#undiagnosed world

[undiagnosedsworld-blog]

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Θολές και απελπιστες σκέψεις όπως τις σκέφτεται ένας .... σαν και εμένα

[inkskinned]

one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.

but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.

you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.

and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.

you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?

the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.

[uncanny-tranny]

Piggybacking off this post I made last night, but I think two things can be true at once:

Being diagnosed or undiagnosed can both be disadvantages. Neither a state of diagnosis nor undiagnosis can be more "beneficial" because both can be harmful dependent on the situation. We need to be open to the possibility that a diagnosis can be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither, and not having a diagnosis can also be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither.

Basically, disability is complex. We live in an ableist world that simultaneously demands disabled people adhere to strict standards but also just not exist in the first place. It's hard enough to navigate diagnosis, and making it harder is only going to harm us, not abled people. They don't care about the intricacies of disability, more often than not.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

As a kid my family used to make fun of me for stuff that is apparently exclusively reserved for “old people” like rolling across the room in a rolly chair to grab something (instead of getting up and taking three steps) or sitting down at a table to do quick food prep like cut fruit or scramble an egg (instead of just standing at the counter for 90 seconds) TURNS OUT what they called laziness was just disability all along haha TURNS OUT I just needed a mobility aid yet here I am today still without one because they gaslit me into believing I was “just lazy” and it took me decades to finally understand that’s not true. haha who knew

[truck-stop-tiger]

My hottest take is that Clementine has an elementary school reading level. Is she intelligent? Absolutely. But she also stopped attending school in first grade. She’s insecure about not knowing her multiplication tables.

[angeltannis]

The fact that Symmetra’s seemingly only childhood friend was a boy she fundamentally disagreed with everything about and disliked pretty much everything that he stood for - and that it was exactly the same for him - is so so so funny to me. Unlikeable neurodivergent bitches gotta stick together

[princeofthequeens]

okay but dream experiencing the worst sensory overload after he's free because the world's gained several billion people since the 1910s and he's been living in almost complete silence for over a century. and also he associates loud noises with bad memories now because the only times he heard anything while in the fishbowl was either roderick or alex burgess demanding shit from him or jessamy getting shot. and he chalks it up to adjusting to life as the king of dreams in 2022, but the amount of noise and dreams and thoughts are catching up to him, until hob finally notices his bf's on the verge of a serious mental breakdown and introduces him to noise cancelling headhones and weighted blankets. and now hob's not only a safe place/person for him, he's also somewhere quiet. not in a stuck-in-a-fucking-fishbowl-in-the-basement-with-no-way-out kind of quiet, it's just peace and blankets and occasional cuddles while hob gripes about his students' grammar.

[tatsumi-rin]

Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.

Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.

[talkethtothehandeth]

Trying to not panic and not think about the fact that if this doctor doesn’t do his job, my last hope is paying for treatment out of pocket at a teaching hospital one state away because I can’t afford the mayo clinic

If I do not get treatment, I will die.

I don’t know what to think anymore

[kasumingo]

So tired of mfs going "everyone wants to be lgbt/neurodivergent now!! stop using our language!!"

it's as if the internet gave people ability to explore themselves and realize there is something going on, especially when they congregate together in groups that share those traits

It’s as if these words describe their experience and helps them in one way or another

[christiangeistdorfer]

teammates juha kankkunen and timo salonen during the 1986 rally sweden

[beemers-hell]

when I saw you posted another chapter to bfta, I literally DIED . it was genuinely moving enough for me to reread all the chapters before it (since I had in the past and was waiting very happily for the newest.) i HAVE TO SAY I ADORE how you portray every single character you write: they are all loveable and feel undoubtedly in character/lifelike to me it's insane. mind blowing. I've had genuine massive bursts of just HYSTERIA BECAUSE OF HOW HAPPY SOME OF THE INTERACTIONS IN THESE FICS GO!!! it's genuinely crazy and has been pretty much ruining my life/POS ever since I first read through. IM SO REAL AND HONEST RIGHT NOW I'm hanging on to every fucking word within an inch of my life and I swear I feel some of the struggles that are being dealt with in my bones;; they are so relatable and it's lead me to start trying to figure myself out further. I'm so excited for more chapters and I do know you're going through it so I hope you recover well 🩷

hey what if i just started fucking crying all over the place HELLO!!!!

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

I just read the new chapter and it was so good 😭

I love this story so much. And idk which possible scenario I love more, that pretty much everyone knows jamie is autistic but doesnt mention it explicitly, or that they're all like 'hmm I don't understand why jamie flaps his hands and occasionally needs to sit in a dark room but it's cool we love him as he is'

Thank you! This chapter was probably the hardest one to write but I'm really proud of how it turned out.

In my mind the team is split between 1) people who know/suspect Jamie is autistic (Isaac, Beard, Bumbercatch since he seems to have a lot of miscellaneous knowledge, Nate but only if he already knows that he's autistic); 2) people who didn't initially know Jamie's autistic but were like "I wonder why he's doing that" and did some research (Sam, Higgins, Keeley); and 3) people who don't know and are just going with it (most of the team, Ted since his distrust of therapy also gives me "accept people how they are but why do we need to name it?" vibes re: neurodivergence and mental illness, Roy but only if he hasn't knowingly met any other autistic people)

[kiwi-smug-silvalina]

Scene: Mother, father and I are sitting in a car. Father and Mother are having yet another stupid argument. I want to garnet roll out of the car bur unfortunately I am not garnet.

[super-license]

not this being one of the top asked questions on google when you search daniel's name djsakgjdsa 💀

[octoagentmiles]

hello hello hello, i come bearing headcanons for my dearest octoagents <3 the old mens™

angst cw for some of em, woops- (mentions/descriptions of anxiety, and implied trauma)

Natquik:

the Antarctica Incident had a much greater toll on him than he realizes. he's just ✨ Fine™ ✨ y'know? nbd <3 (he's not fine somebody please hug him-)

has a Thing about things breaking/not working. it causes him to immediately panic and have a million thoughts rush through his head about how he'll survive the weather, how much food he has, etc., even if it's something small.

he also doesn't like being alone for too long. you'd think he'd be "used to it", but nope.

but on the bright side: contrary to popular belief, he wasn't completely alone while trapped. he befriended a lot of penguins. mostly against his will, but still.

1000000000% views Barnacles as his son but he'll never admit it.

so gosh darn fluffy. basically canon but yeah. aside from the adorableness it's kinda a burden because he'd probably overheat really fast if he left his station.

fluent in Russian, and used to have a habit of muttering Impolite Words™ under his breath—until reuniting with a grown-up Barnacles who picked up some Russian in his worldly travels. now he only does it in private.

he watched the great penguin race. he saw and/or heard Barnacles there, but wasn't sure if it was him. they left before he worked up the courage had a chance to talk to them.

Calico Jack:

mmmmmmmmmm. undiagnosed autistic. masks really well but only among other pirates, who have completely different social rules and whatnot. he's struggling now because he doesn't know how to mask anymore. he doesn't need to, because literally all the Octonauts are neurodivergent, but pshh

he's going through a redemption arc in his head. no one else knows about it because everyone likes him already and thinks he's great, but he can't see that.

his leg will start to hurt really bad if he runs on it too much—he tries to avoid it if he can, but sometimes he's stubborn, or just forgets (until it's too late).

three words: phantom limb syndrome.

has anxiety and gets nightmares. he's good at hiding it, but sometimes a really bad one will bother him for a day or two.

Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Su-

wrote hundreds of letters to Kwazii when he was in the Amazon, but never sent them. he still wants to give them to him one day.

his eyepatch used to be covering the opposite eye—that's why Kwazii's is on that side, and why his statue (slime eels) and mini carving (pirate parrotfish) both have it on the wrong way. he switched it over when he left to hide live in the Amazon.

Marsh:

genuinely forgets that he's green sometimes. someone will comment on it and he'll be like "????? oh right–"

sings; he used to make up road trip songs with Tweak when she was little. he still knows them all by heart.

slightly hard of hearing (for rabbit standards). hi @timegays. you did this to me /pos

Him 🤝 Barnacles: separation anxiety and a secret fear of storms. i will not elaborate further <3

highkey a dad to 90% of the Everglades creatures. every single one of them is like family to him.

he grew up side-by-side with a lot of the older swamp critters (Belle The Turtle, & maybe Flo The Flamingo), he considers them like his siblings.

his first name is literally "Ranger": he had it legally changed, so that he and Tweak (who decided to go by "Tweak" when she got into engineering) could both be named after their interests.

unintentionally inspired Tweak's engineering special interest. that motorboat he has in The Alligator-Shark? it used to break down constantly, until he taught her how to fix it. she fixed it ONCE and it never broke down again. it gave her such a rush of euphoria that she went around fixing everything, and eventually building new things. and she just,, never stopped.