#the medical diagnosis is diagnosising

[fairy-grotto]

Trying to convince my employers to let me work from home has once again proven far more difficult than it should be.

[thanakite]

Desperately need abled people to understand that lack of a diagnosis or lack of a good diagnosis is regularly weaponized against disabled people and that is part of why people work so hard to try and get an appropriate diagnosis, but just because someone doesn't have a good official diagnosis yet DOES NOT mean they are disabled, the medical industry just sucks dick

[butterfly-casket]

Sometimes breaking down and crying to your primary care physician....works

I was desperate for answers at the end of 2023. I mean, it's been 3 years and I still don't have answers. I had lost all hope, as I was gaining new symptoms, and still no one had any idea what could be wrong. Until I read about MS, and it fit nearly all of my symptoms. I scheduled the first appointment I could to discuss it with my primary. After scheduling it, I realized I had only scheduled a 20 min appointment, and spent 4 hours getting all of my symptoms typed out with dates of when they started, how long they lasted, when they got worse. I typed out a script to communicate to my doctor all of the most important/relevant information in the most condensed form possible. I was ready to be in and out, spend 5 minutes getting him the information, and the next 15 discussing with him the plan of action.

Instead, my doc was pissed that I was even there. I had only seen his NP up until this point and he was so upset that I, a person with so many issues, had come in to see him personally the Friday before his Christmas break. He made sure to spend the first 5 minutes of the appointment interrupting me to express his frustration, and I started to feel like he wasn't going to help me at all.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself as I started shaking out of fear, and then the anger-override kicked in. I whipped out my symptom list, and his demeanor immediately changed. I told him as calmly as I could in the moment "THAT is my symptom list. Are you just not going to help me?"

He started saying "Well its just that you're going to try and make this appointment take 3 hours—" I cut him off to say "No, I wanted to make this appointment 20 minutes but you just spent the first 5 putting your problems on me." *cues the flood gates* "I've had doctors, nurse practitioners, specialists all innaccurately record my symptoms, if they ever even recorded them at all. I have to walk with a cane, I haven't been able to work for a year and a half, I have NO income, I am just trying to survive and I've been dismissed and not believed over and over again, to the point that it's effected my medical records. It makes EVERYONE think I'm fucking INSANE. I just want some help. I just need some fucking help. I just need some fucking answers. Please."

He started getting in my chart and got to business. He immediately ordered about 8 retests and 6 new ones. He got me a referral to Neurology, ordered X-rays, a swallow test, and MRIs to check for MS.

I went to the Rheumatology appointment I already had scheduled a few weeks later. I felt like the doctor was actually listening to me for the first time in forever. He made a point to record every one of my symptoms as I listed them. He seemed to care. I just came back from my swallow test today. The person performing the test acted like he read through my whole chart and was asking me a lot of questions about my other issues. He asked me if I had the MRIs yet before the test, and when going over the results he said "If it does turn out to be MS, come back to us. We will help you, figure out what works for you."

I've been terrified of being too direct with my doctors, I wouldn't even tell them the diagnosises that I thought it COULD be out of fear of them going "You've just been looking up things on the internet, I'm giving you a munchausens diagnosis." But I was desperate. It was a real cry for help. And thank fuck he saw that. Even if I still don't find answers, I've brought to their attention the mistreatment and carelessness I've been dealing with and they have decided to change that. Hopefully I will be treated like a normal human being and get my symptoms recorded correctly.

[chaos-in-one]

I think some people forget that there are people who have been diagnosed with something and *don't* currently have it on their records do actually exist lol

Most of the time, diagnosis is added to records if it is needed for treatment (ex: medicine, access to specific care). But there are cases where the person or their psych decide the negative effects of it being on there like the fact that certain diagnosises can bar you from certain things, outweigh possible benefits.

Records are there for treatment primarily, not just confirmation.

For instance, the old company we worked with diagnosed us with autism. When we transferred to the current people we work with, our current psych recommend against having it put on our records here because, due to almost being an adult, he believes the negative impacts would outweigh the positive, since I don't currently need accommodations specific to autism in school and don't need medication for it, unlike many of the other things that are up on my records. I'm still deciding for myself if I want to go through the process of getting it put back on my records or not, currently.

When it comes to diagnosis not everything is as black and white as people like to make it out to be. Different people have different needs, different treatment plans, and different people treating them. Whether it's because of their needs, or because of their doctor, someone's diagnosis may not always be as simple as a line on a medical record.

[polyhexian]

I just always assumed it couldn't be pots because I've never fainted but like. Ive now spent a total of eleven days in the hospital and this hooked up to a heart monitor. And I can shoot my pulse from 80 to 130 by sitting up on command. And sometimes when I stand up I black out a little bit. So I guess maybe I should have brought it up with my doctor sooner.

Also my sister has a pots diagnosis but she lies about medical diagnosises and so that's not certain and the idea of having pots when she also claims pots really just irritated me as a concept so I kind of ignored it

But! I guess I already have joked about terminal sleepy bitch disease, so.

[ichverdurstehier]

It is really very annoying that "brain damaged" "retarded" and the like are used as insults. I am trying to find Tumblr blogs from people who have brain damage or traumatic brain injury, but when I search for it on Tumblr, I get people insulting each other.

Also yes I'm aware that retard is technically a slur, but it's a medical diagnosis as well, and I am writing a character. (R word is not seen as okay in universe)

Etc

Tldr pls stop using "brain damaged" "retarded" and related terms as insults. These are real medical diagnosises and I do not appreciate you clogging the tags

[stackslip]

Thank you so much for your BPD post. I've had people judge me irl for going from openly identifying as bisexual specifically to IDing as Lesbian (with a secret Bi- for Cool People)/Queer/It's Complicated. And while some of that is genuine shift in my identity, a lot is about seeking medical diagnosis rn and being scared of a BPD diagnosis and I can't explain that to people BC I'm worried they'll take that as manipulative, too. Seeing people talk about how it's genuinely dangerous and how bisexuality is such a factor in the diagnosis is really fucking validating.

i rarely see people talking about the biphobic aspect to how bpd gets diagnosed—one of the main diagnosis criteria is about "disordered/unhealthy sexual behaviors", which immediately pathologises bisexuality and any kind of non-normative sexual behaviour from non-monogamy to having kinks to just enjoying having sex with strangers (and again if you're bi this is included in the non-normative, disordered behaviour). i remember reading how bi/pan women tend to have higher bpd diagnosis rates than heterosexual women and even lesbians bc of the whole "oh you're bi you cant choose a side so i diagnose you with manipulative slut disorder" and i mean i experienced it myself, with a doctor trying to diagnose me despite not even fitting *any other criteria at the time* except that my anger at the abuse i saw in psych ward counted as a "manipulative ourburst" i guess and me being perceived as a bi woman sealed the deal lol. so i feel you entirely, as an nb dyke myself

as a whole id argue that bpd and most psychiatric diagnosises are only as useful as far as they provide you with a community who might share similar issues and in rare cases, being able to support each other. certainly i know friends who are antipsych but id with bpd in terms of being able to better understand specific symptoms of trauma and find tactics to handle said symptoms better, as well as support others with similar delibitating symptoms. but this is what a shared community does that can be good—the truth is, bod and most personality disorder diagnosis are not just fundamentally flawed but used to deny any kind of care or help to already traumatized and depressed people. ive heard cases of "misdiagnosis" of bpd, but id argue any official psychiatric diagnosis is a danger bc it puts a target on you and marks you indefinitely. you could fit the bpd criteria to a T and I'd still argue that a diagnosis is a danger and can actively impede your access to care, and be used as ammo against you by doctors, healthcare providers, family and even random acquaintances because frankly, no matter how nice an individual doctor is, most doctors treat a personality disorder diagnosis as a way to say "this person's shitty and hard to deal with and should be kept away from healthy society" and it's also how it's used by 90% of people (whether in healthcare or otherwise) who love to have a way to distance themselves from Irrevocably Broken People and put any instance of abuse or poor behaviour on them. there's a much wider argument to be had about the harm of psychiatry as a whole, but i have this particular issue at heart. i know so many traumatized and abused people whove been retraumatized and frankly destroyed by being marked with this kind of diagnosis, whose abuse has been justified by their peers bc they have the Broken Slut Disorder or the Has No Feelings Disorder or the Selfish Cunt Disorder. which are all apparently Real and Important medical tool that serve an important function and should never be criticized lol

[autistpride]

Autism has a long history of being an insult.

Society and the medical community have conditioned people into believing autism is something to be ashamed of.

People view autism as a source of disappointment, annoyance, shame or worse.

Because autism has no outward characteristics our struggles are often mistaken for terrible parenting, a dangerous lack of self-control, or mental illness.

Autistic individuals were often misdiagnosed and institutionalised. It was shameful and tainted the families image to have a child with any sort of medical or mental health condition and people quickly tried to hide the fact that they had an autistic child or relative.

A result of this is that families then refused to seek diagnosis, therapy, or help for their child until they absolutely could not avoid it. Beginning the negative view on "labeling".

The 1980's is when these individuals were finally being released from institutions.

People misdiagnosed as children, those institutionalised, began finding out now as adults they are autistic instead.

Those diagnosised as adults are part of the lost children, the lost generation of autistic individuals who were institutionalised, misdiagnosed, or masked their entire lives.

It's not uncommon now to hear about adults who recognize their own autism only when their child is diagnosed.

Autistic people face a lot of stigma and isolation usually as a result of the misconceptions and a general lack of knowledge about autism.

This is especially true as we get older as there is a misconception that autism is a "child's disorder", adults will "overcome their autism", or we will "outgrow it".

The lack of support, and even the knowledge and information about autism in adults and geriatric ages is lacking.

To this day there is stigma around autism. Things like autism needs a cure, vaccines cause autism, refrigerator mothers cause autism, autistic people lack discipline, autistic people are unintelligent, and "labels being bad".

Autism and being autistic is not a bad thing. Destigmatize autism and educate yourself and others to help stop these misconceptions.

[bluegoblinfox]

Sooo I think I'm collecting the diagnosises of we don't actually understand what is happening with you but this is as close as we've come as a medical profession to naming it and it's symptoms.

Got a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia today to go with my diagnosis of CFS and FND. It's like a bingo game no one wants to win.

I am not annoyed about it or anything. They all overlap so much anyway but each have extras the others don't. Like autism, ADHD, PTSD and dyslexia...they all bring their own shit bottle to the party.

I really sound bitter but it's not that. It's just funny to me. How messed up stuff like that is. I am relieved I don't have an autoimmune condition or anything that is easy to diagnose because it kills a bunch of people. I am just amused by the collection of what-the-fuck-are-you-and-why-does-your-body-do-this diagnosis I have.

For me it's enough to know what it isn't but the labels help more in explaining it to other people clearly and give legitimatentcy to the whole deal. People just don't believe you if you don't have a label for it.

[allamericanb-tch]

wait maybe i should put a trigger warning on this? yeah probably ok this is it this is your trigger warning

i’m genuinely so baffled by my parents like

i probably should not be sharing this on the internet but (?) i am oh well

ok so my brother has diagnosed adhd and depression and is medicated for it, and my sister has diagnosed adhd and is not medicated for it, and my other sister had diagnosed depression and was not medicated for it.

but for some strange unknown reason my think i am Totally Normal Not Neurodivergent Not Mentally Ill (???) like i am just. confused. esp bc they know i’m suicidal (don’t worry for me guys i won’t do anything and i haven’t tried to in years !!!! ) and about my “issues” (idk that’s what they call it. but yes i guess it is an issue?) with sh (i haven’t for 94 days! guys i’m doing so well actually (not sarcasm))

and like it’s not like i haven’t talked to my parents about it (mostly unwillingly, i would prefer not talking to them abt anything ever). like they KNOW and like. maybe it’s my fault for refusing to go to therapy?? but that’s not like MY fault i think. like i just don’t like therapy and i think it’s unhelpful for me.

never mind all that the point is if i’ve talked to my parents like hey 3 out of your 4 children have diagnosises (?) (what is the plural of diagnosis but i know it is not that) maybe you should consider doing something about the 1 that doesn’t ! esp when you know about what they are doing ! and how they feel ! WHY ARENT THEY DOIMG SOMETHING ABOUT IT

it just is so baffling really. middle child core. yes i love being completely ignored and having my problems dismissed.

but then my mother tells me she’s going to miss me so much when i go off to college and that she will miss me more than any of her other kids. which OKAY you should not say that. but thanks ig?

anyway.

[neurodivergentbraingoblins]

I want to create this post to set some ground rules about my blog.

1. Self Diagnosis of mental health issues IS VALID. If you are self diagnosised as Autistic, ADHD, OCD, etc, you are 100% welcome here! We know our own minds better than anyone else.

2. Self Diagnosis of someone else's genetic disorder IS NOT OKAY. This fact is NOT up for debate. A genetic disorder requires you to have that incredibly specific mutated piece of DNA. If you don't have that mutation, you don't have the disorder.

There are a lot of different genetic neurodevelopmental disorders out there that all share similar symptoms, but are different enough to require different treatment. Genetic disorders like mine can't be self diagnosed because the medical community honestly doesn't know enough about them to know a clear set of symptoms attributed to each one.

I came across my diagnoses entirely by accident when I went in for genetic testing for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome only to find out that what I have doesn't even have a name yet. My symptoms don't "fit" what the medical community previously knew about my disorder. and as a result are having to re-write most of what they knew about it.

Many things that I post will be relatable to many people. I love that! Because many symptoms can be experienced by many people for entirely different reasons. But I want to make it very clear that assuming you have my same genetic disorder without genetic testing will NOT be allowed. I'm not trying to gate keep, I'm just stating a valid scientific fact. Because if you ask the researchers studying my disorder, I would NOT have been diagnosed if I didn't have genetic testing proving I have the disorder because I don't fit the mold of what they already know.

Which brings me to my 3rd ground rule.

3. Please feel free to comment that you relate to my symptoms! Feel free to comment about your experiences! But NEVER ASSUME you have my genetic disorder just because a few of our symptoms are the same. It is incredibly rude. I did not suffer 28 years of being undiagnosed and unspeakable abuse as a result just for other people to go "omg so me! I must also have this incredibly rare genetic disorder because I have one symptom that is the same!".

If you genuinely believe you have a genetic neurodevelopmental disorder, then please talk to your doctor about it!! Get genetic testing done if it is available to you. And yes I'm fully aware that this isn't possible for everyone. I live in America and it is the exact reason I wasn't diagnosised until 28. But that isn't a reason to assume you have a genetic disorder that literally requires you to have mutated DNA in order to have it.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey!

i need advice (i think?).

how to get it inside my family's unbelievably thick head that I CAN NOT CONTROL THE FACT THAT MY JOINTS ACHE.

sorry for the yelling but legit i have two (TWO!!) doctor diagnosises, as in two different conditions BOTH which make my joints hurt. to the point where when im taking my exams (mind you i have my GCSEs in a MONTH) i have to take a break after every 20-30 minutes to massage my joints or else I'm literally unable to hold the pen.

which causes me to lose time.

moreover, my right hip hurts?? like all the time?? cz i sleep on my right side. (sometimes im limping cz i cant move it)

by the end of the day i cant even hold my phone (im making beaded gifts for my friends for a holiday). like its not like i have like an iphone 15 pro max or smthnf that its heavy. nope my phone is the lightest in the family (its older than my younger brother).

and also sometimes i just get random flares? like yesterday i was going to make brownies and suddenly i couldnt even pick up a bowl🚹. this happened once on my way to a debate competition too where i literally couldn't even lift a paper anymore 😃

when i tell my parents they tell me to drink milk??? like i try but it makes me want to vomit and gives me a stomach ache?? idk why they're even trying to deny it tbh LIKE THEYRE HEREDITARY DISEASES!!!

how to communicate with my parents. pls send help.

(oh yeah btw i found these rings which help with my finger thing so that theres not too much presshre on my joints when im writing and my mother said that it doesnt hurt me enough for me to deserve them. (IM SORRY I FORGOT THE LART WHERE YOU COULD FEEL MY PAIN))

Hi! <3

This sounds absolutely awful, I am so sorry.

I have two main thoughts that might help.

Have you talked to your doctor about talking to your parents? It sounds like you're at the age now where you might be able to call your doctor and request that. It might be that unfortunately, your parents aren't taking you seriously because they still consider you a 'kid,' so a professional might make them see sense.

To go along with that, when it comes to school stuff, since you have an official doctor diagnosis (two of them), you are legally entitled to accommodations. For example, you could get extra time on your tests. I'm not sure how it works in your country, but if the school is given the diagnosis, then a meeting can be requested to give you those accommodations, and you should definitely ask for that meeting!

This is a medical condition and you deserve to be taken seriously. So, (politely) demand that. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your school. It absolutely sucks that you have to do that, but hopefully if you do, you can get the help you deserve.

Let me know if I can do anything to help!

<3

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: incredible anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[girlish-in-pain]

It's so frustrating that my neurologist is so clearly in over his head. To my face he's denying that there's any uncertainty in the diagnosis he has given me and is blaming anything that doesn't fit on my mental health. But on paper he has gone back and forth between two diagnosises for months now. He is switching between the two every time he writes in my medical chart and when I ask him about it he denies that he's unsure. I can't fucking wait to start af the headache clinic

[faesystem]

Once again, I am desperate for people to understand the existence of nuance. The lack of nuance in certain conversations leads to misinformation and fear mongering.

The biggest example recently is the topic of diagnosis and honestly treatment itself. It is absolutely truthful that some people with CDDs experience discrimination on the basis of their diagnosises. It is absolutely truthful that some people with CDDs have incredibly traumatic experiences of medical abuse in regards to accessing treatment. However, it has been absolutely blown out of proportion into this fear mongering rhetoric that frightens people away from seeking treatment.

When we were discussing pursuing further treatment with a DID specialist with our psychologist, she brought up concerns she had about it. There were some serious and genuine worries. Specifically, she was concerned that some professionals tend to retraumatise their patients in order to reintegrate the system. It is horrible and harmful and unnecessary.

However, that does not mean that we are not seeking treatment from a professional. It just means we are being cautious while we do so. We will discuss with them our goals, and ensure that they are on the same page. If there is any sign that they may harm us in a twisted attempt at help, we will cease going to them and look elsewhere. The fact that it is possible to get a shitty psychologist does not mean that we are unable to find a good one who can assist us with our treatment goals.

When it comes to diagnosis, we are not diagnosed on-record. When necessary, symptoms will be stated without the diagnosis attached. We have an entire report that mentions that we are various different identities that front at different points in time. The reason for this is because a diagnosis does not benefit us at all, we have several already that allow us to access treatment and healthcare. The only benefit is validation, which we do not really need since she has said we are diagnosed as far as she is concerned. The benefit of a small amount of extra validation does not outweigh the genuine risk of ableism that a diagnosis can cause.

However, as we are seeking support from a DID specialist, it is possible that will will need a diagnosis in order to access it. If that is the case, we will receive a diagnosis. Will a diagnosis open us up to potential discrimination? Sure. But not to the extent that it is not worth having one if it allows us to access the treatment we need.

Ableism is certainly no light matter. Depending on where you live, your race, your gender, all those little things, it may in fact not be worth it to be diagnosed. However, for us? Here are the worst case senarios.

1. We get a job and we get fired after they find out we have DID. Absolutely, without a doubt the worst possibility. However, we have other diagnosises and other disabilties that would likely get us fired far sooner than DID. In fact, accessing treatment makes it far less likely we will be fired, as it betters our communication. It makes it less likely someone will front and have no idea how to do our job.

2. We are unable to access top surgery or bottom surgery. I believe this is highly unlikely given we are on testosterone already. If there are concerns from a doctor, we can provide a note from our psychologist clearing that we are fit to make these decisions. If they refuse that, we can get a lawyer involved or go elsewhere.

Honestly, those are the only senarios I can imagine where it would impact us. And while those would be a pain in the ass, it is truly not the end of the world. Especially in regards to a job, we do not have to disclose that. Not getting a diagnosis does not prevent them from finding out we have a disorder. We have an incredibly overt presentation. Currently, the only alter who can consistently front and stay grounded has a Russian accent. If we get a diagnosis and get help, we will be able to mask those overt symptoms. The risk of them seeing one line on a piece of paper saying we have a disorder is honestly far less likely to get us fired than us having unmanageable symptoms.

TLDR: Yes, having a diagnosis can negatively impact your life. However, being undiagnosed can also negatively impact your life. The potential risks of getting a diagnosis are low, and also you do not need a diagnosis to get treatment. Do not let fear mongering stop you from getting treatment.

[chaos-in-one]

Saw this and it is genuinely one of the worst "DID red flags/DID faker signs" type post I've seen in a while and a few of these genuinely pissed me off so let's unpack these one by one!

!!! Long post !!!

Active in the Fandom of popular gaming youtubers

If it's a large Fandom, it's going to attract more fans. Which also means more disabled people will be in it. Including people with DID.

Certain youtubers yes it could be a red flag to be a fan of them. Isn't related to the person's DID though, it's about them choosing to support a shitty person.

VERY vocal about their diagnosises, think their experiences are the only valid ones and thus everyone else is faking but them

This one I do actually agree with! It absolutely is a red flag to use your diagnosis and how you experience your disorder to put down others!

Literally will not shut up about it

You are probably looking at an account made specifically to be open about DID. Because believe it or not, outside comparatively very small circles on the internet, DID is highly stigmatized. It is hard to find acceptance in real life, so some people go online to look for spaces they can talk about what they can't in the real world. Saying it is a negative thing actively hurts people with DID, because it says that them having spaces to freely exist is bad.

Active in fake claiming communitites

... you haven't been on r/systemscringe very long, have you?

Uses r/plural and related subs

Same point as the 3rd one: DID is highly stigmatized and people with DID are allowed to look for places they can talk about their experiences with DID.

Posts in those subreddits things like "am I faking?" Or "my alters disappeared when school started?"

The first one is actually a rather common thought for a lot of people with DID! For most people with the disorder, it is meant to be covert. Your brain doesn't want you to know you have it because it is trying to protect you from what caused it. So when you do recognize you have the disorder, it is going to try to push you back into denial because it doesn't want you to know you have it.

The second one, while how it is worded certainly could be a red flag as alters don't just disappear, alters seeming to be gone during stressful situations is also actually really common! The entire point of the disorder is to protect a traumatized child from their trauma and future trauma as best as it can. And by extention, it tends to see certain intense emotions as a warning sign, and will lock a particular alter in control to protect as much of the mind as it can from potential trauma.

Minor

It is a childhood trauma based disorder. Every person with DID was a minor with DID at some point.

Typing Quirks

Typing quirks should never have been associated together in the first place. Typing quirks are not a DID thing, or a system thing at all.

I do agree that if they don't have a translation it is a red flag though, it makes it difficult to impossible for multiple groups of disabled people to access.

Pastel or kidcore aesthetic

An aesthetic is not related to DID. At all. Two completely separate things. The only time either of these are a red flag is if the person is using the aesthetic to sexualize things related to children.

Medically recognized

Literally all this means is that a medical professional has agreed that you might have the disorder. Almost everyone now diagnosed at one point was medically recognized, because diagnosis is a process, not a single event.

Makes picrews of their alters

This is literally just like anyone else making a picrew of themselves. Someone making a little character of what they look like (or want to look like in some cases), is not a red flag. It is not uniquely wrong with someone with a specific disorder does this.

Ftm or nonbinary

.... do I even need to spell out how calling being trans a red flag is transphobic?

A-spec

Again, do I really need to spell out how calling someone's orientation a red flag is bigoted....

Dyed hair

See the point on kidcore & Pastel aesthetic: someone's style choices aren't related to any disorder.

Looks like they would microwave their hampster for tik tok clout

Based on physical appearance? No that's not a red flag, because physical appearance is not an actual indicator of what a person is like. Based on personality? Yeah it is a little concerning if that's what you get out of how someone acts.

Furry or furry adjacent

For the last time. People's style choices are not related to their disorder.

Likes east Asian media

Depends. If they're not Asian and like it to an almost obsessive or fetishistic degree, yeah, big red flag. If they're not fetishistic about it or literally Asian themselves? No. People are allowed to like media from other cultures.

I genuinely cannot read most of the next point so I'm not going to try to answer that for now

List of triggers never ends

Personally I think publicly listing triggers in general is a very bad idea, especially for people with disorders that could make them more vulnerable already. So I do for the most part agree with this point.

Probs mentions pro-shippers somewhere

If it's to tell them to stay away/not interact/etc. No. Again, not related to DID, and also a reasonable boundary to have. If it's in support of proshippers, still not DID related, but yeah definitely a red flag in my book.

Fujoshi

If you actually mean non mlm or nblm who fetishize mlm then yeah, that is a red flag. If you mean anyone who liked any mlm ship ever... yeah no. People are allowed to like gay ships. Gatekeeping who can like a ship based on the genders of the characters ends up just othering us.

Username contains words like system/collective/etc

Again, it is probably an account about DID specifically. Not necessarily a red flag for the reasons previously stated.

Uses we to refer to themselves

A lot of people with DID consider alters to be someone else, not themselves. So they see all of them as a group. It's grammatically correct to refer to a group using 'we' instead of 'I'.

"Diagnosed" by their therapist

In a lot of cases, yes. Most therapists cannot diagnose. Certain therapists who are also things like trauma specialists are licensed to, however. It just isn't very common.

Endogenic

I am going to stay out of this one for the most part, as no matter what I answer it will most likely drag me into an argument that detracts from the point of this post. However I do think it is a red flag to claim DID itself can be non traumagenic, it has been proven time and time again to be caused by trauma.

Wants to be an oppressed minority soooo bad

You know, on any topic, I always hated this point. Because nine times out of ten, the person doesn't actually WANT to be an oppressed minority. They just want their struggles as an actual minority to stop being dismissed.

Usually claims other "popular" disorders/illnesses too (Autism/NPD/BPD/POTS/hEDS)

I have a few points for this one.

One, a lot of disorders do actually make it more likely to develop trauma based disorders. Disorders like autism can lower the trauma threshold and make it more likely that dissociation is how the person copes. And disorders, especially physical disabilities, can cause trauma in and of themselves!

Two, these disorders can all be comorbid. Trauma disorders have high comorbidity rates with certain physical disabilities because the stress that caused those trauma disorders puts tangible, physical stress on your body and it's limits. And trauma disorders also have a very high comorbidity rate with other trauma disorders. It's pretty common to have more than one.

Three, NPD most definitely is not a "popular" disorder. Neither is BPD, in my opinion, although the amount of acceptance for it is higher than with NPD. NPD is quite literally one of the most heavily stigmatized disorders. There are articles after articles, entire forums and communities and more, built around calling people with NPD abusers. You look up NPD and you can find page after page after page telling how to spot a narcissist, how to psychologically damage a narcissist, how to hurt one. It is not by any means a "popular" disorder to have.

System of mostly introjects

Current generations literally have the highest amount of access to fictional media in all of recorded history. And when there is more access to fiction, more people will use it to cope. When more people use it to cope, it becomes more common for it to influence how people are. And DID is a disorder highly influenced and tailored by the specific individuals situation.

New alters always appearing

Again, another situation of a person's experiences being misinterpreted: a lot of the time "new" alters aren't actually new. Many alters are hidden from the person for days, weeks, months or even years before they are discovered. And sometimes they don't even realize how long they have been there, because they had no communication with any other alters. Having a poor perception of time is a very common symptom in most dissociative disorders.

Has tik tok

Someone with DID having a social media is not any more a red flag than someone without DID having it. The two are not related.

Has recordings of themselves "switching"

I do personally find this uncomfortable. Especially since, for a lot of people with DID, or OSDD, switching is often completely uncontrollable. A lot of the times it also is uncomfortable or even painful or stress inducing. I can understand how this could be a red flag, although it is not impossible for it to actually happen, especially if someone else is the one filming.

Neopronouns

Points to the previous point about how saying someone's transness is a red flag is transphobic

"Stims"

This one is a grey area. If they are romanticizing them, fetishizing them, treating them like they're cute, spreading misinfo, etc. Then yes. Just showing or talking about stimming in general though? No. That is an actual thing people do, especially people with disorders like ADHD and autism. Calling a symptom associated with disorders a red flag by itself is ableist and harmful to people with those disorders.

Will do literally anything but show their diagnostic paperwork to "prove" they aren't faking

Diagnostic papers are quite literally private medical information. Depending on how they are formated (differs from company to company), they also could include other private information that sharing online could put you in danger. Depending, showing these could literally get a person doxxed. Them keeping themselves safe online is not a red flag, and it is a red flag to demand someone risk their safety to prove their disability to you. Even employers are legally not allowed to demand this information in most cases.

If you don't like them you're ableist and/or homophobic

If said because someone doesn't like them as a person and as a serious thing, then yes. If said because the reason the person didn't like them was because of their orientation or disorder, or as a joke, then no.

Their "therapy" goal is to live in harmony with their alters, instead of reintegration

The thing you are trying to talk about actually has a name! It is called functional multiplicity. And it actually is not "not integrating", it still is a form of integration. Just like final fusion, the goal is to lower dissociative barriers and heal from childhood trauma over time. The only difference is the alters "fusing" or becoming one with one another, is not part of the treatment plan. Functional multiplicity is not the opposite of integration, it is a form of integration in and of itself. People with that goal still want to heal. They just don't feel that final fusion would benefit them. Both are goals approved by many actual professionals.

"Getting a diagnosis would put me at a disadvantage in xyz" (it won't)

Again, this is a grey area and highly depends on the individuals living situation and where they are.

If they are spreading misinformation, like the idea that employers in the U.S. all get to see your diagnosis (again, quite literally illegal for them to try to force you to give them that), then yes, red flag!

However there are certain things that in some places in the world, a DID diagnosis can make harder to access. For instance, it can be harder to get a driver's license in some places.

Additionally, depending on who the person is living with, it could be actively unsafe for them to be diagnosed. Again, in real life, DID is highly stigmatized.

Advocates for self dx

It really depends on how this is gone about. If they are encouraging people to do things like take quizzes or saying "if you do x you have DID" then yes this is a red flag! However, encouraging people to do actual research into the disorder is a good thing! People realizing they have symptoms of something can majorly help them! So can educated self dx, in some cases. It can help them access spaces with resources for people with symptoms like theirs, it can help them learn ways to cope with their symptoms specific to that disorder, it can help them know what to tell their psychiatrist they suspect is going on, and a lot more!

Alters are fully fleshed out characters

Honestly this is another one that rather pissed me off. Alters are not "characters". People with DID are not fictional. These are actual people. As for them being more "fleshed out"... that's part of the point. Again, these are real people. They are going to be complex. Yeah it's rare for ALL alters to be that complex, but the existence of any alters or even multiple alters who are is not a red flag. Distinctly different alters is quite literally one of the symptoms that sets DID apart from other dissociative disorders, like OSDD-1.

Sign offs with alter names

Someone with DID trying to decrease confusion for themselves and those around them is not a red flag by itself. It is literally to help themselves. It is a lot easier to deal with memory barriers if you can look and see something physical telling you what happened and who did it.

Headspace "maps"

Again, this is usually done to help with memory barriers. For a lot of people, DID or not, physically making something to show you what is going on in your head makes it easier to understand for you. Trying to help yourself deal with a damaging symptom of your disorder by giving yourself something to lay it all out is not a bad thing.

Well that was All! Hope that makes sense and cleared some things up.

And before anyone tries to use this to say I'm faking DID: I do not have DID.

[bunn-iiii]

are you pro endo

hell yeah man, being anti-endo is in my dni very clearly. if you're anti-endo then you can leave or block me or whatever. being endogenic doesn't mean "fake system" it means to have a different source other than trauma. the idea that systems are only formed by early stage trauma is extremely exclusionary. what is the point of telling people they're not real systems if they have the exact same experiences as medically diagnosed systems. it's not like they're gonna somehow steal resources when they can't get access to any since the DSM-5 doesn't recognize them as systems :/ this is the way I feel abt self diagnosis too, DSM-5 is extremely restrictive and eurocentric in it's diagnostic criteria which is why I don't exactly like to believe it in it's entirety. sometimes humans (or beings with human bodies) are just them and aren't easily explainable by words or diagnosises. it just be like that and it's better to let them be them then to try to argue which is counterintuitive and honestly just stupid. no fucking point just stop being an asshole