#this does not get explored enough. like the only character i think doesn't have family related trauma is alphys

[mar64ds]

I feel like most undertale main characters have gone through so much trauma related to their families that seeing sans and papyrus be a happy family might make them emotional but ultimately share that happiness with them. I think their brotherly love is so essential to this friend group, even if it's just by telling puns

[the-acid-pear]

Beau Isaac Wasserman is so funny because I literally have met characters from shock movies with less screentime and lines than him w way more personality I just don't know how he manages.

[alexiroflife]

Hello! May I request an angsty toji fic where reader finds out she's pregnant (post megumi) and she knows toji doesn't want anymore children so she just kinda leaves with little to no explanation? Maybe just a small note saying things aren't working out. It's up to you if it will be a hurt/comfort. Idk you don't have to do this request I don't want to overload you! I seriously love your writing. The way you right the character just warms my heart. I especially love ur hiding an Injury fic it was SO SO SO GOOD. 🩶🤍🖤

“promise”

toji fushiguro x reader

Synopsis: see above

to sum it up: you think it’s better to run away than to be the one to get hurt

WC: 5,668

Warning(s): angst, suggestive themes, yelling, pregnancy, mentions of abortion

You stare down at the plastic tube clutched in your trembling hands in awe, eyes blown with shocked grief as you peer closer to get a better look, as though those two bright pink lines could have been a trick of your vision.

Unfortunately, however, your vision remains just as crystal clear as it always has been. As you stand in your cramped apartment bathroom, illuminated by a flickering fluorescent gaze shining down from above, horror befalls you.

You’re pregnant.

You should have known sooner when you began feeling queasy every morning, taking trips to either your or Toji’s toilet to hurl out the contents of whatever swam inside your stomach. You always tried to be silent if Toji was around, for he slept like a dog that could not be woken even if a meteor struck earth, and you had been remarkably exhausted. You aren’t even sure if there is a word to describe how sluggish your entire mind and body had been feeling, but you wanted to rule out the very obvious answer to your problems before exploring it.

You begin to panic, your heart pounding in your ears and throat and every inch of your body you could feel the pulse, eyes blurry over the positive test. You’re conflicted. You don’t know how to feel. On the one hand, you would have been jumping for joy to learn that you are starting a new life with your boyfriend, to step into a new chapter of your lives and to provide his children with another sibling.

But hell, the celebration is far too naive and implausible to be had. The sage eyed man has told you time and time again that he does not wish to have anymore kids, that the ones he has are enough and he is not equipped financially or mentally to care for another brat. In honor of those wishes, you’re on the pill, and consequently, Toji has taken the opportunity to plow his load inside of you time after time after time.

And you really, truly should have known that with Toji’s uniquely abled body, what was meant to serve as a barrier and a means of contraception did not work.

You feel like throwing up. What would Toji say? What would he do? What are you supposed to do? Should you tell him, fill him in on what’s going on to risk rejection and abandonment, a nasty habit that Toji had to work to rid himself of when he met you? Would he even care? Would he listen?

You know Toji to be a very tough man, despite the softened interior he attempts to hide in others’ company that is only displayed for you and for his kids. If he has always been adamant about one thing, it’s been to never have kids again, to focus on where he fucked up before and to pour his attention into the little family he’s grown, the one that he has now.

His voice echoes through your head like the gong of a church bell striking upon the ear’s of a sinner.

“Hell, I already got my hands full tryna get Megumi through his teenage years. What the hell is another child gonna do for us?”

“That shit’s fuckin’ expensive. Not to mention, I’d have to baby proof the house again. That’s another expense.”

“If I was capable of givin’ you y’er own, I would, doll. But I ain’t cut out for it. You know that.”

You don’t even know why he would stress the matter so often. You suppose he’s caught the way your eyes linger on a mother tossing their giggling baby up and down into the air, innocent pools of joy beaming down at her each time it reaches the air and lands in her secure hold. Or maybe he’s seen the way you care so deeply for Toji’s kids as though they are your own, despite telling you when you first got involved with each other that he did not expect you to step into their lives in anyway - and yet, you have done that and more. You know how the kids must struggle each day with the trauma of losing their mother so early on, and you never wanted them to think that you were trying to step in as her replacement, but you love them so clearly, as much as you love the man who created them.

Which leads you to your next concern. How would the kids react?

It’s one thing for you, as their father’s girlfriend, to wander into their lives and help navigate them their teenage hood alongside the dark haired man, but to introduce an entire other child only leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

They may be crushed. They me turn to hate you, to despise how you have contaminated the life they have worked so hard to rebuild after numerous tragedies. And would Toji agree with them? Would he turn his nose up to you, that scowl of his melting over his harsh features as he shuns you just as he shunned every other woman who came after his wife and before you. Would he leave you? Would he kick you out of the world that has become your own because you failed to live up to your promise, though it technically isn’t your fault that you are pregnant now but it feels as though it is?

You can not stand the thought, of the man you love turning his once loving gaze stone upon the sight of you, of him pushing you further away, permanently, in the same manner that he tried to when he realized that he was falling in love with you, of watching Megumi and Tsumiki turn their backs to you as though the past four years of your lives had never happened, banning you from their acceptance forever more.

Tears well in your gaze, interfering with your vision. This can not be happening, you think to yourself, everything has been going so well, and now this? This is going to ruin your relationship with Toji for good. Even if you were not in a committed relationship with him, you assume that the idea of any woman getting impregnated by Toji would have been thrown away. You would be thrown away, just like all the others who gave Toji their bodies but not their hearts.

Not the way you have.

Your heart clenches thinking of just how much you love Toji and the kids, of how you would be willing to lay down your own life for the sake of them as Toji swears that he would for you all in return. Even so, despite the commitment to you that a man who swore never to be committed to accustomed, this would be going too far.

…You’re not even sure if he would love you anymore.

Now that you’re pregnant with his child, a child he never meant to have with you, you assume you will mean nothing to him any longer. In his eyes, you will simply become the slut that he took a chance on by a whim, carrying something he would never call his own. You believe the old Toji will resurface, the one who claimed not to care, the one who shoved women out of his bedroom before the sun rose in the sky, the one who often failed to remember to pick his kids up from school, the one who would no longer meet you at eye level but look down upon you, frown upon you for being so clumsy.

You know Toji is the one who did this, but this still feels like it is your doing. Like somehow, you trapped him and he now has no choice but to break free from the steel cage you have barred around him with your conception.

Your fingers clutch over the plastic, your eyes scrunching closed to release a fresh set of tears that cascade over your cheeks and onto the test. You can feel yourself mourning your relationship already, you can feel it slipping through your fingers, see it fading in the distance until it becomes nothing but a bittersweet memory that you can not determine as reality or a figment of your imagination any longer.

You tilt your head, bringing the test to your forehead as you think, grieve, cry. You mull over your options; you could hide this from Toji, get an abortion and never think of it again or you could tell Toji and lose him forever.

You open your bleary eyes, lashes decked with dewy tears, as another idea dawns upon you. You could leave, leave before Toji and the kids have a chance to leave you.

It’s a cruel thought, you think, especially abandoning those children without any proper explanation for them, but what else are you meant to do? You’d be doing them all a favor if anything by taking your leave without them having to be plagued by the knowledge of your unplanned pregnancy, of what they may view as a scheme to destroy their family in your new baby’s wake.

The thought kills you to even entertain. You had promised those kids that you weren’t going anywhere, that you’d stay with them for as long as they allowed you… but this is different. This is not what any of you had in your cards, how you believed your futures to go. Toji wants simplicity at home while he works through chaos through his occupation. He wants security, warmth, safety for you, Megumi, Tsumiki, and no one else. He would never welcome another child. You believe he’d be caught dead before approving of your pregnancy.

And therefore, you know what you have to do.

After taking a few more tests to ensure that the readings are accurate, which they are, you pledge to walk away. You pledge to leave the only man you’ve ever truly loved, the strongest family you’ve known, and the slim possibility that despite Toji’s wishes, he may accept you.

But you don’t want to take that chance and risk the humiliation and unplanned heartbreak. You’d much rather take matters into your own hands, and plan the shattering of your soul yourself.

You don’t sleep all night, for you’re too busy drafting about twenty different letters to Toji. Crumpled loosleaf paper litters the floor beside your bed as you try to think of how to best write down everything you want to say. You go through pages and pages until you are finally satisfied with the result, and the next morning, you slip the envelope into his mail slot and prepare to pack your life away.

It is late Sunday morning when Toji rises from his slumber. The first thing he does is lean over the sheets and drape his arm toward his nightstand to read your daily good morning text - only he finds there isn’t one. With pinched brows, he takes his phone to unlock it and visit your contact. Nothing.

The time reads 12:35 pm. Normally, you’re up and at it or even banging down his door by then to wake him. Maybe you’re just sleeping in?

He goes to give your cell a call, but nothing. Not only that, but your phone is also on do not disturb mode. His gut immediately swells with the suspicion that something is wrong. The dark haired assassin supposes he’s going to pay you a visit this afternoon as soon as he checks on the kids to ensure that they are alright.

His bedroom door opens with a creak, and he calls out to the teens gruffly through a yawn. When they don’t respond, he’s truly growing concerned.

He rounds the corner to prepare to head for their rooms when he finds Tsumiki and Megumi at the dining table. His brows furrow, his pace slowing as he takes in their faces. Tsumiki’s lips are pressed together tightly and the muscles in her face are scrunched as though she is about to cry, while Megumi stares ahead with empty eyes and a hardened exterior.

Toji frowns with quirked brows, approaching his kids. “What’s wrong with you two?”

His brunette daughter looks up at him with glassy eyes and wrinkled chin, lashes fluttering while Megumi does not bother to look at his father. Instead, he brings Toji’s attention to a torn envelope and a thick packet of papers pressed beneath the sixteen year old’s palm. Wordlessly, Megumi slides it toward him, brows slanting.

Toji, perplexed, looks between the papers and his children’s troubled faces. What is this letter? Overdue taxes? An eviction notice? That can’t be possible, because you had ensured that Toji and the kids’ place was secure long ago.

He crunches the papers in his hands and picks them up to read. The first thing that catches his eye is your scribbling handwriting, and the following words that send his heart plummeting to his ass:

This isn’t working out.

Toji whips his head up, baffled, and when he meets Megumi’s gaze again, his eyes are ablaze with resentment.

“What the hell did you do?” he growls.

The green eyed man is not even thinking before he’s dialing Shiu’s number, asking him to watch the kids for the next hour or so, and running out of the apartment after throwing rather unconvincing words of assurance over his shoulder to his kids, who are still with disbelief - Tsumiki with devastation and Megumi with rage, for surely his father pushed you away.

Toji does not bother finding a ride, electing to run to your place which is only a few blocks away. You two were just discussing moving in with one another, combining households, and this is what you spring onto him? Not even for him to stumble across first, but his kids who look up to you and love you like their own mother?

Oh, he’s fuming, a rush of emotions taking over his mind as it fuels his speed. The letter you wrote is still crunched in his fist, whipping through the air as he makes his way to you.

Dear Toji,

This is not working out.

But before you rampage and get angry with me, please let me explain. Let me explain how much I love you, how much those kids mean to me, and how every day I wake up I want to be greeted by all of your smiling faces. For the rest of time, forever. You are undoubtedly the only man for me, and I truly believe that. I know you may think I’m bullshitting because of how the beginning of this letter contradicts what im saying now, but it’s true. I have never loved another person the way I love you, and while it scared me at first when you were so stubborn and full of anger that you misdirected onto me, I stayed and I waited and I helped you and I’ve loved you through every single moment, ever week, every month, and every year. You brought purpose back into my life, and I can picture you scoffing because you’d say the same, but I mean it. You, Tsumiki, and Megumi are the best things that have ever happened to me. I love you all so much.

But in this case, that love is not enough.

I hate to be doing this to you, to the kids, but I have no other choice. Things aren’t going the way they used to, and it’s not your fault but mine. I’m the reason. And it is tearing me apart to know that and simultaneously know what I have to do in order to keep you and the kids happy. Stable. I wish I could explain to you more why I am doing this, but I can’t. Not just because I am dying to picture you reading this, but because I truly can not say. I do not want to ruin you guys’ image of me. While I think that’s a selfish thing to say because who knows how me leaving is going to hurt you all, you would not understand even if you knew the reason behind this.

By the time you are done reading this, I will be gone. I’m going away because as long as I am not with you all, I can’t stay here anymore. I am staying with my mother while I get my travel plans arranged, because I know how you worry when you do not know where I am or if im safe. I should be gone by Friday.

Please do not come see me. I have made my decision, and you will only be hurting us more by trying to stop me. I won’t be stopped.

Kiss and hug and apologize to Megumi and Tsumiki for me. I hope you find someone who fills the role of their mother, someone who knows how Megumi likes to do his homework in the silence of his room with no music or anything, completely isolated so he can focus. Someone who knows how to fix Tsumiki’s eggs properly - to add extra butter to the sides when you fry them so the edges get crispier. Someone who won’t try to feed Gumi’a demidogs because he hates when people assume they can coddle up to them upon first introduction. Someone who cares for the wholly the way I do and always will.

And you. I know how stubborn you are. I know how angry you probably are at me right now, and I will miss that about you, but please do not let that interfere with the possibility of falling in love again. Beneath the layers of grit, standoffishness, and indifference, you are a man with a big heart. For me. For your kids. For those you love and seek to protect.

You say you aren’t a good man, and while that may be true to you, you are an amazing partner and you’ve already become an amazing parent. I’ve seen you grow, and I am so in love with you and so proud of you. I know you’ll be okay without me. It maybe take some time, but you’ll adjust to what’s best. I promise.

With all the love that could possibly be harbored in this world, you are everything to me and that is why I have to go. I wish you every happiness this planet can offer you, and I know that without me, you can begin to find joy again.

Love,

Your doll

You had believed to time this perfectly, for you know that Toji usually does not wake until one, so soon as you are finishing up packing, you are trudging down the stairs to the leasing office to inform them that you will be moving.

You push open the door to the first floor, the breeze hitting you gently, and you round the corner only to be blocked by the last person you wanted to run into during this time.

Your eyes widen as you look up, the burly figure you have grown oh so familiar with over the years heaving as though enraged, ivy eyes crowding over slim pupils as Toji glares down at you, an image of indescribable fury.

Your heart drops and your words die in your throat. “T-Toji?” you whisper, horrified of an outburst. You are rattled by fear, having been so unprepared to walk into this. You did not put it past him to chase you down. But you figured that you’d be at your parents by the time he woke. Then, you could have at least told them to tell him off at the door.

But no. Instead, here he is, six feet and then some of bulking mass as he takes quick, deep breaths that expand the entirety of his chest.

You shift. “What are you doing here-“

“What the fuck is this?”

Toji swiftly, yet aggressively, lifts the papers in his hands, now damaged by his travels and his grip, shaking it firmly with the question. You gulp, lowering your eyes.

“Toji, I told you not to come…”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he swears firmly, and you jump, looking to see if anyone is around to hear you, as the two of you are standing outside your complex.

“We shouldn’t be- let’s just go inside,” you go to grab his arm, but he tears it away. He stares at you as though you have burned him, singed the heart in his chest from the inside out, and he is so unforgiving. So unforgiving before he hears directly from your mouth what this is about.

“I’m not doin’ shit until you tell me what the fuck this is, (Y/n),” he demands, his hand moving the papers about passionately with his speech, and you feel your heart hammering again. This is not how things were supposed to go. You are not supposed to be seeing him right now. “Cause I refuse- I fuckin’ refuse to believe that you’re breaking up with me.”

Your eyes gloss over as you look down at your feet, unsure of what to do or how to handle this confrontation. You can’t do this. You can’t, it’s too much. It’s too hard.

“…I am,” you mumble.

Toji steps forward, leaning down to get a peek of your face, his expression so angry that it worries you. “What?”

“I said… I am.”

“Uh uh, you better say that shit with your chest if you can write a whole damn letter about it,” he growls, fucking further as you continue to turn away. “Look at me,” he barks, and you cringe.

“Toji, don’t yell at me!” you shout back.

“What else do’ya want me to do, huh?” he throws his hands up. “How else do you expect me to react to this bullshit?! You’re leavin’ me? After everythin’ we been through, after everythin’ you and the kids’ve been through, you’re leavin? Are you fuckin’ serious?”

He takes a swift glance at the papers, the very sight sending him into a spiral, before he’s heatedly looking back down at you.

“I don’t buy this shit for one second. No. You’re not leavin’. Not in this world, or the next.”

“I am, Toji, the quicker you accept that, the easier it’ll be for everyone!”

“Easy?” he winces as though the prospect pains him. “You call this shit easy? You call up and tryin’ to abandon me easy? You call the kids waking up to your letter and reading it at the table before I saw it easy?”

Your face falls. “…what?”

“Yeah. You fuckin’ heard me,” he sneers. “Megumi and Tsumiki read this shit first. First thing in the morning, they see a letter about how the woman they love is leavin’ ‘em, just like their mom did, and for what?”

You close your eyes, his words stinging you as they cut through. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true, ain’t it? Y’er leavin’ us, (Y/n), and you didn’t even have the decency to say why!”

Guilt crowds you, like a blanket of darkness consuming you from overhead, and as Toji stands before you completely torn apart by your letter, you see the fear in his eyes, the sadness, the unspoken plea for you not to go.

You try your best to keep your composure as you turn away again. “I told you, I can’t tell you.”

“Fuck that,” he lifts the letter and tosses it to the ground with a thud. You gasp, watching it slam to the concrete pavement.

“Toji!” you exclaim.

“You think you can just leave without me comin’ to hunt you down and see your face so I can figure out what the hell is goin’ on? You must not know me at all.”

“Why do you always have to be so aggressive about everything?!”

“Of all fuckin’ things, (Y/n), I think I got a right to be aggressive about this. You were gonna leave without sayin’ goodbye!” he tosses his arm out to the side with the exclamation, brows twisting and teeth bearing. “Is that what our relationship means t’ya? You think you can just toss us aside?”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” you beg, a lump forming in your throat as the two of you stand face to face, arguing without a car about who will see you.

“Then tell me,” he shouts. “Cause you’re not givin’ me shit to go off of!”

“I told you already, I can’t,” your lips quiver.

“Then our relationship is nothing to you.”

“No, Toji.”

“Clearly it ain’t, cause I’d think it’d be worth an explanation if you’re runnin’ away!” you frown and shake your head, turning to walk back into the complex when Toji cuts you off, moving in your way. “You don’t think I know you? You don’t think I see it all over your face that somethin’s got you scared, and y’re takin’ off because of it? You think I don’t know what that looks like, (Y/n)? I did that shit. I did it all the damn time before I met you, and hell, I tried to run then but you wouldn’t let me, so what the hell makes you think I’m gonna let you now?”

“This is different,” you say shortly, afraid to reveal the tremble of your voice to the man before you. You keep your gaze down as you try to go around him again, but to no avail. He steps in your path. “Stop!”

“I ain’t stoppin’,” he says gravely, keeping his eyes to yours though you try to avoid contact with them. “Not until you spit it out. I’ll be damned if I got another broken home cause y’re fuckin’ scared.”

“I said stop!” you try to find some bass in your voice, but against your will, it falters when you yell. Toji eyes you carefully, reaching his hand out to grip your shoulder and steady you into place.

You scoff, attempting to pull away, but it’s no use. The dark haired man is everywhere, keeping you from walking away.

“You talk to me like the grown ass woman you are,” he tells you sternly, stepping in. “You use that voice I know you have, and don’t you ever let me catch you writin’ a letter to me about how you wanna break up instead of comin’ to talk to me. Y’understand?”

You exhale shakily, lips pressing together and brows curling. “I can’t.”

“Y’re still not tellin’ me why you think that.”

“Because I can’t, Toji. I can’t tell you. It’ll- it’ll fuck up everything!” you break, and Toji feels the pit in his stomach shift as he looks over your aggrieved expression, depicting the same exact things he feels.

“(Y/n),” he calls your name firmly, the sound of it on his tongue only inspiring the urge to cry more. You continue to shake your head though Toji isn’t exactly speaking, and his green eyes wander you with frustrated concern. “Y’scared of what I’ll do if you tell me?”

You freeze, slowly peeling your eyes to look at his, his face tense with grief. You stare at him for a moment, mouth gaping like a fish as all of your insecurities that talked you toward this ledge run through your mind once more.

“Don’t look surprised,” he says. “I know you like the back of my hand, and I know that you knew I’d be over here to stop ya.”

Your frown deepens, and this time as you look at him, you see every second of your future that you were quick to stomp dow. You see the unbridled, unfiltered love he holds for you as well as the blood curdling fear of letting you go.

“You have to understand,” you whimper. “I know how you’ll react, I- I can’t do this to you. You have to let me go.”

“What the hell could be so horrifyin’ in that head of yours to make you think that I won’t stick with ya through hell and high water?” he grits out, searching your swollen hues of (e/c) hesitation. “You’d do the same for me.”

“I know, but-“

“There’s nothin’ else to say. I ain’t leavin’ until you spill, and when you do, y’re comin’ with me.”

You look at him, pained. It’s a trap, you think. If Toji only knew, he’d be running for the hills instead of trying to track you down.

“Out with it, now.”

You can’t. You can’t tell him. He’ll leave you, he’ll reject you, he’ll turn you away, he’ll never let you see the kids again.

“(Y/n)!”

“I’m pregnant!”

The earth seems to freeze and time seems to slow. You scrunch your eyes, anticipating the worst to come as Toji takes in your words, his tensed expression melting slowly.

You don’t open your eyes to see his reaction. You keep your head ducked and your fists closed as the white noise of nature flutters into relevance. You’re trembling, terrified, and Toji can not move but instead proceeds to stare at you, stunned.

His words about not wanting any more kids run through your mind again as you await his response, and the suspense kills you as you do. You can feel his grip on your shoulder slacken before tightening again, and you are terrified.

He’s going to leave you.

You are quick to step away when the sentiment arises once more, Toji’s hand falling from you arm. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, still unable to look at him. “I’m sorry, I know that you don’t want any more kids. I know, an I thought we were being careful, but- I took five tests. They’re all positive.”

“You’re pregnant?” he echoes, and you still. You knew it. You knew this would happen.

“I told you, Toji,” you exhale. “I told you that I couldn’t tell you, and now everything’s a mess.”

He twitches. “Hold on-“

“Don’t tell me all of a sudden you want kids,” you snap. “I know how strongly you feel about it.”

“So instead of talkin’ to me, you were gonna leave? Knocked up? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“What other choice do I have?!” you cry. “You don’t want more kids, and if I kept it, it would only be a nuisance to you. And Megumi and Tsumiki?”

He scrunches his face. “What about ‘em?”

“How do you think they’d feel if the woman you’re dating after their mother died surprised them with a new baby? They’d be crushed!” you say shakily as salty tears well in your eyes again. “I can’t overstep your boundaries. I just can’t. It’s easier for me to go.”

“And do what, (Y/n)? Raise a kid on your own without any help?”

“I can’t bare you leaving me!” you suddenly confess, tear striking past your cheek.

Toji examines you and frowns. “What are y’talkin’ about? You’re tryin’ to leave me!”

“So I can prevent the inevitable from happening,” you huff. “I’m okay with it. I’ve made peace with everything. That’s why you need to just let me go-“

“After everythin’, you think I’d throw you away because you’re pregnant with my kid?” Toji says incredulously. You falter, for you had been so sure of his reaction before. “You think that low of me?”

“No, but I want you to have what you want.”

“What I want is you, you fuckin’ idiot,” he hisses. “All I ever wanted was you, and I can’t fuckin’ believe you’re tryin’ to take that away from me.”

You furrow your brows, confused. “…You’re not mad?”

“Girl, I’m livid,” he scowls. “Not about the damn kid, but because you assumed what I would say before comin’ to me.”

“Toji, you have to understand that I was trying to look out for you.”

“There’s not lookin’ out for me or those kids or makin’ them happy if you’re gone, (Y/n),” he bites. “Who th’fuck put that idea in your head?”

You stammer, tears proceeding to flow down your face as you reel in the reality of the situation. “I… I just thought-“

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

Before you can respond, his hand is gripping your wrist and he’s tugging you toward him into his chest. You shake when you fall into him, listening to the pace of his heart rapidly beating against your ear as he breaths quickly against you. Large palms smooth over your head and down to your waist as he holds you tightly, and you notice how desperate his grip is. He’s holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, as though you’ll fly away if his hold is not tight enough.

He tucks his head into your neck, fingers grasping into your shirt, and suddenly the animosity of the moment prior is gone. You’re still trembling, leading Toji to hold you tighter to him.

“Can’t believe you tried to leave,” he murmurs into your hair. “Christ, (Y/n) you’re tryin’ to gimme a heart attack. The fuck is goin’ on with you.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his chest, looking off sadly. “I thought you’d be upset about it. I didn’t want you to know.”

“I should know about any and every single thing that’s goin’ on with you, y’hear me? This ain’t no exception.”

A weight flutters from your shoulders as you sink into Toji’s head, silent tears streaming for the life you almost sacrificed. “What are we gonna do?”

“I dunno,” he mumbles. “But we’ll figure it out. As a team. Alright?”

You nod meekly. “Okay.”

He groans, pressing himself impossibly further to you. “That letter… fuck, don’t do that shit. Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that. Without you, I ain’t shit- pregnant or not. And those kids would adore another sibling if you were bringing it into this world. Don’t say that shit about them again either. They need ya. We need ya.”

“I’m sorry,” you whine again, Toji’s hand stroking over your back soothingly.

“It’s okay,” he grumbles. “We’ll figure it out.”

[starry-bi-sky]

Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!

And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.

Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?

Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.

Can't say the same for Danny.

Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.

"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.

When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.

That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.

Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.

TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

[saurons-pr-department]

Isn't silvergifting weird ? I mean celebrimbor is the guy whom sauron straight up tortured and killed him painfully and it's 2nd most popular ship for celebrimbor?

At the risk of being a bit too blunt here, it's really only weird if you're under the (incorrect) impression that shipping is like when you think two of your friends would make a cute couple and not simply the idea that the dynamic between two or more characters is compelling in some way (which is what I've usually seen it be in the almost 20 years I've been in fandom spaces). There is value in stories that end badly. Lies and betrayal have just as much reason to be in a story as any other element.

Celebrimbor and Annatar/Sauron worked alongside each other for centuries. The arrival of Annatar usherd in a golden age of new discoveries and power for the Elves of Ost-in-Edhel/ Eregion as a whole. Celebrimbor let Annatar in despite the warnings of family, like Galadriel, and the Elves of Lindon telling Annatar to jog on and take his suspicious self elsewhere. Is he trying to make up for his family's tragedies caused by lack of trust? Does he want power? Does he want to outshine his (in)famous grandfather? Get one up on his father? And that's just Celebrimbor's side of this. There is so much to explore between these two, so it's really not surprising that romance is something that people include.

There's also quite a few flavours of Silverfisting/Silvergifting out there. There's the one where they both fall for each other. There's Sauron stringing Celebrimbor along because it suits his purposes. There's Celebrimbor playing along to try and get close enough to find out what Sauron is up to. There's Celebrimbor thinking Sauron actually wants to turn over a new leaf. There's the version where that's even true! There's Sauron thinking Celebrimbor could actually swayed to follow him. Etc. etc. etc. etc. I could go on forever.

And on a more general level, some of us like sad stories. Sometimes the cruelty just hits that much harder when it was preceeded by kindness. "I hate you" can sound kind of bland on its own, but when it replaces "I love you" it has the ability to cut that much deeper. It adds layers to each happy scene to know that that's not how it's going to end, to be privy to knowledge of a future the characters are hurtling towards, blissfully ignorant.

A ship doesn't need to be nice. It's purpose is to put an interesting story in front of us. And sometimes that interest comes from watching on in horror as the inevitable catches up with the characters.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

could I get A E I J N for Ace please

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Ace is a BIG quality time kind of a guy. He wants to do things with his darling. Like going for a ride on Striker, exploring a new island together, or even just hanging out in his cabin. He lives to spend time with you, and he'll drag you along to whatever he wants to do in the name of bonding time.

He's also a touchy guy. When out and about, he's either holding your hand or has an arm slung over your shoulder. In private, he's much more cuddly. You won't be able to get further than arm's reach from him. Every inch of him is pressed against every inch of you. Ace is strong as hell and just as delusional, so he'll make excuses for any lack of enthusiasm from you while easily keeping you in place.

It's all very intense, Ace doesn't do anything in halves. You are his everything, and he's going to make sure that he becomes your everything, too.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

At first, Ace is very much keeping up a front around you. He wants and needs for you to think that he's this perfectly happy and normal guy. He has a sort of fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of mentality, but he never quite makes it. Eventually, cracks start to show, and then they shatter. His darling will feel like they have whiplash after witnessing their happy-go-lucky captor switch to the miserable, self-loathing persona.

Once the dam breaks, you become an unwilling pillar of emotion support. You're exposed to every facet of his extremely tumultuous character. It feels like you're being guilt-tripped to the extreme by him, but it's genuinely unintentional on his part. He can't help it. He needs to let you in, body and soul, even if he's dragging you in against your will.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Ace doesn't have a plan. He's going through the motions in life, and that also applies to you. He wants you to be there, sure, but he doesn't really have an end goal. He just wants to be with you forever. Marriage doesn't really cross his mind. Not because he's against that, he just feels like you guys pretty much are married already. What's a couple of rings and a sheet of paper really going to add to that? That being said, he would happily go along with it if you were fully in the throes of stockholm syndrome and brought it up, but that's really only because he's through the roof excited that you've finally accepted him.

Don't worry about him pushing to have children. While he does like children and is honestly great with them, he is terrified of actually having any. He doesn't want to pass along his problems to them and perpetuate a cycle of misery. That being said, he wouldn't be as opposed to the idea of taking in some random orphan that's in need.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh boy. Ace has intense jealousy issues. His deep rooted insecurity comes out full throttle, and it gets scary fast. Fortunately, it only applies to potential romantic rivals, so friends and family are safe at the very least. If he does snap, you don't have to worry about him hurting you, but that can't be said for whoever had the nerve to approach you. He doesn't give them a chance to back off. Once they've gone far enough to actually make Ace jealous, they are already past the point of no return. He'll beat them within an inch of their life, and possibly burn them to death if he was angry enough.

After this is over, and you are thoroughly traumatized from watching that, Ace pulls a 180 and starts babying you. In his delusional state, he believes that you are upset because that disgusting waste of life was bothering you. You'll learn quickly to avoid people when you're out and about with Ace.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He can't do it. He already struggles with guilt from just keeping you with him. He could never actually harm you. The worst that can happen is that he might yell at you if you've been fighting back a lot and had frequent escape attempts. He'll be up in your face, and his yelling is genuinely terrifying after only ever dealing with his softer side. As soon as it's over, Ace feels like a monster and starts love bombing the hell out of you to try and make up for it.

[aithusarosekiller]

Things I think marauders aus can utilise more to add more depth and references:

Disclaimer: I'm not criticising people or telling them what to do I just think these aspects would be really fun to focus on

- Peter's silver hand. Yeah in canon he only gets it in 1995 but modern aus aren't going to follow the canon timeline! If you care enough to keep Remus disabled in aus I think Pete should be allowed his prosthetic, we can have more than 1 disabled character. He could've been born without a hand or gotten some form of illness or into an accident, there are so many ways you can cover it. If you feel weird about keeping his hand but getting rid of the way he got it, he could've had a messy past in organised crime that led to him losing his hand before his friends found him and helped him to pull out of it. He needs more background in general so that's a really cool way to cover two things in one,

- Regulus being a huge fucking martyr. We get a bit of this but I would love to see him making even more gigantic, unproportionate sacrifices, including his own life. It's one of the main things we know about him, he's all or nothing on everything so I think it's fun to look into how different situations can bring out that intrinsic part of his character.

- Dorcas' anger. She had so much rage and strength that she was able to take on Voldemort himself. She destroyed large parts of his army. If she gets angry, that rage in uncontainable. I feel like people shy away from that too much and aim to make her too palatable but her anger is so fun to explore and completely changed her character and motivations. She doesn't have unpredictable rage, it's very calculated and directed, but it's there. She probably carefully considers everything before it happens and that's why she's so powerful. She knows her skills and she knows how to use them.

- SIRIUS' ANGER AND UNPREDICTABILITY! He is so changeable and instinctive. He doesn't often think about consequences before he does things and tries to move on from situations in which he may have wronged someone with shocking swiftness. He never really considers how his actions may effect others and it will take a really strong word to get that through to him. That man is so damn stubborn. Let him be unreasonable, he doesn't need to be perfect all the time. He was raised in a house swarming with pride, you don't just suddenly abandon that.

- Marlene's connection to her family. We know her family are all killed together so what's her bond with them? A lot of people say she didn't get along with them -especially not her father- but is it more deep than that? Does she still have a sense of duty to them that draws her to visit them in the hopes things will fix themselves?

- Remus' self-preservation and self-pity. Does he do things because he wants to or because the people around him influence him to? He's more passive than active and given the choice, he'd remain in hiding during times of struggle.

[ladyloveandjustice]

So the reason I was rewatching ATLA in the thros of my sickness was because I watched Big Joel's breakdown of the live action series and areas where it failed and didn't make sense and it made me want to rewatch the cartoon again.

I went ahead and watched the Big Joel video because I figured I wasn't going to watch the rest of the live action series at this point--(it's fun to yell at it with friends but also it's probably better to take those opportunities to watch something we actually like. 3 episodes is enough of a chance, and the only scene I liked out of that was the stupid little fight where Aang threw plates at Zuko)....and man, now I'm definitely not going to watch the series.

There really did just drain away Katara's entire personality and her agency. I honestly don't understand why adaptations are so afraid of letting her be the angry, stubborn, opinionated person she is in the show. I mean I know why, sexism. It's like writers cannot fathom a girl being nurturing and kind while also having a hot temper and being passionate and outspoken. She's not a hard character to get! But they cannot hold those two concepts in their brain at the same time! It's really sad!

But there are two points that really get me

--they...they seriously have Aang agree with Paaku's sexism towards Katara. When she tells him about it he's like "well maybe you shouldn't fight" It's apparently there for in plot reasons like blabla the spirit just told him the avatar should work alone and he's scared his friends will get hurt but I don't care. no. I don't want to see Aang being a tool like that. I don''t think in the original series there's actually any situation where he'd diminish her ability to fight or side with the systemic oppression of women, and there definitely isn't any situation where Katara would silently take it lying down. She'd have kicked Aangs ass (verbally) (perhaps accidentally physically considering what her waterbending does when she's angry) and honestly, I think her trust towards him would have broken so badly it would have been really hard to repair. But that didn't happen, because like Joel said, Aang isn't a dweeb and he respects Katara, and Katara is his equal who wouldn't take that shit.

--They have Iroh excuse his actions at Ba Sing Se (to a guy who's brother was murdered in the battle) with "it was war, we were soldiers". This is played straight, like Iroh is in the right, not as a character flaw to be explored- we're supposed to think Iroh is right to say that. Like he wasn't the GENERAL of the army trying to invade and colonize a city? It wasn't war, it was violent imperialism and people defending their home. How the hell do you misunderstand that. The original show never had Iroh make excuses. The original show wasn't afraid to demonstrate Iroh was a pretty monstrous person when he was leading the invasion- his casual joke about burning Ba Sing Se to the ground in that flashback is so jarring coming from Iroh, supposed to make us see how even he was unbelievably cruel at one point, even he was part of the system of imperialism, but it took his son's death for him to change. And he did change, he started questioning and working against the system he once upheld, and dedicate himself to taking care of Zuko.

But he was a war criminal, and he knows that! I think that's in part why he wanted Zuko to take the throne, he knows someone who did what he did shouldn't be in charge. I think the Iroh we know in the show would have understood if someone who's family member died in that battle was angry at him for starting it. I think he's equally angry at himself, holds himself responsible for his son's death in a battle he commanded and could have refused to fight, and that his son's death is what made him realize what he was inflicting on others.

It's such a stupid decision and shows the writer doesn't have a single thought in their head about imperialism or Iroh's character, that they don't even understand it. incredible.

So yeah, those things alone are enough to not make me want to watch this show. The thing with Iroh shows a disdain for the core themes of the show, and Katara and Aang being stripped of what made them good characters, but even just active characters....nah not for me. I will continue watching reaction videos and breakdowns though, love that stuff.

[artist-issues]

I know we're all over this topic right now. But one of the main things I think was important in the original The Little Mermaid that the remake totally missed was that Ariel's faith was in a person.

She starts out having faith in an idea. A vague concept. "Humans might be wonderful and worth loving because they make wonderful things. They might not be barbarians. They might even understand me."

And that's great. She has some evidence to put her faith in. But that evidence is how kind and harmless a scatter-brained seagull is, and his nonsense explanations of human trinkets.

So she deduces that the humans might not all be bad and they might actually be wonderful. If they can make things, maybe they must be inventive--maybe they see the world as full of possibilities--just like she does.

And that's enough to make her argue with her dad, the king, and buck against the entire undersea worldview.

It's enough to make her spend her days collecting and dreaming.

It's enough to make her visit the surface despite the fact that it's forbidden and potentially a risk to her life.

But the collection, the good Surface-Seagull, and all her guesses about the Surface are not enough to make her leave her family and her world behind.

And the original movie's creators knew that the audience needed to see that, in Act 1.

She thinks about it. But she doesn't actually pull the trigger. She doesn't actually take the leap of faith, or make the big sacrifice.

Not until she meets a person who embodies all the things she's hoped were true after her experiences with trinkets and seagulls.

When Ariel discovers Eric, he brings all her dreams about what the Surface might be like to life. He makes it real.

That's why she's in love with him. There's a combination of "he's everything I hoped humans would be...and he's even better, because I know how he feels."

In the Script for The Little Mermaid, when Eric asks if Grimsby is still "sore because I didn't fall for the Princess of Glowerhaven," there's just one break in the dialogue before Grimsby responds. It says "Ariel listens closely."

Because that's important. It's not just because she thinks he's handsome and she's listening to learn more about what his love life is like. She's listening closely because there's a conflict, like the ones she has with her father, and she wants to see if this human is "reprimanded" for his way of thinking or not.

She not only finds a human who is brave, sacrifices himself for an animal, and free to explore--she also finds a human who has dreams that the people around him can't understand.

He makes her ideals real, and expands on them, just by being himself.

Ariel learns precisely what she needs to about him, in one scene, for her in-character response to be "falls deeply in love."

And he's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Suddenly it's all real to her. Now she can sacrifice. Now she has something powerful enough to put her faith in--now she has someone worth loving enough to take a big leap of faith to.

That's why having her forget that she needs to kiss him, and having her only decide to give up her life under the sea when Ursula specifically mentions "never leave home again," is not Ariel. It implies that most prominent reason for her sacrifice was so that she could be free to explore instead of imprisoned where nobody gets her. But that's not Ariel. That's not the most important reason behind why she left in the original movie. She left because she finally had someone to love, and put her faith in.

She left for love, not independence. She left for Eric, not just for herself. You can dislike that all you want, but then you're disliking Ariel. Because that's who she is; that's why she did it.

[queenofmalkier]

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

[stuckysimp]

I'm like 8 years too late, but oh well - I've had this Captain America Civil War rant stuck in my head for a while and I need to get it out after re-watching it. (This is gonna be long af, but bear with me).

I feel like a lot of people missed the actual point and plot of the movie (and the marketing definitely didn't help). The whole "team cap vs team iron man" stuff becomes irrelevant after like the first 20 minutes of the movie. But of course, it's still quite a big part of the movie and I'd like to take a moment to explore what I think, the different character motivations are around why they signed or didn't (or would / wouldn't).

The only reason Tony "I successfully privatised world peace" Stark signed the accords in the first place anyway is because of his massive survivors guilt complex which we see triggered by the woman who approaches him at the end of his speech to the MIT students. Like this man does not give a single shit about the government, and much like Steve Rogers, he just wants to keep people safe. Unlike Steve, however, he doesn't trust himself to do so and thinks of himself needing the be kept in check, for someone else to take the blame (though he'd probably internalise it anyway, let's be real).

Rhodey has always kind of been more on the side of the government, even if that meant going against Tony - think Iron Patriot - so it makes sense that he'd want to sign. He understands that a group as powerful and dangerous as the Avengers needs to be kept in check, but what he doesn't understand are the risks around that. In a perfect world, it would be fine, but unfortunately government systems are stupid and corrupt.

Peter was only really in the fight in the first place because he was a child blindly following this big celebrity guy he idolised. He didn't know enough about the situation to properly analyse it, just being fed and believing whatever Tony told him (and he had no reason to go against him, so why would he? This was his shot, he's been chosen by THE Tony Stark to help). "Mr Stark said you'd say that" "he said you're wrong, you think you're right, that makes you dangerous." I 100% believe that if Peter had read the accords, that he would have been on Steve's side anyway.

Vision is an embodiment of 'good' and 'peace' - essentially everything that Ultron was supposed to be, but wasn't. He has no reason to be against the accords if it will keep people safe and he makes the point during their conversation of "our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict ... breeds catastrophe. Oversight ... oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand." It's also very much the beginning kind of puppy love between him and Wanda in this movie, meaning that he will want to protect her. No matter what. Even if it means "locking her in her room."

Nat was seriously one of the only people in this movie with a brain cell lol. I firmly believe that if the accords had been properly put in place, she would have followed them until she no longer thought the government's instructions were 'right' and would have gone against them anyway. Her main goal in this movie was trying to keep the Avengers, her family, together and ultimately do the 'right' thing.

T'challa didn't give one shit about the accords lmao, he's damn king. No, he was only there in the first place to take revenge on his father's death (which at the point of the airport fight scene he still thought it was Bucky's fault. He later discovers, after following Steve and Bucky to Siberia, that it's Zemo's, and locks him up).

Steve's concerns with the accords are valid, and honestly I wouldn't have signed them either. To be told "sign, retire, or get locked up" isn't really a big winner for me lol. And the thing is, Steve's done this. He fought in WW2, he got paraded around like some big hero while men died, and he did nothing. It wasn't until he went against orders, that he actually did something helpful (saved the captured 107th division in Azzano). So, no, he's not going to be side-lined when people out there need help. That's just not who he is.

Bucky had no part in the accords, and as soon as he got introduced into the movie, that plot point became irrelevant. He was framed by Zemo, and then used to rip the avengers apart. The accords was just another log to add to the fire at that point. He followed Steve because "till the end of the line" and all that. He literally, heartbreakingly, says "I don't know if I'm worth all this," but he follows anyway.

Scott, much like Peter, is kinda just happy to be there. He's following CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA into battle without hesitation. But like, let's be honest, given his whole movie and character, I very much doubt Scott would be on Tony's side if he had read the accords.

Clint got dragged out of freaking retirement for this shit, and he didn't actually get involved until after Team Cap already knew about Zemo. That's why he's there. Not because of the accords, but to help Steve get to the Quinjet to get to Siberia and stop Zemo before he can go through with his assumed plan to wake up the five super soldiers who'd been stashed there. (Of course, this isn't actually Zemo's plan, but we'll get back to that later).

Wanda is going through some serious self loathing during this movie, and the incident in Lagos doesn't help. Like at all. Ma girl just wants to live her life and be left alone at this point and she's getting all of these horrible things thrown into her face by Secretary Ross. She doesn't want to be controlled, she doesn't want to be a weapon, she wants to be free. "You locked me in my room." - Girl already probably hates Tony Stark due to her family being killed by one of his bombs and Ultron, so she's mad anyway.

Sam is on Steve's side from the start. With the accords, to fight Zemo, all of it. During the 'discussion' between him and Rhodey, he says "So let's say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?" He doesn't trust Secretary Ross, and is clearly hesitant to add his signature to the accords. (not that I blame him).

The main actual villain and 'plot' of the movie after the first part with the accords, was the whole thing with Zemo wanting to tear the Avengers apart to get revenge for his family dying in Sokovia. He takes advantage of the accords, and of Bucky / The Winter Soldier to do this but it's not really discussed which annoys me. It's a MAJOR part of the film, yet all I ever really see being discussed are the accords affecting the decisions of characters throughout the film with no consideration of the wider picture.

From when the UN meeting is blown up, the Avengers are being manipulated by Zemo working in the background throughout the film. He frames Bucky for murder, and Steve - who has been looking for Bucky for the past 2 years - goes after him like ‘tf man’. Bucky gets taken in and Zemo uses the opportunity to activate the Winter Soldier programming, learn about Hydra’s super soldier program, and of course - “Mission report. December 16, 1991.”

This leads to Bucky’s escape and attack, Steve and co going on the run, and eventually the airport fight. The meaning of this scene gets lost, I feel, when people relate it back to the accords because it’s not about that anymore. Not really, not for anyone. Especially not for Steve, or even for Tony.

Tony at this point, most definitely feels like his world is being torn apart. He’s losing control, he’s spiralling, and Steve just isn’t listening. He’s blinded by his anger to the bigger picture and he just wants to get a handle on the situation to deal with it further.

Steve’s forgotten all about the accords, his priority is keeping Bucky safe and stopping Zemo. He tries to tell Tony, tries to talk to him, but Tony isn’t listening either. I mean their whole interaction just before the fight shows this:

(the dialogue below has been condensed to show the key lines - basically I got rid of other characters talking irrelevantly)

-

Steve Rogers: Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this.

Tony Stark: Anyway, Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?

Steve Rogers: You're after the wrong guy.

Tony Stark: Your judgment is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.

Steve Rogers: And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't.

- later -

Tony Stark: And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep . . . I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.

Steve Rogers: You did that when you signed.

Tony Stark: Alright, We're done. You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys . . . with no compunction about being impolite. [Steve looks aside.] Come on.

-

Not to mention that Tony, after learning that Zemo impersonated and killed the actual doctor dude that was supposed to see Bucky whilst he was in confinement, he DISOBEYED the accords and Secretary Ross to go and help Steve stop what they thought at the time was the reactivation of the five super soldiers who'd been left in cryo freeze.

He follows Steve and Bucky to Siberia to help them, not to fight them. That only changes because of Zemo showing the footage of Bucky, WHILE UNDER BASICALLY MIND CONTROL, killing Tony’s parents.

In this scene, Tony 100% has every right to be angry. Unfortunately, he’s the kind of person who cannot see past his anger. He gets in his head, he spirals, and he tries to kill Bucky based on blind rage. (IT WASN’T BUCKY’S FAULT DAMMIT).

And yes, Steve was 100% in the wrong for not telling Tony. This whole scene could have been very easily avoided if Steve had just pulled Tony aside and had the difficult conversation about his parents death. Tony deserved to know, and Steve was only sparing himself pain by doing it. Dick move Steve, 0/10.

The fight between the three allows Zemo, having successfully completed his plan of eliminating the super soldiers and tearing the avengers apart, to slip away. With his work done, he tries to end his own life, but T’challa stops him and arrests him instead.

Steve and Tony’s fight was unnecessary, dramatic, and heart-breaking, and I’m very glad they managed to make up later, but ye. I think, at the end of the day, they’re all just dramatic idiots with communication issues lol.

-

Thank you for reading my long ass essay lmao, apparently I have a lot of feelings about this movie 😂

[kerakeriza]

Damian Wayne: The Romantic

ever since damian's inception, he's always had a soft spot for romance, true love, and happy families. in particular, he always wanted his mother and father to make amends and come together to form a happy home, a cohesive unit.

let's talk about it!

(batman v1 #658, written by grant morrison, damian's creator)

as you can see, we get the first inkling of his inclination towards romance with this moment. yes, i know... talia's character was ruined the very moment morrison touched her. it's not as if she wasn't a romantic herself, though.

(batman v1 #240, written by dennis o'neil, talia's creator)

in fact, even bruce was a romantic back then.

(batman v1 #257, written by dennis o'neil)

seriously, how romantic is that? absolute poetry.

it only makes sense, then, that damian ended up the way he did. let's explore that a bit more, shall we?

(batman annual v1 #26, written by peter milligan)

you'll notice that in his earliest appearances, damian's speech patterns were much more... casual. they weren't yet elevated to the levels of a spoiled prince. his message remains, though. if his grandfather loved this woman, why didn't he simply give her a happily ever after? spoken like a true romantic, damian...

(robin v4 #169, written by peter milligan)

in this case, of course, damian is referring to familial love - but it still speaks to his heart. it's a sort of... "love will conquer all" mentality, and it drives him. it's embedded into his character already, and this is only the resurrection of ra's al ghul arc.

...there is more evidence of damian being a sucker for romance in battle for the cowl, but we can all agree to just skip over that, yeah? let's move on to his run as robin.

(batman: streets of gotham v1 #3, written by paul dini)

damian isn't very subtle, but he also isn't very open about wanting romance for *himself.* he obviously does want it for himself - but he's not going to just up and admit it. hence the "what's it to you?"

(batman and robin v1, #4, written by grant morrison)

damian oh-so enjoys the affectionate attention of women. again, he puts up an attitude about it, but it's all to disguise his inner enjoyment of it all.

(detective comics annual v1 #11, written by fabian nicieza)

when faced with an enemy attempting to seduce him, damian is very much *against* being taken advantage of. unlike the woman playfully calling him adorable, this is an actual threat. not only that, but note his exact words - "won't -- feel that way -- yet --"

this is not how he wants it to go. he doesn't want to feel unsafe, in the arms of a dangerous predator. when it does happen - which he expects it to, someday - it won't be anything like this. the only other way for it to be, though... is soft. warm. romantic. most of all, he wants to pursue it when he's *ready* for it. he'll express himself in the little ways, such as asking if katana is single, but he won't make any big moves. he's just a kid, but he's also just not that kind of person.

he's wise enough about romance to understand that he's just not ready for this *yet.*

(you'll notice a distinct departure in how he handles the issue of his own romantic life from here on out...)

(batman and robin v1 #12, written by grant morrison)

this is another instance of familial love rather than romantic love, however... it is also another instance of damian wearing his heart on his sleeve. he just wants to be loved for who he is, it's another piece of his very, very loving mentality. he is a sensitive soul, deep down.

(batgirl v3 #5, written by bryan q miller)

stephanie calls damian out for looking at her chest - of course, he denies it. (he can't have stephanie thinking he's some lecher.) naturally, he denies it by insulting her. that's just about how it usually goes for these two.

(batgirl v3 #6, written by bryan q miller)

at this point, damian has gotten good at using a good bit of teasing to repress his crushes. there's a real air of jealousy in how much he *emphasized* the word "boyfriend."

(batgirl v3 #6, written by bryan q miller)

even dick and barbara seem to agree that robin and batgirl of today mirror the robin and batgirl of yesterday. (if you'll recall, dick absolutely had a huge crush on barbara. it's kind of the whole reason they became a thing after a while.) dick already knows about damian's interest in older women... and given his own interest in older women, i doubt he cares that much - as long as it's just an unrequited crush from damian. (i'm sure dick wouldn't be okay with it if stephanie accepted the affections of an underage boy, even if that boy is damian.)

(world's finest, v4 #4, written by sterling gates)

as you can see, the teasing continues for a while.

(red robin v1 #12, written by chris yost)

damian once again can't behave himself around stephanie, but this time, he's even more forwardly mocking her appearance. well, mostly just her chest, but still. i fear that he knows older women are out of the question, so the best he can do is tease them. it's not as if that sort of flirting isn't being modeled for him on the daily by every vigilante in gotham. he was so much more pure of heart before he met the bats...

(red robin v1 #12, written by chris yost)

at this time, this might've been the *first* time that damian has ever actually given a... compliment? to tim. it's definitely the first time he's congratulated him. what can he say? he loves a little romance, even when it comes to the person he hates most. it probably helps that the engagement isn't to a woman he has a crush on himself.

(superman/batman v1 #77, written by joshua williamson)

as was the case with stephanie, with kara, damian also resorts to teasing - it's a bit less obvious if he truly has a crush on her, but if dick is on his case about it... he's usually right, that's all.

(batman and robin v1 #18, written by paul cornell)

this gives a bit more insight into why damian now chooses to repress his romantic side (and instead resorts to teasing those he has a crush on). of course, he knew his own parents' relationship was complicated... but nothing quite like this. he's had to bare witness to just how fake his father's affections can be towards other women, and he aches at the mere thought of becoming anything like that. he'd rather not date at all then *pretend* to like someone.

he'd much rather pretend *not* to like someone to protect everyone involved from the chaos that their own feelings may bring. he knows it all too well now, what indulging in your emotions can do to people. but his loving heart never left him. he tried hardening it, that's all... but if he truly didn't care about romance anymore, he wouldn't see such an issue with bruce's playboy ways. he's an advocate of true love - not whatever the hell that is.

...i hope that helped to illuminate the ways in which damian explores romance and affection (in many forms)! after ingratiating himself to gotham city, damian found himself repressing his crushes more and more, likely due to the environment surrounding him. the other vigilantes all tangle themselves into knots, and it seems that damian would personally rather avoid coming to terms with his own affections, especially when he knows they'll lead absolutely nowhere. as much as he likes to pretend that he's older than he really is, he's not an idiot. he knows what he isn't ready for, even if he really wants it someday. even if the concept of true love pervades his very mindset. it's something he really, really wants... for his parents, and for himself... someday. when he feels ready for it - ready to accept that it may cause trouble, just as it did for his parents, and for the countless villains he faces on a day-to-day basis. he'll overcome it all when he's ready.

[titaniumions]

i think it's probably somewhat clear that i see isolde and kakania as lesbians (seems to be a common hc anyway) but i think i want to explore how that'd fit into their respective characterizations, not necessarily only from a shipping standpoint. note that this does get into headcanon territory, still i try to keep it as in-character as i can

i think kakania would actually be pretty open about it. in the 1910s?? i mean sure, she's already a controversy as she is ... an arcanist, an uncertified psychiatrist with unconventional methods, an outspoken member of society who stirs up public opinion. might as well give herself one more reason to be a subject of controversy. those who are set on hating her probably have no intention of changing that, so hey, might as well authentically be herself in every possible way including this. among those who have a more positive opinion about her, i do think this would make her somewhat of an icon. she draws other members of the community toward her. she lets them know that she is there for them and will fight for them. that they can turn to her and she will not scrutinize them for it. she'd tell them, no, there is nothing wrong with being this way. it isn't something you need to be "cured" from

in line with this, i think it would make sense for the "circle" to be a queer safe space. in fact, i like to think theophil himself could've been bi and thus would've accepted his sister's sexuality. but due to her own inhibitions (which i will touch upon later) i don't think isolde would ever have told him.

meanwhile for isolde ... i think it's more complicated. having a sexuality outside of the norm would be a deviation from the socially acceptable definition of the "perfect noble" she tries to be. so even if she were to ever consider it, she would simply end up pushing those thoughts away. no, not a chance. this shouldn't bother her at all. she's supposed to be perfect, yet she already has enough problems in her life as a member of the dittarsdorf family. considering the possibility of herself being anything but straight would lead to more problems, wouldn't it? and that's the last thing she needs. nonetheless she's ... never been attracted to a man either. but she tries not to think too much of it. maybe she just needs to wait it out. or so she tells herself

now to piece it all together ... i do really like the idea of kakania being her ... awakening. in fact i think it would make a lot of sense for her story, what with kakania being the metaphorical key to the doors that have always surrounded and confined isolde ... so hear me out. when isolde started associating with her and the circle she realized that it felt far less suffocating than ... pretty much any other aspect of her life. it's like a breath of fresh air. kakania in particular would fascinate isolde, in a way that makes isolde question things about herself. perhaps she even comes close to having a realization. but again, isolde remembers who she needs to be, and stops herself short.

eventually though, she would learn what kind of person kakania is, and what she believes in and fights for. this only deepens isolde's admiration further and she finally comes to a point of acceptance about her feelings. alright. i can accept this realization now. she no longer pushes it to the back of her mind. there's still a bit of repression and shame left in there but meeting someone who has not only awakened her, but also wouldn't judge her for it, has changed something within her entirely. the feelings overflow and she can deny it no longer. but again, at the end of the day she still needs to be perfect and socially acceptable. she can't just ... exist as freely as kakania does. but it's alright, isolde has feigned compliance for so long regardless of however difficult it might be. putting up with expectations has been a regular part of her life. so there it is, something authentic about this actor that she can't show to anyone else because it doesn't fit the part that she's supposed to play. kakania is allowed to know though, of course she is. it can just be their little secret. and one way or another, she'll figure out how isolde feels toward her. surely kakania would be quite honored to be on the receiving end of the affection of such a wonderful lady. as long as this affection doesn't eventually turn into a catalyst for destruction, right ...

[ruiniel]

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well! Hopefully with plenty of rest you will get well soon 🩶

Here’s an HC ask if you feel up to it:

Adrian x Bold/Flirty Reader

- The twins never happened and reader just stumbled upon Alucard in the forest some day, stunned by his beauty and grace.

- Reader has an occupation that requires them to go into the forest from time to time, as kind as Adrian, he started to help them out.

- Reader developed a crush on him as they gradually got to know each other. Bold as they are, they decided to take the first move by… you guessed it, flirting. The kind that ends with his face tinged with the loveliest pink.

- Adrian is still mourning over loss over family and friends, and only sees reader as a friend (a close friend? And a pretty friend. He doesn’t even know anymore.)

- Reader’s tactics slowly working. He starts to crave your company like he does with Sypha and Trevor.

- He stares at your lips, sometimes your behind. Averts his eyes as dhampirely as possible when he catches your returning gaze and thinks you haven’t notice. You do.

- “Accidental” touches on his thigh when passing something over; warm, ticklish breath near his sensitive ear while you stand behind him when he sits and reads. He swears you are driving him crazy.

- He may just snap one day. And you hope it comes soon.

Thank you, I'm getting there slowly but surely. Going off about fictional people helps the morale, y'know?

Oh a pining HC, and bold characters are so fun!

◈ It might be that your attitude in time could draw the other side of him to the surface... one he hasn't had the opportunity to explore much beyond nighttime ventures through the wilds, chasing the malevolent things lurking there: the thrill of the hunt. The side that goes "Let's find out..."

Remember that?

◈ His instincts are just as sharp in his humanoid form as in his wolf form, and he feels it: the scent of your attraction growing stronger, the way you can't control the impulse to try and get closer.

◈ He's wary, at first. But there is honesty about you, too, and that has a scent of its own, comforting and achingly sweet. He knows he's taking a gamble by trusting you but let's face it, if his friends have been gone for a while now in this context, he's certainly more in need of someone to share his time with than even he can admit to himself.

◈ Besides, since your encounters in the woods become more frequent, you seem unperturbed by his nature, even after he's told you more of himself and some (not all) of what he's done.

◈ He still feels immensely guilty about how it all came to pass, and misses his family. It's a very confusing time in his life and he doesn't want to burden you with that.

◈ He's also afraid you'd want nothing to do with him any longer if he did tell you everything, all the moments he can't forget, the scenes that play in his mind's eye over and over.

◈ You don't seem to be deterred by anything though, and with admiration he takes his metaphorical heart between his teeth one day and sits you down one afternoon, under an ancient oak tree where you sometimes share your lunch.

It all goes pleasantly enough. At one point you try to reach for a bottle, propping your hand on his leather-clad knee for support as you lift yourself to grab a hold of the glass container.

When you try to remove your hand, he stops you, his own hand over yours. "Why do you do these things?"

Nothing gets past Alucard when it comes to danger and battle but navigating interpersonal relationships? Not his forte. He knows it, you know it.

And so, you swallow before you answer. "I Iike it. Touching you."

"Why?" His eyes are earnest, and you appear out of your element for a moment before his bluntness. But he really, really looks like he wants, no, expects an answer.

"Does it bother you?"

He ignores your question completely. "I wonder if your hand will still be here, after I share with you what I have to say." All easy manner is gone from his attitude.

You watch him, bemused, but your hand stays right where it is, on his warm, tense thigh. He's just told you in no uncertain terms: I know what you're doing. I know you want me. You're still processing that, but the words that leave your mouth are: "Let's... find out?"

He takes a sharp intake of breath at that, watching you strangely. "I never told you how I ended up alone, did I?"

You shake your head, and wait. And listen.

By the time he's done, you're staring at the patterns of the blanket, and he's regretting having broken the image you'd probably concocted of him in your head.

"People make mistakes."

Alucard raises his head. The warm hand on his thigh is still there. "What?"

"I said, people make mistakes. And people sometimes must make difficult choices for reasons beyond them."

When you smile at him, when you tuck a strand of errant hair behind his ear and suddenly hug him, Alucard stays perfectly still: with shock, with... relief? But his response is so fierce you sigh in surprise, arms winding around you and holding you there. "You're not running away screaming," he whispers in your ear, feeling the little shudder running through you. He likes holding you, he likes being held. He craves it.

"No, but you would, if you knew the shape of my thoughts when it... comes to you."

He'd love to pull your head back, to stare into your eyes as you say it. And so: he does. "My dear, dear friend... I want to know everything."

That was a mix of HCs and a scene haha I take no responsibility *blames it on the meds*

[eldritch-spouse]

Characters like Berle especially terrify me when they get angry, like they always act like they're outgoing and they always seem happy and nothing can upset them easily, but at the same time there are things that if a specific person does might make them really angry, (I really want to dig deeper into Berle's character, he seems so fun to explore!) I need to know how he reacts after he exploded in anger at the reader because of their constant distancing from him, What if she started getting closer to him just out of fear of him? She acts as if she is happy, but there is obvious stress and anxiety?

To be fair, Berle has always had his way in all the important things in his life. More than outgoing and bold, Berle is stubborn. Petty and stubborn.

Only the people who have been beside him as the glutton matured recognize the tantrums he's capable of.

Berle thought things would be easy with you. Everyone likes him, everyone seems oddly charmed by his nature, and he's so very generous to you!! There's nothing he's not willing to give just so that you'll accept his presence and love him- So why are you difficult?

The prince has been so good! Working around your bad moods, making light of your jabs, pretending he doesn't see you searching for ways to distance yourself- He's pulling on every nerve he has to keep his cool. But you're so fucking difficult about it. Stop. It's not cute anymore. You think too highly of yourself, just knock the attitude off already... His patience isn't infinite.

Of course, he understands how brutally he fucked up when you're huddled in a corner and he realizes he's been shrieking at the top of his lungs, throwing things around. He can put the friendly face back on fast, he can shower you with a million apologies and so many promises of compensation... But it's hopeless, you've seen him now.

All Berle can do is keep that part of him muffled, and hope the display was enough to warn you that he's got his limits, that his jokes of you sticking around in Gluttony and meeting his family aren't one hundred percent based in amusement. Stress? Anxiety? What for? It's as if nothing happened at all.

[cynthiav06]

Post-tartarus Percy and Annabeth and even post tartarus Nico weren't written well at all. Tartarus makes them manic, always on edge, jumpy. This is PTSD and it doesn't just go away. Not to mention, they lost Bob and Damasen.

Yes, sure, one could argue there weren't many opportunities for Rick to explore how Tartarus changed Percy in Heroes of Olympus series. There still should have been mentions.

Rick focused on Bob and Damasen part for a bit and then never again. It's like after Tartarus arc, Percy and Annabeth were back to being themselves, which is such a character assassination. Here's what I think are a few ways Tartarus changed Percy and Annabeth and even Nico in:

PART 1-PERCY

Percy becomes hypervigilant at all times.

He can barely sleep, and whenever he does, he is always affected by terrible nightmares.

He feels extremely guilty about not being able to save Bob and Damasen and hence is now extremely protective of his other friends and family.

He no longer feels at all safe in his cabin and avoids it since Hera abducting him from there led to his whole thing.

He spends large amounts of time away from the camp.

Percy only ever feels truly safe by the sea .

Percy knows how delicate Sally and Paul act around him, and he hates it and hates himself for it. They don't say a word even when him screaming wakes them up. In fact, they just sit beside him, holding his hand and letting him cry or scream.

Poseidon also makes his own protective tendencies known, and when Percy gets too manic to stay anywhere, he whisks him away to Atlantis to calm him.

Every night, Percy finds a place to look at the stars and repeat the same message : Bob says hello.

He becomes an entirely different person when attacked when fighting monsters. A killing machine. It scares most people especially Annabeth.

Percy becomes a lot more aloof and likes being by himself (so he doesn't have to bear the responsibility for protecting someone other than him for a while)

He becomes a bit more pensive and talks less than usual.

He hates his own power but doesn't shy away from using it in dangerous situations. But this leaves him with a long internal struggle.

He begins to think of himself as monstrous.

He can't feel at ease without feeling Riptide in his grasp.

Somedays the nightmares the memories get so worse that he has to make himself bleed to take the worst of it away.

He becomes skeptical of most things: people, and food and objects.

Everyone makes sure not to bring Calypso in the same room as him lest he kill her then and there. It takes him a long time to forgive her.

Percy is now so good at sensing monsters that he is always ten steps ahead of everyone.

The worst of it is Percy's constant need to fight something. He spars with multiple strong opponents to at least make it a bit challenging for him. It makes him feel like Ares, and he hates it.

Percy's first true genuine smile is when he finds out he is going to have a baby sister.

Will cover Annabeth's and then Nico's in the next parts. This is enough ptsd for all of us for one day.