#which got me thinking about how the love triangles i like are very different from the typical ya approach

[fictionadventurer]

Maybe love triangles work better in classic books because, well first off, because sex isn't really mentioned. Most people's complaint about YA love triangles is that it devolves into "I can't decide which one is hotter." Physical attraction is an element of romance in classic literature, but it's rarely the only one, and you're not going to have the same kind of in-depth descriptions of how standing near a guy causes heat or tingling sensations or whatever. Physical attraction in classic literature is more about what draws someone to another person, while the YA approach is more often about the feelings the other person causes within you, which makes the YA approach feel much more self-centered.

But I also think the different approaches to courtship may be a factor. The other big reason people hate YA love triangles is because the girl is "stringing along" two guys and "not making up her mind." This seems to be tied to assumptions of dating culture--even in the exploration stage when a girl isn't thinking about lifelong commitments, she needs to be in an exclusive relationship, otherwise she's being emotionally unfaithful. (And if she's kissing two separate boys, she's straight-up cheating).

In a lot of classic literature, the relationship only becomes exclusive during the engagement. Before that, the woman is just living her life, meeting men who could be romantic options, but not necessarily pursuing any individual one. She does have to be careful so guys don't interpret her behaviors as romantic interest, because it doesn't take much to be seen as flirtatious and "drawing men in". But she can still be around multiple men and getting to know them without it necessarily feeling like she's "stringing them along". (And she's not likely to be kissing these guys the way a modern YA heroine would). This gives her more opportunity to slowly get to know these guys without being pressured to choose just one at this early stage.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

MOOOREE SHAPES!!!!!!!!!

Since the last one was so fun I thought I would do another!

ASL shapes post

I’m begging and pleading you to look at Keep Reading 👇

Shape language is defined as “a concept used in art and animation to communicate meaning based on shapes we are familiar with” (source). This concept uses circles, triangles, and squares to convey an idea of the “personality” of the design without using any words.

In designs, using circles and rounded edges in your silhouette and detailing gives the design a soft and squishy look. They tend to be harmless, approachable, or changeable.

Designs using squares gives the design a solid, sturdy, and strong look. They are supportive, reliable, and inflexible

Lastly, triangle designs are sharp and directional. They are dynamic, dangerous, and unpredictable.

Here are the main silhouettes I used! I'll just go down the list here since theres so many of them

(edit from me after writing all of this down: ✨Drinking game!✨ take a shot everytime i say either square or rectangle. You'll be dead by the end. Anyway, enjoy!)

⚔️: Even in his base design, Zoro is essentially a giant rectangle. He's stable, reliable, and supportive. but even though he is all that, i think he definately deserves some triangle imagry so i tried to squeak one in there.

🍊:Nami is her own breed of triangle. She's not unpredictable, per say,, just very very hostile. and I love her for that. but she is also very reliable, she has to be for her job. So i award her 2 triangles and a square

🌱: you may notice a trend by now that everyone has a square. that's because every one of the straw hats are all hella reliable, and thats not excluding Usopp. Even though he feels like he's not cut out for the awful situations he's often in, he somehow always squeezes by victorious. But also, he is friend shaped. so he gets 2 circles and a square.

🍳: Similarly to Zoro, Sanji is also just a gigantic square. His torso is the main box, but his les are always in a position of stability, closely resembling a square. But also, his head is soft and round, portraying his kindness. As such i award him with two squares and a box-y circle.

🩺: just.. i mean just look at any picture of base chopper. HES JUST A GIANT CIRCLE. He got a big ol' noggin, a round body, and two little stick legs. he deserves a square though, so I gave him a square for his feets.

🔎: Robin has the same shape layout as Sanji. She is also very reliable and very kind. where she differs though is that she still has so much mystery to her, that i still tried to incorporate triangles as smaller details in her design. Two rectangles, a circle, and many small triangles. She has the range.

🛠️:Franky is a gigantic square with almost no non-square angles to him. he has his shoulders, his glasses, and his crotch that are not quadrilateral and of course that signifies how reliable and stable he is. Cant knock this cat over. he gets 3 squares.

🎸: Brook was a bit hard to pick which shape would be his majority, so I didn't. He got all of them. He's polite and kind, but also mischievous and full of surprises. And of course. Square attributes. one square one circle and one triangle.

🌊: For Jinbe, I... yes, the guy is a gigantic square, but also he's just kinda always doin shit that I don't expect him to do, so i think he also deserves a triangle. I dont know how i would add a third shape in him since his gigantic square body takes up the majority of his figure, so i just used two. One square, and one triangle.

And that just about covers all of them! if you read all this, thank you so much for listening to my ramblings!

[befemininenow]

Are you a trans girl or non-conforming and would like to try out feminine clothing? You may want to check this out.

Say you found this dress online and you really love the overall style of it. Great! If you’re like me, you would say “F it! I’ll buy the dress and I’ll wear it how I like!” and move on with your life. That should the end of this guide, right? Except, there is one little problem: not everybody thinks this way. Those who look for the best matching outfits aren’t just searching to fit their style, color, or personality. It also has to do with their body type. If you’re in that situation, this guide may help you out.

Body shape

Believe it or not, there are many different types of body shape (up to 10). However, the most common tend to be the following (in no order):

Rectangle- Even distribution on shoulders, hips, and waistline

Pear/Triangle- Wide hips, well-defined waist, small shoulders

Hourglass- Near-exact hip and shoulder measurements, thinner waistline

Inverted Triangle- Broader shoulders, narrower hips, little waist definition

Apple/Round- Broad shoulders and big bust, thin legs and hips

Many transgender women have the inverted triangle body shape due to several factors such as genetics, bone structure, and age. However, your body shape may also change over time due to a rebalancing of hormones, body fat, and even lifestyle. While you can’t change your bone structure, you can change your body definition through exercises.

Body proportion

Here is something you may find useful if you’re looking to customize your look. Body proportions are unique to every individual and play a factor on clothing and to some extent, accessories such as jewelry. For instance, you may find the skirt you bought looks either too long or short. There are a few areas where to measure your body proportions such as wrist length or neck size. But the best way to improve your dress type is by following the “golden ratio rule” of dividing your body into three:

The way this is read is you’re either one-third top, two-thirds bottom, or you’re two-thirds top, one-third bottom. Once you get more knowledge, you can go upwards even eighths! But for now, the focus is on these two outcomes.

The two-thirds top, one-third bottom words well with long dresses:

while the one-third top, two-thirds bottom works well with more casual clothing:

Body measurements

Now that we got a few problems out of our way, it’s time to figure out what measurements you have. The best way to find out is by using a mirror and a soft measuring tape for body. Measure all the crucial parts of your body, which are the waist, hips, shoulders, and bust. This will determine the type of body you have and have a better idea on what length you will need to try out your clothing of choice.

Shoe size

One thing very important about an outfit is choosing footwear. Although you can use your old Converses with your flared jeans, you’re certainly not going to use them with a ruffled dress. You’re definitely going to want heels or flats! Unfortunately, women’s shoe size are not exactly the same as men. But don’t give up! Fortunately, there are women’s size conversion charts that help you choose what shoe size you need.

To find out your measurements on your own, grab at least two blank pieces of paper, a pencil or pen, and a measuring tape. Place your foot firmly forward and carefully trace around the outer area of your foot. Repeat this with your other foot. Once finished, grab your measuring tape and measure from your highest point to your lowest on both sheets. Measure the width as well. If both feet measure close to 10.5, your women’s size is a 12. However, due to a difference in manufacturing based on shoe brand, as well as shoe type like pumps, the average recommended size is at least 2 inches above your actual size. For those living in other countries that don’t use the US measuring size, I left a chart that shows all the possible measurements you may use to convert your shoe size into women’s size.

What to wear based on body type

Since not all clothing is made for everyone, it’s time to list what is considered the “ideal” clothing choices based on body type. Note that these are opinions from my source’s authors. IMO, the pictures below each suggestion are a better opinion. Your are free to choose your type of clothing.

Rounded or apple shapes fit best with monochrome colors and make the person look more “fit”.

Pear or triangle shapes look more balanced with decorative accessories on top while keeping the bottom more plain.

Rectangle shapes tend to have more volume with a waist belt while pleated pants give more volume on hips.

Hourglass shapes look best when wearing bodycon dresses and cardigans to emphasize volume in their waistline.

Inverted triangle shapes pull off the wide leg pants and fitted top combo the best.

For a much more comprehensive guide for each body type, I highly recommend reading The Concept Wardrobe’s guides. It gives more details on what to wear and how to choose the best combinations. Link is provided here: https://theconceptwardrobe.com/search?query=body+frame

Tips on what to wear

Now that you reached this point, I’m pretty sure you’re excited to try out what your heart desires. However, before you go out and buy that two-piece dress, I recommend researching and observing the type of clothing women wear today. Believe it or not, people will judge based on your way of dressing, from background to social status to age. A simple look like bodysuit and jeans may look perfect on you and blend you in with the girls, but something like a hot pink bodycon will make you stand out, and most likely not in a good way. So how would you choose something that blends you in with society, but also be comfortable at the same time? Here are some tips and pics:

Find clothing that “feels” feminine. In other words, buy clothing that “feminizes” your body, such as tops that make your shoulders look shorter, wrap dresses that make your waistline shorter, and skirts that make your hips look wider.

Find the best colors based on skin tone and hair color. For instance, try out warm colors such as orange if your skin tone is warm.

Dress sexy, but never go too revealing. Seriously, have some respect to yourself. But if you really want to go out wearing, for example, a two-piece outfit, wear one that looks stylish and flatters your body in a great way.

Use accessories that fit and blend well with your body. Large jewelry goes well with larger frame, small jewelry fits with smaller wrist, and so forth. Don’t forget the purse! It is absolutely necessary now that you’re wearing pocketless clothing. Choose one that fits your taste and needs.

Bras and undergarments are necessary to wear now. As you further into your transition, your breasts will start growing and it will become more difficult and uncomfortable going out braless. Start out with a brassiere, then move on to a fitted bra as they become bigger over time. As for down there, I would use boy briefs as they’re similar to boxers. Although HRT will cause it to shrink, it does not make it disappear. If you must hide it, use a gaff or a tuck, but do not use chastity belts (Seriously, stay away from that unless you’re really into that thing). 

Optional: use waist shapers or corsets to slim down waist. Hip enlargement pads will also give your narrow hips and butt much needed volume. Breast forms can also give you an idea how big you want them in the future.

Fashion sense

But the most important part of choosing clothing as a trans girl is to wear whatever suits your taste.

For instance, are you more into the traditional and simple feminine aesthetic? Cottagecore may be for you:

But what if you’re the rebellious type that prefers to defy tradition? Well, maybe the alt-girl fashion is for you:

Maybe you’re the type that changes clothing based on season. So if you’re a summer-season type of girl, you’re definitely going for an outfit like this:

How about if you’re into the gym? Clearly your goal is to be like this:

Are you into business casual? There’s also a pic for that:

(The girl in the pic is also transgender! Her name is Suzi Hunter, better known as The Sphere Hunter.)

But we also can’t forget cosplay, either!:

(Cosplayer is Eden the Doll, a trans woman cosplayer! Picture belongs to Geo Leon.)

You’re probably the party type who loves some action:

Casual wear can also be tasteful and attractive too:

There’s so much to pic, but each style says a lot about what type of woman you are.

Where to buy clothing

If you’re interested in finding the right clothes for you, check out places that are especially gender-inclusive. As I’m based in the US, clothing stores such as Target are a good start while higher-end chains such as Nordstrom and Macy’s may have a better variety to choose from. If you’re a thrifty shopper, your local outlets, discount stores, and thrift shops have a surprising amount of great clothing for affordable prices. Although online sites like Amazon, Shein, and Zara have affordable and appealing clothing, many of these brands also have ethical concerns that overshadow their reputation. Dubbed “fast fashion”, they are a source of scrutiny among fashion fans and I would personally avoid them if possible. If you really need something affordable and new, I highly recommend purchasing through discount and thrift stores.

If you’re in need of safe undergarments, check out Urbody. They have clothing suitable for trans people, non-binary, and other identities, varying from binders to tucked leggings. They are founded by trans and non-binary people and use ethical practices and living wages for their workers. If you’re interested in checking their site out, here is the link to their page (I am not sponsored by them): https://urbody.co/

Conclusion

The whole point of this guide is to help you pick the proper clothing and accessories as a newly-out girl. I made this guide since there doesn’t seem to be many that are detailed. Keep in mind I’m still learning about female clothing as I am still in the first stages of transition myself. If anyone would like to add more info that is missing or provide any corrections, please reblog and add more helpful tips as it would help trans girls, trans women, non-binary, and anyone else that desires to wear affirming clothing. Please refrain from using any hurtful language if you’re doing so. Thank you and hugs!

Links to sources:

https://www.healthline.com/health/women-body-shapes#why-shape-fluctuates

https://www.thestylatude.com/post/the-most-common-body-shapes-for-women-and-how-to-find-out-yours

https://theconceptwardrobe.com/build-a-wardrobe/inverted-triangle-body-shape

https://www.thestylebouquet.com/2020/02/17/5-most-common-body-shapes-for-women/

https://dressedformyday.com/how-to-discover-your-body-proportions/

https://gabriellearruda.com/how-to-dress-better-female-body-shape/

https://m2fguide.com/how-to-pick-clothes-if-youre-transgender-or-crossdressing/

https://feminizationsecrets.com/mtf-clothing-tips/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHBk9v0J_WO/

https://www.transgendermap.com/social/clothing-accessories/

https://apexfoot.com/shoe-sizing-chart/

https://www.glamourboutique.com/crossdresser-fashion/guide-male-female-shoe-sizes-33255#:~:text=Minimize%20the%20chance%20of%20having,11%20in%20a%20women's%20shoe

[lilislegacy]

an analysis: piper calling percy unimpressive

(warning: i wrote this at 1 am)

so basically

remember how we all despised piper mclean when she had the audacity to call our beloved percy “unimpressive” and we all lost our shit on the inside a little bit?

i truly don’t think she meant it in the way we think she did. i think we’re all just defensive of our boy.

piper clearly states that she is comparing percy to jason. first of all, jason is her boyfriend, so of course she’s biased. second of all, hera was manipulating piper to be obsessed with jason. so other guys and girls are automatically unimpressive to her.

and here’s the big thing: piper does not call him unattractive. she does not call him ugly. she simply says he’s not her type. piper is clearly attracted to the “good boy” look. jason is literally your all-american boy. he’s tall with light skin, a sturdy build, neat blonde hair, and blue eyes. part of why annabeth doesn’t trust him is because she is unsettled by his “perfect” appearance. jason is also obedient and well-mannered. he’s your standard good boy.

and the fact of the matter is: percy looks like a “bad boy”. and often, he acts like one too. him and jason are contrasts of each other. a symbolic representation of this: their features. percy has a darker complexion, messy black hair, unique green eyes, and a “sarcastic troublemaker smile.” he’s muscular, but in a leaner and more trim way. he’s tall, but he’s not a towering muscleman by any means. not that jason is either, but don’t forget, percy is a whole one. inch. (GASP) shorter than jason (which to me isn’t even noticeable, so her pointing it out as a flaw just proves that she’s so incredibly biased towards jason.) their other big contrasting feature: their personalities. jason is respectful and well-mannered. very obedient and under control. percy, however, makes jokes during inappropriate moments, talks back to people of power and authority, gets angry quickly, and loses control easily. i mean, literally right after she says this, percy starts insulting the roman god Bacchus and rapidly escalates a situation because of his natural instinct to be disobedient. piper is horrified by him doing this, especially because jason would never. does it make US all love percy very much? yes. but piper isn’t us.

THAT SAID, even she can’t actually call him unattractive. she even went as far to state that she can see why annabeth likes him, which means even her magically-obsessed-with-jason brain can still recognize his attractiveness and see why girls find him appealing. she calls him “cute in a scruffy way,” meaning she thinks that he’s got a disheveled attractiveness to him. she also once said that his pleading eyes are like a cute baby seal’s - even she can’t deny that his eyes are wonderful. so even though piper calls him unimpressive, i think rick put in a lot of clues here showing us that she acknowledges him as a conventionally attractive person, even if she’s not personally attracted to him.

let’s sum it up, shall we?

what does it say about percy? absolutely nothing. piper calling percy unimpressive is an inaccurate and unreliable source when it comes to analyzing percy’s physical appearance, especially if you don’t consider the context. this was rick’s way of showing piper’s clear preference towards jason, just like annabeth has a clear preference towards percy. and even though she said this, rick also made her give us several hints that percy is handsome, just not in a way she’s inclined towards. rick wanted love triangles to be completely out of the question with these 4. he wanted to make it very clear that annabeth had no interest in jason, and that piper had no interest in percy. so since piper is so drawn towards jason, percy had to be very different from him in her eyes.

jason is your a superman, percy is your batman

jason is your captain america, percy is your iron man. some even say spider man.

so put yourself in piper’s shoes: after hearing percy jackson’s name non-stop for 6 months, hearing him compared to jason, hearing of all his accomplishments and how heroic he is - i mean, the guy was literally honored on olympus and offered godhood - she was expecting a stereotypical good-boy hero. a hercules. a superman. your standard muscular blinding-white-teeth-smile hunk. the conventional, well-mannered good boy. and instead she got a wild and untamed, trouble-making bad boy. percy has an edge to him. he’s intimidating and unpredictable. he’s sarcastic and witty. he just looks like he’s up to no good. she wasn’t expecting any of that. that’s not what we’re taught a hero is supposed to be like or look like.

jason is appealing in a “he’d be a respectable and sturdy husband” way.

percy is appealing in a “he’s gonna fuck up my life but i so badly want him to” kind of way. (even though once you get to know him, you see he’s literally the world’s best boyfriend. piper even gets jealous of how loving he is towards annabeth.)

she had this exact idea of what he would be, and he wasn’t that. hence her calling him “unimpressive.” but it says nothing about his attractiveness.

i rest my case, your honor.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

disclaimer: i am not saying percy is actually a bad boy or a bad guy. he is a sweetheart. he has the biggest heart ever. he’s a cute little cinnamon roll. i am simply talking of first impressions from outsiders, and how he appears if you don’t know him.

[silly-writes]

What if reader was an old childhood friend of some of the competitors (ie Courtney, gwen, bridgette, Heather, duncan, Izzy, cody, etc) with said character(s) having strong feelings for before reader moved away just to come back into their life during one season with reader initially unaware of these returning feelings in said camper.

Bonus: What if reader/camper did get together in that one season, only for next season to have a love triangle form involving another character. The camper is aware of said triangle forming though reader might be oblivious due to now having eyes only for first camper. What'd this be like for different people?

Compretitors with returning feelings for childhood best friend reader!

u guys r really feeding me with these prompts I can't even lie this one was a little tricky with all these moving parts! Sorry if some of these are a little angsty and don't really have happy (per say) conclusions, but I'm just doing what I think best fits the character! I only write pure fluff if that what im given. I hope you enjoy anyways anon!

Courtney

Courtney is beyond stricken when she sees you.

What are the odds you both would have signed up for the same shitty reality tv show?

Well, high as Courtney would tell you. You always were very similar even back when you were inseparable as children.

You knew Courtney was always very fond of you before you moved away, so the reunion is very sweet, and heartfelt.

The two of you attempt to spend a lot of time catching up on what you missed out on after you had moved, but on the show there isn't much time for it.

Courtney can't help but think about how absolutely heartbroken she was when you moved away.

I would think with Courtney's determined attitude (plus based on what she says to Gwen during their friendship) she has made too many friends.

So when you moved away, especially since she was little, it sort of felt like the end of the world to her.

I imagine you being around is wildly distracting for her. Despite her returning romantic feelings.

You were the only person who ever had that type of close vulnerable relationship with her, she would do anything to please you, receive attention from you, or keep you in the game.

All of it leads to some very undesirable slip ups from her, which with you is how I imagine she goes home on the island.

She watched you as she got pulled away, she's not going to leave it unsaid this time, she remembers what that feels like, she remembers how isolating and awful it feels.

"I'm going to miss you ______!" She called out to you from the end of the doc of shame.

You waved wildly "I'm going to win this for you Courtney!" You call back.

"No- I mean! I'm going to miss you because I'm in love with you!"

You stand there stunned as she boards the boat and calls out one final thing "You had bet your butt you'll win this for me! I just confessed my love to you on live television!"

You try to call back that you feel the same, but Chris does what Chris does best and gets in the way of a good time. Even if the boat hadn't driven her off before you got the chance to confess back, the motor is loud enough to where she probably couldn't hear you anyways.

By action, you two have fully discussed your feelings, and how everything should go now that you're into each other but still competitors.

You both agree that your first real official date should be after the show is over, so while things aren't technically official by next season, you two are undoubtedly interested in each other and therefore not getting involved with anyone else.

You stick true to that, but Courtney can see Duncan keeps looking at you, and she's not stupid, she would know that punks gazes in and out.

She doesn't bring it up to you, she knows you're generally very dense about those kinds of things.

But eventually, she can't take it anymore and her jealousy starts driving her mad.

She declares that you two are official, and that you very much are dating, which causes some tension between the two of you during action since you both agreed it just wasn't a good idea.

After some fighting, fighting, and more fighting eventually it's you this time taking the walk of shame to the lame-ousine.

Courtney fights her way to you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to play out this way!" She says sorrowfully.

But you did, you know just how Courtney is, you know how she gets, and while you didn't fully understand why she did what she did you could've guessed that some kind of fight was inevitable. Plus you know how she gets during competitions.

"Hey don't sweat it," you smile "now that I'm not technically on the show, I don't have as much of a problem doing this-" you say and bring her in for a short and sweet kiss.

After years of waiting for this moment, Coutney can't help but freeze up.

You pull away, and head towards the lame-ousine as she calls "I'll win this for you!"

"You had better win this for me! I just kissed you on live television!" You say smiling as you duck into the back seat.

Gwen

Gwen feels nothing but nervous when reuniting with you.

She was happy to see you sure, but her anxiety held her back in how she displayed that happiness.

She's mainly worried that too much time has passed since the two of you knew each other, and that the two of you won't have anything to talk about anymore.

Eventually the two of you slump back together and things go back to the way that they were before you had moved away.

Another reason she was desperately trying to avoid you at first is because of the huge massive crush she used to have on you.

And dang it of course you had to get cuter as you got older!

Just as she realizes that those feelings for you are slipping out of hiding, is also when she realizes that it's already too late.

Once again the two of you are glued at the hip, just like how it used to be.

You, being who you are and were, are wildly oblivious to these feelings because of course you are.

Gwen isn't one to wear her heart on her sleeve, and even though you two are close she is less so with you, she's been burned before, she's not letting that happen again.

The two of you are sitting next to each other at the talent show when it happens.

Heather goes up on stage and says "Originally I was going to dance for you, but instead I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration" She holds up a dark notebook with an evil look plastered on her face.

Gwen seems to recognize it and instantly freezes up "Gwen? Are you okay?" You asked, knowing immediately something was off.

"She wouldn't," she says, and then braces herself.

"So with words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy."

She cleared her throat before beginning "Okay so I've been trying to ignore them. But they're just so cute! I know it's been forever since we've seen each other and in that time they have gotten so hot! Out of all my childhood friends, of course it had to be them."

Gwen dashes away from the bleachers, and Heather seems satisfied.

Of course you run after Gwen to comfort her.

She lamented on and on about how you must think she's such a creep now, and was acting like a total school girl, still writing in a diary.

But of course you didn't feel like that at all, this was Gwen you were talking about here. The cool, collected, funny quiet girl, and you were obsessed with her.

You two start getting a little more romantic after that, and Heather seeing her plan to drive a wedge between the two of you did not work realizes she has to get her hands messy and plays a little bit more of a direct role in getting you eliminated.

It's a sorrowful goodbye until you see her again in action.

Bridgette

Reuniting with Bridgette is nothing but vibes.

She's beyond stoked to see you again, and even more stoked to ride the wave with you again.

I imagine the two of you met at the beach, and it was love at first sight for her.

You two click all over again like no time has gone past, and she fills you in on every little thing you've missed.

Things are super cut and dry with Bridgette, no mess, nothing but chillness.

She makes her feelings pretty clear, with some hints and stuff.

She learned her lesson the first time, letting you leave without having ever told you how she really felt hurt in ways she wasn't ready to feel again.

But if you don't pick up on it she'll just flat out tell you.

"I'm not doing this cause you're my team mate, I'm doing it cause I like you. You dork."

"I like you too Bridge, you know that."

"Not like that-!" She exclaimed, splashing you playfully, rocking the canoe as she did "-like like like you."

You stare at her in disbelief for a moment.

"what?!" you exclaim.

"Do you not feel the same?" She frowned.

"No I do... I just wasn't expecting-" she cuts you off tackling you rocking the whole boat as she does.

The rest is history and you two are pretty much inseparable from that point onward.

Up until World Tour, where Alejandro starts becoming a plane wide problem.

He tries targeting you at first, but youre so in love with Bridgette he can't get any headway.

But Bridgette being stuck on an opposing team leaves her exposed to his manipulation, he lies about you and makes her question her loyalty.

After she gets stuck to a pole, you find her, but when she explains what happened you just feel so hurt and betrayed that you leave her in the dust (or well, snow).

After a world tour it takes a lot of apologizing and healing to get over what happened between the two of you but you're both determined to make it work so you both put your strongest foot forward and work at it.

Heather

Heather is absolutely stunned when she sees you.

You greet her excitedly when she hits you with a "hello? Earth to nerd, I don't know you!"

That's enough to keep you away from her for a while.

She 100% is only pretending not to know who you are, but what choice did she have? She couldn't risk her feelings for you returning and ruining her chances at winning.

Close tender friendships like you used to have were bad for her image now, she had an impression to keep in this competition and she'd be dead in the ground before she let you or anyone else come in the way of that.

Her tenderness for you starts to show through and through though, you know her like the back of your hand, still, even after all these years.

You'd recognize those glances anywhere, and you knew it meant more than just being a strong team mate when she would point out all the ways in which you did well in the challenges. She was trying to keep you in the game.

The two of you never have any heart to hearts, nothing like that anyways.

She never reveals that she does remember you, not even as you watch her fade into the horizon on the boat of losers.

World tour she's more determined than ever, you've never seen her so deranged to win.

I'd imagine the love triangle would have more to do with her and Alejandro then you and anyone else.

She becomes torn between the two of you, and the inherit struggle in trying to pick over someone who actually matched her wit, and her childhood best friend and longest crush.

She makes her decision when she inevitably votes you out.

"Heather... you voted for me?" You asked, heart breaking, eyes already feeling wet.

She scoffs, "Don't take it so personally."

You sniffle a little bit, and then shake your head "I should've known better than to fall for your two faced snake self twice." You spit.

And with that you're gone.

She's not stupid, she's not forgetful either, and you knew that she knew just what "twice" really meant.

But she'd dug her grave now, she would just have to hope it could hold a million bucks.

Duncan

The meeting with him is very awkward I'd imagine.

He'd likely pretend not to know you until he can get a moment alone with you.

I would imagine he's largely embarrassed of your relationship due to the fact that he met you before his Juvie days, and you were one of the only people who had known him before he became nothing more than a delinquent.

So yeah, he's hell bent on making sure people don't find out about you two knowing each other.

But we all know deep down Duncan is a totally sweetie, even if it is deep, deep, deep down. His affection for you is bound to show one way or another.

Ever the observant one I'm sure it was Courtney who noticed first, marveling at how strange it was that you two of all people had romantic feelings for each other.

She urged the two of you together, subtly, attempting to be your sort of wingman, unbeknownst to even you.

Eventually Duncan works towards getting her voted out because of this, he's so obsessed with keeping his bad boy persona he'd do just about anything in this competition to keep it up. Even risk losing a million big ones.

You knew something was fishy about Courtney getting voted, but you couldn't put your finger on what. At least not until you heard him in the confessionals.

"I had to get that Courtney chick voted out, she was getting too close. I hate people who get to close,"

"Duncan!" you exclaim.

You can hear him mutter curses from the outhouse.

"Forget it! You know I can't believe I was actually starting to like you again!"

After that it's a nonstop battle for Duncan to win back your affections.

I would imagine the love triangle would consist of you, Duncan, and of course, Courtney.

She would start falling for you based on the way you shamelessly defended her despite your feelings for Duncan.

Only problem for you was those feelings hadn't exactly gone away since last season, and you were still very much into him.

You three fight a lot, and are the reason all three of you end up going home.

Which leaves nothing but time to work out your messy feelings for Duncan, and his for you.

But maybe time is really all the two of you need.

Izzy

Izzy is a bit of a wild card (obviously).

I feel like reuniting with her is just super duper chaotic, and very overwhelming at first.

She wants to fill you in on every little detail in her life within the same second she sees you again.

But you remember how to rein her in, she really hasn't changed much from the chaotic messy kid she was. (save for being a criminal now (whoops!)).

You being in the challenge with her would keep her much more rallied and motivated towards an understandable goal.

She can feel those intimate feelings creeping back, but she isn't shy with it.

I imagine she probably would've confessed to you once before, when you first moved, only neither of you wanted to try out long distance and thought it might only ruin what a good friendship you had. So through your move you decided to just stay friends.

You don't get long to sit and wonder about if those feelings still linger for her as they do for you when she abruptly asks

"So hey, are you interested in dating during the competition?" she asked, sitting beside you, anything but shy.

"What?"

Izzy was nothing if not explorative, she collected new experiences like pokemon cards, and she wanted to live fully every part of life.

"It might be a little bit messy. But I think maybe it could work, if all that was keeping you was distance the first time... well... I'm here now."

She stares at you with an expectant kind of rare almost nervous look, and though the confession is anything but picturesque, with her, it's perfect.

I think the love triangle would come in with her next season with maybe Alejandro falling for you.

Hard to say whether his attempts at flirting are due to advancing in the game, or genuine attraction. Either way you have trouble picking up on it, especially when things are going so well with Izzy.

I wouldn't say Izzy isn't a jealous person, I just think she could fall either way, depending on the person, depending on the day, the humidity in the air, basically on nothing at all. She's nothing if not erratic.

With Alejandro, she might be inclined to threaten him with her license to kill depending on her mood, and depending on what he tries to pull with you.

Cody

The reunion with Cody is one that is very heartfelt, and he instantly lights up upon seeing you.

You can see that he's fairly committed to his "too cool for school" schtick, so having any genuine connection with him might be a little tricky.

He's one person I feel like would have definitely tried to keep in contact with, it wasn't anything like every day phone calls, but the two of you had definitely spent at least some time sending letters back and forth.

So when you too meet there isn't a lot of catching up to do, only some.

He's overall very excited to see you back, and you know him enough to know that, even if he's refusing to show it.

You can feel those creeping feelings sneak up on you until the hit you smack in the face during one of the challenges.

"Cody!" you exclaimed during one of the challenges as he hit the ground hard.

"I'm fine," he lied, his voice strangled, the wind having been knocked out of him wholly.

You helped him up, and picked up a piece of paper that had tumbled out of his pocket and went bouncing a few feet.

At first you mistake it for trash, but with the way that even injured and put out Cody grabs for it, you figure it must be something good.

You were due for a little bit of teasing when you decided to open it, only to realize that it was a letter from you.

It's an old one, a really old one, perhaps even the first one you'd ever sent.

"Uhhh... how'd that get in there!?" He exclaims, swiping it out of your hands which are too stunned to fight against it.

Realization dawns on you just as quickly, there is only one reason he'd would've kept that with him after all those years.

"Oh my god Cody, you like me!"

The rest is history, and you two start dating among the challenges.

The conflict would come with Sierra I would think, who's hell bent on breaking you two apart.

All of her attempts fall flat unfortunately for her, and you two stand as one of the more healthy and strong relationships within the show.

[tonkatsubowl]

I'm craving for blade x fem reader content 🤭

I just see your request is open so~

Can I get blade x fem reader x IL dan heng

Its a love triangle

Fem reader is a astral express crew too

She is innocent, kind, gentle and elegant

Younger than astral express crew too

Lets just say, she is meet blade when he got many injured on his body, she knew that blade is a criminal but, she didn't have a heart to just leave him like that so she heal him with her power and have a few minutes of talk with blade . And boom! He feel in love with fem reader reader

About dan heng, he is already fall in love with her before blade. So, after they meet again when he is still in his IL form, he have a talk with them right? He talk with fem reader too but feel a little shy, his face is a little red, fem reader think dan heng is sick so she just put her palm on his forehead, the result is his forehead feel hot not because of sick but because of embarrased.

At night dan heng and blade accidently meet, the astral express crew is not with him, he just want to be alone for a while, but he suddenly meet blade .

And they just talking about who will steal fem reader's heart while glaring at each other

(If I can have both why just one hehehe jk)

i wrote a love triangle and maybe something similar to what you said? hopefully this is ok!

in the dead of night, you remain peacefully asleep underneath your thick covers. the bed was warm, soft, almost welcoming you for an eternal slumber...that is, until your phone had woken you up. specifically enough, it was due to the constant vibrations and notification pings that constantly were setting off. your eyes stir awake, your arm weakly reaching forward to grab the device off your nightstand. squinting, almost decimated by the brightness of your phone, you were greeted from a text from a familiar name.

➜ yukong: hey, y/n. i apologize for texting you while you remain asleep. you can respond once you're awake, but if you're able to, can you run some errands for me if able? obviously, there will be payment involved.

➜ y/n: it's okay, i just woke up. i can do it rn if you want

➜ yukong: ahhh, you're awake? im sorry! go back to sleep

➜ y/n: no, it's okay. i don't mind helping you.

➜ yukong: okay, if you say so. just be sure to rest after, okay? i'll make sure you get an extra reward for this.

then, you would take a moment to spend your way too early morning getting ready. from washing your face, brushing your teeth, dressing up...and finally you were ready to head out.

stepping foot into xianzhou, you made your way towards the building that yukong frequently worked in. there, she assigned you with a task of delivering paperwork to a few clients. she was unable to do this work due to some personal stuff coming up within her life, thus allowing her to entrust you with these work-related tasks. but there was no surprise to this type of work whatsoever. himeko and welt often asked you to deliver and run errands for them, especially on the space station. this was no different, especially when this was one of the main ways of how you got your credits.

the client's location in particular was in a place that you were familiar with, and being in xianzhou long enough, you were able to find shortcuts and learn which routes to take to avoid confronting monsters and the like. so, you decide to take a route that was practically an alleyway. a bit scary when it's dark, but it always succeeded when it came to going to your destination site.

you hum to yourself, practically predicting that this would be a very easy-going day. just deliver a few thing and go back to the astral express and just hang out with march, right?

you were dead wrong.

the moment you continued down the alleyway path, you come across an individual in particular that seemed...slumped against the wall. the stench of blood filled your nose, but it was a smell you were quite accustomed to, being consistently in the battlefield and all. you immediately knew that this person was injured, perhaps lifeless, even.

though, the alleyway was still a bit dark, rendering your eyes to be useless to make out who the person was. nevertheless, you were here, and you were on the path of abundance. you would take this time to help this person, and...

"...blade?"

you stepped closer, your e/c hues taking a glimpse of his familiar hair, his signature weapon that was laid on the ground, decorated with the blossoming of someone's blood...and his eyes. those beautiful, golden and scarlet eyes you would admire. his eyes were beautiful as ever, but they remained...so dull. so solemn.

you stopped in place, unsure of what to do or how to truly act in this situation. this man―this man in front of you...he was your enemy. he was the enemy of your family―the astral express crew. and here he was, struggling to breathe, unable to defend himself. even with you here, and he didn't seem to care...as though he trusted that you wouldn't do anything to him.

"...gh," you could hear him grunt, his fingers clutching tightly at his side as his blood oozed inbetween his fingers. "what?"

your eyes peel to his injuries, and you set down the paperwork you were meant to deliver. at this very moment, you had the option to basically arrest the man, to take him as prisoner. you could do it and make your life easier...but something didn't seem right. surely, kafka would be on her way to assist him now, no? but you didn't have time to think―you needed to act, and blade's life was practically in your hands.

as you sat down, both of your hands emit a soft glow of turquoise, giving a visual indication that you were going to heal him. hovering your hands over his injuries, you watch carefully, observing the rest of his features. he was stabbed, he was hurt―but who? who did this?

"...uhn," he grunted again, a stubborn smirk appearing upon his visage, "why are you even here? you had the opportunity to kill me, to take me prisoner, and yet―"

"shh. save your breath, blade."

that's when he actually did listen to you, as though you possessed kafka's verbal skill and remained silent. the pain that he felt was now gone, only to be replaced by the soreness of his injuries. gritting his teeth, the man would laugh to himself. the pain, everything he felt through is injuries⸻he had missed it. he was quite the masochist, after all.

blade had limped, still clutching to the side. the soreness of his injuries would take some time to get used to. it had been a while since he's been this brutally stabbed before. "so, what?" he began, "you're gonna go run off and tell the others that i was here? you should've taken me captive and have gotten over it, y/n."

"...i can't do that to you," you murmured, "it's just⸻"

"just what?"

boldly enough, blade walks over to you, extending an arm towards you. his hand was already caressing the side of your face, the pad of his thumb was brushing against your skin. you gazed upon his features, admiring this scarlet gaze that looked upon you so...softly.

"you've taken many lives before, y/n. many lives you did to save a world. so, you can take mine. or even take me. why can't you?"

you frown, almost instinctively leaning into his touch, "don't say that," you murmur, "i just...i just can't."

your heart began to race. you loved blade, and you loved him dearly, but you just didn't know your choices at this very moment. you didn't know what you wanted. you pulled away, gently brushing his hand away as you turned your back to him, picking up the pieces of paper that you set to the side to assist him.

blade watched you in silence, admiring your physique and beauty as he eyed on the paperwork. errands, again. is the astral express making you do all the dirty work again? there he goes, assuming that the astral express crew is making you do shit for them/

"i have to go. i'll⸻i'll see you later, blade."

you definitely will see him later.

"..."

blade was silent, watching as you left the scene quickly. he did, however, made sure that you left safely as you had arrived to assist him⸻but you had left something behind, as it fell out of your pocket as you left the scene.

your phone.

you were gone for quite a while.

your disappearance left dan heng and the others of the astral express team to worry about you...you weren't responding either. they have tried to check your location, but they keep forgetting that it was nearly difficult to really find your approximate location when they were on the astral express versus you being in xianzhou.

"i think she's fine, really." himeko said, "but i can't help but actually worry about y/n."

"do you think she was kidnapped!?" march exclaimed, gasping dramatically.

"no, march," welt shook his head, "she might've taken off without us knowing. i am sure she's just fine. besides, our security system would've picked it up a while ago if we had an intruder."

"hm." dan heng shook his head, "i'll go find her."

then everyone's eyes casted over to dan heng. march blinked, "eh!? well, you know xianzhou better than any of us... would you like for me to come with you, dan heng?"

dan heng shook his head, dismissing the topic with a hand as he shoved his phone into his own pocket. "no. i have business there to attend to anyways, so i better just look for her myself."

march looked back to the crew before nodding with everyone else in unison. "alright...well, please let us know if something came up, okay? tell y/n she's a dummy for not telling us anything!"

dan heng shook his head again. "sure, i will. i'll be back."

when dan heng had arrived upon the world of xianzhou, he was greeted by the welcoming scent of his homeworld's air. the fresh breeze, the gentle autumn leaves that brushed through with the winds that fluttered gently. the beautiful, bright blue sky that now greeted the world with its morning glory...but you were nowhere to be seen.

he wondered where you were at, and it may not show, but he was worried about you deeply. everyone else trusted that you were fine, but dan heng had felt otherwise. after all, he had very strong feelings towards you, and never once did he spent a day without worrying about you.

➜ dan heng: where are you, y/n?

➜ dan heng: did your phone die?

➜ dan heng: hang on. i'm coming to look for you.

➜ dan heng: huh? hold on, it says you're online. why aren't you responding to any of us?

it was strange, wasn't it? that you were online⸻as it said on his phone⸻but you weren't responding to anyone. could it be that you left your phone somewhere and it just turned on? no, that's not how technology really worked, and dan heng wasn't that less intellectual when it came to technology and all that sort of stuff.

in truth, someone else that wasn't you was watching these messages. reading them. someone had your phone.

this worried dan heng even more, wondering why you are online and choosing not to text anyone. were you upset? did he do something wrong? something wasn't right. that was when⸻

his fighter instincts kicked in as he felt something, or someone, coming towards him at such incredible, unpredicting speed. oh, he already knew who it was. within a milisecond, dan heng took form of his vidyadhara form, greeting his rival with a deflection of his own attack. as his lance and the opponent's sword met, dan heng looked forward, observing the intruder that attacked him.

"⸻!?"

and at the corner of his eye, dan heng could see a familiar cellular device was in the intruder's free hand...

"⸻you." dan heng retrieved his attack and leaped back, watching as his opponent did the same, "why do you have y/n's phone? what did you do?"

blade had laughed, his faint smirk appearing on his features as he lifted your phone, displaying the conversation between her and dan heng...or well, dan heng ultimately blowing up her phone with how worried he is.

"oh, this? she dropped it. why, you want it?" blade looked down to your phone, reading the text messages. "you text her this often, huh? what's is it between you and her?"

oh, it was so obvious. the two of them were possessive of you. blade, especially, who would practically annihilate anyone to keep you as his. but for the sake of your happiness, he hasn't. he hasn't killed anyone...yet. and he's waiting for the perfect time to steal you away, however. and now wasn't the time, unfortunately.

"what?" dan heng raised a brow. "what is going on between her and i has nothing to do with you. what did you do to y/n?"

"don't worry a single thing about it, boy," blade said, glancing down to the phone once again.

how annoying, blade thought to himself. the two of you were texting like this? holding onto your device, he inputted his own contacts, allowing the two of you to actually have a form of contact. of course, you were nowhere in sight, and you wouldn't know about this at all.

the dragon gritted his teeth, "where is she."

blade could see that dan heng was getting more furious by the second, and it was quite the sight to behold. oh, he was amused by this. he was allured by the anger of his archenemy. oh, it was amazing alright.

"go find her yourself. if you're worried that i did something, then you must be more stupid than i truly thought you are." turning off your phone, blade tosses the device over to dan heng, then he sheathed his own signature weapon away. "she's running errands for someone named yukong. that's all that's to it. she dropped her phone, and i happened to retrieve it."

how he knew about this information? he read your conversations, of course!

dan heng continued to glare daggers at the stellaron hunter. his hand twitched, but he caught the phone that belonged to you. "if you had touched her⸻"

"i certainly wish i did," blade mocked, "but i didn't. now run along."

that was when blade turned his back towards dan heng, allowing him to make his exit freely and safety. for some reason, dan heng chose to believe his words...blade...wouldn't exactly lie about keeping someone alive, either. with a huff of his mouth, dan heng proceeded to make an exit.

but this quarrel alone was suspicious. why was blade possessive of you? why did he have your phone? did something happen between the two of you? were you both holding a secret relationship? each question sent an aching pain to his heartstrings, which pulled his organs violently...

he needed answers, but he didn't want to know. he was afraid that you and him were... no, no. don't even think about it, dan heng. ensure her safety first.

what felt like forever, he finally saw you walking through the bustling streets of aurum alley, catching a glimpse of your h/c hair from the distance. he ran after you, "y/n!" he called out.

that was when you turned around, your familiar e/c eyes falling to the sight of dan heng in his vidyadhara form. right, he was always so beautiful in that form. you always admired him. his beauty, his strength⸻his loyalty and passion to his friends. and you, especially.

in his hand, dan heng held your phone, lifting the device.

"dan heng!" you called out, taking a few steps towards him as he approached you. coming to a stop, you notice that dan heng had your phone. giving you your device, you look at it, seeing that there were no cracks, and it was safely taken care of.

"ah, my phone! sorry, i was just about to go back to look for it and⸻"

"what were you thinking, worrying us like that?" dan heng had cut you off with his constant worrying about you. he was the silent, cold type, but because of you, you opened up a bit more of his social side...where it shows that he's very protective and worrying of you.

"ah! i'm sorry, just something happened and yukong needed my help, and⸻"

he cut you off again, as he sighed with relief, pulling you into his arms. you blinked, embracing the scent that he had, and the warmth that resonated upon his physique. you slowly returned the embrace, feeling your phone buzz quietly.

"ah...sorry, dan heng. i should've told you guys i would be leaving. it was just a short errand. i'm sorry for worrying you so much."

dan heng shook his head, keeping the embrace. as you embraced each other, you could see that someone had texted you...

➜ ???: good thing you're safe. i would've killed someone.

ah?

you had an idea who it might be, but you didn't respond. you'll do so later.

dan heng pulled away, a look of relief washing his ethereal features as he checked you for injuries...but he stopped himself, knowing that you were well and fine. "the others are waiting for you. have you finished your errands, y/n?"

you blink, nodding. "yeah. yukong gave me my reward, so i was just on my way back the moment i found my phone. i guess we can head back together, dan heng."

dan heng nodded, almost reluctant to take your hand...but he can't do anything yet. he wasn't sure about your relationship with blade. they both wanted you...but they weren't sure of each other's relationship with you. everything was amiss, after all. hidden behind a fog, unseeable.

"yeah, let's head back, y/n."

after being escorted back home to the parlor car, you were in your room. you had finished showering, eating...and finally you had some time to rest after an eventful day.

...but you had forgotten something... the text that you had received a few hours ago. it's best that you respond.

➜ ???: good thing you're safe. i would've killed someone.

➜ y/n: blade? sorry. i just saw this.

➜ ???: who else would it be. are you hurt?

he texted back immediately, too. you decided to add him back through your contacts, sending him a friend request and he would accept. you couldn't feel it or see it, but he was satisfied with that. the man barely uses his phone but for mission comms only. but now, he has a reason to use his phone more.

but also, now you know which person will be texting you. silver wolf and kafka have history of using his phone constantly when they don't have theirs, anyway.

➜ y/n: no, i'm okay. thank you for getting my phone back. are you alright? i'm moreso worried about you

➜ blade: i'm fine. are you going to bed?

➜ y/n: yeah, i'm tired. you should rest too. your injuries were bad...what happened anyway??

➜ blade: don't concern yourself with my quarrels, y/n.

➜ y/n: okay. as long as you're alright. but i am...getting a bit sleepy. but

➜ blade: ?

➜ y/n: i want to talk to you more

➜ blade: lol. go sleep. you can always text me.

➜ y/n: but in person?

➜ blade: one day.

➜ y/n: okay...

➜ blade: rest.

you stopped responding after that.

blade knew you had been succumbed into the arms of slumber, but he didn't dare try to wake you up. this time, he kept this phone on himself securely. he would never let kafka and silver wolf see these conversations...they were his to see, and for his eyes alone.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

A (Partial, Hypothetical) Map of the

Arachno-Humanoid PolyMultiverse

[A slightly MEDIUM length post where I mapped out and explain the positions of the different universes we see in ATSV -

and how those distances can effect everything to travel time - to the reason why Miles got bitten (maybe..based on my charting and data)]

Did I use common grouping and graphing to make a connectivity map of the universes within the Arachno-Humanoid-PolyMultiverse based on common attributes and similarities?

Why no - I didn't. Lyla gave me this map this morning. So there. _______________________________________

You know what pisses me off? ATSV showing us amazing ass things and then not stopping to explain them at all. Lucky for them, I have autism, a keyboard, and way too much time. So allow me.

'This is Everything': Okay but what is it?

The Spider-verse series is like an expert at going 'this is super interesting but i also I refuse to explain'

But one thing I've always found this SUPER interesting - The Portals. Because LOOK AT THEM. Like... the watch is creating a channel along a set path! It has velocity! How fast are they going? How far?!!

In lots of other Marvel movies like Doctor Strange, teleportation between universes is instantaneous. This is true for a lot of sci-fi.

However, for Spider-verse, they chose something different.

We see them flying and falling through portals, many of them twisting and turning. And it got me thinking -

If they're flying from point A to point B - Doesn't that imply that the universes have set locations - with measurable, varying distance between them?

And if so - how close are they together? Does it always take the same amount of time? Are some too far to get to without jumping to a closer location first?

So many possibilities! I was so curious to make sense of this. How does the watch KNOW where to go? Where every universe is?

The Solution:

I realized that each universe has similarities - and if similarity = proximity, there could be a way to map the universes by asking three simple questions:

Are they in the modern era? Are they in New York - or something like it? Are they stylized?

And what I got was a map that actually explains some very interesting things in the movie! (If you play by my logic, lol)

Graph Breakdown : How to read

[Explainer and breakdown below the cut PLUS a clearer version - so you can map out your sona!]

The graph is made up of two different points - Cluster Centers & Universes:

The Three Clusters: Location, Time, & Style

Cluster Centers are specific attributes that universes share, and these attributes clump similar universes together, shortening the distance between them.

There are 3 cluster centers, based on the three questions:

The Time Desynchronization Cluster: For universes that exist outside of the modern era The Stylization Cluster: For universes with artistic stylization The New York Cluster: For universes in which the Spider-person is based in New York, or a rendition of it.

These clusters are arranged in a triangle with sides of equal length.

Then, a universe is placed on the map based on whether they fit the criteria and how much they fit the criteria.

How much they fit each criteria determines each universe's proximity to each other, and the pathways the watches will take to get from location to location as quick as possible.

For example:

Plotting Universes: Distances & Changes

Using these three Clusters, we can plot almost any Spider-person or Spidersona on the map!

Universes that share attributes and clusters are closer together, shortening the distance and time it takes to complete jumps.

In addition, universes with lots of cluster connections and nearby universes are considered more stable, the strands of the web closer together, and quicker in general.

And just for reference:

The places in which the universes' lines cross are common canon events they share.

Looking at the plotted Universes, we can see some cool things about how they work:

[My lovely OC's, DiscoSpider Diane and Inca-Spider Moche plotted as examples]

The proximity matters in context too! And it seems to effect a lot of things - like observably in the movie.

The closeness of two universes, can possibly explain the time it takes to get there, why some people fall into other universes, and how easy it is to assimilate into another's universe.

Some cool things to note:

Gwen and Miles' universes are next to each other. Which could explain how she fell into his world. Gwen is way more stylized than Miles, so she's closer to that Cluster than he is.

Peter's universe (not charted..lol) would be next to Miles' & Pavitrs - which also explains his involvement in ITSV.

Noir, Spider-Ham, and Peni Parker would all be close-by as well.

Miles and Pavi's universes are next to each other. Miles & Pavi share all three attributes. Because of this, Miles and Pavi's universes are right next to each other. Which could be why Gwen & Miles' jump to Mumbattan is very short and quick.

Pavi's universe is next to HQ. Pavi is modern, low-stylization, and based in a New York adjacent city. This is true for Miguel too, however, he's in 2099, desynchronized from time. Them being right next to each other could explain how so many members of the Spider Society arrived to Mumbattan quickly to contain the anomaly - as all they would need to do is traverse the time difference.

The stylized characters are charted 'most stylized' to least - left to right, based on medium/inspo: Gwen being first (watercolor), then Hobie (collages of prints, text, and real people), and then Noir (completely shaded with no color, but based off of live-action films), then Patrick a.k.a Webslinger (based on live-action Westerns).

Because of this layout, Hobie's universe borders Gwen's. This could explain how Gwen stayed at his place without being noticed for her differing style (which - as we see with Miles and Spider-Ham, would be obvious). But Gwen universe being nearby, could be why she didn't stand out too much.

Hobie's universe borders Noir's. This is very cute. I love them. Happy feelings.

Noir's universe borders Diane's. Because they both live in New York, and are desynchronized from time (Noir being 1933, and Diane 1982) - Noir and Diane's universe sit next to each other. This makes a lot of sense - Noir's world is perpetually white and black - literally 'noir', while Diane's world lacks a day-cycle, making it always night-time.

Because they share these attributes with Miguel as well - Nueva York, 2099 - Noir and Diane actually live 'closest' to campus, along with Pavitr third.

Despite both being O'hara's, Patrick's universe is REALLY far from Miguel's. This is because WebSlinger's universe is time desynchronized in the opposite direction, very far in the past. He's also stylized - and he lives in the Wild West, not New York. Hence the distance.

As is Moche's - Miguel's wife. Like Miguel, Moche lives in a time desynchronized universe (his 2099, hers 1992) - however Moche is from Peru, hence why her and Patrick are the farthest from the New York Cluster. Moche's world is stylized as photorealistic, moreso than Miles, so she's the farthest from that cluster as well.

Miles' and Wiles' universes would be almost directly next to each other - which explains the spider-bite and the fact Miles' DNA changed so easily. Not all variants are next to each other though - Hobie's 616 Prowler variant is actually pretty far from his.

Uhhh...yeah, I think that's everything. But mind you - that's only a two dimensional slice of THIS

Hopefully I was able to decode like 0.0001% of it.

This is all speculation and my imagination, But what came out of it is INTERESTING AS HELL TO ME. Writers...pleasee...feed me more random stills in which I can consume.

Also Miguel if you're reading this please hire me I have a degree in Archnohumanoid Poly-Multiversal Research that's good for nothing and I desperately need a job-

________________________________

I hope you liked this and this made sense! It was just a fun little experiment to do that turned out to be REALLY interesting to chart out/decipher.

Lemme know what you think about how it all works and stuff and what you think of this!

If you made it this far! Thank you so much!! SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

Here's a copy of the map with smaller universes, so you can slot in your own sonas! Plus, a pic of Hobie for your troubles.

His eyes are so pretty. Can you believe he's in love with my Spidersona thats crazzzyy

Bye.

[kaiijo]

love triangles in twisted wonderland (ii)

characters: ruggie, kalim, cater, malleus, sebek, jack notes: gn! reader, mix of jpn and eng translations

ruggie bucchi vs kalim al-asim

Ruggie didn’t know how he felt about Kalim. On one hand, he represented everything Ruggie really despised — spoiled, oblivious, lazy upper-crust people who wouldn’t know a struggle if it hit them in the face. On the other hand, Kalim never gave him a real reason to dislike him beyond his socioeconomic standing.

That is, until now.

You and Kalim, much to Ruggie’s dismay, had been paired up for some Astrology project. You two had been friendly before but now, you were attached at the hip. Or, more accurately, Kalim followed you around like a lost pup, which made Ruggie roll his eyes every time he saw it. You didn’t seem to mind though…

It was a rare moment nowadays to have you to himself, so Ruggie capitalized on the fact that you were alone at a cafeteria table and that Leona had been sound asleep in the gardens at that moment. Skipping the line and ignoring disgruntled cries, Ruggie got a hamburger and joined you at your table.

You perked up when you saw him, offering him a smile that made his stomach flip-flop. “Hey!”

“You mind if I sit here?”

“You know that I don’t. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you!”

“Yeah.” Ruggie resisted the urge to point out that Kalim was the reason for it, instead opting to say, “I’ve been studying my ass off for Vargas’s exam.”

“Me too,” you sighed, resting your cheek on your palm. “Who would’ve thought the Headmage would make him do a written exam?”

Ruggie replied, “I heard something different — that Professor Trein basically said Vargas wouldn’t be able to pull together one since he’s got muscles for brains, or something like that.”

You snorted out a laugh, “Even if that isn’t true, it is in my head.”

Ruggie bit down on his lip to keep from grinning too widely. Your conversation carried on, blissfully uninterrupted, for approximately seven more minutes (not that Ruggie was counting or anything) until the exact person Ruggie didn’t want to say bounded over in his endless sunshine.

“Ooh! Is that the blush sauce pasta?” Kalim asked you, leaning over your shoulder. Ruggie huffed when your attention was pulled from him. “Do you think I’ll like it? Can I have a bite?”

Ruggie glared at Kalim as you twirled up a bunch of pasta, holding it out on your fork for Kalim to try. He wondered if Kalim was purposefully a messy eater or if that was just him, but some sauce splattered on his cheek. “Whoops,” Kalim said and you just shook your head fondly, wiping some off with a napkin.

Deliberate or not, Ruggie had one thought cross his mind: Two can play that game. With that, he braced himself and drove his knee upwards into the table. He let out a yelp of pain and your attention was immediately diverted. “Are you okay, Ruggie?” You shot up from your seat and came over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Roll up your pant leg — is it bruising?”

As you started pulling the fabric up, Ruggie shot a sidelong glance at Kalim, who was watching intently with a pout, and his mouth pulled into a smug smirk.

Ruggie: 1, Kalim: 0.

cater diamond vs. malleus draconia

Since Riddle and the rest of the housewardens were away on some bonding retreat organized by Kalim, Cater decided to throw a party. Half of it was to be able to have fun without Riddle getting on to him about the rules, and the other half was because he wanted an excuse to spend time with you outside of class. You had been pretty busy recently so he was really looking forward to chilling with you.

Imagine his shock when he saw you walk into the dorm with Malleus Draconia at your side. Tall, dark, and regal, Malleus cut an intimidating figure as followed you across the room, headed for Cater. “Hey!” you chirped, grinning brightly. “Thanks for inviting us.” Cater’s heart skipped a beat as he soaked in the sight of your smile.

Malleus nodded along and said, “It was very generous of you.”

Part of Cater wanted to say that he invited you, not Malleus, but he definitely wasn’t going to say that. Plus, maybe he could get a Magicam pic with him at this party? “Of course!” Cater replied, “I’m super excited to have you here!” He turned to Malleus and said, “Not often that I see you out and about!”

You looped you arm through Malleus, something both he and Cater took note of, and said, “This is Malleus’s first big party so I was thinking you could show him around and introduce him with me?”

“I’d be surprised if people didn’t know him,” Cater said. “But I’ll definitely help.”

“Ah,” Malleus spoke up. “We wouldn’t want to impose on Cater. I would be okay if you just showed me around, Y/n.”

Cater’s smile faltered but he recovered, shaking his head. What was that about? “It’s no trouble at all, really.”

“It’s uncourteous of a host to leave his guests unattended and to curry favor on one,” Malleus pressed and Cater’s eyes narrowed. What was Malleus playing at?

It didn’t take long for Cater to put two and two together. The way Malleus didn’t reject your touch, the way he arrived with you, the way he insisted that only you showed him around, the tenderness with which he looked at you — Malleus liked you. Panic bubbled up in him. If that was the case, and you brought him with you to Cater’s party, did that mean you liked Malleus romantically?

At that exact moment, another thought dawned on Cater. “Shouldn’t you be at the housewarden retreat?” He nearly jumped when the aura around Malleus became a mix of gloom and irritation.

You definitely felt the shift too as you asked, “Cater, can I talk to you alone for a sec?” You grabbed his arm and hauled him off somewhere, calling sweetly over your shoulder to Malleus, “We won’t be gone long!”

You led Cater to an empty hallway and said, “Malleus wasn’t invited, so I decided to bring him here to, you know, cheer him up!”

Ah, now that made sense. His body relaxed a little. So this wasn’t a date. You just felt bad that Malleus wasn’t invited.

You continued, “I know you’re hosting and it’s a lot to ask, but could you help me just make sure he has a good time? Or at least isn’t sulking alone in the corner?”

Cater considered this for a second. He wasn’t too keen on babysitting Malleus for the night but if it meant spending time with you… “Sure, no problem!” When your face broke into a relieved smile, Cater knew that, somehow, this would be worth it.

sebek zigvolt vs. jack howl

“Master Lilia!” Sebek shouted, rushing into the Diasomnia dorm. Looking up from a game of chess with Silver, who had fallen asleep across from him, Lilia asked, “What can I do for you, Sebek?”

“I seek counsel!”

“Oh? On what matter?”

Sebek huffed, “I am trying to find a way to spend more time with Y/n but I am at a loss for how to do so. Every time I approach them, they are with someone and even when they are not, people pop up everywhere.”

Lilia nodded carefully. “I see.” Lilia thought for a moment before saying, “You have a test in Defense Magic coming up, no?”

“Master Lilia, with all due respect, this is not the time to—”

Lilia held up a hand. “Let me finish, Sebek. You share that class with Y/n, if I recall correctly. So why don’t you invite them to study with you? Just the two of you, no one else.”

Sebek’s face brightened. “Master, you prove yourself once again to be a brilliant strategist! I am indebted to you!”

With a bow, Sebek ran off again, finding you in the Mirror Chamber, leaving your dorm portal. “Human!”

“Oh, hey, Sebek!”

“I am requesting that we study together for the Defense Magic test!”

“Oh!” You nodded vigorously. “Yeah, that would be great actually! It’s kind of one of my worst subjects, so it would be a lot of help to study with someone else.”

“And, of course, I know what I’m doing, so you’re in good hands.”

“Alright, do you want to go to the library now?”

“Ah,” Sebek said, “I… got banned for the day for my volume in the library.” He couldn’t tell if his face was warming from the admission or from your amused stare.

You chuckled and said, “What about the courtyard then? We need to actually do spells anyways, so that’s a better option.”

Sebek nodded and you two walked to the courtyard. As you two started studying and practicing together, Sebek learned two things: one, you weren’t lying when you said Defense Magic wasn’t your strong suit. You managed to put a shield around a bench instead of yourself. The second thing was that, while he was okay at the subject, he was nowhere near good enough to really effectively help you study. And if that was the case, how could he help and defend the Young Master if he couldn’t help you, the person he liked, with such a simple thing as Defense Magic? And if he failed the Young Master—

“Jack!” The call of the name snapped Sebek from his downward spiral, and he followed your gaze to Jack, who was jogging across the courtyard. Sebek couldn’t help but grimace when the other boy made his way towards the two of you.

“Hey.”

You asked him, “Your best class is Defense Magic, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you have time to help me and Sebek with the shielding spell that’s on the upcoming exam?”

Sebek’s eyes narrowed as he watched Jack’s tail start to wag. Before he could answer you, Sebek interjected, “I’m sure we don’t want to bother Jack on his run.”

“I’m, uh, actually just finishing,” Jack said. “It’s okay, I can help.”

Without warning, you wrapped Jack in a hug, ignoring the sweat clinging to him. “Thank you so much, you’re the best!”

Sebek could only glower at your embrace and at the way Jack’s tail seemed to be rapidly picking up speed by the second. It seemed like he would have to take the loss, retreat for the day, and regroup with Master Lilia to craft a different plan.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

EVE (PARADISE LOST)

1.) I recognise how insane this submission is because this was written in 1667 and so attitudes towards women were obviously very different. But misogyny has always existed, no matter the time period, and so I think it’s fair to pick up on it. Although Milton somewhat avoids painting Eve as the wicked seductress, she is nevertheless presented as inherently inferior to Adam - her ‘virtue’ and 'passion’ are supposed to be an equal counterpart to Adam’s intellect but Milton’s clear resentment of Eve shines through. She is vain from the beginning - enamoured with her own reflection until she meets Adam. She is Adam’s subordinate and readily accepts her place in the hierarchy below him, until she meets Satan. Women seeking power and knowledge is therefore inextricably tied to the fall of mankind. Her attempt for some kind of independence away from Adam (going to tend the garden away from him) is also presented as the primary reason she succumbed to Satan because Adam is needed to protect her. Eve (the mother of all women) therefore creates the assumption that women are weak and easily misled away from men. The description of her eating the apple is very sexual - perhaps reflecting the anxieties of men at the time of being cuckolded and therefore dishonoured by their wives. She is the ultimate disobedient, dangerous wife. Her reason for sharing the forbidden knowledge with Adam, rather than keeping it for herself, is because she is worried she will face the wrath of God and be replaced with another Eve. So it is her jealousy that brings them both down. (It is all a lot more complicated than this so Eng lit people don’t kill me) but yeah poor Eve.

CORDELIA CHASE (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES) (CW: Pregnancy)

1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show’s spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show’s secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show’s main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I’ve checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel’s teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don’t worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that’s possessing her. it’s about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy’s got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I’m so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON’T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy’s existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I’d call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one’s even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy’s a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!

2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she’d get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated

3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - lots, just LOTS

I thought I would be pretty lean reporting for Oct 2023 but then (for reasons relayed here) the weeklies got saved by a drunk avenging hacker in a hotel room.

Oct 2023 Wk 1

Except I still can't watch IFYLITA, because I use my other computer for it.

Gotta say though, watching tese mostly all in one day (for travel reasons) is beyond even my BL superpowers. I did my best tho.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Sailom, sweetie, Kang is never sleeping alone again. It wasn't really translated, but Kang's way of speaking in that opening stinger was VERY cutsie. Also the gay sheets have made another appearance. I do have to say that "rich kid problems" is not my favorite story arc, but I still think this is a great Thai BL.

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 6 of 8 - I love that they are finally talking to each other but Yi’s whole personality is shifting. Honestly, this pair is great at kissing and casual touches, but the friendships are the best thing about this franchise. Also Mr Chenne remains my fav character. But where did Diao's baby superhero team come from? And why? This show is very confusing... It’s also not very good.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) You Are My Soulmate ep 7 - This was the one of the series I was looking forward to the most, because silly, pretty, and v BL. It is, in fact all those things and nothing more. So I'm enjoying it, of course.

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I like it, but it feels like it's gonna be so sad. I'm having Promise and Dew the movie flashbacks. Plus 12 eps seems too long for this narrative thread. I am worried.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 6 of 10 eps - This show is so slow it's hardly worth the bandwidth, but we attained "baby is a floppy drunk" and thus a finger bite frustration scene, which was nice.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 9 of 10 (not a BL but I'm watching it anyway) - Ray is so mean to Sand. The not-a-thing with Sand & Nick was cute. I’ve had several experiences like that. All my queer friendship groups tend to be incestuous, but sometimes they're just too much of a sibling and trying to sleep with them is the most unsexy thing in the universe. To be fair, I’ve also been in Ton’s position (this ep). Jojo sure makes queer shizz. But also, Ton must have a magic rod with everyone wanting a repeat. (I'm so glad they put Neo in this role, no one else at GMMTV could play him as complex or sympathetic.)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 5 of 10 - now officially known by me as "I'm too sunshine for this seme" where our boss is being hella obvious but our cinnamon roll is just too ooey-gooey to notice. Al.though, baby boy, he takes you home, sleeps on top of you, feeds you cookies (IN HIS BED) and keeps you in his space? Surely even this sunshine is catching a few rays of truth?

Gaga's *unintelligible gay murmuring* is my favorite caption EVER.

Also the name of my new ASMR YT channel.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 - ah gay panic, also what is Korea's obsession with 7 year separations? Is it only true love if you wait 7 years? Dohoon is SUCH a flirt, it's kinda great! Also, since it's Korea, we got us a bit of a love triangle with 2 hyung romances, so I (of course) am torn. Either way Dohoon is going down. I do love how much time we are spending with the food in this drama, finally one that lives up to its name. On an entirely different note, Korean camping is the most bizare thing to me. It's SO damn civilized. There will be NO DIRT. They pack blow torches. And full dinner sets. Every time I see it in a drama, I'm amused.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - OMG these 2 are so in love with each other, and so ridiculous about it. They're tiny idiots but I love them.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings.

I like the odd Japanese mature-childishness in this one. Plus a broken sunshine who is out in a kind of aggresive way and an instinctive caring seme. What's not to love? Well, it's Japan I'm sure it will surprise me one way or another.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - the cray cray step brother quazi incest is a bit much for me. Why does VBL just suddenly get so unhinged like this?

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 9 of 13(?) - resumes next week

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch 8-12 and do a series review when I get back in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - I will complete and drop a review in Nov.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. I find thie series more fun to binge, som I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

In case you missed it?

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) Apparently ended its run I DNFed this at ep 3. So no review from me.

My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - Play it again Sam, only I'm kinda tired of this song. I was v dramatic tho. And it's always nice to be reminded JBL can kiss when it puts its mind to it. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

10/? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I've seen this Chinese drama like... no wait... okay it's like EVERY Chinese drama ever.

(both Mr Cinderella 2)

I only got to watch this scene and the bath, but bot were pretty darn good! I Feel You Linger in the Air

There's only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway. One of BL's oddest tropes.

I do love a finger bite. (both Venus in the Sky)

Good advice

(Naughty Babe)

(Last week) 

[en-dazed]

first, tangled - sim jaeyun, lee heeseung

PAIRINGS: jake x reader, heeseung x reader

GENRES: friends to strangers (to lovers?), love triangle, angst, jake is your first love and childhood best friend (and your boyfriend’s roommate), heeseung is your boyfriend

WARNINGS: brief mention of alcohol and drinking but nothing other that i think??

PROMPT: in which reader meets her first love and ex childhood best years later - as her boyfriend’s roommate

WORD COUNT: 5803 words

A/N: THIS IS PART 1 OF A SERIES. Endgame hasn’t been decided yet but this will be at least a 2 or 3 part series so if you have any preference for who reader should end up with then send me an ask and i’ll consider it! suggestions are accepted <3

You met your first love when you were 10 years old. Your understanding of love was limited to the love you felt for your parents and your family. It would only be years later that you realised just how deep your feelings for your first love had gone, even from the beginning. 

You met your first love on the first day of school that year. New to the area, you were shy and could barely make eye contact with anyone. The kids in the area had gone to school together since kindergarten and were already friends with each other. You were the outsider that they had stared at curiously, whispering in the hallways about who the new girl was as you had walked to your first class that day. 

You had sat down way in the back, hoping that no one would notice you. With your eyes glued firmly to your desk, you failed to notice the boy who approached you. 

“Hi, you’re the new girl aren’t you?” 

Even as a kid Jake shined brighter than anyone else. You had struggled to make eye contact with the friendly boy but he persisted in trying to talk to you. 

“My name’s Sim Jaeyun but everyone calls me Jake. What’s your name?”

You mumbled your name, looking at your desk instead of him. You expected him to leave but he surprised you by taking the empty seat next to you instead. 

Jake was extremely persistent. 

He would talk to you about anything and everything, would help you during lessons when he saw you struggling and he would even let you use his notes to study. Jake never forced you to talk and at first you didn’t. You listened as he ranted about his day and the soccer practice that had gone horribly. You listened to him talk about his dog and how much he loved her. 

You listened and slowly you began to open up as well. You remembered that he had smiled widely the first time you had opened up to him and it made you think that Jake had a very nice smile. You found yourself looking forward to going to school, rushing through the gates to see Jake once more. You began to notice the way he played with his hair when he was nervous, the way he fiddled with his thumbs when he was impatient and you noticed how he would maintain eye contact when he spoke to you - as if you were the only person in his world at that time. But you were only 10 and couldn’t understand why you liked Jake so much

Jake was popular in the way that genuinely nice guys were. Everyone liked him and even the ones that didn’t really know him, knew of him. They knew him as the smart kid who always got top scores in class, the one who was friendly with everyone, even the shy girl who sat at the back of the class. They knew him as the kid who was always ready to offer a smile to anyone and would drop his own plans to help someone he barely knew. Everyone liked him but Jake only ever sat next to you. 

Even as the years and seasons passed by and you both entered high school, Jake never went away. He was an ever present constant in your life and you told yourself that that’s why you felt your body warm up whenever he would smile at you. You told yourself that your heart ached to see him at all times because he was your best friend and there was no other reason for it; there couldn’t be. 

“Do you ever think about how different things would be if I never talked to you that time?” He asked you one evening, while you were both lying side by side on your bed. 

You thought about his question for a minute before replying. “I’d be alone and you’d probably have another best friend.” You told him and he turned towards you with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face. 

“I can never have another best friend. It’s you or no one else Y/N.”

You felt your heart race at his words but you disguised it by hitting his shoulder. 

“Hey! What was that for?” He complained loudly. 

“You were being too cheesy.” You looked away to hide the growing blush on your face. 

You experienced your first heartbreak before you even realised that you were in love and hearts could break. 

“Y/N,” Jake had bounced up to you in class one day. “I think I’m in love.”

Your stomach churned and you didn’t understand why. 

“With who?” You asked and you didn’t know why you wanted to know so badly. 

“Minji from third period,” He sighed dreamily, lost in thought. “She asked to borrow my notebook today and I think my brain short circuited.”

“Oh,” You gulped. “That’s nice.”

You tried your best to hide your disappointment, plastering a smile on your face while your heart sank. Jake didn’t seem to notice the look on your face. 

“She’s so pretty Y/N. I don’t think I've ever felt this way about anyone else before.”

You felt your stomach flip again as you listened to him talk. It was an ache you couldn't quite explain, a realisation that perhaps your feelings for him ran deeper than you had ever acknowledged. Jake smiled as he talked about his new crush and you found a name for the feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

You were in love with Jake but he wasn’t in love with you. 

“Which do you think Minji would like more?” Jake pulled up two shirts, one black and one white. 

“The black one.” You answered after giving it a split second look. 

Jake looked at the black one closely and seemed to decide you were right, throwing the white shirt on his bed beside you. 

“I’m so nervous Y/N,” He ran a hand through his hair and you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw the simple action. 

Focus Y/N.

You forced yourself to look supportive. “It’ll be fine, Ikeu. She asked you out so I’m sure she likes you.”

“Thanks Y/N. You’re such a good friend for coming over to help me get ready.” He smiled gratefully at you and you felt your heart break a little bit more. Lately you hated it when Jake called you his friend. 

“It’s no problem.” You lied through your teeth. 

That night when Jake called you to tell you that Minji had kissed him on the date, you had forced a congratulations before ending the call abruptly. 

You spent the whole night sobbing onto your pillow and wondering why you had to fall for the one person who you couldn’t have. 

Jake and Minji started dating the summer you turned 18. Slowly, your best friend started spending less and less time with you and more time with his new girlfriend. You told him it was fine when he had to skip your study date to go help Minji with something. You told him you didn’t mind when he forgot to pick you up to walk to school together, the way you both had done every year for so many years. Each time, you reassured him with a smile, telling him it was alright and that you understood. Deep down, however, the ache of loneliness crept in.

It was a delicate balance between being supportive of your friend's happiness and grappling with the void left behind. The pang of abandonment was a bitter pill to swallow, yet you convinced yourself that this was what friendship meant—being there through both the highs and lows, even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness. If friendship was all you’d ever have then you’d be the best friend he ever had. 

“I’m sorry Y/N,” He apologized after he cancelled another one of your plans together. “Minji wants me there and I don’t want to tell her no. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s alright.” You lied again - something that had become second nature to you lately. Secretly you wondered if Minji was calling him on purpose to cancel your plans together every time. You had a feeling that she didn’t like you too much, something that was solidfied by the way she would ignore your presence whenever you were near. Jake, however, was oblivious to it all. 

“You’re such a good friend Y/N. Thank you for being so understanding.” 

A good friend. 

It felt like an arrow through your heart. 

“I’ll always be your friend.” The word tasted horrible in your mouth but you said it because you knew it would make Jake happy. And it did - he smiled at you so brightly and for a minute you were okay because Jake was smiling at you and everything was alright whenever he smiled. 

But the reality was quite different. As the day passed you found the distance between you two growing bigger and bigger. Jake and Minji grew closer and you and him grew apart. Perhaps there was no longer any room in his heart for you and you wondered if you had just been a placeholder until someone new came along. It pained you to entertain such thoughts, but they were difficult to ignore. You became an outsider, relegated to the sidelines, masking your true feelings behind a facade of understanding and support. 

Jake had long stopped sitting next to you in class, his seat next to yours now empty. Instead, he opted to sit next to Minji. Your interactions went from being glued to the hip to a polite smile in the hallways when you saw each other. The promise of always being friends had fallen empty and you watched as your best friend slowly became a stranger. 

And before you were even 19, your first love was over. 

You met Heeseung in your first year of college. He was everything you deemed unattainable—tall, gorgeous, and popular—a stark contrast to your own self-perception. You had faded away into the background just like before when your friendship with Jake had ended. You noticed Heeseung, of course. How could you not? As your new friend Wonyoung liked to say, Heeseung was a greek god among men. You didn’t expect him to notice you so it took you by surprise when he approached you one day in the Starbucks on campus. 

“Y/N right?” He asked and you found yourself at a loss for words, shocked that he even knew your name. You nodded on autopilot and he gave you a coffee with your name on it. 

“The barista was going to call out your name but I told him I would hand it to you. I thought it would be a good excuse to talk to you.” 

The words slipped out before you could filter them: "Why would you want to talk to me?"

Heeseung smiled shyly. “Because I think you’re pretty.”

The whole interaction threw you off balance and when he made his way out the door with a coffee and your number written on his hand you were left feeling as if you were stuck in a dream. 

For once, Jake was not on your mind. 

The last time you had seen the boy you called your first love was at your highschool graduation. He had sat with Minji at his side as was usual for him by then. Wherever Minji went, Jake followed. That was also the last day that you had talked to him. 

“Congrats, Y/N.” Jake had approached you while you were alone. 

You had smiled at him, congratulating him back. “Valedictorian huh? I always knew it would be you.” You told him and his eyes shone with something that looked to you like sadness. But that couldn’t be it right?

“Y/N I’m really sorry for how horrible of a friend I was at the end. I-“

“Ikeu!” You felt your stomach churn at the familiar nickname, the name that you had given him. 

Minji bounced up to you and suddenly you wanted to run away, as far away from the situation as possible. 

“It’s okay Jake. I think you have other priorities now.” You nodded towards Minji before leaving. 

You forced Jake out of your mind and out of your life. You shoved him in a box both literally and metaphorically, with all reminders of him collected and gathering dust under your bed. Your first love had become your first heartbreak and you didn’t want to delve on it any longer. You didn’t want to think about Jake any longer. 

Maybe that was the reason that had pushed you to say yes to Heeseung when he asked you out on a date, a few days later. 

The day of your date with Heeseung arrived, and you found yourself nervously adjusting your outfit in front of the mirror. You had chosen something that made you feel confident and comfortable, hoping to make a good impression.

The first word you heard when you opened the door for Heeseung was “Wow.”

He stood at your door with a bouquet of flowers and an awed look on his face. “You’re so gorgeous.”

And you felt a familiar surge of butterflies in your stomach, something that you had never felt for anyone other than Jake. 

The evening unfolded effortlessly. Heeseung paid attention to you like no one ever had, hanging onto every word you spoke as if it was gospel. He made you feel special, wanted. In turn, he shared his own thoughts and experiences. The more you talked, the more you realized how much you had in common proving your first impression of him wrong. 

“Can I hold your hand?” He asked you as you walked through a park. He ran his hands through his hair and immediately you were transported and there was Jake in front of you. But just as fast, the glimpse of him was gone and you gave him your hand, not because he reminded you of Jake but because you genuinely liked him. 

As the night drew to a close, Heeseung walked you back to your dormitory. Standing under the soft glow of the streetlights, there was a sense of anticipation hanging in the air. Heeseung looked at you earnestly, his eyes filled with genuine interest.

“Y/N, I had an amazing time tonight," he said, his voice gentle yet filled with sincerity. "I'd love to see you again if you're up for it."

A smile crept across your face as you realized that, in this moment, you had a choice. You could continue to let the past define you, or you could embrace the uncertainty of this new connection that had the potential to bring you joy and happiness.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your decision lifting from your shoulders. With a newfound courage, you replied, "Heeseung, I had a wonderful time too. I'd love to see you again."

It was a leap of faith that turned out to be one of the best decisions you made. Heeseung treated you like you were a princess and for once, you felt like you were first place in someone’s life. 

Jake’s presence in your life was all but gone when he came crashing back in. 

“Let me know when you want to leave, okay?”

You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips when you heard the familiar words. It was something that Heeseung told you whenever you went out, to let you know that you could always find him when you wanted to go and he would leave without any questions asked. 

“I’ll let you know.” You promised as you entered the house. 

You didn’t know who’s house it was or who was even hosting the party. You could barely recognize some of the faces in the house, most already clearly drunk from the way they were swaying on their feet. 

It was Heeseung’s idea to come here but you didn’t mind. You trusted Heeseung and when it came to him, you were willing to try new thing and new scenes. His hand remained on your waist as he guided you through the house. 

The air smelled of alcohol and smoke. As you moved through the crowded house, the noise of conversations and music enveloped you. It was a chaotic scene, filled with flickering lights and the pulsating beat of the music. You could feel the energy in the air, a unique blend of excitement and recklessness that could only be conjured when you put together a bunch of drunk college kids. 

"Heeseung!" A voice called out from within the throngs of people, piercing through the ambient noise of the party. Heeseung's attention shifted as he turned to locate the source of the voice. You followed his gaze and noticed a figure pushing through the crowd, making their way toward you.

When the guy got closer, your heart dropped to your stomach. 

Jake stood before you, a shocked look on his face at the sight of you. 

“Y/N?” 

Heeseung glanced back and forth between you two, a surprised look on his face. “Do you two know each other?”

You feigned a smile, moving closer to Heeseung. “Yeah we went to school together.” It was so much more than that but you didn’t want to tell Heeseung the extent of your relationship with Jake. 

Jake’s eyes flickered from Heeseung to you before finally dropping to his arm wrapped around your waist. A flicker of understanding appeared on his face and you shuffled on your feet under the weight of his gaze. 

“That’s great! I don’t have to introduce you two then,” Heeseung beamed, completely oblivious to the tense air hanging over them. “Jake’s my roommate. And Jake this is my girlfriend, the one I was telling you about. It’s so crazy that you know each other already. Small world and whatever it is they say I guess.”

Heeseung had no idea. 

As Heeseung introduced you as his girlfriend, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you. The weight of the unspoken truth weighed heavily on your shoulders, and guilt gnawed at the edges of your conscience.

Smiling, you turned to Jake, mustering as much warmth as you could. "It's nice to see you again, Jake," you said, trying to sound genuine. “Really is crazy how you two are roommates huh?”

“Crazy.” He mumbled. 

Heeseung turned towards you. “I’m going to go get a drink, ok? I’ll be back soon I promise.” He gave you a peck on the cheek before leaving and you felt like you would burn up from the way Jake looked at you. 

You wished that you had been able to at get in at least one drink before Jake had showed up. You were way too sober for this situation. 

"I didn't expect to see you here," Jake finally broke the silence, his voice laced with a mix of curiosity and sadness. "How have you been?"

You took a moment to gather your thoughts, the conflicting emotions swirling within you. "I've been... okay," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "Life has been... complicated."

Jake nodded, a hint of understanding in his eyes. "Complicated... that's one way to put it."

“Where’s Minji?” You hoped that you were able to mask the bitterness in your tone. 

“We broke up. Right after graduation actually. She was cheating on me with Jay. You know him right? He was captain of the soccer team.”

You felt a pang of sympathy for your once best friend. “I do. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Your words were sincere. Whatever had happened between you two, you had never wanted anything bad to befall him. 

Jake nodded, his gaze shifting away for a moment before returning to meet yours. "Yeah, it was a tough time. But I've been trying to move on and focus on other things."

Silence settled between you for a moment, the weight of unspoken memories and unresolved feelings hanging in the air. The past had a way of resurfacing at unexpected moments, forcing you to confront the choices and consequences that led you to where you were now.

"Y/N, I have to ask," Jake began, his voice tentative. "What happened between us? I mean, we were... close. And then everything changed."

You laughed and this time you were sure he heard how bitter you sounded. “No Jake. You changed. You started dating Minji and I became your second choice. I was always there for you. I tried to be a good friend to you, the best friend. But you abandoned me as soon as you got someone else.”

Jake's expression shifted, a mix of regret and realization crossing his features. "Y/N, I messed up. I made a mistake by taking our friendship for granted, and I'm truly sorry for that. I never intended to hurt you or make you feel like a second choice."

Your voice wavered with a combination of hurt and anger. "It's not just about being a second choice, Jake. It's about how you treated our friendship when things got complicated. You distanced yourself, and I felt abandoned and replaced. It hurt."

Jake's gaze dropped, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his own remorse. "I can't change what happened, but I want you to know that I regret the way things turned out. Losing our friendship was a terrible loss for me."

The rawness of the emotions between you was palpable. Memories of shared laughter and moments of happiness flooded your mind, conflicting with the reality of the present. But when you saw Heeseung approaching you, your reality came crashing back. 

“It’s a little too late for that Jake.”

Heeseung's cheerful demeanor faltered for a moment as he sensed the tension in the air. He glanced between you and Jake, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Is everything okay?"

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. "Yeah, everything's fine," you replied, forcing a smile. "Jake and I were just catching up, that's all."

Heeseung looked unconvinced, his eyes lingering on both of you before he finally nodded. "Alright, if you say so." He turned to Jake. “We should all hang out together sometime, man. I’m sure you and Y/N have a lot to catch up on.” 

Jake nodded, his gaze fixed on the floor. "Yeah, maybe."

Heeseung's attention shifted back to you, concern etched on his face. "Y/N, are you sure everything's okay?"

You nodded, avoiding his gaze. "I'm just a little overwhelmed by the crowd and the noise. Maybe we should find a quieter place."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he gently took your hand. "Of course, let's go outside and get some fresh air."

As you walked away from Jake, a whirlwind of emotions and conflicting thoughts consumed your mind. Guilt gnawed at your conscience, but so did the longing for things to go back to how it was with Jake. You found yourself caught between the familiarity and comfort of your relationship with Heeseung and the unresolved feelings you had for Jake.

Outside, you and Heeseung found a quiet spot away from the clamor of the party. The cool night air washed over you, providing a momentary respite from the chaotic atmosphere.

Heeseung wrapped his arm around your shoulders, concern evident in his eyes. "Tell me what's really going on, Y/N. I can sense that something's bothering you."

You looked into Heeseung's eyes, your heart aching at the thought of hurting him. But the words that formed on your lips were not the whole truth. You couldn't bear the idea of losing him, not yet.

"It's nothing, Heeseung," you said, forcing a smile. "I guess seeing Jake just brought back some memories from highschool, but I'm happy now, and that's what matters. I don't want to dwell on the past."

Heeseung's brows furrowed, his grip tightening slightly. "Y/N, I want you to know that you can always be honest with me. I'm here for you, through thick and thin."

You nodded, fighting back the urge to spill the truth. "I know, Heeseung. And I appreciate that. But right now, I just need some time to process everything. I promise it's not anything serious."

Heeseung studied your face, searching for any signs of deception. After a moment, he sighed and pulled you into a gentle embrace. "Okay, Y/N. Take all the time you need. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

Tears stung the back of your eyes as you held onto Heeseung, grateful for his understanding and support. In that moment, you made a silent promise to yourself that you would find a way to resolve your feelings, to make a decision that would bring clarity and honesty to your relationships.

Deep down, you knew that the path ahead would be challenging and filled with difficult choices. But for now, you chose to hide the truth, hoping that time would bring at least some lucidity and guidance, and praying that your heart would find its way back to where it truly belonged.

“Heeseung?”

“Hmm?”

“I’d like to leave now.” 

He kissed your forehead, a soft touch of his lips that made your heart soar. 

“Anything you want.”

Seeing Jake had stirred up something in you, something that you thought had died long ago. Your mind was suddenly filled with memories that you hadn’t thought about in forever, memories of a boy that you were sure you would never see again. 

It was always accompanied with a rush of guilt - a silent apology for Heeseung who looked at you as if you hung the stars. The weight of your conflicting feelings laid heavy on your shoulders and you felt as if you might drown under it. 

It was as if the universe was playing a cruel joke on you, conjuring Jake up from your past just as you were starting to move on. The feelings that you thought you had locked up were begging to be let out, to be felt, to be heard. 

Jake being Heeseung’s roommate was another brutal twist of fate. 

When Heeseung asked you to come over for a date night, you didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Or maybe you could’ve and your answer was led by a part of you that wanted to see Jake again. Either way, when you showed up at his door that night, you were a ball of nerves. You wiped your sweaty palms on your pants before you knocked on the door. 

Heeseung opened the door and you felt… disappointed? No of course not, you scolded yourself. You did not want to see Jake. 

Heeseung greeted you with his warm smile and pulled you into a gentle hug, oblivious to the turmoil churning within you. 

"Hey, Y/N. I'm so glad you’re here. I’ve been looking forward to this" Heeseung said, his voice filled with genuine happiness.

You managed a smile, though it felt forced. "Me too, Heeseung."

As you stepped into the apartment, you couldn't help but glance around, half-expecting to catch a glimpse of Jake. The realisation that he was just a few feet away, possibly in his room, sent a shiver down your spine.

Heeseung led you into the living room, where soft music played in the background, creating an intimate ambiance. The smell of a home cooked meal wafted through the air and you noticed candles carefully placed around the room. Your heart melted - Heeseung had clearly put a lot of thought into this for you. 

“I cooked for us,” Heeseung told you nervously. “I hope you like it.” 

You gave him a peck on the lips, a smile on your face. “I already love it, Heeseung. Thank you.” You told him genuinely. 

As you settled down on the couch, your nerves slowly began to subside, replaced by a sense of appreciation for Heeseung's thoughtfulness. The flickering candlelight created a warm and intimate atmosphere, casting a soft glow on the room.

Heeseung sat beside you, his eyes filled with affection as he reached out to hold your hand. The weight of guilt and conflicted emotions still lingered within you, but for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to be present in this beautiful setting.

Heeseung's cooking was delicious and when you told him so, his cheeks heated up. The conversation flowed naturally between you, lighthearted and comfortable momentarily distracting you from your thoughts. As you shared stories and laughter, you noticed a faint sound coming from the hallway. Your heart skipped a beat, recognizing the familiar voice.

Before you could fully comprehend what was happening, Jake appeared at the entrance of the living room, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in the scene before him.

"Hey, guys. I didn't realize you were having a date night," Jake said, his voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and awkwardness.

Heeseung turned to look at Jake, momentarily taken aback. "Oh, hey, Jake. Yeah, we were just enjoying a quiet evening together. You're back early."

Jake shrugged. “Yeah I didn’t feel like staying out too late tonight.” 

“Well if you have nothing better to do then you’re welcome to join us.” Alarm bells rang in your head when you heard Heeseung’s invitation. Jake seemed to hesitate for you a second before he accepted, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. 

“Here, you can choose the movie.” Heeseung, ever the gracious friend, handed over the remote to Jake. He didn’t say anything as he flicked through the movie titles on screen before finally settling on something. Your eyes widened when you realised what movie it was. 

“This one.” He chose, staring pointedly at you.

“Y/N do you mind?” Heeseung asked you. 

You shook your head no. “It’s my favourite movie.” You told him. 

“That’s great then!” Heeseung seemed oblivious to the way Jake looked at you as the movie started. 

The first familiar scene started playing and you couldn’t help but feel wistful. Every scene, every line of dialogue reminded you of when you would watch it with Jake every weekend. The both of you had watched it so often you had memorised the lines and at some point it had become a game to see who would remember what line came next. You stole glances at him, his eyes fixed on the screen but his demeanour slightly distant.

Heeseung, engrossed in the movie, seemed oblivious to the emotional tension that lingered in the room. He occasionally leaned in to whisper a comment or share a smile with you, unaware of the conflicting emotions brewing within your heart.

Unable to handle the tension that crawled over you any longer, you excused yourself. “I have to go to the washroom.” You whispered to Heeseung before untangling yourself from him. 

He pointed at the hallway. “It’s the first door on the left.” 

You nodded, mustering a small smile, and made your way down the hallway. As you entered the bathroom, you took a moment to compose yourself, staring at your reflection in the mirror. 

You can do this Y/N. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door ready to go back to the movie. Instead, you were met with Jake waiting outside the bathroom. 

“Y/N… Can we talk?”

You looked at Jake, uncertainty and apprehension swirling in your mind. The last thing you wanted was to engage in a conversation that could potentially complicate your already conflicted emotions. The thought of opening up old wounds and facing the unresolved feelings from the past was overwhelming.

“What’s there to talk about Jake?” He winced as if you had slapped him with your words. 

“I want things to go back to the way it was before. I want us to be friends again.”

You almost laughed at his words. “Are you kidding me? You want us to be friends again after all that?”

You couldn’t help the words that came next. “And besides, I never thought of you as a friend anyways.”

The look of hurt on Jake’s face alerted you to what you had blurted out. Shit. 

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, the hurt evident in his voice. 

You sighed, realising how badly you messed up. But you couldn’t go back now. 

“I was in love with you Jake.” Your voice was soft when you spoke. “I was in love with you since the day I first met you when we were 10. I was still in love with you when you chose Minji over me. You were never just a friend to me.”

Jake's expression softened as he processed your words, a mix of surprise and regret crossing his face. He opened his mouth to speak but seemed at a loss for words.

"I... I didn't know," he finally managed to say, his voice filled with remorse. "I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. I never realized how you felt about me."

You looked at Jake, your eyes filled with a mixture of pain and vulnerability. "I know you didn't, Jake. And it's not entirely your fault. I never had the courage to tell you how I felt, and I allowed myself to believe that being just friends was enough. But it wasn't. It tore me apart to see you with someone else, but I couldn't blame you for choosing Minji. I couldn't blame anyone but myself for not speaking up."

Jake's eyes glistened with remorse as he reached out to touch your arm gently. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. If I had known, things might have been different. But I can't change the past."

You gently took his hand off of you. “I can’t ever just be friends with you Jake.”

As you turned to walk back towards the living room, Jake's voice called out behind you. "Y/N?"

You stopped but didn't turn around, waiting for him to speak.

"I never stopped caring about you. Even when we drifted apart, you were always in the back of my mind. And... I'm sorry."

Those words hung in the air, a bittersweet acknowledgment of the past. With a heavy heart, you continued your path back to the living room, where Heeseung awaited. The familiar warmth and comfort of his presence enveloped you as you sat down beside him.

Heeseung noticed the sombre look on your face and gently squeezed your hand. "Is everything okay, Y/N?"

You looked into his eyes, feeling a mix of gratitude and guilt. "Yes, Heeseung. Everything is fine."

Everything is fine. So why did it feel like your heart was torn in two?

[rocketturtle4]

Only Friends, Shipping Culture, Cross-Generational Differences, Themes and Endgame

Strap in, folks. This is a long one.

What finally pushed me to make this post was a very interesting discourse between @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and @twig-tea here around the way this show has subverted norms to a lesser extent than first hoped and how the fans themselves, and the creator’s interactions with these fans, have impacted the creation and completion of the show, as well as the way themes built through the series may now feel less clear after the latest episode.

I wanted to offer my understanding and perspective because it differs somewhat, but it is also very much informed by this post and the larger Tumblr discourse around Only Friends and shipping culture that this show has sparked. I will note, for the record, that I have been much busier since about episode 5 of OF than I had been for the first episodes (or than I was for BMF), so I have missed a lot more of the fascinating discourse that this show has sparked than I would wish.

Let’s do this.

Shipping Culture

I had never heard of this before joining Tumblr this year (in May) despite watching 50 BLs before that, due to being completely disengaged from the actors as individuals prior to joining Tumblr, and while Tumblr has opened my eyes to how much fanservice is part of these people’s lives and jobs and the problems surrounding that phenomenon. I remain largely disengaged from the actors personally. I do not have Twitter, Tik Tok or Instagram, I rarely watch BTS and even my revelation that First is the most beautiful man ever to exist (and I say that as a person who is both aro and ace) has only got me to watch one First & Khao Armshare interview (The Eclipse one). I have also never purchased merch or event tickets so I am in fact, not a good fan in terms of profit making or engagement.

I do, however, love the shows an awful lot and may engage with BTS more once I have fewer things to watch…

All this to say is that my firsthand knowledge of such things is limited at best, but I am still here to say:

I think Only Friends is doing excellent things here, even if all the ‘couples’ end up together.

Is it burning them to the ground like so many hoped? No, but I have watched 47 Thai BLs at this stage and not many of them explored relationships beyond the pairs in any way, shape or form, and OF HAS DONE THAT.

Of our main six characters, NONE of them have only kissed their “other half.” They’ve literally all at least made out with one other person from the core six, and thus far Mew, Boston and Nick have ALSO kissed other people.

This is, in my humble opinion, A PRETTY BIG DEAL.

I am currently watching Not Me (for the first time, haven’t finished, no spoilers please), and I have been informed somewhat reliably that the original novel included a Gram/Black plotline that was cut/altered (to Gram/Eugene/Black love triangle), and I posit that was due in part because they couldn’t have Gun even KISSING Mond even if he was also kissing Off. Black and White would have been a great way to shift things even a little by having the branded pair be together while ALSO having half the brand with someone else at the SAME TIME. Can you imagine??

And yet as recently as 2021 that didn’t happen.

Sometimes change takes time and patience and I think OF is doing really good work, even if it doesn’t go as far as we might wish.

EVEN IF all our branded pairs end up together unsubverted (which is not what I am hoping for but EVEN IF), this show will have still begun paving the way for more varied storylines and pairings in shows

The Clash of Generational Lenses

Speaking of the end game, lets talk about a little thing called hope.

I had a very interesting discourse back around, hmmm episode 6, with @shouldiusemyname and @plantsarepeopletoo , about the sheer confusion I felt about Tumblr’s idea that every one of these characters should end up apart simply because they’d done bad things or something? (this is extremely generalized. I was missing a lot of nuance from both Tumblr and my own lens hence the unpacking then and now).

Now I went into this show fully prepared for this to end sadly and I largely viewed this expectation of  sad as everyone ending up broken up and alone. I don’t normally watch sad by choice, but I was willing to try this one because Jojo’s stories are SO beautifully compelling that I knew it would be worth the journey. I have watched Love of Siam (not Jojo but sad) and Gay Okay Bangkok (complicated), two very different shows reflective of their times and their creators and from the beginning, Only Friends did not feel like those (although the links to Gay Okay Bangkok and the exploration of real queer relationships has been fascinating and I am very glad I watched that one before OF).

So why was there this, almost prescribed hopelessness, being projected onto these very young characters who were just in the process of finding themselves? Why were these young people’s flaws and choices so linked to the idea that they would end up alone?

Now @shouldiusemyname told me the following (in the context of a much wider discourse):

Ahhh I like this cos this is something I take very much for granted and I think it’s a generational gap thing. This is a reaction to the way we were brought up (again generalizing cos sometimes it’s necessary). There was no alternative to monogamy and being queer meant that you can’t have that for 2 reasons: 1.    Law doesn’t allow 2.    Socially unacceptable cos being gay was seen as what kind of sex you were having as opposed to relationships. If you don’t have the gay sex, you’re not gay. This is also the reason for being anti het norm. We couldn’t have that so we needed to find the alternative and have ALL of it.

We were both generalizing A LOT, but this idea was MIND BLOWING to me at the time.

(For the record I am born late 1990s, Shouldiusemyname is born early 1980s (and Plantsarepeopletoo is born late 80s so we have variety covered lol!))

Because while, (as @waitmyturtles for example has pointed out on multiple occasions) the imposition of purity culture and monogamy on queer culture (and in general) is wrong, the idea that no queer people are desiring commitment or monogamy is also wrong. (I am not here suggesting that even in an ideal world where queer people TRULY HAD equal rights they would magically all want monogamous long-term relationships because that’s just not true. In addition hets regularly oppose the het norm as well, long-term monogamous relationships are unwanted by many of them).

I come from a strong biological background (which unequivocally supports more than two sexes and more than two genders, do not come back here and make this about that, got it!) and am currently doing a PhD in Palaeontology so a lot of my relationship understanding is informed by a wider understanding of breeding, monogamy and nonmonogamy in reproduction across the animal and plant kingdoms just by exposure (and yes reproduction in the plant kingdom is very much included, some plants have both male and female parts, it’s fascinating!). And monogamy is present in a hugely wide range of species, it’s not soley something humans came up with just because of religious norms. Addtionally, there is the development of consistent monogamous and/or committed polygamous relationships (historically, most commonly men with multiple wives) across a huge number of cultures throughout history largely for the fostering of children. Most of this influence has been more irrelevant for the queer community because of their inability to produce children in monogamous pairs*, and children are a huge sticking point for the NEED for long-term stable relationships. So, without this sticking point (combined with the aforementioned factors around law and discrimination), relationships are viewed as less permanent. Thus, I had to unpack my own casual assumptions that relationships normally have a long-term goal. (*Generalizing hugely, obviously there are lots of variations that can produce biological children without assistance, but these points most strongly apply to same-sex relationships)

For example, I find the way this plays out in a show like What Did You Eat Yesterday particularly fascinating, and have realized since starting Season 2 that I had missed a lot of this subtext in the first season because, to me, the idea that the central couple would stay and grow old together was a given. PARTLY because of monogamous cultural lenses, but ALSO because they loved each other and wanted to be together, so why wouldn’t they assume they would stay and grow old together?

I also realized that I am further sheltered in this mindset by not just my age but by the acceptance of my wider family of non-marriage as a concept (or even just not having to have children) as normal and okay. My Grandfather (in his 80s) is one of 10 children and has multiple siblings (my great uncles/aunts) who 1 never married or 2 married but chose never to have children. While I am not going to pretend that my uncles/aunts were never judged for such things, that judgment was NEVER part of my upbringing and we visited my single and/or childless great-uncles just as often as those with children.

I seem to have gotten sidetracked…What is the wider point I am making here?

Ah yes

Only Friends is so interesting because it’s shot like it’s set in the 80s & 90s, before the turn of the millennia, with so much homage paid to the queer stories and reality that the youth of this time grew up with. But the generational change that the last two decades or so have brought is inarguably huge, and so these characters, all born after the turn of the century, are not truly from the world that, in some ways, it looks like they’ve been placed into. @wen-kexing-apologist did an extremely comprehensive post about gay cruising culture and Boston that was extremely relevant to his character and the story being told, but it also was a specific throwback to something that is different in the 2020s. Not because people like Boston don’t exist, but because the turn of the century brought with it so many things that make this exact thing more complicated.

And OF has been showing us why! Surveillance, SO MUCH surveillance, every character has been recorded or recorded other characters or shared recordings of other characters, sometimes all of the above, and this surveillance does have a deep impact on the relationships today’s young people engage in! Not just the queer community but all young people of today are under near constant scrutiny and surveillance, and the young people born in the last couple decades have grown up like this, queer or not.

One last thing to mention here is the specific, observable, phenomenon that has been going on in Thailand, it is clear when you look at media like Love of Siam (2008) and compare it to ITSAY (2020) (which I haven’t even seen yet gah but I still know this is a great example). The phenomenon of BL, for all its flaws, has wrought change in the psyche and culture of the people of Thailand, ESPECIALLY the young people, and this is absolutely informing our six main characters views on relationships because they would have gone through high school with this as a major part of their culture.

Themes and Endgame: I Think Hope is the Point

All this draws me back into how I think OF will end, because it’s been at the heart of the show throughout, and that is hopefully, Only Friends will end hopefully.

Jojo has (I believe) stated outright that his primary goal for this show was to represent his community in truth, the messy non-het non-monogamy of queer youths in their 20s has been playing out across our screens, but the thing that has been keeping my attention riveted on Only Friends is the heart of it all.

The journeys of growth and discovery on this show have been magnificent. @thegalwhorants has been pointing out the intentional parallels of language this show has been using to highlight some of that growth, and that is just one very interesting fraction of the way this show has used words, music (@plantsarepeopletoo), colours, styles and more to represent the transformation characters are going through as they grow into themselves before our eyes.

A few very brief examples:

Mew’s switch to wearing Ray’s wardrobe when he is trying not to care but cares so much about Top.

Ray’s changed wardrobe to match the style Sand picked out for him even as he tried to choose Mew and couldn’t, because he’s already moved on, even when he couldn’t accept it.

Nick’s whole makeover to catch Boston’s attention later even catching Dan’s attention and the way that in that scene with Boston outside in ep10, Nick had returned to his shorts and t-shirt because he finally felt seen the way he sees Boston.

One’s sense of self is often built in part, around their relationships (family, friends, sexual and romantic), ESPECIALLY in collectivist cultures, and so much of our 20s involves growing and learning who you are through these relationships. I have seen arguing about toxic friendship groups and how they all need to just let each other go, and maybe that is the best endgame, I don’t know. Sometimes, growing together can be so much stronger, and sometimes, growing apart is the only way to move forward.

But these last two eps in particular (but honestly every moment of this show) have left me with the feeling that hope is the point. Because things HAVE changed, the world is moving and the things possible in 2023 are often utterly unthinkable to the youth of the 1980s, 1990s and before. The world is growing, acceptance and love have always been there but, surveillance or no, it’s so much easier to find now.

To be queer is no longer to be isolated, not in the way it once was, it is not a sentence of aloneness. Nor a stamp of irrevocable pain. Are things good now? HECK NO, you look at any statistic: homelessness, mental health, suicide rate, poverty; Being queer makes your life harder.

No matter how hard you try things might get worse and while that’s true for all people, queerness compounds that and often makes the consequences of your choices harder through isolation.

But the isolation is less now and I think OF wants to show that

You may do many things and sometimes these things will hurt no matter how careful you are, Not caring isn’t the point, Not feeling isn’t the point, God every character on this show feels so MUCH

This episode had moments of complete heartbreak

Complete regret

And complete Joy

And there is much more still to come

So when I think about endgame, I think about hope, and the lessening of isolation for all, and this does not mean 3 perfectly happy couples in perfect monogamous relationships wrapped up with a neat little bow, It means six individuals who have learned and grown through friendship and love, this may mean healed relationships, it may not, this may mean healed friendships, it may not. (It may mean Top, Mew and Boeing in a throuple but maybe I’m the only one hoping for that lol). We’ve clearly got more drama and pain to come but I am confident now that things will end with hope.

I do not know how Jojo and co will show that, but I trust them, and I can’t wait to find out.

[taylortruther]

I want the entire cardigan demo explained. I still don’t think she had the characters of james, august, and betty in mind when she wrote the song, especially since it’s the first one she worked on with aaron. I’ve always believed that story came later when she and joe wrote betty together, and she changed certain parts of cardigan and august to create a cohesive narrative. ‘Peter leaving Wendy’ and ‘Peter losing Wendy’ are two very different lines, and it makes me think she changed the lyric to the latter to make it fit into the love triangle where betty is more mature than james. ‘I knew I’d wish you would’ve changed your mind?’ ‘I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs?’ the original lyrics make it sound like he didn’t want to be with her/changed the ending where they stay together or perhaps where wendy outgrows him by cheating and leaving. saying she knew all of this makes it sound like she’s already experienced all of those emotions upon reflection, and they got back together. she’s imagining what she might think about this situation years down the road as she looks back on how they ultimately couldn’t stay away from each other. ‘I knew you’d miss me once the moment died’ seems to imply he left to be with someone else but realized he’d actually lost ‘the one.’ all of these lyrics add context to ‘your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in’ and ‘what you did was just as dark.’ granted, I’m not even necessarily saying all of this happened in 2019-20. maybe she was looking back on when they first fell in love. but idk, I feel like we’re missing some information about something major that she felt the need to write about but couldn’t address directly without creating some sort of narrative around it. I guess the main thing that gives me pause is that we SAW them so often in 2018-19, but that logic is so flawed? you don’t actually know what’s going on in their lives even if you make educated guesses. they were insanely private after all. idk idk. thonking

i would really love a deep dive from her for these reasons too! the perspective from which betty is writing is REALLY interesting. like, yeah, why is she reflecting on a teenage moment as an adult? did it happen again? her grieving sounds so PRESENT, not just reflective.

also thank you for thonking as usual.

[annalebeaus]

What do you think of all the Romy vs. Rogneto drama in X-Men 97?

In short, I find it all super unnecessary.

In long… Yeah here is a super long rant with all my thoughts about it, thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it anon!😁

I’m a huge Rogue and Gambit shipper but I enjoyed Rogue and Magneto in comics as well. I think they were written really well in X-Men Legacy and I loved how healthy even their break up was.

I even enjoyed them in the show for the first 2 episodes and was excited until it seemed like the love triangle was Rogue’s only storyline and it made both Magneto and Gambit act out of character. I don’t like love triangles to begin with and this one was done… very badly and it did nothing but fuelled misogyny against Rogue. And when it comes to characterizations; Rogue would not hide things about her love life from Remy & Remy would not act like a loser about Magneto and most importantly Magneto would not be arguing with Remy over Rogue. Bad characterization all over for a storyline they decided to add for some reason.

Then episode 5 happened and every good feeling I had towards Rogneto’s show version disappeared completely.

First of all they changed Magneto and Rogue’s history completely and that flashback scene in episode 5 made me feel so incredibly uncomfortable, I don’t think it was the intention but the end result was literal grooming. The teacher/student relationship, the power dynamic between them, the age difference, Rogue’s relationship history and powers were all very…. icky.

All in all, I’m not really a fan of the change they made, if they stuck to the comics it would be fine but their relationship is just plain creepy in the show.

People keep saying “it happened in comics” which is true but also not at all because in comics Rogue and Magneto could touch because Rogue had no powers in Savage Land, they met when Magneto saved her life by separating her personality from Carol, they weren’t in a sexual relationship together until X-Men Legacy which was in 2008 so yeah.

My final thoughts on this “love triangle” is that I hope they never bring it back up again for all the characters’ sake.

And lastly, I really hate how this love triangle opened up a misogynistic hate campaign against Rogue. It was obvious from the beginning Rogue and Gambit were not together but people didn’t get the hint and called her a cheater among a lot of stuff that is slutshaming and even though the last episode cleared up the air completely by making Remy say they were never offical and Rogue implying she and Magneto were not back together at all, people with 0 media literacy who love to self-insert keep going. You can feel bad for Remy but if you start talking shit about Rogue, then I’m not even listening to you.

Sorry for the long answer anon and I’m aware I kinda got out context as well but oh well.. Hope you have a good day!

[sillyyuserr]

terukane analysis, and/or just random stuff, i have too many prompts in drafts but they’re too small to be their own analysies so they’re here pt. 2 💫

I already made one of these a bit ago, so if theres anything not here it’s either in that other one, or i just haven’t covered it (yet)

Item A: “I like Akane-san”

When teru says this, it comes out differently in every language. And seemingly equally ambiguous which i find interesting

for example, in the french translation of this line, teru says "I love you more than you might think akane" rather than saying “i like akane-san” and i mean having a mistranslation here is obviously something, but what he actually says is just what?

“i love you more than you might think akane” EXCUSE ME??

also not to mention “san” is gender neutral. He very well could be calling akane by his first name and them (akane & nene) misunderstanding what he said. Although he does refer to aoi as “akane-san”, the translators wouldve translated it to “aoi” instead of “akane” if he was referring to her (or not, im not completely sure on how they do the translation 😭)

Item B: queer association

(Edit: Im fucking dumb and forgot to add the panel of that one dude yelling “no i want to be his boyfriend!” But i can’t find it for the life of me so pretend its here)

not only is this one of the only canon queer characters in tbhk, (my guy only got one panel 💔) but also this associates “queerness” or wtv that means with teru

along with akane mentioning both genders being attracted to teru. Again, associating queerness with him. And you may be wondering, why is this important? well, notice how out of all of the main and/or reoccurring characters, he is one of the ONLY characters to be associated with queerness. (The only others being kou; his friends teasing him about wanting to “undress mitsuba” and akane; the whole yamabuki thing) for example, take note of how scarily popular aoi is because of her beauty, shes like a literal god, everyone loves this girl, but notice how never once has a girl ever confessed to her? actively not associating her with queerness, unlike teru.

and notice how the other characters that are associated with queerness are kou, who (its pretty much been canonized atp) has romantic feelings for his male friend mitsuba, and AKANE. The guy i swear he has a crush on like cmon now AidaIro can you be more obvious

Item C: reoccurring patterns

in tbhk, all of the confirmed/obviously implied romantic relationships between the main characters have been supernatural x human, hanako and nene, mitsuba and kou, akane and aoi, excluding only teru and aoi. But this does not exclude teru and akane, almost showing us that in the love triangle between teru, akane and aoi, it may not be revolving around which one gets with aoi, but which one gets with akane. It seems as though teru x aoi was never an option from the start.

Although teru has said he likes aoi, his actions say otherwise. for example teruaoi’s conversation in the convenience store was obviously extremely awkward, the only non-awkward part being when he helped her out of that creepy interaction with the clerk.

And the face he made when akane asked/assumed he had a crush on aoi

(Which he never definitively answered)

The point of this section was because of these reoccurring patterns we can conclude akane is the main love interest, not aoi.

Item D: their relationship

Something teru likes about akane, is how no matter what he doesn’t seem to ever give up. Which yes in some aspects this can be a bad thing, coff coff

But most times, you can kind of tell this is a big reason he likes akane, almost like a “he pushes him down, he gets back up” kind of thing, its a big part of their dynamic. If akane wasn’t like this, their dynamic would change a lot. He likes this because as stated in the spinoff, he kind of uses akane as a “stress toy” (which has obviously changed, as their relationship did when the series progresses) but he likes this because at the end of the day, akane will come back. No matter how many times he ties akane up, he returns to the student council room. No matter how many times teru pushes akane down (in this example, literally) he gets back up.

Something i like about terukane, is their relationship. The trust and motivation they give one another. For example, its shown early on Teru has disassociates himself from other people. Teru views the living as “delicate” and kind of makes it his job to protect them from supernaturals (when i say he made it his job i mean his dad did). He was raised to have a very different view towards the living vs supernaturals. Rounding this back to Terukane, teru doesn't view akane as “fragile” like other people, and I think that's something to take note of. The reason he thinks like this could definitely tie into the fact that he’s half supernatural but also he views akane in a higher regard then most people. Akane keeps up with him, teru actually acknowledges this, saying he values his intelligence and enjoys talking to him. 

Its kind of been shown teru has had a hard time making friends ever since grade-school, i mean yeah he talks to people, but the only people he’s lowered his guard around has been tiara and kou (siblings), and akane. A literal supernatural (the kind of person this guy is supposed to exterminate??) Literally what makes akane so special? This guy is the most popular person in THE school, second to none, and the only person besides his family that he can let his guard around is akane? They both work in the student council, president and vice president meaning they work in extremely close quarters, everyday, giving them lots of time to talk, so its no doubt they became close, but out of everyone, teru choosing akane to put his trust in is just odd to me idk man

Item E: bringing up each other alot

in many instances, teru and akane bring eachother up when they aren’t even involved in the current situation, or unintentionally show us they think about eachother more than we think they do, a few examples:

Teru talking ab akane to his family. Call me insane but i have alot to say ab this one. This one really gets me because that would mean throughout his entire way home from school, including if he fought off supernaturals on his way back (which he seems to do pretty much everyday), from the last time he saw akane, he had to have been thinking about him the entire time. Since they are in the student council they stay together for most of the day when its not their extra/curricular classes or lunch, meaning they probably stayed together until about an hour after school ended, and according to google

School ends around 3:50 to 4pm and their after school activities last until around 6pm. In one chapter i forget which one, kou complains about his brother not being home much and whenever he is home he’s usually sleeping or too sleepy to answer him properly, (and in art of their ‘home life’ teru is always either sleeping or sleepy) because of his constant fighting with supernaturals well into the evening. Now lets assume at this point teru has left the school building, and about a few (5) minutes down the sidewalk and he runs into supernaturals, fights them off yadayadayada, at this point it’s presumably now 6:30-6:40, now lets also assume they live about a few (5) blocks away from the school, one block presumably taking 5 minutes each, times the 5 blocks they live away, taking approximately 25 minutes to half an hour to walk, plus the additional time he took to exorcise the supernaturals on his way home, which by this point we can probably assume its 7-7:20 now which is around an hour after families/people usually make dinner, we can assume he gets home at the 7-7:20 mark, sits down with tiara and kou to have dinner when this panel was shown

Meaning for an esitmated two and half, to three consecutive hours, akane was on teru’s mind. Thats a pretty long time to be thinking ab someone teru. I know what you are

(it says “Aoi is coming too.”) him blushing while talking ab his bf

akane having a literal DREAM about him. I havent had dreams with life long friends in them so to have a dream about this boy you “hate” is.. hmmm

Innermost subconscious feelings you say? okay okay so not queer at all yk so buddy so bro of them

Item F: the original plot

tbhk was originally going to be a oneshot manga featuring the love triangle between akane, lemon and aoi but later was cancelled, and in the official manga, they made lemon and akane “fall in love”

obviously as a joke but that shows AidaIro is not oblivious to the idea/premise of the two boys instead falling in love with eachother, rather than the girl, so the idea (i talked more ab in a past analysis) of teru&akane getting together rather than teru&aoi or akane&aoi getting together is ON THE TABLE

would add more but i fear this will take me too long💔 new chapter next week yall prepare urselfs

[kitramune]

Hello!

Fellow inukagger here *shakes your hand* I noticed your tags on an inuyasha video edit post where you stated inuyasha was seeing kagome during their almost first-kiss. I want to believe this soo badly, but I have actually made a post where I argue the opposite bc that’s (unfortunately) my interpretation.

I would genuinely love to hear why you think this as I’m more than happy to be convinced 🥺❤️ If you’ve posted about it before, apologies that I haven’t seen it; please kindly drop a link.

Thank you very much! (It’s all 🫶🏼 and interest in civil discussion, certainly not looking to start anything otherwise)

Sure thing! I think there's a lot of misconception firstly because Kagome herself says this. That he hates her for looking like Kikyou, but when he looked at her in that moment, it looked loving, so she herself put two and two together that he must still be seeing her as Kikyou, but therefore have been in love with Kikyou. Which is partially true in that we know he did have feelings for her back when she was alive. (I have my own InuKik-critical perception on this, but that's a whole other rant and probably not what you're asking.) But I think it's VERY important to keep in mind that Kagome is an Unreliable Narrator in her own story here, particularly where it comes to interpreting Inuyasha's feelings at times. This holds true for pretty much the entire story, but particularly early on, when she doesn't know him as well. First off, I'm going to fast-forward slightly to give examples of Inuyasha himself making it clear he does NOT see Kagome as Kikyou, to prove my point that he's not lying when he tells her so at the almost-kiss. Keep in mind a lot of these are only available in the source material and the anime DID cut them to fuel love triangle drama. The manga is the original intended canon, so that's what I'll be going with for this entire conversation.

(Let it be said that as far as Japanese subtleties are concerned, he is asking Kagome to date him, here.)

For the sake of argument, let's look back at this "very beginning" he mentions, and how long it took him to realize Kagome LOOKED a bit like Kikyou, but was not Kikyou:

Well that was quick. He does compare them a few times after this, but it's always about how different they are. (Usually to be rude, but let's face it, this is early Inuyasha.)

(I include this "comparison" just because he's RELIEVED here at Kagome NOT being Kikyou. It's the first explicit indication that he likes her for her and would be heartbroken if the girls got switched.)

(Then he proceeds to make it even more explicit, and even Kaede spells it out.)

He completely stops comparing them in any capacity after this, and the way he does it says to me that he sees and values them very differently IN SPITE of the slight physical resemblance, not BECAUSE they look alike.

"But Kit!" I hear you say, "These examples are meaningless because they are AFTER he tried to kiss her!" Well I disagree his feelings would have changed that drastically in the small amount of time given the context, but let's still look at all InuKag have been through at this point. I'll just do a montage of Inuyasha feeling pride or affection for Kagome in said arcs because I am self-indulgent like that, lol.

(My boy did not need to protect her, here. If she was gone, he'd be free of the beads and thus free to just take the Jewel. He did it purely out of valuing her life in some capacity.)

(Knowing her scent already? Lending her your only armor just so she won't get hurt? Why Inuyasha, that's not extremely intimate at all!)

(I find him saying her name significant not just because of differentiating her from Kikyou in his mind, but in that Inuyasha doesn't say ANYONE'S name unless they are important to him. Exceptions.)

("I refuse to get involved!" *Kagome's in trouble, immediately gets involved*)

(I love this arc overall SO MUCH cuz they not only have their first friendly pouty BFFs spat, but Inuyasha then immediately comes running to save her after smelling her blood THROUGH SPACE AND TIME, and is so desperate to be relied on cuz it makes him feel good to protect her and he's realizing that.)

(Lest we forget he had SOMETHING TO TELL HER right before threading their fingers extremely intimately.)

(Inu wasn't in this arc much but he WAS very worried and impressed with her.)

(I could honestly put the WHOLE spider head arc in here and gush about every detail of their character development, but we all know the highlight and I think Rumiko put it best in the Profiles Book that Inuyasha had never encountered or thought of anyone who would be saddened by his death before. I truly believe this is when he decided to open up and give his budding feelings for her a chance to bloom. And more importantly for this particular argument, decides NOT TO LIE to her again.)

And it's at this point we come to him trying to kiss her. It's true Inuyasha's emotions are slightly volatile from Kikyou being brought up. It's a definite sore spot, which even Kagome picks up on. Kagome asks point blank if he still sees her as Kikyou and hates her for it. To which he says she has it all wrong.

Considering her previous statement was if he HATES her, we can pretty easily infer that he's answering that directly, here. As in, no, he does not. Reading into context clues and what we see before and after this moment, I'd go so far as to say he's implying he LOVES her, here. Or at least is beginning to realize he likes her much more than as a friend. The last arc was huge for him, let's not forget that. He'd never ever been vulnerable like that with anyone: both in letting them know his night of weakness, and emotionally. All signs point to him having realized he's fallen for Kagome pretty hard and is ready to finally LET himself fall. (Though clearly Kagome's not quite ready herself, yet.) I'd argue that Kikyou's resurrection arc and the arcs following shortly after that I linked moments from earlier are there to just cement that he doesn't see her as Kikyou to any viewers who are still skeptical. In the manga anyway, we're never shown Inuyasha pining for Kikyou or wishing she was back to life. Quite the opposite, he only wishes her to rest in peace and reach Nirvana, which he has said to her more than once. The closest we get is this line right after the resurrection arc comes to an end and Kikyou's presumed dead from the cliff:

Which I personally interpret as him still being heartbroken, yes, but the fact he brings up the idea of falling for another woman tells me he's still mulling over how he has romantic feelings for Kagome, and his trauma regarding romance making him wonder if he should backpedal on that or give up his initial goal that was a symptom of his heartbreak in the first place. (As in, he immediately stole the Jewel after Kikyou betrayed him essentially to make the hurt go away as soon as possible. Also note this is AFTER the almost-kiss, right before Miroku makes his appearance.) So I have a pretty hard time believing that he suddenly decided to lie to Kagome right after his entire breakthrough night of vulnerability with her, and how that affected him. Also keep in mind that Kagome doesn't have concrete feelings for Inuyasha yet, so there is no jealousy or lack of confidence where Kikyou is concerned at the point of time in question. One could (shakily imo) argue that he might lie to protect her feelings later on, when he's worried about her becoming angry or jealous, but he has no such reason to lie, here. Therefore I believe he's being extremely genuine, and probably the most genuine he's been so far since he decided to abandon his previous lie about disliking her scent. I truly think he wanted to find out what kissing was like with this spitfire girl who'd run away with his heart already and made him feel and share things he'd never felt or shared with anyone. I hope this at least elaborated on why I see that scene the way I do! If you have questions or want me to discuss an aspect of it further, don't hesitate to hit up my inbox again! I'm happy to share my thoughts on the series and especially InuKag!