#this is what I get for being inactive I miss things in my inbox like THIS

[monikashinswife]

Hiiiiiiiii! So i love all your monika fanfics!!! Pls tell me there are still more to come!!!

But I would like to make a request for a fanfic of Hyowon 😭 pls im so deprived of her! Like the fem reader is an actress in hollywood but staying with Hyowon in korea and she goes on an instagram live and everyone is surprised. It also shows how sweet, caring, thoughtful and overprotective lip j is towards the reader.

Thank you so muuuuuch!!!

"The Korean"

(Lip J x Hollywood Actress! Reader)

・❥・time for our Sooni! been dropping few updates cause I think I'm gonna be inactive because school's starting again. Anygays, enjoy darlings!<3 Request inbox is open anytime<33 ⋆ ★

Flashes of the cameras and the overwhelming voices of the paparazzis triggers me, but like always. I have nothing to do. They are doing their job. But why is their job this horrible?

I understand that when you are a well known name. Paparazzis will follow, but doesn't make it less comfortable. They are still invading someone's personal space.

Fortunately, I got along with some of them. But it doesn't mean that this doesn't bother me. Just then, one of the paparazzi asked while I am walking towards the entrance of the airport.

"Where are you going? Are you gonna film another project?" He asked quickly. And I answered them robotically but still politely as I try to squeeze myself through many paparazzis.

I thank the guards for helping me. As much as I love being an actress. It's still very overwhelming especially now that I just finished another film that had me mentally challenged.

Going to South Korea would be my rest and escape. That country became my second home when Hyo Won took me there few years ago.

It became my home because it was hers. And because she is there.

I quickly became overwhelmed and noticed myself tearing up because of what just happened. I didn't know how I got to the plane but I'm glad I did. I sigh in relief as I look at the mesmerizing sight.

In order to distract myself I decided to read my book for a while. I was so immersed with the story that I forgot to message Sooni before we boarded. I figured that I'll do it when the plane landed.

I took some photos and continued reading the book that Hyo Won gave to me. I can already feel the stress leaving, I got so invested to the story that the flight felt like a few minutes.

Before I knew it, I'm already in Korea. I smiled as I walk to the airport with my suitcases and phone in hand. I decided to post some pics for my fans.

I continued walking after I posted, trying to find somewhere to eat before I messaged her that I'm already at the airport. But Sooni knows what time my arrival so she'd be here soon.

"Honey!" My head almost snapped because of how quickly I turned around when I heard her voice. "Sooni!" I giggled when I saw her running towards me. I immediately open my arms to be hugged by her.

"I missed you so much." I mumbled against her neck. She rubbed my back while kissing my hair. "I know, but you're here now." She comforted me softly. I nodded against her before parting our bodies.

"Let's go?" She urge softly when she noticed people recognizing us. I nodded and she helped me with my luggage. She drove us to her apartment, during the car ride, I was quite worried because of the silence.

It was comfortable yes, but my mind's making me think things. "Hey... you alright?" She must've noticed my internal battle. She put her free hand on my thigh, caressing it to bring comfort.

"Hmm?" I snap out of my thoughts to look at her concerned eyes for a moment. I hold her hand and bring it to my lips to assure her that I'm fine.

We reached her house. And she helped me get settled. She toured me around first, "where's the guest room honey?" I asked, I noticed her change of emotion.

"Here." She lead me to the room, opening the door for me. "Here's the guest room." I carefully watch her, noting how her voice suddenly sounded so distraught.

I chuckled before wrapping my arms around her neck. She tried to avoid my eyes by looking everywhere, "What's wrong?" she reluctantly turned to look at my doe eyes.

"It's just that-" she stopped herself, but I urge her by bringing my hand to cup her cheek. "I don't want you to sleep here." She hides her face in embarrassment.

"Just say you miss me." She tried to get away from me when I teased her. But before she could go anywhere, I hug her from the back.

"Stop~" annoyance can be heard in her voice, "Aigoo~ you baby" I make her turn around while my arms are still around hers. I missed this so much.

"I asked because I wanna know where I'll put my things." I explained and that made her loosen up before smiling widely.

"Ok!" She avoided me once again by taking care of my things. I laugh as I watch her set my things quickly and dragged me out of the guest room.

The entire day was spent really nicely, we cuddled on her couch and catch up on things and made plans for tomorrow.

I am laying on our shared bed, casually browsing through my phone. I knew that it was probably not a good idea to scroll through comments. But I did, I scroll to the comments on my latest post.

Luckily, it was all good. Fans are saying that they missed me already and and I thought it would be a good idea to go live for a quick update.

"Oh hi everyone." I wave my hand as I was trying to find a comfortable and nice position so I could record myself properly.

"How's everyone?" I read the comments, and they did not disappoint like always. They are so dear to me.

"Flight's good, some problems with going to the airport though." I updated them enthusiastically. I interacted with them. Joking and asking them things and vice versa.

"How's the korean?" I read out loud without thinking, I laughed as I realized the question. "It's been great." I answered carefully. I didn't even noticed Sooni entering the room. Not until she laid on top of me, her lower body on the bed and her arms wrapped around me.

She rested her chin on my chest while looking at me lovingly. Thinking that I'm talking to my friend. In instinct I played with her hair while reading the comments.

She adjusted and buried her face on my neck for a moment. I put the phone down when she reach for my lips. I cup her face our lips dance against each other passionately.

We made out, missing moments like this because it's really been a while. "Are you live?" She asked when we parted. I nodded and reached for my phone. The comments going wild because of our interaction.

"I'm screen recording"

"Did anyone heard the sounds? Or it's just me👀"

" the Korean is doing really great~"

We read the comments and look at each other with straight faces before bursting out of laughter. "That's gonna be my new nickname" Sooni said, shaking her head in fake sadness before burying her face on my neck again.

"My poor Sooni." I purred, teasing her. I constantly teased her during the live. We're both answering questions while Hyo Won is feeding me.

She casually fed me while I answered the questions that is directed to me enthusiastically. Hyo Won expresses her love through actions.

We took turns feeding each other, we talked with the fans. Even taking turn holding the camera, but when she noticed how it's hard to find a stable angle.

"Let me, love" she ask for the phone, then she took a tripod so it's less hassle. I am watching her endearingly as she sets up the phone.

Once it's done, she went back to her place. She's behind me. Her chin on my shoulder while her hands are wrap around me.

We continue the live like that. The fans took note of everything. For sure this would go big and some of them approving and accepting our relationship.

They were shocked because of the different sides of us are revealed. And they were the ones to witness it raw. They realize how both of us are being ourselves with each other and are happy that we are happy.

𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪

(not proofread and sorry for the ending. I am sleepy already)

[naffeclipse]

Haunting your inbox again with another question about a sleuthing jesters series :)

In No Small Favor, I’ve always been curious about a few things. How quickly did word spread in the underworld about Moon getting shot? I’ve been thinking about that one mini drabble you wrote about how Eclipse would patch up Sun if someone nearly destroyed him to earn the mob boss’ favor. So did he plan to intervene before Moon’s condition became irreversible? (Though that begs the question of what really would be considered irreversible, and Sun did go for awhile without a working celestial wire at the end of the series.)

Also, what was Eclipse’s reaction when his goons passed on word that the vigilante was asking for him? Did he actually think they were considering joining him, or had he already put two and two together that they were looking for him on behalf of Moon? If it’s that latter, I could see how he might view that as an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone: save Moon and get the vigilante in his debt.

One more thing! Is Balloon World considered his domain, or is it just a general seedy area where mobsters can use the back rooms as they want?

Never mind, I just thought of one more question djjflskdkd XD Did you ever have any lore/ideas about DJ Music Man’s role/character in the series? I know he doesn’t show up in it, but I wondered if you had some notes or thoughts about his interactions and relations/dealings with the underworld.

Hope you don’t mind the question(s) haha <3

Lumi, you are welcome to haunt my inbox anytime you feel, my ghostly friend ♥

Eclipse was aware that Moon had been injured—what he wasn't aware of was the extent of his injuries. He knew Sun would tend to their brother, but as the days passed, Eclipse would have grown more aware of their absence and would have investigated himself if the vigilante hadn't intervened. (Celestial wires ceasing to function for long periods of can lead to permanent damage even after being fixed/replaced. Much like falling into a coma, it can be very difficult for an animatronic to power back on after a long period of inactivity.)

Eclipse was certain the vigilante had finally begun to see things his way (it was inevitable, and this is the easy way for them) so that's why he's a bit, ah, displeased when he realizes the vigilante is asking about a celestial wire. At the same time, he understood that Moon is not actually okay, but Eclipse did not miss the opportunity sitting in his lap trying their best to look pretty and not afraid. He's more than willing to kill two birds with one stone, and he did.

Balloon World is a personal favorite hangout of his, and more or less somewhere you don't want to go if you don't want to run into the mob boss himself. He doesn't own it in the traditional sense, but it is his place that's kept under wraps.

Ah! I never did touch on Music Man but he's got a little story! He's the head of a rather lucrative underground operation, though less powerful than Eclipse, but he handles his gang wisely and is able to successfully and discretely laundry money via his club and a separate recording studio as fronts for his illegal business of trafficking weapons. He's on pretty good terms with a lot of gangs and knows to not cross wires as a supplier. My design for him is that he's humanoid but fairly large, on par with Eclipse's height except that he has six arms instead of the regular two. Music Man is mistaken for a simple-minded weapons dealer but he is very strategic in all aspects of his work; he will effectively remove the problem of your existence if you happen to interfere with his smoothly running operations. (He can also play a mean guitar.)

The vigilante found out his real name through some bribes and, uh, more persuasive violent means and would have liked to have gone after him, but other events took up their attention.

I don't mind the questions at all so long as you don't mind me rambling hehe ♥

[x0401x]

Do you think making a masterlist of currently active animanga blogs in a post to pass around perhaps would help? I try my best to find new ones since I don't know too lany, but as one anon stated previously in response to your post, a lot of orginal blogs are either inactive or deactivated. There are some series I love that have no content on here at all left since all the content is from blogs that are deactivated. Unsearchable.

I have the ambitious project (not now since I am in tremendous medical struggles/possible eventual end of life, but if I make it through it) of making some sort of semi regular gifset-manga-animanga contest of sort, with small money prizes, both for winners and smallers ones given at random for participation. Trying to bring back the old blood or bring in the new, you know? I am extremely far from that point and may never make it there, but I have always loved the animanga community of tumblr. It was always so cozy for me after my accident and after I ceased being a game developer. There is a charm to it!

Anyway, all of that to say you are not crazy, it did shrink and it is a relief to know I am not alone amongst those who miss the larger community that used to be there. Especially the content creators who deleted everything.

Hopefully we see a renaissance 💕❤

I hope you don’t mind me answering this publicly because Tumblr has been weird with asks lately, so I can never trust that my reply would go through if I answered privately.

And damn, I sure wish it helps because it’d help me, at least. I really wanna follow more blogs. My dash is dead lately. And wow, money prizes??? That’s very generous but are you sure about that? Not to rain on your parade or anything, but if you’re in tremendous medical struggles, maybe it’s best to save up all you can, even in the aftermath of it. By the way, I’m very sorry to about your condition. Hoping for the best to you.

I’ve been on this site for almost 15 years now and it’s the complete opposite of what it used to be at the beginning. It’s changed for the worst in every aspect except features and functionality. I really, really miss how it was before. I miss how the internet was back then in general. Just an entirely different thing. And that’s why I think it’s gonna be hard to get a renaissance, even with monetary incentives.

Don’t get me wrong, I think you should totally do the thing if you’re ever able to! It sounds pretty neat. But what needs to happen for things to go back to how they were before is that people have to start using the site as it was intended to be used. This place isn’t like other platforms, and although there are lots of posts explaining how to use the site properly, I feel like the people who want Tumblr to return to its golden are are the only ones passing them around. The message isn’t really getting to who it should be getting. I wish there was a way to teleport the new users back in time so they could experience the peak of this hellhole. But unfortunately, we have to find other ways to make them understand why they should reblog, make their own posts and follow/interact with other users. Perhaps that’s where the money could go to? A reblog/edit/follow spree challenge/contest? I don’t know, but either way, that’s a neat idea you have.

Again, hoping for the best to you! And thanks for coming by my inbox!

[kolsmikaelson]

hey guys!! it's been a long few months that i've been gone (i can’t remember when exactly i started being inactive but that’s not the point) and i've been missing this hellsite so much in the time that i’ve been gone. there wasn’t ever really a reason for me going ia all of the sudden but what i do know is that my mental state definitely needed a longer break from here, and while i'm still not in the best place mentally i still wanted to hop back on here and give a bit of an update on my life and my blog and try to be a bit more active like i used to be.

writing and the future of this blog —

as i mentioned before, i haven't been in the best mental state lately but i’ve decided i want to try and come back here and start writing again! i love writing and i think getting back into it and getting into the groove of things here would help me out some. now with that being said, i’ll be going through who i write for and updating things, unfortunately this also means a new taglist most likely but if you’d rather i have a writing sideblog where i reblog all of my fics so if that’s more your thing go ahead and follow it @rodrickhefley !! i’ll still be writing for and posting about hockey so don’t worry about that, but i also want to try writing for other things (such as ted lasso, star wars, scream, avatar, hotd, etc.)  i have a few things up my sleeve at the moment but none are quite ready to see the light of day unfortunately. i’m hoping to gain some new, active mutuals from this as well :). i’m gonna be trying out some different formats for my fics so when there’s inconsistencies please ignore that! i’ll also be doing some social media aus / insta posts again!! with all of this being said, i've decided to either post all of the requests that are currently sitting in my inbox so that another writer can take over and write it or delete them all. i may or may not keep a few depending on if i feel inspired by them or not but we’ll see what i decide:) (poll maybe??)

personal life — 

my life has been an absolute rollercoaster of events since about mid april i’d say? ever since then i’ve been so incredibly busy and haven’t had a moment of peace honestly but now that i’ve got more time i’m back!!! i turned eighteen back in july, woohoo!! so i’ve been trying to figure out how to navigate life as a real adult now. it’s been going somewhat okay, i’m not in college at the moment (won’t dive too deep into this bc it’s so scary but i’ll have plenty of time to write fics so ;) ). part of my absence here was caused by the fact that i started getting really active on twitter, where i went through so much shit but also made a pretty good friend group!! a few days back i took a trip and saw arctic monkeys in concert (i had tickets for over a year and it was well worth it) . it was such a fantastic show!!! i’ve not got much of an update other than that so if you enjoyed my rambling and made it this far thank you sm. i’ve missed it here <3. 

also, not sure when this happened but thank you all sm for 1.8k followers?? that’s so crazy to me but it means so much <33

since i'm not sure which of my moots are active anymore i’ll just tag who i can think of off the top of my head — @ilyasorokinn @2manytabsopen @ang3lik @angryblondechick @boqvistsbabe @timstuetzle @lavenderacademia @conniesanchor @stfukie @sunshinefarabees @hockstuff @typical-simplelove @dmonchld + i know i'm probably missing so many people but it's been so long i don't remember everybodys usernames anymore

[aajjks]

“Bunny anon is not a true fan” 😭 right bc who said I needed to be? I’m not here to be a fan or to tell Hera what’s wrong and what’s right bc I’m not her mom, I’ve never supported anything she’s done that is wrong, but I just don’t feel the need to point it out or tell her because Hera is an adult and can develop her own sense of self awareness. If it does come to a point where it is a problem I obviously won’t ignore it. I will definitely say that inactivity and lack of writing on a writing blog might not be effective algorithm wise and can be dissapointing to your audience but that’s her choice. A lot of things you guys point her out for are just her choices and if you don’t agree with that yeah you can tell her but how she thinks and does things is how she thinks and does things and no amount of lecturing in her inbox online will change that. At the end of the day this is the internet, people are gonna do things that don’t go with your opinion and yes spread awareness if something is fucked up. But point out and getting someone for everything and EXPECTING others to do the same is pretty pretentious. It’s good to let her know but. Btw if you’re implying I’m an ass licker then okay, again I’m not here to be a fan or act like I’m morally correct enough to tell A STRANGER ONLINE how to live their life. If there’s sth fucked Hera does that I supported please tell me. I’m not a fan. I’m just here because I like this blog. I don’t need to do anything to validate myself to be on this blog as a supporter. “True fans” this “true fans that” then ok you be a true fan, don’t put that label on me. If you have a actual problem with me and what I do then come tell me in my inbox. Please don’t make me leave this blog again after im finally enjoying my time on anon again.

- 🐇

there is NOT A LACK OF CONTENT ON MY BLOG PLEASE IM SO DONE WITH THIS ARGUMENT. check the dates of my fics 😭😭😭😭 there is not a lack audience or algorithm wise….. I’m so confused about why the anon only likes to bring you up when you’re not the only one active on my blog… it’s kind of annoying me n I’m so tired of being this “problematic person” god this is such a wild year I miss the previous years.

And babe if you feel like my platform is creating problems for you, you can always just leave yk? I won’t mind because your mental health is very important just as mine is.

I don’t want any fans, true fans. I just want nice people.

[straykats]

Omg I just saw your reblogged post regarding tumblr inbox/asks, and as a long time tumblr user, I feel the same too!! But idk if it’s bc a lot of the accounts/fandoms I follow became inactive, mass amount of users leaving tumblr, or if it’s just a change in the tumblr user landscape, but dang—I kind of miss the 2016-2020 era of tumblr 🥲 I think I had more interactions and experienced more user engagement back then. A lot of things have changed, and I also find myself becoming less active on this site here bc of it. (But I can’t help but stay on this “hell site” lol, I think I will always have a soft spot for tumblr compared to other social media platforms)

Oh also, I miss ask/tag games too LOL it was fun seeing mutuals’ and other followers’ response in my feed and to compare answers! I see those less frequently now :’(

i think i read a post somewhere about yeah, the 'user landscape' has changed... but also just. social media culture in general has changed so its... a bit of everything youve listed^?

inactivity is probably a big one as well, though. im making assumptions here but i feel like all of the long time users who were in fandom spaces w fandom dedicated accounts kinda.. moved on? not that they dont love the fandom/s anymore but like. assuming the majority of us are about the same age, give or take a few years, it does kjnda mean people are more likely than not moving onto 'real life' things and more 'adult' things and so online presence in certain spaces becomes not only like.. a 'childish' thing, but also a potential barrier to employment? (note: using '...' to challenge these notions/ideas) (barrier to employment being that like. 'oh you write fanfiction? 🤨🤨 oh you engage with this kind of content in your spare time? 🤨🤨🤨)

but yeah i also find i get more inactive because of the reasons above, and also because like. well, whats keeping me around if my friends arent here that often anymore? (i dont mean this in a bad way, but in a more general human nehaviour kind of way????)

there was also the whole twitter kigration thing that happened a whike back, which greatly changed the demographics of users, including the tumblr culture ofc

hut anyeays yeah <///3 rip to the good ol' days, you're greatly missed fr fr

[lacheri]

I miss ya & I hope you’re taking care of yourself.

I made you a playlist of all my favorite French music for you.

Tout mon amour peu importe la distance, ma chere. 🖤

HOW IN THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS ASK?!?!?!?! I’m listening rn ilysm alla ur the love of my LIFE

[birdy-bat-writes]

Head cannon: SuperFam taking care of a Sick Lois

Author’s Note: Heyyyyy. Can you believe it? I posted something! I know, I’m baffled too. So, I want to apologize once more for how absolutely inactive and DEAD I have been, like I’m pretty sure this is my first post in 2 years. I’m hoping this post commemorates the end of my slump and I’m so excited to be back into this community and talk to you guys! You don’t even know how much happiness I get from talking to you all!

In other news, I have COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this. I’m trying to remember and get used to the process of titling, adding the authors note, content warnings, tags, and linking this in my Masterlist and stuff. I had to dig through the depths of my computer history to find my taglist but I guarantee you guys I’m missing some things that are the traditional norms in tumblr content posts. Please let me know how I can improve! I imagine my writing has probably changed or gone down a bit in the time I’ve been inactive so I would really appreciate any comments either on the posts themselves or in my inbox or even chat me up! I love talking to you all! Anyway, without further ado, let me present to you, the shenanigans of the superfamily.

@offendedfishnoisesoises deserves majority of the credit because 1, my favorite enabler Is back at it again and enabling me and 2, they basically cowrote this entire thing! Love you fishhhhh!

____________________________________________________

Clark, Jon and Kon tend to be impervious to the majority of human illnesses. They do occasionally suffer a small cold from overusing their power and burning themselves out, and sometimes Jon and Kon’s human genes leave them a little more susceptible to the rare fever but for the most part, the superhumans of the Kent family don’t often get sick.

When they do? They are absolute babies, and Lois is the perfect loving caretaker who soothes them through it all. She’s taken care of countless colds, fevers, super sneeze attacks and more.

That being said, Lois is also the only one of the 4 who doesn’t have superpowers (the Kryptonian kind, her mom powers are unmatched and sharp as a knife), meaning she can get sick a little more often than the rest.

The first time she got a fever when Jon and Kon were both old enough to notice was a real experience. You can imagine how 3 supers (all of whom are very protective of their dear mom and wife) would be a little overwhelmed and panicked at the sight of Lois sleeping in until 2:00 pm, all pale and warm.

Jon: “No, this is freaking me out, should we use the ice breath?”

Clark: “No!”

Kon: “She’s breathing really heavily! Does this happen with colds?”

Clark: “Sometimes…”

Kon: “Sometimes?! What is ‘sometimes’? Does this happen to you? Did you recover fully?”

Clark: “Well, this doesn’t happen to me that often, but I think this is normal.”

Jon: “You THINK? No, no, I’m calling Grandma.”

It’s quite funny to watch because they think it’s way worse than it is. Lois is comfortably out with her Nyquil and sleeping through all of it.

At some point while Clark is being told what to add in the chicken soup by Ma Kent, Damian calls to ask if Jon wants to hang out.

Damian: “You busy?”

Jon: “Not now, Damian! I can barely hear my mom breathing.”

Damian: “WHAT? What’s going on? Is everything okay? Where’s your dad?”

Jon: “He doesn’t know what to do. None of us do. I’ve never seen her like this. I think I’ll get her some tissues to stop the leaking.”

Damian: “Oh my gosh, stay right there.”

So, then Batman, Robin, the Flash and Aquaman show up, because the JLA signal went off. I mean, clearly this is a JLA level threat.

Damian: “Where’s the blood?”

Jon: “What blood?”

Flash: “Oh my god, There’s bLoOd??”

Batman: “Clark, what happened?”

Clark: “She…. has a cold….Why is half the Justice League here?”

Jon: “There’s no blood, Damian, I got tissues to stop her nose leaking!”

Aquaman: “A cold? I thought this was serious!”

Clark, Kon and Jon in unison: “THIS IS SERIOUS!”

This is about when Lois woke up and opened her eyes to multiple superheroes in her living room waving around tissues and instant noodle soup, arguing over much water to add.

*Proceeds to check the expiration date on the NyQuil*

Deciding this was a fever dream, Lois closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Damian: “This was your emergency? Grayson works through this all the time!”

Kon: “That might speak more to Dick's terrible self-care routine and even more terrible self-preservation.”

Flash: Maybe we can google some Home remedi- Aquaman! We talked about this! You don’t find a human being’s pulse in their feet!”

Aquaman: “Well how am I supposed to know? You think I’m a normal human?”

Flash: “Well don’t look at me! I heal quick.”

They all look at Bruce.

Bruce: *Sweats* “Don’t look at me, I have no clue what to do. It’s all Alfred.”

After a very long call with Alfred, everyone went home, and Clark carried his wife and kids to their rooms. He noticed that Lois ate some cheerios and the soup he brought to her before she fell asleep and stayed with her through the night to make sure she had everything she needed.

The next morning, Lois found the table laid with breakfast ready for her.

Lois: “Aww you guys! Thank you for taking care of me, you’re all so sweet. You know, it’s so funny I had the craziest dream yesterday.”

*Proceeds to tell them about how a chunk of the Justice League was in her house arguing over soup and how she thinks it’s a dream because such a bizarre thing would never really happen*

Them: “Haha, yeah, that’s sooo crazy. We would never actually let that happen….”

So, they denied it because in hindsight, it seemed pretty silly to be so worried. That’s not to say that they didn’t react the exact same way the next time Lois had a cold.

They couldn’t keep this secret forever though, as Alfred called to check up on Lois. It was at that moment that she knew, her boys had absolutely NO idea what they were doing, but she loved them all the same.

Lois: “Hey guys, I think my friend is sick. She’s feeling all dizzy. And a little warm.”

Clark: “Oh no, should we go to her?”

Lois: “Well, I was thinking we could the JLA and Alfred :D”

Busted.

Heads turn to her at breakneck speed, and she starts laughing.

She was definitely going to coach them later but for now, she just stood there with her family, taking in how much they all cared for each other.

_______________________________________________________

Thank you all so much! Leave a comment and tell me how you've been! I love you all!! <3<3<3

Taglist: @anothertimdrakestan @offendedfishnoises @comicsandhoney @river-bottom-nightmare @catxsnow @cries-in-fangirl @batarella @idkmanicantenglish @musesofliterature @l-horizondepeu @subtleappreciation @ereaaa @foenixphire @screennamealreadyused

I imagine some of you have changed usernames so i will look for your new names and try to add them! for now, Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist! <3

[t0wnspersonb]

Twin Bed (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Anonymous said:

are u taking requests rn? 🥺 ive read ur tsukki fics and i know to myself ur the only one who can write this request amazingly: tsukki sneaking in to his s/o’s room at night bc he misses her and he saw how cute she is in her pajamas but couldnt help getting turned on as well bc she is wearing shorts and an oversized shirt it also didnt help that her bed is for one person only ;) UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR AND NEVER STOP WRITING TSUKKI OR HAIKYUU SCENARIOS COS THE PPL NEED U

~~~

Word Count: 2,475

Rated: Explicit

Warnings: SMUT, my shit writing, bad language

~~~

Yoooo this is was legit so fun to write lmao. I hope I did your request justice anon and I appreciate your kind words!!! I know I have other requests sitting in my inbox and I will try and to get to them soon. I might be a bit inactive the next couple of weeks, I will be going vacation (I definitely fucking need it lol) this week and then I start classes again. RIP. I hope you guys enjoy this one and let me know what you think!:) I literally am at a lost for words with how amazing you guys are and how unproblematic you guys have been considering the bullshit that’s been going around in the community. I just want to reiterate that this is a safe and fun place for everyone, it is never my intention to make anyone uncomfortable and if I do please let me know so that I can apologize correctly for it! But to make things clear I will not tolerate any fuckery on this blog, I don’t have the energy nor the patience to deal with shit like that. We are all capable of being decent human beings to each other. No drama, no bullshit, just a fun and safe place for everyone that wants to be part of it. ANYWAY, enough of my ranting, please enjoy this filth and my shit writing lmao 😘😘😘💕💕💕💕

~~~

You frowned slightly as you looked at your phone, your eyes squinting against the harshness of the light. 

 Tsukishima had texted you, multiple times - at two in the morning - in fact. While you dearly adored your boyfriend of only five months, you didn’t exactly adore the fact that he woke you up at this time.

 Especially considering you had to be up in about five hours to get ready for an exam.

 You sighed through your nose as you tugged your blankets from your body and made your way to your door. 

 “Kei… it’s two in the morning…” You yawned, looking up at your tall boyfriend with sleepy eyes. “The dorm manager is going to get mad at me if she catches you here.” 

 “Well let’s not get caught then.” he drawled out, gold eyes flickering over your body. A blonde eyebrow arched up; “is that my shirt?”

 You blinked at him for a moment, not fully registering what he had just asked before a soft blush began to coat your cheeks.

 You were definitely wearing one of his shirts, a green Sendai Frogs shirt that was way too big for your body, given his tall stature. He had left the shirt at your dorm two weeks ago, and naturally you wore it to bed almost every night. 

 “No.” You said in a small voice, carefully playing with your fingers as you looked up at him through your lashes.

 A soft blush covered Tsukishima’s cheeks before he scoffed, his slender fingers reaching up to push his glasses back up his nose. “You’re a terrible liar. Looks good on you though.” he said, brushing past you to get into your room.

 You turned to see him plop himself onto your bed, and you couldn’t help but stare. It was a strange sight to see to say the least. His 6’4 frame was just a tad out of place in your room, especially sitting on your incredibly small bed. But more so he was out of place because, well, your boyfriend was beautiful. It was like a Greek god decided to pay you a secret visit before the sun came up, ready to disappear at any moment. 

 Tsukishima’s hair was tousled perfectly, the tight black shirt he wore complimented him perfectly, emphasizing his broad shoulders and thick biceps. You felt your mouth go dry as you realized that he was wearing grey sweatpants, clinging low on his hips.

 How could someone look so good at two in the morning?

 “Are you just going to stare at me the entire time?” He called out, his back leaning against the wall your bed was pushed up against, his phone in hand. 

 “You’re the one that wanted to come over.” you frowned, locking your door before making your way towards the bed. “You’re taking up all the space.” You whined. 

 He rolled his eyes before his long legs parted, creating a space on the bed. “Come here.” 

 You felt your face burn even more, a strange shyness overtaking you at the intimate position he wanted you in. 

 It wasn’t like you had never been close to Tsukishima before, you guys had been intimate, many times... but then why were you so nervous all of a sudden?

 “What are you waiting for?” he asked, a blonde eyebrow quirked up.

 “Shut up.” you grumbled, carefully climbing over one of his long legs. You settled yourself against him, your upper body fitting easily between his legs, your back resting against his stomach and your head gently pressing into his strong chest.

 Resting against Tsukishima was far better than resting in your tiny bed. 

 One of his arms carefully wrapped around your waist, his large hand gently pressing against your stomach, the other hand held his phone in front of both of you, a volleyball game overtaking the screen.

 It was silent for a moment, both of you absorbed in the video. It had only been fifteen minutes into the game when Tsukishima began looking over your body. His gold eyes taking in your bare legs before flickering up. He zeroed in on the exposed skin of your hip, the shirt you wore had been pulled up slightly. 

 He swallowed thickly, arousal beginning to spike in his blood. Christ, it wasn’t like you were naked right now; it wasn’t like you were wearing anything incredibly enticing, but… fuck. Tsukishima began wracking his brain for when the last time it was that he had seen you. That’s right, it had been a while, a little over two weeks in fact. 

 His sudden desire was because he had just missed you right? He couldn’t possibly be turned on from the simple fact that you were in the shortest shorts known to man, or the fact that you were in his shirt and you weren’t…. Christ, you weren’t wearing a fucking bra. 

 He could see your hardened nipples through the shirt despite how baggy it was on your small body. 

 “Can you hold the phone, my arm is getting tired.” he said quietly, hoping that you hadn’t felt his hardening member against your back just yet. 

 “Really Kei?” you rolled your eyes but took his phone nonetheless, your eyes completely glued to the screen. The game was just beginning to get interesting.

 It was silent again.

 But this time, Tsukishima trailed his hand down to your exposed skin, carefully sliding his fingers under your shirt, gently tracing against your soft skin.

 You sighed softly at his touch, your body wiggling slightly against him to get more comfortable. Tsukishima took that as a good sign, his hands traveling further up, the rough pads of his fingers felt incredible against your skin; goosebumps erupting over your body.

 You shivered slightly, desire spiking in the pit of your stomach as his long fingers began moving further up, until they rested just below your breasts. Your breath hitched, your heart thumping loudly in your ears now. 

 His fingers carefully dragged against the soft underside of your breasts. You felt Tsukishima shift, his upper body sitting up slightly, his lips brushing gently against the shell of your outer ear, hot breath rustled your hair. 

 “Who’s winning?” he murmured, lips grazing against your ear before carefully brushing down towards your neck.

A soft whimper tore through your lips. “It’s uhmm… uh - o-oh Kei.” your eyes fluttered shut as his tongue darted across your skin, tasting you before biting down softly. You could feel your cunt clenching at his actions, your bundle of nerves suddenly throbbing to be touched.

 “What was that?” he teased softly, the hand that was gently caressing the underside of your breasts suddenly moved up, carefully cupping your entire breast, long fingers gently tugging at your hardened nipple.

 You moaned loudly before immediately dropping his phone, both hands clasping your mouth shut tightly.

 “Oh, that’s right, if your dorm manager caught me here, she would be furious right? I don’t want you getting in trouble, so you best be quiet hmm?” he murmured softly against your skin before pinching your nipple hard between two fingers.

 Your breath hitched, your eyes squeezing shut as pleasure rippled through your body.

 “But you make the cutest noises when you're turned on.” he said, his voice incredibly quiet and calm, despite the growing hardness that was pressing into your back now. “You’re in quite the dilemma, aren’t you?”

 His other hand suddenly trailed down, his fingers curling against your through your shorts. 

 “Fuck… you’re soaked.” he groaned quietly, feeling your arousal leaking through your panties and staining your shorts.

 He suddenly leaned back once again, your head once again resting against his strong chest. But despite his composure, his heart was racing just as much as yours. 

 He suddenly bucked his hips up, his cock rubbing against your back. A soft sigh escaped his lips, the hand that was groping your breast pulled out of your shirt and tangled into your hair, gently tugging and forcing you to arch your neck, staring up at the blonde male now.

 His gold eyes held nothing but lust now as he stared down at you with half-lidded eyes. 

 You had never seen a more gorgeous man in your entire life. 

 “What do you want?” he asked, his voice deep with arousal. But before you could say anything, the hand that was grasping you through your clothes suddenly tugged your shorts and panties to the side, long fingers brushing softly against your weeping slit.

 Tsukishima exhaled loudly, his cock jumping against your back as he felt just how wet you were. 

 “Fuck…” he whispered quietly, and carefully slid his finger to the top of your cunt, his finger gently pressing down against your clit.

 A jolt of pleasure erupted through your body, your mouth falling open in a silent plea as your eyes fluttered shut.

 He began rubbing delicate circles against you, a soft pleasure beginning to build up in your lower stomach, your hips rocking up carefully with his movements.

 “K-Kei…” you trembled, your hand reaching down and grasping at his forearm helplessly. 

 “Are you close?” he asked, his finger pressing down just a little bit harder, but that was all that you needed to get your legs shaking.

 The way he touched you… the way that he took care of you… it was no wonder you were completely head over heels for him.

 He was just too good.

 You nodded helplessly against his chest, and then suddenly he pulled his hand away from your dripping cunt, a soft cry of distress tearing through your lips. Why did he… but you were so close…

 “Can you move away for a second?” he asked quietly, gently pushing you forward. You shakily scooted away from him and heard the rustling of sheets and clothes. You twisted your head to look back and - your mouth went dry.

 Tsukishima was still resting against the wall, his lower body easily sprawled out against your bed as you still sat between his long legs, but this time… this time… he laid with one hand behind his head, the other was easily grasping his member, lazily sliding up and down his shaft. His grey sweatpants were bunched up around the tops of his thighs, his black shirt pulled up slightly, exposing his lower stomach and the perfect lines of his Adonis belt.

 “Come here.” he demanded, you turned to crawl over to him, fully intending on taking him into your mouth- his hand flew up, halting your movements. “No. I want to be inside you.”

 Your lips parted slightly as you nodded in a daze, your cunt squeezing around nothing at his words. But before you could sink down on top of his cock, he stopped you once more. 

 “Turn around.” he commanded. Your lips trembled softly, your hands gripping his upper thighs as you situated yourself on top of him, you could feel his fingers tugging your shorts and underwear to the side again, and then something blunt and thick began rubbing up and down your soaked entrance. 

 “Don’t tease me Kei, please.” you whimpered out, but before you could plead further, he grabbed your hips, forcing you to sink all the way down onto his member in one movement.

 You gritted your teeth tightly, biting back the loud shout that wanted to escape your throat at the sudden intrusion, at the force of him already hitting the most devastating depths within you.

 Fuck you had never been quite this full, never had someone quite this deep until you met Tsukishima.

 “Shit.” he cursed, growling slightly, his grip on your hips tightening as his eyes fluttered shut as your tight heat engulfed him completely.

 He could never get used to this. 

 After a moment of adjusting to the new intrusion you began rocking your hips, carefully sliding back and forth, your lips forming into a silent o as pleasure jolted through your body at each drag of his cock against your walls.

 A soft whimper tore through your lips as he began grabbing handfuls of your ass, his fingers gripping tightly at the soft flesh, kneading and pulling your cheeks apart. Before his hand settled on pulling your shorts and underwear further away, his eyes taking in the obscene way your cunt swallowed his cock.

 The quiet room was filled with the sound of rustling sheets, the wet noises of your arousal leaking through your stuffed cunt as Tsukishima slid in and out of you, the soft and breathless moans that escaped your lips, and the soft grunts of Tsukishima as he fought back his release. He couldn’t cum yet, not until you did.

 But he could tell that you were close by the desperate way you rocked your hips, faster, sloppier, chasing for a release.

 “Cum for me.” he demanded, his large hand cracking down against your ass. Your hand came up, stifling the loud gasp that wanted to escape your lips, your cunt clenching tightly around him. You could feel it then, the pleasure mixed with the sharp pain, the tightness in your lower stomach finally releasing. 

 “Fuck that’s it.” He murmured, watching as you trembled above him, his hands coming down to grip at your waist, forcing you to move faster against him as he began chasing his own release.

 Tsukishima gritted his teeth tightly before carefully shoving you off of his member, a soft cry escaping your lips as you collapsed on top of his legs. He gripped his member tightly, shooting thick ropes of his warmth all over your raised bottom, staining your shorts completely.

 “Shit hold on.” he panted slightly, carefully moving himself from under you. He tucked his softening member back into his sweatpants before moving towards your closet, grabbing a towel and making his way back to you. His gentle hands easily cleaning you up before tugging your shorts and panties off, replacing them with fresh ones.

 You looked up at him sleepily as he began situating you both on your small body, half of your body resting on top of his as he drew the blankets over your guys’ form. 

 “You suck Kei. If I fail this exam because I’m too tired to focus, you have to buy me ramen.” you mumbled against his chest, your eyes drooping as sleep began to tug at your mind.

 “If you fail this exam just because you’re tired then that just proves you didn’t actually study for it. You should’ve been able to retain that information regardless.” he said, fingers gently running through your hair.

 “You suck.” you sighed again, softly nuzzling your face into his chest.

 A smile tugged at his lips, but he didn’t say anything else. 

 Not that you would have listened anyway, considering that you were knocked out now. 

 Tsukishima’s body was definitely more comfortable than your twin bed. 

[halsteadlover]

Worried About You

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested by anon: Can you write one when Jay finds out you’ve been hurt during a case? Thank you xx

• Warnings: Violence, mention of cuts, bruises and gunshot.

• Word count: 2791.

• A/N: Y'ALL I missed you so much I'm so sorry I was being inactive but college is exhausting (I know nobody cares but still 💀). I'm not really sure about this, let me know what you think I hope you like this ❤️ my inbox is always open, love you all stay safe! 💞

Jay’s unmistakable voice caught your attention as you were about to leave the district and when you turned to face him, you saw him quickly descend the steps and walk towards you.

“I’ll wait in the car, but hurry up,” Kevin said behind you and you nodded before he walked out.

“Hey what’s up?” you asked Jay, with a confused expression thinking you must had forgotten something and he had come down to hand it to you.

“Nothing, I just wanted to tell you to be careful, don’t you dare come back with a single scratch okay?”

His sweet warning made you smile and you playfully rolled your eyes. “Yes dad, everything’s going to be fine.”

“I’m serious Y/N” he ​​stated not amused at all. If there was one thing he didn’t joke about it was your safety and he would do anything to make sure you were safe. The idea of ​​you going to a suspect without him didn’t sit right with him, and even though he knew you weren’t alone and Kevin would be with you, he couldn’t help but worry. You and Jay had always felt a protective instinct for each other that was different from what you felt for the rest of the team. You had a special bond, you were always there for each other, and both of you would endanger your own life if it meant protecting the other.

“I’ll be careful Jay I promise” you said fist bumping him.

“Okay see you later then.” He leaned and placed his lips on your cheek in a sweet and quick kiss. Even if it was light that little touch was enough to make you blush from head to toe and as Jay walked away slightly you hoped he hadn’t noticed. But from the way the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, you realized that he had noticed it. “Call me if you need something.”

“Did your lover boy finally let you go?” Kevin asked sarcastically as soon as you got into the car.

“Don’t start Kev and Jay is not my lover boy.”

“Just keep telling yourself detective,” he said as he started driving. You were on your way to question Steve Bennett about the murder of a man he was suspected of.

But as always, things never went as planned and certainly the suspects didn’t help make things easy.

As soon as you and Kevin parked the car next to the curb, you almost immediately spotted Steve Bennett as he was making his way out of a grocery store. But just as you spotted him right away, he did the same, and the instant you two were identified, he immediately started running away.

“Dammit!” you exclaimed “You grab the car I’ll chase him on foot” you quickly told Kevin and he nodded before seeing you start chasing Bennett through the streets.

“Chicago police stop!” you shouted, making yourself space between people, but the suspect didn’t want to stop, on the contrary, he tried as much as possible to increase his speed to try to sow you.

Bennett turned into an alley and you cursed when you lost sight of him for few seconds. As you crossed the street to get to the alley, you risked getting hit by a car as you didn’t even look left and right.

Luckily, the alley Bennett had gone into was dead end. A sense of relief went through you but was quickly replaced by irritation when you saw Bennett trying to climb the fire escape of a building. You pulled him by the shirt but he didn’t lose his balance, on the contrary, he caught you completely off guard and punched you in the face, which made you back off.

“Son of a bitch” you muttered under your breath and responded to his attack with another punch, using all the strength you were capable of. With one lightning motion you pulled your gun out of its holster but didn’t have time to do anything as Bennett threw himself in a fury on you, a furious expression on his face. The punch you gave him made his nose bleed and as he hit you he poured out all the fury and anger he had.

“Fucking whore!” he screamed while you were both on the ground, you trying to protect your face. Your gun had dropped beside you as you were trying to quickly think of a way to push him away so you could take the gun.

You took advantage of a moment when Bennett got distracted by a noise to head him in the face and you couldn’t ignore the pain that caused you too.

Bennett was lying on the ground in pain, his hands covering his face and you took the opportunity to get up and quickly retrieve your gun. But that bastard was faster than you and he kicked you in the knee, knocking you on the ground.

Your breath knocked out as he kicked you in the stomach with a strong kick and you started coughing violently as you tried to suppress the urge to throw up. Your arms spontaneously encircled your chest for protection and a feeling of dizziness took hold of you at that moment in an attempt to regain control of yourself.

Bennett quickly took your gun and pointed it at you and at that point you knew you had to act fast or you’d be dead.

“Hey, hey it’s okay man,” you said with your hands raised as you tried to ignore the pain and stand up “No need to use it put that gun down.”

“Don’t move!” he screamed, hand shaking as he pointed the gun at you.

“I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding, I just wanted to ask you a few questions and leave you alone but you understand now what situation you have put yourself in, right? You attacked a police officer.”

“That son of a bitch deserved it! He deserved every bit of pain that I caused him!”

While Bennett practically yelled his confession, you took advantage of that distracted moment to attempt to disarm him but it started a fight between you two for the gun where each was trying to pull the trigger to hit the other.

You had no idea how it happened but a shot went from the barrel of the gun. The adrenaline was so high that you didn’t even realize it and you haven’t noticed Kevin’s arrival until you heard him exclaim aloud. “Y/N!”

You dropped your gun from Bennett’s hands and Kevin pulled him away from you, pinning him hard to the ground and handcuffing him before he rushed to you.

“Y/N omg are you okay? Can you get up? I’m so sorry” he told you right away while you had your hands resting on your knees.

“I’m fine… I’m fine” you murmured in pain and standing upright, noticing how Kevin had his eyes wide open.

“Y/N your arm… You’re bleeding” he said as he gently grabbed your arm to take a closer look at the wound.

“It’s just a scratch Kev, I’m fine.”

-

Jay was sitting at his desk compiling reports on the latest case the team had investigated even though his mind was totally elsewhere. His eyes kept moving to the watch on his wrist, waiting for you and Kevin to return to the district.

He was aware the fear he felt were irrational, that there was no need to be anxious because he knew very well you were able to defend yourself.

But as soon as he got a call from Kevin informing him of what had happened his worst fear came true and his mind immediately began to think about the worst.

Jay immediately recognized your figure sitting in the back of the ambulance as a paramedic was treating the wound on your arm. He quickly made space among the people to run towards you and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the wounds on your face and arm.

“Fucks sake be careful!” you exclaimed angry for the umpteenth time since that paramedic was treating your wound.

“I’m sorry ma’am I’m almost done.”

“Y/N!” you heard your name and it didn’t take you a second to figure out who it was. You looked away and you found Jay running towards you, concern clear as he watched you from head to toe.

“What are you doing here Jay?”

“Kevin called me what the fuck happened?!”

“It’s nothing serious I’m fine Jay I promise” you said right away but he didn’t even seem to hear your words as he exclaimed again louder “Y/N what the hell happened?! God are you okay?”. The words died in your throat when he placed two fingers under your chin forcing you to raise your head to be able to take a closer look at your wounds.

His eyes scanned every inch of your face, carefully observing the wound on your lower lip, the cut on the cheekbone and the one on your brow, and the bruises that were already forming. His jaw was set and a veil of anger crossed his face.

“Jay…” you started talking, completely ignoring the paramedic next to you. Jay didn’t look at you, his gaze actually ended up on Kevin who was approaching you at that very moment.

“Where the fuck were you?!” Jay exclaimed angrily and looked ready to knocking Kevin on the ground. Just then the paramedic finished dressing your arm wound and you jumped up, stepping between Kevin and Jay as you tried to ignore the kick pain in your stomach.

“Jay don’t even start it’s not his fault!”

“It is Y/N,” Kevin broke in sorry “We shouldn’t have split up.”

“That’s right you shouldn’t have split up! You were supposed to protect her!” Jay emphasized angrily.

“Stop it Jay! I can protect myself for goodness sake! And you Kevin it. Wasn’t. Your. Fault.” you emphasized the words then looking at Jay again “That’s not the first time and it won’t be the last, stop acting like you want to save me from the world!”

Jay sighed deeply and ran his hands over his face in frustration, trying to calm himself down. You rolled your eyes when neither of them answered and you passed them, starting to walk away. Jay glanced quickly at Kevin before joining you. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“At home.”

“I’m coming with you.”

There was no point trying to convince him not to come and that you were fine, you didn’t even try it because you knew you would never be able to change his mind and he wouldn’t leave you for anything in the world.

The ride to your apartment was silence and it wasn’t that comfortable, pleasant silence, for some strange reason you felt nervous while Jay continued to drive, his hand holding the steering wheel tightly, the other one instead thoughtfully touching his chin.

“Where do you keep the medication kit?” Jay asked as soon as you entered your apartment.

“That’s not necessary Jay I’m…” you were about to reply but he cut you off before you could even finish the sentence, a serious yet worried expression on his face.

“Y/N you have to disinfect these wounds. Tell me where you keep the kit. “

You let out a deep sigh and an intercostal twinge went through you, right where Bennett had hit you. You tried to mask the pain but Jay noticed it right away. You couldn’t hide anything from him, he knew you too well.

“Come on, sit down” he told you and put one arm around your shoulder before leading you slowly to the sofa and help you sit down. Jay kept watching you carefully and with pain, he hated seeing you like this and the thought that he wasn’t there to protect you while that bastard beat you up… God it made him so incredibly angry.

After taking some disinfectant and cotton, Jay began to dress the wounds on your face, his heart tightening when he saw your aching expression.

“I’m so sorry, I know it hurts but it will pass I promise” he almost whispered as he dabbed the cut you had on your lip.

“It’s okay” you whispered back, trying to ignore the electricity that his touch was sending all over your body.

Jay’s eyes were fixed on your lips and he found himself swallowing the lump in his throat, trying not to lose focus and not to think about the way your mouth moved as you spoke. You were stuck, your breathing quickened and your heart pounding so fast as his fingers caressed your chin.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, not to you,” he said in a low voice. You were about to respond when his thumb caressed your lower lip with an almost excruciating delicacy, which made your heart almost stop.

“Jay…”

“I know Y/N, I know it’s our job and we always take risks but, shit, I hate someone hurt you, I hate I wasn’t there to protect you because, trust me, I would’ve killed that motherfucker before he could even look at you. When Kevin called me I thought the worst, I was so worried about you I thought I was never going to see you again. I know I’m exaggerating but I can’t help it, I can’t. When it comes to you...” he sighed as he continued to caress your face “My mind can’t think straight, I can’t control myself. You are so important to me Y/N, I don’t know what I would do if I lose you.”

The thud in the stomach that those words caused you was something you couldn’t explain, that you never felt before. At that moment everything seemed to have passed into the background, the pain, the bruises, the wound in your arm, everything, there was only Jay. The way his green eyes kept looking at you, as if he was fighting a battle internally, a battle he was destined to lose, God, it was breathtaking.

You had never paused to look at his eyes so closely and in that same instant you realized there was nothing else you wanted to do, that there was nowhere else you wanted to be but with him.

You didn’t know exactly how or when it all changed, you just knew it happened.

“I’m not going anywhere” you could barely whisper. You put your hand on Jay’s, your fingers gently stroking his.

Jay lost a heartbeat and just the touch of your hands was enough to cause a rush of shivers down his spine. He hugged you, holding you so tightly but being careful at the same time not to hurt you. Not even a second passed before you returned that hug, encircling his chest with your arms while you had your forehead resting in the hollow of his neck. You found yourself closing your eyes and deeply inhaling his scent, that scent made you feel so at home, that made you forget all the bad things happened.

“Maybe I should go,” he said more to himself than to you. He gave you a kiss at the top of your head.

You frowned and looked at him, confused. “Why?”

Jay sighed, cupping a hand to your face again as his thumb caressed your skin.

“Because I might do something you’ll regret and that’s the last thing I want.”

At that point you were more confused than ever. What the heck was that supposed to mean? God, sometimes it was really hard for you to understand that man.

“What? What can I regret?”

His thumb stroked your bottom lip again, being careful not touching the scratch, making your heart skip a beat again.

“Me kissing you. I want to kiss you so bad right now Y/N, I don’t know if I can resist anymore but I… I don’t want…”

You didn’t let him finish the sentence as in less than a second your lips were already pressed against his, your hands cupped to his face. Jay’s arm encircled your hips, fingers pressing hard on your skin in an attempt to feel you, to get you as close to him as possible.

Your lips moved so well together, as if they had always been meant for this and you didn’t care about that little wound you had on your lip, at that moment everything seemed to have taken a step back.

“Fuck you shouldn’t have done that Y/N” he whispered, his lips still brushing yours as he kept kissing you.

You smirked. “Why not? You already regretted it?”

“No, damn it no, you shouldn’t have done that because now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop kissing you.”

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[dontneedadictionary]

FACEIT, TF2, and YOU: What it is, how to play, etc

So you’ve heard of the hit new thing coming to TF2 but you don’t know what the heck its all about? Or maybe you’re trying to figure out how to use FACEIT to play Team Fortress 2? This is the guide for you.

For those of you interested in signing up, consider using this link. For those of you looking to learn more, please read under the cut. I’ll be giving a detailed explanation of what FACEIT is, what it means for TF2, and how to queue. 

Ok, so first thing’s first: what is FACEIT? 

FACEIT is an Esports company founded in 2012. It has been hosting leagues and community matchmaking for games like CS:GO and Dota 2 for a while. But this isn’t really too important in the grand scheme. What you need to know is that FACEIT has taken an interest in creating a skill-based, cheat free, matchmaking platform for casual Team Fortress 2. 

What this means is that after the closed beta for TF2 ends later this month (March), you will be able to queue into community maps hosted by FACEIT. These servers are heavily monitored with anti cheats so that they will not be infiltrated by hackers and bots which have currently been the plague of Casual Team Fortress 2. 

Currently, FACEIT boasts zero bots, zero hackers, skill-based matchmaking, free prizes (australium weapons and rare cosmetics), no autobalance, no random crits, no random bullet spread, and more. 

You can learn more about these things in plenty of youtube videos like these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvfEmlJ_N48

But what does FACEIT mean for TF2? FACEIT poses a chance for TF2 players to experience a more serious casual setting without the current issues plaguing the game. It also means that TF2′s community could grow. Potentially, if FACEIT goes well, Valve could be inclined to improve the future of the game. 

FACEIT currently is one of the best options for people who like playing TF2 seriously. It’s not technically competitive, but it is a more competitive way to play. Consider it like playing something like Competitive Overwatch casually. You should take the game seriously, not play as a friendly, and not abandon the game. 

If you’re someone who wants more from your TF2 experience and want a challenge, this could be for you! That being said, I caution that it isn’t for everyone. It’s a very different way to play TF2 than a standard causal game is. Maybe give it a try and see if you like it! 

-o-

So how all does it work from the technical side of things? How do you play?

Well, I’ve got the guide for you! (This will get long, I’m sorry).

Currently (3/14) the client only offers a closed beta. To get access you will need to be invited by FACEIT to the closed beta. However, you may be able to get access to this by inviting a friend (I’m not 100% sure). 

If you have full access, or this is written after the closed beta has ended and the client opens to the general public: start here. 

First thing’s first. When you download the client, it may require you to verify your email and phone number before you can queue. This is a component of the anti-cheat. Additionally, it may require that you download the anti-cheat software (this will require a PC restart). I suggest downloading it regardless of it is required. This is merely to help prevent the infiltration of hackers and bots. 

The anti-cheat download can be found in the bottom left of your screen. Just download the software and make sure you log in afterwards via the same button once it has been successfully downloaded. NOTE: you cannot install the anti-cheat with TF2 or another game open. 

Once this is setup, you should be able to queue with no issues. 

From the play menu, you can queue for Solo or Team games of matchmaking 12v12 TF2. It will let you know how many players are currently queuing for the game mode if you hover (hence 21 in this screenshot). 

There are currently 8 available maps. You can select your preferences here. However, much like in competitive game lobbies, you will have the option to vote for the map chosen for the match. I’ll come back to this in a moment. For now, you need to know how to make sure you make it into a match.

When a match is ready, there is a VERY short period of time to accept the match. Less than 30 seconds to hit accept. If you miss this window, you will have to requeue. If someone else misses this window, you will automatically requeue. The client will automatically play a loud trumpet flourish and you just hit the button to check in. This is to ensure no inactive players and afks.

This is what the window looks like when you’re accepted into a game and the maps are still being chosen. Team leaders (priority towards people with premium passes) will choose and select a map for the game to be played on. If you’re not a team leader, you can request that certain maps be played or not played. 

After the map has been chosen, you will be provided an IP address to paste into your developer console in TF2. If you don’t know how to enable your developer console, please follow this guide. 

You have less than 3 minutes to connect into the match. If you make it in during this time, you will be partaking in a few moments of warmup. It’s just like pre-game in Casual TF2 servers. From here, the game functions similar to competitive. One team attacks and sets a standard. The other only has to beat that standard time or amount of points capped etc. (I believe that KOTH maps are best out of 5).

If at any point your team is really getting beaten and you feel the need to forfeit. You can type “!gg” in the chat and a vote to forfeit will start. 

If you leave the match early, you will be penalized. So you should really only queue up if you have an interest in completing the game. Even if it goes poorly, you should stick it out or use !gg. 

Once the match ends, it will automatically close. Similar to an MvM lobby!

As you play, you’ll be able to work towards points to win prizes (they’re expensive but still possible to get!) as you play the game. Here’s an example of some of the prizes.

There are also missions to help you unlock points. Here are some examples of those:

You will also be able to rank up and unlock points that way. Newer players will have to work up through the ranks. The XP to earn these rank ups comes from playing the game. You can earn your way to the Face Melting rank just by playing the game. 

An example of how the ranking system currently works is shown here from Big Joey’s youtube video.

As you can see, the higher ranks will be based on your skill as a player. There are also other things in FACEIT such as ladders and tournaments. These are more complicated and explorable on the actual site or platform itself. So I’ll let you guys check that out on your own.

Overall, there are a lot of fun things about FACEIT! Hopefully this guide helped you understand what it is, how to play, and what there is about it. Please let me know if you have any targeted questions about it in my inbox and I’ll be sure to help provide any info I can.

Have fun y’all and give it a try! This is a cool alternative to casual play. 

[mengyan]

Do you do headcanons?? If so can i get some domestic carulia headcanons 👀 like after carmen spends some time in argentina but then she misses jules so she goes back to england but jules is sad she left her so abruptly and isnt taking her shit so carmen moves near her and like has to re-win her over🥺🥺

anon, i absolutely do headcanons!! my brain is practically a dump for headcanons, you’ve come to the right place :D and if anyone ever wants me to write any just leave me a request in my inbox!

here is part one of my classic fic style headcanons based off of the prompt you’ve given (which is SO good by the way please i am so tempted to write it into a full fic and add to my mountain pile of drafts rn-):

carmen loves her mother, she really does. she’s sweet and kind and her family. it’s all she’s ever dreamed of. after carlotta sees her standing on her doorstep, her warm brown eyes freeze and then she gasps, launching forward and hugging her equally as shocked daughter.

“your eyes. my god, i would recognize them anywhere. [given name], is that you?”

“it’s carmen, actually,” she manages to say, her mother hugging her like it’s the end of the world. and her mother doesn’t question it, merely letting go and smiling at her with tear filled eyes.

“well, carmen, it’s nice to meet you.”

things aren’t perfect after that, of course. there are questions, so many of them that they stay up the entirety of the second night talking (not the first, carlotta insisted that she had to get some sleep). carlotta doesn’t seem fazed when she tells her about VILE and stealing from them, cries when she brings up her father, but they push through it because now they have each other.

it’s strange, then, the feeling she gets a month or so later. she’s lying on the couch after a few rounds of games with the orphanage kids, and she doesn’t feel... satisfied. she should, shouldn’t she? this is what she’s spent her life searching for. she left her team behind to focus on this, to give something to herself for once.

it’s maddening. she can’t figure it out, talking to player as she bounces a ball against the ceiling. her mom worries, asking her what’s wrong, but she can’t answer her because she doesn’t know.

another few weeks pass. she’s cleaning her tools, sorting through her red coat for some nostalgia. a slip of paper falls out, and written on it is the address to this house she’s living in, and-

“player- i never asked, and i’m not sure if you even know. who found the address?”

he hesitates. a beat, then— “your favourite ACME agent.”

oh. oh. jules. she hasn’t let herself think of her ever since she left them all behind, afraid of the memories of her brainwashed time being dredged up. julia probably hates her, and rightfully so.

but she’s buzzing. she feels like she’s onto something, like satisfaction is just out of her reach, and player is more than happy to check up on julia’s blog for her whereabouts. turns out she’s not in france but in england, visiting her mother, telling her blog audience that’s why she’ll be inactive for a while.

carmen laughs at the irony. player books her a flight.

fast forward and she’s halfway to julia’s mother’s place and in the middle of the sidewalk, she stops, suitcase rolling behind her. she probably shouldn’t be showing up randomly like this, no warning and dropping back into julia’s life when she doesn’t need it. julia’s had to have moved on by now, the girl in red just someone who was too afraid to meet up with her before she left.

“red, what’s up?” player asks her, staring at her unmoving icon on his screen. “you having second thoughts?”

“kind of, yeah,” she admits. “i’m just not sure if-”

there’s a tap on her shoulder. carmen turns around and feels her heart drop out of her chest.

julia argent stares back at her, arms crossed and looking exactly the same with her glasses and dressed in a casual tan coat, yellow sweater, and black jeans. she looked good, and, well, annoyed.

“hey, jules!” the greeting doesn’t come out as confident and suave as she hoped, but it suffices, and player speaks excitedly from his end. tell julia i said hi! he says, before cutting off.

“by the way, player says h—”

“ms. sandiego,” julia says stiffly, none of the playful flirting and easy tones that she’s gotten used to. “why are you here?”

“i thought you—” carmen stammers, reaching into her pocket and showing her the slip of paper. “you gave me this, and i wanted to thank you. also you know you can call me carmen.”

something in julia’s eyes softens at the sight of the paper, but then hardens again when she looks back at her. “you’re welcome. you didn’t have to come all this way to tell me, though. and calling you by a first name basis would imply that we’re friends, but it seems that we’re not, doesn’t it?”

carmen chokes a little, eyes widening. “we’re not- friends?”

“i would think a friend would at least say goodbye or get in contact with me any way before disappearing for months, so no, ms. sandiego, i don’t think we are.”

carmen’s first instinct is to feel offended, but she understands where the agent’s slight hostility towards her is coming from. this wasn’t just julia being petty, it was the consequences of her actions that she had to now make up for.

“jules, i’m sorry,” she says, going to grab her arm but drawing back at the last second. right. their subtle touches with each other were definitely off limits now. “we can talk about this in somewhere that’s not a public sidewalk, and i’ll explain everything, i promise.”

julia’s mouth twists into a frown, and she uncrosses her arms, one finger pushing up her glasses. she looks her square in the eye, her gaze cold and unflinching. “what is there to explain, exactly? how you left me- left us all so abruptly, and gave your closest family a note to remember you by? zack and ivy mentioned it to me- they’re being trained for ACME now, but i’m sure you knew that already.”

she didn’t. she hasn’t asked player for updates for a month. a heavy exhale escapes her, and she wishes she had player in her ear. julia lets out a humourless laugh at her lack of a response.

“i guess you found something better, ms. sandiego. i’m happy for you.”

the declaration is bitter- and with that, julia spins on her heel and walks away, heading to her mother’s house. carmen stands with her suitcase on the sidewalk, apologies on the tip of her tongue, wanting to chase after her. she swallows them down and drops onto the nearest bench, burying her face in her hands and tapping her earring so player can reconnect.

“red! how’d it go? what has julia been up to? is she-” player’s voice bursts through with questions, and carmen doesn’t say a word, a new mission in mind.

“do you know where julia is staying? not her mom’s place, i’m assuming.”

if player is surprised by the question, he doesn’t comment, and carmen can hear his keyboard clacking as he scans address books and properties. “she’s a couple blocks over, i’ll text you the address,” he says at last. carmen’s phone pings with the incoming text, but that’s not the actual thing she’s looking for.

“thanks, player. are there any houses up for sale near her street?”

“give me a second.” player pauses, scrolling through listings, and then continues. “there’s one like, diagonally across from her house, actually.”

“we have any funds left from our world saving?” she can tell player knows what she’s asking for now, from the telltale anxious drumming on his desk and the slower than usual clicking.

“a couple million, actually. i thought we were slowly distributing to-”

“i’ll make up for it, maybe nag some of the VILE stragglers and the remaining stolen artifacts and whatnot. can you set up a meeting with the house owner so we can wire the funds over?”

“this is a bad idea,” player cautions.

carmen grins. “and since when have i ever been known to have a good one?”

part two will be up as soon as i can get it written out! if you’re the anon that sent this, send me an ask about part two so i can answer it that way!

[literallyglitchn]

Sorry

Heya yall! I think I should um...come clean with my inactivity Honestly I want to apologize about it. I started an Au and got some people interested and threw it all away because things got too overwhelming. Because I lost motivation and because I just- Don’t like what I create anymore. And for days I knew that this was selfish. I could have spoken about it and such but- I was afraid. I thought “Hey it was months. they’d probably hate you once you’ve come back” and “Just announcing that you lost motivation will upset people” and all these useless penniless thoughts. So I decided “hey maybe if I disappeared they’ll forget about me. And this will all be fixed” Though I kind of...miss inspiring people. It’s why I grew attached with my work and my stories- It makes people happy. Everyday I get an inbox saying that they were inspired to grow from seeing my artworks or I managed to make their day and well- I feel horrible for throwing that all away just because I was afraid.  I hopped off of the Sander Sides fandom to be forgotten but I just keep comin’ back. I truth is I want to continue the ghost Au and I want to continue posting here. And if that means coming clean then I am. So I am so sorry for being inactive for almost a whole year. or more- I don’t know if I can continue the Ghost Au, after all I started a comic along the way. I can juggle with the two but ya know- Mental health is always important. But I will continue drawing for you guys. DHWEDLj im sorry I am horrible with my words but uh- Im back?  For the Ghost AU thing I wouldn’t know what to do. I was planning on making a story, write it down and add pictures for it. And I was going to make the applicants write it out since im incapable of writing but- I don’t know maybe some of you lost interest? Again im sorry for dying on you all But I guess If you still are interested...you know maybe the Ghost Au will be on break. I still have come motivation in me so, why not start it when it feels right? God this is a messy post already if you have any questions just ask!

that will be all Goodbye not like- bye as in I’ll wh you get what I mean man have I been on discord for far too long

[fleetofshippyships]

Managed to write a little something through the brain fog and pain today, some junior shenanigans for an old ask game prompt in my inbox (’stomped’). 

Technically, no ships I guess, or implied Zhuiling, or implied Zhuizhen, or implied Lingyi, or implied Zhuiyi...let’s face it, I ship the poly junior quartet so hard every time I write them them it tends to end up that way so read it how you like in terms of ships or no ships at all and just ‘what’s some spooning between good friends?’

---

Another round of laughter, barely muffled through the walls, and Jin Ling decided enough was enough. It really was intolerable. And irresponsible.

He threw off his blankets and stomped out of his room at the inn. It was only after he was down the hall and throwing open the door to the others’ room that he realised he was only in his under-robe.

Heat rushed to his face, but was swiftly forgotten as the others cheered his sudden appearance, waving around cups and sloshing wine everywhere.

“Would you all shut up and sleep already!” Jin Ling snapped, somehow managing to remember his purpose even when faced with the shocking state they were in.

Ouyang Zizhen’s hair was...something. It looked like some attempt at the arrangement that was currently fashionable for weddings, but it was executed awfully, looking more like the nest of some sort of small animal.

Lan Jingyi was scandalously underdressed, a light under-robe barely covering him as it threatened to come untied at his waist, one leg sticking out in the awkward way he was sprawled on his side, one shoulder of the robe wet with what was probably wine.

Lan Sizhui was...red faced and missing his forehead ribbon.

The sight of his naked forehead sent Jin Ling’s thoughts skittering away from his desperate need for sleep after the nightmare their earlier hunt had been. He didn’t dare look around for where the forehead ribbon had ended up, and yet, he desperately needed to know for no accountable reason.

“Jin Liiiing!” Lan Jingyi cried. “You changed your mind about sharing a room with us!”

“Come, have a drink, have a drink,” Lan Sizhui said, beckoning him with a hand and sloppily pouring wine into a fourth cup that seemed to have been left out just for him.

“Jingyi, you should do his hair next,” Ouyang Zizhen said, lifting a hand to pat at his hair, a wistful look on his face that clearly said he hadn’t looked in a mirror yet.

Lan Jingyi perked up, pulling himself upright and nodding so vigorously his robe slipped off one shoulder.

Jin Ling hardly knew where to look, but the angry bruises across the bared side of Lan Jingyi’s chest caught his attention.

“What are you idiots doing? You’re keeping the whole inn awake!” he snapped, belatedly closing the door behind him even though he knew it was doing a poor job of dampening their noise. “You should be resting!”

Perhaps he should have agreed to share a cramped room with them instead of purchasing his own, he might have been able to stop them from such ridiculousness.

Then again, he was finding himself utterly defenceless when Lan Sizhui asked him to do...anything lately. And with the way Lan Sizhui was holding out a cup of wine with an eager and inviting expression, Jin Ling realised he probably would have been talked into it.

Even now, he was tempted, if only because he found it so oddly difficult to deny Lan Sizhui anything when he looked at him like that.

But the hour was so late, and they had all fought so hard during the hunt. Lan Jingyi wasn’t the only one covered in bruises and cuts and needing rest.

“What would Hanguang-Jun say if he saw you behaving this way instead of resting and caring for your wounds?”

It was a low blow, but that offered drink in Lan Sizhui’s hand was very tempting, even if he had no desire to embarrass himself in the way they were behaving. He’d die of shame if word reached his sect, or worse, his uncle. He had to stop them quickly.

In unison, they gasped and looked around, as if Hanguang-Jun might be summoned to the room just from Jin Ling speaking his name.

If the circumstances were different, if he wasn’t so exhausted and battered from the hunt, if they weren’t at a public inn, he might have joined them with little fuss and probably enjoyed himself, even if it was hard to fathom looking at the state they were in now, but they were at a public inn.

He rather thought it should be Lan Sizhui being the responsible one, but he hauled them up one by one, awkwardly trying to avoid touching Lan Jingyi’s very exposed skin, and pushed them towards their beds.

The room they’d purchased was so small that it only had two beds, and Lan Sihzhui and Ouyang Zizhen shared one while Lan Jingyi sprawled shamelessly over the other.

Jin Ling stood over him for a moment, eyeing his bruises and wondering if he should apply more salve to them. He didn’t trust the idiot to have done the job properly the first time, and he didn’t want to listen to him whining about how sore he was all the way back to Gusu.

It was usually Lan Sizhui who fussed over them, and it felt odd to find himself playing that part, and especially for an idiot like Lan Jingyi, who would shortly injure himself again in some stupid, embarrassing manner, but he was already reaching for the salve before he thought that he should maybe leave Lan Jingyi to his fate.

But he never managed to get the salve.

Lan Jingyi, with a ridiculously loud groan, pulled himself up and reached over until he managed to grab Jin Ling by his waist and yank him forwards.

Jin Ling toppled onto the bed and, while frantically trying to get away, found himself swiftly manoeuvred until his back was against Lan Jingyi’s chest and he was firmly trapped by his deceptively strong arms.

The position was so utterly unfamiliar that he froze instead of fighting to get free.

Across the room, Ouyang Zizhen was already snoring softly, and Jin Ling could see they were in a similar position, with Lan Sizhui nestled against Ouyang Zizhen. He had seen Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi sleeping huddled together many times out on hunts, but out in the wild felt somehow very different to in bed at an inn.

Head flooded his face when he remembered the way Lan Jingyi’s under-robe was all but falling off him.

“See, isn’t this better than a lonely room on your own?” Lan Jingyi mumbled, holding him, if anything, even tighter.

Protests rose to Jin Ling’s lips but he bit down on them. As strange and constricting as the position was, it wasn’t unpleasant. He had wondered before, seeing Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui sleep this way on hunts, what it would feel like to be held close by someone else.

Although he had never considered it would be Lan Jingyi who would do it.

There was no point trying to escape. He’d learned long ago that he was no match for Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui’s ridiculous upper body strength.

And...he wasn’t entirely sure he did want to escape, now that Lan Jingyi was relaxing his hold just a little and shifting into a more comfortable position.

“Shut up and sleep,” he muttered belatedly.

Lan Jingyi merely hummed dismissively into his hair, and Jin Ling decided that no matter how nice it was starting to feel to lie there in Lan Jingyi’s arms, he would still wake early and make them all suffer for keeping him awake so long.

---

I’m not really sure how Jin Ling wound up the responsible one in this...but anyway, I wrote a thing and that’s miraculous on its own so I don’t really care if it’s out of character XD

Please excuse errors, I didn’t have the spoons to edit it, and I’m really rusty writing, but I’ve been so inactive I just wanted to post something new here for now, maybe tidy it up later for AO3 if I find the spoons for editing and summary and title and all the hard stuff about posting fic XD

[ixalit]

If people are still looking for queer reads I recommend anything by TJ Klune. He has YA and adult novels that are beautifully poetic. Two Boys Kissing by David Leviathan is possibly one of the most deeply moving things I’ve ever written. All I’ll say is that the story is told from the “collective” of all the queer people who have died. They watch several stories unfold and there is one including a trans man that is gorgeous all on its own. If you want poetry Danez. Fucking. Smith. (1/?)

There’s a lot, so I’m going to post all of these below with links.

If people are still looking for queer reads I recommend anything by TJ Klune. He has YA and adult novels that are beautifully poetic.

Two Boys Kissing by David Leviathan is possibly one of the most deeply moving things I’ve ever written. All I’ll say is that the story is told from the “collective” of all the queer people who have died. They watch several stories unfold and there is one including a trans man that is gorgeous all on its own.

If you want poetry Danez. Fucking. Smith. Specifically, Don’t Call Us Dead.

Andrea Gibson is a nb, wlw focused poet as well. A great into to their work is Take Me With You. They have a bunch of their slams online and “Orlando” still makes me sob.

Foxhole Court is good if you like something dark. It’s a three book series and the gay couple don’t get together until the last book but they’re the MC and the time line works well.

Proxy and Guardian are good if you like dystopian and has a good twist on how liberation ultimately destroyed them. Lots of homophobia in this book, be warned (from in universe, not the author), and there is “bury your gays” so read with caution.

N.R. Walker has lots of wonderful books and plenty of fantasy. They’re usually a safe bet for some choice gay content.

If you LOVE farmer Steve, I HIGHLY recommend Honey for the Lion by Jackie North. Time traveling romance and even though is not normally my thing, it is so fucking gooooddddd. Don’t worry about it being the second in the series, it’s stand alone in the same universe and is where you should start since it’s the best out of all of them so far (though that’s because I’ve always been big on them Farmer level vibes lol. I read this long before SoRE was a thing so and if you’re missing it, the read this book).

Lyn Gala is super niche and I don’t think a lot of people will be into her stuff but it’s worth thumbing through for those who might like it (she has an interesting little sci-fi series. I lost interest around the third book but the first one is nice. Not a perfect writer, but lots of good ideas).

If you are into “wtf even is this and why is it hot” guilty pleasure reading—> Amalita Rae. She’s inactive these days (I’m still waiting for the follow up to one book and one book and it’s been 4 or 5 years) so proceed with caution.

I know a lot of people like A.E. Via but.... I’m not a big fan. Still, they’ve got a big audience and are worth mentioning.

If you straight up want Farmer Steve 2.0 then read Over and Over Again by Cole McCade and cry with me. It’s different but it’s got age gap, big ass gentle giant farmer, and Daddy Kink (I think.... don’t quote me on that).

If you like mafia aus—> Cold Hard Cash by K.L. Hiers. Thank me later.

I’ll stop flooding your inbox now but I have literally torn apart the kindle store for 7 years finding the good gay shit and if you’re looking for it, I’ve read it and I know what the good stuff is so everyone else can save the money I’ve wasted on some bad stuff over the years 🤣🤣🤣

[sheepishlyshippingsheep]

Self-reminder: I’m writing for myself and that’s fine

For my old followers who followed me for fanfiction, you might have noticed my lack of activity in that department. And while I appreciate the thoughts of readers telling me it’s fine to take a break or write on my own pace, a part of me still feels bad cause writing is part of how I express my emotions. And just not being able to write and continue my WIPs, my plans, and my ongoing projects is really, really difficult.

I was very committed to finish those big projects. I have elaborate and detailed outlines and documents of what to write next. I know what I want to write next but every time I open the document, I just stare at it. At first it was like that, until eventually I didn’t have the courage to open my docs anymore and my AO3 inbox with rotting comments I haven’t replied to until now.

I don’t wanna say that my fics are popular but I have to say that I’ve at least built some engagement with my readers. I get regular comments and even if I haven’t updated anything for months, I still get kudos everyday. And while I agree that engagement and cheers help writers to write more, I still couldn’t return to writing like I did months before. The ideas didn’t die but I just can’t write. Well, for BNHA.

I almost felt like I forgot how to.

But just yesterday, I was able to write 2K words smoothly and continuously and that’s for the light novel series, 86 (Eighty-Six) by Asato Asato. And it’s English-speaking fandom is really small and not even that focused on fan content. When I posted my fic, AO3 only had a total of 3 fics, including mine. This is understandable considering that an anime is still coming. But despite the lack of engagement (It’s been almost a day and until now it only has 4 views) and maybe, that might make me sad, but to be honest, I feel more fulfilled than ever.

I’m not saying that feedback is not important because I’ve been hyped by many kinds of cheer and just the fact that people read my work really, really makes me happy. But feedback is not the only fuel that one can have when it comes to making content. I just truly miss that feeling when I’m writing my older fics. Cause some of my recent stuff, while I liked it to a certain level, despite the feedback I got, it wasn’t as fulfilling as my latest one.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m leaving the BNHA fandom. I’m still very much interested in the series and the ships but somehow, the current arc isn’t helping my creativity or mood. I feel like I’m anticipating the developments so much that I can’t think of anything else but what awaits me in canon, in Hori’s story. I wanna see Hori’s story so bad that I got no time and energy to make my own in his universe. I do hope that I get back to BNHA writing soon though. I’ve invested so much energy and time in coming up with plans and ideas that I still wanna see finished some day. But for now, I’m not gonna force myself to write, only to end up being disappointed by the end result regardless of its quality.

I’m writing this to thank the people who still remember my works and continue to support me even if I’m very inactive. But as the title says, it’s also a reminder to myself to stop feeling guilty over the whole thing.

For now, I’ll focus on things that make me feel fulfillment but again I hope to one day be able to post more BNHA content cause even if wrote all these things in this blog post, you have no idea how much I miss writing for this beloved series.

I have to say sorry for not posting on Tumblr so much anymore. SocMed is overwhelming and I think I’m only active on Twitter and Discord.