#what's the point if you're going to erase their relationship and make it not a huge impact in solas

[malefilus]

I’m really sad about it but I really am not looking forward to the next Dragon Age game. All of the press and statements that have been released just feel like it’s gonna be a let down in one way or another. I understand that the company and devs want to draw in a wider audience and get more people interested in the series, but the statement of ‘you won’t need to play the first games to play this one’ really concerns me. As well as them saying the Inquisitor won’t be a huge factor nor will your (possible) romance with Solas? A huge part of why I personally was looking forward to this game was that tie in. That ending of will it be a bitter end truly or will there be a chance for some sort of happiness? I felt before the announcements a bigger sense of need to not mess up my choices. Now I just feel like it’s going to be a horrid let down and something that ties in poorly with not so great character development. I’m hoping I’m wrong but man, it really is looking like this isn’t going to be a game for the older fans.

[teaboot]

While I'm happy that the word "gaslighting" is more known than it used to be, and that people at large are learning to recognize what it looks like, I feel like we need to be careful not to turn it into something soft and casual we throw around off the cuff without meaning.

Being gaslit is psychological abuse that fucks you up very badly, very slowly, at such a gradual pace that you don't usually know it's happening until it's already re-wired your brain.

If you're unfamiliar with the term, "to gaslight" is to intentionally persuade someone that they cannot trust their own perceptions of reality. It's a destabilizing form of manipulation that leaves you constantly anxious, off-balanced, confused, and dependant on others.

This is done by lying about events that have happened or about things that are happening, invalidating feelings and observations, and either denying, refusing to acknowledge, or deflecting away from hard facts.

As someone who has experienced gaslighting as a form of abuse, this is what I remember from when I didn't know anything was off:

"Oh, I must have forgotten what really happened."

"I'm just not seeing it from their point of view."

"Everyone has their ups and downs. This is normal."

"I guess I wasn't thinking about what I was doing."

"I must have been wrong."

This is what I remember from when I first started realizing something was weird:

"How come every time I'm convinced they did something wrong, they just talk to me a few minutes, and I end up asking for their forgiveness? What has me so convinced I was right in the first moment?"

"I should start writing things down when they happen, so I can go back and check later when I'm confused."

"If every relationship like ours (familial, romantic, platonic) works this way, how come I never hear about it, or read about it, or see it anywhere else?"

Getting out and adjusting to the real world is hard, too, and comes with rapid swings of unfounded guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, and self-deprication that are completely unfounded in reality.

You've been conditioned to believe that you are entirely helpless and unable to think for yourself, possibly "crazy" or otherwise fundamentally impaired, and that there is a singular source of guidance that knows exactly what is right, and all of a sudden that pillar of support has vanished.

The immediate "after" that I recall looks like:

Constant uncertainty. Because nobody is there to tell you what's real and what isn't, you approach every situation thinking at it from all angles. Every question has fifty possible answers and most of them are wrong and you don't know which. If you choose wrong, the world will end.

A sense of helplessness. You feel that nothing you do is correct, and it's easier to make no choices at all- or you make wild, reckless, impulsive choices, because you feel you have nothing to lose.

Memory loss. I don't understand this one, but it's not like memoriescare being erased, but more like... you're so used to treating your memories as dreams or imaginations that you reflexively dismiss anything you recall as fake, and you can't believe anything you recall because you don't think it was real. Your abusers voice is in your head, wiping things away and telling you that you did the wrong thing. And you believe them, because they're the only constant you can rely on.

Missing the abuser, or the abusive dynamic. Because you know now that it wasn't healthy, but at least you knew where you stood. As long as you said the right things and acted the right way, agreed and obeyed and did as they expected, you felt like thevworld made sense. Now you have to figure out which parts of you really are broken, and which parts are working fine in a really weird way, and it's like tuning a piano when you've never played one before.

The long term "after"- for which I can only speak for myself- looks like:

Having to double-check, triple-check, and continue checking hard evidence of an event before responding in an active way.

Consulting with trusted friends to verify that your observations are legitimate and that your perceptions are valid. Following up with them to see if someone is really angry at you, or if you're just projecting anger onto them because it's what makes sense to your old pattern.

Obsessive collection of "evidence"- saving pictures, writing detailed journals, making recordings and video, never deleting emails or old texts, because you still don't quite trust yourself all the way and you're afraid that someone will cause you to doubt yourself again.

Continued self-doubt and being "gullible": I have straight up seen people flip me off to my face in front of witnesses and then immediately tell me, "No, I was just waving", and my first instinct is to believe them. For a few seconds, I *really do* believe them. Your brain is so trained to latch onto what people tell you to believe that its really, really hard to hold onto information that you already have.

Learning to take ownership over your own actions. (I didn't mess up because I'm "crazy", I messed up because I'm a person and people do that.)

Instinctively seeking approval. (Takes a lot of work to remind myself that I don't exit to make people happy, and that some people suck ass, and I can tell them to piss off.)

I don't intend to invalidate anyone currently struggling with this- if you feel that something is wrong, it probably is. That's the thought that got me out. Trust that feeling that something isn't right.

I just want people who don't know what to look for to know what gaslighting *actually* looks and feels like, so they don't just roll their eyes and think, "Oh, that word doesnt apply to me- I'm not some snowflake".

('Cause we all saw what happened with "triggered", right?)

[ethereal-blossom]

Giving BSD boys a blowjob for the first time

ft. dazai, kunikida

warnings: blowjobs (surprise!) MDNI

a/n: kinda wrote these in mind thinking it was also giving them a handjob for the first time so I guess that's double the fun!

Dazai Osamu ♡

Your eyes looked up to find Dazai's face, searching for a sign of approval. In response, Dazai let out a validating, soft moan and closed his eyes as he nodded. "You're doing excellent, belladonna."

It wasn't unexpected. Dazai, sharp and observant as a hawk, had seen the way your eyes lingered over every small change in his facial expressions. While you were dating, both of you had agreed to take things slow. Even small milestones like holding hands was a huge thing for the man that was wrapped in bandages. The slow burn of deepening your relationship into each other's hearts until it left a permanent mark that even time couldn't erase, was wonderful.

But with time grows desire. Dazai teased you to the point of dilated pupils, hitching breaths, and a blush that cups your cheeks. Exactly like planned, the detective thought, smirking behind the mask of crafted innocence. Except, the plan had been for you to beg him to touch you; not that you would beg to make him feel good as your fingers pushed his hips onto the couch. Dazai is highly aware of his intelligence that makes him read people as if they are a children's book, but sometimes, he thinks he doesn't always grab your nature. The type of nature that has you on your knees in front of him, getting high off of his pleasure.

When you wanted to focus your attention back on the twitching cock in your hand, the sight of Dazai's fingers grabbed your attention. You knew Dazai better than any living soul. Although still a mystery novel that hides behind words of deceive and avoidance to keep parts of itself hidden until the time of reveal is there, this mystery novel was slowly showing you its pages that brought you closer to the truth.

One of the mysteries revealed was Dazai's massive self-control over his external reactions. Emotions were another vulnerable aspect of what it meant to be human, and Dazai hid them masterfully. A part of that was because it functioned as a tactic to reach his goals and stay in control, but a part of you wondered if it was because Dazai feared vulnerability more than a bullet. Emotional suffering is torture for the ones with a sensitive heart.

While Dazai's face was decorated in controlled bliss and his moans playing like a soft lullaby, the slender fingers around the sheets were clinging for dear life. You see... could you make another crack in that composed facade?

Your thumb starts drawing circles over Dazai's tip and with that, you witnessed the twitching of both his cock and fingers. A soft groan escaped Dazai's clenched jaw. "Ah, that's my belladonna. You're soo good to me, hm? Working hard for that reward." That controlled tone...

... It wasn't enough.

Dazai could tell something changed. Even though he had his eyes closed in concentration, clinging to the tiny bit of control he had, he noticed how your stroking became irregular. "What's filling your mind that isn't my- argh, shit." Dazai's eyes shot open as he bolted his hips deeper into your mouth, leaving you gagged for a good second.

That face of pure shock and arousal, the one you rarely got to see on your lover, revealed itself to you as you had taken Dazai's tip into your mouth. "Y/N, that's-"

Another lick and Dazai's original sentence was replaced by a moan, and the detective felt like all control slipped between his fingers when you placed your hands around the rest of his cock.

Dazai grabbed your hair, hissing you to go slower because oh God, he was about to cum faster than he ever did in his twenty-two years of living, and God knows he did not want this euphoria to end this soon. Oh, he really wasn't used to feeling this good-

"Belladonna, y/n, please-" Dazai didn't know what he was begging you for. For you to go slower? Faster? What it was, you hummed in approval. That little vibration was all it needed for Dazai to throw his head in his neck. His toes curled as high-pitched whines fell over lips that had become swollen in a miserable attempt to hide his moans.

When you looked up after swallowing, you were met with Dazai's bangs hanging over his eyes. "Osamu, are you okay?" Worried, you push the chocolate colored bangs aside and... oh.

He was so pretty with scarlet painted cheeks. Dazai couldn't even look you in the eyes, giving up after one second of eye-contact before shyly facing another side with his head. "That was... good. For a first attempt."

You chuckled as your hand caresses the cheek that faced your way and with a slightly hoarse voice you respond: "Good. I'll make you even feel better next time."

Dazai's hands twitch one last time before he closes his eyes and mentally picks up every string that he lost along the way. As the detective opens his eyes, you can see the control and seduction in those dark eyes that you love so much.

Dazai leans closer until you feel his breath on your ear. His lips tickle and a shiver runs down your spine as he whispers: "Someone has earned that reward, hasn't she? Let's see how long I can make you last."

Kunikida Doppo ♡

Rubies could not compete with the radiant red glow of Kunikida's face as he realized what you were about to do. The detective should have known you were up to something when he was preparing today's schedule and you had popped up behind him, placing your arms around his waist as you kissed his neck and whispered: "Keep a spot open at 8 PM, love."

Even when the blond had asked for details, your lips stayed sealed. The only hint Kunikida got out of you was "Dazai has made you work over-hours; I want to treat you."

Naively, innocently, Kunikida thought you might have a dinner or massage in mind. Not that he was wrong! It was just a... different type of massage. With your tender fingers wrapped around his cock, Kunikida clenched his jaw to not make a sound, but the moan slipped away as he sighed your name: "Y/n... I, we-"

"Does it feel good, Doppo?" You made sure to rub his tip with your thumb right then, making the detective's cock drop with pre-cum.

"It- yes... yes, it feels good."

Looking up blessed you with the sight of an orderly man turned into a mess under the tip of your fingers. A wave of arousal rushed through your body, seeing the man unravel in front of you. You figured he would be vocal, but oh-

Kunikida was sensitive. The smallest movement had him throwing his head back and trusting his hip as tiny moans calling your name filled the room. Not only were his cheeks the color of fire due to the heat of your touch, but the intimacy of it all left him flustered as well.

You felt a hand rest on your head, lightly gripping a bit of hair. "Y/n... we, you- I have to make you feel good, too."

Oh. "That has to wait."

"But- ah!" The hand around your hair tightened in response to your mouth taking his cock.

Kunikida's thoughts were twirled up in the storm that was you. Your name rolled off his tongue like worshipping prayers as you brought Heaven to earth for him.

The bliss of touching Heaven became too much, and with one closing word, Kunikida fell apart. He arched his back, forgetting to bite his lip to soften the groans that might slip through the walls where his colleagues live. His grip around you tightens, never wanting to let you go, never wanting to let this feeling go. But then Kunikida realizes he's still on earth and lessens his grip on the fear he's hurting you.

The detective looked into your eyes, but they were filled with lust directed at him and God, it felt so sinful that he had to deflect his gaze. Yet, you grabbed his chin and made your boyfriend face you.

"Do you feel better?"

Kunikida stammered, trying to get out a word. "Yes, that was," an embarrassed cough, "excellent." 

Your thumb caressed his lip. "Good."

And then, the world flipped around as Kunikida lay your back on the bed. "I have done a deep-dive research on how to please you when the time was there. Now, let me return the favor." 

[wheeboo]

hand in hand | lee jihoon

SYNOPSIS. in which you take your boyfriend to a work outing. PAIRING. lee jihoon x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship, a lil comfort WARNINGS. mention of alcohol and reader being a lil tipsy, just jihoon's love language secretly being physical touch w the right person, some self-doubt n insecurity on his side :(( WORD COUNT. 1.5k

requested by anon: woozi + #43 list 1 - #43: "I love your laugh."

notes: i promised myself i would try to write n post a fic for the event every 2 days but i'm def not sticking to that .. anyway i hope u all enjoy this 😔🫶 not entirely proud of how this was written dijdissnnd

join the 2k celebration!

Jihoon doesn't know why he's here, knowing that he doesn't share any hint of knowledge about finance and corporate interests. All of it makes him feel like he's a fish out of water.

The food is good, though. He won't lie about that. But the air reeks of alcohol and burnt meat at this point, and Jihoon is genuinely surprised no one has passed out drunk yet. He can feel the tiredness seeping into his eyelids as he peers around tensely, knowing that he definitely only exchanged a singular hi, nice to meet you with everyone before sitting down.

He checks his watch for the time, and also mindlessly checks the time on his phone too as if it was going to miraculously display a different hour. But it doesn't. It's still 10:34 PM, and Jihoon contemplates how much longer he must endure this social ordeal as he'd rather be in the comfort of his place...

...with you.

Jihoon barely processes the way his face lights up when his eyes land back on you emerging from the restroom. He's already picking up his body from how slouched he was sitting down moments ago. A small smile stretches across his face, momentarily erasing the look of social exhaustion.

His eyes follow you until you sit yourself down in the seat next to him, a cute, eager grin plastered across your face. Jihoon catches the slightly flushed look to your features from some of the drinking you've done earlier, but it only adds to your charm even more.

Under the table, he feels your hand sliding into his even while you're goofily greeting everyone for the third time tonight, fingers intertwining together as if you've never left. Jihoon's heart does a little jump at the touch, glancing around the table to see if anyone has noticed. But everyone seems too engrossed in their own conversations to pay much attention.

Jihoon knows that you're popular at work, and it's hard not to see why. The entire restaurant glows at the sight of you, or perhaps that's only what he sees.

It kind of makes him wonder if it was really necessary to let you drag him along. He hasn't contributed much to the entire outing except for being able to fill an empty chair. And yet, you were very excited to invite him as your plus one when everyone else only brought themselves.

But then again, he doesn't seem to mind that much𑁋he gets to hold your hand, gets to steal endless glances at your face and watch you enjoy yourself, knowing that at the end of the night you'll be coming home with him, and that's enough to make this evening bearable.

There's a squeeze to his hand, and Jihoon glances down before flickering back up to your face. You're peering at him with sleepy eyes, a lopsided smile, a small bit of dried sauce at the corners of your lips. Yet, there's some worry in there etched between the lines. He knows it's directed towards him.

He squeezes back your hand reassuringly, and before you can say anything, one of your coworkers taps on your shoulder to redirect your attention. Jihoon hardly catches what they say, but the laugh you let out a minute later is music to his ears. It's a hearty, genuine laugh that fills the air around the restaurant; it's the only sound he could discern among everyone else's' laugh.

However, his chest tightens ever so slightly, and his smile falters a little. His grip on your hand tightens subconsciously.

"And didn't Y/N have to hide under Seokmin's desk? Just because they were eating when it wasn't their break?"

"But I ended up getting in trouble anyways!" Your hand lets go of Jihoon's briefly to swat playfully at your coworker, then it isn't long until your hands lock together again. He really likes it when you do that. "And it's all because Seokmin couldn't keep his mouth shut!"

Jihoon doesn't know how much longer the conversation lasts because he's too busy playing with your hand, tracing aimlessly along the lines of your palm with his thumb. There's a nagging feeling tugging at the seams of his mind that's a bit too hard to brush off. He continues stealing glances at you, catching the way your eyes sparkle as you listen intently to another story from a coworker.

You look happy, genuinely happy, and a part of him wants nothing more than to keep that smile on your face.

When it was finally time for your coworkers to all start leaving one-by-one, Jihoon finds himself lingering near you, practically hovering as you bid your goodbyes and exchange your hugs with everyone. By the time it was the two of you left outside the restaurant, you trail towards your boyfriend laggardly, nearly collapsing on him in the process.

"I'm so tired," You mumble into his shoulder, before pulling away and reaching for his hand. "Think I'm going to pass out when we get home."

Jihoon just chuckles quietly. "But you had a lot of fun, right?"

A dreamy curve makes its way across your lips as you nod.

"Hmm, yeah," You reply lazily, somewhat tipsily. "Lots of fun."

The cool night air brushes against your skin as you walk together, the streets quiet and empty save for the occasional passing car. Jihoon can feel the weight of exhaustion in his bones as well, and the weight of your body leaning on him only adds to it, but he doesn't mind.

Your hands swing back and forth together as you stroll along the sidewalk, the soft glow of streetlights casting gentle shadows around you. Despite the tiredness, a warm contentment settles over Jihoon.

"Are you okay?"

Jihoon turns to you. "What?"

"I asked if you were okay," You repeat, a bit more softer this time. "You were just a bit quiet earlier."

He blinks a few times.

"Ah," is all Jihoon could respond with right now, because he doesn't know exactly how to answer that. He's fine, he knows he is, but there's a bit of unease in each step he takes.

You hang your head low to the ground as if in guilt. "I'm sorry for kind of forcing you to come with me. Just wanted your company, you know?"

Jihoon just shakes his head. "No, it's okay." Then he brings his eyes down too. "Seeing you happy made me happy. It was worth it."

You smile at that, just barely, though you swear there's still something else he isn't telling you. But you don't press on though, choosing to let some quietness roll over instead. The heaviness in your head had manage to slither its way to your own footsteps. You really can't wait to finally sleep.

Jihoon's grip on your hand is somewhat loose. Even though on the outside it may appear normal, you've held his hand one too many times to know when something is amiss.

"I don't... bore you, right?"

You stop in your tracks to face him. "Bore me?"

"It's ridiculous, I know," Jihoon says bashfully, immediately regretting asking that. "It's just... You were laughing a lot earlier. It's been a while since I've heard you laugh that much."

Your eyes wander over him, peering at him as if he's said the most strangest thing ever. Then you let out lighthearted scoff, letting yourself step closer to him.

"Hey, look at me," You urge him, tugging slightly on his hand for him to bring his eyes up to you. "Please?"

And so he does, meeting your gaze with a flicker of confusion. You hold his eyes for a few moments before you start to struggle, almost like you’re in a staring contest. Then a blush creeps up your cheeks, blossoming across your face like a freshly bloomed flower. A soft, nervous giggle escapes your lips, starting as a quiet chuckle before growing into a hearty blend of laughter.

For a second, Jihoon is a bit puzzled, before he feels a laugh of his own tumble out of his chest. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're cute."

"And that... makes you laugh?"

"It makes me happy," You answer witfully. "You make me happy. And just because I'm not laughing doesn't mean you're boring me."

Jihoon just gazes at you both dazedly and fondly, and the more he does so, the more it has you giggling even more. It could be from the alcohol earlier and it's a sign that you should really get back home this instant, but he's simply just standing there like a confused toddler, and you're happy.

"And your laugh... Gosh, your laugh," You continue on, and there's an affectionate look in your eyes. "I love your laugh. Please laugh more like that around me or I will go insane, Jihoonie."

A small grin spreads across Jihoon's face. "Then be cute, like you are now."

"Deal," You quip tauntingly, bringing his hand up to your lips to place a small kiss on before the two of you continue strolling down the sidewalk.

The silence takes over for some time, a comfortable silence that isn't heavy or awkward this time, only the tapping of your shoes against the pavement and the occasional rustle of leaves in the cool night breeze filling the space.

"I love your laugh, too."

You pick your head back up, gazing at him with sleepy, half-lidded eyes. "What did you say?"

Jihoon hesitates, before smiling bashfully.

"I said that I love you."

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @totomoshi @armycarat2612

[indecisive-capricorn]

Headcanons to Dating Yandere Tom Riddle:

WARNINGS: MDNI! Yandere, stalking, implied dubcon, mentions of sex, violence, mentions of blood, mentions of breeding, mentions of wife, mentions of marriage, etc.

SUMMARY: A chance to experience what dating Tom Riddle is like, even when it's against your will to do just that.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, this headcanons leans more into dating Yandere Tom Riddle but technically, even without the yandere and dark part, he will do questionably dark things for his partner. I'm planning to make other headcanons that goes into details about that specific situation. For example, a "Headcanons to Dark Tom Riddle x Pregnant Wife Reader"

MASTERLIST: Feel free to check out my other works! :)

It doesn't matter where you come from, alright? Although it's important for Tom to have an excellent muggle free reputation, Tom has his ways to make sure any history you have with muggles are erased. No one knows your precise history because of it either, but according to their Dark Lord, you were a witch from a fine family in France. While that might have been true, what they didn't know was how you were actually a rebel and fought against him for a time until he kidnapped you.

You left him with no choice! He was infatuated with you due to your strength and infamous beauty. Tom kept on sending you gifts, invitations to balls even and attempted to bait you to become Dumbledore's spy in order to get closer to you. However, you rejected all his gifts and invitations, burning them into the fireplace as soon as they arrived.

You were intelligent enough to know about his plan, but as evil and cruel as Tom was, he was also a genius.

When Tom kidnapped you, you had screamed all the curses in the world at him, refusing for him to even touch you. However, it silenced down when you saw several death eaters pointing their wands to the necks of your little sister and other family members.

You were a rebel and if Tom tried to take you with the threat of hurting your family, he knew you would continue to reject him. After all, actions speak louder than words, and as the death eaters began to torture your family, you finally got on your knees and pleaded for him to stop. Tom was more than pleased with your actions, but to ensure that you will stay true to your promise, he demanded a kiss from you, which you reluctantly gave in the form of a peck on the lips.

Though Tom had spared your family, he will make sure you never see them again. One way or another, no matter how many times you plead and beg to see them, he will rip you away from your family for the sole reason so that your focus would not waver from him. Yeah, he's that possessive of you.

Speaking of being possessive, Tom from the beginning of the relationship will always make sure you are covered in the finest silk and most rarest yet stunning jewellery. You might try to refuse them at first, but you don't quite get it. All of the fine dresses, luxurious clothes and expensive jewellery that he had picked out for you was also his way to tell others that you're his, that you're his possession. Try to refuse it and he will punish you.

There are various of punishments Tom can give you. It depends on what you have done that made him measure how severe the punishment should go, but it also depended on his mood. If Tom was only lightly jealous, he'll most likely just leave marks on you like hickeys and bruises. However, if Tom was severely jealous.. then prepare yourself. Tom had once fucked you in front of two of your old friends whom he had taken as prisoner as a way to humiliate you after you had tried to communicate with them in their cells. Just don't defy him, okay? It won't end up good for you.

Other than that though, Tom will take care of you. He feeds you well, pampers you and even shower you with affection from time to time, which you always try to refuse. Tom tries to spend some time with you whenever he has the time, even with the ongoing war. Tom doesn't usually allow you to be out of the manor, but with his company, he allows you to wander around the garden and as much as you hate his company, a bit of fresh air will certainly do you good after being stuck inside for a long time.

However, with all that, he expects you to do your duties as well. You both might not be married yet, but Tom already views you as his wife, the only thing lacking is a wedding ring between your fingers and a ceremony. It will happen sooner than later. But due to it, you became the lady of the manor is your job to make sure that everything was going well in your 'home', telling the servants on what they must do to keep the cleanliness of the house.

And oh, on that note, you're not able to ask for them to help you escape. You learnt that the hard way because the day after you had tried to ask them, all of their tongues had disappeared, unable to speak properly anymore.

Tom desires to flaunt you to the public after making your relationship with him 'official'. However, he will only start bringing you to balls after he was sure that you will behave and Tom might just make a potion to help with that. He considers it as one of the duties you have to perform as his partner. But oh my, you do look ravishing in that tight dress he picked out for you.

At times during the night, you found Tom rubbing your stomach, eyes full of desire, as he thought fondly of children. He had been unsure of starting a family before. Of course Tom needed an heir, but he didn't think he would ever find himself wanting more children until he met you. It didn't matter if you didn't want children. Sooner or later, before or after marriage, you will be swollen with his child. And what better way to ensure an heir than start now?

[fangsandfeels]

I've seen the "Non-ascended Astarion ending is bad for him because you have to persuade him to reject the ritual" opinion...

..implying that he never really wanted not to ascend, it's you the player who selfishly forces him to give up on his goal. To prove their point, they state that you can get a good ending out of all other companion's quests without using Persuasion at all, except for Astarion.

And boy did I want to talk about this...

(In fact, everything I wanted to say has already been told in this amazing meta post, but I still gotta ramble)

First of all, Astarion was going through an intense PTSD. The game gave him a debuff to show how badly going back to the place of his torment was affecting him. Larian couldn't make it more obvious that he wasn't thinking clearly.

Second, there is one thing all abusers have in common: they destroy their victim's feelings of self-worth to the point, the victim no longer wants or knows how to ask for help or have relationships outside their abusive circle.

Who would want you like this? Look at yourself, you think you're better than me? You're nothing. Who would want to waste their time on you? You think somebody else would treat you better?

Since entering the Cazador's palace, Astarion is reliving his worst moments. Initially, he takes it in stride, hiding his discomfort underneath performative and emotional expressiveness. He talks about how he spent time in the bedrooms where he never did any sleeping, about the kennels where he was tortured, about the barracks where he was sent to when he "deserved neither carrot nor stick". Bad memories, but he shares them with Tav because he trusts them with his scars already. They might as well know the rest.

But after descending into the dungeon, Astarion starts spiraling into self-loathing at a break-neck speed. He used to think that all Cazador victims he ever brought to him were long gone, drained, and discarded. A horrible, undeserved death, yet the thought of them not having to suffer for too long was a small consolation, one of the threads holding his sanity together.

But then it turns out that they weren't dead. They were turned. Locked away deep underground, alone with their new selves, with the hunger and isolation. They did suffer. All these years, they suffered, buried in this tomb - because of him. Cazador may have turned them, but it was Astarion who brought them to him. And they remembered it. They recognized him. The monster who stole them from their home. The monster who ruined their life. Monster. Just like Cazador.

So, as if his PTSD wasn't enough, this revelation was another blow to his grip on himself, his perception of himself. His confident facade was shattering - and in his head, he was starting to think that Tav's idea of him, of who he is, was shattering as well. He tried to warn them before. He said he couldn't be what they saw in him. Whatever person they believed him to be had never existed - and Tav was finally coming to realize that as they walked through the gallery of his sins, looking his victims in the eyes and hearing out what they had to say. Of course, Tav hated him now. They had to. How could they not?

So, at the end, he is scared. Terrified. He bit off more than he could chew by walking into the manor and thinking he had only six fellow spawns to deal with. He saw their lives as a small price to pay because Cazador made sure to erase any solidarity between them. He made them torture each other and compete with each other. He twisted the very meaning of family bonds to his perverted liking, and he knew that by doing so, he would make sure every single one of them would get a whiplash from anyone trying to mention family in a positive connotation. Astarion takes no issue with getting rid of his "brothers" and "sisters" because he is fully aware that had the roles been reversed, they would have sacrificed him without a second thought. And he was certain that Tav would change their mind once they learned more about his brethren.

But the spawns in the dungeon...All the faces he remembered. All the lovers he lured. They did nothing wrong. They never hurt him. They never tortured him. Their only mistake was to trust him.

The revelation horrifies him. His first response is to be shocked, overwhelmed with emotion - and then he has to remind himself that sacrifices must be made. He feigns indifference. He tries to cover his internal conflict with gallows humor. But his flippant mask keeps slipping as he lapses from indifference to anger, to guilt, to begging Tav not to hate him as his greatest crimes glare back at him and claw at him, shouting out threats and seething with hatred.

He can't bear the thought of dealing with all the people whose lives he helped to destroy. He can't do anything for them. Just killing Cazador won't undo what he did to them. He will never be anything but a monster in their eyes. And this is what he deserves to be. He will always be reminded of what he is.

He has no choice but to do the Ritual.

He has no idea what will happen to him after he is done - he isn't a planner. He has never been. But at this point, he doesn't see his soul as something worthy of preserving - and by association, he extends that to other spawns. He knows it all too well because he remembers how it felt. He dissociates, projecting everything he hated about himself onto Cazador's victims, trying to rationalize why he should live and why they must die while he actively avoids the truth.

Completing the ritual is no longer about being free. Or protecting himself and his lover. It's about running away. Even when Astarion has Cazador at his mercy, he still thinks of running away. Getting lost forever. So nobody could ever hurt him.

A part of him even realizes that it means running away from Tav too. But Tav can leave, he naively thinks, not knowing the full consequences of the ritual. Tav will leave to find someone else, someone better, and he will start everything anew, a king of his castle.

So, of course, Tav has to reach out to him through that thick haze of fear, anger, and self-hatred. Persuasion isn't about strongarming someone into doing what you want. It's not subjugation or emotional blackmail. It's reasoning with someone. And that is exactly what Tav does - reasons with Astarion after watching him mentally struggle, after seeing his genuine shock and fear, after understanding that he isn't fully on board with the idea.

It's true, vampire spawns tend to gravitate toward power, especially if nothing is pulling them back. A vampire spawn is a feared and scorned creature - it no longer matters whether they were an unwilling victim, forcefully taken and turned. They are seen not as an individual but as the extension of their master - and the only natural transition for them is to get on the top of the food chain. The only way to make a name and become treated as something more.

Astarion saw power as the mean to safety and freedom, first and foremost. Ironically, he never planned beyond securing these two priorities. He never saw himself after accomplishing his goals, and it's kinda amazing how people can make conclusions about his hedonism because he misses petty vanities, wants to drink blood from a goblet, and sleep on silken sheets. The man who was held and tortured in the kennels, fed rats, and had to stitch and fix his only set of clothes over and over to keep it presentable, the man who has never felt happy for most of his conscious non-life is called hedonistic for wanting nice things. For still wanting to take care of himself for once.

He wasn't harboring any grand plans, conquests, or schemes. Even his idea of taking control of the Absolute was abstract and shapeless because he didn't care about getting control over the most influential people as much as he was afraid of breaking whatever protected him from Cazador's domination. He never really knew what to do with power aside from keeping Cazador and the likes of him at bay.

The way Astarion behaves in a relationship also speaks tons of how controlling he really is...or how he isn't controlling at all. When his romance with Tav transforms into something real, and he enters a new territory, Astarion is empowered to make decisions and think about what he wants instead of pleasuring others. It's clear that he and Tav don't have sex after they come clear about their feelings. Tav respects his comfort and boundaries, gives him all the time he needs, and lets him take the lead. Whether they will have sex again or not is entirely up to Astarion. Whatever he decides, it won't change Tav's feelings for him. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

Astarion enjoys this new autonomy. He is playful, affectionate, outspoken...and afraid of messing everything up. If Tav mentions breaking up, Astarion thinks he is the problem. If there is another potential love interest showing they have eyes for Tav, Astarion encourages Tav to be with them because he believes they can give Tav everything he can't. When Tav says "I choose you," Astarion is taken aback, needing a moment to hide his genuine confusion at Tav actually wanting to be with him rather than Gale, Karlach, or Halsin.

For all his talks of control and dominating others, once Astarion finds himself with a lover who values his autonomy more than getting power at the cost of his dignity, who makes it safe for him to be honest, and who listens to him, he almost stops mentioning control. He merely lives in the moment, happy not to know, not to pretend, not to manipulate. Just to be.

What Astarion truly craves - not wants on a superficial level, not conditioned to want - is not to be a vampire lord. He wants the freedom to be anything. Anything he wants. Little does he know that true vampires rarely get to be anything they want, even if they gain the ability to walk in the sun -- we see it in his Ascended path as, instead of acting up on his supposed freedom to be anything, Astarion repeats Cazador's rules step by step. Just like Cazador did. Just like Verlioth did. He isn't anything he wants. He is the replica of his former master.

Astarion never had the luxury to explore who he wanted to be outside what Cazador made him. He only makes his first steps once he is free. We see glimpses of that deep-seated aspiration to be seen as a person. Treated like a person. Loved like a person. To be reflected in someone's eyes. He wants to know if there is someone beneath his usual mask, something his, not tainted by Cazador. Someone real. And at the same time, he dreads to know the answer. Because that part of him knows regret. Knows shame. Knows guilt. Confronting it posed the risk of realizing he didn't deserve love, kindness, or a future. What if real him truly doesn't amount to anything? What else for him to do?

So, he tells himself that he has no choice, and he expects Tav to affirm it -- not because he wants them to, but because he believes that Tav has seen enough to make the same conclusion. However, Tav objects, trying to be louder than all the inner demons hissing into his ears. Tav speaks to the Astarion, who asked them what they saw when they looked at him. The Astarion, who thanked them for standing by his side when he said "No" to Araj. The Astarion one who stood frozen in their hug before returning it tentatively. The Astarion who diligently, dedicatedly, caringly kept pulling himself together instead of letting himself unravel completely.

Tav reminds him that this Astarion, right here, right now, is worth fighting for. That he didn't survive all these years of torture, pain, humiliation, and dehumanization to give himself up now. He already has the power to avenge himself, avenge all Cazador's victims. He can end everything right here, right now - and this is the only power to free him. He has the power (and responsibility) of having a choice.

Tav empathizes with other spawns as victims not because they're more "innocent" than Astarion, but because associating with them doesn't brand Astarion as weak or broken. These spawns aren't horrible wretches, and neither is he. They don't deserve this, and neither did he.

The only one who deserves to die today is Cazador - the vampire, the monster, the pathetic piece of shit.

Astarion Ancunin deserves to live.

[gb-patch]

Sorry to send another ask amongst the sea I'm sure you're receiving, but I find myself more concerned about Rose being a sensitivity reader as I find more information. One of Rose's friends continues to insist that the conversation about Tamarack and male MCs was part of a larger discussion about biphobia in the fandom. However, they claim that Rose's position is "people erase Tam's bi/pansexuality by refusing to portray [her] as being attracted to anything other than men." This explanation of Rose's belief is, in-and-of-itself, biphobic. It claims that portraying Tamarack as attracted to men erases her queerness. This is textbook biphobia and bi-erasure that I as a bisexual encounter every day. It is NOT a good-faith defense of a queer character. It reduces us down to our partners and makes the claim that if we end up in a relationship that's "straight-passing," we're erasing our queerness. Especially as a bi sapphic myself, it reduces my identity strictly to the perceived-man I'm dating, and not my inner or previous experiences, or those of my partner. It's very uncomfortable that Rose, a non-bisexual, was discussing this like they're defending Tamarack's queerness when they're doing the opposite.

This is a doubly strange position when Our Life is a game about the acceptance of love in all its forms. The conversation could be different, MAYBE, if Our Life was a TV show or a book or a comic. But this is a game where people are meant to play as characters of their own design. I do not feel confident about Rose being a sensitivity reader for a game with bi/pansexual love interests if these are their beliefs about bi/pansexuality, particularly if they're unable to adapt their opinions to be relevant to different formats of media; this shows they're lacking in skill in the areas of media literacy and critical thinking.

I’ve been trying to make a post that presents the concerns people have about this, but your ask touches on the points I was going to, and I’d say it’s better to have it said by a player than me deciding what people are thinking. So, this is something that I want to make clear- that I see this and other asks/comments about it. What you’ve said is something a lot of people are unsure and upset about. I am sorry that you feel so out of place in this community now. And I am also sorry to players of any sexuality who use a male MC. That comment dismissed players and Tamarack’s identity.

It did come from a longer discussion about bi-phobia issues. The overall feelings were “if people did only want Tamarack to be interested in men, I really wouldn’t like that and wouldn’t it be a funny concept if Tamarack then left them for a woman?”. The comment itself didn’t encompass that idea at all. It does not give a good impression about where they’re coming from. It was unkind.

The viewpoint Rose is trying to have isn’t that “Tamarack can never express an interest in men” which would be wrong, it’s “I stand by the fact that Tamarack is someone who wouldn’t only be interested in men and no one else”. If it’s true that Rose likes Tamarack being interested in all genders and doesn’t want her bi-ness to be forgotten, I’d say that’s an acceptable view. If the point actually is that Tamarack should only be with women and if she’s not than Tamarack is no longer bi or she’s a bad character, then you're right- that isn't acceptable and that is going to get someone removed from the project. I do believe Rose agrees with what you’re saying and means it when they say they want to stop bi-erasure, not participate in it for real. But they had a very harsh way of talking about it.

I understand that people don’t know Rose and this situation has made them believe they do seriously hold that first view. But from working with them, there’s never been any feedback that shows an opinion of the sort.

Right now, I think that comment was being edgy and making a quick, very poorly-worded quip to people they’d been chatting with about that topic already. Rose has left the GB Patch discord servers, they used to be a mod, and may or may not ever be back in there. Rose won’t make blog posts responding to players going forward. They’re going to take a break from this and then try to give helpful feedback. We’re going to see if things can be okay from here.

And with this coming up, we’re all really aware that it’s something to consider about the game. I’m going to be as conscious as I can for any advice that seems to go against the character’s identities and I’m going to question my own knee-jerk choices for how I handle things. Other sensitivity readers will be able to give their viewpoints as well, so will the players. If the game’s content isn’t welcoming or is biased people will notice, and I’ll be here to accept what I’ve done. I don’t want that to be the result of this, of course. I hope the game will be thoughtful and considerate, but I can’t fire Rose at this point to try doing that.

No one has to keep following the game, though. I’m sympathetic to anyone who is too uncomfortable with all this to stay around.

[twomiddlefingersforthehaters]

"My boby moved on its own" is an SNS trope . Sasuke is the type of person who always does something for Naruto and then finds a logical reason to cover that up.

1. His reason for offering his bento to Naruto

2. His reason for looking after Naruto who had been training all night.

3. His reason for to Save Naruto from Haku's attack.

4. His reason for why he wasn't able to kill Naruto in vote1

5. His reason for protecting Naruto from Obito

It gets so intense every time he protects Naruto from Obito. And Naruto notices how Sasuke protecting him from the attacks every time. Even when his Susanoo is already protecting Naruto, his hand is also going there to shield him.

We've never seen Sasuke do anything like this for Sakura, while with Naruto it's pretty consistent throughout the series. And Why do you think Kishi made 5 scenarios like this to point that out? Sasuke wouldn't do this kind of thing for anyone else. Absolutely no one. So what impression does it make?

In this war arc, Sakura herself acknowledged to the fact that Sasuke didn't care about her:

When Sakura ran up to Madara to get stabbed, both Naruto and Kakashi were either terrified or shocked as she plunged on someone she couldn't deal with. And Sasuke's expression was completely different from the others, he was just focused on the opening to attack madara. Where are Sasuke's instincts when it comes to Sakura? And the one who saved her was Naruto. Look at her dejected face! Even she herself accepting the fact that Sasuke doesn't even worry or care about her. Also, Sasuke put Sakura and Kakashi in their place by calling them "useless" directly to their faces while they were being protected under his Susanoo.

You know, Naruto is the one who asks Kakashi and Sakura to stay closer to him...without knowing what's going on up there. And, Sasuke was talking specifically to Naruto to not move around when he comes down to Naruto and he didn't mention the other two. He only wanted to save Naruto with his Sasunoo from the infinite tsukuyomi, but Sakura and kakashi just happened to be near with Naruto.

And Sasuke himself openly said Kakashi and Sakura just happened to be next to Naruto and that's all! Once again Sakura looked so dejected and realizes it even more in this scene. It's very clear that Sasuke didn't care about kakashi & Sakura. When Sasuke summons a hawk , and Naruto points to the right and says, "Sasuke!! Over there!!" to help Kakashi and Sakura, but Sasuke only saves Naruto

We know that Naruto cares about others and Sasuke knows this very well. And Sasuke is the character who will PROTECT those he cares about in dire situations. And who has he been saving repeatedly? NARUTO. But what Sasuke says and his actions are an underscoring for Naruto to prioritize his own safety and life in the war. Sasuke has a valid point that everything would be over if he and Naruto were to die, but it doesn't erase the fact that he doesn't care about Sakura and Kakashi and almost let them die because he was busy saving Naruto, a person who wasn't even in danger to begin with.

Simply put, he would protect Naruto, no matter what. And all Sasuke's actions are completely and purely instinctive and derived from his sub-consciousness.

To which Naruto said,

Raw: お前の言ってることも分かってるつもりだ... けど... こういう時は体が勝手に動いちまうもんだ ろ... 橋での時────

Romaji: omae no itteru koto mo wakatteru tsumori da ... kedo... kōiu toki wa karada ga katte ni ugoichimau mondaro ...kyōde no tokiーーー

Literal: I think I understand what you're saying. But...in this situation, a body moves on its own (unconciously)... Just like that time on the bridgeーーー

What he meant: " just like your body moved on its own to save me on the bridge.... my body also move on its own to save Kakashi & Sakura". Because Naruto does care about Kakashi & Sakura. Therefore, he cannot ignore them falling into the lava and dying.

The Land of the Waves arc, specifically the battle with Haku and Sasuke's sacrifice, was pivotal to Naruto and Sasuke's relationship, as they both realized for the first time how important and deeply they care for each other. It was a very emotional moment for both of them.

When they came back from Land of waves, Naruto couldn't even look at him without blushing, and then Sasuke couldn't even look at him at all. They'd rather die in this moment than admit that how much they care for each other, but their actions speak louder than words.

Whenever something happens between these two, there are always other characters pointing out what's going on. After they return to Konoha, Kishi uses Sakura to point this out, even though it's clearly visualized in the panel:

Raw: あ〜〜〜まだだわ!

Romaji: a〜〜〜madadawa!

Literal: Ahh〜〜〜 Not again!

Raw: この2人...波の国から帰って来てからちょっ と変なのよね...

Romaji: kono 2 nin...ha no kuni kara kaettekite kara chotto hennanoyone...

Literal: These two... have been acting somewhat/ a bit weird ever since we came back from the land of waves...

Raw: づ〜〜〜 何だか気詰まり...

Romaji: zu〜〜〜 nandaka kizumari...

Literal: oh〜〜〜 I feel ill at ease for some reason....

Raw: 早く来い来い! カカシ先生!! じゃーんなろー!!

Romaji: hayaku koikoi! kakashi sensei !! Shānnarō!!

Literal: Hurry up and get here! Kakashi-Sensei!!

Notes:

変な (henna) - strange; odd; peculiar; weird; queer; eccentric; suspicious; fishy; disturbance; funny; abnormal; unusual etc... It is used as a colloquial word that has many meanings.

何だか気詰まり (nandaka kizumari): somehow I feel awkward; Somehow I feel uncomfortable; I don't know why, but I feel ill at ease.

• the author choose the length of prolonged sound mark (ーーー) longer to implying that the sound is prolonged for longer than normal. e. g: Naruto saying "Time on the bridge."

• prolonged sound mark → a wave line (〜〜〜) is used instead of a straight line (ーー)...this often represents a deliberate prolonging of the sound by the character who speaks it or just a trembly, shaky voice of the character.

Only Naruto and Sasuke knew what happened on the bridge, others like Sakura and Kakashi didn't know about it or not very clear about what exactly happened there. Later, Sasuke & Naruto didn't talk about it, but this scene always comes at crucial moments that point to their "precious person". Finally after 5 years, saving Naruto from falling into the lava leads to Naruto talking about what happened on the bridge.

Sasuke saves Naruto even when he knows Naruto could have saved himself because of Kyuubi Mode, but Sasuke has been known to save Naruto even when he doesn't need saving. We also know that Sasuke would rather give Naruto a stupid and lame excuse than tell the truth straight to Naruto's face. So, this isn't the first time Sasuke prioritize Naruto over Sakura, a pattern that has been repeating since Kishi introduced Sasuke to the story in Chapter 3.

Naruto's feelings for Sasuke grew stronger at this point. After everything Naruto had been through and talking to Sasuke every time they met, Naruto knew for sure that Sasuke still cared for him. Naruto could see through Sasuke's actions. Naruto truly understand and knows that Sasuke cares for him and that's why he mentioned what happened in the Land of Waves.

Naruto only says "bridge", but of course Sasuke knows that he was talking about that time at "The Bridge in the Land of Waves."

Sasuke had a reaction to Naruto's words. No matter what Naruto says, he wouldn't say anything... Sasuke is probably trying to show that he's "unfazed," but in reality, he might be "fazed" because Naruto has seen through his heart.

Sasuke's reaction... His facial expression is hidden by his hair and "not visible," but this "invisibility" stirs up the reader's imagination

And he's confidently teasing Sasuke: "Even though I asked you to save them, you saved me...because your body moved on its own... because you cared about me. so I'm sure you understand my feelings to save them....Sasuke"

However, the "meaning" of this conversation...is something only Naruto and Sasuke can understand and it's their extremely personal thing (because the events on that "bridge" are memories shared only by the two of them). Kakashi & Sakura certainly not aware of this peculiar phenomenon that is unconsciously moving bodies.

Sakura's "inner words"... they really express her current feelings. Sakura is convince herself that what Sasuke says is "reasonable." Look at what Sakura says, she herself agrees with Sasuke: "It's as Sasuke-kun says (we're useless)... but (thank you, Naruto for caring about us)...." Sasuke didn't care about her desperate attempts to get his attention. And Even she herself acknowledged it, you know!

Years ago Naruto & Sasuke couldn't even look at each other pretending nothing happened, but now Naruto was talking about it with confidence. And he's clearly flirting with Sasuke.

[666writingcafe]

Feeling a Bit Tense?

A (Mildly NSFW) Text Conversation Between Barbatos and MC

Barbatos: *waving emoji*

MC: *gif of someone waving tiredly*

Barbatos: Rough day?

MC: *gif of someone shrugging*

Barbatos: Do you need or want to talk about it?

MC: Should I?

Barbatos: If it will make you feel better, yes.

MC: *keeps typing and erasing messages*

Barbatos: Does this have anything to do with Solomon? If he's been messing with you, I'll be more than happy to talk to him for you.

MC: No need.

Barbatos: Do you genuinely feel that way, or are you just trying to get me to back off?

MC: Regarding this particular issue, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Barbatos: Okay.

Barbatos: So, what sort of "issue" are you dealing with?

MC: I'm not sure how to put it delicately.

Barbatos: Don't worry about sounding prim and proper. Just tell me what's on your mind.

MC: Here goes nothing...

MC: I'd like to get laid.

Barbatos: I see.

Barbatos: And you're worried about doing it with someone from this timeline, aren't you?

MC: I mean...wouldn't that cause a paradox?

Barbatos: Isn't it a bit late for you to start worrying about paradoxes, considering that three of us know your true identity?

MC: You, Diavolo, and/or Thirteen would have figured it out one way or another. We just figured it would be easier to be open about it with you guys than risk ending up dead or in prison.

Barbatos: Fair point.

Barbatos: Anyway, as long as you don't produce something that's not there in your timeline, you should be good to proceed.

MC: Except I don't trust many people here.

Barbatos: Understandable. I feel the same way.

MC: This is probably a pointless question, but have any advice?

Barbatos: I would say take care of it yourself, but that's not going to help much, is it?

MC: I mean, it's taken the edge off, but nothing I use is going to be quite the same as having another living, breathing person with me.

Barbatos: So you're looking for a physical connection.

MC: Kind of?

Barbatos: My next piece of advice would be to arrange a meeting with an escort, but as you've already stated, you're rather wary of most people here, and personally I don't like dealing with them. They ask for WAY too much when they realize that they're servicing the Young Master, and that doesn't just apply to money.

MC: *whistling crow sticker*

Barbatos: Maybe ask one of the brothers?

MC: *no sticker*

MC: We're not NEARLY that close for me to successfully get away with that.

Barbatos: Is there anyone else who lives here that you had some sort of a relationship with in your timeline?

MC: Yes, but they're out of the question.

Barbatos: Not necessarily.

MC: Trust me.

Barbatos: They're members of royalty, aren't they?

MC: *eyes emoji*

Barbatos: Interesting.

MC: Good or bad?

Barbatos: Not bad. Actually mildly impressed.

MC: Thanks?

Barbatos: So...

MC: *questioning sticker*

Barbatos: If you will allow me to be blunt for a moment, how would you like me to fuck you?

MC: *gif of someone spitting out water*

Barbatos: Simply being practical.

Barbatos: I'm not sending you back to Solomon.

Barbatos: The prince is too busy to help with this, sadly.

Barbatos: And I don't trust any of the other royals to not harm you. I want you to be able to return to your timeline in one piece.

Barbatos: Unless you don't trust me?

MC: It's not that.

Barbatos: Then what is it?

MC: In my timeline, I was your first.

Barbatos: Then that's perfect. We'll still keep that part of it accurate. It'd just happen sooner, which isn't a super big deal.

MC: If I didn't know better, I'd think this was your intention all along.

Barbatos: What, to get in bed with you?

MC: *nodding sticker*

Barbatos: I'd be lying if I told you that hasn't crossed my mind once or twice during your stay here so far.

MC: *gif of someone saying 'i knew it'*

Barbatos: What can I say? Like it or not, I'm a creature of desire.

Barbatos: Also...

Barbatos: Your scent has given you away a couple of times, so I figured that I'd had a fair shot if I ever DID want to indulge.

MC: *blushing emoji*

Barbatos: We'll talk more when you return to the castle.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[unreliablesnake]

All of the girls you loved before (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: Simon is moving into your place, but since he's away on a mission, you offer to pack his stuff in boxes. Too bad you find things that belong to his exes.

Note: Based on this Taylor Swift song. / It's around 700 words. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Warnings: none, it's fluff.

Simon spent most of his time away from home, so when you agreed to move in with him–or rather he would move into your place far from Manchester–he wasn't all that surprised that you offered to pack his things while he was deployed with the help of his sister-in-law. He thought it was sweet, something nice he would somehow have to pay back for later.

As you were packing, it was Beth who first stumbled upon an object in Simon's closet that she innocently assumed was yours: a sexy set of lingerie. But it wasn't yours, you had never owned anything in that color. You didn't say much, only said a few words and threw it into an empty box.

Soon the box was half full of things that belonged to other women. Clothes, underwear, makeup, other beauty products, handwritten notes, and pictures as well. They were all memories of a life Simon had already left behind before you came into the picture.

You could tell that Beth was walking on eggshells around you, probably thinking you were upset about that certain box. In a way, she was right. Who wouldn't be? It just makes you wonder if these are old things, or new ones he hid from you on purpose.

A few days later Simon returned and you met at his apartment so you could show him all of the boxes that would be shipped to your place the next few days. He was grateful for all of the things you had done for him, and once his eyes fell on a sad lonely box with a question mark written on its top in the corner of the living room, he couldn't help but wonder what that was.

“What's with that box?” he asked, pointing at it.

You gulped, at the bottom of your heart feeling stupid for being a little insecure about this. “Well, those are… I'm not sure if that's your stuff, but I packed it nonetheless.”

“Why? What's in there?” he asked, already walking over to the box to open it. He took out a photo first, then his forearm disappeared between the cardboard walls as he checked the rest of the items. “Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I thought I threw away everything,” Simon told you as he stood up and walked over to you.

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not. These belong to my exes and shouldn't be here at all.”

“Si, it's okay,” you assured him with a smile as you placed a hand on his upper arm. “I know you're over them. But they were a part of your life once, you can't just magically erase them.” With a confused look on his face, Simon studied your face with interest. “Unless these got into your apartment after we got together–”

“They were here sooner,” he was quick to interrupt you.

You smiled as you watched him for a few seconds before going on. “Those relationships didn't work out, and those women made you the one I love so much now. If anything, I'm grateful for them.”

Simon stepped closer, standing toe to toe as he looked down at you, his lips curling into a smile. “I love you too, sweetheart,” he told you, his hands reaching out to wrap around yours. “I'll still throw these away. They shouldn't be around us.”

“Look, if there's anything you would like to keep, like a photo or something, just go ahead,” you said, although you weren't that confident on the inside.

He probably noticed because he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head. “I don't need these. I only want to see your stuff in our place,” he mumbled into your hair.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Drinks pt. 1: Kyle Gaz Garrick x android!reader

You had resigned yourself to your office since the incident. You had been nonstop reviewing the intel and data you had received for the piece of it that caused your the error so you could delete it before it messed up any more of your plans.

A couple days had passed and they went by in the routine you had observed. The 141 avoided you unless they needed you and kept any interactions at a professional level.

When you had finally found the piece of data and erased it, Gaz had already recovered.

You downloaded the recent data you had received into your processors and prepared to analyze them when there was a knock at your door. You unplugged yourself from the computer and called out to whoever it was.

"Sergeant Garrick." You nodded when he stepped in and he gave you a quick smile that you didn't return.

"Heard you've been working hard." He said and you nodded again. "Hope you don't feel too guilty about what happened."

"I want to fix my mistake so it doesn't happen in the future."

"You can't plan for everything, not in this line of work."

You titled your head. You wanted to argue that you could since that was what you were made for. It was your only purpose and before the incident, you had never failed. However, you understood that arguing about it could cause your true nature to be revealed, so instead you agreed.

"Just don't burn yourself out, yeah?" He offered you a smile that slowly fell when you didn't offer one back.

"Was there something you needed, Sergeant?" You asked, unsure of why he decided to visit you.

It was out of routine, out of pattern, especially because up until this point he hadn't exactly acted anything more than cordial with you. You had endless data and in it was everything about the 141, so you knew that Gaz tended to be on the friendlier side, however this different than the relationship that had been created between you both.

"Yeah, actually," he began and shifted on his feet. "I know you've declined before but I think you should join us for drinks."

"Why?" You blinked and he shrugged.

"You're part of the team and you've been working hard. I know you're just here to do your job but I think it'd be great if we got along."

You blinked. You hadn't thought about whether or not bonding with the team would make it easier to work than before. Not that you had much trouble with the job you were given, but it was different for humans, especially the 141.

The patterns you had recognized and from their backgrounds they all valued friendships and relationships in some capacity, something you had no capacity for.

"I see. If you think strengthening our relationship will increase work productivity then I will join you for drinks." You told him and his eyes widened.

"Really?" He scoffed when you nodded but a smile pulled at his lips. "I told Soap the puppy dog eyes would work."

You didn't say anything as he awkwardly chuckled to himself.

"We're going to a pub. Nothing posh." He explained and you noted the information. "We can walk together."

"Okay."

You didn't know what else to say and Gaz must've taken that as anxiety as he gave you a reassuring look.

"Don't worry, I doubt there will be a lot of people there." He said and you wondered if that would be comforting to you if you were human. "Worse comes to worse I can do the talking, yeah?"

"Yes."

Gaz stood in front of you for a moment as if he expected you to say something else. When you didn't, he nodded slowly and gave you an awkward smile before opened the door.

"See you tonight then."

"Yes...see you tonight."

Silence filled the room and you stared at the door.

You were not equipped for going out to drinks. You were only programmed to look at data and provide the best numbers, not socialize and make bonds with others. Judging by the way Gaz had acted in your silence, and from the other times you remembered how the other reacted, you would create unwanted tension that would potentially ruin the bonding experience.

The people who made you didn't except you to agree to something like this, so it wasn't in your programming.

You turned to the computer that sat on your desk.

What was in your programming was to take in information. You were every much machine and computer as the laptop was so if you downloaded the right information you could look it up whenever.

It was against the your coding. You were meant for data analysis only.

But if you stored the information about what to do when going to pubs and how to act in the setting separately to your data then perhaps you could get away with it once. For the betterment of the team.

You began to type of your computer and plugged yourself in.

A/n: does this make sense? idk i've never really written an android character before lol

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Epilogue

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3k

Part 10 ←

Masterlist

Rafe wasn’t sure what to do. Now knowing you had overheard some of his conversation he knew how bad it looked. He was prepared to fix it, thing was he needed to come up with a plan. He was tired of dancing around you, never truly saying what he actually meant. This time he was going to prove to you that he wanted you and no one else. He wanted you exactly the way you were. The only problem was how do you convince a girl she’s worth it when she’s spent her whole life thinking she’s not? So Rafe was going to take his time because he was prepared to spend the rest of his time with you. That was until Mila sent him a new text.

Mila

A wave a sickness quickly washed over him at his desk, hand tightly gripping his phone as panic slowly replaced that sickness. The idea of you on a date made him want to kill whoever the hell the guy was and he had a feeling he knew exactly who it was. Slamming his phone down he dialed the pager on his desk phone to his assistant Kaitlyn.

“Yes Mr. Cameron” she answered almost instantaneously. After all of this he needed to remember to give her a raise.

“Get me AJ, now” and Kaitlyn scrambled out an okay while Rafe tried his best not to seethe at the thought of you trying to erase him completely. It’s only ten minutes later when AJ walks through his office door.

“Kaitlyn said you needed me” the smile on her face suggests she’s assuming some kind of hookup but when she spots his angry face she realizes fairly quickly this is not the case.

“You have a Tanner that works for you down there” Rafe nods his chin down to where AJ’s marketing floor lies.

“Yeah, Tanner Mason. He’s one of my best” she says fondly of her workers and Rafe nods as he processes his thoughts.

“Yeah, well today he’s just too good. I need you to up his work load, enough paperwork he won’t be getting home until midnight tonight. I don’t even care if you have to send someone home to do it” AJ quickly furrows her eyebrows, confused at what was going on.

“I don’t understand” she says, confused why Rafe who should have no clue who this worker is, is suddenly targeting him.

“Tanner has decided to ask my girl on a date, one he thinks he’s attending tonight, I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen” AJ wears a surprised look, realizing how serious he is right now.

“Why would she even be going out with him if she’s dating you?” AJ instantly questions, looking to place blame on her but Rafe just sighs.

“She dumped me and didn’t even say why. So I’m going to get her back. Whatever means necessary” the shocked face that crossed AJ’s features doesn’t surprise Rafe, yet he doesn’t back down.

“I guess I can send Emmet home, tell Tanner he’s sick and I need a completed ad by the end of the day” AJ finally says after a beat and Rafe smiles a sly grin.

“You’re the best AJ” he says and AJ rolls her eyes as she begins to stand up.

“You’re lucky we’ve been friends so long and I’m partial to you actually being in love. Believe it or not but there was a point in time I didn’t think you were capable. It’s nice to see you care so deeply about someone” and Rafe knows she’s referring to him never reciprocating her feelings during their time together. He would feel guilty but after all of this he knows now you can’t help who you fall in love with, you’re just along for the ride.

“It feels nice” he tells her and she lets out a chuckle before heading towards the door.

“You owe me, and I want to be front row at the wedding” she tells him and the blush that crosses his cheeks surprises her.

“Anything you want” and she accepts this answer before leaving the office and towards Emmet’s. She would’ve sent him home even if Rafe gave her no reason. Everything Rafe did had a purpose.

Rafe now content with the start of his plan being set in motion glances at the picture of you on his desk. The selfie you had taken in his lap that day you were here. He knows now he’s never going to move it, loving having your smiling face looking back at him. He was determined to have you smile at him like that again so he finally responds to Mila’s text.

Mila

Rafe didn’t care that she called him out on his behavior. He used to be a very different type of insane and she should be glad that this was the only crazy thing he was willing to do these days. You had changed him for the better and he wasn’t going to lose you now. He needed it to at least be real. To know that sleeping with you made it official and not some way of using you. He wanted you the way you were forever and he was willing to go back to his old ways to make it happen.

“He’s not answering me” you groan to Mila on the couch. You had been dressed for your date for the last hour, waiting for Tanner to pick you up but so far it hadn’t been done.

“Maybe he got caught up at work, I mean you know the boss” Mila snorts out and she’s glad her acting is good enough that you can’t tell she’s internally panicking. Rafe had her delete Tanners message, one where he informed you he got stuck at work and would have his phone off the rest of the day. You’re oblivious and Mila is praying this plan doesn’t blow up in her face.

“That’s not funny” you tell her with a pout but before Mila could say anything the doorbell rang. You nervously scrambled to answer it only to be met with an older gentleman and a limo in the street behind him.

“Hello Miss, Tanner is running a bit late so he’s asked me to escort you to the restaurant. Are you all set to go?” the formality shocks you and Mila realizes fairly quickly Tanner wasn’t the one who sent this limo at all. In defense of her best friend she should stop her but even Mila knew Rafe wouldn’t have planned all of this without purpose.

“Damn, a limo! Can I tag along just to ride?” Mila asks and the chauffeur just smiles at her, told to comply with any requests.

“Could she please?” you ask the man and he nods quickly.

“Of course, what fun is a limo without guests” he says before stepping out the way and gesturing in the direction of it.

“Thank you!” you say before grabbing Mila’s hand and rushing her to the limo. You had been full blown panicking now, not having gone on a real date in ages. Now it was even more intimidating riding in a limo there.

“God, drink some champagne and chill” Mila says when she spots your nervous behavior in the back of the limo. She was already on her second glass.

“I am chill” you defend as she hands you a glass that you have down in two full gulps.

“Yeah right” she mutters as you hold out the glass, awaiting her to pour more. She obeys and doesn’t say anything more as she lets you drink in peace and sits beside you in support.

It’s not long until the limousine pulls up in front of one of the most beautiful restaurants you had ever seen. Never would you have guessed a marketing job would provide such big bucks like this, yet you don’t complain. All you do is glance at Mila who has now ditched the glass to drink champagne straight from the bottle. She smiles and gives you a thumbs up which is all the confidence you need to leave the car when the chauffeur opens the door.

“Thank you…” you trail off, realizing you don’t know his name as he releases your hand from helping you out the vehicle.

“Harold” he tells you and you smile softly.

“Thank you Harold, sorry you have to deal with her alone” you gesture back to the car with a chuckle.

“I heard that!” Mila calls from inside and Harold lightly laughs with you.

“Tanner should be here soon, just tell the hostess you have a reservation under Tanner Mason” he informs you and you nod, filled with nerves because you didn’t even know his last name was Mason until now. You suppose that’s the whole point of going on this date though, getting to know each other. So you walk into the restaurant anyways and do as told where a hostess leads you to a private booth, jazz music playing over the chatter of people, and candles lighting up the dim table.

“Sorry I’m late” a smile crosses your face before you even register that it wasn’t Tanner’s voice. Rafe notices how quickly the smile vanishes as he slides into the spot where Tanner is supposed to be.

“Why are you here?” you glare, not in any mood for a stunt of his tonight. You were moving on, trying things you never had before. You didn’t need him here and messing it up.

“Tanner got caught up at work, something about a coworker being sick and a deadline to meet by tonight” Rafe says this sentence so naturally but you know he has something to do with it. Tanner would have never planned a date let alone not contacted you about it, yet you suppose Rafe had something to do with that too.

“So what? you thought you’d just come and fill in. Take his place for the night?” you scoff, arms crossing over your chest and immediately thinking of ways to get out of this restaurant.

“Try forever. You shouldn’t be with him Y/N! You should be with me” he groans out, hands fisting the table cloth in front of you both.

“That’s never going to happen” you say with the shake of your head, trying to look anywhere but him.

“Why? We spent that night together, I thought it was finally real. That you would finally let me love you and instead you blocked me on everything!” he countered and as much as hearing that he wanted you that didn’t change fact.

“Really Rafe, me too! Which is why I came by your office as soon as I could just to hear you talking with AJ about your current sex life. How shocked she was to hear you’d sleep with me at the same time as her. Luckily I left just as I heard you start talking about not being attracted to big girls” Rafe instantly goes back to that conversation in his head, realizing AJ had used present tense when talking with him.

“I haven’t slept with AJ in over two years. I cross my heart, I haven’t even been with anyone the entirety of the time we spent together. You have to believe me” he begs, needing you to know it wasn’t true. He was desperate for you to know it was true.

“Even if that’s true Rafe, I can’t be with someone who isn’t attracted to me. I get that I’m no beauty standard and I understand my body isn’t the healthiest but I deserve to be loved for all the things that make me, me. That includes being overweight” you say, fighting the tears that burn at the back of your eyes. You didn’t want to cry over him anymore. It wasn’t worth it.

“You don’t understand Y/N, you walked away before I could finish that day. I was saying I had never been attracted to big girls before and up until now I didn’t know why. You’re so beautiful, I love everything about you. I love the way your hair always falls in your face and how when you laugh to loudly you cover your mouth with your hands. Beauty isn’t a standard, it’s just in the eye of the beholder. Anyone is beautiful when you love them and baby I love you more than you know. I love you so much that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to me. As long as I have you, no other girl in the world matters” and the tears break free in full force, shock painting your features as Rafe’s words resonate with you. You want to believe he’s lying but what reasoning would he have? Based on his own tears in his eyes you realize that Rafe is telling you the whole truth for maybe the first time in the entirety of your relationship with him.

“You love me, exactly the way I am?” you can’t help but ask and Rafe chuckles, reaching long arms across the table to brush away your tears.

“I do, I love you more than anything and no matter what happens I always will” he says, sincerity cracking his voice and finally a smile appears on your face, chuckling through the tears.

“Well how in the hell did that happen?” you ask, the backs of your hands wiping the tears from your face while Rafe laughs at your words.

“I don’t know, guess it’s got something to do with this really cool girl I met in a bar” Rafe says and finally you stand from your side of the booth, rushing over to his own where he happily accepts you into his arms.

“You promise it’s real, everything?” you ask and Rafe smiles, a hand reaching and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“It always was” he tells you and that’s enough for you to lock your lips against his own. He kisses you like he can’t possible get enough, tongue sliding past your lips as your hands toy with his hair at the nape of his neck. He is everything you ever wanted and for the first time you deserved.

“I can’t believe you hijacked my date to get me to talk to you” you say when you finally break apart, heavy breaths falling past your lips from how deeply he was kissing you.

“I had to do something, you blocked me on everything with no explanation” he says with a bewildered look and you can’t help but laugh before pulling his lips to your own and kissing him again.

“I needed something effective to get you out of my system” you tell him and he grins, squeezing you tightly against him and in no hurry to let you go.

“You remember when we first hung out and I asked you if you had ever been in love before?” he asks you gently after a moment and you nod, softly leaning against him.

“Yeah and I told you I’d like to think I was but I wasn’t sure” you respond, remembering that day in his apartment so clearly. How much fun you had ended up having while hanging out with him.

“I only asked because I had realized I’d never been in love before, but now if someone asks me I can confidently say yes” he says with a grin and you can only giggle at the handsome boy in front of you.

“When did Rafe Cameron become such a sap?” you asked, knowing you’d seen every side of Rafe other than this.

“I’m only a sap for you so don’t go telling anyone” he tells you and for a single moment you’re the happiest you’ve ever been in the arms of the man you love. Rafe was your first and hopefully only love and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life getting to know him even more.

“Who would’ve thought a fake date would teach me how to love someone” you say to him and Rafe grins.

“Is that you finally saying you love me back, because I definitely have you beat on confessions tonight” he teases and you laugh loudly, hand covering your mouth which Rafe removes as he grins back at you.

“I love you Rafe Cameron, bad boy persona and all” you say and he pecks a sweet kiss to your lips.

“Learning to love, who would’ve thought it’d be me” he says referring to the journey you both had been on, going from loners to two people in love with each other.

“I sure as hell didn’t” you say and Rafe smiles just as the wine he had called ahead and ordered arrived to the table.

“This wasn’t Tanners date at all was it?” you ask and Rafe only grins, not embarrassed by his actions at all.

“Nope, this is all me. He texted and cancelled while you were in the shower and I had Mila delete it” he admits and you gasp, lightly smacking his arm as he goes to set a wine glass in front of you.

“You two are devious” you say and he shrugs, arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulls you close and sips from his glass of wine.

“Devious but successful” he tells you and you shake your head before laying it on his shoulder.

“You’re lucky I love you both” you tell him and he smiles, lips pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.

“Yeah, we definitely are”

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife @sunshine1218 @lavenderhazeq @theultimatefrenchfangirl @kravitzwhore @chalahyung01 @jenniferpendragon @kitty-marie725 @dlwritings @writevanna @alenerz @h34rtsformilli @just-cuz22 @superbreadsoul

a/n: and that’s a wrap. thank you so much everyone for coming with me on this journey and I hope you fell in love with their story as much as I did. clearly Rafe and the reader have a beautiful future ahead of them, no longer lost in the world. as for you my dear and loyal readers I wish this for all of you, not only find love but learning how to 🤍

[devine-fem]

Hi! I saw that a little bit ago you said you might write an essay on jondami and if that's something you're still interested in doing I'd love to see your thoughts compiled in that way. No pressure though, I know it's a lot of work!

Okay, took me a bit but here it is: the long awaited essay on Damijon, get a snack and something nice to drink because this is going to be unapologetically long.

Misconceptions. Firstly, I don't know how else to explain that I personally don't exactly see Damian and Jon as children. I mean that they are older to me, and I feel this because with comic books when a character is a child that is their time for development and growing. With Robins they always have this inability to be allowed to grow up due to DC personally wanting Batman to always have a Robin in his arsenal. The thing with Damian and Jon is that they are made to reach a finish line. That finish line being Superman and Batman, which they cannot be before developing and growing into those mantles (if the writer is good and has common sense of course) first. We see that in DCeased, WW23 and other Damian books in the past that becoming Batman and Superman is an important topic for these characters, they have a long way to go. Admittedly, I do enjoy content as to where they are younger because that is where their dynamic peaked to me, I also think it's a very simple serotonin boost and if it's innocent then I really have no issue with indulging. But to me... that's not Damijon. Damijon is about friendship, Damijon is about always being able to seek and find in a certain person and I don't particularly care if this is platonic or romantic. It's important to remember that in canon, they are nothing but friends and I enjoy that all the same, but I also find it interesting to explore their dynamic if it was in a romantic context and that is what Damijon is all about to me. It's just "what would these two characters would do if they developed a different kind of affection towards the other." In my head, with as Damian is now, I doubt he'd be able to hold an intimate relationship without training wheels first and a very understanding partner. He's emotionally distant and he has this great fear of being abandoned which I think would suffocate the relationship. Children are confused and lost people who haven't found themselves yet and while Damian and Jon are both children... I don't exactly think there will be enough room for Jon's problems and Damian's problems as well. I also kind of struggle with wanted to rid them of their age gap, their age gap is just big enough to make it as if Damian has some authority over Jon. It makes it so eventually as Damian and Jon grew that Damian would be somewhat out of reach for Jon and perhaps, he could feel like he'd have to chase after Damian a bit when it comes to milestones and development. It makes them just a little bit more interesting and as I said, I don't exactly want to erase that.

A lot of people bring up the topic of maturity between these two but that would mean that Damian is more mature than Jon and you would know that this is not the case in the comics. The person who slings around insults is Damian, the person who acts brashly is Damian, the person or initiates fights is Damian. The immature one is Damian, he may act like he knows everything but he is a child, he’s incredibly immature and we should remember that.

Damian. It's particularly hard to describe both Jon and Damian separately for me at this point. To me they are something that should had never been separated. Something that comes as a set. Like one of them is missing the other when alone. The thing about Damian Wayne is that he spent his childhood years training to be a natural born winner. He never had a moment in Robin or Damian Al Ghul that let his life be truly his own. The thing about his relationship with both Talia and Bruce is that he feels as though he needs to earn affection and love, similar to how some children may feel this too after going through psychological abuse and neglect - this coming from both Bruce and Talia at times.

It should be noted that the comic that contains this panel is not a good representation of Talia and Damian's relationship but overall, this line is somewhat accurate and holds weight to their dynamic. Damian is someone who feels the need to earn his keep, it's instilled in his brain that basic things that others may get will not be given to him without him having to earn it first. Damian feels like he doesn't belong, like he's stuck between two worlds. He's burdened by constantly having a destiny, a path already carved into the ground for him. Jon. Jon is quite simple. His whole narrative revolves around similar themes as Damian to where Jon feels like he's not truly like his father but also not entirely like his mother. He wants to live up to being like his dad, but a lot of his own individualism gets lost in the process. He has this need to prove himself and make others proud. His upbring was simple and homey. Lois Lane and Clark thought that it'd be best to hide the fact that Clark is Superman and Jon is half kryptonian in order to provide him a mundane foundation as a person. There's not much to say about Jon alone because unfortunately his characterization was cut quite short. Let me talk about the age-up situation. Some people don't understand why this is such a bad thing for Jon's character, but I strongly believe that people of this opinion simply do not care about the character since this is character assassination in the most basic form. Jon's childhood was a very important part of his character as it is for literally all characters. That's where all his personality quirks and traits come in, that's where he can resonate with the audience the most, that's where his bonds with other characters are established. As Jon is now, he's being thrown into the finish line with no prior characterization. Jon's personality is going to be lost when writers pick him up, at times he even seems emotionless and purposeless. He is entirely unrecognizable to me. The only thing that has been established for him is his sexuality and his boyfriend and his solo revolved entirely around said boyfriend. The least they could do is make them good representation, but they aren't even that, sorry, it's jarringly obvious. And it's not just that its "getting in the way of my ship" because I don't want Jon and Damian to be canon, not really, not when this is how they treat a canonically queer character... look at what happened to Jon. I imagine that if they were to be canon then I'd find myself complaining about how DC can't do Jon and Damian's dynamic properly constantly. I don't have that much faith in them. It's disheartening that as a fan of him that I don't have as many good things of him that I do bad. The ship also suffers from this because it's literally about growing up beside someone and that childhood friends to lovers appeal.

Damian & Jon. A lot of time in Damian's stories because of his abrasiveness and offputting/distant personality, he finds it hard to make friends and sometimes it's not entirely the other person's fault. The thing about when he met Jon is that became a past time for him, he was someone who just wanted to be around - who actually went out of his way to be around him as well as they have a wholesome foundation for a friendship. Jon feels deeply for Damian as Damian feels deeply for him. Over and over again, Jon's life is threatened in some way which forces Damian to pull down his emotional walls and show that he does care for Jon.

It's established repeatably that Damian cares a lot for Jon because when he's in danger, he visually starts to panic. Even going as far as calling Jon by his first name which is rare for him because Damian calls everyone by their last name because he speaks very formally but when Jon gets hurt, Damian slips up to suddenly call him by his first name.

Damian was so shaken up that he accidentally calls Jon his friend afterwards, which is important to note because he has always refused to acknowledge their friendship for stubborn reasons. Also to note Damian's stubbornness I'd also like to mention the time where Damian refused to acknowledge Jon could join the teen titans, every time Jon proposed the idea, Damian shut him down till it came the time to vote on whether or not Jon does join the titans and Damian was literally the only person who raised his hand.

This was one of the moments I was most frustrated with Damian because all that arguing with Jon was truly just to annoy him and nothing more, he secretly believed Jon could join the titans the entire time but when it came down to it-

He only made himself and Jon look stupid and proceeds to brush off their friendship once again. I have to admit it is slightly interesting even when frustrating. As for Jon, yes, they bumped heads at first and Jon found himself getting extremely frustrated with Damian's attitude, but it was mostly because Damian is someone, he knows he's going to have to spend a lot of time working besides and he only wanted to be his friend while Damian seemed uninterested.

The thing about these two is that whether they like it or not, they will have to spend their entire lives beside each other. This is something no other dynamic in DC can really replicate. We know Jon feels deeply for Damian, it wasn't able to be verbalized often unfortunately but he has mentioned how highly he thinks of Damian, calling him "the strongest person I know" - stronger than him by far. He's one of the few characters that want to see Damian as he is and doesn't want anything from him, he just likes being around Damian.

And for Damian one of the few ways he knows to provide to Jon is taking him away and going on missions with him, it's kind of sad to think about how this is one of the few ways he knows how to express that he wants to be around Jon. He's gotten up in the middle of the night, went across the city and met up with Jon to hang out with him.

It's sad, yes, but also really sweet. A lot of characters assume the worst for Damian and think that he's bound to end up being the worst version of himself or think he's like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment.

But instead, Jon refuses to acknowledge that Damian can be evil at all, denying entire alternate realities where Damian is slowly becoming the worst version of himself because he deeply believes that in Damian's heart, he could never be anything less than great. Their mantles. Not to talk about DCeased but yes, I will be talking about DCeased because that is the perfect example of how these characters function to me.

This comic showed his the long, excruciating, and lonely years these two would have to face in disaster. The trauma of losing everything, your family and your world and moving mantles to stop it but it being something they had to do together. Like a grave already buried in the ground for them but they laid in it together as kids and adults. If you truly want to understand this ship I deeply think you should turn on your brain and read DCeased.

How they contrast. Jon and Damian's are distinctly different, their personalities are different, their upbringing is different, and what they deeply identify with is different. This is why at times they may argue but at the end of the day, they have to share their life with the other.

How they compare.

At times where they may think they are alone or have no one to talk to then they will always have each other, they're supposed to, that's what their relationship is built on. Understand that in the most basic sense that these two are platonic soulmates. They will be there for each other at the beginning.

And at the end.

They share this great burden together, they share similar paths, fears, worries and goals. They will always be together even when one of them might not want to be because the worst thing you can be when all of these things are happening to you; is alone. Their lives tell the same story just in different places and perspectives, sometimes their most defining moments directly mirror each other.

They both feel like they don’t belong and like they’re stuck between two worlds as well. For Jon, it’s Krypton and Earth, for Damian, its Batman and Al Ghul.

Their mantles supply this destiny they share. It’s what will bring them together and pull them apart.

I feel the need to mention that Jon is one of two characters that sees Damian beyond the son of batman, Damian has said “Well, If I am almost Batman.” and Jon said “You’re so much more than that.”

Damian said “Do you have a better offer?” and Jon said “Well, I have you.”

… I have to love them.

Their relationship with one another platonically. They have the friendship to end all friendships. It quite literally transcends space and time. Regardless of if you like Jon and Damian being friends in the first place or not, you cannot deny that what Jon has done for Damian is not important.

Like I said with Damian, he feels as though the love that he receives has to be earned but when he met Jon, he was introduced to the idea that someone wanted to simply be around him, that someone wanted to be his friend and love him unconditionally. You cannot deny that this friendship helped develop these two in very good directions, not only are these two entertaining but they help each other progress by simply being around the other.

They give to each other what other people can’t. Dick Grayson even admits that Jon sees something in Damian that other people like to ignore. This is very important. Now Jon’s relationship to Damian could help him as well, knowing Damian could grant him an extra layer of empathy and understanding, it already does and he can use what he’s learned from Damian in the future.

Damian teaches Jon what it means to be a hero, Jon teaches Damian what it means to be a kid. Damian shows Jon what love has been and Jon shows Damian what love can be. It’s very compelling. These are two lost people who make each other feel accepted and normal.

The potential of their relationship romantically.

Imagining what it would be like if DC was capable of allowing these two to engage in a romantic relationship with the other is compelling. Firstly, I highly doubt that DC will ever properly portray these two’s relationship with the other if they did pull the trigger.

But in the fantasy world where everything is perfect, I think it’d be nice for these characters to have a relationship free of their narratives. To be allowed to be confused about their feelings and even reject them; to have us as an audience be able to watch these two slowly navigate it over time and especially with them both being same sex, I feel like DC just showing that they’re not afraid to portray that type of relationship between character directly under one of their biggest names is certainly heartwarming.

Jon coming to terms with liking boys and having a crush on someone the same gender as him while also struggling to have that perfect american life that his father’s narrative values so much and that confusing him.

Damian struggling with his feelings and allowing himself to not feel like he’s doing something wrong by falling in love with another person.

And perhaps this love being catalyst for them to want to grow up to be distinctly different from their fathers, to carve a path for themselves because they realize that they are their own person and can’t be entirely perfect for everyone else but just perfect enough for each other.

The wasted potential of the characters overall. Super Sons was a very important comic book, it supplied things for Damian fans that was starved of us. If you look at the internet before Super Sons you will see people complaining about how Damian's stories do not contain a certain element to it which was entirely fixed by Super Sons being created, Super Sons left much to be desired. I still think that series was meant to go on for way longer than it did and contain a lot of meaningful stories for the both of them so it's a real shame that it was cut short.

Unfortunately, even though some writers want to separate Jon and Damian, they’ll never fully be able to because of how engraved Damian is into Jon’s character. Damian is one of Jon’s core personality traits because overall, he is greatly lacking so they’ll never be able to be truly separated. It’s safe to say that his character is ruined and the only way for you to like it is to have bad taste in media.

Why I personally think it’s so good. All of these things I mentioned are not really given to you with other ships like Timkon, Superbat, etc. Nothing speaks to me like this and if you really understood it then you'd know that all of these things are entirely different. Damijon in canon is literally what people think Superbat is, the way that people want Clark to provide release and catharsis to Bruce is literally done for Damijon in canon. Between Superbat, Timkon and Damijon, Damijon evidently has the strongest bond/is allowed to have the strongest bond, these characters distinctly have an effect on the other that cannot be replicated with the others. Not to put these two ships down but it's evident, I've always been against the idea that Timkon and Superbat are similar to Damijon because they just aren't literally at all.

I truly believe that if Jon and Damian weren’t Superman and Batman’s sons then I’d still ship them anyway, I also think with unfortunately the way that DC is dealing with Jon’s character that if Damian was allowed to have a relationship akin to his with Jon’s something almost exactly mirroring Jon and Damian then I’d drop Damijon instantly… but… till that day.

Damian and Jon make each other happy in the purest way possible and till that stops I think I’m shipping that.

What to check out if you’re interested in it. I made a reading list for these two a while back.

[soldiersslut]

GHOST OF YOU — SOLDIER BOY "PROLOGUE"

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 907

Author's Note: Hello everyone! If there is any confusion in the writing or plot I am so sorry. The clarification and plot will be explained in the author's note at the end of the prologue.

I hope this is a good start. I had an account on here a long time ago but I had quit writing. I am back now and OBSESSED with Soldier Boy. I knew if I was going to come back into writing it would be about him. I am going to try and keep this constant and add a chapter weekly, but if I finish one sooner I will post it as soon as possible.

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Soldier Boy, Ben, has been through it all.

He's had to endure the absence of his mother, and his father only viewed him as a burden.

Ben was given the opportunity of a lifetime. Thanks to Vought American he became one of the first supes created by Compound V. Thus it resulted in him being used by Vought for American propaganda films, making him a sex symbol and publicity superhero.

Being born 1919 and living all the way up to the 1970s. Time had been on his side. He never faced the consequence of old age so he saw different ideas, inventions, and development come to life.

Despite Soldier Boy living a lifetime he felt he had reached his peak when Payback had been created. Not only did he have his sidekick, there was other members that have shown him loyalty (to him it did not matter whether it was out of fear or respect), and he had the love of his life; Crimson Countess. At least he thought that was the love of his life.

Then there was you.

The grey part of his life. You were the forbidden fruit that he was not allowed to take a bite out of. Soldier Boy did not give a fuck though. He took whatever it is that he wanted and the entire time you were with Payback he took every and any chance possible. Soldier Boy loved Crimson Countess, but you were his adoration.

There was something special about you, and he has never been able to point his finger at what made you so special.

Was it the attention he received?

Your unconditional loyalty?

Was it your superpower that made him respect you? Because technically, you level with him. After all you are able to absorb any power with a single touch. That's why you were called Mimicry.

Soldier Boy didn't let it bother him. He had you and no one was going to take that away from him.

Until you stopped it all.

That's where everything went downhill for Soldier Boy.

You were not stupid. Soldier Boy would have never settled unless it was with Crimson Countess. You knew what you signed up for when you tangled yourself with him. Though there came a point you wanted something more.

Someone else came into your life and swept you off of your feet. They promised you a relationship, marriage, and a family. Your partner was okay with you remaining in Payback. When things got serious you stopped going after Soldier Boy. You remained loyal to Soldier Boy because he was the leader, but there was a limit now and it tortured him.

He reached his breaking point when you randomly decided to resign from Payback. No one wanted to tell him the truth. You knew he was going to try and find out one way or another. So you told him the truth.

You're pregnant. You were expecting with your husband.

Soldier Boy never believed words could hurt worse than any bullet, stab, burn, or anything. You left and never came back to Payback.

No amount of alcohol, drugs, and whores could erase you. No matter how many times he told himself that he loved Countess and wanted a family with her erased you.

His cruelty was beginning to show more with his teammates. It had gotten so bad they betrayed him and he had yet to realize.

Years had passed already and you moved on with your family. Though you still had your contacts within Vought American and someone confessed what actually happened. You did not think twice about finding him in Russia. You were so close and yet so far.

You were able to free him and you were only one door away before getting shot down. Soldier Boy was indestructible, you weren't. It felt like time slowed down for you both. Just when you fell to the floor he followed behind to hold you. He saw the light leave your eyes. That was the only time Soldier Boy felt hopeless. This time, he actually wanted to be a hero and save someone. He wanted to save you.

Soldier Boy believed this was his punishment for all eternity. It was torture every time he was awaken to be experimented on. What was agonizing was waking up every time and be reminded that you were unsuccessful in saving him. It was because of him you had died.

That was until he— saw you again?

Wait, that makes no sense.

You are dead. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.

And yet, when the chamber was opened once again you are there. Though you are in different clothes. Your hair is styled differently. This has to be some sick and twisted torture to see if that will make him break. Though he saw no scientists around, only a group of men and one other woman. Soldier Boy was too confused, but he saw an opportunity to escape so he did.

Though the question remains now.

Who are you?

You, this new version of you, isn't who he remembers as you.

You are the complete opposite.

You are not Mimicry.

You are not on compound V.

You are human, and yet you are the very much alive ghost of the love of his life.

How is that even possible? Whatever the answer might be Soldier Boy is determined to find out who you are and how is it even possible.

Next Chapter: Chapter One

Author's Note: Let me clarify now in case there was confusion. You wanted to help in finding the weapon that killed Soldier Boy, and it turns out he himself is the weapon. What you did not know is that you are the human "doppelganger" (or clone? Whatever suits you best) of your ancestor whom he was in love with while Payback was still a thing.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 68

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 6K

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Sunday, March 6th; 10:30 AM - At Ona's place.  

- "We have something to tell you."  

That was the sentence that greeted Lucy and me after breakfast this morning. It was just the two of us, and I think my mother took advantage of the moment. Knowing the girls, they must have come home late last night. As for us, we walked through the front door at 2 AM, and from what we saw, Ingrid and Mapi's bedroom door was still open. Our evening had been magical, full of joy and emotions. I wish I could relive it over and over again. I was happy. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. Unfortunately, I sensed it would fade given the situation we were in.  

We were seated on the couch with my mother and Marcus in front of us, both looking very nervous. Joan had stayed upstairs to play. I suspect my mother sent her up there.  

- "So? Are you going to tell us what's going on?" I asked after two minutes of silence.  

- "First of all," my mother began, "we're very happy to welcome you into our family, Lucy. We appreciate you a lot, and it's not just because you make my daughter happy."  

I glanced at my girlfriend, who smiled and nodded gratefully. I could tell she appreciated being accepted. Still, she would always respect my decisions if something were to happen, knowing that I had been estranged from them for a long time. Things were beginning to change. My mother was making efforts toward both my brother and me. She had acknowledged her mistakes. Unfortunately, it wouldn't erase all the months and years of suffering I had endured with her in the blink of an eye. We would have to work hard on our relationship, and I knew I had work to do on myself as well.  

- "I hope your love lasts in happiness, just like Marcus and I are experiencing..."  

I stared at her intently. I often wondered if my father had meant anything to her when I saw her with Marcus. I would say yes, but did she love him as much as this man sitting across from us? Neither of them ever spoke to me about their relationship. It was as if they tried to forget it, and in the end, I was the one who had forgotten what they were like together.  

- "Is something bothering you, Ona?"  

I realized I had drifted into my thoughts, staring at them as if they were a point of focus. I shook my head.  

- "No, no. Sorry. I was just thinking."  

Lucy placed her hand on my thigh, giving me a supportive smile. I knew she could tell I was unsettled.  

- "Maybe we can talk about it?"  

- "No, it's fine. I don't particularly want things to escalate."  

Whenever we talked, it always ended that way. I didn't need Lucy to witness another scene like that. They were often intense, and I didn't want her to see me in a rage. It's not like she had never seen me like that before, but she didn't need to see it again.  

- "Come on, we can talk about it, I'm sure."  

I sighed deeply. She wouldn't let it go. She never does. I looked her straight in the eyes and stayed honest.  

- "I know you're going to announce your wedding. I thought about Dad, that's all. No one has ever talked to me about your relationship, so hearing you say that makes me feel like he never existed."  

I could tell my words hit home. She probably hadn't expected such a candid response.  

- "I..."  

She was at a loss for words. I had managed to leave her speechless. That didn't happen often.  

- "Y-you're right. We were going to announce our wedding, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten your father. Don't get me wrong, Ona, I loved him deeply. We just had some differences that ended our marriage."  

- "I know. I was just thinking that I barely remember you two together because no one ever talks to me about it."  

My response created an awkward silence, and I realized it had been misinterpreted. They probably thought I would react badly. That was often the case when it came to my father. Lucy knew that all too well, having already been the victim of one of my anger episodes at school.  

- "It's fine, really. I didn't mean anything by it. You can continue," I encouraged them with a wave of my hand.  

- "No, you're right. I shouldn't announce our news without talking about your father first. We intentionally never brought up our relationship with him to avoid hurting you or making the situation worse at the time, but I see now that it's bothering you."  

I wasn't expecting that response. My surprise must have shown on my face. My mouth went dry. I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear this story, but she was right. It was bothering me. I had matured, so maybe I was finally capable of hearing it. I was certain of it when Lucy squeezed my thigh. There was no better time. She would support me if I needed it, and she was already doing so with her touch.  

- "Alright," my mother began with a nervous cough, "what exactly do you want to know?"  

- "Everything. If we're going to talk about it, let's lay it all out now."  

In reality, I wasn't sure I could handle multiple conversations about this. I had a feeling none of this would be pleasant, so I figured I might as well hear everything at once, to swallow the pill in one go instead of several. There were so many unanswered questions in my life. It was time for answers. It was what I needed to move on and mend my relationship with my mother. She shifted uneasily in her seat. She was uncomfortable. Marcus had been silent until now, but he offered support by holding my mother's hand. It was clear he knew what was going on, which drove me crazy.  

- "It's a long story, but I think it's time you heard it," she began.  

I agreed. My progress in self-control was evident. I just hoped I wouldn't explode in the end. My mother took a deep breath before starting.  

- "We didn't agree on my career choices. I was young when I had you. You weren't planned... At least, not so soon. Back then, I had big dreams. I wanted to become one of the best surgeons."  

A lump was already forming in my throat. I could feel that I wasn't going to like much of what I was about to hear.  

- "And I did become one. By the time I finished my internship, people were fighting to hire me. It took a lot of time and perseverance... to the point where I neglected our family at home."  

I don't remember that. I don't know how old I was, but I must have been very young, maybe even a baby.  

- "I had many opportunities to leave, but I couldn't do that to your father. He supported me from the start, took care of you... And I loved him. Leaving would have been a total disaster. I couldn't do that to him. So I stayed in Portugal for our family."  

I knew my mother had lived in Barcelona before meeting my father. My father used to tell me that story when I was young. They met by chance in Portugal while my mother was on vacation there. It was love at first sight. She left home at a young age to live her life with him. I had long wondered if my mother had any regrets. I knew my father didn't. He always wanted me to believe that love could happen in a single glance. For a long time, I didn't believe him. The way he described love, I had never felt it... until the person sitting next to me now. It was no coincidence that I told her last night that she was my soulmate. I didn't believe in such things before I met her.  

- "But," my mother continued, "there came a time when love wasn't enough anymore. I wasn't happy, and the situation was getting worse."  

The fights between my parents came flooding back to me. If there's one thing I remember about them being together, it's that. It's rather sad that their only child, the product of their love, only remembers that.  

- "In the meantime, I was in frequent contact with Marcus... He was an old friend of your father's from the army. He visited often when you were younger, with Sarina. Sarina had left the army after a mission where she almost lost her life. Your father saved her. She later opened Camp Wiegman in Manchester, so she stopped visiting."  

My thoughts were starting to come together. Everything was beginning to make sense. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. So, I had already met Wiegman when I was little. She had hinted at it, but I didn't believe her. Once again, I must have been young because I didn't remember her. But Marcus, I remembered clearly. I still picture him sipping coffee with my father during his visits. They were close.  

- "Do you remember?" she asked, noticing that I was drifting off.  

- "Vaguely," I admitted softly.  

- "Maybe you remember Lotte? Sarina always came with her husband and daughter. You spent a lot of time with her when you were younger."  

I widened my eyes. Lotte? Really? She quickly realized that I didn't remember. I clearly remember meeting her for the first time when I arrived. She had tried to be nice to me, and I had rudely brushed her off.

- I-I don’t remember.

- Your grandparents often looked after you together during your vacations. You were inseparable until Sarina couldn't come anymore.

I feel guilty. Poor Lotte. No wonder she feels uncomfortable around me. I’ll go talk to her when I return to clear things up and apologize.

- Anyway, she says, getting back to the main topic. Regarding your father and me, he understood that I had become close to Marcus. We were like best friends, confidants. That’s what we were, at first, of course.

It's strange how the images come back to me. The laughter between them, the conversations, and even the little gestures. They seemed so close. I find it hard to believe her words at that moment. A small rage fills me. However, I hold back, determined not to let anything show. I promised myself not to overreact.

- Nothing was happening at that time, Ona. I was always faithful to your father.

She noticed I was skeptical. Maybe it's true, but I have this relentless need to defend my father.

- Your father never blamed me for anything… except when it came to you. He resented me for not taking care of you. You were his only daughter, and he always saw you unhappy because you lacked the love of your mother.

Tears well up in my eyes. At least now I know why I feel the need to defend him. He had always done the same for me. I owe him that much now.

- He was right. I couldn't bond with you because of how little time I spent at home.

- And what did you think? That those yearly vacations would change anything? I snap despite myself.

Those are still my best memories. The only ones where I remember being with both of my parents at the same time. It’s crazy that I can’t recall anything else of the three of us. Maybe that’s why I have this need to travel…

- No... By the time I wanted to do something about it, it was too late. You already hated me. I didn’t know you. Then came the job offer in Barcelona. It wasn’t just anything. It was my city. We had just had a huge fight over you when the offer came in. Your father wanted me to take it, without following me...

The news hits me like a punch. I expected the decision to be made by both of them.

- He had kept too much inside and couldn’t take it anymore. He knew I wasn’t as happy, and it was the opportunity of a lifetime. He let me go out of love. He wanted me to become an exceptional surgeon, and that’s what this hospital in my hometown offered...

My throat tightens. My father is an honorable man. There’s nothing else to say.

- So, we decided to divorce and then figure out custody. Of course, his condition was to keep you… Unfortunately, what he didn’t foresee was that the law would refuse it because of his job, and also because mothers take precedence in these situations.

I blink several times. He had asked for my custody. I can’t believe it. I thought he knew all along that he wouldn’t be able to keep me because of the army. I didn’t know he had asked for custody during the divorce. I feel like crumbling. I could have avoided so much by staying with him, especially the deterioration of my relationship with my mother. Tears stream down my face, and I can’t stop them.

- So, I took you with me. I saw it as a new chance. I was starting the job of my dreams and bringing you along at the same time. I wanted to make up for lost time, take care of you, get to know you. Of course, you never let me, and on top of that, I had a ton of work to prove myself.

My mother also starts to cry. I’ve never seen her like this, so vulnerable. She’s opening up her heart, her true thoughts. Her voice breaks more and more as she speaks.

- All those school summons I received when you were younger… The fights and the false accusations you’ve thrown at me recently... I acted that way because I expected it to be provocation from you. I thought you were trying to defy me because you were a young teenager...

I swallow my tears. I want to yell at her. It’s torture, but I’ll stay silent until the end.

- And what about Marcus coming into our lives? That was less than a year after we moved here. And what about my studies? Why did you force me to take something I didn’t like just to please you?

It’s stronger than me. I had to know everything, and anger helped me let it all out. I did my best to hold it in.

- I had only moved here a few years before you, Marcus explains himself. I came first to support your mother. The breakup with your father affected her, and she couldn’t manage you... The time you caught us was an accident. We weren’t together, and it wasn’t supposed to happen.

- An accident? I scoff.

- Ona! my mother scolds. What Marcus says is true...

- Well, sorry, but I find it hard to believe. I may have been young, but you should have talked to me. Instead, you stayed silent all the time. I have every right to be angry at you! I thought something had been going on for a long time, that you betrayed Dad even before you left!

- That wasn’t the case. I promise, sweetheart...

- Don’t call me that! Everything between you happened way too fast! After catching you, how long? Eight months before you moved in together? Excuse me, but I had every reason to be angry. I had just left my country, left my father, and then I saw you with one of his best friends! You should have known it would affect me, that I wouldn’t accept the situation! And did you even think about Dad? What he must have felt when you told him!?

She’s devastated, really devastated by my words, but it’s only the truth. They handled everything so poorly. Communication is important. It’s not like I wouldn’t have understood at twelve years old.

- We weren’t together, insists Marcus in the face of my anger. I was only supporting your mother through this, and we eventually developed feelings for each other. Your father knew. I asked for his blessing before anything happened.

- You two are such idiots, I snap. If he gave you his blessing, it’s only because he was still crazy about Mom and wanted her to be happy!

My rage grows despite myself. I remember how betrayed I felt on my father's behalf. I can't even imagine the state he must have been in.

- You should be ashamed of what you did to him!

- He knew, my mother sighs.

- And I assure you, he accepted our relationship, Marcus continues. He wanted your mother to have someone by her side.

- Sure, I scoff. You weren’t the one seeing him so depressed when I visited. He wasn’t the same. Even though we still had good times together, I could tell he wasn’t well, and it’s all because—

- He had someone else!

My mother had to raise her voice to be heard over my outburst. Everything inside me deflates. What do you mean, he had someone else? How come I didn’t know? My father told me everything!

- He had someone else, she repeats in the face of my stunned silence. A colleague. Leila. He must have introduced her to you once, back when they were just friends. He was seeing her even before we signed the divorce papers.

Leila... I remember her. She’s right. I only saw her once when I was thirteen, yet that woman left an impression on me. She was beautiful, with almond-shaped blue eyes as lively as life itself. I can picture her perfectly with my father.

- He never had the chance to introduce her to you officially. If he was so unwell, it’s because he didn’t have you with him.

- Why didn’t he introduce her to me?

- He wanted to, but he didn’t know how you would react after how you responded to us. I told him you would react well and that it could even fix things, but he wouldn’t listen. He was afraid you wouldn’t want to see him anymore. He thought deep down, you still hoped we’d get back together...

It’s my fault. I had confided too much in him, and he got scared. I did say those things. I wanted to go back to Portugal at that time.

- Besides, their relationship wasn’t stable. They broke up often. Leila had family far away, so she visited them a lot and wasn’t around much. I think her father was very ill. If not that, she was often on missions at different times from your father. You didn’t go there much... It was hard to find the right time for you to meet her.

I hold back my words. She’s trying to soothe me, but all I can think about is how my father didn’t want me to know about his relationship... I would have accepted it... For once, my mother is right in saying it could have fixed things. I would have felt less betrayed for him. Even if I didn’t accept my mother’s relationship, it was a different story. As if she knew what I was thinking, she continues:

- He didn’t want you to resent him, like with Marcus and me. You rarely visited, so he just wanted to enjoy your company and make you understand that you were the only woman in his life.

I lower my head. Lucy's hand has been resting on my thigh since the beginning. I dare not look at her. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint her with my reaction. I feel guilty. I feel guilty for not being able to hold myself together. I feel guilty that my father might have thought I would resent him. If there’s anyone I would never resent, it’s him.

- He loved you so much, Ona. It’s clear he would always side with you and put you before anyone else. His greatest regret was letting you leave with me.

I can’t hold back my tears any longer. My greatest regret has been losing the greatest man I’ve ever known. It’s always the best ones who leave first.

- I regret it too.

- Ona... Lucy murmurs with sorrow.

I shake my head and wipe my eyes with my arm.

- I’ve lived with misunderstandings that have caused chaos throughout my life. Come on. I promised to listen to everything until the end, so why don’t you explain to me why you forced me to study what you did? To make me better, perhaps?

I’m at my limit. I can’t control myself as I’d like. In the end, learning everything at once has been harder than I thought. It’s hard to believe I was the happiest just a few minutes ago.

- I... she begins, very disturbed by my reaction.

I urge her to continue. I need to finish this. It was the last question I had to feel at peace with my mother.

- I wasn’t on good terms with your father either. Medicine helped me move forward as it required a lot of work. I thought those studies would have the same benefit for you and, on top of that, you’d have a good job... I wanted to act as a good mother, but I was wrong. You simply needed freedom, and I clearly didn’t give you enough of it.

I get up from my seat. I have all the answers I wanted. Lucy tried to pull me back into her arms, but I push her away in the heat of the moment. I don’t want her to see me like this. I leave the living room to go upstairs. On the way, I cross paths with our friends. From the looks on their faces, especially Mapi’s, I guess they must have overheard part of our conversation. It’s the least of my concerns right now. I reach my room and slam the door behind me. I’m simply a bundle of nerves about to burst. I clutch at my hair, looking around. I need to calm down; otherwise, I’m going to wreck this room.

- Ona, Lucy sighs, as she arrives.

- Leave, please. I don’t want you to see me like this.

- Don’t say that.

I clench my fists. Others in her place might have done everything to avoid me right now, but she isn’t afraid to face me. She approaches gently, giving me the chance to retract, but I don’t. I know she’s the person I need to calm me down. She wraps her arms around me delicately and then holds me tightly as I start sobbing again.

- Shh, it’ll be okay. It’s painful, I know, but you needed to know everything.

- They’ve ruined my life. They’ve... I don’t even know what I should be angry about!

I’m gasping. It’s hard to breathe against her neck, but I don’t want to pull away. She caresses my hair and kisses me tenderly.

- Don’t say that. Look how far you’ve come thanks to them... They might have made life difficult for you, but without them, you wouldn’t be as strong.

- Strong? D-do you think I’m strong right now?

- Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, baby... Everyone reacts differently. Right now, it’s a sign of accumulation.

- S-stop, please. D-don’t think I’m an idiot. And don’t defend them. I feel like I’m worthless. Like a damned kid who...

- You’re none of that, my love. Without them, you wouldn’t be the woman you are today. You’d never have learned to fend for yourself. You wouldn’t understand how essential moral values are, how to communicate, or how important family is... Just look at your sister.

I continue to cry, but I listen to her carefully. I can only find some truth in her words. My sister has always been an exception. She’s innocent. I will always put her before the rest of my family.

- You wouldn’t be as smart, as good at mediating with your loved ones...

I start to calm down, recognizing all the qualities I possess that I hadn’t realized before. It’s so much easier to see them in others.

- Without them, we’d never have met. Without them, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with such a wonderful woman... And I could go on and on about all the reasons they made their daughter so fantastic, despite their questionable choices.

I’ve stopped crying since she told me she loves me. I still have trouble breathing, but I’m starting to regain my composure and my senses.

- Without them, you wouldn’t be who you are now, darling...

- Y-you can never help yourself, can you?

She laughs softly. She knows she’s managed to calm me down. I’ll never understand how she does it. She knows me so well. I would have turned this room upside down if she hadn’t followed me. I let go as she kisses my forehead. I’m simply exhausted.

- No, she whispers. I don’t like seeing you like this, and it’s my duty to remind you how fantastic you are. You tend to forget it...

- And what about this wedding? I don’t even want to go after all this.

She sighs softly, brushing away a few hairs that had stuck to my tears on my cheeks.

- Don’t say that now. You’re speaking out of anger. Come on, lie down.

I let her guide me as she pleases. I no longer feel capable of thinking or acting. I lie down first, and she slides in behind me, wrapping me in her arms. My body relaxes completely with this contact. It’s hard to believe I pushed her away when she arrived. Now, I wouldn’t want her to leave for anything.

- I’m sorry, I murmur.

- For what reason?

I shrug as she kisses my collarbone while stroking my stomach. Her touch makes me feel safe. She makes me forget everything.

- For not being able to control myself.

She chuckles softly as she slides her hand under my shirt. It seems I’m not the only one who enjoys our skin-to-skin contact.

- No one would be able to control themselves in these circumstances. You handled it very well, my love. We don’t have to come down before we leave. You need to calm down; your heart is still racing.

As if to show me, she places her hand flat just above my chest. A shiver runs through me as this gesture lifts my shirt, but I don’t complain.

- Rest. We’ll grab something to eat on the way to the airport.

I nod and eventually turn to face her. I definitely wouldn’t be anything without her. My eyes are growing heavy. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep well if I try now. My mind will be too busy.

- Why do I feel like the world is against me? I murmur, idly playing with a strand of her hair. Do I never get a bit of happiness?

- Am I not your happiness?

She has a hint of amusement. She managed to make me laugh. I lift my head towards her. She smiles at me, running her fingers through my hair in return. I must look awful, but I don’t have time to think as I’m enveloped by her soft lips. She’s definitely my happiness.

- Your mother just answered all the questions you had. Don’t be angry with her again. You were starting to move forward.

- You know, sometimes I think that without me on this earth, everything could have been different between them.

- Don’t say that. I think their story would have ended the same way regardless.

- You think...?

- I do, yes. Your mom may have had you sooner than she wanted, which complicated your relationship... But her professional passion wouldn’t have changed their relationship.

- Do you understand why I don’t want to accept this offer in Portland?

- Given the environment you grew up in, yes. I’m sorry I encouraged you to go there when you didn’t want to. I’m glad you decided to prioritize our relationship, but I hope it won’t be detrimental to you.

- I don’t care, I murmur, resting my head against her chest. I’m not going to abandon the only person who loves me.

- Your parents love you too, Ona.

- Yeah, right, I scoff. Neither of them knew how to trust me.

Your mom has acknowledged her mistake, and I think even before that, she cared a lot about you.

- You’re the only one who thinks that...

- She took care of you when you came back, after Feli. I know, because we talked a bit about it yesterday, before you went downstairs... She cared a lot about you, and she thanked me for finally getting you out of there...

- She cares a lot about you, I murmured.

- And it’s only because I bring you good. She’s happy there’s finally someone who values you for who you are. She regrets never taking the time to get to know you. She’s trying to make up for it now.

- I know, I sighed. It’s hard for me to accept.

- But you want to, don’t you? I know you would have loved to have a connection with her. That’s why you care so much about her taking care of Joan. You don’t want your sister to go through the same thing you did.

- Why are you asking me? You know me better than I know myself. It’s just complicated.

- You appreciated that she took care of you, but you started hating her again when she forced you to go to school...

She understood what was wrong without me needing to say anything. She really knows me better than I know myself. It’s frustrating sometimes. She understood that it was the first time my mother really cared about me and that everything fell apart when I had to leave. I didn’t understand why she had distanced herself from me by sending me to Camp Wiegman. I thought she wanted to get rid of me like a pesky stone in her shoe. It hit me hard. I felt worthless and became resentful towards her, even though I was already very resentful towards the whole world. I even sent Mapi back to her apartment a few days before I left. I felt pushed away when I needed support the most. This decision further strained our relationship. All this was before I discovered the effects of that school.

- She cares about you, Ona. You might not have agreed with all her choices, but she’s done everything she can to make up for it by helping you these past few years. Here you are, getting back on track with a chance for the future, thanks to her.

- Do you really think she cares about me?

- Of course. The first time I saw her, she was all flustered because you were disfigured... Then she seemed happy when she figured us out... I think she was glad to finally discover something about you for herself. She must have felt like she finally knew you.

- Do you think I caused all these problems?

She sighs softly. Her fingers, which had been playing with my hair, stopped for a fraction of a second.

- No, she whispers. Don’t feel guilty, baby. There’s no blame. It’s just a series of situations that brought you to this point. It’s unfortunate, but you were certainly right when you mentioned “misunderstandings” earlier. There was no communication between you.

I prop myself up on my elbows to see her.

- Promise me that our life won’t be like this.

- It won’t be.

- You sound way too confident...

- It’s because I am. You won’t make the same mistakes. Do you think it’s trivial that I’m forcing you to talk to me? You’ve too often kept things inside. It’s time for you to learn to open up. You don’t always have to keep everything to yourself.

- You’re right... So... There will never be any secrets between us. Is that okay?

- That’s okay, she giggles.

- What? Why are you laughing?

- Nothing. There have simply never been any...

I laugh as well, lying back down on her. She’s right. It’s the first time I feel so understood, and it feels good.

- Do you think we should go to this wedding?

A small mocking breath makes her chest vibrate. I lift my head to try to see her, but it’s difficult in this position.

- It would be silly not to go, wouldn’t it...? If she wanted to talk to you, it’s because she wanted you there.

- I didn’t even give them a chance to speak...

- Don’t worry. She should understand. Rest now. We’ll have plenty of time to ask her about the details of the event.

I sigh softly and close my eyes easily. It was emotionally intense, but in a way, I now feel at peace.

[askinkiskarma]

Okay bestie !! I have another one hehe :P

Imagine Neteyam and Mate who made a deal because they fought for some reason. This leading to the fact that they can't stand eachother so they figure out that they shouldn't have seggs* until one of them loses (y'know because it's in these moments that they are the closer and they just wanna see whose the "weakest").

So there would be this permanent tension and quite of teasing. And the stubbornness the two of them are would refuse to lose this stupid bet even though the desire is damn high... lol

I don't know if it made sense. But it's funny and I am sure you'll make an amazing oneshot out of this (If you decide to write it).

Yeah that's it lovely 💕 muah

Oh and I don't know if you would do these emoji anon things 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I just leave mine here in case hihi 🍨

Hi bestie, sorry for taking me so long, but better late than never i hope x

of course you can be my 🍨 anon!!

wc: 895 words

minors DNI!!!

The tensions in your and your mate's tent were running high, so high you felt they were about to ascend too far up and run orbits around Pandora and come back to you in just a couple minutes. You were both calm people, you thought. You were rational, and tried to solve your issues with logic and empathy. You always listened to each other's point of view and always adjusted yours if it was necessary. Your relationship was the epitome of a healthy, adult relationship and yet, here you were, giving each other dirty looks and silent treatments, for the second day in a row.

"Well, if you're gonna be such an asshole about it, don't even think about make-up sex, or angry sex, or any sort of sex. There will be a lot of apologising that needs to happen before I even consider it again."

"What makes you think I want to have sex with you? You should be the one apologising, you're in the wrong. Also, I'd like to see you try to keep your insatiable little hands away from me. You're a fiend."

"Ha! That's a good one. I bet you're going to come crawling by the end of today."

"Fine. I'll see your bet and raise you one. Whoever caves first gets to be the one to tell Kiri we used all of her very valuable oil she spent months collecting as massage oil so we can role-play."

You watched annoyedly as Neteyam was getting dressed in a new loincloth that hung so damn attractively off his hips, it was making your mouth water. He picked up an intricate, embellished neck piece, one of his favourites (that you made him) and you smirked when he struggled to tighten it around his neck. You made your way to him slowly, enjoying every moment he was struggling, picturing his pout as he knew he needed your help, but was too stubborn to ask, almost as if you were looking straight at it.

You made it a point to drag your fingers up his back gently, slowly, in barely-there touches that you knew he was crazed for, until your hands found his necklace. You felt the small shudder escape him and your smirked widened, almost able to taste the sweet nectar of victory on your tongue.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Your smirk was promptly erased off your face as he turned, and his eyes, dark and mischievous, glistened with so much arousal, so much ache, it was making you wet just taking it all in, and the man didn't even touch you yet. He was right, you were a fiend. His hand raised to brush your face, and he lowered his head to capture your lips in a kiss, gentle and innocent, that you fought with every fibre of your being to keep that way. It was his turn to grin as he heard your panted breaths loudly in his ears, and he pulled away and left the tent without another word, leaving you desperate and needy.

This continued for days, and by the end of the 5th day, you were both so fucking horny you weren't seeing straight anymore. This was your own personal hell, you concluded. And yet, somehow hell had nothing on the mere thought of letting him win, of proving to him you were weaker than him, of telling Kiri what lewd, unsavoury things you used her precious oil on.

Neteyam's mind was spinning with ache. You were good at this. Too good. He saw you getting dressed, purposefully taking your time, running your hands over your breasts, flickering your nipples almost as if it was an accident, trailing your fingers over your waist and groping your ass to check that your loincloth is tightened properly around your tail. It wasn't, as when you bent over, you gave him a full view of your soaked, dripping cunt as you wrapped beautiful, beaded ankle bracelets on both your ankles. The smell of your arousal hit him like a fucking ton of bricks and he started palming his cock to release some of the painful pressure he has felt for days now. It turns out working and being a productive member of society with a constant erection was harder than Neteyam had anticipated when he made the bet - pun intended.

Fuck this.

You could hear Neteyam. Hear his heaving chest as his eyes landed on you, hear the way he was exhaling through his nose a lot more forcefully than he had just a few seconds ago. You could feel the air in the tent changing, charging, becoming thick with need and anticipation. You knew you won, but you still gasped in shock at the hand that wrapped around your queue and hair, pulling your head backwards, and at the feel of Neteyam's hard cock prodding at your sopping entrance.

"You're not playing fair, yawne. And if I have to crawl on my knees and beg for forgiveness just to feel your pussy milking me dry, I'll do it over and over again. So you win. But you might regret it tomorrow when you're limping on the way to the next mission."

You moaned and smiled at the threat. You couldn't wait.

"Don't leave out any details when you talk to your sister. I want to see you suffer."