#tried watching the DCEU to see if it was as bad as I remember from my pre-comics-reading days and kept getting distracted

[seethestarsalittlecloser]

Seriously tho what is it with DC live action making all the costumes look fucking stupid

[storiesforallfandoms]

his domination ~ the joker;dceu

word count: 1660

request?: yes!

“Can you write a Joker/Reader fic where the reader is the only person allowed to dominate the Joker? Very smutty please.”

description: in which gotham’s most feared villain prefers to be dominated by his beautiful girlfriend

pairing: joker x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of violence

masterlist (one, two)

it wasn’t specified which joker was wanted for the imagine so i wrote the one i knew best...but like...the good version of it

There was something about watching Joker being so dominant with others that turned you on, especially knowing that the roles would be reversed when you two finally got some privacy.

There was some sad sack down on his knees, begging Joker for forgiveness. For what reason, you couldn’t remember. There were too many people who were afraid of him to keep track of all the reasons why. Whatever the case, Joker was merely laughing in this face of this man, who was now weeping at Joker’s feet.

“Oh, how I love to hear them beg,” Joker said to you over his shoulder.

You smirked at him in response as he raised his gun and shot the man right between the eyes. He watched as the man’s body fell before turning back to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. He began kissing you deeply, ignoring the two of his men that were standing nearby, waiting for an order. If there was one thing that turned Joker on, it was exercising the power he had over the people of Gotham.

When he finally pulled away from you, he regarded his men with a simple wave of his hand towards the lifeless body in front of them. His men began to approach the body while Joker took you in his arms and began to lead you towards his car. He didn’t even wait to take you somewhere more private as he opened the backdoor to his car and shoved you back onto the seat. His men were quick to dispose of the body so they could leave the scene, knowing to give Joker as space when he wanted alone time with you.

The cramped space of the backseat gave Joker more opportunity to be close to you, to touch your body all over and to attack your neck in kisses and bites. Your eyes were rolling back in your head with pleasure as you arched your back against his body.

You peaked out through the front windshield to see that Joker’s henchmen had cleared away the body and drove off in record time, leaving the two of you alone. In one swift movement, you wrapped your legs around Joker and flipped the two of you over so you were on top. You started to mimic his earlier actions by kissing down his neck, your hands roughly pulling at his clothes so you could continue to kiss down his naked body.

Joker’s big secret that stayed strictly between the two of you was that he only allowed one person to be dominant over him, and that person was you. It had shocked you at first when Joker let you be the dominant one in the bedroom. You thought it was just a one time thing, or maybe he was feeling generous. But then he was asking for it the next time you had sex, then he started using dominant pet names for you and would beg you to let him be inside of you.

It made you feel powerful to be the one that left Gotham’s most feared villain a begging mess beneath you.

You pulled his shirt off and began unbuttoning his pants, palming his growing erection in your hand as you kissed him through his boxers. His hand weaved its way through your hair as you began to kiss him through his boxers, just lightly enough that he could feel it and tease him even more.

“Up,” you told him as your hands found their way to the waistline of his boxers. He moved his hips so you could slip his underwear down and discarded them to the front seat somewhere.

Joker whimpered as you began to kitten lick the tip of his hard dick. It was taking everything in his power not to push your head down, as he knew you would stop if he tried, but he wanted you so bad. He was so painfully erect he felt like he could burst at any moment, even from your limited touch.

You could feel his restraint as his hand tightened in your hair. You couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you looked up at him from your position. “What do you want, baby?”

“I want to feel your mouth around me,” he breathed, his hips inadvertently bucking as you licked him again.

“Ask me nicely then, baby.”

“Please can you put my dick in your mouth?”

You rested his tip against your lips, kissing it to tease him even more. “You’re missing something there.”

“Pretty please, my queen?”

You smiled and took him deep into your throat. He let out a moan as his head lulled back. You began to bob your head at a steady pace, placing your tongue under his length as you did so so that he could feel it on every inch that it could reach. Every now and then you’d stop to swirl your tongue around the head, which earned you more moans and whimpers.

Although the pleasure was starting to build up inside of him, Joker knew better than to finish in your mouth. He knew how much you loved to feel him inside of you, to feel him coating your walls with his seed as he twitched and convulsed inside of you. But your mouth felt so good around him that it was getting hard to hold back.

“Fuck my queen, please slow down,” he begged. “I’m going to cum at this rate.”

You pulled his dick from your mouth, a line of spit trailing from the tip to your mouth as you did so. He wiped it with his thumb before you began to crawl up his body, leaving wet kisses and red marks that would become hickies within a few hours up his body. You kissed him passionately, letting him taste himself on your tongue.

“Do you want me to ride you, baby?” you asked against his lips. “You wanna feel me wrapped around that hard dick as I ride you?”

He nodded, trying to find the words to ask but feeling them caught in his throat. You smirked as you took hold of his face, squeezing it just a little.

“Use your words.”

“Yes, my queen. I want you to ride me.”

“Ask me nicely then.”

“Fuck, can you pretty pretty please ride me, my queen?. Use me to get whatever pleasure you want, I promise I’ll wait till you’re finished if I have to.”

You smirked at his question. His dick was still glistening with your spit, leaving it perfectly lubed for you as you lined his tip up with your entrance and lowered yourself on to him. His face twisted with pleasure as you took him in very slowly, allowing him to feel you around every inch of him. You moaned as well, feeling him easily hitting your G spot once he was fully in.

You started rocking your hips against his, pleasure building up in you almost immediately. Joker’s head was back against the headrest as his fingers dug into your hips. You leaned forward to kiss him as your movements became quicker. Soon enough, you were bouncing on his lap, your skin making a loud slapping noise every time you came down on him. His car was shaking and the windows were fogged over so you could barley see anyone outside. Not that either of you really cared if you were caught. That was the thrill of fucking in public.

You wrapped a hand around Joker’s throat, choking him just enough to make him feel lightheaded. You almost giggled at the sight of his eyes being crossed and rolling back into his head at the action. You could feel him twitching inside of you, an indication that he was nearing his climax.

“Are you close?” you asked him, letting go of his neck long enough to allow him to breathe to respond.

“I’m so close,” he said. “Fuck, can I cum my queen?”

“Hold it for a few more seconds,” you told him. “I’m close, too. When you feel me cumming around you, you can let go then.”

You managed to stay true to your word, and a few seconds later you threw your head back and cried out in pleasure. Near moments after that, you felt Joker’s warmth filling you as he also groaned at the release.

You both sat there, sweating and panting. Joker wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close so he could rest his head on your breasts. You ran your fingers through his dyed green hair, noticing that his brown roots were starting to grow out. You made a mental note to point that out to him when you finally detached from one another.

You rolled down the window slightly to let some cool air in just as Joker’s phone rang. He groaned in annoyance as he raised the phone to his ear.

“What the fuck do you want?”

You giggled as you finally got up from his lap. It always amazed you how quickly he could switch from being a submissive mess to the dominant criminal that everyone knew him as.

“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll call you when we arrive to our next location,” he said, then hung up. “Apparently someone heard the gunshot and called the cops. They’re on their way here now. Figure we got maybe five minutes before we’re surrounded, less than that until the Bat appears.”

You passed him his discarded clothes and fixed your own disheveled appearance. “Neither one is a real concern. The cops are incompetent and Bats would never throw you in jail again. He needs someone to play with so he seems like a hero to these people.”

Joker smiled at you and kissed you hard again. “Regardless, wanna go for a joyride, baby?”

You smirked at him and leaned into the front seat to pull your gun from the glove compartment. “Always, my love.”

[agentem]

Emily Watched “Wonder Woman 1984”

My sister figured out how to hijack my parents’ TV so I could see WW84, because I don’t have HBO.

I had read some really negative reviews about it not making sense and the CGI being bad and generally it being subpar.

I thought it was middling—which is actually pretty good for a DCEU movie? There were some very beautiful emotional beats, especially with Steve and Diana. There were some cool fight scenes.

The CGI is not great. It was not great in the first one either, which I feel like people gave more of a pass to. It always makes me wonder if Warners gives Patty Jenkins less money than the male directors get (or male heroes?) I still haven’t figured this out, if anyone knows. Or maybe the brightness of Wonder Woman’s world isn’t conducive to CGI. Like the Snyder films are so dark and gray that you don’t notice the detail as much?

I was confused about the powers that the stone gave Maxwell Lord, but I thought Pedro Pascal was great. It seemed in the early wishes that you just made a wish and it took something from you without your knowledge. But then when he became the stone he always told people what he was taking, which gave away the reveal that Diana was getting weaker and Barbara was losing her humanity. I also didn’t understand why he could randomly command people? Without a wish?

I also thought Diana had said when she talked to the “Mayan” man (aside: that was another thing that bugged me. I actually know very little of Mexican history but the Mayans and other indigenous people of Mexico were not destroyed the way the Aztecs were, and even they weren’t completely wiped out like many tribes in the US were. People still speak Mayan. There was a collapse of the “classical” period which is what I assume they were talking of. But saying civilizations were destroyed by this stone and giving the Maya and Romulus, founder of Rome—which didn’t exactly flounder after he died—as examples seemed counterintuitive. Both of those cultures survived) that the wishes AND the stone had to be destroyed. So when Max Lord made himself the stone... didn’t he have to die? As one thing I KNOW about Maxwell Lord in the comics is that Diana snapped his neck which I didn’t want to see happen to Pedro.

Or if he renounced his wish with everyone else because of the adorable boy, then shouldn’t the stone have returned and Diana have to have destroyed it somehow?

I really wanted an aftermath scene that wasn’t MONTHS later and actually explained things. There were a lot of gaps.

Like how was this event spoken of? Mass hysteria? What did that guy who became Steve remember of the time he STRAIGHT LEFT HIS BODY? Does Barbara still work with Diana? Are they friends again? Was Diana actually on the TV broadcast somehow? Because it seemed people could at least hear her (just whispering) to camera about her pain at letting Steve go and telling people to renounce their wishes.

And if she was on camera, shouldn’t Batman have A LOT of evidence that she existed? Not just that one photo from WW1? The world’s greatest detective, everyone.

But iDK. I love Wonder Woman. Every time she saved a tiny girl child it made me happy. Steve and Diana are still adorable, even if “hilarious” scenes of him riding an escalator don’t further the audience’s sense of impending peril. I also don’t think he could fly a jet because the last plane he flew was a WW1 fighter that killed him. But it was cute that he tried?

I love seeing my Amazons even if it’s just for a bit and the only ones that really came back from the first movie were Polly, Robin Wright and the one played by a literal supermodel instead of the athletes and stunt women who were my faves in the previous film.

Not bad but I guess I just need a lot of fanfic now.

[charliejrogers]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

[nerdybirdboy]

Tim’s Verses & AUs

In alphabetical order, because I can. Some has links to posts with further info in the title 🔗. All established verse/aus have had at least two different threads.

(For shy people wanting a starter in a specific verse or au, see this post.)

MAIN Tim’s  main verse is set after his dad’s death, but before Bruce’s “death”. This is also when Damian is introduced to the family. Tim is still Robin here and live in the Manor. Age: 16-17. Ver. 2a: Set after Bruce’s “death” and Tim becoming Red Robin. He lives in his own apartment and his relationship with his siblings (and Alfred) is... complicated. Age: 17-19. Ver. 2b: Set in his early Robin years and up to his dad’s death. Most of the time, he still live with his dad here. Age: 13-16.

19TH CENTURY 🔗 Tim is born into a rich family, but after some bad investments, his father end up losing it all. Jack is later murdered by an investor in his company and Janet is left to take care of herself and Tim on her own, which is not an easy thing. When Tim is six, his mum dies of tuberculosis and he’s left to fend for himself. Ver. 2: Set in any other time period up to mid 1940′s.

ADULT 🔗 Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, 25, CEO of Drake Industries, millionaire, philanthropist and vigilante. No, he has not become Batman. He just grew up and re-claimed his father’s company’s name and then took the market with storm. He’s a very busy man. Ver. 2: Instead of reviving DI, Tim becomes a forensic computer analyst, but he’s still Red Robin as well. Yes, he is fully aware that both his jobs clashes a little, but they are both about making the city safer.

AMNESIA 🔗 Partly inspired by events in Rebirth/N52. There’s an explosion and Tim is presumed dead. In reality he survived, the thing is, he has lost all his memories and can’t even remember his name and has now spent many months on the streets of Gotham. Age varies.

ARROWVERSE: EARTH PRIME 🔗 This verse is still under construction. Link goes to my first research post. In general, Tim was the last Robin to Batman before Bruce left Gotham. Tim was then sent to boarding school and has no idea where Bruce is, but he doesn’t really care because Bruce just handed him away and fled. He has contact with Alfred, who now lives in London. (As well as Dick, and sometimes Jason, if they exist) Age: 15

BLOODY ROBIN 🔗 Post battle of the cowl. After all that went down, Tim snaps. He’s not losing it completely, but he has just had enough, especially when Dick gives away his last anchor and then doesn’t even listen to him when he says Bruce is alive. Maybe Jason was right all along and you need to be a bit rougher with the bad guys? [Disclaimer: no, he doesn’t become Jason, but he does become rougher and more morally grey.] Age: 17

BTAS 🔗 Yes, you should read this even if you’ve watched the show because my verse differs. Here he was born into wealth that his family later lost due to his father’s bad business choices. This lands him in prison, leaving Tim and his mother alone. Janet later just disappears and things just goes downhill from there. Age varies.

DCEU 🔗 After being saved by Batman and Robin at the age of six, Tim develops an obsession with the duo and eventually starts following their nightly activities in real time, but he never approaches them. When his parents get kidnapped and the police won’t believe him, Tim turns to Bruce, showing that he knows he’s Batman and asks for his help. Unfortunately, Batman is too late. Bruce then adopts Tim who eventually becomes the third Robin. Age: 14-15.

FLASHPOINT TIMELINE 🔗 With no Bruce Wayne as Batman and Tim therefore not being Robin, there was no one who came to the Drake’s rescue and Tim became an orphan at the age of thirteen. Shortly before that, Tim himself had been in an accident. Having tried to help a young woman getting assaulted, he got beaten and shot. This resulted in removal of his spleen as well as injuries to his spinal cord, leaving him paraplegic. Obviously all this took its toll on Tim, but he didn’t give up, even if he felt like doing so and continues to struggle with depression regularly. Otherwise, he might appear like a fairly normal teen, but in his spare time, he is a ‘vigilante hacker’, making sure that certain hidden information about creeps get thrown out in the light. Tim’s plans for the future is to apply to become an emancipated adult when he turns seventeen, which then will allow him to reach his inheritance from his parents, a sum that will allow him to live well for the rest of his life. Age varies.

POST-JOKER JR. 🔗 Broken mentally and with permanent damage to his heart and memory, Tim is trying really hard to not just give up. It doesn’t help that people seem to look for a teen that doesn’t exist anymore and never will exist again. Age: 16-17

MARVEL 🔗 Tim adapted to the Marvel universe. Inspired by both Captain America and Iron Man, young Tim trains himself, with the help of private teachers, to become one of the masked heroes of the world. Since his parents are rarely home, no one is protesting, as long as he does his educational tasks. Unfortunately for Tim, his debute as a vigilante comes earlier than he anticipated when his parents get kidnapped and no one are there to help them but him. Age varies.

MERFOLK 🔗 Tim as a merman. He’s very curious about humans and often get close to land to observe them, despite the danger. Born into an ‘elite’ family among the merfolk, his behaviour isn’t looked upon favourably. Thankfully, since he is still too young to get a mate he can get away with his odd curiosity for now. Age varies.

METAHUMAN 🔗 During one of Tim’s traumatic experiences, he walks away literally as a new person, except he doesn’t know it right then. Due to the emotional and physical duress of the event (there’s three possible events), Tim’s metagene is activated and he gains an ability called Electronic Communication aka Technopathy. Age varies.

‘NANNY’ WAYNE 🔗 Since the Drakes belong to the Gotham elite and also were big industry owners, they must have known Bruce Wayne and most likely met him on several occasions. Basically, this verse is where Tim gets to stay at Wayne Manor instead of with nannies and boarding school when his parents are away on business trips and vacations. Though it all started with Tim having nightmare about the deaths of Dick’s parents, since was there when it happened. Although Dick tend to be the Robin in this verse, it works just as well with Jason being Robin (when I started this verse, I didn’t have any Jasons). Age: 3-8 Alt.: The Drakes lives in the mansion next to Wayne Manor and little Tim (this can be before or after Dick is taken in) likes to wander over to his neighbours, especially when his parents are away (which they usually are). So basically, it’s just a small curious Tim wanting a bit of company.

PRE-ROBIN Well, exactly what it says, threads taking place before Tim becomes Robin. Before we see him in the comics. So basically the time between Dick becoming Robin to Jason’s death. Age: 3-13

PRINCE OF GOTHAM The Kingdom of Gotham is a small kingdom in a mountainous region, with one city (bearing the same name as the kingdom) located by the small strip of coast the kingdom possess. Normally, such a small kingdom would be poor, but the mountains are filled with riches and the kingdom is also known fro it’s scholars, especially within science/alchemy. Tim is the son of a dead Earl and now one of King Bruce’s adopted children. This verse has three versions: fantasy, medieval inspired and victorian/steampunk inspired. Age: 13-16.

TALON 🔗 The Drakes belonged to the Court of Owls and after Jack and Janet’s death, Tim was ‘trained’ to become a Talon. Age varies.

TITANS 🔗 (tv series) Verse adapted to the tv series. I have seen season 2 now though. Tim’s parents disappear, but no one believes him when he tries to tell something is wrong. Yes, they are on a business trip, but his mum usually call or at least text each night, but lately, she hasn’t. The police does nothing, he can’t get a hold of Bruce (which he knows is Batman), so his only option is to find Dick and with that the small gang of people he’s collecting. [I know Tim Drake is now in the show, but I will not change my already established verse and I’m also not watching S3.] Age: 13-14

WORLD RENOWNED HACKER 🔗 Tim Drake is the world renowned hacker known as Mr_Sarcastic. After his parents’ death, he has made it his life’s goal to bring corrupt people, including politicians and businesses, to justice by making their dirt visible to the general population (which also includes the cops). This generally takes place in a more cyberpunk-ish verse. Age varies.

YOUNG JUSTICE Based on the Young Justice cartoon. I’ve seen S1-3. Though, my Tim will mostly be like I usually portray him it’s only the verse that changes (comics -> cartoon). Otherwise the main changes are: no crush on Superboy (which generally is verse dependent anyway) and he has a puppy love thing for Dick (nothing romantic though, more like extreme admiration and very strong platonic love). Age varies.

[the-desolated-quill]

Sonic Vs Harley: Send In The Hedgehogs - Quill’s Scribbles

Unless you’ve been meditating in the desert for the past couple of weeks, you’ll know that there’s a bloody epidemic going on in the world right now. The coronavirus outbreak has dramatically changed our very way of life for the foreseeable future, and us plebs have been having to get used to all these alien concepts such as social distancing, self isolation, vaccines being good and Gal Gadot murdering John Lennon with a tuneless rendition of ‘Imagine.’ These are scary and uncertain times we live in, and this goes double for the movie industry as productions are halted and/or delayed, and cinemas around the globe are shutting shop. This means that streaming services, initially dismissed by pompous filmmakers like Steven Spielberg as being lesser than cinema, has now become Hollywood’s saving grace. Oh the irony!

But I’m not here to talk about that. Today I’m here to talk about how a blue CGI hedgehog seems to be more profitable than Margot Robbie.

Jokes aside, this is actually a fascinating topic of discussion in my opinion. Both Sonic The Hedgehog and Birds Of Prey (I categorically refuse to type the whole title because I’ve got better shit to be doing other than trying to remember how the fuck you spell ‘fantabulous’) were released within a week of each other just as the coronavirus outbreak was gathering steam, and yet the box office earnings of both films are poles apart. Sonic has now become the highest grossing video game movie of all time and is, at the time I’m typing this, the second highest grossing film of the year, beating even Disney Pixar’s new film Onward if you can believe it, whereas Birds Of Prey... well... it’s not exactly flopped as such. The film’s low budget protected it from that, but it’s hardly what you’d call a success, making just shy of the $200 million it would need to break even. How did this happen? Especially when you consider that public opinion of both films a year ago would have you believe that the opposite would have happened. Everyone was massively excited for Birds Of Prey, especially after the string of successes DC have had with Aquaman, Shazam and most recently Joker, whereas Sonic...

...yeah, lets not talk about that.

Now before we start, let me just make absolutely clear that this is just my opinion. Mu subjective opinion. Normally I’d expect my readers to be smart enough to know this, but I’m talking about a DC movie here and I know from personal experience how ‘passionate’ a certain tin foil hat wearing portion of that fanbase can be sometimes. You may recall back in 2016 I received rape and death threats when I had the gall to say that I didn’t enjoy watching Suicide Squad. You know? That beloved classic that nobody fucking remembers or talks about anymore? Also there was that time when Harley Quinn fans started spreading fake rumours that the Sonic movie was homophobic in the hopes of salvaging Birds Of Prey’s box office earnings. And yes, I know it’s not all DCEU fans that are like this, etc. etc., but considering that it only ever seems to be DC fans that pull shit like this, you’ll forgive me if I’m not exactly in a very generous mood right now. Basically, if you’ve seen Birds Of Prey and liked it, that’s great. More power to you. I’m not even suggesting that Birds Of Prey is a bad movie. I’m just exploring the reasons why I think the film may have underperformed and why, possibly, Sonic The Hedgehog overtook them despite outside circumstances. This is not fact. This is just my opinion. It’s my opinion. An opinion. A subjective opinion. It’s my opinion. Okay? Okay.

Also I should point out that out of the two films, I’ve only seen Sonic, not Birds Of Prey. Believe it or not, this will be relevant later on. Again, this is not about the quality of either film. This is merely my subjective observations regarding their respective marketing and box office performance.

So why, according to the fans and the media, did Birds Of Prey underperform at the box office? There are three popular reasons for this. The first is obviously the coronavirus. Less people willing to leave the house and buy a ticket, therefore less box office earnings. Makes sense, but I don’t think that’s the whole story. Lets not forget, Sonic The Hedgehog came out a week after Birds Of Prey and practically steamrolled over the competition despite coronavirus fears. So I’m not entirely convinced of this. The second reason is that Birds Of Prey only has niche appeal because it’s based on a lesser known comic book property. Again, makes sense, but so was Guardians Of The Galaxy and Deadpool, and they were both hugely successful. Obviously I’m not saying Birds Of Prey needed to be as big as those movies. Even if it just made the same amount of money as Shazam did, it would have been successful, but it didn’t. The third reason is good old fashioned sexism, and yes, I agree that may have been a contributing factor, but I think it’s naive to place all the blame on the anti-SJWs who feel threatened by a gang of women kicking butt. Look at the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters for example. That film received a tirade of misogynistic comments from butthurt fanboys, but it still made roughly the same amount of money at the box office as the original Ghostbusters did. The reason it flopped wasn’t because of the fanboys, but because of Sony spending a stupid amount of money on the thing in the hopes of jumpstarting a shared universe. If Ghostbusters 2016 had the same budget as Birds Of Prey, Sony would be laughing their way to the bank right now.

No I think there’s a little bit more going on here. Lets bring Sonic into the discussion and explore it, shall we?

The most blatantly obvious reason for Sonic’s success and Birds Of Prey’s relative failure is the age rating. Sonic is a PG, family friendly film with a cuddly animal as its main character. The film even stars Jim Carrey being his usual goofy self. Kids love this shit and parents will no doubt be prepared to risk a zombie apocalypse to let their kids see it. Birds Of Prey, on the other hand, is a hard R. Strong bloody violence, sexual references, everyone says ‘fuck’ a lot. No kids allowed. Of course that hasn’t stopped films like Deadpool or Joker being such giant hits, but they didn’t have to contend with a global pandemic. Plus, according to what I’ve heard from certain critics, apparently Birds Of Prey’s R rating doesn’t seem wholly justified. That if you were to cut back on the swearing and the gore, it would make no difference to the film. Now you see this is something I’ve been afraid would happen ever since Deadpool’s surprise success back in 2016. That studios and filmmakers would take the wrong lessons from it and make their films R rated just for the sake of making them R rated. We see this with movie studios all the time. One studio finds success and suddenly everyone tries to copy it without considering why it was successful in the first place. The reason Deadpool as well as other R rated films like Logan and Joker worked is because the films justified their R ratings. You couldn’t have told the same story without that R rating. An R rated Harley Quinn doesn’t seem necessary, especially when you consider that there have been Harley Quinn adaptations before that did just as well without being strictly for adults. Hell, the original Harley Quinn story from the Batman animated series was PG rated. So the inclusion of a R rating feels less like a genuine artistic choice and more like trend chasing. And now that Joker has become the most profitable comic book movie ever made, I fear this is only going to get worse in the future.

Another factor that needs to be considered is audiences’ trust and expectation. Sonic The Hedgehog’s journey to the big screen has in some ways become the classic redemption story. After the initial reveal of Sonic the Manhog, fans were understandably pissed off that a beloved video game icon was given such a grotesque re-imagining for the sake of ‘realism’ (snort). As a result of the backlash, the director Jeff Fowler announced they would revise the design and the film was postponed for three months in order to fix it. The result was a Sonic design much closer to the games and this generated a lot of goodwill from the fans. Subsequent trailers were much better received and there was a lot more positive buzz around the movie. Birds Of Prey on the other hand demonstrated the inverse of this. Everyone was hugely excited, but as we got closer and closer to the date of release, audience anticipation began to wane. The trailers received little fanfare. In fact a lot of people were largely unimpressed by it. Why?

Well first we should address the elephant in the room. The fact of the matter is Sonic has a bigger and much more passionate fanbase than Harley does. That’s not to say Harley isn’t a popular character. She is. But I think Warner Bros and DC seriously overestimated how much people wanted to see Harley Quinn get her own movie. She may have been the best thing about Suicide Squad, but considering what a total trainwreck Suicide Squad was, that’s hardly saying much, is it? I mean the villain Sandman was the best thing about Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3. That doesn’t mean I want a whole movie based on him. It just means out of all the things I hated about Spider-Man 3, Sandman was the thing I hated least.

And that’s another thing. The fact that Birds Of Prey didn’t try to distance themselves from Suicide Squad I don’t think did them any favours. While Suicide Squad was a commercial success at the time, people haven’t exactly been kind to the film in subsequent years. I mean feel free to read my review of Suicide Squad for an exhaustive list of reasons why the film was less than enjoyable to sit through. One dimensional characters, poor editing, ugly colour palette, casual sexism, David Ayer trying desperately to look cool and edgy, I could go on. So when the first trailers for Birds Of Prey came out and we saw the neon colour scheme and Hot Topic wardrobes make a comeback, I can’t have been the only one who was slightly put off.

Which leads me to the biggest issue of all and that’s the stonking unoriginality of the whole thing. For all their boasting about how feminist and progressive they are, what is it about Birds Of Prey that makes it stand out from other comic book films? Granted Sonic wasn’t wholly original either, but at least they had the novelty of a blue CGI hedgehog to piggyback off of. Birds Of Prey really doesn’t have anything if you think about it. Here’s the impression I got from the trailers. It has the same aesthetics as Suicide Squad, so already I’m getting PTS style flashbacks, and its story doesn’t seem all that intriguing or unique. Think about it. A violent anti-hero has to protect a delinquent child from some sadistic big baddie. How many times have we seen that done in these films? Terminator 2, Deadpool 2, Logan, even Ghost Rider has told this story before. The fact that the characters in question happen to be women doesn’t change a damn thing. They even have Harley Quinn breaking the fourth wall. Like... guys, come on! Surely we can do something more original than this! It feels like the only thing Birds Of Prey has going for it is that its main protagonists are all women. But after the likes of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel, that’s no longer a real selling point anymore. You need something else to entice people. Something that Birds Of Prey sorely lacks.

Now I’m sure any Birds Of Prey fans reading this must be getting pissed off at me, so I’d just like to remind everyone yet again that I’m not necessarily saying Birds Of Prey is a bad film. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen it. And that’s kind of my point. A week or so ago, my friend and I knew this was probably going to be our last opportunity to go to the cinema for quite some time, so we knew we had to make our choice of film count. We had a choice between Sonic The Hedgehog and Birds Of Prey, and we ended up going to see Sonic. We don’t regret it. We had a good time watching Sonic. It was a fun movie, well made and surprisingly moving at points. (interesting to note, Sonic also has the main protagonist protecting a child plot, but unlike the films I mentioned, Sonic’s story is told from the perspective of the kid. It’s a little thing, but it’s enough to make the whole thing feel fresh and unique because it’s something not even the games tend to acknowledge. Sonic is a kid and the film plays around with that, which adds to its overall charm). Maybe Birds Of Prey is a better movie than Sonic. I don’t know. But that’s not what this is about. When picking which film we would watch, it was the factors I mentioned before that we considered and I suspect what many other people took into consideration too. Basically we looked at these two films and thought to ourselves which one would we be prepared to go outside and risk our health for in order to see it in a cinema. In the end, Sonic won because, out of the two films, it looked more exciting and more unique than Birds Of Prey, and ultimately we trusted that this film could deliver what it promised. Is that fair? Probably not, but sadly that’s often how these things play out. 

Birds Of Prey may have had a good critical reception, but it ultimately shot itself in the foot thanks to some of its creative and marketing decisions. And if studios take anything away from all this, it should be that relying solely on the gender of the main characters as a means to sell something just doesn’t cut it anymore.

[armageddon-generation]

Starting the DCEU right: fixing BvS and its lead-up

BvS is really frustrating, so I rewrote it, re-ordered the existing movies and inserted in a Batman movie

1. Wonder Woman

Start the DCEU off with  a ‘bold’ statement with the first female led superhero movie, and the first chronologically.

2. Man of Steel

Bright colours, bloody hell

Cut the heavy-handed Jesus/Messiah symbolism. Superman was created by Jews anyway, Christiansing him feels disrespectful

Put it in chronological order starting in Smallville, so we’re invested in Clark’s struggle

Pa Kent doesn’t die in a tornado, that scene is ridiculous

Move the Krypton sequence in the beginning to when Jor El is explaining Clark’s origin to him in the Arctic ship, so we maintain the mystery and don’t repeat ourselves

Focus on Clark trying to live a normal life – his relationship with Lois, becoming a reporter, while he fights regular crime in secret (the Smallville blur trope)

Zodd attacking disrupts that peace and forces Superman to go public for the first time

Thematically, classic ‘regular guy doing the right thing’ Richard Donner Superman is fighting off the ‘detached alien Messiah figure’ Zack Snyder Superman Zodd wants him to become

Metropolis’ destruction and Clark being forced to kill Zodd still happens, but show Clark trying to avoid populated areas and save bystanders instead of fight, Zodd just won’t let him.

3. Batman: Under the Red Hood

Under the Red Hood (UtRH) with a depressed robin-less Batman

Follow basic outline of UtRH animated movie (75 mins) in a 2-hour movie, incorporating elements of The Killing Joke

UtRH is a mystery that lets us focus on Batman’s detective side

Talia resurrected Jason as an apology to Bruce – allude to Damian’s existence when we visit the League of Assassins and establish their past romance

UtRH is the perfect story to introduce the batfamily - Bruce still isn’t talking to Dick after kicking him out to become Nightwing, the Red Hood pushes them to work together, but uncovering Jason’s identity fractures their relationship further (fight?)

Killing Joke happened recently and Barbra is still recovering. Show the events leading up to and after it in PTSD flashbacks, but framed through Barbra’s empowering story of recovery, not the traumatic incident itself. Maybe introduce Leslie Thompkins as her therapist.

Bruce is also estranged from Commissioner Gordon as a result of Killing Joke. When Jason finds out the Joker paralysed Barbra after he died and Bruce still let him live, he’s even angrier

This story is the perfect set-up for the DCEU’s (recast) Joker; he’s a secondary villain to Jason, but by mixing both UtRH and Killing Joke, his two most famous/heinous crimes, he immediately becomes a terrifying bogeyman with an established relationship with Batman

Stealth set-up for Birds of Prey (Oracle), Nightwing, and Red Hood and the Outlaws movies

By the end of the movie both Jason  and Joker escape and Bruce is left isolated and questioning his no-kill code after Jason’s arguments, Joker escaping yet again, and all his recent trauma, setting up his emotional state for BvS

The only ones to stay by his side are Alfred and Lucius Fox

4. Batman vs Superman

Clark is our protagonist, Bruce the sympathetic villain who’s redeemed by the end

After killing Zodd in MoS, Clark is determined not to kill – CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT through an opening action sequence

He and Lois are newlyweds 

Clark wants to be trusted, and that means conforming to government control (like in The Dark Knight Returns, except this time it’s sympathetic) – his moral dilemma is whether them controlling Superman is a good thing

Clark hates Batman because Bruce is becoming more and more recklessly violent (The Dark Knight Returns) since UtRH and The Killing Joke and his support structure collapsing. Clark reports on how the Bat-Brand is causing criminal deaths (which is now a big No-No for Supes, without him being  a hypocrite) - cut the unimportant conflict with Perry White

During the Metropolis attack Bruce loses someone. I don’t like killing a black character, but it makes the most sense that Lucius Fox would be in the Wayne Tech building and die. The audience has a history with the character – not only was he in UtRH, but also the Dark Knight Trilogy.

Alfred loses a leg, as in the Earth One graphic novels – that gruffer version of the character is similar to Jeremy Irons’ portrayal anyway

Bruce now has legitimate reasons to fear Clark, and he has no support network left.

Wayne Industries is funding the rebuilding of Metropolis, in collaboration with Lexcorp (like in the No Man’s Land comic event). Lex (recast) is presented as an ally to Bruce, sympathising with and stoking the flames of his Superman hatred

Insert the Diana subplot in here – BUT DON’T SPOIL HER BEING IN THE MOVIE IN THE TRAILERS. Bruce catches her snooping around at one of Lex’s fundraisers for rebuilding Metropolis. 

Lex doesn’t just have her photo – in the hundred years since Wonder Woman, Diana has become a protector of mythological beings (Nick Fury for the Gods). Instead of the email attachment of Justice League teaser trailers, Lex has stolen information from Diana that reveals the locations of Themascyra and Atlantis, the sister cities.

Bruce and Diana can have a philosophical discussion about new gods outmoding old gods without it being out of place – Diana is unsure of her place in this changing world

Lex is also planning to run for President – he encourages Bruce’s anti-authoritarian sentiment. The GCPD have started a manhunt for the more brutal Batman. Legitimise this sentiment further by having Clark’s main contact to the Government be morally corrupt Amanda Waller (replacing Holly Hunter’s Senator) who wants to use Clark in black-ops missions.

We see one of these missions. Amanda wants Clark to kill, which he refuses to do, only for her to kill the targets anyway. (a version of the drone strike scene that opened the original BvS)

This causes huge moral conflict for Clark – show he and Lois debating and supporting each other at home – Lois doesn’t trust Waller and starts investigating her.

Bring in the Sons of Batman subplot from The Dark Knight Returns – Batman’s brutal new tactics inspire a gang of, deadly copycat vigilantes. Possibly you could turn them into the We Are Robin gang from Scott Snyder’s comic run

We learn about the gang from the POV of one kid – Tim Drake (or Duke Thomas, but we’d have to give him Tim’s origin – figuring out Batman’s identity as a child detective)

Tim experiences the terror and violence Batman’s new brutality is inspiring on the streets of Gotham – he goes to Wayne Manor, only to find it abandoned. Alfred lets him into the Batcave to shake some sense into Bruce, and Tim gives his pitch about Batman always needing a Robin to balance him. Bruce kicks him out.

A scene where Lex inducts the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim into his scheme.

The conflict and tension is driven up by Superman breaking up a Sons of Batman rally, then confronting Batman while he’s torturing some criminals.

Bruce is working on his power armour, exhausted. Here we see a version of the Knightmare sequence:

Future!Barry runs in, grabs Bruce and zips into the post-apocalypse to show him the future. This is the only time we see Batman kill in the movie – driven over the edge. He is fighting Evil Superman, bearded in the black suit, looking a lot like Zodd. Darkseid looms as a dark, unidentified figure in the distance. Barry runs Bruce back, yelling to find him in the present and watch out for Luthor, but Darkseid’s Omega beams hit and kill him just as Bruce is thrown back into the Cave.

He passes out, then wakes up later, convinced he’d had a dream about Superman destroying the world.

Lex lets Batman steal the kryptonite – he’s getting desperate

Finally, with the Batman crisis worsening, Waller orders Clark to take Bruce down.  Bruce is waiting with his power armour.

The fight should be a pastiche of fights from the comics – sonic weapons and kryptonite gas, but also Red Sun lasers and that moment in Hush where Bruce electrocutes Clark with the mains supply of a whole city.

Meanwhile, Lois’ investigation into Waller has uncovered that the government agents ordering Clark around answer to Lex Luthor. She realises Lex has been manipulating Superman and Batman into fighting in the hopes of killing both (supplying the kryptonite etc). Mercy Graves shows up to kill her but Lois escapes.

Meanwhile, Tim breaks back into the Batcave and steals a Robin suit.

Both Tim and Lois arrive at the scene of the fight and stop Bruce delivering the final blow. Instead of MARTHA!, Tim and Lois talk their respective heroes down, Lois explains Lex’s role. Bruce remembers Barry’s warning – was that dream real?

Lex realises what’s going on and releases his Big Bad, Metallo (replacing shit Doomsday), a kryptonite-powered cyborg mech created from the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim and  Kryptonian-killing weapons technology from Zodd’s ship. This way the fight ties in with the consequences of Clark destroying Metroplolis.

Diana, having been in the Lexcorp facility to steal her information back, arrives to fight with Clark and Bruce. She’s decided she’s still a hero.

The power is out in Gotham after Bruce used the mains to fight Clark, and the city is in chaos.

Bruce enlists Tim to evacuate the city and stop rioting while Clark and Diana fight Metallo – adapting the Dark Knight Returns sequence where Bruce rides through Gotham on horseback, enlisting the Sons of Batman to do some good.

This is the culmination of Bruce’s arc; accepting Superman is needed while stopping a repeat of Metropolis’ destruction by damage-controlling his fight. He’s also taking responsibility for his impact on Gotham through the gang.

Lex remotely sets Metallo to self-destruct when he starts losing the fight. Clark tries to save his enemy (DEVELOPMENT from MoS) but dies in the explosion due to the fatal dose of radiation poisoning. This death sets up the next 'phase’ of movies

We’ve set up several threads for future movies – we are aware of Atlantis thanks to Diana’s information, without having Aquaman thrown in our faces.

Lex gets away – Bruce breaks into his office and confronts him, but Lex is untouchable and still running for President

Bruce is now privately investigating what he saw in the Knightmare, including finding Barry Allen

Tim starts training to be the next Robin – Bruce is learning from his mistakes with Jason.

Amanda Waller sets up Suicide Squad

Lois is revealed to be pregnant with Clark’s child at the end, paralleling Clark’s natural birth in Man of Steel

[klbwriting]

Center of Two Worlds

Chapter 3: You Can Learn A Lot Not Speaking

Fandom: DCEU

Pairing: Orm x female!Reader

Warnings: some violence

Summary: Orm and Y/N have a fight causing them to not speak to each other.   They obverse each other and see a common interest that could bond them. However, an old enemy brings danger to them

Tags: @bookdragoneve @scuzmunkie @fangsweetpea @dulcerdzx @downsideright @aggie-the-poet  

(I couldn’t find a person to credit this GIF for so please if someone knows who did it originally let me know!)

Orm couldn't even remember what had started the fight but here he was fighting with Y/N, the two of them yelling at each other about the surface world and its people again.  Orm knew he should stop, he didn't want to fight with her really but he was too prideful and stubborn and annoyed at how much a halfbreed like her entranced him to stop now.  He growled at her as she ranted at him and that stopped her in her tracks and she glared. "You know this is why you're not king anymore because you aren't fit for it, you only care about yourself!" Y/N said, fists clenched at her sides.  Why was she saying this to him?  She didn't really mean it but she couldn't stop.  She would have much rather him be kissing her with that mouth of his but she wasn't going to let him know that.  He hated her and her kind, why should she be attracted to him?   "Really?  I only care about myself?  What about your father?  Helping my mother in some hope she would reward him as she abandoned her people?  They were selfish!  Your father should be dead for his crime and you shouldn't even exist you...you pathetic halfbreed!" he said, getting up in her face and poking her chest.  The insult wasn't that bad but the venom behind it, and how his eyes stormed over so that his blue irises became gray.  She backed away and shook her head. "Ok, look, I promised Arthur I'd stay another couple days but during that time let's just not talk and not see each other if possible ok?" she said, turning away from him to swim to her room and close the door.  He let out a breath, immediately regretting how he had lost his temper with her, but he wasn't sure how to apologize when he didn't feel he was in the wrong. Early the next day Orm sat in his living area watching a program on his holoscreen in the room when Y/N emerged from her room.  They glanced at each other and she just nodded to acknowledge him before moving to the window.  He watched her quietly out of the corner of his eye as he tried to focus on his program but then he heard mumbling from her and his focus shifted.  He couldn't hear well so he quietly moved near her, trying to understand her.  Once he got close enough he could hear she was singing to herself.  

Baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle I'm losing my mind just a little So why don't you just meet me in middle In the middle

He found her singing voice to be alright, nothing special, but soothing to his ears.  He watched her quietly for some time, even after she stopped singing and just watched the world of Atlantis go by a small smile on her face.  That smile was telling to him, it let him know that she was as enamored with his world as he was, she saw how wonderful it was and appreciated it.  That stirred his heart some to see but he still stayed silent. 

Y/N had felt his eyes on her for some time now but was remaining focused on the other side of the window.  Once she felt his eyes leave her she looked over at him, seeing him looking out the window but up instead of at the city.  She wondered if he was thinking about the surface world.  He didn't seem to be angry, he wasn't glaring at the surface so she hoped maybe, just maybe, he was thinking that it might not be so bad up there.  She almost said something but instead opted to just turn and leave the room.  She needed some air, needed to feel like her world was around her, like she belonged and right now she didn't belong in Atlantis. 

She descended to the surface quickly, taking a deep breath of the air, squinting her eyes a little to adjust to the bright sunlight around her.  She heard something approaching, something fast that was trying to be stealthy beneath the water.  She went swim down again but before she could a small sub rose up and she was soon laying on top of it as it stopped and a man stepped out. "Well, looks like I caught an Atlantian," he said, grabbing her by her top and pulling her up to stand.  He was strong, the suit he was wearing gave him more power than a human should have and even though she punched his chest as hard as she could he barely moved. 

"Let me go!" Y/N yelled, starting to kick as he lifted her into the air.  He chuckled.

"Settle down, I won't hurt you, I just need a nice high born to put up for ransom.  That should bring Aquaman running," he said, tossing her into the cockpit and strapping her in, tying her hands together.

While he was distracted Orm climbed onto the vessel.  He glared, recognizing the man immediately.

"Let her go Manta," he said, trying hard not to wince as his monitor burned his skin.  He was outside of his arrest area but he didn't care, no one was going to take Y/N.  Manta stopped and smirked at Y/N before turning.

"You were not the one I was expecting," he said.  "But, I guess you'll have to do."  He pressed a button and soon several other subs rose to the surface, more men in similar gear to Manta's.  "Now, how much do I get for the girl?  How about, the head of the Aquaman?  Think you can pull that off?"  Orm glared.  He wanted to tear Manta's head off and feed it to a great white but instead he just waited.  He knew Arthur was coming and probably with a squad considering that Orm was dangerous.  "No answer?  Fine."  Manta leveled his weapon at Orm and just as he moved to attack Manta fired, hitting Orm in the leg and sending him back into the water. 

Y/N fought her restraints, eyes wide when Orm was hit.  She fought harder, wrists starting to bleed from her struggling against her binds.  She had to help him, she couldn't let him get hurt trying to save her.  She cried out louder when she saw Orm fly out of the water, landing on his feet but his hurt leg giving out on him and forcing him to almost fall again.  Blood was dripping from the wound, spurning Y/N to struggle more, finally getting out of the restraints.  Manta was focusing on Orm, aiming to fire at him again when Y/N sprung from behind, landing on his back and using her fingers to dig into his eye sockets as much as she could.  He screamed in rage and pain and flipped her hard over his body, making her smack her back and head on the top of his sub.  Dazed, she got slowly onto her hands and knees and he moved to aim the weapon at her.  Just before he could fire it the gun was knocked from his hands by a water canon.  Manta turned to look who attacked and saw Arthuer, Mera, Atlanna, and several commandos taking out the rest of his men.  Manta glared, but he had a plan for this.  He moved subtly, hitting a button on a grenade, setting it down on the top of his vessel.

Atlanna ran to Orm, helping him slowly to stand, noticing that he was inching as quickly as he could to Y/N, needing to help her.  Arthur landed next to Manta, grabbing him by the throat with Mera standing by in case he tried to attack again. 

"Yet again, this wasn't supposed to become a habit," Arthur said with a smirk.  He was ready to kick ass and never see this guy again.  Mera frowned at the smile on Manta's face.

"Somethings wrong," she said.  Manta made a sound and Arthur loosened his grip slightly.

"I would get going before this place blows," he said, eyes going towards the grenade on the ground.  Arthur's eyes widened and he looked to Mera, tossing Manta hard into the cockpit of the vessel and taking her hand to flee.  Atlanna helped Orm get Y/N and they moved to jump.  "Just know, I'm not done with any of you yet."  The three jumped into the ocean and Manta quickly disabled his grenade and sped off into the depths. 

"Arthur, help me with your brother," Atlanna said, letting Arthur take hold of Orm and she held Y/N as they headed back to Atlantis.  The king moved to swim away but couldn't, looking to see Orm's hand in Y/N and not letting go.  He looked at his brother and smiled a little as he slowed up, letting them hold hands on the way to the infirmary.  

[superbatson]

shazam: spoiler review

now’s where the real fun begins. i made notes during the film of things i liked/want to talk about in this review. mostly to be safe bc i wasn’t sure what i’d remember coming out of the film.

i don’t think i need to but MAJOR SPOILER WARNING 

stay away if you have not seen the film yet and don’t want spoilers. ‘cause i’m gonna go there. 

still here? alright, let’s do this.

billy’s first line in the movie is “holy moly” and i legit squealed. that’s what i referenced in the other review when i said he’s like a mix of the different versions of the character. ‘cause i know he really never said that in the new 52 run but they included it in the movie and it’s so cute!!!!! honestly, i expected this billy to say “holy shit” or something but he really doesn’t. i don’t think asher even got to swear at all in the film, besides “what the hell” when he visits the wizard. maybe disney forbid him or something, lol. (also, i tried keeping count of how many times billy said “holy moly” and unless i missed one or lost count, i got 3. twice from asher, once from zac - and i believe that one was in the bus scene and it has him looking up at the bus and the whole shot reminded me a lot of a panel from that superman/shazam: first thunder comic that i’ve posted about before.)

SPEAKING OF SUPERMAN, i should probably wait to talk about the end, but... there’s no henry cameo. superman does make an appearance at the end, as previously reported from test screenings - i won’t give away the context but there’s a scene that kind of foreshadows it earlier on in the film - but you never see his face. it’s shot from the chest down, enough that you recognize the dceu costume but you don’t see whether or not it’s actually henry. chances are it wasn’t, and i was kinda bummed that it wasn’t him. i hadn’t lost hope going in that he could still appear, so i feel let down that it really didn’t happen. maybe he showed up in a deleted scene???? ah, who knows? i do wanna know what, exactly, happened there, but we might never get that information.

okay, back to my list of notes..

this is random and not something i’ll discuss too much but one of the women billy goes to when trying to find his mom (like all women in the philly area with the “batson” last name) is named rachel so i’m officially his mother now.

i have a few jokes written in my notes but i think i’ll save those for when the film’s officially out, ‘cause probably other people will mention them too, and for anyone who is actually reading this before seeing the film, i don’t want them to be un-funny for you when you actually watch the movie

oh, i think i could tell what were reshoots and what weren’t???? not necessarily based on bad effects or whatever, like the awful green screen in justice league, but i noticed in videos and whatnot between when they filmed in february to when they went back for reshoots in november that asher had grown a few inches and his voice started to drop, and there’s a scene or two at school where i really noticed it. well, i don’t know about the height thing bc i’m not totally sure what the height difference was, if any, between jack and asher back when they started shooting the film, but it’s not hard to tell that asher’s voice is deeper in some scenes and not others. i mean, his voice is even deeper now on the shazam press tour, and obviously it’s not like they could really do anything about it bc using tech to somehow alter his voice would have sounded weird, but it’s still something i noticed. juuuuust saying.

the seven deadly sins appear quite a bit throughout the film and boy are they creepy. i thought their designs would be closer to how they appear in the new 52 comic, but they really surprised me. i also kinda thought the cgi was a little weak, at times, for them??? at least at that winter fair thing, but maybe that’s because there was, like, interaction between them and the foster kids. putting these computer constructs against live people probably made them look a little more fake. but they were still pretty creepy! again, don’t take your very little ones to see this film. they’ll probably be scared.

looking at my notes again, i should probably make a separate post about the billy/freddy stuff. bc i wrote several things down and i don’t wanna waste space here talking about it. i might do the same thing for the other pop culture/dc references in the movie bc there were a lot.

ohhhh the shazamily shows up and it’s GREAT. i saw it coming, obviously, bc of the new 52 comic, but i LOVED IT. adam brody as freddy???? PERFECT. meagan good as darla????? ADORABLE. i don’t know the rest of the shazamily actors by name but they were all good. the casting department deserves, like, all the awards.

and there’s two credit scenes for the film. the first, mid-credits one is the obvious sequel tease where sivana meets mr. mind (i can’t believe our villain for the second film is really gonna be a talking worm but here we are; at least it seems like he’ll team up with sivana, so mark should be back)

what i hoped would be an actual henry cameo or even possibly one from dwayne johnson was actually kind of a throwaway post-credit scene, and one i almost feel like could have been added in fairly recently. not due to quality, but bc it’s just, like, one big joke about how cool aquaman is. well, not a joke, but - basically the scene’s already appeared in tv spots. billy, as shazam, realizes he doesn’t have the power to talk to fish and questions how a power like that could even be cool/useful. freddy points to his aquaman shirt and says how it could be used to control an army of thousands in the ocean, and i forget exactly what billy says, but it’s something like “oh, yeah, i guess that is cool” and that’s how the movie ends. part of me wants to say it was added fairly later on bc aquaman just came out in december and though i think the shazam reshoots were done by then, they couldn’t have predicted that aquaman would be a success, so the scene might not have been as funny if the film flopped. but i won’t sit here and over-analyze or anything.

last thing i’ll say, though it may be an odd not to end on - the actual credit sequence is pretty cool. it’s all 2d animated and is made to look like a flip book in a notebook or post-it notes, and is kind of hinted to have been done by freddy since his “guide to superhero-ing” makes a brief appearance, as well as some of his justice league action figures. most of the league actually make appearances in this animation and it’s very cute. kinda pokes fun at them but not in a bad/mean way at all. one i’ll mention is when wonder woman appears and she kisses shazam!billy on the cheek. i would bet that zac is dying to recreate that in live-action bc we all know he loves gal, like, a lot. (and who can blame him?)

okay, this review is probably way too long now and i haven’t even talked about everything in my notes. but like i said, i’ll make separate posts for some things. go see this movie. i assure you, you will not be disappointed.

[squirrelwrangler]

rose-of-the-bright-sea replied to your post: I forget how inane and common it is, but I tried...

*is guilty of complaining about DC’s color use* Sorry. Especially since it’s flooding the movie’s tags. You should get to enjoy that without the snide comments.

It’s just- SOOO F*CKING COMMON. Articles and podcasts about Star Trek, or other non-related fandoms or movies, let alone other DC properties have to bring that complaint or ones similar. I forget how common it is, that it’s the thing to do, and then I actually read anything entertainment-related online. And it’s exactly like the prequel bashing from the 2000s. I can’t follow anything Superman because god forbid there’s this version that isn’t some mythic nostalgia version from the late 70s movies or 90s comic that they say they want (and then contract themselves on what makes a good Superman). I would listen to a podcast reviewing the John Byrne era Superman comics, and be baffled that the hosts were praising what the storytellers were doing - for almost the same damn things MoS was bashed for. They’ve forever tainted the John Williams Superman theme for me, btw. I hate it.

But dare MoS exists, this one that was filmed specifically with the styling of a documentary, to lack artificially adjusting the skin-tones, often the scenes are shot so that there is focus on one intense color (usually a red cape or the orange sunset of a dying Krypton, any time with the green kryptonite). Which is just not allowed to be the visual style for an action comedy - and the reviews for Teen Titans Go and Lego Batman made it clear that only satires are acceptable DC films anyway. Where were the people bitching about the color in the Deadpool movies? (Which, I laughed at them, but there’s a teenage frat boy’s humor, a snarkiness, that I completely understand why people wouldn’t like them for good reason. The spoofing of the genre that I also liked in the first GotG - but also the first GotG had moments of earnest heart whereas watching GotG2 was the most unfunny and non-enjoyable movie theater experience that I’ve ever had, even if the film was brightly saturated. Just, wow, I can’t remember paying for a ticket for a movie that I hated watching that much. Not even Ultron was that bad).

 I remember great lines from MCU films, but the only movie of the twenty that I will regularly think back and go “the images were beautiful and memorable to look at” is the first Thor. Okay, and the Thor movie is the only other one that I regularly remember the themes and musical motifs. I definitely have my tastes. Look, I’ve accepted that Thor is my Wonder Woman, the one that I’ll go “well the rest of the films aren’t good, but we can agree this one was good”. Well, except the general consensus nowadays is that only Ragnarok was good.

And I’m going to be petty and finally type my feelings on this: the Airport scene in Civil War (and most of that movie, c’mon people) is really ugly. Like, I can’t look at it without thinking of how godawful it looks. There’s only middle tones, and grayed, washed out ones at that, because they filmed digital and didn’t color grade, and it is a ugly gray movie, but hey, billion dollars profit and daylight scenes and constant quips and undercutting stakes with a wink and nod at the audience these are escapism films to snark with and therefore ‘more colorful’.

...sorry. it’s past midnight, I have no filter on the rant that simmers under my skin for months now (and I could point at Justice League and every single Whedon reshot scene where I could see the quality in both writing and cinematography dip - but the bloggers got the changes that they were demanding, including Elfman’s score, hooray), and I swear, if it wasn’t bashing BvS, it was complaints about how dare the Death of Superman movie rush to reestablish the Superman/Lois relationship. Like, wow, that was a mistake to go into that tag. Amazing, the Venn Diagram one could make between people who disliked Lois Lane and the DCEU films... 

Sorry, this is a rant properly aimed at the void.

[starspatter]

I think you should do ALL THE ASKS :D

WELL ALL RIGHT THENA - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.1) DCAU TimSteph2) ItsuHaru3) Logan x Diana Prince4) Itsuki Koizumi x Kyouya OotoriB - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.*looks at WonderWolf and SuperBats*C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.BatCat.  Even back when I wasn’t a fan of Batman I remember I read one DCAU comic involving Catwoman, and her character just didn’t appeal to me.D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.Any Kagepro ships tbh.  Idk I’m just not really invested in the romance of the series.  I prefer them all as friends/platonic.E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?Ahaha…  I’ve contributed a fair bit of Kagecrack through vids/posts, though I think my favorite are these BTAS crossover edits.Also Kyorange and Skitzo!Kyon for TMoHS.  (Plus the “genderbent cast is the previous generation” theory if that counts?)F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?Well I’ve been a Pokémon fan since elementary school.  While I no longer watch the show/play the games, I still follow the new generations and RP on occasion.G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?Eeyup.  While I don’t ship too often, when I do I ship HARD.  ItsuHaru was my first real “obsessive” OTP, but I think the honor for the *very* first ship I had goes to… Cody x Ken from Digimon S2, in a sense. *shot* ^^; Idk I was just really focused on the idea of them making up and becoming “friends”. XP Though I also shipped Ken with Kari too bc of the Dark Ocean stuff.  (Also Gary Oak x Molly Hale from Pokémon but that’s a whole other story. >.>; )H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?I’m still mostly a weeb so animu is my go-to, but I’ve been branching out to more Western stuff lately.  (Although when it comes to Kagepro the songs are still the best medium. =3=)I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?Steven Universe.  While I still love the show, hearing about all the toxicity in the fandom really turned me off so I just try to avoid it.J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)Again, Steven Universe.  Also Over the Garden Wall and Bojack Horseman (the former of which I still really recommend you see).K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?I’m also gonna say Sunset Shimmer from Equestria Girls.  She went from being a seemingly one-off villain to a fully redeemed good guy and leader in her own right.  Though she still has her insecurities, it lets her relate to and help others in the same situation to not let those feelings of inadequacy or jealousy overcome them.Also Midna from Twilight Princess.  Her change of heart from servicing her own needs to selfless sacrifice after observing how hard Link tried to save others mirrors my own feelings when I met Link in OoT/MM and watched him grow into a true hero, working to help both the people of Hyrule and Termina even when he had no obligation or was openly blamed for Ganon’s rise to power.L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)So I’m not a big fan of Dick Grayson in the DCAU (or any of his animated adaptations aside from Lego Batman; his YJ version being especially egregious) since I see him as rather childish and bad at dealing with conflict, but he’s admittedly a lot better in the tie-in comics, which give him some much needed development as Nightwing (whereas he barely got any screentime in TNBA).  There he acts as a genuine big brother to Tim, and is shown to not be as nearly as bitter at Bruce as the Old Wounds ep would have one believe.  I also like that they highlight Dick’s fondness for music, wherein his musical knowledge actually comes in handy to solve a couple cases.M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.All of the Mekakushi Dan, SOS Brigade, or Host Club tbhN - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).1) More Kagepro content in general2) More DCAU TimSteph 3) More ItsuHaru

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?Growing Up - Run River NorthDefinitely a Timmy Todd/TimSteph song now that I think about it.  Especially the lines “I found my way without your help, with a broken family” and “monsters in my head”. ;(P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).…Tbh I’m really liking the “Legion x Ouran” idea lately. XD *shot*Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.Hm…  I don’t think there are any I’ve really “abandoned”, per se.  Most of them are still there, just not at the forefront anymore.R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?All the relationships in Kagepro *shot*S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)Molly Hale from the third movie is the god of the Pokémon world.  Just… don’t ask lol.T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?Already answered, but I’ll add a few of my favorites for DCAU TimSteph:1) Tim cuts his own hair after RotJ (or rather just lets it grow long) since he doesn’t trust anyone else with sharp objects around him.  Steph is the first person he allows to trim his hair for him (even though she has no experience with it either), since I imagine him feeling comfortable enough around her that he even falls asleep like Sousuke does with Chidori in Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid.  (For context, he was raised as a soldier from an early age and this is what happened when they tried to take him to a salon.  Played for laughs, but probably an accurate portrayal of people suffering from anxiety/PTSD having to deal with mundane tasks that trigger them.)

2) Similarly, Steph plays piano to help calm Tim down whenever he’s having a panic attack.3) After RotJ Tim refuses to wear red for a long time until Steph knits him a red scarf and tells him it “suits him” bc red is the color of heroes.

As an aside, I also recently like the idea that Logan was at Lex’s party in the DCEU and saw Bruce and Diana together, based on this playlist that I made.  U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.Gonna talk about a few I don’t mention too often nowadays.

1) Link from The Legend of ZeldaLink will forever be my greatest true love.  He’s the first real “hero” I believed in, and he honestly changed my life at one point to actually want to be a better person.  While that faith has faded and I don’t think I can ever reach his example, I still wish I had that kind of courage and kindness - or at least be able to inspire others in the same way he did me.2) Meroko Yui from Full Moon wo SagashiteIf Link was the first (and only) person I ever truly fell in love with, Meroko was the one who taught me what “true love” was in the first place.  I won’t say too much since I still sincerely hope you will check out the series someday, but suffice to say there’s a scene towards the end where she makes a choice that shows how much she has personally grown, and come to understand what it really means to “love” someone wholeheartedly.

3) Gary Oak from PokémonThis is a bit of an odd one, but Gary is a character I related to a lot when I was an adolescent since, of the main series cast, he was the first and one of few to really change his “status quo” by quitting training and deciding to become a researcher instead.  In my eyes it seemed like a shockingly conscious choice to “grow up” in a world where you can ostensibly remain a “child” forever, and I both admired and deplored him for it (especially at that tender transitory age I was going through at the time, where it feels like you’re being forced to “become an adult” whether you want to or not).

V - Which character do you relate to most?Already answered.W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.Romance in general is really not my thing, so I dislike when it’s the focus/the writers feel the need to pair every character.  I’d rather leave things open-ended most of the time.X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.Family/friendship stories + tragic adopted children wanting to be heroesY - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?X-Men, Kingdom Hearts, Dangan Ronpa, Fate/Stay Night, Various Magical Girl series, Various RPG Horror games

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)I feel like I’ve rambled enough already phew. OTL Thanks for asking though. =P

[intergalactic-zoo]

I decided, apropos of nothing, to put on Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" while doing some work today. I discussed the movie when it came out eleventy billion years ago, and thought it was fine. It's not good, but grading on the curve of every DCEU movie up to that point, it was a solid B-. Sitting in 2021, I remember bits and pieces of it—Steppenwolf looking like he stepped out of an XBox 360 cutscene, the decent cell phone video of Superman that was marred by the terrible attempt to CGI out Cavill's moustache, all the characters sounding like their rough counterparts in "The Avengers"—but not a lot of details.

Obviously the intervening years have altered my perspective on the film, both through the revelations about the behind-the-scenes racism and abuse and through the fanatical and also frequently abusive behavior of the fans clamoring for this version of the film, which absolutely definitely existed and was finished years ago and also needed an additional $70 million dollars and reshoots to complete. 

That perspective has not been altered for the better. 

Against my better judgment, I'm going to watch the Snyder Cut sometime, probably this weekend, so I figured it'd be good to see how it deviates from the theatrical release, like I did for the Lester and Donner cuts of "Superman II" so very long ago. I don't expect to enjoy either one; my feelings on the superhero movies of Zack Snyder are well-documented, and even under the best circumstances, four hours is too @#%*$! long for a superhero movie. But four hours of nihilistic spite dressed up in cinematic deepities and CGI with a sepia-toned overlay is unlikely to be the best of circumstances. 

Will it be better than two hours of the extremely generic re-skinned "Avengers: Age of Ultron" that got released to theaters? There's only one way to find out!

Boy, the New 52-ass character designs in the DC logo opening sure didn't age well. When was Rebirth, like, the year before?

Pretty neat that it's got Mogo and Jessica Cruz in there, though. 

That cell phone scene was a lot better in my memory. Like, the kids with a podcast are kind of charming, but I remembered it being a good Superman moment, when it's really just kind of nothing. Certainly not enough to justify the extremely bad CGI. And is the negative space on the S-shield supposed to look so gray?

Gotham City looks like the background of a Robert Rodriguez movie, but I actually like it here. It feels grimy and a little uncanny, the way Gotham should. A big building with "JANUS" on it in glowing letters and big coal chimneys out of Victorian London are what I want to see in Gotham, along with copious brooding gargoyles and enormous iron statues of Greek gods that you could drive a car on. 

A building that is continually being robbed by either Two-Face or Maxie Zeus

"Batman Forever," for comparison

Ben Affleck's Batman rasp is at least as silly as Christian Bale's. Batman can just talk in a voice, my dudes. I watched bits of "Batman & Robin" and "Batman Forever" to track down the right screenshots, and it's so much better when Batman is a guy with a deep voice rather than a guy who sounds like he's gargling gravel and sand. 

The crook asking "where does that leave us?" because Superman's dead is a little weird given that Superman was a public figure in this universe for literally a year and a half. In 2021, it's a bit like asking how we could go on if Billie Eilish died, except Billie Eilish hasn't, to my knowledge, ever been involved in a fight that leveled a major city.

The maudlin mourning sequence probably should have come before Batman backflipped over a snarling Kirby monster and "Mindhunter's" Holt McCallany hopped around on a rooftop, because I laughed out loud at the unhoused person's "I Tried" sign and I do not think that was the intended reaction. 

And then the Leonard Cohen cover gives way to the Danny Elfman score, and it sounds like "Batman" '89 again. God, this movie really is a mess. 

I appreciate Wonder Woman explaining her powers like she's in a Chris Claremont comic. How long until we get a superhero movie with a proper reference caption? I just want to see a box in "Into the Spider-Verse 2" that says "*It happened in Spectacular Spider-Man #206, True Believers!"

I really wish superhero movies could stop having the scene where superheroes talk about how stupid superheroes are. It feels so self-conscious. Just embrace the concept without being ashamed of it, please.

I also wish we could have dialogue less on the nose than everything Henry Allen says. He talks exclusively in clichés about movement—"running in circles," "standing still," "find your own path." We get it, he's talking to the Flash.  

I keep forgetting that this movie is a fetch quest. It could have worked if we'd seen more than Themyscira before. This could be like that sequence in "Avengers: Endgame" where we go on a little memory tour of the previous films, but instead it's a return to Paradise Island, our first brief, boring glimpse of Atlantis, and a nuclear plant cooling tower. This is one of the problems with setting the "let's get the team together" movie before you've met most of the team or established most of the set pieces. 

The boom tube effect is pretty good. It's a shame Steppenwolf looks so much like a character from a Zemeckis film. I do appreciate that Joss had enough restraint to avoid dropping "Magic Carpet Ride" or something when he showed up. 

Fus roh dah!

Also, I realize the ship has largely sailed on this, but the Amazons are supposed to be an incredibly advanced society; maybe we could stop depicting them as exclusively armed with bronze-age weaponry. 

You know, it's hard to see Lois Lane so...despondent? Demoralized? Even in the wake of Clark's death. Like, Lois was pretty weepy for a few issues of the comics after Superman died, but within two months she was accosting cops and breaking into Cadmus in a wetsuit and punching dudes in the teeth. Lois Lane is a stone cold badass, and the only film in this erstwhile trilogy that came close to understanding that was "Man of Steel."

The frustrating thing about the dialogue is just how obvious it is that Joss knows how to write exactly as many characters as are on the Avengers. Batman just sounds like Tony Stark, Wonder Woman banters like Black Widow until she needs to exposit like Thor, it's just so lazy. 

And so is the backstory of the Mother Boxes. I actually really like the "all the races of man joined together with the gods and the Green Lanterns to repel Steppenwolf" angle, because it makes this idea of uniting as a League into a theme that you could build a movie around (that movie was "The Fellowship of the Ring"). Unfortunately, they do it by stripping the Mother Boxes of anything that made them interesting as a concept and turning Steppenwolf into a low-rent Thanos. Thanos is supposed to be a low-rent Darkseid, get it right. 

I was going to rag on Bruce for comparing Flash's suit to "the space shuttle" in the present tense, when the space shuttle program ended six years before this movie came out, but I suppose Bruce Wayne is a cranky old guy in this movie, so it kind of works. 

Man, poor Ray Fisher, in addition to everything else, having to read this warmed-over Bruce Banner dialogue. 

Not gonna lie, hearing the Elfman Batman theme is pretty great. It's nice that Batman and Wonder Woman have really solid, recognizable motifs in the score, even if they had to reach back 30 years to find one for Batman. It's a shame the other characters don't get anything so clear and distinctive. 

Casting J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon was a pretty good move.

Our first full glimpse of Cyborg is a bit uncomfortable. Up until this point, we've seen him in sweats, so seeing him without clothes...it's like that bit in "Cats" where Idris Elba takes off his coat and even though he's covered in CGI, you can't help but think "okay, he's naked now," a thought you only have because he was wearing clothes before. 

Batman does his "disappear while Gordon has his back turned" bit, and it becomes a gag because only Flash is left behind. Except that we've seen that Flash perceives things at a higher speed than others, so why would he be caught off-guard? Wouldn't their disappearance have happened in basically slow-motion to him? Why did Wonder Woman and Cyborg disappear when Batman did? How did they know to do that? The only reason Flash is left behind is for the gag, because he's the comic relief character right now, but it would make more sense for literally either of the others to be the one in that position. It feels like a "kill your darlings" moment. Like, they decided that this gag was more important than making sense, when they could easily have done a different gag—like Flash noticing that Batman was leaving and stopping him in the middle. 

The Nightcrawler is a bad idea. It doesn't really make sense as the thing Batman would bring to this fight with Steppenwolf, and it's loaded up with guns, which...come on, guys. It doesn't even get a clear enough spotlight to be properly toyetic. 

If you needed any confirmation that Joss saw how much better Quicksilver was in "X-Men: Days of Future Past" than in "Age of Ultron," the Flash is here in this battle to make it obvious. 

God, the "Flash is awkward about being on top of Wonder Woman" gag feels like it lasts a thousand years. It's like something out of a "Big Bang Theory" episode.

It physically pained me to hear crappy Steppenwolf quoting New Gods #1. 

I know there's pathos to Cyborg's character, but, like, is this really the version that they thought people wanted to see? Is this just the Brooding League? I thought a part of the reason for bumping Cyborg up to the big League was to bring in people who love the version on "Teen Titans," but there's nothing of that character here. 

On the other hand, they've sidestepped the modern problem of making Barry Allen act like Wally West by instead making Barry Allen act like Bart Allen with a head injury. 

I really like Bruce Wayne in a vest. 

There's so many things that would have made this movie better, but honestly? I think Superman should've stayed dead. Obviously I love the character, and I even love Cavill's performance, but a movie about  a superhero community coming together and being inspired by Superman's example to be better—you know, the thing Batman says at the end of "Dawn of Justice"—would have been a lot better than a movie where two characters we just met dig up Superman's grave to MacGuffin him back to life. It still wouldn't make that much sense that Superman would have such a massive impact after just a year and a half of public superheroing (come on, Snyder, if you're going to do the Christ allegory, why not give him three years?), but it would have been a better way to showcase what the character means to this universe and to these characters. 

This runs into something I said way back when I first saw "Man of Steel": You shouldn't make General Zod your first-movie villain. I've been comparing this film to "Age of Ultron" a lot, but I'm starting to realize that the entire DCEU—with the possible exception of "Wonder Woman"—is made up of the second movie in each character's respective franchises. Zod should have been the villain Superman faced after he was established, to raise doubts about the character's allegiances and present him with a seemingly impossible threat. Batman should have fought Superman after a movie where we established what Batman's deal is, how he got to be so angry and bitter. The Justice League should have faced an enemy too big to fight without Superman after the movie where a threat and Superman's legacy inspired them to unite together. Heck, even "Suicide Squad" would've been better if they'd saved the "one of our own is a traitor" plot for a sequel, where we might have some emotional attachment to some of the characters. 

Boy, Barry Allen attempting a fist bump with Cyborg and then laughing off the rejection with the phrase "racially charged" hits real bad in the wake of Ray Fisher's discussion about the environment on-set. 

One thing to appreciate about Cavill's Superman is how much he exemplifies the hairy-chested, dimple-chinned version that Dan Jurgens draws. 

And Elfman works the John Williams theme into the score. The motif works well the first time, less so the second when he's trying to kill the Flash. Hitting it in a more minor key would have been nice. Again, it's a shame they had to go literally forty years back in time to find a recognizable Superman theme when there were two Superman movies leading up to this. 

This fight between Superman and the League is bad and unnecessary, but the bit where Superman reacts to Flash in super-speed is well-done, marred only by the incredibly doofy look on Flash's face. 

God, Cavill doing the gravel-voice, asking "Do you bleed?" might be the worst part of this movie. Although Lois Lane entering the plot for the first time in an hour so she can say "the sun's gettin' real low" to Superman is a close second. Why isn't she involved in the formation of the League? Why wasn't she a major character in this?

Batman's "something's definitely bleeding" comedy bit feels like something out of a View Askew movie, and not only because it's Ben Affleck. 

Clark's discussion with Lois, "it's itchy," it's yet another jarring tone shift from what we saw immediately before. And the greenscreen work on the farm (reshoots, I expect) is somehow worse than the moustache removal. 

The bit with Aquaman baring his soul because he's sitting on the Lasso of Truth is the closest one of the comedy bits in this has come to actually working for me. 

And then, adding to the "Age of Ultron" comparisons, we're back to fighting an enemy in a small Eastern European nation. The red skies are a nice touch. The Batmobile's 50-caliber cannon and chainguns, less so.

Did...did the Flash just say "oh snap"? 

And Aquaman saying "my man" to Cyborg with the exact same inflection as Bradley Cooper in "Get Out" is another one of those real uncomfortable moments. 

And then Batman gets a laser gun, because why not? 

Superman asking "how can I help" and then rushing off to save civilians is maybe the best moment for the character in the entire DCEU. It's also nice that Superman gets a moment to help more or less each character with their individual missions. 

And then Wonder Woman drops the "I work with children" line, which is the best line Black Widow gets in this movie. 

Cyborg gets his "booyah" moment, which feels forced but at least makes some sense with his character arc. Flash gets his fistbump. Not-Sokovia gets to be the setting for a Jeff Vandermeer novel, and the team gets their triumphant moment in the sun. 

We're on to denouement, and Lois gets the closing narration, which is mostly fine. It would work better if she weren't basically a cameo in the movie. I do like that it ends on "look, up in the sky," and that Cavill finally gets a chance to do the shirt pull. 

Except that's not the end. First we get the beginning-of-credits scene with the Superman/Flash race, which is cute but unnecessary. And then a truly awful cover of "Come Together" before the post-credits sequence where Lex Luthor meets up with Deathstroke and his truly ridiculous dye job. 

In summary, Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" is a bad movie. In fact, it's several bad movies stitched together into a shambling bad movie Frankenstein. And tomorrow I'm going to watch Zack Snyder's Zack Snyder's "Justice League: The Snyder Cut," which is getting surprisingly positive reviews. I do not expect to enjoy it, because I really don't think my problems with this movie will be fixed by making it broodier and longer, and my track record with enjoying Snyder's films is basically nonexistent. But I'm watching it, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and at least if I do it while I'm still on vacation from Twitter, I won't be tempted to join in the undoubtedly toxic discourse. 

[cryptoriawebb]

SuperBats for the OTP questions

OTP Questions!

In honor of us hitting a thousand followers, here are some OTP questions!Think I’m feelin’ the DCEU for this one

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?Well, Bruce is the millionaire~

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?Hm…I think they both do this. But I can kind of…picture Bruce maybe more so. He doesn’t trust as easily and with Clark, he feels safe.And maybe guilty. And maybe wants to protect him, too.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?Hm…Honestly I think Bruce is more prone to shirtlessness while Clark tends to wear his flannels open.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?Aww…well, I can see Clark jokingly telling Bruce not to “stay up” knowing he’s going to, anyway, being Batman but it would kind of be cute if he tried to stay up and wait for him, every so often, and each time Bruce finds him asleep at the table or on the couch. 

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?Bruce is not allowed near the stove. Ask Alfred (he’s totally taken to the Kents and he and Clark bake together from time to time)

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?XD I think Bruce says the first line sarcastically and Clark, not getting it riiiight away, says the second. Then is like “…wait you were kidding.” And Bruce just kind of half-smiles because darn it all, he is endearing.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?Sometimes Clark borrows Bruce’s finer clothes for special occasions. 

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”Clark tends to run errands. He’s faster at it and I think might actually enjoy mingling with people.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?Bruce drives it. Clarlk flies alongside the window and critiques when he’s going the wrong way. To which Bruce insists that he isn’t, he’s got Alfred directing him.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?I…can’t see either of them really drawing

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?XD Uh…well they’d be the ones breaking up the bank robbery so…But Bruce backflips and Clark takes his time because it’s kind of nice to watch Bruce scare the crap out of people.And also he knows as soon as he does arrive, party’s definitely over.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?Bruce drinks. I’m not sure Clark can get drunk with what Earth offers…

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?I think…Clark does this. At first. Then Bruce starts feeling guilty and does the same.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?I actually think Bruce might start adding Clark to things as a Wayne, to make absolutely sure when he goes, there’s something left behind.Clark is not happy about this.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?I can’t see either of them being afraid of spiders XD

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?Hm…I can see this going both ways, too.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?They don’t have siblings…? 

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?*ahem* “I don’t…not like you.”^3^

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?I think they compliment each other pretty well. Clark wants to emulate his father for sure, but he’s got his mother’s empathy. Bruce is scary overprotective and can provide financially.

I think they’re both afraid, though. For their children’s safety, and perhaps that their kids won’t be able to relate to them in some way. That they’ll remain outsiders.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Clark is a reporter so I think he’d be the master short-hand

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?Uh…I think Superman protects Batman and Clark is quick to step in when people get smart or nasty with Bruce. (Bruce also does this: it’s a mutual understanding between them that Clark’s inhuman indestructibility cannot be revealed)

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?Clark makes the puns for sure.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?Ooh…I can see this going both ways. They both have a soft spot for those in need/abandoned

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?It’s usually Clark holding Batman up, unless Kryptonite is involved.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?I…can’t really see them doing this unless ‘activity’ means ‘battling the forces of evil.’

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?Oh man…I want to say Clark, and he totally pulls it up from time to time when Bruce is being stubborn.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?Clark. In a different way. Showing Bruce the small town farmer life, get him back in touch with his humanity and life’s slower pace.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?Well I mean…batcave.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?They take turns. 

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?Honestly, wherever Alfred forced them to go. No ‘working vacations’ no ‘polar expeditions honestly you’ll sooner catch your deaths.’ Just a week-long cruise through sunny shores and ‘do try not to get into trouble.’

[klbwriting]

Combining Two Worlds

Chapter 6: The Surface Again

Fandom: DCEU

Pairing: Orm x female!Reader

Summary: Orm and the Reader are on the surface again to be safe and are joined by someone who can give them parenting practice

Tags: @bookdragoneve @scuzmunkie @ormstrident @dulcerdzx @downsideright @aggie-the-poet @weakling-grace @singe666 @readytocomply15 @btheapsc @anxiety-station @whimsicalragnarok @kings-never-die @burningechoes

Orm and Y/N left early the next morning, in secret, so as not to worry the rest of the nobles.  Arthur had a story ready about them wanting to visit Y/N's mother for a while and he was waiting to tell the rest of the royals at a meeting later.  For a time Vulko was going to act as vizier again until Orm returned, and their room would be sealed off in case that other family go any ideas and tried to sneak out and set traps or anything to the room.

              "I don't want them to home alone Orm," Arthur said to Mera who looked at him strangely.  "Add that to the list of movies you have to see next time we visit dad."  She nodded slowly, still trying to figure out what he could be talking about.  Tom was on his lap, eating a snack, when he started coughing.  Arthur frowned and when he didn't stop they sent for a physician who came and saved the boy but frowned.

              "He's been poisoned," the doctor said, motioning to the snack he had.  "Who brought it to him?"  Arthur frowned and looked to Mera who went and got the servant who had gotten Tom the snack.

              "Did you make this yourself?" the doctor asked.  The girl shook her head.

              "They were in the kitchen, when we always keep his snacks," she said.  "It was his snack time so I got it from the cabinet for him.  It was the last one left."  The doctor frowned.

              "So whoever did this knew he would have to eat that one," he said.  "I think we may have a traitor in our midst."  Arthur rolled his eyes.

              "Not again, didn't I already deal with traitors?" he grumbled.  Mera frowned.

              "Syfin and his family must be influencing others and starting to ramp up their efforts now that my father has stopped supporting them," she said.  "I'm going to take Tom Janet's also, Orm and Y/N can have some parenting practice and keep him safe."  The king nodded and kissed his son's head, pressing their foreheads together before sending Mera off.  Arthur ordered that anyone in contact with the family be brought to him.  Threats and games he could tolerate and punish, but attempting to actually kill his son?  That would bring a retribution they had never experienced upon themselves.  He went to the throne room and waited for the first guard to be brought in.

              Janet was excited to see Y/N and Orm, hugging them both when they came inside the house.  She looked at Y/N and for a second Orm was once again convinced that surface dwellers could read minds when the woman started squealing and clapping and hugging again.  Y/N was laughing, hugging her mom tight.

              "Do you know when you're due?  Boy? Girl? Names?" she asked eagerly as she led them into the living room and sat them down.  Y/N laughed, and sat, letting Orm go off to change as she talked to her mother.  While he was getting changed Arthur sent a message to Orm about what had happened to Tom, warning him to check any gifts they had brought from Atlantis.  He finished changing and quickly ran downstairs, still putting his shirt on.  Y/N was handing her mom one of the treats they had brought and Orm ran over and grabbed it away, shoving it back in the bag and throwing it all away.

              "Orm, what's wrong?" Y/N asked, standing up.  Orm looked at them.

              "Tom was poisoned, Arthur warned me that our stuff might be tainted also," he said.  Janet looked appalled.

              "Who would poison a child?  Especially a sweetheart like Tom?" she asked.  Orm sighed and explained about what had been going on in Atlantis.  Just as he was finishing and Janet was hugging her daughter again there was a knock.  Orm answered and Mera walked in.

              "Did Arthur tell you?" she asked.  Orm nodded, but still looked confused.  "He forgot to tell you that you were going to be watching Tom for a time?"

              "He probably thought it would be a great surprise," he said.  He was going to stab his brother again sometime, he really was.  "We will keep him safe, I promise."  Tom was still sleeping from his treatment from the doctor so Orm took him into his arms.

              "I'll set up the air mattress in the office for him," Janet said, moving to head upstairs.  Orm smiled appreciatively at her.  Y/N hugged Mera.

              "He will be safe here and as soon as you say the word he will be back in your arms," she assured her before Mera left.  "She must feel so sad, she's never been away from him for more than a day or two before and now she doesn't know the next time she will see him."  Orm nodded and looked at his nephew.

              "So what now?" he asked.  Janet came downstairs and plied the small child from his arms, carrying him upstairs and tucking him into the office.  Y/N and Orm followed and waited outside the door.

              "I baby proofed it a bit too while the mattress was inflating so he won't wake up and hurt himself on accident," she said.  "I guess you two are going to get a crash course in having a child."  Orm's eyes widened and for a moment he looked terrified.

              "That child is insane and always trying to stab me," he muttered.  Y/N folded her arms and looked at him.

              "I am 90% sure that's the exact Arthur thought the first time he met you," she said.  Orm opened his mouth and then closed it again.  She probably right because Orm was a bit insane and did want to stab his brother, that last part was still true most of the time.  "Anyway, this could be practice for when our baby comes."

              "I guess so," he said, reaching down and rubbing her stomach gently with a smile.  She smiled and put her hand on his.

              "Your father would be so happy if he was here to see this," Janet said.  "He loved babies, said they were too young to be cruel or angry."  Y/N looked sad for a second and Orm hugged her.

              "You know what, I just remembered," he said.  "I never got that lasagna you promised me like a million years ago."  Y/N laughed.

              "I guess I have to make lasagna tonight," she said.  "I should get shopping then."  Janet offered to go with her and she accepted, smiling at Orm.

              "I'll come too," he said.  Y/N nodded towards the sleeping child in the office.  "I guess I'll stay here then."  She smiled and kissed him before she and her mother headed out.

              About an hour later and Tom awoke, yelling for someone.  Orm quickly ran intot he office and knelt next to him.  He pulled Tom into his arms and hugged him.  Tom calmed down, no longer scared now that uncle Orm was there.

              "Where's mommy and daddy?" Tom asked.  Orm sat down and had Tom in his lap.  "Am I at grandpa's?  This don't look right."

              "No, you're at Janet's house," he said.  "Your mom and dad dropped you off because some bad stuff is happening in Atlantis and they need to fix it and you need to be safe."  Tom looked like he was thinking for a moment before nodding his understanding.

              "Do you want to watch TV?" Orm asked.  The kid didn't get to watch much TV in his life so it was a great novelty when he was on the surface.  Tom jumped up, ready to go.  They went downstairs and Orm turned on the TV.  They sat watching Kong Skull Island when Y/N and Janet walked in, right when the creatures were attacking and eating the people on the island.

              "Orm do you think that's appropriate for a four year old to watch?" Y/N asked, going to set the groceries in the kitchen.  Orm looked at Tom who was staring wide eyed at the TV, looking a step away from terrified.

              "Maybe not..." he said, turning off the TV.  Janet came over and took Tom, hugging him and going to get some of the toys she kept around for when he visited.  Orm headed into the kitchen and stood watching Y/N move around it.

              "Do you need help?" he asked, watching her cook meat on the stove with some onion.  He always went through the names of food items when he was on land, it made him feel like he was learning and understanding the most vital part of this world.

  ��           "Um, ya sure," she said.  "Can you get a pot of water boiling for me?"  He moved to get a pot he saw and filled it pretty high with water, walking it to stove.  Y/N looked at it and laughed.  "Too bbmuch water, pour some out."  He nodded and did as asked before turning on the burner.  Y/N adjusted it higher to make sure the water boiled and smiled at him.  "Did you have fun with Tom?"

              "Ya, he took a little bit to calm down completely but the big monkey movie helped," he said.  "Think I'll be any good with our baby?"  Orm had been worrying about turning into his father, of being as terrible with his child as his father was with him.  He didn't want to fill his children with hatred and anger like he had been.

              "I think you will be a fantastic father," she said.  "Do you know why?"  He shook his head.  "Because you care, you care about being a good father, which hopefully means you will be trying to be the best father you can be."

              "You think I will be like my father?"

              "I hope not because if you are I get sent to the Trench and I don't think I'm as badass as Atlanna and could fight my way through," she said.  Orm chuckled a little bit and kissed her head.  "Go get my mom, you can hang out with Tom more."  He nodded and kissed her head again before leaving the kitchen.

[fate-magical-girls]

Justice League Thoughts

There will be spoilers. You have been warned.

I watched Justice League last night, and while I enjoyed it, I could see some glaring flaws, and I know why it faces heavy criticism.

The movie was slow to start. It took a long time to get everyone in the same place. However, there were lots of action sequences, so it was never very boring. The banter between characters and the one-liners didn’t really bother me until the ending, when I feel the movie could have done better by letting everyone stand back and silent enjoy the sweet scent of victory. The cinematography was beautiful. Like Zack Snyder’s other movies, each shot could be a comic panel. The movie aesthetic was usually dark and gloomy, but it makes the well-lit scenes (Wonder Woman’s rescue of hostages, Superman and Lois on the farm, the ending scene with peace and hope and light restored) all the more precious. However, the CGI fails in some places, especially Henry Cavill’s mouth. Having watched Transformers, the motherboxes made me giggle. Three Allsparks! The Apokolips Invasion also lacks the original Kirby aesthetic, which is a huge disappointment.

I must say, I absolutely hate the idea of adapting the Justice League movie from Geoff Johns’ N52 Justice League origin. Disregarding the fact that Justice League: War, a faithful adaptation of the storyline, gave everyone boring, one-note personalities and changed the team make-up, something as big as the 4th world should not be part of an origin story. The Justice League is young, inexperienced, untried. They have not yet learned to work alongside each other, much less formed the strong friendships that would later guide them as a team. Darkseid and his armies are the greatest villains in the DCU. They are the very incarnation of evil. They are a force of destruction and decay to be slowed but never stopped. And yet the viewer is asked to believe that a fledgling team of misfits can defeat the greatest evil the world will ever know. Either the Justice League fails miserably, or Darkseid must be weakened to allow the Justice League to defeat him. And then? Defeating the greatest villain the universe has as the origin story means that any sequels will an inevitable letdown. What could feasibly threaten a team that has already defeated the incarnation of all evil? In terms of narrative escalation, this just isn’t done. I would prefer having Starro, Dinosaur Island, or White Martians as the enemies for the origin story. Threatening enough to destroy the world, yet still on the same level as a just-formed Justice League.

I generally liked the cast. I thought they had great chemistry. I loved the friendship between them, especially for the big three of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. A little bit on the individual characters:

Wonder Woman: I absolutely loved her. She and Cyborg were among my favorite parts of the team. She is an older and wiser hero, but still idealistic, still loving. She helps Cyborg deal with his pain and serves as Batman’s voice of reason. She and Batman are very close friends, but never romantic (in fact she’s still longing for Steve). The same can be said for Superman. She helps him remember who he is, but it’s Lois who really calms him down. Overall, Batman might have recruited the team, but Wonder Woman is the glue that holds them together. Gal Gadot is a little flat on the sadder scenes, but she’s absolutely fierce during the action scenes and I like that.

Cyborg: Cyborg was perfect. His personality and character arc were very well-done and very comic faithful. He even gives a “booyah.” Sadly he’s interacting with Flash and the Justice League and not Beast Boy and the Teen Titans, but you can’t have everything. His jagged metal shard look is also something I dislike. I would have liked something more robotic instead of Michael Bay Transformers, down to his crotch.However, the action scenes were enough to distract me from Cyborg’s less satisfactory look. He also made the Apokolips invasion plot seem less bad, because Cyborg is a very plot-relevant character. The actor was absolutely perfect, going through Cyborg’s fear and pain and later fascination with his abilities.

Aquaman: OUTRAGEOUS. I think Jason Momoa’s portrayal was okay. The American accent was jarring, since he was very much not in America when he started speaking English. Sadly he was the least developed of the League. It took a lasso around the leg to make him confess his thoughts.

Superman: Now that Cavill isn’t brooding or angry all the time, I can actually see his heavy resemblance to the Curt Swan/Kurt Schaffenberger Superman from the Silver Age comics. Now, I am no fan of Pre-Crisis Superman, but I very much love the art from the comic greats Schaffenberger and Swan. Cavill looked every bit as Superman should be: smiling, brave, hopeful. I loved his appearance during the final fight, when he acted as the beacon of hope. Also great his his resurrection. Diana might have restored his memories by addressing him as Kal-El, but it’s Lois appealing to him as Clark that brings him back to himself.

Batman: Ben Affleck’s Batman is pretty okay. It’s even refreshing to see a Batman who isn’t perfect, who doesn’t have a plan for everything. He makes mistakes and he’s fallible. But he also tries to be friendly with his teammates, cracking dry jokes to Flash and Aquaman and allowing himself to be vulnerable around Wonder Woman. Affleck did great at portraying an older, tired Batman. Besides, he gets the team together. What more can you ask of him?

Flash: Sorry, Ezra Miller fans, but I absolutely hate every single thing about his Flash. To start with, he’s not Barry Allen. He’s a student, not an actual chemist. He’s younger than most of the cast. He’s energetic, naive, and neurotic instead of calm, careful, and meticulous. Barry Allen might be awkward, but he’s also no slob. He’s fascinated by his speed powers, not so scared he only knows how to push people. Barry admires his fellow heroes, but he doesn’t worship them like a fanboy. Movie Barry acts more like DCAU Wally. He’s the general perception of what a Flash should be, with the name of “Barry Allen” slapped on. The Flash costume is also bad, as it’s a version of his over-complicated DCYou costume that looks like someone ripped off patches of his skin. Even more ridiculous is his speed effect. The Flash’s gig is running, yet the movie rarely shows him actually running, not even using the TV show’s much more comic-faithful streaking effect. Instead, he just teleports everywhere in a crackle of thunder. When he does get close up shots at him running...he barely knows how to run. Ezra Miller gives him an over-dramatic flopping stance that’s cringe-worthy to look at. However, I guess that matches the nervous, nerdy boy he’s characterized as. The biggest problem is that the Flash does not seem to be in the same movie as the rest of the team. He’s funny and quirky, but ultimately he’s more like an inserted audience member or a commentary track. He’s there to comment hilariously on himself and the situations the team gets in, and squee over the other heroes. His attitude during fight scenes is also jarring. Everyone else is ready to go, and yet the Flash is a ball of nerves constantly complaining over his phobia or his health. (the only thing missing is a “I want my mommy” line, which I’m sure we’ll see enough of in a Flashpoint movie) As a result, he destroys the heroic, hot-blooded mood of every scene he appears in. I would say he’s definitely the weak link in this movie.

Dealing with loss and grief and regaining hope is a big part of the movie, and I do like this overarching theme. However, the build-up to Superman’s big world-saving return and suddenly improved relationship with the Justice League falls a little short. However, I don’t mind this. It’s actually the previous Snyder films that caused problems with this one.

IT IS ABSOLUTELY ZACK SNYDER’S FAULT THAT THE DCEU BECAME A DARK, DEPRESSING MESS.

Zack Snyder made a dark and depressing Superman film, truly an achievement in failure. He gaffed with Batman and Superman’s first meeting in the DCEU, making the hole deeper. And if the news is right, his Justice League would have been more of the same fare. The movie we got is far from perfect, but I enjoyed it, and I don’t know if I’d say the same thing about the Snyder cut.

[remainingso]

So last weekend I went crazy and watched Justice League and Thor: Ragnarok in the same day, which mostly meant I had a killer headache at the end of the day, but also now I have a lot of Thoughts about these movies. Mostly about how they use humour, since a lot of my other thoughts have been articulated in better ways by other people. 

Okay so I’m really only comparing the two movies because I watched them back to back, and also I think because the comparison elucidates an interesting point re: humour and superhero movies in general. The tldr: Justice League tried really really really hard to be funny and the jokes were fine, but felt mostly grafted on/undermined existing things in the franchise; the humour in Ragnarok worked surprisingly well for me (a person who generally dislikes movies built on Wacky Space Hijinks, see my unwavering distaste for Guardians of the Galaxy despite everyone and their mothers telling me it’s wonderful) and I think it’s because it feels like a necessary and ingrained part of the movie. 

Spoilers under the read more

SO 

Largely, the humour in Justice League is disparate from the drama of the movie. People make quips at each other, or Barry makes a weird non-sequitur and we laugh at him, I, uh, actually am struggling to remember any of the jokes that cropped up as I type this now, tbh, which probably shows you how pointless most of them were. It...quite frankly reeks of Joss Whedon+the kind of humour in the Avengers. Characters all standing in a circle quipping at each other + big action scenes where some heroes get off a couple of one-liners that are simultaneously funny and Cool, big finale finish, yay! 

Which isn’t necessarily bad, but given the general tone of the DCEU so far, it felt ridiculously out of place. Especially since a lot of the movie isn’t devoid of the more Snyder-y elements (see: slow motion montage of Shitty Things Happening In The World like a Muslim shopkeeper being yelled at because Racism Is Bad and a homeless man sitting with an incredibly on the nose sign that reads ‘I tried’ (like. really??? really????)). So what the weird quippy humour mostly does is just break the atmosphere of seriousness the rest of the movie is clearly trying to achieve. It feels both grandiose and nonchalant, which aren’t tones that mix very well. 

So what struck me as really amazing in Ragnarok was that it was hilarious and the jokes worked really well to tie into our understanding of Thor’s character arc throughout the movie. 

I’ve never liked Thor as a character, by which I mean I thought he was funny and an interesting foil for Loki, the longtime Fave, but when my brother asked me who my favourite Ragnarok character was, I surprised myself when my answer was Thor himself. Not Loki, cunning petty snake of my heart. Not Valkyrie, badass Hot Mess in all sense of the word ‘hot’. But. Thor. And the more I thought about it, the more I think it was because what Ragnarok did really well was render Thor utterly powerless and letting us see what becomes of him after that. 

I’ve always thought that the one way to make me like a character I didn’t before is to take away all their power, and this is basically what happens here. What was really clever, though, I think, is how they did it. Namely, through humour. A lot of the humour in Ragnarok is slapstick. I...lost count of how many times Thor passed out. And furthermore, a lot of the jokes come from undermining Thor’s ego and making him look stupid (see: the teleportation w/Dr. Strange, him getting knocked around by the Hulk, everyone being all “God of Thunder who??????”). There’s this one scene when Thor’s in Hulk’s sweet apartment and he’s kicking stuff around, and his answer to what’s wrong is just that he’s pissed. 

He’s mad that Asgard is dying, and he’s stuck in this alien planet that should normally be a piece of cake for him to handle, and he can’t do anything. 

And then you slowly realize that you’ve been complicit. We feel his powerlessness and shame and frustration more strongly because we’ve been engaging it throughout the movie by laughing at him. 

I don’t think the humour in Justice League isn’t well done. I think it’s genuinely very funny. It was vastly entertaining to sit through. I laughed when Aquaman spilled his secrets accidentally because he was lasso’d, I laughed at all of Barry’s antics, but like a lot of other humourous movies, I never thought they built up to anything in particular, because they don’t really have to. 

But I was really blown away by how nuanced the humour is in Ragnarok, because it has so much lasting power, because it made me love Thor more than I ever thought was possible. Also notably the first Thor movie did take away his powers, but all their jokes were built on, well, how ridiculous of a human Thor is, because Thor is a fucking powerhouse of a human. So he didn’t have his powers, but more importantly, his reputation with the audience is firmly intact. His frustration doesn’t ring as strongly. In Ragnarok, we get a whole slew of people who best Thor, not necessarily through physical means, but systemically, the entire movie’s structure is working against him, and so are we as the audience. How do you bring a god of thunder to his knees? You laugh at him.