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saintsenara · 1 year

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We share so many terrible faves! I've selected five per pairing:

Sirius/Severus:

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

Severus/Voldemort:

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Bella/Voldemort:

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

Tom/Harry:

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Tom/Dumbledore:

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

thank you for the ask, anon! it's so nice to meet someone else cultured...

this ended up being enormous, so i've put the answers under the cut [thank you for giving me a very fun way to spend my breaks at work writing this out]. read on for snack, snapemort, bellamort, tomarry, and riddledore nonsense.

[ship game here.]

sirius black/severus snape

6. how do they make up/apologise after an argument?

by fucking.

to the extent that the first time they sleep together without arguing beforehand frightens them both so much - because, oops, you actually like each other boys, it’s not just hate-sex, sorry about that - that they have an argument afterwards instead.

14. do they enjoy pda or are they more private with affection?

when they’re pretending to have no interest whatsoever in each other, they avoid anything which could even remotely be interpreted as pda. it’s this - the fact that they immediately stop getting in each other’s space, and coming up with witty insults, and jabbing their wands in each other’s faces [behave] - that means everyone else knows they’re sleeping together. lupin tells sirius this and enjoys watching his old friend almost faint.

once they’re forced to accept - very much against their wills - that they’re in a real relationship, and that people know about it and the world hasn’t ended, i think sirius is very keen on pda, entirely because he thinks it annoys snape.

he’s wrong. but snape isn’t going to admit that.

24. how do their personalities affect their relationship? do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

the reason why snack is such an intriguing ship is because they’re narrative mirrors - and, particularly, because they’re both men whose relationship with the world around them is driven by a desire for forgiveness which they are never able to offer themselves.

that shared underlying faithfulness, steadfastness, capacity to endure, and the shared understanding of grief - and not only grief, but grief you brought directly upon yourself - and unrequited love [the implication of canon is absolutely that sirius’ love for james was not simply platonic, and i’ll die on that hill] forms the bones of their relationship, and is the thing which helps them survive the fact that the more surface-level aspects of their personalities - sirius’ recklessness, snape’s massive victim complex, sirius’ fits of melancholy, snape’s intolerance for those who find life hard or unfair, the fact that they’re both capable of being incredibly cruel - clash constantly.

32. do either of them drink? if so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

in the canon timeline, they both survive the misery of the second war by using alcohol as a crutch [although snape is less destructive, since he needs to remain sober enough to deal with voldemort]. should one overindulge, the other just leaves him in misery, believing it to serve him right.

after the war, however, i think both of them eventually come to the realisation that part of their long-overdue healing processes involves going tee-total. snape gets very into brewing interesting cordials. sirius becomes an expensive loose-leaf tea snob.

38. who’s got a quicker temper?

their argument over this destroyed the kitchen at grimmauld place.

41. what would they do if they lost the other?

continue on in silent grief, as they were already doing with the memories of lily and james.

severus snape/lord voldemort

5. do they argue often? if so, what do they argue about?

so, obviously, in most cases, attempting to argue with lord voldemort will be the last thing you ever do, but there must be an established frankness to the way that snape speaks to him which meant he could get through his "here’s why i was hours late to your resurrection" explanation without being murdered. voldemort appears to dislike sycophancy [or, at least, to think that he does] and he abhors liars [snape: lmao], so i do think - controversially - that he would regard a bit of pushback from his favourite death eaters as evidence of him being correct to rank them so highly.

as for what they argue about? well, snape was pissed that he had to host pettigrew in his home. voldemort was paying for that for months.

8. what do they love most about the other? why?

"love" might be pushing it, but…

snape’s reasons for joining the death eaters are varied and complex, across a whole spectrum from misguided to contemptible, but it’s very clear that none of them were ever the conviction that "the dark lord will put the purebloods in charge" that hooked in characters like regulus black or lucius malfoy.

what gets him, instead, is clearly a belief that voldemort can offer him a way to transcend a background which he hates and which - given the way we know the wizarding world works - will actively hinder him in his adult life. [as an aside, i think this is the reason for his view, which otherwise seems nonsensical, that lily is overreacting to his interest in the death eaters: he thinks that they could offer her opportunities otherwise restricted to her as a muggleborn.]

and, in this, i think he comes closer than many other death eaters to understanding how voldemort actually thinks, and this is the reason for voldemort’s obvious - and unusual - affection for him. voldemort clearly has a great desire to be perceived, and the sense that snape is someone like him, someone who understands him, someone he has given the opportunities denied to him and essentially made in his own image, is meaningful to him.

similarly, snape feels seen by voldemort - and, in particular, seen for the intellectual creativity of which he is so proud. voldemort describes himself in goblet of fire as a keen inventor of spells and potions, as well as someone with an insatiable academic curiosity and extremely flexible morals on how that curiosity is sated. even once he switches sides - since dumbledore is, sensibly, wary of his undiminished interest in the dark arts - i can see voldemort remaining the only person snape feels truly understands just how much his intelligence and creativity matters to him.

17. how well do they communicate? are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? why?

on the one hand, given that - canonically - snape spends the majority of their acquaintance lying to voldemort and voldemort kills him and only half says sorry for it, obviously they don’t communicate well at all.

but, on the other, there must - as i’ve said - be a frankness to their communication style. a common gripe i have with fanon!snape is that his skill as an occlumens is portrayed as the result of granite emotional repression - occlumency, instead, requires manipulating your emotional responses to questioning in a way which enables you to lie fluently, and snape’s skill in the medium comes from the fact that his authentic self is incredibly petty.

indeed, he displays this in front of voldemort - his interaction with yaxley in the dark lord ascending is uncomplicatedly spiteful, and voldemort doesn’t seem surprised by it; the way he speaks to wormtail in spinner’s end suggests that voldemort has given his tacit approval for snape to humiliate pettigrew; the fact that he tells bellatrix to report what he says in the same scene to others suggests that voldemort would not be angry to hear him insult his erstwhile favourite.

similarly, snape’s emotional volatility must have been displayed to voldemort at other points - he is implied to have begged desperately for lily’s survival, for example, and it’s clear that a great deal of voldemort’s opinion on harry [especially the fact that he mentions more than once in the later books that harry has been pampered and protected] must come from snape’s unhinged dislike of him.

so, while snape’s communication style with voldemort is dishonest, i don’t think it can be described as inauthentic. in fact, voldemort is, like dumbledore, probably one of the only people who sees the full emotional range of snape.

[voldemort, of course, communicates only in half-truths - i think he’s probably more open with snape than with most other people, but that’s not saying a lot.]

18. how do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

when snape is sick or wounded, lord voldemort convinces himself that the only reason he is brewing healing potions, and watching carefully for how they interact with orange juice and chicken soup, is because he has a readily available test subject in the vicinity.

being immortal means you never get sick, and no amount of "you have a fever, my lord, and you should rest" will convince him otherwise. snape, since he’s fond of his limbs, doesn’t force the issue.

33. how do they flirt? who’s the worse flirt?

by arguing about potions theory. voldemort once described himself as "quite impressed" by one of snape’s modifications to a common poison. snape considers it the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to him.

if by "worse" we mean most incorrigible, it’s voldemort - although that’s only if you consider being threatened to be flirting. snape, with his latent humiliation kink, does.

if by "worse" we mean least sophisticated, it’s also voldemort. a menacing aura is not the same as having game.

bellatrix lestrange/lord voldemort

4. who initiates affection? why does the other not initiate affection as much?

she’s more casually tactile, which drives him round the bend, because someone constantly trying to stroke your arm at death eater meetings doesn’t do great things for your "evil and unapproachable" vibe. the absence of passing affection - hand-holding, cuddles etc. - upsets bellatrix [who, whatever else was wrong with her childhood, did grow up with that sort of openness with her sisters], although she is careful never to mention this to him.

but, this being said, voldemort is clearly a man who is, deep down, desperate for affection, and i think on occasion the dam must burst - only ever behind closed doors, only ever when there is plausible deniability [he was drinking, she had done something she was being particularly rewarded for etc.] of his feelings for her - and he must reveal himself as deeply, and probably oddly tenderly, passionate.

9. what do they dislike most about the other? why?

i’ve answered this here.

19. do they wear each other’s clothes/jewellery?

bellatrix thinks his dress sense is too ascetic, voldemort thinks hers is too ostentatious. neither would be seen dead in the other’s clothes.

she will never understand the significance of him lending her a large gold locket - which, if she’s honest, she thought was quite ugly - to wear to a new year’s eve party in 1978.

34. do they have any inside jokes?

bellatrix does a fantastic impression of fudge seeing them in the ministry atrium.

48. do they talk about their future together? why or why not?

she does, he only half pays attention, convinced that she is in such awe of him that she would never make a decision that impacted them both without his express permission. this comes back to bite him, when he discovers he was thinking about a rare curse he wanted to try on some muggle prisoners while bellatrix was talking about how her youthful desire to never have children had been changed by her experience in azkaban.

in a voldemort wins au - with or without delphini in it [i’m quite fond of her as a concept, but perhaps that’s because i’ve neither seen nor read the cursed child] - i think that bellatrix does snap and demands that he acknowledges their relationship in some way, since his go-to excuse of "nothing is certain in war" no longer applies. rodolphus is shuffled off to become the ambassador to some faraway place and bellatrix gets to hear overcautious ministry underlings refer to her as "my lady" at state events.

he's never a good father, though. i just can’t see it.

harry potter/tom riddle

12. do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

both harry and voldemort are very self-sufficient, so i don’t think they would be the sort of people who went mad with pining if they were apart from each other for a while. voldemort’s enormous ego means he can’t see a reason to be the jealous type [canonically, rodolphus would be dead if he were, i'm sure], while harry’s commitment to just suffering through stuff means he endures separations without temptation. their shared mental connection - exploited by hundreds of authors for porn reasons - helps there too.

however, one of the issues with your boyfriend being a terrorist [even if, occasionally, he’s reformed] is that it’s very difficult to leave him alone without worrying what he might get up to. harry prefers it if they’re joined at the hip, just for his own peace of mind.

20. how do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? is this method of comfort effective?

voldemort awkwardly pats harry’s head and tells him to get over it. harry says something which voldemort decides to take as colossally insensitive. in the ensuing argument, they forget what they were upset about.

22. are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

yes. harry spends canon roasting the death eaters, why not scale his operations up to the big boss? he regards pointing out that he won literally all of their encounters/that voldemort didn’t realise he was a horcrux/that he stabbed the diary/that his body isn’t ⅓ wormtail/that he knows more than one offensive spell/that he has a nose as foreplay.

30. what are their respective love languages? do their love languages work well together?

tom "magpie" riddle’s love language is gift-giving. harry, who is shown in canon to understand the childhood trauma behind voldemort’s hoarding, takes the theory that this is something he would like seriously but is not a great gift-giver in practice. he makes hermione give him lots of suggestions, and sees it as a net positive that this forces voldemort to be nice to her.

harry’s love language is acts of service. voldemort’s belief that he alone knows how to do everything properly and so harry shouldn’t be forced to do anything without his help, fulfils this surprisingly effectively.

37. who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

harry is probably the more emotionally sensitive one - which is a damning indictment on how emotionally damaged voldemort is - and the one who, as he comes to terms with the griefs of his childhood, is least afraid to show his feelings.

however, harry is very good at compartmentalising his feelings and, outside of order of the phoenix, has a remarkable capacity to just let things go. voldemort, in contrast, is canonically someone who has a very mercurial temper - he feels things much more suddenly and deeply than harry, and holds grudges so profoundly that he tanks generations of students’ education to indulge them. part of their relationship is him learning that, sometimes, harry’s willingness to not fester in emotion is good, and harry learning that screaming at people is, on occasion, very cathartic.

albus dumbledore/lord voldemort

10. do they share any hobbies or interests? how do these things bring them together?

although by the later books the idea that voldemort has an interest in anything other than dark magic [or, if you go by the films, an interest in anything other than shrieking] has gone out the window, it’s clear that he and dumbledore are the characters in the series who can best be described as polymaths, and that voldemort is one of the few people alive who is dumbledore’s intellectual equal [and, maybe, in some areas, superior]. i like the idea of them competing to out-do each other with huge displays of set-piece magic [dumbledore is unimpressed by the horcrux cave, voldemort takes that personally] and bickering constantly about new techniques or theories which would enable that, both enjoying - but never admitting to enjoying - the fact that the other actually understands what they’re talking about.

i also like the idea of dumbledore finally getting his grand tour, somewhere on the albanian riviera.

27. how do they say “i love you” non-verbally?

by not murdering each other. and by voldemort keeping quiet about the mistake he found in the formula for the eleventh use of dragon's blood.

35. is their relationship a secret? if so, why?

my preferred riddledore dynamic is either student/teacher [don’t judge me] or both of them growing so tired of their spies’ incompetence during wartime that they just start communicating directly with each other. so yes.

but even in a hypothetical happy-ever-after, i still think the relationship would be kept secret - not at voldemort’s request, but at dumbledore’s. dumbledore’s relationship to his own sexuality is defined by denial - while i don’t think at all that he's ashamed to be gay [or bi, or pan, or however else you think he might identify], i think he does view desire itself in a negative sense, since it was allowing himself to give in wholeheartedly to desire in his relationship with grindelwald that led, as he sees it, to ariana’s death. we can get hints of how this might work in the specific context of his relationship with voldemort in canon - dumbledore views love as sacrificial and noble, rather than pleasurable; he has a low tolerance for hedonism or indulgence; he is, in his manner of relating to others, distant and ascetic. while voldemort is similarly self-controlled, his obvious need for comfort, recognition, and affection is something i think dumbledore would find it very difficult to provide openly, and i think - in a situation where the whole thing didn’t crash and burn - they would live entirely separate lives, punctuated periodically by some very creative sex.

44. do they cuddle often? why or why not?

no, of course they don’t. that would be emotionally healthy and healing for two such touch-starved people. they have to refuse on principle.

49. do they keep secrets from each other?

they don’t do anything but, at first. in particular, dumbledore goes out of his way to keep his relationship with grindelwald secret, until rita skeeter decides to break the story one afternoon because she’s just feeling silly that way. the ensuing argument - "how dare you judge me for murdering my father when you killed your own sister!"/ "it was an accident!"/"so was the basilisk!" and so on - is legendary and destroys half of godric’s hollow.

but it brings about a reckoning too. it’s clear in canon that one of the things voldemort particularly dislikes about dumbledore is his belief that dumbledore is a hypocrite - "you do not seek to kill me, dumbledore? above such brutality, are you?" from the ministry duel always stands out to me, given that voldemort knows dumbledore has sent half the order to risk death without a second thought, as does the fact that the death eaters tell harry that voldemort was genuinely shocked to discover dumbledore hadn’t told him about the prophecy. the cause of dumbledore’s complicated relationship with honesty - profound childhood/teenage trauma - is something voldemort can understand, and it gives them something to relate to each other with which helps there be a little, teeny-tiny bit less lying in the relationship from that point.

#asks answered #ship ask game #asenora's opinions on ships #starprince #snapemort #bellamort #tomarry #harrymort #riddledore #i have a lot of feelings

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shutterlens · 1 year

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[cw/tw: rant, ableism, ableist parents, trauma] Can anyone else relate to getting a headache and irritation from hot-weather sunlight?

Does anyone else hate it when it gets so hot (about 70° farenheit / 21° celsius or more) and sunny that the sunlight gives you a headache and irritation to the point where you can't do almost anything at all until you cool down? I know that happens to me, and I really hope that I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

What makes it even worse is when I have to deal with that on top of being in a gigantic crowd and my brain wants to escape so bad because I cannot mentally shut out background noises whatsoever and I feel like I'm the only person on the planet who absolutely despises crowds due to being so severely stressed out by them yet I have to bear it all and act appropriate by not immediately running away from the crowded area because I'm with my ableist parents and then I might accidentally bump into some stranger and then I'll have to apologize incessantly even when I know that the stranger won't forgive me and it makes me want to throw up (hyperbole, not literal).

The real kick to the private parts about this is that I also have to deal with this thing where I cannot function at all whatsoever and can't do anything when it's too cold (about 45° farenheit / 7° celsius or less) to the point that when it gets cold, I will absolutely have to be in something that warms me up, whether that's a blanket or jacket or whatnot, and my body absolutely has to warm up to a satisfactory temperature for me to even think about being able to do my work.

I don't think that the allistics will ever understand my struggles, especially considering how I've been demonized my whole life for my gustatory-tactile sensory aversion to a lot of foods that you are expected to eat to be considered socially acceptable in allistic society (e.g.- non-blended fleshy fruits like melons, apples, and the likes, leafy vegetables like romaine, lettuce, and kale, nearly all seafood [the seafood one is probably due to the trauma I have from being forced to eat fish sticks in elementary school and being punished with violence when I literally couldn't get myself to do it even when I wanted to, but that's a whole other can of worms]. There's a lot, but I don't have the energy to go over it all.), and it seems like most of the Autistic Community doesn't ever have to worry about this dysfunctional level of bodily temperature dysregulation, so I feel like I might be laughed off of this platform for speaking out about my struggles.

#cw rant #autism things #tw ableism #tw ableist parents #cw ableism #tw trauma #cw trauma

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bluebxlle-writer · 3 years

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Dazai’s morality and what makes him different from other “morally gray” characters

Everyone knows that Dazai is morally gray - but I only recently realized how he’s different from other “morally gray” characters we often see in fiction.

Most of the time, those characters we conveniently label “morally gray” don’t even deserve the title - they’re just good people who had done a few bad things, or bad people who had done a few good things. But Dazai is truly in the middle - he has done too many bad things to be good, but too many good things to be bad.

He’s abusive, manipulative, ruthless, and made life a living hell for Akutagawa. And yet-

He was Atsushi’s savior - giving him a home when nobody else would accept him. Although this still isn’t enough to forgive him for what he did to Akutagawa, it still proves that he isn’t fully a bad person.

Now, here’s when things start to get more interesting. Most morally gray characters tend to switch back and forth between two sides, right? Lots of writers depict them doing kind things more often while on the “good side”, and doing cruel actions more often while on the “bad side”.

But that's not the case with Dazai.

Dark Era Dazai was terrifying - he shot innocent people, manipulated his subordinates, abused people, and many more. But he was still good, in his own way. He helped Chuuya cut ties with the Sheep, who were obviously using him for his powerful ability, despite having only met him for a day. He genuinely cared for Odasaku, willing to risk his own life to save his friend.

In the ADA, he seemed more compassionate. He gave Atsushi a home and cared for all the members of the ADA. But although it’s subtle, he was still evil. It’s more obvious in the manga - since the anime tends to focus on his humor and suicidal tendencies more. Take a look at this manga panel :

Although it’s implied, it’s clear what he did - he slept with the nurse only to obtain information. He manipulated an innocent woman without hesitation, as if it’s a daily habit. No other ADA member would have the heart to do this, even if it meant saving the world or whatsoever. And let’s not forget this anime moment that made all Aku stans’ blood boil :

Yes, Dazai didn’t directly abuse Aku anymore after being in the ADA. But if he was truly a good person, he wouldn’t have taken advantage of Aku’s emotions, thinking that he had every right to control him. He would have acknowledged Aku and sincerely apologized for abusing him.

No matter what your argument is, you can’t deny that Dazai doesn’t have a trace of his PM tendencies left in him even after transferring into the ADA. That’s the depth about Dazai’s gray morality - no matter which side he’s on, he'd always do an equal amount of good and bad things.

Alright, last point, I promise. I’ve seen lots of people think that Dazai underwent his "redemption arc” in the Dark Era, when Oda died, just because Dark Era and ADA him are opposites. But now that I think of it, his moralities never even changed. He never had a redemption arc. His way of viewing people and the world are still more or less the same. The only reason Dark Era and ADA Dazai are different is because he changed his mannerisms, and obtained more will to live.

“Oh, then why did he join the agency?”

Because he wanted to honor his best friend’s dying wish. He still doesn’t care about “good” or “bad”. Even Oda knew this - that’s why he said this line to Dazai:

I’d like to believe that a part of Dazai's kind actions are genuine, but you cannot tell me that this man, who didn’t give a f*ck about shooting innocent people, is unconditionally kind all the time. We can never guess what’s going on in his head, but I’m sure that he sometimes puts up a facade of being kind, in hopes that one day, it’ll become real.

Now, you’ll notice that most morally gray characters undergo a meaningful redemption arc before joining the good guys - which implies that the writers think only post-redemption them belonged in the good side - that pre-redemption them will never be able to become “good”.

But Dazai?

He joined the agency without undergoing a redemption arc and still passed the entrance exam.

You see what this means?

From the start, Dazai already had the potential of becoming both "good" and "evil". He would have fit in either organizations perfectly. Mori just happened to find him first. It’s just the matter of timing.

Dazai’s morality is truly in the middle.

#bsd analysis #bsd theories #bsd dark era #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs analysis #bungou stray dogs dazai #character analysis #bsd dazai osamu #bungou sd #analysis #dazai character analysis #bsd character analysis

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mygodyouredivine · 3 years

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Something About You

Summary: After you joined the Avengers, you had quickly bonded with all the team members and accepted even Loki. Loki finds himself drawn to you and develops a begrudging fondness for you. He doesn't realize just how deep that affection was rooted until you are injured on a mission.

Characters: Loki Laufeyson/(f)Reader

Warnings: mostly none, minor injury (nothing graphic), minor angst

Word Count: 2965

Notes: Hi! This is my first ever fanfiction and the first time I’m posting on tumblr! I’ve read many (many, many, many) Loki/Reader fics and I wanted to give it a try to see if I could write a short interaction between Loki and the reader. Please forgive me for any spelling/grammar mistakes, and if you enjoyed, any feedback/comments would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Loki despised the Avengers. It was impossible to miss the distrustful looks thrown his way, the way the air shifted uncomfortably when he entered a room, or the thinly veiled jabs at his loyalty despite him living in the compound for well over a year. However, their treatment of him wasn’t the source of his contempt. It was you, and for all the Norns he couldn’t determine why.

You had moved into the compound a few weeks after he had and every single occupant of the tower had been immediately infatuated with your charm. Not that Loki could blame them. You maintained a sense of innocence he could hardly believe, especially due to your history. He didn’t know much about you, but you had been rescued - and then recruited - into the Avengers after all. A tragic backstory was practically a prerequisite. You were also contradictory; for though you exuded innocence, there was also a complexity and rage that simmered underneath your skin. During missions, you were a force not to be underestimated - you stuck down enemies with a certainty and ease that even Loki respected. But in the safety and comfort of the tower, you were, for lack of a more eloquent term, adorable . Walking around in oversized Midgardian articles of clothing and fuzzy socks that often sported cartoonish designs of various animals, you almost appeared soft. Paired with your bright, but not blinding, personality, it only made sense that the others warmed to you so quickly.

Stark was the first to fall under your spell, pampering you with his latest inventions before showing anyone else. Loki supposed it had to do with your genuine enthusiasm when Stark talked, and the team had quickly learned that besides Pepper, you were one of the only people who could persuade Stark to venture from his lab to get the rest that all mortals needed. Rogers had been next. It wasn’t hard to see why the Captain had taken such a quick liking to you. Loki personally believed Rogers only saw the innocence and not the complexity, but that innocence had apparently activated his protective mode, for the Captain was oh-so-careful whenever he reluctantly sent you on any missions. Next, it had been Banner. You and the shy doctor had bonded over your shared love of quiet relaxed conversation and he could often find you in Banner’s labs, assisting him with various mundane tasks. You had even swayed the ever-suspicious Widow. How you did so, Loki had no idea. Even now, months later, the Widow only gazed upon him with open hostility. Finally, his oaf of a brother Thor. Thor had loved you from the first time he met you, but that was no surprise. What was surprising was how you tolerated his boisterous brother’s extroverted and often over-enthusiastic nature with a never ending well of patience. He could see how you flinched when Thor would sometimes talk too loudly, but you were always quick to cover it up with a smile and a hug for the oaf.

Loki noticed that like many Midgardians, you seemed to crave touch. Even among the highly suspicious Avengers, they all seemed to trust you intimately. Stark, who, putting it lightly, was not a hugger, seemed to enjoy the occasional brush of your fingers across his arm. Rogers loved to ruffle your hair whenever he saw you, his large hand continuously running through your soft locks during meetings. Loki wondered briefly what it would be like to feel your silky strands of hair between his fingers, to have you sigh contentedly and close your eyes while he wove intricate braids into your hair. He didn’t know. The only one besides Rogers who touched your hair was the Widow, and you could both often be found brushing and braiding each other’s hair. With Banner, you seemed to be fond of side hugs, quickly smooshing the entire side of your body against his, and with Thor, well, you seemed to be the most comfortable with his brother. Your customary greeting was a hug, and it often annoyed him when his brother would abandon whatever interaction he was having with Loki to embrace you and spin you around while you giggled with a childlike glee. During the weekly movie nights, you could usually be found next to Thor, curled next to him with one of his arms thrown haphazardly behind your shoulders. Loki hated it.

When you had first moved into the compound, you had been cautious around all of your new companions. Slowly, that careful apprehension had faded away, and you had become an integral part of their family, while Loki had remained an outsider. He had tried to hate you, and for a time, he was successful. He looked down upon your openness, your softness, and categorized it as a weakness. Over time, he began to see your courage and ability to trust as a strength and as a sign that you were truly comfortable with all the occupants of the tower, and he admired it, rather against his will.

Though Loki refused to admit it to himself, his fascination with you had nothing to do with how the others saw you; Loki couldn’t care less about the opinions of Midgardians. Except you. There was something about you that drew Loki to you, for when he noticed you were relaxed with all of your roommates, he was startled to see that it included him. Not to say he was your favorite by any chance, or that you paid special attention to him, but he was excruciatingly aware of your perfectly average treatment of him. The way your eyes met his without flinching and how your body refused to tense when he entered a room and the way you didn’t hesitate before contentedly dropping into a seat next to him made him feel accepted. Though his pride prevented him from acknowledging it, acceptance was one thing Loki strived for but could never reach, regardless of his Silvertongue or magic, charm or tricks. But with you, Loki didn’t have to strive for acceptance, he simply was. As uncomfortable as it made him, Loki begrudgingly began to develop a fondness for you.

Not only did your laid-back treatment of Loki prompt him to lower his defenses around you, your complete and inherent trust in him pleased him immensely. He wasn’t talking about you sharing all your deepest and darkest secrets with him, but rather the way you trusted he wouldn’t hurt you or betray the Avengers. Occasionally Loki would unintentionally hear snippets of conversation between ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ making jabs regarding his ability to be trusted and simply at his expense, but you were never a part of the unpleasant discussions. In fact, Loki would often see you frowning disapprovingly at whomever had made the disparaging comment, and while the others’ opinion of Loki did not matter to him whatsoever, seeing your discontent had him appreciating you even more. More than how you acted when Loki wasn’t present, Loki still mostly enjoyed the interactions you did have with him. Loki typically hated movie nights as he was forced to suffer through the combined presence of all the people who disliked him crammed into a single room. He constantly craved to distance himself from everyone, including you, until he had experienced your closeness for himself. Though it was unbearably harder to see you interacting so affectionately with Thor after he knew just how intoxicating you were, the times you would touch him always kept his negative feelings at bay. On the rare occasions when you weren’t glued to Thor’s side during movie nights, you opted to sit next to him. More often than not, you ended up falling asleep, either right next to him, or on him, though that seldom ever happened. The few times it did, Loki found himself paying even less attention to whatever repetitive and predictable Midgardian film was playing and focusing on you. The steady rise and fall of your breaths against his skin, the warmth your body radiated, contrasting deliciously with his own icy interior, and the unpredictable actions you took in your sleep, such as the occasional tightening of your fingers on his chest or the charming way you enticingly nuzzled your cheek into him. Whenever you feel asleep on him, Loki would take extreme care to keep his breaths as even as possible to not disturb you. He once mustered up the courage to drape his arm across your slumbering form, and you had sighed ever so softly and only burrowed deeper into his side. When you woke up, you always looked mortified and apologized profusely, as if Loki could ever be displeased by your actions. Unbeknownst to you, the moments you spend curled up next to him warmed him during the days you were absent or off on missions.

He doubted you knew how much you mattered to him, and he himself didn’t understand just how deep he cared for you, until he almost lost you. You were on a mission with Thor and the Widow and were supposed to be back a week ago. Various complications had arisen, and while worry grew within Loki, he pushed it deep within himself as missions rarely did go completely smoothly. However, his sleep quality, while usually less restful when you were not within the compound, deteriorated at a rapid pace, and he found himself in the kitchen making tea when the Quinjet returned, announcing your return. Loki immediately knew something was off, for he did not hear any quiet chatter or soft laughter that usually accompanied you, Thor, and the Widow. Convincing himself that he had nothing better to do, Loki had gone up to the roof with the intent of offering his brother tea as a guise to check on you. The sight Loki was met with had his fingers tightening on the mug and his teeth being grinded so hard he could almost hear it. For there Thor was, leaving the Quinjet with you held in his arms and the Widow prancing along behind. A concoction of emotions began boiling within Loki: confusion, hurt, anger, disgust. As Loki continued to watch from the shadow of the roof, his revulsion only increased as Thor lowered his face to yours in a disgustingly sweet manner and whispered in your ear. However, as Thor and the Widow drew closer to where Loki was standing, he began to pick up on the oddity of the situation. Why would Thor be carrying you in his arms? The Widow was not prancing, she was running. Why was she running? Why were you still limp? Was that blood? Loki quickly emerged from his corner and walked forward towards you. The sight he was met with had the tea in his hands dropping to the floor and shattering with a crash that Loki couldn’t hear. In fact, he couldn’t hear anything but a distant buzzing surrounding him, for you were there, lying in Thor’s arms with your eyes closed, skin sickly pale but shining with sweat, hair matted, and coated in blood that seemed to ooze from your body. Without a word, Loki had teleported all of you into the doctor’s lab.

As Thor positioned you gently down onto the bed and the Widow ran to summon the healers, Loki could only focus on you. Your breaths, so solid against his side a few days ago, were erratic and thin, your chest barely rising at all. Your fingers twitched, not in the peaceful way they had against his chest, but painfully. Your brows furrowed and you whimpered pathetically. Loki’s heart shattered. Under any other circumstance, he would have immediately demanded what had happened, but he could not tear his eyes from you. Oh, you precious little mortal. Loki had forgotten how frail Midgardians were and how easily you could break, how utterly short your existences were. He reached towards your fragile form, carefully brushing your tangled hair away from your face. He poured his seidr into you, praying to all the Norns - Hel, even to Odin - that you would survive this ordeal, all the while cursing himself for not going with you, for allowing you to become injured to such an extent, and for not practicing healing magic when he had a change. His desperate attempt to heal you and self loathing was cut short by the arrival of doctors, nurses, and the other Avengers, all wildy alert after receiving news of your injury. Loki allowed himself to be jostled away while medical personnel surrounded you as the others began questioning Thor and the Widow on how you had arrived in this condition.

Now, Loki sat by your bedside, where he had resided ever since they had stabilized your condition. He refused to budge, plainly ignoring anyone who tried to take his place and brushing off Thor’s half-hearted attempts to get him to eat. No, Loki spent all his time here, watching you for any sign of recovery and ensuring that your breaths kept coming. Your clothes had been changed. You were no longer wearing your bloodied uniform, but a set of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt taken out of your bedroom. Your body had been cleaned and hair had been brushed. You looked so peaceful, just laying there on the crisp white sheets. Your eyelids fluttering randomly and the occasional wince and groan were the only signs of life you exhibited. Your body convulses, and your face tenses as sweat begins to bead across your forehead. Loki recognized these symptoms all too well. You were having a nightmare.

“Darling? Darling do you think you could wake up? I know you can. Come on, you can do it.”

Loki whispered encouragement into your unconscious body, hoping he could rouse you from whatever torment your subconscious decided to inflict upon you. Surprisingly, you do awake, though it was not with the grace he typically saw from you. Instead, your eyes jolted open with a start and you immediately attempted to sit up, falling back down onto your back as your injury took over you. Your eyes were clouded as a result of the medication the doctors had pumped you with and your lips were chapped. Your hair framed your face haphazardly as a result of your incessant twitching from the nightmare. Your eyebags were prominent and half of your body and face still swollen. Norns, Loki thought he had never seen anything so beautiful.

Seeing him, your half alert face breaks into a genuine smile and Loki hands you a glass of water, prompting you to greedily gulp all the liquid down.

“Loki?” , you croak. “I'm cold.”

Loki’s relief at your awakening is palpable, and he immediately shrugs off his hoodie and bundles you up in the dark green (and insanely soft) fabric. His heart seems infinitely lighter as you look up at him wearing his ridiculously large hoodie and softens when you lay back down and burrow yourself into the fabric. You looked so small there in the hospital bed, your body still recovering and drowning in dark green cotton, and Loki has a sudden desire to brush his lips against the top of your head. Justifying his actions of simply that of a concerned friend, Loki gives into his want. The instant his lips come into contact with your skin, Loki never wants to let you go. The warmness of you seeps into him and fills a void within himself he didn’t even know he had. But Loki lets go, and you sigh happily. Looking down at your now sleeping figure, Loki decides to alert the others. As much as the Avengers dislike him, he does not take joy in witnessing their restlessness as they wallow in guilt. Moving away from you, Loki is stopped by your voice.

“Don’t go.” , your sleepy voice whispers, “Please don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Though he wasn’t sure of the exact details of your past or what experiences prompted you to ask him to stay, but in that moment Loki vowed to completely annihilate not only those who put you in your current state, but also any being who had ever dared to harm you in any way, even if he had to track down the man who had cut in front of you when you were in line getting coffee for the team a few weeks ago. Your eyes look at him with sadness and pleading within that whatever miniscule amount of conviction within Loki dissipates. He quickly returns to your bedside, dragging the chair closer to you. Selfishly, Loki wants to touch you again, so he reaches out a hand to close your eyelids.

“Shh. It’s okay love. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you. I promise. Try to get some rest. I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you. You’re the best you know. You’re my favorite,” you mutter almost incoherently as you doze off again. As he moves his hand away from your face, you grimace and grab his hand before he can pull back entirely. Your fingers intertwine with his as you bring it back to you. Turning onto your side, you pull your connected hands back up to your face and cuddle with it. You. Cuddling. With him. “Thought you said you weren’t going to leave,” you mutter as you frown, “Lokiii” you drawl. You smile then, and truly drift off.

Something inside Loki cracks. He had been suppressing and denying it for weeks, months now even, but he could no longer run from the realization that his heart belonged to you. Looking at your sleeping form, willingly grasping onto him even though you knew his history and all that he had done, Loki finally let himself believe he might not need to run anymore.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #reader insert #soft loki #feelings realization #protective loki #jealous loki #loki x you #loki fic #marvel

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inamindfarfaraway · 2 years

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Do you think Rapunzel will ever apologize for burning Cassandra's hand? Or do you think she doesn't even realize the gravity of what happened?

I think Rapunzel has matured by the end of series enough to accept responsibility for her part in disabling and scarring Cass. True, it was an accident on both parts, but the way she was blaming Cass’s suffering and permanent disability on her was so wrong. She definitely holds responsibility. But here’s why I think she’d apologize after the finale, not before.

While Cass was away being treasonous, Rapunzel didn’t have to face the present consequences of her harmful treatment of her. She could focus on her rose-tinted memories of their friendship and hopes of saving Cass or that idealized perception of her, because avoiding bad feelings, especially feelings as terrible as all the grief and guilt and hurt wrapped up in Cass’s betrayal, through distracting herself with real or imagined positives is a, and specifically Rapunzel’s, natural response. Because it was all she could do in the tower to not feel like shit all the time, with how she was punished for showing any kind of disapproval or negativity. (Thanks again, Gothel. Your actions once again harm both your daughters simultaneously.)

“Cassandra’s Revenge” shakes that mindset up somewhat, but not fully. She and Cass spend little of that episode actually talking substantially about what’s happened between them. The few times they do interact, Cass is too busy showing off how totally evil and powerful and remorseless she is now; and Raps is too busy ineffectually claiming love and forgiveness which doesn’t land because she hasn’t been doing the work of understanding the openly flawed, problematic, messy, mentally ill Moonsandra in front of her and choosing to forgive her, instead of just wanting the Cass she used to have back. They’re talking at each other, culminating in them literally just using their words as weapons via the incantations. Ironically the improv scene in “Once a Handmaiden” is one of if not the most sincere and productive conversation they have in Season Three, and they’re both acting and Cass is in disguise so they can’t even take advantage of it in the moment! This comfortable way of thinking about Cass - her loyal lady-in-waiting, heroic friend and caring big sister (not her own person) who was so happy by her side and just needs to come home - is so persistent we even see it right up to the finale in “I’d Give Anything”. It’s a beautiful song and I love it, but though the sentiment is well-intentioned, notice how in all the memories Cass is in her repressive handmaiden uniform that doesn’t represent her personality whatsoever and indeed has an opposite aesthetic. And the item symbolic of the old Cass and their friendship that she sings it to isn’t one that was important to Cass herself, like her medal (from an episode that explored Raps being a bad friend disrespectful of Cass’s independence, no less!) or one of her beloved weapons, but the deindividualizing veil of a servant of the princess. Although I don’t think it’s conscious, Raps isn’t singing to the real, current Cass here. How can she, when she can’t even accept the fullness of her existence? To be fair, reconciling *fawns over Pascal in a dress* and *fights with her life for Corona and her friends* Cass with *takes over and ravages Corona* and *mind-controls people to kill their children* Cass is a hell of a task. But Raps isn’t even trying to tackle it.

Then? Then? Cass fucking dies. For a good minute or two, she’s gone. Not out of sight, unpleasant emotions out of mind. Not able to pretend that she’s fine being a handmaiden or unneeded bodyguard or villain or traitor. Not allowing Raps to entertain the hope that everything could go cleanly back to when they were all happy. Dead. No pulse; not breathing; limp; cold under Rapunzel’s hands.

This is while Raps isn’t the Sundrop, too. This whole time she’s been the adored crown princess of Corona with incredible magical powers. Why shouldn’t everything be okay if she wills it to be hard enough? But now, Rapunzel is utterly helpless on her own. Her best friend could be gone forever and there are so many things she could never get to say, never said when she had the chance -

like sorry.

Raps bringing Cass back doesn’t negate that this has to be a huge wake-up call. Eugene is the love of her life. She knows him better than anyone, their relationship is her deepest and most intimate. So even though the show doesn’t reference it seriously (a missed opportunity, gotta say) he has to have trauma from his murder and by this point, Raps has to have seen it. He must have talked to her about it. She’s probably comforted him after nightmares and grounded him during flashbacks. She knows that an experience that awful isn’t something you just get up and walk away from, metaphorically at least. Even without that analysis, death is as heavy as it gets. There’s no denying or downplaying how much Cass has suffered and the gravity of all they’ve put each other through after this. There is no pretending that things can ever be the same again after this.

(Side note: losing Cass must be extra painful due to triggering her likely PTSD from losing Eugene. This show is so cruel to its main characters. I love it!)

Now Raps is has a choice: she can accept that she couldn’t and can’t save Cass, that her story ends here in tragedy and wasted potential. She can mourn the Cass she remembers with no complex living version around to contradict that. To hurt her. She can never have to face the consequences of her failures as a princess, friend and sister again, because that face will be buried beneath the earth. She can leave Cass to exist only in relation to and from the perspectives of her and her family and friends in Corona. Just as she already has been doing for the last year. Eugene warns her that the magic will overwhelm her. She has no guarantee it will even respond to her now she isn’t the Sundrop. This is the easy option.

Or she can march right up to the unstable cosmic power, risking her own life, and stand for Cass’s right to shout; to rip her veil; to blame her; to insult her; to have opinions and make decisions she disagrees with; to leave her behind; to do whatever the fuck she wants because what matters is that she deserves to live. She deserves to be. Messiness and all.

That’s what Rapunzel chooses. To give Cass a second chance to do with as she wishes. And this is the mindset that sticks! She steps back and admits she was wrong about what Cass needed and lets her go away to learn self-care and find new meaning in her life! She looks at Cass, with all the pain and strife she’s caused Raps, and says, “I love you” unconditionally. So I think it’s highly plausible that she also apologizes for the crippling and everything else she did to her between reviving Cass and bidding her farewell.

Um. This really ran away from your question, haha. But yes, my personal belief is that Raps apologizes, because I take the glass half-full viewpoint regarding to this series, I like Raps and Cass and want them to be doing well as individuals and friends, and I consider the final Healing Incantation an important moment for Rapunzel’s character of redemption from her selfishness.

#me: oh nice an ask about one specific thing #me: time for a great big dramatic analysis of raps’s perspectives on cass throughout season three #me: i definitely don’t think about this show enough already!#tangled the series #tts #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #rta #princess rapunzel #tts cassandra #rapunzel and cassandra #raps and cass #tts analysis #rta analysis #tts meta #rta meta

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sketching-shark · 2 years

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okay, I'm sorry for this rant but don't you think macaque redemption arc with kind of rushed plus it doesn't it make any sense at all, he literally tried to kill the whole team, especially mk and now he's suddenly a good guy?! this is just catra all over again... nothing will ever beat Zuko lol and now people are hating on me for my opinion XD i mean he's betray the team again just watch...

Ah no need whatsoever to apologize about the rant anon! As one of the extremely tiny "your 'redemption arc' displeases me' voices in fandom I can totally see where you're coming from asdfaewds.

So I have to admit that I've never watched She-Ra or Avatar all the way, so I'm not precisely sure how these redemption arcs or "redemption arcs" went down so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong...but from what I did hear & read in reviews in Catra's case her story was something of a shitshow where she like tried to destroy all of reality & killed a bunch of people & treated Adora her supposed love interest like trash up until & even after they got together but she's apparently completely good and forgivable now because the plot said so, right?...so par for the course when it comes to "redemption arcs" these days lmao. And as for Zuko, the whole thing was that the series actually took a lot of time to showcase him slowly working hard towards being a better person over like an entire season & more, yes? Like he didn't just suddenly flip a corner, and the distrust team avatar held for him after the way he hurt them was actually framed as understandable? And he wasn't just changing his behavior because he wanted something from them, but because he came to a very difficult decision that was based on his own guiding principles of what he thought the best thing to do was? But yea it is kind of funny how much people hold up Zuko's story as an ideal redemption arc & yet no one seems to want to emulate it lmaoooo.

But to repeat what I've said about Mr. Six-Ears, I do feel like Qi Xiaotian, who was one of his primary victims throughout the course of the show, going out of his way to extend a hand in friendship was pretty jarring. Because yeah while what seems to hopefully be the base BEGINNING of a redemption arc is being set up in such a way where one villain doesn't look that bad compared to another that they help defeat, Macaque is still the simian who beat the tar out of/tried to kill Qi Xiaotian at least thrice--and laughed at his pain for two of those occasions--to say nothing of the way that he used and threatened Zhu Dachu, Tang Shifu, and Long Xiaojiao first with the shadow lantern and then when he forced them to set the flame of Samadhi off. Hopefully they'll address some of that in season 4 if they want Macaque to be a more major character, & not just brush it off. I do think there's a way to talk about the importance of kindness and second chances while also holding people responsible for their actions, even if that is a somewhat difficult needle to thread. As it is, given the "redemption arcs" that you see being created these days (which usually means that some character is an entire asshole who gets worse and worse up until the 25th hour when they magically change & everyone is expected to forgive & accept them immediately not matter what), Macaque's story line wasn't as half as bad as it could have been. He is still very much a smarmy jerk, & still enraged at Sun Wukong, & still just off doing his own thing rather than being immediately brought into team monkie. He does seem to have changed at least a little in terms of maybe being more willing to work with others to accomplish a goal and maybe being a little more open to interacting with others outside of a manipulative and/or "your-enemy-is-my-enemy" kind of deal, which may be something that he'll pursue, or he could just go back to his old ways. For me the best redemption stories are those that focus on making the CHOICE consistently every day to be a better person, so I guess we'll see what they do with the shadow monkey. So tl;dr, what they chose to do with Macaque in s3 wasn't half as bad as it could have been, but your frustration in how they handled what is hopefully only the beginning of a redemption arc, especially given that the short time of each episode is another real hindrance to properly setting up a satisfying redemption arc, is very understandable.

I personally feel like Monkie Kid could potentially do something really interesting with Macaque if his story line starts following something of a "redemption without forgiveness" plot, in which at least a few characters that the shadow monkey hurt never fully forgive him and/or he & Sun Wukong never fully forgive each other for whatever went down between them, but that he still finds a way to be happy and satisfied with his life by forging genuine relationships with others while still atoning for past violence. I say this partially because I'm starting to get rawther tired of fandom takes that are some version of "Wow! Sun Wukong is literally the worst person in the entire world & every bad thing Macaque has ever experienced or ever done is all the Monkey King's fault! Anyway, I can't wait until they become besties again!" Like what. But mainly because the lego show Six Eared Macaque seems to have become so obsessively enraged at Sun Wukong that he has basically nothing going on in his life that isn't tied to the Monkey King in some for or another. In a very real way, these super monkeys seem like they're still playing out their relationship in Xiyouji, with Macaque trying to snatch away everything that Sun Wukong values for himself, and Sun Wukong responding with contempt and violence. But now with the added bonus of Macaque swinging between telling everyone he forces to listen that Sun Wukong is a terrible person (& that he by association is so much better) while also seeming to find it impossible to even imagine living a life that isn't defined by his past friendship with the Monkey King. And that's...super duper bad & painful for all parties involved!!~ So while I get that reconciliation plots are popular no matter what went down, I feel like it would be much more powerful and much more satisfying for Macaque to end his story by metaphorically stepping out of the Monkey King's shadow & making a life for himself that isn't based on hate and sorrow regarding Sun Wukong.

#anon answered #monkie kid #monkie kid mk #monkie kid qi xiaotian #monkie kid sun wukong #monkie kid six eared macaque #sorry for the rant myself anon #but for the love of god can we get something that does something more interesting than bog-standard immediate redemption plots (X_X)

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minteyeddevil · 3 years

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Hey! I hope this this the place to ask for requests (Obey me btw)! 😅

I was hoping to ask for a Tall! (Around 6 ft) Chubby! MC that is insecure about their body image as well as suffers from the skin condition KP (Keratosis pilaris) which increases their insecurity about themselves and they don’t like showing their arms often and prefer to wear hoodies because of it?

I hope it’s not too specific! Have a good day/night! 💕

(Before I realized it, I made it in a reader format, so I hope that's okay! If not please let me know and I can rewrite it for you!)

Lucifer:

Not to be rude, but he doesn't see nor understand why you are insecure about your body. He has lived for thousands of years, taken many forms himself and has seen many forms, and you are a perfectly fine human. What's wrong with that? He doesn't dismiss your worries though, and helps you address them piece by piece. Why don't you like this part of yourself? How can we can improve and help you feel better? Extremely level headed and confident for you, determined to help you see yourself in a better light.

Mammon:

His human is insecure and just wants to hide all the time? Not on his watch. Compliments you all the time, every chance he gets. He is determined to make you confident and feel good about your body. Will literally fight anyone who makes even the smallest comment about you. Keratosis pilaris, what is that, some kind of new disease!? (Forgive him, he is not savvy on things like this, he doesn't really do much on skin care.) Will drag you to Asmo because he is sure his younger brother has something that can definitely help you.

Leviathan:

He understand being insecure in your own skin far too well. Want to hide in a giant hoodie? Sure, he's got a bunch of anime themed ones. Will try to make you feel better about yourself because you deserve it for being such a kind person. He's just yucky so he doesn't deserve. The two of you constantly 'fight' over trying to make the other feel better about themselves. Looks up ways to help treat your KP and orders the things you will need off of Akuzon for you.

Satan:

Similar approach as Lucifer, except he will bluntly say there is nothing wrong with you at all and that you should never hide yourself or put yourself down. Being chubby isn't a sign of unhealthiness, even with your height, so he doesn't see the problem. Though he will apologize if his bluntness hurts your feelings. He will do whatever he can to make it up to you, and help you to deal with the insecurities. The KP he does his research on, and will take you to have your skin looked at and be treated if that is what you would like to do.

Asmodeus:

Oh, love, he will help you over come all of your insecurities with understanding and acceptance. He will help you find clothing to fit your form and height, but if you still want to hide, he will help you feel stylish while you do so (though he would much prefer you to be proud of your body instead of hiding it, but he won't force you by any means.) Knows every good skin treatment to help with your KP, and will help you take care of it every day til either lessens or goes away completely.

Beelzebub:

If you talk about your insecurities and your body shape to him, he will suggest working out to help with the chubbiness. Not that he sees anything wrong with it at all; but if it bothers you, maybe it can help you feel better? He will definitely be your trainer and partner if you like! Though he will also just accept being your cuddle buddy if that will make you feel better. Also doesn't want you to feel bad about your KP or want to hide it. He has scars he has earned that he doesn't like but he doesn't hide them. Be proud of the skin you are in!

Belphegor:

But your chubbiness makes you comfy to cuddle with, there is nothing to feel ashamed of insecure about? He understands wearing big hoodies to be comfortable but he doesn't like that your excuse is to hide in them because you hate how you look. Will (lovingly) tease you about being some kind of gremlin for not loving yourself. Stop it, he thinks you look completely fine, don't be so hard on yourself. Skin bumps and redness that make you want to hide your arms? Fight him, he doesn't see anything wrong with your skin, don't he ashamed of it.

Diavolo:

When you express your insecurities to him, he just gives you the saddest eyes and a big hug. Please, how can he help? Just tell him what you need and it is yours. Will compliment you constantly and even though you are close to his height, give you headpats and reassuring words. Encourages you to try and not hide in hoodies, even if your KP makes you worried; you are an amazing human and he wants you to be proud of yourself. If there is a way he can help you deal with the skin condition, he will get it done for you.

Barbatos:

If your insecurities are really bugging you, and you want someone to be 100% truthful with you on your looks, Barbatos is the one to go to. He never sugar coats things, and will let you know what he honestly thinks. And he thinks you are perfectly fine the way you are. Body image is not as big a deal in the Devildom compared to the Human Realm, though of course there a very vain demons who make it a big deal. But you don't need every to talk with them. As for the KP, he can certainly help you with salves to treat your skin and help with the bumps and redness, but he doesn't think you should be ashamed of having it or hide it fo that matter.

Simeon:

It makes his heart sad seeing you constantly want to hide because of insecurities. He'll reach out to you and give you words of reassurance and try his best to poetically compliment you, anything he can to make you smile and feel better. He isn't very good when it comes to skin care, considering it has never been something he has had to deal with (ugh, bless his angel side for that) but he will definitely reach out to Asmo or Solomon on advice on how he can help you deal with your KP.

Solomon:

Will straight up tell you that you have nothing to be insecure about whatsoever. He can be quite the blunt man, so don't take it too personally or feel like he is making fun you; he really means it. Will try to convince you stop hiding in your sweaters and wear something cooler so it doesn't agitate your skin (He knows a bit about skin care thanks to Asmo, lol). He has a tendency to solve everything by making a potion or casting a spell, so don't be surprised if he offers one to help you deal with your KP.

#obey me #shall we date obey me #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #diavolo #barbatos #simeon #solomon #headcanons #request #keratosis pilaris

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Reiji Maniac [Prologue]

ー The scene starts on the balcony of Banmaden

Shin: ーー Nii-san.

Carla: How is Ayato doing?

Shin: Still in a deep slumber per usual. Whether you stomp or kick him, he gives no reaction whatsoever. Almost like a corpse.

Can’t we just kill him already?

Carla: Stop. We need him to lure out that woman. If you dare harm him, you will be punished. (1)

Shin: ...Ugh.

Why are we prolonging the process by relying on a hostage?

Whatever. I’m going straight to those Vampires’ castle and demand they hand over the woman!

Carla: No need to rush.

Shin: But...!

Carla: Shin, this is like a game of chess.

Shin: Eh...?

Carla: One must not focus solely on taking down the pieces right in front of them.

If you act hastily, unnecessary sacrifices will be made.

Shin: ...I get what you’re trying to say, but why are you being so careful?

Carla: ...Sakamaki Reiji.

Shin: Eh...?

Carla: The Vampire who was by her side ーー It appeared to me that he was rather sharp of an individual.

He will most likely come to us himself. Then the game will begin.

ー The scene shifts to the bedroom of Richter’s manor

Reiji: ...

*Thud*

Reiji: ...Phew.

( All necessary preparations have been made. Which leaves ーー )

Yui: ...

Reiji: Fufu, she is sound asleep.

( I should go while I have the chance. It pains me to leave without a single word, but I simply cannot keep on bringing her in more danger. )

( Furthermore, if my prediction is on point, this is the best move. )

Yui: ...

ー He leans in

Reiji: I’ll get going. ...Nn.

*Smooch*

ー Reiji leaves the room

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ーー Nn...

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Huh...? Reiji-san...?

( Reiji-san’s gone. Why...? )

*Rustle*

Yui: ...? This isーー

*Flip*

Yui: ...!

( This is a letter from Reiji-san! )

ー A flashback ensues

Reiji: ーー Please forgive me for leaving you behind.

I will now head towards the Founders’ quarters to retrieve Ayato. I am fairly certain I have pinpointed their whereabouts.

Please try and behave until I return.

Furthermore, be careful of Richter. Do not trust him under any circumstances.

Until we meet again. I love you, Yui.

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ...Reiji-san...

( I’m sure he went by himself because he doesn’t want to bring me into danger. )

( He said his senses are currently numbed by the Lunar Eclipse so I wonder if he’ll be okay? )

( Knowing Reiji-san, I doubt he has asked any of his brothers for help. )

( However, I might just have to rely on them. )

( I wonder if there isn’t some way for me to contact the Sakamaki castle? )

( ...However, if I act of my own accord, I might end up troubling Reiji-san again... )

*Knock knock*

Yui: ...!

???: I’m coming in.

Yui: Richter-san...

Richter: I made some tea. Would you like to enjoy a cup together?

Yui: Eh...?

( What should I do...? )

( He’s being so kind to offer, but I should probably... )

Yui: Sorry. I’ll pass for now.

Richter: ...I see.

ー Richter leaves again

Yui: ( ...Did I do the wrong thing? )

ー The scene shifts to the outside of Banmaden

Carla: ーー So you have come?

Reiji: Good evening, First Blood gentlemen.

I am flattered by the warm welcome. (2)

( As expected, they predicted that I would come by myself. )

( This is where the real game begins... )

ー The scene shifts to the reception hall

Carla: ーー Let me hear what you have to say.

Reiji: Well then, let me not waste any time...I have come to retrieve my younger brother. Would you be so kind to return him to me?

Shin: We won’t give him back for free. I’m sure someone as clever as yourself has figured out as much?

Reiji: I cannot hand over Yui. However, I will gladly accept any other request.

Carla: Hmph. ...So that is your approach.

Shin: Are you messing with us!? What else would we even want!?

Carla: Very well.

Shin: Nii-san...!?

Carla: It might be difficult to overwhelm him in one move. In which case, he shall get rid of the other pieces in the way first, before snatching the Queen.

Reiji: Oh dear. Do you enjoy chess? I have a feeling the two of us would get along splendidly

Carla: I have no intention of getting along with you. (3)

Reiji: Now that is truly unfortunate. Personally, I would have loved to sit down with you for a nice chat.

For example...Regarding your ‘plans’, perhaps?

Shin: You little...!

Carla: Shin.

Shin: ...Ugh.

Carla: Reiji, was it?

Your objective is to retrieve your younger brother. Therefore, I would assume that talking about anything else would be a simple waste of time.

Reiji: Good point. My sincere apologies.

( I suppose he will not take my bait that easily... )

( There must be some sort of reason as to why they are after Yui. Especially since her blood is known to be special. )

( I do not know whether they have a concrete plan in mind but if only I could get a better grasp on their goal and ulterior motive... )

Carla: You said you would agree with any other request, no?

Reiji: I am a man of my word after all.

Carla: In that case, become my subordinate.

Shin: Wha...What are you saying, Nii-san!?

Reiji: ( I see. So that is the move he has chosen to make. Carla...I cannot underestimate this man. )

Very well. However, I will not let you have Yui regardless.

Carla: I do not mind.

Shin: You’re trusting this guy!? He might simply pretend to vow loyalty to then try and stab a knife in your back!?

Or rather, that’s obviously his intention!

Reiji: I suppose I cannot blame you for not trusting me. In that caseーー

Shin: ...!

Carla: You bowed down, huh...? However, that is not sufficient.

Grab my hand and press it against your forehead.

Reiji: Understood, my Lord.

Shin: ...Tsk.

Reiji: Please call me at once if you need something. I will be on call until then.

Carla: Very well.

Shin. Bring out Ayato.

Shin: ...Fine.

ー Shin walks away

Reiji: ( ...This concludes game one. Under no circumstances will I let you grab the Queen, First Blood. )

( Furthermore, I will be the last one standing. )

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: ーー Well then, I shall take my leave now.

My sincere gratitude for returning Ayato.

ー Reiji leaves

Shin: ...Nii-san, why did you do that!? Why would you make him your underling?

Carla: I simply moved one pawn to obtain the Queen.

Shin: I don’t understand. Why would someone as powerful as yourself bother going through the extra trouble?

Carla: Raw power will only get you so far. While it may be necessary to take the offensive at times, you cannot win the game solely with strength.

Perhaps you should deepen your knowledge on chess a little more.

Shin: ...Roger.

ー The scene shifts to the living room of Richter’s manor

Yui: ...?

Richter: ...

Yui: ( I wonder what’s wrong with Richter-san? He seems to be sulking while sitting on the staircase. )

Richter: ...Oh, it’s you. Is something wrong?

Yui: I figured I would grab myself a glass of water...

Richter: I see...

Yui: ( I wonder why he seems down? Is he feeling under the weather, perhaps? )

( I know I have to take Reiji-san’s words to heart, but a little chat wouldn’t hurt, I suppose... )

Uhm, Richter-san? Is something the matter?

Richter: No...I just ended up remembering Cordelia.

She is no longer with us.

I will never be able to see her again, no matter how badly I want to...

Yui: Richter-san...

( Reiji-san called him a fool, but when I see him like this... )

ー Reiji enters the room

Reiji: Oh my, both of you are together it seems.

Yui: Reiji-san...!

Richter: Why are you carrying Ayato in your arms?

Reiji: I will fill you in on the details later. I would like to bring him to a room now.

Let us go, Yui.

Yui: Y-Yes...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the bedroom

Reiji: ...Phew. I suppose this means we will have one less thing to worry about.

Yui: ...I was worried since you suddenly disappeared, you know?

Reiji: I left you a note, did I not?

Yui: You did but...You were going up against Founders, right?

Besides, the Eclipse is still ongoing, so I was worried whether you’d be okay all by yourself...

Reiji: I see. Thank you very much. However, as you can see, I am unscathed.

Furthermore, I was able to safely retrieve Ayato.

Yui: That’s true, but still...

( I’m genuinely relieved both of them made it back safely, yet... )

( I still wish he would stop acting by himself... )

However, how did you come to an agreement with Carla-san and his brother?

Reiji: Do you wish to know? In that case, please let me suck your blood. To the point where you will feel lightheaded and collapse.

Yui: Eeh!?

Reiji: Fufu, that was a joke.

Yui: ( I feel as if he just skillfully dodged my question... )

( Did he do something which has to remain a secret...? )

Reiji: Well then, what to do next...?

Yui: Aren’t we going to the pharmaceutical facility?

Reiji: No, we will stay here for a while and evaluate the situation.

I do not feel satisfied simply grabbing a few pieces. Now that we have come this far, we might as well aim for victory.

Yui: ( ...Knowing Reiji-san, I’m sure he’s got plenty of ideas running through his head again but... )

( I honestly have no idea what he’s thinking... )

( I wish he wouldn’t do anything dangerous... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 断罪する or ‘danzai suru’ can imply both ‘to convict (for crime)’ in general or refer to beheading. I don’t know if Carla would go as far as to behead his own brother, hence why I went with the more neutral ‘punish’.

(2) Literally he says he feels flattered since they went out of their way to come and greet him outside.

(3) In Japanese, the expression 話が合いそう or ‘hanashi ga aisou’ is used, which more specifically focuses on getting along in terms of having a conversation with each other, since you would both be interested in the same topic. However, in English I decided to translate it as ‘to get along’, so I had to adapt Carla’s phrase a little. A more literal translation would be ‘I have nothing to tell you’ or ‘I have nothing I want to talk about with you’.

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Dark Epilogue ] [ Maniac 01 ] ->

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfreijimaniacprolog

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positivelyadhd · 3 years

Note

Hi there, hope you're doing well. I'd like to ask you for some advice, a third-party perspective, on a situation that's been going on for a while. Completely fine if you'd rather not, of course, as it's a rather sensitive subject.

A while ago, I accidentally crossed a line, and when the person said I did, I apologized. They asked me to cut contact with them, which I did. Wished them the best, and that was that. A week later I was banned and blocked from the group I had met them in.

(I know an apology won't fix things immediately, but I thought it would have been a start)

Recently, by chance, did I find out what they think of me, and what they most likely said about me to the moderators. They had taken this one moment and turned it into the core of who I was, but a thousand times worse. From a genuine accident, to making me a absolutely disgusting, horrible, evil person.

I have been somewhat able to forgive myself for what I did, because I just made a mistake, and did not mean any harm whatsoever. But I severely miss all the people in the group, and I (probably mistakenly) keep holding out some hope that I can talk to the moderators and explain what happened.

I try to be a good person, helping, supporting and being as positive as I can be to others (though I struggle with believing that about myself sometimes). But this entire scenario breaks me every time I think about it. I want to fix it, but I don't know if I can, or should.

My parents are telling me to try to move on, but I don't feel like I can. Do you any advice you could give? Thanks in advance for any help.

Yours, Anon.

Hello anon! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply I hope you are doing somewhat better.

That sounds like a tough situation, and i'm sorry to hear that you're no longer in contact with those people as they obviously meant a lot to you.

It's tough when we make mistakes, especially when those mistakes hurt people we care about and it can be tough trying to reconcile that within ourselves. But, it sounds like you did the right thing. You apologised and respected that persons boundaries and cut contact when they asked you to and honestly, I don't think there's much more you can do in that situation. You can't change the past and you also can't control how that person or the other people involved feel about you. Those people have a right to react to it in however they feel appropriate and you can't change their reaction the most you can do is look after yourself.

I don't think you're a bad person. One mistake doesn't define you and I think the way you react to a mistake like that can say a lot about a person. The fact that you respect those peoples boundaries despite the fact that you're hurt and you genuinely didn't intend to hurt anyone and you regret it I think is enough to show you're not a bad person. The people to worry about are the people that hurt those they care about and don't care about it, continuing to break those boundaries and hurt people more with no remorse. You haven't done that.

I think, as with a lot of things, when relationships get damaged like that the most we can do is let go and see what happens in time. That doesn't mean you can't feel hurt or angry or anything that you feel, you should allow yourself to feel those feelings, you're allowed to feel them. To me, "letting go" isn't so much forgetting and moving on as if it never happened, its accepting what happened and doing what you can in the future to improve. Take time to yourself and reflect and look after yourself. You can't control what those people think, or the past. You can control you own actions and how you move on in the future.

It sucks knowing that you hurt someone you cared about but that's part of being human. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone's hurt people weather they realise or not. I think whats important is how you move on and use this as a learning opportunity in both self compassion and how you treat others in the future.

I hope you're okay my friend, I'm sending you my love <3

as always, i am in no way a professional and this is just my opinion/what i would do in this situation! please take everything i say with a huge pinch of salt and obviously do what feels right to you!

#i recently broke up with someone and i think the hardest part was knowing that doing that really hurt her #and maybe broke our relationship completly #but it needed to happen and its really hard but i think giving people space and leaving them alone when they ask you to is the best you can #do #it hurts to lose people you care about when you didn't want to #but sometimes it happens #and the best you can do is look after yourself and heal from it #opening letters #anon #mia gives advice #long post

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moki-dokie · 3 years

Text

so i’ve never had the greatest relationship with my mom. hell, she was toxic and abusive most of my childhood and an alcoholic to boot. most of my major issues stem from her.

and while i have not, and likely will not ever forgive her, i’m not so hung up on the things that have happened and can’t be changed. i know that she legitimately tried being a good mother most of the time and most of the shit she did to me was part of an abuse cycle she didn’t know she was in. her mother was abusive to her, her grandmother was abusive to her and her mother, ect. (my great grandmother was a fucking witch and had 0 redeeming qualities, so much to the point i refused to see her when she asked for me on her death bed. like damn no wonder the next two generations were fuuuuucked up) thankfully instead of getting locked into that cycle, i became the one who broke it. and for about the past 13 years i’ve been making my mom realize the harm she’s done, and that i will not tolerate it any longer. i’m not afraid to leave her high and dry without a pot to piss in. it doesn’t bother me to go an entire year without talking to her or seeing her. i can shut her out of my life in the blink of an eye. harsh it may be, but it’s literally the only way to get through to her.

and it’s working. i’ve had a better relationship with her over the last three or so years than i have in my entire adult and teen life. we don’t fight as much. she’s actually learned to recognize when her behavior is unacceptable and apologizes for it. after the fact, of course, but before it wasn’t at all. she’s mentally unstable and severely needs therapy but those are two things she’ll never accept for as long as she lives. so i do my best to work with what i have. negativity is the only language she speaks, no matter how hard i’ve tried otherwise. in ways she’s very much like a stubborn dog. but dogs at least respond to positive reeinforcement - even the most abused and aggressive dogs. she doesn’t.

still, i’ve chipped away throughout the years and it’s worked. she still does things that piss me off, she’s still a very ugly person when she’s minorly inconvenienced, but anymore it’s in small amounts and usually easy to get under control. i’m thankful for that. i’m thankful that even after a lifetime of thinking one way, she’s starting to learn another and i can have a so-so relationship with my mom for the next 20ish years.

i’ve been told i should just cut her out permanently and i’ve thought about it many times. but i’m the kind of person who doesn’t give up on someone they love. and despite all of her flaws and what she’s done to me, i do still love her. i recognize that she did all she could for us kids, that she did love us dearly, but was also a shitty person with a shitty upbringing and shitty circumstances with no way to cope with any of it. it doesn’t feel right to give up on someone who is a product of a horrible cycle and horrible life. yes she treated me poorly, but people don’t realize how hard abusive cycles are to break out of. my generation and those following got extremely lucky to be born during a time of infinite information and resources at our fingertips and during a global political shift to be more kind, tolerable, and accepting. i had a powerful weapon at my disposal to break the chain; a wide open world of endless information and people from all cultures to talk to, opinions from all walks of life to consider. to a degree, people are a product of their time. racism, sexism, homophobia, ect, these things can be unlearned. they are not a product of any time. but certain behaviors are so deeply ingrained that it’s nearly impossible to undo them. if it’s the way something has always been done for generations in your family and you have no reference of it being different whatsoever, that becomes a part of who you are at your core. if your mother screams and throws dishes to express her anger because her mother screamed and threw pots and pans because her mother screamed and threw food because her mother screamed and threw something breakable because her mother screamed and threw her needlework, you can easily see how this trend becomes an integral part of your very nature. especially if every family unit in your bubble functions the same.

so i got lucky to be born at the time of the internet entering into our homes. i got to break out of the echochamber and saw how abnormal this was.

and i just don’t feel like it’s fair for her to be punished for 90% of what was out of her control. everyone is capable of change at any time in their life and back in my 20s i was faced with a choice. i could focus on trying to correct her behavior and have a relationship with her, or i could cut her out and have no more family except for my brother - and barely even that since he only visited once a year. so i set my mind to it and worked on her little by little.

if she yelled at me over the phone, i would simply hang up and not speak to her at all for hours or days until she was ready to talk to me calmly.

if she threw a tantrum in a public place, i would leave her there and tell workers to feel free and call the cops on her if they needed to. when she calmed down and realized how irrational she was being, then i would come pick her up.

if she bitched and whined and berated me and my s/o when we came out to help her, we would leave, even if whatever we were doing wasn’t finished.

if i was driving her somewhere and she started to get an attitude with me or making demands, I’d simply pull over and park the car and not go anywhere until she stopped.

if she tried to guilt trip me, i pointed it out immediately and said no with no room for negotiations.

if she tried to manipulate me, i’d call her out on it and end whatever discussion we were having.

if she was at all inebriated, i refused to be around or speak to her.

if she made demands instead of asking, they would be completely ignored.

if after an episode she didn’t apologize to me, then i’d continue to not speak with her for as long as it took.

if she wanted to try and make me feel bad for anything, I would bring up every horrible thing she’d ever done to me.

I learned to fight fire with fire, but also with a lack of oxygen. i am every bit as fierce and petty as she is and i’m willing to drop to lows that she isn’t - all of this i learned from her. but i’m also capable of being a touch uncaring and emotionless. she intended to make me scared and submissive to her, but all she really did was make me more immune to her bullshit and know what to expect and thus not be afraid. when she learned this, change started to happen. when suddenly she couldn’t get her way unless she played by my rules, she started to change. when she realized that she would literally be alone with no friends, no family, and no financial stability while being partially disabled and living alone on 160+ acre farm, it started to click more and more how much she needed me. And if she wanted me in her life, that meant changing her behavior.

so she stopped drinking. little by little until she was and still is completely sober.

she stopped yelling at me. we still bicker, but it’s been a while since she’s actually raised her voice at me.

she stopped making demands and started politely asking favors.

she bitched less about what we did wrong when helping her and started focusing more on what we did at all, and even thanking us for us which she never did before.

she tries seeing more positive things.

she stopped her manipulation attempts, though the guilt tripping is still being worked on.

she hasn’t had a full blown meltdown/tantrum in years.

instead of hours of negative complaining, now we can actually have conversations about all sorts of topics.

my mother now is barely the same woman she was just 10 years ago. yeah, she’s still extremely paranoid and lives in a very delusional state but those are things that unfortunately medications would be needed for. I’ve learned to deal with her mental illness. as much as i wish she would get treatment, i know it won’t happen. she’s still socially inept but that also comes with living completely alone with only wildlife as company for so long. she’s always been pretty off her rocker anyway so its not like thats anything new. the fact is she’s making progress of becoming a better person and making attempts to finally break out of her own cycle. she’s doing a lot more without any coaxing from me. i’m glad for her, proud of her, and happy to still have her in my life. far be it from perfect, but these things never are. and i don’t expect it to be.

we’re in a financially stable place finally where i can get her some help on the farm since we work too much to come out as often as she needs. i told her this today and it was really refreshing to hear her say “thank you for helping me” instead of the opposite, like blaming me or trying to say i’m just too lazy or i don’t care or whatever i do isn’t going to be good enough or whatever awful thing she might have said to me in the past.

definitely wouldn’t recommend something like this for just anyone. i’m all for saying fuck you bye felicia to abusive people - hell thats what i did with my dad.

#happy mothers day??? i guess??#personal

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getting-used-to-different · 3 years

Text

My problem with #SimonsNotWrong

Note: This is being written before the finale of season 2 has been released. Hopefully, the final episode will resolve these issues and I can delete this post in peace. Please read my entire post before responding and stay respectful ;)

With that said...

I have a few issues with #SimonsNotWrong (and I'm mostly responding to this video). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's the rundown: in Season 2, Episode 3 of The Chosen, Simon P confronts Matthew about his life as a tax collector prior to meeting Jesus. Several people thought that Simon P was overly harsh, which prompted the director Dallas Jenkins to respond in the video I linked above and start the campaign #SimonsNotWrong in defense of what Simon said in that scene.

I don't disagree with the scenes in S2E3 on their own, only the way that Dallas insists that Simon was right up until the point that he refused to forgive. Now I know I'm a bit biased; one scroll through my page and you can tell that Matthew's character is a favorite of mine. But I really do understand that Matthew's job is a major problem, I get that he went above and beyond to help a horrible empire, I get that he lived in luxury while his people starved, and I do believe he needs to repent to God and possibly to the people that he hurt as well. In fact, like Dallas, I do think that most of what Simon said is factually correct.

Yet, Simon is wrong to condemn Matthew for a plethora of reasons. There's the fact that Matthew LEFT his life as a tax collector. There's the fact that Simon himself broke Jewish law, betrayed his people, and hurt his family in Season 1, episodes 1-4. There's the fact that Matthew was thirteen when he was recruited by Rome (I don't care if the culture thought he was old enough to choose a trade, he was still an immature child who was taken advantage of by one of the most powerful empires in human history). But the biggest reason is this:

Of course, Simon was only thinking about his own perspective, which is human. I'm glad the scene exists because it represents how humans see each other and why we need Jesus. But Simon was wrong. Jesus is the only one who can handle this correctly, in my opinion, but I don't think it's fair to justify Simon and vilify Matthew instead of holding them both in the wrong. Simon IS wrong, and Matthew is wrong, because everyone is wrong because all have sinned.

For some of the same reasons, I don't really like when Matthew says "I'm a bad person" in S2E6. Well, I'm ok with him saying that, but the way that Dallas talks about it in this "Come and See" show interview makes it seems like it's supposed to be a good thing. There's a difference between saying "I've done bad things", "I've done horrible things", or even "I was a bad person" and "I am a bad person". "I've done terrible things" is an admission of guilt, and it shows that you take responsibility for what you've done. Guilt is natural and you learn to work through it. But "I am bad person" is a statement about your worth as a human being. The point of the line is that Matthew is lifting Mary up by showing her that he's not perfect either, and that's beautiful. But instead, I saw a level of shame that is not healthy. Especially after he's turned to Jesus.

I know that some people are upset that Matthew hasn't apologized, and I agree that he should regret his past actions. But as someone who struggles with depression and self-loathing myself, I see it as a problem that this level of negative self-talk is promoted as a good thing. I can't accept that after you've stopped the problematic behavior, and after you've left everything behind to follow Jesus, you should still think of yourself as a bad person.

Shame is not productive or beneficial. Healthy guilt tells you that you need redemption, and it leads you to God. Shame tells you that you're incapable of redemption, and it drives you away from God. Shame is what Mary M is feeling at that moment. Why did they let Matthew disparage himself when they're trying to say that Mary shouldn't disparage herself? Why is it a good thing for Matthew to think badly of himself for what he did, and yet it's a bad thing for Mary to think badly of herself for what she did? There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). No condemnation for anyone, back then or today. None whatsoever. Shame is not spread in the Kingdom of God.

The thing that irks me is that the show knows this, the writers know that shame is unhealthy because in the show, Jesus is always telling people to "look up" instead of hanging their heads in shame. They did Mary right when she went astray (Jesus told her she didn't have to be perfect and to look up, S2E6) and they did Simon P right (Jesus tells him to look up when he calls himself a sinful man, S1E4) and they did James and John right (Jesus jokes with them after their mistake, S2E1). I just need them to do Matthew right.

But wait a minute...they already had "Matthew done right". The writers already wrote the perfect mindset for Matthew, way back in Season 2 Episode 2:

That is exactly how he should think now that he's turned away from his old life. Even Simon P is speechless for a moment because he knows that Matthew is right. So why would you have him revert? Why should he go backwards from acceptance into shame and guilt? And if you are going to have him do that, why would you promote it as a good thing?

I was originally going to hold this back until episode 8 came out because I want to see how Jesus will handle this. Hopefully, Matthew will get his "look up" moment and everything I said will be null and void. Fingers crossed.

I hope no one thinks that I'm angry at the writers or that I don't like the show, because I absolutely love it. If I didn't like the show, I wouldn't have spent this much time on a blog post. But what I believe about the God's redemption is more important than a TV show, so I just had to say this :)

#kisses not disses #unpopular opinion #feel free to disagree #the chosen discussion

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ka-za-ri · 4 years

Text

Personal Assistant Pt. 2

Part 1: Here Part 3: here Part 4: here Part 5: here Part 6: here Part 7: Here Crossposted to Ao3: here

Hi. Hello. Thank you for reading the first chapter and for all the new follows. I’m still new to this whole fandom so excuse me if I overstep any boundaries. Unbeta’d because we die like heroes here. Please leave a comment or something idk, validate me?

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader Wordcount: 5,900 ish Genre: Smut Tags: Edging, Oral Sex, Orgasm denial, masturbation, sex toys, under-desk blowjob, sexual tension, sex on a desk, overstimulation

Probation Period

Lucifer wasn’t joking when he said you would be occupied with a lot of work. The first two weeks at the office were dedicated to acquainting yourself to the systems you would be using on a daily basis, learning the location of all the supplies as well as memorizing what floors all the departments were. It was a proper nine-to-five with all the bells and whistles of benefits, overtime pay and paid-time-off as long as it was approved. Being so close to the head of the company, you came to realize just how much work actually needed to be done. Lucifer’s schedule was always full and you were constantly trying to squeeze in just one more meeting for him. It almost made the interview you went to feel like a feverish dream.

Every now and then, you would steal a glance over to your boss after he finished speaking with another department head or analyst. The two of you would lock gazes and for a moment there would be a heat that welled up between your legs reminding you that everything he promised was real.

You thought you were prepared for the job with your skill set, figuring fluency with an office suite was the bare minimum. However, you never thought you’d be learning six other proprietary systems while also having to answer a phone that never stopped ringing.

Humans didn’t know many things; but, they could always be easily taught anything in the world with some proper training.

For someone who had lived hundreds of years, ensuring that you were well trained to actually handle the duties of his office before starting proper private lessons was a small price to pay. It barely passed in his mind that you could be needy and wanting more of what he had offered the night you signed your contract with him. He often looked fondly over the document after hours when even you had gone home, smirking in pride when he knew you hadn’t read everything thoroughly. No one ever did.

You were beginning to think that the promise of “after hour activities” had all been made up and fell into a rhythm at work, quickly becoming efficient at weeding out the unnecessary meetings and phone calls by settling the issues at hand with a well worded email.Things were settling and finally you were in a lull where you could comfortably work and not feel like you were drowning in information. Still, even if you were a month and a half into your new position, the last thing he told you the night of the interview rang in your head.

“Wear the same lipstick, will you? I’d love to see what that color looks like smeared all over my cock.”

Ever since that night, you came into work with the same shade of red on your lips, hoping it would be the day he would get to see what the image of your lipstick all over his hard length looked like. It became so ingrained in your routine, you had even bought a few more tubes of the same color, just in case the current one you had ran out.

Yet, nothing. No indications whatsoever from Lucifer that he took notice how obedient you were of his request. No outward signs that he was even remotely as affected as he was on the night of the interview. Soon enough, you had chalked it up to some persuasive tactics he used to get you to work for him.

So, it was much to your surprise when you walked into the office in the beginning of your second month and found a small box sitting at your desk. Once your things were put away, curiosity got the better of you and you opened the non-descript box. The moment your eyes laid on the phallic object inside, you gasped and dropped it back onto your desk.

“Is it not to your liking?” Lucifer’s low, silky voice came from behind you. He had somehow soundlessly made his way to your desk, watching your every move as you unwrapped his gift to you.

“I uh… Uhm…”

“A present… for making it through your first month here.” He explained, coaxing you out of your chair and bending you over your desk. Your body was as pliable and malleable as he remembered it to be.

“I… Thank you… Lucifer…” you breathed, swallowing hard as you eyed the object nestled in the box.

“Let me help you into it.” He offered, taking it into his hand. He moved one of your legs to be propped up on the top of your desk, the AC hitting your heat in a way it hadn’t in what felt like ages. Nearly nothing had been done and a fog of desire had already settled upon your brain.

Now that he had an excellent view of your panties, he rubbed the stout, girthy toy up and down your slit, watching as your body twitched in reaction. Pushing your panties to the side, he pressed the tip of the toy into your pussy only to have a strangled gasp come from you as you weren’t wet enough to accept it yet.

“I should have expected as much…” He murmured to himself. How foolish of him to forget that even if you had been in his care for the last month, your true training was starting today. Of course he couldn’t expect you to be as wet as he wanted as soon as you walked in. “Stay still.” He commanded and the warmth of his body left your side.

Making his way to his desk, he unlocked a drawer and took out a bottle of lube. Generously coating the toy while he walked back to you, you saw the same glittering darkness in his eyes that made your heart race from the interview. Fearful that you had disappointed him, you started babbling apologies and begged for his forgiveness, promising to do better. He hushed you with a firm glare before going back to what he was doing. “The only thing you need to apologize for, is if you’re unable to be wet enough to take this first thing in the morning by next week.” he said coolly.

The slick toy now much easier to slide into you was met with only the resistance of your tight pussy as he pushed it into you. “Starting today, you’ll wear this during your working hours.” He readjusted your panties once the vaginal plug was snuggly in you, the bottom of it just peeking out between your lips before your underwear covered them once again. Satisfied, he helped your leg down from the desk and put the bottle of lube into one of your drawers. “Don’t let it fall out now.” He said with a self satisfied smirk, turning heel and heading back to his desk as if nothing ever happened.

The plug inside of you stretched you out and filled you deliciously so. However it wasn’t nearly large or long enough to properly satisfy you. Sitting down at your chair to start your own duties for the day, it pressed further into you, stimulating you and made it hard to concentrate on your tasks at hand. As hard as focusing was, the fear of disappointing Lucifer looming over you was even more oppressive. Any moment your mind wandered to the stretch your pussy was feeling, you forcibly had to look at something else or distract yourself with phone calls in order to get through the day.

No matter how many distracting tasks you came up with, it did nothing to quell your arousal. The way the toy pressed at your entrance and teased all the spots inside of you that needed attention had your nerves on fire. You weren’t sure how you were going to survive if you needed to wear it on the regular. By the time your shift ended, there was a significant wet spot on your chair and on the back of your skirt. You were eternally lucky that there hadn’t been any physical meetings set up for the day. Though, you weren’t quite sure if it was actually luck or if Lucifer had orchestrated the day to work out like that for you.

Regardless,cleaning up the mess you became in the bathroom was an adventure. The toy easily slid out of you and you groaned from both relief and desire. Having it inside of you all day only made you want something more. More being specifically Lucifer’s cock dragging itself in and out of your walls. As you washed the toy and stowed it away in its designated drawer, your mind meandered, wondering if today would be the day that you would see your lipstick on his dick.

It was very much to your dismay though, when you came out of the bathroom, Lucifer had already left for the day and you were alone with your thoughts and a throbbing, aching pussy.

The moment you got home, you frantically searched under your bed for the box that held your own small collection of toys and grabbed the first one that you knew could satisfy you in the way you had been craving all day. Thrusting it into your sopping core, you moaned wantonly, throwing your head back and flopping onto your bed, not caring to take off any more clothes than absolutely necessary.

The toy worked in and out of you and you bucked against it. Almost forgetting that it could vibrate, you turned it on and let it do its work, making you moan as you shoved its full length into you. If only it was Lucifer and not a piece of silicone. If only he had bent you over the desk after work and filled you. Your fingers rubbed at your clit and you angled the toy to brush against your g-spot, gasping and writing in pleasure as your vision filled with stars. You panted heavily, the pressure of an orgasm building quickly in your abdomen and you couldn’t wait for the release it would give you. It only took a few more hard thrusts of the toy on its highest setting before you came undone, crying out gratefully and spasming around it, your mind reeling in the euphoria of getting off after hours of being teased by a damn toy.

But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t him. And it somehow felt dirty that you had cum without his permission, without his heated gaze on your body. A feeling of shame and guilt washed over your body while you powered the toy off, gasping for air after the whirlwind fucking you had given yourself. You whined, pulling it out of you rolled over, the initial high had been great but it left you feeling dissatisfied for some reason.

It was as if your pleasure belonged to Lucifer. No matter what you did to yourself, it wouldn’t be nearly the same as what he could give you. Your pussy ached for more stimulation just thinking about him, even if you had just cum. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to relieve yourself unless it was at his behest. Sighing heavily, you dragged your limp body to the shower to get rid of the mess between your legs and to prepare for another day of long torment without relief in sight.

It took less than a week to train yourself to be wet enough to slide the vaginal plug into you without the aid of lube. First thing in the morning, Lucifer got a front row show of you parting your legs, taking the toy out of the drawer and putting it in you. You adapted quickly, kicking your skirt up before you sat down so that your bare ass came in contact with the chair and you would have less to clean up. Lucifer was kind enough to have the foresight to supply you with a leather chair to ensure your essence could be easily wiped up at the end of your shif. Ever since the first night, the desire to be fucked only grew in you. You hadn’t touched yourself since then, hoping, praying that he would show you mercy and relieve you in a way only he could.

Ah, but Lucifer was cruel and he took his training very seriously. As soon as he knew you had grown accustomed to the first toy he introduced, he was ready to push your limits again as yet another gift graced your desk a week later. The butt plug, adorned with a glittering red jewel made you swallow hard. You hadn’t ever explored using your other hole, but Lucifer was at least gentle as he trained your asshole open that morning.

Plenty of lube dribbled down your backside as he slowly worked the hard metal plug, pressing it against your tight ass and easing it into you, cooing and praising you the whole time. He pet your hair as you gasped from being stretched to your limit, he stroked your face as the plug finally slid into you and your whole body was alight with a flurry of sensations. “Good girl…” he praised softly, planting a kiss on your cheek before going back to work. As soon as you sat down, you knew you had a long day ahead of you as the duality of having both holes filled cast a fog over your mind.

Part of his responsibility as a boss to you was to make sure you were cared for, looked after and treasured even if his normal disposition was rather chilly. He was a stern businessman after all, but he did dote on you in some ways. The main way being that he made sure to be there every morning to fit the anal plug into you while you slid the other one into your waiting pussy. Every step of your training was meticulously overseen by him and he just loved the way your body accepted everything he tried as long as he was patient enough.

Your workload never seemed to lessen, even with the weight of the plugs inside of you every day. The corporate world didn’t stop for anyone and you had to adapt even further to hide your sexual frustration from the guests that frequented the office during his meetings. Guiding them to the little alcove in the corner of the office lined with couches that served as a miniature ‘waiting room’ was the hardest part. Every step you took sent jolts of pleasure down your legs and you struggled to keep your pace even while maintaining perfect posture. Your muscles clenched and strained to ensure nothing fell out of you. Even if the journey was a short one, it felt like it lasted for miles with how much effort it took to look professional. You always ended your introductions with a smile, letting your esteemed guests know that Lucifer would be ready to see them shortly before having to make the long, arduous journey back to your desk.

Lucifer took pride in the company he built and the people he trained. You, most of all, were so susceptible to all his lessons and adapted quickly. It only felt natural for him to spend on gifts for you, giving you a plethora of options to choose from on how to stuff your pussy for your day. Every few days, it seemed like there was a new box on your desk. Whether it was deliciously textured balls that rubbed against each other and stretched you in a way that made you see stars, or smooth orbs with weights in them, making you clench anytime they shifted inside of you, they all had one thing in common: they all left you wanting more. None of them ever seemed to stretch you far enough or deep enough to satisfy that itch and craving you had for Lucifer’s cock and you were driven nearly mad at that fact.

He could just how frustrated you were as you cleaned up after yourself and bent over your desk, waiting for him remove the anal plug from your ass. Your essence flowed freely down your thigh at the end of the day and he was satisfied; especially when you let out that precious breathy moan of yours whenever the plug left you empty. You would always look back at him, pleading with your eyes for him to take it further and fill you, but it was business as usual for him. He’d tell you to go home and you would be left on the edge, unable to cum unless he gave you explicit permission to do so.

The end of your second month working at Akuzon as Lucifer’s personal assistant drew to a close and by the third month you were there, no matter what task you were doing, your mind reeled with fantasized images of how you wanted Lucifer to take you and make you scream. It invaded every fiber of your being. It was so endlessly frustrating to see your boss completely straight laced and nonplussed at your predicament. He could tell you were close to your breaking point, almost a month of teasing and yet no release in sight; it would soon come time for him to give you what you truly craved.

“Ah… This is a problem, can you come here and help?” He called you over to his desk and pointed at the space underneath. “I dropped the whole box of paperclips and I really don’t have time to pick them up before my next meeting. Be a dear, and help?”

“Yes, of course, Lucifer.” you obliged, thinking nothing of it and scrambled on your hands and knees to pick up what seemed to be hundreds of paperclips on the ground. Before you were even a quarter of the way through, you heard the elevator in the distance ding, signalling the arrival of your next guest. Scrambling to get up and greet them, you only found yourself blocked off by Lucifer sitting down, scooting his chair right up to you and blocking your escape.

“Don’t make a sound now.” He said quietly, looking down at you with an expectant expression on his face. “This guest is of the highest esteem and I would like to make sure this acquisition goes smoothly.”

“Y-yes, Lucifer.” You mumbled, shifting enough so that you were settled somewhat comfortably between his legs and staring right at his thighs.

“My apologies for not having my assistant greet you.” Lucifer said as his guest came in. “She’s on an errand and couldn’t make it back in time. Please, take a seat.” He stood up, gesturing to the chair on the other side of the desk and got right to work, discussing the terms of his next acquisition and his expectations once the companies merged. The talk was mundane and there was a fair amount of back and forth as schematics were discussed.

He kept one hand on his thigh, gently stroking his crotch, and you watched wide eyed, barely daring to breathe as he got hard right in front of his client. His voice betrayed nothing, staying smooth and low while he discussed business matters. You could barely think straight as his finger beckoned you closer to his clothed crotch. His musky scent mixing with the smell of his cologne and newly dry cleaned clothes made you dizzy. As his cock started to strain and press against his pants, you carefully leaned forward, nuzzling his crotch and basking in his closeness.

He seemed to enjoy this little development. His hand wandered over to your hair, pulling you closer and encouraging you. The thrill of possibly being caught sparked an arousal in you that you hadn’t expected. The conversation above you melted away as you focused on the hardening length pressed up against your cheek and breathing in his scent, getting intoxicated by just his proximity. His hand gently patted your hair as you nuzzled him to full mast under his clothes. You felt your arousal rise along with his cock, your slick essence soaking through your panties. Yet you didn’t dare touch yourself or make a noise.

“Ah, how foolish of me. I forgot the final paperwork in my car. Please, excuse me for a moment while I retrieve it.” The client said as they drew close to closing the deal. “I’ll be right back.”

“Of course, please take your time.” Lucifer said. You couldn’t see it, but you could almost feel the self satisfied smirk that was undoubtedly on his face once the guest left to retrieve the documents.

As soon as the elevator dinged and they were alone, his grip in your hair tightened. He slid back just enough to see your face peeking out from between his thighs. “Don’t ruin this for me.” he warned, unzipping his pants and pulling out his cock. You started salivating as you saw his length unfurl before you, hard and throbbing, a drop of precum dribbling from the tip and your tongue darted out to catch it and taste him. He smirked, loving how obedient you were without him asking you to be. “Don’t mess up my suit. Understand?”

“Yes… Sir.”

The dark glitter of lust shone in his eyes for a brief moment as you addressed him properly. He settled himself back into place and you were once again alone under the desk; but this time with a very important task at hand. It was a long ride up the elevator from the ground floor to the top, which gave you ample time to suck him off as loudly and as lewdly as you wanted. His cock filled your mouth hot and heavy, the salt from his precum and his scent cast a haze over you as you put as much of him in your mouth as you could. Your hand fisting the rest of what you couldn’t handle all at once.

His hand in your hair set the pace, making your head bob as you slurped and sucked. Only once did you hear a satisfied groan come from him. But, that was enough to send your hormones into overdrive and you redoubled your efforts into pleasuring him. Your knees ached and your whole body felt too hot to be cramped under his desk like this; but the taste and feel of his cock in your mouth was worth it. It was truly too soon when you heard the tell tale ding of the elevator in the distance, signalling the return of your guest that you had to abruptly stop being loud.

“I didn’t take too long, now did I?”

“No, not at all. I was just reviewing everything to make sure everything is crossed and dotted properly.” Lucifer replied calmly, but you could hear a slight strain in his tone. His hand pushed your mouth further down his length until he hit the back of your throat. You fought back a startled squeal and resisted the urge to gag, relaxing your body and your reflexes to accept him as he saw fit. Satisfied, he removed his hand to go over a few more things on the paperwork and you took the prerogative to keep taking him until every inch of him was down your throat. You had to take slow breaths to keep yourself from passing out, his girthy cock blocking much of your airway.

You could feel his thighs tense as he was balls deep down your throat. As soon as he was able to, his hand returned to your hair and set a languid pace, using your mouth and throat as a fuck toy while he hashed out important business details. Drool pooled at the base of his cock as you let him use you. The worry of ruining his suit caused your whole body to tense in anxiety and you prayed that everything would drip onto the chair below him and not on the expensive tweed of his suit.

“Yes, I think all of that checks out. Just our signatures left.” Lucifer’s voice floated into your consciousness, the first clear sign that it was all going to be over soon. He didn’t know just how wet you were from sucking him off under his desk. Just rubbing your thighs together, you knew there was a slick mess for you to deal with later on your own.

Just a little bit more… You told yourself, holding your desire and your breath as you heard the tell tale scratching above you of papers being signed. From there, it was only a few more congratulatory remarks and the guest was on his way out. As soon as he leaves I’m going to suck his soul out from his dick. You determined, fantasizing about how his hot load would taste going down your throat.

“Yes, that’s the last of everything. I’ll have the receptionist see you out.” Lucifer shuffled the documents on his desk and slid them into a drawer.

“Of course. I look forward to future business ventures with you.”

“And I as well. Thank you for coming.”

Something happened then that you didn’t think could ever happen. You stifled a whimper against his cock buried in your face, but it was impossible to not make a sound. Your whole body shivered when he said that word. The way it lilted and the meaning it held to you had involuntarily made you orgasm. All the sexual tension you had been asked to hold for the past month came crashing around you and you were a shaking wreck, clenching around the small toys inside of you. The lack of air making the euphoria of your climax all the more surreal.

“Did you hear something?”

“Must have been the air conditioning settling.” Lucifer lied easily, gripping your hair tightly as a warning. “It does that sometimes… scares me half to death when I’m alone after hours.” He chuckled and gestured towards the door when he saw a message on his desk phone light up. “My receptionist is already here to see you out… Please be sure to drive safely home.”

“I will. Thank you again.”

The pain of his hand in your hair grounded you as you rode out the unbidden orgasm. As soon as the elevator was on its way down, the pressure of his cock filling your mouth and throat as you were roughly pulled away from him. You gasped, tears of relief streaked down your face as you took deep unhindered breaths to clear your mind. Whatever plans you had to swallow his load earlier were completely dashed as he pulled you off his cock.

He slid his chair back assessing your disheveled figure under his desk. The sight of your drool and lipstick smeared across your face, your hair an absolute rat’s nest from the rough treatment and your trembling form in the aftershocks of your sudden orgasm did things to him he hadn’t expected. He knew he had you trained well with the toys; but it never crossed his mind just how much power his words had over you. Just the casual phrase he let slip had made you cum. The knowledge of that sent a thrill through his body as he immediately started to scheme all the things he could do to you.

Lucifer glanced down at his cock, looking at the long red streaks of lipstick smeared all across the length. He smirked, loving how the color looked against it. “I was right… that color does look good all over my cock.” He pushed his chair back again to give you just enough room to timidly crawl out from under the desk and stretch your aching muscles. Seeing you on all fours also made him want to do things to you, things that would have to wait until later. “I was going to reward you for a job well done.” He started, pulling you up and sitting you on the edge of his desk. “But unfortunately… it looks like someone got too much pleasure out of this exchange without my permission.”

His hands spread your thighs apart for him and he pushed your soaked panties to the side, the toys peeking out of your ass and your pussy were absolutely drenched in your juices. Your nether region quivered, and pulsated around the small toy, trying to milk it as you had done to his cock months prior. “Every one of your orgasms… belong to me.”

“Ye… yes, Sir…” you breathed. “I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again, Sir.” you babbled, praying he would forgive you.

“I suppose I can cut you some slack. Even I didn’t know how sensitive you can be from my words.” His fingers stroked your labia, his touch driving you insane. It had been so long since he had last been intimate with you like this, your whole body was in complete sensation overdrive as it relished being touched by him again. Sure, he spent a few minutes every day prepping your ass; but that was nothing compared to what he was giving you now.

“Thank you sir.” You sobbed, your heart nearly beating out of your chest at the prospect of feeling more of him.

“Of course… It’s only proper that I congratulate you on making it through the probationary period.” He replied casually, pulling the plug out of your ass and letting it drop to the ground. He chuckled, as you whined, feeling your anus being stretched out as it exited you and then feeling the emptiness that came after it. The toy in your pussy came out next, but he made sure to take his sweet time to drag it out of you, watching it come out bit by bit. The needy whine that came from your lips as your empty cunt begged to be filled again was music to his ears.

It was only a short moment after that all your needs were fulfilled. His cock easily slid into you, assisted by the copious amounts of your essence that coated your nether region. The dull thud of the toy hitting the ground sounded so distant. All that mattered was finally feeling full and having your needs satiated by Lucifer. With no one else in the office anymore, you moaned loudly, throwing your head back and clutching the edge of the desk to brace yourself. Your legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him closer towards you. It had been so long since you had felt his cock inside of you; yet, your body seemed to remember every ridge and edge of it as he filled you up.

“Does that feel good?” He purred, very pleased at your reaction. Holding off on fucking you was possibly the best decision he had ever made. However, now that he had you, he knew he couldn’t hold off again like that. Not when your heat surrounded him and released all the carnal desire he had reigned in for the past months.

“Yes… Yes, Sir!”

“You’ve wanted this for a long time, now huh?” he asked, starting a slow and steady pace to build you up to yet another explosive orgasm. “The toys I gave you weren’t enough? You wanted this inside of you instead, huh?”

“Yes… Yes… “ You were delirious, swimming in a sea of pure pleasure as his cock hit every sensitive spot in you that had been craving attention for months now. You couldn’t see or think straight. It was all like the first time you had coupled during your interview. All of it was so intense and amazing, it took your breath away. “I want you so much, Sir. I can’t stop thinking about you.” you admitted freely.

“What a good girl…” he praised, stroking your hair gently. “Your hard work will be rewarded.” He said before roughly slamming his hips into you and burying his whole length into you. Your cries of pleasure rang in his ear as he picked up the pace and chased his release inside of you. Your walls, so tight after your first orgasm hugged him deliciously and he saw stars every time he was balls deep inside of you.

“Oh… thank you! Thank you, Sir.” you sang endless praises for him as he fucked you senseless, taking you to highs you had never experienced. Being teased for months on end had made all your nerves so sensitive, you could barely handle the reward he was giving you; and that was possibly the best part of it all. “This is the best… reward.. Thank you… thank y---”

Lucifer cut off your words with a deep kiss, shoving his tongue roughly into your mouth and exploring your mouth. He could taste traces of him in you and it only served to make his hips snap into yours even faster and harder. He was close again. Anytime it came to being inside of you, he knew it would be over soon. Perhaps that was why he preferred to tease you for such long periods of time. The payoff was so worth it in the end.

“Cum.” he commanded once he broke his kiss with you. “Cum like you did the first time, milk me.” He hissed, his pace now erratic and needy.

“Yes! Yes! Yes, Sir!” you obliged, the pleasure building up in your abdomen crumbling all at once and you came around his cock hard. Your vision whiting out for a moment and your ears ringing from the force of your climax.

It only took a few more brutal thrusts before he emptied himself inside of you with a satisfied groan, his long lashes fluttering as your walls pulsed around him and accepted every drop of his seed. “Very good…” He murmured softly, holding you in a close embrace and patting your hair as the both of you came down from the highs of your orgasms.

Lucifer hissed as he pulled out of you once he was soft enough to do so. The image of his cum dripping out of you was so enticing, it almost made him hard again. Satisfied that you were properly trained for his needs, he adjusted your panties back over your crotch and looked up at your blissed out face. “Congratulations, you’re now a permanent member of my staff.” He cooed, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

You weren’t even in the right mindset to thank him, your brain reeling from the pleasure and your body relaxing after finally getting the release you had been craving for months. His words sounded like they were coming from under water, muffled and garbled. You blinked, in a haze, trying to focus.

It wasn’t until something cool hit your neck that you jolted to consciousness, grounding yourself with the new sensation against your heated skin. A thin, delicate chain held up a beautiful pendant in the shape of a peacock feather now adorned your neck. In your high, Lucifer had pulled the gift out from his desk and helped himself to putting it on you.

“A small gift… I think it suits you.” he explained softly.

“Thank you…” You said, rather touched by the gentle gesture. “I’ll wear it with pride.”

“I expect nothing less from you.”

It was true, humans didn’t know much at all until they were trained. You were proof of that and he couldn’t wait to see what other things he could teach you to do with your body.

#Obey me #Obey me fanfiction #Obey me smut #Lucifer x reader #Lucifer x mc #Obey Me AU #CEO! Lucifer is out of control I'm not even sorry #i'm trash you're trash we're all trash #shameless smut

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