#the mean ones are usually because she has a REALLY DARK sense of humor

[oozeyboozey-archive]

on topic with these phone memes. if you have a nickname in her phone , mean or not . . it's a GOOD SIGN. things like that don't happen with her often , so if you end up with a nickname of any kind it's cause she likes you!

[doraminatook]

We're About To Get Playfully Blasphemous Here (or...The Metaphorical Death and Resurrection of Me)

2023 was the year I turned 33, and in case you didn’t know, many religious scholars cite that as the age Jesus was crucified and rose from the dead.  Now, within literature there’s a trope called the Christ-like figure in which a character sacrifices themself and from that death, something happens in order to advance the plot.  Usually that something is either the “dead” character rising from the ashes and obtaining new powers (think Gandalf the Grey battling the Balrog and then coming back as Gandalf the White) or the protagonist being so moved by the death of this secondary character that they are reborn in some way (think Red Badge of Courage’s Jim Conklin (JC…get it?) whose death changes Henry’s opinion on war.)

Because I’m a storyteller and have a dark sense of humor, I began to wonder if I would somehow have a Christ-like-figure-moment within my thirty-third year of life.  (Not long after my birthday, I told my mom that I just had to make it to 34 and then I would have “beaten” Jesus; being a good Lutheran woman, she did not appreciate this joke.)

Now, I may be reaching or forcing figurative imagery into the literal world (isn’t that what artists do?), but I think I did have a “death” and consequential “resurrection”.  

I’m at a strange place in my writing career in that I am not famous (by any means) but I’m also not considered emerging.  Recently, I was told by a theater that I should “sit this contest out” and give someone else a chance but at the same time my work has not been produced enough to catch an agent’s eye.  (It doesn’t help that theatre companies have an intense fixation on world premieres.  They want to be the first one to do the show, apparently assuming that as soon as a piece gets produced once, that means it’s finished.  But that’s a rant for another day.) 

Currently I live in Milwaukee and for a long time I thought (or at least hoped) that I could maybe just make it work here; it is technically a theater town.  Add to that the fact that my whole family lives in Wisconsin, my financial situation was not ideal, and my best friend (platonic soulmate) had made it fairly clear to me that she did not wish to move away from Milwaukee.  When I was honest with myself, I knew that I wanted to get out, but there were so many things holding me back from making the jump.  

As soon as the thought of moving away entered my head, Anxiety would perk up.  Always eager to be the backseat driver, it would shout things like, “Isn’t life here good enough for you?  You’ve got a roof over your head, a job that allows you to pursue your passion, and you’re perfectly healthy.  Be grateful for what you have and stop expecting something more!” 

I attended a workshop for other playwrights from the area and, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I didn’t have a lot in common with many of them.  Discussions and questions whirled around about how we find time to write, where we get inspiration, and how we format a script properly.  Some of the writers present had never even finished a full script.  I certainly am not bringing this up in order to shame anyone, but it was an eye-opening experience for me.  Was I a proverbial big fish in a little pond?

My anxiety had an opinion for that, too.  

“Wow!  Way to be egotistical, D!  You think you’re so much better than everyone here?  Get over yourself!  You’re not special.  You’re just another ‘artist’ who thinks they’ve got something special to say!”

A few weeks later I was at my cousin’s wedding and after the ceremony, he approached me to offer congratulations for all the success I’ve had…only to then immediately cut me off guard with the question, “So when are you moving to New York?”  As the groom, he was quickly called away for photographs and I never really got to answer his question.  

If this moment had been in a play, the spotlight would have hit me right then and there and I would have begun some contemplative soliloquy where I openly pondered, “New York, eh?  Maybe I should go to New York!”

Obviously, as a theatre person, the idea of moving to New York had crossed my mind; it’s the theatre capital of the US for obvious reasons.  But, at the same time, New York just didn’t feel like me.  (I have a lot of opinions on NYC, especially when it comes to the outrageous ticket prices.  When it costs a small fortune to see a Broadway show, art becomes a luxury rather than a necessity.  But that’s a rant for another day.)  It certainly seemed daunting, and every good dream should be at least a little daunting.  But New York was daunting without being exciting.  It felt like something I should do…something that was expected of me.

LA didn’t do it for me, either.  Nor Seattle.  I considered many locations, but nothing really made me sit up and take notice.  I wasn’t about to dive headfirst into debt and throw away a good thing unless it was something that truly excited me…something that was enticing enough to spark a change.  

Again, Anxiety spoke up, “Calm the fuck down, D!  New York?  Even if that is what you wanted, they’d eat you alive there!  You’re a soft midwestern girl who can’t take criticism and cries at the drop of a hat!  You really think you could handle New York or LA?  Also, the cost of living in any of those places is way more than you will ever hope to make!  Stick with Submission Helper.  Stick with the contests and the festivals.  Go back to dreaming only as big as The Milwaukee Repertory Theatre.  Sit down and shut up!”

It may have gone on like this…if not for the summer of 2023.

Close your eyes and picture it: WGA strike, Barbenheimer, The Eras Tour, OceanGate, the Grimace Birthday shake…and in the midst of it all, I was having an epiphany.  

A favorite television show of mine dropped its latest season and I eagerly pulled out the Chardonnay and the popcorn to binge it all.  The vast majority of the show takes place in London and features several actors whom I admire greatly.  Between the giggles, sobs, and various twists and turns of the emotional rollercoaster that was Season 2, something all at once occurred to me.

This is what I want.  

That’s where I want to be.  

I want to move to the United Kingdom.

Was it daunting?  Hell yeah, it was daunting.  

And it was exciting.  

It was a dream that excited me.  

It burned inside me.  

It raged.

It burned so hot that I didn’t know what to do with it.  I paced around my tiny apartment, simply stunned by the prospect of it all.  

Anxiety was in the process of drinking a quad shot espresso con panna and promptly did a spit take upon hearing this new idea.  In a frenzied panic, it bellowed, “Are you nuts?  What the hell do you think you’re doing?  YOU can’t move to the UK!  It would be so difficult!  You’d need to apply for a Visa…or something like that!  Do you even know how to apply for a Visa!”  

“No,” I metaphorically replied, “but I could learn.”

“I bet it’s super difficult!” Anxiety shot back, trembling in fear, “I bet it’s expensive and complicated and you’ll never figure it out!  I bet your sense of humor wouldn’t translate!  I bet you’d end up broke and living under a bridge and crying because you threw away this good thing you had!”

For a split second, Anxiety almost won…but somehow, prompted by the promise of this new dream, I dared to ask, “But what if it worked out?  What if I could figure it out?  What if I somehow scraped up the money and did the research and filed the paperwork and just made it work?”

If it were a play, I would have been standing center stage, staring out into the audience like some kind of dramatic hero and whispering hopefully, “Yes…what if…?”  

It has been a long road to get here, but, despite what Anxiety likes to tell me, I did figure it out.  The process has been stressful enough to induce atypical Shingles and a few anxiety attacks, but it’s happening.  It’s actually happening!

This October I’m going to grad school at the University of Essex where I’ll pursue my masters degree in Scriptwriting.  I’ll hone my skills as a playwright while learning the ins and out of writing for film, television, and radio.  I’ll take the train into London on the weekends and see every show I can at the National Theatre.  I’ll get new life experiences.  I’ll do my best to explore every inch of that beautiful island.  I’m going to do something new because it’s scary and, most importantly, it’s exciting.  

(To add to the awesomeness of this new adventure, my best friend (platonic soul mate) is moving with me and pursuing her own dreams of studying acting…also at the University of Essex.)

My “death” was not as dramatic or world-changing as Jesus’s, but it gave way to a new life for me.  The power of storytelling combined with a newfound confidence was enough to catapult me into something new, something different.    

And I know you’re wondering what show I was watching that prompted this sudden change; if you know anything about me, you’ve probably guessed it already.  

Along with seeing as much theatre as I can on my visits to London, I also plan to have surreptitious meetings at The Bandstand, feed ducks some frozen peas at St. James’s Park, and maybe help avert an apocalypse (or two).  My birthday is in January and it just so happens that Season 3 is scheduled to begin filming around that time; perhaps on my winter holiday, I’ll put myself onto a train and take myself up to Edinburgh.  I have so many thoughts on what could possibly happen next to my favorite angel and demon…but that’s a rant for another day.

(Fun fact: I say this line at least once a week...if only to myself.)

[farfromstrange]

Weed Cookies | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

PART 3 of The Vault

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Karen receives a box of cookies from one of their clients. Foggy and Matt take a bite. Even with his heightened senses though, Matt doesn't realize what's wrong with the cookies before he's absolutely wasted, and you have to babysit him. Yes, they were edibles.

Warnings: Fluff, faint hints at S3 depressed!Matt and suicidal ideations, attempt at humor, crack fic, accidental drug use, for the sake of this fic we are going to pretend that the edibles were made well enough for Mister I-Know-Everything to miss it

Word Count: 3.4k

A/n: I wrote this after watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy with the Weed Cookies. I took some behaviorisms from my own experiences and exaggerated them a little to fit the vibe of this fic. I scraped parts of this and once again adjusted them because this was even more poorly written before than it is now, and I added the Nelson, Murdock & Page Season 3 narrative again because that's now the running theme of this event. Anyway, if you choose to consume edibles, stay safe! (Also, I'm just copying and pasting my usual tag lists. if anyone wants to be added for this event, do let me know)

“We just got cookies from Ms. Lebowsky next door,” Karen announces happily when she enters the office, balancing the transparent Tupperware in one hand and her handbag in the other. 

“She told me to thank you for helping her get out of that hellhole,” she says. Her eyes crinkle in the corners as a mischievous grin takes over her face. “There’s plenty for all four of us. Although she did mention Matt a few more times.”

“Ms. Lebowsky?” Foggy asks. He stands in the doorway of his office, holding a freshly brewed coffee. “Isn’t she the elderly lady we helped last week?”

“Yeah, that’s her. I think she has a crush on Matt.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Of course, she does. Who doesn’t? Not that I do, but—well, you get the gist.” The blood rushes to his cheeks, and Karen giggles in response.

From the office on the left, Matt’s voice rings out, “We just did our jobs,” he says. “She made us cookies, dude!” Foggy inspects the box on Karen’s desk. “They’re chocolate chip cookies. Our favorite. See what good looks can buy you?”

Matt chuckles, his fingers tracing the Braille indentations in the documents that are starting to form a mountain before him. “I think we got them because we’re good lawyers, Foggy.”

“Yeah, right. No way! That woman was smitten the second she came in. I really gotta get that blind thing going. I mean, she’s way too old for you, but come on! You’re in a serious committed relationship, and women still come piling at your door. It’s not fair.”

The way he whines like a little kid who has just been denied his favorite candy makes Karen laugh at his antics, and even Matt can’t help but join in. No matter how stressed he is, and how badly he wants to focus, Foggy never fails to lighten the mood.

Ever since moving offices, things have been going well for the trio. 

When Matt met you, he was at his lowest. You helped him climb out of a dark hole that was threatening to swallow him whole after losing Elektra and almost losing everything he worked so hard for to Wilson Fisk. Thanks to you, he found the will to fight again. You brought him back to life.

He wanted to die. He hated himself for the longest time after the building collapsed and forever took the first woman he ever loved down with its ruins, but then you came into his life, and you didn’t care about his baggage. You were far too good for him, but that didn’t matter to you. 

He fell for you hard and fast, and maybe the timing was a little off because what he needed was therapy and not someone new to get attached to. Still, if you hadn’t pulled him back to his feet and encouraged him to fight back against Fisk, saving his friendship with the people he cares most about in the process, he would have never made it far enough to get therapy.

Matt trusts you with his life because he feels like he owes it to you, but he also loves you more than anything. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him. You’re his soulmate, and he couldn’t be happier.

Nelson & Murdock added Karen to their permanent repertoire. With her, things are flowing much more smoothly, and they’re actually making money now. They’re expensive, as Foggy likes to say it. Matt’s friends are just as happy as he is, giving him hope for the future.

“Hey,” Foggy snaps him out of his trance, “Earth to Murdock.”

Matt blinks behind his glasses, his fingers halting their frantic movements along the paper. “While I don’t disagree with what you’re saying,” he says, “please don’t let my girlfriend hear you say that women are piling at my door.”

Karen snorts. “Trust me, Matt. She knows,” she says.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t remind her of that.”

“My lips are sealed. Foggy?”

He sighs, once again dramatically. “As long as you don’t sleep with them, you have nothing to fear, my friend.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” says Matt. “The one I’m sleeping with is incomparable.”

Foggy grimaces. “Oh, dude. Gross! You know, God made conscious thought as a mechanism for humans to know when to shut up.”

“To be fair, ninety percent of the population don’t know how to use that mechanism,” Karen jumps to Matt’s defense.

As he laughs, he takes a whiff of the air surrounding their new baked goods. Matt can smell the sweet chocolate of the cookies, and somewhat of a herbal essence, but he can’t quite pinpoint why the scent seems so familiar. 

Karen walks around her desk to drop her bag and her coat. “So, do guys want a cookie?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject.

“I’ll take one,” Foggy is quick to answer.

Matt nods from his desk. “I’ll try one, too.”

The innocent decision to indulge in a sweet treat soon comes back to bite them in the ass though. Heavily.

When Matt first bit into the cookie, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It tasted like chocolate mixed with basil, sugar, honey, and the kind of flour Ms. Lebowsky used, but he didn’t find much else wrong with it. Perhaps if he hadn’t allowed himself to get distracted by his phone calling out your name and the sweetest text he could have possibly received this early in the morning from the love of his life, he would have noticed that something tasted off about these cookies. And that what he believed to have been basil as a secret ingredient was something else entirely.

When lunchtime finally rolls around, you drop everything you were doing before and make your way to Matt’s office. You always spend lunch together. It’s your favorite time of the day. For an hour, you can forget the stress of your workplace and focus on him. He’s your safe haven. Your home. You crave to memorize his features anew every day so that you will have something to carry around with you when he has to work a bit longer, or when he goes out at night and his Daredevil duties drag on beyond what he planned. 

You need to be with him as much as possible because you’re scared that your happiness will shatter on a white cloth, and you will be forced to move on—you can’t imagine losing him. You dedicated your life to loving him, and the thought of ever losing that privilege kills you. 

On your way out, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You smile, thinking that it’s Matt, but when Karen’s number pops up on your screen, you frown. 

‘We have a problem,’ she texted you. Without context. 

All the alarms in your head start blaring, and you start to walk a little faster. You start imagining all possible scenarios. When you ask Karen what’s going on, she doesn’t even reply. What if someone got hurt? What if something happened to Matt? You almost lost him once; you can’t go through that again. 

You burst into the new office space that your friends share a few minutes later, your chest heaving and sweat dripping down your pulsating temples. You’re ready to fight whoever dared to hurt the man you love, or possibly threaten your friends, or both, but when you look up and see your darling boyfriend with his cheek pressed against one of the leaves on their gigantic office plant as if the overgrown Calathea were the coziest pillow he has ever touched, you understand why Karen texted you that you—both you and her—have a problem. A big one, too, judging by the looks of it.

“What is going on here?” you ask the dreaded question, shutting the door behind you.

Only then do you notice Karen to your right in Foggy’s office, trying to get him off of his office chair. He’s belting the chorus of Defying Gravity at the top of his lungs, and he’s got a broom clutched tightly in his right hand.

Oh boy. Your wide eyes drift to Karen’s desk in the middle of the room. As soon as you see the chocolate cookies inside the Tupperware, it slowly begins to dawn on you.

You’re not sure which is worse: Matt cradling a houseplant with his glasses discarded and the first three buttons of his dress shirt undone as he’s coated in sweat, or Foggy singing one of Broadway’s greatest ballads so off-key that the Calathea is starting to wither.

It takes Matt much longer than usual to sense your presence in the room. He calls your name, and his lips curl into a bright grin. Even completely out of it, he looks like an angel on earth. 

“Matthew,” you say. You approach him like you would approach a little kid. He’s on his knees, so the analogy isn’t far off. 

“Hi, honey. What’s going on?”

“Sweetheart,” he greets you, and you have never heard this man sound so relaxed. His hazel eyes are red-rimmed and glazed over, but the most obvious change lies in his behavior. 

“Feel that.” He reaches for your hand when you’re close enough for him to smell you, but he misses. “Where are you?” Matt pouts. “I can’t see.”

You want to laugh, but this is not the time. “You are blind, baby,” you remind him. 

“Since when?”

“Over twenty years.”

“Oh.” He finally gets a hold of your hand. The conversation seems to go right over his head. “Feel the power of nature,” he tells you. “It’s so soft.”

You want to drag him away from the potentially dangerous plant if he decides to eat it, but the sight of him is one to behold. He looks downright adorable. 

You have to focus though. You gently pat his hand. “Maybe later,” you say, and then you make your way to Karen’s desk to inspect the cookies.

Behind you, she calls your name. You twirl around. From the looks of it, she managed to get Foggy down from his chair, but he remains singing at the top of his lungs. All the signs point to one thing, and one thing only.

“Did you give my boyfriend weed cookies?” you sound a lot more condescending than you planned to. 

Karen shakes her head. Her face is pale, and she looks just as panicked as you do. “Those are not mine,” she says. 

“But you knew they were edibles?!”

“Of course, I didn’t! I started questioning it when Matt started cuddling the plant because his Braille felt like boobs and he didn't want to cheat on you, so he decided that he needed to touch some grass.” She points to him, exasperated. As if on cue, Matt lets out a happy little sigh.

Your brain struggles to process all of the information at once. “I’m sorry, what?”

“He said that his Braille feels like boobs. I don’t know! I thought he was messing with me until Foggy turned into Elphaba, and that’s when I took a bite and realized there was weed in them,” she says.

You groan, your worried eyes momentarily flicking back to your high boyfriend. High. That’s not a word you thought you would ever associate with him. “How did this happen?” you ask.

“Ms. Lebowsky, the lady next door, we helped her out the other day, and this morning, she gave me these cookies. I called her when these two started acting like idiots—more than usual, anyway. Turns out, she confused them with the ones her niece made for her birthday party tomorrow.”

“Her niece made edibles for her birthday party?”

“Please, don’t ask. I don’t have all the details. I just–”

“It’s fine,” you cut her off. “Just tell me that you’ve got Foggy under control.”

Karen peeks in through the window to his office. “More or less, yeah. You’ve got Matt?”

“Yeah, I’ve got him.”

You have to take care of him. He’s your responsibility. But as calm as he is right now, his heightened senses make the situation a lot more complex than the mere accidental consumption of edibles.

Walking over to him, you try to haul him up. He protests, at first, but then he feels the fabric of your shirt, and he slacks.

Matt wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “You’re so soft,” he coos. “You smell like honey.”

With his entire weight on you, you have to widen your stance so you won’t fall over. His usually quick reflexes are nonexistent right now; he won’t be able to catch you if you trip, and then you’re both going to get hurt.

“You know what’s even softer?” you ask.

“The plant,” he answers confidently. He sounds like a more careless version of himself. You can’t deny that it does something to you.

“No, silly,” you chuckle softly, “I meant your bed.”

“Oh. But I’m not tired.”

“You’re high.”

He pouts. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” You stroke his back. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

He stiffens and relaxes at the same time. You swear you can feel the electricity in his veins as his nerves respond to the feeling of your skin on his. It’s like he’s on fire. Like your touch feels a million times more intense, and he’s being crushed under the weight of it in a way that makes him crave more. 

He squeezes you tighter, trying to get swallowed by you, consumed to the point that you are the same person. The drugs are doing a number on him, and his already heightened sense of feeling has increased tenfold to the point you’re not sure if it’s pleasurable or painful or both. It must be agonizing, yet at the same time there is a high chance that the weed is calming his nerves and dampening his perception to the point he’s taking everything in without the added weight—he’s enjoying the newfound sensations in limbo, and he’s unaffected by it. You wonder how long that is going to last. 

After bidding farewell to Karen, wishing her good luck with Foggy who has now reached a point of his high where he’s lying on the floor, demanding to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody and cry over Freddie Mercury. She assures you that she has got it under control, apologizes again, and then sends you on your way.

“Bye, Karen,” Matt says. “You have very nice hair.” His hand tangles in yours, and his face lights up like a Christmas Tree. You managed to convince him to put his glasses on, at least, or he might get irritated. “Never mind,” his voice turns into a pur. 

Usually, you would shiver at his fingers in your hair, tracing the strands and sensually massaging your scalp only he knows how to, but today is not one of those days. You’re still concerned about the effects that the weed might have on him, so you want to be careful, although you’re not sure how much longer you can keep yourself from laughing. 

As you maneuver Matt through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, his cane hovers above the ground and his arm is hooked around yours. Without you, he would have run off into traffic by now. He has absolutely no spatial awareness anymore. 

Every sound, scent, and texture seems to capture his attention, but there's one sensation in particular that he can't seem to shake: thirst. You’re not even home yet, and you had to stop by a convenience store to get him a bottle of water. He shed his coat, which you are now carrying for him while also guiding him while simultaneously trying not to attract any unwanted attention. 

You can’t help but look at him as though he is your whole world. He is. He is everything to you, even high on edibles he never meant to consume, and acting like a feral toddler. If anything, you are even prouder now that he is yours. 

“Hey,” he whispers, leaning close to you, “do you think fire hydrants taste like licorice?”

You shake your head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Matt, don’t lick the fire hydrant.” 

He pouts. For a moment, you think that you have steered off any possible disaster, but that was only wishful thinking.

Matt’s curiosity knows no bounds, and he’s soon reaching out to touch anything that catches his eye. He runs his fingers along the rough brick foundation of a building, marveling at the texture, and he stops to sniff a flower, declaring, “This is the most beautiful flower I have ever smelled.”

You pluck it for him, and he carries it in the pocket of his coat with a happy smile. 

You’re both exhausted when you finally make it to his apartment. Getting his large frame through the door is one thing, stopping him from tearing the tap off the sink as he desperately searches for liquid with the words, “Water!” is another.

“Okay, okay,” you try to calm him. You grab a bottle from the fridge, open it for him, and force him to take it. “Drink.”

One touch is enough for him to drop it. “It’s cold,” he recoils in agony.

You sigh. “Tap water it is, then.”

You have never seen him down so many glasses of water. He is severely dehydrated and sensitive to changes in temperature. It’s either too hot or too cold, and you’re so glad that Karen texted you when she did.

You manage to get him to the couch with some snacks that he devours within seconds. If he moves one more inch today, you may not be able to catch him again.

His lip twitches. “Chickens don’t have any arms.”

You pause in the process of wrapping him in a blanket, staring blankly ahead at him. “Excuse me?” you ask.

“Chickens don’t have any arms,” Matt states. “Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the second amendment in the constitution. If an egg was fertilized on US soil, and the chicken hatched there as well, technically, that makes them a citizen of the United States of America, therefore allowing tiny creatures without arms the right to bear arms, but who gives the bears their arms?” 

You’re so flabbergasted that the absurdity of the situation eludes you. The words process only slowly in your mind, and when they do, they cause a wave of confusion to wash over you before it turns into genuine amusement, and it takes every ounce of self-control to keep yourself from laughing at him.

You can pinpoint the exact second the thought escapes his mind and something else replaces it. His hand brushes over the leather couch. “Smooth,” he observes. You haven’t even fully processed his very philosophical question about the animal kingdom before he drops his cheek down on the couch.

The man who has been carrying the weight of the world in bricks on his back for years is finally relaxed; it shouldn’t leave such a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

You kneel in front of him, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Do you need anything?” you ask.

Matt’s gaze is filled with an odd sort of clarity. “Nah. Just you,” he mumbles.

A soft smile tugs at your lips as you brush a sweaty strand of hair away from his forehead. "I'm right here," you reassure him. 

He nods, his eyelids drooping as the effects of the edibles start to take their toll. “Good.” He searches for your hand, and you help him intertwine your fingers. A giddy smile finds its way onto his face. “You’re warm.”

You lean in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “And you’re high,” you tease.

Matt huffs out a breathy laugh. “Mmh, yeah,” he says. “But it’s okay. ‘Cause you’re here.”

Despite the chaos and the unexpected turn of events, there’s a sense of contentment settling over you as you watch him drift off into a state of bliss. He deserves it more than anyone. 

You stay by his side, watching over him as he succumbs to the pull of sleep that you’re all too familiar with after a sudden high. 

“Note to self,” you say to yourself, “never eat a stranger’s cookies without drug testing them first.”

And love has funny ways of making even the most absurd moments feel strangely beautiful.

Matt Murdock Tag List: @littlenerdyravenclaw @yarrystyleeza @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @thatonegamefish @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattkinsella @itwasthereaminuteago @linamarr @gpenguin666 @acharliecoxedfan

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"The Taste of You"

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 6113

Tags: Fresh AU, dark rom-com, dark!Bucky, pre-serum Steve, kidnapping, cannibalism, yandere/basement wife, meet cute-ish, gay sex n' stuff, ignoring of sexual boundaries, dub-con bordering on non-con, (mostly humorous) gore, (mostly humorous) body horror

Summary: Steve is so tired of the meat market that modern dating has become. Just when he's deleted all the apps and given up on ever finding Mr. Right, he meets the perfect guy at the grocery store.

A dark, cute, funny, fucked up, and very tasty love story.

It's a Fresh AU. "If you can't handle the cannibalism, get out of the kitchen" ... or something like that

11. Marinate

Wait! I haven't read a previous chapter. Story Masterlist

Steve:

Steve wakes up to a racket. “Mmph.” He sits up from his mattress, the thin blanket draped over his knees, two knobbly points where he rests his elbows as he rubs the crust from his eyes. As he wakes fully, he begins to make more sense of what’s making the racket.

“Help Meee! Somebodee!!! Heeelp! Please!!”

He groans and plops his face into the cradle of his criss-crossed arms. Right. Last night was Date Night.

“Hello?!!! Can anybody hear me?!!!

Bucky had walked by carrying her. Steve’d barely gotten a glimpse of a limp neck and a mass of dangling brown hair before they were out of sight and he heard the low, rolling drag of one of the other cell’s door being opened, then closed. Bucky had come over with their nightly Old Fashioneds to drink together, still wearing his nice date clothes. It’d been hard for Steve to reconcile his base attraction to the man, while also knowing the reason why he was dressed up like that in the first place.

Bucky had been glad to see him. He’d kissed him, and Steve had smelled ladies’ perfume on his shirt. Bucky slid down the wall and talked about how he was so pooped, how he was so glad that now he could just take it easy and spend more time at the house with Steve. He talked as if he’d just gotten through a regular day’s work instead of a diabolical kidnapping scheme. “Ugh,” he’d groaned, running a hand through his hair as he picked the cherry out of his glass. “Now I can relax.”

Erica Buccanetti was in the basement.

Currently, the woman down the hall—Erica—keeps yelling and yelling and yelling, and eventually Steve can’t take it anymore. “Hey!” he calls out. Shut up, he wants to say, but doesn’t. Because it’d be mean.

The screaming stops for the briefest second, and then the woman screams even louder and more desperately, tears clogging her voice. “Hello?! Ohmygod! Please, please you have to help me!! This guy! He—he chained me to the floor!! He kidnapped me!”

Steve looks down at his own wrist. “Yup,” he mutters. But he hasn’t yelled it so she doesn’t hear him. She just keeps screaming and crying for Steve to help her.

Bucky had warned him that it would probably go this way.

“I don’t even tell them what they’re here for until the first wave of screaming stops. It’s best to just let ‘em cry it out for those first couple of hours. Once we have The Talk, they usually freak out again for anywhere between an hour and a day, then it’s just how fast they move through the five stages of grief.”

Steve’s go no clue what the five stages of grief are, but figures freaking-the-fuck-out might be one of them. Over in her cell, Erica screams and pleads so much that Steve can’t even get a word in edgewise to tell her that he’s being held prisoner, too. “Please I’ll do anything!” she yells, voice echoey. Anything!! Please! You have to help me!!

It sounds like she’s several cells down from the one Steve’s in. The basement walls are all concrete and stone and sound tends to carry out in the spiraled hallway. Especially since the doors to their cells aren’t solid. “I can’t help you!” Steve calls out. “We’re in the same boat!” Really, they’re not, but he doesn’t need to tell her that now. She’d never stop screaming if he did. Bucky’s the freak who kidnapped her, why should Steve be the one who has to break the bad news that he also plans on eating her?

“What??! How long have you been here?!”

Steve sighs and lies back down on his mattress. “I dunno! Less than a month!” He’s lying. He knows exactly how long it's been. He only knows because of Bucky’s visits, because of his meals and when they come. If it weren’t for those, Steve wouldn’t have a clue what time of day it even was. He’s got a little tally going on the side of the toilet-sink, classic prisoner style. He puts a scratch in the metal with the links of his chain, one for each breakfast Bucky serves him. But yesterday he’d almost forgotten to do the tally. He’d forgotten until it was bedtime, and for some reason that really bothered him. He’d scratched that day’s tally in with extra vigor.

Now, he reaches over to grab his most recent book. He finds the page he left off on.

“You know James?!” Erica yells. “Did he—did he take you too?! Why?! What’s he want with us?!!”

It hurts Steve, to hear her use the name James, to be reminded that Steve himself was duped just the same as everybody else. He’d called Bucky James, up until a few weeks ago. Steve shouts, “Yep!” not wanting her to know that he goes by Bucky, for some reason. Steve flips a page in his book, wonders if Bucky eventually tells all his prisoners his nickname. He hopes not. Why does he hope that?

“What does he want?! Oh, god, is he … is he gonna rape me?!”

Steve groans and lets his forehead thunk down to the page. “No!” he tells her. He can hear her moving around over in her room, grunting with effort, the chain rattling as she tries to free herself. She starts sobbing after a while, screams some more, then goes back to the sobbing. She doesn’t try to communicate with Steve any further, and Steve is actually kind of glad.

She’s been quiet for a few hours, and Steve is pretty sure she’s fallen asleep. He’s made his way through most of Anna Karenina by the time Bucky appears.

“Morning,” he says, friendly, setting down the breakfast tray that he’s brought Steve. It’s blueberry pancakes today and Steve’s stomach actually grumbles as he takes the tray. He spreads the butter and pours the syrup, cuts into the fluffy pancakes. Bucky makes the best fucking pancakes Steve’s ever had. “How was it?” Bucky asks, tipping his head towards the cell door. “With her here?”

Steve glares at him. “Awful. Screaming and crying. Woke me up.”

Bucky makes an apologetic face. “It’ll get better. It’s about ten a.m. now. I’ll go in and have The Talk with her once she wakes back up.”

“Ugh.” Steve figures there’s going to be a lot more screaming in his future. “Why’d you design the rooms this way?” he asks, genuinely curious. “Why’d you make it so that we can—” he cuts himself off as he realizes that he’s including himself in Bucky’s victim pool. He swallows thickly, and rephrases, “Why’d you make it so that they can talk to each other?”

Bucky shrugs. “Having each other to talk to calms them down, gives ‘em something to do. Plus, I think it makes the rooms feel nicer and less threatening, to have the sliding doors. Less claustrophobic.”

Steve’s eyes drag over to the wooden slats of the cell door. Leave it to Bucky to design an aesthetically pleasing dungeon. “Have you ever had somebody escape?”

“No.” Bucky’s eyes narrow. “Why? You making plans?”

Steve snorts and spears another bite of pancake onto his fork. “Come on Buck. No.” Steve’s a realist. He knows that if he escapes (when he scolds himself, when he escapes), it’ll have to be from upstairs. “I just wondered.”

Bucky watches him carefully for a long minute, like he’s sizing him up. “One girl,” he says quietly, coming down to sit next to Steve. He steals a bite of pancake, eating it thoughtfully. “One girl almost got out, once. She was one of those mutants, like you hear about on the news, you know? Only I didn’t know it.” He licks the syrup from his fingertips. “I mean it’s not like they’re common, especially now the government’s got that serum to fix ‘em. What are the chances, right?”

Steve’s eyebrows raise. “What, like she could walk through walls or something?”

“She definitely would’ve escaped if that were it.” Bucky scoffs. “Naw. Turns out she could freeze things. The roofies kept her from it at first I guess, but then they wore off and she got to work. First she burst the pipes, tried to flood herself out. I turned the water off, confused as fuck how it’d happened, cause it was the middle of summer. I left her in here while I tried to get a plumber in, tried to fix things. Meanwhile, she was down here freezing the bedroom door.” He points at said door. “Froze the wood brittle and busted through like it was made’a toothpicks.”

Steve’s gaze slides over to the slatted panels of the door. It’s like a chic, mid-century modern version of a prison cell’s barred doors. Steve’s chain doesn’t extend far enough to let him go over there and test it, but from the looks and sounds of things it’s solid hardwood, with an electronic locking mechanism anchored deep inside the concrete wall. Unless he’s got a superpower he’s yet to discover, there’s no way he’d be able to break the thing open.

The fact that the door is so transparent, slatted instead of solid, is almost like a taunt in his opinion. Freedom: so close yet so far away.

“But I got her under control before she could cause any real damage. Knocked her out, got a hold of the serum to fix her. Now I keep an emergency kit of the stuff in the OR.” Bucky sighs like it’s a disappointing memory. “Had to punish her of course.”

Steve blinks, disturbed by the thought of what it would be like to almost escape such a horrible fate, only to get dragged back again. He swallows thickly. “What’d you do? Cut off her legs?”

“Hands,” Bucky says. He holds up his own, wriggling his fingers in the air. “That’s how she did the freezing thing. With her hands. It was just a freak chance that she turned out to be like that. I’ve never had any other trouble with product.”

Steve glares at him for using that term again. “And what did she do, to deserve to get eaten?”

“You know I actually don’t remember.” Bucky says thoughtfully. “Something heinous, I’m sure. Usually involving kids.” He must see the distaste on Steve’s face because he leans closer to him, scowling. “Hey. I don’t ever take innocents.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that.”

“It’s true. I’d have to look at my records to know what her story was. They all start blending together after a while.”

“You keep records?” Steve scowls, suddenly not very hungry for his pancakes anymore. He pushes the tray back in Bucky’s general direction. “Done.”

Bucky frowns at his obvious discontent. “You sure do have a lot of questions all of a sudden,” he says. “You want to know about how my business runs?”

“Maybe.” Steve holds his nose up in the air, stubborn. “Maybe I’m curious.”

“Curious,” Bucky echoes, watching him closely. He’s suspicious, but there’s something underneath of that suspicion, something interested about Steve being interested. Steve has intrigued him.

“Hello?! Are you still there?! Hello!!! Guy?! Mister?! Are you still there?!”

Both Bucky and Steve sigh at the renewed yelling. Erica’s awake again. Steve watches as Bucky hefts himself to his feet and heads to the door, looking for all the world like he’s simply off to do a business presentation that he’s been dreading. “Wish me luck,” he says, sliding the door open and closed again.

Steve stares at where he left, feeling apathetic and really mixed up about it. “Good luck,” he mutters.

Bucky:

For some reason, Bucky just doesn’t get as much enjoyment out of it as usual. He doesn’t even fix himself a drink to watch her come to. By the time he’s downstairs the next morning, Steve’s already interacted with her. Of course Bucky knew that might happen. But he figures shielding Steve from the realities of his business won’t do either of them any favors. It is what it is.

Erica does the whole shiver-gasp-hyperventilate-scream-cry-scream-cry thing, which Bucky waits out with an admirable amount of patience. “Erica, Honey,” he says when he thinks he’s finally got a chance. “Are you ready to listen to me? I’d like to talk to you but you’re making it very hard.” She sniffles and refuses to look at him, curled up in the corner by her mattress.

What is it about women and corners? Bucky thinks. He can get to them just as easily there as anywhere else. You’d think they’d figure that out. With no response forthcoming from Erica, he takes a deep breath and tells her, “So like I said, it's what I do for work. People pay me a lot of money for it. And I understand it’s a lot to come to terms with. You’ll be thinking about escaping, and killing me, all that. But besides all that, I don’t want you to worry. You’re going to be fed well here—no meat, so we don’t even have to get into that. I give my girls pain meds whenever they need them, so you should never be in anything more than minimal discomfort.”

She peeks out from the messy splay of her brown hair at that, her eyes all puffy and red-rimmed. “... Minimal discomfort,” she breathes. “Are you fucking serious?”

Bucky hums, displeased. “It’s better than the alternative, Sweetheart.” He claps his hands and gets to his feet. “And hey, think about it: you’re religious, right? Catholic?”

Her eyes widen, shocked that he knows this. It’s cute, Bucky thinks, how none of them ever suspect the stalking. “How do you know that?” she whispers.

He shakes his head at her and he heads for the door. “I just brought it up because I was gonna suggest that, if you believe in God and heaven and hell and all that, you might try to look at your time here as a sort of penance. For what you did to your brother.” At the door he looks back at her and sees her shocked eyes and parted lips. “Yeah,” he simpers. “Just think: God might even let you into heaven once I’m through with you. You just have to be sorry enough.”

He walks out and slides the door shut. She doesn’t start crying and screaming again until he’s halfway to the stairs.

Steve:

After a week of Erica, Steve is running out of patience. According to Bucky—who fancies himself an amateur psychologist—she’s in the ‘Bargaining Stage’, whatever the hell that means. For Steve it means talking constantly and needling him for answers.

“Steve! Are you awake?!

“Steve! We have to think of a plan!!”

“Has he eaten you yet?!”

“Is James gay or straight?! We could try and seduce him! Bite his dick off!”

“Where are you from?! What do you do?! What’s your family like? Do you think they’re looking for us yet?!”

Steve barely glances at the lunch tray Bucky brings him that day. “Please,” he begs, tossing aside his copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance without saving his spot. “Please let me come upstairs for a little bit.” He’s not even thinking of escaping, is the sad thing. He just needs a break.

“She a talker?” Bucky asks wryly.

“She only stops when you come down,” Steve grits, feeling bad for feeling this way towards his fellow captive. But he can’t help it. She’s relentless, seems to think that if they really put their minds to it, the two of them can find a way to bust out of there. Steve tells her the story that Bucky told him of the mutant woman, tells her how Bucky wooed him and brought him there. For a day or two, he really does try. He talks.

But he doesn’t tell her about how Bucky isn’t planning on eating him. He doesn’t tell her how he’s apparently not on the menu like she is, how he's not going to die, how Bucky is convinced that he and Steve are going to be together. He tells himself he does this out of compassion for Erica, so that she can feel solidarity with him and not lose hope or whatever. But really, he just doesn’t want her to know about his special memories, the private things he knows about Bucky, the things Steve has with him that she never will. He wants to keep that to himself. He’s not sure why exactly, but he does.

He doesn’t tell her that Bucky goes by ‘Bucky’ and not James.

He also doesn’t want to lump himself in with her. Because as bad as Steve feels for her situation, Bucky still told him about what she did to her brother. And it really does help Steve from feeling too much sympathy for her. It’s funny, but he always kind of assumed it was all men who did those awful things. But Bucky shows him the paperwork. He shows him the proof. So when Erica whines and laughs and cries, high as a kite on her pain meds, upset about the fact that Bucky chopped her leg off, Steve doesn’t feel as bad or as horrified as he knows he should. He just keeps telling her to try to go to sleep. The more she sleeps, the less he has to deal with her.

By now she’s been tapered down a bit on the meds, so she’s back to being her usual chatty self. She thinks the two of them are bosom buddies. Come to find out, she’s a really vapid and annoying sort of person. She tells him about her dead-end job that she could give a rat's ass about, and Steve thinks that it just fucking figures she'd be a DMV employee, of all things.

“I need a break,” he repeats to Bucky with pleading eyes. “Please.” 

I want to spend time with someone I actually like. 

He has thoughts like that all the time, but of course he never says them. He doesn’t like Bucky, he just … gets along with him really well. Or at least he used to, before all this happened.

“Well …” Bucky hedges, looking like he’s really considering it.

Steve’s heart leaps. “I’ll be good,” he promises, talking quietly even though it’s really not necessary. He knows Erica can’t make out their words right now, just like Steve can’t hear Bucky talking to her at a normal decibel over in her cell. But the sound of the electronic locks at the top of the basement stairs is always clear as a bell, and both Steve and Erica know what it means when they hear that familiar ‘beep’, those familiar footsteps coming down. Steve is sure it strikes far more terror into her than it does him. Especially since the surgery happened.

Bucky took her leg. Steve asks him about it when he’s guided upstairs and into the bathroom. He’s being allowed to come up for a shower, but then it’s back downstairs. He’s disappointed at the limitation, but doesn’t complain. Baby steps. “So, did you eat her?” he asks, trying to use the conversation to distract himself from the way that Bucky watches him undress. There’s nothing Steve can do about it. He needs to shower at some point. He stinks.

“No,” Bucky tells him. “She’s just for Carlo, remember?”

“Mm.” Steve gets the water running and glances nervously back at Bucky. “I don’t want you to come in with me,” he says, trying to firm up his voice into something that Bucky will respect. “I just want to get clean, please.”

Bucky inclines his head as if to say, 'Go right ahead'.

Steve steps into the shower, and oh, it feels like heaven after not washing for so long. He checks once more to make sure that Bucky isn’t coming in after him, then closes his eyes and leans into the spray. Bucky’s voice sounds from the other side of the glass door. “There’s a safety razor in there. You can use it. But if you try to slit your wrists or something stupid like that, all you’re gonna achieve is a shit ton of discomfort.”

Steve looks around and spots the razor. He picks it up, blinking at it. He knows Bucky isn’t going to leave him alone in the bathroom long enough to do anything with it. Not that Steve’s plan involves self harm. It doesn’t. It involves Bucky harm. “Thanks,” he mutters, and proceeds to try and shave his face without the aid of a mirror. He’s pretty successful, only nicking himself once or twice along his jawline.

“Thank you,” he says again, figuring that a little more mild behavior can’t hurt his game. “For letting me shower up here.”

“You’re welcome, Honey. Your new room has a shower in it.” It’s finished, Bucky’s told him. Just needs a few ‘personal touches’, whatever that means. “And there’s a solid door. You won’t have to listen to all the crying and screaming anymore.”

Steve nods, a silent laugh bubbling up in his chest at the hilariousness of how awful those words are: ‘you won’t have to listen to the crying and screaming anymore’. Jesus Christ. How awful is it that Steve is laughing at that? Or that all he can think about is how soon he’ll be able to get a full night’s sleep, read a whole chapter, take a long shit, without interruption. He loses his temporary mirth and opens his eyes with his head ducked under the spray, the water sluicing off his hair and down his nose, his lips. What is he becoming? “Why did you tell me your name was James?” he asks quietly.

“Hm?” Bucky didn’t hear, and Steve repeats himself. Bucky steps closer to the shower door, the shadow of his body visible.

“If you weren’t planning on taking me or … or selling my meat, then why not introduce yourself as Bucky?” Steve looks over and sees the blurred form of him through the steam and the dimpled shower glass, his hand up against the door, palm flat. “Why’d you have to do that?” he asks, so quietly that he’s surprised he gets an answer at all.

“Habit,” Bucky says, and he sounds regretful. “I was stalking Eileen at the time, so I was in work mode. I wasn’t expecting to meet you. It’s … it’s hard to let anyone close.” His voice has gone quiet now, too. Soft and serious. Steve feels like he’s holding his breath as Bucky tells him through the glass, “You just get used to separating yourself into these … these different pieces. And you keep ‘em that way. Nobody sees all of you.”

“... That sounds lonely.”

“It is. But you form habits. I’m sorry.”

Steve looks back down at the shower floor, at his feet, his toes. He knows how lucky he is not to have lost anything yet. He’s still not sure he even trusts that Bucky won’t take something, eventually. “I didn’t tell her,” he says. “Your name. ‘Bucky’. I didn’t want her to know it.” He shakes his head at himself, mutters, “S’stupid.”

“No, it’s not.” Bucky opens the shower door and Steve jumps in place, jerking back a little. But Bucky’s still clothed and he doesn’t try to come into the shower. He just reaches in and takes Steve’s hand and gives it a squeeze. His shirt sleeve gets soaked in the process, but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s looking right at Steve. “It’s not stupid at all, honey,” he says, eyes tender. “You’re not like them. Not at all.”

“What am I like?” Steve whispers.

Bucky smiles softly. “You’re Steve. You’re my boyfriend. My lover. Hopefully, one day, my partner.” Steve gapes at him and Bucky just gives his hand another squeeze, then retreats. The shower door separates them once again, and Steve is left to stand there, shaking under the water for a while as he has an existential crisis. He thinks about possible ways to murder Bucky for at least ten minutes straight. Unfortunately, pummeling him to death with the body wash doesn’t pass muster. The little cheap safety razor not much better. Bucky will notice if he tries to sneak it.

“You turned into a prune in there yet?” Bucky teases.

Steve shakes himself out of it and proceeds to wash his hair.

Bucky:

He plans out the perfect day for them, and by the time he’s given Erica her breakfast and is able to bring Steve up from the basement, he’s very excited. It’s just over seventy degrees outside that day and the sun is shining. It streams in through the kitchen’s skylights while the coffee machine percolates away. Bucky is in a fantastic mood.

He gives Steve a big good morning kiss, thumbing over his smooth-shaven jaw. The little cuts from yesterday are all gone, and he resolves to have a safety mirror installed in Steve's new bathroom downstairs. "Sleep any better?" he asks. Steve mumbles something vaguely affirmative and Bucky beams, because in only a few days he's planning on surprising Steve with his new room. “So, I’ve got the perfect day planned for us,” he proclaims as he holds the barstool out for Steve. Steve climbs up and Bucky secures his left cuff to the link that’s embedded in the quartz countertop. He’s installed them in all sorts of handy locations upstairs, since Steve’s been there.

Because baby steps.

He pushes Steve’s stool back in and goes over to start whipping up their breakfast. “French omelets,” he proclaims proudly. “Toast, bacon, other-bacon, and fresh squeezed orange juice.” Steve, of course, sneers at the ‘other-bacon’. Bucky ignores it. “What do you like in your omelets?” he asks him cheerfully.

“Onions, cheese, mushrooms, spinach,” Steve lists off, carefully eyeing all the things that Bucky pulls from the fridge. “I’d say ham if you had it, but …”

“I’ve got it.” Bucky produces a ham steak, still in its grocery store packaging, and that seems to satisfy Steve. He starts chopping up different things, humming as he goes along.

“Why’re you so chipper?” Steve asks, reaching for his glass of juice.

“You have to ask?” Bucky grins across the counter at him, but the grin fades a little as he takes in Steve’s expression. Bucky puts down his knife and rounds the island, coming up beside Steve and cupping his jaw. “Hey,” he says tenderly. “I’m happy, because I’ve got my fella up here with me. I get to spend the day with you.” He kisses him lightly. “You have any idea how much I’ve missed that?” Steve shivers under his hands, but at least he doesn’t pull away. Bucky hums knowingly and pecks another kiss to his mouth before going back to the cutting board. “So since you said you were curious, I thought I’d show you around the property today.” He peeks up at Steve, sees him sitting there observantly. “Show you how things run. If you want.”

Bucky knows it’s risky, that it might provoke a negative reaction from Steve. Maybe even cause a setback of sorts. But in the long run he thinks it’s a good move. The more open and honest he can be with Steve, the more Steve can come to terms with everything. Because after all, that’s the dream, isn’t it? Full, true intimacy. No games or projections, no thin, exhausting veneer of who he knows he’s supposed to be for that specific person. Just him and someone who knows all of him, and accepts him, and stays.

Bucky grabs a handful of mushrooms and gives them a quick chop. He starts cracking eggs. “You can ask me questions, you know,” he says coaxingly, checking on Steve’s expression. “If you want. I’ll answer honestly.”

Steve frowns thoughtfully. “Mmm, I dunno.” He sits there for another few moments, and Bucky starts to think that he won’t take him up on the offer, but then, “Was the China story true? About the village?”

Bucky pauses. Steve looks genuinely curious, so he tells him, “Yeah. Yeah it was. Only, I knew what I was being served. I’d picked up the barest bit of Mandarin while I was there, and I heard them whispering.”

“And you ate it anyway?”

He nods, watching Steve carefully. “And I ate it anyway.” Steve looks back down. He doesn’t look happy with that answer, but he doesn’t look hateful or disgusted either, which makes Bucky’s heart lift hopefully.

“When did you start doing it. On your own?”

He takes a deep breath, wary of upsetting Steve but knowing that this is something they have to get past. “I was in med school, still.”

“Cadavers?”

He laughs. “You have thought this out.” When Steve just shrugs and sips his orange juice, Bucky clarifies, “Cadavers are embalmed. You can’t eat them. But, sometimes we’d get a severed limb in the ER. You know, something that couldn’t be reattached.” He tips his head permissively as he swirls the eggs to a fine scramble. “... and, sometimes I was the one in charge of disposing of the pieces.”

“Ew.”

He smirks and flicks the burner on. Steve’s ‘Ews’ don’t have as much vitriol to them as they used to. It gives Bucky hope. “Yeah. So I had a few more opportunities to try it. And of course I researched it. Found out it wasn’t harmful.”

“Except for the brains,” Steve supplies dully, and Bucky points the spatula at him with a grin.

“Hey! You’re learning!” He pours the eggs into the pan and they sizzle and pop against the heated Teflon. He sprinkles in the ingredients for Steve’s omelet, stuffs a pinch of shredded cheese in his mouth, and chews. “Yeah, so, I knew this guy in tech, right? And he had access to some stuff. Dark web stuff. That’s where I found an entire community of people who do this. Come to find out, it’s been a thing since like, forever, and then ... I don’t know,” he shrugs emphatically and flips the edge of the omelet inwards. “There’s like this whole subculture that’s formed around it. People started showing interest in me when they found out I was a surgeon. I made friends, figured out that I could get rich off it—hell of a lot richer than doing butt lifts and boob jobs—and I just … started slow. Treated as a hobby, before I went professional with it.” Steve snorts, but it’s not mean, and it makes Bucky grin in turn. He finishes up Steve’s omelet and slides it out of the pan, points to one of the two plates of cooling bacon that are resting on paper towels. “That’s the vegetarian pile, if you couldn’t tell.”

They look almost identical. But Bucky has only ever lied to Steve once, and this isn’t it. Steve only hesitates with his fingers over the bacon for a second, then he’s taking two strips for himself. Bucky bites his lip and wonders if Steve would even try a bite of the other bacon …

“What’s ‘slow’?” Steve asks, crunching through his slice of bacon.

Bucky watches it covetously. Seeing Steve put that much trust in him is such a huge thrill. “What?” he asks distractedly.

“You said you started ‘slow’.”

“Oh.” He tears his eyes away from Steve’s grease-smeared lips. “Um, well I didn’t have this place.” He gestures around the kitchen. “Just my condo in the city back then, so I had to go one at a time. And it was wasteful, because I had to harvest the whole body all at once. Nobody pays the same rates for frozen meat. They want fresh.” He frowns at the memory, pouring more eggs into the pan. “Back then I’d rent a place, a cabin or something. Come upstate for a long weekend. I'd do the work, clean up, freeze whatever wasn’t bought right off the bat. Just had to learn my way around it, find a process that worked for me.” He peeks up at Steve to check on him, but the guy is very studiously consuming his omelet. “I was doing three, maybe four girls a year? Eh, I dunno. Something like that.”

Steve shakes his head. “‘Doing’. Christ.”

“You know what I mean.” Bucky plates his own food and pulls out the stool next to Steve’s. “The dark web has a lot more than cannibals on it, Honey. You can find a lot of good targets. Pedos and stuff.” Steve finally looks up at him and Bucky gives him a nod, satisfied. “Yeah, exactly. For a while I really tried to push the man-meat on clients, just because they were so much easier to track down, and there were so many of them, with their kiddie porn and shit. But the clients wanted women.”

“Gotta please the customer,” Steve mumbles. “So you were a mobile serial killer, and now you’re a stationary one.”

“Don’t call me that,” Bucky says, a little sharper than he intends to. That gets him another solid moment of eye contact with Steve. “I’m not a serial killer. They kill for psychological reasons. They need the thrill. I don’t. I’m just running a business.”

“Sure.”

“You know I wouldn’t even kill them if it was possible. I’d take a leg and set them loose, if I could.” Bucky grabs a piece of ‘other-bacon’ and crunches down on it. “I’m a butcher, but I do it humanely. You should see the fucks these people were buying from before. Before I came on the scene.”

Steve looks at him with wide eyes, says, “Wha?” around a mouthful of egg. Bucky hums darkly.

“Yeah. I chatted with a few online. And I’ve met one in person. Gotta research the competition when you’re setting up a business plan, after all.” He sneers as he remembers the losers he’d found. “They were serial killers. Rapists, sadists. Did all kinds of horrible shit to their victims. Then if there was anything salvageable, that’s what they hocked.” Bucky sees the horror and disgust in Steve’s eyes again and he nods. “It was easy to drive them out of business. All that fear and stress? It's not good for the meat. My product tastes better."

"Product," Steve repeats dully.

"Right. So who would pay for scraps when they could get a gourmet meal with all the fixings instead?”

“Oh,” Steve says, and he pokes at his omelet instead of eating it. “Yeah.”

Bucky swipes another piece of other-bacon. “It wasn’t just not having the house. I also worked full time at a private practice. But I gave that up after the first five years. Had the house built, moved to full time. Now I can handle more like twelve, fifteen girls a year if I rotate consistently. Last year I was a workaholic and did over twenty. I made bank, but it was nuts. I’m never doing that again.”

Steve goes still next to him and Bucky senses the tension. He looks over. “What?”

Steve scoffs a little and shakes his head. “Nothing, I’m just stupid is all. I actually thought you had a job. The practice you talked about. I still thought it was real.” He stabs another bite of his omelet up and shoves it in his mouth. “You don’t practice medicine.”

For some reason, that wounds Bucky’s pride. He looks back down at his plate, hurt. “Yeah, not really,” he murmurs. Just what he does with the girls, but he supposes that doesn’t really count. He does miss it sometimes. Just the social aspects of it mostly. It’s very isolating, what he does alone. He sighs and eats his food.

After Breakfast, he gives Steve time to get dressed for a walk. He smiles when Steve emerges from his room in a new outfit. “That’s one you haven’t worn yet.”

Steve shrugs. “I was saving it.”

Bucky bites his tongue to keep from saying anything, privately tickled that Steve was saving a date outfit. Mostly, Steve’s been wearing the men’s extra small sweatpants and generic tee shirts that Bucky supplies him with, but today he’s chosen to wear something of his own. It’s just an Aerosmith tee shirt with a jean button up thrown over it, but Steve looks good no matter what he wears. At least in Bucky’s opinion. “Here.” he hands over Steve’s boots. They lace up, so Bucky hasn’t allowed him to keep them in his room. “You need a belt?”

“I’m good," Steve murmurs.

Bucky grins and claps his hands together. “Okay then. On with the tour!”

They walk the edge of the property. It’s the trail that Bucky jogs most mornings, and he tells Steve that. “This is big,” is what Steve has to say. “You have a lot of land.”

Bucky puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him in for a hug. “Hey,” he says softly, speaking into Steve’s hair. “I know you’re thinking about ways to run away right now.”

Steve tenses in his arms, but he doesn’t deny it. Bucky kisses the top of his head. “It’ll get better,” he promises. “It will. Just gotta give it time.”

Steve avoids looking at him after that. They finish their loop of the property at the barn. Bucky decides not to take Steve inside, but he explains what he does there. Steve seems to take it pretty well, in Bucky's opinion.

“So once they’re dead, you chop ‘em up in there.”

Bucky inhales deeply through his nose and lets it out in a controlled sigh. “‘Chop’ isn’t the word I would use. I’m a trained surgeon, Honey. I treat their bodies with respect.”

“I think they’d disagree.”

“I harvest almost everything in the OR. Then, yes, the torso or other large remaining cuts get sectioned in here.”

Steve doesn’t seem to like hearing the word ‘Torso’, Bucky notices, and he makes a mental note not to use it around him. “There’s a dumbwaiter here too,” he tells him. “It leads to a separate freezer, which connects to the basement via another hallway.” Bucky can see the cogs turning in Steve’s head as he takes this information in. Steve is planning out every possible escape route he might be able to utilize, in the near future.

Bucky isn’t worried. Steve will come around. He just has to get them through that ‘near future’ without incident.

With the tour concluded, they return to the house and he locks Steve’s wrist at a spot by the couch. There’s a cord so that he’s got enough slack to move around the general area. Bucky gives him the remote control and Steve holds it in his hands like it’s a treasured object. “I can …” he seems to falter, which is adorable to Bucky. “I can watch whatever I want?” he asks meekly.

Bucky smiles. “Yeah, Honey. Go ahead. I’ll be working in the kitchen.”

Steve:

By the time it’s late morning, Steve’s already mentally exhausted.

Bucky’s ‘tour’ hadn’t been graphic or anything. Hell, mostly they’d just walked around the grassy path that runs along the tree line of the surrounding forest. But Bucky had detailed his harvesting process, his mail order service, his history with the whole, morbid affair.

And then there’d been the butchery barn.

That’s what Steve’s calling it in his head, since Bucky’s so god awful insistent that he’s a butcher and not a serial killer. "Bucky the Butcher." It even sounds like the perfect name for a prolific serial killer. Steve would laugh at him about it, but he’s pretty sure that would make Bucky get mad and stick him back in his cell, so he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t even argue. He just nods along to the information Bucky gives him, memorizing the parts that might one day help him out of this hellhole.

It’s kind of hard to remember it’s a hellhole, though, when he’s being treated so nicely. Especially when it’s by the man who was his lover before, the man whom Steve had trusted and liked (a lot. What does that say about him?), the man with whom he’d formed an emotional bond so quickly. Steve hates it, but it’s still there, coloring their every interaction.

The basement isn’t so bad, he thinks. At least when he’s down there, he remembers what he is: a prisoner. Not a boyfriend and certainly not the ‘partner’ that Bucky had described wanting. Steve knows though, he knows his best chance at survival lies in convincing Bucky that he can be the absolute best ‘partner’ ever. Steve thinks he can pretend well enough, maybe even for long enough.

He’s just worried about how much of himself he’s going to lose along the way.

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[dangermousie]

I really loved the first six episodes of AJTL. It feels adult in a way too few cdramas do nowadays. The protagonists are (sometimes sociopathic, weird) adults and the narrative is adult and the humor and darkness are both adult. Now, I don't mean this is some sort of meditation on the human condition like Royal Nirvana or NiF or Three Kingdoms, but the situations and characters are of a nature you wouldn't usually see in youth-oriented stuff nowadays - whether it's the fact that our FL just wants to ML for stud so she can have a baby with good genetics and no family ties or the fact that literally every politician in this is a complete scumbag.

I actually love that our FL isn't just the most terrifying mofo in the narrative full of killers but that she is a bona fide borderline sociopath who has no understanding of boundaries or proper behavior or consent or even any sort of flirtation let alone a deeper feeling. She's been a killer since childhood; what normal does she have? The fact that she's managed to have any sort of emotions left is a miracle.

So her deciding she needs a child because her benefactor told her she should as a dying wish and picking a sperm donor in our ML because he's suitable, all with about as much understanding of relationships as an alien - she doesn't want ML because she fancies him, she doesn't want a child to love. It's basically a weird duty thing. It all makes sense.

It's a wonderful gender reversal, with FL the goal-oriented, robotic psycho and ML going "but wait a minute, feelings, also no way, no how." His realization as to how crazy she is, is something else.

Look how she explains it, as if it's the most logical business transaction - your genetic material is great, you are not married so nobody will be hurt, if you die on this mission you will have someone to carry on your lineage, you are scheming so if a kid takes after you and is scheming, it's good. None of it will seduce a man in the least, let alone anything further. But I think in a way it's a weird mark of respect where she's not trying to lie but put all her cards on the table. But also - it shows how far from normal she is that she doesn't even realize how insane it sounds to anyone. He may be a spy but his life has been pretty different than hers; he's got friends and he had family - he is a fairly functional dude. She doesn't have any relationship, and the closest she had was weird stubs...

Like - she is acting like an alien...

Yeah, I don't think psychotic rose through the ranks assassins are big on consent.

She's bona fide nuts and I love that for once we have an unhinged FL. But one of the things I love so is that you slowly see her melt a little around the edges, if barely, because he keeps treating her as a proper lady however murdery and crazy she gets - she was an assassin and then she was a spy-whore, she's basically never been treated as a proper person instead of a tool, except possibly by the dowager and that was a long time ago. No wonder she gets drawn in - like she did by his decency in that rooftop speech scene. It's such a great reversal!

Like she genuinely doesn't get why he doesn't jump at the offer.

I really do love the ML who'd be the unhinged one in any other drama but here he's the sane one. And also his angry decency is mmmm.

I don't usually have fantasy casts for characters; there are very few exceptions - CGY and LYX for the mains of 2ha, Chen Kun for the ML of Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir, SZE for Prisoner of Beauty (alas), but LYN is on that short list - he's 100% my fan cast for Yuwu's Mo Xi and stuff like this gives me mad MX vibes:

I mean...

Anyway, this drama is awesome!

PS also the way secrets don't get dragged out. ML knows her true identity and we are long moving on to other stuff, hooray!

[brandtner]

As an Eastern Euro yourself how would you make the entire East Euro? (Since you said Himaruya screwed the whole region up). As someone who’s not from the region, my current thought is that if it were up to me there would be less blonds lol. Also: specific opinions on Russia, Ukraine and Belarus?

Yes, yes :D Less blonde I agree.

Russia - for me as a person who lives among them he's just... Too nice? Too well-behaved? Something like that. He needs just a little bit of spice, not too much. I would've also incorporated his sense of humor in some way, because it's a thing that is absolutely unique and IMO Russians have the best sense of humor in the world. And cartoons. Also his lack of organisation and general incompetence in EVERY SPHERE, I never saw that in Hetalia. Only his brutality. Shallow really. It must be there, that's what the Russians are mostly known for. Their main stereotype. He lacks carelessness

Belarus - I do get it. She's cold because of political reasons, only country in Europe to have death penalty... But I wish that she could also be warm. For example, yes, cold in the international arena, but comically warm and jolly among her friends. Belorussians are INSANELY nice and good people, like, I never met anyone on the same level. I absolutely love them and I am forever grateful to God for putting so many in my life. It's a miracle. I don't deserve this lol Also maybe a bit more play with Lithuania and Belarus, how he used to rule her, how she stole his coat of arms (xD), they're just a lot alike (same national bird etc). More spice in their relationship, not just Lithuania having a crush on her, but maybe accusing her of things, etc. Conversing about their love for potatoes. You know, things from everyday life that happen there.

Ukraine - Terrible. First of all, never met a Ukrainian without a tan in my life. They're reasonably positioned in southern Europe, the black sea... They're pretty dark although not all of them but I think it would be awesome if Bel and Russia were so pale and white and Ukraine tan but maybe still with blonde hair. It would contrast nicely. Tits, agreed. Poor gal? I don't think so, Ukrainians are quite strong and DEFINITELY NOT pushovers. What her design lacks are main events of Ukrainian history: Issues with Poland, nazi collaboration. Some edginess to her character. They're a bit nationalistic, but you can't blame them for it since how Russians and Poles treated them. (albeit they weren't exactly goodies either)

Latvia - I wish someone just read latvian history at least once in their lives. Just, one person, please. Hahaha. So basically, making Latvia more weak than Lithuania is a CRIME. At least more morally weak. Latvia had COLONIES, a great fleet, they were influenced with Germans, hence the better the development of his than that of Lithuania who was influenced by Slavs, LATVIA was the ONLY baltic state who fought the Nazis, who defended their country when they occupied them. Lithuania just let them in. He's just incredibly underrated, you can't just base his entire design on how he looks in 21st century. I'm not saying he's supposed to be buff and strong, because he is weaker in terms of military and sovereignty, but making him a woman I think would be very cool? Since the Latvian girls are the tallest in Europe. So making her tough in medieval times then making her weak in modern times would be pretty easy. They're way better than Lithuanians morally and behavior wise. Latvia is more liberal and easy going when it comes to ethnical issues, they don't really care that they're getting assimilated into Russia when Lithuania is really mean about it.

Lithuania - His name doesn't exist. The national clothes he's wearing in his design are incorrect, they look Ukrainian. Hair colour is very on point. Other than that, he has no right to be as nice as portrayed. They're usually mean and very passive aggressive. Terrible sense of humor. They're called the Italians of the North so that would be cool to see, making him the most emotional or in-your-face attitude out of all northerners. It's not good that his love for singing, the entire basis of that country - singing, was never put into spot. I think it should be mainly based off that. More pagan stuff, they had remaining pagans up until the 19th century which is unbelievable, and that religion still exists now, people practice it. Also its a bit hard to speak of it as one country because there's like 5 regions there and people in each one of them differ a lot. Samogitians don't even consider themselves lithuanian.

Hungary is way too nice too. Their politics or history are not nice at all, they have an attitude of an oppressor. She looks too normal, there's not much hungarian about her, give her some special features. Should be made into a duo with Poland since they both call themselves brothers.

Slovakia - should never exist and should never deserve own design and appearance in the series. Die Slovakia

Poland - Gay weak inconsiderate irresponsible annoying and lame. So 100% accurate. Very nice, I agree, good job Hima.

Also it would be cool to see Königsberg in the series!

[nyoxt]

8, 13, 50 for Mutt and 9, 16, 36 for Belrod :D 💛

Mutt: [8] How open they are about their true feelings, both positive and negative?  She's more open with negative ones- if she's annoyed or angry-you will know about it, if not verbally than with body language/expressions. With positive feelings she's pretty much very closed. You'll need to pull those out of her with the tongs. While trying to not get shot or kicked.

[13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any? Mutt has little sense of humor and it's mostly dark/sarcastic. If she jokes she does it with the straightest face and blunt/dry delivery. Surprisingly her most usual “jokes” are pranks- and those used to be quite sadistic/bullying in her younger years- like shooting someone in the foot and laughing at the resulted suffering, but later became less violent. I mean, it's still got a violent flail to it, but it's more of a force of a habit than realized intention. But when her pranks are actually funny- Coyote might bestow upon her some small boons, like a good luck for a short time or a magic buff. [50] What are they really good and really bad at? Mutt is very good with guns, inflicting violence, following orders, decent at planning combat encounters. Can be a pretty good leader, but not enthusiastically. She’s rather bad with magic. She’s been awakened since her teen age, but never seriously worked on her abilities or connected with it much, thinking that guns/rifles are a more reliable way to fight. Aaaand she's especially bad at forming healthy connections with other people- because for the majority of her life she used to stick to the meanest strongest groups she could get into, with strongly reinforced hierarchies on top of that - so forming new relationships which are not grounded within strength or combat experience- is h a r d. And it’s also made harder because Mutt can’t exactly realize the roots of this problem, doesn’t know what help to ask for, and doesn’t want to ask for help because it is something awkward and being awkward is a sign of weakness and being weak will get you to the bottom of the food chain-> the cycle continues Belrod: [9] What is their love language?  Gifts- he looooves to bring people his favorite ppl things they want/like; actions of service; words of affection. Many many words of affection. Screams of affections even- if he befriends you he might scream from the rooftops how awesome and cool you are and how much he loves you. Literally, like, climbing on some roof and screaming. [16] Do they easily rely on others to help them out, or prefer doing everything themselves? Bel was always a perfect team player, he’s very good at finding his place and use in a team. And growing up with a rather big family+a huge extended family and in a tightly knit community- he knows when and how and who to ask for help and how to rely on others! His challenge during Origins+Awakening was actually in learning to do things alone sometimes and make important decisions by himself. [36] Do they own items that have sentimental value? -The boots his mother made him. He couldn't walk in them for the long travels because they were a bit too tight, but they were always in his backpack. Bel gifted them to Morrigan when she said she likes the embroidery on the boots. Because he thinks that things are the happiest when used for their purpose, and will bring more luck this way than when buried in the bag.

-his mother's tiny knife. It's not very useful in serious combat, but it's easy to conceal and is great for surprise stabbings. He hates when people insult its size/usefulness, and threatens to “put it in your eye and see how funny this “toothpick” will look up close”.

-Alistair's rose. Bel keeps it dried between the pages of his journal.

-"Fang" dagger. Bel finds blade's shape hard to get used to, but it belonged to his mother, so he loves and cherishes it. 

As you can see- he loves his mom a lot.

[r0s3s26]

hello! i would like to request a MHA matchup if possible<3

name: anne

pronouns: she/her

romantic or platonic matchup: romantic!

gender preference: none, i don't mind:>

ideal first date: going for a walk and grabbing some fast food, hopefully stopping by a bookshop or a cute cafe

personality: i'm an introvert and i like my alone time a lot, my social battery dies very quickly. i can be a bit shy at first, but only at first, i usually get comfortable very easily. i joke around a lot and have a pretty dark sense of humor. i'm quite sarcastic. i'm honest and outspoken, i usually first act and think later. i get attached easily. i overthink a lot. i get emotional very quickly, it's easy to make me angry but also easy to make me cry. i always plan things in advance. i'm stressed 24/7. always worried about future and pretty insecure

likes: animals (i have two cats and a dog), books, food that's especially sweet, the color blue, cartoons, plushies, sleeping

dislikes: parties, crowded places, loud noises, snakes, darkness, people who are unnecessarily mean, heights

perfect partner: someone who is fun to be around, would respect my boundaries, someone who wouldn't mind staying in instead of going out, someone protective who would make me feel special ✨

hobbies: listening to music, writing, reading books/mangas, learning languages

appearance: green eyes, medium length brown hair which i dye a lot, round face, 6 ear piercings, arm tattoo, tall (175 cm or so)

hopefully this is okay, sorry if it's too long or wrong:( take your time and have a nice day/night!! :3

@isadollie Your Match is…Shota Aizawa

<3 This grumpy man

<3 If you guys were to be in a relationship it would mainly be you trying to get Aizawa to get out more into the sun (like please touch grass)

<3 BUT he also loves staying in, ordering take out, and cuddling up on the couch while watching a movie

<3 He works with 1-A so he has an godly amount of patience for anything, and if your his partner it has absolutely doubled

<3 He thinks your tattoo and piercings make you look badass, but he would never say that outloud

<3 And also because he is the teacher of 1-A he already is protective of everyone, so you would never have to fear of being in danger, cause he fixed the problem before you even got there

<3 If you ever made a semi dark joke to him he would look at you like this

(he looks so fine in this picture oh my lord😍😍)

<3 Yall have so many cats

<3 Eri probably really likes you, and likes having a maternal figure in her house (dadzawa needed help BAD)

<3 On a more angsty note…

<3 He is very good at telling when something isn’t right with you

<3 Very observant

<3 Like if your having a bad day and everything is just bottling up inside of you and you lash out, he would let you, and then once you have calmed down he would just pull you into a hug, kiss the top of your head and say “i'm right here, you can let it out”

<3 BAWLING

<3 Ok back to happy

<3 So basically I feel like Aizawa is funny as fuck but like secretly, only you and Hazashi know that he is super funny.

<3 Date idea: Playing soft lofi or jazz while reading together in his arms

<3 EEEKKKKKKK

<3 Just so much domestic fluff

<3 Last thing is because you both have longish hair, you absolutely do matching hairstyles, like that half up half down

<3 Ok now to drabble

You sit there with one of your many cats on the couch, your scrolling through movies to watch with as you wait for your boyfriend to get back from patrol. On the coffee table you have taken out from his favorite restaurant, it's basically a buffet at this point knowing the pro hero will be hungry. There is a knock at the door alerting you that Aizawa is back, you softly place “mittens the cat” on the couch, not to disturb his slumber. You walk to the entrance and see your boyfriend taking his shoes and pro hero gear off, “Hi Shota” you say while softly walking up to him and wrapping your arms around his front “Hi honey” he says back. For a moment you just stare at each other softly until he leans in kissing you as softly as his gaze, you kiss back slowly wrapping your arms around his neck, raking your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp. You tug him closer by the back of his head to kiss him deeper, showing how much you have missed his body slotted next to yours. Aizawa pulls away and pecks your nose, “I missed you too anne”.

(Authors note: I'm sorry I lowkey got carried away at the end, but I hope you like it)

[hopeymchope]

Do you think you can help me out? I don't understand why everyone loves Ibuki so much. I mean, I don't want to hate her, but the one thing I don't like is her music. It's been bothering me ever since I learned that she's a fan favorite, I want to know if anyone doesn't like Ibuki because of her music. I get that her popularity has to do with her jokes and fashion, but some of it feels like dark humor to me. You can read my blog for more info if you want (some of it doesn't make sense though).

I don't think anyone likes Ibuki's music aside from Hiyoko, lol. (Unless, of course, you're talking about that amazing fan recording of what "I Squeezed Out the Baby But I Have No Idea Who the Father Is" could sound like, which I would say is an absolute jam.) Just look at everyone else's reaction to it in-game! So you're definitely not alone in such an opinion; I'd be stunned to learn if ANY fans legitimately liked her in-game/in-anime music, actually. I always thought the whole POINT was that it's supposed to sound like a cacophony of garbage. But having some crap musical preferences isn't usually enough to hate OR love somebody, y'know? Whether they're real OR fictional.

(But please, y'all: If any of you legitimately love — or, like @dangan-kagura, totally hate — Ibuki for her.... eccentric musical style, I'd love to hear about that. I want to know you exist!)

But ultimately, I think Ibuki is beloved by the DR fanbase because of three main reasons:

A) Yes, she's funny and cartoonishly positive and speaks in the third person, but she also runs deeper/smarter than she usually acts. We do tend to really dig characters with layers to them that run deeper than our first superficial impression.

B) We also love someone who is relentlessly individualistic and shows no signs of caring what other people think of her. There's an admirable quality to her, particularly in how she's pursuing her music when we meet her.

C) A character with queer undertones (overtones?) is always a character that fandoms will gravitate towards.

Let me go a little more in-depth on those points.

Regarding point A: Obviously, Ibuki acts like a goofball a lot of the time, which can be endearing. But she also surprisingly pulls her weight in the class trials by catching others in lies, pressing people for answers, reporting on exactly what sounds/voices came from where at what points during Chapter 1's murder, and so on. She can be quite insightful — remember that in DR3's Despair Arc, she's the only person in Class 77-B who points out that there's something between Fuyuhiko and Peko — that they're clearly closer than they pretend to be. All of the above speaks to how lowkey observant she is, which supports how she can drop some legit wisdom, such as her mini-speech about "finding oneself" during her final FTE in Island Mode.

Regarding point B: As we gradually learn her background in-game from various conversations and FTEs, we find that she once wrote and co-performed a song with her Light Music Club that became a top-charting single. That fact combined with her incredible guitar skills helped her get scouted by Hope's Peak as the "Ultimate Musician." Even so, she ditched her club and quit pop music so she could make the heavier, harder music SHE wanted to make. And... it's not exactly being well-received, but she doesn't seem to give a damn. She left behind the easy route to praise and loads of cash so she could maintain her artistic integrity and do what she's passionate about and loves doing. That's easy to admire.

Regarding point C: At the end of Island Mode, if the player/Hajime suggests they could now be "lovers," she rejects that notion with a strong "DENIED!" Plus she talks about her heart pounding hard when she sees the other girls in their swimsuits. And there's her request for Mahiru to take picutres of Mikan in compromising positions when poor Tsumiki falls in Chapter 1. And, y'know... the infamous "Welcome to the world of girl love!" quote. All this together has made her be popularly believed to be gay or at least bi/pansexual, and characters with those kinds of hints just always get a lot of love from fans. Geeks do love their slash.

I hope this helped you understand why people are fond of her — including myself. I'd probably put her anywhere from tier 1 to tier 3 of my favorite characters, depending on the day. She's not a lock for the top level by any means, but I'm still a fan and enjoy her presence.

[the-badger-mole]

What are some interesting little individual quirks you headcanon the Gaang to have? And what about stuff that the couples might find endearing about their partner (or even annoying sometimes?)

What are some interesting little individual quirks you headcanon the Gaang to have?

Starting with my most to least favorites:

Katara: She hums to herself when she's working or focusing on something. Usually just softly under her breath. She doesn't do it consciously most of the time, but sometimes she makes up songs about whatever task or problem she's working on. She's actually a pretty good singer, too.

Zuko: He is a leg jiggler. When he is in a heightened emotional state, like if he's anxious or excited or nervous, he jiggles his leg. He learns to keep stoic when something is affecting him, but one thing he can never quite get a handle on is his jiggle leg.

Sokka: He cannot keep his feelings to himself. If he's happy, he's happy dance happy, if he's annoyed, he has a hair pin trigger, if he's mildly inconvenienced, it's the worst thing in the world to ever happen. The only emotion he's not overly loud or expressive of is anger. He can be...scary when he's really angry.

Toph: She likes flowers. It's something she mostly keeps to herself when she's younger because she thinks it's embarrassingly girly, but she likes flowers because it's something that sighted people can enjoy that she can, too. She'll never be able to appreciate the vibrant colors or shapes of the flowers, but she loves the smells they give off. Her favorite flower is the lilac (or whatever the in-universe hybrid would be) because the scent is so strong.

Suki: She has a very dark sense of humor. Not in a mean way, but she jokes about things that most people don't find particularly funny. Death, battle, war, crying babies, etc. It's always obvious that she's joking, though.

Aang: He likes coming up with weird food combinations (along the lines of chocolate on french fries). He doesn't cook, but he's always combining things that don't go together. A lot of the times it's an inedible mess that only he can consume (like the time he put pickle brine on a custard tart), but sometimes he comes up with a truly inspired combination (like chili spiced sesame oil on fruit).

And what about stuff that the couples might find endearing about their partner (or even annoying sometimes?)

I only ship Zutara and Sukka, so here goes

Katara: Loves the way Zuko seeks out physical affection when they're alone. He can get under foot in a way that a lot of other people would find annoying (sniffing her neck when she's sewing, wrapping his arms around her waist when she's cooking), but he backs off with no issue in the rare instances when she wants/needs space.

She finds it a bit less endearing that he likes to play in her hair when he wakes up in the morning. At sunrise. A couple of hours before Katara even wants to think about getting out of bed.

Zuko: He loves when Katara hums when she works. Sometimes, if he knows the song, he'll hum along with her, or he'll make lyric suggestions to her made up songs.

He is not a fan of her habit of saving little odds and ends, like chipped tea cups or empty containers that can be upcycled. She keeps them neat and organized, but they take up unnecessary space, and she almost never actually gets around to finding new purposes for those things.

Suki: She loves how expressive he is when he's happy. She finds his good moods contagious and it's impossible for her to be grumpy when he is in a good mood.

She hates how sloppy he can be. He cleans, but only on his schedule, and in between, he'll leave discarded clothes and plates lying around. He won't leave spills or mud, but Suki has tripped over his shoes one too many times.

Sokka: Loves the way Suki says whatever's on her mind. He thinks they have the same sense of humor (they don't, but they find each other funny).

He hates the way she jumps into drill sergeant mode when she's impatient. When she loses her temper about him leaving something around, she talks to him like one of her soldiers. It is a bigger issue at the start of their relationship, but they learn to do better with each other and it's less of a problem as time goes on.

[sofarfarout]

Duke Allogor is one of the last members of the Great House Majesty, one of the old unicorn houses of Equestria, as well as a direct descendent of Majesty herself. However, his family's power waned following Celestia assuming the throne and disappeared almost completely following Twilight's ascension. A powerful sorcerer and noble, he is desperate to cling to his family's power and control and put House Majesty and all of unicornkind at the top.

That's the tldr but if you want the full bio it's below

Character’s full name: Great Duke Allogor Notoria

Reason or meaning of name: Allogor is derived from the demon Alloces, a Duke of Hell, specifically the name used for him in the Liber Officiorum Spirituum. His powers and, to a lesser extent his appearance, are referenced from his depiction in the Ars Goetia. Notoria comes from the Ars Notoria, one of the five books of the Lesser Key of Solomon.

Character’s nickname: Hunter

Reason for nickname: When he was born, his parents saw his white face against his black coat and believed it resembled the Hunter's Moon, a full moon in the month of October

Birth date: October 17th

Physical appearance

Age: 37

How old does he/she appear: 34-37

Height: 12.5hh

Body build: slim, graceful and thin

Shape of face: angular and thin, straight profile

Eye color: peachy orange

Glasses or contacts: n/a

Coat color: black that fades into aubergine at the feathering with a milk white face

Distinguishing marks: a fully white face(bald face)

Mane color: ivory

Type of hair: soft, untamed and wispy

Hairstyle: loose and wavy, has a difficult time managing his mane so he takes what he can get

Voice: Jeremy Irons

Overall attractiveness: considered very handsome in a classical way, the sort of beauty you'd appreciate more in a painting than in person

Physical disabilities: n/a

Usual fashion of dress: refined, ornate formalwear

Jewelry or accessories: many different golden broaches, amulets, earrings, chains and bridles

Personality

Good personality traits: charismatic, captivating, suave, cultured, scholarly, organized, intelligent, sensitive, patient, articulate

Bad personality traits: self righteous, arrogant, perfectionist, haughty, paranoid, manipulative

Mood character is most often in: distant calm

Sense of humor: dark and crude, tries to conceal this fact

Character’s greatest joy in life: studying astronomy and conjuring

Character’s greatest fear: losing control and all his family has strived for

Why? He feels it would render all he went through and his life as a whole a waste. It would mean that he was pushed and pushed for nothing.

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? The complete erasure of his family's presence and history

Character is most at ease when: secluded in his study going over his grimoire

Most ill at ease when: he is at the mercy of another

Enraged when: his authority and power is called into question/he feels his family is disrespected

Depressed or sad when: doubting his ability to restore his family's glory

If granted one wish, it would be: total dominion over Equestria

Why? He believes assuming the throne would fulfill not only his family's desire for their power restored but also himself. He would succeed in his birthright and bring the Great House of Majesty and unicorns back to the forefront of Equestria.

Character’s soft spot: birds, especially falcons

Is this soft spot obvious to others? No, between his studies and social obligations as a noble he doesn't really have the time to engage and share this interest

Greatest strength: incredible magical abilities, extremely powerful magician

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: massive control freak

Biggest regret: not asking his mother more questions

Minor regret: not pursuing falconry

Biggest accomplishment: finally controlling his magic to a point where it's extremely focused, doesn't have a typical aura because his magic is so concentrated and powerful

Minor accomplishment: making his mother smile with a painting of her when he was very young, he didn't often see her smile and even if it was fake, she still put on that facade for him

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: he had unusual difficulty focusing his magic as a young colt and it often manifested in powerful outbursts, with one such outburst scorching his first grimoire, his father was not happy to have to have another copy made

Why? He can't accept failure, especially in regards to magic, no matter how insignificant it may seem. He wants to maintain an image of perfection and composure. Any weakness could be used to take that control away.

Goals

Drives and motivations: lingering pressure from his family to restore glory to their house and all unicorns as well as an individual lust for power and control

Immediate goals: manipulate the unicorn nobles of Equestria and get their support

Long term goals: dominion over Equestria

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: using his social influence and power to bring the upper class unicorns under him and lead the revolution into a unicorn golden age, if he can avoid using raw magical force along the way that would be ideal but he's not opposed to resorting to exercising his arcane prowess

How other characters will be affected: earth ponies and pegasi would become second class citizens, unicorns would be the ruling class, nonponies would be exiled

Past

Home: Notoria Manor

Type of childhood: lavish but tense, felt as if he was always on eggshells around his father and has little to say about his mother

Pets: n/a

Most important childhood memory: being given his first grimoire by his father

Why: it was a coming of age moment for him and signified the start of him becoming a proper young lord, it was a moment of trust and genuine pride from his father

Childhood hero: his father/Abracadabra the Enlightened

Dream job: arcane researcher and spellcrafter

Education: homeschooled, had an array of tutors and teachers hand picked by his father and was taught magic by his father personally

Religion: n/a

Finances: extremely wealthy, old money hoarded through countless generations since the dawn of Equestria

Present

Current location: Notoria Manor

Currently living with: a handful of servants

Pets: n/a

Religion: non-denominational and non practicing Helioist, worships Celestia as a goddess but does not associate with any specific group or attend a church

Occupation: nobleman

Finances: still extremely wealthy

Family

Mother: Princess Estelle Notoria

Relationship with her: distant, was arranged to marry his father and still questions if she loved him or his father at all or was she merely fulfilling her duty

Father: King Balam Notoria

Relationship with him: feared him as much as he admired him, was extremely proud of his son or rather what he wanted his son to be, referred to his son as "the shining star that will call unicorns to their throne"

Favorites

Color: wine red

Least favorite color: Robin's egg blue

Music: not a fan of music, makes it difficult to hear his thoughts

Food: pineapple upside down cake

Literature: Evocation and the Behavior of Beasts by Abracadabra the Enlightened

Form of entertainment: dance and theatre

Most prized possession: his grimoire

Habits

Hobbies: observing the stars, writing, reading, painting

Plays a musical instrument? No

Plays a sport? No

Spending habits: not afraid to splurge, he's royalty he deserves it

Smokes: no

Drinks: socially

Other drugs: nope

What does he/she do too much of? Sitting in his home studying

What does he/she do too little of? Going out for leisure, every time he goes to a gala or party it's with an ulterior motive and he doesn't seem to just enjoy himself often

Extremely skilled at: magic, especially conjuration

Extremely unskilled at: sports

Nervous tics: twirling his mane, talking to himself

Usual body posture: proud and proper

Mannerisms: reserved but refined, has some antiquated etiquette but is very polite

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Pessimist

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

Daredevil or cautious? Cautious

Logical or emotional? Emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical

Prefers working or relaxing? Relaxing

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident on the surface but doubt boils deep below

Animal lover? Yes

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: feels he's the model unicorn, a gentleman incarnate and a natural born leader

One word the character would use to describe self: "Refined"

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? His charisma

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? His sensitivity

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? His long legs

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? His untameable mane

How does the character think others perceive him/her: an enigmatic leader and great sorcerer

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: would like to eliminate any perceived weaknesses in himself, namely his sensitivity and neuroticism

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: thinks little of earth ponies and pegasi and even less of nonponies

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Yes, it's not usually socially acceptable to be a racist.

Person character most hates: Twilight Sparkle, believes her to be the final nail in the coffin that dragged his family to obscurity and though she's long dead, the fact her staunch beliefs in unification and equality still persist is a threat to him

Best friend(s): his servant Ravenskye, has known him since he was a child and depends on him for companionship and trust

Love interest(s): n/a

Person character goes to for advice: Ravenskye

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: the unicorns of Equestria, treats his people well and will be quick to aid a fellow unicorn in need

Person character openly admires:  Abracadabra the Enlightened, the first great magician of Equestria

Person character secretly admires: Starswirl the Bearded, finds his advancements in the arcane endlessly fascinating despite disagreeing with his beliefs

[persephoneflowerpetals]

I was tagged by @enchantedchocolatebars to do this little OC questionnaire thingy so let’s go!

do they have allergies?

Nope, Persephone is a goddess so she doesn’t get sick or have allergies or anything like that. There are things that may not agree with her, like in the Driving Test episode of Hercules the Animated Series Hades mentioned that nectar and ambrosia give him gas (I believe in an earlier episode he drank a glass of “nectar flambé” and burped a huge flame lol, so I guess it’s true). I like to think that maybe Persephone is lactose intolerant (because I’m actually lactose intolerant despite my love of dairy lmaooo and Persephone is a self insert OC), so when she eats a lot of ice cream (she loves ice cream btw lol) or cheese she gets a belly ache or gets gas like Hades lmao, but yeah lol. No allergies.

what foods will they not touch?

In a somewhat recent ask someone asked Persephone about what vegetables she likes to eat, so I guess to answer that I’d say most vegetables lmao.

what kinds of music do they like?

I’d say (in the modern age of course lol) that Persephone’s very into pop music and music from the 70s and 80s. Her favorite artists would be Sofia, Madonna, ABBA, and One Direction. Just very girly pop music lol. In fact I have a playlist of songs I think she’d have on her personal playlist lol (I was gonna save this for a post featuring all my Hercules playlists but hey might as a give a sneak peek lol!)

how are they around new people?

Persephone is pretty introverted and shy. She always has been since she was a kid (mainly because her mother was very strict, especially when it came to her making friends), but she does enjoy making new friends. She’s generally very nice and polite towards new people. She doesn’t usually go out of her way to introduce herself to them first or anything.

do they speak in an accent?

Nope. Just like most of the characters in Hercules, she has a general American accent.

have they tried learning a new language?

I mean, not really? She was taught to speak Greek and Italian when she was growing up (because she’s a Greek and Roman goddess), but that’s about it.

how many languages do they know?

Just 3. English, Greek, and Italian.

what is a song that will always make them cry?

Oh, man. That’s good question lol. Uhhh…probably Home by Michael Bublé (that song makes me cry irl lol). Oh and also I’ve Been Waiting For You from Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again (legit makes me cry every time I hear it and I don’t even have a baby lmao)

how do they cry? heaving? silently? sobbing?

Depends on the situation and who she’s around. She’s pretty socially anxious and self conscious so if she’s around people she doesn’t know very well she’ll cry silently, trying not to be too loud or full out sob. However, if she’s around people she knows and trusts (like her husband, mom, or friends) she’ll straight up sob. But yeah, how much she cries depends on the situation.

how do they dress? for practicality or fashion?

Well, how she dresses depends on the au lol. But I suppose in the main universe she’s in (the movie/series au) Persephone dresses in traditional attire for Ancient Greece. She mainly dresses for practicality, but sometimes she’ll dress for fashion. Like, her regular attire (her pastel violet dress) is more modest and flowing while her underworld attire (her black dress) is more snug on her body and shows more cleavage (mainly due to Hades’ influence lol).

what is the first thing they notice about a stranger?

Usually, their attitude and personality. If it seems like someone she wouldn’t get along with (like Hades before they fell in love lol) she steers clear of them.

what is their humour like?

She’s got a pretty goofy sense of humor. She likes silly, nonsensical things, like memes and shitposts lol. She isn’t a huge fan of dark humor (unlike her husband), but she’s cracked a dark humored joke once or twice that’s put Hades in stitches lol.

do they have scars? what caused them?

Nope. I headcanon that in the Disney Hercules universe that gods can’t get severely injured (since they’re immortal and can’t die), but they can get kinda hurt and feel pain. Like, if they bump their head on something it’ll hurt or if Zeus throws his lightning bolts at someone lol.

do they wear jewelry?

Nah, Persephone’s not a jewelry type of goddess. She prefers to be more flashy with her clothes than her accessories lol. Also, she doesn’t have her ears pierced (she isn’t a fan of pointy objects being inserted into her skin). In a modern AU she’d probably wear a little bit of jewelry like a wedding ring/engagement ring or a fancy necklace Hades would’ve bought her as a gift lol.

are they a frivolous spender or a miser?

Persephone definitely likes to save her pennies (or drachmas in this case lol). She gets most of her offerings during spring (and she only gets an okay amount of offerings during the “off seasons”), so she tries to make sure not to spend too much money since she’ll need most of it to last until next spring. Of course, she’s not a cheapskate either and doesn’t try to haggle with people to get a lower price on things, she’s just a conscious buyer (much like her husband, though I like to think he probably has more money than she does for many reasons).

do they prefer luxury or practicality?

As I mentioned before, Persephone isn’t much of a big spender, so she’s more for practicality than luxury. Though, she does indulge in her fair share of luxury (since she used to live on Olympus and her husband loves to spoil her), so she’s doesn’t mind luxury.

who would they quote?

Idk lol. In the modern day she’d probably quote a lot of songs, tv shows, movies, and memes lol. But for Ancient Greece, probably some philosopher or writer like Homer or something.

what could make them change their mind?

Well, that depends on the situation. A lot of things could change her mind tbh. She’s a very thoughtful person and tries to take everything into account when making decisions.

who is the first person they'd call?

Before she met Hades it was always her mother, but after marrying Hades she ALWAYS calls on him lol. He’s basically always prepared for any situation and will always have his wifey’s back lmao.

how are they around animals? do they have pets?

Persephone LOVES animals (especially since her best friend is the goddess of the wild lol)! I suppose if you count Cerberus after she marries Hades, then yeah she totally has a pet lol. There’s also Thallo (a unicorn she spends a lot of time with when she’s working in the spring) but she’s more of an animal companion than a pet. Thallo does her own thing and isn’t owned by Persephone or anything. She lives out in the wild with the other animals. Though, she does become a little more domesticated after Thallo meets Pegasus and decides to stay with Hercules and Meg to be with him lol (she also grows a liking towards Meg too lol).

what is their favourite childhood food?

Tiropita

what is something they've never told anyone?

She would secretly love to rule by Hades’ side on Mount Olympus if he ever successfully took over. She’d feel very guilty, but deep down she’d secretly love being the queen of the cosmos.

childhood friends?

Artemis and Apollo

what are habits they've picked up from other people?

Demeter can be a bit of a perfectionist sometimes, so she’s picked that up from her mother, but after marry Hades, Persephone picked up a lot of his habits. She eats odd things like bugs and worms and she uses bits of Yiddish in her vocabulary sometimes.

what are their guilty pleasures?

She LOVES sweets and has a huge sweet tooth, but tries not to overindulge. However, her favorite guilty pleasure is chocolate. Another guilty pleasure of hers is that she likes sappy romance stories/movies. She’s a total romantic lol. And as I mentioned before, she loves cheesy and girly pop music by boy bands and stuff like that.

what is something they're staunchly against?

Murder and cheating (romantically). She also is against the obviously awful stuff like incest, pedophilia, and that kind of stuff too because I mean, who WOULD stand for that kind of stuff?

do they speak a certain way? do they use contractions? popular turns of phrase?

Not really. She speaks pretty politely to people. Sometimes she’ll say little funny exclamations like “aw petals!” or “holy hades!” or “oh my gods!” but that’s about it lol

can they fall in love? what does it look like? does it differ between people -- friends vs family?

….yes 😏 LOL I mean she’s crazy in love with Hades, so y’know lol. But yeah, she has lots of ways to show her love, emotionally, physically, verbally. She loves to kiss and cuddle Hades and doesn’t mind pda at all (but if Hades starts trying to get all “hot and heavy” then she’ll get all flustered and embarrassed lol). She also loves to hold his hand or his arm when they go out together. She also just compliments him a lot reminding him how handsome he is and how lucky she is to be his (when in reality he feels lucky to even be in her presence let alone be married to her) and that she’ll ALWAYS be his. 🥰 As for platonic/familial love, it’s rather normal I guess. Her family drives her crazy, but they’re her family and she still loves them no matter what. She’s also more casual and laid back (just kinda being herself than keeping up the “poised, sweet goddess” personality) around the people she’s close to and trusts wholeheartedly.

what would they rather die than do?

Well, she’s immortal, so she can’t die unless she somehow turns mortal (maybe be by a special little pink potion lol). Anyways, she’d rather die than do anything to harm an innocent. Whether it’s a mortal, an animal, or even a plant. She’d never want to hurt someone or something innocent.

what is their biggest mistake? one that they look out to never do again.

Man, that’s a hard one lol. I guess maybe not sticking up for herself? Like, before meeting Hades she used to let people walk all over her, but now she’s a little more assertive and knows how to say “no” lol. Or maybe letting a loved one get hurt? She doesn’t want to see anything happen to those she loves, so she makes sure she can prevent when she can. But, that’s really all I can think of lol. Persephone’s pretty harmless, so I don’t imagine her doing anything to horrible that she’d never want to do again.

[omnidemidisaster]

Not a request but honestly I just love Roy's parents x Kevin-

Carmen x Kevin/Macabon fluff

Oh yeah before anyone goes cArMeN iS cHeAtInG....Richard's in on it too. When I mean Roy's parents x Kevin, I mean both of em.

"Sweets"

It was...very quiet. Kevin tapped his fingers against the counter. He debated just taking a nap...but then again he actually needed food to eat. Besides, his shift ended in like...3 hours? Surly he could wait.

The small bells above the door jingled. He looked up with a sleep expression to greet them, just to see a familiar face.

"Hmph, ain't you a night owl?"

Kevin snickered at the woman's statement.

"Well good evening to you too, Carmen"

Carmen would look away with a look of annoyance, though Kevin knew it was just a face and not her actual feelings.

"Here again to buy 2 of everything again?" He teased, just to get flicked in the forehead by her. It did hurt a bit cause of her nails, but it didn't hurt that bad.

The flick made him chuckle.

"Actually, I came to get something for myself" She said. She then looked at Kevin, her look of annoyance faded a bit as there wasn't really anyone to witness her.

"Do you have any recommendations?"

Kevin would think about it. He didn't know what kind of candy she would like. Sure, he has been seeing Carmen for a while now, but he hadn't seen her eat sweets that much. And did he ask Richard what she liked? Nope cause he forgot.

"Well..What do you usually like?"

Carmen would approach the counter with a shrug. "I don't know. I dont eat sweets that much" she mumbled.

Shit...now what should he say? Maybe something sweet but not overly sweet? Kevin would hum in thought before getting an idea. He walked to a small display shelf and took a few bags and boxes of candy off the shelf. Carmen watched in curiosity.

He put down the candy on the counter. It was mainly dark chocolate and more bitter sweets. Carmen read the labels and gave him a glare.

"Are you trying to say something?"

Kevin laughed a bit before shaking his head.

"Oh no no! I was just thinking...if you don't eat them much, maybe something not so sweet is up your alley? Just take a taste, hm?"

Carmen looked back down at the candy. She debated about opening them...She didn't really want to get Kevin in trouble. Kevin sensed the debate in her head, so he ended up just paying for them with his money on the spot.

Carmen watched with shock. She didn't want him to pay for them for her...She could have done that herself! But still...

Kevin pushed them to her with a look of encouragement. She would hesitate, then open them up and took a taste of them. Kevin saw as her face lit up.

"Damn! These are really good!" She prasied, taking another bite of the candy. Kevin smiled at her enjoyment of the candy.

"I'm going to assume you like them?" He teased. She nodded, not really wanting to take a jab at him with candy in her mouth.

She would quickly reach in her wallet and handed him some money. She knew he already paid for her, but she felt like she had to say thanks.

Kevin rejected the money.

"Its fine. I don't need it" He reassured.

Carmen insisted and nearly put the money directly in his hand. Kevin couldn't help but just laugh at her insistence.

"Just take it! Take it!" She insisted.

Kevin just decided to take the money just to humor her, besides he did need the money, but he didn't just wanna seem greedy.

Carmen smiled in triumph once she saw him take the money. She heard a car horn outside. She looked over at the sound, realizing Richard was outside. He must have went to pick her up.

"Ah..I gotta go. Thanks for the candy again"

Kevin nodded with a smile.

Carmen put her candy in her purse. She quickly looked around to see if anyone was coming by the store. Then she leaned over the counter to kiss Kevin on his lips, leaving a pink lipstick mark on his lips.

Kevin was a bit taken aback. Carmen isn't normally comfortable with PDA, but maybe it was just because no one was in the store. Kevin had a pretty goofy smile on her face. Carmen giggled at his smile.

"I'll see you Saturday?" She asked.

He nodded with a "mhm...", making her laugh.

"Affirmative! See you then, Kev!"

"Tell Richard I said hi and I'll see him then.." He mumbled.

She giggled with a wave as she left and got into the car.

Kevin was glad he didn't take a nap like he was planning on. Cause how else was he going to get a kiss from such a pretty woman and to make her, and possibly Richard's, night a little bit better.

[hazbean-hotel-imagines]

Okay okay, its been a while since I requested a matchup so sorry if i forget something! I dont mind both helluva and hazbin, i like both <3

Online I go by Dead or just D, I am not comfortable with my irl name and am still trying to figure it out

My pronouns are they/she, I'm still trying to find the right label for what I'm into though. I like everybody to sum it up tho!

I'm an INFP-t

I really like cats (I've got six), the colors blue and black, skeletons, cards/dice (i have some cool jewelry with card symbols n stuff) drawing, reading/writing and watching cartoons.

I've got diagnosed with ADD/ADHD though I'm more tired than hyper, but if you get me talking about something im interested in I could talk your ear off

I try really hard to be consious of how other people feel so I tend to back up if I can tell someone isn't enjoying the conversation/what we're doing. I also really try hard to include others in what I'm currently blabbing about by asking them questions 'cause I know what it's like to not have a say in a convo.

In terms of my appearence, I'm afab, and I'm sadly well endowed, it causes me some back issues. But on the bright side they make good pillows for friends!!

I've got short blonde hair that i dye black and i tend to wear loose clothes that are a few sizes too big. I usually tend to wear all black non gendered clothes (I'm goth) and if i feel like getting dolled up I'll wear a dress and accessories!

I need glasses cause my long distance sight is shit 💀💀💀

In terms of humor? I like making dirty jokes or dark jokes. Like, my fave dark joke is "my grandfather told me i was too reliant on technology. So i called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support"

But yeah!! Thanks for taking the time to read this <3

Matchup

I pair you with…

~ Hi Dead! Omg so I had these done two days ago, then I looked up what a charcuterie board was out of curiosity… bro it was completely finished, I didn’t save it as a draft, and lost my progress because I. Wanted to look. At pictures of charcuterie boards. Anyway I like charcuterie boards 🤭

~ Okay! So Blitzo was first that came to mind when I read about you. Firstly, y’all give off the extrovert adopts introvert trope. Except, it’s more like vague kidnapping than adopting. One meeting and you’re friends for life, no exceptions.

~ Blitzo’s favourite quality in a partner is someone who enjoys his sense of humour. This is a little bit because of his past in the circus. He not only loved that you understand and laugh at his jokes, but when you add on to them!

~He’s awful at communicating. The way you listen and genuinely show an effort in gaging his mood and engagement really means a lot to him, he notices. Blitzo works really well with someone who is patient and good at communication, because he’s lacking in that department, and you help him learn.

I pair you with…

~ This is another extrovert adopts introvert, but much less extreme. Asmodeus is interested in you, and he finds excuses and ways to see you again. If he notices the same interest is reciprocated, he’ll slowly integrate himself into your life and become a constant.

~ Loves listening to people talk. Will let you talk his ear off about your interests, and will never lose focus. Is completely invested from start to finish. Will literally sit there smiling with his heads in his hands kicking his feet.

~ Additionally, he digs that you’re so attentive in conversations. Asmodeus has a tendency to let himself become a listener when he’s in romantic relationships, mostly because he just genuinely enjoys listening to his partners speak and is such an invested listener. It’s a welcome change of pace that you’re constantly ensuring it’s a back and forth conversation, and how conscious you are of his feelings and attention. He reciprocates these efforts tenfold.

~ Super domestic. Will watch cartoons with you in a blanket pile on the couch for hours. Favourite thing is to make unique charcuterie boards and start a show together. This prompted me to go and look at pictures of fucking cheese last time.

~ Can be content with just admiring you while you draw.

~ Loves your sense of humour. Especially loves when he says something dirty to flirt, and you clap back with something super dark. It always catches him off guard, and it takes a lot to leave him speechless. He adores it.

I pair you with…

~ Loves your aesthetic.

~ “Omg I have a goth partner” type beat.

~ Unsure the trope of you guys meeting, but I had ideas for your relationship dynamic. Cherri uses you to recharge her social battery. After a long day, all she wants to do is come home to you and just rest. She’ll definitely text often throughout the day, but when she comes home she always beelines to the couch to make a next of pillows and blankets so you can watch cartoons together.

~ The ultimate cat sitter. Immediately once she hears you have cats she’s at your place. Is she with you for you or the cats? No one knows. It’s you. Don’t be surprised if you come home one day, and she’s just… there, with your cats.

~ If she finds cool jewelry that reminds her of you she’ll send you a selfie holding it next to her head, with a “?” text following to see if you want it. Sometimes it’ll be from cool little shops, but sometimes you can see the wreckage of a turf war in the background and you know she’s just looting people.

~ You both have the same sense of humour, it’s like you guys mesh so well. I imagine conversations between you go so well, you’re super excitable and somehow always find something to talk about. Every day is exciting.

Alternate pairing…

Charlie

[trashyslashers]

Hello! Could I get a match-up? My name is Salem, and I would prefer a slasher if I could! I'm a She/Her bisexual (i have no preference on gender). I'm very tall (6'1) and I have fluffy dark brown curly hair that is usually a longer style pixie cut. Basically physically i am the big tiddy goth gf stereotype. I dress very alternative, mostly black with graphic movie tees. And obviously you have to have the eyeliner haha.

My personality is very reserved with people I don't know, but I try to be friendly with everyone I meet although many times i am suspicious of people as well. I am very sarcastic (and I dare say dirty minded) at times, and I love making jokes and seeing people laugh. I am somewhat people motivated, so whenever I find someone I like I will become very involved with said person. I also can be a bit protective over those I love. I can be a bit cold because I dont see things the same way as others. And I have a logical view of the world and those around me. My MBTI is also INTP

I'm a bit of a fanatic about movies (and really only become animated when talking about them) and I also adore animals of any kind. I love to draw digitally and irl, and plan on making a graphic novel someday. My love language is giving gifts and cuddling.

Thank you so much!!

I think you would capture the heart of Bubba Sawyer!

For starters, while it's not exactly the same as yours, Bubba also has curly, fluffy hair! He loves that your hair is almost like his own, and I can see him being a very tactile person when it comes to his partner, so he'll often play with your curls if you let him (and he's very gentle with you).

Bubba is very similar to you in the sense that when he finds someone he likes, he wants to become very involved with them. He grew up with his brothers and is used to a tight-knit, close, family dynamic, so that absolutely extends to his significant other. The fact that this is mutual makes him feel so giddy!

Because Bubba unfortunately does much, if not most, of the heavy lifting and "messy" work around the Sawyer residence, there are days where the two of you won't see each other as much as you'd like to. One of his favorite things to do when returning to you after a long day is to pull you into his arms (he's still taller than you! He can, and will, tuck you right against him) so the two of you can cuddle the stress and aches of the day away.

Bubba tends to get extremely anxious and sometimes downright afraid on his bad days, and unfortunately none of his brothers really help him calm down. Your logical approach to situations, as well as him and his brothers, actually helps a lot as you can reassure him in a way his brothers either can't, or won't.

Speaking of his brothers, I think Nubbins and Chop Top would like you quite a bit! While Drayton may not exactly love your sarcastic sense of humor, Chop Top and Nubbins sure as hell love your sarcastic and dirty-minded jokes. The fact that you're protective of those you love means that you'll fit in well with them, as the Sawyers tend to be protective of their own (though Bubba would rather die than have you put in any sort of dangerous situation where you have to protect him, and/or his brothers!).

Bubba would give you any gifts he could that he thought you'd like: jewelry from victims, little trinkets he either made himself or found (tooth bracelet, anyone? Though if you preferred something less morbid, how about one of buttons?), and so on. If any art supplies were found in the belongings of a trespasser, they'd most definitely go to you! But anything photography related goes to Nubbins, though. Sorry.

You and Bubba huddled up on the furniture with static-y movies on the old television set would quickly become an incredibly common sight in the house. Bubba doesn't mind you talking about the films while watching them, either - you could talk his ear off about random trivia related to the movie you were watching for its entirety and he wouldn't care one bit!

Thank you for the request, Salem - I hope it's to your liking!

[datastate]

for the ask game - 3, 26, 27 :]

3 : which of the characters has your favorite design?

MAPLE!!! hands down. i love her very much. she was the first one who i actually saw in-game and my thought was 'cute...' - but! kanna is a close-second under that lens. i suppose my only issue w her design is how much more green there is, w little complementary color? :0 i really do enjoy designs that add in a bit more pink for her!! it adds enough variety to the palette to help her stand out. though i must admit, i'd still be biased toward maple because i really like dark reds/purples/blues contrasted with white :D

however, as for what it means for the characters, i also really do enjoy kai's! both his & reko's designs were what immediately drew me to them; i was immediately fascinated by how - despite being among colorful characters - their designs were primarily dark/with occasional red. i think for kai in particular, it does a nice job of showing how. simply he tends to 'live' & what he also asks others to focus upon: the gift the chidouins gave him. for as long as he lives, he has this to show for the chidouins' kindness of allowing him a life. everything else is meant to easily blend into darkness, &. it's difficult to describe, but i really enjoy fanart where this is. emphasized?! in the sense that the apron is what draws someone's eyes to it, but when you look just behind that, you can easily tell how. restrictive the uniform is by contrast. it's really cool to me.

26 : which YTTS pov are you most excited for and whose fondness event do you want to see with them?

i'm really excited for reko's!!! specifically - i really look forward to seeing her event with sara :'D (& alice of course, but. gestures. i'm very afraid. although there's very little you can do 'wrong' with that one as opposed to the other two povs' favored persons...)

i just. am truly fond of how reko tried to support sara before the room of lies switch happened; and afterward, how reko tried doing her best to also uphold the strength she saw sara strive for. it's less pronounced because we play as sara, but. i still appreciate the times that other adults, such as reko & q-taro & kai (which are other fondness events i'm really looking forward to), try to acknowledge/praise sara for her strength while also trying to reminder her that people will be here when she falls. they're so close to taking the responsibility from her, but for one reason or another, just... cannot. and don't wish to dismiss sara's ability (which is an insecurity sara does have, being one who must uphold responsibilities expected of her). q-taro steps up where he can, usually requesting keiji's help, and genuinely tried to comfort sara throughout ch2-1 - a lot of his attempts to help sara and make things right after shin's injustice was off-camera. and reko unfortunately wasn't given much time to really help out, what with the lingering disorientation from being captured. & of course, kai is. well. as soon as he no longer had that facade to keep up, he was dead as hell. SAD!

but i digress!!! i really enjoy reko's humor & easy-going personality, and i would love to see more of her dynamic with sara in a more casual setting; i think she'd do really well at encouraging sara and helping her come to terms with the fact that... even if her future isn't as 'set' as sara expects it to be, that's not anything necessarily bad. in a similar sense to kazumi, reko's also gone through a lot that she never expected she'd have to endure, but has come out a better person by the end of it. maybe kazumi's tale is more apt considering it had to deal with academic/future plans; but it's also very important for sara to remember that she does have the chance to really dig into hobbies and find joy in it... that, in a sense, it's important to have these things on the side that you enjoy and keep them out of a professional setting too. it'd be great to have work you love, of course! but reko had to fight to actually return to what she first loved about music at all, had to learn all over again what it meant to her, because of the expectations in the professional field. sara should have a hobby where she can let loose, people she can relax and be herself around, without having to keep those expectations... constantly using your show persona just makes it harder to connect with people. even if it's easier, it's worse for you in the long-run because... no one would get the chance to know you, what you love.

i just think it'd be really sweet for reko to show that balance of entertainment & professional future that sara wants. sara already has those sorts of reminders with jou, but it's still. very important to see it from someone who's gone through it and now knows what she's doing! jou's more someone who 'goes with the flow' and generally attends clubs to prepare for... well, anything. he wants to be a jack of all trades, in case anything he pursues falls through. it's very unstable and scary to live like that, even if he puts on his usual carefree front - cherishing the moment to moment. sara's mind doesn't often. work like that. and if she were to have more serious conversations about her future, i'm sure this would be very important to her and also bring her comfort for jou's future, too...

(& i know it's unrealistic, but... i'd really enjoy a q-taro and anzu fondness event. i'm writing one myself because i don't expect we'll ever be able to have those personal interactions with the dolls, or at least... not one that handles anzu's character well (considering the ministory forgot her introduction), but i do like thinking abt them as well :D)

(&& unrelated to the question but i'm SO sad we're not getting any further kai & mishima content. that's it. withering and dithering eternally now... it's okay i'll make more events in my brain.)

27 : whose miniepi do you want to see next?

nankidai please give me more kazumi lore please please please i've never asked before. how and why does he own an atelier. please tell me specifically what direction he was overly-ambitious in, and his crash fall and burning reaction to his own overestimation. i can already assume most of this but i honestly just want to see more of him i've NEVER asked before. pretty please.