#this weather gives me knots in my stomach

[chimeramoth]

love it when my phone keeps alerting me that i have a severe thunderstorm warning starting in a few minutes AND the sun is shining. love it when weather is hilarious

[barefoothighlander]

call me little sunshine

-summary: you come home for summer break to find a new man has moved in next door, he’s charming and mysterious so you welcome him to the neighbourhood

-simon ‘ghost’ riley x innocent fem!reader

-warnings: mdni 18+, dark themes, slight stalker!ghost, dub con, corruption, masturbation (fem), unprotected p-in-v, fingering, creampie, dumbification kinda, size kink, dom!ghost, orgasm denial, ghost has a filthy mouth, spit play if you squint, loss of virginity, oral (fem rec), mention of alcohol, mention of scars, age gap (reader is in 20s, ghost is in 30s)

next part masterlist

a/n: this is pure smut with plot and I regret nothing, this fic contains dark themes so please be advised, also not proofread.

The air was thick, its humidity almost choking you as the sound of thick waves lapping on the beach overtook your hearing, the hot June sun welcoming you as you stepped out onto the porch. You loved being home, even if it was only for a few months, you missed the simplicity of being there, no coursework to worry about, no job weighing on your mind just cold lemonade and swimming in the ocean.

As you situate yourself on your porch, book in hand your eye is caught by the sight of a large broody man moving boxes next door, your dad hadn’t told you that anyone new was moving in, you didn’t even know the previous owners had left, shame, you really liked them, you shake him from your mind and return to your book, settling in against the soft seat cushion.

You read for a while before feeling yourself grow thirsty, moving to the kitchen of the house to find something to drink, as you look out the window above the sink you see him again, only this time he’s not wearing a shirt, it’s tucked into the band of his jeans, every sweat covered muscle gleaming in the sunlight. Your eyes linger on his form before he catches you, stopping what he was doing and giving you a polite smile, you feel your cheeks blush as you return the sentiment with a shy wave, moving out of view to set your back against the wall.  Your skin was hot, you figured it had to be from the weather outside deciding to change into something a little more comfortable for the weather, returning outside in a short white dress, patterned with small bumble bees, it sat low on your chest with thin straps that tied into little knots, perfect for the warm weather.

You glance over toward your car, noticing it could use a little cleaning, grabbing a few rags and making your way over, you lean over the hood, dousing the mental in soapy water, moving around, scrubbing different spots, you stand up, legs drenched in water as you hose down the vehicle.

“You’ll have to clean mine sometime” you hear from behind you, turning your head to see him, he’s practically glowing, you have to raise a hand to the sun just to look at him, he’s close, close enough that you can make out every groove of muscle, every scar that littered his toned form, the only thing you can’t make out is the dark ink that decorated his forearm.

“My truck is pretty dirty” he says breaking your trance.

“Oh,” you laugh

“Guess that happens during a move” He gestures toward a large stack of boxes.

You stifle a laugh, “Yeah doesn’t look great”

He smiles, it’s bright and genuine, “I’m Simon” extending a large hand toward you, you smile raising your hands to show the dirty water on them as he laughs, grabbing yours, enveloping it, lightly running a thumb over the skin, the simple contact making you swallow a lump in your throat.

“Right well, I should probably go shower”

He releases your hands, looking at the wetness on his palm that had transferred, watching your dress blow slightly in the wind, threatening to give him a peek at your ass, taunting him, he clicks his tongue before returning to his own work.

The shower does little to soothe you, a growing sensation in your lower stomach as you enter your room, towel-clad body moving around to pick out comfy clothes, it was nearing nightfall, the sound of cicadas echoing outside your open window, remnants of the sunset bathing your bedroom in a warm glow, you huff a breath to yourself, resting on your bed, hips wiggling a bit trying to ease the gentle thrum between your legs, you try to distract yourself with a book but with every turn of the page you find your mind wandering to him, his broad form glowing in the sun, the gleam of his smile, his dark eyes that stared into your soul. Putting your book to the side you gently move your fingers down your body, ghosting over the hem of your panties, teasing ever so slightly before dipping below the band, gentle fingers circling over your clit. You elicit a quiet moan, not used to the sensation, you continue circling as your jaw falls slack, free hand coming to cup at your breast under your shirt, you quicken your pace, back arching off the bed as whispers of moans fall from your open lips, images of your neighbour flashing before your eyes, you imagine his fingers, rough, roaming over your skin, teasing over your sensitive bud as you feel the coil in your stomach tighten, you grip the sheets as your orgasm washes over you, whimpers of his name falling from your tongue. You lay in your bed breathless, turning over in your bed as sleep takes over your mind.

You woke early the next morning, your skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as the heat creeps in through your window, you rub your eyes and move to get dressed, you had to go into town and it was hot again today, you settled on a simple skirt and tank top, something that would let your skin breath as you packed your bag, bidding your Dad a good morning before getting into your car. Your errands took longer than expected, a harsh rain setting over the terrain as you pulled into your driveway, you catch a glimpse of Simon on his porch, a glass of whiskey in hand as he watched the rain fall, offering him a small smile before making your way to the door, digging through your bag to find your keys, panic setting in when you realized they were nowhere to be seen, you peer through the window, willing someone inside to appear and let you in, out of the pouring rain, but no one’s there. Defeated you turn your back against the wall, huffing a breath.

“Locked out?” you hear him call, standing in the safety of his covered entrance.

“Yeah, forgot my keys inside”

“Did you want to wait inside mine?” he offers

You think for a minute, “No that’s alright, I can handle a little rain” you laugh

“You’re gonna catch a cold” he states plainly

You mull it over in your mind, you really didn’t want to be standing in the rain, you nod and make your way over to him, you miss the way his eyes linger on your form, your clothes soaked, clinging to your skin, allowing him the perfect view of your breasts and ass.

“Here come inside”

The two of you step inside, you look around the room, it’s not heavily decorated but small trinkets litter the shelves, a couple plaques hung around the room.

“Wait here, I’ll get you some dry clothes”

You remain still in your spot, and he returns with a small stack of clothes.

“Bathrooms over there doll”

You smile before making your way, his eyes glued to your curves, watching the way your hips move as you walk away. You close the door, stripping your clothes before throwing on the ones he had given you, no doubt belonging to him considering the way they hung loosely on your body, your hair was drenched but there was nothing you could do about it. You return to him standing at the bar,

“Give me those” he says hand extending to the mess of wet clothes in your hand, taking them from you to throw them in the dryer.

“You can sit if you’d like” he points toward the couch across the room,

Smiling at him before making your way over, he follows, propping himself right next to you, you can feel the heat emanating from his body as he reaches an arm to rest behind your head.

“So you just moved in?” you try to make conversation

He takes a swig of his drink turning to face you, “About a week ago, it’s a nice spot”

You nod, “I grew up here, parents moved when I was 4”

“Mmm I didn’t see you when I moved in”

“I just got back from school, summer break”

“Ah, university?” he asks, innocently enough

“Yea, I’m studying history”

“Interesting stuff”

You nod in response,

“I’ve got some old books upstairs, unpublished works from people who’s names I can’t pronounce”

“Where’d you find them?” slight smile creeping onto your face

“Can’t remember, wanna check them out?”

You nod as he guides you up the stairs, leading you into a small study, a sizeable bookshelf sits in the corner, beside a large grey safe.

“What’s in the safe” you turn to face him, he’s leaning against the doorway pinning you under his stare.

“Nothing you need to worry about doll”

You blush at the nickname, he moves across the room picking out an old leather bound book and handing it to you, his fingers ghosting over yours, the contact sends chills up your spine.

“I haven’t read this one” you say shyly

“Well it’s yours anytime you want it” he says, fingers roaming up your bare arms, your eyes are locked on his, body frozen from the contact.

“Can I ask you a question?” he says, leaning down to place his lips next to your ear, his English accent suddenly thicker, his words drenched in honey, you nod, unable to think of words. “Do you like teasing me”, you quirk your eyebrow,

“Huh?”

He smiles against your neck, his hot breath making your hairs stand on end,

“The tiny dresses, the practically see through tops, bending over right in front of me”

You’re confused, “I don’t know what you’re talking about." He bites at your neck causing a small moan to fall from your lips,

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about love”

You shake your head, “No I swear-” your words cut short at the feeling of his palms roaming under your loose top, coming to rest under the curve of your breasts, your breath hitches as you feel the pad of his thumb come to swipe over your hard nipple.

“Think you can get away with it hmm, making me hard, serving yourself up on a platter for me”

Your eyes flick to his, “I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to”

He shushes you, his hands moving down to grab at the meat of your ass as he presses his body into you, the firm contact of his length pressing against your thigh making you drop the book in your hands.

“S’alright doll, I’ll give you what you need”

You clench your eyes as you feel his hand cup your sex,

“Tsk, no panties, and you tell me you aren’t teasing”

“Th- they were wet”

“Mm so are you” He strokes two fingers through your slit, grazing your clit, forcing your head to fall forward against his shoulder as your hands grip his shirt. He teases over your clit, as you try to grind yourself onto his palm, desperate for contact.

“Needy girl” he whispers, kissing at your pulse point, he slides a finger into you, groaning at the way you clench him.

“Fuck you’re tight, gonna have to work you open for me huh” He grins a sadistic grin, peering at your scrunched face. He continues fucking you with one finger, his rough palm colliding with your clit, creating the perfect mixture of contact that has you teetering on the edge. As you’re about to tip off the edge he removes his hand, earning a whine from you, whimpering at the loss of contact, the heat still burning in your lower stomach.

“Stand up for me pretty girl”

You do as he says, feeling his arms grip under your knees, easily lifting you from the ground to plant you on the desk, kissing at your collarbone as he finds the hem of your shirt, lifting it over your head. The cool air grazes your skin as goosebumps begin to form, you watch him with doe eyes as he sinks down, lips latching onto your nipple, his hand coming to toy with the other, he sucks your nipple in, biting it lightly earning a gasp from you as he moves to give the same treatment to the other. He sucks at the valley of your breasts as he moves to take off your pants, urging you to lift up a little so he can slide them off, he moves back, hands spreading your legs as he’s looking at your dripping pussy.

“Such a perfect little cunt” he says, placing soft kisses to the inside of your thighs before licking a stripe through your folds, stopping at the top to tease over your sensitive bud, you instinctively clamp your legs, he grips your thighs, spreading your legs wide allowing him to kneel directly in front of you, the sensation is too much, you’re a mess of moans and whimpers, that familiar heat boiling in your stomach as you clench around nothing, he studies your movements, detaching himself at the last second to bring you slowly back from the edge, you try to grab his head to move him back but he stands firm.

“You’ll cum when I want you to”

You whimper,

“Tell me what you want baby”

You force the words from your throat, "I want to cum”

“Use your manners”

“Please, let me cum”

He smirks, fingers pinching at your nipples, bringing his fingers back to your leaking hole, you moan at the stretch, he pumps slowly, easing you into it as he watches your face contort with pleasure before latching his lips back to your clit. He pumps his fingers into you quicker, your moans growing louder, he bites lightly at your bud at you elicit a yelp, replacing his fingers with his tongue, his thumb circling over your clit, you’re so close you could scream.

“Come on baby, cum on my tongue, taste so good” His praise dries you forward, your hands gripping his hair as your back arches, your orgasm taking over your body, a blinding white light obstructing your view as your moans fall from your open mouth.

“Good girl,” he says, moving up to kiss you harshly, “taste that baby? so sweet”

Your breath is heavy, your mind clouded from your orgasm, you feel weightless as he picks you up, laying you back against the desk.

“Wait” you manage, “I’ve never”, his smirks grows

“Aw baby, are you a virgin”

You nod sheepishly, his mind floods with a million ideas, but right now, he has to feel you. He climbs over your body stripping himself of his clothes, your eyes come into contact with his hard length, widening at the sight.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle” he coos, tip teasing at your folds, he grabs your knees, spreading you wide forcing your body against the mattress as he holds you under his weight, even if you wanted to fight back you couldn’t, body weak from his touch. He pushes in slowly, just the tip at first, watching as your eyes squeeze shut.

“Look at me, wanna watch you as my cock splits you open”

You follow his command, scared of what might happen if you didn’t, as he pushes in further, the stretch of him practically tearing you in half,

“Fuck baby not even half way and you’re squeezin me so tight”

You moan at his words as he continues to press into you inch by inch before bottoming out,

“That’s it baby, just relax”

His thrusts are shallow and slow, easing you into it as your hands cling to his shoulders, he pushes in deep as your back arches, your clit grazing against his pubic hair. He places a firm hand on your lower stomach,

“Fuck, you see that doll” You glance down at where your bodies meet, “Can practically see myself inside you”

Your body fights against the intrusion, the pain of him pressing against your cervix, you’re writhing under him but he leans down to cage you against the bed as he starts fucking into you faster. You’re breathless, careless moans slip from your mouth.

“You feel so good, don’t think I’m gonna be able to stop myself”

You moan in response and he laughs, “Only had my cock for a minute and already can’t talk, you cockdrunk baby,” he says, hand grabbing at your jaw to hold it open before leaning up to spit in your mouth, 

“Swallow it” he orders, and you do, the remnants of his whiskey linger, burning your throat as he continues fucking you at a relentless pace, your muscles are weak as he moves back, gripping your thighs tight to your chest, holding you down with his weight.

“I’m gonna fill this little pussy, let everyone know you’re mine” he grunts

You shake your head, trying to tell him no but it comes out as mumbles,

“Shit I’m sorry love, just feels too good”

You claw at him but he persists, long strokes filling you as his balls slap against the skin of your ass,

“Squeezin me so tight, m’gonna cum”

Your attempts at refusal are useless as his balls tighten, pressing himself deep into you as the warm sensation floods your abused hole, fucking into you a few more times making sure you got every last drop before pulling out, he steps back to examine his work, pressing a finger into you,

“Gotta make sure it all stays in”

You groan at the intrusion, the contact making you twitch slightly, he moves beside you placing a kiss on your head,

“Did so well angel”

Your body is jello, limbs exhausted as he holds you tight to him, moving you to the bed across the hall. You don’t know when you fell asleep but you wake up and he’s gone, the remnants of his spend leaking from your sensitive cunt, as you try to get up, noticing the pile of clothes set next to the bed, you dress carefully, trying to maintain your balance and making your way down the stairs, noticing his broad form sat on one of the porch chairs, you creep your way to him, standing by his side.

“Better get home pretty girl, Daddy’s back,” he says nodding towards your father's car in the driveway, your throat is dry, as you walk back to your home, you feel his eyes glued to you, you feel like his prey. You step inside and are greeted by your parents asking about your day, your mind freezes,

“Are you alright honey?”

You take a minute, “Yeah just, super tired I guess, I’m gonna head upstairs” sparing them a smile before making your way to your room, you step into the shower trying to wash everything off you, the warm water soothes your body before you step out, looking at your form in the mirror, noticing a deep purple mark between your breasts, running a light hand over it. You change into pyjamas and settle into bed, your mind is tired, your body is tired, you toss and turn trying to get comfortable, cringing at the feeling of Simon's seed still spilling from you, you turn over in your bed, clenching your eyes shut hoping you were simply imagining him as once again sleep takes over your body.

[thehauntedetheral]

Kidnapper Dom yandere? I have a soft spot for those!! - pet darling

This is my first time writing smut so please be kind. Requests are open!!

Yan Dom Kidnapper

• You woke up in an unknown room on an unknown bed. By the decor and how huge the room is you are sure the owner is god damn rich. Did you had a one night stand yesterday night? You tried to remember what happened to end up here but your mind came up blank.

• You heard someone enter the room and saw a handsome man who is older than you with a strong built and tall height with black hairs. Totally a daddy material you thought. Shut up and think about the situation not about the dilf you scolded yourself in mind.

• "Glad you woke up" the dilf said.

• "How did I ended up here?"

• "Well sweetheart, I kidnapped you". He said so causally like he was talking about today's weather and not that he kidnapped you.

• You got angry and lumped towards him trying to put a fight but he just grabbed your both hands in his and made you lay on bed whispering in your ear to be a good girl. Well this was not helping your situation and rather worsening your daddy issues and praise kink making you a little wet by his little weight on you.

• He tied your hands and made you sat on his lap and told you how he stalked you for months, has been obsessed with you since his eyes set upon you .

• You listened to all this quietly while trying to process how the hell did you end up in situation that you read on your Tumblr and in smut books.

• After he told you everything. His big veiny hand got under your dress holding it up and sliding your panties down his fingers started teasing your clit at a slow tortours way making you grind against his lap.

• "Stay still" he ordered. And you did.

• He pushed one finger inside your hole then another and started thursting them in a high speed curling at your g spots making you whine and moan.

•"please" you moan feeling a knot forming in your stomach, your eyes feeling heavy.

•"please what, babygirl?" He asked fingering your hole which was leaking with your juices while his other hand played with your nipple enjoying how you are begging for him.

•"please please make me cum" you whined feeling his hands all over you. He loved hearing your moans and whine enjoying how you listened his orders.

• He fastened his pace thrusting his fingers harder at your g spot while adding a third finger making you ride his hand and see stars. The thursting, his fingers filling your cunt and his hard cock which you can feel by sitting on his lap was too much for you and you came. Your cum all spread over his fingers while you are covered in sweat.

• He took out his fingers giving your clit a little squeeze and ordered you to suck his finger clean. You followed his order and sucked and licked his fingers clean from your cum.

"Good girl" he said patting your head. Maybe being kidnapped by him isn't that bad right? After all i am just a girl 🎀

Want part 2? Let me know through comments.

Requests are open!

For more yandere reading:

[oracle-of-dream]

Sweetness #2

Minors DNI

A continuation of Sweetness; Anton caught Sungchan taking advantage of your hypnosis and wants a piece.

Warnings: Male Reader, Big Cocks Riize, Creampie, Standing fuck, Forced entry, Hypnosis, Slight Dubcon, Rough sex

Wordcount: 2.2k

The morning was tense and quiet. You slept the longest, which kept the members shifting between rooms as they avoided the living room.

One by one, they filed into Sungchan's room.

"So now what?" Seunghan asked.

"We just act normal. Nothing happened last night. We just played games, got drunk, and went to bed. That's our story," Sungchan's calmness put order among the chaos in the others.

All except Anton, "Yeah. Nothing happened."

Sungchan raised his eyebrow, "You wanna talk to me about something?"

Anton shook his head, "No, it's nothing."

The members awkwardly left the room, trying to go about their morning. The only one who was brave enough to go into the living room was Wonbin. He walked right past you while you slept on the couch, giving the others the courage to do the same. Eventually, everyone started getting brave enough to move around and make noise.

As Sungchan went to his room from the kitchen, Anton pulled him into the bathroom.

"Anton, what the hell?"

"Don't give me that! What the fuck is with you?" Anton whispered.

Sungchan's face morphed into confusion, "What is it?"

"I saw you last night. I know what you did to y/n."

Sungchan's eyes widened, "You can't tell anyone about that." He thought about how you were faking the hypnosis. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard you tell him to suck your cock," Anton whispered even more when saying the last part of the sentence. "It's not fair that you can have free reign over him after preaching that we need to respect him."

"So I should tell everyone to go crazy on him?"

"No… I've got a proposal."

Sungchan raised an eyebrow, "Spit it out."

"I won't tell the others and Y/n what you did if you can buy me some alone time with him," Anton stuck his hand out for a handshake.

"What do you want from him?"

"You know what– We can never bring girls home, and we've barely had time to get around. So if I see my window, why shouldn't I take it?

Sungchan hated the thought of giving you away for Anton, but he had no choice. The members would tear him apart for being such a hypocrite.

"Fine. I'll buy you time," Sungchan shook Anton's hand, sealing the forbidden deal.

The two exit the bathroom just as you stir from your slumber.

Wonbin was watching the news on the TV near you, "Weather says a bad snowstorm is coming. We'll be snowed in together for the next few days."

"Yay! More time with my boys!" You cheered.

Some cheered, but Sungchan felt a knot in his stomach. Something was going to go wrong.

Anton was tingling from the news– More days with you. He couldn't admit it to Sungchan, but he'd always wanted to sleep with you. Even go for something more if you'd let him, but he never had the chance to ask you out before becoming a part of Riize.

You cooked breakfast for the others. You'd brought food since you knew their fridge would be empty, but there was no way it would last the snowstorm. You were going through your ingredients when you heard someone behind you.

The voice whispered, "Sweetie, can we talk in private?" It was Anton. Trying to command you into another room.

You stood, leaving your ingredients on the counter, and followed him as the rest of the boys watched you closely.

Wonbin spoke up, "Where ya headed, y/n?"

"I need to shower. Anton wanted to help me find the towels," You replied with a smile.

Anton was amazed at how fast you lied. Hypnosis was a scary beast.

Sungchan walked into the living room as You and Anton left it. They exchanged looks, and Sungchan started a conversation loud enough to grab everyone's attention. He was planning a trip into the cold before things got too bad.

Anton led you into his room and locked the door behind you. You could see his cock already bulging in his sweatpants.

"O-Okay, now, Sweetness, I want you to undress for me," Anton shifted his weight back and forth nervously.

You had to swallow a smile as you turned away from him to unbutton your shirt and slide your pants off as slowly as possible.

"You can go faster," He said impatiently.

You ignored him, teasing him as your underwear slid down your legs.

As soon as you were naked enough for him, Anton took your hand, guided you to his bed, and sat you down. He handled you rather clumsily, but you tried to Anton’s wants.

"You're like a doll… I wish you were more like you. I like you more that way," He muttered as he sized you up and slid his pants off.

Anton always wore baggy clothes, but he was an athlete through and through. His back was large, with broad shoulders and biceps that made you instantly smile.

"Sweetness. Lay down."

You did.

"How did he cum like this? Did he say something specific?" Anton muttered as he climbed on you, his hand sweeping your neck. He studied your face closely with tenderness, "God, you're beautiful… And for now, you're all mine. I've got it so bad for you, and I'm too much of a coward to tell you." He kissed your lips, "You still love me anyways, even if I'm a coward, right?"

You finally broke character with a big smile, "A coward?"

Anton flinched, "Y-You–" He climbed off you and covered his cock that was shaking in his boxers.

"Me," You smiled as you sat up. You slipped on a button-up shirt on Anton’s bed but left it open. "This is the part where you apologize for trying to take advantage of me," You raised an eyebrow.

"Right. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do it– It wasn't you…" Anton hung his head with shame.

"Then, how about this? We keep up the illusion for a little longer. Let everyone think I'm under the spell. Everyone is in trouble, but how much depends on them."

Anton nodded, "And if we do that?"

"Well, you came in here to fuck me, right? We have to keep up the game. Or the others will catch on," You laid back down and put your arms out for him. "Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you. Don't forget the magic word."

"Sweetness?" Anton questioned.

You raised your eyebrows as you waited for his order.

"We're fucking. Right now. But you have to stay quiet. Any noises from you should be you calling me, Daddy," Anton's chest swelled at Daddy.

"Yes, Daddy," You cooed to him.

He took that as his go-ahead, diving into you. His large frame overtook you as he planted himself between your legs. He was excited, holding you down as his mouth crashed into your lips. Anton forgets how big he is as he watches you strain your neck to meet his lips.

"S-Sorry," He whispered as he lowered himself more.

Now his weight was crushing you, his hands tightly wrapped around your wrists as he threw you around without a care in the world.

"Anton, you're being too rough," You moaned.

"Don't be like that. I know you can handle it. You're Daddy's boy, right?" He lifted your leg onto his shoulder, stretching you as he pushed your leg toward your head. "Oh, so flexible~" He kissed your inner thigh as he lifted your other leg to match.

The stretch of your leg muscles burned, but nothing compared to feeling Anton pushing into you, as was rushing to get to the good part. He fumbled, missing your hole twice before slamming into you fully.

"Oh, holy– Fuck!" You covered your mouth to contain your noises. Your body recoiled as you tried to crawl away from Anton, sliding on your back as his cock slipped out of you.

"Don't run."

"It's too much! You're too big–"

Anton grabbed you by your hips and pulled you back into him, pushing his cock back into you. "You can take it," He rubbed your stomach and squeezed your size to encourage you. "Just breathe."

Anton breathed with you, caressing you as you looked into his eyes. "Sweetness. Stay quiet," He commanded as he lifted you onto him. He looked up at you, your nipples poking at his face, as he smiled, "You look beautiful on me, more than I imagined."

Your hands found their way to land on his shoulders. Anton's still were perched on your hips, pulling you down. Somehow he kept having more dick to shove into you. By the end of it, at least nine inches were inside of you. It was shorter than Sungchan's by two whole inches, but inside you, it didn't make a difference as you felt your brain melting.

"I'm all in. Can you bounce, Sweetness?" Anton asked.

You slithered your fingers into his hair and tugged on it, earning a girlish moan from him. "You shove all that in me and expect me to do the work?"

"N-No, of course not… I was kidding," Anton whinced at the pain of your tugging. But when you let him go, he put your hand back on his head, "Again, please."

You pulled on his hair again, and a more manly groan came out since he was ready this time. He lifted your hips and slammed you down onto him, knocking the air right out of you. The sensation shot up your spine as you saw stars on the ceiling. You couldn't bring your neck to relax enough to look down at Anton, and you pulled harder as he picked up the pace.

Anton told you to be quiet, but he was making more noise than you were. The moans, whimpers, the bed creaking, and the sound of your skin slapping together filled the room.

It was only three hits before you were cumming on Anton's stomach. Your fingers dug into his shoulder, and your voice was barely audible, "Wait, please– I need a second."

"No more waiting, I need to cum too!" Anton stood and carried you as he thrust into you, getting even deeper than earlier. Tears ran down your face from the overstimulation. You couldn't stop moaning and didn't stop as Anton lost his mind, pounding into you fiercely until one hard thrust made him spill into you. His cock shot out so much cum.

You twitched, reeling from every motion as Anton came down from his high. His chest heaved, "Did you survive?"

You couldn't answer– your jaw tightened shut.

"Sweetness? You okay?" Anton's voice was concerned when he realized how much he'd fucked you up.

Your hair was a mess, tear stains on your face, and your ass was spilling cum on the floor. You have bite marks on your neck and bruises on your hips.

"Oh god. Um– Y/n, please don't kill me. Let's get you down," Anton gently laid you on the bed, his cock still inside you. "I'm gonna pull out now, try and bare it." Anton pulled out in one quick motion, earning moans from you and turning you into a shuddering mess as you came again. He bit down his pride as he covered you under his sheet, "You lay here. I'll get towels and more clothes for you."

Anton left the room, turning the light off behind him as he slipped his shirt over his head. He fixed his hair and pants and straightened his back before entering the living room.

Seunghan and Eunseok were sitting at the table, staring at him.

"Really?" Seunghan spat.

"What?"

Eunseok jumped in, "Don't you think we could hear that? You weren't even trying to be quiet."

"You're lucky Sungchan convinced the others to try and run to the store with him to get more ingredients. We stayed back," Seunghan looked at Anton fiercely. "Let's talk, Anton."

Anton sat down at the table, "You can't tell the others!"

"You're not in the position to tell us that! You broke the agreement. We all said we'd respect y/n, not fuck him."

"Sungchan broke it first!" Anton wanted to take it back as soon as he said it, but it was too late.

"Explain."

Anton explained what he'd seen the night before between you and Sungchan. Eunseok and Seunghan could hardly believe that he was such a hypocrite.

"Well, if you two can get a pass. Then we're getting on too," Seunghan laughed. "And I know we won't get caught like you two idiots. And you’ll help us, Anton."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then we'll tell y/n and the others. Sungchan will kill you for ratting him out. The others will kill you for fucking y/n. And y/n will kill us all for hypnotizing him, but you more because you took advantage of him."

Anton held in his smirk, knowing that you were testing everyone else. He didn't like the thought that everyone might make an attempt on you, but he couldn't ruin your plan. Especially if that meant he'd get to fuck you again.

"Okay, I'll help. But help me clean y/n up before the others get here."

Eunseok and Seunghan looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

Eunseok leaned in, "We'll handle that. Just get towels. We're going to take a shower."

Anton ran off to get the towels, trying not to get hard again as he thought about the both of them fucking you.

[psychedelic-ink]

ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ⸻ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒

ㅤㅤjoel miller x f!reader

⌜HOW MR. MILLER STOLE CHRISTMAS MASTERLIST⌟

genre: enemies to lovers, romance, fake dating, minors dni

word count: 5.2k

chapter summary: unlike what you thought, the rumor hasn't been dying out and with a new game plan in mind, you go to seek out Joel.

warnings: age gap, fake dating, mostly fluff, drinking, small town gossip, people talking about the age difference, another heated kiss

**dividers by @saradika

You’re a fucking idiot. 

A moron. 

A fool. 

Fucking small towns. Of course, rumors would spread. Of course, everyone would start talking about seasoned survivor Joel Miller and his new young lover. You shudder at the thought, unable to identify if it’s a bad shudder or the kind that makes your stomach flutter. You hate the idea of Joel being right. He’d said people would talk. And newsflash, unlike what you had thought, the gossip hasn’t died out. 

There are two fundamental reasons why neither you nor Joel can just shrug it off, saying it’s not true. The first reason is that both Steven and Marc saw you being shoved up against a wall, passionately locking lips with Joel. The second reason is the fact that no one would think the twins were lying.

Again, this wouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t have a past to hide. People would start digging if you told them the rumors were only that. Rumors. They would start asking questions like where the two knew each other from. And you knew for a fact that Joel doesn’t want people digging either. People knew what kind of man he was, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they will turn a blind eye to him killing the last hope of human survival. 

Snow crunches under your boots, your body sweating despite the cold. Tommy’s place finally comes into view. You pray he hadn’t heard any of the rumors, as impossible as that might be. 

Some part of you believes that if a time ever comes when everyone finds out what Joel had done, you'll stick up for him. You’re the only person who knows the way of the firefly. How easy it was for them to kill when they thought they were the heroes. In the end, he spared you, it was hard to hate a person who allowed you to live. No matter how much he regrets it now. 

On the porch, you stare at the door. It’s weathered for the most part, some parts fixed and polished but not the whole thing. 

You knock loudly two times, it doesn’t take long for Tommy to open the door, his lips curling instantly when he lays his eyes on you. 

“Well well well, look who it is,” he says too cheerfully, you’re already rolling your eyes. “The good old sister-in-law! Can you tell me why I had to hear about you and my brother tying the knot from Wellington?” 

Jesus fucking Christ, Wellington knows? No wonder this bullshit isn’t dying out. 

“We’re not married Tommy.” 

“Yet.”

“Just tell me where he is, matchmaker.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his smile melting, “You don’t know?” 

It takes you everything for you not to take deep heavy breaths. He’s making this exceptionally hard. You had a plan. And that plan meant you and Joel wouldn’t be an item in the near future. For said plan to work, however, no one needs to know it was fake to begin with. 

“I don’t have his schedule, Tommy, and I wanted to surprise him with,” You press your molars together and lift your bag, forcing a smile. “Baked goods.”  

Tommy is full of glee again, “Awwww how fuckin’ sweet. Didn’t know you had it in ya Pecan.” Before you can answer, he points to the bag. “I’ll give you the information for one cinnamon roll.” 

You give him a deadpan look, mouth opening and closing like a fish. You’d only gotten two and you were looking forward to it. Instinctively you pull the bag back, hiding it behind you. “No.”  

“Come on, pay up, or else I ain’t tellin’ you.” 

“Fuck, fine. You’re a mean one.” 

“If you say Mr Grinch I’m taking two.” 

“No!” 

He grins widely, perfect straight teeth coming into view. As he leans forward to snatch the bag away, you get a whiff of his scent and witness how perfectly his dark locks fall forward. Fuck, what kind of super genes did the Millers possess? How are they both so effortlessly attractive? It’s sometimes easy to forget that Tommy can be classified as good-looking since the two of you tend to give each other hell most of the time. But during those short moments where you get a good look at him? It’s devastating. 

Tommy holds out the bag and stuffs the cinnamon roll into his mouth, his jaw moving. 

“You really not gonna share it with Maria? It’s a miracle your spine isn’t broken from sleeping on the couch.”

He takes the roll out of his mouth and takes a proper bite, “I’m a fuckin’ delight to be around and she’s not home.” You take the bag and as you do, stick out your tongue. “Brat. Your loverboy is at the tree farm cuttin’ up trees. Tell him I say hi and he should find me later.” 

“I’m not his secretary.” 

“It’s almost like you want me to take all your treats.” 

The smell of pine fills your lungs and you’re grateful. You adore the smell. The freshness and sweetness of it mixing with the crispness of snow. You’re honestly amazed at how organized the tree farm is. Tall, lush pine trees in perfect order as you walk between them. Lights have been strung up temporarily, the wires that tie them together so thin that it almost looks like they’re hanging from the sky. They must look beautiful during the night. 

It takes you a while to find Joel. He’s in the back and you approach him silently. That wasn’t your initial intention, being snuck up on is never fun. But the way he’s chopping wood makes your insides feel all runny and warm. You didn’t know he additionally chopped firewood as well. He lifts the axe and throws it down, sweat beading on his forehead. The sleeves of his flannel are rolled up, exposing the sinewy muscle of his forearms to your gaze. He cuts down another log, it becomes two in one swift motion. Your mouth dries and tongue rushes out to wet your lips. Your mind cruelly reminds you of the night you kissed him, how good it had felt to have him pressed against you, claiming you—

“Why don’t you bring a damn camera next time, it’ll add to the whole stalker pervert thing you have goin’ on right now.” 

Okay. He’s joking. Joking is good, right? Joking means that he doesn’t think about covering your face with a pillow while you sleep. Your body tenses, the soft hairs scattered across your body rising with attention. 

“Sorry,” you blurt out, the two of you standing only inches apart. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you but we need to talk.” 

“I was wonderin’ when you’d come by. Sucks to be wrong doesn’t it?��� 

“How was I supposed to know people had nothing else better to do than talk about our non-existent relationship.” 

Joel suddenly throws the axe down, impaling the sharp end into the wood, you jump, adrenaline humming in your ears. He ignores your very fair reaction and peels off his gloves, turning towards the bench, “Gee, only if someone had told you that people would talk.” 

“Yeah, okay I deserve that.” 

He sighs, “What do you want?” 

“Like I’ve been saying since the day I realized who you are: to talk.” 

“Fine. I was about to take a damn break anyway. Come on, now.” 

You both sit on the ice-cold bench, he leans over and picks up a thermos. You’re surprised when he also pulls out two mugs, placing them on top of a clearly handmade bite-sized picnic table. Without a word, you quickly place your offerings as well, at least the ones Tommy had let you get away with, two cheese-stuffed bagels and one cinnamon roll. You frown when you look at it. You really wanted that roll. 

“What’s this?” Joel asks, filling the mugs. 

“I thought you’d be in better spirits with a full stomach.” 

You almost earn a hint of laughter but the sound is quickly swallowed down. The traces of his smile still linger on the corner of his lips, “Well, at least you’re not dumb enough to come empty-handed.” 

Ignoring him, you place your cold palms around the mug and take a sip. The fresh taste of lavender and honey coats your tongue. Your favorite. “Huh, weird,” you mutter. 

“What? Does it taste funny?” 

“No no. It’s just. . . Lavender tea is my favorite.” 

“Go figure,” he takes a sip and scowls. “I’d rather have coffee.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t think you were a tea-loving man.” He grunts and picks up one of the bagels, taking a bite. “About the whole dating situation, I have a plan.” 

He doesn’t acknowledge what you’ve said so you continue, “The plan is we fake it for a while, act like a couple, make everyone gush over us, then we break up, saying we wanted different things. That way no one digs into our pasts.” 

“This is the weirdest way anyone has ever asked me out.” 

You snort, “I’m not asking you out. The key word here is fake. Because if we just say we weren’t dating at all, people are going to wonder why you had me up against a wall. And unless you want to tell people you were threatening me. . .” you give him a look but he’s staring at the horizon, chewing thoughtfully on his bagel. You think he’s scowling but you’re not sure. “I think this is the best way.” 

He swallows the last bite and glares at his mug before taking another sip of his tea, he wrinkles his nose. “How would we have to be around each other? I haven’t exactly been datin’ around that much.” 

“I was six when the outbreak happened. I’m pretty sure your guess is better than mine.” 

That finally catches his attention, his eyes widen, the furrow between his brows deep, “Six?” he repeats. 

“Yeah.” 

You’re used to people being surprised. Most like you haven’t survived. And your references to the past always made you seem older than you were, you preferred it that way. The less people could guess about you the better. Your mom and dad always paid extra attention to tell you about the world before the cordyceps, reminding you that a life like that could still be your reality once again. 

“Was. . .” Joel swallows, pulling you away from your parents. You reach for the other bagel and start eating, giving him time so he can just spit it out. “Was that your first kiss?” 

There is something in his voice, an emotion very similar to guilt. You swallow your bite. 

“No. It wasn’t.” And that’s all you have to say about that. It seems to be enough because he visibly relaxes, his shoulders dropping. You change the subject. Quickly. “I’m thinking we hold hands a bit, kiss each other on the cheek, and stuff like that. We can come up with rules if you want but I think it’s pretty straightforward.” 

He nods. An oddly comfortable silence stretches out. You finish your bagel and drain the rest of your tea. 

“We should probably split this,” he says and pulls out a knife from his belt. 

“Oh. . . you can have it.” 

Joel chuckles, it isn’t quite a laugh but you still take it as a win. “I saw how you were oglin’ it. I ain’t gonna risk you biting my head off,” he cuts it into two and offers you the bigger half. A smile brushes against your lips. “Why didn’t you just get two?” 

“I did!” you gasp, forgetting that the two of you aren’t lovers, not even friends. “Tommy took one as compensation for telling me where you were. By the way, he wanted me to tell you hi and that the two of you should meet up later.” 

“Why ain’t he lettin’ me know his damn self. I know he ain’t doin’ shit today. You’re not my secretary.” 

“That’s what I said!” 

Another chuckle. You’re acing this. 

“I’ll get him to pay you back, don’t worry.” 

“You don’t have to,” you laugh. “It’s just a roll.” 

“Well, you’re my girl now, aren’t you? It would be unboyfriend-like of me not to avenge my girl. If we’re gonna fake it, might as well do it right.” 

My girl. Your cheeks grow warm. You know it’s not real, and that deep down he most likely despises your existence that threatens his peace but still, it’s good to belong. Even if it’s not real. Even if it’s a lie. Your brain tricks your body into feeling whole for a brief moment, that internal coldness you’ve been feeling since the day your parents died melting ever so lightly, the warm water that drips over the icy exterior, warming your stomach. 

“Tell him he owes me two then,” you say, barely above a whisper. “The bakery rarely makes them you know, cinnamon is hard to make.” 

He nods but doesn’t add anything else. The crinkles soften at the corner of his eyes, lips looking soft and pliant. You might’ve even dared enough to say that he looks at peace. 

You stand and leave, taking a mental note to bring him more treats from now on. 

You successfully fool yourself into believing it’s for his sake and not yours. 

Joel enjoys the cold. He always knew he would but was never allowed to say it since he never lived in the cold. He hated that argument. Sure he lived in Austin his entire life but that didn’t mean he didn’t ache for a bit of chill. Even at the end of the world, when he barely had enough to cover his back, he found himself enjoying the little things. The fresh, crisp air, the snow crunching under his boots. 

The silence. 

Sometimes he wonders if he likes it so much because it reminds him of death and considering all the seasons, winter is the one where he is closest to it. Closest to Sarah. He does hope she’s someplace warmer now. He’s not a man of faith, but for her, he’ll believe there’s an afterlife where nothing but good and butterflies exist. 

Joel also feels closest to her when he’s with Tommy. His brother is the only one who knew her, the good in her. He was the one who was there when the world was stripped away from such a kind being, and he was there when she was buried under the world she could always see the best of. 

As Joel walks up to the porch the brothers' eyes meet, it’s true that uncles resemble the kids. Sometimes if the light hits him just right, Joel could see a bit of her in him. 

“You owe her two rolls,” Joel huffs, sitting on the empty chair beside Tommy. 

“I don’t know what she told you but we had a very fair exchange, I don’t owe your little girlfriend shit,” he grins, not noticing the way Joel frowns at the label. “Nice to see the guard dog in you hasn’t died out.” 

“I ain’t a guard dog.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

“Just bring her two tomorrow and I’ll owe you one favor.” 

Tommy’s grin only widens, “You must really want to impress her.” 

Joel fights the urge to roll his eyes. This whole arrangement is going to be a pain in the ass, he can sense it. 

“Fine, tell pecan I’ll have her goods Friday. I doubt I’ll be able to wake up early enough to get it tomorrow but you owe me one Joel.” 

“Why the hell do you call her Pecan anyway? That ain’t her name, you dumbass.” 

“It’s because she has a hard shell but nice and soft on the inside.” Joel’s shoulders raise and he swallows thickly around the knot forming in his throat. He remembers the way you tasted on his tongue. How soft you were against him, no hard shell in sight. Tommy has no idea just how soft you are and can be. His cock twitches under the denim. He hates himself for it. “You should bring her to the party tonight.” 

“Huh?” 

“That party, Joel,” Tommy playfully smacks his shoulder. “Don’t tell me you forgot already. You promised to come.” 

Oh yeah. Fuck. He really doesn’t want to go and deal with all the eyes he already knows will be on him. And you. 

“Yeah, ‘course I remember. I’ll be there.” 

“Just you?” 

Joel sighs, “And her. We’ll be there.” 

“You know, I’m truly happy for you brother. You deserve to be happy with someone who appreciates you.” 

The words sting but he can’t do anything about it. He looks away, eyes staring at the snow-covered trees. “I don’t like being at the center of attention.” 

“It’ll die out. The lonely bachelors are just jealous. Don’t mind them.” 

Joel doesn’t need to ask to know what he’s talking about. You’re nearly half his age, six when the damn world came to an end. He knows people are wondering how the hell an old man like him got a girl like you, as if your age is the only reason to be with you. Not that he would know. None of this is real after all. You don’t appreciate him like Tommy suggested, maybe grateful for not putting a bullet between your eyes but that’s pretty much it. The same goes for him. He doesn’t know you—other than that you enjoy lavender tea with heaping amounts of honey and cinnamon rolls. 

“I won’t, Tommy. No need to worry.” 

When you hear a loud knock at the door, you’re staring at your reflection in the mirror. Ever since the kissing mishap with Joel, you’ve been a bit more conscious of what you look like. You’ve never had a reason to care much about it before and you’re not sure you like being this aware of every little flaw now. 

Walking to the door, you’re not sure who to expect. You don’t have many friends other than Tommy and Maria, you’re already on alert, grabbing a small knife from the kitchen. Old habits die hard. 

What you weren’t expecting is to see a distressed Joel Miller. 

“Didn’t figure you knew where I lived.” 

“I’m the brother-in-law of the woman in charge, of course I know where you live. I know where everyone lives.” 

You lift an eyebrow and lean against the door frame, his eyes drop to the knife but fear is the furthest thing in his features, “Still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” 

“There’s a party at Tommy’s and he wanted me to invite you.” 

An involuntary groan escapes your lips, Tommy knew you didn’t want to go. The fucker. 

“And let me guess, I have to go because we’re a couple.” 

“Don’t give me attitude it was your idea, not mine.” 

He’s right, “Fine. Come in and I’ll change so we can leave.” 

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearin’ right now?” 

You try not to hide yourself behind the door as his eyes sweep you from top to bottom. Inherently, there isn’t anything wrong with what you’re wearing. It's just your typical jeans, sweater, and a dark green flannel thrown on top. You’re warm and cozy. 

“Isn’t this a party?” 

“What do you think they’ll be wearin’? Suits and fancy dresses?” 

“I guess you’re right, I’ll get my jacket.” 

Feeling warmer than normal, you lock the door and the two of you head to Tommy’s. “So, should we. . . talk about what we’re gonna do or say?” 

“Say?” 

Joel shrugs, “You know, if they ask us how we met or somethin’.” 

“I think half the town knows how we met, Joel.” 

“A’right, so our story is that I helped you down, had a couple of drinks, and decided we like each other?” 

“Sounds iron proof to me.” 

“This is fuckin’ stupid.” 

“I don’t see you coming up with any plans.” 

“Wouldn’t even be in this mess if not for you.” 

The harsh bite in his tone makes you take a step back without thinking. You’ve seen this man kill with ease. He’d admitted to regret leaving you alive. Fear is an irrational thing. It’s something that lingers and stays even when the initial threat has been evaded. You’re still afraid despite knowing you don’t have to be. You’ve been enjoying your little talks, you’ve been enjoying spending time with him. Internally you’re conflicted and confused. 

Joel slows down along with you, turning and checking just how far you’ve fallen behind. He stops and turns, eyes taking in the furrow of your brows, the running of your nose. You don’t flinch when he touches your cheek, his gloved hand soft against your skin. He’s so gentle. So gentle that it almost hurts. 

“I ain’t gonna hurt you. Promise,” he lets out a steady breath, fixing you with a leveled gaze. “I might not trust you or even like you, but I won’t hurt you.” 

Your eyes widen, heart thudding loud enough that you’re positive he can hear it. Without a word you nod, tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. Joel nods back. His hand deserts your cheek and he locks your arms together, tugging you along the snow. 

You believe him when he says he won’t hurt you. As foolish as that might be.

Two hours into the party and still all everyone can talk about is Joel and his new girlfriend. Even goddamn Maria had asked about it. Joel is still recovering from his sister-in-law’s interest in the matter. You were a definite natural in faking it. Unlike him, who was already exhausted from it all. It’d been a long couple of hours of holding hands, standing close, and kissing cheeks. 

He’s holding a glass of the finest whiskey he’s ever had since the world ended, surrounded by familiar faces and his brother. You had scurried off somewhere. To the bathroom, he thinks. Or helping Maria with organizing. He probably should’ve asked, but he’s not used to questioning people unless it’s Ellie. But since the two of you are “dating” he suppose he should’ve. 

“Yo Miller.” Joel fights the urge to groan as Wellington approaches with a raised hand. He slaps him on the shoulder, his cheeks and nose red and warm thanks to the alcohol. “You gotta tell me your secret.” 

Joel sends Tommy a questioning gaze, his bother only shrugs. “‘Bout what Wellington?” he sighs. 

“About catchin’ such a fine piece of ass.” 

Joel’s shoulders raise, nostrils flaring as anger boils in his gut, but before he can get out a word Tommy intervenes, “Wellington.” 

“What?” he slurs, turning to the younger Miller. “We’re all thinkin’ it. How old is she huh? Like half your age?” 

Joel feels sick when the man grins. Wellington ain’t lying, you are half his age. Realistically, someone like you would never go for him. An old man who’s lost so much in his lifetime. But of course, he can’t say that, he can’t say anything that might out them as liars. 

“Shut your goddamn mouth,” Joel grunts, pushing Wellington’s hand off his shoulder. “Or I’ll shut it for you.” 

“I’d say money but that don’t exist anymore,” Wellington continues. “So what is it?” 

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up—

“Joel?” 

Your voice cuts through the tension like a knife. Everyone who’s in-ear shot of the conversation stills, an icy cold wind enveloping all of them, including Tommy. Joel recognizes the look of worry in his brother’s eyes. The older Miller swallows thickly as he rips his glare away from Wellington—he’s surprised that despite the amount of alcohol in his veins he looks ashamed.

“Yeah, darlin’?” 

You shudder in a way only he notices. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Your body subtly going straight and then relaxing. He wonders how much you’ve heard, or rather if you heard. 

“I need some help in the kitchen, could you?” 

“Uh, yeah sure. Of course.” 

He ignores Tommy’s snicker and follows you through the crowd, away from the sight of Wellington and others. You stop at the threshold of the kitchen, not going in. You lean against the door frame and look away. “Sorry, I don’t actually need help. It just looked like you needed saving.” 

“That bad, huh?” 

“If looks could kill, Wellington would be dead thrice.” You say it so nonchalantly that he smiles, Joel mimics your stance and leans against the other side of the doorframe, leaving only little distance between you two. “What did he say?” 

So you didn’t hear. Good. 

“Nothin’ that you need to concern yourself with. He’s just buggin’ me, that’s all.” 

You raise an eyebrow, “Didn’t really look like it was just buggin’.” 

The subtle accent change at the end of your sentence makes him laugh, you shake your head but he sees the way your lips quirk into a smile. 

“You makin’ fun of me sweetheart?” 

“. . . Maybe.” 

“That’s the type of talk that’ll get you in trouble you know.” 

Your smile widens into a grin, “With whom?” 

“Keep it up and you’ll find out.” 

It’s been a long time since he felt like this. The enjoyment of the tug and pull. Heat spreads from the small of his back and reaches all the way to his groin. You must’ve had a couple of drinks before asking for him. You lean closer, your lips deliciously curled as mischief glimmers in your eyes. He wonders if you thought about the kiss. How close your bodies were that night. 

“Be careful Miller,” you say, rolling your tongue over each syllable. “Almost sounds like you want me to keep it up.” 

God, that he does. He’s starting to get hard. Without even thinking he leans a bit closer as well, tilting his head as if he’s about to kiss you. Your eyes flash with something expectant—

“KISS!” 

The delicate moment shatters with reality. You’re not flirting, you can’t, because technically you’re already dating. Joel hates the way you flinch at the sudden crowd shouting. His head whips towards them, only to see Tommy taking charge, he points to something above and both of your heads snap up like a cartoon. 

“Mistletoe,” he says. Lowering his gaze, he gives you a quick smile. “You know what that means, right sweetheart?” 

You roll your eyes, “I do, jerk.” 

“Brat.” 

He almost laughs at the way your lips quickly wound shut. The crowd is getting restless. 

“Don’t y’all have anythin’ better to do?” Joel quips. 

“Nope!” 

The echoes of kiss kiss kiss only get louder from there. Joel sighs, “I don’t think we can escape them.” 

“If I had a penny every time we had to kiss to appease a crowd. . .” you whisper. He expects you to continue but you don’t, instead you place your hands on his cheeks, holding him gently. You come closer and as does he, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you flush against him. 

You’re so soft. Softer than he deserves. 

Unlike the first time, he takes the lead. He pushes you until your back is pressed against the doorframe, he claims your lips with a need he fearfully admits he doesn’t have to fake. He squeezes your hips, the sound of the crowd awing them fading into the background. It’s just his lips that move, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to feel your tongue against his. To feel the quiver of your naked body as he fills you to the brim, kissing you and telling you just how much he enjoys being inside you. 

He swallows your tiny moans and whimpers, and as he breaks away, he pulls at your bottom lip with his teeth. You’re breathless when you meet his gaze, sharp eyes glazed over with a fog of arousal. 

Then, as the crowd claps, he presses the side of his face against your ear, “Just a taste,” he whispers and feels your tremble underneath his palms. “Of what’ll happen if you keep it up.” 

“That was one hell of a party,” you muse. You’re staring at the dark horizon, snow gently falling from the sky. Joel pushes a warm mug of tea between your hands. 

“It’s still goin’ on,” he says. 

“You’d die if you just let me live in my blissful bubble wouldn’t you?” 

“Sure would.” 

You let out a snort as he settles near you, your shoulders brushing against one another. You have to admit, it’s been a fun night—and not only because of the kiss. That was just a bonus. A very hot and steamy bonus. 

It felt too real to be fake. Too real to be nothing. Years you had been alone and now you were sampling what it meant to have someone care for you, to tease you. He doesn’t even know you yet you two fit together like a glove and a hand. Makes you wonder how different this could all have been if he hadn’t been Ellie’s father, and you hadn’t been a part of the Fireflies. 

“Oh good you’re still here.” The two of you turn to see Tommy, his cheeks a little flushed and his breath a little uneven. “I need to ask you two somethin’.” 

“What now?” Joel groans, prompting a smile from you. 

“You heard of the new family in town? The one with two kids?” You have no idea but Joel seems to know who they are. He nods. “We don’t have a house ready for them yet so I was thinkin’. . .” his eyes flicker between yours and Joel’s, your stomach going tight with worry. “You two can live together till we’re finished with the construction.” 

“What?” 

The question leaves your mouth before you can properly register. You turn to Joel but much to your surprise, he seems unfazed. 

“Just for a while,” Tommy says. “I just figured since you two are already datin’. . .” 

Joel ignores his brother completely to fave you, “Your call sweetheart.” 

Seeing him so calm makes you ashamed of your initial reaction. You’re not even sure why you reacted so brashly. It was a simple request. A logical one. 

“Yeah sure, that’s okay,” forcing a smile, you turn to Tommy. Joel’s touch is soothing behind you, hand rubbing small circles at the base of your spine. A welcome comfort. “Just let me grab my things and you can set them up tomorrow.” 

“You’re the best, pecan,” Tommy glows, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll give Maria the good news.” 

Joel’s hand deserts you almost immediately when his brother is out of sight. It makes your heartstrings tug. “You sure about this?” he asks. “It would be fine if I lived alone but Ellie is a curious one and she’ll figure it out if we ain’t convincin’ enough.” 

“In all honesty, I had completely forgotten about Ellie,” you let out a deep exhale. “But I guess that’s fine. I’m sure we can pull it off. It’s not like I could say no.” 

His gaze softens, “You could’ve asked to stay somewhere else.” 

“No. . . It’s fine, Joel. Really,” you crack a smile. “I feel like I should be asking if you’re alright with it. You’re the one with the problem with me being around Ellie.” 

“I’ll have my eye on you two,” he says a bit too quickly for comfort. 

Your tongue sours, “I’m not going to tell her anything.” 

Joel doesn’t say anything. Or even acknowledges that he’s heard you. He leaves you on the porch, following his brother’s footsteps, you’re left with nothing but a lukewarm mug of tea. 

Then you notice it’s lavender. 

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: pervy choso, implied chubby reader, you wearing a bikini/swimsuit,

despite how cranky you can get because of the hot weather, you do love summer more than you can admit. something about the sun beaming down on you, cold water tickling your toes, the laughter that is seemingly never endless during this time, makes you feel content.

you and your friends visit the beach on one of the hottest days of the year. its a spacious place, not filled with as many people as you were expecting there to be, but it's another group of guys there that mirrors your own group. they're all entirely too handsome for their own good, sweet and flirtatious as they offer a round of volleyball with your friends.

you stay back though, offering to watch everybody's stuff as you sit under the sun. its calm there; the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, your friends raucous laughter, their screams of fun. you lay back on your beach towel, your forearm resting over your eyes when you remember that you hadn't put on any sunscreen.

lazily, you reach over into your bag, digging around until you can find what you're looking for, squeezing some out on your hand as you lather your arms, stomach, and legs up. when its time for your back, you go to call one of your friends but hesitate. you don't want to interrupt their fun for something so small, so you snap your mouth shut as you try to scan the near area for someone to—

oh. is he apart of the guys' group? you think to yourself as you suddenly lock eyes with a very handsome, toned man. he's paler than ever, his dark hair wrapped up in two cute little buns on the top of his head, his eyes dark, his mouth pulled tight as he suddenly freezes when he realizes he's been caught.

"can you help me?" you ask kindly when the man finally blinks. you hold up the sunscreen in his direction with a smile and a tilt of your head, friendly. he only stands there for a few seconds before clearing his throat, crossing the few feet between you two as he stands before you.

"you're with that group, right?" you ask him, nodding your head over to where everyone plays volleyball. the man looks, his eyes wide, a little unnerving, before he turns back to you, nodding.

"yeah," he says plainly, sticking his hand out to shake yours. "here with my brother and some friends. I'm Choso."

you give him your name as well, before you hand off the sunscreen, flipping over onto your stomach without preamble. Choso hesitates for just a second, hopes you don't have eyes in the back of your head at how he ogles you. you're just so pretty, with your sweet smile and round ass, cellulite dimpling your skin, makes him have to adjust his hardening cock in his swim trunks.

he'd been watching you ever since you and your friends came on the beach. watched how they linked up with Yuuji and his friends, how you stayed behind, how pretty and soft your stomach looked with every breath you take. he can't believe he's so close to you now, he thinks, as he kneels over you, his knees on either side of your soft looking hips.

Choso's hands shake as he squirts the sunscreen into his palm, rubbing them together, breath heavy as he nears your skin. if he were to sink any lower, you'd be able to feel how his cock strains against the fabric, feel it rest over the curve of your ass. he restrains himself though, splaying his hands over your upper back as he slowly starts to massage the cream in. without thinking, he blurts out,

"your skin is very soft." he regrets it almost immediately, freezing in his spot over you, wonders if you'll start throwing a fit and push him off of you. but instead, you laugh, your eyes closed as you rest your cheeks on your crossed arms.

"thank you! I try to exfoliate often." you smile, eyes still shut as you sigh softly when he resumes rubbing the sunscreen on you. his palms are big and rough, as they massage it in, working over a knot you've had in your shoulder blade for entirely too long. you sigh when he kneads it out softly, body a pile of goo as Choso breathes entirely too heavy above you.

if he closes his eyes, he can imagine himself sinking right inside of you. your breathy little sigh of contentment as his tip kisses your womb, his hips snug against the curve of your ass. he can already see the way you'll look at him from over your shoulder, all low and seductive, pretty, smiling at him with a look that tells him to devour you whole.

"your hands are so nice." your voice brings him out of his fantasy, makes his jolt in place from surprise. "you ever think about becoming a masseuse?" Choso grumbles under his breath at the thought, hands toying with the back of your bathing suit as he tells himself to bite the bullet.

"never considered it. can I untie this?" he says it all in one breath, afraid that if he doesn't spit it out now, he'd lose the courage to do so. you still from under him, suddenly getting the feeling of being watched entirely too closely, of baring your jugular to a predator in the wild. but you agree nonetheless.

"uh, yeah, go ahead." you tell him quietly, barely getting the words out when he pulls the string undone. you swear you hear him sigh, goosebumps raising on your skin at the way he squirts entirely too much sunscreen on your back, the quiet groan under his breath when he rubs it in down your flank too, too close to your tits beneath you.

Choso inches further and further down, his hands gripping your waist as he kneads your skin. his cock hangs low with its hardness, barely skimming your ass, makes your eyes bolt open in surprise. but you don't say anything, just look over your shoulder at the man, whose focus is solely, solely, on working the sunscreen into the divot of your lower back, inching closer and closer to the top of your ass—

"hey, bro, come join us for a game!" a deep voice similar to Choso's rings out, suddenly pulling you both out of the trance you've fallen into. Choso's eyes snap up to yours guiltily, both of you stuck, unsure of what to do next. he's sure that you're definitely going to kick him off now, especially when you glance down and find his cock straining to get out of his swim trunks.

but instead, you signal for him to tie your top back up, licking your lips once as he shakily ties it up for you. "meet me in the unisex bathroom in a few minutes, okay? I wanna thank you for putting the sunscreen on my back."

and something tells Choso, that you'd like to do more than just thank him.

[tvseries-writings]

Heat Kills

Plot: Reader has an heatstroke caused by an intensive workout.

Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca x reader

You can't stand the heat; you’ve hated it since you were little, always. When summer came, you were happy just because school was over but, at the same time, you hated the forty degrees you had to endure every single day.

Then you became a professional soccer player and, having always played on teams up north, you never felt as hot as you did this season with the OL Reign. Although the Seattle Women's soccer Team has been a great benefit in your career, this scorching heat is truly terrible, especially since you are not used to it.

A small sigh leaves your lips as you grab your water bottle and tuck it into your backpack, ready to face a scorching workout in the ten o'clock morning sun.

"Good morning Bella, where are you going?" Carina hugs you from behind, her breasts pressing against your back as she fondles your butt with an amused smirk on her face.

"Car I'm on my way to practice and I'm already late ... as much as I would like to slam you against this table, unfortunately I can't."

You turn around, staying in her arms and kissing the tip of her nose with a smile.

Carina pouts, and after a few seconds, just long enough for her brain to work and understand what you've just told her, her gaze changes to a frown of confusion and concern at the same time.

"The weather alert has been issued, didn't you see it Bambina? You can't train in this heat, it's going to be 104° F out there..."

You sigh and shake your head slightly. You knew this conversation would happen, and you also know how it will end. Probably with a gorgeous, sexy Italian doctor very pissed off at you.

"Car, I can't miss another workout. Less than two weeks ago I was sick and couldn't train for almost a whole week, I can't miss any more days. I have to earn my place on the team, you know it's important to me…like this"

Carina shakes her head several times, hard. She tortures her lower lip, clenching it between her teeth, and although you find it very sexy, the particularly pissed off look on the Italian's face gives you pause to comment on how hot she is when she does this.

"You'll get sick if you run in this heat. They can't make you train with a weather alert, è sconsiderato e stupido. Cazzo."

Your lovely girl rants in her native language, and you foolishly fail to control yourself and let your eyes wander to the clock hanging on the wall behind the angry doctor.

You had never done that before.

"Are you really thinking you're going to be late? No way, you can't really think about going y/n. Ugh, who am I kidding? Of course you want to go, sometimes I think you're worse than Maya...you know what, fai come ti pare."

"Carina, wait-"

Before you can even try to stop her and reason with her, the brunette locks herself in your bedroom slamming the door and making the whole apartment shake.

You know her, you know that she just has to let the pissing go now. So, despite the knot in your stomach from the fight and with the excuse of giving her the space she needs, you bend down to pick up your duffel bag and then leave the apartment, stuffing your car keys into the left pocket of your shorts, ready to head to the soccer field.

.........................................................................................

After only an hour and a half of practice, you realize you've screwed up big time when you start to lose all feeling in your body and feel like you're floating on air. Your teammates are no better off than you are.

You cast a glance at Coach Harvey, praying that she will notice the terrible condition you are in but you doubt it. After all, she is sitting in the shade and with all this heat you doubt she is really watching you. At least, not today.

The ball is put back in the middle, after Clarke has scored one of her famous goals, and the coach blows her whistle. You run nonstop to get to Clarke's side; you cross the half-court line and are careful not to be offside as you pass the ball between you over and over again.

You don't know how but suddenly you are no longer in control of your body and your right foot ends up over the ball instead of to the side. In less than a second, you find yourself on the ground groaning in pain as soon as you hit the ground.

"Fuck."

You snort, wrinkling your nose and taking the hand offered to you without even understanding who is offering it to you. Octavia gives you a smile, although she can't really hide the worry on her face.

She helps you to your feet and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"You don't look so good, are you okay?"

Meanwhile, the other girls have taken the opportunity there to take a break and drink some water, and you don't blame them, especially considering that you still have another hour of training ahead of you.

Octavia Blake is many things but she is definitely not a quitter. Never.

"You're really hot y/n, are you sure you feel good?"

You don't answer her, you don't feel good at all, and you can't even understand her.

"I don't think Carina and Maya would agree, you know? I'll take you to them."

You don't really understand what she is saying, not at all. The heat clouds your mind; you run a hand over your forehead, you have the impression that you are dripping with sweat but actually you are not, your hand is completely dry when you pull it back.

Not good, not good at all. A cold shiver runs down your spine as you lean against Octavia making her support you even more and she is the one who supports you even more.

From that moment until she takes you to Station 19, you don't notice anything, just her shaking you from time to time as you go, calling your name several times as you continue to lose consciousness. The only time you realize you are at the station is when Andy and Vic help Octavia get you out of the car.

They’re probably calling your name but you can't answer; honestly, you don't even know how you are there, really.

You don't know how much time has passed, but you only begin to understand what is going on around you because of your Italian girlfriend's warm hands caressing your face.

"Bambina, bambina look at me. Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

Carina swipes a strand of wet hair from your forehead, bringing it behind your ear. The doctor pulls a small flashlight out of her gown, turns it on and holds it in front of your eyes while she holds your head still.

"Y/n, follow the light, honey. Follow the light, okay?"

You wrinkle your nose, and the nausea you have been feeling up to this point only increases as you are blinded by the flashlight.

You scan Carina with one arm, turn onto your side and vomit all the contents of your stomach onto the floor.

Carina strokes your back, trying to give you as much comfort as she can, while Andy shoves an IV of cold fluids into you.

"Andy, call Maya. I think the heat stroke is a lo worse than I thought. She's not even sweating..."

As soon as Carina sees Andy running down the hall to find your firegirl, she immediately turns to you and takes the thermometer out of Vic's hands. She sticks it in your mouth, even though you are not very cooperative, and waits for you to make the sound to check your temperature: 104° F.

Carina gasps and her heart stops for a few seconds; she is more than aware that such a temperature is very dangerous and could even make you convulse.

You start sobbing and try to reach Carina with clumsy and uncoordinated movements, seeking the comfort of a hug. You feel so bad that you do not realize what you are doing; it is as if you have no control over your body. Your confused state only makes the doctor more concerned.

"Bella we can't, your temperature is too high."

Carina bites her lip, trying not to cry. She wants to hold you in her arms but she can’t.

"Car..."

Carina feels her heart stop when suddenly your eyes roll back and your body is suddenly shaken by convulsions.

"Damn it, no no no. Come back to me, Bella.”

Carina turns you on your side, pulling up the arms of the cot and takes care of your head.

"Vic, give her a 12-mg Diazepam drip!"

Vic goes to the station's medical supplies in a flash and rummages around until she finds what Carina asked for. She prepares the solution and inserts the IV into your left arm, which Carina says is your best arm for targeting veins.

In less than three minutes your body has stopped moving. Carina pulls your hair back from in front of your face and leaves a kiss on your forehead before unwinding the IV bag a bit to check the speed at which the drug is being administered.

"Carina!"

Maya Bishop, Captain of Station 19 as well as your girlfriend, comes running up to you. Concern fills her blue eyes that you love so much.

"What happened? Andy told me you were with her but she didn't tell me what it was about..."

Maya takes your hand between her own wincing in shock when she feels how much heat your skin is giving off.

"Shit, she's burning up. We have to get her to Grey's Sloan."

Carina and Maya exchange a glances. Carina twists her lower lip between her teeth and runs a hand through her hair. Both you and the blonde know that this gesture indicates that the brunette is very worried about something.

"No, you know how much she hates Bella hospitals. We can't, we can't do that to her. Let's take her to your office and use your shower to cool her down."

Maya leans over to take you in her arms but Carina stops her, shaking her head firmly.

"You have to be very careful Maya, we shouldn't even be moving her but we need to get her temperature down quickly. She had a seizure and I'm afraid she may still have another one.”

Carina whispers, her voice breaking as she thinks back to the feeling of a few moments ago. Maya takes a deep breath; she doesn't think she has ever been so scared in her entire life. She barely nods, taking you in her arms with such gentleness that she is surprised herself. Maya walks down the corridor to the door of her own office; Carina opens the door for you, and as soon as you cross the threshold, she closes it again.

The blonde firefighter lays you down on her bed, paying special attention to your head as Carina kneels beside you. She puts two fingers on your right wrist to check your pulse while looking at the clock on the wall.

"Pulse is dropping, we need to cool her down now, Maya-“

"Shit, she's seizing. Maya, help me!"

Carina turns you onto your side, removing the pillow from under your head and being very careful about the arm in which the IV needle is still stuck .

"Maya, Maya I need you to focus amore mio. She needs you; Maya look at me" Carina groans in frustration and concern for the blonde, watching her stand absolutely still in front of this horrible sight, "Maya!"

The firefighter blinks a few times before recovering from her shocked state and jumping into action. She lifts everything around that could hurt you and helps Carina hold you on your side so you don't choke on your own tongue.

It takes a good three interminable minutes before the seizure is over and Maya and Carina's arms ache from the force they had to use to hold you down.

"We're running out of time," Carina says, starting to remove off every layer of clothing but your underwear before taking you into her arms. Maya looks like a machine, she does everything Carina tells her to do - like turn on the shower, for example - but her eyes are blank, the Italian knows very well that the blonde is not in a good headspace right now but now the priority, as much as it hurts her to have to necessarily choose between the two of you, is you.

Maya turns on the tub's faucet and waits for it to fill. Carina steps in and slowly and gently losers you into the tub. You gasp, your eyes jerking open as your body feels the excessive change in temperature. A whimper escapes your lips as you try to pull away from the icy grip but firm hands hold you down, whispering excuses you don't want to hear right now.

"N-no, f-cold. I-I don't want to."

Chills run down your spine, making you whimper softly as you try to pulls your girls closer to you.

"I know Amore, I know... Shh, it's okay. You'll get better, you'll get better."

Carina rubs your back, somehow trying to comfort you without giving you too much heat.

The Italian puts her hand on your forehead, feeling that your temperature has dropped a bit.

"Maya I'm cold, I'm cold, I don't want to do this anymore. Please, I don't want to do this anymore."

The fever makes you start cry and your body is shaken by sobs that only make you feel worse.

Her name spoken by you make out of the near catatonic state she has been in.

“Baby, you need to calm down, this is not good for you okay? I promise it will be over soon but this way you are putting to much strain on your heart love. Please calm down."

Maya takes your hand and brings it to her own chest for you to follow her breathing and you do, unconsciously and maybe out of habit, but you do.

Carina keeps an eye on your heartbeat the whole time; her fingers never leaving your pulse for a moment, and her heart only seems to start beating again only when your pulse slows down and becomes stable again, at least for your current condition.

More than twenty minutes pass in the freezing water before you are finally covered with at least a T-shirt and then placed on the bed in Maya's office. Under cooling blankets, contrary to what you would have liked. Your mind is clearer and Carina and Maya are very relieved about that.

"What happened?"

Your voice is barely more than a whisper. You are struggling to find the words and your mouth feels as if it is stuck. It is also exhausting to talk right now, you can barely move your head towards them to look into their eyes as you speak.

"Heat stroke, Octavia brought you here Bella. You've had two convulsive episodes from a high fever. It's down now, but you're not out of the woods yet, so you need to rest."

Carina strokes your face as she points to the IV in your arm. As soon as you see it, you panic. You sit up and scratch your arm to pull the IV out. Under normal circumstances, you would think before you act but now, the delirium of heatstroke is just flying the last neurons you had.

"No no no, the press will go crazy with this news. I can't stay in the hospital, I have to get out of here; an OL soccer player in the hospital for heat stroke, n-"

Maya grabs your face and, to your and Carina's surprise, slaps you. Not so hard that it really hurts, but hard enough to bring you back to reality.

Although shock, fever, and heat stroke cloud your mind, you recognize where you are in a few moments.

"Oh...we're in your office."

You place the hand you were about to use to remove your IV at your side and give them a small apologetic smile.

"It's okay Bella, now get some rest. I'd like to keep you here a little longer for observation. We’ll take you home tonight, if all goes as it should."

Carina leans over you and plants a kiss on your lips, followed soon after by Maya.

"Now Maya and I will talk, you rest. Oh, and don't even think you've escaped the lecture. It’s waiting for you as soon as you feel better.”

Carina smiles at you with a wink and then leaves the office followed by Maya. Not before the latter mimics you an "I love you" with her lips and mentally asks you to pray for her. Surely, Carina won't let her get over the slap she gave you a few minutes ago.

Hey, thanks for reading. I know it's not much and it’s not that good but it's better than nothing, right? Write a comment and tell me what you think. Have a nice day!

p.s: I wrote this because it's like thirty-five degrees in Italy and I'm dying :)

Buy me a coffee ☕️

Taglist: @mmmmokdok @chaekhan @blackhill2245 @melatonindaydreamz @foggytidalwavefun @sevnheaven @budoxinha @gayshyandreadytocry @lighthousekiller @m456300 @blitzar-3 @in-love-with-heda @idontknownemore @lesbianbabe @speedup500 @differentranchempathfestival @mebeingthatbitch @jemilyswife @yuleni18 @whyamihere2673 @reggierizzoli

[roadkillremi]

They're all Dead.

Stu Macher X Gn!Reader

Masterlist

Warnings : Language, blood, violence, mention of death, stabbing, mention of dead bodies, gaslighting, manipulation, underaged Drinking, stitches, knife, gun, mentions bullying

I do not support murder.

Summary : It's the party at the Macher house. You walked in on Stu and Billy killing Sidney. What now?

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." You mumbled. Billy sighed giving Stu a look. A tear went down your cheek blinding in with the blood on your cheek. Stu limbed over cupping your cheek giving you a wide smile.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine!"

"I told them to stay in the damn closet!" Billy yelled. You jumped when he yelled, Stu didn't take his eyes off you. He hated to admit it to your face but he liked it when you're scared. You tremble and whine, you desperately grab at him for help.

"I didn't think.." you looked down at Sidney's body. Stu moved your head away making you look at him.

"They weren't nice to you. Tatum would make fun of your clothes.. remember?" Stu said hiding his smile. Your bottom lip popped out a bit with a wobble.

"But.." Billy popped up behind Stu, "Randy would make sexist comments. You know how he was a pervert around you.". Billy said with a smirk.

"And Sidney.. you were always stuck in her shadow." Stu said.

"She didn't even like that you were with Stu." Billy added.

"Her mom also ruined your family. You poor thing, left alone with no friends. That's why I told Billy to keep you safe." Stu said holding his knife close to your chin.

"Look at 'em. They're gonna cry." Billy cooed. A tight knot in your stomach twisted, hot tears rolled down your face. Stu cupped your cheek spreading more blood on your face. His thumb gently moved smearing the blood in. You leaned into his hand, you found comfort in the warmth.

"Let them go." A voice blared behind Stu. Gale Weathers pressed a gun to Stus back, Stu smiled at you. He placed his knife in your hand before lifting his hands up. Gale grabbed your wrist pulling you behind her.

You knew you had to choose. It was now or never. Billy glared at you from the side of the kitchen.

"I'm going to kill you bitches! Then write a book and get out of this hellhole!" She yelled. You gripped the knife, your heart pounding throughout your chest.

"You're never gonna hurt them or anyone else again!" She continued. You stabbed her back causing her to arch in pain. Stu let out a laugh as Gale hit the floor. Billy walked over and grabbed the knife from you finishing her off. You flinched as her blood sprayed onto Billy. Stu hugged you kissing your head.

"Knew you had it in you, baby!". You looked at Gale's lifeless body, feeling a bit lifeless yourself. Billy walked over with a cup, "Drink this.". You grabbed it looking up at him.

"It's alcohol. I put melatonin in it so you'll pass out when the cops get here.". You held the cup close to you, "What about you guys?". Stu put his hands in the air, "We saved you from the killer!". You tilted your head in question, Billy went into the hallway. Stu moved his arms with excitement, "You're gonna love this!".

Billy threw Mr.Prescott onto the ground.

"We're blaming him." He said. You nodded, "What do I say when the cops question me.".

"Easy, you partied too much. Drank a lot, the killer cut your arm but you hid in the closet and passed out." Billy said.

"But my arm isn't cut.".

"About that." Stu said with a little smile. Billy grabbed the knife, "we can do this when you pass out. Lets get you in the closet.". You nodded following the boys upstairs into Stus room. You chugged down the drink and sat in his closet. Stu kneeled down to be eye level with you. He gave you a smile, "After this it'll be easy. I promise. Me and you, baby!". You smiled back at him soon passing out.

Lights seemed to flash in your face, you'd squint and try to turn away. You'd vaguely hear people talking around you. Nothing seemed to be in control or order. A plastic mask was placed over your nose and mouth.

You opened your eyes groaning, you were in a hospital. You sat up looking at the bandage on your forearm. You sat in total silence feeling pain wash over you. A stab wound was stitched up on your thigh and shoulder. You whined before laying back down, "Sorry about that.". You looked over to see Stu in a hospital bed. He smiled and waved, "Morning sleeping beauty!". You rubbed your eyes and groaned.

"this isn't a cut in the arm, Stuart!" You complained.

"Don't be mad at me. Be mad at Billy." Stu whispered childishly. You looked over at him giving him a stern look. Stu smiled, "Glad you're awake, it was getting boring.". You rolled your eyes, "I'm going back to sleep.." you whined. Stu huffed throwing an unused spork at you. You groaned trying to ignore him. A nurse and doctor walked in with clipboards.

"Good news, kiddos." The doctor said as he checked Stus oxygen levels. The nurse was on your side checking yours, "You two are free to leave once a parent or guardian gets you. What am I kidding you two are 18 you can leave today".

"Woohoo!" Stu cheered.

"But you gotta rest. And clean these stitches." The doctor pointed at the two of you with his pen. Stu's parents soon rushed in his mother smothering him in affection. Stu took in the overdue love from her. His dad didn't do much on the other hand.

"Are you mad about the house?" Stu asked pitifully. Stus mother cupped his cheek, "No honey, we paid to get it all fixed when you were here.". You blankly watched them, Stus mom looked over.

"Mom this is my partner." Stu said looking over at you. You never met her, it's not that you didn't want to. It's that she was never home, she smiled and waved.

"Ready to go, kid?" Stus dad asked.

"We have room for Stus partner right, hun?" His mom looked towards his dad. He nodded before his phone rang. He answered it leaving the room.

"You two get your things we'll be waiting." She said leaving. A nurse walked in taking the needle out of your arm to the patient monitor. You sat on the edge of bed looking at the tilted floor.

"What now?" You asked.

"Uh, we party! Go to the beach or Hollywood or college! They eat up that victim stuff." Stu said getting dressed carefully. You slid your clothes over the bandages carefully.

"Id like to learn how to surf." You said looking at Stu. He smiled, "Then we'll learn how to surf.". He walked over to you giving you a kiss.

"We can do anything now! No one can stop us. They're all dead." He joked.

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

firstly I LOVE your writing so so so much!!! so many of my fav jily fics are yours <3

#34 from the prompt list (“sorry, bad habit”) but it’s james fidgeting (messing with his hair clicking a pen idk idc u do u) and lily is annoyed with him with herself for finding it endearing & finally does something about it

from these prompts

It’s not that she never noticed it before.

Context, however, is everything and there is just simply a stark contrast between noticing it because McGonagall consistently points it out with a heavy sigh and a ‘for the last time, Mr. Potter, please wear your uniform with a sense of propriety’ and noticing it because Lily can’t physically make herself look away.

She’s not quite sure when her mind takes that sharp detour, though.

“Merlin, I’m knackered.”

Lily looks up from her book as he falls into the seat across from her. “You’re late.”

James grimaces apologetically. “Flitwick had me helping the firsties with—never mind. Sorry. Let’s get started, yeah?”

He wasn’t her first choice for essay partner, or her second or third for that matter, but he’s competent, which Lily supposes she should be grateful for. Honestly, she’s still trying to wrap her head around the fact that school has been back in session for an entire month and they haven’t gotten in a row even once.

James pulls his bag up onto the small table and begins haphazardly fishing through it for his own textbook and some parchment, then reaches up and gives a sharp tug on the knot of his tie, pulling it away from his neck. Lily’s gaze catches on the motion she must have seen him do a dozen times, but she’s never been close enough to notice the sliver of skin it reveals before and she’s certainly never found herself appreciating it.

She quickly files that away as information to never ever process and shakes her head.

“Yeah, let’s get…” She clears her throat and looks back toward her book. “Started.”

But once she starts noticing it—well. It becomes a bit of a problem.

The moment he walks into the common room, his hand moves to loosen his tie. As soon as he collapses onto the couch of their shared Heads’ Office. While he walks alongside her to Arithmancy. Every single day. Constantly.

“Blimey, the weather’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

Lily purses her lips to keep from smiling at the childish way James throws his hands up toward the sky the minute they step into the sunshine. It’s been a gruelling day of revising for both of them and she found herself not even able to muster a half-hearted excuse for why they shouldn’t take a break to go for a walk on the grounds.

“There’s just something about October,” he continues, sighing happily.

Lily opens her mouth to agree, but then she catches the flash of his hand—they’re not even fifteen steps away from the castle, but there he goes, the scarlet-and-gold-striped fabric slipping through his fingers as he makes quick work of the knot of his tie.

“Why do you always do that?” she finds herself blurting out.

He glances quickly over at her, his fingers freezing their motion. “Sorry,” he says, wincing, “bad habit.”

Lily just nods in response, not trusting herself to say something normal, and tries not to watch as he tugs the tie completely off and shoves it deep into the front pocket of his trousers.

October passes and Lily feels herself relax, because the Scottish autumn is on her side on this (and only on this, really). Hogwarts students spend the month of November adding more layers to their wardrobe, not removing them.

Lily has never in her life been so passionate about scarves.

“Most prestigious school in the wizarding world and they can’t bloody insulate the halls,” James whinges, blowing hot air into his cupped hands and rubbing them together.

Lily looks sharply away from that and ignores the little flop her stomach does. “That would compromise the ambience, Potter.”

“Of course. How can Hogwarts expect to maintain its honour if at least one student doesn’t die of hypothermia?”

Lily’s laugh is halted as they turn a corner and begin their portion of the patrol colloquially known among the other prefects as The Polar Vortex. This section of the castle seems to always be particularly drafty, and honestly, if Lily wasn’t eager to extend her time with James, she’d likely suggest they just skip it and head back to Gryffindor Tower.

As it is, though, she shivers involuntarily, her teeth clattering loudly together, unbidden.

“Merlin, Evans, here. Take—”

“I’m fine!” she says quickly, because, Jesus bloody Christ, he was reaching for his scarf.

“That hypothermia joke wasn’t a personal challenge, Lil. Take my scarf and—”

“I don’t want it!”

His next step falters and he turns slowly to face her, his face setting into a confused frown. “Why not?”

Lily feels her face begin to flush. “I just—I don’t want to be a…bother.”

James watches her for another moment, then a grin slowly spreads across his face. “Evans,” he says, unlooping the scarf from his neck, and turning to more fully face her, “you always bother me.” He gently drops the scarf around her neck, ignoring her protests as he tugs it snugly around the collar of her jumper.

Lily takes a breath, hating and loving the fact that the scarf smells exactly like him, but otherwise settles into a feeling of relief. That wasn’t so bad. Just because he removed his scarf doesn’t mean—

“Oh my God, are you serious right now?!”

James stops walking again, his fingers freezing in the midst of their mission to unknot his tie. “Er, what?”

Lily covers her face with her hands and tries not to scream. 

“Evans?” He asks, and that pushes her closer to the edge, because she can hear the concern in his voice. “Am I serious about what?”

“Nothing,” she squeaks, shaking her head, even as her hands remain covering her face.

“Ev-ans.”

“No, really, I—”

He gently tugs one of the ends of the scarf—his scarf—causing her to stumble toward him a bit. “What’s wrong?”

She allows her hands to fall and forces himself to look up at him. “Why are you even wearing your tie?” she mumbles.

“What? My…tie?” He frowns, deeply puzzled, then manages a half-shrug. “I dunno. Just forgot to take it off after lessons, I guess. Why?”

“You constantly mess with it,” Lily says. “Non-stop. Loosening it, untying it, taking it off, playing with it.”

“I told you,” he says sheepishly, “it’s a bad habit. I—”

“It’s infuriating!”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. “I’m…sorry?”

“A Lily Evans torture device, really.”

He opens his mouth again, but she beats him to it.

“It’s like, if every person who’s ever hated me attended a…a convention. And they had a chat about all the things that drive me spare, devising a plan to slowly make me go completely mental. This—,” she knows she’s mad and that she’ll hate herself later, but she doesn’t care because she’s been wanting to do this for months,—“this is what they would end up deciding on.” She reaches up and, in one swift motion, tugs on the knot of his tie, watching in immense satisfaction as it separates from the collar of his shirt, hanging limply across the grey fabric of his jumper. 

James stares at her, eyes wide, body completely rigid as she, Jesus, manhandles him like a fiend. 

“Sorry,” she huffs out as she draws her hand back to her own person, but she isn’t even sure she means it. “You just—it really is a terrible habit, Potter. Promise me you’ll work on it.”

He blinks. “I…”

“Good.” Lily nods. “Thank you for the scarf, by the way. We should be good to head back down now, yeah?” She takes off walking down the corridor, before he can verbally question her sanity or she can do something else truly mad like use the leverage of his tie—stupid, bloody tie—to bring his mouth down to hers.

[ovobawrites]

𝒢𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒 - 𝒯𝓇𝑒𝓎 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

I decided to publish this oneshot cuz i still like it! I wrote it a year ago for a oneshot collab book.

This contains jealousy, hurt/comfort, christmas and a gender neutral reader. I got the dividers from @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more over here on tumblr!

The smell of strawberry shortcake wafted through the air, the three-tiered cake resting on the counter top while Trey started preparing the icing. You watched him wistfully, his strong arms beating the air into the cream without even breaking a sweat. Winter was just on the horizon and soon it'd be...

Well for you it'd be Christmas, for the others it was just an exam week and the long-awaited holidays. Still, you wanted to celebrate somehow. Which led you to where you were now, watching your dear boyfriend ready the confectioneries for the upcoming unbirthday party. Might as well ask him while he was already baking, right?

"Hey Trey..." You swung your legs to and fro from atop the counter. Your boyfriend hummed distractedly in reply. "Do you think we could make a gingerbread house or something together?"

Trey halted his whisking, shoulders tensing ever so slightly. You already knew what he was going to say. Still, you waited with a glimmer of hope.

"Winter exams are just around the corner, dear, and with Riddle being so adamant on our dorm scoring high on the leader-board..." He trailed off.

"You'll be busy studying, I know. I just wanted to check if you had the time to." You plastered on a smile he'd never see, his back to you. "That reminds me, are we still having that study date tonight?"

A pause.

Ah. Again.

Trey turned around to face you with an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry, Riddle's-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it!" You had guessed. "We can always reschedule for later. You're a third-year and all! A busy old man!" Too many jokes for it to be genuine.

Still Trey chuckled obligingly, kissed you on the cheek, and went back to his baking. You sighed quietly to yourself.

At least you'd have Grim with you for Christmas.

"What's Christmas?" Grim asked you as you lied in bed, resting on your stomach while you told him about your plans for the holidays.

"It's a holiday in my world, a celebration." You explained softly, longing in your voice. "There's a lot of boring history behind it but essentially we give each other gifts on December 25th. The whole month's a holiday, really. My family and I would make gingerbread houses, decorate a pine tree together..." You trailed off.

"Sounds fun," Grim muttered, half asleep. "the Great Grim wants tuna as a present... a whole pile of it..." He snored softly.

You smiled, melancholic and wistful. "A Christmas with just you and me..." How lonely. It was stupid of you to hope like that.

You drifted off to sleep, unaware of Grim peering at you with worried eyes, a frown on his face.

The library was practically empty. Most NRC students would never study during a weekend, after all. Might as well get used to being alone for the winter break now. Grim was asleep on your lap once again, the cold weather making him more drowsy than usual. You sighed, leaning your head against your hand, absent-mindedly flipping pages in your (borrowed) history textbook. Hopefully you could convince Crowley to give you all that tuna he promised, otherwise you'd be spending your lunch money on tuna for the next few weeks.

The creak of the library door opening made you raise your head, curious to who had entered. No one you recognised. A couple, by the looks of things. Chatting quietly to each other, smiles on their faces as they walked to a table at the back of the room. You sighed again. Back to taking notes from the textbook then.

 And as you took the notes, a black knot started to furl up in your chest.

'Policies in the Queendom of Roses during 1635'

...

'Public reaction to Policies'

...

'Red Rose Uprising'

Flip the page of your notebook, blink and close your dry eyes for a moment.

'Establishment of a Democratic System'

...

'Reinstatement of the Monarchy'

...

'Reign of the Queen of Hearts'

...

You blinked slowly, feeling the tell tale signs of an impromptu nap creeping up on you. What would happen if you slept for a little while? You'd be woken up by the bell, and it's not like you had any plans before lunch anyways.

Close the textbook, pack away your stationary and put your stuff in your bag. Then you took off your blazer and bunched it on the table, resting your head on it.

(The soft feeling of a familiar coat being draped over you didn't register. Still, some subconscious part of you smiled in your sleep.)

You woke up when Grim shook you frantically. The bell had just rung to signal that it was time for lunch. You went to pick up your bag, but halted in your steps. Someone's NRC uniform jacket rested on your shoulders. A quick glance at the label told you what you already knew. It was Trey's.

You brushed your hands over the jacket, and your cheeks flushed ever so slightly.

"Ughhh, hurry up, (Y/N)! The Great Grim needs to eat!" The not-cat batted at you with his paws. "Come on! Let's eat! Now!"

"Right, sorry."

You quickly gathered your belongings and left the library, Grim curled around your neck and chattering away. You remained quiet, thoughts turbulent. Should you give Trey his coat back now? Or should you wait until he asks you for it? You wanted to see him but he was probably busy. Still. Maybe you should go to the Heartslabyul dorm after Grim has his fill of food...

"Yeah, yeah. You go talk to Trey and I'll do something else, like find those two bozos." Grim waved a paw dismissively before he brightened up. "Or I could go take some food from the-!"

"No." You pet his head lightly. "You know Riddle will just collar you again if he catches you stealing food, right?"

"Please, he's mellowed out! And I barely got to eat my lunch!" Grim turned pleading eyes towards you, fully aware that you saw him eat three times his body weight in carbonara.

"I'll only be talking to Trey for a bit anyways." You smiled bitterly. "He's busy studying with Riddle, or whatever."

Grim slumped over, and you caught a flash of something in his eyes. Pity? "Fine, but you owe me three cans of tuna, got that?!"

"Deal." You shook his 'hand' before you hurried off to find Trey.

You just wanted to go back to your dorm and study. As much as you loathed to admit it, you were still raw and open from yesterday's conversation. You didn't want to feel so vulnerable, but Trey had a way of making you feel such stupid things. Now where would you find your busy boyfriend...

Knowing Riddle, the two of them are probably studying together in the garden. You strided over, Trey's jacket carefully folded in your arms, held tightly to your chest.

A laugh you knew all too well. Looks like your first guess was right!

Still, better check in case you were just experiencing a brief auditory hallucination.

You peered around a rose bush, silent as a mouse and completely unnoticed. Trey and Riddle were laughing together, holding tea cups and carrying a light, inaudible conversation. There were no books on the garden table. Riddle said something, and Trey burst out into peals of laughter, face flushing in delight. You've never been able to get him to laugh like that. And with how the two were seated next to each other, barely any space between them, it looked an awful lot like they were on a...

A date.

Ah. So that's what's been twisting your guts this whole time. You're jealous. Of Riddle.

Another loud laugh from Trey, who looked at Riddle with such soft and loving eyes and-

You couldn't bear to see any more of this.

You left just as quietly as you came, Trey's jacket still tucked tightly in your arms. You immediately went to find Grim, you couldn't- you didn't want to-

You just wanted to go home. But you can't. So Ramshackle's the next best thing you've got.

You stared at the ground, hurrying to the Heartslabyul dorm's main building, not paying any attention to who was in front of you. So it really shouldn't have shocked you when you crashed into someone's chest.

"Oi, be careful- (Y/N)?" Deuce immediately switched gears, looking upon you with gentle concern.

"Sorry for bumping into you, Deuce." You said, "I was distracted."

"Hey, it's fine, don't worry about it-"

"Oh? What's this? Is Deucey bullying the poor, helpless Prefect?" Ace came over smoothly, a wicked grin on his face. "What would Riddle say if he saw you?"

"Shut up Ace!" Deuce sighed, then looked at you. Really looked at you. It felt like he was gazing into your soul.

You squirmed, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Um... do you want to say something?"

Deuce jolted. "No I-"

Ace sidled over to Deuce, throwing an arm over his shoulder. "Yeah, did you Deuce? 'Cause you were staring at (Y/N) for an awfully long amount of time. Trying to steal Trey's datemate?"

That's when Grim spoke up, jumping onto your neck in one quick pounce. "You better not be trying to mess with my henchman, Deuce... or else..."

"I wasn't!" Deuce cried out, looking awfully persecuted. "I just got lost in thought, you know?"

"Don't think too hard, Deucey~" Ace chuckled. "You might blow up the only two braincells you got left!"

"Like you have many braincells of your own, Ace." You shot back. "Grim, are you ready to go?"

He peered at you, pausing in licking his paw. "I was always ready to leave. I don't wanna catch these two's stupidity!"

"As if you aren't just as stupid as us!" Ace and Deuce yelled, the two grappling at each other in another fight that would undoubtedly get them in trouble.

"I'll see you guys in class on Monday!" You smiled and waved at the two as you walked back to the mirror. "Don't get into too much trouble this time, 'kay?"

"No promises!" Ace said, trapped in Deuce's headlock. "Ow- ow, that hurts you idiot!"

"They're gonna get collared by Riddle again." Grim said flatly as the two of you walked far away enough to no longer hear the boys' hissed insults and swears. "And were you not able to find Trey?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"You still have his jacket." Grim pointed out.

You looked down, a little shocked to see it in your arms still. "Oh, right. I forgot." You stepped through the mirror before continuing your conversation with Grim. "And yeah, I couldn't. Maybe he's in the library?"

"Do you wanna go there now?"

You sighed. "Not really, I'm a little too tired for that..."

"Well, you better have enough energy to cook me a bunch of tuna for dinner!"

"You got it, boss."

Soon enough, you were too busy to even think about Trey and Riddle and the horrible things you felt. Your hands were full from your three idiots making some dumb deal with Azul. Then there was staying at Savanaclaw for a few days, and you weren't even able to see Trey at that point. Instead, you told the boys to tell him at the dorms that you needed to cancel the few dates the two of you had planned.

And now you were stuck in the infirmary for a checkup after Azul's overblot, the ghostly nurse fussing over the whole lot of you after that whole ordeal. Luckily, no one was really injured, but you were forced into staying in the school infirmary for the night, again.

"Why does this always happen to me." You groaned, staring at the ceiling, Grim curled up on your lap. "I should have never gotten involved in this... I was so stupid..."

"Hey, at least Leona was able to get rid of Azul's dirt on hi- Mmph!" Ruggie writhed under Leona's hand, struggling to get free while laughing at the look on his face.

"We. Agreed. Not. To. Talk. About. That." He growled out, removing his hand from Ruggie's mouth.

Ruggie smiled innocently. "Did we? I might need a little something as a reminder-"

He was cut off once again. This time by the door slamming open. Trey burst into the infirmary, hair a mess and glasses askew.

He looked around the room frantically. "Is (Y/N) okay? I heard she was-" He looked at you.

"Hi." You croaked out, voice a little sore from yelling out commands to Grim.

He rushed over to you, nearly tripping over in the process. "Hey." He smiled, eyes worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my throat just hurts a little from shouting so much." Your stomach fluttered as Trey grabbed your hand with such care, thumb brushing over the back of it, rubbing gentle, soothing circles into your skin.

"There are... other people here... you know." Azul said, voice barely above a whisper. "I'd like to leave... the third wheeling to... Grim..." He coughed.

Ace and Deuce burst into laughter at that, Floyd and Jade following shortly after.

"It's so true!" Ace wheezed out. "Everytime they're on a study date... Grim's-" He took a deep breath, barely able to get his words out. "Grim's always there-" He laughed even harder, nearly falling off his bed.

Deuce managed to push past the laughter to speak. "He always says he's chaperoning- like he could stop Trey!"

"Nooo, really?" Leona smirked. "That's actually tragic. What does he think will happen?"

Even you laughed a little, throat hurting a little too much to actually laugh that loud. They were so lucky Grim was a deep sleeper. Trey just continued smiling and grasped your hand a little tighter, settling into the chair by your bedside.

"Do you want to bake something together, tomorrow?" He whispered, voice barely audible above the boys' laughter.

You perked up slightly. "A gingerbread house?"

He leant down to kiss you on the forehead. "Anything you want."

"Can't you guys cut out the PDA? Just this once?" Ace whined, sticking his tongue out in disgust.

You looked at Trey, knew he would indulge anything you asked of him, and decided you might as well cause a little more chaos while you were stuck here. "Can I have a real kiss?"

Trey sighed reluctantly, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "I guess..."

The shouts of disgust from everyone in the room only made you laugh harder.

You gasped as you took in the magnificent sight before you, "That's so many sweets!" You turned to Trey, who looked awfully proud for someone who claimed to care about dental health. "How did you get all of these?"

"I had a little bit of help." He smiled, before turning to the ingredients he had set out on the kitchen counter. "We should start making the dough first, put the cookies in the oven, and then plan out the decorations." Trey rolled his sleeves up. "How about you start with combining the wet ingredients, while I work on the dry ones?"

"Sure!" You took one look longingly at the rows of candy packets in front of you. "And I can definitely snack on the candies a little while we wait for the gingerbread to bake, right?"

A chuckle. "Okay, but you'll have to brush your teeth with extra care tonight."

"When have I not? It's Grim you have to be worried about..." You lightly kissed Trey on the cheek and went to wash your hands. "Time to bake!"

Trey sat on the chair next to you, automatically wrapping an arm around you to tuck you in close. "So were you thinking to make a traditionally-styled gingerbread house, or did you want to go for something more..."

"I thought it might be a little fun if we used the left over dough to make little gingerbread versions of our friends!" You said, leaning into your boyfriend's warmth. "I bet Ace would bite cookie Deuce's head off in a heartbeat."

The soft rumble of Trey's laughter. "Cater would love it, he'd keep gingerbread-him alive for as long as he could. He'd probably spam his magicam feed with the amount of photos he'd take."

You giggled in turn, basking in the comfort Trey brought you. A lull in the conversation. Before.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Trey asked, eyes staring at the wall.

You paused. "It wasn't intentional." Both of you knew there was a reason for it.

Trey remained silent, an indication that he wasn't going to pressure you into talking about this. But he'd like to know.

You twisted your hands in your lap, not sure what to say. 'I've been jealous about you being close with your childhood friend?' like that'd go over well. "It's just me being stupid, that's all." You kept your eyes fixed to your hands.

Trey held you tighter. "If it bothers you, it's not stupid."

Even now your face flushed. "I..." Butterflies flooded your stomach. "Promise you won't get upset?"

"I promise."

"It's- I'm- The thing is I-" You sighed in frustration, stumbling over your words like a child. "I saw you and Riddle that day and it-" You started to pick at the skin around your nails. "I felt... jealous, okay?" Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes. You didn't know why you felt so upset, but your eyes burned nonetheless and the pit in your chest grew larger.

A beat of silence. Another.

Trey removed his arm from around your shoulder and you automatically flinched, shutting your eyes out of fear. You didn't want to see the look of disgust on his face.

Trey grasped your hands in his, stopping you from trying to make your fingers bleed. "I'm not sure why you feel jealous, but it's not something silly. I promised I wouldn't get mad at you, and I'm not." You opened your eyes, and he let go of your hands for just a moment to brush away your tears. "You know..." Trey looked away, the tips of his ears turning red. "I get jealous too, sometimes."

You squirmed your fingers in his grip. "Really?" Wait. "Of who?"

"Of Leona, and of Floyd, and-" Trey cut himself off. "A lot of guys. It's irrational, but it's something I can't help feeling." He snorted, and turned to fully face you. "That's one of the reasons why I kissed you in the infirmary, you know. I just wanted to make sure everyone could see that we're dating."

Ah. "Me too." You said in a hushed voice, cheeks feeling a bit warm. "I guess we were both being a little stupid, huh."

"At least we can be stupid together." Trey smiled, kissing your hands gently.

You couldn't hold back the peals of laughter. "That's- that's so cheesy." You wheezed, nearly falling over.

Trey joined in, pulling you up into his arms and pressed his forehead against yours. And for the first time since you arrived in this Twisted Wonderland, you felt at home.

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 15

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 4.7k

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

I drew inspiration for the story of the mating bond from the song "The Origin of Love" featured in the musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch." Whenever the topic of the mating bond arises, this song comes to mind, and I extend my heartfelt gratitude to its creator. It never fails to move me to tears, and I am deeply thankful for its presence in my life. If you'd like to listen to the song, here's the link: The Origin of Love

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

As the cabin continued to be repaired, you found more time to wander into the woods, venturing far enough to need a tent, which you packed up and camped overnight in. About a day and a half’s walk from the cabin was a small village where lesser fae lived. Though small, it teemed with life, and the fae welcomed you warmly. None were familiar with the cabin you now called home, but they were eager to help with supplies to fix it up. An older fae female named Bettina, with long, flowing grey hair braided with flowers, traded you vegetable sprouts for an afternoon’s work in her garden. Another young woman with sunburnt cheeks and a babe strapped to her back traded you new fabrics for your collection of books.

Mortus, the village craftsman, was more challenging to trade with. He wanted nothing you had, but he was the keeper of glass panes and treated wood planks. He was an older fae male, his face weathered from harsh winters, yet he retained the youth of someone who had spent his life bathing in lakes and galloping through meadows. Knowing you couldn’t carry much through the woods, you promised to return with something of value to trade.

Returning home with your new items, you dropped them in the cabin, which remained untouched since you had left, and parsed through your bag. You found a set of hunting knives, many much too large for your purposes. The serrated one left your stomach in knots as you pushed out the memory of Anthea’s death. You wrapped them in their leather bindings and set back out to trade them. Mortus was happy with the trade, and upon your return, he packed a mule with the items you had requested. He threw in the mule because you had baked him five different breads with the fruit from the nearby bushes. He noted the mule was old and worthless, but you didn’t mind the company. You lovingly named him Clover, as he seemed to love munching on the leafy greens for hours on end. Though the day-and-a-half trip took three days due to Clover’s stubborn need to stop at every possible water source, you didn’t mind the company.

While you despised the life you had lived in the mountains, you didn’t mind the skills that came with it. You knew how to fix and mend without missing a beat, maximizing your use of nails and learning to use tree sap to seal wood slats. Within a few weeks, the cabin was almost livable. You even took an entire day to build Clover a small pen with branches, sticks, bark, and sap, hanging an oil lamp from the ceiling of the covered plank landing you had made. Clover merely watched as you dropped a pile of wood on your foot, cursing every word that came to mind as you hopped up and down. He just chewed his flowers and grunted at you for disturbing his peace and quiet.

By the time summer was in full swing, you had returned the cabin to its former glory. The roof was patched, and the glass panes of the windows were replaced with various colors. Mortus had given you the colored glass pieces at a cheaper price as he had a hard time transporting glass to and from Velaris. He mentioned going to the market every six months and offered to take you with him, but you politely declined. Your life was here now.

Though your skills in furniture building were limited, you managed to fix up the old rotten chairs for the kitchen table and crafted a small bedside table for the upper loft. Your biggest feat was creating a makeshift mattress from dried weeds and extra fabric. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was much better than sleeping on the hardwood. Your garden bloomed nicely, with zucchini and squash coming up in large batches. Berries from surrounding bushes were a happy addition to most meals.

You even conquered your squeamishness about trapping animals. You caught a few squirrels and rabbits with traps the village children taught you to create. While you still cried each time you landed a final blow, you used every part of the animal, even fashioning sewing needles from their bones to trade with the village females. You visited the village once every few weeks and became well-liked, with villagers storing items for your next return.

Your life seemed blissful. Though you couldn’t rid yourself of your mate, who still tormented you, you felt a sense of peace and self-sufficiency. However, you found it odd how shadows seemed to come and go within the cabin some nights. When evening turned the room deep purple, and you lit the oil lamps, shadows fluttered about with a mind of their own. While off-putting, it happened frequently enough with no ill effects that you almost forgot it happened at all.

In the heat of mid-August, you made another trip into the village and were met by a fae male who seemed to have taken a particular interest in you. Kai, a male about 20 years your senior, with a mop of brown hair often falling into his eyes, often accompanied you through the village, helping carry your supplies which he tied to the ever-resilient Clover. Kai had a kind face, speckled with freckles and crooked teeth, but his green eyes held nothing but kindness. He was strong from years spent working with his father chopping lumber to sell to craftsmen in the city. Kai was always willing to walk alongside you and asked after you constantly.

As you exited the cottage of Meriam, a fae female with five young children who often traded your baked goods for dried cotton, you found Kai running his hand over Clover, who seemed to almost roll his eyes at the interaction. Kai looked up at you with a lazy smile. “Hey.”

You bounded down the steps, your new boots slightly too large but lighter than your old ones. “Hi,” you smiled back.

“How are things?”

You tied the cotton sack to Clover, Kai handing you the lead. “Things are good. Just getting some stuff.”

“Want some help?” Kai asked.

You smiled, appreciating his consistent offer. “Sure.”

The two of you wandered down the dirt road, chickens running amok underfoot as Clover huffed, nearly stomping on one.

“How are things for you?” you asked him.

Kai nodded, “Good. Fished this morning, got a fairly good catch, lots of trout.”

You congratulated him on his catch.

“I’m going to cook them up tonight, if you wanted to stay for dinner.”

You considered the offer, rarely staying past early evening to make it to your first clearing to set up camp. “I don’t think I can. I have a long way home.”

Kai shrugged, his hand resting on Clover’s shoulder, which twitched away horseflies. “You could stay the night,” he offered.

You laughed, “I don’t want to put anyone out.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Kai responded. “You could stay with me. I mean, I’m offering you dinner.”

“Kai, that’s very kind of you, but—” you started.

“I’m serious, Y/N. It’s no trouble at all. Plus, then you can finally taste my fish fry instead of just hearing me brag about it.”

You considered it for a second, the back of your head ringing with uncertainty. You hadn’t slept much the last few nights, and the exhaustion was catching up. You might sleep tonight unburdened by your mate. You looked up, catching Kai’s hopeful eyes. You had declined every other offer he had made before, at least five different times, and yet his offer came up each time.

You laughed slightly, “Sure.”

Kai nearly jumped with excitement. “Really!?” he squealed out, regaining his composure. He cleared his throat, looking straight ahead. “That’s great. That’s fantastic.” He peeked over at you, and you smirked at him.

“If this fish tastes awful, though, I’m never letting you live it down,” you joked.

“You’re going to melt over it,” Kai promised. Smiling widely, he added, “Meet me in an hour?” You nodded, and he hurried off between two cottages. You shook your head, laughing to yourself. Kai knew so little of the world and seemed to have such a sense of childlike wonder. You often found him more like family than anything else. Or at least more like the odd sense of family you had created for yourself. You spent the next hour bargaining with another female who seemed unhappy with the length of your stitches in a quilt you had been working on to trade for a new sack of flour, but you finally convinced her to make the trade, promising that you would up your skill level before the next time you saw her. 

You made your way to Kai’s cottage, set farther back up on a plank platform. Tying Clover to the railing, you walked up the stairs where Kai met you at the door before you could even knock.

“Hi!” he greeted eagerly.

You smiled, “Hi.”

Kai stood there for a moment, basking in his smile before remembering to let you in. “Oh,” he stepped back, waving his arm. “Please, come in!”

You entered his small cottage, smaller than your own. A mattress was pushed into the back corner, various axes and tools were strewn about on the floor in a pile. In the middle of the room, a blanket was set on the floor with a plate of cooked fish in the center, surrounded by plates of rice, beans, cooked squash, and berries.

“You outdid yourself,” you noted, gesturing to the blanket.

Kai stood behind you, his cheeks reddening slightly. “Oh, I, uh, I don’t have a lot of company, so I just…” he stammered, “I don’t have a kitchen table, so I thought we could do it picnic style.”

You chuckled lightly, “That’s very sweet.”

Kai’s eyes brightened before he gestured to the blanket, “Please, sit.”

You did, and he hurried to the shelves next to the stove, pulling down a bottle and popping the cork off. Sitting across from you, he handed you the bottle. You pressed it to your lips and tasted the sweet blueberry wine, its tart flavor tightening the back of your mouth as you swallowed, nearly moaning with delight. You licked your lips slightly before handing the bottle to Kai, who took a drink himself.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had summer wine,” you said.

Kai took another long drink before handing it back to you. “I’ve been saving it. I got it last time I was in the city and wanted to wait for a special occasion.”

“I’m the occasion?” you asked.

Kai smirked, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He paused. “But I guess so.” He brought a fork to the fish filet still steaming on the platter and put it on your plate. “Here, try that.”

You took your fork, stabbing it through the meat that flaked away easily. The buttery smooth texture and light citrus flavor swirled on your tongue. You let out a moan, “Okay, you were right. This is delicious.”

Kai smiled, taking a bite of his own. “I told you.”

Greedily scooping another mouthful, you asked, “Where did you learn to cook like this?”

He swallowed his bite, “My mother taught me. We’d always get a big catch of fish, and then she would make this whole meal for the village.”

“I’ll have to thank her for teaching you the next time I see her,” you noted.

“Oh gods, if you ever tell her, she won’t stop talking about it. She loves you,” he laughed back.

You nodded lightly, smiling into the bite you took.

Things were always easy with Kai. He never asked questions that made you uncomfortable. He never seemed to want anything more than your time. You could joke with each other, and conversation was effortless. Time moved slower with him. The night waned as the sun set, the two of you finishing the entire plate of fish and all the sides. You both laid on the blanket, sprawling, looking up at the ceiling, laughing through hiccups as the fae wine spread through your bloodstreams.

____________________________________________________

“I swear,” Kai laughed out, “I’ve never seen him more angry.”

You coughed out a laugh, sitting up slightly. “He chased you naked through the woods?”

Kai closed his eyes, pressing his palms into them as he heaved out laughter. “I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”

“Why did he think you stole his clothes in the first place?”

Kai threw his hands up. “Fuck if I know,” he laughed. “He had it out for me from the beginning.”

“So what happened?” you asked, slurring your words.

“I climbed a tree, and he lost me,” he laughed. “He just wandered around, dick to the wind, threatening to skin me.”

You laughed at the sight of one of Kai’s friends, Liam, who often was the butt of jokes in the village but had grown into a handsome male lusted after by other village females.

“What happened after?” you asked.

Kai turned to his side, propping his head on his hand. “I waited until he left, and then when I got back home, he had thrown all my clothes into the trees.”

You guffawed, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You took the bottle of wine and brought it to your lips but found it empty. You turned it over and shook it, a sad frown on your face.

“Gone?” Kai asked.

You nodded.

Without knowing why, you let out a loud laugh, laying back as the bottle hit the floor. Kai smiled and started laughing too, the two of you almost howling as he looked at you. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

You managed to push out between laughs, “Your face!”

“What about my face?” he laughed.

“I can’t look at you without laughing,” you cried out, covering your own.

“What, am I that disgusting?” He punched your shoulder.

“No, you just—” you wheezed, looking at him again.

“What?” he asked, smiling widely.

You turned to him, your lips trembling as you tried to hold back laughter.

“You’re just looking at me?” Kai said.

“You have a silly face.”

Kai smiled slightly. “I have a silly face?” he taunted back.

You nodded, laughter bubbling up again.

“You’re so drunk,” he laughed.

“You’re drunk!” you pointed a finger, slightly off target.

“I know I’m drunk,” Kai responded, “and so are you. And you keep laughing at me because you’re cruel.”

“I wouldn’t be so cruel if you didn’t have such a face,” you laughed, drawing a lazy, squiggly circle around his face.

“I’m glad you find my appearance so amusing!” he laughed again, lying back on his back.

The two of you sat in a soft silence, still slightly gurgling out laughter. 

Kai turned toward you, and you giggled, tears streaming down your face. “Are you done laughing at me?”

“Are you done looking like that?”

“What do you want from me, Y/N?” He chuckled. “I can’t change my face.”

“Then I guess I’m not done laughing.”

You turned to Kai, who smiled at you as you giggled, your hands resting on your stomach, rising and falling with your laughter.

“You’re a mystery,” Kai whispered.

“Ooo, spooky,” you responded, raising your fingers and wiggling them slightly.

“No, really,” Kai said. “You come out of the woods one day, say nothing about where you’re from.” He gestured to the fish. “You steal from us—”

You cut him off, “I bartered!” You laughed.

Kai laughed with you, continuing, “Okay, you participated in barter and trade, and then you disappear into the woods. Three weeks later, you come back up here demanding more and tell us nothing of who you are.”

You tried to hold back another laugh, looking at him as Kai raised himself from the ground to sit up, his legs crossed as he leaned his head against the wall.

“What do you want to know?” you asked.

“Anything you want to tell me. You can tell me whatever story you want, just tell me a little about the mysterious female in front of me.”

You hoisted yourself up, still laughing lightly. You swiped your finger through the juice of the berries in the bowl and sucked the sweetness from it. “Well, I was born from a dragon.”

“Obviously,” Kai said, “explains the scales and fire-breathing anger.” He joked.

“Of course,” you said, “and I spent my days plundering the cities of Prythian, wreaking havoc on innocent families, and flying to mountains to protect my treasures.”

Kai smiled and nodded. “And then you were cursed by a wizard?” he asked.

You shook your head, wagging your finger. “No, no, no, a witch. It was a witch.”

“Ah, yes,” he said. “A witch cursed you to be a female for the rest of your life.”

“Cursed to live in the woods for the rest of my days, never to know the speed of the wind and the glimmer of gold.”

“A tragic tale, to be sure,” Kai smirked.

You feigned a frown. “I cry myself to sleep every night.”

Kai smiled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

You looked at him, his peaceful face, and felt your inhibitions lower slightly. Pushing back the incessant pounding of your mate with it, you traced the floral patterns of the blanket and cleared your throat. “No, I—” you coughed, “I was born in Velaris.”

Kai opened one eye to look at you. “A city girl,” he smirked jokingly.

You let out a small giggle. “Not for long. My mother took me out of the city when I was still really young. We found a village in the woods, kind of like this, and she raised me there.”

Kai opened both eyes and jostled his feet. “What about your father?”

You shrugged.

“He’s a bastard?” he asked.

You shrugged again, a smirk on your face as the alcohol's warmth tingled in your toes. “Don’t know, never met him!”

Kai looked at you incredulously. “You don’t know your father?”

You wiggled your nose, numb from the wine. “My mother said he wanted nothing to do with us.”

Kai looked at you more seriously. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh,” you slapped his leg playfully, “don’t get sappy. I don’t know the guy, so it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.”

Kai started to giggle again. “I guess that’s true. Can’t miss what you don’t know.”

You started laughing again too. “Besides, what if he’s ugly?”

Kai guffawed, pushing tears away. “Then that would explain your ass face.”

You punched him in the thigh, and he cried out, “Ow, fuck, reign it in.”

“Pussy,” you joked. Kai rubbed his leg and smiled at you. “Sorry,” you apologized.

“Well, now you owe me, as I’m wounded. So how did you get here?” Kai asked.

You felt the words fall from your mouth faster than you could stop them. “I met my mate, who was sent straight from hell,” you pointed down to the ground, “and he was so fucking mean and took everything so seriously.” Kai’s face tightened slightly. “So I ran away from him, and I watched someone die, and then I met the High Lord of the Night Court, nice guy actually,” Kai seemed to straighten slightly. “And then I said goodbye, and went into the woods, and now I’m here.”

Kai looked at you, a serious tonal shift. “You have a mate?” He stammered, and got out, “The High Lord?”

You nodded, swaying slightly as you pointed to your head. “Still can hear him up here.”

“Y/N—” Kai started.

“Ugh,” you said, leaning back, “if you’re one of those traditional fae with a stick up their ass that thinks you have to stay with your mate, I don’t wanna hear it,” you slurred.

Kai leaned forward slightly. “No, no. I guess I just, I didn’t think that mates could be cruel to each other.”

You laughed slightly. “Oh, you are very wrong.” Kai paused, unsure of what to say. “You don’t need to pity me,” you said. “I should have seen it coming. He was shitty before we accepted the bond. I don’t know why I thought it would change after we were mated.” You picked a hangnail from your thumb.

“You’re brave,” Kai noted.

Kai watched you with intense curiosity as you shook your head, turning the corners of your mouth down. “I was desperate. Bravery didn’t have anything to do with it.” Kai didn’t respond, his eyes encouraging you to continue. “When I was a child, my mother would tell me stories about mates, about fae who loved each other so deeply they felt each other’s souls dancing with their own.” You looked at the ceiling, imagining the tales your mother spun. “These fae would spend their entire lives looking in the mirror and only see half of themselves looking back.” Your eyes traced the beams above you. “And then one day, they would find their mate, and suddenly,” you snapped your fingers, “the world was whole, and every piece of you suddenly made sense.”

Kai leaned forward, captivated. “She’d tell me how colors would be more vivid, food would taste better, heat would feel hotter and cold would feel colder, and the world would feel suddenly so much larger and yet so small.” You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “She would tell me this story about how, long before the world was as it is now, where clouds were made of fire and the mountains were tall enough to scrape the sky, long before the fae existed, there were these creatures who roamed the world.”

Kai’s eyes widened with interest. “Some of them looked like two males sewn up back to back, and those were the children of the sun. And the children of the world were two females meshed together. The children of the moon were a male and female. These creatures, they would spend their days talking, reading, and learning about the world around them. They were so happy to be alive. Every day they would thank the sun or the moon or the world just for being alive.” You envisioned these beings, with four arms and legs, wandering around the barren wasteland of the world, content with each other.

“And then,” you continued, “the gods grew jealous of the bond that the creatures had with each other. They never knew loneliness, sorrow, or anger; they had no fear.” Kai listened intently, shifting slightly to lean forward on his arms. “The gods worried that the creatures would disobey them and that if they had no fear and no worry of loss, they wouldn’t hesitate to battle them. The more the creatures talked, the more they began to question the gods' power over them. So the gods decided they would split the creatures into two, just cut them down the middle.” You made a slashing motion with your hand. “And so the gods made this plan, and they filled the sky with fire and ice, and they struck fear into the hearts of these creatures. As the fire rained down, they ripped the creatures apart with giant swords. When they were all separated, they blew a giant windstorm through and scattered the creatures and their partners across the world, threatening that if they ever defied them again, they would split them again, and they would have one arm and one leg.” You laughed slightly at the image.

“My mother would say that as the creatures tried to continue to live, they spent their lives roaming the earth searching for their other half. When they had children, and time continued on, they died out, but their children still searched for the other half, like that need was buried deep inside them. As the children had children, and their children had children, and then at some point, they gave birth to the fae. We carry that same need to search for this other half. And that’s our mate. When we find them, and that bond snaps, it’s because we have finally found our other half, and it’s a tiny act of defiance against the gods who taught us to hate, fear, and be angry. But also taught us to know love. She called it the origin of love”

Kai sat back, absorbing the story. “That’s...incredible,” he said softly. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”

You smiled, a bittersweet expression crossing your face. “My mother had a way of making everything sound magical.”

Kai reached out and gently touched your hand. “She gave you a beautiful gift with those stories.”

You nodded. “I think my mother just needed something to hold onto. I think...” you paused, “I think she was a very broken woman. And that if she could find this one piece of herself then everything would come together and be fine.” You felt a tear run down your face. “She would always tell me that if I found my mate someday, the world would be right.” You brushed the tear away, the alcohol still bubbling in your blood. “So when I met my mate, I just accepted the bond right away. I didn’t even think twice about it. I didn’t think the bond could be wrong; I just thought that if I loved him hard enough, he would be kind. Or that if I was his missing piece, it would just take some time for him to settle.” You shook your head, sniffling slightly, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s just a stupid story. She got it wrong.”

Kai scooted closer to you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You shrugged. “No reason to apologize. I was a child. I was a child when she told me that story, and I was a child when I accepted that bond. And now I have to live with that choice.”

Kai shook his head, looking downwards. “Does he know?”

“Who?” You asked, looking at Kai.

“Does your mate know where you are?”

You shook your head. “If he did, he would have come to take me back by now.”

Kai sat in silence, as did you, staring at the ceiling, trying to tame the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You said you met the High Lord? Is there nothing he could do?” Kai asked.

“I didn’t tell him,” you paused. “It wasn’t his concern.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You shouldn’t have to live with this,” Kai pleaded.

“It was a foolish mistake. And believe me, I’ve looked into ways to split the bond. It’s not feasible.”

Kai sat for a second. “And you can still feel him?”

“Every day.” You blinked away another tear. “I can feel him scraping the inside of my mind, trying to get me to come home.”

“Do you talk to him?” he asked.

“I used to. Now I’ve stopped altogether.”

Kai nodded. “It’s not fair.”

You chuckled. “Out of all the unfairness in the world, my mated mistake is the least of the problems.”

Kai shook his head. “You’re allowed to be angry. And you’re allowed to say it’s not fair.”

You raised your brows. “I know. And I am angry. But I’ve seen a lot more hurtful things than to wallow in my own suffering anymore.”

Kai crawled over to you, positioning his chest slightly above your own. “Your suffering is important to me.” You looked up at him, his hair hanging down in his face. “I may not know it myself, and I may not be able to feel it, but never in a hundred lifetimes do you deserve to be tormented.”

You opened your mouth slightly, but Kai cut you off. “I don’t want to hear you deny it. I care about you, and I wish it could be different.”

“It can’t,” you said back.

“But it doesn’t mean I can’t wish it for you. Even if you’ve stopped.”

You smiled up at him, as his green eyes traced your own. Kai didn’t say anything, merely gazing down at you, his eyes softening slightly as he took one hand and ran his fingers through your hair. And then, without thinking, you started to laugh again, uncontrollably. Kai simply rolled his eyes and rolled off you onto his back.

“You’re a child,” he scolded you. You continued to laugh until your stomach ached and at some point, Kai joined in on your laughter, bellowing out joy until the late hours of the night.

To my lovely readers, I'm not apologizing for writing men into my world that I would throw myself at immediately. Throwing feminism to the wind, I will drop everything to wife that man up. And yet, I warn you to not get attached, because the only person who can hurt you is yourself... and also me..... @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006

[jeonfiles]

sweetest apparition 01│ jjk

pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader

genre: angst with a bit of fluff and a bittersweet ending (and the tamest smut you’ve ever read)

synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse

wc: 12k oops

a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol

++ started writing this in 2021 and it took me so long to finish

masterlist │ my cc

14 days

A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.

Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.

His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.

No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with two ten thousand won bills paper-clipped inside.

Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.

Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.

13 days

The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.

You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.

The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.

A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.

His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.

"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.

"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.

"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.

Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.

He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.

Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.

He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.

"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.

"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.

"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.

You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."

When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.

"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.

His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.

The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.

He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.

A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.

You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.

You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.

12 days left

The next time you see Jungkook, it's no different from the first, he's in yet another pitiful situation, nervously picking up all the books he had just dropped on the ground when crashing into Moonbin, another sleaze who has tried it with you.

"Watch your step dweeb," Moonbin growled, placing a foot on Jungkook's shoulder, pushing him down so his head hits the gravel.

Poor Jungkook groaned in agony, throbbing pain as he rushed to pick up the rest of his books, muttering sorry over and over again.

"Moonbin, what the fuck is your problem?" You stepped in, his saving angel. God had sent you to aid him, he was sure of it. "What has he ever done to you?" You spat, standing between the two boys.

Moonbin was a good 6'3, his height a little intimidating, yet you didn't budge. "Y/N-ah, seriously, stay out of it." His expression softened at the sight of you, and it only made you even angrier, stepping with full force on his foot, making him yell in agony, the little heel crushing his toes.

"Jungkook is my friend, and you don't mess with my friends." You smiled proudly, shooing Moonbin and his bruised ego away before you sat down on the ground with Jungkook, who looked at you like you possessed the world's greatest treasures.

You knew his name. You, Y/N Y/L/N, knew his name. He could squeal in happiness any second, luckily his throbbing headache kept him grounded, adoration glazing his pretty eyes. He had a little bruise on his forehead from the gravel, luckily no blood, and you didn't dare touch it, afraid Jungkook would cry out in pain again like he did two days ago.

You followed him to the bathroom, offering to hold his stuff for him, even his phone, case decorated in Undertale and Zelda stickers, and you laughed to yourself as you traced the stickers with your fingers. Out of a sudden, the buzzes from his phone wouldn't stop, and you flipped his phone around to see series of messages on his lock screen.

Dad 04:37pm

Where are you

You idior come home or i'l, throw your shit ouvt

Ungsteful brat no wonder your mom left tou

Heart dropping to the floor, you dismissed the messages and pretended you had never even seen them, scared Jungkook would close up again as he had finally started talking to you.

When he exited the bathroom, you pretended you hadn't seen anything, yet the lump in your stomach just grew bigger every time you looked at him. You started noticing, how his eyes were puffy, bags under his eyes, one cheek redder than the other, how skinny Jungkook was, and it made you shiver.

"A-are you.. alright?" He asked softly, and you only nodded, pressing your books up against your chest, trying to suppress whatever emotions you so desperately wanted to show.

He followed you home that evening, and you nearly cried out for him not to leave, not to go home to his dad who's texts had scared the living daylights out of you, so you reached for his hand.

"Stay for a while?" You pleaded, smiling, and he could see a little hurt in your eyes. He wanted to, so badly. Then he realized that he had a father at home, so he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my dad wants me home." And you could hear the fear in his voice as he got ready to leave. His lips reduced into a thin line as you pouted.

"Give me your number at least." You smiled, despite being afraid, and he obliged, typing his number in on your phone, being extremely cautious because of the price of your new iPhone 12, while he was stuck with the iPhone 5.

He turned on his heel, and you couldn't stop him. He slipped out of your hands, your grip. You gulped, watching him walk till he was out of sight. You tossed and turned the whole night, which you never did, you always fell asleep in minutes. You were worried, a few dry cries probably left your mouth.

11 days left

He was present in class the next morning, a feeling of relief as you saw him with his nose down in another book, yet he looked even more defeated than yesterday. He ignored your smiles, he just looked at you with a dead expression and pushed his glasses up his nose, throwing his hoodie over his head, looking back down into his books.

Class ended, and you gracefully walked over to Jungkook's desk, because it seemed like he had no intention of getting up. "I made extra lunch this morning so we could share. You never eat during break so-"

"Y/N, leave." He pointed at the door, all the other students leaving, signaling for you to leave with them, you refused, and pulled out a chair to sit in front of him.

"You're all skin and bones, Jungkook. Let's enjoy this meal together, I can be silent if you want." You shrugged, grabbing two bento boxes from your backpack.

"Why do you care? Don't you have friends you should be spending time with?" Jungkook spat, not even willing to look you in the eyes.

You just kept smiling, opening the boxes carefully and handing him a pair of chopsticks, "You're my friend too, Kook-ah," and he accepted, a small grin appearing on his face.

He loves you, he absolutely loves you. He doesn't even mind that you feel nothing for him, you are so, so perfect. Jungkook could stare at you all day, letting your beauty sink in time and time again. He wants to hold you because you're so close to him, but he knows that you're two worlds apart, no matter the distance between you two.

You could hold him so tight he'd turn blue and you'd still be so god damn far away, you were so out of his league, as cliche as it sounds, it's completely true.

Eating together in silence as you promised. Jungkook was completely engulfed in your sweet, silent beauty, how you resembled a wave that hits the shore with such ease, splashing everywhere, landing as simple drops of water, which couldn't hurt anyone.

You weren't loud and outrageous, you enjoy moments of silence, you love everything enclosed, safe and sound company, exactly like Jungkook.

"You wanna come to my house today?" You break the comfortable silence.

"I can't." He replies, sounding awfully sad.

You could ask why, but you chose not to. You didn't want to pick scabs off wounds you couldn't see, so you waited till he told you yourself. Hoping he would.

"Okay. You have my number though, can we text tonight?" You smile, knowing it's weird to ask someone to text you, but Jungkook was weird too, so it didn't matter.

He nodded and continued reading a book you knew nothing about. You appreciate a good book, classics like Catcher in the Rye, and How to kill a mocking bird, but it seemed like Jungkook had taken the next step into the world of literature.

He made you happy, his company felt good. Nothing could hurt you now, yet everything could hurt Jungkook, and you swore you felt nauseous just thinking about it. You knew what was happening in his home, but you needed him to tell you, trust you, before you could help him. Give him what he deserves, he just needs to hang in there for a little while longer.

"Can't we skip school tomorrow, we can do something then? It won't affect our report cards!" You shake him excitedly, yet carefully, like he's fragile

"They'll call home, my parents are already mad at me for a bad grade I got last week." Jungkook sighs, closing the book he was reading. He lets out a weak, quiet yawn.

You think he's pretty like this, eyes puffy and lips pouted, hair messy, glasses resting on his nose. Jungkook has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen, and you swore to god you could drown in them.

10 days left

See tags for warnings.

He dragged his feet down the pavement of a busy street, trapping onto his heavy backpack. It was a long walk since he had missed the bus home from school. He was tired today, even worse than yesterday. The summer sun was frying him alive, forehead covered in drops of sweat, hair sticking to his forehead.

Wearing a sweater and jeans was probably not the most comfortable choice, but sure as hell the most secure one. He hated his legs, and his arms covered in purple and blue bruises, and how he wasn't fit at all, in fact, he had never entered a gym before.

Sometimes, he'd take the long way home. He tried to convince himself that it was for health reasons, that he needed the extra steps because all he did was stay in his room. Jungkook knew it was untrue. The only reason he took the long way home is because of his father and his unpredictable mood swings. Sometimes, he'd be in a good mood. He might even offer Jungkook the remote and the best spot in the sofa after a long school day.

Today, he was just so exhausted he even took a shortcut. He just needed a nap and something to eat. Opening the front door, he carefully stepped inside. His dad was on the back porch, smoking a cigarette and listening to the radio. Jungkook couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. When he went to get something to eat, the fridge was nearly empty. Just some cheese and a few jars of jam. Maybe he could find some crackers to eat it with.

Looking closer at the cheese, it was expired. There were no crackers in the cupboard either. He had to approach his dad and see what mood he was in. Slowly sliding the glass door open, he called out with his softest voice:

"Dad?" His voice quivered.

His father turned around abruptly, seeing his son in the doorway. "What do you want now? I can't drive you to school if that's what you're gonna ask me. If you missed the bus you can walk." Jungkook heard his voice getting more irritable towards the end of the sentence.

He had to be so so careful.

"Uh, no... I just got home from school." He stopped to think for a while and his dad raised his eyebrows. "There's no food in the fridge. I was just gonna remind you that you need to go to the grocery store."

Jungkook´s father stood up, pushing his chair back.

"Who are you to tell me what I need to do?" He came closer and Jungkook braced himself. "You're just like your useless mother. Can't do anything on your own." He hadn't raised his voice yet.

"Sorry... M´sorry..." Jungkook muttered underneath his breath. At some point in his life he stopped defending his mom. It was somewhat true. She was useless, at least to him. She had ran away from her husband, Jungkook´s father, and started a new family with a nice husband. She deserved all of that at the time and promised to come back for Jungkook once everything was settled a few weeks later.

She never came.

"I can't believe I messed my life up so bad. Look at your mother running away from her own son, to think that I married her! Even worse, look at the son that I raised. Such a weak and sad boy. I can't even call you a man." He was yelling and Jungkook knew he was only seconds away from hurting him again.

Jungkook couldn´t even bother replying before his head hit the porch floor. He was still conscious and his dad pulled him up by the collar for another round.

When he was done, Jungkook limped his way into his bedroom and his dad sunk back into his chair and turned up the music even louder. He sat down in his bed and slowly took his hood off, wincing from the pain. His mind drifted elsewhere and landed on the thought of you. How your kindness and care could have calmed him down in seconds.

He picked up his phone and looked at the text from you from last night.

Y/N 9:17 pm - Yesterday

Hi Jungkook, how are you? ❤️ I can see that you're reading these :( Read 9:19

Jungkook 5:45 pm

Sorry. Hi. To be honest I could be better. How about you?

Y/N 5:49 pm

Happy you replied and sad to hear that you're not doing well. I really want you to come to my house tomorrow 🙏 I even told my parents that I made a new friend who's not related to my current friend circle and they couldn't be happier!! Pretty pretty pleaseee

Jungkook hesitated for a while. Considering his dad couldn't even grasp that it was 4 pm when he came home and not 7 in the morning makes him believe that he won't notice his absence for a few hours tomorrow. And even if he did, it would be worth it.

Jungkook 5:57 pm

Fineee

Y/N 5:58 pm

Yayy I can't wait!!

For the first time in a while, Jungkook wasn't dreading waking up in the morning.

9 days left

Jungkook 1:22 pm

Should we meet a slight distance away from school or should I just go directly to your house?

Y/N 1:25 pm

What are u saying? Meet me by the main entrance and we'll walk together!!

And so he did. You walked out the main entrance with your entire friend group and you smiled brightly as your eyes met with his. He was caught off guard by your lack of shame. "See you guys tomorrow!" You smiled brightly, and all your friends stared back with a confused look as you skipped towards Jungkook.

"What are you doing?" Jihan exclaimed. You turned around to her and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I´m gonna hang out with my friend!" All of your friends looked at you funny and you pushed Jungkook along.

"Sorry they're being such idiots to you. I try to make them stop but I think they have some deep rooted insecurities." You chuckled after a while of silence.

"It´s fine." Jungkook forced a smile and looked you in the eyes.

"No, it's really not fine and you need to stop saying that." You came to a halt and he turned to you. He didn't say anything and you couldn't read his facial expressions.

He knew he was dead silent and you probably thought it was weird. Only right now was he taking in how beautiful this side of town was. Large mansion style houses with three cars parked outside each house, modern communal parks and clean streets. You fit in so perfectly here.

If he closed his eyes real tight and concentrated very hard he could imagine himself as a family man in one of these stunning houses. Maybe he could own a Benz that he could take his kids to school in. They would never take the bus and they'd always come home to open arms and a homemade meal on the table.

Warm and lighthearted conversations at the dining table with his wife and children, everything his mom and dad couldn't give him. A pat on the back if they fail a test and not a slap in the face. That's what he wanted to give his children.

Jungkook was lost in thought and so were you. You were stood there thinking about how stunningly pretty Jungkook was. When you were close to him it was almost heartbreaking how it hasn't been appreciated more. How his face belonged on a canvas. That's what you thought of him. You aren't the type to stay silent when you really mean something. For some reason the words just don't come out the right way when you're with him.

"Are your parents home?" He questioned as you kept walking.

"My mom probably. My dad will be home for dinner."

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your mom loves Jungkook and constantly gushes about how well mannered he is. Your dad appreciates that he only speaks when he is spoken to and that he has realistic ambitions. You spend most of your time in the upstairs living room playing a stupid board game and watching a dumb sitcom.

It's quiet most of the time but the both of you can feel that you enjoy each others company. Just simply co-existing and not being alone feels nice for the both of you.

As Jungkook is putting his shoes on to leave, your mom walks in. "Jungkook-ah, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow as well? You're such a pleasure to have as a guest." She proposes, and he nods.

"If Y/N wants to spend time with me two days in a row." He chuckles slightly.

"You know I do."

He smiles, you exchanged goodbyes and he shuts the door behind him. Both you and your mom stay silent for a while before she breaks the silence.

"I hope this boy isn't a pity project to you, honey. You can obviously see that he's struggling and you can't just leave him behind when you're bored of him. He needs you more than you need him." She places her cold hand on your shoulder as she leaves you standing in the hallway.

You're not so sure that he really needs you more than you need him, because you so desperately need a friend.

8 days left

"Jungkookie, can I tell you a secret?" You're situated on your queen bed with floral sheets, both sitting with your legs crossed like 5th grade girls. Jungkook looked up and raised an eyebrow curiously at you as he nodded slowly.

"I was hanging with the wrong crowd a while ago. Not that I'm hanging out with the right crowd now, but you get the expression." You chewed your bottom lip nervously before you continue. "You know when I left school for a month to go to the Caribbeans?"

He lifted his eyebrows and widened his eyes in a "Yes... And?" type of way.

"I wasn´t in the Caribbeans. I was in rehab. An old friend of mine overdosed and I had to get drug tested. I tested positive on coke and my parents shipped me straight off to rehab." His expression softened as he placed a hand on your knee just like you had done to him a few days earlier.

"I was so mad at the time, I wanted to get emancipated from my parents. Today, I'm grateful. Grateful that they helped me so I didn't have to suffer the same fate as my friend." You sigh so deeply you could feel tears stinging in your eyes, but you managed to keep them down.

"Why´d you do it? Take the drugs I mean?" Jungkook asked ever so carefully, and you knew he only meant well.

"I guess I wanted to feel something." You shrug. "I think that´s why everyone does drugs in one way or another. To either feel or not feel." You smile sheepishly.

"What's your secret?" Feeling a little vulnerable and naked, you divert the attention to him. Maybe you're hoping to hear something about his dad. If he hurts Jungkook. That's what you suspect by the clothes Jungkook wears in this hot weather. How he always tugs at his sleeves.

"I want to study nursing." You stare at him and he knows it not as interesting as what you told him. "I haven't told anyone, ever. Maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but to me it's a secret." He stared down in his lap, not meeting your gaze. Chipping at the loose skin around a sore on his hand.

"That's really cool Kook-ah. I'm happy I'm the first to know." He looks back up at you. "Where have you applied?"

"I applied to PNU but tuition wise I think INJE or Dong-A is more realistic."

All of the universities he has applied to are all in Busan and you swore you could hear your own heart shatter. "Busan, really?"

"My aunt lives there and offered to let me stay with her for the first years of my studies." He chimed happily. "I guess I don't have the best relationship with my dad."

You decided not to push it, not to ask any questions quite yet.

"How about you Y/N-ah?" You liked the way your name slipped of his tongue so gently.

"I´ve already accepted my spot at Yonsei. I'm gonna study dentistry, so I guess we'll be in the healthcare field together." You smile, but you can't help that you're looking quite disappointed. In some ways you were hoping for Jungkook to be your forever friend, not a friend you occasionally see whenever you're in each others cities.

"When are you leaving for Busan?" You question.

"After summer, I guess."

7 days left

The empty desk in the classroom makes your insides feel like they're gonna twist and turn and send your breakfast back up your throat. His empty desk.

The two of you had grown abnormally close over the past few days, texting all night and spending the daytime together in some kind of way. Maybe it's because neither of you know how healthy friendships are supposed to be paced, you feel like you've been friends forever.

The entire day went by and all you heard was the tuned out noise of your loud friends yelling across the lunch table with nothing interesting to say at all. Only shit talk and gossip. There's always a new guy or girl to talk shit about. Usually, you wouldn't participate in the chitchat, so they didn't notice your sullen mood today.

No matter how much you tried to paint yourself as a saint or a saviour, you only saw an accomplice when you looked in the mirror. You had the power to make them stop picking on so many people, in some way, they saw you as their leader. Maybe they'd abandon you at some point, but wouldn't it be worth it?

Despite the fact that you never encouraged it, you never stopped them either. So you weren't better than them in any way although you liked to believe so. You liked the validating feeling of them obeying the things you told them to do, and you guessed that´s why you're too scared to confront them. You're scared that they'll rebel against you and leave you behind.

Y/N 11:21 am

Kook-ah, where are u?

Jungkook 11:24 am

At home The walk back from your house gave me a cold I think

Y/N 11:25 am

Oh no :( Get well soon and text me tn!! <3

You knew he was lying and you could feel your heart hurting from lunch time till you were in bed staring at the ceiling. "Honey! Dinner is ready!" Your mom yelled from downstairs, and you barely heard it through your door.

"Not hungry!" You yelled back, continuing the intense stare-off with your ceiling. Your mind explored deep and dark places when you were alone. Letting your mind slip back to your past or the worst experiences throughout your life was very typical of you to do.

The text message you sent to Jungkook is left unread. Until it isn't anymore.

Jungkook 8:21 pm

I really need you right now

You started blankly at the screen, heart pounding in your chest whilst typing your message.

Y/N 8:21 pm

Ofc, where r u???

Jungkook shared his location with you for 1 hour

You raced down the stairs, and your parents looked at you confusedly as you rushed past them and put on your running shoes in the hallway. You so badly wished you had your license. Darting out the door and slamming the door behind you, you weren't thinking straight. The air was cold for a summer night, but it was still bright out.

Jungkook lived on the other side of Goyang, a city right outside Seoul that you both resided in. Walking would probably take you 45 minutes at least. You didn't care. The wind ran through your hair as your breath was pacing. You made awfully loud noises as it was starting to get tiring. You refused to stop running, you couldn't stop running. Your body wouldn't let you.

The location Jungkook sent you was a park, and you guessed it was close to his house. Sometimes you picked up your phone for directions but you never stopped running, you only slowed down to a jog. A faint iron taste was present in your mouth and you were heaving for air, but he needed you.

Someone finally needs you.

You ran across busy roads, cars honking and people yelling out their car windows after you. At some point you even fell and twisted your ankle, but it only slowed you down slightly. At some point you start thinking of other means of transportation you could've turned to to get to him. This felt more rewarding.

"He needs me!" You yelled out like a crazy woman to motivate yourself as you picked up your pace.

"Your destination is 1 minute away." Your phone said from your back pocket. You looked around, and a bench with a silhouette sitting on it caught your eye. You ran over, head banging and feet sore.

You stopped abruptly in front of him, trying to catch your breath. You met his gaze. His teary-eyed gaze. All you could do was throw your arms around him and hold him ever so tightly. He sniffled into your cardigan and held you close.

He was gonna be okay. You didn't ask any questions that night.

6 days left

You were nibbling on a mozzarella stick your mom had packed in your lunchbox. Everyone else was eating the cafeteria food, but you couldn't stand the nauseating creamy pasta they served every other week. All your friends were talking about something you couldn´t focus on. Suddenly a few girls rushed over and shouted your name.

"YN-ah!! They're fighting over you!" You recognised a few of the girls; Jisoo, Heejin and Soomin. They had math class with you, and god, they were loud. Loud but kind. They´d always include you in their conversations since none of your friends were in that class.

You shook your head trying to come back to your senses. "Who is fighting over me?" You blurted out.

"Moonbin made the first punch but he punched back!" Heejin shook your shoulders and made you come with her. "Can you believe it?" She spoke yet again, dragging you down the hallway, your friends were right behind you.

"Who is the other guy?!" You refused to keep walking before they told you.

"Jungkook, obviously! He punched back!" They almost laughed in disbelief.

Jungkook. He was defending himself against Moonbin. The thought sent shivers down your spine. Moonbin was a self proclaimed professional in bathroom fighting. He'd fight anyone for any reason he could think of, just for the fun of it. He didn't leave Jungkook alone when you told him, in fact, it probably provoked him even more that you stood up against him a few days back.

The girls pulled you around the corner and into the mens bathroom. Moonbin had Jungkook by his collar, his nose was bleeding and there was blood on his blue shirt. He didn't look scared though. He looked completely and utterly numb. Moonbin turned around to see you in the doorway, and his face was pretty bruised up too considering the punch had only been thrown minutes ago.

"Moonbin, please stop!" You nearly screamed, choking on a sob. It only infuriated him more and he threw a gut punch at Jungkook. He winced in pain, and you let out a squeal as you could feel it slightly in your own stomach. The pain.

Taehyung came up behind you and you turned to him. "Please, for the love of god, stop them. For me." The tears were running down your face already, and he´d do anything for you if you asked. Taehyung rushed over and separated the two, and a few others who were watching helped hold Moonbin back. You followed close behind, and watched Jungkook slide down against the wall.

"Make them leave, please." You pleaded with Taehyung, and he obliged. He told everyone to get out as you fell to the floor next to Jungkook. You placed your hand on the cut on his lip and wiped the blood off.

"I´m so sorry. So god damn sorry." You sobbed uncontrollably at this point, and he was the one to comfort you when he was the one who was hurt. "Stop apologising." He held you this time.

"I keep making things worse for you. I act like some kind of saviour when I do the exact opposite." His gaze softens.

"It's worth it to me." He says, running his hands through your hair.

"You're worth it to me." You barely hear him saying it, but it's loud enough for you to hear. A soft, pained whisper.

"I think you're the best thing that ever happened to me." You reply.

5 days left

Jungkook was seated on the ottoman, his face covered in band aids and strips. You were twirling around outside the dressing room in a white summery maxi dress. "What about this one?" You question, doing an extra twirl.

"It's nice." He shrugs, letting his eyes wander down your body starting from the top. How the dress hugged you in the completely right places. Your hips and waist looked amazing, and he so badly wanted to touch you. Without the dress if he could, but he'd be more than satisfied with it on.

Your expression saddened as your mouth formed a frown. "Okay, should I be completely honest?" He asked seriously.

"Should I be scared?" You laughed. "Go ahead."

"I think it's beautiful. It's perfect. You're perfect." He said sheepishly. He meant it although he hesitated. You were so perfect. Jungkook hadn't been to the Louvre ever before, but he was sure that a painting of you would attract more attention than the Mona Lisa ever could.

He was sure people would travel from every corner of the world to see your face, even in a painting. Everyone who were lucky enough in person should be thanking the universe for blessing them with the opportunity.

"Really?" You beamed, heart pounding. "Is it okay for graduation?" You look down at yourself hesitantly, the cleavage of the dress maybe dipping down a bit too low.

"More than okay."

The sales assistant came to check up on you and her eyes lit up when she saw you in the dress. "It's gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I think you need this."

"Honestly, I do too after such positive feedback." You giggled lightly. "Can you take his measurements and pick out a suit for him as well please?" You point at Jungkook seated on the green velour ottoman.

"Me?" He was flustered and looked you dead in the eyes.

"Yes, you silly." You smiled softly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He desperately pleaded with you with his eyes and pulled you aside.

"Y/N I can't afford this. I don´t know if you think that I have more money than I do but I seriously have to scrape together money for a new hoodie from H&M."

"No, god. I´m not making you pay when I dragged you all the way over here. Consider it a graduation gift. If not, salary for being my personal shopping assistant." You nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Look, I´ll wear some black pants that sort of look like suit pants and the school uniform shirt. I can't let you do this." He almost pushed you against the wall as he grasped both your shoulders. Unbothered, you pushed his hands off you.

"Can´t let my date wear something simple as that to graduation. My grandparents are gonna frame the pictures of me and you're gonna be in them. I want you to feel confident that day. You deserve it." You pull him in for a hug.

You walked back to the sales assistant. "Will you take him to get his measurements?" She nodded, and now it was your turn to sit on the ottoman. He ended up trying on a few suits, and you landed on one that the both of you really liked. You could see him sweat when looking at the price tag but you reassured him with your soft smile.

"Get changed and we'll go pay." He agreed and disappeared behind the curtain. You fiddled with your phone for a while before going to browse the store. Understandingly, a suit that was so perfect for his figure would take a while to get out off, but you went to check on him.

Between the crack of the curtain and the wall you saw him. His upper body undressed as he touched a wound. His whole back covered in purple, red and dark bruises. You had watched enough medical shows to know that they weren't from yesterday. He had more scars and bruises visible than skin.

He saw you in the mirror and turned around. He looked scared to death. Like you were gonna hurt him as well. "Y/N, what the fuck?" You stood frozen. You were scared too. All your suspicions confirmed. Sometimes, late at night, you'd comfort yourself thinking that you were overreacting.

He threw on his sweater and pushed you to get past. You almost stumbled. Before you knew it, you saw him outside the store window, nearly running to get away. Get away from you and your invasive self. He had hung his suit up carefully, and defeatedly you took it with you to the counter where your dress was laying.

"Can you get the suit delivered? I did something stupid and he's not gonna accept it if I turn up on his doorstep." The cashier understandingly nodded. You took your phone out as you waited for the cashier to finish adding up your total and bagging it up.

Y/N 3:12 pm

I´m so sorry I keep saying sorry but I really do mean it. I'm not gonna bring it up, ever. If you wanna talk I'm here but I´ll keep my mouth shut till you tell me to open it up. Please don´t close down on me.

"Excuse me, miss?" The cashier waved his hand as you had zoned out completely. "Sorry. Your total will be one point four million won." the cashier pointed to the terminal. (About a 1000 USD) "Delivery fees included." You swiped your card and he handed you a beautiful bag with gold writing.

Parts of you wishes that the suit was in the bag and Jungkook was walking nervously next to you.

You had to give him space.

3 days left

All of Sunday had passed without any replies from Jungkook. Your dad dropped you off outside school that morning. You weren't sure if Jungkook would be at school today, but you were dressed up pretty just in case. A pretty frilled blouse only for special occasions.

Like the gods had answered your prayers, you saw him. You met his eyes and he walked over to you. "Y/N-ah, I forgive you. I don't have time for anything else, I´m sorry."

"Time? What do you mean?"

"My aunt called yesterday. She needs help at her restaurant in Busan and asked me if I wanted a summer job and to move in earlier." He was studying your face to see your reaction.

"Jungkook-ah, no..." You whined.

"You of all people should know why I want to leave. Especially after what you saw." He tried to reason with you.

You threw your arms around him in the busy school hallway. "I know." You whispered. "It's okay."

"I just wished we had more time." You smiled bittersweetly as he pulled away. He wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing more than to stay with you forever.

"I got the suit." He changed the subject.

"Are you mad?" You gave him your best puppy eyes.

"Why would I be mad about a great graduation gift?" He laughed wholeheartedly, and his laugh filled your heart with warmth and gave you butterflies. He was making you all jittery.

Why?

2 days left

"Pour me another shot Jungkook-ah!" You held your shot glass in front of him as he smiled at you, pouring soju into your glass. You swung your arms around, singing to the music playing at the restaurant.

"Slow down." He said as he called for the waitress to take the soju away. "That's all for tonight, alright?" He patted your head. You liked the confidence boost the alcohol had given him. How he so openly flirted with you, and it satisfied some deep rooted needs of yours.

He paid for the drinks which you didn't notice in your state. "Let's walk home to sober up. We have school tomorrow."

"I think it's sad that we won't go to school together. We were totally acting like college students today and it was so fun. Drinking on a school night feels crazyyy..." You slurred and he pulled you closer as you almost stumbled over your own feet.

"Yeah, it is sad."

The rest of the walk was silent. Stopping outside your house, you felt a few raindrops hit your cheeks and head. Jungkook cursed under his breath. He had a forty minute walk home. "Do you have an umbrella I could borrow by any chance?" He asked shyly, retorting back to his humble, sober self for a second.

"No. Don´t wanna." You crossed your arms. "My parents are away for their anniversary. Won't be home until graduation." Tugging at his denim jacket sleeve, signalising for him to come inside.

"I shouldn't. I should go home." He refused.

"Sure, you should go home, but do you want to go home?" He looked so gut-wrenchingly sexy underneath the street lights, hair ruffled and a tired look on his face. Shirt unbuttoned so you could see his golden tanned chest.

"No." He replied, and you pulled him inside by his sleeve. You took off your shoes and for a few seconds you just stood looking at each other. Something was in the air. Something you had never felt with Jungkook before. It wasn't comfortable anymore, it was electric.

You needed him so bad and you were about to throw yourself at him. He beat you to it, he grabbed you and pinned you up against the wall. Your lips crashed and you didn't have time to catch a breath. You let out a few desperate moans to catch your breath as you both stumbled down the hallway over to the staircase.

As you were making your way up the stairs, you fell on your butt down on one of the steps and he got on top of you. You chuckled between the desperate kisses as he lifted you up the stairs. He was stronger than you thought.

He went down the upstairs hallway with you in his arms and into your bedroom with an open door. He threw you on the bed and wasted no time in trying to take off your shirt. "Kook-ah, I need you so so bad." You whimpered in despair, rutting your hips forward.

"I´ll make it worth it." He smirked as he kissed you. While kissing you he started unbuttoning your pants and you helped him. You were all exposed to him and he was completely clothed. You looked each other in the eye and slowed down. He started with his jacket. He hesitated with the shirt.

"Can I?" You looked up at him. He nodded slowly. You gently took his t-shirt off, and he felt incredibly exposed with all his bruises on display. You only smiled as you placed kisses on his chest, trailing down his stomach.

He took his pants off on his own and you handed him a condom. He slowed down again and you raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, a thought popped into your head.

"Kook-ah... Are you like.. a virgin?" you ask innocently.

He nods slowly again. "Don't treat me any differently than you would with an experienced guy. Some guidance might be nice but-" He says, panicked. You interrupt him. "So you want this?" You take his hand and you embrace it with your own.

"I want this more than anything." He kissed you again.

"I´ll take care of you." You bit the wrapper open and he put the pieces together as to how you're supposed to put it on.

"Aren't you supposed to do some sort of foreplay before?" He questioned awkwardly.

"It´s usually for the girls´ sake. I don't need that. I need you inside of me." You moaned, leading his body closer to yours. He let his hands slide up the side of your waist before carefully going inside you.

"Okay, do what you want with me." You smirk slyly as you whisper. "I'm yours."

"I know. And I will." He thrusts harder into you and your moans come out in unison. Tears start running down your cheeks and he checks up on you by stopping.

"Please don't stop." You cry out, placing your hands on his back. "Please."

He obliges and doesn´t stop until both your bodies give out. You fall asleep like that, bodies close and sweaty.

1 day left

This wasn't what you two planned at all. You both were pacing around your bedroom, refusing to met each others eyes. The alcohol had clearly gotten to you two yesterday and you the air was different. It wasn't comfortable like usual, or electric last night. It was uncomfortable. You felt like you shouldn't have let him yesterday. You wanted him to lose his virginity with someone he was in love with, not a friend he's been close to for 2 weeks at most.

Jungkook didn´t regret losing his virginity to you, not all. You were careful and tender, but you didn't treat him any differently like he asked you not to do. He was ashamed because he thought you would regret it. That he took advantage of you in your drunken state, and that you wouldn't touch him like that sober.

You threw yourself down on the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked to you and it felt like he was almost choking on his own heartbeats.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?" He asked gently with a sullen tone, sitting down on the bed next to you. You sat up startled when you had processed what he said through your throbbing headache.

"What? No no no..." You cupped his face in your hands and stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I don't regret anything about last night, Kook-ah." You looked distraught, like you really meant it, like you were shocked by what he had said.

"Good. Cause I don't either." He placed his hand on yours. Jungkook took the hand you had placed on his face and placed it on his knee. He drew circles on your palms and made little hearts.

"Whatever this is.. Whatever we're doing right now; I don't want it to end." You smiled teary-eyed. He was leaving you and you didn't know what to do.

Jungkook wasn´t great with this kind of stuff. The touching, the loving and the expressions of love. All he did was nod quietly, and you knew by the look in his eyes that he felt the same.

You didn't know how to identify the feelings you felt for Jungkook. Throughout you've had boyfriends and best friends but none of them made you feel what you were feeling right now. Here, with him.

You had slept with a few guys before, and you've also slept with a best friend before. Taehyung, less than a year back. That felt weird, but not weird in the way Jungkook made you feel.

Not weird in a bad way.

"Y/N... I have to go. My dad´s at a meeting with the department of labor for a few hours and the moving trucks are coming in the meantime." He grimaced, wanting you to understand why he was leaving you high and dry at 6 am like this.

"Aren't you coming to school today?"

"No, I need to do this now or else I don't know how I´ll get out without him finding out." He put on his denim jacket and kissed you on the cheek. "I´ll see you tomorrow."

"If you're moving your stuff out today, where are you staying tonight?" You get up from the bed and you place yourself in front of him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Stay here." You propose, smiling warmly.

God, he loved that smile. He loved you.

That morning, after he left you with your own thoughts again, you walk to school with a skip in your step. Taehyung greets you by the entrance and asks you why you're so smiley and weird today. You tell him that it's just one of those days.

He knows why you're smiling and he hates it. It's because of him. Taehyung can do nothing but observe as you make it so clear to him that you are not his and he is not yours.

You spend the rest of the school day thinking. You had lunch in the cafeteria with your friends and spent most of the time chatting with Taehyung about trivial stuff. University, summer and graduation. He was also staying in Seoul for school and was attending SNU law. You were impressed, not knowing that Taehyung had been able to get his grades up to study law.

"My parents wanted to send me to Harvard but contrary to popular opinion, I think it sounds overrated. I like the idea of being a student in Seoul." Taehyung explained, making you nod your head in agreement.

"I get that. There's just something about Seoul." He smiled as he stole a spoonful of your seaweed soup.

"Hey!" You ruffled his hair, knowing he had spent all morning doing it as revenge. He flung a spoonful of rice at your face and you laughed almost hysterically as you managed to inhale a grain of rice.

After a while you're laughing calmed down and your friends had stopped giving you two a weird look. "Do you have an apartment yet or are you commuting back and forth from your house?" He inquires, stirring his food around as fidgeting.

"I was thinking of moving out but I just can't find the right apartment. There's an open house next week that I want to go to." You explain, and he nods along.

"Is Jungkook coming with you?" He asks, now fiddling with his own thumbs.

"Uh.. no." He looks up at you. "He's moving to Busan tomorrow." You elaborate, and a look of pity flashes across his face.

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Taehyung smiled awkwardly. "So I'm gonna have to go all alone." You were insinuating that he should come with.

"I´ll go with you." He suggests. "If you want me to."

You nod.

It was starting to get dark out when you were seated in your windowsill with the window open. The window from your room had direct view down to the street and your frontyard. As promised, he was there, outside your door, waving up at you.

The day of

Jungkook was trying to curl your hair. After a few burns and a little cursing, he was starting to get the hang of it. You were sitting in front of the vanity with him standing behind you and while he was curling your hair, you were doing your makeup. The two of you were both in bathrobes, your outfits laying neatly on your bed.

"This stuff is hard. I'm sweating in fear of burning myself again." He snickers, and you laugh along.

"I´ll blow on your burns when you're done." You smiled at him in the mirror and you saw his reflection blushing slightly. "When is your train leaving tonight?"

"I'm taking the KTX train around 8 pm so I´ll be in Busan before midnight." He announces, and you feel realisation creeping up on you. Sure, the train ride isn't that long with the speed trains, but he's still far away and you're both gonna be busy. Your parents booked you a graduation trip to Greece with them and then you´re flying straight to Aiya Napa with a few friends, including Taehyung.

"Okay." Is all you manage to utter with a sigh at the end.

"You'll come with me to the train station, right?" He questions.

"Of course." You smile.

He finishes curling your hair and you add the finishing touches to your makeup. "All done." Jungkook grins proudly.

"It´s really pretty, thank you." You shake out the curls to see them properly and run your fingers carefully through them to loosen them up.

"I´m gonna go change." He said, gesturing towards your bathroom.

"Okay, let me do your hair when you're done please!" You request, giving him the puppy eyes that you give everyone when you want something your way.

"Maybe." Jungkook shuts the door behind him.

A few minutes later he came back out, all dressed up. Except the tie that he was holding in his hand. "I can't tie a tie." He admitted ashamedly, letting a slight chuckle escape his lips.

You turn around to see him and you're stunned. He looked great in the white lights in the store dressing rooms, but in this light, he looked gorgeous. The morning summer sun shining in through your window, hitting Jungkook like a spotlight.

Getting up from your chair and walking over to him, your heart was pounding a hundred beats a second. You couldn't shake the weird unidentifiable feeling that you felt when you were close to him. You swung the tie around his neck and tied it tight, but not too tight.

"I´ll send you a video tutorial if you want to know later, but we're gonna run late if we don't hurry up." You smile, patting his shoulder., signaling that you´re all done.

You point your finger to the chair in front of the vanity and he sits down. "Let's see. Hand me your gel." Running your fingers through his hair, he closes his eyes in pleasure.

"It's really nice when you touch my hair." He hums in delight.

You alternate using the comb and your hands and soon you finish up. "You like?" You ask with a satisfied grin on your face.

"I love." He almost blurts out a "you." at the end but he manages to hold it in.

"Now I need to put my dress on." You let your bathrobe fall to the floor, now standing there in your white lace underwear. Jungkook rapidly turns away from you and you laugh.

"After what we've done you really don't need to turn around." You smirk confidently, knowing you're gonna make him flustered. He turns back around, almost shamelessly to watch you.

You slip into the dress and you struggle with the zipper in the back. He notices your struggle and gets up to help you. "Let me." He offers and you would never say no.

He turns you around so he's facing your bare back. He can't help but let his hands caress your back for a while, up and down, back and forth. Seductively, he pulls the zipper up slowly and you can feel his fingers brush up your back as the dress tightens.

Getting ready to leave, Jungkook grabs his little backpack of necessities since all his things are on their way to Busan. After you've celebrated for a while you'll follow him to the train station to say your goodbyes.

Your parents drive you to the ceremony and you both hurried over to get your cap and gowns. The ceremony went nicely, and both you and Jungkook stood posing in your parents photos with your diplomas in hand.

"Kiss her on the cheek Jungkook-ssi!" Your mom laughed and you looked to Jungkook who was looking at your dad with a frightened look on his face.

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek as your dad jokingly shook his head. "What a pretty picture." She fawned when she looked at her camera. "Jinho, come see." Your mother gestured at your father and his lips curled slightly upwards before he pulled himself together.

The whole moment felt bittersweet and went by like you were thinking back on a blurry memory. Giggles, smiles, hugs and joy were the most prominent things in the blur that you felt.

You and Jungkook collected a few of the people who hadn't left school yet and invited them out for drinks. You purposely picked people who you weren't close with, except for Taehyung.

You invited Jisoo, the girl from your math class, a boy you knew from Forensics club and a few others you hadn't spent that much time with. Stumbling down the street to a nearby restaurant, you meet many other classmates. You get situated at a table and you share embarrassing memories from high school.

"Jisoo, do you remember when you got that love letter from Sungkwan and you went around telling-" One of the guys at your table started before Jisoo interrupted.

"Stop! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" She laughed as she reached across the table to give him a little smack on the cheek. You look over to Jungkook who's staring out into the air, ignoring the constant calls from his father.

You take his hand under the table and you stroke his knuckles with your thumb. His shoulders fall down a little from their tense position when you touch him.

The weird feeling gets you again.

You know that Jungkook doesn't share as many fond memories from school as the rest of you around the table do, but you try your best to include him in the conversations when you can.

"Can we go outside?" Jungkook requests. "I have a memory I want to share." You look at him with a questioning look but you oblige and follow him outside.

You're standing outside the restaurant, feeling the summer breeze blow through your hair and your dress billowed to the point where it looked like a fairytale gown.

He gulps. He has always thought you were the prettiest girl in the world, but standing in front of him now, you looked angelic. He silently thanked the universe with blessing him with your presence. That he had gotten the opportunity to touch you and to feel you like he had.

"Y/N. I want to share a fond memory of mine that involved you, many years back." He spoke so formally you almost laughed at him, but you controlled yourself and nodded along. "The year I turned eleven, I invited the whole class to my birthday party. I paced around the floor as the clock ticked past six and no one had showed." He pauses and looks at you.

"I had given up all hope that anyone was gonna show, until you knocked on the door with a birthday card. You were the only person that showed that night and I've never forgotten about it." He sighed and his chest heaved for air.

"I hope you don't think it's weird but I keep the card on my nightstand." He admits ashamedly.

You don´t say anything, you just pull him in for a hug. The two of you stay like that for a while before you go back inside. It's seven pm when you go back inside and your heart feels heavy when you see the time on your phone.

The conversation goes on but you're so deep in your thought that you don't participate. It's hitting you real hard. Jungkook nudges you and shows you his phone with a bus schedule on it. It leaves from the bus stop outside the restaurant in eight minutes. You start saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table before you walk outside.

It´s silent as you're waiting for the bus, silent when you're sitting on the bus to the train station and it's silent when you get off.

"Platform seventeen..." He mumbles to himself and points you both to the right. You could see the sign with the little seventeen on it from afar but you so desperately want to point him in the other direction. Make him miss the train so he has some extra time to think about leaving.

a/n: so sorry for interrupting but if u want u can read the next part listening to the song I listened to while writing (taking pictures of you - the kooks)

He grabs your wrist and leads the way when you hesitate. Platform seventeen is right in front of you now, and the train is already there. He's looking you straight in the eyes, dressed in a suit and hair done all neatly you swore you could pass out.

You knew it was over although it never really started. All you did was spend fourteen days together, moving extremely quickly forward from strangers to being in bed together. You liked those fourteen days, you loved those fourteen days and you hated those fourteen days.

"I have to go." His lips quivered and your eyes stung with tears prickling in your eyes. There came the weird feeling again. This time, it didn't creep up on you, it hit you like a wave hits you at the beach, the type that makes you lose your balance and swallow a whole lot of water, struggling to get a breath of air. The feeling was unfamiliar to you and it felt uncomfortable.

"I really liked these fourteen days." You smiled genuinely through your tears. He pulled you in for another hug, less stiff than the ones before. It felt good to hug him, to get that last inhale of his cologne and the scent of his shampoo.

"Me too. I loved them." He spoke into your hair as he took in your scent for the last time in a while as well. "Visit me, please Y/N."

"Of course. I´ll come toward the end of the summer." You pulled away from the embrace to look him in the eyes. Before you knew it, you were kissing. The conductor yelled out that the train was leaving and he was the one to pull away this time. You took his hand and as he walked away his hand slipped away from yours.

He stepped on the train and you saw him through the window, never losing eye contact. You stood still on the platform as you were reduced to tears. The dark mascara that was running down your cheeks were the perfect contrast to the gorgeous white dress you were wearing. His denim jacket draped over your shoulders and your strappy baby pink heels in your left hand.

You were straight out of a movie.

As the train started moving, the feeling grew stronger as it finally hit you. You knew what you were feeling, and you had been denying it for too long.

It was love.

You were in love with Jeon Jungkook and he was leaving.

a/n: honestly that's the end but if u want to read a sneak peek of part 2 then scroll down a little!! join the taglist here if u want to be tagged in part 2.

The Epilogue

Day 1140

It was late at night and your friends had dragged you out of your apartment to go to some stupid club that had just opened in Gangnam. You weren't friends with any of your old friends anymore, just Taehyung.

You and Taehyung could be considered more than friends but less than lovers. It was complicated and not exclusive so you thought that you might as well find someone to spend the night with. He was sleeping with other women, so you felt like you should as well.

The music was blasting way too loud from the speakers and it was awfully crowded on the dance floor. You finally made your way to the ambient bar that was on the quieter side. Club standard quiet, of course. You ordered a gin and tonic to loosen up and have some fun.

The first year of university, you spent everyday partying and bringing new guys back to the apartment you shared with your best friend Hayoon. She eventually grew tired of it and so did you. You spent the second year dating, meeting new guys from Tinder or agreeing to blind dates that Hayoon arranged, and that didn't work out either.

By the time you started your third year you settled down with being Taehyung´s something. Sometimes, your mind would drift back to what you felt for Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in 3 years and you never visited him in Busan, but what you felt when you stood on platform seventeen is a feeling you'll never forget.

You cancelled your visit to Busan in the summer and promised to visit for fall break. By the time fall break came around, he wasn't picking up your calls. You kept calling for a few weeks and in anger and spite you blocked his number and never reached out again.

You asked the bartender for a straw just so you could stir the ice cubes around. Boredom washed over you after a while, so you moved seats to sit closer to the one window that wasn't shaded black. You saw the busy streets, girls with wobbly knees and high heels who held on to their boyfriends for support.

You were scouting the streets for something interesting to let your tired eyes focus on. Just like fate, like it was written in the stars, he was there. Jungkook was there. Rubbing your eyes and closing them for a few seconds didn't make him go away. You got off the barstool and picked up your bag, ready to rush out into the street.

You didn't know what to say or how to approach him, but you had to do something. Maybe take his hand and lead him away, let him say the first sentence and really let his voice soak in. Let his words surround you and his hands touch you.

You walked as fast as you could out the door in your own high heels. You were like those couples, he was missing the girl in high heels and you were missing the boy to support yourself on. You stood frozen on the sidewalk as he stood across the road from you. A girl leapt into his arms, dark raven curls bouncing as he caught her and pulled her in for a warm embrace.

Only now did you take your time to process how Jungkook looked. He was buff and muscular with a tattoo sleeve. Only in a t-shirt at night, his arms were free from any bruising. You were smiling like an idiot until you snapped back to reality and realised that he was holding someone else.

She kissed him,

and he kissed her.

fin.

(for now)

part 2 taglist

[okay-j-hannah]

They Give You Practice Kisses

Preference

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Loki

Warnings:

Request: “Good night, Hannah! Are the requests still open? I have one too cause you write about MY LOVES! My favourite boys (Bucky, Steven, Marc, and Loki) reacting to reader asking to "train" kisses with them cause she wants to go out with another guy (but It's a lie cause she likes them, she just wanna see if they feel the same) 😉😉😉😉 They could confess their love too 😍” Anon

~~~

Bucky

She was taking a few deep breaths, bare feet unsettled against the weathered wood of the dock. The cool breeze was welcoming to the anxious heat of her cheeks; the seagulls were landing nearby and crying for a morsel of food.

Bucky was kneeling at the edge of the docks, tying a boat down with expert knots. He was deep in concentration though she had no doubt he could already detect her presence.

She was going to feign confidence, “Hey, Buck,” she said casually. The way his head perked up as if surprised by her sudden appearance made her smile. “I wanted to ask you something.”

The steel shock ensnaring her stomach made it hard to notice if her voice was still shaky.

“What is it?” he asked, leaving the boat.

She licked her lips, breathing deep and slow – a feeble attempt to take another steadying breath without him noticing. “I need some training.”

He folded his broad arms, “You want to get into combat?”

“No, kissing.”

Now Bucky was normally the most neutral, expressionless soldier, but in that moment his eyebrows went flying to his hairline. The slightest quirk of his lips came next.

“Kissing?”

“Yeah,” she said candidly. “I need to impress this guy I like and I don’t want to mess it up because I’m out of practice.”

Bucky cleared his throat, his eyes analyzing her like a man on a mission. “Do I know this guy?”

(Y/N) watched his reactions carefully, wondering if he’d slip up when her affections were a factor. “Maybe. I just wanted to ask if it was okay to practice on you,” she took a step forward, “You could give me a few pointers.”

He bit his lip, looking away from her face and towards the sea, “What if I were to say no?”

Her face fell, a painful burn growing at the back of her throat, “Then I guess I have my answer.” She turned, seeking the comfort of her bedroom, but there were fingers wrapping around her wrist.

“You didn’t let me finish,” Bucky said quietly, pulling her back towards him. “When I kiss you, (Y/N), I want it to be for me and only me – not for some other guy you’re interested in.”

“You’re in luck then,” she hummed, willing the disappointment of her heart to grow into anticipation. “You are the guy I’m interested in.”

He continued to analyze her expression, searching for any signs that she was lying, “This wouldn’t have been as complicated if you had just walked up and kissed me.”

“I tend to make a fool out of myself when it comes to you,” she smiled, “Can I have that kiss now?”

He matched her smile, “Just cause you asked so nicely.”

Steven

She could feel his eyes. Feel the way they stared.

The tips of her ears burned but it put a smile on her face. It was almost a routine at this point. Steven would pause whatever he was doing and let his mind wander into the clouds as he watched her.

Normally she was doing something mundane like eating popcorn or folding laundry or searching for her keys. And without fail she would notice his silence and snap him out of it.

He’d deny any sort of imaginative scenario running through his mind.

(Y/N) needed a clever way to get him to confess. She knew there was something more sparking his interest in staring at her. And if she was being honest, Steven was often on her mind too.

Now as she put her arms into her jacket sleeves, finding her keys in the pocket, she refrained from addressing Steven – giving him more time to fall deeper into his dream state.

She turned and met his eyes across the room. He was standing behind the kitchen table, a box of cereal in his hands.

“Hey,” she said comically.

Steven jumped, flustered at being caught again, and a handful of cereal flew from the open box. “Oh, dear…” he mumbled, “What a klutz.”

She smiled warmly, meeting him on the floor to pick up the dry cereal, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know,” he laughed nervously, “I just… well, I was lost in thought.”

“Must’ve been exciting,” she prompted, “You were under for a while.”

“Was I?” he said, eyes looking at her shyly, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

She shrugged her shoulders, “I get lost in thought when I stare at you too.” And right as the horror developed on his face, she added, “I’ll see you later, Steven.”

He was rooted to the spot, dazed and confused as to what she could’ve meant. “Wait!” he suddenly cried, running into the hallway to find her by the elevator, “You think about me too?”

She tried to hide her smile, “Only when you look so kissable. Which is most of the time.”

The disbelief in his face was so sweet. “I… gods, I can’t believe you just said that.”

“What do you think about?” she asked quietly, ignoring the elevator as it opened.

Steven ran a hand through his tangled hair, attempting to pluck up the courage. “A lot of things. But just barely? I was thinking about this time kissing you goodbye.”

Warmth spread across her limbs, “We could give it a shot,” she smiled, “A few tries for practice.”

“Good, practice,” he nodded overenthusiastically, “Practicing is good.”

“Come kiss me goodbye then.”

Marc

“He’s sort of dark,” she mused, sitting cross legged on the couch and leaning against the arm rest. “And real quiet.” She was facing Marc as he sat similarly on the opposite side of the couch.

He had his arms crossed tightly, a plain expression on his face, although it was all in an attempt to hide the growing dislike within him.

“And?” he persisted, “What else do you like about him?” He was torturing himself by hearing the details, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know who had his girl so enraptured.

(Y/N) bit back a giggle at his obliviousness. “He’s more of a sweetheart than he lets on. And he’s always been so supportive of me. He’s always been just what I needed. He’s always been there for me.”

Who the hell had been there for her when he wasn’t?

“Makes me wonder why I haven’t met him yet,” he replied, curling in on himself.

(Y/N) wanted to take pity on him. “There is one thing. He’s the jealous type and can be a little overprotective.”

Marc contained his scoff. “I would be too.”

She smirked, “The problem is, we haven’t confessed our feelings yet. And I really want to kiss him.”

Her friend shifted uncomfortably, “Why haven’t you?”

“I just wanted to see if he felt the same first.” And by the looks of it – he did. “That and… I’m kind of out of practice.”

“Okay,” he said stiffly.

She swallowed, “Would you kiss me?”

“What?”

“You’d be doing me a favor,” she said quickly, “Warm me up a bit before I go see him.”

Marc was as still as a statue, “Are you sure?” This could be his chance to change her mind.

She nodded, “I trust you.” She crawled across the couch to reach him, “Just a quick kiss.”

But there was nothing quick about the way Marc traced her face with his eyes. Lifted his hand to her cheek. Grazed her jawline with his thumb. Pulled her in with strong fingers against her neck. Gently consumed her lips with warm pressure.

It was drawn out and comfortable and perfectly lovely. And while (Y/N) was smiling like a fool in love, Marc looked like he had lost something precious.

“Thank you,” she said softly, climbing off the couch, “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

He was still choking as he attempted to swallow the hurt when she walked out of the apartment. “God, you’re an idiot,” he said to himself, rubbing at his face.

But there was a knock at his door. He took a deep breath and somberly went to see who it was.

(Y/N) was on the other side. “Hi,” she said, a little breathless. “I’m here to see the guy I really like. I haven’t told him how I feel about him yet.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets but felt all warm as the realization flooded Marc’s face.

Loki

“You’re blushing.”

Loki was watching her from across the courtyard, relishing in how he was teasing her.

She cursed herself. She was all flustered by his presence.

He seemed to realize that, “What could possibly be making your cheeks warm so.” He sauntered over, convinced that she was blushing over him. “Has something caught your eye?”

“Consumed my thoughts,” she said quietly. She had the right mind to knock him down a few pegs before admitting her feelings. “Night and day it seems like.”

Loki’s brow rose, “I had no idea you were so burdened. What is it that consumes your thoughts? Perhaps I can help.” That devilish look was growing in his eyes.

She felt embarrassed but strangely empowered to smother that overconfidence in him. “I wish for a confession. I long for a kiss.”

The beginning of a growl escaped Loki before he could reign it in, “That, my dear…” he went to touch her hand, “… is something I could help with.”

“I had hoped so,” she smiled, “It would be good practice for me.”

“Practice?” that peaked his interest, his head bowing to be closer to hers.

“Yes,” she continued, “For when I see him later.”

Loki immediately dropped her hand and took a step back, “Him? Later?”

She nodded innocently, “Yes, what did you think I meant?”

His mouth remained open, clearly shocked by his misjudgment. “You want me to kiss you just so you can turn around and see another man?”

“I thought you’d be rather excited by the idea,” she said, “Seeing as you are constantly seeking flattery. I’m basically calling you a good kisser and giving you a way out.”

He clenched his jaw, “Who is this man you blush for?”

“A royal.”

“A royal,” he said with a sneer, “And you prefer him?”

“Prefer him over… who?”

His shock was quickly turning into anger and jealousy, a combination of feelings that confirmed his attachment to her.

“I should like to meet him.”

(Y/N) smiled at his avoidance of her question. “I was just thinking of seeing him – perhaps giving him a kiss.” She watched Loki hide his hands behind his back. “Are you going to help me?”

He paced in front of her, “I would like to see this suitor before giving my assistance.”

“Why should that matter? All I need is a practice kiss.”

“I want to meet him first.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Loki would refuse a free kiss,” she smiled victoriously. He was jealous.

He bit back, “Who is he?”

She sighed, warm at the thought of his flustering. “Go look in the mirror. You’ll find him there.”

Loki stared at her for a few tense seconds as the information dawned on him. That wicked smile started to grow as the flush in her cheeks did.

“You little minx.”

~~~

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[unformula1]

everything that’s left (AL12 x reader)

everything that’s left (AL12 x reader)

series masterlist | next part

not everything is gone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing: arthur leclerc x reader | (ex) charles leclerc x reader

w/c: 1587

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a/n: have fun!! i really do enjoy this series, hope you love it too :)))

taglist: @ggaslyp1 @janeholt3 @boherahpsody @kryingkat22 @iamkaku @vizzzashley @mycenterfold

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started with meeting him two weeks into you and Charles’ relationship, all he did was smile at you and wave when you greeted him.

“Meet Arthur. He’s my brother.” Charles says, placing his arm around your shoulder.

Arthur looks up from his phone and flashes a warm smile at you, giving you a slight royal-looking wave. You smile awkwardly and wave back.

He immediately turns back to his phone and Charles pulls you away, bringing you around to see other people.

Then it became ‘hi’s and ‘bye’s, waving when you two saw each other, giving each other smiles and acknowledgement.

“Hi.” You say as you walk past Arthur in the paddock.

“Hello.” Arthur replies, looking up from his phone and smiling slightly.

Slowly but surely you two started chatting, be it across text or in person; these chats were pretty shallow and superficial, talking about the weather and all.

“I saw your instagram post.” You comment.

“You did?” Arthur asks, chuckling slightly.

“Yea. Seems like you had fun.” You say, feeling slightly more comfortable.

“I did.” Arthur replies, smiling.

After that, it slowly evolved into deeper chats, about how having an older brother in the sport gave unreal expectations of him, less about the weather and more about feelings.

“It gets hard sometimes, yea, you get me?” He says, leaning back onto the seat.

“Mhm. Definitely. Must be hard.” You say, still rather uptight when talking to him.

“People expect me to be a carbon copy of him, and when I’m not, I’m just bad.” Arthur continues ranting.

You’re not sure if he’s intentionally ranting or not but you don’t mind. You enjoy listening to him talk about something deep rather than what the sky was looking like.

Then, the chats became more casual, happening anywhere and everywhere. The uptight and tense feeling in your body disappeared slowly and the knot in your stomach slowly faded off.

“And eventually, it all just piles up and it feels like no one is there for me and I feel like killing myself.” Arthur deadpans.

“Okay- first off, NO. You are not doing that. Second off, what do you mean ‘no one is there for you’? What am I? A roach?” You respond, scoffing.

“Listen, I did not mean it like that, sometimes you are too far away.” Arthur says.

“Literally text me.”

“I don’t have your number.”

“You don’t?”

“No.”

“Well what the hell.”

You gave him your number, he gave you his: The start of many random calls and facetimes for whatever reason.

When Charles wasn’t there, the next best option was him. Arthur never hesitated to talk to you or sit with you while you stared into the blank space.

“Do you ever think about how we might not ever meet our soulmate.” You say, staring into the ceiling.

Arthur put down his phone, “I think we all will meet someone we love truly.”

“Mmkay…” You continued staring.

The silence in the room was not tense or awkward, it was more like a calm white noise that gave you a weird sense of clarity.

Finally, when you started losing Charles, Arthur became the first choice. If Charles was being a dick, it was going straight to Arthur. If Charles left you alone, Arthur was there.

You descend into a mess of tears and rambling. Across the phone, you hear shuffling of feet and footsteps.

“Please stay on the phone. I’m coming over.”

You manage out a ‘mhm’ for him.

There’s a short silence.

“Charles would never.” Arthur reassures you, “He’s faithful.”

You hope so too. You desperately hope so.

And now, you laid on Arthur’s couch, curled up in a cradle position, making some very unearthly noises as you cried your lungs out. You think back on everything leading up to this point. 

What did you do wrong? Did you mess up?

Arthur walks back into the living room, holding a warm cup of water. 

“I… uhm… you want water?” Arthur says, giving you the cup of water.

You nod weakly, your entire face red from crying and the dried up tears still on your cheeks. You take the cup of water from him and take a sip of it.

It’s warm, leaning to the hot side but still warm. 

He takes a seat next to you and you shuffle to the side to give him space to sit down. He places his hands on his lap, like the gentleman he is.

“Sorry for…” You sniff, “Barging in randomly when I said I wanted to be alone.”

“It’s okay, really, no problem.” He assures, his hand flying to your shoulder and giving it a slight pat.

“It’s just been really hard and I don’t know why and it’s confusing me so much.” You sigh, sniffing more and holding back some tears.

“I get it. It’s hard… I’m always here for you.” 

I’m always here for you.

I’m always here for you…

It sends some sort of chill down your spine, making you shiver slightly. The words repeat in your head as you try to construct a sentence to respond to him. Charles never really meant it when he said that, now Arthur’s the one saying it. You don’t really know what to say back.

“I hope so.” You say. It comes out a lot more obnoxious than you expected

It clearly takes Arthur aback too, as he hesitates to reply to you, clearly trying to find the right words.

“I will. You can trust me.” He says.

Again, Charles would say that often. You think about all the times he’s said it and all the times he went back on his word.

“Charles said that too.” 

You can feel your emotions taking over, you’re not processing the words you’re saying, every word that spills out doesn’t go through a filter.

Arthur is clearly stumped on what to say next.

Shit. 

You apologise, “I’m sorry, I’m tired, the words aren’t… processing or anything.” Your nose is still blocked.

“It’s alright. I understand.” He says again, still speaking as if you two were having some friendly chat.

You know Arthur’s the kind to speak rationally and methodically approach something but right now all you needed was the Arthur which hugged you when Charles couldn’t.

“Could you… not speak like that.” You blurt out. The words, once again, sounding rather rude.

Arthur raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t want any solutions right now.” You say, slightly frustrated.

Arthur nods, “Sorry. Just… natural instinct.” 

“I just need you to…I don’t even know.” You take a deep sigh again.

Before you can string together another sentence, Arthur slowly shifts closer to you and pulls you in for a slow hug. You don’t fight back.

He pulls you in and pats you on the back, your head lays on his shoulder. It’s warm, very warm. His touch makes you tear up again.

His hug feels genuine, it feels as if he never wants you to leave him. You can’t remember the last time you were hugged like this.

The tears start flowing out again and you let out soft sobs, your head still laying on Arthur’s shoulder. As you sob and eventually start crying again, Arthur doesn’t let go, he doesn’t flinch when you abruptly start crying. He just keeps you within his embrace.

You missed this. You missed everything about this.

“I don’t wanna leave.” You say while crying. You’re not sure how much Arthur heard of that sentence but you couldn’t care less.

Arthur subtly nods and pats you on the back. 

“You don’t have to.” He whispers gently.

Arthur’s gentle whisper makes you feel like crying even more and letting it all out, for real, for once. Everything about the way Arthur dealt with you made you feel safe.

You take a deep breath before releasing all your emotions at once. You don’t even know which emotions are coming out anymore, you just cry, scream and wail. 

Arthur barely moves, once again not flinching at your sudden outburst. He releases you from the hug but keeps holding your hand. You eventually lay down next to Arthur, letting everything that’s bottled up out.

His grip on your hand is firm, and it’s assuring.

“You could stay… for a while.” He whispers again, but loud enough for you to hear.

You nod in response as you gather your emotions. It’s almost impossible to string together a coherent sentence at this point, your entire head is just a messy jumble of memories and everything that’s happening right now but blurred into one.

You really want to stay.

So you do.

About an hour passes before you stop crying and you sit up, taking multiple deep breaths, calming yourself. 

Arthur’s still sat next to you, his hand still holding yours. 

The sky outside is practically dark at this point, most of the city lights have gone off, except the clubs and some houses. Arthur’s been sitting silently next to you.

He’s been for the past hour, letting you have a safe space to pour your feelings out. He turns to you and smiles warmly, like the smile he flashed at you when you first met him, and like the one you so distinctly remember no matter what.

Like the smile you fell in love with when Charles couldn’t afford to give you a glance.

Charles walked out on you, and that took everything left out of you, he left a gaping hole in your heart. Everything disappeared when Charles walked out… everything but Arthur.

[bamboobooshark]

BUCKY BARNES X READER

﹒⌗ ⚜️ ౨ ♰ ˚₊‧ HOLD ON : 2.5K WRDS

<RATING: PG-13, VIOLENCE, DEATH, SIMILAR CONTENT>

This is a lil smthn smthn for my pookie!! This is also my first time writing angst!! So prepare for this to be not so good as my fluff stuff (there is going to be a bit of fluff at the beginning though). !!WARNINGS: angst, character deaths (reader and character), crying, blood, guns, eventual suicide!!

Christmas time. You and Bucky always enjoyed it. The two of you loved the cold weather, the small lights that dimly lit the city at night, the soft layers of snow covering the ground, all of it was so gorgeous. The wind was hitting your faces causing both of your noses to get a bit drippy. Besides all the sniffles and full body shivers, you and Bucky were enjoying you winter night stroll. You held each other’s hands, fingers tightly intertwined to show your affection and to keep warm.

It isn’t long before you two are close to arriving at your apartment building. You can’t tell whether you or Bucky is more excited to cuddle and get cozy, but it doesn’t matter.

It won’t matter.

“Fuck,” Bucky mutters under his breath. He grips your hand tightly. His muscles tense so hard his arm begins to tremble. You shoot him a confused glare. Why is he so shaken? Is he worried? Why won’t he answer you?

You and Bucky thought Hydra was done with him. It had been years since he last had to deal with them. Neither of you would’ve expected to quickly be surrounded by several men; several Hydra workers. This isn’t how this night is supposed to end. You’re supposed to go to your flat and make hot cocoa and cuddle and tell each other how much you admire the other.

“Bucky? What’s going on,” you ask, your voice wavering. He finally looks to meet your eyes. They’re wide and glossy. He’s trying his damned hardest to not show it, but he’s just as terrified as you are. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully. “I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what they want. I don’t know why they’re here,” he rambles. He stands in front of you, gazing into your eyes deeply. “I need you to listen to me, darling. I love you. I always will. There’s never going to be a day where I forget you. I promise I’ll always remember you,” he assures you, now grasping both of your hands tightly and pressing them to his chest. You shake your head in confusion and disbelief. “Bucky, stop. You’re scaring me,” you plead as tears prick your eyes.

“This could go one of two ways, Barnes,” one of the men speaks. Bucky gives him a glare so hard it makes your breath pause for a few moments. He releases your hands and stands tall. You try desperately to grab his hand back, pawing at his fists pitifully. “Let me handle this,” he whispers to you sweetly. You nod in agreement. Though your body is trembling, you stay as still as you can. You feel lightheaded. Your legs feel like they might give out. You can feel the blood leaving your face, your body going cold like you’re dying.

“The easiest way to go about this is to have you step away from your sweetheart and come with us,” the same man says. His arms cross against his chest tightly before he exhales deeply. “But I know, we all know, that you don’t like things to be easy. You want things the hard way,” he says confidently. Bucky practically growls at the way the man speaks. He can feel what might happen next. He doesn’t even take a moment to look at you before he tugs you against his chest. God, his flesh is warm. So warm, so contrasting to the metal hand the presses against your back compared to the one that holds the back of your head protectively. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you take my baby. Not now. Not ever,” he states. His fingers grip onto you tightly like he’ll loose you if you barely slip out of his grasp.

“You’re proving me right,” the man chuckles. The six other Hydra employees surround you and Bucky from a distance. Guns point at you and him from every direction. A knot forms in your stomach. You know that whatever’s about to happen next is inevitable. No matter what either of you do, what either of you say, will save your life or Bucky’s. “I love you, Bucky,” you mutter against the crook of his neck. Hot tears roll down your cheeks while you attempt to hold back your ugly cries. “I know it. I love you too,” he whispers to you, kissing the side of your head.

“No! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bucky yells, choking back tears.

It takes a moment before your body takes in what happened. Your ears ring from the sound of a gun going off. You feel the most intense, stinging pain in your side. Your hands move from your lover’s back to grip your abdomen. You can’t hold back to ugly cries. You begin to whine and wail, yelling Bucky’s name incoherently. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Just give me a second, okay,” he assures as he falls to the ground with you. He holds you closely in his lap, climbing on top of you to protecting you. He does his best to cover your head and chest, that way you can’t be shot again without the Hydra employees shooting him as well. He struggles to shimmy his coat off before ripping a long strip of it off with his teeth, using his metal arm for some extra power. You cooperate the best you can, lifting your stomach and pressing against him so he can wrap the fabric around your waist. You groan loudly in pain as he fastens it as tight as he can. “Shh. I know it hurts, baby. I know. Bare with me, though. This will save your life,” he says as he presses his head to yours.

“I’m not going back to that hellhole,” he declares with nothing but determination in his voice. He’s not letting you die tonight. He’s not going back to Hydra. He’s not allowing himself to forget you. No fucking way. “Step away from them, Barnes. This is your last warning before we have to start using more force than necessary,” the leader says with feigned sincerity. He growls in responde while shaking his head no. He stays pressed to you, not giving any verbal response to the Hydra men. His tears drip down his cheeks and onto your clothes. You’ve never seen him give you such a pitiful, desperate, affectionate gaze. You’re hoping you’ll never have to see him like this again. He whispers how much he loves you, how he can’t wait until you get stitched up so he can hug you as tight as he physically can, that he’s so excited to see your reaction to what he got you for Christmas. You try your best to reciprocate, gritting your teeth and tensing while you speak. You feel like you can barely hold on despite the pressure of his torn coat slowly stopping the bleeding. It feels too late for miracles, for prayers, for anything to stop this.

“Can you hold on for me, sweetheart? Could you do that for me,” he asks tenderly, his warm hand coming down to caress your cheek. You lean into his touch lovingly. You can feel his pulse against your jaw. You can smell his hands; the usual scent of metal mixed with the soap you’d gotten him months ago for his birthday that he refuses to stop using. You nod in response, choking out a “yeah” for him. He smiles softly and nods in sync with you. “Thank you, baby,” he mumbles.

Nothing but a loud exclamation of “no” comes from your mouth.

Two of the men had used the vulnerable, moment to try and pull Bucky away from you. He resisted, kicking, punching, even biting the men to get them off. “I told you I’m not going back! Espically if you kill my damn spouse,” he barks angrily at them. The leader of the group approaches your entangled bodies.

You can feel Bucky’s chest press against you in an almost sedating manner. The way you can feel his heart against yours. His breaths coming out hard and heavy from his chest. The stuttering of his heartbeat from crying so hard. “I’m telling you to leave us alone. Forget about taking me back. Forget about ever shooting them. Just erase this whole thing from your mind and leave us alone,” he pleads with the man. “I’ll take them to the hospital, say it was a hit and run, we all go home, live a happy life, and pretend none of this ever happened,” he says as a demand rather than a deal.

The figure that stood above you two shook his head no while smiling sadistically. “I’m sorry, but that’s not how this works, James,” he chuckles, your partner’s names sounding like poison coming from his mouth. “You either resist and they die, or you come with us and they live,” he says. You look up at Bucky, biting the inside of your cheek. “Bucky, please. I don’t want you to have to go back. Let me,” you pause, struggling to say the next word. “Let me die,” you mutter through heavy sobs. For the first time in a while, Bucky acts aggressive towards you. “Darling there’s no day, time, or universe I’d let you die like this. You’re getting out of this alive,” he promises you. Your tears blur your vision, your boyfriend lovingly wipes them away with his thumb as he looks up at the male. “You’re not taking their life. There’s no way I’m letting any of you take their life away from them,” he states sternly.

“You’re funny,” the Hydra agent says before you both hear the cocking of a gun. Bucky immediately covers your head and heart with his body. You can’t hear anything but his breathing now. His breathing, his crying, his desperation apparent in the way he inhales and exhales. “If you shoot them, you’re shooting me,” he says before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you,” he tells you again. “I love you too,” you say, as a promise more than a statement to him, one more time.

For the last time.

Another stinging pain courses through you before things go black. Bucky pauses in disbelief, in denial that he left the slightest bit of your head uncovered. He yells out your name as loud as he physically can, tears and pain scratching his throat like a cat’s claws. He’s never letting himself down for this. He can’t. He never can. He sobs, crying himself dry until he’s sputtering and coughing dryly. “You’re sick,” he says quietly. “You’re all fucking sick,” he barks loudly as he holds your bleeding head to his chest.

It’s been weeks. The Hydra agents left Bucky alone to grieve with your death, deciding that would be worse than wiping his memory once more and letting him forget you. He hosted your funeral and now holds your ashes in a small charm of a necklace he doesn’t take off. His mechanical arm rusts with some of your blood still on it. He’s been struggling. Despite having a good support system and being surrounded by the people he cares about, he can’t stand not having the one he cares about most around; you.

He sits on the couch in your shared flat. His eyes glance over to your spot. Your blanket is still draped over the top of the couch the way it was when you two went out walking that dreaded night. Your favorite throw pillow lays on top of the cushion. He lets himself silently cry. He can hear your voice. He can see your smile. He can faintly smell your scent on the items you left behind. Fuck, it’s so hard without you. It’s insufferable. It’s quiet. It’s dull. Life feels more lonely than when he first had his memory wiped. His gaze falls on the Christmas tree. He eyes each of the ornaments. You two had been living together for almost four years and you’d trying to collect trinkets or actual ornaments for the tree. He smiles tenderly, each little item holding a loving moment between the two of you. He looks from the star on the top to the presents at the bottom.

With a pained groan, he lifts himself from the couch. He uses the dim lights from the tree’s lights and the cheesy Hallmark movie on the TV like a flashlight to find one specific present. The box isn’t the biggest, but it sure as hell is special. He unwraps the box and holds it in his hands. The red velvet in his hands doesn’t do anything but make him cry harder and smile bittersweetly.

He opens it to reveal or gorgeous engagement ring. The diamonds in the middle form a star, just like the one that was on his mechanical arm when you two first met. He unclasps the necklace that holds your ashes, slipping the ring onto the chain. He closes it back and grips the two small items in his hand so hard, his knuckles turn white.

“I miss you so bad. I’m so sorry you never got to see this ring. I’m sure you would’ve loved it. Maybe you would’ve thought it was stupid,” he says, talking to what remains of you. “I can’t stand not seeing you,” he sighs. He heads to your bedroom. He wipes some of the liquid that driped from his nose before smiling at your side of the bed. It was still neatly made like the way you left it. He loved the way you would make your side of the bed, and even fix up his side if he didn’t. He reached into his bedside table drawer to grab the lockbox stashed under files and random items. He unlocks it and picks up the revolver inside. He always kept it fully loaded in the case that someone broke in and possibly brought a whole team with them. He never thought he’d be using this thing for an emotional emergency rather than a physical threat. He grabs the sweater off the side of your bed that you wore to sleep the night before the walk. It still smelt like you, had your signature scent that he could always recognize. He wrapped it around his neck in a way that represented a hug from you. He grips the ashes and engagement ring once more, the revolver in the other hand. He lays on the ground and sighs peacefully. He’ll see you soon. He’ll be with you. He knows his headstone will look nice next to yours. He knows that flowers will bloom in the dirt near your graves, moss will cover the headstones, and the stones will age old together for you and Bucky since you two won’t get the chance to. “I love you, sweetheart,” he says before pressing a kiss to the charm holding your remains. He inhales deeply, then exhales for the last time in his life, your ashes and ring still gripped in his hand.

You two didn’t get the chance to grow old together. Your headstones will, though. That’s the beauty of it. That’s your proof that you’ll always love each other.

[tsukikumai]

How Vox Akuma, Ike Eveland, Shu Yamino would react to a short skirt.

Luxiem x reader

Established relationship, Fluff!

Vox Akuma

At first, when meeting up with Vox at your front door, he would be pleased to see you in a skirt that showed off your long legs.

He wouldn’t be able to help himself, staring up and down at you.

“Is my skirt too short?” You inquired, slightly flustered.

“It’s perfect,” He leaned in to give you a small kiss. “It seems like it might be a bit windy today though.”

“Oh no.” You frowned, having planned this outfit.

“How about this,” he spoke, one arm around your waist, guiding you back. “Let’s go get you changed into something more suitable for the weather, alright?”

You nodded in response, following his lead.

“Although, I must admit.” He smirked squeezing your waist a bit, “it does make me want to tease you a little bit more.”

=========more under the cut==========

Ike Eveland

You were waiting for the metro with Ike, about to go to a restaurant for some good ramen.

He would have noticed the skirt the moment he saw you step out of the changing room.

But he wouldn’t say anything about it, since he thought you looked cute anyways.

While waiting for the metro though, he noticed how much it swayed in the wind

With a slightly worried look on his face, he takes off his off white jacket he had on, and closes the gap between you two.

“Wha-” you exclaimed in shock. Ike’s head was hovered over your left shoulder, his arms in front of your stomach as he tied his jacket arms into a knot. His scent engulfed the air around you. He sighed a breath of relief.

“Don’t mind me, darling.” He said, while giving you a slight squeeze and a kiss on the cheeks before he let go. “Just for safety measures.”

Shu Yamino

Shu wouldn’t straight away notice how short your skirt was until later. Would probably compliment it while leaving your home.

He would realize that you felt slightly uncomfortable with it when you were walking on the street.

He would be prepared to hand you his jacket if you asked, but you never did, so he took initiative.

“Are you alright?” He asked, “is your skirt too short?”

“Oh, just a little bit.” You replied, “it’s alright though, I just didn’t know it was going to be windy today.”

“Here.” His long fingers held out his plaid hoodied jacket.

“Ah! Are you sure? Won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, babe.” He hangs the jacket over your shoulders. “Just make sure to check the weather next time.”

You hummed a small thanks in response, taking the jacket off your shoulders to tie around your waist.

“…Or you could just wear it at home.”

You shot your eyes up to look at the man, however, his eyes avoided your gaze, looking straight forward. His hand slightly covered his face.

A faint, but noticeable shade of pink was spread across his ear.