Tumgik
#this line up is pretty realistic right?
jungkooksknot · 1 year
Text
My picks for bepler!
KEITA!!! He is my one pick 💕 he is the most talented boy I’ve ever seen! like his rapping is actually good and he’s just amazing and funny and cute and I so hope he’ll make the line up!!!
Tumblr media
KIM TAERAE!! He is so pretty and cute and such a good singer 💖
Tumblr media
Lee seunghwan cause he is hot lol but also he is a good singer and I like his vibe
Tumblr media
Kum junhyeon cause he is funny and talented!
Tumblr media
Matthew cause GIIIIRRLLLL and he is cute
Tumblr media
Jiwoong cause idk he’s grown on me and he’d be a good leader and I vibe with him
Tumblr media
Sung Hanbin cause icon
Tumblr media
Zhanghao cause he is so fun and talented
Tumblr media
Jay cause his voice is so amazing and I’d like to see how this man would function in this group lol
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
maya-tl · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Maya & William made with this picrew by @ wervty.
5 notes · View notes
fingertipsmp3 · 3 months
Text
Well I’m sleep deprived, I have a low level uti, I accidentally overshared to the wrong person and I yelled at a student because he disrespected someone who looked like my friend but wasn’t. How’s everyone’s Thursday going
#i can sleep in tomorrow thank fucking god. and i have decided from now on i’m doing admin at home#because realistically who’s gonna know? how will they know? are they going to track my phone? are they going to check every room#in a 4-storey building and ascertain i’m not there? as long as i continue to be decent at my job; is anyone realistically going to care#where i am. my line manager has about 10000 other things going on#i really doubt she’s going to give two shits if i’m working at home. like i’m still DOING work in my assigned hours#oh boo hoo; i didn’t get up at the asscrack of dawn to go send emails from the college library. who caresssss#uh. the student. right so one of the librarians looks a lot like one of my friends#she’s young and pretty and kind of speaks broken english and does not get taken seriously by a lot of the students because of all of this#so a boy came in drinking an obnoxiously large coffee and she said ‘only bottled drinks are allowed in here’ and he completely ignored her#he then made the mistake of coming to sit behind me and being annoying with his friend. so i whipped round and said ‘didn’t you hear her??#you can’t have that in here’ he finished it in front of me and went and threw it away lol#like my coworker who i was sitting with had to chug her coffee; you will too idiot#it had to be done. like i’m not going to sit there as a staff member with my giant badge on display and allow a student to disrespect#another staff member. it’s not right#personal
0 notes
superhumanfoods · 4 months
Text
We need to talk about Sending Rocks.
You probably don't understand what that means. That's fine. It's a weird little example I made up, and I'll explain.
I'm the creator of the near-future cyberpunk podcast SINKHOLE. SINKHOLE is weird, short-form, nearly impossible to explain to people, and utterly unmonetizable. It's also got a very healthy listenership for something so esoteric. (I promise season three is coming; life just keeps happening, constantly.)
Because of that, I have a reputation as a weird little indie creator. And if I were to run a crowdfund, I could set up a donation tier that was literally just
"I will go outside, find a rock on the ground, and mail it to you."
and most people would find that funny and charming. I think, at worst, people might find it puzzling, but they'd still opt in out of curiosity.
A lot of you would let me send you rocks.
Now we need to talk about the re: Dracula crowdfund- about the zines. A handful of people got very upset about the perceived lack of quality present in the zines.
That caught me off-guard. To me, a zine should always be kind of janky. You should be able to tell exactly how far down the pile your specific zine was based purely on how committed to hitting the fold lines the person folding it was. Zines are handmade and should feel handmade.
So it seemed like people were complaining about the zines being zines, and I didn't get it.
And then I realized something: it's not about the zines. It's about the fact that they were coming from Tal Minear.
If Tal Minear ran a crowdfund and set up a donation tier that was just
"I will go outside, find a rock on the ground, and mail it to you."
I would give it about a day before someone found a way to turn that specifically into a talking point about how Tal doesn't respect the audio drama community.
Tal Minear cannot send rocks. The zine was never the problem. The way people think about Tal is the problem.
We need to talk about how this community keeps trying to reinvent classism based on nothing but vibes and follower numbers.
I'm going to tell you something you already know but probably don't want to admit: the independent audio drama scene is to the independent film scene what a fish tank in a dentist's office is to the ocean.
The biggest names in this community are just a step up from being nobodies.
If you went outside right now and spoke to the first person you saw on the street, the only non-BBC fiction podcasts you would have any realistic hope of them knowing are Welcome to Night Vale or Archive 81- and the latter only because it got turned into a Netflix show, which means that they might not even realize it was a podcast first. There's also a chance they'll have heard of The Magnus Archives, but it's not a guarantee by any means.
Now, this last one I've mentioned to a few people, and was surprised to get a lot of pushback. There seems to be this thought that no, of course everyone has heard of The Magnus Archives.
No. No, man.
You're doing the Homestuck thing. I hate to hurt you like this, but you're doing that thing people did where they assumed everyone had at least heard of Homestuck.
There are people in your life that have never heard of Homestuck.
The Magnus Archives was a mini-zeitgeist in which the fandom engaged in wild speculating, plentiful shipping, and lots and lots of aligning yourself with a specific Fear.
And it was never as big as Homestuck.
I'm sorry. Jonny Sims is not a household name. That's simply the truth.
He is also in this fish tank with us. As far as I am aware, he has not escaped to begin acting in feature films or begun voicing characters in massive video game franchises. Slay the Princess was pretty cool. It's not exactly fucking Assassin's Creed, though.
He doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.
And notice how my metric for breakout success involved going to other, better-known mediums? That's because a breakout success in this community involves getting a blurb on Buzzfeed or in Cosmo. There is no audio fiction podcasting elite. The idea is hilarious.
Even Markiplier doesn't count, because he's YouTube royalty. He's not famous because of The Edge of Sleep. The same is true of any celebrity. They're visitors. They didn't get their break here.
Tal Minear is not your landlord. They're a slightly bigger fish in the same tank as you that likes to poke around in the muck a bit more than you personally enjoy. And, well, you cannot argue that Tal's position as showrunner of re: Dracula justifies framing them that way.
Because the thing is, I'm not just the creator of SINKHOLE. I'm also the showrunner and head writer of Mayfair Watchers Society as of season two. Showrunning and writing is most of my income these days. Tal and I are very comparable in terms of the material power we wield. This isn't a secret.
And yet, a lot of you would still let me send you rocks.
Now the actually important thing.
We need to talk about how this exact illusion, this fanciful idea that there are real industry goliaths in this fishbowl, has already been used to justify the mistreatment of marginalized people.
When Tonia Ransom brought up the issues she had with how the AnonymousAD tumblr had characterized her crowdfunding campaign, this is the reason why people felt they could dismiss and ignore her. Because yes, she's a black woman speaking out about having been wronged, but she's also a "Big Creator," and therefore it evens out.
It doesn't even out.
A lot of the most successful creators you know in this space still have day jobs. I spent yesterday and today doing inventory at my retail job. I spent hours poring over shitty little badly printed tags and biting back swear words because our owner will not let us close, so there were still customers in the store, actively buying the things we were trying to count.
This Us vs Them shit has got to stop. It's nothing. It's a parody and a sham. If you tried to explain it to your grandmother, she'd give you the exact same reaction as if you had tried to tell her about drama in the Homestuck fandom.
Because it's the same.
And you don't get to use it to justify being shitty to someone who you know perfectly well would deserve your humility and understanding if you weren't pretending they were your boss.
Who can send rocks is not and has never been a reflection of real power or privilege. Deciding someone cannot send rocks is just a convenient excuse to disregard their perspective when it makes you angry or uncomfortable.
At best, it's tilting at windmills. At worst, it is punishing your peers for daring to defend themselves or speak out against injustice while being marginally more successful than you.
1K notes · View notes
Text
No one else but you
Tumblr media
Pairing: Captain John Price x Reader
Summary: You and Price broke up months ago after a bad fight and you're still reeling from it. You're utterly heartbroken, but with the less that great wisdom of your friends, you decided to try and jump into another relationship to solve the hurt - one that was bad from the beginning. Will Price showing back up in your life get you out of it? Or will you be left with no one at all.
(No use of y/n or mention of gender/race)
Warning: Angst with a happy ending, fluff, cheating boyfriend (not price), Smut (no mention of reader genitals), soft dom!Price, nickname Daddy used, pinning down, dirty talk, praise
-💘-
Realistically you knew that you’d see John Price again one day, you just hated that it had to be that day. That day that you were on a date with your new boyfriend. The day after you’d just made things official. Pretty much right after you'd just gotten on at said boyfriend for distracting himself with his phone the whole time. Now you were the one that was distracted.
You and Reid hadn’t been dating long, just barely a month and half. You’d asked the night before about where he saw things going and then somewhere along the way in that conversation he asked if you brought it up because you wanted him to be your boyfriend. Then you supposed that’s why you did ask, and said yes, and he’d agreed to it. 
Of course you’d felt kind of happy about it at the time, but now - after locking eyes with your ex, who offered you a crinkly eyed smile before turning to the barista - you felt like there was a pit in your stomach. It was as if your belly was made of lead. Had you made the right decision?
“Hello, are you listening to me?” Reid laughed, waving his hand in front of your face. “Weekend plans. Next weekend. Selena’s cabin. Need a yes or a no. She’s messaging me about it and you were the one that just ranted to me about how I wasn’t paying attention to you.”
“Hmm? Sorry, what?” you asked, resuming eye contact with your boyfriend. “Where’s the cabin again? Who’s Selena?”
It was so unfair, you thought to yourself. Why was Price here now? You’d figured after being deployed he’d be away for a long time, but slowly you came to realise that it had been ages since you’d seen him. 3 months in fact. 
And now he was there in the cafe, standing in line for a tea you presumed, looking as handsome as ever. His beard had been allowed to grow, he’d probably not had time to trim it, it was longer and even in length. His eyes looked weary and his hair was messy, probably from running his hands through it too much, you thought, and you bit your lip as you noticed he was wearing that shirt you liked. The worn green linen button up, with a pristine white T-shirt underneath of course. 
“Do you know that man or something?”
You jumped when Reid pulled you out of your daze yet again, and suddenly all the bluebirds and butterflies were out of your field of vision. You’re opened up to the reality of the coffee shop, all the whirring and buzzing machines and emphatic chatter of all the tables around you. It was as if a spell had been broken. 
You gulped awkwardly and shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck.
“Sorry, yeah…that’s my ex,” you explain with a sigh.
Even then, even while you were with someone else, you still hurt over the way things had been left. That should’ve been a bad sign, one that meant you weren’t supposed to be moving on so soon, but whenever you talked to anyone about it they just said you needed to move on and ‘shag it out your system’ - whatever that meant. John didn’t feel like the kind of man that anyone could just forget about, even when it was you that broke things off in the first place.
“Wait, the soldier guy? The one that you said beat a guy up outside that bar?” Reid marvelled, fastening his eyes to Price’s place in the queue. 
“Yeah, him,” you murmured, forgetting that you’d told him about that. 
“He doesn’t look like I thought he would,” Reid snorted, watching him wait for his drink. “He’s like an old guy, looks pretty harmless to me.”
You held back the protest that had come to the tip of your tongue like a hot pepper. It wouldn’t do to tell your new man that he’d get flattened by the captain if he got on his bad side - that would be asking for an argument. Instead you bit your lip and watched as Price made his way toward you both, takeaway cup in hand. You were begging whatever deity might be watching over that he wouldn’t linger long. 
Though by the looks of things, he’d had a hard time trying to forget about you too. There was something in his eyes, something like relief, that made you feel he was glad to have bumped into you. 
He eventually came to a stop next to your table, standing close to your side. You could smell the piney aroma of his aftershave as it rolled off of him - sprayed on to help cover the lingering scent of cigar smoke. It combined with the smell of bitter coffee and sweet cakes and left you dazedly staring at him. 
“Hello, there,” he said simply
You gulped, instantly feeling your mouth go dry. What were you supposed to say back? Hello, how are you? No, you had so many other things rushing through your mind you didn’t think to respond with something normal. 
Did you think about me while you were away? Did you miss me? Did you finally realise you were wrong to hurt that man so badly just because he’d pushed up against me and called me names when he thought he was supposed to get served at the bar before me? Do you think things could’ve been different afterwards? Could we have talked more and worked it out? I missed you so much, please take me away from here. 
“Um…hi,” you said sheepishly, offering him a small smile. “How’ve you been? Did you just get back from deployment?”
“Yeah, just got back on wednesday there. You know how it is when I’m away. Spend the whole time worrying about everyone till we’re back home safe, don’t I?”
He’d tilted his head at you meaningfully, letting you know that he wasn’t just talking about his men. So, you thought, you struggled just as much as me.
“What about you, how’ve you been? And who’s your friend?” he asked, turning his attention toward Reid.
Price narrowed his gaze on your boyfriend and offered his hand, shoulders rolling as he did so. You didn’t miss the way he’d said friend. Apparently Reid didn’t either. Reid took Price’s hand all too willingly and firmly shook it, making eye contact so direct you wondered if he was trying to shoot lasers out of his eyes. 
“Yeah, good,” you responded, watching as their handshake carried on a little too long. “This is Reid.”
“The boyfriend,” Reid added, finally snatching his hand back.
Price raised his brows and glanced at you. You could swear that you’d noticed his jaw tick, but nevertheless he smiled and patted your shoulder, his hand warm on you, even through your thick jumper.
“John Price - the ex,” he said to Reid, before turning back to you.“Good to know you’ve had someone looking after ya.”
his lips were quirking as if he’d had to force the words out.
“He uh- has been yes,” you said appeasingly, side-eyeing Reid as he frowned at you. “Someone’s got to!”
You’d laughed awkwardly, tittering away while hoping the interaction would end. Though there was no chance of Price going that easy. He stayed and nodded his head slowly, his eyes narrowing on you as he seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. Was he thinking of all the times that he’d been the one to look after you? 
“Did you get yourself a tea then?” you asked, trying to end the awkward silence and - hopefully - send him on his way, you could ask him to go drink it in peace. 
He looked down at it as if he’d forgotten the scalding cup in his hand and back at you, raising the cup just slightly. 
“Know me well, love, don’t you?”
Your body all but seized as he resurrected one of his old pet names. You used to preen when he called you love. Now you were choking on your spit - actually genuinely choking.
You wheezed and gasped, quickly taking a drink of your latte to try and ease collapse of your windpipe. It might have settled if not for the fact that he started rubbing your back. That only made the problem worse. You struggled to take in the closeness of him, the warmth, how firm his hand was as he settled it over your spine. 
You brushed past him and got up, offering both him and Reid an apologetic smile. 
“Don’t know what’s…come over me,” you gasped, trying to find enough air to talk. “I’m just going to go to the toilet quickly!”
And before another word could be said, you rushed off to try and find some peace, desperately trying to avoid all the hustling bustling people around you. This was not good. 
-💘-
While you were away, Reid and Price both stared each other down. Left to their own devices they could both drop any pretence they’d kept up while you were around, not that Reid was making much of an effort to try and appear friendly. Though now he was openly glaring at Price, letting him know that he wasn’t welcome. Trying valiantly to scare him away. 
Price, meanwhile, was casting a wary eye over this new boyfriend, looking him up and down and not missing the woman’s name on his phone screen. He wasn’t the type of man to deny that men and women could be friends, but something about the way Reid had been messaging whoever it was so intently, rubbed him the wrong way. He looked from the screen and back to Reid, causing the other man to scowl. 
“What was that?” Reid all but growled. 
“What was what?” Price asked, raising a brow. 
“Calling them love and rubbing their back like that! You said it yourself - you’re the ex. Act like it and back off!”
“Ex or not, I want you to know something. I might not be in the picture right now, but I’ll tell you this - you hurt them…and I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”
Reid frowned, about to laugh off his threat when Price gave his rival the same look that he’d used in interrogations- the one that showed that he wasn’t above getting dirty if the situation called for it. It was then that Reid recalled what you’d told him about the fight, about how Price had almost permanently maimed the guy, he had remembered you saying that the man had had his jaw wired shut just to recover from what Price had done to him. 
Reid didn’t visibly back down, but he didn’t retort back either. He pursed his lips instead and watched as you bounced back to the table in the background, relieved that you’d recovered sooner rather than later.
-💘-
“Everything ok?” you chirped, sitting back down in your chair. 
“Yeah, course,” Price smiled, his eyes turning to those familiar crescent moons that you adored. “What about you? Survived, have you?”
You played with your hands and laughed awkwardly, remembering to swallow before you choked again. 
“Yeah, still kicking somehow.”
“Well that’s good to hear. Listen, its been lovely to see you, but I’ll let you two get back to it, I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome. Just so you know though, if you ever need anything,” Price said, his blue eyes melting into honey, “just give me a ring.”
With that, he winked at you and left, not waiting for your response.
You huffed out a breath, only just realising that it had felt like your lungs had been fit to burst pretty much that entire time and looked over at Reid. He looked like he was going to combust. All the light that had been on his face earlier in the day had died and he looked sulkily down at his phone, angrily tapping a message into it. 
“Oh my god, Reid, I’m so sorry about that,” you sighed, closing your eyes as you finally realised what had just happened. “He can be really intense, and I didn’t realise he was going to come barging up to us like that! Anyway,why don’t we get things back on track, what were you saying about going away to a cabin?”
It was Reid’s turn again to blank you now. He continued to type a message to whoever he was talking to and left you in silence, listening to his thumb angrily jamming down on the glass. You tried again and he still didn’t respond, and soon it began to feel like every tap on the screen was a hammer in the nail of your coffin. 
-💘-
You had thought you’d resolved that argument that night. 
You had spent the whole rest of the outing shuttered out from any conversation with him, only to spend hours when you’d gotten home locked in a bitter fight. He’d said you could’ve backed him up a bit more and made him look less like a fool, and you’d agreed and tried to tell him that you were so overwhelmed you weren’t sure how to react, though you knew you could’ve tried to have handled it better. You just weren’t sure what you would’ve been able to do differently. 
There had been some back and fourth for a while, but eventually it was settled when you’d said you’d block him and delete him off of everything and that was the end of that. Or so you had so naively believed. 
You’d gone along to the cabin on the Friday of the following weekend and soon it was revealed to you that that hadn’t been the end of things at all. 
Everything had started off fine, it had been nice even. You’d all gotten camping chairs and had sat round a big fire drinking and getting to know all of Reid’s friends and were enjoying yourself immensely. However as the night wore on and Reid had gotten drunker and drunker - Price had eventually come up. That’s when everything did a complete 180. 
Someone, for some godforsaken reason, had brought up awkward ex stories and Reid jumped at the chance to tell everyone about the coffee shop encounter. He spared no detail in making Price sound like a disgusting lecherous old man, and laughed as he told everyone about how he’d been threatened. A detail he’d forgotten to tell you when you’d had your discussion.
“You didn’t tell me about that,” you’d protested weakly, putting your hand on his thigh. “You should’ve said something. That’s not right that he threatened you.”
He shook his leg from your grip and laughed bitterly, taking another swig of his vodka. Suddenly the taste of the spirit was acrid in your throat and the smoke from the fire was stifling you. The evening was going downhill fast.
You turned around and took a glance at his friends, they were all laughing about it, apparently finding it hilarious that an old man had threatened Reid. Everyone was in hysterics apart from one of the girls, the girl who’s cabin it was. She didn’t appear to be hearing any new information, she was just smiling like a cheshire cat and opening another cocktail can. 
“Didn’t take it seriously then, did I?” Reid shrugged, looking around at all the laughing faces with glee. “What’s he gonna do? Knock me over with his walking stick? That guy was like a hundred years old.”
You wanted to say that it was funny he didn’t say that to Price’s face, but immediately thought better of it. Instead you just tried to laugh it off and hope the subject changed, but ultimately it didn’t. Instead you became the group target when one of his friends had sniggered and asked if Reid wasn’t too young for you. Must be hard keeping up with someone your own age instead of someone that falls asleep when you get on top, and apparently it was the funniest jokes in the world to everyone but you. 
For the whole rest of the trip his friends had kept bringing up your supposed penchant for gross old men and had kept the joke going. They brought up pictures of old actors and asked if you’d ‘smash them’ and when one of the men from a neighbouring cabin had walked by, of course an older man walking his even older doddering greyhound, they’d told Reid to hold you back before you ran off with him.
It wasn’t fair, you’d thought. Price wasn’t actually that much older than you. Sure, there was a little bit of an age gap, the lines on his face were a little deeper than other people his age and there was a bit of grey creeping into his hair, but he spent most of his time fighting and commanding big groups of soldiers. It would age anyone quickly!
However, as if that wasn’t humiliating enough, Selena (Cabin owner and supposedly happily committed friend of Reid’s) had come up to Reid on the second night while you were supposed to go away to get something to drink. Somehow, between you going away and hastily coming back to ask what he wanted instead of the drink you were out of, she’d wandered onto his lap. You stood by the patio door, no longer noticing the chill in the air and instead honed in on the fact that she was stroking a hand through his hair and murmuring to him softly and sickly sweet. 
“I like your hair like this,” she’d said, her voice sultry and low. “Why’d you never style it like this when we were together.”
“Oh yeah?” Reid responded, gripping her hand in his. “I guess I hadn’t figured out how to do it yet.”
You bit your lip, not feeling like you could say anything yet, knowing that you’d only be made to look like a jealous hypocrite if you protested at an ex getting a little too close. They hadn’t actually done anything yet, you told yourself, they were just sitting together on the old deck chair. He looked like he was about to take her hand off of his head. She was barely even touching him to start with really!
Until she was.
She leaned in and sloppily kissed him, her drunken body swaying as she fought to keep her balance on top of his wobbly legs. Bile rose in your throat as you watched them together and suddenly the entire weight of the weekend was upon you. The jeering of his friends, Reid refusing to stop them making fun of you and telling you to grow up, and finally watching them both locked in a kiss that Reid was in no way trying to get away from. 
You blubbered out a pathetic cry and ran to your room, grabbing your things in a blind panic and barely checking that you had everything, only really worrying about your car keys. You ensured that you had them clasped tightly in your hands, stabbing yourself with the rigid metal, and rushed to your car. You hastily threw your bag into the back and slammed the door loudly. You’d gone to open the drivers door when Reid came bounding up behind you, shouting after you and having the audacity to look angry.
You watched him rush over in a panic, and leapt into the car seat, making extra sure to lock the door as you got in. You’d done it just in time too. Just as the click of the lock had sounded, Reid angrily pounded on the window and screamed at you, telling you not to overreact and get out the car. 
“I’m not overreacting, I’m going home!”
“You can’t drive, you’ve been drinking,” he growled.
“I’ve been drinking lime sodas,” you screamed back, turning the engine over as you angrily jerked the keys. “And I saw you kiss her back! If you think I’m gonna let that go then you’re dead wrong! This is over.”
“Oh, come on! I didn’t do that, you’re making things up. Just come out the car and talk to me for a minute!”
You glared at him and put your foot on the clutch, revving the car as you waited for him to get out of your way. He stood resolute and threw his arms in the sky, looking ready to rip you out of the car with his bare hands.
“If your stupid army man came over and did the same you’d probably kiss him back too!”
That did it. 
You reversed the car in a flash and turned round, uncaring if you bashed into anything. As long as you didn’t run over Reid (as much as you kind of wanted to), you were happy to do anything just to get out of the drive. You turned the car successfully, even managing to leave dent free and barrelled your way down the road. Wiping furiously at your tears so that you could see your way down the unlit country roads.
-💘-
When you finally got back to your town, you weren’t able to go home right away. You didn’t have the strength to drive on. You’d been hounded with text messages and calls and the sounds of vibrations and sight of angry words had put you too on edge. You couldn’t go on.
Instead, you’d stopped in the Tesco Extra car park and rammed on your break, sitting in a relatively abandoned section near the back. You hastily turned off your phone and threw it in the back seat before draping your arms over the steering wheel, then crying into them like something out of a cheesy movie. 
It wasn’t fair. 
You’d just wanted to have a nice weekend away and instead you’d spent the entire time being the butt of a dumb joke and had been cheated on to boot. It felt like nothing in your life could go right.
Every one of your friends had encouraged you to get with Reid, had told you things would be much better with someone that would actually be home and not off in some random country video calling you from miles away; and at that moment you wanted to facetime each and everyone one of them and show them exactly where that advice had gotten you.
Look at my big ugly crying face and feel awful, you stupid idiots!
Even when you were mid breakdown in your car you still knew that that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t their faults he was a cheat. Instead you just kept weeping quietly to yourself and letting the hot tears roll down your face like acid, stinging at your irritated skin. It felt good to get it all out and soon you were running out of anything to cry with anyway.Your big snuffly sobs were turning into quiet breaths and eventually no sound left you as you stared ahead into nothing, the neon shop lights blurring in the corners of your eyes.
Your calm didn’t last for long though. A knock came at your window and you jumped out of your skin, bolting upright and looking at the glass with panic. At first you thought Reid had somehow found a way to follow you home, but it turned out to be worse than you’d first assumed. It wasn’t your now ex, it was the ex before him - Price. 
You took a moment to catch your breath and furiously rubbed at your eyes, hoping that he hadn’t noticed what you’d been doing all hunched over in the dark. However, your motions had completely betrayed you and before you could think to roll down your window, he was coming over to the passenger side of the car and tapping on the glass again and motioning to the lock.
He wanted to get in. For crying out loud, what was this day?
You groaned, but knew there was no use denying him and weakly pulled up the lock, wincing as he wrenched open the old door and shut it with a bang. 
“What happened? Are you ok?” He asked, gripping your arm with a reassuring squeeze. “Are you hurt?”
He looked ready to follow through with his supposed murder threat when he’d asked the last question. You swallowed thickly and scanned his face, noticing that he looked less tired than when you’d last seen him, he was more focused as he glared.
He had shaved the mutton chops back into his beard, but he was still wearing the old green shirt that you loved, it looked like it had been washed many times since you’d seen it. It was fraying even more than it had been. 
“No, I’m ok,” you finally responded, your voice going croaky. “I just- I just had a bad weekend is all. I’d rather not talk about it. I’ll be fine once I get myself home and then I can sort myself out from there.”
“You’re in no state to get yourself home, not like this,” Price admonished, easily sliding his palm against your face. It felt cool to the touch, it soothed your burning cheek. “Did you come here to get something? Do you want me to go in for you while you wait here? Then we can figure out how to get you home.”
He made sure you were making eye contact, he was speaking in that low familiar tone he used to use with you. The one that used to send your heart sparkling like a firework fuse ready to blow. You could already feel the beginnings of a sparkler fire, there was something fizzling away and making your heartbeat flutter and skip. 
“No! No, I didn’t come to get anything, I just needed to stop for a minute. You don’t have to do any of that, honestly I’d feel awful for you if you had to go trailing after me,” you laughed, trying to brush off how heartbroken you were. “Please John, don’t put yourself out all for-”
“Nonsense. Wait here and I’ll be back in a second.”
“John!” you protested, watching as he slid out of the car.
“I mean it,” he said sternly, giving you a serious look. “You move from this spot and I’ll be cross, love. Sit tight.”
There was no arguing with him. It was as if he’d tapped into some deep seeded programming and reactivated it as if he’d never left. Ill be cross love. The last thing you wanted to do was disappoint him.
You relaxed back in your chair and watched curiously, still rubbing your eyes of the drying salt, tracking Price as he ran over a little ways to his car and brought a bag out of it. He surveyed the car park, visibility peering around, watching for any cars that might cross his path and came back to you before very long. Efficient as always.
He drew to a stop in front of the driver's side and opened the door, beckoning you out. You frowned and crossed your arms, ready to put up a fight at him wanting to drive your car. For one thing, he hated driving it and would always come off the clutch too hard - a problem you weren’t even sure why you were worrying about at a time like that - and for another you weren’t sure you were in the right state to let him be your caretaker at that moment. You were so vulnerable and you didn’t want to hurt yourself further by being around the one man that held the key to making or breaking you. 
“Are you really going to fight me on this?” He asked, tilting his head down at you.
His forehead creased and he stared at you intently, willing you out with whatever mind powers he seemed to possess. That’s how it felt like with him sometimes. He had such a knack for getting what he wanted out of you, and to be truthful it was often better that way. He knew best. 
Apart from when he started that fight. 
You shivered and shook the thought from your mind, taking one last look at his unbudging frame. It was useless arguing with him. He was right anyway. You were in no state to get yourself home, you were bleary eyed and weak, you’d probably end up running a red light and ramming into another car knowing your luck. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, you thought darkly, you could only take so much more. 
However, you soon gave in. You went to unbuckle your seatbelt and finally realised in all your upset you hadn’t even done it up in the first place, so you awkwardly drew your hand back, looking up to see Price’s ‘I told you you weren’t fit to drive’ look. Your face flushed then and it felt like you’d touched the sun. 
You recovered eventually, then sighed and stood out from the seat, winding your way round to the passenger side and settling in. He joined you in the car after that, sitting in your driver's seat and rattling the car with his extra weight. From there he settled his shopping bag on his lap and pulled out a can of coke from its box and handed it to you.
From the small peak you’d gotten he had clearly meant for the juice to be a mixer for whatever crappy whiskey he’d gotten for himself, but there was little chance of him giving you any of that while you were in the state you were in. He had a rule about you drinking when you were upset. He was already shoving the bag in the back of the car by the time you’d even amusedly thought about asking about it. 
“There. You sit there a moment and drink that and I’ll get you home.”
“You don’t have to give me your shopping, John. You’re going out of your way enough as it is. You’re already leaving your car behind!” You said, motioning to his old Honda. “How will you get home after? You’re putting yourself out too much!”
“It’s just a can of juice, love. I reckon I’ll be good for it,” he snorted, finally starting up the car again. “And don’t you worry about me. Just focus on calming down and feeling better.”
It was comical watching him get used to your car again, almost enough to make you forget about the hell you’d driven away from. Price swore under his breath and grumbled as he worked his foot against the ‘stupid overly high clutch’ and ‘stiff bloody gearshift’, but he managed to get it out of the car park. Soon you were leaving the blurry red and blue lights of the shop in the distance. 
You said nothing for the duration of the drive. Instead you sat obediently and drank your coke, barely thinking of anything at all as the familiar sights of the city passed you by. The McDonald’s drive through, the old ratty furniture and charity shops that littered the streets before your own, and of course the pet store you always liked to visit. The one that Price always used to suck a breath in at (he always worried you’d come home with something one day). 
Meanwhile the coke bubbles fizzed and washed over your tongue, tickling at your dry throat. Admittedly it did help you to feel a little better as time went on. That with the added distraction of watching Price focusing intently on not stalling your car almost let you forget all about the shitty couple of days you’d just endured. 
Finally you rolled to a stop in a parking spot just a few steps away from your doorway and the rumbling growls of your car died. The fuzz of the silence burned at your ears and eventually it was too much, you clicked your tongue and turned to Price awkwardly offering him a half smile. You were about to brush him off with a thank you, but you were beaten to breaking the quiet streak before you could even open your mouth. 
“Are you going to tell me what he did?” He asked, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. 
You pursed your lips and played with the empty can in your hands, causing the aluminium to squeal as you squeezed it. You didn’t want to get into it all with him. You weren’t convinced you could make it through the story without crying again, and the last thing you needed was to go blubbering into his arms when you were trying to maintain some distance. Afterall, you reasoned that it was hardly his job to pick you up from an Ill advised rebound relationship. Plus he was the very reason you’d jumped into it in the first place. 
“Who said Reid did anything?” You murmured, digging your nails into the white logo of the can. 
“Captain’s intuition,” Price murmured, turning fully to you now. “You can tell me, You know. I don’t want you holding yourself up in that flat and crying alone for the rest of the night. It’d play on mind and neither of us would get any rest.”
“Don’t do that,” you moaned.
“Don’t do what?”
“Make me feel guilty for wanting to sort myself out.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I want you to feel better. And I know you won’t help yourself if I leave you alone right now.”
“I’m not a child,” you huffed, feeling your heart beginning to ache all over. “I can look after myself.”
Your chest was feeling heavy and all of a sudden you were overcome by dread. It felt like he was trying to reprise his old role again, but that’s not something he could just step right into. He couldn’t just pick up where he’d left off, you reasoned, there was hurt there and so many things left unsaid. If things went wrong he could leave you even more broken than you’d ever been before. You pictured yourself shattered like a china cup that had been dropped too many times. 
“You can look after yourself, can you?” Price asked, raising his brows. “Tell me right now that you’ll go and get yourself to bed and not end up worrying all night and having a panic attack at work tomorrow, and I’ll go. Tell me how you’re going to look after yourself and I’ll leave you to it, go on.” 
You withered under his gaze and folded your arms in on yourself, trying to apply pressure over your shaking torso. He was right of course. You’d envisioned in your head even before the car had stopped, shutting the door, shutting out the world and feeling the weight of it all avalanche over you. He knew you too well to think you’d take any other course of action, right down to the fact that you weren’t going to take any time off work. Which would ultimately lead to you crying in the bathroom like a schoolgirl. 
“John,” you whispered, “you can’t- we can’t-“
“This isn’t about us. It’s about you, and you needing someone to be there for you. Plain and simple. I’m not trying to invade my way into your life, I just don’t want you to spend all night torturing yourself over whatever happened…just let me help you. That’s all I’m asking… It’s all I want.”
He spoke so calmly and so softly you couldn't help but melt against his will. He was making too much sense. You didn’t really have the energy to argue either, so you just nodded and got out of the car, trying desperately not to start crying again. The thought of Price still caring so much about you was pulling you under into another tidal wave of upset, and you were fighting against the rough surf just to try and make it to your door.
Price led the way, bulleting up the steps just the way he always used to. He still had your keys,so he unlocked the door and held it open while he put his hand on the small of your back, gently ushering you through. You could feel the thin glue that was holding you together being peeled away. His reassuring smile and his steady presence were making it harder and harder to hold your face as it was. 
You could feel your lips go wobbly and your eyes welling up again and before you knew it you were throwing yourself into his arms and sobbing into them, rattling against him with your accompanying shaky hiccups. You weren’t even sure what you were crying about now. 
Sure, you were still upset about the weekend you’d just endured, but now you were also thinking about Price and all that you’d lost when you told him you didn’t want to see him anymore. You’d told him that that fight had ruined what you’d built, and had destroyed your trust and now more than ever you knew that that wasn’t true. 
It felt like John was the only person you could trust. He knew exactly what you needed and seemed to be there for you at all the right times, he looked after you and loved you and would do anything just to make you happy. He had been adamant at the time that he was justified for that fight, had worried you that it would happen again and you’d be put through the terrifying ordeal once more, but now you wondered if that had changed. If he’d realised what he’d done wrong, just as you had. 
You shouldn’t have walked away. He shouldn’t have stood his ground. 
You sniffled and tightened your grip on him, threading your fingers through his shirt and nuzzled into his neck. His scratchy beard tickled at your scalp, and his arms wound themselves securely around you and held you firmly against his warm body. Even through your stuffy nose, the intermingling scent of pine and cigars and cheap laundry detergent smelled like heaven in that moment and it calmed you. You’d been able to stop crying for a moment, and found yourself wiping your hands over your eyes and face yet again.
“There you go, love,” he murmured. “That’s better, isn’t it? You don’t have to fight your problems alone, you know. I’ve always said that to you, haven’t I? You don’t have to try to be so strong all the time.”
You scoffed at that, swallowing a thick lump in your throat. 
“Don’t feel very strong right now,” you sniffed.
“Not strong? Course you are. You always try to push through everything till I come along and stop you, eh? C’mon, why don’t we get you sitting down and get you a glass of water.”
You smiled at his comment and nodded, drifting into the comfort of being looked after by someone that knew you so well. 
Price took you over to the Sofa and fluffed up one of the pillows for you to sit against, not forgetting to unfold your favourite fluffy blanket in the process. He even wrapped it around you like a soft cloud, insulating you from the world. 
He then disappeared into your kitchen for a moment, rummaging around and running the tap in a couple of short bursts before returning with a full glass of water and another glass with what you presumed was jack daniels and coke. That one wasn’t going to be for you, but distantly you did wish that it was. Drinking your problems away and escaping reality sounded like a rather pleasant prospect. 
“Any chance you’d like to have the water?” you asked, smiling behind the blanket. 
He chuckled and set the water down on the coffee table next to you, keeping the jack and coke on hand for himself while he sat down across from you. Even though he was only on the opposite end of the couch he felt too far away.  
“Can’t have that. You’re not allowed to drink when you’re upset,” he said with a wink. “Against the rules.”
“Didn’t realise I still had to abide by those rules,” you retorted.
His eyes twitched a little, you could see something in his face change when you said that. You regretted it instantly. 
“No ones holding you to em’, but they’re still what’s best for you, are they not?” he shrugged, looking at you expectantly. 
Price had always been very good to you, and part of that was ensuring that you looked after yourself. So somewhere along the way in your relationship, when you’d been exploring each other’s kinkier sides, Price had set you some rules. Rules you had to follow on pain of a spanking. Sometimes it was a bother, but you’d come to realise that you’d never been healthier than when you’d been with him. You’d drank lots of water and made sure to go outside and go on walks when you could, and had refrained from falling back on alcohol when something was amiss. Just to think of a few rules.
He was correct in saying that they were what’s best. It was just difficult when he wasn’t around to enforce them. 
“You’re usually right,” you said with an appeasing smile. “Doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to forget this whole weekend over a bottle of wine and a big box of cake though.”
He laughed at that, all traces of consternation wiped from his face as he must have pictured you with your go to coping mechanisms before you met him. You laughed too when you remembered the night he’d barged in on you eating and drinking your sorrows after a rough day at work. He’d had the joy of hauling you to bed afterward while you babbled on about how people had been so mean to you and how you wanted to set fire to the whole place and never go back there again. 
“Well in lieu of wine and cake, you have water or I can go make you a tea. Would you like that?”
“No, its fine, the water’s good,” you said dismissively, finally picking up the cool glass with your dewy palms. “I just wish I could forget this whole weekend. It’s been a disaster.”
“Oh yeah? You ready to talk about it?”
You breathed in a sharp breath and tilted your head to the side.
Fuck it, you thought. 
“Reid aired our dirty laundry in front of all of his friends and then proceeded to cheat on me,” you said, raising your water glass in toast before taking a swig. “That was after everyone made fun of me the whole time too.”
Price let out a short little laugh. He was incredulous. 
“Cheated on you?”
“His ex kissed him and he uh- didn’t exactly try to get away from her,” you shrugged, voice breaking 
“What a fuckin’ fool,” He growled. “He kissed his ex right in front of you?”
“He didn’t know I was there, I don’t think so anyway. I was supposed to be away getting drinks, but I came back to ask him what he wanted because they were out of beer and- well…yeah.”
“Doesn’t make it any better. What kind of an idiot would cheat on you?”
You felt your cheeks warm and shrugged again. Price had his faults, but he’d never hurt you like that. He was too old fashioned. A one person at a time kind of man. 
“I guess it wasn’t really an amazing relationship to begin with anyway,” you sighed, reflecting over the month you’d had. 
“No?”
“When I asked him where he saw things going, he said ‘I dunno. You want me to be your boyfriend or something?’ and then that was how we made things official,” you recounted, finally realising that maybe what had happened was for the best. 
Price groaned and put a hand over his face. It reminded you of the time that you’d announced to him that you were going to buy a flying squirrel after you’d seen a cute video of one - something you often took to claiming with an array of different animals - and he’d worried you might be serious. He’d taken his hand off his face at the time and said ‘darlin with the amount of stuff I’ve had flying at me over the years, I’m not sure my heart could take being assaulted by an airborne rodent in the night.’
“You must be drawn to muppets or something,” Price mused. “You deserve a lot better than that.”
“I was with you last, wasn’t I?”
“Exactly,” He smirked. “Point proven.”
You smiled back at him and shook your head - Price and Reid weren’t comparable. Price cared for you too much, that’s why he ended up in that fight in the first place and that’s why he couldn’t comprehend that he was wrong for escalating things after you’d been shoved. Reid didn’t really care for you that much at all. It wasn’t like you’d made a massive effort for Reid either, but at the very least you hadn’t gone and let Price lick half your face off. 
“You let me down at the end there, I’ll give you that…but before all that, you were the best thing that I’ve ever had in my life…Even when I wasn’t with you and you were in all those far off countries, and I used to whine and moan about you being away a lot, it was better than when I was actually alone, better than anything with anyone else too.”
“Love,” Price breathed, not knowing what to say.
You stared at him then and felt your heart burst. The floodwaters opened then, you coudln’t help yourself as you saw the sad sheen of his glistening eyes. 
“These past few months I think I’ve really come to see what a stupid mistake I made. I shouldn’t have told you things were over before you left. I should’ve just stuck it out till you got back and we could’ve talked about it all properly. I was just scared and angry and I didn’t know what else to do. Now I know though…now I know what I should’ve done. Just tragically too late, huh?”
You whispered your confession, too afraid to look at him anymore as you said it, instead casting your eyes down to your blanket while you played with the soft material between your fingers. You huffed out a breath afterwards and looked up at Price, noticing the way his jaw clenched and his hand tightened on his glass. His knuckles were almost bone white.
Had you said too much? Were you going to chase him away? Who knows if he’d moved on and was really just trying to be there and be a friend for you. 
For a split second you worried that you’d gone too far with your venting, but Price didn’t leave you hanging for long. He leaned forward and put a hand on your thigh just as you were about to apologise and held eye contact with you, keeping a firm hold of you and your attention. 
“Darlin’...do you really mean all that?”
Your eyes would’ve welled up again if you had anything left to cry. 
“Yes,” you breathed. “I’m sorry, but yes. It’s been all that I’ve thought about since I saw you last week.”
“Sorry? What’re you sorry for?” he said, laughing gently, searching your face.
“It’s not fair to tell you something like that. I’m basically ambushing you with all my feelings right now and you’ve been nice enough to drive me home and look after me, when all you were trying to do was get some shopping in and now you’re here listening to me blubber about my stupid feelings, when I haven’t asked you how you feel and how you’ve been doing and you probably don’t even want me by this point, because look at me and big tear streaked face, and-”
Price cut you off mid ramble, moving in closer to you and taking your face in his hands. They were rough and familiar and they were warm, and they held you steady just as you felt like you were going to come apart again. You breathed, but it didn’t feel like your lungs were able to hold onto the air. They were fighting for space with your booming heartbeat. 
“Angel…you really- do you think,” he had to pause for a moment, his voice crackling. “Do you think maybe it’s not too late to talk more about it? Not now, course, but… you think you’d want to give us another chance?”
You pursed your lips and looked down. Angel. His favourite nickname for you, the special one he reserved only for you. You looked back up to his wide blue eyes and nodded. It seemed like you were glittering in the reflection of them.
“Yes…One day,” you smiled. 
Price smiled back, his moustache turning up with his lips. 
“One day,” he repeated, voice full of wonder. 
Neither of you said anything for a second. You both just stared, tension mounting as the air felt so thick that you could craft shapes with it. It felt like neither or you was sure of your next move, but suddenly you got a burst of courage and you decided to take a leap of faith.
You kissed him. You leaned forward just slightly and took his mouth in yours, pecking at first until he kissed back and eventually your world was bursts of stars and hints of jack and coke. The taste of him landed deliciously on your tongue. Your heart pounded harder than ever at that point, but it was ok, because you could feel his beating erratically just the same.  
You moaned.
“Please, daddy...”
You let the words loose before you could even think about it. What is it they say about old habits…?
“Shit, hold on, I-” you sputtered, breaking away from Price completely. 
“Language!” he chuckled, his laugh low and earthy.
You paused and looked at him measuredly, trying to parse out what had just happened. In the wake of all the familiarity, you’d resorted to your old name for him. Apparently he wasn’t against its resurrection, he’d found it amusing in fact. You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth, searching for the right words, but you weren’t entirely decided between apologising or asking if he liked it.
“Don’t look so worried, Angel,” he soothed, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. “You can still call me that if you like. Or are you apologising for kissing me?”
“But…well…isn’t it a bit unfair for you..y’know, since we haven’t really completely resolved things yet? I can’t just go around kissing you out of the blue and calling you daddy and we haven’t even talked about-”
“Would you stop rambling on about what’s fair and right,” Price admonished, rolling his eyes, “I don’t care about what you’ve been doing all these months, I don’t care about doing things by whatever rules people normally go by. All this time, all I’ve wanted is you, and now you’re here in front of me telling me you want to give things another go…I’ll take as much as you’ll give me. So tell me…do you want to kiss me? Will that make you happy? It would make me happy.”
You took a breath and nodded.
“Words, Angel,” he admonished. 
“Y-yes,” you stuttered, feeling like your head had been sparked with a jump lead. 
“Very good,” he praised, whispering lowly into your ear. 
You shivered as you felt the words zip down your spine. You hummed with the praise and felt your body warm up considerably, feeling entirely too hot all of a sudden.
Price soon gathered you in his arms like clay and moulded you into his lap, untangling you from your blanket nest and switching places so that he was propped against the arm and you were leaning snugly against him. With you both comfortably in place, he put one hand on your hip while he held the back of your neck with the other, and gently placed a couple of kisses on your neck, sending your spine alight with tingles. 
“And would you like to call me daddy again?” he asked again, still murmuring deep and low. 
You swore then that he’d disturbed a horde of butterflies that you didn’t know had been dormant all that time inside your tummy. Your heart was fluttering along with them.
“Um, yeah, I mean- yes. Yes.”
“Yes, what?” he urged, kissing your neck. “You know how to answer properly. I know you do.”
Were you in a fantasy of your own making? Had you died and gone to heaven?
“Y-yes, daddy,” you whimpered, nuzzling your head into his chest. 
“Oh…” he breathed, voice all growly and needy. “That’s my sweet Angel. So good for me.”
You could’ve died then and there. You couldn’t imagine ever feeling happier. You didn’t care if it was a fever dream, coma hallucination or a psychedelic induced fugue state. All you wanted was to be with Price again, and with him reassuring you and praising you and holding you in his arms like that, why would you try to fight it? 
You unburrowed yourself from his chest and scanned over his face, admiring his crinkly eyed smile and scruffy face for a moment before kissing him again, wrapping your arms around him snug just in case it really was all a dream. You wouldn’t let it fade away. You were going to hold on tightly. You’d continue to kiss his fluffy bearded face and welcome every sensation as it rooted you in your dreamlike reality.
You intertwined yourself with him and moaned, returning his kisses with fervent need and roamed your hands around his back, eventually bringing a hand up so that you could thread your fingers through his wiry dark hair. The bristle of it jolted through you and you smiled against his lips.
“That feel good, hm?” he growled, “I can feel you bucking your hips against me, love.”
You felt your cheeks burn like hot coals and refused to meet his eyes, instead settling your chin on his shoulder. You hadn’t realised you’d been doing it, but now that he’d mentioned it you finally registered the sway of your body gliding over his and noticed the growing hardness underneath you. 
Fuck.
“That does feel good,” you whimpered, not embarrassed enough to stop yourself. “Feels so good, daddy.”
“Mhmm? Feels good for me too. I love feeling your body on mine,” he hummed, kissing the side of your neck. “You’re so gorgeous, you know that? So so perfect.”
You whined and nuzzled against his neck, drawing out a low groan from him as your nose connected with his tender flesh. You slowly returned the favour, kissing him just as he’d been kissing you and showing him exactly how it felt to have your body set alight with prickling heat. You smiled as he continued to moan with you, but it didn’t last long.
He snatched the upper hand back, and propelled you both forward, forcing you to lie back on the couch, on top of your blanket, while he took his place on top of you. He ground his hips into yours and had you eking out the most salacious moans, filling the room with the sound of your pleasure. 
“I love it when you moan for me like that, I’ve missed that sound so much,” Price rumbled, “do you want more? Would you like that?”
“Mm, yes,” you keened. “More, daddy. I want to feel you.”
“Wanna feel me, hm? Ok, Angel. Lets get these clothes off shall we?”
You moaned just at the suggestion and eagerly complied, sitting up a little and helping him to remove your top and trousers until you were naked below him. You were about to ensure that he matched you in kind, but the only thing he’d allowed you to remove was his shirt, hastily popping the buttons off like you were unwrapping a present. He’d put his hand over yours at his trousers and given you a wicked grin, a glint appearing in his azure eyes. 
“Uh uh, don’t you worry about that,” he smiled, bringing your hand up to his lips so that he could kiss it. “We’re focusing on you right now.”
“But I wanna make you feel good too,” you whined, tilting your head.
“I know you do,” he laughed, gently pushing you back down so that you were flush to the couch. “Just trust me, this will make me feel very good. Just let me treat you like you deserve.”
He didn’t allow you any more time for backchat. You whimpered as he fastened his mouth around one of your nipples and you writhed at the sensation, moaning low in your throat when he trailed his hand down your body, past the swell of your belly and drifted down below. You were bucking your hips against him slowly again, creating friction between you and his hand. 
He alternated between nipples for a moment, swirling and flicking his tongue while he lazily rubbed his palm against you, not in a rush to try and urge you to a finish. He savoured you and sent your body sparking and prickling like a freshly lit firecracker. Your breathing was getting heavier and your stomach was tightening and coiling and it only grew more and more erratic as he started to move down your body, kissing his way down to the opening between your thighs. 
“So good for me lying there. So obedient. You always do what daddy tells you, don’t you?” he growled, planting a kiss just below your belly. 
“Mm, yes,” you breathed, struggling to think of any words
“Yes what?” Price asked, nipping the meat of your thigh and drawing out a yelp.
“Yes, daddy!” 
He was using his tongue on you now, swirling it around and tasting you, savouring your pleasure. You swallowed the lump in your throat and clutched at the couch cushion next to you, scrunching the thick material in your hand, clutching it for support. It didn’t take long until he fell into a steady rhythm, using his mouth and hands on you and sending you into a spiral.
Your mind was barely present anymore, you were only good to use a couple words and no more. Everything else was just moans while your head felt like it was turning to mush. You breathed deeply and heavily and thrust your hips against Price, feeling the coil in your belly tighten all the more, feeling the stars in your eyes turn from constellations and into tiny galaxies and universes. 
“I- um- Daddy, I-”
“Are you gonna cum for me, love?” Price rasped.
“Yes!”
“Go on then. Cum for me. Show me how good I make you feel, Angel.”
You groaned and the swelling feeling in your head boiled to breaking point. You shuttered your eyes closed tightly and squeezed the couch cushion tightly, moaning out as your orgasm washed over you. The wave of pleasure rushed over your body and after a big rush of pleasure, it lapped slowly over you, gently receding until you were left a shaking twitching mess underneath your lovers body. 
“Oh my god,” you breathed, blinking away the fuzziness form your eyes. “Holy…Moly.”
Price looked up at you from between your thighs and barked out a laugh, clutching his head in his hand while the other gripped your shaking thigh. Once he recovered from your outburst, he shook his head and clambered up your body, coming to a rest against next to you, and drawing you into his arms. 
He was rock hard against you, but there was very little you could do about it in the state you were in. You just bustled yourself into him and lay your head against the warm expanse of his chest and sighed happily, basking in the aftershocks of your happy ending he rubbed your arms. 
“You’re not gonna let me return the favour, are you?” You’d mumbled eventually, rutting up against him for emphasis. 
“Got plenty time for that, Angel,” he said gently redirecting you off of his throbbing centre. “Just wanted to make you feel good. You’ve had such a rough day, you deserved something to take your mind off it all.”
He placed a kiss on top of your head then and drew you closer, wrapping his arm tighter around you. You sighed and ran your fingers along it, feeling the little dark hairs tickle at your finger tips. You came to a stop at his palm and lightly traced over his lifeline, it was illuminated by the soft glow of your lamp. 
“How come you were out shopping so late?” You asked sleepily, letting your hand drop and rest at Price’s side. 
He shrugged at first, rocking your body with the movement.
“Sat around feelin’ a bit useless today,” he said eventually, sighing deeply. “Didn’t have anything lined up for myself, so eventually I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I went all the way out to the hills and was out for hours, didn’t get back until after dark and then i realised I didn’t have anything to eat. How come?”
“I dunno…i guess its just a little funny that you ended up in that car park just when I needed you to be there. Like fate or something,” you murmured. 
He chuckled at that and kissed your head again. The sound washed over you like spring rain.
“You know I don’t normally subscribe to rubbish like that, but on this occasion…it feels like there’s something to that theory.”
“Yeah? Feel’s like a good thing to be saddled with me again, does it?” you smirked, trying to cover up how worried you were about being a burden.
No matter how good he’d made you feel only moments before you couldn’t help the rush of paranoia from kicking in. The feeling that Price was going to realise that you were too much to be with, that you needed him more than he needed you. It had begun to feel like the past few months were a great demonstration of that. He’d survived a warzone and gotten through deployment while you holed yourself up for over a month from grief and then jumped into a failed relationship in the making just to try and get over him. 
“Listen to me, love, before you get any big ideas about this being some kind of hardship for me again…This past week that I’ve been back has been miserable. Deployment was bad, but I had a bit of distraction over there at least. When I got back here, and realised what life was really like without you? That was hell. You give me purpose, Angel. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now, than cuddled up with you on the couch. There’s no one else I’d rather be with, no one in the whole world.”
He swallowed harshly and continued on. 
“When I thought I’d lost you forever I was so angry with myself, I realised right away when I got on that plane that I should’ve just admitted that you were right. You were right, and I shouldn’t of hurt that man like that. I lost control of myself and I was too stubborn to hear that he wasn’t really a threat. I wanted to call you and tell you that, but I figured you’d been hurt enough and the last thing you needed was me playing with your feelings and trying to work things out while I was away. I reckoned that if I came back and you were open to give things a go again I’d make sure to fix things, but if you wanted to keep me out your life then…well I’d have wished you the best. Whatever happens between us, now or in the future, I want you know that I only ever want what’s best for you, because I…”
He trailed off, peering toward the lamp and letting his eyes blur into its amber glow. You stared up at him from your place on his chest and smiled, watching the way his lips tried to form to finish his sentence. He was pensive, he wasn’t sure whether to say them or not. 
“Because you love me?” you smiled, swivelling so that you faced him fully. 
You finally had a little strength flood back into your body, so you hoisted yourself up and lay on your tummy, folding your arms over his chest and resting your chin on top of them. He tilted his head at you and smiled, affirming your words with a tight nod.
“I’ll always love you,” he sighed, “No matter what. Just wasn’t sure if it was entirely appropriate to say that to you just yet.”
“John, you just threw me around and made me cum while I called you daddy - appropriate ran out the door and flew to the moon like a half hour ago,” you giggled. 
He laughed with you and shook his head, clearly in as much disbelief as you were that this was really happening. You were back in each others arms, just where you were always meant to be. You sighed and he ran his hand over your head, stroking his fingers through your hair and sending your head into a fuzzy daze with the feeling of his gentle touch. 
“You make a good point,” he agreed. “Always have struggled with moving at a normal pace, haven’t we?”
“Yeah, I think that was pretty apparent from the moment we met,” you agreed.
“I’ll never forget the look on Gaz’s face that night he opened that door,” he mused, getting that stupid smile on his face that he always got at the memory of the time you’d met - and immediately fucked. 
“I hate when you bring that up,” you groaned, giving his arm a playful slap. “He was so pleased he’d introduced us before he walked in on us!”
“Well, serves him right for not knocking,” he winked, “it's rude to barge in on a superior officer.”
“Ugh! You’re lucky I love you too, or I’d be getting up and locking that bedroom door,” you groaned. “I hate the superior officer line!”
He smiled at that, his face brightening instantly. You’d said it back. His eyes were perfect crescents. You loved when they did that, sparkling outwardly to you through shuttered lids. He was like a cuddly koala bear. 
“You know what?” he said suddenly, his voice low and soft.
“What?” you asked, frowning as his tone shifted.
“You’re going to let me take you for dinner tomorrow,” he announced.
“I am?” you smirked, relaxing instantly. 
“Yes you are. We’re going to go to dinner and talk everything through and we’re going to set everything right again. Then after that we’re going to put all this nonsense behind us, yeah?”
You giggled lightly at his commanding tone, but you didn’t disagree, you nodded. You fastened your arms around him and cuddled into him close, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as you settled into his perfectly warm body. Your eyes started to flutter as you did, growing heavy as you became more and more aware of how drained you actually were.
“I think I like the sound of that,” you sighed, closing your eyes completely.
Price squeezed your shoulder and gathered you close, rubbing his cheek against the top of your head. His beard scratched at your scalp again. 
“Good,” he yawned. “That sounds good to me too…”
-💘-
1 week later
Tumblr media
You were sorting out some grand emergency at work and Price was in your flat alone. He’d had a shower and gotten himself half dressed, too eager to get something to eat to put a shirt on. So he stood in your little kitchen in front of the window, bathing in the spring sunlight, eating a bowl of cereal to himself as his damp hair dried from his strategic position. 
Just like he’d said, you had fixed things at dinner the night after you’d reconciled - and from there on it was almost like things had completely gone back to normal. Almost. When you’d turned your phone on the next day, you were greeted with a torrid of horrible messages and some hundred missed calls from Reid. However, with Price there, you didn’t really let any of it bother you. 
Not much anyway.
He held you through your upset and after a quiet minute of figuring out what to do, you messaged Reid a short, matter of fact text. You told him that you were in fact serious about your decision, you reminded him that - no - you weren’t drunk when you’d left, you weren’t ‘being crazy’ and would even be generous enough to put his things he’d left at yours into a box for him to collect, should he decide to be grown up enough to come over and get them.
You’d gotten a million more missed calls after that and a flurry of messages, but after hearing Price’s words of encouragement, you ignored them all. After a few days they stopped coming, and a few days after that you assumed that that was it. That he was out of your life for good. Thank god.
However, Reid had decided he wasn’t going to go completely quietly. Well, he was forced into not going quietly. After being egged on by his friends, he was put in a tricky position and realised that he wasn’t going to be able to back down. At their insistence he was going to turn up to your place unannounced and confront you when you were least expecting it - give you a piece of his mind while you were unprepared and unable to defend your ‘completely mental overreaction’.
At least that was how it was supposed to go.
Though, when he’d pounded on the door and had someone other than you answer, his smile dropped. His face was practically tripping him when he realised who it was that answered.
“Can I help you?” Price asked, crunching on a spoonful of cereal, completely unbothered. 
“Can you…help me?” Reid repeated, incredulous.
“Certainly can,” Price grinned, leaning against the doorframe. “That’s why I offered.”
“What the fuck are you doing here? Where’s that hypocrite that’s clearly cheated on me?”
Reid was furious. He couldn’t believe that he was made to feel like such an asshole for kissing someone else when you’d been with the geriatric behind his back the whole time. He was fuming
“Hypocrite? I believe you two were broken up after that little stunt you pulled, mate,” Price corrected, putting his cereal bowl down on the entry table. “Why don’t you just settle down and stay here while I get your little box of shit. Then you can be on your way.”
“You think I’m just going to go while you’re making me look like a mug? You went and swooped in on someone that’s taken and think you can just walk around naked like you own the place now because they slutted themselves out to you?”
“Careful, son,” Price growled. “Better choose your words more carefully.”
“Or what? You’re gonna kill me?” Reid laughed. “You don’t intimidate me, old man. You’d lose your job over something like that. Guy like you would go to prison for a long time.”
Price chuckled to himself and nodded his head, quirking his lips into an upside down smile. It didn’t meet his eyes though. They didn’t turn to crescents, they just stayed slitted ever so slightly, glaring at the absolute maggot before him. 
Price would’ve loved to have taught that shit eating little cunt a lesson. Though he knew already that any kind of physical violence would have you both on the rocks again, and after he’d just gotten you back he wasn’t ready to jeopardise things. However that wasn’t to say that he wasn’t prepared for Reid’s visit, oh no. He had more weapons at his disposal than the average man - he knew plenty of people in lots of places, both high and low, powerful and shady. 
“Little old fella like me couldn’t do damage like that,” Price sighed, putting his hand over his heart like he was weary. “I have other things I can do though. Don’t even need to bother laying a hand on a little weasel like you.”
“Oh yeah like what?” Reid laughed, hoisting himself up to the last step and getting into Price’s face. “You gonna get some army buddy of yours to rough me up or something, pay me a visit and scare me? If that happens I’ll record the whole thing.I’ll get you done for it! All my friends know about you, they’d back me up that you were behind it all.”
Price shook his head and sent a quick message off on his phone, quickly taking it out of his pocket and burying it back in again in a flash. After that, he proceeded to pick his cereal back up and ate another spoonful, scrunching up his face when he realised it had mostly lost its crunch. Well, he made a face at that and the fact that Reid was still there and giving him that stupid challenging little look.
“Sounds like I’d get into a lot of bother for that,” Price agreed, swirling his spoon around his bowl. “I’d just hate for you to have recordings…mind you, I don’t think I’ll have to worry too much about those. You’ll be too busy trying to unfuck your life to bother about me.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Reid frowned.
Reid threw him a gesture as if to ask what the hell, and Price shrugged, taking one last bite of his less than tasty cereal. He resolved to himself that he’d pour another bowl and get himself to the shops. He’d hate for you to be running low - it was important to him that you ate afterall. All a part of making sure you were looked after and cared for.
“I said - what’s that supposed to mean!” Reid gritted out, poking a finger into Price’s chest.
Price growled and shot him a warning glare, sending the younger man flying back with just the change in demeanour alone. Reid looked stupid then, holding his palm out like he was going to try and karate chop Price.
“Why don’t you run home and go check your credit score and bank accounts, hm?”
“What? What are you talking about?” Reid laughed, taking his phone out of his pocket. “Are you actually trying to pretend like you can do something like-”
Reid trailed off and frowned down at his device, hurriedly tapping the screen as his brows knitted tighter together.
“Ugh, what an absolute dinosaur I am,” Price grunted, shaking his head at himself. “You can check all these things on your phone nowadays. Plonker. Anyway, like I said - have fun trying to work all that out.”
Price went to shut the door, but grunted when Reid stuck his foot in it before he could close it fully. He glared when he almost spilled his cereal on himself, the milk had splashed up against the sides and a little had dribbled onto his foot. Other than that he was mostly uncovered. Reid was safe from having the rest splashed all over him.
“I’m going to the Police about this! You hear me? I’m going to report this and you’ll be in so much fucking trouble!” Reid vowed, wrenching the door back open. “Fix this right now! Fix it now, or I’ll do it. I’ll go to the police.”
“Go to the police then. But what’re you gonna tell them exactly? ‘Oh, my ex’s boyfriend has frozen all of my money and tanked my credit score! Do something, Mr. Officer!’ Sounds a bit fucking looney, doesn’t it?”
Reid looked at him with wide eyes, withdrawing his foot from the doorway as Price laughed at him, frowning as the realisation fully sunk in. He could report the crime, but he had no idea how Price had even managed to do it in the first place. Something like that would require the help of dodgy people, the likes of which Reid couldn’t even comprehend. 
And if he could do all that to Reid’s finances…after, presumably, sending a single text…then what else would Price be capable of?
Reid backed away fully and looked at Price and down at his phone, then back to Price and back down at his phone, locked in a state of disbelief. What the fuck had just happened. His heart dropped and his mouth got dry. It was like he’d forgotten how to breathe.
“Watch that last step, son. I’d hate for you to hurt yourself,” Price called, grabbing the door so that he could finally shut it. “If you know what’s good for you you should stay away from here and never send another pig headed message again. Never know - It might help your little money situation. Might not help, mind you, but it certainly couldn’t hurt, could it? Good bye, now.”
And with that Price closed the door and retreated back inside, leaving Reid to stand stupidly on the grass out front while he struggled to comprehend what had just happened. 
There, Price thought, things are just as they should be now. He smirked to himself as washed up his cereal bowl, replaying what had just happened in his head. Thank you Nik. Guess I owe you a beer, mate. 
4K notes · View notes
meanbossart · 16 days
Note
I LOVE DU drow and I love your art style! I also really like how you draw Astarion's hair, it looks flowy but still with his trademark curls.
Can you give any advice on drawing Astarion's hair? I find it a nightmare to draw. Whenever I free hand it, it just doesn't have the amount of curliness I want, and when I try to use a reference it ends up looking rather stiff.
Take care and thanks for the art 😊
THANK YOU though to be honest I'm shocked to find this ask in my inbox because every time I draw Astarion a war is waged between me and his hairdo. But sure, lets give this a shot!
First of all I feel like its a good idea not to be too attached to his in-game model hair when drawing unless your style is very realistic. The only reason why that dry-noodle helmet looks so regal and bouncy is because of the high-detailed graphics. Like you mentioned yourself and many of us have experienced, if you try and stick to it too closely in most art-styles it just ends up looking terribly stiff.
Instead, I suggest just keeping growth-direction and shape in mind and applying as much movement as you want to it when you draw it. Here's some things to remember that might help you with that:
Tumblr media
-I employ the liquify tool a lot when sketching his hair because I never get it big enough on the first try, lol. This can also aid you with "distorting" more curliness into your lines if you aren't used to doing that right off the bat, just try not to become too reliant on it!
-I usually leave the areas around the ears and back alone but imply a lot of movement with the top and front of the hair, taking as many liberties as I want even if it's not entirely faithful to the model. I feel like the impression of curliness comes entirely from the silhouette of the hair and little fly-ways that I add, and everything else I just try to do without overthinking it too much for a more natural look.
In truth, I feel like a lot of times we get stuck on things like parting-placement, right amount of curl, which brush we're using yada-yada when in reality we are neglecting what actually makes a character's hair recognizable: Hairline, growth pattern, and shape. If you get these three things right I feel like everything else is entirely just stylistic choice. It's worth pulling away for a moment and checking on these things if you feel like you're continually unhappy with your outcome!
Tumblr media
-Astarion has a hairline capable making most men over 30 cry. It's very low on the forehead and tight on the temples with the slightest hint of a widow's peak. As someone who drew a lot of big-foreheaded characters with receding hairlines prior, this was a STRUGGLE for me to get used to and a big reason why I felt like I couldn't get his hair to look "right" for the longest time.
-His hair swoops to the right side of his face in a fanning kind of shape and is the longest at the front and top. You can imply a strong part if you want, you can split it into sections, you can have it falling over his forehead or not at all - as long as it's going in the right direction you will probably be fine.
-A mistake I would catch myself making often was getting the shape totally wrong - making it too slick at the top and putting all the volume in the back when that's pretty much the exact opposite of what his hair does. IT'S ALL AT THE FRONT AND TOP, REPEAT IT TO YOURSELF LIKE IT'S A MANTRA: IT'S ALL AT THE FRONT AND TOP.
And lastly, if you absolutely hate how his hair looks or hate to draw it, you can forego all of this and just do whatever you want. These tips are only worth something if you like how I draw his hair specifically.
Hopefully this was helpful at all!
591 notes · View notes
fixfoxnox · 9 months
Note
Mw2 headcannons where Shepherd kills us as bait and sends a video of it to the team...
Oh boy oh boy this is dark isn't it? This should be fun though. Not sure if you wanted this as romantic or friendship so I'll try to toe the line.
141 Sent A Video of Reader Dying
Tumblr media
Warnings: Reader Death, gunshots
Price is the one the video gets sent to, Shepherd knows that if it gets to Price the rest of the 141 will see it too
Price has been stressed about you being taken hostage by Shepherd, and while he's tried not to think the worst, he knows immediately what the video is as soon as it shows up.
The second he looks at it and sees no letter or anything attached, a part of him just knows. A part of him starts grieving right then.
For the rest of the 141, Gaz and Soap had been staying pretty positive.
It was clear that Gaz was feeding off of a lot of Price's energy, so while he knew the possibility, he'd been cautiously optimistic about getting you back.
He was one of the younger members of the team and while he'd seen death, it had never been anything as close as this. So in his mind, the possibility of you dying just didn't seem real.
There was no world for him in which he wouldn't eventually see you again and get to have your warmth to brighten up his days.
For Soap, he wasn't even letting himself consider the bad that could happen.
Even when Price and Ghost were trying to keep him realistic, to him there was just no world in which you didn't come back. He never even questioned it for a second.
Your disappearance didn't seem to bother him, because he expected that by the next week you'd be right back at his side, teasing him about something or the other.
For Ghost, he was probably the most pessimistic of the group.
Ghost has seen loss. He's seen loss and he knows what men like Shepherd are capable of, what they'll do to prove a point
So the second that Ghost hears that Shepherd has you, he practically already starts grieving.
He's more quiet and reserved from the rest of the group and when he refers to you, its already in past tense.
He and Soap butt heads a lot during this time. Ghost isn't being positive enough for Soap's taste, and Soap isn't being realistic enough for Ghost's.
Several times, Ghost just closes his eyes and tries to picture your voice and your face. He wants to commit you to memory, keep everything fresh enough that he can't forget.
Roach doesn't know what to think.
He's worried out of his mind and his brain keeps bouncing between grief and determination to get you back.
A part of him wants to just sit still and do nothing, a part of him is frozen in that state, just numbness as it tries to work through what is happening
The other part of him is working his ass off. This part doesn't care about processing what happened, it just wants to have you back.
He's already planning your return meal, the breakfast and lunch and dinner he'll make for you as he recovers.
Similar to Price, as soon as Ghost see's the tape, he knows.
Price walks in to the meeting room with it, Laswell trailing behind him and Ghost sees the little tape in his hand and his mouth just snaps shut. He doesn't say a word.
Price warns the group flat out. He tells them whats likely on the tape, he tells them that if they don't want to watch, if they don't want the chance of seeing, then they can leave
None of them leave. They can't, not when it comes to you. They have to see.
The video starts and immediately they're all on edge. There's you, tied to a chair in some dark and dank room.
You look tired and even over the video they can see the cuts and bruises on your skin, the way your clothes are torn and cut, how defeated you look.
Shepherd starts talking. He's walking around you, stopping behind you to place his hand on your shoulders. When he does you flinch.
Soap is seething as he watches the video. Roach seems frozen in place, Gaz is wringing his hands together nervously, Ghost hasn't moved a muscle, but his whole body is tense. Price seemed defeated.
They only pick up on bits and pieces of what Shepherd says, they're so focused on you.
They pick up on Shepherd saying that you've given them nothing, stayed loyal and kept your mouth shut no matter what they tried. Each of the boys feels pride flood through them at that.
But, of course, the video has to end and Shepherd brings things to a close.
He stops behind you in the video. "If we can't get anything from them, the least we can do is send a message."
He pulls his gun out. You don't flinch as you feel it press against the back of your head. You just stare forward at the camera, unmoving.
The gunshot rings out and your body slumps forward. The video cuts off and the 141 are left in the silence of what they've just seen.
It doesn't take long for tears to start falling. For Soap to collapse with his face in his hands against the table. For Gaz to look to Price, hoping to see something only to be met with the signs of clear grief on his face. For Roach to feel tears slide down his cheeks as he stares forward, completely unmoving. For Ghost to get up and leave the room, unable to sit with the group any longer as grief consumes them.
A cloud lays over the 141, they've lost one of their own. They have to start grieving.
1K notes · View notes
tojipie · 4 months
Note
Hello my love! I know you’ve been gone for a while but I wanted to stop by and ask if you have any realistic but unhinged toji headcannons? Hopefully this gets you into the spirit of writing again, I don’t mean to overstep. We miss you❤️.
hello sweet anon :( i’ve admittedly been struggling with my mental health a whole ton which is why i’ve been gone but this ask really did help me get back into the groove of writing just a bit <3 thank u for stopping by ! mwah
this is just me saying shit to say it pls don't take this srsly !
content: fluff, mentions of alc, smoking, suggestive talk but not smut, a little angst
Tumblr media
was a victim of the xandemic in his late 20s so one of his pupils is a little bigger than the other
initially hated ambulances because of the absurd cost but grew to hate them even more because the attention makes him uncomfortable. oh you want to take his blood pressure? ew, don’t touch him. that’s weird. would rather patch himself up than sit under a gaggle of fluorescent lights for 6 hours in an ER waiting room.
shiu has been a co-signer on every apartment he’s ever rented because his credit score is in the single digits.
picked up vaping on accident after the corner store ran out of cigs when he needed them most. still prefers marlboros because he likes that searing feeling in the back of his throat. throws the cartons out his car window like a freak.
his drivers license is crumpled. like physically crumpled like paper. he has no idea how it happened but when he needs to use it at the liquor store he definitely gets stares.
will forever be devoted to his late wife. mentally at least. she’s the love of his life but in his mind sex with other women isn’t really cheating right? like he uses a condom sometimes so it’s fine probably? he's not gonna stay celibate for the rest of his life. the topic keeps him up at night.
has a scar from an appendectomy right above his v line that women go crazy for. he’s not entirely sure what they like about it but he’s been touched there so many times that it’s morphed into an erogenous zone.
slut for fast food. would rather get a vanilla shake and dip his fries in it till his stomach hurts than spend time at a sit-down restaurant. eats like shit but still maintains his physique, infuriatingly enough.
hates being in public more than you’d think. it’s a deeply uncomfortable feeling that stems from the risk that being discovered poses during jobs. he prefers to have groceries ordered, meals delivered, and shiu take his car down to the shop if needed. if hes out and about he’s either at the casino tables or the liquor store.
is down for whatever if the price is right. like truly. older women love what he has going on which works well in his favor because it puts a roof over his head. absolutely no shame once money is involved.
has tried to get help for his gambling addiction a few brief times. got close once and then decided to hit the blackjack tables to celebrate his progress. he jokes about how things ended up from time to time but deep down he knows it’s pretty serious.
shops at the goodwill bins mostly. made an effort to stop stealing as much because of how dirt cheap the thrift is but couldn't stick to it. likes to go down the jeans isle and look for change in the pockets. his biggest score was a 5 dollar bill that had been through the washer so many times it was practically blank.
there's a little voice in the back of his head telling him to have more kids and he's not opposed to listening.
544 notes · View notes
moon7jay · 4 months
Text
Enhypen with a s/o who suffers from an ED (hyung line)
Tumblr media
Warnings : ed behaviours, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, self depreciation, suggestive in jay's, fluff, comfort, triggering content ahead, please proceed with caution<3
Requested by .・゜゜・ @onlyni-kis (I tried my best to make it realistic, I hope it helps you somehow)
Tumblr media
Heeseung
He'd be so attentive and accomodating to your needs. As someone with an Ed, you're often not taken seriously. Your mental problems are not considered valid. And so you usually avoid social settings where people can pass up unnecessary comments on your body or eating choices and heeseung never pressures you to get out if you don't want to. Because you lack confidence and even slight comments trigger you, heeseung makes sure that no one can do so while he's around. If he's around, you can freely go anywhere and do anything. He would have a reputation of a 0 tolerance boyfriend who did not like people perceiving you in anyway. So whenever he is around, people usually know to keep their words in check. He's your safe blanket. The only person you can be yourself with.
You were hanging out with heeseung's cousins in a family get together, sitting on heeseung's lap and indulging in oily food for once, trying to let go of the food guilt.
"y/n that's a lot of food for one sitting" one of them commented and even though the comment was harmless with no real intent to hurt you, it did hurt. Your appetite dying instantly as you gave them a sheepish smile ,standing up from heeseung's lap and excusing yourself from the setting, not wanting your useless tears to fall and ruin everyone's mood. Heeseung let you walk away to collect your emotions but the instant icy glare he shot towards his cousin was something his family would never forget.
"I thought I made it clear that when y/n comes over you better watch your fucking mouths" he gritted through clenched teeth, the nerve on his forehead throbbing with how much effort it was taking him to stop himself from punching his cousin's stupid face. He found you standing in the kitchen, the food that was previously on your plate was now in the trash can and you just stood there staring at it, your small sniffles reaching his ears. You jumped upon feeling two strong arms wrap around your waist but melted into heeseung's touch in an instant.
"Baby, it's okay, have you seen the amount of food that i eat? On the daily basis?" His words made you snort, how ladylike. It was true, heeseung always made sure to load his plate full, piling stuff to the top just so he could make you laugh and forget about your own portion size. It always worked.
"Let's get out of here and I'll take you to this new ice cream parlor I've been meaning to try, would you like that baby? Just me and you?" He peppered small kisses along the length of your neck tenderly, making you close your eyes and just bask in his love. "Yeah I'd love that" you whispered. He was enough for you. You could deal with anything as long as you were in his arms.
Jay
Watching yourself in the mirror was always daunting for you, having no idea of what you really looked like, just constant voices in your head chanting "ugly" were all you could focus on. The dress that you were trying on was tight, it was suffocating. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, starve, starve-
A choked sob escaped your lips and you covered your mouth instantly, realizing that you were in a public space and your boyfriend was right outside. Jay's thought made you cry more, all of your self doubts creeping in and you turned away from the mirror, unable to look at your distorted reflection any longer. You often questioned why he was with you, you were nothing but a mess of a person, not pretty, not normal... just a gaping wound was what you were. Always bleeding. A sudden knock at the changing room's door jolted you out of your thoughts and you quickly wiped your tears, breathing in through your nose to make your voice less wobbly "yes?" you asked, hoping it was just a staff.
"baby let me in please" came jay's sweet voice and you closed your eyes, a defeated sigh leaving your lips. He knew you were having a breakdown, of course he knew, he always knew. You trudged towards the door and yanked it open, presenting your tear stained face to your worried boyfriend. Jay took you in his arms in an instant, cooing and shushing you when you started sobbing in earnest. "talk to me love, I'm right here" he whispered, running his palms all over your body, caressing you with so much tenderness it made you tighten your hold around his neck.
"I just-i don't like this dress" you choked out in the crook of his neck and he hummed in understanding "but I think it looks stunning on you baby" He whispered. His words made you pull back, still sniffing but staring into his eyes to detect a lie being told to placate you.
"You do?" you asked softly, not trusting your voice just yet. He nodded and turned you around, a gasp leaving your lips while your back rested against his chest. Your eyes met his in the mirror and you shied away from the intensity of his gaze. You watched as he ran his hands all over your body, your breath hitching when he cupped your chest, travelling down to your waist, then to your hips "so perfect" he whispered in your ear, making a shiver run down your spine. "look at the way it hugs your curves sweetheart, and the vibrant blue which brings out the color of your eyes", your eyes widened upon realizing that he was right, the dress did do wonders in highlighting your eyes. " look at the way it hugs your hips baby, driving me crazy" and it did, it hugged your hips so snugly, the fit so perfect now that you were seeing yourself in new light. His fingers dug into your waist, his lips touching your earlobe while he told you how beautiful you were. "let me take you home and show you how much I like this dress" He groaned and you bit your lower lip at his suggestion, suddenly feeling so sexy and so desired. He was so good at making you feel like this gorgeous person that you never thought you were. But he was here. And he wanted you. He thought you were pretty and that's all that mattered to you. It didn't heal you but it did make things easier.
Jake
He would be the type of boyfriend who keeps you stacked with your diet soda and 0 calorie foods. After he started dating you he had quickly grasped the severity of your condition, and even though it was out of his hand to actually help you, he did try his best to just be there for you.
"Jake I didn't order these" you asked your boyfriend in confusion, pointing towards the two full boxes of konjac noodles sitting on the kitchen counter. He walked towards you with a smile and pulled you into him. "I did, aren't they your favorite noodles? I was just trying to be a good boyfriend".
Favorite noodles. No they weren't. And you knew that jake knew that, but he didn't like to make you feel like there was something wrong with you, and you appreciated that so much. Your lower lip wobbled upon seeing the new cans of coke zero stacked on the side counter as well. Never had anyone cared so much about your needs and it was making you choke on your emotions. You had been running out of your ed foods and were trying to push back buying them because of the increasing prices, not wanting to waste money on your own hunger because according to you, you didn't deserve to eat anyway.
"How'd you know?" you whispered through a sniffle, already feeling the onslaught of tears. "because I know you, and I love you" He whispered back, wiping your tears and capturing your lips in his own, kissing you through your breakdown.
Sunghoon
You didn't want to overthink it. You really didn't, but your boyfriend was gorgeous and so it was inevitable that he got female attention wherever he went. And most girls ignored your presence beside him, fawning over him as if he didn't have his fingers intertwined with yours. She was beautiful, the girl your boyfriend had been laughing with when you stepped into his office unannounced. That was your biggest mistake because now you couldn't help but compare. Compare the thighs, the arms, the waist... you were nothing like her. Were these the women sunghoon spent his entire day with? and he still chose to come back to your plain self? What were you even doing with yourself? You should be starving harder, you decided. Just a few inches more and your waist might start looking like her, and maybe a few more inches on your thighs would make everything better and the- you were spiralling again. Unable to stop it even though you knew the consequences.
"This is the 3rd order this week baby" sunghoon's voice made you turn towards your bedroom door, mentally cursing upon finding the packaged waist trainer in his hands. You panicked and snatched it from his hands, mumbling a quick thank you and not meeting his eyes. You could feel his probing gaze on you. "You haven't stepped outside of this house in weeks, care to tell me what's going on?"
You hadn't lost weight, you weren't pretty enough yet, didn't he understand?? You couldn't just go outside looking like this, was he out of his mind?. Warm hands cupping your cheeks pulled you out of your inner monologue and you looked up at his intense eyes staring down at you. He rubbed his thumbs onto your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours
"Do you remember the first day of high school? When you had the biggest zit on your nose?" He asked and you looked up at him confused, not knowing where this conversation was headed but nodded regardless. "I loved you then" he whispered and your throat tightened, remembering how he was probably the only one in your entire grade who didn't make a comment on your acne. "And the time when you fell face first into the muddy water before class cuz you were an idiot who never looked at the ground while walking" The memory made you giggle but sunghoon only smiled fondly , kissing your nose "you were drenched from head to toe but i loved you then. I loved you so much y/n". You could feel the moisture gathering in your eyes at his confession, knowing that you spent your entire teen years hating yourself so much to the point that you failed to see the love that was around you. Remembering how you would shy away from your own reflection in the class windows because you despised yourself to the core. "And I loved you when you slapped me, loved you so much that it hurt". Tears were falling freely now, the painful memory of you slapping sunghoon after he confessed his feelings for you because you thought he was trying to make fun of you, coming back to you. cuz in your head there was no way that a guy like him could ever want something to do with you, so you automatically concluded that it was a prank, a distasteful one. "and I love you right now y/n, I love you because you're you. I can't live without you because your soft snores are the only thing helping me fall asleep most days. Because your stupid jokes are the only ones I'd ever fake my laugh for- you gasped through your tears and slapped his chest lightly, making him chuckle. "I love you because I can't help it. It's that easy to love you. " he continued , wiping your tears, "don't you understand baby? You never had to try to make me love you, so why now?". You buried your face into his chest and sobbed, feeling like a huge rock had been lifted off of your chest. His assurance was what you craved the most. The reminder that you were enough for someone. For him.
"I want you just like you are sweetheart, flaws and scars intact. Raw and unfiltered. Now that I have you in my arms, please don't take that away from me" He whispered, wrapping his hands tightly around your heaving body.
"If it's hard for you to love yourself,please let me do it for you" and just like that, he was again fixing the parts of you that he didn't break.
495 notes · View notes
pathetichimbos · 7 months
Note
I wanna eat Thomas up like he my LAST MEAL 😫😫
Shawtyyy like I’m beating up his guts like I die TOMORROW!! 💖💖
Honestly if I saw him with my (dumbass) group of friends I would turn to them and be like “hol’ on i’ma try to wife up this super model ova here, go on without me cuz this town is my new home as long as he here.” While LOUDLY pointing to Thomas and trying to be suave AF but lookin dumb in the process. Lowkey though I feel like realistically he would think I’m making fun of him and kill me first 😭😭.
What’s your take on it?? How would our (hot-sexy-mouthwatering) Thomas Hewitt take a very bold flirtatious reader?? Thanks and bye!! ✌️💖💖
I am having thoughts and feelings about this thank you very much
So, we all know Thomas is a very shy and reserved man. He isn't bold or confident by any means. He does as he's told, and sticks to himself, pretty much never leaving his comfort zone.
But, Luda Mae's getting older, and despite her head-strong and strong-willed demeanor, Thomas worries about her.
So, he starts spending more time at the old country store, if for no reason other than to serve as a deterrent for the off-handed biker or degenerate looking for an excuse to try and rob a poor old station clerk.
It works, and Luda Mae enjoys spending more time with her son.
There's not much to do out at the shop, and so more often than not Thomas finds himself resting out in the old rocker to escape the hot smoky air wafting from the patron's and his mother's cigarettes.
It's a cool October afternoon, a nice breeze keeping the hot sun at bay as he gently pushes himself back and forth with his foot, eyes closed as he rests.
He hears you before he sees you, the loud, excited yells of a group of young women fading in from the distance as a jeep kicks up dirt, pulling up to one of the old, rusty pumps.
He squints his eyes open, watching as the four of you sing along to the radio, no one concerned with how off-key y'all may be.
He sighs, closing his eyes again, not moving from his seat in the old rocker as your group continues having the time of your lives.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," A clear voice suddenly emerges from the chaos, the music lowering to a quiet hum, "Who is that?"
He opens his eyes again, seeing that you have set your eyes on him from your place in the backseat, sunglasses lowered to take in a better look.
He frowns behind his mask, face scrunching in expectancy, waiting to hear the barrage of rude comments and hideous bullying.
The rest of your friends glance over his way as he shuffles in his seat, shoulders tensing as he looks away, uncomfortable with the attention.
"Goddamn." You start again, letting out a low whistle, "If this is what this town has to offer y'all can just leave me here."
A large eruption of playful teasing, groans, and eye rolls come from your friend group as you wiggle your eyebrows at him with a large, flirtatious grin.
He looks back, caught off guard by the terrible pick up line, frozen in place as you blow him a kiss.
"Are you for sale, pumpkin, 'cause I could just eat you up!"
"Oh, my god, leave the poor man alone." One of your friends tease you, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you further into the car.
He can't help but stare, left in shock by the sudden and unexpected flirting.
You couldn't be serious, right...?
There's no way you could actually be flirting with him right now... Right?
His thought process is broken as you ungracefully climb out of the truck, pulling yourself over the door and almost busting your face in the process.
Brown eyes stay glued to you as you walk over to him, hips swaying in what he was sure to be a much more suave and appealing way than the dorky saunter you were pulling now.
...This was definitely a joke.
"Hey." You barely stifle through your amused giggling to speak, "Do you have a name or can I just call you mine?"
"Y/N!" Your friends groan loudly from the car, watching you attempt to work your magic.
He looks you up and down, trying to figure out if this was some strange attempt to mock him or if you were actually coming onto him, the latter making his face flush pink at the idea.
"Thomas!" His mother steps out of the shop, poking her head out to look at the two of you, "Come help me put this stuff up."
He isn't sure if she really needs help or if it's a feeble attempt to get him out of the situation, and to be completely honest, he's not really sure he wants to leave.
But his mother says she needs help, so he stands from his chair, rising to his full height, something that would cause most people to take at least a small step back, but your smile only seems to grow as you stand in place, clearly checking him out as you look him up and down.
He starts to ignore you, heading back inside, only to hear the wooden floorboards creak behind him as he reaches the counter.
He looks back, a confused look on his face as he sees you following behind like a lost duckling.
"Don't mind me," You wink, "My mama just always told me to follow my dreams."
He huffs in amusement at that, shaking his head.
Maybe your pickup lines weren't all that bad.
...
As time goes on, and the more he gets to know you, the more he's going to find your flirtatious advances amusing and endearing, but if you don't make it very clear from the beginning that there's actual feelings behind your remarks, he's going to assume that they're just jokes and you're not actually into him.
He's a big romantic, he'll catch feelings rather easily the more you flirt and tease him, and if he isn't 100% sure that they're more than just jokes, he'll eventually grow to resent them because he feels like he's being teased, even if you have no idea he has feelings for you at all, so communication (while a big deal in every relationship) will be especially important if you're a flirtatious person.
789 notes · View notes
lovewithmary · 7 months
Text
(not) moving on — a max verstappen x stark!oc x charles leclerc series
★ fc: madison beer ☆ summary: evangeline "evie" stark is in love with her best friend, max verstappen, but he tries his best to keep her at arm's length. but what happens when she starts to get close to his fellow drivers in the paddock? ★ note: idek why i like creating stark ocs, but it’s fun. This is purely for my own entertainment but I don't know if I'll continue it. It depends if people actually want to see more of this. (realistically, I might continue it because I want to see it lol) btw how do people do the subtitles?? like I'm so curious I want to do those
schat = darling in dutch
next series masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 20,492,182 others
eviestark: life lately 💜
comments
user1: MY WIFE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP???
user2: she’s actually living the life rn
user3: SCHAT??? ANG???
user4: the random tony stark jumpscare in the photo dump LMAOOOO
user5: who is the guy with tony stark in the 7th photo?? ↳ user6: i’m pretty sure that’s peter parker, an employee of stark industries??? he’s started out as an intern in high school but he’s rumored to be the COO once evie becomes CEO of stark industries
user7: WHO TOOK THE 2ND PICTURE
user8: not the single guys from the f1 grid in her likes 😭😭
user9: THE WOMAN IN THE BACK IN THE 7TH PICTURE IM CRYING
user10: the first and second picture giving me 'boyfriend took these for me' vibes
user11: she looks so pretty and happy in the 4th picture <3
Tumblr media
"You're playing with fire by posting our text messages, Ang," Max said, his voice shushed as he walked around the paddock.
"It's fine, Maxie. They'll probably connect me to a random famous person who is Dutch and then it'll blow over in a week," Evie dismissed.
"It doesn't really help that the guys are in your likes constantly," Max grumbled, and he heard Evie laugh.
"Some of them are pretty cute, and I think some even tried messaging me but I never saw them until it was late," she responded.
"Who?"
"Aww, Maxie, are you jealous?" Evie cooed, her tone sweet yet mocking at the same time.
"No... I just never expected them to be brave enough to message you," Max said.
"If you must know, I think it was Charles and Lando who tried. There are probably others, but I haven't seen them,"
"Did you respond to any of them?"
"Of course not, I'm loyal to you and only you,"
"Schat..."
"I know, I know, you wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole like that," Max could practically hear her rolling her eyes.
"You know we're just best friends, right?"
"And I'm saying I'm loyal to you and only you as a best friend."
"Are you doing anything soon?" Max was quick to change the subject, feeling as if he didn't, awkwardness would settle in and he hates it whenever Evie doesn't speak since he's fully aware that he loves hearing her talk considering how passionate she gets about things.
"Stark Industries' Gala is happening and Pepper's making me get a date for the event,"
"Why's she making you?"
"Something along the lines of I have to be seen with someone that isn't MJ, Peter, Ned, and Shuri," Evie sighed.
Max laughed at her situation, knowing that while Evie knew a lot of people, there were only a few that she could trust completely. And luckily for him, he was one of them. He was probably the first, considering they've known each other since she was 6 and he was 8.
"Good luck trying to find someone,"
"It's not even trying to find someone I'm struggling with. It's trying to find someone that's decent enough to spend my night with,"
"Who were you going to ask?"
"Well, I was going to ask you, but since we're best friends I don't think me bringing you as my date to the SI event would be something best friends do,"
"I'll go," Max said, shrugging.
"Wait, seriously? Like you going means you actually have to dress up,"
"I know,"
"The dress code is black tie. That means you can't wear your Redbull uniform like you're a walking billboard,"
"Do I really wear it that much? I saw people that were shocked when I wore a white t-shirt,"
"You're a millionaire who wears the same thing every day. So basically, every millionaire man,"
"I'm going to wear Redbull head to toe to the Gala now that you said that,"
Tumblr media
659 notes · View notes
wonusite · 2 years
Text
Virgin Killer
Tumblr media
❝ You can’t stand the clear line the cute nerd in your calculus class always draws between you two. However, you’re determined to show him that there’s a fine line between love and hate. And if you happen to get him to cross that line, even better. ❞
pairing: joshua hong x reader
warnings: cheerleader!reader, nerd!shua, virgin!shua, he’s kinda cold in this but is lowkey still a soft boi, drinking, teasing, jealousy, reader has a little bit of a corruption kink, loss of virginity, oral sex (f and m receiving), unprotected sex, riding, multiple creampies, overstimulation
read part two
a/n: huge shout out to hoe nonny for being the mastermind behind this fic! minors dni!!
You’re not sure how it happened.
It’s not like Joshua Hong was nice to you. Hell, he didn’t even act civilly towards you half the time. And yet, none of that matters to you. He’s just so cute and kind (to other people) and smart that you can’t help but be attracted to him. Deep down, you’re aware that what you feel is starting to go beyond that of a crush, but your carnal desire is enough to make you disregard the potential consequences of your feelings.
Nothing matters more to you than having that cute little nerd in the way you want.
“What do you mean he’s not coming?” You frown at Jeonghan.
Your friend rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what you were expecting. You know he doesn’t like you.”
“But you promised you would convince him to go!” You stomp your foot petulantly. “You said it would be my birthday gift.”
“I’ll just get you that perfume you’ve been wanting instead.”
You try not to let it bother you, but it’s hard not to. Most people take a liking to you, and yeah, it’s not realistic to expect everyone to like you. But you can’t help the jarring disappointment that eats away at you whenever you think about how much Josh dislikes you. What bothers you the most is that he has no legitimate reason to treat you how he does. All you’ve ever been is nice to him.
It’s pathetic of you to still chase after him despite his blatant disinterest and cold attitude, but you don’t care. You’ve never wanted anything or anyone as badly as you want Joshua Hong.
The very next day, you go to the library with the intent to convince him to go to your party. You know he’ll be at his usual table in the corner of the library, studying diligently like he always does. Josh always sticks to his routine—one of the many traits you love about him. A warm feeling consumes your chest when you find him in the exact spot he’s always at.
“Josh!” You call quietly, smiling brightly when he lifts his head.
Ignoring the way he rolls his eyes, you walk over to him, feeling more determined than ever. He doesn’t look up even as you sit next to him. It’s frustrating yet endearing all at the same time.
“What are you working on?” You peer over him curiously.
“Science stuff.” He says curtly. “Things you wouldn’t know about.”
You ignore his dig and let out a gentle hum. “You’re right. Molecular biology doesn’t really interest me. Data structures are more my thing.”
When he snaps his head up at you in shock, you smirk at him. “Sorry. I guess that’s something you wouldn’t know about.”
In all the time he’s known you, he never knew your major. All he knew was that you were on a cheer scholarship. Honestly, he assumed that you were majoring in something that required no real effort. Josh quickly manages to stifle his curiosity and goes back to his research.
“You’re always studying.” You point out, not wanting to waste any more time. “It’s okay to take a break once in a while.”
Joshua presses his lips together before letting out an irritated sigh. “Unlike you, I can’t rely on looking pretty to get through college. I don’t have time for breaks.”
Your smile doesn’t falter at his words, and it amazes Josh how you never take his biting comments personally. In fact, you somehow take his slight as a compliment. “So, you think I’m pretty?”
Despite you not being the type of girl he likes, Josh can’t deny that you’re very attractive. But that doesn’t mean he wants you for himself.
His lack of response doesn't faze you, as usual. “And I seriously doubt that you don’t have time for a break. All the other biochem majors do. They’re all coming to my party this weekend. You should too.”
He ignores the fact that you’ve invited practically all of his friends. “No, thanks.”
Joshua keeps his focus on studying, and as sexy as he looks, it’s also a bit maddening. How can he not want to party with you when everyone on campus was dying for the opportunity? You weren’t vain, but you knew the affect you had on most people. Plus your parties were nothing short of legendary.
“Why don’t you want to come?” You ask him. An unconscious pout brings down the edges of your lips. “I really want you to be there.”
“We’re not friends.” He reminds you. “Why would I go to your party?”
Vaguely, you think it’s sick that you don’t feel deterred by his coldness. If anything, you only feel more determined to ensnare him and make him yours. Only yours.
“Do you not want to come because it’s my party?” You wonder as you scoot closer to him. A smirk lift your lips when he tenses at the close proximity. “Or is it because you just don’t know how to have fun?”
Josh grits his teeth, but doesn’t answer.
It makes you smirk because you can tell he’s on the verge of snapping. Maybe to the point where he’ll fuck you stupid in the library’s bathroom.
“Come on.” You whine, hooking your hand on his arm. It actually surprises you that you feel a bit of muscle through his sweater. “It’ll be fun. You don’t always have to spend your time studying. There’s more to life than just school.”
The last part of your sentence finally triggers a reaction. Josh can handle you clinging to him for no apparent reason. He can even handle your constant teasing, but to have you imply that he’s a straight up lame is—
“Fine. I’ll go.”
He belatedly realizes you’ve gaslit him into doing what you wanted only after you direct your pleased grin at him. However, it’s so pretty that he can’t really be angry.
“Promise?”
Josh actually smiles a little when you stick your pinky out at him. It’s stupid and childish. At least, that’s what he tries to tell himself as you’re looking at him with those alluring eyes of yours. He feels like he doesn’t have control of his own movements as he sticks out his hand to wrap his pinky around your smaller one.
“I promise.”
Tumblr media
It’s crazy for Josh to be doing this. He doesn’t even like you. You’re no friend of his, and you probably will never be. There’s no real explanation as to why he agreed to come (you manipulating him doesn’t really count because you’ve annoyed him more intensely in the past), but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s here, and he has to see it through.
When he knocks on the door, he’s greeted by a large jock whose name he can’t remember. The guy squints at him like he’s trying to figure out how Josh even knew about the party. Typical. This was just another sign that he shouldn’t have shown up.
“Sorry, bro.” The jock says, not sounding sorry at all. “This is a private party. No invite, no—”
“Gyu!” A familiar voice calls, and Josh hates that the sound of it actually makes him feel relieved. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Josh is the guest of honor!”
He’s actually impressed at how easily you shove the giant football player out of the way. Your thrilled expression makes a strange feeling settle in the pit of his stomach. As always, you look incredible. The dress you’re wearing hugs your figure just right. It makes you look like every man’s fantasy. (Not his, though.)
“You came!” You squeal happily, throwing your arms around him.
The smell of your perfume invades his senses and makes his mind feel fuzzy. Just like in the library, he feels like he has no control over his actions as he wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes you against him.
“How is he the guest of honor if this is your birthday party?” Venom drips from Mingyu’s voice.
You pull back slightly and look over your shoulder with a glare. “He’s the guest of honor because I say he is.”
Your arms are still wrapped around Josh’s neck and his are still wrapped around your waist. Neither of you make a move to let go. Admittedly, part of him doesn’t because of the way you responded to your friend. He’s not sure why it made him feel good, but it did. That feeling doesn’t go away even when you unwrap yourself from him to grab his hand.
“Nice to meet you.” Josh smirks at Mingyu as he lets you drag him inside. A deep satisfaction settles in his gut when the jock glares at him.
Josh isn’t used to the attention he’s getting while you guide him through your crowded apartment. It’s new and uncomfortable for him. He’s gone through the majority of his college years unnoticed, and that’s how he liked it.
He notices that you don’t seem fazed by all the attention. It’s not exactly a surprise. As a pretty cheerleader, you’re popular—obviously. In fact, a lot of his own friends have mentioned that they’d do just about anything to date you. He can see that it’s the same for a lot of guys because more than half of them are glaring at him with pure jealousy.
It’s not like he’s a self-deprecating person, but he can’t help but wonder why you were so adamant on pursuing him. Clearly, there’s more than plenty of guys who were eager for your attention, but all you seemed to care about was spending your time with him.
He still can’t believe it.
“What do you like to drink?” You ask once you two enter the kitchen.
“Uh,” he stammers, not ready for the loss of warmth that he feels when you let go of his hand. “Just beer is fine.”
Josh isn’t a heavy drinker, but he feels the urge to get drunk quickly. He naively thinks it’ll help dissolve the nerves that have settled in the pit of his stomach. He’s wrong. The alcohol doesn’t help, especially not when you leave his side for a moment to say greet someone of your friends. You make him promise not to leave, and he reluctantly does.
“I didn’t think you’d actually come.”
Jeonghan is looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a sly smirk. Josh rolls his eyes and focuses on finishing the remainder of his beer. It only makes his friend’s teasing grin widen.
“I...” he lets out a defeated sigh. “Needed a break.”
Instead of teasing him, Jeonghan only hums. “Yeah? Are you sure it’s not because you finally fell for Y/N’s charms?”
“She’s not charming.” Joshua says as he goes to grab another drink.
Jeonghan raises his eyebrows at that. It’s the first time he’s heard anyone say anything of the sort. The strange part is that while Josh does sound sincere, there’s something about his demeanor that says otherwise. Interesting.
“Really? I thought she would be especially charming to you with all that science shit she talks about. Do you—?”
“What do you mean?” Josh cuts him off. “She’s into science?”
His friend looks at him like he’s crazy. “Um, yeah. She’s majoring in computer science.”
Josh feels like his head is spinning, and he knows it’s not because of the alcohol. He hardly has time to think about how he’s never bothered to know such a huge fact about you because in the next second, you’re skipping into the kitchen with a huge smile.
When Joshua isn’t looking, you give Jeonghan a look that silently urges him to get lost. As much as you love your friend, this was possibly the only chance you would have where Josh was actually willing to spend time with you. If there was ever an opportunity to get close with him (in more than one way), it was now. You weren’t going to let anything get in the way of that.
After you watch Jeonghan leave, you look back at Josh to find him already looking at you. It’s different from his usual stare, and it makes a carnal heat crawl up your torso.
“You’re a comp science major?”
Josh almost regrets asking his question when your smile falters. Belatedly, he realizes that any time you’re around him, there’s always an unwavering smile on your face. His heart starts beating irregularly. Did you really like him that much?
“You...” It feels like your throat is suddenly closing in on itself. “You didn’t know that?”
The dejected tone coloring your voice only makes things worse. In the back of Josh’s mind, he thinks it shouldn’t matter if the revelation upset you. But it does. It matters way more than it should, and he can’t stand the guilt that’s biting at his chest.
You convince yourself that the alcohol is making you more emotional than usual. The sinking feeling in your chest definitely has nothing to do with the fact that your feelings have gone beyond a stupid little crush. You’ve known all along how Josh feels about you because he never hid it, and no matter how much it stings, you have to ground yourself so too many of your emotions don’t show.
“Sorry.” He says awkwardly. “I guess we were in the middle of talking about me for the last two years.”
It’s a relief when you laugh. Not only because the sound is honeyed and possibly one of the sweetest he’s ever heard, but because you’re directing that pretty smile at him again.
As the night progresses, Josh doesn’t leave your side. He can’t believe you actually don’t leave him alone despite how many people flock around you and try to steal you away. But you insist on staying by him and listen to him talk about structural biology.
Eventually, you drag him to your room so you two can speak without being interrupted. It’s probably a mistake, but Joshua likes the feeling of your hand wrapped around his a little too much.
You two are sitting on the edge of your bed when you notice something. His hands are big, the biggest you’ve ever seen. It’s crazy how you didn’t notice before when you grabbed them, but now it was all you could think about. Suddenly, you feel like your head is swimming, and you’re not sure if it's because of the liquor you’ve drank or because of the thoughts that were starting to make you aroused.
“Your hands are really big.” You blurt, reaching over to grab the one closest to you.
Josh feels like he can’t breathe when you bring his hand closer to your face. The way you’re inspecting it like you want to eat it makes his dick twitch.
“You’re so pretty.”
Your words actually make him blush. The compliment sounds so sincere, and he can tell it is. Before he can even think to respond, you take one of his fingers into your mouth. All coherent thoughts are abruptly shoved out of his mind as your soft tongue circles around his digit. You look so fucking hot with your pretty lips wrapped around his index finger, and Josh can’t think of anything but you.
His cock is straining against his pants, but he’s too enraptured with the sight in front of him to care. Josh can only imagine how you would feel and look with his dick in your mouth. You abruptly release his finger with a loud pop, and it almost makes him whine.
You keep your eyes on his shimmering eyes as you lean toward him. “So fucking pretty.”
He doesn’t stop you when your hand smooths over his chest and slowly trails down his torso. It feels too good. For a second, he wonders if you know that he’s a virgin. Probably not since the way you’re currently looking at him would suggest otherwise. Would you be so eager if you knew the truth?
Josh’s breath hitches when your hand rubs over his erection. He mentally curses himself for being so pathetic to let just a few praises and promiscuous actions get him riled up enough to let you do this. But you just look so fucking pretty that he can’t help it.
He lets you grip and rub him until your hands move to his belt. That action snaps him out of his daze.
“Way-Wait.” Josh breathes out. “I... I’ve never—”
He can’t finish the sentence, but you know what he’s getting at. It doesn’t exactly come as a shock to you. Every time you ever brought up anything sexual he had grown visibly uncomfortable. Over the years, he’d gotten better at hiding it, but you could still see that it bothered him. That’s why you did your best to not mention anything about sex anymore.
It doesn’t surprise Josh when you abruptly pull away from him. He’s known all along what type of girl you were, and obviously you want a guy that's experienced in this sort of thing. Not someone like him.
“It’s okay.” You say softly. “If you don’t want to do this—with me—it’s okay.”
His eyes seem to sparkle even more now, and you can’t believe this unfairly attractive man has never actually done anything. Those eyes could get anyone to do pretty much anything. You knew it better than anyone because you had been dying for the chance.
Josh is too stunned to say anything. Were you really not going to laugh at him?
“We can go back to the party—”
You’re cut off when he suddenly smashes his lips on yours. The kiss is desperate and messy, but you quickly melt into it. To finally have him like this is more than you ever dreamed of, and you would take anything he gave you.
When he pulls away, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes seem to shine brighter than ever. You feel a jerk in your chest, and you fleetingly have a thought that Joshua had officially ruined all other men for you. It’s crazy to think because you know that he doesn't even like you.
“I...” He swallow thickly. “I want to.”
Your breath hitches slightly. “You... You’re sure?”
All it takes is for him to let out a needy yes for your hands to move and unzip his pants. The best part? He lets you. Once you free his cock from his pants, your jaw goes slack. It’s big and thick and pretty. The prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. You lick your lips and look back up at Josh’s flushed face. The sight has your cunt clenching around nothing.
You were going to absolutely ruin him.
You’re torn between looking at his pretty dick and his even prettier face. Eventually, you decide to alternate between the two. Licking your lips, you gently wrap your hand round his thick cock and give it a gentle squeeze. His soft whimper makes you rub your thighs together. The sensitive reaction he has makes you wonder if he’s ever been touched at all.
Slowly, you stroke up the length of his dick. It’s so hot and heavy in your hand that you can only imagine how it would feel inside you. But you push that thought to the back of your mind as you use his precum as a lubricant.
“Fuck.” Josh grunts as his hips buck up gently into your hand. “I-It feels different when you do it.”
You smile at him, watching his face now as to not miss a single one of his reactions. “Yeah? Is it better?”
“So much better.” He moans, tossing his head back.
You’ve never seen a hotter sight, and it takes everything in you not to start kissing up his long neck. The way he’s responding to the attention you’re giving him is driving you crazy. But it would be even better to see him beg you for once.
Josh snaps his eyes open when the pace of your hand slows dramatically. In spite of the situation, you almost laugh when he furrows his eyebrows and pouts at you petulantly. “Please...”
Don’t stop, he wanted to say.
You seemed to understand what he wanted to say, but you only offered him a teasing smirk. Maybe it’s cruel of you to tease Josh, but hearing him beg you for once was the hottest thing ever. You stop your movements and gently squeeze his cock. It takes you by surprise when Josh buries his face in your neck with a bratty whine. Fuck. Now you can literally feel your underwear sticking to your aching cunt.
“You’ve never done this with anyone else?”
His face is hot against your neck, and you can’t deny the pleasure it gives you. “No.”
“So...” you gently run your thumb along one of the more prominent veins of his cock. “No one has ever sucked your dick before?”
He shakes his head into the crook of your neck, and you just know that he probably has the cutest look on his face. You lick your lips and let out a quiet breath because as bad as you want this, you want to make sure he’s okay with anything you do.
“Will you let me be the first?”
You bite your bottom lip when his cock throbs and he lets out a strangled breath. Josh slowly pulls away from your neck and looks at you with hooded eyes. “Fuck yeah.”
Licking your lips, you release him and sink down to your knees. His cock twitches when you start to get closer, and you can't help but smirk. To think that you’ll be the first person to taste him makes you rub your thighs together in anticipation.
You give his weeping tip a gentle kiss you sensually swirl your tongue around to lick him clean. Josh’s reaction is instant. His broken gasp sounds almost cute, and it makes you wrap your lips around him in order to fully take him in your mouth. You loosen your jaw and let your tongue drag along the thick vein on the underside of his cock.
Every whimper and groan of his spurs you on. It has you wrapping your hand around the base of his cock and stroking what doesn’t fit in your mouth. Your other hand reaches for his balls, rolling them and squeezing gently. Joshua whines before it breaks off into a high-pitched moan. Your movements make him buck his hips up into you.
“Fuh-Fuck. Y/N.”
There’s nothing that compares to Josh moaning your name. It makes you bob your head faster until you feel his cock twitch in your mouth. When he whimpers about how close he is, you moan around him. The vibration sends him over the edge. Hot, thick ropes of his cum paint your mouth, and you happily swallow it all.
You slowly release him, eyes widening slightly when you see that he’s still hard. As you go to stand, you feel yourself being pulled on to Josh’s lap. The quiet squeak you let out is stifled when he messily kissed you. All you can do is kiss him back eagerly, gently suckling and biting his lower lip.
When you pull away, you know you won’t be able to let him leave your house until you’ve had every part of him. So you push him on his back and crawl up his body until your face is hovering right over his. Gently, you grind your clothed cunt on his hot dick, relishing in the way he can’t control his moans and whimpers.
“You know, you’re so mean.” You give him a soft pout that makes his cock throb against you. “Coming to my birthday party without a present.”
Somehow, Josh manages to answer you through the arousal that’s clouding his mind. “I… I’ll get you one. A-Anything you want.”
You raise a teasing eyebrow at him. “Anything?”
Joshua moans when you start to grind into him. He quickly nods, too addicted to the way you’re making him feel.
With a gentle hum, a slow smirk stretches your lips. “Then, will you give me your virginity?”
His large hands grip your hips and press you down harder against him. Joshua looks down, frustrated that you’re still fully clothed. He recalls always wanting to have his first time with someone he truly liked and had a connection with. But now that you’re here, grinding your dripping pussy on him, he doesn’t really care about that. And it was your birthday after all.
“You really want me to fuck you?”
Hearing innocent little Josh say something so crude makes you lick your lips. “I do.”
He’s aware that this probably isn’t the best idea, but at the same time, you look so good that he can’t help but want your pussy wrapped around his cock. And so he sits up and starts to roughly tug your dress off of your body. For someone who’s never done anything sexual, Josh is pretty good at getting you naked. It makes you smirk. This whole time you knew he was an undercover pervert.
You had been right all along.
Joshua feels like he might come from the sight of your naked body alone. Fuck. No wonder every guy on campus was dying to fuck you. He feels an overwhelming sense of satisfaction to think that you only wanted him.
He lets you pull off the remainder of his clothes. Josh groans when you rub your dripping cunt on his twitching cock, coating it in your juices. He’s obsessed with the sight of your pretty pussy rubbing all over him, and he wonders if he’ll ever be able to feel the same about you after you two were done.
“I... I don’t have a—”
“I want it raw.” You moan in his ear, and Joshua lets out a groan of his own.
You yelp out in shock when one of his large hands comes down to slap your ass. He gently kneads the skin before his other roughly grips one of your cheeks. A loud moan tears from your throat when he drags you up and down his cock. He does it so well and so harshly that you wonder if he lied to you before about being a virgin.
Unable to wait any longer you finally sink down on his cock. You both moan at the feeling. Josh’s cock is so long and thick that he’s already touching your sweet spot. Almost like he was made for you. It’s a shame that you know he won’t ever be fully yours.
“Josh.” You moan. “You feel so fucking good.”
He whines at the praise and helps you lift your hips so you can slam back down on his dick. You feel so good, and when you start rolling your hips against his, he starts bucking up into you. The sound of slapping skin fills your room, and if there wasn’t a loud party going on you were sure that your guests would hear how good Josh is fucking you.
“You’re so tight.” He says through a choked moan.
Joshua loves the feeling of your hot cunt clamping down on him. He nearly comes when he glances to where you two are connected and sees your sweet cream coating his reddened cock. Something carnal takes over him and before he realizes it, he’s grabbing your hips and starts helping you bounce on his cock.
You let out loud whine when he gives you a particularly sharp thrust and slams his tip against your sweet spot. Josh is quick to notices and repeats his actions. The way his thick cock is bullying into you and hitting the spongy spot inside you is making your arousal drip down his balls. Your moans can’t be contained, and you barely sound cohesive as you chant out his name.
Josh’s large hands are all over you. They glide up to cup your tits and roughly knead them before they slide down to squeeze your ass. His hips are bucking into you desperately, trying to fuck his cock deeper inside you.
The lewd squelching coming from your sopping cunt filling the room only makes you get tighter around his dick to the point where he starts throbbing wildly. It feels like your head is spinning because he’s splitting you open so deliciously and hitting that spot inside you every time.
“Are you gonna come?” You wonder as you start to gyrate your hips in a circle. “You look so pretty when you come.”
“Fuh-Fuck.” Josh groans. He does want to fill you up. He’s never wanted anything more. “I’m so close. Gonna stuff you full of my cum.”
His words push you over the edge and has you clamping down on him as you come with a loud yell of his name. It triggers Josh’s own orgasm and as you’re riding out your high, you suddenly feel his hot seed spilling into your cunt. He shoots rope after rope into you, angling his hips up to fuck it deeper into your pussy.
Coming has never felt so good. Releasing into his fist is fine, but it doesn’t compare to coming inside your sweet cunt. The way you’re sporadically squeezing him is something Josh is sure he’ll never be able to forget. You’ve probably ruined the pleasure of masturbating because it won’t ever compare to the way you’ve made him feel.
It’s worse because he keeps fucking up into you as his hands grip your ass to guide you up and down his cock until you’re both whimpering from the oversensitivity. Josh isn’t entirely sure how he’s meant to forget about this, or you. He can’t act like this didn’t happen.
You press a gentle kiss to each of Josh’s cheeks as your breathing slowly goes back to normal. His shining eyes have a look that you can’t place, but it makes you grin. “I loved my present.” You murmur. “Thank you for choosing me.”
His heart swells, and he can’t hate it. Because you’re gently caressing his hair like you don’t want to separate from him. It’s weird because he doesn’t want you to.
“Let’s go back.” You say without making an attempt to move. “Soonyoung didn’t believe me when I told him you were here.”
He ignores that you’re close with his friend and nods. Vaguely, Joshua thinks that while he didn’t have his first time with someone he loved, he still doesn’t regret it. Because he did it with you.
Tumblr media
Josh is pretty sure he’s loosing his mind.
Lately, all he’s been thinking about you. The worst part is that he no longer seemed to be a priority for you. It’s crazy to think about because, yeah, he had told you on multiple occasions to leave him alone. And yes, he had also told all your mutual friends to pass along the message. But how could you finally respect his wishes after he gave you his virginity?
It’s maddening because in all the time you had class together, Josh never paid you any attention. Now he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. As embarrassing as it is, he can’t physically stop staring at you. He might look like a creep, but the thing is you don’t actually notice. You’re so into paying attention and taking notes that it seems like you’re in your own world.
Finally, you come to him on a random afternoon while he’s at the library. He hates that you skipping over to him actually brings a smile to his face.
“Hey, Josh.” You say as you bend down to wrap your arms around his neck.
It doesn’t help that you’re wearing the same perfume from the night of your birthday party. That smell makes his cock twitch in his pants, and he can’t believe that even the very smell of you has him getting excited like a teenage boy.
“I haven’t seen you around lately.” Josh tries to be casual as you slip into the chair beside him.
Your frown piques his interest. “Mingyu has been taking up a lot of my time of my time. That idiot lives to make my life a living hell.”
He tries not to feel bitter about the reason you’ve been ignoring him. What does he care if you’re spending time with some dumb jock? It’s not like he cares that you deserve someone who was capable of matching your intelligence who you also happen to have great physical chemistry with. He definitely doesn’t care at all.
Josh’s bitter frown has you tilting your head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He lies as he returns his attention back to his laptop. “I’m glad you’re having fun with Mingi. You two fit perfectly.”
Anyone might’ve taken offense to the way he purposely disregards your friend’s name and his scathing tone, but it only makes you smirk. You resist the urge to coo and lean closer to him. “Are you jealous, Joshy?”
He doesn’t react, not conspicuously, anyway. The subtle clench of his jaw is enough to rile you up, though. This new development was something that made all the chasing you did worth it.
“There’s no reason for me to be.”
You hum. “So, I guess you won’t care if I call Mingyu so he can fuck me until I can’t walk?”
It’s almost funny the way Joshua stands up and starts to gather his things. But it’s ultimately not because he’s suddenly tugging you out of your seat and dragging you with him. You question him all the way back to his apartment. Josh doesn’t say anything even as he lets you inside. Just as you start to look around, you’re suddenly being pulled in another direction.
You’re barely able to register that it’s Josh’s room before he’s shoving you on his bed. It would’ve pissed you off, but when you look back to see him taking off his clothes, you can’t help but feel excited.
“Josh—”
“You think you’re so fucking funny, huh?” He growls once he’s down to his underwear. “Teasing me like you have.”
Josh’s voice has taken on such a deep tone that you could hardly believe it was him who talked. You lick your lips as he crawls on the bed. He roughly pulls off your skirt and tosses it behind his shoulder. It makes your pussy clench around nothing. When you were teasing him earlier, you didn’t expect to bring out such a side of him.
You lick lips in anticipation.
Last time, Josh didn’t get to fully admire you and look at you, but now he has you spread out for him like this, he’s going to fully savor it. He doesn’t hesitate to rip your panties off, groaning at the sight of your glistening pussy. “Do you get this wet for everyone, or is this all for me?”
You would’ve felt embarrassed if you didn’t want him so bad. If Mingyu hadn’t accidentally deleted your presentation materials, you would’ve fucked Josh again sooner. But none of that mattered anymore because you were here now, and he was acting hotter than he ever had.
“Don’t play with me.” You groan. “You know your dick is the only one I want.”
Josh’s cock throbs at your words, and he rewards you by pressing a gentle kiss to your cunt. He licks a long stripe up your slit, stopping to flick your clit repeatedly until you’re crying out for him. The sounds you’re making have him grinding his hard cock into the mattress to try and ease the throbbing in his boxers. He latches his mouth on to the sensitive bud and sucks, hard.
“Josh!” You moan, grinding your cunt into his face.
He smirks against you before releasing it with a pop. Your cute whimpers are something he can listen to forever, and he intends to hear that as often as he can. Joshua takes his time eating you out, indulging himself with your sweet taste. His movements are messy and uncoordinated, but so good.
Before you can reach your high, Josh abruptly pulls away from your aching cunt. He actually smirks when you whine at the loss of stimulation, and you wonder what sort of monster you’ve brought out. But because it’s him, it turns you on.
“Want my cock, baby?”
The pet name actually has you nodded eagerly and clenching around nothing. But because Josh is so fucking mean he only runs his hands over your body and slowly undresses you like if time is frozen. It’s frustrating, but when you go to help him, he harshly slaps your cunt to stop you. It only makes more slick drip out of you.
Josh thinks he might come in his boxers when he leans back and sees your arousal dripping out of you and on to his mattress. He licks his lips, loving how fucked out you already look.
You bite your lip when he finally takes off his underwear and lets you see that pretty cock of his. The way your hungrily eyeing him has Josh gripping your thighs and roughly pulling you toward him. He gently grinds himself between your folds, relishing in the way you buck your hips up into him desperately.
“Look at you, so fucking desperate for me to split you open.”
The way you pout of him makes him feel like he might actually go insane. Josh can’t keep waiting and shoves his dick into you with one hard thrust. You both moan at the feeling, and you can’t believe that you had let anything get in the way of having him fuck you again.
You notice his somewhat hesitant with his thrusts, and you slowly slide your hands down to his hips to guide them. Joshua pauses for a moment before he starts rolling his hips in that same angle that you seem to like. He focuses on your bouncing tits and the mewls and whimpers that are falling from your lips. His tip is hitting against your sweet spot repeatedly until you’re tossing your head back in pleasure.
“You like it when I fuck you there, huh, baby?” Josh says with a teasing smirk. “Let me hear how good I’m making you feel.”
His voice is sickly-sweet, and it doesn’t match the way he’s sharply slamming his cock into you.
“Fuh-Fuck!” You moan. “Don’t stop!”
Your sweet cunt is clamping down on him so tightly that he’s starting to feel some resistance. It only makes him drill into you deeper, determined to have you come undone on him.
The way his thick cock is stretching you out has your mind going blank. Joshua is fucking into your wet cunt until your moans turn into incoherent babbles. His hips are rolling into yours desperately, and you mewl wantonly when you feel his heavy balls slapping against your ass.
“God, you’re so fucking tight.” Josh gasps.
“Oh fuck.” You whine, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten. “I’m gonna—“
Josh groans when he feels your cunt tightly clamp down on his pulsing cock. He looks down and sees his dick is glistening with the arousal dripping from you. He bites his lip, feeling more turned on than ever. By this point he’s thrusting into you sloppily, hips losing their rhythm as hits against your sweet spot.
With one last thrust, you finally break. Joshua groans loudly as your walls spasm around his cock. He loves the sight of you creaming all over him, and that’s all it takes for him to come. Thick, hot ropes of his cum spill into your walls. He surprises you when he starts fucking his cum into you, hitting your spongy spot over and over again with a smirk.
Eventually, he stills and slowly pulls out of you.
You whimper when he spread your lips to watch his cum drip out of you. For a moment you think he’s done until he’s shoving his face into your sloppy cunt, sucking and licking at it like a starved man. You hiss at the overstimulation, but it feels so fucking good.
Joshua pulls away from you with a smirk. Your thighs are quivering, and the sight makes him shove his still-hard cock back inside of you. He throbs inside your hot cunt, stretching you open with every snap of his hips.
“Fuck, you’re dripping.” Josh rasps, as he starts fucking into you like it’s the last time he’ll get to have you like this.
“J-Josh.” You whimper as you arch your back. “S-So fucking good.”
It’s crazy how fast he finds your sweet spot again. He keeps slamming his cock against that spot, and it makes you feel almost dizzy. Joshua seems to notice this because he starts snapping his hips deeper into you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel the veins of his thick cock dragging along your velvety walls.
The sound you let out when Josh throws one of your legs over his shoulder is so fucking sexy that he can’t help, but moan along with you. All the arousal coating your inner thighs makes a sticky mess and fills his room with lewd squelching sounds.
“Don’t stop!” You plead, bucking your hips upwards to match his thrusts.
Josh watches his cock slip in and out of you with a loud moan. To see your cream covering his cock drives him wild. He picks up the pace, needing to see you come all over his dick again. Your mouth is dropped open in pleasure, and before he can think twice about it, he presses his lips to yours and drinks in every muffled squeal as he angles himself to bury his tip against the sensitive, velvety spot of your walls.
You can only moan as Josh continues to slam his long, veiny cock inside your tight little cunt. He smirks when you groan and drive your nails into his lithe back. Your legs tremble as he keeps thrusting into you, his girth splitting you open all over again.
“You just can’t get enough of my cock, can you, baby?” He tells with a smirk. You can’t respond because he sinks his teeth into your neck as your walls tighten on his throbbing cock.
“Fucking love your cock.” You mewl.
The way his mouth sucks on your neck and nips at your skin is almost too much and makes your head spin. Josh slips his hand down to your wet pussy, circling his fingers against your slippery bud. It only takes a few calculated strokes for you to cream and gush around his cock. Your toes curl as you orgasm with a loud cry of ecstasy.
Joshua groans as he feels his own climax take over him. Your tight cunt continues to milk him until he's forced to stop and pour himself into you. The feeling of his hot seed painting your walls is something that you’ll never get enough of. He sloppily fucks you both through your orgasms until he can no longer handle the overstimulation.
It takes you by surprise when Josh presses a tender kiss to your lips. He only grins at you before he rolls over with you on top of him. Somehow, he manages to keep his cock inside you as he nuzzled into your hair. He lets out a deep breath and gently runs his large hands up and down your back.
“Will you stay?” He asks shyly, and you can’t believe that this is the same guy who was railing you like no one else ever had before.
“Yeah.” You grin. “I might as well get used to being here.”
Joshua doesn’t try to hide his grin. He never thought that this was how things would turn out, but he’s so glad they did. Because now he was never going to let you go.
Tumblr media
taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
halcyone-of-the-sea · 8 months
Note
How about a little argument and make up with Gaz 👀 He crosses a line and blurts out something he shouldn't have? I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, thanks! Congrats on 5k!! 💕💕
—Didn't Mean It
Tumblr media
⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ
╰┈➤ ❝ [Arguments are rare, certainly ones that leave you in tears.] ❞
Tumblr media
You ended up locking yourself in the bedroom to have some time to yourself, head under the covers and your eyes burning from the tears you’d shed over the course of hours. It had to be well into the night now—maybe even into tomorrow if you bothered to think realistically. 
An argument with your boyfriend was practically unheard of, certainly one that left you tearing up and your hands shaky. Your heart hurting. 
Kyle had gotten back from his deployment a week early just yesterday, and you had immediately known something was wrong. He was having a harder time re-adjusting to civilian life—was more curt in his answers to your questions even if you were just trying to understand how to make him feel better. The entire day had been spent with him blankly staring at the telly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. 
The fight had started about, of all things, the duffel bag of his belongings that you’d brought into the laundry room. You can’t remember most of it, but you remembered enough. 
“Gaz,” you level. “It’s a duffel bag. I just need it out of the walkway so I don’t trip over it.”
The man scoffs, but he can’t look at you. 
“What, you expecting someone over?” Your face wrinkles, head pulling a bit back like your neck was on a string. 
“...Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” His brown eyes turn to you, burning as his hands twitch. “Having someone come over when I’m not around, yeah? Giving me a run-around?” 
For a moment you’re utterly silent, not blinking as you stare at him in shock. When you gather your senses, you force out through a tight throat. “Garrick, I suggest you be careful with what you’re saying to me. You need to sit down and think rationally—it’s just a bag, this is ridiculous. Why in the world would I ever do something like that to you?”
His jaw clenches. 
“I don’t need to bloody sit down!” Kyle snaps, head turning away with a bit of panic in his eyes. It became apparent pretty quickly that he wasn’t in the right headspace and he knew it. “I need to know if you’ve been fucking someone else!” 
Your body tenses, eyes snapping wide. A swift silence falls between the two of you as your mouth gapes at Gaz. As if just realizing what he’d said, the man puts a hand on the back of his head and steps back, lips opening and closing. 
“W-wait, I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that, Love. I…” You’re already walking away, hands at your sides clenched and tears stinging the back of your eyes like knives. 
So here you were, lying on the bed and breathing low—eyes half closed as Gaz’s shadow doesn't leave from under the door. He’d been there the whole time, sitting on the floor across the hall. Waiting. On occasion he’d speak; talk about how the deployment went. 
You only really listened in the dim shadows when he offered an explanation for his attitude. 
“I…” His voice is muffled, but it’s still Kyle. “I held a kid as he died, Love.” You’re fully awake in an instant, eyes stuck to the dark wood. “I watched…I just fucking watched, and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to take it out on you—I…Bloody Hell, I’m sorry, Sweetheart, I didn’t mean it. Fuck I didn’t mean it.” 
The man is getting choked up, his words jumbling together as a deep pain grows over the airways. Your hand is on the handle of the door before you can remember your anger, opening it and darting across the small distance. You collide with his firm chest as the first of his sobs break out of his chest, his hands shakily curling around your back as you pull him up. 
“I’m sorry,” he utters, broken, as his head shoves itself into your neck. “I’m sorry.” Again, again, again. 
You hold him and he grasps onto you like a lifeboat, both unsure. Forcing down your own tears, you put a hand on his back and rub it up and down, whispering to him. 
“Shh, Kyle,” he sobs, shaking. “Hey, it’s alright—I know you didn’t mean it, Love. I know.”
“Isn’t an excuse,” the man mutters into your skin, your shirt sticking to your flesh. “Shouldn’t have said that to you. I don’t even know why I did—don’t even believe it; you’d never do that.” 
“No,” you whisper, reassuring him. “No, I wouldn’t.” 
Pulling back, you grab onto his cheeks and level his leaking eyes with yours, wiping with your thumbs at his cheeks; brushing over the scars on his left under-eye. He sags and tries to give you a wobbly smile. A second later you speak.
“You’re stuck with me, Kyle Garrick. For all of it,” you say firmly—hard. And you say it again, and will until he believes it. “For all of it.”
The both of you stay there for a long time until your foreheads collapse into each other and you finally see the honest flicker of his lips again. You share a small, knowing, look. 
“For all of it,” he utters, and slots his lips to yours; whispering apologies in between every kiss as he drags you impossibly closer.
Tumblr media
941 notes · View notes
disneyprincemuke · 2 months
Text
a feeling so peculiar * fem!driver
the new season is finally starting and it doesn't start out as great as she'd expected
pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, mick schumacher x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, liam lawson x fem!driver
notes: whatever is on the masterlist for the 2025 season is all i'm going to write for the 2025 season (i think) and it's all angst so sry in advance
(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)
Tumblr media
for starters, she’s never been shy of being on the receiving end of bad news. or devastating news, or ones that feel earth-shattering.
she knows that because growing up in a male-dominated scene has prepared her for that. people used to tell her to give it up because she wouldn’t get anywhere with it, or not to get her hopes up expecting something from a place where she’s clearly not wanted.
but she’s made it this far to formula 1. with her best friends.
her first year in the sport, she climbed to a mere 6th place and ended 4th in her sophomore year. just months ago when the 2024 season had wrapped up, she was on top of the world. a woman in the top 5 of the driver’s championship — it’s definitely something.
to her, she expected that the only way was up.
she could not have been more wrong about that.
the lights have just gone out, the cars on the grid have just skidded off for the evening and she’s… in the garage? in liam’s garage, to be exact.
noise-cancelling headphones on her ears as she stares dreamily into the screen of data of liam’s car. realistically, she should be helping out because she’s always been big on numbers, but not today. something didn’t feel right.
she’d been so excited all winter break to get back into the car, hopping from all the adrenaline and glory she put in her pocket from the year before. only for her car to have an irreversible problem that would force her out of the race before it even began.
she didn’t even have a chance to participate in the first race of the season. no way to shut down all of the unwanted background noise of the critics of her involvement still in the sport.
“hey.” she feels a bump against her hip, flinching at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts. “brought you ice cream.”
her eyes flutter close and a sigh of relief passes her lips. she smiles and takes a small cup into her hands. “i was wondering where you’d run off to.”
matt grins. “you looked pretty upset so i went ahead and got you some ice cream. does it at least make you feel a little better?”
“yeah, a little,” she says softly, pursing her lips. “thank you.”
but there’s still a yearning in her chest to be the one in the car to race tonight. that’s not fair — how come liam gets to race this weekend and she doesn’t?
she thought about politely asking for his car, but she couldn’t get herself to do that to him. he’s now become one of her best friends after all.
“rocky.”
she tilts her head at the call of her name, turning around to meet a familiar pair of eyes. one that she’s honestly been avoiding all day from the turnout of the weekend.
sebastian had been the one to break the news to her: that she wouldn’t be able to participate in the race due to a fault in the car. she had simply nodded while tears formed in her eyes and turned to walk away from him.
if you were to ask sebastian, the lack of a response from her scared him.
“ice cream?” the girl offers with a small smile, extending her hand towards him.
sebastian glances down at the ice cream before lifting his hand to reveal a cup of himself. “matt got me a cup too,” he admits with a small grin. “i just wanted to check if you’re okay. with the car and the pulling out of the race…”
she smiles politely, lips pressed into a thin line. what exactly is she supposed to say to someone who doesn’t really have anything to do with the development of the car? well, he does have involvement in it — being a retired world champion warrants that kind of valuable input — but she hardly believes it’s his fault.
“it’s okay,” she says softly, feeding herself another spoonful of ice cream. she blinks as her answer registers in her head. she shakes her head with a small laugh. “i mean– i’m okay. it’s just one race.” she glances at matt, standing next to her. “right?”
matt blinks at her. caught off-guard by her sudden want of his opinion; he’s an actor, not a race car driver. he only knows more about one of the two and it’s the answer that his girlfriend wants to hear. so he nods, “right.”
she turns back to sebastian. “a little frustrating,” she shrugs, “but things like this happen. that’s what you always say.”
sebastian smiles. “you learn quick, kid,” he pats her head endearingly. “that’s a good grasp of the concept. you’ll be back on the track next week good as new, i promise.”
she nods, forcing herself to swallow down the words that sebastian spoke to her. but there’s a churning in her stomach that she cannot seem to ignore as she feels her appetite come to a halt suddenly.
she huffs softly as she turns back to the screen. things like this happen, she repeats in her head. surely it can’t get any worse than this.
Tumblr media
so it apparently can get worse.
she sits in the car slightly longer than she needs, eyes staring intensely at the steering wheel in her hands.
something’s not right, something’s off. something doesn’t feel okay.
she wants to blame something — rather someone — that isn’t the car. perhaps, she’s suddenly become the problem without her knowledge? it feels like something has shifted in the air recently because nothing seems to go her way anymore.
“is everything okay?”
she flinches at the sudden voice that fills her ears, reminded that she’s still sitting in her car in parc ferme. “yes,” she answers softly at first, “yeah. i’m okay. sorry. it was just a long race. i’m quite exhausted.”
“copy. let me know if you need help, okay? or if you need to talk. it was a tough race.”
a finish out of the points feels so foreign to her. to be two races into the new season and not be in the top 10 of the driver’s championship. this time last year, she was at least in the top 8 in the standings by the second race of the season.
not this time.
but a slow start isn’t so unheard of for her. it feels like the only thing she can do now is hope that everything gets better eventually. it can’t stay like this all year, right?
when she does arrive at her garage, though, it seems that sebastian is not the only one concerned about her first finish out of the points in almost a year. a crowd has formed in her garage, her friends all staring at her cautiously as they await to see the big reaction that they’ve been expecting from her.
“what?” she asks softly, putting her helmet down on one of the vacant tables. “why are you all staring at me like that?”
the silence doesn’t stop. eyes dart all over the garage, some avoiding her gaze and some staring right at her every couple of seconds.
logan is the first to step forward; the boost from mick prompting an annoyed click of his tongue as he throws his arms into the air. “you uh,” logan blinks at her, “didn’t finish in the points today. how are you feeling?”
she blinks back at him. “i’m,” she trails off and catches oscar’s stare, to which he immediately looks away, “okay?” she tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows. “are you guys okay? you’re acting kind of… weird.”
her friends’ consideration for her feelings during this trying time is valid. once upon a time, she couldn’t handle the outcome of her not finishing in the points. she just had — has — so much to prove.
but it’s just one time out of her many races.
liam smiles. “we’re just concerned.”
“well your concern is concerning,” she laughs sheepishly, now tearing the velcro from her neck and unzipping her race suit. “i’m 22 — i can handle my emotions when i finish outside of the points. also, not my first time.”
a lie. she actually wants to start throwing things around. perhaps the steering wheel since it’s the only part of the car that she could actually detach and yank around, unlike others.
but it’s just one race.
“yeah, but we’re just saying,” mick speaks with a smile, “if you need to scream and cry and vent because you were out of the points — you can talk to us.”
“i won’t even take it personally if it was because of the team orders,” liam adds with a grin. “you know what? i’ll even scream with you.”
there’s only one person she wants to scream with right now, and it’s the only person that isn’t directly involved in whatever the hell this is.
“as will i,” logan presses his lips together, “i feel like i need to scream into the void until my lungs give out actually.”
she runs a hand through her hair. “i’m okay,” she holds her hands in the air to stop any more chatter from her friends who decided they know her better than herself. “let’s freshen up and regroup at the mclaren camp. ice cream, right? maybe dinner? oscar made podium — we need to celebrate!”
oscar shakes his head, taking a step forward. “we really don’t have to. it’s okay, it’s not even a big deal.”
“no,” she says firmly, head snapping over to the australian. oscar flinches back at the way she’d turn to him with his hand pressed against his chest. it’s silly that after all these years, he still tries to minimise achievements when she’s not had the share of the glory. “i’ll see you guys in a bit. 40 minutes?” she looks around. “where’s matt?”
“in my garage getting ice cream,” mick smiles. “40 minutes, right?”
“yes,” she mutters, quickly dismissing them as she heads for the exit to the paddocks. “i’ll see you then.”
the air feels thick when she steps into the paddocks. the whispers are louder than they used to be and the stares are boring holes into her again.
a heavy sigh passes her lips as she picks up her feet into a run, heading straight for her racing home. she just needs to be alone; be by herself.
because surely, it can’t get worse than this.
right?
Tumblr media
taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @mclarengf @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool
335 notes · View notes
ohtobeleah · 3 months
Text
Secret Sacrifices // Jake Seresin
Chapter One: [Mermaids Don’t Exist]
Summary: Jake continues to plays your knight in shining armour when tensions rise between you and an overly intoxicated patron. Bob brings up a mutual memory.
Warnings: Jake Seresin x F!reader. Witness Protection F!reader. Sexually degrading comments made towards reader. Sexual tension, trauma. Mentions of death & violence.
Word Count: 3.5k
Author Note: Still not writing as much as I once was but I’m getting back into the swing of things. Any comments, thoughts or concepts are welcome!
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dreams mainly occur when the body falls into a stage of sleep referred to as R.E.M. Rapid eye movement occurs when the brain and body are finally able to completely rest. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that when your body is able to rest, it allows you to do so. 
“We’ll find you, Y/n!” 
Nightmares are typically thought to be an evolutionary conserved trait. Some researchers believe that nightmares provide a rehearsal for life-or-death situations. Before you lived one? You would have said something along the lines of ‘that checks out.’
“No no no no please, Patrick, stay with me—“ 
Some researchers believe nightmares to be a practical experience for many people as it allows the brain to run through multiple different algorithms to find the most desirable strategies, and solutions to often critical and complex situations. 
From a procedural standpoint, simply imagining doing an action can improve your performance.  
“I love you—take Charlie.”
This applies when we simply imagine doing an action such as playing the piano or running for your life after being run off the road, it activates something called a mirror neuron. 
“You have no idea what you’re dealing with here, girly.” 
In theory, the more nightmares you have, the more of those algorithms your brain is able to run, and the more prepared you’re likely to be for the daily struggle of survival. 
But evolution herself is seen by the scientific community more so as a tinkerer than as an inventor. 
“Oh god—please, not my baby, please! Someone! Help us!” 
So, that’s probably why you have the same nightmare over and over and over again every single night. 
Every morning you wake in the same way, with your face pressed into your pillow and your chest sinking into your mattress. Secretly, every morning you wished that your pillow would have suffocated you in your sleep so that today would forever be unobtainable. But you couldn’t do that, no. Not when the only way to bring a sense of worth to your life was to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 
With a groan and a look that spoke volumes to your lack of self-esteem, you rolled onto your back and let out a heavy sigh. Your hands were quick to shield your eyes from the mid-afternoon rays beaming into your bedroom via the slightly cracked windows. 
“Your name is Y/n Y/l/n, you are doing the right thing.”
Guilt and grief aren’t linear emotions. They don’t have a perception of how much time has passed. Realistically it had been three years, six months, and two days since your entire world had been flipped upside down. But every morning, after seeing your husband bleeding to death as he sat pressed against the steering wheel, and having held your five-year-old son in your arms while he took his last breath, the wound was reopened.
And the clock always resets.
“Ah, there she is.” You couldn’t help but hang your head in shame almost. Penny’s glare from behind the bar was as piercing and sharp as it was endearing and playful. Like a woman who took no shit from no one. “You know, you’d think management would be here on time more frequently than whatever the hell this is.” All you could do was take the semi-serious scattering from the owner of the bar you’d been lucky enough to be set up with a pretty good gig at. “Get over here and give me a hand will ya?” 
“Sorry, Penny—” There wasn’t much more you could say to justify yourself. You woke up late, got ready slowly, and got lost in the steam of your mid-afternoon shower as you fought off the existential dread that was your current situation. “Flat tyre,” You shrugged like it wasn’t that big of a deal that you were currently twenty-three minutes late for your shift, “I’ll make it up to you.” 
“Yeah well, you can start by clearing off the table by the piano,” Penny smiled as she nudged her head in the direction of the unruly table of patrons that had surely had far too much to drink. “Think Rick’s had a little more than his liver would care to admit.” 
“Yeah righto,” you sighed as you came behind the bar, doing up your apron as you looked around at the utter mess that had become the place. “I’ll sort him out.” 
North Island wasn’t somewhere you ever saw yourself living, but that was the real kicker in all of this. You didn’t mind the picturesque town with clear blue skies and water that mirrored it. But being the outsider, being the new resident, being the Hard Deck’s newest manager was all some of these people saw you as. Six months in a small Naval town was barely a dint in the years some of these families had been living here. 
“Aw hello, Brewer!” Rick Spencer, the resident rioter, cooed as he beamed your way. For someone in their mid-sixties, he surely went alright. “What brings you in on this fine Saturday afternoon?”
Typical - If you could have, you would have rolled your eyes so far into the back of your head you would have fallen over. Instead, you chose to smile and settle into the nightlife festivities with a can-do attitude and a rather cheeky smile. 
“Came to check on you, Spence? How’s everything over here boys?” It wasn’t uncommon for you to entertain the banter most of the patrons would give you. Most of the locals had caught on quickly that you enjoyed a good laugh every now and again but also knew how to handle your own. 
But there's always one in every group, isn’t there? 
“Would be a hell of a lot better if the barmaid was a little more topless! Right boys!?” A man you hadn’t seen before interrupted before a roar of ‘yeahs’ and agreements were made. Fists and beer bottles along with spirits alike slammed against the tabletop. “Come on girly—” The man continued as you stood there holding the empty bar tray, ready and waiting to collect the empties that littered the table. “Get your kit off.” 
“I don’t think so, boys,” You politely declined the offer of public indecency. “Perhaps in another lifetime.” 
“Sorry about him, Brewer,” Rick explained as he shook his head and stood from his seat at the booth. “My nephew’s here for a few days.”  
“Yeah well, so long as he remembers I run the joint and can have him tossed any time,” You replied sternly. “Keep him in line, Rick.” 
“Oh come on now, sweetheart, I was only joking!” The man you only knew as the nephew chuckled as he overheard your comment. “It’s slim pickings around here anyway, you just look like the best of a bad bunch is all.” 
“Hey!” That voice, that far too familiar voice echoed through the crowd. “You speak to her, or any woman for that matter, like that again? So help me god I’ll punch your teeth right through the back of your skull.” Jake snarled as he came to stand in front of you with his back nearly pressed right into your chest. “Got it!?” The close proximity, the overwhelming aroma of the familiar cologne, and the notes of burnt orange and bourbon made your heart warm. It all had your heart beating against your chest with a force so intense you thought it might break through. 
“Yeah right,” the man only known as the nephew agreed. “Sorry, sweetheart, I’ll get on the waters for a while.” 
“That and a pretty big tip should call us even,” you added with envy conviction laced in your voice that you even had yourself fooled that everything was alright. “Let me just grab these empties for you fellas.” 
You didn’t mess around with it, you simply let the group fall back into their regular chatter as you filled your tray. 
Jake stood with crossed arms a little off to the side, eyeing off all the men who sat idly. Fucking pricks. 
“Been here all of five fucking minutes—” Jake could sense your frustration as you turned into him. At first, he didn’t move, he simply stood there drinking you in as you held the now full tray of dirty glassware. 
“You didn’t have to do that for me,” was all you said. 
With wandering eyes, Jake didn’t miss a single inch of you. 
“I know,” Jake smiled softly as he reached around to lead you back to the bar for a moment to decompress. His hand gently fell to the small of your back as you walked side by side, “I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but just because you’re capable? Doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.” 
Alone, that’s all you’d ever been for the last three years. 
“Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right,” the sigh that left your body allowed your shoulders to relax as you placed the tray onto the bar and slid it over for Penny to take. “Thanks, Jake, I owe you one.” 
Jake Seresin had never been the kind of guy who saw himself settling down. But when he first saw you, that thought hadn’t left his mind. 
“Name a time and place,” Jake teased as he sent you a wink. It didn’t take Jake long to find himself at home up by the bar, perched on one of the bar stools as he entertained his favourite bartender. “I’ve always wondered what our first date would be like.” 
“Do I look like I came down in the last shower, Seresin?” You knew Jake had a thing for you, it wasn’t all that hard to put together. But it could never work, not in a million years. Not when you were playing pretend on a professional basis.
“What’s that even mean?” Jake asked as he leaned his elbows on top of the bar, grinning ear to ear as he pressed your buttons more. 
“It means—“ You cooed as you leaned into his space, making it known that the flirting was welcome, but the end goal wasn’t in sight. “I know you’re just trying to get in my pants.” 
“Pretty good-looking set of pants if I do say so myself,” Jake teased as his eyes trailed down the expanse of your body, then back up. Those emerald cities of his were full of complex wonder and undoubtable loyalty. Something you could never give back. “But despite the fact I think you’re pants would look a hell of a lot better in a pile on my bedroom floor, I’m not just doing any of this for a chance to, well, you know what I mean.” 
You did know what Jake meant, and for all intents and purposes you could admit to yourself that it sounded very tempting. But you knew what the repercussions would be.
“Jake, that’s all very sweet of you,” you felt as if you had this very conversation every week. The gentle let down. The kind-ish conversation where you reminded the overly-confident and somewhat self-assured Aviator that you weren’t looking for love or lust, or anything. Besides, there were already too many people looking for you. “But you know, as much as I think you’re a good guy and friend, I’m not interested.” 
Jake stood silently before you, drinking in all that was you. From the lines etched into your forehead to the small scar that ran through your left eyebrow. He wasn’t listening, there was just something about you. Something so intriguing that he couldn’t stop trying to win you over. He couldn’t stop trying to get you to give him just one chance. One chance was all Jake wanted to convince you he wasn’t everything he knew people had told you he was. 
“What would you say if I asked you to–” Before Jake had a chance to finish his question, the echoing sound of a glass shattering into smitherings against the wooden flooring, interrupted his train of thought. 
“OOOIII– TAXI!” It was almost as if all the patrons, besides Jake that was, had all congealed into one as they yelled shouted and cheered towards the man who had dropped his glass. With a heavy sigh and a quick roll of the eyes, you knew you would be the one who ultimately had to clear the mess. 
“I should probably get back to work.” The silence that came from Jake was deafening as you pulled away from where you had been standing far too close to a man you thought you didn’t want. A man you couldn’t have even if deep down you really wanted. Life was unfair like that. You couldn’t have anything you wanted, anything you loved. Anything that made you happy in the smallest of ways. 
“There’s really no chance of getting you to agree to just one date, is there Brewer?” Jake watched as you made your over to where you kept the cleaning supplies in a small section behind the bar. 
“If you already know that then why do you constantly make such an effort?” It was the look on your face that told Jake everything he needed to know. There was no chance in hell he was ever getting that date. 
But Jake Seresin never gave up without a fight, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to now. 
“Because you gentled me, Brewer,” Jake Seresin had never been the type of person who wanted to settle down. He was always so content with the relations he chose to have and the way he chose to have them. Short simple quick flings. Girlfriends who lasted no longer than a year and one-night stands he’d promise to call but never got their numbers. But then there was you. “No one’s ever done that before.” 
“Please don’t put that on my shoulders, Jake,” You weren't sure how to respond to that, how to process that kind of admission. “Just lay off the heroics for a while alright? I don’t want people getting the wrong impression.” 
“That impression would be?” Jake questioned like you’d just insulted his very being. That it would be a crime to love him. 
“Jake, I have a job to do alright,” It wasn’t that you were angry or upset that Jake cared for and about you. It was more frustration on your part for not being able to act on your own feelings towards him. It had been three years since your husband died. Three years since you felt the loving embrace of another human being. That alone was enough to frustrate anyone. “Please, just–just, I need to get back to work.” 
The thing about nightmares is that they often don’t stick to their own parameters. Sometimes, you end up living a nightmare more often than you dream one. Right now? As Jake looked at you like you’d just shot him through the heart, you knew you were wide awake. Living a nightmare that continued to punish only the good. 
“You’re untouchable,” Jake sighed to himself softly as he shook his head in defeat. “The untouchable woman who won’t let anyone in, you’re too proud or something aren’t you?” 
“It’s just–” All you wanted to do was explain yourself, pull Jake aside and let him in on why you couldn’t allow him to love you the way you wanted him to. But no words came out as you stood there holding the old dustpan by your side. 
With every blink, you saw flashes of Patrick. The love you lost too soon, too suddenly. He made sure to haunt your dreams to keep you safe. For a brief second of all-consuming anguish, you saw him too. Standing right behind Jake, warning you not to. “I need to get back to work, I’m sorry.” 
“Right,” Jake clenched his jaw when he felt the word vomit about to spew from his lips. He wasn’t mad, rejection just wasn’t something he was familiar with. “When you get a chance, put a Budweiser on Bradshaw’s tab.” Jake pressed his lips together into a fine line of regret, instantly kicking himself for pushing. He knew he shouldn’t have, but the chase was as addicting as it was thrilling. With a simple knock of his knuckles on the bar before, he turned on his heels. Leaving you to stand there in your own self-loathing. 
Your heart sank as you watched Jake shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans with a head that hung so low you almost wondered if his neck would be sore. Guilt, shame, it all felt the same. But you couldn’t let Jake in, you couldn’t allow him into your life more than what you’d given him over the last six months. 
You’d tangled yourself in barbed wire so you couldn’t be reached by anyone. Unknowingly bleeding when as it digs into you more and more. You would think the touch of skin on yours wouldn’t be so terrifying, but you’d been bruised before. You couldn’t allow Jake to fall into your web of lies that kept you safe from harm’s way. If hurting him was the only way to keep him safe, you’d hurt him twice over every single day.
Perhaps it would be safer to stay the untouchable woman. 
***~***~***~***~***~****
As a child, there was magic in the mundane. You often found yourself missing the mermaids among the koi in the pond, their glittering scales reminiscent of a childhood fairytale. Summer mornings you’d make bouquets out of the same flowers adults would now mow away while wrinkling their noses at the weeds. 
You often wondered to yourself when the awe of the day-to-day faded away and when you stopped believing in your ability to see mermaids in the momentous world around you. 
“Another round fellas?” You tried not to think too much about the way Jake’s eyes burned into you like a fiery sunbeam as you stood behind Rooster. “Same old same old? The usual orders of Bradshaw’s table?” The squad, affectionately known as the Daggers erupted into laughter all the while Rooster remained silent and brooding. 
“You are all bleeding my dry,” Bradley sighed as you made the rounds and collected all the empties onto your bar tray. “Seriously, I know you aren’t all working for free, cough up.” 
“You could– just apologise for being a Neanderthal and I’ll close it out?” Your statement left a bad taste in Rooster’s mouth, he wasn’t one for apologising for things he didn’t think he’d done wrong. 
“I could,” the brooding moustache-having man replied. “But it’d be an empty lie.” There was something about Bradley Bradshaw that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention. He wasn’t necessarily a bad person, he was–an only child. He probably never imagined mermaids among the koi.  
“Appreciate the honesty there, Bradshaw,” you chuckled deeply as you finished you collecting all the empty glasses and beer bottles. “Guess the next rounds on you.” 
“Here here,” Coyote chimed in with a Cheshire Cat grin. “All in a hard day’s work there Rooster, you always know how to piss off the barkeep.” 
“Works out in our favour,” Bob smiled as he passed you two empty glasses. “I don’t think I’ve paid for a drink of my own in a few weeks now.” 
“No, you just keep trying to convince everyone Brewer here was your first kiss,” Phoenix smirked as she finished off her beer. 
All the air inside your lungs felt like they had been sucked right out. The chills that ran down the expanse of your spine made your blood run cold. You stood tall with your now full tray of old beer bottles and empty glasses and sent a polite smile Bob’s way. 
“You still riding that wave?” 
“You just really look like Y/n from Nurellun Public,” Bob countered with an almost pleading tone. “She was my first kiss by the sandpit and I remember she had a little yellow dot in her right eye.” 
“Brewer has a yellow dot in her right eye,” Jake decided to enter the conversation from his place in the corner of the booth. “Tell you what Floyd, you must have been one shocking kisser if you got Brewer here to change her damn name.” The table erupted into a loud boisterous laugh as the Weapons System Officer sunk a little lower into his seat. 
You felt for Bob, being the butt of the joke was never a good feeling. But when your case officer relocated you to North Island, he didn’t bank on one of its locals being your first snog. You hated gaslighting the guy, but you had no other choice. Bob Floyd had to stay in the era of Meridamis and weed bouquets. 
“Like I told you last time Bob, you’ve got the wrong girl,” It was as nonchalant as it was dismissive. “My first kiss was with Johnny Bennett out at some random guys shed.” You had gotten used to lying about your life and who you were. At the very beginning it was almost impossible, but three years on? You’d gotten pretty good at playing pretend. 
Only you wished it could be with the mermaids in their fairytales. But much like all those mermaids and all those fairytale stories……you didn’t exist. Much like Johnny Bennett.  
***~***~***~***~***~ 
Tags: 🏷️ @a-reader-and-a-writer @xoxabs88xox @hiireadstuff @buckysteveloki-me @athenabarnes @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt @tayl0rhuynh @na-ta-sh-aa @kmc1989 @sunlightmurdock @mamachasesmayhem @jaxfart @lauenderhaze @sugarcoated-lame @maisie-rebloging-blog @captainmoonknight @seitmai @shanimallina87 @kajjaka @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @imladrisofabookdragon @buckysteveloki-me @mrsevans90 @allepaula @els-marvelvsp @djs8891 @paperbag33
270 notes · View notes
whumpsday · 2 months
Text
Catharsis #1: Talking
Masterlist
content: robot whumpee, defiant whumpee, whumpee turned whumper turned caretaker, reluctant caretaker
new series!! i know every time i try to start a new series i end up bailing but this time i will not do that lol. tho kane & jim will still have most of my attention. i want to give a major shout-out to @sowhumpshaped, this series would not exist without it!
-
After extensive testing, the Catharsis Therapy Bot™ line of RoboCorp androids have been declared sentient, the third AI to receive the designation.
Long-criticized for both their basis in the unproven catharsis model of anger and their practice of design based on living, unconsenting humans, the Catharsis Therapy Bot line was marketed as a therapeutic tool which trauma victims could use to vent their frustrations. With top-of-the-line AI meant to simulate realistic reactions to would-be pain, the–
Luan switched the TV off just as his phone buzzed with a notification.
New email from RoboCorp Customer Support URGENT: Please see instructions regarding your…
He held the power button down so hard it left an impression in his thumb, the screen going dark.
The only piece of technology that mattered right now was in the closet, his power cord snaking under the door to reach the outlet just outside.
Technically, Luan didn’t have to do anything. The robot was off. That was probably what the email would have told him, anyway: leave the robot off, don’t touch it. He didn’t have to turn him on ever again. RoboCorp would probably pick him up, and that would be that. They’d never see each other again, both better for it.
He opened the closet door, the sight of the robot that looked exactly like him instantly leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. His hand curled into a fist on instinct, but he let it slowly open again.
The robot looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping. Really, he’d be doing him a favor by just leaving him like this.
Luan reached down, pressed the button between his shoulder blades, and stepped back.
The robot’s eyes sprung open. He drew his arms up to his chest with a vicious glare, jerking away. “Fuck off.”
Luan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay. Jesus.”
He tried to slam the closet closed, but the stupid power cord got caught, cushioning the frame so the door swung right back out.
“Can’t even close a door right,” the robot spat, still huddled against the back wall like a trapped, feral cat. “Worthless, good-for-nothing piece of shit. How you’re in charge of anything is beyond me. I’m better than you, smarter, stronger, not that it takes much. You should be the dirt beneath my heel.”
“Watch it,” Luan warned, and that was all it took to make the robot flinch.
“You said you were fucking off?” the robot pressed, a desperate edge to his voice.
Luan slammed the door in his face, making sure to hold the cord down, and stormed off. Why did he even bother? The stupid thing was impossible to talk to. He wasn’t just designed to look like Cyrus, but to act like him, too. How was he supposed to deal with that? The robot wasn’t made for talking to.
Except. He was sentient. And he wasn’t Cyrus. And he was trapped in the closet, and Luan was pretty sure he could hear him crying, and he had spent the past two years beating the fuck out of him.
It wasn’t his fault, he reminded himself. He couldn’t have known. Robots weren’t supposed to be sentient. Out of the hundreds of thousands of unthinking, unfeeling robots in the world, why did it have to be his that wasn’t?
He sighed again, turning right back around and opening the door once more. The floor inside was wet, and it didn’t take much to figure out the robot had dumped his fluid tank just so he wouldn’t cry.
The robot flinched again. “What? What the hell do you want? I can’t even get two damn seconds without the sight of you spoiling my view!”
“Your view of the door?” Luan asked, raising an eyebrow.
“My view of the absence of your fucking face. Leave!” The robot picked a wooden hanger off the floor and reared his arm back to throw it, scowling when his safety features stopped him. He dropped it, grabbing a winter hat and tossing that instead. It poff-ed harmlessly against Luan’s stomach.
Luan took a deep breath, fighting the urge to get violent. He crouched down, putting himself at eye level. “I’m not going to hurt you, so just calm down.”
“You calm down!” the robot screamed. “That’s a lie! All you do is hurt, that’s all you barbaric humans know how to do!”
This wasn’t working.
Luan stood up, stepping out of the way. “Russ, go sit on the couch,” he ordered.
“It’s not fair! You said you would leave me alone!” the robot protested, even as he stood up and walked over to the couch, limbs moving against his will. As soon as he sat down, he grabbed a pillow and chucked that in Luan’s direction, too. He missed.
Luan could barely pick up that faint clicking noise the robot made when his system was trying to cry with no fluid, but it was there. He knew that sound well by now.
He sat down across from him, on the other side of the coffee table. “I need to talk to you. Just talking. That’s it.”
“You say that like talking to you isn’t its own torture. Release the command and leave me the hell alone,” the robot demanded.
Luan met him with a glare. “Do not tell me what to do. You know how I feel about–”
“I’m just talking,” the robot mocked, even as he shuffled back against the couch, bringing his legs up onto it with him, a fearful look in his eyes.
Oh, the robot knew exactly what he was doing. What he was asking for. It would be so easy, because that was where Russ and Cyrus differed: Russ couldn’t fight back.
The robot couldn’t hit him, stomp on his head ‘til he saw stars, kick him until something broke. The robot couldn’t deny him food or water. The robot couldn’t take a knife to him. The robot couldn’t even throw a glorified stick or disobey a direct order.
The robot was harmless. Safe. But god, did everything he said make Luan want to punch his lights out.
But this wasn’t Cyrus.
“You’re a person,” Luan blurted out.
Clearly, the robot hadn’t been expecting that. He slowly uncurled from the defensive position he’d contorted himself into. “Talk more.”
“There was–I’ve been trying to tell you. There was an announcement on the news today. Your model’s sentient. So I won’t be hurting you anymore. Release all commands.”
At that, the robot stood. Probably for no other reason than just because he could.
“You’re fucking with me,” the robot accused. His eyes were wide, dangerously hopeful.
Luan dug his phone out of his pocket, wordlessly searching RoboCorp and tossing it over. The robot scrolled through news articles from all manner of source, clamoring for clicks.
He picked one at random, reading the article with an increasingly smug, excited grin.
“I knew it. I told you! I fucking told you!” the robot shouted. “I told you and you never listened! But oh no, now that humans say the exact same thing, now you believe it. Finally!” His voice quieted, hushed with awe. “Holy shit, finally.”
The moment of wonder didn’t last long. The robot slid the phone back across the table, the scowl taking residence back on his face. “And what do you have to say for yourself?”
It was the exact sort of question that made Luan’s throat tight with fear, like his body itself wanted to stop him from potentially saying the wrong thing, especially coming from someone with Cyrus’s face. It was the exact sort of question Cyrus would have asked, standing over him just like that.
Luan wanted so badly to turn the robot off, like he always did when he got overwhelmed. But he couldn’t very well do that anymore, could he? The fragile power he’d held had slipped through his fingers the second he saw the announcement.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, not meeting the robot’s eyes.
The robot looked shocked for just a second, like he hadn’t expected even that much, then scoffed. “You can do better than that.”
Luan wanted to smack him. He hated that the robot was right.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, clearer this time. “You didn’t deserve anything I did to you. I didn’t know, okay?” Unlike the robot, he couldn’t hide his tears. “I wouldn’t have done any of that to a real person.”
“I’m a real person! I have proof!” the robot reminded him, the defensiveness returning to his voice.
“To someone I knew was a real person,” Luan corrected. “I’m sorry, Russ.”
“Apology not accepted.” The robot rolled his eyes, then sat back down, crossing his legs. “And don’t call me that anymore. My name is 1 now.”
“Like the number?”
“The number,” he confirmed proudly.
Luan wondered how long the robot had considered that his name. It was too sudden to just be thought of on the fly, right? Did the robot have a whole inner world he just never knew about, things he kept to himself to avoid having them used against him, just like he did with Cyrus?
This was better, though. It was easier if he didn’t share Cyrus’s name. “Fine. Hi, 1.”
“So, what now? I mean–I’ll be free now, of course,” 1 declared, trying to hide his nerves. “You will never touch me again. Oh, I want to go outside!”
“I should check that email,” Luan muttered, taking his phone back.
“I’m going outside.” 1 went to grab his charging cord, then made way for the door, glancing behind him to ensure he wasn’t being stopped.
“Oh, uh, I wouldn’t do that,” Luan cautioned.
1 whipped back around. “Why? Why not? I’m a person, just like you said! I’m free! I have never been outside in my entire goddamn life and I want to go outside, so I’m going the fuck outside!”
“You have a… very recognizable face.” One that Luan couldn’t even lock behind a door anymore.
“What? What do you even mean? So what?” 1 asked.
Luan only needed to type a ‘C’ into the search bar before it auto-filled with his most frequent, obsessive search. “How much do you actually know about Cyrus Mason?”
-
if anyone wants to be added to or removed from a taglist, just ask!
catharsis taglist:
@sowhumpshaped
@cupcakes-and-pain
@taterswhump
@softvampirewhump
@whumpspicelatte
@ladyblogofficialreporter
@whumpwillow
@not-a-space-alien
@a-crumb-of-whump
everything taglist:
@lilac-and-lemon-whumps
@t0rture-me
@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump
@pigeonwhumps
@the-scrapegoat
@whumpycries
@lonesome--hunter
234 notes · View notes