#toxic dad

[dollkisses05]

Girls with daddy issues are the best gfs btw

[staltheoneandonly]

i feel like there's a point being the oldest sibling where you stop being your parents' child and start being just some person who happens to live in the house

[dollsgaze]

if we forgive our fathers, what do we have left?

shameless // Desireé Dallagiacomo // Jamaica Kincaid // euphoria // jobless monday, mitski // Haddon Sandblom // ? // the end of the f world //Smoke Signals // Simone de Beauvoir, The Woman Destroyed

[chickennuggetslover143]

i just wanna move to a new city and start a new life

[my-castles-crumbling]

I haven’t cried about my own familial trauma in months but give me five minutes to think about Sirius and Regulus in that fucking house and I’m in TEARS.

[aphrodites-serenade]

Like Father, Like Daughter

When I look into the cracked mirror, I see the remnants of you. I hate how my nose is exactly like yours. I hope I can get it fixed one day. Your sister once said I had your eyes. You don't know how much I wished I could gouge them out. But you don't exist only on my face. I can feel it in my bones, and oh, they're too heavy for a girl. I hear it in my voice, and I speak as if I'm you. I run away from my problems, just like how you did years ago. Sometimes, I pretend they don't exist. You knew how to do that so well. Who was it that said that I was too loud? Did they not know it was the only way we communicated? Each time I stand in front of this mirror, I realize that I've become terribly lonely. My father never knew how to love, and I, who always messes up, know that too well. And I hate it, I truly hate it. I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I repeat. But like father, like daughter goes the proverb… right?

[maladaptivedaydream1ng]

do you actually not like reciving gifts or did you just grow up being told how expensive it was to raise you?

and now, anytime anyone spends any money on you,you fell guilty

[witchyykitten]

[twoheadedfather]

whoever invented holidays where it's expected for family to gather in one place for like 6 hours for dinner hates abused children i'm so mad rn

[kissesbeneaththescars]

🎉🎉 I WISH I WAS DEAD 🎉🎉

[nmolesofadrenaline]

[dollkisses05]

My dad has daughter issues

[emlynphoenix]

I mean-where’s the lie

[dollsgaze]

the father wound

succession // amanda grace // ? // ? // get gone by fiona apple // jasmine r. // succession // windowsill by arcade fire // ?

[hearhervoiceinmyhead]

Things about having a mentally ill parent/parents (especially with emotional abuse tied into it) that no one talks about

Feeling apathetic during their vents or breakdowns because you’ve been through feeling it with them, and it’s hell to do so over and over again

The feelings of guilt that you get for not being empathetic in the moment and the constant worry of them snapping or breaking down again

Learning how to manage their mental health and episodes and how to spot their warning signs to the point of hyper-vigilance

Growing annoyed during their vents because it’s always just the same thing over and over

Having your own mental health overlooked in favor of theirs, often becoming accustomed to hiding what you’re going through to avoid upsetting them or making things worse

The anxiety that comes with not knowing when mental episodes will be turned on you, and not knowing how to stop it because the wrong things to say and do change daily

Just the general instability of not knowing what to expect day to day

Being told they can’t handle your problems right now, but being called selfish if you ever say the same

Not being able to bring up the flaws in their parenting without triggering a mental episode, leaving you feeling like nothing will ever get better

Constantly making excuses for their abusive or toxic behaviors, like blaming it on their past or mental health

This one is specific to older siblings, but worrying about leaving and forcing your younger sibling(s) to now bear the brunt of it, when it’s not their fault this is happening

Their voice and presence slowly losing any and all comfort to you, but still desperately clinging to it

Questioning if you should ever have kids yourself because you know you’re also mentally ill and you don’t want to subject another human life to the experiences you went through

[my-castles-crumbling]

Today my therapist told me that my parents really fucked me up so...HAPPY MONDAY!