#the old guard fic idea

[nowhere-to-go-but-here]

Joe/Nicky meet-cute idea!

This adorable story from Twitter but as a Joe/Nicky meet-cute! 💕

Nicky is the plant dad with a ton of precious potted plants by his front door. Joe is the sleep-deprived sweetheart of a food delivery guy (an artist trying to nake ends meet) who knocks over the pot. He apologies so sincerely, all big, sad bambi eyes, that Nicky finds himself comforting Joe and telling him he didn't need to worry about it.

Joe is so moved by Nicky's kindness that he comes by a couple of days later with a replacement pot -beautifully hand painted, of course, because this is Joe! - with the sweetest apology note. Nicky, in turn, is so incredibly touched (and also, let's face it, smitten) that he insists he repay Joe by making him dinner.

And that's how Nicky ends up cooking for his food delivery guy and eventually marrying him. And they live happily ever after surrounded by Nicky's plants, all in beautiful hand-painted pots (which Joe now makes for a living and is pretty successful at selling!).

The end 🥰🪴🌷☘️

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[justaz]

merlin slipping up early on around arthur and trying to assuage his fears by assuring that the gods would look out for them and arthur pauses before asking “the gods?” and they have a awkward lil conversation where merlin is like “yeah i worship the gods of the old religion” and arthurs like “why?” and merlin goes “well why do you worship the god of the new religion? we just believe in them” and arthur takes in this new information and is eventually like “yeah. sure. i guess its not illegal in escetir is it?” anyways thats it. it doesnt get brought up again until later on

when arthur + the knights and merlin and in that shrine and the knights aren’t taking it seriously and merlin goes “in the time of the old religion, they built shrines like this to appease restless spirits. we shouldn’t be here” and the knights brush it off but arthur knows merlin truly believes in it all so he redirects the knights away and later on its him and merlin at the well and arthur is there to calm merlin after he sees the visions from the raid. merlin’s crying and pleading with arthur to leave, that they shouldn’t be here. arthur agrees and goes to leave when merlin calls out to him. arthur stops but doesn’t turn. merlin wraps his arms around his middle

“you were here”

arthur doesn’t say anything more and walks away

[bidisastersanji]

The Old Guard x One piece AU got my brain going brrr and i'm gonna make it your problem now. Center of the matter is I want Zoro and Sanji to meet kind of like Nicki and Joe did (discovering their immortality by fighting on opposite sides and killing each other over and over and then becoming eternal lovers) so I went and did some research for the entire Straw hat crew. Main thing is I wanted to link them to historical events that will give them the right motivations and backgrounds! so here we GOOO

Sanji and Zoro: Because Japan has an isolationist past, the only battle I could find that would work is the Cagayan battles of 1582 in Jakarta between Spanish-Philippine forces vs Japanese pirates (a.k.a Wokou, which are basically pirate ronin) Sanji would thus be a reluctant "Rodelero" sent to South East Asia by his noble family (jokes on them he loves being in the middle of the spice trade and he hates being part of a noble family funding the conquistadores) who one day finds himself fighting a mysterious Wokou samurai Zoro. They're partly isolated from their respective camps when they first kill each other, and again, and again, until they realise they should by all means be dead but they keep healing. After a couple decades of -against all odds- running into each other everywhere, they reluctantly decide to try and figure out what the heck's happened to them together- struggling to communicate at first, then learning each others' language over the following decade, then falling in love and becoming inseparable. This makes Zoro and Sanji both over 400 years old, and they are the same age. Zoro learns about so many sword techniques and Sanji about different cuisines/ leg-centric fighting styles during this time.

all the other straw hats and their historical periods under the cut!

Robin as an Egyptian scholar who died during the burning of the Library of Alexandria in 48 BC/ was killed for researching something forbidden during the declining years of the Roman Period (early 200s) and found out she was immortal this way, making her around 2 millennia old. She spends her time recording history and traveling the world and encountering new cultures. Her long time enemy is religious obscurantism, and the Catholic church spends a lot of resources trying to kill her. (they have conspiracy boards about this immortal witch in the Vatican)

Brook: so ancient he doesn't remember much, other that he came from Kerma culture (2500 BC), loved music, and that his entire village had died from an illness, but he came back. His memory isn't great but if there's one thing he's loved in his Millennia of existence is discovering and learning how to play all the instruments that he could find. He mostly hangs in Vienna nowadays as a music teacher.

Jinbei is a Samoan chieftain from around 1000 BC who one day died during a battle with a Fijian chieftain. When he came back from death he assumed Tagaloa chose him. He loves navigating, sailing, exploring and going on voyages with his people. In more recent times (post european contact) he was forced to ally with the US Navy to protect his people.

Nami: Irish lass from around 800 who's coastal, tiny village was about to be raided by Vikings from Sweden. She made a deal with their chieftain Arlong to go with them and map out the British isles for them to help their raids be more effective and targeted, in exchange for not killing people in her village, and that she would make back the plunder they did not get from this town for them. She started to join their raids to try and make this money, but she died in battle. She came back and they believed her to be some kind of Valkyrie or Einherjer brought back to midgard. She took over the raider's leadership- also Norsemen always had women handle money, which works great here. During her time as an immortal she travels, seeks treasure, double crosses people etc.

Usopp a young double agent/CIA spy from the Cold War who died on a mission. He tragically could not return to his love Kaya because he was afraid of putting her in danger by revealing he was alive to the spies that killed him. He relocates and starts anew constantly, his entire life a web of lies. He's a great marksman/sniper.

Chopper died young of the Bubonic plague in medieval Europe. He resuscitated, tragically his father is infected as well and he's unable to save him- motivating him to get to the bottom of this disease, he decides to become a doctor. Looking like a 15 year old for centuries doesn't make this task easy and he has to hide a lot.

Franky is an American veteran of WWI who was heavily disfigured first, and died later (which is why he's not fully healed and needs prosthetics). He's heavily anti-government from having been sent to fight in such a meaningless war that sacrificed young men like cannon fodder. He learned to fix himself up and make prosthetics and masks for veterans, got into making tech stuff

Luffy is a modern, 21st century 20 something year old from Brazil's favelas. He dies in a gun violence incident (maybe linked to a drug war/gang war where he's been trying to protect his neighbourhood) and comes back, experiencing visions of others like him. He's resolute to find them and make a crew, thinking that with all of them together, maybe they can help liberate the world from opressors and inequality

[paigetics]

There's a Le Otto Montagne Joe/Nicky AU somewhere in my brain, post-movie, of Joe meeting Nico, who lost his best friend a few years ago in the wintry Italian mountainside. And in this maybe Nicky was in love with Bruno and maybe one time they did sleep together, but Nicky ran from it, from his father, while Bruno stayed on the mountain (which is it's own kind of running) and that's what started the rift between them that led to Bruno slipping away entirely. and now Nicky is terrified of opening his heart to someone again, so he's pretty gruff and standoffish with Joe at first.

So Nicky lets his parents' summer house (not the cabin of course, he's never been back up there) and he kind of maintains the house for whoever is staying there too and Joe is there for the winter, cue a snowed-in type scenario.

Inspired by the song Northern Attitude - forgive my northern attitude (i was raised on little light) because of that Joeisthesun motif - and by that scene in the movie where Pietro teaches Asmi how to say please in Italian. Idk I want to capture the atmosphere of the mountains and the countryside in the movie while writing about love and friendship and vulnerability.

[agenttommykinard]

I don't mind a major character death fic

when it's clearly just a bashing fic I'm out of it

but when it's clearly written to explore the themes of grief and what happens when you lose a loved one? the way it changes you deeply and learning to move on? beautiful

maybe they meet someone else, maybe they don't, what's important is that the love was there and that the character who died had people care for them enough that their lives changed when they died

also I like a good cry

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #85: The Old Guard, but make it Assassin's Creed

My brother has always been a big fan of Assassin's Creed, but I never gave the games a shot until recently, when it seemed a natural progression from all the Crusades research I've been doing for The Old Guard fic I want to write but probably never will. Once I realized Isu bullshit could be a perfect explanation for TOG immortality, this (incredibly self-indulgent) crossover was born.

Or: What if Merrick Pharmaceuticals was a competitor of Abstergo Industries?

Just imagine it:

Pharmaceutical research is an expensive, cut-throat business. Viagra is a $2 billion dollar a year industry. Humira, the blockbuster drug of 2018, sold nearly $20 billion in the US alone. So I imagine if you're a pharmaceutical CEO of limited morals and great ambition, it might seem like a better idea to steal ideas from your competitor who seems to hit it out of the ballpark every time instead of pouring billions of dollars into what may turn out to be an unfruitful venture.

Enter Hugh Merrick, father of Steve Merrick and founder of Merrick Pharmaceuticals. Needing a blockbuster and desperate to get one over on Abstergo, he hires a hacker to slip into Abstergo's servers and find him the ripest, juiciest plum they can sometime in the early 2000s, before the (modern) events of the games or the 2019 TOG movie.

The hacker comes back with the schematics for the Animus.

The idea of genetic memories seems absurd, but Hugh figures that if Abstergo has been using the Animus since the 1980s to get ahead, there's no reason he can't do it too - all he needs is a single Piece of Eden and all his problems are solved.

Hugh builds the Animus and has the hacker go back into Abstergo's systems looking for a candidate to put into it. But finding someone with Assassin blood seems dangerous - they're likely to be an assassin too and could be dangerous if they try to escape, plus the Templars killed off nearly all of them. Templar descendants are out because most are Templars themselves and if Hugh's plan is to succeed he heeds to stay off their radar for as long as possible.

The hacker returns with Abstergo's list of people who may be useful if all other avenues fail. It contains a list of people who were peripherally involved during the invents that interest them - mainly high-ranking courtiers close to Popes Alexander VI and Julius II - and their descendants. They might know things about events of Ezio's time.

Enter Joe and Nicky.

For the past few hundred years, their primary cover identities involve being the children or grandchildren of their previous cover story, all the way back to their first deaths. There are fewer questions and you get to "inherit" all your old stuff.

This method has worked quite well for them - until Merrick learns that their "ancestors" were part of the court of Pope Julius II from 1497 (when he was still Bishop of Ostia) until his death in 1513. Nicky was his private secretary, Joe was a court painter, and contemporary sources suggest they were highly placed enough to know whatever Pope Julius II knew about Ezio's apple. Such as where Ezio might have hidden it.

It's not an unreasonable plan, except for the pesky fact of Joe and Nicky's immortality. After all, the animus is designed to draw on genetic memory, not the subject's own memories. And even if it can be used to view memories laid down in their own genes 500 years ago - which is doubtful, - there's a high likelihood of it killing them - and if Hugh were to learn of their immortality, things would only get worse for them. But they have little choice once they're captured and brought to Hugh's secret research bunker somewhere north of Inverness.

What follows is a largely self-indulgent stroll through the more interesting episodes of Joe and Nicky's life together.

Nicky's first go in the animus is a jumbled, confused mess as Hugh's tech minion learns the ropes as she goes. Nicky ends up hopscotching through his early memories - for instance, a memory where he's learning how to use a sword as a young squire jumps to him using the same move during the Siege of Jerusalem. That strand of memory continues on for a bit until another interaction gets him sent into the memory of another battle/training session/conversation with the person in question and so on.

Joe's first time in the animus goes a little better, as Hugh realizes that his minion needs to learn how to program the animus before they put their most valuable subject into it, and so let's her learn with Joe. Hugh's minion (who is really beginning to regret taking this job) succeeds, pulling Joe into the genetic memory of one of his ancestors: al-Kahina, an Amazigh religious and military leader who led indigenous resistance to the Muslim conquest of the Maghreb. There should be suggestions of a Sword of Eden somewhere in events, but since they don't share Precursor knowledge, Hugh's not interested in letting the memory play out.

Nicky's second session gets them to the time period they want, but his memories have next to nothing to do with the PoE. The same holds true for Joe, when his second session puts him through his POV of that time period. And though Hugh has his minion take them up and down every memory of that time period searching for the smallest hint of anything that might point them in the right direction, there's nothing to find.

Or, rather: Nicky and Joe did meet Ezio once or twice, in waiting rooms or reception areas or the like, but they spent that time talking about art, or the weather, or philosophy - nothing about politics, or Ezio's travels, or PoEs at all.

Otherwise, most of Nicky and Joe's memories of early 16th century Rome involve Joe's rivalry with Michelangelo, who among other things persisted in flirting with Nicky even after he made it clear he wasn't interested. (Joe was, among other things, responsible for getting Michelangelo the commission for David in Florence to get him out of Rome and away from Nicky.)

There's some Vatican politics as well - Nicky's part in organizing the Swiss Guard, Joe's in organizing the Vatican Museums, and the removal of the Borgias from power - and some global politics - the 1503 dispensation for Henry VIII's marriage to Catherine of Aragon, etc. But most of their memories are largely Joe and Nicky being Joe and Nicky in the High Renaissance (and rather hating their jobs, as neither of them particularly like working for Julius II but were blackmailed into it to avoid being labeled as Ottoman spies.)

This goes on for several days until Hugh orders his minion to start looking for the memories of other "ancestors" - essentially, to refine the animus and her technique while he gets his hacker to find better candidates for the animus. And if this accidentally destroys Joe and Nicky's minds in the process? So be it. The plan was always to kill them at the end of their usefulness anyway.

Hugh's minion spends a day doing as asked - there's a few tantalizing glimpses of Joe and Nicky at the court of Kublai Khan in the 1270s - before she has an opportunity to act on the guilty conscious that's come to plague her.

The minion helps them escape - destroying the animus, wiping the records, and blowing the place sky high to cover the bloody swath they have to cut to get out of the secret research bunker. Amongst the casualties is Hugh Merrick, propelling his son Steve into position as youngest CEO in Pharma.

Joe and Nicky rejoin Andy and Booker - who'd been doing their best to cut their own bloody swath through anyone tangentially related to the mercenaries who kidnapped their brothers - and decide to turn their attention to tracking down PoE and destroying animus technology wherever it can be found, believing there are no peaceful uses for either. As a glad you escaped present, Booker tanks Merrick Pharmaceutical's stocks so badly the company never recovers, eventually going bankrupt.

As for the minion? Maybe she's a young Rebecca Crane prior to her recruitment by the Assassins and it’s her experiences with Hugh's animus that get her recruited by the Assassin Order. Maybe she's just a random OC who sets herself up with a new identity halfway around the world and watches gleefully as Merrick Pharmaceuticals and Abstergo Industries both eventually crash and burn.

Bonuses include: 1) Joe and Nicky being the most passive aggressive kidnapees in the history of kidnappings - on the face of things, going along with exactly what Hugh asks of them, but doing their best to focus on innocuous memories and figuring out how to purposefully make memories "skip" between similar episodes without Hugh ever noticing the glitch. Also, playing up the Bleeding Effect so that by day three they're only speaking in Medieval Italian; 2) Hugh being a better class of villain than his son. Immoral? Unethical? Yes, but in a sophisticated businessman way, not a jacket and hoodie, stab a man with a letter opener type way. For some reason I'm imagining him as Jean-Luc Picard, if Picard ever had a Mirror Universe alternate; and 3) Interludes of Andy and Booker searching for Joe and Nicky after they've been kidnapped. This should be part action-thriller along the lines of Taken, part buddy comedy, and involve an arc wherein Andy learns of Booker's deep unhappiness with his immortality and helps him come to terms with the feelings that would have otherwise eventually led to the events of the 2019 movie.

And that is surprisingly more than I thought I would have had. As always, feel free to adopt this bun, just link back if you decide to do anything with it.

More TOG Fic Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[the73rdpostscript]

Excuse Me (Excuse Me)

Joe’s mood has been up and down over the past few hours. His energy took a big hit after the last song, but at some point in the last ten minutes Booker handed him a vodka Redbull. While Joe had called his dear friend some choice words at the drink selection, the caffeine is now buzzing in his blood, and he knows Booker is already forgiven.

Their victory in the match this afternoon was sweet. Fucking Stephen and his Northside team of assholes took the loss without an ounce of dignity. The rush had been heady, and now that the club music is vibrating in his chest, Joe feels free to do anything.

Somewhere beyond where he dances with Nile, the broad shouldered white guy he'd grinded on an hour ago is still dancing between a few other strangers. Joe watches him toss his head to the beat of an old 2000s song that they're both too old not to know. It might have been playing in the college parties where Joe had his first drunken hook-up. The memory moves like molten gold in his mind and he takes another swig of the drink in his hand, dropping his hips low as the beat ushers in a new singer for the chorus.

In front of Joe, Nile has turned her head away – paying more attention to someone else he can’t quite see yet. Soon, she spins away from him fully and loops her arms around a gorgeous tall brunette that must be twice her age.

Left alone on the dance floor, Joe keeps swaying to the familiar tune that he now recognizes as Pitbull of all things.

The lights of the club have changed from flashing yellow to pulsing blues and purples. In Joe’s peripheral vision he can see Shoulders has stepped back from his dance partner, giving them space to flop down and begin some fancy vogueing. The room erupts with a cheer from those who can see the show.

"For all we know we might not get tomorrow," Ne-Yo sings.

Smiling, Joe lets his head fall back and sings along as loud as he can while everyone is distracted by the impromptu performance happening among them.

Later, he will be deeply embarrassed about his next choices, but in the moment, he feels lit up from within. His mood is high with the heady combination of chemicals and nostalgia; the lights are mesmerizing; and the bodies around him are all as good as friends.

Shoulders is only a foot away from him, which means when Joe sings louder he knows he’ll be heard. Sliding up behind the other man, Joe wraps his hands around Shoulders’ hips and leans in close so he can croon along with the singer, "Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey!"

The man startles for a moment, leaning his head back to see Joe's face over his shoulder. The new angle highlights a strong nose and a quirk of the lips. Joe pulls their bodies closer, moving his hips to the beat and trying to keep from laughing. It only takes a moment for Shoulders to make a face that indicates he recognizes Joe, and as soon as he does, he spins around so they can properly grind in time with the beat.

Joe doesn’t remember the verses, so instead he focuses on the feeling of their bodies pressed together, and the happy expression on Shoulders' face as they move. Shoulders’ eyes are pale and intense under the lights, but they glow with satisfaction as he leans in to give Joe the best kiss of his life (or at least the best kiss so far).

Years later, Nicky will happily tell anyone who asks that they met when Joe called him Sexy in front of a crowd of people. Sometimes he will tell people that Joe hit on him using a Pitbull song. Every iteration of the story leaves Joe feeling mortified, but he still smiles like an idiot when he wraps around Nicky in bed at night and murmurs, “Hey.”

[swearwollf]

I seriously need a fic where Hob rescues Dream but he comes in like the hardened soldier he is, like some kind of action hero. He’s too pissed off to be phased by things like being shot and such. Just some real Old Guard fight scene aesthetic where he brings a sword to a gunfight and kicks ass with it.

[dolphelecat]

Prompt

So I have this weirdly specific scenario I want to read a fic about.

So Person A gets trapped in, like, a lantern or an enclosed table lamp. They don't remember or experience this. For them it's like they had a nice dreamless nap and then woke up. They just look like a light inside the lantern/lamp.

However, whatever rules trapped them there keep them there for a very long time. If the people involved are mortal, it will be sometime after Person B dies. If the people are immortal, it's long enough that it's a disconcerting amount of time for the people to be apart.

So Person B has this little lantern/lamp and tends to it and takes care of it, talking to it as it's the only bit of Person A they have, possibly with no expectation of ever seeing Person A again but still caring for them the best they know how.

Luckily, Person A gets out a LOT earlier than expected. It's short enough that the two can have a happy ending, but long enough that Person B was nicely traumatized.

A bonus scene is sometime after this, Person B is compromised -- just woke up from a nightmare or sick/injured and delirious, etc. -- and they can't see the lamp/lanter and freak out, and Person A has to calm them down and comfort them.

If you write this, no matter the fandom or pairing (I'm sure I'll regret that later), please send it to me.

Thanks!

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

The world contracts around him, time holding its breath.

CHAPTER 7

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

My friend sent me this super long voice message about the movie The Old Guard and what a great idea it would be to write a fic about this in the cod universe and I’m so intrigued, imagine reader being an immortal like in the movie and they join taskforce 141 and try to hide it like omg the whump scenarios running in my head. This is definitely something for my summer break but rn uni is pulling me back into my exam phase like hahahha I’m gonna die next week

[stars-inthe-sky]

For the fic meme! 3,5,18,29! 🙏

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

It's like choosing a favorite child! tell me where your strength lies is the thing I'm probably proudest of having written, just because of its sheer length and complexity and timeline. I think Every Part a Flame may be the most "me" story, in terms of bringing together, like, all my favorite things in a fic and showing readers what I'd learned in years of writing. And Days of Awe is easily the most personal, and also a deep point of pride for entirely different reasons.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Oh, the answer to that is always Star Wars Watergate, which I explained in detail almost a full decade ago here. Anyone who actually wants to do the research is welcome to the idea, just let me know so I can actually read it. In the meantime, I will think fondly on it anytime I see pictures of the original trio hanging out in the 70s.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

From Hello, Flying Fatality (aka Rosa Diaz the Vampire Slayer): "Okay, we’ll call you Lady Van Helsing, mysterious and leather-clad defender of the night, and I will be Sir Jacob the Tenacious, killer of the vampyres and slayer of the ladies, if you know what I’m saying. Codename: the Fancy Garlic. No, wait—”

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

I've had this Old Guard/Leverage fusion in my head for a good few years now but have never figured out what the actual caper would be. Details under the cut, because I do feel strongly about them, and would be down to collaborate if anyone can tell me what the actual caper would be.

The premise is that Nate's backstory is exactly the same, right up until he actually does drink himself to death after losing Sam, and—lo and behold—he wakes up again. Being Nate, he figures out the basics of what's happening (if not why) and, based on the dreams, tracks down the others to meet up.

Hardison is the next-"youngest," having died for the first time somewhere in the American South in the early nineteenth century. He's spent his immortality leveraging whatever technology is available to fuck with wealthy people and empower those without—so, confounding bloodhounds with the Underground Railroad, robbing robber barons, eventually defrauding the Bank of Iceland, etc. (Part of the actual writing of this would be crafting that backstory in a way that's not, like, exploitative and flat-out racist, just for the record.)

Eliot died fighting in the American Revolution, on the side of the U.S. He's since been every kind of soldier for the cause, in and out of the light, but if Vietnam didn't break him than the Bush Administration(s) definitely did. He switched to mercenary work at some point but has always kinda felt he could be doing something "better" with this immortality thing.

Sophie was a traveling player in the Middle Ages somewhere, and while she probably did not die of the Black Plague, she and her troupe may have been accused of spreading it. Or perhaps she just got caught admiring some manor lord's décor by someone with a short temper. Or not. Who's to say? Since then, she's mostly been flitting around impersonating her own aristocratic descendants in several European countries, buying and/or stealing art, and doing a spot of wealth redistribution when it suits her.

Parker...no one knows how old Parker is, or how she originally died, or where she's from. It's unclear if she does. But she is the best of the best at what she does, which is stealing and hoarding and flying solo, and also occasionally teaching kids how to crime. (She did, for a short time, have a mentor whose name sounded something like Archie to modern ears, but that's how she knows they can die. So she doesn't get close now.)

Key here is that the others have never met before. They've all had the dreams, they've just had their own things going on and no real interest in the others. (Hardison: "And what, like I'm gonna be friends with the guy who spent the whole Civil War in gray?" Eliot: "Damn it, Hardison, I was a spy for Grant!" Parker: "Which Civil War?" Eliot: [sputters])

But something about Nate's journey to date has them all under threat. This is where the caper needs to come in. Presumably someone (Sterling? Dubenich?) found out about Nate, and by extension the others, so they have to work together to eliminate the evidence of their existence and con whoever into believing they are not immortal. But I don't know what that is in practice, and I don't expect the Leverage crew to leave quite the trail of bodies that the Old Guard does in the movie. Think more extreme hacking plus over-the-top performance kinda con—very Leverage, minimal actual non-Eliot violence.

Somewhere in the course of that caper, we meet Harry, who's pieced together the holes in history where these people fit in and realized they did some good, if not always on purpose. But he's given the information to the bad guys, and now he feels quite bad about it. I think Breanna is an enterprising intern (?) of some sort who has been quietly following all of this and is thrilled to pitch in in some fashion.

Once things are resolved, the team goes through the same "no repeats" routine that they do in "The Nigerian Job," and then they almost immediately realize that they all belong together and could do something special and meaningful with their collective talents. (Plus, the dreams have stopped now that they met, so they just might have to keep in touch the regular way. You know. If they want to. Possibly Hardison is already drawing up plans for their own Avengers Tower.)

[liesmyth]

mutual of my heart, what is the difference between shipping the formula 1 guys and the nascar guys?¿?

the difference is that I'm a NASCAR hater. what's the point of having your local own league when you could be racing all around the world! it's like baseball, I know it's a thing but ??? not mine

otoh F1 is a cockfest (only just announced their ~female drivers academy this year. 2022) and NASCAR has a handful of female drivers. they're all hot, so if I was into racing RPF I would go for them

[wander-wren]

Wren’s Concept Box

i always have a thousand ideas for different fics in my head, so this is where i keep track of them! since these are just ideas i’m throwing around, you’re also welcome to take them for yourself, as long as you tell me so i can go see it and hype you up!!

my current wips generally take priority, but i’m always down to just chat about everything here. i’m also a rlly big pushover and easily convinced to write things, lol, so do with that what you will. obligatory disclaimer that there’s no guarantee i’ll write anything here, and if i stop being interested in a concept i’ll delete it.

Upcoming Fics

these fics are almost certainly going to be written eventually bc they’re connected to current wips/completed fics, i just haven’t gotten to start them yet.

three of swords- power of three rewrite following my other rewrite fics. main changes: three are born in windclan, sol actually has a purpose, and their powers have been…reimagined. also hollyleaf has a power.

sign of the four- omen of the stars rewrite. main changes: dovewing is the fourth cat, not firestar. other changes TBD.

hold my hand (i’ll lead you through)- working title, third installment in the emetophobic!adam verse, but WAY fluffier than the others. more montage/character study style of the gangsey helping adam.

Other Ideas

everything not 90% guaranteed. ordered alphabetically by fandom, and in no particular order after that. a few have titles, most don’t.

BNHA

there’s beauty in the bleeding (at least you feel something)- touch-starved!todoroki who doesn’t know how to get touch except via sparring. eventually some?? people?? figure it out and there is fluff

snowed in- huddling for warmth/mission gone wrong bkdk with todoroki third wheeling, and potential ot3?

only time we’ve held hands (i threw a punch and you caught it)- the title is the concept i just Like It. definitely bkdk, maybe…soulmark fic? idk.

dabihawks old guard au- i wrote in this universe for whumptober and had a lot of fun, so i’m definitely down to write a full longfic with it at some point. when i have fewer longfics in progress lol.

The Old Guard

joenicky character study- them through the ages. for the express purpose of writing their final death bc i have Thoughts and Opinions on it but i don’t just want to write it by itself, yknow?

The Raven Cycle

gansey and the ship of theseus- the world needs more gansey angst! i imagine my guy has weird feelings about being resurrected twice. sarchengsey roadtrip era

pynch & possession- just adam post That Scene at the end of the raven king hating himself/being terrified bc he hurt ronan

cambridge, take two- a different version of ronan going to harvard in cdth, with no murder crabs but still angst. honestly i don’t remember what i thought with this and my notes have like no details but i’m intrigued.

soulmarks- au where people get to choose soulmates, and they can be unrequited. once you choose someone, a mark appears on the first place they touched you, like a tattoo, that represents them. if they choose you back, same thing. ik that destroys the idea of soulmates but i like the idea of the gangsey choosing to be bound to each other.

pynch mind reading- after cabeswater possesses adam, either he can hear ronan’s thoughts or ronan can hear adam’s, or both. then they fall in love, or something.

genderbent pynch- no thoughts i just rlly like lesbians. girl!ronan owns my entire soul.

Six of Crows

character studies- thats all, just. getting in their heads. a little series. i have a nina one i wrote for a friend as a gift but that was like two years ago and i’m afraid to check if it holds up. but i like doing them.

Warriors

mosskit lives au- i had this idea ages ago where mosskit survives and somehow manages to reach bloodclan? and becomes it’s leader instead of scourge? idk about the logic there. but they (they’re nonbinary to me) are obsessed with revenge on bluestar and become the Actual big bad of tpb, pulling the strings on everything.

swiftgorse- i was introduced to swiftpaw/gorsepaw and idk what i’d do with it but i’m very interested

Welcome to Night Vale

ripping at the seams- cecil finally cracks under the pressure of being night vale’s voice. the “stuck in my booth, only able to narrate and not to help” quote inspired this.

carlos 113 aftermath- i have a note about carlos learning about the events of 113 and freaking out but i don’t fully remember that episode or my thought process. i’m still intrigued.

[converse-luke]

Me: and Nicky’s siblings are mean and terrible!!

Also me: but what if one of them wasn’t

Me, tearing up: what if one of them wasn’t