#unnecessary emotional escalation

[eternally--mortal]

So I just came across this video for the first time and I wanted to say something about it —as in, I feel compelled. It was captioned with the sentence “this is the perfect response to a 4-year-old who thinks she’s ugly.” The video I’ve linked of the scenario is a little longer and is outlined fully below. It is captioned “Little Girl Says She is Ugly And is Quickly Corrected.” I’ll let you draw your own conclusions when I’ve said my piece.

The woman in this video seems to be a very loving woman who has deep and loving concerns for the child involved. I’m going to let you know what I think about how she tried to help.

Let’s take it apart piece by piece:

Hairdresser (family friend): For real, like I’m not even playing with you. You won’t even like it.

Child: I’m so ugly.

—let’s take a moment and look at the situation. The little girl seems to be looking towards the camera, possibly at a reflection or image of herself. She seems upset. Children tend to use big language, even when describing small situations of inconvenience, because they have a limited vocabulary. It is completely possible that this child does not like how her hair looks, either because it’s not finished yet or because she has decided she does not want this particular look or because she did not know how to ask for the look she actually wanted and feels that her desires were misinterpreted. It’s also possible that she feels ugly for an unrelated reason.

H: *gasps, seemingly horrified and shocked*

C: What?

—the child is obviously surprised. She was not particularly upset when she described that she felt ugly. It seems she felt she was stating a fact that carried no devastating emotional value. She does not understand why the adult is distressed.

H: Don’t say that! Don’t say that —Don’t say that. You are so pretty.

—the child seems confused, not by the words, but by the response. The adult here is employing what I call “shut down language.” She is denying the little girl’s feelings because the girl used a statement (“I’m so ugly”) that made the adult uncomfortable. The adult’s knee-jerk reaction suggests that she is insecure about this phrase and about hearing it from a child. Rather than exploring what the child feels and why she called herself ugly, the adult has chosen to deny the child’s feelings. Denying a child’s feelings is a big no-no in conversation. It discourages a child from trusting you with their emotional honesty, and it discourages them from exploring their own feelings. You have made them feel as though they have done something wrong by expressing an emotion or stating a ‘fact’. In turn, the adult escalates the situation by making it about their own distress rather than listening to the child and getting to the heart of the problem.

H: You— When you look at yourself you’re supposed to say “I am so pretty.” You are so pretty.

—here the child begins to look ashamed. She was not expressing negative emotion before. Just confusion. Now she is being made to feel as though she has done something wrong. She looks away from the woman and at the floor. The woman in question is now giving her more orders. Now the girl is being told that she is not allowed to express negative emotions about herself or feel bad about her appearance. She is only allowed to call herself pretty, even when she does not feel pretty. The adult keeps using the word ‘pretty,’ but she is not describing what she means. Children appreciate specific information. Instead this woman is repeating the phrase as though it were a condemnation on the child. Her tone suggests that the child has done something wrong.

H: Do you hear me?

—the woman grabs the face of the child and forces her to look up. She has not allowed the child to speak. She continues to escalate the situation. Her actions suggest that this child is not allowed to express any type of autonomy in an emotional situation—emotional or physical. This woman seems to be acting out of kind-hearted desperation. She does not understand how to step back.

H: You got the prettiest little dimples. You are too cute. Aww…

C: *begins to cry*

—Now the child starts to cry. Do you see how the adult has escalated the situation? What could have been an easy moment of ‘You feel ugly? Tell me about that.’ And ‘your hair? I understand. It can be really hard to feel beautiful when your hair is only partially finished. Let me show you some pictures so you know what it’ll look like when we’re done. If you still don’t like it, then next time we can try something different’ suddenly turns into a complicated situation and a child in tears. A child who was not distressed before suddenly becomes deeply confused, unexpectedly ashamed, and emotionally distressed because the adult in the room didn’t bother asking her a few questions and letting her speak. Just look at how little the child has spoken in this interaction.

H: Aryionna, oh you gon’ make me cry.

C: *cries harder*

—now the child is being told that she is responsible for this woman’s emotional distress —that if she expresses ‘negative’ emotions openly, it is going to have a negative impact on the people around her —that she is responsible for keeping her composure, or else she is going to hurt people —that she is doing something wrong by expressing distress over a situation that this woman escalated

H: You’re not ugly. Baby girl. Oh my God, Aryionna. You’re not ugly. Baby girl.

—a repetition of emotional denial and escalation, stated in a voice that is distressed and accusatory

H: You are so pretty. You look like you have this beautiful chocolaty skin, like you are just so gorgeous. You’ve got these dimples. Remember what I told you? How many people got two dimples? Nobody.

—finally we are being specific. We are identifying specific traits that a child can observe and relate to in order to help her understand what is meant by ‘pretty.’ This is positive, because it grounds the child in the conversation. The issue is that we still don’t understand exactly why the child called herself ugly, therefore the added information may only cause more distress, because all of a sudden we’re bringing up new topics that the child might not have considered without allowing the child to address the old topic. Now we’re telling the child to split her attention between processing the old information and the new, as well as escalating her emotional distress without allowing her to speak. Specifics are very positive for a child, but only when she has the chance to process them properly.

H:You got two, let me see you smile! Let me see, let me see. You got two dimples! I don’t even have two dimples! Girl, let me see your teeth. Look at them pretty white teeth.

—now a child who has been carried into emotional distress is being told by the perpetrator that she needs to smile. Have you ever been told to smile by someone when you’re in emotional distress? Because I have. It doesn’t go over well. It sends the message ‘this person has no interest in my actual emotions. They don’t want to help me process anything. They don’t want to listen to me. They don’t want to deal with me. They want the instant gratification of seeing me smile because if they can control my outward appearance and make me look happy, they no longer feel obligated to worry whether I actually am happy.’ Never tell another person to smile when they are in emotional distress. You are making the situation about you rather than attending to their needs. Even children can understand this. Emotionally, they are hurt from being told to smile, even if they don’t know the words yet to describe exactly what they’re feeling and why. I can tell you, at this moment this child is likely feeling uglier and less loved than she was at the beginning of the conversation. The adult here is trying very hard to fix the situation, but she is making it more about her than she is about the child. She feels a need to control and fix rather than to trust and listen. Emotional conversations require mutual respect. That means trusting a child to emotionally sort through something without you giving them orders.

H: No, you’re not gon’ cry.

—now the child is being told that she is not allowed to cry. She has been led to believe that referring to herself as ugly is shameful wrongdoing that leads to tears. She has been told that she is not allowed to feel negatively about her appearance. She has been told that she is required to feel beautiful. She has been told that any other feeling is invalid. She has been told that she is responsible for managing her emotions so that other people do not feel distressed as well. She has been told she needs to smile. And now she is being told that she is not allowed to cry. She needs to bottle up her emotions in order to make the people around her feel good.

H: You are a beautiful little girl. And you are pretty. You are the prettiest girl in your class. *grabs the child’s face and turns her back so the two of them are face-to-face in close quarters, even though the child is showing signs of discomfort by turning away* Boom. Tell them straight up, when you go to school tomorrow, you’ve got your hair done, you’re gonna be like, oh look at my hair. Oh, look at my shoes. Look at my clothes. Baby girl, you are beautiful. Black is beautiful, and if nobody ever tell you, I will tell you, you are gorgeous. You are so pretty.

—so now this child is being told to compare herself to the other children in her class. What if she doesn’t feel as pretty as another girl? But she’s been told that being the prettiest is what matters. She is being told to brag about her appearance rather than investigating her internal, emotional life. She is being told that her happiness hinges on beauty and that her beauty hinges on comparison to others.

H: And you are gonna grow up, and you’re gonna be everything that you can be. You are gonna be the greatest nail tech, the greatest beautician, the greatest lawyer, the greatest doctor, the greatest teacher, whatever you wanna be. The greatest speaker, the greatest entrepreneur.

—if you tell a child they are going to be the best, but you do not give them the tools to emotionally develop, you are setting them up for failure, or at least for a very stressful and possibly lonely life. It is better to offer an open ear and a willingness to help than to put pressure on a child to be the best. This child has already been told that she’s expected to remain beautiful. Now she’s being told that she’s also expected to be successful. Not to mention, the adult in this conversation is piling on topics. This is a lot to process for a little girl without letting her actually talk through it all. And we still haven’t gotten to the heart of what actually made her feel ugly. What a horrible rollercoaster ride of emotions being thrown at a child that has been rendered too emotional to properly speak about them.

H: Whatev- What you want to be? What you wanna be when you get older?

C: *draws her hands up to her face* Uhh, the teacher.

H: You want to be, uh *pulls child’s hands down* Your teacher mean to you?

C: *nods*

H: *still holding onto child’s arms, gesturing with them* So guess what, when you become a teacher, you don’t be mean. *drops arms* *points at child’s chest* You be a nice teacher. You be- You going to be Miss- Miss Cotton. That’s what they going to call you. Miss Cotton.

—so finally the child is given a chance to speak, but the adult still fights to maintain control. She holds the little girl’s arms and moves them around. She tells the little girl what type of teacher she’s going to be. She doesn’t ask the child about it and let her speak.

H: You gotta be happy *touches child’s face where her dimples would be if she were smiling* all the time because you’re a little kid. You only four, and you should not know nothing about being ugly, because you are so beautiful.

—look, I understand what she’s saying here. She’s saying that it’s an injustice for a small child to have to endure pain and suffering. But that’s not how she’s saying it. She’s giving this information to this child as an order. All of a sudden, this little girl is being told that she’s only ever allowed to be happy. The gestures imply that happiness is signified by an outward smile rather than an internal feeling. This child is being told that she’s not allowed to know how it feels to be ugly. She’s being told that beautiful people are not allowed to express emotion because they are beautiful. She is being told that this is a good thing, and that she has no say. That is not comforting. That is extremely distressing to a small child. Children don’t process logic the same way that grown ups do. The most developed part of a child’s brain is the part that processes emotions. That’s how children make decisions. This woman is telling a small child that this child is not allowed to use the most developed part of her brain — the part that needs to grow and develop in a healthy way in order for this child to live a healthy life.

H: You hold your head up *holds the child’s cheeks between her open hands and points it upward and holds it there* You hold your head up. Okay?

—the adult is still taking full control. Her words are spoken in a demanding tone. She is not asking the child what she wants. She is not even allowing the child to hold up her own head.

H: Okay?

C: *nods*

H: can I have a hug?

C: *moves in for a hug, head angled down*

—this child is obviously still upset. More upset than she was at the beginning of this conversation

H: I love you. You are so pretty. . . . And you got a beautiful heart, and you just have some good manners.

—love is tied once again directly to beauty by verbal proximity. The beautiful heart is listed almost as an afterthought. It is being mentioned for the first time in the conversation.

H: Come on, let’s finish your hair girl.

C: No, I don’t wanna finish my hair.

—this child is expressing a concrete feeling for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. It is quite possible that her feeling of ugliness had something to do with her hair. She is trying to express a truth, which she hasn’t been allowed to properly do for this entire conversation.

H: Come on, we ain’t got no choice. We ready to get out of this chair. Come on.

—the child is told that she has no choice. That someone else is making a decision for her. That she is not allowed to express her frustration, even though the adult is allowed to escalate the situation and express her own feelings of distress.

H: Girl, you just almost made me cry, no lie. Uh-uhhh.

—the video ends with the adult holding the little girl responsible, once again, for her distress and her lack of emotional regulation.

This is not how you teach a child to love herself or to feel beautiful or to regulate emotions. This is how you teach a child to believe that adults don’t care, children aren’t allowed to express thoughts and feelings, and the voices and feelings of children don’t matter. This woman very obviously loves this child and wants to help, but even loving people can royally screw up a child by not listening and by escalating emotional distress. Nearly everything said here was emotionally damaging, not matter the motivation.

I encourage anyone who struggles in conversation — whether with children or with adults — to read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It’s not a perfect book, but it has a wealth of great principles for communicating with children that also extend to adult conversation. It’s a great help when you’re at a loss of what to say in potentially emotional conversations like these, but also in every day conversations. It does a great job of teaching how to help kids problem solve and personally develop and how to lessen the stress of engaging with another person. It helps us to translate our good motives into the proper methods so that we don’t hurt other people with shut down language and an instinctual need to maintain control or to seek instant gratification by forcing kids / other people to feel what we want them to feel.

[deception-united]

Before you kill a character...

Consider the following.

Does it advance the plot?

Killing off a character should serve a purpose in propelling the story forward. It could introduce a new conflict, escalate existing tensions, or trigger a series of events that drive the plot in a new direction. If the character's death doesn't contribute to the overall narrative arc, it might feel gratuitous or unnecessary.

Does it fulfil their personal goal?

Each character has their own arcs and objectives within the story. If the character's death aligns with or resolves their personal journey or goal, it can add depth and closure to their character arc. Conversely, if their death feels disconnected from their goals or character development, it may come across as arbitrary or unsatisfying.

Does it emphasise the theme?

The death of a character can highlight or support key themes by demonstrating their consequences or illustrating the moral dilemmas faced by the remaining characters. A well-executed death can deepen the audience's understanding of the story's themes and add layers of complexity to the narrative.

Does it motivate other characters?

Character deaths can serve as catalysts for growth or change in other characters. The loss of a loved one or ally can drive characters to reevaluate their beliefs, make difficult decisions, or embark on new paths. The impact of the death on other characters can reveal their strengths, weaknesses, and relationships, adding depth to the story's interpersonal dynamics.

Does it create realism?

The inclusion of death can lend authenticity to the story world. If the character's death feels earned and plausible within the context of the narrative, it can enhance the story's credibility and emotional resonance. However, if the death feels contrived or forced, it may strain the reader's suspension of disbelief.

Is it a fitting recompense?

In some cases, characters may meet their demise as a consequence of their actions or decisions. If the character's death serves as a form of justice or retribution for their deeds, it can feel narratively satisfying and thematically resonant. However, if the death feels arbitrary or disconnected from the character's arc or the story's events, it may feel unsatisfying or even unjustified.

Don't kill off a character for the sake of shocking the reader or invoking sadness; when considering whether to kill off a character in your story, it's crucial to ensure their demise serves a purpose beyond mere shock value or convenience. Ensure each character serves a purpose that enriches and enhances the story to avoid having to eliminate them solely for convenience. Don't use death as a means to remove an extra or irrelevant character—you shouldn't have them in the first place, if they're disposable. Doing so will undermine the depth and integrity of the narrative.

Hope this was helpful! Happy writing ❤

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[greygaunt]

How the Slytherin boys would react to jealousy

Theodore Nott

Theo and jealousy? Joined at the hip. When Theo gets jealous, his usually unbothered state turns green and he becomes possessive. Theodore was in the common room with you and the others, you were sat next to him, reading. Adrian Pucey had been giving you the eye for the last half an hour, Theo had clocked. He was not happy. It started as a hand on your thigh. You glanced up, seeing him looking across the room at Adrian. You rolled your eyes at Theo's unnecessary jealousy. It then, progressed. Theo wasn't happy that Adrian hadn't stopped giving you the eye. He was restless, frustrated and started to simmer with anger. He started squeezing your thigh, and you acknowledged him. You knew if you didn't step in, Theodore would end up with a bloody hand and Adrian wouldn't be able to breathe through his nose. “Theo, come for a smoke?" You asked, standing up in front of him and taking his hands. He grunted in reply, standing up and following you, arms around your shoulders. You got outside onto the courtyard when Theo started. “God! He would not take his eyes off you. He's lucky I didn't-" “Theo. I don't care." You interrupted him and silenced him with a kiss, knotting your hands into his hair. You smiled as he groaned into your lips.

Blaise Zabini

Blaise? Jealous? Yes. You were his. He worked hard to actually get you to be his, and he didn't like people treating you like you weren't his. Things escalated at the Slug Club Christmas dinner, you were sat with Blaise enjoying your dessert and having a conversation with Hermione about her parents. You were eating when Cormac McLaggen interrupted you. “You've got some cream on your nose." He smirked as you blushed. Blaise looked up from his glass and gently took your chin in his hand, turning your face so he could remove the cream. He half smiled at you as you melted into his touch. “You're welcome, beautiful." Cormac interjected. You gave him a polite barely a smile. “Oi. Read the room. She's not yours." You watched as Blaise looked over at Cormac. Cormac scoffed in reply and rolled his eyes. You watched as the cogs in Blaise's brain started turning. "Blaise, don't." You whispered. Too late. A profiterole had hit Cormac square in the forehead. You snorted as he ran away, Blaise squeezing your thigh and acting like nothing had happened. Feigned innocence, always.

Draco Malfoy

Draco is a moody kind of jealous. He gets envious. You found it so easy to just float above everything that frustrated him. Everyone admired that about you. Apart from him. He didn't understand how things just didn't bother you. He doesn't get jealous of others, just you. His envy comes from a place of discomfort, he is jealous of the letters you receive from your mum every week, and the smiles you get from all the professors. He wishes he shone like you. You can tell when he is second guessing himself. Instead of getting angry or upset with his frustrations, he pours them all into love for you. You know, without him needing to tell you. You spend time together in the astronomy tower, sharing conversations about your day or the class work you have. He eventually stops talking and you don't ask why, you just let him kiss you. You share a heated, tangled kiss fuelled with emotion, his heart melts and yours swells. As much as he is envious of you being so regulated, he doesn't know that you're envious of his passion, and the way he spits like an agitated flame.

Lorenzo Berkshire

Lorenzo isn't usually the jealous type. He's secure, confident and knows that you’re infatuated with him, as he is you. Despite this, sometimes he can't help himself. Cormac fucking Mc Laggen had been pining after you for weeks, despite you making it very obvious you were with Enzo. He didn't seem to take the hint. Enzo quietly stewed as he watched McLaggen take another approach, putting a hand on your shoulder and sitting next to you. Enzo began to boil under the surface. He walked over to where you were sat, shooting daggers into the back of Cormac’s head with his eyes. "Is McLaggen bothering you, love?" McLaggen turned to look at Enzo and rolled his eyes. “Seems like you're interrupting, mate." Enzo's eyes narrowed, keeping his cool but you knew steam would be coming from his ears in seconds if Cormac didn't take the hint. “Take a hint, mate." Enzo laced your fingers with his, pulling you to your feet and out of the Great Hall.

Mattheo Riddle

Mattheo enjoys being jealous. I mean, it just gives him an excuse to show off his right hook. People just love to piss him off. What he didn't expect - was you being the jealous one. Slytherin had won a quidditch match that morning, and there was a party going on in the common room. A sea of green bodies all dancing, the music making the walls shake. You were slightly buzzed, dancing with Mattheo. “I'm gonna get some air." You said, motioning to your mouth with your fingers, mimicking a cigarette. You took Theo with you, just to the courtyard and you shared a cigarette. Heading back into the common room, Theo pointed out a girl in the year below trying to give Mattheo a drink, pressing herself to his chest. He looked very disinterested. “Poor girl, what a mistake she's made." Theo muttered as he shook his head and walked away towards Lorenzo, watching you make a beeline for the girl. “Excuse me? Go and slobber somewhere else." Mattheo's eyebrows raised as he watched you shoo away the girl, pride beaming from his eyes. “Damn. You're a bitch when you're buzzed." You looked at him and put your hands on his chest. “No, I'm a bitch when people touch what's mine." He smirked down at you, putting his hands on your hips. “I'm yours, am I?" You rolled your eyes. “Yes, you are." You both shared a drunken kiss, absorbing the atmosphere of the party and being surrounded by your friends. Mattheo's ego was certainly inflated.

[midnight-black2]

UAAHHSHWHEBW FINALLY SOMEONE WRITING FOR DOM READER😭

anyway can u write anything about Kai please 🥹 (I always thought he would be a perfect sub lol)

-𝘹𝘰𝘹𝘰

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒

pairing : kai (from voyagers) x reader

synopsis : kai needs to be put in his place, and who better to do it than you?

disclaimers : sub!kai, dom!reader, degradation, handjob, masochist!kai (only a little), mean!reader, kinda fast pace (sorry)

note : i had to watch voyagers to make this, but it was so worth it because like why is kai so fine?? like he's an asshole, but a hot one. anyways, hope you like this !

kai had been acting like an ass-kissing, cock-sucking dickwad ever since richard died.

for some context, he sucked up to zach, the person you hated most out of the entire crew. he would laugh at all of zach's rather rude jokes, they would walk through the ship halls together, standing tall with unnecessary pride as if they were God or something. you weren't quite sure what was happening, but you knew it had to do with the blue.

kai was a smart, sweet boy. but that was before. he would cross his legs at the table, speak with manners, he would even service others at times, especially you. whether it was making a plate for you (he seemed to always know what you wanted to eat), or carrying heavy things for you. but that was before. all of it was before. before everyone stopped taking the blue. before richard died. before you all needed a new group leader.

it all went to shit.

every single little thing. there was no in between, you either followed all the rules, or broke all of them. you believed in balance, it was the only thing that keeps people sane, yet there was none. you had been going crazy for weeks. with all of the noise, the ferocity, the smell of sweat and sex, everything was so overbearing, and nobody did anything about it. so when kai got hit in the head as a result of a fight and there was a meeting called over it, you were fed up. blue got rid of the emotions, and now that there wasn't any blue, and the emotions were getting in the way of everything.

"i for one don't know if there is an alien," the girl spoke. you didn't know her name, all you knew was that she was constantly doing the right thing. she was a little boring, but you didn't hate her or anything. her eyes were lowered, not daring to look zach or christopher in the eye.

"who cares what you don't know," zach spoke, annoyedly. you clenched your jaw, couldn't he just let the girl speak?

"if we repair the damage we can watch the surveillance video and-" she was cut off by zach.

"shut your fat, puss-filled face," you scoffed. how low, even for him. you saw the way kai snickered, you felt like slapping the two of them then and there. you pinched kai's right thigh, giving him a look of warning. he looked over to you, he gulped, yet rolled his eyes anyway.

"i have a right to talk," she responded, finally looking zach in the eye.

"you talk enough as it is, you bloated wheezing blister," he countered, with a smirk. everyone started laughing, including kai. you felt your blood boil. she was only trying to make a point.

"zach, she can talk," christopher interfered.

"you shut up too," zach muttered. he went on, and it escalated. it almost ended in the same way the fight ended last time. it was all a blur--everyone split up. kai and half of the others followed behind zach. you had it with him. you gripped his arm harshly. you pulled him down the hall, luckily no one noticed the two of you leave.

"y/n," kai called, brows furrowed, he was a bit angry. "y/n, what are you doing?"

"shut up," you ordered, through gritted teeth. he quickly complied, his breath hitched. you went inside an empty sleeping quarter, shutting and locking the door.

"you've been such a fucking brat lately, kai,"

"y-you can't do anything about it," he replied, stuttering, voice shaky. he knew damn well you could. you had this odd sort of control over him he couldn't quite understand. with the snap of your fingers he would be on his knees, consciously or not.

"yeah? watch me," you challenged. you crossed your arms over your chest, your patience was growing thin. "strip."

"w-what?" he was shaking slightly, eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips.

"you heard me, strip." he listened. it seemed an ounce of obedience was still left in him--only for you, though. he started with his shirt, pulling it over his head. he was lean, toned. you couldn't help but stare, you would've smirked if you weren't so frustrated. he felt your eyes, they were gaping burning holes all over into his body.

he slowly unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down, leaving him in only his boxers. you walk over to him, and grip his raging hard-on.

"all you do anymore is think with your stupid cock," you spit out, looking him right in the eye. he let out a soft whimper. you swiftly backed him up against the nearest wall. you were surely manhandling him, but who was he to tell you not to? you pulled down his boxers, and they sat at his feet. he breathing picked up.

it was embarrassing, to say the least. he was naked and you were completely clothed. he felt so vulnerable, but it was even more embarrassing that he liked it. your hand wrapped around his cock, you squeezed quite harshly. you had forgotten how big he was, probably a good 8.5" when hard.

"fuck, y/n," kai groaned. did it hurt? yes. did it only enhance his pleasure? also yes.

"seriously kai? you get in a fight over a girl. you get hit in the head with a metal rod, yet you're over here whimpering like a bitch when i simply squeeze your dick? a little pathetic," you utter, a brow arched.

"please," he let out, subconsciously. he cursed himself internally, he knew you would only be harsher on him now.

"please what, kai? please fucking what? i don't feel like giving you shit. you take what i give you," you responded. you brought your fingers to his mouth, thumb prodding at his lips. "open."

he did as he was told, and allowed your fingers to explore his mouth. you pushed them as deep as they'd go before he gagged softly. he shut his eyes. as humiliated as he felt, your fingers were quite warm. you took them out, and he sort of disliked the absence of you digging around in his mouth. god, he thought he was so weird.

your hand returned to his cock, wrapping around it and pumping up and down quickly, without warning. he cried out, gripping your shoulder.

"goodness, look at you. wish someone would walk in right now. hear the way you moan and whine weakly. they'd figure out so quickly you're not quite as high and mighty as you make yourself out to be," you chuckle, looking at him writhe. although he was taller than you, it still felt as though he were underneath you.

"s-shit, y/n," he moaned, hips bucking. your free hand gripped his waist, keeping it pinned to the wall.

"stay still." you instructed, your hand on his cock speeding up a bit. kai's knees buckled, he felt his mind was mush, he was shaky and all thoughts of you consumed him.

"fuck y/n, i think im gonna cum," kai warned, opening his eyes to take a peek at you. he couldn't handle it. the way you looked so angry, so ready to snap him in half. if he kept looking at you, he would surely cum right that second.

"already? that's a little sad, don't you think?" you teased, hand on his waist making its way up his chest. you pinch his left nipple harshly, and he whimpers once again.

"oh my god," he moans. you could feel his entire body shaking and jolting with every move you made. "can i?"

"cum? i don't know. why should i even let you?" you asked, only wanting to hear him beg.

"please. fuck, please let me cum. i need to i really need to. i'm sorry! i'll-ill keep my mouth shut when you want me to," kai pleaded. you, at last, gave in.

"go ahead, cum," you said. he let go with a loud moan, anyone directly outside the door could probably hear. you moved to the side just in time so his mess wouldn't touch you.

"o-oh, fuck," he panted, sliding down the wall, sitting on the floor. you kneeled, your hand placed on his cheek.

"you learn your lesson?" you asked, smirking complacently.

"maybe." you rolled your eyes at his response, but couldn't help the smile that followed.

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[juniperpyre]

canon lily evans: who is she? part 1

there have been many fanon iterations of lily j. evans over the past two decades. she's been a perfect mother and wife, a goody two shoes who plays by the rules and makes sure everyone else does, she's been a kind, intelligent, beautiful dream girl, a genuis, fighting badass who takes no shit and solves everyone's problems, she's been a bitch, she's been an incubator.

it's hard to make an argument for or against any of these traits. we see little of her in canon, and much of it from highly biased sources (petunia, severus). nonetheless, lily j. evans has a canon foundation. let us explore.

we first hear of lily as she is mourned by professor mcgonagall, hagrid, and dumbledore. we see little to no characterization beyond the intensity of sadness all three feel over lily and james' deaths. plenty of people have died in the war, but lily and james' death seem to hit hard.

we hear lily's voice with harry for the first time in the third book, as she begs voldemort to spare her son.

we do not hear about her again besides references to harry's eyes until the 5th book.

snape's worst memory

we first see lily from snape's perspective, in his memories.

what an introduction. lily and james are at odds and it's lily that broke her way into the confrontation. she does not hesitate to command james, or to show her anger. but she also speaks cooly. she only shouts once to get james' attention as she's walking over and then chooses her words carefully. her goal is to hurt james, to shame him enough that he backs down.

we can see from her multiple insults to james—unnecessary, she could simple tell him to stop more, or appeal to his good nature, or get a teacher, or try to disarm him—that she is choosing cruelty in this moment. she believes james is behaving badly (unjustly, perhaps) and her method to stop him is publicly insulting him. the punishment matches the crime.

this all shows a decisiveness to lily's actions. she is sure of herself, quick thinking, she values justice more than popularity, and she is okay with being mean. if someone, james in this instance, has transgressed far enough outside of morality she is fine with using immoral behavior to put them in their place.

we could argue that insulting james is not immoral behavior, or that lily does not believe it is. but the fact is lily is trying to (emotionally) hurt james to protect snape when she has by-the-book options. she is not an idealist, and does not seem a goody-two shoes. (of course, she could've attacked him, but that wouldn't de-escalate. she's not a violent person, or too impulsive).

and then we come to this moment. still in the introduction to lily's character, snape calls her a Mudblood.

lily does not shout. she blinks. she responds with an insult meant to further humiliate snape.

james shouts. james is ready to attack over the use of a slur, but lily is not. perhaps this is because the consequences will always be worse for her. perhaps she knows reacting will give the bigots watching satisfaction. perhaps her emotions are too private for this moment. whatever reason, lily is in control, and she uses insults to regain her power.

"you're as bad as he is"

i rarely see this line worked through in jily fics. this line shows the deepest insight into lily's perspective. it is the first time she shouts, it's an emotional reaction. comparing james to snape may be a cruel statement designed to hurt james, but because lily did not deliver this line cooly, with foresight, i believe it is her true feelings.

she proceeds to insult james with, imo, fairly trivial bullshit, aside from the hexing. it's not that these actions are so horrible; lily is angry at james for his attitude. james gets to walk the halls without a care in the world and he clearly carries a sense of superiority. he isn't thinking about how his actions affect others. he doesn't have think about the sociopolitics of a situation until someone is shouting Mudblood in his face.

this is why lily sees james as bad as snape. james thinks he's a good guy, but he's contributing to a school environment where two rich pureblood boys get to torment whoever they like! he's not fighting bigotry just because he doesn't use slurs. james is ignorant and doing harm, like most teenagers.

lily sees the way both boys are hurting people, many of them vulnerable, and can't see a true difference. fair enough!

the next we hear of this is confirmation from remus and sirius that lily did not hate james, and that james became less of a dick. I'm sure both of these men remember james and lily overly-fondly. however, i believe their statements create a sketch of what happened off the page. james matured. there isn't a comment on lily maturing, however.

the memory highlights lily's self-control, her Machiavellian perspective on combating wrongdoing, her deep rooted anger and morals, her wit, and her strong sense of loyalty.

it isn't until the 6th book that we receive more insight into lily's character. this comes from horace slughorn, her potions master.

horace slughorn & lily evans

he remembers lily as one of the brightest students he ever had. vivacious means full of life, animated. though it also indicates attractiveness, i find it meaningful that slughorn isn't commenting primarily on lily's appearance or her kindness but on her passions and spirit. it leads me to believe that slughorn did care about lily as a person.

slughorn also says lily is charming and cheeky. all of his descriptors point towards an attractive and friendly personality, but not one with a strong fondness for rules. she's cheeky to a teacher, and that is not the trait of a goody-two shoes, a stick in the mud, or a doormat of a housewife. lily has beliefs that she will be made known, even if it may go against the grain.

we saw in snape's worst memory that lily used insults to keep control of a situation and express discontent without showing too much emotion. she had a sharp tongue and a quick mind that she used in all situations. though she showed parts of herself and her beliefs that were not popular, she was keeping aspects of herself guarded. this is shrewd and indicates a keen understanding of social politics, and possibly unhealthy emotional repression.

furthermore, slughorn believes she could have been in slytherin. he could tell that she used social manipulation. i do not think lily put on a mask, but she was particular with what parts of herself she allowed people to see. this also leads me to believe lily did not play by the rules when it came to success, that she showed ambition and cunning. slughorn liked successful students—even in the horrible political climate he saw her going somewhere.

in a highly emotional moment, slughorn says that lily is very brave and very funny. he can't imagine someone not liking her. people are better remembered in death, but slughorn is consistent in highlighting her humor. we also see a mention of her bravery. perhaps this is something he realized once she'd died. more likely he saw it in her during her school years.

the repeated traits we see from teenage lily in severus' memories and slughorn's recollection are being quick-witted, humorous, and brave/justice-seeking. she has a playful disposition and seems to have a secure sense of boundaries and decent emotional regulation for a teenager.

in her negative traits, we observe a propensity to use cruelty as a tool. however, we only see this in an intense moment. lily is not openly shown as someone with true bad traits, or as someone who changes over time, in the first six books.

james is given that complexity. snape's worst memory shows a pivotal moment for both men. this is the scene's point in the narrative: to offer complexity to these men. but is it a pivotal moment for lily? she is used to further both men's character development, but we see no change in her.

part 2 will discuss what we learn about lily in the 7th book.

[nomercymaster11]

Turbulent Currents

Author's note: I've been trying to divert myself from unnecessary emotions, so I attempted to craft a lengthy story. So, basically, the story will once again revolve around the Heart Pirates, joined by the Straw Hat Pirates. It's an open narrative, and I'm not adhering to any timeline from the original One Piece story. I've been contemplating various scenarios that have been on my mind for quite some time, and I aim to connect them into a cohesive storyline. The story below has a sad tone. I suggest to play "The World's Continuation" by Ado while reading.

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm golden hue over the Heart Pirates' ship as it anchored near a secluded island. Tension lingered in the air, palpable and suffocating. The crew moved about the deck; their usual camaraderie replaced by an unsettling quiet. Among them, you stood, your eyes locked in a fierce gaze with Trafalgar Law.

The argument had been fierce, echoing through the ship like a tempest. It all revolved around a perilous mission, an expedition into a dangerous territory to retrieve a mystical artifact crucial for the Heart Pirates' plans. You, a key member of the crew, held the key to success. Yet, your disagreement with Law had escalated beyond the realm of a mere difference in strategy. It became a clash of ideologies, a storm of conflicting opinions.

The scene was set on the deck, a battleground where words were the weapons of choice. Law, his demeanor usually composed, couldn't contain the frustration in his eyes. His gestures were sharp, hands punctuating each argument as he tried to make you see reason.

"You're jeopardizing the entire mission with your reckless ideas! This artifact is our only chance," Law exclaimed, his voice cutting through the air like a blade.

Your response was equally defiant, fueled by a sense of principle. "I won't compromise our morals for the sake of some artifact. There has to be another way."

The exchange continued, each word deepening the chasm between you and the captain. As the argument reached its zenith, something inside you snapped. The weight of the disagreement, the burden of being the linchpin in this perilous plan, became too much.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, you stood at the precipice of a life-altering decision.

Bepo, the polar bear mink and loyal member of the Heart Pirates, approached with a furrowed brow, his usually jovial demeanor replaced by concern.

"Please, don't go," he implored, his voice laced with sincerity.

The deck was crowded with crew members, their gazes shifting uncomfortably between you and Law. Bepo's furry hand gently reached for your shoulder, a plea for reconsideration.

"I can't stay, Bepo. Our ideals are just too different," you replied, your voice betraying the internal turmoil. The moonlit deck became a stage for the silent struggle within the Heart Pirates.

Bepo's eyes held a mixture of sadness and frustration. "But you're family. We need you for this mission. Law needs you."

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, and you shook your head. "I can't compromise who I am for the sake of a mission. There has to be another way, and I can't follow blindly when our principles clash."

As the exchange unfolded, other crew members gathered, their expressions torn between loyalty to their captain and concern for a comrade. The ship, usually alive with the sounds of camaraderie, now bore witness to a somber scene.

In the midst of this, Trafalgar Law remained aloof, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon. Bepo, not one to be easily deterred, approached Law with a sense of urgency.

"Captain, please reconsider. We can't afford to lose them," Bepo urged, his tone a blend of respect and desperation.

Law, however, remained stoic, his eyes reflecting the conflict within. "This mission is bigger than any one person. We can't afford distractions."

"But they are not just a distraction! They're a vital part of this crew," Bepo argued, his plea echoing the sentiments of the crew members gathered on the deck.

Law's silence hung heavy, a cold barrier between him and the crew. The ship, once a symbol of unity, now felt divided by a rift that seemed insurmountable. As you turned away, stepping onto the island, the ship's departure signaled the beginning of a solitary chapter, leaving behind a fractured crew grappling with the aftermath of a heated exchange and the departure of a crucial member.

The island embraced you with its tranquil solitude, offering a momentary refuge from the storm of emotions that raged within. As the Heart Pirates' ship vanished over the horizon, the lush foliage and calming sounds of the island became witnesses to your contemplation.

Seeking shelter for the night, you stumbled upon a small, abandoned cottage nestled in the heart of the island. The wooden structure, weathered by time and forgotten by its inhabitants, seemed like a silent companion for your troubled thoughts.

Entering the cottage, the air was thick with a musty scent, a testament to the passage of time. Moonlight filtered through the cracks in the wooden walls, casting ethereal patterns on the dusty floor. The silence within was broken only by the distant rustle of leaves and the occasional night sounds of the island.

Alone with your thoughts, you sank onto a creaky wooden chair, your mind replaying the events on the Heart Pirates' ship. The argument with Law echoed in your ears, and the pain of leaving a crew you considered family weighed heavily on your heart.

In the dim light, you traced the contours of a faded portrait on the wall - a depiction of happier times, the crew united in laughter and camaraderie. The faces of Bepo, Penguin, Shachi, and Law stared back at you, a stark reminder of the bonds that now seemed strained.

The ache in your chest intensified as you recalled the concern in Bepo's eyes, the futile attempts to persuade you to stay. The memory of Law's stoic refusal to reconsider gnawed at you, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of unresolved emotions.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you stared out of a cracked window at the moonlit landscape. The gentle rustling of leaves outside seemed to carry the weight of your contemplation.

"Why does it hurt so much?" you whispered to the empty room, the words hanging in the air.

The sense of loss, not just of a mission but of the camaraderie you had cherished, enveloped you like a shroud. The realization that your principles had driven a wedge between you and the crew you held dear stung deeply.

As the night wore on, the cottage became a haven for your introspection. The pain of departure mingled with the longing for resolution, and the moon cast its soothing light on a soul wrestling with the complexities of loyalty and self-discovery.

In the silence of the abandoned cottage, you found solace amid turmoil, grappling with the echoes of the past and the uncertainty of the future. The island, though a temporary refuge, became a silent witness to the profound journey of introspection that unfolded within the confines of the forgotten dwelling.

-----------------------

The Heart Pirates sailed away from the island, leaving behind the echo of a fractured camaraderie. Onboard, the crew moved about with a palpable heaviness in the air. Bepo, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by a somber expression, gathered the crew for a discussion in the dimly lit common area.

Penguin and Shachi exchanged glances; their concern mirrored in the eyes of the crew members who had become a tight-knit family. Bepo, as the first mate, cleared his throat, his voice carrying a weight that reflected the gravity of the situation.

"Why does it have to end this way? we really can't just let them go," Bepo stated, his voice a mixture of determination and worry. "They're family."

Law, leaning against the wall with crossed arms, glanced at Bepo with a stoic expression. "We can't afford to let personal feelings interfere with the mission."

Bepo, torn between loyalty to the crew and understanding Law's perspective, finally asked the question that lingered in the air. "Are we continuing without them, Captain?"

Law, his jaw clenched, nodded. "Yes, but we'll need to adjust the plan. We can't let emotions compromise our objective."

With a heavy heart, the crew dispersed, each member grappling with the aftermath of the departure. As Law walked away, his façade of strength began to waver. The weight of the decision, the rift in the crew, burdened his shoulders more than he let on.

He entered his quarters, the dim light revealing the weariness etched on his face. Before going to his desk, Law found himself drawn to the closed door of your room. A moment of hesitation passed before he entered, the air within laden with memories of shared laughter and camaraderie.

The room was a silent testament to the bond that had been fractured. Law sat on the side of the bed, his gloved hands clenching the fabric. In the stillness, he found himself in deep contemplation, the sting of regret piercing through his strong façade.

"I hope you find what you're looking for," Law whispered to the empty room, the words carrying a weight of unspoken emotions. The room, once filled with your presence, now felt hauntingly empty. As Law sat there, surrounded by the echoes of the past, the ship sailed on, carrying the Heart Pirates forward into an uncertain future.

To be continued...

[spacexseven]

tunaaaaa I've been reading ur Childe Thing sooo much that I've been thinking of I Love Amy aus nonstop. its a problem. in honor of bsd s4 im gonna rapid fire a couple out for the Bsd Boys!

lets talk dazai. I feel like this could go a lot of ways with him. like, if its ada dazai, you probably don't really get the sense that something is kinda off with him until you're a bit too deep to back out. he seemed so sweet when you first met- fuckin weird, but sweet! no harm in trying to help him win over a crush, right? for pm dazai, you obviously know hes fucked in the head the second you meet him, so you agree to help him out of a fear of what he might do to you if you dont rather than a sense of altruism. either way, its kinda hard to notice him getting a little overly-attached to you just cuz of how naturally obnoxious and clingy he is. even if he starts to escalate you might not get it cuz hes pretty fast and loose about LITERALLY kidnapping you and tying you up in his apartment/mafia holding cell right off the bat (gets very pouty about you "ignoring" him). doesnt help that hes so out of touch with his own emotions he probably doesn't even know he has a thing for you for a whiiile. trust me tho, being nice to him and taking care of him when hes sick or injured WILL wear him down. you'll only kind of get it when you try to give him some new pointers on his crush and he seems to just get? annoyed? mutters something about you talking about someone else while you're SUPPOSED to pay attention to HIM. or when he keeps being weirdly affectionate with you in full view of X when hed usually forget you exist as soon as he sees them. or you woke up chained to a chair (again) but this time hes perched in your lap and scolding you about avoiding your "boyfriend" before shoving his lips against yours. couldve been any of these occasions really.

cant BELIEVE I didn't think of gogol the first time I talked about this this is almost EXACTLY what yes doing to sigma rn. when this fuckin 6'2 clown terrorist traps you against a wall and starts questioning about why you were talking to "his darling", you are 10000% sure you're gonna die. almost gives you whiplash how fast his tone changes once you convince him you have NO interest. all smiles all of the sudden, picks u up under the armpits like a cat to right ur posture and pats you on the head, declaring that you will be his magicians assistant for a while! you do not have a say in this, if you'd like to keep your skin. while you feel bad about aiding and abetting this stalking case, you get the sense that hes. not ever gonna actually make a move. kinda just Wants To Stalk. goes on about how he cant let himself be tied down like that (whatever that means). he does talk about just murdering his darling a lot but you've managed to convince him that thats unnecessary baggage connecting them to him so hopefully that keeps him sated until his goldfish-esque attention span finally moves him onto a new target. and it does! the problem is that its you. I think that once he realizes he likes you, he's just gonna vanish. poof gone. hes had a lot of fleeting obsessions with ill-fated darlings before, but youre something new. hes never actually gotten to know someone before! ugh. hes caged by his feelings for you, but the despair hed feel from killing you would be a cage all its own! frustrating!!!!! maybe if he just leaves and never thinks about you ever again this'll just go away like all of his other crushes. doesnt work. expect him back in a month, snuggling into your neck and babbling inane about having missed you. he tied you up again so youre just gonna have to let him do that. its fine youre used to this with him.

really wanted to do this with chuuya and fyodor too but im scared of them being OOC help me.

- 🩹

omg so this turned out to be Very Long :O quick context for any1 who is unfamiliar w i love amy—it's a webtoon (highly recommend btw) where the yandere character starts to fall for her 'target/rival' instead of her initial love interest. for more info + the childe version, check out this post.

cw: yandere characters (dazai, fyodor, nikolai), stalking, kidnapping, imprisonment, obsessive behavior, threats of violence to reader. (this whole post came off a little silly instead of serious But mind the cws anyway!)

this is best read with a male reader (to keep it consistent w i love amy) but there's no pronouns used or descriptions for reader, so do as you like. also, reader makes morally questionable decisions :>

(pm) dazai is to be avoided at all costs. that was the rule you put down for yourself after witnessing one of his very public threats to some poor pedestrian who had bumped into him. the dramatic coat, the blank expression, the natural ease with which he handled the weapon in his hand—everything about him was just...alarming.

however, despite all your efforts, he's obstructed your path home with a deadly glare and a hand in his pocket.

according to dazai, he did not appreciate your recent conversation with X, (as he claimed, they were too popular to spare most people more than a few friendly greetings—so why were you having a full-fledged conversation with them?) who were you, even, to get in his way? you sputter out some excuse, some explanation as to why he misunderstood the situation and it was all just work-related, and fortunately, he seems convinced, at least enough to relax his hold on you and shift the blaring malice in his stance to something less frightening.

obviously, you couldn't refuse when he offers you what he calls a mutually beneficial proposition. you help him get closer to X, and he won't kill you! win-win, don't you think?

the thing about dazai, you soon learn, is that despite the murderous energy he gives off, he's painfully annoying, more so than frightening. it almost feels like you're dealing with an obnoxious child, with how he's constantly whining and tugging at your sleeve and complaining about how useless you're being.

and it also makes you wonder if he's ever really had a friend, because he's got some strange expectations for you. he's all too possessive, too paranoid, and expects you to be perfectly fine with it. you consider telling him that he's not supposed to hold you hostage every time he thinks you're spending "too much time with someone else", but after the 4th attempt, you've understood that there was no getting to him. at least he stopped with the threats to your other friends (well, he promised you that he'd stop), and that seemed like the only thing he was willing to compromise on. he doesn't ease up on the breaking-into-your-room-to-visit-you stunt, either, especially when you're "ignoring him". despite all that, maybe out of some form of pity, you still help him out. you drop off food when he's sick and try to explain that imprisonment is not the key to a healthy relationship. you hang out with him even if you're terrified of all the mafioso you come across when you visit the hq with him, and after all of it, you're mostly convinced that he wasn't going to kill you anytime soon. in fact, the two of you seemed to be building an unusual friendship.

but when he comes to visit you one day when you're sick and actually knocks on the door and texts you beforehand, you tell him that this would be the best way to approach X if he ever hears that they're sick. though you're expecting some excitement, or some self-satisfaction for improving a little, instead of looking excited, dazai looks frustrated. for the first time, he looks genuinely...upset. and when he asks you why you can't appreciate that he was looking out for you and not X, you're left at a loss for words. you're not sure if this was a sign that he was starting to learn not to cross your boundaries or a warning that he was beginning to like you a little too much

and things only get stranger. he becomes more observant, asks you more questions about yourself rather than X, and even starts holding your hand in full view of X. when you mention that X was really looking forward to a new movie coming out and that he should try to ask them out, he gets upset by your suggestion, grumbling about you paying more attention to X and only caring about them instead of asking him if he wants to see the movie with them. so, unsure of how to respond, you echo his question. he beams at you and happily declares that he only wants to watch the movie with you.

somewhere along the line, it happened that dazai himself started to realize just how much he liked you, and he spirals out of control. the already overwhelming physical contact turns more intimate, with dazai holding your hand at every possible moment, pressing himself as close to you as humanely possible without squeezing the air out of you, and sitting on your lap whenever the opportunity presents itself. he stops responding to anything that isn't an endearing pet name and introduces himself as your boyfriend. X seems to be eradicated from his mind, as well as anyone that wasn't you, though it feels as though you're the only one that has a problem with this change. dazai takes to it naturally, seamlessly inserting himself into your life.

"what's wrong?" dazai's sprawled across your lap with the biggest grin on his face, the remote in your hand long ripped away by him, "come give your boyfriend a kiss~"

you've...heard of fyodor. it was more overhearing whispers shared between people, but the mention of his name seemed to intrigue everyone who heard it. you've heard that he was a mysterious man who walked into the city one day and never left, and you've heard that he was the owner of an expensive casino. you've even heard that he had a tendency to stand on top of rooftops at night, but you've heard tons of variations and rumors. one statement, however, rang true in everyone's ears.

fyodor dostoevsky was taken with X.

that was putting it lightly—obsession was exactly what it was. though X was clearly unaware of what was being said, because, as they assured you one day while you walked out with them, fyodor was just a friend! and he was a very interesting guy, with some strong beliefs. he wasn't some criminal mastermind! all he did was keep to himself. and that, as they confidently declared, wasn't a crime.

but you had reason to not believe X, after all, it wasn't them at the receiving end of a laser focused gaze and a creepy smile. (it scared you so much that you ran home and ordered a burglar-proof lock for your door the same night) and it also wasn't them who sat down across from you while you were having your breakfast in the café nearby. anyone would have been better than who it was.

"hello," fyodor waves a fork at you, his fingers positioned gracefully on the silver cutlery (and of course, you think bitterly, he was evil and beautiful. just your luck), "i hope you can spare me a few minutes."

he wasn't asking, but you melted at his soft tone. for all people loved to talk about him, why hadn't they mentioned how hard it was to take your eyes off him? awkwardly, you take another bite of your food, nodding at him.

he asks you about X, though it's more of an interrogation disguised as casual conversation. he easily waves around his fork, smiles at you with an unnerving expression, and stares at you a little too long. by the end of it, your food is finished and his fork is placed neatly back onto the table and you've sustained no injuries. better yet, he finally seems to have (reluctantly) removed your name from his hit list.

what you weren't expecting was for him to start seeking you out. you get strange looks when fyodor waits outside your workplace with an umbrella—your umbrella—leaving you with no choice but to walk with him unless you wanted to get home soaked. he lists off X's habit and asks you to add on to his list, ignoring your reply of "that's just creepy". he tells you that he wants to respect X's privacy by not using cameras to spy on them so will you answer him or should he use the cameras? and what else could you do then?

at the very least, he didn't seem serious about attempting to kidnap or imprison X. he seemed fascinated by them, if anything. like he was...studying them. being with him wasn't as bad as you'd though, no matter how much you hated to admit it, despite the foundation of this friendship was built on how amusing he found X. if he was in a particularly good mood, he'd even offer to help you out with your struggles in the pursuit of love. his ideas, however, were all sure to land you behind bars with a retraining order to boot. when you voiced your opinion to him, he only smiled and told you that he knew a thing or two about breaking out of a prison cell, much like he was recalling upon a fond memory.

the only good thing about this strange arrangement was that fyodor was really nice to look at. there was something mesmerizing about his every action, even the slight quirk of his lips or the way his hair fell on his forehead. the ease with which he slipped on his hat (which, by the way, what was with all his not-weather-appropriate clothing? was he not sweating?), and the commanding air around him. so while he spoke seriously about X and his distaste for most of the human population, you tuned him out and focused on admiring his pretty eyes and how his lips wrapped around his fork and—ugh, you were starting to sound as creepy as him. but honestly, you had a feeling he already knew that you found him attractive. fyodor was far too good at reading people, far too perceptive to let something as obvious as your attraction to him slip.

your mistake was foolishly believing that you'd be safe as long as you didn't act on those feelings.

it felt strange, however, when he started reaching your usual table first, having already asked for your go-to meal and watching with thinly veiled delight as you stared down at the hot plate. and it's your coworkers now that get stared at, your friends who get the silent threat of a fork pressed against smooth skin, and you that everyone whispers that fyodor dostoevsky is taken with.

the meaning behind his increasingly strange behaviour doesn't really hit you, not until you've bumped into X again, who you haven't seen around in a while.

"i see that you and fyodor are becoming good friends now," they grin, "i'm almost jealous of how quickly you warmed up to him."

long fingers reach to caress your cheek before a perfectly poised hand places itself on your shoulder. fyodor's unmistakable voice replies in your stead.

"we're friends? is that what you've heard?" fyodor dips his head down to lock eyes with yours, "why don't you correct them about that, darling?"

you should have trusted sigma when he told you that nikolai gogol was bad news. as he clarified, so bad that, coincidentally, the ministry of justice hq was moved away at least by two states when nikolai came to visit.

but how were you to know that he was in love with one of your acquaintances? and how were you to know that his idea of love was this frightening? just when you were making your way back after a lukewarm conversation about work with X, you were slammed up against the wall by a person with a top hat and a coat and an honestly terrifying expression. then nikolai, as he later introduced himself, started grilling you with questions, ruthlessly asking about why you were with X and why did they smile at you and where does your family live, after which he happily told you about his many previous experiences with torture and how he would love to show you.

you're not sure what convinced him to let you go, whether it was your trembling legs or your teary promises that you had no interest in X in that way, but here you were now—alive, terrified, and offered the position of 'magician's assistant' (though the magician himself refused to tell you why the position was open for so long) and all it took to land the increasingly strange job was to talk to X and listen to nikolai threaten to torture you in graphic detail.

(among all the crazy people you had seen around here—that so-called 'world's best detective' who snatched your bag of candy right from your hands, that other person who started doing push-ups in the middle of the road, and someone giggling holding a bag of lemons by the port—you thought that nikolai definitely fit right in. not that you were going to tell him that)

while the position wasn't exactly what you wanted, nor were you too keen on spending more time around nikolai, something about the glint in his uncovered eye and the hand gripping your shoulder told you that you really wouldn't want to reject his offer. contrary to what you may have assumed, assisting nikolai only meant becoming a partner to his criminal activity, which revolved around stalking X, talking to them to find out all the information nikolai can't get by stalking them, and stalking them even more to find out any more details that neither of you could get. (you've considered helping out as much as you can, leaving hints in the form of obscure drawings of nikolai and danger symbols, but later, when you catch sight of X waving to him, you realize the message did not come across the way you intended it to)

fortunately for them, (and for you. at least now, you won't be behind bars for assisting in abduction) nikolai seems to have no interest whatsoever in pursuing them any further. sure, he keeps books filled with information about X, and buys their favorite drink alongside his order, but he doesn't seem to want to do anything more.

while you could care less about why he does whatever he's doing, already chalking it all up to the fact that he was off his rockers, nikolai decides to enlighten you all the same. when he excitedly rambles on and on about freedom and feelings and why X must now die, you pretend to listen, never actually telling him that nothing he said made any sense to you. still, after insisting that he won't be very free behind bars either and that if he really didn't want to be tied down by his feelings, he should actually distance himself from them instead, it appeared that you finally got him to understand, and he hesitantly agreed to listen.

for the most part, everything is great after that. your life returns to normal, with no top hat wearing, cane wielding magician in the vicinity, and no more having to invade someone's privacy. and it was great! really! even if it was a little bit boring without nikolai's spontaneous plans (maybe that time in the amusement park was pretty fun, even if the only reason you had to go was because X was going there with someone else, much to nikolai's horror). there was something both unsettling and addictive about the crazy adventures nikolai swept you on, though it was for the best that he disappeared.

but then nikolai came back…acting a little odd.

his clinginess and a sudden desire for physical affection set off alarms in your head, though he acted like this was perfectly normal. at first, you told yourself that this must be some new jealousy plot—maybe he got this idea from a tv show he watched over his 'break', but he hadn't asked you if you wanted to be part of this ploy (not that he ever did, really).

and your suspicions only grew when he refused to let up on the act, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. his trips with you became increasingly frightening, and his grip on you increasingly tighter. he takes his new position by your side, not at all focused on X anymore, and instead observes you with the same look that was fixated on X not too long ago.

it only hits you that you've become his new target when you find yourself tied up to a chair, with him seated right in front of you with his face up to yours. the exact scenario you convinced him not to put X through.

"your advice sucks, by the way," he pouts, "i tried staying away but i couldn't stop thinking of you! don't be too upset, alright? we can have even more fun now that we're together!"

[remlee1999]

NCT DREAM AS TOXIC BOYFRIENDS

warning: toxic traits

MARK Workaholic He is known for working hard and being very focused on his career. This can lead to neglecting his partner by not spending enough time or attention on them.

Blunt Mark can be quite straightforward in his communication. This can sometimes come across as insensitive or dismissive of his partner's feelings.

Perfection He is very ambitious and strives to do his best in everything. This can put pressure on himself and those around him, including his partner. RENJUN Jealousy He might be overly jealous and possessive, always wanting to know where his girlfriend is and who she is with.

Insecurity He could be insecure in the relationship and constantly worry about his girlfriend's feelings towards him.

Controlling behavior Renjun might try to dominate and control the relationship, making all the decisions without considering his girlfriend's opinions.

JENO Jealous Jeno appears to be quite possessive and protective of those close to him, including his group members. While this may seem cute and endearing, it could escalate quickly to jealousy and controlling behavior in a relationship.

Immature Jeno is known for his playful and lighthearted personality, which can sometimes come across as immature. This might lead to reckless decisions, lack of accountability, and poor communication in a relationship.

HAECHAN Overly flirty Haechan has a habit of flirting with everyone, even when he's in a relationship, which can make his partner feel insecure and disrespected.

JEALOUS Haechan can be jealous and possessive, getting upset if his partner interacts with other guys or spends too much time away from him. JAEMIN Selfish Jaemin is known for being a very ambitious and driven person, and this trait could translate to self-centered behavior in a relationship. He may prioritize his goals and desires over the needs and feelings of his partner, leading to a lack of consideration for their feelings.

Possessive Jaemin may have a tendency to be highly possessive and protective of his partner, which could manifest in controlling or jealous behavior. This can lead to a sense of suffocation and lack of freedom in the relationship. CHENLE Cocky and Arrogant Attitude Having been pampered and praised since a young age, Chenle may develop a cocky and arrogant attitude.

Controlling and Domineering Chenle may exhibit controlling and domineering behavior, always wanting things to go his way.

Lack of Emotional Expressiveness Chenle may struggle with expressing his emotions, leading to communication issues and misunderstandings within the relationship. JISUNG Immaturity Jisung is known for acting childish and being playful, which can sometimes come off as immature. In a relationship, this immaturity could lead to lack of seriousness and responsibility.

Overly competitive Jisung may tend to view his relationship as a competition and continuously try to one-up his partner, potentially causing unnecessary conflict and tension in the relationship.

Lack of communication Jisung may struggle with expressing his feelings and thoughts effectively, leading to miscommunication and misunderstanding with his partner.

[drdemonprince]

Just chiming in to agree that that person is not a selfish bitch. I'm also really put off by moralistic performances of emotion, and I know in my case it's because it was part of a pattern of abusive behaviour that my mother did.

Anytime you expressed to her that there was a problem with her behaviour, she seemed to genuinely believe that if she put enough effort into weeping and crying on her children's shoulders, and verbally denigrating herself for being an inherently bad an immoral person, and stressing so much that she developed physical illnesses from it, then she could follow that up by asking for forgiveness - as if it would be cruel for us to continue her suffering by denying her that forgiveness. Except that to her, "forgiveness" meant "it's all swept under the rug, I have Atoned By Suffering Guilt, so now it doesn't matter and I can keep doing it again." (I really wonder how much the religious background of her parents' generation came into the formation of this worldview.) And at the same time, she refuses to read news that's "too upsetting" and never engages with literature or media about dark themes "because there's enough of that in real life."

It might be cynical of me to read this pattern into the way people talk online about genocide. But I keep seeing parallels. My perspective is that a) if you're not regulating your emotions well enough to function, then you have less capacity to offer practical help; and b) people who are actually trying to survive genocide want unnecessary human suffering to END, so you're not aligning yourself with that hope by engaging in rumination etc that compounds suffering with not practical benefit to anyone.

But also, watching my mother's behaviour has led me to add perspective c) that a lot of people (in Christian cultures?) haven't developed enough understanding of the complexity of the world and how to relate to it, and genuinely believe that an overblown emotionally affected reaction, followed by helplessness and thereby inaction, is the only possible way for them to respond when they're confronted with upsetting information that demands action from them. Being raised to think in a black-and-white "good vs evil" dichotomy, and thinking about people as "either morally good or morally bad" rather than thinking about people as neutral and behaviours as either ethically helpful or harmful... it doesn't give them a conceptual framework to integrate upsetting information and then carry on getting things done, it's like their moral anxiety gets them stuck and that keeps the emotions escalating.

I see people discussing this pattern in the context of religious trauma, and in the context of the cultural construct of "whiteness" - the discovery of something morally bad has to be followed by an extreme emotional reaction that basically amounts to protesting your own innocence and helplessness to deny responsibility for your direct behaviours (in my mother's case) or complicity in a corrupt system (in the case of overwhelmed average people learning about genocide).

Maybe I'm rambling more than I'm analysing here, but the comparison stands out a lot to me and it's troubling to watch.

yo anon no this is gold, thank you for sharing. This is remarkably astute.

I will add the quick caveat that hyperempathic people who are debilitated by their sensitivity exist, of course, and have very real struggles and none of this is intended to denigrate them. In practice, their behavior can have the impact of silencing criticism or distracting from the issue at hand but being wired that way certainly does not doom a person to behaving in a counterproductive, manipulative manner.

This critique is more about performative over the top empathy as a tactic (conscious or not) of offloading responsibility, and as a pseudo-religious ideology that makes predominately white western cultures particularly ill-equipped to deal with the consequences of their global plundering. almost certainly by design. Most moral teachings that we encounter in the west promote this tactic and ideology, and it gets very deeply ingrained in most us if we don't devote a ton of attention to uprooting it.

thanks for this great response.

[ahlyasimps]

Sharp Words, Tender Heart [O.G.]

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x GN Reader

Summary: You and Ominis get into an argument

A/N: Requested by Anon! 

It had started out as a small disagreement over your constant adventures that end in scrapes and bruises, but it quickly escalated into a full-blown argument. You and Ominis had been bickering back and forth for what felt like hours, and you were both exhausted.

"I can't believe you would say something like that," you said, your voice shaking with anger.

"I can't believe you're being so stubborn," Ominis shot back, his tone biting.

You both went quiet for a moment, both of you realizing that things had gone too far. But before either of you could say anything else, Ominis's sharp tongue got the better of him.

"You know what? I'm sick of this," he said, his voice cold and distant. "I shouldn't have to keep worrying over someone who has no regard for their safety."

Those words hit you like a ton of bricks, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You tried to hold them back, but one slipped down your cheek and you choked back a sob. Before Ominis could say anything, you fled.

Once you calmed down a little you went to the Undercroft hoping to find Ominis. It wouldn't do you both any good to keep bickering.

"Hey," Ominis greeted you after hearing your footsteps enter the room, his voice cold and distant.

"Hi," you replied, trying to keep your own emotions in check. "Can we talk?"

"I don't know," he said, looking pointedly in the opposite direction. "Are you going to apologize?"

"For what?" you asked, feeling a surge of anger. "I haven't done anything wrong." "You know exactly what you did," Ominis said, his voice rising. "You're always putting yourself in danger and doing what you want, no matter how it affects me. You don't tell my anything!"

"That's not true," you protested.

"Maybe it's a bit of an exaggeration," Ominis conceded, "but that's not the point. The point is that you never consider my feelings. You just do whatever you want, and then expect me to be okay with knowing that anytime we're not together you're probably getting cornered by Ranrok's lot."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," you said, feeling a pang of guilt. "But sometimes I feel like you're trying to control me. And I can't live like that."

"I'm not trying to control you," Ominis said, his voice softening. "I just want us to be on the same page. I want to be informed before you go off and do anything dangerous. Do you know how anxious I get whenever I don't hear from you and no one knows where you went? Just two days ago you ran off, no word to anyone and the next time I meet you, you're in the infirmary getting treated for dragon burns!"

"I understand that," you said, feeling a sense of relief that he was finally opening up to you. "And I promise to try and be more considerate in the future. But you also have to understand that I can't always keep you updated. Some things just happen.."

"I know," Ominis said, reaching for your lap to find your hand. "Just, stop constantly throwing yourself into so much unnecessary danger. At least bring someome with you."

You smiled and nodded, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. "I will, I'll try to be more open with you. But you need to stop worrying so much, I can handle myself."

"You're righting, I'm sorry if it came off as too controlling, I'll try to tone it down," Ominis said, using your hands to pull you into a hug. "I love you." He mumbled into your hair.

He pulled away from you, face unusally serious, "What I said earlier about being sick of this..I really didn't mean it. You're probably the single best thing that happened to me and I'm just scared."

"I love you, too and I know," you said smiling up at him before giving him a quick peck on the lips, feeling grateful that everything got resolved. It might have taken awhile but you're glad you were both able to communicate your problems and reach an understanding.

[sweveniv]

MAYOR ━━ h. ran.

“Whisper in my ear how much you want me and then feel how wet that made.” — Haitani Ran.

glyph : The relationship between the Mayor of Minato City, Ran Haitani, and the highest-paid model of New York, Y/N Kurokawa, had always been a beautiful one. They were almost perfect together, the perfect couple that everyone in the world admired and envied. But one night, everything changed in an unexpected and shocking way.

It all started with a simple argument, but then things quickly escalated. What started as a small disagreement turned into a full-blown fight, with both sides saying things that should not have been said. In a moment of weakness, they let their emotions get the best of them, and they said things that they did not truly mean.

And in that moment, their relationship was changed forever. Their perfect love story became the big news of the world, the talking point of everyone. They were no longer the perfect couple that everyone admired and envied. They were now the subject of speculation and gossip.

warning : dark content, political corruption, unnecessary or inappropriate purchases, mentioned of rape, mentioned of blood, homicide, genonice, detailed smut such as: rough sex, vaginal penetration, throat goat, finger-fucking, head job, hand job, cunninglingus, etc. dirty talks such as: slut, whore, or anything that's related to misogynistic. MDNI.

#1: glimpse of entirety.

; the mayor and the supermodel.

#2: oligarchies congregate.

; auntie's grand party.

#3: hackettes enthusiasm i.

; rindou's invitation.

#4: start the game.

; rindou's grand birthday celebration in japan international house.

status: on-going.

© sweveniv-niikosia.

[thehufflepuffavenger1]

What are we? The Grid Angel 4/?

(filler chapter next chapter is in the works!)

The next race weekend arrived with an electric energy in the air, a charged atmosphere that mirrored the dynamics within the Formula 1 paddock. As cars roared on the track during practice sessions, the off-track drama continued to unfold like a captivating subplot to the main event.In the aftermath of Max's confrontation with Charles, a palpable tension hung in the air. The pit crew, always attuned to the nuances of the team dynamics, exchanged uncertain glances. The Grand Prix season, once solely about the pursuit of victory on the circuit, had transformed into a complex tapestry of emotions and relationships.

You, caught in the crossfire of the brewing rivalry, navigated the paddock with a sense of trepidation. The post-race dinner gatherings had taken on a new level of intensity, with the unspoken tension between Max and Charles palpable to everyone around.

As the sun set over the paddock, casting long shadows on the asphalt, you found yourself approached by Charles. The awkwardness of the situation lingered, but Charles, ever the diplomat, attempted to address the elephant in the room."Y/N, about the other night, I hope it didn't complicate things for you," he began, a sincere look in his eyes.

You sighed, appreciating Charles' attempt to clear the air. "It's been a rollercoaster, Charles. The paddock has its own set of rules, and I'm just trying to navigate them."

Charles nodded understandingly. "I value our friendship, Y/N. And I want you to know that I didn't mean to create any tension. If it makes things easier, we can just be friends."

The sincerity in Charles' words reassured you, and you smiled gratefully. "I appreciate that, Charles. Let's keep things simple. Friends it is."

As the weekend unfolded, the dynamic within the paddock shifted once again. The post-race dinner gatherings became more subdued, with Max keeping a watchful eye on any interaction between you and Charles. The pit crew, ever observant, couldn't help but feel the weight of the unspoken tension.

During a team meeting, Max's frustration reached its boiling point. "I don't want any distractions during the race. Keep your focus on the strategy, not on unnecessary drama," he barked at the pit crew, the underlying message clear.

The tension in the air escalated as the race day approached. The drivers, including Max and Charles, prepared for the battle on the circuit, their minds occupied not only by the quest for victory but by the off-track drama that had become an integral part of the season narrative.

As the lights went out and the cars thundered down the straight, the intensity on the track mirrored the charged atmosphere within the paddock. Max, fueled by a mix of determination and frustration, pushed the Red Bull to its limits. The pit crew executed flawless strategies, but the unspoken tension added an extra layer of complexity to the race.

As the checkered flag waved, and the roar of engines subsided, Max climbed out of the car with a clenched jaw. The race had been challenging, but the unresolved tension off the track weighed heavily on his mind.In the quiet moments that followed, Max sought you out in the garage, his frustration evident. "We need to talk," he said, his tone cutting through the post-race chaos.You followed Max to a quieter corner of the garage, away from prying eyes and curious ears. The pit crew, sensing the gravity of the situation, exchanged concerned glances.

"What's going on, Max?" you asked, trying to read the emotions etched on his face.

"I don't get it, Y/N. We had something special, and now it feels like everything's falling apart," Max confessed, his frustration giving way to vulnerability.

You sighed, recognizing the complexity of the situation. "Max, we're in the fast-paced world of Formula 1. Things are bound to get complicated. But I value our connection, and I don't want anything to jeopardize that."

Max, still caught in the whirlwind of emotions, shot back, "I saw you with Charles. I thought... I thought there was something between us."

The realization hit you, and you gently explained, "Charles and I decided we're better as friends. Nothing more. I didn't want any distractions either, Max."

The weight of the unspoken tensions finally came to the surface. Max, torn between his desire for victory and the fear of losing something precious, admitted, "I don't want you to fall for him. I don't want to lose you."

The vulnerability in Max's words hung in the air, a poignant moment in the midst of the chaotic paddock. The pit crew, witnessing the emotional exchange, realized that the Grand Prix season had become a journey not just of speed and competition but of the heart.

As the paddock settled into a momentary lull, the off-track saga continued to unfold, a complex narrative that intertwined the pursuit of victory with the pursuit of connection. The Grand Prix season, with its highs and lows, promised a conclusion that would resonate far beyond the checkered flag.

Taglist:

@urfavnoirette , @itsjustkhaos

[freakyfrye]

𝕱𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨𝔶𝔣𝔯𝔶𝔢 𝕾𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰

all plots are mine, characters are not

⠀

˗ˋˏ 𝕳𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔲𝔳𝔞 𝕭𝔬𝔰𝔰 ˎˊ˗

title: just business (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: m for mature

summary: you move into a new apartment in a decent-looking complex, only to be constantly harassed by a neighbor trying to recruit you into an assassin company. this all starts after they see you using a portal to visit the human world… to buy anime merch. you already thought your life as a secret arms dealer was dangerous enough, but things get even more complicated when emotions start getting involved. (Starts before stolas x blitz)

love interest(s): blitzø, stolas, fizzarolli, asmodeus, striker

content (more to be added as story progress): angst, sex, romance, murders, weapons, etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕳𝔞𝔷𝔟𝔦𝔫 𝕳𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔩 ˎˊ˗

title: you had to be there (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: m for mature

summary: when diagnosed with a terminal disease, most people seek closure or adventure. you chose revenge, murdering everyone who wronged you, starting with your ex who had the audacity to send a marriage invite to your deathbed. fate intervened, and you died sooner than expected, ending up in hell with no memory of your past life. claiming your innocence from day one, you seek refuge at hazbin hotel. there, and along the way, you meet dangerous individuals with ever-growing obsessions with you.

love interest(s): lucifer, alastor, husk, angel dusk, vox, val, sir pentious, adam, charlie & vaggie, saint peters

content (more to be added as story progress): Yandere tendencies, angst, murders, etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕳𝔞𝔷𝔟𝔦𝔫 𝕳𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔩 ˎˊ˗

title: after the fall (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: undecided

summary: adam, the first man and one of your closest friends, finally allows you to join the team of exorcists after a lot of begging on your end. your first extermination day doesn’t go as expected when you end up against the king of hell himself, lucifer. you expected a fight to the death, but instead, you get a range of compliments and flirtations that throw you off your game. before you know it, the extermination has ended, you’re left in heaven feeling guilty and worried because you find yourself wanting to see him again.

love interest(s): lucifer

content (more to be added as story progress): angst, fluff, etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕸𝔶 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔭𝔬𝔫𝔶 ˎˊ˗

title: brownie points (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: m for mature

summary: an unnecessary move due to your parents' divorce lands you in the uneventful town of canterlot, where you'll finish your senior year at the local high school. with plans to lay low and leave behind the trauma your family left you with, you don't intend to make any friends. however, a bright and persistent student named bubble berry takes a keen interest in you, making it his mission to be the only one you get close to. you don't take him—or the town—seriously until bodies start dropping, and the true darkness of canterlot begins to surface.

love interest(s): human pinkie pie (bubble berry), briefly others

content (more to be added as story progress): Yandere tendencies, etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕿𝔥𝔢 𝕷𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝕬𝔦𝔯𝔟𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 ˎˊ˗

title: watch me (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: m for mature

summary: in a bustling modern city, your life takes a terrifying turn when a dangerous stalker gets a hold of your lost cell phone. azul, a charismatic yet obsessive man, uses the phone to track your every move and insinuate himself into your daily routine. what starts as seemingly innocent coincidences soon escalates into a nightmarish game of control and manipulation.

love interest(s): male azula (azul)

content (more to be added as story progress): Yandere tendencies, sadistic azul, etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕿𝔥𝔢 𝕷𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝕬𝔦𝔯𝔟𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 ˎˊ˗

title: stoneheart (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: undecided

summary: in a world where abilities are commonplace but you possess none, a simple stroll turns into a desperate bid for safety when a persistent stalker targets you. thinking fast, you approach a rugged stranger and ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend to ward off the threat. little did you know, he’s not just any man—he’s a wanted fugitive with powerful earthbending abilities. as you inadvertently grow closer to him, unaware of his true nature, you soon discover that love and danger are intertwined, and the truth about his identity could shatter everything you’ve come to believe.

love interest(s): male! toph

content (more to be added as story progress): etc…

˗ˋˏ 𝕻𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔶 & 𝕾𝔱𝔬𝔠𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 ˎˊ˗

title: he said she said (subject to change)

status: unwritten

rated: m for mature

summary: in the electrifying atmosphere of a bustling nightclub, you fall under the spell of boxer anarchy, captivated by his charisma and allure. what begins as a chance encounter evolves into a whirlwind romance, navigating the thrilling highs and heart-wrenching lows of love.

love interest(s): male! panty (boxer)

content (more to be added as story progress): etc…

notes:

(0) more to be added

(1) these are ideas i will play around with eventually

(2) i’m thinking of doing a purgatory story, but theirs still some holes I need to think up.

(3) the reader leans towards cis gender females, yet who prefer or are okay with they/them pronouns. i tend to do this so anyone can read it, while keeping it female based when there is a mention of sexual acts.  

[sensualnoiree]

astro notes: daily transits 8/13

Tuesday's astrological landscape brings a mix of soothing and challenging energies. The day starts with a calming influence but quickly encounters tension, particularly in communication and relationships. The shifts in the Moon's position, alongside significant planetary aspects, suggest a day where navigating emotional and interpersonal dynamics requires patience and wisdom.

Key Influences

Moon–Neptune Trine (2:01 a.m.): Soothing Emotional Waves: The day begins with a gentle trine between the Moon in Scorpio and Neptune in Pisces. This aspect offers a calming influence, helping to soothe any lingering emotional turbulence from the previous day. It enhances our sensitivity, intuition, and empathy, making it easier to connect with our deeper feelings and find peace.

Moon's Ingress into Sagittarius (3:01 a.m.): Seeking Wisdom and Perspective: One hour after the trine to Neptune, the Moon moves into Sagittarius, shifting the emotional tone towards exploration, optimism, and a desire for broader perspectives. This ingress encourages us to rise above the fray of daily stresses and seek out the wisdom or higher meaning in our current challenges.

Moon–Mercury Square (5:08 a.m.): Communication Clashes: Early in the morning, the Moon in Sagittarius squares Mercury in Virgo, creating potential for misunderstandings or disagreements, particularly around communication or differing viewpoints. This aspect may manifest as irritability or impatience in discussions, where logical precision clashes with a broader, more philosophical approach.

Venus–Eris Sesquiquadrate: Disruptions in Relationships: The tension continues with a sesquiquadrate between Venus in Virgo and Eris in Aries. This aspect can bring out underlying discord in relationships, potentially triggering conflicts related to independence, self-worth, or unmet needs. There may be a sense of rebelliousness or a challenge to the status quo in personal interactions.

Moon–Venus Square (12:33 a.m. on Wednesday): Emotional and Relationship Tensions: The day ends with a square between the Moon and Venus, which can bring a judgmental or critical tone to emotional and relationship matters. This aspect might stir feelings of dissatisfaction or discomfort, particularly if expectations in relationships are not met, leading to a test of patience and emotional resilience.

Integrating the Influences

Early Morning Calm and Clashes: Start Softly, Anticipate Tension: The Moon-Neptune trine provides a soothing start to the day, offering a moment of emotional peace before the more challenging aspects arise. However, with the Moon-Mercury square following closely, it's important to be mindful of how you communicate, especially in the early morning. Misunderstandings or disagreements could easily flare up, so practicing patience and clear communication is key.

Midday Relationship Dynamics: Manage Disruptions Thoughtfully: The Venus-Eris sesquiquadrate can introduce tension in relationships, particularly around issues of autonomy and unmet expectations. It's a time to be mindful of reactions and to consider whether conflicts are arising from deeper, unresolved issues. Addressing these disruptions with care can prevent them from escalating.

Evening Reflections and Patience: Handle Criticism Gently: The Moon-Venus square late at night might bring up feelings of judgment or dissatisfaction in relationships. This is a good time to reflect on any critical feelings that arise and to approach them with understanding rather than letting them cause unnecessary strain. Being gentle with yourself and others will help navigate this challenging aspect.

Practical Applications

Morning Meditation or Reflection: Begin with Calm: Take advantage of the early Moon-Neptune trine by starting the day with meditation, creative visualization, or simply some quiet reflection. This will help center your emotions and prepare you for any potential communication challenges later in the morning.

Mindful Communication:Speak Thoughtfully: With the Moon-Mercury square in play, be especially mindful in how you communicate today. Take extra care to listen and express yourself clearly, avoiding misunderstandings that could lead to conflict.

Relationship Awareness:Address Disruptions: If tensions arise in relationships due to the Venus-Eris aspect, consider addressing them directly but with compassion. Try to understand the underlying issues rather than just reacting to surface-level conflicts.

Evening Reflection: End with Understanding: As the Moon-Venus square closes out the day, spend some time reflecting on your emotional and relational dynamics. A journal session or quiet time to process the day’s events can help you gain clarity and maintain emotional balance.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or etsy sensualnoiree to book a session with me :)

[bkh-s-7449]

Immediately on hearing that a gesture would be appropriate, Tolya had disappeared with an intent that couldn't be any clearer. They need to scavenge something up that feels right for BKHS, or. Florix. Even without what feels like their intrusion to make up for, they'd like this to feel like a kind occasion for him. It's his day, and that matters. It simply matters.

But what would get this across? How do they communicate something meaningful? He doesn't need anything from them.. even if they suspect a lot more in common between them than would be comfortable conversation. They spend a while thinking, a while tripping into their own swarming emotions, escalating until they find themself struck by a shaky, unnecessary breathing. And then it fades back to stillness. An idea eventually crystalizes out of racing thoughts.

Is he like they were? Needing to do, to give, to serve, to justify? Can creating help fill the need, the way it had for them? It's a leap of faith. Florix is deft when it comes to movement. What about more careful dexterity? Something precise and intricate and methodical? He seems to enjoy intricacies. What about bringing creative choice into something like that?

When they present their gift, it's wrapped not in paper but in vibrant purple leaves veined through with dark green, like the leaves of a Persian shield plant. Inside of this bundle, plastic bags hold masses of metal clay, each a different composition. Alongside that, a thin leather bag of tools not human in origin, but intuitive enough at a glance. These are for shaping and carving.

There's a note that explains each tool and that each clay integrates metals found in Yorshov, where they were from. These are unique, with different visual textures and physical properties, luminescent, magnetic, conductive. It lists firing temperatures and times, and finally, tells the story that in Yorshov, there's a culture of gifting mine workers charms, pendants or figurines carved specifically for them as gifts. These trinkets were meant to bring good luck and safety through the work day, especially when brushed against and dusted in the luminescent spores used to light the mine shafts. The tradition has since broadened, but the intent has stayed the same.

Maybe he would like to try his hand at carving?

Florix’s batch-date — his birthday — is an exceedingly unusual occasion, this year. It would have been unusual anyways, for a myriad of reasons. In the Corpus, for a person of his standing, it was a purely transactional, brief affair, more often a spectral reminder of compounding debts and a shortened clock. A passing coincidence, the day his serial number went on the books. It is not something he is accustomed to celebrating. Even in a world where it was, a decade of his life had been lost to the dark. There had been nothing and no-one left to celebrate in the derelict, if they’d ever have felt so inclined. It hurts his head to try and put a number to his age, to count the years since. Nausea churns, restless, in his stomach, until it begins to creep up the back of his throat, his mouth dry, the beginning prickle of a shiver coiling around the nape of his neck. 

A soft, heavy sigh. A working set of spiracles in an iron-wrought form. The Harrower’s breath is warm on his skin, and he grows quiet and still again. He spends most of the day like that, in the gentle circle of the warframe’s arms, where The Highwayman had been reunited with them. The small dormitory they occupy is modestly decorated, furniture donated from the clan’s efforts, a curious mixture of salvage and both Florix and Highway’s sensibilities. It is also where, per Florix’s insistence that The Harrower remain at rest in a makeshift nest of bedding, they end up hosting an array of fretful visitors coming to check in on him. 

It is strange, to see the room so full, filtered in and out. A little overwhelming. The queasiness inherent is quelled by gratitude. That so many people would come to see him, his Highway, to remind him they were counting on his recovery. That it would be okay. 

It is also strange to realize that they are visiting him as well — BKH-S serial number 7449-0938, Florix-S. That they worried over him, too, and more than that, they wanted to celebrate his batch-date with him. Tolya is among them, someone Florix wishes desperately to have met under different circumstances, to have made a better impression on than the one at current: curled up frailly in Harrow’s grasp, a sheen of sweat on his pale skin, stammering almost uncontrollably if he tries to speak over a murmur. Shy, and scared. Unpresentable. He feels ridiculous. It’s the last thing he should be worrying about. 

Despite it all, Tolya did not seem to pass an unkind judgement. 

By the time they chose to disappear, the swell of visitors had calmed, in no small part thanks to their efforts redirecting The Harrower’s frantic faithful so that he could actually rest. The hush is welcome. A gift in itself. A chance for Florix to catch his breath. And upon their return, it is peaceful still. Florix had managed to crawl to his feet in fleeting stints, putting tea on the hot plate in the tiny kitchen, or lighting the incense in the corner of the dormitory dedicated to Harrow’s prayer. It smells nice. 

When Florix accepts the gift (over a cup of the tea he poured Tolya, he insisted, a Venusian mint), he seems faintly confused — perhaps not by the gesture, the mechanical idea that a person might receive a present on their birthday — but that it should be applied to him. Guilty, almost. Tolya had already done plenty for him by coming here in the first place. He does not know how to pay them back for it. He doesn’t quite meet their gaze, looking somewhere beneath, a stream of thank-yous spilling from him before he’d so much as dared to touch the parcel.

He wears gloves. They’re sanitary. They hide the unpleasantness on the left side of his body, at least on his hand. Still, when his fine-boned fingers run over the packaging, it is like he is trying to feel the leaves through the material, curious in spite of himself. It is a ritual he is unfamiliar with. Should he open it now? Would it please them? He hesitates, hoping to, by some miracle, gain some sort of innate understanding of how this all works, now that he’s in it. Naturally, he does not. He pauses a long moment, and, suddenly fretting over making his guest feel uncertain or unwelcome, he reaches out to bring the gift closer. Managing at last to unwrap the fronds from the bundle, they come away surgical and precise, left whole. 

The gift is laid bare, and Florix tilts his head. His ears (odd little things, an excess of infested material refined by some esoteric process to resemble the delicate structure of feathers), which had spent most of the day pinned back, lift suddenly, betraying an inquisitiveness. He looks very silly. If it is truly for him — it is acceptable to touch? After a moment spent waffling, one of his hands runs over the surface of the plastic covering. He applies the lightest of pressure, leaving a small, nearly imperceptible dimple in the clay beneath, feeling its give. It seems to delight and fascinate him, beneath a thin veneer of professionalism he wears like a reflex. His touch travels over the neatly arranged tools, then finds the note. 

Florix likes to work with his hands. For the vast majority of his life, it has been completely utilitarian in nature. The shaping and repair of proxies, while immensely engaging for him, had never been done just for the sake of it. Even here, under new employment, in the laboratory, he only ever follows the blueprints as they’ve always been laid out when the Tenno brought him salvaged robotics. He put them back together again, but he did not try to make something new. He reprogrammed them, but only as they would have been programmed to behave before. It is uncertainty. That he did not have the ability or the right to create, nor express something in himself. Someone made for a purpose does not deviate. 

Well, but he had — once before, earlier this year, for Highway’s own birthday. He’d made a wind-up kaithe, tiny and mechanical, composed of scrap. It served no purpose but to make The Highwayman happy. It had been a purpose Florix deemed acceptable, when weighed against the enormity of his guilt and anxiety. It had felt completely foreign in his hands. But he’d enjoyed it. And the result. Him, smiling.

Would he enjoy it again? 

When he thanks Tolya again, he briefly meets their eyes.

[that-gay-jedi]

Nobody fuckin wants to hear this but you cannot toughen people up by repeatedly violating their boundaries or being insensitive. You are not qualified to direct a stranger's exposure therapy.

Desensitizing oneself via exposure requires adequate preparation and stabilization before you even start, and then careful planning, a safe environment, very gradual escalation with routine check-ins to ensure the pace at which you're proceeding is appropriate, aftercare after each session, cooldown time between sessions, and access to some kind of self-expression or outlet and/or to non professional emotional support during cooldown.

If someone is training to run their first marathon, you can't make them more cardiovascularly fit by beating the shit out of them. Hell, even with a proper training regimen they're going to lose endurance rather than gain it if there isn't adequate rest, nutritional support, and aftercare between practices.

Being intentionally antagonized, frightened, harassed, or forced to endure unnecessary anxiety and discomfort has never once made anyone less reactive, nor more resilient, nor mentally healthier, nor easier to get along with.

Having their boundaries respected, self-expertise honoured (such as knowledge of one's own needs and limits), and autonomy supported has.

Everyone who has ever gotten on a soapbox to extoll the virtues of thick skin owes everyone who's ever listened to the lecture, read the post and/or been affected by it $100. Lotta folks owe others more than it would've cost to get the psych degree you so clearly wish you had.