#two kinds of lemon trees

[rawwithlove]

Just a few of my favorites in the garden lol the berries are doing OKAYISH. The peas are popping off lol the only problem is I don’t remember which ones are which anymore LMAO I believe there are also some cucumbers trying to grow in there but the ants never let us have any EVER. So, I'm don't wanna get my hopes up lol

I'm trying really hard to keep up with our garden this summer. Last year, I didn't water it enough :( Everything growing in this garden was either from scraps or on clearance from the store. My husband has a knack for bringing the dying plants back to life lol

[magnetothemagnificent]

Not "shake a lemon angrily at G-d" week, but rather;

Gather a citron, an ancient fruit predating the cultivation of lemon. Notice how it has a wonderful aroma, and consider how its flesh is edible. This represents the Jew who is both learned in Judaism and who exhibits kindness and good deeds.

Now gather the closed frond at the center of a palm tree. Consider how sweet the dates of the palm taste, but how the frond exhibits no strong smell like the citron. This represents the Jew who is learned in Judaism, but who does not practice the compassion in the many texts they studied.

Now gather at least three branches from a myrtle bush. Take in the refreshing scent oozing from the branches' thick leaves, but see how it does not bear fruit. This represents the Jew who is not learned in Judaism, but whose good character and actions are exceptional.

Finally, gather two branches from the somber willow. While mighty and enveloping, the willow exhibits no strong aroma, nor does it produce fruit. This represents the Jew who is neither learned in Judaism nor kind in character and deeds.

Appreciate the various textures and shapes of these four species. Feel the weight of them in your hand. Value how different in so many aspects each of them are.

Take them all in your hands, and bind them together like an embrace. Point them in all the corners of the earth- South, North, East, heavenward, downward, and West. Think of all your Jewish brethren scattered around the world, and bring your precious bundle back to your heart with every direction you send it to. Contemplate the place of every Jew in your community, the Etrog, the Lulav, the Hadas, and the Arava, for they all belong.

This is the meaning of Sukkot: coming back to our roots and our bare essence. Erect a temporary dwelling in reminiscence of your wandering ancestors. Come together under the stars, as exposed and unguarded as when we first walked the earth. Welcome guests into your makeshift home, be they family, friends, or the spirits of founding ancestors passed. Surround yourself in your community- and bring it all back to your heart.

[merakiui]

Hello! I'd like to place an order for a flower bouquet with banana pudding and lemon squares for guests Floyd and Jade Leech (together) please!

yandere!floyd leech x (gender neutral) reader x yandere!jade leech cw: yandere, nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, kidnapping, dub-con, implied loss of virginity, mentions of implied death/murder, jade and floyd's morbid back-and-forth banter note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]

You wake to the dreary interior of a stranger’s van, lying on your back with your wrists tied expertly above your head. There’s thick tape plastered over your mouth and it ensures you’re kept quiet. The only noise you manage to produce is a weak, muffled sob. Your struggle is brief and futile, for the restraints won’t budge no matter how hard you pull.

You realize, rather quickly, that your head is resting in someone’s lap. That same someone is currently peering down at you, his head tilted curiously. Two-toned eyes blink at you, shimmering with a childlike glee.

“Wakey, wakey, Li’l Shrimpy,” he sings.

Staring at him with wide, terrified eyes, you think you’ve just met the Devil. He senses your intent to escape before you can even act on it. Clicking his tongue, he wraps his arms around you and drags you into his lap, holding firm.

“No need to be scared. I’m not gonna hurt ya.” With a toothy grin, all sharp points flashing at you, he pokes your cheek. “Jade might.”

You’re made aware of the second man then. He turns around to greet you from the driver’s seat with a kind, close-lipped smile. He looks friendly enough, but there’s malice thinly veiled in those polite features of his. Both of them bear a striking resemblance to one another, but if you look close enough the differences begin to show through. Eye shape, the way the part in their hair sits, that stray dark strand… You look between the two of them, silently urging for an explanation.

Jade chuckles, feigning sheepishness. “I wouldn’t do anything without reason.”

“Hear that, Shrimpy? You’re in good hands. We just wanna play with ya for a bit.”

You shake your head, whining when his fingers stray too close to your throat. He pets you fondly, soaking in your terror like a parched plant. You squirm in his lap, inching as far from him as you can get, but he’s everywhere—clinging to you, his face in yours. He presses a wet kiss to your cheek. Revulsion shudders through you.

How did this happen?

You were on your way home from work when the van pulled up and the door opened. Arms shot out to drag you, kicking and thrashing, inside and then a rag was being held over your mouth. It wasn’t a far walk—safe by your standards! You’ve done it dozens of times prior.

So why now? And why you?

Lying there, perfectly at the mercy of two strangers, you wonder if it would’ve been any different if you knew them. Maybe then it would be easier to find some sort of crooked comfort in the midst of so much fear and uncertainty.

Jade slides out of the driver’s seat to join you and his brother in the back. You catch the scenery beyond the van during the slim second the door’s open. Trees reach towards a gloomy sky on all sides, tall, hulking pines that close you in with twin monsters. It’s isolated, the ideal location for something nefarious and foul. Your stomach churns, and suddenly you feel sick.

The door shuts, and the forest vanishes. Just like that. As if it was never there at all. As if someone’s turned the page in a novel and the landscape has fallen away to account for the next scene—one far more gruesome than the last.

His arrival has you pressing back against the other’s chest. In this enclosed space, both of them don’t seem to fit. It’s too compact to account for long, lanky limbs. For a short moment, you wonder if both of them are trees.

“Let’s take the tape off, shall we?”

“Ooh, good idea, Jade. I wanna hear Shrimpy’s voice.” In one hasty motion, the tape is ripped from your mouth. Stinging pain settles beneath your skin. You yelp.

“Now, Floyd, you’ll scare the poor thing to death if you handle them so harshly.” Jade’s words sound sympathetic, but his laughter dampens them with insincerity. 

“Oops. My bad.”

You open your mouth and then shut it. What can you say? What are you supposed to say?

More importantly, what won’t send you to your grave right away?

“I’m sorry. If I did anything to upset you, I’m sorry. So please don’t…”

“What’s there to apologize for?” Floyd grips your chin and turns you towards him. “You did nothin’ wrong.”

And that’s what’s so sickening about it. Not the leering or the kidnapping. Not the fact that they’ve trapped you here in the middle of nowhere, in a van that no one will ever find. It’s the unlucky innocence of it all—the fact that you are merely a victim of chance and nothing more. No grudges or revenge needed. No real motive. Just bad fortune.

Wrong place. Wrong time.

Looking into Floyd’s eyes, you can’t find a spot of remorse. You suspect it’s much the same for Jade, who tasks himself with untying the laces in your shoes and slowly slipping each off your feet. Floyd watches this with a lazy smirk.

“You ever think about gettin’ new shoes?”

“T-They’re my work shoes…”

“Yeah? Where do you work?”

You swallow thickly, helplessly gazing about the van. It’s messy, things strewn about in disarray. A blanket bunched haphazardly. Empty pill bottles. Candy wrappers. Old receipts. A first aid kit. A shrimp plush missing its eye. Despite all of this clutter, the interior smells eerily sterile. Fresh like mint. The juxtaposition tricks your nose and eyes terribly.

“An i-ice cream parlor…”

“Ooh. No wonder you smell so sweet.” Floyd pinches your cheek. “Don’tcha think Shrimpy smells yummy, Jade?”

“Quite yummy, Floyd.” He sets your shoes aside before turning back to you. Large hands run up the length of your legs. Even though you’re fully clothed, you’ve never felt more bare. “So much so I’m tempted to take a bite…”

You squeak when he squeezes your calves. A devious grin curls on his lips, revealing the beginnings of his pointed teeth. “A-Are you going to kill me?”

Jade hums, tilting his head as he pretends to mull it over. “What do you think, Floyd?”

“You wanna wind up another number on the news, Shrimpy? You think anyone’s gonna come lookin’ for you?”

“M-My family—”

“Will be very sad if they aren’t allowed the closure an open casket provides,” Jade finishes matter-of-factly.

Your heart plummets into your stomach at that implication. Biting back bile, you shrink away from both of them. They share a glance, giggling in unison.

“Poor Shrimpy, having to be pieced back together like a puzzle…”

“Stitched up like a patchwork quilt.”

“Mm, yeah, but that’s no fun. Shrimpy’s too cute to become chum. I don’t wanna put ’em in the ground.”

“I’m inclined to agree.” Jade’s fingers work to slide you from your pants. You fall still in Floyd’s arms, looking on in silent horror. He gazes at you. “Don’t look so devastated. We won’t kill you.”

The first tear slides down your cheek. Soundless. Alone. Floyd leans in to lap at the rest that follow, tracing a line up your face with his tongue.

“Aww. You went and made Shrimpy cry.”

“Have I?” Jade moves in to dab at the tears on your left side. Pressing his fingertips to his tongue, he smiles. “So it seems.”

Your shirt comes off next, slid up until it stops at your bound wrists. Floyd gets impatient halfway through and, seizing a blade from somewhere in the back, cuts you free of the pesky fabric. Much like your hope, it falls around you in tattered pieces.

It’s when you’re turned and pressed face-first into Floyd’s crotch that you begin to panic. Jade slides the knife through your underwear, peeling it away with a satisfied sigh. You writhe uncomfortably. Floyd’s fingers are in your hair next, holding you up just enough so that he can reach down to pull himself free from his sweatpants. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen a cock before. Thick and veiny, achingly hard with pre-cum beading at the tip, it terrifies you more than the slick fingers prodding at your hole from behind.

Floyd takes hold of his cock and taps it insistently against your cheek. “C’mon. Open wide.”

You watch him through your lashes, your lips pursed tightly. There really is no other way, is there? You’re trapped between the two of them, your life in their hands. Or, more fittingly, snapped up in their jaws.

“Please… D-Don’t make me…” you whisper, but it’s a pointless plea.

Floyd tuts, temper flaring. “Don’t make me shove it down your throat.”

Jade’s hand massages your cushy ass. It doesn’t do anything to comfort you. “Be gentle, Floyd. I suspect this is their first time.”

“Is it really?” His gaze flicks to your face, searching for an indication that Jade’s observations are true. An odd light sparks in empty eyes. “You’re a virgin?”

A cold sweat washes over you. Your heart won’t stop pounding. Blood is rushing in your ears, trickling through your veins and electrifying your nerves. It’s too loud. Too dizzying. You’ve never felt fear so raw and cloying before. It claws at your throat, setting it aflame. It flicks on your fight or flight. It brings with it the animalistic urge to survive. Above everything else, no matter what it reduces you to in the end, survive.

“W-Will you let me go?”

“So you can go cryin’ to the cops? Yeah, right.” He scoffs and pats your cheek. “Either answer my question or open up.”

“How does this sound?” Jade offers just as one lithe finger slips inside your hole. You wince and grit your teeth at the intrusion. He chuckles and, without warning, forces a second inside. “If you’re good, we’ll stop by the ice cream shop when it opens tomorrow and get you a milkshake.”

Floyd’s lips split apart in a cheesy smile. “Aren’t you a lucky Shrimpy? Jade likes ya.”

You crane your neck to look at him. He smiles sweetly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Every other part of him seems so receptive to you, but his eyes betray him. They’re just as cold and dull as his brother’s. You’re nothing more than a cut of meat—an offering to sate his appetite.

“It’s important to feed your pets. They’ll starve otherwise.”

“You just wanna get yourself a sundae.”

“That, too.”

“We might as well get somethin’ to eat if we’re gettin’ sweets. Shrimpy can pick the place. Bet they’ve got great taste.”

“A brilliant idea. I’d like to know what sort of cuisine they’re partial to.”

You’re not sure how they can carry on like this as if it’s normal. It’s gross. You feel like you might vomit.

Floyd’s cock prods at your lips. This time, throwing your dignity aside in order to survive, you open wide.

You’re not killed, but something in you dies inside that van.

[aether-bun]

Dating headcanons for dead plate Vince and rody??? (Seperate)

DEAD PLATE BOYFRIENDS!!

Ok. Ok. The chokehold these two have me in is something that needs to be studied actually. Utterly thrilled that I get to write for them. Thank you so much Anon.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Talks of aggression, NSFW if you squint

Reader is gender neutral ♡

VINCENT is subtly affectionate being your boyfriend.

I think it's obvious that Vincent is very cold, inside and out, even if it isn't intentional

Little does the outside world know, however, he's very affectionate with you!

Behind closed doors, he finds small ways to be in contact with you

Knees touching, pinkies grazing, shoulders bumping, the works

It's not that he's afraid or repulsed by full on affection, it's just more comfortable for him to act the way he does. It means he can recharge without being away from you, but without overwhelming himself

I think he's a very big fan of chaste kisses, or at least giving them. Whenever he receives such rushed notes of affection, he refuses to admit it, but it leaves him with a sense of yearning :(

Adores hand kisses holy shit

I like to hc that he has a little lemon tree somewhere that he takes care of with such enthusiasm it's wild

The one thing you can't touch in his apartment is that tree. Hard boundary.

When he comes upstairs after work, he's usually very tired

This means that you both tend to just quietly enjoy each other's presence until he falls asleep in bed

Some days he's REALLY tired.

One of the chefs fucked up a batch so badly that it pushed service back by an additional 40 minutes while he had someone run supplies

It cost him a lot. That chef was brutally torn into and promptly told to never come back. Very unprofessional, but no one would say much about it.

Very exhausting lesson in hiring better employees in Vince's eyes.

That night he just laid down on your thighs and ranted. He doesn't tend to talk much for too long out of personal preference but that night he couldn't shut himself up.

You just gently combed through his hair and listened

The sensations soothed him and he got over the anger fairly well

(now he lays on your thighs some nights just to score some extra nice attention)

Dates are always very lavish, it's his personal favourite thing to spoil you. He always has a hand on you during outings of any kind.

Will pull you closer if anyone stares at you.

Gentle with you, in every possible situation, but firm

He really just doesn't want anyone to hurt you, but on top of that, he couldn't bear the ache he'd feel to see you look at someone else the way you look at him

Slut for calling you "Mine". End of discussion.

RODY is hellbent on giving you the whole world.

Loves loves LOVES cuddles

You cannot get this man off of you he is so clingy

He wants what's best for you and more this man will break limbs for you

I will say you were probably originally going to be a rebound relationship

After Manon, he found you, but it had barely been a month and he was clearly desperate for love

He was honest about Manon and the recent breakup, and in turn, you were honest about your returned feelings for him, but you very firmly said he'd have to move on first

It took a long time. You waited.

When he did get better, you two hit it off! He cared for you and you looked out for him

Your dates are walks through the park, café breakfasts and movie nights

Rody is a big fan of kisses

He kisses you and you can feel his love pouring through them, he deepens the kisses like he's starved, even though you're more than affectionate with each other all the time

Service top or complete bottom. Not because he's dainty bc he definitely isn't. He just loves you so much he wants you to have everything. He lives to serve you at this point let's be so real

Learned how to budget for you!!!! Whoa!!!!!!!!

I think Rody dances with you all the time

Rain or shine, dawn or dusk, happy or sad, he finds it nice to dance with you

It calms him

He gives the BEST MASSAGES IDC

Butterfly kisses and nose kisses are this man's kryptonite. He will cry. He has before.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey!!!! Sorry for the random hiatus, life killed me a little, but I'm back and raring to go! Dragon Anon, if you're reading this, I am working on your req but I'm making sure I actually know the DLC this time so it's taking a while to get through the content. Bear with me!!!

Sorry if these were a little sloppy, getting back into writing is a lil difficult but I'm working as best I can. I hope you enjoyed, and remember to leave your requests in my inbox!

Ciao for now~

[cranberrymoons]

have a cup(cake) of cheer

prompt: cooking together (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: t word count: 668 tags: future fic, rockstar eddie/teacher steve, evil pta moms notes: this one is part of the future fic series! it stands alone, but just for context, corroded coffin exists and is very successful! steve is a teacher and they have four kids 🥰

welcome to Day 6 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

“Give me the –” Steve says, gesturing at the pastry bag on the counter. “The that.”

He pushes his glasses up the end of his nose with the back of his wrist and shakes his hair out of his eyes, frustrated and sticky and – Eddie glances up from where he’s diligently adding glitter sprinkle snow to the top of the iced cupcakes. He makes a face.

“You realize we could’ve just bought these,” he says under his breath as he hands it over. “No one would have even known.”

Steve lets out a hollow laugh. “You clearly haven’t met Jackie from the PTA.” He squeezes out a dollop of chocolate icing. “Sorry, Jaqueliiiine , even though everyone knows she’s not actually French. She’s from Texas.” He ices another cupcake. “Jackie from Texas who’s out to get me.”

“Baby, come on,” Eddie says. “I doubt she’s harboring some secret vendetta against you. You just don’t like her because she put you on ticket-taking duty at the start of year picnic.”

“She told me to buy the cupcakes,” Steve says. He widens his eyes. “Because she was – how did she put it – ‘just so concerned about how difficult it must be to manage a family and a career with a partner who’s always leaving on tour’.”

Eddie snorts. “I take it back,” he says. “She sucks.”

Steve looks up from his cupcakes. “Right? Thank you. Robin said I was overreacting.” 

He squeezes the pastry bag again with more force than necessary, and the icing comes out faster than he means for it to, drooping down over the sides of the cupcake.

“Does she realize who she’s dealing with?” Eddie asks, shooting Steve a sideways glance. “I mean, you’re not being nice to her, are you?”

“No, but I’m biding my time,” Steve says. He finishes with the tray he’s working on and sits back in his chair, watching Eddie work. “I just need to figure out how to hit her where it hurts.”

Eddie lets out a laugh as he pulls Steve’s tray of cupcakes toward himself to start adding sprinkles. 

“Run against her in the next board election,” he says. “That’d show her.”

And he sort of sounds like he’s joking, but Steve frowns as he turns it over in his mind, staring out the darkened window at the shadowy shape of the lemon tree in the backyard. He doesn’t know why he didn’t think of it first.

“That might actually work,” he says after a moment.

“I know,” Eddie says. He glances up, flashing a smile. “That’s why I said it.”

Steve gives his ankle a little kick under the table. “Don’t be a dick.” He squints. “Do you think I’d win?”

“You’re the only hot dad on the PTA, and you have a very famous rockstar for a husband,” Eddie says. “Just tell them you’ll get Coldplay to do the winter carnival next year or something. They’ll vote you in for sure.”

“Isn’t that kind of cheating?” And then, maybe more importantly because he doesn’t actually really care about being fair, “Can you actually get them to play?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffs. “They owe me a favor after that thing at the VMAs last year. This is worth cashing in for.”

“I love you,” Steve says. He hooks his foot around the back of Eddie’s ankle. “So fucking much.”

Eddie grins at him. “As if I’d let King Steve go down to Jackie from Texas without a fight.”

Steve laughs and reaches over to snag the over-iced cupcake. He peels off the paper and breaks it in two, taking a bite as he passes the other half to Eddie. 

“Jackie can suck it,” he says. “She doesn’t even know how to make her own cupcakes. Did you know she brought store bought ones to the Thanksgiving bake sale?”

Eddie looks genuinely scandalized as he takes a bite of his own cupcake half. “She didn’t.”

“She did,” Steve says. “And they weren’t even good ones.”

[also on ao3]

[ataraxiaspainting]

It's Cold Outside.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: A stranger has weaseled his way into every aspect of your life.

Warnings: Yandere themes, non-con/dub-con (the reader is under the influence of aphrodisiacs but non-consensually), the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectfully, threats of violence, stalking, manipulation, Chrollo the Creepster, and unhealthy relationships.

Word Count: 2.2k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

(You’re The) Devil in Disguise by Elvis Presley

Salvatore by Lana Del Ray

Who Is She? by I Monster

Kiss Of Fire by Georgia Gibbs

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde

4:00A.M. by Taeko Onuki

How I’d Kill by Cowboy Malfoy

Sonne by Rammstein

The Great Gig in the Sky by Pink Floyd

“I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from the Underground

*~*~*~*

i. “Technicolor worlds with white clouds are bound to be destroyed by silver snow.”

When you step into your house, it is like you are instantly transported back to a year ago. Everything in sight, from the walls to the shelves, has decorations of some kind, whether going all out with the kitchen table having an entire feast of delicious holiday treats made by your grandparents, or just a green and red painting of a Christmas tree placed in your older sister’s usually monochromatic room. Perhaps the painting is yet another way she proves that she can somewhat react well to requests to change her room a little bit. Even if the painting is on the farthest wall from the door and is partially hidden from view by the many anime figurines and books larger than your head. Your mother claims that it is a miracle she convinced her to put up any holiday decorations in her room at all and thus doesn’t bother her further. 

Each room also has a different festive scent, your younger sister’s room having a hot chocolate scent mixed with the smell of piled up dishes on her desk, most coming from when she was ‘helping’ your grandparents cook by ‘testing to make sure the food isn't poison’.

How heroic of her to sacrifice herself for the family.

Your room, you think, looks much better than your sisters’ combined, having decked it out to the maximum by taking out all of your Halloween decorations and replacing them with Christmas ones. It took you the whole weekend, sure, and caused you to break the bank, but your love for accessories outweighs your logic and reason by quite a lot. Your beloved record player is back on your table that also simultaneously houses your television and jewelry playing Elvis Presley’s Blue Christmas. A wreath larger than your torso is on your door and your room smells like all the holiday air fresheners you found in your closet. Pine, peppermint, orange, lemon, cranberry… all mix to make a beautiful festive scent unmatched by even your parents’ bedroom. Everything is how it should be, and how it always is every year.

Well, almost. A man named Chrollo, a man who gives you anything but comfort, has been invited to your family-only yearly Christmas party. When your father, who has always been too protective of you and your sisters and never lets you spend time with the opposite gender, told you that Chrollo of all people would be attending, you tried to argue otherwise. You tried telling him that none of you had known Chrollo for so long, but he had rebutted Chrollo’s lie that you had known him for over a year with you two developing a close bond. You realized it was too late then, and Chrollo had charmed your entire family, with even your older sister always having a smile on her face whenever she saw him at her workplace. 

ii. “Like actors, each snowflake has a different role to play. They sing along with every step of a boot as a deceitful way to express their pain.”

The moment the doorbell chimes, its piercing resonance assaults your eardrums and causes an unsettling shiver to course through your spine.

You find yourself in an unsettling situation as your family eagerly awaits, and to your dismay, you are the designated individual tasked with the responsibility of opening the door. You two are such good friends, aren’t you? We wouldn’t want to get in the way of your bonding time.

You want to say he is lying, to tell them everything, every threat he has told you, him meaning them or otherwise. But as soon as they know of what Chrollo really and truly is, they will meet a painful end; that being pushed onto train tracks, their drink being laced with a poison that destroys the body from the inside out, or having nails thrusted into their bloody palms as they hang on their bedroom wall as you look in horror. Elton, Anya, and Robert all being examples of such… You don’t want to think of the bodies just waiting to rot around the Riverbend, your fault or otherwise.

You also don’t want to drown in this river. A river inhospitable to any aquatic life whatsoever, and only harbors a barrier of carnivorous plants that eat those who dare come close. Butterworts, large lilac purple ones that feel like they have been dipped in the most tempting butter mixed with forbidden fruit and honey produced by none other than the queen bee herself. Are you the fly, or are they? You have no idea, and you don’t want to find out.

“Hello.” Your response is concise and devoid of warmth, with a noticeable absence of your usual cheerful demeanor evident in your expression and tone.

Chrollo's smile is so sinister that even the most depraved devil's grin would pale in comparison, with all the large gift bags behind him swinging like a tail.

“Ah, [First]. Happy holidays. No need to be so cold, you know. The snow is already doing that for you. So-”

Despite your strong desire to slam the door in his face, you choose to step aside and allow him entry, in an attempt to silence him.

“Put the gifts by the tree by the kitchen table. The white table and not the black one.”

However, rather than fulfilling your expectations, all he does is elicit a burst of laughter so unique that it resonates within you, while discreetly handing over the most colossal gift bag, compelling you to accept it as if under some intangible force.

“Just a little something. I know it’s customary to wait until later but… I simply can’t help myself. Open it whenever you get the chance, dearest.”

…He means right now, in your room, doesn’t he? Perhaps he installed a camera in your room as you slept, he has certainly threatened to do that before. Or maybe he will just spy on you through the little space between the door and the frame. He has done that before, after all. 

…

You resisted the urge to scream when you saw a picture of your mother sleeping blissfully, the camera focused on her ring finger with the caption Should I take another souvenir? written on it, but the card, as beautiful as it appeared with a lace envelope and your name written in script on the card’s cover above Chrollo’s, proved to be even more of a challenge. When you read the words on it, your heart plunges so deeply that you fear your gastric acid will erode it.

Save your tears. For even if you cry to the whole world, it will never be enough to make me disappear. Meet me outside in five minutes, and make whatever excuse you deem necessary. No exceptions.

As you begin to read further, a wave of fragrant and delicate floral scents envelops your senses, instantly igniting a warm sensation in your head, leaving no time for contemplation.

Trying to ignore your slight dizziness, you read the rest of the card.

Just a little something to make sure you do this. We wouldn’t want your family to see you in… what state you are about to be in, do we?

…Just what did he do to you?

iii. “With the burden of wintertime ending, nature spends time creating beautiful trees and flowers. To accompany them, she makes twisted vines and weeds, for she knows that without them there cannot be balance or purpose in being comfortably numb.”

You were on your back, on his bed, within what felt like one second, not remembering the car ride over to his place, your wrists pinned beneath the strength of one of Chrollo's hands while he looked down at you within another, his other undoing the tie of the bandana on his forehead and showing you, for the very first time, of the cross tattoo underneath it.

All you can do is watch your whole world slow down and be replaced by a dream.

A blissful and sweet dream, as sugary as saccharine and as dissolvable as cotton candy, that is a veil and covers your eyes from what is happening; until it is too late, until you feel some of his fingers go into the band of your skirt and start pulling and pulling, downward, and that is when terror went to combat with your unwanted lust.

“...What… are… you… doing…? Chroooooo…” Your words slur as your mind buzzes with euphoria, and you can feel every sensation in vivid detail, every touch and every breath feeling heightening and intoxicating. As much as you want to, you can’t tell him to stop, not now.

“Shh, it’s what you want, isn’t it?” At least that is what you think he said, because as Chrollo spoke, you struggled to decipher his words amidst the haze that enveloped your mind. Reality fragments, leaving you unable to muster the strength to plead for him to cease. “It will feel oh so very good, I promise. Very, very nice and very, very good.” With that, you come to realize the wetness between your rubbing thighs, amidst the cloudiness and the larger-than-life headache that rips your skull apart. “Do you trust me?” The voice sounds almost heartfelt, not as intimate as it could be, but it was still more than enough for your hands to cling to him and pull him in closer, faster, so he could relieve you of this hell. “I will assume that that is a yes.” His hands move to the two buttons on your blouse, undoing them with ease, softly, gently, like it was a baby bird. 

“Faster… faster…!” You feel like a man who hasn’t seen water on any day of their life, and if you lose the location of the oasis you are sure to never find it again. 

Like a man lost in the desert, you choke on imaginary quicksand, soon to drown if water does not save you.

“Aw, such a precious little thing, aren’t you?” You are gently flipped over in an instant and he unbuckles your bra, quickly. 

“If you love me… really love me… make me feel better… please.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” He flips you over again and his fingers lower to your panties, pulling them down from your trembling legs, just like he did with your skirt. “You trust me after all, don’t you?”

You cry out yes after utterly desperate yes, as he watches, his smile getting wider as he starts undoing his belt. He puts a finger on your lips after he has heard enough, shushing you gently.   

“Then trust me when I say that this, my dear, is for your own good.”

Beneath the surface, whether it be shallow or not, you have no desire to comprehend his intentions.

You don’t want to know. You just want this to go away.

iv. “Through discoveries, there is a hint of madness that enters our minds. Only then can we see our world’s colors change from squid ink and bone to begonias and finches.”

Chrollo undoes his belt, then his pants, and then his boxers. You focus on his face to ignore what is currently nearly touching the side of the mattress by a hair or two, hard and enlarged and slightly pink and-

He takes off his shirt button after button, much, much, much slower than how he took off the rest of his clothing. There exists a deep-seated anger within you, yet it is accompanied by a sense of gratitude, as both you and he are aware of your mutual aversion towards this situation.

Despite both of you being aware that this is not your desired outcome, he still kisses you, gently, full of warmth, and tenderly. What you truly desire is to satisfy the ache within you. But he won’t give it to you yet, will he?

Time seems to drag on as his kisses get faster, and more hungry, with his tongue essentially becoming another of your muscles, wet, and neither wanted nor unwanted. 

Eventually, you get what you want, after enough begging for him to just get it over with. At the beginning, there is a gentle caress resembling a warm and velvety rose petal. However, as time progresses, the touch becomes increasingly forceful until his fingers enter. But it does not hurt. Should you be thankful for that? At least he is being nice.

He starts thrusting, and that also does not hurt. No soreness. You won't feel any discomfort until your eyes meet, causing a sensation that almost makes you want to throw up, were it not for the illicit satisfaction this dreadful encounter brings. It's a peculiar kind of pain, one that lingers like a ghost stealthily gliding through walls, catching you off guard before you can comprehend its presence.

Nothing hurts, and that in of itself gives you the most pain anyone could imagine. 

v. “Heat lightning gives way to summer storms and verdant wind. This makes for a hauntingly beautiful melody of ripples and thunder.”

“…And this maiden, she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me.”

vi. “The dead, fallen leaves of autumn come in many shades from bright red to a dull brown. They flow with the wind from one place to the next as invitations from those who passed on to the living.”

[whorekneecentral]

The Smell Of The Holidays

Kostas Tsimikas x Fem!Reader

Warnings: friendly neighbourly chats, sweet moments with kos and his puppies, a heartfelt thank you, a little crush from kos's end, some tattoo exploring, sexual tension, it's giving sub!kostas for a minute there, thigh riding - it's more dry humping than thigh riding but I digress, oral (f!receiving), 0.2 seconds of fingering, finger sucking, penetrative sex (p in v), creampie.

Word Count: 3,565

Author's Note: I think this is my favourite and the longest fic so far. dedicated to the president of the kostas fan club, miss ivy @curiousthyme <333

merry smutmas series

--

You over baked for your niece’s holiday bake sale so you do the neighbourly thing and share with your neighbour, Kostas and his two puppies.

Your brother was a single father, he’s a busy guy that he works long hours and you help out with your niece in whatever way you can. Your brother can’t bake to save his life so when she comes home saying she needs treats for the bake sale, he calls you.

You were baking treats for her holiday bake sale; cupcakes, cookies, brownies, lemon bars - you name it, you baked it.

The bake sale was for the whole school, they were raising money for a charity who helped underfund kids, or something along the lines. With your niece's missing tooth, she didn't annunciate the best.

You have been baking all day and it wasn't until you turned around to set the final tray of cookies down that you realized you had run out of counter, dining room, coffee table and couch space. The cooled and frosted cookies, brownies and cupcakes were sitting on the couches in their trays, the ones that were needing to be frosted were on the tables and you had the hot pans on your counters.

Carefully, you shifted a few things around to set the hot pan down, leaving it to cool.

Your hands on your hips, you looked around; you've baked yourself into a conundrum.

It wasn't until you heard the barking next door that you realized what you could do with all of the extra treats that you were baked. You finished frosting the last of what needed to be frosted before packing them away neatly into their trays and loading them into your car.

You went back inside and picked up a small tray that you had set aside specifically for your next door neighbour, Kostas.

He was kind and sweet and kept to himself most of the time. He had two puppies, who weren't really puppies but you addressed them as such; Maui and Fuerte. Kostas wasn't home much as he was very busy with his job but every now and then you'll see him in his backyard with his dogs, training or swimming laps or whatever it is that he does out there.

It's a neighbourly hello and a few tummy rubs for the puppies before you head out and go about your day.

You balance the tray with one arm, setting the majority of its weight against your jutted out hip. You knock on the door and wait for someone to answer. There's some barking before the door opens, you can hear Kostas shooing the puppies away to stop them from coming out.

Behind him, you can see into the living room; a massive tree stood tall in the centre by the window, ornaments hung plentiful along the green branches. There's a few other Christmas-related things around the entryway.

"Hey!" He smiles, black sweatpants hanging low on his hips and a white vest that clung to his chest in all the right places; you scolded yourself for gawking at him. "Y/n, right?" He points to you with his finger.

"Yeah," you smiled at him, "I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Not at all," he shakes his head, shifting to stop the dog you know as Maui from coming outside. She poked her head between his legs, looking up at you curiously. "What's up?" He asks, watching as you look lovingly at his puppy.

"My niece is having a bake sale at school and asked me to bake some treats for her and the thing is, I went a little overboard." You laughed. "I realized I made too much, and I figured I would do the neighbourly thing and bring some over for you."

"Oh," he smiles at you, taking the tray that was heavier than it looked from you. "Thank you very much, I was wondering if someone opened a bakery around here. I've been smelling it since this morning."

A soft laugh slipped past your lips as you shrugged. "It got hot with the oven running so I opened the window."

Kostas nods, shifting his leg a bit as Maui tries to wiggle her head away from his legs. You smiled at the dog, peeking over Kostas's left shoulder to see her tugging on a toy with Fuerte.

"The ones with the frosting on it aren't puppy friendly but I put some in there that don't have frosting so you could share with them. There's also a few brownies and other things, I wasn't sure what you like, so I tried to put a mix of everything."

Kostas nods, thinking to himself that it was very sweet of you to consider his puppies when packing the tray. "Was that intentional? You know, catering to the puppies ?"

"Yes but also no. I did intentionally not put frosting on some of them for the pups, but you know kids and their allergies, all the ingredients are safe for the puppies. I made sure to double check."

"Thank you, y/n. I really appreciate it - we're gonna be eating these for the rest of the week." He says, glancing down at the tray. "Would you like to come in?" He steps to the side a bit, and as much as you want to say yes, you don't.

"Unfortunately, I have to get treats over to my brother's house so perhaps another time?" You looked at him, hoping for a yes to your rain check.

"Definitely," he nods. "Thank you again."

"Anytime!" You skipped down the pathway, giggling like a teenager with a crush. Kostas watched from his front door, smiling at you. "Have a good day, y/n!" He calls after you.

"You too, Kos!"

The nickname was something he heard often, mostly from his teammates, but it was the way you said it that made him blush and almost giggled like a school boy with a crush.

Kostas shut the front door and set the tray on his dining room table. As he takes the tinfoil off the top, all he can think about is what he can do to find himself in your presence yet again.

---

A few have gone by since you dropped in at Kostas's place and you had only seen him in passing since then.

You had successfully dropped off the treats for your niece and she called you to let you know that they were a hit. You had gone about your week as normal, tidying up and getting your place ready for the holiday season.

There was a knock on your door, you're a bit confused seeing that you weren't expecting anything or anyone, but you wiped your hands on the side of your shorts and found your way to the front door.

Much to your surprise, it was Kostas at the door; a pleasant surprise that is.

There's a rectangular box in his hand and an envelope on top. One hand on the bottom, and one hand on top to keep them in place as he smiles at you. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course." You nod, stepping aside to let the man in. "I'm sorry about the mess, I was in the middle of tidying up."

Kostas nods as he glances around, trying to spot what mess you were talking about. The entire house looked as if it had been staged, not a single thing out of place.

And you have carefully thought out where to place your Christmas decorations, and Kostas noticed that. Your tree sitting in your living room in a spot that commanded attention, garlands wrapped around all of the railings and ornaments hung on all of the branches. All topped off with a pretty red and green wreath on your front door.

"Where are the babies?" You asked him, shutting the front door as he took his shoes off. "Groomers, sent them to get their holiday clean up. I can't stay long, I just wanted to drop this off." He smiles, following you to the kitchen.

Kostas sets the box on the table, handing the envelope over to you.

"For me?" You asked, taking it hesitantly. "I hope this isn't payment for the stuff I dropped off, because if it is-" "No," he shook his head with a smile, "just a thank you."

You carefully open the envelope, taking a sheet of paper out of it, and unfolding it. There's a few flowers painted across the piece of paper, it was clear that he used the puppies' paws to make the petals of the flowers. Some scrawled handwriting which you assumed belonged to Kostas was in the middle of the page; thank you miss y/n.

"Tell Maui and Fuerte I love their picture," you smiled at him, sticking the page on your fridge with a magnet.

Kostas smiles, watching you. "I'll let them know they made it onto the fridge as well." He joked, watching as you straightened the paper and stuck another magnet on there to keep it up.

You walk over to the table, standing in front of Kostas who's now made himself comfortable in your space. "What's this?"

"A thank you from me, I'm not as artistically skilled as my puppies."

You smiled, opening the box to find a chocolate cake. The brown frosting covered the majority of it, there are a few green and red decorations around the border, resembling mistletoe.

"You didn't have to do all this," you tell him, walking over to get a knife and two plates, as well as forks.

"It's the least I could do." He watches as you cut into the cake, handing a piece over to him. "I took some of the treats into work, the boys say I should've given you more than just a cake." He chuckles, taking a bite as you shut the box.

You nod towards the couch, and Kostas picks up his slice of cake following you, and the two of you sit in comfortable silence. The now empty plates sat on the coffee table as you rambled on about something your niece had told you about the bake sale.

Kostas listened intently, but his eyes wandered. Your shorts and hiked up a bit when you dropped yourself on the couch. You noticed his staring, not mentioning anything but you knew he wasn't fully listening. You pull the hem of your shorts, fixing it back to its original length. Kostas noticed and glanced up at you, his cheeks flustered and red.

"Sorry," he whispers, blushing like a school boy with a crush.

"I don't mind," you whisper.

Kostas hums, his eyes wandering over your legs yet again. He can't help but notice the colourful ink peeking out from under the hem of your shorts. "You have tattoos?"

"A tattoo," you correct him, pulling the hem of your shorts up and over your hip.

Kostas's eyes follow the design from the top of your thigh to just over your hip bone. There's a vine with a trail of flowers scattered along it; roses, lilies, daisies, wild flowers, any and everything in between. There's a lot of intricate details, the lines carefully placed to make it look cohesive and the colours of the flowers complimenting each other.

He hums in appreciation, stopping himself from reaching out to touch it. "It's beautiful." He smiles, glancing up at you. "Is it the only one you have?"

You nodded, laughing. "I was 19.. and drunk."

"You went big for your first time," his eyes meet yours and you can't help but feel that his words have a double meaning.

You shrugged, slouching back in your seat. Your leg crossed over the other and your shorts hiked up a bit more, showing off a few inches of your skin that Kostas was begging to put his hands on.

"Most people say you get addicted, but I just did the one and done."

He hums, gesturing to his arms that were covered in various designs and words. "Case in point."

"Just your arms or you've got more?"

Kostas nods, "my left leg and my ribs, and behind my neck." He lifted his shirt a bit to show you the tattoo on the left side of his ribs - an intricate portrait of what looked to be Adam and God.

Hesitantly, your fingers reached out and traced the shape of the tattoo. Kostas's eyes trailed from your face down to your hand and to your fingers, watching as you carefully outlined the ink along his skin.

"Beautiful," you mumbled and Kostas's cheeks flushed red, watching as you slowly moved your hand away.

He knew you were talking about the tattoo and yet he blushed, as if you had called him beautiful - but in a way, you did. And you meant it.

"Maybe I'll get another one, something small." You tell him and Kostas nods, offering to take you to his guy. Always the first one to offer up help and advice, he can hear Thiago's words in his head.

You look down at his leg, he was in shorts despite the cold winter air that nipped at you any time you opened the door - he had run over from his place after dropping the puppies off. You can see the lower half of his leg, the delicate shading and line work made up a stunning tattoo along his leg, the ink on his thigh peeked out from under the hem of his shorts.

"What's under there?" You nod and Kos's brows furrowed, looking at you for an explanation. "Under where?" He asks, making you giggle. It took him a second to realize why you were giggling but then he too, began to laugh.

You shook your head, "I meant your thigh, what's on your thigh?"

Kostas lets out a sound of understanding, shifting to pull the leg of his shorts up so you could see the tattoo. There's a massive portrait of a lion roaring, it didn't seem like Kostas's taste in tattoos but at the same time, it fit him to a T.

He nervously bites at his bottom lip as your hand rests on his knee, carefully slides up to his thigh. "Is this okay?" You whispered, glancing at him. Kostas nods, not sure if he remembers how to speak or even breathe - it feels as if you had taken all the air out of his body.

Your hand slips further up, leaning into the man in front of you. Kostas glances at your lips, your eyes and back to your lips. He sees your tongue wet your bottom lip, pressing them together.

Just as you were about to speak, Kostas beat you to it; "can I kiss you?"

You smile, "I thought you'd never ask."

His hand reaches for your jaw, holding it gently as if you'd break. Kostas brushes his thumb over your cheek, smiling at you sweetly before closing the gap between the two of you.

It was something out of a movie, you had never felt this way about anyone before. It just made sense; you fit against him as if you were meant to be there all along.

Kostas must have had the same thought, pulling you over and onto his lap, letting you straddle him. His hand slips down your side, resting on your hip. "You're so beautiful."

You can't help the blush on your cheek, you lean down to kiss him once again. You can feel his shorts rubbing along your inner thighs as he pulls you to him, trying to have you as close to him as possible. A hand on his shoulder, rolling your hips slightly to test the waters.

He seems to have gotten the idea; lifting his leg to give you more leverage. Your thighs are slotting either side of his, Kostas's hand rests on your hip, lazily brushing his thumb over your hip bone. He watches closely, listening to every little sound that slips past your lips.

"Kos," you mumbles, and the man perks up. "What is it, love?"

"Want you."

The words barely leave your lips and you're being flipped over, flat on your back before he pulls you by your legs, re-situating you to his liking.

Kostas is careful, pulling your shorts and panties off - they're tossed somewhere behind you. It's an issue for later. He kisses up from your calf, letting your legs rest over his shoulders. He's gentle, calculated - as if he knew exactly what to do, as if he had done it before.

Thighs on either side of his head, you weren't fully against his face but Kostas's hands grip the back of your thighs, pulling you further down. He glances up at you, a wicked smile on his face. "Is this okay?" He whispers into your skin, moving closer to exactly where you wanted him.

You nod, "please." The word comes out a bit more desperate sounding than you'd like but you could care less. You needed him - in every single way.

His hands rested on the back of your thigh, pulling you down flat against his face, his tongue pressed against your slit. 

Your body juts forwards - not only from the pulling but from the feeling of his tongue on you. Reaching forward, your manicured fingers tangle in his hair.

Kos' tongue curled upwards, brushing against your clit and you tug on his hair, something incoherent meets his ears - partly because he was focused on what he was doing but also because your thighs were squishing his face. 

He didn’t care. 

He loved it. 

A soft groan leaves his lips when you tug on his hair, trying to move him a certain way. “That- oh!” Your chest heaves, tugging on his hair to get him to do that again. 

His grip on your thighs would leave marks as would the stubble scratching along the inside of your thighs. He rocked you a bit, pulling you closer as his nose brushed against your clit, his tongue moving down to lap over your cunt.

Kostas glances up, his tongue on your clit and he can’t help but admire the view above him. Your chest heaving, tits spilling out over the black lace over your chest, your head tossed back and eyes fluttering closed as his name falls from your lips like a prayer.

He lets you pull him closer, his nose brushing your clit, replacing his tongue as he moves it elsewhere, his fingers pushing into you slowly. He sits up a bit, fingers curling and pumping in you, your eyes still closed.

His free hand reaches up to hold your jaw, pulling your focus to him. “You’re perfect, did you know that?” He asks and you can barely focus enough to grasp the words he was saying, let alone give him an answer.

“Need you,” you mumble.

“What do you need?” He asks.

“Need you.” You say once more.

He hums, he knows he’s not gonna get much more of an answer from you, he just had to give you what you wanted and Kostas knew exactly what you wanted.

You whimper at the loss of his fingers but passes his fingers over your lips, letting you suck on them for a moment as he shuffles his pants down.

Both of you let out a satisfied sigh when he pushes onto you, your leg pulled up onto his hip and he leans over you. His lips brushes against yours,

Kostas's cock twitches when you clench around him, “oh fuck,” he breathes, forehead against yours. “This pussy was made just for me, hm? Take me so well, my pretty girl.”

He pushes the straps off your shoulders, tits spilling out over the top of the bra. He glances down, letting you wrap your legs around his waist and he leans down to kiss you once more, leaving a trial of marks and sloppy kisses until he reaches your tits.

There’s a faint purple mark between your tits; his new favourite spot.

“You're so pretty like this,” he says, your hips buck, wanting more from him. He can feel you clench around his cock. “Fuck, gonna make me cum, darling.”

“Kos.. please.” You breathe, and he gives in, he can’t help himself; you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. “Want you to fuck me full,” you whisper to him. He shuffles a bit, pulling both of your legs over his shoulders.

The change in position does it; his thrusts sloppy, signalling that he too was close. You feel Kostas cum, your legs dropping off his shoulders as you do.

He's still buried in you when he drops down onto you, landing with an oof. You let out a giggle, your hand passing through his messy hair as he peppers kisses along your shoulder.

The two of you lay there for a while, basking in each other's company and the silence. It hits you; "Kos?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you supposed to go get the puppies?"

"Oh crap!" He's pulling himself up, hurrying to get dressed. You take that as your cue to get redressed as well. You figured you'd see him again at some point, not expecting him to grab your hand. "Do you wanna come with me?" He asks, walking with you to the front door.

"Isn't it too early to introduce me to the kids?" You joked, already grabbing your hoodie.

Kostas smiles, "they love you, and.."

"Yeah, same." You smile, the words left unsaid for another time.

---

taglist: @nosugarallspice  @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16  @books-and-netflix-pls  @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade  @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @trentsfav @trentsmyfave @noturbabe22

[1d1195]

The Balcony Extra I

You can read the rest here: The Balcony

~2.2k words

This is the last update from the last round of voting. I'll have a new round of voting posted soon. I have some really fun ideas for the next set :)

Warnings: vomit/sick (it's not described, more so mentioned. But just to be sure.) I promise it's really not going to continue to be a theme with my writing. I just didn't know what to do with them tbh. I hope you enjoy--particularly this sweet anon who thought about them two years after I first wrote about them 😭💕

It was overwhelming and Harry swallowed watching as she mopped up his mess. He wanted to scoop her up and put tuck her into bed like the day he burst into the very apartment they were in now protecting her from her ex.

The balcony was still their favorite spot. Now that Harry had moved into her apartment officially, they only had one. There was something about having two, the will-they-won’t-they kind of vibe. When they shared Chinese food across the slatted posts or when she straddled the rail to get back into her place when Harry got home late. There were so many pieces that felt like they were missing now that they only had one. They put plants on tall tables (even a small lemon tree) to make a wall for their new neighbors.

They were squished when they were out there, two little seats and their space heater along with all the plants made for very little room. It was cozy and they loved it, but it was different. Working from home was different. Everything was different. Good. Perfect, even. But different.

It had been three years of their routines and schedules. Interrupted by weekend getaways, work trips, girl’s nights out, and family holidays. The sex was incredible as that very first time. She still did chores in an oversized shirt that barely covered her underwear. So, chores took twice as long when Harry noticed because he reminisced and thought back to the days when he was falling for her from afar (even if afar was just one little half wall between them).

Harry returned from the office and found her laptop open on the island while she continued cooking. She had been fighting a stomach bug, so it was good to see her cooking. Soup by the looks of it. Something so as not to upset her further.

“Hey kitten,” he called gently putting his keys on the table by the door and slipping his shoes off.

“Hi, Harry,” she sounded so sweet, so smiley. It was his favorite way to be greeted. “Sorry, guys, it’s dinner time,” she told her laptop. Harry blushed, feeling bad he interrupted her call unbeknownst to him and that he called her kitten in front of her students. “Check out the notes on Blackboard.”

Sorry! He mouthed.

She shook her head easily with a smile. She said her final goodbyes to the people on screen. Once her laptop was shut, he felt relief that he could freely chat with her. “I had extra office hours because I’ve been sick and out for the count,” she explained and turned back to the stove. “I told them I had to make something to eat at the same time or I would die so they also got my cooking show in addition to math help.”

Harry looked at the face of their fridge with a dry erase marker filling the silvery complexion with complicated equations that he didn’t understand. He snorted and she smiled shyly. “Sorry, I’ll clean it.”

“Don’t,” he shook his head. “S’cute,” he assured her. It was. The way her brain worked, even thinking to draw on the fridge was adorable. It was so cute Harry wanted nothing more than to frame the door of the appliance and put it in the living room. He put his lunch Tupperware in the sink and turned back to her stirring the soup. “Y’okay?” He asked.

“Yup, only threw up once since this morning,” she sighed and shook her head. “I hope you don’t get sick.”

Harry didn’t even feel an inkling of feeling unwell. They had eaten the same foods for the last few days, so food poisoning didn’t seem suspicious either. “I think I’ll be alright,” he cupped her face and pressed his lips on her forehead. She didn’t feel warm or clammy. “Y’feel cool,” he murmured turning to the fridge and filled his water bottle from the spout.

She shook her head returning to stir the soothing mixture on the stove. “It’s so weird. I don’t feel sick until I’m actively sick, you know?” She shrugged. “Oh, well.”

It was hard to believe that two heavily educated people didn’t figure it out sooner. But the moment it popped into his head Harry gasped. He dropped his bottle, and the ice and water covered his socked feet. “Shit,” he whispered.

“I got it!” She hurried to the closet with their cleaning supplies. Harry picked up the ice cubes and tossed them into the sink. When she returned with the mop, Harry was staring at her. Like he had never seen her before. It wasn’t earthshattering for her. This moment. The moment he realized. It didn’t matter. He would have it for himself. This perfect, beautiful girl that he was so lucky to know...

So lucky to live with and be with and to have her worry about him.

It was overwhelming and Harry swallowed watching as she mopped up his mess. He wanted to scoop her up and put tuck her into bed like the day he burst into the very apartment they were in now protecting her from her ex.

He tried to refill the bottle, but he nearly overfilled it again, his hand getting wet. “You sure you’re not getting sick?” She asked dragging the mop over his feet playfully at the second, minor spill. He shook his head, swallowed.

“No, sorry. Distracted.”

“I got dinner covered, you can go lounge if you want,” she smiled sweetly. “I was laying down most of the day. I feel like a bum. I was thinking about going to the gym after I eat just to feel productive.”

Harry shook his head. He didn’t want her lifting anything, didn’t want her running on the treadmill, or stepping on the stepper. “Y’don’t need to, kitten. M’jus...” he trailed off. He didn’t know if he was right, it was an assumption. “Jus’ a little tired. But y’should sit,” he suggested. “Y’don’t feel well.”

She shrugged. “I feel alright now. I feel lazy.” Harry didn’t want to tell her that growing another human inside her was the least lazy thing she could do. As far as he was concerned, she could do nothing for the next nine months. His eyes dropped to her stomach briefly, like it would suddenly round with the baby he suspected was forming. She didn’t notice.

He was adamant. “Y’not lazy,” he assured her. “Why don’t—”

“Here taste this,” she held a spoonful of the soup out. “Does it need more salt?” She asked. With his gaze locked on her eyes, he let her feed him.

“S’good,” he promised.

She tilted her head at him. Her eyebrows pinching together. “You sure you’re okay?” She repeated.

He nodded. Trying to remember everything about the moment. She didn’t know, he did. It was surreal. There was going to be a little one that looked like him, looked like her. They were going to be parents and she didn’t even know. “M’okay.”

She shrugged and grabbed two bowls out of the cabinet and then returned the broom to the closet. Harry grabbed the edges of the island counter and took a deep breath. They would have to abandon the apartment. The balcony. It was going to be hard, but it would be so worth it.

How did she not know?

When she returned, she ladled soup into the bowls and handed Harry his before she situated herself on the stool behind the sink. “Do we have any plans this weekend?”

Making a baby registry? Telling his mum? Finding a house and decorating a nursery? “Nothing comes t’mind, kitten,” he murmured sitting beside her.

“Louis was wondering. He wants to go out and drink or something.”

“Uh...” he swallowed. “M’not really in a drinking mood.”

“You’re not in a drinking mood?” She repeated. “You know you’re not going to be in a drinking mood three days from now?” She asked. “Harry,” she rolled her eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He took a deep breath and turned to her. “Do y’think y’might be pregnant?” He asked.

She dropped her spoon back into her soup and spun to face him as well. Their knees bumped together. “Am I what?”

“Well...y’don’t feel well. But only when y’actively don’t feel well. Then...I don’t remember y’having bad cramps since June,” he reminded her. It was over two months ago. “I don’t feel sick,” he told her.

He watched her pretty face and now wild eyes process all Harry’s logical assumptions. She jumped from the stool and ran to the bathroom slamming the door shut. He followed her immediately. Knocked gently. “Kitten?” He asked nervously. “Are y’okay?”

She didn’t answer.

“Kitten?” He repeated knocking again. He hadn’t anticipated a negative reaction. She wanted kids. They both did. They talked about it many times over. “Baby?” He hummed. “Can y’tell me if y’okay? Need something?”

“I just...” she sounded scared. “I just need a minute.”

“Okay, okay,” he nodded; nerves made sense. “Are you alright?”

She didn’t respond for a moment. “I don’t know.”

“Can you open the door?” His voice started to hitch, worry plaguing him immediately. Poor thing.

“I’m peeing on a stick, Harry. Please just...” she sighed. Frustration was heavy in her tone. He was surprised she already had a pregnancy test there. He would have to ask about that later.

“Kitten,” he gently tried the door, but it was locked. “What’s—”

“Harry, I just need a minute!”

He stepped back from the door and leaned against the opposite wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited silently. He heard her sigh repeatedly. The shuffle of her perhaps pacing the small bathroom floor. The sound of the toilet flushing. More moments that he would memorize for eternity.

The three minutes felt like hours. He wanted to see her, wanted to know what was wrong. A timer went off from inside the bathroom. He pushed off the wall and she opened the door holding the plastic stick out to him. “I can’t look.”

“Kitten,” he frowned grabbing it from her and sticking it in his pants pocket without looking. “What’s wrong?” Harry was still in his suit pants. No jacket. The sleeves rolled to his elbows. He was so pretty. It was unfair. She kept her eyes at his feet. Still damp from his water spill.

“You have to look,” she whispered.

“I will, but y’have t’tell me what’s wrong, kitten. Y’making me nervous.”

“We’d have to move,” tears welled in her eyes.

“So?”

“So?” She sniffed. “This is where we fell in love. It’s where we had sex for the first time. That balcony is more important to me than the entire square footage of this place in total.”

“Kitten,” he frowned.

“Don’t you care—”

“Baby,” he shook his head. Before she could finish her question, he pulled her toward him. He was gentle as he squeezed her, fearful of the baby being squished between them. “Of course I care ‘bout that.”

“Then—”

“Kitten,” he tutted. “We’ll get a house with a balcony. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll make sure y’have whatever y’want. Y’can’t be sad ‘bout that.”

She sniffled more, only solidifying Harry’s assumption without even looking at the test in his pocket. “But this is...” she sniffled. “I love it here.”

“I love it too, kitten. But we need more room if we have a baby. A lot of babies.”

She frowned, pulled from him slightly. He wiped his thumbs below her eyes to rid her of the wet tears that soaked her cheeks. “You must think I’m ridiculous,” she pressed her forehead against his body again. He wrapped his arms around her again.

“No more than usual,” he chuckled into her hair and reached for the test in his pocket. He looked at it over her shoulder and smirked. Returned it back to his pocket.

“What’s it say?” She mumbled into his shirt.

“I love you,” he kissed the top of her head.

“It definitely doesn’t say that.”

“Y’don’t think your pee could love me?”

“Harry!” she pinched his sides at his silliness.

“Say it back, first.”

“It’s going to be really unfair that you knew I was pregnant before I did,” she grumbled.

He pushed her away again just far enough to meet her gaze. He smiled at her, that lazy smile he had about him that made her blood warm throughout her body. She forgot why she was grumpy with him. Even if it wasn’t that serious. She already knew what the test said in the pit of her stomach. The swing of her mood flipping like a switch. His expression was soft. Like he was holding a crystal vase from the seventeen hundreds and if he looked at it too hard it would break.  “Say it,” he whispered.

It was like she wasn’t in control of her own voice or movements. Not that she didn’t want to say it. She did. All the time. So, it was easy to whisper, “I love you.”

For the third time he pulled her back to him and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll have t’see if we can find a baby swing for the balcony.”

--

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[marlynnofmany]

Seeing Faces

It’s rare when we get a shipment to deliver that’s not packaged somehow — either in Earth-standard boxes, another world’s version of shipping crates, or a livestock pen of some kind. Even that bunch of alien trees had been thoroughly wrapped at the bottom. But this collection of machinery parts didn’t have so much as a layer of cling-wrap on it. I guess the owners figured these things were sturdy enough not to need it.

They were probably right. The metal chunks were heavy. I tried to guess what they were made for as Blip and Blop muscled the biggest ones onto a hover sled, clearing the way for Paint and me to gather up the smaller pieces. Captain Sunlight bid the customer farewell and shut the cargo bay door.

“I think these look like vertebrae,” I said to Paint. “Greasy vertebra. Ew. I’m going to need a new shirt.” The offworld engine oil of whatever didn’t seem acidic at least, so that was nice. I sighed about the black smears.

“Strange vertebrae,” Paint said, juggling her own armload of odd shapes that didn’t seem to be rubbing off on her orange scales. Not that I was jealous or anything. “There would need to be a dual spinal cord.” She tapped a claw on one of the holes.

“Hm, yeah. There are probably animals like that,” I said. “Or robots, as the case may be.”

Ahead of us, Captain Sunlight opened the door to the appropriate storage hold, then headed off on captainly business. It was impressive how different a vibe she gave off compared to Paint, for all their physical similarities. Both were little lizardy people, but one strode with her lemon-yellow head held high, every inch the authority figure, while the other was Paint. She somehow bounced when she walked, even when weighted down by unwieldy metal things.

“I’ll bet these stack really well,” Paint said. “They look like they interlock. We could probably build a spinal column without them falling over.”

“We probably could,” I agreed. “But I don’t want to be the one responsible for bending one of the flanges because we wanted to test it out.”

“Hm. Yep yep yep. But I maintain that we could.”

“We could.”

The two of us entered the storage hold to find Blip and Blop racing to see who could unload the sled faster. It’s not that the Frillian twins were overly competitive, but they were twins. They’d apparently hatched at the same time, and had been in a low-key competition to see who was better at life ever since. But they smiled while they did it.

“Done!” Blip declared, setting down a lump of metal big enough for Paint to hide behind. She raised her hands in triumph, fins fluttering.

“Doesn’t count,” Blop said as he put down his own piece. “You didn’t line them up right. Mine are tidier.”

They squabbled about this while Paint and I unloaded our metal chunks nearby. I had to kneel to keep from dropping the things. It would be just my luck if they did warp on impact, or bounce off each other and whack me in the shin.

The Frillians took their debate out the door before I finished. They’d already moved on to who could steer the hoversled with the minimum of touching.

“Ha,” Paint said. “They do stack.”

I turned to see only one of the things set on top of another, with Paint ready to catch it if it slid. She took it down before I could say anything.

I just nodded and arranged my own into a reasonable huddle, then wiped my hands on my shirt. It was only when I moved toward the door, with a look back at the big pieces, that I got a good look at the one that Blop had set on its side.

This was the logical place to put it, not sticking out past the rest, but the thing that caught my attention was the shape when seen from this angle. Those two holes could have been eyes, and the flanges were shaped like stubby arms. There were even a couple slots in the middle like nostrils.

I burst out laughing.

“What?” Paint demanded.

“It looks like Zhee!” I said, pointing. “Big bug eyes and everything!”

“What does?” Paint asked. She came to stand next to me, following my arm, but just looked confused. “Where are the eyes?”

“These!” I said, stepping closer and pointing at the holes. “And those are the arms. Isn’t it perfect?”

Paint cocked her head as if slightly tilted vision could unlock the answers. “Arms?”

I repeated myself, but she still looked lost, so I found a notepad and pencil in a storage cupboard —reliable even when the batteries all run out — and sketched what I saw.

“Ohh, I get what you mean now,” Paint said when I showed her. “Those parts are lifted like pincher arms, and those are roughly the same proportion as Mesmer eyes.”

“Yeah, it’s uncanny,” I said.

Paint took the notepad to study it closer. “How did you even notice that?”

“It was pretty easy,” I told her. “It just jumped out at me when I looked from the right direction. Like seeing faces in clouds, you know?”

Paint’s blank expression said that she didn’t know.

“Do you not do that? Find patterns of familiar shapes in random things?”

“No?” she replied. “Is that a thing I’m supposed to be doing?”

“You don’t have to! It’s just something that everybody does on Earth, ever since we’re kids. It’s probably from a long history of watching for camouflaged predators in the bushes. You’ve got camouflage on your planet, right? You must.”

“Yeah, sure,” Paint said easily. “But I guess not that much. I’ve never seen a face in a cloud; that sounds terrifying.”

“Not really; it’s more like feeling smart for spotting something. Well,” I amended. “It could be a little unsettling if you see a skull or something. But that’s rare. There are whole systems of divination about this sort of thing.”

Paint looked like she was about to ask a million questions, but right then the sound of familiar clicking footsteps tapped down the hall.

“Zhee!” Paint called, whirling with the notebook in her hand. “Zhee, look what Robin saw!”

Zhee came into view looking just as eyecatching and purple as usual, halting at the doorway while Paint eagerly explained the conversation we’d just had. Quickly and enthusiastically. With lots of waving the sketch around, and pointing back at the machine part.

I felt like apologizing as he stared with an unreadable alien expression. His antennae weren’t even moving; I couldn’t tell what he thought of it all.

Finally Paint finished talking. “She says it’s probably because her species watches for predators in the bushes. Isn’t that amazing?”

Zhee made a point of looking slowly from the sketch to the metal thing, then to me. I braced myself for judgement.

Instead, Zhee raised his pincher arms into the same pose and declared, “I am the danger that lurks in the bushes.” Then he slunk out of sight, many legs scuttling in a quickstep way that he knew darn well I found creepy.

Paint blinked at the empty doorway, still holding the notebook.

“Aw, man,” I said. “He’s picking things up from Trrili.”

Paint immediately closed the notebook. “We definitely shouldn’t show her.”

“Agreed!” I said.

After a moment of thought, Paint tore the page out and handed it to me, then took the notebook back to the cupboard. I pocketed it with a final glance at the metal vertebra that looked remarkably like a cartoonish Mesmer squaring up for battle.

Someone had left a roll of no-residue marking tape on a box nearby. I grabbed a strip and stuck it onto the metal, with the ends curved up.

Now the thing had a goofy grin that possibly no one would recognize. But if there were any humans on the receiving end of this delivery, they ought to get a good laugh out of it.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Mamma Mia | prologue

listen to: Mamma Mia - Abba (Movie cover) | Crazy- Aerosmith | Everybody wants to rule the world- Tears For Fears | Our Last Summer- Abba (Movie cover) (playlist here)

warnings: accidental pregnancy, smut 18+, raising a child alone. warnings will be added as the story progresses. Nothing for this chapter in particular.

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!

The sound of the waves crashing against the sand is muffled by the music in your headphones as you take the view in. The salty air breeze, the heat of the sun warming up your skin just fine, soaking up in the way your whole body felt like it was buzzing. Everything just felt so right. You rode your bike with no hurry down the Marina, tasting the moment. 

You arrived the night before at your parent’s house. They were still hugging you like you’d graduated Law School yesterday when in reality it had been a month but you just guessed the happiness for a law degree lasts longer than your high school and your bachelor’s degree. You got them, not everyone went to Law School, not everyone was the daughter that your parents had and although yes, you were happy you were done with Law School, in all honesty, you were even happier about returning to San Diego and what the summer held for you because after this it would all change. 

That kind of loving turns a man into a slave, 

That kind of loving sends a man right to his grave

You mouth the lyrics, being able to taste the air. It tastes just the same and smells just the same as before. Part of you almost wants to scream, seeing the town again, coming after what felt like a decade, when in reality it’d been five years. Your father had guessed that you might feel nostalgic about returning, might feel adverse to your memories from high school for some reason. You don’t. You’re happy to be here, to come home after a long, long time. It held a million promises of summer, of what might be. 

Arriving at James and Augustine’s place wasn’t hard at all, you’d been watching that house since you were freshmen in High School, and now a promise that had lasted over ten years was finally completed. You felt so warm on your chest as you stared at the house for a moment, in secret. If it was up to you, you would’ve screamed from the front lawn, but you didn’t, you wanted a minute to remember the moment forever. 

It was a small two-floor house, a faded white over it with roots climbing over the wall of the plants that surrounded it. It definitely needed to be repainted but you didn’t care. The backyard and front yard also had orange trees, the orange giving a homey touch to the house. There was a warm feeling in your stomach as you watched. 

That kinda loving makes me wanna pull down the shade, yeah!

That's kinda loving, yeah. Now I’m never, never, never gonna be the same. 

You kept on singing as you parked your bike on the front lawn and quickly walked towards the porch. Taking a deep breath, you unceremoniously opened the door as if it was your own. It technically was yours too. The house smelled like oranges and lemon and as you walked in you felt like you could cry. The main door led to a big living room to the right and in front of it, a small sunroom led to the backyard. As you walked a little bit further, to your right you found the small green kitchen and in front of it, a spiral staircase next to big open windows. 

The house was filled with light, warmth, and everything you’d dreamed of. 

Suddenly, you heard footsteps and at that moment you saw her. That red long hair was falling from her messy bun as she ate a long baguette while watching her phone. You waited for her to see you, not wanting to scare her and make her trip on the stairs, which was something Augustine would probably do.  

And then, her green eyes fell on you. 

The scream was basically so loud that you were sure that the neighbors might’ve heard it but you didn’t care, you ran towards her screaming at the top of your lungs too, crushing her into a hug at the start of the stairs, she launched into your arms with little thought on the baguette that immediately fell on the floor. 

“Jamie! She’s here!” Augustine screamed while you laughed as she held you by your waist and kissed you on the cheek repeatedly.“Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re finally here!” she gushed while you continue to giggle. 

“Jamie!” you screamed this time, hoping your other best friend would climb down the stairs. You heard some tired steps on the ground above you but when James showed up her face from the spiral staircase, as soon as her eyes fell on you, her whole face lit up. She screamed as she climbed down just like Augustine had done and then fell into the arms of both of you

“Can’t believe you’re right here?” she squealed as she held you both tight, her brown hair tickling your cheek as she kissed your cheek. 

“I’ve missed you guys,” you mumbled against James’ cheek while they laughed. 

“That’s what you deserved for going to New York to be a big shot lawyer,” James teased you as she finally let go of you before pushing you gently, feigning annoyance while you slapped her softly on her arm. 

Augustine didn’t miss a beat as she grabbed both of your hands and quickly led you to the sunroom, near the back patio. A serious look on her face as she sat you down on the main couch while James and she took the seats in front of you, almost like an interrogation but you only could bite your lower lip from the excitement. 

“So what’s waiting for us this summer? What’s our main goal?” Augustine asked as she looked at you seriously. 

“What we’ve always planned,” you answered as you pulled your knees up, legs against your chest. “Make some memories,”

“So, you’re finally going to sleep around?” You pushed James' leg softly from the couch and she laughed. 

“James!”

“Want to finally kiss more than one boy a night?” Augustine chimed in while you feel your cheeks getting warmer and warmer. 

You nodded. It’d been a while since you’d planned this since you’d planned that this summer was the one you were going to get loose. In all honesty, you’d thought about it for years now. Being a good daughter, someone who could calm down your parents, and a responsible shoulder to lay on was your goal. All through your childhood, to teenager, to young adult, you’d never actually done something that you wouldn’t tell your parents. You didn’t get loose, you studied and you worked, that was it. 

“Are you telling me that you’re finally letting loose this summer?” James asked as she gazed at Augustine. 

“Before you leave us again?” Augustine asked, pouting as she looked at you. 

“I’m telling you that this is the last summer before I go to London we are going to have the best summer of our lives!” You replied back as you took her hands and then screamed with joy while you pulled them, making them fall on the sofa next to you. 

Seven years later, 

The sound of the waves crashing against the sand is muffled by the windows in your car as you take the view in while staring at the sunset. The sky is painted with hues of purple, yellow, and orange in the most beautiful glow that you could recall in a few weeks. 

It’d been a while since you stopped and just watched what was around you, recalling how lucky you are for living here. Pulling a window down from your car, you close your eyes, the salty air breeze makes your hair a little bit sticky but it’s fine, you’re used to it by now, you let what was left of the sun soak in your skin as you finally take a deep breath. 

It was finally July and everything felt heightened as if something had shifted in the air. You aren’t quite sure what is it, you aren’t sure just yet but you can feel it in your bones. 

Since Inés was born you usually got those gut feelings, as if someone was telling you that something was coming. But Inés wasn’t sick, she hadn’t forgotten any homework, you were up to date with the errands of the house, your mom was fine, your friends were fine, and your work was perfect. 

Everything was fine, and yet it wasn’t. 

A part of you wanted to attribute it to your fight with John but honestly, as you’d grown up you’d learn that as long as Inés was okay, everything else was too. So, you stay there for a while, shaking off the feeling, letting your body relax as you close your eyes and listen to the ocean. 

It is a warm feeling, like cinnamon and honey mixed together, and you let it coat your body. Salty air and the ability to breathe with a little more ease are things you never want to take for granted but you always seem to do when life gets too busy, which is often. 

“Thursdays night are mommy’s night,” you tell yourself and get down from your jeep with ease before walking towards The Hard Deck. 

The little bar definitely had managed to stand the test of time. It had been around for as long as you could remember, located just off the main drag, it was the most popular spot for everyone that lived in the area. On this particular day, the sun was setting and bathing the Hard Deck in this beautiful orange glow, you feel the warmth on your skin and close your eyes. 

Thursdays night is mommy’s night, you recall your beautiful six-year-old daughter, Inés, saying when you’d suggested that you wanted to stay over with grandma and her, she disagreed in the most explicit way. Secretly you were delighted that your daughter was so strong-willed but on the opposite end, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit remorseful about the ritual. 

You’d created the tradition early on in her life when you’d become too overwhelmed with taking care of her on your own. It had happened when she was six months old, James and Augustine weren’t around and she just wouldn’t stop crying as you were trying to finish research for a case a partner had personally given to you so you could prove to her that you could do the job. It came to the point when you’d have a total mental breakdown, unable to get her to eat, unable to get her to sleep, and unable to calm her down; you’d driven to your parent’s place, fat tears falling from your eyes as you and Inés cried in chorus. Inés had calmed down as soon as she was in your mother's arms and you too, quickly got to work and delivered the research before the deadline. 

Soon, it became a tradition. Your mother would care for Inés and you would get ready to work non-stop for around four hours before you pick her up around ten. It was only until last year that Thursdays weren’t used only for work, now, you were often using them to gout out with your friends and go on dates. 

But not today. 

As you walk through the doors of the Hard Deck, you are greeted by the familiar smell of beer and sweat. The bar was crowded, packed for a Thursday and the noise level was high, but at the moment you didn't mind. You didn’t have it in yourself to really scan the place, you walked right to the bar where you find a spot, and quickly leaned on the wooden table, taking a deep breath. 

“Long day?” you can hear Penny’s voice as you raise your head to be met with her green eyes and her soft smile. 

“Sort off,” you groan as you finally take a seat while you look around at the bar, it’s almost always the same view. 

Navy officers, mechanics, people from around town, Top Gun students, those damn Top Gun students. You can identify them easily now that you’ve been living here as a grown-up. You didn’t back then. 

“White wine?” Penny offers, snapping you out of your thoughts. You shake your head as you dangle your keys from your right hand. 

“Driving,” you state as you sigh defeatedly. 

“James didn’t come with you?” she asks with a frown as she still pours the wine into a glass in front of you, before taking the keys from your hand. A part of you wants to protest, but another part of you really knows that you need the wine at the moment, you need to relax and it’d been a while since you had that awful feeling in your gut. 

“No, she was busy and so was Augustine,” you say as you take a sip of your wine and smile at Penny, who winks at you with ease. 

That’s one thing about Penny Benjamin, she never lets anything get to her. Since you’ve known her, you had admired her for it. If Amelia was sick, Penny wouldn’t be fuzzing around. If someone missed a shift at The Hard Deck, she would replace them or find a replacement without complaining. Since you were young, you knew you needed a little bit more of that; ten times more when Inés was born.  

“And you decided to drink alone,” Penny stated calmly as she serves a couple of drinks to the guys next to you, they are clearly young, Top Gun students without a doubt and they are not so subtlety checking you out. 

To be fair, you’d gotten ready before the fight with John. You were wearing a strapless white short dress that let your legs be the center of attention, your hair put on a clean bun, and a pair of strappy heels. It’s pretty, you look pretty, you know it but you still dislike the distasteful way they look at you. 

“John was supposed to come tonight, we fought,” you say as you try to ignore the young pilots. Penny lets out a small ‘mhm’, knowing exactly what she means. 

John was a lawyer from another law firm in Los Angeles. He’d been trying to take you out on a date since he saw you in the meeting for a merger between both of your clients, you’d denied his request saying that until the merger was completed, he couldn’t contact you for anything other than work. He was patient and agreed with you, therefore, a month ago as soon as you’d stepped out of the conference meeting where the papers were signed, you received a phone call from him. 

You’d been dating for over a month and he was perfect on paper. He checked each and every one of the boxes that you’d written down one night with Augustine and James when you were younger. He had a stable job, he was smart, he was good with servers, and he had his own place in LA, sex was good, and yet the most important thing that you hadn’t managed to check was how he got along with Inés; which in turn was taking a toll on your relationship.

“Got it,” Penny assured you as she gazed at you. “What does Inés think about him?”

You raised your eyebrows and then sighed. “No clue,” you answered honestly before taking another sip of wine. “She avoids the topic,” you explained to her.

Penny now raised her eyebrows. “She’s six,” she laughed and you smiled. 

“She’s smart, like her mother,” you answered. 

It was true. Inés was the smartest kid you’d ever met, she was way more advance than you were at that age, and she was way more advance than any kid her age. Most importantly, she was kind and loving, she was so caring that you were afraid sometimes for her. You didn’t want her to be naive, you didn’t want her to get hurt like you were. 

“Why’s so packed today?” you ask Penny, changing the topic quickly as you looked back and see more people arriving. 

“Why should I know?” Penny ask, feigning innocence as she served you a little bit more wine. 

You scoff softly while you look at her. “You know everything, Penny Benjamin,” you say softly as you shake your head and take a sip of your wine. 

Feeling your body relax a bit, you wonder if it was stress getting to your body. Knowing that there’s actually nothing to worry about, you’re okay. 

And then, you hear him. 

“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain,” his voice raspy and delicious as it was seven years earlier. “Too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will but what a thrill,” 

Your stomach sinks in a matter of seconds as you gaze toward the piano.

He hadn’t changed that much from the first time that you’d met him. The sun-kissed skin that for some reason you knew stayed on despite living through the winters in Virginia. The amber locks, the same that turned into curls if he brushed his hair in a certain way after dipping in the ocean. His cheeks, the warm and reddish blush still there, like it was after you kissed him for the first time. The famous mustache that now seemed much fuller and a bit more cared for above that damn smile, the same one that had brought you to your knees all those years before. 

He’s changed now though, his build is much bigger now. You can tell by the way that stupid Hawaiian shirt is hugging his arms as he plays the piano. He seems more confident than he did back then, all of those doubts don’t surface anymore as far as you can see. 

And, after all these years, he is still as beautiful as he was when you met him. 

Part of you wants to be wrong but as he continues to sing to his friends, not looking in your direction, you know that it is him. Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, you remember the taste when his name first fell from your lips. 

“Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire!” you hear him scream again, his fingers expertly playing the piano as you watch him from afar. 

Then, his friends start to howl loudly as he continues to play the tune. It is only until then, that your eyes fall on the people behind the piano and you see him. 

Those doe-eyes were the first thing that you see like you did the day you met him. The crinkles on his eyes are a bit deeper now than back then, they always crinkled like that when you saw him. His long feathery lashes that brushed against his gold-framed glasses are still there, they still complement the warmest blue eyes that you had seen back then and even now. The brown locks were still there, you could tell they still turn golden in the right light, but now they were perfectly combed and arranged even as he is bumping his head to the music, not like back then. He looks basically the same, soft and intelligent. 

Everything Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd did outside your bed was gentle and soft, you can still recall his fingertips over your cheek as he pulled you in for kisses. 

And a heavy feeling on your chest now makes you want to throw up as you see him, see them. 

Deep down, you know what it means for you if they are back, even for a little while, and they see you. You know you have to get out of there.

“Pe-Penny,” your words stumble against the other as Penny’s face drops as she turns to see you, you’ve suddenly become pale, the usual blush on your cheeks completely gone. “I, I have to go,” you manage to say as you climb down from your seat, people are still dancing around you and screaming along with Rooster’s voice. 

Approximately, you have around thirty seconds before he finishes the song and if you don’t go out now, they could probably catch a glimpse of you. 

“What, you just got here?” Penny asks as she looks at you with concern while you examine how to make your way out of the bar but it’s too crowded.

“I just, I need to,” you pant but suddenly, someone pushes you and the glass of wine that you were about to hand to Penny, drops from your hand, breaking into a thousand pieces on the ground, many people finally turn around as Rooster’s singing the last notes of the song. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’ll pay for it too, and I-”

You know you have to get out of there, you just shake your head to Penny, mouthing a small ‘sorry’, and then as you give a step back before you turn around, your back hits someone’s chest. 

“I’m so-” you start to say as you turn around and then your heart sinks. 

You had decided back then that living in California and New York allowed you to be surrounded by the most beautiful in the world but when you met him, you’d decided that there wasn’t anyone as beautiful as him. 

It was like seeing a performance, watching him move through the world. You could still remember it, the way his sea-foam eyes roamed a place, a similar way to when they roamed your body. The way he stood up, the way he leaned against a wall, the way his mouth twitched in just the right way, the suave way he approached everything, the confidence that exuded him like he knew he was meant for something bigger. 

He still had it. 

His sea-foam eyes weren’t as gloomy as they were when you saw him last, instead now, they were gleaming in a similar way to the day they had when you’d first met him. The wrinkles in his forehead were a bit deeper now, you’d always teased him about it but they accompanied well when he had that determined look on his face. His dimples were still there, and his lips, those lips as always quirked up into a familiar smirk. Those damn lips that after all those years still made your cheeks warm up, even after you’d just gone pale. 

He is still as gorgeous as he was the first day you met him, which in turn, only makes you want to cry even more. 

There he is, the bane of your existence. 

“Good to see you, Honey,” Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin says as your eyes meet his. 

***

author's note: thank you for your patience! I really love you a lot and I hope you like it a lot!

***

taglist: @not-two-shrimp @startrekfangirl2233 @caitsymichelle13 @callsign-cherrybomb @books-are-escapes @siriusfahey @fulla02 @bananas1234michaelclifford-blog @2525sc @grxcisxhy-wp @cottagecori @shawnsblue @rogersbarnesxx @safeikik @mimisparkle12 @darkheartcherry @brokenhearts-world-blog @fudosl @lovingjakeseresin @strwbhrrygarfield @twsssmlmaa @wearewhoweare28 @ittydoor @lnmp89 @mickeygs-world @actuallyazriel @laracrofted @railmerooster

[ambi-kiko]

tma music tma music tma music

please reblog with your own! i need it (:

also im more than willing to elaborate on any of em, just ask! (i have much to yell about)

for bitchard, we have:

kiss me, son of god (they might be giants)

i'm gonna win (rob cantor)

blood & money (the orion experience, orion, linda XO)

ruler of everything (tally hall)

BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA (will wood)

community gardens (the scary jokes, louie zong)

the main character (will wood)

your body, my temple (will wood)

laplace's angel (hurt people? hurt people!) (will wood)

saint bernard (lincoln)

welcome to the internet (bo burnham)

all eyes on me (or3o)

my ordinary life (the living tombstone)

cabinet man (lemon demon)

peter x elias (for my frenchies out there <33)

marine marchande (les cowboys fringants)

ok dont judge me too much i had to have smth for them ((: plus its not that unrelated

next! martin

a better son/daughter (rilo kiley)

12 feet deep (the front bottoms)

things to do (alex g)

be nice to me (the front bottoms)

step on me (the cardigans)

heart for brains (roar)

mama (my chemical romance)

summer child (conan gray)

hello my old heart (the oh hellos)

i cant handle change (roar)

against the kitchen floor (will wood)

least favorite only child (leanna firestone)

sharpener (cavetown)

empty bed (cavetown)

life's a beach (bears in trees)

jmart ((:

no children (the mountain goats)

the moon will sing (the crane wives)

euthanasia (will wood)

as the world caves in (matt maltese)

the truth (the front bottoms)

balade à toronto (jean leloup)

doctor (jack stauber)

apocalypse (cigarettes after sex)

talk to you (ricky Montgomery)

cabo (ricky montgomery)

meteor shower (cavetown)

juliet (cavetown)

feel better (penelope scott)

would you be so kind (dodie)

two birds (regina spektor)

line without a hook (ricky Montgomery)

and jon, ofc <3 i rly dont have enough for him ):

body terror song (AJJ)

downhill (Lincoln)

montreal (penelope scott)

ramblings of a lunatic (bears in trees)

its called: freefall (rainbow kitten surprise)

chin music for the unsuspecting hero (foster the people)

love, me normally (will wood)

dinner is not over (jack stauber's micropop)

also melanie! dont have that many but she deserves the mention (:

saturn suv (fredo disco)

brave as a noun (AJJ)

tongues & teeth (the crane wives)

wreaking ball (mother mother)

we fell in love in october (girl in red)

and just random songs with tma vibes (other characters, ships, dread powers, etc)

underground (cody fry)

hand me my shovel, i'm going in! (will wood)

terry's taxidermy (teddy hyde)

cotard's solution (will wood and the tapeworms)

amnesia was her name (lemon demon)

memento mori: the most important thing in life is death (will wood)

skeleton appreciation day in vestal, n.y. (will wood)

icicles (the scary jokes)

puppet boy (devo)

oh ana (mother mother)

i dont smoke (mitski)

choke (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)

thermodynamic lawyer esq, G.F.D (will wood and the tapeworms)

sorry haha i fell asleep (egg)

despair (leo)

stuff is way (they might be giants)

baby teeth (baby bugs)

king park (la dispute)

i/me/myself (will wood)

dr. sunshine is dead (will wood and the tapeworms)

amygdala's rag doll (ghost and pals)

little pistol (mother mother)

burning pile (mother mother)

this is home (cavetown)

body (mother mother)

turn the lights off (tally hall)

like real people do (hozier)

im going insane

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

I totally love ur interpretation of alphas smelling kinda nasty it's not my thing but it's very cool and fun!!! (Pls share where you disagree with me I love hearing other opinions)

For some reason to me, omega! Price is fresh baked bread. Like it just seems correct to me idk why

Beta! Price is herbal. Maybe w some very slight powdery notes. But mostly like tea and old books. The smell is on the warmer side even tho I tend to see beta scents as more... cold? If that makes any sense

Alpha! Price is either a sharp, pine scent. Like a Christmas tree farm. OOOOOR this really yummy perfume I have called Jazz Club by replica. It's such a good scent and I feel like either price or ghost fit the vibe of it.

-🔪

Interesting!!! Also Pine Price? Yes yes??!??! 🫵🫵🫵

(I will be highjacking this to post my own hcs!)

(UPDATED) The 141's Scents in an A/B/O AU: Depending on Presentation

Follow-up on these two posts:

As a reminder, these two posts follow a theory of mine that:

Alphas smell so strong and overpowering, bordering on just smelling Bad™️;

Betas smell natural and comforting (average, no major complaints);

Omegas smell sickly sweet and so overwhelming it could make someone ill.

Johnny

Omega Johnny smells like the syrup that surrounds and preserves canned fruit. Canned peaches especially.

Beta Johnny smells like the sea. Salt water, seaweed… that kind of thing.

Alpha Johnny smells like shoe shiner, or another product like that. Maybe wet paint or varnish?

Kyle

Omega Kyle smells like something warm and cosy and gooey that melts in your mouth. My brain is saying honey or honeycomb, caramel or toffee maybe?.

Beta Kyle smells like freshly cut grass, and ivy. Especially when the freshly cut grass is damp too.

Alpha Kyle smells like nearly vinegary and acidic. The best way I can say it is... strong wine that has just started fermenting.

Simon

Omega Simon smells like talc/baby powder. Makes you wanna bury your face in him and sniff like you do to a newborn baby.

Beta Simon smells like old books with yellowed pages. Not necessarily musty or bad.

Alpha Simon smells of black pepper.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Omega Ghost wears scent blockers. You'd never know what he smells like because he doesn't let you. (It's vanilla sugar)

Beta Ghost smells of freshly carved wood furniture, unfinished and unvarnished, still full of splinters and rough edges.

Alpha Ghost smells strongly of burning. Like a campfire, a forest fire, maybe gasoline or sulphur.

John

Omega John smells like lemon merengue. Sickly sweet and tangy at once, with a softness that melts in your mouth.

Beta John smells like a forest, maybe a rain forest, but I could also see him smell of pine and very obviously so. But the kind of pine that people sometimes mistake for mint?

Alpha John smells like rusted iron and dirt... Which a lot of people confuse with fresh blood. Especially when he's angry and his scent mutates.

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ 𝟏/𝟐 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬), 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲, 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝-𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐭, 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐟 𝐮 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐚), 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐢𝐝𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞. 𝐎𝐡 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 

𝐀𝐍_𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜. 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 :(.

✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚) (𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢.𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙤)

♪ ♫ 𝙋𝙀𝘿𝙍𝙊 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 (𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩)

「 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 」 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

(Each chapter can be read alone)

The first morning of heat you feel in the year is calm. The ending of spring in 2024 in Jackson was getting very obvious. It’s 9:00 am, and the street is quiet, but you can hear the sound of the cooking eggs on the stove being made. 

A cup of ginger and lemon tea rests beside the sink, and the smoke melts with the one that erupts from the eggs. 

As you wait a little for the food to be ready, you look out the window at a cute couple of birds peppering each other on a tree branch. The brown and beige little birds shower in love while they both share some piece of food you can’t identify. 

They looked like a solid couple, unlike you and Joel. 

You get used to many things very fast. So living in Jackson for two weeks and a half show you that they lived like an ordinary town. With regular jobs, food, and social rules, within what fits. Soon you realized living in Jackson was the closest to what the world was before the infection. And that people never perceived you as Joel’s partner. 

But you and Joel had never put a name to your relationship, which burdened you after you started to see many women felt attracted to Joel. The worst part is that your way of feeling jealousy was isolating and getting depressed. You used to think like that when Tess and Joel were (kind of) together. But now it came with the pressure of him or you formalizing the relationship. 

And things were… complicated. The man and Ellie had been weird with you, distant and cold. The first days you thought it was for the change, but now it was the same. Joel was joining the patrols and spent the afternoon in the bar with Tommy. While Ellie was starting to go to school, she was locked in her bedroom when she returned. 

Meanwhile, you didn’t know what to do. First, the house had things to clean; then you claimed your own room. You shared the master bedroom with Joel, but the house's smallest room was filled with books, candles, and plants. 

Back into the present, the creak on the wood floor brought you back to reality. Joel entered the kitchen in his daily clothes: boots, a button-up shirt, and dark jeans.

“Hey…” you greet him with a smile. He reciprocates and walks to lean and leave a kiss on your temple. “Good morning, bunny.”

“I made some breakfast….” you explain quietly. He nods, giving you a brief smile. “Smells great, thanks.”

“I was thinking. Maybe we could go and have fun in the bar later.” Joel is about to say yes. But soon he remembered you couldn’t enter a bar. Well, you can, but you can’t drink. You’re pregnant, and he hadn’t told you yet. So after watching you asleep beside him, he thought about it every night. 

“I can’t. Tommy needs me to fix one of the stable fences. It’s going to take us a lot.” He wasn’t lying, but sure, he was exaggerating. You sigh quietly, placing the eggs, bacon, and a slice of toast on two plates—one for him and one for Ellie. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay…” he knew you were sad about it. But he couldn’t find a way to tell you yet. He wanted to be ready and prepared. But he had to hurry since no one knew how many months you were into the pregnancy. 

Ellie entered the room, also ready to go, which disappointed you because you would be alone so early. 

“What about you, Ellie? We could watch a movie or bake something together..” the girl looked at you with wide eyes. Since the day of the hospital, she can’t look you straight in the eye, or she would spill the truth. 

“I-I have an upcoming presentation from geography. I wanted to finish it early” both feel terrible to you. Both want a little familiar moment, but it would be worst. 

“Next weekend, dear,” Joel says, avoiding your upset look. Then, they sit at the table, and Ellie notices you stay on your feet. 

“You’re not gonna eat?” Then, after briefly looking at the food, you shake your head. “I used to love eggs, boiled or scrambled. But suddenly, they give me nausea.”

Joel and Ellie look at each other. Eating in silence. You lived from strawberries every morning since the seeds you and Joel planted outside were highly fertile. Chopped strawberries and milk with oats were fine. Until they’re done, and you had to see them go. You didn’t want to exaggerate but couldn’t help but cry a little as you washed the dishes. 

It was weird because now you had a home, a “family,” but you felt so alone. Similar thoughts ran through your head while you broom the porch. 

“Hey! There you are….” you are startled by a feminine voice. It’s Maria coming from the street. She’s carrying his baby boy from two months old. You smile at her and leave the broom on the door frame. 

“Hi! And hello, you too” the baby is barely awake, but you pretend to greet him too. Maria smiles, and with your help, you invite her inside the house. 

“I’m surprised. You have done a lot to the house. Looks different” she's very kind to you. Maria never failed to admit she liked you more than Joel and Ellie. But she was getting used to them too. As for the moment, she was okay with having you around. The baby liked you, and you weren't afraid to share your love for babies. 

"But what can I do for you on a Thursday morning?" You said as she smiled, sitting in the living room as you carried the baby. 

"Well, I was talking with Tommy. And we both agreed that you could join our council in the future. But for now, we think you could work as a teacher. We have a minimal amount of paramedics, and besides helping in our clinic, you could teach the youth" instantly, you smile. Maria made your day with that simple sentence. 

“YES!.. yeah, I’d love that,” she smiles kindly, liking your reaction very much. 

After over an hour, she takes you to the small school. And begins showing you how it works. Then you understand that you’ll start in two days, making you simultaneously nervous and excited.

Making your way out of the school, you freeze, looking at the bar entrance. It was 5:00 pm, and Joel was chuckling with the town midwife, Freya. You had met her the first days after returning to Jackson. She was that kind of fake person that showered you with kindness, but it was apparent how hypocritical she was. And she seemed to like Joel very much, always smiling and saying hello when she spotted you and him walking from Tommy’s house. 

Freya was slightly older than you, probably late twenties or early thirties, and she bragged with the excuse of her husband being a contractor just like Joel used to be. Also, she never hesitated to ignore you or barely knowledge your presence. 

Little did she know, you hated trouble. So you ignored her too, slipping away from Joel when she came, only to return some minutes later and remind him you wanted to leave. Joel would put his arm around your shoulder and say goodbye to Freya.

However, this time was different because Joel was supposed to be with Tommy fixing the fence, not at the bar's entrance, giggling with that woman. Seeing her so desperate to make him do something else boils your blood. And it terrifies you what could be Joel’s reaction. 

You wanted to trust. But you didn't have many options when he had been so strange lately, and Ellie too. Maybe Ellie knew something, so she was also avoiding you. But you didn’t have the heart to pry about with her. She was just a kid and didn’t need to be involved in “adult” stuff. 

“Again, with that imprudent woman? Gosh…” you jumped, looking at your new friend, Rosalie. She was another teacher, and she helped you since day one. She was a year younger than you and was a lovely woman. Honest and humble, with a loyal boyfriend and aunt living three houses away from yours with Joel and Ellie. 

“Jesus! Rosalie. You scared me.” She giggled, offering you a cup of tea, which you accepted kindly. “What? C’mon y/n. If I saw Rae spending too much time with her, I would give him a cathedra or a warning.”

“He’s not that kind of man, but….” you go quiet, looking at Joel and the woman as they keep talking and laughing occasionally. “He’s been acting so weird. Even Ellie is, and I don’t find any other reason but….”

“Him cheating? I thought older men wanted to fuck young girls. Every day I get them less.” she knew you were not in the mood to laugh, so she sighed, hugging you slightly. 

“He loves you, y/n. I’ve seen you two. He’s a man of word, I can tell. But Freya is good but has a bad reputation regarding couples and relationships.” Freya caused a divorce four years ago in Jackson. It was a big scandal, but her friends said she was on a breakdown for her husband's death. Still, she was a maneater and didn’t like many women, including you.

“But don’t jump to make conclusions yet. See if there’s any other hint.” Rosalie was right. She was good, and she almost lost Rae to the infection some months ago, making her stronger and brave.

“You’re better at this. I don’t have any social skills.” You say, causing her to giggle. But the truth is that you felt like a fish out of water in Jackson. Ellie was going to school and making friends, and Joel had Tommy. But you, you were alone, even left alone by them. 

So Rosalie was your anchor and even Maria was your anchor sometime. 

“I felt like you were when I arrived with Rae here. We were eighteen, and we had escaped from Phoenix QZ. He joined the electricians; always been good with wires. But I was alone for the first months until I joined the school and made time teaching babies.” You sip at the tea, and the warm flavor of cherry and berries tastes amazing. “So don’t be sad. It’s hard to get used to the change. Especially after all the things you went through, y/n.”

“Thanks, Rosalie. I appreciate it so much.” She nods with a wink, hugging you tightly as you focus on Joel and Freya again. You meet his eyes, and instantly you avoid him. Hiding your face on Rosalie, who noticed the action.

“It’s going to be okay. He must have a good reason, and Ellie too.” You nod again, eyes on the clear sky of Wyoming spring was your favorite season, but summer was getting better. 

You like to wear wide jeans and thin-strap tops. Eat ice cream and be outside after sunset. 

“I hope so, Rosalie. I really do….” you don’t notice, but Joel is looking at you yet, feeling guilty from seeing your sad pouting face. 

__

Ellie knew you wanted to ask her something after dinner. She could feel your gaze but stayed with her head down the whole meal. And Joel wished to act like everything was fine, but he was notoriously awkward. 

“So, Did you like the soup?” you asked with a little smile at the man and the girl. The mushroom and onion soup was delicious, with some bread Rosalie helped you to bake hours before. But they only nod quietly. 

Maybe I shouldn’t tell them about my new job, you think. So you stay quiet for the rest of dinner too. 

You are the first to finish, and Joel noticed how fast you were eating, which worsened his anxiety. He couldn’t wait long; he was scared to wait until your bump popped. 

“Leave the dishes in the sink. I’ll clean them in the morning…” without any other word, you leave them alone. 

Ellie sighs and stops eating, looking at Joel. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” Ellie whispers, and Joel doesn’t reply. “She’s getting upset, Joel.”

“I know…” your attitude minutes earlier clearly showed your disappointment. The look you had after seeing him and Freya talking was another sign. “She’s going to get tired. She’s going to get sad and….”

“I know,” Joel repeated, a little colder. But Ellie threw her fork into the table, surprising him.

“No, you don’t. Freya might be helping you to reveal the news to y/n. But she has clear intentions with you; everyone knows she does.” Joel was stunned by the girl's answer. He only stared at her thoughtfully. “You are taking too much time. It looks weird how much time you spend with that woman. If you’re going to change your mind about y/n, tell me. Because she’s like my mother, and I’m not willing to see her on the verge of another mental breakdown. And if you don’t hurry to tell her, I will”

Joel is shocked. He sighs, pressing his palms into his face. The stress would kill him, but it would be worst the next day.

__

In the morning, you pretended everything was fine, a little distant, but felt normal. Then, after Joel left and Ellie was gone, you arrived at the school.

Ellie was in the other little building with kids her age. You were teaching youths from 16 to 19 years old. 

After introducing yourself, you explain some basic things about first aid. Then, by giving them time to ask questions, you move on to put some practice on them, cleaning a wound. 

The guys are incredible, patient, and willing to learn. And by the time classes are over, it is 4:30 pm. Rosalie knocks on your door, finding you alone inside.

“How was your first day?” You tell her everything, and she hears excited. By 5:30 pm, you two are laughing and sharing stories. Rosalie loves to hear all the things Joel had done for you in the past, and you love to listen to her share about how she grew up with Rae since they were kids. 

Until Freya appears out of nowhere with her long red hair and face full of freckles

“Oh, hi, y/n. I heard today was your first-day teaching. Congratulations” you give her a little smile, feeling uncomfortable with her presence. “Just wanted to pass and say hi. I bet Joel is super excited for you. With the baby and Ellie in school?”

Baby? what the hell was that woman talking about?

“Baby?” Rosalie asks. And Freya smiles kindly, fake. 

“Well, y/n’s baby, of course. She’s pregnant.” you frown, heart pounding. 

“I’m not pregnant, Freya.” She shrugs, twirling a hair in her finger. 

“Oh gosh, Joel hadn’t told you? I’m so sorry, y/n.” But, of course, she doesn’t feel sorry. It’s her job to ruin couples.

“Joel told me. A little before you arrived, you and Ellie had an accident in a hospital. And the doctors told him you were pregnant. But he didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.” 

You go pale. Watching Rosalie in horror, she’s just as confused as you are. 

“He spent hours in my house last weekend. He wanted to surprise you,” Rosalie snaps at the red-haired girl. 

“Freya. Shut up,” your friend say. You stand up quietly and pass by the woman. 

“Excuse me…” you apologize and leave. 

From school to your house, you start feeling angry. Then, rage invades you because no matter if you are pregnant or not, Why he had to talk about your intimacy with Freya?

Why hadn’t he told you directly? A baby was a wish of yours but not a plan. 

People stare at you, looking at your red eye and raged face. 

When you open the door, Joel is seated at the table, drinking.  And the words spill out instantly.

“Is it true? That I’m fucking pregnant? Because I had to learn from fucking Freya,” Joel freezes. He wasn’t expecting to hear that after your arrival. After waiting and seeing he was silent, you push him to speak. “TELL ME!”

“…y/n. Please-“ but you don’t want to wait. You need answers. He stands up silently.

“Is it true?” You ask pleadingly. Joel sighs, slowly starting to nod.

“Yes…” he admits. And somehow, you don’t feel illusion or love. This is not how you wanted to get pregnant. 

“What the fuck, Joel?” you ask, outraged. The pain in your throat increases, aching. 

“Freya was helping me to understand how developed the pregnancy is. Also, she was helping me to know how to tell you.” Joel wasn’t naïve. He didn’t trust anyone. What changed?

“Don’t bullshit me, Joel. That’s a fucking pathetic excuse; everyone knows she’s a whore” you tried to avoid denigrating women, but Freya was mentally ill, screwing couples to feel better after her husband's death. 

“You know I’m not that kind of man. I just needed help.” Unfortunately, Ellie heard and came downstairs. Now she was at the kitchen entrance, looking at you two arguing.

“STOP LYING. This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening …” maybe you were delirious cause you didn’t hesitate to crash his glass against the wall. You burst into tears, feeling so shameful. 

“I can’t be pregnant. I was bleeding for months. I don’t have any symptoms….” Joel tries to step closer, but you step backward, hurting him with the action.

“The fireflies. The hospital wristband indicated anemia and pregnancy.” you shake your head. And Ellie is afraid of what could happen eventually. She’s worried for you.

Once she steps further into the kitchen, you look at her. She knew her regretful look had given her away.

“You also knew. And-, So you two opt for distancing and leaving me alone?” you find it hard to understand their decision, but it makes you mad. “I know you two had a hard past. I know we went through shit. But in the end, I guess you two are still those cold shits without empathy.”

“No, love. Listen-we have to think clearly.” it’s useless. You feel hurt and betrayed. You want to scream and disappear at the same time.

“NO, STOP IT. You were being a dick with that whore. You lied to me and encouraged Ellie to do the same. I’m pregnant, and now I didn’t want to.” Both see you scream and cry with pain. But you haven’t finished. “Because I don’t know if I want you to be the father of this baby. I don’t know if I want to have a baby. And I don’t know if I want a family like this.”

Ellie and Joel's hearts broke when you ran upstairs and slammed your room door. 

When Joel turns to see Ellie, she’s sobbing. The man hurries to hug her, and she hides her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry, baby girl.” His eyes are teary too.

Ellie fears ending up without a family, and Joel was significantly hurt by your insecurity about him being the father of your child. 

Joel understands that the three of you can’t keep living in pain after being in the ideal place to build a happy life. He needs you as much as you need him. Ellie needs the two of you. And that baby needed a sister and their parents. 

__

Knock knock.

“Go away, please,” you say, faltering a little. You have been sobbing for what feels like hours—curled in the little twin bed of the room you had for yourself. 

“Baby, please let me in.” Joel pleads on the other side of the door. You sigh, hiding under the blanket because you know he will enter. 

“Oh, y/n. I’m so sorry,” it’s the first thing he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

His hands start traveling from your back to your hip, comforting you. 

“But I’m not letting this thing of arguing and hurting each other screws our new lives.” he uncovers your face. And you can see how badly you hurt him. His face full of wrinkles and grays, those beautiful eyes you love, and his patchy beard you love. You don’t want to keep hurting him, either. 

“I was scared to tell you. After all the trauma you went through, the things we have seen. I wanted to find a decent way to tell you. But yeah, you’re right; Freya is a bitch. I knew she was flirting, but she’s the only midwife in town.” he tries to avoid excusing himself. You also notice it.

“Maybe talking with Maria was enough. First sorry of the night. I would never be unfaithful to you. I only have eyes for you and only you, my beautiful woman. I’m sorry for hurting you.” there’s a tiny smile trying to peek on your face. He can feel it. 

“Ellie wanted to tell you. She is worried for you.” your heart aches at the statement.

“And I don’t blame you for hesitating about forming a family with her and me. We’re not the most usual couple, and she’s not the most normal adopted child.” finally, you chuckle. He does it too, and both of you feel that spark again. 

“Half of the town is awkward about us being together.” Again, both of you laugh. And it’s true. Most people disliked the idea of you dating someone so much older like him. 

“I’m not a good person. I don’t deserve to be a father again. But…” suddenly, you feel the urge to contradict him. 

“No, Joel. Don’t say that, please. You’ve committed some errors, like me. But you deserve to be a father again. I’m so sorry for making you believe otherwise.” he accepts your hug desperately. Both of you feel at home again. “I love you so much, Joel. I don’t want to keep hurting each other or Ellie. I want us to be happy.”

“We could have some therapy. Tommy said someone helps with that” instantly, you nod. That sounded very good. “I’d really like that.”

“Okay. Then we’ll do it,” he states. And he’s able to examine your sweet face. “Looks, I should have given to you before….”

He places your mother’s necklace in your hands. You gasp in surprise. You knew he had it since Boston, but the action revealed that he had read your letter. “My mother’s necklace….”

It’s a thin gold chain with a little seashell pendant. She wore it since she was a girl, which was your only memory of her, besides a wrinkled family picture that now rested in the living room. 

He feels like he loses himself in the color of your eyes and eyelashes. Then, after securing the necklace around your neck, he wants to cup your red cheeks and your lips… he wants to kiss you so badly. 

“Promise me. We’ll try until we make it real this time.” Because it was fallacy after fallacy from the two years you had been together. Because of Tess, FEDRA, the QZ, taking Ellie, the infected, the fireflies. Now, What was stopping you two from being happy?

“I promise. For you, Ellie… and this one.” He exclaims, his hand caressing your stomach. You had forgotten about it. 

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” you admit to him. He sends you a sweet smile, still caressing your skin. There’s no visible or touchable bump yet; Joel still feels protective. 

“Me neither,” he shrugs, keeping the smile. “But it’s not like we had protection. And we are kind of a needy couple.” 

“Yeah. Good stamina for a silly old man.” you feel his arm gently pushing you as he rolls his eyes. When your arms end around his neck, he feels so comfortable. “This isn’t how I wanted a baby. But… I can tell you’ll be a good father to him. So it’s okay….” 

“And I can tell you’ll be the smartest and cutest mama.” He chuckles when you let a big Oww, Joel. And he’s more than pleased to accept another big hug. That’s when he can’t help but asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah…” it’s heated but adorable. And you’re so used to feeling his raspy beard against your cheeks and nose that you welcome the feeling. Joel is smiling through the kiss. He holds your hips swiftly and fights against the urge to invite his tongue to the kiss. But he’s surprised when you do it, and he replies. After that, the kiss gets messy, sloppy, and passionate. 

“I love you, bunny. So so much.” Joel accepts, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you too.”

“You can come in, Ellie,” Joel says, raising his voice. You smile at the girl opening the door, shyly making her way toward you. 

You offer your arms, and she runs to join the hug. Joel wraps the girl and you. 

“I'm sorry for yelling at you, Ellie,” you told the girl. She nods quietly, accepting you're apology. 

“We love you so much,” you add, and she can feel she could cry a river for it. Ellie would always admire how you weren’t afraid to show and give love. 

“I love you too,” she admits, and it surprised you and Joel. But the three of you stay together for some minutes, healing in the process. 

__

Three weeks later, things are so much better. Therapy was working very well for you and Joel. Joel pushed Freya entirely away and told her she wouldn’t be your midwife. Maria roasted Joel when you revealed you were pregnant because she didn’t like you dating an older man. But she accepted it by Tommy’s petition, and it was a nice grill day. 

Mornings were warm breakfasts, and afternoons were for playing and spending time with Ellie. And Fridays or Saturdays were mandatory dates for you and Joel. 

Walks to the stable, reserved dinner at midnight (courtesy of Tommy), steamy lovemaking when Ellie was at the movies, and garden together. 

And now, out of nowhere, your belly popped. It looked like you were around five months pregnant, but you and Joel estimated you probably were three months into the pregnancy. However, with the upcoming arrival of summer, you only wanted to use sundresses that showed your bump. 

“There’s my perfect bunny.” you feel Joel's big hands behind you, hugging you and weighing your belly. “Hi, love”

“Hello, handsome,” you greet him. Turning around to face him and planted a big kiss on his lips. “How was work today?”

“Thankfully, calmed. No infected, no rangers, everything is fine for now.” You nod while he plays with your hands. He looks happy, and it makes you happy. “Hey. We should go out. I want to give you something.”

“You know I don’t like surprises, Joel,” he smirks, grasping your hips seductively. You giggle when he starts to kiss your jaw and neck.

“I think you’ll like this surprise a lot.” rolling your eyes, you sigh. “Okay. Can I wear a sundress?”

“Oh, that would be perfect.” Then, sending him a sour look, you start to the stairs. “Perv.”

“What?-no. Come here…” he said playfully. But once he made it upstairs, you locked the closet door. “I’ll wait here, don’t worry, baby.”

“Good, just one thing. Orange or beige?” you ask. Joel wonders if you are making him choose between shoes or a dress, he prays it’s the dress. 

“Beige,” he answers. “I’ll take a shower.” 

“Okay,” you accept. And no later than five minutes, he’s ready, with a plain shirt, jeans, and boots. He has the sleeves rolled up how you like.

But he can swear he was about to tear after you exited the closet. First, you had the most simple but beautiful beige sundress with soft but attractive details on the torso. Then the thin and long fabric making your bump look so cute. 

“You look very…oh god” you’re beyond surprised after seeing Joel getting emotional. You ran to hug him, placing your chin on the top of his head as he sat on the bed's edge. “Sorry. It’s just you look so beautiful. I love you so much.” 

“Oh, Joel. You look gorgeous, and I love you so much, too.” he nods, leaning his ear on your bump. He wants to stay like that forever.

__

He takes you on a walk to the little park people built-in 2021 before he gets both of you some ice cream—vanilla for you, chocolate for him. 

“I’m still waiting for you to play us a song,” you say, rubbing your belly. Joel noticed you had started to include the baby every time. You also had cravings for dinner meals. 

“I'm still looking for a guitar” He was mesmerized by this new version of you. Pregnant, without significant worries, and always in pretty sundresses. “And don’t use our kid as your alibi.”

“I’m not. Right?” You ask to your belly, making Joel laugh and lean to kiss you. Without boots, you looked so tiny, and he loved to look bigger than you. 

At that moment, with the sun hitting your face and looking at your beautiful smile, he thinks it’s time. 

“Close your eyes, baby.” You obey happily. Then you feel him taking your hands and slipping something cold into them. When you open your eyes to look, you find a ring. 

“Joel…” you never planned to get married. You didn’t even think it was possible after the infection. 

“Let’s get married” But there you had Joel standing on one knee, proposing marriage. 

“Where did you get that?” You ask, covering your mouth. He shrugs. “There’s a department full of useless things. Maria told me that this kind of stuff is not the most looked-out. So she let me grab a ring. I know you like emeralds, but there was only this one or a Pearl. And…”

“Joel is perfect. Yes, yes, I’ll fucking marry you” nodding, he leans to hug you, knowing that therapy will continue, but this will change everything. Now it would be official. 

“Wait-, like. Right now?” He nods, standing up.

“Yeah, apparently, it’s very easy.” You are shocked. But you’re eager to find out and do it. 

“Okay… let’s go.” You giggle, taking his hand. 

Some turn to see you and Joel walking through the town. It was normal now. But if they knew you were on your way to get married. 

Tommy was leaving the offices when he looked at you and Joel and smiled, waving. 

“Hey. Where’s the church?” Joel asks, making Tommy laugh at the randomness. 

“Two blocks to the left from here. Why? You weren’t very religious back in the day, big brother” you laugh with Tommy, and your partner only rolls his eyes. 

“We’re getting married, Tommy.” His brows show he’s surprised but happy. And like the extrovert he could be, he started rambling.

“Oh my-. I’m taking Maria, our kid, and Ellie. Oh, and a camera. Get going. I will be there in a little.” You wave back at Tommy as he starts going to his home. Then you turn to face Joel.

“He’s so ridiculous.” You push him gently. Then you spot Freya on the street. She looks surprised because your belly wasn’t visible some days ago and now. Joel has his arm protectively around your shoulders. Freya must be pissed. 

But you ignore her, knowing that day was only about you and Joel. 

“We should make skewers to celebrate. And the cake I made… oh. You’re an asshole, that’s why you suggested me to bake something.” Busted, Joel got caught. Not that it mattered anymore, but he remembered how smart you were once again. 

“Yes. And it looks amazing. It’s been a while since we had strawberries.” You made a simple chocolate cake with strawberries, jam, and cream. Joel suggested the ingredients since he helped plant some strawberries in your little garden. 

“Can I invite Rosalie and Rae?” Joel nods. He liked the girl and her boyfriend. They were smart and kind. Joel liked it a lot you were making friends. He didn’t have a lot because he already had Tommy. But he knew you would befriend someone who he could trust.

“Sure. Ellie likes Rae a lot” because both were nerds about space stuff. Rae had comics and collected everything related to NASA. So Ellie was excited to meet him. She also liked Rosalie, but Rae had something to share with the girl. 

“I know. They’re a pair of nerds,” both of you giggle on the way to the church. 

And once you’re inches away from entering, nervousness succumbs to you.

“Hey. If you’re not ready, we can wait.” Joel comforts you. But you’re ready, and you’re sure of being his wife. The Miller last name suited you. 

“No, I’m sure. I want to do it now. It’s just… I never imagined this would happen to me. Since my family-, I-, I wanted a family. And now, I have Ellie, we’re getting married, and I’m pregnant. We even got that fucking house with the garden.” You realize it’s such a big coincidence. How life treated you like shit for so long, and now, it gave you all you wanted at once. 

“It’s what we deserve” actually is what you deserve, Joel thinks. Because he had a lie left, which he hoped would die with him. “Especially you, my love.”

“I don’t want to be arrogant, but fuck yeah. I deserve this,” you accept with a smile. Joel loves you so much that just by looking two seconds at you, he feels he has fallen deeper for you. 

“Let’s get married then….” you nod, entering the church.

__

Ellie looks perplexed at you and Joel. Tommy is talking with him and you. Maria is also in the conversation but behind you, placing a veil on your head. 

It must be old and rural. Because the piece was delicate and short and weirdly matched your simple dress. 

Again, Ellie was perplexed. She never thought about seeing this side of you and Joel. Both smiling so often, laughing, and being…happy. 

However, she was happy for you two. She wanted to meet the upcoming baby and already felt she was part of the family.

Tommy invited her to the stable when Maria corrected or scolded her for being mean.

Then you and Joel cooking with her, playing board games, and even folding laundry with him or you. 

“Ellie. It already started.” Maria whispers to her. The girl snaps out and can see Joel and you holding heads as a man says things she ignores. Only when you and Joel are officially proclaimed wife and husband does she takes very little to stand up to hug you. 

“I’m so fucking happy for your two.” You and Joel exchanged emotional looks, and he joined the hug for a brief moment. 

“Welcome to the family” Tommy congrats you and then his brother. You thank Maria for the veil, and she starts taking some pictures with an old camera. Ellie takes some. Maria takes others. It’s a happy moment. 

“Wait, hey. Kiss the bride, man,” Tommy suggests mocking his brother. But Joel doesn’t hesitate to pull you closer, taking your waist and cheek, passionately kissing you. 

You get lost in the moment, feeling all the love and devotion for each other. 

Maria looks outrageous at Joel, suddenly turning to Ellie.

“You’re staying with us tonight,” she states, making Ellie frown. 

“Why? she’s already pregnant.” The woman sends a lousy look to Ellie, and the girl shrugs, feigning innocence. 

“With Tommy and I, Ellie,” she clarifies again, turning to see you and Joel still kissing.

You feel warm and light in Joel's arms. As the kiss is over, he keeps smiling at you. And it’s lovely that you could get used to his smile after years of seeing him serious. 

“I love you” He feels the same. He’s getting used to watching you all beautiful and happy. 

“I'll try so hard to make you happy, Mrs. Miller.” 

Now he’s yours, and you’re his, forever. 

__

Woah, so it's over. When I wrote the first part of this, it wasn't supposed to turn into a series, but I'm glad it did. I LOVE YOU for supporting this series so much. I'm still writing extras, like the birth and ideas from requests. 

Taglist: @aonungs-tsahik @buckysmainhxe @amethystwonders11 @kyuupidwrites @bookfrog242 @acornacreacure @enbywan @ipadkidsworld @my-obsession-spn @happycupcakeenthusiast @thesameoldboo @spideysimpossiblegirl @tubble-wubble @flightlexsbird @randomstory56 @memento-mora @royalty-cashinout @ayamenimthiriel @eddies-bat-tattoos @kassieesworld @damnzelsoul @floffytofu @rintheemolion @coldheartedmar @woofgocows @d4rno @marantha @floralsightings @pedro-pascal-3nthusiast @holb32 @harperdoodle

[bunny-yan]

i love your writing and characters so much, like your ideas are too interesting! and i love the way you write spitfire mc's, the ones that are more pissy about their situation than scared lolol

If you're still taking requests could you possibly do a third part to the hero? i love that guy tasman, and if you wanted to, include some non-con? i just feel like at this point he's gotta be up to his wits end of being patient, especially if his little captive is still ogling the window like they're more interested in those trees than talking to him, or even still thinking of trying something sneaky.

keep up the amazing work, i hope all your bubble baths are very relaxing and your water is always crisp

awwww! thanks so much for the kind words. i do like writing reactions in different ways and i don't know if it's just me but i find it much more satisfying when a yan is forced to bend you to his will, ya know? don't want to make his job too easy ;)

TW: non-con, more lime than lemon, violence, domestic abuse, threats, mentions nudity, abs NO minors —

He was sitting on the bed, head resting on clasped hands, watching you. It would’ve made you uncomfortable, but then again, air existed. It was nothing to get upset about. 

You were pretending he didn’t exist and it was going pretty well considering his anger issues could destroy the world if they went unchecked. But he was sitting there, silently drilling holes into your body for the last couple of hours. 

He’d made attempts to appease you, attempts that had failed the moment he tried because he didn’t exist. 

Food would appear out of thin air and you would look at it before turning your head and continuing to gaze out of the window. 

Flies would buzz around your ears. You weren’t sure how they got inside considering the window was sealed shut with magic, but you swatted them away nonetheless. 

You didn’t turn your head at the sound of his fist balling, sounding as if he broke every bone in each of his fingers. You steeled yourself so you wouldn’t flinch away or react. You wouldn’t give him the time of day. 

“Is this tantrum meant to get underneath my skin? You should know better than to test my patience. Acting like a rebellious child won’t achieve the results you expect.”

A rebellious child. What an amazing thing to call the lover whose attention you’re so desperate for. As for getting underneath his skin, his reaction proved this was an effective method to get him angry. It isn’t like you hadn’t known before. Tasman hated being ignored. 

You’d pretended to give him the silent treatment after a mini dispute when the two of you were arguing when you were younger and he’d followed you around the village, asking if you were angry with him repeatedly past the disappearance of the sun. His young worried face was too pitiful to ignore, but you sensed something ominous the longer you refused to speak to him. 

The two of you grew up together. If he though you didn’t know about the things he liked and disliked, he was sorely mistaken. 

Getting comfortable as you gazed out in the distance to view the vast forest beyond the city made him clench his jaw so tightly you thought he’d break it. You had to tell yourself not to smile, but it was hard to resist a slight quirk at the edge of your lips. 

“I am trying my best to give you what you want. As long as you don’t ask for ridiculous things, I can award the world to you. Please, just talk to me.”

As if your freedom was a menial desire. You no longer had the ability to choose what you ate, what you wore, whether or not you went outside, all things you’d surely taken for granted before you were whisked away to this sacred cell of his. It might’ve seemed ridiculous to argue about what you decided to wear or whether or not you were going to eat, but at the end of the day they were the only options you had. 

Your basic liberty was seen as a luxury, as something that only he could grant if you were on your best behavior and it made you want to gouge his eyes out for acting as if he was being so benignant. 

A small huff was all you let out in response to his words, telling yourself not to let him anger you, you tried thinking of what you would do if you got the chance to start over. Would you live on a farm? Maybe marry and help your significant other with their responsibilities whether they be a restaurant owner with an inn or a blacksmith that managed swords for new and upcoming adventurers. You didn’t think you could be a scholar. Not that your intelligence was inadequate, on the contrary. It would’ve been your first choice in terms a well-paying job if you weren’t afraid of feeling suffocated in the offices scholars tended to inhabit. 

You had enough of enclosed spaces. Working on a farm could provide the fresh air you desperately yearned for and smithing while running a shop would provide you with plenty of opportunities to meet people from all sorts of backgrounds. Both would be hard work. Especially if you compared the leisurely role as the hero’s hostage where you could be waited on hand and foot if you so desired, but you’d take anything if it meant a life beyond his obsessive desperation. 

Knocked out of your daydream by the sound of footsteps coming closer to where you were, you tensed when he sat beside you, his body pressing into your side as he begged for your eyes. 

“Can’t you see that I’m doing my best?” His hand tentatively touched your back before he slowly wrapped it around waist, eyes sliding slowly to your lips and then your neck. 

How long had it been since you’d allowed him near you. You were hell bent on scratching at him like a feral animal whenever he came near, both with your hands and words so he’d wanted to give you space to soothe your anger, but the longer he kept his distance, the more you required from him. 

Shying away from his touch when he wanted to embrace you, his eyes when the two of you took meals together, his words when he professed his love for you. It was a wonder that you let him as close as you did in this moment. 

Pulling you closer, he whispered, “I’m trying.” before placing lips on your neck, bordering on your collarbone, as his hands squeezed your side. 

His desire for you hadn’t waned in the slightest. 

Tasman believed after so many lives and time apart his desperate craving would have been relieved, but it had only grown stronger. He was plagued with thoughts of your body writhing underneath his, wondering how your skin would feel as his rough hands fought to be gentle. How each and every inch of you would taste, whispering how he’d take his time to memorize everything, from the way you moved to the sounds you would make. 

How you would look…

Head snapping to him, the hopeful sentiment splintered at the sight of utter revulsion in your eyes. 

Shielding his broken heart with anger, he grabbed the collar of your shirt before you could move away and pinned you against the window. 

“What are you hiding?” he asked, voice seething as he regarded you suspiciously. 

You were frozen in shock, unsure where this outburst came from. One moment, he was attempting seduce you, the next he was angry, practically choking you as he shoved you against the magic enforced glass. 

“You’ve never been this quiet and the minute I get close you try to move away, did someone give you something to leave me? A key?” 

He began pulling at your clothes, shocking you further as the fabric began to rip away, beginning to expose every inch of your body. 

“A magic circle?” 

His accusations continued and despite you breaking your silence to yell for him to stop, pushing him away, and holding on to the clothes he began to remove, he refused until your clothes were in a tattered heap on the floor. 

Shielding your nudity, you glared at him, his cold gaze regarded you closely. 

“You’re crazy.” you told him, trying to keep your voice from wavering from the sheer embarrassment and shame you felt from not being able to stop him. 

He was the hero. Your strength was comparable to a grain of sand if he was your opponent, but the rationalization didn’t make you feel any better. 

His eyes seemed to soften at your words, becoming more focused but not completely losing the haze they confined. 

“I’m sorry,” he began, “But you have to understand my hesitancy to trust you given your actions in the past.” His eyes made you shiver at the way they roamed across your figure, looking unapologetic as studied you, eyes lingering in the areas you shielded. 

“Get out.” you said through gritted teeth, unable to shake the ugly discomfort in your gut. 

You needed him to leave. He had to go if you were going to feel comfortable and safe. 

“This is my room as well.”

“Get. Out.”

“I understand that my reaction may have been a bit rough, but there is no reason for you to be upset to this degree. If you had simply talked to me, it wouldn’t have come to this.”

Standing up, you couldn’t stop yourself from getting into his face as you yelled, “Get out, you asshole!”

A hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer as lips were suddenly on yours. You struggled against his hold, momentarily forgetting to shield yourself as your fists beat against his body, attempting to shove him off of you or arch your body away from his kiss, but he followed you. 

Your voice was muffled by the tongue that attempted to slither its way past your defenses, feeling hot as it battled your for dominance yet strangely like iron when you attempted to crush your teeth around it. Pain reverberated through your skull and Tasman took you momentary docility as an opportunity to take things further. 

Pulling you to the bed, he continued to kiss you passionately, flinging away his gloves as his hand roamed from your chest to harshly squeezing your ass before rubbing your legs and stroking your inner thigh. 

You felt him smile in the kiss when he felt your body trembling, your glare slowly melding with fear the longer his assault continued without pause. 

When he finally  backed away, you were breathing hard and in an attempt to catch your breath, your chest heaving from the lack of oxygen. 

Tasman smiled, satisfied with the way you responded, he began to slide a wandering hand up and up your leg. Fingers calloused from continuous monster subjugation, you flinched away from his unrepentant touch before your hand intercepted his before he got too close. 

“Tasman, stop. Get off of me.”

Looking into your eyes, you wanted to shrivel at the sight of his glare. 

Why did you continue to push him away‽ 

Gripping your forearms, he forced them to the bed as he got in your face. 

“Is there some other bastard you’d prefer to be doing this with?”

What?

“I didn’t think to have the barrier react if you got too close to someone else. I didn’t think I’d have to worry about anyone from our village unless you’d managed to attract some useless noble up here.”

“There’s no one.” you said, deciding against lying and saying you did have a secret lover in case he burned the capital down looking for them. 

“You’re lying.” he said, squeezing your arms tighter as he glared at you. 

You were tired of hearing things like that from him of all people. 

“How am I supposed to meet someone if you keep me locked in this room‽” you shouted, struggling beginning anew. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything about it. 

“You’d find a way.” he said, releasing one of your arms to caress your face. “You simply love torturing me.”

His thumb brushed against your lip, a hidden desire springing to life as his eyes met yours. 

“If you’re telling the truth, I can’t understand why you’re being obstinate about this.” 

Leaning closer, he brought his lips to the space just below your ear as he placed a chaste kiss there. “I simply want to make the person I love feel good.” he said, voice taking on a sultry tone. 

If it had been three lifetimes ago, you would’ve considered it. 

If it’d been the year before he barged into your escape and confined you after, you might’ve considered it. 

Even as every piece of your heart rejected him, your soul was desperately pleading for you to forgive him, to take this opportunity to climb into his arms and love him how you were always meant to, but you wouldn’t. 

You wouldn’t disgrace the you who’d discovered what heartbreak was after a first, second, and third failed love. You wouldn’t betray the you whose hands had grown old and wrinkled, waiting for something that would never come. You wouldn’t forgive him as long as he continued to act as if he had done nothing wrong while demanding you give him your everything, everything you would’ve happily handed over if he’d considered what it felt like to be repeatedly betrayed by the very person your soul constantly cried out for. 

“I don’t ever want to see you again.”

He froze, fear coiling around your insides at the expression on his face that you couldn’t see. His hand loosened around your forearm, gripping the bed, you thought he was finally coming to his senses before you heard the bed creak. 

The suffocating weight of his magic presence hit you a moment later, making you want to gag, but a hand clamped around your mouth, forcing your head to the bed before you could turn over and dry heave. 

“Lover, how cruel.”

He looked at you with an expression that you couldn’t distinguish as anger or sorrow, but it was terrifying. 

His mouth made its way to your neck, kissing you sensually before his teeth buried themselves into your skin, drawing blood and eliciting a muffled scream from you at the vicious way his teeth pierced your body. 

Your hands tried to push him away, both wrapping around his wrist to uncover his hand from your mouth, but he ignored your attempts. Turning your head to the side, his ran his tongue across the teeth marks he made, pouring enough magic into the wound so it would stop bleeding, but not enough to get rid of the mark or alleviate the pain you felt. 

“I love you.” he sighed, his hand coming up as he caressed the side of your body, resting before his thumb caressed your nipple. 

You gaped at him with petrified eyes, unable to move at the cold gaze he stared you down with as he continued to press chaste kisses into your neck, trailing to your chest. 

He removed his hand from your mouth, using both to focus on teasing your body. 

“T-Tasman,” you began in a quiet voice, but the look in his eyes silenced you. 

“Shhhh.” 

Tipping your head up by your chin, he pecked you on the lips before placing a kiss on your nose and forehead. 

“I’m just going to show you how much I love and I want peace and quiet, okay?”

Memories of a barn flooded your mind as you thought back to your younger days when you had last tried to use the silent treatment with Tasman. Bruised hands held together above your head, hay prickling your skin, and heavy breathing from above. 

“Not a single word, lover.”

Tasman had never reacted well to the silent treatment.

[draclula]

“Magic and Desserts” lyney x f!reader

chapter 1

Summary: as Lyney is coming back from Caesar’s grave he hears something.

author’s note: the explanation is very vague but bear with me 🙏😭

word count: 1.1k

It was a late afternoon, Lyney had visited Caesar’s grave and was nearing the outskirts of Poisson. The scenery was quite nice. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining low near the horizon and the sky was warm orange tone. Everything was nice until.. he heard something. 

A blood curdling scream and the sound of monsters nearby. Lyney ran to see what was happening. When he peered above the hill he saw the figure of a girl in her late teens that was struggling to sho away 3 hilichurls. He quickly drew out his bow and shouted “I will shoot them don’t move too much!”. You were crouching near a hazelnut tree, holding a thick branch in your hands that was somewhere near a meter. The hilichuls looked behind them to face the magician and that was your chance to slip away. He shot one of them in the head causing it to fall backwards dead. The other two monsters charged at Lyney, who was slowly taking some steps back *phew* another arrow was launched and killed the second hilichurl. And just when the third one  was about to hit him *bonk* the monster laid unconscious on the ground. You have hit him with that thick branch of yours. “Are you alright?” you shakily asked. “Yes, are YOU alright?” he dropped his bow on the ground as he tried to keep you from falling on the ground. “I am fine, it’s…. the adrenaline..” you said trying to collect yourself from what just happened “ I’ve never done this before hah..” you smiled at him panting. 

Lyney escorted you to your house in Poisson makeing sure everything was really okay before leaving you. “Please wait here for a moment.” you asked him and quickly ran inside your house. He stood there a as you walked back to him. “Here, a ‘Thank you’ present for saving me.” you said, handing him a lemon dessert. He looked stun for a moment and said “Oh no, please I couldn’t possibly take this!” “I insist. You save me from those hilichurls, Archons know what could have happened to me if you weren’t there! So please, take it.” you replied with a determined frown on your face. Lyney signed “Well I guess they’re really isn’t telling you ‘no’ then, but only if you do me a favour.” you cocked your head. “I want to see your smile.”. He smirked a bit after seeing your flushed face. “M-my smile?” you stuttered “Yes, as if you saw something very dear to you!” he instructed lightly. You lowered your gaze, seemingly spacing out a bit, before a soft smile appeared. “There it is! A young lady’s most powerful weapon is her smile, so please smile more.” His kind words were something else, but right when he was about to slip out. “Mister! Your lemon dessert!” “Nothing really escapes your eyes, huh.”.

“Freminet! Do you know where Lynette is?” Lyney asked his brother “I thinks she said she was going to the café. Didn’t she tell you?” Well she did but her dear twin was busy with training some new card tricks and couldn’t hear a thing. “Thank you!” He shouted and ran out, not hearing his question.

He was looking over at the tables to find Lynette which was honestly not so hard, but there was someone familiar near her. 

“Sooo what do you think of this chocolate chalk dessert?” “Mmmm, it’s not too bad, you said that this recipe was from Sumeru, yeah?” “‘Too bad’?! What do you mean by that!” Lynette was talking to no other girl but you and you were… serving her a… dessert? “Well hello ladies!” Lyney greeted you both, pulled his hat down to his chest and bowed low. “Oh, hello brother.” Lynette said while you stood beside her. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to practice new card tricks.” Dumbfounded you asked “W-wait, you know each other?” the girl looked up at you “Such a foolish question, we are twins.” “You never told me you had a twin brother!” your jaw dropped almost to the floor. Lyney chuckled a bit “You are the hazelnuts girl if I am not mistaken?” your gaze moved to him “Ah, yes! I never introduced myself properly, my name is [name]. Nice to meet you mister…” you shifted your hand to shake his. Lyney was actually a bit surprised that you didn’t recognise him “Lyney, my name is Lyney, Madmoiselle.” He grasped your hand as he bowed just so he can kiss your hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”. Your face was bright red, no one has done this to you before and it felt… good, you felt giddy and appreciated. “Sadly though we have to part.” he let go of your hand and stood up, his eyes darting to Lynette who was actively trying to avoid him, slowly eating the dessert you made. “Come on Lynette, we have a rehearsal.” “Ah, can I at least  finish my dessert?” she pleaded. Then you asked perplexed “A rehearsal? Are you actors? Or do you do doll theatres?” Just when the girl with a low ponytail was about to tell you that they do magic shows, her brother explained “Yes, you can say we are kind of like actors. We actually have a show coming up this Saturday, could you like to come and see it?”. He was up to something. “Oh, I could love to, but I don’t know if I will be able to. We usually have a large amount of customers in the weekends so I should not dare to make promises.” you apologised, sadness can be seen in your eyes. Lyney was not fazed by that response and instead reassured “Oh well, if you aren’t sure if you will be available, we can save you a spot in the front, just in case.” He winked and waited for a response. You couldn’t possibly refuse such an invitation, and after all, this was a perfect opportunity to de-stress a bit. “I can see what I can do!” eyes lit with fiery determination and brows in a slight frown. Lyney thought it was adorable. “[name] I need some help, quit the chit-chat please!” you heard your brother yell from behind the café counter. “I’m coming right up! Goodbye!” and off you go. 

“Why didn’t you tell her we are magicians?” Lynette asked interested in what her twin had as an excuse. “Oh it’s not important! And, you know, I like the face of a surprise on my audience.” his smug half-lie could fool anyone, but not and her. “As you say..” the girl sighed and kept on walking alongside him.

“What did Mr. Lyney have to say to you?” Your brother looked at your back as you started walking off to the the back door. You turned around to face him “Wait, you know him too?”. “[name], what kind of a question is this? Who doesn’t know ‘Lyney, The Great Magician’?” he looked at you with crossed arms and a slight smile. “‘Lyney, the..’ no way.. THAT WAS LYNEY THE MAGICIAN??”

Tag list is open!

[sunshine-jesse]

Progress Report #2 Analysis

I'm not going to type a lot for this one. Not as much as I usually do, anyways.

I think these two moments happen in sequence. The "..." might be in response to Lord Unknown giving soul!Andrew flowers.

It looks like getting soulnapped fucks with your memories. Note how the dream world in this screenshot is styled entirely differently from other dream worlds; it looks like a fusion between both kinds of dream worlds (the demon dreams, and the 'unaided' dreams).

I think each room corresponds to an event in their childhoods, and each one will contain a different flashback, some of which featured in the dev logs. My guesses:

lower right hand > apartment upper right hand-> ??? lower left hand-> lemon cupcake store? upper left hand-> nina

It's interesting that the demon trees are primarily located in the lower left hand one.

Also, the happy faces are masks. I shouldn't need to explain that metaphor.

I'm guessing one of two things: 1. The 'real world' segments are from a different path entirely (decay), and Andrew got soulnapped because he fucked around and found out in the demon dream world, like Ashley almost does if she picks the right door in herfirst dream. 2. or, the real world segments are what lead up to the dream world ones, and we're still on the same path.

Assuming it's the first, this screenshot from dev log 4 could be what leads to all these flashback shenanigans, as it'd be where Andrew fucks around and subsequently finds out:

Moving on:

If we are to assume that the Decay vision is NOT a metaphor, and the 'real world' segments are in Decay, this could be what leads to the events in said vision, since I believe that the visions will happen early within each episode. The "real world" segments are so jarringly different from the flashback/dream segments in the dev logs that it's hard not to think they're each from different paths, and it's pretty easy to see a narrative throughline for each whereas there's little connecting the two different ones together.

My heart tells me this is a wedding ring but my brain tells me this is also in Decay, so it'll be tragic and painful rather than cute.

I'll post more as I think of more, maybe.