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spiderling-space · 3 years

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This idea is inspired by @zozobegone ‘s this post

Setting: Grim goes platonic yandere mode when he realizes MC is going to go back to their world

It is written from Grimm's perspective

Italics indicate thoughts

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The Great Grimm

Warning: Unhealthy dependency and friendship

"Henchperson, give me those candies!" Grimm ordered (Y/N) after trying so many times to reach the top shelf.

"Aw, you couldn't reach yourself?" (Y/N) had seen Grimm jumping and trying to climb to take the candies. They didn't do anything but watch him fail for the last 10 minutes, they couldn't help themselves as he was being so cute. "What's the magic word?"

After grumbling a little, Grimm spoke coercively, "Please..."

"That's a good boy!" They patted him on the head before grabbing the candies and giving them to him.

He started devouring them the moment he got his hand on the candies. He thanked them quickly before focusing entirely on his food. They were just so delicious, he couldn't resist it!

"Honestly Grimm, what will you do once I'm gone?" They sighed as they took a seat in the kitchen.

The words didn't register for Grimm at first. "Eh?" He stopped eating for a moment and looked at them. "What nonsense are you babbling about?"

"Hmm? Oh! Well, you know, it's been months and lots of progress have been done. Crowley finding a way for me to return home is right around the corner." They spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That birdman doesn't do anything but whine and pin all the tasks on us."

"I convinced him to do the actual work and he made a progress on finding a way for me to go home." (Y/N) stood up, walking toward him and kneeling to his height. "I'll give you a secret, I haven't told anyone this." They gulped before smiling, "Crowley found the way for me to go back. We just need ingredients and get some tests done then I'll be able to go back. I haven't told others about it yet because I wanted to have something concrete but since you are like my second family, I wanted you to know first."

Huh, he thought.

Grimm continued eating, ignoring what (Y/N) had said who got up and left the kitchen after sharing their secret. At that moment, it didn't bug him at all since he thought they were joking.

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It didn't even pass a week that (Y/N) started to tell the others that they would be leaving soon and ask their help to get the ingredients and spend their last days together. Meanwhile, Grimm became more and more irritable as the days passed by.

Grimm didn't have a family nor a friend. When he opened his eyes to the world, he was in a back alley by just himself. He fended for himself and decided to become the greatest magician when he heard people talking about Night Raven Collage. He didn't have anyone who supported his dream nor he needed one. He would accomplish it on his own and show everyone how great he was. Of course, things didn't go as planned and he got thrown off the moment he revealed his true self at the entrance ceremony and was even threatened to get eaten. What's worse was that when he returned to NRC, showing the persistence of an NRC student, he was about to be thrown again. That would be the case if it weren't for (Y/N) sticking up for him. He wasn't a sentimental monster and he hated to be called cat by (Y/N) despite his catly activities as they called it. However, deep down he knew it was because of (Y/N) that he became a student in the NRC, getting one step closer to achieving his dream. Heck, he and (Y/N) were considered one student together.

It wasn't just (Y/N) creating him an opportunity that made him care about them, it was everything. They studied together; they slept on the same bed, shared meals and snacks, played games, did homework, complained about the school and students together. Not to mention, how much he enjoyed getting petted, belly rubbed and washed by them. They had each other when no one was around and always stood against overblot student together. In Grimm's eyes, they were an inseparable and astonishing duo; even a family he never had, not that he would say it out loud.

Maybe that was why he was miffed by everything that was going on... What would happen to me if (Y/N) were to go back? Become alone again? Get kicked out of NRC? Have no friends and family? No, that's not going to happen!

As the days passed, the attention he got from (Y/N) diminished gradually, came to a point that he only saw them in classes and when they got back. They were out with another person every day, not sparing enough time for the Great Grimm.

How dare they, he thought while heatedly huffing and puffing on the couch.

Grimm dearly missed the old times when (Y/N) wasn't obsessed with going back. He didn't even receive enough petting last few days nor they studied together. His mind wandered to their time spent together when he noticed something. (Y/N) would leave everything behind regardless of how important it was when he got into serious trouble or got hurt. They would sweep in to save his neck. It just clicked at that moment.

He would get into trouble or injured to get their attention on him. However, then the other minions would gather around them too and their attention would be divided. It was not something he wanted. An idea struck in his head after a few minutes of thinking. As expected out of the Great Grimm, it was a brilliant plan.

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"Oh my goodness, Grimm! What happened to your paw-paw?!" (Y/N) rushed to his side, kneeling and examining his paw.

Grimm grumbled acting as if he didn't want to tell them. "Nothing, Great Grimm is fine!"

"Don't be ridiculous! It looks broken!" The worry on (Y/N)'s face was gratifying since he got their attention back.

"Ask your best friends," He answered with faux melancholy, withdrawing his paw near his chest and turning back as if he would leave.

"What does that supposed to mean?" They asked, confussion evident on their face just like Grimm wanted.

"Azul tricked them into doing his work and asked them to collect all the feathers on the roof. Ace and Deuce took me with them then we got into a fight and I fell off the roof." He lowered his head for extra effect.

"And they didn't even take you to the infirmary?!" He managed to get them riled up.

"It was my fault th-"

"That's not an excuse! For fuck's sake! C'mon, we are going to the infirmary." (Y/N) wrapped their arms around Grimm and lifted him en route to the hospital wing.

"Hey (Y/N)! Do you -"

"I can't believe what you two did!"

"What we did?" Deuce mumbled, fearing their wrath.

"Don't talk to me for some time and at least take responsibility and apologize!" (Y/N) stormed off before Ace could finish his sentence. Both Ace and Deuce look perplexed as (Y/N) marched away. Grimm was looking at them over (Y/N)'s shoulder, taking in their puzzled looks and flashing a grin as (Y/N) walked away.

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For the next two weeks, Grimm continues with his plan.

"I swallowed a lot of soapy water." Grimm said as he was rubbing his belly, it genuinely hurt. Swallowing soapy water was more awful than hurting his paw.

"Azul! You promised to not do this and shame on you Jade, Floyd!"

3 more down, plenty to go...

"Leona, have you seen Grimm? He is way smaller than you! How couldn't you realize what your claws would do on Grimm?"

"Ruggie, Grimm got food poisoning because of you! You could have just stolen his food instead of replacing them with expired ones."

"Jack, I've never expected this from you. I'm very disappointed."

"What? What are you talking about?" Jack asked hastily but it fell on deaf ears as (Y/N) didn't even listen to him, grabbing Grimm and leaving them standing.

Woo hoo! My plan is working fantastically!

"He could have died Kalim if it were higher!"

"Jamil, I thought you would stop making people poison taste. Grimm has been puking all day long because of you!"

Grimm grinned wickedly as he was once again carried by (Y/N).

Wait until I'm done with all of you! HAHA, You cannot defeat me!

Grimm was thinking of new original ways to distance (Y/N) from the rest of Heartslabyul, Pomefiore, Ignihyde and Diasomnia. The last one would be the hardest as he had a powerful competitor who also sought (Y/N)'s attention but it didn't matter, Grim would be the only one!

That was what he thought until Birdman came bearing the news...

"(Y/N)! Good news! All the tests we did on the mirror worked! You can go back now!"

Everything stopped right there and then.

Grimm was so focused on getting (Y/N)'s affection and attention that he forgot about the tests they were doing on the mirror.

Now I am too late...

"My goodness! Thank you! I missed my home so much! I'll start saying my goodbyes!" (Y/N) spoke rapidly, they truly were happy to hear the news.

Happy to leave me all alone!

"No worries, they all gather around the magic mirror, waiting for you." Birdman informed, "Are you coming now?"

"Yes!" (Y/N) said before turning to him, taking him in arms and carrying him outside.

That is not how it was supposed to go...

As they were walking outside before leaving the Ramshackle perimeter, Grimm jumped on the ground.

"What's wrong?" (Y/N) stopped to ask.

"What's wrong?!" Grimm couldn't contain it anymore. everything was too much.

"(Y/N), do you need a moment to say goodbye to the dorm?" Birdman questioned, getting closer to where they were standing.

"Uhm... yes... I mean I spent months here so I should say goodbye to it. You can go, we will catch up in a moment."

With that Birdman walked away, leaving (Y/N) and Grimm alone.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" They asked idiotically.

Are they too dumb to understand?

As Grimm was about to tell them what was on his mind, unfiltered, he felt a power within himself. A power that wanted to surge out of him and he let it since he had nothing to lose anymore.

"You will leave me all alone!"

"But you already knew that, Grimm. This place isn't my home and if I took you with me, you would be discovered and people would do experiments on you." Their voice was so soft as they tried to reason with him but none of them mattered.

"We are one student together, you can't leave until I graduate!" The power inside of him grew even more.

"Well, Crowley said he-"

"We fought the monsters together. We are a team, you called me your son!" He could feel that power getting closer

"I-" He wasn't going to let them speak anymore!

"So you see me as a family but you abandon me!" He felt the power leak outside and he didn't even care about it.

"GRIMM!" (Y/N) yelled, taking a few steps back. "I, I, I changed my mind, we will be together!"

"You want me to have no one again!" Grim screamed, not even noticing how his voice changed. "AAAAAHHH!"

Everything went black for a moment and the second he reopened his eyes, everything was different. He was no longer looking up to (Y/N); he now was looking down on them. They were so tiny.

"YOU CANNOT LEAVE!" Grimm screeched when he saw (Y/N) backing and running away. He jumped, landing right in front of them who fell on the ground from the shock and still trying to crawl away.

"G-Gr-Gr-Grim, i-i-it's me! We are friends, remember? I know you wouldn't hurt me because we are family, innit?"

"It is too late for everything but you are right. We are family..." Grimm said, his voice echoing, giving it more menacing feelings.

Grimm was no longer waiting for (Y/N) to understand that they couldn't leave him. He had no intention of waiting anymore. He leaned towards them slowly, biting their clothing and lifting them.

It was always (Y/N) who carried Grimm around relentlessly now it was Grimm's turn. Once he was sure that they wouldn't fall, he took off, running away from the Ramshackle, leaving NRC behind.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst grim #twisted wonderland grim #twst mc #twisted wonderland mc #mc/yuu #yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland yandere #yandere twst #twst yandere #yandere #yandere grim

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hyunjilicious · 4 years

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100 ways to say ‘I love you’ Christmas Edition [bucky barnes]

Summary: it’s pretty self explanatory, I guess. (FLUFF) 1.6k

Warnings: absolutely none, just Bucky being cute, awkward and madly in love with you!!

In 2018, you were in Namibia, hunting down an American terrorist that had been on the run for the better part of the year. In 2019, the avengers were scattered around the globe, executing a 'shoot first, ask questions later' type of mission that ended long after the new year began. But this year, all of your friends were home. For the first time in years, the Stark Tower was shining from top to bottom with Christmas lights, carols echoing down all of its long, secluded hallways. It was the first time you'd get to actually spend the night of 24th of December with your true family. That is, if you made it in time. Back on December 19th, you and Bucky got stuck in the depths of Louisiana, with absolutely no means of communication, let alone transportation. You decided to make the best out of the situation and turn it into a road trip, but time flew by so much faster than expected, that it was now 2:13 pm on Christmas eve, and you and Bucky were sprinting down the snow covered empty highways of the east coast, dead set on making it home in time. He wasn't that eager to get back and tried to get you to rent a hotel room and spend the night alone, but you weren't having it. He huffed and puffed about not giving a shit about Christmas, but it was the first one he could celebrate with people that loved him, in over 70 years. With every motel that you passed, he'd turn and look at you from the passenger seat, begging you to stop. You didn't even consider it. You wanted him to have the full Christmas experience. A storm was brewing and you were whiteknuckling the steering wheel, fighting back the urge to yawn for the 3rd time in the last 10 minutes. After driving for 7 hours straight, you were close to passing out, but nowhere near ready to give up. "Pull over, love" he smiled, grabbing your thigh, "Let me drive. I'll wake you up when we arrive"

And of course Bucky refused to decorate. You spent the better half of the day rummaging through boxes and looking up diy tutorials on the Internet, doing your absolute best to make your bedroom as cozy and Christmasy as possible. Candles were scattered all over the furniture, their soft light and delicate cinnamon scent filling up the room, a small Santa Claus figurine was sitting neatly by the window, garlands dripped from every corner and your Christmas playlist was on shuffle for probably the 4th time that day. As you kept busy, lowkey exasperated whenever one ornament didn't fit in as planned, Bucky laid on the bed, making nasty comments with every chance he got. He complained about the music, said the room was too hot, that the candles made his nose feel funny and not for a second did he stop begging you to drop the fucking decorating and join him in bed. You didn't wanna hear it. You kept going, bringing in box after box of ornaments, each one making Bucky more and more frustrated.

"Buck!" you whined, turning around in your hands a little remote controlled reindeer. "His leg is stuck... he keeps falling"

"Throw it into the trash" he scoffed, plopping down on his back and hiding his face in the crook of his elbow.

Of course you didn't listen to him. "No..." you mumbled, more to yourself. You sounded like a child, but you didn't care. Instead, you just sat down on the edge of the bed, all your attention focused on the broken toy in your hands, "I'll fix it somehow"

"Just throw the goddamned thing away, Y/n" he groaned, "Only on my nightstand there are other 3. We got enough"

You just shook your head, focused on getting the reindeer to walk again. It was no use. You got no utensils and your nails were threatening to break as you kept trying to open up his battery container. 5 minutes of painful silence followed, ending with you finally giving up, "I'll just put something under his leg and use it as a decoration" you whimpered, legitimately heartbroken over the toy.

"Fuck, just come here. Give it to me. I'll fix the damn thing for you"

Your heart swelled up, "Really?"

"Yeah..." Bucky sighed, grabbing a screwdriver out of his nightstand and picking up the toy. "Master assassin and I'm fixing toys" he mumbled under his breath and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him and kiss his cheek.

Your version of paradise started just when you arrived at the tower on Christmas Eve. Bucky did as promised and then offered you a weak smile, full of warmth as he helped you out of the car when he parked in front of the Tower. You were beaming with excitement for the days that were to come. When the next morning arrived, you were sipping your coffee on the balcony, waiting for everyone to wake up so that you could all start unwrapping the presents. When the door opened you didn't expect Bucky to come out, as he never - ever, failed to sleep until noon, if given the chance. But there he was, wrapped in one of your comfy blankets, padding over to you with a coffee mug in his hand. When he reached you, he opened his arms and welcomed you against his chest, closing his hold around your body and engulfing you in the warmth of the blanket. It didn't take long until you noticed the little paper bag lodged under the elastic of his sweats, and when you asked about it, he cursed himself for ruining the surprise. He handed you the bag, and urged you to open it, insisting that it wasn't your present. When you did, your eyes landed on a knitted bunny clutching a heart to its chest. "An old lady was selling these a few weeks ago at a boutique I saw while waiting for you to meet me. I know you love to call me Bucky Bunny because you know how much I hate it. I forgot about it and came across it this morning at the bottom of my bag while searching for my charger. Now I think its stupid, a dumb rabbit and his eyes are a little bit fucked up, but he's cute and it reminded me of you, so here you go"

As much love as some of you had for the holiday, it still wasn't enough to convince the whole group to actually watch a Christmas movie. So, in true avenger spirit, you all decided to watch Terminator. After finishing dinner, you all scattered around the Tower. Some people left to change in more comfortable clothes, some helped clean up the kitchen, and some, like Bucky and Thor, remained in the living room, plopped in the middle of the couch, fangirling over Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting and the great sense of humour of the 90s. Eventually everyone gathered around them, you and Wanda being the last ones to show up. She cuddled against Vision's side, but Bucky was lodged in between Thor and Steve, and there was no way you'd ever ask any of them to move. Seeing you eye an open spot, Bucky waved you over as he stood up. "Here, take my seat". You wanted to object but he didn't want to hear it. Eventually, you sat down, and so did he, on the floor, right in front of you. Nonchalantly, Bucky pulled your legs apart and settled between them, with his back against the couch. He gathered your Christmas themed sock clad feet into his lap and rested his head against your knee as the movie began.

And like any other Christmas dinner, of course yours wasn't an exception. Natasha's recipe for apple pie was by definition the best that ever blessed the earth and none of the attendees was any stranger to that. Considering how many of you there were, as you made a point of spending the end of the year together, 2 batches had to be made. It was hectic, everyone fuzzing around the Tower, preparations on tow the whole day. And of course there would be repercussions for the chaotic atmosphere, but you'd only find out about them later. After burning through the first meal courses of the evening, it was finally time for her sweet delicacy to grace the table. Natasha neatly placed the two pies on either end of the table, proudly announcing you could all dig in. Bucky was seated to your right, and he unlike you, managed to grab a piece of pie from the first batch. You didn't think too much of it, until you started eating yours, only to realise the bottom was burned. Despite all of you trying to assure Natasha that it was not her fault and that she shouldn't beat herself up about it, she promised she'd make another one tomorrow. The night carried on as planned, but no matter how much you tried to push away the thought, you couldn't help but feel bitter about missing out on the good pie. Just when you were about to come to your senses and realise what a dumb reason for you to get upset that was, Bucky sent you text, asking you to come to the bedroom. Curious as to what this could have been about, you hurried upstairs and burst into the room, nearly crashing into Bucky's chest. He slammed the door behind you and handed you his plate - his slice of pie only halfway eaten. "I saved you a piece. These are jackals, I had to hide it. Dig in before anyone comes!"

On December 27th the buzz was starting to die down. When you put up the lights in your bedroom, Bucky said they could stay on for two days and two days only, and you reluctantly agreed to make a compromise. Just this time. The time to turn them off came last night, and since he offered to let them on until the morning, you felt like an unreasonable little shit if you were to ask him to turn them on again. It was about 7pm and you were two seasons deep in The X Files, and Wanda asked for your help. Bucky pulled out his phone and assured you he wouldn't watch ahead until you got back. It took you about 30 to help your friend with her problem, and when you returned to your room, confusion washed over you. The Christmas lights were on and Bucky was nowhere to be seen. "Fuck" he grunted.

You turned around to see him behind you, standing in the doorway, two cocoa mugs in his hands, "I made these cause I know you like them. And I wanted to surprise you with the lights but vision is a dumbass and forgot to text me and tell me when you were almost done"

"So she didn't actually need help folding the bed sheets?" you laughed, endeared by his antics.

"Of course she didn't" Bucky shook his head, handing you one of the mugs, "She's not an imbecile"

"Oh my god" you giggled in disbelief as you sat down on the bed.

"I'll squirt shit nuggets out of my ass for two days, so please tell me at least I got the recipe right"

He was so adorable, anxiously waiting for you to taste the cocoa he just made. "It's so good!" you rolled your eyes in pleasure, taking another sip, "Thank you, you're too sweet, Buck"

"Yeah, I know-" he chuckled, grabbing the mug from your palm and placing it on the nightstand. "I got one more present for you. Close your eyes and hold out your hands"

"No, Buck-" you whined, "I didn't get you anything else-"

He dismissed your words in an instant and kissed your lips, before guiding your hands up. You opened them up and closed your eyes, curious about what he could have gotten you. First, you heard him shuffle around the bed, and then you felt something rather itchy touch your palms. You nearly burst into laughter when you realised it was his chin.

"Ok, open your eyes"

And as you did so, your eyes landed on Bucky's face, as he had placed his head on your hands. He was wearing a tiara with reindeer ears, and you couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"You're my present?" you beamed, throwing yourself against his chest.

"My face is the present-" he corrected you. "Guess what it does. Take your leggings off and you'll find out"

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fluff

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milkcrates · 4 years

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tagged by @jingyismom to share 10 things about myself! it was so lovely to read your post to get to know you better!! can't guarantee my answers will be nearly as interesting but I Already Know I'm gonna ramble (sorry in advance) so for everyone's sake I'll continue under the cut~

1. When I was around 8 yrs old, we had this old broom that looked like the one from kiki’s delivery service and I was convinced it was magical, so I used to run around my backyard with it and try to fly. It was kinda sad though bc every time it didn’t work I’d be like “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT BELIEVING HARD ENOUGH” and then I’d try again, thinking ‘this time for sure’, and it. wouldn’t work again. so I’d try Extra Hard and then it still wouldn’t work and eventually I stopped believing in magic LMAO poor cloud :’) but I don’t think I’ve fully grown out of it bc every time I see a broom I’m like... but what if 👀

2. I make playlists for fucking EVERYTHING and most of them are soundtracks to whatever escapist daydream I’m indulging in at the moment, like “songs I’d listen to if I had my own sci-fi spaceship” or “songs for getting stuck in haunted parallel worlds”. And yup, you guessed it, “songs for flying around on a magic broom”. (plus fanfic-writing playlists bc I’m That Person)

3. I love the idea of solo-travelling around the world and meeting new people that way, but really I’m too much of an introvert to be able to do it. I’d probably end up wandering around alone everywhere I go- which actually sounds kinda nice, but I think after a while I’d be too lonely eating all my meals by myself. (Also, having the money? and time? couldn’t be me lmao) But I like to imagine that one day I’ll be able to travel the world with some friends or something! Unrealistic maybe but I can dream 🤧

4. My grandparents live on a farm in rural Romania and I used to go every summer to visit! Cue nostalgic montage of playing with the chickens and stealing apples from the neighbours (sorry neighbours, I was small and hadn’t fully developed a moral compass yet) and swimming in the creek. I don’t go as often anymore because, again. Time and money. Wish I could though, bc I can feel myself starting to lose the language ahh sorry grandma 🥺

5. Speaking of Romania, one time I was hiking in the mountains and it started thunderstorming when we were at the top of the mountain, which was equal parts terrifying and fun bc there weren’t any trees that high to give us any cover. So we were trying to navigate the trail in the rain and then I heard? whistling?? and before you say it was the wind, it Wasn’t The Wind this was like someone whistling a full-on song. But every time I looked around there was no one there and it all felt very surreal and mega creepy. I don’t believe in ghosts but if their existence is ever proven this would be the first thing I’d think of. because wtf.

6. Most of my dreams exist in the same... universe? general area? idk but I keep having dreams that take place in this very large and very confusing university, half of which is in a huge greenhouse, and the other half is all twisty underground tunnels. Not sure how I know it’s a university bc I’ve never dreamed of taking classes there, but idk it just has vibes.

7. Gonna steal a personality trait from @jingyismom and say that I too am very into music, but unfortunately I don't really have any talent for one specific instrument. It's more like, I'm kinda okay at a couple of different instruments– mainly guitar, piano, and alto sax. (and a tiny bit of flute?? but like. I'm Not Good) I was pretty serious about sax for a while when I was doing jazz band!! and I still know how to play all the notes but... I'd probably sound like a goose if I picked it up again now :')

8. I love love love making things with my hands! I made one (1) spoon in a metal-working class a while ago and since then I've been itching to do something similar again, but I don't have any of the equipment for it (especially in, y'know, quarantine). Semi-recently discovered diy how-to-forge-your-own-sword videos and boy oh boy do they make me Yearn!!! imagine! making your own sword! oof

9. oh god these are all so long so I'll try to make these last ones short dskjhds I love How To Train Your Dragon and I have the entire OST memorized cause it's just That Good

10. um. umm ummmmm omg idk anything else. I used to eat play-dough as a kid? lmao

I think I've seen this game go around a bit so I'm sorry if you've already been tagged but- @sheeptopus, @milkoolongtee, @aurltas, @fantasiavii bc I'd like to get to know y'all better 🥺 BUT absolutely no pressure!! also no pressure to write as much as I did I just don't know how to shut up

and to anyone else that wants to do this, pls consider yourself tagged (if you think I'm not talking about you, I'm Talking About You) don't be shy!! 💖💖💖

#we all ate weird shit as kids tho #most of these were gonna be abt romania and i was like... did i use up all my Interesting Points(tm) in my childhood??#and now i am potato? Yes #i think past me would be kinda disappointed w how boring my life is now #'you mean you're not exploring the world and saving dragons?' 'nope but hey i'm writing fanfic'#(gets smacked by 7yo cloud)#again tysm for the tag!! i love learning more abt moots! 💞💞#this was fun it felt like a sleepover :')#tag games #not cql

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odd-i-writes · 4 years

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Scheduling Disaster

AO3

Peter had a pretty solid schedule, one that he did not like to mess up, please and thank you. Monday to Friday he had school, so from about 7:30 to 3, he was in class. Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays he had Acadec practice after school until about 4 or 4:30. So, after school or AcaDec practice, Peter was free to patrol, which he did until he was expected home around 6 for dinner. Then, after dinner, he did homework, until about 9 or 10, when he’d patrol again. And on school nights his curfew was strictly at 12:30 AM. It used to be 12, but after missing it so many times he got Mr. Stark to convince Aunt May to extend it, just a little bit.

The only day in the school week that was different was Friday, which was when he’d patrol until about 5 or 6, before going to Mr. Stark’s Tower. Usually, they would have some lab time, eat dinner, and maybe watch a movie. Sometimes they would be in the lab all night, and sometimes they’d skip the lab all together and just watch a movie. Either way, Friday nights were dedicated as “Mr. Stark time.” He usually slept over in the Tower on those nights, mainly because Mr. Stark didn’t like the thought of Peter swinging home in the early hours of the morning, and Happy had woken up at 4 AM just to drive all across New York City one too many times. Either way, it meant that Saturdays were typically spent sleeping in, eating breakfast with Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark, spending some more time with the man, usually in the lab, and doing homework. Occasionally he’d hang out with Ned and, or, MJ on Saturdays too. Then, starting around 8 or 9 PM, he’d start his patrol. Saturdays were the only night where his curfew was mostly non-existent, as long as he texted Mr. Stark hourly updates. Technically it was 3 AM, and Peter was home in bed most Saturdays before that, but sometimes he stayed out later. What could he say? The city needed him. Sunday was dedicated for homework and spending time with Aunt May, and then patrolling at night with his usual curfew.

All this to say, Peter liked his schedule. Everything had a place and was timed out specifically so that he would have time for everything. Being a teenage superhero was hard, after all. Most people got that little chart that had “Social Life — Good Grades — Hobbies” on it and were told to pick two. Peter’s chart looked more like “Social Life — Good Grades — Extracurriculars — Mr. Stark/Lab Time — Spidermanning — Family” and yet was still told to only pick two. But two wasn’t enough for Peter, would never be enough, so he found a way to do it all.

But he wasn’t complaining, no not at all. His schedule worked, he got to do everything he needed. Sure, it left him a little tired, and sure, sometimes he’d after to eat meals while doing homework, or while patrolling, but it was worth it. There had been no problems with his schedule so far, even though Ned had once called it a little bit “too much”, and Mr. Stark had commented on it before, but nothing more than an “I’m worried you’re overworking yourself, Pete,” so he was fine.

After all, he’d always been like this, it wasn’t anything concerning. It’s just that, well, after the Vulture incident, and getting closer to Mr. Stark, and being in Junior year now, he was busier. And sure, maybe he had become more strict about his scheduling after The Incident, but it was just because he had more on his plate. That’s all. He just needed to make sure nothing, and no one, messed up his schedule. And no one would because everyone and their dog knew that Peter’s schedule was important.

That is, until he walked into the common room in the tower Friday evening.

A brunette was sitting on the couch, staring intensely at some game on his phone. He’d obviously not heard Peter walk into the room, or if he had, he was just ignoring him.

“Uh… hi?” Peter said, his voice shaking just a little.

The brunette looked up immediately, a brief emotion of something showing on his face before he just settled on a disgruntled look. “Who are you?” it came out as a sneer and Peter bristled. He said it as if Peter didn’t belong here, but it was Friday, it was his day to be here. His day to spend time with Mr. Stark. He opened his mouth to say something, to give a retort, or at least to give his name, but Mr. Stark chose that exact moment to walk in.

“Oh, shit, Pete. I forgot to text you,” he looked genuinely surprised that Peter was there and, ya. Wow. That hurt a bit.

“This is Harley, he’s going to be staying here for a couple of weeks. There were some family problems and—”

“Tony, who’s this?” the brunette—Harley—asked, shooting a quick glare to Mr. Stark. It was clear that he didn’t want Peter to know why he was here. And for the most part, Peter understood. After all, he was a stranger, and strangers shouldn’t know the happenings of your family. And yet, it was just another stab to the heart. This boy, who could have only been maybe a year older than Peter himself, seemed to be close to Mr. Stark, close enough that he called him “Tony”, and close enough that Mr. Stark even forgot about Peter.

“This is Peter, he’s—”

“His intern,” Peter interrupted, giving Tony a look that clearly said “no Spider-Man”, or at least, he hoped it said that.

Harley gives him a weird look, and Peter gets the immediate feeling that he’s not wanted there. He shifts uncomfortably and turns his attention back to Mr. Stark. For now, he didn’t have to worry about Harley.

“Uhm, so, lab night tonight is…?” Peter trails off.

“Uh, well, I have to get Harley here settled in, but once that’s done I don’t see why we can’t work in the lab once that's done,” Mr. Stark scratched his beard, peering down at the two teens.

Peter smiled, that was all he needed. He didn’t mind waiting a little bit before having lab-time. He could always work on homework in the meantime.

“Speaking of that, though, Pete. You can’t stay over tonight,” Peter’s head shot up, and Mr. Stark must have noticed the faint look of sadness that crossed his face, “Well you can, it’s just that. Well, I sort of told Harley he could sleep in your room tonight.”

This time Peter looked at Harley, and then back to Mr. Stark. He hoped his emotions weren’t showing too much, but he’d never been good at hiding them. Aunt May always said he wore his heart on his sleeve. But the idea that Mr. Stark not only forgot about his and Peter’s lab night, but he also gave Peter’s room to some… some stranger? It hurt. It felt like he was being replaced.

“You’d think that with what, over a hundred floors and probably more than twice as many rooms the old man would have a spare bedroom somewhere, but apparently not,” Harley grumbled, stretching out on the couch where he was sitting.

He was so comfortable here, arguably more comfortable than Peter was. Peter always held at least a little bit of respect for Mr. Stark and his home, no matter how much they bantered, but it seemed like Harley just knew Mr. Stark more. Peter pressed his lips together, he hated it.

“I don’t have guests often,” Mr. Stark shrugged, “What can I say.”

A tense silence fell over the three. Harley was looking at his phone, seemingly refusing to look at Peter, and Mr. Stark was eyeing both teens with a careful eye. Peter, on the other hand, stood in place, with his backpack hanging off one shoulder, and shifted awkwardly a couple of times. He didn’t know what to do, but it seemed like Harley didn’t want him here, and Mr. Stark was barely acknowledging him.

“Anyways, what do you want for dinner, kid?” Mr. Stark turned, heading towards a seat.

“I guess—”

“Pizza would be good, Tony.” Harley’s voice was loud. It demanded attention, unlike Peter’s which seemed to be getting quieter and quieter as the day went on. It was so easy when he was Spider-Man, but when he was Peter Parker it was so much harder to force people to see him, to listen to him. But he’d never felt like that with Mr. Stark before. Mr. Stark had always listened to Peter. Even before the Vulture Incident, Mr. Stark showed interest, even though he didn’t directly speak to Peter. Months later he found out that the man had listened to all of his phone messages, and had kept a close eye on Spider-Man to make sure he was safe. After the incident though, the man got closer to Peter and listened to him in person.

But now, with Harley here, he felt like it was hard to be heard again.

And, on top of that, Harley answered to Peter’s nickname. Mr. Stark always called Peter kid, and only Peter. And yet, Harley answered to the name too? It was petty and childish, but it made an anger boil in Peter’s stomach. He caught Harley’s eye again, and the other boy just rolled his eyes before sending a brief glare. Mr. Stark didn’t even notice the looks Harley was giving Peter, or if he did, he didn’t acknowledge them. Peter sighed, he could tell when he wasn’t wanted somewhere.

“Uhm, Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, just as the man was telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to place a pizza order.

“Ya, kid?”

“I actually forgot that I uh, I’ve got a big essay due Monday that I need to work on. MJ said she’d help me, but I gotta call her tonight about it… so I’m uh. I’m gonna go? And skip the lab for this week,” he could feel himself starting to shake a little bit. He just wanted to go home, maybe go on another quick patrol, and then watch a movie with Aunt May.

Mr. Stark gave him a weird look, and for a moment Peter was wondering if the man could read his mind. He got more and more nervous the longer the silence went on, but he spared a look over to Harley, and the other boy was finally giving the barest of smiles. Apparently leaving was a good decision, then.

“Ya,” Mr. Stark finally spoke, “Sure kid. Just give me a text when you get home, ok?”

“‘Kay. Bye Mr. Stark,” he turned around heading towards the elevator, “By Harley.”

Peter swung home. It was the best way to get his mind off of things. He wasn’t necessarily looking to help people out, but he stopped by a few people who needed his help. There was nothing serious, but it made him feel better. Just something as simple as helping someone find their way around, or helping a young lady get to a subway station, anything like that, helped Peter feel a little lighter. The anger he felt at the Tower slowly seeped away, and soon he felt good enough to go home.

He entered through his bedroom window, changing into pyjamas, and sauntered into the kitchen of the apartment.

“Peter?” Aunt May’s voice rang with concern, “I wasn’t expecting you home tonight. Did something happen?”

She set down the knife she was holding and walked over to Peter, placing her hands on his cheeks as she checked him over for any injuries. Peter just shook his head and wrapped his arms around her.

“No, I just missed you,” he lied. He didn’t know how to tell Aunt May that Tony replaced him with some kid from Tennessee.

Aunt May hummed, brushing her hands through his hair. Peter could tell she didn’t believe him, but she didn’t press any further, so he appreciated that at least. They stayed like that for a few moments, Peter enjoying the warmth of the hug until—

“Aunt May? Whatever you had on the stove is on fire,” Peter mumbled.

“What!” And just like that, the hug was over. His aunt ran over to the stove, turning it off as quick as she could and fanning out the flames. “Why didn’t your… your… Peter Tingle—”

“Spidey Sense”

“Say anything? Can’t you tell when something is about to happen,” her voice cracked as she tried to get the flames under control.

“It doesn’t like… always pick up on everything, May. It just does, sometimes?” Peter shrugged, “I don’t really know how it works.”

“Well, figure it out would you? So we can avoid any more kitchen fires, at least.”

“I think we can do that if you just stop trying to cook,” Peter laughed.

“Hardy har, laugh it off, Pete. I guess we’re ordering in for the night, does Thai sound good?” There was soft clanging as she placed the pan in the sink, turning to give Peter a look that only Aunt May could.

“Ya,” Peter smiled, “That sounds good.”

He and Aunt May watched old rom coms all Friday night, and Peter chose to sleep in on Saturday, something he didn’t do very often. His plan for today was to get some homework done and then Ned and he were supposed to build the Lego Death Star before Peter went on patrol. That was all put to a stop when at 9 AM Peter rolled out of bed to the sound of his phone ringing.

“W’ss’p’” he mumbled, still half asleep.

“Are you asleep right now? At—oh, it’s 9 in the morning. But still, that’s pretty late for a boy genius like yourself,” Mr. Stark’s voice echoed.

“I’s Saturd’y M’ss’r St’rk,” Peter yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, trying to get his mind to clear up, “I get to sleep in.”

“Mhm, well, get that lazy Spider butt up,” Peter could practically hear Mr. Stark rolling his eyes, “We missed out on our lab night last night, so how do you feel about coming over today? You can even stay over tonight if you’d like, I got Harley set up in his own room now.”

Peter immediately perked up. Clearly, this meant that Mr. Stark still wanted him around, especially if he was reaching out to him first. It meant he’d have to cancel on Ned though, and he probably wouldn’t start his patrol until later, but… well, it was worth it.

“Ya, that sounds good Mr. Stark. I can be there at like, noon?” It would give him a couple of hours to eat breakfast, get started on his homework, and text Ned to cancel their plans. His friend would be disappointed, he was sure, but he’d understand. Peter would tell him they could do it next weekend. Plus, Mr. Stark didn’t mention anything about Harley, so Peter was hoping it would just be his mentor and him. It would give him an opportunity to work on some Spider-Man updates that he had thought of, plus he needed to fix some minor bugs.

It was nothing serious, but a couple of nights ago he had swung face-first into a wall after getting distracted, and it had hurt the coms in Peter’s suit. Mr. Stark knew about it and they were supposed to fix it last night until Harley happened, so Peter was sure it would get fixed tonight.

“Sound good, kid. Just head into the lab when you get here, I’ll have some lunch waiting for you.”

“See you then, Mr. Stark!”

Peter did a small flip off of his bed, excitement making him restless. He’d been so upset and worried that he was being replaced by Harley, but clearly, he wasn’t! Mr. Stark obviously still wanted him around. He popped his head out of his bedroom door, shouting out “Aunt May! I’m going over to the Tower in a couple of hours!”

Aunt May turned from her place on the couch, looking up at Peter with a raised eyebrow. “It’s Saturday,” she said as if that was an explanation for her confusion. And, in her defense, it was. Peter was only ever at the Tower on Saturdays if he woke up there in the first place, he rarely went there if he had slept at home.

“Ya, but with our lab night getting canceled last night Mr. Stark wanted to do it today, so I’ll probably be there all day, or at least until I go out on patrol,” Peter shrugged, trying to play it off as no big deal. But Aunt May looked at him with an all-knowing look and Peter was sure she knew more than she was letting on. “Well, as long as you get your homework finished it's fine,” was all she said.

Peter nodded, quickly going back to his desk and getting to work. There wasn’t much to do and he was sure he could finish most of it, at least, before he had to get to Mr. Stark’s.

Peter may have overestimated his ability to get his work done in time by just a bit. He had been planning on taking the subway to the Tower but found himself in need of swinging, and even when he swung all the way there he was fifteen minutes late. Not the worst, but he felt like it was different today. Different because now Mr. Stark had another “kid” he could work with.

He changed quickly in an alley outside the Tower and entered through the backdoor as usual. There was a happy skip to Peter's step as he got into Mr. Stark’s personal elevator, with his bag slung on one shoulder. Despite the fact that this messed up his schedule, Peter was just glad he was actually going to spend some time with Mr. Stark. His only hope was that Harley wouldn't be there.

“Good afternoon Mr. Parker,” F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, “Would you like me to bring you up to Boss’ lab?”

“Yes please, F.R.I.”

The elevator was small and fast, and despite the fact that Mr. Stark’s lab was on the 90-something-th floor it only took a matter of seconds for Peter to arrive. He walked through the halls with ease, his muscle memory bringing him straight to the lab. There was a slight tingle from his Spidey Sense, but Peter paid it no mind. It was probably because he had been so upset when he was in the Tower last night. Plus, his Spidey Sense was just like… anxiety, but for superheroes. He put his hand against the sensor and the doors opened for him.

“Hey Mr. Star—” he froze.

There was a lanky, tall body sitting at his spot. At his desk.

“Hey,” the other boy mumbled, not lifting his head from where he was staring at something on the— no, on Peter’s —desk. “The old man’s gonna be back in a few, he said he had something to do.”

“He’s not that old,” Peter mumbled, feeling the sudden need to stick up for his mentor. He knew or at least had a feeling that Harley was just teasing Mr. Stark. It seemed like it was their dynamic, but still. “F.R.I. could you let Mr. Stark know that I’m here, please?”

“Right away, Mr. Parker,” she replied.

“You’re uh,” Peter shifted uncomfortably, “You’re at my desk.” There was a bit to his tone, one that he hadn’t done on purpose, but he didn’t correct himself.

“What? Are you gonna go cry about it to mommy?” Harley finally lifted his head from whatever was so important on the desk, but only to roll his eyes, “I don’t see your name written on it anywhere.”

That’s because it doesn’t need to be, Peter wanted to say, because only he and Mr. Stark went into this lab.

But instead, he just shrugged, “It’s where I work,” was all he could say. The anger was starting to boil in his stomach again, and Peter could feel the tinge of… something. Jealousy? But that wasn’t like Peter. He never got jealous. Uncle Ben taught him better than that.

And yet, he couldn’t think of another word for the emotion he was feeling towards Harley. Harley was replacing him. He took Peter’s “Mr. Stark Time” away from him, he disrupted Peter’s carefully planned out schedule, he took Peter’s nickname, took his spot in the lab, and took his room. Mr. Stark was replacing Peter with Harley, so ya. He was jealous. Sue him.

“God, are you such a goody-two-shoes that you have to come into work on the weekend? Can’t you just like, go home? Tony has me here right now, so he doesn’t need any more help,” Harley gives a glare before going back to whatever he was working on.

Peter bristled, opening his mouth to retort back. But he didn’t know what to say. That he and Mr. Stark were close? Obviously not close enough for Mr. Stark to remember when they were meeting, or be there on time, or mention that there would be some other kid interrupting their time together.

And speaking of the devil, right at that moment Mr. Stark walked in. There was a tense silence in the air, and Mr. Stark looked back and forth between the two teens. Just like Aunt May, Peter had a feeling that Mr. Stark knew more than he was letting onto. But then, the man just sighed, took off his iconic sunglasses, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You two catching up with each other?”

“Uh, ya, I guess,” Peter shrugged, hovering awkwardly over his desk. He had things in it, important things. Spider-Man things. Things he didn’t want some stranger looking through. He shot Mr. Stark a look, trying to convey exactly that with just his face. He furrowed his eyebrows, sharply pointing his head to the desk, and luckily, Mr. Stark nodded.

“Hey, uh, kid,” And fuck. There was that name again. This time Peter knew it wasn’t directed at him, Mr. Stark was looking directly at Harley, “That’s Pete’s desk, and he’s kind of got a system, so why don’t you move to the end of it, gives you both room to work there, ok? We’ll get another desk set up soon.”

Harley raised his head, huffing slightly, but he moved over wordlessly. Or, almost wordlessly. If Peter didn’t have super hearing he wouldn’t have heard it, and Mr. Stark definitely didn’t hear it. “Neurotic much, eh?” Harley mumbled under his breath.

Peter tensed. Harley was treating him no better than how Flash did, and it was causing him to be on edge. His Spidey Sense wouldn’t stop tingling. It wasn’t telling him that there was an immediate danger, but it was like it knew that Harley didn’t like him.

Nonetheless, Peter sat down at his spot, making sure to sit at the opposite end of the long table, just so that Harley wouldn’t be able to see what he was working on. He guessed that he and Mr. Stark would have to wait to repair the coms in his suit. They couldn’t exactly pull it up in front of Harley. Because of Secret Identities and all that. But that was ok. Peter could work on updating his web formula.

He’d had a few ideas on how to improve it. One, he’d really like to make a set of quick-dissolving webs, because 2 hours was sometimes a bit much. He also wanted to see if he could develop his webs to be able to cover injuries. Right now he was able to do it on himself, but he knew that it had chemicals in it that would be unsafe for broken skin. The only reason he used it on himself was because of his healing factor; it wouldn’t be able to do any lasting damage. But it could probably cause light chemical burns on regular people.

He brought out some scraps on paper, as well as a sheet that had his original web formula on it, and got to work. It was silent for the most part, Peter usually preferred to work in silence, only chatting with Mr. Stark on and off. But today Peter didn’t say a word. Even Harley was quiet for the first little while. But then, he kept speaking up, asking Mr. Stark to come over and look over his work, or making little quips. Peter kept his head down, feeling more like a stranger in the lab than he ever had before. It was hard, he didn’t always know what the other two were talking about, and the one time he had tried to join the conversation he had just gotten a small glare from Harley.

So, Peter just sighed and kept his head down and focused on his work. He was making good progress on the equations so he’d be able to test it out soon. He worked on his webbing so often that it was practically second nature at this point. Slowly the hours ticked by, and Peter found himself ready to test it out. The first one to test out was the quick dissolving webs because Peter felt like it was most important. He was really starting to get complaints from the police who kept finding criminals webbed up to the wall. Apparently, it was hard to get out of. Who knew.

“Mr. Stark, do you think you could come and check this out for a second?” Peter asked, ignoring the fact that the man was with Harley. Surely he could spare a couple of minutes.

“Just a minute Pete,” the man hummed, scratching his beard as he peered down at Harley’s work.

So Peter waited, and waited, and waited. In reality, he probably only waited about 15 minutes, but it felt like ages as he watched his mentor interact with Harley. Finally, Peter stood up and grabbed a couple of vials and chemicals from the shelf, sighed a bit as he did. And no, he was not pouting at all, and if F.R.I.D.A.Y said anything different he was going to reboot her.

Eventually, Mr. Stark comes over, just as Peter is setting everything down at his desk. He gives Peter a look that distinctly says “really?” and Peter just shrugs. It wasn’t like Harley paid him enough attention to really get that he was working on Spider-Man stuff.

“Looks good, Pete, go ahead and move to testing it out,” the man ruffles his head and Peter shoots him a grateful smile.

There were so many emotions going on in Peter’s head, and he really didn’t know what to think, but he was happy to get some attention from Mr. Stark. Maybe he really was just jealous of Harley. He wasn’t used to sharing Mr. Stark’s attention, and it was a lot to get used to. And yet, even with that knowledge, Peter couldn’t make the burning anger go away.

And, Peter couldn’t say he felt good about his current emotions, but when Harley’s head shot up when Mr. Stark praised him he couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

He was here in the lab for a reason, after all. Mr. Stark would never work with an idiot weekly.

Well, debatable, because Peter knew he was kind of an idiot sometimes, but that was more street smarts. He knew that when it came to science he was nowhere near being an idiot.

Just as the silence was coming over the three of them again, Mr. Stark’s phone rang.

“Rhodey? Ya, no I’m free, what's up?” Mr. Stark called out, probably louder than he needed to, “Wait one sec.”

“Hey, you two, I’m just going to head to the common room for a second, you’re good here by yourselves?” He gave them both a suspicious glare, but both boys nodded, “Ok good, don’t die, have fun, all that jazz. I’ll be back in a minute.”

And then he left.

And Peter knew what the man was doing. He was never the most subtle person in the room. Or in the world, probably. But that was what made him Tony Stark, and it was one of the qualities Peter admired in Mr. Stark. He was always confident and sure about his decisions. Even if that decision was forcing two teenagers to spend some time together, despite the fact that they clearly didn’t like each other. Plus, it helped that he had super hearing, so he could hear Mr. Stark say, “Rhodey, I just don’t know what to do with them” as he walked away from the lab.

“God,” Harley bemoaned, getting up to walk closer to Peter, “You’re such a pest, you know that? Like you literally work here every week, but I can't even get a full day to hang out with Tony? You’ve always got to pop up in one way or another, fucking annoying.”

Peter forced his lips together, trying to hold in an outburst that was surely going to happen, and just shrugged. “It’s my work, I like it,” he said through clenched teeth, “And you’re the one who showed up during our workday, that’s not my fault.”

“Can’t you just like, leave him alone for fucks sake. He’s probably annoyed too. Like, just go home,” Harley sighed, and Peter’s Spidey Sense immediately perked up. Something was wrong.

He looked up at Harley just as he was pouring a vial of chemicals into his web mixture, peering at the other boy to see what was causing his Spidey Sense to go off. But the brunette was just standing there with his arms crossed, and— was that? Was that a pout? Weird.

But Peter didn’t get to think about it anymore, because before he knew it his body was moving without him thinking about it. He could feel the heat against his back as he grabbed Harley’s arm and shoved him down, blocking the other boy with his own body. There was a loud BOOM, and the room shook slightly, and for a moment Peter was sure it was going to collaps—

No, he thought, don’t think about that right now.

And it was over just as fast as it had happened. He felt some minor burns on his back and arms, but nothing feels too amiss, other than the adrenaline that was currently pumping through his body. So Peter took a chance, and stood up, quickly looking around the room and down at Harley, who was now sitting on the floor. The other boy looked fine, though there were hints of a mild burn on his right arm. But the lab, on the other hand… well it was a mess.

The web formula had clearly exploded, and there were sticky webs all over the room. The vial he had been mixing it in was broken, and there was a small fire over the table, which Dum-E quickly came to extinguish.

Peter just looked around with wide eyes, his hands shaking from the adrenaline, as Harley looked up at him with equally wide, and concerned eyes.

“Fuck—” Peter began to sigh, but he didn't get to finish the sentiment before the doors to the lab were swung open.

“What the hell happened in here?” Mr. Stark burst through the lab, sounding just as out of breath as Peter felt. His eyes held a fire in them, but he looked equally angry, concerned, and disheveled.

And Peter doesn’t remember a time he’s been this afraid to face Mr. Stark. Probably not since the Ferry incident. But he fucked up this time. He hadn’t been paying attention when he was grabbing chemicals, nor pouring them, and he caused an explosion. He was just happy it was minor.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, I got distracted,” Peter mumbled his head down as he refused to face his mentor.

“Distracted?” the man shouted, and Peter was almost certain that he was angry enough to breathe fire, “You know you can’t get distracted in the lab, and especially not when you’re handling chemicals Peter! You know better than that!”

“I know, I jus—”

“No, Pete. The adult is talking now, listen,” Mr. Stark put up a hand, and for the first time, Peter looked at the man’s face. He looked angry but also concerned. “If you were tired or hungry or something you should have let me know, I wouldn’t have made you come in today, but you cannot, be distracted. What if there had been a bigger explosion Peter? What if people got hurt? Were you not thinking at all?”

“I’m sorry,” Peter’s voice quivered.

And at that, Mr. Stark paused, took a breath, and ran a hand through his hair. He looked calmer, and Peter was sure he was going to walk over and tell Peter that he was sorry for yelling. But instead—

“Harley,” Mr. Stark spoke, and Peter’s shoulders deflated, “Go up to MedBay. I want to talk with Peter alone for a second.”

And for once, the brunette left the pair without saying anything. Apparently, the trick to get Harley to be quiet was to cause a minor explosion. Who knew.

Mr. Stark waited a few moments before turning back to Peter. It was clear he was still mad, but Peter didn’t think he was going to yell anymore.

“Peter, what were you doing? How could you get so distracted that you poured the wrong chemical? What if you had gotten hurt?”

“I heal fast, Mr. Stark,” And, ok ya. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to the man who was clearly concerned about him. But it was true! The burns would be gone by tomorrow.

Mr. Stark just sighed and ran a hand down his face. He took a few deep breaths, and Peter instantly recognized it as a tactic for the man to hold in his anger.

“Fine then,” it clearly didn’t work well enough, as Mr. Stark snapped at Peter with such venom that the boy took a visible step back, “What if Harley got hurt? He doesn’t have any superpowers, Pete, he can’t heal like you can. Sure, you can’t get hurt, but he could have gotten really hurt. If it was worse, he could have died, Peter.”

And at that, Peter’s eyes welled up with tears. Mr. Stark was clearly concerned about Harley, and clearly mad at Peter. Did he not see that it was the other boy who put Peter so on edge, so tense, and that was why Peter made the mistake?

“I’m… Mr. Stark, I didn’t mean—”

“I know. But Peter, this can’t happen. You’re going to have to go home for the day, and we’ll see about next Friday. I haven’t decided if you get lab privileges or not.”

Tears began to fall, but Mr. Stark either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He was quick to turn on his heels and walk towards MedBay, where Harley was. Because of course. Peter was beginning to feel like a fool. It was obvious that Mr. Stark and Harley were close, and were “connected” as Harley had said earlier. And Peter? Well Mr. Stark only spoke to Peter in the first place because of Spider-Man, not because of Peter Parker. Sure, Mr. Stark clearly cared for him, and wanted him around, but not in the same way as Harley. Peter was never invited to stay at the Tower for more than a night, not like Harley, and Mr. Stark was clearly more concerned about Harley’s safety than Peter’s.

(That’s not quite right though, is it? Somewhere deep down Peter knew he was just getting worked up, and he was just overly anxious and jealous. He knew Mr. Stark cared for him just as much as always, and he knew that Mr. Stark liked both Peter and Spider-Man. But right now? Right now Peter was too upset to think rationally. Later, he might look back on it and realize that it was a mixture of being jealous, angry, and probably the pain that came with the burns.)

Peter walked to the elevator, his head hanging in shame, as tears spilled out of his eyes. It was just a stupid mistake, but Mr. Stark was so mad at him, and only cared about Harley being ok. He sniffed, rubbing his eyes as F.R.I took him down to the lobby. “Take care, Mr. Parker,” and Peter swore he could hear a hint of concern in the AI’s voice. He shot a small smile up to the ceiling but said nothing more before leaving.

He took a deep breath once outside, trying to get in as much fresh air as he could in New York City. He walked as quickly as he could, his mind already made up about what he was going to do. He had planned to patrol after lab night anyway, and sure he was a couple of hours early and hadn’t had dinner yet, but it was fine. He’d stop by a hot dog truck or something during the patrol.

So Peter ran into an alleyway, hopping as he kicked off his shoes and changed out of his civilian clothes. Going on patrol would be a good way to use his built-up adrenaline, anyway. He could use any lasting anger and jitteriness to help people. So once he was in his suit, and his bag was webbed up high on a while, Peter got to swinging.

It was still rather early in the night, only about 5 or 6 PM, but it was the end of November so it was already dark, but even so, he wasn’t expecting much. There was a young teen that was trying to rob a small grocer early into the patrol, but all it took was Spider-Man showing his face, giving a wave and a short “Hey kid, I’ll buy that for you,” for the kid to back off. Peter didn’t really have money to be wasting, but he figured the young kid needed it. Plus, it was just a sandwich that was a couple of dollars, it wouldn’t kill Peter to lose that amount of money.

Peter swung around for another hour, and nothing much happened. He stopped a group of bullies and walked the poor kid home, but other than that Peter just swung and kept an eye out. It was when Peter was sitting on the edge of a roof, peering down onto the streets and keeping a careful eye out for any trouble that he heard it;

“Hey! Fuck off!” and even though Peter had only known the guy for just over a day, he already knew his voice like the back of his hand.

It was hard to forget the voice of the guy who was replacing you.

(But he wasn’t, and Peter knew that. Or would know that, once he calmed down.)

And for a brief second, a second that Peter was not proud of, he hesitated. It wasn’t like he didn’t like Harley, sure, he wasn’t the guy’s biggest fan, but he didn’t deserve to be attacked. But, shit. Really? Really? The guy that's been at Peter’s throat all day, the guy that Peter was mad at, is getting attacked and now Peter has to go save him. Because of course, he does.

So Peter swings down, climbing down the wall straight above Harley. There was a guy with mangly blonde hair and a hand that was roughly holding Harley against a wall. When Peter looked closer he could see a gun in the guy’s other hand, which was being pushed right into Harley’s stomach.

“Listen, I literally, don’t have anything, man,” Harley said, and Peter could tell he was trying to stay brave, trying to put on a show, but he could hear the shake in his voice. And wow, Harley reminded Peter of Mr. Stark.

“Look at your fucking shoes, your jacket, I know money when I see one,” the man sneered, shoving his gun further into Harley’s stomach, “So pay u—”

“Hey man! Stealing isn’t nice!” Peter chose that moment to jump down, giving the man a kick to the shoulder to get him to back off Harley.

“Fuck off bug boy,” the man spat, trying to take a step closer to Harley again, but Peter stood directly between the two.

“I feel like purposefully calling me by the wrong name is just rude, I mean come on! I have a spider on my chest,” Peter rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in the air for good measure, “But if that's how it's gonna be I’m gonna call you Mr. dumbface, cause really your face is annoying me right now,”

There was silence.

“Ok, so I’m a little out of it today, but a little laugh would’ve been nice,” he turned back to Harley, who was staring at him with a slightly gaped mouth.

“You… you’re… Really?” was all Harley stuttered. And, ok, ya. Maybe Peter should have seen it coming that he wasn’t the only one who could recognize voices.

“Listen we’ll talk about it later, ok, lemme just web this gu—”

“I’m not going back to jail!” the guy yelled, suddenly a lot more defensive than he had been before. And Peter didn’t like that. A guy with a gun? Easy-peasy, just had to disarm him. Usually, they didn’t even want to use their weapon. But an angry, defensive guy with a gun? Well, that was significantly more difficult to deal with.

Peter had a split second of warning when his Spidey Sense went off. It wasn’t enough, he knew it wasn’t. But his instinct kicked in and he grabbed Harley’s arm, shoving him to the ground just like he had done earlier today.

And really, Peter needed to stop with constant, daily, accidents. This was getting a bit much.

There were three shots, the first two went into Peter's stomach, and the second in his right shoulder. He grunted but didn’t fall. He gave the guy a good punch in the face, knocking him down to the ground.

“That…” Peter grunted, kicking the gun away, “That was rude.”

He quickly webbed the guy up, sparing no amount of webs to ensure that he would stay on the ground for a while. He stumbled back, placing a hand over his stomach as he tried to assess the damage. He didn’t think the bullets hit anything important, but he also couldn’t tell if they were still in him or not. What he did know is that he was bleeding fast.

A hand landed on Peter’s shoulder, and his first instinct was to attack. His Spidey Senses were going haywire, everything felt like a threat. He went to spin and web up whoever was grabbing him, but he was beginning to feel dizzy and practically tripped over his own two feet. And fuck, he felt like shit.

“Hey! Hey! It’s me, it’s me. It’s Harley,” the brunette said, leading Peter to sit on the ground, away from the mugger.

“You’re… You’re bleeding, like a lot. What… What do we do?” and this was the first time Peter ever heard Harley sound unsure of himself.

Peter’s first instinct was to ask Karen to call Mr. Stark, so he did exactly that. But his mind was starting to get foggy, and it felt like there were cotton balls in his mouth. Every word was a struggle, and every breath hurt, and fuck he just wants to be at the Tower so Mr. Stark and Dr. Cho can patch him up again.

“Kaaareeenn,” Peter mumbled, each syllable feeling like another stab to his stomach, “Karen… Kareeeen,” He kept calling out for her, but the AI is strangely quiet.

There’s a reason she doesn't answer though, and Peter knows it… but he can’t remember. His brain is too foggy, and he doesn’t really know where he is anymore, or who he wants. He just knows he needs Karen to answer him. So he kept mumbling her name.

“Oh my god, I think I broke Tony’s genius child,” Harley mumbled, and yes! Yes! That’s who Peter needs right now!

“Mi’ss’r… Mi’ss’r S’rk,” he stuttered out, nodding at Harley, who just stares at him with wide and confused eyes. Peter just continues, “Miiiis’errrrr S’arrrrk. Call. Call, Mi’ss’r S’rk. Karen, Kaareen, call Missss’r S’rk.”

And he can hear Harley mumbling above him, something about “breaking a superhero”, and how “Tony is going to kill him”, but he doesn’t really care, but wow, his stomach hurts. And his shoulder hurts. And how much blood has he lost? A lot, probably. Somewhere, deep down, Peter knew that he only got this foggy, this out of it, when there was internal bleeding. Which, ya, he didn’t like that he knew that, but what could he do? His brain wasn’t working fast enough right now though to be able to relay that information to Harley.

“Ok.. Ok… Get him to Tony, he can help. Ya, ya. That’s a good idea. Phone… Phone… ok. Ok, that’s fine, no phone. We’ll just walk back, totally fine. Just gonna walk back to Stark Towers with a bleeding … Spider… guy,” Harley kept mumbling and it was starting to get on Peter’s nerves. Why wasn’t Karen answering him?

(Because... his mind supplied unhelpfully, you were supposed to fix the coms with Mr. Stark but you never did.)

And suddenly he was being lifted up or at least helped up. “C’mon, C’mon. I need your help here, you gotta walk with me, we’re not that far from the Tower, just walk with me,” Harley kept speaking, and when Peter whined (no he didn’t, he’ll deny that if you ever ask him about it), Harley made sure to speak quieter.

Peter doesn’t remember a lot about the whole trip, but he does remember tripping and falling a couple of times, and Harley telling people to move out of their way. “Just, just a few more steps, we’re almost there and then Tony’ll fix you up, he’ll fix you up, don’t worry,” at this point, Harley was talking more for himself than he was for Peter. Peter was barely listening.

Peter doesn’t remember being taken up to the MedBay, nor does he remember Mr. Stark walking in with Dr. Cho, and he definitely doesn’t remember the surgery that was performed to get the bullets out of his stomach. Apparently, the one in the shoulder was a clean shot. He was informed of everything a few hours after he woke up.

But when Peter first woke up he looked around the room, ignoring the familiar itch of an IV in his arm. Mr. Stark was asleep in a chair in the corner. For the most part he looked calm, collected, even somehow bored in his sleep, but Peter could practically feel the tension seeping off him. Then, there was Harley, who was sitting right next to Peter’s bed, and wide awake.

“Uh… hi,” was all Harley said.

“F.R.I, can you turn down the lights please?” was all Peter had the energy to say at first. It was too bright. It was always too bright in the MedBay. Immediately, the lights turned down by 50%, and Peter mumbled out a thanks.

“Are you ok?” he turned to Harley, looking over the boy to see if there were any injuries. The only one he could see is the mild burn from earlier that day.

“Am I— am I ok? Dude, you got shot three times while wearing a red and blue spandex suit! What the fuck,” Harley looked shocked, maybe even a little angry, “God, I hate New York. You’re all so weird here, what the fuck is even happening?”

“I dunno, this feels like a normal Saturday night to me,” Peter shrugged, trying to make light of the situation. He didn’t like that the other boy was concerned over him.

“Normal? God, I hate it here,” Harley ran a hand through his hair, huffing out a laugh. There was a beat of silence before Peter broke out into a choked laugh too. Soon, the two boys were hardly able to contain themselves, Harley was doubled over laughing, and Peter was leaning back. Neither of them really knew what they were laughing about, but they both couldn’t get over the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

“It’s actually early Sunday morning, now,” Peter’s laughter got caught off, and he snapped his neck to look at the man in the corner.

Now that Mr. Stark’s eyes were open and aware he could see that they were a little red and a little swollen. But Peter was more focused on the whole “Sunday” thing.

“Aunt May!” he bolted up from bed, ready to get dressed right that minute.

“Has already been contacted,” Mr. Stark sighed, “Really, who do you take me for?”

Peter didn’t answer, he just shrugged and continued to look at his sheets. He was still feeling shitty about the explosion, and he didn’t know how to face the man. At least, though, his mind had cleared up from his previous anger and jealousy. Obviously, Mr. Stark cared about Peter and wanted him around, the tear marks on his face proved it.

“Listen, both of you...” Mr. Stark trailed off, and both boys kept their eyes on the man, waiting for him to speak. “I’m sorry I blew up at both of you today,” and at that Peter sent Harley a look, who just shrugged and mouthed ‘I’ll tell you later’, “I shouldn’t have yelled, but honestly? You’re both annoying little shits, and you worried me.”

“Peter’s the worse one,” Harley muttered.

“Says the guy who got mugged on his second night in New York,” Peter shot a teasing look.

“Hey! Tony told me to go for a walk! What was I supposed to do?”

“Bring your phone for one,” Mr. Stark chimed in.

Both boys looked at him sharply, “We’re not talking to you.”

There was a beat of silence before the two teens broke out into laughter again, and Mr. Stark just sighed.

“I can’t believe I’ve spent two days trying to get you two to like each other, and all it took was a mugging, getting shot 3 times, and getting both of you to save each other,” he rolled his eyes, “I’ll write that down for next time.”

“To be fair, you maybe should have warned both of us that you were going to try to force a new friendship,” Peter mentioned.

“Don’t be too hard on him, Old man is old enough that he’s probably got dementia or some shit,” Harley chipped in.

“He does forget things a lot, one time he forgot to wear pants to a meeting,”

“That was one time!”

“Ya, ok Mr. Stark.”

“My God, between the two of you, I’ve created a monster,” Mr. Stark sighed as Harley cackled, “Go ahead. Laugh all you want. I’ll be in the kitchen, eating normal human food that a certain Mr. Parker won’t get until the literal holes in his stomach are healed. And Harley? I just don't want to feed you, so suffer.”

And with that, the man left. Both teens laughed briefly, rolling their eyes at their mentor.

“Listen, I’m sorry I was hard on you earlier,” Harley finally spoke up, “I was just excited to spend time with Tony. I haven’t seen him in, jeez, like four years? And it was a bit of a shock to find out I had to share him.”

Peter shook his head, “No, I’m sorry too. I wasn’t very welcoming to you, and I definitely didn’t make any effort.”

There was a silence, an awkward one that Peter wanted to fill.

“I uh, well. I don’t really have a lot of men in my life, not a lot of father figures I guess. I had my Uncle Ben, but he died… a while ago. And well, Mr. Stark stepped up a few months ago, and I guess I kinda latched on a bit too much. I was jealous when you came,” he shrugged, whispering the last part.

Because, God, it was so hard to admit to someone that you were jealous of them. But it had to be done, especially if Harley was staying at the Tower for a couple weeks.

“Jealous of me?” Harley sounded shocked.

“Ya, I mean. He like, didn’t even text me to cancel our lab night, and he gave you my room, and you were with us for our lab day, and we didn’t even do our movie night. I thought you were replacing me, which is stupid, I know now,

“Dude. Tony’s known I was coming here two weeks ahead of time and literally forgot to set me up a room. I showed up at the front door and he was still shocked. He didn’t forget to text you, he forgot I was coming,”

“Oh.”

“Ya, oh. And, well, I’m only here because of family stuff,” Harley paused, and Peter could see that he was debating whether or not he should continue.

“My sister got sick. Cancer, they said, so she and my mom had to go to the hospital while she gets treatment. And my mom, well, she didn’t want me home alone, and she knew she couldn’t really take care of me and my sick sister. So Tony said I could stay here for a few weeks until they were back home. So I wasn’t here to replace you, I’m just a charity case,” and Peter’s heart practically broke at the way Harley’s shoulders sagged. He knew that feeling.

Mr. Stark wasn’t the best at letting people know his true intentions, and it was easy to feel like you were a burden to the man. Peter should know, he was President of feeling that way.

“Harley, listen. I’ve only known Mr. Stark for like, a few months now. Less than a year,” he started, “But I know for a fact that he doesn’t let just anyone stay in the Tower. He only lets people he really, really, cares about in here. And his lab! Plus I see how he talks with you! You’ve got him wrapped around your finger,”

“Says you,”

“Well then the two of us together? We can get anything we want,” and that made Harley laughed.

They settled into another silence, this one much less awkward. The only sounds were of their breathing and of the machines beeping.

“So, uh, Spider, eh?” Harley raised an eyebrow, “Are you some sort of bug superhero?”

“I’m Spider-Man,” Peter answered incredulously, “Haven’t you heard of me?”

“Uh, no?”

“The Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man?” Harley shook his head, “Crap, I’ve gotta start working outside of New York, I guess.”

“So are you a mutant?”

“What?” Peter laughed, “Nah, until about a year ago I was totally normal, less than even. Asthmatic, and I needed glasses, and honestly a strong gust of wind could’ve knocked me over.”

“What changed?”

“Radioactive spider,” Peter shrugged as if it answered everything.

Harley barked out a laugh, “What?”

“It bit me, now I’m like, part spider I guess.”

“Shit… That’s wild,”

“Ya,”

And with that, both boys were silent again, this time both of their breathing began getting shallower and shallower, and before they knew it they were passed out. The last thing Peter heard was Mr. Stark walking by the room again,

“Monsters, the two of them.”

#my fics #irondad #spiderson #irondad fic #spiderman fic #peter parker fic #harley keener #jealousy fic #peter parker #tony stark

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withabackpackandcamera · 3 years

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Third Time’s The Charm! Iceland Summer 2021 Trip Reflections

Though slightly different in feel and activities when compared to previous trips, this latest installment of Iceland travels was fun and productive in its own way.

When I helped plan this trip with Minh, because it was my third time to Iceland, it was important that I was able to visit and see places and do things that I hadn’t done before so that I could at least experience novel things, which can sometimes be difficult if you visit a country so many times. So it was a balancing act between letting others choose places they wanted to go, even if it meant that I had to revisit a ton of places, and choosing new places that I wanted to go. Of course, a lot of the places I asked to visit (because I had never visited them before) were time-consuming trips that led us to beautiful places located in difficult-to-get-to areas. And those characteristics made it slightly difficult to convince others on the trip that these places were worth the trouble. Or to convince myself that in our tight schedule, it would be worth it to spend a lot of time driving somewhere just to see one thing.

It’s always a little difficult (as I have learned more and more over the years traveling with my family) to travel the way you are used to traveling (i.e. solo or with only your partner) or want to travel when with others, especially your older parents, or with people who prioritize things that you don’t necessarily prioritize. These differences always lead to arguments or tempers, especially when people are tired or sleep deprived, especially for us on this trip. But at the end of the day, despite the messy mood in the car from time to time, Cynthia and the family genuinely enjoyed this trip to Iceland. Which, at the end of it all, is the most important thing.

And the success of our Iceland trip was really due to a few things.

Volcano chasing. Despite the unpredictability of erupting volcanoes and weather conditions in Iceland, we were fortunate enough to check off “active volcano eruption” from our life bucket lists. The biggest reason I decided to plan a trip to Iceland was to see the volcano. And luckily, not only were we able to see the eruption at Geldingadalsgos once, we were actually blessed with great conditions and were able to make it 2 for 2 in terms of successful trips to the erupting volcano. Not everyone who has attempted to see the erupting volcano/vent can say that.

Beautiful, non-rainy Icelandic weather. In Iceland, you can never predict the weather you’re going to get the next hour, the next day, throughout the next week. It’s always so unpredictable. And when the weather does turn sour, it turns horribly sour. Luckily for us, this trip was blessed with beautiful weather the entire 10 days we were there. We barely got even a sprinkle of rain on this trip. The wettest we probably got was at Dynjandi. And the windiest it got was our hike to the volcano on our first day. Otherwise, we were super lucky. It’s rare that you enjoy an Icelandic road trip with 80-90% of the time there filled with sunlight from the never-setting sun.

4WD and Waterfalls. The biggest difference between this trip and the two previous trips I took to Iceland was having a 4x4 car. Especially in the summer, having a 4x4 car in Iceland does wonders for travelers who are into nature and photography. Because we had a 4WD, we could drive comfortably and fast on gravel and dirt roads without feeling like our tires would die or we could mess something up. And because we had a 4WD, we could drive up mountain F roads and get to and see places that none of us had ever seen before, providing us, especially me and Minh, with brand new landscapes to view and capture. To be able to get off the main road and drive into the less-traveled interior of Iceland was amazing and something that I will do every time I go to Iceland going forward, weather and season permitting. And even though we didn’t get to see a ton in the highlands, the few things we did see were totally worth paying for 4WD!

Meeting up with friends in Iceland. On any international trip, it’s always awesome to be able to find time to meet with friends on your trip because it’s very rare that 1) you have friends in another country you can reach out to and meet up with and 2) you have friends from the States visiting somewhere at the same time as you are and whose itinerary intersects with yours, especially in a place like Iceland. For us, we were fortunate to not only meet up, eat with, and hike with our very good friends from Colorado, Maggie and Ben, but to also randomly run into Bryce Kam, a Stanford tennis class buddy, and his wife Ruby in the streets of Reykjavik. On top of that, despite a loaded schedule, we were able to successfully meet up with three groups of local Icelandic friends that I had kept in touch with over the years. Thorsteinn and Thordis. Sveinn and Kristin. And Kristin. It’s hard enough to find time in people’s busy schedules to meet up. But when you’re on a tight schedule yourself, it speaks volumes to how great your friends are when they make time to see you. So very thankful for my friends in Iceland and all over the globe who are always willing and excited to meet up when I visit!

Lodging Options. For the most part, we had great and comfortable relatively budget-friendly lodging options while in Iceland. Though we moved from place to place pretty frequently, we were able to enjoy ourselves in relatively comfortable AirBnBs, cabins, guesthouses, hotels, and suites at every stop along the way. And not only were the rooms comfortable, but the non-AirBnBs served great breakfasts. And the AirBnBs were conveniently located for downtown city explorations.

Traveling with Money. Traveling with money makes a huge difference in how comfortable you are on a trip and, sometimes, how much fun you can have on a vacation. And we definitely had fun while being relatively comfortable on this trip. Because this was the first time the now-fully-employed little kiddos planned and spent money on a family trip. With a financial cushion, we paid a little more to stay at nicer places. We ate nicer meals without feeling like we had to cut corners and be cheap to save money. We rented a 4x4 automatic midsize SUV, which is much more expensive than the regular cars we usually rent, which allowed us the opportunity to see new areas. And Cynthia and I were able to do an impromptu horseback riding trip without feeling like we were breaking the bank and emptying our wallets. And compared to how I traveled to Iceland as a poor pre-med student in 2013, this experience was totally different because of the financial flexibility that I earned for my hard work over all of these years.

Of course, with all the good parts of the trip listed above, there were aspects of the trip that I wish had been a bit better. I wish the lighting, the skies, and the overall photography conditions were better. Even though you have almost 24 hours of sunlight, sometimes, that’s not necessarily a good thing for trip-limited landscape photography. I wish the eruption in Geldingadalir and Fagradalsfjall was crazier with cool-looking lava waterfalls and lava streams and lava spews the two times we went so that my photographs would have turned out awesome-r. But unfortunately, it only started getting really cool about a week after we left, with the volcano now way more active (in spurts) and now overflowing with lava rivers and lava waterfalls carving their way through the dark landscape and dark nights. I wish we had maybe 5 to 7 more days in Iceland. If we did, we could have slowed things down and spaced out our driving a little more so that we didn’t feel like we were driving most of the day. With more time, we would’ve been able to sleep in on more days. With more time, we would’ve been able to fit in some of the sights that we skipped due to time constraints (though part of the trip’s time constraints was due to something we couldn’t have predicted or planned for). And with more time, we would’ve been able to spend more time in Reykjavik soaking up the city life and meeting up with friends without having to stuff it all into a 24-hour period.

But at the end of the day, we made the most of our trip, saw spectacular things, had fun with the family and with friends, and made it home safely. You can’t really ask for anything more than that when going on a slightly last-minute trip during the COVID pandemic with older parents and with Cynthia working remotely and making a huge trip out of the original idea of solo volcano hunting. Nothing is perfect but at least we all had a great time and came home with great memories and photos to share!

And to end my trip reflection, just a quick word/phrase dump of things that I’ll remember most from Iceland v3:

Erupting Volcano/Vent With No Name. Geldingadalir. Fagradalsfjall. Highland Waterfalls. Zooming with 4WD. Midnight Sun. Gravel Roads. Cynthia Half-Days. Colorful Puffins. Chasing Waterfalls. Short and Stubby Horses. Sunrise and Sunset. Friends. 2021 Kia Sportage. Myvatn. Friendly Locals. Good Food. Homecooking. Restaurants. Sleep Deprivation. Engagement Photos. Third Time. Fjords. F Roads. Right Heel Pain. Photos Galore. Midnight Volcano Hike. COVID-19. Mom and Icelandic Names. Windy. Lupines. Hikes. Free Delicious Breakfasts. Trip Delay. Pandemic Travels.

Trip Superlatives

Best Waterfalls:

1. Haifoss

2. Sigöldugljúfur

3. Dynjandi

4. Svartifoss

5. Hrafnabjargafoss

6. Aldeyjarfoss

7. Kirkjufellsfoss

8. Skogafoss

9. Seljalandsfoss

10. Goðafoss

Best Photo Opps:

1. The Geldingadalsgos Eruption

2. The Colorful Puffins at Borgarfjörður eystri

3. The Icelandic Wildflowers Everywhere

4. Vestrahorn at Sunrise

5. The South Highland Waterfalls (Haifoss and Sigöldugljúfur)

Most Incredible Views:

1. The Geldingadalsgos Eruption

2. The Lupine Fields in South Iceland

3. The Colorful Puffins at Borgarfjörður eystri

4. Dynjandi Waterfall and Cascade

5. The South Highland Waterfalls (Haifoss and Sigöldugljúfur)

6. Fjord Views in the East Fjords

7. Sunset/Sunrise Skies

Best Hike:

1. Erupting Volcano/Vent-Viewing Hike at Geldingadalsgos

2. Dynjandi Waterfall Hike in the Westfjords

3. Svartifoss Hike at Skaftafell in Vatnajokull National Park

Most Underwhelming Sights:

1. Asbyrgi Canyon

2. Aldeyjarfoss

3. Vestrahorn at Sunset

Best Accommodation:

1. Sel Hotel Myvatn in Myvatn

2. Our AirBnBs in Akureyri and Reykjavik

3. Black Beach Suites Outside of Vik

Best Homemade Meals:

1. Huy’s Icelandic Hot Dogs for Lunch

2. Modge Podge Leftovers Mi Xao for Dinner

3. Hot Sausage/Egg/Bread for Breakfast

Best Restaurant Meal:

1. Lunch at Salka in Husavik

2. Dinner at The Restaurant at Sel Hotel Myvatn in Myvatn

3. Dinner at Strondin Pub in Vik

Best Accommodation Breakfast:

1. Breakfast Spread at Sel-Hotel Myvatn in Myvatn

2. Breakfast Spread at Malarhorn Guesthouse

3. Breakfast at Guesthouse Nypugardar

Best Dessert/Bakery:

1. Pastries at Sandholt Reykjavik on Laugavegar in Reykjavik

2. Soft-Serve Ice Cream at Ísbúðin Akureyri

3. Orange Cheesecake from Blaa Kannan Cafe in Akureyri

4. Pastries from Kristjan’s Bakari in Akureyri

Best Road Trip Snack:

1. Savory Snacks (Chips, Chex Mix)

2. Fruit Snacks

3. Pastries and Baked Goods

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just-positive-thingys · 5 years

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Long post (Depression tips)

I was going to write this on my main but I figured it might be able to help someone else.

For the last month and a bit I’ve been in a pretty bad depressive episode and I’m not sure when it’s going to end (hence the lack of posting) but I have a few tips to make some daily tasks easier.

Now these won’t help for everyone and won’t help all the time. Everyone is different and every episode is different.

The way I look at things here, is giving your best is not the same everyday. I know I say it a lot, but it’s important to remember. My best today was getting out of bed and eating 1 meal. Whereas other days my best is getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating properly and writing 3000 words.

So giving 25% instead of 100% is better than nothing.

Hygiene

1. Change your underwear and socks. Even if you throw on the same clothes as yesterday. Depression is hard and makes basic tasks seem so difficult or you simply forget. If you can’t do both, change your underwear.

2. Brush your teeth If you can’t do both morning and night, do mornings. Start the day fresh. If you can’t do 2 minutes, try a minute and a bit of mouthwash. Or at least mouthwash if you can

3. Deodorant I use spray and I carry a roll on in my bag just incase I forget to put it on in the morning or I feel like I need a top up. I have a fear of smelling bad so I leave it in my bag

4. Baby wipes If you can’t shower, give yourself a quick wipe over with baby wipes. You’ll feel a bit better

5. Shower I know the baby wipes are above but at some point you will have to shower. Even if you jump in and stand under the water for a bit. Try some soap and shampoo your hair.

6. Clean your hair, and brush it Again, at some point, if you have long or short hair you will have to wash and brush it. If you need help, ask someone close to you to wash your hair and brush it. If no one will, do a bit at a time. Kids detangler conditioner works a treat.

7. Baths If you can. Evening baths are like my depression go to. They help me sleep and if I put in some nice smelling bubble bath then if I can’t wash, I can kinda convince myself that I kinda did wash.

Tackling tasks

Okay so sitting at home in a blanket and either crying or staring at a wall seems like a great idea and all you can do. But trust me, them tasks aren’t going to do themselves. But we’ll work on them

1. Depression naps are like my go to. But it gets to the point where I don’t feel better after a nap and instead take another nap. I mean today I took 4 naps. Wasn’t great. So sometimes naps work, sometimes they do not.

2. Eat something. This is where I struggle. I forget to eat. So try alarms, reminding you to eat a meal. Pre make healthy decent meals and freeze them or cook something simple up. Honestly anything is better than nothing. My go to food is chocolate spread on bread. I have an unhealthy amount of chocolate spread in my cupboard. But it’s easy, quick and least it’s something. But salads are also great and if I have time and the stuff, I’ll make a salad. Plus you can add pretty much anything to it to make it a whole meal. Also make sure to drink plenty of water.

3. Go to work or school Okay hear me out. It’s hard. I’ve had depression since I was 10 so I have lived through school, college and work with depression. It sucks like a bitch. Try talking to tutors for extensions and extra help. Make use of the library for a place to study. Talk to school counsellors if you feel up to it. If you have to, take a sick day, but with work, depending how good your work is, they will eventually start to get pissy. I go in and have used the ‘I have a cold thats why I look like shit’ excuse to the point people know it’s my code for ‘depression is kicking my arse.’ I basically pretend I’m someone else and I’m a spy and I have to hide in cover. Whatever works for you. But chances are, if you’re working, you need the money, so you need to go to work. If you can’t go to work due to depression, talk to your work place, or to a doctor.

I also got ahead while I could. I took A-level graphics design in college and second year was so much work. Like if you got behind, you would be trying to catch up for weeks. Instead, when I felt up to it I asked for the next project so I could start on it. My tutor was also my form tutor so understood really well after I explained to him. At the start of the year I was a whole project ahead. By the middle of the year, I was at the same part as everyone else. If I got behind I also asked for an extension or extra help. I went to graphics in free periods to catch up.

4. Day to day tasks So my room is a tip. It’s been over a month since I’ve cleaned it. Are the clothes on the floor clean or dirty?? Who knows?? At this point, not me. Break it up. Don’t look at your room and think about cleaning it all. Think about doing 1 thing at a time. So tomorrow, I’m going to go through my clothes on the floor and figure out if it’s clean or dirty. I’ll then put the dirty clothes in the washer and place the clean clothes into a pile on the floor. Ready for the next task which is putting them away. Figure out what tasks need doing, and sort them into smaller tasks. One of my tasks was to literally clean my whiteboard in my room. Simple for most people, but when you have depression it’s a huge task. Please don’t beat yourself up.

5. Meds If you are on meds, take them. If they aren’t working, talk to your doctor.

6. Exercise. I know, i hate hearing this one. People think they know everything. Go to a yoga class?? Mate I can’t even leave my house. Oh do a yoga video inside?? I have no motivation and what is everyone’s obsession with yoga. Go for a walk?? Can’t leave my house and people aren’t seeing me like this on my day off.

Hear me out. If you can get up every once in a while, stretch. Stretch up, and down. Untense your jaw, shoulders and hands. If you can jog on the spot. I don’t care if it’s for 5 seconds. Watching TV?? Get up and jog on the spot and sit down again. There is no certain time you do it for, you just need to move. You can go as long or as little as you want, as long as you get up. If you can’t, move your legs sitting down. Shake them, stretch them.

7. Friends If you can organise a meet up. I’m not talking about everyone you know. I mean maybe one person who understands and have a movie marathon or go out somewhere. Sometimes just going out can help.

Remember depression is different for everyone and only you know what works for you. Not all of these will work for you and sometimes they will work then wont work. It’s difficult to know what will help at the time. But just know one thing. You’re not alone.

#positivity #positive #positivity blog #positive blog #positive vibes #depression #anxiety #self care #happy #calm #positive quotes #positive thinking #positive only #mental health support #positive support #long post

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things2mustdo · 4 years

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Win the morning. Win the day.

Step 1 – Hydrate

The first thing you need to do upon waking is chug some H2O. The average male body is made up of 60% water and you have just spent a number of hours without it. Even slight dehydration can suppress your testosterone and growth hormone production. But getting hydrated is only half the battle. You also have to make sure that you’re not drinking estrogenic water.

Water is one of nature’s best solvents, i.e. the solids it comes into contact with eventually dissolve into it. This can be dangerous given the fact that a large portion of us drink water from plastic bottles. A lot has been said about plastics here at ROK, and for good reason – plastics are a silent killer of masculinity. They contain chemicals like BPA and phthalates, both of which exert potent estrogenic effects on the male body. Avoid drinking water from plastic bottles.

Ideally, you have access to spring water that is pure of chlorine, heavy metals, and contaminants. Findapsring can help you discover a spring near you. The next best option is to opt for a Pur filter to attach to your faucet or a Brita pitcher you can fill up and stick in the fridge. Either way, start your mornings with at least 12 ounces of pure, filtered water.

Step 2 – Make Your Bed

After getting hydrated and using the toilet, go ahead and make your bed.

Admiral McRaven, retired Navy Seal and author of Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life, said it best:

Making your bed will reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made – that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

Unfortunately, I was unable to find any evidence to support the fact that making your bed boosts testosterone, but do it anyway. It will continue to build on the positive momentum you have moving forward.

Step 3 – Get Lit

Next up, get outside and soak some sun. Your skin synthesizes vitamin D upon exposure to sunlight and vitamin D is crucial for testosterone production. If you’re currently deficient in vitamin D – and chances are, you are – then topping up your levels is perhaps the simplest way to boost your testosterone.

“But Mo, I live in Alaska and the sun barely comes out. Does this mean I’m doomed to a life of low testosterone?”

Worry not my friend. If you live in a part of the world that doesn’t get much sun (or you’re just too lazy to go outside), opt for a daily dose of 2000-5000IU of vitamin D3 to help optimize your levels.

Step 4 – Breathe Deeply

Whether it’s work, family, or financial pressures all of us have something that we’re stressed about. The problem, though, lies not in the stress itself but in our inability to deal with it effectively. This leads to the stress becoming chronic. Chronic stress is a testosterone killer, but deep diaphragmatic breathing is a proven way to conquer it.

Diaphragmatic breathing is a central tenet of the Wim Hof Method. Wim Hof is a modern day alpha superhuman known for setting a number of extreme sports world records and climbing Mount Everest during a blizzard in nothing but his shorts. What’s more is that he has taught groups of men to achieve similar feats. I bought and completed Wim Hof’s 10-week program a while back, but diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that I’ve carried on with till today.

Here’s how to get started:

Inhale through your mouth and/or nose deep into your diaphragm and exhale without any effort. Maintain a consistent rhythm for about 30 breaths. You should begin to feel a slight lightheadedness and tingling sensations in your extremities. This is a sign that your blood is becoming hyper-oxygenated. At this point, take one last deep breath, exhale, and hold for as long as you can. When you feel the urge to breathe again, take a deep breath in, hold for 20-30 seconds, and let go. That is one full cycle of what’s come to be known as the Wim Hof Method.

I do three cycles of this every single morning. I also make it a point to track my breath retention progress. When I started, I could only hold my breath for 45 seconds. Today, I can hold it for over 3 minutes.

Step 5 – Hop Into a Cold Shower

The direct link between cold showers and higher testosterone levels is not conclusive, but there is some evidence to suggest that the testes perform better in cold temperatures. Also, cold showers are a proven way to combat inflammation.

But the biggest reason to start taking cold showers everyday is to exercise your willpower. I’ve been taking cold showers for about 3 years now and I still find myself resisting them. But after the shower is over, I always feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in overcoming that little voice in my head that didn’t want to do it.

As Aubrey Marcus writes in Own the Day, Own Your Life:

In the smithy of life, cold exposure is the anvil against which your character is shaped and your resolve is hardened, so that you might confront your chronic stress and conquer it more completely.

Step 6 – Skip Breakfast

If you believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you’re still plugged into the bluepill world of mainstream consciousness.

Skipping breakfast is a proven way to boost testosterone, skyrocket growth hormone, ward of oxidative stress, regulate insulin, and increase cellular repair. You can read about the science behind all these benefits here.

Simply push your first meal back 4-6 hours after waking. If you get hungry in between, drink some black coffee to suppress your appetite. The second option is to go for the 16/8 method of intermittent fasting whereby you choose an 8-hour window within which to fit all your meals, e.g between 12pm – 8pm, 10am-6pm, etc.

Conclusion

Starting your day with these six steps will not only boost your testosterone levels, but will also help transform you into a more grounded and powerful version of yourself.

https://www.returnofkings.com/195107/develop-your-discipline-with-this-simple-habit

If you’re like most men, there’s a gap between your intentions and your actions. You know what you need to do to get what you want, but have difficulty in following through. Want to get better with women? Interact with more women. Want to get in shape? Eat less, move more. Want to make more money? Leverage your time and focus on income producing activities. Sounds pretty simple when I put it like that, but simple does not mean easy.

Not too long ago, I found it difficult to crawl out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and barely had the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, cold approach women, and build a business. I was caught in a downward spiral, breaking out of which required a tremendous amount of will. Thankfully, I realized that the root cause of my problems could be narrowed down to the simple fact that I lacked discipline. Now, I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the missing link between everything you are and everything you’re capable of being. I believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure in every aspect of life.

In this article, I’ll discuss the #1 way I’ve found to develop my self-discipline and skyrocket my energy, mood, and focus in the process.

Cold Showers: The Secret to Sending Your Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally realize the power of rising early and set an alarm for 5:00am the next day. The next morning, you groggily wake up to the sound of your alarm buzzing and a part of you tries to convince you to hit the snooze. The decision you make in that moment – whether to get out of bed or to hit the snooze – is the decision that makes all the difference.

Self-discipline is the ability to do what needs to be done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. Getting out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, sets the momentum towards taking right action despite what your emotions tell you. It’s the same with taking a cold shower. When you enter your shower and think about turning the knob to “C,” you will hear the same voice trying to talk you out of it. But when you turn the knob anyway, you have effectively overcome that lower part of yourself and are letting your mind know who’s in charge. Then, later on in the day, when that voice tries to talk you into skipping a workout or reaching for those cookies, you are less likely to listen.

Having taken cold showers relatively consistently over the past couple of years, I know for sure that the days I start with a cold shower are always more productive than the days that I don’t. True freedom is impossible without a mind made free through discipline, and starting my day with a cold shower is the best way I’ve found to practice my willpower, develop my discipline, and learn to associate pleasure with doing the hard things in life.

Can Taking a Cold Shower Boost Your Testosterone?

As a reader of RoK and the manosphere, you’ve probably heard about cold showers in the context of boosting testosterone. Having researched this topic in-depth (check out my ultimate guide here), I’ll be the first to tell you that there is no definitive evidence to back this claim up.

Does this mean that cold showers don’t boost testosterone?

No. What it means is that there are currently no studies that have observed the phenomenon. Understand that the majority of scientific research is driven by economics. Since cold water is cheap and nobody owns the rights to it, there is no financial incentive to drive the research. This is where anecdotal evidence (personal accounts) becomes important – and there is no shortage of that. A simple Google search for “cold shower benefits” will reveal countless testimonials from men who’ve experienced profound transformation by implementing cold showers as a regular part of their life.

Although the direct link between cold showers and testosterone has not been studied, there are a bunch of mechanisms through which cold exposure can indirectly affect your T.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sNpMed1RmE

The Scientifically Proven Benefits of Cold Showers

Anyone who’s taken a cold shower before can attest to the increased levels of energy and focus they feel afterwards. The reason? It all comes down to a hormone called norepinephrine.

Cold water exposure stimulates the fight-or-flight response in your sympathetic nervous system and causes a massive release of norepinephrine. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure at a temperature of 57°F (14°C) caused a 530% increase of norepinephrine and a 250% increase of dopamine – both of which go hand-in-hand to cause a massive lift in energy, focus, and mood. On the flip side, low levels of norepinephrine and dopamine correlate with diminished focus, drive, and depression. In fact, part of how antidepressants work is by increasing the uptake of norepinephrine and dopamine in your brain. The positive effect of cold exposure on mood is so profound that researchers have begun studying it as a possible measure against depression.

Furthermore, cold water exposure has also been shown to boost immune function, increase fat-loss, and even speed up muscle recovery.

Conclusion

All in all, starting your day with a cold shower is a quick and easy way to boost your immune system, speed up your fat-loss, increase your energy levels, and massively develop your self-discipline in the process.

Download my FREE 5-Step Testosterone Optimization Blueprint and move towards a life of more energy, health, and vitality.

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 5 years

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Click, Click

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4 , 5 , 6 , 7, 8 , 9 , 10 , 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Chapter Twenty:

You woke up alone.

It wasn’t that you were exactly upset you were alone; you were just surprised that you were in your bed. You sat up blankly and looked down at your hands. As you did so you noticed that Caitlin was seated in the bed next to you, she looked up at you from her phone.

“You slept quite a while,” she commented softly. You wrinkled your nose.

“I guess,” you mumbled. “Uh, how’d I get up here?”

“Jihoon,” Caitlin replied with a wave of her hand. “Just before he left. He left something for you too.”

Caitlin gestured down to wardrobe and on it there was a small folded paper. You were surprised by the sight of it. He’d never left you anything handwritten before.

You scrambled down to the foot of the bed and took the note between your fingers. It was only folded once, so it was easy to open.

Jihoon’s handwriting was relatively neat. Round and clustered, but overall pretty easy for you to read. You didn’t even read it at first, you just ran your fingers lightly over the hangul, taking your time to admire the characters for what they were, for what they looked like.

You sighed and lowered yourself to the floor, pressing your back against the wooden wardrobe.

The note was small, but it was easy for you to tell right away what it was.

A song. Jihoon had written you a song. Color rose to your cheeks, as you read over the words. At first, you weren’t really able to read any of it, your brain kept defaulting to English, trying to convince you that you didn’t even know the Korean language. You were so confused. None of the characters made sense.

All you could focus on were a handful of English words he had written.

Love, Happiness, when you smile

It made your heart skip a beat. You closed your eyes and dragged your legs up against your chest, hugging the piece of paper to your heart.

God, you missed him already.

“He’s so in love with you, you know, that right?”

You looked back up at Caitlin and rolled your eyes.

“Oh, he cares about me a lot,” you mumbled softly. “But I wouldn’t jump to love you know?”

Caitlin swung her legs over the edge of her bed and gave you an amused look.

“You sure are something you know that? Both of you,” she mumbled. She glanced to the side and groaned. “Well, this may be morning for you, but I’m going to sleep.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“What time is it?”

“2am,” Caitlin mumbled back. You couldn’t hold back a surprised exhale.

“Did I sleep all day?” You mumbled. Caitlin gave you back a sleepy hum, and lazily raised a thumb into the air. You considered asking her more, but you could tell she was tired. She had to be up early for classes too. You shouldn’t bother her.

You got to your feet, and quietly brushed out of the room, you were surprised to bump into Julia in the hallway. Quite literally too. Your immediate reaction to bumping into her was to reach out and steady your friend, giving her a wary smile once you were sure that you were both stable.

“Sorry,” you whispered. She waved it off, not even looking phased by the sudden collision.

“No biggie,” she assured. “You feeling any better?”

You let a smile cross your lips and held your arms out.

“Immensely,” you stated. She smiled and nodded.

“Good.” She swept some hair out of her face and sighed.

“I’m going to get some sleep, don’t do anything crazy while we’re asleep okay?”

You wondered briefly what she thought was crazy.

You did a number of things every day that people could consider crazy. Likewise, Julia did too. Going to bed at two in the morning was crazy, after all.

The phrase alone, don’t do anything crazy was loaded when it came to you. Because everything you did was kind of crazy. Coming to Korea was crazy, getting a job here was crazy, missing school yesterday was crazy. You, in a sense were crazy.

So, while maybe you should’ve applied Julia’s words differently, to maybe interpret. Stay safe and don’t get hurt, you just ignored them all completely. You fixed your shirt, and threw on a jacket and headed outside, intent on buying something to eat while you passed the time at the nearest convenience store.

Because going to the store at two in the morning all alone wasn’t crazy. It was stupid. Just plain stupid, but you didn’t figure there was too much a point in dwelling over it. You loved going out at night and nothing bad had happened yet, so you didn’t really see the harm in resolving your current craving for some salty chips.

You had maybe already been there for fifteen minutes, mind focused on which bag was the one you were truly craving, and how much you could really afford. After all, you loved one brand of chips, but could you really afford-

“They weren’t lying when they said you make truly awful life decisions, were they?”

You turned your head in surprise, looking over at the deep voice. Before you stood Mingyu, eyes wide, lips stretched out in a large smile he pointed at you with the end of a celery stick he had in his hand and let out an exclamatory noise.

“Mingyu!” You blurted. You dropped the bag of chips that were in your hand and rested it on your heart. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Mingyu smiled at you, a toothy smile, one that you didn’t reflect. Instead, you pressed your lips together and knelt down to pick up the bag. As you did, Mingyu stooped down as well, picking up the bag before you had the chance to. He was back up, towering above you before you were even able to brush your fingers against the air that the bag had been near. You frowned and looked up at Mingyu.

“What are you up to?” You asked unsurely. Mingyu shrugged and gestured towards the bag.

“Reading the ingredients,” he mumbled. “These aren’t good for you.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I didn’t come here to be judge-”

You reached for the bag, only for them to be quickly pulled from your grasp. Mingyu spun away from you, down the aisle, leaving all of his things in his wake. You raised an eyebrow at the behavior, and he shrugged.

“You should be eating healthier, what would Jihoon say?”

You snorted indignantly, placing your hands on your hips.

“Who cares?” You droned. “I’m an independent? I don’t make my decisions based on the fleeting opinions of some guy.”

Even as you spoke, the gears in your mind were turning. As much as you hated to admit it you knew that Mingyu was right. You should be settling for a healthier thing to eat. After all, the only thing you had eaten recently were those noodles with Jihoon. Yeah, you had the excuse of sleeping through the day, and in return sleeping through the majority of meals, but that didn’t mean that you had any excuse to not eat well now.

Still you didn’t want to give Mingyu the satisfaction of knowing that he was right. You slid your hands into your pockets, and raised a daring eyebrow towards him, one that he seemed to take with the cautiousness of someone with that of a faint heart.

“Some guy?” Mingyu scoffed. “Some guy you’re utterly whipped for.”

He set the chips on one of the top shelves- not where it belonged- and then walked over to you, taking your wrist with his hand.

“But I mean you are an independent. Do as you wish, oh ye of your own free will,” he teased lightly. You were unashamed to poke the bigger man in the side, making him jump in surprise. It freed you from his grasp- even though it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

You liked being around Mingyu.

He was brass, and loud, and always made the mood of any room he was in. Whether he unwittingly made everyone happy or gave the room a reason to band together and yell at him for being a little silly, he was always a welcome addition to the life of Seventeen.

And you knew that he was close with Jihoon. You were forever indebted to him for the smiles that Mingyu and Jihoon shared with one another. You loved the way that Mingyu could make Jihoon smile and laugh, even when maybe Jihoon didn’t want to. He was essential in Jihoon’s life, maybe knew Jihoon better than you ever would.

“What are you doing out here so late?” You asked Mingyu. As much as you hated to give in, you let the man lead you away from the salty snack goods down the aisle towards the fresher items in the store. Of course, the items you would find in a convenience store wouldn’t be the freshest. Especially not this late, but there was no point in not exploring your options, nonetheless.

“I like to shop at night,” Mingyu replied pointedly. “It’s quiet. You don’t see many people.”

You stared at him quietly, unwilling to admit that you shared the same sentiment.

The grocery store could be so chaotic during the day. The music blared loudly, and there will people to your left and right at all times. It was stressful. It made your heart seize if someone passed too close to you or if you were in someone’s way, god forbid you weren’t with someone that you could grab onto for some sort of mental stability.

At night, there was generally no one around. You could do whatever you wanted, and you hardly ever got caught- of course ignoring the few times that you had run into Seventeen members at these times. Back at home, you had spent many nights wandering down the aisle of a grocery store that was open late. Sometimes you spent hours wandering around the store, so completely whipped for the atmosphere it brought that it only seemed right to spend so much time there.

Shopping at night wasn’t just an experience, it was like some sort of therapy. One that you knew you shouldn’t indulge in- being out that late just simply wasn’t safe- but one that you did anyways.

You reached forward, your fingers touching the plastic wrapper of a triangle of nori and rice. You hummed.

“You have an early schedule. You should sleep.”

“My dormmate is never home,” Mingyu stated, not missing a beat. You looked over at him, raising an eyebrow at the sudden accusation. “He stays busy in the studio all night. I swear, he never comes around.”

“Still?” You murmured with a sigh. Something ran through your body, at first you thought maybe it was frustration, but you quickly recognized it to be something else.

Concern.

“Is he-”

He waved off your concern before you could even voice it.

“He’s better than he used to be,” Mingyu admitted, despite his accusation just a second ago. “He naps well, and he eats a lot. He’s so much more conscious of his own health now that he’s dating you.”

“Is he?” You asked, your voice faint. You pressed the rice ball through the plastic it was encased in, wondering briefly if you would like this flavor. You hadn’t ever tried this particular one for triangular kimbap, but the one you usually got was currently out of stock… You figured rice and meat and nori was fairly healthy too. A good treat that anyone could feasibly stand behind.

“You were with him not long ago, weren’t you?”

You turned to look at Mingyu, ripping your eyes away from the snack in your hand.

“He came over around noon,” you admitted. Mingyu nodded, slowly. He had a smile spread over his lips. Not a smirk… No, his expression wasn’t as mischievious as it usually tended to be. It was genuine. It was soft. It made you relax a little bit under his vision’s scrutiny.

“I’m glad you two find time for each other,” Mingyu admitted. He shrugged, this time being the one to turn his attention away from you. “Whenever you two aren’t around one another he misses you a lot. He doesn’t say it, of course, you know Jihoon. But he likes being around you.”

You had never really been around someone who needed to be around you as much as you did. Well, at least you hadn’t since you were younger. Back in Elementary school you never felt like you had invited yourself into any situation. You knew that you were wanted as much as you wanted your friends to be around. You guys were stupid, and laughed, and messed around and it was ridiculously fun to spend time with the people around you.

As you got older however, things felt more strained.

At some point you had realized you were the glue in the majority of your friend groups. The one person keeping two different aspects of one larger group of people together. You had never imagined that you would have an issue with your friends liking one another, but when your middle school group of friends fell apart as soon as you left, you felt the pressure fall on your shoulders to try to comfort all parties from hours and hours away.

You thought it was odd, even to this day, that you had been so important to that group of friends, as they hadn’t all seemed that interested in you most of the time. They paired up with their own friends, generally leaving you as the odd one out in the group, and weren’t afraid to wander away from you to do their own thing. It was like that in high school too. Your friend group never seemed like it needed you. They all had their own people in the group, leaving you as some awkward sort of third wheel that just hoped between groups with a large smile splayed on your fast.

You used to be so happy to just be around people that were happy. Nowadays, when people looked at you, expecting that childlike wonder to still be spread over your lips, it was difficult to keep up appearances.

Even being happier with Jihoon meant little for the fact that around your friends you could feel so alone. How was it that they didn’t care enough about you to ask you if you were okay and to push when you were so obviously lying.

How was it that they saw how willing you were to flip your entire world upside down for them without saying a word, but were unwilling to do the same for you even when you tepidly asked?

It was frustrating, and you were sure it was all in your head. When it boiled down to it, after all, the problem had to be you right? If you felt alone with the majority of your friends, then process of elimination you had to be the problem.

Maybe-

“Oh my god, you really do just disappear, sometimes don’t you?”

You jolted your attention back to Mingyu, who was staring at you, looking mildly annoyed.

“Huh?”

He thumped you on the head.

“I mean- it looks like you’re solving the theory of everything. Get out of your head!” He insisted. You wrinkled your nose at him, wanting once again to tell him off, and… frustratingly enough, being unable to.

Maybe you were overthinking things just a little bit.

“Who said that I disappear?” You asked stubbornly. He raised an eyebrow.

“Everyone you’ve met so far from Seventeen. Except Jihoon, he just won’t admit it,” Mingyu retorted. He seemed to think over his words. “I mean it’s not a bad thing, but it’s like you keep everything to yourself. Everyone has baggage and worries and blah, blah, blah. Don’t keep it all to yourself. You’re just going to stress yourself out.”

You thought over the statement and sighed.

Today simply wasn’t the day for this conversation. Not with Mingyu- not with anyone. Not yet at least. You waved your kimbap treasure in Mingyu’s face and stuck your tongue out.

“Sustaining enough?” You asked. “Come on, what else do you have to get? I’ll help you out… stupid.”

Mingyu let the previous topic drop and showed you the rest of his list. You were grateful for it, but either way, he had given you a lot to think about. In a way that you weren’t entirely ready to admit.

Chapter Twenty-One

#okay so i barely edited this #sorry >.<#Hope you guys still like it though!!#seventeen #Lee Jihoon #lee jihoon seventeen #Woozi Fanfiction #Seventeen Fanfiction #Click Click by leejihoonownsmyheart

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rfield87 · 4 years

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Writing Advice from Best-Selling Authors: Stephen King

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This week’s re-blog is one that was written by Lauren Passell, and is titled: Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers. It was published on March 22, 2013. If you would like to read the blog on the Barnes & Noble website where I found it, I will leave the link below.

(When I was re-writing this blog I found some typo errors and corrected them as I went along. It must be the editor in me.)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/stephen-kings-top-20-rules-for-writers/

Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

Stephen King’s books have sold over 350 million copies. Like them or loathe them, you have to admit that’s impressive. King’s manual On Writing reveals that he’s relentlessly dedicated to his craft. He admits that not even The King himself always sticks to his rules - but trying to follow them is a good start. Here are our favorite pieces of advice for aspiring writers:

1. First write for yourself, and then worry about the audience. “When you write a story, you’re telling yourself the story. When you rewrite, your main job is taking out the things that are not the story. Your stuff starts out being just for you, but then it goes out.

2. Don’t use passive voice. “Timid writers like passive verbs for the same reason that timid lovers like passive partners. The passive voice is safe. The timid fellow writes “The meeting will be held at seven o’clock” because that somehow says to him, ‘Put it this way and people will believe you really know.’ Purge this quisling thought! Don’t be a muggle! Throw back your shoulders, stick out your chin, and put that meeting in charge! Write ‘The meeting’s at seven.’ There, by God! Don’t you feel better?”

3. Avoid adverbs. “The adverbs is not your friend. Consider the sentence “He closed the door firmly.” It’s by no means a terrible sentence, but ask yourself if ‘firmly’ really has to be there. What about context? What about the enlightening (not to say emotionally moving) prose which came before ‘He closed the door firmly’? Shouldn’t this tell us how he closed the door? And if the foregoing prose does tell us, then isn’t ‘firmly’ an extra word? Isn’t it redundant?”

4, Avoid adverbs, especially after “he said” and “she said.” “While to write adverbs is human, to write ‘he said’ or ‘she said’ is divine.”

5. But don’t obsess over perfect grammar. “Language does not always have to wear a tie and lace-up shoes. The object of fiction isn’t grammatical correctness but to make the reader welcome and then tell a story...to make him/her forget, whenever possible, that he/she is reading a story at all.”

6. The magic is in you. “I’m convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing. Dumbo got airborne with the help of a magic feather; you may feel the urge to grasp a passive verb or one of those nasty adverbs for the same reason. Just remember before you do that Dumbo didn’t need the feather; the magic was in him.”

7. Read, read, read. “You have tor read widely, constantly refining (and redefining) your own work as you do so. If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write.”

8. Don’t worry about making other people happy. “Reading at meals is considered rude in polite society, but if you expect to succeed as a writer, rudeness should be the second to least of your concerns. The least of all should be polite society and what it expects. If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered, anyway.”

9. Turn off the TV. “Most exercise facilities are now equipped with TVs, but TV - while working out or anywhere else - really is about the last thing an aspiring writer needs. If you feel you must have the news analyst blowhard on CNN while you exercise, or the stock market blowhards of MSNBC, or the sports blowhards of ESPN, it’s time for you to question how serious you really are about becoming a writer. You must be prepared to do some serious turning inward toward the life of the imagination, and that means, I’m afraid, the Geraldo, Keigh Oberman, and Jay Leno must go. Reading takes time, and the glass teat takes too much of it.”

10. You have three months. “The first draft of a book - even a long one - should take no more than three months, the length of a season.”

11. There are two secrets to success. “When asked for the ‘secret of my success’ (an absurd idea, that, but impossible to get away from), I sometimes say there are two: I stayed physically healthy, and I stayed married. It’s a good answer because it makes the question go away, and because there is an element of truth in it. The combination of a healthy body and a stable relationship with a self-reliant woman who takes zero shit from me or anyone else has made the continuity of my working life possible. And I believe the converse is also true: that my writing and the pleasure I take in it has contributed to the stability of my health and my home life.”

12. Write one word at a time. “A radio talk-show host asked me how I wrote. My reply - ‘One word at a time’ - seemingly left him without a reply. I think he was trying to decide whether or not I was joking. I wasn’t. In the end, it’s always that simple. Whether it’s vignette of a single page or an epic trilogy like ‘The Lord of the Rings,” the work is always accomplished one word at a time.”

13. Eliminate distraction. “There should be no telephone in your writing room, certainly no TV or videogames for you to fool around with. If there’s a window, draw the curtains or pull down the shades unless it looks out at a blank wall.”

14. Stick to your own style. “One cannot imitate a writer’s approach to a particular genre, no matter how simple what the writer is doing may seem. You can’t aim a book like a cruise missile, in other words. People who decide to make a fortune writing like John Grisham or Tom Clancy produce nothing but pale imitations, by and large, because vocabulary is not the same thing as feeling and plot is light years from the truth as it is understood by the mind and the heart.”

15. Dig. “When, during the course of an interview for The New Yorker, I told the interviewer (Mark Singer) that I believed stories are found things, like fossils in the ground, he said that he didn’t believe me. I replied that was fine, as long as he believed that I believed it. And I do. Stories aren’t souvenir tee-shirts or Game Boys. Stories are relics, part of an undiscovered pre-existing world. The writer’s job is to use the tools in his or her toolbox to get as much of each one out of the ground intact as possible. Sometimes the fossil you uncover is small; a seashell. Sometimes it’s enormous, a Tyrannosaurus Rex with all the gigantic ribs and grinning teeth. Either way, short story or thousand page whopper of a novel, the techniques of excavation remain basically the same.”

16. Take a break. “If you’ve never done it before, you’ll find reading your book over after a six-week layoff to be a strange, often exhilarating experience. It’s yours, you’ll recognize it as yours, even be able to remember what tune was on the stereo when you wrote certain lines, and yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. This is the way it should be, the reason you waited. It’s always easier to kill someone else’s darlings than it is to kill your own.”

17. Leave out the boring parts and kill your darlings. “Mostly when I think of pacing, I go back to Elmore Leonard, who explained it so perfectly by saying he just left out the boring parts. This suggests cutting to speed the pace, and that’s what most of us end up having to do (kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings).”

18. The research shouldn’t overshadow the story. “If you do need to do research because parts of your story deal with things about which you know little or nothing, remember the word back. That’s where research belongs; as far in the background and the back story as you can get it. You may be entranced with what you’re learning about the flesh-eating bacteria, the sewer system of New York, or the I.Q. potential of collie pups, but your readers are probably going to care a lot more about your characters and your story.”

19. You become a better writer simply by reading and writing. “You don’t need writing classes or seminars any more than you need this or any other book on writing. Faulkner learned his trade while working in the Oxford, Mississippi post office. Other writers have learned the basics while serving in the Navy, working in steel mills or doing time in America’s finer crossbar hotels. I learned the most valuable (and commercial) part of my life’s work while washing motel sheets and restaurant tablecloths at the New Franklin Laundry in Bangor. You learn best by reading a lot and writing a lot, and the most valuable lessons of all are the ones you teach yourself.”

20. Writing is about getting happy. “Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So, drink.”

Which of these rules do you like best?

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pronoova · 4 years

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15 Healthy Habits to Get Skinny Fast

Ever wondered what the nutrition secrets of athletes or celebrities are? Well now you don’t need to because below are 15 healthy habits to include into your get-in-shape regimen which will not only assist you to get skinny fast, but within the most healthiest way possible. For starters, change your attitude about food. Lastly, your goal to urge skinny should come second because it’s more important to enhance and maintain your overall health. confine mind the subsequent habits that have helped me stay track of my very own weight loss goals.

1. SAY “NO” TO A RIGID DIET

When most of the people start a diet, they typically eliminate foods or place certain foods as off-limits. you would like not to start a rigid diet for the purpose of depriving yourself of foods you're keen on. specialize in what you'll eat. I always say the key to the way to get skinny fast is accepting diets don’t work. you'll want to consult a nutrition expert and update your knowledge on foods laden with essential nutrients to assist correct years of poor diet.

If you retain labeling certain foods as off-limits, you finish up looking for them even more. ‘Not eliminating certain foods’ doesn't mean continuing to gorge on bad stuff, though. Regular consumption of meat-containing nutriment, as an example, can cause accumulation of LDL or bad cholesterol within the body. If you’re a coffee drinker or have an appetite, you would like not abruptly stop the caffeine or sugar intake. you'll make sugar an occasional treat, but not a diet staple. Eat (or drink) carefully, and confine mind other health tips, so read on.

2. FIND HEALTHY ALTERNATIVES FOR FAVORITE FOODS

Healthy food substitutes are often easily obtained. All-natural food stores in your neighborhood may offer a good assortment of healthy options which will replace old favorites and inflammation-causing and cholesterol-laden ingredients in your meals.

If you can't resist eating a slice of cake every day, choose a light-weight, flavorful, or maybe a sugar-free option. Just a couple of cautions, though. you'll be ditching high-fat foods and choosing low-fat products, but some food manufacturers have added sugar to form their offerings more palatable, causing some effects when consumed an excessive amount of, like making the body go haywire.

Avoid the pesky insulin spike which will be triggered by the consumption of straightforward carbohydrates. rather than eating polished rice every day, choose rice, a posh carbohydrate that has more nutrients, and can keep you fuller longer. Healthy fats also are important. rather than regular mayonnaise, choose a healthier condiment like mustard. to assist control blood glucose and support your weight loss plan, switch to safflower oil or other healthy cooking oils.

Instead of regular hamburger, you'll choose extra lean. Choose natural spread over reduced-fat spread which will contain more sugar and additives. If you always buy milk, switch to part-skim milk. rather than buying instant oatmeal, get the steel-cut type. rather than flavored yogurt, choose plain yogurt and add fresh fruit or two with a touch honey. Your body will enjoy the friendly bacteria.

The list goes on, when considering food substitutions. address authoritative health sites for a comprehensive guide to healthy substitution. albeit you’re eating out, you'll find healthier versions of your favorite foods.

3. DEVELOP A ROUTINE AND persist with IT

It is easy for many people to start a healthy eating plan, but follow-through is vital. you would like to convince yourself that you simply can lead an authentically healthy life, and it starts with a firm resolve to urge healthy & stay healthy. If you only tell yourself that you simply actually need to reduce and start eating carrots, greens, tofu, and rice, you would like to stay thereto a healthy eating plan. Online articles and videos may offer motivation and inspiration, but taking note of your body signals, realizing the advantages of healthy eating and feeling an entire lot better, depend upon you.

You can start developing an influence eating plan by knowing which foods offer you antioxidant protection, which of them can give brainpower boost, and which of them can energize. A high-performance nutrition plan may incorporate your old favorites, like mixing ice-cream as an example with a top-quality protein shake. the quantity of not-so-healthy stuff can gradually be reduced. Once your body gets familiar with healthier foods, you develop a taste for them and the likelihood is that, you'll not yearn for the unhealthy stuff.

Another routine you'll want to start out, after consulting together with your doctor, maybe a weight loss management program that’ll assist you attain a trimmer, healthier physique.

4. REDUCE STRESS

Keeping stress at a minimum can benefit your body in some ways. Stress, doctors say, inhibits the system. By beating stress, you retain illnesses corner. There are countless ways to scale back stress, like taking note of soothing music, yoga/meditation, getting a massage, or getting to the beach or another tranquil place. most of the people melt away stress by sleeping or hanging out with friends. Avoiding people that tend to empty your energy with their complaints and problems can also be an efficient thanks to reduce stress.

There are other natural ways to market relaxation, like twiddling with your pet, doing simple stretches, taking a stroll, and taking an opportunity from email, TV, cellphones, and other things that cause information overload.

When overwhelmed by numerous things to try to, hit the pause button. you'll break down an enormous task into small, manageable chunks, Being more conscious of stress triggers — be it money, co-workers or bosses, health issues, `toxic’ friends, and other factors — will assist you to manage them and reduce stress.

5. run through EMOTIONAL ISSUES CAUSED BY EMOTIONAL OBESITY

You may project a robust persona, but there could also be times once you don’t feel fine, otherwise you cannot seem to purge it all at once. you'll head home with feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, resentment, anger, or with feedback loops. rather than expending time on illusion or other non-productive stuff, you'll check out your own emotions and find how to repair what’s bothering you.

Problems linked to your interpersonal relationships that contribute to worry may prompt you to succeed in for comfort foods or overeat. this will cause weight gain. By learning the way to manage your emotional problems, you're in effect taking food issues and unhealthy weight gain out of the equation.

6. EAT CLEAN FOODS

Clean eating has far-reaching benefits. If you’ve long been eating convenience foods or foodstuff like burgers, all that food can end up to be your enemy. you'll begin to feel sick. Power eating is all about putting good food into our bodies. Think organic produce. Think pork from real pastured pigs with more omega-3s, and beef from grass-fed cows.

You can celebrate albeit you decide for all-natural or organic eats. Just mix them up a touch. rather than regular eggs, try free-range eggs with more micronutrients, cooked & serve with other healthy eats. Purchasing clean/wholesome foods could also be costly, but they really offer more bang for the buck.

7. HAVE AN ACCOUNTABILITY SYSTEM

When you’ve begun a weight loss regimen, remember that you simply are in charge of your own actions. A fitness trainer, a nutritionist, or a naturopathic doctor may assist you. you'll prefer to be a fit & trim product of your healthy decisions, instead of thinking that you simply are destined to be fat.

Once you determine an orderly and healthy eating plan, you'll devise other ways to achieve it. you'll use a pairing when understanding, to assist you not only to lose the surplus pounds but keep them off.

Once during a while, you'll get lax and desire to indulge a touch. A weight-loss partner may remind you of your goals, but the choice to succeed in a healthy weight ultimately depends on you.

8. CONTROL YOUR PORTIONS

For most people, portion control could seem easier said than done. Veer faraway from super-sized meals and upsize offers. At buffets, it is often pretty challenging to resist filling your plate with different sorts of food, but believe how sick you’ll feel if you gorge. Let several minutes pass after eating, before going back (if ever). When buying food at the grocery, read labels.

Remember that portion control is one effective thanks to blast fat, so try to not ignore this tactic which will cause a trimmer figure.

9. TRACKING FOOD

You can track your nutritional intake, which isn't just a matter of counting calories, using several ways. you'll jot what you often ingest during a food diary. you'll also use online tools to log and track your food consumption. By tracking what you eat, you'll more easily get the proper balance of nutrients

10. EXERCISE!

Much has been said about the myriad health benefits of exercising. Yet many of us, including those that want to urge skinny fast, need constant reminders about how incorporating regular exercise in their schedules won't only raise their metabolism and burn calories fast, but also improve their overall wellness. once you attain a particular level of fitness thanks to regular, vigorous activity, your mind also improves, and you are feeling more responsive & hooked into life. My favorite gadget to possess available is that the Fit bit (great gift idea!) because it can tell me how active I’ve been throughout the day. It tracks your steps, distance, and calories burned.

11. EAT EVERY FEW HOURS

Eating small meals frequently, which can be around five to 6 meals every day, can assist you control food cravings. It’s a time-tested technique employed by individuals concerned about their expanding waistlines. you'll make sure that each small meal you're taking has quality protein sort of a boiled egg. Complex carbohydrates like rice, a bit of fresh fruit or vegetable, also as nuts, are nutritious and filling options. eating small meals several times each day will help keep your blood glucose in check.

12. DETOXIFY YOUR BODY

Your body can better absorb the nutrients it needs if you’ve lightened up the toxic load. Expelling toxins from the body is often done by drinking many purified water and loading abreast of superfoods. Veggies like artichoke, cabbage, kale, carrots, and garlic help purge the liver of poisons.

Blueberries, beets, avocados, beans, seeds (like chia seeds), and nuts that contain important nutrients also help eliminate toxins from the body here also are detoxifying beverages, like tea, that aid in weight loss. crop on refined sugars, saturated fats, alcohol, and caffeine.

13. HYDRATE YOUR BODY

Staying hydrated keeps the body in good working condition. Drinking enough fluids, including purified water, protein shakes, tea, and freshly squeezed juices also help cleanse the body of poisons. Drinking many water also can suppress appetite and aid in weight management.

14. COOK reception

If you cook reception, you've got the whip hand in ensuring that you simply and your relations will get sufficient nutrients. Cooking reception also removes the worry about hidden ingredients like gluten, which can trigger an immune reaction.

15. NEVER STOP TRYING

If you’ve tried everything and zip seems to be working to blast fat, seek professional help. albeit you’ve ruled out health issues, don’t stop trying to succeed in a healthy weight.

There are products, foods, techniques, and experts who can guide you towards getting a trimmer, healthier body. Seek help or devise an all-natural plan tailor-fitted for you, but don’t throw discipline & determination out the door

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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years

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Too Good To Be Wrong - Part 6 [M]

Summary: No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t resist Park Chanyeol, even if you knew it would test everything that you thought family stood for.

Genre: childhood friends & “siblings” to lovers au / forbidden romance / older woman - younger man au

Characters: Park Chanyeol x female reader

A/N: This is a series about falling in love with your “brother” Chanyeol - your family took him in when you were younger. It will contain mature content in later parts, but for the majority of the story it’s about reconnecting as adults and discovering feelings for each other.

I am expecting Too Good to be Wrong to be around 10 parts long, but this could change depending on how the story progresses in further parts.

Too Good To Be Wrong will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

**The steamy scene at the end of this part isn’t very descriptive but I’ve marked it as mature content just to be safe**

It was a new experience to have a boyfriend on your birthday. Even though you dated in the past, you had never celebrated your special day with anyone other than your family and friends. Of course, you had celebrated in many ways, traditionally with your family, growing up having birthday parties with everyone in your township turning up to wish you well. And in Seoul, you had gone to the clubs, you had done the expensive dinners and you had even gone to a light show on your birthday once.

This wasn’t your first birthday with Chanyeol either, given the many years you had known and then lived with him. But it was different now that he was your boyfriend.

As soon as you woke up, you knew it was going to be a day to remember. Instead of still being asleep, you opened your eyes to find Chanyeol staring at you, a smile growing on his lips when he recognised you were awake. “So this is what thirty looks like, huh?”

“Is it dreadful?” you asked tentatively, reaching to pat down your hair that you knew would be a mess. Chanyeol reached out to cease your action, bringing your hand over to his lips so he could kiss the skin on the back of your hand.

“I think you became more gorgeous overnight.”

You blushed and thumped at his chest playfully. “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m certain about it,” he continued, moving in closer to you so he could greet you with a morning kiss. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

“Not noona today?” you teased, feeling giddy with how he was staring at you. Chanyeol chuckled and then pulled you on top of him, your eyes widening at the sudden position change.

Although you had gotten pretty good at sharing everything with Chanyeol – food, drinks, endless kisses and even your bed, you hadn’t yet shared your body with him. There had been a few times where you had gotten close to baring yourself to Chanyeol when making out turned so heated that you were sweating by the time you pulled apart. But you hadn’t actually gone that far in your relationship. Most of the time you were satisfied with what you had already. Yet in positions that suddenly messed with your mind like this, you realised there was a craving building up for more. You blinked rapidly; knowing neither of you had time to lay in bed any longer than you had already. Chanyeol smirked at your obvious dishevelment, shaking his head at you. “What are you thinking?”

“Huh? Oh, just that I need to get in the shower. So do you,” you babbled and then gaped at how you constructed your sentence. “I mean, not at the same time. You need to shower first or I can go now and-”

“We could just conserve water and shower together?” Chanyeol offered and you turned beet red. His laugh was loud and he gently sat up, pulling you into his lap and burying into you. “Your face was priceless just now.”

“Don’t tease me like this, it’s my birthday,” you mumbled, feeling juvenile despite now being three decades old. You sighed heavily.

“Well, the birthday girl should go shower first so she can get ready for her day.” You nodded and got up, numbly making your way to the bathroom and shutting the door. Looking at yourself in the mirror on the wall, you tried to decipher if you had actually changed overnight as Chanyeol had proclaimed. Outwardly, you looked the same. But there was definitely something new buzzing around inside of you now.

All day long you were distracted by endless thoughts of Chanyeol from this morning’s predicament. Had you been too hasty with how quickly your arousal grew? Did Chanyeol even feel the position held any significance? You had straddled his lap a couple of times when making out on the sofa but it never had happened in bed before. Was that all it was, simply a different location allowing your limited experiences to heighten to a point that you couldn’t stop thinking about it? And when you felt that you had come to a conclusion on why for you, it led you down a path about him. Just how experienced was Chanyeol? You hadn’t thought to ask him how many partners he had before you. It hadn’t mattered during your relationship so far and considering it now seemed detrimental for you. All the same, you spent a lot of your day convincing yourself that Chanyeol had to be experienced in bed because no one would leave someone as handsome as him unattended for too long. And this only depressed you further.

“Delivery for you up at the front desk, Y/N.”

You glanced up at your co-worker who was smiling a little bitterly at her statement and frowned. Who would be delivering you anything? Getting up, you headed to the reception for your department and gasped at the bouquet of flowers that laid on the counter. They were your favourite flowers, though it didn’t actually register they were for you until the receptionist handed them to you.

“I didn’t know it was your birthday, Y/N!”

“Ah, well…” you replied meekly and reached for the card attached to the wrapping. You smiled at the earnest receptionist waiting for your response and then opened the card.

These flowers aren’t as beautiful as you but I hope they make you smile.

- Chanyeol xxx

“Do you also have a boyfriend that we didn’t know about?”

Glancing up at her, you nodded brightly, gripping the flowers to your chest happily. “I have the best boyfriend.”

Chanyeol continued to live up to his new title. You arrived home in a dreamy state and smelt the aroma within your apartment which immediately perked you up. Approaching Chanyeol in the kitchen as he finished dishing up the meal, you stretched up to meet him midway for a greeting kiss. “Thank you for the flowers. And for dinner too, it smells delicious.”

“You’re full of compliments for me,” he mused happily, gesturing for you to go over to the table so you could eat. Dinner passed with conversation over how both your day had gone, and then you insisted on helping Chanyeol with the dishes even if you were the birthday girl. Even doing the mundane chores you did together all the time felt different tonight and by the time you were seated on the sofa with a bunch of movies lined up on Netflix, you were kind of overwhelmed.

Chanyeol noticed. “I haven’t even done much for you today but you look like you’re about to cry with happiness.”

“Am not,” you refuted, blinking rapidly. Chanyeol chuckled as you snuggled into his side more to hide your growing emotions. “Today has been pretty amazing though. Thank you again, I love you.”

“What?”

“Hm?” You glanced up at Chanyeol’s stunned expression and frowned. “What did I say? I thanked you for helping me have such a wonderful day.”

“And you said you loved me,” he reminded. You sat up as you recalled your sentence and gasped. The words had fallen out so naturally that you hadn’t even second-guessed them. Staring back at him, you smiled and cupped his face in your hands. Leaning over, you pecked Chanyeol’s lips before nodding. “I do love you.”

“You can’t take it back.”

You rolled your eyes at his childish response. “Maybe I should.”

“No, you’ve said it twice now,” he stated firmly and pulled you onto his lap. You swallowed heavily at being back here again for the second time today. Chanyeol’s gaze was now burning and you felt your breath quicken. “You really do love me, right?”

“Of course, I love you.”

“Do you know how many years I’ve wanted to hear that?” he asked with a groan, his hands now firmly around your waist. He picked you up as he stood up and you tightened your grip around him. “Say it again.”

“Not unless you say it back,” you bartered and Chanyeol nodded, walking slowly towards his bedroom. “I love you, Chanyeol.”

“I love you too,” he murmured before crashing his lips down on yours, pushing you both into the wall to balance the increasing passion that filled the room. You weren’t even in the bedroom yet, but the need was too dire and you started yanking at the clothing between you both. Chanyeol groaned again as he kissed you, his grip loosening on you as you pulled at his tee. He balanced you with his thigh as he helped you get it off him and then smiled down at you, panting heavily. “Let me show you just how much I love you, Y/N.”

It was slower than you expected. Despite the hastiness of your approach, once Chanyeol laid you down on his bed, his actions slowed with the intention of bringing you to the utmost pleasurable state. And when you cried out his name as you climaxed, you knew that there would never be another man for you.

“Wow,” he breathed as he laid down beside you, his swollen lips growing wider as he stared at your naked form appreciatively. “You kept all of that away from me.”

“I could say the same to you,” you managed as you held onto your chest, waiting for your breathing and heartbeat to regulate again. You smirked. “Is that my only birthday present from you tonight?”

“Weren’t the flowers and dinner enough?” he asked, yet he moved closer to you again, kissing you slowly at first. It built up until you felt breathless and your hands were roaming over his skin with desire again. He groaned at your approach. “So needy.”

“All I’ve had really is just a small taste,” you said coyly, smiling up at your boyfriend who was staring at you intensely again. Chanyeol cursed softly.

“Well, you must be starved. We should do something about that, can’t have you hungry,” he murmured, moving down your body and trailing his mouth over your chest.

You received more presents than you ever thought would be possible from Chanyeol that night.

_________________

Part 7

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icecreamandknishes · 6 years

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The Naked Recipe

The Show-All Tell-All Approach to the Bare Truth Behind Recipes

Guest Blog by my brother David Waverman

I read a recipe to prepare beef teriyaki. It said approx. 20 minutes to prepare. And omitted cooking time. Based on the apparent ease of preparation time, I chose that one.

After preparing the dish - which took a couple of hours (plus 1 ½ hours cooking time) - I decided to jot down all the steps omitted from the recipe that are taken for granted. This also appears to be common on some cooking shows, where everything is miraculously in its washed, pared, diced and measured form, and not a dirty utensil in sight.

These are the conceivable steps that, with a little literary license, recipes and cooking shows tend to leave out:

1. Try to remember where you saw the recipe. Search for either the cook book or on-line recipe. If it was a cook book, then with your luck it is on the top shelf where you can’t reach it. Search for step stool. Shoo dog or cat out of the way.

2. Read recipe to see what ingredients you either have or need to buy. Make a mental note to clean out fridge and to better organize your pantry. (This took way too long.) Prepare shopping list. Once you find a pen that works.

3. Optional: check daily/weekly flyers to see if there are any deals this week.

4. Call your sister to ask her what the difference is between corn-flour and corn-starch. Google it when she tells you to leave her alone and try googling something for yourself for once in your life.

5. Check that the cooking sherry has not gone bad.

6. Go shopping and realize all ingredients are not available at a single store. This now counts as two trips.

7. Lug all the groceries into the kitchen. That’s because you gave up hollering at your teenage kids to help you bring in the groceries.

8. Lay out your cooking utensils, bowls and measuring implements. Curse when you realize your favourite cooking knives are still dirty and in the sink. Wash and dry them.

9. Now wash the vegetables that need washing and pare/peel the vegetables. Rinse canned vegetables such as the water chestnuts and bamboo shoots. Shake dry.

10. Slice the beef into desired sizes. That’s because you bought the cheaper version. Cover your cut with bandage.

11. Cut, slice and dice all vegetables. Bandage the other finger.

12. Measure all ingredients in quantities you will need. This is after the annoying task of working out metric and imperial differences, since the recipe is using imperial measurements and the labels on the food are in metric. Make mental note not to use American recipes in the future. To add to the headache, the recipe in some cases is using weights and some of the labels are displaying volumes.

13. Double check the cooking sherry is still good.

14. Slap your forehead as you just realized you forgot to buy one item.

15. Add oil to pan, turn on burner and then convince your spouse/partner to run out for the one ingredient you forgot, as you can’t leave the hot burner unattended.

16. Repour the ¼ cup cooking sherry into now empty measuring cup.Text your spouse/partner to drop by the liquor store for more cooking sherry.

17. Roll beef strips in the all-purpose flour, as you couldn’t figure out what the difference was between corn-starch and corn-flour.

19. Brown beef and then set aside.

20. Soak your hand in cold water after being splattered with hot oil.

21. Dry hands from washing to answer phone. Inform sales rep your air ducts don’t need cleaning and hang up.

22. …..and NOW you can begin your 20 minutes of prep time by adding ingredients to the sauté pan.

23. Your partner/spouse comes back. Measure and add ¼ cup of cooking sherry to sauté pan, after tasting that the new bottle is actually good. You don’t want to take chances this far into the game.

12. Prepare side dishes that the recipe or T.V. chef recommended but didn’t include in the estimated cooking time.

13. Measure another ¼ cup cooking sherry.

14. Simmer for 1 ½ hours. (Ooooh I see, now they tell you the cooking time)

15. Blink your eyes and the table is magically all set.

16. Blink them again and all the cooking utensils are magically washed, as are all surfaces. All ingredients have been returned to their storage places and food scraps put into composting bin, within same time span.

17. Spend five minutes eating meal. That’s because the small portions suggest your metric-imperial and weight/volume conversions were a bit off. Actually way off.

18. Throw away the disposable plates, cups and cutlery you were using.The best (and only) suggestion the recipe had for saving time.

19. Promise yourself to ride your bike to work one day to reduce your carbon footprint for using disposable plates, cups and cutlery.

20. Ignore the fact you don’t own a bike.

EPILOGUE

You wake up in the middle of the night starving because dinner was so small.

You decide to whip up a quick batch of your favourite snack…pancakes.

You find a great recipe for sherry pancakes. As it is the middle of the night, you don’t realize your bleary eyes misread the word “berry”.

Step 1: Check to see if the new bottle of sherry is still good.

Step 2: Follow recipe. It says it will only take 12 minutes to prepare.

As of blog posting time the original recipe used has not been located by guest blogger. (See Point 1)

Inspired by David’s post I have checked my cooking sherry and can verify it is still good.

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periperimommy79-blog · 6 years

Text

Don't give up

This is my first scribble - knowing me it'll be a novel sized scribble, apologies -, and it will be about my breastfeeding journey in the UK.

Nothing I write should be considered medical or professional advice, it is only my personal experience and loads - no, really, LOADS - of researching the internet (even translating Spanish, Italian, French and German articles - thanks Google). And of course my final conclusion on the matter. Which is: do not panic or stress, relax and it will fall into place. Emotions are more important than I believed before. Mind over matter? Sure. But heart and soul over mind. Always. So do not despair as it will hold you back.

My journey began in May 2013 when I've truly understood love, holding my baby girl for the first time❤. I was set on breastfeeding and never gave it a second thought. I believed it was the natural way, so formula feeding was a choice for those who did not WANT to breastfeed.

5 days after her arrival we were back in hospital as my little angel lost over 16% of her birthweight. When we talking of a 6.8 lb baby that is a lot.

She wasn't getting fed enough, probably was getting some as she managed to stay hydrated... just above the ouchy line, but not enough to sustain her weight.

So we were told to supplement after offering the breast. She needed to get stronger to be able to suck properly, as feeding on the breast takes a lot of energy, especially if the reward is near nothing.

I was devastated. It felt like I've failed my baby. I kept beating myself up for starving my child. Up till today when I look at her early pictures my heart goes out to that baby with so much pain and sadness in her tiny eyes. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for not pressing harder when my instinct told me something was wrong after 2 days. As a new mum I was not given credit by the seasoned professionals visiting us every day for 5 days when I said she sleeps too much, she doesn't eat only goes on for a few sucks then falls asleep. Her latch was checked and seemed good, so I was labelled a worrier. Until the day 5 weight check when our world collapsed.

Not for a moment did I want her to starve any longer but I also wanted her to get breast milk. So I've followed professional advice. Increased and increased then increaed the formula again and kept offering the breast before each feed. Also followed the set time for feeding, every 3 then 4 hours, and so on as she grew.

Tried expressing after feeds as well, but it was a disaster and disheartened me even further. The lack of milk when expressing made me accept that I am one of those women who just can't produce milk. It happens. It's not my fault. It's just how it is. I gave exclusive breast feeding my best shot and by offering the breast until she was 6 months old I did give her the "best of both worlds".

5 years down the line I can see where I went wrong. In November 2018 my little man arrived. He was a surprise: we were trying for nearly 5 years with no luck, then decided it isn't happening for us, sold all baby and toddler stuff. Was about to sell the nursery furniture when we found out about him 😊 everything else had to be bought again 🙈

What did I do different?

1. With my girl we had help, honest help, but untrained and unexperienced help from lovely people. If you want to breastfeed and it's not working, having professional help is important. Finding the right one is key. With our son we had picked up on the "not enough milk" on day 3. Again, started formula topups. We were upping it to 30ml each feed and he wa gaining well so we stopped the topups. Then weighed him 3 days after. He lost weight again. Back to formula. Gaining again, decrease formula. Baby lost weight again. Hospital as his weight is up and down. We know why but go in anyway. So luckily we went. And met 3 amazing and experienced feeding specialists.

Turns out if you look at an already latched baby feeding you will not be able to establish if the latch is good or not. You'll need a feed observed from start to finish to tell. He wasn't latching properly. So with help and instructions he was latching fine after 5 hours of trying. He fed with big gulps for 10 minutes on each breast then followed with lots of sucks and fewer swallows on each. We were in there for 2 days, BF, express, topup. I felt more sure of myself when we left and very greatful for "my 3 angels" and their knowledge.

2. Have support. With my girl I had the understanding and backing of our family - I was shaken of what happened and feeling an utter failure. But I was not pressing breastfeeding, scared of her losing weight again I accepted formula as the only way.

With my boy I decided I will not give up as I did with my girl. Unfortunately my partner and our family did not believe I can breastfeed and my partner was very agressivly against it - being told I'm selfish for trying to breastfeed, that I rather starve him than accept that I will never have milk and the best one: he'll call social services if I don't give up the idea of not giving him formula - not the support I needed.

His whole family gave me the cold stare for carrying on and even my own mother said just give him the bottle and spend the time gained with my daughter. Emotional pressure...hmmm, mother knows best. Good thing I'm now a mother too, so took the tiny gold out of this comment and spoke to my girly, explaining what and why is mommy doing what she's doing. I swear that little girl is more supportive than some of the adults close to me.

So I ignored all negativity, got courage from 3 of my friends and told my other half if he can't be supportive then at least keep his mouth shut and stay away from me as stress has serious negative effects on my supply. He stayed away and kept his mouth shut and I've carried on. It was hard times. To carry on and not give in. Even harder that the people I expected to back me had turned their back.

So surround yourself with people who raise your spirits, who will assure you and make you believe that you can do it. Ignore the nay sayers. It is your baby and body, as long as you're both safe you call the shots and do what feels right.

3. Research. Knowledge is power. Gather as much info, as many tips and methods as possible. Watch videos, read, go on forums and ask questions. Find groups. Shape all info so it fits the two of you.

With my daughter I just accepted what I was told by the professionals in the hospital and after we left it. I did not know of other moms who struggled but succeeded. I did not know there are ways to try to increase milk supply. I did not know I was breaking the demand and supply ring by increasing formula and not boobie time.

With my boy I was constantly reading, watching, getting in touch.

What worked for us? These:

1. Did not follow rules of timed feeding.

Yes, I've kept to the 3 hrs with him, but only that I didn't let him go longer than 3 hrs between feeds. Not even at night. Not until he was gaining weight well. If he wanted to eat 30 minutes after he came off the breast then I've put him back on.

Ever heard of supply and demand? SOOOO TRUE! When your baby is sucking for 3-5 hours non stop (cluster feeding)? Or eating for 1 hr then 40 minutes break and another hour session aaaand repeat? They just ordering their meals ahead. Telling your body they need more. Let them.

When we were topping up with over 30ml formula, I did it in smaller portions during his cluster feeding periods which were always evening meals - 60ml topup: 2x30ml or 3x20ml and put him back on the boob in between. It is time consuming, but works. Sometimes he refused the last portion cuz he was too tired/full. If it was only one meal, I let him skip that formula amount.

2. I started expressing only after his last feed before his big sleep each night. It saves time during the day and I can sleep more during the night. It is app. the same time each day, so my body is expecting it.

Now I can get 3x as much out as what I've staryed with. He drinks this still as a topup after his last meal of the day the next evening. Past few days he doesn't even drink it all and it makes me happy! They're hungrier in the evenings - getting filled up for longer time to sleep - and if he refuses his favourite meal with the easy access (he prefers breast milk over formula, but prefers the bottle to the breast as it is easier) must mean he had enough already 😀.

3. I had looked at pictures of how my breast is built up, where he needs to press to get the milk going.

I finally understood that I did have milk, even with my daughter - she kept sucking for 6 months and never took more than 90ml of formula, looking back I was such a fool not to realise that she wouldn't have gained weight as well as she did on 360ml of formula a day - they just could not get to it efficiently.

Once I worked out where his mouth needs to be on my aerola I looked for ways to put it in. It sounds funny, but my aerola is rather large and his cute mouth is so little, so he needed help to "stuff it in". Now he doesn't need it as he learnt to do it himself as well as his mouth is a bit bigger.

4. Made myself realise, understand and trust that I have enough milk for my baby and stop worrying over it.

I looked for proof and reminded myself every time I started to doubt myself again (maybe because a look from other half, or baba wanting to eat and eat - not because I did not have enough now but because he will need more soon so he is ordering) that I have milk. So when he was gaining on 420ml formula a day until he was 7 weeks old I convinced myself and reduced the amount to 360ml. Then 300ml. Always checked his gain. Now we're 180ml a day and reducing. And he is gaining.

It was hard not to increase formula as suggested by some people, but I knew he is safely gaining and worse case senario he will not gain enough, but he will not lose weight again, even if my supply decreases or can't keep up with his demand.

5. Stopped timing our feeds. I take note of the bottles still - will do until they're out of the picture -, but not of how long he is on each breasts. It is not important. I'll put him on when he asks. And because he is gaining he will ask when he is hungry because he has the energy to let me know. He will now not sleep if he's hungry no matter what I do. Dare to go shopping too long and the roof comes down!

This way feeding feels natural, not a must do thing which commands my day and full attention. I even enjoy it now, that I relax. No clocking in and out 😊 honestly? This is one of the best feelings other than seeing the numbers go up on the scale and down in the bottle.

Do not get me wrong. I have nothing against formula, we're lucky that is available. I do not judge anyone who chose to formula feed their LO. Mixed feeding has it's advantages as well. Not the way I am doing it now, but when you replace meals with a bottle to gain some time off boob duty.

But to me exclusive breastfeeding is the end game, so at mo formula is an unwanted must.

I will stop here for now, my eyelids are getting glued at each blink.

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