#uwu here are some useful links!!

[lamplightjuniper]

hmm not really sure how calling out 84 tumblrinas who are specifically Not Voting is more useful than idk contacting 85 apathetic real-world people and trying to get them to vote instead.

it’s SIGNIFICANTLY easier to convince people to move from the middle or neutrality towards your opinion compared to people who already have strong opinions.

it looks like this:

neutral -> mild conviction -> your opinion

versus

strongly held conviction -> weakly held conviction -> neutral -> mild conviction -> your opinion

and it requires a LOT of energy to get from every single step to the next. Swaying someone once they’ve made up their mind is difficult under ideal circumstances.

there are so many apathetic and non-voters who can be reached with much less effort than people who are adamantly not voting.

If you are in the US and really care about the presidential or any elections, take a quick pause from posting on tumblr and google:

<county name> phone bank democratic party

(or <state name> if you are in a rural or very red area)

and link up with people who are actually trying to mobilize potential voters. posting can be useful but it isn’t boots on the ground.

And phone banking can be done from home in a lot of cases, you don’t physically need to knock on doors (although if you can that also has an impact) but you need to put your energy where it actually matters if you want people to vote.

[kotikaleo]

My art got stolen, edited and used for commercial purposes

This store claims to be "official" Grian merch shop and oH BOI they are clearly not. The amount of stolen art on this store is simply owherwhelming. This is just an example.

They took my art, made 5 designs and slapped it on everything they could mass produce, resulting in more than 55 merchandise pieces with art they have no right on. And I am not even counting Grian Official (like TRUE OFFICIAL) mech, and some other artist I don't know, but clearly they haven't given their consent to this. Examples below.

Official Grian merch that was limited edition btw:

Artist I don't know, please help me find them:

This one is by TheElliPelli on twitter, here is the link

And if you think that i was kidding about erased signature... HA

I already contacted them, and asked to take down absolutely everything that includes my art, and also I emailed Grian himself, i don't know does he bother or not, but worth a try.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS POST

Thank you all uwu

[bluepallilworld]

Aftermare week 2024 here it comes!

Here are links to the previous editions if you're curious ;P

Last year/2022/2021

11th of july->17th of july

Prompts:

Walking in/ walking out

Blue sky/ tempest

Satiated/starving

Laughing/crying

You and me/ us

Building/destroying

The sun is shining/the sky is crying/the clouds are thriving

Rules:

the ship "aftermare" is between Geno and passive/uncorrupted Nightmare. You can use the corrupted version but the 2 must have known the other before corruption <3

-you can add other ships or ocs etc as long as aftermare remain the main pairing!

-any art can be used (drawing, writing, cooking, sewing, snorkeling...)

-you can use aus

- Nightmare must be adult obviously !!!!! (I'm saying that since canonly Night' had the accident when he was 6 >w<) (unless you're making the two children and going for a platonic angle)

-there are 2 prompts for each day, you must choose one OwO/ (last day is special with 3)

-Ooooooor you can mix the two prompts ;). For exemple : day 5 -> "you and us" etc (it's a bit harder to do that with this year's prompts :3)

-only SFW please UwU (light gore is autorized as long as it is tagged properly)

-romantic or platonic ship your choice ;)

-Have fun, mess around, break the rules (not the rules I'm writing here tho 'k òwó). I love seeing creativity ! Jump over days, mess with the order, find an original way to follow the prompts or just ignore them ! The prompts are more guidelines than anything :D

-don't forget to tag it as "aftermare week 2024" so people who want to avoid it can!!! (And tag me I wanna see everything) 🎉

If you're going to participate or are just interested by the event, don't hesitate to give this post a reblog ÙwÚ

Or to ask questions if you have some ;3

[astarionancuntnin]

Undisclosed Desires (Chapter 2)

summary: its the day after you and astarion indulged in each other's embrace. it shouldve been a once done deal, nothing more, but that last night ended with you questioning your feelings for the pale elf. you struggle to come to terms with those and the day might prove more difficult as you get trapped alone with him in a secluded dungeon

or in short:

rating: E

word count: 4k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, sorceress tav)

cw: 18+. smut, porn with little-to-no plot, karlach gets hurt for the sake of the porn (shes doing her part o7), denial of feelings, sexual tension through the roof, dom!tav/reader, teasing, dry humping, begging, ear licking, vampire bites, kinda praise kink, sorta breeding kink, your honor- theyre both brat switches fighting to top the other.

a/n: at long last, chapter 2! i had so much fun with the dialogues, i hope you enjoy them as much as i did uwu. also, inspo song at the beginning is the same as chapter 1, but a different part of the song, and end of chapter song is a different one (that i linked at the end). let me know how you feel about the dynamic in this chapter 👀

Masterlist

previous chapter

read on ao3

next chapter

or keep reading down below ~

I shut my eyes

You call but I just cut the line

I know your style

I know that you want one more night

And I'm backsliding

Into this just one more time

-

You wake up this morning to the sound of your companions talking nearby. Instinctively, you reach for the spot next to you, only to find it empty. Figures. If it wasn’t for the aching pain in your muscles and the dizziness of your mind, you’d think what happened last night was just a dream.

The way Astarion had ravaged your body, how feral he was, the taste of him on your lips, how he felt between your legs…

Instinctively, you rub your thighs together, chasing the feeling from the previous night. You already feel that warmth between your legs as a result of those memories flooding back to you. You hear laughing outside your tent and it brings you back to the present moment ; your companions are probably waiting for you.

You quickly push aside any thoughts of him and reach for your clothes to get dressed up for the day. You take some time to prepare for what your companions have to say about the sounds that came from your tent last night. They had to have heard.

As you take your first step outside, Karlach is the first to greet you.

“Hey Soldier! Slept well? Doubt it was restful but it looks like you had the time of your life!” She nudges you.

“You can say that again! Those screams made me believe she was dying in there!” Shadowheart shouts, sitting near the campfire, before her and Karlach start laughing.

You feel yourself turn redder after each remark. Hells, I didn’t realize how loud I was.

“It did sound… intense. Are you sure you’re alright?” Wyll speaks up, more worried about you.

You lift your blushing face which was hiding in shame between your hands. “Oh, yeah no, I’m fine just- um,” you turn to Shadowheart, “Can I ask you to cast lesser restoration on me, please?”

She looks at you puzzled, “Can’t you cast it on yourself?”

“The only thing I wanna cast on myself at this very moment is eldritch blast, now, can you please cast the damn spell?”

“So much for the ‘great sorceress with limitless talents’,” she mocks you, reminding you of the very words you used back when you introduced yourself to her.

“SHADOW.”

“Fine, fine,” she scoots over the log, making space for you. “Come here, I’ll take care of you.”

You walk over to her and you sigh as you sit down, completely slouched over.

“Gods, he really did a number on you, huh,” she casts lesser restoration and you straighten up, instantly feeling much better. 

“Yeah, you should see the other guy,” you say, smiling, proud to have gained back your wits.

“Speaking of,” Wyll interjects. “We haven’t seen him all morning. We fully expected him to come out of your tent.”

“Huh, I did wake up alone,” you confess. “I just assumed he went back to his tent.”

“Heh! Maybe he’s still in there recuperating from your night together!” Karlach shouts, before laughing some more.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go check up on him,” you roll your eyes as you get up to walk towards his tent.

You’re glad it’s placed far enough from the campfire to be out of your friend’s sights. You didn’t want to give them more ideas if they saw you with the vampire this morning. You call out his name before opening the flap of his tent, only to reveal it to be empty. 

“Looking for something?”

You slightly jump, as if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have, and quickly turn around to face him.

“Gods, you startled me.”

He walks towards you, shirtless, with his hair still damp from his morning bathing and his trousers hanging loosely around his hips.

“Terribly sorry dear, I would never do this to you intentionally.”

His little smile is unnerving. Your heartbeat quickens, and you frown at yourself; You can’t allow yourself to falter this early in the day. You take a deep breath, your way to gain back control over yourself. 

“We’re almost ready to leave, so I came looking for you,” you try to look elsewhere but you’re mesmerized by his sight.

“Well, here I am now. Can I… help you with something?”

He raises his hand and strokes your cheek gently with the back of it, his face dangerously getting near yours. You feel your face burning hotter and it takes everything in you to push yourself away from him.

“We should really go, just– get dressed. I’ll uh, I’ll wait for you around the campfire with the others.”

You turn around completely flustered and walk back to your companions.

“Again?!” Karlach exclaims as she sees the state you’re in. “At this rate, you’ll turn redder than me!”

You wanna crawl into the depths of the hells and never come back up.

—

Today’s quest brings you to a secluded dungeon. Your findings from the previous days led you there in search for more information about an artifact you previously found throughout your adventure. If you’re correct, you should find here what’s missing for it to work. Now the only thing left to do is actually finding that missing piece.

With a swift flick of his wrist, Astarion opens the door to the lower grounds. As the door opens, you’re greeted by damp air and a musty smell. The place is dusty and covered in spiderwebs. Whatever you’re looking for must be here judging by the fact that no one has been down here in ages. You all walk in and notice that the place is a damned maze filled with countless rooms. You split up from the group, starting the search on your own, and the first room you walk in greets you with an absurdly obvious trap. You sigh, discouraged, as you fall back against the wall next to the entrance. Guess I won’t be able to avoid him much longer.

“Astarion? A hand?!” Your voice echoes through the hallways, followed by the sound of his footsteps.

He makes his way towards you nonchalantly, “You called, dear?”

“Can you take care of this?” You point towards the device.

He leans over you, his arms caging you between him and the wall, “I could, if you were to ask nicely.” His face hovers dangerously close to you, you can feel his cold breaths ghosting over your lips. It would be so easy to just tilt your head up and close the gap… No, you can’t let him win this. Last night was just a mutual agreement. An exchange of sorts. Nothing more, nothing less.

You cross your arms over your chest, creating some distance between the two of you, “Don’t push your luck.”

“Oh well, I assume you know how to deal with such an intricate mechanism then, if you’re so much better than I am?”, he wears his typical shit-eating grin.

You roll your eyes and step over your pride, “Fine. Can you please disarm this trap so we can carry on?” 

“See? Now, was that so hard?” He gives you a playful look before getting to work.

You stand next to him as he fickles with the machinery when you hear a loud commotion from afar.

“FUCK!”

You recognize the voice from your fiery friend and waste no time running towards the source of her scream, only to find her in a terrible state with Shadowheart kneeling next to her. Her leg is barely recognizable. Whatever got her rendered her unable to fight from now on.

“What happened?!”

“Godsdamned trap got me, shit!” She keeps groaning in pain.

“Alright, Shadowheart, do you think you can take care of her wounds?”

“I can stabilize her, but she won’t be able to carry on with her injuries, we need to head back to camp as soon as possible so I can tend to her,” she explains.

“Okay, okay,” your eyes wander between your friends as you’re thinking of a solution. “Yeah, okay, you’re right, I’m not risking Karlach’s life on this,” the cleric nods in agreement, “But we can’t back track now. Who knows what else this trap triggered, it might’ve alarmed someone. We are so close to finding the answer, I can't risk letting it slip past us.”

Shadowheart raises as she’s about to argue but you cut her off, “Don’t worry, I still believe you two should head to the camp. Astarion and I will carry on.” You feel Shadowheart’s glare of disapproval. “I swear we’ll be careful and we’ll run back to you guys should we encounter a situation that's too much for us.” You try to reassure your friend.

“Oooooooo, keeping Fangs all to yourself?” Karlach never missed an opportunity to tease you, even when in insufferable pain. You could respect that.

“Oh please, if it were up to me, he would be the one in that trap.”

“Rude,” Astarion remarks from behind you. You can’t help the smirk creeping up on your face.

“Fine,” the half-elf frowns in resignation. “We’ll head back– but don’t do anything stupid.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Astarion adds sarcastically, as the two walk away.

With half of your party gone, you lose no time continuing your research. You didn’t want to spend any more time than necessary with half the manpower in unknown territory. You pass a few halls and rooms, each containing an absurd amount of traps for what little they were hiding, slowly getting discouraged from your lack of findings, when you hear rumble afar.

You both still, listening to the sounds, when you realize they are making their way towards you. 

“Hide!”, you barely whisper.

Before he can react, you roughly drag Astarion with you in the next open room and slam the door behind you. You acted faster than you could think ; the sound of the door was loud and the footsteps are now getting faster and louder. You try to remain calm to avoid drawing any more attention than necessary when you see the expression change on your companion’s face, followed by him yelling.

“What in the sweet hells is wrong with–!”

You don’t give him time to finish his sentence as you push him against the stone wall by his waist with the force of your whole body, while your other hand covers his mouth. You stare intensely into his eyes and mouth a “shh”, as silent as you can, to convey the urgency for him to shut up as the rumble of the footsteps get even closer to your location. He blinks rapidly and nods, understanding your motion, but brings his hand up to remove yours from his mouth. You hear the footsteps stop nearby and your heart pounding in your chest as your breathing stills. Your eyes dart towards the door, anxiety building up in your chest. Anything could be outside. You cannot risk getting into a fight you couldn’t handle. Against his own good, Astarion speaks up yet again.

“Let’s just kill–”

And you shut him up, again. 

This time, with a kiss.

It’s a surprise to both of you. It was sudden, instinctive. You’re not sure what took over you, but at this moment, it seemed to be the best course of action. You stay motionless for a moment before pulling away, slowly. You hear the sounds outside your room getting further away and you finally breathe out in relief. He looks at you with an annoying smile painted over his face.

You notice him observing you. “You really need to learn when to shut up,” you say, a poor excuse to try and justify your actions, as a blush takes place over your cheeks.

His lidded eyes observe your lips before making eye contact again, “And you think you know better?”

“I know I do,” you frown slightly. 

He keeps smiling, that damn annoyingly confident smile. “I’m afraid you’ll have to teach me, then. I’ve been known to be awfully loud.”

You scoff. The audacity of this man.

Initially, that first kiss was never supposed to lead to anything else. It was spontaneous, a means to an end, just like your last night spent together. Anything to stop him from talking, whatever would save you from being found. But you couldn’t deny the feelings that fluttered in your stomach, the butterflies in your chest. 

He continues, his words dripping with sarcasm, “I’m sure a sorceress of your expertise must have some way to silence a noisy rogue like myself.”

You realize then : all along, you didn’t hate him, you hated the fact that you were attracted to him, to that damn attitude of his. Truth is, you couldn’t have enough of that banter between the two of you. Every morning, that was the thing you were looking forward to. There was no denying yourself anymore ; you chased the feeling of arguing with this overblown, pretentious asshole. You wanted him, in more ways than one, and in any way he would offer himself to you.

“I can think of a few tricks,” you lean over him the same way he did you earlier, your faces barely an inch apart.

“Try me,” his voice is barely a whisper by now.

You let your feelings guide your next move as you pull him in by the collar of his armor, crashing your lips against his. If he saw this as a game, you intended to win. As the kiss depends, you’re taken back to that scenario you played in your head the night before, prior to Astarion’s visit.

At the next corner, you would’ve pushed him by the waist against the nearest wall and shut his pretty mouth up. 

Your kiss started out rough, but it quickly became passionate, it engulfed both of you into a world of your own. His hands roamed up your back and down your waist, pulling you in closer, reaching for more contact. Your sorcerer robe allowed for you to feel how tightly he grabbed you and yet, it didn’t feel like enough. You wished for nothing more than having your skin being ravished by his touch.

You would’ve taken the chance to let one of your hands roam through his silky smooth, curly hair, pulling it enough to get a moan out of him. 

Oh, and how soft it was. Freshly washed from this morning, his curls felt like silk through your fingers. You let your hands linger in his hair, combing through it, before lightly pulling it back. He groans in your mouth as a response, not parting from your lips just yet, and you smile through it.

How you would’ve parted his legs with your own, and grinded against his crotch, feeling his growing bulge.

You easily push yourself between his legs and grind against him. He pulls back from your kiss then, gasping in surprise. With the threat outside the room being long gone, you welcomed any noise you would get out of him. You feel his cock getting harder against your leg and you keep rubbing him up and down, creating more pressure over his member. He rests his head on your shoulder, breathing hard, his hold on you getting tighter. 

“Hells, darling, I didn’t think you had it in you,” he pants.

“Mmh, seems like I’ve got a lot more to teach you then.”

You reach for your trousers under your robe, letting them fall down after loosening  your belt, before reaching for his, pulling them down just low enough to expose his cock which is already leaking with pre-come. He hisses when you grab a hold of him, your mere touch sending shivers down his spine.

You smirk at the visible reaction he has to you, feeling powerful over him. Such a contrast compared to your last night tryst. This time, you were guiding this dance.

You guide him towards your entrance, only to grind yourself over him. He slides so easily between your wet folds and you can’t help the moan escaping your lips. The friction over your clit is nothing short of euphoric. You swing your hips back and forth, coating his length with your arousal, as he holds onto your waist for dear life. You grab his face and pull him closer so your foreheads touch, then take a moment to admire the mess you’re making of him, and by the Gods, what a pretty mess he was. His parted lips, gasping between each stroke you would allow him, his eyes fluttering open, lost in the feeling of your thighs squeezing him, his roughed up curls from the sweat building up on his forehead. 

He was beautiful.

You feel him moving on his own, trying to change positions so he has more control, but it's not something you will allow this time. You take his hands from your waist and push them against the wall he was leaning against, never stopping the rhythm you had going on. 

“What do you think you're doing?” Your voice is coated with desire.

“Please, let me in,” he begs.

“Do you think you deserve it?”, you say, playfully.

“Gods, I– yes, yes I do!”, he whines.

“Beg more.”

“What?! I will not–”, before he can finish his sentence, you reach for his ear with your tongue and give it a lick from the base to the tip. “Mmmgh ah, fuck–” 

“What was that?” You nibble on his ear.

“I– Ah–,” his entire resolve crumbles. “Please, love, I need you please,”  he begs again, his voice faltering.

You continue to lick and nibble on his ear. “See? Now, was that so hard?” you tease, using his own words against him.

“Oh, you little– ah–!”

You cut him off as you raise your leg to hook it to his hips allowing you for a better angle as you push him inside you slowly. You’re so wet from teasing him that he slides in without any resistance.

You throw your head back, taking in the feeling of him filling you, and at the vision of your exposed neck, Astarion leans in the crook of your neck, bared fangs scratching the spot he previously fed from you. You feel his cold breath along with the wetness of his tongue, lapping at your healed wound. You sense what he wants to do and although you crave it and you would let him do it, you don’t wanna give in so easily.

You stop all motion and with him buried deep inside of you, your hand lingering in his hair grabs a handful of curls to pull him back, away from your prized neck, holding him in place. 

He growls insistently, his true nature coming back to him.

“Give me one good reason,” you tug harder.

Through his ragged breath, he smiles playfully, “I just wanted a snack for the road.”

“You drank last night, you don’t need it,” your tone comes out raspy and aggressive despite your enjoyment of the situation.

“But you want this,” he pauses, watching your reaction. Your answer isn’t spoken, as much as it’s seen : your chest rises higher with each panting breath you take, your eyes flutter, drunk on lust, and your core is dripping wet, your combined fluids leaking against your leg. “Don't you?” He knows both of you know it's a fight for control. 

You thrust roughly, once, to reassert your position over him, making him whimper. “And just what makes you think that?”

He locks eyes with you, a grin painting over his face. “You seemed to enjoy it last time.”

“Hardly.”

“My dear, you can deny it all you want, but I can read you like an open book.”

You hated how he always managed to have the last word. One day, you tell yourself, It’ll be me. But for now…

“Shut up and bite me.”

The second you let go of your grasp in his hair, Astarion dives in the nook of your neck, plunging his fangs in your pulsating vein. You cry out at the sharp sting you feel and once the initial pain settles in, you pick back up the rhythm you had earlier, making the elf groan as he drinks you in. He was right, his bites had the effect of an aphrodisiac on you. You would never tell him though, his ego was inflated enough as is, admitting it would only make him more insufferable than he already is.

His hold on you became tighter and the more he drank, the less your strength allowed you to keep your position, but the build up down your stomach only grew. You didn't want to falter so close to the end.

“Astarion…” you warn him.

He growls against your neck and takes one last sip of your liquid gold before removing his fangs from you, licking off the new wound he created to clean you up. That's something else you could appreciate from the vampire ; no matter how selfish you found him, he did seem to respect the boundaries you established. He would absolutely push all of your buttons but when it came to sex he seemed more attentive, responsive. You never wanted to fall for him, but your heart had other plans.

You cross your arms around his neck, closing any remaining distance between your two bodies and with all the energy left in you, you thrust harder, and faster, letting yourself get lost in the overwhelming feeling he provided between your legs. Now that you had experienced him once, you craved getting filled up by him, only him, as much as possible, as much as he wanted to. You wanted to be his. 

“Darling, I’m close–”

“Come, let go for me,” you breathe in his ear before licking him again. “You’re so pretty when you come inside me.”

Your last words combined with the stimulation you’ve given him trigger his collapse in your arms. He grasps your hips vigorously, pulling you flush against him, allowing him to unload himself deep inside of your womb. You fall over the edge shortly after, drinking in the feeling of his semen filling you up. You fantasized constantly about being filled to the brim by him. Used over and over again, leaking from his seed, the act merely done to defile you in his image. You clench around his length, your legs shaking as you picture yourself overflowing with his come and ride out the wave of electrifying pleasure that courses through you.

As you come down from your high and let your leg down, you reach for something to grab a hold of so as to not completely fall over. Astarion had completely slouched over the wall you fucked him over, he was not an option. The nearest thing that seemed solid enough was an empty torch holder placed right next to the door which you grab without second thoughts. The last thing you expected was for it to pull down as you grabbed it. Even less that it opened a secret trap door in the middle of the room, from which a pillar came out of. You stay in place for a moment, piecing together what just happened, with Astarion making eye contact with you, just as puzzled as you were.

Before you now stands an altar with a very clearly placed piece of dark metal, shaped strangely like the pattern you remember being described in the previous document you found. You put your trousers back on, dismissing the mess between your legs, and grab the missing piece, connecting it to the artifact you held, to see it click in place.

“No fucking way.”

Astarion smirks, as if he was responsible for your discovery, proud of himself, “Wouldn’t have found that out with Karlach now, would you?”

He will never let you live this down.

-

When you're around me, I'm radioactive

My blood is burning, radioactive

I'm turning radioactive

My blood is radioactive

My heart is nuclear

Love is all that I fear

[spacebubblehomebase]

My Official Hazbin Hotel Stargazers AU Masterpost!

Or the #HHStargazersAU Checklist + MORE!!!

But before all that, here's the general synopsis:

Charline is introducing her first ever girlfriend, Vaggie, to her circus running dad, Lucius Magne. But unbeknownst to them, Vaggie is hiding a big secret: She's Charlie's guardian angel! Tasked with setting her on the right path towards good, but to make things more complicated, the family's live-in hire, Alastor, is actually a demon that's been trying to tempt Charlie's dad to the opposite side! So how can this unlikely pair keep their respective truths hidden while mysteries start to unfold, how do they play house while playing tug-of-war for Heaven & Hell, and just HOW did they get in this situation in the first place? Well, one thing's for certain, family dinners will never be boring as feelings unravel and everything grand is yet to be revealed. So tune in~!

Or something like that...

So if this summary seems like your cup of tea and you happen to enjoy both Chaggie & Radioapple content, then hop on aboard! Because, let me tell you, the ride I've prepared is so convoluted, I wish I charge people for it, but it's FREE! Unfortunately, all updates usually depend on my schedule and plans for plot may always change. But this semi-serious story of mine follows a loose "artfic" format anyway. A term I use to mean: I write just as much as I draw. So this is both a fanart and a fanfic AU now basically. But everything for it can be found on Twitter, Insta, or Tumblr. I post just about almost the same things in each, so there's no need to look further for more! Though I won't protest if you ASK for more as in the end, this gigantic AU is just a personal project of mine and any support. Be it a little acknowledgement or a major gift of a comment goes a long way to fuel my motivation! Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way though, here's the links to my story and list of future posts that would be regularly updated anytime I remove or add something new!

Relevant Lore List:

Click title to be redirected to the post and some titles are [Redacted] for the sake of avoiding any spoilers...

-A New Day Will Dawn. ✅

-BONUS Interaction (& Ask). ✅

-Color Palette Reference. ✅

-Say My Name. ✅

-Divorce Aftermath (Ask). ✅

-Meet The Magnes. ✅

-The Stargazers. ✅

-Shadow Of His Light.

-His Pride.

-Her Joy.

-Close Calls.

-Surprise.

-The Dreamers.

-Phantom Pains.

-[Redacted] The [Redacted].

-[Redacted] That Day.

-A Cold Day In Hell.

-The Dancing Devil's Circus.

-Blossoming Feelings.

-False Start.

-The [Redacted, Redacted, Redacted].

-When A [Redacted, Redacted].

-The Last [Redacted] Lament.

-Moth To Her Flame.

-A Taste of Temptation.

-Better Than Never.

-Free Fall.

-HerStory.

-Wake Up Call.

-Seeds Of Doubt.

-Mother Knows Best.

-Fuck You, [Redacted].

-Juliet Is The Sun.

-With Tax Benefits.

-Dawn Of A New Day.

-The First Stage.

-Reprise Reveal.

-A Third [Redacted].

-The Show Must Go On.

+++++++++++++++

Related Posts:

((Asks are answered in between updates, but due to the amount of them, I unfortunately may still miss some. But rest assured I do read them! I just can't get to everyone. TvT Very much appreciate them though!))

-AU Idea Announcement.

-Magnes Are Humans (Asks).

-AU Name Explanation (Asks).

-Author Is Delulu.

-Excited To Spoil (Asks).

-Human Carmilla Carmine.

-Radioapple Dynamic (Asks).

-Alastor's Eyes (Asks).

-Questions About Lilith (Asks).

-Outdated Sneak Peek (Asks).

-Stimming Radioapple (Asks).

-Cryprid Alastor (Asks).

-Flavor Of The AU (Asks).

-Magne Discussion (Asks).

-Artist With Chaggie (Asks).

-Hug Alastor Request (Asks).

-Vaggie UwU (Asks).

-Yep. Still doing the AU (Asks).

-Alastor's Voodoo (Asks).

-Radio Signals (Asks).

-Masterpost Suggestion (Asks).

-Future Animatic Announcement!

-Dynamics & SPOILERS!!! (Asks).

-BONUS Vaggie's "dad" (Asks).

-Radioapple + Art Advice (Asks).

-ALAKAZAM!!! (Asks).

-Update about updates (Asks).

+++++++++++++++

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((Note: I advice y'all to keep on checking the original masterpost on my page and see if it's updated as it may not show the new changes in reblogs. Thanks for reading!))

-Bubbly💙

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Tag List!

Okay, so I have made a huge mistake. I have this link which takes you to a google form, I used to always get emails when someone filled it in. For some reason, I stopped getting emails and I just thought no one had clicked on it. (I have since *hopefully* fixed this now.)

It wasn't until the lovely @brunlocc messaged me that I realised I had a few requests to be tagged to my tag list that I didn't know about.

I'm so sorry!

If I've tagged you here (below the cut) it's because you filled in the form at some point and I didn't realise. If you would still like to me tagged, if you could please comment 'me' or an emoji or anything really and I will tag you from then on, if you're no longer interested, no worries at all you can just ignore this 😄

Again so sorry, it's like I've basically been accidently ignoring people :( <3

@maplemind @emma23 @ethanhoewke @blep--bloop @oscarisaacsspit

@bensolosbluesaber @marvelescvpe @catlordee @lia275 @ohnosy

@moonlightgrant @mt2sssss @mwltwo @itscoco93 @the-queen-of-fools

@loonymagizoologist @eyelessfaces @notsowonderwoman-blog @uwiuwi @Snowinseptembers

@Twwcs @amasdaydream @Minigirl87 @ravenrae-ficlibrary @Pimosworld

@purple-amaranthe @unwrittenletter @suddenlysteven @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @Joeidevivre

@marygraceee @nageill @sleepypup-beloved @Dammittjanet @gebgeb

@Reidsstuff @i-have-all-these-freakin-uwus @ominoose @thevoiceinyourheadx @s0fia4

@poppyflower-22 @twincesskorisoka @casa-boiardi @dameronshandholder @Onefinnedwonder-fm

@Chibijustuff @thevoiceinyourheadx @soft-girl-musings @nashja @wyldebloom

@wyldeflwr @raypook @moonandseatgr-yngf @queerly-anxious @simpforbritgents

@bookoffracturedescapes @asslicker333 @homuraak3mi @saturn-rings-writes @dowbastan

@Stevengrcnt @simpforbritgents @louise-12 @Lokisgoodboy @casa-boiardi

@rae-deation @roojip @swiftiegirliepop @clemdango04 @ineffablewifes

@weekendgothgirl @marcsb1tch @Chaos-in-person @lunaselena @faretheeoscar

@queer_poncho @daydream-believer19 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @Facelessmaggot @Chibijustuff 

@Avengersinitiative2012 @pigeonmama @icreatedthisat317am @daydream-believer19 @spktrgantenk

@goodybookworm @oscarssimp @iolaussharpe-24 @avengersinitiative2012 @marcsb!tch

@marcsb1tch @milkypompon @sleepilysworld @pigeonmama @iolaussharpe-24spiritofthewriter

@sub-aro @eternallyvenus @mandytrekkie @cybersoobin05 @mandytrekkie

@iolaussharpe-24 @detectiveviridian @eternallyvenus @Silver-night-m @anapnovo-blog

@spectorslut@magic-schoolbusdropout @kaidxra @bulletgoth @sadsnails69

@pigeonmama @casa-boiardi @theratscorner @toxicxmindsposts @Letherwonder

@sapphossongbird @Howellatme @krakenkitty

[joyfuladorable]

Fuck it, here's all my favorite Mikey-centric fanfics!!

There's A LOT + personal blurbs, so they're going under the cut (Mostly AO3, but there are some FFN links, too. Also, besides like the first two, there's no favoritism in the order)

2k3:

Pretend That I Never Left by redstringraven(sirimiri) - Complete/Plans for an Epilogue & Sequel!!

Fic that changed my BRAIN?! If my fanart [1 | 2 | 3] for it is any indicator, lol. I'll say for the umpteenth time that if you're looking for an Excellent Mikey fic with Perfect Characterization, this is IT (and you don't need to know ANYTHING about HZD trust me TRUST ME this fic deserves WAY more love) His swift ride-or-die friendship with Aloy will melt your damn heart!

Dragon of the Sun by ForestWhisper3 - Ongoing

My Other TOP favorite Mikey fic!! Again, fanart [1 | 2 | 3] indicator! Slow Burn(ish) Canon Divergence of Mikey unlocking his Mystic Powers as his family looks on in dismay as they struggle to protect him. The Good Shit!!!

Of Darkness And Light by Bayluff - Complete

OOOOOOO THIS ONE! Very good (also drew fanart for it)! Evil creature literally trying to consume Mikey's lifeforce from within as his family scrambles to help

A Chat With The Titan by secreterces5 - Complete

Mikey has a fun one-on-one talk with the supposedly reformed Bishop in Fast Forward. Mikey vaguely threatening Bishop, HEEHEE

A Simple Act Of Kindness by UlisaBarbic - Complete

That feel when you put your worth in what you can DO and the wish to be Acknowledged and the ONE thing you thought you did right was taken away OOGH AGH OOOOGH

Difficulty Breathing by RealityBreakGirl - Complete

Mikey did not come out of Grudge Match unscathed *smile* Truly one of my favorite 03 Mikey prompts to read about (honestly just check the entirety of the Grudge Match tag on AO3 for a fun time)

"A delivery boy! Uh, or turtle." by LollyHolly99 - Complete

Fic that has the distinction of being the first one I ever did fanart for! Gender Feels for Mikey cuz they're just like me FR!!

What Darkness Most Fears by UlisaBarbic - Complete

OOOGH AGH I LOVE THIS ONE!! Mikey has to save his bros from the clutches of an evil spirit while surviving horrifying monsters and battling a wicked fever!

Michelangelo by ForestWhisper3 - Complete

Mikey through the eyes of his family and how much they respect him and know him UwU

Mikey's Jigsaw by SailorSaysAhoy - Complete

Another awesome gender Mikey fic HOOHAA

Train-Wreck of Thought by halogalopaghost - Complete

When you're so talented you learn how to astral project but you start using it for pranks instead of understanding the drawbacks of said power and that bites you majorly in the ass big time (very good my stomach turned while reading this /pos)

A Brother's Bond by SuperKat - Complete

Mikey gets Real Sick and the fam can't help but remember last time one of them got so ill. OH MAN heartstrings WILL be pulled in this one!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by moogsthewriter - Complete

Why can't Mikey ever catch a break during Christmas! A short fic that I enjoy Immensely for Mikey being stubbornly heroic and his family desperately trying to play catch up to help him

Questioning Choices by Mystic Medjai - Complete

Fun day at the beach goes catastrophically bad and the fam has to make difficult decisions to keep Mikey alive. THIS THIS THIS!! If I could pour this into my veins for the perfectly paced plot and characterization...

When It Counts by Kallasilya - Complete

Short fic of Mikey stubbornly and bitterly proving his brothers wrong (+ Don being a good brother)

Favourite Disease by devirnis - Complete

Mikey is forced to save his brothers as his body gradually falls apart from the inside. SO GOOD UGH Mikey being forced to deal with situations on his own always show how far he can Shine!

Nowhere Boy by taizi - Complete

OOOH I dunno how I can summarize this without giving the plot away but just know Mikey pulls through by thinking of his family

To Fit the Crime by T33la - Complete

AHHH AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHH!! Mikey is accused of Murder and receives his sentence before his brothers can even jump to his defense! Oh the twists and turns of this murder mystery!!

you want to know why i sit and sigh (the night is so young it hurts) by love_killed_the_superstar - Complete

Angel and Mikey bonding over comics and unsupportive brothers So Cute)

imma be real with you (cause i started being real with me) by love_killed_the_superstar - Complete

Leo and Usagi being supportive of Mikey as he struggles to train for the upcoming Battle Nexus fight (and also maybe they flirt with each other a teensy bit)

just a hop, skip, and a jump away by baba_buoy - Complete

Mikey sick fic. Heart melting amounts of comfort UwU

Weak Link by yellowhollyhock - Complete

Sweet fic of Mikey feeling insecure about his place on the team, and Leo going through great lengths to prove him wrong like a good older brother :')

'Cause you are the sun, he is your moon/And though he can't speak, he will thank you soon by naivesilver - Complete

Post-Grudge Match Mikey waking up in the middle of the night bitter and sore and gods damn why's Raph awake, too?

Hunted by DysfunctionalRequest - Complete

Mikey wandering the woods alone in the middle of the night and having a VERY unfortunate encounter with hunters

Flipbook by T33la - Complete

Heartfelt moment between Mikey and Don concerning SAINW that makes me want to smash a cinder block against my head /pos

Dramaturgy by Completely_Unaware - Ongoing

Mind the tags! Mikey deals with a Battle Nexus loss in an unhealthy way (UmU)

The Red Means I Love You (Work) by AnonymousCritter - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS! AU of Fast Forward. Mikey isn't saved from the traffickers in time and things spiral from there

The So-Called "Champion of the Battle Nexus" by 0ozero0 - Ongoing

Grudge Match canon divergence where Mikey gets hurt a little more seriously than in canon (but still wins)

2012:

Devil took your hand by moogsthewriter & taizi - Complete

Mikey mind controlled by the Shredder moment!! *laughs through my pain and tears and screaming*

walk with open hands by taizi - Complete

Mikey gets his hands on one of Renet's watches and things go topsy turvy from there (and it HURTS ME)

(un)reality by SpectrumWriting - Complete

Mind the Tags! Dimension X AU where Mikey is captured by the Kraang and is put through the wringer in more ways than one (OWIE)

evermore (Dimension X AU) series by coffeejellyenthusiast - Complete?

Mind the Tags! Mikey was in Dimension X for over a year and he's NOT OKAY

Gravitational Collapse series by Writing_In_Denial - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS!! An Incredible it gets worse before it gets better series of Mikey being unintentionally abandoned by his brothers post-series and dealing with some Major Isolation and OOOGH IT HURTS ME SO MUCH BUT I WILL KEEP READING FOR THE EVENTUAL COMFORT

traveling so far to get there by taizi - Complete

Mikey and Raph getting stuck in an empty, post-apocalyptic world and struggling to survive (their BOND IN THIS IS SO SWEET WEH)

Rise:

nice, nice by postergirlsprank - Complete

Short fic of Casey Sr and Mikey bonding after an unfortunate encounter while on a snack run (Hey if you want more context for how this author writes Casey, go read his fic Imperfect Animals too heehoo)

either way, we're not alone by sinaesthesis - Complete

Mikey throughout the years of the Kraang Apocalypse (Lots of Loss and Hurt and Badassery)

going under by redhairedmuses - Complete

Mikey almost drowns during a fight with a mutant

Hyperactive Hypothermia by VeryAngryGremlin - Complete

After Mikey's winter wear accidentally goes in flames and a villain-enduced avalanche, Donnie struggles to keep his baby brother warm

that’s where the blood’s supposed to be! by Dragon_Scales_and_Fairy_Tales - Complete

With Raph and Leo constantly bickering, Mikey ignores a very serious injury after a fight with Meat Sweats

Clever Little Dino! by VeryAngryGremlin - Complete

Mikey trying to keep a robot pet a secret and suffering the consequences

Vs The World by DysfunctionalRequest - Complete

The aftermath of the Kraang strains the family's bonds, and Mikey feels hopelessly alone (and definitely isn't dealing with his trauma properly)

Empathy Amplified by Filsamek - Complete

When you accidentally use your powers to connect with your brothers' emotions then purposefully use them to ease their pain

Sunshine in the Rain by Carnati0n_bl00m - Complete

Probably the first fic I read after watching the Rise movie cuz I wanted to find something Mikey-centric involving Bishop and BOY does it deliver with the additional bonus of Leatherhead!! (also hey look fanart)

A Mystic Connection by rytheoneandonly - Complete

Mikey's mystic powers manifesting and evolving in ways he could never predict (aka Long Fic of Mikey stumbling to figure out why he wakes up exhausted and hurt every night)

The whole world in your corner series by GibbousLunation - Complete

Two fics of Mikey being Mikey and his bros being protective

Better Check Twice by Marz_Zero - Ongoing

Bishop captures a turtle with a bear trap (OW) and is an absolute bastard about it

Come Home Soon by Sherlock_Brolmes - Ongoing

With his brothers unavailable, Mikey (with the help of a former enemy) uncovers a massive conspiracy involving New York and the Hidden City. I LOVE THIS I LOVE SOLO DUO TEAM-UPS!!!! *PUNCHES THE AIR 13 TIMES*

Mikey's Artistic Guide to Dealing with Trauma and Fame by Origami_Nami - Ongoing

Mikey using graffiti as an outlet and accidentally becoming famous

Rook by unorthodoxx - Ongoing

Another Bishop fic of him outwitting the turtles to abduct one of them (Mikey)

Multi/Other:

Mystic Malfunction by VanillaVengeance - Ongoing

Rise Mikey accidentally portals himself to the 2012 Universe and struggles to survive and avoid this other version of his family (with mixed success). The progression of familial bonds in this is just *Chef's Kiss*

The Gauntlet by T33la - Complete

A mix of IDW & 03, a wonderful showcase of how Donnie and Mikey support each other (also, a cool invention and a big rocket and a terrifying near-death experience are involved)

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again) by Justalittleobsessed - Ongoing

MIND THE TAGS!!! Set in its own original iteration, Mikey has been immortal for as long as he can remember, and he's used to his occasional deaths (and revivals). But then his brothers find out... (AGH AGH THIS ALSO HURTS MEEEEE BUT OOGH the comfort and hope of the later chapters is so Worth It)

Whumptober 2023 series by Justalittleobsessed - Ongoing?

Collection of Mikey-centric one-shots from different iterations and feeling the HURT (Personal favorites are If Only the World Could Stop Spinning..., Just a Flesh Wound, and Not the Best of Days)

To Know Peace (You Gotta Let Go) by Deadpool1763492 - Ongoing (technically)

The Last Ronin Spoilers!! Mikey survives and whisks the new turtle tots away to live on a farm instead of being raised as soldiers. (AUUUUUU THE FEELS!! THE TOTS! MIKEYYYY!!!)

How to accidentally kidnap yourself several times over by Camildeni - Ongoing

Rise Mikey gets captured and accidentally summons other iterations (03, 12, and Bay) of himself trying to get out! They do NOT have a good time!! (but at least they have each other)

the dad diaries by angelmichelangelo - Ongoing

More TLR Mikey being a Dad (and dealing with his trauma sorta kinda)

The neighboring cell by SaltyYagi - Ongoing

2012 Mikey and Rise Leo trying to escape Dimension X together (and bonding)

Bonus Non-Mikey-centric:

Weathered Strings, Tethered Wings by Deadpool1763492 - Ongoing

(2003) SAINW AU!!! With the possibility of Don being alive dangled in front of them, the remaining turtles begrudgingly reunite to save him. Drew a cover for this with more art to come! LOVING the slow burn of reconciliation between these bitter old turtles UwU (Bitter Old Mikey my poor Bestie)

Mutant Nightmare by HamsterMasterSamster - Complete

(2003) The immediate aftermath of Worlds Collide

Hanging By A Turtle by CamsthiSky - Complete

(Rise) Literally the turtles struggling to get out of a deep pit they're hanging over

Shell Game by T33la - Complete

(2003) OKAY OKAY SO!!! OOGH Don encounters something Impossible while prepping a tracking device (for himself) and it snowballs into another Renet-involved time adventure (AND UMMM lots of existential contemplation and a surprise historical guest who's Very Cool)

Turtle Power by halogalopaghost - Complete

(2003) Immediate aftermath of the star ship reactor explosion in Exodus

Disposable by orphan_account (kudos to you wherever you are, author) - Complete

(2003) Bishop captures Don and Mikey and gives them a terrible choice

Dissection by AmevelloBlue - Complete

(2003) So much Comfort after the trauma of Worlds Collide (ie Don's interrogation and Mikey almost getting sliced open)

Find the Road by SillySocks - Complete

(2003) Perfect encapsulation of the family as they cope with Leo's absence while he trains with the Ancient One

Handle with Care by HamsterMasterSamster - Complete

(2003) April is seriously injured during a mission and has to deal with the turtles distancing themselves from her as she recovers

mind-body problem by hiraethseok - Complete

(2003) April and the Turtles Being Siblings the Fic

Healing in Tandem by Eggstasy - Complete

(2003) Canon divergence of Worlds Collide where Splinter is just a little too late to intervene before Bishop starts sawing into Mikey's shell

Let's Take Ibuprofen Together by GreenGoddessSmoothie - Ongoing

(2003) The turtles swap body and have learn to cope with each other's chronic pain

Not the Face I Know by GreenGoddessSmoothie - Ongoing

(2003) Mikey accidentally makes a wish that changes his family's lives forever (THEY'RE HUMAN THEY BECOME HUMAN AND THE PLOT IS COOL AND ALSO QUEER THEMES MY BELOVED)

The Great Skittle Heist of 2105 by AmevelloBlue - Ongoing

(2003) AU of Fast Forward where the Dark Turtles are babies instead and are very swiftly adopted by the Fam

The Labyrinth by HALFnHALF1 - Ongoing

(Mix of IDW/03) The Turtles wake up separated in a labyrinth with only a mysterious voice in their heads to guide them (and manipulate them)

“You didn’t tell me your extended family was in town!” by BoStaffsAreCool - Ongoing

Post-Turtles Forever. The 03 fam is Just beginning to wind down after the events of the movie and look who's knocking at April's door (the 87 turtles)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling someone to talk to their doctor?

I (F25) am in a fandom Discord server (yeah I know), but it has separate rooms for talking about random stuff, venting, posting pictures of pets, etc.

In one of the rooms people can ask for advice, and one person (NB20s?) asked if aroace people had advice for them or resources for them to read about being aroace because "I used to have a really high sex drive and be really attracted to my gf but now I don't and I think I might be ace"

I immediately said "Hey, if you HAD a high sex drive/attraction but it suddenly stopped that doesn't sound like being ace, that sounds like a medical condition. Do you have a doctor to talk to?"

One person chimed in with "Yeah that doesn't seem right" but another person responded with a bunch of links to places that talked about being aroace (which is fine). But they also said "Here are some resources to look at! Being aroace is perfectly normal and healthy, don't listen to any acephobic assholes who tell you otherwise <3"

Usually I hate confrontation and arguments but their passive aggressive comment and blatant disregard for what that person actually said (and their health) pissed me off so I said "Hey, did you actually read what they wrote? They WERE attracted to their girlfriend and had a high sex drive and now they suddenly don't. You realize that a sudden lack of libido can be a sign of a medical condition or side effect from medication, right?"

They replied with "I've literally never heard of that I think you just hate ace people lol <3"

I said, "Yeah, I've heard of it because I literally had this happen to me. I realized that my sex drive was extremely low (after being VERY high) and I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism which was caused by a fucking tumor lol <3"

(For anyone concerned/curious it was noncancerous and removed)

At this point a mod stepped in with the "Pwease be nice to each other!!! uwu" spiel so I dropped it.

So AITA? I have autism so sometimes I misjudge social situations but to me it seemed way more important to prioritize this persons health over them maybe being aro/ace.

What are these acronyms?

[spot-the-antisemitism]

sorry about this, HAPPY BORFDAYYYYY THOUGH!!!

I found a WEIRD one (the one time I go on twitter to check out some sources on information I find this smh)

the link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10Np8T-BwcvTSNxZ6Eab1CJxF7WC2WEUK/view?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabG_u57NdIBixWovQfntxHeHtQ941W-kK3ybTLfOlJGrYT0U3sJdsAAVkc_aem_CMA7wfvIa6CXhV3lCx_56A

like, HUH

oh hey look they support the hamas! (WHY *face in hands*)

[START TRANSCRIPT: THE SELF-IMMOLATION OF AARON BUSHNELL “This is what our ruling class has decided will be normal” – Aaron Bushnell, 2024. On the 25th of February 2024, 25 year old Aaron Bushnell, wearing US military fatigues, walked towards the israeli embassy in so-called washington. On a Twitch livestream, before dousing himself in flammable liquid, he says into the camera, “I am an active duty member of the United States Air Force. And I will no longer be complicit in genocide. I am about to engage in an extreme act of protest. But compared to what people have been experiencing in Palestine at the hands of their colonisers—it’s not extreme at all. This is what our ruling class has decided will be normal.” In the flames, Bushnell shouts, “FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE” until collapsing. The Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) named Bushnell’s death as ‘the highest sacrifice and medal, and the most important, poignant message directed to the american administration.’ Hamas stated that Bushnell ‘will remain immortal in the memory of our Palestinian people and the free people of the world, and a symbol of the spirit of global solidarity with our people and with our cause.’ The response from the Palestinian resistance and ordinary Palestinians alike is one of martyrdom, of the highest act of international solidarity. In stark contrast, Belen Fernandez explores the response from Western media in her Al Jazeera article, Suicide Vs Genocide: Rest in Power Aaron Bushnell. She writes of the New York Times headline, ‘Man Dies After Setting Himself on Fire Outside israeli Embassy in Washington, Police Say’ and at the bottom of the article, ‘if you or someone you know may be experiencing a mental-health crisis or contemplating suicide, call or text 988.’ She writes that this “implies that Bushnell was simply the victim of a ‘mental-health crisis’ rather than someone making a most cogent and defiant political point in response to an extremely mentally disturbing political reality (…) as per the official narrative, if you think it’s crazy for the US or its israeli partner in crime to commit genocide, you’re the crazy one.” Western apathy and hyper individuality cannot fathom solidarity, it especially cannot fathom international solidarity and so this solidarity is dismissed as individual pathology. Somewhere in the distance outside, american-made bombs rain down on Palestine, but in america life goes on. END TRANSCRIPT:]

(adding a transcript this time for just ease, the text was pretty damned small.)

what? guys, idk who the hell TEVA is like. the stuff before this was increasingly unhinged.

(btw I'm gonna archive this for the future, it is so unhinged it deserves to used later as a analysis on leftist antisemitism my goodness. it hits every freaking target for it.)

anyway here's the bilophy and glossary and I think it says all I need.

YES, THE QOUTE THE MOTHERFUCKING HAMAS!!!

AND YES! THEY ALSO DENY WHAT HAPPENED ON OCTOBER 7 AND A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS!!!!

this thing is something, I only skimmed through it bc idk who TEVA is. and it was mostly about them lol.

weird conspiracy theory shit?? and like they quote the hamas man like oh my god.

-pop

Oy vey Pop they're trying to blame ALL ableism on the Jew

Wow the "Bushnell really showed Isn'treal uwu what a martyr" teenagers got their hands on a fucking zine. "we didn't capitalize countries as an act of ReSiStAnCe" no you're being edgy and rebelling for antisemitism's sake

Yes tell WHAT is the metropole of Israel? WHERE is the metropole Hamasniks?! where is it?!

this is fucking gross and I think they should be boycotted and all copies of their zine destroyed for terrorism, really because it uses mental health language to ENCOURAGE SUICIDE BOMBINGS.

Also these racist fucks used the POC only phrase for black, brown and idigneous victims of state and police violence for a white man who commited suicide. This is peak cultural appopritation.

I wonder who funds this and if you follow the money will you end up with extremists or either quatar or Iran

[ganondoodle]

since i cant stop thinking about things i care about and also i cant shut up ever im gonna say my bit about the "well of COURSE they destroyed everything shiekah after botw bc it nearly killed the entire country DUH do you not understand basic worldbuilding??" type of comment i had directed at me (mostly on twitter to no ones surprise and almost exactly worded like this)

--how would you even destroy it, the only thing you can actually damage with anything are guardians and nano-guardians, anything else cant even get scratched, hell you cant even climb the darn things, are you seriously trying to tell me they somehow completely pulverized not just the shrines but titans (divine beasts), the shrine of life and the pillars holding the guardians in storage around hyrule castle and the dome beneath it (whereever that went lol) when it was built to and DID last over 10 000 years ... and if you did somehow find a way to dismantle literally all of it why would you not ... use its parts for something else and also research it (lets be real here, purahs new towers are just the sheikah towers but more impractical and would by all means not need all of the material from all the missing stuff and the purahpad is just ... literally the shiekah stone but looking more like the switch and also worse bc its got almost none of the functions the shiekah stone had) they were so integrated into botws landscape removing them and their chambers would have been so much effort better spent in other places and just so unnecessary (think of the shrines at the twin mountains, removing all of that would be so dangerous and difficult to do), removing the pillars and the dome under the castle would endanger it collapsing no? there also would have needed to be a giant mechanism down there to make the pillars rise up, why would you go and try to destroy that instead of focusing on rebuilding the most important infrastrucutre

(on a sidenote, yes there are holes to the underground in the place of some shrines but its by far not all of them .. .even so there at the very least should be some rubble of them lying about at the bottom plus in most of their places its just plain earth, or sometimes even a cave locked by some puzzle which is.... so weird)

really the only explanation would be that it all just ... disappeared after zelda sealed ganon, which wouldnt only be hella unsatisfying as an answer but also again pose the problem that i would have caused the castle to collapse considering how shiekah tech was so integrated into it... unless it turned to earth somehow ... which would explain that but still be as satisfying of an explanation as 'it was all just a dream uwu' additionally, the zonau stuff under the castle wasnt even that far down so it must have intersected with the shiekah stuff, like the pillars or the dome?? but no its all just zonau ruins now wahoo

if literally all traces were gone and totk was a paralel to botw but with zonau instead of shiekah OK, they still called it a sequel tho, they still talk about the events of botw but in a way that sounds like it was just another lost legend, the tapestry exists as well, and there are a few old guardian parts on top of the hateno institute (still feels like an oversight considering how cleanly everything else was wiped off the map), plus purahs towers and the purahpad are clearly based off of it, so it cant really be some time fuckery either, some things still remain; it just doesnt add up and its frustrating as hell .. ... especially if you were like me completely thrilled and intrigued to learn more about the ancient shiekah, what WAS that dome under the castle for?? what WAS ancient energy really and why was it found in these specific places only?? did they know about ganondorf?? if they built stuff down there shouldnt they have inevitably come across the old tunnels?? the monks literally talk to link in botw why would they withhold that info, what reason could they have?

--by far my biggest annoyance with that excuse is that ... if you are so afraid of tech you dont fully understand being taken over by the bad guy again to the point you destroy not just the titans you basically worshipped as divine protectors but also immovable shrines that literally couldnt do shit to harm you even if they were pumped up to the brim with malice/miasma after they have already become non threatening/non functional anyway... HOW could you just go and fully trust and personally play around with new tech that LITERALLY rained from the sky out of nowhere, from a group of people no one knows shit about (like at least the shiekah were still existing and had a small part of recorded history) and never cared either until now that they are suddendly everywhere, even if it cant get corrupted somehow (kinda disproven by the spirit temple) how the hell would anyone know that?? if anything this would be a reason to be MORE afraid of it

even the ancient king that persecuted the shiekah bc he was afraid of their tech when they invented it didnt order them to destroy it, just bury it, despite them of all people knowing the best of how to completely destroy it??? and zelda doesnt seem like the type that would order old history and relics to be destroyed liek that??

it would have been such a golden opportunity to show that hey, the ancient shiekah based their tech on that of the zonau, they found the mines and tech and reasearched it to built their own from it, strucutres that show they were down here building the shrines from underground, titan prototypes, you cant do anything with it, its old and broken, but its there, environmental storytelling and all that

the shrine of life especially pisses me off bc thats like .. ok it was kinda not the best maybe but it still saved links goddamn life, even if it all became useless for some reason at least leave it there as a sign of respect, if there needs to be a cave have it be half collapsed after the cataclysm or something wheres the problem

(also idk if im the only one with that but in botws true ending when zelda says that vah ruta, i think, has stopped working it seemed like a good setup for more? and that she wanted to investigate that in the sense of ah shoot i want it to keep working tho and not in the sense of hell yeah lets smash it to pieces i know this is theory territory now but it seemed like it somewhat confirmed that the titans need a pilots strong spirit to work since they are not connected to the ancient energy network and the spirits of the champions passed on at the end ... the idea that ancient energy was spirit energy either gained from luminous stones or directly spirits is so neat, and i loved that idea of hey the reason why all of the energy went out all of the sudden is bc ganondorf is breaking free after having been kept in a stasis to use either his malice or his strong spirit to fuel it all has never left my mind since i first read about it bc its such a good setup for intrigue, like oh heck the ancient shiekah werent so coolio and 100% perfectly good either, maybe they knew about gans 'future' or history and hey why not trick him or sth into being sealed against his will so that problem is out the way and whoop hes pretty much an infinite source of energy nice lets use that for our research and not tell anyone oh no we created a monster (calamity gan) l guess we are gonna use the tech we fuel with his own life against him lol, OR you could have connceted it to the zonau maybe doing the sealing first and the shiekah discovering him later and being like oh neat an endlessly rich powersource we arent gonan tell anyone about weehoo

it would have tied into the ancient shiekah stuff, explained why it doesnt work well anymore, give a reason to explore the underground and discover it all, give a reason to why it was kept a secret bc no one wanted to admit yeah we made this monster ourselves whoops, give ganondorf a reason to be this angry and make it all more nuanced bc yeah ok maybe the zonau knew about gan and in their effort to prevent it caused it instead by sealing him before he became a problem and it all started a domino effect of disasters leading into all this mess that now poor zelda and link gotta solve

im not saiyng this is the better version or that i am better but again you can literally do so much with the setup for it all and what totk ended up doing with it feels so ... not even underused but straight up backwards treading you had it right on front of you INFINITE POTENTIAL AAARGH)

theres only so much fun gameplay and fantastic music can save and man can you imagine what could have been if the story got the same polish as the gameplay and music ;__;

[candycryptids]

Two sleepy lil pals... And dreams of being able to carry him around again because he got Too Dang Big XD This was tricky to pose ! I had to look at so many buffalo, and the carrying image was actually inspired by an art piece my friend did some many years ago- I'm not actually sure if it's up anywhere (but if it IS, I'll link to it here!) Under the cut for bonus shots And Shaders used uwu [Tangy, the hrothgar, uses She/Her!]

WE GOT [Kore - Potatoes and Molasses] [Komi - Sashimi] (also used in the additional angle of sleepy times) [Kore - Horse And I] and [Neneko Essence (Gameplay] These were silly and fun to take x3 and sorta related to Cinder's uppies series xD I don't think Tangy can really lift Meatball after he gets this big, but.... In dreams anything is possible right? Remember to lift with your knees Tangy!

[fishrights69]

My Top 5 GARBAGE fish that suck

Here we go again. After receiving a very high ammount of notes!! (61 UwU) on the last fish list, here's another top 5 no one asked for. I've tried to use the reasoning of ''all fish are good'' but let's be honest, we'd be better off without these. 5. Monkfish🙏

So these things are weird as hell. Their ugliness alone landed them on this list. Not only are they ugly as shit, but they're also mean motherfuckers that eat basically anything. They like to cover themselves in mud and just chill there until something crosses their path which imo is fucking lazy. Some people do eat them as a delicacy apparently(ew?). Props to them for getting over the looks. Ugly/10 5/10 for laziness 4.Hairy Frog Fish💇‍♀️

If you wonder wtf are you looking at, this fish is the living embodiment of that feeling you get when you find hair in your food. This girlie loves to swallow as it's mouth can open to make space for fish almost twice her size so don't go sitting too close 💦 Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that she looks like a mistake. 4/10 appearance 8/10 for the deep throating skills 3. Goblin Shark 👺

First of all, these sharks look like if someone designed a fish based on a child's drawing of a shark. Instead of going the terrifying route and choosing one of these pictures, I opted for a derpy yet still creepy photo. Besides being quite good at ambushing prey, these dudes still tend to eat man made garbage which further argues their position on ''the garbage fish top5™''. They also are basically living fossils since they're old af and most of their body is atrophied. 3/10 appearance 6/10 for still living so long despite everything.

2.Bony-Eared Assfish🍑

This fish is for all ass obsessed fuckers. Grilling this baby and enjoying it counts as eating ass. Some cool facts about him: -The bony-eared assfish has the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio out of all vertebrates. -Assfish are soft and flabby with a light skeleton (so like a real ass) As for personality, they are not what I'd call assholes. They are quite sluggish as they prefer to sort of flap around with short bursts of energy instead of swim. They don't do much besides that which makes them a very underwhelming fish despite the sexy name :( Apparently they were given this name to make up for how utterly boring they are. 2/10 appearance 1/10 Interest in them or what they are good for (spoiler, nothing)

If you're a fish enthusiast, you probably know what's coming at nr.1 🥁 🥁 1. Ocean Sunfish☀️

There are far, faar too many reasons for this fish to be on the first spot. Not only are they the dumbest fish in the whole world, but they also are not good swimmers AT ALL (wtf is with these poorly designed fish who cannot swim??). Scientists are still perplexed at how this fish continues to stay alive. If you want more shitty facts about them, here's a link to a very famous post trashing these bitches. BUT, I have my very own reason to hate the sunfish. One cursed morning, I decided to go get educated about animals and visit Naturalis, a museum in Leiden, The Netherlands. I was having a blast looking at all the beautiful animals showcased, along with the cool facts and atmosphere. I excitedly get to the aquatic creatures floor and mesmerised, I try to take in all the beauty. At the long corridor nearing the exit, I look around admiring the fish that were displayed. Thinking I had seen it all, I move further when I turn a corner and out of nowhere.. . . . . . . . BAM

this GIANT motherfucker, hidden in a corner makes it's presence known. I'm not kidding when I say this thing is huge. Here's a picture of the replica from another angle for size reference. As you can guess, I was legit extremely spooked and actually screamed. :( 0/10 appearence 0/10 fuck this thing. useless and it gave me a heart attack

BONUS: I'm sorry but I think I've tortured myself and you enough, so to make up for it, here's a cute fishy instead: (take him)

Alright thanks for reading and follow for more fish content. Suggest me some more top5's I could do, be it fish related, or whatever your mind decides to curse me with. Still need to cleanse yours eyes? My top 5 coolest fish

[wooyoungisbaby]

Finally sat down to make a proper list. This took a fuckin WHILE!!

All of these are member/member, literally all the xreader i've read is here on tumblr. I'm always open to recommendations, don't be shy o send some my way ^^

Please let me know if any of the links are broken or wrong! :) DM me if you wanna ask for clarifications about anything, i'd be happy to help :)

Red title: contains smut. most of this list is just smut :') Blue title: angst

Sillage by BBQkitten | 90k · OT8 · MG centric · omegaverse · mind the tags

After suffering a particularly horrible physical assault from his pack leader, a very traumatized alpha Mingi gets adopted by Hongjoong's pack. Here, he finally starts the journey to healing from the abuse he suffered in his childhood and young adulthood.

We Got Innocence for Days by CoffeeKitten | 24k (ongoing) · OT8 · WY centric · omegaverse

- Wooyoung is an omega who has never had a home, and his past gave him a lot of shame about his own natural behaviours T_T He's taken in by the rest of AU-teez, and they begin to show him that he's great the way he is :')

Collar Full by long_green_onion | 6k · OT8, WY centric · incubus WY

Wooyoung is an incubus, and dating the rest of ATEEZ. None of them knows what he is, and he feels guilt for hiding this secret from his partners. After a while of not having sex, he's starting to have serious hunger issues. Which is to say, he needs sex or he gon die. But none of the others want to fuck him bc he looks like he's dying - which hE IS.

Digression by ImNotSorryImThirsty | 4k · everyone except matz · WY centric · kinky

Wooyoung has been a big ol brat recently, and his boyfriends team up to punish him thoroughly. A great time is had by all.

Don't want to stay in the dark || 7k · YS centric · OT8 · omegaverse · omega YS · hurt/comfort

After a horrible dance practice and the thought that maybe his pack did not want him, Yeosang goes into heat for the very first time.

Libido by cosywoo | 12k · OT8 · CS centric · omegaverse · trans characters, both primary and secondary gender

A mix of medicines, remedies, and sex are pushing San ever closer to the bliss of being bitched, and he loves it.

How To Care For Your Song Mingi by twoshotrobot | 3k · OT8 · MG centric · everyone else's POV

A home made documentary about how to keep Mingies happy and content. Spoiler: You just need to provide him with enrichment in his enclosure, by which i mean. well. peanits.

Now The Time Stands Still by kittenhwa | 2k · OT8 · MG centric · kink · sub MG

#gangbang #cock_cages #rope_bondage #degradation #objectification #struggling and more :3

Muzzled by cosywoo | 4k · CSxWYxYH · puppy play · sub WY

Puppy Wooyoung is being very bad, but luckily he has owners who are ready to degrade punish train him :)

Play Pretend by beanguni | 45k · YSxYH > YSxCSxWY · non-idol AU · kink · YSxYH fake dating

Yeosang is in love with his roommates Wooyoung and San. He teams up with his colleague Yunho, a kinky bastard, to make them jealous :3c

Cast Out by beanguni | 37k · YHxMG · soulmates AU · college AU · top YH

Yunho and Mingi are rivals, but they do love to fuck.

A Child of the Sea by HJsGayBF | 8k · HJxWY · mermaid + soulmate AU · mpreg but it's a mermaid

After an injury, mermaid Wooyoung, is taken care of by the crew of Hongjoong's pirate ship. But... What is this feeling inside both their chests... No... it can't be....... unless? uwu

Don't Stop by imiyoko | 1,5k · HJxWY · mean dom HJ

"This was supposed to be a punishment — Edging you while I use you" Hongjoong sneered, "But you just take everything I give you like the toy you are, huh?"

Under My Skin by geshulins | 7k · HJxWY · mean dom HJ

Hongjoong bullies Wooyoung and makes him cum :)

Biting Down by cosywoo | 11k · CSxWYxHJ with bg HJxSH · non-idol AU · cucking · mean dom HJ

Sannie and Wooyoung are boyfriends, but there's a real hot guy at Wooyoung's place of work. San gets cucked and he is Very into it :)

I Miss You by flowerwoo | 2k · SHxWYxHJ · fluff and smut

Wooyoung cockwarms his favourite hyungs. thats really it.

Comfort in the Night by regalmingi | 1.3k · SHxWY · cockwarming · sub WY

Wooyoung is anxious and the medicine is. well. it's Seonghwa's peanits :) how convenient that they're dating!

froot by cosywoo | 2.5k · OT8, SHxWY focused · kink

With the help of blindfolds, light bondage, a cock cage and fruit, Seonghwa helps Wooyoung practice his patience.

Desecration by ImNotSorryImThirsty | 3k · SHxWY · sub WY · background OT8 · kink: CNC, humiliation etc

Wooyoung was naughty, and Seonghwa teaches him a very thorough lesson.

Acts of Service by seonghwalazia | 6.5k · SHxWY · dom SH

Wooyoung asks Seonghwa to take care of him. In this case, "taking care of him" involves making cum so hard that he cries- repeatedly. Wooyoung loves it though.

Tool Thrash by orca_mandaeru | 2k · SHxWY + YS · sub WY

seonghwa belts wooyoung's ass in front of the members, yeosang may get involved

Tame a Brat by Moonshine_Milkshake | 4k · SHxWY · sub WY · kink · aftercare, crying

Seonghwa doms the fuck out of Wooyoung and then takes really good care of him as he cries in the aftermath :')

if looks could kill by comma | 14k · SH&YS · escort YS · protective SH · mind the tags

"We are so going to hell.” Seonghwa laughs. “‘Course we are. Together.”

Sweet Peas and Freesia by Evmoonleigh | 4k · SHxYS · omegaverse · dom prostitute SH · both alphas

Seonghwa isn’t supposed to play favorites. He’s a professional.

Lotus and Pink Peppercorns by Evmoonleigh | 5k · SH+CSxHJ · omegaverse · alpha prostitute SH · omega clients CS and HJ

“We’ve never done this before,” Hongjoong starts slowly. “My husband’s name is San. We’re both Omegas. I…can’t give him what he needs, so I need you to do it for me.”

Call Me Doberman by zesstea | 41k · CSxWYxYS mainly · kink AU · dom YS

Established couple WooSan want to try new dynamics in the bedroom, but it's not quite working out for them. So San finds himself a dom in "Doberman", Yeosang. Things... Escalate, and they all become more importamt to each other than initially planned.

We'll hold off the flood tonight by ninetyeights | 17k · CSxWYxYS · non-idol AU · fluffy!! · podfic version

wooyoung's boyfriends fall in love: the fic

Flight 806 by Evmoonleigh | 10k · JHxYS · sci-fi AU · soft mind the tags · space travel

Yeosang goes to space! :D ...He can feel something calling for him from out there, and he has no idea why.

The Feeling You Bring by moonrisematz | 15k · HJxSH · non-idol AU · friends to lovers · dom SH

Seonghwa ""accidentally"" tells Hongjoong about one of his kinks, edging/denial, and Hongjoong is decidedly not handling the information well. What happens next will warm your heart :}

Take Care of a Leader by Moonshine_Milkshake | 1.4k · HJxSH · bottom SH

Seonghwa lets Hongjoong fuck him sometimes. But this is the first time Hongjoong surprises him.

Clutch series by cosywoo | ~24k · SH centric, feat. CS and WY · eggs! :)

Tentacles and eggs man, what more do you need to know?

Imbroglio by orca_mandaeru | 3k · OT8 · SH centric · feat. CS, WY, YH · omegaverse · sub SH

Omega Seonghwa is tied up for anyone to fuck if they so choose. Wooyoung chooses to tease him bc he's a meanie!! But perhaps after that, someone will show up and let him come? óuò

It Would Cost You by lieanni | 8k · SHxCSxWY · kink · dom SH · sub CS

Wooyoung is invited to join San and Seonghwa for a scene.

And they were roommates by zesstea | 6k · SHxCSxMG · sub CS · trans CS · edging/denial

San gets that special glow™ when he goes on stage after being edged. Mingi and then Seonghwa are determined to help him achieve this.

Practice Lesson by zesstea | 7k · MGxJH · they switch :)

Mingi is unhappy that he's inexperienced in bed, Jongho selflessly offers to help him out.

All Mine by undeliveredtruth | 5k · MGxJH · gentle dom JH

Mingi is upset about a smth that happened on a game show, and Jongho takes care of him by making him cum :)

Everyone Needs Some Care by Moonshine_Milkshake | 6k · MGxSH · top + gentle dom SH · background OT8

Seonghwa likes to take care of his band mates by having sex with them. Mingi has never taken him up on the offer before, but Seonghwa is happy to help him de-stress.

Mind the tags section

Fics that depict noncon or dubcon between members.

Trial and Error || 2.5k · SH (WY, YS) · sub/victim SH · noncon

Seonghwa is the primary subject for a clinical study.

Eyes On Me by SariErrbody | 50k · CSxWY · non-idol AU · stalking, dubcon, past noncon ...

Wooyoung works at a cafe, and there's this patron who's very handsome but also very odd. The patron keeps showing up just to stare at him.

Nectar and Ambrosia by orca_mandaeru | 4k · CSxYS · superhero AU · sub CS · dubcon?

Magical girl Yeosang lets San suck him off :3

Until He Breaks by JustNothingHelps | 5k · CSxHJxWY mafia AU · noncon

Hongjoong has something San and Wooyoung want, and they are real mean to him to get him to spill the beans about its location.

Entrapped by gutsey | 5k · CSxHJxWY · mafia AU · transmasc victim HJ · noncon

San and Wooyoung need some intel from Hongjoong, the tech guy of an opposing mafia family. And well. They try to fuck it out of him :)

The Secrets Within by flamewhipper | 11k · SHxWYxYS · alien SH · tentacles · dubcon

Yeosang and Wooyoung are waiters at a resuatrant. One day, they have a very, very beautiful patron who captures their attention in a way that seems very, very unnatural.

[thedaisycrownwitch]

Tom Sturridge Movie Masterpost

Hey you guys!

So if something like this already exists, please let me know, but I am not aware of anything like this, so...this is a masterpost to share all the Tom Sturridge movies with you guys that I own.

If you have any of these movies to share, please let me know, I would love to include the links in here, in case any of the stuff gets taken down.

gif by tsintotwo

This is very much a group project , feel free to contribute and share, so new fans may have the opportunity to see some of these :3

Recent Updates:

added backups for "Sweetbitter" & "Irma Vepp" thanks to @wintersmitth ; added link to "Like Minds" thanks to @mysticalya ; added audible audio book version of "Sea Wall / A Life"

added "Hollow Crown" thanks to @peageetibbs

added "A Waste of Shame" thanks to the generosity of @thelastdayalive

added "Vanity Fair", "Being Julia", "3 Way Junction", "Skin" & "Irma Vep" thanks to the generosity of @peageetibbs

added MEGA back-up for "Far from the Maddening Crowd" and "Velvet Buzzsaw"

Vanity Fair (2004)

resolution unknown | online stream

link

Being Julia (2004)

resolution unknown | online stream

link

not me looking at these pics just going "look at the BB! bb bb bb bb bb bb" in tones only audible for dogs x.x

A Waste of Shame (2004)

720 x 576 | 1.3 GB

google drive

Like Minds (2007)

resolution unknown | online stream

stream over tubi with US VPN

The Boat That Rocked (Pirate Radio | 2009)

1940 x 814 | 2.48 GB

google drive

Waiting for Forever (2010)

1920 x 1024 | 1.51 GB

google drive

Junkhearts (2011)

640 x 346 | 383 MB movie is smol potat like me uwu

link | google drive

On the Road (2012)

1920 x 816 | 1.86 GB

google drive

Effie Gray (2013)

1920 x 800 | 1.64 GB

google drive

Far from the Madding Crowd (2015)

1920 x 800 | 1.65 GB

google drive ; MEGA

Remainder (2015)

1920 x 800 | 1.72 GB

google drive ; youtube

The Hollow Crown (2016)

resolution unknown | online stream

link 1 ; link 2

Song to Song (2017)

1920 x 800 | 1.96 GB

google drive

sidenote: idk how much he is this movie, so if not a lot, I am sorry x.x

Mary Shelly (2017)

1920 x 800 | 1.92 GB

google drive

Journey's End (2017)

1920 x 800 | 1.73 GB

google drive

3 Way Junction (2018)

resolution unknown | online stream

link

Velvet Buzzsaw (2018)

1920 x 1080 | 2.35 GB

google drive ; MEGA

Sweetbitter (2018-2019)

1920 x 1080 | 9.84 GB (S1); 15.8 GB (S2)

google drive | MEGA backup: season 1 ; season 2

Skin (2019)

resolution unknown | online stream

link

Irma Vep (2022)

resolution unknown (online stream) | 6,66 GB

link 1 ; link 2 | MEGA

Theater performances

Sea Wall / A Life (2019)

google drive

1h 22min | 75,5 MB; mp3

TW: child death & related trauma in "Sea Wall"

This is all for now, I know I'm missing a lot of stuff, if you have any links or movies you host, feel free to share!

[codfanficedits]

One fucking mistake - Part Six

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader - She/her pronouns being used

Summary: Simon lost you after making a mistake on a mission.

Wordcount: 2164 | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: DEPRESSION (and not the uwu am a little sad kind) ,cussing, swearing, grieving, angst with no comfort, conversation, blaming, therapist, mentioning of flashbacks

A/N: Part six! I would like to mention that the portrayal of the depression is the way I have experienced mine, the therapist appointment is also one that I have experienced myself. I understand that this might not be the same for everyone, but please be kind.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ AO3 Link

The days are starting to look the same, they melt together in a blur of grief.

He lays in bed, unless he really has to get out. A quick visit to the bathroom and back to bed he goes. When he is unable to ignore his rumbling stomach, he orders some takeaway, just to eat it on the couch, the empty cartons starting to flood the place. But he doesn’t care, not in the slightest, he doesn’t care when he can see the mold on the little pieces of food left in the pizza box.

He doesn’t care when he can smell himself whenever he gets into the bedroom again, he doesn’t care when he rewatches the same show for the fifth time, not a care in the world when his screentime is over sixteen hours a day. He doesn’t care when he stops answering texts, he doesn’t care when calls are met with a loud sigh, annoyed that they’re interrupting the game he was playing.

Simon despises the days he has to go to therapy, it is the only day in the week where he has to get up, shower, wash his hair and brush his teeth. It is the only day of the week where the rotten air from home is replaced by fresh outside air, and he hates it, the comfort of his home being ripped away, just like you got ripped away.

His legs bounces while he sits in the waiting room, he still feels as if he doesn’t belong to therapy, while he knows that there is something wrong, he doesn’t want to admit it, he doesn’t want to accept the help.

He frowns when he gets called in by someone else than his usual therapist, but he goes in anyway.

“Where is she?” He asks bluntly as he goes to sit down in the same comfortable chair he always sit in.

“Who?”

“My usual therapist.”

The woman in front of him frowns. “She didn’t feel as if she was booking process with you, so she asked me to take over. Didn’t she tell you?”

Simon can only shrug, truth be told, he never paid enough attention to even remember anything from those sessions. “Could be.”

Her lips press together until they are a faint line and Simon can tell he doesn’t like her one bit.

“Let me introduce myself.” She continues. “My name is Sarah, and I’m…” He zones out within seconds, pushing her voice to the background.

“Simon!” She has a fucking sharp voice.

“What.”

“I’m talking to you.”

Simon raises an eyebrow, this is the first time a therapist has been this direct to him. “Right.” He mumbles. “Continue.”

“Did you get anything I just said?” Sarah asks him.

“Well, your name is Sarah, and..” His voice dies out. “That’s all.” He adds with a sheepish tone.

“Why are you here, Simon?” She asks him, as she holds the clipboard to her chest.

Because my captain asked me to.

But he stays silent, just shrugging as she asks him that question.

“Do you even want to be here?”

Simon frowns at the second question, of course he doesn’t want to be here. “No.”

“Then why bother coming anyway?”

Because you would’ve been so disappointed in him if he didn’t at least try. But Simon knows that what he is doing isn’t even close to trying at all. It is just easier to lie to himself that he is trying.

“Because..” His voice his hoarse.

Because he wants to get rid of that feeling of guilt, that is weighing him down on his chest, the feeling that keeps him up at night, being so heavy that he worries that he’ll suffocate in the matrass if he acknowledges it. Because he wants to deal with the grief that came with losing you, because every little thing outside of the routine that he has created for himself reminds him of you. Because he wants to be happy again, but just the mere thought of it feels like a betrayal to you.

Because, because, because.

But the words leave him, just like he left you there to die by yourself, and the thought of that tightens his chest, his ribs suffocating his lungs and it feels like he can’t breathe. Short burst of air leaving his nose when he tries to wipe away the image. That familiar feeling again, a panic attack waiting in the shadows of his mind.

God not here, not now.

But Sarah doesn’t react, she doesn’t try to talk him out of it, instead she just lets it happen, observing how he handles it.

His hands pressing against his temples. He doesn’t want to think about you, about leaving you, he doesn’t want to be confronted by his mistake.

Deep breath in through your mouth, exhaling out your nose.

He remembers the advice you gave him, you’d walked in on him having one as he sat down on the shower floor. He tries to remember your voice, your face when you said it to him. But he can’t. Fuck. He can’t.

He loves you, so why is he forgetting it? Why is your face becoming a blur. Why is your voice different in every memory.

Deep breath in through your mouth, exhaling out your nose.

The panic dies out after a few deep breaths, guilt popping up like the mushrooms do around autumn.

“Why are you here, Simon?” Sarah repeats the question.

“Because I can’t live like this anymore.”

“Like what?”

A scowl forms on his face, he hates feeling this vulnerable, it makes him feel weak and he still feels as if he should overcome this with ease. “Living in my own filth because I can’t be bothered to actually live.”

“Why can’t you be bothered to actually live, Simon?”

For fuck sakes, he hates how many questions she is asking, he hates how it forces him to think about things he doesn’t want to think about, things he has crammed away in the shadows of his mind.

“Because I don’t deserve it!” His voice is louder than he wanted it to be, but part of him hopes it scares her off, that it makes her stop asking questions.

But it doesn’t, Sarah doesn’t bat an eye.

“Why do you feel as if you don’t deserve to live?”

Because you didn’t get to live.

“Because I killed her, I begged her to come with me on a mission that killed her. I am the reason she is no longer walking on this earth. She said no the first time and I’m a selfish asshole for taking her with me!” God it feels good to get that off his chest.

Sarah stays silent, and the silence causes his words to float in the air.

“She said yes herself, right?” Sarah eventually says. “Why are you holding yourself accountable for that?”

“Because she said no the first time. And I bribed her with doing the dishes.” He spat out.

God he hated how Sarah would let his answers linger in the air, it meant he had to think, think about what happened, think about his answers, think about how actions, how it affected everything.

How he would never give himself peace.

“Because I keep wondering how life would’ve been if I had accepted her first no, I wonder how I would be if she wouldn’t have gone with me. Because. I. I. I.” Simon starts to stutter, the words flooding out him, things he had kept hidden to rot inside of him.

“Because I know that she would’ve been alive if it wasn’t for me.” A tiny voice for a big soldier.

“You can’t change what happened, Simon.”

Of course he can’t! Fuck, it annoys him. “I know.” He grits his teeth.

“Do you think she would want you to live like this?”

Fuck, a cold sensation running over him, his stomach feels as if it is doing summersaults.

“No, no, I don’t think so.” He eventually admits. Of course not, you would only want the best for him, you would’ve wanted him to move on, to make something out of his life. Oh God, you were always so sweet, so innocent, and he, he took you away from this world.

That same feeling in his chest again, he presses his eyes shut.

The image of that fucking flash grenade sticking out of the debris again. Haunting him, taunting him.

As the tightness in his chest gets worse, he can’t stop the hot tears falling down.

Fucking weak.

“Simon.”

“Simon?”

“Simon!”

Sarah’s voice brings him back to reality, but not just enough, flashbacks running through his mind while he tries to feel the fabric of the chair under his fingertips.

“Tell me what is happening, Simon.”

Short, quick breaths, the tightening in his chest becoming worse, and worse.

“Simon? Tell me what you’re seeing, right now.”

He wants to open his eyes, he wants it to stop, but this is the clearest he has seen you in weeks. He doesn’t want to lose this, even though it hurt like something he has never felt before. He wants it to stop, but he doesn’t want it to end.

“The mission.” He mutters.

Silence again. He hates how Sarah lets him struggle with his emotions, his feelings, and he wants his old therapist back, whatshername, who would fill up the silence so he wouldn’t have to.

“I keep replaying the mission in my head.” Simon adds.

“Tell me.” Sarah commands. “Walk me through what is happening.”

“It always starts the same.” He begins. “Always.”

“How does it start?”

“We’re waiting for the chopper. We’re both wearing a bulletproof vest, and I make sure hers is safe. I tug on it a little, a few times actually. I would brush the skin of her cheeks with my knuckles.” It is a whisper, but it is a start.

“And then we move to the chopper, she is sitting next to me, and all I see is her beauty. It was supposed to be an easy mission and she is talking, talking about how she will let me do all the dishes she can find, she is teasing me about having to wear an apron while I’m doing the dishes.” His breathing is starting to get more controlled.

“It was supposed to be an abandoned area.” Simon continues, his hands gripping the armrest of the chair. “I let my guard down, we were joking too much, laughing too hard. The enemy must’ve heard us. And then, then, then.”

“Stop.” Sarah says. “Put the film on hold, and tell me what you see.”

“I see her, the sun high on the sky, a smile on her face, not a worry in her eyes. And then I spot the flash grenade. And I want to warn her, but it’s too late.” Simons starts.

“Okay.” No it’s not okay.

“Can you put yourself in the image?”

“What?”

“Put yourself in the situation, standing alongside yourself and her.”

Silence again.

“Can you do it, Simon?”

“Yeah.” He mutters, feeling awkward, but he can, standing next to himself and next to you.

“Is there anything you’d like to say to her?”

His heart starts to race again. Yes, yes, yes! There are so many things he would like to say to you, so many things that he wants you to hear, but that will never reach you.

“I. I. I want to tell that I’m so, so sorry.” He begins. “I want to say that I should’ve listened to her, that if I could do it all over again, I would do it differently.”

He holds back a sob.

“I want to tell her that I will always love her, that she will always be a part of me, no matter what happens, no matter how old I grow, no matter who comes in to my life, she will always matter.” The raw words leave his lips, dragging the heavy feeling from his heart with them, leaving him able to breathe for the first time in months.

“Can you hug her?”

What a stupid question. But he can, and he does, he presses his eyes shut and hugs you, and although it is in his imagination, it feels real, for him it is real. The version of you that got one more hug, tells him that he is forgiven, and it brings a little bit of peace to him.

Simon finally opens his eyes again. “God.” He breathes.

“How does that feel?” Sarah asks.

“Better.” He admits.

“Good.” Is that a smile on her lips?

“Are you going to be able to handle being alone?” Sarah breaks the silence.

“Yeah.” And for the first time it does feel like he is able to handle being alone. For the first time he wants to go outside, to breathe the fresh air. Hell, he even wants to grab the bin and clean the house.

He wants to live again.

[royalsy-queen]

Me: Mike and El work best as friends, Mileven should've stayed platonical, it's clear that them breaking up on good terms and byler being canon is where the whole story is headed

Milwakees: Will's love is unrequited, Mike and El didn't fall in love in six days, the fell in love the moment they saw each other, they have a supernatural bond 💀 Bylers are delusional

Me: *byler proof in hand, backing up sources* care to share your evidence? Is the supernatural romantic bond here with us? Are the delusional takes here with us?

Mildews: You have a brick wall for a brain, I'm going to touch some grass, is byler all you think of?

Me: yes, do you want a link to my byler playlist? also, may I have directions to my delusions? I wanna frame them lol uwu <3 *insert byler memes*

Milkvans: *disconnected*