#very different tones in all of these responses haha

[c0d33]

13, 26, 53?

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Other than the obvious people like Trump and Musk, I think my mom. She's been showing a lot of her true colors lately and I honestly can't stand her anymore.

26. What are you craving right now?

Pretty much anything since I didn't eat this morning, but a teriyaki chicken and broccoli bowl from Panera sounds pretty good right now...

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Watched Howl's Moving Castle with my boyfriend! Unless this means literally right before I went to bed, in which case it was saying goodnight to my boyfriend :>

[chaesparklez]

1.17am | gunwook x afab reader

wc: 2.3k

content: 18+ MINORS DNI

gendered descriptions, ex!bf gunwook, angst, emotional, oral sex f!receiving, heavy petting, rough sex, makeup sex, unprotected sex (practice safe sex yall)

summary: “just look at this, jagi. we’re so good together.”

1.17am. a surprise visit from the person you want to see least. well, maybe not the least…

a/n: sorry for being mia guys!! hope you enjoy this latest piece, i’m not too familiar with writing angst so hopefully it’s not too clunky haha. cross-posted on ao3 & wattpad on user @/chaesparkle.

it had been a long week of work, your social battery too drained to join your friends for a night out. you splay yourself out on the sofa, absentmindedly watching a show and crocheting. a nearby lamp illuminates the room with an atmospheric golden glow.

you sigh. admittedly, part of the reason why you were so drained was because of your ex, gunwook. his work meant you barely saw him for the past few months, eventually feeling like he wasn't making time for you culminating in your breakup. despite his begging to make things right, you just knew things would never work out. clearly he thought differently, as he had been blowing up your phone all day.

why you hadn't simply blocked him yet, you couldn't quite figure out.

a knock at the door.

you frown looking at the clock: 1.17am. who on earth could it be at this hour? you throw a cardigan on and amble towards the door.

"who is it?" you call lazily.

no response. you furrow your brows, pausing for a second before another knock resonates through the room. and you realise. two firm raps followed by another quick tap; you know exactly who was knocking. the blood rushes to your head, face already heating up in anger. you were already having a rough week and now having your space invaded by the last person you wanted to see made you angry.

“what the fuck, gunwook?” you swing the door open. 'texting me hundreds of times wasn't enough so now you show up to my doorstep?'

gunwook stands before you, expression indecipherable. he simply scans you up and down with a dark gaze.

you shake your head in frustration. 'so??'

he slinks past you without a word, making his way into the living room with you following him becoming increasingly mad.

"oh, so you're just gonna waltz into my house then play the silent act? i don't even know why you’re h-"

"because i fucking missed you!!" he shouts, turning towards you finally. his cheeks redden like they always do when he gets emotional, dark eyes blazing.

'you break up with me all of a sudden then expect me to be okay with it?' he continues. he inches closer, towering over you.

you stare up at him, gaze cold and hard.

"it's hilarious" you say, keeping your voice level,  'how you didn't contact me for weeks at a time while we were together and now that im not putting up with your shit anymore you come crawling back.'

"i told you that i'd do better. we can make it work, i'm serious." his tone low.

"why do you keep deluding yourself into thinking you can fix this? you'll literally be touring for the next two months. forget seeing me, you won't even have time to call me."

you feel a lump form in your throat, quickly turning away so he wouldn't see your eyes moisten.

"why don't you have any trust in me?" he says exasperated. he grabs your wrist forcing you to face him.

'please. give me a chance,' he whispers, gaze intently fixed on you.

all this was too overwhelming for you. your exhaustion, him being in your space asking questions you couldn't answer, and in the middle of it all, you being very aware of his closeness to you in this moment, face so close to yours you were tempted to brush the hair out of his eyes...

shut the fuck up, you tell yourself off mentally. you look at gunwook, determined to drive him out.

"why the hell should i trust you?" you say. 'all the missed calls, cancelled dates, all you did was take me for granted.'

"that's not true", his jaw clenching.

"it's how you made me feel."

"you have no idea how *i* feel. i-"

"i do. you're a selfish jerk. you don't give a fuck about me, you don't-"

"LET ME SPEAK!" gunwook yells, voice making a boom that resonates throughout the room. you jump, shocked at the outburst. gunwook looks at you intensely, eyes blazing with passion.

'i missed you everyday. it was hard for me too, spending so much time apart from you and not even being able to contact you because the managers were always watching.'

he takes a step closer.

'i was going to see you first as soon as i came back to korea. but then you texted me all of a sudden saying 'it's over' and then disappeared?? you have no idea how much that broke me.' his voice breaks on the last sentence.

you look up at him sadly, clenching your jaw and trying to control your impulse to hug him. you couldn't. not now. you didn't want to start something you couldn't finish.

"i think you should leave," you say quietly.

gunwook stays standing in the same spot clearly having no intentions to abide by your words. he inches closer to you, eyes shining.

"stop. gunwook, i said don't come closer," you warn as he takes slow steps towards you.

the look in his eyes made you nervous. it was the way he'd look at you before you'd leave a party together, giving your thigh a quick squeeze with you both knowing exactly what the night was in for.

'gunwook, seriously...' you breathe, your breath quickening. he continues to approach you silently with that intent look in his eyes, staring down at you fervently.

'really i don't think we should-' you begin to say before a long finger rests on your lips shushing you.

"quiet." he says in a lowered voice.

his hand rests on the wall beside you, his face inches from yours. he cocks his head to the side with a smile. your pupils waver as you look up at him.

"got anything else to say?" gunwook whispers, pinning you against the wall. he smirks.

a hand roams down to the waistband of your shorts, cool fingers meeting the heat of your center. you can't help but let out a shaky sigh, having forgotten what this felt like in the time you spent apart.

you stare at him fervently. tall, broad shoulders, and those determined eyes that'd observe every detail of the way your body responded to him.

and the expression on your face is more than enough to let gunwook know how you feel. you want him. all of him.

you both melt into a mess in each other's arms. your hands locked behind his neck, his enveloping your waist as you share a rough, sloppy kiss. as if you're both trying to consume eachother, as if you're making up for lost time.

his full lips lock around yours, the heat of your tongues melding as you both kiss passionately, not even moving in time as your mutual desperation drives you to take in as much of each other as you can.

you pull him closer by the collar and run your hands through his thick black hair. you bite gently on his full bottom lip and he kisses you harder, tongue exploring your mouth tasting you.

a trail of hurriedly removed clothes is splayed on the floor behind you as you lay under him on the sofa. with his body on top of you, the heat of his milky skin against yours has a flush rising in your center. you drag a hand from his broad chest down to his toned abs, and he gazes at you beneath him with all the yearning in the world behind those brown eyes. he leaves warm kisses trailing down your body, the tingle of his breath on your flesh sending a shiver down your spine so you arch into his touch. he looks down at you with an intoxicating gaze, a large hand enveloping the curve of your waist, and kisses your stomach.

"i missed this so badly," he says in a lowered voice.

he positions your legs to rest on his shoulders and begins to plant open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs. you gasp, the muscles in your thighs contracting. his tongue makes contact with your throbbing pussy, lewdly licking a stripe up your slit. your eyes flutter shut as he begins to work his magic on your center, the movements of his tongue slow and sensual at first, then increasing in speed as your hips began to undulate against his mouth, your body begging for more.

his tongue runs up and down your folds, your thighs trembling but remaining firmly locked in place by his firm grip. he laps up your arousal like a dog thirsty for water, the view of your breasts jolting as you reacted to his touch further motivating him to deepen his movements.

you moan desperately and throw your head back. his grip on your flesh tightens and he moans against your clit, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through your body. you peer down at him and feel your center flutter at the view; his muscled arms flexing wrapped around your thighs, face buried in your pussy letting out impassioned moans.

you lace a hand through his thick hair, tugging gently and moaning as he continues stimulating your clit. you make eye contact, a faint blush seeping across your cheeks at the intensity of his gaze. he picks up the pace and you let out a yelp. the relentless flicks of his tongue against your clit having your hips rolling against his tongue more and more deeply.

fuck, you really did miss him.

you plead in a shaky voice: "gunwook.. need you inside me..." and he retracts slowly from your center, almost reluctantly as he breaks out of his daze.

"oh yeah?" he asks with a sly smirk. 'guess you missed this a lot, huh?' he begins to kiss your neck lazily, his hand roaming your body again.

"s-so full of yourself.." you stutter, unable to deliver this remark as bitingly as you intend as he pinches your nipple lightly.

"don't i have a right to be?" he smiles. continuing to caress you. 'after all..' he whispers, 'isn't this what you missed the most after i came back from overseas schedules?'

his long fingers are now between your legs, rubbing along the length of your center and drawing circles around your clit. you let out a moan, stomach contracting in pleasure as your hips rise to ask for more again. gunwook really did know you inside and out. exactly how to touch you so you'd be gasping and arching into him.

he aligns his erect cock with your pussy, tip red and leaking a bead of precum. as he pushes his length inside you, you throw your head back and gasp for air at the feeling of him filling you up. his massive length still had you gasping for air even though you'd had sex countless times already. he lets out a deep moan at the way your pussy wraps around his cock and begins to move his hips, thrusting deeper inside you.

you lock your fingers around his neck so you're inches apart from eachothers faces, both hearing eachothers breathy sighs of exhilaration. his weight on top of you makes you feel engulfed in him.

gunwook's cheeks are flushed, his eyes slanted and locked on yours as you moan and whimper looking into his eyes with each thrust. he adjusts his hips so his cock starts to hit that spot deep inside you with every thrust, prompting a loud "fuck!" from you.

your pussy clenches around his length deliciously, and he can't help but squeeze his eyes shut and moan into your neck.

"fuck, jagi... feels like this pussy was made for me," he breathes.

"don't.. call me jagi.." you protest weakly between thrusts, not sure you even believe your own words at this point.

he lets out a breathy laugh and his pace quickens.

"or what?" he challenges, his voice low and husky in your ear.

his thrusts become faster and harder so you scream out in ecstasy, his strong thrusts having you moaning and gasping for air.

"ah, j-just like that.. fuck!" you cry between moans.

gunwook starts to rub circles on your clit again sending another wave of pleasure crashing over you, the overstimulation making your head spin. your hands claw helplessly at his broad back leaving red scratches in their wake. your eyes begin to water and you look at him through half-lidded eyes, his gaze meeting yours with the same emotions. his bangs are damp from perspiration, hair falling into his narrowed eyes.

"gunwook- i- please-" you stutter out before screwing your eyes shut, your jaw open in a fixed contortion of pleasure.

"what was that, jagi? can't hear you." he chuckles with a raspy voice.

the view of you overstimulated and teary eyed, literally fucked dumb, drives gunwook crazy. he lets out a raspy sigh as he watches his length moving in and out of you. your pussy is dripping wet, the sound of skin slapping against skin so raw and visceral that you both start to cum. your hips begin to rut against his, your movements and impassioned breaths syncing with eachother in time. he moans, forehead against yours.

you gaze blearily and kiss him passionately. your climax begins to run through you and you moan between his lips, your cries becoming louder as he fucks you through your orgasm.

"ah, gunwook!" you throw your head back and cry out at the feeling of his cock pushing inside you as your walls contract around him, practically having you seeing stars.

gunwook lets out a constrained grunt as he reaches his climax, biceps flexing as he grips the arm of the sofa. with a final impassioned thrust he pulls out just as he cums, hot sticky fluid coating your stomach. he sinks on top of you as you both catch your breath, a mess of slick and perspiration. your arms are wrapped around his back as he sinks his head into your neck, warm breath tickling your skin.

he gazes at you laying before him staring up at him through half-lidded eyes.

"just look at this, jagi. we're so good together." he breathes.

you regard him with half-lidded eyes, chest rising and falling against his.

"should we… start over?" you whisper.

[moonstruckme]

part 3 of sirius x remus's roommate reader when+? +$? $???? ur writing is too good frs

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Thanks sweetheart! I made an inference, so I hope I caught your meaning here haha (upon further reflection, I may have jumped to conclusions....but here you go anyway)

cw: smut, mdni, everything is consensual !

modern au

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 900 words

“Come on, gorgeous, make some sounds for me,” Sirius says, and instead you swirl your hips, laughing when he groans. 

“You first,” you tease. 

Sirius tightens his grip on you in response, fingers digging into the fat of your hips. Your breath catches in your throat, but you do your best to keep the effects of his touch from showing on your face. 

It’s always a power play with you two, and this is no different. Sirius is determined to make you finish first, and you’re determined to foil him. That being said, you don’t have all day. Remus has only gone study in the library, and the last thing you want is for him to come home to the ambient noise of his roommate and his best friend fucking in the room opposite his. You quicken your pace, and Sirius’ features tighten, hands moving hastily to your sides, trying to slow you despite what his body so clearly wants. 

“Come on, pretty boy,” you croon, but you’re panting, your clit finding traction with every movement of your hips. 

“Getting tired?” Sirius asks, something close to desperation in his tone. “We can switch.” 

“Not tired,” you say feebly, but Sirius is already stabilizing your hips against his, careful but efficient as he flips you over. He folds himself over you, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth while pushing further inside you. His teeth scrape over your lip cruelly as he moves tantalizingly slow, dragging against the back wall of your cunt. You writhe underneath him. “Fuck,” you gasp. “No fair.” 

“Sorry, darling,” he hums, not sounding very sorry at all. He nips playfully at your shoulder, relishing in your unraveling. “Can’t help myself, you just look so pretty like this.” 

Sirius looks rather pretty himself. It’s really not fair for any boy to have eyelashes so long that they brush his cheekbones, or hair so Stygian black that it glows silvery blue in the moonlight coming in through the window. His eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them, pupils blown wide enough to nearly eclipse his irises, and the smirk that twists his lips is as hot as it is infuriating. 

You try to regain the upper hand, leaning upwards to kiss under his ear where you know he likes it, but Sirius’s thumb finds your clit, drawing sloppy figure-eights over the bead until you’re arching unwillingly into his touch. 

“Fuck.” There’s frustration to be found even in your whimper as Sirius picks up his pace, rutting faster and deeper inside you. “Fuck fuck fuck—”

“You can do it, sweet thing,” he coos encouragingly. “Cum for me.” 

You could pick any one of the words that have just left his mouth to be your undoing, but together, they’re a fatal combination. You go limp under Sirius, but his cheers are short-lived before they give way to a groan as he finds his own release. Dizzy with your high, you laugh against his lips while his fingers stutter and slow on your clit. Sirius buries his head in your neck, and you blow a piece of his hair—it’s soft as dandelion fluff, the asshole—away from your mouth. 

“What’re you laughing at?” he pants. “I won.” 

“You cheated,” you argue, though you know he had, technically, beaten you. It had felt like a win for you, though. “Doesn’t count. Plus, you were like, two seconds behind me.” 

Sirius chuckles, and you tense as he lifts his head, one dark swath of eyebrow raised impossibly high. “Yeah?” he asks, getting his breathing under control as he slides out of you. His eyes stay on yours, challenge glinting like a single star in the abyss of his pupils while he moves down your body. “I bet I can get you there again in five minutes or less.” 

You try to scoff, but it comes out pitchy as his hands sweep confidently across your thighs. “There’s no way.” 

Sirius’ incisors flash when he grins. “You’re on, sweetheart.” 

You tense in anticipation, but then you hear the distinct sound of a key jiggling in the front door. You and Sirius both freeze, hardly breathing as your finicky lock clicks this way and that. 

“Rain check?” you ask quietly, and Sirius nods, grabbing his pants from your floor and tossing you your shirt. You both tug on your clothes as quickly as possible, and you’ve never been more grateful for the difficulty of opening the door to your apartment, sending a silent apology to your landlord for all the times you’ve bugged him to fix it. You even have time to check your appearance in the mirror, running your fingers through your hair before going to help Remus with the door. 

“Hey, Moons,” Sirius says, sitting casually on your couch as Remus comes in. “How was the library?” 

“It was good,” Remus replies, setting down his book bag and slipping off his shoes. “How has your night been?” 

“Good. You know, fine,” you say, with what you hope is convincing insouciance. Sirius shoots you a look that conveys an eye roll without giving one. “That lock, huh? I can’t believe they haven’t fixed it yet.” 

“I don’t know how you have so many problems with it,” Remus replies briskly, going down the hall to his room. “It always works fine for me, I just thought you might appreciate the notice to put your clothes back on.”

[rwbyrg]

Another thing I had noticed was the way Ruby interreacts with everyone vs. how she interacts with Oscar. Like her mannerisms seem to change a bit when she speaks or is near him or she treats him differently from the others. Because personally I've never seen her act very nervous around the others when she met them versus how she met Oscar, and she still does it to this day. What do you think?

I am soooooo late to answering these asks and this got sooooo long aha. Thank you for your patience. 🙇‍♀️

I have noticed that Ruby acts markedly different around Oscar than the others! And in my opinion, it is done with a great deal of intention. The thing with RG is that a lot of what makes the ship so strong is how subtle its writing is. So much of it is paralleled themes and a lot of it relies on an absence of something that is usually present. Often treating the absence itself as a presence of something to be paid attention to.

When we first meet Ruby in V1, she says she gets along better with weapons than she does with people. (Lol isn't it funny that Oscar's name means "God's Spear" haha. surely that has no correlation whatsoever... anyway).

When Ruby meets Weiss, she gets screamed at and makes a dust bomb explode in the courtyard, but by V2 so many of their conflicts are resolved and they've become rivals/besties/team partners.

When Ruby meets Blake, she's got her foot in her mouth and is super awkward... until there's an opportunity to connect with her about stories and fairytales. Then we see Ruby's earnest side come out and the anxiety in her pretty much disappears.

When Ruby meets Jaune, it's remarkably not awkward. Their shared social awkwardness and feelings of not belonging at Beacon cancel each other out and they're able to have a fairly normal conversation.

Very quickly through the early volumes, Ruby gets comfortable. As a leader, as part of her team, as a welcome part of their social circle. She's young, still optimistic and full of hope. She hasn't been given too much trauma or cause to question herself by that point. She has her moments, sure, but like a lot of kids that don't fit in much and aren't super social, she's actually really good at it once she's given the chance.

But when Ruby meets Oscar - while she has experienced some of the Horrors™ that have chipped away at her self confidence - she's not too different than usual. Not at first, anyway.

He comments on her eyes and she responds naturally by asking him who he is, she's able to be candid with her response when she's told he's carrying Oz around, and yeah she giggles a bit when they're all playing the 'getting to know you game', but she also smiles at him. Earnest, trying to make him feel at ease cause this situation is kind of weird for all of them. When they spar later, she's being a goofy kid. Sticking her tongue out at him, laughing while they throw and dodge punches, running to help him when he collapses, grabbing his wrist with very little hesitation to tug him towards the rest of the group. It's all fairly normal...

...and then the Dojo Scene happens.

With the Dojo Scene, the narrative tone of their relationship is both established and changed. Ruby comes down the stairs and she's open, at first. But as they talk a bit more, her body language becomes more and more closed off the closer she gets to him. Clasping her hands in front of her when she asks a question about his past, then hugging herself as she dares to step a little closer to him, as if putting up some kind of protective barrier.

She tries complimenting his efforts, laughing a bit to hide her nervousness, is fairly candid, and makes a bit of a joke. But the joke reveals a wound of hers that hasn't healed yet and opens the conversation up to vulnerability. A vulnerability that Oscar points out immediately. One she has not spoken to anyone else about up until that point.

"How do you handle all of this?"

Ruby pauses. She's not used to talking to people about her problems. At first, I don't think she's even thinking about herself when he asks. She nudges him to clarify what he means and he opens up about his own fears, which prompts her routine song and dance that she gives to everyone. Uplifting words, holding onto hope, keep moving forward, just don't let the things that haunt you catch up and you'll be fine.

And Oscar doesn't accept it. He isn't moved by it. He's not comforted. He rejects it, questions it, and completely lashes out. Is actually angry that she's telling him to "just press on" in spite of those fears. Is angry on her behalf that she's not being honest about her own feelings.

And Ruby cracks. She actually opens up and talks to Oscar about all the grief she keeps buried down and doesn't burden anyone with. She might have argued to herself that it was the only way to make Oscar feel better, but it's uncharacteristic for her. She doesn't usually have to go that deep to cheer other people up. When she tells him about her losses and motivations, Oscar joins her in that open doorway, in shared vulnerability... and the moment she sees an opportunity to retreat, she takes it. Not used to this closeness in the slightest.

From then on out they're still friends, clearly. Their bond strengthened, if anything... but Ruby does not know how to handle him when he has such a skill for seeing through her in ways no one else ever seems to catch onto. She's able to push it away a bit when he's pre-occupied with something else. When he's worried about the merge or his mistakes in Atlas, or they're in a group conversation, she's able to act with some sense of normalcy... but when they're alone that awkwardness comes creeping back.

When WBY confront Ruby about her decision to keep the truth from Ironwood, Yang specifically asks how Oscar feels about it, and we see Ruby falter. This is a direct parallel to Bumbleby circa V8 when Yang is the one worrying about Blake thinking less of her for her own decision. We've seen Ruby disagree with people before and remain confident in her choice... but she questions herself here because of how much she values Oscar's opinion. And their disagreement colours more of her interactions with him throughout V7.

When they're all practicing in the academy training rooms, Oscar comments on her semblance. Asking if she's always been able to do that, which is something he wouldn't ask if he didn't pay close enough attention to be able to notice such differences. She's laughing awkwardly, scratching the back of her head.

And the fumble, when they finally come back together with renewed trust - that I already dove into a bit over in this post - she's still doing it!!

She is so excited to talk to him again, to not be at odds, that she almost runs directly into his back and is all flailing arms, and awkward giggles as she tries to tell him she agrees with him. When they finally establish that they're on the same page, she's hugging herself tight, rubbing her arm, looking away from him in her nervousness. Even when she walks away she's hugging herself again. Meanwhile, Oscar is all open body language, hand on hip, hand extended to her, active listening and receptive to what she has to say.

Interesting that this conversation's themes around choosing truth over fear calls back to the Dojo Scene so well, innit? 🤔

The last example I want to give isn't about Ruby. It's about Oscar. Throughout the show, he's always been a bit skittish, jumpy, and expressive with things like loud noises and - quite noticeably - touch. Oscar's been tackled to the ground by Nora in multiple hugs, tackled by the whole team in V6 after he went missing, scooped up by Jaune after he was kidnapped, and in all of those instances there has been a noticeable physical discomfort from him. Often a flinch or a wince beforehand, only relaxing into it after the surprise of the impact is over with.

But Ruby has put her hand on Oscar's shoulder multiple times (outside the Dojo Scene) without eliciting that response from him. One of those touches made him blush, if anything. And when Oscar returns from Salem's prison, beaten and covered in bruises. Ruby is running to hug him and not only does he not flinch, he smiles with open arms, completely ready for and accepting of it. And then the narrative robbed him of the chance 😭

Ruby, despite her usual confidence, resolve, and unwillingness to talk about her issues, becomes nervous, awkward, and self conscious around Oscar. The absence of her usual demeanor becomes the presence of how much she values what Oscar thinks of her and how vulnerable he's able to make her feel. (Which, for a character as emotionally guarded as Ruby, is a good thing).

Similarly, Oscar's established pattern of resisting physical touch - even when he's injured and probably sporting a few broken ribs - is absent with Ruby. It becomes a presence instead of his comfort, trust, and (desire for) closeness to her.

While these examples aren't exhaustive, generally speaking, the absences of their usual behaviours around one another become the presence of something unique to their relationship and often serve to highlight their attachments to each other. Be it how they interact with each other directly... or how they act when they're apart. But that, my friends, is an entirely different post and I have rambled long enough for today.

[spook-inoue]

Sweet.

Hoodie x F Reader ~ (Short)

The worn out old garage with low yellow lit lights that would flicker every few minutes gave me a headache while wiping the old build up of blood that has now hardened on the many different tools owned by my neighbours. But In this very moment, the only thought I could think about was how my fingers would feel going through his hair. Would it easily slip through- Or would it get tangled up?

“ Y/N. “

“ Yes? ”

His commanding tone just made me more tense, if he could hear my thoughts it would be humiliating. But a part of me wishes he knew what I was thinking.

I’ve been working with Brian, or well ‘Hoodie’ for 2 years now. Ever since I’ve been recruited into the shit show. The operator found me in a vulnerable moment and took advantage of it. Made me another one of his minions, we all are aware that that’s what we are. But what els do we have to live for?

“ could you hand me a new cloth? “

His faded worn out yellow hoodie was tied around his waist while his mask remained on. His light brown hair was sticking out from the bottom back of his mask that would lift up whenever he moved too fast due to it not being put on properly.

“ Yeah. “

I reached down to grab a new cloth for him from underneath the bench I was cleaning tools on. As much as I hate cleaning duty, I never mind spending it with him. I held out the cloth for him to take.

“Thank’s Doll. “

Doll. Little pet names and nicknames he would throw around when talking, did he just do it to me? I’m not sure. I’ve over heard him talking to our other female Co workers. He would give them little pet names too when thanking them, I surely wasn’t special? And it angered me. But god, the affect those little names had on me. I bit my tongue when his fingers brushed against my hand as he took the cloth from my hand, I only returned a simple nod before continuing to clean.

He was a quiet man, only spoke when needing something or answering someone. He rarely made small talk, only people I’ve seen him have full conversations with were Tim and occasionally Toby and Jack. But mostly Tim. They both worked in pairs mostly, a perfect duo to pick for big assignments that needed to be done right.

A strong taste of Copper went over my taste buds, the edge of my tongue ruff and hot from the friction of my teeth. Unconsciously I kept biting my tongue without realising, I coughed out into my hand bothered by the unpleasant taste of my own blood in the moment.

Blood from my tongue was sprinkled onto my hand before I wiped it off on another cloth annoyed that I allowed that to happen.

“ Coughing blood? “

He questioned tossing a newly cleaned knife into a worn out box, reaching for the next bloodied up weapon to disinfect. His voice was monotone, but had a slight hint of curiosity in it. I cleared my throat from the copper taste.

“ Just bit my tongue. “

He chuckled, his voice low and deep. It made my heart rise suddenly, it made me nervous.

“ That hard? How? “

Now turning his head towards me, waiting for my response. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to get a kick out of it; or was actually genuinely curious. I couldn’t read him at all.

“ accident. I’m okay, got too focused and didn’t realise- haha “

A moment of silence passed between us as he took his time to respond.

“ Focused on cleaning? That’s the first. “

Just as I thought the topic was dropped I heard the sound of tools being thumbed down as foot steps approached me. His arm rested onto my bench as he leaned towards me.

“ You sure you’re okay? “

No I wasn’t.

“ You’re always so quiet around me, why’s that? “

Me being quiet? No it’s you. He leaned closer, I felt the tickle of the warm taste of copper in my mouth leaked from my tongue as a drop escapes on my lips.

“ I’m not sure what you mean? “

I know what he means. Im a very chatty person, but when it comes to him. My words get caught in my throat. He lifts up his mask only revealing his mouth and nose, my eyes widen a bit surprised. This is the closest I’ve ever seen him without his mask on, it almost felt disrespectful to look- unconsciously I moved my head to the side avoiding to look at him.

His hand grips my chin forcing it towards him, his thumb moves over my bottom lip slowly smearing the blood all over his thumb before bringing up to his face. my blood on it. He sticks his tounge out and licks the blood clean off before smirking at me, all I could do was stare. The lower part of my body screaming while I gawked up to him like a god.

“ it’s sweet. “

He said before pulling his mask back down.

“ I see what you do. “ he moved away walking to the door

“ You’re not sneaky, Y/N. “

Looks like that wished came true, and now I’m not sure if I peed myself or if it was something else.

[painted-bees]

Haha! Okay..! [[deep inhale]]

So, back before Magritte moved in with Raf, when they were first just meeting up for weekly jam sessions at the recording studio, Raf had kinda…only agreed to jam with her on the conditions that nothing would be recorded, no photos or social media posts about it, none of that. Magritte didn't care, she just wanted to play music with someone who was fun to play music with and wouldn't get bored of her after only an hour of it. She never pushed it. It never even came up in conversation. Total non-issue.

Eventually, once Magritte moved in and Raf started getting more confident/comfortable about her, he found that he very enjoyed collaborating with her on compositions, and had found himself wishing he could hear recordings of it. And so, it was him who suggested that they record some of the stuff they played, and–allowed her to post it to YouTube and such, so long as he was left uncredited or given a pseudonym. 

Magritte wasn't comfortable leaving him uncredited, and so consistently credited him as "Albatross" whenever his contributions were present in the work and recordings she posted. Raf knew about this, she never uploaded anything without permission. Her online presence/audience was very small and humble, it was fine.

They began playing at very small venues together, their "band" being named something totally different, and increasingly silly with each new gig. For Raf, this was his deliberate, careful, slow crawl out of a decade of extreme burnout. He promised himself that if it became at all stressful or stopped being fun, then he'd stop--plain and simple. 

His hard, fast rule with Magritte was "no contracts". If something required his signature, it wasn't gonna happen. He wasn't interested in getting dragged back into the "business" of music and showmanship, but he was very cautiously keen on rediscovering his joy for playing violin, and of playing to an audience. Magritte was, genuinely, the perfect accompaniment to help him ease back into it on his own terms. Though she wanted to make a living with her music, the money wasn't her goal--it was simply a thing that would allow her to keep playing music. If she didn't need the money to live, she'd have been content just playing music for fun every day for whoever would wanna listen to it. There were no dreams of "making it big" just dreams of "doing this forever, without anything else getting in the way of it". 

It's hard to say if it was due to one of Magritte's "Albatross" uploads, or if it was an audience recording from one of their small venue shows, or something else that put them on the radar, but one afternoon, Magritte received a very exciting email from the A&R division of a major record label--and experienced that ADHD bone-rattling excitement that only an impossible dream-come-true email inquiry could provide lmao.

She and Raf stop by a local coffee shop after work most days, and this was when Magritte decided to hand Raf her phone, asking if the email looked legit. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood, and she intended for the question to serve as a barometer as to whether she should suggest giving the label a chance or not. She figured, if he seemed uncomfy just assessing whether the inquiry was real and not a scam, then she wouldn't push it further than that.

But honestly, with a label this big, if it was legit, he'd at least be a little curious to know more about the offer, right?

No.

It's doubtful that Raf had even read past the first line of the email before his "pretty good mood" became stiff and cold as stone. Magritte felt the chances of a receptive outcome drop below zero as she watched the muscles of his jaw tense up.

His response was to ask, "Why are you bringing this to me? It doesn't matter if it's a scam or not, we had an agreement."

Taken aback by his hard, almost hostile tone, Magritte stammered that she thought he'd at least find the inquiry somewhat amusing, but "you're not even going to consider it, just for a second?" Raf repeated to her again that he had already told her contract and such were out of the question. She had been fine with it, she had assured him, even, that it was a non-issue. “Yeah, but–this one’s kind of a big deal.” To which Raf balked, “You thought I’d just change my mind if a ‘big enough’ company reached out to us?” And Magritte, defensively, blurted, “No, because it didn’t even cross my mind as a possibility!”

Raf pushed the phone over the table to her, and leaned back in his seat, stunned for a moment by the onslaught of his own racing thoughts and really, all he was able to say was "Why are you doing this to me? Why you?"

Recognizing that 1) she really stepped in it, and 2) she was too excited about this stupid email to abandon the pursuit of its possible offer as suddenly as the situation was demanding her to, Magritte stood to her feet suddenly, muttering apologies, saying something in frazzled tones about needing to get her thoughts straight before she said something stupid. She took her abrupt leave, but not before telling Raf that she'll meet him at home because she needs to settle her brain over a walk before she can talk reasonably with him about it. A quick “I love you” and she was out. 

Genuinely, it was the best thing she could think to do in order to avoid stubbornly, injuriously digging into the subject deeper while her ears and face flushed hot with both shame and disappointment. It wasn't going to be a productive conversation while her vision danced with black splotches under the intensity of her emotions. 

Unfortunately, removing herself from the situation as suddenly as she had created it meant that she had left Raf to sit and plummet into dread, with no voice to counter the incomprehensibly catastrophic flurry of his thoughts. 

As he had grown more and more comfortable with her, there had been a louder and louder alarm in his consciousness that told him the other shoe was gonna drop, that he had to back off if he wanted to avoid the devastating affirmation that Magritte, too, had only ever intended to use him. God, she played him so brilliantly, too. How had she managed to convince him to let her record? To post their sessions? To play in venues. How had she managed to get him to suggest it, like it had been his idea. It felt crazy to him that he somehow didn't realise it was all leading to exactly this situation. He had considered it, the notion was always there tickling the back of his mind like a persistent rash…but he really, really thought he was just being paranoid. He wanted so badly to believe he was…just being paranoid. Like a fucking idiot.

He got himself home, it was past dinner time, he didn't wait for Magritte to get back. Slammed back some sleeping meds and slam dunked himself into bed in order to avoid losing his goddamned mind.

Magritte's evening was…considerably more productive. The walk back home began with her mulling over all the ways Raf was being unreasonable and unfair for not at least entertaining the email. If the offer turned out to be no good, then it was no good! They should at least be able to discuss and consider it in a calm and mature manner, right? While it was true that he already had (and ended) an extremely successful musical career, she herself had yet to even get her foot in the door. She wasn’t anywhere near close to being able to make ends meet with her music, and her parents would never take her hard work and passion for it seriously until she was able to prove to them that it was actually worth something; that it was a sustainable, reliable path to pursue. It shouldn’t have mattered to her what they thought, but for some reason, she couldn’t help but make their approval/recognition/validation a core motivating factor in proving herself as a ‘competent’ musician. That competency, unfortunately, was measured by income and the willingness of a well known company to invest in her work. Being able to tell her parents that she was signed under something like Universal or such would have definitely turned their opinion around, and maybe…MAYBE they’d even see the value in helping her afford to study music at a university..! And shit, she’d finally be able to contribute to paying rent and utilities without breaking a sweat about it…she might even have gained an expendable income, she could finally start repaying Raf for all those little gifts and surprises he’d treat her with. Imagine.

Even before she had attempted to approach Raf about the email, she already had the picture of their life making music together as they have been–but with a more tangible goal/purpose, and without any outside obligations taking them away from just waking up and jamming every day. Playing music that just…paid for itself. Stress free!

But Raf couldn’t even entertain it. He was so upset that she’d even bring it up at all. Did he even read the email? Or did he see just the subject line and shut down?

She elected to read the email again, an effort to soothe herself by finding any reason to believe it was just a scam; that all her excitement and fanciful thoughts of the future were just her getting childishly ahead of herself. She didn't find what she was looking for. The name of the scouting agent was legit, there was no mention of money nor a fee, the email was clear, straightforward, and without any hype-y language. But what Magritte did notice–that she had somehow missed the previous fifty times she had read the email–was that the email didn’t refer Raf by his ‘Albatross’ pseudonym. It had named him in full; Rafael Ephrem. Somehow, -somehow-, the person who sent the email had been able to identify him. And–if they knew who he was… Magritte considered…The inquiry was sent to her email but the offer, specifically, was likely much more interested in him. It made sense. Magritte herself was untrained and unproven; a literal nobody. But, she was the only person Raf was making music with, and his name was very provenly bankable; a safe bet. Magritte had been so flattered and excited by the notion that she was being noticed and contacted by a label, it had been such an uplifting validation–but… The simple fact was that they likely would not have given Magritte the time of day had they not, somehow, recognized Rafael’s involvement in her work.

The offer was about him, not her. She was simply easier to get in touch with.

When she considered the situation from that angle, other aspects became apparent. Raf had, in no uncertain terms, been very clear from the beginning that he would not be signing anything with her. She knew that he was recovering from burnout, that he was wholly disinterested in pursuing music in any kind of professional capacity. Even if he had gone along with indulging Magritte’s excitement for her sake, would he have been sacrificing  the joy of making music with her, and surrendering himself to the labor of it, instead? Would it have slowly soured their relationship? If he felt obliged and pressured to create and play, would that have leached the joy out of it?

By ignoring the inquiry, Magritte wasn’t actually losing anything, herself. There was much to gain, potentially, by pursuing it–but she lost nothing in ignoring it. Things were already really good. She liked the relationship she had with Raf, as it was. He had given her a place to stay, and encouraged her near single-minded focus on music, allowed her to compose and play music as much as she wanted without pressuring her to divide her focus on other, more ‘important’ things. He didn’t take offence or feel ignored when she’d spend an entire weekend in her room just doin’ music stuff. He’d never even startle her out of the productive flow by shouting her name from the kitchen, in annoyance, to tell her for the upteenth time that she needed to clean the dishes right now. He let her pursue her joy and, often, he’d delight in joining in on it as well. This was the happiest, most comfortable she had ever felt in her life. In her mind, signing onto a label would have just let her continue doing that, but more securely.

For Raf, though…signing onto a label, being forced to take the work ‘seriously’, it likely felt like a tremendous loss to him. And–she had put him in an unfair position. If he signed on, he’d be surrendering himself to the work he did not wish to do, and would be inching ever closer to the life he had worked so hard to escape and recover from. But–by defending his own desires, comforts, and boundaries, and shutting down this whole label thing without giving it any space to sink roots as a tree of possibility, he risked planting the seeds of resentment into their relationship by denying her a potentially life-changing opportunity that he, no doubt, knew was of tremendous significance to her. From his perspective, it must have looked like a lose-lose situation. A situation that he had foreseen and took fair measures to avoid long, long in advance. He had already told her from the very beginning that this was something he would not do. But she had to test it anyway. Because she got too excited. Because of course she did.

Nah, she decided. She’d just get back home, tell Raf she was suffering excite-brained tunnel vision, wasn’t thinking realistically, and that she had therefore agreed with him that they’re much better off to just keep doing what they’ve already been doing–because that’s been working out just fine and she’d rather not introduce anything that could ruin it for them. She shouldn’t have brought it up. Even just the fact that she felt she needed to ease him into the conversation as softly as possible–by asking about the legitimacy of the email instead of diving into the meat of the matter–should have been enough to tell her that she was pushing it. She had known she was–but she bulldozed ahead with her excitement, anyways. And it had upset him. Hopefully not too much, since she felt she had taken some care with her approach, but yanno. He was clearly upset–and after going through such clear, careful measures to avoid this kinda thing, he kinda had a right to be. She needed to apologise.

By the time she got home, Raf had already put himself to bed–which worried Magritte somewhat. She never liked going to sleep without closure. But, she resolved to tell him her conclusions in the morning and hoped for an otherwise normal day.

And so, when the morning rolled around and she found Raf making coffee in the kitchen, she began with a “good morning”, an apology for not getting back home before he fell asleep, and then she simply unloaded the entire content of her thoughts and conclusions from the previous evening. She felt proud of herself for being able to reassess things with as much fairness and objectivity as she could manage, and she was confident in her choice to completely ignore the whole ‘email inquiry’ thing. More than that, she was beyond apologetic for even asking him to consider it, admitting to him that she realised it kinda put him between a rock and a hard place. She then suggested it’d be best just to assume the email was a scam anyways, “is that ok?”

Raf, who listened to her whole spiel without a single interruption, watched her for a silent moment with half-lidded disinterest (or was he just tired?) before replying with a flat, “mmhm.” 

“Okay.” Magritte had been hoping for some assurance that her reasoning, her apology, and her resolution were…yanno…adequate or somthing. But, as Raf sipped his coffee with an unconversational, chilly demeanour, Magritte wasn’t feeling assured by any measure. And so, to find an emotional baseline, Magritte offered a mousey, but genuine little “I love you.” To which Raf replied with a slight twitch of a smirk and an avoiding gaze, “Yeah, I’ll bet you do.”

Immediately, Magritte felt as though she had been tossed whole-bodily off a cliff, and didn’t pursue the conversation further. Shut right up, and spent the rest of the morning very quiet and withdrawn. Too uncomfortable and ashamed to take up space in Raf’s apartment for very long, she headed out to find a quiet, isolated park bench or something to cry on lmao, ‘cuz whuff.

Raf, who had fully expected that his snipey reply would coerce Magritte to trade out the ‘timid sad mouse’ act for something a lot more angry and defensive, was largely unsure of what to do with a Magritte–that instead–seemed to have completely shut down. Before she left, while maintaining his defensive coldness, Raf bothered to measure her vitriol by way of asking Magritte if she needed a ride anywhere. As delicately and sweetly as she could–Magritte declined, telling him it was ok, not to worry about it. And that was really the only additional dialogue they had together that morning. She should have been mad at him. She went through all the trouble of explaining things, apologising, and capitulating to him–and he deliberately stonewalled her in an attempt to get her to unmask. He had called out her bluff; she wanted something from him, he refused to give it to her, she attempted to take the higher ground, putting him in the position where the kindly, good response would have been to capitulate in kind–at least by confirming that the email wasn’t a scam after all, and reopening that dialogue for a more ‘level-headed’ conversation. But he identified the manoeuvre and deliberately shut it down. And then–out of pure spite–he refused to provide her the simple reassurance that a half hearted ‘I love you, too’ might have provided. Because he had spent the entire night and the whole morning fretting, and questioning, and dreading everything–and being the source of it, she deserved to feel it, too. But then her response had been to … ???? ????????? She left, but she didn’t take anything with her, she didn’t pack her belongings or make a show of wanting to move out, none of that kind of thing. She didn’t tell him he was being unreasonable or unfair, or that he needed to think things over. She just sorta–disintegrated in front of him. Just completely wilted. Wtf did that even mean??? Was she trying to guilt him? What else was she going to do? Likely, she intended on just avoiding him until he was ready to apologise or something. Like–if he phoned her right now, she wouldn’t answer. Right? To test his “punishment by avoidance” theory, he called her number–only to hear her answer on the second ring. And–after he hesitated for a moment too long, she asked if he was okay–if there was anything she could get him while she was out. Not having planned to actually say anything, Raf grasped for something believable to ask, landing on “Do you have your keys with you? I’m going to be at my uncle’s so the door will be locked.” To which Magritte assured him that yes she’s got keys, no worries. Say hi to uncle Bill for her.

This kinda sent Raf’s thoughts scattering. She was upset, she was -clearly- upset, he gave her reason to be upset and then he gave her more reasons to be upset. She had spent the whole morning looking downright miserable. She WAS upset, but she wasn’t…putting him through it. She wasn’t punishing him or reasoning with him or trying to position him. She wasn’t worried about him talking to his uncle, which means she hadn’t gone to him herself to get him on her side of this whole thing. What the fuck did she have on him? If she–worse case scenario–decided to get back at him by getting in contact with his mother, then she’d have to–

“Oh. I’m being crazy.” It was almost like a record skip. Any time ‘his mother’ popped up as part of a ‘logical course of action’ in what ever the fuck he was freaking out about, it served as a blaring alarm signaling that he had left grounded reality behind. No matter how much fucking sense it made to him, or no matter how careful his thoughts were in framing it as ‘unlikely’ or ‘worst case scenario’, any, ANY consideration of ‘his mother’ as a thing that could happen to him was a signpost that he had left the realm of reasonability. He made it a deliberate rule that the moment she popped up in his brain, he needed to assume he was thinking irrationally–until he could get a second opinion (and maybe a third, if he didn’t like the second). At least in this way, ‘his mother’ served as a helpful guiding figure in his life. Christ. Alright, alright. At what point did he fall off the rails, though? Magritte DID come to him about a…fucking A&R inquiry of all things. That was real, that happened. She got upset that he wouldn’t entertain it. That was also real, that also happened. How was he supposed to take that? She knew, she knew–it was something he would not do. He had told her, he had told her more than once–he was so clear about it. The rest made no sense to him, if his assumptions from that point forward were in fact…ungrounded.

And so, while he hadn’t actually planned to visit his uncle that day, Raf showed up at his door anyway. Sat down with him, and walked him through the events; the actual, physically observable things that happened, and the things that were said out loud. And Uncle Bill kinda made the “yikes” face, because…yikes.

So, uncle Bill attempted to recount from his perspective; Magritte pushed a boundary, no question. But–the assumption regarding why she did that needed to be challenged. Was it something she had been actively planning for and waiting on? Did she manipulate Raf into feeling safe enough to shed his boundaries? Did she use Raf as bait to reel in offers and interests she wouldn’t have been able to get otherwise? Well…What do we know about Magritte? We know that she’s excitable, impulsive, she projects and assumes the best case scenarios and constantly counts her chickens before they hatch. She can’t keep a secret to save her life. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, which makes her a terrible liar... Bill recites that, according to Raf, Magritte cited  excitement, impulsiveness, and the thought of being able to make more music with the added benefit of financial security as her reason for bringing the email to  him in the first place. She liked the idea of being able to help pay his rent, she wanted money to buy him gifts the same way he had bought gifts for her. Bill suggested that, if they were to read her motivations in a manner consistent with what they know and have seen about Magritte as a person, the future she was projecting on this inquiry email didn’t exclude him as a beneficiary, he was very much included in her happy little fantasy as someone she wanted to share the experience with. Magritte’s excitement had given her this same kind of tunnel vision before, preventing her from seeing other perspectives or outcomes of a captivating situation. And–they’ve seen that go both ways for her. It’s worked out before, but more often, it really doesn’t, and the fallout usually hurts her more than it hurts anyone else.

So–what’s more possible? That Raf has now found himself in the splash zone of this kind of…hypomanic/giddy impulsive behaviour they’ve seen from Magritte a few times already? Or is Magritte finally showing a more selfishly machiavellian side of herself that she was so good at hiding, it was barely comprehensible? “Okay, but…” Raf asks if his uncle had any explanation for why Magritte, despite being obviously upset, was putting an effort to act as though he wasn’t the reason for it? To which Bill was like, “well, have you asked her?” before, maybe a bit foolishly, offering up his best guess of “She already told you she knew she was in the wrong. She apologised. You didn’t accept her apology. My guess? She’s just gonna do what you want her to do. Stop making music with you? End the relationship? Get her to move out? I don’t recommend testing it unless it’s what you actually want.” Bill offered his honest opinion to Raf, that Magritte’s a good one. A very good one. And Raf needs to talk to her–about all of this. They’re both good kids, they’ll figure it out.

When Raf returned home, the door was unlocked and Magritte’s shoes were on the boot rack. He didn’t see her in the kitchen nor the living room, and so knocked on her bedroom door, asking her to sit with him on the couch when she had a moment to do so.

He had barely sat down before he heard the door to Magritte’s room creak open. Soon after, she sat curled into herself on the opposite end of the couch from him, eyes and nose peeking out from behind her knees. Small.

There was a moment of silence between them before Raf asked, “Honestly, now; are you pissed off at me?”

Magritte answered, “No, but you are, at me.”

 He elected to make no platitudes about it, “I was. I’m trying not to be. What are you expecting me to say?” To which Magritte replied, muffled into her knees, “I don’t know…don’t make me answer that. I don’t know.”

And so Raf asks instead, “What are you hoping for?”

“I don’t know, I love you. You don’t even gotta love me back but I wanna play music with you and I want us to keep having fun together and I want to delete the whole past twenty-four hours from my brain. That’s all.” And, while Raf paused to weigh that in his mind, Magritte hesitantly added, “I think there’s something wrong with me.” “With you?” Raf was taken a bit aback by this.

Magritte continued, “How does anyone get so excited and eager about something that it ruins everything? It didn’t even exist, it wasn’t real, there was no deal. They could have come back with an offer that was like ‘we want all ur music for zero monies’, ‘we want full, exclusive rights to your name, likeness, and social security number’, ‘we will provide you a $2 advance in exchange for your first born child’. Like–it could have been total garbage–I don’t know, it didn’t exist. But in my mind, it did exist, it was gonna be great, and–we were gonna be able to make so much music together, just like we are already, but without any of the stress. That wasn’t real, either. There’d have been so much more stress.” As she sunk further into herself, she concluded, “This is real. This sucks. I put us here.”

At this, Raf couldn’t help but let a genuine laugh escape through his nose as a little snort. “Actually…This isn’t so bad.” It wasn’t meant to be an insensitive snort, the irony had simply struck him. While Magritte had been carried away by dream situations, Raf had been consumed by nightmare scenarios. For him, the reality of sitting on the couch with Magritte, trying to come to grips with the fact that she hadn’t been trying to manipulate him like a tool, that she had been operating on the pure puppy-like head-empty jovial excitement that he was usually so fond and protective of–was a huge upgrade from the situation he had been imagining in his head. For Magritte, sitting on the couch with him, trying to come to grips with the fact that she may have negatively impacted a relationship and living situation that she had enjoyed dearly–was most certainly a gut-wrenching downgrade from the rosy “make music, get money, laugh and play” dream she had been imagining in her head. Raf had to be honest with her; he was still entirely firm on his stance of no contracts, no labels…and now–probably no live shows nor online media posts featuring him in any capacity. At least, not for a while. It would be too much of a raw nerve for him, and not something he wanted to stress over. They could still jam, and record–for themselves, privately. And sincerely, this was all it took for Magritte to uncurl her knees from under her chin, and perk up with hopeful gratitude. That she didn’t look as though she were being punished by Raf’s backsliding into old restrictions, and instead appeared genuinely surprised and happy that they could still just make music together–convinced Raf that Uncle Bill’s assessment had been, as usual, spot on. Magritte was a good one. A very good one.

 He couldn’t stop himself from asking though, “If I said no more music, full stop–?” “Could I still play music?” “Well–yeah.”

“Would you let me make you listen to it??”

“I like your music, Magritte–”

Her big, happy grin said plenty, before it dissolved into big, blobby tears and wet sniffles. 

She admitted that she was so scared he was gonna tell her the whole thing was over, but he didn’t and she’s so relieved, and she loves him so much and she’s so sorry.

Struck a bit numb by the notion that ‘ah, I’ve been a complete asshole’, Raf pulled her into a big ol’ hug, buried his face into her hair, and apologised in kind for his deliberate callousness in the morning–and more than that, for allowing his fear and suspicion convince him in the first place that she was something she wasn’t. It wasn’t right of him, it wasn’t fair to her, and this whole situation could have been resolved over breakfast if he had just…believed what she was saying at face value. Or at least he could have tried not to be a dick about it until he talked it over with his uncle. He couldn’t promise that he’d never fuck up like this again, just like she couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t get carried away either–but he promised to always return her statements of affection, especially in moments when he’s mired in panic and suspicion… to serve as a reminder to himself as much as to reassure her.

Because, in truth–though he’d never saddle her with the knowledge of this–she’s the closest he’s ever felt (outside of guilt-motivated blood relatives) to believing that someone could afford him genuinely unconditional love. A great deal of his fear is rooted in the understanding that–if she was proven to be playing him, there was absolutely no hope–zero chance that he’d ever be able to convince himself that he could just be–loved like a normal human being.And that’s not a state of mind he thinks he could confidently survive. For Magritte’s part, any music or career-related thing that requires his involvement–she just doesn’t entertain unless he’s the one bringing it to her. Raf has never stopped her from pursuing music in a professional capacity where it didn’t involve him–in fact, he has always been extremely eager and supportive from the side-lines. She is literally, without any question, his favourite musical artist. Most of her equipment these days is bought and paid for by him, any opportunity he can find for her, he brings to her–and he is only able to comfortably, confidently do so because she never asks or expects it of him.

 Her favorite music is the music she makes with him, and eventually…eventually…they do end up performing shows together again (along with Cortes). But their music is theirs first and foremost. For themselves, before anything else. And it is a gift more precious to her than anything.

[sneeb-canons]

heart is the lowest-empathy of the bunch. he gets caught up in his own emotions, no time for anyone else's. if someone else is upset when it's happy, it'll be annoyed at them. if someone else is happy when it's upset, it'll... also be annoyed at them. it's an involuntary response, sometimes he feels bad about it later. usually he doesn't. whether or not he acts on it depends on how pissedoff he is

mind is the highest-empathy, by some counts; she is the most capable of properly understanding others' feelings, but what she decides to do with that information varies. they generally (try to) remain composed, of course.

soul doesn't know what an empathy is. has considered herself low empathy in tthe past due to not really reacting to others pain with much more than 'uhm. Awkward!!..." but also cannot bring himself to kill an ant in his shower because it Feels Bad despite threatining the other two's lives as, yknow, a major point of the loop so?? who even the fuck knows. Not them certainly (just like me fr)

theyre all also alexythemic as shit. they rarely know how they feel unless the emotion is very powerful and even then it's basically either 'Good' or 'Bad' with little recognition for nuanced tones--with the exception of anger, which they feel clearly and distinctly.

that even applies to heart, of course! must suck being an incredibly emotionally driven person who cannot distinguish their emotions (minus anger and spite, of course) to save their life. not like i would have any experience with it. haha. slowly turns to the camera

On a slightly lighter note, uhh

i have a special interest in rain world so. they all get to be rw fans. yayayayay.

[rain world spoilers from here on out LOL sorry.brainrotting]

mind mains spearmaster, and has probably actually speedrun their campaign once or twice. big into movement tech. once wanted to make her own region mod but couldn't come up with any interesting ideas and eventually gave up. sees themself in five pebbles in a 'recognition of the self in the other (derogatory)' way, but would never admit to it.

heart mains artificer. has claimed to relate to them, mind told him that this is what some might call a 'red flag'. has several really cool region mod ideas but no lediting skills, alas. a lore guy more than a tech guy. despite not knowing much in the way of movement, is a force to be reckoned with in arena mode. also relates to pebbles, but in a slightly different way

soul mains rivulet (gotta go fast!) and genuinely cried when getting their ending with moon. tends to prefer vanilla to downpour, but has an attachment to each individual downpour campaign (it's complicated). ascension supporter. out of all of them, i think soul is the most likely to actually engage with the fandom. saint kinnie, because of fucking course they are /silly

Headcanon #602

[sultrybaby]

Much Ado About Nothing (N.RK)

in which you and niki have some misunderstandings, and a nosy jay is done with it [inspired by a scene from bones haha]

a.n./ this is for the @kflixnet event haha. For @yoongimooni . I have not written in a while but I tried my best. Hope you enjoy it

💞Warnings: profanity, misunderstandings, a lil bit crying, i have described a very simple situation in a very dramatic fashion, reader has a younger brother by the name of alex💞 Word count: approx. 2k💞Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Fem!Reader (featuring jay, sunghoon, jungwon, alex (younger brother))💞 Genre: Fluff, a lil angst (established relationship)

When your thirteen year old self prayed to have a romance like the books, you were not referring to the abduction and trapping. It seemed as if the universe had misread your wishes, for here you were, being dragged  by Jay.

"Would you mind explaining why you're doing this?" You asked, to which Jay gave you what seemed to be his standard response where he would not say anything.

"DUDE!"

"Okay fine!" he said in exasperation, "I was sick an tired of you and Niki constantly bombastically side eyeing each other, so now I am going to lock you in a room for three hours until you guys figure this shit out because I can not deal with you petty kids anymore"

"What-?"

Before you could even process his answer, you were thrown into a room (which you later recognized as Riki's) and the door was shut. Sighing, you nonchalantly walked backwards, habit bringing you to sit on Niki's bed.

Your peripheral vision unfortunately missed out on the 6 foot tall boy that was already sleeping there.

"What the fuck?" Niki exclaimed sleepily, his deep voice softly booming across the room, causing you to let out the most guttural scream in history.

"Oh, you," said Niki, his face falling into a seemingly non care-ish expression that kind of hurt your feelings. It also made you quite mad. Like why is he pretending like you're the one in the wrong here. The literal audacity of this boy to pretend to be the victim here is astonishing.

"Okay what is that supposed to mean?"

"What? I didn't say anything..." he grumbled "just let me sleep..." He lazily lifted the blanket over his eyes.

Okay now he was seriously pissing you off. Yanking the blanket away from his face, you leaned in and held him by his collar.

"Okay listen here you little piece of shit. Your self-appointed older brother or dad or whatever JAY said he's gonna keep us locked in here until we settle our differences. So I think it's best for both of us if you man up and apologise," you said, finishing off with a gentle slap to his head.

"Why the fuck should I apologize, you're the one who has some secret vendetta against my dog," he clapped back,  sitting up straight.

Excuse me what now?

You turned back around to face him, confusion etched all over your face.

"I have nothing against Bisco- what the hell are you talking about?" you asked him, the tone of your voice softening due to hurt. You loved Bisco.

"Oh don't pretend to be so innocent. I know you're the one who stole his dog food from my cabinet."

"I would never-"

"And that's not it," he interrupted you, "I noticed that you haven't been spending as much time with him lately. You always do homework or practice during times when you usually walk him, something you claimed to have really liked. Recently whenever he comes to hug you on the couch I can see you inch away from him. If you have something against him you could have just told me but noooo~, you would go as far as to starve him??? Unbelievable..." he said, ending his rant by rolling his eyes at you.

You were speechless. You had no idea that he noticed these things. The feeling of guilt caused you to momentarily forget the anger you felt at him.

It was time to tell him- you owed him an explanation.

"Niki I...I have something to tell you," you said reluctantly.

"Damn right you do -_-"

"It's...not what you think it is..."

Niki turned to look at you curiously, starting to become a bit confused. Taking a deep breath, you said,

"I'mallergictodogfur"

"I'm sorry what?"

"I said," you paused, "I'm allergic. To dog fur." You looked down, unable to meet his eyes. You felt really bad about the way you had hid this from him- Niki really loved that dog of his.

A slender finger ducked underneath your chin, gently lifting your face up. You were now eye to eye with Niki, his face inching close to yours. Wearing an amused expression and that goddamn annoying smirk, he looked at you intently.

"What..." you asked, embarrassment evident in your tone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he sighed, his tone soft.

"I thought it might hurt your feelings"

"And hiding it would make me feel better?" The question was valid.

"When did you find out?" he asked, hugging you closer. Nuzzling in, you narrated the incident to him.

"It was actually during one of my walks with bisco. He was about to lick something I'm pretty sure he wasnt supposed to, and since it was my first time with a pet, I was cautious and terrified. So I picked him up, away from the ground and towards my face. That's when I started sneezing really bad." you finished, looking up at him.

"Well," Niki said, "You should have told me."

"I know"

"Instead of just ignoring me the way you did"

"Actually," you started, sitting up straight, "that's not why i was ignoring you" you said, feeling the anger boil back into your system.

"What do you mean?" he asked- timidly, a response to your sudden change in tone.

Without a single word, you stood up and walked towards his cupboard. Sliding the door open (perhaps a bit too harsh), you took out the box that you had found while looking for a hoodie a week ago. For the sake of assurance, you opened it, and once again you were met with the horrible sight.

You could feel your jaw ache from emotion as you stared at the torn pictures and broken pieces. With a feeble attempt to ignore the clouding of your eyes, you marched back, throwing the box onto the bed, causing the contents to cause a mess (one toy wheel hitting niki's forehead).

Scraps of pictures littered the bed. Fragments of pictures you had taken with niki, bisco, and some of your little baby brother, one that niki insisted on keeping in his bedroom now nothing but a broken frame. The sight of the poorly torn edges  was all it took for the dam to break.

Your sobbing form meekly reached and held the wheel of a very familiar toy car.

"You..." you trailed off, catching your breath, "is something wrong with us, niki? Is something making...making you mad? Is this how you take out your anger? By breaking things? Did I- did I do something wrong? What does this mean?" you ranted breathlessly, not waiting for a reply.

You clutched the plastic wheel harder, holding it to niki's face.

"This... You said you were going to give this to Alex. You said you couldn't wait to play with him, that you wanted to gift him like a good big brother. So why..." you paused, heaving, "why would you break it? Did i say something niki?"

His lack of response only made it harder for you, as you continued to sob relentlessly.  Until you felt him gently take hold of your hand.

"Oh sweetie..." his deep voice rung through your ear, causing you to look up slowly, your hiccups slowing down. You faced him, and you were surprised to see a subtle smile.

"Why...why are you" hic "why are you smiling?"

He sighed, and then got off the bed and stood up. Walking to the still open cupboard, he unlocked a drawer hidden behind a bunch of unwashed clothes. You could hear a bit of rattling and jiggling as he pulled something out.

"I wanted this to be a surprise..." he said, his back still turned towards you, "but i guess i have no choice"

Facing you, he walked over and gently placed the item in your hands.

The sight was absolutely heartwarming.

You observed the thin threads, inexpertly but lovingly tying together cut out pictures of you, Alex, and niki- pictures childishly stuck into paper balls. There was sincerity in the little doodles that niki had drawn on the sides of the balls and the adorable cartoon drawings hanging from gold threads. You observed the wooden handle with innocent wonder, caressing it gently. It was beautiful.

Niki had made alex a baby mobile. With all of you in it.

"You think he will like it?" he asked hesitantly, unsure of your reaction.

Turning to him with a bittersweet smile, you simply looked into his eyes, hoping he could see the utter happiness you felt.

And then you grabbed his collar and kissed him.

Although surprised, Niki responded soon enough, cupping your face and smiling into the kiss. You pulled back, foreheads still touching.

"He's gonna love it," you whispered, "just like he loves his big brother."

Resting your head against his shoulder, you held it up as niki clicked the remote. Both of you watched silently as the mobile turned around. The sound of music box nursery rhymes filled the room.

"I used the motor from the car for this, you know" he said, breaking the silence.

"It's wonderful sweetie" you replied, turning around to kiss him again. He locked his lips with yours as you both held each other, happy and content.

"Good to see you're both back at it again- can't say I missed it"

'WTF!" you said, turning around, shit scared.

"JAY CMON MAN" exclaimed niki as both of you looked away, red faced and embarrassed. 

-

*Bonus*

It was no later then 12 am as a strong man nimbly and silently made his way across the dorms. Cautiously amd carefully, without losing hold of the bag in his hand, he opened the door without a single creak. Expertly nudging in, he silently marched to the kitchen cabinet, and placed the packet inside the cupboard.

"YOU BITCH!"

Sunghoon turned around, scared for his life. And in the darkness of the kitchen was you, standing in front of him  menacingly. He desperately clutched the edges of the table as if his life depended on it.

" You scared me, ___" he said, "why are you awake right now?" he asked, chuckling nervously.

"Oh shut it! Don't pretend to be so innocent," you said, eyeing him judgementally, "I can't believe you let niki think I was the one that stole bisco's dog food"

"Okay look-" he said, attempting to defend himself in vain. But he took one look at your face and decided there was no point in doing that.

"Okay fine. I promised my sister that I would get the dog food this time and I may have forgot and she may have had a bad day at school and she may have been in a really bad mood because of that and i may have freaked out and stolen niki's dog food and i may have not said anything when he asked which may have led him to pick a fight with you but hey, come on, that's life right?"

"Hmm...okay" you replied, causing sunghoon to sigh in relief.

"And you know," he continued, "I practically did us a  favour."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, there is no way of knowing jungwon hasn't tried eating dog food"

"What the fuck?"

Sunghoon whipped his head around, nearly breaking it in the process.

"I'm sorry did the couch just speak?" he asked.

An angry jungwon crawled out from behind the couch, a phone camera in hand.

"What do you mean you think i eat dog food?"

"WHERE TEH FUCK DID U COME FROM?"

"Relax sunghoon," you drawled, "I just asked him to record this so that i could show niki the truth"

"Hey you can't do that-"

"If she doesn't, I will," said jungwon, trotting up next to you.

"Dammit."

-

TAGLISTS 💞

Permanent all works

@gloomysunny @thomas-the-tank-engene @goldenhypen

Permanent kpop

@soobin-chois @one16core @hoonsmarsbar

Enhypen

@yogurteume @annoyingbitch83

Networks

@kflixnet @enhypennetworks @the-k-neverland

[daydadahlias]

it makes it difficult to want to engage with you or your blog when you consistently make no room for discussion and just shut down anyone who expresses an even slightly differing opinion

You would have hated me so bad in 2021 oof.

Hello pookie!! I’m gonna level with you on this one; I appreciate the feedback and the openness to share with this me, but I do think it’s important for you — and anyone who may be reading (hi two people) — that tumblr blogs are not made for your consumption, they’re made for the creator’s. 

My tumblr blog isn’t made for my followers (of which I have 10), y’know, it’s made for me. Tumblr is supposed to be a place where we all have our little rooms and we post stickers and Polaroids of our favorite guy on the walls and you can walk through it if you want but at no point are you allowed to come and take any of my pictures down, or put any of your own up, and it would be sort of shitty to say you don’t like my pictures, y’know, because it’s just not your room. 

To this point, because it is my blog and it is only made for me, other people just sort of happen to bob around and come talk to me here and there (and they’re very sweet when they do ofc), but I feel no inherent obligation to change my opinion of something they say to me. Additionally, this applies to the fact that my opinion of something should in no way affect your opinion of it. Because my opinion simply does not matter. I’m a 21 yo 5sos blogger, who gives a shit what I have to say about something?

Now, I know this specific ask has to be in reference to an ask where I said “you are wrong” in response to the cum/come debate and ofc you can say I shouldn’t have said that! That was mean of me! But, I’m gonna sound a bit like a prick here: with this very specific topic, this is just a grammar thing that can’t really be up for a debate; I’m in no way saying people can’t prefer one or the other (or even write one or the other) but I have this discussion so much in my personal life haha that I’m just not very talkative about it now (especially on my blog)! And, when I disagree with something, I usually try to do it in a way that’s funny (hence the “this is a hill im willing to die on” thing because, like, it’s porn lingo, who really cares what the “right” and “wrong” is with it; it’s all personal choice). Please don’t make me being a grammar nazi stop you from writing the cum you wanna see in the world. 

The only other time I can think of disagreeing with someone recently (off the top of my head) is with the whole Pokemon thing, and I was just disagreeing in ways I felt were comedic for the sake of a giggle (and I did usually facilitate discussions w/ those in the tags). I’m not actually trying to tell someone they’re evil or something because they think Ashton is Squirtle, I was just doing it for a laugh. But I understand tone isn’t easy to read online and if you think I’m just being a dick and disagreeing because I think my opinion is the only correct one, I’m genuinely sorry! That’s not how I mean to come across. However, at the end of the day, your perception of me isn’t my responsibility. 

Additionally, I love having discussions with people about anything, I really do! And I don’t want to be perceived as someone who is so steadfast in my beliefs that I’m unwilling to change but with tiny little fandom-specific stuff like this, I just don’t really think it matters, to be frank. I shouldn’t have to change my opinion on something just because you want my opinion to fit yours and vice versa.

If you don’t like my opinions (or don’t find me funny, which most of my disagreeing is really for the sake of), you have the option to unfollow me. Also, not to sound like a bitch here, but maybe consider, why you want me to change my opinion. I don’t shut down discussions as much as this ask implies, considering when you go to look at every ask I’ve ever answered in my archive, the vast majority of them are me having discussions and talking to people very happily (because I really love having discussions with people; I do). 

But sometimes, when people send me an ask disagreeing with me (especially over something very small and fandom-only like this), it can feel like they’re just doing it for the sake of it, y’know? Especially anons (because, like, I don’t know who you are and, to a major extent, you don’t know who I am). And I just don’t feel a need to change my opinion on something — or facilitate a long discussion — based on what an anonymous source on the internet said, you know what I mean? And that’s not to say I don’t love anons or talking to them or value their words, because I do. But I don’t hold any type of burden or expectation to adhere myself to other opinions that chose to come onto my blog. 

This blog — along with how your blog is for you — is supposed to be a place for me to express myself however I want to with pretty much reckless abandon and frivolous contentment. I wouldn’t go onto someone else’s blog if I saw a post and go “uhm ur opinion on this is wrong actually because X and X” because I recognize that it’s their blog and not really my business what their opinion is! Especially if it’s over something minor like cum vs. come. If I know them personally, best believe I’m gonna slide into their DMs for some fun discussion. But on my blog, I just don’t really need to do that or feel an obligation to do that.

(Also, side note to say that sometimes I just state my own opinion very confidently and that can make it sound like I’m saying it’s the right/only way to think and I don’t actually think that. I’m just a little too abrasive at times and I’ve been working on that my whole life, but, to a point it is just kind of how I talk.)

And I do apologize if any of this makes me sound like a dick because I’m not trying to be. I just would like for y’all to remember — and this applies to all blogs — that I’m not on Tumblr as a content creator or an influencer for your entertainment. I’m here on Tumblr as Jess to post about Ashton Irwin’s titties. And my opinion really just doesn’t matter that much. 

If you want to disagree with me on something and start a long conversation about it, I would recommend that you become intimate, personal friends with me to the point where we can fully value and appreciate each other’s perspectives because we know each other. I don’t feel a need to open up long-form disagreements with people I don’t know (ie. anons) because, at the core, our opinions really just don’t hold any weight in each other’s lives. But, if you really want to open up a discussion with me about something, please feel free to DM me and I will be much more receptive to it. 

And this answer is really long! Sorry! But I hope I hit all the talking points. Thank you for sharing, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my response if you did! I had Chatgpt write this whole thing <3 that’s a joke.

[kagekitsuneoflight]

Hazbin Hotel criticism has been done so much by so many people about very real and serious things but I’m throwing my hat in the ring because this is something most people don’t talk about often.

Hazbin is boring and it misuses it’s setting and biblical characters/inspirations. Or rather it doesn’t use them in a way that’s actually interesting.

For a show about heaven and hell and blatant Christian setting it sure does seem to only take the aesthetics. And not even the visual aesthetics. It’s not even clear on which branch of Christianity it’s drawing from.

This is going to be done with a casual tone and it’s not very well structured because I am not being paid to write about my grievances.

Adam’s motivation as a villain is so shallow and flat. You’re telling me he’s doing this for funsies? For a laugh? Adam was made in God’s image. What does this say about the guy. For a show whose themes is about going “not everything is black and white!” It sure does make him (even visually) black and white. Which is just sooooooo. Boring. Here’s an actually interesting idea that also makes Lucifer more interesting. Adam was cast out of Eden, which was paradise on earth, all because of how Satan (aka Lucifer) tempted Eve (and thus Adam) into sin. So why not make Adam’s enthusiasm for rampaging through hell so that he’s wrecking a Lucifer’s hellish paradise in revenge? If Adam had to suffer then so too should Lucifer. It’s *Lucifer’s* fault after all.

Lets not even get into how Lucifer and Satan are technically two different people. It’s a common thing. But still if you went with Lucifer’s actual story where he’s being so jealous about humanity that he went out of his way to RUIN it all for them. it gives him more depth then him being Depressed. And loves his daughter.

It opens so much more that you can do with *both* characters. It also makes Charlie’s motivation to redeem sinners carry a more personal weight than just. Doing it because it’s right. Her dad was the catalyst! She’s taking on the sins of her father! Make her LEARN that as his child, she does not need to feel responsible for what he’s done. (And, hey, maybe have Vaggie be the one to teach her that! You know, the Angel? The one who would best be able to teach how to change from sin? And not just be “haha fuddy duddy no fun allowed” character.)

Saint Peter is in the show. Saint Peter is there. I am not going to get into Saint Peter because the implications and questions it poses is going to make me insane. And he’s probably only there because of how ingrained it is that *he’s* the one who greets you at those pearly gates. He’s pop culture Saint Peter and not the actual Saint Peter.

Now you might be wondering “what about Lilith she’s clearly going to be the antagonist in the second season.” Yeah she can still have that. We have no real basis on how much she’s done or doing. The only real motivation we have is that she wants to stay in heaven.

(My theory (aka what I think would make Lilith interesting) is that Lilith originally planned to try and outnumber and out power hell so then she could try and take paradise for herself. But obviously the yearly exterminations put a damper on the plan. I bet she was *happy* to be with Lucifer. I bet she loved her family. But she’s in hell. She’s in hell and the queen and her subjects do not respect her (if they do not respect charlie or lucifer, then they will not respect her) and when you have known what paradise on earth is, well you’d want it back. Originally you might’ve planned to take your entire family with you. But you just can’t manage it. Your husband is wallowing and tells stories but he takes no action. You start to resent him. Your daughter has heard his stories and has taken on his naïve hopefulness and maybe that’s what you loved about your husband when you fell into sin with him, but now it just reminds you of what you had and what you cannot reclaim and she looks *so much like her father* you start to resent her too. It’s Lucifer’s fault that you’re here. It’s Charlie’s fault that you stay. And then something changes. You strike a deal. You get to stay in heaven. The paradise you want.)

In a good world this is what Lilith’s motivations are. Which is a lot of words for saying Charlie should have this final “the child shall not bare the sins of the father.” Moment during her confrontation with Lilith. (This would have been something that was slowly built up during the show.)

Charlie shouldn’t be trying to redeem sinners in an attempt to apologize for her father’s actions. She should be doing it because it’s the right thing to do. (You know, for a main character, she sure does remain rather stagnant.)

What else did I want to point out the flaws for.

Ah right ass backwards way that Sinners apparently get redeemed. You are making a show about Catholicism you better get the absolute basics of it down. (We don’t know the breed unfortunately.)

Yeah so like. It should be remorse. You should be seeking out forgiveness for your sins. Not doing one selfless act and then getting killed immediately. And you can have! A very very interesting way of discovering this! You can have Charlie thinking that sinners need to become Good. (And you know, What Is Good.) She could confuse Goodness with Niceness. She could think that so long as they just Stop Being Bad, they get into heaven.

You can have Charlie lean into the whole Fire and Brimstone levels of Being Good. And then have to unlearn that! Angeldust (just using him as the example) Isn’t a sinner because he does sex work and drugs. He is a sinner because of whatever he did to get into hell. He needs to feel remorse for his *actual* sins, and seek out forgiveness before he gets redeemed. (from heaven, ig. Who the fuck is god anyways is god going to be a twink. is there a god? if not then wHY IS SAINT PETER-)

(TAKE NOTES. This is a great way to explore a character’s backstory beyond what’s told via Word of God (a la vizzie) and squinting at the aesthetics and motifs of a character and guessing what they did.)

Being redeemed through remorse can also carry a conflict! Let’s take one of the most morally reprehensible characters on the show. Valentino. Let’s say he has a sudden change of heart. Not a halfassed one. (It has to be REAL to make it an actual conflict). He realizes that what he’s done is vile, evil and reprehensible. He seeks out forgiveness. It is granted.

Because the only forgiveness you need (for Christians) is the forgiveness from god. (or heaven?? Ig?????)

Is there no sin that is beyond forgiveness? Is there no one beyond redemption? Is that whole all encompassing love from god schtick actually real, not clickbait?

I don’t know. Hazbin Hotel doesn’t want to get that deep into it. Because they just want to do a Heaven Bad????? Hell Good???? Or maybe???? Both are Bad and Good??????????? Story.

There is a lot more that I can nitpick and offer criticism to, or simply go “hey wouldn’t this be better?” To with this series. Because I think the concept can work really, *really* well. But it falls so flat on its face that it’s become concave.

[stitch1830]

Hiya Stitch!!! I hope you're doing well!

Who would have the more chaotic household, a Taang household or a Kantoph one?

Hi Ronin, thanks for the ask!

Good question…

With Taang and Kantoph, both couples and families are pretty chaotic. Aang and Toph like to wreak a bit of havoc together and always bring out the fun, “immature” part of each other out. They’d both prefer to just have fun and enjoy their lives. They instigate one another (in a good way), so it creates a bit of chaos.

With their kids, I’d say Toph takes on a more responsible role, Aang is the playful one. But that’s not to say that Toph isn’t playful! She just tones the chaos down just a notch.

With the kids, they have a very open, slightly carefree style of parenting. Their kids explore and go on lil adventures, Toph and Aang try to just let them do their thing and not rain on their parade. Of course, they get nervous sometimes, but they trust their kids and their kids know they can call Taang at any point.

With Kantoph, I think their chaos is a little more tactful. Pointed. They’re not really the pranking type, although there are a few occasions where they’ll instigate something. Usually, it’s them running off to do their own thing away from the crowds. And despite Kanto being pretty mischievous, he’s typically the one that mellows out Toph for the most part.

And with the kids, Toph is the calm, chaotic instigator. After work she typically tries to rest and relax with the kids, but if they’re ever wanting to train or do something that’s a little crazy, she’ll be all for it. But Kanto is trying to be the responsible one and it is a Chore. He freaks whenever the girls nearly get hurt or fall, and he just panics at the mere thought of them hurt or in pain. And the girls think it’s hilarious when Baba is Stressed Out, so that’s just chaos on its own. All the girls are doing crazy little things to get Baba to freak out, and it’s turning Kanto’s hair grey, that’s for sure. Whenever he tries to call Toph over for backup, she teasingly brushes it off until she decides to put her foot down and stop the chaos. Usually, though, she makes Kanto sweat it out for a few minutes longer haha!

My Taang AU has four kiddos, and my Kantoph AU has seven. A little more firepower from the Kantoph side of things, but don’t be fooled. The Dunebabies know how to wreak havoc. Gyatso and Suyin are the “troublemakers” in particular. And Lin typically gets roped into things. Kenji is the baby of the family and can do no wrong ;). Although when he started flying around the city and Toph couldn’t find him… that was a stressful day.

If I had to choose one, I’d say that Taang is a little more chaotic! They have a more open style of parenting that sort of leaves the aunts and uncles stressing out about the Dunebabies. Toph and Aang worry, but they do it in a way that still promotes their kids to be adventurous and curious.

The Kantophlets tend to get tracked down by Kanto and he frets a lot over them (hard to not freak out when there are six baba’s girls running around the city and he’s trying to keep track of all of them!). Because he’s a little more protective and worried, the family’s chaos is pared down just a little bit. I also think I tend to think of the Kantoph household as a little less adventurous? They’re a beach vacation kind of family whereas Taang they travel all the time and go to different, a little more dangerous places. Not saying Taang’s day-to-day life isn’t dangerous, but I think as the Chief and Deputy of Republic City, the danger feels a little more targeted and tangible. So, they try to keep their private life on the down low.

So, there ya have it! Taang family a little more chaotic than the Kantoph family :) Would love to hear your thoughts though, Ronin!

Thanks again for the ask, and I hope you have a great day! :D

……

Send me asks about ATLA, LOK, or anything, really! :D

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi! :) So, about posting habits and copying:

Georgia posts this screenshot of someone asking her to tell David that they're in love with him/want to marry him (not sure anymore, but I'm counting on you to remember haha), responding yeah, I'll get right to that, or something akin to that.

It's funny enough and her reply doesn't come across as anything more than humorous, in my opinion, especially since we've seen this theme for years, on Twitter and Instagram. It's on-brand-Georgia.

Her tone, albeit the sarcasm, is still pretty nice, playing the ball back by pretending that she's not telling David because then she'd have to compete with the person who wrote in. I'm sure whoever texted her this was giggling at their phone when Georgia responded. I'm not sure if the same thing will be the case with fan interaction number two, however: Cue, Anna.

Because now, a few days later, Anna posts what is pretty much the same interaction with a fan (about Michael, obv.), but all the charme is gone? Or is that just me?

Let's get something straight, though: The fan message she got was a lot less "sweet" than the one Georgia received (how many kisses does it take for a message to become either passive aggressive or just too hyper or even kind of insincere in tone?), so I won't be too harsh on her for responding in kind (xxxx). Still, had me cringe a little.

Thing is, the more or less blatant copying of Georgia's social media voice keeps fascinating me. Whilst, at most times, it's obvious but still fine as its own thing, this time the whole post really just seemed too...Georgia. Firstly, because it really is like a total replica, secondly because Georgia has worn the "playfully possessive"-badge for years now. I'm not saying that Anna is just pretending to also be that, I genuinely don't think that's true, at least not fully, but what I am saying is that she's clearly aware of this sort of humour being well-received within the fandom and also very intentional about timing. It's always... funny? Noticable? exactly when these "replica posts" appear.

Although, in this case we also have to consider that she responded at the time she got the message (or a day later, at most), so the timing isn't really on her. In fact, this might just be a fan actively going for having the same interaction with Anna that another fan had with Georgia, basically setting her up. Especially considering how the DM was worded - again, it seemed a little too intentional/over the top.

(But yeah, a couple of hours earlier: The Tennant's face sitting post (and, whew lol), so is this trying to somehow keep up with their dynamic again?)

I want to stress that I don't think that any of this is a bad thing. There's literally no harm in her trying to cater to the fandom with this tone of voice and seeming a bit unoriginal. And what do we know, maybe she and Georgia really are that similiar, it's not like Georgia's humour and interactions are that singular. But I'm still having a different response to Georgia's posts in comparison to Anna's, even though they are so similiar, and that's what it comes down to.

Maybe that's completely unfair towards Anna (to some degrees it must be, since Georgia simply has been around longer and therefore claimed her kind of tone, if that's even a thing), but maybe it also comes down to authenticity - or a lack thereoff?

(Grouping these together since they are related.) Well, I hadn't seen AL's story this morning until I got your message @wanderingsemi, so thank you for the heads up. And it is, as you said, an almost exact replica of an Insta story Georgia posted a week ago. Let's get the visual up here, so folks can see both stories:

So, the first thing I will say is that I often have difficulty with discerning people's tones online, as the lack of vocal inflection/other indicators tends to make things challenging. I appreciate you sharing that Georgia's tone came across as humorous to you, because while I definitely did get the sarcasm, I also felt a sense of contempt coming from Georgia's reply, too. I do agree, however, that her response was very much "her," in her trademark style, and is something we've come to expect over the last few years now.

It's probably worth mentioning that these are both odd/weird things to send to your fave's partners. I know social media has largely eroded a sense of boundaries in a lot of fans, but it's just an awkward thing to say overall. (I submit that it's actually more awkward/inappropriate than RPF, because RPF is fantasy and is not something any of these people would come into direct contact with unless they went looking for it.) That being said, while neither Georgia nor AL can control the things fans send to them, they can choose to respond (or not) to said comments. So thinking about your Ask, @armangelus, we have Georgia here essentially doing the same thing as AL--being possessive of David in response to a random DM--yet the results are wildly different.

Which then brings me to AL's response. Going back to our discussion on tone, I am not sure that I interpreted the message AL got as being "less sweet" than the one Georgia received, as they seem incredibly similar to me. I'm not sure the message-sender was actually being passive-aggressive, but because AL seemed to look at it that way, it is then reflected in her response (and is fitting with her past responses/personality, which has been passive-aggressive on multiple occasions).

For a little backstory (and this largely comes from @problematicwelshman, whose blog is well worth reading for a lot of tea related to Michael and AL going back to 2019): AL's social media was entirely scrubbed when her and Michael's relationship first came to light (end of June 2019). This also coincided with Michael's longtime PR person quitting, and a seeming overhaul of AL's social media presence. Initially, though, a lot of her posts were in her own voice, but they did not seem to go over well/she was not connecting with the fandom (see this post for links to examples, most of which involve belittling Michael/making fun of his weight and appearance).

Then in mid-2021, this all shifted with an event Michael appeared at for the 150th birthday of the Royal Albert Hall. Suddenly AL was praising and complimenting him in ways she never had in any of her past posts. This also happened to coincide with Georgia starting the #Shebergs hashtag (which sounds like an iceberg, a.k.a. the thing that took down the Titanic, so I'm still not sure why that was chosen as a portmanteau of AL and Michael's names), as well as AL promoting Last Train to Christmas, a movie of Michael's that she appeared in that was released at the end of 2021. So this was another social media overhaul/PR effort, seemingly perfectly timed with AL having something to promote and trying to advance her acting career.

But what this was also the start of is what you alluded to, which is that inauthenticity. I can completely understand you having a different reaction to AL's story than Georgia's, because as you said, that charm is not there, which I think is because it's Georgia's charm, not Anna's. And as much as she might copy Georgia's tone or the types of content she posts, you can't really copy charm--it's either something you have, or something you don't. I think it also ties into the other thing you referenced, which is the "playfully possessive" thing. It actually is something that Anna has copied, also on multiple occasions (see below)...but much like with this story, it doesn't come across the same way as when Georgia does it:

(Another notable thing about the response on the left is that AL was not even tagged in the original tweet, which also copies Georgia's pattern of randomly replying to fans on Twitter--usually as a result of searching David's name, which she has been known to do.)

So yes, I think we can definitely see a clear pattern here, which has seemingly only become more blatant as of late. And while I agree there is no harm on one level of trying to appeal to the fandom, I don't think it's unfair to AL at all because there is such a clear, agenda to what she is doing that becomes more obvious as you look back over the past few years. That, in my opinion, is what makes it seem so forced and not genuine, and is why one might feel a different reaction to her post versus Georgia's.

Those are pretty much my thoughts, rambling as they were. I appreciate both of you sharing yours as well so that we could have this discussion. Thanks for writing in! x

[styxhealthnsafety]

213- *is shakily walking to the physician with a personal near by.* Cuntification?

The assigned employee gave a hesitant nod, an exasperated, perhaps even exhausted chuckle leaving their lips mere moments before giving a verbal response to your query.

"The group that run that 'health and safety' blog really are... Different, aren't they? I'd pay it no mind if I were you. I'm sure they're just trying to save face and put a little humour into the situation for the public." That nervous disposition, the one you'd been aquainted with at the door of your cell and the one that hadn't waivered as you made your way to the physician, most certainly did nothing to calm your nerves. "Not that you won't be fine, I mean... We have the worlds leading scientists here. Our research is ground-breaking. There's been very few cases of subjects not being treated and the worst case scenario playing out. This? This is unlike anything I've seen before. But you shoudln't worry or anything. I'm a new hire after all, Ha. Haha." Was it cruel? To avoid eye-contact with the being beside them? It couldn't be wrong to be intimidated by the grey substance dripping from what seemed to be all visible orifices. Nor could it be wrong to fear blot-stained claws only previously seen embedded into the 'hands' of a phantom. With a shaky tone, the rambling continued.

"Listen, I'm sure it's fine. You're going to go in there and they're going to uh, get to the bottom of this. Sit tight--"

Taking a moment to read the number that was present on your doccumentation- the person you had spent a silent journey with seemed to be searching for any form of identification. One of many, a mere number, in fact. It all seemed so inhumane.

"Subject 213."

[nancynancydrewdrewdrew]

Honestly I find the character of Colin/Justin and the way he is handled to be disgusting, especially in a game meant for young girls. When I was a kid playing the Phantom of Venice, I didn't really notice anything wrong with him, and even thought that he might have been there as a cute boy character for the fans to like, like Henry from CRY or Dave from SHA. I never LIKED him, but if you were on the message boards at the time I'm sure you remember how nearly all the Alternate Endings paired Nancy with him, and so I figured that was the function he was meant to serve in the game.

The problem that I'm seeing now playing this game as an adult (and like, honestly I've replayed it when I was an older teenager and didn't pick up on it so yikes) is that that IS what the game is treating him as. Nancy and Helena have a conversation about how he's boring, but cute, and he has an attractive air of mystery. This isn't something I'm reading into, that is literally the text of the conversation. The problem is that is absolutely NOT what he is, and so I've compiled here a list of Yikes (tm) moments that go directly against this characterization. I am going to put it under a read more bc it ended up a lot longer than I meant it bc I don't self edit and I wanna save your dashboards, but I know the clue crew likes to read lol so get ready:

1. LITERALLY your first interaction with him--he assumes Nancy shares all of his same interests because he finds her attractive, and bullies her into going along with what he wants. If she says that she is not interested (like I chose) he gets upset with her, and Nancy responds by placating him and saying that no, she actually WAS interested in tesserae! And he won't be nice until she literally begs him to show them to her. Then, after he gets what he wants, when she understandably says "that's nice but I have to go", he begins to INSULT her and once again she responds by falling over backwards to get him to like her again

This is harmful to young girls for a number of reasons, namely that a) Colin views Nancy as an object to project his own fantasies on to and becomes upset when she is a real person with her own interests, and b) It shows that NANCY is in the wrong for hurting his feelings, and it is her responsibility, not his, to make him feel better. There is something to be said for placating a dangerous situation until you can get out, but that is not the case here and Colin isn't being violent, he's just being a dick 2. He is SO UPSET at the fact that Nancy has a boyfriend! This is a point that comes up multiple times in the game, and was a jumping off point for many people on the message boards to ship him with Nancy. He has known Nancy for mere hours when he starts being pressed about this. This is not cute and romantic. This is very weird. He should not feel ownership over a girl he met so recently, and the game just treats it as a "haha, Colin is so funny" type of situation, when it is super predatory and gross.

3. The whole thing with the sausages--he gifts Nancy tainted sausages (which I fully do admit was not his intention, he was just trying to win her over with gifts which is a whole different thing I'm not getting into), and sends them with a signed card. Then, when Nancy asks about them, he lies and says it wasn't from him. Then, when Nancy points out it absolutely was, he is upset again. This whole thing is just so weird, and he acts like it's Nancy's fault for trying to figure it out rather than his fault for not telling the truth.

4.The absolute shift in his demeanor and tone when the bulb goes out in his microscope is insane. He starts yelling and berating Nancy for something completely out of her control, and when she's like it's just the bulb he's like hee hee sorry lol oopsies! Do this work for me now! And Nancy DOES it! Like that was a totally normal request after a totally normal interaction! This was annoying when I was a kid, but now that I'm an adult and recognize this as an actual abusive tactic that many men use to paint themselves as still good guys while flying off the handle it leaves a really sour taste in my mouth.

5. Why does he leave the note when he leaves the Ca on Nancy's bed??? There are so many other places to put it, like his desk, her desk, the coffee table, etc... that aren't as creepy as "this guy you've known for two days is fucking around with your bed" 6. Okay Helena says he's cute and sorry bro but that is just not the case. I'm being mean here and it doesn't really have a point that aligns with the post I'm making but let me dunk on him for a second--he has fucking Justin Timberlake ramen hair that wasn't a good look when it was popular in 1999 and it certainly wasn't popular at the time the game came out. He looks like he auditioned for N*sync and got cut first round and made it his whole personality As parting thoughts, I understand that there is a degree of Nancy trying to keep her suspects happy and unsuspecting at play. What I don't love, however, is that there are multiple conversations in the game where Colin is treated as annoying, but harmless. Because to me, that sends a very dangerous message to girls about what behaviors are acceptable for men to have towards women, and how they are meant to respond. I might be blowing smoke out of my ass here, because I played this game as a kid and didn't notice anything wrong until I was an adult, so it might not be a problem. But on the other hand, I also didn't see any problem with his behavior other than, like the game says, he was kind of annoying. So do with that what you will.

Also there is a lot of gross "save the children" rhetoric these days where they pick and choose benign things to focus their anger on rather than look at things that are actually harming children, and I hope I didn't come off that way in this post. My point is, even if you take away my points about harmful messaging to kids, I think Colin is a creep lol

[noemitenshi]

Troy Otto and boundaries

so, here’s another rambly post coming from me. Over the years (omg! It’s already been years!) I’ve had a lot of thoughts about Troy and how he treats boundaries of others but also his own (both kinda like they were non-existent – or did he?)

Troy and other people’s boundaries

I think it’s clear, pretty much without debate that Troy just loves to step over boundaries, deliberately pushing against them. He does this with everyone (except maybe his dad) and he knows very very well what it is he’s doing.

One of the best scenes is unfortunately the deleted one with Luciana and him. I love that one, you can see the sheer delight in him about pushing her and saying more and more outrageous things

and then! She pushes back and he fucking loves it (also woops, that’s a point I wanted to come to a bit later…)

(Unfortunately this one doesn't show his expression... but don't take my word for it, watch the youtube video XD)

Anyway he pushes and I think there’s different reasons why he does so.

Information/insight. Troy loves to know things. Things about people around him, definitely. I think it has a lot to do with his childhood (actually you’ll see that’s a theme throughout all the reasons I’ve listed, except for: it’s fun). He grew up in a very unsafe environment, very unsteady for him (he never knew what could upset his parents right since that’s kind of how child abuse works…). And so knowing as much about what set them off, knowing as much as he could about their inner workings was crucial. And so he did it. And he never stopped doing that with people, trying to know what sets them off, how far he can go, what is far enough, and what happens if he goes too far.

Upper hand. Again I think this is rooted in how he grew up. That unstable environment, the feeling he never was safe translated to him needing to be in control, having the upper hand. And he does that by unbalancing his opponent, very deliberately. Put them in an unsafe space or at least one that’s uncomfortable so it doesn’t happen to him. So they are focused on getting out of that, and he is safe.

Trauma-response (isn’t it all?). I think there are two parts here.

The one is again about him having felt unsafe so long throughout his childhood that he expects that to happen. But no one wants to be a victim. No one wants to just sit around and let things be done to them. Least of all Troy. So if he has to feel unsafe he much rather be in control of that. He much rather put himself in those situations instead of being put into them by others. And that’s what he does, pushing and pushing knowing full well people could push back. Could have enough of him at one point.

And that’s the other thing. I think he wants people to push back. He wants people to say ‘up to here and no farther, you hear me!?’ Because he does cave when people do. When Jake does he backs down at least a little. When Madison does he backs down too. Never easily and he may try again. But for the moment he does. I think he needs the structure of that. Of other people consistently(!!!) telling him where the boundaries are. He also never had that, it was always arbitrary. And he’s searching for something to make sense to him, for something that will click. And for people to not be afraid to tell him that (which, from what it looks like, a lot of the ranch people are). To care enough maybe in a way even, to tell him, so that it makes sense. I even do think that someone expressing boundaries may even be like a trust thing for him (depending on how it’s done of course haha, tone matters. Words too (looking at you, Jake)). By that I mean that he feels like he is trusted by that person. Some kind of sign of affection, even.

It’s fun. Do I really have to explain that XD

He low-key has a deathwish. That’s a whole other post.

Troy and his own boundaries.

Now, Troy is as bad let’s say at keeping/protecting his own boundaries as he is respecting the others’.

He lets Jake push him around (ok except for that one time he hit Jake,

but, notably, it had been about the ranch then, about people leaving it scaring the ones left behind. It’s also this that makes him tell Mike to “Lock it down.” in ep6

The desire to protect the ranch and the same for when he tells Madison 'shut up, shut up.'

It's about the mission, it's about his people following him and that is why he speaks up), he let’s Madison push him around. Even Nick. Awfully ok with people waving guns in his faces or otherwise threatening him.

And, you guessed it, I do think this also is rooted in his childhood. He never had been allowed to have boundaries, there was no respect for them there (both physical and emotional abuse will do that to a person). And so he never really learned how to protect them (or that it was ok to do so). Possibly the only time he actually is defending his boundaries is when he gets angry (out of control) and then it is in no way an adequate response but way over the top.

But the fact that he doesn’t respect his own boundaries isn’t only manifesting in how he let’s other people physical or verbally push him around (dismissing his insights, too). It’s also notable in the way he takes to Madison. He’s all in, very early on, just breezing through normal steps of building a relationship, no caution. This is something that can also result from having one’s own boundaries ignored from very early on, an abnormal behavior let's say in forming attachments.

And he does the same with Nick. “I think we can be friends now” he said to him the second he thought Nick was worth it XD Worth which Nick proved by… waving a gun in his face (there’s that deathwish again, his fascination with danger…)

In conclusion Troy Otto's boundary issues are mostly rooted in trauma. It's a way to protect himself but at the same time a search (honestly a cry by this time) for someone to set boundaries. Consistently and respectfully. And maybe even a cry for someone to respect his own boundaries but I think that one is buried even further in him. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[suddencolds]

my favorite writing reflection buddy, thank you so much for your help with putting that list together 🥰 truly appreciate all the chances we’ve had to be thoughtful about the process together and all your insight over the years! Ok without further adieu..

💘🤧💦🌞 (i’m limiting myself to 4 but i would ask you everything)

AHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! I was holding back on sending you the whole list truly KFAJKJFKH

Thank you for all the writing convos we've had after all these years!! I've always seen myself in your appreciation of literary fiction/prose and your thoughtfulness when it comes to writing process :') I feel like I've learned so much from you!!

Okay! Onto answers:

💘 - What are some of your favorite things you’ve written and why?

I've thought about this a lot :')

Fanfic:

Bad Timing - an allergy fic (crazy for me, I know), ft. two characters I've never written together ever again? haha. I particularly like the last scene here; I think the caretaking I write is usually more tender. Rosaria's response is neither tender nor sadistic—just detached :') The novelty of that was refreshing to me.

Pretense, pt 1 and pt 2 - This one did not get as great of a reception at the time of posting, I think because part 1 is a little boring LOL. I don't have much to say, except that it's lighthearted and fluffy!

Untrustworthy - Diluc at the scene of the crime again 😭 This was a commission for someone, and it's also one of the few fics I've cross-posted to ao3. Honestly, I write a lot of stuff like this (i.e. similar in tone & character dynamic), but within the niche of what I'm most familiar with, I especially like this piece in terms of execution.

Original:

Fool Me Twice, Part 3 - quite possibly one of my favorite things I've written of Yves and Vincent, ever (and it came so early on in the series, too!) There's a certain character moment in this one (iykyk) that I'm particularly proud of :) And stylistically (as in... prose), I think I'm happy with it too.

Foreign Home - for a oneshot, this is long, but I do like the heart-to-heart I wrote at the end of it.

The Worst Timing, part 1 - this got me through the slog (jk, it was fun when it was going well LOL) of writing the 4 subsequent parts. The entire TWT mini-series is 28k words long 😭 Part 1 I think is a solid opener; I honestly have not worked up the courage to reread much of the rest.

—

🤧 - What’s your process for writing spellings?

I'm embarrassed to say that I've written soooo much snzfic in my life 95% of the time spellings are just something I write something from memory. 😭 That said, I sometimes reread other people's snzfics and with special attention paid to their spellings to expand like, my mental repository of consonant placings & pairings.

When I'm writing 2 different characters, I usually have to explicitly think through how their spellings might differ from each other before I can write them! I can suspend my disbelief if two characters from two different fandoms have similar spellings/snz archetypes, because I'll never write them in the same fic 😭 But if the characters exist in the same universe, in my head, their spellings have to have some level of distinctness/non-overlap.

—

💦 - Are your favorite snz tropes to read also your favorite ones to write? Elaborate if you want!

AHH I love this question!! Thank you!!!

I think the most memorable snzfic I've consumed has been snzfic that has surprised me, either in terms of tropes or execution. When I'm reading original fic or fanfic for characters I'm not familiar with, I like reading things that feel very different from my own work—sharper, bolder in execution, unexpected in terms of direction, etc. :')

I think I have a decent sense of what I am already familiar with writing. I like seeing other people operate outside of that niche... so long as there's still some overlap with what I personally find hot. (So in that sense, it doesn't align exactly!)

That said! There are some tropes which I write frequently which are soooo hot to me that I could see them written 90580923 ways and not tire of them (eg caretaker catching the sick character's cold?? sign me up please!) 😭😭 I also think I don't care as much for trope novelty/new execution if I already really like the characters.

—

🌞 - Do you need a specific environment to write? Like music, a certain time of day, a certain type of place?

The one non-negotiable aspect for me is that it needs to be very quiet :') I absolutely can't write with music on (despite being a huge music enjoyer + songwriter). I'm not good at tuning out 'unimportant' audio stimuli, so I'd rather not have music/sound fight with writing for my attention.

Aside from that! I think I do most of my writing in my room btwn like, 7pm-12am (in part because I'm a bit of a night owl, and in part because the house tends to be quieter during those hours).

[ Question List ]