#this is so fucking worrying like!!!!! this is a fandom for a kids' show FUCKING STOP

[mystycalypso]

I'm gonna go on a mini rant here.

TW: p3d0ph1lia, and child s/@

God, I shouldn't have to put a TW like that on a blog where I post Hello Neighbor content with my bff, but I need to just- let off steam about this because it's something that seems to happen every time there's a franchise centering around kids facing a big bad adult where- people assume that said big bad s3xually @ buses one or more of the minor characters.

A main big example of this is obviously FNAF, with the P3d0philia William Afton being popularized by PinkiePills with her comics to the point where a large chunk of the fandom believes that it's canonical. Despite that not being the case.

The example that has pushed me over the edge to talk about this today is Theodore Peterson. I have been worried since Episode 6s release that people were going to claim that Peterson S/@ ed Nicky. And today, low and behold I see a post (not gonna name drop them for obvious reasons) saying

"At this point it's obvious what Mr. Peterson did to Nicky" with the teaser image tinybuild recently posted

Now, at first my autistic ass said, "...What?" And I couldn't figure out for the life of me what they were referring to because I mean, we don't even know when this shot is from

Then I open the comments and see people talking about whether or not it was infact s/@ . I know I said I was expecting and dreading this, but it still shocked and bewildered me because- there's genuinely nothing in the show that actually makes it seem like this.

Thankfully, a lot of the comments were openly disagreeing with this idea and sentiment. But- I need to discuss why it's a problem to me, ESPECIALLY with this franchise, which I've already explained is very near and dear to me.

But good FUCKING GOD, especially with WTRB

THIS IS A KIDS SHOW

Is WTRB able to go much darker than most kids' shows because it isn't run on tv or owned by a network? Absolutely. But would TB go that far? FUCK NO.

I've seen this person using moments from the show like this

To call Mr. Peterson, a p3d0phil3, and I need to clearly explain the purpose of this image. It is to show the power he has built in his lies. Trinity witnessed Mr. Peterson kidnap Nicky before her own eyes, but he has built up such a persona as this pathetic old man in the town that even when she can see behind his lies and see his actively horrific behavior, no one else can.

We see this same back and forth in all their interactions in episode 5. From the moment he offers cookies based on Nicky's goggles to the framing of him looming while her parents work the printer. He believes he has won and can flaunt it because there is no one in Ravenbrooks who believes these kids. No one even notices or is suspicious of Nicky going missing in the first place.

And if Trinity was also an adult or even if Mr. Peterson was say- a woman this wouldn't be coming up or a theory/hc. It is only because Theodore is an older male antagonist.

Now, why is this a problem? Why do these hcs and theories urk me so much every time I see them?

It adds nothing. All they do is make the story "edgier" and "darker" in a way that's so- flat and dimensionless. There's nothing gained by saying "oh Nicky was s/@ ed" if anything you have taken so much from the actual story of Hello Neighbor and the themes of feeling helpless to the horrors you see going on around you. You're not taken seriously as a kid, especially after doing something others see as a slip up like Trinity or by not being the model student type like Nicky. You're young and can see through the lies of others easier but no one believes you.

Not only that, but the supernatural theming of Hello Neighbor is lost because of this. The Guest, The Thing, the Cult, everything is lost or disregarded all to make the series dark on a very surface level.

I'm tired of actual themeing and good writing getting thrown to the wayside for hcs that do nothing for victim representation and do nothing to add to the story and I say this with utter genuineness

If you believe in these p3d0 hcs and theories, do not interact with our work.

Kaydin and I are both VIOLENTLY disgusted by the things we saw written by that poster and by the comments agreeing with their sentiment and we don't want to be associated with the parts of the fandom that twist the series that way.

Thanks for reading.

[fullhalalalchemist]

URGENT: Congress about to pass a mass censorship and surveillance bill under the guise of "protecting children"

May 13 2023

The Senate has been in a "do something!" mode regarding children's online safety. They're using this as an excuse to push for widespread internet censorship and surveillance. The EARN IT Act, has a slimmer chance of passing with widespread opposition and some senators saying they won't vote for it. TLDR;The real threat is actually KOSA (s.1409), the Kid's Online Safety Act, which will mass censor and surveill the entire internet by giving all 50 state attorney generals the power to remove content that is "harmful" for kids, and force you to upload your govt ID online to access the internet. I'll explain how it works below the action items but it's absolutely urgent that anyone who likes having a free and open internet fights back. It's all hands on deck, because this has so much public support it's insane:

HOW TO FIGHT KOSA

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES & THE COMMERCE COMMITTEE

This is a link to the Senate Commerce Committee phone numbers and a call script to read off of. (202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline

Opposition is getting drowned, and these upcoming weeks will be heavy for lobbying and they're using young people to do it. We NEED to show these senators that young people are actually opposed to this and don't want it.

2. Sign these petitions

Open Letter Against KOSA

Petition 1

Petition 2

Petition 3

Petition 4

Resistbot: Text PHJDYH to 50409

3. Spread the word.

The opposition is getting absolutely drowned online. Dove has nearly 100k signatures to push for KOSA. Influencers on tiktok are pushing for this without ever having read the bill. Fucking Lizzo is sponsoring it. If you have twitter, reddit, tiktok, are in any community, SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE.

Here is a linktree with all the above petitions for easy shargin: Link to linktree

HOW KOSA WORKS

First, KOSA pressures platforms to install filters that would wipe the net of anything deemed “inappropriate” for minors. This means instructing platforms to censor. We saw how these filters impacted websites firsthand with tumblr in 2018, with not only blocking all adult content but also sfw queer content such as suicide hotlines, art archives, wiping out entire blogs because they had queer fandom related posts, etc. Places that already use content filters have restricted important information about suicide prevention and LGBTQ+ support groups. KOSA would spread this kind of censorship to every corner of the internet. And who gets to decide what is and isn't harmful for minors? Oh don't worry, just every single state attorney general and the FTC, which is appointed by the president. You know, the same attorney generals that just banned gender-affirming healthcare under the guise that it "ruins mental health" of minors. This is why the Heritage Foundation was one of the first to sponsor the bill because they can use it to censor trans content, and Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee is it's co-author.

Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by forcing websites to use age verification and parental monitoring tools. Yup, that's right. Now every single person who wants to access the internet has to upload their govt ID online to third party apps that get hacked all the time. You queer in a red state? You undocumented? You an activist? Have fun getting all your online activity and metadata attached to your govt ID.  

Over 90+ human and LGBT rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the 2023 version won’t and can’t address the big problems with the bill. This bill has MASSIVE bipartisan support, and the authors Blumenthal and Blackburn (yes, that Blumenthal that's pushing the EARN IT Act, and who also sponsored the RESTRICT Act and SOPA/PIPA if you remember) are using the tragedy of mothers who lost their kids to online harassment and young adults who've been traumatized online to lobby for it, and got Dove the company to use a bunch of influencers to push for this under the guise it prevents eating disorders...I wish I was lying. There are already 30 co-sponsors.

It is all hands on deck. I'm dead serious when I say if this bill is passed it is the beginning if not end of the open and free internet.

[lxkeee]

⋆.˚ . FLY ME TO THE MOON ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚.

—PART FOUR

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Archangel Raphael! Fem! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Notes: finally, a divorced man meets a divorced woman.

PART ONE | PART THREE | PART FIVE | MISC.

Nothing too interesting happened for the last couple of months, work on earth, do paperwork in heaven, repeat.

Scratch that, something did happen.

[Y/n] looked at her hand, seeing the gold band that was usually on her ring finger was now placed on her middle finger. A symbol of individuality and responsibility. She and Azrael finally got divorced—for shits and giggles. Just kidding. Azrael found love that's why and he and [y/n] it was time to end this marriage of theirs and remain friends. Azrael is now dating this cute principality angel named Francis. She supports them. She even set them up lmao.

They still continue doing their usual routine of spending their free time in each other's places (more on spending time at her home) and gossip.

She has to find her own love someday. [Y/n] sighs softly. Eyes staring outside her office window.

Today is the extermination day. She hopes Adam fucks up during it.

It was rather boring for the rest of the day. She was just flying around heaven and seeing if the order was maintained. [Y/n]'s eyes widened when she saw Emily showing someone around heaven. Someone familiar.

That's right! She saw this snake man during the meeting when Charlie was showing about Angel's progress.

He looks different though.

Her eyes widened, realization dawning upon her.

He got redeemed.

Blinking her eyes, eyes sparkling in excitement.

She calms herself down first, she needs to confirm it.

Flying next to Emily, the girl slightly jumps in surprise to see [y/n]. Despite the woman being one of god's seven virtues, Emily sees her as an older sister figure.

“Hi [y/n]! Nice to see you here, it has been awhile since I've last seen you!” Emily says excitedly, eyes sparkling and wings flapping from excitement from seeing the older woman. The man beside her just looked in confusion.

“Hello Emi, dear. I just so happen to have some free time so I was just flying around. Is this a new soul you're showing around?” [y/n] asked, smiling softly at the girl and the girl squealed.

“Yes! Actually, this man right here. Was a sinner and got redeemed! Isn't that amazing!” Emily says and [y/n]'s eyes widened and smiled, smirking a bit before returning it to a genuine smile. The confused snake just staring back and forth between the two girls.

“Really? Now, isn't that surprising. This... This changes everything.” [y/n] says with a whisper before turning to look at the redeemed soul.

“Tell me, mister. What is your name? As one of the seven virtues, I would like to know the name of the first sinner ever to be redeemed.” [y/n] says curtly and bows at him gracefully.

“I am Sssir Pentiousss... It is a pleassure to meet you... Misss?” Sir Pentious greeted, though a little awkward but cute.

“Greetings Sir Pentious, I am Raphael. An archangel and one of God's seven virtues. But you can call me [y/n].” [y/n] says with a small smile, offering her hand for a handshake which Sir Pentious accepted.

[Y/n] looked at her watch that's on her wrist, pretended to look worried. “As much as I want to stay and chat. I have somewhere else to be. Emily, Sir Pentious. It was nice seeing you two.” [y/n] says frantically, although just pretending.

Emily nodded and tried to calm the panicking archangel, “It's alright Miss [y/n], we can catch up later.” she says and [y/n] smiles and places a gentle kiss on the girl's forehead.

“Alright, have fun. And Sir Pentious?” [y/n] calls out to the man and he looks at her with confusion. “Welcome to heaven, I hope you'll enjoy your stay.” she says and quickly waves goodbye and flies away.

A meeting was then held with the seven virtues, they discussed what they should do next now that Charlotte Morningstar's hotel has worked. They agreed to put Sera on a trial but won't punish her severely like Lucifer.

“Adam's dead?” Camuel asked, shocked and [y/n] nodded.

“Apparently. Based on the exorcists' reports. Manz gone.” [y/n] says with a shrug and a lazy smirk.

“Finally!” Azrael laughs, the others just smirking.

“Good riddance.” Michael says calmly though a slight smirk on his face.

“What's our next course of action?” Gabriel asked, crossing her arms.

“Since this hotel the Morningstars are offering seems to work then there's only one thing we can do next.” Uriel says, sighing.

“Can't believe it actually worked. I guess we were wrong on how we treated Lucifer.” Camuel says and the others just shrug and sigh.

“We support this. We'll have to make sure this hotel keeps on working.” Jophiel says.

“[y/n].” Michael calls out and [y/n] can already tell where this is going.

“No.” she deadpans and Michael deadpans at her in return.

“What do you mean no? I haven't even asked yet.” Michael deadpans, Azrael chuckling beside [y/n].

“I just have a feeling I won't like it.” [y/n] says with a frown on her face.

“Too bad, you're doing it anyways. I want you to go down there and make sure to keep track of the hotel's progress.” Michael says sternly making [y/n] whine, she drops her head onto the circular table they were all sitting in. Groaning.

“More work? I don't wanna.” she says with a groan. Gabriel laughs.

“This can be an opportunity to get closure with you know who?” Uriel says with a chuckle.

“The fuck is closure? I don't need it.” [y/n] says, rolling her eyes.

“I think this is your chance [n/n]. I heard he's divorced lmao.” Jophiel cackles, [y/n] groaning once more.

“You two are going to be matching or twinsies!” Azrael teases making [y/n] glare at him playfully.

“Jokes aside. You need this [y/n]. Get some closure. We want you to be happy for once and I don't think we can handle more years of you feeling guilty for being so cold during the last time you saw him.” Camuel says softly, giving the girl a thumbs up.

“I better get extra day offs for this.” [y/n] says with a groan.

“Deal.” Michael says and [y/n] sighs.

It was a few weeks after the extermination that was targeted at the hotel. The hotel has been rebuilt and now looks even better than before. Charlie is happy that she and her friends managed to stop the extermination. There are some new sinners who wanted to give redemption a try so now the hotel is now bustling slightly. Her dad moved in and has a room of his own and helps her manage the hotel.

Currently, the crew are in the lobby just talking. It was already late in the evening and the other guests are now sleeping. Angel, Lucifer, and Husk were at the bar area. Niffty was cleaning, Vaggie and Alastor were on the couch.

Knock, knock, knock.

Loud knocks were heard on the front door of the hotel.

“New guests perhaps?” Alastor says with a grin, Charlie grins excitedly. A new soul wanting to try redemption.

The others just watched the girl walked towards the door, curious who was behind it.

Charlie took a deep breath, preparing herself to greet the new guest.

Opening the door, it was someone she did not expect.

A tall woman (almost the same height as Alastor) was standing by the door, a serious look on her face. What caught her attention was the amount of authority and power emitting from her and... The golden halo on her head and the small angel wings behind her head.

“Good evening Charlotte Morningstar, I came as a messenger from heaven.” the angel says with a grin.

Lucifer's body went pale as he heard that oh so familiar voice.

“[y/n]...” Lucifer murmurs in disbelief, seeing his supposed best friend now in front of the door.

“It has been awhile, Lucifer.” [y/n] says softly, eyes still emotionless. She's actually just dissociating so her eyes are like that, she can't control it okay. She has a serious case of lazy eyes.

“Ooohh drama...” Angel Dust whispers to Husk.

Suddenly an angelic spear was pointed at her throat, she did not flinch nor was afraid. She merely used her finger to move it away.

“What are you doing here?” the gray haired girl asked, glaring at her. [Y/n] just looked down on her with a smile on her face.

“I am just here to deliver a message. The seven virtues would like to support this hotel!” She says with a grin, Lucifer looked at her suspiciously.

Why wouldn't he? The seven virtues didn't listen to him before. So why now?

“Why now? Why did the seven decide to support this hotel just now?” Lucifer glares.

[Y/n] clapped her hands, Lucifer's eyes landing on the wedding band on her middle finger. It's no longer in her ring finger.

Alastor noticed the way the king of hell looked at the newly appeared angel with so much longing in his eyes. Interesting... Alastor grins.

“First and foremost, heaven apologizes for the yearly cleansing. It was a decision Sera, the high seraphim decided without informing us. We do not condone her actions and she would be faced in a trial.” [y/n] says nonchalantly, putting her hands on her pocket.

Lucifer flinches, he didn't know the decision was Sera's alone.

“Secondly, the hotel works.” [y/n] says with a grin.

This made the others look at her with confusion.

“A certain serpent sinner was redeemed. Ironic as the first one to doom humanity was a serpent and the first one to give humanity hope for redemption is also a serpent.” [y/n] laughs softly, Lucifer's eye twitched.

[Y/n]'s words sparked even more confusion with the others.

“Serpent?” Angel Dust asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Someone who goes by Sir Pentious is now in heaven. Based on my records, he was a sinner before.” [y/n] says, shrugging.

Their eyes widened at the news. Sir Pentious is alive!

“How can we be so sure you're not lying?” Husk asked, raising an eyebrow at the woman. [Y/n] just chuckles.

“It is up to you if you believe it or not, after all... Angels never lie.” she says with a grin, summoning a small notebook from thin air, flipping through the pages of the notebook to scan for her notes.

“Lastly, I will be helping with the hotel during my scheduled time here. I'll be keeping track of the soul's progress here and research how a soul actually goes to heaven as Sir Pentious' case is a rare one and the first one so... We have no data. Heaven hopes to find more info about this case.” [y/n] explained, “I hope we'll get along.” she says with a grin.

Charlie's eyes widened, progress. Her hotel is making progress. Heaven is slowly helping her.

“Excuse me, Miss...?” Charlie softly calls, not knowing the angel's name.

[Y/n] looked at the smaller girl, patting the girl's head.

“My name is [y/n], also known as the archangel Raphael. One of God's seven virtues. It is a pleasure to finally meet you officially, Ms. Morningstar.” [y/n] introduces herself gracefully. Lucifer is still in awe in how fast she climbed the ranks.

Charlie nodded, finally happy to know the woman.

“Is there a way for us to visit Sir Pentious?” she asked hopefully, the others leaning in and hoping the same thing. [Y/n] closes her notebook, a loud sound sounding from it.

“I am sorry, heaven currently doesn't accept visitation unless necessary. Although, I can send letters back and forth whenever I visit.” She suggested, Charlie's eyes saddened but returned to hopeful. At least they know Sir Pentious is still alive.

“That would be all. I'll see you next time on my visit to keep track of the progress. Until then.” [y/n] says softly bowing at them. Turning her back and slowly walked away from the door.

Stopping, she didn't turn around to face them again.

“And Lucifer...?” she says, hesitating but her voice is vulnerable. Lucifer's breath hitched and the others just looked at the scene with curiosity. It is obvious these two knew each other based on how they already know each when she first arrived. They can practically sense the tension.

“I was wrong and I am sorry.” she says softly. Summoning her three pairs of wings, large and majestic.

She has wings now... Lucifer thought. His eyes softened when he heard her apologize.

“Wait... [Y/n]—” He called out but she didn't listen.

[Y/n] quickly flies away, a portal opening for her and closes after she enters.

“Did anyone else notice the tension...?” Angel asked, voicing out everyone's thoughts, a smirk on his face. Angel didn't mention that he really felt the unspoken romantic tension between the two angelic beings. He's getting more tea.

“This is getting interesting.” Alastor says with a grin and Lucifer knows that the radio demon just found more ways to torment him.

End notes: I know some of you read Alastor's line in Zhongli or Childe's voice lmao. And yes, Azrael and reader divorced each other. I had to ship Azrael with my oc okayy, I need Azrael to have some love 💀

TAGLIST:

@adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata

[yupekosi]

dp x dc prompt again bc i am plagued with blorbo thoughts. should i make this a series?? anyway

so we all know that Jason 'Pride and Prejudice' Todd-Wayne is a nerd, right? no amount of muscle can hide that this fridge of a man was once the dorky little kid that was so excited to go to school he skipped out on Robin patrols to do homework.

I propose that Danny 'I Wanna Be an Astronaut' Fenton Phantom is also a fucking nerd. he gets good grades, when he's not having to juggle school, sleep, and secret ghost fighting, and he takes to engineering like a ghost to ectoplasm. he's also the exact kind of space-obsessed geeky kid that would absolutely devour every sci-fi show and book he could get, and I say that as someone who was that space-obsessed geeky kid.

so, as young teens, both boys spent a lot of time in online fandom spaces, and eventually become internet friends. Jason's into classic lit and Lord of the Rings while Danny's into comic books and Star Trek, but they get on surprisingly well. They're chatting on forums and beta-ing each other's fanfiction, that sort of thing... and then Jason vanishes.

he just stops responding to messages, he stops posting, all his accounts are abandoned. Danny is very concerned, of course, but this happens right around the time of his accident, so he has more city-destroying things to worry about than an online friend going MIA. and eventually, as he gets older, he sort of forgets about Jason, only occasionally thinking back to the kid he used to talk to, wondering whatever happened to him.

so time passes, and Danny, now a young adult, ends up meeting the Batfam for whatever reason. is he part of the Justice League? in Gotham for a Wayne Enterprises internship? superhero shenanigans? Ghost King Summoning? secret twin/son/clone bullshit? up to you!

any way, he's hitting it off with the Batkids, and at some point Jason subconsciously quotes something from one of his old, unpublished fanfics from his Tumblr days.

and Danny's jaw drops. the Batkids stare at him; you can see the gears turning in his head before he blurts out;

"You're WingingIt02???"

and something deep in Jason's brain, buried under layers of death-trauma and Pit Rage clicks.

"Holy shit, AstroloGhost??"

[once again, not planning to make this a fic, but feel free to run wild with the prompt! just give credit if you do, please! :3]

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Pregnancy Dramas

—Things you faced when you were carrying their child

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Fyodor, Kunikida X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mainly Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Pregnancy, Pregnancy problems, Cravings, etc

Word Count: 1.4k

↳Osamu Dazai

If anyone had told Dazai that he would eventually settle down with someone, he would have merely laughed at them; but there he was, standing next to the infirmary bed while looking at you, his beloved wife, who was carrying his baby.

You were now three months pregnant, your belly shaped into a cute bump. You both agreed to not know about the gender of your baby till it finally arrives, therefor, whenever you went to a sonography you only asked the doctor if the baby was ok and refused to gain any more information. You were feeling sick a while ago so Dazai hurried to the hospital to show you to a doctor, and now you were waiting for the result.

The doctor smiled at Dazai's worried face and put the sonography results on the desk. "You're very attentive toward your wife's health condition, but these kind of problems are common during pregnancy. I'll give you some medicine to kill the pain, though I assure you, all four of them are fine"

"Thank you so much, doc—"

You suddenly froze. Looking at your husband and catching a glimpse of his shocked face, you turned your face toward the doctor. "How... How many?"

"Ah, you're carrying triplets, right?"

Shit.

"T-there has to be some kind of mistake, sir" You were now stuttering over your words and Dazai was still silently staring at the doctor with the same expression. "I mean we didn't want to know anything about our baby until it's born but— TRIPLETS? MY FUCKING VAGINA IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"I'll... give you a minute..."

As the doctor left the room, you covered your mouth with your hand. "Aren't you going to say something...?"

"I... guess we'll have to ask Kunikida to be the godfather..."

"So that we raise the kids with his money?"

"Yeah"

"Well, sounds like a plan"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Sob* this cake is sob* delicious..."

Chuuya had always had a hard time understanding people around him since they were all a bunch of weirdos, and ever since you showed him the result of your pregnancy test, he couldn't really get you either.

"Yeah... I would have believed you if you weren't crying while eating it" He shook his head with disappointment as he reached for the cake tray, but you snatched it away and shot him a threatening look. "DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY CAKES. THEY'RE ALL MINE!"

"Ok ok, geez..."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Nothing! Eat your cakes!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I eat my cakes whenever I want to!"

"Do whatever you want y/n"

You shoved the rest of the cakes in your mouth, and your sobs got even louder. "I'm sob* gonna get nom nom* fat... Waaaa this is so tasty... sob*"

Chuuya thought of leaving the room, but that could make you even angrier.

"It's all your fault that I'm fat since you're the one who got me pregnant in the first place!"

"I'm not complaining baby doll, you look even prettier like this..."

"SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO BE FAT?"

"My god that's not what I fucking meant!"

During these few months, you had become overly sensitive and moody. He really was the one to blame— Chuuya did knew that; but sometimes he lost control and snapped out, like now. Though the second he saw your teary eyes, he sighed and leaned to plant a kiss on your cheek. "I'm sorry honey... What can I do to make you feel better?"

"...More cakes please?"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

You were lying on the couch and Fyodor was sitting on the floor with his head on your belly, wearing a soft smile that made your heart flutter. He had become extra sweet with you since the day you got pregnant, so despite all the pain and trouble you were going through, you didn't want these days to be over.

"Are you sure she's going to kick?" he held your hand gently and lightly kissed your palm.

"Positive. I mean, I kinda have the feeling... You know, motherly instinct and stuff..."

"Then I shall wait a little longer" He closed his eyes and started stroking your hand with his thumb. You couldn't help but to reach out for his cheek with your free hand to caress it, and you almost died when he leaned to your touch.

"Fedya..." "I love you too, my darling"

Then it happened.

A light kick indirectly hitting his head, announcing her presence to her daddy.

Fyodor smiled, a dazzling one that was rare and charming to the eye, and looked at your belly. "My... Our baby is a wild one. That was one aggressive kick"

"I'm sure she's just impatient" Giggling softly, you patted your belly. "She's not aggressive, she only wants to arrive soon. Our baby will be an angel"

"She will be; she takes after her mother, after all"

You closed your eyes at the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, thankful for your lovely family. You went through a lot to get to this moment, but you could never regret it even one bit. Not when you have Fyodor, and your soon-to-be-born baby.

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Safe and sound sleeps had always been a stranger to Akutagawa. Growing up in the slums, he had to sleep with his eyes open so that he would be ready when a threat came along; and even though he was not living in the slums anymore, he still couldn't get much of a sleep.

You wouldn't let him.

"Ryuu" You shook him lightly, watching as his nose scrunched up with annoyance. He seemed put out and he didn't even open his eyes, talking to you with a low, husky voice. "What?"

"I want fried chicken"

You observed him as his eyes shot open and stared at your serious face with disbelief. He looked kind of shocked, and you wondered if he was familiar with the term "Craving".

"Y/n it's 4am" He sounded unsure. "All of the stores have closed by now"

"I'm pregnant with a seven months old baby Ryuunosuke, I don't care if it's 4am"

"Well I'm not going out right now either" He closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep; but your sudden remark suddenly sobered him up.

"Fine then, I guess I'll just have to eat you instead of the chicken"

Your tone was not humorous, nor it was threatening. It was more like you were announcing your next steps if you don't get your way.

"I don't think I'm enough to satisfy you. I'm all bones, barely any flesh"

"Then I'll eat your sister. She's not as skinny as you. She's living next door, isn't she?"

Looking at you again, Akutagawa searched for a hint of humor in your eyes to confirm that you were joking; but all he saw was a dangerous gaze, shooting out of a hungry, pregnant woman's vicious eyes.

"...I'll go get my coat"

↳Doppo Kunikida

"Y/n? Where are you?"

Hearing your husbands voice, you get up and exit the bedroom to greet him at the front door of your apartment. You announced your pregnancy to him last night, making him thrilled to bits. After celebrating with you, he had started planning out the ideal schedule for the nine months ahead. He had left you hours ago to go shopping for necessary items, and now he was finally back.

"Welcome home, Anata" You pecked him on the cheek. "So? What did you buy? Lemme see them"

The blonde smiled and took your hand, dragging you inside the living room to sit on the couch. He then started taking his purchases out of the shopping bags, explaining about them with slight excitement.

"This is a medicine to help you stop vomiting, this device is baby sleep that would inform us when the baby wakes up in it's room, and these are some clothes that I bought for the baby. I tried to buy neutral clothes since we still don't know the gender of our baby"

"Oh Doppo, I think it's still too soon to buy some of these" You chuckled and took the small shirt to have a better look of it. Its small size made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were having a baby that probably looked like your husband. You finally had a family of your own. Nothing could stop you from being happy. Nothing...

"And these are for when your body gets bigger"

You looked at the pregnancy pants in his hands. "When my body gets bigger?"

"Yes"

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM BEING HAPPY.

"Your ankles are gonna swell, your breast are gonna get bigger, even your face might get a bit out of shape in the last month. Your cheeks might bloat as well too. There will also be stretch marks on your belly, and your vagina might dilate if you choose not to have a caesarean... ARE THOSE TEARS IN YOUR EYES??"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

[chiocchi]

If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.

JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.

I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.

I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.

But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.

Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.

And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.

I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).

Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[look-at-the-soul]

Because of you

Modern Tommy Shelby x reader

🎉 @runnning-outof-time I write this little fluffy piece for your celebration! Hope you like this! Congratulations on 4K followers, and also thank you for your kindness, your constant content -which I’m trying to catch up on-, and your little sweet and cheerful messages K! 💖 I’m particularly grateful for your presence in this fandom (the very first blog I remember following and following me back!)

Last but not least, thank you @justrainandcoffee for the absolutely beautiful moodboard!!!!!!! ♥️✨ It’s everything I imagined and even more ✨

A/N: Keep reading until the end, you’ll find a recipe in case this story makes you go hungry 🤭 because in this blog we share photos and recipes, whatever you want 😉 I couldn’t help it but add the grandma element in this one (Grandma’s series) and a little baby fever 👀 @forbidden-forest-witch

Word count: 2,308

“Alright Polly, I’ll deal with the contracts tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks, Ada should be sending you the papers.”

“Enjoy the rest of your holiday already, bye.” He added but didn’t hang up. He heard her laughing at the other end of the line. “For good, have some fucking rest.”

She was just like him, refused to take days off, now she was finally about to embark into a cruise around the Mediterranean.

“Are you home yet?” She asked.

“Yeah, just want to take a bath and go to sleep.” But that was so unlikely since both his children were home for the weekend.

“Give Y/N and the kids a kiss from me.” Polly requested and finally hung up.

Getting a phone call from an known number, Tommy decided he was done for the day, so pressing the red button, he walked into his apartment and immediately the voices coming from the kitchen caught his attention.

Genuine, loud laughs filled the hall and he recognized the unmistakable song in the background.

“I want the pink M&M’s!” Shouted Ruby.

“Why do you like everything that’s pink?” Charlie questioned as Tommy left his keys and wallet by the table.

“Because…” his daughter’s voice mumbled something he didn’t understand. “Y/N can you spin me around again, pleeeease?”

Tommy was about to interrupt the scene going on the kitchen, but he stopped midway as Y/N turned around and leaned forward, Ruby wrapped her arms and legs from behind while Y/N held her feet and slowly twirled around. Making his daughter giggle uncontrollably, her hair flowing.

“Okay now go back to your chair because you’re making the baby twirl inside too.” Y/N joked.

“I don’t know how you do it, when I was pregnant all I could was throw up. You need to take it easy.” Her mother asked in a worried tone.

“Mom I’m fine, besides the baby really wants a slice.” Then, looking at Charlie, she gasped. “Oh Charlie we don’t lick the spatula,” she told him in a calm tone, but it was too late he was done decorating his slice and now half his face was covered in chocolate, “well, what’s a few germs between friends huh?”

As the kids started giggling, she noticed Tommy standing by the door.

She was wearing a black tight dress that looked like a second skin on her, wrapping every curve perfectly and also showing his favorite new feature; the baby bump fully on display. Her hair free, wild long waves covered her back. A few bracelets hanging from her wrist, the Cartier watch he gave her for their first anniversary and her signature smile that took his breath away.

“I didn’t hear you,” wiping her hands with a cloth, she approached her husband. “Missed you.”

His hands wrapped around her back immediately as their lips connected. She tasted like cheesecake and strawberries.

“I missed you too.” He whispered and crunching down, he planted a kiss on her swollen belly. “How’s my little one, eh?”

“Starving and wriggling around.” Y/N answered as Tommy went for another kiss, this time on her lips.

“Eww, dad.” Charlie complained. Embarrassed by their affection.

Ignoring his son’s complain, he went to kiss Ruby on the cheek and then kissed Charlie as well, ruffling his blonde hair in the process.

“Hello Lisa, how are you doing?”

“Trying to make Y/N sit, but she won’t listen to me.” His mother in law welcomed him with a hug.

“Yeah, I deal with that on a daily basis.” He winked at her playfully.

“Hello? I’m standing right here!” Y/N waved at them.

“Oh!” Tommy made an innocent face. “Right, well I didn’t say anything.”

Ruby laughed. “Look Dad! Y/N had some crampings and we made a cheesecake!”

“I think she means cravings right?” He asked Y/N in a low voice, making his wife smile. “We? Are you sure you baked that?”

“Weeeeell Y/N and grandma baked it, but we decorated it!” She defended.

“And we made all slices with different topings.” Added Charlie.

Tommy’s heart melted as he heard his daughter call Y/N’s mother grandma, she and Polly were the closest his kids had.

He had lost his mother a long time ago, but once Y/N stepped into his life everything changed. Lonely nights were filled with love, long and deep talks. Actually, thanks to her, Tommy started to spend quality time with his children; Charlie and Ruby, driving them or picking them up from school, arranging plans on the weekends, even taking them both on holidays.

And Lisa welcomed not only him into her family lovingly, but both his kids as if they were her biological grandchildren.

“So which one is for me?” He asked after clearing his throat, he tried to hide his emotions, but Y/N could read him like an open book and a moment later he felt her hand on his back and her head on his shoulder. “These all look great.”

He spied on the slices with several options.

“Y/N said chocolate marble is your favorite.” Ruby gave him a serious stare.

“That’s about right.” He nodded profusely in her direction, then looking at his mother in law, he asked her; “I hope they didn’t give you loads of work.”

“None of that, they’re amazing kids.” Lisa beamed.

A groan came from the fridge, Tommy went immediately after Y/N worried.

“What is it?”

“We were going to put the pizza in the oven, but I can’t stand the smell.” She made a face.

Tommy decided to check the food, it had been in the freezer but it might be bad.

“This doesn’t smell, Y/N.”

“I just don’t want pizza anymore.” She pouted.

And in that very same moment, Tommy understood this was one of those mood swings caused by the pregnancy. A careful smile spread on his lips as his hands caressed her bump gently.

“Okay, so what do you want for dinner instead?”

By the corner of his eye, he saw his mother in law trying to suppress a giggle, luckily the children were busy with the cheesecake.

“We want tacos.” Y/N batted her eyelashes as she ran one of her hands over her stomach.

“Alright everybody,” he clapped his hands and looked at Charlie and Ruby, “go wash your hands then you’re going to help me prepare some tacos.”

“Yay!”

“Delish.” Ruby shouted and went into the bathroom.

“You’re staying with us right?” He asked Y/N’s mother.

She nodded and felt grateful when Tommy convinced her daughter to go and relax into the living room while they worked on the food.

“Last week she woke me up in the middle of the night because she wanted fried mozzarella sticks with mayonnaise.”

Y/N’s mother laughed as the kids joined them again.

“This is insane, I don’t know how you keep up with all of that.”

“I was worried about her health and the baby of course, but the doctor mentioned everything is perfect, baby is healthy… perhaps it’s the fact that she’s still doing exercise.”

“When I was pregnant I was sick all the time. She didn’t like anything of food I got.”

Tommy seemed to think about it as he started seasoning the beef.

“Actually Y/N felt like that for a few days after we found out, but then she started to eat pretty much everything, everywhere.” He chuckled. “Thankfully it’s been an easy pregnancy so far.”

He had actually been able to live this pregnancy to the fullest, joining Y/N for the doctor’s appointments, cravings, hormonal days, everything, something he didn’t have the chance to do with Charlie and Ruby.

He was enjoying every little change in Y/N’s body, the first time he felt a little kick, he cried actually, touched by the thought of his baby growing inside the woman he loved. They actually wanted to keep the gender a surprise until the baby arrives, it had been a challenge at times, but it was fun.

“Dad where’s the onion?” Ruby showed him the open fridge.

“Oh no, no… can we not add onions please?” Y/N joined them with a wrinkled nose.

“Two days ago you ate a full portion of fried onions, love.”

“This baby,” she pointed at her belly, “wanted onions, not me.”

“Isn’t it the same?” Charlie asked confused.

But Tommy knew better. “No onions then, I’ll start the grill with something else.” He added wanting to please her in every little detail.

As the kids helped Y/N’s mother to wash the avocados, Tommy got rid of his suit jacket.

Y/N stared at his back, wide with broad, toned shoulders covered by a perfectly fitted shirt. She loved to see him wearing daily a three piece suit in a world full of oversized t-shirts and pants.

But when he started rolling the sleeves of his shirt up, she lost it completely.

The sight of him was mouthwatering.

And as Tommy turned around, he caught her staring at her, the fire in her eyes could turn him on in a second.

“Behave, Y/N.” He whispered, disguising his words with a kiss on her hair. “Perhaps we’ll need a babysitter over the weekend?”

He chuckled at the way she nodded eagerly.

“My, my… what would your brothers say if they saw you wearing an apron and cooking?” Y/N’s mother joked, making everyone laugh by her sincerity.

“This is a secret we’ll have to keep, alright.” Tommy winked before checking the steak, he then asked Ruby to -carefully- and under his supervision to add cheese to the tortillas. “Chef Shelby only cooks for very very special people.” He added throwing a kiss to the air.

As Charlie brought the plates over the counter, he started slicing the meat and the explosion of flavors in the kitchen started to smell incredibly good.

Y/N’s mother was in charge of the different sauces, it was a usual now in their fridge as Y/N craved tortilla chips with sauce most of the time.

“Wow… this is Instagram worth it.” Y/N admitted taking a looking over Charlie’s shoulder. As the kid grinned at her, he made sure to serve a tortilla in each plate, to then hand it to his father so he could add the carne asada.

“What a beautiful family.” Y/N’s mother admitted, touched by the way Ruby was caressing Y/N’s stomach, Charlie helping with her food and Tommy looking after all of them.

Leaving the spoon, Tommy wrapped an arm around his loved ones while extending his free hand towards his mother in law.

“What are you doing there? You’re part of this too.”

After they were all released from the tightest hug, it was time to finally enjoy some tacos.

“Now shoo,” Tommy ushered Y/N out of the kitchen to arrange the food.

Gathering a tray, he placed the bowl with the guacamole and around all the tacos he just prepared. Leaving a small space for the sauces.

“Oh my God! This is so good!” Y/N admitted loudly after her first taco bite.

“Dad why does Y/N can eat before all of us?” Ruby asked innocently, confused because she was always told to wait until everyone were ready.

Tommy chuckled while Y/N apologized for not waiting the rest of the family.

“We don’t want to upset the baby, Rube. Right mama?”

Y/N nodded, her mouth was watering at the sight of the rest of the food. “That taco was for the baby, the next one is for me.”

After the kids took their place, Y/N’s mother offered a hand to each kid, seated each by her side. “Now what are we grateful for?”

“For this moment.” Tommy took the lead, feeling ever so grateful to have his loved ones in that room.

“For the cheesecake we’ll eat after dinner.” Charlie grinned.

“For this baby, and for each one of you.” Y/N’s words were followed by a smile.

“For my grand son or daughter!” Her mother joined the joy.

“For my little sister or brother.” Ruby added lastly.

“Now…” Tommy interrupted their hands mind-air as they were all after the delicious food on the table. “There’s something else I’m thankful for, tomorrow morning, we’ve to get up early because,” he was then interrupting by a chorus of groans and a pout from Y/N, “nevertheless… we’re going to visit a couple of houses to move in as soon as possible.”

“What?” Y/N was in shock.

“Love, this baby is coming very soon, we’ll need a bigger place than this apartment, I was thinking of a room for each,” he looked over at both children, “a nursery for the baby and of course a guest bedroom so you don’t have to share Ruby’s bed anymore.” He added looking at his mother in law.

“Oh Tommy!” Y/N’s eyes swelled with gratitude.

“I’ve narrowed the search to five properties so you’ll get to make the final decision.” He explained then.

“A house! Tommy a house!” Y/N couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“With a garden.” He encouraged.

“Can we have a pool?” Charlie asked.

“I want a doll house!”

“Whatever you want.” Tommy added, winking in Y/N’s direction. “Can we eat now?”

As the kids stormed to get their tacos, Y/N took his hand. A growing smile on her lips.

“You never said anything.” Her eyes sparkled.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“I’m so happy because of you.” Her sincerity wasn’t just in her words, but in her eyes as well.

And deep down, Tommy couldn’t believe that thanks to her, he was able to find stability, loyalty, freedom, love, a family, someone who helped him every day to be a better person.

****

I hope you enjoyed this little story! 🥰 remember, your feedback (in all ways) is always welcome and highly appreciated! ✨ xx

Tacos recipe

Master list

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @lau219 @lauren-raines-x @red-riding-wood

[lacrimosathedark]

THAT'S IT! This is a Janet Drake Defense Post

As may be obvious, I spend a lot of time reading fanfic. And there's this trend that drives me nuts, and it's villainizing Janet Drake.

I'm not gonna say she's an A+ mother. She's not. She chose her career and adventures over spending time with her child much of the time. But fandom portrays her as some rich pompous ice queen, which is never shown.

Janet Drake mostly appears in the story Tim's introduced, and in the story she dies.

So, let's start from the top: Haly's Circus.

This event is the only time we see her really interacting with Tim before her death, but it shows that at least when he was young, she was an active part of his life. She was worried about bringing Tim because it might scare him. And then rightfully scolds her husband for being sexist because Jack Drake actually IS a jerk.

...I don't like the art in this comic. Or that the writer doesn't know how kids speak.

But Janet is being supportive of Tim's clear interest in Dick's performance.

And then tragedy strikes and she acts like, y'know, a mother.

Her priority is getting her son and herself out of there.

Also worth noting that the Drakes sent a copy of that final photo of the Graysons TO Dick, which is how he has it at all. If both of them were stuck up pricks, would they even bother sending a photo to a grieving child performer they hardly know? I can't imagine Jack really bothering, but I don't see why Janet wouldn't.

And then, by the time she's dying, we know that Tim's parents have been away for a very long time, he never knows where they are, but they've communicated enough that he knows that they've been fighting.

They're passive aggressive to say the least. This marriage is clearly not working anymore.

EDIT CUZ I REMEMBERED A THING:

It's worth noting that this is a time before smartphones. This comic was released in 1990, which was when pre-paid mobile phones had just started existing. Coverage isn't universal NOW, so back then it was even less, and Jack and Janet are archeologists (or archeologist adjacent?) so they're going to be in less developed and populated areas most of the time. It's unlikely they'd have consistent access to a functional phone that could call the states to talk to Tim regularly.

This isn't to defend their absence, because fuck that, but it's to give it some context. I don't think they were trying to ignore or abandon Tim. Communication was just not readily available and Janet seems to get wrapped up in work...and Jack's an asshole.

Also for note, Janet is probably the one sending Tim postcards in the first place. It being signed "Mom and Dad" is what makes me think that. Jack would have put himself first if he wrote it, it woulda said "Dad and Mom". That's admittedly pure speculation, BUT IT FITS SOOOOOO

My thought is if this were made modern, Janet would be sending extremely scattered texts and Tim would get next to nothing from Jack unless Janet prompted him.

END EDIT

(Fair warning, this story is a few levels of Yikes, but I'm gonna stay on topic)

Bad guy Obeah Man does...something? to the pilot, and they crash, and he has a group of people kidnap the Drakes and their assistant Jeremy.

Danger really puts some things in perspective, for Janet, at least. And that continues for her. Jack is a bit delusional and in denial, thinking he has any control of the situation.

They are tied up and filmed for ransom, their assistant killed right in front of them.

Jack just keeps raging, but Janet is having regrets. Notice how she doesn't cry until Tim is brought up. Could be nothing, could be something.

And then she dies.

Her only other major appearance is when Tim is having a fever dream from the Clench and everything is kind of okay for a minute.

Tim very clearly loves his mom. And we may not get a lot of characterization for her, but she's not cold or callous like people write her constantly.

And now, we finally have a little more about her as of Batman 134.

I haven't really been keeping up since the Gotham War stuff because What The Fuck Was That My Guy, but I recently saw this specific comic.

The multiverse is fucked up again, some way some how, and Bruce is lost (again) and Tim has to get him back (again). This time, Tim is going in after him. But he doesn't end up going straight to Bruce.

He goes to see an alt of his mom.

Tim missed her so much that he ended up going to her before Bruce.

And her immediate reaction is to run up and hug him. Does that look like a mother who doesn't love her son?

"Do you have anyone to take care of you?"

"I don't know how this happened, this miracle...but I just know, in my heart of hearts, it was to show me...that every version of my son is a good one."

Tell me again that this woman is heartless and didn't want her son, I fucking dare you.

And we get more meaning to the name "Robin" and a little crumb about Tim's grandmother. As a treat.

This is all to say, please stop writing Janet Drake as a cold, heartless bitch.

Small final note though: Jack Drake is, in fact, a shitty person and a shitty father. He does still love Tim and Tim loves him AND THAT IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE, but the relationship is a mess. If either parent is actively abusive, it's 1000% Jack "smashed a TV because my son wasn't listening to me and threatened Bruce Wayne at gunpoint" Drake. Probably part of why the marriage was falling apart.

Anyway, yeah, let's retire the "Jack and Janet Drake are Bad Parents" tag and replace it with "Jack Drake is a Bad Parent" and "Janet Drake's C+ Parenting" or something.

[queers-gambit]

Dating Billy Hargrove HC's

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

warnings: cursing, abusive parents, dysfunctional relationships, toxic lovers, romanticism of toxic character. borderline NSFW because sex is a part of relationships (and this is Billy we're talking about, so...) please proceed maturely.

• strap in - let's fucking GOOOOOOOOO

• this boy is something else, okay? he's like nobody you've ever met, anyone you've ever dated - he's unlike anybody in this small town that you've grown up in your whole life.

• he's a Cali boy - he even smells like trouble!

• oh, but Billy Boy isn't all that meets the eye. he's complex, he's damaged, he's confused, he's harboring a lot of anger and resentment.

• his mom's been gone and out of the picture for so long, one might worry he's taken on a harmful view towards women. however, that's not the case at all.

• you meet on his first day of school - i know, i know, how cliche, right? only it was completely unavoidable. you were a star student, all right? your grades weren't stellar but they weren't bad; you tested decently well; maybe you played a sport and had a club or two you attended.

• it makes you the perfect student for the guidance counselor to select "randomly" to help show the new kid around.

• he's not very warm when you first meet. he's got this look in his eye and they way he totally shmoozed Miss McKenna (the principals own middle aged assistant) was enough to make your mind throw up multiple red flags.

• so you show him around. answer a few questions but when he tries to get personal, maybe asking what you were doing after school, you insist the tour's over and he could find his way from there.

• you don't give him a second glance as you leave him alone in the hallway and Billy's lips are pulling in a smirk.

• he was unlike anyone you knew - but you were the exact breath of fresh air Billy needed.

• so, he pines. poor baby doesn't know what to do when a girl isn't melting on the spot when he looks at her. in fact, he's not seen you or spoken to you since you showed him around.

• drives him a little crazy but he's fine. because eventually, he finds you one day, after school, looking distraught. it's obvious you want to be alone based on your location and Billy's never been the comforting type, all right?

• doesn't stop him from approaching you and silently taking the seat on the pavement beside you. he doesn't speak. just lights a cigarette and hands it to you before lighting one for himself. the silence prolongs until you break it.

• "what're you doing here?" you sniffled, trying to hide the emotion you felt.

• and Billy would shrug, "just hangin'. looked like you could've used some company."

• you're vulnerable, so, you admit you're waiting for your father and when you mention you don't have the best relationship, he goes rigid with understanding and empathy.

• an emotion he's NOT accustomed to.

• he learns your father and mother divorced years ago and he's been in and out of your life since. however, he called that morning and begged to pick you up from school so you could have some 'father-daughter time'... yet here you were, tears in your eyes, waiting on a man who wouldn't show.

• Billy offers you a ride home and finds he enjoys your banter so much, he offers to drive you home the next day.

• you're a little suspicious but he doesn't make a single move. he just drives you home after school, both of you lost in some ridiculous conversation that you're not even sure how it started.

• it then turns into him picking you up before school, too. just for a little extra time together.

• oh, and then, he was coming to your house on the weekends.

• he didn't mind you fussing in his hair if it meant he could light a joint and relax without the fear of his father.

• in fact, Billy becomes so dependent on you and the escape your presence provides him that he keeps a small duffel bag full of clothes in your closet. for emergencies, you know?

• and there are a few emergencies, sure. you're pretty used to him crashing a night there. you'll wash the dirty clothes he leaves and put them in the duffel after for next time.

• again, he's a Cali boy so he smokes. and he'll be really critical of the weed in Hawkins 'cause he's used to 'good shit'.

• but considering the small town, he takes what he can get.

• you have a lot of open, honest, vulnerable conversations when smoking because both of your filters will go down.

• he doesn't realize it until later but those are the moments he's opening himself up to you most in. while scary, he feels something akin to relief and gratitude to have someone to share parts of himself with.

• your friendship starts off innocent; just two people hanging out, cracking jokes, complaining about their home life. but it changes around December.

• you become close to Max - it's almost impossible not to. you're fond of Billy and would do what you could to help take him away from the pain of his father, but Max didn't really have anyone.

• until the party adopted her, but outside that, she got used to seeing you around a lot. and no, you never minded when she'd ask for your help on something; be it boys, school, friends, or her skateboard.

• you and Max bond by her teaching you to skate. and Billy won't admit it, but his heart felt ten times lighter the day he looked out the window and saw your hands clasped in Max's, rolling on her board, both of you laughing so hysterically, it made you fall to the grass.

• the laughter didn't end for the rest of the day, and Max wondered if this was what a sister felt like.

• in December, you accept to help her get ready for the Snowball Dance! precious babies!

• you bring a whole suitcase full of clothes, a tote bag of shoes, make-up, and hair accessories. and of course, a few magazines for references.

• when Billy opens the door, he smirks as he takes in your baggage, "movin' in, princess?"

• he reaches to take the tote bag off your shoulder so you wouldn't carry the weight.

• but Max is there, nudging him out of the way, "she's here for me."

• when Billy's puppy-eyes turn to you, you can't help but sigh lightly and hand Max the wheeling suitcase. she dashes back for her room and you stand in front of Billy, hands flattened against his waist as you tease lightly, "you're gonna have to share me, you know."

• his eyes would roll lightly, "says who?"

• "behave," you chuckled, moving to help Susan get Max ready. and by the end of the night, you're waving the redhead off with Billy's arm slung around your shoulders. "see what happens when you're patient?"

• Susan and Neil dropped Max off before going on their own date, meaning you and Billy were home alone.

• you might've felt nervous but he never pressured you. instead, he seemed a little more tender as the holidays drew on and you had a sneaking suspicion he was mourning the life, and family, he knew before.

• so, what do you do? you're pulling ingredients out in his kitchen and insisting he helps you make a batch of cookies. the radio is flicked on and Christmas carols ring around the room.

• he's not good at baking but he laughs more in those two hours than he had in a full week. his eyes get soft and he might even act on the way his heart feels vulnerable, pulling you in for a slow dance around the kitchen.

• snow MIGHT even start to fall outside, marking this as your very own Snowball Dance.

• Billy kisses you that night, your lips tasting like the batter your finger had taken a dollop of. it's a searing kind of kiss, the one that feels like a long time coming - finally arriving and making your body explode with pinpricks of hormones.

• needless to say, you two were joined at the hip from that day on. Neil wasn't the biggest fan of you because you were just so fucking nice - it confused him what you saw in Billy.

• but you saw all the best parts of him, despite Neil's conditioning to showcase the worst.

• so, you're dating now, right? beautiful. doesn't mean it's perfect, okay? Billy's still a little bent outta shape that he requires time and understanding.

• he's doing his best, okay?

• he curses, like, a lot. at you, near you, in reference to you. but he’ll never resort to cheap ploys and will always comes to your defense if someone’s out of line.

• big fan of the whole ‘total dickhead to everyone except so-and-so’. cause that’s you and Billy.

• but when Billy's your boyfriend, oh, lord! get ready for the PDA 'cause he's chomping at the bit to touch you every moment.

• it shocks you to learn physical touch is his love language, what with the way Neil abuses him; you'd assumed touch might trigger him.

• but Billy explains to you that your touch could never hurt him and he relishes in the warmth your hands provide. instead of the fear Neil instilled, your touch gave comfort. warmth. hope, and peace.

• so, you run with that information. walking around the mall? your hands are conjoined or an arm is around someone's waist. at school? your hand might stray to run through his curls in the cafeteria, earning his attention. grocery store? boy's got his hands around your waist, or somewhere near your neck, while you push the cart lazily up and down the aisles.

• yes, yes, yes, Billy comes to you when anything goes wrong. he's never been like that, he doesn't understand why now, all of a sudden when he's overwhelmed, he's sneaking out and running to your house. but you're a safety net for him, and you wipe his tears; how can he not feel safe with you?

• your mom don't like him 'cause she's heard all the rumors. she even once belonged to Karen Wheeler's bookclub but left it because all the middle aged ladies were talking about her daughter's boyfriend hyper-sexually.

• she had a hard time looking Billy in the eye after that.

• it makes your mom a bit uneasy. but she respects your wishes and your want to be in a relationship. so, life carries on with a few back handed or passive aggressive comments.

• you don't like the smell of cigarettes so he won't smoke around you. you know it's a hard habit to kick and sometimes he'll ask if it's okay, but he'll definitely refrain from smoking cigarettes around you.

• he might even start to feel a little insecure and leaves an extra shirt in the trunk of his car to change into so that your nose isn't pressed right against the smoke-filled fabric.

• Billy's a big ass baby, man. look, he's a total sucker for not doing shit; throwing a movie on and literally laying on top of you. one of your hands would run through his hair as the other caressed the skin of his neck and cheek. one leg laid flat along his as the other bends to lean against his hip and keep him cocooned in your love.

• he'll often fall asleep like that. big ass baby. God, i love him.

• loves when you play with his hair. you're the only one he allows - no, i'm serious! others have tried, others really want to, but Billy never let them. until you and then it felt like your hands belonged in his silky tresses.

• don't get me started on Billy being protective. cause that's his whole thing, okay?

• shit, got me started. look, so, Billy gives a WHOLE new meaning to being protective. he's defending you against anyone - even his own father - because nobody talks shit about you.

• he's been handed a few beatings by Neil for raising his voice in defense of you.

• but he says he'd do it again and again. nobody got to say a single word he didn't like about you. girls in the locker rooms? yeah, all that gossip stopped after Billy confronted the cheer captain before Chrissy.

• few boys at a party looking at you like you're a piece of meat? oh, look! a heavy arm is slinging around your shoulders to turn you; a hand gripping you cheeks to pull you in for a bruising kiss. due to the intensity, you know he's staking his claim; sliding your tongue into his mouth as distraction.

• does the trick because he's groaning when you pull back. his hand's on your ass, telling anyone watching who you belonged to.

• he'll approach those dudes later and growl, "i catch you lookin' at my girl again, it'll be the last time you have eyes."

• is it aggressive? yes, but so is Billy, and so is his determination to protect you. he doesn't always know the best way to do that but he's figuring it out as he goes.

• you often have talks about his protectiveness but you understand he's very unsure how to go about all of this, so, you both take it in stride. if he catches your glare when he's acting up, he'll begrudgingly back down but that's okay. why? 'cause you're taking his hand and pulling you both away from whatever situation set him off.

• and he's a sweetheart when he wants to be. baby boy can't stand to see your tears, so, if you start to cry, every defense he has is dropping.

• he's been the reason for your tears a few times and he's gutted by the idea. so, you see the progress he makes in avoiding previous issues to avoid your tears.

• communication's difficult for Billy but he tries, only for you. he knows you can't read his mind and he needs to verbalize his needs; maybe doing it a little roughly but he was doing it at least. and practice makes perfect, so, it's fine.

• because your relationship is a partnership that you both have equal stake in. your job isn't to judge, but to encourage.

• but you also get him to open up communication with Max and Susan - since Neil is a lost cause.

• you've never seen Neil physically strike Billy but you've heard the yelling and you've heard the impact of a few slaps from your place in Billy's bedroom and theirs from the kitchen.

• on those days, Billy's darting back into his room and closing the door before leaning against it. his cheek's red and swelling slightly, making you stand in worry. but your movement shakes him from his thoughts and he's sniffling, "get your things, sweet girl, we're heading out."

• "where?"

• "anywhere that isn't here. i can't have you here when he's riled up like that, we gotta go."

• always protecting you.

• ayo, y’all know that medallion he wears? well guess what? he placed it around your neck and claims it’ll protect you when he can’t. he wants to see it on you. my fucking HEART.

• Billy comes to you for any academic help. he doesn't give a single fuck about school, didn't even bring a pencil his first week. but he doesn't want to flunk out and repeat so he puts in just enough effort.

• sometimes, it's not enough and he's coming to you to help proofread his essay to ensure he got at least a 75% to weigh his grade to passing.

• he gets an 88% and fucks you into the mattress.

• you're a lot more inclined to help him with homework after that.

• he's a private person. so, even if you're left in his room while he showers or goes to handle whatever Neil's yelling about, you're not able to see many personal things. everything's hidden and you're not about to snoop through his shit.

• eventually, after a particularly hard day, he's holding you in his arms, on his bed, and then reaching for a wooden box under it. inside are pictures and memorabilia, explaining he hid it so Neil couldn't weaponize it against him.

• and in front of your eyes, he takes a polaroid photo of you two and places it in the box for safekeeping. "because i treasure you, my sweet girl," he'd whisper. "don't want anyone taking this from me."

• heart melts.

• Billy dominates you. like clockwork.

but y'all ever see Game of Thrones and Khaleesi rides Khal Drogo for the first time? he comes in ready to dominate her and she's like nah, l got this and rides him to oblivion?

• think THAT but with Billy.

• he'll want you to be a plaything one day, but the next, he's mewling like a bitch in heat while you ride him. he'll even let your hand wrap around his throat when you're on top.

• he won't admit he likes it but you can tell.

• Billy likes telling you how pretty you are. you get all flustered and he adores it, finding it funny that he'll be balls deep in you, telling you all kinds of profane things he wanted to do to your pussy and you'll just eat it up - but the moment he tells you you're beautiful, you're all embarrassed like a school girl.

• spurs the nickname "pretty girl". he'll call you other pet names, too, but he'll always resort back to "pretty" or "sweet girl".

• big sucker for the troupe, 'never calling you your government name unless angry' cause that's Billy. like 100%. he won't call you your name unless angry (at you) or trying to be serious. meaning it's always a pet name rolling off his tongue.

• HA! good luck trying to leave Billy without a kiss goodbye. it does NOT matter if you literally run up to him because you forgot your chapstick in his jacket pocket and have to get back to practice - he's pulling you in for a kiss before you leave. going to work? where's his kiss, huh? oh, you thought you were getting out of this car without a kiss? that's illegal. the toll tax is now three kisses.

• the boy melts when you kiss him and your hand will hold his cheek. so simple but so intimate for him.

• and when cuddling, he's a big fan of feeling your nails against his skin and scalp. he even likes it when you trace over his face with a fingertip, leaning in to peck his lips quickly before huddling back under his chin.

• Billy often wonders what he did to deserve you - often comes up with jackshit.

• he says he loves you first but it starts as a fight. probably over something stupid, like Tommy H. hitting on you in calculus, but it'll snowball out of control because he's scared of what he's feeling, and over the very idea that someone could take you from him.

• when Billy's scared, fight or flight kicks in and his natural instinct is to fight then flee. so, he'll pick at scabs and old wounds to make them bleed so you won't try to stop him when he leaves.

• but you've been around long enough to know how he ticks.

• the conversation will be instigated by you, begging him to tell you the fucking truth, and he's shouting, "because I'm in love with you, for fuck's sake!"

• mmmmh, yeah, you get fucked on the couch that night because you can't make it to his room. thankfully, nobody was home because y'all are like frantic rabbits going at it. and when you're on top that night, you tell him, "i love you too," against his lips; that fucking hand holding against his cheek.

• he goes a little feral and will wrap his arms around your waist to hold you in position before jackhammering his hips up into yours. growling, sweating, just desperate to be as physically close to one another as possible.

• he wants to hear you say you love him all the time now. Billy needs a lot of reassurance and you've plenty to give. he'll make it a point to remind you he loves you even when in a fight - the very idea of you thinking he didn't anymore enough to make him want to tug his hair out.

• baby boy feels like his mother didn't know / hear how much he loved her, and that's why she easily left him behind. so, he'll be damned if he lets you think the same thing.

• don't try the whole words of affirmation shit because it'll literally always end in a fight. some abusive conditioning can't be changed.

• doesn't mean you let Billy forget his value. and oh, fuck, is he grateful for you. he's insecure under all that bravado and telling him you see his value is almost as good as hearing you loved him.

• in public, he's usually whispering in your ear some shitty joke. arm around your neck and shoulders. just happy to be near each other and never once giving a fuck about PDA.

• you never touch a door, you hear me? never. Billy opens all doors, even if he's pissed off.

speaking of -

• nobody angers him like you, because you're so close.

• but also, nobody can bring Billy back to reality like you can.

• he stops beating people up because he worries about your opinion of him; and he never wants to give you reason to be afraid of him.

• but when angry, he's loud. he throws shit. he'll curse and when overwhelmed, he'll cry and break down in earnest confusion.

• his anger takes over and makes his heart feel heavy; but after the initial storm cloud, he's vulnerable and stripped bare of his defenses as you're cuddling him close.

• Billy tells you he doesn't like to be so angry and he's trying to find other outlets.

• and you assure him that it's okay to feel overwhelmed and like he's gonna blow his top off. it's okay to have emotion, and it's okay to not know what to do with it.

• fuck and that smile? man, he's got you like putty in his hands when he flashes that blinding smile.

• it's cool though 'cause he's totally whipped and if you pout, he's going to get whatever you asked him for. baby boy's a sucker for your puppy dog eyes, making it your secret weapon. you don't use it often but when you do, Billy swears his heart beat stops and speeds up all at the same time.

• he really likes kissing you. if you're not in the mood to fuck, you're tired, stressed, whatever, he's fine with it as long as you're game for a little make out session. honestly? you're never not game.

• Billy's a big cuddler but never in front of people, only ever in private.

• but he's very proud to be your man so he looks for any reason to touch you. it's a sense of both protectiveness and possession; daring anyone to come and relinquish his claim so he might have reason to beat the shit outta one of these punks looking at his girl.

• or so his brain tells him. he's much more even tempered with you but every now and then, old habits flare up, and it's up to you to safely defuse the time bomb that is Billy's anger.

• Billy often doesn't feel worthy of you, so, he'll start fights. you're quick to shut it down.

• and when it's good, it's really good.

• boy will bring you flowers because it makes him feel like he's doing at least something right. and the way your lips will spread in a beaming smile has him making a mental note to pick up another bouquet sometime soon.

• picnics. i know, he doesn't seem the type, you thought so as well. but it's solitary for you both; peaceful and away from the crazy shit going on in town. besides, when he's with you, he's not looking at anyone or wondering about their opinion - his focus is 110% on you.

• which means he can read your body language like he's fluent. nervous ticks? he knows 'em. gotta pee? he can tell. feeling some pent up sexual frustration? he's not sure how it's possible but he knows what's going on, and he's taking action.

• he knows your birthday and anniversary too, so, he's always prepared. never before had he cared about ANY of that - but then you happened, and it all changed.

• ugh - changing Billy's attitude around. he's not so much of a dickhead once he starts dating you. everyone at school notices it.

• he's stupid sweet and gentle with you. he'll stand at your locker and curl your hair behind both ears as you talk; completely focused on all that you are.

• rejects other girls (harshly) because he's enamored with you. and he doesn't like people hitting on him when they know he's with you, it feels like blatant disrespect.

• forehead kisses like a motherfucker.

• Billy telling you you're the calm he needs in life.

• he's adores you, kinda thing. you can do no wrong, kinda thing.

• he pulls you into his lap a lot. again, PDA ain't no worry to him. just no cuddling... but hanging on his lap with an arm around his shoulders is A-OK.

• in fact, he takes it a few steps farther and sees where the most public place you two can have sex is.

• so far, the movie theater was it but that was complicated and not a whole lot of fun considering you were freaked out the whole time.

• but you made it up to him by taking him up the water tower and going three rounds.

• sex is a staple in any relationship, okay? but Billy's never pressured you and always lets you drive the situation. he honestly likes spending time with you, so, if you don't fuck, he doesn't care.

• only your boyfriend is stupid hot and you look for reasons to jump his bones. mmh...

• and when he's feeling randy and wanting to dominate - LORD! the way that boy makes you feel should be borderline illegal. his touches like hot rocks against your skin; kisses from pillowy lips that tasted suspiciously like your chapstick; tongue sweeping over your neck and making your mind go a little fuzzy.

• you go with him on his 18th to get his skull tattoo. you make a joke about getting a matching one but he's really turned on by the idea. you consider it for a few months.

• maybe you do it, maybe not. but you do get a tattoo and Billy's almost humping the air when he sees it.

• nope, he's not letting you paint his nails but he'll give you his opinion on colors. in fact, he'll catch a little bit of an attitude when he notices the once cherry red color of your fingernails has turned into a midnight blue, asking, "your other boyfriend like this color?"

• "baby, i can pick out my nail color."

• "just usually ask me my opinion," he'd huffed.

• you ask him before you change it now.

• matching his and her sunglasses.

• listen to me: nobody touches a fucking thing in Billy's Camaro. okay? but for you... yeah, okay, he's actually okay with you changing the radio station. and adjusting the temperature in the car. and sure, he'd probably kick anyone else out if they tried this, but he actually smiles when your feet escape your shoes to curl under you in his passenger seat.

• you're the only person he trusts to drive his car, too. doesn't happen often but twice now, he'd gotten shitfaced at a party and it was your responsibility to get you both home.

• clingy drunk Billy. might even fuck around and pout at you. Definitely just wants you to lay with him, touch him, be close to him.

• he's not used to being loved so it's a learning experience for you both. but when his head is nestled between your shoulder and neck, breathing in your scent while a hand lazily traces along your belly, there's nothing he'd rather do than this life with you.

• you're the calm, he's the fury. you're the eye, he's the storm. you're the soft and smooth, he's the rough and jagged. but i'll be damned if this relationship isn't exactly what he needs.

• you're unyielding in your love and affection, and he's silently thanking God as you lay in his arms. his eyes might even well with unshed tears as he thinks over in his head every reason he doesn't deserve you, but every reason he'll selfishly keep you.

• oof, but Billy operates on a short fuse so when he's feeling touchy, you have to tread carefully. due to how close you guys are, you're usually the first line of defense he takes his irritation out on and that results in you ignoring him for days.

• but Billy's full of remorse; knowing Neil made him feel like shit and it wasn't fair to in turn take it out on you, just so you'd feel the same. so, he's going to Max for advice.

• i know, holy shit, right? it's just, he's not used to fucking shit up and then wanting to fix it - he usually just runs. but he's tired of running, so, he asks Max to help.

• and Max loves you and thinks Billy's a different person since meeting and dating you, so, she agrees. and the Hargrove / Mayfield siblings are concocting some plan.

• turns out, he doesn't need a big plan - he just needs honesty. he'll get you your favorite flowers and crawl up the oak tree in your yard, balance himself, and knock on your window.

• '80s parents and guardians are oblivious, so, nobody hears him sneaking in and out almost every other night. call that child safety.

• but it's been 3 WHOLE days since he's seen or kissed you, and poor baby is going a little crazy. he'll present the flowers and crawl into your bed, the pair of you dedicating that moment to talk about what happened and how to avoid it in the future.

• and Billy might let a tear or two fall, asking, "why do you forgive me so easily?"

• "because i can see you're genuinely upset by this, baby," you'd sighed, pushing a few curls from his forehead. "but that doesn't mean this can continue. you've gotta do better, baby, please."

• "for you? anything."

• "do it for the both of us, hmm?"

• it's not all sunshine and rainbows when loving a complicated man, and i can't even say it'll be worth the inevitable uphill battle. but it's definitely a love for the ages and you wouldn't want anyone else.

• only guy who's ever made you squirt and he's very proud of that. it's now a personal mission of his to see how many orgasms he can coax from you in a single night. current record: seven. yeah, that boy wants to be soaked, wow. absolutely mesmerized by you when he gets this kind of physical reaction.

• he's always proud of you, too.

• if you're a cheerleader, he's picking you up in his arms and telling you how flawless your routine was (even if you know there was a few missteps).

• if you're an athlete, best believe he's at every single game just to cheer you on. he might even keep record of your stats.

• you passed that stupid hard final in your AP History class? you're literally rushing down the hall, spying Billy, and when he sees you coming with a grin and that fucking packet clutched in your hands, he's stooping low to catch you in his embrace and spin you around, "aha! my smart girl! i knew you'd do fine. you were worrying for nothin', huh? that's my girl."

• and when he calls you 'his girl', your stomach's in a flurry of butterflies no matter how often you hear it.

• you have a deal that you can't call him this in public but he doesn't all the way hate when you call him 'baby boy'.

hmmm, maybe i'm projecting...

• Billy talks about taking you to Cali with him. and you go visit his grandparents during spring break.

• when i say they adore you, i'm talking they fucking adore you to the point they're asking 18 year-old Billy when he's gonna pop the question.

• makes him choke a little out of surprise but recovers, "soon. you'll be the first to know when it happens."

• you can't help but joke, "wouldn't i know first?"

• "nah, i'd tell them before asking you," Billy smirked, nodding at his grandparents across the table.

• he's just so fucking different when in a good, loving, healthy relationship. he's toxic as fuck - we know - but he can recognize his wrongdoings and attempt to rectify them.

• he's constantly offering you compliments about anything.

• "God, you look adorable in that skirt - c'mere."

• "damn, baby, i didn't know Playboy was lookin' for new models."

• "you forreal wrote this essay? baby, this is really well done."

• "hey, superstar."

• mmh, breakfast dates are his favorite. breakfast foods are his favorite, so, you've gotten in a rhythm to cook for him on the weekend mornings.

• oof, wait! the dates! he's broke as shit, cool. but he can make anything an interesting time by just being there.

• so, you go to a lot of parties together but usually duck out with a handle of vodka to head for the quarry overlook. he likes to hang out there, laid back on the hood of his car, looking up into the vast nothingness of the universe while contemplating life.

• Billy's a deeper than we give him credit for. again, it's all hidden under a mask of indifference and dickheadedness, but it's there!

• nature hikes 'cause ain't sit else to do in this small town!

• he'll take you to concerts out of town; diners; long drives; fairs in the summer; he might've even arranged with his neighbor to let you guys in their backyard to hang out with the litter of puppies their dog just had.

• honestly, anything he can think of to make you smile, Billy's finding some way to make it happen.

• trust and believe you can handle his anger and outbursts. you don't shut down, you stand strong while rationally, logically trying to navigate his feelings. when he crosses a line, you'll end the conversation and walk away because he needs time to cool off.

• you're usually very forgiving but not always with Billy - who needs to learn there's often consequences to actions and words.

• hard lesson to learn but he's an avid student.

• Billy offering massages. his hands are Godly and you never refuse.

• might sound really out of character, but he's a fucking professional at handling your period. know how he keeps a duffel at your place? he's got one for you, too, at his. but it's period supplies so you never got a moment worrying about it.

• he'll pour some rice in a sock, tie it up, heat it for a minute or so, and lay it against your lower stomach before crawling into bed with you. sometimes, cramps might make you curl up a little in pain, but Billy's there to get you pain killers, water, snacks if you want them, but especially just to hold you.

• and he'll tell you he read some article in a magazine about how sex is supposed to help with period pains and cramps. what a horndog, you know? don't tell him, but it helps.

• Billy's an ass man. i wish i could explain it but if you get it, you get it. if you don't, that's okay. 'cause he's been known to be titty guy but it's your ass, man. Billy Boy loses rational thought when his hands are all over you.

• he gets you new earrings because you often accessorize your outfits with them. it was a fun yet subtle way to show off originality and Billy finds himself looking through a few jewelry kiosks at the mall.

• you cannot convince me otherwise that Billy doesn't get you a necklace with his name on it. i won't hear it 'cause he's definitely the type to, okay?

• his leather jacket is your favorite because it's oversized and has a musky undertone to the usual smell of his cologne. he knows this and will drop it over your shoulders without needing to ask if you're cold.

• but hey - you're a big fan of wearing your man's clothes, okay?

• he'll come pick you up for school and see you walking out in one of his shirts and have to swallow from the way his mouth salivates.

• finding empty classrooms during lunch or study hall to fuck in.

• Billy doesn't understand 'aftercare' until you. he'll stand from the bed to light a cigarette and tug his boxers on, peaking over at you and noting the way your legs trembled. he'd realize and grab his shirt to clean you up before laying right back beside you.

• "did i hurt you?"

• "no, i'm okay," you'd assure; the feeling of his bare skin on yours something close to Heaven on earth. and the way his finger tips would drag over your bare body, unsure of the patterns he's drawing; but sinking further into his embrace? yeah - God sent.

• while you don't often fight, if you piss him off, he's a loose canon. you remind yourself he's feeling defensive and like he has to lash out, trying not to take things to heart. but he's still Billy, still a dickhead, and he's still going for the jugular.

• he won't look at you for days. won't pick you up, drop you home, give your flowers, kiss you, won't even fucking acknowledge you.

• fuck, it hurts.

• but he's the one then showing up one morning outside your house as you get your shoes on to catch the bus.

• knowing he was over his initial irritation, you'll cautiously approach the car as he gets out.

• "here to insult me a bit more?"

• and his hand is running through his hair, eyes sad and downcast, ringed with red to indicate unrest and emotional turmoil.

• "i'm so fucking sorry, baby, i really am."

• here's the thing - Billy doesn't know how to apologize. he doesn't do it often to anyone, so, the words never really formed naturally on his tongue.

• but with you, he's on the verge of panicked tears as he's word vomiting to you how sorry he is. he'd never stutters over his apology to you because you're the only person he considers worthy of his genuine remorse.

• and you definitely punish him by making him hang out with you, Max, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley and the other party members.

• no, you don't get him to play D&D with them - mostly because Max warned them not even to mention it.

• but he's a good sport and will let the kids get in his car, the others in Steve's, and might take them to the pool despite being off for the day. only because he knows he has to make it up to you.

• look, he's got some flaws, okay? but Billy definitely tries his best when it involves something he's genuinely interested in. you're the first person in X number of years to warrant this kind of feeling in him, so, he's adamant on keeping this love.

• i can fix him, your honor! give me a chance!

[otteranha]

This fandom needs that ole’ ran-outside-in-a-towel-and-accidentally-locked-myself-out-naked trope. Like… freshman year for the Party, pre-Spring break. There's construction being done on the room they normally hold Hellfire and the school won't give them an alternative spot. Dustin, Lucas & Mike convince Steve to let them have Hellfire at his house. Steve isn’t thrilled but he agrees.

Eddie isn’t thrilled either and he shows up early that afternoon to set up and get any gloves-off cruelty between him and Steve out of the way before the kids get there. Only to find that no one is answering the door. What gives, right?- if Harrington set this whole thing up to leave them all out in the cold, man fuck that. He goes around the back of the house, over the fence into the yard and finds Steve—

Steve was about to take a shower when he noticed the hot water wasn’t working. Calling the repairman would mean he’d have to talk to his dad, and he really wanted the hot water now and to talk to his dad never, so he grabbed a towel real quick and checked the water heater in the basement. No problem there. So he just popped out to check the water heater in the pool shed, because maybe it’s not just the house. And he didn’t put clothes on first because he thought he’d only be out there for a second. Except the door swung shut. And locked. His mom moves the hide-a-key periodically for “security purposes” and he has no idea where the damn thing is this month.

Not to worry. Steve's been sneaking out of his house since he was a whippersnapper. He can just climb in his bedroom window. Except he's been home alone for almost a month and hasn't needed to leave his window unlocked since he can come and go as he please. In other news the roof is covered in wet leaves and is much slipperier than usual. Fortunately he doesn't fall that far, nothing hurt but his pride (ok, and his ass will probably be black and blue for a while). Unfortunately when he fell the towel got snagged on the drain pipe and is now stuck on the roof. He'll have to climb back up and get it, then try to find some way back inside before the kids get there. But he needs a second- ok? So he flops back on one of the pool chairs, an arm draped over his eyes, nursing his injured dignity while he regroups.

And that's the scene Eddie Munson stumbles upon. Steve Harrington, sprawled out in all his glory like the goddamn Barberini faun. So a second boy takes a tumble on the Harrington property that afternoon, as the sight causes Eddie to lose his grip and his focus, and instead of vaulting the gate he topples forward over it and face plants on the cement pool deck.

"Shit!" "Fuck!"

"Sonofa- !"

"Holy shit man!" And so forth in that manner as Steve squawks in shock and covers himself. Then it registers who exactly the trespasser is and he abandons modesty and leaps, outraged, to his feet.

Eddie finds that in the face-plant he has bitten a noticeable bit off the tip of his tongue. Now he's standing, staring at a nude Steve Harrington, drooling blood all over his patio. If there's a classical statue of an Adonis posed with hands on hips looking wildly annoyed Eddie doesn't know of it. Any witty remark he could make about late September not being an ideal time for sunbathing au naturale is obstructed by his poor, bitten tongue, so Eddie has to settle for mere communication as he tries to ask Steve what the actual fuck he's doing?

"Came out to check the water heater and the door blew shut," Steve says sheepishly.

"Tho ou theck the plumbinth naketh?" Eddie raises an eyebrow.

Steve points to the roof. "I tried to get in through my window and slipped. Towel's stuck on the roof." A look of panic flashes into his eyes, "Wait- if you're here- what time is it? Oh shit, are the kids on the way?"

Eddie shakes his head. "I came by eahly tho thet uth." He holds up one finger, gesturing Steve to wait, then plucks a safety pin from his vest and kneels to examine the patio door. It takes him only a few minutes to finagle it open and he turns sliding the door wide with a flourish. "Entrez-vous," he asks gallantly, but it comes out "Enthreth-vouth?" and Steve just gives him a confused look as he stalks past into the house.

Instead of dashing up the stairs to dress Steve points Eddie toward the kitchen, while he snags a towel from the powder room in passing- not quite large enough, but better than nothing. Steve gestures Eddie to sit while he hands him a wet paper towel and wraps an ice pack in a clean dish towel. Eddie tends to his bloody mouth, though without the distraction it's an ordeal to keep his eyes from wandering over Steve's physique. Not good. It's not the locker room, no herd to hide amongst, no plausible deniability that he wasn't staring at anyone in particular. Because Steve Harrington is a Rodin, a Donatello, a goddamn Michelangelo. Steve Harrington is killing him. Killing him.

"You can set everything up in the dining room. I'll be upstairs," says the Rodin, the Donatello, the goddamn Michelangelo. "And keep icing that mouth. Last thing I need is for Mike Wheeler to decide he's leading this dog and pony show because you can't do your little incantations or whatever."

He turns and bounds for the stairs. Eddie watches him go. And yeah, that towel does not wrap all the way around. Not even close.

[muzsmoux]

MHA headcanons bcuz the show brings me a lot of joy

If you don't agree with them or they clash with canon that's ok just scroll on, peace and love on the planet earth and whatnot.

⭐Iida is straight but is openly into BL. He's up to date on new releases, mostly pg shoujo stuff. Except for one fantasy comic that is hella explicit at some points but he is VERY passionate about the lore and characters.

⭐Bakugo has Inosuke levels of androgyny going on. He would give Shouto a run for his money in the "class 1-A's resident prettyboy" vote that was held if he 1. wasn't too scary for people to vote for him. and 2. if he stopped scowling for like two seconds.

⭐Aoyama is some flavor of nonbinary but doesn't use any labels because he HATES them. He is an ✨experience✨, a piece of art up for interpretation.

⭐Pro hero Red Riot has a line of menstrual hygiene products with cool and manly packaging because he's very popular with transmasc people and wanted to give back something helpful and validating to them.

⭐Kirishima once called Bakugo his "brofriend" and he just about had an aneurysm.

⭐ Before they got together, Kirishima wrote half the valentine's cards Bakugou recieved anonymously because he "just had so many feelings it couldn't fit just on one card!!"

⭐Bakugou is a secret romantic. He hates talking about it because it's "bad for his image" but he has a big collection of shoujo manga and internally melts whenever Kiri does something soft for him like buying flowers or holding his hand in public.

⭐Aizawa regularly gets intrusive thoughts of becoming a househusband whenever he has a particulaly annoying time. Like after his 7th parent teacher conference of the day or after a full week of falling asleep in uncomfortable beds in seedy hostels he stares at the ceiling like "Hizashi is a celebrity. He has three jobs. What am I doing here? I love him. I can't cook but I could learn 😫"

⭐Kaminari hits on Bakugo's mom every chance he gets. Bakugo's tries to blow him up, Mitsuki thinks it's fucking hilarious.

⭐Allmight has a crush on Midoriya Inko but is scared to do anything about it because A. it might upset Izuku and B. he thinks he's too old and ugly for her.

⭐You'd think Midnight would be a bad teacher based on her general sexy nature but actually she's well loved because she's the only teacher who the kids trust with advice on relationships and intimacy, especially after the dorm system set in. She has time set aside each week where she's available for anyone to pop into her office and chat about whatever they're worried about. Aizawa is endlessly thankful for this because one time Todoroki asked him what a backshot is because he heard Sero make a joke about it and he's still healing from that conversation.

⭐Since both of their quirks are food based Sato and Momo often bake together. Sato's the master decorator, Momo buys good quality ingredients and is a beast at chiffon cakes.

⭐Denki can't swim. After The Incident in primary school where he almost electrocuted a whole swimming pool of people he's been scared to try.

⭐Kirishima has two moms. His birth mom had him at like 18 and his biological father wasn't ready for that yet. Her best friend immediately stepped up to help with the baby, and that's Kiri's mama now.

Thank you for reading!! I am incredibly late to this fandom but hey I'm having fun now so. Sick.

[absolutebl]

Welcome to Tumblr BL Fandom - Here’s Your Primer

memes, insider trading & obsession meta post

The Death Stairs 

They haunt us. These same stairs constantly pop up in Thai BLs and we worry that someone is going to die on them (or fuck on them, or both).

BL origin = unknown, we only recently started tracking them (but the actual origin of the death stairs is 99 Home Studio117, RPC6+JM3 ซอย รามอินทรา 117 Min Buri, Bangkok 10510, Thailand. It appears to be a house rented out for filming. Honestly? They should AirBnB that level of fame. I’d rent it, buy a cactus and a chili plant, just for the photo op.)  

Rain Makes BL Boys Sick

For which the only solution is a sponge bath administered by another boy with a bowl of water and a damp white towel.

We don’t make the rules, the BL gods do. 

origin of the rain=fever = cultural

BL origin for the sponge bath = 2014′s Love Sick

The gayest bridge in Thailand

The Rama VII Bridge has appeared in so many Thai BLs - boys kiss on it and in front of it... A LOT. 

BL origin = SOTUS 2016  

Honor the Crumbs

Side dishes given very little screen time always end up being everyone’s favorites (especially in the pulps). Also falls under side dish syndrome. This is mostly a Thai BL thing, since they’re usually the BLs featuring more than one couple. (Taiwan is getting there, tho.)  

BL origin = @heretherebedork

The Engineering Department is Gay (also Pink Milk) 

The hot Thai boy in the engineering smock (red or blue) is either gay or a chaos bisexual. There are no exceptions. 

BL origin = SOTUS 2016 

Korea’s BL bubble 

A world where queer is simply accepted and a hostile society doesn’t exist. ​

Origin, probably Strongberry’s 2017-2018 shorts, but best known starters are 2020′s Mr Heart & Wish You

Namgoong award for best wingman 

Supportive straight(ish) besties! Appear throughout BL history, but really reached peak awesome with Namgoong, so a collection of us just started saying “thank you, Namgoong” whenever this archetype shows up. 

BL origin, Light on Me 

Korea’s BL formula 

(1 short Kpop idol + 1 tall actor / random separation in the last half of the final episode) x a small cast = KBL (usually 6-8 episodes totaling under 2 hrs)

BL origin, 2015′s The Lover 

Korean male beauty ideals here. 

Korea figured out boys can kiss 

To be fair Strongberry always knew this and Just Friends? gave it to us in 2005, it’s just they forgot for a while. A long while. 

origin = Korean 2022 BL

speaking of... 

Dead fish kisses

This tradition carried for years by Japan’s light BL, early Thai BL like Love Sick, & then Korea. It took Thailand’s 2016 BL (specifically elder gods KarnNut & MaxTul) to start breaking this curse. Could be argued that Ohm in 2016′s Make it Right also paved the way (while BoomPeak exemplify dead fish kissing). 

origin = early 2000s JBL when it was still known as Live Action Yaoi 

Taiwan = the kings of high heat 

Taiwan always serves up the most consistent and authentic chemistry, kisses, and higher heat. Thailand has it as well, but isn’t as consistent about it. 

BL origin = 2017 HIStory franchise and every Taiwanese BL since (although Eternal Summer probably started it in 2006) 

Taiwan’s marriage equality 

Taiwan was the first to feature sanctioned gay marriage in a BL, the first to depict queer engagements - and they regularly like to remind us that it’s legal there. As they should. 

BL origin = HIStory 2: Right or Wrong 2017 

Thailand’s food = love

Lovers cook, serve, feed, and/or eat together. Always. At least something along these lines in every Thai BL. 

origin, well just Thailand in general (and Asia to be fair), but probably SOTUS & Love Sick 

Vietnam’s domesticity

Vietnam always depicts at least some of their characters in a home environment, with family life, adopted kids, and more.

BL origin = Tein Bromance Extra

Cactus baby (and chili plant younger sibling) 

Hilariously a cactus plant was deployed as a courting gift, spy device, and blooming representation of sexual awakening in MaxTul vehicle Manner of Death. Tumblr adopted that cactus baby. 

BL origin = Manner of Death 2021

What China Did 

Massive wholesale censorship curtailed/abruptly cut short multiple shows in progress in 2016-2017. Also resulted in rewriting and reshooting of those in production, and more weird and invidious things. This also showed up as a purge (and likely persecution) of Chinese queer vloggers on YouTube, the imprisonment of several danmai authors, and eventually the censored bromances we now get today. 

BL origin victim = Addicted, Advance Bravely, etc...

Japan’s lanes 

Japan’s propensity to lean in favor of either

sweet, campy, and very low heat live action yaoi shot in a manga style with HEA, or 

dark, gritty high heat queer cinema and pinks shot in an atmospheric style with tragic endings 

BL origin, Boys Love 2006 & Takumi-kun 2007 

History of Japanese BL here and the weeds of Japanese BL here. 

#In Strongberry We Trust 

Small, queer, Korean production house Strongberry had been producing short form pro-queer KBL successfully for years, long before larger studios picked BL up. But when they transitioned to long form in 2022, we were a little scared they wouldn’t stick the landing. #InStrongberryWeTrust became our mantra.

BL origin = Choco Milk Shake 2022 

Faen Fatal(e) 

A side character, usually an ex-girlfriend but occasionally an ex-boyfriend, whose sole purpose is as a plot device to drive a wedge between the leads, or cause jealousy. 

BL origin = Love Sick

The Thai BL Pulps

Very low budget BL with terrible sound, crazy soapy plots, and earnest acting.

BL origin = Make It Right 2016 (term coined by @heretherebedork​ & self) 

The Mame effect 

AKA #oh mame must you? 

The mameverse features great characters, killer actor chemistry, and higher heat combined with terrible damaging tropes and non-sensical plot devices.

BL origin = TharnType (although technically started in Love By Chance) 

The 2 Moons Curse 

When a popular BL franchise struggles to survive over one season and keeps having to recast the leads. 

BL origin = 2Moons original 2017 

Dread Episode 11 

AKA Doom of Ep 11

Explained here. 

Golden Rules of BL 

Never trust: 

a Thai trailer, 

a Viki Category, 

a Vietnamese sub, 

an MDL description, 

a Taiwanese title, 

Japan, 

or a BL made before 2014.

Origin = me over the years 

BLoundary Test: has the seme ever respected a single boundary?

BLechdel Test. 2 ukes discuss something that is not their seme(s). Also uke indicates actual interest in sex in a relationship.

(source)

okay what did I forget? 

[hxhhasmysoul]

idk what is with this fandom... the same people who hate sukuna and are oh so sad about gojou, also buy into what sukuna said to yuuji in this chapter... i guess maybe sukuna displayed gojou's level of comeback so they latched onto it. what can yuuji possibly do? how can sukuna be even defeated if gojou failed and kashimo failed.

since the beginning yuuji's shown superhuman physical abilities. plus amazing tactical sense and superhuman speed at which he learned things, especially all things jujutsu. but his most impressive and consistent ability has been his super reinforced soul capable of caging sukuna. and that soul did its job without him knowing how to influence it. now he's been given guidance. he also practiced by ingesting more cursed objects containing souls. he also showed that he can possibly soul swap.

also since the beginning sukuna has shown incredible superiority and detachment towards everyone. except for yuuji. he was ready to mock praise and tease everyone to get more entertaining fights out of them... except for yuuji. yuuji he bullies, diminishes him, tries to break yuuji's spirit. that smells like worry, maybe fear, definitely an attempt at psychological warfare. yuuji irks him, unsettles him.

jujutsu fights are about strength and cursed energy output etc, and so on, but they are also about compatibility as mentioned by gojou and nanami and mahito. also they are about planning and strategy. about understanding jujutsu and the soul, so yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. but also being able to understand your opponent as much as possible, their motivations, their behaviour, their techniques. this is why kenjaku and sukuna bested gojou because they both kept the fight on their own terms. kenjaku by not picking a physical fight at all and making it all about intrigue and cunning, sukuna by exactly tailoring his strategy to his opponent. this is also why gojou lost because even though he knew about the compatibility he didn't think that mattered in his case because he was him, he was gojou satoru, the strongest.

yuuji can win where those two lonely losers failed because:

a) he always performs best when he's fighting alongside others and he's not going in alone. being oriented towards others is the core of his character and it has always been like that. he's bested opponents stronger than him while learning and adjusting during the fight and the presence of others only spurns that on.

b) he's clearly going in with a plan, considering who he's going in with. and he mentioned before that he had a plan how to save megumi. he's been preparing for this. unlike some who decided to wing it...

c) he has a unique understanding of sukuna. and there's also been some hints that there's more to his connection to sukuna, some heian backstory. it's also possible that gojou was right and some of sukuna's technique rubbed off on yuuji, likely sukuna's true technique whatever that is. or at least yuuji has some understanding of it that he could use against sukuna.

d) there's something about yuuji that even sukuna senses and doesn't like. and one thing we can safely say about sukuna at this point, he's got expertise when it comes to these things.

e) yuuji was made specifically by kenjaku to imprison sukuna, and kenjaku is another expert in their field.

f) sukuna has ruined yuuji's life, has made yuuji question himself constantly, has given yuuji so much trauma and guilt, has taken so many people from yuuji. including megumi who yuuji might still hope to save. yuuji is uniquely biased against sukuna and uniquely motivated. gojou and kashimo had no emotional investment in sukuna apart from "senpai notice me i want to be one of the cool kids like you" and "senpai notice me i want to ride the belly mouth" respectively. yuuji has so fucking much more emotional investment. for him it's super personal on so many fucking levels.

this is why yuuji stands a chance against sukuna. this is why his win will never be an ass pull or main character magic. he's been meticulously built up as a character throughout the manga. if someone pays attention to the story, none of what i've written here is shocking to them.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Listen to your heart

PAIRING || Boyfriend!Dad!Young!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Mom!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || 6.3K

SUMMARY || You gave birth to your beautiful set of twins nearly two months ago, and it has been very difficult to keep your hands off one another. Though you're still afraid of being fully intimate with your boyfriend again, Tony is an amazing gentleman who will show you there is no need to worry about anything as he makes your first time one you will truly never forget.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || No powers AU. Young!Tony Stark AU. Kid fic. Established relationship.

WARNINGS || Reader is described as having tattoos. Use of nicknames (Sunshine, Love/My Love, Munchkins, Carissima). Insecure!Reader. Breastfeeding. Light angst if you squint.

SMUT || D/S undertones. Switch!Tony Stark. Lactation kink. Drinking of breastmilk (sexual). Mommy kink. Dirty talk. Praise. Begging. Edging. Hair pulling. Oral (F+M receiving). Fingering. Handjob. Deepthroating. Facial/cumming on the face. Cum swap. Thigh fucking. First time after childbirth. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Squirting. Cumming untouched. Multiple orgasms. Aftercare.

A/N || This idea has been sitting in my drafts for months now, but I am glad @ccbsrmsf1 gave me the last push I needed to finally finish it! Thank you for everything, from supporting me while writing and proofreading after it's finished, I owe this fic to you. Because of this, I want to dedicate this fic to you, dear Carol. I love you 3000, bestie! 💙

A/N 2.0 || I have incorporated writing prompt #1086 by @creativepromptsforwriting in this story, which I think is a perfect fit for this story and the love these two share. They have a huge part of my heart, and I love these two to pieces. 💙

EVENTS Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Free space +'Lyrics of her favorite song tattooed on her arm' Masterlist || @mcukinkbingo || Setting: a hotel room Masterlist || @multifandom-flash Compliments || I have just one thing to say

GIF: @ccbsrmsf1 || All graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist || AU Masterlist

It's been nearly two months since you gave birth to your beautiful twins, your daughter Orion and your son Hudson. It is like a whole new world opened up for you both when they were finally safe in your arms, and ever since then, you have been living on cloud nine with them in your lives.

But there's one downside to the fact that you've given birth, and that is that you and Tony cannot be fully intimate with each other yet, which is mainly a struggle for Tony. He loves to be buried deep inside you as he pulls every whimper and moans from your body. You know he's missing it, and so are you, but you're not ready for it and unsure how to bring it up.

You're seated on Tony's bed as you're trying to read a book, but you haven't turned a page in almost fifteen minutes, instead being zoned out for most of that time. He just walked out of the shower attached to his bedroom, water droplets dripping from his hair onto his broad shoulders before running down his muscled torso and back.

Usually, you would have been all over him by now, but not today, and it's not sitting right with Tony.

"Is everything okay, Sunshine? You seem a bit out of it tonight," he asks as he comes to sit down on the edge of the bed. He places his hand on your thigh before rubbing it softly with his thumb.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry, I zoned out for a moment," you tell him with a small smile, but it didn't reach your eyes.

"Is there something on your mind you would like to talk about?" he tries again, and you sigh before putting your book off to the side. Talking about it might make you feel better, so you decide to give it a shot.

"I'm scared to have sex again," you sigh as you close your eyes, embarrassed even to say it out loud, and as soon as the words leave your lips, you're starting to regret it - he probably thinks it's stupid of you even to have brought it up, to begin with.

"Why's that?" he asks softly, his brows furrowed as he looks at you.

"I-" is all you say before huffing out a sigh.

"I don't like the way I look ever since I gave birth, and I'm afraid of you seeing me the same way I see myself. I don't look anything like I did before I got pregnant, and now-" is all you can say before Tony grabs your hand to stop your ramblings for a moment.

"Can I say something, Sunshine?" he asks soothingly, and you nod.

"First of all, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and there's not a single thing that can change that. I mean, you carried our babies for nine months, and then you brought them into this world! You did that! I'm so proud of you, Sunshine, and like I said, you're even more beautiful to me now than ever before," he says enthusiastically, the love dripping from his voice.

He pulls you from your spot against the headboard to sit on his lap, and your gazes meet as he looks at you fondly.

"But most of all, you're the mother of my children, and there's nothing more beautiful than that. Seeing you be a Mom has made my heart feel so full of love and adoration for you. I love being a Dad, but I love seeing you being a natural Mom so much more," he says softly as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

"But I also want you to know I will wait as long as you need me to. And even if you're never ready again, that's also okay with me. Knowing I have you and our twins by my side is all I could ever wish for, Sunshine. I love you so much, and I always love you without a shadow of a doubt," he whispers before leaning in and capturing your lips with his, the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes now spilling over.

When you pull away, he brushes them from your cheeks with his thumbs, and a smile appears on your lips.

"What do you think of renting a hotel room for a night once you're ready? Somewhere with a phenomenal view, where we have all the privacy and alone time we could ever wish to experience our first time all over again?" he offers, and you nod immediately.

"It's a perfect idea, My Love, but now I want you to get comfortable on the bed. I want to thank you for everything you do for me," you say before cupping his cheeks and placing a soft peck on his lips. You get up to allow Tony to get comfortable, but not before removing the towel he was still wearing. You're not left disappointed at the sight.

His cock is already at half-hardness as he lies back, and it looks impressive. Not just in length but also in girth. The veins running along it have you drooling, and the way his tip is flushed a perfect red color has you clenching your thighs as well. He has an absolute monster of a cock, and you can't wait to get your hands and mouth on it again.

Before he gets a chance to say anything, you grab his cock, your fingers barely touching as they're wrapped around his girth. Your tongue licks along the light blue vein on the bottom of his length before you take his sensitive tip in your mouth to softly suckle on it. The taste of pre-cum coats your mouth, making you moan softly.

"F-fuck!" he groans out as your hand slowly works him up and down his entire length, and you hum in approval. His hips buck up in your hand when you squeeze him just the way he likes, and a strained moan escapes his throat, too. He's trying his hardest not to cum already, but it's tough as he looks at you, and you look back up at him with your big doe eyes.

"So beautiful," he whispers as his gaze meets yours, his knuckles gliding over the edge of your jaw as his lips curl into an appreciative smile. Meanwhile, you take more of him into your mouth, driving him to the edge of his orgasm once more.

His hips buck up into your mouth and throat as you slowly work more into your mouth, swallowing him down until he's not able to think straight for a little while, just like he wants it. It's not until your nose makes contact with his pelvic bone that a high-pitched whine leaves his throat, and you quickly pull off, afraid you've accidentally hurt him.

"Oh god, please keep going, 'm so close, Sunshine, fuck! 'M so-" is all he can say before you take him into your mouth again, suckling on his tip while your hand keeps working him at a steady pace, and his hips rut up as he's looking for more, needing just a little extra to be pushed over the edge.

Suddenly, everything goes very fast for Tony as your mouth pulls away, but your hand keeps working him while the other one softly tugs on his balls, which are so heavy and full of his cum. Your tongue is stretched out as his orgasm washes over you, most of it landing on your tongue, some ending up on your face as well.

"Good boy," you whisper before you crawl over his body, immediately pulling him into a kiss without swallowing his white gold, instead licking into his mouth to allow him a taste as well. He groans into the kiss as he tastes the salty and tangy flavor of his cum, but he's more than happy to swallow it down, too, together with you.

Once you're both fully satisfied and cleaned up, you get comfortable on top of your boyfriend, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. His fingers gently trace circles over your back as your face is nuzzled into his neck, and your breathing patterns slowly sync up as you both enjoy this moment.

That night, you and Tony sleep like rocks, and you're feeling very grateful to finally have told him what's been on your mind for a little while now. Even though you're not ready yet, you know it's the first step to being intimate with your boyfriend again, precisely in the way you're both craving so much.

It's been a few days since you talked with Tony about not being ready yet, and you can tell there has been a positive shift between you two. He's giving you even more love and attention than usual and is extra mindful of you.

Right now, you're standing in the kitchen preparing two bottles for your twins and talking to Maria about them when Tony walks in with a massive smile and a surprise behind his back. The last time he looked this giddy with excitement, he bought the cutest outfits for the twins, so you're curious about what he's hiding now.

"Hi, Sunshine," Tony says as he softly kisses your cheek, making you smile widely.

"Hi, My Love. What're you hiding from me?" you ask with narrowed eyes and a smile, and your boyfriend can't stop smiling from pure excitement.

"I wanted to surprise you with something beautiful, so I picked up a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers for you!" he says as he shows the large bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers. The butterflies in your stomach go wild as you feel very loved right now, and you can't stop smiling.

"Oh my god, they're beautiful! Thank you so much!" you say before taking them from him and pulling him into a big hug. His large frame enveloped you as he nuzzled his face into your neck, warmth radiating off his cheeks as you two stood there. Maria smiled at both of you while finishing the bottles for you.

"I love you so much, my beautiful Sunshine," Tony whispers after pulling away, his hands cupping your cheeks before placing a soft kiss on your lips that immediately leaves you wanting more. Your lips follow his when he moves away, and he gladly gives you a few more pecks before getting a vase ready for your sunflowers.

As soon as Tony turns around, your gaze crosses Maria's, and she immediately notices something's off. It's not enough to bring up immediately, but she notices it nevertheless. You give her a reassuring smile, which he reciprocates, and before you can say anything, Tony's already turned around with a vase.

"Alright, will this one be big enough?" he asks as he holds it out, and your attention is pulled back to him.

"I think so. Why don't we find out?" you ask before getting the vase and turning around. You're getting ready to put the flowers in when you suddenly feel a pair of large, muscular arms surrounding you and pulling you back. You close your eyes as you smile at the touch, your hand finding its place on top of Tony's as he hugs you.

"I love you, Tony," you say, slowly swaying back and forth. Your eyes are closed as you enjoy your boyfriend's closeness, and you don't notice Maria walking out of the kitchen with the bottles, ready to feed your babies.

Eventually, Tony lets you go to put the flowers in the vase with his help, and not long after, they have found their way to Howard and Maria's kitchen island, brightening up the room with their presence. As you head to the living room, you grab Tony's hand, who happily interlaces his fingers with yours before walking in.

What you see as you walk in has your heart melting. Howard and Maria are feeding your twins while they look at your son and daughter with an adoration that cannot be put into words. They're their entire world, and you pull Tony close to you at the sight of it.

"How're the little Munchkins doing? Are they hungry today?" you ask as you sit next to Maria, who is giving Orion her bottle. Orion looks at you as you sit down, and your heart melts even more as you think about the fact that you have put her and her brother into this world. Together with Tony, they are your entire world.

"They're doing amazing; both are drinking their bottles like two hungry babies, so I have a feeling they'll be having a very good nap after their feeding," Howard says as he keeps smiling down at Hudson. They're wearing matching onesies, making them look even more adorable.

You softly brush your fingers over Orion's cheek as you smile at her, and your heart feels very full as you look into your daughter's eyes. Your beautiful daughter, who - together with her brother - is the result of the love you and Tony share. It's bigger than you've ever felt before, making you feel complete in a way you cannot describe.

You don't know that Tony is looking at you with the same love while you gush over your daughter, and you, together with your children, make his world complete. Everything revolves around the three of you for him; as long as he has that, he's the richest man on earth.

Just when the twins are done and ready for a change, Maria pulls you aside for a moment as she burps Orion - Howard has already burped Hudson. He gives him a diaper change before his nap while Tony cleans the bottles and makes a snack for himself and you.

"Do you want to go somewhere for lunch tomorrow? I can tell something's on your mind, and I think you could use some one-on-one time without Tony or the kids," she offers, and with those words, it feels like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"I would love to," you say softly, and Maria nods in acknowledgment. Now that sleep threatens to take over, Orion gets a little fussy. It doesn't take long for the twins and their grandparents to be asleep in their bedroom, as they also decide to nap.

You and Tony have decided to make the most out of the situation for now. He has pulled you into his bedroom, and you're sitting comfortably on his lap, your hands around his neck, and Tony's hands lying on your hips.

He has pulled you into a deep kiss, his tongue gliding against yours in a leisurely pace between nibbling on each other's bottom lips or peppering kisses over each other's jaws and necks, careful not to leave marks that will be visible.

"Hmm, I know you told me three times, but can you say it one more time, please?" you ask Tony with half-lidded eyes and a dopey smile.

"I will say it to you as often as you need to hear it, Sunshine. I love you," Tony tells you, and an excited giggle leaves your lips before you pull him into another kiss. You two haven't been together for that long yet - your second anniversary hasn't even taken place yet - but the love is dripping off both of you.

"I love you too, Tony. Thank you for saving me," you whisper against his lips. Even though you don't think anything of it now, Tony will be thinking about it for a long time. However, right now, he's too busy with you, your soft, sweet mouth, and your beautiful body to care about anything else. That will have to wait for another day.

Maria has invited you to lunch with her and taken you to a beautiful diner where you would never expect to find her. Yet, she looks like she belongs there, and that's because she has been visiting there for years now.

As soon as you arrived—she was there before you because you were running a few errands before meeting Maria—she immediately started telling you some of her fondest memories of the place, and you could not get enough of listening to her talk. Maybe it's the faint Italian accent that still seems to linger or the softness of her voice, but something has you hooked on every word she says.

"Howard and I used to go on dates here all the time, especially at the beginning of our relationship. He used to help me with homework, and he taught me most of the English I know today as well," she says with a fond smile, and that's when a waitress comes over.

"Good afternoon, welcome to our diner! My name is Sophia, and I will be your server today," the woman says in a cheery voice, instantly lifting your mood.

"What can I get you two as a starter today? Coffee, tea, or a menu?" she asks. You both order a cup of tea and ask for a menu to see what they have on offer this time around.

"I'll be right back with them," she says before turning around and heading behind the counter. It's a relatively slow afternoon in the diner, which you appreciate, especially seeing what you want to discuss with Maria today.

"What else have you two done here, if I may ask?" you ask, curious to learn more about Howard and Maria and what they were like in their younger years.

"Hmmm... we shared our first kiss right outside this very diner. It was already after closing, and we stayed until the last moment we could. We had been holding hands the entire evening, and when we left, Howard pulled me close, placed his hand on my cheek, and kissed me. It was lovely, and I still can't believe he did that sometimes," Maria says with a blush on her cheeks, making her look adorable.

"And yeah, ever since then, we try to come here at least once a month to relive old times, and we always like to sit in the same booth as we used to. It's like nothing changed in all those years, and to this day, it feels like I'm falling with my husband all over again when he takes me here," Maria says with a broad smile.

You know the feeling all too well, as that is how Tony makes you feel. It must run in the family to have the Stark men be gentlemen.

"You know, Tony makes me feel like that, too. He already did before Hudson and Orion were born, but it only multiplied once he learned I was pregnant. He's so caring and sweet-" is all you can say before Sophia returns with your tea and takes your lunch orders. Both of you opt to go for an omelet with extra veggies, which sounds delicious to you, and that's when you can finally finish your story.

"As I was saying, Tony is so caring and sweet. Mindful, too. And that's also what's bothering me, I guess," you say as you stare at your tea, the leaves inside swirling around as your spoon spins in circles.

Maria doesn't say anything. Instead, she grabs your hand, squeezing in a comforting way, letting you know she's listening.

"How long did it take for you to be intimate with Howard after you had Tony?" you ask her, and if she was caught off guard by the question, she didn't show it.

"Do you mean how long it took for me to be ready to have sex with my husband again after giving birth?" she asks you, and you nod as you meet her gaze. You momentarily felt embarrassed, but you know it's unnecessary. She didn't judge you when she caught the two of you having sex early on in your relationship, and she's not judging you now.

"It took me longer than I thought it would if I'm being fully honest. Of course, it's different for everyone, but it took almost four months for me. It's a good thing Howard is a patient man, and I know Tony is a patient man as well," she tells you, and you believe her.

"Your situation is very different from mine, though, and there is no time limit on when you should have sex again after giving birth. Some women do it almost as soon as they can walk, and others take months, maybe even years, to build up to it again, and it's all okay. You don't need to feel rushed or like you must do it now; you can take it at your own pace. That's what is best for you both, Carissima," Maria finishes, and you're left momentarily speechless.

You reach out for her hands as you look at her, unsure what to say now, but that's okay. Neither of you feels the need to fill the silence, and the moment feels right.

"Grazie, Mami," you whisper, and Maria's face lights up at you speaking Italian. In all fairness, you haven't learned much yet, but you've been working on it to surprise both her and Tony. Maria's reaction is totally worth it, as she's practically glowing, and if you weren't already her favorite, you definitely are now.

After that, the conversation becomes much lighter as you start talking about your twins again when your food arrives. When you leave the diner, you're feeling a lot better, and this conversation with Maria has done you a lot more good than you thought it would. Now, all that's left to do is discuss it with Tony again before moving on to the next step, which you're looking forward to now.

Almost a month has passed since your conversations with Tony and Maria about not being ready yet, but last night, you had an entirely different one with your boyfriend. This led you to the restaurant you're currently sitting in. He is taking you out to a lovely dinner before taking you to a hotel room, where he is planning on pulling you apart in every way imaginable.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, My Love?" you ask as Tony is seated on the bed reading a book, and you walk out of the shower. Your hair is still dripping from the hot water, and your tattoos are on display since you're wearing only a towel around your body.

"You? Always," he says, the corners of his mouth curling into a sweet smile as he takes in your almost bare form.

"Thank you for being patient with me the past few months, as I know it hasn't been easy on you. But I also want to let you know your patience will be rewarded if you have me. I would love to take you up on booking a hotel room and spending an entire uninterrupted night together so we can make nothing but sweet love for hours on end," you say as you sit on the edge of the bed.

"A-are you sure, Sunshine? We don't have to rush-" "I'm sure, Tony. I want to have sex with you again," you say before pulling him close and giving him a promising kiss, your tongues sliding together to convince him of every last promise you can make.

"Okay, I'll make a reservation right now," he says as he pulls away, a deep blush on his cheeks as he gives you a love-filled look. Not even 10 minutes later, you're cuddled up in your boyfriend's arms while wearing his shirt, and that night is the best night's sleep you have had since the birth of your twins.

"Are you in the mood for dessert today, or do you want to be my dessert tonight?" Tony asks after you've both finished your main courses. You look at Tony with a shocked expression, but he's completely serious. He raises his brow in question, and you shake your head as a chuckle falls from your lips.

"I think you know the answer to that all too well, My Love," you say, and before you know it, you're on the bed in your hotel room as you're completely bare, while Tony is massaging your back while straddling you. He's completely naked too, and his cock is carefully wedged between your thighs. 

"God, I've missed you so much, Sunshine," Tony groans as he slowly works his hands over your back and shoulders, loosening every last knot while he ruts his hips with each movement, his cock being stimulated with every drag of his body.

"Feels so good, fuck!" he hisses as you clench around him, bringing him to the edge before letting go again. Moans tumble from his lips as he keeps working his length between your thighs, and he knows that if this already feels so good, he won't last long when he's buried inside you.

The warmth of your thighs combined with the soft moans as he nudges your clit occasionally have his head reeling, and he wants nothing more than to feel you around him again, but he also knows he has to be patient for that. He wants to do it right for your first time.

"S-Sunshine, 'm so close, fucking fuck! God, 'm so close too; please let me cum, 'm so fucking close," Tony begs as his moans and thrusts get sloppy.

"Cum for me, Puppy, cum for Mommy like a good boy," you tell him, and with those words, he pulls out from between your thighs before spreading them to expose your glistening pussy, and he works his cock over with his hand before he shoots every last drop of his cum over your soaked folds with a loud moan of your name.

Before you know it, you're flipped around with ease, and Tony is lying between your thighs as he licks every last drop of his cum from your pussy. The taste of it, combined with your arousal, has him going wild, groaning against your pussy as he buries his tongue inside.

Your hands have found their home in his hair as you pull him closer to you, his fingers digging into the plush flesh of your thighs as his tongue works over your clit as well as being buried deep inside your pussy, licking up every last drop of your arousal in the process.

As Tony keeps working his tongue in the best way possible, you rut your hips up against his face, chasing your high that is quickly building. All you can do at this point is moan uncontrollably, as not a single coherent sentence is coming out of your mouth as Tony goes wild between your legs.

It's not until Tony adds two of his fingers to your pleasure that you're almost falling over the edge, and you need one more little push to fall over. And he's more than happy to give it to you.

His lips attach to your clit as he sucks it with vigor, his fingers plunging in and out of you at a relentless pace that makes the filthiest of squelching noises. Before you know it, you're seeing stars at the edges of your vision, and you're squirting all over Tony's face and the bed with a scream of his name, his hair being pulled hard as he works you through the height of your orgasm.

You're a panting, boneless mess once you finally let go of your boyfriend's hair, but he doesn't mind in the slightest - he came at the same time as you when you squirted for him.

"Good girl, you're doing so well for me, Sunshine," Tony praises you as he rubs your thighs until they stop trembling from the intensity of what you've just gone through. He peppers soft kisses all over your stomach as he makes his way up, but before he reaches your face, he makes one stop: your breasts.

You only breastfed the twins once today, and you didn't pump at all. Instead, you opted to leave it for Tony so he could satisfy his need to drink from you as well. With a soft groan, he latches onto your nipples, and within no time, he can taste the first squirts of your milk on his tongue.

"That's it, drink all of Mommy's milk," you whisper while you're coming down from your high, and all Tony can do is moan softly while rutting his hips against the mattress, despite being so sensitive after cumming twice like that.

While Tony drinks your precious milk, you let your fingers glide through his hair, and you both feel very content in the moment. The satisfying feeling of your boyfriend drinking, combined with the orgasm he just pulled from you, has you dozing off in no time, and Tony decides just to let you nap for now; you're going to need your strength for later.

It takes you a while to wake up from your nap, but as soon as you do, you feel Tony pulling you against his chest. His long fingers are softly tracing over the lyrics of your favorite song tattooed on your arm, making you giggle at the ticklish feeling.

"Welcome back, Sunshine. How're you feeling?" he asks between soft kisses on your shoulder and neck. A smile dances on your lips as you revel in the soft touches, and you open your eyes before turning your head, allowing him to place a few kisses on your cheek, too.

"'M feeling good, My Love. Thank you," you tell Tony before a yawn escapes, and he chuckles. 

"You're cute when you yawn, you know that?" Tony asks playfully, and you can't help but smile as you turn around, now fully facing your boyfriend.

"That might be true, but nothing is cuter than when our Munchkins yawn, to be honest. The newborn scrunch and the yawns melt my heart every time, and I cannot get enough of it. I wish they could forever stay as small as they are now," you sigh as you think about your twins.

"You're right. I'm still so fortunate to have had the honor of becoming a Dad with you by my side, Sunshine. I never thought it would happen, but somehow, with you, it feels right. Like we're right where we are supposed to be, and exactly with the person we're meant to be with," Tony tells you as his fingers glide over your arm and side before finding this place on your hip.

"And maybe one day we can have another one. Or two. Or five. I'm not picky about the amount," he says, and you laugh at his comment. Your heart feels like it's about to explode from pure love, and you cannot thank your boyfriend enough.

"I would love to have one, two, or five more kids with you, Tony. As long as I have you by my side, I know nothing can happen to me - to us. You're the love of my life, and I am grateful to have a family with you," you tell him as a smile tugs on the corners of your lips.

You lean forward to place your lips on your boyfriend's, and he slots his lips together with yours perfectly. The kiss is soft and slow, as you two have all the time in the world tonight. There are no crying babies to wake up to in the middle of the night, no feeding schedule in the middle of the night - just you and Tony in your little bubble.

Eventually, Tony pulls back just enough to roll you onto your back and position himself over your body, your face on the same level as he looks at you with nothing but love. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning down and capturing your kiss in a bit more of a heated kiss this time, leaving you breathless.

"Tony, please," you beg softly as your hands glide over his biceps, and he smirks at you before shifting his weight and grabbing his now fully hard cock again. He pumps it up and down a few times before spreading your thighs a little further, making sure there's enough room for him between them as he lines up with your entrance.

"Are you sure you're ready, Sunshine? We can stop at any time if you're not okay with it," he says, but you nod. You're more than okay with it and want to be intimate with your boyfriend again. You want to have sex with your boyfriend again.

"Take a deep breath for me, Sunshine," Tony whispers against your lips before kissing you softly, and you chase his lips as he pulls away with a smirk. As you take a deep breath, Tony slowly pushes in, and it's like coming home for him.

It's like having been on vacation for months and finally coming home to the one place he missed the most. He has always loved to be buried inside you, but now it feels like absolute heaven to him. With slow thrusts, he works his cock into your soft, velvet walls that suck him in deeper with every movement.

"T-Tony," you moan once he bottoms out, and he has to clench the sheets in order not to cum right away. Now that he's finally where he belongs, he doesn't want to ruin it by shooting his load right away, though he knows he won't last long. With every drag of his cock in and out of your body, your moans start to mingle, and your breaths become ragged as you both are quickly climbing to your highs.

"You feel so good around me, Sunshine. I missed your sweet, soft, warm pussy so much. Been dreaming about her wrapped around my cock, been cumming untouched so many times, and it has been worth it every single time," he tells you between thrusts and with a panting breath. His words only spur you on further as your orgasm is building, and you're on the edge of release.

"Cum with me, Tony, 'm so fucking close," you ask him, and he just nods before picking up the pace. Your foreheads are connected as a thin layer of sweat adorns your bodies, and you pull Tony in for a last, deep kiss as you officially fall over the edge together.

Your walls are clenching and milking his cock as he spills his cum inside you with a moan that you swallow right away. You're both trembling from the intensity of the orgasms after months of not having sex like this, but you're glad to finally get back into the routine of it. You missed it - but most of all, you missed Tony.

"I have just one thing to say, My Love. It's good to be back," you say before bursting out in laughter. Tony agrees before falling into a laughing fit, closely followed by you. For the next fifteen to twenty minutes, both you and Tony are unable to catch your breaths because as soon as you look at one another, you burst out in laughter once again.

Once you two are finally able to look at each other without bursting into laughter, Tony gets up to draw you both a bath, and he makes it extra special with a few candles and your favorite bath bomb, combined with a bottle of your favorite non-alcoholic sparkling wine and two glasses.

"Ready for your bath, m'lady?" he asks as he stands by the foot of the bed, his hand stretched out to guide you to the large tub. You happily let him show you the way before he helps you get in and pulls you close. He pours both of you a glass of sparkling wine, and you both toast to a perfect night together.

"Thank you for doing this, Tony. I love you so much, and I can't wait to see what the rest of our lives together will be like," you tell him before kissing him softly and then bringing the glass to your lips. The liquid is cold but smooth as it goes down your throat, and you hum appreciatively.

"I love you too, Sunshine," he says, and the rest of the night is spent either in the bath cuddling and feeding each other pieces of fruit and chocolate or wrapped up in bed as you're both overlooking the New York City skyline.

However, when the following day arrives, you're more than happy to head home and see your twins, Howard and Maria. As much as you enjoyed the night to yourselves, you can also feel yourself craving some attention from your beautiful babies.

"Ready?" you ask Tony, and he nods. You swing open the door to the living room, and both Howard and Maria are giving the twins a bottle. Hudson drinks from his light blue bottle, and Orion drinks from her light pink bottle. Their outfits match their bottles.

They're dressed in matching outfits again, making them look adorable. But the cherry on top? Seeing Howard and Maria falling in love with them just a little more with each passing moment. They are the best grandparents your twins could ask for, and this moment shows just that.

Tony pulls you into his side as you stand in the doorframe to look at them, not wanting to interrupt their little bonding moment. Seeing your in-laws fall in love with your babies is something you never imagined, but now that you see it, you never want it to be any other way.

And once you're holding your first grandbaby, you know you will look at them the same way they are looking at Hudson and Orion.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

TAN IS NEW

Hello, fellow associates, I, local deranged man, bring you (by request of @ayansbff who said I should "go make a post and patent it fr." thank you, Naga <3) once again a theory as insane as whatever has been going on in the ASOIAF fandom in the last 10 years (but no, I'm not here to tell you Tan is a horse or New is a faceless man).

For this week's episode: Tan is New (but with some spice).

Pls beware, this will require a certain level of "bear with me", ok? Ok.

Also: long ass post, guys. Be prepared.

So, 1st things 1st: New is obviously studying abroad.

This would mean that, in all the episodes we've seen of the flashback, we wouldn't have seen New. Because he's literally in a different country (cue theory: New is Mhok working as a cook in Hawaii ksksksk /j).

Nevertheless, in the latest events of the past storyline, Non has just gone M.I.A. Which is definitely something you'd tell the kid's brother about. I'd be pretty pissed if I was New and no one fucking told me about my brother vanishing.

(I think it could definitely be argued that their parents might try to hide the whole getting involved with money laundry and even the pedophilic child revenge porn sex tape on Twitter thing, especially their mother. bc, considering their treatment of Non this episode, it would definitely cross my mind that they'd think something along the lines of "New shouldn't be worried about what his fuck up of a brother is involved with, he should just focus on his study". And idk if Thailand's national news would arrive to New in the US just like that (maybe, maybe not, I won't try to speculate too much, I think it's too much of a wild card). YET, I still think, regardless, they'd have their limits even if the rest was true and they'd tell him about his brother being literally MISSING. So yeah...)

So back on track: sure, the police "think" Non has run away with Keng

Or, was convinced by Tee's uncle to accept that storyline

but Non's parents don't believe that shit

("They're TRYING to make our son LOOK LIKE" not "They think our son HAS")

And I think the same feeling could've been passed to New by his parents or just by New himself. But even if not, I think it's pretty reasonable to assume he'd come back to Thailand after that news. Like, if my brother was missing, I'd feel pretty bad, my parents would feel pretty bad and I'd want to go back home and be with them a bit, follow things up close, at the very least.

So, assuming that's true, it's not weird to presume New could be back in Thailand by the time The Hidden Character (the film Non wrote, not the BOC reality show thing) airs. Which would lead us to:

Now, I've seen people say it's Tan, I've seen people say it's White, I've seen people say it's Bible (?)... To me, that's Tan. The voice that calls "Phee" seems to me that's Mio's voice and the person we see in the door, albeit he does resemble Bible, reads to me as him as well.

Besides, we see him being introduced to the class in the ep.9 preview so, yeah, it could be to throw us off, but I genuinely think it's just bc it's Tan.

Regardless, even if not, Tan will appear next episode. So... There's that. Question is: why?

We see both Tan and Phee moving to the gang's class next episode, which the gang points out as "weird". Now, idk why it would be weird to see people change schools in 12th grade but fine, I'm not gonna argue, maybe they know something I don't. Ig you could argue it's bc it's the last year but I'd say people have issues all the time (being the last year of school doesn't change that) and people also move houses all the time. So I wouldn't question it but ok. Moving on.

We know Phee has a connection to Non (as his ex-boyfriend) but we don't know why Tan would be there too. Sure, we can argue Phee has to have friends. But, ngl, if my friend asked me to move schools bc he wants to find out what happened to his bf who mysteriously disappeared, I'd politely decline. I'd support him in his endeavours, of course, but I wouldn't change my entire life for it. I could even go as much as to help him befriend them and hang out with the fuckers but I wouldn't move schools, I think.

So Tan must have a bigger motive, right? And what bigger motive than being the brother of Non, am I right?

Furthermore, we have to consider legal matters. They're all minors. Phee's father, of course, knows about Phee being, at least, friends with Non. And, even if he told him to stay out of trouble and that he himself would not go around poking in the business for Phee's own safety, I think he'd be okay with Phee moving schools for grief reasons (a.k.a being close to Non because that was his school) or even bc he knew Phee was trying to talk to his friends (I don't think he suspects the kids too much and honestly that's a terrible lack of sight on his behalf but, I mean, they're kids, I think it's fair to assume they're innocent).

But what about Tan? Assuming Tan is not Non's brother, would his parents let him move schools to the school where all those nasty kids who keep appearing on the news study??? I don't think so. Sounds dangerous. Things change, of course, if Tan is not actually Tan but New.

Non's parents, despite their obvious lack of parenting skills, care about him. He's their son. They'd want to know what happened. And, sure, New getting involved would be terrible for them (bc he's their son and clearly the favourite child and god forbid he wastes his potential studying there bc of Non's failures AGAIN), but if New specifically requested that, would they go against it? Would they go against their talented son and his show of altruism and love for his brother?? Especially when the police are not doing anything and it's just trying to close the damn case??? I don't think so.

Thus: Tan is New.

"But what about his legal name???", I hear you say. "If they're siblings they'll have the same last name!!" And yeah. That's true. Especially in Thailand where most surnames are exclusive to a singular family. But I thin- "What about the age gap??? New is older than Non!! His mom even refers to him as Non's phi!!!" Yes. I know. That's where the spice comes in:

NEW IS ADOPTED.

There, I dropped the bomb. This would mean that, maybe, his legal name wasn't changed from what it originally was. Sure, it could've, since he's now part of a different family but they also could've kept the original surname. Which is likely if New wasn't adopted in a normal fashion.

We have to consider how poor Non's family seems to be. Whether that's a new situation or it has always been like this we don't know. But that's something. Now, I'm not Thai nor do I live in Thailand but from what I read, income does factor a lot into whether or not a family can adopt a child (at least in theory). So I'd assume a poor family would struggle with it. Nevertheless, it seems Thai law puts a lot of value into family ties with the child so, maybe New was someone else's child originally like of a brother or a sister of one of Non's parents. Or maybe something else entirely, I don't know. I don't think it matters that much.

"That still doesn't explain the age gap though. Tan is only 2 months older than Non!!"

Well, that's still older. Would that qualify him as "phi", idk? Both Pimpa (Non and New's mother) and Non refer to him that way. But maybe that's just another way for the series to tell us there's a ver clear hierarchy between these brothers and Non comes second. Idk. (if you're Thai or know Thai culture well and would like to add input here, pls do)

"WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURES, DANTE???"

Ok, yeah, I know. They make a compelling case.

(I took the liberty to brighten them bc OMG WHY IS THIS SHOW SO DARK????)

And yes, in the picture further to the left it does seem like they have a huge age gap but also, in the picture right next to it, it doesn't seem so (in fact the kid in blue seems about the same age in both pics, only the other one doesn't). So maybe the kid in pic one is not Non, it's some other kid (could be, especially considering he's wearing blue and, as the fandom's most dear colour theorist @shannankle has pointed out on a lot of posts but most especially this one: Non's colour is red). Or maybe it is one of them and they just grew up at different paces, idk. It happens, man.

TBH I'm not greatly concerned about the pics. What I am concerned about is the narrative implications of this. That his parents's (and, as previously established, especially his mother's [who is the most present parent in his life, as stated by the parents themselves in ep.8])

favourite kid is the one who isn't even theirs by blood. That their favourite son is the one that is not actually their son (I obviously do believe adopted kids are as much people's kids as biological ones, family is made not inherited, but I mean this as strictly talking about the blood relations of these people)! That no one ever loves Non enough to actually save him from doom (bc, like a fairytale princess, the thing that could prevent Non's demise was love).

If his peers had loved him enough he wouldn't have felt the need to cling to that awful gang. If Jin had loved him enough he would've helped him get away from Tee in this episode, at the very least. If his parents had loved him enough, they would've prevented him from falling prey to so many people or, at least, would've been trustworthy for him to talk to and helped him get out of the situations he was getting himself into.

This would also play well with the character's names:

Non. That which/whom isn't.

Who isn't seen, who isn't heard, who isn't loved, who isn't perfect, who isn't who people expected him to be, who isn't the gang's friend, who isn't his parent's perfect son (not blaming him but that's how they see it), who isn't the boyfriend Phee hoped he would be (not blaming him for the sexual assault he suffered, just seeing it through Phee's eyes, pls don't misinterpret).

New. That which/whom is fresh, original. That which just arrived.

Who is a prodigy, a talent, one of a kind. Who is so different from Non and his "crooked ways". Who arrived at the family later. Who just arrived in Thailand, who just arrived in Non's school. Who is a new person, who has a new identity, who has a new life goal.

So, yeah, it is a bit crazy and depends on a lot of circumstantial and potential facts that have not been hinted towards AT ALL by the show. And I recognize that. But I think this is what is fun about theories and speculation and, even if this is not true (likely), I still had fun crafting this and showing it to you guys. At the very least it's entertaining and keeps us thinking.

Pls feel free to add stuff or question stuff in this post, I'd love for us to work together as a community for our little murder gays show. Hehe.

Also, I'll leave you a question myself: if this is true, does it mean Phee and Tan are working together as the killers, only one of them is killing or neither is committing murder? 🤔

[tdalejandro]

Hey. Serious post. Trigger warning for sexualization of minors.

Yes. This is about Scepterno. Of course it's about Scepterno. I am not going to censor his name, because everyone should know what is going on with him.

He has responded to my post about him, where I said he was actively talking about Alenoah nsfw. I am going to respond to that.

Let's talk!

"i have seen the Posts and im laughing very hard HAHAH not only is Noah a fictional character, he is canonically 19 in the show. and is around my age. even if he werent.... i dont care. cuz he's fake. i can do whatever i want to him because hes not real. yall need to go outside and find some real problems to talk about. this is just plain sad !!!"

This is a serious issue. You want to know why? Because it has been proven multiple times that fiction DOES in fact affect reality. This is a very serious issue. The Total Drama Fandom has a lot of kids in it. Total Drama is a show for children. Children can find your very public blog, see you talking on public about alenoah nsfw, and they will normalize it. You wanna know how I know this? Because I've experienced this myself! Children stumble upon things that they're not supposed to see! You are coming into a space that is filled with minors, because this is a TV show for CHILDREN, and you are talking about these minors characters in a way that is messed up. I am scared for the minors that will see your post.

"PLEASE. guys. please. grow up. im begging you to stop worrying about the imaginary rights of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. genuinely. for you own mental health. please find real issues to worry about in life. have fun. stop torturing yourself with drama that doesnt matter. at all. youre going to make fandom an absolutely miserable place if all you do is scream and tantrum over what other people do with what are essentially TOYS"

I am worried about the the fucking children. About the VERY REAL children. And you know what? "Stop torturing yourself with drama that doesnt matter." Then why even address it in the first place? If it doesn't matter, why make a long angry post about it? Fandom is supposed to be a fun place. Fandom is supposed to be where you go and talk about your favorite show and post little things that you think about the media. Me "screaming" and throwing a "tantrum" is because you are coming into this space and making it a nasty place to be. Minors are not safe with you in the space.

"you do not care about morality you care about getting attention and feeling more powerful by bringing others down."

Here's my take. People have immoral thoughts about things. That's part of being human. But when you act on said thoughts, and post about it on the internet on your very public blog where everyone can see when they look you up, and you don't even have it tagged or anywhere stated on your blog that you don't want minors following, that's the part that I am shaming. There is something wrong with you for you to post something like that, and not even try to hide it from minor's eyes. I care about the people in this fandom. I am trying to keep people safe from people like you.

And now, the tags.

"I draw [noah] short because size difference is sexy and noah has short king energy."

Height headcanons are fine. But the fact that you are brining size difference into this? A kink? Yes, you are an adult, I'm a fucking adult. We have things that we are into, but you bringing it into this space where children are, that's where the problem is. You are not tagging it, you are posting it on your very popular and public account, where I do not doubt for a second that minors follow you.

"I want you to really self reflect on why your so quick to see a gay man and call him a predator"

I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOU WERE GAY.

I am gay myself. I am not calling your a predator for you being gay. I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT. I am calling you a creep for fucking talking about alenoah nsfw! I am calling you a creep for drawing nsfw of minors! I am calling you a creep for drawing incest art! Using this "It's because I'm gay" defense, it doesn't fucking make sense! No where have I ever said you're weird because you're gay. You are a fucking creep for talking about alenoah like that.

I am begging everyone to unfollow, block, and get this person off the platform. They are not welcomed here.