#wait dean and Cas aren’t husbands anymore

[spookyseraphs]

Again idk what’s up with the name title cards but I’m here for it

[pinknatural]

After a long while, Jack straightens back up, wiping away his tears.

“Sorry about your shirt,” he says again. Dean waves his hand in dismissal. What’s some snot and tears? 

“It’s fine,” he says again. “I mean it, kid.”

Jack looks like he might begin to cry all over again, but he sniffs and makes a valiant effort not to. They’re in a motel room--Dean couldn’t bear the Bunker, and Sam and Eileen’s honeymoon phase. He’s happy for them, of course he is, but seeing them so in love is kind of painful, and Dean could tell Sam was trying not to be overt about it to spare Dean’s feelings, and Dean just felt that, well--he might as well remove himself from the situation, at least for a little bit. 

(Plus, now he has some peace and quiet--the motel room is littered with books and research, scrolls and files and other pieces of lore--all on the afterlife, of course. All on how to get there.)

“Okay,” Jack says. “Okay.” He raises a glowing hand to his own forehead, but he pauses when his fingers are about an inch away. He swallows. 

“Come on, kid, what are you waiting for?” Dean asks. 

“I could bring her back,” Jack whispers. “I should bring her back.” 

He lowers his hand, turns a stricken gaze to Dean. 

“Who?” Dean asks. He thinks, Kelly. He thinks, Maggie. He thinks, absurdly, Charlie. 

“Emma,” Jack says. 

Dean feels as if he’s been hit over the head. 

“What?” he says. Has he turned into a fish and been left out on the docks? Where did all the air go?

“You’ve been thinking about her,” Jack says, like a confession. “Praying.” He has, if only because he’s been wallowing in what he can’t have, the husband, the daughter. He has, if only because he’s been wondering if the way to the Empty could be through Purgatory. Would he have time to sweep the place first? Would he be able to find her, unlike the last two times he was there?

“Yeah,” Dean tries to say, but no sound comes out. He tries again. “Yeah. You could really…?”

“I can do anything,” Jack says, with a sad, bitter smile, and Dean reaches for him. Jack falls into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Dean’s back, clinging to his shirt. Dean runs a hand up his back, cups the back of his neck. 

“You don’t have to,” Dean says. It’s one of the hardest things he’s ever said. “God, kid, I’d like nothing more, but you don’t have to. You gotta do what’s best for you, you hear me?”

“I know,” Jack says. He sniffles. Dean thinks he might be crying again. “And I love Claire so much but I just want my sister. Dad, I want to bring her back.”

Dean squeezes his son. He closes his eyes. 

“Then bring her back,” he whispers, and one of Jack’s hands leaves Dean’s back. Golden light shines, starting behind Dean and filling up the room, making it brighter and brighter and Jack gets smaller and smaller and Dean just holds on, tighter and tighter. 

The light fades. 

A little boy has his face buried in Dean’s gut, arms wrapped tight around Dean. They don’t even go all the way around, anymore. Dean runs a hand through Jack’s hair, stunned even though Jack told him this was what he wanted, even though they’d talked and talked about it before Jack decided to go through with it. 

“What?” a tiny voice says, and Dean turns around. 

Emma is standing there, only she’s not--she’s not exactly the Emma Dean remembers. Instead of being sixteen, she’s something like eight years old, eyes wide and hair tangled with leaves. She’s splattered with blood, and wearing the same clothes she’d died in--the same clothes Dean buried her in. They’re too big for her, and she looks like she’s on the verge of tears. 

“What happened?” she asks, looking around the motel room wildly. “Where am I?”

“Emma,” Dean says, untangling himself from the three year old on the bed and kneeling, reaching out gently. He stays near the bed, afraid of spooking her. “You were rescued from Purgatory. You’re safe.” He turns to Jack. “Why is she little?”

“She’s human,” Jack says, shrugging. He’s chewing on the end of his sleeve, eyes wide. His clothes, at least, are three-year-old sized. Dean wonders where he’s supposed to get Emma some clothes, but there’s a pink suitcase sitting beside Dean’s duffel. The sight of it is too much, and he looks back at his daughter. 

“Safe?” Emma repeats, looking down at her hands. She flexes her tiny fingers. 

“Eight years have passed,” Dean says, still holding out his hands--he’s not sure if he’s trying to soothe her or reach for her. “You’re safe, you don’t have to kill anyone, I won’t hurt you.”

Emma looks around again. She sees her suitcase and stares at it, then swings her gaze back around. “Who’s that?” She points at Jack. 

“That’s Jack, that’s my son,” Dean says. “Your brother. He brought you back.”

“How?”

“He was powered up--he was God--but now he’s just a kid,” Dean says. “He, um, wanted to bring you back.”

“Dada was prayin’ for you,” Jack says, voice muffled around the sleeve he’s still chewing. Dean reaches out and gently removes it from his mouth. “He wanted you to come back. I wanted to meet you.”

“Oh,” Emma says. She looks down at her pants. “I’m all dirty.”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “The bathroom’s over there if you want to--shower. I can help you if you want.”

Emma shakes her head and reaches for her suitcase. She goes into the bathroom, turning around and looking back at Dean and Jack, eyes wide, until she shuts the door behind her. Dean collapses back onto his feet, running his hands over his face, laughing incredulously. 

“I did good?” Jack asks, sliding off the bed and crawling onto Dean’s lap. “I did good?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Dean says, voice cracking. He hears the shower turn on, the water begin to run. He curls up tight over Jack. “You did great.”

--

The first thing Cas is aware of is big blue eyes. The rest of the features on that face sharpen into a nose and mouth, grace smearing around the small face, and although it seems impossible, it can only be--

“Jack?”

“Daddy!” Jack cries, and he throws himself onto Cas. Cas catches him easily, holds his tiny body within his arms. Oh, he’s so small. His golden wings stretch as big as they go, which is not very big, to wrap themselves around Cas, and reflexively he wraps his own around Jack as well, holding him tight, rocking slightly back and forth.

Then he remembers--everything, and that he’s supposed to be dead, and he looks up.

Green eyes. Freckles, slightly crooked nose, beloved mouth, beloved jawline.

“Cas,” Dean croaks, and he falls to his knees. Cas is on the floor, legs crossed and Jack curled up on his lap. Cas doesn’t want to let go but Jack wiggles away, and Cas is afraid to reach out but helpless to do anything else.

Dean crawls toward him, falls against him. He presses his face into Cas’ neck and breathes, in and out, and Cas thinks he might be crying. But Cas is breathing Dean in, and he smells like the Impala (home) and guns (safety) and lemon (Dean) and Cas’ eyes aren’t very dry, either. 

“You dumb son of a bitch,” Dean says, voice tucked safe into the place between Cas’ neck and shoulder. “You goddamned idiot. You stupid fucker. You dumbass, you, you.”

“Dean,” Cas says, and Dean shudders out a shaky breath, breathes heavily against him. Dean is alive in Cas’ arms, and he couldn’t be happier.

He tilts his gaze up, looking for Jack, and he finds instead a little girl with brown-blonde hair. She’s wearing a pink t-shirt and denim shorts and one of Dean’s flannels. She’s practically swimming in it, but her sleeves are rolled up and her eyes are the same apple-green as Dean’s, and Cas holds Dean tighter. 

“Emma?” he asks. She nods and looks away uncomfortably. 

“Emmie, Emmie, my daddy’s back,” Jack says, bouncing over to her and dancing around, wings flapping madly. 

“Yeah,” Emma says. 

Dean clears his throat and finally leans back from Cas. He reaches out an arm and Emma comes over to him, sitting on the floor beside him and tucking herself against his side. Dean wipes away tears with his other hand as Jack barrels back around, throwing himself into Cas’ lap. Cas holds him and looks around. 

They’re in a motel room, two queen beds, identical to the countless ones Sam and Dean have stayed in over the years. But there’s a pink suitcase next to the TV and a blue duffel with sharks on it beside it. On one of the beds there’s a pair of stuffed rabbits, one pink and one yellow. There are various books and scrolls piled on the little table beside the couch and also piled onto the couch itself. Spell ingredients are on the floor, spread out over a placemat. 

“Daddy,” Emma says, and Cas looks at her, tugging on Dean’s overshirt. His heart melts. Dean deserves nothing less, of course, but he knows what toll gaining then losing a daughter has had on Dean. He’s so glad that Dean can have her back, that she can have Dean, too, that she can have another chance. She deserves it, and already Cas looks at her and sees her hair in a careful braid and her Wonder Woman socks and he knows he would die for her. “If me and Jack are siblings and you’re Jack’s dad and that’s Jack’s dad, too, then. Um.”

She looks at Cas nervously. Dean squeezes her shoulders. 

“Me and Cas have to talk about all that,” Dean says. Cas is astounded that it’s not an instant denial. 

“We do?” he asks, and Dean meets his gaze head on.

“Yeah,” he says. “We got a lotta stuff to talk about, you and me. Kids, why don’t you watch some TV and Cas and I’ll go outside.”

Jack scrambles off of Cas’ lap and turns around, presses a wet kiss to Cas’ cheek, then he climbs onto the bed with the stuffed animals. He grabs onto the yellow bunny and Emma crawls beside him, putting the pink bunny on her lap and pointing the remote at the TV. Cas stands and offers his hand to Dean, who takes it, lets Cas pull him up.

Dean goes outside and Cas follows, of course he does. They don’t let go of each other’s hands. 

“Why are we in a motel?” Cas asks. Dean shrugs. 

“Needed some space,” he says. “Then I wasn’t sure how big of a house to get.”

“A house?”

“Yeah,” Dean says. He rubs at the back of his neck with his free hand. “Can’t raise kids in a bunker, come on man.”

“What about Sam?”

“He’s fine,” Dean says. “On a hunt with Eileen.”

“Oh,” Cas says, slightly confused. 

“Yeah, I dunno,” Dean says. “Salt-and-burn in Orlando, I think. So, um, listen, man…”

“Thank you for getting me out of the Empty,” Cas blurts, afraid Dean is about to reject him. He has always known Dean would do so, but he thinks to hear it would be--upsetting.

“Of course,” Dean says. “You’re, um. I couldn’t just leave you there, you’re--”

“Family?” Cas suggests.

“Yeah,” Dean says. He takes a step forward. “Though, you know, I’ve been thinkin’ about what we are to each other.”

“You have?” Cas takes a step back when Dean takes another step forward. 

“Yeah,” Dean breathes. “Living together, raising a kid together, dying for each other. Never wanting to be apart.”

“Oh?” Cas says, and his back hits the wall. Dean stands over him, caging him in with only one hand--the other still wrapped around Cas’ palm, their fingers intertwined. 

“You know what that sounds like?” Dean asks, breath ghosting along Cas’ jaw, and Cas can’t really think. Why is Dean standing so close to him?

“Family?” Cas croaks, brain stuck on the word. Family, they’re family.

“I was thinking it sounded like husbands, Cas,” Dean says, and then Cas doesn’t have to worry about why Dean is standing so close anymore, because Dean kisses him, and Cas’ brain ceases functioning--but it’s okay, because if Dean says they’re husbands, who is Cas to argue?

--

Sam pulls up to the motel after dropping Eileen off at the Bunker. She was tired from driving all night and Sam doesn’t blame her, but he can’t believe he’s missed everything while he went to one measly salt-and-burn.

He parks the car and gets out, crossing the parking lot. He knocks on the door and Claire opens it. She looks the same as always, except she has a purple stuffed bunny peeking out of her jacket pocket. Sam is smart enough not to comment on this. 

She steps aside and lets him in, and Emma squeaks and practically climbs up Dean when she sees him. It’s a work in progress, with her, and Sam feels terrible but he’s not sure what he can do besides give her time, so he looks away and instead turns to Cas, who smiles when he sees him. 

“Sam!” he says, and he stands up from the couch, crosses the room and hugs him. 

“It’s good to see you,” Sam says, clapping Cas on the back.

“Sam!” Jack says, and he barrels towards Sam’s legs with the determination of a battering ram, and Sam intercepts him before he can make contact, picking him up and swinging him over his shoulder. Jack laughs and laughs, and Kaia waves at Sam from her spot curled up on the couch. 

“This motel room is very full,” Sam says, looking around, and Dean grins at him. 

“That’s why we’re shopping, Sammy,” he says, and he points at his laptop. 

“Find anything good?” Sam asks, crossing the room to sit on the couch so he can see the computer. He deposits Jack into Cas’ arms, and Dean comes to sit on his other side. Emma stays on the bed, hiding behind Claire, who’s obviously taking guard-duty pretty seriously since she’s half-glaring at Sam.

Sam looks away and turns his gaze toward the computer. 

“We weren’t finding any good listings so we’re looking for some land, now,” Dean says. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in the Bunker? We’ve got a lotta room,” Sam says. 

“Nah,” Dean says. He slings his arm around Cas, who’s perched on the arm of the couch. “We need a house.”

“Windows,” Cas says solemnly, tangling his and Dean’s fingers, and Sam notes the movement with a pleased smile. 

“But if we build a house we can add-in wards and stuff, right into the foundations,” Dean says. “We can make sure it’s safe, and good.”

“Will you build it?” Sam asks, even though he knows the answer. 

“Damn straight,” Dean says. The silver band on his ring finger flashes as he shuts the laptop. Jack crawls into Kaia’s lap, and she wraps her arms around him. 

“I think it’s a good idea,” she says. 

“Yeah,” Sam says. He meets his brother’s eyes. “Me too.”

(ao3)

[wormstacheangel]

Happy Birthday, Bec ( @chocolatecakecas)! Have some momma Dean and Daddy Cas get together :)

wc: 2.5k

Dean holds the preschool’s scrunched-up flyer in his hand before letting out a heavy sigh. He never thought he would ever celebrate Mother’s Day again, and he especially never thought that he would be the mother who would be celebrated.

He begged Cas not to make him do this, but it wasn’t Cas who he was afraid to disappoint.

Dean stuffed the paper back into his pocket before walking over to the front office to check-in for this Muffin with Mom event. He talked to the school beforehand to check if it was okay for him to show up to this event, but they already knew he was ‘Momma’ to Jack, so they saw it coming. Of course, they did but Dean sure as fuck didn’t.

He walks into the office and follows the signs that lead outside to the big grass area that transformed from a play area to a nicely decorated picnic area. Everything was pink, from the flowers to the plastic table cloths, but it didn’t feel too overwhelming because they were outside. His eyes spotted the small photo op area, and he couldn’t wait to get some cute pictures of him and Jack so Cas can add to his album.

At least that would be worth the embarrassment.

Dean joined some of the familiar faces of the sea of ladies that crowded the classroom doors—waiting for the kids to be let loose and get this party finally started. He smiles and waves at them, knowing them from pick up and playdate parties at their homes.

Dean and Cas know they can never host one at their home in the lakehouse cause while the outside has invisible warding, the inside looked like a crazy person lived in there. It was a heavily warded place that hides them for a good few miles to any supernatural monster— angels included, so it’s a good thing Cas knows how to use google maps or he would always skip their street— but the inside Jack was free to let his wings out and practice his powers.

“Okay!” He looks up to see Jack’s classroom open up. “Go find your Moms!”

He walks closer, seeing little rugrats running past him, and crouches until he meets the gaze of his little angel. “Hiya, bud!”

“Momma!” Jack shouts as he sprints to him and then jumps into Dean’s arms, almost knocking him back with his strength. Jack snuggles into Dean’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around his neck, staying locked in place as Dean stands up.

“Why are you surprised? Told you I was gonna come.” Dean rubs his hand up and down his back as they follow the group of moms to line up for the food. Other classes start to open up, and Dean at least wanted something to damn snack on while he’s here.

“I know.” Jack pulls back and presses Dean’s cheeks together with his little hands, and luckily with none of his strength. “I was just scared.”

“Why?” Dean asks with puckered lips.

“Cause,” Jack sighs before leaning back down to rest his head on Dean’s shoulder. His tiny fist is holding the collar of his jacket in a tight grip. “I know you’re not a Momma like the other Momma’s.”

Dean’s stomach drops at the words.

He quickly got out of line and went inside his now empty classroom so they can talk. Dean hates these tiny chairs, but he sat down anyway, hoping it won’t break from under him, before pulling Jack away to face him.

“Jack,” He was stubborn, but a little tickling always did the trick. Dean takes Jack’s face in between his hands so he would look at him. “I am not like the other Momma’s, but I am still yours. That’s why I’m here, right?”

Jack nods, a small smile on his face that was a carbon copy of Cas’s own.

“I better be, cause I heard you owe me a muffin!” Dean leans forward to gently bite Jack’s cheek, who giggles and screams while he pushed Dean away with child strength.

“Stop! Momma!” Jack laughs before Dean showers his face with kisses so that he could see the pout leave and a bright grin appear. One that made Dean love life so much more than he ever thought he could.

“Love you.” Dean places a final kiss on Jack’s nose. Only for Jack to copy him and repeat, “Love you.”

They went back outside and had to go to the back of the line, but with Jack in his arms, he was perfectly content. He loves hearing his little four-year-old ramble on while telling a story.

When they got their food—a muffin and some damn apple juice, he’s going to have to take Jack to lunch after this—they went to sit at a crowded table that was calling for Dean to join them. Usually, everyone enjoys Cas’s company a lot more than his, but right now, they had Dean to play with, and he didn’t mind getting the attention of all the milf’s in school.

He sat down in the middle of the table with Jack on his lap so Dean can make sure his kid at least eats a bit of the muffin before running around with the rest of his friends. The whole mommy and me event just became a big chance for mommy’s to gossip, and he couldn’t help but wanna be a part of it.

They were all talking about a Mom who didn’t show up and instead sent the babysitter when Jack finally got inpatient and ran off to play with his friends. When Jack was out of earshot, all eyes fell on Dean when he stuffed almost half a muffin in his mouth. He looks at them with raised eyebrows, asking them a silent, “What?” as their smiles spelled trouble for Dean.

“We heard from the secretary that you and Castiel aren’t together...together.” Liz whispers the last word as she leaned closer to him.

“That’s not a secret.” Dean swallows the rest of the muffin and finishes off the apple juice. “Cas and me are friends.”

“Really?” Carmen sat back in her chair, looking as if the universe didn’t make sense anymore. All eyes fell on Liz again, as if she was chosen to be the ring leader to ask all these questions.

“But you guys talk about each other like—I was gonna say like I talk about my husband, but that’s not true. I complain more than anything, but you two are always--you’re like a team. Like an actual team! And the way--the way you look at each other!”

“Okay,” Dean clears his throat, feeling his face heat up. “I don’t know what you are getting at, but Cas and I are best friends. We’re just raising his kid together. My brother helps too. It’s not-It’s just not like that with us.”

“But, do you want it to be?” Carmen leans in again, and Dean looks around at the milf’s that thought Cas and him were a married couple. “Cause it kinda looks like you want it to be.”

Dean opened his mouth to answer defensively cause, of course, he didn’t. He was perfectly fine living his domestic life with Cas and Jack. Maybe they were not a traditional family, but there was no damn way they would ever be with ⅔ of the family being celestial beings. Still, going to bed alone was getting harder each night. The longing stares have become heavier, and all the missed opportunities were starting to weigh on him.

He wanted so much more, but how can he ask for that when this is already the happiest he has ever been and the happiest he has ever seen Cas. He can’t risk making it awkward by expressing his feelings that may not be reciprocated. That’s fucking embarrassing for one, but Dean also didn’t want to risk losing the closest thing he has ever gotten to having a family of his own.

“It’s not that simple.” Dean finally groaned as he ran his hand through his hair. “Things are complicated between us.”

“Well, uncomplicate them!” Liz hits his arm to grab Dean’s attention before he falls back into his head.

“Mommy! Come watch me on the swings!” One of the kids call for them, and all the rest of the kids came running over, Jack included. But by the look of Jack’s face, Dean can tell the superhearing was working perfectly fine.

“Come here, bud.” Dean opens his arms, and while the rest of the mothers got up to watch their kid play, Jack stayed curled up in Dean’s arms as they finish their muffins together.

“Momma?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“We’re a real family, right?”

Dean presses a kiss to Jack’s hair. “Course we are, Jack. Me and your Daddy love you.”

“And you love each other?” He looks up at Dean with those same piercing blue eyes and curious look that he found so fond in Cas.

“Always have.” Dean quickly answers as he squeezes his kid. “Now eat so we can take some pictures.”

Dean ends up taking Jack home, with the preschool arts and crafts presents in the passenger seat, because maybe Dean does have to get his head out of his ass. Cause Dean knows Cas loves him. Was it the same kind of love Dean felt? Who knows? But they are going to find out.

“We’re just gonna pick up Daddy and go out to get some real food in you. Got it, bud?” Dean looks over at the rearview mirror to see a thumbs up and an excited grin.

“Got it, Momma!”

When Dean parks the car outside, he told Jack to wait in the car—the kid can turn on the car and play with the radio with his mind, he’ll be fine— while he went inside to tell Cas to get ready.

“I’m home!” Dean called out as soon as he was in the house and then hears an “In here!” coming from the bathroom. He walks in to see Cas was under the bathroom sink, all the cleaning products spread around him, probably fixing that leak that was bothering him so much.

“Hey,” Dean kicks him gently to get his attention before crouching beside him. “Go get ready. I have Jack in the car; let’s go have some lunch.”

Cas scooted out from under the sink, and when he sat up, his face was only inches away from Dean’s own. He looked utterly unphased from being so close while Dean’s breath hitched at feeling Cas’s sigh touch his lips.

“I don’t even eat, Dean.” Cas wipes his hands on a towel before pushing himself up to stand. Dean took a shaky breath before he stands up too. “And why did you take Jack from school so early?”

Dean follows Cas out of the bathroom and into Cas’s bedroom, “You eat sometimes and cause I wanted to have some family time.” Dean sits at Cas’s bed as he watches the angel change into a clean shirt, his back muscles as beautiful as usual. “And I just, I think we should talk.”

Cas turns around to look at Dean with a curious head tilt. “About?”

Dean stood up to slowly walk over to Cas, not meeting his eyes, as he whispers, “Us.” Dean can see Cas start to look panic at the word, and before Cas could say anything, Dean leans forward to press his lips at the corner of Cas’s mouth. “I wanna know how you feel about us.”

Cas stood wide-eyed as Dean pulls away. He waits for an answer, but the angel was just staring at him with fingers twitching to reach and hold something. Dean took Cas’s hand and twined their fingers together; hopefully, that is what Cas wanted.

“I know we’re just playing pretend here,” Dean continues as he looks down at their hands. “But I’m tired of playing, Cas. I want, fuck okay, shit, I just-- I want to-I want,”

“Yes?” Cas leans in closer, urging Dean to continue, but Dean wasn’t sure he could, so he looks up to see Cas lick those soft lips.

He knows he wasn’t good at using his words, but he has always been good at showing, doing, so he lets out a quiet, “Fuck it.” Before letting actions speak.

His free hand went to the back of Cas’s neck to hold him as their lips crashed together. Dean knew Cas could pull away whenever he wanted with his angel strength, but he also knew Cas was letting Dean take the lead in this. Letting Dean push him up against the dresser and kiss him with panic but also so much love. Cause he loves him. He loves Cas. He was so fucking in love with him that it drove him crazy at times, but he couldn’t imagine doing this domestic life with anybody else.

“I love you.” Dean finally breaths against Cas’s lips. It overwhelmed him to finally have those words said aloud while Cas’s hands were burning his skin from under his shirt, but it also made him feel lighter. To say the words he wanted to scream. “I love you so much, Cas.”

Cas’s grip loosened for a second before it tightened, and Dean took that opportunity to open his eyes to look at him. To read the unreadable.

He leans back to see Cas’s baby blue’s water.

“Cas?”

Cas responds with a few blinks, tears falling freely now, as his expression softens at his name. “Yes?” One of Cas’s hands reached to slowly caress Dean’s face as if trying to see if this was real. If Dean was real.

“Kinda pouring my heart out here, buddy, maybe wanna respond?” Dean turns his head just enough to press a kiss to Cas’s palm, hearing Cas let out a small gasp.

“I’m confused. This morning you left telling me you were gonna kick my ass for sending you to the preschool, and now,” Cas leans forward, slowly and hesitantly, but Dean didn’t move. He closes his eyes and waits until their lips met again. Feeling his heart pound and breath catch as the kiss was softer this time. His head flooded with so much want, but Cas quickly pulls away as he continued, “And now I can do that.”

“Yeah,” Dean’s eyes flutter open as he clears his throat. “Yeah, Momma had a little push from the milf’s this morning, and I just realized that I want— I want you. I want us to be together like a real family. Cause I love you and-and, it would be nice if you fucking said it back sometime soon.”

Cas laughs a low chuckle that made Dean’s toes curl as he leans forward again to press their noses together. “I love you too, Dean.”

“Took you long enough.” Dean was going in for another kiss, but the car horn made them both jump. “Shit, our kid still in the car.”

Dean leaves a kiss on Cas’s cheek, feeling more intimate than the last few kisses. “Get ready. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Dean didn’t meet Cas’s eyes as his blush rose to his cheeks.

Tag List: hello this is long enough to tag you guys :)

@tearsofgrace @nguyenxtrang @smiledean @chocolatecakecas

@blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @shelikestv @spicyspiess @icefire149

@archervale @starlightcastiel @sierraxnevada

@lexies-obsessions-and-memes @castiel-is-a-cat @slipper007

@belacoded @takemetotheworld @imlivingliferightnow

@celestialcastiel @manifestingdestiel @sinnabonka

@confusedisaster @wikiangela @carryonwaywardsquirrel

@my-people-skillls-are-rusty @thefaeriemagic3 @wigglebox

@im-sam-fucking-winchester @becky-srs @thefantasyfiend

@deanwinchesterstentaclefetish @achillestiel @sarahblakenatural

@likepurplemuses @marichankitty @castielkrushnic @bestiegirlboss

@martymar1963 @destielfactory @mjthehumandisaster

@misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @destielskygalaxypalace

@trasherasswood @s-r-clowns @eshaninjer

@readeroftheimmortalbooks

[adhdeancas]

Dean Winchester (and the script leaks last night) possessed me to write this.

Dean happens upon Chuck's latest book: Carry On. Except it ends differently than it really went, and the ending? It's really fucking bad.

tw: suicide mention, transphobia (quickly shut the fuck down) 

Dean doesn’t make a habit of going to bookstores. Not because he hates books, contrary to what Sam might think; he just prefers to buy used books. There’s something comforting about a book that has already been worn and read over and over, that already shows how much the previous owner loved it. Plus, y’know, big corporations are evil and all that. And Dean only allows himself to overlook that when his stomach or his wallet wins over his hatred of the shitty mass-produced products. 

This time it was Jack who won; he’s obsessed with this new fantasy series and the new book just came out, so there’s no way he can hunt it down on Ebay. He makes his way to the fantasy and sci-fi section, eyes roaming over the displays of new releases, and his eye catches on something that turns his blood cold. 

“Supernatural: Carry On, The Final Book of the Winchesters’ Epic Journey” takes up a whole table, the generic and overly serious cover jeering out at him. 

He storms over to the display, anger covering up for the way his body feels light as a feather and like lead all at once, and picks up a book. “Why is Sam always fucking shirtless?” he mutters, the only thought that allows itself from the mess inside his head to his mouth. 

“Book sales.” A voice behind him says. He turns to see a teenager with their arms crossed over their work polo, pierced lip fixed into a customer-unfriendly frown.

“People want to see that?”

They snort, a small grin turning up the corner of their lips. It reminds Dean of Cas. “No. But that’s what advertisers think all ‘women’ want,” They use air quotes. 

He raises an eyebrow and asks. “Women?”

They shrug and uncross their arms, leaning back against the display table behind them. Their nametag says Jadyn. “Supernatural’s biggest block of readers is queer. I’d go out on a limb and say a lot of those the marketers think of as ‘women’ aren’t, or if they are, they aren’t itching to see Sam’s six pack.” Jadyn smirks. 

Dean takes a second to digest that, then grins down at the book, thinking past Sam’s apparently badly-received nudity now. “So how’d they like it?” he asks, waving the book a bit and looking up at Jadyn. Apparently they know a lot about the fans of the books, and for once, he’s proud of the way the story ended. 

Jadyn’s face sets into all hard lines. “Most people fucking hated it.” they say bluntly, then, probably remembering that he’s a customer, correct. “Sorry. I mean, it got some good reviews, mostly from people who like Wincest, but beyond that, it had some problematic plot points.”

Dean winces at the reminder of the ship between him and his brother, then scrunches his whole face together in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” Why would Wincest fans like it? What was problematic about their end?

Jadyn shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t wanna spoil anything for you-”

“I don’t care about spoilers, just give me the short version.” Dean says quickly. A quiet panic is rising in him, and suddenly he has a horrible feeling that he’s not holding the truth in his hands anymore. 

“Uh, okay… Well, the most obvious thing is the bury-your-gays thing, then there’s the fact that it completely contradicted the rest of the lore. And it was ableist, misogynistic, and messed up, like, every character’s arc.” they take a breath, clearly worked up by it. “Even if they changed any of the details too, it was all built on Dean’s death, and that’s just bullshit. Sorry.” they apologize again, apparently mistaking Dean’s stricken expression to be in reaction to their rant and swearing. 

“No, nah, you’re… you’re okay. Uh, thanks.” he waves a hand and wanders away from them, only remembering Jack’s book when he’s almost to the register. He manages to make his way back and find the damn thing, but he’s still in a fog when he gets to the register. 

“Did anyone help you in the store today?”

“Huh?” he looks up and meets the middle-aged cashier’s gaze for the first time. Brent, from the nametag, looks at him impatiently. “Oh, yeah, uh… Jadyn. Jadyn helped me.” Brent scoffs and starts typing with a shake of the head. “Uh, is there a problem?” Dean asks, a little annoyed at this cashier’s unnecessary attitude. He usually doesn’t care if an employee’s rude, because they have to deal with assholes all the time and honestly Dean isn’t much better, but this one gives him a bad feeling. 

“No, no, sorry. It’s just - “Jadyn’s” got this idea that he’s a girl. Makes everybody call him that name now too. Just-” Brent shakes his head. “I mean, you get it. Their generation, everybody wants to be special.”

Dean glares. “No, I don’t get it, Brent.” He says through gritted teeth. “Seems to me like Jadyn probably deals with enough assholes like you that her asking for a little basic decency is the exact opposite of special. Sounds pretty normal, actually.” He can see the fear creep into Brent’s eyes, and he knows the cashier is reacting to the murderous look in his eyes more than his actual words. 

Brent hands Dean his bag of books with a quiet, “Here you go.”

Dean snatches it away. “Oh, Brent?” he checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re alone and then leans across the counter into Brent’s space. “You should find a new job, one where you don’t have to interact with other people. At least until you learn how to stop being a piece of shit.” He starts to ease away but thinks better about it. “And if you think that’s a suggestion, it’s not. My husband likes this book coming out next month that I’ll need to buy, and if I see you here when I come, well… it would be really embarrassing for you to tell all your little friends that you got your ass beat by a ‘special’ guy, huh?” He pats Brent on the cheek condescendingly and leaves with a huff. 

Damn transphobes. 

He only remembers the book once he’s back in Baby, and he takes the time to drive out of town before he pulls over to read it. It’s an old abandoned church, the cross long since fallen from the roof and the doors hanging off their hinges. He sits on the steps just because being in Baby seems claustrophobic for once in his life, and going back to the bunker to look at this is just… not happening.

Dean only skims the beginning to see that it starts the same. The ground erupting with bodies, hell spitting out its most-conveniently placed nasties, Rowena sacrificing herself, Cas leaving. His throat closes up at that, at Chuck’s description of Cas’s heartbroken expression as he climbs the stairs of the bunker. He clears his throat and skips to the end, right past Cas’s death that he doesn’t have the time to think about right now, past them defeating Chuck and then stops. He goes back a few pages, trying to find the disconnect. 

The story’s different.

After Jack takes on God’s power, in the book, he’s totally fine. Not almost vibrating out of his skin or anything, not crying like the three year old he is because he’s scared. Not like it really happened. He just smiles and leaves him and Sam, and they let him go. 

Dean scoffs, skimming over the story as it just gets more ridiculous. 

In the book, he doesn’t even try to save Cas. They barely even mention him. And they never mention Eileen, either. In fact, Dean notes disbelievingly, practically the only characters in the last few chapters are him and Sam. They’re hunting again.

“What, is Chuck trying to keep the series going?” he whispers to himself, anger flaring through him. They let Chuck live, and he decided to write obnoxious fanfiction about them? He’s gonna kill that shameless little fucker. For real, this time. He deserves it.

In the book, Sam and Dean torture some vampire mime, and they enjoy it. Dean cringes; this is really what Chuck thinks of them. Then they tussle with more vamps in a barn and- 

Dean’s brain stops working. He rereads the scene again and again. 

“There’s something in my… something in my back. It feels like it’s right through me.” 

Dean Winchester dies in a dirty barn, on a piece of freaking rebar. 

More than that, Dean realizes on his fourth read-through. This Dean? He tried to drag out his speech, Dean can tell by the way he pauses for fucking drama. He would never do that. He would never talk to Sam for fifteen hellish minutes when he could be trying. Trying to live, so he can actually get his life back on track, get his family back. No, he made that speech stalling. He made that speech so Sam wouldn’t try to save him. 

“You gotta admit, I had one helluva ride.” He was strangely calm.

Chuck made him kill himself.

Dean reads the rest of the book through blurry eyes, reading an ambiguous and nothing-ending, one where he’s somehow happy to be dead and driving around in heaven alone while Sam raises a kid into hunting and cries about Dean decades after he’s died. Eileen isn’t mentioned. Cas is mentioned once, and Bizzarro-Dean doesn’t even think about seeing him, apparently. The whole book ends with a hug between him and Sam, both dead. Both alone. 

Dean rips the ending up. He tears through the stupid paper covering and keeps ripping the pages up until they’re the size of confetti. His lower lip wobbles. He throws the whole thing against the side of the building, and it tumbles through the broken doorway and drops into a pile of dust and dirt. “That isn’t the fucking ending.” he grounds out, knocking his hand against the flimsy handrail. It gives a little under his fist and he kicks at it. “That isn’t the fucking ending!”

He’s having a panic attack. Again. He tries to take deep breaths, but they’re gulping, too big, they’re making him panic more. He scrambles back to Baby and grabs his phone, presses the first number on his favorites list and waits for him to answer on speaker phone.

“Hey Dean, what’s up?” Sam sounds like he’s been laughing. There are voices in the background, and Dean tries to convince himself one of them is Eileen. 

“Hey Sammy.” he chokes out, trying to sound normal. “You busy?”

There’s a pause, and then the sounds in the background. “Nah, Rowena’s just over.” he says casually. 

“So those voices in the background were-”

“Rowena and Eileen, yeah. They’re trying to convince me we need to go to Mexico. For the beaches.” A smile in his voice. Dean lets out a sigh of relief.  What’s up, Dean? You need something?” The smile drops, and Sam’s worried. 

Sam’s okay. Sam’s okay. “No, nah. Hey, you heard from Donna lately?” Dean just needs to triple-check.

“Uh, no, not since Sunday dinner… Dean, you okay?”

“Yeah, she just- she hasn’t been answering my texts. Just wanted to make sure.” Dean lies quickly. His breathing is still uneven, but his body is settling into uneven shakes. 

Sam sounds skeptical. “Yeah, well, she did tell us it’s been pretty busy at work lately. Y’know, everybody going out for the first time with COVID, getting stupid. Plus, y’know, nowhere’s drowning in EMTs right now.”

“Right. Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath, a distant memory of Donna talking about that coming back to him.

“Pretty sure you were setting up a D&D session with Charlie while she was talking about that,” Sam laughs. Dean knows he means it as a subtle jab, but there’s too much relief flooding through him to care. Still, a string is pulled taut in him, and Sam can’t fix that completely.

“Gotta go, Sam,” Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else, and goes to his next contact. It rings for far too long, and Dean’s heartbeat picks back up to thundering.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes out. “Cas, you know I love you, right?” He needs to test all the bounds of this, to make sure, just to make sure. Make sure Chuck isn’t still fucking with him. Because apparently, Chuck won’t let him be queer. Not in his story. Not out loud.

He can hear Cas’s eyebrow raise through the phone, and his chest is overcome with stupid fondness. “I would be a little worried if you didn’t.”

Dean grins widely. “Like, romantically. I’m in love with you. Because you’re the love of my life and I’m bisexual.” He says it all like it’s a checklist, like he expects some cosmic being to slap a hand over his mouth before he gets each next phrase out.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been married almost two months.” Cas is smiling. It happens everytime he talks about their wedding. Dean adores it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, now it is.” His whole body relaxes, still vibrating with leftover panic, but satisfied. “I got Jack’s book.”

“Oh, good. He’ll be so pleased.” Cas pauses. “Dean, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean eases off the ground and sends a last look at the dilapidated church before climbing into Baby. “Just- read a bad book. I’ll tell you about it later. When I get home.”

[dickspeightjrs]

It’s Just a Little Crush (au / 2.2k words) 

Prompt 7 from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ for @starclaire

ao3 link

“Okay guys, we got a little time to kill before the bell so talk amongst yourselves. But keep it quiet.” Dean warns. 

It’s an ordinary Tuesday morning in Dean’s home room class. He’s got a good bunch this year - a few interesting personalities for sure. 

“Mr Winchester?”

Ah, speaking of interesting personalities.

“Yes, Krissy?” He looks up from the lesson plan he’d put together for his sophomore class first period. He frowns when he sees the eyes of all twenty-something kids staring back at him. “What’s going on?”

Nothing would surprise him anymore. He may have only been teaching at this particular school for a couple of years but he’d been an auto shop teacher for going on ten. He’d seen everything. And that’s why he knew having his entire home room look at him, like his kids currently were, wasn’t always a good thing. 

“What’s the deal with you and Mr Novak?” She smirks. 

Mr Novak, Castiel, is head of the history department. He’d started at the school about a year before Dean. He’s a little dorky and doesn’t always get people’s jokes or references but Dean knows the kids love him. He’s had many auto shop classes that begin with students telling him all about the ‘totally awesome’ history lesson they’d just had with Mr Novak. 

Dean pretends not to understand the implication in Krissy’s question. “What do you mean?”

But Krissy isn’t letting it go. “It’s just that we’ve all noticed that you get into the same car with Mr Novak every day after school.” She shrugs, feigning innocence as if her words aren’t peppered with sly suggestions. “And we all know it’s your car because you never stop going on about it even though it’s old as hell and no one, except old men, drive cars like that anymore.”

Dean tries not to be offended on behalf of his baby. He wasn’t going to argue with a teenager about the merits of a well-kept classic vintage car. Not again anyway. 

“It ain’t any of your business, Krissy, but Mr Novak doesn’t have a car so I drive him home.” Dean explains. “Happy?”

Krissy seems to relent, realising she’s not going to get a rise out of her teacher today. 

“Nah,” comes a voice from the back row. “I reckon there’s more to it than that.”

The class shuffles around to reveal Claire Novak smirking back at the teacher. She has a mischievous look in her eyes that Dean doesn’t like. She has the rest of the students intrigued though. 

Claire’s sly look only gets bigger as she begins to speak again. “I think they’re secretly dating,” she says, never taking her eyes off Dean, watching for his reaction. 

Dean sighs. Where is that damn bell?

“No, Claire, me and Mr Novak are not dating,” he denies. “And you of all people should know that.”

Claire is Castiel’s niece. Her dad is Castiel’s twin brother, Jimmy. Jimmy came to school to pick Claire up once and it weirded everyone out seeing the exact replica of their favourite teacher stood right next to the man himself. 

“Okay, fine,” Claire relents, “but you like him, right?”

Dean is saved from answering by the bell finally ringing.

*  *  * 

Dean was foolish to hope that the details of the interrogation he’d received would stay in home room. 

By third period, he’d heard students from each of his classes whisper as they were meant to be working. He couldn’t make out everything they were saying but he kept hearing the words ‘crush’ and ‘Mr Novak’ in the same sentence. 

Crush? Dean is a grown man. He hasn’t had a crush since he met his first boyfriend when he was sixteen. 

He takes a deep breath. It’ll blow over soon. 

*  *  * 

It does not blow over. 

A week later and everyone is still talking about. Even some of the other teachers have been giving Dean knowing looks every time he’s sat next to Castiel in the teacher’s lounge. Though, Cas seems to remain none the wiser. 

By the end of the day, Dean is glad to see his baby. He couldn’t wait to get home and be distracted from the rumours of his feelings for his fellow teacher. 

As usual, Castiel joins him for the journey. Luckily, none of their students seem to be around when they get into the car. 

Once they leave the school parking lot, Dean breathes a sigh of relief. He can just be himself now, and not worry about what other people are thinking. 

The two men sit in silence for a few moments. Dean’s eyes are on the road ahead. Driving always calms him. 

“Dean, can I ask you something?” 

“Think you just did, Cas,” Dean smirks, not taking his eyes from the road. 

“You’re hilarious,” Castiel replies. Dean sees him roll his eyes from the corner of his own. His smirk just gets bigger. 

“I’ve been hearing some things around school recently,” Cas says, his voice changing to a more serious tone. “And, I just wanted to ask. Do you have a crush on me?”

It’s silent in the car for a few moments until Dean is the first to crack. 

He lets out a loud bark of laughter. “I can’t believe you managed to say that with a straight face.” He chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. 

The car pulls into the driveway of a modest two-storey house. Dean cuts the engine and turns to Cas. 

The other man is quietly laughing too. He looks quite amused with himself. He is honestly such a dork, Dean thinks.

But then his face turns serious again. “You didn’t answer my question. Do you have a crush on me?” He asks again. 

Dean thinks for a minute, taking in the man sitting in front of him. “Do I have a crush on my best friend, and husband of thirteen years? Yeah, I guess I do.”

Dean gives Cas a teasing smile and leans across the passenger seat to bring his husband into a smiling kiss. 

*  *  *

Later that evening, Dean and Castiel are laying together in their bed. Only a lamp on the nightstand lights the room, letting out a relaxing glow. 

Castiel reaches out to let Dean cuddle up to him. Dean rests his head on Castiel’s chest. He plays with the fingers on Castiel’s left hand. Castiel lets him and goes with the movement when Dean turns his hand over to reveal the small ‘18’ tattooed on the underside of his ring finger. 

They’d met on September 18th in their junior year of high school. From that day, Castiel had been Dean’s first and only crush. 

Castiel and Jimmy had just transferred from their old school. It was some old-fashioned super religious school but some bad shit had gone down and the school had to close. Dean’s school had been the next best thing according to Castiel's overbearing, church-going, Jesus devotee parents. 

Dean and Castiel became inseparable by the time it came for them to graduate. By then, everyone knew they were together but they didn’t care. The honeymoon phase never seemed to end for them. 

For obvious reasons, Castiel’s parents were the only ones who had never found out about their relationship. Given what they thought about anyone who wasn’t straight, the boys thought it was safer to keep it from them. They didn’t know what they might try to do to Castiel if they found out. 

The day after their graduation, Dean had packed up his car and they ran away. They went to college in another state and never looked back. Castiel had left his parents a note explaining everything and telling them not to try and contact him - though Castiel didn’t think they’d want to after they’d found out he was gay. 

Dean’s family knew where they’d gone (they’d always been supportive of their relationship since the beginning). They welcomed Castiel into their family and treated him like their own. They’d visit the boys for the holidays and eventually, once Dean’s brother, Sam, finished high school, they all moved to be closer to their boys. 

Castiel had felt guilty for years for leaving his brother but in their second year of college, Jimmy tracked Castiel down and told him he’d left too. (Turns out he’d got his high school girlfriend, Amelia, pregnant and their parents didn’t take kindly to it happening out of wedlock.) 

Dean and Castiel got married while they were still in college. Most people would warn them against getting married so young but their family knew they weren’t being naive. They were it for each other. 

They had a small ceremony on the anniversary of their first meeting. Sam and Jimmy had been best men and two-year-old Claire was their flower girl. (Despite what her attitude now might make you think, she was an adorable toddler who stole the show with her adorable presence.) 

Over the years, they’d kept their marriage on the down low. Castiel was a little paranoid that his parents would somehow find them and try to take him away from Dean and their family. They had a lot of connections and Castiel wouldn’t put it past them to use those connections to find him. 

So, when they both became teachers and ended up working at the same high school, Castiel had asked Dean if he could be called Mr Novak so as not to draw attention to them. (Same sex marriage might be legal now but it would still turn heads to have two husbands teaching at the same school, which was the kind of thing Castiel wanted to avoid.) Dean had agreed, he just wanted his husband to feel safe. They still went home together at the end of the day and that’s all that mattered to him. 

But it is that exact act which has led them to where they are now. 

“Dean,” Castiel speaks into his husband’s hair. “I think it’s time to tell everyone the truth.” 

Dean turns to sit up properly and look at Castiel. 

“Are you sure? We don’t have to. I know you love and I sure as shit love you,” he reassures Cas. “Plus, it’s only your teacher name that’s still ‘Novak’. Legally, you’re a Winchester,” he smiles. 

“I know, but I want to be honest with our coworkers and students too.” Castiel explains. “And maybe I want to show them that you’re not the only one with a crush,” he teases. 

“Awesome.” Dean beams. “We don’t have to make a big deal out of it anyways. We’ll just start wearing our rings tomorrow and they’ll figure it out.” 

Castiel nods in agreement. 

Dean could just burst with happiness. He’d finally be able to show Castiel off like he’s always wanted to. 

Currently, his wedding ring sat against his chest on a silver chain under his shirt. Castiel keeps his safely tucked away, only taking it out for special family occasions (hence why he got the tattoo - as a more subtle and personal token of his love for Dean). Dean couldn’t wait to feel the weight of the ring on his finger every day. And knowing Castiel would be walking around with his matching one makes Dean smile like a love-sick dork.

Suddenly feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve, Dean settles down into the sheets again, eagerly awaiting sleep to take him so it could hurry up and be morning. 

He’s just drifting into sleep when Castiel’s voice whispers against his ear. 

“Dean?”

Dean hums, not mustering the energy to turn over and face his husband. 

“Not that I’m not happy that it gave me the perspective to stop being scared, but where did the rumours of you having a crush on me come from anyway?”

Trust Cas to think of the semantics just as Dean is trying to sleep. 

Dean only has one word. 

“Claire.”

Castiel sighs. “I should have known. I’ll talk to her.”

Dean finally turns to look at Cas in the eyes. Green meets blue. “Don’t sweat it, babe,” he smiles. “She’s just teasing like all teenagers do. She would never actually tell anyone anything we’re not comfortable with.” 

Castiel shrugs and nods his head in silent agreement. 

“I’ll just get her back when we go to your brother’s for dinner on Sunday.” Dean yawns, cheekily. 

Castiel rolls his eyes. The joking rivalry between Dean and their niece never seems to end. 

Dean smirks and leans over to kiss Castiel. “Goodnight, Mr Winchester.”

“Good night, Dean.” 

*  *  *

The next morning, Dean walks into his home room class and begins the regular formalities of the morning. 

Claire walks in late a few minutes later. She says nothing to Dean until she sits down at her desk, puts her feet up on the table, and says in a nonchalant manner, “Nice ring, Mr Winchester.” 

The rest of the class look to Dean’s hand. Sure enough there’s a silver band on his left hand that hadn’t been there the day before. 

“I just saw a matching one on my uncle’s hand when I handed in my history project. Isn’t that a funny coincidence?” She smirks as the rest of the students’ mouths drop open. Dean’s known Claire long enough to know that it’s a smirk of love though. 

The news of his and Castiel’s marriage (and Castiel’s new teacher name) reaches his freshman class by second period. He should have known it wouldn’t take long. 

-

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it Mae! 

If you liked what you saw, REBLOG! and consider reserving a prompt from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ challenge, or just send me your own prompt you’d like me to fill! 

-

TAGS: @eccentriccas @starrynightdeancas @credentiast @imbiowaresbitch @starclaire @cockleslovesdestiel @bend-me-shape-me @destielfactory @dea-stiel @wendeano @wingsandimpalas @aggressivedean @flowersforcas @chill-legilimens @pancakesofthelord @saltnhalo @caslikescoffeeandfreckles @assbuttboyfriends @jhoomwrites @breathingdestiel @simplymisha @thekingslover 

(once again tagging my faves, let me you if you’d like to be removed from future fics - or added if you’re not already there!)

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

Sweet Ride

For Suptober Day 10: Sweet Ride

“Did you see the awesome motorcycle parked in the staff parking lot in front of the astronomy building, the one with the solar system painted on it?” a student asked from the front row of Dean Winchester’s Advanced Mechanical Engineering class.

“Yeah, dude, it’s so fucking lifelike! The details are astounding, I mean the paint job is better than some of the satellite images we have of the planets,” another student replied.

The first student looked at Dean who was pulling up the PowerPoint for the day’s lecture. “Hey, Professor Winchester, it looks like you might not have the sweetest ride on campus anymore.”

Dean looked up and grinned as he thought about his precious car. He owned a 1967 black Chevy Impala and he treated her like the queen she was. “Well, Ms. Adams, I’d have to disagree with you. Ain’t no motorcycle going to be able to compete with my Baby.”

“I don’t know, have you seen this bike? It looks like it was custom built along with the custom paint job. Do you happen to know who it belongs to?” the other student asked.

Dean smirked. “Sorry, Ms. Davis but I don’t. I got here pretty early this morning because of a project I was working on. When I find out, I’ll be sure to let you know.” Dean finished pulling his lecture up before saying, “Alright, guys, hush up and sit your butts in a seat. Time to get started.”

Once Dean’s three morning lectures were over, he packed his bag and headed to his office. He worked on grading his classes’ latest rounds of projects and inputting grades into the computer. He was so caught up in his work, he didn’t realize how late it was until there was a knock on his door.

He looked up and called, “Come in.”

The door swung open and Dean smiled at seeing who was standing in the doorway. “Hey, baby. I lost track of time; Sorry for not meeting you after your lecture.”

Castiel Winchester shook his head as he walked into Dean’s office, shutting the door behind him. He walked right up to his husband and bent over to slide his lips against Dean’s in a short but tender kiss. “It’s ok. I got caught up with a student anyways. Did you still want to take the rest of the day off?”

Dean leaned back in his chair, pulling Cas into his lap. “Of course I do. It’s your birthday and I have every intention of making it the best birthday ever.”

Cas rubbed his nose against Dean’s as he whispered, “That’s code for we’re going home and having awesome sex aren’t we.”

“You know it,” Dean said as he looked lovingly at Cas. He couldn’t help but grin at the man he loved. Cas was not what one would expect when then they thought of a college astronomy professor. The tips of his hair alternated between being dyed blue or green, he had piercings in his ears, and he had tattoos on both arms. Dean was unable to resist running his fingers along the bees and flowers on one arm and the constellations on the other. 

Dean wasn’t the most stereotypical professor either. While he didn’t dye his hair or pierce his ears, he did have a nose piercing and a lip ring. He also had tattoos on both his arms. One was a green dragon wrapping around from his wrist to his shoulder. The other, a bass guitar with the names of his favorite bands on it and musical notes swirling around it. Dean also never wore suits and ties, preferring his jeans, plaid shirts, and leather jacket.

The college Dean and Cas worked for had been hesitant when it first hired them, afraid of how their appearance would affect the fellow staff and students. By the end of their first semester teaching, the college begged them to pick up more classes as there were lines of students wanting to take their classes. They were now going on their tenth year of teaching.

“Dean, where’d you run off to sweetheart?” Cas asked, reaching up to cup his husband’s jaw.

Dean shook his head. “Sorry, baby, got lost in thoughts of you as usual. Happy birthday, Cas. I love you to the moon and back.”

Cas smiled as he leaned forward and kissed Dean. “I love you to the stars and back.”

After they shared a few more kisses, Dean pulled away. “So, I have your gift.”

Cas tilted his head. “I thought you said you didn’t buy me anything.”

Dean smirked. “I didn’t. I made it and painted it myself.” 

Dean loved being a college professor, but he had a few hobbies he was very passionate about just like Cas. Cas was obsessed with bees and gardening meaning their house and yard was an array of color all year round. Meanwhile, Dean worked on cars at his Uncle Bobby’s garage and painted in his freetime. He had actually sold a few of his pieces and sometimes did commissions for close friends and family.

“Is this the project you’ve been working on that’s been making you come into work so early for the past few weeks?” Cas asked with a grin.

“Maybe,” Dean said coyly.

Cas slid from his husband’s lap. “In that case, let’s go see. I already dropped my bag off in my car before I came over. I may have gotten a little distracted by this awesome motorcycle that was sitting in the parking lot. It’s custom built with the most amazing paint job of the planets and the solar system.”

Dean stacked his papers together and slid them in his bag before shutting his computer down. He hefted his bag on his shoulder and grabbed Cas’ hand as they walked out the office. “Sounds like an awesome bike. Whoever owns it is super lucky.”

Cas sighed. “I’d say. I wish I could afford a bike like that. I mean I love my jeep, but you know having a motorcycle has been a dream of mine.”

Dean pecked Cas on the cheek as they walked towards the staff parking lot. “I know baby. Hopefully, you’ll have your own bike someday.”

“It’s ok sweetheart. As long as I have you, that’s all that matters. Now, I thought you were going to show me my gift,” Cas said, confusion evident in his voice.

“I am,” Dean said with a grin.

Cas looked around. They had arrived at the parking lot and there was nothing but the usual cars and trucks. He could make out his Jeep parked next to Dean’s Impala and of course his eyes lingered on the motorcycle he was telling his husband about. Other than the bike, there was nothing out of the ordinary. “I don’t see anything.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand and started walking towards their cars. He came to a stop right in front of the bike. “So, you like this bike, huh? I couldn’t imagine why Mr. Astronomy Geek.”

Cas shoved him lightly in the shoulder. “So, I love looking at the stars. It’s not like you don’t drool over some blueprints and three-D printers.”

“Do you want your present or not?” Dean asked with a laugh.

Cas chuckled. “I’m sorry. Yes, I would.”

Dean stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key ring with two keys hanging from it. He grabbed Cas’ hand and dropped the keys in it. He nodded towards the bike and said, “Happy birthday baby.”

Cas’ eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open in surprise. “Wait, the bike is mine? But how? We can’t afford something like this with the house payment and my jeep payment.”

Dean stuck his finger over Cas’ lips, effectively silencing him. “You can when your awesome husband built and painted it for you. I promised Chuck I’d pick up some extra classes over the summer and asked for an advance on the paychecks. When I explained why, he was happy to do so. She’s all yours Cas.”

Cas threw his arms around Dean’s neck and sealed their lips together. He slipped his tongue inside Dean’s mouth and deepened the kiss. When they finally broke apart, both of them were panting. “Dean, this is the most awesome gift I’ve ever gotten! Thank you so much! I love you!”

“I love you too, Cas. Now we have the sweetest rides on campus although Baby is still better,” Dean said a little defensively.

“I might have to disagree with you on that one, but I’ll admit they are both sweet rides,” Cas said before once more sealing their mouths together. Best birthday ever!

[pennywaltzy]

"We don't trust institutions like that."

So this prompt was picked by @ourunsungheroes42344 for the Summer of 100 Surprise Stories, where I wrote a past Dean/Jo, present Dean/Castiel and Zane/Jo (Eureka, Supernatural) fic. I hope you all enjoy!

My Ex And My Husband And My Ex's Husband And a Cryptid -Jo runs into a familiar face while heading back to Eureka on a road trip honeymoon and gets roped into a hunt.

READ @ AO3 | BUY ME A COFFEE?

“We don't trust institutions like that.”

“Well, to be fair, the people at Area 51 don’t deserve to be trusted. They’re all kind of assholes.”

Jo looked between her ex and her husband. How she had ended up in a diner with Zane and Dean, she had no idea, but Dean was from a time in her life when she did a few things that were questionable. He wasn’t fully classified to know about the things she and Zane were part of now, but Zane had never cared for government classifications, and Dean had never cared for the government. The two of them hit it off great, apparently, while she sat to Zane’s left, nibbling on her thumbnail.

“Gotta ask...there really such things as aliens?”

“If I told you that I’d have to kill you,” Zane said to Dean with a grin as he shook his head.

“Jo Jo,” Dean said.

“I thought I was the only one who called her Jo Jo,” Zane said.

“With her cute face? She screams Jo Jo as a nickname,” Dean said with a grin, pointing at her with a fry. “Have anything that can help with a cryptid problem?”

“I may have a few things in the trunk, but I’ll only share if I’m in on the hunt.” She glanced at her husband, hoping he didn’t suddenly want to see this whole other side of his wife. But Zane was leaning back in the seat, looking at Dean with something resembling awe.

“I’ll wait in the motel room.”

“Great! You can keep my husband company,” Dean said. “He’s…” Dean trailed off then.

“Unusual?”

Dean started slightly as a man in a trenchcoat and pressed blue shirt and black slacks was suddenly next to them. It was a good thing that Jo didn’t startle, but Zane damn near jumped.

“I was trying to be diplomatic, Cas.”

“I am unusual. That’s the diplomatic term. But I think Zane and I will get along just fine.”

“Hey, where I’m from if you aren’t unusual, you don’t belong,” Zane said, sliding out of the seat, then leaning over and kissing Jo. “I’m not going to pretend to know what’s in the trunk, but no explosions, kay?”

“Take all the fun out of my hunt,” she said, giving him a fake pout. He kissed her again and try as she might, she suddenly didn’t care that her ex and his husband and probably the whole damn diner was watching. Kissing Zane was an experience, every time, and she slipped into it as easily as she slipped into her trusty combat boots. When he pulled away, this time the pout was real, but she saw Dean having a similar experience on his face and his husband straightening up.

“So, show me what you got,” he said when Cas and Zane walked away.

---

She was bloody, but none of it was hers. Thank God; she’d been in scrapes before around Zane, had to explain blood and bruises before, but the

amount

of blood? That would have taken some real fancy talking. Hunter Jo was a thing of the past, but she still knew what the hell she was doing. At least she was pretty sure she did if those kids didn’t go looking for more fun in the forest. The old Deputy Lupo may have come into play a bit.

“You’re tiny but I think I have a tank top that’ll fit. Pants, you’re on your own,” Dean said, tossing her an A-line tank.

“Just need a shirt and a shower. It’s mostly in my hair and on my shirt. Thank God Zane and Cas are in our room. Wouldn’t want to surprise them looking like this.”

“Cas has seen worse,” Dean said. “Pulled me out of Hell, so…”

She caught up on the wilder aspects of the last twenty years of Dean’s life while they’d been on the hunt, and considering the fact they’d met over a demonic summoning ritual gone bad by some idiot kids in her group of friends, him being in Hell didn’t surprise her. Sadden her, yeah, but not surprise.

“So he’s a demon summoner?”

“Former angel,” Dean said. “Didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I love Cas. A definite definition of 'soulmate;.”

Despite the blood dripping down her face, she smiled. “That’s kinda cute for you.”

“That’s me. I’m a softie now.”

“And Sam?”

Settled with another hunter, Eileen. Taking a break at the moment because she’s expecting their first kid. But they’re happy. So am I.” He paused. “Are you?”

“All things considered? Yeah. Zane’s the guy for me. He proved it when we reset time.”

“So that’s why some of the stuff you talked about didn’t make sense anymore.”

“Yup. Like the Doctor says, wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. It’s all pretty settled now, for the better. Eureka isn’t a government facility anymore, so...there’s some freedom now. It’s nice.”

“Guess I have to give the rifle back,” he said. “It’s a sweet piece of machinery.”

“Keep it,” she said. “I have two more in more office.”

“Jo, I love you. If we weren’t both happily married I’d sweep you off your feet for that futuristic gun collection of yours.”

“Hey, why don’t you and Cas come up to Eureka with me and Zane? Our honeymoon is just about over, and I swear, you have never had pie as good as the stuff that we can come up with.”

“You’re on.”

[moonflower-31]

A Wish Your Heart Makes - Gabriel x Reader

Warnings: Language, definitely. Mention of sex? For you ace folks. And description of stabing? Its a djinn hunt, so you get the picture.

Character(s): Gabriel, Dean, Castiel, Sam, + alternative versions of all of them. You'll see.

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

~~~~~

"Come on, this is like, the biggest hunt we've been on since... since Amara. We should celebrate." Dean says, grinning widely.

You shook your head and laughed. "I don't know about that. That hunt down in Kentucky was pretty wild." You point out. Sam smirked.

"Really? You think, Zombies, was the biggest hunt? When we just fought like three Djinn?" Sam asks, walking towards the Impala with you and his brother.

You rolled your eyes again. "Wendigo, Samuel. It was a Wendigo, not a zombie. I should know. I was the one who saved your ass." You remind, pointing at Sam with your blade that was dripping with lamb and Djinn blood.

Dean chuckled and clapped his hands. "Oh Sammy, they got a point." He points out, smirking at his brother as he gets into the Impala.

Sam rolled his eyes and got in, ignoring his brother. "Forget it. Let's just go. I'm sure we can celebrate at the bar near the bunker." Sam grumbled, and closed his door.

You laughed and moved to the trunk to put the blade away. You popped the trunk and slid the blade away as you heard a wrustle in the bushes. You immediately grabbed a flashlight and shined it into the woods, finding nothing. You shrug it off as being some strays or wildlife and get back into the car. 

~~~~

"Come on Sam! They've got a two for one deal on whiskey shots! You wanna go?" Dean asks, challenging Sam to some shots.

You snicker as you climb out of the Impala after the brothers. They had been bickering as to who got the last kill on the hunt on the way there, and then you had suggested that they all get a few shots then go home. That's what led to this conversation. 

Sam rolled his eyes. "Come on, Dean. We aren't 27 anymore." He protests, closing the door to the Impala. "But fine. I can drink you under the table. As long as you let Y/N drive us home." Sam says, walking up to the door with Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine. But only this once." He says, pointing at Sam. "If you scratch or even put a single dent in her, you're dead, hear me?" He says, looking at you with dead seriousness in his eyes. You expected nothing less.

"Of course Dean. What? You think I would take this chance to damage her as much as I can without a drunk Dean noticing? Do I look like I wanna get skinned alive?" You reason, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.

Dean ponders this for a moment before he nods. "Fine. Okay. Just don't wait up, alright?" He says, patting Sam's back before racing into the bar with Sam trailing behind him.

You chuckle to yourself as you begin walking towards the door yourself, before you see something move along the side of the bar. You furrow your eyebrows, following the noises as you take out your knife.

One step in front of the other, you make your way towards the side of the bar, trying to see with the limited light of the neon bar signs. You curse your eyes silently, for not being adjusted to the night as you walk slowly forward.

The closer you get, the more uneasy you feel. You feel tempted, to call out for someone to answer, but reconsider. You fish out your phone and dial Dean's number, and hear it ring once, then twice, as you look around. Then you feel your body being shoved against the brick wall of the bar, making you drop your phone.

You cry out in pain as the brick scrapes against your skin and you feel someone touch your temples. You look forward and see a younger Djinn, who smirked at you as the blue light began to emit from your fingers.

"Close your eyes sweet thing~" it warned, as you felt your eyes close unwillingly, and you fell unconscious. 

Suddenly, you open your eyes and jolt up in bed. Your chest heaves with fear. Was... was that a nightmare? That...

Now nothing was coming up. You couldn't recall anything of your dream. Your breathing didn't slow down though.

"Sugar?" You hear. You furrow your eyebrows and look up to see Gabriel, in his red boxers and a white, clean tank top. You blush a bit, and look up at him, and into his eyes. They were full of worry, but still shone their natural whiskey toned wonder.

"You alright? You were screaming in your sleep, cupcake." Gabriel asks, coming over to your side. You rubbed your eyes for a moment, blinking a few times as Gabriel wrapped an arm around you.

What was going on? He never did this. He never even attempted this before. Sure you, had your crush and Sam and Dean teased you about it, but you never told Gabriel how you felt. Why would you? It was a silly, puppy crush. That lasted for around 8 years now. But who's counting?

You furrow your eyebrows for a moment, and look up at him. "What are you doing? You...never hold me like this." You ask. Gabriel looks at you like you just said the weirdest thing in the world.

"Haha, what?" He asks, giving you a questioning look. "Sugar, I hold you every chance I get. So I can feel that sexy body of yours. And keep you as close as I can." He smirked, winking at you. You second guess yourself for a few minutes. Yeah... yeah that was right. You two were together...but why were you in a bed that wasn't in the bunker?

"Where...are we?" You ask. Gabriel chuckled again.

"At home, Sugarplum, where else would we be? I bought this place myself. Of course with your help." He says, as if reminding you. You focus your gaze forward for a moment, and then look back up at Gabriel.

"O...okay... uh... I'm fine... yeah... just a nightmare." You say, looking into his eyes. He smiled, almost in relief. 

"Good. I gotta get to making the apple pie. Dean is going to kill me if I don't make it right." Gabriel smirked and kissed your cheek as he gets up and starts walking out of the room. You stand up in confusion.

"W-why?" You ask, standing up from bed. Gabriel again looks at you.

"The party? Why else? Did you hit your head when you got up last night?" He asks, chuckling a bit as he walked back over and kissed your forehead. "Try to rest a bit, okay Sugar? We'll leave in a couple hours. If we're late again Cassie will shoot me." He chuckled. 

You looked at him in confusion, tilting your head as you pondered what he said. Gabriel then chuckled.

"Hey, you could rival him in cuteness with that head tilt. You could have a whole contest." He insists, smirking before he leaves the room.

You shake your head a bit. This was odd. Everything felt...right. Gabriel was... what you guessed was human. He was your boyfriend.

You look down at your hand and widen your eyes. Scratch that, husband.

You look around the room for a moment, and then down at yourself. You didn't have half the scars you were supposed to have from hunting.

Then.you look up and turn towards your side of the bed, and see a picture frame. You sit down and take it up into your hands. It depicted Dean and Cas, you and Sam, and Gabriel. All in weird Christmas sweaters with a very Hallmark like 'Happy Holidays!' across the bottom.

You smirk a bit. "I must've fought tooth and nail to get Dean into that..." you think for a moment. Then you put the photo down. You smile a bit to yourself before you look next to it, and find a packet of condoms. You widen your eyes and blush brightly. So apparently you two were sexually active. Perfect.

You pick up the condoms and put them in the nightstand drawer, and then promptly close it. You move over to what you guessed was Gabriel's side of the bed and looked to see a pile of candy wrappers on the table. You smirk to yourself, chuckling. You didn't dare open Gabriel's nightstand drawer as you stood up, and walked over to the closet. You opened it and pulled out an outfit you knew you owned. You smiled to yourself. Maybe all of this was right. And you were just imagining things. Yeah. Probably.

~~~

"You lost them?!" Gabriel asks, clutching at his hair. He was pacing the room as the two mutton heads tried to explain where the hell their friend was. 

Dean sighed, rubbing his forehead. "We didn't lose them, they were taken." Dean says, looking up at the two angels that were now in the room.

"How does that make anything better, Dean?" Castiel asks, his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Sam sighed. "It... it doesn't. But at least we know that they didn't just walk off." He adds.

Gabriel was fuming at this point. He growled and turned towards the two. "Yeah, they didn't. They were freaking taken! By father knows what because you two were too drunk off your asses to answer their damn phone call!" Gabriel yelled, growling lowly.

Sam and Dean looked down in shame. They knew it was their fault. If they hadn't been so focused on their drinks and celebrating, they would have heard your phone call and have probably been able to help you. But now you were Chuck knows where and were probably being used as a food source.

Gabriel snarled a bit, beginning to pace through the room. Castiel sighed and tried to get Gabriel to calm down.

"Why are you so mad Gabriel? You don't usually show this much care to anyone. Let alone any human." Dean asks, looking up at Gabriel. Gabriel shoots Dean a glare, as if he should know.

"They're my soulmate, Dean. I told you to keep them safe!" He hollered, his eyes slightly glowing with his grace. Castiel held Gabriel back, to keep him from attacking Dean.

"What? Angels... angels have soulmates?" Sam asks. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Why do you think that the moment I saw them with you that I took such a specific interest in them? Its a feeling. The one, true feeling that I'm allowed to feel. It draws me to them. And I can't feel it right now. So if they're dead? You're both next." Gabriel deadpans.

Castiel sighed. "Gabriel, please, calm down. You can still feel their life force, correct? Their soul is connected to your grace." Castiel asked.

Gabriel sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I can still feel 'em... I just... I can't feel the draw to them. Thats usually how I locate them." He sighed. "They might be warded..." he suggests, running a hand through his hair.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Wow, and thats the second biggest piece of information I've heard all day." He says sarcastically, getting a glare from Gabriel.

Sam sighed, moving back and forth through the bunker. Then it hit him. "Dean, are you sure we got every Djinn last night? They mentioned being a family. That would mean..." he starts, looking at Dean.

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. "You guys were hunting a Djinn and you didn't think to tell me?!" He asks.

Dean sighed. "We didn't think ig was relevant information at the time, okay archdouch?" He asks, grumbling to himself.

Gabriel felt his vessel's blood pressure rising. He couldn't take much more of this. "You listen to me, both of you. Where, the hell, did you two hunt these Djinn? Hm? And where, were they hiding out?" He asks.

Dean looked at Sam and sighed again. "A small town about 3 hours north, and in an abandoned warehouse." Dean answers, looking slowly from Sam to where Gabriel once was, and took a double take when he realized the archangel immediately ran off once he knew what had taken you. 

~~~ 

"Come on, Sugar, we're going to be late!" Gabriel calls from the kitchen. You giggle a bit as you run a hand through your hair, and look yourself over once.

Gabriel's arms wrap around your middle, pulling you against his chest. He kisses your neck playfully, making you squirm and pull away from him.

"Okay okay! Stop it!" You insist. He wiggles his eyebrows at you. "Tease." You add.

Gabriel chuckled. "Come on, Sugarplum. Dean's already gonna shoot me for using Granny's apples instead of the orchard ones he sent me." He says with a laugh as he takes your hand and leads you out of the house and towards a silver car in the driveway. You smile to yourself, laughing a bit as you get in and the first song that comes on the radio was 'Candyman' by Christina Aguilera. 

"Perfect song for you." You tease. Gabfiel lets out a laugh and his hand finds your thigh.

"That, was the old me. Sure, still love sweets, and sex, but only with one sexy person." He purred, booping your nose. You immediately giggle and turn to look out the window.

As Gabriel drives down the road, you begin to see flashes of a world you didn't recognize.

"Where were they?" An echoing voice that sounded like Dean's asks.

A different version of Gabriel lays was looks like you, onto a small couch in a bunker of sorts.

"Warehouse, like you said. The Djinn was a teen. Barely out of it's blue diapers." The other Gabriel says. "But he got to them first. We have to wake them up."

You shook your head as the visions faded. What the hell was that? And what did Gabriel mean by wake you up?

You shook it off, it was probably nothing.

~~~~

"And you're sure this will work?" Gabriel asks, wary of the glass with the 'Dream root' as Dean and Sam called it with bits of his soulmate's hair in it. He turned his nose up at it, groaning at the smell.

Dean sighed. "Yeah. This'll work. It's worked multiple times for us. So yeah. We'll watch your vessel. Just get them to kill themselves in the dream, and then they'll be brought back here, topside." Dean answers. Gabriel exhaled a bit in anger. The mere idea of suggesting that to his soulmate, when their dream could potentially be a good one? What they truly want? He didn't want to take that away, bug he also didn't want them to be taken away from him.

Gabriel nodded in clarification, and sighed, and closed his eyes, taking a large gulp of the drink, and feeling himself get woosy soon after, falling asleep right where he stood, and soon after fell.

~~~~ 

You smile to yourself as you hear the loud noises from inside Dean and Castiel's house. Apparently they were together. Shocker. You climbed out of Gabriel's car and smiled, letting him wrap an arm around you and kiss you softly. You kiss him back, happy for once.

"Oh, I should go say hi to Riot. Ill meet you inside, okay?" You say. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"I swear it's like you like the dog more than actually being here." Gabriel teased. "Go ahead Sugar. I'll be right inside." He says. You smile and kiss his cheek as you head to the side of the house, only to be hugged tightly by...Gabriel?

"Gabriel? I... I just saw you go inside, why-?" You start.

"This isn't real, Y/N. All of this. It isn't real. That me? Isn't real it's all in your head." This Gabriel explained. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Gabe... I don't understand-" you start again.

"You were attacked, alright? By a Djinn. He put you in a dream. Only you can wake yourself up from it. And everyone inside will keep you from doing so." Gabriel warns.

You look at this Gabriel with confusion. "A Djinn? The blue man?" You ask.

Gabriel smiled at your recognition. "Yes! Yes that's exactly what I'm talking about! You need to wake up." He says again.

Yoh shook your head in confusion. "I... I don't... I don't know how..." you ask, looking back up at Gabriel and feeling a strange sense of calm as you looked up at him.

Gabriel sighed and pulled out a knife and handed it to you. "You know how, Sugar. Dean's told you how he did it. Just do it soon. Please. I can't lose you." Gabriel warns. You sigh a bit, and nod to him. You wield the knife in your hand for a moment to plunge it into your stomach, before the other Gabriel started to wrestle with the one you were talking to. You suddenly look up, seeing the other Gabriel and now Dean trying to hold Gabriel away from you.

"Gabe? D...dean?" You ask, taking a step back.

The other Gabriel looks up at you and smiled. "You can stay here, Y/N. You can stay here and be with me. Have kids, get a normal job, get a dog. Maybe a Corgi. You don't have to go back. It's full of suffering. You know that." The other Gabriel says, walking towards you as Dean wrestles the real Gabriel to the ground.

"D-don't listen to them Y/N! Do it!" The real Gabriel cries out, grunting as Dean holds him down.

You furrow your eyebrows as you think, the other Gabriel not giving you time to do so.

"You don't have to go back to pining over this asshat. You can stay here, with me, and we can be together. Like you want. You don't need that. Why don't you give me the knife, and this can all be over." The other Gabriel says, nodding to you in a way the real Gabriel wouldn't.  You instantly furrow your eyebrows farther, taking a step back.

"No-" The real Gabriel starts. "T-this... this isn't real, but y-your feelings are... please, listen to me Sugar..." he starts.

You bite your bottom lip, debating your choice of words. "Are they? Really? Or has this Djinn made those up? Make me believe you'll never really love me back-" you start.

The real Gabriel breaks free for a moment. "They are real, Y/N. I love you. I really do. Alright?" He says, Dean grabbing his arms again.

You widen your eyes for a moment, and look down at thw blade in your hands.

"He doesn't mean what he says. But I mean what I do. You don't have to go back. There's nothing worth going back for." The other Gabriel says, walking forward.

You clench the knife's handle in your hand for a moment, stealing a glance the real Gabriel's way before saying, "Yeah, yeah actually, there is." You say, plunging the knife deep into your chest.

~~~~

You wake up with a jolt, finding yourself in the bunker, and on an old couch. You felt drained, and exhausted. You looked down, not seeing a stab wound. You sighed in relief, and looked up, seeing Sam and Dean who soon came in closer and hugged you tightly.

"Oof... what warranted this? Is it national Winchester hug day and I slept through it?" You tease weakly. You laugh a bit and look over to see Gabriel slowly getting up. You smile a bit at him, although weak.

"Definitely." Gabriel says, smiling at you as he stands up and walks over to you, pulling you into his arms.

You widen your eyes again for a moment, before you leaned into his embrace. It felt right.

"Just, just rest, okay Sugar? They're will be plenty of time to hunt down more monsters tomorrow..." Gabriel says, rubbing your back. "I love you..." he whispers. 

You sigh to yourself, but you give in, and you fall asleep in his arms.

Was the life perfect? Hell no. But was it was good enough. Especially when being carried. But you loved it. And you loved him. And something, deep down inside you, believed he loved you the same.

Perhaps you were right.

[deans-baby-momma]

Seeking Mercy-Chapter 2

Back at the Snack and Shack motel/diner, Sam and Mary sit at the tiny round table in room 14 reading police reports and witness accounts while Dean lounges on one of the beds, playing on his phone. 

“Did you think our friendly sheriff was being weird?”

“You caught that too huh?” Dean answers his brother, taking his eyes off his phone to look at the younger man. “She seemed….out of sorts. Like, she has always wanted to meet Mom? We just got Mom back ourselves, so how the hell has Donna ‘always’ wanted to meet her?”

“Maybe she meant, if I hadn’t been killed by Azazel,” Mary suggested, looking between her two sons. “You said you all had gotten pretty close since she was brought into the hunting life, maybe she just meant she’d always wondered what I’d be like.”

With a shrug Mary went back to reading the tome in front of her. Dean and Sam looked at one another, silently questioning if that could be a possibility.

“She acted like she was surprised to see us, though,” Sam brought up. “Like she hadn’t called us to help with this case. I don’t know, things just aren’t adding up.”

An hour passed before they decided it would be best to go and interview the witnesses and get their own recollection of events.

Putting the kids’ down for the night went a whole hell of a lot easier with two people working together than it had been for the past nights. It was a nice change to be able to get Kash to sleep while Adalyn’s dad was getting her bedded down.

I couldn’t wait to join my husband in the bed, even if it was just to cuddle and let him tell me about the case he had been away on. That’s how most of our nights went anyway; after getting the kids bathed and in bed, we would lay together and he would tell me about whatever case he was working on. 

It made me both miss work and glad I could be a stay-at-home mom now. Resigning from Sheriff had been a no-brainer with just one look as Ada’s perfect face. Putting myself in harm’s way was just nutty when I had her to come home to. 

He walks into the bedroom and I watch from my perch at the head of the bed as he goes about disrobing and walking into the ensuite in nothing but a tight pair of blue boxer briefs. I listen as the sink comes on and I can hear him brushing his teeth before the water turns off and he comes back into the room, wiping his mouth on a towel.

“Now that is a sight for sore eyes,” he says as he sees me sitting in bed. I’m wearing nothing special, just an old police academy tee-shirt that has been washed too many times and a pair of sleep shorts. But the way he looks at me makes me feel beautiful; scars and the extra weight from carrying his children be damned.

He quickly joins me in bed, climbing in on his side and immediately takes me into his arms. “Damn, D! I hate being away from you but I love coming home to you.”

“I missed you too, Dean.”

He quickly captures my lips in a kiss and in no time, he is buried deep in the familiar and well-known territory that is his. 

After a rigorous performance we both drift off to sleep, exhausted but satiated. 

“He was just different,” the wife of the third victim says, while dabbing at her eyes. “He wanted things that we never even discussed before.”

“What type of things?” Sam asks, gently as to coax the answers from the distressed girl. 

“Well,” Mrs. Halford, Kimberly, answers. “He didn’t want me anymore,-” her sentence ends in a sob as she grabbed another handful of tissues that Mary offered. “-He was more interested in our downstairs neighbor, Keith.”

“Where is your husband now?” Dean speaks up. This case is just weird and all the cases just result in loose ends.

Kimberly just shrugs and looks out the window. “If I had to guess, he is with Keith.”

“Ma’am, I hate to ask this but,” Dean says, then clears his throat. “Is your husband bisexual?”

“No, not at all. He has always been 100% a man’s man. Chasing after women; well until he caught me, anyway.”

As Sam, Dean and Mary head toward the Impala they discuss the case. 

“So victim #1. Jenny Ventreler. She disappears for a week, comes back only to pack up and leave for the big times according to her mom. Victim #2 George Casseni is missing for a week and comes back to show up for work at a place he has never held a job at before. And now, Kevin Carr is gone for a week and comes back gay? What the fuck is going on here?”

Neither of the three Winchesters have any explanation for any of it; they just look at each other dumbstruck. 

“Let’s get a bite to eat and then hit the books again, I guess.”

“Do you always have food on your mind?”

“Dude, I’m starving! It’s been hours since breakfast.”

“You’re always starving!”

“Shut up bitch!”

“Jerk!”

“Boys! Both of you shut up. Get your asses in the car,” Mary states. “Dean, we will get food to go.”

Back in the motel room, once again Sam and Mary are studying the lore and comparing the witnesses accounts while Dean finishes up his pie and is texting on his phone.

“Guys, look! Mavelin let Y/N pull her hair up into pigtails.” Dean turns the phone toward his family who awws at the picture on the screen; his little girl with two tiny hair bows holding up what little bit of hair she has. He texts his wife back as his brother and mother continue working the case. 

“Guys,” Sam speaks up as he picks up a book. “Did you know that djinn have a cousin?”

“Oh great. Those bastards!” Dean answers with an eyeroll,  but his interest is piqued.

“Yea, according to this, a ‘Fgovalen’ is a distant cousin of djinn. They have almost the same characteristics of djinn except they don’t bleed their victims dry. They put them in a dream-induced coma and feed off of them until they get recharged and then let the victim go.”  Sam quietly reads more of the  mythology of the creatures before he stops and slams the open book onto the table. “Look, they usually drink off the victims for a week. The same amount of time all the people here were missing! I think we are dealing with a ‘Fgovalen’.”

Dean joins his mom and brother at the table and they all delve into the legends of ‘Fgovalen’.

BACK AT THE BUNKER

Caring for a baby who is tired and sleepy but doesn’t want to go to sleep and whines is exhausting! Mavelin struggles around, crying and fussing while I try to rock her to sleep, humming all the songs I can think of; even the ones I know for certain usually puts her out like a light. But this morning, she is fighting it. 

When she finally succumbs, I hold her close and continue rocking her to make sure she is out. I have something important I need to do and I want to do it while I have time to prepare for what I know I am going to find out.

Once Mav is bedded down in her crib, I grab the monitor and head out of the room, shutting the door softly. I head to the bathroom, taking some deep and calming breaths knowing that in less than 15 minutes my life could change drastically.

Opening the cabinet door, I reach into the very back where I know I had hidden the extra pregnancy test from before. Wrapping my hand around the box, I pull it out and stare at it. 

How is this my life? I am married to the best man on Earth, we have the most gorgeous little girl and I am pregnant again with a baby that might belong to his brother! How the hell did I get here?

Tearing open the box, the test stick slides out into my palm. I approach the toilet and pull my pants down, sitting wide-legged over the opening. At first nothing will even come out, not even a trickle. Concentrating on nothing else, I will myself to pee.

Finally, a stream begins and I slip the test end of the stick in it. As soon as it’s done I re-cap the test, place it on the counter and sit the timer on my phone. In less than 5 minutes, I’m either fucked or not. 

‘A watched pot never boils.’ That old adage keeps running through my head as I watch the time on my phone count down. How the fuck has it only been two minutes when it feels like I’ve been in here a lifetime already.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” The loud alarm sounds and I quickly shut it off. It’s now or never. Am I going to find out I’m carrying another baby or is my womb still empty? And if I am, how can I know who the father is? Yes, both Adam and Dean are possibilities. I have slept with them both numerous times since Cas healed Dean. He could very well have impregnated me as much as Adam could have. How the hell would I ever find out? Is there a way to find out?

I flip the test over, and the answer slaps me right in the face. Two blue lines. I’m pregnant again! There is a human growing inside me and I am not 100% who the father is. Fuck my life!

A pregnancy usually means celebrations and joy. When most women find that they are pregnant, they are ecstatic and can’t wait to tell the father. And that’s how it was with Mavelin. When I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I was so happy and I knew Dean would be too. I had even planned out a way to announce it to him. But with this one, I wanted to hide it away and forget about it. But I also knew that wasn’t possible. I had to face this head-on. 

With Dean being away on a hunt, there was only one other person I could hopefully talk to about this. Adam. After sitting on the end of mine and Dean’s bed, gathering my thoughts, I head to the kitchen where I know Adam is.

“Adam,” I say to get his attention. “Can we talk?”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​​ @squirrelnotsam​​ @sandlee44​​  @internationalmusicteacher​​ @kricketc29​ @natura1phenomenon​​ @blacktithe7​​ @spnbaby-67​​ @travelingriversideblues-x​​  @keymology​​ @tftumblin​​ @markofdean79​​ @thevelvetseries​​ @deanwanddamons​​ @winchester-fantasies​ @akshi8278​ @michellethetvaddict​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid​ @hoboal87​ @atc74​ @maddiepants​ @delightfullykrispypeach​

[schrijverr]

B for Chemistry, now live

Forgetting Dean was live early this week, Claire barges in to share the good news about her recent grade.

This is part of the Famous Husband verse, which is also a series.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed something or you want me to tag something, cause I’ll happily do it without question!

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been going well for a while now, a few weeks actually. Claire was feeling a bit guilty about lying about her parents to her friends and she was toying with the idea of telling them. She had talked about it with Pops and Papa and they were chill with it, so now it was more waiting for a good moment to bring it up.

The moment came a few days later. Claire knew Pops had uploaded the burger video with Papa yesterday and she was talking with Rey and Mary about it during the break. Then it turned to theories. Rey said: “We’re not touching them with a ten feet pole on our insta anymore.”

“Yeah, we learned our lesson.” Mary agreed.

“Exactly, but it is quite curious what people have been saying.” Rey said.

“What have they been saying then?” Claire asked, never having pretended she was a hardcore fan, but a willing listener.

Rey answered: “Well, the videos have had some weird cuts since the documentary and Dean stopped himself from saying some stuff during the live streams. So, there are a few theories he’s hiding something.”

“Hiding what?” Claire asked, raised brow.

“That he has a kid.” Mary said.

Claire chocked on her lunch and there was a bit of chaos as she coughed, trying not to die. When everything had settled down, Mary asked: “Are you alright?”

Claire nodded after which Rey asked: “What was that all about?”

Deciding that something better than this wasn’t going to come, Claire answered: “They’re right.”

“What?” the two others said.

“The theorists.” Claire expanded, “They’re right about the kid.”

“And how would you know that?” Rey asked, not sure why Claire would be saying that.

“Cause I’m the kid.” Claire shrugged.

It was silent for a moment, as Mary and Rey processed the new information with open mouths. Then they both exclaimed different things. Mary yelled: “Are you serious?” and Rey: “What! Are you fucking joking? That’s not funny, Claire!”

“I’m not joking.” Claire said, raising her hands in innocence, “At first we weren’t sure if it was going to work and stuff and Pops, uhm, Dean didn’t want to give me the feeling he only took me in for the views, so we just shut up about it. I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how.”

“You aren’t joking?” Rey asked with wide eyes.

Claire smirked and shook her head: “I’m not, you can come over after school if you want to. I’ve been dying to show you my room, I got a big bed and everything. It’s amazing.”

“Oh my gosh, you are completely serious.” Rey said, sharing a look with Mary filled with disbelief and excitement.

Then Marys face fell and embarrassed she said: “Oh no, we’ve been talking with you about your dad the entire time, that must be so shit, I’m so sorry.”

Rey also blushed in embarrassment and Claire reassured the two: “I didn’t mind, it was pretty funny and at first also comforting that he didn’t seem a complete asshole from your perspectives, about Cas too.”

The two groaned again when Cas was mentioned, they had talked quite a lot about their favorite teacher/husband of their idol.

Claire laughed at them and said: “It’s okay, really.”

The bell rung and they all had different lessons. Claire stood up and told them to just come over that afternoon, before she walked off.

That afternoon the three got off at Claire stop and she walked over to her house. The Impala stood in the garage, so they couldn’t tell from that. Mary and Rey were still on the fence about the whole thing, but when Claire had opened the door they heard a very familiar voice yell: “Claire, that you?”

Claire yelled back: “Yeah, it’s me. I brought friends.”

There were footsteps on the stairs and in the hall arrived Dean, it was really him. Seeing that her two friends were speechless, she said: “This is Rey and that’s Mary. You know them right?”

Dean grinned at the two and stuck out his hand: “I heard a lot about you two, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Dean.”

Still speechless Mary shook his hand, but Rey had regained speech a bit and said: “Same, uhm, hi. I’m Rey.”

Claire laughed at her friend and Rey snapped right out of it and shoved her with a: “Shove off, Claire.”

Claire just stuck out her tongue at her friend, before pushing past Dean into the kitchen while asking what the other two wanted to drink. Dean stuck his head around the corner and said: “Do you need anything or can I go back upstairs. I was in the middle of editing when you came in.”

“Oh, no, you can go back to work.” Claire said after she’d thrown a look over her shoulder.

“Okay,” Dean said, then he asked: “Your day good?”

Claire nodded: “Yeah, just the usual. Mr. Delaneys class was pretty boring though, he spend fifteen minutes talking about his fishing trip.”

“Ugh, that is boring.” Dean agreed, then he bid his goodbye and left Claire with her friends, glad that she made them and was comfortable enough to bring them back home.

That was now a few weeks ago already and everything had still been going well Dean hadn’t slipped up during his live streams yet and all the videos were triple checked before they went up on the channel. And he had even managed to make two videos with Cas without giving it away.

And Cas hadn’t mentioned suddenly being a father in his classroom either.

So yeah, it had been going well.

But knowing the Novak-Winchesters that had to come to an end sooner rather than later.

It was ten weeks after Claire had moved in that it happened. Dean was doing his live stream on a Friday this week, since they’d planned to go on a family trip that weekend and he didn’t want to be working on it.

He had told Cas and Claire that, this morning and Cas was dutifully in the kitchen leaving his husband on his own. Although he had appeared on the channel multiple times now, he was still rather self conscious and he wanted to be able to review his words later and have a say in what went online about him, so he hadn’t joined in on a live stream yet.

Claire, however, had completely forgotten. She was home a little later that day, since she’d gone out with her friends for a milkshake and since this morning to celebrate. Claire had never been good at Chemistry, but she had studied very hard and gotten a B on her last test. So after the milkshake she had rushed home to tell her Pops and Papa.

She slammed open the door, startling Cas and Dean. She had heard Deans voice from the living room and assumed he was in there talking to Cas, so unthinkingly she barged in and yelled: “Pops! I got a B for Chemistry.”, while she ran and jumped on the couch to give him a hug.

Dean caught her, letting the laptop drop from his lap. Before the two had recovered Cas was already running through the hall, calling out: “Claire, wait! He’s doing a live stream!”

But he was too late.

When the words registered Claire jumped back with an apology and just looked at Dean with big eyes, which he returned. Cas had now appeared in the doorway and he asked: “Is it salvageable?”

Dean leaned over his fallen laptop and read out loud: “‘What happened?’ ‘Is that a girl? Is he cheating?’ ‘Did she call him Pops?’ ‘Was she talking about Chemistry?’ And it goes on and on.”, he looked over at Cas and shook his head, “You can fill in the rest.”

They both looked at Claire, who was biting her lip as she thought about what to do.

Dean was about to stop the stream when Claire surprised everyone, including herself, by saying: “Wait!”, she went on, “It’s okay, it’s my fault anyway. Besides I read everything about when Cas did this, I think I hate the thought of the theories more, you know?”

“Uh, okay,” Dean stammered, “Uhm, wanna come over here then?”

Claire got up as Dean picked up the laptop and told the viewers: “Like I said with Cas, this was a mess-up, not a promise and not a reason to pry, okay? Be nice everyone.”

Then Claire sat down next to him and waved, not really smiling, but doing that awkward lip thing. She said: “Uhm, hi everyone. I’m Claire, uh, Cas was my dads cousin and they found me and took me in.”

“And we couldn’t be more proud of her.” Dean smiled.

Claire shoved him lightly and said: “Don’t be sappy, old man.”

Dean rolled his eyes an replied: “I’m not old, I’m 28.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Claire said, but she smiled as well. Then she glanced at the screen and involuntarily commented: “Jikes.”

Instantly Dean got serious as he looked at the comments and asked: “What is it? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Claire assured him, “I just read: Dean is really Daddy now. And I suddenly felt the need to barf.”

Dean cringed and agreed: “Yeah that’s pretty bad.”

Cas also appeared in the background to read along on the screen, he pulled a few faces at the dirtier comments, but concluded that over all it could’ve been much worse. While he was reading them, Dean and Claire were still talking.

“So, a B for Chemistry.” Dean said, “That’s amazing! I know you worked hard on that. Well done.”

Claire smiled and thanked him.

Dean went on: “We are celebrating this tonight, yeah. What do you say, movies and ice cream?”

Claire smirked: “Heck yeah.”

The Dean turned to the chat, before turning back to Claire and asking: “Is it okay, if I say a few things about you?”

“Yeah, sure, go for it.” Claire shrugged.

“Wanna be here for it?” he asked.

Claire shrugged again, before answering: “Not particularly, no. Just tell them not to go digging or something that’s just creepy.”

“Of course.” Dean said, then he turned to the camera and said: “I’m serious everyone. One) she’s a minor, two) it’s basic fucking human decency, three) I will take legal action against you, no this is not a joke.”

After that Claire waved again, before leaving, but she did stay to watch, just from the other side of the lens.

Dean turned to Cas and asked: “Do you want to stay or not, angel?”

Cas looked at Claire, who nodded, then replied: “Yes, I will. Thank you, Dean.”

“Okay, lets start.” Dean said as he clapped his hands, “Firstly, sorry, but this has to be done, but I’m not risking it, so I’m just going to say this all again. I want you all out of her private life okay. Don’t go looking for her on social media, don’t Google her, just don’t, okay. Secondly, this isn’t going to be a regular thing. I’ve said it before, but I’m not here to make money of children, okay. You all weren’t even supposed to know and this is again nothing against you, but people deserve their privacy and with an online community like this I simply cannot guarantee that.”

He saw a few comments and said: “No, it’s not like Cas. He had thought about it after and just wanted the guessing and digging to end. The fact that he’s on my channel from time to time is not the same. Stop it or I will not proceed.”

Claire was feeling pretty guilty about the whole thing. If she’d just thought for a moment, before barging in this whole thing wouldn’t have happened and Pops could’ve just be having fun with his subscribers.

Castiel noticed her look and cocked his head in the questioning manner that had become so familiar to her. She waved it away and scribbled down on a post it note: Later. And showed it to him.

Dean was meanwhile continuing: “Now that I’ve said that, I can tell you all some more fun stuff. Me and Cas got ourself a real talented lady. She’s been living here for ten weeks now, which was why I took the break if you guys remember that. Anyway, she is really smart and funny, but don’t tell her I said that or she’ll get an ego.” Dean grinned at the last part, fully knowing that Claire was right there.

Cas piped in: “She really is. It’s amazing to see how well she fits into our little family here. It probably wasn’t easy for her to suddenly uproot her life and come here to live with us, but we’re grateful every day that she did.”

“Jup.’ Dean agreed, “It is great to see. Is there anything else except that, Cas? Don’t go looking for her and she’s epic and we love her and are proud of her.”

“I think that captures it quite well.” Cas smiled, then the smile dropped and he said: “Wait, for the kids at school. No drama about it, okay.”

“Good one, huggy-bear.” Dean said, “That was all then. Sorry that we have to cut this short, but I’m sure all of you will understand why. For those of you all that missed it, there won’t be a stream this Sunday, but the videos will continue on schedule.”

He ended the live stream and immediately rushed to Claires side and asked: “Are you okay? Do you need something? That was quite something, so suddenly.”

Claire shook her head and waved his concern away. She said: “It’s okay, really. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Dean pressed her again.

She blushed and said: “Yeah, I kind of like it. Just knowing that this is real and having other people confirm it or something, if that makes sense?”

Cas and Dean smiled back and hugged her. Dean gave her a kiss on the head and murmured: “Makes perfect sense, sweetheart.”

After they’d sat there for a while, Claire checked her phone. She had heard it buzzing, but hadn’t been in the mood to see. Ignoring most messages, she opened the groups chat with Rey and Mary, who had been yelling at her.

The two had lessened the Dean talk, to make Claire less uncomfortable and had decided that tey could watch the stream later when they went out with Claire for milkshakes. They’d assumed she knew, but when they’d gotten back to catch the last part they had been startled to see her and were texting her to check up on her.

Claire appreciated it and assured them that she was okay, for now. She was packing the last of her stuff and decided to turn her phone off that weekend. She let Rey and Marty know, before turning the device off and chucking it in her bag, just in case.

Meanwhile, downstairs Dean was pacing as he worried. Cas watched him for a while, but he couldn’t take it and stopped him. He said: “It’s going to be alright, Dean.”

Dean gave him a look and replied: “We don’t know that, Cas. Everything could go wrong and terrible and she could hate us.”

“She won’t.”

“She might.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see, because we can’t look into the future. Lets just focus on here, we’re going to do something fun, don’t let later ruin that for you.” Cas told him, ever so wise.

Later, he thought. Dean could do later.

Yes, later he would check up on what everyone was saying, even make good on some of the threats he had made, but for now he was too busy loving his little girl. He was busy celebrating her win over Chemistry and then he was busy making sure she had the best first family weekend she’d had in years.

Yeah, he had more important things to worry about than some people on the Internet, especially when he now had a picture of Cas and Claire leaning against each other in the back of his baby, both fast asleep.

[zacharyleigh316]

It’s a Nice Day for a [Gay] Wedding

It’s a Nice Day for a White Gay Wedding | Supernatural Destiel AU ficlet | 1,925 Word Count | Read on Ao3

Happy Pride everyone! There’s actually another fic I’m currently working on for pride, but I was in the mood for some domestic gay marriage fluff, so I wrote up this quick little ficlet before the month of June is over, as I’m unsure when the other one will be finished/posted. Comment/Like/Reblog as you like, I’d appreciate some good vibes sent my way! (And yes, if you couldn’t tell from the title, this fic is inspired by the Billy Idol song White Wedding)

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Dean worried at the chapped skin on his bottom lip with his teeth, and when it split open, he swiped his tongue across it quickly, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth, and sticking to the back of his front teeth.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, the image was distorted, the panic messy to pinpoint. His state of duress abetted in his current appearance, which less than satisfactory in his opinion. His suit suddenly felt very tight, his tie was definitely crooked, and someone must have turned up the heat—it had to be the only explanation as Dean was sweating profusely—just to name a few of the many things going absolutely wrong.

“I can’t go out there looking like this! People would think I look like a freaking homeless person.”

“People aren’t going to think that, Dean, because you look fine.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Which hasn’t changed the last time I said it. Not that I haven’t been saying the exact same thing for an hour now, because I have.”

Dean’s little brother raised a brow, and Dean couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous at his cool head, the clear mind Sam seemed to always have, even when the potential for everything to go wrong was very high. And it was very high, because nothing was ever good for Dean.

The older Winchester had the worst of luck, so this? This was too good to be true. He could hear the elated chatter just outside the room he was being hosted in, which only served to make him more nervous. That many people bearing witness to the miracle, or the enormous disaster this could turn out to be, because why wouldn’t it for Dean?

Sam sighed, and stood behind his big brother, clapping both hands on the shoulders of Dean’s suit.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what? I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to, Dean. You’re my brother. You honestly don’t think I know you by now? You were making that face again.” Dean furrowed his brow, but let Sam continue.

“You know, that face that means you’re trying to pinpoint anything that could be slightly off so you have an excuse to not do something, because you think it’ll go horribly wrong. God forbid anything good happen to Dean Winchester.” Caught!

Dean’s answering silence was enough for Sam to confirm he was right, which he usually is, the bastard, but it also helps Dean have a sound voice of reason, which he’s reminded more often than not he needs just as much as oxygen and water, probably—since his own was apparently so fucked up and incredibly bias; worn down by years of emotional abuse and self loathing.

Sam sighed, this one laced with exasperation, and Dean feels guilty that he was the one who put it there.

“Dean, how many times do we all have to remind you that your an awesome guy? An amazing person who deserves everything good for once? Dad shouldn’t have been so hard on us, you shouldn’t have had to raise me...there’s a lot that I wish I could change, Dean. But you matter to me, to all those people out there who are here for you. You matter to Cas. And you deserve him, just as he deserves you.

“You’re a fantasitc brother, you stepped up and became a better dad, and I know more than anything, Dean, you’ll be just as great a husband. The past will always be there, but it doesn’t mean it has to dictate our futures. You taught me that. That we make our own choices. This one is meant to make you happy, and it’s okay to be nervous.”

“Yeah, Sam, I get that, but what if I go out there and Cas suddenly doesn’t want to marry me anymore? He realizes that he doesn’t want to be saddled down with a mess...with-with a loser, with me. That he remembers how perfect he is, and how perfect I’m not, and then cancels the wedding right then and there.” Dean clenched his eyes shut tightly, and his fists and jaw followed suit, his head angled down to the floor.

He couldn’t do this. It would hurt him more to get out there and see the disscontempt for him in Castiel’s beautiful, blue eyes than it would to just run now and escape the imminent catastrophe that would be this wedding. His suit didn’t fit, he was convinced his tie was definitely not straight—the joke there wasn’t as funny as it should have been, and Dean detested it—his hair was mussed from the many times he ran his hands through it, and Castiel would notice his disheveled state the moment he walked down the aisle, and use it as further proof why he was way out Dean’s league, and Dean could never live up to the title: husband.

As much as Dean wanted it, and god did he want it, marriage wasn’t for him, it couldn’t be; Cas could do so much better than him, deserved better than him.

“I would never do that.”

Dean eyes snapped open, and he let out a gasp, whipping himself around so quickly that he almost fell over and made a fool of himself in front of one of the most important, if not the most important, persons in his life.

His brother let out a breath of relief, and smiled at Cas gratefully.

“Cas what are you...what you doing here?”

“Reassuring my anxiety ridden fiancé that I love him more than anything in the whole world, and reminding him that even though his worries are valid, they’re foolish, and untrue. You’re gorgeous, Dean.” Cas smiled softly, stepping forward, and took Dean’s face in his hands.

Tears were both in their eyes, and the slight tremor in Cas’ hand lent Dean the knowledge he was probably really nervous as well, and wanted to see Dean to reassure himself. At that, he couldn’t help but grin down at his soon to be husband, his Cas, and Castiel mirrored the expression.

“You are the most amazing person I have ever met, Dean Winchester, so don’t you doubt that for a second.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him.” Sam huffed, sending one of his patented bitchfaces over to his big brother, the one said ‘I told you so’, in not as many words.

“I wouldn’t want to marry anybody else,” Cas added, nodding at Sam with another soft smile.

When he looked back at Dean, the depth in those ocean eyes almost took his breath away, and his lips parted in a silent gasp.

“I love you, and not even a slightly askew tie would change that.”

Dean chuckled, and wiped away his, albeit very manly, tears, quickly before they could stain his cheeks.

“See, Sammy, I told you. I knew something was off.”

“Yeah, only because you kept fiddling with it.” Sam rolled his eyes.

Castiel smoothed his hands down Dean’s lapels, and fixed his tie, the hands of his fiancé on him, soothing him more than he’d like to admit. He reached up and fixed Dean’s hair as well, his hand falling to his cheek when he was done.

Dean leaned into Cas’ hand, and closed his eyes, using the touch as a means to ground himself, every worry washing away; down and off his shoulders.

“I love you.”

Their foreheads met, words of endearment whispered between one another.

“I love you too, Cas.”

They kiss, and when Dean is ready, they pull away. He takes a deep breath, hands reaching out to take a hold of Cas’ hands, and gave them a squeeze. Cas squeezes back.

“As nice as this is,” Sam butted in, “how about you do this out there, and you know, get married?”

“I like that idea very much, actually.” Cas chuckled, and raised a questioning brow at Dean, who nods, and grins back at his query.

“Yeah, I...I think I’m ready to finally make you Castiel Winchester, Cas.”

“Finally.”

They all laugh at Sam’s insistence, and the music filters down the hallway and through the door, signaling the trio that ceremony has started.

Castiel squeezes Dean’s hands once more, stealing his attention away from the door. When green meets blue, he smiles, and Dean’s never been more sure of anything.

“Let’s walk down the aisle together, Dean. I couldn’t think of any giving away more fitting than that.”

“Hell yeah. Let’s do it.” The resulting beam from Castiel is enough to make Dean swoon, and fall in love all over again.

Sam grins, and opens the door to meet the rest of the wedding party down the hall.

Gabriel and Sam take each other’s arms, as do Charlie and Meg, and the grooms stop right at the entrance together, hand in hand, waiting for their best men and women to walk down to their own places at the alter. The guests stand for them, when it’s their turn, clapping and crying, and Dean couldn’t even believe he thought it would be anything less than perfect.

Because as he and Cas make their way down to the aisle, side by side as promised, as he and Cas take each other’s hands and recite their vows, as he and Cas seal their union with a kiss, and another, and another and...

As he and Cas are declared husbands by the officiator that’s exactly what it is. Perfect.

Dean chuckles to himself later, during their first dance as a couple, and Cas looks at him with a smile, blue eyes sparkling.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing really. Just that...I don’t think I’ve ever been gay a wedding before.”

Dean grins when Cas throws his head back in a beautiful burst of laughter.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you love me. Husband.”

“I do. Husband.”

They’re silent for a moment before the both of them are reduced to giggles.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a gay wedding either.” Cas says through his fit.

“Well, that’s changed now, I suppose.”

“Yeah, guess so, huh Cas?”

They stare at each other for a moment, all fond looks and gooey smiles, before their lips meet, and Dean Winchester finds that he is finally ready to accept that good things can, and will, happen to him.

When they pull away, Dean looks over to his family, their family, and grins at their support.

Charlie gives him a thumbs up, and Gabriel winks suggestively at the both of them, to which Dean rolls his eyes at. Meg congratulates ‘Clarence’ when they leave the dance floor, and Sam immediately wraps his arms around his brother, and then follows it up with a hug for his brother-in-law. Bobby tries to hide the fact he was crying, which Ellen resolutely teases him for, and Jo make fun of Dean for no longer being a bachelor. Balthazar drunkenly whisks Cas away to the dance floor sometime during the night, and Jody and Donna stay by the buffet table, though not after giving the married couple their love.

All in all, it was an awesome night, just like everybody assured Dean it would be. (Especially with people as awesome as these guys by his side).

‘Hey little sister...’

‘What have you done...’

“Hey little sister...’

‘Who’s the only one...’

‘It’s a nice day to...’

‘Start again...’

‘It’s nice day for a...’

‘White Wedding...’

‘It’s a nice day to...’

‘Start again...’

Yeah, it was wasn’t it?

[themoonandotherslikeit]

What the Rain Can’t Wash Away - Epilogue

*FINAL PART TO THE LOOK IN HER EYES SERIES*

Sixteen years after Lucifer rose, and Dean lost his wife he finds himself with a teenager, a Nephilim, an angel, and his brother living out a Full House rerun with some seriously dark undertones. How will he be able to raise his daughter, fight monsters, and deal with the loss of the love of his life? Sometimes moving on is the hardest part, but with the Winchester’s there’s always something harder around the corner. Isn’t there?

"No doubt.. Endings are hard, but then again.. nothing ever really ends, does it??"

Seven Months Later

Dean

The bar was busy, bustling. Sometimes it was hard to keep track of everything, but I was starting to get the hang of it. Deep breaths, focus on a specific sound, and block out the rest. It wasn’t always easy, but it was damn effective. 

Things were calm, for once in my life. It still felt wrong, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop-- jokes on me, though, because it already did. Sometimes there just isn’t another shoe. Most people have only two feet, and I’ve had about a million fall on my head throughout the years. Maybe it is really over, at least that’s what Ave keeps saying. 

“Dean.” 

I’d recognize the voice anywhere, and at the sound of it I reached under the bar for the beer I’d been saving, and I tossed it to him. There wasn’t a crash so I had to assume that Sam still had good hand-eye coordination. Well, better than mine at least. “Sammy. Back from the hunt already?” 

“It was a milk run.” I could hear the grin in his voice. He was a proud fucker. He loved the hunt, and I couldn’t fault him for that. Sometimes I missed it, but mostly I didn’t. The squeak of his favorite bar stool told me he sat down. Guess he was planning on staying awhile. 

“Cas with you?’

“He went back to the bunker to check on the kids.” 

“They probably aren’t there. It’s summer. Can’t hardly keep tabs on them anymore.”

“Who does that sound like?” 

I laughed and shook my head, leaning on the bar. “Shut up, Sammy. Guess this is what I deserve, huh? After all I put Dad through.” 

“Yeah, man,” Sam said softly, reaching out and touching my arm. “It is. You seem good.” 

Sometimes I tried to remember what Sam looked like. Every day was harder. It all seemed so fuzzy, and I wasn’t sure what I was making up or what was true. 

“I am good,” I said, and it wasn’t even a lie. “Bar is doing great.” 

“I can tell! You’ve got a lot of business.” 

“We’re holding our own.” 

Sam was still in the life, and he came and went a lot, but he always ended up back home. That was all that mattered. 

“Where’s Ave?” 

“She ran to get limes. We were out.”

“So she’s not sick of you yet?” 

“Quit grinning, Sammy,” I said with a laugh. A familiar warmth grew in my gut as Ava’s face popped into my head-- well what I could remember of it. “Nah, she’s not tired of me yet.” 

“You made it, man.” 

“Yeah, I did.” 

“Excuse me? Can I get some service down here?” A voice called from the end of the bar. 

“Be right back,” I said to my brother, shaking my head. “Duty calls.” 

I slid down to the end of the bar in front of the girl calling for me. I leaned in toward her. “How can I help you?” 

“How about a glass of red.” 

“How about a soda,” I retorted with a smile. “Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I’m blind. 

She reached forward and grabbed my head, illuminating my vision. Eleanor sat in front of me, my own patented grin painted on her lips. “Hey, Dad.” 

“Hey kiddo. What brings you around?”

“Going to take Claire on a date,” she said, blushing a bit. “And I missed you. Where’s Mom?” 

“Getting limes.”

Seeing her never got old. When she touched my hand it was like she turned the light on. She was happy, glowing, literally. I was proud of her. 

“Ah, maybe I’ll catch her before the movie.” 

I couldn’t stop staring at her. There weren't many things in the world that I loved more than looking at her. 

“Dean, I’m back.” 

I sat up straighter, turning toward the door. “El, can I--” 

It was like she clicked on global vision, and I was seeing the whole bar through her eyes. The door opening, and in the midst of the afternoon crowd my beautiful wife came in, arms full of a bag of bright green limes, bouncing against her large pregnant belly. 

“Nel, you’re here,” Ave said, dropping the limes on the counter before wrapping our daughter into a hug. Ella let go of my hand to hug her mom back, clicking the lights back off for me, but the sight of Ava’s round belly was still burned into my vision like I’d stared too long at the sun. 

She was almost ready to burst at any time. We had the nursery completed upstairs, but we’d been dragging our feet moving out of the bunker. It still felt weird that Eleanor didn’t live with us. I think we felt like if we left that we would be moving on without her. We didn’t know what we were having, Ave wanted it to be a surprise, and I wanted whatever she wanted. She deserved to be happy and stress free. My job was to be the best husband possible. No Hell Hounds, no hunts, no money problems. The goal was to be happy. That was it. 

She wanted to be a stay at home mom with this one. She didn’t want to miss anything else, and that was fine with me. I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to go back to the force, but the itch is a lot easier to ignore when you aren’t faced with it everyday, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We were going away after we closed up tonight. They called it a ‘baby moon’ the last weekend away before the baby comes. I told her that we should go back to the beach, where we first started to fall in love with each other. I wouldn’t be against the sand in my toes, a classic shitty motel, the smell of the sea… 

I could remember her running out to the beach, her arms in the air, Sam and I following after her like the lovesick puppies we were. It felt like a different lifetime. I guess it kind of was. 

“Mom are you okay?” 

“What’s going on?” I asked, snapping out of my own personal day dream. 

Ave sucked in her breath, and I made my way around the bar, keeping my hand on the edge until I made it around to her. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she huffed. 

“You don’t look fine,” Ella said, suspiciously. 

“Ava, what’s happening?” I asked, touching her arm. She leaned into me immediately, and I reached down to touch her stomach. It was tight, and my eyebrows came together. “Are you having a contraction?” 

After a moment of gasping and gripping my shoulder with her hand she whispered, “Fine, yes,” breathlessly. 

“How long?”

“All morning,” she said sheepishly, letting out a pained laugh. 

“Damnit, Ave.” 

“Don’t do that,” she said dismissively. 

“Hey Sam, go get the car.” I dug my phone out of my pocket and handed it to El. “Can you get Claire to come close up shop? We’re having a baby.” 

My heart was racing. I couldn’t hide that I was excited, and fucking terrified. We didn’t have a great track record and even though this pregnancy has seemed pretty seamless, there was still a lot of risk. “Are you good, sweetheart?” I asked Ava, wrapping my arm around her. 

“Still hate that,” she gasped, another contraction racking her body. “But yeah, I’m good.” 

A honk came from out front and I put my arm under hers. “Ready?”

“It’s probably nothing, Dean… My water hasn’t even broken.” 

“Ava Winchester, just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean I don’t know you’re in pain. Let’s go get you checked out. If anything, we will just come home and watch a movie. Okay?” 

“Fine,” she huffed. Stubborn woman. 

We got in the car, Sammy was driving and Ave, and I were in the backseat. I let her lay down, and I held onto her. “I’ve got you, Ave.” 

I tried not to think much about the day that Eleanor was born. The day I missed, but as Ava writhed in pain in my lap I couldn’t help but wonder if Sam was holding her like this. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was afraid. 

She squeezed my hand tightly, pulling my arm around her. I could feel her tears on my forearm. I’d have given anything to take her pain away. “Wish I could switch places with you,” I whispered into her hair. 

“You couldn’t handle it,” she gasped out. 

She was probably right. 

We rolled up to the hospital, and they wheeled her to her room while Sam and I took care of all of the paperwork. Now that I was an official business owner, we had legitimate insurance. It was kind of weird putting our real names on the forms. 

“Is this what it was like the first time?” I asked. 

“Huh?” I could hear his pencil scribbling on the forms. 

“When Ella was born? Was this what it was like?” 

“No,” Sam said softly, his pencil stopping. “She didn’t go into labor then. She had to be induced. It was pretty scary, actually, but she did great.”

“I’m scared,” I admitted. 

“You’d be crazy not to be,” Sam said, squeezing my shoulder. 

“Thanks for being there for her the first time.” 

“You’ll do it this time. It’s pretty incredible, honestly.” 

“You think you and Eileen will ever?”

Sam exhaled and was quiet for a moment. I could hear his pencil tapping. “Doubt it. I already have two kids, basically three with Claire. Plus, I like the hunt too much. So does she.”

I smiled a bit to myself. I used to feel that way. Incredible how your perspective can change. Guess I had to lose my sight in order to truly see. 

Ava 

I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t done the baby’s laundry. We hadn’t even fully moved into the apartment. I think I kept expecting the other shoe to drop, something to change, to fall apart. I didn’t expect this. 

I was laying in a hospital bed, with my feet in the air and some nurse had her fingers probing for my cervix. I thought I was going to throw up, and all I could think about was Dean. Part of me wondered if he ran, even though he wouldn’t have to see anything traumatic. I couldn’t stop thinking about how last time I did this I was all alone. 

Except for Sam. 

Sam really was the only constant for Dean and I. We should buy him a fruit basket or cigars or name this kid after him, or something. 

The door opened, exposing Sam and Dean. If I didn’t know any better I’d think Dean was about to throw up, and Sam didn’t look much better, if I was being honest. I instinctively reached out for Dean, forgetting for a second that he couldn’t see me. It was still hard sometimes. Sam nudged him in my direction, and he found my hand easily. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, gripping me tightly. 

I looked to the nurse who smiled tentatively, removing her hand and discarding her glove. “Ava you’re about eight inches dilated. I’m going to have the OB come in and check you out, okay?” 

“Sure,” I said with a hopeful smile before turning to Dean. 

Sam had slipped out with the nurse, leaving Dean and I alone. I was appreciative of that. I moved my feet from the stirrups, because who knew how long the doctor would take, and I scooted over. “Sit,” I demanded quietly. 

He placed his hand down on the bed and felt around until he was able to sit next to me, feeling him next to me immediately relaxed me a bit. “Sammy?” He called out. 

“He ditched out. My legs being up in the air probably scared him away.” 

“Good,” Dean said with an ornery smile. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “He should be scared.”

I laughed lightly and kissed him before wincing from another contraction. He held me against him, his face curling down into concern. Ever since his eyesight left him, Dean was even more easily readable than before. Since he couldn’t see people’s faces, it’s like he forgot that we could still see his expressions. “What?” I gasped out a bit. 

“Huh?” 

“You seem… concerned.” 

“I am concerned,” he admitted, his forehead wrinkling as his eyebrows came together. “The nurse she sounded… worried, I guess. Shit, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just freaking out.” 

I smiled at him warmly and touched his cheek. He was so fucking cute. The big bad Dean Winchester, single father for sixteen years, and so damn afraid. I loved him so much for it. “No freaking out allowed. I’m about to push a living being out of my vagina. You aren’t allowed to freak out.” 

“Right,” he said, his face getting serious. “Sorry, I shouldn’t do that. You need me to be strong. I should be your support here, not cause more issues.” 

“You’re okay, Dean. I’m just giving you crap.” I pulled his face to me, and I kissed him desperately. “It’s your first time.” 

“I hate that I missed Ella’s birth. I think about it a lot.” 

“I wish you were there, too.” 

A knock came to the door, and I looked toward the door. “Mrs. Winchester?” 

“That’s me.” 

“I’m going to just check you out,” Dr. Laucklan said with a warm smile. 

I frowned a bit. “Why? The nurse just did.” 

“I just want to double check. I don’t want you to be concerned.” 

Concerned. Well I was. How could I not be after she said that? Dean stood up and held my hand tightly. 

“It’s good to see you again, Dean.”

“Good to hear ya Doc,” Dean said, beaming. 

I adjusted my legs back into the stirrups and scooted to the end of the table. 

They never really tell you how much it sucks getting your cervix messed with. It hurts in a way that is unnatural, it’s mean, and Dean has learned, and is already squeezing my hand in preparation. It was almost eighteen years ago that I was here with Ella, Sam snuggled behind me, but it didn’t feel like that long. My body remembered this feeling like I just went through it. I barely felt healed from the first time, but dying does weird things to you. Nothing is ever really normal after that. Not that my life with the Winchester’s had ever been normal. 

My OB was making sounds in reaction to whatever she was doing between my legs. It was a humming, a sort of judgmental noise that left me unsettled. 

Something was wrong. 

She pulled her hand away and discarded her glove. “Ava, Dean,” she began, and my stomach dropped. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to be worried, but there may be a change in plans,” she explained. “Your baby has flipped since your last appointment, he or she is now in a breech position.” 

“What?” I asked, my heartbeat pounding so angrily in my ears that the sound was virtually impossible to override. 

“Can we do anything about that? Turn them around? I think I heard of that…” Dean’s voice was far away. He couldn't see my face, and it was probably for the best, because I had to look absolutely terrified. 

I ran my hands over my swollen stomach. This was the last place that my little one would be safe. Inside of me, they’re safe, but now… what I was hearing from my doctor told me that I couldn’t even protect them. “What do we do?” I asked, the sound of my own voice snapping me out of that feeling that I was underwater. 

“I want to suggest a Cesarean.” 

“A C-section,” I said, dumbfounded. 

“What?” Dean’s voice was rising, and I couldn't even look at him. I couldn't process my emotions and his. It was all too much. “That isn’t a part of our birth plan.” 

In any other circumstance, hearing Dean Winchester use the phrase birth plan would be insanely entertaining to me. “Dean,” I whispered, reaching for his hand again. I finally turned to see his face, it was twisted, his cheeks wet from tears. I had to remind myself that this was his first time. Last time didn’t exactly go as planned. “It’s okay.” 

“No, Ave… it’s…” 

“Hey,” I said, tugging him to me. I brushed my nose against his. “I love you. Everything will be okay. We want to do what's safest for our little pumpkin.” 

He pressed his forehead to mine in a way that was so gentle that it made my heart hurt. “I just want you both to be okay.” 

“We will be. You’ll be right there the whole time.” 

“But I can’t see,” Dean said, his voice breaking into a soft, strained sob. 

I touched his cheek, holding his face, and I closed my own eyes so we would be on equal terms. “You don’t have to be able to see to be there. You aren’t defined by that, Dean. Not to me.” 

“Okay,” he whispered with a nod. “Okay.” 

Ella 

I’ve learned a lot of tricks in the last few months. Some Cas taught me, some Billie, and some I just learned myself. One of the best, though, is the most simple. I like to be invisible. Sometimes I just watched them, my parents. I watch them be together, be in love. Sometimes I’ll just rest my hand on Dad’s shoulder so he can see Mom. The look on his face when he does is always one of complete adoration. It’s kind of like how Claire looks at me. 

I wouldn’t ever admit it to them, but I spent a lot of time back in that bar, the one where they met. I even went back in time once, just to watch them meet. It may not have been obvious to them, but I could tell that they were already spent on each other. Especially Dad. 

I heard their prayers from the hospital like they were right next to me, pressed against my ear. With all of the power in the world I still didn’t know how to fix this. 

I popped into the operating room, everything was sterile, blue. The air was cold and Mom was shivering. Her arms were spread out and strapped down. She sort of looked like Jesus on the cross, and the sight left me sick to my stomach. 

Dad’s hands were shaking as he held her hand. He wore blue gowns, something over his hair, and a mask. He looked alien. I wished someone had taken a photograph. 

They were both behind a curtain that separated Mom’s stomach from the rest of her body. The doctor cut into her, pulled her organs out to expose her uterus, and I felt awful for ever being born. The human body was incredible. 

Mom was crying. I could feel the fear pulsing off of her in a way that was almost palpable, so I broke my own rule and I pressed my hand into hers. Her fingers curled in immediately and her head turned to me. Thank you, she prayed, and I squeezed her hand in response. 

I spent my entire life wanting a relationship with her, and the moment she got back I had to go and die. We were cursed. People always said that, other hunters, angels, demons. You Winchester’s are cursed. I never believed it, but I had started to. We were supposed to be Chuck’s favorites, but maybe there’s something not so good about being God’s favorite after all. 

I just hoped this baby didn’t get the curse. 

“Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Winchester,” the doctor said as she lifted a wailing baby out of my mother. “You have a son.”

Dean

I have a son.

I couldn’t begin to explain the feeling that washed over me when the words came out of the doctor. Son. I had one already, of course. But things with Jack were always a little complicated. I love him like he’s my own. Something felt different, though. With this baby I felt like I had a fresh start. He didn’t know anything I’ve done. To him I am just his father. I’m not the righteous man. I’m not a dark shadow, murderer, knight of hell, monster. 

I am just me. 

The nurse placed my son in my arms, and I felt how small he was. He was tiny and squirming, and I felt myself cry. I hadn’t loved anything this much since the first time I held Ella. There was nothing like it. 

And in a blink the lights were on. The darkness dissipated, and I knew she was with me. She was giving me a chance to see my son.

I couldn’t look away from him. He looked at me with hazy eyes, his face pink and swollen. His head was perfectly round, like an orange. His tiny fingers flexed for me, pin pricked with dimples. He looked a little like Sam when he was a baby, and I touched his tiny chin. It was the size of my thumb and the sight of it made my heart squeeze. “Ave he’s gorgeous.” I turned so she could see him, and she was crying. She was beautiful, even pale and her hair tucked away inside of a cap. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered quietly to her.

Her face flashed in recognition. “You can see me.”

“I’ve always been able to see you.”

I held our son against my chest, with my daughters hand pressed to my shoulder, and for the first time in my life, we were all together. Everything was perfect. “I don’t need eyes to see you Ava Winchester.” 

She smiled as I laid our son on her chest, near her face. As I leaned down to her and pressed my lips to her forehead everything went dark again, but this time it didn’t scare me. This time I didn’t feel empty, and I was sure that I would never feel empty and afraid again. 

------

A/N: 

I can't believe this day is finally here. I've been dragging my feet really badly, because this series is what made me want to write again. This show has pulled me out of my absolute darkest places, given me a beautiful new group of friends, and a purpose. I think I associated my joys with the show and my feelings toward it with this fic... so what happens when it's over? I'm not afraid of that anymore.  

Now I'm just enjoying a large coffee, and the bittersweet feeling of endings. Please yell at me anytime. I live for it. 

Love you all

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[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: The Trap (15x09)

Whaaaat did I just watch though? That made me... so happy? In the sad way? You know. You get it.

Cons:

I understand that the actress playing Eileen can't be in all the rest of the episodes, but I'm still sad to see her leave. It reminds me of Mary leaving, after her resurrection - just a plotty excuse to get a certain actor out of the show for a while. I wish it wasn't necessary. Eileen had better be in several more episodes, and she had better f**king live. That's all I'm sayin'.

Jared and Jensen were clearly having fun playing vampires, which is good for them, but it was a little too cheesy for my taste. Especially when Vamp!Sam got shot and Vamp!Dean attacked Jody. That should have been actually moving - this idea that even as a monster, Dean would go berserk watching Sam die. But instead I was too distracted by Dean's silly monster attack face. It's a small thing, but still.

Pros:

So let's start with the Purgatory stuff. This whole subplot was really just an excuse for Dean to emotionally apologize to Cas, and you know what? I am not mad about it. Really, it's a simple quest - get in, find magic flower, get out, create weapon to trap Chuck. So instead of watching two people hunt monsters, grab a flower, and get the hell out of dodge, we focus on the emotional aspect of this relationship.

First off, I love that Dean and Cas have to go into Purgatory knowing that Chuck has Eileen and Sam. You can see how torn Dean is, how every instinct is telling him to run to his brother immediately. But Cas is done caving to whatever Dean wants. He's scared for Sam too, but he knows that the only way to defeat Chuck is to follow through on Michael's plan. Once they're there, Dean is continually pissy, and Cas just doesn't have time for it. He scoffs at Dean's suggestion that they split up, and then later, as they are following their captive Leviathan to the flower they need, we get the exchange that everyone is already talking about: "You left." "I left, but you didn't stop me." Like... excuse me? That's the most... that's just... how is that not two exes being angry and bitter and heartbroken with each other? It was so much!

And then they get separated, and Dean searches for him. When there's only thirty minutes left until the rift closes, he realizes that he might have to leave Cas behind in Purgatory. For the second time. I love everything that goes unspoken here, because I truly believe that Dean would stay in Purgatory, and miss his chance to go home, to keep looking for Cas. But he can't do that, because Chuck has Sam. The prayer was... it was a lot. I know some people were disappointed and wanted some big declaration of love, but my expectations have always been pretty low when it comes to Destiel content.

So... to see Dean pray to Cas, literally fall to his knees part way through that prayer, to see him apologize, to see him say "of course I forgive you" and "you're my best friend," to see him acknowledging his own anger and how he takes it out on Cas, and how that isn't fair... I was overwhelmed. And Jensen really didn't pull any punches with the emotional nature of his reaction. We've seen a lot of dramatic angst speeches from Dean over the years - it's one of the show's trademarks. This isn't even the first time we've seen one of these speeches that's mostly about Cas. But this one isn't the typical "single man tear" type. Dean is openly weeping, his voice cracking as he repeats "I hope you can hear me." He thinks he might be saying goodbye to Cas forever, and it's so fucking powerful.

And that hug! Cas waiting by the rift for the last possible second, Dean planning to do the same, and then - they're reunited, and Cas got what they came for in the first place! I loved the hug, I loved Cas telling Dean: "I heard your prayer." It's just so - intimate. Dean praying to Cas is intimate, and it always has been, and it kind of drives me bonkers that it even exists.

Benny being dead was an interesting choice... they got the actor to come back for at least one scene, so it's odd not to see him here. That said, I appreciated that the writers didn't forget about him. Of course Dean would ask. And we also see Cas offering his sympathies, which leads in to their snippy exchange.

Let's go ahead and turn to the main plot of the night... Chuck systematically breaking Sammy's heart and fortitude. I am eMOTIONAL right now. I love that Chuck uses Eileen to cut Sam, that is just so dark and twisted and awful, and I felt so bad for both of them. But this isn't enough to break Sam Winchester, of course.

So Chuck tries a different tack, showing Sam what will happen if Dean and Cas swoop in and save the day, and defeat Chuck. The grim reality of the future is this: without God in place to keep balance, the monsters will start to take over the world, and Sam and Dean will not be able to stem the tide. That's the big picture, and it's what Chuck eventually explains to Sam... but in the immediate reality of it, Sam can only focus on the fact that their allies will slowly die around them - Donna and the girls, leaving Jody bereft, Eileen, leaving Sam bereft... even Cas gets buried in the box because the Mark turned him dark-side. And that at the end of all of this, Sam wants to go out swinging, while Dean wants to give up. It ends with Sam and Dean becoming vampires, and Jody and Bobby coming along to take them out once and for all. That's the reality waiting at the end of the line, if Chuck is defeated.

I hate to talk more about Destiel (haha no I don't), but I just have to point out that Dean identifies the moment when he lost all hope as the moment when he had to bury Cas. That's true love, baby! And Sam's increasingly frantic energy was really tough to watch, especially when we know that in this imagined future, Sam and Eileen formed a real relationship, and then he lost her. We start off this whole future by seeing Sam, Eileen, Dean, and Cas all apparently living together in the bunker, researching for cases, having movie nights... and then Jody calls to tell them that Claire is dead, and that's what starts the nightmare spiral.

And it gets worse than that - if Chuck is defeated, this is the apparent outcome. If Chuck isn't defeated, we go back to the whole "Cain and Abel" thing, where Sam and Dean are destined to kill each other. Chuck informs Dean, after Dean and Cas show up to save the day, that these weren't Chuck's planned endings. They were other versions of Sam and Dean, other ways that their story ended over the many different versions of Earth that Chuck has created.

Well, that's grim. I really enjoyed tracking the idea of "hope" as it's presented in this episode. Sam refuses to let Chuck get to him for a really long time, but one of the reasons that he loses hope, ultimately, and doesn't trap Chuck, is because he sees this future where Dean loses hope. Where instead of going out like Butch and Sundance, you have Sam basically forcing Dean to continue hunting, by threatening to go into reckless fights by himself. Of course Dean would never let Sam do that, even though he's lost his heart for hunting because his husband is gone. But then in our current reality, we see that Sam has lost hope, but Dean has not. Even as Chuck says that the dark ending is inevitable, Dean says no. Not this Sam. Not this Dean.

It's so fascinating, because it was Dean earlier this season who said that he couldn't even tell what was real anymore, but now, with his relationship with Cas newly repaired, he seems to have hit his second wind. He'll hold the torch of optimism while Sam cannot.

Eileen and Sam finally kissed, and of course they had to make it bittersweet! She needs some time away, she can't stay when she's so uncertain about what's real anymore. Chuck has manipulated their relationship, bringing them back together in order to prove a point. And that sucks, and it feeds in to Sam and Dean's fears about their free will... but it doesn't mean that Eileen and Sam's feelings for each other aren't real. I have hopes that Eileen will grapple with that off screen, and come back to help kick some ass by the time the finale roles around. Also the kiss was really sweet and soft and I want Sam to be happy SO BAD.

One final note: Sam didn't crush the magic orb thingy that was supposed to trap Chuck, making Dean and Cas' harrowing trip to Purgatory pointless. I was worried that this would cause a rift between the brothers, but instead, when Sam says that he believes Chuck's vision of the future, and how bad things will get without him around, Dean just says: "that's good enough for me." I love the fact that they are on the same page, and that here going into the endgame, we can have a united front.

One final final note: It looks like Jack is making a return! Place your bets now - will Jack replace Chuck as God, restoring balance and allowing our heroes the chance to defeat our ultimate Big Bad? I gotta say, I don't hate that as an ending to the show!

9.5/10

[waywardaardvark79]

Check Yes or No Part 11: Baby Steps

       Summary:  You've been best friends with Dean Winchester since childhood. When you finally realize what's been in front of you this entire time will secrets threaten to destroy what you have before it really even begins.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warning: language

                                  One week later, Sunday

      You had agreed to meet Dean for lunch to finish the conversation Sam interrupted at the anniversary party. Dean had told his family everything, and you had more support than you thought you would, none of them really caring much for Lisa in the first place. 

Mary had a long talk with you, and while she wished that you two could eventually work everything out, she understood how you felt. The day before Sam left to go back home he told you that he understood your side of things and offered you a place to stay with him and Jess if you ever needed to get away for awhile. Your friend Ashley, who had also been informed  about everything as well, told you that you were more than welcome to come and stay with her and her husband Stephen if you needed to. 

You mulled both offers over, and were seriously considering taking them up on it, maybe it was exactly what you needed, just a little time away to clear your head. You checked the time on your phone, Dean was 30 minutes late, only to see no missed calls or texts. You waited for another fifteen minutes before giving up, paying for your coffee, and walking outside to your car. 

       The rest of your afternoon was spent lazily binging Netflix from your couch. You heard your phone ping from the coffee table, and groaned as you reached for it, a new text from Benny lighting up your screen.

                           Benny didn't reply back, and you tossed your phone back on the coffee table. You had dozed off on the couch when a knock at the door pulled you from sleep. You unwrapped yourself from your blanket cocoon and shuffled to the door. You flung it open, not looking through the peephole, to see Benny standing there with a couple of take out bags. 

He looked you up and down, "Were you sleepin'?" 

You held the door open, and gestured for him to come in, "I dozed off on the couch." He held the bag of food out to you and you pointed to the coffee table, "Want a beer?" you asked.

 "Sure." he said as he made his way into your living room and plopped down onto your couch. 

You returned with two beers, handed Benny his, and plopped down next to him. You grabbed the take out bag from the table and ripped into it, "You really didn't have to do this." you said as you popped a fry into your mouth. 

"I kinda need some advice." he said as he quickly swiped one of your fries. 

You chuckled, "And you came to me for said advice? I'm probably the last person you want advice from, but I'll try." 

He took a swig of beer, "I think I may have met someone." he hesitantly said. You took a huge bite of your burger, waving your hand for him to continue, "I did some work on her car. We were friendly with each other." 

"So, you went all Southern charm on her?" you cut in.

 Benny rolled his eyes, "Maybe a little. Anyway I finished the job yesterday, and she came to get her car, and she gave me her number."

 "Call her." you simply stated. 

Benny laid his head back on your couch, "What do I say?" he asked.

 "Just be yourself, Benny. You are charming as fuck. You'll have no problem." 

He looked over at you, "I've been out of the game awhile, sugar, and my charm didn't work on you."

 You shoved more of your burger in your mouth, and mumbled out, "Well, I'm an idiot." You swallowed as quickly as you could, "You'll do fine. She's gonna love you. Trust me." you said. 

Benny chuckled, "You just said you were an idiot, now it's trust me." 

You slapped at his arm, "Trust me. Call her, and just be yourself. You're a catch, Benny." 

You grabbed your beer and downed it. You started to get up for another, "I got it." said Benny as he walked into your kitchen. 

He returned a moment later, two beers in hand, "So, you and Dean doing any better?" he asked. 

You grabbed the bottle from his hand, and shrugged your shoulders, "We were supposed to meet for lunch today, but he never showed." You took a drink, "Sam offered me a place with him and Jess."  you said. Benny's eyes widened at your statement. "Just to visit for a few days. You know get away for a little while." you cleared up. 

"Might be something to think about. Clear your head. Just don't go runnin' off on me." Benny said.

 "Can't get rid of me that easy, Bear. I mean, who would you come to for awesome advice?" you asked.

 "True, Cas and Garth aren't too bright when it comes to the ladies." he said.

 You laughed a full body laugh, "Cas,  gave you advice?" you asked.

 "He tried to." said Benny. 

"Oh, God. I wish I could have heard that." you said.

 The conversation flowed easily between you and Benny. You were on your third beer when you heard a knock at the door. "Maybe it's more food." you joked as you got up to answer it.

 You opened the door to see Dean standing there, "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I can explain...." he trailed off as he noticed Benny sitting on your couch. He narrowed his eyes, "Am I interrupting something?" he asked.  

You rolled your eyes, but before you could say anything you heard Benny clear his throat. "I was just heading out." he said as he stood from the couch. 

You turned to face him, and Dean walked inside, "Come in." you grumbled. You closed the door and walked over to Benny, "You don't have to leave." 

"It's fine." he said. 

You walked him the short distance to the door, "Thanks for dinner, and listen to what I said. Call me and let me know how it goes, or stop by the shop tomorrow." you said as you hugged him.

 He leaned down and whispered in your ear, "You ok?" 

You pulled back and nodded. Benny opened the door and stepped out, "I mean what I said." you called after him. 

He waved you off, "See ya tomorrow, sugar." 

      You slowly closed the door and turned around to see Dean surveying your living room as if he were looking for evidence of a crime. "Awfully chummy." stated Dean. 

You sighed, "Really? That's what we are starting with?" 

He shrugged his shoulders, "You tell me?" 

"Jealousy isn't a good look on you." you said as you picked up the empty beer bottles and headed toward the kitchen. 

Dean quickly followed, "So, I have a reason to be jealous?" he asked. 

You chucked the bottles into the trash a little more harshly than you meant to, "Jesus Dean, he brought me something to eat, and asked my advice on something, not like it's any of your business or anything." you said. 

"Come on, Y/N. You know he has a huge crush on you." Dean argued. 

"So, what if he does?! We aren't a thing anymore. I can talk to whoever I want." you yelled. 

Dean narrowed his eyes and took a few steps toward you, "So, you talkin' to Benny now?" he asked, venom dripping from his words.

 "And what if I was?!" you yelled back. 

He didn't answer, just stood there glaring at you. "Jesus Christ, he came here to ask my advice on asking someone out. He met someone at work, and needed some help." you stated as you marched back into your living room. 

"Why didn't you just say that?" asked Dean. 

You reached for your half full beer, "Not so fun being jerked around is it?" you asked before quickly downing what was left.

 Dean looked at you, confusion written all over his face, "We were supposed to have lunch today." you filled in the blank for him. 

Dean looked down at the ground and sheepishly stated, "I can explain that." 

"Oh, I'm sure you can." you sarcastically said. 

Dean sat down on the couch next to you, "I hate fighting with you." he said.

 "You could have at least called me." you said as you wrapped yourself in your blanket, needing a barrier between the two of you.

 He looked over at you, "I wanted to explain in person. I was scared you wouldn't take my calls. I got here as soon as I could." You looked over at him, waiting for him to explain, "Lisa got kicked out of her place. Apparently she forgot to pay rent."

 "Sounds about right." you bitterly replied.

 "She showed up at my place when I was leaving to meet you, and said she didn't have anywhere to go." 

"She's there isn't she?" you asked. You didn't give him time to reply before quickly jumping into a rant, "Why don't you open your eyes, De. I mean what fucking grown human being just forgets to pay rent? She is using you, and she is going to take you for everything you fucking have. You are just too blind to see it. I would have thought you would have learned that lesson after the first time, but I guess you can't get it through that thick fucking skull of yours." 

"You done?" he asked. 

You looked away from him, shrugged one shoulder, "I guess." you mumbled. 

 "She's at my place, but I loaded most of my shit into my car and left. I told you I didn't want her, Y/N." You didn't say anything, and he reached across and tapped the top of your head, "Or can you not get that through your thick fuckin' skull?" he asked.

 "Not funny." you said.

 "I know you don't like it, and trust me, I don't either, but that's my kid and it's my responsibility." said Dean. 

"I still wouldn't bet on that." you said under your breath.

 "Well, if it is I couldn't just leave her out on the street." he said.

 "I know." you replied as you focused on a loose string at the hem of your shirt.

 "Sammy agreed with you that I should get a DNA test. He even offered to talk to her about it, throw around all his lawyer talk." said Dean. 

"You should listen to him." 

 "He told me he offered you a place with him and Jess. You gonna take it?" he asked, worrying lacing his voice.

 "I thought about it." you said. 

"I really wish you wouldn't." he said in almost a whisper. 

"It'd only be for a few days. You know, just clear mind and shit."

 He reached for your hand, a little shocked when you didn't pull away, and laced his fingers with yours, "We're never gonna be the same, are we?" he asked.

 You thought for a moment before choking out, "I....don't know."

 "I hate not talking to you everyday. I miss you so fuckin' much." he said.  

You squeezed his hand, "Me too." 

You both sat there in silence, not releasing the grip you had on each other's hand. "How about we go back to friends for now, and when we figure out all of this Lisa business, we can make a decision then?" you asked.

 "I'll take whatever you will give me." he said.

 "I'll try not to be such an asshole about it, and just get over it. You're too important to me." you said. "Me and her probably shouldn't be around each other though." you clarified. 

"I don't want to be around her either." he said.

 "Well, you kinda fucked that one up, De." you said, a hint of laughter in your voice. 

"You've never been more right about anything. So, I can call you, and come around now?" he asked.

 "I think we should baby step it for awhile, but I'm ok with it, if you are."

 "This is the first time I've been ok with anything in awhile." he said.

 "You can crash here tonight." you said. 

He looked over at you, "What happened to baby steps?" he asked, his lip quirking up into a smile. 

"I offered you, who is technically homeless, a place to sleep. Not like I asked you to move in." you said. 

He slumped down and leaned his head on your shoulder, "Thank you." 

You leaned your head over onto his, "You know I always got your back." you said. 

       You sat there for awhile, simply enjoying each other's company, when you let out a loud yawn. "You should get to bed." said Dean.

 You pulled your hand away from his, and leaned back into the couch, "I'll take the couch. You can have the bed." you said as you started to arrange the pillows. 

"No way." he said. 

"You can't comfortably fit on the couch, and I can. It's no big deal." you argued

. You watched as he stood up, "You sure?" he asked.

 "Goodnight Dean. You still have some clothes in your drawer if you want to change." you said as you pulled the blanket up over you and closed your eyes. 

You heard Dean walk into the kitchen, figuring he was grabbing something to drink before bed, you turned on your side and settled in for the night. You felt him tap your shoulder a few moments later. You opened your eyes to see him standing over you, a piece of paper and pen in  hand. You looked up at him and he gestured for you to take the paper.

 You took it, propped yourself up in a seated position, and opened it. You smiled as you looked down at it.  Will you be my friend?  was scrawled in Dean's messy writing. At the bottom were the familiar boxes, yes and no written next to them. The note you wrote so many years ago popped into your head, and you looked up at him and smiled before taking the pen and making your choice. You folded the paper and handed it over to him, settling back onto your side and fixing your blanket. 

You didn't see the smile that spread across his face as he looked down at the check mark you had placed in the yes box. You felt him place a kiss to your temple, "Night, sweetheart." 

"Night, you giant fuckin' dork." You smiled as you heard him laugh to himself on his way to your bedroom.

        You tossed and turned for a couple of hours on the couch. You were so tired earlier and couldn't understand why you were having so much trouble falling asleep. 

You got up and tried to quietly walk around, thinking that maybe you could tire yourself out, but before you knew it you had made your way to your bedroom. You peeked your head in the door, and saw Dean laying on his back, "Can't sleep?" he asked.

 You jumped a little, startled by his question, "Guess not." you said.

 He raised his head, and tried to focus on you in the dark, "C'mere." he said. 

You stood hesitantly at the doorway, unsure of whether you should go in or not. "What happened to baby steps?" you asked.

 "Just offering you a place to sleep." he said, using your own words against you.

 You quickly crossed the distance to your bed and crawled in beside him, turning over on your side. Just as you closed your eyes he threw his arm over your waist, pulled you back into his chest, and tangled his legs with yours. A smile slowly crept  onto your face, and you quickly drifted off to sleep, Dean quickly following behind you. It was the best night's sleep either of you had had in awhile.

[mittensmorgul]

10.07: Girls, Girls, Girls.

ROWENA! At the very beginning of her long, long journey. And :') she has come so far now. Imagine coming from this, and now she's practically a Winchester.

I also love this, because it apparently takes place immediately after 10.06, as they're driving back to the bunker from Connecticut and they detour to this town just so Dean can meet up with the first woman who apparently responded to his dating website profile. Since we've literally never seen him use this app before or since, I've always assumed he HAD installed it because he was looking into those cattle deaths and caught wind of the "demonic brothel" operating in town... because he wasn't so much surprised as disappointed when Shalene turned out to be trading sex for souls. But even more importantly, NEITHER WAS SAM. They just moved on from that without Sam ever ONCE teasing him for being so gullible as to fall for that scam, you know? He may have done so BEFORE they met up with Shalene, and this seems like the kind of thing that Sam would've absolutely used for taunting purposes throughout the episode if he'd actually been in the dark about the hunt from the start. So... logic dictates it was their plan from the start.

The other interesting thing about this episode is the whole concept of Raul's Girls. I mean, we're talking about DEMONS here, who literally can possess whatever body they want. And yet the demons themselves choose not to possess the hookers, but the pimps. They only acted as middle men, having to step in just to sign the contract and then let the human women do the deed. And honestly? WHY wouldn't they just possess the women themselves and save the hassle of having to manage all these women? I mean, to do a crossroads deal, demons just need to seal the bargain with a kiss. They wouldn't have needed to "pause the action" just to bring in some mook in a suit with a stack of legal paperwork to sign. Just... tempt the john into sealing the deal on the spot without having to go through all that other distraction. I wonder how many dudes just decided at that point it wasn't worth waiting around for some other idiot to witness their shame, you know? How desperate for sex would you have to be to sit there waiting for a girl's pimp to come by and kill the mood with legal documents? Tres unsexy, if you ask me. But in the end, Raul and his demon flunkies weren't willing to do the actual deed themselves. They couldn't even convince any of their friends to possess the hookers, you know? Kinda... sad, really. Which makes me 10000000x more in love with Rowena and the mission she chose in killing these particular demons. :P

Unfortunately, Rowena ends up showing just as much disdain for her new friends as Raul did, literally using them as attack dogs to make her escape, knowing the girls would fight for her until her spell burned them up and left them dead...

So much manipulation.

On the other side of the story, we have Hannah's journey with Cas. They're apparently making progress on returning the rogue angels to Heaven, and she's becoming more comfortable in her human vessel-- until she's confronted by her vessel's husband and feels the truly human anguish over what Hannah says and does with her body to convince her husband that she doesn't want him anymore. I mean... it's horrific, and she's overwhelmed and actually experiences doubt in the righteousness of her mission for the first time.

Cas compares her anguish to his over having taken Jimmy's vessel from his family, TWICE. But their situations are in no way comparable, imho. Hannah is CHOOSING this mission. The fate of the world doesn't depend on her rounding up these few angels who are intent on experiencing humanity for themselves. She believes they should all willingly return to heaven and resume their roles as they always had, but so many angels and their human vessels have died rather than return, and she's only now beginning to wonder if she might be pursuing the wrong mission... even though Cas has come onboard with helping her with it. Because Cas still hasn't begun to understood that there's something for him to live for outside of his own chosen mission. At least he has experienced true free will for himself, in his very own body and not a human vessel occupied by a separate human soul. But he's still struggling with what his mission should be, because he also knows he has a limited time left before his second dose of stolen grace will begin to fade and burn out again. He's not yet living for the future, you know? He believes he's living on borrowed time. Which will prompt his first chosen "solo mission," to attempt to at least ensure Claire's future security after what he'd done to her father. And I LOVE this whole entire arc for him.

Just as Hannah left Caroline to go back to her husband to make things right (and heck how do you even begin explaining the truth there?), Cas chooses to do what little he can to make things right for Jimmy's family, even though Jimmy himself is more than six years dead at this point. He might not be able to return Jimmy to them, but he can do whatever he has in his power to at least check in with them and do right by his original vessel's loved ones. It's a promise too long broken, and he can at least make that right before he dies.

HANNAH: It's hard letting go... of a story, a mission. But what of the humans whose lives we sacrifice in the name of that mission? CASTIEL: What of them? HANNAH: We always said the humans were our original mission. Maybe it's time, Castiel -- time to put them first. CASTIEL: Where is all this coming from? HANNAH: Being on earth, working with you, I've felt things. Human things -- passions, hungers. To shower, feel water on my skin... to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him. Her husband -- his anger and his grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These f-feelings, they aren't for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it's time to step aside. [Hannah smiles, leans forward and kisses Castiel on the cheek. Castiel nods.] Goodbye, Castiel.

Because Cas is only beginning to recognize that within him, in this body built at least three times over JUST FOR HIM, at this point, he feels both the Human Things and the Angelic Mission, but there's no separating out the two. They are ALL HIS OWN FEELINGS. And he's been trying to force himself to be the angel only, taking stolen grace and pushing aside his own human emotions and desires, convincing himself the mission comes first and everything else can be ignored. Until he can't anymore. And his first step is going to look for the Novaks. (the rest of his human feelings are still far too dangerous for him to even ponder yet)

And ugh ugh ugh, nobody likes Cole, but we can't deny his role in this episode. If only it had been played by anyone else >.>. But he is a representative of Dean's own past come back to haunt him, and Dean has no choice other than to address it with real words. Not like he did as an unfeeling demon, but after he's been partly cured of his supernatural ills (still got the mark, after all). But his entire conversation with Cole functions as a conversation with his own younger self-- driven by a "mission" for revenge, lacking so many crucial facts, and possibly bungling things he couldn't even BEGIN to understand at the time because of his single-minded focus on his mission.

Yes, this also serves as a reflection on Cas's current state, as well, because how often have angelic Orders and his Mission been justification for his lack of understanding of the bigger picture? "Have Faith" and "the mission is just because it comes from Heaven" were catch-alls to cover what he didn't know, and what he didn't know ended up hurting them all (but also ended up becoming the foundation for them gradually understanding the bigger picture on every level of the story, and through every turn of the narrative spiral).

So Cole stumbled over Dean about to take down Rowena in her first full episode, and at the time it was like GODDAMMIT YOU MORON NOW SHE GOT AWAY! But now? After 37 episodes of watching her character bloom like a rose, watching her journey from pure adversary to trusted family? I have to grudgingly give Cole this one... this one turned out for the best.

But it also gave us Dean saying things for Sam to hear, probably for the first time. He may have been saying these words to Cole, but they were at least as much for Sam, standing directly behind Cole and watching this scenario play out. Their issues since 9.01 had revolved around broken trust, and Sam's belief that Dean only cared about himself, so:

DEAN: Cole, hey, right here. We're talking, okay? COLE: How can I believe you, huh? {shouts] How can I believe you?! My whole life, I've been... DEAN: I get it. That was your story. Look, man, I got one of those, too. Okay, but those stories that we tell to keep us going? Man, sometimes they blind us. They take us to dark places --the kind of place where I might beat the crap out of a good man just for the fun of it. The people who love me, they pulled me back from that edge. Cole, once you touch that darkness... It never goes away. Now, the truth is... I'm past saving. I know how my story ends. It's at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun. So, the question is, is that gonna be today?That gonna be that gun?

And dang if you can't just put Cole's words into Sam's mouth here... and this is effectively Dean explaining to Sam that yes, he does understand that feeling Sam's told him he's had since he was a child, that "impurity" he's told Dean about for years having been tained by demon blood as a baby and never feeling like he could truly be clean, truly be the hero. Now Dean understands exactly what that burned felt like, and Sam can't deny it anymore. Sam, who relies on common experience to truly make a connection with others (as the narrative emblem of sympathy), now finally understands this aspect of Dean on a level he never could've before Dean actually said it out loud like this. And Dean (as the narrative emblem of empathy) knew Sam needed to hear it stated this plainly, and finally stopped shying away from actually manning up and saying it.

I'm gonna call it progress.

[angelic-holland]

In Another Life

Destiel - cute, fluffy, angsty, they deserve better. 

“There is an ‘us’ somewhere. It’s not here. It’s not even an uttered concept right now, but the novel idea of you and me together exists. Us. It’s hard to find it in this noisy life, especially with people and clashing lifestyles obstructing the view. I find it, however - and keep finding myself in it - when our eyes meet. When the world moves a half second ahead of us, riotous and oblivious, we find each other in a glance.”

Below the cut. 

“Castiel?” Jack asks, looking at the angel who was sitting glumly across from him.

“What is it Jack?”

“Do you love Dean?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Well Sam was talking about how my mom loved me, and how some people love each other so much they get married, so I was researching the different ways people show they love another person by, and well, you and Dean do a lot of those things.”

“Jack, I don’t think we need to have this conversation.”

“But Dean loves you. I can feel it. That’s why I brought you back. I wanted him to feel better, and he was longing for you. His longing for you was so loud. It was like when he sings really loudly in the shower. It was annoying.”

Cas stared at the boy dumbfounded, “Jack, I don’t think you understand, just because someone misses someone or cares for someone doesn’t mean they love them.”

“So you don’t love Dean?”

Cas sighs, “no, I, I care for Dean a lot, but it’s just not meant to be.”

“Can I show you something?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just take my hand,” Jack says, reaching out to Cas.

Cas hesitantly takes the boy’s hand, and there is a bright light before they stumble onto the ground, in front of a tan house.

“Where are we Jack?”

Jack tells him to be quiet and leads him around the side of the house, peering into one of the windows.

“We shouldn’t be doing this Jack,” Cas starts before Jack pulls him towards the window to look inside himself.

If his jaw could hit the floor, it would.

It was him, a different version of him, and Dean. And they were watching TV, and there was a little girl in front of them on the floor, playing with a toy truck. Dean had his arm around Cas’ shoulder, and Cas had his head laying on Dean’s shoulder.

“What is this Jack?”

“It’s one of the alternate universes where you and Dean are together. Almost all of the universes I’ve seen with you and Dean in them have you and Dean together. Come on, I’ll show you another one.”

Cas took a moment to look through the window again. They seemed happy, this alternate version of them, they were together, and had a kid, and weren’t hunters, but didn’t seem to mind. And Cas felt a longing in his heart. Before he could continue staring at one of his ‘maybes’, Jack grabbed his hand and they were brought to another world.

This time they were behind a tree line.

“What are we waiting for?”

“Shh, just watch,” Jack assures, pointing at the road in front of them.

They both heard the low, familiar rumble of the Impala tearing up the road in front of them. Before it pulled off to the side.

Cas peered at the Impala through the trees, trying to make out the people in the front seat.

“That’s Dean, and that’s you,” Jack tells Cas, pointing to the features in the car.

“Where’s Sam?”

“He’s staying home for this hunt, don’t worry about it, just watch.”

So Cas watched, and watched as the two figures pulled closer together, until they were basically on top of each other.

“That’s Dean and me?”

Jack nods, smiling up at Cas, “you’re still hunters here, Sam is married to someone named Eileen, and they still hunt sometimes but they lay low for the most part. You do this a lot here, you and Dean. I make sure to leave before anything actually happens.”

Cas didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to feel about this. About all these other worlds where him and Dean were together, when in his world, it’s probably not even crossed Dean’s mind.

Before he could think of anything else, Jack touched Castiel’s arm and they were transported to a coffee shop, sitting in a booth by the window.

Cas looks around hesitantly, wondering what this universe would have in store for them. His eyes caught Dean outside, standing in front of the impala, staring down at his phone, a neatly pressed suit on.

“Thank you,” he hears a rough voice say from across the shop. It’s his voice.

He glances to his right and sees himself, another version of himself, picking up two coffee cups and brings them to Dean.

Cas’ stare follows their movements. The way Dean took his coffee, and then kissed Cas on the cheek, causing him to blush.

“You two are still hunters, you’re not an angel anymore here but you confessed your feelings for him one night, in a barn? And the next day he kissed you and told you he loved you too. And you’ve been together ever since.”

Cas frowned, he remembers that night in the barn very clearly. Thinking he was on his deathbed he laid it all out in the open. He said those three little words, ‘I love you’, and then quickly followed them with ‘I love all of you’ because of the way Dean looked at him. He thought it was a look of disgust, and that’s not how he wanted to remember Dean when he died. He wanted to remember Dean’s smile and Dean’s laugh and the way Dean’s hand felt on his shoulder. He wanted to remember the good times with Dean, and the bad times. He wanted to remember each moment that he fell a little more in love with him.

“Come on, this is my favorite one,” Jack says as he takes Castiel’s hand and they are standing at the back of a large group of people, all sitting down. Castiel recognized it as a graduation ceremony.

“What is this?”

“Just watch,” Jack insists as he squints to see the stage at the front.

“Jack Novak, Bachelor’s of Arts in Sociology,” an older man says as a copy of Jack walks on stage.

“Get ‘em kid!” Castiel hears a familiar voice and turns his head to see Dean standing in the back row with an arm around Castiel. That is, this Castiel. Who was wearing a nice suit, much nicer than his current one, and beaming up at the stage as well. Next to Castiel, Sam was jumping up and down, causing the girl beside him to swat his arm and sign for him to knock it off. Eileen loved her husband and how goofy he was but she knew how much Jack hated to be embarrassed by him.

A few dozen more names were called.

“Kaia Nieves, Bachelor’s of Art in Art History and Native American Studies,” the Dean says as a girl with dark curly hair walks across the stage.

“Whoop whoop!” They hear a voice farther up in the front, with the students, cheering Kaia on. It sounded faintly like Claire.

“Claire Novak, Bachelor’s of Science in Criminal Psychology,” the Dean says as Claire walks across the stage, stopping and throwing up two “love you signs” after getting her diploma.

“You adopted me and Claire and raised us and Kaia and Claire have been dating for ‘like forever’ when their Dean asked them how long they were together before the both of you finally caught on. And Sam and Eileen have a little girl named Jessica, I think they named her after a girlfriend of his who died? Anyways I love this version of our lives because everyone is happy. I mean, I’m happy now but I still miss my mom and you aren’t happy because Dean doesn’t love you back and Dean was very unhappy when you were gone but he’s a lot better now. Sam is really sad about Mary and so is Dean. So, we’re happy, but not this happy,” Jack says, all in one go, words jumbling together as he practically bounced in his place.

“Jack, I’m fine, we can go back now.”

“But Castiel, don’t these universes prove that you can be together? That you two are perfect for each other?”

Cas smiles sadly at the young boy next to him. He was so young, barely six months old and he knew he wouldn’t understand even if he could explain Dean and his complicated relationship.

“It’s just not something that’s going to happen Jack, Dean doesn’t share those feelings, so I’m content with being his friend.”

“But you don’t know he doesn’t share those feelings.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t Jack.”

“You don’t understand, when you died, Dean was, he was lost. He locked himself in his room and played this tape over and over again, I could hear him crying. His longing for you was so loud and so strong I couldn’t handle it. He hated me, he blamed me for your death, so I knew that the only way to get him to like me would to bring back the person he was grieving, the person he was longing for.”

Castiel sighed, “perhaps if someone could find out his feelings in regards to us, Dean and I, then I would be willing to discuss it with him. But I can’t put myself out there and then have him hate me for it.”

Jack nodded, face set in determination.

“There’s one more place I want to show you, then we can go home.”

Cas nods, letting Jack touch his hand to bring them to a dark hallway, the bunker.

“You are a human here, when you lost your grace. Dean let you stay, and you had nightmares about what Metatron did to you. You couldn’t sleep. One night the dream was so bad you woke up screaming, Dean came running in with a gun, afraid someone was trying to hurt you. Well, just watch what happens,” Jack says, transporting them to the corner of Cas’ room in the bunker.

They watched as Dean tossed his gun on the nightstand next to Cas’ bed.

“Are you okay man?”

“Yes, Dean, I was just having a nightmare, I believe that is what humans call bad dreams. I am fine.”

Dean nodded, “you didn’t sound fine.”

“Trust me Dean, I am okay.”

Dean nods and Castiel tucks himself back into his covers, head facing away from Dean.

“Goodnight Cas,” Dean says, picking up his gun before starting for the door.

“Stay,” they hear Castiel whisper from his position on the bed, tears slowly rolling down his face.

“Cas, I got you, nightmares suck, but I’m here, I got you” Dean says, slipping into the bed next to Cas, hesitantly pulling the blankets over himself as well.

Jack and Castiel watch as this version of Cas scooches closer to Dean, turning to face him.

“Oh Cas, don’t cry, it’s okay,” Dean whispers, using a thumb to wipe the tears on his cheeks.

“They’re so bad Dean, I don’t want to sleep, I can’t, I don’t want to dream.”

“Shh, I got you Cas, you need to sleep, just think of something nice, something happy, your favorite memory. I got you,” Dean says, one arm wrapping around Cas, pulling his body closer so the shorter man could rest his head against Dean’s chest.

“Thank you Dean,” Castiel whispers, smiling contently into Dean’s chest.

Jack smiles at Castiel before bringing them back to the hotel room.

***

Right when they sat back down on the couch, Sam and Dean walked in with food and beer.

“Hey guys, get into any trouble while we were away?” Dean jokes, placing the six-pack on the table in front of the couch.

Castiel and Jack share a knowing glance but both shake their head.

“Hey Sam, I have a question for you, about this case, do you mind taking me to the library?” Castiel asks, knowingly giving Jack an opportunity to talk to Dean.

“I could take you Cas,” Dean starts but Sam tells him that he’s better suited for the library.

Dean frowned but dropped down onto the couch, digging into his food.

“Hey Dean, I have a question for you,” Jack starts, hoping not to mess this up.

“Shoot kid,” Dean says, taking a gulp of his beer. When Jack looks at him curiously he rolls his eyes, “go ahead,” he forgot that Jack’s like Castiel when he first met them, no idea what their lingo meant.

“When Cas died, I know that hurt you a lot, and Sam was telling me that you were only mad at me because you blamed me for Cas’ death,” Jack begins.

“Where is this coming from? What’s the question?” Dean asks, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

“Well, I sort of felt your longing. Your pain. And Sam’s pain. But your pain’s were different, Sam missed Mary more, and you were really upset about Castiel. I tried to ask Sam but he only told me that there are different kinds of loves and that I should come to you for answers.”

Dean nearly choked on the food in his mouth, “that’s all he said?”

Jack nodded, “That’s why I brought Castiel back. Because he helped my mom. And because I felt your love for him.”

“Jack, I don’t think you really know what you’re talking about,” Dean tries to say but Jack interrupts.

“But I can feel your love for different people Dean. Your love for Sam and your love for Castiel are different. You love Sam and your mom but that’s because they are your family. Castiel is your family, yes, but you love him differently.”

“For a 6 month old you sure do act like you know a lot.”

“That’s because I do,” Jack stated a matter of factly, “Why don’t you tell Castiel about your love for him? Is it because he’s an angel? Because you think he doesn’t love you back? Because he is currently in a male vessel?”

Dean can’t help the blush creeping up his cheeks, he’s beginning to panic. This kid was a handful most of the time but he wasn’t expecting this.

“Jack, you’re right, the way I love Castiel and the way I love my mom and Sammy are different. And I don’t care that he’s an angel. Except for the fact that angels don’t have feelings so even if I wanted him to love me back, that’s an IF, I know he couldn’t so I can’t tell him, because it will only leave me upset and him confused.”

“Castiel told me not to tell you, but, I don’t know how much longer I can see you two, ‘beating around the bush’ as Sam calls it. But Dean, I can see the way he looks at you, his longing for you when he came back to Earth was so strong I could almost feel that exact same longing. I honestly don’t know why you didn’t figure this out years ago, in most other universes you have. Castiel says it just wasn’t meant to be in this universe, but I do not believe that is true. I think that if you two will talk to each other instead of using a third person such as myself or Sam then you will be able to resolve your issues a lot quicker.”

Dean let out a long groan, his mind reeling with all the information Jack just spilled to him. Cas, Cas felt the same way? Of course Dean was scared shitless, he’s never had feelings for a dude before, he’s never felt like this about anyone before, not Cassie, not even Lisa.

“Dean, I can assure you that nobody would really care if you were dating Castiel, he is in a male vessel, but angels do not have genders. They take on the form of whatever vessel they enter. Would you love him more if he was in a female vessel?”

“No! This Cas, he’s who, who I’ve, damn it, fallen in love with. I don’t care that he’s a dude damn it.”

******

When Castiel got outside with Sam, he gave him a knowing grin.

“Why the face Sam?” Castiel asks as they slide into the Impala and drive onto the road.

“Jack just let me know about his little plan. I was too chicken shit to ever really try to get you two to truly talk to each other. Jack didn’t seem to mind taking up that role.”

“So you knew?”

Sam laughs, “yes, Cas, I know.”

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed together, “but, I, how?”

“Cas, I know my brother better than anybody, I see the way he looks at you. How he acts every time he’s lost you. He listened to your mixtape hundreds of times when you were dead. I caught him holding onto your trench coat while sleeping a few nights. He was devastated, he didn’t want to let that piece of you go. He really thought he lost you. And when you came back, he’s the happiest I’ve seen him in a really long time. And Cas, you aren’t really good at keeping the staring to a minimum, Dean might not notice, but everyone else in the room does.”

Castiel frowns, “I suppose you are right. I don’t really need to go to the library, I just wanted to give Jack a moment to talk to Dean.”

Sam nods, “Yeah, I know.”

Sam’s phone rang then and he answered, putting him on speakerphone, “hey Dean, what’s up?”

“Heya Sammy, do you mind swinging back to the motel? It’s important.”

Sam glances over at Castiel, who has a dopey grin spreading across his face.

“Of course Dean, we’ll be right back,” he says before hanging up.

“That was fast.”

“About time too,” Sam says, swinging into a parking lot to turn around and drive back to the motel.

“Wait, Sam, what do I tell him? What do I do?”

Sam laughs, glancing at the scared looking angel in the passenger seat, “come on Cas, what do you think? ‘I love you’ would be a good start.”

Cas nods, hands fiddling on his lap, cheeks burning up.

When they get to the motel, Sam all but has to drag Castiel out of the Impala and to the door of their room.

Before they get the chance to open it, the door swings open, and Jack is standing there with a dopey grin on his face, remarkably similar to Castiel’s earlier expression.

“Hi Castiel, sorry, Dean just has something important he needs to tell you,” Jack says, moving out of the doorway to reveal a blushing Dean who had his hands shoved in his jean pockets and was staring at a particular spot on his shoe.

“Say it Dean,” Sam chides in, looking like he was going to burst out laughing any second.

“Shut the hell up Sammy,” Dean mumbles.

“Dean, you don’t need to say anything, I realize that the feelings of affection I have for you are not mutual and you do not need to feel bad about not feeling the same way. I understand,” Castiel starts.

“Shut up Cas,” Dean says, “just,”

He grabs Castiel by the lapels of his stupid ugly trenchcoat and pulls him so they are inches apart.

“Shut,”

He quickly kisses Cas, couldn’t have been more than a second.

“The”

He kisses him again, this time, taking a few seconds longer. Feeling Cas’ lips against his own.

“Hell,”

This time Castiel grabs the back of his head and their lips smash together. Dean fumbles for a second, not used to the feeling of stumble and hardened features against him.

“Up,” Dean whispers as Castiel pulls away.

“That’s what people do when they love each other,” Jack says, causing the pair to break apart completely.

“Jack, why don’t you help me out at the library? Maybe we can pick you up your own suit after,” Sam suggests and Jack nods.

“Do they need their special time? Like you said you sometimes need and I shouldn’t bother you?” Jack asks innocently.

Sam’s red face could’ve set someone on fire and Dean nearly doubled over laughing before Sam pulled Jack away and slammed the door in their faces.

“So, Cas, what were those universes like?”

“You really want to know?”

“Hell yeah man, come on,” Dean says, pulling Castiel towards the couch with him, plopping down and taking a swig of his beer.

“Well, the first one was somewhat like this. We were in a house, a beautiful house, blue with yellow trim and…”

And Dean let Castiel tell him every single detail of each universe he visited. From the dumb color of their ‘house’ to the way Dean blushed when Castiel kissed him on the cheek. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend the day than sitting close to Castiel, hands intertwined, while he rambled on and on about their lives in other universes.