#through that same fake moon that was keeping him trapped

[meimi-haneoka]

Moon, a hole of light Through the big top tent up high Here before and after me Shinin' down on me Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you?

'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love mine, all mine, all mine

My baby, here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for her?

Nothing in the world is mine for free But my love mine, all mine, all mine

Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine

[satans-helper]

Scream for Me

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Jake Kiszka

Word Count: ~3300

Warnings: smut!! [kind of a variation of a fear kink? Praise, dirty talking, non-penetrative sex] 18+ only!

A/N: In honor of continuing my Halloween season slash fics, I present to you Danny getting turned on when Jake gets scared. Hope you enjoy ;)

P.S. I'm posting this quite early in the month since I'm very much in the spirit AND I have a Danny x Josh fic and a Danny x Sam fic coming later, both Halloween-themed <3

---

Danny couldn’t believe the theme of the haunted hayride, which Jake had neglected to tell him about prior to buying tickets. Not that knowing it would have stopped him, it was just, as he relayed to Jake, “so 2016.” “The Year of the Clown” was long gone as far as he was concerned, and the thought of being preyed upon by guys dressed up in rainbow suits and copious amounts of makeup just sounded like a variation of playing a show. Jake, on the other hand, was brimming with nervous energy as he made the decision to knowingly torment himself.

“Aw, Jakey,” Danny said with genuine concern, wrapping his arm around him. They were stuck waiting in line for what felt like ages already, the night air feeling exceptionally chilly while being trapped in such a wide open space. It was nice to see the stars so vividly, Danny thought as he looked up, and the moon, which was a shockingly bright globe in the obsidian sky. The perfect kind of spooky October night.

“I’m just cold,” Jake replied, but Danny knew the slight tremors his body kept going through were more than from just the autumnal chill. He leaned into Danny’s touch all the same, snuggling against the denim jacket that was keeping Danny perfectly comfortable. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Danny assured him, his gaze wandering over to the few stands of treats, the scent of fryer oil and popcorn wafting through the air. “Clowns are scary. You want a funnel cake?”

“You said clowns are outdated,” Jake reminded him, looking up at Danny with flushed cheeks. “I think you also said ‘boring.’”

“They’re not my thing,” Danny said with a sigh, foregoing the idea of funnel cakes. Jake hadn’t even wanted to smoke before this event, too worried he’d become paranoid and freak out even more. For a while, Danny didn’t understand why Jake wanted to do these scary things every Halloween season. Their time in the haunted cabin had been enough for him to believe that Jake wanted to avoid ghosts, ghouls, goblins and whatever else, real or not. But the more they went to haunted hayrides and haunted houses, walked along ghost tours, sat through spooky stories and horror movies with Josh and Sam, Danny realized that when Jake got scared, Danny got turned on. He didn’t know why, nor did he want to know why. He accepted that, no matter how tortuous it seemed, Jake loved being scared and Danny loved seeing him scared.

He hadn’t told Jake that though. This was their first Halloween together. He was still nervous about it. Way more nervous about that than about some silly clowns.

“Like they’re my thing?” Jake said with a scoff, burrowing further into Danny’s side. “I still remember that one from the haunted house last year. You know, the one that came at us with a hatchet?”

“Hey, Jake,” Danny began, speaking the words softly against the top of his boyfriend’s head. “Do you also remember that the hatchet was plastic?”

Jake groaned. “Okay, yeah, sure, it’s all fake. But it feels real.”

“That’s the point. Besides, I know you like it.”

Jake looked up again, dark eyes even darker in the night. “What else do I like, Danny?”

Danny chuckled, rubbing his hand over Jake’s shoulder. He definitely knew what he liked–seeing Jake all flustered and red-faced, hearing him gasp and pant, feeling the squeeze of his hand when things got intense. He thought about opening up about that, actually, revealing how much it turned him on to see Jake so vulnerable and feral, but then the line was moving.

“We’re up,” Danny said, freeing Jake from his hold, but Jake immediately latched onto his arm as they approached the wagon. 

Even their guide along the ride spooked Jake when he hopped onto the wagon–not a clown, but a huge–in both width and height–man dressed in bloody rags with fake scars and cuts all over his face. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” the man boomed, and Jake squished himself into Danny’s side even more. With that, the wagon started to roll shakily over the grass, and the guide began his formal introduction into, yes, what was still, apparently, the year of the clown. 

There wasn’t much happening during the first couple minutes of meandering through the field, but whenever a distant shout, grunt or scream could be heard, Jake trembled. Danny held him close and watched–he wouldn’t get as scared as Jake would, but he could still get spooked, and he had to admit that the atmosphere was pretty chilling. 

“We must beware the apple orchard,” the guide said, his voice unnaturally low but quieter as he addressed the crowd huddled together on the edges of the cart. “What was once an innocent field of fruit now bears something insidious. Something demonic.” At that, Danny felt Jake stiffen beside him. “Unnatural creatures have made this place their home. If we move swiftly, we might just–”

A girl sitting nearby shrieked as something–a clown, of course–charged through the trees, swinging a bloody machete. Danny felt himself stiffen with anticipation while Jake hooked his arm around his middle, both of them silent. The clown that had terrorized the girl was making his rounds, bobbing around the edges of the cart and pretending to slash people with his blade. 

“Oh god, no!” Jake yelped when the clown thrust himself toward him and Danny, and Danny fought the instinct to kick the clown away. If it were a real threat, he thought to himself, he’d do anything possible to protect Jake. He hoped that his boyfriend knew that. 

What was just a few seconds must have felt like an eon for Jake, who was still shaking with adrenaline after the clown simmered and was left behind, waving the machete as the wagon moved onward. Danny let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, his eyes roaming the apple trees as he asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m alive,” Jake said, bringing one hand to his chest. “But I might not be by the end of this.”

But Jake persevered through the apple orchard. He survived the small flurry of clowns that attacked with various weapons, shrieking and cackling and making the entire wagon shriek in response; Danny, meanwhile, found that he was paying far more attention to Jake than anything else. It was hard not to. He was so in tune with him–how tightly he was holding his breath and the sound of his voice, how it changed when he got scared, becoming a little higher and rougher. He was also very aware of how snugly Jake was impressed upon him, like he was permanently glued to him and Danny liked it that way. 

Even Danny felt a little uneasy though when the wagon came to a complete stop inside of a barn. It was completely dark except for intermittent splashes of red and white light, allowing him to see the fake blood on the walls, the bones and fake severed limbs, the eerie clown paintings. Everything was complete with a huge fake corpse hanging overhead. 

“A mechanical problem,” the guide announced. “Unfortunate to stop here, but I’m sure we’ll be moving again shortly.”

“Danny…” Jake said quietly, squeezing his hand around Danny’s wrist so hard it actually hurt. 

Of course, as soon as Jake said that, demonic laughter echoed from all around. Jake squeezed even tighter but Danny didn’t move. Jake needed him in that moment and there was nothing hotter than that, and not even the sudden onslaught of grating music and the laughter growing louder as an impressively large clown shot out from the darkness could take away his own thrills. Jake began clawing desperately at Danny’s arm with one hand and gripping his thigh with the other, squeaking and whimpering right next to his ear, but the clown decided to terrify the group of people on the opposite side.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Jake said with a hard exhale when the wagon abruptly started to roll again. But the huge clown ran toward it and Danny was shocked that the clown zeroed in on them next, trying to fake-slash at both of their legs. Jake squealed and really did try to kick the clown away, which made Danny laugh. Jake yelped again and begged, “Danny, help!”

The clown grinned wildly, teeth covered in fake blood, but the wagon sped up; Danny watched as the clown finally stayed motionless, which was actually more ominous to him than the man moving, giving Jake some room to breathe. Danny wrapped his arm around him once more. “It’s over, Jake,” he said. “I’m pretty sure that was the big finale.”

Indeed it was. All that was left were lingering screams and maniacal laughter, which kept Jake’s hands all over Danny until they were back to the beginning. Those hands and that tight little body so close to his during their short night of terror had elicited a different sort of adrenaline rush within Danny, so intense by the time they were getting off the wagon that he knew he needed to finally do something about it. But now Jake actually wanted a funnel cake, and patience was a virtue Danny proudly possessed. 

Jake was frantically munching on the fried dough, powdered sugar sticking to his fingers, while they sat on the hood of Danny’s car. Danny couldn’t keep one thing to himself much longer. “You’re so cute,” he said. It was ordinary, something any boyfriend would say, but when Jake looked up at him, he added, “Even cuter when you’re scared.”

Jake’s eyes widened and he paused chewing for a moment, looking perplexed. When he resumed finishing that bite, he shook his head before meeting Danny’s gaze again. “Cute when I’m scared?” he repeated with suspicion, narrowing his eyes.

Danny reached over and stole a piece of funnel cake for himself. “Yeah. You are.” Jake just kept looking at him, so Danny shrugged. “What? I can’t be the first person to point that out.”

“Uh, yeah you are, Danny.”

That sort of pleased him, actually. Danny looped his arm around Jake’s waist. “It kinda turns me on, honestly.”

Jake coughed into his arm, powdered sugar dotting the sleeve. “Really?”

“Yeah. You get all flustered. You hold onto me all tight,” Danny told him, still feeling the ghost of Jake’s hand wrapped painfully around his wrist. “It makes me feel like you need me.”

“I do need you.” Jake hopped off to toss the paper plate into a nearby trash can. He put his hands on his hips when he turned back around to face him. “But you didn’t save me from that last clown.”

Danny slid off the hood and went to him, circling Jake into a loose hug. “If a real psychotic clown were after you, I’d save you. I’d do anything for you.” One part of their relationship he was still getting used to because it scared him more than clowns or ghosts or demons ever could–PDA. He lifted Jake’s face to his and kissed him; Jake’s hands gripped the open body of Danny’s jacket, showing that, yes, he really did need him. When Danny pulled back, Jake looked calm again. “You really do turn me on when you get scared, Jake,” Danny told him, holding the sides of his face. “I guess that makes me weird. But, whatever. I’m glad you’re so into the spooky shit since it pays off for me.”

Jake pursed his lips a little, a quizzical look on his pretty face. “How come I never get to see you scared?”

“There’s only one thing that scares me.”

“Which is?”

Danny moved his hands to Jake’s shoulders. “Losing you. Losing Josh and Sam.” 

Jake’s hands gently squeezed Danny’s waist. “Oh come on, Danny. That’ll never happen. We’re way more likely to get attacked by a psycho clown.”

Danny laughed and began to steer Jake to the car. That reassurance meant everything to him. Sometimes he worried, felt that dreadful fear, that someday it would all be gone and nothing truly scared him like that thought. And now, still feeling residual arousal from Jake’s terror and the swell of love in his heart, he needed to finally get his own kicks tonight. 

“You’re brave,” Danny said softly while he walked behind Jake, reaching in front of him to get the back passenger door open. “You keep doing these things even though you know they scare you.”

“I think that’s called ‘stupidity,’ Danny,” Jake replied, then looked back over his shoulder. “Why are we going back here?”

“You got to feel such a rush tonight,” Danny told him, urging him to get in the backseat. With a curious look, Jake did, tucking his legs in, and Danny followed. “Can I get mine?” He kept moving forward, pushing Jake onto his back, and didn’t wait for a reply. He just kissed his beautiful, valiant boyfriend, gripping Jake’s sides to start feeling for the warmth of his skin beneath the layers of clothing.

Jake kissed him back, bringing his hands to Danny’s hair, tugging lightly. Danny took that invitation and ran with it, the rush of his own lust and love churning to life again; he kissed deep and slow, how his instincts often guided him when it came to Jake. He was so precious–the thought of ever losing him really did terrify Danny. Danny wanted to keep him safe forever, to make Jake feel nothing but completely adored. 

When Danny’s hand made it down to the fly of Jake’s jeans, Jake said, “Someone might see.”

Danny pressed his lips to his neck. “I’m not afraid of that.” Those soft kisses elicited the quiet little moans he was after; Jake was so responsive to him even if he was a little worried about catching a glimpse of what they were doing in the dark. Jake clutched to him fiercely when Danny got his fly undone and slipped his hand past the denim and cotton boxers, wiggling against the seat.

“You deserve to feel good after all that shit out there,” Danny said, lifting himself up enough to spit into his hand. Jake squirmed even more when that hand was brought down to his cock, growing harder with each stroke Danny offered. 

“What about you?” Jake asked between another exchange of lips and tongue; Danny was back to kissing him all that he could. It was all he ever needed sometimes, Danny felt–anything else was a bonus. 

“This is what I need. To make you feel good. To show you that I’m here,” Danny told him as Jake’s fingers raked through his hair. Jake moaned a little louder at that, arching into his touch. Danny’s urgency revved up at the enthusiastic response, and he wished for more of this, for Jake to be so vividly his all the time. They’d get there, he knew, and he was ultimately absolutely fine with taking things slowly. There was a beauty in that. And right now, he might not have been able to see much of Jake as he wanted, but he could feel him–the rapid flutter of his pulse, the rising and falling of his chest, the warmth of his skin which became even warmer after every press of Danny’s lips. 

Jake reached down, feeling more for himself, and Danny’s breath tightened at the slight squeeze around his own cock, still so stiff and wanting, trapped underneath his pants. “I wanna make you feel good too, Danny.” 

Danny couldn’t say no to that. He hastily got his dick out with one hand, sat back, feet on the floor, and brought Jake to a sitting position in his lap. “You make me feel good all the time,” he said, bringing his hands to Jake’s hips, urging him to ride as if they were actually fucking. Jake did, working into a steady sequence of shallow humps that rubbed their cocks together. Danny groaned softly, blinking through the dark, small space to see as much as he could. “Oh my god, Jake–my brave boy, so fucking hot.” The words were unconscious, instinctive–with Jake, Danny struggled to have a filter. He realized Jake actually liked it that way. “Love seeing you tremble. Love hearing you gasp. I love when you do it for me.”

“Who knew,” Jake began with a harsh roll of his hips. “That you were such a freak.” The sentence ended with a huff and he dove forward to smother Danny with wet, hurried kisses. He stuffed a hand between them, too small to wrap all the way around both of their leaking erections but Danny moaned with appreciation at the effort and the added friction. Jake touching him anywhere in anyway drove him crazy.

The sudden glow of yellow headlights behind them allowed Danny to see him more completely, and the sight of him with his pink cheeks, soft gaze from his dark eyes and crumpled collar just fueled his inner frenzy. “Fuck, you’re so fucking cute, so pretty,” he breathed out raggedly, fumbling with that disshelved shirt to get it unbuttoned. When he did, he cupped Jake’s hip with one hand and felt along his chest with the other, tweaking a nipple and making Jake shudder just like he wanted. “My brave boy is so fucking gorgeous, so fucking hot riding me.” The headlights disappeared and Danny pulled him forward, latching onto his neck with his teeth as he shot between them, a trail of sticky wetness on his shirt and Jake’s bare stomach. 

He’d fully intended for Jake to finish first. He grabbed Jake’s ass and started doing the work, grinding up into him and thrusting them together even harder despite his spent dick feeling a little just over the edge of being too sensitive. Jake’s increasingly loud moans and curses were music to Danny’s ears; those hands on his shoulder and in his hair were the grounding pull he needed to always feel. 

“So strong,” Jake noted quietly while Danny kept him in motion. He pressed his face to the side of Danny’s neck, the soft whimpers trickling through Danny’s ear. “You’d really do anything for me?”

Danny nodded, squeezing his ass. “Anything, baby. Right now, I wanna make you come.” He found the space between them and took Jake’s cock in his hand, stroking as Jake kept grinding on top of his thighs. “One of these days, I’m gonna make you scream for me.” 

Just as Danny lifted Jake’s mouth to his again, he stifled what Danny knew would have been a sharper, louder sound if they were somewhere private. Instead, a whimper escaped his lips and he stiffened, tightening up severely before he quickly went slack, body loose and heavy atop Danny’s own.

Not dissimilar to how it had been earlier in the night, Jake snuggled into him, resting his face in the crook of Danny’s neck with a sigh. “I’ve known you how many years, Danny?” he began, and Danny could feel him smiling. “Yet you continue to surprise me.”

Danny held him, stroking his hands along Jake’s back. “Hopefully in a good way and not like those clowns tearing out of the woods.”

Jake planted a big kiss to Danny’s forehead before sliding off to the side, tucking himself back into his jeans. “You continue to surprise me in the best way.” He sighed, resting his head in his hand, leaning against the seat, and smiled a little. “I know you’d do anything for me. For any of us. Same goes for us, to you, you know.”

Danny reached out, taking Jake’s other hand to hold between them. “I know.”

The smile grew, turning a little salacious. “So does this mean you’ll take me to that haunted house next weekend?” 

Danny lifted Jake’s hand to kiss his knuckles. “Anything you want. But does that mean we get to fuck around again after?”

Jake laughed, head thrown back. “Yeah, sure, as long as you protect me from all the monsters.” 

---

Tagging: @mackalah @kissingthegoat @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta

If you'd like to be tagged in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me :)

[black-queen-rising]

They Said "Kid, You Gotta Fake It Till You Make It"...Then I Did

(Closed starter for @goldenclarice)

One Moon Ago; The last day of the fourth month, two days before King Viserys’ death

“The Lady-Regent is of House Rowan by birth, gentle, intelligent, and sociable, everything a young Lord-Paramount would be lucky to find in his consort, and that is to say nothing of her connections.”

“Which are?” Rhaenyra’s eyes flitted over to the tall, lithe, and dark-blonde haired woman who stood opposite her in front of a map of The Reach and its borderlands the pair were surveying as she spoke. Lady Willow Fossoway, the eldest child of one of the Tyrell’s strongest banner men, had served as the new Queen’s lady-in-waiting for a decade; she was a stunningly talented musician and composer, so much so that the skill alone was more than enough to keep her in Rhaenyra’s employ, shielded from marriage to a man she would surely find no joy with, and lavished in the company of beautiful but lonely wives and gorgeous, self-abnegating eldest daughters. But the justification was only that, because the true purpose of Lady Willow’s service was as her liege’s principal spy, and spy mistress, in the kingdom’s wealthiest region, the place she was least likely to find allies of her own, the beating heart of The Faith, The Maesters, and the will to see Westeros’ first Ruling-Queen fail.

“The Shield Isles, to begin, she is one of thirteen children, and their Lady-Mother has seen them married despicably well.” Willow laughed shortly, “The eldest three girls all married the now-Lords of the islands, except Southshield, the Serrys are Lady Rowan’s maiden house, their alliance was never in doubt. The heir is my good-brother through Alysanne.”

“The second in your circle?” Rhaenyra questioned, clearly impressed, and Willow nodded satisfiedly.

“The very same! The spare is married to Lord Caswell’s eldest.”

“Wed to a woman set to inherit her father’s fortune, is that not the dream of every second son?” It was the Queen’s turn to laugh, then, and her lady hummed in amused agreement.

“The middle girl is married to the newly inherited Lord Tarly, and the Lady Regent’s closest older sister to the heir to their vassals, Petty Lords by the name of Hunt. As far as anyone can tell all to spurn her mother and the late-Lord Tyrell, which I imagine would’ve made a much larger statement if her sister had not married him herself less than two years later.”

“And the younger ones?”

“The youngest daughter recently came of age, it seems Lady Rowan will settle for no less with her than the heir to House Redwyne, there’s two younger boys as well, it seems they’re waiting in the wings to sure up alliances wherever they’re needed most. The second-youngest girl has accompanied Lady Tyrell to court though,” one of Willow’s perfectly manicured eyebrows raised as she concluded, “They aim high and higher, Lord Cedric and Lady Selyse, and you can be sure there’s soon to come great offense at the match of Prince Joffrey and Lady Alannys. With no marriage pacts to offer and Lord Greyjoy sitting on your council,” she bit the corner of her lip and sighed before concluding, “There may be no true leverage you hold to sway this faction to your side.”

“And their alliances with Oldtown?”

Willow laughed again, but far more harshly than the first, “None to speak of, Your Grace, though certainly not for lack of trying. You mustn’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of seeing these matters as black and white…or even black and green, the late-Lord was no true friend of the Hightowers either, but we will be played for fools if we rely on that simple neutrality.”

“And the late-Lord Tyrell, Lorence, right? Do you know the truth of what happened to him?”

“A skirmish in the Dornish Marches, it was seen by a dozen, and the wounds that caused his demise by thrice that.”

“I see,” Rhaenyra swallowed hard at the feeling of her stomach twisting; the Dornish envoy arrived not a week before, how could she accomplish anything, if she could not even put a stop to this meaningless fighting?

Now; The last day of the fifth month, one week before Queen Rhaenyra’s coronation

The meeting was to be held in the Small Council Chamber, formal introductions had been made on the Iron Throne before her father’s funeral had even come, but this was a conversation between allies, not a missive from a ruler to her vassal. Rhaenyra dressed in gold, daring to hope it would be taken as the show of good faith she intended; what was her reign if not the product of a decade, or three, spent making such gestures.

The Lady Regent is one and twenty, her son, Lyonel, just two.

The reminder bounced around her head, hitting a hundred sore spots on its path. Jace is twenty, Clarice not even a full year older, Rhaenyra herself already had two sons by that age, Joffrey would come before the year was out, she had been ruling Dragonstone nearly five years then. But the memory most in prominent in her mind remained how desperately lonely she had been...and how thoroughly trapped she had felt in the only tangible proof of her father’s love.

She has a mother, a father, half a dozen older siblings too, all supporting her, stop fretting over mothering someone who is not a child, and neither needs, nor wants it…

What would you not have given for the ally you could be to her in this Court? Where would you be if you hadn’t promised yourself so many times the Court you created would not be built off the backs of broken girls?

The battle in Rhaenyra’s thoughts did not cease until the guard outside the door announced, “The Lady-Regent Clarice Tyrell, for you, your Majesty.”

“Of course,” Rhaenyra stood to greet her guest, golden silk swirling around her as silver-gold curls hung elaborately around the Queen’s face and down her back. She was met by a girl with large, dark eyes, wearing an equally lavish gown, who upon closer inspection, could pass for even younger than already apparent youth. Her stomach twisted as the thought intruded into her already fraught mind; the girl you wished so badly for Jace to be…she’d look just. like. her.

Rhaenyra forced a dazzling smile, charm was a skill so practiced in her life she could fake it with an ease most did not even have when operating on intuition. “My Lady, it is a pleasure and a privilege. You have my thanks for making the time to speak privately and I am glad we’ve gotten this chance to acquaint ourselves with one another properly.”

[mysteriouslover1516]

Moon (Richy x MC) 3

Based on Jonah Kagen's song Moon. Read Part 1 and Part 2 first if not already done so.

I’ve got demons, you’ve got scars

But all the bumps and bruises take us the place we are

The smell of smoke and gasoline hit MC with a vengeance as the light in the distance grew closer, making her soon come to a startling realization. The light wasn’t a lantern, nor was it a flashlight…..it was actual flames. Faint coughing reached her ears as she picked up on the sound of crackling, roaring flames; the fire hungrily sapping up fuel.

We’ve been through heaven and then we fell

And you might think it’s over

“Hello?” MC called out hesitantly, debating whether or not to turn the corner, knowing she would then be vulnerable and out in the open. Who would she come face to face with? Michael? Richy? Shaking her head, she took a deep breath, the smell of fumes making her mind spin and eyes burn. She couldn’t be afraid, not now, he needed her, Richy needed her.

But the story’s ours to tell

Just know that I will be with you

Richy opened his eyes, his mind whirling. Was he hallucinating? Were the fumes getting to his head? He could have sworn he heard a voice, he heard her voice. But that was impossible…..she had sent Alan in her place. Alan had rescued Hannah, left the mine with her clasping tightly to his arm. He had watched them exit the Grimstone, then he shut the trap door behind them, making sure no one else could venture back inside. He couldn’t put anyone else’s life back in danger, not again, not anymore. As the smoke started to fill his lungs, his chest ached, his body quickly succumbing to an immense coughing fit, eyes closing once more.

Just keep looking for the moon and I’ll be here

While you’re searching for your life out in the dark

Stepping out of the shadows and into the blazing light casted by the dancing flames, MC’s thoughts slowly came to a stand still. All too familiar messy, blonde hair; those ocean blue eyes she had come to adore hidden behind closed lids; the slight dimples; staring straight back at her. Was he dead? “Richy?!” Her eyes flickered away from his face, gaze falling on his upper body. The navy blue hoodie he wore was coated with dirt and grime, a once-white wrapping barely clinging on to his right arm, stained crimson red. No, this wasn’t happening. No.

Looking for the moon, you’ll see it clear

Cause it shines the same wherever you are

The mechanic’s eyes snapped open as he heard his name being spoken, his eyes locking with those of the girl before him. Her face was pale, her hands shaking, he noticed the slight biting of her bottom lip, oh god. The red glow of the roaring flames mirrored themselves in her sad, beautiful eyes; tears starting to cascade down her cheeks and glisten in the mocking scarlet and maroon lighting. “MC.”

Let it guide you, don’t look behind you

If you stay within the light, I’ll always find you

In that moment, MC’s world fell apart,  it felt like her heart was shattering into a thousand billion pieces. Pieces that she would never be able to recover, that were impossible to glue together without cutting herself on the sharp shards. Pieces she wasn’t even sure she wanted to face ever again, pieces to relive. Jake was right…… oh god, he was right.  It was Richy, it was Richy all along.

Looking for the moon, and I’ll be here

If you don’t ever have to feel alone

“MC,” The blonde’s voice cracked as he watched her resolve fade. In that moment he was sure he had lost her, he had seen it, leaving him looking into a sad, desolate wasteland of racing emotions.

Cause I will be with you

“It was you.” MC barely recognized her own voice, the quietness of it startling her. “You.” More tears started to rapidly fall from her eyes, “Richy, how could you? How could you do this to Hannah, to your friends, to Jessy. How could you do this to ME?” She choked as she remembered the video call where he faked his death, the pain she had experienced then was nothing compared to what she felt now. “I loved you, Richy! When you….when I thought you died…..I cried so hard for you, I cried myself to sleep! Do you even care?!”

I will be with you

Keep looking for the moon

I will be with you

“Of course I cared!” Richy pleaded, struggling to his feet, a groan escaping his lips as his arm screamed its dismay at the sudden movement. “It killed me to do that to you! To know what kind of an effect it would have on you, what toll it would take! I-”

In my letters and in my songs

It’s the thought of you that fills them up

And keeps me feeling strong

“Then why would you do it?!” MC cried, barely registering the mechanic closing the gap between them. “Why Richy? You said you cared for me, and then you-”

I don’t regret it, I know it’s hard

But I know that we are greater than the sum of our hearts

Just know that I will be with you 

Ignoring the flames enclosing around them, his head growing numb to the pain in his shoulder, he reached his injured arm up to MC’s cheek, gently brushing away her tears with his thumb. “MC, I’m so sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean for it to go this far. Please, you have to believe me, I didn’t want this, MC! I never wanted this! Just give me a chance, a chance to explain, please, just give me another chance!”

Just keep looking for the moon and I’ll be here

While you’re searching for your life out in the dark

“You don’t deserve another chance, Richy!” MC cried, hating the way she felt herself leaning into his touch, the way her body was ultimately betraying her. “You deserve what’s happening to you, you deserve that gunshot wound in your shoulder! You deserve to die, Richy! You’re a monster! I-” her mouth struggled to form the words, the words that were echoing inside her head. I hate you.

Looking for the moon, you’ll see it clear

Cause it shines the same wherever you are

“MC, no,” Tear-filled blue eyes shone in the light of the flames. “Don’t say that, please. MC, I can’t lose you, god I can’t lose you! I know I deserve your hatred, I deserve you to despise me and wish me dead, but MC, I’m begging you, please, just don’t!” He subconsciously found his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest, noting her breath hitch at the closeness.

Let it guide you, don’t look behind you

If you stay within the light, I’ll always find you

“I don’t know you,” MC whispered as she looked up into his eyes. “The man I thought you were, it was all a lie, an act. I……..I don’t know you, and I don’t want to.” Her voice began to raise as the tears came more rapidly, suddenly trying to pull herself away from Richy’s arms. “You’re not the man I fell in love with, that guy was apparently just a figment of my imagination, he didn’t exist, he NEVER existed. You lied to me, deceived me! And I hate you, Richy! I hate you for what you did to me, for what you did to us, to Hannah. I HATE you and I hate that it’s killing me! I hate that I still find myself loving you, when all I want to feel towards you is hatred!”

Looking for the moon, and I’ll be here

Cause you don’t ever have to feel alone

“You have every right to hate me, I know.” Richy hung his head, fighting the urge to let go, instead he held her fighting and squirming in his arms. “But please, I’m begging you, don’t. I know I hurt you, I hurt you so so much. I know I took advantage of your feelings for me, I deceived you, lied to you about who I was. But you have to believe me, the affection I felt for you was all real. The feelings I shared with you, when I told you I liked you, I meant it. I know I lied to you about nearly everything, but if there is one thing you can believe me on, believe me when I say I still love you. Because MC, I still love you, and I never stopped and I never will until my dying breath! And I know you probably still hate my guts and think I’m once again trying to lead you astray with my words, but I promise, I mean it all with my whole heart!”

Cause I will be with you

I will be with you

“How am I supposed to believe you, Richy?” MC said weakly, finally resting in his hold, breath shaking. “After all you did, after so many lies, how am I supposed to believe you now? Because…….if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have gone this far, right? If you truly loved any of us, any of your friends, you wouldn’t have allowed everything to happen. It’s hard to trust you, no matter how much my heart wants me to forgive and forget, my head screams no, my instincts say to run and not look back. To leave you to your demise, let the others believe it was Michael all along, not their friend, not their beloved mechanic, not Richy Rogers, the man who always smiled and always had a joke for them.”

And I know how it feels to be lonely and lie awake on your own (I will be with you)

And I know how it hurts when you hide

That your heart is barely holding on (I will be with you)

“I know, MC, I know.” Richy sighs as his gaze shifted from her eyes, and then to her lips. “It would be crazy of you to forgive me, to simply act as I never did anything at all to hurt you, to forget.” He opened his mouth up as if to speak some more, but no sound came out, he was truly at a loss for words. There was nothing he could say that could reverse the past, excuse his actions. Nothing.

But if you think that I’ll forget you

Then you must be crazy

Suddenly a smoldering beam fell from the mine ceiling, jarring them both back to their present circumstances, the environment mimicking a raging furnace. “Richy, we need to get you out.”

Cause honestly it’s not only you that needs saving

I will be with you

“I don’t deserve it,” The blonde shook his head. “I don’t deserve you, MC.”

"Richy, don't, please-"

Just keep looking for the moon and I’ll be here

While you’re searching for your life out in the dark

“You said so yourself, MC. I’m a monster, I deserve to die, I deserve what is happening to me. I did this to myself and now it’s time to reap the consequences.” His lips screwed into a small, bitter smirk. “As my father used to say, you made your bed now lie in it.” A hollow chuckle escaped him, here he was literally laughing at danger, at death himself.

Looking for the moon, you’ll see it clear

Cause it shines the same wherever you are

“You want another chance, right?” MC asked seriously, eyes searching his ocean blue ones, the ones she found herself once more drowning in the more she stared. “Another chance for us?”

Keep looking for the moon

I will be with you (I will be with you)

“More than anything, MC.” More tears started to cascade down Richy’s cheeks, “But I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to burn you. I don’t deserve to take your hand, to walk out of this mine with you by my side. You deserve life, I deserve death. MC, I can’t-”

Keep looking for the moon

I will be with you

Cause I will be with you

MC cut him off by pressing her lips to his, “Save it for later,” she breathed out as she pulled away. “A the moment, we need to focus on escaping. And now.”

Hey lovelies! Thanks for sticking with me on this journey! Please like or comment, I love to hear from all of you! <3 <3 Part 4 is on its way.........

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)

Chapter Three

Warning: one trippy moment for reader, anxiety talk

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

Steven Grant is a pretty cool guy! He seems meek, shy, a bit anxious too; yet, this man can be brutal in his quips! Twice he caught you off guard when another employee tried to basically jerk him around. His old job's director used to do that along with never calling him by his name.

A condescending bitch is what he wouldn't say but you said it for him.

Steven also lives in the same apartment complex as your father! Top floor attic style, from what he has told you. Fancy in your mind, he says it's okay. Steven is self taught in almost everything when it comes to history and French. He likes burritos and his friend is a guy who pretends to be a statue.

Overall a guy you have no problem having a minor crush on.

In Steven's point of you: you have a lot of energy! Steven is trapped in the maelstrom called you each afternoon on a Wednesday, you said Wednesdays is your day off. He would be at lunch eating and you slide next to explaining how you are going to fist fight your art history professor. Or, showing him the sketches you got done while on the bus here. You are harmless and he found himself enjoying the company.

It took some getting used to someone talking to him back.

To have a friend who responds back with eagerness and ready to talk about any subject, he isn't used to that.

"Aw, you still have it!" Today he is walking you to a vegan cafe he enjoys from time to time.

"It's a lovely sketch. Are you studying art here?"

"Pft, no, for that I would be in South Korea."

"South Korea?"

"Animation and stuff." Shrugging, "I'm studying history and figured why not try out the international problem plus see my old man." Hands moving as you talk, "You never seen him before?"

"Never met most of the residents. We tend to keep to ourselves." The alternative text was that at the time he was afraid of everyone and scared an old lady when Khonshu was walking towards him through a dark hallway. Steven thought he was crazy, completely batshit nuts.

You nod then glance at your phone checking the time, "Saturday you wanna see an art gallery? A classmate invited me to come see their show." Then you nudge him with your shoulder as he orders some food, "Unless that guy at the cafe finally asked you out, ay ay?"

Steven gets flustered easily, "N-no, anyway he tends to flirt with everyone."

"Booooo." 

Lunch with Steven is always educational, he tells you something new or helps you find a better way to remember key dates for a test (it's a pain in the ass). You in turn let him vent, you love when he vents about work!

"Ya'know," Sitting down enjoying the scenery of the cafe and cute Steven. "It's good to know even at thirty years old life is still confusing as fuck."

"You make me sound old, (Name)."

"Older than me! You're at the age my dad helped make me."

He groans, putting his face in his hands while you laugh.

*

Thursday.

Forum update.

New theory support but a new picture! Which said picture looks almost unbelievable. The costume is completely different from the other two though it fits the moon theme.

CapPuertoRico4Prez says: Could be a fake

IntoSpideysHeart says: Idk man it looks real af

Thunderclapping says: Could there be more than one? So far all of them look completely different from each other. Maybe there's more than one??? Like tht one issue of The Bat and Robins where there were more than 1 lady bat.

The forum blew up from there going over and re-analyzing reports and pictures. You just liked seeing the posts. 

*

Saturday could not come fast enough and your dad of course had to embarrass you. Dressing nice means you like him (true but just cause he is cute!) and since he is a boy (your dad though learned to apply that to anyone now) and is meaning you at your door.

Conclusion: scare the man!

You begged him not to be weird when Steven came down to the apartment to pick you up. Your father had to go do the dad-cop move! 

"Thanks, bye dad see you later!" Grabbing Steven out of the kitchen and out the door.

Neither of you spoke until you both were outside waiting for the ride you booked to show up.

"Nice man."

You groaned as Steven broke the silence as you walked. "Listen, I'm sorry about interrogation—"

"(Name), it's alrigh'. I can say now I was interrogated by a bobby."

"American one. Retired veteran and officer." You sigh, "Dads… So extra."

Steven wouldn't know but he nods. He envies you from what you told him about your family. Close with you mother, kinda close with your dad; overall connected to your parents.

"Thanks for being cool about it, Steven."

The gallery your classmate rented out is in Soho which is far from your place, and there are a few spots around to eat and window shop around.

Ideal date vibes. Downside, uber fare prices.

"Are you sure you don't want to take a bus?" Asking as you showed on your phone map the places they should go to after the gallery's presentation.

"Bruh, I one time walked all of Manhattan because Spiderman was seen swinging around."

"Spiderman?"

"... Seriously? You never heard of the Amazing Spiderman!?" Steven can't help admiring how easily excited you get and energy you have, the saying 'kid at heart' really suits you. "Okay, uh guess makes sense given.. Seriously, you never heard of him?"

"Busy adulting." Sharky, "Finding a job, shopping, basic functions for being alive. The economy." 

You snicker at how he copied your complaints from before though you were more dramatic, "Okay, valid."

The conversation goes off and on, comfortable silence then you pointing out things like a tourist.

You stole glances at him during the car ride.

"When you said gallery," Getting out of the car then assisting you out. "I thought it was going to be small with pictures on the wall." You shrug after giving thanks to the driver and closing the door.

"They're loaded." Most of your classmates are of the privileged percentage. "They're one of nice ones and they offer me some good critiques. They worked really hard for this." Taking his hand tugging him along.

You aren't labeling this a date.

Marc is telling Steven this has all the signs of a date.

The gallery is full of paintings, sculptures, and video presentations of music. Your classmate is a modern day Renaissance person!

Steven is distracted by your hold on his arm, firm and secure, as you show him the different paintings or sculptures you witnessed while in the art workshop.

"They love space." He finds himself enjoying this almost as if you infectiously passed on your excitable nature to him. To say he is enjoying himself is putting it mildly with you by his side.

Then Steven suddenly wasn't by your side as a crowd rolled in.

It happens! One moment you are with someone the next they are missing. The crowd going around checking out every inch of the place, you figure to stay where you are. You stood there standing in front of still life painting, your eye taking in the details and brushstrokes seen in the light. You hope they make it out there in whatever field their art is going to take them.

You turn around figuring to do a lookover the crowd to see if Steven is wandering around, then you freeze up. 

A large creature with a body made of what seems like stars and nebulae, a human-like face, and a scepter.

You rub your eyes, blink twice, and pinch yourself.

Holy shit. Not again.

You don't know who or what you are seeing standing next to a man who is talking to your classmate. All you know it looked at you and you turned around pretending to be reading the gallery brochure. Silently praying it didn't see you, praying you maybe are just tripping out.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck!?

"Hello," The man's voice right behind you. His accent is not British.

Don't freak out, just breathe, "Oh, hello!" Awkwardly turning fearful to see the– Nothing is there. You are so confused right now. "Uh, hi." Maybe it's the paint, yeah totally the paint fumes.

The man holds out his hand, "Thank you for coming, this means a lot to them."

"Oh, it was nothing! I mean this isn't nothing, no problem getting here." You gather your thoughts, "Who are you?"

"A family friend. I have been helping them achieve their goal to break into the art world." So pleasant with a firm business grip, "They told me you are also an artist."

Just when you are about to relax… The creature is back right behind him looking down at you.

Shake your head very quickly and take your hand away, "N-no, just a hobby. Would be in South Korea for animation if I did! Haha." You want to bolt so bad but you know you would look crazy. You feel crazy! "Sorry, um I gotta go to the powder room." Smiling nervously as waved goodbye then speed walking away.

The bathroom is empty and you lean forward against the long sink counter, closing your eyes and counting from ten backwards. Maybe your anxiety triggered you seeing whatever that, God, you wished mom let you figure out why you sometimes see strange things! Google can only do so much! You groan as you reopen your eyes taking a slow breath in then out. At least it was a jackal this time.

When you leave the bathroom, you hear voices coming from the hall just beside where you are.

"Khonshu."

"Ptah."

You stay hidden as you grow curious about the conversation.

"The Gods must be desperate for more avatars. You never cared to just observe humans."

"And you must be desperate to have an avatar. Lots of talk about how broken his mind is. That's pretty low but no surprise coming from you."

You blink a few times, very confused by the way these people are talking. So you take out your phone putting it in camera mode on the selfie view. Peeking it a bit out, you cover your mouth when you see something freaky as all hell.

[miraculouscontent]

Marinette was officially done with Hawk Moth interfering in her life. She could take him interrupting school, or her time out with friends (which had become increasingly awkward as of late anyway), or even her moments of being bogged down with projects.

But interrupting her one-on-one time with Luka? First their movie date and now their moment of getting ice cream together? Absolutely not.

As far as she was concerned, this meant war. If Hawk Moth wanted to shove himself into her life like a nosy busybody who couldn’t go five seconds without trying to take away her means of happiness, then fine.

Two could play at that game, and she was feeling petty enough to make the next move. She’d had to mull over the subject for a while to figure anything out, not to stop him for good exactly, but at least put an annoying dent in his plans, much like he always did with her.

She had an idea by evening, and got to put it into action right after school. She was saying good-bye to a few of her friends, and had hopped onto the back of Luka’s bike afterwards, her hands carefully on his waist while he rode off along the sidewalk.

A flicker of black and purple caught her eye, and instead of the usual dread or panic, she grinned to herself.

“Luka! Stop!”

He stiffened, but obeyed, putting full force on the brakes and screeching the bike to a sudden halt.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.

Hurriedly getting off the bike, she took off her helmet and handed it to him. “I’m sorry, will you wait here for a few minutes? I promise I’ll be right back!”

Knowing she had to be quick, she didn’t wait for him to reply. She placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning in to place a long, meaningful kiss on his cheek.

If he had prepared a reply, the kiss stopped it, and she ran off to the nearest hiding place while he stared blankly ahead at nothing.

After ducking into an alley and taking a quick look around to ensure it was safe, Marinette opened her purse to let out Tikki, as well with the other kwami necessary for her plans: Kaalki.

“Let’s do this!”

— — — — —

Soon after Pegabug had entered the scene, giving chase to the akuma, Chat Noir wasn’t far behind. Part of her questioned how he’d gotten there so soon, but she squashed the thought just as quickly as it’d come so as to not dwell on the potential identity questions.

“Love the new look, m’lady. What’s the occasion?” he asked in his usual flirtatious tone. “Or did you dress up just for me?”

“Not now, Chat,” she replied shortly, adjusting her sunglasses as she neared the butterfly in question. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Of course! Anything.”

“When I give the command, grab the akuma.”

“I—” He blanked. “Grab it?”

“I’ll explain later,” she assured. Squinting at the butterfly, which seemed to be on a straight path, she felt the moment hit like the epiphany of her Lucky Charm. “Now!”

Slightly panicked, but not asking anything more, Chat Noir sped forward. He dropped to all fours to pick up speed, then leapt for the butterfly. In a swift motion, he trapped the akuma between his hands, and Pegabug reeled her hand back as she felt the charge of her power.

“Voyage!”

The portal launched from her hands, manifesting right in front of Chat Noir. He went through and she followed behind him.

On the side of the portal, she landed politely on her feet while he crashed onto the floor, though he managed to keep the akuma contained in his hands.

A startled Wang Cheng stood up from his chair, looking between the two in surprise, but he calmed himself soon after. “It is time?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, walking over and helping Chat up due to his inability to use his hands.

He shook himself of the impact, then glanced at Wang, Pegabug, and finally the night sky out the window. “M’lady, if he means time to explain why you catapulted us to China, then I’m all ears.” His fake cat ears twitched in emphasis.

“Not exactly, but we can do that too,” she assured. Closing her eyes, she whispered a quick, “Kaalki, divide,” to allow the horse part of her transformation to drop. Pulling out her yoyo to grab a treat, she offered it to Kaalki to let her recharge before addressing the issue properly.

“Chat, you remember Wang,” she stated, walking alongside Wang as they traversed the rooms of the house. Hearing Chat’s footsteps behind her, she continued, “We saved him after he was akumatized into Kung Food.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Chat confirmed, still just as puzzled as before.

“Well, he’s the only one I know who’s out of the country.” She grinned slyly. “And out of Hawk Moth’s radius.”

Chat tilted his head. “Radius?”

Ladybug waited to answer until she saw the little habitat that had been set up, exactly as she’d asked for. Wang opened it for her and stepped aside, then gestured to it, which gave Chat enough of a hint to approach and outstretch his arms so they were inside the mini enclosure.

He hesitated, but released the akuma and recoiled quick enough for Ladybug to snap the habitat shut, thus sealing the butterfly inside.

“The butterfly miraculous has limits,” she explained, pointing to the trapped akuma, “and this is one of them. Hawk Moth can’t sense or do anything with this akuma from this distance, and he’s only allowed one at a time.”

“Meaning...?”

“Meaning that he can’t make another until this one breathes its last breath.” She tossed a grateful smile Wang’s way. “So please take good care of it, sir.”

Wang bowed his head in respect. Chat, meanwhile, was gaping.

“Wait, so that means—?”

“It might not be long,” she admitted, “because we don’t know how old this butterfly is, but—” She raised a finger as she made her point. “—as long as it lives and kept in that habitat, he can’t akumatize anyone.”

With a confident walk, she made her way back to the room they’d originally come from.

Chat, still in a state of shock, followed after and kept pace with her. “What about sentimonsters?”

Ladybug shrugged. “Mayura can still send them if she wants, but it’ll go just as badly.”

“Why?”

“For one, sentimonsters follow the orders of the one with the object, and no akuma means that Hawk Moth doesn’t have any control. For two, if I can teleport the feather away before Mayura can de-power it herself, then she’s stuck with no sentimonster for even longer than the akuma. Feathers take a few months to wear out, and I think they know that. Once they realize the risks, I don’t think we’ll be seeing any sentimonsters all by themselves.”

Stopping at the spot where she’d made the portal originally, she tossed a smile Kaalki’s way and outstretched her hands accordingly, calling upon her transformation once again with, “Tikki, Kaalki, unify!”

Chat didn’t even flinch at the flash of light, staring at the floor instead as he scratched his head. “But—uh—” He paused, needing a moment to come up with more questions. “what if Mayura makes her own sentimonster again?”

“Then I’m sending it to the moon,” she answered nonchalantly. “If they want to waste my time like this, then I’m not messing around anymore. Either they come fight me themselves or I’m keeping every akuma and feather I can here, where they can’t do anything with them.”

He opened his mouth, perhaps to throw out another argument, but she’s stumped him. His lips pursed as he seemed deep in thought, which evolved into a pout as he asked, “So, I guess we won’t be spending as much time together?”

“What?” Pegabug raised a brow, thrown off by that being his concern.

“A-ah—” He seemed to catch himself, waving his hands in defense. “Nothing, m’lady! You’re a genius, as always, and we still have patrols!”

“...Thanks,” she said neutrally, her mind on anything but him even as he tried to flirt.

After all, there was someone waiting for her back in Paris.

— — — — —

“Luka!”

Marinette beamed in both gratefulness and relief as she saw Luka still in the same spot as before, and even in the same position as well. She ran up to him, grabbing his shoulder again with one hand while she took her helmet back with the other.

She kissed his cheek again, a little more lightly than before but with just as much affection. The contact seemed to bring him back to life, his smile returning to his face as he settled his hands back on the bike’s handles.

“Did everything work out alright?” he asked.

“Mhm. I was just—” She paused, a lie almost reflexively coming out of her mouth before she settled on the closest thing to the truth she could, deciding that he deserved as much. “—taking care of something. Hopefully it works out.”

“Knowing you, I bet it will,” he assured with a fond look.

She beamed at him and put her helmet back on, settling herself behind him on his bike so her hands could rest on his waist again. She heard the ‘clink’ of the kickstand as Luka nudged it up with his heel, and then they were off again.

Happy thoughts of Hawk Moth screaming in his lair as he discovered her plan slowly transitioned into blissful imaginings of all the uninterrupted dates she could go on now. Out of sight, out of mind, just as Hawk Moth deserved to be.

[inkandpen22]

Chaotic as The Sea (3/?)

Pairing: Jack Sparrow x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3k Warning: swearing, violence Part Summary: The Black Pearl arrives in Bimini and as any adventure with Jack Sparrow, there’s chaos

Masterlist

Two days later... 

Will

We arrive at Bimini as the sun begins to set. Y/N and Barbosa argue that we should wait until sunrise to explore the island. I argue that we can't waste another minute without trying to rescue Elizabeth. Jack, to my surprise, agrees that we shouldn't wait. Though, I think his reasoning is because he wants to see the fountain. 

Barbosa, Jack, Gibbs, Ragetti, Pintel, Y/N, and I all hop off the boat to explore the island. Gibbs, Will, and Pintel all carry long torches for us as the only sources of light. 

"Okay, so I know the general direction, but unless you feel like risking the chance of getting lost, which I don't, I suggest we use the compass," Y/N announces. 

"I thought you were certain of the fountain's location," Barbosa remarks a tad agitated. 

"Every tree and speck of white sand look exactly the same. Next trip, I'll drop your ass in a jungle in the middle of the night and tell you to find your way out!" She snaps. 

"Okay, well then let's use the compass." Ragetti takes the compass of Jack's belt and hands it to Y/N. 

The device begins to spin in her hand and Ragetti peeks over her shoulder. Jack quietly moves to stand beside her, wishing to catch a glimpse of himself. 

Abruptly, Y/N shuts the compass and frantically tries to get rid of it. "Oh uh, no it's okay, Jack can take it." She tosses it to him. 

"Me?" He looks at her wide-eyed and panicky. "No, give it to Will! He wants to find the bloody place." He tosses it to me. 

"What's wrong with you two?" Barbosa yells in frustration. 

"The compass doesn't work for them," I state. 

"Seriously!" Y/N huffs. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Barbosa questions. 

"When Jack holds it the arrow points to Y/N," I explain pointing between them. 

"Who told you that!" Jack questions. 

Then, Jack and Y/N both glare at Gibbs. "Gibbs!" They bark in unison. 

The older man holds up his hands in surrender. 

"Well, why can't Y/N do it?" Pintel questions timidly, circling his hands together. 

"Why can't Will just bloody do it and we can move on!" The woman challenges. 

Jack nods. "I'm with her on this one." 

I sigh. "When Y/N holds it, it points toward whatever she wants so bad in New France." 

"But isn't New France North of here?" Ragetti questions. 

"Yes!" The rest of us answer in unison. 

His face scrunches together in confusion. "But uh-" 

Y/N elbows Ragetti in the ribs. "Shut it!" She's quick to change the subject. "Let's go! Will! I'll lead the way, you just act as a checker." 

_______________________________________________

30 minutes later... 

Y/N

As the seven of us continue to march through the thick jungle, Jack appears beside me. "After we're finished in New France. I say you and I pay a visit to Tortuga for old time's sake." 

I laugh. "Ha! Wish to relive our break-up?" 

"Think of it as a celebration of our reunion," he tries to sugarcoat it. 

I roll my eyes, laughing as I move ahead to join Will up front. "In your dreams!" 

Ragetti

I pick up my pace to catch up with Pintel. "I know something you don't know!" 

"What?" He eagerly asks. 

"When Y/N was holding the compass, the arrow was pointing toward her," I whisper. 

His face scrunches together. "Y/N desires herself?" 

"No!" I huff. "Jack was standing next to her!" 

He gasps, putting it all together. "So you mean-" 

"Yes!" 

He grins. "That's kinda sweet actually." 

Y/N

"Now be careful!" I announce to the men, watching my step as we get closer to the mountainside. "The natives made pit traps and other boobytraps-" 

Before I can finish my warning. Jack screams from the back of the group. When I whip my head around, Jack is nowhere to be seen. "For idiots like Jack," I sigh. 

"Does anyone see him?" Will questions, moving his torch around. 

"It's kind of dark!" Gibbs remarks. 

"Thank Jack and Will for that! They refused to wait until morning," I grumble, marching back to where I last saw Jack.  

"Jack!" We all call in a scatter as we search. 

"Captain!" Gibbs shouts. 

We all watch our steps, checking the heavily covered jungle floor and sky for any sign of him. He could be hanging from a tree in a net or in a hole somewhere. If it's deep enough and well covered, it'll be hard to hear him.

"This is ridiculous!" Gibbs huffs. 

"I say we leave him and tell the crew some natives got him," Barbosa suggests.  

"I have an idea," I announce as one pops into my head. "Give me the compass," I ask Will, holding out my head. 

"But how will that help?" He questions with a raised brow. 

I hold the compass in my palm and lift the lid. I watch as the arrow spins. Soon, each of the men are gathered around me in a circle, eager to catch a glimpse. Then, the arrow stops, pointing Southeast. The men break apart, allowing me to follow it. 

"Watch your step," I advise. 

I keep a close eye on the arrow, making sure it doesn't change direction. I'm about to take another step when Will suddenly grabs my arm. I glance ahead and realize there's a massive pit in front of me. Its edges were covered in leaves and brush. 

"Oh, thanks," I exhale deeply. 

"Captain! You down there?" Gibbs shouts down below, holding a torch above the massive pit. 

I kneel down beside the pit and await an answer. 

There's a faint, "Am I dead?" 

I giggle and shout back. "No, you're not dead you idiot!" 

"Pintel! Ragetti! Go fetch a rope from the ship!" Barbosa commands, sending the two off. 

I laugh, relieved that Jack is okay. Based on the distant swooshing sound, the pit is filled with water thankfully, not spikes. This could've been a recovery mission. I sit back on my knees and glance up to find the remaining three men staring at me with knowing grins. 

"What!" I sass, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Nothing," they all say, breaking apart to roam in different directions. 

I roll my eyes, such nosy people, pirates. 

____________________________________________

The men work together, yanking Jack up from the bottom of the pit. I remained to kneel beside the edge, holding up a torch so we can see Jack when he pops up. 

"Ho!" Barbosa calls out as they tug the robe. "Ho!" 

Soon, Jack appears from within the darkness and I grip his belt, guiding him to safety. The men release the rope and relax, releasing panting breaths. 

"You okay? Captain!" Gibbs questions. 

"Yeah," Jack flips onto his back, catching his breath, "yeah, I should be fine. How did you-" His eyes flicker about until his eyes land on the compass on the ground beside me. 

"Ah, now that's interesting." A cheeky smirk begins to form on his face as he lifts his gaze to meet mine. 

I shove him in the shoulder, frustrated. "I told you to watch where you were going!" He has no idea how worried I was. 

"I was a tad distracted by you, Love," he chuckles. 

My eyes fall shut as I release a sigh of relief. Thank God, he's okay. 

Jack places his hand on my thigh, capturing me by surprise. His dark eyes meet might and I place my hand over his. He flips his over and they interlock in my lap. His eyes soften at the sight. 

Suddenly, there's a series of yells from across the jungle. Each of us tosses our heads to the side and sees small glimmers of light in the distance. Jack flies up beside me from his laid position. 

"Are they with us?" He questions. 

There's the ring of a gunshot and the bullet hits the tree right by Barbosa's head. 

"Don't think so!" Will declares, his voice shaky. 

"Who are they?" I shout. 

"Wait! They're Black Beard's men! I remember one of them. He's the one who took Elizabeth!" Will determines. 

“How did they find the fountain?” Barbosa yells. 

“He knew you’d come and find me!” I comprehend and look over at Jack. “He’s been following us here!” 

Pintel and Ragetti immediately make a run for it. 

“I’m with them, time to go!” Will decides and starts to run back to the ship. 

Jack takes my hand and instantly brings me to my feet. We begin to run too, hand in hand. 

“Cowards!” Barbosa shouts and stands his ground. He whips out his gun and begins to shoot at the mob. “Come and get it you slimy gits! Ha!” He laughs. 

Running utterly blind in the dark jungle, there’s hardly any light other than that that can make it through the tree tops from the moon. We make it through the jungle and see the beach a few yards ahead. Will and the two morons make a bee-line for the ship, when they’re suddenly stopped by a cluster of Blackbeard’s men running from down the beach. Jack pulls me into his side and draws his sword.

 Suddenly, I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and I’m yanked away from Jack. He immediately whips around and his eyes grow wide. My back slams into someone’s chest and I struggle to free myself. More of Blackbeard’s men appear from within the jungle and begin to fight Jack. Two men begin to drag me off and I fling around, trying to break free. 

"Jack!" I scream. “Let me go you bastards!” 

Jack searches for me and when he finally spots me, he screams. "No!" He looks at me pleading and full of guilt. 

As more of Blackbeard’s men appear, we both quickly realize there’s nothing either of us can do. These morons are taking me to their ship, more than likely to see their captain and to be held prisoner. This is yet another reunion I did not request. 

______________________________________

After sailing out to the Queen Anne's Revenge a couple hundred yards from the island, the nasty men take me aboard and immediately drag me off to the captain’s quarters. They swing open the double doors below top deck and we enter a familiar red velvet decorated office. 

A tall man stands behind the desk with his back to us. "And who do we have here?" A familiar voice purrs. When he spins around, his grin falls to confusion. "Y/N?" 

"I told you! Idiots!" I huff and yank my arms free from his buffoons."Hi, Eddie," I offer a fake smile.

"Eddie?" The pair beside me repeat in unison. 

The captain pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "How many times must I tell you?" 

"You could hand me the Templar Treasure yourself, I won't call you Blackbeard. It's stupid," I laugh, approaching him. 

"Leave us," he commands his minions. Once we’re allow, he moves to stand the other side of his desk. He props himself against it with a grin. "So, you and Jack are back together again..." 

"No way in hell," I snicker, taking a look about his office. He’s changed it in the last five years. "He promised me he knew where the Templar Treasure was, I'm simply completing my half of the deal." 

"Which is?" He inquires. 

I stop my admiring of his decor to meet his gaze. "Showing him to the fountain." 

"You would honestly betray me like that?" He acts offended my placing his hand against his chest. 

"If it guaranteed me the Holy Grail? Yes,” I stand firm. 

"Your loyalties still lie with that treasure? You truly are a pirate at heart,” he smirks. He rises from his position on the desk to pour us chalices of wine. As he approaches me, his eyes travel up and down my entirety. "Dare I say, you look amazing." 

I accept the wine, but roll my eyes at his compliment. "Oh save it.” 

He pouts dramatically. "What happened to the spirited eighteen-year-old I first met?” He reaches up and tucks strands of my hair behind my ear. “You're bitter now." 

I lift my arm and knock his hand away from me. "It's called maturing." 

"Have you matured enough to conclude that I'm the better man than Jack?" He smirks, stepping closer to me. 

I move away from him and toward the book case against the far wall behind his desk. "I think I prefer neither of you,” I answer over my shoulder. 

"One point, if I recall correctly, there was a point where you couldn't choose between us." He narrows his eyes, taking a sip of his wine as he creeps closer to me again. "Do you remember those few months in Bermuda?" 

I shift of my heels, allowing my eyes to fall to the Persian rug beneath them. "It was always going to be him, Eddie..." 

Abruptly, he rushes toward me and pins me against the bookcase. My wine falls out of my hand and stains the rug. "I could've had you if I wanted!" He growls. 

I look him dead in the eyes with a clenched jaw. "You dare threaten me!” 

He laughs mockingly. "What? Going to curse me?" 

I grin. "That used to terrify you if I recall correctly." 

"You're all bark and no bite. I happen to know for a fact, you don't practice dark magic!" He challenges. 

"Just because I don't practice it, doesn't mean I don't know how to use it.”  

There’s a commotion outside and soon the double doors swing open to reveal Jack marching in, gun drawn. While Eddie is distracted I pick up a vase off one of the shelves near me and I knock him over the head with it. The vase shatters into a hundred pieces over his head and the man falls to the ground with a thud at my feet. My chest rises and falls rapidly as I meet Jack’s gaze. His eyes flicker away from the man knocked out on the floor and up to me. 

"I hate that I'm relieved to see you," I pant. 

He runs over to me and takes my hand. "Consequence of loving me." He guides me over to one of the windows and swings it open. “Can you jump?” 

I look at him as though he as three heads. “Can you jump? What kind of dumb question is that?” I mock. Then, I ask him a similar dumb question. “I don’t know Jack, can you swim?” I roll my eyes and climb up onto the windowpane and jump out. 

“Jesus, Mary, and the bloody camel sorry for asking!” I hear him grumble under his breath as climbs out the window and jumps in after me. 

___________________________________

Jack

We’re not sure how we’ll get Elizabeth back, but we will. Though, I suspect that he was never after the fountain. No, what he truly wanted was Y/N and the fountain was just a cover-up. I brought her right to him. For now, we just need to create some distance between us so we can form a plan. 

Y/N climbs the ladder above me and Gibbs helps her on board. She offers him a thank you and brushes herself down. The crew is well into their tasks, getting us far from this island as soon as possible. 

“Glad to see you’re safe, Miss,” Gibbs greets. 

“Did everyone make it back okay?” She questions as I climb aboard. 

“Yes, even I,” Barbosa announces with a proud grin. “Not with the help of you lot,” he adds. 

“Don’t exactly have a death wish,” she giggles. 

“There’s a change of clothes for you in the Captain’s office,” Gibbs informs her. 

She offers him thanks and begins toward my quarters. Barbosa and Gibbs break apart to return to their positions. 

“You! Hold it!” I call out. 

The two men glance in my direction, wondering who I’m speaking to. They follow my gaze to Y/N. 

She whips her head around, her gorgeous, long, wavy, Y/H/C flowing in the breeze. She crosses her arms over chest. “Excuse me?” She scoffs with a grin forming on her lips. 

I narrow my gaze at her. “I have one question.” 

Barbosa and Gibbs watch the interaction, their heads tilting back and forth between us with each exchange. The crew too watches as they attempt to multitask with their duties. Her eyes remain on the deck panels and anywhere else but me. 

“Did you know the compass would lead you to me?” I ask. 

There’s a pause and I can tell she’s reluctant to answer despite the amused expression she wears. Then, her eyes rise to meet mine with a sigh. “Yes... maybe...” 

I smirk, approaching her slowly. “Oh see now that’s interesting, don’t you think?” 

“What? Just going to gloat about the ship now?” She rolls her eyes, directing her focus in the distance away from me. 

I bring my hands up to her cup her face and make her meet my gaze. To my surprise and pleasure, she doesn’t move from her spot or shove me away. Instead, brings her fingers to hook through the loops of belt. 

“You stay with me from now on. No more hiding out.” I smirk. “That’s an order,” I tease quietly between us. 

“Whatever you say...” Her eyes fall to my lips and then flicker back to my eyes. She grins. “Captain.” 

One my hands slips behind her head to her neck and I bring my lips to meet hers in a needy kiss. Her arms fling over my shoulders, deepening the kiss. 

“Now they’re going to be insufferable!” I hear Barbosa grumble to Gibbs as he stomps off. 

Five years of searching for her, waiting for, wondering if I’ll ever see her again. What happened between us all those years ago is one of my greatest regrets if not the biggest. Our relationship has never been easy, in fact it’s exceedingly complicated and one giant headache. We haven’t stopped arguing since the moment we met and rarely agree on anything. Yet, we love as we do argue with each other, passionately and with everything we have. Now that I have Y/N back and I know she loves me in return, I’m never letting her go. God help me if I let Blackbeard anywhere near her. 

_______________________________

Masterlist

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[river-bottom-nightmare]

heads or tails or heads or tails, his father said. the coin flipped through the air and landed on its rim, perfectly balanced. his father grinned, an ugly thing that seemed to split his face in two. this wasn't either/or, this wasn't heads or tails. this was both, neither, a confounding result that allowed harvey a desperate getaway. he packed his bags and drank in the fresh air at summer camp, light enough to fly, light enough to cry. there was another boy at the camp, a name obviously fake, a face thin and sallow enough to drown in. but he never laughed when harvey ate too fast and kept quiet when harvey woke up trembling and sat with him in a meadow, picking flowers as harvey spilled the worst of his memories. (harvey clung to the memory of that boy tight through the years, ignoring the steadily increasing tabloids and headlines, fixating on his fingers winding through dandelions so strongly, he was beginning to think he'd imagined the whole thing.)

one or two or one or two, he thought. option one: he gave up his dignity to carmine falcone, the slimy son of a bitch. he kept his head down and his nose clean, the shiny new lawyer springing up from gotham's swamp, ready to take the city by its reins and be a powerful force. a powerful, leashed force, content to stay quiet by falcone's side and do everything the man demanded, despite the suffering he'd caused, despite the way falcone ripped apart the city with jagged fingernails and bled it dry, strangling harvey and every other kid in it. or option two: his eyes grew permanent purple bags, he downed cup after cup of coffee, he lived in a shitty, asbestos-lined apartment with waterlogged papers and a moth-eaten briefcase. he stayed honest, he helped those who needed it, he saved those who would be called hopeless cases. he felt their gratitude in every press of their fingers, every sniffled tear, he spent the rest of his life knowing he'd done as much good as he possibly could. (harvey had maybe always idolized gordon, and deep down, he knew it wasn't a choice, the same way law had never been a choice, the same way loving the boy behind those newspaper headlines had never been a choice. harvey was going to help.)

black or white or black or white, batman was the black, was the cape that shrouded the city like a cerement, was the closest thing gotham city had to a primrose. he had harvey's support until he died. but he wasn't alone. he couldn't be working alone, no one person pour so much of themselves into the city and still be alive. bruce wayne was involved, not the flashy little camera-darling but the fierce skin-of-the-teeth sort of boy harvey met as a kid, and gordon too, harvey was sure of it. there was more, though, it couldn't be that simple. there isn't black without white, there wasn't the batman without something lighter to balance him. whispers, rumours, half-moon eyes filled with wonder; there was someone else out there with batman. (harvey knew how gordon looked at him, how his insane quest to track down the one (ones) behind the cowl. maybe he was obsessed, maybe he was slowly losing his sanity, but life always came in twos. harvey's true insanity was his desperation to prove that.)

left or right or left or right, harvey gasped, trying to filter out the panicked screams around him. to the right was safety, was the distant sound of firefighters and people rushing to help strangers off the street. to the right was the choice any sane person would have made, and gotham's air was smoggy and thick and baneful, but it would keep him alive. to the left was a fire. drake winston was trapped in the building, a life balancing on the rim of a coin, and batman wasn't here. harvey always knew his oversized, pulsing, bleeding heart would be the death of him. running through the blaze was brutal, but he kept catching glimpses of drake's jacket in the corner of his eye. just a little closer, just a little closer, just closer until—until he's screaming, until he's writhing in pain, until he's gotten both arms bound to the pyre and the flames are licking his body, ragged teeth sinking into him all plum and pith. (he thinks he sees the faint sweep of a black cape before his eyes can't bear to hold themselves open any longer. he thinks rather hysterically, if batman also went left, harvey chose the right path.)

heads or tails or heads or tails, he said, staring at himself in the hospital room. a coin, one side scarred out, flipped through the air and landed on its rim, perfectly balanced. he grinned, an ugly thing that split his face in two. this wasn't either/or, this wasn't heads or tails. this was both, neither, a confounding result that left behind a thing, all that was left of harvey dent. a million choices, his counterpart says, a million tiny accidents that could have led to either a faultless future but instead led to this: a perfect half of his body turned pick and puckered and oozing, vocal cords half gnawed to destruction, charred fingers and skin grafts and pain. it was a simple choice harvey made, again and again and again until harvey didn't exist anymore, until all that was left was a moribund creature that knew far too much about the power of a coin flip. (harvey always cared too much anyway, two-face thought. cared about the boy that got him killed, cared about batman and his fluttering bird, cared about falcone and his thugs, cared about a quiet boy from a summer camp over a decade ago who didn't remember harvey's name. but it was always a choice, and lucky for them, two-face would be making the choices from now on.)

---

*sprinkles in random pieces of various canons like i'm tossing pasta salad* i'm sorrryyyyyy this is a day late so i'm posting this on 2/3/22 like a fool. but better late than never?

tag list: @graysonisms @birdy-bat-writes @screennamealreadyused @clamityganon @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @subtleappreciation @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical @two-faceday2022

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Where’s my white flag? (Bucky x reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count 2620

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, depression, worthlessness

Summary: Reader is on the roof experiencing suicidal ideation and Bucky talks her down from it. 

A/N: Please, PLEASE, if you think this will do more harm than good, skip this one. I don’t want to harm anyone in their journey, but writing comfort helps me feel as if I am getting it. I hope that you can feel some too, because people do care. If you feel similar ways to this fic, please reach out, you're not alone. As always, my messages are open too. <3

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @thatfangirl42

---------------

It was a gorgeous night, really. It was a warm summer night, a light breeze blowing your hair. The sky was clear, stars scattered across it. The moon was bright, and the streets weren’t too loud for New York. The buildings lit up the streets, and even in the busy city setting, it wasn’t as harsh as it could be sometimes. It really was beautiful.

Especially looking over it from the roof of Stark Tower. 

You knew you weren’t doing yourself a favor, sitting with your legs over the edge gazing out at the streets below. You knew it wasn’t the best choice for your mentality. Not that you cared much anyway.

See, life had been less than kind to you recently. You loved your family, the Avengers, and being on the team. But one day, doubts and stress had crept in. you don’t know why or when exactly it happened but soon the bad days became bad weeks. It wasn’t long before a good day came as a surprise, and lately you had stopped hoping that they would come. You were used to this numb depression. That didn’t mean you enjoyed it.

But you never thought you’d ever be able to get out of it.

You knew the team loved you, you knew you were good at what you did. But even so, every night you somehow found yourself doubting your worth and questioning your abilities. You had been able to hide behind fake smiles for some time, but soon it became easier to hide in your room. No one to hide from, no reason to hide. 

You felt like you were living on borrowed time. You didn’t know when living became a chore and not just...living. Most people will find work boring or basic chores undesirable. But for you the basics of living as a human had become too much for you. Exhausted from the slightest interactions or basic human needs.

Your emotions would slide from one extreme to the other or disappear entirely. Feeling too much or nothing at all. It’s one thing to be trapped in a place physically. It’s another when your body is the cage and somewhere you had lost the key.

Which is why you found yourself out here on the roof. Again. You’d been coming up here  more and more recently, driven to desperation. You never knew if you would ever go through with it. If there would ever be a time you would actually jump, or if every time would be chalked up to getting fresh air. You put a lot of thought into it and this was the best way you could think of to end your pain. Yet even though you wanted to die, you never quite felt like you could ever do it. 

Not necessarily that you wanted to die - more so you just didn’t want to live the life you had been given. It was too painful. And you were tired of fighting for something that had proved to you that it wasn’t going to work out. 

You had people, a family. No matter how much you doubted your worth, you know it would have an impact on them. Tony would overwork himself in the lab. Natasha would shut down emotionally. Steve and Bucky would blame themselves even though it had nothing to do with them. They were the reason you had been able to stay for so long.

But they wouldn’t think that. They would only see that you were gone and blame themselves for not noticing. Even though they had been - checking in on you or having you sit out missions out of worry of the risks you took. They cared about you, and you didn’t want to hurt them.

But lately, the pain of everything building up had begun to outweigh the worry of the impact you would have on them.

It was better this way

They’d be better off

You wouldn’t be in pain anymore.

Just lean forward, close your eyes and -

“Y/n?” you heard a familiar voice behind you.

You let out a small breath before opening your eyes. You knew who it was. Without turning around you replied with a small “Hey Bucky.”

You looked up from the ground, still not looking at him. “Beautiful night isn’t it?”

Bucky started walking towards you nervously. He had noticed how withdrawn you had been but he never imagined….swallowing, he asked “What are you doing out here?”

You merely shrugged, still not meeting his eyes. You still weren’t sure how tonight would end. “Just clearing my head I guess.” you replied with. You spoke as if you were sitting on the kitchen counter with your legs dangling over. As if you weren’t over 1,000 feet above the city streets below.

Swallowing nervously again at seeing your feet dangling over the edge, he cleared his throat. “Can I sit with you?”

You nodded, still unable to look at him as he sat down next to you. You knew the emotion would be overwhelming if you did. He felt his heart rate pick up looking over the edge, knowing that a wrong move from either of you would certainly be lethal. “Do you want to go inside and talk?”

You were silent. 

“Why don’t we move back a little bit, it’s pretty dangerous to be this close to the edge.”

“I know,” you said, finally meeting his eyes. “That’s kind of the point,” you said almost emotionlessly. Bucky looked back at you, eyebrows creased in concern. You held the edge of the roof in your hands tightly, knuckles turning white. You looked back down at the streets below. “You ever think about dying?” you asked suddenly, emotion starting to grow inside you as you felt tears prick your eyes from being so vulnerable. No going back now.

“Y/n, why don’t we go inside, we -”

“I know I wouldn’t want to drown” you looked at him and shook your head. “Slow and painful. Not for me. I’ve thought about pills but it isn’t always effective and I could just end up getting really sick, and depending on the medication it could be painful.” you laughed bitterly as tears filled your eyes, looking back out at the skyline. “Some people think you take meds and fall asleep but it’s not always like that. I know if I died I would want it to be quick. A gunshot, snapping my neck…” you paused for a moment, letting the tears spill over. “...Falling off a building.”.

Bucky could feel his heart pounding in his chest at your words, breaking at how casually you talked about this and how much thought you had given it. “Do you think about it a lot?” he asked, voice wavering from anxiety. 

You swallowed dryly as you felt Bucky’s eyes on you. “A gunshot is the easiest. It’s messy, but it’s certain. But if I did that then one of you would be the first to find me, and no one would ever want to go in the training room again. It’s nearly impossible to snap your own neck. But if I jump…” you tilted your head back and forth a little. “The public finds me first. You wouldn’t be the first to see me.”

You took a deep breath and brought your eyes back to his. “I think about it every goddamn day.”

Bucky took a deep breath. You started to stand up and Bucky did too, nervous at what you were going to do. He reached out his hand to try to grab you but you swatted it away, walking away from the edge slightly and turning your back to him.

“Y/n, talk to me, let me try to help you.” he said. “Please,” he added, desperation threading his voice. 

You turned around, arms crossed. “You can’t help me, no one can help me.” you shook your head. “Every day I wake up and it’s the same shit. It's the same tiring life and routine, over and over. It’s the same feeling 24/7. There’s no escape from it, there’s no break.” you started getting more passionate and put your arms out. “Even if I could get a break I’d come back to the same shit at some point. There’s no escaping my life and my feelings, I can’t turn off my mind.” your voice was rising through tears of frustration. “I don’t want this life anymore, okay? I want to die but I can’t do it. No matter how much I want to, I CAN’T! Where’s my fucking white flag?!” you shook your head again. “When do I get to tap out? I can’t do this anymore!” you shouted. “I’m tired of fighting for a life that I will NEVER have!”

Bucky looked at you sadly, knowing all too well the feeling of craving an escape. He walked closer to you, you trying to walk away. He grabbed your hand and you wrestled out of it. He came closer and grabbed you by your shoulders more firmly trying to bring you into a hug. “Get the fuck off.” you said, trying to get away, punching his chest. It didn’t affect him, and he just kept trying to hold you still despite your wrestling figure. Eventually your anger melted into agony, as you let out sobs against his chest, giving into the embrace.

“Please, just let me die…”

“It’s not your time yet,” he whispered.

You began crying harder and he held you protectively, whispering “I got you. It’s okay.”

He kept repeating that and hushing you, keeping his arms tightly around you, supporting you. “I don’t want to do this anymore…” you sobbed into his chest. 

“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. He cradled your head against his chest. “I know.”

After standing there for a few more moments, he said “Let’s get you inside. It's going to be okay.”

And with that, he moved to pick you up, doing so with ease. You hid your face against his chest, trying to contain your cries. You were embarrassed to be so emotional. Luckily for you, your room was close to the elevator and seeing as it was early morning now, no one was roaming the halls. 

He brought you into your room and sat down on the bed, still holding you in his lap. You were still crying, both from the situation and out of shame for being so vulnerable. He still held you tightly, whispering comforting words to you and breathing steadily. Eventually you were able to find your own rhythm, still crying softly. It wasn’t until now that you realized how badly you were shaking. 

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky began to speak. “I just want you to listen, okay?” when you nodded he continued. “I know that you might not believe me but I felt the same way once. Remembering everything I did as the Winter Soldier and the nightmares, they just...wouldn’t stop. Remembering was the worst part. Knowing what I did, even if I didn’t have control, made day and night hell. I couldn’t make it stop.” Your eyes filled with tears, knowing how much he blamed himself. 

“I couldn’t control the memories and the nightmares. I couldn’t avoid my metal arm. It was a constant reminder of everything they made me do. And I didn’t want to feel the guilt that I did. But death wasn’t the answer.” he guided your face to look at his. “Death is never the answer. The memories stay, but the guilt fades.”

 “You are such a good person.” when you scoffed he added “I know these feelings and thoughts tell you you’re not but you are. I know it may seem like it will never end, but it can get easier. You don’t have to be okay, you don’t have to be strong for us. But taking away your chance at every future good experience by permanently preventing the bad ones isn’t worth it.”

Your eyes filled with fresh tears. “Sometimes it feels like it’s all about pros and cons. Like no good experience could outweigh the pain of all of this.” you let the tears fall and shook your head. “Life isn’t supposed to hurt.”

He hugged you tightly. “No one asks for pain, no one asks for this. It’s not your fault that you feel this way and it’s okay. But it can get better, I promise.”

You cried into his chest. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“There’s no right thing to do. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here for you, and I know the whole team would be too if you needed them to be. You’re not weak, you’re not stupid. You’re going to get through this, because you are strong.”

“I just…” you started, shaking your head a little. “This was never supposed to happen. I don’t know why I can’t control it anymore. It’s been bad for a while but I was always able to function and push down this type of thing. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where I went wrong.”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You can’t control it. These things happen, there doesn’t always have to be a reason. Emotions are what they are and our own minds can be our worst enemy. We know the best way to hurt ourselves, we know what our weaknesses are. Sometimes our minds take advantage of that.”

You moved to look at him. “How did you make it stop? You said it got easier, how did you do it? How do you turn it off?”

“It’s not quite that simple. I know deep down that I wasn’t in control. It was what HYDRA had created that killed those people, not the human I was before. And I tried to remind myself that I still had the person I was before HYDRA in me, somewhere. And slowly I tried to find who I used to be to help create who I could be. I don’t know if that makes sense -”

“It does,” you said as you leaned into his chest again. you squeezed your eyes shut. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. I’m always here to help you okay?” you nodded. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep, and we can talk in the morning, okay?” you nodded again, and Bucky gave you another hug before standing up. You lied down, you being too tired to care about changing out of your day clothes. They were comfortable enough. 

Bucky, not wanting to leave you alone, went to go sit in a chair. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries. Before he could sit down though, you sat up and turned to him. 

“Can you lay with me please?” Bucky nodded. “Yeah, of course.” He took off his shoes and climbed into the other side of the bed, giving you some space. You moved to be flush against his chest, his heartbeat soothing to you. “Thank you,” you said softly

“No need to thank me.” He said softly, wrapping his arms around you, making you feel protected. “I should be thanking you.” He added

“For what?” You asked, confused.

“For not giving up.”

[vbpotter]

Malfoy (James Potter x reader)

Warnings: Angst 

A/n : I take requests <3

We all love someone . They say, that loving someone is the best feeling. They say that loving someone feels like you are floating in the air, their thoughts clouding your mind. They say that loving someone is peaceful, because you have finally found your home. They say that Loving someone is like having something to heal you, to carry you, to encourage you. They say that loving someone is worth living for. 

But, only a few people know what it is like to not be loved. Only some people know what it feels like. Only some people know how much it hurts. Only some people know how it feels to be ignored, to be the second choice, to not be loved by your family, to not be loved by the person you have handed your heart to. Only some people know how much it hurts to be not loved , to always be the second choice, to always be the least preferred one, to always be not enough, to always be a disappointment, to live with no love. 

Someone who knew exactly how it felt like was Y/n Malfoy. 

Yes..... Y/n Malfoy. 

The Youngest Malfoy of the family. 

Now..... Growing up as the only daughter of the family, and not to mention the youngest child would have been easy, right?  especially if you are from a rich family who has high standards and is very respectable, having elves to do your work left and right, to be raised like a princess?  

Yes.... She was raised like a princess..... But not a normal princess..... She was raised as Rapunzel. 

Trapped in a tower,  hidden from the outside world , learning everything that the people of the tower taught her, believing that what the people of the tower said was always true ..... Until one day, she decided to know what the outside world was. 

So she ran, escaped from under dozens of gazes, unseen. And..... For the first time in her life, she saw something worth looking at. 

She happily skipped around, looking at the trees filled with flowers, that were so different from the dark trees surrounding her Manor. She saw beautiful birds chirping , multi coloured birds that were so different than the white peacocks that she usually saw at Malfoy Manor. She saw the sky, light blue with different shapes of clouds floating in it,  it was so different than the dark ceiling of the Malfoy Manor. 

She smiled and ran,  admiring the scenery around her. That is when she reached an open area, that she guessed was a playground. She saw a couple with a young boy. That was the time five year old Y/n Malfoy met James Potter for the first time. 

Since that day, Y/n would sneak out from Malfoy Manor every evening for an hour, during the time when her mum was at her daily Tea Party with her friends, her father in his library and her brother playing the piano. 

She and James would play on the swings and chat happily. She even got to know his parents, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter,  who were very happy that James had someone to play with ,since they lived in a large Manor at the edge of a small forest .

Everything went smoothly, until one day, her brother caught her sneaking out. That was probably the worst day of Y/n's life .She still vividly remembered her brother's harsh glare, her parents' disappointed looks and the punishment she received afterwards. That was the first time Y/n had been tortured with the Cruciatus Curse, not knowing that she would be receiving more of it in the future. 

The Malfoys were forced to move away , since - the Dark Lord ordered them to .

Malfoy Manor was then established at an even worse place, in the Middle of a Dark Forest , its location unknown to everyone. Even Y/n didn't know in which part of the world they were living in , but, the life of the six year old Y/n was already ruined. 

The next five years of her life were the worse. She felt as if she was trapped even more tightly in the tower, like Rapunzel. 

There were house elves around her room every hour of the day. She was forced to wear long and puffy dresses , which she hated . She was forced to go to fancy Balls and meet new people, mainly boys her age. She hated it, her parents were determined to get her married at a young age to a respectable boy form a  pure blood family, so that they didn't have to deal with her anymore. It was disgusting. They were trying to arrange or even engage a six year old with a boy her age, or even quite older than her. 

She hated their ideas. She would wince, whenever someone talked about Muggles and Muggleborns.....in such a way t-that even the worst person in the world didn't deserve to be t-talked to or about. She had snapped at such people many times, and she had been punished...... The same number of many times. So much, that the cruciatus curse didn't hurt her anymore. 

Her parents couldn't kill her, nor disown her. Because , the dark lord said that young children were valuable and that they would be useful for his army in the future .

Y/n still remembered ,the day when she was united with James Potter. She was on the Hogwarts Express , going to Hogwarts for the first time. Her parents had just lectured her about not to talk to 'filthy people ' and her brother had left her with a harsh glare , running towards the prefects compartment where he was to be sitting. 

Y/n sighed after her brother left her with another of his classic Malfoy glares. She looked around and headed forward, searching for a compartment with the least people or no people at all. She finally found one, only one person was sitting in there. 

" Hey! Can I sit here? " Y/n asked. The person who was staring out of the window looked at her, and Y/n felt her throat dry down when she was met by a familiar pair of Hazel eyes, only this time - they were covered by thick round glasses. 

"J-James ?" Y/n muttered, her voice shaking. 

" Y-Y/n?" The boy asked and Y/n felt a wave of Happiness overcome her. 

And then after years, the two long separated friends embraced each other in a warm hug. But, James didn't know that Y/n was ten times more happier to see him than he was to see her. 

As Y/n, now in her 7th year,  sat in the couch of Gryffindor common room, she felt herself smile as she was reminded of the memory. 

Y/n was sorted into Gryffindor, giving her parents and brother another reason to hate her. 

She and James were quick to become close friends again , and soon, they were joined by Sirius, Remus and Peter - the 5 of them, together being the Marauders. 

Since First year, James was obsessed over Lily , Y/n's fellow roommate. She and Lily weren't friends, per say, but - they didn't hate each other either. The two would always have small conversations and would often discuss their homework notes together. 

Y/n never opposed to the idea of her best friends chasing after Lily . She always encouraged him to go forward , she always encouraged him that he could do it . But , It was in her fourth year did she realize that what she felt towards James wasn't just friendship . She realized that the little weigh she felt on her shoulders after hearing him ramble about Lily  was not tiredness , she realized that the little churning of her stomach around him , the blush she got when he flirted with her without even realizing it .......all of it , was not just platonic ........at least not for her . 

But, she didn't act Bitchy like others would have in this situation. She didn't get angry when James ditched her loads of times just to try to spend time with the red Head. She didn't get annoyed when he treated her like one of the boys.

All she did was smile. She plastered a fake smile on her face and encouraged him to keep going, to try and get the Red Head. 

But, even though she felt the weight of the whole world on her shoulders, even though she felt her heart sink down day by day - she was happy. She was Happy for her best friend.She was happy when she saw him progress on the Red Head he had been chasing after, She felt happy when he was happy. And..... She knew that she shouldn't be Selfish. She had accepted her fate long ago, she had accepted that she and James weren't meant to be together. She had accepted that she had to stay with this weight her entire life. But a little part of her ...........It told her that she could at least hope  ...................But then , another part of her told her that she was useless and worthless, nothing but a waste of space . And Oh-How it crumbled her .

Despite it all, Y/n always stood by him. She stood by him when he cried , she stood by him when he felt like he was not good enough , she stood by him when he needed to hold someone ..........he held onto her and she never complained . 

James didn't know, but, he had landed all the weight of his life and feelings on the girl, and it broke her. But she still stood by him, every time, as a friend,  never asking for anything, never asking for more, never caring about herself, never wanting anything other than helping him,  even though her whole existence was the thing she needed help with.

She didn't only stand up alongside James. She stood up for Peter when he was bullied and body shamed for being fat. She comforted him when he cried. 

She stood by Remus when he felt like he was a monster. She was the one to help him along with the other Marauders during the full moons .She was the one who would heal Remus's wounds in the middle of the night, in the early morning, or whenever Remus felt like he wanted someone to heal is wounds and whisper soothing words in his ear. She was the one who taught Remus that you always have something worth living for, even though she herself didn't know why she was living. 

She stood with Sirius when he was disowned, when His Brother hated him, when Sirius felt like he was a mistake, a disappointment.

Despite, she never had anyone to hold onto . Her parents and brother , who were supposed to be her family, treated her like a piece of trash . She was alone , but she never showed it . Just because she didn't want to be a burden , just because she didn't want to be Selfish .

Sirius and Remus knew about her feelings for James,  the two could look through her smile completely. Peter was an oblivious person and he never knew what was going on, but still, the three of them always were there to cheer her up , but - none of them saw the completely broken her. 

Y/n looked around the Gryffindor common room she was currently sat in. She looked at the time and realized that the boys should have been back from their daily "boys time" by now.

Just as the thought crossed her mind,  The portrait hole of the Common room opened and in came Remus , Sirius and Peter,  laughing loudly. 

" Good evening, gentleman. You are 5 minutes late " Y/n said,  folding her hands over her chest and showing the three her watch. The three gave her guilty smiles and settled themselves on the couches around her . 

" Guys.... Where is James? " Y/n asked looking around. Sirius and Remus exchanged a look and avoided looking at her . Peter was sitting as if he didn't know what was going on , like always.

The next second The Portrait Hole opened and In walked James and Lily, their arms wrapped around each other and their clothes and hair looking disheveled and.... Both of them had the biggest smile on their faces. 

Y/n saw , as James led Lily towards the girls' dorm staircase . Lily whispered something in his year and the both of them giggled . Lily plated a kiss on his cheek , and then giving him a wink-she left , leaving James behind - Who's face was as red as Lily's hair.

He stared at her all the way until she disappeared . Then , he turned around swiftly - Smiling so widely that it looked as if his cheeks would split in half .

"SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES , GUYS!!!!!" James Shouted , his voice shaking a bit due to happiness .

In a second , Remus and Sirius's heads snapped towards Y/n - giving her sad looks . But , the reaction from her was not what they expected .

She smiled. And it wasn't a fake one - it was a genuine one . 

Y/n felt her heart clench at James's words . But , she noticed how happy he was , she noticed how happy she made him . And in that moment, she completely accepted the fact that he loved Lily , and that the two belonged together . She accepted that Lily made him happy . She was happy that her friend finally found someone he deserved , finally found someone worthy of Him . Y/n always knew that she didn't deserve him , she didn't deserve to have him in her broken life . Even though she was distraught , her best friend's happiness was all she needed . And she smiled. She smiled because he was happy , she smiled because she finally figured it out , she smiled because she knew that he would be happy . And Y/n would do anything , anything to bring her friends happiness , even if it meant giving up her own . 

" Ooohhh ..............Congrats , Romeo " Y/n said enthusiastically , smiling up at her best friend .

Part 2 coming up..........

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

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Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

[aureutr]

do you have any hcs about how din will act when luke gets pregnant in either BT or just circumstances similar to BT? im obsessed with the idea of kept luke and doting din but luke is still trying to escape and yet has to reckon with getting rounder and being pregnant and constantly wanting his alpha around

I'm not going to spoil anything about BT but let's sweep aside all my future notes, outlines, and half-written bits and play in the space on its own. We can say everything up through Chapter 8 happened as-is.

tw somewhat dark content, mpreg, maybe some Stockholm Syndrome

At first Din is worried. Even once he starts making up real food, Luke can't seem to keep it down. Boba's convinced that he's faking to trick them into taking him to a medcenter, but that doesn't make sense. He's wanted by the Empire, it would be a stupid escape plan. Han has an idea of what could be wrong but keeps it to himself, afraid that if he speaks it out loud it will be true.

Thankfully, that passes quickly.

Because heats in this AU are 3-4 per year, waiting til one is skipped isn't a good indicator of pregnancy. What tips it over is one night Din takes the Force restraint collar off, just for a little bit. Luke treasures these moments, a few minutes where everything feels the way it should. He stretches his senses out, feeling the pulse of life on the moon around them.

Or rather, that's what he normally does. This time as soon as he can reach out he feels something new, something much closer than he expected. There's no mind, it's not a person yet, but it's grown enough that it's more than just a tiny thrum of possibility.

And because their mating bond lets Din feel everything Luke feels, they find out at precisely the same time.

Luke would be scared, but Din's excitement and joy is so loud in their bond and in the Force that it completely overwhelms him. It's not for a few days after that he has a clear enough head to think things through.

He once told Leia he wouldn't mind a family, maybe even wanted one. But he didn't think it would happen like this. Still...he can't be as horrified as he thinks he should be. He feels guilty about that, too.

Han's reaction is to throw out his "wait and see until Boba follows through on his debt promise" plan. There's now a time limit on getting Luke out, consequences for himself be damned. It doesn't go well, is all we'll say there.

If Din was overbearing before, now he's absolutely insufferable. Before they knew, Luke thought he was making some progress on getting his alpha to treat him more like a person. Maybe they could even salvage something out of this mess of a relationship (if it could be called one). Now it's the softest clothes, the most carefully-selected food, and Luke is almost completely forbidden from walking anywhere.

He has little victories. He convinces Din that being trapped inside all of the time is bad for the baby. He still can't get out at night, Boba and Din know their mates aren't stupid, they could figure out roughly where in the galaxy they are if they can see the stars. But there's a small lake near the house, and he gets to spend a lot of time on the shore there.

Since there are no other sentients on the moon, there are no other ships. Luke's escape plans stat and end with getting onto Slave I by himself (or, preferably with Han, but after Han refused him once he's not going to wait -- they'll come back for him). He tries to talk to Leia in the windows he has without the collar on, but he can never seem to reach her. He can feel her, she's not dead, but she has her shields drawn down tight as if hiding from something. Or someone. It keeps them from being able to speak in the Force.

Periods without the collar do get longer as Luke gets larger. Din is worried that their child, who is probably Force sensitive, will have their development stunted. Boba thinks it's not worth the risk, but after Din extracts promise after promise of good behavior from Luke until both alphas are relatively convinced. It comes off and it stays off.

Luke is so grateful that he knows that he's going to keep those promises. The part of him that yells about getting away gets smaller as he gets rounder, and can feel their child more and more clearly. He tells himself the urge to keep Din close is hormonal, instinctive. He knows he's lying.

For the entire pregnancy Din can't keep his hands off of Luke, especially not his belly. Once movement starts he's even worse. Boba snaps at him to stop trying to get him to feel every kick or turn, but never once does he refuse to actually do so.

Din spends a lot of time and credits fleshing the house out. This was always his plan, but now he needs to hurry up. It's a modular, prefabricated thing, so adding an additional room for a nursery is trivially easy. Luke, at least, gets to make some choices there. They go with a soft green, a color all from Tatooine adore.

It's one night, laying in a pile of warm bodies with so many sets of hands pressed up against him that a dam breaks and Luke starts crying. The tears perhaps should have been made of desperation, but they are happy, happy tears.

[cuttoothed]

For day 1 of @aspecarchivesweek for the prompt “wish”. Someday I will write something that isn’t jmart, but that day is not today.

Ace Martin character exploration; Jon/Martin; some Martin/OMC

Warnings: internalized homophobia (brief); internalized aphobia (ongoing); reference to having sex while intoxicated; reference to having sex reluctantly (though not coerced); outing of ace character in their absence

*

Martin spends a long time wishing he was normal.

It starts when he’s fourteen. Well, no, it starts much earlier than that, but it’s when he’s fourteen that the nebulous muddle of feelings coalesces into something impossible to ignore. That’s when all the boys and girls in his class start making eyes at each other while pretending they aren’t; start talking about who they’d like to snog behind the bushes at the bottom of the sports field, and Martin feels something twist in his stomach when he realizes that the person he’d like to be behind the bushes with is Stephen Dowling, who has dark hair and blue eyes and snaps gum between his teeth all day long.

Martin never says anything about it, of course, tries not to even think about it, but he knows it’s not normal. As if he needed one more weird thing about him along with all his sick mum and his jacket that pulls tight across his shoulders, the seams fraying because he needs to get another year out of it before they spend money on a replacement. He keeps his head down and secretly believes that this part of his life will never be over.

*

Eventually, this part of his life is over.

He is nineteen and living in London in a cheap flatshare with three other people, he has a job at a real academic institution, and he has a boyfriend.

Ramesh is sweet and funny and has soft brown eyes with the longest eyelashes Martin’s ever seen. His heart flutters in his chest every time they’re together, his breath catching in his throat and spilling out as laughter. Martin feels normal, because this is London and nobody cares if he walks down the street with Ramesh’s hand in his, if he kisses his boyfriend in the queue for the chippie. It’s like a weight Martin never knew was there lifted off his chest and he can breathe properly for the first time in his life.

He and Ramesh go out for almost a month before they’re in Martin’s flat alone one night, all the others gone out, and Ramesh presses him down on the sofa and kisses him and crawls a hand inside Martin’s jeans. Martin feels hot and cold all at once, his stomach coiling sick and every muscle in his body tensing up for fight or flight. He pushes Ramesh away—too hard, too clumsy—and guilt courses through him at the hurt look in Ramesh’s soft eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Ramesh asks, and Martin can’t say, his heart pounding and his hand clenched painfully tight against the arm of the sofa.

“Sorry,” he’s able to say eventually. “I just, umm…”

“It’s all right,” says Ramesh, though he still looks hurt and confused and Martin has the feeling it’s not actually all right. “I probably surprised you. We can wait for next time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” says Martin, grateful at the reprieve. They sit on the sofa and watch a film instead, and Martin scarcely follows the plot as he tries to calm the adrenaline rushing through his veins, making him want to flinch every time Ramesh’s shoulder touches his.

Next time is the same. Martin apologizes again, and Ramesh says it’s all right again and then two days later breaks up with him.

“I just don’t think it’s working out,” he says, and Martin knows it really wasn’t all right after all.

*

Martin’s sick of wishing he was normal, and what is it they say: fake it ‘til you make it?

He gets drunk and takes home a man he doesn’t know and has sex. He scarcely remembers it the next day and he’s too hungover and miserable to try, but he’s proven to himself that he can have sex and that’s the important thing.

Having sex is normal. It’s what people in relationships do. Martin doesn’t know why he has the hang-ups he does, but he just needs to get over them and learn to relax a bit. Having a couple of drinks helps, he finds.

He has a few boyfriends here and there, and having sex really isn’t a problem. There are better things he could think of doing with his time, but it’s fine. There are even some nice things about it, like feeling close to someone. Intimate.

Eventually, he thinks, maybe he’ll stop feeling like he’s faking it.

*

It isn’t that he gives up on relationships. It’s just that there are so many expectations that Martin feels he always fails to live up to, so many rules that it seems like everyone but him instinctively knows. Trying feels like more hassle than it’s worth.

And then he gets transferred to the Archives and there is Jonathan Sims with his imperious glare and devastating voice and Martin is fourteen all over again watching Stephen Dowling snap his gum in Geography class.

“You really need to stop mooning,” Tim tells him. They’re at the Institute holiday party and they’re all a bit sloshed, and Martin can admit to himself that yes all right he was mooning a bit over Jon, who’s stood at the bar with his back to them, talking animatedly with Elias.

“I am not mooning,” he says, because there’s no reason he has to admit it to Tim as well. “I was just...contemplating.”

“Contemplating Jon’s arse,” Tim snorts, and then Sasha plonks down three shot glasses on the table in front of them and sits down in a rush.

“Who’s contemplating Jon’s arse?”

“Martin, of course.”

“I am not—” Martin begins to protest, but Sasha shushes him, pushing a shot into his hand. It smells of cinnamon and the liquid inside is bright red.

“Hopeless case,” sighs Tim, and drinks his shot. Sasha does the same and then gives Martin a sympathetic smile, her eyes a little bit unfocused.

“If it’s any consolation, Jon doesn’t shag anyone.”

“Sasha!” Tim scolds, and she suddenly seems to realize what she’s said, her eyes going wide.

“Shit,” she says. “Sorry, god, I shouldn’t have said anything. Martin, please pretend you never heard me say that.”

“Okay,” Martin promises but his brain is snagged on ‘Jon doesn’t shag anyone’, how she said it so easily, matter of fact, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. He looks up at the bar where Jon is still standing with Elias, his slim hands gesturing as he talks.

“Drink your shot,” Tim tells him. “It’ll help you forget about Sasha’s big mouth.”

Martin drinks his shot, which is absolutely sickening, but he doesn’t forget.

*

There is one bed in Daisy’s safe house.

It’s evening when they arrive and Martin is exhausted, a bone deep weariness that might be from the travel or the fear or the fog that’s seeped under his skin. Jon looks tired too, dark circles under his eyes and now that Martin’s really looking at him for the first time in months, he’s amazed Jon hasn’t just shivered apart at the seams by now. He is filled with the desire to take Jon in his arms, as if he might hold the fragile pieces of him together, and he thinks that he could.

He saw Jon, in the Lonely, even if they haven’t talked about it since. Saw how Jon felt about him, so yes, Martin thinks he could put his arms around Jon and it would be welcome. He isn’t sure why he doesn’t, except that there’s a part of him that still feels like it’s trapped behind glass, abstracted and numb, and it keeps his arms by his sides while his heart yearns against his rib cage.

In the meantime, there is only one bed, and they both stand looking at it for a few moments, considering the implications and the fact that they have only just found each other again after months of absence.

“There’s enough room,” Jon says eventually, his voice soft and tired. Martin nods; there is enough room.

It’s cold, and they both climb under the covers in socks and tracksuit bottoms and long sleeved t-shirts, pile the thick feather duvet and two blankets over them. It feels like being cocooned, their combined body heat gradually warming the mattress, the slow even sound of Jon’s breathing warming something in Martin’s chest.

He’s here, he’s here with you. You’re here with him.

In the gentle dark they gravitate together, drawn close by the longing that’s suffused all their months apart. When Jon’s lips press gently against his, Martin thinks his heart might burst. He kisses back, and at last that trapped part of him breaks free and he lifts his arms to wrap around Jon, pulls him against his chest. Jon makes a soft, surprised sound and he breaks the kiss.

“Martin,” he says, careful the way he has been since he brought Martin back, as if a wrong word might shatter him. “I need to tell you, before this goes any further—”

“It’s okay,” Martin tells him. “I don’t want to have sex with you either.” It feels so good to be able to say it that Martin could cry or laugh or both.

“Oh,” says Jon, and then huffs a soft laugh. “Well that’s—that’s good, then.”

He kisses Martin again, and leans in against him, close and warm and filling every part of Martin’s awareness. Martin knows he left all hope of normal behind years ago, before worms and fog and evil circuses. But the fact that he gets to have this—just this, with the man he loves; no expectations and nothing to fake; and for the moment at least, no fear. This is far, far better than normal.

And Martin couldn’t wish for anything else.

[herherteartear]

bonus | five and a half

a/n— a lil more context to yesterday's chapter, pls lmk ur thoughts!! <3 and yes this is very latee😭 pls ignore any mistakes, just wanted to post this asap lmaoo enojyy🤍!!!

word count— i don't mf know

they were really nice. like, oddly nice? you knew Nari told the Bangtan boys to be on their best behavior but that’s exactly what they were doing. you almost began to feel bad for coming into the night thinking the worst of them. well, almost.

they held out for a total of 17 minutes before Namjoon decided to shoot his shot. he stalked up to you, striking up a conversation where he pulled out his best compliments and light hearted jokes. while everyone else watched Namjoon make a fool of himself, Jungkook observed your reactions. you scowled at one particular compliment Namjoon spouted that would usually seal the deal.

Jin let out a belly laugh once Namjoon sulked away from you. Jimin held back his own laugh as he wrapped his arm over Namjoon's shoulders.

"hey, it's okay, Joon. think about all the other girls you could have. one loss is nothing!" you rolled your eyes at Jimin's attempt to console his friend. Namjoon instantly perked up. his mind reeling with which girl he could hit up with a text to end his night happily. classic fuckboys, you thought sourly.

the rest of the boys took to treating you like they treated Nari. which made your night a lot more enjoyable. they were decent people when they weren't thinking of who to fuck next, but you kept repeating your promise to Nari in your head to remind yourself to play nice. the boys kept you occupied with their incessant rambling of their crazy antics.

"it's bullshit! we stapled our logo to my bare ass and where's the footage?" Taehyung raged. he paused for dramatic effect before throwing his hands in the air. "uh, not in the movie, if that's what you were wondering!" he huffed. you laughed along with everyone else. the feeling of being watched came back, as it had been lingering on you the whole night; you turned your head to meet eyes with the pink haired boy. Jungkook took this opportunity to walk towards you.

the whole night, you made it a point to avoid Jungkook in particular. why? well, he was everything you liked in a guy, from the bright, tussled hair to his wide, starry eyes. and that scared you shitless. you gathered your courage as he approached you.

"if Tae gets anymore angry, Yoongi's going to start threatening him with firing him. you wanna dip before that happens?" Jungkook lowered his head to speak into your ear. his hand naturally found it's home on your hip. you inhaled a deep breath as chills ran through your body.

"no, i'm good. Nari's been wanting to tell me something so i should probably go to her." you lied. you felt his snort of laughter on your neck right as Jungkook pulled away. he turned to look at Nari and Hoseok lost in each other's mouths against a wall that they thought was hidden.

"looks like she's a little busy. c'mon, we can be busy too." Jungkook slipped his hand into yours and tugged you towards the backyard. you continued your chant in your head, only this one wasn't your promise to Nari. no, this one was your promise to yourself. all fuckboy's are the same.

Jungkook was used to things like this. he was used to picking a girl that caught his attention and sticking with her until he got what he wanted. he knew what to say and what to do in order to get a girl on her knees for him. he knew how to play the game. his playing field switched up after he witnessed the way you detested Namjoon's flirting. Jungkook realize his normal game plan wouldn't work on you. and he found himself fascinated by that.

yet, with that in mind, Jungkook didn't want to charm you into sleeping with him. no, he wanted to see your pretty, glossy smile grace your face as you talked to him about whatever the fuck you were thinking; he wanted to show off for you; and yes, he did want to see you in a much more dirty setting. but that wasn't at the top of his list, surprisingly. and that's how he found himself sitting on the grass, both of your hands still clasped together.

"you don't talk much." Jungkook noted. you wanted to laugh because you knew that was far from who you were. but you were deep in thought about why his hands were so soft? what lotion did he use to keep them that way? and why is he playing with your fingers? did he not know your heart was racing and you wanted to vomit?

"i do.. when i want to." you replied after what felt like lightyears. you took a beat. "when i'm with people i like." you teased, although you hoped he would take it as more of a warning. Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head cutely.

"that— that can't be right." he faked being in deep thought.

"why not?" you fired back. mindlessly, your fingers began to trace the tattoo's on his knuckles.

"because i'm perfect? i'm funny, i'm handsome, i've got tattoos? i've got it all." Jungkook puffed out his chest proudly. you scoffed and threw his hand off of your lap.

"oh, please." he laughed at your repulse. he grabbed your hand once more, but this time to pull you onto his lap. "what are you doing?" you tried to get off, but he trapped you with his arms and he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"i like coming out here at night. the stars look pretty." he completely ignored your question. god, this boy was something else. he had no regard for what his actions did to you. you huffed out a sigh. right as you opened your mouth to question him again, Jungkook said, "just, look up.. for a little." he nudged your chin upwards with his fingers.

they were really pretty. the backyard of the Bangtan boy's house had a perfect view of the stars, the landscape of Seoul. a small smile formed on your face. the stars looked awfully similar to Jungkook's eyes.

"do you come out here often?" you wondered out loud. ew, what the fuck? you sound interested in him. you brought your lip in-between your teeth to prevent you from slipping up again.

"only when i want to think." Jungkook admitted. he blushed, knowing not many people knew that about him. he lowered his vision to see what your face looked like under the moon's light. "i didn't think it was possible you could look any prettier." he mumbled. your heart jumped to your throat. stop. he probably says that to every girl he tries to use. all fuckboy's are the same.

"yeah, okay. how many girls has that worked on?" you laughed dryly. before Jungkook could reply, you were lifting yourself off of his lap. "i'm going back inside." you stated. you needed to get away from him. you should have avoided him better. now your poor heart was gaining delusional feelings for a certain pink haired boy. but never would you admit that to anyone. never ever.

Jungkook's arms felt a lot colder without you in them. he jumped to his feet and pulled you close to him by your hips. you squeaked out a noise of surprise as you found yourself so close to him so suddenly. your noses brushed against each other and you stared at each other. you dared to glance down at his shining lips.

"haven't used it on any other girl. no one's as pretty as you." Jungkook answered. he jutted his chin forward slightly, hoping to catch you in a quick kiss. but no. you weren't giving in that easily. you pulled away from him.

"hm. good luck with those lines, Kookie. maybe one day they'll work." you teased him with a smirk. Jungkook watched as you walked back into the house. he laughed out loud. no girl had ever made him feel as sexually frustrated as he was endeared.

that night you kept your promise to Nari very nicely. and it was all because Jungkook forced a moment of weakness out of you. you let your guard down for him. and maybe you let it down too much. because you left that night wishing your promise to yourself would somehow break itself. all fuckboy's are the same.. but maybe Jungkook was different. were you ready for that?

masterlist

taglist— @unadulteratedlyunique @preciouschimine @cholychi @letmebreathepls @juju-227592 @whitepinkish @kirbykook @yoongiofmine @janedukiesworld @ladyartemesia @secretlycrazyhummingbird @joonswhore @miriamxsworld @hjinnie @ggukkieland

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 2

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: ~2900

Warnings: Elevators, Angst

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Steve POV

“The 911 operator I was talking to had this great idea to use the hose to pull the little girl across the water to get her out of the pool,” Steve reminisced, sitting at the big island in the kitchen watching Sam cook.

“Dude, I was there, remember,” Sam replied.  “And hasn’t it been like a week since that happened?”

“Yeah, but it was such a clever idea. I didn’t even know they could see the whole house on their monitors.”

“Who cares! It’s probably some fancy technology not available on the market yet, but if I'm hearing this correctly, it sounds like she popped Stevie’s dispatcher cherry,” Bucky joked behind him.

Steve peeked over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at Bucky. “My what cherry?”

“You know when you talk to a dispatcher on the phone while on scene. Danvers takes those calls most of the time, but every once in a blue moon, one of us takes it.” Bucky wiggled his eyebrows. “Who was the operator?”

“Um...YN.”

“Oh, my sister,” Thor announced in a deep voice, patting him on the shoulder and taking the stool next to him. “She is very intelligent.”

“Wait, you have a sister?” Steve asked, widening his eyes at him.

“I have two sisters, while one half-sister, but we don’t talk about her because she’s the worst,” Thor answered with pursed lips. “YN is the best though, I like to think she got the brains, I got the brawn, and well, I guess, that makes Loki the beaut of the family.” He nodded with a half shrug. 

“Are we still talking about how Rogers popped his dispatcher cherry,” Carol smirked, walking into the kitchen with Valkyrie. Steve felt his face heat up as he tried to say something, but she held her hand up. “It’s okay! Everyone remembers their first time,” She winked, forcing him to shake his head.

“Okay, okay. I get it.” Steve held up his hands in surrender, trying to hide the blush on his face.

_____________

You swiveled back and forth in your chair, waiting for the next call to come in. You had a half-hour left of your twelve-hour shift, and you needed a girls' night out. Living with your brother and Darryl was both a blessing and a curse. They offered you a place to stay, rent-free when you first moved here, but the amount of testosterone in that house was sometimes too much for you to handle. You tapped your fingers on your desk when your line started ringing. You sat up, letting out a deep breath, and pressed the spacebar.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hello,” a male voice replied.

“How can I help you?”

“I’m making a turkey and was wondering what the internal temperature has to be?”

“You do know it’s against the law to call with a fake emergency, right?”

“Yes, but this is an emergency.”

“No, it’s not, so get off my line.” You hung up the line, shaking your head. Right away, another call came through, and you answered it. 

“911, what’s your emergency?” 

“Hi, hello. My friends are trapped in the elevator. The elevator must have snapped or something because there was this loud bang.”

“Where are you calling from?”

“The Natural History Museum. Please hurry!”

____________

Steve sat in his unassigned assigned spot at the dining table, eating a late lunch with the team. It was the cardinal rule at Station 107: Work as a team and eat as a family. Steve never thought he'd be able to find another firehouse he enjoyed working at, considering his previous teammates and friends at his old one. He hated leaving them behind, but he needed a fresh start, and so far, Station 107 was the best second home he could ask for. 

Everyone brought something to the team as every firehouse did.  Captain Danvers, or Ace as she preferred to be called in the field, brought her confidence and experience, which made for a great leader they could trust and rely on. Thor had his strength and his bravery, but he did have an ego. Sam was a great motivator and could keep everyone on task while still cracking jokes. It was no wonder Sam was the head EMT at this firehouse. Valkyrie was a badass and wasn’t afraid to put people in their place. As for Bucky, Steve knew he would always be there for him till the end of the line. 

The loud alarm blaring throughout the firehouse pulled Steve out of his stupor. Everyone knew what that sound meant, and they were ready to tackle whatever it might be. One after another, they slid down the firepole, pulled on their gear, and hopped in the truck, heading towards the scene. It wasn’t unusual to take calls that didn’t involve fire because whoever could get there the fastest was better than no one showing up at all. 

Thor hopped behind the driver's seat of the fire engine, pulling out of the garage. Carol sat beside him, giving him directions while speaking with the dispatcher through her headset. The sirens were wailing with Val and Sam behind them in the ambulance. 

“Alright, boys. We got an elevator crash at the Natural History Museum,” Carol said into her helmet mic after speaking with dispatch. “Dispatch says three students and their pregnant teacher are inside.”

“What’s the plan, Ace?” Steve asked into his helmet mic, concealing the siren blaring in the background. 

“I have contacted the museum's elevator technician, and he has already locked and tagged the power on the cars. The car sits near the basement level, so we will approach from the top in the lobby. I want Thor on the winch…”

“Ahh---what,” Thor interrupted her.

“Calm down, big guy, you can have the next one.” She gave him the side-eye, making the rest of the crew chuckle. “Steve and Bucky are going to do an immediate retrieval and approach from the top. Sam and Val will set a perimeter and then treat those who come up. Then, I will help with the retrieval, and Thor with the winch,” she stated with the last part dripping in sarcasm.

“It still hurts,” Thor added, taking a right at the intersection.

Once on-site, everyone grabbed their gear and took their positions.  Steve and Bucky strapped on their harnesses and helmets, switching on the flashlight. They started scaling down the elevator shaft from the lobby as Thor lowered them on the winch with the retrieving rope.

“How we looking, Steve?”

“Sexy, but not like we are trying too hard, but it’s more kind of effortless.” 

“Yeah, I mean, have you seen Steve’s ass in that harness. It could be American’s Ass or more like LA’s Finest Ass,” Sam commented with a whistle, echoing in the shaft. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Steve landed on the top of the elevator, unhooking himself while Bucky did the same.  “I’m down and unattached.”

“That’s what she said,” Carol responded with her head appearing in the shaft.

Thor chuckled, shaking his head. “Classic.”

Steve rolled his eyes and used his other flashlight to find the hatch on top of the elevator. He unclipped the lock, opening the hatch door, seeing the top of the lights. “I’m Fireman Rogers, please move towards the buttons. I’m going to kick the light out, so we can get you out of there.” It took a few kicks, but once it fell through, a few faces peeked up at him.  “How are we doing in there?”

“Oh my god, thank god, you’re here. I thought we were gonna die,” one of the kids replied, clutching his phone in his hand.

“Calm down, Flash. Everything is fine,” the pregnant woman reassured. “Right?” She looked up at Steve with worried filled eyes, and he nodded.

“Watch out, I'm coming down.” Steve crawled down into the hatch, and Bucky passed him the spare harness.  “Ma’am, you’re going up first, but first we need to get you strapped into this harness, then we’ll pull you up.” She nodded, trusting him, and allowing him to put the harness on her before Thor used the winch to pull her up.

“Okay, boys, who's going to go next?”

“I’m next,” the one they called Flash stated.

“Okay, then, how about you with the cool hat.”

“Thanks, it gives me confidence,” the kid smiled.

“And then, you,” Steve pointed to the kid wearing a Midtown School of Science and Technology shirt.

“Um...yeah--” he nodded a little too much. “--Yeah...I can go last. Get everyone else to safety first.”

“Perfect.” Steve clapped his hands together. “Let’s do this.”

___________

It turned out to be a quick rescue, and no one suffered any major injuries. Steve took some gear out to the truck and started repacking it when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around, noticing the kid in the Midtown School of Science and Technology shirt wrapped in an ambulance blanket. 

“What can I do for you, kid?”

“Peter. Peter Parker. I’m...I’m Peter Parker.” He held out his hand, and Steve shook it. “I just wanted to say thank you...thank you for saving my teacher and my friends back there. We’re on our school trip from New York, and this was an adrenaline rush experience.” Peter held up his hand, and Steve noticed it shaking.

He chuckled. “It will wear off.”

“It felt like that opening scene of that old action movie. Where John Wick saves those people that were trapped in the elevator after the bad guy tried to blow them up with a bomb. They don’t catch him obviously because it’s the opening scene, but later he puts the bomb on the bus, and that Bird Box lady has to keep driving like fifty-five miles an hour, or the bus will blow up.”

“I know the one. I think you’re thinking of Speed, but I don’t think it’s that old.” 

“Yeah, yeah, that one,” he chuckled, pointing his finger at him. “It’s kind of old, I mean you’re kind of old, so it’s kind of old to you, but to me, it’s kind of new because I’m not that old.” He rambled on, his eyes widening, realizing what he was saying. 

“Peter, come on. The museum is going to show us some never before seen stuff because we almost died,” the kid with the cool hat shouted from across the street. 

“Coming, Ned,” he yelled back. “Thanks again, Fireman Rogers, and sorry about calling you old. I didn’t...”

“It’s okay, kid, I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Steve watched Peter run back over to his friends with a smile on his face. It was these moments when he loved his job, watching friends and families reunite after a tragedy. It was these moments where he felt like it could almost fix what he lost. 

______________

You sighed, taking a seat at your usual spot at the end of the bar in Happy’s Hydrant. Happy noticed you right away and smiled, giving you a bottle of beer. You thanked him with a nod, taking a sip, and scanning the crowd. It wasn’t unusual to spot a familiar face, considering this bar was created for the heroes of Los Angeles. It welcomed all those members who served or are currently serving as first responders, but civilians were welcome, too. It’s nice to have a place to go with people you could relate to and share similar experiences with after working a twelve or twenty-four-hour shift. They understand what we go through on a day to day basis. It was one of the many reasons Happy Hogan wanted to open this bar after he retired from his Fire Chief position at Station 12.

You swiveled back and forth on your bar stool until someone familiar on the other end of the bar caught your eye. You stopped moving, your eyes not wavering from the man. Your mouth went dry, hearing your heartbeat thumping in your ears. You gulped, feeling your palms start to tingle as the muscles in your legs start to tighten. Every nerve in your body was firing, telling you to run, but it felt like if you moved an inch, he would see you, and these past three months would’ve been for nothing. He glanced your way for a brief moment, and relief flooded your whole body. You relaxed, squeezing your eyes shut as you took a few deep breaths in and out. It wasn’t him. 

The weight of someone touching your shoulder makes you jump off your bar stool, and turn around to see one of the ladies you were waiting for.  “Hey, it’s only me.” Carol held up her hands in surrender, giving you a reassuring smile. “Sorry, I forgot how jumpy you can be.”

“It’s okay. Lost in my head again.” You nodded, returning to your barstool.

“Thanks for giving my transfer a chance to be the shining star of my squad last week.” She nudged your side, flagging down Happy for a drink.

“Your what...with what,” you asked, narrowing your eyes at her. 

“The pool, the hose, the little girl stranded on a floaty with the water electrified. Ringing any bells?”

“Ohhh, right. That one.” You took a sip of your beer. “Fireman Rhodes or was it Ronin?”

“Rogers. Steve Rogers.” You pointed the neck of your beer bottle at her and nodded. “You made quite an impression on him. He can’t stop talking about it, and it’s getting really annoying, but I guess you did pop his dispatcher cherry.” She nudged your side with an ever-growing smile on her face. You rolled your eyes at her, shaking your head. “And if single you is interested, I am sure he is willing to mingle. At least, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I’m not ready to start dating. I’m still trying to find myself after going through a terrible six-year marriage.” You gave her a half shrug, eyeing the bar. “When I am ready to date again, all I want is a nice guy.”

“Steve’s nice.  Hey, you should swing by one day before your shift and meet him,” she winked, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“I haven’t even filed for divorce yet.”

“Wait--” she turned on her stool to face you “--hasn’t it been three months? Why not?”

“I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“Doesn’t he know where Thor lives?”

“No,” you sighed, shaking your head. “Let's just say he didn’t take much interest in my life while we were together. Besides, I don’t think he'd think I’d go to Thor with how everything turned out the last time I went to him for help.

“What an asshole.” She rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her beer, and you nodded.  “Well, at least you know you have an admirer,” she added, making you scoff.

“Hey ladies, sorry I’m late,” Natasha greeted, taking the other stool next to you. “Clint and I checked out this noise complaint a neighbor called in. And it turns out this guy was serenading his ex-girlfriend with hopes to win her back. It was this whole thing, and we wanted to stick around to see what happened next.” 

“So what happened,” Carol asked with curious eyes, wearing a mischievous smirk on her face.

“It was crazy.” She shook her head, letting out a breathy chuckle. “She came down and punched him in the face. Apparently, this dude cheated on her with, wait for it--” she drummed her hands on the bar countertop “--her brother. It was a twist I didn’t see coming, but talk about drama on duty. Sometimes I think it would be easier fighting fires or answering phones all day.”

“Oh please, Nat, you wouldn’t last a day. You would miss seeing the excitement first hand. Over the phone, you don’t get much excitement,” you replied.

“Speak for yourself,” Carol added, taking a swig of her beer. “You would love my job, Nat. You get to boss men around.”

“I kind of do that already. Besides, I don’t think I could leave Clint. He’d be lost without me,” she smirked, signaling Happy to make her a martini.

Natasha oozed confidence, which came off as intimidating to most women. When she walked into a room, all eyes were on her, but it was attention she chose to ignore. When men would buy her drinks, she'd take it to another lovely lady. Nat was all about lifting and empowering women to feel confident in their own skin. She wasn’t afraid to tell people to back off or shut up. She was the role model you wish you had when you were with him, then maybe you would've had the confidence and courage to leave sooner. 

“Here you are, Nat?” Happy pushed the martini glass to her. “Are you ladies still good?” He asked, pointing to the drinks in front of you.  

“Yeah, we’re good. Thanks, Happy,” you smiled at him as he walked away, shooting you a thumbs up. 

“How is apartment hunting going, YN?” Nat asked, taking a sip of her martini.

“Good, I found this cute little condo a few blocks away from work. It has a modern feel to it, but I think it would be perfect for me,” you described. “I loved it when I saw the pictures. The landlord is out of town right now, but she told me it’s mine if I want it.”

“I’m so excited for you,” Nat squealed, squeezing your forearm. “You need to get out of that testosterone-filled house and get on your own two feet again.”

“Yes, you do,” Carol agreed. “What’s your softie older brother going to think of you leaving?”

“I’m going to have to break it to him slowly.”

__________

AN: Thanks for reading part 2! I hope you all are liking it so far! If you caught it there was a quote from Brooklyn 99 that I thought was too good not to put in! 😂 Also, Darryl Jacobson, if you don't remember him, he was Thor's roommate in those Marvel shorts. I thought he would be a fun and entertaining addition to this story! Also, any ideas as to why Steve left his old firehouse? Did you enjoy the little Peter Parker cameo? And what do you think Thor is going to think of her moving it? Comments always welcome, thanks again for reading! 

[the-ce-horniest-book-club]

Last Chance Prompt Fest

Today is the day that our Last Chance Prompt Fest starts.

To take part, you don’t need to claim a prompt through us at all, you just find a prompt you like, create what you want to create and then tag us @the-ce-horniest-book-club​ and use the hashtag “CE HBC Last Chance Prompt Fest”. You can also DM your link to us to ensure we see it.

The event starts today, Friday, August 27th and ends next Friday, September 3, 2021.

Once the event has ended, we will answer the ask for the prompts that received creations. We will also have a masterlist for everything created as well.

Who can we create for?

You can create stuff for Steve Rogers, Chris Evans or any of Chris’s 18+ characters.

What can we create?

While the CE HBC is primarily a writing community, these events are to encourage creators of all types. So for this event, you can write, make moodboards, create a playlist, make a video or whatever you are inspired to create based on the prompts under the keep reading.

All of the prompts are listed below the cut and it does not matter how many things are created for each prompt.

Chris Evans Prompts

Could you do one with chris where the reader is eating something delicious and Chris hears them and tries to distract them with smutty things but the reader picks the treat over Chris. (Just had yams that tasted like my grandma used to make years ago, and I’ll pick that over Chris right now lol)

It’s hot AF where I live and we all know Chris doesn’t like the hot temps… so maybe something about trying to beat the heat

How many rounds was that? Four? God, we’re about to break our own record. With Chris? 😍

That’s a lot of sass for someone who ruined my sheets and still hasn’t apologized. With Chris?

Prompt: being friends with Chris and helping and supporting him with ASP too. When the news hit that Biden won your together and after squealing, he just grabs and kisses you.

Chris Evans brushing his heavily pregnant wife’s hair

Chris introducing you to his family for the first time

Readers reaction when Chris has to shave off his beard for a role and doesn’t tell her?

Hey i had an idea. she faked her orgasm because she has trouble cum.  Chris finds out and is angry because she hasn’t said anything and doubts his abilities?  then he brings her to orgasm

Chris playing Christmas songs on the piano while you wrap presents or something where he keeps you company while you’re doing something else

Ari Levinson Prompts

Cowboy Ari Levinson helping you out after he finds you on his ranch

Curtis Everett Prompts

Trying to have quiet sex with Curtis behind a curtain.

Frank Adler Prompts

Frank Adler gets a new neighbor - reader who is just as intelligent as his family and they like each other right away.

Nick Vaughn Prompts

Nick Vaughan keeping you company on the streets of New York

Steve Rogers Prompts

“I’m your Captain and you follow my orders!” “Aye, aye Cap’n!” “I said Captain, not pirate.”

“Hey Steve, what does a deaf gynecologist do?” “I don’t know.” “He reads lips.”

How about a drunk drabble based off of Right Girl Wrong Time by Jon Langston with Steve and Peggy

someone should write a steve and bucky threesome with a reader

“Yeah sex is great but have you just ever wanted to rub yourself over that fucking beard of Steve’s?”

I have a prompt for you. Steve has fallen in love with the Motown sound since Sam has played most of the genre for him. He has gone shopping, or gone for coffee and he hears you sing a song from the Supremes and is instantly intrigued. Have fun seducing him with music. https://youtu.be/HXGz8i0I2L0

It’s the first Christmas Steve has spent with y/n

Reader making Steve a heart cake for Valentine’s Day ❤️

Multiple Options Prompts

Can I get the following prompt with Steve, Colin, or Jensen? “In ancient Greece, throwing an apple was done to declare one’s love.” “How do I love thee, let me count the ways? Thump, thump, thump.” “So the mild concussion means you love me?”

Could I get “I see that you have your legal name listed as Y/n’s Daddy. That’s incorrect. You’re legal name is what’s on your Drivers Licence.” With any of Chris’ characters please?

SFW Prompts

For Chris or one of his characters, there is only one bed and they got to sleep far apart but wake up cuddling. Bonus points if they don’t hate it.

“Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay?!”

How about they’re roommates and “just friends” who develop feelings for each other

“You always say that, but I’d only see you for a day or two until you have to fly out again.”

“You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want. I just thought you should know.”

i have been in love with you, dumbass

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

I have these… powers raging around inside me, and I have no clue how to control them.

“Hey, it’s cold. Light a fire or something. I swear, you’re a cold blooded reptile.”

that guy in the gorilla costume has been following us for the past ten blocks.

going to a masquerade ball

“So, you’re the unfortunate soul stuck with me.”

“I look at you and I think, ‘sunshine. Literal sunshine.’ It’s annoying.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“What’s with the box?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“It’s not like I love you or anything.”

Merlin quote prompt: Nobility is defined by what you do, not by who you are

“Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you love me.”

“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

“I just want you to know I love you and I hope these roses prove that to you.”

Prompt: “if you steal all the blankets I’m going to put my cold feet on you.”

“What have we here? Bed: unslept in. Hair in… missionary disarray. And yesterday’s dress with today’s shame all over it.” Gossip Girl

Every time I’m in the same room with her, I can’t decide if I want to pick a fight with her or push her up against a wall and kiss the fuck out of her. - Falling for My Enemy by Claire Kingsley

“The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.”

NSFW Prompts

“Wet pussy is the best. I can’t get enough of the juices dripping from my mouth.”

“She beauty, she grace, I want her pussy on my face.”

“Sheathing my cock inside you feels like a jam donut being torn in half. Delicious and mind blowing.”

Twist on quarantine haircuts: couple helping each other with pubic hair maintenance

“I don’t know if you’re looking for Aztek gold down there, but if you don’t hurry up and fuck my brains out I’ll do it my damn self!”

“Have you ever noticed how eating a hot dog is similar to giving deepthroat?” “No but thanks, I don’t want to eat this now.”

Babe I can’t sleep. I know you just woke me up. Wanna fuck? I’m awake!!!

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but I’m about to punish that sassy mouth!”

“I love your longish hair baby. Finally got something to pull while you’re between my legs devouring me.”

Holiday Prompts

“Great, now I have to re-hide your Christmas gifts.”

“I’m not going to kiss you under the mistletoe.”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

“What are you doing?” “Hiding from carolers.”

“Santa’s handwriting looks suspiciously like yours.”

“Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”

“Are you Santa? Because I’d sit on your lap.”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“What the hell kind of Charlie Brown Christmas tree did you buy?”

“It looks like the North Pole threw up.”

i may or may not have gotten tangled up in the tinsel.

“If we don’t have this damn tree up before the end of the night, I’m going to kill you.”

“I’m going to tell Santa to give you coal.”

“It’s an advent calendar. You’re supposed to open one square a day, not eat half the chocolate in a sitting.”

“Why is there mistletoe in every room of the apartment?”

I got a little too drunk off of egg nog and vodka and you look so pretty in this light, and I most definitely want to kiss you right now, best friends or not.

we were going to a Christmas party but fuck if you don’t just look sinful in red, and you know what? Fuck that Christmas party.

Dad!chris (or one of his characters) and his kids at Christmas

“You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Spending your first Valentine’s Day together with any character