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onlymingyus · 30 days

Text

Guilty

pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff

summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?

warnings; cheating, toxic relationship dynamics, car accident, injuries, hospital, arguing, eating/drinking, pet names, crying (from pleasure and sadness), unprotected sex, oral (m & f receiving/giving), fingering, marking/biting, impact, dom!jihoon, dirty talk, less than ideal sexual experiences, i mean...there is just a lot -- i probably missed something.

w/c; 23.6k

a/n; thank you so so much to my @onlyhuis for proofreading and being my rock while i wrote this bitch. this one was out of my comfort zone but i really wanted to try to dive into angst and something a bit more toxic with my plot. i hope you enjoy it.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you sigh at the notification on your lock screen, thinking about the number of times you had tried to call him the day before only to get his voicemail. You think about the number of text messages that you have sent as you unlock your screen, looking at the four messages waiting for you.

When Soonyoung told you about his job opportunity, you were excited for him. Dancing was his life and his biggest passion, with teaching coming in as a close second. The main drawback of the job offer was that he would be gone for a year and be in another country.

Promises had been made to one another in an attempt to make the distance easier. You both promised to visit when you could and to keep in touch every single day. Things were easier said than done, it would seem.

Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late.

Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me.

Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up

Soonyoung ❣️: Love you

You sigh, laying your phone down next to you after reading over the messages. Lately, they were all starting to look the same. There was always a “I got in late” message waiting for you and a “call me when you wake up" message waiting for you after a day of trying to keep in touch on your part. You knew he was working hard, but so were you.

Sliding out of bed, your phone in tow, you leave it on the counter as you turn on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam. It wasn’t like Soonyoung would know the exact moment you woke up anyway. He barely remembered the local time anymore, much less your schedule. He had made you wait. Now he could wait.

Soonyoung knew he should be asleep. He had to wake up early to get to the studio but he was staring at his phone and hoping you would call him. He had checked the time back home at least five times and it was a Tuesday, which meant you had to get ready for work soon.

Sighing loudly, Soonyoung scrolls back through the text messages that he had missed from you throughout the day. He hadn’t meant to ignore you; he never did. Time wasn’t his greatest ally lately and long days had turned into even longer nights.

Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe

Y/N 😘: Missing you

Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️

Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed

Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you

Kicking his legs out from under the covers, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the headboard. He groans under his breath as he gives in to his impatience, pressing down on your name and placing the phone up to his ear to listen to it ring. One ring, two rings, a third, and then your sweet voice tells him that you can’t come to the phone. Were you ignoring him?

The sound of your ringtone makes you furrow your brows, your eyes closed, as water runs down your face towards your lips. You were almost done with your shower but you were almost certain you weren’t hearing things, especially when your phone rings for a second time. Wiping the water from your face, you rush to get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you, just as the second call from Soonyoung goes unanswered.

He had begun to turn over, a scowl on his face, when his phone lit up with a picture of your face. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, Soonyoung presses his tongue against his cheek before finally answering.

“Hello?”

You could hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice and for a split second, you felt a pang of guilt. You forget about the number of calls that went unanswered the day before as you lean against the counter with a frown on your face.

“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.”

Shrugging, Soonyoung also seems to forget how bad he felt about missing your calls and not responding to your text until late. Instead, he just thinks about himself and what he is feeling at the moment: frustration.

“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”

Looking down as water drips onto the tile, you feel Soonyoung’s words eat at your heart until you remember waking up and seeing your own messages from the day before. You remember listening to his voicemail time and time again, as you hoped he would pick up the phone even for a moment to say something to you.

“I did check it.”

Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung is taken aback by your sudden shift in attitude towards him. He had expected an apology and maybe your sweet, comforting voice to lull him to sleep but clearly that wasn’t happening.

“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?”

“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…”

Your voice trails off as tears begin to well up in your eyes. There had been too many days recently that had started much like this one. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how proud of him you were that he was living his dream, but instead the two of you ended up in an argument.

Swallowing hard, Soonyoung closes his eyes as he sits up in his bed, running his fingers through his hair and listening to the sounds of your breath through the phone. He could tell you were crying. He had heard it enough times over the phone at this point to know exactly what it sounded like.

Now he was remembering seeing his phone light up throughout the day and checking it to see another missed call or text message from you. He remembered promising himself to call you back on the next break, only to get into a conversation with someone and lose track of time.

Shaking his head, Soonyoung hears a soft sob over the phone as he looks out of his window at the dark skyline of the city, knowing the sun was still rising where you were. He would give anything to be there with you now, to be able to hold you and to make this better but instead he was on the other side of the world and it felt like he might as well be on another planet.

“I’m sorry, baby. I–look, I don’t know what is wrong with me. It was a long day and when you didn’t answer my brain, just–” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stops to take a breath, deciding to stop giving you excuses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much.”

This was the part when you would normally fold and tell him how much you loved him and forgive him. You always forgave Soonyoung because he was working so hard and you knew it was important but you were starting to feel like you were less important. Wiping your cheek with your free hand, you shake your head and bite at your bottom lip as Soonyoung whines your name when you don’t speak to him right away.

“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.”

Closing his eyes, Soonyoung lets out a breath, feeling his heart sink at your words. You hadn’t accepted his apology and you hadn’t wanted to hear his excuses. You just wanted off the phone, and at this point, he couldn’t blame you.

“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.”

The sound of the call ending before you even say goodbye is what stuns Soonyoung the most. Dropping the phone into his lap, he stares at it for a moment, your picture looking at him from his lockscreen before the display goes dark.

Jihoon: Pizza?

You hadn’t been home long when the sound of a text message drew your attention to your phone. In truth, you had been avoiding your phone for most of the afternoon, knowing that Soonyoung was awake and at work. He had already been trying to make up for the day before by overcompensating and there was only so much that you could handle.

Seeing the text message from his best friend, however, was a welcomed change. You knew there was a reason behind it. When you hadn’t answered him, Soonyoung had probably called Jihoon and begged him to check in on you, like he had started to do more often, but you didn’t mind it.

Y/N: Only if you bring ice cream too.

Jihoon smirks a bit to himself after seeing your response. He knew you would agree to dinner and he had a good idea that you’d want ice cream after the conversation he had had with Soonyoung about an hour prior. He knew that you two had gotten into an argument. That had started to become a routine and now this was becoming his; dinner and a dessert for you.

You had always gotten along with your boyfriend’s best friend but since Soonyoung had taken the job and been gone for so long, Jihoon had become a rock in your life. You had become increasingly grateful to him, even if it was Soonyoung’s idea that he kept showing up with food and to be a shoulder to cry on.

Offering you a half smile, Jihoon lifts the bag with the ice cream with one hand as he holds the pizza box with the other when you open the door. Your smile causes him to take a breath and for his smile to become a full one when you take the bag from him, ushering him inside.

While Jihoon was happy to do this for you and Soonyoung, there was a part of him that found this more difficult every time. He was starting to love seeing that look on your face when you saw him—the way he could make your face light back up.

“Come in. Sorry…the place is a wreck and I already changed into my pajamas. I literally can’t find a fuck to give today.”

Moving into your place with you, Jihoon’s eyes move over your back and down your legs, just under your shorts, before he pulls them away out of respect with a sharp breath. Shaking his head, he looks around with a shrug before setting down the pizza on the coffee table as you move into the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer.

“Your place looks lived in, Y/N, and you look fine. Making me wish I was in my pajamas, or that I looked half as good in mine.”

Closing the door to your freezer, you pause at Jihoon’s compliment, feeling your cheeks starting to heat up. You didn’t mind it—the feeling of someone telling you that you looked good. It had been so long since Soonyoung had been home that you forgot what it was like to have someone compliment you like that, even if it was something so innocent.

Jihoon curses himself under his breath, sitting down on your couch, at his forwardness. He never wanted to really cross a line. He knew who you were and he knew who he was; just lately, it was getting harder to really remember it.

“Thanks, Jihoon, I’m sure you look very cute in your pajamas. Ya know, for the record.”

You smile at Jihoon and he has to look down at his hands as he chuckles, trying to play off your words as if they don’t have any effect on him. He knew you weren’t actually flirting with him; that was a ridiculous passing thought in his mind, but god, sometimes he wished you weren’t Soonyoung’s. The moment the thought even comes to him, Jihoon clenches his fists and then stretches out his fingers to distract himself from it.

“Mm, how was your day?” Swallowing hard, Jihoon glances up at you as he opens the top of the pizza box, gesturing towards it as you move around to sit next to him, closer than you had on other nights. “Eat. Don't let it get cold.”

Taking a slice of the pizza, you pout at it before taking a small bite, letting the warmth of food and good company wash over you. You had heard Jihoon’s question, but it was a loaded one. Sighing, you furrow your brows as Jihoon swallows his own bite of pizza, glancing over at you with a concerned look on his face.

“It was a bad one, Jihoon. I know that wasn’t really your question, but I’m not stupid. I know he called you and asked you to come over.”

You shake your head and put your pizza back into the box. Jihoon frowns and does the same, watching pensively as you wipe your fingers on the end of your nightshirt, unwilling to put effort into getting up to get a napkin.

“I–well yeah, he did, but I wanted to bring you some dinner. We could talk about it, you know if you want to.”

Jihoon watches as you furrow your brows and lean back on the couch, pulling your legs up under you. It hadn’t been his intention to upset you or bring up the argument; he had wanted to help distract you, but maybe you did need to get through this before you could move on with your night.

Glancing at your phone as it lights up again with another text message from Soonyoung, you shrug hearing Jihoon’s phone go off a moment later.

“It’s just really funny to me that he can ignore me all day and then act like I am supposed to be at his beck and call.” You swallow back your tears as you look down at your hands, pushing the ring on your index finger around so that the stone is facing your palm. “I love him, Jihoon, but right now I can’t stand him. I feel like I don’t know who he is anymore. I don’t know the person I talked to this morning.”

Jihoon fights the urge to look at his phone, feeling it go off again in his jacket pocket. Instead, he listens to you intently as he sees the tears rising in your eyes. His eyes fall to the ring on your finger and he remembers helping Soonyoung pick it out before he left for Tokyo and how he had suggested the cut of the stone.

Swallowing hard, Jihoon shifts on the couch to face you. He keeps his hands to himself, trying to be as respectful as possible, although all he wants to do is offer you more comfort when he sees the first tear trail down your cheek.

“Look, I could go the best friend route and give you the excuses but I’m not going to do it. I know he’s busy but I’m also not there.” Meeting your eyes, Jihoon tightens his hand on his knee, listening to you sniffle back your tears as he tilts his head. “I know he cares about you, he told me today. If I could make this better, Y/N, I would.”

Those weren’t the exact words that Jihoon had meant to use, but those were the words that had come out of his mouth. They weren’t a lie, because if there was a way that he could make it better for you, he would. If there was a way that Jihoon could make you happy, he would. Seeing you cry and upset was breaking his heart in ways that he couldn’t even explain or justify.

You can’t help but let out an unamused laugh under your breath at Jihoon's words. not for everything, because you knew he was trying to help, but you couldn't help but be cynical about the whole situation. Fingers wrapping around yours as tears drip from your cheeks is what breaks you and you finally meet Jihoon’s eyes once again.

“Nothing can make this better. I’m completely alone.”

Holding your hand tighter, Jihoon sighs, sliding even closer to you before lifting your hand to show yours in his as he shakes his head.

“You aren’t. I’m right here.”

Your eyes slowly move over his fingers, delicately holding yours, and more tears fall from your eyes as you try to work through how it makes you feel. It’s overwhelming to have someone right beside you, their skin against yours, their eyes on you. The feeling makes you want more and you feel selfish but it’s a moment of weakness.

Sliding on the couch, you move against Jihoon so that your cheek ends up against his chest. A surprised breath escapes from his lips before he finally moves to wrap his arms around you, holding you to him like you want him to. He can feel the tears starting to soak through his shirt but he can’t seem to find a reason to care as your fingers cling to his jacket and you sob quietly.

Jihoon had hugged you before, but this was more than a hug. This was almost intimate as the moments passed and you started to calm down, only to stay in his arms even as he shifted to lay down on the couch, letting you rest on top of him.

Lifting a shaky hand, Jihoon carefully ran it over your head, listening to you whine softly and he wondered if you had fallen asleep. He knew he had overstayed his welcome and he knew he should leave but that would mean he would have to tell you to move and that would mean he wouldn’t have you in his arms. He was selfish. What would Soonyoung do if he walked in the door right now?

Pushing the thought of his best friend from his mind, Jihoon closes his eyes when you shift against him and you mutter his name, wrapping your fingers around his shirt and holding him to you. Your lips smack cutely and a soft snore tells Jihoon that you have in fact fallen asleep. Any plan to wake you at that point leaves him with the sound of his name on your tired lips.

By the time you wake up Jihoon is gone and you have been placed in your bed. Furrowing your brows, you look around your dark room, confused, before glancing towards your nightstand to see where your phone is plugged up. He had done so much while you slept and not even woke you to say goodbye.

Picking up your phone, you wince at the brightness of the screen, only to frown at the number of missed calls and text messages from Soonyoung. You were starting to feel bad for ignoring him the entire day and it didn’t help that you were missing his voice. You start to click on his name to read over the messages when two from Jihoon make you pause and check them first.

Jihoon: I hope you don’t get upset that I put you in your bed. The couch is comfortable but your bed looked better

Jihoon: I’m sorry if I overstepped tonight. Just can’t let you cry like that

Furrowing your brows, you swallow hard, thinking back to how it felt to be held and how safe you felt— even for just a little while.

Y/N: You don’t have anything to apologize for. Thank you for dealing with my bullshit. Sleep well, Hoonie

You wait for a moment, hoping that Jihoon will write you back, but it was asking a lot for him to be awake at 1:26 am. Soonyoung, on the other hand, would be well into his work day. Scrolling over to the clock you have set for his timezone, you let out a slow exhale, reading 5:26 pm, before checking your messages from him.

Soonyoung ❣️: I love you so much

Soonyoung ❣️: Please don’t ignore me

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m going to work but I’ll keep my phone ringer on

Soonyoung ❣️: Could you please answer your phone

Soonyoung ❣️: Don’t you think this is a little childish?

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m sorry. Did Jihoon bring over some food?

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m assuming you fell asleep. Really fucking wish you would have talked to me today. Don’t really think I deserved the silent treatment. It hurts, Y/N…

His messages had ranged from hurt to angry and everything in between, and now you were feeling the same as tears gathered in your eyes once again. Two of his messages, in particular, sticking out and making your heart tighten to the point where your stomach felt queasy. ‘Don’t you think this is a little childish?’ and ‘It hurts, Y/N…’ He had no idea how much it hurt you.

Wiping your cheeks, you tap his name on your phone with more force than is necessary, putting it to your ear as you pull your knees towards your stomach. It only takes two rings before Soonyoung picks up, sounding out of breath.

“Hello?”

In truth, Soonyoung had started to give up hope that you were going to call him but he hadn’t lied when he told you that he kept his ringer on. Hearing it ring, he had immediately sent everyone on a five minute break and answered you, leaning over to rest his free hand on his thigh, trying to catch his breath.

“Hi.”

He had hoped for more than that but he’d take what he could get right now. Your voice brings a smile to his face as Soonyoung reaches for his water bottle, taking a sip. Sliding down the mirrored wall, he leans his head back against it and sighs into the phone, finally feeling a bit less stressed.

“I’m glad you called, babe. I can’t stay on the phone long, but I’d like to —”

“It’s whatever…”

Taking a deep breath at your interruption, Soonyoung closes his eyes because he can hear the tears in your voice.

“I mean, no, it’s not. If you’d let me finish? Fuck, Y/N… First, you ignored me all damn day and now I can’t —”

Biting his bottom lip, Soonyoung stops himself hearing you take a sharp breath. He had started to go off on you but he knew it was because he was wound up. Yes he was upset at you but now wasn’t the time to fight.

“Baby…I was going to say that even though I can’t talk long right now, I’d like to talk soon. I wanna really talk. Maybe we could facetime? I wanna see your pretty face.”

Soonyoung was giving you whiplash and it was almost too much to handle. You loved him so much but it was hard to go from one extreme to another with no way to touch him or to have his arms around you.

“I’m just really tired, Soonie. Can I just go to bed?”

You weren’t lying. You were exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. His words were like rocks being added to a growing pile in your arms, pushing you deeper and deeper into a pit that you weren’t sure how to climb out of.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the mirror at your request while you also leave his question up in the air. He wasn’t sure how late it was for you but he had to assume it was late and he could hear the exhaustion and emotion in your voice.

“Yeah…course, babe. I love you.”

Looking out into your moonlit room, you find yourself staring at the picture of you and Soonyoung on your dresser with little to no emotion as you speak before hanging up your phone.

“Love you too, bye.”

Soonyoung had heard you say that you loved him hundreds, possibly thousands, of times over the span of your relationship and he had never heard it sound like that. He had never heard it said in such a way that it almost broke his heart. Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, Soonyoung looks up when the pretty girl speaks to him again, a concerned look on her face.

“You ok, Soonyoung?”

Nodding, he puts on a smile and moves to his feet, causing her to take a step back to watch him as he puts his phone on silent.

“Course I am, Aimi. Once everyone is back, we can run it from the chorus again.”

Aimi grins at Soonyoung and his smile becomes genuine as he watches her take a step backwards on the wood floor.

“‘Kay…hey, you wanna get drinks later?”

When Soonyoung looks confused, Aimi laughs and lifts her hands, biting at her pretty lips that he can’t help but look at.

“With me and a few of the dance team, of course.”

Shrugging, Soonyoung glances down at his phone, tossing it up in the air and catching it before putting it on the table next to his water bottle. What could it hurt? Drinks with a few of his students, especially when the view would be nice for just a little while. Offering Aimi a grin, Sonyoung nods before leaning to pick up a towel and putting it around his neck as he watches him carefully, her eyes carefully moving over his exposed arms before moving back to his face.

“Sure, sounds like fun.”

“She just doesn’t answer my calls much anymore. I dunno what the fuck I’m supposed to do, man.”

Soonyoung sighs, using his shoulder to keep his phone against his ear as he pulls his jacket from the closet, causing the unused hangers to clang together. On the other side of the phone, Jihoon leans back in his chair, rocking his head side to side to move his blond bangs out of his eyes. He lets out a breath as he pushes his mouse across his computer screen and dragging levels up and down in the music editing program by eye and muscle memory.

“I don’t know. It’s not my place to —”

“Couldn’t you just... I dunno, talk to her? Get her to listen to reason? You are so good at that.”

Leaning his head back, Jihoon rolls his eyes as he pushes the mouse away from him out of annoyance. This wasn’t his job and he didn’t want to lie to you or tell you that it would all get better when clearly there was something going on that he couldn’t fix.

“I’m not a fucking relationship therapist, Soonyoung.”

Swallowing hard, Soonyoung stops just outside of his temporary apartment, hearing the anger in Jihoon’s voice. That hadn’t been the intention; he just wanted someone at bat for him, someone at home, to be in his corner for once.

“I’m sorry, man... I’m not saying that. You’ve been nothing but helpful. You know, taking Y/N meals and watching out for her... I really appreciate it.”

All of the things that Soonyoung was bringing up were things that Jihoon was happy to do for you. Maybe at first they were a little tedious but as time had gone by, days had turned to weeks, and weeks now to months—they were part of his life as much as you were.

“It’s fine. Uh… Look, okay? I’ll try to talk to Y/N and see if I can get her to give you a call when I take her something to eat tonight.”

The sounds of traffic make Soonyoung wonder if he had heard Jihoon wrong but he knew he hadn’t. Rubbing his lips together, Soonyoung nods as he furrows his brows, a bit of strain evident in his voice.

“You’re gonna take her something to eat again tonight? Is that like, a common thing now? I just—yeah, I dunno, I figured it was every once in a while.”

Shifting in his chair, Jihoon feels the apprehension in Soonyoung’s words. He knew that he should feel bad for how often he was spending time at your place but after holding you as you cried yourself to sleep, Jihoon couldn’t.

“It’s pretty often. She’s lonely, Soonyoung. You are on the other side of the world. You’re the one who asked me to do it in the first place.”

Soonyoung could feel the way his stomach was twisting with jealousy and something else he couldn’t quite name. Jihoon wasn’t wrong; he had asked him to do it, but he didn’t think he would be spending so many evenings hanging out with his girlfriend. He also didn’t really need his best friend to remind him of the distance between him and his girlfriend. The distance was very apparent and it was eating him alive.

“Yeah, I know I did. I don’t need you to tell me how lonely she is. I’m fucking lonely too.” With his feet hitting the steps to the studio hard as he pouts into his words, “I wish I was at home. I wish I had never fuckin’ taken this job.”

Running his fingers over his hair, Jihoon can’t help the way Soonyoung’s words hit him and made him feel bad for a split second. He couldn’t really understand the pain that his friend was feeling but it was obvious that he was suffering. Being with you almost every day, Jihoon saw your pain but today was the first time he had really heard Soonyoung’s, and even so, it didn’t make up for your tears.

“Then maybe you should fucking tell her that.”

You were pouting into your pint of ice cream as Jihoon watched you, finishing the last of his pasta. He had already tried to give you the “but Soonyoung just wants to talk to you; maybe you should call him tonight” talk and now you were being quiet. It wasn’t like you hadn’t sent Soonyoung texts throughout the day; you just hadn’t answered his phone calls or made any special effort to call him like you normally would.

“The ice cream was meant to cheer you up.”

Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you stab your spoon into your softening ice cream, making him wince at the sudden action. Clearly, you were upset at him, though he wasn’t sure that was entirely fair. He had just done what Soonyoung had asked of him and now it was biting him in the ass.

Sighing, Jihoon puts his plate down on the coffee table before leaning forward to lift his hands as if to say he is surrendering. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend the evening with you. He enjoyed the evenings when the two of you would sit close on the couch. You’d turn on one of your silly trash reality shows and he’d let you try to explain who was fucking who and who was cheating on who. In reality, he was just enjoying your company—more than he should.

“I’m sorry. I promised Soonyoung that I would try to put in a good word for him, but I can’t stand the idea that you might spoon me to death like your ice cream.”

You wanted to stay mad at Jihoon, but he made it difficult. You had started to trust him not to just take Soonyoung’s side because he was asked to but clearly everyone had their limit. It was already asking a lot of Jihoon to keep you company like he was, so adding ‘taking your side in the arguments’ was asking maybe too much.

“I don’t wanna talk to him right now, Jihoon. He has said something to me that I never thought—” Shaking your head, you pull your spoon free from your ice cream with a bit of a sad laugh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault. You’ve kept me sane.”

Your words go right to Jihoon’s heart, causing him to have to look away in fear of how he might react. That was a big role to take in your life and he knew that when it came to you, he was taking it seriously. Jihoon knew he should feel bad for how he started to feel about you but as long as he kept those feelings to himself, they wouldn’t matter.

“Uh—well I… You shouldn’t have to go through all this shit alone. I got tired of seeing you so lonely.”

Furrowing your brows, you watch Jihoon speak and how he looks down at his hands. You had known him for a long time, but over the past few months, you had gotten to know him almost as well as you knew Soonyoung. There were tells in his mannerisms and it was almost like playing poker with him. You could tell when he wasn’t telling you everything.

“I am lonely, Hoonie. You have helped me through a lot.” Sighing, you lean towards the coffee table to put your ice cream down before looking back over to Jihoon to meet his cautious eyes. “The food is nice but just having you here has been the best. Like last night, I really needed that.”

You watch as Jihoon lifts his hand to run his fingers over his hair with a long sigh. Something was on his mind but he just wasn’t saying it. Tilting your head, you scoot closer to him and Jihoon laughs under his breath before you hear what sounds like a curse. Did he not want you to be close to him anymore?

“I–I’m happy to help, Y/N. Last night, you said I didn’t overstep, but — fuck…”

Meeting your eyes, Jihoon’s words die on his tongue. He knows he can’t disappoint you. Not when you look so sad and vulnerable. Not when you are so fucking pretty and looking at him like he is a buoy in the middle of a vast ocean. You let out a soft whine and Jihoon’s eyes fell to your lips just once before he winced and leaned forward to brush his against yours, not wanting you to feel so alone.

At first, you freeze when you feel Jihoon’s lips against yours. Your brain misfires because you know it’s not Soonyoung and you know that you should push Jihoon away but then you relax. You sigh into the kiss and return it, letting Jihoon’s tongue slide along your bottom lip.

You arch against his body when you feel Jihoon’s hand grasp your waist as you lean your head into his hand as he cups your cheek with his other hand. Your tongue glides along his and you moan softly into his mouth before finally Jihoon pulls away with one last peck on your lips.

With his eyes closed tightly, Jihoon rests his forehead against yours, cursing himself silently. If he had thought he had overstepped the night before, now he had looked at the line and flipped it off. His hand trembles against your side and Jihoon sits back, looking up at the ceiling as you look at him coming out of your haze.

“Jihoon…I—”

“It was me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Jihoon starts to pull away from you and you feel your stomach twist in panic so quickly that you grab his shirt to stop him. When your eyes meet, Jihoon looks at you confusedly, but you just shake your head and bite at your lips, trying to think quickly.

“But I…I liked it.”

2:30 am

Jihoon groaned, looking at his lock screen again, before putting his phone face down on his bed. He had been staring at his ceiling for hours at this point, thoughts racing through his mind. All he could see was you looking at him with that sweet look on your face as he kissed you again.

“Fuck!”

There was so much that was fucked up about the situation. He had gone over to your house to talk you into calling Soonyoung. Instead, he had ended up making out with you on your couch before kissing you goodnight at your front door.

Now he was the one avoiding Soonyoung’s text messages. He didn’t know what he was going to say to him. 'Hey, yeah, talked to her. Kissed her and then kissed her again. You’re cool with that, right?’ He was sure that would go over well.

Closing his eyes, Jihoon runs his hand over his face before resting it on his bare chest as he tries to calm himself down but once again his thoughts land on you. He thinks about your fingers clinging to his shirt and how you sounded moaning into his mouth. He thinks about how sweet you would sound if he were between your—

Arching his hips off the bed, Jihoon groans at his own thoughts, trying to stop them but the damage is done. He had willed himself not to get hard while he was at your place but now he could feel his cock stiffening against his thigh under his shorts. This was pathetic; he was pathetic. All it took was thinking about how you’d sound if he were between your legs and he was hard and starting to leak.

Jihoon knew he could ignore his problem and eventually it would go away but it would take a while and he was already struggling to go to sleep. Smacking his hand against the bed, Jihoon lifts his hips, pushing his shorts down, before kicking them off under the sheet, letting his now throbbing cock rest back towards his abdomen.

Sighing in annoyance, he rubs his palm in a circle over his head to collect some of his pre-cum causing himself to hiss and buck his hips. Jihoon hated that his first thought as he wrapped his hand around his shaft, stroking himself from base to tip, was your hand in place of his. It was so fucking wrong of him to think about you like this while he was doing this, but it was doing the trick.

Muttering your name under his breath into a groan, Jihoon picks up speed with his hand as he lifts his hips towards his fist, fucking into it with even strokes. It felt good but it was nothing compared to what he imagined your pussy must feel like.

Soonyoung wasn’t a shy person. He was a jealous person, but that only made him brag more and that meant that he would overshare. Jihoon was thinking about that now as he squeezed his cock under his head, remembering how Soonyoung told him that your pussy was the tightest he had ever had and how you got so wet that he had to lay down towels and use his tongue to clean you up.

Warm, sticky cum hits Jihoon’s stomach and runs down his fingers as he groans out your name one more time before pushing his head back against his pillow. He was out of breath, his heart racing, and you were still running laps in his head as he thought about you licking him clean.

With one last stroke and whimpering groan, Jihoon knows he has nothing else to give. Fingers unwrap from his softening cock as he takes steady breaths, feeling sleep trying to take over him, for him to now fight it, knowing he has to get cleaned up.

He hated himself for what he had just done, but god if it didn’t feel worth it for how hard that he had cum and how well he would sleep.

“Of course I would be excited to see you, Soonyoung…”

You sigh into your words as you lean your head against your driver’s side window. You had a headache; it had been a long day at work and all you wanted to do was get out of traffic and get home. You didn’t really want to be on the phone with Soonyoung as he made empty promises but that is where you found yourself; listening to empty promises and stuck in a traffic jam.

“I think I can make it happen in a couple weeks, maybe three.”

The ever changing Soonyoung timeline. Shaking your head, you hold your phone with one hand and the steering wheel with the other as traffic starts to move in front of you.

“Sure…”

“I’m serious, Y/N! Why don’t you ever believe me? I feel like I’m the only one trying to make this work anymore.”

Frowning, you start to speak, feeling emotion rising in your chest, when suddenly you are launched forward and pain spreads through your chest. Soonyoung waits to hear you speak but instead he hears the sound of your surprised yelp and then the sound of car horns.

“Baby?” When you don’t answer him at first, Soonyoung paces in front of the mirrored wall, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/N? Talk to me, baby!”

Muffled voices and a ringing in your ears are all you can hear as you try to shake your head to push away the foggy feeling. Someone takes your arm as you try to move and you hear a man tell you that you shouldn’t move until someone makes sure you are okay first.

“What happened?”

You can hear yourself better than you can hear the man, until finally your ears seem to pop just as your vision starts to clear and you see your airbag against your chest.

“Car came up too fast behind you and knocked the hell out of you. I was in front of you.”

Leaning up to try to see the man’s vehicle in front of you, the man ushers you back down and shakes his head.

“Just a little damage. I’m not worried about it all that much. Your car is fucked and so is his.”

Wincing as you lean your head back, you can feel the burn from where your airbag and the seatbelt protected you from much worse. You try to turn your head to look for the other driver, hearing sirens, but instead just look for the man you had been talking to.

“Is he okay?”

Sighing, the man nods, giving you an annoyed look.

“Probably the drunk ones always get hurt less, they say.”

Holding his free hand over his ear, Soonyoung struggles to make out as much of your conversation with the unknown man as he can but the moment he realizes you have been in a car accident, he’s panicking. Swallowing hard, Soonyoung clenches his chest as he ends the call with you and grits his teeth, making the decision to call the only other person he knew could be there for you when he couldn’t.

“Yeah?”

Jihoon was almost nervous to pick up the phone after seeing Soonyoung’s name but he did it anyway. He had been avoiding his best friend most of the day except for the stray text here or there but this was the first phone call he had actually accepted.

“Jihoon!”

The panic in Soonyoung’s voice made Jihoon sit up straight, his heart rate speeding up, because his first thought was that something was wrong and it could only be you.

“Ji...I–fuck! I was on the phone with Y/N and I don’t know where she is.”

He could hear Soonyoung struggling with his words as he paced, unsure what to do. Jihoon’s first thought was, Fuck, I couldn’t imagine how hard this would be for him if something happened to you but then he could imagine it. He needed to know what was wrong and where you were.

“Slow down and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Nodding, Soonyoung runs his hand over his mouth and takes a breath, trying to start over slower and calmer.

“We were talking on the phone and she dropped it, I think. I heard something loud and then some dude was talking to her. He said something about an accident. I think she was in a wreck.”

Looking at his watch, Jihoon stands up from his chair, grabbing his keys and jacket, keeping his phone to his ear as he pushes his studio door open. He knew he should probably tell the others where he was going but, fuck it, they could figure it out.

“It’s 5:30; she was probably going home. Maybe she got stuck on the highway. I’ll find her and call you back.”

Jihoon groans at the woman sitting at the front desk of the emergency room as she stares up at him like he has three heads.

“Like I told you, if you aren’t a relative or a loved one, you can’t go back to see Miss Y/L/N. You can wait in the waiting area.”

His hair was starting to come loose from his bun with the number of times he had shaken his head. Jihoon was getting more annoyed by the minute. Gritting his teeth, he puts his palms flat on the desk and gives the woman a strained smile before tilting his head.

“I am a loved one. Y/N is my girlfriend. I’d really like to see her now.”

After a few more minutes of narrowing eyes at one another, Jihoon found himself being led back to your triage room, where you were sitting on a bed in a hospital gown with a frown. You were honestly so cute that he couldn’t help but pull the smallest of smiles from his lips. However, seeing the cut on your lip and eyebrow and the bruise that was already spreading along your neck, the smile quickly faded.

Nodding to the nurse, Jihoon moves towards your bed as the woman pulls the door shut, giving you and him more privacy. The moment your eyes meet, the tears fall over the rims of your eyes and Jihoon’s heart breaks.

“Hey…What’s that about? Did they say you have to stay overnight or something?”

Shaking your head, you reach out to take Jihoon’s wrist in yours, pulling him closer so that he will sit next to you on your bed. You find yourself just wanting to be close to him.

“No. I can go home as soon as the doctor makes sure I didn’t break anything and gets me a script for some pain meds.”

Furrowing his brows, Jihoon turns his hand over, letting you rest yours in his as he looks over your face even closer now. He could see where the bruises would be and where the hospital had cleaned up your cuts but there was still some dried blood. His stomach was in knots because it never should have happened.

“So why are you crying? Talk to me…”

“My car is fucked for one and I—” Your voice falls over into a small sob, causing Jihoon to lift his hand, his thumb gently caressing your cheek to push the tears away. “I’m scared and I don’t wanna be alone now. Soonyoung is—”

You don’t finish the sentence but Jihoon knows how it finishes. Soonyoung is so far away. He had heard you say it many times but this time it went right to his gut. He almost hated Soonyoung for leaving you alone and letting something like this happen to you, even though it wasn’t his fault and he had no way of preventing it whether he was here or not.

“One thing at a time, Y/N. Come here…”

Shifting on your hospital bed, Jihoon sits beside you, letting you curl against his chest so you can rest against him. He can feel your tears soaking through his shirt but he doesn’t mind it. The only thing he cares about is who is in his arms and whether you are safe.

“Let’s go through things one at a time. Your car. I know you have insurance. We will call tomorrow and make sure it’s being taken care of. I can get you to and from work.”

You start to complain but Jihoon just holds you tighter, making you sob softly against him before you nod.

“And being alone...”

You hear him let out a breath as he thinks of what to say so you do it first as you run your fingers along his chest around a button.

“Could you stay with me for a few days?”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon swallows hard as he leans his head back against the wall. He knew he should say no and that you should ask one of your girlfriends but he hates the idea of disappointing you.

“Yeah…I can do that, honey.”

“She’s banged up but she’s gonna be alright. They got her some pain meds and she’s out of work the rest of the week to rest.”

Soonyoung furrowed his brows to Jihoon’s words. He could tell the man was whispering but he didn’t really know why… Was he still with you? Looking down at his phone, he tried to do the math in his head but it didn’t make sense. If it was 5:30 pm for him, that would mean it was at least after midnight for you, if not later.

“Thanks for letting me know. Wish I was there… hate the idea of her being alone right now.”

Sighing, Jihoon looks at you in your bed as he leans back in the armchair before shaking his head at Soonyoung’s words. He wasn’t sure how to work around what the man had just said to him. He wasn’t an idiot but he didn’t want to cause a fight.

"Yeah, I don’t like it either but what is anyone going to do about it, Soonyoung? I told her that until her car is out of the shop, I’ll take her to and from work. That’s one less thing for her to worry about right now.”

Maybe he was letting his imagination get the best of him. That was it. He had always been a jealous man when it came to you and there was no reason for him to be worried when it came to you and Jihoon. Nodding along with his best friend’s words, Soonyoung offers a smile to Aimi as she gestures for him to hurry up as she and a few of the other students wait by the door of the studio.

“Thank you for doing that, Ji. I’ll try to call her later, after she’s got some rest. I owe you big time.”

That was an understatement, is all Jihoon could think as he heard the sounds of a girl giggling just as Soonyoung hung up the phone call. Of course, it could be nothing but there was no way to know.

Moving his eyes back over to you as your hands rested under your cheek, Jihoon tilted his head and started to stand up, intent on going to the couch, when you whispered his name. At first, he thinks you are just dreaming but then you sit up and look at him, making him stop in the doorway.

“Hey, you okay? You need something to drink? More pain meds?”

Shaking your head, you reach out your hand towards him and Jihoon’s heart beats hard in his chest at the implications of what you were asking of him.

“Stay? Don’t wanna be alone.”

Your voice is so tired and small. Jihoon closes his eyes for a brief moment before nodding and moving towards the bed to crawl in behind you, laying a good distance away. He thinks you’ll be satisfied to have him just anywhere close to you but then you turn over and lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arm over him so that you can pull your body in close to his.

“This okay, Hoonie?”

Running his free hand through his now loose, long blond hair, Jihoon wants to tell you no and that you need to lay away from him but everything about that is a lie. There was nothing more that he wanted. He hears you sigh happily when his hand under you shifts to run his fingers along your back, allowing you to curl even tighter against him, your leg pulling to rest against his thigh.

“Yeah, it’s okay, honey.”

You smile at the pet name. It wasn’t something that Jihoon had called you much about or ever before, but you were enjoying it. It made your stomach feel warm and your heart feel fluttery. Nuzzling your cheek against his chest, you spread your fingers out along his abs and close them to scratch at his skin through his thin shirt with a sigh.

“I like that…that name.”

If anything, Jihoon knew he was crossing a line with it, but fuck, look at where he was and look at where you were. The line was 300 miles back and he was waving at it in the distance at this point.

“I like it too. I like it too much.”

Shaking your head, you glance up at Jihoon with a pout on your lips as he meets your eyes in the dim, moonlit room. You could see the apprehension on his face and you knew why it was there but as much as you knew you should feel guilty, he was the one here and he was the one taking care of you.

Reaching up with your hand, you hold his chin in place so you can lean up to press your lips against his, granting you a soft groan from his. Jihoon’s brows furrow, and his fingers scratch lightly against your lower back right over your ass before he gasps for a breath, pulling away from you.

“Y/N…”

“I want you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon had felt bad about not giving in to you after you had confessed that you wanted him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you. God, if anything, he wanted you too much and that was what was killing him. You had pouted for a few minutes but then accepted his excuse that it was too fast and too soon after your accident before you fell asleep in his arms.

The sun was starting to rise and he knew he would have to leave you, at least for a few hours today. He would need to go into the recording studio and at least explain his sudden disappearance and work for a couple hours, but god, did you make it hard to leave you.

Running his fingers over your cheek as you nuzzle against his chest, Jihoon can’t help but smile as you smack your lips in your sleep. You are so cute that it is almost physically painful for him to look at you and not act on the whims that he feels. He wants to kiss you, put your back against the bed and show you how he would spoil you in bed. Instead, Jihoon just watches you sleep for a few minutes longer before he tries to slide his arm from under your body, only to feel your fingers tighten in the front of his t-shirt holding him to you.

“Hoonie…don’t leave.”

Your voice almost breaks his heart because he didn’t want to leave you but he had to. Sighing, Jihoon brushes your hair back, leaning to press his lips against yours, feeling you smile against his. With that, he’s able to maneuver his arm out, only for you to whimper against his lips and tug him back against you.

“Honey…I have to go take a shower and get to work. I won’t be gone all day, I promise.”

Looking down at you, Jihoon frowns at the darkening spot near your eye and lip. His eyes move down to where your tank top does nothing to hide your largest bruise on your shoulder and collarbone from where your seatbelt had been sitting.

“I’m gonna miss you. Can’t you just stay?”

Shaking his head, Jihoon leans to kiss your eyebrow lightly, then your split lip, before leaning to kiss your neck and collarbone, making you moan. It wasn’t his intention to turn you on; instead, he was just trying to kiss your wounds better but you couldn’t help but lace your fingers through his long hair, holding him to you.

Groaning as he feels your heel run along his thigh, Jihoon takes a breath against your neck, trying to keep his head. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone and he never thought the next person would be his best friend’s girl, but here you were with your hands in his hair and your body pressed against his.

“Jihoon…”

His name on your lips is like a siren’s call and Jihoon’s resolve breaks. Meeting your eyes, his lips press against yours hard, only for you to whimper at the slight pain of your split lip. He pulls back, realizing that his kiss is gentle and tender as his tongue dances with yours. You feel his hand slide from your waist to your hip so that his fingers can press into the top of your shorts, making you arch off the bed, wanting him to take them off.

“I can’t give you everything right now. I really do have to go in for a while today, but I’ll give you something, okay, honey?”

Nodding, you whine out his name as Jihoon pulls back from you. His eyes move over your face and down your body as his fingers press into the top of your shorts, pulling them down your legs with trembling hands. The line was thousands of miles behind him now; he couldn’t even see it. All he could see was you. All Jihoon could hear was his name on your lips as he dropped your shorts on the bed next to him and you spread your legs for him.

Jihoon lets out a shaky breath and it dawns on him that there is no one else who matters who isn’t in this room. It’s just you and him. His eyes move from your face, down your body, and finally between your legs, where his mouth starts to water at the sight of you. Your perfect folds are spread to reveal just how wet your pussy has gotten for him. Not for Soonyoung, but for him.

“Fuck…gonna eat you out, is that okay?”

It had been so long since you had been touched, so having someone look at you the way Jihoon did was almost overwhelming. You felt like you could cum untouched by just the feeling of his eyes but then his question and what he wanted to do to you had you clenching around nothing. Whining, you nod, scooting your hips further down in the bed as Jihoon moves between your legs, leaning to press kisses to your soft thighs, waiting for your verbal answer.

“Yeah, please? God, please, Hoonie?”

It wouldn’t take much convincing for Jihoon to give you what you wanted. With one hand wrapped around your hip, he uses his other to part your folds so he can see all of you. Letting out a groan to the sight, Jihoon glanced up the length of your body before shaking his head and spitting on to your clit before latching on to it with his mouth.

Soonyoung was great at everything in bed but this was different. You hadn’t been with too many people before you met Soonyoung and up until this moment, you had been faithful to him, but there was something about Lee Jihoon between your legs that had tears already streaming down your face. The groans and grunts let out against your pussy were almost animalistic as he ground his face against you, fucking you with his tongue.

Your fingers grip Jihoon’s hair, tugging at the long locks holding him closer between your legs as you feel the pressure building in your lower abdomen. It’s only when you are unable to hold it back anymore that you cry out his name and roll your hips hard against his face, cumming onto his tongue and chin.

Jihoon groans quietly against your warm, wet folds as he laps at your cum, enjoying every last drop. His fingers lazily massage your folds, causing your thighs to jerk and for him to smile against your pussy until you whine his name as if asking for mercy.

Licking his lips clean of you, Jihoon moves up between your legs to rest over you, kissing you gently and letting you taste yourself on his tongue. He basks in the sounds of your moans as your fingers grip and almost tear at his shirt, wanting more but he had already told you he couldn’t give you everything just yet. Nudging his nose against yours, Jihoon smiles against your lips before pulling away as you almost sob his name but he knows this time it’s just a ploy to keep him in your bed.

“I told you, honey, I gotta shower and get to work. I’ll pick up food tonight and we can cuddle when I get back.”

Turning on your side, you take a deep breath, feeling exhausted as you watch Jihoon walk towards your en suite, his fingers running through his long blonde hair. You knew you should feel guilty and maybe you did deep down but you had needs and right now, as your thighs ached from your legs being spread apart as he ate you out like his last meal, you couldn’t feel a single drop of guilt.

You wake up to the sound of your phone, causing your brows to furrow in annoyance. You had been sleeping so well but still, your fingers reach out for your phone, bringing it to your ear as you answer it with a sleepy voice.

“Hello? Jihoon?”

Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung tries not to take too much offense to how you answer the phone because he can tell you were asleep and he can tell you aren’t yourself. Jihoon had told him that you were on some pretty strong pain medications, so maybe that was clouding your judgment.

“No, baby, it’s me, Soonie.”

You smile softly, feeling a warmth rush over you upon hearing Soonyoung’s voice. There was a conflicting feeling underlying it but on the surface, you were happy to hear from him. You missed him despite everything and you loved him.

“Hi, Soonie.”

That was more like it, you seemed more like yourself. Maybe a bit of a drunk version of yourself but still, you seemed happy to hear from him and that Soonyoung could handle.

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”

Whining as you turn over on your back, you put your hand on your shoulder, feeling the stretch in your arm, making Soonyoung hear you in pain. He knew if he could be on a plane and back with you in that moment, he would be, but it was literally impossible.

“I’m fine. Just hurts a bit. I could probably go back to work earlier than the doctor said.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung punches in the code to his building as he rests his phone on his shoulder, letting his foot catch the door so he can get his stuff inside.

“No, baby… listen to what the doctor said. If you need more time to heal and rest, take it.”

Pouting, you sit up in bed, looking around for Jihoon, remembering he had left for work long before. Nodding to Soonyoung’s words, you just sigh and give in to your current predicament.

“I guess so. Maybe they will have the car fixed before Monday. I hate the idea of Hoonie driving me around.”

Hoonie, it wasn’t like that was the first time he had heard you call his best friend that but for some reason this time it made his hair stand on end and his mouth go dry. Nodding, Soonyoung puts his groceries down hard on the counter, making you jump in your bed with a wince as you hear him sigh loudly.

“You okay, Soonyoung?”

Rolling his eyes, Soonyoung takes out one of his beers and pops it open, taking a sip as he leans against the counter, tilting his head as he looks at the label with narrowed eyes.

“Course I am, babe. Get some rest. I love you.”

Soonyoung doesn’t give you much time to respond before the sound of a phone call ending goes off in your ear and you are left with his picture staring back in your face. Furrowing your brows, you reach for your bottle of water that Jihoon had left and your bottle of pills, taking another one before settling back into your covers and trying to relax once again.

Looking at his phone, Soonyoung runs his thumb along his contacts before he lands on Aimi and puts it to his ear, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips when he hears her pick up.

“Hey, no, yeah... I’m fine. Just wanted to see if you wanted to come over and hang out.”

Jihoon tried to be quiet while moving through your front door, but smelling food cooking as soon as he walked in made him realize there was no point in trying. Following his nose, he smiled while watching you stand in front of the stove in fresh clothes, humming along to something playing on your phone. If you had heard him come in, you weren’t letting him in on it.

Sliding his hands around your waist, Jihoon laughs when you jump, dropping your spoon into your soup with a small splash of liquid that both of you are barely able to miss as it hits the floor. Jihoon whispers apologies against your ear before leaning to kiss your neck as you calm down and pout at him before he pulls away to get a paper towel to clean up.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you would have heard me come in.”

Shaking your head, you look down in your soup for the lost spoon before Jihoon moves back to your side, dipping his fingers in and pulling it out with a small hiss to the heat, letting you take it from him.

“I didn’t, but I’m glad you are home.”

Home. What a loaded word. This wasn’t his home but you made him wish it was. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded it wasn’t his home as Soonyoung smiled at him from the fridge and the walls, but he was getting pretty good at ignoring him.

Sliding his hand along your hip, Jihoon takes a deep breath of the steam coming off the soup, nodding appreciatively as you look up at his content. This was the happiest you had been all day since before he left you for work. It was the most coherent you had been as well. You barely remembered your phone call with Soonyoung and you hadn’t received any text messages from him so you knew he was asleep or something. It didn’t matter.

“Can you get down a couple bowls and we can eat on the couch? We have some trash TV to catch up on.”

This was the perfect way to spend an evening and how Jihoon wished he could spend every single evening. He didn’t need to worry about rushing off. His stomach was full of food that you had made for him and now you were lying in his arms as the TV played one of your silly shows that you cared too much about.

Fingers lightly strum over Jihoon’s chest as you smile, listening to his heartbeat more than you listen to the arguments or gossip on the show. You find yourself enjoying the feeling of Jihoon’s hand cupping your hip and his thumb resting under your shirt above your shorts more than you do anything else. You never want the night to end or maybe it is more than that, something deeper but it’s nothing that you can talk about out loud just yet.

When your eyes meet Jihoon's, he smiles at you and you feel like you are melting on the spot because it's been so long since someone has looked at you like that. Since someone has really looked at you, you feel like you could get lost in his eyes as his fingers lightly move across your cheek and down your jaw before he leans in to press his lips to yours, and you melt all over again. There’s something there that is unspoken and it will remain unspoken for the sake of everyone involved. You just kiss and give into it.

Jihoon groans when he finally moves you to your bed and has you sitting on his lap. He whines into your mouth, feeling the weight of you over his hard cock. He wants to tell you that maybe this is too much or too fast but what about if this is too much or too fast? What about this? Is it even right? He knows it and he knows what you do too, so instead he just gives into it.

Clothes find their way into the floor until your skin is naked against Jihoon and his fingers can finally move over your soft skin like he has always wanted to. He feels dirty and like this isn’t his—because it isn't—and yet something whispers in his ear that you are his. Right now, at this moment, you are his.

“Please?”

One word falls from your lips and Jihoon will give you the world; he will bring down the moon and the stars for you to make it better. Resting on your back, you cling to Jihoon, his hair falling from his bun as he looks down at you, his right hand sliding along your inner thigh, working its way towards your warm center. Two fingers slide between your wet folds and Jihoon’s lips fall open in the same way yours do as he works his fingers into your pussy, feeling your warm walls clench around them.

He remembers in that moment Soonyoung bragging to him about how tight and messy you are and he can’t help but smirk to himself that he is getting to know that firsthand. Groaning against his arm, Jihoon can barely move his fingers inside of you, searching for that one spot that will make you scream his name but when he finds it, you arch off the bed and Jihoon almost cums on the spot, untouched by the sight of you and the sounds that come out of your mouth.

Your velvet walls tremble around his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you at almost a brutal pace, trying to get you ready for his cock without even thinking about anything else. All Jihoon can think about is your wet slick seeping around his fingers and how it is running down his wrist with each deep thrust of his fingers. He is just thinking about how good it will feel on his cock and how sweet you will sound as he’s pushing you into the mattress that you share with Soonyoung.

Shaking his head to push Soonyoung out of it, Jihoon groans your name as your nails scratch his chest and along his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips when you cum. He groans loudly, feeling his fingers being sucked back into you with each wave of your orgasm, making it almost impossible for him to pull away from you until you finally relax and your thighs stop shaking.

Smiling, Jihoon presses kisses on your cheek and along your neck before looking up at you to meet your eyes as he slips his fingers from your dripping center. You watch as he brings them to his lips and sucks each one of them clean with a small groan, making you whine under him.

“Hoonie, please, I need you.”

“Yeah? I won’t make you wait, honey.”

Leaning over you, Jihoon opens the nightstand he knows to be Soonyoung and groans when he only finds an empty box of condoms before resting his head on his bicep.

“Baby, do you have condoms on your side?”

Swallowing hard, you shake your head already, knowing you don’t. Dread feels you knowing that if you don’t say something, he won’t fuck you like you want him to. Lifting your hand, you cling to Jihoon’s arm and whine as sweetly as you can, making him look down at you as you look up at him through lowered lashes.

“I don't, but I’m on birth control, Jihoon. That’s why we don’t have anything here. Just fuck me, please?”

Jihoon knew he should say no and wait until he could pick something up but that look in your eyes and the sweet tone of your voice were killing him. You hadn’t been with anyone else besides Soonyoung in years and he knew he hadn’t been with anyone in months, maybe closer to a year. Groaning, Jihoon rests his forehead against your shoulder before nodding, making you smile as you run your fingers through his hair.

Learning from you, Jihoon pushes down his boxers, kicking off the last remaining piece of clothing, keeping him separated from you as your eyes follow him. Swallowing hard, you watch as he strokes himself a few times before he meets your eyes as if looking for permission once again, only for you to nod and slide your leg up and off to the side, letting him move back between your thighs.

Running his thumb over your clit first, Jihoon watches how your body jerks, making him smirk before he follows that same action with the head of his cock. His brows furrowed as he made a pass with his tip between your folds to collect some of your arousal before finally meeting your eyes as he pushed into you for the first time, slow and steady.

You had been used to the feeling of Soonyoung stretching you out so the feeling of Jihoon was completely different. Soonyoung was longer, whereas Jihoon had girth and it was almost painful as he sank into you, making you see white for a moment. A moan gets caught in your throat when Jihoon bottoms out and he stays where he is, catching his breath as you clench around him, making it impossible for him to move at first.

“Oh…shit. Y/N, you gotta relax. Relax for me, honey.”

Nodding, you do your best to listen to Jihoon’s voice and let your body relax as his fingers stroke the side of your face into your hair. You smile at the feeling of his lips pressing against your throat, feeling his smile against your skin when you do as he asked you to.

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Can I move?”

Whining out a yes, you nod and scratch at Jihoon’s back as he starts to thrust slowly but deeply, making you cry once again. Tears of pleasure begin to stream down your face and over Jihoon’s thumb, causing him to look up in concern until he sees the blissed out look on your face.

Wiping the tears from your face, Jihoon groans your name, picking up his pace and listening to you cry out his name as you tighten around him once again. He didn’t need you to tell him that you were close. He could feel it as your orgasm started to rip through you. The way you got impossibly wetter and how you clamped down on him and held him inside of you like a vice.

Groaning your name, it soon turns into a hiss as he follows you over that edge in a panic, trying to pull out only to have you cling to him with tears in your eyes, begging him to stay. Nodding, Jihoon relaxes, and his cum fills you with each deep thrust, making you throw your head back with a moan of his name.

Collapsing on top of you, Jihoon struggles to catch his breath for a moment as sweat rolls along his neck and down his chest to your skin. Licking your lips, you run your fingers through his hair and over his back as you come down from your high, feeling like you have been to the moon and back.

“Fuck…”

A smile pulls at your lips as Jihoon curses against your neck. After a few moments, he rolls over to your side, pulling from you carefully, before resting his forearm over his eyes, still catching his breath as if he had just run a mile. Shaking your head, you can’t help but admire the man beside you in your bed under the moonlight, as if he is a piece of art, as with each of his breaths, his muscles expand and contract, showing off all his hard work spent in the gym.

“Thank you, Jihoon. I really needed that.”

Laughing, Jihoon just shakes his head, moving his arm to look at you before laughing again and pulling you into his arms to kiss you softly, making you smile.

“Why are you thanking me for fucking you?”

Shrugging you, run your finger nails along his abs, making him suck in on a breath as he leans his head back against the pillows.

“What else am I supposed to say?”

Shaking his head, Jihoon runs his fingers over your back and furrows his brows, realizing he isn’t even sure what the right answer to that question is. It isn’t that you love him or that he loves you, not even if it were true. So perhaps your response was appropriate for the time. Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling, staying quiet for a moment before lightly patting your back.

“I don’t know, but I do know we need a shower. We smell like sex.”

Laughing, you watch Jihoon slide out of your bed and around towards the ensuite, where the water for the shower starts to run.

“Such a romantic, Lee Jihoon.”

Grinning, Jihoon leans against the bathroom counter, looking at himself in the mirror as the room starts to fill with steam and he waits for you to join him.

“Yeah, I know I am, honey.”

Staring at your phone, you run your thumb over Soonyoung’s face as you think about what happened between you and Jihoon. The guilt had started to weigh heavily on you. That wasn’t who you were. You had always been faithful to Soonyoung because that’s the type of person he and you were.

Pressing your thumb down over his name, you put the phone to your ear and sigh. You knew it was pretty early in Tokyo. It was after 5 pm for you and Jihoon would be coming back home soon so that would mean Soonyoung was probably getting ready to leave for work. What you didn’t expect was someone else to pick up his phone.

“Hello?”

A sweet female’s voice greets your ear and you feel like the walls that have been stable around you are crashing down around you. You hear her say hello again before you shake some sense into yourself and look at your hands, finally able to speak.

“Uh hi… I was trying to reach Soonyoung.”

The girl smiles into her words before giggling as she looks around his apartment, listening to the shower turn off.

“Yeah, he’s here. He’s getting out of the showe—”

“Hello?”

Soonyoung had heard Aimi talking to someone and there were only a few people who would be calling him this early in the morning. Taking the phone out of her hand, he shoots her an annoyed look as he glances at your face on his screen before trying to get you to talk to him.

“Baby?”

Aimi pouts while watching Soonyoung hold his towel up around his waist as she sits back on his bed. Her eyes follow him as he moves into the bathroom, shutting the door where she can’t hear him anymore.

“Who was that, Soonyoung?”

Sighing as he leans against the counter, Soonyoung tries to think of his feet and the best thing he can think of is a half truth.

“A student. I–uh I gotta work on some stuff with her before class. She showed up too early. Sorry, she answered my phone, babe. Won’t happen again.”

Tears gather at the rims of your eyes as you just nod along with Soonyoung’s words. You knew deep down that there was nothing you should have over him after what had happened between you and Jihoon but it still hurt. You didn’t believe him because you knew what Soonyoung sounded like when he was lying.

“Baby? You–you heard me, right?”

Wiping at your cheeks, you just nod again before looking up at the entryway to your bedroom, where Jihoon is standing with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, I heard you. I gotta go, Soonyoung.”

Leaning his head down towards the sink, Soonyoung groans under his breath. He didn’t want to just let you get off the phone after something like this but he couldn’t force you to stay on the phone and listen to him come up with excuses.

‘Yeah…okay baby. I love you, so so much.”

Looking up at Jihoon, you wipe at your cheek once more, answering Soonyoung numbly while your words are left in the air, causing Jihoon’s heart to tighten.

“I love you.”

Hanging up your phone, you drop it onto the bed and close your eyes before you feel the mattress sink next to you and Jihoon’s arms wrap around you. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew you were in pain and if he could take it away, he would.

Closing his eyes, Jihoon rests his face against your hair and takes in a deep breath, letting it out as you let out a soft, sad sob that shatters his heart. He knew that you were talking to Soonyoung. He knew that ‘I love you’ hadn’t been meant for him but he wished it had been. In his mind, he would never leave you like this. He wouldn’t have you crying because of him day after day.

“Y/N…honey…do you wanna talk about it?”

Shaking your head, you start to tell him no before you lean back to meet his eyes and all of your resolve melts away. Jihoon can only coo at you in sympathy, bringing his thumbs up to push the tears from under your eyes as you try to explain about the girl picking up the phone.

“What do you want me to do, baby? I’ll call him and cuss his ass out. I’ll call her.”

The words were nice but deep down, even Jihoon knew what you and he were doing was no better. At the end of the day, you didn’t really know if Soonyoung was sleeping with this girl, but did it really matter?

Moving to lay against Jihoon, you shake your head hard and cling to Jihoon like a life raft to keep you from drowning. You know that you shouldn’t want him as much as you do but all you can think about in that moment is his lips on yours and how it would distract you from your heartbreak.

“No, no…just…”

This was becoming the routine for the two of you. Jihoon would go to work and come home before ending up on top of you, either in bed or on the couch, where the two of you would eventually end up naked.

Furrowing his brows, Jihoon groans as you lay back on your bed, pulling him with you. He knew what you wanted as your fingers pulled at his shirt and worked his hair loose from its bun. He didn’t want to tell you no, so he wouldn’t. Instead, Jihoon just meshes his lips with yours and kisses away your pain and tears. With each piece of clothing that he removes from you or himself, that’s just another layer of anxiety or stress that he is removing until finally his skin is met with yours.

“Hoonie…be rough with me?”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon bites down lightly against your neck, near where your bruise was starting to fade when you asked him that question. There had been times when he had wanted to let go with you and just have his way with you but he had been afraid to hurt you or scare you, but now you were asking.

“You sure, honey?”

Nodding, you scratch your nails along Jihoon’s back, knowing that you are leaving marks that will fade in a few minutes. You didn’t want to think anymore; you just wanted to feel. All you wanted in your brain was Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon.

Hissing at the feeling of your nails on his skin, Jihoon pulls back to look down at you with fire in his eyes. He would give you what you wanted. Licking his lips, Jihoon stares at you for a moment, only to then capture your lips with his in a breathtaking kiss. You whine into his mouth as Jihoon’s teeth nip at your lips before he pulls away completely, kneeling on the bed in front of you.

“Come here; let me use that mouth.”

Turning over, you blink up at Jihoon, only for him to pull you to where he wants you with one hand as he holds his cock in his other. Sucking on his bottom lip, Jihoon tilts his head, watching your eyes fall to what’s in front of you before you open your mouth and he taps his head on your tongue a couple times before sliding into your warm, wet mouth with a groan.

“Fuck…just like that. Hands on my thighs, baby. If it’s too much, tap a few times, and I’ll stop.”

Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you moan around his cock and he almost loses it right then and there. He could feel your nails digging into his thighs as he buried his cock into your mouth, his tip almost reaching the back of your throat. The sound of your moans mixed with gagging caused Jihoon’s brain to misfire as he groaned your name.

Fingers hold your head close to his hips as Jihoon keeps you as close to him as possible until he hears you whine and he lets you go. Leaning your head back, you blink up through tears as Jihoon wipes his hand over his lips, watching his pre-cum and your saliva drips down your chin. The sight is something he knows he won’t forget for a long time.

“Good fucking girl, honey. Now turn your ass towards me. You want it rough, don’t you?”

Nodding, you can barely answer Jihoon as you weakly move into the position he wants you in. Hands slap at your thighs, causing them to sting, before the same hands come down on your ass, making you cry out in surprise. Leaning over your back, Jihoon smiles against your ear, listening to you calm down as he presses small kisses on your skin.

“You like that? When I spank you?”

“Yeah, I like it, Hoonie.”

Smirking, Jihoon pushes off the bed and slaps his hand down over your ass cheek one more time, listening to the sound of your moaning cry as he rubs his hand in a circle over the warm skin. With his free hand, he uses his thumb to spread your folds as he ruts his hips against you from behind, feeling your arousal drip onto his cock.

“Honey…You are soaked. Might make me think you like being treated like a slut.”

Whimpering in embarrassment, you bury your face against your arm. You listen to Jihoon laugh as his fingers dig into your hip. The fingers that once were running between your folds now help to press his cock against your leaking hole.

Gasping, you scratch at the bedding under you, feeling the way that Jihoon’s cock stretches you in this new position. When his cock is fully buried inside, only then are you able to fully catch your breath, only to have it taken when it gives you no mercy and starts to pound into you relentlessly.

You knew what you had asked for and Jihoon was delivering it. There were no coherent thoughts left in your mind. The only thing you could think about was him until the sound of his phone going off just as you were about to cum brought you back to reality.

Frowning, Jihoon glances towards the nightstand to see Soonyoung’s face lighting up on his phone. Leaning over your back, Jihoon groans your name, feeling you tighten around him, only for you to glance towards the phone. He can feel the exact moment when you fall under him and he knows the moment is lost.

“Stop…stop…please?”

Coming to a stop, Jihoon carefully pulls from you as you ask him to, his head turning away from the phone only for a moment before he curses under his breath and smacks it from the nightstand. Bringing the phone to his ear, still out of breath, he answers the call, anger evident in his tone.

“Yeah?”

Taken aback by the anger, Soonyoung furrows his brows and wipes his towel across his neck to clean off a new layer of sweat from practice. Maybe Jihoon had been at the gym and he was interrupting a set, but he had never gotten that sort of response or that level.

“Am I bothering you? Fuck, dude…”

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sits on the side of your bed, feeling his head start to hurt as you turn away from him and pull your legs up towards your stomach. He knew you were feeling shame and guilt when you didn’t need to and it was Soonyoung’s fault, it was his fault. You weren’t at fault for this.

“Yeah, you are. What do you want?”

Scoffing, Soonyoung looks at himself in the mirror, clenching his fist and unclenching it before letting out a sigh.

“I was just waiting to check in. I wanted to see if you had talked to Y/N today. Something happened earlier and I am just…”

The laugh starts off unamused but ends up being a genuine laugh as Jihoon leans his head back, causing Soonyoung to be even more confused until Jihoon speaks.

“The chick picking up the phone? I know about it. Be smarter about your hook-ups if you are trying to keep them from your girl, Soonyoung.”

Now Soonyoung was seeing red. Jihoon might be his best friend but that didn’t give him the right to tell him how to live his life or how to handle his relationship with you. Especially when he was getting awfully cozy with you.

“Fuck you, man. You have no idea what I’m going through. Know what I think?”

Making a questioning sound, Jihoon lifts his brows, waiting for Soonyoung to continue but Soonyoung just scoffs, putting his fist against the mirror.

“I’m waiting to hear the great gospel, according to Kwon Soonyoung.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung hangs up the call and turns to slide down the mirror to sit on the floor as Aimi frowns at him. Moving closer, she kneels in front of him, brushing her fingers over his cheek and he gives in, leaning into a friendly touch.

Three Weeks Later

You had just gotten your car back. You and Jihoon had started splitting time between who’s place you would stay at but today just happened to be one of the evenings when he was busy and you needed a little time to yourself.

Rubbing the back of your neck, you drop your keys into the bowl beside the door and sigh, not noticing the extra shoes beside the door. You don’t notice the suitcase next to the couch until the smell of Soonyoung’s cologne overwhelms you.

“Hey baby.”

Startled, you take a step back as Soonyoung smiles at you, his brows furrowing at your reaction to him. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to just show up but you had started ignoring his calls more and answering fewer texts and he was starting to worry about you. He was starting to worry about you and him.

“Oh, hey, sorry... didn’t mean to scare you, babe.”

Grinning, Soonyoung moves towards you, pulling you into his arms as you wrap your arms around his waist, feeling tears stinging your eyes. You feel overwhelmed and uncertain what to do or how to feel. He doesn’t seem real, even if he’s in your arms. The man that you have loved for so many years of your life now just feels like guilt in your hands.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Nodding, you cling to Soonyoung, not wanting him to see any disappointment on your face. Because you aren’t really disappointed. You have missed him. No matter anything that had happened or would happen, this man was your friend and you always wanted him to be. He had started that way, as your best friend. He knew how to make you laugh better than anyone and you loved him for that.

“Of course I am, Soonie. When did you get here?”

Soonyoung smiles, burying his nose against your hair and taking in your scent as he closes his eyes. He tries to count the time in his head but the jet lag makes everything muddle together. Shaking his head, he just laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“Couple of hours ago. Just enough time to throw some left over in the oven and a load of laundry in. All I wanna do now is lay down and cuddle with my girl. Can we do that?”

Your heart feels like glass as you listen to Soonyoung talk, because it sounds so simple. You want to tell him everything he wants to hear so you just do it. You nod and look up at him with a smile, letting him press a kiss to your lips that you meekly return, though your brain drifts to Jihoon.

“Yeah, of course. Let me... let me–uh change and we can lay on the couch.”

Whining, Soonyoung wraps his arms around you from behind, burying his face against your neck as you start to walk away from him. Your hand on your cellphone is in your jacket pocket as he pulls you back against him.

“Not the couch, kitten. I wanna lay on the bed. I’m tired… cuddle with me.”

You scoff into an unamused laugh before nodding and looking over your shoulder at Soonyoung, who smiles at you so sweetly that you can’t say no.

“Yeah, the bed. I’ll change and meet you there.”

Watching Soonyoung trudge off down the hall, you let out a breath, pulling out your cellphone to text Jihoon with shaking hands.

Y/N 💗: Soonyoung is home

The day had been long but the night was going to be longer. Jihoon hated album wrap ups but as a producer, sometimes he had to do grunt work up until the early hours of the morning. Hearing his phone go off was one thing that could make him smile until he read your text and his face fell.

Muttering fuck under his breath and drawing the attention of a friend in the studio with him, Jihoon apologizes, turning his chair away to answer you.

Hoonie 💗: For how long?

Y/N 💗: I have no idea

Rubbing his hand over his face, Jihoon puts his phone face down on his desk in front of him. It wasn’t your fault. In truth, Soonyoung had given you both a warning when he said two or three weeks, but he usually never kept those promises.

Looking at your phone as you move into your room, you glance at the bed to see Soonyoung lying where Jihoon usually would be now. A smile on the man’s face as he flips through channels on the TV, picking what he wants instead of what you like.

Eyes shift towards you as you move into the closet, closing it halfway and making Soonyoung’s brows furrow. You had never shied away from him before, but it had been several months since he had been home so maybe that was all this was. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the TV and leaned his head back against the pillows, enjoying the comforts of home.

Hanging up your jacket, you swallow hard, seeing no new texts from Jihoon. You couldn’t blame him. There wasn’t anything else to say. You could hear the TV and Soonyoung’s soft laughter, which made you wish that things were as easy as he was making them seem.

“Soonie…babe? How…uh, how long are you home?”

Pursing his lips, Soonyoung glances towards the closet again, seeing a peek of your skin as you change into your classic choice of pajamas, a tank top, and short shorts. In one way, your question was a simple and normal one, but in another way, it seemed suspicious. Soonyoung decided to keep it simple and think that you were just curious about his plans.

“Wish it was longer, but... I fly out tomorrow night.”

Staring at the clothes in front of you, a scoff falls from your lips. The first thought on your mind is “What was the fucking point?” but you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you just pick up your phone and text Jihoon as you shake your head.

Y/N 💗: He flies out tomorrow night.

You don’t expect a text back, so you just hold your phone to your waist until you move to the bed, smiling at Soonyoung. Laying your phone face down, you plug it in, leaving it silent, before slipping under the covers and letting your boyfriend pull you in close to him with a happy groan.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you? I tried to find a better time but it’s so fucking busy. They keep trying to keep me on full time.”

Furrowing your brows, you look up at Soonyoung to gauge his expression but it’s almost impossible to judge. You start to realize you aren’t sure you know this man anymore.

“And what do you want to do?”

Shrugging, Soonyoung stumbles over his words before just smiling at you and running his fingers along your jaw.

“Right now? I just wanna kiss my beautiful girlfriend. I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby.”

You knew he was deflecting but you also didn’t want to argue. You didn’t have the strength or the will to fight with the one person who you had simultaneously missed and hated over the past few months. So you give in, closing your eyes as Soonyoung’s lips brush over yours. You take a breath as his hand slides along your waist and he pulls you closer before laying you on your back so he can lay on top of you.

Nothing feels the way it should. At one point in your life, you loved Soonyoung with every fiber of your being. His touch was electric; his mouth was like fire on your skin, but now you feel dull as he groans your name, his thigh pressed between your legs. It isn’t that it doesn’t feel good or that you aren’t able to get off on it; it’s more to do with the fact that you are picturing someone else in your bed.

Keeping your eyes shut tightly, you whine when Soonyoung’s lips brush over your stomach as his fingers tug your shorts down so he can lay between your thighs. He gasps at the sight of your wet folds before pulling them apart with his thumbs so he can run his tongue from your entrance all the way to your clit, causing you to arch off the bed.

With a smirk, Soonyoung can’t help but let how you are reacting go to his head. All he can think about is how good he makes you feel and how you taste on his tongue. In his mind, this is the first time you have had someone's tongue on your pretty pussy in months and it’s his alone.

“Fuccckk….kitten. My sweet girl. So fucking messy. Getting juice all over my face. You should just come back to Tokyo with me.”

Shaking your head, you want him to stop talking so you push Soonyoung’s head back down between your legs so that his mouth is flush with your pussy. Two fingers work their way into your tight hole and Soonyoung groans around your clit, feeling how you clench down on them. He practically growls when your fingernails scratch at his scalp, feeling like you finally cum for him, though you made him work for it.

Coming up for air, Soonyoung chuckles, looking down at you as you hide your face. You look so cute and shy. You remind him of when the two of you first got together and how innocent you had been before he rammed his cock into you, much like he was going to do now.

Watching your mouth fall open in a moan, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip as his hands hold to your hips as he thrusts into you hard and fast. He had missed you and honestly, there was no one else like you. Nothing could compare to how your pussy would clench down on his cock and hold him inside of you like you were trying to keep him forever. God, how he wanted you to keep him forever in that moment, even if his mind momentarily slipped to Aimi whining on his bed.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Soonyoung falls on top of you. His mouth finds your neck as he bites and sucks deep marks that he hopes will stay for at least long enough for you to remember where he was. His thrusts grow impatient and uneven until finally you hear his high pitched groan against your skin when Soonyoung cums inside of you.

Tears roll from your eyes and along your temples as your hand rests on your forehead, the other against his back, feeling him push his cum back inside of you. At one point in your life, you would have loved that feeling but you knew at that moment that you didn’t love him anymore or at least you didn’t love him as much as you once did. How were you supposed to tell the person who was the love of your life something like that?

You wake up alone the next morning, your eyes swollen from crying yourself silently to sleep the night before. Turning to look for Soonyoung, you find nothing but an empty bed and his jacket slung over the chair in the corner. Only the smell of food cooking in the kitchen lets you know that you aren’t truly alone.

Reaching for your phone, you sniff back fresh tears as you check for new messages, seeing a couple from Jihoon that actually work to calm you down.

Hoon 💗: Then I’ll come over once he’s gone

Hoon 💗: You still got me, honey

Smiling, you run your thumb over the screen and send back a simple heart emoji before turning in the direction of where Soonyoung’s phone dings. Glancing towards the door, you lean over the bed and pick up his phone, looking at the lock screen and seeing a few messages from Aimi.

Aimi: So bored without you

Aimi: OMG come back already…

Aimi: 🥺

You know that you should feel hurt or angry when you see the messages but instead you find yourself suddenly indifferent as you turn Soonyoung’s phone face down on his nightstand and slide out of bed. Slipping on your robe, you make your way out towards the kitchen, putting on a smile as he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips with a sigh.

“Good morning, gorgeous.”

Humming, you slide on to a bar stool and look at the food he has made, noting you would have to go grocery shopping once again. It was a nice gesture on his part but when you were practically living on your own most days, paying rent on your own while your boyfriend was off living his dreams, you couldn’t just buy anything and everything you wanted.

“What time is your flight?”

Wincing, Soonyoung turns to take the juice out of the fridge, glancing towards the microwave for the time being before tilting his head back and forth before looking at you for sympathy.

“I’ll have to leave here around 2ish if I wanna make it through security and all that international shit on time.”

Glancing at the clock, you lift your brows and sigh before leaning your chin on your arm as Soonyoung pours two cups of juice, watching you closely.

“You aren’t mad at me? I know it’s a short visit but I wanted to at least try. I’ve missed you so much, kitten.”

Shaking your head, you pick up a piece of bacon and chew on it with a sigh from your nose before meeting his eyes.

“You have to do what you have to do, Soonyoung.”

Your indifference causes Soonyoung’s brows to furrow and his stomach to twist with anxiety but he still tries to offer you a smile. Taking a sip of his juice, he pushes yours towards you before looking at the fridge and seeing a picture of you and Jihoon smiling, heads pushed together. It looks innocent enough but it still makes his heart hurt. Gesturing towards it, Soonyoung clears his throat and licks his lips of any remaining juice.

“You and Jihoon have gotten pretty close.”

Looking at the picture, you can’t help but smile, remembering the day Jihoon went with you to the farmer’s market and how he hadn’t complained a single time. Shrugging at Soonyoung’s words, you look down at the food in front of you, pushing around the eggs before sighing softly.

“He’s a good person. He’s good to me. Don’t you want someone to be good to me?”

Narrowing his eyes, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip at the accusation that seems to be lingering right under your question but instead of giving into his anger, he just looks down at his own plate of food and lets out a long, drawn out breath.

“Course I do, babe. I love you more than anything.”

Rolling your eyes, you think back to the text messages from Aimi and mutter under your breath that you doubt that, making Soonyoung lean his head in towards you over the counter in confusion.

“What did you say, baby? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nothing, just said... I love you too.”

You had watched Soonyoung repack his carry-on and grab a couple of things out of your shared closet before he kissed you goodbye with a concerned look on his face. You only offer him a half smile, leaning against the door frame, as he looks back, telling you he will let you know when he lands and how much he loves you.

“Mmkay, have a safe flight.”

Pausing, Soonyoung licks his lips, lifting his hand to block the sun as he looks at you, trying to remember what it felt like when you were head over heels for him. Something was different. He knew it and so did you but neither of you were willing to say it.

Nodding as his gaze drops to the ground, Soonyoung can only let out a half amused laugh, realizing you hadn’t told him that you loved him back. Maybe it had been a mistake or just because you seemed so tired, but looking up and meeting your eyes—seeing the tears even from halfway down the driveway—he knew it wasn’t.

“Okay, babe.”

If this had been the old you—the old Soonyoung—you would have walked to the end of the driveway with him. You would have begged him not to go back and told him how much you loved him—to the end of the earth and back. But that wasn’t who either of you were anymore, so instead, you watched from the door as the car drove down the road before turning back inside and closing the door.

Normally, you would have shed tears and found yourself curled up in bed with your cellphone clenched against your chest, waiting for him to message you about his flight but this time you knew it was different. You felt like you could breathe. There was a sense of pain mixed with your relief—such a strange feeling that you couldn’t name.

Jihoon had waited half an hour to come over after Soonyoung had left for his flight. He had sent his texts to his best friend, wishing him a safe flight and all the usual pleasantries but at the heart of it, he was waiting to get back to you. It had been too long since he had seen your face in person and no matter how selfish he was feeling, Jihoon couldn’t make himself feel guilty about it anymore. You were his.

Using the key you had made for him, Jihoon unlocked your door and dropped his things on the side table before meeting your eyes from the couch, feeling relief wash over him. You were like a breath of fresh air.

“Hey, honey…”

Only when Jihoon speaks will your tears finally fall. You close your eyes and bring your hands up to cover your face, not wanting him to see you upset but he is the one who has seen you that way the most lately. Arms wrap around you and Jihoon kisses the side of your head as he whispers, It’s okay, only to feel you shake in his embrace. He isn’t sure what you are upset about, but it doesn’t actually matter. All that matters is that he’s going to make it better.

“They offered me a full position at the studio.”

Soonyoung sighed into his words as he looked down at his hand as Aimi slid hers into his. He wasn’t sure if he loved her but she felt nice. At least sometimes she did. Other times, she felt like guilt and regret, but today she felt like a friend and a lover.

“Are you gonna take it?”

She could be hopeful. For Aimi, this was starting to turn into love. She loved how Soonyoung looked at her sometimes and how he would hold her after he would fuck her into his mattress. Other times, she was reminded that she wasn’t you. She had no disillusion with who she was and what she was doing, but clearly Soonyoung wasn’t happy and neither were you.

Shrugging, Soonyoung leans back against his headboard, letting Aimi rest against his chest, her head against his jaw as he traces her fingers like she used to do with you. He missed moments like this with you, but he didn’t know you anymore. The woman he had fallen in love with was a million miles away, not just in distance but in other ways.

“Maybe…I dunno. I gotta talk to Y/N.” Shifting uncomfortably when he says your name, Soonyoung takes a deep breath and tightens his fingers around Aimi’s. “I go back home in a month. That’s when this job officially ends.”

Frowning to herself, Aimi looks out at the city skyline and says a silent prayer to herself that maybe Soonyoung will change his mind and stay. Maybe you will tell him to stay, but she keeps it to herself and only nods before meeting his eyes.

“Okay, well, whatever you decide, you know where I am.”

Soonyoung can hear the innocence in the girl’s voice and it almost makes him want to laugh. Not at Aimi or at her innocence but more at how, even in the situation, she seems so perfect. Brushing his lips over hers, Soonyoung takes in a breath of her perfume while at the same time letting it wash over his senses and push you further from his mind. She was right; he knew where she was but what he didn’t know was where you were.

You moan Jihoon’s name, only for him to swallow it with his kiss as his hands slide over your hips. Jihoon was enjoying the feeling of you sitting on his cock but each time you clenched around him, he felt like he was going to explode.

“Fuck, Y/N…”

Rolling your hips down over Jihoon, you dig your nails into his shoulders as he rests his head back against the headboard with a long, deep groan. You loved riding Jihoon, especially when you were at his place. Here were no pictures of Soonyoung, nothing you could accidentally make eye contact with as you asked for Jihoon to make you forget.

Jihoon was so good at making you forget. He was even better at making you want something different. Something that you didn’t think you could ever have because you belonged to someone else. Someone else was in love with you and you had made a promise to wait for him.

“Baby, if you don’t slow down, I’m gonna cum first.”

Shaking your head at Jihoon’s words, you feel his fingers dig into your hips as you whine against his jaw, not wanting to stop. Gritting his teeth, Jihoon groans your name once again before he feels himself unable to hold back anymore. You rest your forehead against his as you watch Jihoon’s mouth drop open and feel the warmth of his cum start to spill into you.

Catching his breath, Jihoon shakes his head with a wince, feeling you rock your hips over his softening cock. He knew you had a hard day and he didn’t mind letting you get out your frustrations in any way you wanted to but he still liked to make you feel good.

Lifting his hands, Jihoon shifts you back from him and cups your cheek to make you look at him as he licks his lips. You feel your cheeks instantly start to burn at his attention and his intense gaze, his eyes studying you as his fingers brush sweat from your temple.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Leaning your head back from him, you shake your head no, making Jihoon let out a disapproving breath. He knew there was a lot on your mind but he could only make you say as much as you were willing to. Running his thumb along your jaw, Jihoon nods, glancing towards his nightstand to see where your phone is plugged in. The light draws his eye but more so Soonyoung’s face, letting you know he is calling you.

“Soonyoung’s calling…”

Jihoon watches your eyes move to your phone and the way your body stiffens against his. You could ignore it; you had before in other circumstances but he hadn’t called today and you felt like you were made of glass.

A few more seconds pass before you slide from Jihoon’s lap and sit on the side of the bed before answering your phone. You swallow hard into your words, feeling Jihoon’s hand resting against your hip like an anchor.

“Hello?”

Soonyoung leans against his balcony door, glancing towards his bed, where Aimi sighs in her sleep as you finally answer your phone. You didn’t sound overjoyed to hear from him, but that was his usual greeting—it still hurt.

“Hey, baby. I just…”

You listen as Soonyoung scoffs into a sad laugh as you furrow your brows, trying to figure out how you are supposed to feel or respond. Shaking your head, you start to speak when he continues.

“Just—uh, I wanted to check in. Didn’t talk to you much today or yesterday. I mean, fuck, let’s be honest, we haven’t talked much since I got back.”

He wasn’t wrong. You could count the number of phone calls on two hands over the span of the last month and the text messages were not much better. Most were either one of you saying you were thinking of the other or checking in, but every time it felt like keeping up appearances.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I can try to do better if you want. I’ve just been busy, Soonyoung.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung bites at his lip when you try to apologize and come up with an excuse without actually giving any real excuse. He knew he wasn’t any better but once again, it still hurt.

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I’m busy, too. Always fucking busy, right? That’s us…”

Tears sting your eyes, making your vision blurry as you hear the hurt in Soonyoung’s voice. Closing your eyes, the tears fall over your cheeks, only for you to try to sniff them back as quietly as possible. Hearing your tears, Jihoon sits up, moving closer to you, trying to pull you back towards him, only for you to shake your head.

When Soonyoung hears you crying, his own tears finally fall. Nodding, he lifts his free hand to wipe at his cheek with a groan before sniffing back the tears and pushing off the wall.

“But I’ll be home in a month, right? So we can just see what happens. Right, Y/N?”

You can hear the hope in his voice layered with all that sorrow and it only serves to break your heart more as you shake your head and shrug. Licking the salty tears from your lips, you lift your arm to wipe away your own tears before making yourself calm down.

“Yeah, a month, Soonie.”

The name Soonie makes Soonyoung close his eyes and drop his head. It used to make him smile when you’d call him the cute name and tell him how much you loved him but now it feels like his heart is breaking.

“Okay…goodnight, baby.”

Leaning your head back, you take a breath, letting it out as you hear the finality in Soonyoung’s words. The tone of his voice makes you wonder how hard he will try to stay in touch before he shows up back at home.

“Night. I love—”

Hearing the phone disconnect before you finish your sentence tells you everything you need to know.

Jihoon couldn’t help but watch the days tick by. Never in his life could he remember a month going by as quickly as this one seemed to. He wanted to hold on to each and every minute he had left with this little life he had made up with you but every single day passing was a reminder that it was ending.

He wondered, selfishly, if he just told you how he felt if you’d tell Soonyoung what was happening and ask him not to come home. But then he’d be hit with guilt. That never stopped his feelings or the urge to tell you how much he cared about you.

Holding you in his arms, your arm draped over his stomach as you traced some design made up in your head on his forearm, Jihoon watched you under the moonlight. There was less than a week left before Soonyoung would be back, laying where he was now. The thought of it made his stomach twist and his heart feel like it was breaking.

“Y/N, honey…”

You smile softly at the pet name, your lips pulling up against Jihoon’s skin, before you glance up at him, seeing questions in his eyes. That look had been there for a while now but it was as if he were afraid to say anything, afraid you’d run away. Maybe now was the time, before there was no time left.

“What…well—what happens when Soonyoung gets home?”

Your smile fades at Jihoon’s question because that wasn’t what you thought he was going to ask. You weren’t sure what he was going to ask but you hadn’t expected it to be about Soonyoung. Swallowing hard, you lay your head back down and look out your window towards the sky as if some sort of answer lies in the stars but nothing helps.

“I–Jihoon…I don’t know. I guess things just…”

Lifting your hand from his arm, you gesture into the air, trying to express your words as Jihoon’s eyes follow them, but it only serves to confuse him and make his heart beat faster. Shaking his head, Jihoon shifts under you, making you sit up as he does. You tilt your head with a whine, feeling his hands on either side of your cheeks as his eyes search for yours.

“Guess things, what? Go back to how they were. Seriously, Y/N? Is that what you fucking want?”

Closing your eyes, you feel tears welling up in your eyes at the questions leaving Jihoon’s mouth. You knew what you wanted the answers to be but life wasn’t always that simple. Holding your face still but gently, Jihoon swallows back his emotion with a curse under his breath as he watches your tears stream down your cheeks.

“Baby...come on. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you still love him. I mean, fuck, look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me!”

Lifting your hands, you hold Jihoon’s wrists as you keep your eyes shut tightly to try to save yourself from hurting him or lying. When Jihoon whines your name, tears are evident in his voice. You just shake your head and finally meet his eyes.

“It’s not that simple, Jihoon! Fuck! I wish it was! I want it to be, but god, it’s just not!”

Dropping his hands into your lap, Jihoon blinks tears from his eyes as he nods, understanding what you are trying to say. You watch as he turns his head away from you and furrows his brows before taking his hands from you and sliding off the bed. Your heart tightens in your chest as you reach for his hand, only for Jihoon to move it from your reach.

“I’m gonna head home.”

You shake your head, moving to your knees on the bed, a whine of Jihoon’s name on your lips when he turns back towards you to take your face back in his hands. Leaning to rest his forehead against yours, Jihoon sniffs back his tears as you cling to his forearms and whisper that you don’t want him to go.

“I have to, honey. Things go back to how they were, right?”

Kissing you softly, Jihoon only lingers for a moment before he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves you watching him from your bed, tears streaming down your face. You listen to the sound of your front door opening and closing before emotion ripples through your body and you find you can’t hold yourself upright anymore.

There was heartache when it came to Soonyoung but this felt worse. Now the walls that had built up around you were shattering around you and there was no safety left from the storm. You knew you had created the storm—though you hadn’t created it alone—it was yours to name and it was yours to weather.

You had forgotten how little Soonyoung had taken with him to Tokyo when he had left a year ago. You listened to the sound of water running as Soonyoung took his shower just down the hall from where you stood, unpacking his suitcase, bit by bit.

There are so many memories attached to items and then there are so many new things that you don’t recognize at all. For the few hours that Soonyoung had been home, the conversation had been light. There had been discussion about what you had planned for dinner and how his flight had gone.

“Y/N…uh babe…”

Soonyoung’s voice pulls you back to the present as you glance over your shoulder to look at him, his towel around his waist, a look of confusion on his face as he moves further into the room. Swallowing hard, he laughs awkwardly before gesturing to his suitcase on the bed.

“I can do that. You don't... just leave my shit alone.”

Gently moving your hands from one of his shirts, Soonyoung pulls the suitcase closer to him. Taking a step back, you scoff at your boyfriend before shaking your head and running your hand over your hair. You could feel the tension thickening in the air even as you turned away, leaving him in the bedroom alone with his shit.

Soonyoung hadn’t meant to upset you, but he wasn’t used to you being in his space anymore. He was used to you going through his things anymore. Groaning under his breath as he listens to the sound of you opening and closing cabinets in the kitchen louder than necessary, Soonyoung works to get dressed before staring at his suitcases, trying to decide where to start.

The idea was simple, the task seemed impossible. Put the clothes away and live like he had never left. But that wasn’t going to be so easy in a place where he didn’t feel like he belonged anymore.

You weren’t looking for things to annoy you about Soonyoung; however, it seemed that everything did now that he was home. You were reminded that he frequently forgot to put down the toilet seat and that he didn’t always put the lid back on the toothpaste. So as you sat on the couch near him after a silent dinner, he could feel the chill in the air, making him finally pause the unwatched movie on the TV.

“I was watching that.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung turns to look at you, reaching for your hand, only to feel you start to pull away. He had expected it, but it still hurt. He was inches from you and he still felt like he was a world away.

“You weren’t, Y/N. You have been pissed off at me since I got out of the shower.”

Shrugging, you let Soonyoung run his thumb along your palm as he tries to calm you down, but all you can think about is how much you miss Jihoon and how it’s been days since he’s answered your texts. You can just feel how much your heart is in your throat because you can’t have him where Soonyoung is right now.

“No…I–”

“Just stop! I–fuck, Y/N! I’m home and it’s the same. I could be across the world and we’d be doing the same shit. So, when do we just stop? I can’t do this anymore. You–dammit…”

You stop talking as Soonyoung yells at you, his hand dropping yours as he leans back to run his hand over his face. You watch as tears collect in his eyes, all the emotion that he has been holding back rushing to the surface as he thinks about what he is doing and what it is going to mean. Gesturing towards you, Soonyoung feels like panicking and taking back his words before he even says them, but he already knows it’s too late.

“I fucked up. I…I–I slept with someone else, Y/N and I—”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung watches as your brows furrow and the tears that had been collecting in your eyes fall down over your cheeks. Lowering his head, he reaches back out for your hand, taking it into his before meeting your eyes and taking a breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry —”

“I don’t think that I love you anymore, Soonyoung.”

Your words cut off his, making Soonyoung stop suddenly. Perhaps he knew that you didn’t love him anymore but hearing it out loud felt like a bomb going off in his chest. You feel his hands tremble around yours as he lets out a shaky breath and nods, trying to form the right words only to start and stop making you speak up first.

“I slept with Jihoon. I–I’m in love with Jihoon. I’m sorry…”

Letting go of your hand, Soonyoung rubs his hand over his mouth when you confess what you have done to him. He knew the two of you had gotten close, and now knowing he wasn’t so crazy for being suspicious made Soonyoung’s heart drop into his stomach.

“What the fuck, Y/N…”

It’s you that reach out for Soonyoung’s hand, only for him to pull them away harshly, his eyes meeting yours with disdain before they soften slightly. He knew he was being hypocritical. He had done exactly what you had done but it felt worse because it was Jihoon. It felt personal because it was his best friend and his girlfriend.

“I thought...fuck, I don't know what I fucking thought. That I’d tell you what a fuck up I was, and you and I would start over.” Sighing into a groan, Soonyoung leans his head forward, feeling you run your hand over his cheek as he continues. “We both fucked up, Y/N. Real bad…”

Looking up to try to stop more tears, you only feel more fall and drip along your neck as you nod along with Soonyoung’s words. The truth was painful, but it was better than the lies that you had used to build up some fake security around yourself to hide from the pain.

“We just…we fell out of love, Soonyoung.”

Sitting in silence, seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to an hour before Soonyoung finally stands up and draws your attention with him. You watch as the man shrugs and wipes his tears from his cheeks before he holds out his hands as if laying out everything on the table.

“I was offered the job at the studio as a full-time position. I had told them I was going to think about it… but I–I’m gonna take it, Y/N.”

You can only nod as Soonyoung lets out a breath before shaking his head as if that’s all he has left to say and walks from the room, leaving you alone on the couch. The emotions you find are like waves in moments of extreme change. You are washed over with relief from telling the truth and then pushed back with pain from the end of a relationship, only to be washed over with the feeling of hope.

It was raining the morning that Soonyoung left for the airport and you were left with an extra set of keys. You had spent time walking around the rooms, picking up the last bits of your relationship. It seemed that with each picture you collected or each stuffed animal you put away, the rain would fall harder along with your tears, making you only think of one person.

Jihoon.

He didn’t know what had happened and you knew you had put him through enough. Just the thought of him as you moved into the kitchen, seeing the picture of the two of you at the farmer’s market, was enough to break your resolve and cause you to find yourself less than an hour later at his door, shivering from the rain.

The storm had only gotten worse throughout the day so hearing his doorbell and your voice calling his name from his door made Jihoon’s heart drop to his stomach. A list of reasons you could be at his door came to his mind as he made his way to you. Soonyoung had been in an accident, you had been hurt, something terrible had happened, or maybe just—no, you couldn’t be there for him.

Opening his door, Jihoon’s breath is taken away by seeing you after so many days, your hair and clothes soaked as you shiver from the rain. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you in and looked you over for any signs of injury but all he could find were your tears mixing with the rain on your cheeks.

“What are you doing, Y/N? Why…why didn’t you grab a coat or something? You’re gonna get sick…”

Shaking your head, you just smile, wrapping your arms around Jihoon’s neck, pulling him close to you, and making him take in a deep breath as you suddenly hug him. He could feel his clothes becoming instantly soaked, but he couldn’t find any reason to care as he wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you clung to him.

“I’m so sorry, Jihoon. I’m so stupid. I love you so much.”

Confusion is what hits Jihoon first when you tell him that you love him. He thinks he is hearing things but you say it again and Jihoon holds you even tighter before letting out a shaky breath.

“I love you too. Tell me what’s going on, honey.”

Letting Jihoon finally move away from you so he can look at your face once again, you lean into his touch as you recount the past couple of days. You explain the fight with Soonyoung and the confessions. Wincing at the idea of Soonyoung’s pain, Jihoon’s brows furrow as he runs his hand along your cheek before resting his forehead against yours.

“He’s right, we did this all fucking wrong, baby. I hate that it happened like this, but... I don’t regret it. I can’t…”

Nodding along with Jihoon, you grab at his shirt, pulling him back close to you as you tell him you love him again and claim your first kiss in days from him. Jihoon’s brows furrow deeply, feeling your lips on his, making him want more after missing you so much.

With a small grunt on your lips, Jihoon tugs you close and lifts you, letting you wrap your legs around his waist so he can carry you down the hall towards his bedroom. Hearing you whine into the kiss, he smiles and shakes his head, only to nip at your lips when he turns into the bathroom and places you on the counter.

“Stay right here…”

Jihoon smirks to himself upon hearing you whisper his name, your fingers clinging to his shirt even as he pulls away from you to lean into the shower, turning it on. You watch as steam starts to fill the room and as Jihoon tugs his shirt over his head before kicking his sweatpants off, leaving him bare in front of you. There was something different about seeing him now, his body on display for you as his blonde hair started to fall from its low bun. You knew he was yours and he was seeing you as his.

“Gotta get you outta those wet clothes, honey. You are gonna get sick; I don’t want that.”

Biting at your lip, you lift your arms as Jihoon tugs at your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. You close your eyes, leaning your head back and relishing the feeling of his soft lips pressing to the swell of your breasts over your bra as his fingers work the clasp loose.

“Mm, not gonna get sick, Hoonie. Oh, fuck…”

You whine out a moan, leaning back against the mirror, when Jihoon’s mouth wraps around your nipple, your bra falling to the floor. Smiling against your skin, Jihoon glances up even at such a close distance to watch your mouth fall open in a moan of his name as he uses his free hand to roll the other hardening bud between his index finger and thumb.

With a soft popping sound, Jihoon lets go of your breasts, moving from one to the other, letting you squirm on the counter with him between your thighs. Sliding your fingers over his arms and the other hand through his hair, you arch your chest towards Jihoon’s mouth as you mutter a quiet plea for more, telling him how much you missed him.

“Yeah? Did you miss me? How much?”

Fingers push into the top of your pants as you lift your hips, letting Jihoon work them down your legs. You try to articulate your words to let Jihoon know how much you missed him, but just incoherently mutters his name and please fall from your lips, making him smirk as his hands push your thighs apart, letting him see how wet you have gotten just from his teasing.

“Shit…You are so pretty. How am I gonna let you go home?”

Shaking your head, you meet Jihoon’s eyes as he moves down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter, pulling you to the edge. The warmth of his tongue running from your entrance to your clit sends a shockwave through your body. Your skin erupts with chill bumps and your toes point as you try to lift your hips from the counter.

Pushing your hips down with one arm, Jihoon groans to your taste as if committing it to memory just in case something were to happen again and he were to not get you back into his bed. Your fingers dig into his hair, feeling Jihoon’s mouth wrap around your clit, only for him to lap his tongue around the bundle of nerves, making your thighs shake.

“Don’t wanna…ah! Don’t wanna go home without you, Jihoon. Fuck!”

Your words almost cause Jihoon to pull back from what he is doing, but your hand keeps his head between your legs as your orgasm rips through you and your cum begins to drip on to his waiting tongue. Groaning at your taste, Jihoon uses his lips to pull at your soft folds, listening to the sounds of your whines as he overstimulates you until you start to close your thighs around his head. Only then does he smile against your pussy, placing one last kiss on your wet folds before standing back up to claim your lips, letting you taste yourself in his mouth.

Your words hadn’t gone by without him noticing, but Jihoon still had much on his mind and wanted in you. Feeling you gasp on his lips, Jihoon picks you up once more and walks with you into his shower, letting the door close behind him. You sigh against his lips as he puts you up against the tile wall, letting the warm water rain down over the both of you.

Smiling against your lips, Jihoon slides his hands along your legs, letting you stand on one, keeping the other at his hip as he speaks between kisses. You can only furrow your brows and let out a moan, feeling his cock slide into you slowly. The stretch is welcomed and intense as Jihoon pins you against the shower wall.

“You don’t want to go home without me?”

Shaking your head, you gasp, feeling Jihoon bottom out inside of you. Fingers scratch along the back of your leg towards your knee as Jihoon moves his kisses to your jaw and then your neck, leaving bites and marks on his way to your ear as you moan his name at your answer.

“Uh huh… miss you. Please, oh fuck… don’t stop.”

With your earlobe between his lips, Jihoon smiles, feeling you clench down on his cock when he thrusts into you hard and deep. He wasn’t in a rush. He wanted to feel every bit of you around him and he wanted to make sure you felt every inch of him as if he were made for you. Jihoon wanted to fill you full of him in every single way, even if he wouldn’t say it out loud to you in the moment, as his hand moved over your stomach, gently pushing down over your lower abdomen.

“I’m not gonna stop, baby… fuck…I wanna be this deep in you all the fucking time.”

Jihoon had dirty talk with you before, especially when you had asked him to be rough with you, but this was different. You could feel how deep he was inside of you and you could almost feel how true his words were. You wanted as much as he did. Laying your hand over his, you gasp as Jihoon’s eyes meet yours with a hard thrust, sending you over the edge once again.

“Good girl, good fucking girl. Cum for me, honey.”

Watching you fall apart for him was almost better than anything Jihoon could physically experience until your walls clenched around him like a vice. Your hips roll towards him and Jihoon is a goner. Any intention he had to hold back his own climax is gone as he groans your name and bites at your lips, pushing his cum into you with each thrust.

By the time you and Jihoon catch your breath, the water starts to go cold. Smiling on your lips, Jihoon slides his tongue against yours for one more deep kiss that makes your mind go blank before he has you on your own two feet once again.

You rely on him to keep you upright as he laughs when you start to complain about the cold water as he finishes cleaning between your legs. Jihoon just looks at you with love and wonder as he helps you out of the shower and wraps a towel around you, knowing you are his.

When you finally wake up in Jihoon’s bed a few hours later, you are happy to find him beside you, his arm under your head, as the moon shines through his window. Turning towards him, you can’t help the urge to run your fingers over his cheek and nose, making Jihoon flinch at your touch and open his eyes slowly to find you looking at him.

“Mm, why aren’t you still asleep, honey?”

Sliding closer to Jihoon, you let him hold you in his arms and press his lips to your forehead. The guilt that got you here washed away with the rain of the storm that you had created. He had weathered it with you and kept you safe even when you felt like you were drowning.

“Was just missing you. I love you, Jihoon.”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon shakes his head and sighs tiredly as you kiss his jaw. He was never going to get tired of hearing that.

“I love you too, honey.”

#seventeen smut #woozi smut #hoshi smut #svthub #svt smut #jihoon smut #soonyoung smut #seventeen angst #woozi angst #hoshi angst #svt angst #woozi x reader #seventeen x reader #hoshi x reader #jihoon x reader #soonyoung x reader #seventeen toxic #seventeen fluff

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faeriekit · 10 months

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Health and Hybrids (V)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and whatever prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and this is part five💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts

Where we last left off... Batman had a meeting! Danny acquired age appropriate enrichment toys. All is well. You know. Except for the everything else. But it’s fine and MM is on his way so it’ll all be great soon for sure! :)

Trigger warnings for this story: body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) | my awful attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

One…Morning? Evening?

Well. One day, Danny rediscovers his tongue.

Most of the muscle is there. Things taste better after he remembers how to taste.

(If everything tastes like iron, well…Danny tries to ignore that.)

Its main function is social. When Danny needs the quiet humans he can’t see to Shut Up or Go Away!, it is now within his power to blow a raspberry.

A slightly bloody raspberry. But still! A success! And when the fuzzy red human buzzes and whines about scaring them off, Danny blows it one too.

If all it does is make the human cry more, hey. That’s not Danny’s business.

The buzzy human comes back with its friends, with fresh sheets, spilling nervousembaras!sednervous all over the room.

Blech. Danny saves himself the trouble and phases through his bed and through the floor below. He does not need to be grabbed again.

He has more energy than he used to. It gets him farther than he’s used to; by the time he finds and works his way through an apple, a pear, and a whole plate of chicken wings, he’s still not sleepy.

…Huh. He rolls over underneath his usual haunt: a conference table. He isn’t feeling the urge to drop into his core. He’s achy, sure, and his limbs hurt and his mouth hurts from eating and he can’t see, but also…

Is Danny bored? Is he finally well enough to be bored of being sick and injured?? That’s. Is that progress? Is it…regression??

Danny sulks under his conference table (his now) with a pile of chicken bones and a few stems and doesn’t know what to do.

If he goes back to his bed…will the sheets already be done? Will people be waiting to get him? Did he lose his…ugh, he doesn’t want to think of them as toys. His…enrichment? Educational tools?

…Okay they might be toys. Whatever. When Danny feels better, he’ll grab something more age appropriate. Maybe he’ll get them from his—

Danny flinches.

…From his house.

If he can get there.

Whatever. He doesn’t want to think about that right now. He wants to figure out how to get rid of his trash without revealing his location. Or leave his conference table shelter.

Danny drums his claws against the low-pile carpet that stretches below him. Should he stay? Rest up? Wait for the threats to his admittedly-kinda-pathetic territory to leave? Should he…go get more food? Should he explore more? He feels all kinds of sore and tired but his head mostly feels clear. Maybe if he—

There’s a hissing noise. Danny bristles. He hisses in like, but—oh. It’s a door.

…Oh. It’s the door.

Uh oh. That’s um. That’s.

Uh oh.

Danny quickly pretends that he hadn’t hissed. He invisibly pushes the top of his head through the thick wood of the conference table. They shouldn’t be able to see anything if he peeks.

Well. Unless they can? But if they can, that’s. Uh. That’s a whole new problem.

Several tall, colorful, adult humans walk into the room. He can’t quite tell how many. Just a bunch. And they’re tall. But hey, they’re color coordinated for easier determination, at least.

Danny lowers himself back down through the table. Should he leave? Will they see him if he tries to leave? Can they spot him?

He sits and worries and he dithers as the humans slowly surround the table and the hidden ghost underneath. Should he…should he go through the floor? Will they know he’s there? Is it even safe to get back to his cot yet?

Feet start appearing underneath the table. Danny shies away from them. He pulls his chicken bones away from them too; if they step on one, they might notice him.

Then everything gets quiet. There’s only one quiet, droning voice.

So maybe Danny peeks again.

There’s a giant shadow at the front. It’s probably human. It has black arms and black legs and a patch of what is probably skin in his very fuzzy vision. It stands beside a lit screen.

Danny squints.

…Oh. He can’t quite tell what it’s about, or what’s exactly is being shown on the screen, but he knows what a powerpoint presentation is supposed to look like: a person, a lot of talking, a screen, and a lot of people listening. They’re just…talking. They’re not even talking about Danny.

Okay. He’ll rest under the table. It seems…safe enough for now.

It’s better to listen to human heartbeats and breathing in a room than it is to sit in his silent one, waiting for some new horror to break the everpresent quiet. Danny lays on his belly, nose to the carpet, and counts how many feet are under the table. (There are sixteen feet.) Some humans are wearing real shoes, with inch-thick soles of hard rubber at the bottom. Some are wearing things that look like shoes, but are too flexible, with soft soles that bend and curl as they flex under the table. Very few of them have laces or fixtures. Huh.

A wrapper falls. Danny watches the ball of foil flutter to the floor, at peace with his position, tired of inspecting shoes. And then a face pops down.

Danny freezes. (It’s not the smartest move.)

The face that popped down probably sees him back, considering how still it goes. And then, very slowly, so slowly, a hand reaches down. Danny flinches back, and—

…It grabs the wrapper. The adult carefully gets back up. The face disappears.

Danny doesn’t move. Danny doesn’t leave. Danny doesn’t breathe.

He waits. The human slowly goes back to tapping its toes, wiggling in its seat—and vibrating, in a way that says bored/bored/bored the way the younger human sometimes does.

…No one says anything. No one does anything. No one jumps under the table to get him, there isn’t a break in the speaker that indicates identifying Danny as Present, or as A Problem. Danny is simply…hidden.

He should leave. It would be smart to leave. Danny would be safer if he left.

But also.

Maybe.

This might be the first time he’s been so close to humans in so long.

They don’t know he’s here. It should be…safe. If he just. Listens to the indistinct sound of human voices. Let them wash over him, like a radio left on in the other room.

Danny’s sated. He’s achy. He’s bored. He’s sad. He’s lonely.

…He stays.

He doesn’t notice his humming or the quiet purr in his chest before the hand comes back down again. Danny flinches away from it, the hum guttering to a stop where it had laid.

There’s something about its hand. The hand came down, before, but now there’s something more to it. Another color—a darker color. It’s hard to tell in the shadow underneath the desk. Maybe a—green? A blue? Maybe?

The hand shifts, just a little. And then the thing comes flying at him. Danny jolts backwards, digging his claws into the mere millimeters of carpeting underneath him, and—

Oh. The thing isn’t moving. It hasn’t even exploded.

Danny reaches out a hand. Taps it, gently. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t attack him. It doesn’t excrete anything acidic or bite him. He sniffs it, just to be doubly sure, and nope. It smells like plastic. The wrapper crunches under his hands, even when everything sounds mute and muffled. The noise is borderline imaginary, so Danny can’t exactly tell what it sounds like when he plays with the little plastic flaps.

He can tell what it is now, though. The food bar goes down whole, wrapper and all, into his gullet.

Nice. The outside tastes bad, of course, but it’s nice.

The hand goes away, and no one bothers Danny. It’s nice. There are voices, but they aren’t yelling. They aren’t mean to him. They aren’t talking about what his insides look like or how bad he is or how to take more pieces off of him.

…Danny’s core thrums evenly. Peacefully. Maybe he will want that nap after all. His body gets kind of grouchy when it comes to plastic. He can pretend that it isn’t grumpy with his improvised diet with a nap.

Danny curls up on the floor, core beating along with the quick and even taptaptaptaptap fluttering of a too-quick human heart, and settles in for a quiet one.

(When he wakes up again, no one is around to see him throw out his chicken bones in the tiny trash receptacle by the doorway.)

(His toys and new sheets are all there when Danny gets back to his cot.)

(He’s too relieved to do anything but take a second nap.)

“So,” Wally tries, leaning against the wall. “The… Alien? Extraterrestrial?”

Barry shrugs. Fishes a cheeto out of his bag. “Bart’s been calling it a ghoul. They crashed half a mile off the Kent farm a little after you popped out of the Speedforce; there’s a huge chance something happened to them as part of the temporal anomaly.”

“Happened as in…?”

“Yeah.” Barry takes another cheeto. “Bad.”

And theeeere is the visible guilt. There isn’t exactly any great way for Wally to feel after his unintentional resurrection led to an unintentional…something else.

“…Ah.”

Barry shrugs. There isn’t anything they can do about it; short of rewinding time and shoving Wally back into the Speedforce, which has been shoved off the table with a great deal of force by all of the man’s former teammates, there’s no way to undo the accident that landed the poor alien smacking straight into good-old-fashioned American dirt.

“Don’t worry about the way it happened. It wasn’t your fault, and it sure wasn’t intentional on your part,” Barry points out, and offers the bag of Cheetos towards Wally. The snack is gone in microseconds. The curse of speedsters is really footing the bill of all their emotional eating.

“So, they’re…do we know what they are? Because they definitely shapeshifted fangs as soon as I found their little—whatever that is. Container? Unit? Under the table.” Wally traces the vague shape of the thing’s cerulean heart in the air. “One second I was holding a glass paperweight, and the next I was on the opposite end of a very angry shadow-snake. I think they would have done worse than bit me if it hadn’t had a clear escape route out of there.”

Barry balls the empty bag and shoves it into a pocket. If he litters in the Watchtower, it’s going to be water cooler gossip for years. Bats would never let anyone defile his super cool, super-secret base with garbage without his own form of petty revenge. “Medical says it likely serves as an organ for him,” he says instead, since monologue about how inconvenient it is to be held responsible for his own actions wouldn’t be professional. “So. Think of it less as a container; think of it more as a turtle shell. Medical is pretty sure it’s a part of their body. Messing with it would really hurt them.”

“Yeowch.”

“Mmhmm. One micro-sec.” Barry darts out and away from his nephew; he just remembered he has bottled smoothies in his room. In the time it takes him to fetch two from his mini-fridge—one of his favorite flavor and one of Wally’s—and circle back, the dust motes in the air have hardly even realized he’s gone. They hardly drift even upon his return. “Here.”

Wally catches it easily. To anyone else, Barry would barely have blinked away. To any other Speedster…Barry knows intimately how lethargic and thick time feels against his skull. Slowing down to a mortal, human speed can feel maddening. Sore. Viscerally and bone-shatteringly wrong in his skin, maybe.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Barry would do that and more for his family.

They drink their smoothies.

“You know,” Barry breaks back in, the thoughts of their previous conversation looming lightly in his mind, “Medical says that the fact that we sometimes see their—let’s call it a core—is really, really bad. It’s not a shock that they’re hiding. It would be like climbing in a closet when you’re so vulnerable that you don’t feel like you can defend yourself.”

The rim of Wally’s smoothie bottle drops from his lips. The man frowns. “Oh?”

Barry shrugs. “Imagine losing your skull so that your brain is exposed all the time. Imagine being a cell and having your cell wall break so your nucleus is exposed?”

They both wince at the image.

“Oh boy. And Bart is…playing? With that entity?”

His uncle snorts. “You tell me. I think you’ve seen more of them than I have at the moment. All I did was catch them hanging out in a conference room. I have to admit, the purring can get a little loud in the…” he makes a vague gesture that could mean anything from room to atmosphere to Speedforce.

Wally’s been mostly of the same mind—the physics of the entity, whatever they are, aren’t specifically third-dimensional. It might be related to how they only sometimes manifest, or how they manifest with only partial corporeality.

“It’s been at least some play and some games for him, I’m sure,” Wally admits, a smile pulling at his mouth nevertheless. “I spotted him going through a stim toy website before he suddenly and mysteriously had a mission on the other side of the planet. But I think most of his concern is the…”

Wally winces at the thought of the myriad of medical issues the entity’s faced since his arrival to Earth. Barry’s wince stretches to match. They both saw the report.

“…So it’s been a lot of food on Bart’s part. A lot of managing his care of them too; Superboy and Rob aren’t the most straightforward team in the world, but I think they’re largely keeping Bart in check on this one— not that they’re on base as much as Bart is.”

Wally smiles. It’s not a very happy smile, or very relieved of his earlier guilt, but it’s a smile nevertheless. That’s fine. Barry’ll work on the rest on Sunday; they’re due for a good luncheon out somewhere nice. Their JLA-approved food budget can foot the bill. Maybe…Indian? There’s got to be good food in Delhi they haven’t tried yet.

“At least J’onn’s back on base next week.” Wally sighs, crooked and a little weary. “Maybe this will finally get them to stop running every time someone gets within forty feet of them. Like, they realize they’re losing vital fluids, right? Wait, is Bart even giving them any water?”

“…I’m going to hold off on that worrying thought. I have a different one I’m sweating over. Do we even know if Bart will let our resident telepath get within forty feet of his new playmate?”

Wally groans, face in his hands. Barry can’t help but laugh a little—perhaps tinged with desperation.

Sidekicks. Always with the new problems. At least last time they had this problem, Kon could talk.

#The speedster clan is all here baby #and they are all Deeply Concerned #how they show their concern varies. But hey! They Care #and Caring is what matters :)#Bart Wally and Barry: hey can we get this one before Bats can? Yeah. Yeah! Let's try it #health and hybrids #Danny Phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dcu crossover #faer fic #tw body horror #tw gore #tw medical #cryptid!au #spooky lad

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httpknjoon · 11 months

Text

(re)starting over again | kth; 10

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 4.3k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | oh my god. hi, everyone! i'm still alive haha i apologize for the *long* delay. may wasn't my month 🙃 but now, i'm here and I split this chapter, so expect a 10.5. this is A LOT OF ANGST. no fluff for now. just full-on gloomy. also, i'll be replying to everyone who sent their asks soon! tysm for sending 'em. again, i apologize for the delay! enjoy reading :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Someone’s a little gloomy today.

The sound of echoing thunder woke you up today, along with the rings of your alarm in your phone. 5:15 AM. You groaned as the brightness from your phone’s screen hit your vision. After five more minutes of just staring at the most uninteresting wall in your room, you get up from your bed to prepare for work.

Unsurprisingly, your head feels heavy and so is your chest and eyes. Every step of your bare foot on the ground strangely felt like you were floating into space. The weather is cozy and cold, but you didn’t even flinch when the cold water hits your skin. You stood under the shower, the heater not even on, just staring at your feet.

I mean, he could have told me.

The sentence popped into your head. There is this part of you that is in between the scale of angry and sad after knowing about Lily visiting the bakeshop and talking to Taehyung. You wondered if Taehyung even had planned on telling you or if he don’t think he should have told you. You are starting to think he was only friendlier with you these past few days because he learned what happened between him and Lily. You’re beginning to think that he is only nicer to you now after bad their relationship went.

But did he even owe me that? I’m basically a stranger to him.

Another idea, opposite the other one, crossed your mind. You always try to be understanding and put yourself in his shoes in this confusing situation. The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t really have any idea who you are always staying in the back of your head. It’s always there as a reminder that Taehyung doesn’t know you. And his not telling you that he met up with his ex-girlfriend days ago confirmed that you are probably someone in the background for him. Someone… who suddenly lives in this house with him.

And thanks to that confirmation, more questions were formed by your brain.

You shut your eyes close and turned your head up, feeling the waterdrops on your face. Sighing, “Who even am I here?”

Taehyung, what am I even to you here?

The question floats in Taehyung’s head over and over again. The pain and confusion in your voice also play on a loop, adding weight to his shoulders and thorns in his throat. He wished he could answer that question easily, but he can’t. Seeing someone who treated him with care and kindness break down in front of him because of him is a slap on his face.

Because Lily is your girlfriend… right?

More guilt built up in him when he learned that you were aware that he still initially saw Lily as his girlfriend after he woke from the accident. It surprised him to hear you say that you cannot be mad with that. When you said that, he almost instantly wanted you to be angry at him, to let out every emotion you were feeling at the time.

Because you are too considerate and kind… and patient with him and this situation you’ve been put into. You didn’t even have to stay; you could’ve just left him the moment the doctor told you about his amnesia and all. But you stayed… and even looked after him for a whole month. Looking back at everything now, he knew. He should have just told you.

He thought you would be mad at him for reaching out to an ex. He didn’t know how you would react if he asked about Lily. He didn’t know you and he admit that was his fault. He has been working on knowing you these past few days, but now after last night, it felt too late. He should have made an effort earlier than this. As much as he hates it, Taehyung’s list of should haves is getting longer.

Now, a tray of chocolate chip cookies bakes in this oven you two have in your kitchen. He decided to make some after having trouble sleeping. He was shifting and turning on his bed for hours, possibly because of two causes: his head injury and you. Earlier, you were talking about how much you’ve been craving cookies. He knows that his cookies cannot resolve what’s going on right now, but he hoped that they will make you feel better. Even a little.

Taehyung managed to sleep for a couple of hours but still woke up later two hours past midnight. He quietly prepares and bakes the ingredients for the cookies. He was quick as it was the easiest pastry he can make. By the time he was putting the tray in the oven, he heard grumbles of thunder.

Should I put it in the jar? Or…

Almost thirty minutes past three, Taehyung yawned as he waited for the cookies to cool down before he stores them. He looked around your kitchen. In these quiet moments, he is finally starting to notice some details in some corners of this place. Particularly, the kitchen. He wondered if he picked the color of the walls or what to put in it when you two bought the house. His curiosity begins to grow about what you built together throughout your four-year relationship.

He wondered how great everything was before he lost his memories of the last five years.

You were supposed to leave at six o clock. But you didn’t realize how much you took your time with your thoughts that you ended up leaving twenty minutes late than your plan. Rushing to leave, you didn’t bother for breakfast and ran straight to the front door in your scrubs and jacket with backpack and umbrella in hand. If you still have time to spare when you arrive at the hospital, you’ll just buy something in its cafeteria.

As you get off the bus, you speed-walk to the hospital. You were too in a hurry to recognize who greeted you along the way, but you just greeted them back anyway. By the time you reached the locker room, you were catching your breath with less than ten minutes left to prepare for your shift.

Thank God, Jisoo’s not here. You sighed when you looked at yourself in front of the small mirror in your locker. Your eyes… were puffy. It’s not that bad. But everyone who will look directly at your eyes would tell the difference. You hoped no one else would notice.

“Good morning!”

Your eyebrows raised. Julia’s jolly greeting filled the quiet room when she entered. A couple of nurses who were also there greeted her back while you hid behind your locker door, trying to think of a quick remedy or even an explanation for your eyes. Because next to Jisoo, Julia is your closest friend here. She started working here two years ago. Her kind and sociable nature made her a friend to everyone. You three immediately went friends during a mutual graveyard shift schedule.

“Hey, YN. Good morning.” she opened her locker, which was next to yours.

You gulped, “Good morning, Ju.”

After one last look in the mirror, you closed the door. Julia was busy organizing her things in the locker, while she continues speaking.

“Jisoo’s already on break for her wedding, right?” she asked, still not giving you a glance.

“Ah, yes. For only one week though.” You replied, trying to act normal. You don’t know if you should go or wait for her to time in since you two usually do—with Jisoo if your shift schedule match up.

“You know, my dress for the weekend is still in the— Oh, what happened?”

In a quick glance, she immediately spotted a certain emotion on your face. Concern was written all over her face as she stopped and faced you.

“W-What?” you chuckled awkwardly, looking away.

“Why did you cry? What’s going on?” she asked softly, still worried. “Are you okay?”

Oh, that question. You don’t know what the hell that question has, it always breaks you down. You bit your lower lip as you looked back at Julia. You tried to hold on to the strings that were putting you together.

You sighed shakingly, “Yeah.”

A small, sad smile formed on her lips, “You sure?”

You feel like if you try to say anything again, it will just turn into a sob. So, you just nod. Unexpectedly, she reached out her arms and hugged you. Julia knew something was wrong. Well, she can definitely read through your eyes and the simple quirk of your lips that you probably don’t know you do whenever you’re bothered or tired. She can even feel the weight you’ve been carrying in an embrace.

“How about let’s go out together later? After this shift?” she offered.

“Sure.” You agreed, washing down any effort to put a useless mask on your emotions.

The cookies that he left on the kitchen counter for you were left untouched. He left it in a Tupperware, something that can fit in your backpack, along with a small post-it, written: cookies u can bring @ your shift today :)

He likes to think that the Tupperware probably went unnoticed by you instead of thinking that you ignored it. But what if you did? The idea of you being mad at him scares him.

“I swear, whoever will eat those cupcakes would choke on rainbow sprinkles.” Jimin entered the kitchen when Taehyung was just spacing out. He hung his coat behind the door and put on his apron. “What’s up?”

“Hmm?”

Jimin went on, “I arrived twenty minutes late and you already made two batches of blueberry cupcakes, one tray of snickerdoodles, and a lot of banana bread. What’s going on?”

Taehyung stared at him for a second, having battles in his head if he should tell his best friend about what happened. Jimin didn’t fail to remind him about telling you about Lily. And if he learns how you reacted last night—Oh, just sucked it up. Taehyung exhaled.

“YN learned about Lily.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow, “You told her?”

“She found through Lily herself,” Taehyung replied and he can read the confusion on his friend’s face.

“Huh?”

Taehyung went on telling how you and Lily introduced yourselves, how you introduced yourself as his friend, how Lily shared that she visited the bakeshop just last week, and how you remained quiet and bottled up with emotions until you two went home.

“She was so upset, she didn’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung recalled. “But she just broke down and she is still so nice in the middle of telling me how she feels. She told me that she cannot be mad at me for meeting up with Lily or for everything else. Because she understands. She always understands and I’m sure she is a wonderful person– but… But I really didn’t just give us a chance. She reminded me that we also happened after asking me who is she in this whole thing.”

He paused, remembering almost every word you said to him last night. He was too busy chasing what happened five years ago that he ignored someone and something important in his present time.

“Then, who is she to you?” his best friend asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Taehyung sighed, unsure. “But she’s not a stranger. Calling her a stranger would be an insult. I know she’s much more than that.”

There was a few seconds of silence. Taehyung looked down, resting his hands on his working table. Jimin just pats his shoulder for comfort. He knew saying things like I told you so or anything close to that is just useless. Taehyung already knew what he had done, he don’t need more reminders that he probably fucked up.

“Well, you need to figure that out.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know anymore, Ju.”

You wiped off the tears on your cheek as you confessed. Finally, after a whole day shift at the hospital, you get to open up to someone. As soon as you two left the hospital and changed into your casual clothes, Julia drove you two to her apartment since you don’t really feel like going anywhere. She ordered pizza and non-alcoholic drinks, which were delivered just minutes after you two arrived there.

No time was wasted. She didn’t even have to ask again for you to open up. For the last forty minutes, you’ve been telling whatever you feel like sharing to your friend. It did take off some weight on your chest as she listened and nods.

“I mean, I know that he’s just trying to know what happened between him and his ex. But I cannot understand why he didn’t tell me… Or maybe ask me about it. I know something about it. He told me how they broke up years ago. He told me what went wrong. Just like how I shared experiences with my past relationships too. And that’s how it used to be.” You reached for another tissue Julia offered. “We used to tell each other everything. Communication and honesty always mattered to him.”

“And it would have been nice if he let me know about his plans on talking with Lily. It’s perfectly fine by me. But he didn’t and now I’m starting to feel that he sees me as nothing. Just a person around him, who lives in the same house as him—or worse, he sees me as someone who just looks after him… like his nurse.”

The last thought squeezed your heart out. Taehyung even had a hard time introducing you yesterday to Lily. You took the initiative to introduce yourself to his ex as his friend. You don’t know what to feel about it. Should you be mad or sad? But can you blame him? You can never blame Taehyung. You always try to understand what he went through with that accident and what he is going through now. But as much as you hate to admit it…

“I feel like I’m burning out. I’m fucking drained.”

Another tear rolled down your cheeks while you shake your head. Saying that sentence felt like a confession of a crime. You don’t know why. You didn’t follow with another sentence again. Julia gave you a glass of water to help you calm down.

“You can take a break too, you know?” she whispered as you gulped in the liquid down your throat. “You can pause…”

Julia was gentle with her tone and choice of words.

“I think, you've already done enough. You took a month's leave to take care of Taehyung, to at least help him adjust to these big changes happen. You waited for him to ask about you or your relationship, which he did– Well, he tried. You are great. You were nothing caring and understanding for him and your relationship.” She paused and held your hand, preparing you for what she is about to say. “But he… he just has his eyes on people he knew before you.”

You almost hissed with the harsh sentiment of your friend. It felt like someone pulled the band-aid off your fresh, unhealed wound. But still, it felt like you needed to hear that. Julia, on the other hand, saw you flinch and held your palm tighter.

She continued, “The Taehyung you met before the accident is different from the Taehyung you live together now. As you said, five years ago, he went through a breakup with his ex. That breakup may have caused changes in him that made him into the Taehyung you initially met.”

It’s complicated. But you get what she is trying to say. A lot of things happened in Taehyung’s life before you two crossed paths. He broke up with Lily, and his bakery began to hit success and invest in other stuff in his life. A lot of other changes happened. Then, you two met through mutual friends.

“And please, YN, let yourself feel things.” Julia spoke suddenly, making you meet her gaze, “It’s unhealthy. Be sad, be mad, or be happy. Or simply take a break if you feel like it. Don’t deny yourself of feeling anything. You can be mad.” She said it like a reminder. “You have every right to feel so. I know you’re trying to justify Taehyung reaching out to an ex behind your back as part of this knotty situation. But at least, out of respect to you, he should have at least told you before or after he did so.”

“That’s why you’re so burnout right now, hon. You’ve done nothing but give and give. You forgot about your limits too… Are you even still okay working in the same hospital after everything?”

She asked and almost instantly, you remembered the night of the accident. You were waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up in the same spot you always waited in. Then, you received this call. Next thing you know, you’re seeing him getting pulled out of the ambulance. Bloody and bruised. Your stomach twisted with the recollection of his state that night. Thankfully, Julia called your name, snapping you out of your trance.

“Just know that you’re not alone in any of this. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Jisoo and I are always here for you. And I really appreciate you opening up to me now.” She smiled softly before pulling you in for another hug.

After that hug, you two moved on to lighter topics. You asked her about her preparation for Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day at the end of the week. She talked about Chanyeol, her plus-one for the wedding. She shared about how things are going and you’re genuinely happy to see her happy. You ended up leaving at seven. Julia offered to drive you home, but you kindly refused, saying you need to be alone for a short while.

“Okay, just let me know when you got home.” She smiled and of course, was enveloped in the warmest hug you’ve ever received recently.

Just like when you left home earlier, the sky was dark and gloomy as you wait at the bus stop. Raindrops began falling just minutes after you got on the bus. You sat on the farthest empty seat your eyes spotted. Watching the raindrop rolling on the glass window, you thought about Julia and everything she said.

Change.

You wondered if change can help your emotional burnout while leaning your head on the cold surface of the vehicle. Truthfully, working in the same hospital after the accident is difficult. The first day you returned after your month-long leave you found yourself stopping in your tracks at every spot your feet took you that night of the accident. You also don’t enjoy the pity glances or smiles you get from your colleagues who knew about the accident. There were times, someone would approach you and say something nice or motivational. You appreciate the effort but it’s making your work more of a reminder than a distraction for what happened.

You get off the bus with a new idea and even more uncertainties in mind. You still felt like a deflating balloon floating your way to get home. After your breakdown, you wonder how Taehyung would react. He seemed pretty quiet last night. The Taehyung you know would prefer talking with you to at least mend these issues. But now, you’re really just tired and would rather organize your thoughts alone.

And when you walked up your front porch, you stopped as you saw the lights on in the kitchen. He’s home early. You turned the knob, preparing yourself with any awkward tension that is always suffocating. Walking in, a delicious smell of flavor filled your nostrils. You’re not planning to say anything but then, he greeted you.

“Oh, hey…”

It was short but soft. His lips formed a small, tight smile. He was indeed cooking as he holds a wooden spatula and you can hear the crinkling sound in the pan. You noticed he is wearing a familiar apron and a headband, exposing his forehead, to avoid his jet-black hair in sticking on the sweaty corners of his forehead.

“Hey.” you greeted back, forcing a polite smile on your lips. “You’re home?”

Taehyung noted the lack of any emotion in your voice or even eyes. You just looked exhausted. But he replied, “Yeah, we kinda closed early. Sold out.”

He smiled again, hoping that maybe you would smile back at him. You didn’t. Instead, you zipped your lips. And there it is. The awkward silence took over--not only the kitchen—but the whole house. He looked at you and you looked at him. It didn’t even last a couple of seconds. You looked away again, scratching your eyebrow.

“I should probably go—”

“I’m making dinner. Maybe—"

You two broke off the silence at the same time. You waited for him to continue but his nod asked you to resume.

“Yeah, uhm, I should go to my room.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. You just can’t.

It’s Taehyung’s turn to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhm, I made dinner. I was wondering if we can eat together.”

You timidly shake your head, “I’m kinda full… I had pizza with Julia. But thank you for the offer though.”

You were about to leave, wanting to leave this room since you were having the hardest time breathing with the thick tension. But Taehyung called your name,

“I was hoping we can talk… about everything.”

You turned around, finally looking at him. Suddenly, his heartbeat was louder than anything else for him. He can already see the rejection on your face. Like you’re not in the mood for anything that had to do with him. But he wishes his deduction is wrong. On the flip side, you can see his fingers fiddling with the spatula as he said that.

You exhaled, “I can’t, Taehyung. I really had a long day. I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. We can talk whenever you’re ready.” He awkwardly raised his hands for thumbs-up. He saw your worried eyes landing on the dish he cooked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll store it when it cools down. You can microwave it later if you get hungry.”

A simple, worn-out nod was your only reply before leaving him alone. His smile slowly fades as he turned down his chin.

He waited. Patiently. The morning after that, he waited for you to leave for work before he does. He goes home before you do. He prepared breakfasts and dinners for you, but you always seemed to be running late going to work and exhausted when you get home. And the rainy season didn’t stop. Taehyung once offered to walk you at least to the bus stop when you had a graveyard shift. He’s glad you didn’t decline and walked side by side with him under the umbrella.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You murmured in the middle of that five-minute walk to the bus stop. You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied, glancing at you, hoping that he will meet your eyes. But he didn’t.

You didn’t say anything anymore. Even when you got on the bus and he handed you the extra umbrella he brought. But he really did. Even though you two haven’t really done a lot of activities together, he liked doing things with you or for you.

Now it’s been days since you broke down, you two still haven’t talked about it. Jimin told him to be patient and give you time. But the more time he gives you, the more he felt like you were already slowly drifting away from him.

“Are you sure? We still have space for another passenger.”

Taehyung heard you from the living room as he pulled his small luggage out of his room. He wore a white collared button-down, with the sleeves folded before it reached his elbows, tucked in beige suit pants.

“Okay, Ju. See you there. Take care.”

Your smile fades as you ended the call. With every emotion washed out on your face, you glanced up at him. Your eyes simply scanned him from head to toe before you spoke, “Let’s go?”

Jisoo and Namjoon will be having their rehearsal and the following dinner in the same area as their wedding. It’s in the same event place as their wedding venue. The couple already prepared rooms for a few guests, so that you can stay overnight for the wedding tomorrow. You, Taehyung, and Jimin will be carpooling in a rented car, with Jimin taking the wheel for an almost two-hour drive straight to the dinner event.

“Be careful, it’s fragile.”

You teased Jimin as he helped you carry the wedding gift for your soon-to-be-wedded friends. Taehyung carried yours and his luggage to the car.

“I am careful.” Jimin scoffed.

“Oh, I apologize. I’m just worried. You do have small hands.” You jested that made Taehyung choke and laugh.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” His best friend laughed dryly, squinting his eyes at you. “You two are bullies! It’s not that small.”

You chuckled once again before stopping when Taehyung opened the backseat door for you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled.

Taehyung sat on the passenger seat while Jimin took the wheel. In the first quarter of the ride, you still managed to join chit-chat. Jimin was the one who sparked up topics, which you were grateful for as you don’t know what would happen if it’s just you and Taehyung in this car. But as time went on, you yawned and slowly lost yourself to take a nap.

a/n: i'm thinking of updating/resetting the taglist for this series. kindly comment below if you still want to be tagged. thank you so much for your support <3

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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [closed] @halesandy @boohoobabe @hopeonysus @taffyteffy @pnlpbnl @arusio @rpkth @cinnamonruts @xyahrinx @betysotelo18 @sugaslittlekookies @doublebunv @dahliasbouqet @lust-kth @aria-grace-scott @milkteallday @hoodalmighty @kiwuki @http-fayeradise @daydreamiies @starlight-night0 @chaoticbisous @mageprincess7 @byunniebaekhyunnie @hiimnothing @koreanaestheticc @shin-ie @blancflms @jeonkoookiee @satorinnie @rjsmochii @yoonglesdoll @somewhereinthestarss @turnthepageandbeburnt @heyjiminnie @bri-mal @teddybeartaetae @kaal-ee @nikkiordonez12 @motivatedprocastinator @butterflieshee @iamkookiesforyou

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#bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts series #bts imagine #bts au #bts amnesia #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung au #taehyung amnesia #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #restarting over again kth

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parkerslatte · 1 year

Text

Songbird || TWENTY-FOUR

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

Part Summary: Twenty years after the infamous Chicago show, the band reveal what they did after they split.

previous chapter

Series Masterlist

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•••

TRACK TWENTY—FOUR;

LOOK AT US NOW

…

ROD REYES: Next morning, we were waiting on the bus.

KAREN SIRKO: I remember thinking it would be okay. We’d been through hell, but we were the other side of it now.

ROD REYES: I mean, I’m trying to figure out how to tell everybody Daisy’s leaving. And then I see Eddie.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: Y/N left the night before and I knew I had to let her leave and it was the hardest thing for me to do. I left the next morning, I couldn’t get back on that bus if she wasn’t there.

ROD REYES: The irony is, the chosen ones never know they are chosen.

KAREN SIRKO: I wanted to be a rock and roll star. To travel the world and play music for strangers. And that’s what I did, it’s what I still do.

GRAHAM DUNNE: I moved back home to Hazelwood. I fell in love and started a family. I have a wife and kids now who are my whole world. I’ve got Karen to thank for that. I’d probably still be pining after her if she hadn’t been brutally honest with me that night.

KAREN SIRKO: I mean, I told him what he needed to hear. But I wasn’t being honest with him.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I went and formed my own band, we weren’t bad, just, you know.

WARREN ROJAS: I’ve been a session drummer for years now. I mean, I’ve been on some…some records, you know? Classics. I married Lisa back in ‘82, still can’t believe she said yes. No one asks me to sign their tits anymore but, that’s okay….Actually, that’s not true, Lisa sometimes, she’ll, you know, just to be nice.

SIMONE JACKSON: Bernie and I, we opened this club. It’s ours and we play it all, whatever gets you up and moving. Sometimes I even get up there myself. Still brings the house down.

ROD REYES: I quit the business once and for all after that. I was heartbroken when they fell apart. More than I’d been with any other band, I just… didn’t think I could take another blow, you know? Get your heart broken enough times, you stop falling in love. Except, no, you don’t. But that’s a story for another time.

Y/N L/N: My album In The Morning, finally came out in ‘78 and it was the number one album of the year. My two singles were on it along with a shit ton of new songs I had written. I went on tour, got married, got divorced, had another relationship, broke up. A lot of stuff happened in those years.

BILLY DUNNE: Teddy died in ‘83. They found him hunched over a sound board after another all-nighter. He died doing what he loved, just like he said he would.

DAISY JONES: Everything that I have and everything that I have done, my music, my sobriety, my daughter, is all because I left that night.

Y/N L/N: I was happy with Eddie, that part is true, but when I left, I found myself. I found my music, I found a life outside of that band, I found a life where my life didn’t revolve around Eddie Roundtree.

INTERVIEWER: How did you feel when Y/N left?

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I was heartbroken but I knew she was going to. Y/N completed me like no one else, she loved me like no one else. But she needed to work on herself without me, without any of us. She needed to heal.

Y/N L/N: I loved Eddie so much that leaving physically pained me. I felt it in my heart, in my lungs, in my whole body. I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved Eddie.

INTERVIEWER: What about your first husband?

Y/N L/N: When I married my first husband, we both knew that we didn’t love each other as much as we should. We married out of convenience and feeling like we had to to please other people. I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him. Five months after we married we separated, it wasn’t working out. It was never going to work out.

INTERVIEWER: Did you have any other relationships after Y/N?

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: A few but none of them lasted long. None of them were Y/N, no one would ever hold a flame to her.

Y/N L/N: Did you know that Y/N L/N is now only my stage name?

INTERVIEWER: I had heard about that, would you care to explain?

Y/N L/N: L/N is only a part of my stage name now, it’s what most people know me by. It’s like a brand, you can’t change it once people know who you are. My albums have the name Y/N L/N plastered across them, posters and banners all read that name. I’m bound by the name Y/N L/N. I mean I love it, it’s a badass name…but I think I prefer Y/N Roundtree a little better.

:: THE CAMERA PANS OUT AND EDDIE ROUNDTREE TAKES A SEAT NEXT TO Y/N L/N ::

Y/N looked at her husband and took his hand in hers, pressing a kiss to it. The two smiled at each other with pure love and adoration in their eyes.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I proposed to Y/N in March 1983, we hadn’t seen each other since that night in Chicago but I knew immediately when she showed up on my doorstep that I needed to do it then or I never would.

Y/N ROUNDTREE: We got married in December 1983, small ceremony with only close family and friends in attendance. Though obviously the tabloids got wind of it.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: We started making music together and have three albums out that are very successful. We started our record label, Mockingbird Records, in ‘87 and we’ve produced some big records.

Y/N ROUNDTREE: We had our kids in ‘84 and ‘86 and I didn’t think my heart could be big enough for them. I never thought I would be a mother, but those two are my whole world.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: Our kids mean everything to me, I mean if you told me that at the age of twenty-four that in ten years I’d have my first kid, I wouldn’t have believed anyone. I never saw myself having kids, but as soon as our son was born I couldn’t help but fall in love. And when our daughter was born, that love only intensified.

INTERVIEWER: Would you mind talking about Camila?

Y/N closed her eyes, her eyes already filling with tears at the mention of her name. Eddie held his wife’s hand tightly as tears sprung to his eyes also.

“Julia,” Y/N began, “I don’t know if…”

“Please, Aunt Y/N.” Julia says.

Blinking away her tears, Y/N nodded.

Y/N ROUNDTREE: Camila Dunne was the most amazing woman I ever met. She understood me, she always made sure I was okay when I felt down. She was always there for me. I miss her more than you could ever imagine, she was my best friend.

KAREN SIRKO: I mean she was the reason I joined the band. She was the reason I stayed.

DAISY JONES: She saw a future for me that I couldn’t see for myself, and she was right.

GRAHAM DUNNE: I can’t.

WARREN ROJAS: What’s crazy is that anyone even remembers The Six.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: When Aurora was released on CD, we sold another, what, two million copies, three million?

Y/N ROUNDTREE: What’s strange about it is that people no longer know me from the band, and when they see me on the cover they get confused, [chuckles] It is quite funny.

GRAHAM DUNNE: You know, it came on in the car the other day. The, uh, classic rock station. I thought that was crazy.

BILLY DUNNE: It’s fun to think you did something, you know? Left your mark on the world.

JULIA DUNNE: Would you ever want to do it again?

DAISY JONES: Do what, honey?

JULIA DUNNE: You know.

DAISY JONES: I don’t know how your mother would have felt about that.

JULIA DUNNE: I do.

***

The camera was switched off and Y/N let out a sigh of relief. She slumped back against Eddie as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Thank you both for doing this.” Julia says.

“Thank you for doing this Julia,” Y/N says, “Now I’ll get the press off my back from asking me questions about it.”

Julia laughs as she packs away her camera.

Y/N turned to Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips. They had been married fourteen years but she felt young whenever she kissed him. As she pulled away she smiled at him. He looked the same as he did when they were in their twenties and completely oblivious, except with the addition of some facial hair, a few more wrinkles and some grey hair coming in.

“I love you.” Eddie says.

Y/N smiles and it is the same smile Eddie fell in love with years ago, “I love you too.”

Once Julia was packed away and bid goodbye to Y/N and Eddie, the two retreated into their house just as the sun began to set. Their two children sat together watching television, their son, August, a lot more invested than their daughter, Dahlia.

“Have you finished now?” Dahlia asked, perking up once she saw her parents walk through the door.

“Yes honey, we’re finished.” Y/N says, sitting on the couch next to her daughter.

“Finally,” August says, “Can I go and play outside now?”

“Not now, it’s nearly dinner time,” Eddie says, “You can play outside tomorrow.”

August groaned, “But I need to practise for the game on Friday and I haven’t been able to do it all week.”

Y/N and Eddie share a look and Eddie sighs, “Look, you can practise for an hour outside after dinner.”

August slumped against the couch, “What are we having for dinner anyways? Whatever we have won’t be ready for over an hour, why can’t I go and practice now.”

Y/N sighs and shakes her head before smiling, “Why don’t we order pizza? And we can help you practise.”

August perked up, “Really?”

“Really,” Y/N says and Eddie nods, “It’s the least we can do from banishing you from the garden all week.”

August suddenly got up from his seat on the sofa, “I’m going to get my shoes on, hurry up!”

Dahlia didn’t move from the couch, “Why can’t we do something I want to do?”

“We can tomorrow,” Y/N says, “Don’t tell your brother but we’re taking you somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.”

“Disneyland?” Dahlia questioned.

“Maybe,” Y/N smiled, “But don’t tell your brother.”

“I won’t.” Dahlia says before standing up and walking out of the living room following her brother.

“Fifty bucks she tells him.” Y/N says.

“You’re on.” Eddie says as the two shook on it.

Not even ten seconds later, August comes rushing back into the room, “You’re taking Dahlia to Disneyland, that’s not fair.”

“We have to play your stupid game.” Dahlia argued, beginning to walk out of the room.

“It’s not stupid Dahlia, it’s a way of life.” August says while following Dahlia.

“A way of life?” Dahlia says, “You sound stupid.”

“Well you sound stupid.”

Y/N laughs, “Whose idea was it to have kids again?”

“I don’t think either of them were planned.” Eddie chuckles.

Y/N laughs, and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Eddie’s arms wrapped around her waist pulling her close to him. Their lips only centimetres apart. Moments like this were few and far between, the two constantly being interrupted by one of their children.

“You know what?” Eddie says.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“I feel a lot better now that I’ve gotten everything off my chest.” Eddie says, “I don’t need to hide anything anymore, it’s all going to be public knowledge soon.”

“Me too,” Y/N sighed, “We will hopefully stop getting asked about it in interviews soon.”

“Or maybe it’ll increase,” Eddie says.

“Don’t even joke about that, Mr Roundtree.” Y/N says.

“Whatever you say Mrs Roundtree.”

Y/N smiled, despite being married for over a decade, hearing her name always brought a smile to her face. Y/N pressed a kiss to Eddie’s lips and her fingers tangled in his hair. Eddie’s hands held firmly onto her hips, pressing her body fully against his. Their lips moved in sync with each other as Y/N sighed happily. Eddie smiled against Y/N’s lips.

“Mom!” A voice sounded throughout the house, “Tell August to stop being mean to me.”

Y/N and Eddie broke apart and sighed, “You know one of these days we will be able to finish something without getting interrupted.”

“Probably when they are both at college, but knowing them two, they’ll still find a way to interrupt,” Y/N jokes, “I’ll see what they want and you order pizza?”

“Sounds perfect.” Eddie says, pecking her lips.

“Mom!” Dahlia shouted.

Y/N sighed, “Coming!”

Y/N stepped away from Eddie and walked to the living room door not before turning around and blowing him a kiss, “I love you, Eddie Roundtree.”

“I love you too, Y/N L/N, more than you could ever know.”

Y/N smirked, “I think I know by now.”

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m-jelly · 2 months

Text

The bunny's keeper - Chapter 7

@ladycheesington <3

Levi x fem! reader.

Modern AU, fluff, romance, falling in love, Levi has tattoos and piercings, bad boy Levi, protective Levi,

In this chapter: Erwin makes progress with the mayor and Seymore makes his appearance. While you and Levi enjoy a fun day together, you receive gifts from a new admirer.

Massive thank you to @ladycheesington for helping me flesh this story out and helping with the side plot of Erwin and how the gang started <3

Part 8

Erwin fixed his hair and suit as he gently smiled. “I’m nervous. I’m having flashbacks to the last time we did this.”

Levi hummed. “Last time we saw Mr Seymore, but this time we’re seeing the mayor who personally invited us.” Levi looked over at Erwin. “You look good, stop worrying so much otherwise you look like you can’t shit.”

“I don’t know how to get rid of that look.” He touched his chiselled face. “It’s my face.”

“Think of your girlfriend all sleepy in bed wearing your shirt.” Levi smiled. “I think about my fiancée in a shirt of mine sitting on our bed with a cuddly toy in her arms asking to cuddle.” He hummed as he thought of you. “Can we hurry up with this meeting? I want to go home now.”

Erwin let out a long sigh. “So do I. I can’t stop thinking of my cute kitten.”

Levi held the door open for his friend. “It’s your reward for today.”

“It’s a great reward.”

Levi put his hands in his pockets. “We’re lucky men.” He released a long sigh and remembered something you talked to him about. “Tch, oi Erwin?”

“Hmm?”

Levi felt himself blushing a bit. “Bunny and I are engaged.”

Erwin glanced over at his friend. “Yes. You have told me a few times and others.” He chuckled. “You’re a proud man.”

Levi nodded. “I am. Well, I want to talk to you about it.”

Erwin signed in at reception and saw the receptionist blushing hard as she gazed at the two of them. “Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

Levi walked with Erwin up the stairs to the mayor’s office. “We’re going to marry after we take over you-know-who’s ownership of businesses which will mean us being rich.”

Erwin chuckled. “Should be soon. You-know-who is very pissed and will attack soon.”

“You’re right about that. It’ll be a full-on fight probably. The detectives on our side?”

Erwin nodded and patted Levi’s back to reassure him. “They are.”

“Good.” Levi rubbed the back of his neck. “I want you to be my best man.”

Erwin paused outside the mayor’s office. He gazed at his friend and felt a little emotional, it was so touching to be asked. “I would be honoured.”

Levi smiled. “Great. I’m not sure who Bunny will pick for her maid of honour. Probably your girlfriend.”

Erwin chuckled. “That’d be really good actually. Just the four of us.” He frowned. “Wait, it’ll be a big thing knowing our gang.” He laughed. “It’ll be a whole damn party.”

“You’re right.” He couldn’t help but smile more. “I think it’ll be good. You don’t mind me taking her on a long honeymoon, do you? I don’t care much for money, but I want to spend everything on her. So, it’ll be the biggest holiday we’ve ever had.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea. Go all out, five stars and all-inclusive. We’ll have plenty.”

“Perfect. Thank you.” Levi knocked on the mayor’s door before he was instructed to open it. “Good afternoon, how are you today Mr mayor?”

The mayor hurried over with a bright smile. “Levi! Erwin! Great to see you! Thank you so much for coming over!” He shook both of their hands. “Would you like something to drink? We have so much to talk about!”

Levi gave Erwin a look. “Told you.”

Erwin relaxed. “How about we go out for a drink and food? I want to show you the spots where good people have been helped by you and us.”

The mayor’s eyes sparkled. “Yes. I would love that.”

“I will lead you. We can walk and talk.”

Levi hung behind as Erwin started chatting with the mayor. Levi’s main job was to ensure both were safe and no one was coming up from behind to hurt them. His eyes moved around as they walked through the streets to a part that was once forgotten and was now coming back to life. The city was getting better thanks to Erwin’s hard work and now with the mayor joining in, progress was getting faster. Money was flooding into the gang which allowed them to help more people and improve the group.

A chime from his phone broke his thoughts. Levi retrieved his phone to see you had texted him. He smiled softly at your sweet text asking him about dinner. He messaged you back and sent words of love to you. A strong blush spread on his cheeks when you sent him a picture, it was suggestive and teasing to him. He messaged you back countless words of praise. It made him smile how you went from cute, to teasing horny, to concerned and worried. Levi let you know that the meeting was going perfectly and to shop for wedding dresses.

He sat at the bar in the family-owned restaurant. He ordered what he wanted and made sure to buy a little treat for you. He felt eyes on him, so he turned to see the mayor and Erwin looking at him. “What?”

The mayor chuckled. “Erwin was just saying how your fiancée was the brains behind a lot of this.”

Levi blushed hard. “Yes, she’s the best. She’s so smart and pretty.” He smiled a little. “I can’t wait to marry her.”

“I can imagine. A woman like that you have to keep with you for eternity and make sure she knows how precious she is.”

“I let her know every day.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I do a lot of this for her. Before her, I was just helping Erwin when I could and kept to myself. When she came into my life, she made me see how incredible friendship and community can be. I have made countless friends, had a lot of laughs and so many memories that will last a lifetime.”

The mayor pointed. “Now that, that right there is true love and why I trust you both so much.” He hummed a laugh. “The day you worked on that park together and I saw how you were with your partners, along with the people it made me see that I could trust you both.”

“We appreciate the trust.”

He pointed to a little takeaway container. “This for your Mrs?”

Levi nodded. “Yes. Wherever I go, I get something for her. She tells me I don’t need to, but I can’t help myself. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“You two going to have kids?”

Levi smiled softly as he thought about having kids with you. “Yes. When things are better for us though. Priority for us is safety and being financially happy. Mr Seymore is making this city too dangerous. I have to make sure my beautiful bunny is safe.”

The mayor hummed with a smile. “So perfect.”

Levi stood up. “We should get moving, we’re slowly being surrounded.”

“How do you know?”

Erwin chuckled. “Levi is one of the best in my team. He can protect anything.”

The mayor marvelled at Levi. “Impressive!”

Levi slipped out of the building first and glared at a man leaning against his car, he was one he beat up at the theme park. So, as soon as the man saw Levi he hurried back into his car. Levi clicked his tongue. “Seems like we’re okay for now. We should head back to the city hall.”

Erwin slipped past. “You’re right, we’ll head back now.”

The mayor walked to Erwin’s side and moved back through the city to the city hall. “Oh, that’s an expensive car.”

“Looks like he is facing us.”

Francis Seymore climbed out of the car and glared at Erwin. Francis was an older gentleman, stocky in build with slicked-back hair that was dyed black to hide his age. “Mayor, good to see you. I was wondering if we could have a meeting.”

The mayor looked at his watch. “Mm, I am too busy I’m afraid. Call my sec and we’ll try and arrange something.”

He moved closer to Erwin. “So, you’re the little puppy that’s been nipping at my ankles, huh?”

The mayor chuckled. “I think he’s done more than nip.”

Francis stepped up to Erwin. “If you had any sense, kid, you’d step away now before you lose the people you love.”

Erwin held his head high. “Fear looks good on you, Francis.”

Francis snarled. “That’s Mr Se…” His eyes widened when he saw a beautiful woman hurrying over. “Who is that?”

Levi lowered his guard and turned to see you hurrying over with a smile. He opened his arms to you. “Bunny.”

You jumped into Levi’s arms. “Hi, grumpy.”

Levi squeezed you. “What are you doing here?”

You dropped to your feet and gazed at him with loving eyes. “I wanted to walk you home. Plus, you said you would be home about 20 minutes ago and I started to worry.” You gasped and fiddled with your bag. “I also went to a wedding place and found a collection of pretty dresses!”

“Oh really? Well, we’ll look at them together later tonight.” He caressed your cheek. “We need to get home though.”

You hugged the magazine. “Did I come at a bad time?”

He felt his heart throb when he saw the sad look you gave him like you were getting ready to be shouted at. “It’s okay, just someone bad turned up.”

You peered around Levi to see Francis was looking at you the way Levi did when he first fell for you. “Oh…him…I understand.”

Francis moved past Erwin and over to you. “Hello.”

You gazed up at him. “Umm…hi?”

He grinned at you. “I’m Francis Seymore, but you can call me Francis.”

You pulled a face. “How can I help you, Mr Seymore? Do you have business with my fiancé?”

“I was just wanting to talk to the mayor about a few things.” He frowned. “You are linked with these two?”

You nodded and hugged Levi’s arm. “I’m marrying this handsome man.” You leaned up and kissed him. “He’s the love of my life.”

Levi tapped his forehead against yours. “And you’re mine, my darling bunny.”

Francis sneered. “You deserve better.”

You frowned and glared at him. “Says who? You don’t know me. I do know you and you make this city sick.”

He gasped in horror. “I can fix it!”

The mayor cleared his throat. “Erwin, it has been a great talk.” He shook Erwin’s hand. “Thank you for today, I will let you know about our next meeting. Levi, you too. I would shake your hand, but it seems you have your hands full. Go home and enjoy time with your fiancée.”

Levi picked you up making you giggle. “Oh, I will.”

You hummed with happiness. “You coming Erwin?”

Erwin walked over. “Yeah, I’ll walk with you both.”

Seymore hurried after you. “Wait! I want to talk to you more. Such a pretty thing.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “Weird old man!”

He gasped. “I can show you how wonderful I am.”

“Why would I want you when I have Levi? Plus, you deal with drugs. I hate that.” You gazed at Levi. “I cooked your favourite at home.”

Levi smiled. “Favourite? Anything you make is my favourite.”

You laughed a little. “You’re cute. You will get many kisses tonight.”

“Fuck yes.”

You played with Levi’s hair as leaned against you and played Elden Ring. The two of you loved playing it and you hoped that one day you’d be able to afford another gaming system and TV so you could play together. You adored how Levi went for silly names and pure strength build, he was just a powerhouse not to be messed with.

You leaned and looked at his face. “You want a homemade pizza roll?”

Levi brightened up. “Please. You really are incredible. I can’t believe you made them.”

You fed one to Levi. “I just hope they’re good.”

“They’re delicious.” He hummed in delight. “Mm, so good.”

You gazed down at your fiancé and admired him in a tank top to combat the heat of the summer, as well as comfy jogging bottoms. You liked both because it didn’t leave much to the imagination. You kissed the top of Levi’s head and knew he was very comfy using your boobs as pillows. You felt so in love with the man lying against you.

Levi leaned his head back and looked up a little. “You okay bunny? You want my attention?”

You hummed a laugh. “Your attention is nice, but I just enjoy watching you. You play this game so well. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

You leaned and kissed him on the lips. “I love you.”

“Love you always.”

You pushed your fingers in his hair and massaged deeply. Recently, Levi had his hair cut and it was this perfect undercut that you knew he would have for the rest of his life. You loved it so much because the hair was thick on top, and then you had the buzzcut under. “So handsome.”

Levi blushed. “Thank you.”

You purred. “I just want to eat you up!”

Levi whined a bit. “You’re flustering.”

You giggled. “Sorry, are you losing focus?”

“A little.”

“Want me to move?”

He pouted. “No.”

“So, you don’t want me to move but I am distracting, hmm?”

Levi rolled over in your arms and pressed his face against your boobs. “So mean to me.”

You massaged your fingers in his hair. “I am. I enjoy making you a gooey cute little squeeze bear.”

Levi released a long sigh. “Mm, can we snuggle for a bit?”

“Of course. You sure you want to stop playing Elden ring?”

He leaned up. “You’re more fun.”

You gasped at him. “That’s a big statement. That game is supposed to be one of the best.”

Levi bit the top of your breast. “You’re better.”

“Gamers of the world would have your head for that.”

“Well, they have never had the joy of being in love with you, listening to you, talking to you, touching your boobs or being balls deep in you and filling you with cum.”

You felt your heart race. “Levi!”

“What?” He growled and nipped your neck. “It’s true.”

“You’re so naughty. I can’t believe you said that.”

He leaned up and kissed you. “If you want me to stop saying things like that, then give me something to shut me up.”

You huffed. “You wanna play it that way, huh?”

“I do.”

You tackled him to the floor with a little cute war cry. “Surprise attack!”

Levi laughed at you before rolling over and pinning you under him. “You’re not going to win!”

You wrapped your legs around him and clenched tightly causing him to moan. You rolled over onto him and locked hands with him. “I know your weaknesses!”

Levi smirked. “What are they?”

“Every inch of my body!”

“You’re right!” He pulled your arms apart making you gasp when your lips were inches from yours. “I know yours though.” He moaned your name making your heart race and arousal shoot through you. “Good girl.”

You squeaked. “No fair!”

He laughed. “I will win.”

You growled. “Not so fast!” You licked his neck making him shiver and release you. “Got you!”

Levi rubbed his neck. “You’re sneaky.” He sat up and stared at you. “I will get my revenge, little bunny.”

You giggled as you slid on the floor. “Bring it, grumpy.”

Levi tackled you this time and then playfully rolled around on the floor with you. “I’ve got you, bunny.”

You dove at him. “Secret weapon!” You lay against Levi with your boobs on his face. “Booby attack.”

Levi hummed in happiness as his hands ran up your back, his voice a little muffled. “I am happy to give up if you stay like this.”

You leaned up and looked down at him as he whined. “Wouldn’t you prefer kissing?”

He wrapped his arms around you and rolled onto you. “I would love kissing.” He purred as his lips moved against yours. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You moaned as Levi’s tongue moved with yours and his hands massaged your body. “Levi?”

Levi kissed your neck before leaning up and looking down at you. “Yes, my little bunny?”

You pouted a bit. “Could you help me play Elden Ring? I want your wonderful guidance. I’ve always wanted to try a different class I’m not used to and I want you to guide me.”

Levi’s eyes sparkled. “Yes! I would love to!” He sat up and dragged you onto his lap so your back was against his. “Let’s get started!”

You giggled as Levi held you from behind and chatted to you about the game, you just loved how he explained it to you. He never once talked down to you or made you feel stupid, it was pure loving guidance from him. He even told you where cute outfits were and pretty weapons. When you beat characters you felt so excited. At each point you got to in the game, Levi supported you.

You paused the game when someone knocked at your flat door. “Grumpy?”

Levi kissed your cheek. “I’m not expecting anything. Give me a moment.” He grabbed his knife and moved closer. He sternly said your name. “Bathroom.”

You nodded and ran to the bathroom and hid. “Be safe.”

Levi stepped to the side just in case someone shot through the door. He unlocked it and moved the door open a little to see it was a delivery man. “Tch, we didn’t order shit.”

The delivery man looked down at the box and the flowers. “Sorry, sir.” He read your name on the box. “That’s the name on everything.”

“Who sent it?”

He gulped hard. “Mr Seymore?”

Levi snarled. “She doesn’t want it.”

The man looked scared. “You want me to give it back? But…but…”

You walked over and rubbed Levi’s back. “Levi, Mr Seymore won’t be very forgiving compared to you and Erwin. We can take it and burn it or maybe donate it.”

Levi released a long sigh. “We’ll take it. You’re lucky my fiancée is so sweet.”

You helped Levi bring in the massive bunch of flowers and box. “I’ll open it and see what’s in the box.”

Levi paced a little like a pissed-off wolf trying to protect his mate. “Tch, sure.”

You used Levi’s knife to open it up and see it was full of different gifts – chocolate, sweets, cookies and cuddly toys – all of them were expensive. “Hmm…how about we take these to like a nursing home? This stuff is room rich in flavour for kids.”

Levi gazed into the box. “Huh, yeah that’d be good. Plus, it’s always good to get old people on our side.”

You giggled. “You’re right.”

He picked everything up and sighed. “Shall we go?”

You stared at him. “You might want to change. Jogging bottoms leave little to the imagination.”

He put everything down. “You’re right.”

You hummed a laugh before joining him in changing. You made sure to wear something pretty and soft. You admired Levi’s in his summer outfit. “So handsome.”

Levi smiled at you. “Thank you. You look very cute.”

You blushed. “Thank you. You know I think lots of old ladies will be all over you today.”

Levi grabbed the gifts. “Please protect me from them.”

“I promise!”

The two of you walked out of the apartment and through the streets, it was clear you were being followed by someone hired by Mr Seymore, but they weren’t there to hurt either of you. It felt weird that someone who was supposed to be your enemy now had an infatuation with you. Mr Seymore was a much older man too, so that made you feel uncomfortable. All you wanted was to marry Levi and live a happy life with him.

Levi glanced over at you. “We should go shopping for a new place.”

You gazed at Levi. “I think so too.”

Levi smiled. “I thought you’d mention money worries, I’m glad you’re feeling more confident.”

You released a long sigh as you held the door open for Levi. “Well, we do need to move now I have an annoying pest.”

Levi hummed. “You’re right.” He walked over to the counter. “We have gifts for your residents.”

The lady gasped. “Thank you so much. This is amazing! Thank you. I know our people will be very happy! Would you like to help us hand things out?”

Levi nodded. “Sure. We’ll stay for a bit.”

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #snk levi #aot fanfiction #levi x you #levi x y/n #fanfic #levi fanfiction #levi x reader #jelly fanfics #levi x yn #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x y/n

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light-yaers · 2 years

Text

Lover: Chapter One

Chapter List | AO3 | Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and substance abuse, eventual sex/smut, mentions of death/cancer. 18+

A/N: hello hello!! so as said earlier, i have delved down a deep dark hole that i cannot get out of until i write this. this is a mini series based purely on the tv show characterisations, since i’ve not read the books! hope you enjoy xx

Word Count: 3.1k

Chapter One: reunited.

A thousand thoughts bombarded your skull as you walked around the side of the Fisher’s beach house in Cousins, but the main one was this—

Had it really been five fucking years since you were last here?

The summer you turned sixteen was the last holiday you ever spent here, only returning for Susannah’s funeral four years later, and now this. This of all things that you were still desperately trying to wrap your brain around; Belly and Jeremiah’s fucking wedding.

There was a part of you that knew it. Susannah had always said that you and Belly were destined for her boys, but during every summer before you left you were sure that she’d liked Conrad over Jere. You couldn’t wait to hear the stories. You couldn’t wait to simply exist with them again.

After everything that had halted your vacations here, after reeling and mourning Susannah away from them all; this was needed.

You needed to be back in Cousins with the Fisher’s and the Conklin’s again. Even if it might be the last time.

That was the hardest part to admit, for sure.

The path swirled around the back of the house, melting into the rest of the patio that surrounded the pool in the backyard. You remembered it all so vividly: nothing whatsoever had changed. This was the pool where the boys took it upon themselves to throw you and Belly into the cold water in the morning. This was the patio where you and Conrad sat after stealing a bottle of red wine from Adam’s wine cellar, chugging on the bottle and then stupidly deciding to rush down to the ocean for a late-night dip when you were teenagers.

The back door was swung open, music from the radio filtering out the back.

“Hello?” you announced hesitantly, and within seconds Jeremiah’s face popped out from the doorway.

“Oh my god,” he said first, before a smile the size of fucking Jupiter erupted onto his face. “Belly!” he exclaimed, before flinging himself down the back steps until you were within his arms.

Tears began fighting their way into your eyes, but you stopped them from forming. You didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to make this all the more difficult and heartfelt than you already knew it would be—

I mean... you hadn’t even seen Conrad yet. If you cried with Jeremiah and Belly, then you’d probably end up sobbing when you saw Conrad’s face.

Jeremiah held you tightly, squeezing you as if he wasn’t ever going to let go. He’d grown so much in five years, from the almost twenty-year old boy into a full grown twenty-four year old man; soon to be twenty-five. He was taller, bigger, bit still contained the same ferocious charm and love within his heart.

That would never disappear.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he whispered, and you swallowed back the want to burst into tears. Instead, you pulled away, holding him at an arms distance.

“And I can’t believe you’re fucking getting married,” you let out, laughter bubbling between the both of you. “Did you get her a good ring?” you asked.

“See it for yourself,” Belly’s voice spoke up over your reunion, and your chest all but caved in. As your gaze scattered over her, you were hit with the realisation that she was no longer a child. All the prior grace and elegance she’d lacked at age fourteen was now replaced with a sense of herself that made you jealous.

Belly descended the steps until she was at your level; strong, beautiful, grown.

“Fucking hell,” the words tumbled from your mouth involuntarily. “You—you, you’re so—,”

“I know,” she interrupted you, smiling at you with gleaming eyes that made your heart hurt.

“You’re so beautiful,” was all you could say, coming towards her and taking her hands in yours. You spun her around once, before she catapulted herself into your chest. “You’re not a kid anymore, Bells,” you whispered.

“Neither are you,” she whispered back. She smelled like sandalwood, the staple scent that Susannah adored pumping into the beach house.

Even without stepping into the house, you could already sense her absence; this nagging emptiness that sat on a chair at the patio, on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, in the middle of the sofa clutching a cushion.

Your eyes found the doorway then, scanning the doorframe, scuttling across the windows, just trying to have a peak into the house to see if she—if someone—was in there. Steven, maybe. Or Conrad.

No, definitely Conrad.

As Belly grew, her crush on the eldest Fisher brother did as well. Her friendship with Jeremiah soared, as well. They were best friends, and now soon to be married.

You and Conrad had started off rocky. The two oldest kids in the house, butting heads and trying to one up each other, until the time you turned thirteen. That’s when the friendship had properly begun.

Nights on the beach, secret driving lessons in the golf buggies at the country club, playing chicken in the pool with Steven and Jere. Your relationship had blossomed into much more than the frenemy situation you’d started off in. When you left Cousins every summer, you stayed in contact. Whenever you were in the States, you made sure to visit him in Boston if you got the chance.

Those four years. Those four summers. Thirteen to sixteen years old.

That’s when Conrad was your favourite person in this entire world.

Maybe he still was.

Even after all this time. Even after the fight.

“He’s not in there,” Jeremiah said, shooting you a knowing stare. You frowned at him playfully. “He’s on the beach with Steven, and some friends,”

You let out a scoff. “Conrad has friends?”

“Shocker, I know,” Jere replied, coming over to snake a hand around Belly’s waist. The three of you looked out towards the ocean. “He’s been waiting for you to arrive for the past week. Everyday it’s when she gets here this and if she was here that,” he added, eyes scuttling over your face secretly. “He’s missed you,”

You breathed out slowly, ignoring the pain in your chest. “Yeah. That makes two of us,”

Walking down the dock to the beach, the pump of music and sounds of laughter got ever present. You’d never been to a bonfire on the beach; you’d always been too young; and it was crazy to realise that this was your first ever beach bonfire in Cousins. At age twenty-five. What the fuck.

You ignored your pounding heart as the dock slowly turned to sand, and slipped off your shoes when you stepped onto the beach. Your feet sank into the sand gently, as you strolled towards the circle of people in camp chairs and on inflatables.

You recognised Steven straight away, standing up to the right, arm draped around the shoulders of a very pretty girl. Steven had always been a stud, in his own special way. Like Belly, he’d also matured in a way that made the breath hitch in your throat.

You cleared your throat once, alerting some people to your presence. “Hey, nerd!” you yelled, and all eyes were upon you suddenly. Steven averted his gaze from his girl to you, and the realisation hit him like a truck.

“Oh my god,” him and Jere were still peas in a fucking pod; they even said the same fucking things. “Oh my fucking god!” he exclaimed, giving his girl a chaste kiss on her forehead before he flung himself across the beach towards you. His snarky and boundless energy was enough to make you buzz inside, copying the way he was all but jumping as he made his way over to you.

“You’re here! You’re here!” he yelled some more, wrapping his arms around you and bobbing you around in circles as his energy dispelled.

“Since when did you get so fucking tall?” you chuckled into his chest, struggling against the sheer size of the man before you.

“Same time my voice dropped,” he let out, pulling away. “It’s called puberty. You should look it up. Won’t be long until you go through it—,”

“Oh, fuck you,” you pushed him away playfully. “I was taller than you once, don’t forget that,”

“When we were twelve,” he chuckled. The inescapable feeling of happiness washed over you then, the same way the ocean washed up upon the shore. The fear you’d felt on the drive over from the airport felt silly now—

It was just Cousins. The place you’d grown up at. Surrounded by the people that saw you grow, and you them as well. It was just Belly, Jere, Steven and—

“Conrad’s swimming,” Steven said suddenly, leaning his shoulder against yours as he pointed towards the sea. “There,” you nodded once, taking in a deep breath. Steven immediately noticed your anxiety. “Five years, right?” he asked gently.

You nodded again, coming back to reality. “Yeah, five whole years,” you repeated.

“Take it from me,” Steven began, before gently laying his hand down on your shoulder. “He’s missed you more than he’ll let on,”

“That’s what I said,” Jere and Belly strolled up behind the two of you, peering out at Conrad in the ocean with you. “He’s been better the past few years, though. Who knows? He might turn back into the Connie we all grew up with,” Jere added, almost sadly.

“That would be a miracle,” Steven laughed once, crossing him arms.

“No,” Belly spoke suddenly. “I think you’re all underestimating him,” you shot a look at her; gently, thoughtfully, as her eyes danced across the ocean. “He’s been talking about you since we got engaged, you know?” Belly looked at you quickly, smiling slyly.

“You guys are scaring me more than I’m fucking scaring myself,” you let out nervously. Jere dropped his hand to your shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s just Conrad. He doesn’t bite,” he said, and you scoffed so loudly that it was lucky Conrad didn’t fucking hear you from the sea.

“You and I both know that’s a lie,” you chuckled, until you thought you might cough up a lung. It was useless stalling more, though. You had to face him sooner or later. You had to see him—and God—you wanted to. The days since you’d last hugged or talked Conrad Fisher were too many to even count.

You all watched as Conrad emerged from the sea, sopping wet. He pushed his drenched hair off his forehead, shaking himself off like a wet dog before he started walking up the beach. You took him in before you yelled. All soft curves and broader shoulders and a sharper jaw. He was the Conrad you’d always known, but he was also an image that you’d never know possible.

Conrad Fisher was grown up. Both of you were.

You whispered a peppy okay to yourself, before lunging forward playfully and exclaiming “Conrad Fisher!” through cupped hands. He looked up suddenly peering around the beach until he saw who was calling his name. “You’re late!” you added, and his gaze finally found yours.

When he stopped abruptly, you thought you were going to throw up. You started walking towards him slowly, skirt fluttering in the ocean breeze and hair flying all over the place. You stopped when you were no more than twenty meters from each other.

He was the first to smile. Your heart skipped.

“I’m late?” he replied, shouting without dignity across the beach. Everyone watched with bated breath, ready to witness you and Conrad reuniting after so fucking long. Confusion covered their faces—none of them knew who you were, same as yourself. Conrad started stomping across the beach towards you. “You’re five fucking years late,” he boomed.

You shot him the cheesiest smile possible, hands behind your back, leaning forward slightly in the signature pose of the guilty. “Who’s counting anyway?” you said, lower this time, as he stomped his way closer and closer to you without any indication of stopping.

“I am,” he said strongly, all eyes on him. His face was stern, his jaw clenched, his fists balled. God, maybe he was pissed off. Severely, really, angry.

“Okay,” you said, panicking suddenly as the gap between you both was starting to diminish very fast. You raised your hands, as if a gun was pointed at you. “I can explain—you know I can explain. We can talk this out,” you pleaded jokingly, but the line between playful and real was starting to fade.

You couldn’t read Conrad’s emotions anymore, not this soon anyway.

Ten meters between you was all that remained.

“It’s too late for explanations,” he replied, as the frown on his face slowly began upturning into a smile.

“Then—a bottle of red wine with your name on it?” you suggested.

“You’re not drinking your way out of this one, idiot,” he shut you down.

Five meters to go. You were so close now that, if you reached out, you could touch him; soaking wet skin and all.

“Then, then—,” you started clicking your fingers incessantly, but his strides only got longer, until he started jogging towards you. You took a few haste step backs. “Hey, now—Conrad—,”

“I have an idea for your penance,” he said, and he started sprinting.

“Hey—,”

“Belly flop!”

You started running before he’d even finished speaking, but it was far too late to beat him now. He was on your tail already, just am arm’s length away from grabbing your top and pulling you into his arms—which is exactly what he did.

He grabbed you by the waist, snaking his arms around your torso as he picked you, kicking and screaming, from the ground. He didn’t let up, not even when you squirmed in his arms and tried to push yourself off of him.

All the while back down the beach, he laughed as you tried to beg and plead your way out of this. The others looked on in awe, bar Jeremiah, Steven and Belly immediately rushing down to the beach to get a first-hand view of this ordeal.

“Conrad—Conrad!” you yelled, but to no avail.

“Five fucking years,” he kept saying it, over and over again as if trying to remind himself that he should be mad at you, but the smile in his face and the chuckles on his lips were enough for you to know he wasn’t at all.

“Put me down!” you screamed, bursting out giggles as he shuffled you in his grip, until he was holding you bridal style.

“Okay,” he said smartly, treading into the ocean until it reached his waist. You scrambled in his grip, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and trying to climb up higher on his tree length body. He clutched onto you tightly, sending silent chuckles into your ear as you were all too aware of the cold water beneath you.

“No, no, no—keep holding me—keep holding me!” you urged.

“I thought you wanted me to put you down?” he said smugly.

“I take it back—I take it back!” you begged.

“Rules are rules,” he said finally, as you looked back at the beach to see Steven with his phone out, filming the entire ordeal.

“You put that fucking phone down, Steven, or I swear to God—I’ll give you a wedgie as bad as the one I did when we were fifteen!” you shouted at him, and Conrad’s full laughter finally came out to play. You bobbed up and down in his arms, as his chest shot out chuckles of full belly laughter.

He turned back to the beach, just so everyone could get a good look. “Ready!” he yelled. The three of them on land cheered instantly.

“Fuck you, guys!” you yelled back.

“Together,” Conrad whispered, and you internally readied yourself.

“Wait—,” you began, but it was far too late. Conrad dropped himself to the floor, clutching you in his grasp until you were both under the water. You yelped in his arms, trying to squeeze out of his grip as you held your breath and felt the cold water cascade over every fucking inch of your skin and clothes.

He didn’t let you loose, though, but kept holding you as firmly as when he’d first picked you up.

Emerging from the water was the stuff of nightmares. Your hair, clothes, body, was drenched, along with Conrad himself. He shot himself back up to standing, laughing as you struggled in his grasp to get wet hair out of your face. When he started walking you back to the beach, you didn’t want to think about how heavy you’d be now—thanks to all the extra water weight.

As soon as you hit land, you jumped out of his arms, immediately falling to the ground and breathing heavily. “It’s so fucking cold!” you yelled, but the happiness on your face was apparent. Conrad laughed behind you, clutching his torso as he bent over slightly.

“Welcome back,” he let out breathlessly.

You forced yourself to standing, trying to ring out some of the water in your skirt. “I bought this skirt for the wedding,”

“Didn’t Belly tell you?” Conrad began, coming forward with a colossal smile on his pretty boy face. “You’re a bridesmaid,” Conrad glanced over to Belly on the beach behind you, winking smugly. Your eyes widened, as you turned round to her.

“What!” you screamed so more, but the breath in your lungs was running out fast from all the laughter you’d fucking produced.

“You’ve got a dress fitting next week,” she replied, as Jeremiah took hold of her hand. Steven was scrolling through his phone, looking at all the footage he’d just got.

You turned back to Conrad, shivering slightly as the breeze hit your wet body. He saw you shake, and let out an abrupt scoff. “Are you happy now, asshole?” you said playfully.

“I’ve never been happier,” he smiled.

“Sadist,” you let out, hugging yourself as you dripped water onto the sand. He came up behind you then, placing a gentle hand on your back. That alone made you shiver again.

He peered down at you fondly, hair covering his eyes slightly. “Come on, let’s go change inside,”

You shivered all the way to the beach house. Halfway up the dock, Conrad draped his arm around your shoulder, prompting you to hug his waist. You leaned your head into his shoulder, relishing in this closeness after so long.

“Five years,” you whispered, squeezing him affectionately.

“Five fucking years,” he repeated, peering down at you softly. Nothing more needed to be said.

He’d missed you more than you’d ever know.

680 notes · View notes

dinitride-art · 1 year

Text

Mike Wheeler in Season 4 (Analysis/Theory)pt.1/2

On screen in season four we didn’t see Joyce have a panic attack. We’ve seen her before, like in season one when Will went missing, but it’s interesting that they mentioned Joyce’s anxiety when it didn’t really come up.

Will mentions it in this scene, after El’s been arrested and her note has been handed over. He says something along the lines of, “-[My moms probably halfway to a panic attack right now]-” but we don’t see that when she’s trying to call later. Granted Murray is there to alleviate her worries when she can’t get through but it never gets to a point that is concerning.

Right after Will says this, he and Mike talk. And Will spends that conversation reassuring Mike that everything's going to be alright. This is far from the first time we’ve seen similarities between Mike and Joyce. They are constantly paralleled in the first season. But this also isn’t the first time we’ve seen Mike have a reaction to stressful situations that’s like this. It usually looks like an overreaction to the immediate situation- like when he hit Hopper in season two after El came back. And then Hopper changed gears completely and just held him until he calmed down.

We aren’t told a lot of things when it comes to Mike. Probably because we see so much of him and his narration, we don’t necessarily need to be told, but that makes it interesting when trying to interpret context clues.

Will mentioning Joyce having a panic attack, and the rest of the scene being spent making sure Mike’s okay, might be telling us exactly what’s happening with Mike.

We can see that Will’s choosing his words carefully. He’s thinking a lot about how to handle this conversation. Mike doesn’t have that same range of expressions.

Mike’s over the shoulder shot is also a bit different than what we see with Will. It’s closer to his face and angled so we see less of his expression and more of what he’s seeing. With Will’s OTS shot, they had more of an even share of the shot. It’s pretty usual for us to see more of what Mike’s perceiving than Mike himself, but thinking about it within the context of Mike’s struggles in season four it could offer an explanation as to why were never told what’s going on with Mike. At least not in words.

Mike’s posture is also making him look lower than Will. Like, emotionally. There’s also a lamp behind Will’s head, so that and the lighting shows Will’s role in this scene. Which is comforting Mike. (Mike’s also in front of the only orange rectangle in Jonathan’s wall hanging which is concerning because orange means danger. Established in season two with the pumpkins.) Will being placed in front of a band poster (I believe its the smiths? I might be remembering wrong though) also puts Will in the position of music. Which in season four, has connections to fending off Vecna’s curse. It’s pretty much the same idea as the light.

So Will is Mike’s light and his music. What this seems to be saying is that Will’s presence is protecting Mike from darkness/evil/Vecna. Or is foreshadowing that happening in season five.

But the main point is that Will is successful in cheering Mike up. And the scene might be showing us that Mike and Joyce have similar struggles with anxiety.

Jonathan and Will also seem to decide which person they’re responsible for? Like in the scene where they’re burying the dead body of ‘Mr. unnamed hero agent man’ and Argyle’s freaking out- and then Mike’s just standing there.

This is just Mike looking at Will, but it’s also showing who he looks for assurance in. Because Mike’s not doing well this season, that’s why there are so many heart to hearts, and Mike and Will moments. Because Mike needs constant reassurance in order to continue functioning. At least, that’s what seems like could be happening.

And in these two shots, we see first- Jonathan going and calming Argyle down, and then going after him. We also see Mike looking at Will, and his entire head is in shadow. Will’s in the center of the frame, and in the light.

And we all know the triple take. (colour wise, Mike’s in front of a yellow car, and Will’s in front of a blue car. Possibly showing their changing roles in their relationship. In season two and three, Mike was the one who was taking care of Will, and now that’s flipped. Because now Mike’s the one who’s struggling. And needs Will.)

We know that Mike was looking to Will the entire time they’ve been burrying the body. But it could be Mike staring at Will for the sake of staring at him, as much as it could be Mike wanting reassurance.

And he gets that the next time we see them.

Again, Mike’s been positioned in front of an ominous part of the background. This time it’s the mountain in shadow, while Will is in front of the open sky and plant life. Mike holding a seven up specifically, is also showing us that something is very wrong. Seven is a number established as a bad sign in the first episode of season one, and that had to do with Will. And Mike, because he was the one Will told. Mike being the one with a seven is again showing how their roles have flipped over in terms of what they both need from each other. Will needs Mike to be okay, and Mike needs to be okay.

The orange truck is closest to Mike in frame, and again Will is in front of blue cars.

While Mike is in front of a yellow truck.

Their backgrounds are contrasting again, with Will’s being light, and Mike’s being shadow. Their faces have a similar juxtaposition. Will is once again comforting Mike, who is again, struggling. The purpose of this part of season four isn’t just to develop Mike and Will’s relationship, and fix unresolved problems from the previous season. It’s also to show how their roles are swapped.

And the most important thing we see in these conversations, is that Mike needs this reassurance from Will, because something is wrong. Whether that be personal, or personal and supernatural, is yet to be seen. But we can be pretty sure that somethings going on with him.

Mike’s again is our focus. What’s interesting is how Will and Jonathan are on either side of Mike, not really caging him in, but rather in slightly protective stance. (Mike’s left hand is the one we see covered in dirt in this shot. More danger signs surrounding Mike.)

When Mike finds the clue, he looks to Will and Jonathan on either side of him. In season one, Mike was in a similar position as Joyce- meaning that there were a lot of people that told him he was wrong when he was actually right. Being worried about Will, thinking Will’s in danger, knowing Will is alive- all of these were things we saw Mike say to people and they shut him down. Like how Joyce was continually shut down when she was sure Will was alive.

He looks at Jonathan and Will for reassurance that he’s right. If he was sure and confidant in himself, it would have made more sense for him to jump into action immediately. But he doesn’t. (Yellow car behind Mike, blue van beside Will.)

When they call the number, we see Jonathan and Will again in supportive positions. But not necessarily taking a stance that shows they are confidant in Mike’s theory.

Then Mike passes the phone to Will, because he needs him to hear it too. Will’s hand over Mike’s makes more sense as a way of subtly comforting him. Saying that Will’s with him, but also showing further development in Mike and Will’s relationship this season.

After this happens, and the phone gets passed over to Jonathan, Will’s in the center of the frame. There’s a clear divide between Will and Jonathan, and Mike. This could be showing a couple different things. One being that Mike feels similar to how Joyce (and himself) felt in season one, being doubted while being right. And how he’s set a part from Mike and Will. Or it could be going the forced conformity box and foreshadowing Mike’s monologue and how Mike’s putting himself in a box. Or it could be saying something about how Mike called Will, but the calls didn’t go through- creating a rift/divide in their relationship.

From the composition of these shots however, it’s probably showing Mike being set a part from Will and Jonathan and needing to convince them he’s not crazy.

But it’s also showing again that Will is Mike’s light and his music. But also the way that Mike’s positioned in center frame, and is looking over his shoulder could be another sign of danger. Mike’s almost entirely in the dark in these shots, at least the close up ones. But Jonathan and Will are allowed to have light fall on them. Again, Mike’s in shadow, and has an indicator of something not being right. It’s a choice to not have everyone’s faces clear in reacting to Will. That choice including Mike looking over his shoulder, might be saying that Mike’s on edge for other reasons as well.

Once again we see Mike in between Will and Jonathan. He’s in the center again and Will’s in the light again- and what this seems to be saying is that we’re looking at Mike, and Jonathan and Will know somethings up too.

They keep being set up like this at Suzie’s, at least for the first part of it. Mike’s on edge the entire time he’s here, but the rest of them are slightly less tense. (Argyle’s in front of the bookshelf, and closest to the space poster. Further pushing the idea that he’s the wise fool, meaning that what he says might not always make sense, but have meaning from an audience perspective.)

When they’re lying to Suzie, and Mike has his arms crossed, he looks to Will quite a lot. These are the most notable/emphasized times, but what it shows is that Mike’s looking to Will to back him up. And it’s showing us that it’s very noticeable to other people when Mike does look for Will.

Also there’s a lot going on in Suzie’s room. Will’s put directly in front of a blue arrow pointing at Mike. And Mike’s in front of a bulletin board with letters tact to it. In the first shot, there’s a heart on Suzie’s desk on Mike’s side, and the arrow behind Will’s head on Will’s side. Both Mike and Will are placed near and/or in front of lights in this shot. This might be supporting Mike’s shirt pocket arrow representing the direction of his heart. Especially since it is pointing to Will in that shot. This is one of the first times that Mike’s shirt pocket is allowed to point to Will in Suzie’s house too.

Even in this shot, Will and Jonathan manage to be on either side of Mike. Mike’s shirt pocket is pointing to the light, and the curtains. This is one of the rare times Will is in the dark while Mike’s in the light. But this lighting is similar to the harsh white light cast on Vecna’s victims, rather than the romantic lighting on Will. Mike’s also been positioned in front of a painting that’s either of water, or sand or something weird and important. If it is water than that’s another sign of danger for Mike. But either way, the one we see panicking the most in this shot is Mike.

Still can’t really tell what it is, but it appears to be water.

Anyways, then they end up in Suzie’s dad’s office. Mike and Will are in front of two windows, and Mike’s shirt pocket is pointing to Will. Jonathan deviates from the bordering Mike thing him and Will have been doing, but Will sticks close to Mike.

The hand touch that we don’t really see, but definitely happens, has a different meaning within the context of Will trying to comfort Mike. It’s similar to the pinkie boop in season two between Mike and Will. They’re in a situation where doing anything else might not be okay. Mike holding Will’s hand in that scene wasn’t safe, not like it was in Will’s room.

I think the same thing is happening here. These two shots of Mike (and Will) are before and after that shift. Mike looks visibly more relaxed. So this seems to be less of a accidental hand touch, and more of a subtle comforting gesture in an unsafe environment.

Then they’re all out of there, and Mike and Will are sticking close to each other. What Will’s been doing in season four is comforting Mike the same way that Mike did in season two. But with Mike there’s the added layer of paralleling Joyce and her anxiety. Which is mentioned by Will, and has a pretty good chance of relating to Mike as well.

The van scene is the exact same thing- just with more direction. Mike’s spiraling and Will tries to fix it, even though it hurts him to do so. In season two, it hurt Mike to tell them to sedate Will. And he was in pain when they were trying to get through to Will in the shed. It’s not unequal. It’s just different.

When they can’t get El a flight, Will bumps his arm into Mike’s. Everything Will’s doing is in response to Mike starting to panic. And it works, because it’s Will. In the same way that Mike was allowed to take care of Will in season two, when Dustin and Lucas weren’t.

And Mike’s letting Will be the person to reassure him that everything's okay. He’s actively looking to him, and Will’s answering.

#too many content blocks again #welp gotta go slplit this in to two very unequal parts #byler #my writing #the lights #stranger things #mike wheeler

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autumnmist101 · 5 months

Text

Secret Life Aftermath

“Ah!” Scar yells falling onto the main street of Scarland. He opens his eyes, blinking away the dizziness before looking at a curious Jellie.

“Oh man Jellie. You wouldn’t believe it.” Scar says sitting up. “It was the craziest thing. I was in Secret Life, and lost all my friends, became a huge villain and I— I won. . . I— I won. . . But. . . it didn’t— it didn’t feel like a game. It— It felt real.” Scar’s smile faulters as Jellie nuzzles against him. “Oh my gosh.”

He picks her up, scratching under her chin as the guilt begins creeping. . . He had killed them. . . He had killed so many of them.

“There were so many— so many deaths Jellie, and— and I was the cause of it. Oh no.” He frowns before Jellie gives a meow. She hops out of his arms and goes to a chest, pawing at it. However, Scar hadn’t listened. She meowed again, much louder this time for Scar to blink.

“Jellie can’t you see I’m having a crisis?” Scar says for her to meow and scratch at the chest once more. Scar gets up and walks to it.

“Honestly, I don’t know what could be in here that could—” Scar stops as the chest opens to reveal his average mess of blocks and such, however in the middle of it all laid a pair of elven ears. A common staple of his first few hermitcraft shops. He looked at his cat.

“You’re a genius.”

______________________________________________________________

“Sweet dreams are made of thee. Who am I to disagree? Traveled the world and the seven seas. Everybody’s looking for something.” Pearl sings walking through her base, three shulkerboxes in her arms. She had adjusted well back into Hermitcraft after losing to Scar in the finale. Though she would admit seeing Gem in her post game state had been quite an emotional rollercoaster. Nevertheless there was still much work to before the end of the season and no time to waste.

“Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be use by— Woah!” Pearl yells tripping over something. After shaking out the dizziness of the fall, she rolls over and finds a chest. She slowly stands, dusting herself off before going to the front of it.

“I don’t remember leaving a chest here.” She says pulling out a pickaxe. She digs down a few blocks only to find no observers. She blinks before letting out a chuckle.

“Hermitcraft. We’re safe.” She tells herself, patching up the hole. She then opens the chest to find it full of Scar’s Eleven cookies as well as a few bits of Scarland merch. However in the center of it all sat a single book. Pearl takes it, opening it to find just one line of text. She gives a sad smile.

______________________________________________________________

“Okay, how should I start this?” Grian questions to himself as he sours around his base. He had had this question rolling around in his mind for an hour now. However couldn’t fully commit to thinking about it due to other projects needing his attention.

“Okay, how did the last time go? Mmmm. Well a bit better than Scott’s time. Mmm.” Grian hums before landing on one of the stones that overlooked the entryway of Scarland. He had debated flying over first thing when Scar had come back to the world. However decided it best to give the man time to process his victory.

“Pour fella’s probably just realizing everything was real.” Grian sighs before noticing someone flying over. However that one soon became two.

And then three.

And four

And five.

Grian hears a rocket sound behind him before turning to see Tango pass by and join the flock of flying hermits at the entryway of Scarland. Grian himself, having his interest piqued, flew over as well, however remained atop the entry structure. He peaked out to find not only Tango, but also Gem, Etho, Cleo, Impulse and Pearl as well. The group stood in a circle bashfully taking out booklets and chatting.

After a bit, each one begins placing down shulkers, comparing what was inside. Grian debated on using his powers to see in, but knew the glowing purple would give him away. Finally, after Pearl got out a crafting table and made something, the group piled their shulkers next to Jellie before Pearl popped down a lectern. Leaving a book on top of it. The group then dispersed for Grian to swiftly fly off and look busy by the back of his base as Tango passed by once again. Though once he was sure everyone had gone, he flew back to the pile of shulkers. Checking around and telling Jellie to stay quiet, he peaked in.

“Holy Mother of Jackpot!” He exclaims finding one filled with quartz blocks, and another filled with multiple stacks of the different log types. His mind whirled as he checked the others to find similarly important blocks for Scar’s builds.

“What made them want to give Scar all this stuff?” Grian questions before spotting the book. He walks over and reads it.

“Oh— Oh Scar.”

______________________________________________________________

“Okay. Okay. New day. All swept up— Not swept up. Slept up. That’s still not the right grammar but we’re going with it. Anyway, time to get to work grinding so we can start the interior of— Oh!” Scar rambles flying to the main gate where he finds a big stack of shulkers.

“I don’t remember leaving a shulker monster here. Why is— Why is this here?” He questions before looking around. Jellie meows, walking up to nuzzle his leg.

“Hello!? Did anyone leave a shulker monster here?” Scar laughs, “Whose even is this?” He opens it.

“OH!” He cheers making Jellie jump, “Oh we’ve hit the motherload! Ha ha ha! Provided no one’s actually left it here, of course though you know what they say. . .” Jellie tunes him out, deciding to take a more direct approach. She saunters to the lectern, leaping onto the shulker next to it, before meowing.

“Yes Jellie. I’ll get you your breakfast in a moment. I’m just saying that you know finders keepers, looserssss I still can’t remember the rest of the term.” Scar continues as he climbs to the top of the shulker pile. Jellie however, notices a skeleton swiftly walking their way from the inside of an unintentional mob farm, and aiming their bow at Scar.

She hops down just as an arrow lodges in Scar’s shoulder knocking him off the top of the pile. However his footing had apparently given out because after he fell from the top, he stumbled over the lectern and fell with it into a mess on the ground. Jellie meows.

“How was I supposed to know it was there?” Scar huffs removing the book from his head. After standing and fixing the lectern— and making a mental note to block off that area— he looked at the book. Apparent it had been signed as from ‘all the ones he wronged.’ He gulps.

“Well Jellie cross your paws and toes because there’s only two ways this can go.” He says before opening the book and finding a single line for the former villain.

Yes, we can still be friends.

Hi! Meant to post this yesterday but I hope you enjoyed. Happy Holidays to all and a Merry New Years too!

#goodtimeswithscar #secret life #traffic life series

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thefangirltreehouse · 5 months

Text

general observations (cyberpunk 2077)

just to preface, i’ve not played through the main story at all since 2021 on my base playstation four and i’m currently replaying on my playstation five. i played as fem!corpo!v both times. this will probably have continued updates as i get further into the endgame.

“don’t look now, but that’s jenkins’ girl.” i know it’s probably not intentional but that sounds like a loaded statement.

the way kerry calls fem!v “doll” is so fuckin’ cute.

wakako calls her “honey” which again, very cute. also was dying at her “is this the dali lama?” when v sarcastically implies she simply couldn’t fathom murdering for money.

the peralez’s are one of those couples and i cannot get that out of my head.

fuck the voodoo boys. i didn’t pay much attention the first play-through and ended up siding with them because of how much the game makes it clear that you shouldn’t trust corpos and i hadn’t wrapped my head around the evelyn stuff. choose netwatch and felt a little better this time.

joshua still makes my skin scrawl and i dislike those like him irl but i wish we had more interactions like what happened with vasquez - him seeing v as a legitimate dangerous liability. (i’m genuinely surprised they didn’t do that with river, surely he done some digging into v?)

i’m terribly paraphrasing but i’ve noticed there is a couple of thugs in a coronado / arroyo side mission that are like “yo, that’s v.”

i saved brick and royce, kinda disappointed you’re stuck with royce in the totentanz mission - nice to see dum dum remember v by name and how nippy v gets over jackie’s mention.

royce - or millitech obviously kill brick because his grave is there

honestly i just wanted more of the ol’ samurai geezers.

i forgot just how many npc’s hit on fem!v in comparison to male!v like, fingers guards, jacob, the roadie, general population, the bargest guards when leaving the black sapphire (that might be both v’s), they also say “ooh! you little whore!” and also kerry’s “nice rack” dig at johnny. not to mention how many folk call her a bitch, slut, cunt and white during combat.

skippy’s disturbia never gets old, especially considering it’s seventy-years-old at that point.

i still don’t understand why there isn’t an option to give kerry back his guitar - that he clearly wants back - if you’ve met him before the padré side-quest.

really not a fan of having to build quickhacks when you’re essentially buying a blueprint.

“where’s kerry been hiding you?” oh he definitely told them the ‘new output’ shtick.

jesus christ it is so much easier to make money now.

i know it’s the future and things are a little more blasé plus he’s an old, jaded rockstar but i was a little taken aback with just how much kerry calls us cracks “whores, cunts, sluts and bitches” like chill.

a little disappointed aurore had no intention of fucking v.

i can’t stand grimes but i wish we had one more mission for lizzy wizzy

style-wise, phantom liberty is a massive step-up but the clothing in this game is atrocious especially if you want to wear anything girly.

it’s nice to be able to see the colour of v’s hair this time.

i love my little type-66 avenger.

corpo!fem!v is the perfect foil to johnny. also love how some the most notable people in johnny’s life are women. alt, rogue, denny, nancy and depending on your choice, v.

i don’t really ship johnny with v, but the “old married couple” dig was spot-on.

i’m personally conflicted on so-mi, but i’d probably lean towards saving her. that said, i fundamentally believe v wouldn’t. she’s looking for a lifeline and so-mi purposely dangled it over her. she’s not got beef with the nusa, they’re offering what so-mi cannot.

still cannot stand the photo-mode filters.

i’m forever curious about the sobchak cut storyline that was given to river and takemura.

vik’s mocking, “ooOOoooh” towards zetatech and not being allowed drink on the job.

leigh’s acting when johnny simply takes v’s body after the rogue arasaka mission and just the entire langley section are so well executed. v and river’s farewell’s in langley and in the badlands will always break my heart.

sampson’s grave just read’s “he loved his car.”

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #v cyberpunk #johnny silverhand #jackie welles #kerry eurodyne #judy alvarez #panam palmer #rogue amendiares #alt cunningham #goro takemura #river ward

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samynnad102687 · 7 months

Text

Marauderstober Oct 3rd

Valkyries- Fall Movie Night

1536 words

Lily was getting everything ready for their first fall movie night of the season and she was having trouble debating on which movie they should start with. They could go cute and fluffy Disney movies and work their way into the horror movies or they could start with the horror movies and work their way back into the cute and fluffy Disney movies. Personally, it made more sense to build up to the horror movies.

Mary and Marlene would be coming over after work and she had already told all of the boys that they were not allowed to come over or call them about anything unless someone was dying in the hospital. Sirius complained about it but that was about it.

When Lily looked at the clock, she still had an hour to set everything up. She went into the kitchen to grab the drinks and start making the popcorn. She had grabbed the sweets as well since you can’t have popcorn without chocolate to mix into it. Lily had also planned some alcoholic drinks for after they got started. Luckily, it was Sunday and they all had the day off tomorrow.

Lily brought the tray of drinks and snacks into the living room and cued up the first movie option. Mary showed up around twenty minutes later and Marlene was ten minutes after her. They both took off their boots and jackets and hung them up before plopping down on the couch next to Lily and Marlene grabbed a drink.

“You couldn’t have waited five more minutes to dig into the food and drinks?” Lily asked exasperatedly.

“No. I’ve had a long day and people have been stressing me out. Why is there no alcohol in this?” Marlene complained.

“Because it’s too early to start drinking. I have the other drinks ready but not until after the movie starts.”

“Ugh. What movie are we watching anyway?”

“I was thinking about Halloweentown,” Lily said hopefully.

“The first one?” Mary asked.

“Well, yeah. Whoever thought of starting a series in the middle.” Lily shook her head.

“How many are there again?” Marlene questioned.

“Four but they changed the main actress for the fourth one for some stupid reason,” Lily said, annoyed.

“Hmm. Okay, do you have the first one ready?” Mary asked as she grabbed the bowl of popcorn.

“Yeah,” Lily replied as she picked up the remote and turned toward the telly.

Halloweentown started and Lily was happy. It had been a little while since she had last seen this movie but she still remembered most of it. Marnie was complaining about not being able to go out trick or treating and her mum refused to tell her why. It kind of reminded her of when she was younger and Petunia refused to take her trick or treating and refused to tell anyone why. She found out later that she was trying to hook up with her boyfriend at the time. Mum was not pleased when she found that out.

Around the time that Marnie and her siblings snuck onto the bus to go to Halloweentown was when Marlene got up to get the alcoholic drinks from the kitchen and make some more popcorn. She must have really had a stressful day if she couldn’t even wait until the movie was half over to start drinking.

“Anybody else want anything since I’m in here?” Marlene called out from the kitchen.

“Grab the pretzels,” Mary called back.

Lily figured it was probably a good idea to have a bathroom break since they had already paused the movie. The first couple drinks apparently wanted to completely skip her stomach. When she got back to the couch, Marlene was back with more snacks and her drink which was already half gone.

“Good god, Marls. How stressful was your day?” Lily asked as she laughed a little.

“It was exhausting and I’m going to enjoy my day off tomorrow.”

“Same, honestly. Are we ready to start again?” Lily asked as she sat down.

“I’m ready,” Mary said at the same time that Marlene said, “Yep.”

Lily turned the movie back on and they settled into their new positions. Mary had moved to the floor in front of Lily and Lily started to play with her hair absentmindedly. Marlene had moved to the armchair and was laying in it with her head on one arm and her feet hanging over the side of the other arm. She also had a bowl of popcorn on the floor by the chair so she could reach it easily.

When the movie ended, Lily was ready for a drink and made her way into the kitchen. She had found a recipe online to make her drink look like brains and she wanted to try it. Lily pulled out her phone and pulled up the recipe again. It seemed simple enough. After she made it and walked back into the living room, Marlene saw her drink and immediately crossed her arms.

“Why didn’t you make me one?” Marlene grumbled.

“Did you ask?” Lily countered.

“Well, no but still. You could have made us one when you were in there.”

“And you could have asked when you saw me going into the kitchen.”

Lily had already made them both a drink but left it in the kitchen on purpose.

“Well, fine. I’ll just go and make my own then,” Marlene huffed as she pulled herself off the chair and stomped into the kitchen like a petulant child.

It took longer than Lily would have expected before Marlene grumbled again about being lied to.

“Thought you said you didn’t make me one.” Marlene appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I never said I didn’t. You just assumed I didn’t.” Lily shrugged as she fell back onto the couch.

“I- I but I, oh nevermind.” Marlene sputtered before going back into the kitchen and grabbing both of the drinks for her and Mary.

“Thanks,” Mary said when Marlene handed her the drink.

Now that everyone had a new drink and they were stocked up on snacks, Lily was debating on if they should start another movie or just start talking shit about the boys. Lord knows they could get into trouble doing practically anything.

“Do you guys want to watch the second one? It’s still pretty early and then we can order some pizza or something for actual food instead of filling up on popcorn and sweets,” Lily suggested.

“The second one has Kalabar’s son, right?” Mary asked curiously.

“Yeah, did you know the actor who played Kal and the actress who played Marnie got married in real life?” Lily supplied the random fact that she had read at some point during her set up for their movie night.

“Really?” Marlene asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah. I read it earlier.”

“That’s cool. Yeah, let’s watch the second one and order some pizza. My body is going to hate me if I just snack all night,” Mary said easily.

Lily laughed lightly before pulling out her phone and putting in the pizza order. Once she had that set up, she started the second movie. They could always talk about the boys later, even though it is typically more fun with Peter since they can get the inside scoop from him.

The pizza came quickly and all three girls sat around the table as they dug in and continued watching the movie. They had got a little distracted talking about how fit the actresses and actors were and none of them could agree on any of them. Which was probably a good thing, then they wouldn’t go for the same person if they were to ever break up with their current partners.

By the time the second movie had finished, they had finished the pizza and Marlene had gotten up to make another drink. Lily wasn’t sure how many they had each had but she was starting to get a little tired and wired at the same time. She didn’t know what to do with the random bursts of energy. When she looked over at Marlene, she could see that she was getting into her sleepy phase as well. Mary was the only one who seemed relatively alert.

“Do you guys want to watch the last two next time or start the third one now?” Lily asked and she was hoping they chose the former instead of the latter.

“Next time sounds good. I’m getting kind of tired,” Marlene said sleepily. “Do you mind if I crash here tonight?”

“That’s fine. Do you want to sleep out here or in the guest room?”

“Guest room sounds good.” Marlene practically fell out of the chair when she tried to get up.

Mary helped Marlene get to the guest room while Lily cleaned up the snacks and empty cups from earlier. She would have to plan for the alcohol next time and she hoped that Marlene wasn't as stressed. After everything was cleaned up, Lily turned off the telly and headed up to her room before Mary came in. All in all, it was a good first movie night for the fall season.

@seiworf @thebibutterflyao3 @cazzythefrogking @clementinewoolf @lavenderhaze @literally-the-prettiest-star @maladaptivewriting @multiimoments @emjayeingray @heartsoncover @remusregulusrosekiller @accuratewhereabout

@belowthestarrs

#dead gay wizards #marauders fandom #marauders fanfiction #lily evens #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #marylily #marauderstober

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singswan-springswan · 1 year

Text

help I did more

words: 1407

rating: teen and up

warnings: attempted drowning, mentions of kidnapping

read here on ao3| part one | part three | part four | part five

@accidental-spice

Lucy’s memory of the drowning part is a bit fuzzy. She remembers the start and end pretty well. To start, Isabel answered a call at the marina. Something about public drunkenness or nuisance, or a third obscure uncertainty. She shot Lucy a wry smile and said it’d be good practice.

“Crowd control, boot.” She laughed. “We’ll see what you got.”

Lucy hadn’t looked forward to it. The group in question was an unhinged sort of rowdy when they showed up on scene. Their boat was docked. They’d invited her on board for a formal reprimand. She lost track of Isabel somehow. Trouble at the far end of the pier. A man and his kid needed immediate assistance, and Lucy was just wrapping up so it shouldn’t have been a problem.

Then she got tasered. And hogtied. And thrown in an honest-to-God dog crate. She wasn’t sure where the op went sideways, or what exactly she said to piss the partygoers off, but it was golden hour. Rationale took the anchor off portside at this time of day, especially when the booze ran freely. They were probably just anxious to start the fun offshore, and getting a citation before leaving harbor had to have been a real stick in the mud.

Lucy didn’t respond like she should have. She was disoriented, and panicking was such a natural reaction she didn’t think better of it at all. By the time she’d gotten her bearings, they’d smashed her cam and radio to itty bitty pieces.

Someone asked what they should do with the meddlesome pig on board. Someone suggested they push her off the side. Everyone laughed. So they did just that.

This was the part where things got fuzzy. She remembers trying to scream, but then her head was underwater and she stopped, registering the fact that she’d need to save her air. Not that it made much difference. The cage tilted and slammed against her as it sank. Lucy panicked. She really didn’t mean to, but she was in pain and only halfway coherent, and there was already water up her nose. She lost her sense of direction pretty fast.

Her main mission had been to twist free of the duct tape, but between the burn in her sinuses and the chill of the water, it was difficult to focus on any one point of weakness. There were generous layers of tape on her wrists.

Anyway, she lost track of the time she spent down there. Her arms ached. Her head was pounding from the pressure. She was going to drown at the bottom of a marina before even taking the final exam. It was maddening. And frightening. She did everything wrong in a blind frenzy, wasting her oxygen and such. And the water was dark because the sun was just going down, but she does remember seeing a large shadow take shape through the murk, and she remembers thinking that the only thing worse than drowning in a marina was being eaten by a sea monster after drowning in a marina.

The details after that are lost on her. Her vision was spotting out by then. There are sensations drifting around the backside of her subconscious, like the sound of metal snapping, and a strong pair of arms maybe. She’s about to give up and inhale saltwater when a stern voice in her ear tells her not to, and she’s so scared and dazed and close to blacking out that she doesn’t register the fact that she’s still underwater and should not in any circumstance be hearing voices at this time.

She loses a handful of seconds, where she must have really dropped limp, because when she blinks again she’s choking on a fist beneath her ribs. There’s a jumble of motion that she can’t interpret. The weightlessness of water scrapes away and gravity settles in. A calloused hand tugs off the gag in her mouth.

Lucy notes that she remembers, later, but now her brain is mush because she’s coughing, spewing up whatever she can’t stand to keep. Salt clings to her lips; she can’t tell if it’s tears or ocean spray. The sensation of tearing plastic runs up her arms as she hacks up her stomach on the cool surface she finds herself occupying, and then her hands are free. She fumbles to brace herself where she’s slumped against something firm and rough—a rock? A kind of boulder?

There’s a presence beside her. Just at her hip, warm and steady, and a hand on her arm like it’s natural. Her brain fills in the gaps. It must be a person, which makes a lot of sense. Someone saved her from drowning, and the humiliation that comes with drowning in that specific way. She’s rasping out a thank-you as soon as the words materialize at the back of her throat. There might be a low response—she can’t hear past another coughing fit—but it’s nice to imagine either way.

She shoves at her stinging eyes. They’re blurred and raw from the water, possibly the pressure too. It takes a few firm blinks to clear her vision. Every full breath helps bring a bit of color back.

She’s been dumped on the shore, just past the wall against the docks, easily blocking the whole marina from view, despite its otherwise proximity. The water is close enough to lick her boots. It’s a low shelf of rocks she’s sprawled atop, slick with spray now that the tide is in. Looks like a drop-off. A larger stone brims the surface by her ankles, and there leaning against it is her savior.

He’s almost fair, with a stern jaw and solid build. Lucy would find his eyes pretty if they didn’t look like shark eyes, piercing and slit-pupiled as they are. But that’s not his most notable feature. Gills carve the length of his neck, feathery fins trace his forearms, and spiny rays fan up through his short hair, where his ears are supposed to hang out. The sight has so jarringly sidestepped what Lucy expected to see that her brain blows an already-shot fuse, and she panics again in the half second it takes her eyes to see him.

She chokes on a squeak and scrambles to get away. Her elbow bangs against a rock and it hurts like it should but it doesn’t break her focus because the pain is of secondary concern. Her voice is high and crazed when she shouts. “What the hell?”

The reaction seems to spook him. He lurches back with a startled expression, slipping on the wave-worn stone. Before Lucy can amend her composure he twists and dives underwater, snapping his lower half up to expedite the exit and… and…

That’s a fish tail.

A silky blue fin smacks the surface less than two meters away, disappearing in a splash of salt that hits Lucy square in the face. She sputters. She gapes and sputters, because what else is she supposed to do?

That was a fish tail. That guy wasn’t human.

Her brain has been abused enough in the last ten minutes; there’s no way she’s wrapping her mind around any of it any time soon.

A merman saved her life. She can tell that much.

It takes five minutes for Isabel to find her, still sitting dumbly on the rocks, a picture-perfect mess. Her hair is unsalvageable, clinging to her neck and the corners of her mouth. There’s still duct tape left in chunks around her wrists. She’s totally soaked; her gun is probably waterlogged.

“Chen!” Isabel grabs her arm and hauls her up, sounding unusually worried—but Lucy is too shellshocked to be considerate about that. “What happened?”

Lucy manages to swallow. She’s been savoring the way the air tastes, still staring at the spot two meters away. “They assaulted me.” She brandishes her raw wrists. “I—almost drowned.”

Isabel might be giving her one of those signature looks. It’s hard to tell. Lucy doubts that getting kidnapped and almost drowning is the most dramatic thing she’s watched a rookie go through in her days as a TO. This is California. Second craziest scene for law enforcement, after Florida.

But Isabel doesn’t brush Lucy off—instead, her hand turns firm and her voice goes steady. “I can’t leave you alone for five minutes, boot. Come on, shift’s over. We’ll get water police to track them down.”

It’s almost a relief to be dragged away.

#chenford #chenford fic #the rookie #the rookie fic #my writing #lucy chen #tim bradford

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onlymingyus · 1 month

Text

Guilty (teaser)

pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff

summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?

w/c; 23.6k ( 1.3k and some change -- this teaser)

this fic will be released sunday 4/14 at 3 pm est to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here

3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️

Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late.

Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me.

Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up

Soonyoung ❣️: Love you

Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe

Y/N 😘: Missing you

Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️

Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed

Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you

“Hello?”

“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.”

“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”

“I did check it.”

“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?”

“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…”

“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.”

“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.”

READ THE FULL FIC NOW ON PATREON

#seventeen smut #woozi smut #hoshi smut #svthub #jihoon smut #soonyoung smut #seventeen angst #woozi angst #hoshi angst #jihoon angst #soonyoung angst #svt smut #svt agnst #seventeen x reader #woozi x reader #hoshi x reader #jihoon x reader #soonyoung x reader

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master-sass-blast · 2 years

Text

Better (Even Just a Little).

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Chapter One, Part Five: Chapter Two, Part Five: Chapter Three, Part Six: Chapter One, Part Six: Chapter Two, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve

Summary: "You can still remember the first time you saw a rainstorm –you’d just moved to Republic City to study at the city’s university. There’d been heavy, angry gray clouds blanketing the sky. The air had been thick with humidity, like a polar bear dog’s undercoat. And then the calm before the storm had shattered, and the sky had wept onto the Earth below.

So, when you step out of a bookshop while on a Saturday afternoon date with your girlfriend and see rain pattering down against the pavement, you smile. You stop under the shop’s awning and inhale, relishing the freshened air.

And then you look over at Lin and realize she’s gone whiter than a sheet."

aka the Reader finally learns about Lin's capture by Amon and helps her cope with the lingering trauma therein.

Pairing(s): Lin Beifong x Reader.

Rating: G, but this is an emotional hurt/comfort fic so be advised.

Word count: 4.4k.

The recipe I reference in the fic.

You’ve always loved the end of summer in Republic City. There’s still enough daylight during the day proper to enjoy time outside after work, but the nights are cool enough that sleeping isn’t a sweaty, suffering mess.

And then there’s the rain.

You can still remember the first time you saw a rainstorm –you’d just moved to Republic City to study at the city’s university. There’d been heavy, angry gray clouds blanketing the sky. The air had been thick with humidity, like a polar bear dog’s undercoat. And then the calm before the storm had shattered, and the sky had wept onto the Earth below.

It’s different from the North Pole. You’re surrounded by water there, yes, but it is either still or is contained to the ocean basin. And blizzards don’t hold a candle to monsoons. There isn’t the same thickness in the air –the same heat. There isn’t the same aggression in a snowstorm as there is with feeling tons of water bucket down against the Earth.

And then you look over at Lin and realize she’s gone whiter than a sheet.

“Lin?” You put one hand on her back to steady her, just in case she stumbles or faints. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She’s clenching her teeth, jaw locked so tight you’re surprised it hasn’t seized. She swallows hard, staring out at the rain like it’s going to burn her. “I just don’t like rain. That’s all.”

You know Lin well enough to know she’s lying; she doesn’t exactly have the best poker face. And, more importantly, you’ve worked with enough trauma victims to know what a trauma trigger response looks like. We need to get her somewhere she feels safe. You put one hand on her upper arm. “Do we need to get you inside?”

She scoffs weakly. “We can’t just hang around the store like a couple of hooligans.”

“I’m pretty sure we could. They have a cafe section,” you reason, but you don’t try to press the issue further. She probably doesn’t want to deal with this in public. “My place isn’t too far from here. We could hole up there until the storm passes.”

Lin’s jaw works, and she nods jerkily. “Sure. Fine.”

You curl your hand around her upper arm, then hold up your other hand to catch the falling rain with your bending before ushering her onto the sidewalk.

***

The walk back to your apartment only takes about fifteen minutes –but it’s still enough for the light sprinkle to turn into a bucketing storm. By the time you reach the front step of your apartment building, wind is whipping rain across the street in sheets.

You toss the water accumulated over your and Lin’s heads down a storm drain, then follow her into the main floor vestibule of the building. You put your hand on the small of her back and hit the button to call the elevator.

She’s keyed up the entire ride up to your floor. You’re genuinely worried she’ll crack a tooth with how tightly she’s holding her jaw. She keeps her eyes fixed forward, but her gaze is distant. Glazed over.

You nudge her forward when the elevator rumbles to a stop. You escort her down the hall, then fumble in your purse with your keys. You look up when Lin flinches next to you as the sound of the rain gets louder. “Okay. It’s okay.” You get your apartment door unlocked, then usher her inside. “Go sit down.” Your heart wrenches when she flinches from another gust of wind sends rain pelting against the windows. “We could turn on the radio, if you want.”

“Yeah.” She drops down onto your couch, expression still pinched. She swallows hard, then nods. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“Of course.” You flip your radio on, adjust the dial until the sound of jazz music floats out of the speaker, then turn up the volume so it helps cover the sound of the rain. You look over at Lin –who’s at least relaxed a little now that she can’t hear the rain as clearly–then head over to the couch and crouch in front of her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You expect her to shake her head. To shut you out in some way. You wouldn’t be offended. Trauma is a deeply emotional, personal thing; Lin’s a deeply private person. All you want to do right now is support her and help her feel better –whatever that means to her.

She’s quiet for a long moment. She’s staring downwards, at where she has her forearms braced against her thighs. She glances towards the window, out at the falling rain, and the scars on her cheek twitch as she quickly looks away again. “It was raining. When Amon got to me.”

Your heart drops. Your eyes go wide with shock. I never knew Amon got to her. You swallow hard, then put one hand on her knee. “Lin –I’m so sorry.”

She grimaces. “The Equalists stormed Air Temple Island. We got out, but a sky bison’s not faster than airships.” Her gaze goes distant with recollection. Her jaw tightens, and some of the color drains from her face. She takes a deep breath, then gives a tight, minute shrug. “I stopped the airships and was captured.” She looks down at her hands. “Amon wanted to know where Korra was. I said no.”

You can gather that she got her bending back –well, obviously, but you also read the articles about Avatar Korra restoring the bending of Amon’s victims in Republic City after the defeat of the Equalists. But that doesn’t necessarily change anything. You’ve worked with enough trauma patients –car accidents, work injuries, abuse survivors–to know that the mind and body holds onto that pain for a long, long time (sometimes forever).

You grimace, heart aching for her. You study Lin for a moment, then squeeze her knee gently. When she looks at you, you ask, “Can I give you a hug?”

Lin swallows hard, then nods minutely before leaning into you.

You wrap your arms around her. You stroke her back with one hand, while the other reaches up to hold the back of her head.

Lin buries her face in your shoulder. She’s stiff for a moment, silent –then, she lets out a juddering sigh and relaxes into you. Just a little.

You take it for the victory it is.

***

You’re not certain how long the two of you stay like that. Frankly, you’d stay like this for an eternity if it’s what Lin needed to feel safe.

But, as it turns out, Lin doesn’t see things the same way.

“Spirits, how long have you been like this?”

You blink when Lin pulls away abruptly –you’d honestly gone into a peaceful, almost meditative state while holding her–then shrug. “It’s fine.” You consider for a moment, then grin and wink at her. “I don’t mind being on my knees.”

Lin scoffs and rolls her eyes –but a ghost of a smile appears on her lips, just for a moment. “Just –come here.”

You accept her invitation and let her tug you into her lap. You shift your weight so you’re not pinning her bad hip down, then wrap your arms around her shoulders. You incline your chin to give her more space when she lays her head in the crook of your neck, then settle back into holding her.

Lin doesn’t tolerate it for much longer, though. She only lasts a few more minutes before patting your thigh. “Go on. I don’t want to take up your time.”

“It’s not like I had massive plans for the day, Lin,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “You’re not derailing anything.”

“I’m glad I’m not,” she says. “I’d just like to read.”

“Ah.” You offer her a small smile, then peck her on her unscarred cheek before standing. “In that case, I suppose I can be agreeable.”

She smirks, bemused, and rolls her eyes while reaching for the bag she’d brought from the book shop. “I’m so glad.”

You amble into your kitchen, but you watch her surreptitiously for a bit, just to make sure she’s settling in alright. She’s still tense –no surprise there–but eventually she seems to settle into her book enough to tune out the rainstorm. You smile softly to yourself, then set about deciding what to do.

You weren’t lying earlier. You didn’t have any grand plans for today. Aside from going out with Lin, you’d kept today clear to relax. I’m kind of hungry… You peruse through your cabinets to see if there’s anything that sounds good, then spy a recipe card you’d left on the counter; you’d found it in a newspaper and cut it out to try later. Spiced apple cookies… You scan the card, then nod to yourself. I actually have what I need to make these. Sweet.

Unbeknownst to you, Lin looks up from her book when you start rummaging in your kitchen and pulling ingredients out. She watches you for a few moments, then asks, “What are you doing?”

You jump, startled. You set your jar of flour on the counter –a massive, thick jar with a locking lid that’s nearly the size of your torso–then turn to face her. “Baking. I’ve got a cookie recipe I’ve been meaning to try.”

Lin arches one eyebrow –but her teasing smirk belies her disbelief. “You bake?”

“What, is it that hard to believe?”

The smirk grows. “And here I thought all you knew how to do was devour the take out I bought for you.”

You stick your tongue out at her –which elicits a chuckle from Lin–the resume rummaging through your cabinet for ingredients. “I like food, Lin. Do you really think I wouldn’t know how to make it for myself?”

“Fair enough. What’s the recipe for?”

“Spiced apple cookies.” Lin makes a hum of approval as you finish lining up the dry ingredients on your counter. You step towards the fridge, then stop and grin at her over your shoulder. “If you’re nice, I might just share them with you.”

She chuckles again, then returns her gaze to her book.

***

Your oven finishes preheating by the time you’re done making the cookie dough. Once two trays of the cookies are in the oven, you tidy your kitchen up, wash the bowl you used to make the dough, then start mixing together the icing called for in the recipe.

“What are you making now?” Lin pipes up when she realizes you’re doing more prep work instead of cleaning.

“Making the icing.” You add some more powdered sugar, stir it in, then set the bowl on the counter once you’re satisfied with the thickness of the icing. “Hey.” You wait until Lin looks up, then hold up the spoon you used and waggle your eyebrows. “Want to lick the spoon?”

She scoffs, smirks, and goes back to reading her book. “Pass.”

You shrug, then say, “Your loss,” as you go about licking the spoon clean.

Once you’re done enjoying the fruits of your frosting labor, you toss the spoon in your kitchen sink and put away the ingredients for the frosting. You cast an eye to the little clock you keep in your kitchen, do the math of how much time the cookies have left in the oven, then turn the clock to face your living room before you go and join Lin on the couch. You sit next to her, close enough that your thighs are touching, and rest your chin on her shoulder. “How is it?”

“Not bad,” she answers as she shifts closer to you. She taps one of the pages of her book –a whodunit thriller you’d managed to talk her into picking up. “Some of the dialogue is a little stiff; it reads like the author wasn’t confident in writing the character interactions. But the plot pacing thus far is solid. And the process they’re using in the investigation work is actually decent.”

You chuckle, then turn your head and kiss her scarred cheek. “You sure you didn’t miss your calling as a literary critic?”

“Right,” she snorts. “I’ll pass.”

“Really? I always took you as the opinionated type.”

She arches one eyebrow at you, then smirks when you start giggling. “Doesn’t mean I like sharing them with everybody.”

“You’re sharing them with me.”

She adjusts her hold on the book so she can hold it open with one hand, then takes one of your hands with her free hand and interlocks your fingers. “You’re the exception.”

You beam. You feel like a firecat in a sunbeam, practically warmed from the inside out. You lay your cheek against her shoulder –then blink when you feel how much tension Lin’s holding in her body. Damn.

Lin remains silent, gaze still trained on her book, as you start gently prodding at her neck and shoulders. When you graduated to full blown palpating, however, she chuckles softly and glances over at you. “Something wrong?”

You state the obvious. “You’re super tense.” You continue gently squeezing and prodding at her, then note how she tenses further when a gust of wind blows more rain against your windows. “You can’t feel too comfortable right now.”

Lin grunts, apathetic. “It is what it is.”

You frown softly as you gently rub the back of her neck with your thumb. “Do you want me to rub your shoulders and neck?”

“You don’t have to take care of me,” Lin grumbles. “You’re not on the clock; I’m not your patient.”

“We’re girlfriends. We’re supposed to take care of each other.” When her jaw tightens, you take your hand off her neck. “If you don’t want–”

“No, no.” Lin sighs, then lets the book fold shut with a muted thump. She closes her eyes, then pinches the bridge of her nose. “No –sorry. I’m just…”

“It’s alright,” you murmur when her voice trails off.

“I don’t… I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not, Lin. I offered.” You brush some of her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear (which makes her flush adorably, and if this was a different situation you’d stop just to appreciate the warmth in her cheeks). “If you don’t want me to, I won’t –and you won’t hurt my feelings if that’s the case. But, if you think it’d help you feel better, I’m happy to do it.”

She doesn’t answer for a few long moments. But, eventually, she sighs and sets her book on your coffee table. “I think it would, yeah. Thank you.”

“Alright.” You gently kiss her scarred cheek –and your heart warms when she smiles and softens ever so slightly–then stand. “Let me get some massage oil.”

“You keep some here?”

“Well, yeah,” you call over your shoulder as you head to your bathroom. “You keep your armor in your apartment, yeah? You bring home paperwork, reports, that kind of stuff.”

“Just seems different.”

You let out an understanding chuckle as you emerge from your bathroom with a bottle of unscented massage oil in hand. “Well, I keep some on hand for my own use. The rest of it is for on-call work.”

Lin’s brows furrow –but then her expression clears and her eyes widen with recollection. “The hospital work. You mentioned working on surgery teams.”

“Exactly.”

“I wouldn’t think you’d need massage oil for that.”

“You’re right; I don’t,” you laugh. “But I work on-call for recovery teams, too. Post op and inpatient care and recovery, that sort of thing.” You gently shake the bottle in your hand. “Massage oil does tend to make that easier.” You grin when she smirks, then motion for her to shift forward on the couch so you can sit behind her. Before you sit, though, you cock your head to the side and regard her for a moment. “You might want to take your shirt off. I don’t want it to get stained from the oil.”

Lin smirks and begins unbuttoning the front of her shirt. “Right. That’s your only reason.”

You wink at her. “Plead the fifth.”

Once her shirt’s off, you get settled behind her, with one leg on either side of her. You pour a little of the massage oil on your fingertips, then tuck the bottle between the couch cushion and the arm of the couch before rubbing your hands together. “Alright, just lean back. Don’t worry about crushing me. Just relax as best as you can.”

Lin stays still as you start rubbing her shoulders. The room goes quiet, save for the music humming from your radio, the barely audible din of the storm outside, and the slight, slick noises of your oiled hands on her skin.

You’re so focused on tending to her tense muscles –on trying to get her to relax, dammit–that you nearly jump when she speaks again.

“I’m not good at this.”

Your hands still against the back of her neck. You blink a few times, trying to get your brain to shift out of “work mode” and onto what she’s saying. “You’re doing just fine.”

“No.” Lin sighs, heavy and ragged. She raises one hand, then lets it drop back against the couch. “No, I mean… this.” She swallows, neck flexing minutely under your touch. “Letting… letting someone else help.”

You hum in acknowledgement and resume massaging her tense muscles. “Believe it or not, I see that a lot. It’s…” You let your voice trail off, mulling over your countless experiences with clients, then let out a soft laugh. “It’s almost like we’ve got this ingrained instinct, as a species, to not ask too much of others. It’s like… it’s like this collective fear of being a burden.”

Lin gives a small nod, then lets out a breath when you hit a good spot by her shoulder blades. “Maybe.” She softens against you incrementally, relaxing into your touch, then lets out a dry, sardonic huff. “I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of entitled people in my day.”

“Outside of politics, then,” you agree, grinning, which gets another chuckle from her. “But I think, with things like this –with healing–we get shy about letting others help. I had one patient tell me that she’d avoided seeking treatment for years because she didn’t want me to hurt myself taking care of her. It was like she was projecting her experience with her pain onto others. That she thought if they helped her, they’d experience her pain and discomfort just as intensely as she did.”

“Yeah,” Lin agrees, voice barely above a whisper. She swallows again, then curls her hands into fists, flexing her knuckles. She cracks her knuckles, then says, louder, “But it’s not like this” –she gestures vaguely to you– “makes any of it stop. No offense.”

“None taken,” you assure her quietly. You watch her for a moment, then put your hands on her shoulders. “Take a deep breath for me. Nice and slow, in through the nose, and out through the mouth.” You breathe with her, then start massaging her neck when her body relaxes again. “Good job.” You stay quiet for a few moments, just so that she keeps relaxing, then murmur, “I understand what you’re saying… but I’m not entirely sure you’re looking at this the right way.”

It takes a few moments before she responds. “How so?”

“Not all healing is about making the ‘whatever it is’ go away, y’know?” You dig your thumbs into the muscles by her shoulder blades, then let out a little laugh when she groans in the back of your throat. “Is that good?” You smile when she nods, then keep going. “Some of my patients, I’m not treating them to make their condition go away. I’m treating them to manage their pain and give them a better quality of life. Some of them have life long conditions that they’ve been dealing with for years, and some of them have sustained injuries or illness and they’re just starting to learn how to accommodate those changes. It sucks, and it’s hard–”

“I think I get what you’re aiming at,” Lin interjects, voice warm with humor.

You chuckle. “But it’s worth it,” you finish. “It’s okay to feel good, even if everything doesn’t go completely away.”

“Thanks, Doc,” she quips dryly.

You roll your eyes, bemused, then lean forward and kiss the spot behind her ear. “And I’m glad I can help, even if it’s just a little bit.”

Lin goes still. Then, she shifts forward, turns, and kisses you softly. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you murmur against her lips before kissing her again.

She kisses you a little longer, even reaching up to cup the back of your neck, but eventually pulls away. “Do you need to check the oven?”

“I should, yeah,” you say after glancing at the clock. You stand when Lin moves out of your way, then say, “Let me get a towel for you, first.”

Once you’ve supplied her with a towel so she can wipe the oil off her skin, you wash and dry your hands at the kitchen sink before checking the oven. “Looks like the cookies are done.”

“They smell good,” Lin says as you set your baking trays on the stovetop. “Are you going to ice them?”

“They need to cool first. Otherwise, the icing runs right off.”

Lin “hmms” as she pulls her shirt back on –then pauses when she notices what you’re setting up on the counter. “What are those?”

“Oh, these?” You hold up a pair of delicate wooden cooling racks; the criss-crossing, spindly beams form a lattice-like structure in the center of the racks and slot neatly into the frame. “They’re cooling racks. My dad made them for me.”

Lin frowns and stands as she finishes buttoning her shirt. “Those look like they’re made out of wood. How’d he get them to stay together?”

“I think it’s all one piece.” You hand one off to her so she can inspect it, while you prop the other up on your counter and start placing cookies on the racks. “Obviously, in the North, cooling things off isn’t an issue–”

“I can imagine.”

You grin, then use the tips of your fingers to slide another cookie onto the cooling rack. “He was worried when I came here that I wouldn’t be able to get my baking to cool properly, since it’s so much warmer here. He sent these six months after I moved.”

“That was sweet of him.” Lin hands the other cooling rack back to you. “And it’s excellent craftsmanship.”

“He does some carpentry work,” you explain. “Once import trade opened to the water tribes again, he left in his twenties to study woodworking. He does a lot of work with luxury wooden items. A lot of bone inlay work, too.”

Lin’s eyebrows pitch upwards. “I wouldn’t think of wood as a luxury item.”

You flash her a crooked grin. “It is if you live somewhere where trees don’t grow.” You finish placing the cookies on the cooling racks, then set the bowl of icing next to the wooden racks. “We’ll give these a few minutes to cool, first.” You look up at Lin –who’s eyeing the cookies with mild curiosity–then surreptitiously reach out to the icing bowl and dip the tip of your index finger in.

Lin, of course, catches you before you can really do anything. She dodges when you try to swipe your icing-covered finger across her face, then catches your hand and traps you between the counter and herself. She narrows her eyes at you –but she’s smirking all the same. “Really?”

“Sorry,” you say without feeling sorry at all. You offer her a bright, impish smile. “Would you like a taste?”

“I don’t taste through my skin,” she fires back, tone sarcastic.

“Hey! For all you know, I was aiming for your mouth.”

Lin gives you a flat, unconvinced look. The corner of her mouth turns up when you giggle –and then she lifts your hand towards her mouth.

You suck in a soft breath. You can feel your heart thudding in your chest. You lick your lips as anticipation coils in your body–

And then Lin shoves your hand towards your face, forcing you to smear the frosting over your nose.

“Hey!” You let out a startled squawk, then laugh and wrench yourself free of her grasp. “You bitch! No fair!”

Lin smirks and shrugs. “Seemed fair to me.” She wipes her thumb along the edge of the icing bowl, then licks it clean. “Tastes good.”

You feign hurt, huffing as she returns to the couch, then reach for a towel so you can wipe your face clean. “I’m going to get you for that, Beifong.”

“I’m quaking in utter terror,” she quips back flatly.

By the time you’ve licked your “wounded” ego, the cookies have cooled off. You frost all of them, then put six on a plate and carry it into the living room, along with two cups of tea.

“They’re good,” Lin decides after taking a bite and swallowing. “They’re not so sickly sweet.”

“Eh, I like a good sugar-y cookie.” You grin when she rolls her eyes and mutters something to the effect of “of course you do,” then nod in agreement. “But these are good. Very appropriate for fall.”

She nods along, then sets her cookie on the edge of the plate. She takes your hand and squeezes gently. “I should thank you,” she says once you’ve looked over at her. “For everything you’ve done today.”

You blink, then wave your free hand dismissively. “Lin, you don’t–”

“I want to,” she insists, voice quiet but firm. She spares a glance at the window –it’s still raining, but not as hard as earlier–then swallows hard and looks back at you. “You made today easier. Thank you.”

You smile, soft and sweet, then lift your joined hands and kiss her knuckles. “Anytime, Lin. All you have to do is ask.”

She stares at you for a long moment, expression intense but otherwise inscrutable. Then, she drops your gaze and returns the gesture by placing a soft, lingering kiss against your knuckles.

It keeps raining. A news update around four informs you that the city shouldn’t expect the weather front to pass until later tonight, around ten.

So the two of you stay indoors. You sit on the couch, eat the cookies you made, read the books you got earlier, and listen to music on the radio.

#sass writes #lin beifong x reader #hurt/comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #which seems to be the theme for today #the reader finds out about lin's run in with amon #and helps her cope #but otherwise it's p tame #just v loving and fluffy #hands that heal

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