#tips from a research librarian

[thebookewyrme]

Fun fact! This is called Boolean searching, and it will work in almost any search field you run across, including google, duck duck go, and presumably bing though I’ve never used that one. Just make sure your OR, AND, and NOT words are capitalized and any multiple-word search terms are in quotations. Happy searching!!

video description: an AO3 tutorial narrated by a female voice. She is answering the question, "is there a way to include two separate tags? like to show me fics with fluff OR angst and it doesn't have to have both?"

"This is a great question because you might think that you want to do this."

The narrator zooms in on the filters menu where Fluff and Angst have both been added as other tags to include.

"But this actually means that I want to have both of those tags together."

She then explains that if you want search results that contain either one of those tags or both of them, the user should instead use the Search Within Results field at the bottom of the filter menu.

To create a filter for either fluff or angst, she instructs the user to type

fluff || angst

into the field. She explains that || means or. She also explains that you could use the word or in all caps instead like this

fluff OR angst

She then demonstrates search results with one fic which has the tag fluff, one fic that has the tag angst, and one fic that has both tags.

At the end of the video, she notes that if the tag you want to include in your search has more than one word (meaning there is a space between the words), then you should put quotation marks around it.

Note: you can string together multiple ORs, so for example

fluff OR angst OR hurt/comfort OR crack

[jstor]

Want to write for JSTOR and get paid to do it?

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Learn more and submit your drafts here!

Image: A Scholar/Apothecary Mixing a Concoction with a Pestle and Mortar and Writing down the Remedy; an Emblem from a Drug Jar. Watercolour. Wellcome Collection.

[yoursweetheartsrevenge]

The Academic

Summary: He’s gorgeous and silent. The perfect patron. But the underlying mystery of why this mysterious silver haired stranger spends entire days seated in the library fascinates the staff. One librarian takes it upon herself to see who this mystery man is and what exactly he desires.

Read on Ao3

Written for @hotd-bigbang

Taglist: @sepherinaspoppies

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: smut (face sitting, creampie, cowgirl, public sex), MINORS DNI, 18+ 

Word Count: 10.9K+

Author’s Note: Written for @hotd-bigbang.

Week 4: Free Space - Wanted to write another Modern AU. Besides, ever since Ewan answered with the library as what Aemond would love about modern society I was itching to write him in a modern library setting. This really got away from me.

The Academic

“He’s back again.” 

She turned to look at her co-worker. Her dark haired co-worker was slowly sipping her coffee while tilting her head in the direction of the he in question. The librarian adjusted her glasses higher on the bridge of her nose as her light eyes fell in the direction of him. 

Their silver haired frequent researcher had a decent looking spread across one of the library’s wide tables. She held a series of poor condition large print titles that were due to be recycled. She plopped them on the dark book cart hearing the hardcovers echo against the howl metal. 

He remained concentrated. His long curtain of white blonde hair did not even deter him from his studies. He scribbled notes before flipping one page then two pages in another book. She could definitely see a range of atlases and maps he had somehow found within the public library walls. 

“The Academic.” Her co-worker nearly chuckled in a posher than normal voice. 

“A nickname just because he is doing a research project?” She said with a sigh. Her fingers tickled the edges of the cracked veiny spines. She slowly shifted the titles to be in alphabetical order. 

“Yes, but you see the assortment of books he has piled up, maps, business proposals, history books, and I am pretty sure he’s found every title older than seventy years old not in a glass case.” She gave her coffee a loud sip again. They both looked toward their mystery researcher. 

Still very concentrated. 

“He’ll come looking for one of those titles in the historical room one of these days. I’m sure of it.” There was a soft smile on her co-worker’s face that nearly looked dreamy. 

“You just think he’s attractive.” She whispered in a hiss. Her hands gripped the metal handles of the book cart. 

“Oh please,” She settled the cardboard coffee cup beside her desktop at the reference desk. “I see the way you make eyes at him. I’ll turn on the fan for you.” Her fingers clicked on their small fan at the desk. 

The librarian huffed pulling the cart away. One wheel spun out as she moved it across the carpet. It echoed softly hitting bumps every so often. Her french tip nails clicked against the cart. There was a slight pause in her pathway when she realized she would have to pass “the academic” to get to the back office. 

The library was nearly empty on the creeping autumn mid afternoon. The trees had just started turning that crisp orange with yellow veins along the leaves. The large framed windows let in the shadows of oranges that made her feel cozy to be inside. Her eyes lingered on him for a moment. 

He had his hair half up in a small ponytail. He wore a soft green sweater with two navy stripes nearly hidden beneath the fluff of the sweater. She could see white cuffs peeking through the cuffs on the sweater. He had before him an array of different colored pens and highlighters lined up in a nearly perfect line.

Her lips settled into a soft smile seeing it. 

There was an appreciation there in seeing organization. 

She loved seeing how he had lined them up, placing them back in order as he went. 

Not as if she were looking.

Slowly she pushed her cart past the front of his table. Her soft heels settled on the hard carpet making an easy click as she moved. 

He looked up. 

She saw him then. 

The librarian wasn’t sure why she hadn’t seen the eye patch, leather and etched with an embroidery of leaves along the edges. The design work was actually quite beautiful. His soft violet eye slowly blinked at her. 

She felt caught somehow as if she were doing something wrong instead of her job. 

Her throat rolled out a quiet whimper. She winced, feeling her covered big toe knock against one of the wheels. She nearly tripped. Their mystery researcher began to stand. Her hands pushed the cart further until she passed his table. 

He was standing, watching her go. 

She didn’t want to look back. 

Her mind wandered to imagining that he was looking at her behind in the long skirt skating at her ankles. 

In the window of the office she could see, he was doing just that. 

He was outside before they opened almost every day now. She always thought the silver haired researcher looked dashing in every outfit he came in with. Her co-workers would swoon with curiosity at what exactly he was working on. 

Librarians were always up for a good mystery.

He never spoke to a single employee. His long fingers and brilliant mind seemed to navigate the shelves with great ease as if he had been here since the building opened and had not just appeared two months before. 

She noticed the things her co-workers seemed to ignore in favor of his physical traits. 

They, of course, had noted the eyepatch, but she had noticed how he seemed to not touch it as if it were an old wound he was used to when the world seemed too silent around him.

She noted what kind of bags he came with. A green leather briefcase and a canvas messenger bag always accompanied him to his table. His table was nearest to the non-fiction materials. She noted he remained close to the history section. He never took too many steps from his table to what materials he needed. 

While her co-workers continued to be curious what the handsome stranger was researching, seeing him devoted to taking every copy of the history section on The Conquest to his table to study and topical maps of the surrounding areas of Westeros, she had been curious how he researched. 

He did not come in with a laptop, but instead a smattering of over used notebooks that were dog eared and sticking out papers at the edges. There was organization there. She could tell as he maneuvered between each notebook with ease pulling out different writing utensils with each different book. 

There was no doubt he remained very concentrated about his work. 

“How does he know where it all is?” Her co-worker had asked while in the break room. She was looking between the blinds at him.

There were only the two of them in the break room. While her co-worker was nearly glued to watching the handsome researcher, she continued to eat her tuna fish sandwich shrugging slightly.

“He seems intelligent enough to figure it out.” It was an obvious statement. She heard the blinds snap closed. “What?” Her co-worker stared at her rolling her eyes. 

“Why do you do that?” 

“Do what?” She picked at the crust of her bread looking down. 

“Pretend like you have some special bond with him. Like you know him.” Her eyes narrowed as if trying to decide if her words might be true. 

“I just appreciate how self-sufficient he is. It’s rare.” 

That seemed to be the end of the conversation. 

She had the night shift that evening. It was always quiet toward the end of the night. This was the time she could do her displays. She was pulling some titles for non-fiction ghost stories as autumn continued to linger into the spooky season. Her short list of titles was nearly finished, but she was missing one.

Her feet padded over to the section, checking the early 100s for about the fifth time. Her fingers wiped over the empty spot which should have held, Most Haunted Places of Westeros. It was a loose spot with several titles leaning into each other for support. She didn’t know why she was so keen to find the title. Perhaps it was because the records said it was checked in and it was not exactly where it was supposed to be. 

It frustrated her when things were out of place. 

She clicked her nails against the wooden shelf. Her eyes wandered beyond that spot to the other side. Her eyes caught the side profile of a curtain of silver hair as he stood looking over a title. Her eyes caught his eye for a sharp moment staring a bit caught in the moment. She saw the twitch of a smile on his face. Her fingernails scratched the wood watching him walk away. 

Maybe . . .

Her body moved automatically putting the books on display at the end cap of the non-fiction shelving unit. She smoothed out the display sign indicating what kinds of titles were on display, a black inky paper filled with white cartoon ghosts flying out of a white lined Victorian house. There was that missing spot though. It made her lips twitch a bit. She turned the corner to look for the title thinking it may have been mishelved. 

She wasn’t sure how long she was looking or when she had gotten on her hands and knees to obsessively check  the bottom shelves. Her hand caught her sneeze hearing the tail end of a clearing of a throat. 

“Sorry,” His voice was not familiar to her, but it was higher than she imagined it. She sniffled, turning to see the silver haired stranger holding out exactly what she was looking for. “I took one of your books for your display, didn’t I?” 

Her mind blanked for a moment looking up at him from on her knees on the hard carpet. She sat back on her ankle booties. Her glasses, silver framed completely on purpose since she had to stare at his silver hair all day and every week, slid down her nose. When she adjusted them she could see he was wearing a black button up with every button fascinated tight. So tight in fact she could see that his biceps and pecs were straining. 

She nibbled at the side of her lips before realizing his words. 

“Oh it is no trouble I can -” 

“No, please. I’m finished. Besides, you are closing soon.” He nodded his head curtly holding out the thick yellowed paged book. She could smell the age of it from here, but it was a perfect addition for her display which she desperately needed. 

She shifted upwards, unable to stop herself from witnessing the way his violet eye seemed to follow her. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. Gods, he was tall! Nearly a foot taller than her, but she could have imagined that by the way he was slumped over his studies. 

There was more she could say, but instead she mumbled a soft thank you letting her fingers grasp the book from his hand. She pressed it to her chest letting her feet take her back to the end cap. 

He watched her. 

She felt that soft eye on her making sure the book returned to where it needed to be. 

“You know we close in fifteen minutes. Don’t you, Sir?” She said merely so she could break his little stare. She was aware he knew this information.

“Oh yes, right. I should start packing up my things. Apologies again for the book.” He nodded awkwardly before returning to his table where he did in fact have a large spread of items. 

While he packed up she looked up at the cover of the book they had both been desperately clinging to. 

She wondered what a man like him could need a book about supernatural locations for. 

He had finally checked out a book. 

It was the gossip of the day among all the curious library workers. He had come up to the circulation desk with one paperback fiction title tucked at his hip. It was before he went on his two hour lunch break to the local coffee shop. Upon handing his library card, everyone now knew the name of the silver haired patron who graced them with delicious eye candy for months. 

Aemond Targaryen. 

It wasn’t long before everyone knew quite too much about the no longer stranger. She had sat back and listened as they listed his accomplishments and failures. The Targaryens were nearly celebrities, but the silver hair while hereditary wasn’t exactly an indication of a true Targaryen. Many people dyed their locks to look like the semi celebrity royals of Westeros.

It didn’t bother her much that they were searching for juicy gossip about the long haired Aemond Targaryen. That was simply human nature. People were curious when strange people came in. Aemond was an interesting fellow. She could admit that. 

What bothered her most was when they discussed his eye. 

It was no secret Aemond Targaryen was missing one eye. 

She had never been curious about the cause of it. 

What good was knowing the nature of his disability? 

Her co-workers seemed obsessed over knowing how the eye was lost. 

When they were discussing she had taken to leaving the room or planting herself on the large circular reference desk in the middle of the library that always faced him. Everytime she did she saw him catch her with his one good eye. 

She was beginning to notice it more and more ever since the first day she spoke to him. 

Aemond Targaryen was curious about HER. 

Her co-workers were so wrapped up in knowing him more that they had not noticed that they had now taken to exchanging soft smiles. It was a small gesture, but one she seemed to look forward to. She had also taken to going to lunch around the same time as him. She would whisper her request for an early lunch knowing he would softly gather his things before heading to the coffee shop within walking distance. It may have been her imagination, but when she lifted herself from the squeaky wheeled chair at the desk he’d look up and begin to pack up as if on an automatic timer. 

There was an unwritten rule not to scold him if he came back with his flat white latte with the lid firmly on. Now that they understood he was a Targaryen the rule was very widely known among patrons and the staff. 

She had settled herself at the desk beginning her desk shift for the day. Her items were always well placed beside her. Her notebook containing her to-do list was open on her left while her cold brew with a light pink reusable straw was settled to her right on top of a tissue in an attempt not to make a stain on the ancient desk. She was typing her password in the computer when she felt his warm shadow. 

“I was looking for a book.” 

Aemond Targaryen liked to wear black and green. It had something to do with the heraldry of their house in Old Valyria. Not that she had scrolled on her phone late one night to discover the reason. However today he was dressed in a rather plain looking mock grey turtleneck and dark jeans. His eye patch however was a faded olive green leather bordered with little vines at the edges. 

“Oh, of course,” His question caught her off guard. He never came looking for a title. Aemond Targaryen was used to navigating the library on his own. It seemed to function as a second home to him. She suspected if he could sleep here he would. “Do you know the -” 

“It says it is in special collections.” He answered as if seeing the curiosity on her face. She saw his head tilt slightly. “It’s on The Conquest.” Her brain worked to guess what he was talking about. There was a small smile peaking at the corners of her lips as if he were enjoying seeing her mind sort through all the titles. 

“We have many titles in our historical archives on The Conquest. Did you have a specific one in mind?” She hated to give up and not give him an answer, but -

“How many titles?” 

“Twenty six.” Her eyes nearly widened at her own memory. 

His lashes fluttered as he chuckled softly. 

“You know the collection quite well, Miss . . .” 

She spoke her name. Her voice cracked a bit at the letters. 

Gods was he handsome. 

She hated that.  

“Perhaps you can show me the collection?” There was a softness in his voice as he asked, a politeness she rarely heard in the few times they spoke. 

She simply nodded shifting to put up the sign at the desk signifying she was off desk. Her fingers shuffled for the keys to the private room and various locked cabinets in the drawer. He waited and watched her as she moved. She momentarily thought to break the silence of the soft echo of their heels by asking him of his research, but slowly thought it was none of her business. 

The historical archives room was a space on the opposite end of the library. Individuals rarely went in there, but there was the occasional reporter or request that came in from across the country asking for a scan of a record. Generally civilians didn’t ask too much for the room unless they were doing family research. 

“Conquest.” She muttered under her breath a few times in a sing-song tone. 

She noted he was leaning against one of the shelves before she turned to give him a stern look. 

“Please be careful. That is original furinture.” She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. It appeared to work though. Aemond Targaren acted as a caught child straightening up, folding his hands behind him. “Now as I said we have a number of titles on The Conquest.” 

“Twenty six.” He repeated her own words. 

The high ceilings seemed to echo those words. 

“Yes,” She swallowed, moving to tap her fingers along the first of several glass cases that bordered the room. “Most are in these cases, if you want to -” 

“I know what I am looking for.” Aemond said. 

He scrolled confidently over to a small cabinet near the exit of the room. It held many titles that were distinguished as being from two hundred years ago. She hesitated before going to the cabinet to join him. She followed his line of sight to see that he was eyeing the only spine with no title. 

“These are rarely looked at.” The librarian started out loud. “There is a procedure if you wish to look at them.” She started to move to the small drawer underneath the cabinet pulling out supplies. There was a small pink plastic bin she settled on the table. The brunette could feel his eyes watching her. She adjusted her glasses hoping he did not notice they were fogging. 

“I’ll need your id.” She shifted the little card bin brushing off some dust from infrequent use. “You’ll need to wear these gloves to look at the item.” Her finger shifted the small pump of hand sanitizer and box of tight blue latex gloves. “Put the sanitizer on your hands before the gloves.” She lined the items out in the order he needed to use them. Her eyes fluttered up to him. Aemond slowly turned his head toward her, eyeing the items. “The item must remain in this room. Any damage -”

“I will not damage the item.” He stated coldly. 

“Any damage to the item will be noted. There are cameras in this room.” That last line was one she should not have stated yet she still pointed them out to the man. He did not follow her finger, but instead remained looking at her. His focus made her cheeks hot. “Do you have any questions?” 

“Will you be watching me the entire time I read?” There was a cheekiness there in his tone.

“Only if you would like me too.” She wasn’t sure where her own flirtation had come from. 

“Hmmm . . .” He wondered if he wanted that. “I should not keep you. I will not be long. I simply need to make some notes.” His hand patted his jean pocket where she could see the spirals of the notepad sticking out. 

The librarian shifted her keys hating how close he leaned to her, hating more how she could very much see how her fingers trembled as she opened the door. She could smell his cologne on him, something she had not noticed before. It was soft and musky like a forest after a very heavy rain when every pine was fresh and wet. She shifted to put the gloves on herself retrieving the delicate item from the cabinet. 

He did as instructed. Aemond Targaryen placed his driver’s license in the bin. He wet his hands with a slow spurt of santizer rubbing it between his two hands while watching her. He slipped the gloves on with ease. 

“I will come check on you in fifteen minutes.” 

With that she left him to his business fully aware that his eyes trailed after her when she left. 

Her mind could not focus on the tasks she had left. Her emails remained a blank white screen. Her voice trembled slightly as patrons came to the desk asking computer based questions and looking for titles. One young woman even asked if she was alright. 

Gods, what was this man doing to her? 

It had been exactly sixteen minutes when she had a chance to go check on him. 

He was maneuvering from the table of contents to numbered passages. She was fully aware that was what he was doing as she noticed the gesture. Aemond Targaryen did that often with other books at the library. 

“A minute late. Tsk, tsk.” Her heart jumped at the disappointment in his tone before she noted his little smile. 

“Patrons can be quite needy.” What was she saying? 

“Am I a needy one?” 

“No. You are quite self sufficient. It is very much appreciated.” She shifted on her heels before deciding to approach him. “Did you need more time or . . .” 

“Hmmm . . .” He looked down at his small notepad. “Perhaps another five minutes. That should give me enough time to take my final notes. Would that be sufficient?” When he looked at her she felt her heart in her throat. His hair was perfectly laid back across his toned shoulders. 

“Of course. Please let me know if you need anything.” 

She walked out fast knowing if she lingered too long he may say something cheeky. 

The librarian settled at the desk noting the time. She wrote one email in those five minutes that she immediately erased seeing how it almost read as nonsense. 

“He asked for a book?” Her co-worker wondered as their shift was beginning to change. 

The librarian explained what had transpired, noting the title. 

“He checked out a fictional recount of The Conquest. I saw he’s getting a dual master’s in history and philosophy.” When she inquired how her co-worker knew that she simply winked. 

“I’m going to check on him then go to lunch.” The librarian shifted up the pink bin containing his id to bring back to him. 

When she entered the room he was not at the table. The book was left abandoned. He was looking through the shelves at other titles, hands behind his back. 

“All finished, then?” 

He simply nodded. She handed him back his id. He reached for his wallet, putting it back inside. She could not help seeing the wads of large bills sticking out from there. Yes the Targaryens were quite well off, but it was one thing to have the knowledge and another to see the cash in his wallet.

“Did you find everything you needed?” She couldn’t help herself. She wanted to talk to him more. 

“I did. Have a good lunch, my dear.” 

With that he left, letting his dress heels echo in the room. The librarian began to put on the gloves to return the book when she found the edges of a ripped out spiral piece of paper sticking out. 

Surely this didn’t belong. 

She pulled it free seeing that hand writing was not only beautiful, but the message caused her cheeks to flush. 

If you are able to get away please meet me for lunch today. I suspect you know the spot. - Aemond Targaryen

She rubbed the message between her fingers lingering over the thought that he knew that she watched him so closely. 

Dare she answer this request? 

Her heart fluttered widely at the thought of it. Her mind raced thinking that she could not get a coffee as she had already had her caffeine for that day. Why was she focused on coffee when Aemond Targaryen had asked her out to lunch? 

Instead she let her mind focus on the task at hand. She put the book away. As she ripped off the gloves she felt unsettled on her feet. 

How long had it been since she had been asked out? 

How long would it be if she rejected this request? 

Soon she found herself by her locker contemplating exactly what she should do. 

“I’m going out to lunch today. Be back in an hour.” She told her co-worker at the desk before heading out the front doors into the chilled November air. 

She shifted on her feet in line unsure what exactly she expected when entering the small cafe. It smelt of fresh coffee and cream with the steam of the espresso machine calling out to her. The clattering of plates settled on the counter for bussers to shift freshly pressed pannis and bowls of over grown gourmet salads to tables. 

Her eyes raked over the scene spread before her. It was a small smattering of people in business suits mixed with friends chatting over wide brimmed cups of hot coffee. Despite it being a short five minute walk from her library she had never been inside. It felt cozy and warm, especially on such a chilly day. 

“You came.” She barely noticed as he settled next to her in line. 

The librarian only nodded. 

“I’ve never been here.” She mused. 

“I’m as much a regular here as the library. Let me buy you lunch.” His hand seemed to hover behind her back as if wishing to touch her. 

“No, please, I couldn’t -” 

“But you will. Let me. Please.” The sparkle tangled in that violet eye making her sigh aloud. She blinked letting strands of her brown hair fall into her eyes clouding her sight as they settled on her glasses. 

Aemond started small talk about what he had liked and disliked so far in his several months coming to the location. He pointed out his favorites. She noted he settled on healthier menu items, turkey sandwiches or salads with fresh fruits. They were in a bit of a heated discussion on whether fruit belonged in a salad when it was their turn. 

“The usual Mr. Targaryen?” The young woman with a nose piercing and big bright eyes asked him. Her eyes looked curious at his lunch companion. 

“Yes, but I will also be getting lunch for my date here.” 

The noise of the place roared silent in her mind, though she suspected the world continued around them. 

Date? 

Date?!

Date . . .

“My dear, what would you like?” He asked it as if he had asked her several times. 

“Oh, um . . . caesar salad, no croutons, add avocado.” 

It was her go to with any location, though avocado was not usually something many cafes could accomedate. This place seemed able to provide her with it. When asked for her drink she had ordered a tea. It seemed like the correct beverage for a location such as this. 

Aemond found them a table. One that she suspected was another regular spot. It had an amazing view of a small garden outside. She tugged at her coat as she prepared her tea seeing that they had quite an assortment of flavors. She tried not to focus on how nice he looked with the sun shining in his long silver locks. She certainly wasn’t watching his lips against the cardboard cup sipping at his latte. 

She settled her tea on the table before removing her coat. His eye watched her every movement as if taking in each small gesture to memory. 

“I’m so glad you came.” She swallowed at the words looking at him. “I really didn’t think you would.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“You are . . . hmmm . . .” He hummed into his cup before taking a deep sip. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Very professional. I did not think dating a patron would be something you would consider.” 

It wasn’t. 

She sipped at her fruity tea without saying those words. 

“Why did you come to lunch with me then?” He scratched at his cup. 

“Curiosity.” She hummed with a shrug. 

“Is that all?” He nearly laughed at the notion. 

“I would not have come if I thought I wouldn’t enjoy myself.” It was true. Why would she waste her time on a boring person? Aemond Targaryen was intriguing. She could not deny him that. 

“You are so kind to say that. Not many people would have taken the offer.” 

They watched as their food was settled on the table. Another young girl seemed to let her eyes linger on him as she placed his roasted turkey sandwich with kale chips in front of him. Her salad was nearly a second thought. 

“You see.” He told her motioning as the bus girl let them be. 

“See?” She positioned her utensils beside her just as she liked. 

“Do not play dumb with me, my dear. I know you see.” His voice was lower, harsher, filled with a feeling she could not put her finger on. 

“You do not need me to tell you that you are intimidating and handsome.” Her fork stabbed at her salad as she used her knife to cut it into smaller pieces. 

“Handsome?” He cooed. 

“Don’t get a big head about it. I am aware you know everyone at the library is nearly falling over themselves to bask in your presence.” She was nearly bitter about it as she spoke. 

“Not you.” 

“No, I’m just better at hiding it.” She was. She had taken the time to hide any feelings she had, bury them deep until she could not feel them any longer. Many of her therapists called it unhealthy, but it never stopped her from doing it. 

“What else are you hiding, my dear?” He hadn’t touched his food. Aemond Targaryen was looking at her with a bewitched look as if he could fall in love with her at any moment. 

“Keep taking me out on dates and maybe you’ll find out.” 

He did just that. 

Aemond Targaryen, the more she thought about it, seemed to be enchanted by her presence. They had taken to going out to lunch twice a week. Occasionally they would hold hands on line as they ordered, but it was nothing more than that. Aemond was a true gentleman letting her guide every touch and subject they settled on. 

She learned his father had recently passed on leading to a fight within the family for the wealth he left behind. Aemond wanted nothing more than to continue his education. He was in a very intense dual master’s program with a hope to someday become a professor or work in another program in his field. They discussed their favorite museums and topics they both loved. 

She was surprised how easy every conversation was. 

It was as if they were good friends rekindling their friendship into a romance. 

She told him how much she adored every aspect of her job. Organization and learning were her favorite things in the world. His organization was something that caught her eye long before his beauty. 

As December approached, he began to ask her out for dinner and cozy outings. As Christmas approached she could very much feel that Aemond Targayen was more than a friend and rather a boyfriend. It was made very apparent when they walked hand in hand in the Christmas market. He had given her a kiss, their first, before letting her drive off home. 

They hid their relationship well as he still came to study in the library. He explained he could not resist being close to her, but also he still had much to study. She never truly hid the relationship from her co-workers. Right before Christmas some of her co-workers seemed to figure out her and Aemond were dating. 

They didn’t say much. 

They could be as coy and silent as her. 

On Christmas when she visited her family she received texts from him wishing her well and wistfully waiting to see her again. After Christmas he began to come into the library less though they continued their dates after work with dinners out. He explained his absence due to the fact that he was dealing with the inner workings of his family’s estate due to the sudden inability of his elder brother, Aegon to handle manners. 

On New Year’s Eve, Aemond Targaryen took his girlfriend out to a bar, Storm’s End. It wasn’t a typical location they went out to. He usually took her to historical locations buzzing to discuss the history behind the restaurant or museums with elegant restaurants attached. Storm’s End was a bit seedy with shaded lights and a smoky atmosphere. 

He had picked her up after work not telling her this was where they were going. 

Aemond had pulled out the bar stool and ordered for them. He knew her drink order by now. She loved a fruity martini after a long day. That night she sipped on a mango martini and watched him order a very expensive scotch that made the bartender’s eyes widen. He repeated the price several times before believing that the Targaryen man actually wanted it. Her hand traveled up Aemond’s thigh as the liquid in the glass seemed to disappear at her lips. 

She could hear his breath grow a bit heavier as she squeezed his toned thigh. 

Alcohol always loosened her inhibitions. 

They had not done anything quite sexual as of yet, but it did not mean she didn’t want to. 

The opportunity had never truly arisen. 

The hottest they had gotten was making out in his car before she decided she needed to go inside and his lips were bright red with her pretty lipstick. 

“You keep that up and I’ll have to take you into the bathroom.” He teased brushing his fingers along her knuckles. 

“What if that’s my goal for the evening?” She leaned forward feeling tempted to tease him further. “Have you fuck me against a dirty wall in a seedy bar? Is that why you brought me here, Aemond Targaryen?” It was only a tease as she kissed under his ear. 

Before anything further could settle between them, a large order of chicken wings settled between them. She was starving. Her fingers pulled apart the wings eager and hungry not caring if hot sauce coated her fingers. He couldn’t help himself watching her. He was glad when she offered her dirty fingers to him to suckle. The way his lips moved made her twitch a bit under her skirt. 

It wasn’t a foreign feeling. She wasn’t a prude. Her sexual history was wrought with playful exploration and deep desires. Aemond had occasionally squeezed her thighs as they kissed. His fingers would gently stroke her sex as well. Nothing more had come of it which had been a bit of a disappointment. 

She suspected tonight they could take their relationship further. 

It was especially true when Aemond seemed to take her chin in his hands. He began to kiss her right there at the bar letting his tongue explore her. The martini was empty by now, giving her a pleasant buzz that allowed her arms to wrap around him to settle into the pleasure of feeling him. Her breath was hurried as her fingers pulled at his long locks. Aemond didn’t seem to mind how enthusiastic she was being. His hands anchored her hips to the stool even as she tried to lift up to crawl into his lap. 

“You are so fuckin needy.” He said between kisses. “You want me so bad don’t you, beautiful?” She licked her lower lip at his words.  “Come on now. Let’s get you home, my dear.” 

She saw him fish out a single bill from his wallet. Her hands stroked his thigh feeling how toned he was. She would not get used to feeling the muscles on his thigh and under his shirt. He was so fuckin’ toned for a man who seemed glued to old dusty books. 

“Gods,” He whimpered. Her cold hands were inching under his now untucked button up. “Relax. I’ll take care of you soon enough.” 

It nearly sounded like a threat. 

She didn’t mind it. It was very clear how badly she wanted him. She should have been embarrassed. There were whistles across the bar. All eyes on her as she was being quite bad feeling him up in front of every living person in this bar. It didn’t matter to her. She’d never see these people again. If she felt the need she could dry hump her boyfriend here if she thought he wouldn’t spank her later. 

Though she wasn’t against spanking. 

“Aemond.” She whispered against his ear. 

“Fuckin’ don’t,” He cooed. Aemond Targaryen pulled her off the bar stool. “I’m glad I drove. You’re a mess and only from one drink.” She had forgotten what martinis did to her. She had gone out with Aemond having a glass of white wine, but the harder stuff made her a bit handsy. 

Well maybe more than a bit. 

He drove her back to her place, a small flat not far from the bar. 

When he parked she nearly crawled on top of him whispering his name against his pretty lips. 

“Do you want to come inside?” There was a lilt of naughtiness in her tone. 

“I feel if I don’t you’ll have all kinds of fun without me.” He grabbed her chin looking her over. “Your glasses are all fogged up, silly girl.” He kissed her cheek then down her neck. “So fuckin’ beautiful.” She shivered as he licked and kissed her neck, teasing the fur around the collar of her coat. “Come on. Let’s get you warmed up.” 

Her mind at the thought of going inside became more focused. She didn’t want to feel too needy and desperate their first time having sex. She wanted to be able to feel every second of Aemond Targaryen taking control of her body or however he wanted her. She shifted taking the lead to pull him inside. Aemond surprisingly let her take control letting his hand rest eagerly in hers. 

The key pushed into the lock with ease. 

Her mind floated to the idea that he would be pushing his cock inside her in a similar manner later tonight. 

She settled beside the door looking about for a moment. Panic rose in her thoart at the thought that her flat might be a nightmare. There were some piles of books beside the sofa in the living room, but not much else was out of place except . . .

“Samson!” She hissed seeing her lithe black cat hop on the counter in the open kitchen just as she removed her last shoe. “Psst! Get down.” The cat looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Gods!” 

She started padding her feet over to the cat who immediately retreated into the living room. Aemond gave a soft chuckle watching the ordeal unfold. 

“Oh you think this is funny?” Her grin softened slightly. 

“Yes. You are quite adorable when you are a bit mad.” His eye watched the cat slink under the couch. Samson watched him with yellow eyes as his tail swished back and forth. “He’s a bit skittish.” She threw her coat toward the couch, though Samson was so used to the gesture he did not move from under it. 

“You aren’t around cats a lot are you?” She took his hand in hers trying to pull his attention away from the suspicious feline. “Let me show you the bedroom. Kitty will be fine.” Her mind thought about saying something lewd about a different kind of pussy cat, but she was too needy for words any longer. 

It seemed to work. His eye settled on her following like a lost puppy ready for a delicious treat. She’d give him anything he needed tonight while not compromising her desires. Despite her up tight demeanor she was curious to see what Aemond Targaryen desired in the bedroom. He seemed quite enamored with her thighs, squeezing and caressing them any chance he got. 

When she pulled him into her bedroom she did not give him a chance to look around. Her arms pulled him down to crash into her lips. Her tongue was eager to push inside his mouth and whimper small noises against his plush lips. His hands settled on her brown checkered dress pushing her close into him. 

She could feel how hard he was for her. 

It was pure desperation. 

Her arms pulled him down, nearly ready to jump on him. 

“Mmmm. . .” He hummed against her lips. “Wait.” She let herself obey even though her body wanted to reject his words. 

He pulled from her letting his gaze settle over her. Aemond licked his lips. She could see him breathing so heavily. He was struggling to gain his composure, to obey his own word of warning. He hummed again before licking his lips again. His finger pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. It was then she noticed how hard she was breathing. 

“So bloody gorgeous.” He said in nearly a single breath. 

“So are you.” She mused with a soft innocent smile trying her best not to touch him again. 

“Don’t do that.” He warned. Aemond straightened letting his eye tease across her bright face. 

“I’m not doing anything.” She shifted on her sock clad feet. 

“Yes, you are.” Aemond tucked her hair behind her ear. “Just standing there with that little smile.” His fingers traced her lips as he spoke. “And your glasses framed silver as if I wouldn’t notice.” He tapped his finger at the corner of the glasses, a reflective silver frame. “You’ve wanted me for so much longer then I realized, haven’t you? I should have noticed sooner. I could have been doing these things,” He moved his other hand up her skirt passed her panties to her wetting slit. “To you so much sooner.” She gasped feeling his finger slip inside her. His palm held her face as he fingered her. 

“You are so fuckin wet.” His voice was low and teasing. His nose nuzzled against her cheek. “You want me to fuck you? Hmmm . . . tell me what you want me to do to you.” She couldn’t think as he pumped his finger inside her. “Oh, my dear. Can’t tell me hmmm . . .” She shook out her hair. He tucked it back together into that little tight bun atop her head. “How about I make a request then?” 

She nearly cried out when he pulled his hand away from inside her. His hand started to unbutton his black dress shirt. Aemond pulled it off tossing it to the floor. Her eyes raked over his toned chest for only a moment. He was fluid as he undressed taking his shoes, socks, pants, then boxers off until he was completely nude in front of her. He stroked his cock, from base to tip slowly watching her squirm to move under his gaze. 

“I want you to sit on my face.” 

He moved to her soft white comforter settling on the pillow on her bed.

She blinked for a moment taking in his request. 

“Did you not here me, love?” He sat up slightly looking her over. “Come sit on my face, my dear. Let me eat that sweet cunt of yours until you are trembling.” She blinked again before letting her fingers pull off her silk panties. She reached behind her to find the zipper of her dress. 

“No.” He said sharply. “Keep the dress on.” 

“You don’t want to see me?” It was an automatic reaction of self doubt that bubbled at her lips. 

“That’s not it, love.” She started to kneel on the bed as he spoke. He took her hands in his. “I have a bit of a fantasy.” Ah there it was. 

“Librarian fetish?” She was no stranger to that sort of thing. 

“Not exactly.” His soft blush told her differently though. 

“No shame in expressing what you like, my dear.” She used his own words against him. “Tell me. I suppose you want me to keep my glasses on too.” She adjusted said glasses up the bridge of her nose. She watched him swallow. His cock even twitched. It was such a simple gesture and he had nearly creamed himself. 

“Please.” He was nearly begging now. “Sit on my face. Let me make you feel good.” 

She hiked up her skirt rolling the fabric as she moved over him. She let her pussy lips skate across his cock as she moved. The groan was so low and needy she wondered if she needed to settle on his long hardness right then and there. Instead she settled for lowering on his face.His lips suckled her loudly causing her to gasp deeply. 

“Oh, so fuckin’ good. Yes.” She tried to focus on her breathing. The skirt blocked her view from his lovely face, though she could still feel how good his lips were treating her. “Let me know if I’m too heavy or you need a - ahhhhhhh!” She felt her hips moving against his mouth riding his tongue out as it found her clit to suckle. 

She had never ridden a man’s face before. Yes she had gotten eaten out, but this was a very different experience all together. Her hands positioned themselves against the plush headboard of her bed. It rocked banging softly against her egg shell colored walls. His hands held her steady and close to his face. She could not help herself in leaning into his mouth that latched onto her. His nose flicked back and forth stimulating her clit that she felt was just as needy as her. 

Her breath heaved in and out trying to focus on being able to breath. Her whimpering was a bit pathetic, but the more noises she made the more vigorous Aemond seemed to become. His hands were under her dress holding her hips against his mouth. She could hear the loud suckling against her cunt along with the slobbering mess he was drooling over her cunt. His moans and delicious little noises spurned her on. 

“Aemond, I’m close. Aemond . . .” There were no words any longer, but she could feel him move her skirt. Her eyes closed as she felt herself unravel on his mouth. 

Her hands laid flat against the headboard. Her hips rutted against his mouth riding out her little high. Her eyes finally settled downward to see he had moved her skirt to watch her face as she came undone. She licked her lips seeing how latched he still was on her cunt. It felt raw feeling her cunt in his mouth, seeing him looking up at her with blown back black eyes. 

She started to move, but he anchored her there in his mouth, moaning in protest. He closed his eye, beginning to kiss and lick her cunt then slowly toward her inner thighs. 

“Aemond . . . please.” She didn’t know what to say after. He was moaning and licking. She felt her face flush as she could feel her arousal leaking from her. “Let me . . .” 

“You are behaving perfectly for me.” He said between kisses on her cunt. “Ride my face again. Just like before.” He moaned into her again. 

“Don’t you want me to ride your cock?” She groaned so sweetly as she nibbled her bottom lip. 

“Fuckin’ temptress.” He groaned, releasing her. “Go on then. Get on it.” 

She pumped her hips a bit over his lips letting his nose tease her clit before maneuvering to where he wanted her. She hovered over his cock. Her hands skated over his toned abs not able to help herself in giving a tone that spoke to her admiration of his body. 

“If you liked how my pussy tasted,” Slowly, ever so slowly she lowered herself despite the impatience that screamed across his features. “You’ll love how it feels.” 

He cried out with her as she sank on him in one quick motion. Her cunt was used to a slow easy stretch that she wanted to test herself to see how she might react if she let his cock in with a singular motion. It felt unexpected, a bit unpleasant, and incredibly satisfying. 

“Gods, you are so full of surprises.” He groaned under her. She saw tears catch at the corner of his eye. He let out a little whimper again. His hands snaked to her hips, so round and canting. “Shit, you feel . . . Gods . . .” She was moving. It was causing him to groan and lose his words. “Please don’t stop.” 

One hand anchored her hip while the other moved to knead her breast. She helped him find the right rhythm of squeezing and brushing his thumb over her nipple which was rapidly hardening under her bra and dress. Her hands caressed his torso wanting so badly to feel him inside and out. Her hand occasionally raked through his long silver hair. 

“So beautiful.” She mumbled. “All mine.” She loved to be a little possessive when it came to the people she loved. Her mouth pulled close to him testing to see if he would let her say those words to him without wanting to turn the tables on her, possess her fully. 

“I’m . . . yours.” He breathed between her kisses. 

It prompted her to ride him hard. It allowed him to curse. He let out words in a language she did not understand. The tone of it sent her out of control. His hands were against the small of her back pushing over her clothes harder against him. She kept kissing him, riding him, and calling out his name. Her body skated past an orgasm. Her hand snaked under the skirt nearly crushed by her own movement. 

She stroked her clit, but he came before she had a chance. 

His softening cock made her whimper. 

He hummed as he let himself fall back on the pillow. 

Aemond pushed her hip slightly, a gesture for her to dismount from him. She suddenly didn’t feel so in control or sexy rolling onto her back beside him. 

“Good?” She wondered nuzzling her nose to his throat. 

“We’ll get there.” He chuckled. His eye watched as her face grew near offensive. “I prefer to have my partner orgasm first, but first times are about learning. You are such an interesting subject. I can’t wait to study what makes you tick further.” He wrapped her in his arms, snuggling her. 

She felt his lips kiss her forehead. 

“Happy New Year, my dear.” He whispered against the shell of her ear. “Let me know when you are ready to go again.” His lips curved against her cheek. She could feel his silver hairs tickle her neck. 

“Ready whenever you are, love. This time I want you to see all of me.” 

The sex was good. 

The sex got better with each passing day. 

Every date ended at her place, in her bed. His appetite for her was nearly all consuming. The little brunette was able to put the Targaryen man in place if he came on too strong. It was rare though. Her hunger for him was just as dark and consuming. 

She had yet to see his place, which bristled her only when her co-workers mentioned it. 

“What’s he hiding over there, huh?” They asked. 

Her mind often wandered of what she truly knew about Aemond Targaryen besides the surface level things she saw or read. She knew he was intelligent, but that was clear seeing him study every day or looking at his various professional profiles online. He was well mannered. He loved to touch her any chance he could get. He desired her openly when they were sitting at a bar or in a restaurant or at the theater. 

She didn’t mind constantly being touched. There was a sweetness in having a needy man at her heels wanting her so badly he’d do just about anything. It felt a bit possessive at times, but when she told him to stop he was very obedient. She suspected being told what to do turned him on. 

Her little dirty talk in the bedroom had kept him coming back for more. Or maybe it was her alone. He made her feel so special. He was beginning to lavish her with gifts besides fancy dinners and mind blowing sex. 

Fuck he ate her out so fuckin good. 

He never gave her a single piece of jewelry. Every gift was thoughtful and exclusive to her. Aemond had her favorite Jane Austen book rebound and custom made. It was etched in a solid gold cover looking like a glorious piece of art. She had nearly cried when he given it to her. Aemond gave her a small custom set of seeds with men he hired taking over her outdoor garden when he saw her reading over how to grow her own food. 

She was waiting until the spring to plant them on her little porch outside her flat, but the landscaping had been a delight.

“He’s too good to be true.” 

The words echoed in her head from her mother, her co-workers, and anyone else who seemed jealous of her happiness. Those little words ticked in her brain every time she felt too happy with her silver haired beau. Her heart pounded at the thought she might lose him to her own inability to take happiness at face value. 

Her fingers still trailed in her overthinking. 

Curiosity itched at her brain, but she refused to let it win out today.

He was taking her to Rook’s Rest, the most exclusive and expensive resturant. On Valentine’s Day no less. She had questioned how he could get in several times. He had simply told her he knew she would love their menu and he wanted nothing but the best for his woman. 

Aemond had started out the day sending a delivery of a dozen perfect roses in a hand blown glass vase that appeared as the open mouth of a dragon. 

He didn’t spend all day at the library instead letting her anticipate his arrival when he picked her up from her flat. 

She wore a long black gown with silver collared jewelry and pearl earrings. 

“The things I am going to do to you tonight . . .” 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time Mr. Targaryen.” 

He did. 

Fuck did he know how to show her a good time. 

Perfect dinner.

Perfect atmosphere. 

Perfect company. 

When he pulled up to the high rise penthouse she was surprised. It was gorgeous, tall, and a bit overwhelming in the moonlight. 

“Let me show you where I live.” 

Her heart pounded as she craned her neck. He pulled her into the elevator finding her lips and hips. He grabbed her, whimpering low and needy. Her toes curled as she perched on her toes. Even though she had heels on she was still so much shorter than him. 

She barely had time to truly take in Aemond’s penthouse. 

She knew that when the elevator opened it was to his entire room. 

Everything else blurred. 

There were certain aspects of the night that stuck in her brain. 

He had put a red ribbon around her throat requesting that was all she wear.

His hand squeezing and spanking her ass. 

His lips eating her out like she was his dessert. 

His cock so hard bending her over the bed as he fucked her from behind. 

His cum flowing against her cheeks. 

It happened over and over again until she wanted to beg him to stop, but didn’t because deep down she felt so incredible. 

She felt his hands grip around her waist in a semi possessive, semi comforting gesture. He nuzzled his nose in the crock of her neck where the ribbon met her skin. The librarian took the opportunity to let her curiosity win out deciding to scroll through her phone. 

Her mind fell down a curiosity hole going over that strange bar on New Year’s Eve. She researched the bar itself learning it had a nefarious history. Since it first opened back in the 70s there had been an insane number of bar fights and alleged murders that occurred both inside and outside of Storm’s End. 

Her fingers halted on the most recent death that had lingered on Halloween night just a bloke away from the bar. 

A stabbing. 

Lucerys Velaryon. 

Aemond Targaryen’s nephew. 

Several articles indicated Aemond Targaryen as a person of interest citing a childhood rivalry and -

Her fingers clicked out of the article. 

She looked over to the man cuddling beside her. 

Did she really know him? 

She blinked away that thought. Her eyes settled onto the room. Her mind noted details. It was dark. The walls were coated black. His bed wasn’t high, but low. It was the easiest bed to get on for her tiny frame. He had no doors in his penthouse. Everything was open including the bathroom. She peeked in from the bed, seeing that instead of a mirror above his sink there was a painting of a beautiful landscape of a dark stormy night over a looming castle on a monstrous island filled with mountains. 

There were no mirrored surfaces. She could even see from here that his kitchen was so bare. She decided to slowly wander over once Aemond entered REM. She felt his little lashes twitch against her backside. Her hips slipped out of his grasp easily though she could feel his exhale of hot breath at her back. 

She ventured into the kitchen, nude and feeling out the rest of the penthouse. The little brunette had suspected his place to be spotless, but she could see now Aemond Targaryen had an organized mess. His books were not on his empty shelves, but instead piled at each side of his love seat. The titles were very much him, textbooks on history, books of maps, of business proposals, and titles on real estate. 

On the counter top in his beautiful kitchen were a smattering of menus. Upon entering she could feel a sense of coldness there. Aemond had never been shy about his lack of cooking skills. Now she could see how truly bare the environment was. He had a smattering of greasy take away menus on the counter, folded and unfolded as if he had looked over them too many times. Each drawer she opened showed her the studio penthouse’s kitchen had never been touched. 

Every utensil had a newness and shine to it that verged on disturbing. In the refrigerator laid takeaway leftovers, a case of beer, and a bottle of overpriced lemonade. In the freezer were microwaves meals, a stockpile as if he were preparing for an apocalypse. They nearly fell atop her when she opened it. 

Her body, nude and slightly vulnerable, moved to the open walk in closet between the kitchen and living room. 

No door. 

No secrets. 

It could be the reason he waited so long to bring her here. 

Aemond Targaryen was a bare mess here. Her eyes faltered to his position in bed. He pulled the expensive silk sheets to his sweaty form. Her feet felt warm on the heated floor. He had bragged about installing it letting her mind wonder what it felt like to wiggle her toes on such warmth. Her hand flicked on the light. 

It wasn’t the contents of the closet that struck her first. 

Those were boring and unremarkable. She had seen his entire wardrobe at this point in their relationship. What she had not seen was the newspaper clippings that pressed firmly against the wall of the closet’s entryway. The articles were of take overs of large corporations from his father. There were articles that mentioned the name Aemond Targaryen, tabloids that talked about the day he lost his eye in a simple minded childhood fight with his nephew, Lucerys. In the middle of it all was a blown up article of the night his nephew died. 

Every mention of Lucerys was underlined in red ink, over and over again. 

He could not forget. 

He could not forgive what was done to him. 

“Naughty little girl.” She felt his weight against her back. His hand played with the bow loops around her neck. “Too curious for your own good. Hmmm . . .” His kiss was sloppy at her throat. Her eyes closed on instinct. 

“Don’t act surprised.” The librarian was constantly looking for more information. The academic was always looking to learn. It’s what made them good together. It’s what made her terrified and aroused as he pinned her against the looming article on the wall. 

“I don’t have to explain myself like some villain. You understand, my dear. You understand what needs to be done to you.” 

There were two options. 

Another article to the wall for discovering what she knew. 

He was responsible for his nephew’s death. 

Or . . .

“You can feel my choice right?” 

His hand snaked between her legs to her soaked sex. 

It didn’t matter what he had done. 

She was too curious to find out more. 

“Sir, the library is closing.” It was a soft tease on a summer Friday. 

Aemond Targaryen looked up from his reading, no more studying. 

Graduation was tomorrow. 

He had on an expensive gold plated eyepatch. His silver dress shirt and pressed pants showed her he was ready for their evening out. Aemond now spent his time reading books she liked. She had given him a list. He was a fast reader and was nearly done with the several titles of what she deemed as classics. He loved talking to her about them, especially the non-fiction ones though there were not enough to his liking. 

Her little mouth still frowned at his short hair, but he had insisted on a shorter look for his graduation. 

A new start he had teased. 

“I’m aware. I just need some assistance with an item.” He let the thick romance book snap closed. 

Gods she hated that he didn’t use a bookmark. 

The words were a beacon for her to follow. Her confidence with him had grown enough that she didn’t sheepishly look around her anymore. She followed him with a small spring in her step. He now was used to looking behind him for her, admiring her long pleated blue skirt and button up that had resewn buttons. 

Aemond Targaryen loved pulling her little buttons off. 

They were in a corner of the library. She instantly aware of why. 

No cameras.

He pushed a metal step stool in the corner, never moving his hands. 

“Up you go.” She obeyed. 

The gesture was unfamiliar, but a fantasy he had spoken so many times. He looked her over for a moment, observing her on the stool. She could nearly hear his heart pounding with desire. They were eye to eye in this position, no longer was she a little meek thing looking up at him. 

“You know what I want.” 

“But it’s more fun if you take it.” Her response made him started to undo his pants. 

The movement was quick as he took his fantasy into reality, fucking her in the corner of the library, no camera, no condoms, just pure desire. It might have taken him a moment or two to get his cock hard, but she barely noticed. She felt his spit coated cock rut inside her perfectly. 

“You know what I’m going to do to you?” It was hardly a whispered question against her ear. 

“I’m going to cum so hard inside you, you’ll be leaking my cum from your pussy until we get home.” He called his house their home even though she hadn’t moved in yet. “Then I’m going to fill you up again tonight and tomorrow and every night until I get bored. But you know I’ll never get bored of you, my dear.” She held back a whimper. 

“Then you’ll move in at the end of the summer. I’ll keep you as my little whore and you’ll continue to be a good little librarian here.” He started to move faster. “I’ll marry you in a year’s time so I’ll truly be yours.” He loved being hers. “Then I’ll fuck this cunt up with baby after baby. I think four would be well within your threshold.” He palmed her belly. The thought of being full of his children made her bite her lip. 

“You’ll be so happy. I’ll be so happy.” He grunted as if the thought of their shared happiness got him close to his orgasm. “I’ll work as a curator at a museum, preferably one with ancient weapons and about history. You’ll remain here, my little personal librarian. A mother. My little perfect wife.” 

She was so close. She whispered his name. 

“You’d like that, my dear. A family, love, discovering new things about each other every day. Would that sate your curious mind?” 

“Yes . . .” It was so soft and wanting of the future, the future he imagined. 

“Milk my cock then. Let it be the start of our future together.” He pounded into her making lewd noises in the corner. 

Her mind felt white as she unraveled around him. 

He gave her what he promised. 

Not only his cum, but the promise of a future of curious behavior and his utter devotion.

[milswrites]

The Bat Boys X Bookworm!Reader

Summary: What the Bat Boys (and Eris & Lucien) are like with their bookworm partners

Warnings: Lil smutty and nsfw (not too much just want to cover myself) so 18+ MDNI

Notes: Just a bit of fun really, it's different to what I usually write but I hope you guys like it!

Rhysand

Rhysand loves you

And if loving you means that he has to feed your obsession with buying books?

Then he would happily clear out all the bookshops in Velaris if it meant getting to see you smile.

Rhysand is rich-rich.

Which means if there's something you want? He'll buy it for you without question.

You once mentioned about how much you'd love your own library one day.

So of course by the end of the week you had your own little haven inside Rhysand's house with more books than you could ever dream of reading and your own little ladder to reach them all.

But he didn't stop there.

For your mating gift he purchased you your very own library in Velaris

In which Rhys may or may not have enacted his fantasies of sleeping with a Librarian.

Whilst Rhysand does like to read, his taste in books is very different to your own.

But even though he doesn't read the books you do, he's more than happy to sit and listen to you talk about your favourite ones for hours if that meant being able to see your eyes light up as you talked about something you loved.

But no books nor libraries could top the best gift he had ever given you.

A hand-written book containing the story of your relationionship.

Complete with crude little comments and drawings the High Lord had scribbled down in the margins.

Rhysand loved history.

So what better way to preserve his undying love for you than in-between the pages of a book which would last forever.

Cassian

Cassian had never been very interested in books.

He'd much rather experience the thrill of real fighting and action in person than spend his time reading about it on some dusty old pages.

In fact the only time Cassian had been in a library he had the terrifying encounter with Bryaxis.

Safe to say that the trauma he experienced was the perfect excuse for never stepping in one again.

Until he met you.

Cassian has always been the type of guy who's all in or nothing.

He discovers the person he has a crush on likes reading?

You know he's going to be walking around with books he's never even opened pretending like he is a well-read Illyrian.

Citing quotes he doesn't even understand just to try and impress you.

And once you're together?

You show Cassian exactly what he's missed out on when it comes to reading.

Especially when it comes to getting tips for your bedroom activities.

For months after you revealed to him the wonders that are smut books, Cassian would spend his free time delving through the pages looking for new ideas on how to spice up your sex life.

Claiming his increased interest in reading was due to 'research purposes'

Cassian is 100% down to roleplay characters from your novels

He loves being the big strong hero to your damsel.

Whenever Cassian catches you reading, happily curled into the comfort of your sofa, he'll approach with a smirk on his lips

"Any new tricks you'd like to try out? I think page 69 is worth a shot."

Azriel

Azriel's a busy guy.

He's always away on missions for Rhysand or working in the dungeons of the Court of Nightmare's

So he can be forgiven if when he comes home, reading is the last thing on his mind.

But what he does enjoy though, is when you read to him.

He can lay with his head in your lap for hours.

Humming along to whatever tale you tell whether it's fantasy, romance or a good thriller

Sometimes he'll even offer his input. Laugh when something especially funny happens or shed a tear whenever a character he likes died.

Azriel loves the sound of your voice

Enjoying the way you put on voices whenever a character is speaking.

He's grown to like the sense of domesticity that he feels whenever you read to him. Allowing himself to imagine you doing this to two little Illyrian babies of your own.

Reading to your wide eyed children as they are gripped by the tales you're telling

Azriel is also a gentleman.

Need a hand with carrying the books you're choosing whilst you shop?

He's there

Hands willingly taking everything you stack on top of him, trailing after you with your selections like a lost puppy.

And when you get to the till?

Azriel had already spoken to the shopkeeper upon entry and added anything you chose to his account. Claiming the books were just as much his as they were yours if you were going to read them to him.

Azriel is definitely the type of male who likes you to read your smut to him as he pleasures you, acting out the words on the page until you're unable to speak anymore, leaving the rest of the chapter to your own imagination.

Eris

Eris is a reader.

He loves nothing more than to settle down after a long day with a good book in hand and a steaming tea.

You can't tell me he doesn't find it the hottest thing ever when he discovers you like to read too

The two of you have your own little book club

You'll each read the same book and then have a little meeting when it's over to discuss what you thought of it.

He can also get really emotional and intense about them.

God knows the amount of times you've had to calm him down when a character has made a choice he didn't like.

I think Eris definitely likes to write too

Not seriously, but it's a good way for him to get his thoughts out and to escape from the day to day of his reality.

And he loves to have you read his work

To see the way your face lights with joy as your eyes flick through his beautiful prose.

A small smile upon his lips at the knowledge that the muse for his writings was you.

Lucien

Lucien also likes to read.

But the way you read?

It terrifies him.

The way you obsess over the characters from your stories.

Your passionate opinions on their decisions and the plots.

God forbid Lucien says something about them that you don't agree with.

Lucien finds you positively feral when it comes to the stories you like.

But that doesn't stop him from wanting to show interest in them too.

Lucien likes to read all your favorite books and leave annotations of his thoughts in the margins.

This was exactly how the two of you had gotten together, the male having gifted you with a copy of a book he had noticed you reading.

The pages filled with scratchy comments and opinions on everything that happened.

Lucien pours his soul into his annotations and you love that.

Lucien is also a poetry man.

He loves to recite verses to you which stick out to him

Sometimes they were romantic, making your heart stop in your chest and breath catch in your throat.

But Lucien was also a fan of satirical poetry

The most ridiculous, corny things you have ever heard.

He'll come find you as you're going about your day and recite his latest read to you - your eyes rolling to the back as you did so, yet you fail to hide the smile which crosses your face every time he does so.

He has also tried to write you poetry before, express the depth of his feelings towards you. Safe to say his lame attempt of a limerick earnt him a scoff and had you hiding all his poetry books from him for the next month.

[johannestevans]

overworked PhD who has been lusting over the stern head librarian for years even BEFORE someone shares into the PhD group chat a video of him doing a video tutorial on safe whipping technique for a local BDSM forum

headphones in in the library, watching a video of him quietly explaining how to rope a harness without cutting off circulation, how to do a quick release tie, and obsessing

PhD who is torn between his need to return every book he takes out the very next day and also his developed fantasy where he doesn't have the 50c late fee on him so the head librarian spanks him

PhD who is really struggling to find one book for research, an illustrated history of sailships, and has been walking up and down the same aisle when he looks up and the librarian is right beside him

jumps a mile and puts his hand over his own mouth to keep from shouting

stares up at him, eyes wide, as the head librarian studies him. completely neutral face, but he's so Big and Tall and inwardly the PhD is really trying to repress the inner monologue that says "raw me raw me raw me raw me" Just In Case the librarian can read minds

the head librarian reaches for him and he's so distracted he actually LIFTS HIS CHIN so that the librarian can get a better grip on his throat, but the librarian just raises an eyebrow, tilts the PhD's tablet screen toward him, and says "oversized."

reaches up to the top shelf (he doesn't even need a stool! he's barely even on tip toes!) and pushes one of the huge oversized books off the shelf so that it drops into his hand, hands it to the PhD

"Thank you," whispers the PhD.

"Beg pardon?" is the response.

"Thank you," he says, little louder.

The librarian's eyes are boring into his and he feels like he might just drop.

"Thank you, what?"

The PhD stares. he's aware he's so red he must resemble one of the leather book jackets behind him

"Thank you… sir?" he attempts, his voice pitched somewhere high enough to touch stars, and the librarian smiles at him. it's a close-lipped smile, visibly pleased, comes with a neat nod of the head that makes the PhD exhale with relief and delight at having pleased

he feels like he's walking on clouds when he goes back to his desk, and when he looks back and the librarian isn't there anymore, he wonders if he just imagined it

[the-bar-sinister]

how can I improve my media literacy? I feel so stupid

You are not stupid! Developing media literacy takes work and effort and mental exercise, and just knowing that it's important and wanting to improve makes you a smart person in my opinion.

I'm no teacher, and I think one of the best things you could do if you wanted to improve your media literacy seriously would be to go to your local library and ask the librarian where to find books on media analysis and/or college level literature textbooks.

But beyond that, here's some general tips.

(I am going to say "reading" and "books" here, but these tips apply to all forms of media as well, film, video game, etc.)

Read books that challenge your reading comprehension.

Read books that have words you don't recognize and have to look up. Read books that are written with dense prose that you have to read slowly to take in.

Read books that challenge you emotionally.

Read books about subjects that make you uncomfortable. Read books from the perspective of people who you disagree with.

Stop and think about what you're reading.

Think deeply about what the author is trying to say, not just on the surface but subtextually. Think about word choice, think about writing decisions. Think about the character motivations. Think about the author's motivations. 

Consider the context and metatext.

When you're reading something, think about the context it was written in. Do research about the author and their life. Do research about the time and place the book was written in, and try to link the information that you find to the material in what you're reading.

Write about what you're reading.

Stop and do a reflection after you've read something. Maybe look up a worksheet of general reading comprehension questions online and answer them. Take the time to write about what you were reading, how it made you feel and what you think it was trying to say. Taking time to write like this helps you process what you've taken in and understood it.

As I said at the beginning, media literacy takes work! I hope that some of this can be helpful to you as you flex your muscles ^^

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Between the Lines - Professor!Ari Levinson x Librarian!Reader

A/N: Massive shout out to @precious1610 who essentially was my co-author for this oneshot, you came up with some brilliant lines and ideas for this and I can't thank you enough! 

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: Fluff! Professor Ari (he needs a warning because damn)! Sexual Harassment and Assult (not by Ari!)! Language! SMUT! 18+ ONLY! Minors DNI!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist

Between the Lines

You always looked forward to the new academic year. After weeks of the campus being quiet with only researching staff around, the liveliness of the new and returning cohorts of students always brought the campus back to life.

Another reason you enjoyed the new academic year was that Professor Levinson would be back. He often spent most of his summer in various different countries volunteering at refugee camps, providing aid during humanitarian crises. 

You’d look forward to the stories of his days off, the people he’d met and the landmarks he'd seen. He’d often bring back a little souvenir for you too, last time it was a pair of velvet slippers because ‘the library can get cold’ he said.

You missed him dearly over the summer break, which was somewhat ridiculous because he was just the professor that you had a helpless crush on. At least the gifts he brought you said he thought of you at least for just a moment while he was away.

Even if it was a hopeless crush that didn’t stop you from putting in a bit more effort on Thursdays. The day he’d always come in after lunchtime to return any books and take out more for the next week's lectures.

You were sat at your desk, scanning through the returned books when he finally walked in. You couldn’t help but smile when he walked over, he looked incredible in his blue sweater and brown suit. The look completed with a pair of glasses which were a recent addition over the last year. It was no surprise almost every girl on campus had a thing for him. His international politics class was one of the most popular.

“Hi, did you have a nice summer?” He asked as he reached your desk.

“Very good, how was yours?” You smiled up at him.

“Rewarding” he smiled before nodding down to your book “How many of those did you read?” 

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks “Lots” you admitted with a bashful smile “lots of free time during the summer break, while you were travelling the world I was travelling the universe” 

Ari gave you a lopsided smile “Sounds incredible, speaking of travelling” he reached into his pocket “I got you a little something” he held out a tiny pouch.

“Professor Levinson you didn’t have to”  your voice soft as you took the small pouch.

“I’ve told you many times to call me Ari” he reminded you “and I wanted to”

You smiled as you opened up the pouch and gently tipped out its contents, a small silver token falling out into your palm.

“It’s a medallion that wards off evil” Ari explained as he leaned against your desk with a lopsided smile. 

“It’s incredible, there’s so much detail” you muttered in amazement, admiring the small medallion. 

“I thought you could use it to ward off people who talk too loud or eat loud snacks” Ari smirked making you chuckle.

“I love it thank you” You smiled, if you could you’d get up and cup his cheek and kiss him, you’d just have to settle with your imagination. 

“It’s nothing, anything for my favourite librarian” he winked “Need a hand putting any of these away?” he nodded over to the large collection of returned books.

“I think a few of these are top-shelf books,” you said pointing to the trolley to which you had been adding books too. 

“On it” Ari smiled, moving to grab the trolley.

“Thank you Ari” you said as you got up to follow him.

“Do you not trust me to put them back in the right places?” he smirked over his shoulder at you as you both walked through the bookcases.

“no…I trust you” you said slowly.

Ari snorted “That means no” he chuckled “After all the times I’ve helped you do this, you’d think you’d trust me by now” 

“I do trust you” you laughed “I just…” you trailed off trying to find a reason you could actually say out loud. In truth, you just wanted to make the most of any time together.

“You’re just protective of your library, I get it” Ari smiled reassuringly as he lifted a heavy book onto the top shelf. 

“Yes… protective” you muttered unable to take your eyes off his biceps, even underneath the suit you could see how impressive they were. 

Ari smiled back at you breaking you from your trance. You cleared your throat before grabbing a book from the trolley and turning to put it away, subtly fanning yourself as you did so.

For the next half an hour Ari helped you put the books back on the shelves, he even reorganised an entire shelf when you complained that it was all out of order. You were just walking back to the desk when Ari paused and turned to face you.

“What are you doing Saturday afternoon?” He asked.

“Oh um, nothing I think” you stuttered trying to recall if you had any plans, which was pretty pointless because you rarely did.

“How about we go grab coffee?” He suggested a lopsided smile on his face.

“What like a-“ you squeaked blinking in surprise.

Ari grinned “Yes like a date” he finished for you.

You couldn’t stop stuttering, your mind short-circuiting as you tried to comprehend what was happening. 

“Did a book fall on my head” you muttered to yourself, only realising you’d done so when Ari barked out a loud laugh “Shhh” you chastised on instinct.

Ari covered his mouth with his hand, delight clear in his eyes as he continued to laugh but quietly this time. You covered your face with your hands feeling utterly embarrassed at your outburst.

“Oh god,” you groaned quietly.

Ari chuckled as he wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled your hands from your face, his smile widening when he saw you were pouting. He shifted his hold on your wrists so he was holding your hands, his thumbs stroking your palms.

“No you haven’t hit your head, this is really happening,” he said softly ��is that really so hard to believe?”

You quietly scoffed “Yes, I mean you’re you and I’m me” you admitted shaking your head.

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he said before leaning in to whisper “If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t be asking you out”

“Ari” you whispered in disbelief.

“And if you’ll join me for coffee I’ll tell you all the other reasons I’ve wanted to ask you out” he grinned.

You smiled bashfully, looking down at the floor “If I say yes, will you tell me one of the reasons now?” You asked looking back up at him.

Ari smirked “That pencil skirt and those knee-high boots to start” he said nodding down to your boots “So is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes” you grinned.

“Great” he smiled leaning in to kiss your cheek “I have to go teach now but I’ll see you Saturday”

“See you Saturday” you smiled watching him go.

You were frozen to the spot for a few moments still not entirely convinced that he’d actually asked you out and your crush wasn’t so hopeless. You eventually managed to get back to your desk, a smile on your face as you got back to work.

It was about an hour later when a shadow covered you. You were excited thinking that Ari had come back to talk to you again after his lecture but your smile faltered when you saw who it was.

“Hey sunshine,” Coach Hansen said as he leaned against the desk, lollipop in his mouth “How was your summer?”

“Nice,” you said forcing a smile “How about you Coach Hansen?” You asked to be polite.

“Call my Lloyd” he grinned “great, looking forward to the season, you’ll come and watch the games right? You can be my good luck charm” he winked.

You tried your hardest not to shudder in disgust “Oh um I’m not sure I’ll have to check my diary, I think I’m usually busy on game days” you lied.

“I’m sure I could convince you to find the time” he grinned leaning in closer.

You laughed awkwardly as you pushed your chair back and stood up to try and put some distance between the two of you “Guess we’ll see” you chuckled “Um do excuse me but I have some repairs to do in the office, you’d think college students would know how to treat books” you said stepping away “see you around” you added as you slipped into your office, shut and locked the door behind you. 

You leaned against the door and let out the shudder that you had been holding in. Coach Hansen was the most disgusting man you’d ever met, Assistant Coach Pete Brennan coming in a close second. You’d heard rumours that Hansen had slept with multiple cheerleaders throughout the years. Why some of the most popular girls would sleep with him was beyond you. 

You grabbed the hand sanitiser that was on your desk, squeezing a decent amount onto your hands. Lloyd hadn’t touched you but it made you feel cleaner. Just an encounter with Lloyd made you feel gross.

You sat down at your desk with a heavy sigh, it had been a rollercoaster of a day. But on the plus side, you had a date with Ari. The thought of that alone was enough to bring a smile back to your face. You had to think about what to wear, something that went well with your boots you thought.

It had been a couple of weeks since his date with you and Ari felt incredible. He hadn’t realised his feelings for you until the summer. He’d been walking through the market with one of his volunteer friends, Sam, he’d just found the small medallion when Sam snorted and shook his head.

“For your librarian friend?” Sam had chuckled.

“She would love it” Ari explained as he paid for it.

“Have you asked her out yet?” Sam asked as they walked to the next stall.

Ari frowned “No, she’s a friend” he’d said even if it felt wrong to call you just a friend.

Sam had laughed and shook his head “Who knew a college professor could be so stupid” he said as he walked away leaving Ari dumbfounded.

For the rest of the day, Ari had replayed that conversation before he finally came to the realisation that he had feelings for you. That he’d had feelings for you for a while now. If he wasn’t halfway across the world he would have gone straight to you and asked you out.

He was so glad you’d said yes, he’d found it so adorable how flustered you got. You were a little flustered on the date but Ari made sure to put you at ease and soon enough the side he absolutely loved about you. The sweet and a little cheeky side. 

His favourite part was when you both left the coffee shop. It had been unseasonably cold for a September afternoon and he could see you shivering. So he took off the blue jacket he wore and draped it over your shoulders. You smiled up at him, the jacket almost swallowing you up as you wrapped it around yourself more. It was the cutest sight ever.

He now found any opportunity to visit you in the library. When he walked in you weren’t at the front desk, he checked your office but you weren’t in there either. He noticed that the book return trolley was missing meaning you were out putting books back on shelves.

He started walking through the library trying to find you. He eventually found you in a far corner, his blood boiling at the sight. You had your back pressed against the bookcase as the sleazeball Coach Hansen crowded against you. Ari couldn’t instantly see how uncomfortable you were even though you were forcing a smile.

He cleared his throat loudly to interrupt. Lloyd looked over and rose to his full height allowing you to sidestep away from him.

“Professor Levinson” Lloyd greeted him with a lopsided smirk.

“Coach Hansen, are you lost? The picture books are at the public library across town, I think they have sticker books too” Ari said as he walked over, fists clenched down by his sides, he then turned his attention to you “Are the books I requested ready to collect, I need them for my lecture in half an hour” he didn’t have any more lectures today, he knew you’d know that and hopefully took the out he was giving you.

You blinked a couple of times “Oh, not quite I’ll um go get the last of them now” you muttered before shuffling past him and back towards the front desk.

“I think you have somewhere else to be don’t you Coach Hansen?” He asked turning his attention back to the sleaze ball.

Lloyd ran his tongue over his teeth as he studied Ari “Somewhere more interesting that’s for sure” he said before turning and leaving.

Ari followed behind him just to make sure that Lloyd actually left the library. You weren’t at the front desk but he spotted you peaking through the blinds in your office. 

Once he was satisfied that Lloyd had gone he walked over to the office door and gently rapped his knuckles against the wood. He pushed the door open slowly when he heard you answer. He found you perched on the edge of your desk rubbing your hands, the faint smell of hand sanitiser lingering in the air.

He closed the distance between you, his hand moving to brush hair out of your face and cup your cheek but he stopped himself short. You might not want anyone to touch you right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly.

You took in a deep breath before nodding as you breathed back out “Fine, just feel a little grossed out, nothing out of the ordinary” you admitted.

Ari’s brows furrowed “This has happened before?”

You gave him a weak shrug of your shoulders “Kinda, usually, I’m at the front desk so I have that barrier” you said gesturing in front of you “Today was the first time he’s found me between the cases” 

Ari shook his head in disbelief “Why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

You scoffed and stepped away from him, crossing your arms as you moved to the far corner of the office. When you turned back to face him you hit him with a hard look.

“Seriously? That’s the worst thing I could do with a man like him, you think he’ll take my no as an answer?” You scoffed “The safest thing I can do is be nice and polite and hope to god that nothing happens, that he gets bored and moves on” you exclaimed gesturing with a clenched fist towards the door “And if he doesn’t I just have to pray that I can find not only the ability to fight back but win… and I know it’s wrong but that’s just reality!”

Silence fell in the room. Ari stood there and watched as you breathed heavily. He’d fucked up and he knew that, even if part of him was pretty impressed at how you put him in his place.

“You’re right, I’m sorry” he apologised holding his hands up in surrender as he took a couple of steps closer “That was very male of me to say that” he added with the smallest of smirks.

You pursed your lips before letting out a small chuckle “Yes it was” 

Ari smiled softly as he walked closer to you again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry this is the reality you have to live in” he said before his brows furrowed in concern “You’ve never felt like that with me have you?”

You quickly shook your head, stepping closer to close the distance your hands resting on his biceps “No, god no” you told him “You’ve never made me uncomfortable”

“Good, and if I ever do just put me back in my place like you just did” he smirked.

You bit your lower lip “I’m sorry” you said with a slight wince.

“No don’t apologise, it was actually kinda sexy” Ari whispered as he leant in

Your smile turned bashful as you looked up at him. He smiled back down at you as he moved to cup your cheeks with both hands, his thumb gently stroking the apples of your cheeks. Your head tilted into his touch, your eyes shining as you looked up at him.

“How do you feel now?” he asked softly.

“Much better thank you”

“Good, and I promise nothing like that is gonna happen again, I’ll make sure of it” he swore “I’ll be here when you finish tonight to walk you to your car and text me if he comes back before then”

“Okay I will, thank you Ari,” you said with a grateful sigh.

“It's nothing, sweetheart” he smiled before leaning down to capture your lips in his. 

He started gently just to make sure you were okay with it but as soon he felt you melt into his touch he let go of his restraint and deepened the kiss. From the moment he finally got to kiss you on your first coffee date he knew he was a goner. With every kiss since, every time he got to hold you, be close with you he fell harder and deeper for you.

If he could, he’d stay here with you forever but he had something he needed to do “I have office hours soon so I need to head off” he said softly as he rested his forehead against yours. 

“That’s okay, I’ll see you later” you smiled, running your hands over his biceps.

“See you later” he smiled, pecking your lips once more before making his way out of your office.

When he stepped out of the library instead of turning towards his building, he turned in the opposite direction. Towards the football field and training facilities. He found Lloyd in his office talking to his assistant coach, Pete Brenner, lollipop in his mouth as he chuckled. 

“Professor Levinson” Lloyd smirked when Ari walked in “Are you a little lost?” he asked with a condescending tone, throwing Ari’s words back at him. 

Ari instantly saw red. He surged forward, pinning Lloyd to the nearest wall, fist gripping the mustard polo collar Hansen wore. 

“What the shit!” Pete exclaimed, shooting up from his seat, while Lloyd just laughed.

“Sit” Ari hissed over his shoulder at Pete who instantly did what he said like an obedient dog.

“It’s cool Brenner” Lloyd smirked “Let him have his moment”

Ari growled in response, shoving him back against the wall again “Don’t push me”

Lloyds just laughed “Oh c’mon pumpkin,” he said shaking his head “What are you gonna do? Strangle me with boredom? Talk me to death? You academic lot are so funny” he tilted his head with a condescending look. 

“You go near her again and you’ll find out exactly what I can do to you” Ari warned.

“Aw, you got a little crush on my little librarian?” Lloyd grinned. 

Ari shifted his grip, his fingers wrapping around Lloyd's throat. Lloyd only looked more excited, a wolfish grin growing.

“She’s not your property and never will be” Ari said, squeezing his grip slightly for good measure. 

Lloyd didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes studying Ari “Warning taken” he finally said. 

Ari wasn’t entirely convinced but took a couple of steps back, letting go of Lloyd. Lloyd shrugged and straightened out his polo before regarding Ari with a look.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked “trying to cause more of a scene? I don’t think Y/N would like that”

Ari clenched his fists and resisted the urge to punch Lloyd right there and then but the sick bastard was right. If you knew Ari had caused this scene you would hate it. You probably wouldn’t want to see him anymore and he’d lose the best thing he’s ever had.

“Stay away from her” he reiterated harshly, pointing over to Lloyd who held his hands up in surrender a smirk playing on his lips. 

Ari turned, shooting a glare at Pete who shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He stormed out of the office, the door slamming so hard that it rattled behind him. 

The past couple of months had been the best of your life and it was all thanks to Ari. As the weather got colder you got excited to celebrate the holiday season with him. You’d already had a lot of fun with him at Halloween and Thanksgiving, he’d dressed up as Indiana Jones and you went as Marion. He looked incredible as Indy, you really had to try hard to keep your hands to yourself at the faculty party. You did have a lot of fun with the whip afterwards though. 

Much to your relief too, Lloyd had kept away from the library and you. That short interaction between him and Ari in the library had clearly sent enough of a message that you were taken. 

Ari had been the sweetest too, he’d meet you whenever you finished work to walk you to your car or pick you up to take you back to his place. He visited the library more and helped out whenever he could. You joked that you should get him an assistant librarian badge. 

It was Friday evening and you were working late. A large delivery had arrived ready for the new semester in January and you wanted to get them all sorted before the Christmas break. Ari had agreed to help out, bringing snacks and keeping you company. 

It was taking a little longer than you expected because you kept getting distracted by Ari. he was wearing a deep green button-up sweater which hugged his arms deliciously, especially when pushed the sleeves up to his elbows. 

He’d definitely caught you checking him out if the smirk on his lips was anything to go by. But when he’d lift heavy books up onto the top shelves you couldn’t help but stare, you were only human after all. 

You shook your head to try and clear it so you could focus on the job at hand. You turned away from him and crouched down to put away some books on the lower shelves. When you stood back up you were surprised to find Ari stood behind you, his hands resting on your hips. 

“Ari” you muttered as you looked over your shoulder at him. 

“Y/N” he smirked as he pressed a kiss to your neck, pulling your hips back so you could feel that it wasn’t just you who was getting distracted. 

“Ari” you sighed as you melted back onto him “We can’t, not here” you muttered as he continued to kiss your neck, one hand moving up to your breast. 

“Sure we can” he murmured “It's late, no one else is here” 

You could feel your resolve weakening “We should at least go to my office then” you suggested. 

“No we don’t” he smirked as his other hand moved from your hip to your covered core, tugging you back towards him “This sort of thing is in the books you read and I know how much you love them”

You blinked a couple of times in surprise as you turned around to face him “How did you know that?” 

Ari gives you a lopsided grin “I’ve read them” he answered.

“You read them” you repeated in disbelief. 

“Of course, they’re something you love” he explained with a casual shrug of his shoulders “I want to know as much as I can about you… get some ideas… make sure you’re satisfied” he smirked. 

“Ari,” you said softly, shaking your head in disbelief, you couldn’t believe how incredible he was. 

“So what do you say?” he smirked, “are you gonna let me worship you in your temple?”

You nibbled your lower lip and nodded, you could never say no to him. 

“Good, now make sure you stay quiet” he smirked as he sunk down to his knees “We are in a library after all” 

You let out a shuddered breath of anticipation when his hands slipped under your skirt to pull down your underwear. Once he tucked them into his back pocket his hand wrapped around the back of your knee and lifted it. He pressed a kiss to the exposed skin just above your knee-high boots. He hooked your leg over his shoulder as he pressed kisses up your thighs, his head disappearing underneath your skirt.

You cupped a hand over your mouth to silence yourself when his lips finally found your core, his quiet moan vibrating against you when he discovered how wet you were for him already. Your other hand found the back of his head, your fingers weaving through his long, soft locks. 

His beard scratched against your thighs as he feasted. He knew your body so well now that not even the perfect world of fiction could compare. He made your legs so weak that if he wasn’t propping you up, you’d be on the floor.

The feeling of him between your legs was like heaven, especially when he’d tease your clit. You wanted to stay in this moment forever, you also wanted him inside you, and you wanted to reach your peak. 

“Ari” you whimpered, your fingers gripping his hair tightly.

You felt him smirk against you before diving back in. Except this time his lips wrapped around your clit and he slipped two thick fingers inside you. You had to bite your fist to stop yourself from screaming, especially when his fingers curled against that golden spot and fireworks exploded as you hit your peak.

Ari worked you through the waves of your orgasm, prolonging to the point that the entire world melted away. You hadn’t even noticed him rising to his full height until he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply, the taste of you on his lips. 

“You’re doing so well keeping quiet” he murmured against your lips.

The kiss brought you back to life, energy surging through like electricity. Your hands quickly found his belt buckle and pushed down his deep green trousers enough to free him. You wrapped your fingers around him and pumped him a couple of times. Just the weight and feel of him in your hands made your core ache for him.

It was like Ari had read your mind because he hooked his hands under your thighs at the same time that you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to climb him like a tree. You buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your moan when he entered you.

Neither of you moved once he was fully seated inside you. You only breathed deeply as you took in the feeling of him filling you up completely. It was a feeling you never wanted to get used to and one you hoped you’d always have. 

Soon enough you felt the overwhelming urge for movement, you turned your head to press kisses to his neck just below the ear “Move” you whispered pleadingly.

Ari chuckled softly “Anything for you” he said before thrusting up into you.

He started slowly but soon worked up to a fiercer pace. You clung onto him tightly, rolling your hips to meet his. You bit your lower lip to hold back your loud moan but you couldn’t stop the small gasps that escaped. It would be impossible for anyone to be silent when with Ari.

Your head tilted back against the bookcase, which Ari took advantage of as he pressed wet kisses to your neck and collarbone. You felt and heard books tumble to the floor but you didn’t care, you couldn’t care about anything except how great you felt.

You could feel your orgasm building and before you could even say anything it crashed over you and you couldn’t even think let alone speak. It felt like you ascended to a whole new plane of existence, Ari joining you shortly after as he hit his own peak.

Ari held you close as you came down from your mind-blowing high. His large hand cradled the back of your head as you nuzzled your head back into the crook of his neck.

“Can you stand?” Ari asked softly after a few moments.

You nodded “I think so” you muttered, still catching your breath.

Ari gave you a lopsided smile before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He held onto you as he pulled out of you, a whimper falling from your lips at the emptiness. You leant back against the bookcase, feeling his spend slowly spreading down your thighs. 

You watched as Ari picked up the fallen books with his clean hand and returned them to the nearby trolley to be reorganised later. When he returned to you he slipped his other hand back under your skirt. He smirked down at you as he collected the combined juices of your and his release, spreading it back up to your core.

“Let’s get you back to your office to get cleaned up” he murmured as he kissed you.

A couple of hours later you and Ari called it a night. There were still lots of books to sort through but you were both tired and just wanted to head back to his place to relax.

You were walking into the parking lot when Ari paused and cursed under his breath “I forgot to grab something from my office” he muttered glancing over his shoulder in the direction of his building.

“That’s fine,” you said wrapping your jacket around your tighter, it was a pretty cold December night, as you turned to go with him.

“It’s fine, you go get in the car,” he said passing you the keys “Get the heater going and lock the doors, I won’t be long” he promised.

“Okay see you in a second” you said as you started to make your way towards the car. Ari jogged off in the opposite direction towards his office.

Ari had parked under a street lamp but it was barely working. Flicking on and off periodically. You weren’t worried about it though, Ari had already seen to the campus sleaze.

You reached the car with no problem but as you reached for the handle you heard someone and your blood ran cold.

“Hey sugarplum what you doing out so late?” Lloyd said.

You quickly turned around to find him stood much closer than you thought. It was like he materialised out of the shadows and just the mere thought of him had summoned him like a demon.

“Large delivery, but heading home now,” you said gesturing to the car behind you.

“So soon? I’ve not seen you around in a while, maybe we should catch up” he smiled as he closed the distance between you, backing you against the car.

“Oh um well it’s late, uh maybe another time? I’m pretty tired” you stuttered as you leaned back to create some distance.

An evil smirk grew on his face “Tired or bored? I bet you’re bored to tears hanging out with that dull professor” he said “but don’t you worry, I can show you a good time”

His hands gripped your hips and you stopped breathing. Ari had kept hold of your underwear after cleaning you up, it was something that excited you at the time but now you regretted it. You didn’t want to think what Lloyd would do if he discovered you weren’t wearing underwear.

“Oh no thanks, I’m very happy as I am,” you said, your voice wobbling.

Lloyd smirked as he leant in to whisper in your ear “I don’t think that’s true”

Your entire body froze, eyes screwed shut when he pressed a disgustingly wet kiss below your ear. You whimpered but he just took that as a sign to carry on. He gripped you tighter, forcing his growing bulge against your stomach and kept kissing your neck.

“You like that now don’t-“ he started but he didn’t finish as suddenly he was gone.

You opened your eyes to discover Lloyd on the floor, Ari stood between the two of you “I told you to stay away” Ari growled, his fists clenched down by his sides.

Lloyd just laughed as he pushed himself to his feet “Please, she doesn’t want you, she wants me even if she doesn’t know it yet, I can read between the lines” he said before glancing around Ari to look at you “isn’t that right sugarplum?”

Ari snapped and surged forward, his fist connecting with Lloyd’s jaw. Lloyd stumbled back, the smirk disappearing and replaced by fury as Lloyd swung back and punched Ari.

You gasped in shock, hands covering your mouth as the two men brawled in front of you. It was a blur of punches and for a moment you couldn’t work out who was winning. This was a side of Ari you had never seen before. To your relief Ari got the upper hand, landing a hard punch to the side of Lloyd’s head causing him to stumble. Ari took advantage of his disorientation and grabbed his shoulders and threw him to the floor, pinning him down and shoving Lloyd’s face into the asphalt. 

At that exact moment campus security finally appeared and rushed over “What’s going on here?” One of them demanded.

“Coach Hansen was sexually assaulting Miss Y/L/N“ Ari said keeping Lloyd pinned down even though he wasn’t fighting anymore.

“Is that correct miss?” The security guard said, you tore your eyes away from Ari and Lloyd and looked over to the guards, barely being able to bring yourself to nod in response “Okay, we’ll take it from here” he said. 

Ari finally climbed off of Lloyd to let the security cuff him and pull him to his feet. You gasped quietly when you saw just how beaten and bloodied he was, how much Ari had beaten the crap out of him.

“Would you like us to report this to the police on your behalf?” The other guard asked you.

“I uh yes please” you muttered weakly.

“We’ll be in my office when they arrive” Ari told them before finally turning to face you.

Your heart stopped for a moment when you saw his split lip and brow. He didn’t look as bad as Lloyd but it was still difficult to see.

“Let’s go sweetheart” he said softly as he wrapped his arm around you to guide you away from Lloyd and to his office.

The entire walk to your office all you could hear was buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt numb. You hadn’t even realised you were in his office until he sat you down in his brown leather office chair. You blinked a couple of times and looked over at him as grabbed a first aid box from the far corner.

The sudden urge to take care of him took precedence over how you were feeling “Let me” you said standing up and taking the kit from him.

“Sweetheart-“ Ari protested.

“Ari please” you pleaded.

You needed this right now, you needed to look after him, you needed the distraction.

“Okay” he relented softly, he moved to perch on the edge of his desk.

You grabbed what you needed before standing in between his legs to clean up his cuts. He didn’t even wince as you did so, he just looked defeated as he watched you work. 

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly drawing your eyes to his.

You took a deep breath “I don’t know” you admitted. 

Ari sighed “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I just saw him crowding you and I-I snapped” he apologised.

“No, don’t apologise I’m glad you did that, if you hadn’t been there I…” you trailed off, you didn’t need to think too hard about what would have happened.

“It’s my fault I shouldn’t have left you alone, I should have known that he wouldn’t have left you alone after I-“ he said before silencing himself.

“After you what?” You asked, brows furrowing.

“Threatened him and told him to stay away” he sighed dropping his head.

“Ari” you muttered in disbelief.

“I know it’s stupid I know but after I caught him in the library and saw how upset it made you I knew I had to say and do something,” he said shaking his head “Nobody gets away with making the people I love uncom-“

“Love?” You interrupted, your jaw dropping in shock.

The corners of his lips twitch upwards “Yeah” he said softly “it may have taken me far too long to realise my feelings for you but once I did I fell hard. I love you Y/N”

You let out a watery chuckle and smiled at him “I love you too” you said pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Ari smiled into the kiss as he cupped the back of your head to keep you there “How do you feel now?” He asked after a moment.

“Better” you smiled softly “I know I probably haven’t processed what happened yet and I don’t know how I’ll feel when I do” you sighed “but I know I have you so that doesn’t scare me”

“Good, and I’ll be right there beside you I won’t let anything like this happen again” Ari promised as he cupped your cheeks.

“Thank you Ari” you smiled.

“Anything for you sweetheart” he smiled before kissing you deeply once more. 

The feeling of his protection enveloped you. You knew that difficult days were ahead of you but with Ari by your side, you knew you could not only face it, but survive it.

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Masterlist

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[elspethdekarios]

Writing Prompt -

Gale and Elspeth are in the Great Library doing their own research and trying to ignore each other - They have had a bit of a falling out, and are giving each other they silent treatment until the other apologises.

aaaaaand what if they fucked afterwards?

Alright alright I see you. Enjoy 💖

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Pairing: Gale x Female Tav (named)

Word count: 2038

Rating: NSFW!!! 🔞

Warnings: PiV sex, angst, angry sex, makeup sex

The air was heavy in the grand library in the Temple of Oghma, perhaps because of the incense permeating from the main floor below, or perhaps because of the tension between Gale and Elspeth. Beams of afternoon sun shone through the windows, illuminating dust and particles floating about. Gale stood by the wall, alternating between propping his book up on a nearby shelf and pacing with it in his hands. Every few minutes, he’d let out a huff to blow the stray strands of hair out of his eyes, increasingly agitated at its unruliness. He found himself fidgeting with the book’s pages or absentmindedly combing through his beard, distracted not by thought, but emotion. He had read the same page three times now and retained none of it.

Elspeth emerged from the towering rows with two antique books, purposefully strutting past Gale, robes swishing behind her, as she sat at a desk facing away from him. She refused to make eye contact until he apologized for how he acted that morning. Their usual end-of-tenday morning walk to the library was marked by silence and rigid hand-holding–no discussion of the day’s plans or playful banter. Occasionally one of them would remark on something happening around them, the other only responding with a firm “hm.” 

A few other patrons were scattered throughout the library’s halls, the only sounds those of pages flipping and the occasional cough. The librarian, an aged devotee of Oghma, sat at her usual high desk, spectacles sitting on the very tip of her nose as she wrote in a ledger. She did not ever engage in small talk with the library’s patrons, but the few times Gale or Elspeth needed help finding a particular book, her stern mouth would curl into a smile and she’d speak in excited whispers about the library’s collection. She often greeted them with a head nod, and sometimes a quiet “Mr. and Mrs. Dekarios.”

Elspeth kept her head down, trying to scan the book’s pages for any mentions of infernal machinery, but words were foreign symbols on parchment to her, jumbled and meaningless. Her thoughts kept snapping back to Gale. She unpacked a quill and began to take notes, hoping the motion might help her stay focused. But her parchment remained mostly blank, and when she heard Gale shutting his book behind her, she slumped back in her chair, frustrated with the lack of progress. Frustrated, still, with him.

After an hour in the library, Gale had successfully read four pages of the newest published studies on time-altering illusion spells–next week’s lesson for his advanced students. He couldn’t force himself through it any longer. He approached El, admiring the way her shiny, platinum hair reflected the sunlight, forgetting for a moment that he was angry with her. He resisted the natural urge to touch her–to massage her tense shoulders or lift her chin up for a kiss. She was incredibly stubborn, that much he knew, but she owed him an apology. And no matter how badly he wanted to feel her near him, he would wait for that apology.

“Are you checking those out?” he asked as he stood next to the desk, gesturing to the books. She only nodded and slid them on top of the large tome Gale held in his arms. Gale brought their books to  the main desk and the librarian stamped a magical glyph on the inside of each book’s cover. He returned to El, handing her the two small books she had selected.

“Surprised you trust me with books at all anymore,” she mumbled as she slid them into her bag. “But these aren’t your books, so I suppose it’s different.”

“Yes, El, it is different.” His voice, though a normal volume, sliced through the quiet library, earning him a few stares and a “shush” from the librarian. “It is different,” he repeated, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Presumably you won’t throw them out with the bathwater.”

“I hardly threw it out, Gale!”

“Shh!” came from the librarian’s desk and somewhere further away in the room.

“What do you call it, then?” Gale whisper-shouted.

“I call it ‘donating-books-to-an-orphanage,’ as a matter of fact,” she whispered back.

“Well now you’re just making me sound like an asshole.”

“You’re being one.” El shoved her belongings into the bag and turned heel, Gale matching her stride.

“El–let’s just go to the orphanage and ask for it back. We can forget this little spat of ours, get the book back–no harm done.”

“I am not–”

“Mr. and Mrs. Dekarios.” The librarian appeared before them, short and slender, pointed ears peaking through her silvered hair. “You would do well to remember that this is a library. If you must argue, then I must ask you to leave the Temple. You’ll be most welcome once you can follow the rules again.

Gale and Elspeth marched down the stairs and through the Temple in silence. Once outside and out of earshot of the priests, El turned to her husband, his windswept hair and the peak of collarbone through his robes almost making her forget their quarrel. She pushed the thoughts aside as Gale began crossing the street to Blackstaff Tower, motioning her to follow.

“I am not walking into an orphanage and demanding part of my donation back, Gale! Do you hear yourself?”

“I have no desire to take anything away from an orphaned child,” he said, pushing open the heavy oak doors. “But it’s one book–a book most likely too advanced to be of use to them. And I didn’t give you permission to donate it!”

“You gave me permission to donate the stack collecting dust in the cellar.”

“Yes, because they’re children’s books–I didn’t realize my first edition copy of Abjuration Accolades Through the Ages was on top!”

“That’s not my fault!” 

El followed Gale up the spiraling stone staircase, the building noticeably quiet as their voices and footsteps echoed. Out of breath, they reached Gale’s office.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” El lamented, trying to catch her breath. Her eyes were remorseful as she looked at him, silently begging for this feud to be over, but refusing to be the one to apologize. “You should have checked the stack first before agreeing.”

With a quick wave of his hand, Gale’s office door shut and locked itself. He stepped forward to where Elspeth leaned against the side of his desk, sliding one hand around her waist and using the other to push her hair away from her neck, baring the flesh for him to trail breathy, warm kisses from collar to ear. 

“Gale, we–we’re–” she began to protest, to remind him that they were still arguing. But she melted at his mouth on her skin, the scent of sandalwood dabbed behind his ears so close and potent that she forgot about their quarrel in an instant. She breathed out his name, clutching the back of his robes briefly before undoing its buttons and sliding it off his shoulders, revealing the toned forearms that always made her come undone.

In a quick movement, he had her on the desk, the books and bottles of ink vanishing with a hand gesture. His fingers trailed beneath the sleeves of her robe, pulling them down just enough to expose her shoulders. The sweet musk of her skin set his pulse racing as he sighed into her shoulder, taking desperate mouthfuls of her and leaving scarlet marks bursting beneath her skin. While his mouth wandered, his hands pushed up her robes, expecting to pull off the leggings she’d normally wear underneath. Beneath the fabric, however, was nothing.

“How scandalous of you, Mrs. Dekarios,” he teased, pushing her legs up for a full view of her cunt, glistening just for him. He ran a finger through her and grazed his lips softly against the pointed tip of her ear, his voice deep and quiet. “Almost like you wanted to be fucked on my desk.”

She could have come with those words alone. Already, the gentle circles he drew around that most sensitive spot threatened to send her over the edge. Whimpering and biting her lip in an attempt to reign herself in, she reached down to feel him, hard and eager beneath his trousers. She slipped the tied leather beneath her fingers and pulled the waistband loose, savoring the silky, hot skin of his cock in her hand. Gale moaned into her neck.

“Maybe I thought I could coax an apology out of you.”

“Hm,” he chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

Before Elspeth could respond, he thrust himself into her, sending a wave of pleasure through her entire body as she held herself up on the desk and clutched Gale’s arm. She cried out, thankful they hadn’t seen a soul in the Tower on their way up, and not caring that there could be others in adjacent rooms overhearing them. Gale lifted her leg up, heeled boot resting against his shoulder as his hips moved rhythmically against her exposed bottom half.

Oh, she was angry with him. His suave words and bedroom eyes and beautiful cock that she worshiped, second only to her deity. Godsdamn him, smoothing over their argument by splaying her out on his desk and half undressing her, knowing the frustration she felt would melt away with a few magic words and a good fuck. It always did–though this was the only time that he had been the subject of her anger since starting their lives together.

But she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t hoping for this.

Gale’s own frustration was dissipating with every thrust. In truth, he knew he should apologize, but that realization only came about when he saw El’s ecstasy as he plunged into her. She was more special to him than an old book–than any book, really. He couldn’t be angry with her now if he tried. Truly testing El’s flexibility, he leaned forward, squishing her upright leg between them, and kissed her madly. His tongue lapped at the inside of her mouth, his moans harder to suppress, and he felt her hand slip between their bodies, finding the center of her pleasure. It was only seconds until she cried out. Her body tensed and her warmth pulsed around him, his release spilling into her as he groaned and clutched her close to him, the two of them finding their climax in perfect unison. 

Elspeth lowered herself to rest her back to the desk, still holding Gale as he lay atop her, panting into her chest. She smoothed out his now-disheveled hair as she caught her own breath, gently combing through the graying strands behind his ears. He raised his head to gaze at her.

“I’m sorry–” they both said in tandem. Giggling, he urged her to speak first.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have been more discerning.”

“No, love,” he said, reaching up to caress her cheek. “I’m sorry. I acted like a right fool. It was ludacris of me to suggest we ask the orphanage for the book back. The orphanage, of all places.” He shook his head in disapproval of himself.

“I know your books are important to you. I promise it won’t happen again, Gale.”

“And I promise to remember that you are more important to me than any book, first edition or otherwise.” He kissed the wrist of the hand resting in his hair. “Your generosity is one of my favorite things about you. I’d do well to take notes.”

He lifted himself up from the desk and extended his hands, pulling El up to her feet. 

“Well, my love,” he said as he redid the ties of his pants. “What else does the day hold for us?”

Elspeth smoothed out her robes and her hair, hoping she didn’t look too hot and bothered. “Let’s go to the bookstore. We can get you something new to fill the book-shaped void.”

Gale broke into a wide smile and pulled his beautiful wife into a deep hug, thanking the gods that she came into his life. 

“Does that sound okay to you?” she asked as he loosened his hold.

“That sounds absolutely perfect.”

Hand-in-hand, they walked back out into the City of Splendors.

[astrojulia]

Tarot Cards as Professions

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Major Arcanas:

The Fool: Work with abroad, connections with imports, language teacher, multinationals, entrepreneur, intern, college student, art major.

The Magician: Entrepreneur, job that needs skill with the hands (acupuncture, hairdresser, artisan), actor, salesperson, influencer.

The High Priestess: Education, especially children, nutrition, psychology, cook, housewife, food engineering, toy factory, fortuneteller, spiritual advisor, librarian.

The Empress: Management, business administration, foreign trade, secretariat, translation, decoration, stay-at-home mom, model, cook, farmer.

The Emperor: Business administration, work related to areas of technological innovation, the military or sportsmen, CEO, tycoon.

The Hierophant: Philanthropic areas, ONGs, religious work, social work, diplomacy, and a degree, journalism, writer, editor, priest, spiritual guru, politician.

The Lovers: Sales area in any sector, tourism, theater, advertising, the arts in general, porn star, stripper, masseuse.

The Chariot: Activities related to transport, cars, the latest technology, chauffeur, mechanic, athlete.

Strength: Aesthetics, physical education and various body therapies, medicine, zoologist.

The Hermit: Teacher, writer, doctor, antique dealer, restorer, librarian, gardener.

Wheel of Fortune: Financial market, exchange offices, casinos, lottery houses, stock exchanges, and areas related to public relations, hospitality, game show host.

Justice: Public jobs, won through competitions, politics, police, with government positions, in the diplomatic area, law, insurance company worker.

The Hanged Man: Nurse, auditor, inspector, porter, secretariat, general assistants, yoga instructor, prison guard, philanthropist.

Death: Doctor, farmer, geologist, business administrator, gardener, accountant, assassin, death row executioner, surgeon.

Temperance: Working with liquids in general or with what is transported in liquid form such as alcoholic beverages, medicines, juices. chemist, chef, food critic, regional or even international traffic.

The Devil: Does not limit the individual to a professional wing, so he can also go to extremes for the desire he has, such as landlord, drug lord, sex trafficker.

The Tower: Social assistance, humanitarian aid, medicine, firefighter, police officer, construction worker.

The Star: Music, painting, sculpture, poetry, cinema, makeup artist, dressmaker, beautician, agent, promoter, sound artist, astronomer, harpist, dealer, meteorologist.

The Moon: Oceanographers, sailors, fishermen, owners of bars and restaurants or nightclubs, artists in general, medium, hypnotist, psychiatrist.

The Sun: Motivational speaker, entertainer, comedian, social relationships, work with the public, artist in general, member of society.

Judgment: Work done at home, connection with the law, lawyer, judge, work with disabled or people excluded from society, social assistance, board member, executive producer, director.

The World: Pharmacist, massage therapist, scientist, teacher, community leader, religious leader or priest, fashion designer, makeup artist, interior decorator.

Wands:

Creative industries such as advertising, marketing, and graphic design.

Entrepreneurship and starting your own business.

Athletics, sports coaching, or physical training.

Outdoor jobs like park ranger or tour guide.

Event planning or organizing.

Firefighters or rescue workers.

Ace of Wands: Entrepreneur, startup founder, motivational speaker, fitness coach, personal trainer.

Two of Wands: Business strategist, project manager, travel agent, international consultant, import/export specialist.

Three of Wands: Sales representative, marketing manager, e-commerce entrepreneur, market researcher, international trade coordinator.

Four of Wands: Event planner, wedding coordinator, party organizer, festival manager, hospitality industry professional.

Five of Wands: Conflict resolution specialist, mediator, lawyer, debate coach, competitive sports coach.

Six of Wands: Public relations manager, spokesperson, social media influencer, motivational speaker, winning athlete.

Seven of Wands: Defense attorney, human rights activist, political campaigner, advocate, civil liberties lawyer.

Eight of Wands: Courier, delivery driver, airline pilot, travel blogger, expedition guide.

Nine of Wands: Security guard, bodyguard, soldier, endurance athlete, self-defense instructor.

Ten of Wands: Overworked entrepreneur, project manager, event organizer, professional organizer, heavy equipment operator.

Page of Wands: Assistant in a creative field, aspiring artist, intern in a startup, social media coordinator, apprentice.

Knight of Wands: Travel journalist, adventure tour guide, professional athlete, race car driver, stunt performer.

Queen of Wands: CEO, business owner, charismatic leader, life coach, influential speaker.

King of Wands: Executive manager, entrepreneur, leadership coach, consultant, director of a creative agency.

Cups:

Counseling, therapy, or social work.

Hospitality industry, including restaurant management and bartending.

Wedding planner or event coordinator.

Artistic fields like poetry, writing, or acting.

Healing professions such as nursing or holistic therapy.

Psychologist or counselor specializing in emotions and relationships.

Ace of Cups: Therapist, counselor, social worker, holistic healer, emotional support specialist.

Two of Cups: Marriage counselor, matchmaker, relationship coach, wedding planner, love psychic.

Three of Cups: Event organizer, party planner, celebratory event coordinator, community organizer.

Four of Cups: Meditation teacher, mindfulness coach, spiritual counselor, psychologist, therapist.

Five of Cups: Grief counselor, trauma therapist, hospice worker, emotional healing practitioner, bereavement support.

Six of Cups: Child psychologist, teacher, daycare worker, children's book author, pediatric nurse.

Seven of Cups: Creative writer, fantasy novelist, imaginative artist, dream analyst, visionary.

Eight of Cups: Travel blogger, adventure seeker, spiritual pilgrim, explorer, wanderlust photographer.

Nine of Cups: Life coach, happiness consultant, gratitude coach, self-help author, wellness retreat organizer.

Ten of Cups: Family therapist, marriage and family counselor, foster care advocate, wedding planner, family mediator.

Page of Cups: Creative writer, artist in training, intuitive healer, aspiring therapist, dream interpreter.

Knight of Cups: Actor, romantic poet, musician, art therapist, love and relationship coach.

Queen of Cups: Psychic reader, intuitive healer, counselor, compassionate caregiver, therapist.

King of Cups: Therapist, counselor, intuitive mentor, emotional intelligence trainer, psychologist.

Swords:

Legal professions like lawyers, judges, or law enforcement officers.

Journalists, reporters, or investigators.

IT specialists, computer programmers, or hackers.

Teachers or professors specializing in critical thinking or philosophy.

Military or defense-related careers.

Strategic planners or analysts.

Ace of Swords: Lawyer, judge, legal consultant, investigative journalist, strategic planner.

Two of Swords: Mediator, conflict resolution specialist, negotiator, diplomat, relationship counselor.

Three of Swords: Divorce lawyer, grief counselor, trauma therapist, emotional healer, heart surgeon.

Four of Swords: Rest and relaxation specialist, meditation teacher, spiritual retreat organizer, yoga instructor.

Five of Swords: Military strategist, competitive sports coach, lawyer specializing in litigation, debate coach.

Six of Swords: Travel agent, relocation consultant, therapist specializing in transitions, boat captain.

Seven of Swords: Private investigator, spy, intelligence analyst, cybersecurity expert, undercover agent.

Eight of Swords: Social justice lawyer, human rights advocate, disability rights activist, therapist specializing in limiting beliefs.

Nine of Swords: Insomnia specialist, anxiety therapist, nightmare counselor, sleep coach, mental health counselor.

Ten of Swords: Surgeon, coroner, forensic scientist, mortician, grief counselor.

Page of Swords: Researcher, journalist, fact-checker, apprentice in a legal field, investigative reporter.

Knight of Swords: Military officer, police officer, attorney, competitive fencer, conflict resolution specialist.

Queen of Swords: Judge, lawyer, critic, journalist, literary agent.

King of Swords: Judge, attorney, CEO, strategist, military general.

Pentacles:

Financial advisors or investment bankers.

Real estate agents or property developers.

Agriculture, farming, or gardening.

Architects, builders, or construction workers.

Conservationists or environmentalists.

Accountants or bookkeepers.

Ace of Pentacles: Financial advisor, investment banker, wealth manager, entrepreneur, luxury goods retailer.

Two of Pentacles: Financial analyst, accountant, bookkeeper, event planner, stock trader.

Three of Pentacles: Architect, contractor, project manager, teamwork facilitator, craftsman.

Four of Pentacles: Wealth manager, investor, financial planner, asset protection specialist, treasurer.

Five of Pentacles: Social worker, philanthropist, charity organizer, financial counselor, volunteer.

Six of Pentacles: Philanthropist, humanitarian worker, non-profit manager, social worker, charitable fundraiser.

Seven of Pentacles: Gardener, farmer, agricultural consultant, sustainability expert, botanist.

Eight of Pentacles: Craftsperson, artisan, apprentice, skilled tradesperson, technical trainer.

Nine of Pentacles: Luxury brand manager, independent business owner, successful entrepreneur, vineyard owner, art collector.

Ten of Pentacles: Real estate developer, property investor, family business owner, generational wealth manager, financial advisor.

Page of Pentacles: Intern, student, apprentice in a practical field, aspiring entrepreneur, entry-level employee.

Knight of Pentacles: Accountant, financial planner, farmer, skilled tradesperson, meticulous worker.

Queen of Pentacles: CEO, business owner, property developer, hospitality industry entrepreneur, financial advisor.

King of Pentacles: CEO, business mogul, successful investor, high-level executive, financial consultant.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[guppybibi]

Not much of a Romancer..

𖦹 pairing: Necromancer!Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x ghost!fem!reader

𖦹 word count: 1543

𖦹 content: Dead Johnny (shockers), most likely inaccurate information, maybe ooc, mild cursing, i feel like this will be a rushed slowburn

𖦹 notes: the definitions are from google lmao, idk how necromancy works but..how do u do dialogue what.

Necromancy, the practice of magic involving communication with the dead by summoning their spirits, a certain act that Simon wasn't familiar with. Yet, at least. He’s been browsing through local libraries whenever he isn't deployed, researching on this topic. It never really piqued his interest to begin with, you know? Well, not until Johnny brought it up once. It stuck with him since.

“Aye whin ah die L.T., mak' sure tae git an ouija boord or learn necromancy sae we kin still talk.” He joked, already tipsy from the amount of alcohol in his system. Simon knew he was kidding, the man was bloody drunk after all. The idea didn't seem..horrible though. Would it really work? Could he still talk with Johnny or the other undead by simply using a haunted board or using witchcraft?

Now that Johnny really was gone, it wouldn't hurt to try it out, right? Simon chose to use the Ouija board first as it looked easier than to learn literal black magic. And did it work? It definitely did! Except he wasn't talking to Johnny’s spirit, instead he was talking to a fucking demon. That could also be the late Sergeant messing with him but he wasn't taking any chances of being possessed by an actual demon, he had enough demons he was fighting internally, he didn't need any more. So he turned to the last option in his book which was learning necromancy, which certainly wasn't easier.

First, he went and browsed the endless world wide web, finding tips and tricks of what you're supposed to do or not do. It was quite useful, being able to learn in the comfort of his own house was convenient. One of the few downsides of researching on the net is the fact that the internet was a cobweb of all sorts of false information, just waiting for the users to fall right into their sticky trap. Simon wasn't one of them though, he wasn't one to trust that easily, especially strangers. So he went to the public library, a place he hasn't been to in years.

It felt like he was out of place to say the least, every heavy step he took made the aged floorboards creak, earning the librarian’s stern glare every time while he nodded his head to silently apologize. So far, the most important thing he learned to keep in mind in necromancy is respect. After all, it was the undead he was disturbing. To never forget to say things like “please” and “thank you” deemed easy enough. Sure he was a cold-hearted man, a lot of people were skeptical if he even had one in him, but he wasn't a disrespectful man. So he kept these things in mind, they were easy enough to do anyway.

So, after months of researching he finally decided to start his very first ritual. He got some chalk, some white candles to repel any negative spirit, he would've chosen to use tea candles but that wasn't the better option. Get it? Because Brits like tea? Well there were a bunch of different methods he could've used, but he chose this so it better work. He was taking this chance, the chance to speak to Johnny again, to properly say goodbye.

At last, it was time. It was the dead of night, Simon decided to perform the ritual in an abandoned building. He managed to accurately set everything up, proving that the months of studying necromancy was worth it. Then, he started the long awaited ritual. It started out smoothly, with him reciting chants and doing whatever was required for him to do. He was anticipating to hear an annoying Scottish accent to come out soon, but instead he heard..a high pitched voice? From what he could tell, it was no doubt a woman. Shit, did he just summon the spirit of an unknown dead woman? Well he had to deal with this, he can only hope it wasn't a hostile spirit. It’s his responsibility now, he can't just shove your soul back into the afterlife.

“I was having a really good rest, ya know..” The spirit starts. “Until a certain someone here decided to ruin it.” She glares at the masked man in front of her, making Simon feel like he was being pierced by sharp needles. “Sorry, that wasn't my intention.” He states the truth, sighing when he realizes his first attempt at speaking to Johnny failed. He should clean up and get going before he pisses you off even more. So he does just that, cleaning up after himself and packing up. “Hey hey, stop right there big guy.” She calls out, disappearing from where she was and reappearing right in front of him.

“You bothered my peaceful slumber, now I’m bothering you!” She announces proudly as if she had just said the best idea for vengeance. Okay, maybe it was because Simon’s ears were already starting to ring from your voice. “Sure, go follow me or whatever.” He said with an indifferent tone, he’s been through the worst things. Things that also caused his ear to ring and rupture, so he could surely handle this. From what he could tell, you seemed like you just wanted to provoke him. That's fine, at least you meant no harm. Physically at least.

And so, you did indeed follow him. No matter the occasion, rainy or sunny, you’d be right there beside him like a pesky shadow. Unless he went to the bathroom, that's where you’d finally cross the line. You still waited for him out the door like a clingy dog though. That was when he was not deployed though, you weren't exactly aware of him being a lieutenant..Sure his room seemed very soldier-like and had remnants of proof all over but he could've been just a military enthusiast or something!

Now here he was, packing all of the essentials as he prepares for deployment while you watch him intently. “Seriously? 3-in-1 shampoo? It's not even scented!” She bitches, concerned about his hygiene routine. “It's efficient and convenient.” He answers dryly, continuing to shove all of the necessities in his bags. “Where are you going anyways? Vacation?” To which he scoffs at, do you really think he's bringing a pistol to a vacation? “Did the afterlife take all of your wits too? I’m getting deployed.”

“..Deployed?” She questions. “I’m in the army.” And with that, her eyes are as wide as saucers. “Excuse me, no wait–excuse you? And you never bothered mentioning it to me once!” Then he cuts you off. “You never bothered to tell me your name. I think we're in pretty similar situations.” Her mouth is instantly zipped, he did have a point. “Oh right..well it isn't too late to get to know each other, big guy.”

“Stop calling me ‘big guy’.” “Then tell me your name. Look, I’ll even start. My name is Y/N, nice to meet you.” She starts, holding out her hand as she expects a handshake from him. Because that's how proper formal introductions start! “Ghost.” He replies blankly, getting a raised eyebrow from you. “That's it?” She sulks. “Just an alias, that's enough.”

‘What a killjoy’ she thinks, why couldn't someone more interesting make her come to life! Like maybe a group of rebellious teens or anyone but like this ‘Ghost’ guy! “Well then ‘Ghost’, let's get to know each other!” She insists. “I won't be talking to you when I’m deployed, don't want the soldiers thinking I’m a madman.” She whines, how much did she sin during her lifetime to deserve such dull torture? Before she could even open her mouth to complain, he spoke up. “If you dislike haunting me then just leave.” “I can't.” She tells, and Simon has never seen you this quiet before.

“I bet I owe you some kind of explanation huh? Looks like you didn't research enough on this necromancing disturbing the dead shit.” He nodded, admitting his mistake. “Whoever awakes the undead is the only one who can put them to rest again, you have to perform another ritual for it. So if I don't stop following you, I could possibly lose you and permanently wander as a ghost forever. I don't want that, none of the undead does.” She explained, the words are hard to get out of her. While the masked man nodded in understanding, that's why she acted like she was glued to him like honey. He thought about it, it did seem pretty shitty. You can only do so much, going around as a ghost doesn't seem like the funnest thing in the world.

“I see. Just..stick by me or whatever.” There's something in him that doesn't wanna get rid of her just yet, maybe it's his conscience? Yeah, that was for sure it. It would feel like he was purposely putting someone back in their grave, the soil being used to bury them a little too familiar to other experiences. The woman blinks a few times, burning straight through his soul as she stares at him before nodding. Looks like he was in no rush to get rid of her, that's nice. She’ll stay by his side the whole time, whether he likes it or not.

[covid-safer-hotties]

a newsletter some of y'all may be interested in subscribing to

By John Dupuis

Welcome to the latest issue of the Covid-Is-Not-Over Newsletter! A couple more issues during December before I take a little break from regular issues and publish a couple of filler “Bonus” issues. I’m definitely looking forward to a couple of slower weeks of holiday movies and fun books. I’m thinking of a Lord of the Rings rewatch this year. LotR are holiday movies, right? Right?

Mini-theme this week seems to be librarian-friendly, with a couple of colleagues writing about Information Literacy and the pandemic and how we’ve gotten ourselves in this rather amazing fine mess. How can all that good information be available to seemingly smart people, and yet it doesn’t seem to sink in? How can Long Covid fly under the radar, ignored or psychologized?

One thing that I want to remember from last week is that appalling Lisi Tesher article. You may recall that Lisi Tesher is the Toronto Star agony aunt who gave a horrible response to a letter about how to accommodate a Covid cautious person at a wedding. Tesher basically called the person mentally ill. Appalling.

Anyways, clear air advocate Ryan Tennant wrote a fantastic response as a letter to the editor at the Waterloo Record, which republishes Tesher’s column. Here’s a little bit.

In the context of COVID-19, we should respect and support individuals who make choices to protect their health and the health of those around them, especially when science justifies it.

For weddings and similar gatherings, a compassionate response would have offered creative ways to understand and incorporate evidence-based health protections against COVID-19, ensuring everyone feels valued and safe.

I urge this publication to ensure its contributors are equipped with accurate information and an appropriate tone for readers seeking support.

If you are the grudge-holding type of person, perhaps it’s not too late to encourage Ms. Tesher to read this week and last. The Star’s Life section email is life@thestar.ca, the city editor is city@thestar.ca and Ms. Tesher herself is at lisi@thestar.ca.

This week I also highlight some more on Trump and public health, not to mention some revolution-making, rabble-rousing, high-energy jazz.

Like! Share! Subscribe!

As most have probably noticed, there is no paid subscription option for this newsletter. However, Substack does have an option where subscribers can pledge to subscribe “just in case” and a few kind subscribers have made that pledge. I very much appreciated the vote of confidence in what I’m doing here. What I’ve decided to do on a trial basis is to set up a “tip jar” on the Ko-fi platform. I’m not anticipating a huge surge of income from using Ko-fi but whatever revenue I do end up with, I plan to spend on supporting artists on Bandcamp.

Be my secret Santa!

It’s not about information literacy: Why people’s risk calculus around COVID has changed by Meredith Farkas / Information Wants to Be Free: The Newsletter I don’t think information literacy is the issue here. Most people I know are quite smart, well-read, and adept at research. I don’t know if they read things about COVID anymore, but if they’re not, it’s not because they don’t know how to find it. I think a lot more is happening with people who avoid COVID information and ignore risks and I think it’s a mix of personal psychological factors, privilege, the absolute disaster that was public health messaging around COVID, and social pressure to align with the dominant narrative that COVID is over. I know we like to distill things down to a single cause (“they’re selfish!” “It’s Biden’s fault!”), but this is considerably more complicated.

Many of us are dealing with pandemic fatigue, which is a lot like burnout and leads to a “demotivation to engage in protection behaviors and seek COVID-19 related information” (Haktanir, et al., 2022, p. 7315). Ford, Douglas, & Barrett (2023) describe pandemic fatigue as “a complex set of emotions comprised of anxiety, hopelessness, depression, and anger.” There are a few of reasons people become fatigued in this way. The biggest is simply the length of time we were all expected to stay in a state of emergency and hypervigilance. Living in that state with no clear end in sight can easily lead to burnout as many of us who have worked in high stress jobs can attest. You can’t stay in a state of hypervigilance forever without eventually becoming exhausted and desensitized (Koh, Chan, & Tan 2020). Chen et al. (2024) found that even when they controlled for pandemic severity at particular points in time, pandemic fatigue increased in study participants an average of 5.8% every six months of the pandemic. Instead of vilifying folks who experience pandemic fatigue and decrease their precautions, the WHO portrays it as “a natural and expected reaction to sustained and unresolved adversity in people’s lives,” (7), an approach which I personally appreciate. Shame is not a motivator and these are very normal psychological responses.

Advice for U.S. Government Scientists: Lessons Learned From the ‘Muzzling’ of Their Canadian Counterparts by David Shiffman / The Revelator Step One: They Can’t Delete What They Don’t Exclusively Control

For scientists working at government agencies, they suggest making copies of everything so it can be stored somewhere else — and to do that as soon as possible, certainly well before the next administration starts.

For example, does your agency have a publicly funded database, report, or educational website that has anything to do with climate change, conservation, diversity, equity and inclusion, or public health? It’s very likely that the next administration will try to suppress or delete at least some of it. A nongovernment partner, such as a university or large nonprofit, can host copies of these important documents and data if they’re shared in advance.

These efforts are already underway, but it’s vital to spread the advice as far as possible, as quickly as possible, so no data is left vulnerable.

New Zealand Covid inquiry finds vaccine mandates were ‘reasonable’ by Australian Associated Press / The Guardian A royal commission into New Zealand’s Covid response has largely accepted the need for vaccine mandates, while accepting they harmed a substantial minority of New Zealanders.

The first of two inquiry reports on the pandemic was released on Thursday and also called for broad investment to plan for the next pandemic.

A headline finding is that New Zealand had one of the lowest rates of Covid deaths for each head of population among developed countries.

The most contentious of the issues surveyed was the use of lockdowns and vaccine mandates, which helped to curb the spread of the virus, but at the cost of social cohesion and trust in government, according to the report.

“Contentious public health measures like vaccine mandates wore away at what had initially been a united wall of public support for the pandemic response,” commissioners Tony Blakely, John Whitehead and Grant Illingworth wrote.

“Along with the rising tide of misinformation and disinformation, this created social fissures that have not entirely been repaired.”

Another finding was “it was reasonable to introduce some targeted vaccine requirements based on information available at the time”, but the case was weaker from early 2022 when the Omicron variant took over.

The COVID inquiry report is an excellent guide to preparing for the next pandemic – health cuts put that at risk by Michael Baker, Amanda Kvalsvig, Collin Tukuitonga, Nick Wilson / The Conversation The report concludes that New Zealand’s adoption of an elimination strategy was highly successful, but had wide-ranging impacts on all aspects of life.

The strategy required early use of border controls, lockdowns and other restrictions which helped prevent widespread infection until most of the population was vaccinated. This response gave New Zealand one of the lowest COVID mortality rates globally.

The report also found that as the pandemic progressed into late 2021, the negative impacts increased. Controlling the pandemic was focused on mandates, including restrictions on public gatherings, quarantine and isolation, contact tracing, masking and vaccination requirements.

The effects included declining trust in government within some communities and loss of social cohesion. Vaccine hesitancy emerged as a growing challenge to the vaccine rollout, fed by exposure to misinformation and disinformation.

The prolonged pandemic and lack of a clear exit strategy from elimination added to the difficulties, according to the commission’s report.

Almost a third of preteens, teens with long COVID still not recovered at 2 years, study shows by Stephanie Soucheray / CIDRAP A new study from UK investigators shows that—while most COVID-19 patients ages 11 to 17 who reported long-COVID symptoms 3 months after the initial infection no longer experienced lingering symptoms at 2 years—29% still did.

The findings, published in the journal Communications Medicine, come from the National Long COVID in Children and Young People cohort study, which followed up on thousands of young people after their COVID-19 diagnoses. …

Overall, 20% to 25% of all infection status groups reported three or more symptoms 24 months post-testing, with 10% to 25% experiencing five or more symptoms. Not all who reported symptoms, however, met the formal criteria for long COVID. In fact, five or more symptoms were reported by 14.2% of those who never tested positive for SARS-CoV-2, and by 20.8% of those with at least two infections.

Older teens and females were most likely to meet formal definitions, the authors said. "We did not find that symptoms or their impact differed by vaccination status," the authors wrote.

Independent Long COVID Journalism as a Lens for Critical Information Literacy: Conversations with The Sick Times Founders Betsy Ladyzhets and Miles W. Griffis by Andrea Baer / Communications in Information Literacy The realities of COVID-19 and Long COVID and their ongoing impacts are unsettling. In a world of information overload, when we face numerous wicked problems that have no simple or complete solutions, it’s understandable that we may sometimes want to simply look away or may, at times, feel paralyzed and throw up our hands. Some readers may, like me, ask themselves to what extent to engage with wicked problems like COVID-19 in the realm of information literacy, given how polarized and taboo this topic has become and given that most discussions about COVID-19 place it in the past tense (e.g., “postpandemic,” “post-COVID era”). Some readers may also, like me, ask themselves how examining reporting on complex topics like COVID-19 might inform their teaching practices more broadly. I would like to do more of the latter along with others, and do so with critical reflection, care, and an ongoing practice of perspective-taking. …

COVID-19 and Long COVID, similar in many respects to climate change, are not going away, and they affect us all, albeit to varying degrees and in different ways. The Sick Times is a concrete example of people and communities making a positive difference for many in the short term, while also growing connections and efforts that necessary for larger and more systemic change over the long term.

Long COVID is becoming a serious social and economic issue for Australia by Jason Murphy / Crikey Among the current generation of kids, many are growing up with their mother or father confined to bed or confined to bed themselves. According to a study by ANU, long COVID is hitting up to an estimated 20% of Australians three months after they contracted COVID — mostly women, but also men and children. In the current COVID wave, that means a lot of people coming down sick for a long time.

Long COVID is keeping people from their jobs and their lives, and as COVID cases continue, it is unclear whether the rate of new long COVID cases is increasing faster than the old cases recover.

‘I was in denial about it’: actor Matt McGorry on having long Covid by Estelle Tang / The Guardian What does risk mitigation look like for you, and what did you want people who don’t have long Covid to take away from the video?

The risk mitigation in my life is very high. When your health is taken away from you, you realize how important it is. There’s not much that feels worth the risk of another Covid infection.

I don’t necessarily expect that everyone does or should do what I’m doing, but the number one thing is having a very well-fitting respirator. For maximum protection, you need something that forms an airtight seal. While you may get some protection from a surgical mask, if you’re already taking that step, it makes sense to find something that seals to your face. I wear the Flo mask, which is a reusable mask. People definitely look at it, and I have all sorts of feelings about that. I used to love to people-watch, and now I don’t any more, because people are watching me. …

My asks are very simply masking, at the very least, in places where disabled and immunocompromised people have to be: grocery stores, medical settings such as doctors, offices, pharmacies, hospitals, and transportation like planes, trains and buses.

Even as an act of solidarity, picking a couple of those places, making a commitment to that and making that known is incredibly important. As someone who feels extremely isolated and abandoned by the rest of society, I don’t have the capacity any more to ask individual people in my life if they will take this on. That’s what the video was for.

Long COVID pandemic in the aftermath of the acute phase / Centre for Pandemics and One-Health Research Why is this topic important?

It is important for many reasons, but I would say the main reason is that this is a problem that affects a large fraction of those with acute infections or certain acute infections. In this COVID study with adolescents, we found that approximately 47 percent had long-term sequels, and quite a high percentage of these would fulfil the criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome, which is a debilitating situation. That is quite similar to what we have seen after other infections. For instance, with kissing disease, six months after the infection, you are left with 10 to 15 percent with a chronic condition and with functional impairments.

The good news is that the majority, especially in the younger age group, will recover spontaneously. However, this can take a long time, and in adolescent medicine, this is one of the major causes for functional impairments in adolescents. So, it has a significant impact on people´s functional capability. It is necessary to understand the details of the pathophysiology for treatment, prophylaxis and prevention. The first step is, therefore, to understand what is going on. The next step is to conduct clinical trials in order to try to treat this phenomenon. This is something my research group is doing as part of the research.

For the love of God, Covid isn't over - so can people please wear masks? By Sam Williams / Canary A week ago, my wife and I went to John Lewis to look at air fryers. As we entered the store, I put on an FFP3 mask because of Covid. My wife looked at me in disgust and said, “Oh, you’re wearing a mask?” I replied, “Yes. There’s a lot of Covid around, and I don’t want it. Do you?”

She responded, “Well, the trouble is, I’m not wearing a mask”.

I said, “Yes, I can see that. I wish you would. The trouble is, every time I’ve caught Covid, it’s been from you. I’m disabled with long COVID, and every time I get reinfected, it makes me really, really ill”.

So here’s my question: does my wife not care?

I want to use this piece to spark a debate about who we are as people. Are we kind and virtuous, or are we selfish and indifferent? Writing an article about what stops people from wearing masks, while I live with the pain caused by my wife not masking, feels like an oddly meta activity.

That’s right, folks: it was probably my wife who gave me Covid in the first place. Although, to be fair, neither of us knew about masking or long Covid back then.

Want to Limit Respiratory Virus Infections? Mask and Test in Hospitals by Rachel Robertson / MedPage Today Stopping universal masking and SARS-CoV-2 testing in hospitals led to a surge in hospital-onset respiratory viral infections relative to community infections, a cohort study found.

After these safeguards were removed, there was a 25% jump in hospital-onset respiratory viral infections compared with the preceding Omicron-dominant period (RR 1.25, 95% CI 1.02-1.53), reported Theodore Pak, MD, PhD, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, and colleagues.

When hospital staff began masking again, the rates of hospital-onset respiratory viral infections decreased by 33% (RR 0.67, 95% CI 0.52-0.85), they wrote in a JAMA Network Open

Testing and Masking Policies and Hospital-Onset Respiratory Viral Infections by Theodore R. Pak,Tom Chen, Sanjat Kanjilal, et al. / JAMA Network Open In this study, stopping universal masking and SARS-CoV-2 testing was associated with a significant increase in hospital-onset respiratory viral infections relative to community infections. Restarting the masking of health care workers was associated with a significant decrease. Limitations of our analysis included a lack of concurrent controls, possible variations in compliance, difficulty disentangling effects of testing vs masking, and potential case misclassification. However, medical record reviews suggested most hospital-onset cases were true acute cases.

Nosocomial respiratory viral infections remain associated with increased length of stay and higher mortality in hospitalized populations. Our data suggest that masking5 and testing were 2 potentially effective measures to protect patients who are hospitalized, particularly when community respiratory virus incidence rates were elevated.

Long Covid-19 Weakens Immunity In Children, Increases Risk Of Infections: Study by Himani Chandna / News18 Children experience weakened immunity and bacterial infections after suffering from long Covid-19 syndrome, a study published in the medical journal Nature has revealed.

Persistent fatigue was the most common symptom in children with long Covid syndrome, while the majority of children often complained about anxiety.

Is H5N1 (Bird Flu) the Next Pandemic Causing Virus? / LIL_Science One critical aspect of H5N1 becoming a pandemic causing virus is developing person to person transmission, this has not yet been reported for the virus. However, research published December 2nd, 2024 in Nature Microbiology makes a strong case for increased virus shedding and hence airborne transmission being a key component of increased infectivity. The researchers found that increased viral shedding in H5N1 found in an infected dairy farm worker but not in H5N1 that infected the in cattle themselves. This means the virus in that person had changed in a way that allowed for improved airborne spread. This supports prior research published October 28th, 2024 in Nature showing that the same virus strain (A/Texas/37/2024 (huTX37-H5N1) had acquired a mutation that improved the virus’s ability to infect human cells and increased lethality in animal models.

Repeat human infection gives the influenza virus more chances to develop mutations. Within the last month several reports have indicated that H5N1 is moving closer to person to person transmission while maintaining it’s highly pathogenic nature, exactly what we don’t want.

I have gotten hundreds of questions on social media about this so I will start with some of the basics to help everyone navigate what might be coming next. Let’s dive into where H5N1 came from, why is it more concerning than annual influenza strains, and what can we do to protect ourselves?

'Mistaking Covid as a cold may put people at risk' by Nikki Fox / BBC An NHS matron said that too often people were mistaking Covid for a common cold and a lack of testing could be putting vulnerable people at risk.

Lana Goodwin, who works in Covid services at Mid and South Essex NHS Foundation Trust in Billericay, Essex, said she believed people who were not high risk "feel that Covid has gone".

She added that statistics showed many vulnerable people were also not aware they were eligible for anti-viral drugs.

Ms Goodwin said: "I feel the public see [Covid] symptoms as a cold and it doesn't trigger off a response to test."

Ms Goodwin said that her clinic had people testing positive for the virus every day and vulnerable people were "unfortunately still dying from Covid".

[leaderpinhead]

Ace - Overachiever Syndrome

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial current prompt.

“You know this paper is only five hundred words, right?” 

The stack of books landed on the table with a heavy thud. Someone from across the library loudly shushed them for the noise. Ace ignored the shusher, as did everyone else, and groaned when Yuu opened the first book in the stack. “You’re not even gonna be able to read that before our next history of magic class!” 

“I’m done!” Grim exclaimed, earning them another “Sssshhhhussshhh!” Grim proudly held up his paper. “Trein’s gonna give me a gold star when he sees this!” 

Deuce leaned across the table and squinted at Grim’s wobbly handwriting. “The...Queendom...of...Roses...is...gi..gib?” 

Ace snorted on a laugh. “Those first-grade reading lessons are finally paying off.” 

Deuce’s cheeks turned red. “It’s not my reading that’s the problem! Grim’s handwriting is barely legible.” 

“What d’ya mean you can’t read my handwriting?” Grim flattened the paper on the table. His paw perfectly fit the inked paw print he had left behind on the bottom corner of the paper. “It’s perfectly readable!” 

“You misspelled big! The b is at the beginning.” 

“That is a b! You just can’t read!” 

While Deuce and Grim argued—the shusher interrupting with a few shushes—Yuu flipped through the thick textbook. Ace rolled his eyes and started balancing his pencil on the tip of his nose. “Are you seriously about to do a binge study session? We’ve got homework in three other classes to do 

“I’m glad you’re taking our assignments seriously,” Yuu said. She kept flipping through the book. Her speed would have impressed someone like Deuce, but Ace knew better. She wasn’t some super-genius with a photo memory who could skim a whole textbook in fifty seconds and retain everything. She was looking at all the pictures at the most. “So you understand why it’s important I do research for this assignment.” 

Ace groaned and let his pencil roll off his nose to bounce on the table. “Doesn’t that defeat the whole point though? Trein said the paper was to assess what we already know about the Queendom of Roses.” 

“That’s easy for someone like you who grew up in the Queendom of Roses,” Yuu countered. She was about halfway through the textbook now, and she paused on a photograph taking up one whole page. “Unlike you, I didn’t grow up in Twisted Wonderland. So how am I supposed to write five hundred words about a place I don’t know?” 

“Easy.” Ace twirled his pencil through his fingers and grinned. “Just write I don’t know anything five hundred times.” 

Yuu crumbled a piece of paper for the single purpose of throwing it at Ace’s head. “I think I'm going to do it my way, smartass.” 

Ace batted away the paper ball. “Suit yourself.” He pointed at the stack of books she had collected. “You know there’s, like, fifty books in that series, right?” 

Yuu’s eyes widened. “Fifty? Are you sure?” 

Ace nodded. “Yeah. War in the Queendom of Roses, right? It’s way popular in the Queendom of Roses even outside of school. Riddle quotes it at least once a day.” 

“Fifty,” Yuu repeated, her voice soft like she didn’t even realize she spoke aloud. She didn’t react to Grim flying across the table to tackle Deuce in the face. “I only saw these books on the shelves...” 

Ace shrugged. “Maybe the librarian put the other books in different sections. Not all of them are about history. One of them is a straight-up cookbook. Trey’s got that one in Heartslabyul’s kitchen.” 

Yuu stood from her chair. Her eyes shone with a new determination. “I need to find those books.” 

“You need to write your paper, so we can get out of here!” 

“I can’t understand the Queendom of Roses without those books.” 

“Do you not know how convoluted the history of the Queendom of Roses is? Riddle can’t even give you a timeline that’s 100% accurate!” 

Yuu punched the palm of her hand. “I’ll start with the Queendom of Roses and then move on to the history of the countries in the Shaftlands.” 

“We’re not even supposed to start on the Shaftlands until next semester!” 

Yuu completely ignored him and disappeared into the bookshelves. Ace groaned and slouched into his chair. “Man! If I had wanted a Riddle-study-session, I would’ve just gone to the dorm.” 

Deuce and Grim ignored him too, the two of them loudly wrestling on the floor. Whoever had been shushing them had given up, and Ace had the sneaking suspicion the librarian would soon be around to kick them out. He threw the paper ball at the back of Grim’s head just to be sure the librarian had a strong enough reason to kick them out. 

It took Yuu getting into a loud argument with a Scarabia student over War in the Queendom of Roses Vol. XLII for the librarian to finally expel them. The next morning, Yuu turned in a thick stack of papers for her assignment. When Trein only stared at the stack, Yuu shrugged. “The instructions were to write at least five hundred words.” 

Trein was very strict about the length of the rest of the assignments he gave them. 

[manicpixelwench]

I was just wondering what was the research process for your story was like ? Yk doing research’s on let’s say about danish police or it could be anything, I would like to hear if there are some tips , luv you ❤️

I randomly sat at a dinner next to a former head of IT for the Danish police during my prep phase, so I covertly asked this poor man a bunch of increasingly specific questions (he was nice about it - no, he does not look like Hoyer at all). But the internet is a great way to start and though it's decaying at a rapid speed, it is still good for something. Otherwise, go support a library by annoying a willing librarian or contact a university. I say this from my POV, if things are different where you are, this is obviously not helpful haha.

Admittedly (and it says so on your load screens too) my depiction of the Danish police is fictional, based on fiction - I mainly watch cop shows and read books. I'm not doing a documentary of what it's like to be a police detective in Denmark. But I hope it's believeable fiction.

[nitewrighter]

This might sound random but what are your tips when applying for a librarian position? What are the best things to bring up/mention during an application of potential interview and anything to avoid saying?

I mean it's going to vary depending on the library you're applying to. Libraries shape themselves according to the needs of their communities, so I would say the best thing you can do for yourself is "Don't see librarianship as a cookie cutter/one size fits all job." I actually recently attended a zoom seminar on interviewing for Library jobs and it took two tries, but following the advice from it got me my current job. So here are some of the spark notes:

-Do your research---Take a deep dive into the library's website. Look at what programming they currently have. Go through their whole calendar. Most public libraries worth their salt have what is called a "Strategic Plan" though that also may vary from town to town. Strategic Plans can tell you about the demographics of the community a library serves and where the library is pinpointing its own weaknesses and where it wants to improve in terms of programming, collection, et cetera. But the Strategic Plan is also where the library is selling itself, making a point of talking about how valuable it is to the community. If you do your research and are able to bring up a point that you've observed in your reading--like, you want to look for gaps that you can fill with your skills, you want to be the guy that solves their problems-- they're going to notice that! Like--for example, "I looked at your strategic plan, and it looks like your Cantonese-language programming has been very popular! I speak Cantonese and I'd be happy to help out with expanding programming or collections!" (disclaimer: Please actually be able to speak Cantonese if you're going to try something like this.)

-Be confident and comfortable-- I know, I know, this is the fucking Dark Souls 'Get Gud' of interview advice but libraries are looking for people who can work with people, and if you're visibly melting down, that is going to affect how competent they think you are for the job. Because they aren't just picturing you in the interview chair, they're picturing you behind the desk, talking to their library's patrons. Look clean, be engaged, be mindful of how fast you're talking, BREATHE, don't freak out at having to take 15-30 seconds to properly think up your answer to a question, but also don't be too stiff, bring a water bottle to sip to buy yourself extra time to respond and/or compose yourself mid-response. Project the image of the person you want to be behind that desk, but also find your baseline and figure out how to return to it.

-Actually take advantage of that "Any Questions?" bit at the end of the interview-- Don't ask about salary at the interview--Most library job listings include the payment range in the listing itself, so asking about the salary just tells the interviewers you didn't read it which definitely knocks off points. No, at the end of the interview, they're going to ask you, "Okay do you have any questions" and I know---Interviews are agonizing and you want this super stressful hyper-performative conversation to be over BUT YOU GOTTA HAVE QUESTIONS. Questions signal your interest on another level, having questions says you're already ready to get started. But okay I got these questions from a "Success at Library Interviews" Zoom seminar and they did help me net that job. So here they are:

"What are you looking for in your ideal candidate?"

This question allows the interviewers to emphasize more specific points of the job opening, and also gives you an additional opportunity to sell yourself as The Guy Who Can Solve That Problem.

"What would you say is the biggest challenge facing your library right now?"

This signals a more broad-spectrum interest in their library while also providing you an opportunity to sell yourself as The Guy Who Can Solve That Problem.

And, for funsies--

"What is your favorite part of library work?"

This one helps lighten the mood from the library's problems while also creating a space to connect a little more personally with your interviewers--it also gives you a space to talk about your own sense of fulfillment with library work.

So yeah. Again, all libraries are different and your mileage may vary--but engagement is the name of the game here.

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

To Break Free

Chapter Four Summary:

The bliss of having Joel, of holding him in the quiet solace of his bedroom while the world passed you by, couldn't last forever. At least that's what you try to remind yourself when reality comes knocking, effectively snapping you out of the fantasy you had been living in. Meanwhile Joel wades through ancient anxieties to accept his new normal, along with the fact that he may or may not be falling for you. With the two of you weighed down by the past, how will either of you react when a ghost comes back to haunt you?

Warnings: NoOutbreak!Joel Miller/Reader, Sarah & Ellie as Siblings, Librarian!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Romance, Smut, Talks of the Past, Mentions of Trauma & Abuse, Comfort, A Touch of Miscommunication, Both Reader & Joel Need a Hug.

A/N:

Hey y'all! So sorry to those who I promised an update to by the end of the weekend. I've been doing research in Montevideo and ended up missing my flight, but I'm home now! This chapter starts off where we left off. Warning for some smutty things but my major warning for this chapter is talks about past emotional abuse, a bit of miscommunication and angst as a result of that, and some major abandonment issues coming out on Joel's behalf. I'm back home now so the next chapter has been started. Chapter 5 will explore the exact nature of the relationship between Joel and Tess, and more importantly, why she has remained in his thoughts years after her death. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4/10

Chapter 4: Ghosts

The sun filtered in through the blinds, warming the tip of your nose and burning the backs of your eyelids as consciousness slowly took hold. A small sigh left your lips as you stretched out like a cat, enjoying the soft pop in between your shoulder blades as your eyes fluttered open. You blinked once, then twice, trying to remember when you had painted your bedroom walls such a dark color. It was only when a set of strong arms yanked you backwards, enveloping you in a wall of heat, that you remembered. 

“Morning darling,” Joel drawled as he laid a smattering of kisses against every inch of skin he could find.  

His lips journeyed up to the side of your face and you turned, smiling as you caught the last one with your own. Joel hummed into it, reaching forward to carefully roll you onto your back so that he could deepen it. One of his hands weaved its way into your hair, his thick fingers mindlessly rubbing circles into your scalp until you were close to purring. He climbed over top of you, invading all of your senses as his tongue slipped into the mix. The soft moan you let out was muffled against his mouth, making him chuckle as he pulled away for air. 

“So sensitive for me baby, m’just trying to give my girl a kiss,” Joel teased. 

Despite his claims of innocence, Joel had planted one of his meaty thighs between your legs, giving you just enough pressure to make your mind spin. He tensed the thick muscles as he spoke, huffing a laugh as you squirmed and rocked your hips against him. You tried to think of a retort but with his teeth scraping the sensitive skin beneath your jaw and his thigh pressing into your weeping slit, the task was becoming impossible. 

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” you panted, unable to keep from whining as he licked a stripe up the column of your throat. 

Joel smiled as he pulled away to loom over you, his eyes brighter than any flaming sun or blazing forest fire and you melted beneath them. Sweat dampened the edges of your hair as heat radiated off of him in waves, his delicious scent intoxicating you until you were sure that the boxers he let you borrow were soaked. One hand came up to cradle the side of your face and you leaned into it, pressing a sweet kiss to the scarred palm that held you as his other hand gripped your doughy thigh and hiked it up over his hip. 

“Like I said,” you moaned as he pressed his hips into the cradle of yours, his cock angrily weeping through the thin layers between you, “Bullshit.” 

He smiled as he ghosted his lips over yours, rendering you absolutely useless as you chased after their soft touch. 

“Can ya blame me sweetheart? Look at how sexy you are - all laid up in my bed, wearing my clothes. It’s enough to make a man - fuck,”Joel cussed, groaning as you locked yours legs around him and dragged his hips forward, “Damnit, you’re gonna be the death of me baby.” 

The next kiss was hard and rough, tongues and teeth clashing in a fight for dominance that made your mind spin. Joel took control and you let him, trusting him to hold your body, mind, and spirit without the fear of rejection or judgment. And you knew he trusted you the same, could feel it in the way he allowed his own walls to come down in the sanctuary of his bedroom. His skilled hands skimmed over your soft tummy, appreciating every inch of you before they cupped your breasts and flicked your nipples until they hardened. He pinched one of them between his calloused fingers as his tongue tangled with yours, rolling it until you let out an embarrassingly loud whimper that bounced off the walls and forced him to pull away. 

“Gotta be quiet f’me sweet girl, we ain’t alone in this house,” Joel chastised, with his face beet red and his voice still gravelly from sleep.  

“S-Sorry,” you whispered, utterly entranced by the man that plucked at your nipples and grinded against your sopping cunt with a devilishly handsome grin on his face.  

Joel threw the blankets off the both of you when you whimpered his name, making your eyes bulge as he began to slide down the length of your body. His fingertips played with the bottom of your shirt when he reached it, pausing for a moment to give you a questioning look that made you giggle. As if you would ever refuse him. 

“You don’t have to ask Joel, I want you to touch me,” you cooed, pushing a stray curl off of his sweaty forehead. 

He wrinkled his nose at the comment and nipped at your hands, shaking his head as he began to push the fabric upwards, “Course I gotta ask baby, s’not my place to assume. Now hush.” 

Joel didn’t give you a chance to answer before he ripped the shirt off and popped a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it so hard that you had to slap a palm over your mouth to keep from screaming. His teeth teased the nub, angering it a bit longer before he switched to the other side to do the same. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, pussy gushing as you felt Joel’s cock throb against your bare thigh. The barrier separating the two of you was thin, so thin that you could feel the sheets below growing damper with each filthy grind and you longed for him to finally take that final step, to yank the underwear off the both of you so that he could sink inside. 

A low groan left Joel as you pulled him back by his hair and you grinned, noting the way his hips jumped in response to the sting. His eyes were heavy on yours, pupils completely dilated as he looked down at you like a predator about to pounce on its prey. There was nothing more you’d rather do than let him have his way with you completely, to allow him to tease every nerve ending until you were begging him to fuck you stupid, but you couldn’t. If the alarm clock was correct, it was already way past seven thirty in the morning - meaning that you were nearly an hour behind on your regular routine. If the two of you were going to fool around, it needed to be quick and dirty, the very opposite of everything Joel stood for. 

“We don’t have much time Joel, I have - shit, right there - Um, I-I have work and I’m pretty sure that you’re already super late for - ah, f-fuck,” you moaned, cut off as his cock throbbed against your swollen clit from inside the confines of his boxers.

“Mm, you underestimate my abilities darling,” he drawled, the confidence he exuded only driving you even more wild, “Just give me five minutes baby, I promise you won’t regret it.” 

Joel finished his statement with a playful nip that made you giggle, which dissolved into another breathless moan as his fingers slipped past the waistband to glide through your weeping cunt. He gathered all of the slick at your entrance and dragged it upwards to circle your clit, teasing you with a featherlight touch that made you buck against him in desperation. 

“Oh my god, yes. Please Joel, please fuck me. I need it so b-”

“Dad?”

Joel turned to stone, his mouth falling open as his talented fingers froze between your thighs. Bile rose to the back of your throat as you stared back at him, full on terror making your stomach roil as you heard the telltale sound of a certain teen approaching the bedroom door. 

“Helloooooo? Earth to father? Do you know if we have any pancake mix? I can’t find it anywhere,” Sarah called from beyond the flimsy wood. 

She sounded close, so close that your eyes wheeled around the room in an attempt to pinpoint where her father had thrown your shirt. The shock on Joel’s face was almost cartoonish and it would have made you laugh, if you weren’t just as terrified as him. Had he locked the bedroom door before coming to bed the previous night? Was there even a lock for him to turn? You didn’t know, all you knew for sure was that he needed to answer Sarah before she waltzed in and saw her dad in a whole new light. 

“Say something,” you whispered. 

He balked and shot back a hushed, “What? No!” 

“Joel, unless you want her to come in here and see you half naked on top of me, you will answer her. Now fucking do it!,” you hissed, the urgency in your tone leaving no room for discussion. 

The sigh Joel let out was pained and ridiculously dramatic, but he relented. Whatever qualms he had about breaking his silence, you were right, there was no other choice if he wanted to keep from traumatizing his eldest. 

“Uh, did you check the pantry?,” Joel tried, glaring at you for making him speak. 

“Duh, of course I checked there, but then I checked the cupboards and the lazy susan - nothing! What gives? You told me that you were going to the grocery store yesterday. Did you forget the list again or something?,” Sarah answered, the sass evident in her tone. 

“Yup, must’ve,” he quipped, shooting you another sharp look as your attempt to crawl out from underneath him forced him to muffle a moan in the crook of your neck. 

The movement only angered Joel’s throbbing cock further as it rubbed against your thigh and you winced, mouthing an apology to him that only slightly softened the tightened features on his face. You didn’t blame him for being cross, as the embarrassment of the situation was about two seconds away from making you dissolve into a puddle of tears. 

“Ugh, c’mon dad. I left it on the fridge for a reason,” she grumbled, her voice getting smaller as she padded away from the bedroom. 

The surly tone Sarah used was so familiar that you giggled, forcing Joel to place a hand over your mouth to muffle it until you were in the clear. He looked away as you fought through the laughter, straining to hear if she had turned around for a few seconds before he sighed and let his hand fall. You couldn’t help it, not when Sarah had unknowingly just done the most accurate impression of her father without even having to show her face. Typically, the clearest example of the Joel Miller temperament was Ellie, with her pointed looks and frequent eye rolls, but the bark in Sarah’s tone was spot on.  

“Jesus Christ, are you trying to get us caught? What’s wrong with you?,” Joel grunted, looking at you like you had three heads. 

“I’m sorry,” you laughed, earning an eye roll from him as he rolled off of you, “Really Joel, I am. I just forget that they’re your kids sometimes until I hear them say something like that.”

“Something like what?,” he asked, turning onto his side so that he could give you a challenging look. 

“Something sassy,” you teased. 

“Sassy? Me?,” Joel guffawed, “Honey, I ain’t sassy.” 

You smirked, “You, Mr. Miller, are the sassiest man I know and it seems that the apples don’t fall far from the tree.” 

“I’m not -,” he stopped, going red as he clocked the sass in his voice, “Whatever, shut up.” 

The laugh you let out was softer this time, punctuated by the way Joel beamed at you before he leaned back in and pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was gentle, with all of the heat sucked out of the room by his spawn knocking on the door, but it still left you breathless. It felt like a prayer, like a promise of devotion that would carry you through the rest of the day. Joel pulled away before it got too heated, hovering so that he could take you in one last time before he sighed and lifted himself from the cocoon of tangled sheets. 

“Time to get moving,” he groaned, giving you a nice view of the contours of his freckled back as he stood up and stretched. 

The muscles shifted beneath Joel’s skin and you turned over, holding yourself up on your elbow so that you could ogle him properly. He turned around much too soon, likely feeling the heat of your stare on the dimples that rested above his ass, and rolled his eyes at your shameless gawking. You weren’t swayed in the slightest, eyes trained on Joel’s still hardened cock as it pressed into his boxers. The wet spot on the fabric made you lick your lips as you imagined how the sinful mixture might taste. 

“Don’t start something we don’t have time to finish honey,” Joel reminded you, his husky voice drawing your eyes away from his crotch so that they could meet his own. 

“Mm hm, what happened to just give me five minutes baby,” you mimicked, kicking the sheets away so that you could crawl over to the edge of the bed. 

Joel sighed as you lifted yourself from the mattress so that you could wrap your arms around his neck and pull his face closer. His jaw ticked as you pressed a smattering of kisses all over his face and neck, the restraint waning as his cock pulsed against you. With a cheeky grin, you nibbled on the sensitive skin below his ear and pulled at his hair, earning a pained growl from him that made your pussy clench. His nostrils flared with annoyance as he gripped your chin, yanking your face away from his neck so that he could get your attention. 

“Baby, that was five minutes ago and now,” his lips hovered over yours, making your heart stutter before he added, “Now, we’re late.” 

And just like that, Joel was gone, untangling himself so that he could stroll towards the closet like he hadn’t just made your pussy drip. Your mouth popped open, confusion soon morphing into annoyance as you watched him leave you high and dry. 

“You’re mean,” you whined, tossing a discarded pillow at the back of his head. 

Joel turned and caught it, cocking his knee out as he gave you a pointed look. 

“And you’re being unrealistic,” he chuckled, throwing the pillow back at you as he added, “I’ve got methods baby, not magic. S’not like I can just make ya cum out of thin air.” 

“Oh my god, are you serious?,” you groaned at him, squirming at his words, “Whatever, go get dressed Method Man.” 

Joel gave you a mock salute, soldiering off into the closet so that he could get dressed. Although you wanted nothing more than to lounge in his bed all day, losing yourself in the solace that his presence gave you, he was right. You were late and Joel’s usual departure time had been surpassed hours ago. The two of you dressed in silence, stopping only to laugh over the poorly hidden bruises that mottled your neck and chest. With the dress you had worn the previous day barely containing your breasts, much less the love bites, you had no choice but to task him with sprinting over to your house to grab a fresh change of clothes. 

Joel did his best, although you couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous amount of options he had torn from your closet when he returned. A skirt, two pairs of pants, three sweaters, one shirt, six pairs of underwear, and no bra was insane, but you supposed that having choices was good - even if those choices didn’t really make any sense. All that mattered to you in that moment was damage control. The last thing you needed was for the girls to see the imprint of their father’s canines indented on the top of one of your breasts, or the hickey he had sucked beneath your ear. 

Joel gave you a lovestruck look as you gave him a kiss in thanks, making you shake your head at him as you drifted into the bathroom to see the full extent of the damage. Although you had spied a few of the marks after climbing out of bed, nothing could have prepared you for the havoc that had been wrought all over your body. With little options left, you sighed and decided upon the high necked dress Joel had snagged from the back of your closet, thankful that the form fitting teal fabric would at least somewhat cover the bruises. 

Not that you minded them really. Each nip that stained your skin was a reminder of Joel, of his filthy words, of the feeling of his cock nudging your clit, of the way his teeth pushed you closer and closer to the edge until you exploded. You sighed as you tried to hide the rest of it with your hair, wishing like hell you owned a turtleneck or a concealer strong enough to hide the discoloration. 

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathed, completely flabergasted by the damage. 

Joel had been so gentle, or at least you had thought he was, ensuring that each sting had been partnered with a sharp pang of pleasure that left you weeping for more. The careful way he had touched you in the water, on the shore, in his bed just moments before, was so doting and warm that you barely noticed the pain. Even his hands, toughened from years of manual labor yet so soft for you, had left angry bruises on your hips that made you weak in the knees. You tried to think of a time where you had felt uncomfortable but came up empty, all you could remember was drowning in pleasure. 

“M’sorry baby, I uh,” Joel winced as he came up behind you, sucking his teeth as you gawked at your nude form, “I guess I got carried away. It’s been a while and you’re just so…” 

“No,” you said softly, turning so that you could turn to look at him, “I liked it. Plus, you didn’t get off scot free either Miller.” 

There were a few purple bruises left beneath Joel’s jaw, along with a nasty set of scratch marks dug into his shoulders. The marks sat small and proud, more modest than his but still acting as a reminder to him and anyone else that you had staked your claim. You smiled, trying not to seem too pleased with yourself as you stared at them.  

“Suppose so,” he said with a grin, blushing as he looked over your head to examine them in the mirror. 

Joel stepped forward so that he could shove his nose into the crook of your neck, breathing you in for a moment before he nuzzled the sensitive skin. You giggled, more than happy to be his hostage for a little while longer. He laid a kiss beneath your ear and you shivered, getting up on your tiptoes so that you could press one last kiss to his lips. 

“Mm good, now get,” you commanded, chuckling at his dazed look as you shoved him out of the bathroom, “You’re distracting me and we’re already late.” 

Joel’s toothy grin was the last thing you saw as you clicked the door shut, leaving him beaming at the wood as you turned to get dressed. He waited patiently for you on the other side of the door, bounding over to you like an excitable puppy when you finally stepped out. You laughed and took his hand, shaking your head at the boyish glee on his face as he led you towards the kitchen. 

The rest of the morning went off without a hitch, aside from the looks the two of you got from the girls the second your feet touched down on the first floor. Ellie seemed utterly confused, a question on the tip of her tongue before her sister jammed her elbow into her ribs and forced her to swallow it. Meanwhile Sarah was ridiculously excited, flitting back and forth in the kitchen as she made an extra plate of breakfast. The four of you ate together in unprecedented silence, with you and Joel ignoring the conversation the two teens were having with their eyes as you knocked knees beneath the table.

“Have a good day at work baby,” Joel said when it was time for the two of you to part ways, giving you a kiss that you wished could have lasted a bit longer. 

The words rolled off of his tongue so easily that you wanted to scream into a pillow like a boy obsessed teen, but as the girls pushed past you to race towards the bus stop, you knew that it was time to take your leave. 

“You too cowboy, now can you please give me back my keys?,” you asked sweetly, holding a hand out for the pair he had swiped from you the previous day. 

However, just as Joel had before, it was his keys that were placed in your hand. You cocked your head at the sight of the pink and green keychain, blinking up at him with a confused look on your face. 

“Use my truck for today, I’ll come switch with ya once the mechanic is done with it,” he said, leaving you with another peck to the cheek before he moseyed off towards your car. 

“What?,” you squawked, nearly falling over in your mary janes as you tried to catch up to him. 

Joel turned abruptly and you slammed into his front, letting out a sharp oof as you bounced off the wall of muscle. He chuckled as he caught you by the waist, quickly straightening you out before you fell back on your ass. 

“Woah there baby, take ‘er easy,” he laughed, ignoring the shakiness in your knees as he smoothed your hair down and straightened the collar of your dress. 

“Why are you - You can’t just - Ugh, Joel!,” you whined, too flustered to articulate the protest that was on the tip of your tongue. 

He shook his head and smiled, cooing at the grim line that formed between your eyebrows. 

“I can and I will,” Joel replied simply as his thumb brushed your bottom lip, gently easing the pillowy skin from underneath your teeth as he continued, “The mechanic owed me a favor for fixing his roof when he was in a tough spot. Figured I’d call it in before ya blew yourself up.” 

“Joel, I can’t let you do this. It’s so kind but I really can’t accept it. It wouldn’t be right,” you whispered, with all of the usual fears about overstepping or asking for too much rearing up again. 

He shook his head, “I wasn’t asking your permission honey, it’s already done.” 

Again, Joel pulled away before you could argue, leaving you with one last breathless kiss that made your heart shudder against your ribcage. He strolled away with a shit eating grin on his face, completely ignoring the breathless woman standing in his driveway as he squeezed himself into the tiny car. 

“Fuck,” you swore, shaking yourself out of it so that you could head over to his truck. 

You turned as your car sputtered to life, giggling at the sight of Joel cursing as he tried to get the stick shift unstuck. When he finally slammed it into reverse you winced at the sound of the low rumbling turning into an all out screech, giving him a sheepish look as his crestfallen face came into view. The wailing of the engine had become normal to you but based on the incredulous look Joel sent your way before he sped off, it must have meant something horrible. 

You smiled and shook your head, feeling warm all over at the thought of your gentle giant crammed inside of a clown car so that he could ensure you were safe. With your mind buried in thoughts of Joel, you sighed and hoisted yourself up into his truck, trying like hell to keep it together so that you could make it to work without crashing. 

- Joel - 

“Jesus, you must really like this girl if you’ve got me out here doing this shit in the middle of the work day.” 

Joel sighed, rolling his eyes as he slid into the passenger’s seat. Tommy was right, but he didn’t need to be so smug about it. Telling his brother about his plans that morning was certainly not on his to-do list but given how late he was, along with how the jobsite he was supposed to be at was on the other side of town, Joel had no choice but to borrow the mechanic’s phone and ask for a lift. Tommy had arrived with his signature sly grin and a thermos full of coffee, wasting no time before he started his endless stream of jabs. 

That morning had been rough, with even some of the older guys joining in on the teasing tirade Tommy was on. Joel tried to ignore it, even skipping certain tasks so that he could escape the limelight but unfortunately, his brother was on a rampage that day. On any other day, he probably would have been able to handle it but after staying up all night to watch you sleep, he was on the verge of screaming at the next person who asked about his little girlfriend. By the time Joel dragged Tommy out of an unfinished home so that he could pick up your car from the mechanic and cheekily drop it off in your driveway in hopes that you would let him take you out that night, he was seconds away from strangling him. 

“Pull in here,” Joel grumbled, pointing towards the sandwich shop where he had placed an order.

“Wow, lunch too? Sheesh,” Tommy whistled, eyebrows wiggling as he veered off into the parking lot, “You’ve got it bad huh.” 

“Would you quit it? She ain’t had anything to eat yet, we were running late this morning,” Joel snapped as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. 

“Oh, is that so? Why were you late Joel?”

It was a simple question, one that should warrant a straightforward answer. However, with memories of that morning still fresh in Joel’s mind, and his brother’s knowing look burning a hole into the side of his face, he found himself at a loss for words. When nothing came, he turned in his seat, glaring at the younger man for a second before he swiftly wrenched the door open and hopped out of the Jeep. 

“Don’t be a dick,” Joel barked, petulantly slamming the door in his brother’s face before he could respond. 

Tommy didn’t mean any harm with his teasing. If anything, it was probably the closest thing Joel could hope for in terms of support. He should be over the moon. His family liked you and they seemed to want him to be happy, or at least less grumpy than he usually was. However, it was already unnerving for him to claim someone so openly, to publicly put himself on the line by admitting he was enamored with you. The teasing only added to the pressure, making his responses snappy and bitter each time the younger man yanked his chain. 

After being single for so long, Joel was completely out of his depth. There had been quips at one point in his relationship with Marlene, but those had faded away long before Sarah was even a thought, likely somewhere between their third or fourth breakup. Since then it had been nothing but dull reminders to get back out there, followed by the usual awkward line of questioning when he managed to procure a semi-regular booty call and had to ask his brother to babysit. None of those women had been invited into his home, much less allowed to meet his family, making it impossible for Tommy to tease him on a more personal level.  

But you? Tommy knew you. He had seen the way Joel mooned over you, had witnessed first hand the obsessive way he followed you around the barbecue like a lovesick idiot. That meant that Tommy had all the ammo he needed to fuck with him, which was a terrifying thought indeed.  

Nevertheless after everything that Joel had been through, he decided that he wanted the teasing, needed it really, along with the deep seeded frustration blooming in his chest as he paid for lunch. It was a good thing, a healthy part of the natural process that he had been benched from for years, something he was working through a sea of emotions to get past. You weren’t them, he reminded himself, you weren’t going to get scared and run off, or break his heart into a million pieces in a way only a friend could and leave him in a newer, more depressing way than before. 

Memories from that morning flashed through Joel’s mind, the feeling of your soft skin against his, the way you so eagerly kissed him back, the sound of you sighing his name, and he clung to them all. He recalled how he had mindlessly grabbed your upper thigh mid breakfast, completely entranced by how squishy and warm it had looked trapped beneath the fabric of your dress, like the perfect pillow for him to rest his head on after a long day. Forgetting about the two teenagers who vibrated with a mixture of confusion and excitement from mere inches away, Joel had reached down and squeezed hard, earning a surprised look from you that made him realize the error in his ways. But just before he could pull away, you grabbed his hand, grinning at him as you held it in your lap for the remainder of the meal. 

Joel smiled as he thought of you sitting at his table, remembering how the sunlight had bleached your eyelashes and made the highs of your cheekbones glow. With a sigh, he pushed all of his usual anxieties away and held on to that memory, letting the past go as he eased himself back into Tommy’s jeep. This time would be different because you were different. The newness and uncertainty of it all was terrifying but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. So, as he shifted his focus back on the passing buildings while the jeep puttered around town, he ignored the childish taunts sent his way, counting the seconds until he could be back by your side. 

- You - 

The morning had started off perfect. Having Joel on top of you, his lips everywhere and his fingers sliding through your drenched folds, was like nothing you had ever experienced. He somehow knew your body like it was the back of his hand, working you up without ever even having to try. Half the time it seemed that Joel was unaware of the effect he had on you, which became clear in the middle of breakfast when one of his meaty hands had slid under the table to greedily squeeze the fat of your thigh. When your gaze snapped over to him, he looked like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar, completely oblivious to the fact that you were trying desperately to bite back a moan. To keep from bucking your hips into his palm you had smiled and grabbed his hand, holding it tight as a reminder to stay on your best behaviour. 

The day had quickly gone sideways after that, but the only thing getting you through it was the thought of Joel. You wanted nothing more than to sprint from the building, racing back towards the house across the street so that you could crawl back into his bed, but it was pointless. The man that had made that space so warm, so welcoming, was gone, likely busy at one of his job sites. In all honesty, you weren’t sure what being a contractor entailed but given the defined muscles all over his body, you let your mind wander to thoughts of him lifting heavy things and sawing thick logs of wood. 

Perhaps Joel was busy building someone’s dream home under the hot sun. You thought of how good he looked all sweaty, smiling as you remembered how the sweat had dripped from his curls and rolled down his neck as he fixed your AC. Or maybe, as the boss, he was posted up in his office for the day. You imagined Joel looking over blueprints with his trademark grimace, pouring over his work with a laser focus that anyone else would have mistaken for anger. With both equally tantalizing scenes in mind, you chuckled, feeling a bit better as you shook yourself from the fantasy. 

The first blunder of the day had been small, almost forgettable in the grand scheme of things. In your post shitty date, post-Joel, haze of a Friday, you had screwed up the schedule for the week. For whatever reason, you had completely forgotten to book anyone for the opening shift on Monday, ensuring that you were the only staff member there for the first two hours of the day. Although it had been annoying to run around like a chicken with their head cut off until some of the other librarians began to filter in, you had sighed and laughed it off. Afterall, the morning crowd had been nice about it, kindly waiting their turn to check out as you sprinted around the building like a maniac. 

After the first few librarians had taken their places, you thought you were in the clear, strolling back to your office with a pep in your step that had everything to do with the dreamboat you had woken up beside. That is, until a phone call from your local representative informed you that the budget for public libraries was yet again being cut. With a drawn out sigh, you had hung up and made a mental note to rework the budgets, silently cursing every politician in the state as you thought of the already underfunded programs that were about to get slashed again. Still, you had tried to remain positive, reminding yourself that the government being shitty was hardly a new phenomenon, but it was the third hour at work that had truly broken you. 

After spending two painstaking hours reworking the library’s already tight finances, you had been called up to the front desk, pulled from the safety of your office under the guise of a new box of donated books. With a smile back on your face, you had hurried upstairs, thankful that at least there were some community members that cared about free access to literature. 

However, when an orange envelope was suddenly slid into your hands, the stranger murmuring an awkward, “you’ve been served,” you felt every bit of hope evaporate into thin air. As the stranger walked away, you stared at the loopy handwriting on the side of it, knowing exactly who the sender was. Rage exploded from somewhere deep within, soon mixing with shame as you heard your coworkers whispering behind your back. Suddenly it felt like everyone in the building was staring at you, like they were mocking you for once again being stupid enough to try your hand at happiness. Tears blurred the edges of your vision as you stumbled away from all the attention, shoving the letter behind the front desk before you hastened toward the stacks. 

Peter had beat you to the punch, likely employing the best lawyer in town to take you for everything you were worth. But that was the thing that confused you, there was nothing for him to take. In your desperation to escape the life he had locked you in, you had abandoned everything. The cars, the jewels, the fancy sheets, the credit cards - Hell, even the antique lamp you had personally bought for your bedside table had been left behind. Still, that didn’t mean that the summons didn’t terrify you. Although your current home and car had been paid for with funds from your own personal bank account, you weren’t sure if that meant Peter had any claim over them. Could he take those from you? And if he did, what on earth would you do? 

With a gut wrenching mixture of embarrassment and worry making your head pound, you decided to remain within the safety of the literary fortress. The smell of aged books surrounded you, easing the stress from your shoulders as you thumbed through some of the titles. The section you were in was quiet, with nothing but old history texts and the sound of your heart rate slowing to keep you company as you corrected some of the misplaced works. You let yourself get lost in the familiar task, even stopping to read some of the abstracts before you shoved the faded title back in its place. It was boring and mundane, but being surrounded by books had been the thing that got you through the past ten years. Maybe it could get you through this as well. 

“Scuse me miss, I’m looking for a book and I was wonderin’ if a pretty thing like you could help me out,” a deep voice said from behind you, breaking the solace you had worked so hard for. 

Anger flashed through you, making you stand ramrod straight and readjust the hem of your dress. After all that had been thrown at you that morning, the last thing you needed was some chauvinist pig leering at your thighs as you kindly told him exactly where he could stick it. With a pinched look, you squared your shoulders, the venom spewing from your lips before you had even fully turned. 

“Look asshole, I don’t know who taught you how to talk to women but you can’t just -” 

The words died on your tongue, all of the fight evaporating the second your eyes landed on Joel. He gave you an amused look, chuckling as you balked at his presence. For a moment you wondered if you were hallucinating, if somehow you had summoned his spirit to help cope, but the second you smelled the spiciness of his cologne, you put those thoughts to bed. Joel was really at your work, wearing a filthy set of rumpled clothes that somehow still looked good as he swaggered towards you. 

“I-I uh, what are you doing here?,” you stuttered, your voice high pitched and scratchy. 

He quirked an eyebrow, “Did you think I was taking that rust bucket off your hands for good or did you forget about our little trade this morning?” 

“Oh, I…,” you trailed off, shaking your head to clear some of the hectic morning away, “Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry, it’s been a crazy day.” 

Joel nodded thoughtfully, dropping his bag as he stepped into your space and placed his hands on your hips. The heat that rolled off of him permeated the thin fabric of your dress and you leaned into it, drifting closer until you were practically slumped into him. He made a surprised noise when you pressed your face into his chest, greedily huffing at his delicious scent as you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed. There was a second where Joel just stood there, likely reeling from the disaster he had unknowingly walked into, before he enveloped you in a bone crushing hug. You bit the inside of your cheek as he kissed the top of your head, trying hard not to break down into tears. 

“Aw honey, that bad huh?,” he asked as he drew soothing circles up and down your back. 

You sighed shakily, “You have no idea.” 

Joel hummed, allowing you to squeeze the daylights out of him like he was some sort of stress ball for a few more seconds before he slowly retracted himself. You whined but begrudgingly let him go, trying to take some comfort in the fact that his arms were still wrapped around your waist. He cooed at your distress and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, doting upon you so sweetly that your lower lip trembled in response. 

“Eyes on me sweet girl,” Joel said, smiling when you followed his order, “There she is, that’s better. Look honey, I don’t know what’s got you down but I brought some lunch.  How about you take a break and you can tell me all about it?”

“Yes please,” you agreed, earning a small laugh from him. 

“Mmkay baby, how about you lead the way? I ain’t been here for years,” he admitted, letting go of you so that he could grab his bag and gesture towards the end of the aisle. 

Although leaving the solace of your beloved books was hard, you had to admit, having Joel at your side made it a lot easier. He acted almost like a bodyguard, glaring at the looky loos who had witnessed you get served by the front desk. With the grumpy man glued to your back, you were untouchable, his prickly presence shielding you from their scrutiny. 

Joel didn’t say anything to anyone, nor did he have to, he just held open doors and warded off any of the regulars who failed to recognize your frazzled state. He even managed to scare off the chattiest of the bunch, sullenly staring at the side of her face until she excused herself and practically ran back up to the main floor. You gave him a pointed look after that, shaking your head at his antics as you led him into your small office in the back of the less frequented basement. 

“Here it is, home sweet home,” you joked, gesturing towards the drab four walls where you mulled over budgets and timesheets. 

In your defence, you had really tried to make the space nicer, but there was only so much a person could do. The lumpy sofa had been adorned with a few colorful knit blankets that helped offset the terrible shade of piss yellow, while the walls were filled with paintings that somewhat distracted from the peeling wallpaper with faded bundles of flowers all over it. The coffee table that the previous librarian had left behind was scratched and wobbly, the ancient piece of furniture undoubtedly a product of some kid’s woodshop project, but the books and nicknacks on it made it look a little less pathetic.   

It wasn’t all bad though. Your desk was nice, although the glossy wood was covered in stacks of paper and scribbled reminders. The horrendous ceiling light had been unscrewed after your first day, replaced by a plethora of lamps that bathed the room in a warm glow rather than the migraine inducing fluorescents. A few plants lined the tiny window and an oil diffuser pumped lavender into the air, hiding the mustiness that plagued the rest of the basement. Overall, the office wasn’t a complete dump anymore, though you knew it still miles away from being impressive. 

“I like it,” Joel said as he slid onto the couch, grunting as his tailbone undoubtedly smacked against the soft spot where the frame of it stuck out. 

“Listen, I tried my best. We can’t all be literal homemakers Mr. Contractor-man,” you sighed as you plopped down on the other side of it. 

Joel’s brows pinched together as he looked at the space between you, glaring at the singular couch cushion that separated you like it had personally insulted him. He shook his head after a moment and then launched forward, making you squeal as he grabbed you by the hips. His hands batted yours away, ignoring your protests as he dragged you closer. 

“There we go, that’s better,” Joel murmured, smiling as he rearranged your limbs so that you were pressed into his side. 

“You didn’t have to do that Joel,” you said quietly, feeling your cheeks grow warm under his careful vigilance. 

“S’got nothing to do with you baby. I just missed ya,” he responded. 

The way Joel said it, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, was so nonchalant. It was like the comment was nothing, but it meant the world to you. Although you weren’t sure how long his break was, it was definitely too short to be driving across town to have lunch with a woman who was once again a disaster. But Joel hadn’t shied away from your obvious turmoil, remaining strong in the face of danger. Undeterred by the sour look on your face and the way your shoulders slumped under the pressure, he had found a way to somehow make you feel better, even if it wasn’t a part of his original plan. That wasn’t nothing, that was everything. 

“Okay so, I know that this is a bit repetitive but I wasn’t sure what your usual takeout order is. I thought maybe Indian food but some people don’t like spice, sushi was way too risky, and pizza just felt more of a Friday night dinner type of thing,” Joel sighed as he dug through the bag. 

You giggled, “A Friday night dinner type of thing? God, you’re such a dad.” 

“What? That ain’t a dad thing,” he argued, shaking his head at the jest, “I mean sure, I order it for me and the girls on Fridays usually, but that’s just a coincidence.” 

“Sure.” 

Joel sucked his teeth, ignoring the comment as he muttered, “Whatever, here. I figured sandwiches were a safe bet.” 

He pulled out the two wrapped subs out of the bag, along with a package of cookies that made your mouth water and a can of coke he tossed your way. You snatched the sweet treats out of his hand, tearing the bag open so that you could get a mouth full of chocolatey goodness. 

“Dessert before dinner? Were ya raised in a barn or something?,” Joel whistled, taking the other cookie and chomping down despite his comment. 

“Raised in a barn? Seriously? That’s pure dad right there,” you joked around a mouthful of food, getting an eye roll from him in return. 

There was an easy silence after that while the two of you ate, enjoying the simple pleasure of being in each other’s presence as you both devoured the meal. The sandwiches were just as delicious as the cookies and you were surprised at how quickly you inhaled it. With how stressful the morning had been, you hadn’t even realized the appetite you had worked up. 

“Holy shit, that was good,” you sighed as you sat back, thankful that your tummy wasn’t confined to the tight dress pants you debated on wearing, “I didn’t even realize how hungry I was, thank you Joel.”

“No need to thank me darling, I wanted to see you for a bit. Plus, I figured that I should probably bring ya something since I was the one that made us late,” Joel said apologetically, waving off the praise as he took the can of coke from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. 

“Hm yeah, I had bigger things on my mind this morning,” you said wryly, wiggling your eyebrows at him. 

He grinned mischievously, “Big huh?” 

The laugh you let out at that was loud and rough, bouncing off the walls as the knot in your throat finally loosened. Joel's face softened, his body relaxing a bit at the sight of you happy once more. Contentment radiated off of him, the pride he felt for making you smile evident in his pleased look. When you were done, he took one of your hands in his, bringing it up to his lips so that he could kiss the back of it.  

“Wanna talk about it now?,” Joel tried, 

You sighed, taking a second to stare down at your entwined hands before you nodded. Although talking about it was the last thing you wanted to do, you knew that Joel was probably the only person in the world who could make you feel better. He soothed your nerves by just being near, his presence acting like liquid vicodin injected straight to your veins. So you began, letting the floodgates open as you fidgeted with his thick fingers. 

Joel let you talk, letting out nothing but a few disgruntled noises and sympathetic hums as you did. He let your words sit for a moment when you were done, leaving you to simmer as you tried to forget the embarrassment of being served at your place of work. You were completely mortified, utterly distraught as you started to ramble about all the nasty things that the other librarians were probably saying about you, but Joel wouldn’t have it. After only a few seconds of self deprecation, he tore you from your seat, a grimace on his face as he pulled you onto his lap. You let out a yelp, surprised but not unwilling as you straddled him. The fabric of your dress rolled up a bit, revealing a few inches of skin that he brushed his hands over absentmindedly before they came to rest on your hips. 

“M’sorry honey, but you gotta know that none of that is true. You’re smart, kind, beautiful, and so fucking incredibly impressive that all of those librarians are probably just shocked someone would be stupid enough to let you go,” Joel said softly, sincerity laced in every syllable.

“Stop,” you croaked, looking away as your face grew warm, “You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it. Look at you baby, how could I not? Christ, I don’t know how I got so lucky to meet someone as perfect as you, but I thank my lucky stars every day that I did,” he argued, pulling your chin so that you were looking at him as he asked,“What can I do? Tell me baby and I’ll make it happen.”

Shock, hope, gratitude, want, and need bloomed inside of you, along with something more elusive that you had yet to figure out. What could Joel do? You wanted to laugh. He was already doing it, tearing apart the ugly bitterness that threatened to swallow you whole by just being him. 

“Nothing,” you sighed, knocking your forehead against his as you added, “You’re already doing it. Just keep being you and I’ll be okay.”

A flush rose to Joel’s cheeks, spreading down his neck until it disappeared under his collar. His eyes gleamed with delight as he gave you a boyish grin that was filled with hope. Your heart stuttered as one of his hands cupped the side of your face, his thumb caressing the underside of your jaw as he leaned in. 

“But I can do more than that baby. Please, I’ll give you anything, just tell me,” Joel whispered. 

The desperation in his voice was heartbreaking, the request not unlike the prayer of a broken man pleading for salvation. You blinked at him, overwhelmed by the awe inspiring devotion that the man seemed to inexplicably have for you. Before you could think better of it, you grabbed Joel’s face and pressed your foreheads together, lips inches away from each other as you gazed upon him. His eyes locked on yours, the mixture of reverence and desire present in those pools of melted chocolate igniting a fire between your legs. 

“All I need is you Joel,” you admitted, no longer afraid to say it aloud, “Can’t you see that?”

Joel didn’t have a chance to answer before you smashed your lips against his in a bruising kiss. He groaned as your hands crept up into his hair, pulling on the sweaty strands as your tongue slipped into his mouth. Unlike the kiss you had shared in his driveway that morning as you said goodbye, this one was downright filthy. The desperation the two of you felt was palpable as hands roamed unabashedly, tongues tangling as you both tried to douse the desire that had been building since sunrise. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered when he pulled away, hips twitching as he placed sloppy open mouthed kisses to the bruises on the side of your neck. 

“Mmm, no time for that honey, but I can think of something else I could do for ya,” Joel teased, giving your jaw a playful nip before he pulled away. 

“What do you m- Ah!,” you shrieked, the high pitched squeal soon turning into a girlish giggle as your back hit the couch cushions. 

Joel grinned as he climbed overtop of you, giving you another earth shattering kiss that left you breathless once more before he drifted down the length of your body. He wasted no time pulling your dress up the second you gave him permission, yanking your panties off so aggressively that the thin cotton ripped down the middle. You gasped, unable to dwell on the loss or complain as you watched him bring the ruined fabric up to his nose and groan like a wounded animal. Joel locked eyes with you as he shoved your panties into his back pocket and winked, making your belly do a little flip as he lifted one of your legs and started to kiss up the inside of your thigh. 

“Joel, you don’t have to - fuck - I mean if you don’t want to - oooh my god,” you gasped, head thrown back as you felt his hot breath fanning out over your weeping cunt. 

“Pretty sure I want to baby.”

The smart thing to do was to stop him, to remind Joel that you were at work, completely exposed with the door unlocked. However, all thoughts of protesting soon went out the window as he threw both of your legs over his shoulders. His thick fingers pried open your folds and he grinned at the mess he found, watching as you dripped steadily onto the cushion below. He looked absolutely starved, ravenous for you as he licked his lips at the sight of the glistening cunt inches away from his mouth. 

“Aw honey, did she miss me? Look at how wet she is, just fucking drooling for me,” Joel groaned as he splayed your limbs wider, leaving you even more exposed to him, “Tell me what you want baby. C’mon, wanna hear you say it.”

“Joooel,” you whimpered, unable to even buck your hips at him as he trapped them against the cushion below, “I need you. Please, please, please, just touch me baby.” 

Joel made a feral noise, growling like an untamed beast as he flattened his tongue and dragged it up the length of your pussy. He sighed at the taste, cursing as he broke and shoved his face into your center. Every bit of Joel’s patience disappeared as he devoured every inch of you, with him making ridiculously lewd sounds as he practically made out with your sopping cunt. The cries you let out in response to his passion were high pitched and loud, undoubtedly echoing throughout the basement as your entire body shook with delight. 

You tried and failed to get a grip on the cushion below, needing something to hold on to so that you didn’t fall off the face of the earth, but Joel was already one step ahead of you. He tore your hands from where they scrabbled against the upholstery, directing them into his curls so that you could yank on them as much as you pleased. Shaky praise poured from your mouth as his tongue shifted from long strokes to calculated flicks and circles that made your clit jump, causing your thighs to shake around his head. All you could do was bear it, utterly trapped beneath the strong grip he had on your hips and the downright territorial grunts he made each time you tried to pull away from his mouth. 

“Joel, Joel, Joel, fuck,” you whimpered, tears dripping down your face as you tore at his hair. 

Joel groaned at the harsh pull, his hips grinding against the side of the couch in response to the sting. With shaking arms, you propped yourself up and looked down, moaning wantonly at the sight of the devastatingly handsome man who was lapping at your pussy like it was a delicacy. His eyes were sealed shut, brow pinched in ecstasy as he savoured the taste. 

That sight alone was enough to drive you wild but when one of Joel’s hands snuck in between your thighs to prod at your entrance, teasing the weeping hole with two fingers before he carefully eased them inside, every bit of sense flew straight out of your head. You had spent countless nights with your own hand between your thighs, desperately plunging your fingers in and out as you imagined all of the things Joel might do to you. But having his thick fingers stretch you out, the length of them ensuring he could easily zero in on that one spot that made you see stars, was so much better. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, fuuuuck - Joel!” you moaned, practically levitating off the cushions as he worked you to the brink with a practiced ease. 

No matter how hard you thrashed or how loud you squealed, Joel remained unswayed, sucking your clit into his mouth as his fingers pistoned away inside of you. Each stroke was accompanied with a mindblowing suck and flick combination that left you cross eyed and babbling, tearing his hair out at the roots as you barreled towards the precipice. You panted and whined, shaking like a leaf as he took you higher and higher, the pleasure becoming so intense that you briefly worried it might kill you. He grunted as you squirmed, doubling down on his efforts despite your half assed attempts to get away. The intensity built and built despite your pointless wriggling, your pussy gushing all over his face as you cried out his name over and over. 

“Joel, m’gonna - ohmyfuckinggod - you’re gonna make me - f-fuck,” you sobbed, uncaring of who heard you sing for him as you let out a string of coloful obscenities. 

The schlick, schlick, schlick of Joel’s hand increased, making you convulse as his thick fingers hammered against your g-spot. Your clit throbbed from in between his lips, walls clenching around his digits as the pressure grew. He chuckled as you twisted in his grasp and yanked mercilessly at his curls, moving his face away so that he could take in the devastation he had caused. 

“Look at me honey.”

The command was soft but demanding, Joel’s voice giving off a gentle authority that had you snapping your head downwards to take him in. It took a moment for you to blink away the tears in your eyes but when you did, you couldn’t help but give him a breathless smile. He was so pretty with his hair askew, his eyes bright and lively as your juices dripped down his chin. The sight of him was incredibly beautiful, it was utterly depraved, it was world ending, and it was, most of all, something you wanted to see every day for as long as he would have you. 

“Joel,” you whispered, chest heaving as his fingers continued to drill into you. 

“I know baby, I can feel her squeezing my fingers,” Joel swore, nipping the inside of your thigh as his hips continued to grind against the upholstery, “S’okay though honey, m’not gonna make ya beg for it this time. Wanna see this tight little pussy fucking gush. Let me have it pretty girl.” 

Joel didn’t waste any time leaning back down to take your clit in between his lips, sucking it so hard that your mouth fell open in a silent scream. Your entire body trembled, legs shaking as your clit throbbed and your pussy locked his fingers in place. An obscene wail came from you as the world fell away, eyes rolling into the back of your head as the pressure building in your abdomen finally exploded into toe curling pleasure. He groaned as the first bit of your release graced his taste buds, happily lapping up every bit of it as you dissolved into a puddle of desperate cries and senseless moans. 

Joel kept going until every bit of pleasure had been wrung out of you, until you were hissing and shoving his head away from your core as the overstimulation took hold. You were a complete mess, sweating and shaking as you blindly reached out for him. He had stripped you of all your senses, leaving you exposed and much too vulnerable to be left without his comforting touch. A childish whine rang out in the air, answered by a swift kiss to your outstretched hand as Joel climbed back up the length of your body and blanketed himself over your shaking form. He was just as wrecked, red faced and panting as he looked at you like you were some kind of miracle. 

“Jesus Christ Joel, that was…,” you trailed off, incapable of putting the intense pleasure he had wrung from you into words. 

“I know honey, you were incredible. God, you’re so fucking beautiful, just the sexiest and most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. I’m one lucky bastard,” Joel praised, his honeyed words accompanied with the sweetest of kisses that he laid all over your face. 

The last peck was planted on your lips, the both of you smiling into the kiss like maniacs. Your heart fluttered, the poor organ thumping hard against the walls of your chest as Joel’s hands rubbed the strain from your hips. He pulled away before it got too heated, smiling serenely as he pushed some wayward strands out of your eyes. 

“Better?,” he asked quietly after a moment, the hopeful look on his face stirring the butterflies in your belly. 

“Much better,” you cooed, snaking one hand down to cup him, “But how about now I return the f- oh.” 

The entire front of Joel’s jeans was damp, drenched in what must have been a torrent of pearly white cum. Your mouth fell open, the shock evident on your face as your fingers brushed over his softened cock still trapped in denim. He hissed and bucked his hips away from your touch, the sensitivity making him grind his teeth together. You blinked as a small heartbeat started between your thighs, lust taking hold again at the thought of Joel Miller cumming in his pants like a horny teen as you fell apart on his tongue. 

“M’sorry sweetheart, you just tasted so fucking good and the way you were pulling my hair was - mmpphh-”

Joel groaned as you yanked him into another kiss, dropping down so that he could meld his body into yours. He pinned you against the cushions, the pressure of his weight forcing all remaining tension to dissipate as he claimed your mouth with his own. By the time he pulled away, you were drunk off of him, utterly intoxicated as he crowded all of your senses. 

“Never fucking apologize for that Joel,” you scolded when he broke away, pushing back some of the hair that flopped onto his forehead with a proud grin, “I made you do that? Without even touching you? Fuck, that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“Jesus honey, you don’t even know what you do to me. M’going wild trying not to pounce on ya every chance I get. S’all I can think about,” Joel admitted, shaking his head at the thought of it. 

“So pounce cowboy, I can handle it,” you said with a wink. 

Joel grinned in response, making you giggle as he leaned down and nuzzled at your neck. You shoved your hands beneath his shirt, rubbing the tension from his back and shoulders until he was mumbling sleepy praises into your ear. The room was silent, save for the sound of the oil diffuser pumping out fragrant air, but you didn’t mind it. It was refreshing to simply exist with someone else, to lounge with and appreciate a lover without feeling the need to converse, to allow yourself the indulgence of being held, to somehow know that he felt the same. Although you knew it was way past time for him to leave, you selfishly clung to him, answering his mumbled praises with sweet nothings that made him grin against your skin. 

“Come to Tommy’s with me tonight,” Joel said after a while, pulling back when you made a confused noise, “The girls are going to a school dance so it’ll just be us and them, but I promised that I’d go. It might suck but uh… I think if you went it’d be fun. What do ya say?”

“Are you inviting me to this dinner because you really want me there or because you don’t want to be left alone with your brother?,” you asked with a raised eyebrow. 

He grinned wryly, “Can’t it be both?” 

The look on your face made Joel laugh and you joined in, shaking your head at his attempt to escape his younger brother’s taunts by bringing a buffer. You didn’t mind, remembering how friendly Maria had been, and how kind her loud yet sociable partner had been. In truth, your Monday nights usually consisted of you making a subpar frozen meal and flipping through the channels until the clock struck ten. At times the girls would come over to break that routine but even still, the night ended with you going to bed alone for yet another night. The thought of socializing with people your own age, of spending more time with the handsome man who had just devoured you whole and perhaps even slipping into his bed for another night, was incredibly attractive and you found yourself accepting before you could give it another thought. 

“Yeah?,” he asked hopefully, a wide grin plastered across his face as excitement took hold. 

You nodded, “Yeah.” 

Joel sighed like a ton of bricks had just been lifted from his shoulders, groaning a muffled thank god as he let himself collapse against you. The two of you laid like that for far too long, melded together for well over an hour before you both remembered it was the middle of the workday. He left soon after that, going white and nearly falling off the couch as he mumbled something about his brother being pissed. 

You tried your best to help Joel clean off the front of his jeans before he left, only for the both of you to realize that the damage was pretty well irreversible. In the end, the best either of you could do was have him hold his empty tote in front of his crotch as you snuck him out the back exit. He was nearly around the corner of the building before he turned around, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he lifted his hand in the air, and then he was gone. 

With the promise to come pick you up after work, Joel had returned to work and left you with nothing but passion filled memories. You stayed in the doorway for a few minutes after he was gone, smiling at the corner where he had turned to wave goodbye for far too long. There was so much left for you to do before the end of the day and yet, you couldn’t help but dwell on his absence for just a few seconds longer. 

The morning had been absolute hell, a true test of your ability to cope and you had almost failed. With your entire being buzzing with anxiety, your blood boiling, and your fingers gripping every book you came across far too tightly, Joel had found you. If it were anyone else, you would have cast them aside, demanding they leave so that you could withdraw into isolation for protection. 

But what you felt for Joel was more than anything you could put into words. It was a kind of familiarity, the feeling of a missing piece finally crawling home, the terrifying and ecstatic notion of being truly known by someone. It was nothing and everything all at once, which left you no choice but to stand there and yearn for a few more moments before you tore yourself away and returned to work. 

- 

The sight of Joel leaned up against the side of his truck was like something out of a dream. His hair was pushed back with just a hint of gel, while his grimey work clothes had been replaced with a clean pair of jeans and a black t-shirt that showed off his biceps. You skipped over to Joel after waving goodbye to the rest of the staff, ignoring the looks of intrigue as you hastened your pace and planted one on him the second you reached him. He chuckled as he followed your lead and treated the audience to a show, even giving you a little dip that made you giggle before he pulled away. 

“Hey,” Joel laughed, looking dazed as he helped you stand upright again. 

“Hey,” you giggled, playfully nipping at the hands that attempted to fix your more rogue strands.

There was no point in Joel trying to straighten up your hair, you had learned that hours ago when you tried to tame the unruly locks in the employee bathroom. If he wanted every piece to sit perfectly on your head, he probably shouldn’t have feasted on you like you were a four course meal in the middle of the workday. With all sense of cooperation literally fucked out of your hair, the messy updo you had wrangled the disaster into was the best you could do. 

“Ready to go?,” he asked, getting a giddy nod from you. 

“Yeah but uh, where’s my car? I was going to grab something from the trunk but I can’t see where you parked it. I thought you said you got it fixed this afternoon,” you questioned as you scanned the nearly empty parking lot for the tiny blue hatchback. 

“Oh, I dropped it off at your house and had Tommy drive me over for lunch. Figured we’d only need one car if you agreed to tag along,” he answered. 

“And if I hadn’t?,” you prodded, laughing at the bashful look he gave you.  

“Well shit, I guess I would’ve been begging for forgiveness then darling,” Joel mumbled. 

The awkward look on his face soon morphed into a small grin as you cackled. It had been ballsy for him to assume that you would accept the invitation but you had to admit, you kinda liked it. Joel had made space for you in his life without even thinking about it, acting as though your presence in his future plans was a given. You imagined being able to do the same, to make plans with the knowledge that your handsome neighbour would accompany you without question. After ten years of marriage where you had been forced to beg for his attention and attendence to things that mattered to you, Joel’s forwardness was like a breath of fresh air. 

“Alright, but only because you’re cute,” you cooed. 

“Hmm good, because I can’t even imagine what kind of talking to I’d get if you didn’t come. He’s some cross with me after our visit this afternoon,” he sighed. 

You cocked your head at him, unsure of who Joel was referring to. Who on earth would be mad at him and what did it have to do with his visit? However, after wracking your brain for an answer, you looked at the truck that had been sitting in the parking lot since opening and it clicked.

“Joel!,” you admonished, smacking him on the chest as you realized what he had put the younger man through, “How long was he out here waiting?” 

“Ow! Would you stop it, you nut?,” Joel laughed, easily wrestling you so that your arms were trapped at their sides, “Don’t worry about Tommy, he was fiiiiine. Plus, s’not like he couldn’t have just driven away if he wanted to. He was the dumbass that stayed.” 

“How long?”

He sighed, “Fine, I told him to come pick me up at one.” 

“Joel!,” you chastised weakly, unable to keep your composure as you remembered how long Joel had kept you trapped beneath him, “Holy shit, we fucking suck. We didn’t even try to get up until like two.” 

“I know. He wasn’t exactly a happy camper by the time I came out but uh… Well…,” Joel chuckled, going red as he added, “The fact that he had to drive me home so that I could change my pants certainly didn’t help my case.” 

“Why didn’t you just take your own truck?,” you asked. 

“You’ve still got my keys darling. I wasn’t about to leave ya without a vehicle or worse, walk back into the library with cum stains on my jeans,” he said with a shrug. 

With your brow furrowed, you reached into your bag to check, gasping as your hands came across a simple braided keychain instead of the metal cactus that was attached to your own set. When Joel had left that afternoon, your mind had still been muddled with thoughts of his talented tongue and sweet words. The thought of giving them back hadn’t even crossed your mind.  

“Shit, my bad Joel. I didn’t even think about it,” you apologized, giving him an awkward grin as you passed him the keys, “In my defence, I was a bit busy trying to make my legs work after you sucked my soul out of my goddamn coochie.”

Joel’s head tipped back as he laughed, his entire frame shaking as he let the boisterous sound fill the parking lot. You chuckled along, a pleased smile on your face as you watched him drop all of his reservations. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking ridiculous,” he panted after he got it together, shaking his head at you as he stepped back and gestured towards the truck, “C’mon, best not to keep them waiting any longer. At this rate, I’d never hear the end of it.” 

The passenger side was opened by him and you stepped forward to climb in. However, just as you were about to clamber into the cab, you noticed a small flower pot in your seat. The pot was blue, with yellow bumble bees painted on the side of it that made you grin. Joel had buckled it into the seat like it was precious cargo, inexplicably strapping it down despite the fact that the truck was stationary. Laceleaf grew out of the dirt, the red blossoms making you smile as you carefully released the plant from the confines of the seatbelt. 

“Where’d you get this?,” you breathed, grinning wide as your thumb rubbed the waxy leaves. 

“There’s a store in town that sells flowers and other plant stuff. M’not gonna lie, I was just gonna get you roses, but then I saw this one all by itself and I just figured…,” Joel stopped, cheeks growing red as he let the rest hang in the air.  

“That it’d be lonely,” you finished, throat thick with emotion as he nodded once in response. 

That was not the way Joel Miller’s brain worked, you knew it down to your core. He was not the type to personify plants or feel bad for the runts that were left behind in the store, but you were. His original plan was undoubtedly to go in there for a bouquet, something normative and romantic that you would appreciate. But this? Buying a plant because he knew that you would hate the thought of it being all alone? That was ten times better than any bunch of roses that would inevitably wilt and end up being turned into potpourri after a week. 

“I love it Joel,” you said softly, close to tears as you added a painfully honest, “It’s perfect.” 

You’re perfect, you wanted to add, but refrained in fears that Joel would argue. He couldn’t possibly understand the truth in that statement but if it was the last thing you did, you were going to prove it to him. Joel Miller was the first man that had made you feel safe and wanted in years. And if that wasn’t enough, he was the only one who had actually taken the time to get to know you. After all of that, returning the favour by helping him realize just how fantastic he was felt like the least you could do for him. 

“Good, m’glad you like it sweetheart,” he answered, effectively putting the matter to bed as he took the plant from your grasp and helped you into the truck.  

Joel handed you the cute little flower pot once you were buckled in, leaning into the cab to kiss your cheek before he shut your door and raced to the other side. He practically leapt into the driver’s seat when he reached it, leaning forward to give you another kiss that made you want to kick your feet in excitement. 

“Easy loverboy, we’ve got somewhere to be,” you joked, making him groan as you pushed him back into his seat, “Plus, like you said, I don’t think Tommy would appreciate having to wait around again and I’d like to make a good impression.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Joel sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically as he turned the key in the ignition and veered out of the parking lot, “I guess we’ll just have to circle back to that later.”

Later. 

Just that one, singular word had you walking on cloud nine. There would be a later, a continuation of the passion that grew between you with each passing minute. And maybe, if you were lucky, there would be even more laters after that one. Either way, that one promise had you grinning like a madman as Joel’s hand found your thigh, his thumb brushing the soft skin as the library disappeared in the rearview mirror.  

- Joel - 

Joel wasn’t sure how bringing you to his brother’s house was going to play out but to his surprise, the reality had turned out better than any of his greatest fantasies. There you were, curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, laughing at something Maria said as he watched you from the kitchen. The cutting board where he was supposed to be stationed was abandoned somewhere behind him, his duties shirked as he stood in the doorway. Joel was awestruck, too busy sneaking glances at you carving a place for yourself in his life and rushing over to top up drinks to help his brother finish up with dinner. 

“Christ man, I don’t even know why I asked you to help me. I might as well just do it myself,” Tommy muttered from the stove, side eyeing him as he flipped the buns and shoved them back in the oven for a few more minutes. 

“What? I’m right here, just needed to stretch my legs is all,” Joel argued, granting himself one last look before he turned back towards the veggies he was supposed to be chopping. 

“Yeah, alright.”

Joel rolled his eyes but didn’t say a word, knowing that whatever argument he made could easily be shot down. He was, after all, quite obviously gawking at you from the kitchen, brazenly ignoring the task at hand so that he could watch you bloom. You were magnetic, so absolutely captivating that it was impossible for him not to stare. 

“S’alright,” Tommy sighed, pausing to taste the pulled pork in the crockpot before he added, “I guess it’s better to have ya all dopey instead of having to break bread with a sourpuss.” 

Joel scoffed, “Sourpuss is a bit overboard, don’t ya think?”

“Nope.”

Sure, he had never exactly been cheery or happy go lucky, but sourpuss? Had Joel really been that bad? He supposed that it wasn’t shocking. For years there had been something weighing him down, a deep seeded unhappiness that he wasn’t sure how to diminish, much less acknowledge. It was hard for Joel to admit something was wrong. After all, his life wasn’t awful. By all accounts, it was perfectly fine. Not perfect or particularly eventful, but fine at the very least. In truth, he didn’t know that he could hope for more than that. 

“I really like her, Tommy,” Joel admitted after a while, shocking even himself with the uncharacteristic confession, “She’s just… she’s different somehow. I don’t know why she’s different yet or how I know, but I just do.”

“Shit,” Tommy said, his usually smug grin melting into something more sincere, “Well m’glad you finally made it official. I was worried I was gonna have to go all grade school and ask her out for you or something.” 

Joel chuckled, remembering a slightly more awkward version of himself that had handed his younger brother a messy valentine with the instructions to give it to the prettiest girl in his class. It was a ridiculous plan, especially since the clueless third grader had walked directly to the teacher instead of the girl who had hugged him underneath the jungle gym during lunch. But luckily for Joel, you weren’t Leah Mortimer and he had long since grown out of the need to hide behind his more extroverted sibling. 

“Yeah well, I’m a bit too old to have my kid brother asking out girls for me,” Joel laughed. 

“Good, m’glad you’ve got someone now,” Tommy said truthfully, sighing as he continued, “I’ve been worried about what was gonna happen when the girls leave for college in a couple years. Lord knows how dramatic your ass is about to be. Maybe having a girlfriend will distract ya.”

Joel shuddered, shooting his brother a warning look for bringing up the unthinkable. In his mind, those two were going to be his babies until the day he died. The idea of them suddenly being old enough to fly the coop made his stomach roil. Joel didn’t even want to think about what his life would look like with them gone. Although Tommy did have a point, as he knew that having you around to soften the blow would make the distant future at least somewhat less painful. 

“Maybe,” Joel sighed as he added the chopped veggies to the salad bowl, “But don’t go calling her my girlfriend yet. We haven’t exactly talked about it.” 

“Seriously? Didn’t you just take her out on Sunday? And what about the sleepover? Or um, hello? The fucking rigamoral you put me through this afternoon so that you two could f-”

Joel hushed him then, whipping his head around to make sure you didn’t hear his brother’s booming voice. Luckily for him, you had your head bent over an old photo album, looking very serious as you nodded along to whatever Maria was saying. Although he wasn’t particularly thrilled to have you seeing his acne ridden teenage years, it was way better than having you hear his brother’s jests. If it had been up to Joel, Tommy would have never known about it but with the unfortunate cum stains on his jeans and the embarrassing request to return home to change on the tip of his tongue, he was left with no other choice. 

“Quiet down! Yes, okay? We have done all of that - not that it’s any of your business - but no, I have not asked her to be my girlfriend yet. That would be nuts, I can’t just spring that on her out of nowhere,” Joel hissed through his teeth, close to strangling the younger man. 

Tommy shook his head at him, giving him an almost patronizing look as he turned back towards the oven and took the buns out. 

“Look, all I’m gonna say to ya is this: Whether you’ve asked her or not, that’s what she is. You take her on dates, bring her lunch, fix her shit, and let her hang out with your fucking kids. Ain’t a soul on this earth that would do all that for a woman they’re just ‘hanging out’ with. That’s your girl man, make it official already.” 

Joel didn’t say anything but he didn’t have to, as his brother was already waving off whatever awkward response he was bound to make. His heart throbbed as he tried to imagine it, you agreeing to be his girlfriend and him being able to actually call you that in public. Could it really be that easy if he just got his head on straight and asked? And if he did, what would you say? Joel liked to think he knew what your answer would be, but given his previous heartbreaks, he didn’t exactly trust his own judgement. He sighed and shook himself from the fantasy, electing not to dwell on it any longer as his brother called out that supper was ready. Instead he put it on the back burner, putting on a brave face as you and Maria shuffled into the kitchen.  

“Hey baby,” Joel sighed, reaching out so that he could place his hands on your hips, “Ready to eat?” 

“Mm hmm,” you hummed, giving him a crooked smile as you brushed past him to grab a plate.

Joel frowned as you drifted away but shook it off, following closely behind as you worked your way down the line of ingredients. He took note of the small crease between your brows and the tension in your shoulders but said nothing, feeling the frustration rolling off of you in waves as you made yourself a plate. Maria and Tommy were none the wiser, chatting happily as you put the wall he had spent the past few days breaking down back up. 

Acid burned the back of Joel’s throat as he followed you into the dining room and he gulped it down, his chest tight as you barely acknowledged the chair he pulled out for you. He couldn’t figure out what had caused this shift and more importantly, what he could do to pull you back from the abyss. The woman he had picked up from work had been joyful and chatty, but the person who sat next to him as he tried to choke down supper was a stranger. 

By the time that the dinner was over, Joel was close to throwing up. He helped you into the truck after waving his family goodbye, sweating bullets as you silently took the plant from him and avoided meeting his eye. His feet dragged as he made his way over to the other side, chest tight as he slipped into the driver’s seat. All Joel wanted for you to speak up, even if it was to scream at him for offending you in some way. Anything was better than the sullen silence that poisoned the air. 

There were many times on the ride home where Joel almost broke, where he almost begged you to forgive him for whatever sin he had committed, but he refrained. After living so many years in relative solitude, he wasn’t sure where the boundaries were this early on in a relationship and when he should take it upon himself to push against them. The last thing Joel wanted to do was to make you even angrier, or worse, to make you cry. However, just as he made the last turn onto the street the two of you shared, you finally broke the silence. 

“Joel, can I ask you something?,” you piped up, still not looking at him as you did. 

“Course baby, you can ask me anything ya want,” Joel rushed out, with his heart pounding with excitement and fear. 

“Promise you won’t be mad?,” you checked, wringing your hands together as you peeked over at him. 

Joel cocked his head, surprised that you would ask him something like that. He had tried with all of his might to be more open, to cast away the protective layer of grouchieness for you. Had he failed? However, as he looked over and caught sight of the fearful glances sent his way, he had a sneaking suspicion that this had less to do with him and more to do with the asshole you had once been married to. 

“Look at me honey,” Joel pleaded, grabbing one of your hands before your nails could do any more damage to your palm, “Good girl. Now listen, I promise I won’t get mad at ya baby. Whatever it is, just ask and I promise I’ll answer the best I can. Just talk to me please” 

“Maria was showing me some old pictures and um…. Well, I saw one from when you were in that band and there was this -”

If Joel didn’t know any better, he would have thought that you had seen a ghost. Every bit of life drained from your eyes, your face turning to stone as you looked out the windshield. He watched as your lower lip trembled, your anxiousness soon morphing into all out terror. 

“Honey? What’s wrong? What happened?,” Joel questioned, his own panic taking hold as he took note of your sickened expression. 

“It’s him.”

Joel’s eyes followed your nod, landing on the flashy car parked in the driveway at the end of the street. His stomach dropped, something dark enveloping his heart and twisting it as he realized which him you were referring to. There was only one asshole who would drive an overpriced piece of shit Tesla in the suburbs of Austin and it was the same asshole who had ruined your morning by surprising you with a summons at work. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he muttered, rage seeping out of his pores as he pulled into his driveway.

“Just leave it Joel, I’ll go see what he wants,” you mumbled, shoulders already sagging as you moved to open your own door. 

Joel was up out of his seat in an instant, racing over to your side so that he could take the plant from you and help you down. With all of the in you fight gone, you actually humored his fussing, giving him a wary look as he placed the plant in the bed of the truck and took your hands in his. 

“What do you want to do?,” Joel asked, waiting on your call as he brought your hands up to his lips and kissed the back of them, “Are we making a break for it? Calling the cops to report him for breaking into your fucking house? Or are we going over there to kick his ass?”

There was one option that Joel was partial to but he refrained. You looked about two seconds away from breaking down into heaving sobs and he wanted to do everything he could to stop that from happening. Instead, he treaded lightly, doting upon you and waiting on your say before he acted so that he didn’t break down the last little bit of resolve you had. 

“I can’t ask you to help me with this Joel, it’s too - he’s too��,” you stopped and took a breath, closing your eyes for a moment before you tried again, “Peter is a fucking asshole and I don’t know why he’s here, but it’s going to be shitty. He’s going to be shitty, so I need you to stay out of it.” 

“Okay,” he agreed. 

Another small sigh came from you, a small bit of the tension rolling off your shoulders as his promise put you at ease. 

“But I’m coming with you,” Joel added after a moment, earning a sharp look from you in return. 

“Joel…,” you started, face growing tight with annoyance. 

“No,” he stated, ignoring your scoff as he continued, “Listen, I won’t say a word if you don’t want me to. I’ll stay quiet and won’t engage, but I refuse to let you go in there alone. S’not safe for you to be around a guy like him when he’s all riled up. If anything happened…”

Joel couldn’t even finish, his chest burning as the worst case scenario played out in his mind. If anything happened to you because he was too much of a pussy to stand his ground, he would never forgive himself. The rest of his life would be spent in shame, haunted by the knowledge that he could have stopped the pain that was inflicted upon you. Even if you hated him for inserting himself in the situation, he refused to let you go in that house alone. 

“Fine,” you snapped, patience cracking under the pressure as you squared your shoulders and turned towards home, “But please let me deal with it. I don’t need you giving him any more ammo to screw me over in court with.”

Ouch, Joel thought, but he let it slide, recognizing that you were way too stressed to worry about sparing his feelings. He nodded in agreement and followed you across the street, grinding his teeth together as he climbed the steps to your porch. His heart quickened as you held the door open for him, his rage making it pound as he readied himself to meet the prick that had made you so jumpy. 

However, nothing could have prepared Joel for the man that poked his head out of the kitchen. He stopped in place, an uncomfortable feeling tensing all the muscles in his abdomen as a man who looked to be about sixty rounded the corner. For whatever reason, Joel had assumed the professor you had fallen in love with was younger, perhaps even a master’s student who was tasked with teaching undergraduates before he went on to do his PhD. It was highly unethical either way but the thought of a fully grown man preying upon his eighteen year old students had been unthinkable. 

But as a full blown senior citizen strolled towards you, Joel realized just how wrong he had been and more importantly, just how fucked up your union was. If the mental math he did was correct, the man that glared at him from across the room would have been in his late forties when he met you. He thought of his own daughters and nearly gagged, wincing as he tried to swallow the bile the rose to the back of his throat. 

“Whose this asshole?,” Peter started, making you sigh in annoyance. 

“None of your business Peter, now why the fuck are you in my house? And how the hell did you even get it?,” you practically growled. 

Joel was surprised to hear the venomous hatred laced into every word, having never heard it himself. However, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride that you were already standing your ground. Afterall, he knew how hard it had been for you to get away from him to begin with. 

“C’mon ducky, you should know better than to hide the key under the mat if you want to keep me out. You’ve only been doing that at home for the last decade,” the other man laughed, the sound of it grating to both yours and Joel’s ears. 

“Don’t call me that,” you spat, swiping the spare key from the coffee table before he could grab it, “And that place is not my fucking home, you made sure of that. I live here now.” 

“Oh come on duck, can’t you just -” 

“NO!,” you shouted, taking everyone in the room off guard as years of seething rage exploded into the room, “I said no and I fucking meant it Peter. Either you tell me why you’ve broken into my goddamn house or I’m calling the cops. I don’t give a shit what you have to say, I’m done.”

Peter’s entire stance changed, a shadow crossing over his features as the nice guy act vanished. Joel stood up a little straighter, taking a step towards you as he readied for a reaction. He knew men like him, men that didn’t hit their spouses but still used their size and strength to intimidate them. In his opinion, what Peter was doing was just as bad, just as wickedly controlling as a punch. It was just more socially acceptable because there weren't any bruises left behind. 

However, that didn’t mean the behaviour was without a cost, a cost that Joel noticed each time you grew jumpy out of nowhere. And as he stared at your pathetic excuse for an ex husband trying to scare you, he felt that last little bit of mystery surrounding you float away, the final piece clicking in place at last. 

“You want to be like that? Fine,” Peter hissed, his voice making you visibly bristle, “I come here to see my wife, only to find out she’s been whoring around with some construction worker. Then I let myself into our house to wait, only to have her show up and parade her little boytoy around like a fucking slut.”

“Watch it,” Joel snapped before he could stop himself, the bite in his tone causing both heads to turn in his direction. 

Peter’s face turned red with anger, while you sighed at him in a way that made his heart shatter into a million pieces. It was as if you truly believed the garbage your ex was throwing at you, like you had already decided to make yourself small again for him. The surprise visit, along with whatever had ailed you beforehand, had absolutely drained you and it made him want to cry. You sighed and turned back around, facing your ex with the same resignation as someone facing a firing squad. 

“This isn’t your house Peter,” you argued, almost close to tears as your ex laughed, “It isn’t! I bought this with my own savings and it’s my name on the mortgage. Everything in here was paid for by me, so please go. I don’t care about your money or any of your things, you can take all of it! Just leave me alone.”

“You really think I would give up that easily?,” Peter laughed, creeping closer to you as he added, “I don’t care how many thick headed blue collar workers you open your legs for, you’re mine, this house is mine and the sooner you realize that, the easier this will be for everyone.” 

“I’d rather fucking die,” you shot back, his words reigniting the fury bubbling beneath the surface. 

Joel wanted to cheer, to applaud you for standing up for yourself, but instead he found his own rage taking hold as Peter reached out and yanked on your arm. The sight of weathered hands pressing into your soft skin, undoubtedly bruising it beneath their vile touch, made every bit of sense fly out of his brain. The fire burned brighter as Joel watched you struggle against the harsh grip, yelping as his fingers dug into you. Without even thinking about the consequences, he marched forward and shoved the other man back with all of his might. 

Peter stumbled back a few feet, nearly toppling over the coffee table as Joel shoved you behind his back. He planted his right foot behind him, lining himself up in case the senior citizen trying to catch his balance tried to retaliate. Secretly Joel hoped that he would try, longed for the feeling of his fists connecting with your ex’s face until his blood was splattered across your hardwood floors, but he kept it in. He had made a promise to be good for the time being and he was resolved not to break it. 

“Do. Not. Touch. Her,” Joel commanded, his voice cold and unforgiving as one of your hands gripped the back of his shirt for comfort. 

“Or what, you’re gonna hit me? Go for it, I’ll take you for everything you’ve got asshole, just like I’m gonna do to her. And you,” Peter laughed, the dry hacking cackle echoing throughout the home as he focused on you, “You don’t want to come with me you little bitch? Fine, I can make myself comfortable, you always were so good at making a house a home after all.” 

“What? You can’t do that!,” you exclaimed, ignoring Joel’s attempts to keep you behind his frame as you stepped forward again. 

“I’ve talked to my lawyer and he agreed that it just wouldn’t be right for me to give up such a…,” Peter’s lip curled, giving you a mocking look, “...quaint home. So, I’m going to stay here while I take you to court, but say the word duck and we can go home. I promise that all will be forgiven.”

“Y-You can’t do that, I didn’t use any of your money. This is my house Peter, mine! I bought it to fucking escape you, you can’t just -” 

“Oh, but I can and I will.” 

Joel was at a loss for words, seething with rage yet too inexperienced with marital law to be able to argue with him. His stomach panged at the thought of a squatter taking hold of the home you had put your blood, sweat, and tears into. He remembered watching from afar as you planted the flowers in the front yard, smiling to yourself as the nameless tune you hummed was carried over to him in the wind. The hands that worked in the dry soil, breathing life into the flower beds once more, were the same ones that now trembled as your home was ripped away. It shattered him. 

“Please,” you whispered, the desperation in your voice evident as you finally broke down, “Please Peter, don’t do this to me. I don’t want anything, you don’t even have to sign, just let me have this. I-I can’t start over again, this was my only shot.”

“Perhaps you should have thought of that before you embarrassed me in front of all of my colleagues and friends. Do you know how mortifying it is to have your wife run off? To not know where the fuck she is when people ask?,” he spat. 

“I bet it’s almost as mortifying as walking in on your husband fucking someone else,” Joel muttered, unable to listen to your ex’s tirade any longer. 

Peter’s mouth popped open and he turned towards you, almost like he was shocked that you had told him about the affair. Joel tried not to laugh in his face as he realized just how deluded and self involved your ex was. It was as if Peter truly believed you would still hold some allegiance to him despite his crimes, that you would keep his affair under wraps in fear that it might further damage his reputation outside of Miami. It was ridiculous, so much so that Joel was about to tell him that, before he was cut off by you. 

It started as a titter, which grew into a chuckle, before soon you were keeled over and howling with laughter that was aimed at the man you once called a spouse. Peter took a step back, the fear evident on his face as you cackled with delight. Joel wasn’t sure what was happening either or whether he should step in to comfort you, all he knew for sure was that he was enjoying watching your manic laughter scare the shit out of your ex. 

“Fine!,” you finally bellowed, wiping the tears from your eyes as you spun around and marched towards the stairs, “Fucking fine, just let me pack a bag and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“What?,” Peter gasped, crestfallen as you trudged up the first few steps. 

“What? You think I’m staying here with you? No thanks. Like I said, I’d rather fucking die you unbearable prick,” you called out, ignoring the half assed attempts your ex made to argue. 

Joel watched you go, pride swelling in his chest as you left both men behind to gather your things. He turned back towards Peter for a second, finding nothing but a sniveling dickhead who glared at him with the same contempt of a child throwing a tantrum. 

“She’s never going to end up with someone like you, you know that right?,” Peter seethed.

“Maybe not, but she sure as shit won’t be ending up with you” Joel said slowly, stepping into his space so that he could add, “And if you touch that woman again, if you even think of taking a step too close to her, I will make you bite the fucking curb, you pathetic piece of shit.” 

Joel turned then, letting the words hang in the air as he followed you upstairs. He didn’t care that he had just threatened your ex, or that the cops could easily be called on him for such a particularly violent promise. If Peter tested his patience again, he wouldn’t be able to hold back. So Joel left him before he snapped, climbing the stairs so that he could ask you about what else you might want to bring. 

The sight of you collapsed on the floor when Joel walked into your room, your face shoved into the foot of your unmade bed as your body was wracked with sobs, made his chest ache. He would do anything for you but no matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t fix this. The best he could do was be present and so he drifted over, sighing as he kneeled down and joined you on the floor. 

“Oh honey, m’so sorry,” Joel cooed.  

“What am I gonna do Joel? Where the f-fuck am I gonna go? I-I don’t have any money or family, I have nothing!,” you sobbed, pressing your face into the comforter to muffle your cries. 

“What do you mean? You don’t need money sweetheart, you’re gonna come stay with me,” Joel answered, reaching out so that he could pry your face off the bed and pull you into a hug, “I just came up here to ask what you want to bring over.”

“But I-I can’t just - ugh - Joel, you have kids! I can’t mess with their routine and we’re too new for me t-”

“Baby, the girls are almost adults and they love you anyways. Plus, m’not asking you to move in forever. Well,” he said, getting cheeky as he added, “Not yet at least. This is just a sleepover. There ain’t nothing wrong with me having my girlfriend sleepover for a couple days, right?”

You pulled back from the hug, cocking an eyebrow at him as you asked, “Girlfriend?” 

It was now or never. 

Joel nodded, “Yeah, if that’s alright with you.” 

The small smile you gave him in return made him grin back, the both of you forgetting about the ridiculousness of the situation for a moment.

“You do realize that asking me to be your girlfriend right now is pretty fucked up, right?,” you chuckled, earning a wry grin from him. 

“Sure, but you still said yes so…,” Joel joked as you playfully shoved his chest, using the brief break in the tension so that he could draw you back into a warm embrace. 

The noise you made as he squeezed you tight was so soft, so vulnerable, that it made him want to keep you locked in a little box for the rest of his life. Moments passed where the two of you just clung to each other in the silence of your bedroom, ignoring the monster that lurked in the shadows of your home as you both drew strength from the contact. Joel waited for you to make the first move, holding you until you broke away and looked up at him with teary eyes. 

“I’m still mad at you,” you admitted. 

He nodded, “I know honey, I know. But we can talk about it later, yeah?”

“Okay,” you said quietly, perking up a bit as you asked, “Can I bring my plants? He won’t water them, I just know it.” 

“Of course sweetheart, I’ll start bringing them over now,” Joel conceded, standing from the hardwood with a groan. 

He held a hand out to you and you took it, allowing him to pull you back on your feet. With careful hands, Joel wiped the tears from your eyes and brushed the hair out of your face. The kiss he laid against your cheek made you smile, the sight like a bit of sunshine peeking out after a heavy rain. Greedy for more, Joel placed another on the other side, smiling as your cheeks stretched over a beaming grin. 

“Go save my plants Joel, I’m just gonna pack a few bags and then I should be good to go,” you sighed, turning from him again so that you could shuffle through your drawers. 

“Everything is gonna be okay baby. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but we’re gonna sort this out, I promise,” Joel promised, trying to look reassuring as your eyes met his. 

You nodded and then returned to your task, effectively dismissing him so that you could pack up the few possessions you had. The brave face you put on was commendable but Joel saw through it, noticing the way your head hung low and the weight of the world pressed into your shoulder blades. He let you get away with it for now, knowing just how heartbroken you must be to leave the first place you had to call your own. 

Joel wasn’t sure how you were keeping it together so well, but he was determined to be the type of man you could weather the storm with. Whether it be threatening your ex, or simply transferring your plethora of plants into his home, he would do anything to make sure you were secure. Which was why after he finished moving the greenery over to the house across the street, he doubled back to help you with the rest of your things, resolved in his intentions to be your source of strength if need be. 

- You - 

The move hadn’t been what got to you, or the confused looks on the girl’s faces as you dragged your entire life into their home and crowded their windows with plants. What had gotten you was the cup of tea that Joel had pressed into your hand as you sat completely dejected on his bed, his kind smile shattering you into a million pieces as the stress of the day finally won. He swore as you sagged forward, your mouth falling open with a silent sob before your breath caught and the real cries came. In an instant he was up, rushing off to close the door before the sound traveled down the hall to the girl’s rooms. You tried to stop it, to rein in the agony of having the life you had built for yourself ripped away so cruelly, but it was impossible. 

The situation was made even worse by what you had learned at Tommy’s house earlier that night. And due to the fact that Peter was currently untouchable, living it up in your home while you were stranded across the street, all your anger turned towards Joel. He was your boyfriend now apparently and yet, he had neglected to tell you about the woman who had been such a pivotal figure in his life. Sure, Joel had mentioned losing a best friend, but he hadn’t mentioned that she was a girl or that they had dated. No, you had to hear that from Maria after coming across a picture of his band and seeing the beautiful best friend in question sitting in his lap for the picture. 

It was stupid, but you couldn’t help the jealousy that flared up from somewhere deep inside, the green monster making you want to scream and claim Joel like some kind of animal. Maybe if he had actually said something about Tess, it wouldn’t have been so bad, but the secrecy made your stomach roil. Was it because he still held a candle for her? Were you doomed to compete with his dead ex girlfriend forever, only to lose every single time? 

You had tried to bring it up but unfortunately, Peter’s unthinkable re-emergence into your life had ruined any attempt to pry information out of him. Which left you as you were, gasping for air in between heaving sobs as the day flashed through your mind. Joel hovered over you with a concerned look on his face, not realizing that his presence was only angering you more. Betrayal seeped into your blood and you rubbed your hands raw, wishing you could stop the ridiculous feeling from taking hold. 

“Shhhhh, s’alright baby. M’here, I’m gonna take care of ya,” Joel soothed as he carefully took the mug from your hand and placed it on the bedside table so that he could lift you from the bed. 

With all the strength zapped out of your limbs, you had no choice but to let Joel carry you away, crying into his shirt like a child as he brought you into the master bathroom. You couldn’t remember him ever leaving your side but he must have, as the bathtub was filled with steaming water and sweet smelling suds. He placed you on the counter and got to work undoing your dress, his touch heartbreakingly gentle as he undressed you. By the time he was lifting you up to place you in the warm water, the sobs were gone, replaced by weak whimpers and pitiful sniffles. 

The water welcomed you with open arms, the warmth forcing your tensed muscles to release beneath its embrace. You sighed and leaned back against the porcelain, trying to relax despite the anxious presence in the room. However, when Joel reached into the tub to help you bathe, you flinched, leaving you with no other choice but to address the issue head on. 

“Are you still in love with her?,” you asked plainly, forcing yourself to look at him as you did, “Because if you are, you have to tell me right now or else I’ll never forgive you for it.” 

Joel guffawed, “What the -? What are you talking about? In love with who?”

“You know who Joel, don’t play stupid with me,” you snapped, bitterness laced in your tone as you added, “What I can’t understand is why you wouldn’t just tell me about her if you aren’t in love with her anymore. Why let me find out through Maria of all people?” 

A beat of silence passed where Joel looked at you like you were speaking a foreign language, but you saw it when it clicked into place for him. Surprise took over his features for a moment, before anger, fear, grief, and above all else, pain came to take its place. That pain was what you were afraid of, that he was utterly enraptured with a ghost, a ghost that he would spend his lifetime chasing in other women. Did you remind Joel of Tess? Was that why he had chosen to pursue you? The thought of it made you sick. 

“She told you about Tess,” Joel guessed, sighing when you nodded wordlessly in response, “Honey, m’so sorry. I didn’t want you to have to find out this way.”

“Clearly.” 

The statement hung in the air like a knife, threatening to come crashing down on both of your heads as the silence grew thick with tension. You hugged your knees close to your chest, feeling incredibly vulnerable as he continued to stay silent. 

“Look Joel, I can’t be her. I wish I could be the one you want but I’m not going to be some fucking placeholder for you because you can’t have her. Please, I can’t take any more. I’ll figure something out and leave in the morning, just stop,” you sighed. 

A fresh batch of tears rose to the surface, rolling down your cheeks as you let go of the one person you had seen a future in. The pain was unbearable, but typical. You had lost everything you had worked for in the blink of an eye that day, why not add Joel to the list as well? You bit your lip as Joel got up from his spot on the floor, a fresh sob threatening to tumble out at the realization that this was it, that he was leaving you. 

However, just as you were sure Joel was going to storm out of the bathroom, abandoning you so that you could cry in peace, he did the opposite. A squawk came from you as he suddenly stepped into the bathtub, still fully clothed and uncaring as he kneeled down in front of you. Water splashed out onto the floor, soaking every inch of the space as he plucked your face out of your hands and made you look at him. 

“I am not in love with Tess. I never was and if you think I would do all this for you with a woman whose been dead for nearly fifteen years still on my mind, you’re fucking crazy,” Joel said as one of his hands rubbed circles into the hinge of your jaw until it unclenched. 

“B-But Maria said that you t-two were - and then M-Marlene showed up - and then she died -,” you babbled, words rushing out as you foolishly tried to keep hold of your anger. 

“That ain’t wrong but we weren’t in love, not yet anyway,” he sighed, shaking his head as he recalled the relationship, “Maybe we could have been, I don’t know, but Marlene showed up before anything like that could happen. I chose to be a father and Tess couldn’t… Well, she had other things going on.” 

“I don’t understand, why would you keep that from me?,” you asked as you wiped some of the tears away. 

He looked away for a moment, jaw working as he fell back onto his but and more water rushed out onto the floor. Joel didn’t seem to notice the mess he was making or that his clothes were drenched, focused entirely on some fixed spot on the wall. There was a part of you that was still annoyed with him but you let it go, too tired to allow yourself to hate him for another second. Instead, you sighed and crawled over to straddle him, forcing him to look at you. 

“Things ended bad, real bad. Tess needed me and I just couldn’t be there for her. Then the next thing I knew, she was dead. If I could’ve, if I had’ve just -,” Joel shook his head, the pain clear on his face as he continued, “I ain’t in love with her darling, I’m fucking guilt ridden.” 

“Oh Joel,” you sighed, letting his head fall into your chest as he broke. 

The hot tears that slipped from Joel’s eyes dripped down the valley of your breasts, dripping into the steaming waters as he cried. He wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly as his body was wracked with silent tremors. You hushed him, rubbing his scalp, his back, any part of him that you could reach in an attempt to comfort him, but he resisted. 

“Quit it, m’fine honey. And I’m supposed to be comforting you,” Joel groaned against you, his voice thick with emotion despite his attempts to get away. 

“If you’re gonna be my boyfriend, you have to be able to let me in Joel or else I don’t want it,” you said, tugging his head back so that you could look him in the eye as you added, “I want to be equals, which means we can both cry and be upset but we do it together, not apart.”

“Are you sure?,” he breathed, uncertainty weighing down his brow as he contemplated your words. 

You nodded, “We’re in this together or not at all.” 

“Okay baby, we’re a team,” Joel sighed, his eyes shining as he gazed up at you, “What do you want to know? I’m ready, I’ll tell ya anything just please, please don’t leave honey.” 

“Shh, none of that Joel. You’ve told me what I need to know for now, just don’t leave me in the dark like that again. If you couldn’t tell already, I really hate surprises,” you joked. 

He snorted, “Gee, I wonder why.” 

The two of you laughed, the pain subsiding as you let it melt away into the steaming waters below. When you were ready, Joel scrubbed the day off of you, rubbing all the strain from your muscles until you were nearly unconscious. Nevertheless, you still managed to convince him to lose the soaked clothes so that you could return the favour. With your sluggish limbs, it took you a bit longer than him to complete the task but he didn’t seem to mind, allowing you to maneuver him until you were satisfied. 

Joel helped you out of the tub once the water had gone cold, shaking his head when you tried to reach for the towel rack to clean up. After drying the both of you off, he pulled a ridiculous amount of towels out from under the sink and dropped them on the mess, waving your concern off as he ushered you into the bedroom. Unlike last time, Joel didn’t bring you any pajamas to sleep in, perhaps understanding that you needed to feel his skin against yours to keep from weeping again. Instead you let him hold you, curling into his side and listening to his steady heartbeat as sleep threatened to take hold. 

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I know you,” you whispered, meaning every single word. 

The sentiment was the best you could do for now, but you hoped that he would understand what you truly meant. 

“I’m glad to know you too honey, it’s probably the third best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Joel murmured after a moment. 

You smiled, knowing exactly who the other two people on that very short list were. To be placed on the same list as Sarah and Ellie was the highest of praises in Joel Miller’s handbook and the enormity of such a statement from him was not lost on you in the slightest. Unsure of what to say, you turned your face and kissed his chest, feeling ten times lighter as he held you tighter in response. 

“Goodnight Joel.”

“Night baby, get some sleep.”

There was still so much to discuss and yet, that night you slept like a baby, shielded from the horrors of the outside world by Joel’s presence. All of the worries of the day slipped away as you dreamt, with nothing but thoughts of him racing through your mind until a strong set of hands eventually shook you awake again. 

[thezombieprostitute]

A Cornucopia for You!

From: @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Jake Jensen; idiots in love; academia; fluff

You’d never heard of field trips in college before. Especially not in your undergrad, or even graduate school, but when the new dean of the college was instated, he insisted on taking all faculty out ice skating.

It probably had something to do with his need to show off his understanding of inertia, having been a physics professor before his promotion. Well, either that or his want to show off his former figure skater of a wife, making everyone watch as she demonstrated her spins.

It was pretty cool, you had to admit, but what was a little difficult was to watch how much they truly loved each other, skating together effortlessly on the ice, much like several of the other faculty members and their spouses in attendance. You couldn’t blame them, though. The snow falling softly around the outdoor rink, glimmering in the warm glow of bulb lights strewn across the whole venue made for not just a beautiful, but quite a romantic atmosphere.

It made your heart twist with the want for something like that one day, but for now, you were content with yourself. That and the sight of the small hot cocoa stand off in the corner of the area. A warm, sweet drink sounded ideal on a day like today, and to lift your spirits just a little from getting in your own head.

The line was thankfully short, and after putting in your order, you grabbed your card to hand it to the attendant, who responded with a wince.

“So sorry, we’re actually cash only.”

You sifted through your wallet, not a bill in sight. Hardly anyone used cash anymore, but maybe you could scrape together some of the spare coins you had? Just as you started to feel the pressure that you were going to take way too long to do that, though, the man in line behind you stepped forward, handing money to the cashier.

“Um, I’ve got hers and I’ll take another hot cocoa and one of those snowman cookies, please.”

You looked over your shoulder to be met with a sheepish gaze.

“Oh- thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that. I owe you one! Say the word and I’ll pay you back, you take Venmo? Something else I can do?”

He gestured his head to the side for the two of you to wait near the drink pickup area and you walked ahead of him to turn around. In your initial shock at his kind gesture, you hadn’t even taken in the features of your savior. He was tall, with outdated frosted tips that somehow fit with his goatee and glasses. Sure, he was a little nerdy, but wasn’t anyone who worked at a university? And it was all topped off by the most adorable rosy cheeks and nose. He smiled again and spoke, his warm breath in the air fogging up his glasses.

“You can repay me by just chatting? I’m Jake. Jensen. From computer science.”

You returned the gesture, but then another realization hit you. “Oh my gosh! You’re the guy who emails us so kindly! I’m the one who acquires the papers you need for research!”

Jake knew you were so sweet from your nice replies to him. The other librarians hardly had the encouraging notes you did, even if it was only over email.

He rubbed the back of his neck, in disbelief that his campus crush was actually before him.

“If I knew you were so cute, I would’ve hauled my ass down to the library more,” he murmured, followed by wide eyes at what just slipped out of his mouth.

“I- I didn’t me-“ he was cut off by your giggle.

“Don’t worry, I- okay how about this: you and me split that snowman cookie and you don’t have to apologize for speaking your mind… because I think you’re pretty cute, too.”

I get TWO cornucopias?! Thank you @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory!!!

Probably my favorite part about this story is that it's kindness that wins the day. The fact that they "know" each other already for their kindness in their work emails is just so perfect!!! 🥹

Wanna snuggle up close to him and stay there for the rest of the field trip!