#tw homophobic family

[screamingsouls]

Actual conversation/how I came out to my Bubbie

Tw: homophobia/hateful behavior

Her: *going on and on about how messed up people of the queer community are, and how they're trying to tell kindergartners how to have sex*

Me: *tries to explain and educate how that's not the case*

Her: *continues to spew hate*

Me: *finally fed up* Well, how would you feel if someone you were related to was a part of that community?

Her: ... Well, I wouldn't hurt them, that's for sure.

Me: Well, guess what? I'm bisexual.

Her: *shocked/disgusted face* why would you say such a thing?!

Me: Because I am. I'm bi.

Her in the most disgusted voice: well, that's great

Me cheerfully: *internally shaking* yup, it is great.

Her: *glares at me from the corner of her vision until I leave the room*

[goofily-moved]

I just want you all to know, my fellow lgbtq+ friends, that you are so valid. You’re fucking beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you any differently. You are safe here on my blog and in my ims and I love you very much.

[nosleep83]

‼️REALLY LONG VENT IN THE TAGS PLS SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE THAT OR ANYTHING IM OK JUST FRUSTRATED (Ik I also say this in the tags but just in case)‼️

Maybe I do need to see a therapist 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[when-is-tuesday]

me when parents are being homophobic transphobic aphobic biphobic nbphobic and sexist and intersexphobic

[genderqueeradrien]

idk when i was around 9 my first exposure to trans people was a video my dad was watching on why trans women shouldn't be allowed in the women's bathroom. when i was 10 my mom gave me a christian book about puberty and it had a chapter dedicated to how being gay is wrong. when i was 12 gay marriage was legalized and my mom went on a rant about how this was a slippery slope that would lead to all sorts of horrible things becoming legal. i remember being 13 and realizing i liked women on christmas eve and sobbing and feeling so alone and i'd seen two queer characters in anything i'd watched or read in my life, and both were gay men who were never shown being affectionate with other men, and both hated themselves for it.

when my sister was 5 i mentioned to her that some people identified as both girls and boys and she thought that was cool. there was a gay character in a criminal minds episode we watched when she was 7 and she didn't flinch. she's seen jaidenanimation's coming out video and heard illymation being a demigirl. today she mentioned she and the rest of her class saying her pronouns during a class introduction and nobody thinking twice of it. a couple days ago my favourite twitch streamer, who has 4.4 million subs, came out as nonbinary. he came out as gay a couple months ago. she's 9 years younger than me but it feels like she's growing up in a different world than i did and im so so thankful she is

[deepspacedukat]

.

[mbrainspaz]

I know it's silly but sometimes I feel jealous of those people with the meddling obsessive parents. It's not that I want that, since that's also bad, but I can't help but wish I had a parent who cared about me so intensely. Mine have always been kind of indifferent. It wasn't that they didn't love me, but they did love sending me off to camp, and I liked going. I'm in my thirties and I don't need anything from them now.

It just really sucks to have a mom who'd rather not talk to you for several years than accept that you're queer and then suddenly acts all friendly when you meet up over the holidays and you think 'what the hell?' but roll with it because she's using your real name at least and maybe she did some soul searching and wants to apologize but you spend the whole weekend together laughing at youtube videos and reminiscing and drinking and then when the time comes to leave you hesitate and say, "so... is there anything you wanted to say to me?" and she just says no and leaves.

Yeah, not unblocking her number. Sheesh. It's so disturbing. It's like she's totally incapable of understanding why avoiding me for 7 months before accusing me of being demon-possessed and saying I'm going to hell so that I'm forced to block her for my own mental health should have to infringe on her enjoyment of time spent in my company. I'm not even a person in that scenario, I'm upholstery. I have more empathy for my roomba than my mom has for me, even if I do call her a dumb little #%$! when she gets stuck under the kitchen cabinets.

[ellie-says-nop]

I've been looking for a suit for my brothers wedding and my mom had been super supportive and helping me too. Today i kinda gave up and settled for a jumpsuit even though it is more fem than id like.. but it was fine. I went out with a friend later that day that suggested mens suits and although id thought about it i hadnt really looked... when I told my mom about it she said that what i had was really good and got teary eyed saying to not so this to her too if i can help it.. my brother was already doing so much to not do this to her... (my brothers fiance posted a pic of him today with bright colored nails 🙄and other more big wedding stuff)

Now everything she said made me feel horrible and i immediately told her i was getting the jumpsuit that its perfect and its all good.

I keep thinking that i am closer to coming out that it wont be that bad..

I am wearing more masc outfits, i have more i guess gay things on my walls, i talk about people differently, i talk about my future more, im open about not wanting kids, i wear more pride stuff, i am out to most of my friends.

but the moment she said that, i wanted to take everything ive done to be more comfortable all the progress ive done and shove it all in the closet again because the sentence i said made her have that reaction.

One fucking sentence.

And I am back to when i started 2 years ago.. my struggles with my sexuality and gender is not really about me thinking i am wrong, or about me and God idk.. its about what my parents reactions is.. what i cause to them i guess.

That is what kept me alive all those years ago when i was struggling with accepting myself and all the other bs going through my mentality ill mind..

But now it hurts. What kept me alive 10 years ago is making it get bad again.. and i don't know what to do...

[tryan-a-bex]

Fathers and Sons

This is for Ouiche. Read it on ao3. Why is Destruction called Joe?

Hob stretched his arms in the beautiful early spring sunshine. Dream’s brother Joe and sister Del were visiting, with Del’s dog Barnabas. They’d agreed together to visit the nearby dog park, ostensibly so Barnabas could run a bit, but actually to get Del away from the New Inn’s patrons. She tended to augment the effects of alcohol unexpectedly, with sometimes undesirable results especially if Joe was also present (Hob had seen enough bar fights, and it was too early in the day to deal with that). No, he’d much rather be here, sitting on the bench between Joe and Dream, while Dream desultorily scattered the bird seed Hob had persuaded him to purchase instead of bread for the crows and pigeons, and occasional seagull, chipmunk or squirrel. 

“Hob! Dream!” An excited squeal drew his attention as a rambunctious five year old with pink ponytails charged toward them, followed closely by a big white dog and less closely by a tall slim white man with tidy blond hair.

“Anya! Bond! Loid!” Hob greeted them with a smile, as Dream held back his grumble about the birds scattering.

“Borf!” Bond greeted him back, as Hob scratched his head.

“Anya came to play in the dog park! Look, Bond! There’s Del and Barnabas!” Anya and Bond took off again for Del, as Loid drew up to the group and nodded his greeting. 

“Joe, this is our friend, Loid Forger,” Hob introduced. “Loid, this is Dream’s brother, Joe.” Loid and Joe nodded and smiled, handshakes and air kisses having mostly disappeared after Covid. 

“Actually, if you don’t mind,” Loid said, glancing at Joe and then looking at Dream, “I have a question for you.” Joe and Dream both nodded permission, Hob’s eyebrows rising in curiosity.

“It’s been very different around our home since we learned Anya’s secret. How did you get her to tell us?”

“Ah, yes,” Dream began. “She was writing about the visit to the aquarium, and she revealed to me how much danger she was in because she tried to help you with your work, and how Yor saved her. I merely told her of a time I was in danger, and how, if I had not been keeping so many secrets from Hob, he would have been able to help me.” He paused to gaze adoringly at Hob for a moment, then turned to Loid again. “She’s very bright and saw the point immediately. Truly, your work and Yor’s in gaining her trust had done most of the work already. Apparently, she had not had any trustworthy adults in her life before you.”

Loid sighed. “Yes, it’s true. The orphanage where I found her was very grey and dim, and I can only hope she doesn’t have many memories from the time before that.  We are so happy we can give her a chance at a real childhood, one where she is taken care of rather than having to take care of herself and everyone else too.”

Joe turned to look at Anya and Del, and laughed at the sight of them gamboling in the sunshine with their dogs. “She looks happy and carefree today!” he observed. 

Loid smiled in quiet pride. Hob wondered if he’d admitted to himself yet how besotted he was with his family.

“Well,” he confessed, “today she is helping me with my work again! We are meeting her classmate here to play, and his father is someone I’ve been looking forward to talking to for quite some time!”

Just then, Hob was distracted by two sleek, dark cars pulling up at the entrance to the park. From the first, a tall, severe man emerged, followed by a young boy and an older one holding a dog in his arms. The older boy put the dog down and released his leash as two security persons exited the second car. 

“Damian!” Anya yelled, running for the group with Del in tow. Hob noticed with amusement how the older boy’s interest was piqued by Del. He was just the age to notice someone her apparent age.

“Over here!” Loid waved to the newcomers with a friendly smile. The man watched his sons greet Anya and Del for a moment, then turned toward Loid as his security found unobtrusive stations from which to observe the park.

“Loid Forger,” he nodded on reaching them. 

“Mr. Desmond,” Loid nodded back. “These are my friends, Hob and Dream, and their brother Joe.” 

“Please, call me Donovan,” he requested, and Hob watched Loid carefully not let his jaw drop. 

“Of course, Donovan,” Loid responded smoothly. “Thank you for bringing Damian to play with Anya.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you.” If Loid wasn’t a spy, Hob thought, he would have staggered at that. As it was, it was only Hob’s hundreds of years’ experience reading body language that let him see the well controlled reaction.

“We should let you sit!” Hob exclaimed, dragging Dream up with him. Loid and Donovan took the free spaces on the bench, but Donovan looked up and said, “Please stay. Perhaps you can help with my quandary also.” Hob nodded curiously, wondering why Dream, rather than wanting to leave shyly, seemed so invested in this conversation with a total stranger.

“You see,” Donovan began, “all my life I’ve thought that I could keep my family safe by winning the war. But this week, I’ve had some very vivid dreams.” Hob suddenly realized why Dream was so focused. “I’ve dreamt that I was playing with my sons, hugging them and laughing. I’ve never done this, and my father didn’t either so I don’t know where it is coming from. I was taught to keep my emotions inside, and I’ve raised my boys the same way. In these dreams, we are so happy.” He pauses to glower. “Then the war comes, and everything is destroyed.” Hob sees the pain of his past wartime experiences eating him from the inside. “As always, I do everything I can, but nothing is enough to save my family. Then the dream takes an even worse twist. I suddenly discover that it is not the enemy but my own nation which has destroyed my life!” 

“Yes,” Joe interrupted. “That’s always the way of it with war. People make the enemy inhuman so they can justify killing them. In the end, everyone dies just the same. The only way to end war is to realize that we are all human; everyone has a friend, a brother, a mother, who will hurt when they die. Wars are not started by violence but by power, greed and delusion. They are not ended by violence but by looking honestly at the cost and finding another way.”

“So, how do I keep my family safe?” Donovan pleaded desperately.

“You work for peace,” Loid suggested.

“You love them every day you have them, in the way they can receive it best,” added Hob.

“You dream bigger, more complicated dreams than winning the war,” Dream declared.

“You work for change that grows slowly rather than laying waste to all before it,” Joe pronounced.

A loud shout of laughter interrupted them, and they turned to see Del, the children, and the dogs   heading in their direction. As they all tumbled to a stop by the bench, gasping for breath, Damian and Demetrius both started arguing, competing for their father’s attention. Donovan sternly held up his hand, and the boys came to an abrupt halt, standing straight and looking at their feet.

“What is all this?” he questioned, with a clear attempt to soften his harsh tone.

“Well it’s my fault,” Delirium twirled between him and the boys, “well, not really my fault. But I started it. Or Anya started it. Anyway it was about the butterflies. Well not really the butterflies, the butterflies are fine. It’s just that Anya wanted butterflies.”

“And I want some too!” Damian shouted.

“Butterflies are for sissies!” Balling his fists, Demetrius rounded on his brother. 

“Ah, I see the problem here.” Hob stepped calmly between the two boys, putting his hands gently on their shoulders. He saw Donovan taking mental notes and hoped he noticed the calm tone as well as the grounding physical touch.

“Donovan, I’d like you to meet my sister, Del. Del, this is Donovan, the boys’ father.” Del turned her head almost upside down and squinted at Donovan.

“He needs a butterfly too!” she declared.

“Della, that’s a beautiful name,” he mused. Was that the hint of a gentle smile, Hob wondered, shooting Dream one of those spousal telepathy glances that said, Let him have his little delusion, he doesn’t need the weight of Delirium’s full name today. Dream subsided, as he always did when Hob was right.

“Anya wants butterflies in her hair!” proclaimed Anya. “Hob had butterflies in his hair!”

“That’s right!” Hob regarded the touch starved young adolescent under his hand and wondered if a bit of rough housing would do him good. With an internal shrug, he took Demetrius’ feet out from under him and gently pinned him to the ground. “And I am a sissy” he glanced fondly at Dream, “but not that kind of sissy.” Demetrius’ jaw dropped in awe and Hob figured he was ready for a bit more of a lesson. “I don’t want you using that word as an insult again, okay, young man?”

“Okay!” Demetrius nodded eagerly. Hob let him up and brushed a piece of grass off his shoulder. 

“Good man. Now, who wants butterflies?”

Del brought her hands together and when she separated them a cloud of colourful butterflies rose into the air. She plucked them out of the air one by one and placed several on Anya’s head. Anya twisted and turned to try to see them and laughed with glee.

“Me! Me! I want a blue one! And a green one!” Damian danced in delight as Del placed them on his head.

“Pink for Hobsie again!” Del giggled as she placed a couple in Hob’s hair. 

“Oh, no,” Dream groaned, as she plucked a black one and headed for him. Glancing at Hob, then Demetrius, he bowed his head and accepted it gravely.

With a kiss on Joe’s forehead, she bestowed orange, yellow and red butterflies on his red hair and full beard. He beamed at her in open affection, then returned to doggy scritches.

Del tiptoed precariously around the water bowl Loid had filled for Bond, Barnabas and Damian’s dog, Max, and placed blue and yellow butterflies in his hair to match his socks.

“So many butterflies to pick and choose from, so many brothers and sons and fathers!” she prattled as she twirled back to Demetrius. “What colour for you? Salmon or coral or puce or teal?”

“What kind of colours are those?! Red! I just want red!” he decided hastily. Placing a red butterfly in his hair, she turned toward Donovan. Hob watched the emotions flicker over his face. Taken aback, first, at the thought of decorations in his hair, but then considering as he gazed at his two already adorned sons. A glimmer of affection, and then determination. 

“Red,” he announced, looking at Demetrius, his Firstborn Son who he’d been so terribly hard on; and then, turning to the son he hardly knew but who he suddenly saw was desperately seeking his attention, his Second Son, Damian, he declared, “and blue!” As Del crowned him with fluttering butterflies, he put a hand on each of his sons’ shoulders, just as Hob had done.

Previous: Come sit on my lap

First: Space Buns

[arian-archivist-11]

I love my mom so reaming the f slur and pretending that it's not a slur by making up a fake definition and claiming I shouldn't be affected because I'm not really gay.

Need her in a casket. The only thing keeping me from-[REDACTED]

[screamingsouls]

Welp, I just came out to my Bubbie, and damn, I have never been looked at with such disgust, like seriously, she was glaring and looking at me like I'm flith.

[pennyserenade]

my uncle died two years ago and one of the last memories i have of him was me telling him that i liked girls (and we were all various degrees of drunk when this happened, which i’m happy we did, and i’m really happy i told him that), and he responded that he had once sucked a man’s dick just to see what it was about and he was going to love me no matter who i loved. that happened the week before he died and i’ve not told it to anyone and no one knows except those of who were at that table that night. that perfectly captures who he was

[bobarodent]

Just learned from a buddy of mine (not lgbtqia+) that he outed me to his entire family when I wasn’t there. He doesn’t seem to understand why this is bad. Doing my best to try and handle it.

[sacha-da-1]

Maybe one day I will find peace….

[feluka]

-

[moththegremlinchild]

today is a weird day when i finally snapped at my father and decided to tell him everything i think about him and how much i hate him and how much his actions have affected me, also kinda came out as bi, really wild day.