#this is pretty tho..good job me. now do 5 more

[when-wax-wings-melt]

sometimes silly little highlighters and gel pens make all the annotating worth it

[ilovemylawyer]

finally got around to watching tazza (2006) and it sparked an evilive related inquiry in my mind...

you know in ep3 how ohjae holds his mic in a lil funny upright style?

well peep this gamblingrelated gangster's eerily similar pose in tazza (2006)

so my question is: is ohjae's stance a reference to this? is it a coincidence? is it referencing something even older that i haven't gotten to yet? are these two going up against each other in a 1v1 rap battle?

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]

title. around the clock

Hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.

ᰔ pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)

ᰔ summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but that’s besides the point). the kid’s mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: don’t accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. he’s pretty sure he’s got a good hold on the former, but he’s got no self control over the latter.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (reader’s 22 & gojo’s 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except there’s a lil bit of lore so it’s kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes

ᰔ word count. 12.6k

a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didn’t get tagged it’s bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldn’t tag them i’m sorry!!

alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :”) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! 💕 ART CREDITS: @/3-aem

➸ masterlist

2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): heyy um i’m sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuuji’s care instead of me?

2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure

2:34 pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesn’t know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that i’ve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think it’s not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha

2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts

2:48pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. it’s just i’m kind of busy n stuff so it can be distracting 

2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it

2:52pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter

2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?

2:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird things… i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him

2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?

2:56pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah he was always “accidentally sexting me” n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah

2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll go beat him up

2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i’m not saying you’re like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?

3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you

3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up

3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean “no offense” that’s literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy

3:04pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the ‘ohhh i wanna look good for instagram’ way and not like real man muscles yknow

3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls I’ll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourself 

3:06pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE

3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? I’m not sensing any emergencies here

3:11pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(

3:16pm Gojo Satoru: I’ll let the kiddo know you say hi 👋🏼 

The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isn’t something he’d admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that she’s entrusted her five-year-old son’s life to the hands of an underground boxer. 

But he needed the money. A night-time job didn’t really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasn’t stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was. 

The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasn’t something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojo’s beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.

He likes the kid. Yuuji. He’s got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like he’s geriatric, he’s really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal. 

Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, it’s the tactic he’s been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enough  testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic he’s found has worked, since he’s been undefeated thus far. 

He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings who’ve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxer’s chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if they’re even able).

He doesn’t pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but it’s a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.

It’s not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep they’ve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasn’t doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while he’s not proud of what he does, he can’t deny the fact that it’s turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.

But balance was key. And hence why he’s a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend he’s the king’s most trusted appointed knight, or he’s the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe he’s the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once he’s had his bowl of spaghetti-O’s and is ready to play. Lately, the kid’s been really into space. They’ve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojo’s day, he just had a good ol’ Buzz Lightyear.

“One rule, that’s it: don’t accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Don’t flirt with my daughter.” 

There’s a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows he’s up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didn’t read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since that’s the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like he’s up to no good? He’s not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuuji’s life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? ……right?

The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who he’d argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, he’s got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyone’s in college now or doing a masters or they’re working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that he’s been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he can’t exactly own up to the identity of his craft. 

Anyways, the point is, he’s not used to seeing other people his age anymore. There’s the occasional hook-up with girls he hasn’t seen since Mrs. Tracy’s homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji. 

So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuuji’s half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.

You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldn’t see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made dean’s list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that she’s proud of her daughter, but doesn’t that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.

“Here,” he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. “Is this what you want?”

He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you weren’t expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.

If it wasn’t for his boxer reflexes, he’d have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin. 

“I didn’t know you were my little brother’s babysitter,” you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. He’s never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.

“It’s fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.”

He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more? 

He knows he shouldn’t have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way you’d clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.

The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your mother’s key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.

So much for no flirting.

6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuuji’s epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet

7:01pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen

7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without any  7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shit’s crazy

7:10pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????

7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?

7:13pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY

7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. he’s chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isn’t he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?

7:20pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(

7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh

He tried to keep his word though (although he doesn’t recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if he’d ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story. 

But a little texting here and there wouldn’t hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brother’s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, he’ll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. he’s ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you weren’t trying to preserve propriety. And when you’d occasionally visit every other weekend, he’d do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and you’d fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was. 

4:55pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(

5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]

5:08pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!

5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll it’s fake. We’re working on his halloween costume

5:09pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?

5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah

5:12pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something

5:13pm Gojo Satoru: I’m not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him

5:14pm yuuji’s sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. you’ve deranged his brain.

5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.

Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, he’d say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows it’s close to neither. He’s no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, he’s a con artist that’s tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because he’s trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given he’s not knocked dead before then for the crime’s amusement.

But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojo’s grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kid’s the only thing that’s made him question any of this. Maybe that’s what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that you’ll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad. 

“Do you like my sister?” Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.

“Uhh,” Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. “Yeah, she’s cool. You’ve got a cool sister.”

“But. But.” Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. “Do you like her like you wanna kiss her?”

Gojo grabs the block from the kid’s hand, for a moment questioning Yuuji’s decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kid’s concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it. 

Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isn’t a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.

“No. I don’t want to kiss your sister,” he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.

Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like he’s putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.

“It’s ok. You can kiss her if you wan’ed to. You can marry her too,” Yuuji says.

Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and he’s smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.

“Where the fu—…where the flip did that come from?” he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.

Yuuji’s small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. “I want a papa.”

Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what it’s like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojo’s not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And he’s seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.

He’s also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dad’s millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.

But he can’t imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuuji’s a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.

Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. “Buddy. If I married your sister, we’d be brothers. I wouldn’t be your dad.” 

Yuuji’s eyes light up at the word brother. “Brothers? Me and you?”

“Yeah. Bros.”

The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.

“Juice!!” he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.

Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you your juice, you little demon.”

The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids don’t really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them. 

This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood. 

His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.

1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y i’m 

He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.

1:09am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i drunk :(

The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly. 

1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell

1:10am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy

His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, you’re texting him? Must be a really boring party.

1:11am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?

1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldn’t sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Don’t you have a midterm in the morning?

1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that

1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge

1:15am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): im so fucked;’;(((

He snorts. He’s got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you. 

1:16am yuuji’s sister (no flirting): can i tell u smething 

His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy must’ve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up. 

1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure

He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And there’s the noise of another ping. Actually, four.

1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): i thikn of  1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuuji’s sis (no flirting): *kissed me

His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdala’s been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet he’s got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.

Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and he’s stiff around the edges once more.

“Satoru! You’re up, man,” he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.

Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. You’re off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain you’ll regret every life decision you’ve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors you’ve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.

He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them. 

There’s strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? He’s never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while they’ve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojo’s got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.

“Hey,” Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, “what’s in for this fight?”

Danny glances up at the ceiling. “Tarp’s bettin’ tonight, so it can’t be anything less than ten grand for you. I’d say tops fifteen?”

Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. He’s got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands he’s made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dude’s face into the floor until they’re a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because that’s the kind of action the spectators wanted.

Danny reads his line of sight. “That’s Gale. Newton’s new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. He’s undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,” Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. “Chances are he’ll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. I’m talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.”

“Uh-huh,” Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Danny’s elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.

He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojo’s name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojo’s chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena. 

The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojo’s feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and he’d have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.

The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers they’ve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. That’s what the sanction was called. Lion’s den.

Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojo’s always thought the nicknames were tacky, and he’s accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games. 

He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.

His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojo’s eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.

Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasn’t a good one to be up against.

Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldn’t win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and he’ll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guy’s face, grin wide like he’s some cannibalistic beast. 

Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!

There’s a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.

He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!

He feels like throwing up. 

Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasn’t really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. “This is enough, right?” he asks.

The referee nods. “1-0, next round.”

Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and he’s a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he won’t have to come back here for a couple weeks.

Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribs—

sometimes, i think of when you kissed me

Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.

His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them. 

What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. There’s no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he can’t help it. Can’t help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mind’s just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?

Even though it’s still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Why’s he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe that’s what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although he’s not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.

He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him it’s only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojo’s eyes widen at the sight above him from where he’s still lying on the wood.

“Shit—” he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet. 

Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojo’s already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guy’s chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before he’s sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.

The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off. 

Gojo’s eyes flit up towards the lion’s den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he can’t make out because he doesn’t know how to read lips.

He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. “Dude. Go.” He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. “Go fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I don’t know, get some more blood out of him.”

“What?” Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Danny’s grip. “The fuck are you saying?”

“I told you, man, Newton’s here and he’s got his eye on you. Go give him a show,” Danny says, “do it.” And when he sees clear frustration on Gojo’s face he sighs. “Twenty-five grand, consider that, will you?”

Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Danny’s feet. “Go fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.” And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.

He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.

He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and he’s almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesn’t want Yuuji questioning him about it.

Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when he’s out here or in the ring? He’s a babysitter by day. He’s a “part” of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. That’s it. He’s no five-year-old’s caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldn’t be thinking of you when facing big, burly men he’s aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?

He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where he’d left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesn’t have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight. 

He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.

He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,

3:23am Gojo Satoru: That’s nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the time 

—and then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

You’re awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue. 

“Mm…” you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath. 

You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm. 

Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldn’t have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam in—you checked the time on your phone—about an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache that’s pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet. 

You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.

And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.

Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter)

With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.

Oh fuck.

That was right.

You drunk texted him last night.

You drunk texted your little brother’s hot babysitter.

Fuck.

Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you don’t even remember what you said, and so you don’t even want to see what he replied with.

You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but that’s only because you thought he’d find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that he’s more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man you’ve ever met. You didn’t want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.

In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldn’t you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJ’d you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?

The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just so…confident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, y’know? Never had to fake it ‘til he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.

You sigh. “Stupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.

You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gasping—

3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuuji’s babysitter): I think about fucking you all the time 

It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.

I think about fucking you all the time

At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devil’s hour. What’s he trying to tell you? 

Oh come on, you’re not stupid. And you know he isn’t either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when he’s trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when you’ve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojo’s sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. There’s even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.

But… you don’t know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And she’d probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks he’s no good and she thinks you’re too good. You know she’s warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why he’s probably so fucking awkward around you whenever she’s there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so he’d rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.

Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldn’t wish on any woman, but that’s exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesn’t even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesn’t want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.

You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because he’d never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who you’re with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when you’re making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.

But you got to college. You’ve already made it this far. You’re on dean’s list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. You’re the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. You’ve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.

And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it. 

You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that says—

10:34am you: do it then

—then shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life i’ve been good, but now, ahhhh i’m thinkin’ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but he’ll thank them for it later once his balls are empty. 

He’s got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasn’t ideal, but he’s delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but he’s still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough he’s balls deep, “you on any birth control?”

“Uh-huh,” you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.

“I can cum inside then, yeah?” he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.

“Let’s get there first, and then we’ll discuss,” you breathe out.

“I’ve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,” he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your mom’s going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like she’d told him to. 

“Harder,” he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars he’s collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until he’s fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue. 

The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment he’s lost all sense of control. He wasn’t just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.

“Good,” he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, “goooood, keep squeezin’ me like that, fuck.” He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.

“Oh, oh my god, Satoru—” you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.

“Fuck, I’m gonna—” His hand finds it’s way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. “I’m gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.”

“In me,” you moan, “nowhere else.”

He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, “Atta girl,” he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as they’d go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you. 

“Oh shit, shit, shit—” he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He can’t remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.

He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you weren’t stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.

“Want a taste?” he asks, casually.

“Mhm,” you nod, face looking flush.

He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesn’t want it getting out. He’s then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find he’s met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, “bet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.”

Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. “Flattery won’t make me suck your dick.”

“Alright. So? How is it?” he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until he’s hovering over you again, “taste good?”

“It’s cum, Satoru.”

He shrugs. “Bad?”

“No,” you say, and you can’t make eye contact, “good.” You sigh. “Hot. I don’t know. Salty, sweet. I’m the sweet. You’re the salty. And this conversation is obscene.”

He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste what’s on yours. “I like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.”

There’s the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.

“Sa—” you stutter, “Satoru.”

He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to see—

Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. You’re trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, he’s still sad he can’t freely stare at your tits anymore. You’re rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.

The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but it’s better than being balls deep inside his boss’s daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.

He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.

“Mom! You…you’re home so early,” he hears you squeak out.

“Yes,” your mom says, “The rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured I’d come home when there’s less traffic.”

Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.

“I see, I see, how was your day at work?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.

“Fine.” And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasn’t really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means she’s suspicious about something. “Darling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.”

Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. “Oh, um, I just went to pee. Must’ve—…must’ve got caught when I pulled it back up.” 

“I see,” your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. “You know, I really don’t like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe it’s just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.”

“Mom,” you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.

Your mother sighs. “In any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I don’t have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.”

“Oh gosh, I don’t know,” you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes you’re pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizes— his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldn’t put your panties on fast enough. 

Shit. That’s hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesn’t catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.

“What?” your mother says, “what do you mean you don’t know?”

“I’ve just been watching TV this whole time,” you say, “last time I saw him…he was…um, in the backyard pulling weeds?”

He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad. 

Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and he’d be inside of you. 

“I’m going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,” your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.

The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.

“Okay, I think she’s in the shower, I hear the water running,” you whisper at him, “you can go now—” You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. “What—…Satoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!” you whisper-hiss at him.

He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.

“You talkin’ to your mom while your pussy’s stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing that’s ever grazed my lizard brain,” he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. “Now keep quiet while I do this, ‘kay?”

“Oh—” you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, “okay—” you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before he’s already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.

“Shhhhhh,” he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, “told you to— fuuuck,” he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, “jesus christ—” he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, “I told you to fuckin’ keep quiet.”

“I’m—mff,” you muffle against his palm, “I’m trying but,” your hips move back in time with his, “feels good, feels too good,” you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.

“Yeah?” he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldn’t be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, “you like it when I fuck you while your mom’s all clueless just up the stairs?” His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. “Gets— you—wet, doesn’t it?” he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable. 

“Mhm, mhm,” you easily agree, or maybe that’s because it’s all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, three— beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, he’s given you everything he had to give.

His eyes open, he wasn’t even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.

“Holy shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,” he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just can’t believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? He’s never been to college, his old man’s been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.

“No pics,” you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, “that’s my one sex rule.”

He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. “That’s the only rule you have? Anything else goes?” he asks.

You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. “I have a feeling I’d be making up more specific rules if it was with you.”

He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. “I also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didn’t do.”

You blink your eyes at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What?” he asks, genuinely confused, “I didn’t.”

“Huh—” you scoff, “how do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didn’t just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.”

“Nahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, that’s not flirting,” he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, “that’s, like—…I don’t even fuckin’ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.”

“Oh okay so I’m stupid.”

“I never said you were stupid?”

“Well you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean I’m stupid.”

“Pshhh. You’re cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.”

Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heart’s beating faster show through the heave of his chest. 

“Why do you have all these scars, anyway?” you whisper to him.   

“Too many girls tryna stab me,” he tells you.

You roll your eyes. “Seriously.” Your thumb traces the one you had left on him. 

“I—” He stops himself.

Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because he’s seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen he’s supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesn’t know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, I’m an underground boxer might make you think he’s hot? At the very worst, you’ll report him to the cops and he’d get fired as your little brother’s babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.

“Maybe I’ll tell you some other time,” he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, “no hyper personal details until you’ve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. That’s my one rule.”

You snort. “I could’ve guessed that rule from a mile away.”

He hums. And then there’s the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.

You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!

This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.

“Satoru. I was looking for you,” she says as she rounds the post. “Have you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.”

“Ah, nope, was just about to head out,” he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, “sorry, I was—” he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, “…pulling out some gnarly weeds.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “I see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.” And he’s not sure how to respond because he’s not sure if she’s joking. 

He heads out the door, the keys to your mom’s minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.

3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon

.

.

.

[the end]

a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing 😂😂 but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know i’m a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n it’s a lil angsty (totally different au tho) i’ll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd it’s been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3

➸ masterlist

taglist:

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[nerdie-faerie]

This has got to be the worst move out yet

[keeps-ache]

stuffs and things!! :DD

[silverwarewolf]

DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS

Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!

GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.

Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).

Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.

That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD

... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)

no comment here I just love them.

I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3

This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)

I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.

Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.

(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)

BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL

1) Yep, they're back to normal.

2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.

3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.

4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!

5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3

I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.

IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?

"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)

I get it, girl.

Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.

(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)

Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"

Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.

(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)

FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.

oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm

I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!

Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.

I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)

... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.

BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)

Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!

[wjehfshs]

Keegan and Logan relationship HCs both fluffy and smutty bc I’m on a kick for them rn (seperate)

This is gonna contain NSFW, also don’t ask me why I put hello kitty as the GIF I just felt like it

Keegan

Sfw:

I think everyone can agree this man’s cuddly

I saw someone hc (I can’t remember who) that he bites affectionately

Like will just bite your shoulder or smth

Also he rides a motorcycle (he’s better at driving it than a car, thankfully), and he loves to take you on rides at night for a date

First getting with him you probably had to confess, look he’s not insecure or anxious it’s just that he didn’t pick up on you liking him as well

Kinda just stood there after you asked him out like “😦”

“Kid stop messin’ with me it’s not funny”

“I’m not messing with you Keegan”

“Oh… Oh!” Got all excited internally but tried to keep that stoic demeanour

First time cuddling with him (which was probably right after you confessed) he lay on top of you, putting his full weight on you (if safe to do so ofc), and basically just melted, almost fell asleep if you didn’t have to get up to use the bathroom

Anytime before he has to go on a mission he’s extra cuddly, basically glued to you

And if you work day or night he’s devastated

Part of him wants to convince you to quit your job so he can have you all to himself when he’s home and he also makes very good money, but if you genuinely like your job/career. He’s supporting you 110% and won’t say anything

Will have you on his lap as he plays games or watches TV with you

If you also play games even better, sometimes he lets you win just to see you happy

But if you naturally beat him at a game where we didn’t let you win he’s all pouty and shit

Still can’t help but let his heart skip a beat when he sees you all excited, even if you’re rubbing your win in his face

If you have a cat, the cat and him are standoffish at first, kinda fighting for your attention but now they can’t be separated

Spends like a good 2 hours saying good bye to the cat before he is deployed

Falls asleep with it on his chest

If you have a dog he’s all over it immediately, treats it like it’s his childhood dog or smth

You catch him cuddling with the dog while watching TV, sometimes even falls asleep while watching and the dog just sits there with a smile on its face

Probably prefers big dogs but doesn’t mind either way

After he gets home from a mission no matter how long he was away, he’s hugging you, kissing you, and lifting you up in his arms in the middle of the airport like you haven’t seen each other in 5 years, doesn’t care if people are staring at all

If you get embarrassed he may tone it down a bit but he just can’t help himself

If you two get married/have a traditional wedding, he’s so impatient, just wants to kiss you

When he’s told he can he just wraps you in a bear hug and kisses you, he’s just so happy that he gets to be with you

If you don’t want to get married/don’t want a traditional wedding he’s also totally fine with that

Doesn’t care if you’re married or not, doesn’t care if the wedding is traditional or not he’s just so happy to be with you

Nsfw:

You two don’t make out for very long when you do because he’s also impatient in that area, can’t control himself sometimes he gets so worked up

He’s into some very kinky stuff (only with consent and very long talks from you two)

He also likes biting in the bedroom, if you aren’t ok with it he won’t draw blood or hurt you two bad but if you give him the ok, or even better want it, he’s having a field day

When he’s away he lives for phone sex with you

When domming he’s rough (unless you ask him not too or you’re more vanilla), but if either of you are having a bad day or smth he’s soft and very vanilla

When he’s having a bad day tho he prefers to sub, I think he’s pretty quiet when subbing, not for any particular reason, just is

Covers his mouth when subbing because even when being dommed he loves to hear you moan

Not above being pegged/anal

I’ve mentioned this in a couple of past posts but I fully believe that Keegan is a tit man

Doesn’t matter if they’re big, small, uneven, different sizes, covered in stretch marks, have hair, fake, or on a man HE. LOVES. TITS.

Will bury his head in them when cuddling and Will also occasionally cover them in hickeys

Also loves cumming all over them

If you don’t say otherwise, he’s all over them. You cannot detach this man from your boobs

If you’re insecure about them his mouth is not leaving them until you feel better

He would never admit this but he loves when you make him cum all over his clothes/in his pants

If you’re ok with it, he’ll do stuff like choking, spitting, specifically in your mouth/on your tongue, and the occasional ass slap (but remember consent is key guys)

He LOVES to eat you out, female genitalia or male genitalia he doesn’t care

Eye contact>>>

A bit of a dirty secret of his but he loves when you look away so he can hold your face and force you to look at him

Dirty talk dirty talk dirty talkkkkk

Oral fixation

Logan

Sfw:

He’s a bit of an anxious lover

Also less experienced than Keegan

He’s not clueless but you may have to guide him on some stuff

Very protective of you

Unlike Keegan, he can actually be trusted behind the wheel of a car

He prefers to show his love through acts of service

That’s not to say he doesn’t love any kind of affection giving or receiving

But there’s just something about being able to cook you breakfast while you’re asleep, taking care of you while you’re sick, and helping you pick out an outfit

Although I do have to admit he does also enjoy being taken care of

But he prefers to take care of you than be taken care of

Please cuddle this man likes he’s the most precious thing ever made, he needs it

He’s too embarrassed to admit it but he loved when you whisper and coo at him

And if you cuddle him while playing with his hair, this man is out COLD

But equally he loves when you fall asleep on top of him

I believe since he’s the youngest of the Walker family, he probably feels insecure about his strength so if you fall asleep wrapped in his arms it’ll make him feel big and strong

Cold days where you can cuddle with him>>>

His kisses are soft and calm

He was the one to confess, well kinda

Hesh did it for him

Hesh just kinda strolled up to you casually one day with Logan silently standing behind him

“Hey [name]! How are you? Cool cool. Anyways just letting you know Logan’s in love with you… bye!” And then he walks off leaving you and Logan alone

And it just went from there

Hesh wasn’t stupid, he knew you both liked each other but Logan wasn’t convinced

The only reason he let Hesh confess to you for him was because Hesh promised to treat him to a “sorry dinner” if he was wrong and you didn’t feel the same

Luckily Hesh was right

While Keegan is a biter, Logan is more of a licker

He won’t just randomly lick you like Keegan but he’ll probably kiss you somewhere and leave a little lick for shits and giggles

I do believe he’s selectively mute

So most of the time he doesn’t talk at all but I’m rare occasions he’ll whisper something to you and only you

Probably something like “baby I’m tired… can we go home?”

Or “I love you so so much”

It’s like a special treat just for you

He tries to take as many photos of you and the both of you together, prints it out, and takes the little photo with him on missions

Nsfw:

Prefers to soft dom

But either way he will absolutely destroy your insides as he kisses all up and down your torso

If he’s subbing, please crush this man’s head in between your thighs

Doesn’t matter if they’re thick, thin, fatty, muscly, whatever please just crush him

He wants to suffocate between them

He would happily die in between your legs

Also gets whiny when subbing

Jerk this man off while he whines and begs, bucking his hips up into your hands

Not really as kinky as Keegan but loves being rough or you being rough on him

Doesn’t matter if you have a dick yourself or use a strap on, he wants to deep throat it

Will bend you in half when fucking you

Especially when he’s close

If he’s feeling mean one day he will manhandle you

Flipping you from position to position on the bed, basically throwing you around like a rag doll

Sometimes he’ll wear his mask while you two will do it

Aftercare with him is top tier tho, kisses, maybe a bath or shower, food if you’re hungry, water, maybe even a hot chocolate

As I said earlier he loves to take care of you

Prefers things clean but does like cumming on your face

[kessellluvr]

˗ˏˋ once in a lifetime ´ˎ˗ nsfw!

pairing: professor!lottie x spouse!reader (i might write more for this ‘series’) wordcount: 1k

warnings: smut, vibrator use, age gap, mommy kink, fingering, dirty texing, teasing

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ taglist: @glrlsriot @chig78 @nogenderblender9358 @mayasaurusss @jadeisnothere5

You and lottie have been married for about 5 years now, she was the perfect partner for you. The day you first saw her in that café, oh damn, you fell in love with her.. that long black braid, the layered strands that framed her face so perfectly, defining her high cheekbones and that beautiful jawline. You repeatedly went to that café, praying to see her again - and well, somehow you ended up marrying that goddess.

Lottie worked alot, but she was passionate about her job - helping people to get further education to success in life. Of course, it was hard only seeing her on weekend and in the evenings, but you managed. Lottie teaches psychology and maths (sorry not sorry), you didnt have a clue about either of them so you werent really a big help. You and Lottie text alot when shes at work, just talking and when you realise she wasnt in a good mood, you decided to lighten it up a little..

“Hey Lots, i miss you..” you sent, still laying in bed even tho it was 11:30am already. Lottie could never, she’s always been an early bird.

“I miss you too.” she texted you back and oh that was dry, wasnt it? She usually uses pet names in her texts, trying to get you worked up. “You okay?” you asked her, sighing to yourself as you put the phone aside, throwing the blanket off yourself and sitting up. Your phone vibrated on the bedside table and you went to check what she replied.

“Im fine, really.” you read, raising your eyebrow and scoffing. “No Lots, youre not, talk to me. I can tell youre pissed.” you werent gonna give up that fast. As she read your message and didnt reply, you felt a little sting in your heart. Leaving you on seen? Really? Anyway, you went to get out of bed, leaving your phone on the bedside table and making your way into the bathroom. You stared at yourself for a good minute before splashing some water in your face, drying it off with a towel before going to brush your teeth.

As you finished getting ready, slipping into some pj’s and a shirt, you went to check your phone again. Still, no answer. You sighed and decided to try something else - lifting your shirt and taking a quick picture of your tummy, the soft curve of your boobs peaking from beneath your shirt. You hit the sent button and added another message “Answer me..” Fuck. That sounded desperate.

Meanwhile, Lottie saw your message - raising a brow and opening the picture, her eyes going wide as she looked at it for a while, trying not to show how much it affected her since she was literally in a room full of colleagues right now. “Jesus.. im just a little pissed off cause we got our new schedule in, i have to work full eight hours on friday.”

Your eyes lit up as you finally saw her respond, reading her message before typing “Awh that sucks.. but youll get home earlier on other days then, right?” you asked and she replied with a “yes”, you smiled - finally you could get to see her more throughout the week. I mean, that one day of working full wasnt gonna hurt, right?

“So, are you teaching right now or are ya on break?”

“just started my lecture.” you smiled at your phone, deciding to tease her a little. “mhm, im feeling horny right now.. mommy what do i do?”

“jeez, you know what to do.” you just knew she was trying so hard not to show a reaction infront of her students.

“no, tell me what to do mommy..”

“get the bullet vibrator we got you.” lottie texted back, you smiled brightly at your phone and rushed into the bedroom to get the vibrator. it was rather small, a bullet-like shape but a little bigger. it was a hot pink colour, even had tons of diffrent levels.

“hm i got it..”

“take off your boxers, turn it on lowest level and press it against ur pretty little clit.” and you did as she said, pulling down your sweatpants along with your boxers and turning the toy on lowest level, spreading your legs and pressing it lightly onto your clit - gasping as it made contact. “done” you typed out - hands shaky.

lottie left your message on seen, you didnt really notice - getting lost in yourself. the bedroom door swung open and revealed lottie, you gasped once again and lottie just chuckled. “fucking hell, you werent gonna cum without me telling you to, were you?” she teased as she walked towards the bed, undoing the buttons of her blouse and throwing it to the floor carelessly. “n-no lottie..” you stammered out, the vibrator was turned off and laid to the bedside table. “d-dont you have some lectures to do?”

“fuck that. i said i wasnt feeling well.” lottie said while going to straddle your hips, pushing your upper body down to the bed. you bit your lip, looking up at her with needy eyes. lottie smirked down at you, leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, her tounge slowly pushing in and meeting the tip of yours. her hand slipped between you both, her finger grazing over your swollen, wet clit. you moaned into the kiss, feeling her applying more pressure to your sensitive bud, slowly circling it while not breaking the kiss. she pulled her lips off of yours, gasping for air while going to press her fingers against your entrance- slowly pushing in and curling up, making you throw your head back. she started pumping her fingers faster, making you gasp and moan, you felt yourself so close to cumming already - lottie just knew where to touch you to make you come quck. your moans got louder, more desperate for release. “cum for mommy..” and you did, letting yourself get consumed by the orgasmic pleasure as you cried out her name, your thighs clenching together. lottie kept fingering you through your orgasm - until she finally pulled out and looked at you with a satisfied smile. “now, let me take a shower and we’ll continue..”

“can i join..?” you asked, still catching your breath as you looked at her with those cute eyes. “cmon then.”

━。゜AN: i know its not much, but i hope you enjoyed >_<

[choccy-milky]

Their kids are so cute omg i'm gonna dir of adorableness

lewis: then die LMFAOO NO BUT FRR THANK UU IM GLAD U THINK SO🥹🥹💖💖💖all the love for them (esp lewis) gave me the idea to draw him deflecting all the attention so ty for giving me the excuse to post it....we luv our aloof distant boi🥰

its funny bc i was JUST talking about this recently, but i dont like pet names at all BAHAH, hence why seb and clora dont call each other anything, not even nicknames.... seb calls her the light/princess/a bird sometimes as playful and teasing jokes, but doesnt actually address her like that. and clora always calls sebastian by his full name as well, bc i was basing her dialogue/my writing off the game dialogue...bc for as close as anne and ominis are to seb, both of THEM call him sebastian in full, so maybe it was a victorian thing that nicknames werent really common? plus clora's so proper that it just feels like its in her personality to always call seb "sebastian"... i feel like if she ever DID call him "seb" he'd do a double take and be like ...HUH? who are you???......are you polyjuiced? LMAO. i do imagine seb calling clora "love" when they get older tho (not in hogwarts) bc i like how simple it is, and imagining him saying stuff like 'careful, love' makes me🫠🫠🫠🫠

aw TYY💖💖 honestly i didnt give the victorian setting TOO much thought, other than making clora more modest/not used to wearing trousers etc. like the actual victorian courting process was that youd ALWAYS be chaperoned by at least 1 other person and you wouldnt be able to kiss or anything, so the fact that our mcs are in a co-ed school with free reign already ruins that, so i wouldnt worry too much about it. a lot of it you can just wave off with the excuse that wizard society is more advanced than muggle society, which is true anyway LOL. i just kept the parts that i thought were fun/made it feel victorian ENOUGH but got rid of the stuff that was too annoying (one big example being the amount of clothing they wear....i said it in the notes for one of my chapters, but i wasnt about to make seb go through like 5 different layers just to touch cloras titty LMFAO) and no i didnt have 1 specific website i used, id just google "blank in victorian times" and look through all the articles and resources i could on that subject, and take little bits of it. SO YEA i wouldnt worry about it too much, just take what you want if you think it could enrich your story, and leave stuff out if its annoying to deal with BHAHA. and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING!!💖💖

BAHAHA yeah sebs bark was defs bigger than his bite when it came to actually having kids/getting clora pregnant LOL. he defs loves the pregnancy part, but i feel like seeing her go through the actual labour was super hard on him/made him feel guilty bc he hates to see her in pain, let alone bc of HIM. not to mention that i imagine he would still work even once they have kids, so to leave clora with like 6 kids by herself isnt something he would have wanted to do LOL. once both lewis and celeste are in hogwarts tho i actually imagine seb and clora still doing curse breaking as well (albeit less dangerous jobs/not as far away) BUT YES having a third kid that looks like seb and is sassy like anne would be SO CUTEEE...a happy accident is a good idea too, tho i kinda like the idea of it being cloras idea.....like, she gets baby fever again now that the kids are kinda growing up and sebs like no i dont wanna put u through that again... but obvs seb wouldnt be able to resist if clora was begging seb to put a baby in her LMFAOOO its already as good as done at that point😇😇 AND THANK YOU, and im glad you liked it!!!🥹💖💖💖

@the-kcm-muggleborn AWWW ur right thats so pretty.....ty for showing me!!🥹and im glad it make you think of clora...SHE WOULD APPROVE OF THESE STUDIES👌⭐🌙

[fictarian]

yo yo yoooo ayo gang lemme get amm a hobie brown x gn reader whos like a photographer for the fucking news bullshit and like they are a fan of spider man fam thank uuu

𝐇𝐢𝐦 <𝟑 . ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝐏𝐭. 𝟓

ღ You ask and I DELIVER‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

ღ Thank you guys for 60+ followers, it makes me happy you guys like my shit despite only doing this for 3-5 days 😭

ღ ANYWAYS, here’s a story for my boy @thearabloak06 🙏 Tysm for requesting, I hope you enjoy and I hope this story isn’t ass since it’s my first time in awhile writing a full on fic LMFAO

ღ Paring: Hobie Brown and GN! Reader

ღ Premise: Reader has their own section of the daily newspaper, and they use it to write for the anarchist by the name of ‘Spider-Punk’ while also providing pictures they’ve caught of him in action

ღ Whoopsie daisy I just made this into more of a detective/mystery novel instead of a romance 💀 200-400 likes and i’ll make a part 2 (or even its own series)

ღ Previous part can be found here !

“_____, my office, now!” You let out a heavy sigh as the door to your boss’ office slammed shut after he barked an order, and you could feel the eyes following you as you stood up from your desk and made your way over to the room, tossing your empty coffee cup into the trash before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

“Have a seat” He ordered, but your feet remained glued to the ground. “I’m good standing” You stiffly said, crossing your arms over your chest with narrowed eyes. “You asked for me, sir?” In response, your boss slammed a newspaper onto his desk, pushing it forward so you could get a good look at it— it was the paper for today, and you had a pretty reasonable guess as to why he was so peeved.

“We’ve been over this, _____. I don’t want that spider freak in my newspaper.” He seethed, picking up the newspaper and shoving it in your face, pointing specifically at the section you were assigned to. “You know what this gives us? A bad, bad reputation. We’re already on thin ice as it is, and if you keep this up, my company will get shut down all thanks to your stories!”

Your lips tightened into a thin line, feeling your blood boil at what he was saying. Quite frankly, he could take his worries and shove it up his ass for all you cared. The government was corrupt and violent to the people it’s supposed to protect and serve, and Spider Punk was the only symbol of hope the community had. You admired the infamous anarchist, and you wanted everybody to know about him— the possibly only voice of the people.

So that’s why you used the section of the Daily newspaper granted to you, to spread word of Spider Punk’s actions and his defiance against the government. You wanted the people to know about what was going on, to feel empowered knowing that one of their own was rising up against the injustices against them. And if it costed your job, or even your life, so be it. You weren’t just gonna sit around and act like nothing was happening.

Your boss’ words were only fueling your anger. This wasn’t the first time you two had this conversation, in fact, all of your conversations were about this topic. It took all of your willpower to not punch him in the jaw as you opened your mouth to say “But sir, the newspaper is meant to inform people. And with all the smashed law enforcement cars and protests going on, it would be wise to—“ “I dont’t want to hear it! Keep this up, and you can kiss your place here goodbye!” He yelled in your face, and that was your last straw.

“I don’t have to, ‘cause I quit. You can kiss all of your readers goodbye, ‘cause I know damn well the only reason they read your lousy ass newspaper is because of information I provide!” You snapped, turning on your heel and marching out the door, tuning out the string of curses that followed as you exited the building with smoke practically blowing out of your ears. Ok, maybe you handled that the wrong way. But it was too late to go back now… well, you still had to get your stuff from your desk. ‘Embarrassing’ You thought to yourself, keeping your head held high as you turned back around to enter the building for the last time.

You didn’t stay there long, since you didn’t even have much to begin with. The items that occupied your desk consisted of your notepad, your trusty laptop (it was old enough to be considered a fossil), an uneaten nutter butter, and your camera thats strap wrapped comfortably around your neck while your other belongings were placed inside your satchel. With all your items packed away, you were now walking the streets of London as the reality of the situation set in— you didn’t have a job anymore. No source of money, and no way to have a voice in the community.

‘You’re forgetting to breath’ You told yourself, registering the tightness that was beginning to form in your chest and taking a couple deep breaths to ease the panic. This was fine, you were fine. You could always start a blog of your own, and there were plenty of jobs that needed more employees. ‘But it’s not as easy as it sounds, i’ll need to fill out a application, i’ll need to be interviewed, and—‘ Your thoughts were cut short when you suddenly bumped into someone, and you muttered a quick apology before continuing on. “Oi, you’re that chick that writes fo’ the paper, aren’t you?”

You stop, turning to look back at the person you bumped into. He was quite the looker, if you were being completely honest. The male was tall, and dressed in outfit that screamed ‘punk’. He had well done wicks, and a confident aura surrounded him. “It’s rude to stare, y’know?” “Oh, i’m sorry. I spaced out for a second.” You apologized when he called you out, before adding “My name is _____”. The male nodded his head, his gloved hand tucked away in the pocket of his pants. “‘Obie, ‘Obie Brown” Holy shit, you knew he looked familiar. “Aren’t in a band?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. “I play with ‘em occasionally, but I don’t believe in consistency.”

You slowly nodded your head, not bothering to question what he meant by that. “Riiight…” The sound of sirens caught your attention, and you looked over your shoulder to see the blue and red lights of law enforcement cars dancing off the walls of buildings. “I wouldn’t suggest goin that way, luv. There was a bad scrap with a couple fellas lookin for a bad time” Hobie warned you, causing you to furrow your brows in confusion. Didn’t he come from that way?

The reporter in you told you that there was something amiss, but you didn’t act on the feeling. Not yet. “Yikes, thanks for the warning. I’ll take a different route to my flat.” You informed him, and he nodded his head before turning his back towards you. “I’ll be seein you ‘round, _____. Maybe come to one of my concerts, yeah?” He suggested as he started to walk away. But you weren’t listening.

You were too busy staring at the prominent red, spike having mask that stuck out of Hobie’s back pocket

“Yeah… i’ll take you up on that offer. Cheers!” You called out to Hobie, waiting a couple seconds before lifting your camera up and putting its viewfinder up to your eye, zooming in on the mask before snapping a picture of it. “Christ…” You muttered to yourself, staring at the screen of your camera in disbelief.

You just found yourself with knowledge that could cost you your life

tag list ! @zalayni @luvstarrstruck @jrrantss @pixqlsin @kairiscorner @k4tsu3 @asmobeuses

[dittaturamonegasca]

I think there should bé a fic where anyone from the grid would be third wheeling Landoscar, like, have you seen how these two interact.

So, I lack the ability and the time of f1writingbyme and LestappenForever to make this idea into a proper work like they did for "How (Not) To Third Wheel Lestappen" (check it out on Ao3 if you haven't already, definitely worth it) BUT BUT BUT, I can tell you how I think most of the grid would react in third wheeling Landoscar!

1) I feel like we should spare Checo, cause honestly this man has had enough as third wheel of Maxiel and Lestappen, I don't wanna give him extra traumas, SO –

2) Logan Sargeant: this one I really feel guilty about. Cause I like the narrative of him and Oscah being besties and still I cry over the sad edits of Logan just left behind. I think Landoscar with Logan has the most space for improvement?? I forgive Oscar even tho he definitely ghosted the poor Logan for the whole honeymoon phase with Lando (it's been almost two years, Osc, get a grip). I have a feeling Logan will speak up at some point and this would shake Oscar a little, so maybe he would be the more aware and more involved third wheel, possibly? They'll end up doing triple video-games championships with Lando and Logan mocking Oscar's gaming skills, mark my words.

3) Carlos Sainz: my man how does it feel to know you've wasted your chance (multiple chances, lets be real) for good? I have mixed ideas about this one, cause I think it would probably being more like Lando struggling to keep them both as close as possible resulting in Oscar being rightfully jealous 👀👀 so the third wheeling situation would be like Lando trying to involve a very annoyed and confused Carlos in their things (safe for work, ofc). I don't really see a way out of it.

4) Daniel Ricciardo: I mention him but I can't really explain cause honestly my idea of Daniel third-wheeling Landoscar is either him babysit them around Australia and bonding with Oscar over weird aussie habits OR OR OR something very NOT SAFE WORK so ( ... )

5) Max Verstappen: I love to think he'll remain an unbothered king, you know? Like he's well aware and a bit upset that his crepes companion invited someone else (beside from Daniel) to their dessert dates and that the two of them acts like lovebirds even without an actual physical contact. He'll probably send SOS texts to Charles and Daniel until a topic of (his) interest comes out and honestly at that point the power of maxplaining will win over pretty much everything and everyone. At the end of the day Landoscar turn out to be the real victims.

6) George Russell: poor thing was originally invited for a golf morning from Carlos (Landoscar were already supposed to attend), but Chili called off last minute so Georgie ended up with just the others two. LET ME TELL YOU he jumped off the golf cart cause he saw Lando placing a hand on Oscar's thigh and feared for his life. It took several minutes for them to notice he was aggressively walking behind. He was also hit by a golf ball because Oscar distracted Lando for a second too long, I guess you can figure out the rest.

7) Special mention to the PR and the McLaren team in general who's main job rn is having them to SIMPLY F O C U S outside the pit for like interviews and debriefings. I can picture Lando losing it after hearing a single compliment like "SO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY", cause ✨babygirl✨ energy hitting here and there, even tho he has tried to be somehow a model for Oscar, at least for what concerns work. Indeed I pity trainers and strategists bc ofc Oscar listens at them, but image them trying to explain a concept to him just for Lando to get there and rephrase it in the dumbest way possible and Oscar going like OHHHHH NOW I GOT IT, COULDN'T YOU EXPLAIN IT THAT WAY?

8) This is mostly a guilty pleasure but do we all agree they torture the entire f1 group chat with their subtle flirting?

IDK if this was what you had in mind but I really REALLY had fun writing it.

So let me know what you think in the comments down below, if you agree or if you want me to make it longer and/or more detailed or just to focus on a specific one in particular?

Again, my dms and box section are open to discussions, requests and any sort of (respectful) thing!

PEACE OUT 🤌🏻❤️

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: May 20, 2024 🎀

omg it'd almost the end of May, what the heck? I'm so excited, I leave to Colorado for my 8 weeks of work very soon and I can't wait! it's going to be such a cool experience being in a new place for a while!

Monday was a good day. My dad and my boyfriend both think I overdid it on the physical exertion a bit, and I agree. I took a long walk, outside, in 95 degree heat, with no sunscreen. Which is why they said I overdid it because my chest and shoulders are sooooo sunburnt. But Monday was amazing! Started off strong, ended not as strong but still good!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

~13k+ steps for the day

took an hour and a half long walk outside(it was amazing, I loved it, I stayed hydrated ans soaked up all the sunlight and fresh air)

completed a 30 min beginner pilates workout from Move with Nicole

did my morning journaling and gratitude

wrote down a positive quote of the day and read through my journal where I wrote down some things that I want to read daily

read and "annotated" 14 pages of Atomic Habits

took a 20 minute power nap

worked a ~6.5 hour shift

drank at least ~80oz of water (that's pretty good given I used to drink like 20oz a day and wonder why I never felt good)

took my two medications + vitamin D supplement

took a cool shower and washed my hair at the end of the day

went to sleep early!

💞 Good Things That Happened

my friend and a supervisor im close with complimented my appearance in a way that gave me a confidence/motivational boost

my other friend and I decided we're probably getting our nails done together next week

that same friend ^ and I are going to go shopping next week as well

my work is going to schedule me where I can still go to brunch with my dad on Friday!

my man starts his first day of work on Tuesday (I'm so excited for him! It's gonna suck not being able to text him all day, but I'm so proud of him for getting this job and all the progress he's made)

got complimented on how efficient I was at work by the night shift supervisor

ate goods that made me happy without feeling guilty or anxiety about it

💔 What Could've Gone Better

I over ate a bit at night after work and felt kind of bloated and sick when I went to bed. it's okay tho, things happen, and Tuesday is a new day <3

super sunburnt!!!! my chest and shoulders are bright, bright red! and I'm a naturally pretty tan person, so seeing my skin that red, yep, I'm definitely super burnt! need to wear sunscreen and protective clothes when I take a shorter walk on tuesday

I definitely overdid it on that walk. got too overzealous and pushed myself a lot. my legs were hurting so bad by the end of the day and that's not good. as much as I enjoyed the walk, I need to be so much more kinder to and thoughtful of my body. it does a lot for me, and I need to treat it right <3

💗 Stuff For Tuesday

take a shorter walk outside in the morning

read more of Atomic Habits (and annotate)

begin studying Spanish some more (fell off the habit but I have a lesson next Tuesday the 28th, so I need to be prepared!)

do some gentle morning and night skincare (my face is a little red from yesterday but not too bad since I wore a hat during my walk)

do my morning beginner pilates and gratitude journaling (I've already done these as of right now, but I struggled with the so-called "beginner" pilates video from IsaWelly. practice makes perfect, tho so I've got to keep consistent!)

book nail appointments with my friend for next week (hopefully the nail tech/nail salon I go to has availability for her and I to go together! I also need to pick the design i want!)

budget for this upcoming paycheck and what I need to save vs what I'm going to spend (and need to buy)

work a ~5 hour shift

talk to my man over video call at the end of the day to see how work/training went for him (it's his first day of work, but it's a hands on training kind of day for him as well)

💕 Song of The Day: aespa - Supernova

what an absolutely amazing song omg. aespa literally never misses with their music. I almost put Spicy, but I've been obsessed with Supernove since it dropped. I love it so much <3

That's all for Monday, like I said, it was a beautiful start to the week for me! And here's to Tuesday being a good day as well <3 I hope everyone here has a wonderful beginning of their week!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[aissa-snapped]

Vikings and Hairstylists

Summary:You get the opportunity to work on the set of Vikings. But when you meet your celebrity crush, how will you react? Will anything happen between you two?

A/N This was so exicitng for me to write. I hope yall will enjoy this as much as I did.

Word count:8795

You couldn`t believe it. You got the job! This was so unbelievable, that you kept repeating the memory of how it went down.

You were fresh out of Beauty School, looking for a job. Ever since you started watching hair braiding tutorials on youtube, which was a few years back, you found a new passion for hair. You watched every hair video, hair routine, hair products reviews there was on the internet, and you couldn`t wait to one day become a famous hairstylist, specializing in braids and giving people the hair of their dreams.

With that in mind, you were trying to gather your thoughts and come up with a strategic plan that could allow you to launch a career in this field. Maybe I should ask around at salons to take me in as an assistant. That would give me a good start. You thought. Many people started off as just that, hairstylist assistants. But that was not to be looked down upon, for it was the best way to practice and learn more tricks.

You were getting tired, and decided to just let the idea rest at the back of your head, and switched to scrolling through Instagram. It was as if the Gods were guiding you towards your path, because it was at that very moment that you opened the app, that you saw something that was a clear sign of the Higher Beings listening to your cries.

`` FELLOW VIKINGS FANS, WE ARE ANNOUNCING SOMETHING VERY EXCITING. WE ARE OFFERING OUR FANS A CHANCE TO COME ON SET AND WORK WITH THE AMAZING VIKINGS TEAM. WE ARE HAVING 5 OPEN SPOTS FOR NEW HAIRSTYLISTS, TO COME AND WORK CLOSELY WITH OUR CAST. REQUIREMENTS: -A DIPLOMA THAT LEGALLY ALLOWS THE PERSON TO WORK AS A Hairstylist and -A PORTOFOLIO OF PREVIOUS HAIRSTYLES DONE ON VARIOUS TYPES OF HAIR ( LONG, SHORT, CURLY,STRAIGHT) SEND US YOUR PORTOFOLIO TO OUR E-MAIL, ALONG WTH A VIDEO OF YOURSELF DOING AN INTRICATE BRAID (YOU CAN USE A REAL PERSON OR A MANNEQUIN) WE WILL SEND AN E-MAIL TO THE 5 LUCKY PEOPLE WHO WON THE CONTEST.

It was utterly shocking. Mouth agape, you re-read the announcement at least ten times, before finally squealing in happiness. You were a HUGE fan of the TV series Viking, hence you were trembling, and with shaky hands, you closed your phone, taking deep breaths in and out to calm yourself.

Moments later, with a clear head, you re-read the requirements, and frowned at the one year experience requirement. Your beauty school lasted exactly one year, and you had to also help at the salon you were studying at, so you wondered if that can count as experience. As for the portofolio, you had done some amazing hairstyles on your models, and, thank the Gods, you were now more than ever grateful for the fact that youve had this inclination towards braids, because half of your phones gallery was full with photos of you doing all sorts of braid variations on your friends. You even took inspiration from the show, and tried to recreate one of the most complex braids on your models. So your portofolio was pretty solid.

It had been days after you sent the requested things to the Vikings e-mail, and you couldnt sit still for not even one second. You kept checking your e-mail, your Instagram dms every hour, fidgeting with your phone all day long. You told your family and closest friend about this of course, and they were all very happy you found this opportunity, tho you could tell by their eyes that they felt sympathy for you, knowing you`d never get selected out of all thousands of fans out there.

And you, too, started to believe it slowly, after each day passed away without any feedback from the Vikings team. So you decided you wouldn`t sulk around, and you started enjoying your free time by meeting up with your girlfriends and forgetting you even submitted the e-mail.

Until one day, when it was late and you checked your e-mail for a confirmation code for an app, that you saw another e-mail had been sent, and when you saw who was it from, you almost threw your phone up to the ceiling, almost smashing it in excitement. The Vikings team had written back to you, expressing their amazement and eagerness to have you as a new member of their team.

And now you were on a plane, on your way to Dublin, to start working on the set of Vikings. This was still so surreal, you had to hold back giggles and excitement, not wanting to look like a maniac to the other people around. Oh, if only they knew where you were going.

Once youve landed and got your baggage, you were met with a large crowd of people, each standing and waiting for someone. You glanced around the crowd, until you noticed a man in a black, fancy suit and a woman standing next to him, holding a big sign with your name on it. You rolled your baggage over there, greeting both of them politely. '' Hello there. I am Emily. And this is Kevin, one of the drivers. We will take you to the hotel now, and in the meantime, I will explain to you briefly tomorrows schedule.'' She smiled kindly, putting a hand on your back and guiding you towards the exit, while Kevin took the baggage for you, carrying it towards the car.

The ride was about twenty five minutes, enough for Emily to give you a rundown of how everything works around there. Tomorrow, you were going to be picked up by the same driver at around 5 am, and then taken to the set. You were going to meet Shaila, the main stylist, who will guide you and show you what you have to do. It seemed easy enough, only, you couldn`t believe you were going to meet the actors you were only used to seeing on TV. You were especially nervous to meet Alex, who plays Ivar. Emily also explained how the filming of season 5 was beginning officially tomorrow, and that you would witness first hand how the magic happens.

Once you reached the hotel, you glanced at the name. Conrad Dublin. 5 Stars. Damn It looked extremely luxurious. You were dearly hoping you wouldn`t be the one paying for the stay.

Emily helped you check in, while Kevin brought in your luggage.

'' This is yours.'' She handed you a keycard, with the numbers 203 on it. '' Today is your free day. As its only 3 in the afternoon, you can feel free to explore the area. The center is less than a kilometer away. Theres tons of pubs around here, stores, supermarkets. The company will take care of your bills for the room. Unfortunately, we do not offer an included breakfast pack with the stay, but seeing you are on set more than half a day, we have a buffet there, so you don't have to worry about that. my suggestion, don't stay up too late. Go to sleep earlier, and don't forget, be out here before 5. Other than that…'' She trailed off, seemingly trying to think if she told you everything you needed to know. '' Well, I guess that`s it. Feel free to explore the city. Bye.'' She waved and left with Kevin.

You went to your room, plopping down on your bed. It was a small hotel room, but honestly who cared? It was so luxurious, and so well kept, you were at first afraid to touch anything. You inhaled the fresh smell of the sheets, sighing in contentment.

You wondered, were you the only one staying at the hotel? Or were there other cast/crew members?

You took a nice cold shower, trying to get off that travel dirt off of you. You got out of the shower all energized, ready to go for a little stroll. Changing in a simple oversized shirt, with a David Bowie picture on it, and comfy sweatpants, you grabbed your phone, placing your keycard inside your phonecase and took the elevator down to the lobby.

Taking a brisk walk, you took every second to glance at various buildings, appreciating the infrastructure. As Emily said, there were tons of pubs, and in your 10 minute walk, you saw at least 5. You loved the Dublin atmosphere. For a capital city, it wasnt as crowded or as loud as you would have guessed. Or maybe that was just because you werent necessarily in a touristic area.

You decided to turn back around, after 30 minutes of walking, deciding this was enough walking. On your way back home, you stopped at a supermarket, called Fresh and bought some junk food that would get you going until the next day.

You finally reached your hotel room, plopping onto the bed yet again and turned on the TV, for some background noise. You opened your bag of chips, along with you store bought coffee, and started snacking, while texting your family, letting them know you got to the hotel all safely. When it was around 10 pm, you decided you should listen to Emily, and go to sleep.

You were rudely snapped out of your deep sleep by your alarm, ringing insistently. With a grunt, you quickly turned it off, and after a few seconds of staying motionless, you rolled out of bed with a long sigh. You brushed your teeth, washed your face with some cold water, to get the puffiness out of your eyes to go down, and then went straight to the pre-established clothes you decided on wearing the previous night. You weren`t aware of any dresscodes, so you decided not to overdress, nor underdress. So your final decision was a pair of clean, simple jeans, a plain white shirt, and a pair of green converse. You hoped this would suffice. Grabbing your handy-dandy backpack, packed with your essentials, you headed towards the exit of the building.

It was really chilly outside. The sun wasn't even up yet, and well, considering it was still 4 50 am, it wasn't a shocker. Down at the lobby, you couldn't see anybody. Not even the receptionist.

A couple of chuckles were heard behind you, and you turned to see a group of 4 girls coming up to you.

'' Hey… You don't happen to be the new hairstylist…for you-know what, do you?'' A blonde girl asked.

You were wondering if thee girls were the other 4 contestants that won. '' For… The.. Show you mean?'' You asked directly. The other 3 girls giggled, and the blonde one smiled. '' Yeah. That`s what I meant. I had to make sure you're not just a random person. You see, we signed some papers, that forbid us to tell other people where we actually work.''

'' Oh..really?''

'' Yeah. Anyway, I am Aurora. The ginger one is Phoebe, that one is Amalia and Cassie.'' She presented, pointing to a curly haired girl, with ginger hair, respectively two brunettes, one with long hair, Cassie and the short haired brunette Amalia.

'' Yn.'' You replied timidly, slightly intimidated by how beautiful these girls were.

You 5 started chatting, asking each other basic questions, such as how and why you got into this field, for how long, and other personal ones, until you were interrupted by the arrival of Kevin, who waited patiently and silently for you all to climb into his vehicle. He greeted you all with a short mornin and then remained silent throughout the whole car ride, that was fortunately filled with the conversations struck by the girls.

Half an hour later, you came to a stop, somewhere far from the city, on a hill, that looked pretty much like it was in the middle of nowhere. But at a second glace, you notice, you were in some form of parking, for there were many cars around the place, scattered messily over a mile, and tons of trailers at a walking distance. You girls were guided by Kevin through a little gate, who was guarded by a security man, and after checking your ID`s, you were told to go find trailer number 13.

You felt your nerves resurfacing. You were actually here. On the set of one of the most streamed shows. Luckily, you werent completely alone, as you had the new found girls by your side. You all found the trailer, and by public demand, you were chosen to be the one to knock on the door. Shakily, you used your knuckles to hit the door two times, hoping someone inside heard it. After you all heard a faintcome in`, you opened the door and stepped into the trailer, with the rest of the girls following you.

Once inside, you noticed three typical hair stations you'd see at any salon, with a mirror each, and pictures of the actors with the hair on. At last, you glanced at the far end of the trailer, bent down, a woman. She quickly stood up, and that's when you finally glanced over her frame. She was a woman in her mid 40s, with a chubbier figure, mid length hair, with some blonde highlights all over. She looked very kind, like a mother that would bake you cookies every day.

'' `Ello girls. I'm Shaila. The main hairstylist. '' She shook hands with every girl, listening in return for each of their names.

'' Right. So let's get straight to it. This is the first week of filming season 5. We have an awful lot of new characters, and old ones that need an upgrade. Today is Monday. We don't usually film on Mondays. We test new hairstyles, see what works, what doesnt. We prepare for the shooting days. Michael told me about the contest. Ever since I told him we need more stylists, he's been doing the most to gather some new ones. The thing is girls,'' at this, she was giving you all a nervous look. '' This week you 5 will be on probation. That means, by the end of week, we will announce which one of you will be staying here permanently. I know the announcement said 5 people will be working here, but truth is, in the meantime, we have found 4 other stylists that are more familiar with working on a movie/TV show set. But, we are in need of one more. So you have until Friday to do your best, impress us and we will decide who will get the post.'' She finished, studying each girl independently. There was a dull silence.

You glanced at Aurora, next to you, but she was looking down. Shaila was waiting for someone to ask a question, but after a few moments, she took the silence as a que to speak again.

'' Alright. So each one of you will be working closely to one of the other main stylist. I am now going to tell you who is going in which trailer.'' She then proceeded to assign each girl to a separate trailer. '' You Yn, will be working in this trailer with me. Alright… Now-'' she glanced at her watch.

'' Oh dear, we need to hurry. It`s 5:30. The cast will be here any minute. You girls go ahead. We will see each other at lunch. '' She shooed them off, shutting the door behind them. Once you were left alone with Shaila, she turned around and grinned at you.

''So… Yn. Beautiful name. Unique. Here let me show you.'' She pointed at each seat. '' In this trailer, we work always on the same three people. Look here.'' Glancing at her pointy finger, you followed it and saw there were several pictures with whom you recognized as the Ragnarsons, with the focus on their hair, from different angles.

'' We mainly work on Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar`s character here…'' She trailed off. '' You know who they are I assume?'' You nodded quickly.

'' My colleague, Peter, works alongside me. And you see, Ivars hair was, so far, short. So there wasnt much to do. But as for this season, we are going to change his hairstyle, because his hair has grown out some more and we have more options. You see, as characters evolve, so does their hair. So we were in need of someone new to work with us. Because without a third stylist here, it would be too difficult for us two to finish their hair on time.''

With widened eyes, you looked at her, amazed that you will be meeting one of your favorite characters in a few. You nodded along with everything Shaila was saying, to show her you were paying attention.

Soon enough, Peter joined you two. He was a rather tall scrawny man, short gingered hair and a slight beard coming through. He was super funny, and very energetic, for the fact that it was this early in the morning. But that could`ve also been an added factor from the coffee in his hand.

You were getting more nervous by the minute, knowing the three main characters of the show would be walking in at any given moment. Peter and Shaila were conversing casually, not the least bit worried or nervous, as you were. Which was understandable. They`ve been here for quite a long time.

Lacing at your smartwatch, you felt your heart jolting, when you heard faint masculine voices, fastly approaching the trailer. Now, more than ever, you felt as if your heart would jump right out of your body. With a loud creak, the trailer`s door was forcefully opened, in stepping the boisterous boys. You first saw a bearded man, with his sides shaved, and a base cap on, greeting Shaila and Peter. Second, you saw a young man with quite longer hair than the first one, holding a beer in his hand, and laughing obnoxiously loud at someone behind him. And then, you saw… Him.

Your celebrity crush, the most handsome man youve ever set eyes on. He was talking in a language you couldnt comprehend. Must be Danish. Sporting a simple black shirt, and grey sweatpants, hair in an improvised man bun, he stepped into the trailer last, shutting the door loudly behind him.

The boys all struck up a conversation with Shaila, while each going to their assigned chairs. It was only after another minute, and Shaila mentioning there`s someone else in the trailer, that they all glanced at you, through their respective mirrors.

You made yourself look as small as possible, for it was under their gazes that you felt like a little mouse in a wolf`s den, if that makes sense. They all smiled at you, and one by one, got up from their seats and lined up to greet and shake hands with you.

'' Jordan Patrick. Nice to meet you.'' The bearded man presented himself, giving you a firm handshake. You could hear a very strong Australian accent from him. '' Yn.'' You said quietly, hoping he won't make you repeat it. '' Marco.'' The second man seemed to have a little smirk on his face, and took it a step further and kissed the back of your hand.

You blushed furiously, even forgetting to say your name back. Last, but not least, Alex approached you. '' Alex. Nice to meet you.'' He grinned, waiting for you to shake hands, but when you reached out, he instead put his arms around you, pulling you into a bear hug. You took a second to react, and when you came back to your senses, you hugged him back, but not with the same intensity, as you feared you would come off as a crazy fan. Your cheeks were so hot, you could feel it.

When he pulled away, he winked at you, and when he turned around, he grinned at Marco. He got seated back in between Marco and Jordan, looking at the former. ''Fik hende til at rødme'' He said something to Marco, not that you could understand it, and he started laughing while Marco was scoffing, almost jokingly. ( Made her blush)

Shaila showed you how a normal day looks like in the trailer, explaining theoretically and visually how she worked on the boys hair. She showed you reference photos and other sketches of how she was imagining Ivar`s hair this season.

'' I want to start today with something simple. Can you do Dutch braids?'' She asked. You nodded promptly.

'' Good. Please start with a central braid, and then two smaller Dutch braids on each side of his hair.'' She showed you, using her fingers, where she imagined each section to start and end.

With clammy hands, ( you quickly wiped them on your jeans, trying to be discreet) you picked your rat tail comb, and started sectioning the central part for the braid. While doing so, Alex was watching your every movement, making it even more difficult for you to calm down.

Once you had each section parted and clipped out of the way, you slowly started working on the biggest braid. The first few strands of the braid were beginning to create the shape of the it, and you were getting into your element. Before you even realized it, you had the first braid finished, and began working on the side ones.

The other actors were chatting with each other, occasionally Shaila piping in, or Peter saying a very corny joke. You loved Alexs laugh. It was so genuine and filled with happiness. You could only imagine what it must feel like to hear it every day. You sighed.Oh great, nows not the time to daydream about being his gilfriend.

Alex glanced back at you after he heard you sigh, lifting one eyebrow at you. Making eye contact through the mirror, you refrained a smile appearing on your face, and immediately looked away from him. You heard him chuckle quietly, and then engaged back in a conversation with the other guys.

You notified Shaila, hoping she will satisfied with your work. Alex looked at you, giving you a thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

'' Hmm.. You could`ve added a bit more gel here. See these tiny fly aways? And tease the hair at the roots just slightly here on top, for a bit of volume. We want to make sure it appears they have lots of hair. '' She continued analyzing each braid carefully, humming to herself.

''But overall, this is really good. You did great. For your first day. '' She patted you on the shoulder.

Alex winked at you, causing you to turn away from him to hide your blush. Damn he really is flirty you thought.

When all the guys were finished, they all ran out of the trailer to check the set, run lines and gods know what else actors do.

You were left with Shaila, while Peter left the trailer to smoke a cig. The woman pulled a head mannequin out of a cabinet, and began showing you typical braids they do on extras, teaching you and giving you tips here and there where she felt like it.

Hours later, you were starting to get hungry. It had been hours of you just standing in the trailer. Shaila insisted on showing you every single little tool in there, explain to you how a real work day unfolds, since she didnt consider this particular day to be one at its full intensity, which quite frankly scared you, because this was already too much, but if this wasnt the hardest, then what was to come?

Around lunch time, the two adults led you towards the lunch tents. It was like at a festival, with big tents, dozen of wodden benches, and so many people, it was crazy. Shaila showed you where to go to get your food from, and then she left back towards the trailer stating she had some work to finish up for tomorrow.

You felt so intimidated by the number of these people, and you hoped you could see the girls somewhere, so you could go to them.

Once you grabbed your lunch, which was mostly mashed potatoes, some tomato salad and some grilled cheese, you desperately tried spotting some known faces around here, for a second time.

It seemed impossible in this sea of people, so you now decided to walk towards the exit, hoping to find an empty table, but as you were passing between tables, you heard someone yell out your name.

You turned your head and tried to find the person who shouted, and almost instantly you spotted Alex, waving his hands highly in the air, as if attempting to make himself noticeable for you. You stood there motionless, unsure if he was actually the one to shout at you, but when you saw him make a hand gesture that signaled for you to come over, you took slow, self-conscious steps towards him.

He seemed eager to have you approach, and once you reached his table, he put his hand on your back, guiding you to sit down next to him.

Now that you were finally settled, you looked around the table, and you almost screamed. You saw Marco and Jordan, but also recognized Alexander Ludwig, who plays Bjorn. and then you also observed a beautiful blonde girl, sitting next to him, whom you knew to be Georgia Hirst.

You were sat down next to Alex, who himself was sat between yourself and Marco, and then on the opposite side, you had Georgia sitting right face to face with you, next to Jordan and then finally Alexander.

'' Alex, who have you brought here?'' Asked Alexander, with a teasing tone and nudging Jordan to join in on his teasing.

'' Oh. She`s the new hairstylist in my trailer.'' He put his left hand on your right shoulder, squeezing it softly.

You laughed softly. '' Uhm actually… I`m on… probation. We will find out who stays here permanently at the end of the week.'' You chuckled nervously.

'' Well, I Know you will. Cuz you were so good with your hands.'' Alex said, seemingly not aware of how that sounded. Once the other guys started laughing and hooting at what he said, he blushed and tried to correct himself. ''I- meant shes fast. She worked really fast. Thats what I me- Oh Shut it'' He reached across the table to whack Alexander on the arm from all the teasing he was doing.

You looked at your food, starting to feast on it and ignoring the comments flying around you.

'' And what is your name?'' You made eye contact with Georgia, who seemed to be the sweetest and the most normal person from this table.

'' Yn.'' You replied shortly, and then started eating some tomatoes, hoping no one would talk to you anymore, because you were hungry and wanted to be left alone.

''So…? Tell us!'' Alex insisted, looking at you and waiting for something from you.

Confused, you frowned your eyebrows at him, shrugging '' Tell you..what?''

'' Well about you. How you got here, how long have you been doing hair, have you watched the show?''

And so you answered all their questions. Well, more than 90% of them were fired by Alex, but occasionally one of the other guys would also ask you something as well. Georgia listened intently to what you had to say, but then calmed Alex and the other boys down when she noticed you were starting to get overwhelemd.

'' That`s enough. Let her eat.'' And with that, the boys listened like good children, and left you tending to your food.

Right before you all left, he saw you standing up ready to leave, so he asked you to give him your instagram.

You were quite embarrassed to have him look at your profile, knowing the photos you`ve taken were not nearly half as good as his, but then you also thought, he asked for it, so he should suffer the consequences.

You were back at the trailer, and for the next hours, you were told to recreate some hairstyle Shaila showed you on a picture, until it was finally time to go home.

You were completely exhausted. And you were scared for tomorrow. You went to the parking lot, found Kevin and jumped into the car, finding relief in being able to sit down and give your legs a bit of relief. The other girls approached the car one by one, and when you were all in, you all started sharing your today`s experience.

'' I met Harald Finehair GUYS. UGH he was so fine.'' Amalia said, exaggerating and making you all gag and giggle.

'' Ew stop it. He`s way too old for you. But I met Georgia Hirst and Ida. They were super nice.'' Phoebe added.

When you told them about who you met, they all seemed a bit.. Jealous? They gave you a fake smile, and then quickly changed the subject.

Once you reached your room, you sighed in relief, finally you were alone. You took a shower, dried up and then you pulled your phone out, noticing all the unread messages from your frineds. After you answered them all, you went on Instagram out of habit.

You went to see you had some notifications. iris2002 liked your post 3h carina0_donnell liked your post 4h alexhoeghandersen liked your post 6h alexhoeghandersen liked your post 6h alexhoeghandersen started following you 6h

WAIT WHAT??!?!!? HE FOLLOWED ME BACK?! SHIT I mean, it was expected. After all, he did just ask for your Instagram didn`t he?

You checked your dms, seeing as you had some unread messages on there as well, but the one that popped before everyone else, was from the same person who had followed you back a few hours ago.

You shakily opened the chat, not knowing what to expect.

Heej. What are you doing? Hiii. I just got back to the hotel. im so exhausted

I know how you feel you hungry? do you maybe uh wanna grab some food? I know a few good places around Dublin :))

You blinked rapidly, your heartbeat rising. Was that for real? You kept clicking on his name, checking to see if he is the Real Alex. You left him on read for a few minutes, while you were contemplating on whether or not you should go.

With sweaty hands, you unlocked your phone again, and decided to give him an answer sure... let's do it. I'm starving

great. which hotel are you staying at? Conrad Dublin

gotcha. I'll be there in half an hour

`Half an hour? shit. I need to get ready.

You got out of your freshly put on pijamas, and rummaged through your luggage for some decent clothing. You opted for another oversized t-shirt, with a Jurassic Park logo on it, and your trusted shorts, who fit on your bum perfectly. Messing with your hair a bit, you ruffled it, and then you decided you`d just tie it in a bun. You grabbed your trusted perfume, and sprayed it once on each side of your neck.

You grabbed your fanny pack, strapping it over one shoulder and put your phone inside it, grabbing also some cash and your keycard.

The moment you stepped into the elevator, you felt your heart once again start galloping inside you. How could this happen, and on the first day?

Once you stepped into the lobby, you were aiming for the exit, until you saw a familiar guy sitting on one of the couches, on his phone. You studied him a bit. He looked so effortlessly beautiful. He was wearing a black hoodie, along with some jeans, paired with sneakers. He had his hair in a manbun, but that only made him look even hotter.

He was scrolling on his phone, with his back rested on the couch, one arm on it, and legs spread out in front of the coffee table.

It didnt take him too long after youve reached the lobby to take notice of you. When he finally did, he quickly put his phone back in his back pocket and stood up, taking long and fast strides to reach you.

'' Hey.'' He approached you and pulled you in a hug, kissing you on your temple once he let go of you.

'' Hello…'' You said timidly, not knowing what to say next.

Alex seemed to be such an expert in keeping up a conversation going, that he never allowed any sort of awkward silence fill the air. He grabbed your forearm, pulling you softly towards the exit. '' So.. What are you in the mood for?'' He broke the peaceful silence once you stepped outside. '' Mmm… Honestly? I dont know. I dont want anything fancy, but not junky either. Maybe pasta?'' You laughed awkwardly. He smiled and giggled.

'' Then pasta it is.'' He led the way, and started asking about your personal life back at home the whole way to the restaurant.

Once you`ve reached it, you read the name Sano Pizza. Looks good from the outside.

'' It`s one of my favorite restaurants. They have some amazing Pizza. And the spaghetti should also be up at the same level.'' He praised the place. You smiled and followed him inside.

He led you between many tables, and then finally in a more private and calm section, he found an empty booth for the two of you. When you finally sat down, you noticed the QR code being placed on both corners of the table, making you scoff.

Alex looked at you curiously. '' What`s the matter?''

'' This. I cant scan the fucking menu. And its so frustrating to me cuz then I have to search it up on the internet, and it takes so long. Like, give me the goddamn paper menu and we`ll be good.'' You complained, sighing in annoyance.

Alex seemed to not take your attitude too seriously, as he chuckled at you and pulled his phone out, scanning the code in less than a second and handing you his phone.

'' Here. Take a look and then let me know what youd like to eat.'' You flushed at his actions.Yeah, it was a small gesture, almost insignificant. But still, it made my heart flutter.` You went over the menu on his phone, and when you were finally ready with your order, you handed his phone back. He took it gently, cupping your hand slightly when you passed it to him.

''Alright.. What will it be then?'' '' Penne Quattro Formaggi. Aaand a lemonade.'' You nodded to yourself, thinking that`ll be good enough.

'' No dessert?'' He asked nicely. '' Nah. Im good. I probably wont even finis the pasta.'' You laughed. '' Why?'' He joined in your laugh.

You shrugged. '' I always eat half of it, then I get full and I have to sit and let my stomach digest the food. I don`t know why. The food is too dense.'' ''Dense?'' He asked, amused. ''Yeah…dense.''

He chuckled and when he saw a waiter, he waved for him to go over there. He ordered the food, and then he turned back to you, propping his chin on the palm of his hand, admiring you.

'' Uhh.. '' You chuckled nervously. '' So…'' '' What do you think? You liked your first day?'' '' Well.. It was.. Intense. A lot of new info at once, but Ill get used to it. That is..if.. Ill stay..'' You trailed off, almost with a hint of sadness, thinking of the possibility of not staying permanently.

Alex placed his warm hand over yours, rubbing your kunckles with his thumb, reassuringly. '' Youll stay. Ive seen you work. You did a great job.'' You waved a dismissive hand at him. '' No Im serious! Hey. Ive seen others work. And so far, no one has been as skilled with their hands as you.''

'' Oh… I dont know. Well see.'' ''- And even they happen to Not choose you, which, theyd have to be nuts not to, Ill talk to them personally. I`ll go straight to Michael and ask him personally we are buddies, me and him, and-''

You shook your head and giggled at him. '' Its okay. If I dont get the job, then maybe they choose someone else for a reason. Maybe Im not made for this environment. And thats okay. I`ll accept it.'' You interrupted him, assuring him you were willing to take a blow, if needed be.

Time seemed to pass so fast with him. He made you feel so at ease. He had this natural charisma about him. You were laughing the whole time, not being able to stop, he was that funny. At one point, the food showed up, and you both calmed down and dove right in.

The young actor definitely knew where to take you. The food was exquisite. You enjoyed every little bite, savoring the flavors, and filling your stomach with enough food to keep you running till the following day at lunch.

Another hour had passed, and it was already 8 pm. It was already pretty dark outisde, and you wanted to walk a bit. You kept glancing out the window, noticing faint silhouettes and buildings in the distance.

Alex followed your gaze, then turned back to you. '' What is it?'' He asked concerned.

'' Oh nothing. I just really wanted to take a stroll, to walk some dark alleys and enjoy the Dublin vibes at night.'' You admitted dreamily.

'' Well, let`s do it.'' Alex said, standing up. '' Wait a second ok?'' He grabbed his phone and went up front, talking to the waiter who served you. When he came back, he helped you up, and then locked arms with you, putting his in his pocket.

'' Wait. We have to pay first.'' You pulled him back. He shook his head, smiling.

'' Already did. We can go.'' He continued pulling you towards the exit, while you were frowning, looking back and forth between Alex and the waiter, that was at his computer thingy.

''But-when?'' You were now outside, and you couldn`t help but let the chilly weather embrace your body.

'' When I left the table. I payed on my phone.'' He explained simply.

'' Ok. How much was my part?'' You said while you were zipping your fanny pack in search for cash, but Alex took your hand away, zipping your fanny pack back up, and shaking his head.

'' It`s on me.'' '' No!'' ''Yes. It was my idea to invite you. Where did you say you wanted to go?'' He changed the subject fast when he noticed you were trying to pay him back.

You huffed, and pointed a finger down a darker alley, which seemingly looked to be empty. He nodded his head at the alley, as if asking for a confirmation that was the one you pointed at, and when you nodded, he pulled his arm that was locked with yours out, and instead draping it over your shoulders, pulling you as close to him as posssible.

You guys started walking in a comfortable silence, the only sounds available coming from behind you from the main street, from which faint voices could be heard.

'' So… Why did you want to walk this way? Was there something in particular you wanted to see?'' He asked chuckling, squeezing your shoulder.

'' No… I just…enjoy walking down dark and empty streets. It`s so… I don't know. Peaceful I guess.'' You answered, while looking around you and taking notice of the buildings.

'' You do this often?'' He furrowed his brows. '' You walk at night, alone?''

'' Well… Yeah I do that a lot back home. Sometimes I even go out to listen to some music, or glance at the sky and observe constellations.''

'' Look, I know you are an adult and you decide what you want to do, but maybe you shouldn`t do that here.'' He stated, with a low and serious tone.

'' And why is that?'' You questioned, quizically.

'' Well because…'' He licked his lips in a stressful manner. '' I dont know what its like back there in you country, but here in Dublin, the streets get dangerous at night. That is why we always go out together clubbing or something. But none of us go out alone. It`s not… The safest.'' He took a breath of air. ''Especially not for someone like..you.'' He said lowly afraid you might misunderstand his words.

You choked out a laugh, and turned your head to the side to look at him. '' Someone like… Me? What do you even mean by that?'' You laughed, and locked eyes with him, challengingly.

'' Well… Haha.. Dont take it as an insult. I meant a girl like you. You are pretty, lets not be modest. Any guy would glance at you when you would be walking anywhere, but at night, there are people out there who might not have the best intentions and would try to harm you.'' Alex gave you a worried, showing complete honesty.

You didn`t even respond, but simply blushed and shook your head. But just then, ahead of you, you both noticed a small group of people coming in your direction. You could only see their shadowy silhouettes, but that was enough for Alex to move you both to one side of the street, opposite of the group, ensuring he was standing between you and them.

Tho it was a small gesture, you flushed, thinking how much of a nice and genuine guy he was. He paid for your dinner, he was being so kind and funny, you honestly didnt know if he wasnt faking this all just to sleep with you.

You kept walking, turning random streets, until it was pretty late at night, and you both agreed to head back, since the next morning was starting very early for you. He insisted on walking you back to the hotel, tho you reassured him youd be fine by yourself. He didnt give you time to argue, pulling you towards the hotel.

So now when you were finally in your hotel room, having taken your second shower of the day, you got in bed, ready to sleep. Right before you were about to close your eyes, your phone screen`s illuminated, letting you know you had a notification. Sleepily, you opened your phone and saw a message from Alex sent on instagram.

I had lots of fun. hope you did too good night see you tomorrow :))

You didn`t even open the app, but just smiled at the message and went to sleep, with a grin on your face.

The following day, same way, you got ready, met the girls down at the lobby and then you all left for the set. You stepped into the trailer, in a much more confident way than yesterday. You chirped a morning to Shaila and Peter, and then you got to setting up your tools. Shaila greeted you also, explaining that today was more serious, and that she will work on Alexs hair, and youll help her out, so you could see exactly what you`ll have to do in the future.

Not long after your arrival, the three Ragnarssons stepped into the trailer, first Jordan and then Marco and lastly Alex. The first two greeted you, while heading towards their seats, but when Alex stepped into the trailer, he immediately locked eyes with you, giving you a charming smile. He came to you and hugged you, kissing your right cheek when he pulled away.

You stood there motionless, trying to hide your blush. Alex grinned at you, and then snapped something at Marco in Danish when he kept teasing him.

Peter got to work on Jordan, and in the meantime, Shaila and yourself got to work on Alex. The middle aged woman explained as she went along, how she was envisioning his hair, showed you what products and in which order to use, and overall, you felt like you were back in beauty school, when all you had to do was sit next to the teacher and watch her work on the mannequin.

Only in this case, you actually got to help, holding hair sections, handing Shaila tools or products and such. It was a very nice experience. You felt really important, knowing you were helping in building a character`s visual side.

Alex was being his funny, extroverted self. He was joking around with Shaila and you as well, occasionally him softly grabbing your arm and rubbing it at certain times. One hour and a half later, you were done with him. He had intricate twists on his head, giving him a true Viking air. They looked really hot on him.

He got out of the chair, admired his hair closely in the mirror and then thanked you both.

'' Ah you women are amazing. My hair looks fabulous.'' He complimented, joking towards the end with a girly voice and posing funnily. You laughed at his antics.

Alex had to leave for the makeup and costume trailer, so with a respectful ( but exaggerated bow) he kissed you on the cheek once more, leaving you with the other guys who looked at you funny and started teasing you as well.

The day went by slightly faster, since you had so much more work to do. You were entrusted with doing hair for some extras, which was nice. You got compliments here and there, filling you with confidence.

The end of the day was approaching, and you couldn`t wait to get back to the hotel, so you could sit down and relax.

You were heading towards the parking lot, but felt someone running behind you. You felt strong hands encircling your waist, lifting you from the ground slightly. You yelled in surprise, but calmed down when you saw it was Alex, laughing acutely at you.

''What are you doing?'' He asked casually, falling into a walking rhythm with you.

'' Going home. You?''

'' Oh. Well same. Hey, you didn`t answer my message yesterday. Why is that huh?'' He interrogated you, poking your sides, causing you to squirm from how ticklish you were.

'' Oh-Al-St-o-p. I uhm.'' You struggled to say, since he kept poking and tickling you. '' Well. I was very tired. But I did read it. I just didn`t have the energy to text back. Sorry.'' You responded apologetically.

'' `S okay. Just wanted to make sure you were fine. Anyway, wanna go out tonight as well? Or you could come over to my place. I can tell Marco to leave the place so we can-''

'' Alex, what exactly are your intention?'' You interrupted him, getting straight to the point. '' I dont know what youre trying to do, but Ill tell you what I wont do, and that is having a fling. Or sleeping around.''

Alex frowned, confusion all over his face. '' Wait… WHAT?! N-.'' He sighed, frustrated. '' THat`s what you think I was trying to do?'' He chuckled bitterly. '' Wow… Thanks for thinking so low of me.'' He snapped, taking bigger and faster steps in front of you, getting ahead of you.

Realizing what you`ve done, with widened eyes you jogged towards him, grabbing his arm to stop him in his tracks. He turned around, with his jaw clenched and hurt yet angry eyes.

'' Im sorry. I didnt know what to think of it. You were so nice and amazing, it truly felt surreal, as if it was all an act.'' You explained, getting emotional. '' I`ve had… bad experiences with guys acting all nice and cute and then being complete dicks once they got what they wanted. And I was only trying to avoid getting hurt.'' Your eyes were getting watery from all the explaining, and at that, Alex softened his gaze.

'' I didn`t want to assume anything. But to me it seemed impossible that a guy like YOU, would ever be interested in someone like me. And I am terribly sorry for insulting you. '' You said sincerely, letting a tear drop fall onto your cheek.

Alex let his forehead rest on yours, getting really close to you. Raising both his palms, he cupped your face, using his thumb to wipe the cheek off your face. Kissing your forehead, he then nuzzle his nose against yours, as if silently asking you to stop apoligizing.

'' Youve got nothing to apologize for. Its not your fault you were surrounded by idiots. But please, just give me a chance.'' He begged.

You nodded slowly, announcing you wanted to forget the previous embarrassing moment.

Alex pulled slightly away, to be able to look at you, smirking. '' Did the other jerks give you such a loving and sweet kiss?''

Frowning, you looked at him with a tilted head. '' What kis-'' You were interrupted by his soft lips shutting you up. You closed your eyes, enjoying the moment. He left his lips lingering on yours for a few more seconds, but not daring to try to take it any further.

When he felt like it was enough, he pulled away, leaving you both out of breath. You smiled, looking at him and giggling. He joined in on your giggling, pulling you in a comforting side hug. You stayed hugging each other`s sides a few more minutes, until you saw the girls approaching, and other people coming into the parking lot. You pulled away, with difficulty, since Alex was trying to hold you there.

Finally freeing yourself, you waved at him goodbye, giving him a grin.

The next days went better and better. Each passing hour, it felt as if you were learning and constantly perfecting your skills, giving you more confidence. You were eventually allowed to do half of Alexs hair, Shaila still insisting shed have to go over your parts as well to perfect them.( perfectionist much).

Alex and you were being close every morning, him giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but not taking it further in front of the others.

Time flew by so fast, that you stepped into Friday and realized, today you were going to find out who was going to stick around. Shaila texted you 5 to come a bit earlier in her trailer, where she was going to announce the winner.

'' Right. So, I want to preface by saying you are all talented. That is why you got here in the first place, which was already a big step. With that being said-'' She grabbed some papers, looking through them.

'' I want to thank you girls for having you here. You helped us a lot, as much as you also learned a bit of how the magic happens in these chairs.'' She used her free hand to slap the back of one of the chairs.

'' Alright. This was tough. But the final answer is…''

''Yn. Congratulations.'' She said in a neutral tone, clearly trying to hide her excitement.

You squealed in happiness, hugging Shaila and then each girl in return. You could tell they were looking at you bitterly, but you couldn`t do anything about that.

'' No hard feelings?'' You asked them.

They smiled sadly, hugging you one last time, before they were all escorted out. You barely had any time to let this new information sink in, when the young actors were already making their way inside. You locked eyes with Alex, grinning from ear to ear, nodding your head, silently telling him that you won.

He immediately understood your message, sprinting towards you and picking you up, spinning you softly. He laughed in happiness, and then with a newfound boldness, he attacked your lips. You gasped, taken completely by surprise, but nonetheless enjoying it.

The guys whistled, and when Alex pulled away, Marco patted him aggressively on the back, as a congratulation.

Shaila fully entrusted you this day to work on Alex alone, and when the three actors left the trailer, Alex rushing to plant another kiss on your lips, the woman pulled some brand new black t-shirts out of a cabinet, with the History Channel logo on them, handing you the clothes.

'' Welcome to the Vikings team, dear. We will need you around here.'' She greeted you officially, hugging you.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - KISSES galore

Jan 20232 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) 6 of 10 - The mutual squealing and kicking and rolling over in bed was v cute. Tiw might actually be the greatest BL wingman of all time, yes better than Namgoong. Friend zone? Cute GMMTV, very cute. Elevator kiss, on the other hand = you little shits. Also, I’m mad you made me watch the MV because there was no way to skip through it without missing stuff. Tricky bastards. GMMTV = cute, shitty, & tricky all in one ep. Guess that’s why they’re the top of the Thai BL food chain. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) 5 of 12 - We knew that this pair kisses really well, but for the characters that was a pretty stellar first kiss. I liked that we got to see Palm really want something for a change. Up until now, he’s been a pretty passive character, constantly told what to do by others, this is the first independent choice his character actually makes in this narrative. Meanwhile the action part of the bodyguard plot has begun, which makes me happy. Let the forced proximity cohabitation trope commence! With probably at least one running through the woods holding hands to come.

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 9 of 12 - Basically a filler ep with in-your-face backstory we already sussed. Prem is doing a good job tho. WATCH ALONG HERE.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 8 of 11 - There was no GamesVee. I’m sad. 

Cutie Pie 2 You (special) 2 of 4 - Awwwww, how sweet they tried to give it a plot. Operative word being: tried. 

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 9 of 12 - Stuff in tents. Lots of cringing blushing maiden bullshit. Noey = v bold and into public claiming. I’m not wild about this one. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 14fin - Honestly, they were branded pairs so we knew ManTitle were goona kiss, but I kinda wish they hadn’t bothered. These characters just didn’t work for me as a couple. Marriage equality stinger* on this puppy. Still, what a slog. I’m only binging stuff from this studio henceforth. (Next one: Buddy Line Y Animal). Whatever. Frankly that’s my review of the show: whatever. 5/10 

* I do like that this drama teased a marriage and then intentionally never gave us that marriage on screen. For all romance genre fans, this would've felt like a slap in the face. Instead they put in a stinger that essentially said “if you want a marriage scene between men, legalize marriage in Thailand, you fuckers.” And ya know, I’m here for that. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) 4 of 8 - Ooo first date. Omg they are SO CUTE. There was a lot of squealing and flapping of hands on this side of the screen with the show. Also two out gay boys! Korea how far you have come in just a few short years! If adorable our baby boy’s 2 fag hags don’t get together by the end of this show, I will be a touch disappointed. (It has to be said. I’m not expecting it because this is still Korea doesn’t do sides in BL. But hope springs eternal.) Meanwhile, I like that there was actual desire expressed with these two. This is definitely one of the gayest BLs to have come out of Korea in recent years. If you’re confused like I was, that pen has the initial of baby’s ex crush from uni on it. 

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) 3 of 10 (or 6 of 20) - Classic that Taiwan has finally given us a femme character in a BL and he is predatory & evil. The secondary couple is the most adorable thing, I even forgive them a pratfall kiss, because there was a 3 piece suit involved. I am starting to like the main couple a little bit more, mostly because of the rich kid character. I love domesticity, and Taiwan always does it so well. The main character time traveler whatever remains a bit annoying, I prefer a sunshine archetype that is not intentionally naïve to the point of stupidity. Still, I’m invested. This is classic HIStory franchise. 

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) 4 of 8 - It’s a bit too much second hand embarrassment and cringe for me. I hope Japan someday gives us a BL like Eternal Yesterday, where both characters are cool and no one dies. Incidentally, if you’re playing a game of spot that BL actor, the one playing the “actor character” is Izuka Kenta  (from The Novelist and Absolute BL2). WE LOVE HIM. 

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Korea Weds iQIYI) 9-10fin - I honestly don’t know how I feel about this one. It was more of a red thread fated mates who are fated to repeat the mistakes of the past. Shall we call it faded mates?  And I’m not sure, even though the ending is somewhat optimistic, that I am actually optimistic about it or them as a couple. So I wouldn’t call it HEA. 

Final review? Featuring a gorgeous & stellar cast, TDWBMD should have utilized them less for melodrama and more for chemistry. This BL is a unique twist on an office romance if NOT a unique twist on a doomed red thread trope, resulting in it feeling less than the sum of its parts and ultimately unsatisfying. Possibly this had to do with the fact that this was one of those KBLs where I felt how short it was the whole time, like I was missing something constantly, in every episode. No HEA. Worth watching for some but seriously flawed. 6/10

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid)

GMMTV’s Midnight series - first segment has begun bit it’s not the EarthMix messy gays. I’m so not interested in messy hets, so I’m waiting until they grace my screen. Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 1 of 8 eventually.  

Gossip

I’m gonna hold off on The Warp Effect and binge it later, after I know for sure if the BL couple makes it. 

I will be taking everyone‘s advice and not watching Till the World Ends sorry not sorry. Protecting my squishy center (also I HATE xmas carols.) 

In Case You Missed It

I posted a meta of all my 2022 wraps, top picks, industry stats, etc..

I ALSO posted the 2023 forthcoming BL master post.

Coffee Shop shorts series with the adorable couple from Ghost Host, Ghost House have a WONDERFUL new installment with "BLACK COCONUT". You should watch it. Also... try the drink. 

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) starring Bah Vinh ended its run and IT’S SAD. I am so glad I waiting because now I’m not gonna watch it. So there. 

Adorable KGL Girlfriend Project, basically a very short lesbian version of Love Class. It’s cute. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Jan 19: Individual Circumstances (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - A reunion romance between a movie director who was once promising and a writer who disappeared due to past wounds. Stars JunQ (main rapper of 2nd gen group MYNAME) and Han Jung Wan (Mr International Korea winner).

2023 forthcoming BL here

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The LOOK in his eyes. I really hope we get more than crumbs from Satang Kittiphop in the future. 

Also, that outfit, definitely an instrument of hope. (Mark is going to be in Moonlight Chicken, Cooking Crush, Last Twilight, & Only Friends this year. Apparently GMMTV’s directors like him a lot. So ALL the hope. Plus more sweater vests without shirts, please and thank you.) 

Relatable. 

FINALLY! (all are My School President, it was a GREAT ep this week) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Well Monsta X released a new single, Beautiful Liar, so yeah, THAT! 

[sukunasweetheart]

Sugarbaby Sukuna, but he's older than you. Bruh Poe I'm LOSING MY MIND. (Sorry it's Nat again.)

AYO YESS hello nat >:)

in the one im working on right now, sukunas the younger one but older sukuna as a sugarbaby??? MY GOD idk why it sounds so appealing

a woman on top of her game, you, endlessly rich and beautiful, but you're lonely behind the scenes... so you pay this big hunk of a guy to blow your back out and give you kisses

yall know the psychology behind bdsm play? people who lack control over their everyday lives tend to seek it during sex and vice versa for the people who have that control in their daily life (not saying this applies to everybody tho)

imagine mid 30s sukuna working an ordinary 9-5 while you rule a whole company in your mid 20s. however in bed, he has you on the palm of his hand - needy for his fat cock,,, it gets even better if in his office, he's known as a quiet, more withdrawn unmarried man but does a 180 during sex haha

warnings; female reader, lots of degradation, unprotected sex, breeding, throat squeezing

"yeah, you like that? needy whore."

the words come out so easily now, despite the difficulty he had at first - addressing you like that. sukuna's cock plunges into your pussy, that's oozing with slick. with each thrust, an obscene squelching noise emits, pushing you into humiliation.

your moans take over soon enough, as he grabs your breast with a strong grip, pinching it without mercy.

"not gonna answer me? that's not nice, princess," he growls, reaching for your throat next. you gasp, holding onto his arm as he wraps his palm around your neck - aroused by his animosity.

"ye-yes sir... i love it," you respond accordingly, basking yourself in the pleasure he brings as his cockhead rams against your cervix the way you like it. the way you clamp around him has him gritting his teeth, getting him hanging on by a thread in withholding his orgasm.

"fu-fuck...quit clenching so much," sukuna tells you with a groan, dick pulsing inside of your tight hole. "can't help it... feels too good," you mumble breathily. he grips your throat tighter.

"what a slutty woman. with her slutty cunt," sukuna mutters in a haughty way. "i wonder what your employees would think of you, if they saw you like this - drunk on my cock."

he smirks at the thought of it and begins to pound you faster.

letting out a whine, your eyes roll back with your mouth agape. sukuna gathers his focus into making you orgasm, keeping at this pace until he witnesses your thighs shake, back arching against the mattress.

"a slut like you... is only good as a cumdump," sukuna continues his degrading, right as his dick reaches its limit.

his thick seed shoots into your baby bank, as sukuna shoves himself balls deep into your wet pussy, and your legs hug his waist, keeping him in place. sukuna pants, hips quivering as you suck him absolutely dry.

"oh, yes, yes, yes...! kiss me please, sir," you plead, looking up at him tearfully. he comes down and captures your lips, and then your tongue, as he continues to fill you up with his cum.

by the time he pulls out, his cock has softened significantly and sukuna finally plops down onto the bed in exhaustion.

"shit, my back hurts...i'm getting too old for this," he sighs. "that's rather concerning to hear," you tell him, with a frown.

you go quiet as you grab your phone from the bed stand, numerous minutes spent scrolling on it.

"...what are you doing?" sukuna questions, after a while.

"booking a full course massage for you. i can't leave my favourite sugarbaby with chronic back pain," you respond, without looking at him.

a full course massage huh... sounds pretty darn good, not gonna lie.

you come down and kiss him again, telling him he did a wonderful job today. strange how quick the roles reverse once the sex is done, you know? at this rate, the two of you will fall for each other... for real.

tagging @luvkun4

[halfetirosie]

☠😱🔪 It's all Fun and Games until somebody commits manslaughter!!! 🔪😱☠

(Exercise 17 - 20 React-os!)

1) Wait, he actually heard the story from somewhere???

I assumed he just made it up himself!

2) HOLY SHIT BRO, THIS IS ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY SCARY!!! 😨😨😨

Not gonna lie; I know it's fake, but this still freaks me out.

It hits me in a psychological sort of way, because we've seen Blade get hurt before; so seeing him badly hurt both feels too-close-for-comfort, and builds on the familiar fear of loved ones getting hurt.

PLUS, seeing Blade acting weird reminds me of when his programming was externally tampered with in ArmyxBloodxOath, so I'm getting a wee bit of war flashbacks...

3) ....I say all that, but then my boi goes and ruins my immersion!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

There's nothing like saying "Lord Jackass" to completely ruin the spooky atmosphere!

4) YOOOOO WTF?!?!?! (⊙ᗣ⊙) 

DAMN, THEY'RE EVEN ADDING SOME BODY HORROR TO THIS SHIT??? TALK ABOUT DEDICATION!!!

Blade deserves a lil' treat after this for giving the performance of a lifetime!!!

(Come to think of it, Blade is actually a really good actor, isn't he? 🤔 I mean, when he's actually giving it his all. Like during Idol Fest when he acted as a "prince" character, he did a good-ass job; and he's doing a good-ass job now, too!!!------Damn, now I really want to see an event where Blade performs in a play or something!!!!!)

5) Ah yes, a masked psycho---the perfect role for Rei!!! :D

Dude, you just know Rei's having a little too much fun pretending to be a serial killer!

"The guy with the bird"??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not my mans never remembering people's names.... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ (Shoutout to that moment in Festive Glimmer when he also didn't remember Quincy's name!)

Nah but, shouldn't Dante know Rei's now by now? Rei's hovered around him and teased him on more than one occasion...

6) Hell yeah, Eerie Escapade reference!!!!

I LOVE when the characters reference past events!!!

It just makes the stories feel more substantial, ya know? Like they carry more weight. (I wonder how Vlad is doing? I want an update on him!)

Ohhhhh, I see! So it's not so much the ghost that scares him---after all, he dealt with Vlad just fine---but the scary story that got to him. That makes more sense.

7) HOLY SHIT, KARU ALMOST KILLED MY WIFE!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱

IMAGINE IF HIS CLAWS WENT IN JUST A LITTLE FURTHER!!!

HE COULD'VE SLASHED EDMOND'S FUCKING THROAT!!!!!

JHBHQBR#$*#$FO!IJVNKJNW@##@!!!

!!!!!!!

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*static*

Fuck, dude.....

....On a lighter note, it's very entertaining to think about Edmond running around with a sheet on his head, taking his silly task as seriously as ever! :D

8) Damnnnnn, Olivine! Back at it again with the smart-ass ideas!!!

Olivine is seriously CRUSHING it this event!

9) Wait, did Eiden actually understand what Topper was saying here, or was he just assuming?

Because, like, it is canon that Eiden ocassionally understands what Topper says, and he might slowly be learning his language, you know?

I just bring this up because I really, really hope Eiden did understand Topper, because I desperately want Eiden to eventually be able to have full conversations with the lil' homie!!!

10) The heroic return of

🐍 YAKUMO-JUMPSCARE!!! 🐍

BRUH, this is the second time one of the clan members almost fucking DIED because of their prank!!!

That is pretty true-to-life, tho. Like, it's not uncommon for irl-pranks to go very wrong because the fight-or-flight response of the prank-ee happened to be "fight." Like when they jump out to scare someone and end up getting reflex-punched.

11) Classic Introvert Dad Quincy, with absolutely no fucking clue how to handle a Distressed Yakumo---

---Although, in fairness, I feel like many of the clan members wouldn't know how exactly to handle Distressed Yakumo, either.

Hell, I probably wouldn't know what to do!!! Like, look at this sobbing string-bean of a boy!!! He's inconsolable even in the best of times!!!

(ᵕ—ᴗ—)

12) An accurate description, tbh;

Foxy Grandpa over here has been slacking off since the Grill Competition, and now he makes Yakumo do all the heat-lifting!!!

Rude. 😡

13) "The emotional range of a log"

PFFFT!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I CAN'T---!!!!

DUDE. Rei's insults are always immaculate, I swearrrr!!!!

He would be SO GOOD at making diss-tracks!!!

14) 🚨🚨🚨 SOFT KARU!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

Karu's so on-guard and fierce all the time, so seeing him act so affectionate (in the beloved Tsundere Bullshit™ flavor, or course) is such a treat!!!

Just look at that face!!! I wanna squish his cheeks!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

👻 End of report! 👻