#weirdo dick

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

[oifaaa]

Hello, do you happen to have any more Baby Damian au???

Your art is wonderful

Damn it's been a while since anyone's brought up my baby damian au

[graham-cracker-guillotine]

listen i mathed my way thru this:

tim b/c he's a wacko, duke to "recharge his powers" (ie also a wacko)

babs and alfred are the only normal ones in the family

bruce has too many children he can sleep thru storms. steph is probably passed out somewhere in the manor (cass' room)

jay, my favorite, has to be a lil traumatized from *gestures at entire life* but especially when he dUG HIMSELF UP FROM HIS GRAVE IN A STORM so yeah

dick is comforting a begrudging jason b/c of said storm

tim is stuck outside after trying to get himself struck by lightning. cass is not stuck!! she is simply enjoying the storm outside with a raincoat and an umbrella

when tim finally gets back inside he learns the wifi is gone and promptly goes back outside to try and get struck by lightning. damian is mad bc his video call with jon got cut off

thank u im here all day

[anyataylorjoys]

EXCISION (2012) dir. Richard Bates Jr.

[talxns]

y’know something that goes hand in hand with the coldification of bruce in regards to his relationship with young dick is this idea that alfred is the one to always intercede and basically shame bruce into doing something nice for the boy. it makes it so that if alfred wasn’t there to reprimand him for being cold, bruce wouldn’t show dick any warmth. and i don’t like that. i think that it’s important that bruce, while not super communicative and someone who is notoriously difficult to get along with, treats young dick with an appropriate amount of warmth and understanding and kindness. he doesn’t have to be scolded by alfred into making dick happy, he should be wanting to make dick happy irrespective of anything else.

the only exception is when bruce is doing something he thinks is good for dick and needs some perspective from an outside party (usually alfred) who is able to see things more objectively.

idk, it just seems like so often bruce is written like taking dick in is kind of a burden, and then alfred has to nag him about taking care of dick, when originally these two characters did not need any outside persuasion to be attached at the hip, sleeping in the same room, cooking for each other, spending every waking moment together, etc.

[junespriince]

Little Chickadee meet little Sparkle au

8yo Dick, picks up 3yo Wally: so this baby kid flash?

Barry: yeah, this is apparently him at three years old according to Iris.

Dick, looks at the tiny boy in his arms: and his dad hated him!? Adults are useless.

Bruce, sighed: can't wait for Constantine and zatanna to fix this... Alfred where's the leash? *Leaves*

Dick, gives Barry, Wally back: I will make sure nobody hurts him again.

Barry: aw, that's so sweet of you.

A few hours later

Bruce: I told you to watch him, how could you let him get away!?

Barry: he said he went to the bathroom, how was i supposed to know he would leave, the time I knew him he listened in Central!

Wally, fussy because people are yelling:

Bruce: where could he have gone to, all his usual hits are protected.

Barry: ... Oh my god, OH MY GOD HE'S AFTER RUDY!

Bruce: Rudy?

Barry, grabbing his things: Wally's shitty bio dad, he read Canary's file on Wally and asked me questions.

Bruce: AND YOU GAVE THEM TO HIM, FREELY!?

Barry: I'm sorry I forgot he was blood thirsty as a child, okay!

Jason, holding a now crying Wally: hush it dipshits, and he's like eight how far on foot could he have gone.

Tim: he knows about the zeta tubes.

Jason: oooo, yeah that mother fucker dead dead.

Cass: I also saw him grabbed Barry's phone and called up Iris.

Barry: SHIT MY WIFE GONNA GO TO PRISON! I GOTTA GO!

[choccy-milky]

OK SO I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY OTHER READERS REALIZED THIS BUT I HAVE TO SHARE IT…

LEIGHTON LAWLEY IS CANONICALLY INFERTILE

so y’all remember how sebastian stepped on and twisted that rat’s dick? and do y’all also remember how lasagna’s from a pure blood family? well, by the year 1930, there were only 28 pure blood wizarding families left (the sacred 28), and the lawley name ain’t one of them! lunchbox never had children. if he had ANY children at all, regardless of gender (at least i think so? but anyways purebloods were basically guaranteed to have at least one male child bc of the family pressure so my theory still stands), the lawley name would have made it onto the sacred 28 list. this also confirms that locomotive died before the year 1930! maybe ratticate did some more whack shit and seb murdered him?🥰🥰🥰

LAWLEY IS INFERTILE ALL THANKS TO SEBASTIAN! what a fucking king 👑 seb did the world a service, forever ridding lamppost’s blood from the gene pool. everyone say thank you sebastian 😊😊😊

thank you all for coming to my ted talk

THANK YOU THIS IS CANON NOW RIP TO THE LAWLEY BLOODLINE 🪦🪦🪦🥰🙏

[idkmynameiskat]

The Trump era of politics has really brought out the stupid in so many people I thought were just normal, cool people 🥴

[littlefankingdom]

The Fandom: Try to force traditional family roles and the nuclear family's format on the found family that is the Batfam. Cannot accept Barbara and Steph as Batfam's members because "they're not Bruce's daughters!". Cannot accept that characters that aren't Bruce's children wear bat symbols (pls have you ever consume any Batman media??? The bat is a symbol, it's not about Bruce!!!) See Damian and Dick having a deep relationship and it must be a father/son relationship!

The source material: Bruce LITERALLY telling Damian that the bats living in the Batcave (and Gotham as a whole?!) aren't his pets, they are his family. His nuclear family got killed in an alley, wild animals are family too now.

[vicontheinternet]

I like dickory more than i like dickbabs but as soon as you make either a bitch or an obstacle just to get the other together I’m leaving the fanfic immediately no matter how good the fic is. It could have all the tropes and tags and be completed but as soon as I see that I get immediately pissed off cuz I’d rather a 3rd act break up or miscommunication trope then turning an canon love interest into a jealous bitch for romantic drama that is so misogynistic and insulting to me

[brionysea]

obsessed with dick and cass not getting along because they're the best suited to be the next batman if they have to, except only dick has to, because cass wants to

[saranilssonbooks]

I imagine Ishmael to be that person who sits in contented silence whilst the group of people around him chatter on, then suddenly opens his mouth and says something so weird the entire conversation dies, only to fall back into contented silence. I'm sure he did have a noteworthy reason to brag about his dried translucent skin substance collection though.

[pfctipper]

While picking up supplies in Bastogne, I picked up some burlap bags and started wrapping my boots in them. I found that if you poured some water on them and had it freeze, it actually worked as insulation and kept your feet warmer. I got a lot of heckling for my system, but by now I preferred warmth to pride and, while some believed otherwise, remained convinced this was the way to go. Speirs thought my getup was the funniest thing since Abbott and Costello; he had Forrest Guth, a guy with a camera, take a picture of me. Winters just thought I was nuts.

Don Malarkey, Easy Company Soldier: The Legendary Battles of a Sergeant from World War II's Band of Brothers (2008)

[valengory1234]

While I love the storyline where Alfred was there from day one and helped raise Bruce, I think the original where he’s just some guy who shows up one day and Bruce and Dick just have to cope is extremely funny

[ardentpoop]

remember when rava and kendall were talking abt da family and rava was like "jesus christ your family dude" and kendall immediately got hard

[erwinsvow]

how would kelce, top and rafe react when they find out kook trio reader lost her virginity with a pogue?

oooo i can imagine so vividly if this happened before rafe n ktr got together, he prolly storms to the cut and beats the shit out of jj just assuming that's who it was.. meanwhile it was pope this whole time. dumbass. jj also knows it was pope but doesnt say shit bc he fights back n thinks its funny