it is so fucking exhausting being trans rn considering all the shitawful bills being passed currently. and hell yeah stay informed—if you’re ignorant you can’t fight. but don’t let it consume you. it’s black holes of negativity but you have to remember there’s people on your side who are actively fighting to make sure that you can live a good life. and if you’re one of those people i hope all your fucking dreams come true because jesus *christ* it’s rough out there. which maybe is the understatement of the year but my point is
don’t drown yourself in trans negativity. there is joy in our existence that we have to embrace for our own sakes. it’s important to find sources of trans joy. and i’m not the first nor will i be the last person to say this but if this reminds even one of you this post will have been worth it.
seek out trans joy. take care of yourself. survival is how we fight.
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seeing fanworks in general get less and less engagement here is making me so sad but i wanna say this: if you are still giffing, still drawing fanart, still writing fanfic your work is absolutely cherished and important. your time is never wasted.
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i honestly think that we shouldn't even say "inactive" or "hiatus," especially because most of these blogs are as a hobby and it should be fine to just disappear and not post content for some time.
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You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again.
Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together.
If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it.
Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog.
You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication.
Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars.
You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy.
It’s not your fault.
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Red dead redemption fucks you up man.
You literally can't do anything the same anymore after playing, I'm sitting in work thinking about my horses and wondering which one I'll ride to die with Arthur - I love them all so much that I wish I could save them all.
I even randomly think about the thimble Jack wants, I have no idea where to find it but nobody at hanging dog ranch has had it in all the times I've raided it.
I think about the sun and the stars, the dusty plains of West Elizabeth and the grasslands of New Hanover, I think about Tall Trees and the canyons of New Austin, the mountains, the snow, the peaceful times camping under the night sky.
And you find yourself yearning for it, despite how awful, unforgiving and unfair the time period was.
You can't go back to those days, it's definitely for the best, you'll lose yourself if you focus so much on wanting something from so far in the past.
Whatever you're yearning for, look for it in your future, your present time, find it and run with it. Life is too short to live in the past, live in the time you have now and thrive.
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I have read Fellowship of the Ring more times than I have cared to keep count and every time I read Boromir’s, well, possession for lack of a better word, I have read it in fear, in discomfort, in horror, indifferently.
This was, I think, the first time I read it in pity. I looked at all the plans Boromir was making, how he would save his beloved city, how obstinate he was in his belief that the men of Minas Tirith would not be corrupted when wielding the Ring against Sauron —and I felt sad. He’s waving his hands and hollering and part of him is desperate just for the Ring, of course he is, he’s been traveling beside it with no hope for months, but he’s also desperate for hope. He’s desperate for a chance to save his people, save his brother, save his city.
Moreover, every time he calls out the Elves or the Wizards, you have to remember that he doesn’t know them. All he knows is that he traveled almost a full year to get their advice and they send him on, in his eyes, a hopeless venture. The one hope they give him is Aragorn, who promises to return and help save Minas Tirith with him, but even that all changes once Gandalf dies. They come to Lothlorien and of course it’s a welcome break, but they cannot, or maybe in Boromir’s eyes will not, help his people. And once they leave, Aragorn assumes his role as leader of the Fellowship in Gandalf’s stead more permanently and suddenly even that one, brief, uncertain hope of his is gone. Aragorn will follow Frodo. And it’s almost certain that Frodo will not go to Minas Tirith.
So is it any wonder, really, that tired, desperate, hopeless Boromir, out of his realm, out of his depth, already hanging by a thread when he joins the Fellowship and having been gnawed on by the Ring for months upon months afterwards, finally snaps once it’s clear that he will have to return home empty-handed and almost certain that somewhere far away Sauron is capturing the Ring and killing the companions that he had bonded with? Of course part of the Ring is making him lust for power, but it’s also his only “reliable” (in his mind) source of hope left to save his city.
And so I read Boromir’s (intelligent and thought out, mind you) raving and I don’t feel scared for Frodo, not after reading it so many times and knowing what ultimately happens, but sorrow for Boromir.
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It’s just… it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his “SO OBVIOUS” exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.
Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Like… Ur super mean and hot, I can’t blame her.) Anyway.. it’s SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.
Jude thought Cardan’s (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: “Im trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,” trick.
I’m fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.
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