#tho i never thought of myself as aro

[aria0fgold]

I just realized something... I don't think I've ever experienced romantic attraction towards anyone, fictional or otherwise. Am I aro???

Felt like I had a sudden revelation and now I'm thinking bout it some more. I know everyone's experience is different but I'm unsure bout this one.

[squuote]

realizing that maybe I am just some crow who does not like labels. or at least using too many

[demonlike-judge-of-fire]

Me realizing i picked my crushes after reading aro people's experiences: 🙂

[miniminijiminni]

just had the realization that im not the type of person ppl fall in love with and i-

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

Thoughts on Shadaria?

ahahaaahudiahwd me in my sonic ship discourse era i see i see. this blog fr reaches new lows every month its amazing

shadow x maria right? sighs. considering... sonic writers i dont think they're officially siblings or anything, and they aren't shown the same dynamic as adoptive siblings like sonic and tails

but that's from an objective standpoint, personally? i feel like it has an obvious layer of familial pure love. shadow really cared for her and i hate hate hate hate how people are unable to see that care as just pure affection for someone he grew up with and instead label it as romantic. i heard "why else would he go that far?" and maybe, just maybe, he is capable of having strong genuine emotions for someone that has absolutely nothing to do with romance. this idea is unheard of and impossible for most people apparently.

i feel like with certain characters and dynamics you actually away whats between the characters and end up simplifying it into something neither of them feel when you ship them. especially true for sonadow too, its like a purposefully ignorant surface level interpterion of character dynamics and it's... annoying. especially when they turn their dynamic to something shown in most medias anyway, why not just go and read or watch a cheap romance then?

[elsa-fogen]

Ngl this is my first thought when i found out i was aroace 😂

Before i found out i was aroace, i thought i was special because girls and boys my age literally just spends all their time talking on and on about their crushes when they could do more productive things like idk studying, reading books or fanfics, freaking finish all the chores so you have free time, draw or whateva your hobbies and talents are, spend time with friends and families, etc.

But when i found out tho; i thought "damn i ain't special? (Tʖ̯T)" I honestly wanted to both choke and hug them at the same time to all the other aroaces out there 😂

Sorry for the long rant i couldn't help myself 😅

You know, so true 😭

I was in 7th grade when girls in my class were talking about who they slept with, like, WE WERE 14, WHAT THE FUCK and it felt like they have NOTHING ELSE to talk about, like, gurl don't you have hobbies or anything better than go to parties and fuck?? Me meanwhile drawing dragons 'n shit in my notebooks. this memory for some reason is very strong in my head.

i thought i just slow developing but 10 years passed, nothing changed, i still don't understand and don't find all of this entertaining or interesting

I think i'm just now discovering that i'm somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum, and mostly thanks to Alastor and how people reacting on my portraying of him, saying that i'm providing good ace rep 😅 And my reaction is like "oh okay then", probably because i never faced the "why r u alone, you need to find a boyfriend" thing (although i think my mom is starting it...)

(tho i'm still not sure, some of this may be caused by some health or mental problems, that's totally possible)

anyway yeah, sorry for that too lmao

[general-yasur]

for once there is a Kai rotating in my head and the result is a sizzling hot take That being: Kai gives me more aroace vibes than Lloyd. There's something about Kai "liking" skylor and then not only never getting her number but it is implied he ghosted her LOL. He acts like a player but also has no game. It reminds me of when I was in elementary school and would pick a boy to "like" because I thought that's just how it works. So he does it to fit in to make up for basically not having a normal childhood. Essentially trying to act what he imagines a teenager is supposed to be like And While I have headcanoned Lloyd as aroace spec, the more I think about it the more I realize he has shown more romantic interest in someone than like half of the ninja lol. Look at it how you want but the oni trilogy is pretty loud that Lloyd has a crush at least and it sorely affected him I see it as Lloyd had the textbook definition allo people have told me when I ask what a crush is like lmaoo and simultaneously something I can't relate to as someone who is aroace myself

If you compare Kai's romantic situation with Lloyd and even Zane, they both have shown more romantic interest in a character than he has. which is ironic because Kai is the playboy and Lloyd n Zane are the aroace characters in fanon, despite canon This kinda fuels my opinion that the fanon view of Lloyd and Zane being aro ace specifically is based on stereotypes of aromantic and asexual people rather than taking a dive at how the characters behave in the show. That is a whole other conversation tho lol

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi!

So i'm aroace - I've known this for years and I've known this since the end of yr 6/beginning of highscool/yr 7 and am quite open about it and most of my close friends know about how i am aroace.

Along with this I have never rlly been interested in romantic relationships - they never seemed all that interesting and even as a kid I could never be bothered to force myself into having crushes (smth ik that some other aro ppl tend to do) or ever thought of the idea of not having romance as being unappealing/sad. I've also never really had strong desires for sexual relationships - to me sex was smth that was overdramatised (like in p0rn, books or fanfiction), something that i was mildly curious about but would most likely never have due to not wanting to have to look for a sexual partner and sometimes feeling borderline freaked out at the thought of being with another person like that.

However I have been curious about QPRs before - until recentrly I didn't know too much about them though after I learnt more I thought that I would want to have one - though I've never really known who I would get into one with/how to ask someone to be in one with me.

Recently there is this girl who I am friends with who I think I would like to be in a QPR with - we've been friends since around 2022 and she's awesome! I rlly love spending time with her and all of that + I think that being in a QPR wouldn't change too much other then maybe one or two ways that we interact + having a label on it.

However she is allo and though ik that allo ppl can be in QPRs and also she isn't a huge romantic and has only had like, 1 crush a year ago, I also know that she probably doesn't know what a QPR means and I wouldn't want her to think that it would get in a huge way of if she even did want to have a romance ig?(I don't see this as likely bc to my knowledge she's had 1 crush throughout her entire life + moved on fast afterwards and hasn't rlly had another one but I don't rlly understand romance and ik that ppl can get crushes whenever and stuff).

I also happen to be a very nervous person - meaning that if I had to ask + tell her what a QPR is I would most likely chicken out or feel extremely anxious and not even finish or give her information that wasn't 100% correct.

Also she's smart enough to do her own research and stuff (which considering how bad i am at explaining things would be for the best) but she wouldn't do research if she didn't think it was all that relavant to her. By that I mean like - she knows what being aroace is, but she doesn't know a lot of in-depth stuff bc she just asked me some questions and to her knowing her friends feelings was enough. And I have very little idea of how to casually drop the words Queer Platonic Relationship so that she will just go and do some research for it.

Plus I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable bc she could liken me asking to a confession even tho it's not rlly one + if we were to be in one we happen to go to a school that has both a younger and older sibling which could end up meaning that even if she understood they could end up thinking she's queer and idk how her family would take that/I wouldn't want her to get in trouble or anything.

i’m not sure if you want advice or just to vent, since you didn’t specify, so i’ll just say that if you wanted you can try mentioning qprs in a context not related to you and see what she says, and go from there. good luck!

[phoelipop]

I finally started reading Loveless and its been so painfully relatable like nothing I've ever experienced before

Back in 2015 was when I first learned about asexuality but I was in denial for a while because I didn't think it was real / just thought it was an internet thing. After learning more about it, I realized how much it aligns with my life and experiences I had growing up... but I didn't wanna believe that was me.

Around 2018 was when I fully accepted that I'm ace, I know that without a doubt. I never liked using labels for myself but once I found about asexuality it felt so freeing, knowing the way I am is perfectly fine and normal and that there are others like me.

And for the past year and a half I guess I've been having that same battle with myself over whether or not I'm aro too. I've never had an actual relationship (that i wanted to be in), nor have I ever really wanted one. Like others, I also forced myself or lied about crushes to fit in, never wanted to pursue a relationship with anyone tho. It's all what friends ever cared about, and yeah it's normal! But growing up not actually wanting those things made me feel very not normal.

But I'm human, I don't want to be alone. We're raised to believe romantic love is the one goal in our society and you're miserable without love. I've never been miserable not having a relationship, the only time i was was when I thought I had to and forced myself into them, just because someone liked me i thought I would start to like them back if i tried. I didn't of course and it was terrible. But I still wanted to be open to the possibility that one day I'll meet someone that will change all that. I don't really think that's possible for me and, I'm just starting to believe that's ok now.

Selfship always felt safe for me since it's fiction, and I did try to find friends and a sense of community through it, but again learned even in this I'm different. It's different for everyone though, but even with selfship sometimes I find it hard to relate to others when it comes to expressing love. I dunno… But I've always been happy with my fictional loves and my friends + family, that has always been enough for me.

This book has also made me want to be a better friend… I admit I've been so distant lately with everything going on in my life rn its been hard to see my worth sometimes and believe that I'm actually loved by my friends but trying to work on it… platonic love is just as important, even more so especially for us aroace-spec peeps

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Unrelated to this episode but as a twin, everytime I remember Lark had an affair with Sparrow’s wife, I’m just… in disbelief. Like, I hate when people ogle at my twin and I, and are like “WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A TWIN!” “I WISH I WAS A TWIN!” “WOW! HAVING A TWIN IS HAVING A BUILT IN BESTFRIEND!” However, weird objectification aside, they’re not wrong. I DO have a close bond with twin that I don’t with anyone else. For most of my life (and all my childhood), we were on the same wavelength emotionally speaking. Obviously we had put diffrences, but the way we viewed the world and reacted to things emotionally was almost the same. In middle school, we both were struggling mentally, but we understood each other, she felt like the only irl person who truly understood what I was going through, because she was going through it too. To me, our relationship is taken for granted. No matter what happens, how much we fight or bicker, I have never once in my life doubted whether she loved me or not. Her love has always been, and still is, the strongest constant in my life. And even though the way we view the world and act emotionally is no longer exactly the same, she is still the one person I feel understands me the most.

And that’s why, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that Lark did that. How could he have done that. I could NEVER, see myself betray my sister like that. And yes I’m young, and ace (and on the aro spec), so you could argue it’s not the same but like, even if I were allo, I just, can not see myself having an affair WITH MY TWIN’S S.O.! (also I just hate the idea that cheating is just a thing that happens sometimes like, I’m sure there are relationships that recover from that, but come one, seriously it’s so easy to not cheat) The worst part is that I still think Lark loves Sparrow. Scratch that, I know he still loves Sparrow. I’m not good at wording it, but the best example I can think of, is Lark pretending to be Sparrow so that he could fix Sparrow’s relationship with Normal, so that Sparrow doesn’t have a bad relationship with their son. I’m thinking of that person who made a post about how Lark shows love and I wish I could remember so that can point to that, but it mentioned Lark sewing bulletproof into Normal’s suit. Anyway, Lark LOVES Sparrow, and they are each other’s world. The problem is that they’re codependent with each other, which can make them enable their worst attributes, or let them brush things off that shouldn’t be brushed off.

I can’t imagine doing what Lark did to Sparrow, to my sister. Idk how my sister could EVER forgive such a betrayal. I know some romantic couples can genuinely work together to overcome an affair, so I guess that can be applied to platonic and familial situations as well. But still, Sparrow TRUSTED Lark more than anyone else in his life, for Lark to break that that trust, it just… idk. Also, I definitely understand why Sparrow forgave Lark, they can’t lose their only family left. They are each other’s world. Especially after everything they’ve gone through. Tho I will say, I don’t think Sparrow’s just completely over it either. His wife and brother had a fucking affair together. That has to hurt. Plus, there are little lines when referring to Normal that Sparrow’s said that leads me to believe that Sparrow has some unprocessed feelings about the affair pushed deep, deep down to keep peace.

I wonder how much thought Anthony put into to that plot point. Most of the times it’s played as joke but if you think about it for 2 seconds it’s so fucked. But Anthony cares too much about the kiddads for me to believe it was just a joke, like the Hermie’s dads situation. I wonder what made him think this is a thing Lark would do.

This isn’t supposed to be an “I HATE LARK” post. I think he’s a very interesting character, the way he’s reacting and processing to everything that happened in S1 and S2 is fascinating. And just to reiterate, I know he still loves Sparrow. But still, I keep thinking about how do you betray the person who’s your whole world, who you arguably love the most. Or guess, my real question is WHY. What has going on in his head that led him to doing that. Even from a more selfish standpoint, I don’t think Sparrow currently trusts, or will ever trust Lark the way he did pre-affair. And I don’t think Lark is stupid enough to believe having an affair with Sparrow’s wife wouldn’t irrevocably change their relationship.

I wish I could be more eloquent, but I always forget and every time I remember what he did I just don’t know how to feel about it. Idk, I just keep thinking about them. I can’t help it, I’m a latino twin, they were handcrafted for me.

If you have any thoughts on this, PLEASE DO SHARE THEM WITH THEM WITH ME. (also idk if this conversation’s already been had but I haven’t engaged)

Ps: something, something Lark hates himself so much he tries to ruin his relationship with Sparrow because he feels like he doesn’t deserve love, not even from Sparrow. Yah started thinking about it outside my perspective. I can see that being his reasoning, but still…I just, I can’t image actual doing that. But yah, I think I’m satisfied with that reasoning.

[aromanticmina]

my aplatonic experience!

I haven't seen many posts about aplatonic people's experience with being apl, so I thought I'd share a little bit of my own here! hopefully it will help questioning folks and anyone else who wants to learn more about aplatonicism!

I'll start this with saying, this only one way of identifying with the label, and that other aplatonics might have a completely different experience,and that's alright!

I've always wanted friendships since I was little,"mlp: friendship is magic" was my favorite show for awhile and I've always wanted deep connections, but no matter how much I tried,none of the "friends" I'd make made me feel that deep of a connection with them,no matter how much I liked spending time with them.

there was a time where I just called everyone I liked to hang out with a friend,even if most of the time it felt a little forced (to me),even if it didn't felt quite right, I'd just casually throw a "yeah that's my friend" because, if the people I enjoyed talking with weren't my friends,then who were?

At one point in the beginning of my teen years I stopped considering everyone I liked or cared about a friend, after distancing myself from a toxic friendgroup I jumped in in hopes of finally having the fabled "best friends" (twice), and going solo on most school work/activities afterwards for a year since group activities weren't all that obligatory and my teacher said it was fine if I did it alone.

Even when I got myself a "school partner" and we grew a kinda close, I didn't actually consider her my friend until our final year in highschool, and it was because I had known and liked her for 5+ years by then and it was "just logical for her to be my friend" and not because I "platonically loved" her.

I don't love people platonically (or romantically since I'm also aro), I don't know how to form deep connections and it takes awhile for me to actually consider someone a friend. I don't mind when people call me their friend tho,I actually appreciate it (which makes me platonic-favorable ig) and I still find myself yearning for that perfect friend group sometimes.

I have realized tho, that the communities I'm part of are enough for me,both online and irl,people who while not being really close to me, make me laugh and smile and some even make me feel understood.

When I stumbled across the aplatonic label,I didn't want to accept it at first, if I don't feel romantic or platonic love,will I be alone forever?

But no one is never fully alone, neighbors,pets,the kind lady of the bakery,the funny guy at the bus stop,all of those are people who you could have a nice interaction with.

And even if you were alone,you still have yourself and world ahead of you! you can be happy by yourself,I'd like to say that I love myself,although of course everyone has their bad days sometimes.

I'm aplatonic, and I wouldn't want to be anyone but me!

[aroaceconfessions]

When I found out I'm aro-ace, I started to think again about every time I had "a crush" or someone asked me out.

Everytime someone wanted to go on a date with me, I had to say no, I always declined, I didn't know why until I discovered what aspec is, I just wanted to be friend with them, nothing more. And at that time I already knew that what I thought romantic love was wasn't what thé society think love is, turns my idea of "romantic love" was always platonic. I never forces myself into a relationship that would make me feel uncomfortable and I'm so proud of mini-me for that.

But I also found out that everytime I had "a crush" it never was romantic. I thought it was because of my friends. They convinced me to think I was in love with someone. And now I understand why I "lost my feelings" for them in à week when I had to pronounce thé word "crush". Because it wasn't a crush. It was just me platonically loving someone. And when I platonically love someone, I show them I love them.

Maybe they misinterpret this with romantic affection. Even tho my friends knew I was aro-ace. I think they just never understood, maybe they didn't want to understand. I don't know, I'll never know, and I don't care.

Because now I know why I'm like this, I know I'm ok, I know I'm not broken, I know people who understand me. Now I have real friends who will understand and accept me for who I am. And I'm so glad for that.

I love myself. Being aro-ace is a part of me. So I love that part of me, and embrace that part of me, and I'm proud of that part of me.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

Preach to me Aro Dipper. Heh. Especially deriving from the show contents (like his crush on Wendy and Roadside Attraction)

Also, not sure if this also has been asked, but which is your fav GF episode?

literally stopped my titanic watch for this for a sec. preach aro dipper? well, baby, call me john of patmos, because im about to wax some sonnets while eating strange mushrooms. ;)

okay i tried to write an essay but No. instead we get bullet points i always am able to write bullet points easier. HERE WE GO--

- love god. 1) despite being super focused on romance and robbie's problems, we never hear about dipper's crush on wendy again. like--once the crush is addressed as unattainable, dipper drops it. its like that realization you had as a kid when the "crush" you had will never love you back, and you're relieved. you don't have to worry about it or put on anything anymore.

- while i dont doubt some of that crush was genuine, some of it could/must have been (subconsiously) ramped up. dipper convincing himself that he's got a Big Crush so he cant say anything to her, but really, he just wouldn't be ale to do it. even with the age gap and shit, he's kinda like "saving her feelings". hm

- roadside attraction. trying to give/force himself into romantic attraction FR. even tho it might be to "get over wendy" i dont buy it. he's at the "im a freak for not loving someone like that" stage i can TELL.

- dipper has that thing where he sees a girl, gives himself thoughts like "oh i definitely like her, i could see myself havibg a crush on her" and then doing the pick up line thing. its what i used to do ngl. hype myself up without knowing whether or not the feelings were Real, exactly

idk. god im so. scattered. but!!! aro dipper is so dear to me 😭😭😭 trust me on that. beautiful

[fanfic-inator795]

It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep both because I’m too awake and because my cat keeps getting in my face, and for whatever reason I’m in the mood to talk about my aromantic journey.

I’m not sure how many aros/allos had this experience, but I distinctly remember trying to force crushes as early as elementary school. I’d have no real reason why other than ‘hey, the girls in the cartoons I watch have crushes, so I should too. If Helga Pataki is out here daydreaming about her wedding, I should too!’

Never mind the fact that I barely even knew the boy I was drawing myself at the altar with, I just knew he was nice - and after a month AT MOST I’d just never talk to or think about him again. At that time I really was so much in my own world that I really did have one or two close friends and then a bunch of acquaintances because we had all went to the same elementary/middle school.

The closest thing I ever got to a ‘boyfriend’ of sorts was this guy in high school who was a year older than me. We were both in our school band’s brass section (different instruments tho, I can’t remember if he was trombone or tuba) and he was practically the definition of a safe guy.

Beyond the fact that we were both in band, we both liked cartoons and liked talking about cartoons. I even shared my fanfiction with him and he was always nice to me. We were good friends, and again with how many Friends to Lovers plots I saw on TV, I just had kind of a “yeah, if this happens I could live with it” mentality.

I told myself that I had a crush on him, but honestly I think I was just really happy to have a close friend. All our ‘dates’ were to the movies, but I always cared more about the movie itself and then talking about it with him afterwards (wasn’t that the whole point of going to the movies with someone, I wondered, completely missing and ignoring the OTHER point of movie dates)

We held hands once while watching one of our school’s musicals (couldn’t focus too much on whether or not I enjoyed it tho since I was suffering with a headache at the time. fucking Annie. Still hate those songs :P) I also remember him giving me these hugs that felt very long, and I remember asking my one friend if that seemed weird to her, not hating these hugs but not enjoying them as much as I probably should have either.

Things reached a culmination with prom. We had a two-hour late start on Valentine’s Day that year, and while I had bought him a Reese’s heart, I remember feeling nervous about possibly receiving some sort of grand prom-posal in return, and was relieved when the late start messed up his plans. I was already not feeling the whole prom thing, with my mom straight up telling me “if someone asks you, you’d better accept!” as a response. Sure enough, he asked me and I wasn’t sure how to say no.

Thankfully as I said, he was a truly nice guy, and when he saw my hesitation he suggested an alternative: a movie, supper at Applebee’s (aka the closest thing you get to fairly nice dining in a small Midwest town) and then the after-prom carnival. I instantly agreed. At the time I told myself the reason why I didn’t wanna go to actual prom was because I was shy, hadn’t had good experiences at other school dances and didn’t want to get all dressed up. All honest reasons that I’m sure did play a big part, but I think my unknown-at-the-time uncomfiness with personal romance also played a part.

Before then, I can remember pondering over my date-lessness, acknowledging how weird it probably was that I had never kissed anyone and how possible it was that I’d just stay a virgin… and those thoughts were just that, thoughts. No angsting, just a passing “yeah, I guess that is weird” and then moving on, never really feeling passionate enough or worried enough to properly dwell on it.

Anyway, as I said before, the most enjoyable and memorable part of my prom night was seeing Aardman’s “Pirates: Band of Misfits” (still a great movie). Afterwards, we continued hanging out until he graduated and went off to college, and while we hung out a couple more times after, it didn’t take us long to loose touch.

I remember the last time we hung out feeling so damn anxious and not really knowing why, to the point of nearly canceling our meet-up. Then we did meet up, we talked, had a chill and friendly time - and again, SUCH a relief without really knowing why.

My last real ‘experience’ with romance was in college with another ‘safe’ guy from one of my classes. I thought I liked him, he somehow noticed and asked. I said yes, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time, and i was just like “oh, okay, no worries”. And that was that, no second thoughts.

Outside of that, I explored my maybe-bisexuality through RPs with the person who had not only become my best friend (love you Tessa ^v^) but who first taught me what asexuality was. I came to a conclusion that ‘hey, I think I’d be okay with dating girls actually, cause girls are pretty and these girls I’ve been hanging out with during study abroad are really nice’. Again, when you grow up with 1-2 close friends AT MAX per grade/per school, genuine friendship seems like the biggest thing in the world (and tbh it is, at least to me but I’m sure not to others, not to the same extreme I mean).

I graduated college without ever having a boyfriend, a girlfriend or even a first kiss - and being pretty okay with that. I knew 100% at that point that I was a proud asexual who thought sex seemed sorta boring at best and gross/painful at worst, easily falling into the neutral/repulsed side of things. I kept using the bi label (and for what it’s worth, it still half-fits since, when it comes to the animated characters I’m attracted to, I’m still good with both) until a year or two ago when I fully accepted that I was likely somewhere on the aro spectrum as well - and much like when I realized I was ace, it suddenly made a lot of things make more sense.

So here I am, a happy ace/aro woman who gets to live with my best friend and our two cats - and after over 10 years of friendship (longest, most meaningful and least fairweather friendship I’ve ever had, next to the one I have with my brother) and about two years of getting to live with her and have fun with her and be there for her in all the ways she’s there for me - in all honesty, I truly can’t think of a better outcome ^v^

[watchyourbuck]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 & @lover-of-mine thank you guys!!!🥺🫶🏼

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 14, although it certainly feels like more bc i have compilations of drabbles

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

I have 111.881 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

As of right now, I'm only writing for 911, but I used to write for spn, suits and the mcu. the only one of those i see myself going back to is spn, the others are long gone obsessions.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(the ones that arent linked are bc i dont really like them anymore). Louis' Little Word Play (Pair: Marvey form Suits). Dangerous Posession (MCU). To fall for a stark (MCU). A Night to Remember (Pair: Marvey from Suits). I'll Guide You Through (Buddie).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I respond to them all! Im pretty sure ive missed some along the years tho.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i feel like i have only one with an angsty ending and its bc i used to think they all had to have a happy ending dfghjjhgfg anyway, its my latest one Not your fault (but mine)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Its an MCU one, they end up getting married lmao.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

sometimes but its not a lot. sometimes id write something unrealistic within the rules of the AU and they would criticize me but i usually just took it as cc.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes ma'am, a lot LMAOO. I have written pretty much anything, including watersports (which are not my thing but i had it as a request). Only thing ive never written is r*pe or cnc, and skat. no thank uuu.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont believe i have. i wrote a foursome once but they were all from the same world.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a fic per se, but an idea.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! One time to russian and one time to spanish. i felt really authory FGHJHGH. literally felt like i had made it lmaoo.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I had a big project with one of my mcu friends from back in the day but we never did it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

i think destiel and buddie. they’ve been my roman empire.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It was a high school AU for the mcu. i loved it so, but i dont really enjoy the mcu anymore and i just dont have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think im very good at descriptions of both place and thoughts. i feel like i used to be really good at smut bc i would write so much of it lmao. i hope i still got it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing something, for once. wrapping up is also really hard. happy endings that dont feel like a low budget romantic movie (im a rejection-aro bro lmao).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Well spanish is quite easy bc its my mother language. other than that, if its not one of the 8 i speak, then i wouldnt feel comfortable unless i have someone fluent helping me (not google).

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

i wanna say spn (destiel) but i never posted it bc it wasnt very good (i was 15 and my english wasnt as good as it is rn), but i did end up posting a destiel fic this year (my first!): The way it should've been

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

okay so my favorite fic so far is the Prince AU (buddie), which i havent finished nor posted. i literally have written 2 chapters of it but its just... my baby. now posted posted i think its the one i just linked in the prior question. i just love the way i portrayed each of the character's thoughts.

tags! (no pressure tho): @housewifebuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiediaztho @forthewolves @fortheloveofbuddie @butraura @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @fionaswhvre @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz 💗✨

[allen309]

My nighttime meds decided not to work last night, so I spent part of my night revisiting my identity. It’s been about a year since I discovered myself. Dropping out of college and having my mental health being better-ish, I thought it was time to revisit. I found out that Gender Apathetic is also known as Apagender (which I have no idea how to pronounce at the moment).

This is more of a general ranting post (if that’s the right term). There’s only so much that I autistically can talk to myself about, especially when it’s the same conversation over the course of a year. I don’t have answers for everything and there’s only so much Reddit reading that I can do… I promise this isn’t my autistic hobby. I was doing research on the LGBT for my OC’s, and that’s how I discovered myself. Now that my characters are mostly developed, I have no use for all the research that I did except for being more aware of other gender identities and learning more about the LGBT community.

I’m closeted except for online and a few close friends. I don’t feel the need to come out to people that I personally know, since I don’t feel that my identity causes me any issues. I’ve been way more open about my identity with my closest friend (friends for about 8 years) and vice versa. Because my other two friends are straight and my friend of 8 years is still figuring themselves out; not my story to tell. But they’re the only other LGBT member that I know, and we’ve never interacted with members of the LBGT on a large scale, only close friends or family. My friend has a bit more exposure than me; I have no family that I know of who are LGBT.

I live and grew up in a small town that doesn’t have any LGBT groups. There are people from the LGBT community that exist in the small town, but you have to know them to find them.

Yeah, I was excited to finally meet and talk to another member of the LGBT who is from the city. YouTube is great and all, but being autistic it feels better to talk to someone in person or directly to someone in some way. Although, I didn’t initiate the conversation that was my friend because I wasn’t sure how to bring up the conversation without being too… abrasive. Tho I never brought this up with my friend, so I was actually very surprised when they brought up the conversation, but since the conversation it kinda feels like it never happened. It was only a few days ago, almost a week.

This individual is a member of the LGBT, but isn’t as active within the community. They’re just living their life and being openly LGBT when they want others to know. But if asked any questions regarding who they are, they are not afraid to answer and talk about who they are.

Being able to talk and connect with another member of the LGBT in person, especially outside of our small town, felt really nice. Tho I felt like I was being rude, bombarding them with so many questions, especially ones that I felt could be personal, but they were very polite and open and made sure that all of our questions were answered. They also enjoyed talking and asking me questions about what it is like being gender apathetic and what is pan aro/ace.

Like I mentioned above, my friend was also talking and asking questions, but that’s not my side to talk about. Just want to clarify that it was a conversation between three people and me and my friend’s identities are different... I wasn’t just being asked about my identity, my friend was also talking about theirs.

Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m making this post. Kinda just want to talk. Living in a small town can be tough, especially when I���m autistic and have mild social anxiety. I don’t feel like there’s enough people to just rant to.