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astringofmadhousefloozies · 3 years

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Nickèd Names

Yuu finally learns who her funny Horned Boy is. This one takes place just after the ghost wedding. Content warning for coarse language and frank talk of bodily functions.

As always, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, and don’t be afeared to send me a message if you enjoyed something!

~*~*~*~

"You're finally back in class?"

You nodded at Deuce. "Stopped pissing blood every time I sneezed, so I'm back."

There's much to be said for kissing pretty ghost girls, but the main drawback is that when you do, you immediately, catastrophically hemorrhage from every pore as all your organs fail, and even with magical healing, you're still bedridden for a week. You wouldn't be doing that again. Maybe. Eliza was very cute.

"You're back. Excellent." Trein dropped a stack of papers in front of you. "Here's the work you missed."

You blinked up at him in horror. "Professor, I nearly died."

He stared back, face impassive. "You nearly did. And I'm fond of your work ethic. That's why you get this instead of a fail."

"... I'll take that."

~*~*~*~

It's after dark, so he should be along any time now. You set your phone down and wait.

True to form, your funny horned boy is soon sitting on the railing of your balcony, smiling at you. "You're all better now?"

"Better-ish." You might never get to stop taking those pills and supplements. "Why didn't you come by the room?"

"You don't know that I didn't. You slept a fair deal."

"Rude. Let's walk."

~*~*~*~

You're too tired to try the woods, so you're both slowly picking your way around the dorm grounds, your pretty horned boy keeping an eye that you don't trip. You could count the times he's touched you on one hand; when you asked, he said he didn't want to be rude. Perhaps he wasn't as fond of you as he seemed.

A buzz from your phone, Ortho wanted a symptoms check-in. You tapped back that you're fine, and your boy peered over your shoulder, leaning this way and that. Curiosity took the better of you.

"... You do know what a phone is, right?"

He chuckled. "Of course I do, my child of man. Not all technology is unknown in my homeland."

"Do you have one? I can give you my number."

He shook his head. "After I broke my last one, we decided it really wasn't necessary."

"You can replace them, you know."

"It was my... fifth?" He started counting on his hands. "No, sixth. They're delicate. After going through that many in as many weeks, we simply canceled the contract."

Your eyebrows went up through no effort of your own. "Jesus, you have the dropsies that bad?"

"The what?"

"Dropsies.” You mimed opening your hand, dropping something. “You dropped them."

"The first one went that way. Most simply shattered when I pressed the screen too hard, and one Lilia threw against a wall."

You decided to ask Lilia how he know your boy later. "Why'd he do that?"

"I tried to download a game and got, in his words, 'so many viruses.' " He seemed rather proud of himself. "They clearly weren't bad ones, I did not cough once."

"No, honey, that's not how that-" Even in the gloom, you saw he'd turned an alarming shade of red, and you backtracked. "Uh, you want to see anything on mine? I have pictures."

"Only if you don't hand me it."

~*~*~*~

"So there is a camera on this?"

"Yeah, most phones have them. Watch." You opened the camera, and hit the button so that the front camera was on, reflecting your spotty face and a wide-eyed faerie boy behind you. "This one's for selfies."

He made a face of pure confusion, and you hit the button to capture it, and showed him.

"Could you... not do that again? It's not proper."

"You know it doesn't steal your soul, right?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but again, sheer confusion stopped him until he gathered himself. "You always surprise me. But no, it's that... portraits are a formal thing. You shouldn't share that."

You blinked up at him with your best, sweetest face. "Is this just because you don't want me to ask around for your proper name with it?"

he stopped, blinked, inclined his head. "That didn't occur to me until now, but yes."

"I'll keep it to myself, I promise," you lied, and he believed you, and therefore did not hex your phone when he returned you to your room.

~*~*~*~

It was only partially a lie; you didn't actually show it to anyone. You simply set the picture of you both as your lockscreen, so you could enjoy it anytime. And this was what got Ace staring at your phone like it started sprouting feathers and clucking.

"Why do you have a picture of yourself with Malleus Draconia?"

Ah, so that’s it, you thought to yourself. "Who? That's my Horny Boy."

"what"

"Yeah, he said I could call him whatever I wanted because names are special and he's kind of a dumbass and let me."

Ace put an arm around your shoulder. "Yuu, I need to tell you why that is the second stupidest thing you've done in your life."

~*~*~*~

"He's not scary. You're clearly mistaken."

Ace flailed, halfway between exasperation and disbelief. "He's the strongest magic user in the school! Fifth strongest in the world! He is the Prince of Thorns and a big scary dragon and could kill you in the blink of an eye."

You frowned at him. "He is a great big loser who likes gargoyles and has zero clue about anything, ever. Have you ever actually talked to him?"

Ace gave you his best are-you-fucking-stupid-or-something face. "Of course not. He's also a third year, on top of everything else. I don't want to get turned into a rose bush or something."

"He's actually very easy to talk to. Probably because everyone's too scared to talk to him."You paused. "I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Nope!" Ace pulled you back in to your seat. "What if you curses you because you know his real name?"

"I highly doubt that. Let me go, Ace."

He smirked at you. "If you wanna go so bad then pull away."

"You know I can't do that, Ace." You're still too weak from your sickroom stay. "If you want me to stay, fine."

So you sat on his lap with a heavy flop, and watched him wince in pain. Even with all the weight lost from your illness, you're still too heavy for him. But he, stubborn brat, still gripped your arm and glared at you.

A battle of wills, one overweight brat and one stubborn weakling, rapidly losing sensation in his legs. "You're not going. I can stay here all day. You'll get bored before I do."

He's not wrong, but you have a secret weapon. "Keep me here and I'll fart on you."

He narrowed his eyes at you. "You can not fart on command."

You leaned over. "You don't know that. For all you know I had cabbage rolls for lunch and it's been brewing all day. You really wanna try me, Trappola?"

He did not want to try you, and, let you go with a grunt of disgust. "If you die, it's not my fault!"

"I'm not gonna die!"

"You said that about the ghost princess!"

"Is everyone going to hold that against me now?"

"YES!"

~*~*~*~

You found your horned boy in a pissing match with Kingscholar, and you decided to be as petty and obnoxious as possible. Walking up behind him - Malleus, what a pretty, pretty name for a witch boy - You simply wrapped your arms around his middle and squeezed, while he froze in place posed like a cowboy about to draw.

Leona started snickering. "Really? You get that few hugs in your life?"

"Shush." You peered under Malleus's arm, while he looked down at you. "Malleus? Can we talk a moment?"

Interesting. He could turn even paler than what he was.

~*~*~*~

"So the entire reason you didn't share who you were is that you thought I wouldn't want to hang out any more."

He nodded. "Most people are afraid of who I am. And you have generally unkind things to say about monarchies, as it is. I did not think you would take the prince thing kindly."

"Well." You shrugged. "Now I know why you kept taking notes whenever I started on that."

"You have many interesting things to say about it!" He brightened considerably. "I couldn't have a shift to elections within my lifetime, obviously, but much of it would be great to try implementing."

"Wouldn't your big scary grandma have anything to say about that?"

His smile was thin, but genuine. "She has much to say on most topics. But, if she did not want me to be exposed to new ideas, she could have simply kept me at home and continued with my private tutors."

You couldn't argue with that. "One last thing, Malleus."

He tilted his head slightly, face faintly pink. How could anyone be scared of him? He's so adorable it's enough to make you sick.

"I don't think I'll call you Horned Boy anymore, now that I know your more proper name."

He looked... disappointed, and you continued. "Mal's a little better for a nickname, yeah? Less of a mouthful."

He made a small noise, considering, before brightening. "Anything that you call me is perfection, my friend."

#twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #ace trappola

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cherry-flavoured-thot · 4 years

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I got a request for Twisted Wonderland! What if there was a snow sculpture contest between all the dorms? Which of the heads are gonna be more competitive or creative? (Or straight up wreck the other snow sculptures)

Competitive - Heartslabyul, Octavinelle (can be placed in the third category)

Creative - Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Scarabia (also can be put in the third category)

What are we meant to be doing exactly? - Savanaclaw, Diasomnia

Heartslabyul actually manages to put together a cool looking snow sculpture, despite how often it have to be defended from Floyd who was going around throwing snowballs at people at random because he thought it was funny watching everyone scramble out of the way. Riddle has everyone involved and doing a certain job, although on occasion he has to yell at Ace and Deuce who are drawing bad caricatures of each other in the snow.

Savanaclaw is on its own, because Leona could not careless about this competition and in fact disappeared about ten minutes in because he was too cold and wanted to go take a nap somewhere warm, and a lot of other Savanaclaw students followed suit disappearing instead of participating. Ruggie decides to stay and ends up in charge despite having no idea what he’s doing, Savanaclaw’s sculpture ends up looking like a hot mess so they just decide to try and destroy everyone elses.

Azul isn’t entirely how to make a snow sculpture, but he refuses to allow Octavinelle lose and as a result ends up taking this very seriously. He sends Jade to observes what the other dorms are doing and lets Floyd do whatever he pleases, which is just cause chaos for everyone else while ordering around students in the dorm to create a snow sculpture.

Scarabia is confused because Kalim is being extra and doesn’t want to build just one snow sculpture but multiple, Jamil, who already predicted the headache that was about to occur the moment this competition was mentioned starts separating the dorm into small units to build the sculptures. Jamil despite all of his sighing at Kalim’s ideas does want to win, so he keeps guard to scare of anybody trying to spy on the dorm or destroy their hard work.

Pomefiore is going for a more creative route, as Vil doesn’t actually care about winning but he refuses to have any creation from his dorm looking sloppy, so everyone is working meticulously on their snow sculpture. Despite not caring about winning it doesn’t stop him from listening in intently to Rook, who has been monitoring what all the other dorms are trying to create.

Ignihyde are all just vibin’ like sure Idia and half of his dorm don’t really want to be outside but if they have to make a snow sculpture they can at least make it look epic right? No one knows how they did it, but their sculpture ends up glowing and spitting fire without the snow melting, Idia and Ortho were also going to see if they could make it move but were told absolutely not to due to the possible chaos it could create.

Does Diasomnia actually understand what snow sculptures are or the purpose of making them? No not at all. But Malleus said that they should make Gargoyle out of snow, so now that whole dorm is doing their absolute best to make their dorm head what he wants. Lilia thinks it’s incredibly amusing watching Sebek desperately try and order everyone around despite everyone having absolutely zero coordination when it comes to making snow sculptures, but in the end just decides to make one out of magic after their first attempt was demolished by Savanaclaw.

#twisted wonderland #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #octavinelle #scarabia #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #leona kingscholar #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #twst #twst headcanons #my writing tag #headcanons

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inventors-fair · 3 years

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First Name, Last Name, Occupation Commentary

You guys really swung for the fences for this one. I was inspired to run this by fun little cards like Cat Warriors, Goblin Assassin, and Dragon Turtle. Cards that do one type by way of another. You guys, for the most part, tried to get as weird as possible, more akin to Urza’s Saga. I purposefully left it open ended to allow non-creatures, but I did not expect about half the cards to be a type other than creature. Some people in the Discord tried to break the rules even more than that. Personally, I wish there were more simple creatures, but I’m happy with what I got.

So without further ado, here’s the commentary! They’re alphabetical by submitter’s tumblr name or preferred credit.

@alextfish - Fractal Fish

Holy moly that’s some fish, visually and mechanically. So let me try to parse this: the first time, you attack, get two fish, then next time you turn those two fish (which hopefully also got in for damage) into two counters. So every other turn it doubles the number of counters, assuming you get in with it every time. At a minimum, it’s a little Tana/Living Hive that can’t be used moe than once. It feels weird for this effect to be in blue, though I get why from a flavor perspective. This does feel like a fish, though, and it definitely feels like a fractal. This card feels top down, which is fine, but I’m just not super into it. It feels unnecessarily complex for an effect that you probably only want to trigger once, maybe twice. I still think it’s really cool.

Allie - Urza’s Treasure

It’s a bit of a stretch to have a land named “Urza’s Treasure” but it’s less of a stretch than urza’s saga, so you’re good. The idea of a treasure land in general is cool to me: it’s worse than Tendo Ice Bridge and Aether Hub, but the artifact synergy is notable. Then we get to the last ability: this card is a mox opal. Or maybe a glimmer void? There are a lot of comparisons, but I don’t know which is the most appropriate. A land that effectively doesn’t tap for mana unless you have metalcraft seems awful, but I’ve seen enough affinity to know that that won’t slow it down a bit. So this is essentially a card that’s only good for broken decks, and honestly, I don’t think they need the help. I think the fact that it’s so all or nothing is a bit of a deal breaker. Every part of this card is either massive downside, massive upside, or both. You could argue that makes it balanced, but I’d argue it just makes it broken. I also wish the “Urza’s” part of the typeline played into it more, but I realize the type doesn’t have much of a mechanical throughline.

@arixordragc - Warrior Dragon

Ooh, a bold choice. Dragon Warrior and Warrior Dragon send two completely different feels, and this one is definitely the cooler one. Six mana 6/6 flyer is a good rate, but not so good it doesn’t get good abilities. The abilities it gets are a ghostly prison and two circle of flames. I really like how they both have a similar feels: 2 damage and two mana. However, I think the two abilities are att odds. If you need one, you probably don’t need the other. If your opponent has a lot of 1/1 or 2/2 creatures, they won’t be able to pay 2 for each them, and if they do, they’d just die. The damage does have a little bit of meaning, though, because if they attack with a big creature you don’t have to deals as much damage to it. I also just would have expected a warrior dragon to be more offensive than defensive. This feels more like a guard or defender rather than a warrior. So it might be better to have one be offense and one be defensive. Perhaps one ability could affect blockers and one attackers? This is a good card, and a cool set of effects, I just think it needs to work on multiple angles. I also think this could be a rare: it’s not so powerful you wouldn’t want it appearing more often in packs, and it’s not too complex.

@bread-into-toast - Zombie Mole

I like the flavor of a zombie mole, since it’s already in the dirt. I do think this sounds better than your original entry, Graveborn Mole, but I think the old one told a more complete story. The card itself is pretty neat, it’s a classic red black aggro card with a big body and a risk payoff. There’s some stuff I don’t like about it. First, sacrificing a land is one of those things that players don’t realize how bad it is for you, so this could lead to a lot of players screwing themselves over, especially if it’s as uncommon. Second, the fact that it can be recast with it’s own trigger, such as when you attack, sac a land, let it die, and then get it back because you had a land die is a bit too synergistic, especially because it gets him back untapped. This means that you have a 5/5 on turn two that if you somehow get to kill by blocking they can just pay two to save and untap it. Again, at uncommon, this is very strong, even if the downside is also very strong. The design as a whole is pretty cool, but I think it’s going to lead to a lot of unhappy players on one or both sides of the field. As a final note, I really liked that you put some art direction in the submission (for those at home, it said “Mood: a giant undead mole attacks, startling the giant (living) moles and miners around it”). It’s a cool way to get a lot of the benefits of art without having to make your own or go hunting.

@charmera - Giant Golem Knight

I think the name here is pretty close. It feels a little awkward to say, but I’ve seen worse. The card is a little weak and a little poorly templated, but nothing that can’t be fixed. For the templating issue, I think telling a player they can’t do something then telling them they can in a different place doesn’t work. Cards like Manor Gargoyle that do this just remove Defender. Since this also says can’t block, though, you’d need something different. I might suggest just changing it to “~ can’t attack or block unless you sacrificed an artifact this turn.” It would power it up just a little in the process, but I think that’s called for. A 6 mana 6/7 is not really above the curve, and the activated ability is hard enough to activate that it doesn’t really pump up the power level of the card as a whole. Vigilance also seems weird on a card that needs to pay to both attack and block. I could see a specific format being able to break this card, but as something you’d see in a core set, it would need a lot of support to see play. I really like the design and concept, it just needs to be rebalanced a bit.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion - Arcane Trap

So, this one is interesting to me. The base rate on this card is good. Glimmer of Genius and Glimpse the multiverse are both super playable and both have a little something extra. In this case, the little something extra is the trap text, and the idea of repeating this card with arcane spells is pretty enticing for the decks that would play it. But there’s something missing here: the trap text doesn’t feel trappy. It’s a bonus, sure, but if you look at all of the existing traps in the game, the difference between hard casting and trap casting is usually massive, sometimes the entire cost! This instead reminds me more of “gotcha!” from unhinged, where the punishment for a player doing something is that you get a card back from your graveyard. It also doesn’t feel very trap-like because it doesn’t punish a player doing the trap-thing. Usually if an opponent is drawing cards it’s a good idea to out-draw them, and splicing helps with that, but it’s not like this is the “ha, you fool!” card that most traps are. It’s just a little bonus. Like when your opponent adds to your storm count. Functionally, I think this card is cool and feels unique, but doesn’t quite feel like it’s representing its types well. Also, nice job giving trap card art to a trap card.

@davriel-canes-tea-supplier - Hellion Demon

You did this for the pun and you know it. Demon straight out of hell...ion. I’d love to see what this guy would end up looking like (not gonna dock points for that or anything, just on my mind). So first, the templating. You don’t need to tell them to sacrifice a totla of X, since X is undefined at that point. You can just say “you may sacrifice any number of creatures. If you do, ~ gets +X/+X until end of turn and deals X damage to target creature you don’t control, where X is the total power of creatures sacrificed this way.” I also might suggest swapping it to a reflexive trigger, AKA swapping “if you do” with “when you do,” which means your opponent will be able to respond after knowing what you sacrificed. Right now, you could target one of their creatures on attacking, then they wouldn’t know what you’re sacing to do it until after they decide if they want to protect their creature. Then again, maybe that’s for the best, since it would also mean if they bounce their own creature in response, you don’t have to sacrifice anything because it wouldn’t do anything. And actually the trigger would be stifled anyway because it has no targets, which is awkward if you were planning to just use it as a pump. What I’m trying to say is that this card has an incredibly complex trigger with a lot of pieces going on. I think it might be worth it, though, because this is a cool effect. A mix between a fling and a nantuko shade effect. It’s a really cool concept, but it’s doing so much that it doesn’t do a great job at mimicking either, and in the end I just wish it had two different abilities that were linked or something easier to parse.

@Deg99 - Instant Trap

Okay, this is a silly card, and I’ll judge it as such. The blue = water is flavorfully pretty fun and funny, but color hate is always going to perform a little weird. But traps are famous for that! Usually, though, traps care about colors if they are built to be good against that color, and in this case, maybe? I don’t know if casting a free trap is particularly good against blue, so I’m firmly putting the trap text in trinket text land. The card itself does exactly what you’d expect. It tutors and plays a trap. Instantly. None of the traps in the game are super powerful, so you’re kind of avoiding the usual tutor issue of always searching for the same card / having exactly one tutor target that’s good. This is especially cool because the traps are by design extremely situational, so having this as a toolbox option is actually kind of useful. I think you’d usually end up getting needlebite trap, lavaball trap, or maybe mindbreak trap because it would be good in the matchup anyway. As a whole, this card is both kind of silly and kind of cool. I like it, but I wish there was some way to make this more interesting.

@demimonde-semigoddess - Droning Licid

Wait a second, did you just make licids make sense? Putting bestow on a licid makes it feel just like a licid. Turning drone into droning is pretty clever, though you got the types backwards on the typeline. Granting abilities not on the normal creature is something we saw just the barest amount of bestow cards back in OG Theros block. The eldraziness of it I wish was more relevant. I love the idea of using colorless as the alternate cost, since colorless is sort of treated like a bonus, not a given, especially in limited. But the two abilities need keywords. I played that block a lot, and even I kind of forgot what they did. It’s also weird that it grants devoid, but doesn’t have it itself. You could have even given it a colorless mana cost, since nothing it does is particularly black. Every ability on the card was in every color (yes, even devoid, you know what I mean). If this was a purely colorless card it’d be cool, but it’s fine in black. This card has a lot of things meant to make other things easier (enchantments for constellation, devoid for colorless matters, ingest for processing, bestow for heroic), so I’m super curious what set this would go in! But in a normal set, this is just a really weird card. I still think it’s neat, and again I’ll reiterate I’m happy you made a sensible licid, I’m just a little confused by its existence.

@dimestoretajic - Hag Fish

A hag fish is a real thing, and a hag that is a fish is what we have here. This card seems pretty powerful. It’s somewhere between a thallid and a tendershoot dryad and an ant queen. I wish the slime counters had some other use, like granting hexproof or unblockable or something. It would up the power level, which I don’t think this card needs, but it would make it feel more like it was slime on her rather than slime coming off of here. On a grander design level, I think this card requires a lot of paying attention for very little benefit. You get slime counters quickly enough you’ll rarely run out of them, but you will just often enough that you do. The tokens have evolve, which is a hard trigger to remember some times, especially on tokens that you might not have printed versions of. Plus, putting dice on tokens is also hard, since some players use dice for tokens. So while the card’s flavor and concept is pretty cool, I think it’s too complex for how simple it wants to be.

@fractured-infinity - Treasure Goblin

I’ve been told this is a reference, but sadly I don’t get it. Instead, I get golden goblins. The fail state on this card is still pretty good. A 2/1 haste for two mana ain’t nothing! And just using it as a bad skirk prospector can be useful too. I like the utility of it, too, in that once you are unable to attack with it as a 2/1, you can sacrifice it for mana to power out a flying dragon or something. This card isn’t super exciting, but it certainly gets the job done.

@gollumni - Gold Drake

Gold: the long lost parent of treasure. I didn’t even know that it had been errata'd to be its own artifact type. Anyway, the card itself is a reference to gilded drake. It even got hit by the card Gild! However, gilded drake is a super broken card! This is worse in the sense that it costs one extra mana and you ramp your opponent, but the artifact typing makes it easier to tutor and cheat into play, or to kill. Also, the way the last ability is phrased, I think you can sacrifice it to the gold ability and still get your opponent’s creature. If it said “exchange,” it wouldn’t, because exchanging needs both things in play. So this is a three mana permanent control magic that gives you one mana back immediately. I don’t think that was the intent.

@grornt - Skeleton Samurai

Now that is a skeleton samurai! It reanimates itself like a skeleton, it bushidos like a samurai. Three mana feels pretty good for it, since it fights as a 4/3. Now, normally, skeletons enter the battlefield tapped, but I understand not wanting to do that here. After all, it’s got bushido, blocking is a huge part of that! But the reason cards like this enter tapped is to stop you from blocking with it every turn and stonewalling your opponent. But how often is that? Well, this is where it gets tricky. Depending on the standard format, losing life on your own turn is either something you have to build around or effortless. In formats with shocklands, painlands, fetchlands, or even a single mana confluence, you’ll be casting this essentially for free. So assuming it’s in something like current standard, where it’s a little tough, maybe this guy is okay. I just worry about a 4/3 blocker that can’t be easily killed. But I guess that’s why you put it at rare, which was a good choice, but I think almost every player would be disappointed to find this creature as their rare. I do love the name and effects of this card as a pair, but I think it could lead to frustrating games.

@helloijustreadyourpost - Phyrexian Druid

This card has a lot of style and flair, but I’m a little cautious of it. A good comparison point for this card is Oasis Ritualist. Both can tap for one mana or two mana but at a higher cost. The mana cost and body are an important difference, and I think might balance each other out, as well as the fact that the phyrexian can only tap for green or green black. I do like that it implies that the set leans black, which feels right for return to new phyrexia. I’m having a little bit of difficulty judging power level: the life payment doesn’t really power down the card that much, but we’ve seen double ramp at 3 mana before, albeit never this versatile or at common. Still, maybe it’s fine in 2021 magic? After all, this is new phyrexia we’re talking about. Speaking of, I like how the life payment mimics phyrexian mana, and specifically phyrexian black mana. That’s a cool bonus for experienced players. I think this is a very well designed card, but I’d be very scared to print it unless I was certain there weren’t any green 6 drops at common that would be oppressive to the format when played on turn 3.

@hypexion - Skeleton Knight

Undead in white are something I wish we’d see more of. The idea of duty extending beyond life feels super white, but is only ever represented in spirits. But here we have a skeleton! I like the base body, and it does feel pretty skeletonny, though the knight aspect is a little weak. Vigilance is cool but at 1 toughness I don’t know how often it will be able to attack and still block. The reanimation clause is also a little funky, since it returns it to play on attacks, but doesn’t put it into play attacking as I’d expect. It’s also odd that it comes back tapped, though for gameplay reasons I understand. You don’t want to give players a creature that can block for free every turn. Templating-wise, I should also bring up that there needs to be and “if ~ is in your graveyard” between the words “knights” and “you may.” I’m using cards like Auntie’s Snitch and Master of Death for reference there. My final thoughts on the card is that it’s fine, but the two types don’t mesh as well together as I had hoped.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes - Spirit Shade

What a strange little creature. Shades are weird, because their signature ability is incredibly powerful and they need a pretty big downside to make them balanced. In your case, tying them to swamps is pretty clever! They already like swamps because of their heavy black costs, so this is a cool way to reinforce that. I still think this is pretty aggressive for a common, but I might be being a little too cautious. My bigger complaint is how awkwardly the sludge counters feel. This is a creature who’s already going to be tough to track since it’s constantly changing P/T, so having counters on it that change a bunch is a lot of complexity, especially at common. If there were also +1/+1 counters in this set, this card would be impossible to track in paper. I also think I would have preferred the name the other way around, but I’ll admit that’s a preference. I like this card in general, but I wish it were more player-friendly.

@loreholdlesbian - Sand Elemental

Sand is a creature type not a lot of people expected, but I have a friend with a Hazezon Tamar deck so I knew. It’s a really clever answer to the prompt, especially since you’re using the word “sand” as an adjective, but it is still also made out of sand! A colorless 3 mana 3/2 is good power level for a common I think, and the ability on it is tough enough to make work that it doesn’t push the card too hard. The fact that it’s asking you to pay 7 mana also means that, so long as you have at least a few deserts in your deck, you’re probably going to have one in play or in your graveyard. The graveyard clause fits the theme of other desert cards, but I don’t know if you’d need in a theoretical future set with deserts. Their inclusion in Amonkhet block was mostly so players wouldn’t feel bad for cycling their deserts in the early game. But hey, maybe that’s just what deserts are now! So as a whole I think this card is pretty well designed, if a bit bland, but it works well with the theme of the week and possibly the set it's in. Good work!

@morbidlyqueerious - Nightmare Spider

This card has a lot going on. The name feels okay. It’s a little odd, but it works in context. The ability feels creepy and scary, which is both a nightmare thing and a spider thing, but a spider without reach will always feel strange. As the for the ability, it needs a little work. There’s some strangeness with the revealing. It only really matters during a multiplayer game, otherwise just revealing every draw would be simpler and save some text, which I think this card needs. Second is the split payment: you lose 1 life, but you also pay two mana. One is optional, one isn’t, and one is 1 and one is 2. I could see this getting confusing to players. I could see swapping some things around to either make them all optional, all life, and/or all 2’s. Lastly, and this is the important one, this card isn’t fun. WotC is pretty solid on not wanting fateseal effects in the game. It makes what is already a frustrating part of the game (the variance of topdecking) into a more frustrating part. Because of the mana payment, is also means that both players will probably end up doing nothing on their turn. The fact that it can’t hit lands is actually kind of odd. Often that’s what you’ll be doing with this card anyway: forcing them to draw lands. I also sort of wish you would have swapped the P/T. I know spiders usually have higher toughnesses, but I’d like this card if it were easily killable but would end the game quickly if it really did take control of the game. Plus, the fact that you keep losing life regardless of if you pay the two means this kind of has a downside that would be more fitting on an aggro card. So while I think it fits the theme of the contest pretty well, and flavorfully it feels very nightmarish and spidery, I worry that it’s too complex and could lead to frustrating games.

@nicolbolas96 - Urza’s Fortification

This is… a weird one. So, you have made a land that can attach to other lands. I would be much more okay with that if it couldn’t still tap for mana. As is, it performs more like soulbond, since both things can still do the same stuff, they just get a little better. I’d also like it to turn off the original because the ability it’s granting is bonkers. Paying three mana to turn a land into a tolarian academy is an incredibly low cost. The land itself being an artifact also means you don’t even get the normal downside of tolarian academy not tapping for anything if you don’t have another artifact. You can even attach it to a land, tap that land for mana, then use some of that mana to tap another land. This means once you have four other artifacts, each of your lands tap for two mana or more. Being legendary and coming into play tapped isn’t enough of a downside for that. This would be strong even in a modern horizons set. I will say this: I do love the flavor. This really feels like an Urza’s land, which is not easy to do. The idea of a land that moves to other lands and is also a machine somehow feels cool and flavorful, too.

@nine-effing-hells - Constructed Cleric

Remember when they printed an artifact cleric in Guild of Ravnica and no one knows why? Well, here’s a robot cleric that feels more clericy. The name is a great fit, and I love the flavor of it. The twobrid mana symbols are a cool way to make it feel more artifacty, but I think they weren’t particularly necessary. No one is going to play this in a colorless deck, and splashing for it doesn’t seem worth the effort. The difference between 4 and 8 mana for the activated ability is huge. So yes, I think this card would see play almost exclusively in mono-white decks. And how is it there? Pretty good! Granting lifelink to your whole board every turn is very powerful, it makes it nearly impossible to race, but you do need at least a bit of a board. I think this is a solic card in a lot of decks, pretty well balanced, so far as I can tell, and the only real issue I have with it is how weird the twobrid is in it.

@pocketvikings - Hamster Advisor

What a pleasant little fellow. Not something I’d normally expect to see in MtG, but I’ll let it slide. I wish there were some flavor text explaining what he’s advising me on. Is he just telling me not to eat my food? So this card is very similar to the card Tajurur Preserver, what with being two green and preventing sac effects (primarily a counter to annihilator), but this guy has the upside of making a food but the downside of turning off your own food. I might suggest using that card’s templating or Angel of Jubilation’s templating. Maybe “You can’t sacrifice permanents or discard cards to activate abilities,” then on another ability the text from Tajurur preserver but with discard added on. It seems strange to see this card at uncommon, since it feels mostly like it’s protecting you from very specific effects that may or may not be in the format. It’s actually a pretty big downside in some decks, like turning off fetchlands, and of course if you’re playing this in a food deck you won’t want in play for long. That’s cool, and we’ve seen that on some black cards like Priest of the Blood Rite. I think this card feels out of place in a lot of formats and a lot of decks in particular, but I’m interested in the implications of it.

@partly-cloudy-partly-fuckoff - Aetherborn Angel

This is one I didn’t see coming, but not in abad way. This feels like a natural name, and immediately conjures an image in my mind. The fact that both angels and aetherborn are sort of non-natural creatures makes he combination feel fitting, but them being opposites of the color pie and origin intrigues me. The card? It feels alright. Artifact matters seems pretty aetherborn-y, though that’s mostly just because they're in Kaladesh. Counters feel pretty angelly, but that’s usually just because white has +1/+1 counter themes all the time and big white creatures are often angels. What I’m trying to say is that while this does feel like it’s an aetherborn angel, it doesn’t feel like it’s THE aetherborn angel. But I still think the card has a place in whatever set it’s for. It seems powerful, and I like that it’s usually the best place to put your counters, but has some utility, plus I’m sure there are ways to go infinite, but when you’re paying seven mana for it that seems fair. I love powerful commons because there’s nothing saying a common can’t be powerful, just not complex, and while this does add a little strategic complexity, it’s not gonna burn any brains. This is a well made card.

@reaperfromtheabyss - Goblin Knight

It sure is. This feels pretty right on the money, not just because the name feels real and the creature types fit well, but because the text on the card feels like how a goblin would be a knight. They aren’t particularly any better at fighting or better equipped, but it at least can scare some people or keep them at a distance. I very rarely ever say this but I think there was room for flavor text here. I’d like to know how this goblin got in this position, and what they’re doing to stop creatures from blocking. The cost also seems great, perfectly in between fervent cathar and voldaren duelist.

@shootingstarhunter - Island Turtle [the 0/4]

One of two island turtles this week. So it’s a 0 mana 0/4 (or U if you count coming into play tapped as paying a cost). I think with literally no other text, that would be a pretty cool card, if a touch strong. There’s also the issues with land creatures, which there are some weird rules for that mostly just annoys judges more than players. However, you decided to put on some… interesting text. It can turn another land into a creature, one with a little bit more power and toughness. That seems… okay? I think if it had just said something like “Adapt 1: sacrifice a land” it would be almost identical mechanically but far, far easier to understand. I think you made this card to fit a very specific idea you had in your head, but I think you needed to step back and look at the final card and see if there was some way to make it simpler, or if not, what that extra complexity would get you.

@snugz - Island Turtle [the 0/2]

Interesting. I like the simplicity of it on the surface. It’s just a Dryad Arbor but with a little more toughness, and it’s blue. A 0 mana 0/2 is on curve, I think, though I don’t know what kind of deck would want it. It doesn’t block anything but the smallest of creatures, which decks you’d need to block against probably aren’t playing. But it can chump, and doesn’t die to 1 damage from stuff like Chandra Pyromaster or Goblin Chainwhirler, so that’s something. The reminder text is appreciated, though the “isn’t a spell” feels less necessary considering the first line, but reminder text can be there anyway! The first line I feel like is trying to fix something, but most of the issues with land creatures are about integrating them into the comprehensive rules, which Dryad Arbor is already forcing WotC to do. But I guess it has it’s uses here and there. Rules aside, I think this card is fine. Like I said, I’m not sure what decks would want this, but it’s unique enough I think someone could find a use for it.

@starch255 - Enchantment Class Saga

Oh boy, what did I do to deserve this? First, the elephant in the room, no one at wizard’s would ever call this Enchantment Class Saga. Is it supposed to be the story of a class about enchantments? Mechanically I guess it’s at least tied to everything. I don’t think I have to tell you this is too complicated. This has more words on it than a pack of homelands. I also don’t know if it’s phrased right, because we don’t even have the comprehensive rules for classes out yet. Setting X to a certain number at the top of the card also may or may not work? We’ve yet to see a saga with a static effect like that. I also think just playing it and waiting till turn four to level it up gives you a crazy amount of advantage, digging 4 cards deep every turn if you have another saga, plus getting through those sagas even quicker. I’m having an extremely difficult time judging this one, but I can at least say it’s too complicated, and that’s enough to keep it out of the running.

@thedirtside - Treasured Clue

This is a really cute card, but I don’t think it quite hits the mark (pun intended?). One mana for a treasure is kind of weird. We saw a lot of people thinking like that for a while with golden goose, which generated a mana on turn one and rarely did anything else, but let you ramp out a three-drop on turn two, and doing this on a colorless card just feels kind of dangerous, especially because being common means you could crack two on turn three for a 5 drop two turns early. But I also like the combination of the two types, since if you don’t need the treasure then you probably need the card. Reminds me of the Horizon lands. The name is also really close, better than some this week, but feels kind of forced. I wish there were a little more you could do with this guy to make him worth tacking on an extra mana. As is, it’s just a little too swingy to be fun.

@wolkemesser - Orgg Hag

I actually had to double check to see that these were both existing creature types, but lo and behold, they were. And they’re both pretty thematic! Orggs are just like big 4 armed goblins, and hags are I guess like witches? But now witches are warlocks. Anyway, the card. I think it’s alright. Trample feels very Orgg, lifelink feels haggy, but that last ability just seems odd. Orgg itself had an ability that cared about size, and the sort of curse flavor of it feels haggy, but it just feels so out of nowhere. I feels like if you removed the white mana in the cost and the ability it would feel just as appropriate a card. Humility in general also has a lot of rules issues that don’t really make them worth it unless they are on big, swingy cards, which this isn’t quite. Still as a whole I think the card is perfectly fine, but a bit off for this week’s contest.

And that’s everybody! If you want to get a hold of me, you can contact me on the Discord. Thanks again for entering! Good luck next week!

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

#same name #commentary #custom magic card #mtg #magic the gathering #inventor's fair

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emu-lumberjack · 4 years

Text

Don’t Answer the Phone tired Part 3

Damian’s left at the mercy of his brothers, and he really needs to start paying attention.

-----------------------------

Hi guys, I’ve had probably too much caffiene late at night but heres the next part to Don’t Answer the Phone Tired. Some backstory and croissants are in order. I promise next time more Marinette. also as a side note, the Kipo soundtrack is amazing to write too.

Part one

Part two

Part four

part five

“Since you pricks are insistent on being social, tell me how Gotham is.” Damian asked his brothers, downing a swig of coffee.

“Oh you know dark, gloomy, and full of rouges.” Dick said “But enough about Gotham. Tell us about Paris, specifically a special somebody.”

“No.” The voice he used was cold and curt. “Where do you want to eat.”

“I think there's a bakery nearby.” Jason said with a grin, the exhausted Damian didn’t put two and two together until they were at the door of the Dupain-Cheng bakery. “Shit.” Damian turned around to leave, only for Jason to pick him by his hood and look him straight in the eyes.

“Now listen here Demon spawn. We’re hungry and poor Timmy over there is freezing cold after the nice little ice bath you gave him.” A glance over to Tim saw the poor boy shivering in his still wet clothes. “So we are gonna go in there and grab some nice warm pastries. Unless there's a reason we shouldn’t, but I couldn’t think of one could you?” Damian silently cursed his mother for teaching Jason to be such an ass, more so than he normally was. He kept his mouth shut knowing it would be worse for him to say that this was Marinette's bakery.

The party walked there normal mismatch of aesthetics. The bakery smelled like warm bread and freshly baked cookies. Like Marinette. It was enough for Damian to temporarily relax and let loose a breath he’d been holding for the last hour. This change in demeanor wasn’t missed by Dick but the elder boy chose not to comment.

“Hello and welcome to the Dupain-Cheng Bake…… Oh Damian it’s you. Wait, why aren’t you at school? Is Marinette alright?” Sabine came out from behind the counter, turning off her customer service voice the minute she saw it was Damian.

“Yes Sabine she’s completely fine. In fact she made sure I got up in time.” He motioned with his coffee mug. “A real lifesaver. The reason I’m not there now is because my brothers decided they just needed to come visit me in Paris so my dad called me out for the day.” Sabiene looked at the 3 other men in the room before responding,

“Oh how delightful, you never speak of your family. I was starting to think you just hatched out of an egg somewhere.” A snicker from the boys in the back, “well no matter we must sit down and talk, I’d love to get to know them!” it was then that she noticed Tim in all of his drenched glory, “I can also lend you some of Tom’s old clothes while yours dry.”

“Oh if that wouldn’t be too much of a bother, someone thought they were funny and tried to get me up in a not so polite manner.” He glared at Damian, the latter pointedly ignoring him.

Sabine caught on to his meaning quickly and stifled a laugh “Oh it's no problem at all, they might be a bit big though.”

Ten minutes later they were situated around the table on the upper level, hot coffee in front of Jason, Tim, and Damian while Sabine and Dick both had tea. The boys had chosen different pastries. Dick went with a blueberry scone, Tim who was now sitting in a much too big white shirt and comically oversized pants for his frame had a classic butter croissant and Jason went with a pain au lait. Damian having already eaten just sat sipping his coffee.

“So Ms. Dupain-Cheng..” Dick Began.

“Oh please just call me Sabiene” She interrupted.

“Alright Sabine, Damian’s been less than forthcoming about his time here in Paris, would you be able to fill in some gaps? Like how he and Marinette met.” Damian kicked Dick from underneath the table.

“Oh I’d be happy too! It’s actually a rather cute story. Damian had just moved to Paris and was having trouble making any friends, Marinette had taken note of that and asked me and Tom, he’s my husband you’d meet him but he’s out of town right now, so she asked Tom and me to help make this boy in her class some macaroons to help him get more accustomed to Paris. We thought to remind him of Gotham so we made them Batman and Robin themed. We actually probably have a picture of them around here somewhere.” She mumbled the last bit to herself as Damian steadily slunk down in his chair attempting to hide from looks his brothers would throw his way. “Well anyway the next day they were in class, and since they sat next to each other she tried to offer him the macaroons then, but Damian being Damian didn’t want to take them. Something about not liking sweets. Instead of shying away she just split one in half and asked him to just try that.”

“I can take it from here Sabine.” Damian's voice surprised even him, but the boy knew what was coming next and it would be less embarrassing if he said it.

“Of course, you were there so you probably know it better anyway.”

Three predatory gazes settled on Damian taking note of everything he said to rely to Bruce, Damian took a breath and continued, “I took the half she offered me out of politeness, after all Sabine you and Tom worked very hard on them. They were probably some of the best Macaroons I’d ever had. Marinette left the box between the two of us on our desk and went back to her school work. When she wasn’t looking I took another one, I hadn’t eaten breakfast and it was a very nice gesture.” Damian looked up to see Dick holding his hand over his mouth, concealing a squeal most likely. Todd was looking at him with laughter in his eyes, and even Drake had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Anyway I ended up eating the entire thing, after class Marinette and I started talking more, and eventually we just ended up hanging out outside of class playing video games and the like.”

“Oh my Gosh that is so adorable.” Grayson was the first to speak after Damian finished. “Damian I never knew you could be so… so…”

“Nice?” Tim supplied.

“Yes nice!”

“I’m mainly focusing on the fact that Damian was kind enough to actually have her keep up conversation after the first one.” Jason was looking at Damian incredulously.

“Ah I see his prickly attitude is not a recent development.” Sabine said, taking a sip of her tea.

“That would be an understatement. Although believe it or not he’s actually a lot better then when we first met him.” Dick said politely.

The five of them sat quietly trading stories of Gotham and Paris, Damian firmly keeping them off the topic of him and Marinette. Cups of tea and coffee came and went until a cheerful voice called from the foyer “Mamman I’m home!” Damian immediately sprinted downstairs and tackled Marinette in a bearhug.

“Please never leave me alone with them again.”

She just laughed and said “Was it really that bad Dames?” Tim who had just walked downstairs startled chuckling.

“What’s so funny Drake?” Damian said icily.

“The fact she called you Dames! Last time I think someone tried to do that you had a katana at their throat and they were found hanging upside down from one of the gargoyles at Gotham academy.”

“Did you seriously do that Damian?” Marinette focused her gaze on him.

“Ok in my defense it’s also because he wouldn’t stop coming onto me even though I had said no. I mean he wasn’t even my type.”

“Oh and what is your type then?” She asked.

“Blue hair with gorgeous blue eyes. A complete klutz half the time, while still somehow managing to keep seven layer cakes from falling down. Someone who will draw and sketch to their heart's content, while simultaneously dealing with a dumbass. Also doesn’t hurt if they can make the most beautiful clothes.” He planted a small kiss on Marinette's cheek just to emphasize.

“Seriously, how did you do that.” Tim’s voice cut through the moment, Damian turned towards him annoyed.

“Now that is a story for after lunch. How bout we go grab some sushi and we’ll tell you.”

Not again.

Tag list (I’m assuming if you wanted to be tagged in part two you want to be tagged here, if not: welp you are anyway):

@ur-average-reader @kristycocopop @k-laconia-bug1 @smolplantmum @dast218 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @acoursedprophetwithasmothie @g-arya @loysydark @mewwitch @itsemeanne @hauntedstudent99 @shippernaturalsanderspjoandscifi @purplesundaze

general writing tag:

@clumsy-owl-4178

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous x dc #Damianette #damianxmarinette #Sabiene duping-cheng #ml #ml xdc #maribat #miraculous ladybug Au #marinette dupain cheng #damienette

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miss-choco-chips · 4 years

Text

From Baby to Babe~

I once wrote this https://miss-choco-chips.tumblr.com/post/190983954737/theres-a-point-in-all-the-rouges-gallerys-lives and @theturdis wanted a fic about it, so... Just remember, you asked for this hon. This ain’t my fault.

Tagging @animemangasoul who just told me to tag them the next time I wrote something.

Fair warning everyone, I somehow did this in one sitting, and, I can’t stress this enough, there’s no edit whatsoever. Like, none. Enjoy, if you can ignore the eyesore of my multiple mistakes.

----.----

Bruce despairs in the knowledge of his sons growing up hot.

---.---

When Dick came back to Gotham as the new Nightwing for the first time ever… well.

Bruce didn't like to think about the first suit, back then. All those feathers and glitter, the plunging V neck, the mullet… His son had insisted on it being the trend at the time. Bruce just couldn't grasp how was he supposed to blend into the night and take anyone by surprise. There was too much... everything, and not nearly enough stealth.

He was an innocent man, back then. He looked at a horse gift in the mouth and was completely blindsided when it raised on it’s hind legs and kicked him where it hurted.

When Selina approached him a few weeks after N had come to him with the blueprints of his new suit, he had been quiet relaxed. Or as relaxed as one can be when crouched like a gargoyle and looking over the city. He was just getting back on track after… Jason (it still hurted, and probably always would, to think about him), his new partner helping in ways he couldn’t foresee, violence tampered by Tim’s brilliant smile every time he came to Bruce with the answer to a particularly difficult riddle he had been having trouble with. He had to get his act together, because Tim was so bright, mind so beyond what Bruce could ever aspire to, and he was at such an impressionable age… If Batman allowed himself to fall deeper into despair, he would set a dangerously bad example to the kid, which could be really damaging… to the world at large. He was the kind of kid that B wanted on the side of Justice, because the opposite would be quite catastrophic.

So yes, he had been very distracted lately, merely glancing over Dick’s blueprints, noticing the lack of brilliantine and gold, and giving his wholehearted approval.

Stupid, innocent man he was. He had needed Catwoman of all people to open his eyes.

(To this day, he still wondered about Alfred’s reason for not warning him sooner. Perhaps, and this was the theory he had running, the old butler had been just so delighted at seeing the Disco suit gone, he would approve almost everything in its place, and Dick’s virtue had never been his responsibility to preserve, so to hell with it.

Betrayal always hurted the worse when it came from those closest to you)

-Hey handsome.

-Cat.

She rolled her eyes, already beyond his brood, and just walked out of the light, joining him into the shadows with a sigh at his dramatics.

-No theft today?

The woman grimaced a bit, letting herself fall at his side with as much grace as she did everything else. Diamond claws scratched at her scalp, carefully not tearing the frail skin, and Batman finally conceded and turned his head to look at her directly. She was never so hesitant.

-Look. I really, really don’t want to be the one telling you this. I would literally rather leave this to anyone else, but… it’s getting out of hand.

-What is it?

-Nightwing. Hadn’t you noticed anything about him?

That got whatever rest of his attention she hadn’t already caught. Speaking of his sons always had that effect on him.

-What happened to him?

-Nothing, just… He’s been out a lot, hasn’t he? I thought he didn’t operate in the city as much…

She was stalling, which was worryingly out of character for Selina. But since this was about Nightwing, he had to be patient and let her talk her way into whatever information she was going to lay on him.

-I’ve been… -training a new Robin, not that he could tell her that- busy, lately. He’s picking up the slack while I’m focusing on it -a.k.a helping him both patrol the streets and teach Tim.

-I noticed the changes, yes, whatever therapy you’re doing is great for you -she encouraged, more honest than he thought her capable of. He could already see her deadpan when she figured out the reason for his change, his ‘therapy’ as she put it, was an eleven year old thrusting himself at this dangerous life of his.

-Hm.

-Well… Anything noteworthy about him lately? Crime Fighting related?

Since she was stressing the words so much, he gave them deep thought.

-He has been on a streak lately. A lot more arrests… What’s your point?

He could almost see the second she internally said ‘fuck it’ and just blurted everything out.

-That’s because his new suit is, and this is coming from me, B, indecent, and every criminal out there is focusing more on his ass than his punches and flips so he’s kicking ass easier.

Bruce kicked his way to the forefront of his mind, the father in him hip checking the vigilante out of the way so he could properly freak out.

What? He knew the suit was a lot more tight than the former one, but he’d been so relieved at it being mostly black he hadn’t given more than a cursory look… and he barely saw the man in it, often training together in workout clothes and coming and going to patrol at different times. He… wasn’t prepared for this.

-Excuse me?

-I’m sorry, someone had to tell you. Normally, I’d be completely on board with a suit change from boring to daring, and you know of my good relationship with leather, but I’ve literally seen that kid grow up. If I have to listen to Harley talking about Nightwing’s ass one more time, Ivy won’t need to worry any more about the Joker killing her, because I will do it myself.

He wanted to thank her for standing up for his son, but he was still busy internally screaming.

-You want to hear Riddle’s last work? While looking directly at N, he asked ‘is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them?’. And then he winked. Winked, B. At your eighteen year old kid. You need to get your ass on gear and make sure Nighting changes his. I mean, I’m getting used to it, but you’ve been doing great lately, violent wise, and I’d hate for you to relapse because you heard Zsaasz asking N to tie his ropes tighter and harder.

B… needed to go back to the cave and call N back early. They had to talk.

----.----

When Jason came back, the first thing to break past the ‘holy shit my son is alive’ wall surrounding his brain was just how tall he had grown. How strong, how broad, how big. The little boy he had picked up from the street, underfeed and hurting everywhere, had turned out almost bigger than B himself and twice as brave. The wave of pride he felt was massive, but the feeling was short lived.

Jason was killing criminals, had even attempted to murder Tim. Even if the father in him could, in his desperation, try and overlook the first bit, the same side couldn’t get past the second. Tim was as much his as Jason, and he couldn't turn a blind eye to it.

The relief of him being back that overflowed from Bruce clashed horribly with Batman’s unbending morals, and the two sides warred for days for control. The attack on his youngest son had been the deciding factor in who finally won; Bruce couldn’t fight the darkness in him when he needed it to help protect Robin from his predecessor, as much as it pained him.

Theirs was a long road, a difficult path to come back together as a family after so many mistakes on both parts (more his than Jason’s, he knew, but admitting so was so hard…), but they had finally, finally came back together. All his children, sitting around the dinning table at the manor, throwing food at each other behind Alfred’s back, Dick failing to give Jason a noogie, Tim succeeding in elbowing his way past both of them to claim first picks over the brownies, Damian rolling his eyes while sneakily drawing in his notebook what B suspected was a portrait of the three of them, Cass and Steph laughing at their antics… His heart felt like it could give out.

Again, his mind was anywhere but in… that. Already used to the dirty looks aimed at Nighting, he focused his anger into strength behind every punch, taking care to kick specially hard when aiming at the criminal’s genitals as light punishment for the lust they aimed at his oldest, but not longer trying to essentially castrate them.

He had the hang of it, and it was just one child. He could do damage control with one, it wasn’t that hard. Stephanie wasn’t really his, just under his protection as a mentor, and even then, she was mostly Barbara’s; Cass could and would take care of anyone who dared look at her in a way she didn’t like, so she was also good. Seventeen year old Tim and thirteen year old Damian were babies, so they wouldn't be an issue for a long, long time.

And then. And then, Steph had opened her mouth.

-Why can’t Tim do this? -she had whined, raising the heels to eye level and studying them with profound distaste- I hate fighting on these. He’s much better than me at that anyway, and he makes a hotter chick than I when he goes full out on his undercover gig.

Red Robin, who was walking past her on his way to the training mats, high fived her.

Barbara’s voice came from the Batcomputer, Oracle’s voice filter not needed while they still were on the Cave.

-Because he and Jason can’t act like a couple for more than two hours before one of them breaks into hives or laughter, and this is an all night long gig.

-Then why can’t Tim and Dick go? You just need a girl as pretty arm candy distaction, the guy is the one who’s gonna do the work, and Nightwing can take care of a few drug dealers himself.

-While Dick is certainly pretty enough to gain permission to enter this very private party -the man, stretching with Tim, stopped mid motion to give the computer finger guns. Barbara coughed to cover a laugh and kept going-, the goal is for him to be invited into the boss’s personal office, and we can only do that if he’s interested in what he sees. From what Tim gathered for me on his last recon, he favours… Jason’s body types more than Dick’s.

Bruce, who was just getting out of the locker room, suit fully in place except from the cowl, raised an eyebrow at that, stopping to analyze his second oldest. Tilting his head, and still as confused, he asked what would undoubtedly bring him an unhealthy amount of regret in the very near future.

-What does that mean? Jason’s...body type? You mean tall? Dick is also pretty tall.

There was total silence in the cave for a few moments. Dick and Tim got up from their positions, shared a look, and made a run for the showers, claiming they were ready for patrol (they weren’t, not warmed up enough, but he had other things to focus on now). Damian, already fully suited, tutted and dragged the hood of his cape over his face, almost completely covering it. Cass looked on impassively, and Stephanie seemed to be getting a worryingly amount of glee from whatever this was.

Jason himself was… blushing? What?

-Who’s gonna tell him? -finally asked Barbara, amusement breaking her professional facade.

-Oh, me, me! Let me do this!

Apparently still a naive man, he nodded at the blonde, ready for someone to clear this up for him.

He was regaled with a half an hour long rant about biceps, pecs, and thighs that could compete against tree trunks and win. It was supported by apparent citations from different criminals that ranged from appreciative to full on scandalous.

In the end, everyone left the cave, Batgirl with a notorious spring on her step, and Bruce had to stay home instead of going out, needing the night to fully process about his second son, almost twenty one but twelve in his mind’s eye, apparently featuring in multiple Arkham calendars.

He came out of that realization a scarred man, to say the least.

-----.-----

It was barely a few months after his traumatic chat with Stephanie when it happened again. He’d like to say he was ready for this.

He wasn’t.

When Conner Kent found him, he was completely focused on his WE’s work. For once on the office, with the TV providing some white noise in the background, he was fully prepared for a day catching up. He couldn’t keep letting Tim take over most of the work, the kid deserved to have a normal (or as normal as any of them could achieve) teenage life.

He was of course notified the moment the meta breached the city’s limits, but figured he was here on Titan’s business or hanging out with Tim. The light knock on his office window was a big surprise.

-This is unexpected, Conner. What can I do for you? -he greeted after letting him in- Tim isn’t here today, he’s giving a press conference.

-Yeah, I know. I’m actually here for you. We, the team, heard from Tim you’re making the blueprints for his next suit.

This conversation was already going in a very confusing way. Why did they care about Tim’s gear?

-Yes?

-Well, you need to double check with us before you show anything to him -something akin to indignant surprise must have shown in his face, because the meta quickly raised both hands-. We don’t mean that as you needing our approval, of course you’d know better how to keep a non-meta well protected. We know jackshit about kevlar and armor. But it’s the… style, that has us worried.

He let the anger bleed out of him, replaced with puzzlement.

-What do you mean?

Conner looked down, as if gathering strength, then up and straight into Bruce’s eyes, a feat very few younger heroes could achieve. This was serious.

-Tim isn’t big like Jason, or as… stretchy as Dick, but he has… very, very attractive features. I won’t go into detail with you about how thin his waist is, how shapely his legs or cute his ass. That’s not something I need to say or you to hear.

Yes, it definitely wasn’t. Bruce was having an inkling as to where this was headed, and he didn’t like it. Tim was a baby! Barely eighteen and so damn small!

-But I do need to tell you, his ugly ass suits have been good at keeping that all on the downlow. We made fun of him for them, sure, but never encouraged him to change, because we know what will happen if he does. It would be awful. You think Nightwing and Red Hood have it rough? Tim has Ra’s Al Ghul’s undivided attention and appreciation. If we add attraction to it? Mayhem. Absolute mayhem. We can barely keep him from being kidnapped by older, nasty villains as it is. We don’t need the extra work, sir. I’m begging you on behalf of the team, don’t let him get anything that would look good on him. Like that Untranet suit he told me about, for example. That one would be so bad. Or the Red Robin one with tighter pants and a domino under the cowl so he can take it out and flash the world his luscious hair.

Bruce fell back into his desk chair. Elbows resting on the table, he buried his face into his hands.

A long silence filled the room.

-You already approved and made one of those, right?

A small, shaky nod.

-...The Ultranet one?

A firm shake.

-Fuck me. The Red Robin with tighter pants and domino?

Another nod. Conner sat abruptly on the empty chair in the other side of the desk, like a puppet with its strings cut.

-Well, fuck.

Fuck indeed.

Bruce despaired.

----.----

This time, he would be ready. He swore it on his honor, on his oath, on his parents.

So when Damian turned sixteen, growth spurt kicking in (he towed over Tim, and it wouldn’t be long until he left Dick in the dust as well), he made a thought but necessary call.

He phoned Talia.

-We need to talk. About Damian, and… sex appeal.

Her shock was evident even through the phone.

-Excuse me? My son is a child. He has no such thing.

He closed his eyes. Once, a long time ago, he’d been just as naive. Now he knew better.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but she needed to. And quickly. Damian was growing faster than his other children. Time was of essence.

-Let me tell you what I wish I knew years ago, when Dick decided to change his Nightwing suit.

She was probably going to hate him for opening her eyes like this, but Bruce just couldn't do this alone.

He could deal with Talia’s hate, but criminals lusting after his baby son? Hell no. He might actually go rouge.

#my writting #I have no excuse #no edit #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #Cassandra Cain Wayne #Stephanie Brown #selina kyle #barbara gordon #Alfred Pennyworth #conner kent #kon el kent #batfamily

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twisted-eels · 4 years

Text

Post Release Tag Game

~Your twisted tale begins!~

1. You just woke up in a coffin trapped with this talking rat thing that swears he isn’t a tanuki. How do you actually react?

✦ Well that entirely depends on whether I’m aware of the fact I’m in a game or not. If I retain my knowledge of twst then I follow the game path (and accept that I have to live with the talking rat from now on). If this is all completely new to me then I would most likely go with the flow, I’d realise that something completely unnatural has happened and try to adapt to the situation. I’d also interrogate the talking rat thing and try to find out more information

2. Let’s pretend for a second that you’re not at the mercy of a magic mirror and incompetent bird dad, choose which dorm you would like to be a part of. Why, and do you think the mirror would agree?

✦ This is hard… I would choose to be part of Octavinelle, I mean… the visual design of the dorm rocks. Plus they do well in tests, so I could persuade my dormmates to tutor me. The mirror probably wouldn’t agree with me. I’ve taken a couple ‘What Twisted Wonderland dorm are you?’ type quizzes, and I usually get put in Heartslabyul. Maybe I should send someone a dorm sorting request and see what happens?

3. Going back to twst reality, where you don’t have magic and get sentenced to Ramshackle; what is your first thought upon seeing this safety hazard of a building? What’s the first thing you choose to fix there?

✦ My first thought is ‘no’. The first thing I choose to fix is the fact that I live there. Surely I can make a deal with Azul to have a spare room in Octavinelle. He can have Ramshackle in exchange. I know he wants that second location for the lounge

4. In an alternate reality where you don’t immediately get lumped together with Ace and Deuce, who in the school becomes your best friend(s)?

✦ Epel and Rook seem interesting to be around, I don’t know a ton about either of them, but going off of my general idea about the two, I could see myself hanging around them. Epel I’d probably befriend pretty quickly, Rook maybe not so much. Unless being from another world is enough to make up my lack of beauty or interesting qualities. Other characters I could potentially befriend would be Kalim, Jamil, Trey, and Idia

5. Which existing club would you give a shot? Any particular reason why?

✦ Board games club! You guys should’ve seen when I got Risk and nobody wanted to play with me because it was so long… in the board games club they’d have to join me, right? Also I just wanna vibe with Idia and Azul

6. Don’t be shy, we know there’s a certain someone who’s caught your eye! Who are they? How did you meet?

✦ … Jamil. I’d assume we meet through Kalim. I met Kalim, vibed with him and we started hanging out together, and then Jamil came to find Kalim for one reason or another, meeting me in the process or if we’re following the game plot, we’d meet when I was investigating the mysterious injuries surrounding magishift players

7. Which of the events was the most exciting for you?

✦ Ghost marriage. Sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone get slapped would be legendary, and all those outfits? Even better. Of course I’d feel bad for Idia, but that doesn’t really change how amusing the rest of the event would be

8. Ghosts: delightful dorm mates or unholy terrors?

✦ That entirely depends on their reaction to my 2 am singing, they might become nightmare fuel just to get me to shut up for a minute. Otherwise the ghosts are honorary dorm members, who have an obligation to listen to me, their dorm leader I’m officially the mc now

9. Choose a champion (no further context, just pick).

✦ Leona. As long as he’s actually awake/motivated to get up and do champion stuff, I think he’d be well suited... I say, having absolutely no idea what the context for this is. If this whole champion thing requires motivation however, I’d pick Jamil instead

10. Would you rather (a) film a movie with Vil, (b) play a round of magic shift with Leona, or (c) go gargoyle sighting with Malleus?

✦ Film a movie with Vil, the other options aren’t even up for debate

11. Thoughts on fairies?

✦ Cool as hell. Those are not things we have here and that is honestly a shame. I’m kinda interested in all the different types of fairies and what distinguishes them. Like is it just physical differences or do the different fae have special abilities of their own?

12. “Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” (Choose wisely now)

✦ Vil, I would rather not be poisoned by him for saying otherwise

13. Would you rather (a) keep Azul from eating fried food, (b) be responsible for dragging Idia out from his lair, (c) break a rule with Riddle standing right in front of you, or (d) tell Kalim to his face that Jamil isn’t all that great (not true).

✦ Break a rule with Riddle standing right in front of me. I’m looking forward to him trying to use off with your head on someone with no magic of course he could just beat the shit out of me, but that is a risk I am willing to take

14. You stumble upon Rook stalking another student from inside the bushes. What do you do?

✦ First of all, laugh at him. Then probably join him tbh, depends on who he’s stalking

15. Which homeland (that we know of) would you like to learn more about?

✦ Land of Pyroxene

16. Thoughts on Grimm?

✦ Rat bastard who needs to stop eating overblot rocks. Or if he’s gonna eat them, at least wait until I’ve experimented on them to find out what they are and what they can do

17. If you had magic, what would be your unique magic?

✦ Now this is a hard one. I’d say… an ability that draws attention to or from someone. So the magic could make it so that everyone turns and pays attention to the target, or that everyone ignores them, making them essentially invisible. I don’t have a name for the magic right now because I only just came up with it

18. Favourite ship?

✦ Marcela x Lilia. Not because I think it’s a good ship, but because if they did get together it would be so chaotic. It’s just for the memes

19. Favourite theory?

✦ Silver being twisted from the sword that kills Maleficent. I don’t know who first came up with the theory, but I’ve seen it mentioned multiple times by different people. I like it ‘cause it’d be an interesting narrative, and hint at a possibility of betrayal. A character twisted from a villain and another character twisted from what killed them, nice

20. The school year is coming to a close, how are you feeling? Any thoughts?

✦ Please tell me I can continue on as a second year. I’m feeling kinda annoyed that I can’t use magic, but seeing everyone overblot, I figure it might be for the best that I can’t

21. “Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.” What do you wish to see from the game in future stories?

✦ Potion shenanigans. Perhaps an event where a dodgy potion resulted in some body swapping or something? Or they pull an Emperor’s New Groove and turn someone into a llama. I think I prefer the llama idea. Please twst give me a llama event

Tagging: @sorianfordarwin, @edda-blattfe, @ghostiebabey, and any of my followers who want to do this. Go wild kids

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst game #tag game

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twstmemory · 4 years

Note

okay jokes over no h word here, can i req riddle, octavinelle, silver and malleus with an s/o with really low self esteem and how they help them deal with it thanks 💖😌

Ok h word anon anything for you <3

Riddle-

Riddle is already incredibly awkward with his own emotions, so having someone else as well would definitely be a challenge for him. Normally he’d rely on his s/o to look after him, but if you managed to crack through his tough shell then he’d do everything he could to make you happy.

Riddle thinks you’re perfect in every way, and he’d be very no nonsense with making you see it. He simply wouldn’t let you feel bad about yourself. Riddle has his own share of problems, but accepting when he does something right isn’t one of them. He’d be incredibly insistent in complimenting you whenever you do anything good, and in his eyes that’s all the time!

Riddle being riddle, he’d be far too practice about it. He’d probably keep notes on all things you’re good at, and he’d take time ever day to remind you that, hey, you’re great and you mean the world to him!

He’d definitely indirectly complement you. Something like, “if I think you’re good enough to date me then you must be pretty perfect.” He’d try to be smooth but he’d be a blushing mess the whole time.

At the end of the day, Riddle doesn’t understand why you’d feel that way. He thinks you’re extremely talented, and he wants you to see that! He’d probably go to the rest of heartslabyul, especially Trey, for help.

He wouldn’t be shy about scolding yourself whenever you put yourself down either! Though after it he’d hold your hand and mumble something about how much he loves you. If anyone else heard it he’d kill them, but if it’s you, he thinks you deserve to know.

Riddle would understand that you had a hard time loving yourself, so he’d just make sure to do it for you! Every time you do anything, he’d be quick to shower you with praise, even giving you a kiss as reward. You’re the only one who’s allowed to see you like this, so that alone makes you pretty special!

Azul-

Azul knows what self loathing feels like all too well. It’d break him apart to see you not giving yourself all the credit you deserve! Call him a hypocrite all you like, but it isn’t going to change the fact that he thinks you deserve the world and more.

Azul is very logical, so be prepared for some tricky word games where he tricks you into saying you love yourself. He’d give you his signature smirk and say something along the lines of “now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” But his eyes would much softer than normal. Only you get to see him so vulnerable.

If Azuls off hand comments about how great you are go over your head, be prepared for him to get more forward! He’s dating you for a reason y’know? Azul knows how you feel all too well, and all he wants is to assure you that you are everything he could ever want and more.

He’d take you on walks at night, keeping up his persona until he was sure you’re out of sight from anyone else. Then, he’d spill his heart out to you, telling you about how much he loves you.

Azul would understand that just saying things wouldn’t help, so he’d set about helping you improve the aspects of yourself you don’t like. No underhanded tricks this time. Just you and him trying your best to remember all the historical figures of the frabtuous day.

If you’re feeling really down, he knows a couple of breathing exercises to get your head back in the game. He’d make sure to draw you out if that fantasy world where your just a piece of dirt, and to make you see exactly what he’s seeing, the light of his life!

Jade-

Jade would keep up his gentleman like persona the entire time. Though, if you really looked hard you’d be able to tell a couple of differences. His face always looked softer when he was talking to you, for one.

He’s tease you relentlessly, but it’s jade, so you wouldn’t even know if he was teasing you or being serious! Spending any time with Jade is a mind game in all honesty. But with you, it’s even worse! He thinks you look so cute squirming around like that. You really make it too easy for him.

But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Jade would be much subtler than the others, not even letting you know that he’s trying to make you feel better.

He’s just slip the little things he likes about you into conversation, and wouldn’t be shy about laying on the praise. Of course, he wouldn’t stop messing with you.

Be prepared for all sorts of romantic dates by the moonlight, where he’d finally let down his guard, just a little bit. Jade would know that they way to make you happy was to show how much he loves you. So be it.

Floyd-

Floyd is not shy about letting you know how much he loves you. Every day he’d jump on you and scream about how cute his little shrimpy is.

He wouldn’t be able to understand why you didn’t like yourself. To him you’re perfection! He’d be all over you, crying the second you said anything bad about yourself.

Did someone say something mean to you? Is that why you’re sad?! You’d have to stop Floyd from committing a literal murder.

When Floyd finally understands that you have low self esteem, he’d make it his personal mission to make you happy! He wouldn’t know how to tackle the deeper issues, so he’d just work on making you smile whenever he saw you!

He’d jump on you and tickle you until you were laughing! Or he’d tell you all sorts of jokes! Oh, oh! Or, his personal favourite, he’d take you out dancing on all of the tables in the monstro lounge!

Floyd knows his own shortcomings all too well, even if he doesn’t show it! He wants you to be happy, and he thinks you deserve the world! So when he knows that he can’t give you everything, he’d find ways to make up for it!

Silver-

He fucking goes zzzzzzzzzz

Ok ok jokes aside, silver wouldnt really know what to say. His way of loving you is pretty simple. Just holding your hand and spending time with you. That was one of the reason he loved you in the first place, you didn’t expect him to be someone he wasn’t!

But still, he wanted you to be happy more than anything. If he saw you were feeling down about yourself, he’d take you to one of his favourite spots in the school, where the breeze was nice and soft and the sun hit just right. Normally he’d be napping with his eyes closed, but if you were there, then there was a view that was worth staying awake for.

Even if he didn’t find them as interesting, he’d tell you stories about his childhood, sprinkling in how much he loved you and how lucky he was to have you.

Silvers literally a Disney princess, so be ready for some duets. He doesn’t actually care how you sound. It’s how you sound together that he likes. At the end of the day, he’d just hold your hand and listen to your heartbeat. It’s hard to feel sad or stressed when he’s there with you, letting you know in his own way that he loves you.

You’d even get one of his famed sliver smiles! It’d be a nice change from silvers usual sleepy face. When he’s looking at you, he feels awake. And that should be enough to tell you how much he loves you, and just how special you are.

Malleus-

Malleus doesn’t understand anything about humans really. So, in usual Malleus style, he wouldn’t understand why you were so sad, or why you never gave yourself enough credit.

He’s a bit tactless, so be ready for him to start rambling about gargoyles when he feels out of his element. It’s just that, we’ll, they make him happy, so maybe they’d make you happy too?

When he realised that your low moods were gonna be a recurring theme, he’d start doing his research, asking Lilia what he should do and say, and going to the library to read up on... what we’re they called? Feeling?

In the moment though, he probably wouldn’t end up using any of the things he’d read or tips Lilia had given him. You loved him for him, and someone as special as you deserved ‘him’, and not some persona. He’d hold your hand and smile at you. You, his dearest child of man.

He’d hold you in his arms, and not let go until you promised to treat yourself better. After all, if it all went to plan, you’d end up as a queen. And a queen deserves the world. You deserve the world.

You showed Malleus all kinds of things he never could have imagined before. The life that he had taken for granted was suddenly so beautiful. Or maybe it was you who was beautiful? He didn’t know, and he found that he couldn’t find the words to tell you. So all he could do was hope that somehow his feelings would reach you.

#twst imagines #twsited wonderland #twst x reader #disney twst #twisted wonderland imagines

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keelywolfe · 4 years

Text

Drabble: No Hard Felines (baon)

Summary: Sans knew living with Red wasn't going to be all shits and giggles, but he wasn't expecting this flavor of bullshit on the menu.

Tags: Kustard, Fluff (as fluffy as these two get), Some Sexy Teasing

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

Despite his bro’s reassurances that Sans was making the right move, (and he still wasn’t convinced, leaving Paps while he was still wobbly on wheels after that attack was sticking in his craw like a fishbone on steroids) Sans still knew there were gonna be, eh, challenges was a good a word as any and sounded better than bitchfest.

What he hadn’t figured on was an ongoing war with a fucking cat over a sofa.

Sans didn’t know a whole lot about cats. His experience was limited to Cat Monsters and Temmies, all of whom could be expected to act reasonably decent and not shred a t-shirt just as it was getting into the comfortably overworn stage where even washing with Tide didn’t get out all the stink.

Damn cat, Sans really liked that shirt and if he wore in now, all he’d need was leather pants and some glitter eyeshadow and he could join a punk band.

Socks vanished wholesale before anyone even had a chance to put down a sticky note. Someday, somewhere, a sock graveyard would be found, and the haunting stench would follow whoeverso discovered it to the end of their days.

Anyway.

Sans didn’t know shit about cats, but what he did know was that he was already sick of living with the cat and hadn’t even properly moved in yet.

Dogs at least could be put on a chain and sent outside to sleep for a while. Red didn’t let Ozzy out, said he was all indoor cat, all the time, which was probably for the best because the little shit would probably decimate the local bird population overnight. Red said he was probably a mixed breed and Sans agreed with that assessment; half cougar, half pain in his tailbone. That little kitten grew to the size of a small Saint Bernard and didn’t even have the grace to wear that little collar with booze barrel on it. Being able to take a slug or two anytime he was around the little shit would be about the only thing to endear Sans to it.

What did not endear him was the fucking brat stalking him every time he walked around the house. It would wait, staring out from the shadows until Sans let his guard down by some minuscule fraction and then it would lunge out and try to take a chunk out of his ankle before scrambling off to the next stalking checkpoint. It was a good thing his HP took an upward hike when they came to the surface because dusting by ankle attack was exactly the kind of humiliating death Sans would expect the universe to have out for him.

If it wasn’t hiding, it was on the sofa, busy taking up as much sitting room as possible and that left them here, the two of them staring at each other like gunslingers in the old west, waiting to see who drew first and all Sans was armed with was a pillow.

Sure, Sans could go sleep upstairs in the bed. Hell, he could sleep on the floor if he wasn’t worried about not being able to peel himself off of the carpet later. But it was the principle of the thing. He was moving in, you gotta start as you intend to go on, and Sans intended to go on sleeping on the sofa whenever it took his fancy. Starting now.

“okay, look, cat,” Sans said. He held up his pillow, his only line of defense. “i’m gonna lay down on this side of the sofa. you stay on that side and things’ll go fine, you get me?”

The cat didn’t say anything, which was fine because if he’d started singing ‘hello my baby’, Sans was moving back in with Paps. Instead, it stared at him with those all-seeing eyes, ugh, no wonder Stretch hated cats. Sans was more used to being on the other side of that look and that’s where he preferred to stay, thanks.

If Ozzy was waiting for him to blink first, he was going to be sitting there until reveille because if there was one thing that skeletons didn’t technically have to do, it was blink. Sans moved slowly, first setting his pillow against the sofa arm and then easing onto the seat cushion. He lay back, still meeting that unblinking stare, waiting to see if his socks were gonna take the punishment for his hubris.

Ozzy yawned, showing a row of teeth that were remarkably similar to their owner. He blinked slowly, once, twice, and didn’t move an inch.

Sans relaxed, leaning back into the pillow and muttered, “just don’t murder me in my sleep.”

He was about halfway down the path into the land of nod when an unexpected weight in his lap jostled him back awake. Sans opened his sockets and looked down in disbelief at the cat loaf settled right on top of his femurs. Loaf, hell, the damn thing was the size of a furry watermelon, eyes closed and rustling up what Sans guessed might qualify as a rusty purr. Or an electronic can opener freshly liberated from the dump, either worked.

“okay, i know it looks like i’m melding into the sofa, but i’m not actually part of it. get off.” Ozzy didn’t move, still purring along. “c’mon, move, you furry brick!”

That purr rose threateningly in volume to something right below a chainsaw and Sans was trying to decide what finger he was willing to lose to push the damn thing off of him when from behind came. “see, you two are getting along just swell.”

He craned his neck enough to see Red leaning against the doorjamb leading to the would-be kitchen, if it ever got anything resembling appliances. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, whatever, Paps and Edge always had plenty of goods in the fridge and it tasted a lot better than whatever concoction either of them tried to rustle up.

“oh, yeah, we’re old pals,” Sans drawled irritably, “don’t worry, pretty sure all the scratches’ll heal over eventually and probably won’t leave too many scars.”

“good, i hate to mess up that pretty face. g’wan, oz, you’re in my seat.” Red wandered over to shove the cat off and instead of taking off a limb, it only let out an offended meow and went to loom like a resentful gargoyle on the recliner. Red took his spot and he was only a little lighter but a helluva lot more welcome to be straddling Sans’s femurs. Red squirmed, grinding their pelvises together until Sans grabbed his hips and stilled him, clenching his teeth together around a groan.

“wellie well well,” Red murmured. His crimson eye lights gleamed mellowly, his grin wide, and the way he ran his thumb lightly along the line of Sans's collar dragged a shiver up from the depths of his soul. Somebody was in a good mood. How kind of him to share it. “feels like you might be a lil’ happy ta see me.”

“it’s a pencil in my pocket.”

“yeah, feels about the right size for it.”

Whatever retort Sans might’ve come up for that was muffled under Red’s mouth against his own and those razor teeth of Red’s never left behind too many scars, either.

Welp, so much for the nap. Sans did crack open one socket to look around even as Red’s hands were starting to test the theory of just what kind of pencil Sans was smuggling. The cat was pointedly not looking at them and Sans smirked against Red’s mouth.

Take that, you furry little interloper, put a point on Sans’s side of the scoreboard.

Then he bit off a yelp as a clawed finger ran deliberately down his femur, hard enough to draw a beaded line of marrow. He shifted his glare to Red, who cooed out, “aw, do i have your attention now?”

“undivided and multiplied, if you wanna do the math.”

“i leave the math to stretch, now are you gonna get in the game?”

“yeah, let me get the ball.” It was Red’s turn to yelp as Sans cupped a hand firmly between his legs. Pretty soon Sans was forgetting all about the cat, because this, yeah, hell yeah, this was why moving in was the right idea.

Besides, the battle for the sofa always worked better when it was two against one, and Sans wanted Red against him for a long damn time.

-finis-

#kustard #spicyhoney #sancest #keelywolfe #underfell #underfell sans #by any other name

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ladyanput · 5 years

Text

Seeing Red Ch.1

So, here's the long mentioned Seeing Red. The story takes place parallel to Seeing Green, just all of the junk with Eva you've missed. And it's rated explicit. Enjoy.

---

Evangeline sat on her hotel bed, her head in his hands as she felt her head throb hard. Today had been far too eventful for her liking, and she had nearly lost Marinette to that stupid Two Face villian. Eva had never been more terrified than seeing that gun pressed to Marinette's head, the trigger just inches from being pulled. It was only their second day in Gotham and they were already running into trouble.

"-And so I'm heading down."

Eva blinked and looked up, staring at Caline Bustier, who stood before her in a lovely little black dress and kitty heels.

"What?" Eva croaked out, her eyes feeling heavy in her skull. She just wanted to sleep, to forget about today.

"I said that the students invited me down for dinner, so I'm heading down." Caline repeated patiently, smiling at the TA as she grabbed her purse. "I'll be back up in a few hours."

They had invited Caline, but not Evangeline. They never did, she was pretty sure the kids hated her, ever since she supported Marinette on her first day at that school. Well, except Adrien, he was a sweet boy, though a bit clueless on how the real world should work. But Eva did find herself pitying the boy…

"Have fun." She spoke, watching her mentor leave, before standing. Perhaps she should go check on Marinette, lord only knows that Caline hadn't checked on the girl after her near death experience, thinking that she was 'strong and independent, fully capable of handling herself'.

When she had first said that to Eva, she had wanted to spit on the French woman. But, of course, she had withheld, not wanting another lecture of keeping her temper in check while in Paris.

Once Caline was gone, Eva heard a soft tapping noise. Her brows drew together as she glanced around the room, trying to locate the noise, before drawing close to the window. Just behind that curtain, that was where the tapping noise was coming from.

Could it be a tree branch? No, she was on one of the higher floors. And it couldn't be a bird, it had a rhythm to it. Her body tensing up, prepared to bolt if she had to, she pulled open the curtains.

Only to see a man suspended in midair just outside her window. It took everything in Eva not to scream as she scrambled back from the window. It took her a few minutes to realize it was Red Hood that was dangling outside. Giving him a withering glare, Eva stormed up to the window and shoved it open.

"Are you trying to be a fucking stalker and give me a heart attack?" She snapped as Red Hood took the moment to slid into the room.

"No, I thought I'd drop by and see if you were okay. You did a gutsy move today." Red Hood crossed his arms, glancing around the room. "Small space."

"Yeah, well, the school couldn't exactly afford high-end suites." Eva responded dryly as she watched the vigilante carefully. "Not to be rude, but this could be considered creepy on so many levels; find a woman's hotel room and sneaking in through her window."

"Well I assure you, I'm not trying to be creepy." Red Hood shrugged, then crossed his arms. Eva couldn't help but notice the muscles in those arms, then found herself blushing when she remembered how it had felt being pinned under him at the mall earlier.

God, she really needed to get laid.

"Well you're doing a terrible job at it. Listen, is there something you need, Mr. Hood?" Eva eyed him once again, then promptly turned back to the vanity, taking her hair out of its bun carefully. "Because I've had a very long day and I'd like some sleep."

"I wanted to take you out for an evening stroll." He shrugged, then reached out and took her hand, giving a dramatic now. "A reward for your balls of steel today."

Eva's brows rose, as she weighed her options. On one hand, he could maybe kidnap her or plan to sell her into some sort of smuggling ring, but on the other hand Marinette told everyone she wanted to be left alone tonight, so Eva's only company would be Caline when she gets back. Yeah, the kidnapping was a preferable thing to choose.

"What would be on the agenda?" Eva crossed her arms, mimicking his stance as she felt herself smirk. "Gonna make me watch you beat up a bunch of baddies, hoping I'll get wet simply from the testosterone radiating off of you?"

The choking sound he made was beyond satisfying, a chuckle escaping her before she could stop it. Red Hood straightened and went to the window, pushing it open once again.

"Listen, I just thought you'd like a bit of fun before you head back to boring ol Paris, okay? So you wanna come or not?" He held out a hand to her. After a moment's hesitation, Eva reached out and took his hand.

---

Jason had to admit, he wasn't entirely sure why he went after his woman. Maybe it was that 'no bullshit' attitude she seemed to have when he confronted her back at the mall. Maybe he was simply being a hot blooded male and her ass had been on his mind a lot today. Or that he wondered if she had a pretty smile. Ah, the mysteries of life.

Red Hood wrapped an arm around Eva’s waist, her wrapping her arms around his neck in return. He quickly landed near the more questionable parts of Gotham, where he usually dwelled. He set her down on a ledge of one of those multiple stories with the weird gargoyles on them. He motioned for her to wait, before he jumped down into the alley.

Eva frowned and brushed some snow off of the roof and took a seat next to one of the gargoyles closest to the building, pulling her knees to her chest. She had to be insane to come here, but the sight of the lit up Gotham was a pretty one. She was so caught up in the sight, she barely noticed when Red Hood landed back on the roof and handed her one of the bottles of beer he was holding.

“Thanks stud.” Eva shot him a dry smile before cracking open the beer and taking a swig. She watched as he sat on the other side of the gargoyle, hiding most of his body, then listened as he cracked open his beer and took a swig. “It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this.”

“What? Have a beer?” Jason’s brows shot up, but a smirk played at his lips. He stared down at the brown bottle in his hand and chuckled to himself. “You never just sit and have a beer?”

“Not really. I try not to drink often, I don’t wanna fall into the habits my father did.” She muttered, glaring down at the bottle, but took another swig and leaned back against the cold, damp stone of the building. “But what I meant was I don’t really get to relax like this. I always have to be this high strung bitch because the supposed teacher of my class is shit at her job.”

“You wanna talk about it? I mean, you ran in after one of those students today and nearly got shot, you looked like you could have used some relaxing or ranting. Shit, maybe I should have taken you somewhere to beat the shit out of someone, that always makes me feel better when I’m pissed off.”

There was a heavy silence in the air before he heard her let out a defeated sigh.

“You know the French class that won that big contest Bruce Wayne hosted a few months ago? I’m the TA for that class, but I wish to God that I could be their teacher because the one they have doesn’t do jack shit. She actually has the nerve to tell everyone to get along, she doesn’t reprimand bullies, and she knows this bitch of a brat Lila is lying, but she is convinced that it’s some disease that causes her to lie. It’s a disease alright, it’s called being a fucking psychopath! She’s accused me of being a pedophile before!” Eva threw her hands up in the air, feeling her anger rise. Every part of her was suddenly telling her to shove it down, to stomp on it before those flames could blaze, but she let herself get angry, truly angry. She wasn’t in Paris, Hawkmoth couldn't reach her here. “She causes so many fucking akumas, but no one wants her to get akumatized, but there will always be akumas, there’s never not a fucking akuma in Paris! But hey, you think they'd put that in the brochure or something so that a young Canadian teacher who wishes to strengthen her French by going to France, the girl would not choose Paris, but noooo, that’d be bad for tourism, not the literal fucking supervillian that has made it so that Parisians can’t cope with their anger anymore because they’ve been groomed to never be angry ever!”

Jason closed his eyes and listened to this woman rant about stuff that had probably been on her chest for a long time. He smiled when he heard her chug her beer, then sighed. He began to take a swig of his own beer.

“I think maybe I just need a good, rough fuck. Maybe then I’d feel better.”

Her words nearly made him spit out his beer, but he forced himself to swallow.

“Why would you want that?” He asked after coughing for a minute, setting down his beer. He felt his cheeks heat up as his mind wandered to less than savoury places.

“Because then maybe I’d unwind a bit. I’m always so worried or stressed lately, especially with Marinette almost getting akumatized last month thanks to that class of hers…”

He watched as she walked towards the edge of the ledge, setting a hand on a snow covered gargoyle. She could have looked back, could have seen his face, but she didn’t. Jason smiled at that and put his helmet back on. Slowly, he made his way up beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder.

“Why did you run after that girl today? You know that was pretty reckless.” He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Because I care about her. Not too many are caring about her right now and every part of my body is telling me to be there for this girl, to be… To be a part of her team. Her entire class excludes her, she’s this social outcast, save for the rest of the school who aren’t sharing one fucking braincell.” Eva sighed and turned, allowing Jason to stare deep into those vibrant purple eyes of hers. “I’m sorry, I went over all of my issues, but I didn’t let you talk once. That wasn’t fair.”

“I have brothers I can vent to, don’t worry about it. Besides, hearing you talk is kinda nice.” He shrugged, then blinked when there was a faint darkening to her eyes.

“Tell me, Mr. Red Hood…” Eva smiled and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. She could feel the warmth radiating off of his body and it made her shiver in delight. “Why would you bring lil ol me to a roof and get me some alcohol? Hoping to get lucky with a foreign girl?”

Her smile widened as she listened to him sputter, taking a step back, but grabbing the lapels of his jacket and tugging him along with her.

“I have a proposition for you. I want a week of fun, no strings, kinky as we want sex. I know you don’t know me, and I sure as hell don’t know you… But, what do you say?” At his silence, she let out a chuckle and leaned closer. “Unless you don’t think you can handle it.”

He was silent for the longest time. So long that Eva’s alcohol buzzed brain began to panic. Wait, what if he was ace or gay? Or was already in a relationship? He didn’t know her, why the fuck would he-

“You really sure you want this?” Red Hood leaned close, grabbing her wrists and giving them a light squeeze. “I’m not some gentle giant.”

“Oh, I certainly hope you aren’t.” Eva let out a lustful purr before she could stop herself.

“... Tomorrow night, I’ll be there around six thirty, got it? I’m taking you somewhere and we can work all of these pent up emotions out of you.” He hissed at her softly, making her tremble. “No excuses.”

“No excuses.” She agreed and grinned.

He took her back to the hotel, giving her a playful bow before he went back out into Gotham, disappearing into the night. Eva smiled as she kept the window open, watching him go.

“Evangeline! What are you doing with the window open, it’s freezing!” Calina snapped as soon as she stepped into the room, scowling at the TA. Eva didn’t respond as she shut the window, the dopey smile still on her face.

Taglist: @chocolate1721 @the-navistar-carol

#Seeing Red #maribat #kinda #jason todd x oc #Evangeline Bourbon

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Headcanon that for as much as the Batclan is hyped for being all mysterious and secretive and unknowable OUTSIDE of Gotham, born and bred Gothamites have no illusions about the Robins and Batgirls and assorted others being one big chaotic family.

Its hard to draw any other conclusion when you’re an enforcer for Falcone’s mob and currently cowering on a rooftop, (because that’s where all the really good crime happens in Gotham), already down for the count but that’s never a guarantee that more isn’t coming when its the Red Hood that just kicked your ass, and like...you’ve done some Bad Shit...and then all of a sudden, a purple caped and masked blonde girl vaults out of the shadows, shrieking “Glitter Bomb!” as she hurls a small sphere directly at the Red Hood’s helmet. Where it promptly bursts and showers the vigilante with well...glitter.

The fearsome Red Hood, rather than being speechless like yourself, wastes no time before shouting after the fleeing vigilante: “What the fuck, Spoiler? I’m out of bounds, this is a designated safe zone!”

But she merely hollers back over her shoulder, “Whatcha gonna do, Hood, die mad about it?”

Before leaping dramatically off the roof, arms outstretched, toes pointed, suspended in a pitch-perfect swan dive for the brief moment before gravity takes hold.....allowing Red Robin to swoop out of nowhere on a grapple line, gracefully poised in a theatrical ballet-esque configuration as he scoops the airborne Spoiler up with one arm and somehow still manages to flip Red Hood the finger before the grapple line’s arc takes them both out of sight.

“Goddammit,” the voice synthesizer in the Red Hood’s helmet intones mournfully. “I actually have to give them points for that one.”

You scooch cautiously to the left, hoping he’s sufficiently distracted by....whatever the hell that was, look, its Gotham, you’ve seen weirder...but the Hood’s red helmet swivels in your direction. Turns out its no less intimidating for being all covered in glitter. “Did I say we were done?”

The fact that they’re all part of the same Batshit family is also pretty apparent, say, when you’re a hitman whose attempted sniping of some public official at some swanky late night gala is interrupted by Nightwing.

He’s not even supposed to live here anymore, what the fuck, your intel on this op is so fucked and you’re literally going to kill your advance man for their shoddy recon work....and that’s when a demonic glow emerges from the depths of the alley you’ve ducked into. It’s Nightwing, again, even though you could’ve sworn you lost him a full three minutes ago, but something’s definitely happened to him between then and now. Where blue lines usually cut a lighter path across the dark black of his costume, but otherwise blend with the rest of the material, now they stand out boldly in the darkness, lit with their own flickering luminescence.

Also, they’re now hot pink.

“Are you usually glow in the dark, or did you already hit me and I’m just concussed right now?” You blurt out, which admittedly is not very professional of you, but whatever, this whole job has already gone completely FUBAR, and its not like you’re the one who looks like a glowing pink skeleton right now.

The vigilante scowls in a way that’s considerably more terrifying than you ever thought someone could look, y’know, while wearing the equivalent of an outfit made out of glowsticks left over from Burning Man.

“You’d think that three little brothers would be enough, but noooo. Apparently not. Someone, in their infinite wisdom, decided actually what I really need, is four.”

He says. As though that explains anything, let alone everything.

You blink. “Huh?”

Then a cackle resounds from somewhere above you, echoes of wheezing laughter bouncing down the brick walls of the alley to reach your ears. You crane your head back, looking up to see the bright yellow costume of the Signal perched atop a gargoyle two buildings over and three stories up. The younger vigilante strikes a heroic pose and thrusts his fist into the sky just as said sky opens up and the formerly cloudless night erupts in a ferocious downpour, allowing a timely stroke of lightning to flash and silhouette the posing hero dramatically.

Look, its Gotham. It just does that sometimes.

“Have no fear, Neonwing is here!” The Signal shouts from up above them, before collapsing into another fit of hysterical cackles. You vaguely remember that the new kid on the block is supposed to be a meta of some kind, have some kind of light powers, and you absent-mindedly connect the dots to Nightwing’s mid-chase...wardrobe change, just as the kid backflips out of sight.

The vigilante standing right next to you - pretty much within striking distance, you suddenly realize, gauging how distracted he is by this....whatever...that definitely has nothing to do with you other than potentially being your get out of jail free card here - he’s still busy glowering up at the spot the Signal could last be seen at.

“Yeah, laugh it up now, buddy, but wait until I tell Robin who really forgot to feed his cat when he was off with the Titans last weekend!”

There’s a moment filled only with the sound of raindrops on pavement then, Nightwing still preoccupied, you still veeeeeeery slowly reaching for the spare gun you keep tucked in a special holster nestled in the small of your back....then Signal’s voice drifts down once more, faintly this time.

“I maybe did not think this all the way through.”

You strike then, while Nightwing starts to respond again. Or at least, that’s the plan. In actuality, you get the gun out of its holster and aimed in front of you, but nothing more helpful than that before an escrima stick is lancing through the air and impacting your forehead with enough force to knock you on your ass.

There’s the sound of footsteps mixed in with the rain now, before Nightwing’s glow in the dark, hot pink skeletal figure appears in your new skyward aimed field of view. The vigilante puts his hands on his hips and scowls. “Hey, did you not see me trying to have a conversation with my brother here? Rude.”

You groan. Now you have a concussion.

#kalen writes things sometimes #not!fic #sorta?#idk how to tag stuff

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jupitermelichios · 5 years

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Jupiter’s Top 10 Fic Series of the Decade

In no particular order (and belonging to no particular fandom)

Honourable Mentions: Of Hunters & Hellblazers by KittyAug - Self Help by maskedfangirl - Bad Jokes by hahaharley - Doubtful Sanity by DustToDust - Wilton’s Bakery ‘Verse by machine_dove & sproings - Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc by etothepii - New Favourite F Word by Polaris - little beasts by noctiphany & likewinning

drawn into something by Nonymos (Venom, Eddie/Venom, Dan/Anne, Eddie/Venom/Dan/Anne)

“Eddie, you… and him.”

“Yeah.” Eddie stares at the floor. “And… and look, Annie, I know it’s weird, but I can explain, I…”

His voice breaks, he’s damn near tearing up, panic rising again—and he jumps when Anne cups his face.

“Hey, it’s—it’s all right, Eddie.” She’s making a valiant effort to smile. “Don’t get so worked up. I’m not gonna run screaming.”

“No?” He laughs and sniffs. “Damn. Starting to wonder what it’s gonna take, at this point.”

This is not Nonymos’s only entry on this list. In fact they may just be my favourite fanfic author of all time. Drawn into something is everything everything I want from a Venom sequel, emotional, kinky, romantic, and poly.

OTP: Fight Club by MorganOfTheFey (Detroit: Become Human, RK900/Gavin)

"One hundred. Ten X," Nines says, voice flat enough it almost doesn't sound like bragging. "I would have been decommissioned otherwise."

"Ohhhh. Aw, that's sad. Just," She tries to snap her fingers and gets distracted for a moment when she can't. "Jus'like that?"

"Yeah RK, that's so sad," Gavin echoes. "Can you play yourself despacito?"

His own phone blares the song barely a second later. Gavin drops a few f-bombs fumbling to get it out of his jacket pocket and turn it off. Then as soon as he puts it back in his pocket, it starts up again.

"Thank you for the suggestion, detective," RK900 says. "This is making me feel better."

The fourth part of this is still coming out, and it’s the highlight of my week when the new chapter drops.

Dreams of the Waking Man by Lex_Munroe (Marvel Comics, Wade/Cable, Daken/Bullseye, Wade & Hope)

All at once, it hurts. It hurts worse than the day Nate died (because Wade couldn’t accept it back then, insisted that Nate had managed to timeslide out, that the busted old telemetry circuit would only let him go forward and he was just lost for a little while).

He sits in the middle of the floor, ducks his head, cries.

She was smarter than he was—than he is. She’d known all along. Brave girl.

Timesliding doesn’t work right on Wade, never has, and their cobbled-together sliding module barely had power to take one stringy teenager for one jump.

She’d known she was leaving her parents, that she certainly wouldn’t see one of them again and quite possibly wouldn’t see the other.

Wade allows himself a moment more for grief and shame and humility. Then he clears his throat and wipes his eyes and gets back to work.

This may be the cleverest fic I’ve ever read. Crossovers, theoretical physics, and the best love story Marvel never wrote.

The Mountains Are The Same by bonehandledknife & Primarybufferpanel (Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa/Max, Furiosa/Ace, Everyone & Healthy Coping Mechanisms)

“'Real isn’t how you are made’” Gilly said with the air of a quote, of a Remembering, “'It’s a thing that happens to you.’”

Rotor closed his eyes in a long blink, “A thing that hurts, innit it right?”

“Sometimes,” Gilly agreed, squeezing his hand, “That’s life though, when you are Real. We all become it bit by bit. But it doesn’t happen if you’re not strong, if you’re not soft, if you’re not sturdy.”

“ But how can y'be all of those at once ?” he wheezed out. It’s getting hard to catch his breath.

“You are all that right now, aren’t you?” Gilly asked him with piercing eyes, “No one else of all these Boys has had the strength to ask for me. And I will Witness you as I have kept all those of my sisters who’ve fallen these past days.”

This series is not always easy, it doesn’t shy away from the hard or the dark or the painful, but it is always worth reading.

The Unspoken Truth by Nonymos (MCU, Clint/Loki)

Barton glared at him like he was trying to decide whether he was being mocked or not, but the next second, his shoulders slumped. Loki was familiar with the feeling – that dreadful feeling of discovering something repulsive in one's own nature.

And then, he waited. He waited for Barton to think and connect the dots, to realize that an obvious solution was standing just before him, to remember how he had felt when waking up tied down, or being forced to drink down the water. The demi-god just stood there, hoping – almost praying for the first time in his life – that his enemy would look up at him with something else than hatred in his eyes.

No one writes kink quite like Nonymos writes kink, and this series is the perfect encapsulation of that.

The Stone Gryphon by rthstewart (Narnia, primarily Gen)

"Tools!" Richard was so shocked he was near speechless. He sat down heavily on the bench and began writing frantically in that strange code. "You are saying that you have observed ordinary crows use tools? Peter, that is… remarkable."

"Well, I've seen Beavers use fishing tackle and sewing machines, so it didn't seem that unusual at the time."

I’m not going to lie, this may not be to everyone’s taste. But, amateur theologian, lover of weird animal facts, and history nerd that I am, there are very few fics more exactly tailored to my interests.

Republic of Heaven Community Radio by ErinPtah (WtNV x His Dark Materials, Cecil/Carlos)

The greeting catches both her and Carlos off-guard. It's not wrong to talk directly to another person's daemon, but it's still a little weird. "Likewise," she stammers.

They're both waiting for the obvious next step, which is for Cecil to introduce his daemon. The fact that Carlos hasn't spotted her yet is understandable — a big community gathering in a small space, you get plenty of daemons breaking away from their humans to socialize directly with each other. Any of the dozen animal shapes currently within ten feet of them could be Cecil's. If his daemon has an unusually high range, there are even more possibilities.

What Cecil says instead is, "If you ever have any important experimental-theology news that you need to share with the town, call me any time! Everyone listens to my show." There's a touch of what Carlos hopes is nothing more sinister than smugness when he adds, "Everyone."

He steps out of the way to let someone else interrogate Carlos, and vanishes into the crowd. Carlos doesn't get a chance to see what daemon he leaves with.

This may be the most carefully thought out crossover I’ve ever read, and I’m a little in awe of ErinPtah’s skills.

The Soul in the Machine by missdreawrites & Troodon (Dishonoured, Corvo/Outsider)

“... Outsider?” Corvo asked, sitting down on the filthy floor. “In the published list of the people who died of the Plague… how many were registered Augments?”

“Son of a bitch, ” Corvo swore with feeling. “This is… look at this waste. We aren't even people to them, are we?” He looked down at the body next to him. “And I killed the one person who could help. I did this. I doomed an entire people to plague, and murder and…”

The cyberpunk Dishonoured AU I desperately wish I’d thought of, because it works so very well.

In Which Tony Stark Builds Himself Some Friends (But His Family Was Assigned by Nick Fury) by scifigrl47 (MCU, Steve/Tony)

“Do you know what the difference between a villain and a super villain is, Stark?” Coulson said, leaning his palms on the tabletop, looming over everything like a very snappily dressed gargoyle.

“Style?” Tony asked, pointing both index fingers in Coulson's direction like the gunslinger that he was. He added a wide grin to the gesture, but Coulson didn't seem to notice.

“A villain has a giant mass of robotic vacuum cleaners that he can sic on his enemies. A super villain gives them the ability to fly.”

“In my defense, I do not actually remember installing repulsor technology in the Roombas,” Tony said, choosing his words carefully. It had been a working theory, sure, but he still wasn't quite sure when he implemented it. Maybe sometime on Tuesday night... That one was a blur. “It was a very long couple of days. So I was as surprised by that as everyone else.”

This doesn’t really count as a rec, since everyone in the fandom has read it already, but it really wouldn’t be fair to draw up a ‘best of the 2010s’ list and not include this.

A Great and Gruesome Height by mokuyoubi (Hannibal, Will/Hannibal)

Bedelia lashes out but Will is quicker. He grabs her wrist, pressing hard between the delicate bones with his thumb, until she makes a soft noise of distress and drops the fork.

Hannibal purses his lips and leans in close to her ear. “Now that is disappointing,” he whispers, and Bedelia has the good sense to be afraid with that mouth so near her skin. He inhales her scent deeply and straightens. “I thought you and I were beyond such petty jabs.”

“Were it not for the fact that you required medical attention, I have no doubt I would have met a similarly crass ending at the hands of your pet,” she says, lip curling in disgust.

Hannibal smiles serenely and says, “Will is a creature entirely of his own making. It is not to me to guide his hand. Merely to share in the sublime perfection of his vision, when he allows it.”

There are many dark!Will stories out there, and most of them are a lot of fun, but few are quite at believable as this one.

#top 10 list #top 10 fic #stony #hannigram #symbrock #cablepool #reed900 #cecilos #frosthawk #fic recs

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twstsimping · 4 years

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I’m finally ready to introduce her properly!!! Meet Jay Blanc, the resident disaster of savanaclaw~!

More info under the cut!

Personal information

Name: Jay Blanc

Gender: female

Age: 15

Birthday: august 27th

Starsign: Virgo

Height: 173cm

Eye colour: brown

Hair colour: ginger

Homeland: undisclosed

Professional information

Dorm: Savanaclaw

School year: 1st

Class: 1A

Occupation: student

Club: gargoyle research club

Best subject: flying

Fun facts

Dominant hand: right

Favourite food: anything sweet

Least favourite food: onions

Dislikes: heights, the dark, insects

Hobby: drawing

Talent: falling asleep standing up

Personality

Jay loud and easily excitable, somewhat like a puppy. She gets along easily with practically everyone due to her friendly, sunshine-y attitude, and is good at being in everyone’s good books. However, she often shifts how she acts with different people so that they’ll like her, so her relationships often lack sincerity, and she struggle to deeply connect with others. Despite this, she’s very genuine in wanting to help everyone, even if she doesn’t know them very well, and it shows in her advice. She’s ready to give her whole heart to anyone who needs it, and is often used a very good shoulder to cry on, who is always genuine when needed, and can give surprisingly good advice. She’s very awkward socially due to a lack of understanding of how other people work, and often trips over her words trying to say the correct thing. She will also say some very strange things when in a social situation she isn’t comfortable with, and can come off as quite strange and eccentric. Even though there’s a lot more to her personality, it isn’t wrong to say that she is quite eccentric, having a strange sense of humour and being very loud. She’s constantly trying to done her personality and excitement, because she is very aware that she can be very annoying. She gets easily over excited and can be very overbearing to people who aren’t used to her. Even with her friends, she still worries that if she lets herself go completely they’ll stop liking her. Her fear of isolation and overall clingy ness causes her to grow attached very quickly. She can be overwhelming for quiet or aloof people due to the amount of love and affection she’s constantly giving to everyone she knows. She gets so easily attached to people that she can even get a bit possessive, not liking it when they spend more time with others than her, or when they ignore her. She doesn’t get angry when this happens, but instead very depresses. She’ll have a complete personality 180 at the smallest thing, going from happy and bubbly to silent and brooding. Because of her sudden mood swings it’s quite hard to predict what she’s gonna do next, and you need to have slight caution over what you say, so as to not hit a nerve. Having grown up as the only neurotypical child in her house, she was given the role as the happy one, and eventually it became the only thing she could use to define herself. Even after she changed a lot and got a lot of self esteem issues, she still continued to be attached to that title, never daring to stop always smiling out of fear that she wouldn’t be wanted or needed if she changed. She suffers from a bad inferiority complex which reveolves around her sister, Annalise Blanc. She’s very attached to Annalise, and will practically never want to leave her side, always calling out to her when they pass by eachother in the hallways and coming to visit her dorm. Despite this, Jay has a lot of pent up resentment towards Annalise, who was always the parents favourite. She doesn’t like her friends being close to Annalise because she’s afraid that they’ll grow to like her more and she’ll be left alone.

Unique magic

Jays unique magic is called ‘Guiding lights’

It’s quite simple and lacks many practical uses. She can create any number of lights and control them as long as they are within her eyesight. However, the further away from her they go, the dimmer they get. They can dispel magical darkness, but apart from that they’re just regular lights. Jay uses it most often at night, when she’s scared of the dark.

Trivia

Jay is a perfectionist, needing to be the best at everything she does. However, she doesn’t put any effort into things she isn’t naturally good at, and so she’s always left disappointed.

Jay learned to sleep standing up when she joined savanaclaw and had to wake up at 6am every morning. She got so tired that she eventually just started sleeping during practice.

Jay is scared of a lot of things, and always has very colourful reactions when she has to face them, especially bugs, in which she will scream and jump into the arms of the nearest person to her.

Despite being very against violence, Jay will often challenge people to fights as a joke. If she didn’t have the protection of some of the scariest people in the school, she’d probably be very hurt by now.

Jay always tries to be a nice person, but when she’s comfortable around someone, her ‘smug bastard’ mode will come out, where she’ll laugh at their misfortune and make fun of them relentlessly. She’ll always stop this if she goes too far however.

Jay only joined the gargoyle research club to hang out with malleus. When she learned how passionate about it he was, she started revising about gargoyles in her fee time.

When Jay first joined the school, she knew practically no Japanese. She signed a contract with Azul to get him to help her learn, and as a result ended up working in the monstro lounge for a couple of months, until she was practically fluent.

Jay is very bad at relaxing, and is almost always thinking of something else she should be doing instead. She often needs another person to help slow down the pace of her life so she doesn’t get overwhelmed.

Jays hobby is drawing, and she’s very passionate about it. Her favourite pastime is listening to some music and just going ham.

When she was younger, Jay had a very bad lisp, and she had to get speech therapy to get it removed. She’s much better at speaking without it now, but fo she gets too exited/nervous and startes talking too fast it’ll come through.

Jay is very attached to all sorts of plushies, and has a mountain of them on her bed. She’s constantly worried that the rest of savanaclaw will find out, she she makes sure that her room is completely secure constantly.

Jay hates savanaclaw. It’s always hot and she thinks the outfit is hideous. She’s always complaining about how she wants to move dorm, but whenever someone brings it up she always comes up with a convenient excuse.

Due to her many fears of the dark and demons etc, Jay will often camp out in Leonas room. He gets a lot less sleep because of her constantly waking him up so they can go check if that was Ruggie or cuthulu coming to claim her soul.

Jay hates physical activity. She’s always been the more artsy type, and she hates the outdoors. However, there’s one thing she loves more than anything else, and that’s money. When her dad started offering her money for physical labour, she suddenly got a lot more athletic.

In the same vane, it’s rumoured that Jay will do anything of you pay her enough. In reality, this is mostly true, unless it involves her hurting someone else.

Jay is very good at flying, even though she is scared of heights. This means that she will zoom up into the sky and then have a panic attack because she’s too high.

Jays on the starting line up for the savanaclaw magishift team, mostly due to her great combo attacks with Ruggie.

#twst oc #disney twst #twisted wonderland oc #Jay Blanc #my art #look at her go #my trash child #little gremlin #please be kind to her #shes nice i promise

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ohducknewton · 5 years

Note

How about Argo trying to apply ship life to college life? Like waking his roomates at good awful hours to prepare for the day, dropping a sea story into every conversation he can, and of course singing any shanties at any time, anywhere. Doesnt have to be all 3, just examples of his "Years at Sea" rubbing off

‘While engaged in a fight, your hero/villain becomes trapped under a collapsed stone bridge measuring ten feet wide and forty feet long. Their arch nemesis is currently sixty-feet away from them and has a walking speed of forty feet per six seconds. Using the provided information, calculate the cost of the bridge repair for the town to the nearest-’

Whatever the next words on the page are, Argo doesn’t register them. He’s been slogging through his accounting homework for two hours and the words have all started to blend together into a jumbled mess of numbers and unnecessary information. Flopping back on to his bed, Argo takes a moment to stare up at the ceiling.

It’s quiet.

He breathes.

It’s so quiet.

Another breath.

It’s never been this quiet in his life.

Argo tries to bolt upright, but it’s too gentle- Too many years on the sea with a hammock to sleep on has trained him to not make any sudden movements while in bed unless he wants to get tipped onto the floor.

“Gary,” he manages to get out. “Gary help.”

In an instant, the gargoyle shifts to life and Argo nearly sighs in relief at the sound of the stone grating against itself. “Ay there, whaddya need kid?”

Argo opens his mouth before realising that he doesn’t have anything to ask.

“Hey? Genie boy? You called? Don’t got all day here. Well, that’s not true, can’t really go anywhere else but . . .”

“Oh I just wanted a friendly chat! Get to know you better! You are in a sense our fourth roommate, only kind to not leave you out of things!”

“Well let’s see. Name’s Gary. I’m a gargoyle. Part of a hivemind. Not much more to it.”

“But what of your hobbies, your predilections? Maybe a certain other gargoyle who’s caught your fancy?” Argo waggles his eyebrows and twirls the ends of his mustache, happy with this momentary distraction from the quiet.

However, never in his life has Argo seen stone look so unimpressed. “What part of gargoyle do you not understand kid? I’m permanently stuck to this wall. Not many chances for hobbies.”

“I could bring you a crossword if you want?”

“ . . . Yeah that’d actually be great.”

Argo smiles. “No problem.”

And then the silence returns, but before he can quickly come up with a new topic of conversation, the sound of stone shifting draws his attention to Gary just as he asks, “What’d ya really want?”

“I-” Argo doesn’t look at him and instead starts picking at one of his scales. “Is it always so quiet here?”

Gary pauses. “What? You think this is quiet? It sounds like your upstairs neighbors are moving all their furniture and I can hear someone asking their own Gary to give ‘em the answers to their homework. How is that quiet?”

“It just is. I mean, you have to understand, I was raised on the seas! The sound of the waves crashing against the hull, the gulls crying out, all my shipmates singing some shanty, even the damn creaking when the boat turned, it’s all I know. So this,” He motions to the empty room and laughs, though it sounds hollow. “This is maddening. I don’t know how you all put up with it.”

With that, Argo once again flops down onto the bed and tries to imagine that it’s slightly swaying with the movement of a boat.

It doesn’t work.

“Ya know,” Gary starts. “Sounds to me like you’re homesick. Completely natural, lotta students go through it. Best advice I can give is to bring those little bits of home straight here.”

He rolls over to face Gary. “And how do you suggest I do that?”

“Well, let’s see- Getting the sound of the ocean in here’s probably out of the question, closest one is about a two weeks journey away . . .”

“Thank you oh so much for reminding me.”

“Don’t think you’re allowed gulls in here” Gary continues, pretending he didn’t hear that. “Besides, the cat would eat that thing right away.”

Argo blinks. “Sorry, there’s a cat?”

He shrugs as much as a gargoyle can. “Eh, cat- Interdimensional being whose very nature is hard to perceive, whichever, she’s around here somewhere.”

Argo’s not sure how he feels about this, but doesn’t get the chance to process it before Gary continues on.

“Hmm, what else . . . Oh, well why don’t you sing? Can’t you and your little buddies, I don’t know, start an acapella group or something. Might help ya out?”

“I’m not so sure about that. Neither Sir Fitzroy or Bud really seem like the singing type.”

Another shrug. “Well I don’t know then cause if you think I’m gonna sit up here making whooshing noises, ya got another thing-”

“Wait!” Argo exclaims as bolts upright for real this time. “Gary you’re a genius!”

“Oh well uh, thank you? I think? Don’t know what I did.”

As he scrambles to put on his boots he calls over to Gary,“If Sir Fitzroy and Buddy return before I do, tell them I’ll be back at a rate of knots!”

“Yeah I don’t know what that means!”

But Argo doesn’t respond, already out the door and racing down the halls of Wiggenstaff, relishing the loud clap of his shoes against the cobblestone.

~~~

“Well how about Sediment? We could shorten it to Sedi?”

“If that is what you wish to call me.”

“So that’s a no. Alright, Fred? Would you- Is Fred alright?”

“You are one who will be using name. My opinion does not matter.”

Fitzroy groans as he and the Firbolg currently known as Buddy walk back to their dorm. “And yet you seem to have a lot of opinions on ‘Bud’, hmm?”

And whatever Bud was going to say next is cut off as they round the corner of their hallway and the muffled noises they had been hearing before come into focus as the very distinct sound of someone singing.

Or more accurately, the very distinct sound of Argo singing.

They both share a look before continuing on to their room, the singing getting louder and louder and louder until they open the door and see Argo sitting on his bed doing his accounting homework and singing at the top of his lungs.

“We're the boys that fear no noise! Whilst the thundering cannons roar!”

FItzroy raises an eyebrow. “Ahem.”

“And long we've toiled on the rolling wave!”

“Ahem.”

“And now we're safe on shore!”

“Argo!”

“Safe and sound at h- Oh! How goes it friends?”

However, even though Argo’s singing has stopped, the noise in the room has not- As sitting on a shelf is a shiny new conch shell from which the gentle sound of rolling waves echoes from.

Fitzroy adjusts his fake glasses as he goes over to inspect the new addition to their room. “What is this?”

“Oh that? It’s an enchanted conch that mimics the sound of the sea, picked it up in Last Hope! Isn’t it just marvelous!”

And for just a moment, both Fitzroy and Buddy look on at their roommate, notice his smile, how he sways to and fro like he could start dancing any moment, how he’s the happiest he’s been since arriving.

Any prior hesitation about the conch vanishes.

Buddy is the first to speak. “I like it. Forest is loud, I do not enjoy the quiet here. This helps.”

“Well it is rather calming,” Fitzroy adds on. “Which is- Well let’s just say that will be a boon rather than a bane to me.”

Argo beams at the both of them. “Jolly good! Now, how would you two feel about working on this accounting homework together?”

And as the three of them work through their homework together, the only silences being the brief pauses between discussions or explanations of some sailor-term, no one notices Gary the Gargoyle perched above them, humming a sea-chanty as he completes his newly acquired crossword.

It may not be the sea, but it may one day be home.

#taz graduation #Argo Keene #gary the gargoyle #Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt #Buddy #taz #taz: g #my stuff #fic #this turned out way different than i planned but im really pleased with it #i just really like the idea of Argo being so unused to land and using what is essentially a fantasy white noise machine to help

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ghostsofruefell · 5 years

Note

Can we get some Bookie Loving? maybe a 22 “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” or a 46 “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”

(Yes, I’m still doing this. Doing 22 with an AU where Brooklyn is a friendly rival witch in college (if MC had gone), just for fun. It also got long but I can’t put this under a cut, so we’re all just gonna live with scrolling past it.)

The library is a sanctuary. So imposingly big with polished mahogany bookshelves embroidered with gold (possibly even real!) reaching all the way to its high ceilings, so vast it needed a second floor with spiral staircase climbing up and up. And each shelf filled to the brim with books. It intimidated you at first but you soon grew to learn its true nature: It’s a haven and once you embrace it for what it is it, too, shall embrace you and allow you to find the comfort it can provide. So big you’ll never be disturbed. So full of books you’ll have knowledge right at your fingertips, so silent you can lose yourself in the absolute peace of a stress-free environment.

…Or that would be the case, normally. But, as you brush past bookshelves-turned-layers-of-walls, you can hear that obnoxious rattling that’s grown just too distinct for you not to put a name to.

Finally coming upon one of the many long tables laid out for students studying or doing their homework, you see him. Yep, that’s him. Of course.

Brooklyn Jones is seated at a chair half pulled from the table, one leg folded over the other. His eyes are closed, back straight, as he shakes a cup filled with dice, looking so very peaceful in the noise with which he’s filling the once silent library. As if just to make it worse, the dice hits against the rings that decorate the fingers held over the opening of the cup, causing the full-bodied clanking to be interspersed with a ringing ‘tink’ sound.

You can’t help but slide a step back a ways, better hiding yourself at the edge of the books as you observe his actions.

There’s already a 12″ circle carved into the table in front of him, a measurement made for witch students practicing divination. However that’s more often considered a side hobby or as insignificant as a morning routine while a witch practices their real craft, yet Brooklyn—Bookie, as he’s known by others—seems to have made it his sole craft. He’s an eccentric but likable sort so no one has had the nerve to admit their opinions in front of him, but you’ve certainly heard the whispering behind his back. How he must be a very low powered witch, his connection to the After shamefully frail, and he ought to consider rethinking his desire to be a full witch… But then they go on, saying he must be doing his best to be as far removed from his “pitiful druggie brother” as possible. That the true pitiable one is Bookie himself.

Your jaw clenches as you hear once again those voices drift through your mind, not just students but a teacher even said that! Those obnoxious… they’re noisier than the dice in that cup and not even half as useful.

“You can come out, little witch.”

You’re jolted back to reality as that voice calls out, breaking the silence you hadn’t realized fell already. You swallow back those biting memories and cautiously step into the light.

The three dice now lay scattered in the circle. Brooklyn’s not looking at you, but elbows on the table and fingers laced under his chin, his scrutinizing gaze is fixed on the dice.

He doesn’t say anything as you wander over to stand on the other side of him.“You sure spend most of your time on Astragalomancy.” The comment comes on impulse and instantly you want to kick yourself. Sure, that didn’t sound snarky at all… Ugh, you’re no better than those rude gossipers, are you? Why does Brooklyn’s presence alone get your tongue all twisted? Everything just comes out all wrong.

“No one’s as good at it as me,” he answers, tone so casual, but words so arrogant. You can’t help but let out a light laugh. However, the retort dies in your throat as you finally get a look at the piece of paper sitting on the wood finish.

These… predictions… These aren’t normal.

You almost stop short of touching the paper, like it’ll burn you… or worse, but you push that paranoia back and slide the paper a little closer to the edge of the table. Brooklyn eyes the movement but you’re not looking to find any emotion in his face.

“4. Lucy Leilin will finally be found.”

“7. Headmaster Fairset’s affair will be exposed.”

“11. The truth about the gargoyle is revealed. Someone(?) is arrested for her(?) forbidden magic.”

And number 13 simply says, “November 3rd.”

This isn’t how you were taught to divine. This is too specific. These are predictions of someone with True knowledge, the kind given by… the After.

Maybe what he said really wasn’t a joke.

You swallow hard around the nerves now bundling in your throat. It’s an effort, you don’t want to, but your trembling gaze finally tears itself from the paper to the dice.

But Brooklyn swept them away before you could see the result. His eyes are locked on your face, emotion carefully guarded in them. They snap away a moment later. The silence digs its claws in your shoulders and weighs you down.

Finally, Brooklyn slides the paper away. “I’m just trying to freak you out,” he says, nonchalant.

You kind of thought he’d let it pass awkwardly, like you’d both pretend you didn’t see what you just saw. At least he’s not running from it and… for some reason, that really lifts the tension from your shoulders. You shake your head.

“Yeah, you seem like a snake like that.” You flash him a smile as you finally take the seat beside him. He scoffs in response, placing an offended hand on his chest.

“I am an innocent human being,” he declares. “A pitiable witch, isn’t it?”

He takes a leather binding from his bag to slip the paper in among a small stack of others, attaching the small satin bag he put the dice into, and snaps it closed. You lightly chew at your bottom lip. You know what he’s referring to. He knows you know what he’s referring to.

“…You’ve heard before, haven’t you?”

An idle smile plays at his lips even as venom seeps into his timbre

“About? Oh, that gossip whispered when my back is turned. Oh yes. Those two-faced brats aren’t as quiet as they think they’re being. Or maybe I just know too many things. There’s a lot going on behind my back. I’ve heard the things they say about me when they think I can’t hear.”

He pauses, staring down at the closed binding sat in front of him. It’s like a switch flips inside him as a smirk slowly grows on his lips. He runs his thumb over his bottom lip as those light green eyes zero in on you.

“And you know what else?” That smirk is starting to make you nervous. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

You blanch.

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice wavers, but you mean it. You and Brooklyn had some sort of simultaneous friendship and rivalry since you were freshman. Although, anyone could agree you’re the more powerful witch, the “better” witch, as it were. But… That paper flashes in your mind again. No… maybe not anyone, not anymore. Besides that, you’re sure you’ve never looked at him in... any way. Not that you’re sure what way he’s referring to.

The chair groans against the old wood of the floor as Brooklyn rises from his seat.

“Maybe you don’t know it yourself.” He draws closer, shadow creeping over your still seated form and his lean frame now towers over you. You lean back as he leans forward, until your noses are nearly an inch apart. Those eyes, those sharp eyes that know too much seem to just stare straight into you, finding with ease every deep, dark corner. Ready to draw them into the light. Expose you. Make you naked. Those lips wear that growing smirk well, those thin lips with so many secrets sitting on them, ready to be told and wreak havoc magnificently. Those lips… that are inching ever closer to yours… that might…

“So, I’ll wait until you do,” Brooklyn whispers. Then straightens up. Just like that, the moment bursts as he slides on the sunglasses he’d leaned over you to retrieve.

Gathering his things, he tilts his head to regard you over the top of his shades. Only, now those lips form his usual friendly, disarming smile like nothing happened.

Then he turns and departs before you can even process what just happened, with one last call over his shoulder.

“See ya around, little witch.”

#ask meme #(still need to rename that tag)#Brooklyn #I finally fucking wrote something

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moonlightreal · 4 years

Text

Winx Club season 8/26

In which we get one last surprise retcon.

26 Written in the Stars

Recap says the last prime star is the “star of brotherly love.” Were the other stars “of” things? I totally missed that.

Valtor’s asteroid! ...wait, what’s this? Valtor is having a chat with a bunch of unforeshadowed Shadowy Figures he calls “my brothers of the darkness dimension.” Valtor gathered the prime stars to free them and they’re getting impatient.

Gee, this series already dropped one big fat surprise motive, I was not expecting another one in the very last episode!

So Valtor wants to be a powerful sorcerer so he can unseal the darkness dimension and free his buddies. Whaaaaaat even is this? Valtor’s not from some weird dimension, he was created by the Three Ancestors! His backstory is what made him cool, and “buddies in the dark dimension’ is so uninspired!

Season 8, whaddaya doing to me? -_-

Alfea at sunrise! they’re squeezing the best gorgeous Alfea shots out of their software for this last episode and I am here for it. Upgraded Alfea is just the greatest.

Kiko rocks on with headphones. The Trix walk in behind him. How did they get iiiiiin?! Into the Winx common room, past the school barrier and all the students and teachers.

Kiko sees the Trix and freaks out. Icy knows the bunny’s name, which is kinda sweet. Knowing your enemies’ pets! Kiko pelts the Trix with apples from an apparently infinite fruit bowl. The Winx wake up and find witches dodging apples.

Badass Bloom: “I don’t know how you got here, but I know how you’re gonna leave!”

The Trix turn out to be Stella, Flora and Aisha transformed. Not bad, writers. Professor Wizgiz made the spell for them for Bloom’s plan to get into Valtor’s asteroid. Flora says it’ll be dangerous and Aisha sounds kind of fed up when she says, ‘Ok, Flora, but don’t worry too much.”

Bloom’s phone rings, it’s Sky with a be-careful call.

The star box poofs in. “The goal of your venture will not slip away, but listen carefully to what I’m going to say...” I assume she’s telling them where Valtor’s asteroid is. The Wishing Star would know, and I don’t see how else the Winx would.

We cut to the real Trix walking down a dark blue and purple corridor. Icy is keen to challenge Valtor, she thinks their prime star will give them enough of an advantage. Darcy and Stormy are not so confidant. Stormy sensibly suggests they just take their freedom and clear out.

Icy: ‘because right now we’re standing on the needle of a scale. A scale that will tip in our favor when we take Valtor’s three stars. We’ll have the power of the wishing star all to ourselves.” Icy wants to break the spell on Sapphire. Stormy wants them to be undisputed queens of the magic universe. Darcy’s dream is to “overturn the law of nature itself. A world of illusion, can you imagine?” Ok, they’ll try attacking Valtor with Icy.

Wow, and Icy says, ‘If things go bad, run, and leave me to my fate.” so Icy is putting it on the line not just for Sapphire but for Darcy and Stormy, which is remarkably honorable, for Icy. They hug, and it’s sweet. Then they enter the throne room!

Valtor’s just done chatting with his shadow buddies I guess. Icy starts to say something, I think she’s going to bluff that they couldn’t get the star, when the room shakes and rocks fall from the ceiling. Thunder.

Stormy: ‘don’t look at me, I didn’t do it.” Heh. Valtor orders the Trix outside to check it out.

Outside, it’s Bloom, Tec and Musa who’s hitting the building with “sonic shake” I think meant to draw their enemies out. And it worked!

The Trix are happy to have a fight, even though this would be the perfect time for Icy to do a little “enemy of my enemy” stuff. But the Trix just like fighting the Winx I guess. It’s their hobby.

Inside, fake-Trix walk along the corridor and Aisha-as-darcy nearly falls over because her shoes are too tight. it’s an illusion spell, why are you wearing Trix shoes? Flora suggests they fly instead.

Fake-trix sneak into the throne room. Valtor is back to taking to his shadow buddies and he explains his whole plan before turning and seeing the fake-Trix. Stella is kinda hilarious doing the whole, ‘prime star? Oh, um, didn’t you have it?” thing as Icy. She says it might be in her pocket and Valtor reminds them they have no pockets. Pffffft. Seriously, Valtor is dumb as a doorknob not to realize.

The real Trix and Bloom bust in through the roof and Valtor is momentarily confused before the Winx all turn back into themselves.

Valtor demands the star from Icy. Stella says, ‘don’t give it to him!” and spills Valtor’s plan to release his shadow buddies. Valtor tries activating his mark on the Trix but surprise, it’s gone!

Bloom does a little speech about “if you give it to Valtor it will be the end of everything, the magic universe will cease to exist, is that really whet you want?” and “On Dyamond I realized there is love in you.” Bloom doesn’t know about Sapphire, remember, she just knows Icy likes cute baby animals.

Valtor blasts Bloom and reminds Icy that the Winx are their worst enemies and that they’ll be rich and powerful beyond imagining if they help him out! Then he blasts Bloom again, but she shields herself, lights up, and says, “In your heart you know there’s only one thing to do.”

But Valtor evil-lights up.

The Winx and Trix know a bad thing when they see it and fly away.

The whole castle busts open and there’s a gargoyle with Valtor’s mark across its chest. It doesn’t look or sound like Valtor at all, but I guess that’s him. Giant gargoyle goes after the Winx. It throws blast after blast of dark magic at them and the girls raise their shields. Rainbow put in a little detail, Tec’s is green and techy, Aisha’s is morphix. But they can’t hold out for too long.

Here come the Specialists in their ship! It flies back and forth distracting the gargoyle.

Back on the asteroid, Darcy and Stormy want to skip town, leave the Winx to deal with the giant monster. But Icy does not want the magic universe destroyed! Darcy and stormy plead with her, Let’s just save ourselves!”

Flashback to Princess Icy on the overlook, vowing to save her sister. Young Icy raises glowing hands to her hair, smoothing the yellow frizz into sleek silver, and conjuring the tall thingy Icy uses to hold up her ponytail. “So, sis… Icy.” Like she’s embracing the darker possibilities of her name.

Present time Icy: ‘I watched a world crumble before. I won’t let it happen again. we’ll face this threat!” The other two go with her.

Valtor at first thinks they’re on his side, but then Icy gives the star to Bloom! She puts it in the star case and the other three fly out of the castle and go into the case as well. We fade into magc-space and the Wishing Star gets herself back together!

“Yes Winx, you’ve achieved your goal, and I am free. To make your greatest dream a reality.”

Stella’s stoked. Wishes! But the others realize they have to ask for something that’s good for everybody. Bloom knows what they should wish for!

Bloom: “Our wish is to be able to protect the magic universe. We want to preserve it in harmony, now and forever.”

The star: ‘so be it, Winx. My brave and generous fairies of light.”

The star sends her light to the Winx and they all glow golden.

Valtor gargoyle tells the Trix this is all their fault.

But before he can bring the violence the glowy Winx all blast him and he is swallowed up in light. The asteroid disappears, leaving empty space. In the spaceship, Sky cheers.

The Trix realize there’s nothing else for them here, and head off to their next scheme. Before she does, Icy and Bloom look at each other and share a moment of understanding.

Ok, I think that was a dumb wish. The Winx protect the magic dimension already! If you get a wish, you should save it for something you can’t accomplish with the powers you already have! Maybe they couldn’t have defeated Valtor without lighting up, but they defeated him last time without star power. I would’ve liked it better if the Winx had been zapping and then the Trix had to join in to defeat Valtor, or some other use of having three sides in this fight.

I’m also so sure that Bloom would have used the wish to save Dyamond if she’d heard the story about Icy’s sister. Bloom’s a softie anyway, and she literally suffered the same thing herself. They could’ve used the wish without powering Icy up further… sigh. it’s such a weird skipping of such an obvious plot.

The Wishing star flies off, and we see her pass the star ship Purripla. The nautical lumens are happy. The star visits the cave lumens, unilumens, surf lumens, and then we see Twinkle fly into the throne room on Lumenia. ‘The Winx have won, my queen! The Wishing Star is back!” Time for a party on Lumenia, but Twinkle is more interested in the one at Alfea.

Where they’re having a concert, of course. This song’s a bit livelier than some. The minor fairies, the boys, teachers and Knut, a couple of lumens, and Twinkle and Lumilla are there. They are my OTP! I scan the crowd for Orion, but he doesn’t seem to have made it.

In the sky the Wishing Star zooms past, drawing a W between six stars. It’s the Winx constellation!

And that’s season 8!

But you’re not getting out of here without more ponderings!

It occurs to me that the Winx know—or at least Bloom thinks she knows—that Icy is capable of love, but they know nothing about what the white fox really is. In the real world where things don’t end after 26 episodes the next thing Bloom would want to do is go back to Dyamond and figure everything out. Making Icy stop being a threat to the magic dimension would be a huge win. Although… Icy has spent ten-ish years doing really awful things, she’s not a good person. She’s a terrible person who loves her sister, and if Sapphire regained human form Icy would be… still a terrible person, just one with a human sister. it’s hard to imagine Icy just returning to being princess of Dyamond and doing a good job. Or even enjoying it.

I do wonder if we’ll see Sapphire again. I guessed this is setup for movie 4, it could also be setup for season 9 or it could just disappear like the fairy animals from season 7 just disappeared.

Some thoughts:

The art bugged me less than I thought it would, I honestly stopped noticing after a few episodes. Even the boys… still looked weird, but my brain didn’t remind me loudly just how weird they look.

Musa/Riven, why must you be so bad as to force me to take a side in a fandom I don’t want to take sides in? -_-

Liked seeing Knut and the Alfea teachers again, and I’m glad they took the time to bring the minor fairies along to the new art style. Of course it was all made very confusing since some parts of the world seem to have gone back in time and others don’t. Mielle looked much younger but was described as being still a teenager.

All in all, I liked this season! I will have at least one more post of afterthoughts, and maybe a deep-dive into Icy’s past. The official Winx youtube channel has a video about it that I haven’t watched since I didn’t want to spoil myself. We’ll see. Depending on just how unemployed I turn out to be and how hard I’m working on my fanfics, I may have plenty of time to write about Winx!

#winx season 8 #winx club

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