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johnstock17 · 26 days

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Genshin Haul: Childe and Zhongli go clothes shopping (part 2)

The curtain of the fitting room swished open, revealing Childe in his chosen ensemble. He struck a pose reminiscent of a dashing hero from a tale of old, one hand on his hip and the other flourishing an imaginary cape.

"Behold!" he declared with a playful grin, "What do you think?"

Zhongli, who had been patiently waiting outside, raised an eyebrow before allowing his gaze to leisurely travel up and down Childe's form. The outfit made quite the statement.

It was a streetwear outfit that combined the practicality of a traveler with the sleek style of urban fashion.

He was wearing a fitted, dark gray hoodie with intricate gold embroidery along the sleeves, echoing the designs of the Liyue Qixing. The hoodie’s high collar and asymmetrical zip gave it a modern edge, while the deep hood added an air of mystery. Underneath, he sported a simple black t-shirt with a small Fatui emblem subtly printed on the chest.

For bottoms, Childe opted for slim, black cargo pants that were both comfortable and functional, featuring multiple pockets with brass zippers and buttons. His footwear consisted of sleek, black combat boots with gold accents, providing durability and style. A wide, red sash was tied loosely around his waist, adding a pop of color. To complete the look, he wore fingerless gloves and a silver chain bracelet, blending the rugged with the refined.

"Pretty interesting," Zhongli murmured, his tone light. "It is certainly a testament to your… unique taste."

Childe pouted, feeling a twinge of disappointment at Zhongli's lack of enthusiasm. "Come on, you can be honest with me. I can take it."

The corners of Zhongli's lips twitched ever so slightly. "Very well. While the outfit does possess charm, and overall gives off a cohesive energy, I believe the effect would be more harmonious if you were to choose one or two core pieces, and let the rest be small accents."

As he paused, the other man stood in silence, taking in his words. So, he finished his thought in a more direct manner.

“In simpler words, it’s too much.” he concluded.

“Ah, well, I guess I can see it.” Childe chuckled. “Noted. Let’s get into the next one then.”

As he retreated into the dressing room, the older man surveyed their surroundings in a leisurely way while thinking to himself. This is nice, he thought. I never would have thought of this as a fun plan, but I guess you can’t really grow if you don’t try new things. I might even get an outfit for myself. I’ve been meaning to try wearing more lively colors.

The rustling of the curtain shook him from his thoughts. From a gap between it and the wall emerged the animated expression of his companion.

“So,” Childe said while making a face that read sorry about this, “I know you said to not overdo it.” Zhongli opened his mouth to say something, but he cut him off. “But! Just hear me out. Isn’t this a great fit?” he asked lightly as he jerked the whole curtain open.

He donned a multicolored, patchwork jacket that mixed bright hues of red, yellow, blue, and green, with each section featuring a different pattern—stripes, polka dots, and checkers. The jacket’s exaggerated, oversized collar and wide, flared cuffs gave it a whimsical, almost jester-like appearance.

Underneath, Childe wore a fitted shirt with puffed sleeves, adding to the outfit’s quirky charm. His pants were equally eye-catching—bright red with large, mismatched patches sewn onto the knees and thighs. A pair of green suspenders held the pants up. His footwear was equally eccentric: pointed-toe shoes adorned his feet. The right shoe was a sterile white color, while the left one was pitch black.

To complete the ensemble, Childe wore a large hat in bright purple, with a single, oversized feather stuck into the band.

Zhongli erupted into laughter at the sight. He looked like a festival jester. Utterly ridiculous, but still charming. This joyous sound of his laugh bounced off and infected Childe, who started cackling as well.

The two men laughed for a good moment, fueled by how ridiculous the outfit looked when Childe was bending over, trying to catch his breath.

Once they finally managed to calm down, Zhongli, back to his more reserved demeanor, finally said, “I don’t know what to say. This is either the single most atrocious outfit ever put together, or it’s the next step in fashion evolution.”

Still lightly chuckling, the redheaded man said “I’m just messing with you. Even I have my limits.” He then continued as he started removing the attire, starting with the dense jacket, “Although, I would like your opinion on how I could make a colorful getup work. Kind of like this style, except not lunatic.”

Zhongli stroked his chin as he mulled it over. “Well, while I appreciate your enthusiasm for bold patterns, perhaps consider balancing them with more subdued colors Like wearing a lively shirt, but with toned down pants that will allow it to stand out. Or a solid-colored jacket tends to work well”

Childe pondered Zhongli's words, appreciating both the advice and the opportunity to learn from someone as refined as him. "You might be onto something there," he admitted, mentally noting which pieces could be adjusted to achieve the perfect balance between extravagance and elegance.

"Furthermore," Zhongli continued as he pointed at the jacket that was now folded on his arm, "you may wish to consider the fit of your garments. Proper tailoring can accentuate one's natural physique quite a lot."

"I’d agree with you, except my physique is already flawless.” The makeshift model said with a smirk.

A slight blush crept up on Zhongli’s face as he replied “I’m serious. Besides the jacket being too big, the pants are too high waisted, and your shirt is not proportioned correctly. The seams where the center piece meets the sleeves should be right over your shoulder line, right now it’s too wide”

“Huh,” Childe flashed a humble smile, “I honestly did not know that. How do I even fix that?”

“Well,” he said as he stood up and approached the booth, “I guess it would require stitching. Probably along these spots here. Look.”

Zhongli finished his approach and was now face to face with him. Without saying a word, he, feigning nonchalance, placed his hands on the shirt.

Childe couldn't help but feel a thrill run through him as Zhongli's fingers adjusted the fit of his clothes, guiding him towards a more refined presentation. The dark-haired man placed his determined hands on his arms and pinched the fabric, lifting it until it rose to his shoulders. He then kept them near his collarbone with a focused gaze.

“Yes, that would work.” He said with a slight smile, eyes not meeting Childe’s.

"Got it," Childe mumbled, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as he struggled to focus on anything other than the tantalizing warmth of Zhongli's presence. "I'll keep that in mind."

They stood close to each other, neither daring to breathe. Childe cursed his own awkwardness, and, to break the tension, said the first thing that came to his mind.

“And what had you said about the pants?” Childe asked in a low voice, his sheepishness surprising him.

“Ah. Yes. The pants.” The other man, still close to him, said. “They’re too high waisted. Besides taking off the stupid suspenders,” they both chuckled for a second, dissipating some of the tension, “you could probably stitch it in the sides so it’s a tighter fit.”

After hesitating for a moment, Zhongli’s hands began traveling downwards, toward the hem of the pants. Childe didn’t protest, he just stood in attentive silence.

Just as Zhongli began to crouch down and place his hands on Childe’s waistband, the store's door flew open with a bang.

Lumine burst into the shop, her golden hair streaming behind her like a comet's tail, her eyes alight with urgency. "Childe!" she exclaimed, barely sparing a glance at his attire. "I must speak with you immediately!"

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roleplayreference · 8 months

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Type of commission: Half body simple color

Name: Jace Landon Tumblr: https://jacelandon.tumblr.com/ Facial likeness: Tom Blyth (Pictured above on 1st row) Fandom: World of Warcraft Race: Half-Elf (Half Quel'dorei, half human) Skin Tone: Slightly tanned Ears: Shorter than typical elves in Warcraft (example shown above on 2nd row, 1st picture) Eyes: Deep blue with a very faint glow. Eyebrows are normal and not crazy long like you may see for a lot of Warcraft elves. Hair: Brunette, slightly curly, usually messy. Kept usually short-ish, (example shown above on 2nd row, 2nd picture) Build: He’s 6′0″, ectomorph, slender but toned Distinguishing Features: Nails painted black Clothing: Very 'boho' style, pretty much like the picture below, including the hat and the dangling suspenders and opened shirt. Lots of layered necklaces with various charms (no crosses), lots of leather and beaded bracelets, lots of chunky rings, and small dangling feathers for earrings. Suspenders and hat could be a darker purple, he also likes to wear a lot of green and yellow to match the logo for the Darkmoon Faire (will see that below for tattoos)

Scars: Has a few long, thin scars on his biceps and forearms. Tattoos: Music staff w/notes on the top of both middle fingers, tree sound waves on his inner right forearm, Darkmoon Faire symbol on his left pec (Not the flag background, just the green diamond and everything within), violin on his inner left forearm (and ‘musical DNA’ running down his spine which won't be pictured) See below images

Piercings: Earlobes pierced twice with small gold hoops in upper one, and dangling feathers in lower. Jewelry: Always wear a gold necklace with an evil eye pendant (shown below). Other layered necklaces can just be beaded or have various non-religious charms dangling from them. Bracelets are leather corded or cuffs, or made of beads. Rings are chunky with various colored crystals. All in various colors! Pose: Similar to the picture above under 'Clothing'! Although instead of just holding whatever that is over his shoulder, if he could have an acoustic guitar strapped to his back, with his raised hand gripping onto the guitar strap instead that would be perfect! Personality/Expression: Free-spirited, a definite showman and oozing with charm and charisma. He's handsome and mysterious and he knows it, so a little smirk is always nice! History: He's a musician within the Darkmoon Faire, and is a musical prodigy of sorts.

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thecallahanlegacy · 1 year

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ROYAL WEDDING OF HATTENBURGH & CAMBRIDGE with OLIVIA MALTLEY on CHANNEL 84 O’WILTA NEWS

(Wedding photo album included)

“Within the walls of the Cambridge Royal Cathedral in the countryside of O’Wilta, Eastland, Simlandovian and Eastland history will be made in real time, right before our very eyes.

The Cambridge Royal Cathedral, located in the countryside of O’Wilta, Eastland

“The families of both wedding parties will be arriving shortly, but let’s take a moment to introduce our country’s new Princess, Nora Hattenburgh. At just sixteen, she graduated high school and entered university at Britechester. Now seventeen, she is to wed our Prince Frederick, soon-to-be King, and the two will rule two countries simultaneously, a first for both Simlandovia and Eastland, as this has only happened elsewhere due to the acquisition of a country.

(L to R) Their Royal Highnesses Prince George, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, Princess Amalia, Prince-Consort William

“First to arrive is the bride’s family, the Hattenburghs. The men present themselves in sleek black suits while the women stand out in shades of purple. Queen Elizabeth stands vibrantly in a royal purple number: a simple sleeveless dress matched with the same colored heels and floral fascinator. Princess Amalia steps back with a pastel purple floral dress and fascinator, paired well with white heels with gold accents.

“It is understood that Princess Nora arrived early in the afternoon by private jet to the cathedral in order to best prepare herself for her big day!

(L to R) Their Royal Highnesses Crown Prince Frederick, Princess Louisa, Princess Celina Fontane (not visible), Her Majesty Queen Gloria, Prince Stephon, His Majesty King Alexander, Prince Eric

“The next to arrive is the groom’s family, the Cambridges. Prince Frederick is seen donning a military uniform from the Royal Eastland Blue, which matches the Queen’s pastel blue dress and feathered fascinator. Princess Louisa arrived in a pastel pink jumpsuit and fascinator with white heels and fascinator ribbon details, while her daughter, Princess Celina, rocked a light purple dress and shoes. Prince Stephon "didn’t want to overdress” and sported a simple blue dress shirt and tie with brown pants, meanwhile the King and Prince Eric decided to ‘go big or go home’, with the King’s fashionable navy blue jacket and floral embroidered dress shirt combined with brown- almost purple- dress pants. Prince Eric showed up in his bright tan and white suit.

(L to R) The Queen Mother Catherine, Prince Lucian, Princess Beatrice, Duke Joseph, Princess Annabelle

“The third group to arrive to the event included the Callahans and Duboses. Catherine rocked a royal blue knee-length dress and feathered fascinator, alongside Prince Lucian who matched his mother with a royal blue suit jacket and black pants. Princess Beatrice, the Queen Mother’s fourth grandchild, made her first formal engagement appearance with a lovely baby blue knee-length dress with matching low heels and floral fascinator. Duke Joseph contrasted the group with a bright yellow suit jacket and black pants, and Princess Annabelle looked professional as ever in a long bright green pleated dress and jacket with a matching green hat.

(L to R) RA Peter Cash, LIW Annette Almin, RR Mirabel Regan

“And now for the unexpected arrival of Princess Nora’s new Royal Advisor and Lady-In-Waiting, dressed in a matching blue and white ensemble. The unexpected guest of the evening was Royal Report’s very own Mirabel Regan, who dressed to impress in a bright yellow knee-length dress and matching ribbon fascinator.

“And now, without any hesitation, shall we proceed with the event of the evening, and bare witness to the royal wedding of Frederick Cambridge and Nora Hattenburgh!

(L to R) Prince-Consort William, Crown Princess Nora

“Her Royal Highness is wearing a gorgeous off-shoulder lace wedding gown with a cathedral train, accented nicely with a sapphire and diamond parure. She’s being escorted down the aisle by her father, the Prince-Consort of Simlandovia.

“Smiles and laughter of excitement arose from the wedding couple as they stood across each other, before they gave their vows at the cue of the out-of-frame officiant.

“And when the time finally came, the couple finished the long-awaited event with a historic spousal kiss! All of the wedding guests got up in a round of cheers for the moment as it unfolded.

Wedding photo album:

“Now we see everybody head over to reception!

(L to R) Prince Eric, Prince Frederick, Prince Lucian, Princess Louisa, Princess Nora, Prince Stephon, Duke Joseph

(L to R) Princess Nora, Duke Joseph, Prince George, King Alexander, Princess Annabelle

Newly wed Princess Nora gives her wedding toast

King Alexander speaking with the newly wed Princess Nora

Queen Elizabeth and Nora’s homemade wedding cake

(L to R) Duke Joseph, Princess Annabelle, Prince Frederick, Queen Elizabeth, Princess Nora, RA Peter Cash, Prince George, Prince Lucian, Princess Celina, Prince Stephon

Crown Princess Nora and Crown Prince Frederick cutting their wedding cake

The bride and groom’s first dance under the floral cathedral pergola

The Queen Mother Catherine with Princess Nora, her first born grandchild

(L to R) Prince-Consort William, Crown Princess Nora, Queen Elizabeth

The parents of the bride

(L to R) Princess Amalia, Princess Nora, Prince George

(L to R) Queen Gloria of Eastland, Queen Elizabeth of Simlandovia, Crown Princess Nora, Crown Prince Frederick, Prince-Consort William of Simlandovia, King Alexander of Eastland

(L to R) Prince Stephon, Crown Prince Frederick, Prince Eric

(L to R) Queen Gloria, Princess Nora, Queen Elizabeth

Queen Gloria and Princess Nora holding hands in wedding photo

(L to R) Princess Amalia, Princess Nora, Princess Louisa

Newly wedded Prince Frederick and Princess Nora

“And that sure is a wrap for this wonderful wedding event, and a bookmark in time as history continues to be made! Thank you for joining us for live coverage, and we will surely return with more royal news!”

#sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 family #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 wedding #sims 4 royal story #sims 4 royal family #sims 4 royal legacy #sims 4 royal simblr #sims 4 royal wedding #sims 4 series #sims 4 royal series

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witchesoz · 1 year

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Fashion in Oz: The Good Witches (6)

Moving on to another Oz adaptation: The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, which - being based on the original book - has two good witches instead of one. Here we have the Good Witch of the North, who is basically sporting on a sexier version of the Good Witch's original look (because that's Miss Piggy, she has to be sexy in every scene she is). I mean, you have the pointy hat (though without the bells, making it more like a witch hat, it rather has a white-translucid veil on it), the white hair and a white dress like in the original, with the addition of white gloves and a more traditional "magic wand with the star at the top". You might have noticed the Good Witch's color motif here is entirely white (which isn't the color of all witches in this iteration, just the North Witch's color). But the dress is definitively much sexier than what the Good Witch would have originally worn - with quite a prominent cleavage, and the sleeves being of the same translucid material than the witch's hat-veil. Of course, I also have to leave this clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdIAWaFoXUs

As for the Muppet's version of Glinda... she is basically Miss Piggy. Just Miss Piggy in Oz X) Mind you, she still has her own color palette - here a sort of mauve/lavender purple, with elbow-sized gloves, a big-cleavage sleeveless dress (just like her sister of the North), and the addition of a feather boa. Oh, and she also has blond hair, to match the idea of varying hair colors (East's red, West's black, North's white, South's blond)

I've got one more show to end this series, which won't be this one but the next. This one is the anime adaptation of the Wizard of Oz. Not, not the movie adaptation, because that would be too many adaptations - rather the television series based on several of Baum's books. It is "Ozu no Mahotsukai" (or rather Ozu no Mahoutsukai), and this is their depiction of the Good Witch of the North. As you can see, they actually tried to stick to the original book description, of a little old woman with a pointy hat and a simple dress. They even went to the extend of adding the ruff collar, the similarly wavy end-of-sleeves, and a little magic wand with an N at the top. They didn't include the bells around the hat though, but I think no one does that to better have the witch be separated from the Munchkins. What the anime did add or change was making the Good Witch actually fat, the addition of little glasses, the detail of her having stripped socks (probably to evoke the stripped socks of the Wicked Witch), the addition of a cape in her back, and finally the color of her outfit, which goes from white to here orange. I guess they didn't want her to detone too much with the fantastical and weirdly-colored landscape they had created for Munchkinland, and wanted to rather give her a more... a warmer, softer color indicating she is indeed a nice little grandma-witch. (The fact they gave her a cape, stripped socks and a pointy hat makes me think maybe they tried to subvert the MGM movie - because in this movie, a cape with dress, stripped socks and pointy hat are the iconic look of the Wicked Witch(es). I don't remember any other Witch character, in the various adaptations, wearing a cape... so maybe this was the anime's attempt at truly making a reverse-Wicked Witch)

And we get to the second Good Witch of "Ozu no Mahoutsukai" - Glinda, the Witch of the South! Here we also have some major changes compared to the book counterpart... She is definitively young and good-looking, and she has notes of white in her design - from her pale white skin to the white cape behind her back (which isn't actually white, but translucid, as you can see here:

We also have some slight... "sexification" if I could say, with a sleeveless dress with a clear division between the skirt and a very torso-fitting bodice that visibly closes on the chest. We find back a headwear of royalty, here a silvery diadem. As for the color palettes, it is a bit muted here, but this Glinda has the usual choice of turquoise (for her hair and her skirt) and pale pink (for the bodice part of her dress, as well as the rest of her palace). You can see the color more vividly here:

Overall this has to be one of the most unusual Glindas I have seen, to be fair, due to how... well, unusual her design is here. Or maybe it is just me?

#oz #fashion in oz #good witches #the good witch of the north #the good witch of the south #glinda #the wizard of oz #ozu no mahoutsukai #The Muppets Wizard of Oz

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mrslitmus · 2 years

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Trapped In The Deep Blue (F/O List)

Key:

🧡 Sexual

💜 Romantic

💛 Platonic

🤍 Queerplatonic

💙 Long-term committed

💚 Familial (sibling)

🤎 Familial (child)

🖤 Situational

I don't mind sharing F/Os. Just please do not overwrite my headcanons, Our F/Os can be the same characters, but separate.

Dominic Drago💜🧡 TW Cigar

Show/Comic: Lackadaisy

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Pronouns: He/him Age: 37 Powers: Detective skills and very good at reading others.

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Aesthetics: Smoke, grey fur, sweater vests, ties, suits, storms. Voice: Smooth, confident, and a bit snarky/playful. Usually nice to others though, just rather teasing.

Meets S/I when she is put into jail after being backcrossed by Asa/her employer.

SI Info: Felicia Harbor

Gabriel💜🧡

Show: The Mandela Catalogue

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Pronouns: He/its Age: Unknown Powers: Can appear as an angel and stretch form.

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Aesthetics: Weeping angels, cloudy skies, dark voids, gravestones, smog. Voice: Calm and often speaks in an authoritive but kind voice. Other times whispers with a more menacing air about him.

Meets S/I when she was having a strange nightmare. Is the only F/O that visits her as "Jane".

Mischief💜/🤍/🖤

Show: Interface by u m a m i

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Pronouns: He/him Age: Unknown Powers: Can shift form to be anything he wants.

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Aesthetics: Pink, vehicles with faces, clowns, circuses, weirdcore places. Voice: Deep and raspy, but kind and gentle in its own way.

Meets S/I in the hospital after encountering the horrific side of wonderland.

Dr. Habit (Tw Body Horror)💜

Game: Smile For Me #toothlily💐

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Pronouns: He/they Age: 37 Powers: A dentist that can take out other people's teeth.

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Aesthetics: Fluffy jacket, pink smoke, big smiles, green skin, top hats, pink, flowers. Voice: Medium jurbeled voice.

S/I met him thanks to Atte and they have been close ever since. Rarely visits his office though, considering. Only on non-work hours.

Cecil Gershwin Palmer 💜🧡

Picrew (made to match @havocfarceur's version of Kevin).

Podcast/Show: Welcome To Night Vale

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Pronouns: They/him Age: Looks to be in his 20s 0r 30s Powers: N/A but very good at surviving.

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Aesthetics: Eyes, purple, dark brown hair, lilac eyes, purple, moon, strange cats.

S/I met when accidentally broke into his recording studio. Was made a surprise guest by Cecil, who did not care that much about the intrusion and was very excited to see someone new.

Howl💜

Movie: Howl's Moving Castle

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Pronouns: He/they Age: 20s Powers: Can turn into a giant bird creature.

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Aesthetics: Black feathers, ravens, blue-black, dark water, sapphires. Voice: Excitable, passionate, and practiced/charming. Can get very dramatic sometimes.

Meets S/I when she gets lost in wonderland and he leads her back home.

Migi (Tw Body Horror)🤍

Show: Parasyte -the maxim-

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Pronouns: It/its Age: Adult Powers: Can temporarily manipulate the hands of others and become a part of them.

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Aesthetics: Body horror, singular eyeball, small axe, hands, hands with eyes, hands with mouths, mouth with lips. Voice: Factual and mellow, but can be quite compassionate when has to and adorably quiet when upset.

Meets S/I when she encounters it in the bathroom. It was washing itself in the sink and overflooding it a bit. She thought it was adorable, when she wasn't so shocked.

The Saint (Tw Body Horror)💛

Game: Close Your Eyes/My Hole is a Mouth of Dirt

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Pronouns: He/they Age: Ancient entity Powers: Unknown but very good at manipulating others and has his religious symbols scattered around.

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Aesthetics: Eyes, altered cross, other religious symbols, chapels, crimson and pink, the underground, record player, white space with a light, blur. Voice: Deep, menacing, and demands worship.

S/I occasionally sees him in visions when in wonderland, judging his actions or merely commenting.

Building 9🤍

Game: Tales From Off-Peak City Vol. 1

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Pronouns: He/they Age: Building Powers: Controls the doors, watches over others, and can eat pizza.

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Aesthetics: "Caution" and "do not enter" signs, big smiles but also tears, number 9, white eyes, crooked buildings, broke down cars, metal doors. Voice: Completely non-verbal/doesn't speak.

S/I often visits him when dropping into wonderland and they both just relax in silence. Feeds him pizza and other foods.

Bad End Joseph (Tw religious imagery)🤍

Game: Dream Daddy

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Pronouns: He/she Age: 30s Powers: A bit of a cultist.

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Aesthetics: Pope outfit, crosses, bags under eyes, blood runes, dark blue. Voice: Average white dude voice. Very stereotypical, though has a bit of rasp to it. Can speak in a deep, demonic voice at times.

S/I occasionally visits him in his demented church and wonderland. Doesn't worship, just talks to him about life and how its been to him (mostly how internalized homophobia hurt him).

Mary (Tw religious imagery, alcohol)💛

Game: Dream Daddy

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Pronouns: She/her Age: 30s Powers: N/A, just a normal human who got lost as well.

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Aesthetics: Wine, crosses, skirts, sweaters, the occult, bibles, hair bands, alcohol. Voice: Very raspy and mature, though sometimes softens when she's feeling motherly.

S/I visits Mary often, asking her for advice as someone who picked wonderland over the "other world". They met at an other world bar, that S/I visited out of curiosity and it is the one Mary runs now that she is divorced from Joseph.

Carnival Hit The Tooth Attendant (Tw Teeth)💜

Game: Smile For Me

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Pronouns: They/he Age: Adult Powers: Made by Doctor Habit and serve as attendants at the carnival. Made of paper and have much flexibility.

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Aesthetics: Paper, teeth, dark pink/red carnival stall, brown and striped curtains, rosy cheeks, wink, smile, "YOU'RE SPECTACULAR!". Voice: High pitch, a bit raspy, and unnatural. Though speaks very kindly and enthusiastically. When upset still maintains enthusiasm and gentleness.

S/I meet them at the carnival, where they taught her not to be afraid of her smile. Seems to see the Jane in her despite her disguise, and wants both versions of her to be happy no matter what. (Atte for short).

Smear💜 (#tuxedofool👁)

Show: SAFE MODE

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Pronouns: It/its/They/their Age: Adult Powers: Extra eyes so can see more.

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Aesthetics: Tuxedos, cars, deserts, showers, waves/squibles. Voice: Deep, raspy, echoed.

S/I is helping Smear on his mission to discover what happened to put the system into safe mode.

The Great Golden Hand (Tw aging)💜

Game: Welcome To Night Vale

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Pronouns: It/its Age: Ancient entity Powers: Its presence speeds up the process of life and death.

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Aesthetics: Clocks, large hand, gold, timer, the sands of time. Voice: N/A.

S/I met it while it was passing by the convention center of wonderland, and has been fascinated by it since (despite the warnings).

#undescribed

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yanban-san · 2 years

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WAIT HOLD ON I HAD AN IDEA!

So with the gift giving of feathers and scales, and the way you describe Emmet’s monster form I was hit in the head with a few ideas.

So male birds are the pretty and flashy ones, so that got me thinking, he is try to be flashy and show off around his darling? Bright vibrant colors, maybe battles, and how pretty he is.

And to piggy back off that, what about gifts from darling? Like homemade chocolates, rocks, shiny things.

Would the two eldritch twins see that as their darling courting them?

And with Ingo being being lizard like and shadowy, aside from scale giving, does he try to give off a comforting scent to show he’s approachable? Or flash a bright color as a warning?

I apologize for the rambling! And possibly flooding your in box, I hope I’m not doing that. I’m very excited and in love with your writing! - noodle

Hnnnnn Noodle I love all of these ideas

I like to imagine Emmet is the bigger show-off of the two- He adores your praise and attention! He wants more! Constantly! He'll practice with his pokemon to perfect elite-rank-contest-worthy attack combos on his opponents to dazzle you. I think he also spends a lotta time grooming and preening his feathers- they're very sensitive to touch as well so they feel very refreshing after he's washed them- and he finds it especially nice if you're the one doing the grooming! And like with his feathers, he's obsessed with keeping his coat and hat and outfit as immaculate as possible- He's practically glowing every time you see him. Ingo might have to point out sometimes that actually, he is glowing- And-people-are-staring-so-please-stop-

He loves light and color and life and vibrancy- After all, he is an eldritch entity of light. ...and other things

While he prefers his light/white aesthetic for himself, His halo has prismatic layers to it that can change the intensity and hue of the radiance he's giving off, making it reflect various colors- All of the colors are fairly intense, but also all tinged with his Eldritch light; Making them, unfortunately, difficult to look at. And of course, he doesn't want you looking around the room for the cast colors- He wants you looking at him! He can flex his wings and feathers to catch all the radiance himself- Making his wings look intensely, eye-catchingly rainbow, or whatever colors are being reflected. Usually, the colors aren't rainbow- but a grouping of similar toned hues as that's what's easiest for him to make.

You'll be coddled in a shimmering feather-nest of warm glittering golds and autumn oranges and yellows and earthen browns and scarlet reds and hints of rosy pink- Or forest greens giving way to skylight blues and cerulean and cyan, flickering like emeralds and sapphires over silver- giving way to deep indigo and violets and amethyst purples and rosy maroons.

Like I said, It's only when he's really trying to wow you that he's busting out making his halo/general radiance super vibrant and prismatic and rainbowy. This also leads to Darling becoming Dazzled by Eldritch lights which Ingo will have to fix

He will gift his darling vibrant colored things and if you really like brightly colored things, he'll accessorize as well; If his hair is long enough for a ponytail, the ties binding it back are colorful. If it's cold, he's wearing a vibrantly colored scarf- that sort of thing! If you catch him outside of Gear Station on the rare occasion he is physically out of the Station, he'll be wearing mostly white/grey/black, with considerably more colored accessories/accents than before. He adores shiny things that reflect his light as well- Especially when you're the one wearing them.

He gets annoyed if you don't notice these things though; He wants your praise and attention, and if the extras aren't wow-ing you he'll move onto something else.

And to piggy back off that, what about gifts from darling? Like homemade chocolates, rocks, shiny things. Would the two eldritch twins see that as their darling courting them?

Gifts are a big thing for soulmates to share- Ingo and Emmet are aware you can't exactly do any Eldritch magic stuff on your own, and ergo can't give them what they'd consider normal gifts- But you can give them human gifts, and they love it. If it's before you're dating, then they absolutely take it to mean you're trying to court them- And they're probably right- And are responding accordingly.

They especially like gifts that take time and effort to prepare. You've been thinking of them the whole time you've been making those chocolates, pouring your love and energy into them! They may have to shoo you out of their office after you give them such treats, however- As it's difficult for them to remain human when they're so very elated.

Also, being weird eldritch-demon things, they love offerings and rituals- I can see them handing Darling a pair of Grimoires; Sucker for Love style ones that detail not how to get them to do stuff for you, but their favorite offerings, incantations, ritual-space preparations, incenses they like, etc.

One's black as night, etched with a silver insignia that has a shape vaguely like an upwards-pointing triangle; And the other one's blindingly silver-white and shiny, etched with a tar-black insignia looking vaguely like a downwards facing triangle. I also think the whole "Eldritch entities like being worshiped by humans" is partially why Emmet likes being praised so much. (On that note Ingo also likes it but doesn't really realize how much he likes it- Until Darling starts laying the praise on thicc, and from then on when he's particularly deep in the brainrot he'll beg for praise as well, if you aren't already complimenting him and showering him with your love.)

And with Ingo being being lizard like and shadowy, aside from scale giving, does he try to give off a comforting scent to show he’s approachable? Or flash a bright color as a warning?

I imagine Ingo's preferred method of courting would be to show off that he's an excellent protector and supporter. He really likes to lean over or hover around you- You'll probably feel a little hazy while he's doing this, unless it's after they start dating you, in which case he doesn't need to make you hazy-headed to get you to be blissfully unaware that he's extremely close and leaning over you in a way your boss should not be.

Also if he did give off a scent (IDK what scent to give him but I'm sort of imagining that he'd smell like incense of some kind because eldritch occult monster guy or possibly warm bread because warm bread is comforting and the only scent I can think of right now b/c I just made bread and it's the only thing I can smell) of any kind, I think he'd try to rub it off on Darling- And you can't quite remember where you picked up this lovely scent on your skin and clothes, but even after you wash you can still smell it on you.

I think Ingo would have less "warning signs" than Emmet does- Eldritch Demons normally have only one warning they issue; They'll tell the offender something along the lines of "You're not wanted here, go away," or other appropriate phrases depending on what sort of harassment they're receiving; And then go back to doing whatever they were doing.

Attempting to harass an Eldritch Entity even more after this warrants them preparing to attack.

Emmet's feathers become rigid and pointed- The fur on his body falling flat and becoming coarse and rough and sharp, and he'll drag his clawed feet along the ground- Tearing up the Earth before launching himself at his opponent in a bullet-fast flurry of knife-sharp feathers covered in thousands of needles- And burning radiance.

If someone's managed to piss off Ingo enough (Congratulations how the heck did you manage that?!) to get him ready to attack though... His coat starts fraying at the edges, dripping into shadows and darkness and his hands are curling weirdly into claws as he gradually loses more and more of his form- a shambling mass of shadows, dripping with ashen venom and malice for whomever is in front of him. And the only indications there's anything within the shadows is the strange, silvery slitted lights peering out from the depths, and occasionally, a shape of a tail or claws or the mouth from which the acrid venom is drooling out. Whatever the shadows touch melds into them- losing it's shape and it's life. Ingo does not need to move fast to take down an enemy, either. His enemy lost the moment the shadows touch them- And they'll be eaten away by the darkness until all that remains of them is nothing.

It's worth saying tho that neither of them, however, have really encountered anything in the pokemon world strong enough to warrant an old fashioned Eldritch showdown- In this realm, they both just probably issue their warnings and then if the idiot continues to bother them, they just go snap and the bother is gone. (Unless they were trying to impress you. Then maybe they'll show you how scary they can be!)

I also love love love the idea of Ingo flashing a bright color as a warning sign too adkajd that is so good; Like some enemy has managed to piss off The Eldritch Entity of Darkness so much he's giving off so much magical energy and malice that it actually turns into a bright aura around him, electrifying the air and settling over his scales in a stark contrast- The colors themselves would have a violent feel to them, if that makes sense. Looking at this entity's scales, which are naturally and meant to be dark, black voids- To see them so horrifyingly vibrant feels inherently wrong and sickening. And it is. The colors are disorienting and painful and getting worse every second the victim looks at them-

And it's the last thing they'll ever see.

#Demon AU #Monster AU #Demon Submas #Monster Submas #Emmet X Reader #Ingo X Reader #Ingo/Reader #Emmet/Reader #I have brainrot #<3

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fancyfade · 2 years

Photo

NTT characters in the mid 2000s by Fade31415

[image: a DC fanart with a simple shading style (like cell shading) featuring characters from new teen titans, each wearing civilian clothing that was popular in the 2000s. Raven is wearing a floor-length jean skirt and a spaghetti strap top, and she is crossing her arms and looking down at tara disapprovingly. Tara is wearing loose cargo pants (with zip at the knee to transform into shorts) and a brown T shirt, and she is sticking her tongue out at raven and flipping her off. Victor is wearing denim capris and an orange turtle neck shirt with a knit grey hat, and he has one arm around Tara and one around Kory and is looking down at tara while smiling slightly but also trying to pull her a bit away from raven. Kory is wearing a skin tight tube top rainbow striped dress and pink platform heels, and she has one arm behind vic and is smiling widely. dick and donna are clustered together. Donna is wearing very low cut boot cut jeans with a wide belt and a crop top red shirt and a pink cap, and dick is wearing skinny jeans, red shoes, a vest and a white t shirt. garfield logan is wearing khaki cargo pants and a white hoodie that has his face on it and says “we love gar” and a black trucker hat with a purple visor, and wally is wearing jeans and a yellow polo.end image]

So I am a huge DC nerd and keep a continuously updating timeline to try to figure out when comics "would" have happened if now is the present.

According to my timeline, NTT should be 2007/2008 ish when it just starts.

So... I had to draw them in 2000s era fashion obviously! Since I am extremely Un Fashionable, I had to google what people wore back then even tho I was alive. I can remember the cargo pants. I was so into cargo pants. I think I had some that were just like Terra's

further decisions:

@raven-harlot wound up pickng out raven’s outfit when i was posting potential ref pics in discord XD

Tara is dressed how I would like to dress back then, but she has the feathered hair i didn’t have. she’s flipping off raven b/c she doesn’t like her. vic is telling her to be nice b/c he likes tara AND raven

raven knitting vic’s knit hat. but not his turtle neck, he bought that.

i wound up changing how i draw kory’s hair b/c i have a hard time drawing it in the perez style.

gar has a fanshirt of himself.

wally just wound up in a polo and jeans b/c i cannot imagine him keeping up on fashion trneds sorry wally. i also reffed a long distance runner for his body type and he looks so scrawny now XD

#my art #dc fanart #the new teen titans #ntt #dc comics #raven #tara markov #victor stone #koriandr #donna troy #dick grayson #garfield logan #wally west #teen titans

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cuuno-moved · 4 years

Text

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL JACOBS:

Your name is Karl Jacobs.

That is very important. You cannot forget that.

You have two husbands, named Alex and Sapnap Jacobs.

Alex goes by Quackity, or Q, sometimes. He calls you mi amor (my love) and mi vida (my life). You call him darling and sunshine. He’s the smaller one, with the messy dark hair and brown skin. He wears a hat all the time, and has an eyepatch.

Sapnap calls you froggy, and sugar. You call him panda and cupcake. He’s the big one, with the shoulder length hair (usually in a man-bun), earrings and eyebrow slit. He looks a little bit mean, but he’s the sweetest guy on earth.

You live in a big house, with a red door.

If Sapnap brings home a cat, let him keep it.

If either finds a spider, you’ll have to kill it.

DO NOT TOUCH QUACKITY WITHOUT WARNING ESPECIALLY ON THE HIPS OR SHOULDERS.

Remember to water the plants.

You wash the dishes on Fridays.

If Quackity has a panic attack, sit beside him, hug him, and rub his back.

If Sapnap has a panic attack, move away, sit with your back to the opposite wall and talk to him.

If you have a panic attack, don’t let them know, press your hands to your chest and count the breaths. Sometimes it helps to list things you can see in your head.

The code to the security system is 1144.

You sleep in the middle, with Alex on the left and Sapnap on the right. If Sapnap snores, try to roll him on his back. If Quackity starts sleep talking, record it to laugh about later.

You always wear bright colors. Do not try to wear black or grey, they will get worried. Do not wear white, they will be confused.

If you have a headache, you’re probably having caffeine withdrawal, get a Monster energy from the fridge. You like the white ones most.

Take your meds. You have two, one for adhd and one for anxiety. Take one of each in the morning. Sapnap has meds too, remind him to take them.

Quackity puts cheese in his hot chocolate. Feel free to call it gross, because it is.

If he calls you ‘honey buns’, respond with ‘baby birdie’.

If Sapnap makes jokes about being stupid, tell him to stop. He’s really really smart.

The popcorn is in the cabinet with the seasonings.

Sapnap smokes. Don’t let him know that you know.

Ranboo comes over sometimes, let him have your usual chair. He likes to listen, do not try to pull him into the conversation.

Sapnap’s kale salad is really bad, don’t eat it.

THINGS NOT TO MENTION OR SAY:

Do not call Quackity sweetcheeks. Do not comment on his appearance, especially his ass. Do not yell. Do not drink, or talk about drinking. Do not bring up Schlatt. Do not try to quiet him when he’s excited about something. Do not talk about hearts, or cannibalism, or raw meat.

Don’t say “Come here” to Sapnap. Do not talk about Dream. Do not try to corner him. Do not go near ravines. Do not sing that stupid doo doo doo song that Dream listens to. Do not say “Oh come on” or try and get him to do things he doesn’t want to.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR MEMORY.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND THIS JOURNAL.

Other people: Callahan is the man with antlers. Alyssa is the girl with brown hair. Punz is the one with long white hair and white sweatshirt, their little brother Purpled wears a purple hoodie. Eret is the tall man in the crown with the blank eyes. Ponk is the short South African man with the black sweatshirt. Bad is the demon with the vines growing out of his skin. Ant is the cat. Sam is the green one, with the deep voice and solid black eyes. Vikk and Lazar don’t show up much, but Vikk is the British one, Lazar is the Australian. Connor is the one in the blue hoodie. Techno is the pig (DO NOT TALK TO HIM HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU). Phil is his coworker, the one with the green robes. Tubbo is the thin boy with all the scars. Jack is the one with the missing arm and broken glasses. Foolish is the Totem, he likes you. Charlie is the one with glasses and bad puns. George is the one with white rimmed sunglasses who hangs out with Sapnap a lot. Puffy is the short man with curly hair. Hannah is the one with flowers that grow out of her skin. Ranboo is the half enderman in the suit. Skeppy is the ruby. Niki is the girl with pink hair. Fundy is the fox. HBomb is the one in the flannel, he’s nice. Ghostbur is the ghost. Tommy is dead, do not talk about him.

If Callahan is staring at you, wave and smile. I don’t think he knows. Does he?

For the love of god, do not talk to Corpse. He is really observant, he will notice if you fuck up. IF he corners you, keep a straight face, excuse yourself. DON’T CALL HIM CATBOY. Calling him Crops is okay, he’ll think it’s a dumb nickname.

Fundy doesn’t like it when you bring up the grey in his hair. He’s 18, I don’t know where it came from, but it’s there.

Punz uses they/them, Eret uses all, Ranboo uses he/they/it, Puffy uses she/her

Ranboo is not Charles, or John, or the Butler. Do not make that mistake again. He has paranoia, it will send him into a spiral.

Foolish gets really excited about building. Let him talk. He doesn’t get the chance otherwise.

George is narcoleptic, Quackity makes jokes about it.

Ghostbur and Ranboo also have memory issues, do not bring that up, they will be suspicious. No, Ranboo will be suspicious, I don’t think Ghostbur will remember.

If Punz flirts with you, they’re probably trying to get under Sapnap’s skin. Flirt back if you want, but not too much. Sapnap gets jealous easily, do not be an asshole. Punz doesn’t actually like you romantically, and you obviously don’t actually like them.

If Purpled asks to borrow your stuff, say no, he’s not going to give it back.

Ponk sings sometimes, out of nowhere. Let him. Sing along, maybe, if you can.

Quackity flirts with Bad a lot.

Sapnap flirts with George a lot.

Quackity has wings, he might need help with preening. Just gently run your fingers through the feathers, try to get out any sort of debri or anything.

If your chest starts hurting, stretch your arms up, and out. You are either having a panic attack or you’ve been hunched over for too long.

If you see Puffy rubbing her chest, she needs to take off her binder. Remind her to do that, she will not remember otherwise.

If Tubbo makes you another bracelet, put it on the right, the left arm is for Foolish’ bracelets.

Keep your mind clear, and calm. Smile often, and laugh at Q’s jokes, even if they’re not funny. Try to act normal.

The timeline depends on it.

-KJ

#this is my first time posting my writing on tumblr please give me clout #karl jacobs #quackity #sapnap #karlnapity #dream smp #mcyt #tftsmp #toby writes shit

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i-am-bitterly-jittery · 3 years

Text

Pirate AU

(who needs a real title anyway?)

Word count: 2271

Rating: Teen

Pairings: implied Intrulogical and Roceit

Warnings: allusions to violence

~~~START~~~

It was a foggy day at sea when pirates boarded the Harmonia, so foggy in fact that the crew wasn’t even aware of the pirates until they were already being boarded.

Patton heard the commotion from the medbay, giving him enough time to fumbling around for his dagger. It was in one of the cupboards somewhere, he just had to find it before the pirates found him

No. No. Not that one. No. Ah ha!

Patton reached for the dagger but was stopped by the familiar click of a pistol cocking.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you~” a voice sing-songed behind him. Patton froze. “Turn around, now. C’mon, nice and slow.”

Patton couldn’t help but shake as he turned to face the pirate. He was in no way expecting what he saw.

~~~

Roman felt a hard stone settle in his stomach as the entire crew of the Harmonia was finally subdued. A pirate dressed in all gray with a single golden earring in one ear let out a loud whistle, this was it, he was going to die like this: kneeling on the deck, shot through the head by the pirate currently standing over him, pointing a pistol at the back of his head. A couple of his crew mates were dead already, but most were either subdued in a similar manner as Roman, or tied up like Logan. The Harmonia’s captain was being tied to the main mast by two pirates who were being supervised by the gray one that sent up the call.

A single man crossed the gangplank from the pirate ship to the Harmonia, and the gray pirate yelled “CAPTAIN ON DECK!”

The captain was fairly short in stature, but his presence loomed large. He was dressed as one would expect a pirate captain to dress, in a large black hat with the Jolly Roger painted in white on the front, and a large yellow feather sticking out of it; his coat — which was clearly made with fine fabrics — was deep purple, almost black, with golden details that surely would have sparkled in the sun had the sun been visible; underneath the coat he wore a fine silken tunic with the ties loosened at the top to show off some of his muscular chest; his trousers were almost sinfully tight across his thighs and calves before disappearing under his leather boots.

Half of Roman was terrified for his life and the lives of his friends, but the other half was drooling over the specimen before him — even if it was a pirate.

The most striking thing about the captain, though, were the green-yellow scales that decorated the left side of his handsome face. Those scales alone let Roman know exactly who they were dealing with, the captain of the Lying Serpent himself: Deceit.

“Ah, Captain Williams,” Deceit purred casually, as though he were meeting an old friend at a pub, rather than the tied-up captain of an enemy ship. “You have something that belongs to me, and I’d like it back.”

A shudder goes through the crew of the Harmonia. The tales of Deceit were well known to any god-fearing sailor. If he crossed your path, expect to lose your cargo; if you crossed his path, expect to lose your life.

And Captain Williams crossed his path.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Captain Williams growled as he struggled against his bonds. “I haven’t stolen a thingfrom you.”

“Now, now, Captain,” Deceit tutted slowly. “I haven’t spent the last two months tracking you down just so you could lie to me — me, of all people. So I’ll ask one more time, where. Is. It?”

“Everything on this ship belongs to His Majesty, not you,” Captain Williams replied haughty.

“Very well,” Deceit responded, his tone was light but his expression read of murder. “You,” Deceit suddenly turned to Logan instead. “What is your name?”

“Logan Barrie,” Logan replied evenly — calm even in the face of the most feared pirate captain of their time.

“And what do you do on this ship, mister Barrie?”

“I am the navigator.”

“Are you?” Deceit seemed — dare Roman think it — amusedby Logan’s response, though Roman couldn’t understand why. “Tell me, mister Barrie, where are you headed?”

“Port Royal.” Logan answered easily, not anywhere near as concerned about his wellbeing as Roman was.

“And what are you doing in Port Royal?” Deceit asked as he took to casually leaning on a barrel, as if this conversation were of no concern to him.

“Dropping off our cargo and resupplying, I presume.”

“You ‘presume’?” Deceit quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know?”

“My job is navigation, what happens when we reach our destination is none of my concern.”

The whole ship was captivated by the back and forth between Deceit and Logan, the pirates watch with vague interest, ready in case their captain gave any orders, and the Harmonia’s crew in sick fascination — or just plain horror, in Roman’s case — wondering if Logan would piss Deceit off enough to get run through.

“Quite,” Deceit smirked. “Now tell me, mister Barrie, are there any prisoners aboard this ship?”

“No.”

“Are you quite certain?”

“As certain as I can be.”

“Hmm. One last question then: who is allowed in the Captain’s Quarters?”

“Just Captain Williams and First Mate Bartley.” Logan answered, looking somewhat worried for the first time in his entire conversation with Deceit, as if he’s just now considering that he might have been giving the pirate too much information.

“Thank you, mister Barrie. You’ve been quite helpful,” Deceit said mildly before turning to face Captain Williams again. “REMUS!” He yelled, tone and face taking a complete 180 from casual back to murderous.

Roman flinched at the name. His brother had the same name, except his brother died five years ago in a pirate raid. His ship had been docked at Port Sanders, a port town on a small island in the Caribbean, when the entire town had been razed by pirates. The only survivor had been a prisoner in the jail. Half starved, he’d told a tale of murder and destruction that was enough to make even the most hardened sailor wary.

To Roman’s utter shock/horror/bewilderment, his supposedly dead brother came bounding across the deck dragging a confused Patton behind him. “Yessir.”

“Relieve Captain Williams of his keys, won't you?” Deceit asked. His tone was once again casual but it was clearly an order.

“Aye aye, Cap’n!” Remus let go of Patton and walked straight up to Captain Williams, and, without hesitating, stuck his hand down the man’s pants.

“OI!” Captain Williams yelled, beginning to struggle against his bonds again.

Remus continued his — incredibly intrusive — search completely unbothered by the man in question. After a couple minutes, Roman realized that Remus’ goal was not to find Captain Williams’ keys, but rather to bother him as much as possible. If Roman weren’t so terrified, he’d probably find it comforting that even after all these years, Remus was still Remus.

“THEY’RE IN MY POCKET YOU DEVIL-WORSHIPPING HEATHEN!” Captain Williams yelled after Remus’ fifth pass up his shirt.

“That’s a good boy,” Remus grinned, patting Captain Williams on the cheek condescendingly, before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out the captain’s keys. He tossed Deceit the keys, then finally spotted Roman. “Roro!”

Remus waved off the pirate holding the pistol to Roman’s head and yanked his brother to his feet, then into a hug.

“I’m so happy to see you, Roro! I missed you so much!”

“Remus!? I thought you were dead!” Roman gasped, trying to wriggle out of Remus’ hold so he could get a good look at his not dead brother.

“Nope!” Remus laughed without offering any further explanation.

“You bastard! I thought you were dead!” Roman yells, struggling even more so that he can get out of his hug and punch his brother right in his infuriating face.

“As touching as this is,” Deceit interrupts, looking unimpressed. “I have business to attend to.”

Roman felt dread flood his system, perhaps they’d inadvertently annoyed the pirate captain. He should have been more careful, but he wasn’t expecting his goddamn brother of all people to be here! And a pirate no less.

“You,” Deceit commanded, turning to Patton and tossing the keys at him. “Take me to the captain’s quarters.”

Patton’s eyes darted quickly to Logan before looking back to the pirate and nodding timidly.

Deceit waved his hand in an “after you” gesture, and Patton scurried off towards the officers’ cabins, Deceit following at a more dignified pace.

Roman tried to lunge after them, to stop Deceit from taking Patton, but Remus held him back.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered into Roman’s ear. “Dee won’t hurt Patton.”

“How can you be so sure?” Roman growled, hoping their conversation was quiet enough that none of the nearby pirates could hear.

“Cuz Patton isn’t guilty,” Remus answered with a shrug.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because he’s Patton,” Remus said. “And because you don’t know what’s happening, and I doubt very much that Patton wouldn’t have told you if he knew. Or Logan for that matter. How fun is it that you’re all here! I missed you guys.”

“When I die I’m going to haunt you,” Roman hissed.

“Pff, you wouldn’t last two weeks!” Remus laughed loudly as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Yep, still Remus. “And you’re not gonna die. Not today, anyway, not here.”

“I would believe a word from the mouth of a fucking pirate!” Captain Williams spit out angrily.

“Just because you’re gonna die today, doesn’t mean your crew is going to,” the gray pirate snapped, kicking Captain Williams in the leg. “Which reminds me, Barrie,” he turned to Logan. “Who’s the second mate? He’s being promoted to captain.”

“WHAT!?” First Mate Bartley exclaimed angrily.

The gray pirate turned to him with a bored expression. “Are you the First Mate?”

“What’s it to you, pirate?” He answered.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’, in which case you know what we’re here for, and you know why you’re going to die.”

Bartley’s face went ashen and his mouth snapped shut.

“Thought so,” the pirate muttered, looking back to Logan for an answer.

“That would be mister Hughes,” Logan answered, nodding his head in the direction of the Second Mate.

The pirate nodded and snatched the hat off of Captain Williams’ head. He strides across the deck, stopping just in front of mister Hughes.

“Congratulations on your promotion,” he said, placing the hat on the Second Mate’s head.

“What is happening?” Roman asked Remus, whispering again.

“Dee’s going to kill your captain and First Mate,” Remus whispered back.

“Why?”

“CAPTAIN ON DECK!” The gray pirate yelled again, effectively ending Roman and Remus’s conversation.

The first thing Roman saw was that Patton was crying. He was walking ahead of Captain Deceit, carrying what looked to be an armload of papers and assorted trinkets underneath a purple coat that looked like it matched Deceits except that it was a lighter purple.

Roman struggled against Remus again, he wanted to teach Deceit a lesson for making Patton cry… but then he caught sight of the pirate in question.

Deceit was walking behind Patton, in his arms was a man. The man looked malnourished, and his ragged clothing hung off of his frame like a cape. He seemed to be bleeding from his head and wrists, and every inch of his visible skin was covered in purple bruises. Clearly, the state of this man was what caused Patton to cry.

The worst part was that Roman had never seen this man in his life. The Harmonia had been at sea for weeks now, and he’d never seen his man in all that time.

Remus stiffened at his side, any humor draining from his body.

“Remy!” Deceit snapped, looking like the only thing keeping him from tearing Captain Williams to shreds was the man in his arms. “Escort our new friends to the guest suite.”

“Aye,” the gray pirate replied quietly, clearly as shaken as everyone was.

“Remus, finish up here,” Deceit ordered. “Patton, follow me.”

Deceit stepped onto the gangplank back to the pirate ship. Patton followed wordlessly, visibly shaking.

Roman tried to catch Patton’s eye as he passed, but Patton was crying too hard to see him.

Remy and two other pirates untied Captain Williams and mister Bartley before tying them to each other and escorting them over the gangplank as well. Once they were gone, Remus set the rest of the pirates to untying the rest of Roman’s crew.

“I hope you all learned something here today,” Remus told Harmonia'screw. They all nodded wordlessly, terrified of ending up on any of the pirates' bad sides.

Remus nodded, satisfied, before grabbing Roman and Logan and dragging them to the gangplank.

“You’re coming with us, obviously.”

“What?” Roman demanded. “Why do you think we’d want to be pirates?”

“Well first of all, Patton’s already on our ship,” Remus pointed out. “Second, pirates can have more fun. Third, I missed you and you love me. Fourth, I missed Logan, and I’m not passing up on this opportunity.” Logan blushed at that, but he didn’t say any objection. “Fifth, you think Dee’s hot, and once Virge is okay, Dee’s going to realize that you’re hot too.”

“He makes a good point,” Logan said, still blushing furiously and refusing to meet Roman’s gaze. “Objectively speaking.”

“C’mon Roro,” Remus needled. “If you say no I’m just going to kidnap you anyway.”

“Ugh, fine!” It’s not like he really had a choice anyway.

It looked like they were pirates now.

~~~END~~~

Just to clarify, Janus uses “Deceit” as his pirate name

Getting Out Of Hand

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple

#sanders sides #ts sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #remy sanders #ts dark sides #deceit sanders #roceit #princeit #intrulogical #thursday writes #my writing #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #pirate au

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philza-updates · 3 years

Text

Philza commented on a reddit post!

[Image ID:

There are 3 images.

The first is an r/dreamsmp post by u/_rekou_. It reads “ok so I decided to change a little bit the dseign of momza!! so here she is :D”. The post is tagged as “Fanart”.

The second is the attached image from said reddit post. It shows a vibrantly coloured scene of two figures in a forest with waterfalls in the background. The right side of the image is mostly taken up by a woman, presumably Kristin aka Mumza, larger than a tree with a red and black dress, accented by yellow lace, stitching and flowers and wearing a very broad brimmed dark red hat with a purpur veil, topped with a pile of more of the same yellow flowers and 2 feathers in purple and green. She has another yellow flower in her hair, her visible eye is framed in a dark colour with a petal-like brim, her lips are a dark colour and her cheeks are accented by stars, circles, hearts and yellow spots. Her body is facing the viewer while her face is in profile, facing towards the other figure further down on the left. In the middle of the image is Philza squatting on the branch of a tree, wearing his striped bucket hat, a green robe with yellow hearts on the hem of it and geta on his feet. He is extending a pair of large black wings from his back and holding up a big pile of yellow flowers in his hands. He is fully in profile view and also has hearts, stars and circles by his head. The left side of the image is taken up by various trees and bushes and the entire image has smatterings of yellow/orange flower petals, seemingly originating from a dense row stripe of petals across the top of the image.

The third is a cropped screenshot of a comment on this post by Ph1LzA, which reads “Nice! :D”.

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#ph1lza #philza #mcyt #image id #no id in alt text

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magic-to-write · 2 years

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Once again, sorry this is late. That said may I introduce:

Chapter 4; Dinner and Psychic powers.

Theo and Ridley arrived at the shop; Ridley wore a nice blue dress under her lab coat, Theo was in his tuxedo. The moment they walked in Leila put them to work.

"We're arranging a Magic Misfits centerpiece for the dinner table." Leila said, she was already dressed in her straitjacket; though she'd left the sleeves untied so that she could carry items from the shop.

Ridley looked skeptical, "And why would we want to do that?"

"In honor of two generations of magic clubs." Carter said, bouncing on his heels.

"Plus, seeing how great our magic club is might get Dad talking about the old Emerald Ring." Leila added, tossing Ridley a stuffed parrot.

Glancing around Vernon's Magic Shop made Leila suddenly nostalgic for the time she'd first arrived from Mother Margaret's Home. Walking through that front door, as the little bell sounded over her head, Leila felt like she'd stepped into wonderland she'd only read about in books. The high-ceilinged room contained every color of the rainbow. The windowpanes were painted bright purple and green. The rugs that covered the rickety wood floor swirled with ochre stripes and red dots and yellow lightning bolts. The glass jars filled with toys and tricks reflected sunlight, casting beams into the far corners of the room, catching the glitter embedded in the plaster walls. For a moment, on that first day, Leila had been certain that it was a dream she'd wake up from; in a way, as time passed, she had.

Friends, you might already understand that it's impossible to live surrounded by such magic without it eventually feeling somewhat normal. Thankfully, her fathers were able to remind her how special she was simply by taking her into their lives and giving her the attention and love she deserved. The magic in the shop was the icing on an already delicious cake.

The quartet gathered supplies from the shop's hidden nooks and secret drawers. Then they took the small service elevator upstairs to the dinning room. Leila always giggled when she rode the elevator. Who had an elevator inside their home?

Leila laid the black top hat from the shop on its side in the middle of the long wooden table. The other Misfits surrounded the hat with trick wands, playing cards, knotted ropes, feather flowers, whoopee cushions, tiny cups and foam balls, balloon animals, miniature human skulls made from clear plastic, rainbow-colored glass vials, along with the stuffed bird from earlier; that looked like Presto. It appeared as if everything was spilling from the top hat like a magical horn of plenty. Leila placed her favorite candlesticks- cast iron and shaped like little witch boots -on either end and then lit the tips of the tall white tapers.

The light from the setting sun came through the gauzy curtains, and it- along with the glow from the candles -gave the dinning room an aura of enchantment.

"Perfecto!" Said Leila, "This'll get them talking."

***

When Poppa returned home from the resort, he brought Sandra Santos with him; which Mr. Vernon had declared there was a God when he saw her, which Sandra found very funny. She wore a more simple dress, it was a white with red fabric roses dotted on it, her hair was up in a messy bun. The same white star-shaped earrings dangled from her petite earlobes. According to fashion magazines, every fabulous woman had one or two signature accessories; the stars were Sandra's. She greeted the Misfits with air-kisses.

"Oh my!" Sandra said, examining the table spread, she turned back to the Misfits, "Did you all make this?"

"Leila lead us." Theo piped up, putting a hand on Leila's shoulder.

"Yeah, it was her vision." Ridley said. Leila didn't look at them she just couldn't look away from Sandra; Sandra looked so proud of Leila, it was like how a mother would look proud of their child. It made Leila feel like she was glowing.

Carter set the needles down on the record player on the sideboard, and playful jazz music danced around the room. Leila was startled out of her own thoughts.

"The Magic Misfits welcome you to dinner." Leila said; trying to make a quick recovery. she then bowed.

"The best part is how all of this will magically return to the shop at the end of the night!" Said the Other Mr. Vernon.

Leila's Poppa brought out plates filled with steaming lobster Mac and cheese, fried green tomatoes, parmesan potatoes, and spaghetti squash with marinara. Everyone gathered at the table, their mouths watering as the Other Mr. Vernon filled crystal glasses with fresh-made lemonade that glowed in the candlelight.

"This all looks so good!" Sandra said, with a wide smile.

"The best. As usual." Said Theo.

"Thank you, Mr. Vernons!" Ridley said, with a smile.

"Dig in while it's hot." Leila's Poppa instructed.

The sounds of silverware clacking against plates sounded out like chimes, until Sandra interrupted, "Wait!" She stood up, her dress caught on her chair and she would have busted her face in if Mr. Vernon hadn't grabbed her; somehow Sandra didn't spill the drink in her hand. "First, a toast! To old friends!"

Mr. Vernon smiled and chuckled, his thin black mustache decorating his top lip. "To old friends." He echoed. They all clicked glasses, took quick swigs, then got back to the task at hand- filling their bellies with delicious grub.

The table was filled with chatter, Sandra and the Other Mr. Vernon talked about the food; Sandra seemed to know a thing or two about cooking. Ridley and Theo were sneakily doing magic tricks to mess with each other, Carter even joined in making eye contact with Ridley as he made the salt shaker disappear, that nearly got them caught because Ridley was about to burst a seam from holding in her laughter. Leila was about to join them, wanting to tie Theo's fork to his spoon, but was stopped when Sandra said something that drawed Leila's attention.

"Oh, how I adored this old building as a child." Sandra said; apparently the Other Mr. Vernon had gotten up to fetch the key lime pie. leaving Sandra to her thoughts. "Remember the magic shows we put on for passersby? Or that time we destroyed the house because we couldn't find Lyle during hide and seek?"

"Lyle would always wins, that day Kilory was determined to best him." Mr. Vernon said, his eyes far away, like if he tried hard enough he could go back to those moments. "We never did find where he had wiggled himself into." Leila sneaked a glance at Carter. At the mentioned of his father, he had sat up straight, his eyes not leaving Sandra and Mr. Vernon.

The Other Mr. Vernon passed out slices of the luscious pie and they were passed around until everyone had one, all well Sandra went on.

"Best of all, we'd stay up late, telling secrets and making up stories, daring one another to guess which were true and which were lies." Sandra then scooped some pie into her mouth, letting out a hum of pleasure at the taste.

"Can we play?" Leila asked, hoping to learn more about her secretive dad.

Sandra glanced at Mr. Vernon hands clasped together, like she was begging. He shrugged and then nodded.

"Only if you go first, Leila." He said.

Leila thought for a moment and then stood. "When I first came to live in Mineral Wells, I was so amazed by my dads and their shop and my new home I was certain I'd wake up from the best dream ever."

"Well, that's obviously true." Ridley said, "You've told me that same line almost every week since we met." Leila shrugged and chuckled. "My turn!" Ridley rubbed her hands together like an evil genius, "I once won a soapbox derby contest by decorating my chair as a giant shark." She declared proudly.

"That never happened." Theo said, "Or else we would have heard of it already."

Ridley deflated, her lips curling into a frown, "it'll happen one day. And you guys will help me put it all together."

"Let us invite Sandra to go next." Theo said.

"Surely!" Sandra cleared her throat, "When I was going through some of my mother's things in our old house, I discovered that she'd kept some drawings I'd done when I was young. I'd copied images from some playing cards that I really loved. I never knew she'd paid close attention to my interests..." Sandra was staring at Mr. Vernon her mouth slightly agape, like she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. She took in a sudden breath of air, and continued, "I just miss my mother, I guess."

"That’s is all true." Mr. Vernon said with a sad smile.

Sandra perked up, shaking off her sudden melancholy as if it were merely a slight coating of pixie dust. "Who's next?" She asked.

"I'll go." Volunteered the Other Mr. Vernon. "Before it was a magic shop, this building was a jazz club."

"Totally false." Leila said.

"Actually, that's quite true." Mr. Vernon said.

"Dad, how could you not tell me?" Leila asked, her voice showing her amazement.

"I suppose it never came up."

"Now you go, Dad."

"Me?" Asked Mr. Vernon. "Why me?"

"Why not?" Asked Carter, the most confident he has been since Sandra has arrived.

Mr. Vernon tossed his hands in the air, giving up. "Okay, then! Secrets and stories. Truth and lies. Which will it be? Let... us... see..." He leaned forward and stared intensely at each of his guests.

"Got one. As you all know, a long time ago, I lived in this very apartment with my parents. Downstairs, my father established a little store that he called Vernon's Magic Shop. You see, my father was the original Purveyor of the impossible. I loved watching him do magic tricks for the customers. I was most impressed when he'd transform one item into another right before their eyes. I begged him to teach me. But he refused, insisting that the best way to learn a trick was by figuring it out for myself."

Mr. Vernon picked up the green bird plush that looked like Presto from the centerpiece and held it in his plam. "And so I did. One day, I decided to show my father what I had taught myself. I took his coffee mug, still holding some coffee, and placed it on a clean plate. Then I dropped a top hat on top of it, like so..." Mr. Vernon placed the stuffed animal on the table, and placed the centerpiece top hat over it.

"My father waited patiently as I waved my hand around the hat, like this, and said 'abracadabra!' Then I lifted the hat from the counter. And the coffee mug was no longer there- instead, a snow globe with a wintry scene of Mineral Wells sat in its place. My father was so proud. I remember clearly how he beamed at my self earned ability. Little did he know, I broke his mug during the trick, which is why he never saw the mug again. But, I've gotten quite a bit better since then..."

Mr. Vernon whipped the hat off the plate and the entire table yelped.

Instead of the plush bird, Presto the very real parrot sat there and squawked at them. She bounced up and down, as if impressed with herself. Mr. Vernon set the hat back into the center of the table and held his finger out to the bird. The parrot stepped on, and he brought her up to his shoulder. After a fluttering of wings, she perched there.

"Now tell me, kids." Said Mr. Vernon, "Was that story the truth? Or am I lying?"

Carter knocked on the table, using Morse code to answer:

- •-• ••- - ••••

Ridley burst into applause. "Very good, Carter!"

"It was the truth, Dad!" Leila beamed, "The absolute truth!"

Mr. Vernon bowed his head, and the whole group broke into a round of applause. Leila felt giddy. Having Sandra here seemed to brighten up Mr. Vernon, he was talking about his past, a smile never left his face; it was like seeing Sandra was the same person that she was when she was younger was a huge relief to Mr. Vernon.

"How did you do that, Mr. Vernon?" Asked Theo. "Presto was in her cage downstairs when we came in."

"I know how he did it!" Carter said, he leaned forward putting his elbows on the table, "First you need a mechanism-"

"Indocilis privata loqui." Mr. Vernon interrupted, holding a finger to his lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Leila, "Are you trying to tell us some sort of new code?"

Her dad motioned like he was zipping his lips, and then, with an invisible key, he pretended to lock them up tight. The Other Mr. Vernon shook his head.

"What have I told you about no animals or speaking Latin at the dinner, Dante?" The Other Mr. Vernon said.

"Latin?" Leila echoed. "Since when do you know Latin?"

But Mr. Vernon pretended he no longer heard her, "Can't we make an exception?" He asked the Other Mr. Vernon. "My old friend is here."

Sandra snickered, "Please James, it took forever to convince him to learn with me when we were wee little."

Mr. Vernon ran his fingers through his hair, showing it was white all the way through. "I'm not so young James, I need more Latin."

"You aren't going to die from a lack of Latin." The Other Mr. Vernon said. Mr. Vernon looked him in the eyes and gave a little fake cough. The Misfits burst into laughter, The Other Vernon smiled.

Sandra seemed to have an idea and she nearly fell out of her chair, with after a quick recovery she nearly yelled "Who wants a reading?"

The kids clamored their approval.

"I'm not sure if I'll compare to Dante's little story, but I'll try." Sandra clicked her tongue and squinted. The room went silent as Sandra sat with her eyes closed for about ten seconds. When Sandra's eyes opened, Leila almost didn't recognize the woman who looked back.

"Running, running, running... the smell of smoke, the rush of a train... there are many trains... more than I can count... counting... the shell game... a feeling of shame... followed by... escape!" Sandra's head turned to Carter so fast Leila feared her head would popped off. "Does that mean something to you Carter?"

Carter flinched back, his posture similar to that of a cat wanting to smack something that had frightened it. Carter glanced at his friends, their mouths were agape.

"Yeah... it does. Before I came to live with the Vernons, I... I traveled by train. A lot." Carter finally managed to say.

Sandra tilted her head for a moment. "That time is over for you. Forever."

"Good to know." Carter said. When Sandra's gaze turned away Carter relaxed.

"What about me?" Ridley said.

Sandra turn her gaze to Ridley, Ridley stiffened up under Sandra's gaze. Sandra grinned so wide it HAD to hurt.

"Words... tangled in one's throat... fueling the fires of frustration... love... confusion... the want of her attention..."

"THAT’S ENOUGH!" Ridley yelled interrupting Sandra. Sandra laughed, but Leila heard two sets of laughter; one slightly different then Sandra's.

Sandra's gazed fell upon Theo.

"Many voices... a house filled to the brim with voices..." She whispered.

"My brothers and sisters are all coming home to visit this summer. In just a few weeks. My mom and dad are really looking forward to it." Theo said.

"Something new... no... someONE new... loud... prideful... over the others... bringing the sound of... violin to everyone's attention... they will help you through this..." that seemed to startle Theo. Before he could recover Sandra turned to Leila.

The moment Sandra looked at Leila, her neck hair stood on end, the air felt thick. Leila felt her muscles tense to the point she was frozen in her spot. Leila wasn't sure if she could speak like this. Leila was dizzy, but Sandra squinted. Leila forced a smile onto her face.

"Footsteps. A knocking at a door."

"Thank goodness." Leila thought. That didn't mean anything to her.

"A gift... a key..." Leila's heart jumped into throat. Then Sandra continued; her voice became so stern it scared Leila a little. "Do you know?"

Leila thought of the key on the string in the tin box, the one that she'd had since she was a baby. But she didn't want anyone to know about it. The secret made her feel strong. Still, she found that she couldn't lie to this woman.

"Yes." Leila said, as confident as she could. Mr. Vernon gave Leila a quizzical look, but he didn't pry.

"This key will become important in the coming days." Said Sandra, then gave the next part almost like an order. "Keep it close."

Then Sandra just went back to her pie. What ever spell Leila had been put under had broken the moment Sandra looked away, leaving Leila to ponder how she made her feel like that. The static feeling in the air that surrounded Leila felt too real to fake. The Other Mr. Vernon looked horrified at what just happened at his dinner table. Mr. Vernon did not seem surprised.

"Do you want to see some of our tricks? Theo, Ridley, Carter and me" Leila said, trying to push past what just happened.

"Oh! Could you? Please." Sandra said.

"Carter, show Sandra what you can do." Leila said, sounding more nervous then she would have liked.

Carter snatched up Ridley's spoon from the table. With a flick of his hand, the spoon disappeared. With his other hand, he reached beneath his plate and retrieved the spoon. He returned Ridley's spoon to her.

Sandra gasped. "That’s quite good."

"Now, Theo." Said Leila. "Go on."

Theo removed his magical violin bow from the pocket of his tuxedo pants and held it over the centerpiece. Slowly, the top hat flipped upright and began to dance in a small circle around the table.

"Amazing!" Said Sandra. "Bravo!"

Ridley shook her head. "I'm not a circus monkey, and I do not perform on cue!" For a moment, everyone thought she was really upset. But when she picked up her napkin and tossed it onto the table, it turned from white to bright blue instantly, "What trickery is this?" Ridley said with a wink. She picked up the napkin again and gave it a shake, and it turned green. "Stop it!" She yelled at the napkin, and it turned red. Everyone laughed.

"And don't forget Leila." Said Carter. "She can escape from anything. Look, she already wearing her straitjacket."

"I'll just need to get my locks from my bedroom. Dad, can you help set me up?"

"Escaping at the dinner table?" Asked Mr Vernon. "I'm not so sure about that."

Leila was silent for a few moments just looking at Mr. Vernon. He must of saw something in her eyes.

"That is a very good argument." Mr. Vernon said, snapping his fingers. "You talked me into it. Let's go!"

Sandra stood up from the table, "While you do that, would someone point me towards your powder room?"

"It's in the same place it's always been." Said Mr. Vernon, nodding towards the hallway. "We haven't done any remodeling since I inherited the building."

"The end of the hallway right?" Sandra thanked him and made her way down the dark passage.

#the magic misfits #Writing #LK au #The magic misfits au #Leila Kalagan au #My writing #writeblr #Canon? Never met her #This point forward Canon doesn't have much of a say #Fanfic

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sttngfashion · 4 years

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5.26 and 6.1 - Time’s Arrow

Oh my god. Y’all. It’s a new Fashion It So post. In the year of our Picard 2020. Yes.

For literal years, Charlie and I have been like UGH WE NEED TO DO TIME’S ARROW PARTS 1 AND 2 BUT IT’S JUST SUCH A MONSTER.

Well, I’m doing a complete rewatch of the series with my partner and we just got to these two, so IT IS TIME.

We open in a cave in San Francisco, where Data and Picard are checking something out:

Rent for the cave is $6,000 per month

Showing them around is this guy in a Science Outfit:

He’s ready to go night biking

We’ve seen this look before in both Silicon Avatar and Devil’s Due, and it’s functional, yet cute. Basically a windbreaker in jumpsuit form.

They find a couple of items in the cave, including a pocket watch from 1889 and also:

I left my head in San Francisco

IT’S DATA’S HEAD!!! And it’s been there for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. What could have caused this? And why is Data’s head so absolutely terrifying?

Is that fondant

This head is, in a word, haunting. The 2020 of heads.

Data and Geordi chat in Ten-Forward about what the presence of Data’s head in the cave means. Data says it means he’s mortal; that someday he will die, and that’s comforting. Spoiler alert: that’s not what it means. But it’s a nice conversation.

Also, Guinan is here!!!

Merlot My God!!

Or maybe: Burgundy-lightful!! Or perhaps: De-Crimson-alize Sex Work!! Okay that last one was a stretch but I really think I missed my calling as a nail polish shade namer.

Anyway, she’s here in her classic look of a pizza-sized hat and a flowing gown/coat/top/robe. The collar here is a little too close to a mock turtleneck for my liking and honestly - this is a little staid for our friend Guinan. I want a TEXTURE or a SWEEP or some WIDE RIBBING or some PLEATS. Don’t worry, though...she will get plenty more later.

Then there’s some plot which frankly we DO NOT HAVE TIME to get into but let’s just say: the away team goes to a planet, there’s a temporal disturbance, and Data ends up here:

Huge mood

Where are we? Or should I say WHEN are we??

Well that old-timey font is a good clue...also the horse

Are we in the Old West land of an off-brand Disneyworld? Are we going to ride something called Large Lightning Mesa Train Tracks? What colorful characters will we meet here?

Winner of 1893’s Mustache Medal

This type of ‘stache is called a Fu Manchu, after the character Dr. Fu Manchu. It’s not...a great look? But it is memorable, which is sometimes enough. He’s also wearing a simple black cap, probably made of silk. He’s keeping it cazh.

So where are we?

SAN FRANCISCO, OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE / YOU’LL LET NOBODY WAIT / OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR

Yes, it’s San Francisco. And it’s *eyes popping out of head like a cartoon wolf seeing a busty babe* 1893!!!! That temporal disturbance was...disturbing.

So who else do we have hanging out?

Please check out our Vaudeville act, Knit Cap ‘n’ Bowly

These dudes understand those famous Bay Area MICROCLIMATES, amirite? We’ve got a Henley. We’ve got a buttondown. We’ve got a vest. We’ve got a coat. No matter which way the thermometer decides to go, THEY ARE READY. Also loving the pop of forest green on Knit Cap’s knit cap.

We also have a 49er:

No, it’s not Steve Young. I googled “famous 49ers” to complete this joke so if there is a more famous 49er please let me know

It’s a literal 49er. Since it’s 1893, this guy’s been hanging around in town for a while, and he’s also familiar with the layering techniques one must master if one is to conquer the Bay Area’s climate. He also has a kicky Colonel Sanders-type tie. He asks Data for money and gives him a few panhandling tips. He’s chill. We like him. But don’t get too attached if you know what I mean!!!!

Data decides he needs somewhere to stay, so he finds a hotel:

Brian.

Why is this so funny to me. Brian. Why would you name your hotel Brian. Brian!!!! I know it’s a last name but like...Brian. HOTEL BRIAN.

This bellhop’s name is not Brian:

Where’s your hat, bro

He’s giving us a classic bellhop look, complete with too many buttons. He gives Data the very important information that there’s a poker game happening in the back of the hotel, which means: Data is about to be RICH rich.

The poker game includes a few good looks:

Louie Anderson IS Wolverine IN a Lands’ End barn coat

Two plaids? Sir...I salute you

Colonel Sanders Goes to Carnaval

Data, of course, wipes the floor with them so hard that he wins their clothes:

Didn’t get that barn coat tho

Yes, that’s the actual vest and the actual hat of those guys from the previous scene. Oh, I love it. I love Data in a vest over his uniform and I love Data with a feather in his cap. Let’s call it macaroni.

Meanwhile, out on the street, the plot is happening:

Beige: inescapable

This is our first taste of the decadent 1890’s sleeves that appear in this episode, and these aren’t even the best sleeves!! These are an amuse-bouche of sleeves. An armuse-bouche, if you will.

Anyway, these two are aliens disguised as humans who are here to steal the 49er’s life energy.

Pew pew pew

I told you not to get attached!!!

Back on the Enterprise, Guinan is doing mixology:

She would never call it something as stupid as mixology though

She tells Picard that he needs to go check out the temporal disturbance, too, even though captains don’t normally go on away missions, and then she gives him this look:

It’s that serious

When Guinan looks at you like this, you do what she says.

Now this outfit is much better than the earlier one. We have some pleated sleeves, which I didn’t even think was a thing you could DO. We have some sort of functional(?) strap(??) across the front. We even have matching fingerless gloves which always make a look A LOOK. And if Picard wasn’t sure whether he needed to go on this away mission, she then gives him THIS look:

Okay now it’s REALLY serious

Back in 1893, Data is making something:

It’s actually just a really complicated and large music box that plays “I Left My Head in San Francisco”

He’s gotten his hands on some more period-appropriate clothing, including a bow tie and a vest. Since he’s not wearing arm garters and his sleeves appear to be the correct length for his arms, we can conclude that the shirt was custom-made, not ready-made, because Data is now a baller due to his poker earnings.

Then, Data sees this in the paper:

I know her!! From work!!!!

Yes, it’s Guinan. In 1893. In a hat!!!!

We cut to the literary reception, which is honestly not as well-attended as I thought it would be, considering it got a GIANT photo of Guinan on page THREE of the paper, but okay. And who should we spy there but:

You’ll love my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. (Sorry, I really have Colonel Sanders on the brain because of that Lifetime movie.) It’s Samuel Clements, AKA Mark Twain. I had an English teacher in high school who explained the origin of his pseudonym (it indicates a mark of two fathoms, aka twelve feet, on a steamboat) and for some reason she shouted MAAAARK TWAAAAAIN when she told us that story so now her delivery of that line is in my head until I die I guess.

Anyway, it’s Mark Twain.

He’s wearing his iconic white linen suit with a black bow tie, and he’s also wearing a lot of prosthetics, because the actor playing him (Jerry Hardin, AKA Deep Throat from The X-Files AKA Melora Hardin AKA Jan Levinson-Gould’s dad) (was that too many AKAs) (you get it, right?) didn’t look enough like Mark Twain, I guess? In conclusion: what if eyebrow wigs were a thing?

Twain is having a chit chat with “Madame Guinan,” who is wearing what can only be called a sumptuous gown:

It’s 11:30 and the gown is sumptin’ sumptin’

There are so many ELEMENTS to this look! First of all: the color. Royal purple. Fit for a queen. Appropriate.

Then: those sleeves! These sleeves are known as “leg of mutton sleeves” because they KIND OF look like a leg of mutton. Have you ever seen a leg of mutton? I haven’t. I’ve only seen these sleeves. Plus they have a stripe?? No, I don’t know why, but I LOVE IT.

The cuffs and the cravat bring this from “dress” to “lewk.” Top it all off with this hat and you have a true 1893 mood.

What bird is that feather even from

We get a few good extra looks in this scene as well:

Pink Lady is NOT wearing a corset

Look, sometimes you don’t have enough period-appropriate undergarments for all the background people and that’s fine. But I WILL notice.

Is that Loretta Lynn

I am loving all of this! That purple dress is fantastic, those stripes? I die. Military man has some fun flair on his shoulder, and there is a dude in a beautiful turban back there. Plus, another Black lady in addition to Guinan and That One Ensign Who Is On The Bridge Sometimes.

Data rolls in to the literary event in a different suit with a CRAVAT:

Craving a cravat

Data is like “we serve together on the same starship in the 24th century” and Guinan is like “huh” but then she’s like “okay” which...I’m not sure if I would believe that? But let’s just say it’s fine.

Over in the 24th century, the literal entire bridge crew is checking out the temporal disturbance and I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL:

Blue Man Group...on ACID

These beings are like ghosts but also like Dr. Manhattan but also like pure energy.

Then everyone goes through the temporal disturbance AND THE SEASON ENDS.

Fortunately for you, this post will continue...right now.

Okay, so we’re back in San Francisco in 1893. You can tell by the horses:

Also the fruit carts

Samuel Clemens is strolling around with a reporter, telling him that he has a great story for him that involves time travelers and, like, protecting the nation.

Here’s the thing about this episode’s version of Mark Twain: he’s kind of a dick. Was the real Mark Twain kind of a dick? I just feel like Mark Twain should be JAZZED about meeting time travelers and not acting like a fuckin’ time cop* and trying to put the Enterprise crew on blast.

Anyway I love his double-breasted vest.

See my vest

The reporter’s hat is technically period-accurate, but that style is SO associated with the 1930s-1950s that I would have gone with something else. He looks cute though.

Meanwhile, Data is wearing a three-piece suit:

My positronic olfactory synapses are interpreting something as...a fart

I hate brown, but this is fine.

Additionally, the beige baddies from before are back and this time, they’ve got a SNAKE CANE:

Love the snake cane, hate how they suck the life out of people

But we are not here for them, we are here to see our faves in period clothing. Our first look is at Riker, who is dressed as an actual cop, not a time cop like Mark Twain:

The past just had...so many buttons

I guess if you’re a time-traveling white man there are worse disguises than a cop. But WHERE DID HE GET THIS UNIFORM? I choose to believe that he found a cop with a similar large handsome body to his own and beat the shit out of him and stole his clothes. Now we can all enjoy imagining a cop being beat up.

The badge that Riker is wearing is a great historical detail; the SFPD started wearing them in 1886 and are reportedly the first law enforcement agency to have worn the seven-pointed star, which is now a common shape among sheriff’s departments across the United States.

But let’s move on to a better look: Dr. Beverly Crusher:

Curlz MT

Okay, now I have more questions. Beverly obviously wouldn’t beat someone up for their clothes, so where did SHE get HER outfit? And who did her hair? Did she do her OWN hair? Where did she get a curling iron? Does she know how to use a curling iron? Was it one of those ones that’s actually made of iron that you have to heat up in a fireplace?

We will get answers to zero (0) of these questions.

We actually get a much better look at her dress later, so let’s focus on that cloak!!! I love it and I also love her hat. Okay, I guess I had less to say about those than I thought.

Bev and Will, along with the rest of the officers, have somehow procured a room/apartment in some lady’s lodging house. It’s cute!

They gave it 5 stars on AirBnB

This also raises questions. How did they get this room? How many bedrooms does it have? Are they sharing one large bed? If so, who has to sleep crossways at the foot of the bed and why is it Geordi? We will get zero answers to these questions as well, so let’s move on to arguably the hottest costume in this two-parter:

I’ll be in Holodeck 4

Whewwwwwww. He’s giving us a rolled sleeve. He’s giving us a casual tweed vest. The pants? They’re perfect. And he KNOWS how that slouch is working. It’s working VERY well. But the Irish landlady? She’s having NONE OF IT.

Absolutely NO nonsense

She needs the rent, but Picard charms her and she leaves. So I guess that’s how they got the room. Her look is knitwear-forward:

Eileen Fisher does sound like an Irish name

She’s got a shawl AND a cardigan! The cozy factor is OFF THE CHARTS. She also has a brooch, because a touch of fancy is always welcome. I will say that her hair is a little more fashion-forward than I’d expect for a woman of her age and station. This is straight up 1890s hair, and she would probably still be rocking an 1860s look, which isn’t as sweepy and would likely involve more braids. Still, she looks lovely.

Geordi is also here looking dapper:

Make the collar as high as you can. I want to be sliced open by my own collar

You CAN go wrong with a three-piece suit, but it’s difficult to. He can’t wear his visor, so he has some kicky shades which we’ll get a better look at in a sec.

Back at the Hotel Brian (lol), the bellboy (who we learn in this scene is Jack London, inspired to be a writer by Mark Twain [citation needed]) lets Mark Twain into Data’s room and allows him to look around unsupervised. This is very bad hotel management.

Great Scott

Then Data and Guinan show back up, and Mark Twain hides in an armoire.

One short day in the emerald brocade

I think one reason I love Guinan’s looks so much, both in the 24th and the 19th century, is that our color palette is very similar. We’re both winters. Bold jewel tones are the vibe. This one is in a beautiful deep green fabric with what looks like a velvet flocking pattern on it. The collar is also velvet, and I love that sleeve with a flounce on top like there wasn’t already enough fucking fabric on the sleeve so they just added a random piece to be like “yes, bitch. I’m a sleeve.”

Naturally, the hat is also jaunty af:

San Francisco’s hottest milliner is: Madame Guinan

This hat has everything: feathers, netting, a brim, an angle that makes you think it’s going to fall off but it doesn’t. We stan.

Meanwhile, Picard is setting up a sensor in a hospital while wearing a hat:

I’m bowled over

We haven’t even asked where Picard got these clothes, but I would like to point out that he’s dressed as a lower-class guy, while Riker is a cop, and Geordi looks like a gentleman. Was there even a discussion they all had about how they would disguise themselves? Was Picard like “I just really want to wear a beat-up bowler hat” and since he’s the captain, they extrapolated from there? This episode is NOT CONCERNED about any of this. They all have clothes, end of story.

Bev even has TWO outfits!!

Hello nurse!!!!

I love this look. She still has her unlikely hairstyle happening, which means her nurse’s cap is sitting atop her voluminous hairstyle. (Not very practical, but realistic!) She’s sporting a simple striped dress and a button-on apron. (Look closely and you can see the two buttons holding the apron to the dress.) The fabric underneath might be cotton seersucker, but it’s likely a lightweight cotton or linen twill. You can see how closely her look matches these nurses from a similar time period:

Hello nurses!!!!

Deanna is also in this scene and this episode, but you wouldn’t know it from what she’s given to do. HUGE SHOCKER: TROI NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TO DO IN AN EPISODE. 🙃

She still looks beautiful:

Why aren’t capelets more popular

We never get a really GREAT look at her whole outfit, but I can tell you that it has a capelet, it’s in the red family, and the hat has a lot of business going on. For those reasons: approved. It has a flounce in the back too:

More fabric = more wealth

Sometimes I think about just how much fabric it took to make these old-timey dresses and I’m like...how did anyone get anything done?? It takes me like 4 weeks to finish a pair of leggings and those have like 5 seams and I own a serger. These historical bitches were sewing whole ass dresses in no time at all.

Okay, so Bev is in this hospital and here come some more energy-stealing aliens, disguised as healthcare professionals this time:

I cannot take a medical professional wearing a LIGHT BROWN TOP HAT seriously, sorry

Bev AND this energy-stealing alien have BOTH managed to get their hands on the SAME nurse’s uniform?? I guess in the case of the alien, she is a shape-shifter, so she got her clothes from...that. And her hair.

I hate this light brown top hat. If you’re going to wear a top hat, don’t DISRESPECT IT by making it BROWN, but if you’re going to make it brown, make it a good brown, like chocolate. Stupid energy-stealing aliens.

There’s a skirmish, the energy-stealing aliens disappear, and the real cops show up:

MOUSTACHE

Of course, the cops showing up is bad, because when has a cop showing up ever made a bad situation better? Never. Defund the police, but don’t defund handlebar mustaches. Those can stay.

Fortunately, Data has gotten a ping on that machine he was building before and shows up on a motherfucking HORSE:

Brent just wanted to show off

He’s back in his brown striped suit and red tie. Okay.

Everyone returns to the boarding house to suss out the situation, and we get a look at what Riker is rocking underneath his cop jacket:

Suspend me daddy

You can see very clearly here how the collar is not actually attached to the shirt. This was a thing people in the olden days did so they could wear their shirt for multiple days in a row and just switch out the collar and cuffs so they looked clean. As someone who is wearing the same sweatshirt for the third day in a row, I support this method. (If you’re interested on more info about collars, here is a very enjoyable article about them.)

We are also blessed with a better look at Deanna’s sleeves and bodice:

Black lace cuffs? Decadent!!!

You can also see Geordi’s shades, which suit him really nicely. One thing I’ve been enjoying on this rewatch is just how well LeVar Burton can act without having his eyes visible. He’s great. Let’s just all think about how great LeVar Burton is for a second

And also Bev’s dress:

I legitimately want this dress

I don’t think those buttons are functional. Can you imagine how annoying THAT would be? But I am absolutely in love with this dress. Two paisleys, Beverly???? A goddess. I’m also dying for that brooch with the chain. A+ look all around, great work.

Finally, FINALLY, Guinan meets the rest of the crew:

When you meet someone you won’t actually know for 500 years

She is wearing a hat that looks like a toilet paper cozy. Did your grandma have one of these? They’re so stupid and I love them so much.

Picard and Guinan meet for what is the first time for her, but not the first time for him, and honestly it is...sensual?????

If I got a m’lady from P. Stew I wouldn’t even mind

Patrick and Whoopi truly do some nice work in this ep. But we are here to yell about clothes, so: LOOK AT THIS DRESS ON AN EXTRA:

Gimme dat dress

I just want that dress to wear around my house. I legitimately bought an 18th century costume dress to do just that, so don’t think I won’t literally do this.

OKAY, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE END.

The crew, plus Guinan, go back to the cave where this all started:

Cave Club, the only club that meets in a cave

We get a nice look at the bodice of Guinan’s dress here and guess what: MORE BUTTONS. Buttons on the lapels, and also buttons on the front panel with the pointy top. I wonder if she has multiple front panels for that dress in different colors, like a Swatch watch.

Unbeknownst to them, Mark Twain followed them!! Then there’s a scuffle with the energy-stealing aliens during which a few things happen:

Data’s head flies off

Mark Twain gets sucked into the temporal disturbance

Guinan gets hurt

Picard stays behind to make sure Guinan is okay

So we end up with Mark Twain on the Enterprise, where he sees Worf, and he’s like:

Buh-WHAT

Worf is also confused:

This is...extremely perplexing

We have a few more looks back on the Enterprise, including Regular Guinan:

ShoulderSpreads™: The Bed Spread for Your Shoulders

I love love LOVE this outfit. The color is perfect, the shoulderspreads are perfect, the front draping is perfect. It looks like a velvet housedress from the 1960s except FANCY which is kind of my ideal aesthetic. And it’s red (my fave).

We get a quick glimpse at the barber uniform:

Bitch let me pass, idc if you wrote Huck Finn

This barber does. not. give. a. fuck!!!!

Geordi reattaches Data’s head, the one they already had, which means this whole thing was a ding dang closed loop. The reattachment also kind of diminishes the whole conversation they had earlier about how Data’s head in the cave meant that Data could die someday, because...he didn’t. He still might, but his head is back and he’s fine now.

Meanwhile, Picard is still back in 1893 and they have to go get him, but only one person can come back through the temporal disturbance, so Mark Twain is like “duh I’ll go get him.”

And finally Guinan and Picard can talk about how their friendship spans 500 years!!!!

Hey girl

Hey

YOU’RE WELCOME

*abolish the police

#SEASON 5 #SEASON 6 #TNG #TNG FASHION #STAR TREK #STAR TREK FASHION

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

Text

The Critique of Manners Part VI

~Or~

An Attempt at an Objective Review of Emma (2009)... VOLUME TWO

Haha, bitches you didn't think I could wait a whole week did you? Nah, not me. and guys, I added to it--all total, it's 9,023 words now. this half of the review is 5,214. HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY WORDS FOR THIS THING? I'm not gonna split it into a third part, because I don't need to for picture limit purposes, but buckle in.

If you didn't catch it, read part 1 here

Here it is, the stunning conclusion to my Emma Adaptation Review series (but this isn't really the end because I plan on doing some rankings later). In this half of my review of BBC'S Emma (2009) we'll discuss Costumes and all the very specific things that I love about this version, and some things I don't like, and some things I'm here to defend.

Let's dive in!

Costumes

Generally I liked these costumes pretty well. They were designed and facilitated by Rosalind Ebbutt, also known for her work on PBS’s Victoria and Vanity Fair (1998). And her work is, as her filmography would suggest, by turns, great and so-so.

These costumes are definitely in line with the adaptation’s general aesthetic: warm pinks and golds, with mints emeralds and blues to cool it off a little, are the order of the day. I really appreciate that every character has a definite color palette. The tradeoff is that this adaptation is the WORST EVER offender for the Jane Fairfax Blue™ trope.

Daywear

Emma’s daywear is full of warm and muted colors. Salmon and magenta are commonly seen. I love that most of Emma’s daywear consists of sleeveless or short-sleeved gowns with wide-sleeved linen blouses underneath. It’s not a commonly seen aesthetic so it feels light and fresh. My favorite of Emma’s daywear dresses is the pale yellow with purple floral print.

There’s one other in particular that I love.

Emma’s blue, sleeveless dress. I love this because of HOW OBVIOUSLY it’s a reference to this portrait of Charlotte, Princess of Wales. I mean...

I’M NOT IMAGINING THIS, RIGHT? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS? This is a REAL dress. They still have this exact gown of Princess Charlotte’s. It’s on display. It’s faded, but it’s the same dress.

Harriet has a fresh and innocent green, white and purple color scheme with healthy doses of peach and pink showing. I particularly like her white and purple floral print dress.

Mrs. Weston’s color palette varies, but leans heavily on tans and purples, which is very flattering, I must say, to Johdi May’s coloring and is really refreshing for Mrs. Weston who seems to get stuck in pinks and yellows a lot. No idea what’s going on with the laced-front dress though? This doesn’t quite read as authentic to me, but I do like that her first dress seems to be an apron-front.

I know I already said that this is the worst Jane Fairfax Blue™ offender, but guys I can’t stress it enough. WE ARE 5/5 ON DAYWEAR HERE. LOOK AT THAT. (Also of note, Jane 5 is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s dresses from the '96 Emma.)

Mrs. Elton seems, at all times, to be wearing some form of pink, but I think I’m right in saying that the white day dress with the rose patterned bodice under the yellow and pink spencer is one of Jane’s dresses from P&P ’80. Can anyone confirm that? They did sneak in some Mrs. Elton Orange™ though, for Box Hill, and it’s worth noting that Mrs. Elton is the only lady who’s appropriately dressed on that occasion.

Isabella gets some understated day gowns that are very nice and also VERY “Jane Austen” in the sense that I feel like Jane Austen herself might have worn them.

Miss Bates, unfortunately is slapped with brown at just about every turn, but at least her “Nice” day outfit has some subtle leaf patterns, which is refreshing. Also Mrs. Goddard has a slappin’ cap. Love that.

Also, Harriet’s Grecian costume for the painting (upper right hand corner). What can I say, but that I love it. I love that it hints at the neoclassical influences on Regency fashion too. This is my favorite interpretation of the painting too.

Evening Wear

You know what I love about this version? It’s the first version of Emma where her gown for the Crown in Ball isn’t WHITE. I know, I know white was fashionable, but it’s just… it’s nice for not EVERY gown in a ball scene to be plain white friggin muslin and also, it’s not one she’s ever worn before, which is great.

Harriet does have only white evening gowns but that’s okay. My only complaint is that, specifically on her Crown Inn dress and in a lot of her costumes in general, the waistline seems just a little low. Hmm. I really like the pale blue pattern on her first evening dress though.

Mrs. Weston though. Woo. Look at those. She has a dark chartreuse gown with black lace trim that any other version would have put on Mrs. Elton, so you know from the dark tones that she’s a bitch. Not so with Emma '09, and that’s good. And her teal dinner number is a favorite of mine. I never paid much attention to her green and gold ball gown but it has some really beautiful, subtle leaf or maybe peacock feather patterns on it and I love that. My only problem is that there seem to be some fit issues. She’s got muffin top way too often. Her orange evening dress is a bit of a dud though, firstly, because it has long sleeves (which is an evening gown no-no) and the fabric slaps a bit too much of sari fabric for my tastes.

Jane, not only is put in blue with both of her evening gowns (although one is so pale it borders on white), ONE of them is another Emma ’96 repeat and not only that, it’s one of Jane Fairfax’s dresses in that film! Perhaps that’s enough to make it an homage, and I have to say, I think Laura Pyper wore it better.

Miss Bates only has one evening wear ensemble, but at least it’s cream and not brown.

Mrs. Elton’s gowns are surprisingly understated, and yet still seem to be annoyingly fussy and, what’s better? They’re not sickly green. One of them is actually a very pleasant mint.

Outerwear

Outerwear is roundly pretty great here. Emma’s primary choice of color for spencers is emerald/evergreen and one of them is Elizabeth’s Bennet’s from the 1995 P&P (though to be honest, I think Jennifer Ehle filled it out better.) I do love Mrs. Elton’s pink and yellow number with the slashed sleeves. Jane Fairfax’s only spencer is, you guessed it, blue, but her friend Miss Campbell has a rather fun mauve one.

There’s no shortage of pelisses and redingotes either. Harriet can be seen in one borrowed from Elinor Dashwood in the '08 S&S, Mrs. Weston has a rather fabulous purple one which she wears with the most delicious looking hat I’ve ever seen.

Emma has two. The first one is a great magenta number with military braiding (and I think she wears with it one of the brown slouch hats that Kate Beckinsale wore in the same role) and while the other pelisse is brown, they had the sense not to make her wear a hat with it that was also brown. Instead, they gave her a contrasting color. Good on ya, Rosalind!

Speaking of hats, I don't often single them out for commentary, but I want to here because… the hat authenticity is… kinda spotty. Let me show you.

Okay first of all, Emma may be a teenager in this pic on the upper left, but she is not dressed formally enough for her sister’s wedding (which is what’s going on in this scene) but at least her hat is pretty good. You can see the ribbons are on the inside of the hat here, which is as it should be… but she never wears this hat again. At any point in the series. Instead, we next see her in the one on the upper right and ye gads this is atrocious. WHY IS HER HAT NOT PINNED ON? IT’S SLIDING DOWN THE BACK OF HER HEAD. SOMONE FIX IT. PLEASE. But wait, there’s more. This kills me because these bottom two are so similar to the one she wore earlier (the correct one) but crappier looking. Jeez.

This is not a hat. It’s a peanut. You know who doesn’t have this problem? Harriet. She only has one sun hat but at least it’s correct.

I also wanna touch briefly on this ^ costume continuity issue.

WTF is this? She’s in the hall, her ribbon is contoured to the line of her dress; she goes into the drawing room and… it isn’t anymore? Wha happun?

I took more menswear screencaps for this version than any other version. And that’s because the men just have more outfits that are, y’know, different from each other.

Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight the first pic there and why I love it. This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding.

He also has a rather lovely blue evening waistcoat that I WISH I could have gotten better shot of (although I do believe it’s also worn by Henry Crawford in the '07 Mansfield Park, so for further reading…)

Mr. Weston finally gets to wear clothes that aren’t all brown! He only has ONE brown outfit. He gets PATTERNED waistcoats, one of them a rather spiffing blue and brown striped number. And he wears TROUSERS! Because he’s a gentleman, and he’s not that old and trousers are worn by fashionable gentlemen in this period!

You know who else gets to wear trousers and at least one fun waistcoat? Mr. Woodhouse. Check out that lovely Sunday Best™ waistcoat. The red striped one. That’s delightful.

John Knightley’s evening wear intrigues me. That’s a double-breasted jacket, and you know I’m not totally sure that’s very authentic for evening-wear of this period, but it is different. Unfortunately he also has a flared top hat and that is definitely not on for this period.

One of my favorite things about this version is that they don’t dress Mr. Elton as a clergyman all the time. Yes, he may be the vicar, but he’s also allowed to dress like a fashionable, handsome young man. So I’m really happy that he gets to flex his fashion muscles here.

And speaking of fashionable young men, FINALLY frank gets to be COLORFUL and his trousers are even tight enough. Both he AND Elton are often seen wearing TWO waistcoats, as I would expect them to, and even though Frank’s a dandy, he knows that flashiness is gauche so his pops of color are bright, but not in your face. His green and red waistcoats are always worn under more muted colors, and I just love it.

The only problems are… what’s with the turned-down waistcoat collars? There’s no precedent for this, in fact I think it’s directly contradictory to the style at the time, and also it makes the cravats look a bit unruly.

A Critique of Manners

A lot has been said about the manners in this adaption. Like, the actual manners, body language and facial expressions, specifically vis-à-vis Romola Garai.

And, oh yeah, there’s a lot to pick at here, but first I’d like to talk about the facial expressions.

I'm mostly gonna be talking out of my ass here, but this is my take, so if anyone can make a better argument against my points, I am listening, because I don't really like talking out of my ass and I like to be informed. That said...

I tend to be lenient on the… exaggerated facial expressions because, something I’ve noticed reading Austen’s works through the last several months is that Austen is very descriptive when it comes to facial expressions and I just find it hard to believe that people in the Regency Era never made exaggerated expressions like this.

I’ve heard a lot about how Garai’s Emma is not dignified or lady-like. But let’s think about the context of Emma Woodhouse – she’s never been in society. She’s only had a governess to teach her, and we know Emma’s always been sort of averse to being told what she can and can’t do. Emma is the highest ranking woman in her social circle (barring Isabella’s occasional presence). Emma doesn’t have to be ladylike. At 21, she’s already her local Lady Catherine. She puts a lot of stock in her position in society but, as Mrs. Elton will be the first to hypocritically point out, she’s very poorly behaved. I'd be very curious to see what would happen if Emma went to London for the season. Probably, she'd be seen, comparatively, as a country bumpkin. Can you imagine how she might get on in a sea of accomplished young ladies? She can barely handle having ONE rival with any kind of grace.

Austen never describes bodily movements of the kind we’re looking at when we watch adaptations, so why not have Emma’s body-language be un-ladylike in the conventional sense of the time? I’m not saying this to excuse the absolutely inexcusable (Frank’s head in her lap, kneeling on the sofa backwards etc.), but while Emma’s mannerisms aren’t exactly ladylike for her time, they’re not overtly masculine either (which was one of my biggest problem with Death Comes to Pemberly for example.)

Yes, there’s an ideal for manners. But we know real people didn’t always follow those ideals. In dancing for example, many dancing guidebooks of the day were full of repeated instructions not to be too loud or rambunctious when dancing. What this tells us is that people were doing just that, and probably quite a bit, too. I think that, while taking societal strictures into account, we shouldn’t totally discount the idea that people in the Regency weren’t really that different from us, and young people especially.

Now I’ve already mentioned some of the inexcusable aspects of interaction in this adaptation and they’re so notorious at this point, I don’t think that I really need to go over them much here. Although I will say: is it ridiculous to have Frank Churchill put his head in Emma’s lap? Yes. Did it make me more viscerally uncomfortable with the situation on Box Hill than any other version? Yes.

I was like, 14 when I watched this the first time. This was an effective way to telegraph to young people like me that Emma is being extremely inappropriate here in a way that no other version really managed to, even when I watched them when I was older and understood the period more. I’m far more acquainted with Regency manners than I was then, but to be honest – if they had been accurate with the manners here, when I was 14 I would not have understood what the big deal was. Is there merit in circumventing historical accuracy in favor of reaching a less-informed but still-interested audience? Yes, I think so. There were three other versions of this, at that point, that did this scene with more or less pristine manners. Not every version has to follow the manners of the time to-the-letter to be good. That’s my feeling on the matter.

There are things that do really bother me though. Like the idea that Harriet Smith doesn’t know how to spoon soup, for instance. As I said in my review for the Miramax version, table manners are pretty basic, there’s no reason Mrs. Goddard wouldn’t have taught Harriet this. It does provide a good moment to show Emma tacitly coaching Harriet and showing the trajectory in which this relationship will go, but personally I don’t think it was necessary—there are plenty of other ways that could be done.

Also: kids at the dinner table? I know this is part of building the familial atmosphere but it really does annoy me, because apart from building the familial atmosphere (which they do very well and frequently in other ways) it really didn’t need to happen, and it doesn’t add anything.

The Heart of Highbury

So, as I’ve hinted at throughout this review, the bread and butter of this adaptation of Emma is emotion. This version goes hard and heavy on showingthe relationships – Emma’s relationships with Mrs. Weston, Mr. Knightley, her father, her sister, her brother-in-law, Miss Bates; Jane’s relationship with Frank; Frank’s relationship with his father; The John Knightleys’ home life – and it illustrates things that can be surmised from just reading the story, but really draws your attention to them in ways that other adaptations just don’t.

It does this from the very beginning with the prologue which explains in detail (not just in quick exposition between characters) how Jane and Frank were separated from their families at young ages. We know now, from psychological study, that being taken away from their primary caretakers during their formative years is one of the most psychologically traumatizing things for a child. This is deeply important context which is explained in detail by the narrator in 2-3 large pages (in my Barnes & Noble anthology) in the book.

In the featurette on the houses, they talk particularly about Hartfield and the Woodhouses being the heart of Highbury and how they particularly wanted it to feel homey because Hartfield is Emma’s house and they wanted the audience to feel why everyone is so drawn to it, and to Emma; to me that is what they did with the whole adaptation in microcosm.

I usually talk a bit about the dancing and I'm going to here as well because this is maybe the most special dance scene in any Austen for me. Of course I'm going to link to Tea with Cassiane as usual because she knows what she's talking about and I don't. But I wanna add some comments. She gives this a pretty low rating in spite of a generally favorable commentary because of two big oopsies, the circle dance formation is one, and the other is I believe, an issue with the style of dance not matching the tune in Emma's dance with Knightley. Throwing out any objective technical analysis though, this is my favorite Ball in any Austen and it all comes down to the cornerstone of this adaptation--emotion.

All of the songs and dances were original compositions and choreography made for this adaptation. So they're not period per se, but the tunes at least are representative of how Regency dance music should sound. These dances are upbeat, and lively and, damn they look like fun. Everyone is excited here and it makes me understand why dancing was such a big thing. Best of all that excitement adds to the emotional charge of the scene. "The Ship's Cook" is the most fast paced dance and I'm glad they made this the dance where Elton snubs Harriet because it really hits for me just what Harriet would be missing out on if Knightley wasn't so fucking aptly named. In all other versions you get the insult, but the dance that's taking place is usually a Baroque walker so it doesn't seem terribly like she's missing out on much. Here, this is like not getting picked for kickball-- not only is it a slight that no one wants you on their team, but you miss out on even playing the game. Harriet looks so lonely, and her feeling of being out of place rolls off of Louise Dylan so forcefully it chokes me up just thinking about it because I've been there, man. I feel this shit. *dabs eyes*. Ahem. So, yes, when Knightley engages her for the dance the excitement the viewer feels is that much more forceful and Harriet's exuberantly starting to jump in when the timing is off and Knightley gently pulling her back, it just hits me in the feels center, guys. (I wanna take a moment to give a shout out to every camp counselor who ever partnered with me for any game at summer camp.) Emma's reaction too, is gold. Her genuine relief at Knightley swooping in is one of those great reminders that Emma is Harriet's friend, and she does care about her.

Finally on the dancing front, I wanna talk about Emma's dance with Knightley and why I prefer it to the one in the 2020 version. I already talked about this a bit in the 2020 review, so I'm gonna try and keep it brief. That shouldn't be too hard, because I'm probably mostly going to repeat a lot of what I've already said about Emma and Knightley in this version as a whole.

The big thing everyone loves about the Crown Inn dance in the 2020 is the yearning, the sexual tension, the quivering touches etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of those things but... not all the time. Not in everything, and definitely not in Emma. Because Emma, to me, isn't about repressed sexuality or heated tension or seething passion. Emma and Knightley are the opposite of that, to me, really. One of my mutuals put it best, I think: "Emma and Knightley are more suited to stolen glances than hot touches."

In Part 1 I talked about how Knightley is Emma's comfort object. When Emma is out of sorts, Knightley re-centers her. It helps set up, and puts emphasis on, the crisis of the story in the last act--Emma not knowing what she has until [she thinks] she's lost it. Emma and Knightley are Friends to Lovers done as it should be. She is already so comfortable with him she doesn't even realize her own feelings. She just feels right with Knightley and that's what this dance is here to show you--a foreshadowing of matrimonial harmony.

The dance itself, of course, is always up to interpretation, because Austen never describes how it goes, just that Knightley asks Emma to dance and Knightley doesn't dance (barring charitable causes). If you prefer the sexual tension take, if that, to you is an improvement on Austen's story and gives you what you've always felt was missing, I'm glad that there is a version now that gives you what you've been looking for, but for me, I think the 09 approach hits closer their dynamic in the book.

Now do I do think the Emphasis on emotion maybe went a little too earnest in some places in this adaptation? Maybe. Just a little.

In my last review (1972) I went on a rather lengthy tirade about the scene where they turn Emma’s appeals to Harriet to exert herself and move on following Mr. Elton’s marriage into Emma guilting Harriet into thinking she’s a bad friend for being heartbroken and then throwing her into the situation most likely to rub salt in that particular wound.

In this version, while I love the emphasis they put on the stress Emma puts on her own guilt for being the reason for Harriet’s situation in the first place, I think it’s maybe a little too… much.

That’s the only way I can put it. I know I’ve just said that I think there should be a bit more expressiveness in period drama, but this doesn’t quite match the way I read it (Emma’s a bit less desperate in Austen’s prose. Very dedicated to helping Harriet feel better, but just a skosh more composed). I think she’s even crying in this scene.

While we’re here let’s go over to Box Hill ONE. MORE. TIME.

First of all, this is where this screenplay shines, in my opinion. This is the big turning point in the story and as such, should be a touchstone for the judgment of any adaptation. This sequence in the 2009 version is a perfect crystallization of everything I love about this version—namely that this is the version that, to me, most feels like someone read the book thoroughly, paid attention to what Austen was describing and then actually tried to convey it on screen. A lot of other versions sort of feel (to me), like the director glanced at the page and said “here’s what I want to convey in my version”. Insofar as making a piece of art goes, that’s good. Directors are artists as much as painters are and movies are their canvass, but it’s seldom that you find a director who honestly wants to hit as close to the author intent as possible and this Box Hill sequence makes me feel like that’s what Jim O’Hanlon was going for. I have the book open next to me as I write this and it’s shocking to me how minutely the atmosphere described in the book is conveyed here. Most of all, the fact that Emma’s insulting Miss Bates is not the only thing faux pas she makes here. Box Hill as a whole is a disaster, and it’s largely because of Frank.

“When they all sat down it was better; to [Emma’s] taste, a great deal better, for Frank Churchill grew talkative and gay, making her his first object. To amuse her, and to be agreeable in her eyes, seemed to be all that he cared for—and Emma, glad to be enlivened, and not sorry to be flattered, was gay and easy too, and gave him all the friendly encouragement, the admission to be gallant, which she had ever given in the first and most animating period of their acquaintance; but which now, in her own estimation, meant nothing, though in the judgment of most people looking on it must have had such an appearance as no English word but flirtation could very well describe. “Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse flirted excessively.” They were laying themselves open to that very phrase—and to having it sent off in a letter to Maple Grove by one lady, to Ireland by another. Not that Emma was gay and thoughtless from any real felicity; it was rather because she felt less happy than she expected. She laughed because she was disappointed…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Most other versions rush through Frank’s “excessive” flirting with Emma (Right in front of Jane) to get to “Three Things Very Dull Indeed” as fast as possible, and yes that’s the crowning horror of Box Hill, but there’s a very intricate setting here, too, and this version has the time to lay back and let it all unfold in the oppressive discomfort of an English summer day.

Even better than all of that though is Knightley confronting Emma after it all goes down. This treatment is neither plaintive, nor aggressive as it was in ‘96 and ‘97 respectively. I’ve already extolled the virtues of Johnny Flynn’s Box Hill rebuke, but for a change I’m not going to zero in on Miller’s performance which is, at least as good as Flynn’s, but on Romola Garai’s, which I find superior to Anya Taylor Joy’s. Specifically, her reaction once she’s alone.

ATJ in the 2020 version immediately breaks down sobbing and it’s hard for me to feel that she’s sobbing for “anger against herself, mortification, and deep concern” or that there’s much self-reflection going on there. To me it rather just feels like she’s crying because she got shouted at. The theatrics of it, to me, feel childish and self-centered.

I don’t feel that with Garai’s performance.

“She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed—almost beyond what she could conceal. Never had she felt so agitated, mortified, grieved, at any circumstance in her life. She was most forcibly struck . . . How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in anyone she valued! And how to suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude, of concurrence, of common kindness!

Time did not compose her…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Of course one can make the case that Emma's reaction should be a bit childish because Emma is an immature character, but that's the thing--I can agree with you anywhere else in this story but this is Emma's maturing moment. This is her turning point as a character. It's where we should see her reactions shift from the same childish denial we're used to seeing when Knightley scolds her, because this is different. It's not the usual brushing off of big brother Knightley, this is a young woman reacting to an esteemed friend pointing out how abhorrently inappropriate she's been and her having to admit that to herself.

I didn't really want to drag comparisons to the 2020 film into this, not on this scale at least, but this just jumped out at me the last time I watched the new film and I have to express it somewhere.

What I see in Garai’s performance is desolation and mortification. That shocked tearfulness of knowing you’ve been justly reproached for wrongdoing, but being too frozen in a pretense of composure to actually cry about it until you’re quite sure that no one will see you. And especially when it’s someone you esteem rebuking you, the horror of them leaving before you can admit that they’re right. There’s so much more depth here, I think, and I can’t even quite express what it makes me feel.

The aspect of time not composing her is another thing that they decided to put stress on in this version. Emma looks fucked up in the following scenes. When she goes to see Miss Bates, she clearly either hasn’t slept or has slept very badly. I feel like this is maybe an anticlimactic conclusion to this section but I’m afraid I’m very close to reaching incoherence, so I’m just gonna leave it here.

My absolute favoritest thing about this version though—something that sets it apart from ALL other versions and even adaptations of other Austen stories—is the inclusion of the post-confession conversation.

This is something of a trope in Austen books but it very rarely finds its way into adaptations: confessions of love are out of the way, the hero and heroine settle into an easy an comfortable conversation, glowing with happiness as they explain and laugh over their actions and misinterpretations of each other’s choices. It happens in Pride and Prejudice, in Persuasion, and yes, in Emma. This is the only Austen adaptation, that I've seen, to include this kind of conversation in any kind of detail. The 1995 Pride and Prejudice alludes to the corresponding scene in it its source material, but the lines pulled from it get tossed into the confession scene itself and then it flies through to get to the obligatory wedding—a side effect of rushing through endings, a convention I’m rather tired of.

Emma (2009) takes its time with this, as with all other aspects of this adaptation. For a version that’s so full of energy, its pacing is extremely laid back and comfortable, without dragging. When you hear the gentle musical swell and Emma and Knightley have their kiss (this whole confession sequence is so sweet and wonderful in its own right), you expect that to be it. But no, we cut to them, the picture of contented happiness, sitting together on a bench overlooking Hartfield’s garden, just talking and enjoying being together, with no teasing, no pretense. If Jane Austen stories emphasize anything, it’s the importance of communication in relationships, and I think that’s maybe why she made it a point in almost every story to show her characters communicating their feelings in words, even after all the conflict has been resolved. This is my favorite scene in the whole series (In case it being my header image didn’t make that obvious.)

This is followed rather promptly by a cut to the next day, with Emma bursting in to Donwell in hysterics about how they can’t be married because she won’t leave her father alone.

This is one of those maybe over-the-top choices that a lot of people don’t like, but guys, it was so funny to me when I was fourteen and it still makes me laugh. It might seem outlandish, but to me it’s just the emphasis on personal relationships and emotion coming through again and it always makes me smile.

Final Thoughts

It’s hard for me to give a proper round up of my feelings for this section because I think I’ve poured just about all of my feelings on each aspect into its dedicated sections.

At the end of the day, the only thing that really disappoints me about this version is the number of missed opportunities there are here. One of my favorite parts of reading Austen is when I run across a line in dialogue or narrative that just… slaps. But they never make it into the adaptations. Emma is full of them and I just wish that Sandy Welch could have taken an opportunity to slip a few of them in.

In summary, I think this is a wonderful, heartfelt adaptation aimed at getting to the emotional heart of a story that often gets caught up in the Mean Girl-ness of its main character than the coming of age story that it is. It's one of my favorite period dramas because it's one of the few that really captures the spirit of the source material as it's always felt to me. There's really only two other period dramas that I esteem on the same level as this, and they're North & South (2004) and Jane Eyre (2011) and it's for the same reasons; because they impact me deeply on an emotional level--which is what art is supposed to do--because of how well it captures the essence of the story that I know and love.

So did I succeed in a more objective review of Emma 2009? I' feel like probably not. But I tried my best. It’s so hard to be objective about something that makes you as happy as this adaptation makes me.

Ribbon Rating: Most Agreeable (83 Ribbons)

Tone: 10

Casting: 9

Acting: 9

Scripting: 7

Pacing: 10

Cinematography: 7

Setting: 9

Costumes: 6

Music: 8

Book Accuracy: 8

#emma 2009 #emma woodhouse #mr. knightley #jane austen #jane austen emma #romola garai #jonny lee miller #period dramas #regency

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