#the way I constantly switch between ‘kinda’ and ‘kind of’ lmao

[effyrosemary]

oh my god unethical priest marius you're a genius!!!!! do you think armand resists the idea that letting his priest fuck him is totally okay in the eyes of god or is he relieved to finally let go and give into his baser desires.... or both! do you think it makes him less guilty or more? god and imagine if marius were to weaponize armand's guilt in order to keep him even more trapped, like yes you are so bad for this and i'm the only one who can absolve you. i'm so invested LOL if you have any hcs of how it would play out i'm aaalll ears

Omg! thank you! To answer your question:

I think it’s both kinda. I think for Armand it would be so liberating to finally give in to these desires, and I think the shame is also kind of what gets him off (it’s the classic “oh no this is so wrong, but it feels so good!”). But I also think that there’s still a small part of him that genuinely feels it’s wrong to do these sexual things. Armand desperately wants to believe in something, I think, and to have that stability so he can have a space for himself to rebuild and to trust again. (don’t get me started, I have this whole fic idea of Daniel trying to provide Armand with a cozy little home and emotional support and stability so Armand has a space to heal, but that’s another story for another day) But I also feel like Armand is very nihilistic in some ways, so maybe he feels guilty but he also goes against the guilt on purpose, to feel that hurt and to feel that shame, I don’t know if you’re following me hahah

And omg, Marius weaponizing the genuine guilt is so wrong and so deliciously GOOD. (idc! it’s fiction! they’re not real people! let us have our dirty thoughts OK!)

When I first saw “unethical therapist Marius” on @monstersinthecosmos I was so immediately hooked. (I then sent this anon bc I needed to talk about it lmao, I was still not familiar with tumblr again after being away for a long time and I thought maybe people will think I’m weird but now I say fuck it bc Anne Rice never shunned away from people thinking her stories/characters were strange/too much.)

Marius is always so seemingly in control, and I love when he’s fooling himself that he’s doing the right thing when he KNOWS he’s not. That’s also why I like Pandora and him together, she kinda sees through his mask. Spoiler: I still remember that one part in Blood Communion after Marius kills Arjun where they’re all sitting around the table and Marius is furiously talking to Pandora and Lestat says: “I had never seen him so angry”, in other words; Lestat has never really seen Marius’ mask break like that, except now that he is upset with/about Pandora. Or when he’s helped out of the ice by Pandora and Santino in QOTD where he childishly snaps at her and says “I can walk unaided, thank you!” when Pandora reaches out to touch him, and she just gives him a shove and is like ‘“Fine girl, walk then lmao”

He wants to be this voice of reason, this stability etc, and he is, but he’s also human. So I love it when those kind of characters secretly give in to their bad side and try to justify it! I also love it when usually reserved people finally snap and can’t control themselves anymore when they finally get what they want, it’s my favorite thing. (There is this beautiful fic by @0junemeatcleaver0 where Marius kinda loses his composure at some points and he gives in to what he really wants and it’s so good. Highly recommend that fic in general.)

I LOVE headcanons, please tell me if you have some! These are some of mine regarding priest!marius:

- Marius has to actively restrain his thoughts from going wild when he sees Armand on his knees, or when the boy is reaching up to clean a shelf and his shirt rises and Marius can see the silky skin of his lower back. He’s practically drooling :)

- Armand secretly kind of knows the relationship between them is wrong, but he tries to test Marius by experimenting. (Sitting next to Marius and accidentally letting their knees touch etc that sort of thing, playing it dirty but also safe you know)

- Armand gets turned on when Marius is preaching in front of the crowd (idk how that shit works I’m not even religious, I never grew up religious lmao! how bad I am!) because Armand loves to see Marius in a position of power, and he loves how the people of the church look up to him.

- Armand has definitely thought about sucking Marius off under his robes when he’s speaking in front of a church full of people.

- At night, when Marius can’t think of nothing but Armand’s shapely legs and his lovely mouth, he turns to his Bible with the stubborn will of A Good Man and tries to ignore the insistent throbbing between his legs. And he can manage it, at least for a while.

- But then one night, he walks in on Armand praying on his knees and he walks up to tell the boy to go on home because it’s late and he should get some sleep, and the boy looks up from where he’s kneeling and says in a small voice, cheeks blushing; “I can’t, father. I’ll have sinful thoughts when I’m trying to sleep, I need to pray first.”

- And Marius offers he can help Armand with these thoughts, if Armand is willing to learn how to be a proper man of God.

- Nothing gets Marius more worked up than the idea of Armand calling him ‘ Father’ when they’re getting dirty together, it drives him feral

Alors… as Armand once told David Talbot; “Look, I’m deranged x”

* English is not my first language so apologies if there are some typos. Edit: I can’t believe I forgot the word “not” in the previous sentence for DAYS I have No Brains

[gothmiqote]

odds for the ship game -- for WoL/Estinien or your Azem ship!

gonna do wolstinien for this one & delegate the other one for hythazemet ~

under a cut because length lol & also ig heads up for spoilers of like. the whole plot kinda fhgjj idk things get mentioned that happen up to EW & also some not-safe content lmao

Is your muse a romantic? Do they dream of love and marriage?

Yes? Maybe? Kind of? Varha has this weirdly domestic side that she's actually pretty comfortable with (likely wouldn't appreciate having this pointed out, though), so there's potential for her to wander down this route of thoughts. Realistically though I think her attachment issues would end up freaking her out too badly to seriously consider anything legally permanent. That's not to say it's off the table in the future or anything, but it's a very distant notion & she's not going to come to the conclusion that she's also able to be the one who initiates.

(Another thing to factor in here is that neither of them are the type of people to would even be thinking of the 'let's sign this for tax purposes'-type scenarios. Varha is considerably better about money & related bureaucratic life things than Estinien 'lost his company credit card privileges in record time' Varlineau, but she still lacks any foresight around planning for her future beyond next week.)

She will react favourably to the type of romantic gestures he does do, though. Like he's not subjecting her to the objective torture of having someone go 'hey I wrote this song about you :)' before they publicly serenade you acapella style, thank the fucking Twelve for that, there's not a version of her that has a strong enough poker face to take it. She melts when he remembers small likes/dislikes or takes note of something she never even bothered to verbalize in the first place. She's not a shy person, she can flick the switch into an affectionate mood pretty damn quick with the right incentive, she's just maybe not the most in-touch with her emotions all the time & sometimes needs to be coaxed.

At the end of the day, she's pretty sure that Estinien is her person. When she says she feels content with him, it's the farthest thing from 'settling' despite the connotations of the phrase. She's perfected the art of putting up a more secure & confident front, but in truth, she's gone through the bulk of her life feeling transient in her own and temporary in the lives of people around her. As the Warrior of Light, she's not only good enough--she's capable of exceeding external expectations. As herself? Not as much. She hasn't quite outgrown the deep feeling of never being anyone's favourite, of constantly being the tag along with her siblings growing up. She tries too hard to be something loud & useful & fundamentally unforgettable, and it's a knife to her side every time she falls back into acting with that desire in mind.

Estinien has been one of an exceptionally small number of people who have never added to the feeling, intentionally or not. She's not sure if it's right to be attracted to someone for the way they make you feel, if it's something that feels that selfish (in her mind). But he's obstinate enough that she knows he wouldn't have bothered to even take the chance with her if he didn't want to be there. She thinks, oddly, that part of the reason she's able to believe his motivations is the fact that he spent so long with a deliberate distance between them. It left her with less time to perform, and less time to ruminate on her hidden self-worth problems. Whatever the reason, she knows that she's never felt this way with anyone else, and no one else has cared enough to even give her that time to explore that internally. The wariness she held towards herself was more or less melted away when she was faced with how good she actually felt for once. There's a reason she didn't mind when the verbalized declarations of love started slipping out after a few months.

Is your muse good at kissing? Are they experienced?

Very good kisser.

Most people tend to assume Varha's far more experienced than she actually is for this reason--in reality, she's had a relatively small number of sexual partners, she just thinks kissing is fun & generally won't take much convincing for making out. She's particularly prone to this after a couple drinks, and sharing is caring when she's not in a serious relationship. It's hot and intimate without the full commitment of getting naked with someone & cleaning off afterwards, and it helps that she's bringing a public + outdoor sex kink to the table--even if things don't escalate to that point, the need for privacy is pretty small.

The side of her brain that makes her give in to her more mischievous bastard impulses makes kissing her #1 type of foreplay. She's able to keep herself at a pretty consistent level of arousal for a prolonged period of time while watching her partner completely come undone when she slides her tongue into their mouth in all the right ways. This is a dangerous game to play with Estinien, who is well fucking aware she's being an insufferable tease & will happily delay her own gratification at his expense. Unless he decides to haul her off to escalate things properly, she's about to spend her immediate future doing everything she possibly can to wind him up with her lips & indulgently wandering hands.

Thancred is the only other Scion to have been on the receiving end of one of her infamously white-hot kisses. It was a one-time thing, fuelled by an unholy amount of wine but was nonetheless an enjoyable encounter. (She thinks she may or may not have also done the same with Y'shtola, but that one's a far foggier memory, and she's not 100% sure it actually happened. Y'shtola doesn't help in solving the mystery, but Varha suspects this is more about Y'shtola possessing the same bastard instincts she has, and she also doesn't remember much of anything.)

Overall, she's pretty lax as long as she clicks well with someone & they're willing.

Is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection? 

To a point.

She likes touching a lot. Before now, she actually spent a fair bit of time alone. Post-Calamity, pre-Scion Varha spent her time as a travelling mercenary of sorts, taking on a string of what was essentially risky contract work and never establishing roots anywhere. She's competent when it comes to working a room, which often gives the illusion that she has more friends than she actually does. In reality, she really didn't have anyone, and predictably this led to (unconscious) touch starvation. If she's got the green light from someone she considers a friend, she's content to lean against them or sit close. One might count the physical contact from fighting as some sort of mitigation here (and as far as I remember, it actually can release some of the same chemicals in your brain as positive touch so this probably isn't too far off), but even if that was the case, it wasn't anywhere near enough. While she occasionally did engage in casual sex, the potential emotional intimacy it could lead to (or even a facsimile of the feelings) made her too uncomfortable to take care of her lack of physicality that way, which unfortunately compounded her predicament.

After spending so much time living this way, it's something she unconsciously seeks now that she's got access to it. And while his own personal history doesn't exactly match her own, there are enough similarities in the isolation to put them on fairly even ground.

Varha's caveat for pda is that it has to feel natural. She's extremely averse to anything that reads as 'fake' or trying too hard to win her attention. Something can be very obviously demonstrative, but it can't feel forced, whether the act is platonic or romantic. For most of ARR, she was actually seen as someone who could be pretty distant & cool (not an incorrect read. The walls were very, very real at the time.), and it's unfortunate that it took something drastic like the Waking Sands massacre for them to start coming down ("Wait, these people actively like me? And were concerned?"-style revelations). Over time though, it became apparent that she was actually open to hugs and kind touches, she simply wasn't a) aware that this was a something available to her and b) aware that she wanted or even needed them. She's still pretty quick to fire off a witty remark before baring her heart to anyone (talking honestly is... another beast entirely, but she readily accepts hugs & finds herself willingly sharing too-small seating areas just for the novelty of body contact.

Romantic contact operates pretty similarly. Not that she'd subject herself to seeing someone who felt the need to do a whole song & dance about how in love with her they were, she's still damn glad that's not Estinien's style in the slightest. She likes easy things--holding hands, or leaning against him if they're standing (or he's sitting; that height difference forces creativity on occasion). Hell, she's even more than happy to make herself at home on his lap in casual settings without caring who might be around. They're both incredibly blasé about this sort of thing; any attempts at friendly teasing from the Scions when they became an official 'item' fell comically flat. You definitely won't be hearing any sappy confessions of affection, but it's so obvious that they automatically gravitate toward each other regardless of most social situations.

For his part, Estinien usually likes to have his hand at least resting on her in come capacity. He's got a few draconic quirks leftover from Nidhogg, and this can manifest in some slightly possessive tendencies. Honestly, she likes it. It's nowhere near a level where it would impede her freedoms, but enough to make her feel like he's actually proud of outwardly signalling how he feels about her. She loves how casually he does it; of course she can expect him to automatically draw an arm around her shoulders if she joins him on a seat, why would he think twice about drawing attention to the fact that they're together?

It's not that he needs to be on her at all times or anything, he just... deeply prefers it, that's all. It helps that she's pretty tactile. He's been known to just sort of appear at her side at social gatherings, especially if there's any sort of crowd around her. He's not really trying to be menacing about it, and if she was irritated by it, he is capable of loosening up & finding something else to do (it doesn't happen often, but there have been times when she's needed some breathing room for whatever reason). He definitely doesn't consider himself the clingy type, and if he occasionally orchestrates it so that the Scions somehow end up short a sofa cushion & she simply has to get comfortable in his lap for a casual evening gathering with friends, no one says a word.

He's also got a habit of making small adjustments to her person if she's close enough--fixing a slightly off-center necklace, moving a piece of loose hair, that sort of thing & it's almost always done without him really realizing. This one comes with more exclusivity; she doesn't typically tolerate fussing from anyone else. She'd find it annoying if it were someone else's hand, but when he does it, it has a borderline meditative quality. Once again, pointing this out will lead to an interaction that features both of them shrugging & looking at you like you've grown a second head. They're comfortable with each other and know where the boundaries are, no, they're not concerned about holding up any type of reputation, what an odd thing to say.

They've got no problem kissing in public either, but she finds that as her name & face start becoming more recognizable, people start to get more annoying about her personal life. Plus, while she loves outdoor sex & the risk of being caught, it sort of loses the excitement when the risk factor essentially morphs into a guarantee.

This falls apart when you get liquor involved. They know how to pace themselves, but they also both like to indulge, especially among friends. After a certain amount of wine, it's not uncommon to see his arm tighten around her waist as he starts to press his face into the crook of her neck, leaving kisses that steadily amp up in intensity while she tries to carry on a conversation. Sometimes she'll play the same game, but it's more likely that she simply gets more touchy, draping herself on him in increasingly suggestive ways until one of them finally decides it's time to bid everyone a good night.

Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

Small spoon, which has more to do with how ridiculous she would feel in the opposite role.

Estinien is nearly two feet taller than Varha, despite the fact that she's actually considered relatively tall herself for a Miqo'te woman & usually wears some sort of heel, even if she's dressing for combat. She's tried to be the big spoon before, and it lasted maybe a solid ten minutes before she had to re-adjust. Also, twelve forbid he rolls on her arm in the middle of the night; waking up with pins & needles would be an understatement. He's not bulky, but he's still significantly larger (& by extension, heavier) than she is. So she typically ends up the little spoon--she's an excellent size for holding. He's pretty partial to using her thighs as a pillow during the occasional afternoon nap, dozing off while she runs her fingers through his hair.

In bed, they usually prefer some variation of him on his back and she just sort of figures herself out around him, or facing each other. She likes being able to tuck into his chest, facing away from the world with their arms around each other & legs tangled up under the sheets. He's a cuddler (no surprise there), and definitely sleeps significantly better when they share a bed.

On the other hand, she finds that the quality of her sleep dropped pretty drastically during SHB. Partly because of the cold empty bed, yes (they might not have actually openly laid out what they were to each other before her trip to the First, but they'd spent the night together "by accident" enough times before that to start developing habits), but because of the events she was experiencing. She was always prone to having some vivid dreams, and they got dialled up to eleven after, morphing into something legitimately terrifying. She's at least moderately grateful that she doesn't wake up screaming, but she does jolt awake pretty violently & getting back to sleep after can be a task. It's made significantly easier if she's got a warm, solid body to curl back into & someone who wakes up to make sure she's alright.

Is your muse attracted to any features in particular?

They're both on Team Ass in the ongoing ass vs. tits debate. Varha is pretty shameless about it too. Zero effort to hide any appreciation for the way his thighs flex in his leathers. She's less inclined towards giving verbal compliments, but her thoughts read pretty clearly on her face. Estinien has more decorum by a margin, and by that I mean he doesn't really do the frequent appreciative staring she does (though, there is a certain look he gets in his eye that signals a long night is on the horizon for her), but he will dole out some lightning-quick "compliments" in her ear, sometimes paired with a sneaky ass-grab.

Outside of that, he (of course) loves the entire expanse of her body, but he's consistently drawn to the general area of her neck/collarbones/breasts, the latter becoming more of a focal point after an impulsive decision to get both nipples pierced sometime after EW. It was a more than welcome surprise after being apart for a few months. She's got a (predictable but understandable) weakness for his hands. Skilled, strong instruments calloused & scarred from years of using a lance, she's memorized every crease & scar. Speaking of scars, it's probably another obvious choice, but she can't help wanting to run her fingers, lips & tongue over his. Estinien's collection is more impressive than hers, sporting reminders of Nidhogg on each arm, and they've become natural resting places in her explorations of him.

Have their partners been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split? 

Varha can count her partners on both hands with fingers to spare at the end of her list. She's not unfamiliar with women, but her past encounters tend to skew male. It's less to do with any real preference and more just a reflection on who was willing & who had her attention at the time. Estinien's history is likely an inverse slant with a similar ratio.

Where is your muse most sensitive? 

Feel like most Miqo'te can probably count the base of the tail as an erogenous zone. She's not super complicated beyond that, though. Biting down on her trapezius will net a pretty intense reaction, but you can probably evoke something similar just by leaving the same type of marks elsewhere on her neck.

Would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

Yes, yes & yes. She typically likes to wear things that are short & show plenty of leg even if she's not trying to be a menace. Upping the ante & hiking up her skirt a bit more isn't a problem. She knows her body well, and knows that she's objectively attractive. She's aware of all the best angles for her backside (but likes to pretend she isn't posing whatsoever). She's surprisingly pretty good about not "borrowing" clothes that don't belong to her, but loves how she looks in lingerie & one of his button-ups. But nothing really beats the pure simplicity of entering a room fresh out of the bath & dropping her towel in his line of sight. She's comfortable being nude, so the nonchalance of the act is honestly more what gets him than anything else.

Flirting, in Varha's opinion, is probably one of the most entertaining pastimes known to civilization. She's quick with double-entendres & some pretty loaded implications. She's also fond of suggestive touches or 'conveniently' brushing up against him. Basically, if she sees an opening to make it known that she's angling for something, she'll take it.

Does your muse leave hickies? Do they ask for them?

She loves to be bitten. Which is fantastic, given that he very much likes to bite. It's never really been something she's asked for with words, and the first time he suck his teeth into the side of her neck was a chance taken without asking, but there was no question that it was something that really did it for her. It's also a good thing she enjoys seeing the bruising afterwards too; Estinien isn't particularly gentle about it (surprisingly this actually doesn't have anything to do with the Dragon-like qualities he still possesses--he's just always been that way).

She can definitely get a bit bitey herself, but it's not as much of a need for her like it is for him. She's more likely to leave nail marks behind instead of hickies, though this may be at least partially a product of their positioning from the size difference.

There's definitely a part of her that likes it when you can see the marks on her neck past her shirt collar. Her favourites are always in a spot where they just peek out enough to be spotted, but she's not going to complain if they're higher or lower. She also loves it when he marks up her hips and thighs in similar ways, although those usually stay entirely hidden from public view. It's more or less a given that she's going to have some visual evidence of him on her body any time they hook up.

Has your muse reached first/second/third base? Home run? 

Well. Based on the rest of the questions. Yes.

Would your muse ever send a sexual text message? Would they send pictures?

(I have no idea if this is even possible in-universe but let's pretend it is for the sake of speculation.)

Probably. Maybe nothing in writing--she would do a passable job if she tried, but it's not really her thing. Pictures, though? I can definitely see her taking the time to set up the timer on the phone & have a mini-boudoir shoot with herself for this exact reason. Like I said, she's aware of what she looks like and knows what parts of her body he enjoys. & everyone knows a picture is worth 1000 words. To be honest, it would probably get the message across faster than any written words. I do feel like this would definitely be a 'use with caution' move, though; it's not so much a tease as it would be considered an immediate invitation.

Is your muse the type to discuss their sex life or sexual prowess with others?

If it came up, she has no problems participating in a conversation. She's also comfortable answering select questions, but there's a limit. Varha won't be sitting there offering up intense details of her latest sexual encounter without notice. She's fine if people know she has sex & know who she's with, but doesn't really want to get into it past that. Basically yes, but also, it's literally no one's business.

How interested is your muse in sex and sexual activity?

Part of the reason she was fine with not having a ton of casual sex over the years comes from being content with just getting herself off between encounters. She's got maybe a slightly above-average sex drive, but that can be taken care of solo. She's responsive, though. Estinien has a significantly higher sex drive, & it doesn't take much for her to match that

asks.

[sattlersquarry]

I have a weird relationship with s3 of Stranger Things. At first I absolutely loved it, like the vibes surrounding it were immaculate. I also just gotten really into the show, I first watched it in 2018 but for some reason it never clicked. I gave it another try in the week s3 was released and I absolutely loved it. Also my life at this point was great and overall I just had a good time. So if you would have asked me then I definitely would have placed s3 at the top spot.

Last year I started to rewatch the show before s4, a bunch of times. And by bunch of times I mean really obsessively lmao. Like I had it constantly on and with every rewatch I found myself disliking s3 more and more. If you watch the seasons back to back, the rift between s2 and s3 is so stark, it felt like you entered a completely different show. Characters like Steve, Hopper, Mike and Joyce felt like different characters, like caricatures of what we have seen till this point. They stripped Steve from his essence and made him into this dumb guy who is not capable of anything. Which really also got amplified in the fandom then. Hopper was also unnecessary aggressive, especially towards Joyce and Mike. Joyce was suddenly okay with leaving the kids behind with no problems while her entire character prior to that was the overbearing mother.

The plot, especially the Russian part was just unnecessary. It went nowhere, s4 would have been so much better if that plot wouldn't have been introduced in s3. The writers could have explored the shady US government more, or had Kali come back and fleshed her out more. She is obviously a foil to El, having her be part of what is going on in Hawkins would have been amazing. Like accidentally open a portal to hunt down Brenner, while working already with Henry/Vecna. Unbeknownst to her the Mindflayer got activated and we still could have gotten majority of the s3 plot around Nancy's group. Those points would be so much more interesting than oh the Russians again, communism sucks (I know we are in the cold war period, I literally live in Germany at the center lol but it's overdone in every media so far). It would have also allowed the show to explore the UD more instead of throwing everything at us in s4.

The more I think about the plot and characters, the more I dislike s3. The complete tone switch from semi realistic plot in small town vibe to action packed Hollywood Marvel aesthetic is just too glaring.

If you ask me objectively, my ranking is going to be s1, s2, s4, and s3.

Subjectively speaking s2 because to me everything is perfect, even the lost sister part, s1, s4 but only vol1 then s3 and lastly vol2 of s4 because those two episodes kinda ruined the entire show for me, which is for another rant lol.

“THE LOST SISTER” DEFENDERS MAKE SOME NOISE 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I truthfully will never forgive the Duffers for introducing such an interesting character in Kali and then just tossing her aside. I kept waiting for Kali to be a part of Season 4 and was so disappointed that she never showed up! If she’s not in Season 5…Duffers I just wanna talk. 

It is so strange that season 3 Joyce was okay to just leave the kids. I agreed that was weird and out of character. And Hopper was too mean. Way too mean.

Season 2 is my second fave season, it’s so good. And I agree that Volume 2 of 4 is worst…I feel like in the rush to get things out they kind of dropped the ball. Here’s hoping season 5 is much better!!!

[bignutspatrol]

aight got rid of the irls. mental illness rambling, not anything negative, just reflecting again. big talk on dissociation so avoid if thats an issue for u

idk we used to be so terrified of the whole 'integration' thing but there is something so.. calming and beautiful(?) in acting as one. we're still different in a way, but we're so blurred together that there may as well be no difference between one another. 'switches' are basically seamless at this point, though we never had too much of an issue with that. Amnesia isnt an issue, i mean theres still some memories that we cant really.. access or thinking about it brings up a mental "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS" mental prompt. but like, with no real therapy getting this far is pretty good, no? i dont think i can get too much farther on my own, but thats fine for now. i think theres one or two parts that havent been integrated, judging from gaps and things ive just kinda observed. dissociating is still kind of an issue, but its hard to tell how much of that is from mental illness and how much is from my physical shit just being really bad rn. its never for very long though, and i can snap myself out of it at this point. looking back at how i used to feel like i was.. only ever vaguely aware of things going on, voices just constantly ordering around the body like im a puppet, the fear i felt back then. felt like i was drowning in pure ass dissociation. man. shits so much better. i mean theres also the fact that we actually communicate but. its so relieving to feel like im actually in control, and to actually be in control at least at times. and also to be able to actually trust my parts now too. i still cant tell who the fuck or what the fuck i am but thats fine? i dont think it matters too much at this point. sometimes it bothers me, but like....idk man, friends say im nice n cool, so who cares. i can recognize i have some bad habits and shit, and try to work on them... and the obsession with art is pretty consistent. so is this rambling. dont think what or who i am matters much past that. we've been mostly present the last year or so and its just... its so amazing how we act when we aren't clouded in that shit. feels like a completely new person. i mean it basically is lol but. its so fucking good, i thought i was just an asshole before that but nope! just hard to care or interact with people when your mind does not exist. turns out im kinda funny and bitches like that! who fucking knew. idk when i get that driving license i think ill finally bother to get a therapist. got some things i wanna do that i can only do when i get over the whole trauma shit.

even with all that said a lot of this progress happened /after/ being single. bpds like that lol. man im so fucking glad im over the whole 'if im single i wont be able to live, i can only have a happy life if im with someone' etc shit. i get where its coming from, have that compassion, etc etc, but like... Oh man. Hindsights 20/20. turns out i fucking love myself and love being on my own. i just also love chaotic slightly-bad relationships (i have some standards. not good ones.). gotta work on that too... hah. seriously funny that i kept going on and on abt how good my relationship with [several year dude] was and then. oop. hindsight hits, turns out! probably not that great. especially in the last year. i mean he did cheat on me after leaving me in the dark for months on end so like, no shit, but. idk best not to go into detail on that one. think some ppl that know him follow here lmao. dude is fine, just a bad partner. not abusive just not a good fit for me at all. maybe i just dont understand other depressed people at all lmao? tho my depression is kinda wacky since my emotions are kinda wacky as hell. gonna absolutely have to unpack that one with a therapist. i totally get why its like that but lmaooo solving that is too hellish for me.

[hearts4yang]

bad boy!wayv and how they’d treat their s/o (♥︎+☀︎︎)

fluff/requested + bad boy!wayv x genderneutral!reader

warnings: mentions of smoking and underage drinking

kun🧸

not many people are scared of him, unless he’s pissed off in which no one dares to step near the teddy bear.

besides you, you’re only person able to calm him down.

anyways personality switch once he sees you. oh you’re in front of him he’s a sweet heart

very kind, will make you lunch and studies with you after school. he kinda walks around with everything you need as well. people who dare to fuck with him about it have a death wish.

you once gave him a cute keychain then he just walked around with it on his bag. if anyone makes fun of it, he’ll make sure they’re dead.

joking, but not really<3

(black backpack and just a small pink bunny keychain. cute.)

are you getting bullied or anyone hurting you? tell him their name and bOp unless they’re a girl in which he’ll just charm them or scare them to stop

no one hurts his baby >:/

if you do well on a test, he always goes over your house and cooks with what you have at home at 2am

ten 🐈

a bitch, a big BITCH

he loves you, but dare walk towards him and he’ll be bitch to you. of course he makes sure you know that he loves you. he just doesn’t want to ruin his reputation nor does he want to show his weak spots.

mainly his weakness which is you. man isn’t a simp, but he treats you like porcelain doll that will shatter if you touch anything in private

he is his best when he’s just with you. no cigarettes, no alcohol, and no drugs )well cigarettes and drugs are- nvm)

it was a struggle for him to drop what he liked to do, but he did it the day he found you crying your eyes out when he was at the hospital.

also to insure that he’ll have a future with you.

in public like i said he’s a bitch. he’ll tease you even though his heart breaks each time he sees you somewhat hurt.

even though he pretends like he hates you, if he hears anyone talking shit about you he’ll wreck their car or get xuxi to beat them up.

anyone planning to ask you out? he immediately down talks them to make sure no one even tries to get with his angel.

he’s very good at manipulating people ngl

yet in the end, he’ll always end up in your arms after sneaking out at 2am until you both end up asleep.

winwin🐥

silent but deadly, too be honest not many people expected him to be a bad boy until people realized he wasn’t going to classes, when they found him behind the school building with a pack of cigarettes and getting into fights.

everyone was afraid of him except for you. you weren’t really able to get him to be. some good student that revert from his ways, only able to convince him to attend class and to stop fighting with anyone who picked at him first.

(he only agreed if you helped him pass and if you sat next to him)

he was the oversized intimidating boy who walked with a small bunny bandage on his left cheek.

everyone lowkey confused on why dong sicheng, the guy known for skipping classes and beating the shit out of anyone who glared at him was in the back of the class with a stupid smile and cat stickers on his folders.

man still cold as hell and quiet, but he’s less of an asshole

unless he finds out someone had hurt you in which bOp, winwin is going to kill a bitch

even though he’s a bit mean and cold there’s days where he takes you on late night drives pass curfew.

lucas 🐶

this intimating giant is a big softie for you. he’s kind of like a giant puppy that protects you from “danger”

(i can’t see him as a bad guy he’s too soft-)

like he’d try to act like your personal body guard. he made sure to protect you and made sure that no one got near you.

he’d try not to break character, but fails miserably

he’s only considered a bad boy because he’s the school’s player. you were the new kid and his next victim and his last as he slowly began to fall in love with you. it was an unexpected plot twist.

now yukhei would baby you a lot and show you off a lot because he doesn’t want to lose you. xuxi is scared of losing the only person he loves romantically.

of course the name of him being a bad boy didn’t go away. he went to parties, he smoked and he drank even though he was underage. he also got into detention a lot for not being quiet.

he also never wore his uniform correctly so you had to fix it each time you saw him.

he’ll also beat up anyone that messes with you. i’m overexaggerating but the day someone lays a hand on you he’d throw hands

but there’s days where you and yukhei are in your room with soft music playing in the background as you sleep against his chest.

xiaojun 🦖

just like kun and sicheng, kind and quiet until he loses his temper then he’s cold as shit and will beat a bitch

also skips class to duck around in the music room

a small ball of angry but you still love him

when he’s with you he’s less aggressive, of course he’d throw shit at you like paper and pillows to get your attention.

he’ll also play the guitar for you when you’re alone in the music room during lunch break and steal your food

xiao also hates when you walk home alone so everyday he walks your home even if his house is in the opposite direction.

anyone that dares to mess with you he’ll beat them with something blunt like his guitar. therefore every year or month he ends up suspended with a new guitar

but that’s okay because he’ll do anything for you

(again i can’t see him as a bad boi because he gives me the silent kid who eats lunch alone with sicheng in the music room)

hendery👑

the kid who skateboards to school, hair is always in his face, skips classes and probably does weed.

you got together because he was nice and you worked together for a project. very wholesome

he teaches you how to skateboards and he also likes to hug you when he spots you.

hendery is very sweet with you even though he looked a bit cold, he’ll also make you laugh with random photos of him acting stupid

he also carries around hello kitty bandaids incase you fall off the skateboard.

he treats you like royalty because he’s a prince and a prince needs someone to accompany him ;))

if i see y’all in the hallways after school dancing i do not see(yes self insert but not really ya know lmao)

he’s just one hell of a sweetheart even though he’s really fucking annoying when he blows smoke in your face.

you’re getting picked on? sorry man he doesn’t care he’ll probably just throw something at them

lastly he just lays on your lap in your room with a cigarette in between his lips as music begins to slowly drown out in the background (honestly just read my skater boy hendery shit)

yangyang🐑

oh aha ha this little boy spray paints everything. the school walls, desk, cafeteria tables, cars and anything that he claims needs color.

the school gotta start putting cameras up because they never caught him so he ended up breaking the cameras and getting suspended.

normally hangs out with hendery and ten because he’s cool like that anyways he ended up with you because it’s liu yangyang. who wouldn’t love him

he takes you on random late night trips in his parents car that he stole.

he always carries around spray paint because he normally makes you come with him at like 4 in the morning so he has someone to accompany him and so that he knows he won’t get caught.

mainly because he wants company and wants you around constantly

he’s clingy and make sure you know he loves you even though he makes fun of you a lot in the hallways

you always talked back to him whenever he made rude comments towards you before y’all even dated.

pretty much only made fun of you because he liked you but expressed that awfully

he treats you like a flower. scared to put you down and gentle with you, almost like if you fell a petal would fall off.

yangyang would sneak through your window with takeout at latest hours of the day, making sure to be never seen. (p.s: your parents don’t like him)

[shintorikhazumi]

“CABBAGE”

A/N: First, I wanna apologize to the Diakko day mods that reviewed a completely different fic for me that was supposed to be my entry, but then... boom new diakko day entry. I’m sorry ;-;, I just couldn’t figure out a flow that would still have what I had in mind. Uwu, sorry for using up your precious time.

Soulmate, non-magic? AU. Cliche stuff, common trope. STILL. I’m using it. Fun fact, I slaved away for this for two/three days hoho~ peak procrastination, don’t encourage it. Also on ao3, but I have a habit of posting full chaps on tumblr. Teehee. This is... long... (could have been a crazy multi-chap, ey?) but I guess that’s what you get for trying to fit a full story with an AU setting that needs to be established. Sorry if it feels slow with regards to reaching DiAkko, but don’t worry, from when they come along til the end, you’ll have loads of them. Sorry for the pacing tho :((( I also apologize in advance if there are some OOC bits that y’all might not like. Not too confident in it, but hope you all like it. I DID NOT BETA READ THIS ANYMORE BECAUSE I’M TIRED OF THE LENGTH OF IT LMAO. Anywho...

Happy DiAkko day! Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

It was a normal thing, really. She had grown up with a thin chain slung around her neck, attached to another tiny metal thingy resting against the skin of her collarbone. On cold days, she would keep it in her pocket because god knows how weirdly tingly and-or painful that felt on bare skin. Sure she could have chosen to just wear it so that others could see it- actually, wasn’t she going against society’s rules when she hid it? She was, wasn’t she. Heck, it surprised her now that she’s realized it. Why hasn’t she been arrested yet? This is a crime isn’t it? Her mom, her dad, would they get to say their farewells once she got incarcerated-

“I can see it on your face, that you’re thinking about something totally stupid again.”

“Shut up, Sucy.”

“Just saying.” Sucy shrugs, going back to working on their chemistry lab activity. “I mean, I kinda just want you to focus on what we’re doing. Unless you want me to slip in some stuff in your project there.” She grinned in that evil little way the brunette had come to know her for.

“If I know you, which I do, you’ve probably already done that.”

“Akko! I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something like hurting my friends.” Sucy really couldn’t sell the ‘feigning shock’ act as her monotone words did little to convey emotion, and that forced gasp was probably just everyone else’s normal manner of breathing. Which was scary, now that she thought about it. Did that mean Sucy’s normal breathing was even less obvious? Oh god, now that Akko thinks about it, she would sometimes joke in her head about how she often wondered whether or not Sucy was actually dead during sleepovers.

‘I mean, come on! She sleeps like a corpse in a coffin! And she always looks so pale-’

“I knew you were thinking about something stupid again.” Once more, her thoughts were brought to a halt by that lazed, snarky voice that could only belong to her best friend who shared her mutual desire to strangle one another.

“I was just wondering if you were undead or something.”

“Screw you.”

“Wish I’d find someone to do that...” Akko muttered under her breath, to which Sucy sighed. She had heard it, and immediately knew what the Japanese was about to get hung up on. Again. Like she always did.

A hand reaching over to pat her back in consolation, but Akko felt a little worse, feeling that small, hard material lightly tapping the area along with the rest of Sucy’s hand. Sucy chuckled, sympathetically. “I know you’re constantly in a state of heat, Akko-” Or not.

“I am not, you bitch!”

Sucy could stand to ignore that. “-But really. Are you really that obsessed with finding your soulmate? We’re all young and all that jazz that those old hags keep yapping about. You have a lot of time, you know?” She smiled a sincere smile this time, trying her best to comfort her friend. “And besides, even though it’s something written on official print that most people find their soulmates at sixteen, most isn’t all.”

Akko felt a little better. Sucy could be an asshole, but as a best friend, she really knew what to say to Akko sometimes.  

“-That’s basic English that even you can understand.”

She takes it back. She takes some of her heartfelt gratitude back. “I hate you.”

“Aww, I abhor you with all of my non-existent heart as well.” Sucy smirked, swatting Akko’s attacking hand away. “Muah~” She threw in a wink for good measure.

“Ughh, oh gosh... Professor Croix!” Akko bemoaned to their supervising teacher. “Can I please use the emergency shower? And eyewash. I think Miss Manbavaran got her unholy sappiness spilled all over me.”

Croix sighed, rubbing the spot between her eyes with her thumb and index finger. Not this again. “Can’t you two ever pipe down in my class?” She sighed. “PLEASE?!”

“Nope.” -Was the deadpanned response.

“I now see why you guys are friends.” Croix groaned, walking over to their table. “You little shits just won’t give me a break. And yet, you’re so behaved with Chariot.”

“Hey! Sensei, cursing your students is bad!” Akko scolded, before adding, “Besides, this and that are separate matters. Prof Chariot is just sweet and so nice, you can’t bear the weight of guilt of hurting her. Right?” Akko turned to Sucy who just nodded.

“Shut it, Kagari. That is not a valid rea- wait... maybe it is.”

“See?”

Her head was starting to hurt. Just why had she decided to be a teacher in place of any other job involving chemistry? Really, there were so many other things she could have done!

Just as she was about to return the verbal jabs, a gentler voice inserted itself into their conversation. “Umm... guys, professor, the other students are being distracted by your... um... exchange.”

Three pairs of eyes blinked, before two widened in apologetic shock, while the other seemed to gleam in pleasure. “Sorry, Lotte.”

“Sucy, please try to look even the slightest bit sorry.”

And disappointment replaced them right away.

“Tsk.”

“Sucy... we will be having a talk back in our room.” Akko heard that audible gulp, reaching for her friend’s hand under the table, squeezing support.

“Don’t die.” She whispered.

“You too, Akko.”

“Noooo! How? I don’t even live with you two!”

Lotte was about to respond that Akko always stayed over, anyway, but the frantic screams of their teacher took the words far away from her mind.

“Akko! Akko! Your solution is bubbling! Wait, that’s not supposed to do that-” Croix’s concern was justified as in a matter of a split second, everyone in their immediate circle was covered in some bright pink substance. “SHOWER, EMERGENCY SHOWER-”

“W-we won’t all fit, Professor!” Lotte had begun tearing up, wondering if she was about to die from whatever toxic chemical their beloved dunce must have mixed in. Maybe if she prayed to something somewhere out there, the spirits of nature would take hers and maybe she could live as some kind of forest sprite in some alternate magical world, and crap, she was becoming delusional.

“Hoho~ What a nice outcome~.”

“Manbavaran!”

“Relaaaax, I switched out all of Akko’s components for some of my stuff. It was a precaution.” She smiled, unbelievably innocent-looking. “...and maybe added a little surprise.”

“Su.CY!” Akko lunged forward before being stopped mid-air, caught by the collar.

“Akko. Sucy. I’ll see you in the office later.”

“...your office?” They seemed amazingly unfazed. They’d probably been so used to being there that they must see it as a lounge of sorts. But no, Croix wasn’t going to be defeated by teenage rascals that were the cause of her hair prematurely turning white. No.

“Nope.”

“Th-then, Finneran’s?” They weren’t completely scared of the aforementioned teacher. She just gave them such an earful, sometimes they’d joke to Lotte about needing hearing aids at some point.

“No.” Croix’s smile grew despicably wide and dark. “Holbrooke’s.”

Lotte sighed in sympathy. Well, she’d expected this development sooner or later. “I’ll wait for you by the usual bench.”

//-//-//-//-//

A week of suspension. One week off school, no school or class-related updates allowed from classmates, and only check-ins and work drops from teachers. That was... surprisingly light after all the trouble they’d accumulated over the past first month of the semester. Or maybe it was because it was just the start of the school year that the headmistress really wanted as little to go wrong as possible. Preferably nothing would go wrong. Or it could also be the fact that they were in their senior year, and the teachers really wanted all their students to graduate.

But you could never tell with a group as rowdy as the ‘witches’ of Luna Nova International Institute. They were rightly labeled as such with the cursed terrors they had inflicted, every incident they’ d caused all over the school premises and beyond.

If it wasn’t Akko and Sucy, it was Jasminka somehow being able to sneak in and out of the classroom and buy out the entire snack section of the cafeteria, and making it back to class without anyone noticing. With her size, it was some kind of scary magic trick. If it wasn’t that either, then it was Constanze constantly installing who-know’s-what in the schools’ computers. It it wasn’t her, then it was Amanda and Hannah pulling at hairs, or cutting at each other’s necks, then the next thing you know they’re either making out in public, or making out in public... with Barbara. There was also Lotte when she was in her wild states of fangirling after a new Night Fall release. People tended to keep a safe distance from her during those times. (She’d once shaken a girl unconscious out of her sheer excitement at the mention of, ‘Oh, I read the latest release too’.)

Never a dull day with them.

Scarily so.

Holbrooke had smiled at them kindly as always, but there was just a little something else behind it that felt like Akko and Sucy were about to die on the spot.

“Please. I beg of you. Your first two years, we tried to overlook all your mischief as it did not pose any threat to the masses, only towards you and your friend group... well... physical harm or threat, at least. I don’t know how many people are psychologically scarred because of you.” She had said that, but they didn’t know if it was a joke, a serious statement, or both.

After being given twenty blank pages to write their usual apologies on- they shared a laugh, thinking back on when Amanda got fifty-, the pair made their merry way to the bench just by the school gate where Lotte sat, chatting alongside and excited Barbara, a Hannah with a fond smile directed at her life-time partner, and Amanda who was carrying both their bags for them, waving goodbye to Constanze and Jasminka who looked like they were just leaving.

“Aww, didn’t get to catch my little friend.” Akko pouted, wanting to hug Conz as she always did. She was so cute. And soft. Like a plush. Always calming Akko down.

“She’s gonna shoot one of her tiny lazers at you again. Those actually burn.” Amanda reminded, laughing as she remembered what Lotte told her about why they were late. “And I heard you two got some quality time with the big woman upstairs?” Her grin widened. “How many?”

“Twenty.” They responded in synch, hands aching from the memory.

“Heh... not bad. Doesn’t beat my record though.” She cackled, slinging an arm over Hannah’s shoulder, Akko not missing the glint on her left ring finger. How nice.

“Don’t egg them on, idiot.” Hannah sighed, peeling the limb off her. “And you all got nothing on these two.” She pointed a thumb to the still excitedly conversing pair. “They wrote a fucking novel for their apology. Literally. But the teachers were so tired of reading that they weren’t made to write apology notes anymore.”

“Hey! Cleaning the bathrooms aren’t the best either!” Barbara, now done with her talk with Lotte, turned to pinch the ginger’s arm.

“I mean, we all have cleaned them at some point.”

“True, true.” The group nodded in consensus.

“...”

“This is not a very good fact.” Barbara pointed out, and they all laughed, the ones seated slowly getting up, everyone ready to go home.

As they exited the gate, they all waved their goodbyes, Akko and her two best friends heading one way, and Amanda and her girls the other. Just as the sun was setting at that hour in the afternoon, red eyes caught the reflected glimmer of light against the three bands on each girl’s ring finger. Those same eyes traveled to similar hoops donned by the pair walking quietly in front of her, hands brushing by one another.

Really. She was happy all her friends had found their destined ones. Some partners may look to be as mismatched as Sucy and Lotte, and some cases were as rare as the three-way between the snarky British girls and their American idiot, but... the system had worked some magic in perfectly matching people, it seemed. They all seemed happy with who they had.

Akko didn’t know if this was some kind of spiritual occurrence like fate or the likes, or if this was just one ginormous scientific experiment on billions of guinea pigs across the globe, but... Akko wanted in on it too.

Placing a hand over where her heart was, she felt for the metal against her chest, clutching it through her uniform blouse.

Just when would her “soulmate” come?

//-//-//-//-//

Their first stop, as per usual, was the small apartment complex that Lotte and Sucy lived in. When their parents had discovered that these children had found the one meant for them, they were more than willing to help the girls move in together, and get used to a life-long companionship. They trusted them as they were both capable and level-headed, and Akko was so happy that her friends were happy. She always was.

Lotte invited her in. As always. And Akko should’ve accepted like she always did as well, but somehow, today... she just didn’t feel like it. So she made a random excuse, something believable enough, like how her parents had asked her to make dinner because they’d be home late, and the Fin just had to let her go, even if she felt something was off, and that the brunette might just be lying.

There had been a time when Lotte and Sucy had just gotten together that Akko seemed to distance herself from her best friends. They soon found out it was out of her concern that she might be intruding on their relationship, or bothering them, taking away from the time the pair could spend alone together as a couple. Obviously, they had never seen Akko as a nuisance, and were saddened she would think of such things.

With a talk, reassurances, and clarifications in place, their bond as friends became ever stronger, and more trusting.

But Akko still wanted to be considerate. Out of love.

...and maybe a little envy that made her want to distance herself from the sight of people with fulfilled partnerships.

Maybe she was just a sore, lonely loser who couldn’t truly be happy for her friends.

Who knows.

After jogging the rest of the way home, a simple five-minute distance away from the apartments, she reached that familiar wooden gate, the name plate “Kagari” shiny and clean, like her mother liked it. Pushing the swinging portion open, she walked up the driveway, smiling at her share little garden with her Mama. Looks like the vegetables were growing up healthy. Maybe she could try some new dishes out and have her friends give her feedback. The usual agenda.

“I’m home!” She called out in the foyer, shoes slipping off and set neatly to the side. A habit strongly instilled in her since childhood. “Mama?” The scents of vegetables and meat, and was that... cookies! Her mom was baking cookies! “Mama!”

Padding down the hall and entering the open living room, she found her father splayed out, snoring on the couch with a newspaper covering his face. Giggling to herself, she continued her way into the kitchen, spotting the one she’d been looking for, ear buds in and swaying to some music only she could hear. Akko smiled. Her mom was so youthful, she was such a girl. With her bright pink apron and bunny slippers, and impeccable manners and home skills.

“Ma~ma!” She called, hugging her mother’s waist from behind.

The older woman yelped, spatula flying into the air, but with Akko smoothly catching it and licking off some of the sauce on it. She tried not to look into those disproving eyes, and simply released her mother and went to wash the utensil.

“Akko...”

“I said I was home! You didn’t hear me, mama. This is revenge.” She grinned cheekily, her mother sighing before a fond smile played on her lips.

“Fine, fine. But just this once, okay?”

“Hai~” Akko gave a mock salute, enjoying this moment with her mother as the her co-brunette rolled her eyes fondly. Akko walked up to her, kissed her cheek, and attempted to “appease” her mother by offering her exemplary culinary services- or so her dad had once claimed. “Let me help you out?”

Unable to keep up the annoyed act longer, her mother slipped into giggles, turning to gather her daughter into her arms and pepper kisses all over her hair. “Thank you, baby. Please chop me up some of the veggies in the bag by the sink.”

“Roger!”

And they shared another laugh at the voice coming from the other room, screaming a sleepy, “WHO’S ROGER?! ANOTHER BOY-”

The usual always felt so good.

//-//-//-//-//

Dinner had been fairly uneventful. Her cousin- the relation fairly distant- who currently lived with them wasn’t home still, just like always. She knew he was always busy at school, and with the little business her father had him manage, so that was a normal thing as well. She had ended up just confessing to her parents what she’d done in school this time, in hopes that her being honest instead of them finding out via a phone call from school first would ease the inevitable punishment awaiting her.

It... kind of helped. Kind of.

Her father had laughed so hard, clearly amused at her and Sucy’s antics. Her mother sighed deeply, not knowing if she should even still be disappointed anymore. Akko and school accidents and incidents weren’t uncommon at all, after all. It wasn’t a surprise. Really, the biggest school-related surprise they’d gotten was the fact that Akko wanted to take a science-related course instead of an arts one. They knew it had always been her dream to be a performer. So why was she taking that when Luna Nova offered the Arts as well. It was something they would forever wonder about.

Akko was usually so open and honest with them in just about everything, but this was one thing she would never clear up with them. And they could never understand why. There was definitely a deep reason behind it. But why did she have the need to keep it to herself? They worried, but they also believed in her, that she would tell them if she needed to. She was that kind of child.

They hoped.

Kissing her parents good night, She walked away from the kitchen banter of who should wash the dishes between the two adults, and trudged up the wooden stairs to her room. Akko had offered, but they said she should just rest up. She looked like she had a long day. Besides, she had a week to help out at home. Akko shivered at the thought of being worked like a mule. That was a joke of course, but her mama could be so Spartan sometimes.

Her door clicked close, and she immediately found herself face-first in the soft covers of the lower bunk of her bed, lights of the room still down. Originally, the Kagari’s had been expecting twins because of how large Akko’s mother’s stomach had been. Apparently, they were simply blessed with a very healthy baby. (She was a fair bit taller than her mother, and had a good height for a Japanese woman). As Akko grew up, however, she insisted to keep the bunk as it seemed like it could be useful to turn into her own little fort. Plus, sleepovers wouldn’t be much of a problem in terms of space.

Flipping onto her back, she stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars pasted onto the top of her ceiling. It was fairly high up, with this side of the house being designed a little differently, the roof of Akko’s room forming a dome. This was at her request as a child after attending one of Professor Chariot’s public lectures on stars as a child. Akko had since then been hooked to them, the fading glow of the stickers allowing her sights of the constellations she’d painstakingly formed, sticking each point one by one with the help of her dad and a ladder.

She had been saving up lately to buy one of those small, portable planetarium projectors. She didn’t want to outright ask her parents for one, and she had taken a few secret part-time jobs to make up for the amount she needed. Little by little, she was getting close to her goal. She’d have one someday. One day.

Her eyes felt heavy all of a sudden, an arm moving to rest over them as her breathing slowed, thoughts drifting to stars and constellations, and myths, and tales, and fate, and...

Her world shut down.

//-//-//-//-//

“Atsuko. Atsuko, get up. Akko. Wake up, bloody hell, you sleep like a log!”

“Mmrrnghmm... eh?” Blinking her eyes open, she spotted a young man, brown hair just like hers, dressed in a cardigan and slacks, looking ready to go out on some date, or the like, or maybe he had more business as usual. “Andrew.”

“Akko.” He responded dryly. “It’s eight in the morning. I know it��s the weekend, but really, sleeping in isn’t a good habit.”

Rolling over to shield her eyes from the intrusive sunlight and man, she waved him away sloppily, ready to get back to rest, body feeling heavy for some reason.

“Akko!”

“You really do take my mom’s place when she isn’t around, Andrew.” Akko complained, sitting up, if only to get Andrew to pipe down. “Alright, I get it.” She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes, stretching her body out and taking in a breath of fresh air. “But if you’re here, I’m figuring my parents are out?”

She received a nod, followed by an explanation. “They said they had a picnic date planned for the whole day.”

Akko pouted. “Aww, and they didn’t think to take me along? How mean~”

“They tried to wake you up, believe me.” Andrew scoffed. “You could sleep through world war two without problem, however.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Get out, please.”

“Later.”

“I’m asking nicely.” Akko whined, slipping out of her bed, realizing she hadn’t changed out of her uniform last night.

“After I tell you about our plans for today.”

A well-shaped brow raised in suspicion at the words. “Our plans?” Akko voiced. “What do you mean. ‘our plans’? I don’t have any plans of spending time with you today, as far as my knowledge tells me.”

“Not that you have mu-” Andrew was about to throw in the usual insulting jab, playful banter, but refrained. He did actually need Akko to go with him.

“Hmm?” The lack of a biting response didn’t sit quite well with Akko. Something was up with her cousin, and she was sure that she was about to find out just what.

There was an awkward pause in the air before the older boy cleared his throat; maybe he should begin with getting on her good side. “L-lovely weather we’re having today.”

“Just tell me what you want from me and leave.”

“We’re going to the mall, please help me.”

“Why?”

“...”

“Why?” Akko pressed. If Andrew wasn’t going to give her a good enough explanation, she wasn’t going to move a single inch.

“...It’s Denise’s birthday soon.” He confessed, and Akko actually backed off.

“Oh.” She immediately understood what Andrew wanted without him having to expound on his earlier statement. Really, he could be such an adorable dork sometimes, especially when it came to Denise.

Denise was Andrew’s set partner. She was a kind person, gentle, lady-like, intelligent, mild-mannered, but strong-willed. She was great. Too good for Andrew, Akko would tease at times. But really, they made such a good match. She liked Denise; she was sweet to Akko, exchanged treats with her, as well as tutored her from time to time, being in the same school and all. She also kept Andrew busy and out of Akko’s hair, so she was perfect! So if not for Andrew’s sake, Akko should at least do something nice for her friend.

“Give me half an hour. I’ll be ready by then.”

Andrew breathed a sigh of relief, offering Akko a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’ll see myself out then.”

“Finally!”

With a childish sticking of the tongue out at each other, a habitual thing they had formed, Andrew had closed the door to Akko’s bedroom, not forgetting to lock it behind him for privacy’s sake. Akko was thankful.

Instead of getting up, however, and preparing for the day with Andrew out of the room, Akko lay back down on the soft mattress, eyes trained to the top of the room again. As she saw her little clusters of stars and constellations, red ribbons connecting points one to the other, always to be linked even if they were far apart, never to be broken, her regular intrusive thoughts had begun making their way to the forefront of her mind again.

Fated people... soulmates, huh. Weren’t those terms just glorified ways of saying everyone was in some kind of arranged marriage they could never get out of? Wouldn’t there be at least one person averse to all this? Maybe? But why... did all the people she’s known, who’ve met their match-why did they all seem content?

Feeling for that familiar metal piece under her clothing, she pulled it out by the chain, observing it as it glinted against the morning light. Her finger traced over the engraving on the outside, admiring the workmanship, but frowning at the words.

She thought back on it all. How all this destined person stuff all started out, as the history books told them. Before the records of History ever existed, they said that the leaders of the ancient world had gathered together, seeing the ‘sorrow of the world’, and came to a decision of what to to do to make the world better in that regard. They decided that ‘LOVE’ was the answer, as cheesy as it sounded. And so a system was put into place that would overcome barriers and seas, both literal and figurative, of difference, and bring to mankind the meaning of true joy- Akko always found it incredibly sappy and cringey when it was laid out like that.

Like any system, there were the finer details that made it all work one way or the other. It is said that people are born issued with a ring to be worn on their person on all times. It was a mystery as well, how one could never seem to outgrow the ring. Like it was made to grow alongside you. It was made out of metal, however, and it made things all the more perplexing. Who knows what magic goes on behind all of this? No one knows who makes the rings, or who created this system; nor does anyone know who assigns partners to each other. All they’ve known are the facts that the rings were created, containing words that served to be a hint to who your soulmate is supposedly. When you meet that person, you’d just know. The words, they’d just make sense. It didn’t matter if it never did all your life. One day, everything would just click, apparently. That was how the words were chosen, they said. Then these rings would be distributed to countries and the government would be responsible in ensuring that they got to their rightful owners.

Honestly, this whole thing sounded like some deep cult-ish shit, and Akko was quite shocked that she- along with possibly millions, or billions- had never questioned it before. After all, it was the usual; as always, the norm. It could be something of a mysterious world movement that no one knew of, but with it simply claiming to have the goal of ‘bringing happiness to all citizens’, people hardly seemed to mind where it took them.

Akko remembered the first time she ever found it weird. She was in the fourth grade, and that day, they had learned the importance of the words on the rings. ‘Hints to finding your one, true love, their teacher had claimed, trying to rouse excitement from the students at the prospect of soulmates.

And while every other little girl squealed in joy and giddiness upon reading the words written on their rings, Akko had a look of distaste on her face at the sight of her words, immediately hiding the item from possibly prying eyes of her classmates who had already began to compare words with others.

She hated it. She had then ran home to tell her mother about it.

“Mooommm! Mom!”

“Akko? What’s wrong? You’re all sweaty and you still have your outdoor boots on-”

“Why does my word suck so much?”

“Huh?” The woman was lost for words, confounded by a simple question.

“Why does it suck so much? My word!  I mean...” Holding her ring out for her Mama to see, Akko continued on her rant. “What the heck does cabbage even mean?! IS HE A FARMER?! DOES MY SOULMATE LIKE CABBAGE THAT MUCH?!”

“Ah... well...”

“Why couldn’t it be something cool like yours and dads. ‘Eyes like rubies’, and ‘Rider from the north’ just sounds so badass and romantic! And then there’s me with CABBAGE.  Sure, the ring is pretty and all, but... WHAT IS CABBAGE?!”

“I... don’t know, sweetheart.”

Akko had felt so frustrated with her word, that she wanted to cry. “My soulmate sucks!”

Thinking back on those times, she sure was such a child. It wasn’t her soulmate’s fault that the government or whatever authority or higher power decided to describe him or her that way. If anything, her partner is a victim of slander. Even Sucy had it better with the description. Akko chuckled mirthlessly. What are those people thinking. Ah, her head was starting to hurt from overthinking all this.

“’Bring happiness to all citizens’, my ass. With a hint as weird and cryptic as this, how am I supposed to be ‘happy’ like everyone else?” Akko sighed once more, unclasping the chain from behind her neck, and taking her ring off, hanging it over her eyes, watching it dangle in the air, the elegant cursive of ‘cabbage’ pissing her off a little more than it should.

Along with the ring came a handbook of sorts. Akko’s sat atop her bedside drawer. In it were more rules, guidelines, and information to be taken note of, but they could only be read at certain ages, sections sealed off by some kind of technology that only unlocked come one’s birthday. An example of a rule was related to how to wear the ring. It didn’t seem to be a heavily imposed rule as Akko had done away with it all her life. It was that rings should be worn on your right ring finger so long as you hadn’t found your assigned partner, moving it to your left once you have. Akko had been ashamed of her word and had always carried it around her neck, hidden underneath her clothes. Her mother had scolded her for it in the past, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to get teased by the other children for having such a strange hint. She had believed that it would give her a hard time.

And it still did. With it being so vague and odd, there was no way this hint made much sense to her, at all. Would she ever find the person her whole being was linked to for a lifetime?

Besides the rules came soulmate-related explanation for the rings and words. An instance of this would be that the meaning behind the words would only be revealed to them once they entered fourth grade. She never understood the significance of that. Why couldn’t one just read through everything and understand it all at once? Well, not that it mattered. She would soon be turning eighteen, and opening a section that made her feel just the slightest bit bitter.

[What to do if you haven’t found your soulmate yet.]

Sucy may have told her that each person had their own time, and that she was still young, and had plenty of years to go searching. But when everyone else around you had already found theirs by the “normal” designated time, you’d start to feel quite isolated and lonely, right? She was already different from the rest with the weird-ass word she was stuck with, and now she wasn’t even close to being on the right track to finding the person it was pointing to.

It was frustrating.

Three knocks and a voice followed suit. “Akko? Are you ready? It’s been about twenty-five minutes, but I didn’t hear any noise coming from your room. Are you actually okay?”

Right. Andrew.

“I’m fine! Sorry, I got lost in thought. Be right out! Maybe in fifteen! My bad, really.”

“It’s fine, I’m the one requesting a favor, after all!” Andrew responded through the wood, and Akko felt his presence leave her immediate area.

Hopping off her bed and grabbing her towel, she made her way to the bathroom. Maybe a cold shower would help her stop thinking about all of this for a few. She really should stop questioning the whole system of practically the whole world. It wasn’t good for her sanity.

Turning on the shower and soaking herself, her assumption of her endangered mental health was confirmed.

“AH, I FORGOT TO STRIP!”

//-//-//-//-//

“You sure took your sweet time getting ready.” Andrew commented, locking the door behind them and tossing the keys into his pocket as they got to walking. Opening the gate for Akko with a bow, they shared a laugh, going on their merry way down the street.

As often as they got on one another’s nerves, they undeniably enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice. Akko liked it to an extent. The conversation was fun, the exchanges never dull, it was time spent well. What she didn’t like about hanging around with Andrew were all the stares and glares she got from people around. Much like now.

It would’ve been great if it ended with just observation, but there was always that one brave (or maybe stupid) soul who would come up to the pair to ask if they were an item. The brunette pair would then proceed to do their usual schtick of jumping a meter away from each other, and pretending to gag whilst glaring.

“NO WAY. WITH HER/HIM?!”

And despite the denial, instead of feeling joy at the availability of Andrew- Akko assumed it was him that people always wanted to confirm about anyway- there was no delight, only some form of fear. The creeped-out kind maybe?

Continuing their walk, Akko slapped Andrew’s shoulder, hard. The boy looked like he could bite her.

“Ugh... it’s already such a pain in school when we have joint functions and people mistake us for a couple. I was hoping it was obvious we were related.”

Andrew scoffed at the statement. “I’m sorry, but I’m actually quite pleased I don’t look to be related to your ugly face.”

He deserved the stronger smack, Akko would say.

“AKKO! That hurt!”

“You know what else hurts? The fact that people can’t seem to get it in their heads that not every guy and girl walking next to each other are partners. Damn, and I used to think it was a good thing that I could use you to get out of awkward confession situations.” Sometimes people did that, despite the entire ‘destined partner’ situation. “Weird times.”

“You actually get confessed to? Hahaha, why? Guys must need glasses.”

The tall lad flinched at the held up fist. “I’m kidding. You’re actually growing up to be quite pretty Akko.”

Eyes wide one second, then smiling sweetly the next, a chill ran up Andrew’s spine at Akko’s reaction... that suddenly morphed into disgust, a hand pinching his side. “Ew, I kinda liked you better when you weren’t so gross and cheesy.”

“Ah- h-hurts, that, Akko, that stings, ouch! Let go! I was trying to be nice!” Andrew retaliated with his own pinch to Akko’s slightly rounded cheeks. “Let go!”

“You lwet gfho!” They released their holds at the same time, rubbing the sore spots on their bodies. “Why were you suddenly being all weird?”

“...ate...etter...man...”

“What was that?” Akko couldn’t understand any of Andrew’s incoherent mumbling.

“...My soulmate told me I should really try to be a better gentleman... to you...”

“Haha, she’s right about that! You’re such a dick!”

“Oi!”

Before Andrew could physically get back at her, Akko made a dash to the mall entrance across the street right as the street light turned green for pedestrians. “Loser has to buy the other ice-cream!”

“That’s cheating!”

“Maybe!”

//-//-//-//-//

“See? You’re all out of energy now because of how rowdy you were earlier today.” Andrew scolded, hands on his hips, a paper bag with the chosen gift in it, slung around one wrist.

“Y’think so? This is usually... hah... nothing... to me.” Akko panted, plopping down on one metal chair by the ice-cream bar. “Weird.”

Andrew sighed, deciding to cater to Akko’s needs since she was nice enough to help him out today. “I’ll get you a water. What flavor of ice-cream would you like?”

“Matcha-Vanilla~” Akko drawled, now slumped against the table, liking the cool surface against her somehow, heated cheek. “Go forth, my peasant!”

“Noted, your eminence.”

“Mm, mm!” Akko nodded in approval, arms going under her head to cushion it. Her eyes were getting heavy. Did all that walking around really make her that tired? Her head was starting to hurt, and her body still felt heavy. Just what-

//-//-//-//-//

“Akko. Akko! Atsuko!”

‘...Andrew?’

“Tsk. Should I call an ambulance?”

‘Andrew...’

“Excuse me, are you in need of any assistance for your friend? My family owns a hospital nearby and we could take her there.”

Akko felt Andrew’s hand supporting her suddenly tense. “Geh- Cavendish...”

“My, Sir Hanbridge. Date?”

“Cousin.”

“Hmm...”

Oh? Someone... A lady? What a nice voice. Somehow it was comforting to Akko. It felt warm, it felt kind, it felt gentle. For a voice to feel something rather than sound like something, Akko must really be out of it.

Hands.

Careful, tender.

“A-An... wha-”

“Akko! Don’t talk. Just rest.”

“Akko, huh. Is that her name? Miss Akko?”

“mmrm?”

“You’ll be alright.”

That voice. Akko wanted to believe it. Who...

Soft. Soft. Akko was leaning against something soft.

“You’’ll be alright.” Was said again.

“Akko, you’ll be alright.” Ah, Andrew. But somehow, Akko would rather hear those words from the other person currently holding her in her arms. She felt bad. Not just in the sick kind of way. What was she supposed to do again? Oh right, she was helping Andrew. Where was she? Was she causing trouble? Ah, what if she was bothering this sweet-smelling, comfortable-feeling, gentle-sounding lady.

‘Hey... you...’ Hmm, her voice wasn’t quite working like it should. Maybe she should try to express herself again. Clearing her terribly scratchy and dry throat, she managed to croak out a single word.

“So...rry...”

“It’s alright.”

//-//-//-//-//

White ceiling, the absence of sticker-stars. Dim lighting, the low thrum of the air conditioner unit, and the occasional sound of something dripping. The scent of antiseptic.

Her right hand felt uncomfortable, like something was stuck in it. She lifted it up, seeing a slim tube running out of some secure, clear tape.

“You’re in the hospital, idiot.”

“Never a quiet moment with you, Andrew.”

A sigh. “I was worried.”

“...Mm. I’m sorry...”

“You didn’t tell me you were feeling unwell.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Couldn’t tell.”

“Akko!”

“Say, Andrew. Who was with you earlier?”

“Don’t change the subject, Akko- huh?” Reprimanding words died on the boy’s lips as the question sunk in. “Ahhh.” Recollections of earlier events came in. “The daughter of the owner of this place.” He threw in a few other details he thought Akko would want to know. “High-class lady. This place does too.” He decided to humor her queries, knowing she didn’t want to argue with Andrew anymore. He didn’t either, not when she was like this. A time and place for everything.

“Hmm...” Akko hummed, sitting upright and looking out the window. Andrew panicked, stepping forward, but Akko shooed her cousin away. “She sounded nice.” Akko commented. “Was she pretty?” Somehow her mind wanted to know. Her heart was clenching in some unknown need to know more about a voice she barely registered, a touch she fleetingly felt.

“You could say that. I guess to most, she’d be considered gorgeous?” Andrew mused. “Weird hair though.” Was added as an afterthought.

“Heh...”

“Curious?” He didn’t say it in a teasing town, only genuinely inquisitive at Akko’s not-so-subtle expression of interest in someone she barely even met.

“No? Not really.” She responded, everything becoming still. “Can I go home?”

“Once your tests come in.”

“How long have I been here?”

“Overnight.”

“Mama and dad?”

“Dropped by while you were asleep. Uncle was sobbing buckets, but Auntie dragged him out because they both had work. They paid off the bill and said they’ll see you when we all get home.”

Akko sighed, dropping back against her pillows. “I can’t believe I’ve caused so much trouble in a span of, what, three days?” Covering her face with one of the pillows, she screamed lightly into it, the muffled sound concerning Andrew. “I have to apologize a lot to them. Have to make it up to them... I even had them spend a lot of money on -ow! Andrew!”

Retracting the hand he used to chop her head, Andrew huffed. “Stop that. Your parents love you, you’re not a bother. Shut it. If you really want to make it up to them, get some rest right now as we wait, and get better soon. I suggest you make some dinner if you’re well enough.” He knew she often had insecurities, and tried her best not to bother people so much. He’d observed it from her relationship with her two best friends. She really was just a ball of energy that she couldn’t help but cause scenes, though. People hardly minded, anyway. If only she realized.

“Duly noted.”

Andrew nodded, walking over to the bed and sitting at the edge, whipping his head about to glare at the  owner of the leg that had just attempted to kick him off.

“You’re making the foam awkwardly sink. It’s uncomfortable. You’re inconveniencing the patient’s recovery.” Akko grinned, trying to get rid of the stuffy atmosphere that had settled by stirring up another banter session.

“Could you settle down for once?”

“I mean, I could.”

“Unbelievable.” He chuckled. “Fine, fine, I’ll give you your space. I’m going to the store. Want anything?” He offered, since the ice-cream he initially was supposed to treat her to as thanks was long since forgone on some cemented floor, probably already cleaned up by the workers of the shop.

“Orange juice.”

“Coffee? Understood.”

“Ass.”

“The good ass genes run in our family.”

“Oh my gosh, you did not just say that.” Akko guffawed, waving her hands, eyes sparkling with pride at the crude joke of her prim and proper, perfect-gentleman cousin.

“I did not just say that.” Andrew smirked. “Now rest before your fever comes back from all that tension you release. Good thing you’re off school for a while.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I’ll be back in fifteen.”

“Hai~”

“Don’t disappear.”

“...”

“AKKO!”

“I won’t, I won’t!” She giggled, dropping the tease. “Now scram!”

“I swear to god...”

And with that, she was alone again.

Great. More time alone with her thoughts. And what better way to occupy that blank space that was her mind then to fill it with all her doubts, insecurities, and questionings.

One particular question stood out at that moment.

“Who... was the owner of that voice...” Along with that single question came a wave of interconnected ones that Akko could not understand. Why was there this sudden desire to just... know.

What did she look like? How tall was she? Was she fair-skinned? Tanned? Long hair? Short hair? Curled or not? How old was she? Were they the same age? Was she an older lady? Was she maybe in the same grade? From the haze that was her memories, it seemed Andrew knew her? An acquaintance? Why couldn’t he give Akko more details besides insulting that woman’s hair? Where was she from? She had an accent. British? Scottish? Did she live around these parts? Why...

Why was Akko so curious?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Andrew, you know you can just, like... come in, right? You know I can’t even get up to open the door for yoouuu...huuu...” With the door swinging open to reveal the person on the otherside, Akko could only hope that she did not appear to be the stupid-looking gay dance she most probably was. “-...huuu...who...?”

‘Beautiful.’

“I apologize for the intrusion, but I just wanted to check on you. Oh, you may not even know me, I’m sorry. I should probably introduce myself, isn’t that right? Oh blood hell, Andrew, telling me to check on someone I barely know because you want to go off somewhere...” Akko heard her mutter that last bit under her breath before watching this gorgeous lady seemingly recover her senses. “-Ah, apologies, um... sorry! Wow, I suppose I’m saying that too much, aren’t I? We didn’t exactly ‘meet’ earlier, but... I don’t know, I was probably meddling in issues not concerning me, but... I couldn’t help but want to help you out. It was an automatic reaction as someone who has wanted to be a healthcare professional all my life, and I was so used to it, and then it just so happened to be Andrew and... well, you and- and I-” Fair skin, lithe, fairly tall frame, a melodic voice, gorgeous blue eyes hidden by long lashes and ...strange hair, due to an immediate bow upon spotting the confused gaze of the patient; this person was...

“You’re rambling, miss.”

Said Miss bristled, expression flustered and eyes darting about in her embarrassment. “S-sorry.”

Akko panicked at the saddened apology. She just made a pretty girl sad! “N-no! I-” Their eyes met and then it was one of the most magical and equally painful moments of Akko’s life, she concluded. “Hi.”

“Hello.” The girl nodded back in acknowledgement.

“Akko.” She blurted out. Then just like that she witnessed a world wonder contained in such a small room, in just one girl. There was just something in the way her eyes lit up that pleased Akko very much. It was as though she was the catalyst for such a breath-taking phenomena. Blue stars, passionately burning, brightly so, like her favorite celestial bodies. “...Rigel...” She murmured.

“Huh?”

“Oh? Huh? Eh, um...” Arms flapping about, she tried to graps control of the conversation, not knowing where it was going anymore. “Uh, my... name! My name is Akko! Ahaha, sorry ‘bout that.” --She scratched the back of her head sheepishly with the hand not attached to the IV tube.

“Miss Akko... Rigel?” She tilted her head, and by gods that was the cutest thing Akko had ever seen in her life. But Wait-

“Oh! No, nono... no hahaha.” She laughed, waving her hands in front of her, realizing that what she said had been mistaken as her name.

“I... My name is Kagari Atsuko, but you can call me Akko.” She clumsily reintroduced herself.

“And Rigel...?”

‘Is a blue star that is put to shame when in comparison to your ethereal ocean eyes-’

“Oh, it’s just... just a star I like, hahaha...ha..ha.” She needed to save this dying interaction, fast. She didn’t want this goddess of a lady to walk away just yet. Who was she? Why was Akko panicking so badly? Why was her heart running miles per second? Where did these confusing feelings stirring from her chest come from? Could this just be... Was this girl... Was she... could she be who Akko thought she was? She didn’t even know her name yet, but the way she made her feel, it was like some universal, natural phenomena that could only make sense in the context of... that. Who was she? Who was she? Who-

“Diana.”

Diana, apparently.

“Diana.” She tested, the name unfamiliar, but incredibly welcome and sliding off her tongue so naturally, and with ease. Like she was meant to know such a name all her life. “Nice to meet you.”

She patted herself on the back for a good greeting, with good manners, even happier when she received a soft smile in return.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

“No, no, the pleasure is mine, I mean... pleasure, I’m... feels good to meet you, I mean, because you saved me and all, from what I can understand, so pleasure, good feels- no- what am i saying?! I’m sorry, Diana, er miss? Diana? Miss Diana?”

“Diana is fine.”

Diana was indeed SO fine.

“Th-thank you for being so beautiful.”

“What?”

“Tha-thanks for saving me, I mean, helping Andrew out in saving me, but that means you saved me too, so I just thought I should properly thank you and all that and express gratitude because that’s the right thing to do, amiright? And of course I’m right so thank you, Diana, thanks for everything, and the hospital and the room and all, oh but you don’t own it, but your family does, so does that mean you own it-”

“Akko.”

“Yes?!”

“You’re rambling, Akko.”

Akko was a burning hot mess of foolishness, but if it prompted such heavenly giggles from such an angel- no a goddess, alongside her name that sounded divine coming from soft pink lips- that she was absolutely not staring at- then she hardly minded at all.

And then there was silence.

“So...”

“So...”

Diana awkwardly shuffled on her spot, the tip of her shoe tapping against the floor impatiently, hand fiddling with a button on her shirt. It took so much willpower for Akko not to direct her eyes there.

“I guess I’ll get going.”

“A-already?”

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

“Ah... I mean... if you have... stuff to do, I guess... I... shouldn’t be stopping you or anything of the sort, right?”

Akko didn’t like that frown, however miniscule it was, on Diana’s face.

“I... I’m a little busy, I apologize.” She spoke softly. Akko’s heart clenched, and she cursed her insensitive ways. “But... I can come back tomorrow? If you’d like?” -And it leaped up in joy just as quick. More time! More Diana! More getting to know her!

“Y-Yes! Of course! I’ll wait here for you! Pinky swear! I- woah...” The world was suddenly spinning, and Akko had to lean back for a moment, vision swimming in color.

“Akko!”

Said girl was beginning to get addicted to the feeling of Diana’s presence by her side. That was not necessarily a good or bad thing. She couldn’t get attached to her, not when she knew nothing about her. She couldn’t... be acknowledging these feelings blossoming out of nowhere without confirmation of whether or not this person was meant to be hers, and she was meant to be with as well. But she was addicting, Diana. A strong drug. Just one whiff and she was high on her existence.

“Geez, you should be resting. I’m sorry for bothering you, and keeping you up this long.”

Akko heard none of those words. Akko was curious. So Akko just had to check. Hands weakly grasping Diana’s cooler ones, fingers roamed, feeling around until they touched even colder metal... on Diana’s... left... hand.

“Akko?” The concern was palpable in her voice, Akko’s senses blurring the world out as her hands dropped to her side.

Frustrating.

She somehow hoped what she’d been experiencing these past few minutes were the signs of her finding her soulmate, but it seemed as though she may have been wrong. Maybe it was simply infatuation, or a shameless lust overtaking her in her weakened state.

It shouldn’t be this frustrating.

It shouldn’t be this painful.

She shouldn’t have been so impatient and jumped to subconscious conclusions.

Diana had already found her soulmate. Just like everyone else.

Everyone but Akko.

//-//-//-//-//

When she came to, it was dark. She felt much better than she had yesterday, and earlier on today. Turning to her right, she saw Andrew seated on a chair, back facing her as he was conversing with someone.

“I wonder what got into that girl? Her new friend seemed worried.” That voice...

‘Mama.’

“You mean Diana?”

Akko flinched at the name.

“Is that her name? My, she was so cute. If you weren’t already matched to someone, Andrew, I think you’d look good together.” Akko felt a twinge in her chest, only slightly soothed by the sound of Andrew choking on something, his drink maybe. Tea? Coffee?

“I’d rather not be involved with her like that.” Andrew responded after composing himself.

“Eehh-”

Akko couldn’t listen any longer. The pain of everything was just starting to come back. She just wanted to get away. Away from this place that kept reminding her of her chance encounter. She just wanted to go home. She just wanted to hug her mama.

“Ma...ma...” Her voice warbled. “Mama...” She tried, louder. Somehow her voice was so weak, the thought of it not being able to reach the person she trusted the most in the world, hurt. “Ma... ma... mama! Mamaaa...” Slowly, she regained her voice, cracked and unsteady. And finally she was heard. “Mama!”

“Akko!” Before Akko could even blink again, the woman was at her side, a hand brushing bangs away to clear her warm forehead, a refreshing kiss planted there. “Akko, my baby.”

“M-mama... Mamaaa...” She moaned out, engulfing the woman in her tight hold, sinking into a familiar scent. “Mama...”

“Yes, Yes. I’m here. I’m here, Akko.” She cooed, hands combing through chocoloate-colored tresses.

“Mama.”

“Yes?”

“I wanna go home.”

“Eh? But you aren’t okay yet-”

“Please. Let me go home...”

She felt her mother pull back. She couldn’t face the eyes seeking hers. “Akko? What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’re not feeling well, and yet you want to go home before you get better. Is something the matter?” Akko couldn’t lie to those.

But she could try.

“I just think I’ll be able to rest better at home. My... my fever isn’t that bad.”

“But you were just crying out for me...”

“I was just... feeling lonely. Please, Mama. Let’s go home.” She couldn’t say it was because she didn’t want to meet a certain lady, weird blonde hair and enchanting blue stars never leaving her memory. “Please...” Because more than the pain inflicted by her sickness, she couldn’t stand the squeezing of her heart, its labored pounding more burdensome than the throbbing in her head. “Please, mama.”

“Akko...”

“Don’t be such a selfish brat.”Andrew scolded, eyes burning into the Akko’s skin. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t want to cause anyone trouble?”

Akko deflated in her mother’s embrace, and the elder boy sighed. He really hated seriously hurting Akko, especially emotionally. “But... We can leave first thing in the morning tomorrow, if you prove to be alright.” He turned the other way, hiding his expression from the girl. “So just get better.”

“Andrew...”

“Get better soon.”

//-//-//-//-//

It was against institutional rules to be running about in the building at any given time. Crowded or cleared, the halls were not made for such dangerous sport. Workers constantly made their way through these corridors; some pushing wide carts carrying planned food and beverage for every patient in the hospital; some nurses walked along with important, and sometimes painstakingly prepared medicine and treatments for patients that Diana threatened to compromise should she bump into them. In other areas she could risk bumping into one of the sanitary maintenance people, infectious waste at the risk of being spilled all over.

And Diana grew aware of all these things, surrounded by them from a tender age. Yet at this moment, she was in complete disregard for them, her footsteps rushed and padding softly against a marbled floor. Her eyes scanned every plaque above each door she passed, counting off the numbers, and reading the letters, her trip on autopilot.

One more corner, just the end of that corner. If she rounded that, then walked past three more rooms- She was feeling a regretful that she couldn’t come by earlier, the colors of the afternoon sky telling her just how close she was cutting it to the end of visiting hours. Curse all the school-transfer procedures she had to sit through. They didn’t need to take that long, did they? But she had made a promise of sorts. She had promised her new... friend, Akko that she’d come by and see her. She must not keep her waiting. She didn’t quite understand what it was that made her so happy about the prospect that the other girl actually wanted to see her- Diana assumed as such with how she was acting yesterday. Really... it was amazing.

Diana herself couldn’t deny that she saw something different in Akko, a substance far beyond what others could offer her that suddenly shifted the usual motions of her world upon meeting this girl. All her life, so many people came along trying to woo her, claiming that she was the one defined by their flimsy phrases that never moved her heart. ‘Beautiful lass’, ‘doctor’s daughter’, titles among other things. She had even found out a few faked rings that had been promptly reported to authorities for the grave sin committed. Thus, Diana could trust no words written on silly little rings; only the one written on her own, worn about her left ring finger.

She hadn’t found her soulmate, no. And maybe this was against the universal rules of whatever matchmaking system had engulfed society, but Diana did not want to be caught in a trap of a forever she could not escape unless she was absolutely sure that this was it. Maybe it would be unfair to her soulmate; maybe it would throw them off; maybe they wouldn’t realize right away; but if there was one thing Diana believed in that was rooted in this entire system, it was that if you met the one meant for you, you would know.

Her mother told her so. And Diana trusted her mother’s words above all other words.

One more door, one more plaque. Diana readied a hand to knock against closed-...open? The door was... open. Did Akko have visiting doctors? They sometimes left doors open for quick checks to save time during rounds. But no, that did not seem to be the case. She was surprised to see one of the cleaning personnel of the hospital folding up the sheets of the bed, passing it to his companion before they changed the covers.

Approaching an elderly male of the pair currently clearing the room out of any trash possibly left behind, Diana respectfully inquired, “Um sir? Where is the occupant of this room?”.

“Hmm? Ah! Young Miss, what are you doing here? Oh, were you perhaps the friend of the little girl staying here recently?”

“You... could say that.” Diana muttered, unsure.

“Oh, then she must have just forgotten to tell, you ey? Already left, y’see. The little miss, along with her mother and some fine lookin’ gentleman. Do you think that could be ‘er soulmate? Ah~ young, concerned love.”

Diana tasted an inexplicable bitterness in her mouth, heart squeezing. “Y-young man?”

“Mm-mm! Handsome fella, looked kinda familiar, but maybe I’m just getting it on in years.”

That... couldn’t be, right? While Diana wasn’t one to be guided purely by feeling, priding in her rationality, she just knew that that couldn’t be. After all... Akko was the only one she’d ever felt this strongly for in the lifetime she’s lived so far. She’d swear on her family’s motto of ‘affection’ that she’d only offer her fullest romances to the one the universe had destined for her, corny as that may sound.

She just knew it. She just knew it was Akko.

So who-

Andrew.

She suddenly chuckled. Of course. Who else could that young chap accompanying Akko be? He was the one who came with Diana to the hospital, he was the one who had told her go take that first visit. So of course, logically, without a doubt, the man that Akko should have been with was Andrew. Of course.

And there was nothing to worry about, soulmate-wise. Diana knew Andrew already had someone. She’d met up with them constantly at banquets. There was no obstacle, no other person for Akko. Right?

Akko... Akko who wasn’t here. In this room. Gloom encompassed her heart as she stared at the room dimming bit-by-bit as the staff turned off the lights. They told her that they should get leaving, and Diana nodded, informing them she’d just do one last look over the room for any possible missed items, then she’d lock the room herself, to which the workers reluctantly agreed, unable to go against the owner’s daughter. Well, she was known to be a good kid, so nothing should be wrong with that.

Diana, now left alone, remained stood by the doorway that served as the only light source to the room for a few more seconds. It wasn’t like constantly looking into it would magically make the one she was seeking appear, huh? With a deep exhale, she closed the door behind her, frown tugging at the edges of her mouth.

“You said you’d wait for me.”

//-//-//-//-//

Scritch. Scratch. A line, then two. A squiggle, a letter. A bubble from brew-

...huh?

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping me with my homework?” Akko frowns at her companion currently mixing questionable substances on her floor-table in her room. “That is why you’re here, right?”

“Course not. What fun would that be?”

“Should’ve known better than to invite you over.” Akko muttered under her breath, getting back to the unending pile of chemistry homework she was sure Croix assigned to them out of spite. “And how did you finish this all, anyway?”

“I’m smart like that.”

“You’re mean like that. Why can’t you help me out at least?”

“I believe that learning for yourself is the best teacher.” Sucy replied, emotionless as always.

“No you don’t.”

“True.”

“Hah...” Akko gave up. Forget getting help from Sucy. That wasn’t a possible feat, now that she thought about it clearly. The girl was just bored out of her mind so she easily agreed to come over. Akko was sure of it. Without Lotte in the house, and on their fifth and final schoolday away, Sucy- who had slowly gotten used to the concept of companionship- must have just wanted someone around, regardless of whether there was flowing conversation or not.

“Akko?” Andrew’s voice came from behind the door. Finally! A distraction! Wait, wasn’t Akko avoiding Andrew lately? Why was she avoiding him lately? “Akko?”

“Come in!”

“...huh? You’re actually letting me in?” The muffled voice asked, door now ajar. “Hey Akko, so... about what I’ve been telling you all week...” He began, looking nervous, and Akko had to wonder why. “So my friend, Diana, she-”

Ah. Right.

That’s why.

Quick on her feet, Akko gunned for the door, pushing it forcefully, and locking Andrew out, the boy’s yells the only things making it through the barrier.

“Akko! Akko! OH, COME ON! We’ve been at this the whole week!”

“And I told you this whole week, I don’t wanna hear it!!!” Akko hollered back.

“But WHY?!” Andrew’s exasperation oozed out of his voice. “Just give me a reason! Give her a reason! From what I’ve heard, you seemed to have hit it off pretty well?”

“Says who?” Akko asked.

“Diana!” Andrew didn’t like yelling, but Akko was being so hard-headed after he mentioned his blonde acquaintance. “Just what happened between you two?”

“Nothing! Nothing happened!!!”

“Then why does she keep bugging me about you, and why are you avoiding her like the plague?!”

...Why was Akko avoiding Diana? Was there any reason to? They’d met just the other day, had the most awkward conversation in her life to date, and then Akko felt something. Something she shouldn’t have, and let her hopes up, only to drop them lower than where they already were; and none of that was Diana’s fault. If anything, Diana could have proven to be another great friend she’d make along the way in life, y’know?

Akko didn’t know. She didn’t know what was going on; within herself, within her mind and her heart, in that one moment frozen in time between her and Diana, in a silent hospital room.

“I don’t know, Andrew. I don’t.”

Sucy’s potion stopped brewing.

//-//-//-//-//

“MY MADLADS! I MISSED YOU UGLY FACES!”

“Ugh, Amanda.”

“Oi!”

Akko grinned, messing up Amanda’s fiery mane in comfort from being rejected by Sucy. “Missed you too, Amanda.” A high-five rang out through the school lobby, the two energetic troublemakers missing that burning feeling on their palms.

“But man, you guys sure missed a lot. Who knew a week without y’all could turn the school upside-down.” Amanda whistled, their small group of eight finally assembling complete as Jasminka and Constanze walked up.

The small girl gave Akko this look that she completely understood, giving the girl a big thumbs up, and receiving a smile and nod. Jasna held out a lollipop which Akko gratefully accepted, and they all made their way to the corridors.

Suddenly registering what Amanda said a few moments ago, Akko’s interest was piqued. “What did you mean by turning the school upside-down?” She wondered just how much a school could change for her who was out for a week.

“Oh, well, maybe I was exaggerating a tiny bit.” Amanda chuckled, scratching her cheek. “Just that, some new girl came along and now everyone is all head over heels for her somehow.” Amanda fake-cried, sniffling up some. “She even stole my babes! Along with all my popularity!!!”

That earned her two smacks to the head from two certain British girls. “We already told you, she was our childhood friend! Of course we’re inclined to keep her company and show her around!” They defended, scoffing. “Besides, you didn’t mind ogling her at all the other day, huh? You should feel grateful we let you in our dorm the other day.”

“B-babies...”

“Oof. You brought that on yourself, hot stuff.” Sucy grinned, wickedly. “But now I’m curious. If she could even catch Amanda’s eyes then...”

“Total hottie.” Jasminka commented through a mouthful of chips. “Everyone can vouch for that.”

“Woah, even Jas...” Akko laughed lightly. “Alrighty, let’s meet this new kid in town then! Where is she and what’s her name?” Just as they were about to pass the headmistress’ office and head for their homeroom, a hand tugged at the brunette’s collar, along with Sucy’s.

“Wait a second, you two. You’re supposed to report to Professor Holbrooke first, right?” Lotte, ever the dutiful friend, reminded.

“Ah dang, right.” Akko scratched her cheek, throwing Sucy a beckoning glance. “Guess it’s better to just get it over with.” She shrugged.

“Whatever.”

“See you all in class!” Akko waved goodbye, smiling as Lotte left a peck on her pale friend’s cheek, enjoying her rarely flustered state. Her heart warmed when Lotte gave her one two, patting the blonde’s hair fondly. “Thanks, Lotte.”

“Anytime.”

With their friends out of sight, they faced the suddenly intimidating doors.

“Now or never.”

//-//-//-//-//

“I’m glad we got excuse slips for being tardy to class. I do not want more yelling. Though I guess Prof Chariot wouldn’t do that, huh.”

“What did you say? I think I’ve gone deaf.” Sucy complained, rubbing her pained ears. “Finneran yaps like a bitch.”

“OI! Don’t let her hear you say that!”

“Don’t worry, I’m not up for more ‘counseling and healthy reminders’.” Sucy mockingly mimicked the strict teacher. “Christ, that woman must be senile.”

“Shhh, we’re almost at the classroom.” Akko hushed her bestfriend, door coming into view. She could hear a Professor Chariots distinct voice posing a question to the class, and there was a quiet that Akko knew was due to no one knowing the answer, not very uncommon.

But then there was one. A voice very uncommon, but somehow familiar, attracting, pulling her in. With her curiosity getting the better of her, Akko slid the door open, planning to softly sneak into class, forgetting that the room’s backdoor had a tendency to-

SCRREEEEECCHHHH

...that.

“H-hi? S-sorry we’re late?” Akko tried, dozens of eyes now resting on them, most surprised. But one pair stood out the most. ‘She looks good in our uniform.’ Akko’s jaw hung slack, a fight or flight response hesitantly building up within her. Her legs tensed, ready to bolt or stay rooted depending on the next move the one she was staring at made. “...Rigel...”

“...Akko.”

Then a hand reached out, and she was gone. Like the wind.

//-//-//-//-//

It had been a difficult week. Amanda was definitely right when she said things had been turned upside-down. Akko felt like she was too. So Hannah and Barbara’s childhood, hottie, transfer student, best friend just so happened to be Diana. Diana, Akko met her in the hospital and became enraptured with, Diana.

This posed a problem, along with unbearable tension within their group. Akko would always want to run away, and Diana would always seek after her. After awhile, the blonde grew weary, and just distanced herself, her childhood bestfriends obviously sticking by her side. Amanda had girlfriends to attend to. And Constanze and Jas usually followed Amanda. So now, it was just Sucy, Lotte, and little ol’ Akko. Like old times.

“Akko, just why are you avoiding Miss Cavendish? How do you know her?” Lotte asked on their way home. “Please? Tell us? I can’t stand to not spend time with the other girls anymore just because you two are at unknown odds. You’re a kind person, Akko. And Miss Cavendish is as well, from how I’ve gotten to know her lately.”

“Lotte, you... you wouldn’t get it.” Akko sighed. She was tired of entertaining Diana-related questions. All the ‘why don’t you two get along’ interrogations wearing her down thin: with Andrew at home, and Hannah and Barbara indirectly hounding her in school at every chance they’d get, trying to fish out for an answer that Diana couldn’t give to them herself, apparently. Not that Akko blamed her. She must just be as confused as everyone else with regards to Akko’s averse reactions.

“M-maybe I could try?” Akko missed the shift in the Fin’s tone, irritation over the week threatening to make her lose self-control and lash out. But no, she couldn’t do that. Not too sweet Lotte. She still had her senses intact.

“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t.” She firmly stated through gritted teeth, not looking at Lotte as she replied, so unlike her.

“I-I-”

“Akko, Lotte just wants to understand you.” Sucy stepped in, feeling that change in the air that she didn’t quite fancy. “Why can’t you just tell us? I know I may not act like it a lot, but aren’t we your best friends?” Akko held back a hiss behind pearly whites. She didn’t want to be a bad person. She had to be considerate of people’s feelings. Like always. Everyone was just curious. They were all just confused... but then Sucy had to just say, “Don’t you trust us?”

And Akko couldn’t hear that.

“I trust you! I do!” She whipped her head about, pointing a finger to them one-by one. “But you guys, you wouldn’t get it because you have your soulmate by your side constantly, okay?!”

“Akko...” Lotte’s eyes widened.

“I... I’ve been waiting a lot, and I know you said I’m being impatient. It doesn’t have to be now.” Akko huffed. “But do you know how it feels to look at all of you, all happy with someone who can love you completely? Understand you completely? I don’t have that! Not yet! And sure, somewhere down the future road, I might.... and it’s stupid of me, but I’m a lot more jealous and selfish than I look, okay? Everyone has nice words, and has met the person those words described perfectly, at the designated time, normally, as the book says.”

“Akko, the book doesn’t completely control everything-”

“And here I am, always subconsciously looking around, because maybe my person is out there too, y’know? But how the heck do I know?” A hand reached for the chain on her neck, ripping it out of her shirt so hard, it broke, the ring flying onto the ground. “Stupid! Stupid chain! Stupid Ring! Stupid words! Akko marched the few steps to the item, bending and snatching it off the ground, hand going in too hard, too fast that she scraped her knuckles badly in the process, the area quickly leaking red. “Sh- damn it, stupid- gaahhh!”

“A-Akko.”

Lotte stepped back, retracting the hand that had been reaching out for the heated Japanese girl, stomping at the ground. This... wasn’t an Akko she knew. How many years of pent up frustration was going into this session?

“You guys,” Her eyes were scary, sharp and menacing. Sucy jumped in front of Lotte at the sight of Akko’s bloodied knuckles coming their way at eye-level. But then it stopped. “You haven’t seen it, right? My words.”

They couldn’t even react.

“Cabbage.” Akko spat. “Goddamn cabbage. How am I supposed to know what that fucking means. How are you guys supposed to understand when... I can’t either... these words... myself... why I’m so impatient... what I’m feeling... Why... I thought it could’ve been Diana, but...”

“...but what, Akko?” Lotte hated how scared she sounded, seeing Akko flinch, knowing her friend noticed her fear. She knew how afraid of hurting her friends Akko was. This was all just a shock. That’s all. “What’s... what’s with Diana, Akko? Diana and you?” She posed the earlier question for the last time. Was Akko hinting at what she thought it was?

“She wears it on her left.”

//-//-//-//-//

Orange juice didn’t taste as good when you drank it alone on the stairwell leading to the roof. It would have been better had she been able to stand under the cloudy mid-day sun, the refreshing breeze taking her mind off things. But then it just had to rain, hard, and that ruined all her plans of clearing her mind via the healing powers of nature. Maybe she shouldn’t have told Sucy and Lotte to stay away and give her space. Having no one to talk to really sucked. More so than the strange word on her stupid government-issued ring.

“Ahhh, should I just go and apologize to everyone?” She muttered, squeezing the juicebox she thought she’d emptied, but did not know had bits of liquid left. The purely concentrated citrus then spilled onto her exposed, skinned knuckles, making her hiss in pain. “Tsk, stupid. Grrr!”

“Ah-!”

“Ah?” The yelp caught her attention. She was alone in this place, right? “Hello?”

No response.

“Anyone there?” The only ones replying to her were the winds that howled behind the metal door that led to open roof. Those sounds were starting to sound like how she’d imagined ghosts would in the dead of night. “Helloooo~”

Still nothing.

“Maybe it was just my imagination?”

“STAY AWAY!”

Okay, that was NOT her imagination. That was a girl. Looking around for some kind of weapon, Akko readied herself to beat up whatever girl-harassing creep she’d find once she rounded the bend in the stairwell. Holding up a sturdy wooden broom, she tiptoed down, steps making no sound.

On three, she’d jump and smack the living shit out of whoever was there. One... two...

“Akko, please save me!”

And she slipped and fell in her surprise; her back was going to hurt like hell over the next few days. Alas! She must stay vigil! Save whoever this damsel in distress was- Diana... It was Diana. Diana Cavendish, as she’d learned the girl’s name, and a few other trivial details about her, over the course of their time not together. (Akko also denies any and all claims that state that she spent a lofty amount of time observing the taller girl. She didn’t know things like how she was Scottish, or how she loved horses and anything that looked like a unicorn, and that she was intelligent, and smelled like vanilla and mint.)

“I’ll save you?” She managed in her ruffled state. Before she could process anything more, the girl had clung to her, both now laying on the floor; one in an utter state of bewilderment, and the other... dealing with whatever it was she got going on before Akko had found her. “Umm... Diana?” She tried, forgetting her phobia of the girl over the past few days, and rubbing her back gently to gain her attention. She was shaking like the leaves outside in the storm. Just what had happened. “Diana? What’s wrong? What am I saving you from?”

There were no signs of any bad guys, as far as Akko could see. She was grateful for that. She wasn’t sure she could defend them in this position.

“Miss Cavendish? Heir to a billion-dollar hospital? What’s up?” She was trying to be nonchalant in an attempt to possibly calm the girl, and it worked somewhat, allowing her to see that beautiful face, tear-stained and all. “H-Hi.” How lame.

“Akko... the... there... it...”

“Hmm?” She lent an open ear, looking around, still not seeing any signs of danger. Then a well-manicured finger came up and pointed to one of the panels of the hallway’s windows. Akko squinted, not seeing anything. Had Diana seen some kind of floating ghost outside? Or was she seeing it inside, and Akko didn’t have the sixth sense for it? Did Diana have some kind of sixth sense? “What exactly...”

“B...”

“Buh..?”

“Bee.” She squeaked.

Akko gawked.

“Bee.”

“B-bee.”

“Bee?”

“Bee!”

“B-”

“Akko, please just get it away! I’m scared!”

“Y-yes, ma’am!” She scrambled to her feet, but not without gently seating Diana up, even if it was on the dirty corridor floor. Opening the window and grimacing as strong winds blew droplets of water into her face, Akko shooed the poor insect into nature’s claws of death. “Sorry, buddy. Princess doesn’t seem to like you.” Blowing it a kiss, she shut the window, wiping her face on the sleeve of her jacket.

Now... to face a larger problem... or not face it. Maybe Akko should get running again.

She should.

“Well, this was nice and all that, but I guess I should get- ouch!” Diana had caught her hand in alarm, accidentally pressing against her open, yet-to-heal wounds.

“M-my apologies!”

“It’s f-fine. It’s okay, please let... let go.” Akko didn’t like the way her heartrate spiked in Diana’s presence. It grew even more erratic, wildly jumping every which way in her chest as her hand was held more gently, blue eyes scrutinizing the reddened skin, the heiress didn’t seem to have any plans of releasing her. “Diana?”

“May I... May I treat you? That blue sparkle was redirected from her knuckles to her own dark reds. They were so hopeful and compelling that Akko, despite thinking that avoiding Diana would kill whatever held-back, buds of feelings she hoped to dash, just couldn’t help but consent, cursing the way her chest lightened, heart soaring.

She was absolutely doomed.

//-//-//-//-//

It was a quiet affair.

Torturous. No one said a word. To be fair, they’ve only had two somewhat proper conversations so far, so not knowing how to break the ice shouldn’t be that odd.

But it was, and Akko couldn’t take it. Diana had just finished cleaning Akko’s wounds under the sink in the infirmary, and was now dabbing them gently with antiseptic. She was so careful, touches feather-like soft. Akko barely felt anything, much less pain. So maybe she could start with talking about that. Maybe.

“You... You’re hands are real nice.”

“H-huh?”And down fell the cottonball she’d been holding.

“I-I mean... you’re really good at this. Tender and all that. You’d... make a good doctor.” Akko commented off the top of her head, running out of things to say, as she always did when faced with one Diana Cavendish. “A pretty doctor. Patients would... probably feel healed just from your... face. Or something.” Smooth, Akko. Smooth. Could Diana, like... at least help her out a little by responding? “Please say something.” Akko begged in a whisper.

“O-oh, I... thank you, Akko. Thank you for the compliment. I...” Momentarily lifting her eyes and meeting Akko’s gaze, the blonde averted hers, a thin touch of red spreading up to her ears, not unnoticed by the injured Japanese. “I appreciate your words.”

Akko hummed, not trusting her mouth to communicate properly anymore.

“I think you’re... face is a healing balm as well.”

Akko felt herself blush as well, head tilting up so she could face the ceiling. It was one of the most brainless compliments she’d ever heard in her life, and she knew she just said something along those lines as well. And yet it made her heart flutter like nothing else had before.

“Don’t mention it and... thanks.”

//-//-//-//-//

You never know when an event becomes a catalyst for reality to undergo great changes. Their little bandaging session had returned the next day. Akko was quite clumsy with these types of things. Each time she’d gotten hurt in an accident, she’d always ask Lotte to do it... but today... all their friends, and even the classmates they’d unintentionally dragged into their awkward little world, were staring in awe as Kagari Atsuko stood in front of Diana Cavendish’s desk, inviting her out to the infirmary.

“I-I’m just having her help me with my bandages! Don’t get the wrong idea!” Akko yelled as she guided Diana out, unknowingly holding her hand all the while. No one commented on it. Not even Barbara and Lotte who were exchanging curious little smiles. Something was changing. And it was a good change.

Reaching the infirmary, Akko headed straight for the sink, rinsing her knuckles under clean water while Diana gathered what she needed. Once done, they met by some chairs placed about the room and took a seat, the blonde girl looking over Akko’s hand.

“Come tomorrow, you might not need to bandage it anymore. Just apply some ointment. I think the nurse can recommend something.” Diana stated, looking up to smile at Akko who flushed at the attention.

“O-okay. I got it.”

“Great.” She then got to work, applying what needed to applied, and wrapping the clean white bandage after. Diana did this in her usual silence, focused. Sort of. There was one thing that had been nagging her for quite some time now, ever since she got to take a better look at Akko, now that they attended the same school. It was a  unnerving, however. It hadn’t been long at all since they... ‘got along’, and Diana didn’t want to present something that might cause them to drift apart again. But it was eating at her, the need to know about it. It would determine how she’d interact with Akko from now on. It would show her what kind of relationship she was allowed to pursue. She needed a confirmation. She braced herself. Trying shouldn’t hurt. She could change the subject after testing the waters.

“Akko.”

“Hmm?” Was the casual-sounding hum.

‘She’s calm. Calmer around me.’ That little detail made Diana happy. So happy. This was progress. “May I ask a question?”

There was a pause, and Diana considered backing out. It appeared as though Akko was thinking about it deeply. Before Diana could take it back, Akko responded, “Sure. Ask away.”, and the heiress breathed a relieved sigh. “What did you wanna know?”

“Well, um... I just happened to notice that... you don’t...” Diana was really hoping this wasn’t a sensitive subject. She’d finally managed to close the gap between her and Akko. Sure it was by unconventional, and very strange means- unintentional, above all. She had just been worried about the girl upon seeing that her friend group was all gathered in the classroom except her. So Diana had gone searching, and was planning to offer to stay away from her friends for Akko’s sake. She was glad that things turned out the way it did, though.

“Diana?”

“Um... Akko.” She finished her job, smiling at the neat covering on her.. friend’s... hand. (They were friends now, right? At the very least...)

“Yes?” Akko seemed to notice the hesitation, and her instincts guided her to take hold of Diana’s trembling hands, encouraging her to continue.

Well this was new, Diana thought. Now or never, she supposes. A deep breath, and the floodgates opened.

“I just wondered... why... don’t you have a ring? Did you somehow lose it? Is that possible? But how? Wouldn’t you get in trouble with... everyone, I guess? Have you found your soulmate or not? If yes then I should probably just say goodbye here and, oh but not in the way you think, you might not get what I mean, but I still want to be friends-”

“Diana.”

“Yes?”

Akko’s cheeks puffed up, trying to hold it in, but ultimately failing as she burst into giggles, instinctively tucking a stray strand of hair behind Diana’s ear as she leaned forward to bump their foreheads together.

Ah, screw fate and it’s ways. Screw Diana’s soulmate that existed somewhere out there. In this one moment, she just felt so at peace, and in place, she’d deal with all the raging storms in her mind later. For now, it was just the two of them, hanging out in an infirmary, the smell of antiseptic on them, stupid words be damned.

“You’re rambling.”

//-//-//-//-//

It had been a few weeks- maybe just shy of two months- of friendship (?) with Diana, and Akko had never felt more alive in all her years. They had even spent her birthday together! Well, everyone else was there to, but... Anyway. The afternoon the question had been dropped, she had ended up explaining to the Scot her story with the ring, leaving out the detail of what it had written on it. That was a little too embarrassing for her to share yet. Baby steps.

She’d never dare ask about Diana’s ring, and she appreciated that the girl never brought up any soulmate talk that involved herself. Akko felt that it helped her cope with this one-sided love a little longer. She would no longer deny this attraction. She was so undeniably into Diana, it was crazy. She didn’t understand how teenage hormones and falling in love worked, but somehow she just knew. She felt a little apologetic to her soulmate, no longer feeling the need to search for him and her, the section of, [What to do if you haven’t found your soulmate yet.] remaining untouched. But well... things happen sometimes.

And sometimes, you become so much of a fool that you invite the girl you are in love with, who already has a soulmate, to your house, to your room, just so she can be the first to see that portable planetarium projector you were finally able to get your hands on for an affordable deal. You wouldn’t even cry at losing months worth of saved allowance and work wages. It was all worth it, to see her entire being practically glowing in awestruck wonder as you lay on your backs on the cushioned floor, having the chance to flaunt years of star study to your crush. The impressed gazed directed at you felt so good. You could get used to this. Especially when the visage of wonder glimmering in the dear girl’s eyes was outright precious.

A Diana in awe was cute.

So much so that Akko was in awe.

“Hey Diana...”

“Hmm?”

“Do you believe in magic?”

What a strange thing to ask in that moment. That’s what Diana thought. Akko thought the same. Just what had gotten over her. Yet she still wondered, thoughts flying far off into space, just as they always did when she gazed upon the stars in the night sky- or her ceiling’s artificial one.

‘What are you saying, Akko?” Diana chuckled, right hand reaching out to grasp Akko’s, fingers lacing together. She felt her heart flip as it was squeezed tight, unaware of the inner turmoil Akko was enduring at the lack of presence of a ring on that hand. Their eyes remained trained to the glowing heavenly bodies above, stories of the past, of fate, and the like, written all over.

“Do you believe in other worlds, Diana?”

“Well, many studies propose that they indeed exist.” Diana responded.

“What about alternate universes? A completely different you out there, living a different life.”

Diana turned her head to face Akko, the brunette still facing upwards, eyes glistening with unshed tears, barely noticeable in the dim lighting; but Diana always noticed. Because it was Akko.

“Don’t you think that somewhere out there... there could be another version of us; maybe a clumsy me, and a fantastic you, saving the world with strange words not understood by the rest of the world?”

“Maybe...” Diana breathed out in a whisper, oxygen effectively stolen by the tear that slipped down shapely cheeks. The moment felt so fragile, she was afraid if she made a move, it would shatter into a million pieces, never to see the light of day.

And god forbid it happen. Diana wanted to boast this tender feeling out under the brightness of the sun, for the world to witness.

“Why do you ask?”

She listened in agony at the choked intake of air, followed by the frailest of whispers. “Because maybe... the impossible for the Kagari Atsuko here... is possible for the Akko there.”

The heiress pondered those phrases a moment. “...Impossible, like?” Diana replied in equally hushed tones, something hopeful in her pitch.

‘Like you being meant for me, and I for you.’

But Akko couldn’t just say that.

“As impossible as using magic here, maybe?” Akko laughed in a normal, in-house voice, volume not too loud, but no longer a whisper. She should just bury her illegal thoughts deep down.

“I guess so.” She deflated. What had she desired to hear anyway? “Magic does seem like an unattainable power, some unimaginable, impossible concept.” Maybe she should get ready to leave soon. There was something heavy weighing in the atmosphere and in her heart, and she did not wish for a memory as sweet as this to turn sour due to her mood.

“You think so?” Akko’s steadying voice kept her rooted in place. “What if it isn’t so impossible after all?”

“How so?”

“Well, don’t they say that when people put their minds to it, when they truly desire and wish for it with all their hearts... like how the song goes, y’know? ‘When you wish upon a star your dreams come true’, or something.”

“Like the law of attraction and manifestation?” Diana supplied. “If you think positive things, positive things will come to you. Your reality becomes better. Like that?”

“Hmmm...” Akko tapped against the back of Diana’s hand, still entwined with hers, with her index thoughtfully. “Yes, but no. Kinda, but not really...? I don’t know how to describe what I’m thinking at the moment based on existing principles. Not too good at remembering. Heck, is there a quote that already exists?”

“Why not make your own, then?” Diana proposed.

“Heh... good idea. Let me think.”

“Take your time.” Diana enjoyed the little sounds Akko made as she thought.

“Oh! I got it!”

“Hoh? And what would those words of wisdom be, Miss Kagari?”

“Ready the papers, Miss Cavendish. We’re about to make the headlines with this!” They both giggled at their antics. “Drum roll, please! Dugudugudugudugudugu....dan!”

Diana nuzzled into Akko’s shoulder, enjoying all these little sound effects, the brunette’s voice calming her gradually, lulling her to sleep.

“Just what are these magnificent words, dear Akko?” Diana was far too drowsy to notice the splash of color painted across her companions face, the shyness melting into tenderness as she felt her warmth shift closer.

“A believing heart is your magic.”

And sleep was nearly robbed of her, eyes widening in the dark, unseen by Akko as the thumb on Diana’s free hand now brushed over the engravings on her ring. It was for sure now.

“You really are... the one.”

//-//-//-//-//

Something was off about Diana today. Was it her hair? No, impeccably styled as always, that couldn’t be it. Was it her makeup for today? No, it wasn’t that either. It was still that natural looking glow that brought out her innate beauty in all the best ways possible.  Akko continued to check off boxes on her mental list, trying to figure out just what it was that was bothering her about Diana’s appearance today. Was it her clothes? But that was the uniform they wore daily! Did she... get any new jewelry? Hmm, she didn’t seem the type to wear any at school.

Then...

Was it the ring that painfully reminded Akko that the person she might be in love with was already meant for someone else? No, that couldn’t be it either. Last Akko checked, the ring was snugly fitted, definitely on... huh? The ring was... gone? No? Akko scanned Diana’s smooth looking left hand. No it wasn’t there. Not on the left, and her eyes couldn’t help but guide her hopeful soul to... ah. It really wasn’t on the left, but on the right.

Huh? That wasn’t right.

This confused Akko. Enough to make her approach Diana’s seat during lunch, tapping her attention away from her conversation with Lotte and Barbara.

“H-hey Diana, I have a question... “

“Yes?” Said girl gave Akko her full attention. There was something different about the way she smiled at Akko today as well, it seemed. Odd. Nice. But odd.

“So like... uh... W-Why is your... your ri-” Akko could feel droplets of sweat forming on her brow, threatening to trickled down the side of her face if she so much as twitched.

“Ri?”

“Why’s your ri- r....r-r- Right ear larger than your left?!”

Dainty hands shot up to cover her ears, blushing shocked and mortified. “WHAT?!”

Whoops, Akko messed up. “HAHA AHA.. KIDDING! Nah, I was messing with you!” The brunette forcibly laughed, patting Diana’s back in uneasy comfort.

“Akko, that wasn’t very nice.” Lotte scolded, and the said girl nodded, sighing.

“I know. Sorry guys.” She apologized properly, looking to Diana in particular. She received a gracious smile and a pat on the cheek, the skin underneath the ringed-hand warming speedily.

“It’s alright.”

That kindness allowed her to gather bits of courage to finally state her inquiry. Diana would answer her just fine, right? Akko had to when asked about the whereabouts of her ring. It was fair trade?

“I was just wondering, because I recalled you wearing your ring on your left hand until recently. But now it’s on your right. I guess you could say I was just curious?”

“Eh?”

“Is that so, Diana?” Hannah questioned, eyes wide. “But why would you move it in reverse? Now that you’ve actually found- mrrrpmmphhh.”

Akko shot a puzzled glance at Hannah and Barbara, the latter clasping a hand over the ginger’s mouth.

“N-nothing. You didn’t hear anything.” She covered. “You heard nothing, are we clear?” She threatened, and Akko actually shivered.

“Holy crap, your women can get so scary, Amanda.” She mentioned to the redhead seated in front of the other girls.

She heard her release a heavy sigh before getting up from her seat and turning to face the group. “It’s because you two are such a pain, that’s why. Just get it over with, Cavendish! What’s holding you back? It’s as simple as this, see? When you have a dense mofo like Akko, you just gotta give her a little push. A literal one.” And that was the only warning they got before Diana felt soft, slightly chapped lips barely missing her own, brushing against the corner of her mouth.

Akko removed herself so fast, they all worried she’d get whiplash. “S-s-s-s-s-sorry! Sorry Diana, I didn’t- it was... AMANDA!”

“I was helping.”

“You little...”

“Rather than giving me your attention, shouldn’t you talk it over with miss salad head over there?”

Akko blinked, the cogs in her mind slowly spinning, then clicked. “Did you just... insult... ah, screw you!” Akko yelled, blush burning so hot, it was hard to keep her eyes open.

Heeding Amanda’s advice nonetheless, she turned to an equally red Diana, unable to meet her eyes. Akko didn’t think her face could get any hotter than it felt right now, but at the sight of Diana’s tongue quickly swiping across her lips, Akko’s face might as well be venus.

She should at least try to say something, right? Something comforting... or witty... or clever.

“Sorry...” That would work.

“It’s alright.”

//-//-//-//-//

She stared at her invitation. Wow. Did Andrew really take her to shop for Denise’s birthday gift months before it happened? The neat script spelling out, ‘You are cordially invited’ underneath the older woman’s name with the date of the ball kind of set her nerves on fire.

She was not one for formal events. But then Denise had been nice enough to hand it in person, looking like she’d be willing to beg for Akko to come. Andrew stood behind her menacingly, a pressuring force looming in the room.

But really, how was she supposed to do this? Sure she had experience with the arts and dancing. She had wanted to be a performer at some point in her life before deciding on her current course, keeping the arts as a hobby. That covered her bases in terms of the ballroom dancing part. But as for etiquette and all that jazz, Akko had no clue. She was just a normal girl, living a normal life, having met amazing people, and... the love of her life.

She groaned in remembrance, pulling out a slip of paper, an extra entrance voucher. ‘Bring a plus one’, Denise had said. Well... that wouldn’t be a problem, Akko supposed. Maybe... She could always ask Diana.

The thought of the girl set flurries of butterflies wild in her stomach, face warming up along with her heart. She fiddled with the band situated around her left ring finger. She was still getting used to it, the metal feeling awkward in that spot. That’s just what she gets for never wearing it all these years. Kind of a nuisance, if she were being honest; but... at the same time... it was a reminder that...

[“So you’re... my soulmate...”

“Looks like it.”

“Did you... know about it?” She watched fluffy hair bounce along with the bobbing of a shy girl’s head. “How long...?”

“I had a feeling right from when we met... then confirmed it after you first showed me your planetarium.”

“...that’s a few weeks back.”

“You’re just so slow.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. It really is now.”]

“AAAAHHHH!!” Akko hollered, ridding herself of the embarrassed tension in her body. “Hnnnggghhh...” Holding in all her squeals, she flew onto her bed, hugging a pillow tight and rolling about. Maybe she should call Diana right now, if only to hear her voice. Oh, and she should just pop the question while she’s at it, the invitation.

A few rings, one, two, three fo-

[“Hello?”]

“Did you know I love your voice? It was the first thing I fell in love with, ever since you saved me from the clutches of death.” She couldn’t hold back the adoration she felt for the Englishwoman any longer.

[“Oh my god, Akko. Did you really just call me so you could be such a sap?”]  Her giggle was always the best, Akko reveled.

“No~, or kind of yes, but not entirely.”

[“Is that so?”] Diana teased through the line.

“Don’t believe me?”

[“Of course I do! After all... it’s my magic.”]

“Who’s the sap now.”

[“I learned only from the best.”]

“Amanda?”

[“YOU, you idiot!”] Akko laughed at the reaction, squealing inwardly in delight. Diana’s laughter alongside hers died down, the phone going silent for a bit. And then, [“You’re the best.”].

Akko just couldn’t handle it.

“I love you.”

[“I love you too, sweetheart.”]

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

[“I love you more.”]

“I love you! I love you! I love you!”

[“I love you more than anything in this world.”]

Akko was not crying.

“I love you... be my plus one?”

[“...”]

[“Always.”]

//-//-//-//-//

“My baby... so grown up now and looking all gorgeous.” Mrs. Kagari wiped a tear from her eye, admiring her daughter in a russet-toned gown, sleeveless, with a low dip in the back, fitting, and at the same time, flowing off her frame and onto the floor. It was simple, yet elegant. It matched well with Akko’s hair; usual bangs side-swept, signature ponytail gone, her long brown hair slightly curled and hanging off on one shoulder, exposing the other. All this topped with a little make-up, and even Andrew commended this picture of Akko that could pass as part of high society.

“Shall we?” He held out an arm for her to take, door open with a car waiting right outside. Akko’s father sobbed loudly, holding onto his wife for dear life.

“M-Mama! MY BABY! MY BABY IS BEING TAKEN AWAY BY SOME RICH YOUNG BRAT WHO JUST LOOKS GOOD, AND IS A LITTLE SMART, AND OWNS A HOSPITAL.”

“Well, don’t those sound like amazing specs.” Akko’s mama laughed, consoling the poor man. “You sound like a father sending his daughter off to meet her groom.”

“I AM.”

“But Diana-chan is so cute, though?”

“Man or woman, whoever takes my baby away from me and ends up hurting her... they will never see the light of the afterlife.”

Diana felt a chill run up her spine as she waited in the car.

“Oh, hush you. You’re overreacting.”

“AM I?!”

“Byebye, papa. I’ll be home soon. Love you~ Love you more, Mama!”

“Ah- bye, my darling daughter, my baby, my sun, light of my world, my angel!”

“You can stop embarrassing her now, darling.”

//-//-//-//-//

“Akko, don’t be so stiff.” Diana whispered into the girl’s ear, a hand caressing the small of her back to ease away the nerves. “You’ll be fine. Just think of it as any old party.”

“E-e-e-easy for you t-to say. You g-grew up with th-this.” Akko retorted, a hand with some champagne shakily approaching her lips.

“Really, you’re too high-strung.” The blonde sighed, pointing to Akko’s best friends. “Look at Lotte and Sucy, they look normal.”

Akko glared at her best friends who seemed to be enjoying themselves without a worry in the world. Oh, golly, what a treat. Maybe she shouldn’t have offered their extra tickets to them so she wouldn’t feel as bitter.

“Hey.” A flick was sent to her forehead. “No mean thoughts.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Di.A. NAAAA~” Here came a wild Denise, flying through the air to hug an alarmed Diana, barely catching her. It would appear as thought they were good friends, and Denise, not knowing anything about the relationship between her two dear bosom buddies, had sent them each an invitation with the hopes of bringing a plus one to introduce to her (so she could tease them about it), all the while, being kept in the dark that their plus one just so happened to be each other.

Which also explained the extra tickets that had gone to Lotte and Sucy. Akko was afraid it would be rude to just hand them away, but Diana reassured her it would be just fine. They both knew how kind-hearted and open-minded Denise was anyway.

“M-miss Walsh... please let me breathe.”

“Diana~ It’s Denise!”

“D-Denise... please... my airways...”

With greetings out of the way (Akko being squeezed to death as well, to be fair), the announcement were made, and the party commenced, music playing as the floor opened for the dances.

...

Akko swore she was a good dancer. Really! She was the ace of their studio. She could dance almost anything after learning it over the course of a few weeks at most, and so few days at the very least. So she couldn’t understand just how she’d suddenly acquired two left feet, constantly, and clumsily stepping on poor Diana’s feet.

One step. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

Another miss. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“S-sorry!”

“...”

“Oh my gosh, I really am sorry!”

“I-it’s quite alright...”

“...”

“Wanna get some fresh air?”

“Pleasured.”

//-//-//-//-//

The Walsh’s family gardens were certainly award winning, Akko admired. As someone with a hobby in that field, this was a dream come true, to see such stellar workmanship. With flowers o’er the earth, and stars up above, the moon reflecting ripples into a still, small lake just a few yards down, it was the picture of beauty.

Yet nothing could compare to Diana by her side. Akko admired the way the woman’s gown clung to her curves in all the right places, how midnight blue reminded her of the skies they were under, and the dear stars in the heiress eyes sparkled ever brighter. How the earrings that dangled sparkling silver matched Akko’s own, only in gold, how her hair was fixed to the side as well, a portion of her bangs tucked neatly behind her ear, held back by a pin Akko had gotten her recently.

Akko was transfixed, as though she were under a witch’s spell. A very gorgeous, kind-hearted, hardworking, and sincere witch. A woman she loved with every fiber of her being, with the entirety of her heart.

She watched the moonlight caress ivory skin, glistening under its kind rays. Akko wanted to do so as well. Touch it, and know she was real and not just a figment of her imagination.

“I love you.” She murmured, reaching forward, arms wrapped around a slim waist, lips pressing against a bare shoulder. “I love you.”

Diana hummed, hands resting over Akko’s latched on to her abdomen. “Dance with me, Love.” She beckoned, leading them to sway under the night sky, the crickets and the breeze playing them a song of romance solely for their rapture.

The moon as their only witness, they vowed silent words, moving along the area, spinning, swaying, dancing, laughing, smiling, crying.

Akko never felt as lucky as she did in this moment. She was beyond fortunate. This moment she’d never forget, a memory never to be destroyed all her life, reminding her that she was blessed.

Blessed, and still a little foolish.

“I still don’t get it, you know. Why ‘cabbage’?”

Diana laughed into the tranquil night. Slapping Akko’s bare arm in fondness. “Did you really just ask that? Now of all times? With a romantic mood set up like this?” She shook her head in disbelief. “You are amazing, Kagari Atsuko. I love you to death, really I do... but are you seriously still hung over that?” She inquired, spinning her fated partner about, bringing her back in close. “Does it have to make sense? Isn’t it enough to know that you’re meant to be mine, and I’m forever yours?”

Akko returned that tender smile, leaning up to place a kiss against Diana’s throat. “Well, yeah, I guess; but... like... doesn’t that defeat the rings’ purpose, then?”

“Does it matter?”

“...It doesn’t. Not anymore. Not when you’re by my side, because that’s all that matters.”

“Great answer.”

“Diana?”

“Hmmm? What is it now?” Diana asked, amused that the peaceful mood didn’t look like it would settle back down anytime soon.

“For ruining the moment.... sorry.” All Akko’s laughing refuted that statement. Diana knew they both didn’t regret it one bit. Not at all. So with a smile only meant for her world nestled in her arms, leaning down and closing the gap bit-by-bit, what else could Diana reply with except,

“...It’s alright.”

And they saw stars.

//-//-//-//-//

This... was an unexpected development.

“...Wanna come over?”

“I’d love to.”

Cold, soaked and dropped off by the Cavendish’s service car, they made their way up the drive way, Akko fumbling for her house keys in the wee hours of the morning.

“Sorry, I really didn’t expect it to rain when I invited you out.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t something within our control at all. The night looked perfectly clear, too.”

Flipping on the lights by the threshold, Akko guided Diana in, drenched shoes flying off, but immediately retrieved and set to the side to drip properly. They’d have to clean and dry those tomorrow better, but for now, a bath of warmth was in order.

Akko had insisted Diana take one first, but ever the gentlewoman, Diana did not move an inch until she was absolutely certain Akko would be alright. Her strongest argument stood to be, “Just who was it that I had to take to the hospital upon our first encounter.”, and Akko could only pout, begrudgingly accepting her defeat and warming herself a bath, but not without leaving Diana a towel and a temporary change of clothes so she wouldn’t get chills.

As Akko tagged Diana with a kiss to the lips, switching places after drawing the girl a fresh warm bath, she made her way to the kitchen, deciding to make them some vegetable soup to warm them up from the inside. Would Diana like that too?

Choosing and gathering her ingredients, she began prepping, chopping up everything as her water in the pot was brought to a boil.

It didn’t take her long at all to finish. By the time the food was ready, Diana was back downstairs, clad in one of Akko’s oversized shirts and pajama bottoms. It did strange things to Akko’s dear heart. On Diana’s part, just the sight of her future wife (she was a woman with a vision for tomorrow) preparing her a meal, fresh from a bath, in their own little world... How could she not fall deeper in love? So in love that she could just kiss her!

And she did just that.

Walking up to the shorter girl, Diana coaxed her into warm arms, a hand making its way into brunette strands, entangling them around her fingers, ring shining amidst them. This was bliss. This was everything to her.

This was everything to Akko. Everything she’d hoped for and wanted, and even more.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Soft. A little salty, maybe the soup’s seasoning. Warm and gentle, yet pressured and emotional. Tenderly passionate, and passionately tender, their lips danced a song that they’d forever remember.

And as they sat down to eat, seated in front of each other, they motioned for cheers with their chopsticks, a leafy green clipped between one pair.

And that’s when Akko realized that it all made perfect sense.

The rings weren’t wrong, and the words would always be right.

“Ah...

Cabbage.”

~end.

A/N: Can you believe it? All that, just so I could say in the end, “Cabbage”. Honestly, Akko is so slow. Somehow I’m not quite satisfied with this, and maybe I should’ve gone with a different approach or piece, or simply edited my original plan to fit safely within the guidelines, but... Idk. Maybe I’m as much of a fool as Akko, that way. Was it worth the thousands of bothersome words to read? Haha. Feedback is appreciated, as always. Hope you enjoyed.

~Shintori Khazumi

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Touchy ~ Embry Call

A/n: MY BABYYYYYYYYYYY!

Request: "Okay here we go! Can I please get a Embry x imprint reader where she’s super affectionate and is always holding a part of Embry or sitting on him. The pack teases her a lot and she gets kinda self-conscious so she stops hanging on Embry. And he thinks that she’s scared of him but she ends up telling him what’s wrong. And the end is supper fluffy and Embry kicks their asses ! Lmao sorry if this is too much! ❤️❤️" by @sweetkiitty

A/n: I'm so sorry this is late. I got... distracted... blame Cameron Monaghan.

MASTERLIST

"Hey guys!" The boys in their usual places around Emily's table all looked up, smiling at the familiar voice.

No smile stretched further than Embry Call's though. He went to move to the girl who'd spoken, but she came in. "Hey babe." She tucked into his side, her arms wrapping around his waste as his arm went over her shoulders.

"Hey." She looked around, greeting each of the other pack members with one nod at a time. When she finished her quick trail, her gaze returned to Embry. "I miss anything?"

"Other than Embry?" Quil jabbed softly. Jared snorted next to him.

Feeling my face growing warm, I rose an eyebrow. What was wrong with missing my boyfriend? He met my gaze evenly so I looked away, feeling suddenly self conscious. "Nothing much," Embry answered, reaching over to shove Quil playfully.

Recently the boys had been making lots of comments like that. Wolf whistling when we got too close or pulled away from the others or headed out for the night. Making kissy noises any time we kissed- even if it was just on the cheek or forehead. They were relentless and never missed a moment, which they never did because Embry often had you on his mind at all times... even when he was a wolf and the others could tune into every brain train he hopped on.

At first it had been fun. I flaunted my ability to kiss Embry, grabbing him and making out with him anytime they began their teasing. They'd get worse for a second and then retreat and it would end there. But then they got braver Quil would squirm between us or Paul would hoot and holler until we stopped, getting louder as time passed. Jared would laugh so hard that he sounded like a hyena and their prodding and poking was starting to get to me.

Were they annoyed with me? Did they want me to be less affectionate? Was I making them uncomfortable? Were they trying to hint that I was doing something wrong, but I wasn't picking up on it? It wouldn't be the first time I'd been oblivious to even the most obvious clues. Just ask Embry what it was like getting me to date him.

Embry didn't seem to mind basking in the attention of the others or flaunting our relationship. He seemed to have no plans on backing off or calming down and often moved to me or pulled me closer if I tried to put some space between us. He was enthusiastic with affection. He could also occasionally read the other boys' minds and he'd back off if it was really bothering them. He wasn't just a good boyfriend- he was a good friend too. Silly and adorable and fun and lighthearted, but respectful. His mom had made sure of it.

So what was up?

"Hey, you okay Sweetheart?" I blinked and refocused on Embry as his question pulled me from my thoughts and back into reality.

Putting on a smile, I looked around to see that the others were distracted, but a few kept stealing looks. Perhaps I'd made an odd face or they'd been trying to talk to me. Oops. Embry's voice was quiet, trying to check on me without drawing too much attention. Even though the others could still hear, I kept my voice quiet as well. "Yeah. Sorry, got some things from school on my mind. Just homework.Upcoming test. The usual." He nodded and relaxed, looking back to his friends.

I reintegrated back into the conversation and soon we were all laughing and having a great time. At one point my fingers found their way into Embry's short hair, switching between fiddling with the strands and lightly running my nails against his scalp. He adored both actions and was slowly relaxing more and more underneath me. I thought it was lowkey, but Paul looked over at us with a huge smirk.

"Careful- get any louder and you'll be moaning." He winked at Embry, who snickered. My hand immediately dropped from his hair. Embry's shoulders sagged in disappointment. Embry wasn't aroused- from my position on his lap I would have felt it. Surely Paul wouldn't have said something if there wasn't something to be said though. I hadn't meant to mess with him in front of his friends. He wouldn't have said anything either, with them so in ear shit. Damnit.

"Do you guys ever part?" Jared teased a little later. We'd moved for Paul who had to go take care of some business and everyone had temporarily parted from their partner at some point to allow him to get through since he was chair locked in the corner, except for me and Embry who'd sort of just pressed closer together to make more room behind us. I hadn't really actively noticed it until Jared said something.

"Nah," Quil drawled, his smirk growing. "If she moves then we'll all see his massive boner."

"Shut up!" Embry laughed,rolling his eyes,

Emily stood, smiling. "Let me through now. It's getting late, I need to get dinner ready."

Seeing my chance, I jumped off of Embry's lap and began to trip over myself to follow her. "Let me help!"

Everyone got an odd look, especially Emily. She was very particular about cooking and we'd all resigned to just letting her do it herself since she usually ended up doing so anyway. "I'm fine," she assured softly.

"I'll do whatever you say, promise." I shot her a desperate look I prayed no one else saw. She didn't know why, but she saw my need immediately and nodded. I followd after her into the kitchen. I felt Embry's eyes on my all the way.

Maybe I was being annoying, in some way or another. I hadn't been in any other relationship. My family was small and it had been a relief when my parents got divorced. I had no idea how people who were happy together acted and it showed far too often. I could give Embry space for a little. Get the guys off his back. Off of mine as well.

Emily asked what was wrong but I brushed it away and she let it drop. For now. This wasn't a big deal. I couldn't overthink it. So I didn't.

I quickly failed and overthought the hell out of it.

What kinds of intimacy should I limit around other people? Were short kisses still okay? Loving staring contests? How much should I pull myself from touching him? Should I hang out with him less? Let him just hang out with other people less? For how long? Should I just take a break, or should I learn how to bother him with my presence less? Perhaps I was too needy and needed to calm down in general.

Why was this so hard?

Short story even shorter, it didn't take Embry a long time to notice my odd activity. After spending every second of every day I was allowed to, attached to him in some way or another, my forced distance and the awkward way I. Was handling him was obvious and painful. After a whole day of me just not touching him because I was hyper overthinking, he finally reached out for me. I tried to find a middle but I was an extreme person. Being allover him was easy. So was not touching him at all. I could set a clear line and rules and not cross them. Where did you step when it was all grey though and you had to make precise movements? Lines that shaped boxes were solid and dark for a reason. It was impossible to navigate without the star difference and clear paths.

Finally, Embry snapped. He found me during lunch one day and pulled me aside, his face clouded with far too many emotions. Fear; guilt; worry; confusion. Maybe more I couldn't quite place. None of them made sense. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better." A white lie. The teasing had died down and I definitely felt better about myself, but I was also massively anxious and craving Embry's touch and it was driving me just a little mad.

He rose an eyebrow. "Are... we okay?" The fear and worry rose a little and suddenly all the buried confusion that left his face rose to my own.

"So far as I know."

He pursed his lips.We seemed to be at an impasse, unsure how to approach a problem neither of us were sure the exact shape of. See? Back at this gray in between kind of there kind of not line again. Things needed to be straight forward! This was ridiculous!

"You've been distant lately," he started slowly, allowing me time to process and jump in whenever.

I shrugged. I felt extremely self conscious. What was I just saying about being straight forward? Geez I was a mess. "Um... I figured maybe you and the guys wanted me to back off a little?"

Embry's face was wiped of all expression, a new one taking place of all of them: surprise. "Why would you ever think that?"

Now I felt silly. "Uh, I don't know." I looked away, shuffling. "The guys' relentless teasing, I guess. They seem to be really annoyed by my neediness and I was thinking maybe they were acting like that because they were uncomfortable. I know I've been stealing you from Quil a lot recently, and distracting you during hang outs. I thought maybe you were secretly feeling smothered and were too nice to say anything." He looked absolutely bewildered and I scrambled to make sense of it. "I just- it seemed that they were hinting at something very strongly, because that's usually the level someone reaches when I'm missing something big. Constantly doing the same thing, repeating certain words or phrases, long eye contact and pointed looks..." My voice faded out.

Embry began grinning brightly, his hands reaching up to cup my face. "You dork. They're all very affectionate, and they can't rough house and play around like they could with me, so they made a different approach. You're kind of like one of the guys- really fun and energetic. Down to go out and do things. They still haver to be super careful though, so that... friendship, I guess, shows up in what they can do: they tease. A lot." He blushed. "They thought it would be fine after you started to retaliate and laugh along with us."

My hands rose to cover my face as realization dawned on me. "I'm such an idiot."

Embry began laughing as he reached up to pull them away. "Don't hide that pretty face from me." He leaned down, pressing a little kiss to the tip of my nose. My anxieties melted away and I couldn't help but done a sweet smile. "At least you're my idiot."

I shoved him and he allowed it to have impact for my benefit. "You jerk!" We both began laughing before moving close again, him pulling me under his arm and into his side.

"You know, you keep being sassy and retaliating with that amazing confidence you have, and I'll beat them up for you, yeah? You can cheer me on."

Little giggles rolled from me. "I'd love that."

Embry kept his promise. The next time we were with the others we unabashedly cuddled and kissed and touched each other being as heavy with PDA as usual. Quil started up first, oohing and aweing. Paul started up with the whistling and even Jake joined in with the kissy noises. Jared ignited that usual laugh, making suggestive gestures in an effort to make me blush or become awkward.

Embry gave a huge sigh and moved to them, leaving me behind in the chair. He played it casual until he got close to Quil, who started it. He then hooked his friend under his arm in a head lock. The boys began rough housing; thankfully, we were already outside so Emily didn't have to worry about it.

People started making bets as the two laughing boys began to get rough. Jared and Paul cheered and Jake came over, throwing an arm around me. "Hey I just wanted to say... sorry." He gave me a small smile. "I know Embry's been worried about you for the last while and since this-" he motioned to Quil and Embry. "-is a thing, I assume it's their fault. They won't apologize, but they really don't mean any harm."

I grinned. "You know, I think I'm catching on. Boys are idiots."

We both laughed before he nodded and admitted, "Yeah. We really are. Especially when it comes to girls we have feelings for, or girls our friends have feelings for."

I grinned so wide it hurt, my face red and radiating heat. It was like having a whole gang worth of brothers. Maybe I'd been embarrassed before, but now I was so glad to have each and every one of them. It wasn't just me- we were all idiots. That's what made us so very, very fun.

What made us family.

"You think Embry or Quil will win?"

Jake shot me a devious grin. "Money's totally on Quil."

I smirked. "You're on." I ran ahead a little so Embry could hear when I screamed, "KICK HIS ASS BABE!"

The boys all erupted into laughter around me.

It was absolutely perfect.

-

Forever Tag List: @bitchyseawitch @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21 @captainxmikaelson @justanotherdaydreamersoul

[badmoon--rising]

Abomination

Oh my fucking god abomination.....

..... what is up with the minute of silence and no picture...

SNDJSNDJDK RUBBING ALCOHOL......

ALL the things??? How many different things are there????

Deaton you are so fucking funny people need to start respecting his closed sign

Stiles learned 1 (one) thing about cars to sound smart.

Is this. Goo? Is this delicious FUCKING goo?

God. Stiles’s agency being taken away motif continues 💔

Can I just say...... the song they wrote here sucks LMAO AND WHATS UP WITH THE CAMERAS THEY USED????

Stiles always gets the most gruesome imagery. Like, him watching his own car crush a person to death isn’t even like, the top of the list of gore this guy is put in front of

GERARD IS SO SCARY UGHHHH Allison ;__;

Oh my god...... him saying that Kate challenged him too at one point is so fucking interesting..... bc then she “did what she was told” and killed the Hales........ [grabs the Argents] I want to study you

UGHHH THE WAY HE SWITCHES FROM CALMLY LECTURING HER TO YELLING IN HER FACE. THE ARGENT FAMILY IS A CULT

The Stilinskis...... they hurt me so much

UGH really quick, the way Scott asks Stiles if he’s okay and he immediately lies, but when Stiles asks Scott if he’s okay and he lies Stiles says “no you’re not” right away bc he knows the game. That is all ❤️

God... he cant make eye contact with Scott.

Derek just THROWING Isaac is honestly kinda funny

I hate season 2 Derek so much. I want paranoid and awkward Derek back

Lydiaaaaaaa UGHHHH

Again I’m skipping the hallucination Peter subplot it’s disgusting

:) I know it’s not “really him” but Stiles telling Scott “I love you” is so :)))) and then Scott’s face UGH I’m emo

I THINK YOU MEAN BEAST*ALITY SJDJSKFKKD THAT JOKE REALLY IS FUNNY TBH

AAAAAAAGGGHHH “you’re my best friend, you’re a creature of the night, it’s kind of a priority of mine” SHUT UUUUUUPPPPP THE LOVE IN THIS HOUSE Stiles does Extensive reading for Scott I love them

HOW DID THEY SAY “we need that book” IN THE EXACG SAME TONE

Lydia you’re so disrespectful to Ms. Morell fuck you for that

God Danny I’m so sorry Jackson is insufferable

STOOOPPP ALLISON AND STILES ARE FRIENDS!!!! They’re really cute ugh

:/ I used to carry messages like this back and forth between my old horrible friends. It sucked lmao and they made fun of me. Anyways Stiles continues to give me representation

“My parents check every call, email, and text message I send. Trust me, they’d find it” is fucked up beyond comprehension. People really don’t understand why Allison broke down in the first place. Her family is literally trying to break her constantly

Stiles you are the most suspicious motherfucker ever how do you get away with anything

Matt I hate you

LYDIAAAAAAA DONT CRY I LOVE YOUUU

Ugh I love the song they play here, chit chat is such a Lydia song

How the fuck did Coach just grab someone off the fucking bleachers and put him in the game. Teen wolf make it make sense

“Derek won’t like this” “yeah, but I will” FUCK YEAH BOYD ILYYYYYY

STOOOPPP THE BASKETBALL SCENE “hholy god...” AND THE FACT THAT IT SUFFICIENTLY SCARES STILES LMAOOOO sorry yall whenever Derek is around him he gets his season 1 flavor back I need it

Ughhh Scott is so scared that the Argents are gonna kill Boyd :( he’s just a kid

DAMN SCOTT YOU HEAL SO FAST

“Is that enough??” Derek: [stares at him] “ggghh okay fine”

Derek: I hate Stiles so fucking much [two seconds later is desperately trying to save his life]

Stiles: I hate Derek so FUCKING MUCH [two seconds later puts him in Even More mortal danger before desperately trying to save his life]

STILES SON OF A-

SHDJDKDNKF SCOTT BEING LIKE .......hai :)

Terrifying Argent dinner........ TWO!!!!

God you can just Feel how much power Gerard holds over the family

SCOTT STOP YOURE SO FUNNY

The camera cuts to Victoria when Chris says “ritual suicide” hahahahahahah owie

CHRIS’S HAND ISNT PUTTING ANY PRESSURE ON SCOTT AT ALL

Damn... Scott Knows that Gerard could fuck up Chris...... he knows how awful this family is

STOP, THE DESERTS SNDJJDKF also how do they have a whole plate of cookies and an entire cake??? Is this a rich person thing??

I love how over the course of the season Scott learns and grows into his werewolf powers and we get to watch him become better and better :) it just feels so natural

OKAY I THINK THE COOKBOOK JOKE IS REALLY FUNNY TBH

TWO HOURS????? STILES’S SCRAWNY ASS CARRIED THIS GIANT WOLFMAN FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS????? Damn... so much for constantly wanting Derek dead

Okay honestly I don’t blame Scott for hanging up on Stiles. Gerard is terrifying

Yoink

“What’s not to like?” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!!!!

Stiles stop making me want a buzz cut it wont look good on me >:(

ROOOAAARR

Ugh... the way they look at Scott...... ;__;

An abomination.......

UGHHH STOOOPP GERARD IS LITERALLY SO TERRIFYING THIS SCENE HURTS ME SO BAD. SCOTTS JUST A KID HES JUST A KID STOP IT AAGHHHHHH

..........anyways this episode fucks

[jrueships]

No plot necessary 😳 would you care 😳 to share your redacted thoughts 😳

😳😳😳 anon u heard my post and u understood the assignment.. and 4 that I owe u the ball of lint in my shorts pocket

OKAY.. SO.. THEM...

I feel like their competitiveness just kinda carries everywhere with like. EVERYTHING. Even groceries. You know those types of people who HATE making two trips with carrying groceries into the house so they just stack like. 500 groceries onto each arm and drag em in from there? Luka and dennis are BOTH like that. And they COMPETE with each other with it. Like dennis will see luka carrying in 6 million groceries and still say "wowww, weaksauce." And luka will just remark about how dennis is mainly carrying the light stuff so his amount doesn't matter over how much luka is carrying or whatever.

So overall.. They're a very. Passionate and fierce couple. BUT!! They're also joking and soft!!! It's not like some fake hardcore p*rn where everything is always sexy and perfect. Sometimes they have to stop because dennis can't stop laughing at how awful Luka's 'sex face' looks or luka has to stop and ask dennis if he's okay even though they have a designated safe word HE STILL NEEDS TO MAKE SURE!!

But anyways YEAH They're very competitive in bed. A lot of 'is that it?'s can be heard no matter how long they've been going at it. A lot of 'c'mon's, just a bunch of strained taunts traded between them because neither knows how to shut up. Dennis would give Luka head in a public bathroom and he'd tease the fuck out of him. Draw it out and everything because dennis is an asshole who wants to be the one who makes Luka lose it. He wants Luka struggling to remain his 'polite and mature' self that the public loves him for because he can't stop thinking about Dennis ******* him weak. He wants Luka to Want him.

And Luka is like 'I can't let him just control me like this, the little shit. I have an interview to go to soon and he just wants me to stumble into it with my zipper still down.' So naturally he face****s Dennis until the gagging gets too loud and he has to slow down. Then he'd pull Dennis off him for some time to breathe and he'd be like 'are you okay? Was I too rough for you?' In a kinda taunting way, a little smug, but then his eyes will soften and he'll Actually ask if he was too rough. But to Luka's fire in his stomach, Dennis just grins and smoothly asks as if his throat wasn't being used for the last thirty seconds, "with that shrimp dick of yours? Never." And so the competition goes on.

While I think there's never really a true dominate figure in their relationship because both just constantly switch being the smug one.. Dennis is definitely the bossier one. He decides what position to be in and he decides what to do. He likes control and he'll take it whenever he can, and if luka wants it so bad then luka will have to fight him for it. In general, Dennis is just an absolute Asshole in bed. He'll scratch up Luka's back and try leaving red marks just Slightly above the jersey so others can still Kinda see it but not know what it is. But Dennis knows. After all his scratching and biting, he always makes sure to poke where he left a mark after sex. Mainly out in public because he likes making Luka jerk around and smirk at him. But yeah. Dennis likes feeling powerful in bed. He likes pushing Luka's head down and 'making' him kiss him when in reality Luka just leans himself down so their lips can touch. He likes grabbing and pulling and Luka Sometimes let's him, but sometimes he makes him work for it just to see Dennis glare up at him like he's not being dicked down under him.

Their aftercare is cute but only after dennis is too tired to protest getting cuddled. Usually he likes to try and be the big spoon though, with his arms and legs wrapped around Luka's side like a koala to a tree LMAO

I think Dennis's fav positions are the ones where he feels superior/ has the most control. Like he Loves to ride Luka because it gives him some sorta semblance of being taller? Of being the one who gets to control the speeds and such. And Luka let's him. Dennis tells him not to touch him and Luka doesn't. He simply waits until Dennis tires himself out on his **** and Then Luka grabs his hips and takes over for him. And Dennis is tough enough to take it and just ride it out with him.

I also think Luka LOVES cheesy nicknames during sex. I don't know if he's a BABE guy but he's definitely a 'sweetheart', 'honey', and his favorite nickname 'kitten' kind of guy. Dennis on the other hand is just a straight up Babe. (At most) guy, so he always rolls his eyes and complains about how cheesy Luka is whenever he tries slipping in a nickname. He especially detests the 'kitten' nickname mainly because of its origins .. (the hello kitty backpack). I have a wip fic in mind that like... explains more about it later and involves the hello kitty backpack but it's too long of an explanation and I'm stupid 😭 but basically rookie luka ends up calling Dennis 'kitty' in the story, much to Dennis's cringe. It plays on how much Dennis wants to retain the feeling of power since he's still the franchise guy, and Luka letting him (by letting Dennis ride him) And then Dennis gets traded and Luka ends up the sophomore star stud of his team so he visits Dennis by greeting him at his hotel door with a cheeky 'hello, kitty' and gives him back his hello kitty backpack as a funny 'haha I'm not your rookie anymore' moment, but when Dennis retorts it's hollow and bare.. Luka tries to figure out what's wrong but they have a 'don't touch me.' Moment except Dennis isn't riding him, he's trying to drive him away. There's a whole explanation about Why but like... thats not horny so 😭

YEAH. SO.. THEM.

[justsomefluff]

Hi hun! I love your work so much! I was wondering if you could do ATEEZ reacting to finding out you still sleep with your baby blanket? I still sleep with mine and I’m 19 and I’m throughly embarrassed about it 😅 thank you so much!!!

Okay thats endearing af so don't be embarrassed!!! Also this is kinda short bc I was getting really soft and I could've written forever but I couldn't let myself go there lmao

Hongjoong: 

(ok this gif doesn't really match but it’s so funny wtf)

The second he finds out you still have your blanket he’s like... I’d die for you

Like he loves that you have that innocent, meaningful part of your life still with you

Joong loves that it shows your soft side, that only he gets to see

It really shows him that you are a sentimental person and he’s like “I hope she keeps me forever like that blanket uwu”

Loves and I mean LOVES when he finds you sleeping with it

Whether he caught you in the middle of a nap, or maybe you went to bed earlier than he did

He sees that and it’s cuddle time

Doesn’t like to disturb your sleep though so he’ll just very gently wrap himself around you and brush your hair out of your face

Just a lot of soft touches until he falls asleep too

Seonghwa:

Mama Hwa activated

you’ve got a baby blanket, and youre already his baby? Perfect for his need to parent

Like he’ll still be boyfriend goals but he’s also gonna treat you like a toddler sometimes

Not in a bad way, I mean like he’s gonna tuck you in and sing you to sleep and all that stuff an actual mom would do

He just cant help himself, I mean really you need to go easy on him

He’s too soft around you

Like he might die if you get any cuter, cut it out!!!

And he always makes sure you have the blanket the way you like it before you sleep

Like if you just wanna hold it? Cool he’s got you. If you wanna wrap up in it...Also cool!

Will take care of all your blankie needs without question

Just wants to give you the world :’)

Yunho:

the second he finds out about your blanket he’s gonna wanna get a matching one

“Wtf why” 

“so I can have a piece of you when im on tour” and your hearts just goes POOF

and so he finds one super similar (not necessarily identical but its one that works)

becomes just as attached to his new blanket at you are to yours

takes it everywhere

but its so cute like you guys will be cuddled on the couch each with your respective blanket omg

and the guys find you all the time like passed out with your blankies and holding hands and stuff

they’ll take pictures of you two to tease you about it but you guys secretly save every single photo

it’s just perfect lock screen material really

Yeosang:

Teases you at first, I can’t even lie about that

but it’s not mean or anything it’s more like “you love that blanket more than me” kind of thing

but eventually he just sees it as a part of you

and if you’re ever not holding it, it’s so jarring to him

like “where's the blanket this is so weird you look naked we gotta go get it”

it always puts a smile on his face though

like if you ever have to go somewhere that you cant or don't want to bring it to, then he’ll stay home and secretly bury his face in it

it becomes a comfort thing for him too bc it smells so much like you

if you ever catch him smelling it he’ll be like “I WAS JUST SEEING IF MAYBE WE NEED TO WASH IT”

he’s embarrassed but you’re endeared to no end

you’ve totally got at least one picture of him with it somewhere bc I mean... your two fav things on earth in one pic?

magical

San:

I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS ONE AH

Okay San relates heavy bs you’ve got your blankie and he’s got Shiber

Will send you pics of Shiber wrapped up in your blankie like bro :’(

And you guys will stuff both Shiber and your blanket in between you and hug at the same time

Because lets face it, nothings gonna get in the way of cuddles alright I don't make the rules

And one night he’ll be like “let’s trade for today”

but then five minutes in both of you are like “nope nope we gotta switch back I cant do this”

but you both think it’s really funny low-key and end up laughing at each other’s inability to sleep without your favorite thing

he’s so sweet to you about it though like if you’re ever sad, he knows exactly what to bring to make you feel better

uses the blanket constantly and whenever you’re at home he always has it for you

like you sit down in another room for two seconds and he’s like

“You left this in the bedroom” and throws it at you

and he’ll get Shiber too bc “they’re friends”

overall he’s just so cute about it and genuinely understands the need to have something like that around

Mingi:

(^ him practicing his keynote speech on why you should cuddle with him instead)

Okay Mingi’s a big baby about it 

like he gets it but he’s low-key (read: highkey) jealous of the blanket right

“Cuddle me insteadddd”

won't let you live like fr

never tries to take it from you or anything though

just wants you to prioritize cuddles with him is all

will literally take advantage of any moment that you don't have it right

like if you're on the couch watching a movie he’s basically in your lap

if that’s your emotional support blanket then you’re his emotional support human okay

“why do you need an emotional support blanket when I can be your emotional support Kpop boy?”

“Mingi, I don't think that’s how it works” (I mean can he really still be your emotional support Kpop boy if he's already your bf? how’s that work?)

he eventually figures out a way to get his cuddles though

he just compromises and sleeps under the blanket with you

“Why didn’t I think of this before it’s perfect?” 

“Maybe bc you're an idiot” 

cue play fighting that leads to smoochies under the blanket

Wooyoung:

Ok this one is problematic for you

because he likes to borrow it

“Wooyoung-ah, that’s MINE”

he has the “mom says it’s my turn” attitude lmao

like no. it’s not your turn if it’s not YOURS...I digress

he gets so annoying about it that you cave and buy him his own blanket

it’s not even close to the same kind as yours, but you got one in his fav color and everything so he’s really excited about it

covers your face in kisses to show his gratitude

but he immediately washes it with the special detergent you use so that it’ll still smell like yours

and he turns into Linus from Charlie Brown you know?

never washes his blanket and takes it literally everywhere

if you wash it for him he won't talk to you for like a whole day lmao

“But it had to be done. Wooyoungie, it was for the greater good”

“Shut up”

but he’s secretly really happy that the detergent smell is back bc it reminds him of you awwww

so basically he picked up your habit really fast and it just sticks

Jongho:

tell me why Jongho is protective of your blanket

jk, I know why

it’s bc he knows you’d be devastated if anything ever happened to it

he’s always chaperoning you like “Jagiya, don’t eat that rn you’ll get crumbs on your blanket”

or “be careful not to spill that on your blanket, bb”

like “Jongho...sweetheart...I GOT IT”

and if anything ever happened to it, like it gets stained or ripped or something

he’s already googling how to fix it

acts like a surgeon “ok, we need to be very gentle with this stain” “cut the thread very precisely”

so dramatic, but it’s cute because you know he’s only like that to make sure you’re happy and have everything you need

like three months after he finds out that you have the blanket he’s basically a certified tailor and stain-remover

perfect house-wife when it comes to your blankie lmao

[excitedlysuffering]

hey can you do the headcanons collection thing for shikamaru pls ?

I love this boy honestly like I’m obsessed lmao

I’m also surprised but happy the HC collection is becomin a thing XD

Shikamaru Headcanons Collection

What He Looks For In An S/O~

• Shikamaru is a laid back person, and he’d definitely want an S/O who is chill

• This boy is a GENIUS so he’d be bored with someone who couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation

• I’ve already said it, but someone who’s CHILL, Shika can’t handle a wild S/O

• He would prefer someone more on the homebody side, he doesn’t want to be dragged on adventures all the time ever

• He probably wouldn’t care if they were a civilian, he’d always wanted a plain life anyways

• Shikamaru wouldn’t want your relationship to be scheduled and busy, he’d prefer someone who didn’t mind simple things or spontaneous things

• A patient S/O is mandatory cause do you know how many hours he spends doing nothing and being quiet? He’ll need a saint

• He needs someone who has a passion for things they love, the way he is with his friends/teammates and shogi

• An accepting S/O, someone who doesn’t try to change him, whether it’s his laziness or his smoking

• Shikamaru can be pessimistic and snarky sometimes, so he’d do well with someone who has a thick skin

• They need to get along with Choji. Calling him fat is NO NO bros before hoes

Relationship With Shikamaru Stuff~

• Alright, alright we all know the basic stuff. He’s going to nap, watch clouds, and play shogi with you, that’s old news.

• Shika is not clingy and doesn’t crave constant physical affection in the way that he won’t for the most part look at you like ‘I just wanna hold her’

• He’s (obviously) very perceptive, however, and if he knows you want to cuddle or something he will usually indulge you (with some complaints of course)

• If you don’t mind smoking once in a while, great! If not, he’s very considerate and won’t do it when you’re around

• Shika is not really the ‘let’s go out on a date’ type, he’s more lowkey and prefers to just spend time with you in private

• Surprisingly, he’s a big fan of pillow talks, so, please indulge him

• He enjoys journaling, it’s a way for him to process everything he took in during the day it’s hard being a super genius and he would love if you did that together

• Sometimes, when he’s in a good mood he’ll do little things that he thinks are childish, but how could he say no when you’re so cute?? He ends up loving pillow forts

• Massages will be a big thing between you, he’s often stressed and that really helps him, but he always feels obligated to return the favor

• He’s really like an adorable pessimistic teddybear

• Sometimes he finds the need to rant about whatever and if you’re willing to listen, you’ll have his heart. On the flip side, he’s a great listener, even if he doesn’t have much to say, you know he cares

• Oh, he’ll remember your anniversaries/birthdays, etc, but don’t expect him to make a big deal. At most, he’ll get you a small gift and pay extra attention to you

• Definitely the kinda guy to avoid you on your period, not because he thinks it’s gross or anything, he just doesn’t have the energy to deal with mood swings. He will, however, grab supplies so he can help without being within your range of emotions

• Not that competitive, and if it’s anything other than Shogi he might just let you win cause he doesn’t care that much

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• I’m 100% sure trying to make him do things is a given, but I’ll say it louder for the people on the back :)

• If you are constantly pestering him and interrupting his peace, he will quickly get fed up

• Please do NOT play hard to get or make him jealous. He’ll immediately know what you’re doing, but things like that just make him frustrated

• He hates mixed signals and dropped hints, so if you have something to say, just say it

• If you try to change him and constantly nag at him to be more productive, he will quickly lose interest

• Talking just for the sake of talking, and not having anything real to say will grate on his already thin patience

• As crazy as this may sound, there is a limit to how much lazy Shika can take. Even if he complains, he always completes his duties to the best of his abilities. If his partner can’t even do that much, he will lose respect for them

• The opinion of people he’s close to is a big deal. If his teammates, Asuma, or his family genuinely think something’s off about you, he will proceed with caution and probably be more scrutinizing of you

• He really has a short temper so be mindful of that, try to refrain from bothersome pranks and annoying him just because

Soft Shika Things~

• Even though he isn’t the softest person you’ll ever meet, he has his moments

• This side of him usually comes during naps/cloud watching

• He doesn’t mind cuddling up with you at these moments and he might even ask for it

• Shikamaru is a believer in the little things, so if he sees you’re insecure he might drop little compliments here and there.

• He’d die if you ever told anyone, but sometimes if he has nothing better to do, he’ll paint your nails, especially if they’re beginning to crack. He loves to experiment and see how different colors go with your skin tone

• The first time he saw you wearing something of his, he had no idea what to think like didn’t you have clothes?? He quickly got past that and actually enjoyed seeing you in his clothes. Not in a sexual way, but like ‘wow she’s really my girl??’

• He actually wouldn’t mind getting a matching couple thing if you were into it. Nothing like a shirt or an outfit, but probably something like a matching stud earring or lighters

• If you ask and no one’s around he might take his hair down around you, but he isn’t really fond of it being touched but what’s the point of having great hair if it can’t be played with??

• Has the worst spring allergies and is SUCH a BABY please take care of him, he needs it

Random Shikamaru Facts~

• Shika has an almost perfect photographic memory, and it can be overwhelming to remember everything so he started doing nothing to reduce the stimulus to his mind, but actually started to reallyyy enjoy being lazy

• He’s actually an insomniac because he feels like his mind never stops and he loses a lot of sleep

• His love language is acts of service all the way

• Shikamaru definitely ends up with a tattoo at some point in his life, it’s something small but significant

• This boy is loyal to a fault, whether you’re his S/O or his friend, he has your back forever

• If he’s close to you he has so much trust in you like he won’t really think about you hurting him, so if you were too he’d be deeply hurt

• He hates the rain or any kind of weather that keeps him inside

• He has spring allergies, but he refuses to acknowledge them so he’ll pop an allergy pill and that’s that

• He sucks at taking care of himself when he’s super busy please help him

• He’s not at all religious, he doesn’t believe in fate, destiny, or karma. He’s really the classic man of science stereotype

• He has traditional views on male/female relationships, but if he meets the right woman who challenges him, that could easily be rearranged ahem Temari

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your lips; he’s a simple man really, he’d much rather kiss your lips than anywhere else

• Way to hug- Not a huge hugger, but he likes one-armed hugs where he holds you close to his side for the most part

• Things to do with you- He loves to have deep conversations with you

• Cuddle Positions- He likes when you’re sitting up and he can lay his head on your chest or in the crook of your neck

• Type of date- Outdoors, usually just lazing around under the sun, or if you’ve been apart for a while, he’ll treat you to BBQ

This or That:

• He loves fall, the beautiful changing colors, and the calm atmosphere

• He’s an afternoon person (Idk if that’s a thing) he likes to be productive in the middle of the day, the morning and the night are his personal time

• He can’t cook anything past basic, he never thought he’d need to

• He likes to read strictly nonfiction but might be persuaded to try lighter reading per his S/O’s request

Conflict Happenings~

• Will avoid it at all costs, so if he has to avoid you, so be it

• Thinks it’s a waste of energy to argue when you could be discussing

• It’s pointless anyway. Unless you have a flawless, foolproof argument, he will find a hole and your argument will fall apart

• He hates beating around the bush and would expect his S/O to be more mature than that; so if you have a problem or if he upset you, he wants you to just say it

• He will make subtle efforts to appease you if you’re mad at him. He might be open to cuddling and might take you for a real date

• He doesn’t care to hold grudges so once you apologize and it’s sincere, whatever happened is out of sight out of mind

• On the flip side, he doesn’t appreciate people bringing up past mistakes as leverage if he’s apologized and already paid the penalty

• Yelling doesn’t phase him, he’ll wait until you’re rational and calm before discussing the problem with him

• He doesn’t have a short temper, but certain things make him go from 0-100 real quick

• Once something petty starts, he won’t physically leave, but he will probably mentally tap out

• Would 120% prefer for the two of you to be at peace so if it’s something small he is apt to concede just so things can go back to normal

Modern Shika~

• The quiet genius, because he doesn’t want to have tutor someone or have things expected of him

• Is that one guy you never really like at but once you do you’re like ‘was he always that cute??’

• He is not really invested in appearances, he’ll probably wear jeans and turtle necks or sweatshirts. Somehow he always looks good even though he hardly tries??

• Probably switches from smoking to vaping, assuming he ever used cigarettes in the first place

• He has a car, but most people would never know cause he’s always walking places

• Has popular friends, but doesn’t care to be the center of attention in the slightest

• The one person to probably be ahead in school work

• He always comes up with the most clever ways to cheat but he’s so smart he never needs them

• For studying, he’ll glance over the material no more than a week in advance and be done all hail photographic memory

• He’s down for a good party every once in a blue moon, if he knows the people there

• Would probably be offered money to write essays, but he’s too lazy to do it

• Perfectly okay with being a teacher’s pet (sometimes) if it means he gets special privileges

• CEO of sauntering in the door the second the bell rings

• Never really had the rebellious stage, he doesn’t care that much for showing out but he does like to be out of the house as much as possible

• I can see him with a mid-low maintenance pet like a cat or a gerbil

• He’s that one naturally aloof guy that has this aura that gets him all the girls??

• He doesn’t date around, but I could see him with a no strings attached friends with benefits

• Shika isn’t overly fond of decoration or extra things no matter where he’s living so his living space is mostly clean due to lack of things to make a mess with

• He probably would only have a roommate if finance was an issue and even then he’d probably be a little salty over it

• He’s an extroverted introvert (stay with me) he doesn’t mind socializing, but he needs time to himself to prepare and wind down

• He would definitely have minimal social media, probably only a phone number and maybe Instagram, though he’d rarely post

• At the end of the day, I belong to this sexy genius XD

Masterlist

[juuls]

Pharmacist/Me = 1 🏆 Doctor/Nursing Staff = 0

Thank you in advance for reading this rant. I’ve been really frustrated and just needed to get this off my chest, and today at least I had a wonderful knight in a white lab coat. 🩺❤️‍🩹🥽🥼💪🏻

Content warnings and squicky squicks: (further down there is) an image of a medical vial with a clipped image of a more benign part of a syringe, health conditions (endometriosis, fibromyalgia), menstrual cycles and associated terms such as bleeding and other things, lack of empathy in my specific healthcare system, hysterectomies, pain, swearing and losing patience. Most important warning: self-administered syringes and injection discussions of legal medications (Depo-Provera) approved of by professionals and properly researched. P.S. this may sound rather Karen-like but I would never do this to someone’s face. Online ranting and acknowledging where I could do better is not the same as screaming in public for bossy requests or comps, etc. Ew.

Another ‘warning’… pharmacists being kick-ass allies and giving a damn about their patients.

I’m really annoyed because (and I know healthcare and scheduling is a clusterfuck right now, but…) for over a month now I’ve been trying to get an appointment in person to get this injectable medication that is, yes, birth control, but is also used for endometriosis in my case. And I have severe endometriosis (exacerbated severely by fibromyalgia, siiiiigh) to the point I bleed enough and lose so much I have to go to the hospital when my care is not properly preventative… like in this case, and the pain is unbelievably severe also to the point I’ve spent time in the hospital, including my 11th Christmas Eve and Day. I started this injectable medication at 13 because it was the only thing that came close to helping reduce my endometrial tissue. Even a hysterectomy wouldn’t help as much, unless they decided to go the super invasive route and remove all the organs (or parts of them) that had become ‘infected’ by the tissue. Again, tissue where it’s not supposed to be, and it causes extreme pain as the tissue tries to flush out of my body each period, even if it’s attached to, like, my pancreas. Just no. That does not work at all. No. That is not fun.

SO. I’m 31, nearing 32, and the doctor’s office knows this. I’ve had the same doctor since I was 10. Been on this medication nearly non-stop for just shy of two decades (with appropriate precautions such as bone density tests) because of the absolute severity of the pain and my inability to function when it hits… which can be months at a time of non-stop bleeding and morning sickness-level nausea and vomiting, migraines and the occasional complete inability to move—in other words, it’s debilitating.

My doctor (even the nurses, as it’s in large print at the top of my file in the system) knows all about this. They’re supposed to call me if I’m overdue by a certain margin (I get they’re busy but months and months???). But my doc’s also a bit of an airhead (albeit a smart one when he focuses) and takes forever to reply to anything on time, even when it’s a severe issue, but not severe enough to go to the hospital. But it’s gotten to the point where the nurses say to go to the ER and then the ER nurses and doctors there get SUPER pissed off (AT ME AND SOMEHOW NOT AT MY DOCTOR/NURSES AND THEIR ORDERS) at the ‘waste of time’, and it’s just a clusterfuck.

Oh yeah, and that ER visit while I was overdue for my injection? Internal intestinal bleeding along with a lovely, even if small, perforation in my fucking uterus from the growth of endometrial tissue. I MEAN COME ON — WHAT IN THE HELL. Totally preventable if they fit me in when I called literally over a month ago.

But I will not change my doctor (the other docs at the practice know what is going on and have offered to take me on, but they don’t have the experience with myself and my conditions or the history, but they can do little else because of professional conduct—it’s between myself and my doc) because he is the only one who treats me with humanity and understands fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pre-MS and pre-RhA/PsA, endo-related IBS, (ulcerative) colitis, and other neurological conditions with any degree of empathy. (See, I told you I’m a mess!) There is no way I’m switching offices in the perpetual shortage of doctors in Canada moving elsewhere for m o n e y (plus Covid-19 being a teen hooligan and constantly coming back to wreck more goddamn shit, including everyone’s sanity, then setting things on fire like the real hooligans in my village have been doing this summer — I mean… what in the hell!?!?), so with all that in mind I actually thank my lucky stars. So I put up with a lot of this shit because he treats me, besides him being an airhead, like an actual human being deserving of compassion and care and quality of life despite my severe disabilities and pain. So.

I’m usually treated really well (even if they often think I’m a nuisance for daring to be severely chronically ill/in pain all the time) so I try to be patient and good and understanding when I can.

But his STAFF (I know they’re busy and I’ve been patient but they’ve been so awful honestly to the point I cried hard enough my dad noticed my red eyes and frustration-tear fracks on my face)! And the doc himself’s inability to reply to notes on time even when urgent and when he knows the circumstances (I admit I am a bit of a hard patient so I can understand if he just kinda ignores me sometimes, honestly). But in this case I was THREE DAMN MONTHS LATE for my injection and they’ve always called in the past when I was coming due if it looked like I hadn’t scheduled an injection, so that I was all on time and squared away and didn’t risk severe pain and damage to my already-fucked hormonal system (learning I couldn’t have kids was absolutely heartbreaking, let me tell you, but even a hysterectomy in that case would solve nothing — this is by far the easiest option, especially considering how my fibromyalgia would fuck with my post-surgery recovery and leave me with lasting pain for years if not decades; sigh).

Anyway. So. After some ridiculous levels of back and forth and some truly remarkable levels of lack of compassion (she kept giving me the exact same, word for word response in a bored tone UGH) considering the severe pain I was in (I was told, in front of OTHER PATIENTS AND STAFF, that I could just wait until I talk to the doctor myself at my next phone appointment and then schedule my injection for my next MONTHLY followup — 4.5 months overdue at that point, it would’ve been — because, and I quote, ‘am used to dealing with pain because of my fibromyalgia and years of dealing with it and other conditions’ which they named in front of others!!!!!!!! what. the. fuck. But I kept my cool because I know all these people, my mom taught their kids music, they’re a fixture of the community, etc. and I refuse to be a Karen…. At least externally.

But here comes the nice part that makes me love our new (okay, he’s been here like 5 years but still, in a small town that’s pretty new lmao) pharmacist that much more. Rasik was aware of my frustration with the doctor and nurses and was even the one who brought to my attention that, at the time, I was 2 months late for my injection and he was a bit concerned since he’s privy to how much pain I exist in without throwing in one or more knives directly into my womb, ovaries, tummy, hips, and other areas my endometrial tissue has taken root. He’s such a sweetheart and he really does care for his patients— the work he does with my father’s diabetes (the tricky one where you’re not obese) management is above and beyond the call of a pharmacist and I will forever be grateful for that alone, never mind how he cares for me.

So I went in today to pick up another medication, after yet another frustrating stop-over at the nurses’ desks, and he suggested I ask for my injectable medication (it’s Depo-Provera, by the way) and the syringe plus the two tips necessary — I’m actually familiar with this since I had to learn epinephrine injections from an early age (not Epipen) and how to give testosterone daily to my ex-husband (sorry not sorry, dude, but congrats on your first kid *grouchy thumbs up*). But yeah! Legally he’s not allowed to suggest I give it to myself, but he was getting super fed up with the nurses and doctors dragging their feet and ‘being assholes with little empathy’ in his own words, so I took the hint and requested my vial plus syringe, as well as the drawing and injection gauge needles…. which he gleefully filled for me, and I reiterated that it was ‘fully my idea, not yours, Rasik, because everyone knows I’m dumb and would never think it’s you if something happened’ (I’m not dumb and I’ve given injections to others many times looool).

Long story short: HERE’S TO PHARMACISTS AROUND THE WORLD, BEING AMAZING AND CARING FOR THEIR PATIENTS AND ‘BENDING BUT NOT REALLY BENDING’ THE RULES TO MAKE SURE THEIR CLIENTS ARE CARED FOR PROPERLY. They are amazing and deserve every last bit of your courtesy, especially when they pull double duty every. single. day. because of Covid and their subsequent boosters. (i.e. boosters in the form of humans who are fucking stupid if they have no medical reason not to get the vaccine… I mean JFC.)

Rasik? You are amazing and I am 100% going to find you some Indian-Canadian (or North Indian; I believe that’s where he’s from originally) treats or desserts or make some myself after slyly asking his assistant what he leans toward liking.

Be kind to one another, yeah, but… my goodness: be kind to those who can truly make a difference in your health, sanity, and even life or death.

Pharmacists, volunteers, and frontline health workers: the true heroes of these times.

Thank you so much. So very much.

💜💙🇨🇦👨🏽‍⚕️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

P.S. … now I just gotta stab myself intramuscularly after making sure there’s no air bubbles and etc., and swap out to the proper gauge needle (different, smaller, to draw from the vial, larger to inject so that it goes in more quickly and, oddly enough, hurts less haha). I don’t think air bubbles are as much of an issue as when injecting intravenously (ummm I have a doctor uncle and grandma nurse and nurse friends, so shush 😆). But I’ve done this for others and animals so I should be good! :)

I’m a smart enough cookie even if I’ve lost a few nibble-size pieces around the edges. 😉😘 buahaha

Cheers to my pharmacist!!!! You are amazing and I can’t wait for the pain and months and months of bleeding to settle down.

Remind me again why humans are the only mammals (animals?) with monthly fluxes? UGH wtf ever. 🙃

[hollowisthyname]

🖊

!! TYSM!!!!! OC INFODUMP AHEAD >:) 

(under the cut bc it’s really, really long)

oki oki so! the character I’m gonna talk abt here is named Elis Byrd (their last name is kinda hilarious to me for reasons I shall soon explain) and they’re pretty much the parent friend of the group, even though they’re..... extremely tired and Done With The WorldTM all the time and will not hesitate to cut a bitch if provoked (though they actually do keep the others out of a fair amount of trouble so. kudos to them for that) 

their basic appearance is this: they’re tall (5′11 to be exact, and still only the second tallest out of everyone lmao), have p pale skin seeing as they hardly ever go outside, and their hair is multicolored- purple is the base color, and they have a lot of blue, pink, green, etc mixed in with it. their right eye is brown and the left is blue, and they have a bunch of freckles as well as permanent eye bags from lack of sleep. their expression is almost constantly a mix of ‘I’m-too-tired-for-this-shit’ and ‘what-the-fuck-did-you-do-this-time’ (and yes, they do swear this much) 

they wear a long black-and-purple jacket over a grey turtleneck, and various colors of jeans for pants. for shoes they tend to switch between house slippers, tall boots, and bare feet (’shoes are for the week’ is a sentiment shared among many of my characters) 

and then there’s one last important feature of theirs- their wings. 

yup. Byrd is part bird, or at least is very birdlike. (in all honestly I’m not sure where they got their wings....? my world’s lore is extremely convoluted, just go with it hgfdfgh)

I actually decided they had wings after I chose their name. y’see, a big problem with me creating characters and making them complicated is that I tend to forget extremely important information about them if I don’t keep it readily accessible- such as. their last name (a lot of them don’t even have last names?? as you can see I am not amazing at character building). so I unintentionally made their name a pun?? go me I guess, having the same idea twice just in completely different ways 😎

not exactly sure what the color scheme for their wings is yet, but they’ll probably either be black with purple undertones (bc black and purple is their color scheme apparently), or some kind of mixed brown colors? I can see them with either. the build of their wings is..... large. they have kinda a huge wingspan, and their wings are built for soaring. (I was planning to give them crow wings but I looked it up and crows have a different type of wing, might still give them crow feathers though!!) they take some of the others on flights sometimes when they do leave the house, and they all absolutely love it- getting flown by Elis is practically a sacred group activity asdfgfd

(I was gonna leave off here but I remembered a few other facts I wanted to share, in the name of keeping it short enough to actually read I’m just gonna make a bullet point list)

• everyone- and I mean *everyone* in the group, including their reformed antagonist Lavka who couldn’t give a flying fuck about “”emotions”” or at least so he says- calls them “Zaza”. parent friend should have a parent nickname, right? it’s basically the nonbinary version of Mama or Papa and was initially a joke, but now it’s just their nickname

• they know?? a bunch of languages??? and no one knows why????? as well as the common language for their world, they’re fluent in sign language, morse code, and. latin. (or the fantasy equivalent of latin, old dead language, generally creepy) and that’s just the ones the rest of the group know about

• continuation of the last one, one of my characters is completely nonverbal and talks w sign language. none of them knew Elis knew it so they had some of the others translate for them until they revealed that they knew it, which is a scene I haven’t quite figured out yet but trust me it will be extremely surprising to all of them and it will most definitely be funny

• on the other hand if they didn’t know it before they met everyone else and just learned it in like a week? absolutely beautiful

• wing cuddles!! this is not at all important but I just find the idea of them hugging the others with their wings so cute asgfds

• they’re waaay too good at card + dice games. they get accused of cheating every time they play (they’re not though, they just have great technique and a lucky streak) and they’re banned from family game nights bc they win every time

and this concludes my explanation of Elis Byrd, the parent friend. they may commit felonies on a daily basis but they do their best to keep everyone safe and I love them very much :] I shall leave you with this picrew I made of them!! (they didn’t have any wing options that matched theirs, but it’s pretty close otherwise)

[futurewriter2000]

You’re a mean one - pt. 1

A/N: Well this took an unexpected turn lmao. But I kinda like it, even though I don’t know how to continue it. Should I?

PAIRING: Sirius Black x reader

XX

It all happened so sudden. You just realized, like a flick of a switch it all became clearer. 

You were just too good. 

It sounded a bit ego-centric but you felt it. You’ve tried so hard for so long to please other people, to make them happy by being the best version of yourself but in the end, you were just naive. You were good and naive and that cost you. 

It cost you so much. It cost you your feelings- your feelings that were so used to being hurt and disappointed over and over again like they were a railroad. 

So this was it. This were you. This is you not trying anymore. 

The holidays were over and you came back to your room, placing your trunk on the bed and opening it. 

The other girls didn’t even notice you and that hurt you. But you unpacked and pretended that nothing can ever touch you anymore. 

Rule #1: Focus on yourself, not others.

 With that you smiled, put your walkman on and started cleaning your room. You organised your desk, put your books where you wanted them to be, pulled out your new calander 1978. No magic. Just plain traditional cleaning. 

You smiled as you finished, feeling accomplished already. 

This was your last year. Your last, final year of Hogwarts. You are going to make it count. 

You turned around with a smile, the music blasting in your ears when you saw four people looking up at you. You pulled down your headphones and turned off your walkman. 

“Well, finally.” said Marlene, rolling her eyes and expecting some sort of an answer from you but you just kept looking at the four of them sprawled on one bed. “Not a hi. Not a how are you.” she kept saying but you only simpered.

“Hi.” you said and looking at all four of them. 

James and Lily didn’t even bother to say it back, they were too busy giggling and whispering to each other. They both made you uncomfortable if you were honest with yourself. You didn’t mind them being together but they were just the annoying type of couple. The always touchy touchy, giggly giggly type of one. Sirius didn’t bother to say hi as well, only kept looking at Marlene, asking her something when she leaned back to him and started to ignore you completely. 

So with a shrug you turned on your walkman and put your headphones on. It  was with a swift of your arm that you reached out for your coat and made your way to the door when you noticed Sirius’ eyes curiously on yours. He said something to which you couldn’t hear, so just before you left through the door, you pulled down your headphones and asked. “What?”

“Are you listening to Fleetwood Mac?” he asked, watching you with surprise.

“Yes.” you smirked and just left through the door. 

---

Again. Headphones were on and you were in the Great Hall, having tea for breakfast and looking at your Arithmancy homework. 

The others were on the other side of the table and there was one specific pair of grey eyes on you. They observed as your one foot was on the bench, your right hand hugging it and flicking the pencil between your fingers. 

He closely observed your fingers. Three slow taps and two quick ones, then he observed your lips that slightly moved. He mirrored them, singing along to the same song you did. 

“What are you doing?” Marlene asked him as she saw him staring at you. “Is Sirius crushing on (y/n)?” she teased and he scoffed. 

“Yeah, sure Marls. Like I don’t have more important things to do then to crush on your pathetic roomate.” 

“She’s not pathetic.” Alice said, smiling at you. “She’s really nice and since New Years she’s exceeding in all her classes, which I cannot say for your sorry arse.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned back, taking a last glance at you and mumbling to himself. “The Steve Miller Band.” 

“What?” Marlene asked and Sirius shot his head up. 

“Nothing.” he smiled, then looked back at you. “Didn’t she used to always be here- like sitting with us, talk a lot.” 

“Yeah.” Marlene smiled. “She’s actually pretty funny once you get to know her. Quite a joker.” she looked at you as well. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her that she started avoiding us.” 

But the answer to that was easy. You just didn’t want to be with people who constantly ignored you, talked over you, made fun of you... You didn’t want to be around those people who kept making fun of who you were. 

That was why the next time you had class with them you sat next to Remus. He, unlike the others, was always nice to you as well. The two of you started talking  and laughing. It was until the the same four came into the room and started staring at the two of you. 

“What’s funny?” Sirius immediately asked. 

You and Remus both looked at eachother and stopped laughing. “Nothing.” you said. 

“That’s not nothing, sweetheart.” he leaned and kept looking at you. 

“Yeah. But I’m just Marlene’s pathetic roomate, so why would you care in the first place, sweetheart?” you kept your face expression flat and see him grow a bit red under his eyes. 

Turning away from him, you looked back at Remus and continued your conversation.

--- 

The next he saw you, he was in the library with Remus. He was sitting on the other edge of the table, staring at you from a far and trying to figure out but he couldn’t. He tried to figure out the tap of your fingers or the move of your lips but the words were just so disformed. 

“What is she listening to?” he narrowed his eyes meanwhile Remus slowly looked up from his book, looking at Sirius and then at who he was looking- you. 

“Thinking of a way to start a conversation to appologise?” he asked and looked back on the book.

“More like the first one than the second one.” he kept trying to figure out. 

“Maybe she’s listening to Parni Valjak.” Remus said, barely pronouncing it. 

“Parni what?” he looked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“She said she went to Bosnia and Herzegovina during the holidays, where her step-dad comes from and that there was their concert to which she went to. She said she loved it.” Remus said than looked up at Sirius then at you. 

Now they were both looking at you as you rocked your head forward and back, moving your lips more fiercly. Sirius felt himself smile.

“She’s actually cute.” he heard himself say outloud than quickly shot his head to Remus who was already grinning. “If you tell anybody, you won’t live another day.” 

“Tell what?” Remus grinned, forcing his head deeper in the book. 

---

It was not a great day. Not in the slightest that was why you were in no mood to talk to anybody. Not that you much did these days but these kind of days cost you the most. 

“(y/l/n)!” a shout came from a far but you just turned around the corner and didn’t want to wait. 

You quickly reached into your bag and pulled out your walkman, putting your headphones on but before you could turn on the Walkman, you crashed into someone. 

Your headphones fell from your head around your neck, an arm wrapped around your waist, holding you on your feet and all of a sudden he was there and you were there with him, close.

“Nice try.” he smirked. 

Moving away, you fixed the strap of your bag and just moved past him. 

“Oi!” he shouted after you. “You can’t just walk away!” 

“Fucking watch me.” you mumbled to yourself and turned around the corner, again, crashing into someone. That same one. “Can you fucking stop that!?” 

“If you tell me why you’re ignoring me?” he kept grinning. 

“Cuz I don’t want to fucking talk to you!” you snapped and tried to walk away but he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you back. You stopped and ripped your arm from his grip. “Fucking leave me alone you creep!” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?! I’m just trying to be nice!” 

“No!” you shouted back. “You had your chances of being nice to me but you blew every single one of them but since I am treating you with the same disrespect you treated me, everything is wrong. Well, this is you!” You opened your arms and slammed them against your body, turning away and storming up to your room. 

---

Since then he avoided you as well. He didn’t want to hear about you nor see you until he got himself into trouble and was waiting to walk in McGonagall’s office.

“But professor that’s unfair!” he heard a shout from the other side of the door, a far familliar shout. 

‘Who knew she could get into detention?’ - he thought, smirking. ‘Hope she gets Filch for detention.’ 

“I have told you multiple times before Miss (y/l/n). You cannot-”

“I have to!”

“Sit down, Miss (Y/l/n)!” 

“How can you not understand! You’re supposed to understand! They need me!” 

Sirius smirk turned into a curious frown and he listened carefully.

“Professor, please. I would only miss a few classes and I could ask my friends for notes. It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Your attendance is needed and you wouldn’t be focused on your work. You’d-” 

“It’s just until they-”

“I SAID NO!” Sirius felt himself jump at the sharp tone of professor McGonagall. “You’re only duty is school and that is what Dumbledore and I agree on!” 

“Not if I drop out.” you opened the door and stormed out, McGonagall shouting after you.

“Miss (y/l/n)!” she repeated over and over, sighing when you were out sight. 

Sirius was standing up and looking between you and McGonagall. “I’ll promise I’ll come back.” he told McGonagall and running after you. 

He stormed into your room and quickly throwing the trunk under your hands. “The hell you are dropping out!” he shouted and sat on the trunk. 

“This is none of your busniness, Black!” you said and started getting your clothes from your warderobe and onto the bed. “Now give me back my trunk!”

“You’re not thinking straight! You know you’re not!”

“I’m thinking perfectly clear! NOW GET OFF MY BLOODY TRUNK!” 

“No.” he crossed his arms over his body. 

You stood quiet for a while. “I’ll wrestle you.”

“I’d like to see you t-” 

You jumped on him, knocking him off your trunk and quickly trying to get off him but he pulled you back and you fell on him once again. 

“You’re a mean one.” he smiled as his hands kept trying ot take a hold of yours but they kept trying to push away. “Mr. Grinch.” he sang and to you, in that moment, was funny so as much as you tried to get out, you started laughing. 

When your arms lost strength, he took a hold of you firmly and kept you locked in his arms. “Finally, she laughs again.” he smiled.

“You’re such a prick.” you laughed, trying to get out but he was still holding you, tightly, strongly and smelling so goddamn good. As much as you enjoyed being in his arms, you tried to force yourself into thinking otherwise. “Now let me go.”

“Nope.” 

“Black.” you warned.

“What are you gonna do? Wrestle me? We both know how that ended.” he chuckled and you sighed.

“Please...Sirius.” 

He sighed as well. “You can’t just drop out, (y/n). Not when you are months away from graduation.”

“You don’t-”

“Understand? Times I heard this line-” he took a deep breath in. “Just a few more months. Than you can do whatever you want but we both know that would be the biggest mistake.”

“But my family needs me.”

“And how does dropping out of school help them?” he asked and you grew quiet. “Exactly.” he said and there was silence again.

He held you in his arms as tight as he did before. He stared at the ceiling meanwhile you were pressed against his chest and for that moment, everything was peaceful. You just wanted to melt into him but then again, you were just pathetic to him and that changed everything.

“Can you let me go now?” 

“Nope.” 

“Why not?”

“Cuz you’re still mad at me.” 

“I’m not.” you replied. He looked down into your eyes as you looked up at his and he smiled. 

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“It’s because of the whole pathetic roomate thing, right?” 

“Just let me go.” you tried to wiggle yourself out but he was just too strong.

“I never meant that.” 

“Sure.”

“I’m serious.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Can you not use the name thing on me? It becomes annoying really fast.”

“You become annoying really fast.”

“You’re the most stubborn person I have met.”

“Just let me go.”

“Make me.” he closed his eyes and smirked.

And then you got a sudden idea to which you were never much daunting to do. But you wanted to do it, like a crave or desire. 

Your hands went to his hips and slowly made their way under his shirt. His eyes opened themselves wide and before he could find the ability to speak, you spoke first. “Like this.” you looked up at him longingly, your cold fingertips touching his bare skin on his hips, feeling goosebumps underneath. He was looking down on you confused but not quite against it, so as you felt his arms weakening you moved closer where your nose touched his, your cold hands on his bare chest and gently scratching him. You leaned down so your lips were almost touching his, you could feel his heartbeat under your palms and as much as you wanted to, to every single bone that wanted for you to taste him, you pushed yourself away and stood up, grinning at him. 

He was still in a daze when he saw you walking to your night stand. It took him a while to gather his thoughts but in the end, he didn’t want any other thoughts than the one that was in his mind since your hands touched his skin. 

So as you took your wand from the nightstand, he was standing close behind you. He took a hold of your hand and turned you around in a flash, pushing you on his chest and kissing you passionately. His tongue slipped into your mouth and his teeth clashed hard against yours. You tasted perfect to him so when he pulled away, biting your lower lip in the proces, he slid his hand on your lower back and pushed you closer. “Feel this, sweetheart.” he glanced down and so did you. He was hard and that has made you grow more hot than you have ever felt. “This is what I’m going to do to you. I’m gonna make you ache for me.” he kissed you again, fiery, pushing you on the bed and leading those kisses further away from your lips...

[nokikissa]

Whooooooooo did it, beat the story of borderlands 3 now. It took me 42 hours but I think I got still like some of those fight wave of enemies arena things I could do but I’ll look into that later, I did all the crew challenges and side mission outside of those type of things.

Story and character wise it was a bit of a mixed bag, there were a lot of things I like and couple things I really didn’t like, but all in all I had fun, the gameplay was excellent, and most likely I will play it again, to co-op with buddies or to try out different vault hunters.

Putting more in-depth thoughts about some story and character things under the cut, extreme major spoiler warning as I’ll be talking about like big plot moments and such.

I quite like most of the new characters they introduced in this, I’ve only played Fl4k and loved them, but from everything I’ve seen I feel like I’ll love the other new vault hunters as well. The Calypso twins were delightful villains, very entertaining but also like I couldn’t wait to get to kill them lmao. And then there’s like Ava, I loved her and her relationship with Maya that was good stuff. And Wainwright I quite liked as well, and I was very happy that Hammerlock finally has a boyfriend and is in a good relationship. And also Lorelei and Clay were both good too, tho I probably like Lorelei more of those haha.

How it handled some old characters tho.... That’s a bit mixed. Like I liked a lot of them: Lilith, Eliie, Tannis, Maya, Zer0, Sir Hammerlock.... Even Rhys! They got Rhys down surprisingly well in my opinion! Obviously he was bit more comedic and doofy but like it was still reminiscent of how Rhys acted in like comedic moments of tales, I could recognize where they got his personality from and so on, it was fine!

...Which makes it even more baffling that they fucked up Vaughn so completely that with Vaughn it feels like the writer maybe got a super vague description of the character at best which had been passed down through multiple people twisting it around like a game of broken telephone. I just don’t understand where they pulled some character traits for him at all.... During the game I tried my best to ignore his existence, which worked well for a long while until the game made you go back to pandora and made him story relevant again, god every time he spoke my reaction was like “please shut up...”

But. I knew that was coming. The Commander Lilith DLC and promotional pics and so on made it clear ahead of time that I would not like Borderlands 3 Vaughn. I had had time to go through the stages of grief and resign to being all well I’m gonna be one of those salty tales fans and keep on drawing content of like tales Vaughn and ignore the rest of the canon for him.

So anyway I was really liking the story during like the Promethea Atlas Vs. Maliwan Arc actually, Rhys and Zer0 and their interactions were fun, Katagawa was an enjoyable villain as well, I just hope the fandom don’t make him annoying to me... So yeah that arc was good and fun.... and then the Promethea Vault happened. I am still a bit on the fence about how I feel about Maya getting killed off. On one hand, I did not see that coming and it did get an emotional “Nooo D:” reaction out of me, which well I’ve seen games with similar character getting killed off scenes that are supposed to be a big deal but my reaction is just like “ok”, like Borderlands 2 with Roland for example. But like yeah I didn’t want her to die, and it feels like kind of a waste cos let’s face it in 2 she didn’t have that much personality since the game didn’t do voice lines for the vault hunters reacting to the story etc. So now she was finally getting to be her own character I feel like aaaand then she dies. :/

And then we moved on to the Eden 6 arc and initially I was excited all Oh get to meet Hammerlock’s Boyfriend! But soon my excitement soured............

So Aurelia’s evil now huh.... And like cartoonishly evil...... Man I hate what they did with Aurelia in this game, it really smashed my good mood coming from the promethea arc to this.... Like in pre-sequel sure she kept claiming herself to be evil and a bitch and so on, but yet when Jack did like actually horrible shit she did not agree with those, she felt bad about Felicity’s fate and didn’t agree with Jack killing the scientist, she even objected when Jack was killing off all claptraps! But nah here’s she’s evil, murdering people left and right and also fucked Troy Calypso cos idk she evil now  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like god............ I really didn’t expect Aurelia of all the characters whose portrayal I’d be having this much issues but here we are... I guess I’m more pissed about it atm cos as I said with Vaughn I knew what was coming, but with Aurelia I kinda feel Bait and switched by the promotional material cos in all of those that I saw they showed like both the Hammerlocks and Wainwright standing next to each other so you know I was expecting her to be an ally, like maybe she and Alistair had started to tolerate each other and so on but NOPE! Go kill this character you like! Thanks a lot gearbox...

That’s the major issues I had with characters I suppose, Tho it is a bit disappointed Maya and Zer0 were only vault hunters from 2 that showed up. Would’ve been fun to get more personality for more of them. I did find some echo logs involving Krieg at one point which were interesting, aaaand according to like the sort of background filler assets Axton does porn now lmao. Also hmm where were Athena and Janey? Fiona and Sasha? So many characters missing... I know they’ve said probably more characters show up in dlcs, but still. Story wise kinda funny tho, like did Lilith contact the vault hunters from 2 for help at all? Were all of them like “sry I’m busy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “??

Also one weird bit about the Eden 6 arc, it felt kiiinda out of place for borderlands that there were npcs being all “Oh man I sure love the Jakobs family they treat me well”, borderlands has sorta been all “the gun corporation suck” beforehand... I suppose the Promethea arc was bit too pro corporation in some way, but with that at least mostly the npc I saw were like “Rhys says he’s trying to do good with atlas... hm we shall see how that’ll pan out...” suspicion, but with the Jakob there were characters being all oh Jakobs is so great such good corporation :)

At the end side of the game you could get sooo much lore about like sirens which I loved, translating the eridian artifact things like clarified on like how sirens come to be and all which is great! According to that siren in her life can choose who specifically inherits her powers after she dies, or “release her powers into the unknown” which when described kinda gave me the impression that it’ll pass those onto some baby that’s born at some point, which yay clarification on the whole are sirens born as sirens or do they get their powers later: answer is both!

And it appears that Angel decided to pass her powers onto Tannis before she died? Which is interesting. And aw Maya chose Ava to inherit her powers.

That ending tho..... uhhh isn’t Elpis an inhabited place? How did that whole thing affect the people living on elpis lmao....?

And god that ending credits song, it is fitting but I just can’t take it seriously asfsfdggs...

i guess I’ll now move onto talking about the gameplay....

The gameplay was great. Same old Borderlands gameplay except with some improvements making it better, and that is exactly what I wanted from the game.

I especially love the way the guns are now and how much variety there is between the manufacturers, and even within them! Like previously I rarely liked to use shotguns in borderlands games, but in this one I fell in love specifically with the Maliwan Shockwave shotguns, and when one I had started to be too low leveled I desperately tried looking for new one everywhere lol.

And also Atlas gun’s smart bullet gimmick is so good especially now that I played on console, I know I joked about that before the game came out I’m sorry Rhys lol.

I really enjoyed the environments in the game, the planets looked cool and unique, and the maps were interesting. And god some of them are so huge! Which does cause some issue tho... They are weirdly stingy with ammo vending machines. In previous games they usually had ammo vending machines before like boss fight rooms, but in this one nope! Most of the time they only have those in like beginning of the map or like where fast travel points are? That’s annoying... And another issue is that the maps are big and sorta maze-like at times, so even though you have the mission marker in the mini map, I still needed to constantly open the map to see how to get to it, you can’t just go straight in the direction of the mission marker.

Gotta say, I was bit disappointed that we only visited Athenas to get Maya, I was hoping we’d return there cos the planet was very pretty but nope....

Fl4k’s gameplay was really fun, I got the skill that lets fl4ks pet heal you and man that skill is a lifesaver, there were some boss fights I survived purely because of Mr Chew keeping me alive by reviving me lol.

I did encounter few glitched that caused me to have to restart the game cos some mission objective got stuck somewhere and I couldn’t advance, that was a bit annoying. But it was only very few and like well into the game, compared to the hours I played it feels like a pretty good track record for playing a game right on it’s release haha.

So uh yeah. In summary again: Extremely fun gameplay, mixed bag story and characters. Had fun, will play again.

[getallemeralds]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird