#those nuts look like beans

[kateksmallcuteowl]

June 29: Single Parents/Uncles AU for an event by @bagginshieldweek24

I deeply regret that the challenge is a day late! Exams are merciless to me, and even though I started drawing in advance, I still couldn’t handle the deadline 😅 I promise to catch up with feedback tomorrow, after passing bioinformatics exam.

More headcanons and details under the cut>>

— It’s an alternative Middle-earth universe with hobbits, humans, dwarves, and elves, but set in modern times.

— Thorin grew up in Erebor in a royal family (which makes sense), is accustomed to good coffee, can distinguish different types, and knows which brewing devices are best. Now he has moved to London for work and discovered that both dwarf and human coffee shops would often use cheap beans or bad coffee machines, or they grind the beans incorrectly, or even set the wrong amount of grams of coffee per espresso shot. In general, they save money wherever they can, mostly selling the vibe and relying on the fact that taste isn’t important to most of the customers. Elves occupy the niche of coffee connoisseurs, but Thorin would rather drink filter coffee from a kettle on the roadside than go to elves. And then he discovers that hobbits, little hedonists, love good food and GOOD COFFEE! Of course, in hobbit cafes, he has to sit on low chairs and by the small tables, and at first, the other patrons looked at the dwarf in their company strangely, but it’s worth it. Thorin is willing to sit with a bent back if he gets a quiet and cozy atmosphere, excellent Wi-Fi, and delicious coffee (an office in London is good, but sometimes you need to get out of the four walls to not get nuts).

— Thorin rarely drinks pure espresso, preferring softer variations. He also has a sweet-tooth.

— Bilbo is a children’s book writer, mainly known for a series of fantasy novels about a brave hobbit who traveled over and under the mountains, rode in barrels, and played riddles in the dark (Bilbo, in canon, wrote his memoirs, which all hobbits except Merry and Frodo knew primarily for Hobbiton children, so I think he would primarily write for little hobbit kids).

— It’s not a real feather he uses, but a ballpoint pen with attached feathers, like those sold in souvenir shops. Bilbo bought it after a tour to the Tower of London. He likes the ✨vibe✨ and the fact that he can twirl the feather part around his lips when he’s thinking. (It’s literally an instruction on how to seduce Thorin)

— Mr. Baggins only drinks doppio. The cup is big compared to him because it’s hobbit ceramics, and the portion sizes for hobbits, who love treats, are no smaller than human ones.

— Bilbo has taken care of Frodo since his parents drowned in an accident. Frodo is about 8-9 years old here.

— I love the headcanon that hobbits’ ears react to their emotions, so the fact that Frodo doesn’t lower them when Bilbo scolds him is a good sign. Bilbo is a good uncle.

— Thorin and Bilbo have seen each other several times on Wednesdays. Usually, they don’t care about other patrons, but barista keept trying to serve a doppio to the stern scowling dwarf in black leather jacket, and a cappuccino with whipped cream to the little curly hobbit in a plaid sweater. They’ve had to swap their drinks several times.

— Thorin read Mr. Baggins’ books to his nephews in Erebor and quickly figured out who always sits at the table near the window in his favorite cafe. Thorin likes Bilbo’s books but doesn’t know if he’s married because he keeps his personal life private. Seeing Frodo, he immediately assumed he was Bilbo’s son, considering how the little hobbit looks at him.

— Bilbo immediately noticed the stern ( handsome) dwarf sitting with his eyes glued to his phone, but he always felt too awkward to speak with him. How do you even start a conversation with a stranger, especially from another race? So when Frodo, rather bluntly, commented on his appearance, of course, Bilbo was embarrassed. No, he absolutely agrees with Frodo. The exotic braids, unusual for short-haired hobbits, look amazing on the tall dwarf, and the iron clips highlight his blue eyes perfectly, but isn’t that a bit rude to point that out? Wouldn’t a dwarf decide that he is trying to mock his culture?

— Bilbo saw that while he was scolding Frodo, Thorin turned away and for some reason tugged angrily at his braid, so he decided to muster the courage and compliment him himself to ease the awkwardness and not seem rude (not at all because he would gladly say what Frodo did himself and not because Mr. Dwarf has much more attractive features he’d also like to make a comment on, not at all, what are you talking about, no-no-no).

— The dwarf didn’t seem offended at all.

— They started talking and found out that Thorin’s nephews love Bilbo’s books (Bilbo was flattered by this news. He’s still surprised when his books are read by anyone other than hobbits. (Gandalf didn’t tell him that his books are popular among all races. Mostly because for other races they play the role of kids books where main protagonist is a cute mice)).

— And in the end, as we see, they exchanged numbers 🌚🌝

— They will meet again, but without Frodo and not just for coffee.

— The end✨✨✨

I’m still experimenting with a flat-color style and lineart so I’ll be glad to know what do you think about it. Hope the comic was enjoyable!

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

A/N: Reader is on their period and feeling under the weather. Daryl goes above and beyond caring for them. "Hey," you murmured, wandering into the kitchen, awake but definitely not fully.

Daryl turned away from the steaming pots on the stove and the scattered ingredients over the counter. "Oh—hey. Shit, I didn't—I hope I wasn't bein' too loud out here. Did I wake ya up?"

You shook your head vaguely, letting your eyes wander over the kitchen chaos to a couple books open on the table. "No. You didn't wake me up... what's—what's going on out here?"

Daryl hastily wiped his hands on a nearby towel which he then slung over his shoulder in a purely domestic move that had you smiling despite your exhaustion. "How're ya feelin'? Any better?"

"Still tired. Just really tired," you mused, wandering toward the books. "Daryl—what is all this stuff?" you asked again.

He shook his hair back out of his face. "Well—uhh—I talked to Denise and she let me borrow these books on nutrition so I looked up, um..." He shuffled the books out of the way. "I looked up what to do to help with the low iron and anemia ya get pretty much every month...like now. And then I went to the pantry and got—well, c'mere—" You were staring at him with an unreadable expression but drifted over toward the stove, following him. "I got dried beans and lentils and I found some seeds for spinach so I planted those in a container but yer gonna have to wait for that a bit... and I found some dried fruits and nuts that should be good too. Ain't as good as iron from meat but the game's still scarce so..." he trailed off and then glanced at you almost hesitantly. "Wish I could just go pick up a steak and some eggs for ya but—"

"You did all this because I get low iron from my stupid uterus every month?"

He nodded and shrugged. He still couldn't read your expression. Maybe you thought he'd gone a bit overboard. "Yeah..." He jabbed his thumb in the direction of the steaming pots on the stove. "Dinner'll be done soon."

Your expression cracked and he saw tears in your eyes. "Daryl—" You threw your arms around his neck and arched up onto your toes to hug him, your body flush against his. "That's the nicest fucking thing," you managed through the lump of emotion in your throat.

His arms draped around your lower back and pressed you in tight against him. "Ain't nothin'. 'M sorry ya gotta deal with this shit every month. How things are now just makes everythin' harder..."

You sniffled and pulled back, mopping your tearstained cheeks with your sleeve. "You make them easier," you said, smiling at him fondly.

He ducked his head a little bit and shrugged again. "I'd—I'd do anythin' for ya."

You laughed and more tears broke from your eyes again. You pressed a hand to clasp his face fondly. "I'd do the same for you, you know."

He nodded. "I know. Now, c'mon. Sit down. Dun wear yerself out." He guided you over to a chair and you obeyed, still looking at him with gratitude and some disbelief at this man who called you his and really would do anything for you.

A/N: Guys, my heart! UGHHHHH <3

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Nonhuman AU Jack.

Wolf beastmen are naturally bigger than their cousin, the dog beastmen.

Has black claws.

His fur is so freaking fluffy and he has so much of it. Arms, legs chest, underarms, floof happy trail, above his tail. It's perfect for shoving your face in. Be careful not to get it in your mouth.

Said fur is something he has a lot of and it’s thick. As a result, he has some problems with overheating, more so in the summer. Till his winter coat shades and… it's a lot and gets everywhere. It's around that time he’ll need to be taken outside a few times and given a good brushing. That floof will go everywhere and the local bird will wait nearby to take that floof going around for their nests. It's good quality nesting stuff and the birds want it. 

A wolf pup’s eyes are blue at birth. Their eyes turn yellow by the time they are eight months old. This was also the case for Jack when he was a baby.

Is fully capable of crunching bones with his jaw and there's a local butcher back home that he and his family like to get those along with meat.

Like a regular wolf, Jack has a light-reflecting layer on his eyes, also known as tapetum lucidum and it makes his eyes glow in the dark and he also has good night vision.

I found out ravens often follow wolves to grab leftovers from the hunt—and to tease the wolves. They play with the wolves by diving at them and then speeding away or pecking their tails to try to get the wolves to chase them. Imagine Crowley liking to bother Jack...until Owl Rook shows up cuz owls also have some beef with corvids.

“Wolves howl to contact separated members of their group, to rally the group before hunting, or to warn rival wolf packs to keep away. Lone wolves will howl to attract mates or just because they are alone.” Kinda funny if certain beasties like him howl when they want to hang with their homies. You end up hearing random howling during a normal school day. Also, him howling because he's trying to attract his mate (you) and just looking at you expectedly after.

He tries to seem cold and distant at first but that doesn't last too long, still a tsundere about things though. The others keep pointing out how he helps you out more than he does his other friends. Well, obviously it's because the human needs more help things being weak and all…totally no other reasons.

You know those lines about how he messed up making that flower crown his sister wanted and how she ended up crying? And then he smooshed all those macaroons during the cooking thing? Yeah, he’s cononly bad with delicate things and even more so with those claws in the nonhuman au, he asks for your help with delicate things and offers to help you with other things in return. Lifting heavy things, reaching, scaring off other guys. Though he already does all that without even being asked. He also likes comparing your hands but gets annoyed at you calling his paw pads toe beans. He has mostly human hands, he just has the patting on his fingertips along with the pad on his palm...and he has claws....and fur on the top part of his hand....yeah mostly human hands.....

One time he got a tail sprang because being around you makes his tail go nuts. The others teased the hell out of him for it.

Wants you two to do things together and convinced you to try going for runs with him, unfortunately, you couldn't keep up with his big wolfie self. But when you were about to mention it he suddenly picked you up and carried you for the rest of the run saying something about adding this to his routine to make him stronger. It does become a part of his morning running routine.

A wolf pack may contain just two or three animals, or it may be 10 times as large. Once you guys become friends he decides the two of you are your own little pack and expects you to know that.

The two of you are around each other…a lot and not just because you guys share classes. However, he does insist on sitting next to you for each class. Wolves are pack animals after all. Always staying close. Walking you back to your dorm, making sure you have lunch together, and even taking food from his plate to add onto yours, kinda hovers around you, and wants you to either join his club or hang out where it's happening.

I hope you're prepared for wolf kisses once you're together. Now regular wolves do it for a few reasons. To show affection, say hello, to show respect, to see if you are sick, to see if you've eaten anything good. Wolfs with human handlers will even do it to them and they have to keep their lips shut really tied or else they’ll get sloppily frenched. Jack is gonna have some deep wet kisses, and straight up lick your teeth. And your face…and your neck…and…

He’s totally going to try grooming you the wolf way and get growly if you push his face away.

You will be scented often. When he sees you in the morning, before you leave, after a shower, after he smells someone else on you.

Keep a lint roller handy cuz of this guy.

When you are alone he’s a lot more affectionate and especially loves getting scritches on his ears, chest, and above his tail. You're the only person he will let rub his tummy in his full wolf form. You might even catch him making wolfie noises when you find a good spot to scratch. 

He really likes it when you help him with his grooming, and with his kind of fur, he needs it often.

With wolf courting he will do with you what males do with females regardless if you're a guy, gal, or nonbinary pal. 

 With regular wolfs it usually involves the male following the female around and the female allowing him to approach her. They may vocalize, scent mark, and chase each other around. They may also touch noses, lick muzzles, mouth each other, bump bodies, groom, and nibble coats, the male may bow to the female, toss and tilt his head, and walk and sleep close together.

So, you not pushing him away is something he’ll take as you be cool with it. Tests things out with some nuzzles and a gentle nip or two. Some (cute) wolf noises, help you with your grooming, be it straightening out your clothes or even giving a lick. Will bump noses with you and gently bump your body with his. Will walk with you any chance you get and will want to have sleepovers more often.

Talk of wolf mating habits and Jack's junk below.

For wolfs mating season can be anywhere from January to April with the female having only five to seven days of estrus. During this time, the pair may move out of the pack temporarily to prevent interruption from other pack members. Since your human “mating season” is pretty much any time you ovulate if you can but really the whole thing that gets male animals when it comes to seasons is that they smell that their mate is excited/fertile, so anytime he smells you being aroused it's going to have him react. So, if he knows you're cool, with it he’s to want to get you away from everyone and take care of you. 

However, with Jack, he will likely want to hold off on sex and want to date for a long while, build trust, and make sure you are right for each other. He takes dating and relationships very seriously. He only wants to have one mate for his whole life after all. Anyways, once he does deem himself ready and knows that you are too he’ll want to work his way up to full-on sex starting with oral, using hands, and whatnot.

He really likes giving oral, especially because of the taste and scent. Male wolves will smell the genital region to determine readiness to mate, tongue flicking in and out, and testing the air for traces of sex hormones and only stop if their mate growls and snaps their jaws at them.

A kind of funny/cute thing wolves do right before mating is act happy by nuzzling and whipping tails in each other's faces. Just all happy about mating I guess. I mean, Jack probably has his tail going already when you're making out or having actual sex. Ask him if he wants a blowjob then his face is all serious but flushed and his tail is going back and forth. Pretty darn cute I must say.

Yes, his dick is big, and yes, he has a knot. You'll be stuck together for about half an hour before it deflates, and he can pull out.

Kinda gross but he likes to clean your hole out with his tongue after mating.

[iszaranothere]

Dialogue prompts but they're things the GameGrumps have said

Struggling to start your scene? Having trouble writing dialogue? Don't worry, I've got you fam. I even sorted them into two catagories, a clean one and a more vulgar one, for your pleasure. If you end up using one of them, by all means tag me in the post, I'd love to see it.

Clean quotes

"And then I fired, and then I missed."

"The bananas has gone bad!"

"BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT KISSER! …Is what I've been told."

"I don't understand why the Chinese don't just use forks and spoons."

"Shutting down. Rebooting."

"There's so many places that aren't Andorra!"

"Jennifer dumped me."

"Did you point? Did you point? DID YOU POINT?!"

"Today is football."

"I'm gonna lay face-down on the radiator."

"Just what the heck is going on here?"

"UNAVOIDABLE CHIN MOVE!"

"The carbuncle ate itself."

"At age six I was born without a face."

"Great to see you again! You must die."

"I'm grapes!"

"Why did my dad birth me?"

"That's crazy. Especially since… who cares."

"I'm the video game boy! I'm the one who wins!"

"Bienvenue powerbottoms!"

"MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO!"

"With great confidence comes great wonfidence."

"Get bigger hands!"

"MORE ONION PLEASE."

"Why do I have to suffer in this meat prison?"

"That baby is not a baby, that is a jelly bean with a face."

"I HAS BRO! DO YOU HAS BRO?"

"JUST SOMETHING HAPPEN PLEASE."

Vulgar quotes

"I mean look at the way he slurps up his soup, what an asshole."

"Don't believe me? Look at my resume! Thirty years experience in jacking off!"

"MY DICK'S FALLEN OFF."

"If you shit in a bowl of rice crispies, do they go snap crackle poop?"

"Who needs a blue coin when you got a fucking mental breakdown coming in the back of your head?"

(sing-songy) "My asshole burns 🎶"

"I'm gonna pre dude."

"It's Clifford the big red stab wound."

"You think Sonic shits?"

"What's more in the spirit of Christmas than eating ass?"

"I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking murder your face, fuck you."

"I feel like I just came back from a mythical creature bukkake."

"Plump, sweet and begging for cream!"

"Isn't it weird how at least once a day your hand is touching your asshole?"

"GOD! IT'S SO HARD TO FUCKING FUCK!"

"I was the greatest load my dad ever shot."

"You think I came out of the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?"

"Oh, bump off you bumpin' grasshoe."

"I would fuck anything on this screen, including the animals and the bicycle."

"The only thing I bust are rhymes and nuts."

"Am I about to see your skyward sword?"

"WE WON'T LET THOSE FUCKERS TAKE THIS LAND!"

"I fucked a cantaloupe once."

[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: language, violence, m masturbation, smut

Chapter Eight

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

Back in your apartment, the two of you set to work quietly organizing everything spread out on the living room floor that you could think of to pack. The biggest section was food. Luckily you were still used to a dorm room diet, so you had tons of useful items to take on the go. You had focused on the cans with protein like tuna, chicken and beans, then moved on to granola and protein bars, nuts, dried fruit, ramen noodles, cereal, instant rice and easy mac. Joel packed each of you a flashlight with extra batteries, and handfuls of matches and lighters he had found rummaging through your floor. Justin's camping equipment came with a canteen, plate, bowl, and foldable silverware for each, and a small first aid kit, which Joel significantly bolstered after raiding all the bathrooms on the floor.

He told you to only pack one or two extra sets of clothes, that you would have to break into houses or stores along the way if you needed more. He didn't want to waste the space in your packs that could be used for food and medicine.

You both set to work filling your bags with as much stuff as you could. Joel slipped a map into his pack that he had picked up from a kitchen drawer down the hall, and you had snuck in an unopened box of tampons and a folded up picture of your parents in yours when he wasn't looking.

It was around midday when you were all set to go, making sure to eat something left behind in your cupboards one last time.

You closed the door behind you, but you didn't lock it in case someone came along and needed something. Then sadly, you turned and gripped your baseball bat, following Joel down the long hallway, down the stairs and to the lobby.

Before Joel pushed the lobby door open to the outside, he turned to you.

"Which way's the subway?"

You pointed down the street to the right.

"It's about 3 blocks that way, not far. It's mostly all apartment buildings and a few stores on the corners."

Joel nodded, cracking the door open to listen for any sign of trouble. It sounded clear, so he ventured out to confirm before pulling you out behind him.

"We gotta be quick, but not too quick. Don't want to accidentally sneak up on somethin' out here," Joel explained in a hushed tone. "If you hear anythin', stop and don't make a sound. And you tell me if you see anythin' at all, understand?" You walked closely next to him as he was speaking, the whole time looking all around you frantically, your senses in overdrive, and your heart hammering in your chest. All you did was nod, not wanting to risk making too much noise.

The streets were quiet. Joel peeked around the corner and made sure no soldiers or infected were nearby before ushering you across the open street and back behind the safety of a building. One block down.

The two of you trotted down the sidewalk, swiveling your head around every few feet to see if there was anyone behind you. You almost made it to the next corner when Joel swung out his arm to stop you. You held your breath, heart racing as you focused on the noise he heard. It was the slow rumbling of an engine that reminded you of the FEDRA truck you heard patrolling outside your apartment last night. Joel must have figured that out, too, because he grabbed your arm and pulled you over to hide behind a dumpster that was sticking out of a narrow alley. You both crouched down and waited for the truck to pass. Fortunately, it didn't turn down the street you were on, where you would have been exposed.

Once the noise faded, Joel stood up slowly before motioning for you to follow. Again, he poked his head around the corner and took extra time to make sure no one was around before dragging you across the street once more. One more block to go.

You were halfway down the block as you passed a pawn shop, windows smashed in and the place ransacked. You grabbed Joel's arm and his head whipped around in a panic. You shook your head to tell him nothing was wrong and pointed into the pawn shop.

"Weapons?" you mouthed.

He hesitated a moment, trying to decide if you should press on or see if there was something useful in there before ultimately deciding to check it out. If the subway had infected in it, it would be better if there was more than just one knife between you. Joel stepped through the broken glass door carefully, glancing around at the small shop before holding his hand out to guide you through the opening. You both took a quick look around, noticing anything valuable was long gone, and most of the knives were picked over, but you did find a decent sized switchblade for yourself. You tucked it into your jeans pocket, and you carried on down the street towards the subway entrance.

You had a long way to go down the dark tunnel, but so far it had been quiet and uneventful. Your flashlight beams bounced off the brick walls as you walked in silence, trying to stay focused on your surroundings. Your anxiety spiked with every new subway station you passed, reminding you of just how much deeper into the city you were getting. From what the soldiers had said, more densely populated areas were worse off, and so far in your limited experience that had proven to be true.

You were two stations away from the one you stopped at for work when you first saw people. It was just two families, huddled together on the platform. They had seen your flashlights long before you saw them, so trying to sneak by was useless. They seemed like they were just innocent survivors, so Joel kept walking, holding his head up. He made eye contact with two of the men in the group and gave them each a firm nod, hoping to convey you were just passing through and not looking for trouble. They nodded back wordlessly, and you carried on your way.

The next station had more people who had sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, and lanterns. It looked like they were trying to wait it out underground long-term. A few of the men approached the end of the platform to address Joel.

"You soldiers?" one of them asked.

"No, just passin' through, tryin' to stay off the streets, sorry to disturb you all," Joel replied. He paused for a moment, and looked back at the men who were still watching you carefully. "Any of you see any infected down here?"

One of the men shook his head. "Nah, man, that's why we're sitting tight down here. Soldiers must be keeping them busy up top."

Joel nodded. "Thanks... good luck to you."

Finally, you approached your stop for work and found the platform to be filled with people, just like the previous one. They were kind and immediately helped you both up off the tracks. You introduced yourselves and explained you were headed to Joel's apartment not too far from there. One of the women, Josie, warned you the closer you got to the heart of the city, the worse it was.

"We heard, thank you. Once we get up top it won't be a long walk," you said, swiping the back of your hand across your forehead to clear the sweat collecting there. "We've been walking for hours. Joel?" You turned to him, interrupting a conversation he was having with Josie's husband, Peter. "Can we rest here for a bit?" Joel turned back to Peter.

"That ok with you folks?" he asked. Peter and Josie nodded, seemingly the leaders of the small group of strangers huddled on the platform.

The two of you slunk down against the tiled wall, pulling out protein bars and your canteens after sitting down. You shut your eyes for a few minutes, leaning the back of your head against the wall, chewing and grateful to be taking a break.

"You holdin' up alright?" Joel asked softly beside you. You nodded, keeping your eyes closed.

"I'm just tired," you replied, taking another bite of your protein bar without looking.

"It ain't much further, once we get on the street it's another few blocks. We should be able to get there before - "

Joel's sentence was cut short by screaming, and your eyes flew open in surprise as you dropped your protein bar and grabbed your bat while fumbling around in your pocket for the switchblade. Joel was already standing, gripping his bat and trying to locate the source of the scream in the group. One of the men, who looked asleep when you arrived, was snarling and had his teeth clamped down into the shoulder of an older man, blood pouring down his arm and soaking both of their shirts. Peter and another man jumped into action to pull the infected off the poor man screaming in agony, struggling to pin it to the ground.

Joel charged forward before you could stop him, your hands desperately clawing at his t-shirt, but he was already throwing himself into the group to help. You watched in horror as the three men struggled to hold it down, and just as Joel was getting ready to bash its skull in with the baseball bat, it lunged forward, knocking Peter and the other man off to the side and pushing Joel onto his back.

Joel held the infected up by its shoulders as it pinned him down, snapping and growling inches from his face. Joel's jaw was clenched tight, his eyes flashed with rage as he summoned all the strength he could manage and pushed it off him, making it stumble backwards. It was just enough time for Joel to reach to his side for his hunting knife and plunged it into the infected’s skull with a guttural yell.

The infected went limp immediately and fell to the floor. Joel stood over the body, tense, covered in blood, and panting heavily with the knife still clutched in his hand. Peter and the other man rushed to join the rest of the group helping the one who was bit in the shoulder, but you raced straight to Joel, wrapping your arms around him tightly. Surprised, he lifted one arm to place it reassuringly on your back, the other still clutching his knife.

You let him go, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks as you frowned at him angrily. He looked down at you, the adrenaline wearing off, and saw the anguish on your face. He reached his hand out to you, but you slapped it away and instead shoved his chest heatedly, making him stumble just a bit in surprise.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" you seethed, narrowing your eyes at him and fighting to keep the tears from falling. "You could have gotten killed!"

Joel stared at you, still panting slightly, then put the knife back in its holder. He couldn't gauge your reaction. Were you upset he would be killed because then you would be alone, or upset because of something else? He sighed and reached out to you again. This time, you didn't shove him, but you didn't go to him, either.

Josie approached you, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Joel, for saving my husband," she said, clutching his outstretched hand in her own, then turned to you. "Don't be mad at your boyfriend, dear, he just saved us all."

Your mouth fell open, and before you could correct her, she went back to Peter and hugged him tightly. Joel cleared his throat beside you, seemingly pleased with himself.

"You heard her," he winked at you. "Can't stay mad at me." You scowled back at him, and with a more serious tone, he added, "us or them, remember?"

You sighed, relaxing your brow. You knew he was right, but you were still pissed off. You turned on your heel and headed back to your abandoned protein bar, effectively ending the conversation.

Joel joined you and watched as the group deliberated quietly on how to deal with the man who was bit. You had learned he likely only had a few hours before he turned, based on the location of his bite. Ultimately, Peter volunteered, and he quickly and privately put the man out of his misery with a kitchen knife. You winced when you heard the squelch of blood from across the platform, burying your face in your shoulder.

You didn't stay much longer after that. Once Joel had gotten his strength back, you picked up your belongings and gave your farewells. Josie and Peter thanked Joel again, and you headed up to the familiar street corner, dusk fast approaching.

It took you both an hour to walk to Joel's apartment, which normally would have taken ten minutes, but he insisted on going slow and being careful at every turn. When you approached his building, you had to crane your neck all the way back to take in the full height. His building definitely used to have a doorman: it was fancy. You walked into the ornate lobby and turned around in a slow circle, taking in everything from the detailed crown molding to the beautiful, tiled floor that looked more like a piece of art. You almost felt bad for stepping on it. Even the ceiling was vaulted and decorated in tiny, intricate squares with gilded chandeliers hanging from it. Finally, you looked straight ahead and saw an arched window that overlooked a private garden.

"Shit," you whispered, "I almost got an apartment in this building."

Joel turned back to you, surprised, then realized you were being sarcastic when he saw your grin. He smiled to himself and shook his head, leading you down the hallway towards the stairwell door.

"I take it you're not on the second floor?" you asked him quietly as you began to climb the stairs.

"No, little higher than that," he replied. "30th floor."

You stopped dead in your tracks, which made him stop and turn back to you questioningly. He could tell what the problem was when he saw the pained expression on your face without you even having to speak.

"I know, it's gonna take us a while, but we can stop and rest whenever you need to." You sighed and hung your head, continuing your journey up the stairs.

You made it to the halfway point before you had to take a break, sitting on a step, panting and chugging water from your canteen while Joel leaned against the wall across from you, sipping his own water. The sun was going down, so you each dug your flashlights out of your packs before continuing.

"Not much further," Joel panted, turning the corner of another staircase, "then we can rest. No point in diggin' around in the dark, it's been a long day." You nodded, choosing not to speak to conserve your energy, and focused on the flashlight beam ahead of you.

You weren't sure how long it took, but finally you climbed the last step to face the door marked with a big, red "30". That's when you looked up and noticed you were on the top floor. Of course he lives on the top floor.

Joel pushed the door open a crack and peeked down the hall, which was very short and only had two doors and an elevator at the other end. He held the door open for you to walk through, then gently closed it. You frowned, looking back and forth at the two doors, puzzled.

Joel looked uncomfortable, shifting his weight when he saw your confusion, before mumbling, "It's a penthouse," and brushed past you to unlock his door.

You had never seen a penthouse before, but you knew they were for people who were really rich, especially in New York City. He opened the door, locking it behind you. You couldn't really see much other than what your flashlight exposed, but you could tell the room you were standing in was massive. You briefly flicked your light around, taking in some couches, bookcases, a fireplace and some other furniture. You stopped when you noticed the entire wall was top to bottom windows with a balcony attached, and covered your flashlight quickly. Joel kicked off his sneakers, and noticing the dimmer light, turned his flashlight to shine on you questioningly.

"Can't people see in? Like, the lights moving?" you asked. He shook his head.

"Privacy windows," he explained, then turned and headed towards another room. You quickly kicked your own shoes off, skittering after him, sticking close. The place was so huge you were afraid you'd get lost, and the darkness mixed with the eerie silence from lack of power and road noise made the hairs on your arm stand up. As you walked, you shined your flashlight on everything around you, baffled by how far the apartment seemed to stretch. You were so engrossed in your surroundings that you bumped into him when he had stopped walking.

"Oops, sorry," you whispered.

"Why are you whispering? We're safe here," he replied at full volume. You shrugged.

"I don't know, this place is huge, Joel, give me a minute - oh my god, is this your kitchen?!" you exclaimed as your jaw dropped, noticing the kitchen island in front of you that must have seated ten people. On one side. Easily. The island, made of marble or quartz, was white with silver and black specks. You noticed the counter was the same all over the kitchen, even on the built in bar in the corner. The cupboards were a light oak that was soft against your fingertips as you gently trailed them against the wood, wandering around his kitchen in amazement.

Joel watched you as you walked around his kitchen, gently touching the handles of the knives in the block and running your fingers along the countertop. You looked like you had never seen anything like this before, and his chest ached when he wondered what would have happened that night if you agreed to come home with him. You could have seen this place in a whole different light. He could have made you a drink from the bar and played you some music over the sound system. If he was lucky, he could have laid you down on the kitchen island you were so currently fascinated with, your fingers gripping the edges as he slipped his fingers inside your underwear to explore your soaking wet folds, pushing one finger inside you, and then another, slowly teasing you until you begged him for more.

Having you in his place was clouding his mind, he needed to focus. He cleared his throat before heading towards the pantry door. You eagerly followed closely behind and when you realized the pantry was a room as big as your own kitchen, you moaned with envy, causing his eyes to flutter shut momentarily.

"This place is amazing," you told him, sifting through the food on his shelves. You grabbed some peanut butter and crackers, turned and headed back to the kitchen.

"Where's the silverware?" you asked over your shoulder.

"Drawer next to the sink," he replied, and watched as you grabbed a butter knife. He picked up a can of Beefaroni off the shelf and opened the drawer in the kitchen with the can opener after picking a fork out from the silverware drawer you left open in your haste to eat.

He sat across from you at the island, eating his cold Beefaroni out of the can while you slathered crackers with peanut butter and popped them in your mouth. You smirked at his choice of food.

"Chef Boyardee?" you asked curiously, eyebrows raised. "I'm sure your private chef could have made you the real thing from scratch." Joel chuckled.

"Alright, I ain't got a private chef. Besides, this is the real thing. Nothin' beats it."

You smiled, fascinated that a man who lived in such a lavish apartment would have Beefaroni as his guilty pleasure. Feeling full and sleepy, you twisted the top of the peanut butter jar closed, and out of habit ran your tongue along the butter knife to clean it. You didn't even realize how that looked until you heard Joel's breath hitch and he looked down to study the empty can in front of him. Your cheeks felt warm from embarrassment, but luckily, he couldn't see it under the cover of darkness. You cleaned the knife (with a sponge, this time) and Joel's fork, putting them back in the drawer.

"Alright, let's get some shut eye. We should try to get an early start tomorrow, I want to get out of this city as soon as we can," Joel said, grabbing his pack he had set down when you walked in, and headed further down the hallway.

You followed him nervously, looking at the expensive-looking art on the walls and even a few statues on pedestals before reaching his bedroom. He pushed the door open, and your flashlights bounced around the room to illuminate the corners the moonlight hid from view. As expected, his bedroom was spacious with a bathroom and two walk-in closets attached. You noticed one of the closets was void of any clothes, and the other was packed to the brim. You poked your head in his bathroom, sighing enviously when you saw the huge, glass walk-in shower and built in vanity. You turned around to find Joel had dug out a couple lanterns from his closet and placed one on each end table so you could conserve your flashlight batteries. You clicked it off and walked over awkwardly, not sure what the sleeping arrangements should be. Unlike you, he has couches more than big enough to accommodate a grown adult, but the thought of being alone in the living room of this huge apartment made you nervous.

It hadn't even been a question in Joel's mind.

"Hop in and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," and he left the bedroom, back down the hallway to double check the locks. You rummaged in your pack for some more comfortable clothes to sleep in, and quickly changed before he returned, nestled under the covers on the most comfortable mattress you had ever been on in your life.

When Joel reentered the bedroom, his thoughts didn't even have time to catch up with how fast he felt the blood rushing to his cock. He squeezed his eyes shut as he blindly walked right to his closet and shut the door so he could change into his pajamas, willing his erection away. He groaned quietly, leaning his head against the wall of the closet, frustrated with how distracted he's been. If he doesn't stop, it could get you or him killed. He would have to do something about it before heading out tomorrow. He was lucky so far, you've had relatively safe places to hole up in, but that was going to end.

When he finally got himself under control, he exited the closet and got into the other side of the bed. You already had your lantern off and you were laying on your side with your eyes closed, exhausted from all the walking and events of the day. His bed was much larger than yours, and he hoped the extra space would help him get his mind out of the gutter. He turned his lantern off, and leaned back into the familiar pillow and sheets, closing his eyes. It was silent for a few minutes before you spoke.

"Joel?" you squeaked.

"Hm?" he replied, keeping his eyes closed.

"This is the nicest apartment I've ever seen, how long have you lived here?"

"About six years or so," he said, shifting a little under the covers. "But I like your place more," he admitted.

"My place?!" you said, outraged. "You could fit my entire apartment into this bedroom, you're crazy."

"Yeah, well, your place felt more..." he trailed off, trying to find the right word. "Like a home. This place feels like a museum."

"I'm sure you could make this place feel just as cozy," you yawned before adding, "this bed, for instance, is the most comfortable thing I've ever laid on." Joel smiled.

"Glad you like it." Sweetheart.

He waited until he was sure you were sleeping deeply enough before he locked himself into his bathroom and pulled his sweatpants down just far enough to free his throbbing cock, stroking it steadily with one hand while the other propped him up against the wall, eyes screwed shut. His thoughts picked up where he left off in the kitchen, his fingers deep in your pussy, but then he would add his thumb to your swollen clit, making your back arch off the cold counter and gasp his name. His thumb would pick up the pace, keeping up with your moans, rubbing tight circles and flexing and thrusting his fingers inside of you until your body finally stilled under him, whimpering his name as you came.

He imagined you gazing up at him hazily, the same way you looked at him last week outside the bar, but now you would reach out and grab the waist of his jeans, pulling him closer and whisper hoarsely to him, "Please, Joel, I need you, I need more..."

He imagined what it would feel like to slide inside you, your cunt soft and warm, so welcoming and taking him inch by inch. He would grasp your hips, his feet firmly on the ground and your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, one of your hands lost in your own hair and the other firmly holding onto his wrist, eyes rolled towards the back of your head, moaning, as he stretched you out. When he would start moving, he would go slow at first and enjoy the way your tits bounced gently along with his movements. He would do his best to take his time, but he imagined you asking him - begging him - to fuck you harder. Of course, he would give you what you wanted. He would slam into you, over and over, groaning as he would feel your cunt squeezing around him, warning him you were close. His thumb would travel down to your clit once again, pressing firmly from side to side until you were screaming his name and he felt your warm release spill over his cock.

"Fuck!" Joel grunted out into the darkness, as he shot thick ropes of cum over his hand and onto the tile floor, completely losing himself and forgetting to grab a tissue.  He stood there a few minutes, catching his breath, his forehead pressed against the bathroom wall. Finally, he pushed himself away and cleaned up his mess carefully, using his flashlight to make sure he didn't miss anything. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hoped that would help keep him sharp and focused for tomorrow.

He opened the bathroom door quietly, relieved to see you hadn't moved a muscle since he left. You were still sleeping peacefully, facing his side of the bed with your lips slightly parted. He smiled at the sight, setting his flashlight down and about to slide back into bed when he heard a noise coming from down the hall. He froze, listening intently, trying to figure out the source. He glanced down at you once more to confirm you were still asleep and headed quietly out the bedroom door, carefully closing it behind him.

He walked down the hallway, now on high alert, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He walked by a statue, grabbing it and turning it upside down so the square base was upright in his hand. He gripped it tightly as he neared the kitchen, now hearing rustling and seeing a beam of light coming from the pantry. He glanced around the room before peering around the open pantry door, seeing someone crouched on the floor and rifling through his food, but all Joel could focus on was the revolver on the floor next to him, shining in the moonlight. Shooting one more glance over his shoulder, Joel stepped inside, silently placing the statue down on the floor, and then lunged forward, quickly wrapping his arm around the intruder’s neck, and using his other hand to lock his arm in place. Joel yanked them both up to a standing position, putting his foot over the revolver and shoving it under the shelves in the pantry, out of arms reach. The intruder slapped wildly at Joel's arms, then tried clawing at his face, desperate to loosen his grip so he could breathe, but Joel didn't budge, his grip strong and unmoving, his face contorted in a fury and a heat he never felt before. It didn't take long before the man passed out, but Joel held on a few minutes longer to make sure the air didn't revive him.

Once he was satisfied he was dead, Joel laid him gently on the pantry floor, frantically trying to catch his breath. He slowly picked the statue back up, temporarily forgetting about the gun, and then closed his eyes a moment as his breathing began to stabilize. He reopened them, nostrils flared, and jaw clenched. He needed to make sure the man was alone, and you were safe.

He left the pantry, glancing around the room once again before stepping forward. He was about to enter the hallway to head back towards the living room when something hard hit him across the chest, sending him crashing loudly back into the kitchen, dropping the statue. Joel gasped for air in the darkness, scrambling backwards and reaching around blindly to try to find his statue, but the other intruder kicked it away and pinned Joel down with his own baseball bat. The bat was being pressed to his throat, and Joel struggled to push against the man's weight.

"Who else is here with you?" the intruder sneered. Joel was barely able to make out his face in the darkness.

"No one," he gasped and shook his head, pushing back harder now that he was reminded of you sleeping sweetly in his bed, hoping and praying you stayed in there.

"Bullshit," the man spit. "I saw the shoes by the door. Maybe I'll have a little fun with her after I kill - "

Suddenly, the pressure was gone, and Joel coughed, holding his throat. He whipped around frantically, trying to find anything to use as a weapon, when he heard wet thumping over and over. He stood up, desperately trying to make his eyes adjust to the shadows. Remembering the flashlight, he scrambled back in the pantry and snatched it up, casting the beam of light over the scuffle.

You were bent over and brutally caving in the skull of the man who almost killed him.

Over and over, you aimed the corner of the statue at the man's disfigured face, beating him to a bloody pulp, the squishing sound of blood echoing in your ears. Joel calling your name and grabbing you around the waist was the only thing that stopped you. You dropped the statue and looked him in the eye, like a wild animal cornered and ready to strike. He grabbed your face, repeating your name until your eyes focused back on him. The enormity of what you did hit you in an instant: you just killed a man.

Tears welled up in your eyes and your lips trembled as you continued to stare into Joel’s eyes. He shook his head when he saw the emotion on your face.

“No. No, no, no, no. C’mere,” he said, pulling you into his embrace, and it was then you let the tears flow as you sobbed uncontrollably into his chest, gripping his t-shirt in your fist like a lifeline. He snaked his arm up your back, so his hand rested at the crown of your head, and his other arm tightly squeezed you around the ribs. You both slunk to the floor of his kitchen, holding onto each other for dear life, the horror of the world around you finally making its mark on you both.  

Chapter Nine

[elliespuns]

Do you have any Joel Headcanons?

1. Joel and Tommy packing their bags and taking Sarah camping every month in spring and summer, and Joel spending time with her by teaching her how to fish (as he was taught by his father).

2. Joel wouldn't want kids when he was young, but once he knew his girlfriend was expecting a girl, it breathed life into him, and so he decided to marry her and making her his wife, to show her he was there for both her and his baby girl.

3. Joel is actually a pretty good dancer, but he doesn't tell anyone.

4. Joel can get pretty goofy at times when he feels comfortable (ahem, with Ellie, of course). He would tease her by sneaking behind her, tickling her, and running away, not to get the same treatment. Because god knows the girl gives hard punches. He would also do this thing where he would dance comically to some ridiculous song whenever he'd see Ellie's down, always successful in making her laugh.

5. Joel has a sweet tooth and nobody knows about it but Ellie. He wasn't like this when he was young but the older he gets, the more tasty the candy is.

6. Joel eventually telling Ellie the truth about him and his ex-wife.

7. Joel never shaves his beard because in his words, his face would look like a "baby's butt".

8. Joel playing around with Ellie in clothing stores when trying on new clothes whenever they needed to change into new ones on the road.

9. Joel and Tess starting their relationship after getting wasted and having sex.

10. Young Joel would be watching cooking programs and learning to cook this way when he became a single dad.

11. Joel was sad when Ellie decided to move to her little shed, but he wouldn't say it out loud because he wanted her to have some privacy.

12. Jackson Joel smells like leather, mint, and cedarwood, with a hint of a cheap soap that he uses not only for his body but for his hair too. When he's on duty in town, it's all that but with a hint of strong sweat.

13. Ellie calls Joel "Texas" this one time to tease him about his accent, unaware of the fact that Tess used to do that (in a completely different manner), and obviously, he can't tell her; he just smiles instead, eliciting a curious, toothy "What?" from her.

14. Whenever Joel feels like it's been too much, he sits by his kitchen window with a cup of coffee, and he'd lie if he said that spotting the light in Ellie's window wouldn't calm him down. Just knowing she's there, alive and well, and in his life.

15. Joel can imitate the intro to Eminem's "Slim Shady" and this one time he does it in front of Ellie when she finds the CD and plays it out loud in his living room. It makes her laugh so hard that she makes him do it repeatedly whenever she remembers he can do it because the fact she doesn't even know who this evidently famous rapper is and Joel does is somehow chucklesome.

16. Joel wanted so badly to talk to Ellie about Kat when he heard some rumors, but he decided to keep quiet regardless. He was worried about coming off as nosy (also, they weren't that close at that time which didn't help).

17. Joel hates wearing boxers because as he says, his junk "can't breathe".

18. Joel is too old for playing video games (and so bad at it), but he loves playing Tekken with baby Ellie because beating his ass every damn time makes her smile.

19. Joel enjoys watching horror movies with baby Ellie because whenever she gets spooked, she immediately gets clingy, and what she does is grab onto him (his hand, arm, or lay her head on his thighs), and this is what he lives for.

20. Joel calling Ellie "pumpkin" during the whole Halloween month and driving her nuts with it; "Do I look like a fucking pumpkin?" - "When you pout like this? Definitely."

21. Joel traded his ass (and maybe his front, who the hell knows) for those damn coffee beans

[pokegalla]

Requested by @tryslogic

Enjoy yah lil sinner >:3

Warning: A little spicy up ahead. You were warned

How Touchy Can They Be In Public With Slightly Large Chested S/o! (Pt 2 with different characters✨)

Dream:

* He’s an adorable bean. Look at this boy. Would you really think he’s thinking lewd things?! ……lol well technically yes at least not at first. He just finds you beautiful in general and will be sure to compliment you! But he is an adult and not blind about his own curiosity…..

* You and him were just shopping together and you wanted to try some bras on. He didn’t mind tagging along but was a golden mess seeing all those bras. And when you asked him to help you take off a bra, his hands lingered on your chest before he pulls away suddenly, apologizing profusely for touching you in public-

* In private he is surprisingly teasing! Nothing too crazy because he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable and doesn’t want to go too far without your permission! It would be rude after all! When he knows it’s ok, this guy will have the most delicate touch, making your heart flutter and mind fuzzy whether he’s just being romantic and appreciating your beauty or having you in the sheets~ definitely both sometimes~

* Don’t be fooled by that innocent look- you really think he won’t give you teases in public? Lol you’ve only fallen into a trap✨ “Wow that shirt looks stunning! I bet it would look even better on you starlight! …..especially when I take it off~” (lil shit says that last part very quietly-)

* You are just too adorable sometimes~✨

Blue:

* Ah yes. Baby Blue✨. He’s a big sweetheart and loves to be with you. He always knows what to say and makes you giggle. Now him being lewd? Could he truly be?! Yes. Yes absolutely-

* He’s a big hugger and you know this. It’s adorable and you can’t find any reason to complain. Look at him! 🥹 But he’s also DEFINITELY taking advantage of it by giving you a mischievous look while nuzzling in your chest. And he wouldn’t mind taking you to somewhere private (maybe a closet or someplace that keeps you two hidden from view~) to tease you and fully enjoy your glorious chest~ (only if you’re comfortable though!)

* In private he’s pretty adorable, laying his head in your chest, arms wrapped around your waist. It’s cute when he jiggles your chest only to giggle and apologize for being silly. Oh. Oh but you can drive this man crazy if you spoil him with booba. Booba in face, pressed on his body, oh man and a titjob?! He’ll be a hot mess✨

* He usually does sweet or romantic (though very cheesy) pick up lines. But oh he can say a few dirty lines that could catch you off guard- especially that one time you wore a shirt with extra cleavage- “Those seem like very expensive clothes, too bad I’ll be ripping through them tonight~” Shit was so out of the blue (Heh pun). Don’t be surprised if that line ends up becoming a promise for later~

* He just loves you and you just drive him nuts~

Ink:

* Honestly just look at him. This Smol Gremlin. With a big chested S/o. You best believe his true inner gremlin is gonna shine- your chest is now his fun bags-

* Now there are many things he could do in public. Drop pencils in your cleavage as an excuse to dig in and have a feel. Squirt gun to make your shirt cling onto your body (he did it ONCE for a joke and once he discovered this, he just carries around a squirt gun for this purpose-), or straight up take advantage of his shortness to stand right under your chest. Ah yes. Booba hat✨

* In private he’s always in your cleavage or under your booba. He can’t help it! It’s so soft🥹. If he wasn’t so busy, he’d be laying around all day with his skull nuzzled in your chest! And ah he loves to draw you in different outfits…..especially with lingerie~ and man he loves to paint on your chest during intimate moments. You just look so damn good….things get pretty messy after that~😏

* And oh he is such a fucking tease. Whether it’s from lil sneaky caresses and straight up poking your chest with a cheeky little smile. Or whispering romantic or sexy nothings into your ear~ then he’d just act like his goofy ol self like he didn’t say the most inappropriate thing- “C’mon! Stop getting your head in the clouds~!” Lil shit-

* He makes you wanna body slam him but you both know you still love him anyway✨

Killer:

* Ohohohohoho this is quite literally the MOST notorious guy in this category. He’s flirty, bold, and will say the most outrageous things. He will not hesitate to say “nice tits” in front of his group-

* A damn menace who will leave you all excited in the worst times. You two would try to meet up somewhere and he sneaks up behind you to grab your chest- you’d want to go somewhere and you end up making out in an alleyway, leaving with a LOT of hickies around your neck and chest. And he gives no damns. He would straight up poke your chest. Not like with Ink (who usually pokes the side or the top) he pokes RIGHT where the nipple is while looking you straight in the eyes- bastard-

* In private he is WORST. You have no one protecting you from his onslaught now~ He will be taking your bras so you walk around the house with no bra. No bra = less restrictions~ he absolutely loves to play with your nipples whether it’s with his hands or mouth. And nothing gets him more excited than covering your tits with his special sauce~ but at least he’s rather adorable when cuddling. Like a little kitten❤️

* Oh lord his teasing is just as bad. He would whisper downright the most LEWDEST and DIRTIEST flirts right in your ear, making you all hot and bothered only to give you the smuggest smirk cause he KNOWS it’s getting to you. “I wish you could just sit here on my lap and shove those tits in my face….but we both know we can’t do it with all these people here. Unless you’re into that~” Evil-

* He’s a lil shit but your lil shit. Be sure to tease back-

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sexual situations, descriptions of violence.

Word Count: 838

Previously On...: Nat revealed that Jade was a Hydra agent. You told Bucky, you kissed. He left you very confused.

A/N: IT'S TIME! THIS CHAPTER IS NUTS!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

The next morning, Bucky acted as though nothing unusual had happened between you two the night before, so you opted to follow his lead and pretend your mind and heart weren’t a jumble of conflicting thoughts and emotions. 

You discussed mission strategy over breakfast. Or, rather, Bucky came up with a strategy and you argued with him against it.

“I’m not comfortable with you leavin’ the safehouse alone with Carthage out there,” he said as he stabbed into his defenseless scrambled eggs. “We don’t know where she is, or what she’s planning. I’m not gonna risk your safety just so you can go back to that club.”

“I’m not totally helpless, Barnes!” You waved your fork in his general direction. “Believe it or not, but I’m quite capable of taking care of myself!”

Bucky shook his head, snorting a dismissive laugh. You narrowed your eyes at him. “What? You think I’m weak?”

“Never said that, doll,” he offered, putting his hands up, “but Carthage is a Hydra-trained super soldier. Even Nat wouldn’t be able to take her if she was out for blood.”

You felt the wind of your righteous indignation leave your sails, so you pouted. “I still have a gun,” you countered petulantly. “She’s not impervious to bullets.”

Bucky laughed. “Oh yeah? Enlighten me then, doll: where you gonna stash that gun for safekeeping while you’re out there doin’ your thing? In your g-string?”

“Yeah, alright,” you conceded, “maybe I haven’t thought that part through! But I’m not going to let some fear of her keep me from doing what I need to do in order to stop more women from being abducted!”

“I’m not askin’ you to, sweets.” Bucky put down his fork and looked at you. “I’m just askin’ that you don’t go out by yourself, don’t put yourself at any unnecessary risk, is all.” You couldn’t really argue with that; it was a sound point, after all. 

“I’ve still got to do my shifts at the club,” you said. “It’s our only source of leads and I can’t just stop showing up if I want them to keep them from getting suspicious.”

Bucky crossed his arms and leaned back on the kitchen stool. “Fine,” he offered after a moment’s contemplation. “Then I’ll come with you.”

Though you’d done it for thousands of strangers before now, the idea of getting up on stage and performing a strip tease, knowing that Bucky was in the audience, made your entire body flush. “I… don’t know if that’s necessarily a great idea,” you admitted.

“Why?” Bucky’s face momentarily soured. “You worried having the Winter Soldier show up is going to blow your cover?”

You flinched at your old words being thrown back in your face. “No,” you said. “Come on, you’ve got to know the only reason I said that was because, at the time, I was so fucking angry at you, I could have ripped your dick off with my bare hands and shoved it down the garbage disposal.”

Bucky’s eyes went so wide, it was comical. “Well,” he swallowed, “that is a very disturbing and traumatizing visualization… but seeing how your rage was completely justified, I’ll just … silently carry the image with me for the rest of my life.”

You shot him a look. “Dramatic much?” you asked him. “But for real, it would feel weird, getting naked up on stage knowing you were there.”

Bucky leaned back and studied you, his tongue running over his bottom lip. “Nothin’ I haven’t seen hundreds of times already, doll,” he said, voice so husky that your thighs clenched. “And from a lot more intimate angles, at that.”

You blushed and ducked your head. “Yeah,” you said after clearing your throat, “but you’ll be sharing the experience with a bunch of other drunk guys. That sound like a good time to you?”

The frown that etched itself across Bucky’s lips appeared so quickly you had to stifle a laugh. “Remind me again why you ever even agreed to take this mission in the first place,” he said, crossing his arms petulantly. 

You glared back at him. “You know very well why I–”

Your phone buzzed. Picking it up from the table, you saw an incoming message from Nat. “She’s emailed me a link to the security footage she got from her KGB contacts,” you told Bucky once you’d read the message. “Clips of Carthage in the Hydra base; she’s edited the significant ones together for us.”

“Let’s see it, then,” he said, getting up and moving around to the other side of the kitchen island to stand over your shoulder.

“You sure you want to look at it?” you asked him cautiously, opening up your laptop. “I don’t want it to be triggering for you. Especially if she’s put through the same kind of shit you were.”

Bucky rested a hand on your shoulder. “Play it,” he commanded gently. “I’ll be fine.”

Casting him a final, skeptical glance, you opened Nat’s email and clicked on the link.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[chrollosbm]

Sunflower Fields: a Choso Love Story Chapter Three

art cr: einfvji on x

You're broken from a past relationship, thinking you only deserve the worst. Choso comes along, making you realize you deserve the world and more. Will your ex-boyfriend let you go without a fight? (Choso x black!reader, yandere Choso)

previous chapters

pls support me on ao3, it would mean the world to me

Choso missed you. 

You had only met him one time and he fucking missed you. He missed the way you looked him directly in his eyes when you spoke, those beautiful brown eyes twinkling like the brightest star in the sky. He missed the smell of your perfume and your hair. You smelled like honey and something floral. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, you just smelled damn good. 

He missed how bold and unapologetic you were. You seemed to never care if anything you said offended him. You just said it, without a care in the world. He also missed how you would roll your eyes when he made a terrible joke, very obviously just trying to cover up the fact that you liked it.

He missed how your beautiful brown skin shone with the strobing lights in the club and when the  bright light would get into your eyes, you would frown and suck your teeth.  He loved when you looked him in his eyes with very obvious attraction in those beautiful brown orbs. You wore your emotions on your sleeve and he loved it.

He knew you were attracted to him. He knew by the way you were rubbing your ass on him the entire night, dangerously close to his very hard cock. You thought you were being slick with the way you were eye fucking him the entire night, but he knew. He had to be a gentleman, though.

Choso wanted nothing more than to take you home and fuck you senseless, but he had better plans for you. You weren’t just going to be someone he banged occasionally and tossed to the side when he got bored of you. He had plenty of those. He didn’t want to sound cocky, but there were many women who threw themselves at him that he entertained every now and then when he really needed to get his nut off. But they were women he simply just fucked. He would put their faces into the pillow as he plowed them from behind or would close his eyes when the woman insisted on being fucked missionary. He hated that shit. It was way too intimate for some random chick he met on a dating app. 

He was saving that for you. He didn’t want to just fuck you, he wanted to learn every part of your body. He wanted to know every curve, every mole, every stretch mark, and memorize them by heart. He wanted to know what you liked and didn’t like, what made you squirm and what made you cry from pleasure. 

So that’s what he was going to do. He had been waiting entirely too long.

That night at the club wasn’t the first time he’d seen you. It was just the first time he’d met you. For a woman so intelligent, you weren't very aware of your surroundings. You walked around this world without a care, your nose always in your phone or headphones blasting in your ear as you walked down the busy streets of the city. Choso had known your everyday schedule for months now. He knew your name, all your social media accounts, where you liked to get food, where you shopped, where you worked, etc.

It was way too easy.

Nanami was partially to blame. He was the one who let your name slip during a night of drinks as he was talking about what his wife and her friend were up to. Choso’s posture corrected, and his eyes were now on the man who was currently spilling the beans about how the two of you were at your biweekly nail appointment. Noted. Choso remembers Nanami being particularly drunk that night, whining about not being able to have dinner with his wife or something. 

Whatever.

Choso didn’t care about that. He was just fucking obssessed with you. 

It all started when you showed up to his workplace with Andrea, who was dropping off her husband’s lunch. Choso was heading down to get lunch at his favorite burger spot when you were there on the sidelines, looking bored as your friend was giggling like a teenage girl at something her husband said. The office lobby was busy during this time of day, with most people taking their lunch breaks at this time, so Choso could get a closer look at you without being noticed.

Your hair was down in tight coils, shiny, moisturized, and beautiful. You had on the cutest yellow sun dress that made your ass look like a perfect peach and your brown skin was glowing. You were looking around the empty lobby with a scowl on your face, indicating you obviously did not want to be there. So fucking pretty and so damn unaware. As if the sight couldn’t get any better, the clouds opened up and the sun began to shine directly on you. You looked like an angel, his angel. Your reaction to the sun's rays was so adorable, your face scrunched up in the most dramatic way possible, your full, glossed lips turned into a bigger frown and you put your perfectly manicured hand over your face to block the sun. He wished he could’ve gotten a photo of that moment, it was something he had thought about for a long time after.

He knew from that moment on, you were going to be his. No matter how long it took or how hard it would be, you were going to be his girlfriend, his wife, the mother of his children. Nobody was going to get in the way of that, not even that shit-for-brains boyfriend you had. In all honesty, when Choso found out you had a boyfriend, he didn’t care, not even in the slightest. He had no problem sliding in on you and making his move. He had some morals, but when it came to you, morals be damned. 

The only problem was, you seemed to be completely in love with this dude. Your entire Instagram feed was full of photos of the two of you, looking all fake happy and shit. It made Choso sick, literally. Seeing photos of you two, where you were obviously enamored with this guy, while he barely even looked like he wanted to be there made his stomach hurt. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even comment on any of the photos. To make matters worse, when Choso looked at your ex-boyfriend’s page, you were nowhere to be found. If you were Choso’s, no, when you are Choso’s, he’ll let the entire world know you’re his woman. There would be no doubt to anyone that you belonged to him and he belonged to you. As Choso scrolled further down Suguru’s account, all that was posted were photos of himself and random photos of the moon.

What a loser. 

Choso’s heart ached for you. You deserved so much better. You deserved to be loved, spoiled, and fucking worshipped. And he was going to be the man to give you all of that and more. He would make sure you never longed for anything, never questioned where the two of you stood, and never felt unwanted. 

One day, while doing his daily social media stalk on you, all of your photos with Suguru were gone. All that remained were photos of yourself which Choso had stared at and analyzed for at least ten minutes per photo, some with Andrea, and some with what seemed to be old friends from college. You were also posting very obvious thirst traps on your Instagram story he used a burner account to keep tabs on you seeming to let everyone know you were back on the market again. This made Choso’s blood boil thinking about the possibility of you posting these videos and photos of yourself, looking absolutely gorgeous, for other men.

You belonged to him. No one else.

He wanted to take your phone and remove every male follower you had, knowing they were all scrambling in your DMs, begging for your attention. You didn’t seem like the type to entertain every guy you came across, but still, the thought of other men pining for you, yearning for you, made him absolutely irate. That was okay, though, in the end, Choso knew he would win the race. He wasn’t afraid of competition, he was just pissed that other men longed for you the same way he did. 

The thought of you finally being single made Choso’s heart strings pull. He could finally start making his move. He wasn’t sure how he was going to go about it, but he knew Nanami had to be involved. He was your closest point of contact anyways. 

Now, Choso liked Nanami. It wasn’t like he was using him, he was just warming up to the man a little more so he could meet you, is all. The two of them had hung out plenty of times after hours, drinking with other coworkers. They weren’t close, but they’d had multiple conversations, quickly learning they had a few common interests. Choso decided he was going to “subtly” ask Nanami about you in a way that didn’t seem creepy, but it wasn’t going to be easy. How would he ask about you in a way that didn’t seem weird? He wasn’t even supposed to know your name for fuck’s sake.

Then one day, he struck the jackpot. Another night of drinks with his coworkers led to Nanami talking about his wife again (surprise, surprise,) and how she was currently upset because her best friend was heartbroken. He said something about how you had been cheated on and Choso has to physically restrain himself from slamming his fists on the bar. He hated the thought of you broken and sad, probably crying because of that asshole that didn’t deserve you in the first place. Choso had already way too many rounds of shots, and his emotions were hard to keep in check at the moment. He had to play it cool, though. He couldn’t show much he cared about you, already. 

So, Choso calmed his breathing and fixed the face of disgust he knew he was sporting. His eyes snapped up to the man speaking and was now fully attentive as Nanami began talking about how you needed to get out the house and discover someone new, how it would be the only way for her to realize there were other fish in the sea. This was the perfect time, he had to slide in before the conversation topic inevitably changed again.

“I’ll help.” Choso had said, way too eagerly. He cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. “With your wife’s friend, I mean. I’ve been itching to get out of the house this weekend.” He played it off, bringing his demeanor back to the usual disinterest everyone had gotten used to.

Nanami’s ears perked up at that, not suspecting a thing. “That would be great, actually. You seem like her type.” Choso had to bite his tongue. He was hoping he wasn’t being compared to your sorry excuse for an ex-boyfriend. He was absolutely nothing like that cheating, good-for-nothing jackass. Nanami pulled out his phone and began scrolling. “Would you like to see a photo of her?”

Choso almost laughed. He knew exactly what you looked like. He could probably draw you from memory at this point. He had to sell it, though. “Sure, I probably should have asked that before I offered myself up.” He gave a fake chuckle, playing the part all too well.

Nanami laughed along with him and showed a photo of you he had never seen. It was a picture of you with his wife. “She’s this one right here.” He pointed to you and Choso smiled as he saw you in the flick with a flour covered apron, obviously failing at attempting to bake something. Your hair was in a large curly fro’, not a hair out of place, and there was a small speck of white flour on the brown skin of your cheek. You had a huge, goofy smile on your face, eyes half closed and you were giving the camera a peace sign. You were so fucking pretty. So perfect. Made just for him.

Nanami snapped him out of his thoughts.“Don’t get any ideas about the other pretty lady. She’s mine!” He joked and Choso gave another fake laugh. He wouldn’t have to worry about that. There was no one in the world who was more gorgeous than you.

“No worries, my man. My eyes are only on the other woman. She’s absolutely stunning.” Choso said, all truth and adoration in his words. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

Nanami smiled and put his phone away, then proceeded to tell Choso all about you, your name, your age, and parts of your “complex” personality, as he put it all things he already knew about you.

That was how Choso set up your first meeting together. The two of you were having an amazing time together that night. He was so infatuated by you, the way you spoke with such authority and confidence intrigued him. Even the way you didn’t care for him the first few minutes of your meeting, quickly scrambling to the bathroom quickly after you met. You came back with some BS lie about how your friend was too drunk, and while Choso agreed that Andrea was off her ass, he knew it was because you were disinterested in him. All good though, Choso had time. He would chase you forever, if he had to. It wasn’t ideal, but he would do it for you, you were worth it.

You didn’t seem like you were trying to impress him in any way, you were just being yourself and he was obsessed with it. Obsessed with you. You were funnier than he expected, throwing joke after joke at him the entire night. You kept him laughing the entire, which said a lot, considering Choso rarely smiled, let alone laughed. He noticed the flirty jabs you were throwing at him and how touchy you were being. At some point, you even climbed in his lap, which threw him for a surprise. He welcomed it, struggling to keep his cool at the fact that you were mere inches from his already hard and aching cock.

You looked so sexy that night, wearing that tight red dress that made your ass pop and your hair up, showing all your beautiful features. His eyes instantly flickered to your plump lips that were painted with a clear gloss that Choso wanted to ruin so badly, but he couldn’t do that just yet. He had to take it slow with you. He couldn’t mess this up, he had waited too long and been too patient. He was going to claim what was his, soon enough. He could ruin your lip gloss another day. He imagined your soft, plush, gloss covered lips wrapped tightly around his thick hard cock, on your knees, with dark teary-eyes looking up at him. He wanted nothing more than to fuck your pretty face and hear gags from that pretty little throat of yours.

He could wait, though. He had to be patient, he kept reminding himself.

You were so beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. Inside and out. There was nothing more that Choso wanted to do other than worship you. Worship you like the Goddess you were. You deserved more than what life had thrown at you, and he was going to show you what you deserved and more.

Your night was cut short and Choso was furious. Not with you, of course. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew the minute you left had to be because you were thinking about your ex. Choso hadn’t said anything weird or off putting, he was perfectly sober despite the few shots he downed (Thank God for his high tolerance.) He was just glad you made it home safe and sound, according to Andrea. He knew you were okay as days passed from the amount of social media posts you were making, but he hadn’t seen you in the flesh for a few weeks now, being too busy with work trips and paperwork to have any sort of free time. His desire to see you was becoming overwhelming, so he decided to stop letting fate take the wheel and take matters into his own hands.

Choso knew you often frequented a small cafe that was conveniently down the street from his job. He learned this fact from your Instagram story posts. You always posted whenever you got yourself a way-too-sugary drink or treat, with the location attached in sticker form. Silly girl. Someone could track you down like a hound dog. You must be more careful. 

It was another day at the office and Choso purposely didn’t pack a lunch or drink any caffeine today. He took his lunch break early, knowing the times you frequented the cafe, and set foot to conveniently “bump into you.” He was ready to see you again and make his move.

When he arrived at the quaint little cafe, he didn’t locate you. He stopped to take in the scenery and was impressed. It was a small coffee shop with a large selection of bakery items. It smelled like freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon. Maybe he would make this his new regular place too. After all, he would see you more frequently if he came more often. When he reached the counter, he ordered a black coffee with a shot of espresso, and a couple bakery items. A cheese danish and a chocolate croissant. He would choose one and take one home to his teenage brother, Yuji, who was living with him until he went off to University in a few months.

When he wasn’t focused on your wellbeing stalking you, Choso worked hard, including taking all the overtime he could get, so he could afford to put his baby brother through college and live comfortably. He hit that goal long ago, thanks to his incredibly high paying job, and was now a homeowner with a hefty savings and disposable income. He worked hard his entire life raising his three younger brothers, even when their parents were still in the picture. He put one through college with the help of scholarships, while the other went straight into the workforce like Choso. They were both well off now and the last one to leave the nest soon was Yuji. Choso was proud of all of his brothers, but he was sad. He spent his entire life taking care of them, and now they were going to be off in the world on their own. 

Yuji had always teased his eldest brother about how he’s never had a serious relationship and while that was true, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He didn’t have relationships for two reasons: one, he was too busy taking care of his bratty younger brothers, two, nobody truly interested him. As stated before, he just entertained women when he wanted a quick fuck, he didn’t really care for the whole feelings and dating bullshit. That was until you, of course. He had never been so obsessed with wanting to know someone until the day you stepped foot in his workplace.

After he paid for his items, he sat down and waited for his name to be called out. He pulled out his phone and began to scroll on random apps, waiting for you with anticipation. It had felt like forever since he’d seen you last, and it was driving him crazy.

The cafe’s front door opened with the ring of a bell and Choso’s head snapped to the front and was pleased to see you. Right on time.

His jaw dropped as he took you in. So fucking pretty. Your hair was different this time. It was in small knotless braids that reached your ass, which looked fantastic in those jeans, he couldn’t help but notice. You had on your signature clear lip gloss, and your outfit consisted of a thin, low cut, long sleeved, black t-shirt that clung to your skin perfectly, and fitted bootcut jeans, paired black and white sneakers. Your ears had diamonds in them, like the ones he sported himself. You had on a pair of oversized glasses that he wasn’t sure were prescription or not, but nevertheless, you still looked beautiful.

Choso’s dick stiffened at the sight of you, and he took a few seconds to think about everything under the sun that would turn him off so that his raging boner would go down. Just as his dick decided to go to sleep, his name was called from the barista, items in hand.

He watched as your head lifted from your phone that you were currently engrossed in and turned to search for him. Your eyes were filled with confusion until they landed on his. Choso grabbed his items from the barista, his eyes never leaving yours until he reached you, waiting in line.

“Hey…” You said, awkwardly, darting your eyes from Choso to the wall behind him. 

So fucking cute.

“Hey, gorgeous. It’s been a while.” He said, looking down at you with a smirk on his face. 

“Yeah…” You said, in that exact same tone as before, nervous. Choso’s heart strings tugged, he didn’t want you to feel nervous around him, he wanted you to feel comfortable. The line moved until the two of you were at the front counter together. 

He watched as you ordered a caramel iced latte, the same one you always posted on your social media, and a blueberry muffin. When you finished ordering, you pulled out your wallet and before you could place your card in the machine, he whipped out his cellphone and quickly mobile paid for your order.

“Hey!” You stared at him, an annoyed look crossing your features. Choso watched as your eyebrows furrowed and you crossed your arms over your tits, pushing them up, making them unintentionally squeeze together. Fuck. “I could’ve paid. It’s my stuff.” You snapped him out of his thoughts as he ignored you and turned to lead you to the table he was sitting at before you walked in. He placed his things down and turned to face you, still with that adorable scowl on your face.

“I don’t care.” Choso smirked down at you and you somehow gave a deeper scowl. “I wanted to pay for it, so I did.” You raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed, which he returned mockingly, enjoying seeing you riled up. He would buy you the entire world if you wanted him to, coffee and a muffin was nothing. 

You were still squinting at him, saying nothing and he was still smirking, looking you in your dark eyes, not going to crack.

You seemed to give up with an eyeroll and Choso grinned at you, gesturing for you to take a seat in the booth as he sat in the chair across from it. You sat down with a huff. “Don’t expect me to say thank you.” You smirked at him sarcastically and he laughed.

He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms with a smirk on his face and couldn’t help but notice when you checked out his biceps flexing through his white shirt. Your eyes snapped back up to his quickly, noticing you were staring, just as the barista called your name. He observed  the look on your face, knowing you had been caught checking him out and almost laughed. You didn’t have to hide the fact that you were eyeing him. He already knew you were attracted to him. 

Choso tried to get up when you put your hand up and stood up quickly. “I can at least get my own coffee, Choso. Thank you.” He couldn’t help but hear the sarcasm in your voice as a grin spread on his face. You basically sped to grab your drink, being back within ten seconds. 

You settled back into your seat and seemed to immediately start an inquisition on him. “So, what are you doing here? I’ve never seen you in here before. I’m here basically every day.” Oh, he knows. Your beautifully manicured hands were opening the wrapper to your pastry. Clear with mustard yellow tips. He watched as you pulled out the blueberry muffin and brought it to your plush, gloss covered lips. You expertly guided the muffin from your lips, careful not to ruin your perfectly painted lips. 

Your eyes snapped back to his, obviously waiting for his answer. Choso quickly cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact that he was staring.  “I was tired, basically falling asleep at my desk. I needed some caffeine.” He shrugged, lying easily and playing off the fact that he was distracted by your effortless beauty. He couldn’t let you know he knew you had been coming here everyday for months for your daily fix and just showed, knowing you would be here. He didn’t think you would take that too well.

“Oh, that’s right. You and Nanami don’t work too far from here, right?” You questioned him, curiosity in those pretty eyes.

He simply nodded and watched as you took a sip of your iced latte and moaned in delight. His heart skipped a beat and his dick stiffened again at that. He couldn’t wait to get you into bed so he could have you screaming his…

You cut off his train of thought and he silently thanked the Lord. He couldn’t keep getting distracted by the dirty thoughts you brought to him just by doing normal things like eating. He had to get this sexual frustration out, and quickly. “So, I wanted to apologize for leaving you hanging a few weeks ago. I was in a really bad place and was very overwhelmed that night. There’s no excuse for leaving you hanging like that.” Your face softened and your voice was laced with honesty. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. You had nothing to apologize for, it wasn’t your fault that the Gods of fate set you up with an unfaithful loser. You didn’t need to know he knew all about your ex yet, though. He had to act clueless, even if it meant accepting an apology he didn't want or need.

You took another sip of your coffee, your eyes avoiding his as he answered you. “Don’t worry about it. At least I get to see you now, right?” Choso tilted his head at you, a closed lip smile playing on his lips.

You gave him a quick smile and a nod, before you grabbed your drink and pastry wrapper from the table. “Well.” You said, awkwardly as you stood on your feet. “I have to go to work now. I just stopped here for a quick drink.” Yeah, he knew. He knew you worked a six hour shift Monday-Friday as a receptionist at a doctor’s office. He stood as well and looked down at you into those beautiful brown eyes and long eyelashes that were currently covered by those thick glasses. 

He wasn’t going to let you go without knowing when he would see you again, though. There was no way that was happening again. 

“Let me take you out.” Choso said to you, confidence in his voice. He wasn’t asking and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He had waited too long for you.

You were looking up at him with a smirk playing on your lips. “Oh yeah? Where you gonna take me?”

Choso smirked back down at your adorable face, knowing he had you, no matter how hard you were trying to play hard to get. “We’re going to the fall carnival this Friday. I’ll be at your place by 8 pm.” He already had everything planned out, that’s exactly how confident he was. 

“Hmm…I don’t know. I’ll have to check my schedule.” You said to him, voice laced with sarcasm, tapping your chin, feigning contemplation. He played along though, entertaining your shenanigans. 

“Whatever you have going on won’t be more fun than going to the fair with me. Clear your schedule.” Choso responded back with a serious look on his face and authority in his voice, making sure to leave no room for argument.

It seemed to work because you were left speechless as you pulled out your cellphone to get his number. Choso triumphantly put his phone number into your phone, and you soon had your hand out after, wanting to put your phone number in his phone, as well.

Choso complied and noticed the yellow heart emoji next to your contact name when you handed it back. “That your favorite color or something?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. He had an idea based on the fact that he had seen you in yellow more than once now, but wanted to be sure. 

You turned on your heels before he could get an answer out of you and gave a wave behind your head. “Let’s save for the small talk for the date, Choso. Bye!” You said as you walked out the cafe, your perfect ass in view as he watched you walk away. 

Yeah, it definitely was. 

Chapter Four is posted

[benis-chillin]

IDW's Fang the Hunter and the failure of Neo-Classic Sonic

(In case you're stupid, this is an opinion piece made for discussion)

Greetings, boys and goyles. I'm Benis, otherwise known as Benis Chillin, Sonic lore enthusiast and fanfic writer. I say the latter part because I want people to know that I'm well aware that many of my criticisms are based in the fact that I'm a writer, and unlike most people, I try to run more by objective canon than my whims. I explain it more here.

And per those standards…The current state of Classic Sonic SUCKS.

Now, I am a Modern Sonic fan through and through. I LIKED the 4 main Classic games when I played through them, but Sonic Adventure was the one that truly hooked me in. The world established by that game, and the ones that followed, just have my interest more, and I would prefer things be made in service to THAT.

However, to the greater detriment of society, Sonic Generations happened, and Classic Sonic was reestablished as part of the brand after years of Modern Sonic being THE face of everything, with even collections of Classic games using Modern Sonic artwork. And with the environment of the internet in the 2010's, it's no surprise that they decided to let Classic be its own sort of "brand" with Sonic Mania(bleh)and Forces(less bleh).

But they had a fun spin on it: A split timeline.

As explained above, Classic Sonic was given his own little mini-continuity to run around in, which is actually a brilliant idea, from a brand perspective. Original Classic Sonic had the creative freedom to do whatever the heck he wanted to, since he was the main Sonic. However, new Classic material, or Neo-Classic material, as I shall now refer to it, if left in the main timeline, inherently has the “prequel” problem where things HAVE to have some kind of hook for it to really be worth having another branch of the brand available. I wouldn’t say EVERY brand has this problem, but even the most masterful uses of that format have to deal with the fact that the future is predetermined, and Neo-Classic Sonic material just does not have the leg room to work around that problem.

So, split the timeline, and just do whatever with it. It’s an AU, go nuts! Let a part of the brand reset and grow in a different way for that audience who isn’t into that Modern stuff!

And we had a promising enough start with the 30th anniversary comics! Full of interesting returns that you didn’t really see in the mainline books. Heck, we got an actual look at the design of Metal Knuckles, that was pretty rad!

Bark, Bean, and Fang also had an appearance that made their old Archie team somewhat canon, after they only appeared as illusions in Mania.  Sure, these characters were neat in the Archie comics, but getting a proper form of that in a continuity free of that Satam Stank was nice. This particular comic being a separate thing from my main love, while not diving into the weird stuff that would turn me off from it, inherently made the comic more interesting, even though I’m not much of a Classic Sonic fan.

And so this sentiment continued through the next specials, but something else began to shift on Sega’s side. The dumbassery of single timeline was stated to be the new status quo, and they started acting as such with new Sonic material.

Sonic Superstars came out, too, and my feelings on that are known. Now, after his appearance in the comics had been a bit of a treat, even if you didn't like him, Fang was in an official Sonic game again, with 3D renders to boot!

...But he was still the same jackass with barely any personality that he was before. Because Superstars was TRYING to be like 3&K with its storytelling, while lacking basically every element that made 3&K's storytelling work. Combine the lackluster story and music, both of which were caused by the idea of it being a Neo-Classic game, with the fact that the graphics were 3D, and now the question is being raised of, "Why wasn't this just a Modern Sonic game?" 

Cause from an outsider's perspective, it being a Neo-Classic game only served to hold it back in a ton of ways!

For example, the character of Trip. She seems well liked in the Sonic fanbase, but Sega's kinda funky with how they handle characters being both Classic and Modern. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Eggman, and Metal Sonic seem to be allowed to exist in both parts of the brand, but that's it. 

Knuckles Chaotix is said to be canon, but the Classic Chaotix are unlikely to appear anytime soon since Sonic Heroes soft-rebooted them. Mecha Sonic was allowed to appear in the Modern "Scrapnik Island" mini-series, but I suspect it's seen by Sega as a "modern reboot" rather than a character being allowed to co-exist between the two brands again. Heck, they didn't even have the guts to show the Classic versions of the characters during the flashbacks, even though logically, they were still referencing 3&K.

 So will Trip be allowed to appear in any meaningful way in the future? Probably not, the way things have been going.

So, if all Classic characters can only appear in Neo-Classic material, then the Neo-Classic material has to be as good as it can be, right?

Well, that's where the Fang mini comes in.

Written by Ian Flynn, who has very much been showing how utterly stretched he is across so many Sonic projects lately(even if I would still regard him as a fairly decent writer, just...Has his limits), the Fang mini is the epitome of BORING! 

The basic story is that Fang and his gang are seeking out, "The eighth Chaos Emerald," visit a few people who tell him it doesn't exist, and then Eggman sends him to deal with the Hardboiled Heavies going rogue.

Along the way, Fang is just randomly a dick to his friends, and they end up abandoning his ass at the end because this comic is, for some reason, a direct prequel to Sonic Superstars, and we apparently needed an explanation of why they weren't there?

If my summary didn't sound that bad to you, it's because you don't have to go through the grueling wait that being an IDW Sonic fan entails.

Seriously, the wait between issues of IDW Sonic has become a real problem the past few years. Ever since the Metal Virus ended, the main book has had a massive problem with pacing. 

And sure, there are arcs and ideas I like there, I AM a fan, but not a lot HAPPENS in each issue compared to earlier in the book's run. Even re-reading them, the pace is oddly slow for a book about a fast character, and the issue especially persists here...On top of the main book being paused for a bit so THIS shit could come out.

(Current arc is doing better, though, so hope they keep that up)

Issues 1&2 are wasted with Fang harassing Sonic and Knuckles for a bit that, guess what? Goes nowhere! And then we briefly divert to Fang and co. in a watery old Eggbase so Eggman can capture them and actually get the plot going…3 issues into a 4-issue mini! Then, we finally get to the main event, where all will be revealed! And…

It's the Warp Topaz from the main book. The Hardboiled Heavies found it in a cave, where nobody ELSE knew it was, so it can't be the source of the 8th Chaos Emerald rumors.

Like I told ya, that went NOWHERE!

So they fight the bland-as-shit Heavies, Fang adds the Warp Topaz to his hover bike thing, and the airship is wrecked, leaving Sonic and Tails to have no idea what just happened, their involvement being a complete wash.

And our story ends with Bark and Bean rocketing off in little hovercars that just raise the question of why they didn't use those when Fang threatened to kick them off in Issue 2, since he has no say in whether or not they launch.

I actually managed to ask Ian Flynn about this on the Bumblekast, and this was his response:

Worth noting that the final issue has an additional editor that didn't work on the previous issues. Not saying EVERYONE'S blameless in this, but if I had to choose a weak point…

This mini-series encapsulates every little issue the Neo-Classic line has had since they officially eschewed split timeline.

 It feels the need to go out of its way to explain shit that doesn’t matter, like where Bark and Bean were during Superstars, Fang having the Warp Topaz, but not using it during Superstars creates a gaping plot hole that will not wash away, and it not going away at the end brings up a lot of timeline issues that I can only hope that Knuckles special resolves! 

In fact, why didn’t HE get the mini!?

Even in his Classic state, Knuckles has a LOT more to carry a story with! From the secrets of his island, to the mysteries of his people(which Adventure and the Frontiers promo animation hinted at), to even just doing his own treasure hunts! Heck, you could even pin him against both Fang’s crew and the HBH, and you’ve got enough of a banger to hold 4 action-packed issues right there! 

But no! Instead, we get a book that seems written to depend on the personalities of the protagonists…When said protagonists barely have any personality.

Like, let’s consider Team Chaotix from Sonic Heroes ALONE. Vector is the loud, bombastic leader with a love of music, and true detective skills, as showcased by him figuring out that their employer was Eggman on his own by Rail Canyon. Espio is the disciplined, if a bit full of himself, ninja, taking down the bad guys with stealth and precision, while also being somewhat melodramatic. And Charmy is the excitable ADHD kid of the group who may occasionally want to go off-track and play around in the giant casino area.

These characters are simple, yet so full of personality that you immediately like them(unless you’re a 2010’s YouTuber). THESE guys can hold a narrative.

By comparison, what do Fang’s gang have after 3 comic appearances and Sonic Superstars?

Fang is a hired goon who has goons, Bean is “funny” bomb man, and Bark is the silent strong guy with a soft spot.

That is really it.

And this was FINE back when they were still in “Sega forgot us” territory. Being obscure oddities that we would rarely get in stories actually did a lot of heavy lifting for their more limited personalities. Despite what the current writers seem to feel about such limits, judging by Silver and Blaze's current "vacations" in the main book, characters being rarer can actually endear you to them.

But now, these guys aren't really that rare. In fact, I’d say they’re about equal to Team Chaotix in terms of mass media exposure within the past 5 years, and they’re considerably lacking in comparison. 

Hell, even compared to the characters created RECENTLY in IDW and the Modern games, they're pretty lackluster. Yet I'm supposed to care about these assholes just as much as those guys?

Which, really, is how ALL of the Neo-Classic media feels these days.

Look, I get that Neo-Classic Sonic media doesn’t want to step on the toes of Modern Sonic. I do. But I really think it needs a good shake-up.

Quit treating it like it’s this special thing, because it isn’t anymore. Find a more solid identity for this branch of Sonic if you want it to survive, cause THIS doesn’t cut it anymore.

AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT TIMELINE SPLIT ESTABLISHED IN A MAINLINE GAME, DAMNIT! THERE’S A STORY IN UNDOING THAT! TELL IT, OR I WILL!

[inoreuct]

okay okay yes chef sanji is wonderful but baker sanji. confectioner sanji. think about it.

sanji kneading dough on a saturday morning with his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow. he has flour on his cheeks and one of those cute canvas aprons the colour of a brown paper bag with a million pockets and he keeps getting pissed off because strands of his bangs are constantly falling into his face. he makes sourdough and cheesecake and strawberry pavlova and tangerine tarts and dried mango nougat and carrot cupcakes that everybody eyed suspiciously before they actually tried them and now they're a friend group favourite.

he makes monthly batches of those agar-agar edible crystals for vivi's entire family and ships them by the crate to alabasta. he bakes robin and franky's blue raspberry black forest wedding cake. all of the straw hats have multiple packets of his dark chocolate dried fruit and nut and oat yoghurt brittle in their bags at any one time because they're the perfect snack and they're delicious. he makes red bean matcha mochi for zoro because the mosshead can't tolerate anything too sweet.

he has jar upon jar of aromatic infusions on the shelf: vanilla, black pepper, florals, all steeped in liquor to make high-quality extracts that he has gotten MULTIPLE offers to start a business out of, but he always declines because hello. he's busy cooking for straw hats and co.. luffy and fam. he has no time he is a busy busy man and would you look at that chopper's upside-down apple crumble is ready.

usopp makes him all sorts of contraptions, a high-speed blender, a state-of-the-art stand mixer, an ice-cream machine; sometimes if he's feeling lazy he'll go equipment shopping with sanji and just modify whatever they buy. sanji has a toffee hook on the wall of the galley and a very formidable collection of cookie cutters and piping tips. he's managed to make fondant that doesn't taste like utter trash and it's legendary. his salted caramel cashew macadamia popcorn has and will continue to make grown men cry.

but sometimes, he just chucks some charcoal in a pot and plops it in the middle of the dining table with a bowl of chocolate on top and brings out the fruit skewers, or the marshmallows and graham crackers. sometimes they eat rice krispy treats out of the packaging as they huddle together on the lawn and stargaze just because they can. sometimes the almond and dried cranberry combo just can't be beat and sometimes plain toast with butter makes you see god. but you'd best believe the next day he's up and at it again; his sourdough starter's looking more and more like a sentient life form by the hour and he has seven different things going on at once with two more bowls cooling off in the fridge and the oven preheating. i love baker confectioner sanji.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unsolicited 4

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, more dark elements to come.

Promise, Lloyd will pop up again soon.

Wouldn’t mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

You don't say anything. Instead, you let it eat away at you. Your days end in tears, your few hours to yourself spent sleeping until your next shift. Hours worked for what? The watch is gone and Colin's lost in his new job. With his ex.

How do you say it? How can you put your suspicions into words without making them true? If you accuse him and he hasn't done anything, he'll only be angrier.

On your sole day off, you sleep all of two hours and drag yourself off the couch. It isn't even noon as you tidy the house, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dishes, toilet, floor to ceiling spotless.

The last hours of the afternoon are spent cooking in anticipation of Colin's return. To make up for the night more than a week ago that it all went rotten. An apology. An act to show him you're worth something. You can take care of him. You love him!

You change into clean clothes and check yourself in the mirror. You do your best to look human. You put on the necklace he gave you all those years ago.

You keep the chicken warm in the oven and set lids over the broccoli and creamy fettuccine on the burners. You pace the kitchen tiles and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

6:30.

6:58.

7:14.

The chicken is dry, the noodles bland and limp, the beans overcooked.

8:06.

You scrape it all into the bin and turn off the lights. You run a bath and cry as the tub fills and you strip away your clothes. You check your phone as you sink into the hot water. Nothing.

You put the phone on the flat edge of the tub and lay back, closing your eyes as you try to enjoy the soothing heat. You can't free yourself from the tension knotted in your overworked muscles. Another heave rises just as soon as the last subsides. You only stop as you hear the front door.

Your cell shows 9:17.

You don't bother getting out. The water's cold but you don't care. You hear him walking through the house. He goes into the bedroom. You've been on the couch for days and he's out late, doing what? With who?

Your lip trembles and you splash warm water over your face. You're done crying. You sit up and sigh.

A gentle tapping comes at the door. You don't answer, the water stirring around you as you pull the stopper and stand. As you reach for the towel, his voice comes through the door, "babe."

It stings to hear the pet name. After so long. He wants to act like nothing is wrong. After he didn't even send a message. After you tossed out a whole meal.

You step onto the bath mat and dry off. The door clicks and you quickly wrap yourself in the towel, hiding from him. You're not a skinny blonde with glowing pink cheeks.

"I'm in here," you say.

"Sorry, I… I gotta go," he cringes, "and also, wanted to say hello…"

He puckers up and you cross your arms, "I'm done. Excuse me."

You ignore his attempt at a kiss. He doesn't move and you stare past him. He stretches his arm across the doorframe.

"You okay?"

"Don't. Don't act like nothing happened."

"I'm trying to talk to you-"

"Go piss," you snarl.

"Look, I believe you. That dude, you wouldn't fuck him. I'm just… I was caught off guard, I didn't know what to think. Things have been so tough lately. The watch was nice. Really nice."

"Please, I'm tired. I have to work in the morning–"

"You can't just shut me out–"

"And what have you been doing for the last week? Colin, please."

"Please, I…"

"Where were you? I waited for you. I made dinner, I cleaned. It's nine at night."

His eyes shift to the wall, "work. This new job, it's a lot of extra hours. Like you. Picking up all those night shifts. I feel like we don't see each other."

"You haven't wanted to see me," you accuse.

"I thought– I was stupid, okay? I got scared. It's like I said, I don't deserve you."

You roll your eyes and hug the towel tighter, "whatever."

"Oh, don't do that," he grasps your arms gently, "you know I'm an idiot. Isn't that why you married me?" You try to shrug him off and he slides his hands up to cradle your face, "I love you, baby. I picked up the extra hours so we can take a trip. Book a weekend off and we'll head to the lake."

"Colin," you stare away from him.

"We'll get a room with a hot tub," he lets a hand descend and plays with the top of your towel, "skinny dip… get dinner. This time for real."

"Please," you beg weakly as he tugs on the cotton.

"You always liked to play hard to get," he teases, "let's take the watch back, get you a pair of earrings, huh?"

You gulp, "no, no, I…I don't need earrings." You catch his hands and look at him, "it's gone. I left it at the restaurant and someone snatched it. So… can't even do that right."

"Shit, really? Well, it's just a watch. We'll be okay."

"We will?"

"Oh, for sure, I'm getting a raise. Plus travel pay."

"Travel pay," you cant help but relax as he tickles you playfully.

"Conference out east. I'll be gone a week but when I get back we'll go to the lake."

"Conference? Away?"

"Yeah, I told you I'd have to travel for the job."

"Who else is going?"

"What?"

"It's just you?"

"Well, no, my boss will be going and a few of the other account managers–"

"Your boss?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, nothing. Makes sense, she probably has to go right."

"Yeah, she–" he hesitates, "she would."

You nod and wait. Will he say it? Will he tell you?

No.

"Is she nice?"

"Who?"

"Your boss? Is she a good boss?"

"Sure, I guess," he pulls away from you, "man, I'm starving. Smells good in here."

"Uh, yeah, well… I burnt the food so it's in the garbage."

"Damn," he backs out of the doorway, "well, I'm sure we can scrounge up something."

"Guess," you skirt around him and head down the hall. He follows, "what are you doing?"

"Just tryna get a peek of the goods," he kids.

"Don't even," you keep yourself covered as you enter the bedroom and search the dresser. "So, you didn't tell me about the job. You like it?"

He pauses, he knows you're changing the subject. He leans on the wall as you keep the towel around you and quickly pull the night shirt on, then step into the loose pants that go with it. You tug the towel from beneath and face him.

"It's a job. Pays better, more freedom, coworkers are nice."

"That's good."

"How's night shift going?" He rubs his neck.

"Lonely, dull," you answer flatly, "nothing special."

"Ah, maybe…"

He lets his voice trickle off as you near him, "maybe what?"

"Maybe you could look for something else? A desk job or maybe do some home cleaning. Lots of rich snobs out there will pay top dollar to not see their own messes."

"It's not that easy."

"You could try," he says.

"Yeah," you hold back the mean thought, I don't have an ex to get me a new gig, "I'll try."

"Mmm, how's mac and cheese? Think I can manage that."

"Mac and cheese?"

"For dinner," he explains brightly and winks, "then maybe you can think of something for dessert."

[psychoticallytrans]

The best thing I've ever gotten for my ability to eat vegetables on a regular basis is a blender. I have texture issues with squash, but in the blender? Delicious squash soup. Forget some carrots in the back of the fridge and they are no longer crisp? Add some onions, celery and beans, wait until it's soft, and into the blender they go. Just not up to chopping veg much today? Into the pot with only trim cuts because after it boils soft it's going in the blender. Blender my beloved.

Tips for anyone who wants to do this: -have at least one "thickening" vegetable, but be careful how much you add. "thickening" vegetables give the soup body. They include all kinds of squash and starchy root vegetable. You want a soup thick enough to satisfy your hunger, but not so thick it breaks your blender.

-vinegar is your friend. So is salt. Other seasonings are awesome but those are the base ones that you Require in order to have a good soup experience.

-do Not leave in woody herbs like rosemary stems and bay leaves. They don't go blendable-soft. Oregano, parsley, etc are fair game though, as are the rosemary leaves.

-be aware that some vegetables are very sweet. beets, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, and onions all have a lot of sugar in them. This means that unless you want a sweet soup, you'll need to add salt, acid, and savory to balance it. Spicy can also help to balance sweet.

-hearty greens like kale and collards blend up really well after being boiled soft, but be aware that the color of the soup is a somewhat unappealing grey-green-brown. Delicious though, so I prefer to dump it in a mug and just not look at it while I enjoy the flavor.

-Have not tried using mushrooms but I doubt that it would go well, due to their textural quirks. I also have not tried blending meat in because I doubt that would go well texturally either.

-Add butter, nut butter, or oil if you're not going to eat it with another source of fat. Fat ups the Satisfaction of the soup.

Go forth and Soup.

[harvesti]

Hi, I was wondering about the type of diet and exercise you recommend for someone who is anemic! I've been struggling with this for a while, so I actually don't eat enough to have enough energy to do a lot and the anemia makes it worse!

anemia has to be battled with iron-rich foods and lots of vitamin C, which aids in the absorption of iron! my favorite foods that have loads of iron are beets, beans, dark leafy greens (like spinach, kale and bok choy) and nuts, and if you eat red meat that is also a wonderful source of iron, and for vit-C my go-to would be citric fruits, especially oranges and lime (I probably drink more lime juice than water during the day haha), broccoli and bell peppers! kale, broccoli and spinach are rich in both iron and vit-C, so def eat lots of them.

and for exercising I'd recommend low-impact activities that build up core strength and endurance, such as yoga and pilates! but of course, I'm biased, since that's what I love doing. dancing is also a great option! incorporating low-resistance bands and light dumbbells are also an option to strengthen your bones and joints, but really go easy on those.

but of course, you have to eat! if you have anemia, you really can't be restricting. and if you still have anemia after adjusting your diet, you need to look into what other underlying condition you have that prevents you from absorbing the nutrients you need. luckily, all the food I mentioned is delicious and soooo easy to cook, so I know you'll get your diet right in no time ❤️

[britt-kageryuu]

Donnie and Mikey are in the kitchen set, they're both in chef's uniform. Though Donnie has his AR glasses on, they offered Mikey a pair, but he declined because 'it would distract him from cooking'.

They're making 'Summer Snacks with some science'.

Donnie grabs an odd looking device and sets it up while the audience is questioning what it is. Mikey has returned with salt, cream, a few random labeled canisters, and a cooler.

"Okay, so now we're going to show you some easy ways to make your own icecream. Though results may vary, this is how we make it." Donnie explains while pulling a few pint sized tubes from inside the machine.

"Oooohh, there's so many possible flavors to make!" Mikey gushes while placing down ingredients, "I want to try mixing up this one flavor I saw pop up in my feed. What was the mixture again?" Mikey pulls out his phone to look up the recipe.

"While you do that, I will start with a sorbet recipe, and see how if it sets properly. We haven't messed with sorbet as much, I don't think it's too different, but it's for food science!" Donnie exclaimed as he grabs a food processor type gadget. He has a projection of a recipe floating next to him. "Okay, so depending on which recipe, this either needs sugar, or syrup, fruit puree or juice... it's almost just a more complex juice pop than something like icecream."

"I think I found the one I saw earlier!" Mikey announces while holding his phone in the air. "Alright, so we just need to make a vanilla base, and add a few extra things. Though we need to substitute a couple ingredients in this one."

"It has nuts in it?" Donnie questions while tossing some cut up fruit into the food processor.

"It has nuts in it." Mikey confirmed, "I wonder if I could switch it for sunflower seeds, or would it mess up the taste?" He asked out loud while looking over the ingredients they have prepared.

"Well these will just be small batches, so just test it out. If it doesn't work, Red will still eat it. Since it shouldn't trigger his nut allergies." Donnie replies back while measuring out the sugar to add to the sorbet mixture.

Mikey nods his head, then starts grabbing what he needs to make the vanilla ice cream base for his mix.

Donnie then cleared his throat, "Now for those who have been asking, this device is a custom built Ice Cream Maker, that makes multiple small batches at once. You put the mixture into these tubes, and they go inside the machine where it gets a bit tumbled and mixes while being super chilled." Donnie has some videos demonstrating how the machine works pop up while he explains this.

"It's very handy for when we all can't agree on which flavor we want to make. Or we want to mess around with multiple flavors." Mikey adds while mixing together the cream, milk, sugar, some salt, and some fresh-ish vanilla bean.

The audience watched as the two mix together several ice cream mixtures that get put into the Ice Cream maker, and a few Sorbet mixes get put into the freezer.

"While those get mixed and set, let's use the rest of this fruit to make some refreshing drink mixes!" Mikey shouts while Donnie cleans up some of the work area.

"Let's hope we still have some of that delicious melon left. Because you're still banned from that farmers market right?" Donnie asks nonchalantly with a small smug look.

Mikey freezes before turning towards Donnie with a harsh glare, "You know good and well, that it was not my fault! He wanted $50 for a small bag of citrus fruits, that were $10 at most at a different stall." He says with a slight growl.

"Well you didn't need to beat him up over it."

"He said my culinary skills were worse than prison quality! Prison Quality! He deserved to be sent to the worst prison in the world for that!!!" Mikey yells, shocking the audience.

The audience are spamming the chat with lots of confused messages and emojis combinations.

"I would question why he insulted your cooking, but I don't want to get on Dr. Delicate Touch's bad side." Donnie says, "Do we have any club soda left, of do we need to send Blue to get more?" They add to try redirect the subject, and not get something thrown at him for bringing up the topic in the first place.

The continue on with testing out drinks, until the timer went off to check on the ice cream. The audience split on wanting to know more about Mikey getting banned from a farmers market, and wanting to talk about what the duo was making during the stream.

----------------

Masterpost

I had at least part of this story as a prompt planned for a while. The rest was just 'I want to write Smarts and Crafts doing something together'.

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 14

Their mutual hostility is the best.

The funniest thing is that Nanzhu actually has no reason for tormenting Zhuang Rujiao. He's already used her enough while she was acting as a spy in Obsidian, she's not interested in Qiushi and she's not an enemy. If nothing else it's her who should be upset at him, because she likes Li Dongyuan, but he likes his """little sister""" and Nanzhu is always provoking him into doing stuff for him. But he just... drives her nuts. For the love of the craft I guess. And it's amazing.

"When I was young, my family was poor, and I didn't learn many words. Why don't you come in and read it yourself?"

Boss move, Qiushi, I love you

"It seems that this Zuozi has a lot of resentment"

Wow, no way! Really?? I couldn't tell

Strong-arming a girl into eating properly by pestering her relentlessly.

And Qiushi's reaction lol

I think we don't talk enough about the way that Qiushi looks at Nanzhu. It's soft eyes and a fond smile (with a touch of exasperation because of course).

It's also the indulgence in any of his shenanigans and the willingness to cover up for him. It's complete trust in their relationship.

It's love.

Somebody kill me.

Not at all ominous

I don't know what you see, but I see two girlfriends and two boyfriends, enjoying their lunch break. The boyfriends are even hugging! 🥹

Libraries and archives, my beloved

Cease to exist, please

Oh, I have an idea! How about you cover your eyes with your own rotten intestines and walk backwards into traffic?

I don't think that humanity will lose anything with you gone tbh

And Qiushi agrees

Unless you have luck and the endless will to fight. But most people don't have either, so... yeah

Sleepy smiles of sleepy boyfriends :)

The Yin-Yang color coordination of their outfits. And the fact that Nanzhu wears tailored suits and coats, while Qiushi's style is more casual and practical

I like that despite being the most intimidating-looking out of the whole gang, Li Dongyuan is actually the sweetest bean

With you smiling like that I don't think I can even breathe, sweetheart

Zombies x Village of the Damned crossover.

Now that I think about it, what exactly does Zuozi do with all those legs that she rips out? That's like a lot of legs. Are they used for decoration? Does she store them in an abandoned shed somewhere? Are they numbered and catalogued? Does she wear different legs on different days of the week? I wanna know

... On the other hand I think I'm good. Do whatever you want, queen

Nooooo, my Bleh Couple! 😭😭😭

Sick with worry, on his knees, gently trying to ease his love back to reality from his traumatic flashback.

Godddd.