#which is probably seven minutes too long for it not to be weird

[benisasoftboi]

The 100% True and Real Reason It Took Ages to Get a Ghosts Series 4 Release Date

Realised I never shared this little internet misadventure of mine and some people might potentially find it funny. 

(I have never typed the word ‘feet’ so many times in one go before. Slightly worried it might seem a bit suspect. This is very out of character for me.)

So a few months ago I’m on here, or maybe it was Twitter, it’s not important, and I’m scrolling and see a screenshot someone’s posted of one Mathew Baynton at an event. I check the comments to see where it was taken. One of the commenters says that they don’t like his shoes. I scroll back up to see what’s wrong with them (nothing, as far as I can tell, but then I don’t know anything about men’s shoes), and in doing so I notice something odd.

In this photo, his feet look... small? Like, weirdly small, proportionally speaking? I’ve never really looked at his feet before (I don’t, as a rule, look at people’s feet full stop - bit weird), but now I’ve seen this it’s doing my head in, because have they always been small and I just never, since 2009, noticed, or is this just a weird angle, or???

I text my best mate about it.

My friend has no such qualms and, determined to solve this mystery, immediately heads to WikiFeet, everyone’s favourite somewhat creepy one stop shop for all celebrity foot concerns. He makes an alarming discovery!

To be clear, that is so big that it is well off the US-UK shoe size conversion charts, which generally only go as high as US Men’s 16, if that. From what I can tell, a US Men’s 22 would be roughly a UK 21. This is very funny to us.

And, yes, we know it’s clearly a typo. But I want to get an idea of just how absurdly big that would be, so I decide to look up the shoe size of the biggest man I can think of - Taskmaster’s own Greg Davies, who is 6′8″ and built like a titan.

And it turns out that Greg Davies, according to an interview, wears UK size 13. Which the mathematically savvy among you will note is 8 sizes smaller than WikiFeet’s claim about Baynton. So that’s a bit alarming. 

It’s clear I’m going to need to take another route here, then, if I ever want to figure out just what WikiFeet is claiming, so I do some googling. The largest shoe size ever in the world was US 37AA, belonging to Robert Wadlow, the tallest man to ever live, 8′11″ at time of death in 1940. Apparently he had an extremely rare hormone disorder. Genuinely interesting. Something good and educational has come of this! Anyway, clearly we’re not quite at that level. But is there someone who had US 22? Someone living, even? Yes, in fact, there is.

It’s American basketball star Shaquille O’Neal. 

Just to really hammer home the point, Shaquille O’Neal is 7′1″. Mat Baynton is 5′10″. If this were true, the poor man would, proportions-wise, look like he was permanently smuggling giant Toblerones in his shoes. Which would not be a good look for national television. 

And so my friend and I have come to the conclusion that WikiFeet was right, actually, and the reason we’ve only just now got a release date is that 90% of each series of Ghosts’ post-production is dedicated to painstakingly editing every shot of his feet so that they look normal. And they never know how long it’ll take to get it all done.

(As for that original picture, I think it really was just a weird angle.

Or, you know. His photoshop team were having an off day.)

(I still don’t know the man’s real shoe size. No one tell me.)  

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — final part

pairing: modern!actor!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k words

warnings: explicit language, angst

summary: you and steve finally have the long overdue conversation that probably should've happened days before filming ended and not at the wrap party. but better late than never, right?

CHAPTER SEVEN | ❝𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆❞

“We’re in the home stretch. Tomorrow’s it.”

It was a bit difficult to pinpoint what exactly Jessie’s words did to you at that moment. On one hand, you were happy that filming would be done tomorrow because it was always satisfying seeing all of the hard work that had been done by the cast and crew get wrapped up in what felt like a pretty bow. 

And then on the other hand, from a more personal standpoint, it was hard to feel truly happy about it all because of where things currently were with you and Steve; this weird and distant place that when you thought about it too hard only confused you. You had the strongest feeling that you wouldn’t see him again, or even simply talk to him, once filming was done, and although you liked to pretend that that didn’t matter to you, you still found it hard to make peace with that fact. 

You took a long sip from your morning coffee and decided not to think about him right then. 

Jessie continued on. “And depending on how today goes, we might even be able to end a bit early tomorrow.”

The two of you were currently walking to the complete other side of set because a scene was being filmed in twenty minutes and since you weren’t needed anywhere else right then, you decided to watch.

“That’s great,” You said, nodding at her words. 

“Anyway, though, I feel like I’ve barely gotten to see you lately so I haven’t been able to tell you this, but you’ve been doing so fucking great these past three months,” She told you before taking a bite from the bagel she had in hand. “I have no idea what I would do if you weren’t coming to Europe next month.”

You let the happiness that Jessie’s words managed to hit you with wash over you— it was a nice contrast from the sadness you’d been feeling lately that you masked as indifference— and you fully embraced her words. As that next stage started getting closer you felt more and more excited for it. You were ready to be in a completely different place, far away from where it felt like your personal life was on somewhat of a downward spiral. Over the past few days, you’d come to the conclusion that you were better off keeping work as your sole priority. 

Although it had actually been simple finding some sort of work-life balance when your and Steve’s “arrangement” started and most of your evenings and nights became filled with him— you realized that you didn’t have to fully consume yourself in your work to still be good at it, and everything Jessie had just said to you only further confirmed that— now you didn’t care about having any sort of balance. Because focusing only on your current job and also what you’d be doing next in Europe made it easier to not think about anything else. And that had especially been useful this past week because you truly didn’t want to think about anything aside from work— not about Steve and how easily everything with him went to shit, not about how it all hurt you so much more than you’d allow yourself to admit, and definitely not about the lingering regret you’d been feeling although you also believed that what you’d done was ultimately for the best. 

Of course, you knew that shoving it all down and not facing it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, and perhaps a conversation between you and Steve was sorely needed, but you were upset with him, even a little angry. And then you were also equally upset at yourself, which made you really not want to say anything to him or even think about the situation. 

“Thanks, I’m a little scared but also so ready for it,” You said and then didn’t hesitate to say your next words. “I really can’t wait to get out of LA.” 

“You and me both, honestly,” Jessie said with a quick nod. Before she could say anything else, she was pulled into a conversation with the Director of Photography about her thoughts on how the scene should be set up; what kind of shots she wanted, etc. 

As they talked, you simply looked around and let yourself take everything in for a second; watching the various crew members move about, some putting final touches on the set and others talking to the handful of extras and prepping them. It was the fact that everyone was essentially working together to achieve the same vision that made you smile. 

This was what you loved, this was what you would never get tired of. It was what made it all worth it in your eyes. To you nothing was as important as being a part of this. 

Barely a second later, Steve walked onto set and your mind quickly reminded you that he was in the scene that was about to film, which immediately washed away your smile and your happiness was replaced with that familiar feeling of indifference. 

You couldn’t even remember the last time you had an actual conversation with him. He would really only talk to you when he needed something, and it was in those moments that you were reminded you were still his assistant, because when you were actually friends with him it didn’t really feel that way. Until two days ago when Max, his new and more long term assistant, took over, so then actually needing things from you became a rarity. 

It didn’t take long for your gazes to meet, somehow it was still startlingly easy to lock eyes with him in a crowded room, and for the briefest of moments nothing was said or done. 

Until you gave him a small curt nod and a half smile, and then walked away, quickly deciding that being anywhere else was more important to you right then. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Production wrap parties had always been your favorite. Seeing the entire cast and crew come together to celebrate the work that had been done over the past few months always warmed your heart. It almost felt as good as watching the final product of the movie.

However, this time you couldn’t find the heart to enjoy the party like you normally would, and it was fully because of Steve. 

The party was happening in one of the Executive Producers' huge homes in Hollywood Hills, but apparently the house was not big enough for you and Steve to not see each other. There was some sort of dance of avoidance happening between you two in the expansive dining room area that the majority of the party was taking place in— walking around each other and pretending as if the other didn’t exist as you both got pulled into various conversations. That painfully went on for almost an entire hour until Steve apparently got tired of the dance and game of pretend and finally went up to you. 

You were alone, probably for the first time since you showed up at the party, and you were standing by one of the many floor-to-ceiling windows admiring the view of the city. He lightly tapped your shoulder to grab your attention, and it felt almost insane how easily you were able to tell it was him simply by his touch.

“Hey…” He said as you turned around to face him. “Can we talk?”

There was something about that three worded question that made you confused and the tiniest bit angry. 

“Now you want to talk?” You asked, keeping your voice level as you spoke because you didn’t want anyone to focus on you and him, but you still narrowed your eyes at him. “After a week of nothing but radio silence?” 

“I know, and I fully deserve you being mad at me right now,” He said softly. “But, please.”

You hated that somehow the look on his face and softness in his tone managed to loosen your resolve, making you ultimately nod at him. “Okay.”

It immediately became an unspoken understanding that this long overdue conversation couldn’t happen right here in this open space where there was potential for anyone to interrupt at any moment. And luckily right then everyone else was seemingly in a world of their own so they didn’t notice you and Steve heading down a random hallway and walking into the first room you saw. It was one of the many bedrooms that you assumed was in this house and you quickly noticed the sliding door that led to the balcony attached to the room. 

You walked out onto it and Steve followed you. After taking a quick breath, glad to have some fresh air filling your lungs because it somehow made things a bit more bearable, you looked at him. “So… let’s talk?”

You didn’t necessarily know what you expected him to say or how this conversation would begin, maybe with some unimportant and forced small talk that would feel weird because there was a point where the two of you were so far past that. However, you definitely didn’t expect him to immediately start with “I’m sorry.”

“I’m so fucking sorry for this past week, and avoiding you and pushing you away,” Steve said and you could only look at him, slightly stunned by his apologetic words. “I thought I was completely okay with what you said that night at your apartment, the last time we really talked, about us just being friends and nothing more, but…” He trailed off with whatever he was about to continue with, which made you both confused and curious. 

“What?” You asked softly, breaking through his thoughts. You desperately wanted to hear everything that was going through his mind. 

“You said that you didn’t want us to be real and that you could never see us being anything more. And I felt like such an idiot for feeling the complete opposite way,” His gaze was off of you and instead he was looking straight ahead. “And it was just too hard to see you and pretend that everything was fine.”

And there it finally was, the “why” behind him pushing you away that you had desperately wanted to know, and it was a “why” that actually made so much sense because you knew that if the roles had been reversed you would have done the same thing.  

His words, especially the first part of them, also reminded you that you weren’t completely innocent in this situation. Because what you said to him that night, which became the main reason why he’d been so distant, wasn’t true. 

“I’m really sorry too,” You said, which made him look at you again and you could see that he was confused why you were apologizing right then. “I lied… I honestly really do see it; us being more, being real. I could see it so goddamn easily sometimes and it made me want it even more. There were so many moments over that past month where it all felt too real and like everything we were doing meant something more than just sex or just a friendship. Especially when you surprised me for my birthday. That was the best thing that happened to me in a long time. And actually, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you started speaking again. “Also, it was dumb of me to think that the sex part of it ending wouldn’t really matter because we’d still have the friend part and everything would pretty much stay the same. Because nothing will ever be like these past three months, and specifically the last five weeks. We’re not gonna see each other as often anymore and it’ll be rare if we’ll even be able to talk as much. It’s all gonna be so different.”

It was as if everything that you had forced yourself not to think about this past week was coming out at full force as word vomit. You had no idea how much sense any of what you were saying made, but you hoped it all would lead to some sort of point in the end. 

“Why did you lie that night?” He asked, and it was the question you should’ve been expecting to hear. 

“Every time I thought about us being more I would tell myself that us being together in that way wouldn’t make sense; our lives are so different. So, I thought it would be easier to lie to you because then you couldn’t try and convince me that somehow we do make sense together,” You answered. “But, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t regretted lying and not taking it all back. Right when you left, I wanted to run up to you and tell you the truth.”

He glanced at you for a brief moment and then just as quickly looked away. “I wish you did.”

“I do want something more with you. I fully want something real,” You told him, letting those honest words fall from your lips for the first time ever. “But, the thought of trying something and it all ending horribly scares me so fucking much and makes me not want to even take that chance… And I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, it scares me too.”

The question of “So, where do we go from here?” lingered in the cool air and neither of you had a clear answer to it. Was it possible for the two of you to actually and solely be just friends after admitting you have feelings for each other? If you were being a thousand percent honest with yourself, you weren’t entirely sure. 

You leaned back against the closed sliding door and let your thoughts run. Things were quiet between you and Steve, but it wasn’t the awkward kind. Instead, it felt as if both of you were fully consumed by your own thoughts right then and neither of you really knew what to say. And then, at the same time, you two also didn’t want whatever this moment was to end just yet. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity but also the complete opposite, you spoke. “I’m kinda just realizing this now, but even though we never admitted it to each other or probably even thought about it ourselves, I think we were in some sort of a real relationship. Because honestly the only thing missing was the label; we were doing practically everything else two people in a relationship would do. And I think that’s why you avoiding me and barely talking to me felt so much more devastating than I’d like to admit. It felt like the worst break up, and I never want that to happen again.”

Steve was quiet for a few moments. It was easy to tell that he was thinking, fully letting everything you just said sit with him. You didn’t have to fully verbalize it for him to know what you wanted, and more specifically what you didn’t want. 

“You’re right,” He finally said, eyes meeting yours. “This past week has been so shitty. I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I’ve missed you too. I was also mad at you and confused, but I really did miss you.”

“How badly did I ruin our friendship?”

You shook your head at his question. “Not bad enough. In my eyes, you’re still my best friend.”

“You’re mine too,” He said and then after a beat of silence said his next words. “Let’s just keep it that way.”

You only looked at him for a second before asking, voice soft and quiet, “Are you sure?”

You didn’t want him agreeing to something that only you saw as right and things ending up just like they had before. You knew that you couldn’t bear the past week having any kind of a part two. 

Steve nodded at you. “Yes, I think we’d be better off as friends. I want you in my life forever.”

“I hope you know what it means now that you just said that,” You told him, a small smile playing on your lips. “You’re never getting rid of me.” 

He smiled at you, it was the kind of smile that you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever from him and you’d forgotten how much you missed it. You got the sudden urge to kiss him, which startled you because this, what you two just decided on, didn’t involve that, and you quickly realized that it would be hard to learn to not want that even a little bit anymore.  

You pushed away everything you were feeling and then closed a bit of the space between you two and held out your pinky. 

“This is super childish and cheesy but let’s promise to not let this end,” You said. You knew it was dumb, but the idea actually helped to make you feel the tiniest bit better about everything. “Y’know, promising to stay friends forever and all that stuff you say at, like, summer camp.” 

“Okay, deal,” Steve nodded as he linked his pinky with yours.  

You smiled at him. “I take pinky promises very seriously, by the way. So, this cannot be broken, Steven.” 

He laughed a bit. “Don’t worry, I also take them seriously.”

“Good to know.”

Even though pinkies were linked and you did really believe that this was the best decision to make, deep down inside of you, you wished that the circumstances could be different. That the two of you were the same people, but in completely different situations. You wished for something cheesy and Hallmark-like, something easy, where there wasn’t distance or work that made things so much harder than how they should’ve been for you two. 

And then there was even a part of you that wanted to say fuck it because why not try? Even if you and him ended up crashing and burning in the end, at least you wouldn’t have to live with the never-ending “what ifs,” no matter how short-lived the relationship was. 

But, in your mind, the cons severely outweighed the pros and you knew that it wasn’t worth it and you couldn’t allow yourself to risk it; you needed to play it safe. Your friendship with him was more than enough; it was hard to even remember the last time you had a friendship that felt as important as this one.

Therefore, you instead decided to find solace in the thought that in another life, in a completely different universe, no stupid outside forces were preventing you from being together— not even your overthinking mind could stop it— and the two of you were happy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: pls don't hate me for how this ended lmao there will be an epilogue. i repeat. there will be an epilogue! (it wasn't planned at first but i decided i didn't want to completely end it here) so i'll see yall next week for the actual final part of this series<333

final part!

[knine-nights-loves-ac]

This started as an ask I was gonna send to @teecupangel but then it got like seven paragraphs long and I decided fuck it I’m just gonna make it a post and @ teecup. So here goes!

Another Pokémon!Desmond idea (ps: this got long, tldr; shiny Goomy uncatchable Des)

So to set the stage, AC universe happens as normal but, in the AC universe, pokemon as a franchise doesn’t exist. Just not a thing at all. So, starting off Desmond (who doesn’t know what Pokémon is) dies because of the Eye and poofs into a new universe as he does every other Tuesday.

Now, flash to a Pokémon region. I’m biased so I’ll say Kalos. But most work. Desmond appears on one of the earlier routes as a shiny Pokémon. Because I’m still biased, let’s say a shiny Goomy even though Goomies shouldn’t spawn there.

Desmond, newly goopified, doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. He’s a glob now. And the animals around him are fucking weird. And seemingly only live in the tall grass.

He can’t figure out how to use any of his “moves” outside of basically tackle and scratch and other similarly basic things. So he’s pretty dam weak, probably relatively low level, only thing he has going for him is that he’s fast and, relatively, smart. He’s still got human level intelligence which is enough to outsmart the vast majority of Pokémon.

He spends some time on this route, getting used to things, using his Eagle Vision (which he still has) to find berries, avoiding fights, and just enjoying his forced retirement to another universe. It’s Desmond, unless properly motivated, I think he’d be willing to settle in and chill.

But uh oh, trouble is afoot. In the form of! A CHILD no

This little kid toddles down the path with a belt full of pokeballs. Desmond, who is still new to this world, sees the kid and decides to approach. Why? Idk man, the brain cell got burned by the Eye.

The kid is like “OH MY GOD SHINY GOOMY!” And immediately initiates a Pokémon battle.

How does this feel to Desmond? Im not sure. But he definitely can tell somethings up when the kid starts screaming in another language, sounds like French? (If you get why, you get a cookie), and throws a ball that somehow summons another creature. Let’s say a Caterpie.

The Caterpie is low level, about as intelligent as a real caterpillar, and big. (Fun fact apparently Goomy and Caterpie are the same height). Now Desmond is concerned, especially when the kid yells a command and the huge ass bug attacks him. Caterpie only knows like three moves so it probably just tackles. Desmond, not being an idiot or actually a real Pokémon, dodges. The kid looks surprised but yells again and the Caterpie attacks again. After a few times, Desmond decides “Fuck this shit, I’m out.” and nopes on out of there. The kid is absolutely shocked that the shiny Goomy just ran from the battle and also that it dodged everything.

Desmond meanwhile, hidden now, checks on the kid and sees that they’re blue in Eagle Vision. He’s not sure whether to be surprised or not. On the one hand, he’s never seen a kid that was red, but on the other hand, this kid attacked him.

He metaphorically shrugs it off and continues foraging for berries, he’s trying out new combinations.

Meanwhile, this child runs back to wherever they came from, and eagerly spreads the news about the wild shiny Goomy they saw. Most people don’t believe them, but a couple other kids are curious enough to go looking later.

Another day begins and Desmond stumbles upon a group of kids this time. The original kid among them. They’re speaking quickly, yeah he’s pretty sure it’s French, too bad that’s one of the languages he barely gets (I don’t care if he’d know some via Ezio, he’d know 15th century French, not modern day Pokémon world French). They’re gesturing wildly and some of them are looking accusatorially at the original kid. Desmond tries to get a little closer and, just his luck, stumbles into view of the group. Uh oh.

Several minutes later, the kids are confused as hell, several Caterpies are furiously working their hamster wheel brains to understand what’s happening, and Desmond is starting to question what’s up with the people in this universe.

But something special happened this time. At one point, one of the kids threw a red and white ball at him. It bounced off his head and rolled on the ground, doing nothing. Desmond was just annoyed. The kids were flabbergasted.

Rumors spread until actual researchers are tramping through the tall grass. Desmond is definitely avoiding them. Even if they’re white in Eagle Vision, those lab coats remind him a bit too much of Abstergo.

Eventually, after the human presence becomes a bit too much, Desmond decides to hit the road and moves out from his comfy little tall grass patch in the middle of the night. He settles down again somewhere else.

Repeat cycle a few times until the whole of Kalos has heard tell of this shiny Goomy who nobody can catch and seems to roam the whole region.

Idk what’s happening from there. Begin plot of Pokémon X/Y? Maybe Desmond meets AZ? Lots of options but idk.

[lemonyko0]

Test Dummy - jjk

college gives you the perfect fresh start, far, far away from your brother and any of his cock-blocking friends. or so, you thought.

» genre: fluff! best friends brother 👀 college au, little steamy and mentions of s3x.

» word count: 4.1k

Test Dummy - jjk

We’ve all heard about “forbidden love”. We’ve seen all the movies, read all the books, watched all of the predictable tv shows. I mean, what did you think was going to happen, they weren’t going to get together?

And yet, we continue to eat it up, every time, without fail.

“What is your beef with romance? Would you rather it be easy and straight to the point or do you think writers should end every romance in tragedy?” Mina scoffs and laughs at the foot of the bed as she proof-reads my essay. “I just don’t understand your point, y/n.”

I snatch the laptop away from her, “If you’re going to start making comments before you even finish reading it, I’m not going to let you read it at all!”

She laughs and rolls onto her back on my bed, “Fine, whatever, you probably don’t need anyone else to read it anyway, I’m sure it’s great.”

I nod, “You’re right, I don’t, you asked, remember?”

She grins, “Did I?”

I roll my eyes, “Shoo, leave my house.” Her boyfriend had texted her fifteen minutes ago saying he was on his way from her parents house, “why didn’t you invite your new boyfriend again?” I ask, referring to the cellphone in her hand as she slings her coat on and grabs her purse.

Her brows raise and she thinks about her words before speaking, something I most definitely never do, and she reminds me all the time. “Honestly? I knew your brother and his heathens would be back too, and the last thing I want him around is more testosterone.”

She laughs, having previously mentioned this one is the jealous type (which is apparently, something she’s into) and she was correct in assuming my house would look the same it did in high school, Seokjin and his friends all running around the house, being loud, eating all the food, and bothering any other life-forms in the house.

“Yeah you’re right, this place is still a sausage fest. However, I think today only four of seven losers are here. Not sure though, they’ve been quiet the last hour.”

She nods, “Must be eating.”

I shake my head as well, “Food! Oh god I’m totally gonna go crash their party, I’ll walk you out.”

I bid Mina goodbye and sigh in relief as I close the door. Not that I didn’t enjoy Mina’s presence, we’ve been friends for years and despite going to different schools after graduating, we’ve still kept in touch, but entertaining people for that long, is always taxing on my social battery.

Just as Mina and I make a habit out of reuniting during school breaks and holidays, as does Seokjin and his annoying group of friends.

I stroll around the downstairs area of my family home, parents gone somewhere I’m sure they mentioned but I’m sure I ignored, and no boys to be found. “Must be in his room or something.” I mumble to myself, opening the fridge and bending down to grab a soda.

“Actually we’re in the basement dusting off the pool table, hand me one?” I practically jump out of my skin at the sound of another voice in the room, let alone directly behind me. He grins widely, “Hi, pretty.”

I smack his shoulder and shove a drink in his hand before walking past him, “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, and furthermore,” I lower my voice and turn to face him, now separated by the kitchen bar, “why the hell are you talking to me like that here? That is beyond off-limits!”

He’s still sporting a shit-eating grin, “You were actually being serious about not telling your family?” I widen my eyes and gesture around us, he scoffs, “Y/N, seriously?”

I sigh, “Jungkook, this is just,” I pause, “too weird to deal with right now.”

He circles the table coolly, still leaving a respectable distance between us, “I vividly remember you saying something different a few months ago, probably when we were in my bed, but oh! Maybe it was yours?” He laughs, as if what he was saying was actually funny, “Sorry, after so many times I just get confused.”

I scan the room again, my face dark red and my hair falling from behind my ears as I aggressively point my finger, “We already talked about this and you promised me Jungkook! Now drop it.”

He takes steps closer until his chest is brushing against my finger and I drop my hand in defiance, “I didn’t agree to be your sneaky-link, I want to be your boyfriend.”

“No.” I state simply, turning to leave the room.

Jungkook quickly grabs onto my arm, “Come on Y/N, just rip the bandaid off, and tell them you’re seeing someone! Better yet, he’s right god damn here to support you! Aren’t you exhausted from this constant tug and pull thing you’ve got going on?”

I pull away from him and very theatrically tell him, “NO.” He sighs dramatically and I scoff, “What on earth do I have to tell anyone? Not only are we not together, but you are also Seokjin’s best friend.”

He throws his head back in annoyance, “I don’t understand-”

“And I will be more than glad to talk you through it, after break.” I stop him right there, tired from repeating the same argument over, and over again.

Before leaving for university, the thought of ever being with one of my brothers delinquent friends sounded appalling. I had to listen to their male nonsense my entire life, being dragged around and made fun of and simultaneously, extremely cock-blocked. Not a single date-night, crush, date to dances, anything. If I wanted one, he’d be scrutinized and scared off. It was impossible, and incredibly annoying.

So imagine my delight, leaving for school knowing I had successfully avoided both my brother, and every single one of his associates.

That is until Jungkook transfers his second year, and didn’t tell anyone where-to until it was too late.

Which I figured, whatever. The likely chance we’ll ever cross paths is slim to none, no problem!

Except he latched onto me like an actual parasite. It had taken him long enough to find the overlap in our schedules, my study time coincided with his! Oh and his gym-time too! And he liked getting coffee around the same time as me as well! Oh and he doesn’t like the treadmills at the gym anymore, and would much rather run at the same time as me, on the same path, and at the same pace.

I questioned his motives from the start, and eventually gave up on pushing him away. I could have worse company, I suppose. And compared to the rest of his and Seokjin’s friend’s, I did know him the best, and disliked him the least.

We actually grew close in a short amount of time and I found myself enjoying his company, although I still struggle to admit it. I tried so hard to clear my life of my brother's shadow looming over me but Jungkook never mentioned it. He actually seemed to pick up on my avoidance, and what I was trying to do by going to a big school and one I knew no one else was attending. He was perfect in the sense that I never had to tell Jungkook what I was thinking, he just, knew. He also knew what to do, and just what I needed.

As one should have expected, you can’t just fling yourself into the dating world head-first and expect everything to work out how you imagined it would. I had no experience! No precursor, no context clues, no cues, and absolutely zero clue that the rules and expectations of college-dating was completely different to those you read about.

I was on the third failed date when Jungkook decided it was time to ask, even though I knew he was hesitant.

It was autumn, the leaves turning cool to warm-tones and trees shedding, I remembered the extra crunch during my morning run with Jungkook. He sat against my bed with a textbook in front of him and a notebook in his lap when he looks up at me on my bed, “How did your date go?”

I hum, looking at him questioningly, knowing damn-well I had never mentioned my dating life to Jungkook. “You know, you won’t shrivel up and die if you ask people for help.”

I begrudgingly chuckle at his comment, “I don’t need to ask for help. Men are just stupid and horny.”

He nods, “I don’t deny that, but, perhaps you’re fishing in the wrong pool.”

I sigh, “I’ve fished from different pools! I did the ‘helpful guy in my maths class’ and the ‘cute guy always in the library’ and even dating apps! And one would think if you just wanted to have sex, you would NOT put ‘looking for a relationship’ in your bio, but I suppose some people just aren’t that logically-inclined?”

He grins and leans his head back against my bed, “actual dating isn’t what half of the guys your age are looking for right now. Sorry to say it, but unless flings are what you’re looking for, first-year guys aren’t going to offer more.” He speaks easily, almost tentatively, as if he was breaking hard news to me. “At least, not this early in the year. But I get your enthusiasm, it’s not like you got out much in school.”

I raise my eyebrows to that, “That’s for damn sure.” We both chuckle, and I sigh annoyed, “It’s just upsetting, like everyone is at a completely different place in their lives than me, I mean, fuck I’ve never so much as made out with someone!” I laugh and he hesitantly laughs after me, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t register at the time, but I continued, because he was listening, and for once I felt comfortable enough to tell someone other than Mina, and I needed that. She wasn’t here anymore, and doing things on my own wasn’t working. “I just, feel so detached and angry.”

He nods, leaving a few moments of silence to ensure I was done before speaking, “I mean, if it bothers you that much and you think it’d help, I will certainly volunteer to be your test dummy.”

I smile before his words really sink in and I look down to him with brows furrowed, he’s grinning with a pained expression, “what do you mean by that Jungkook?”

His eyes widen and he raises his hands in surrender, “I-I strictly mean it in a if-it-would-help sense, just, trying to offer solutions! Sorry, that was weird and wrong.”

He slouches back down and buries himself in his work, and it’s not spoken of again.

Two weeks later, and my morning runs with Jungkook have become a given, and as the leaves turn redder and begin to brown and fall off, I find his presence more and more comforting. I’m not sure exactly when the lines blurred. I wish I could say I was on something. I wasn’t sober, I was lonely, I was just being stupid. But none of it was true. Well, that last bit is partly true, I was stupid, for not seeing what was going on until it was right in front of me.

“Why not you?” I speak aloud, almost as if my thoughts had slipped past the gates in my brain and right out of my mouth.

It catches Jungkook off-guard, my out of context bambling. He was just stretching against a nearby tree after our run, and asked me what coffee shop I was in the mood for. “Why not me, what?”

I stare at him, mouth agape, and I’m sure it takes me much longer than it should have to conjure up a response. I ran through my options, lie, surely. It’s not supposed to go like this.

Or, just tell him. Jungkook had been a more than good friend to me up until then, why not? “Why not you?” I repeat. He doesn’t speak, leaving me to fill in more of the blanks. I catch my breath finally, “You, Jungkook.” I say, he nods, slowly, almost like he was worried or scared. “Why not go on a date, with you?”

He stares at me. Emotionless. He doesn’t react. He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t so much as move the stray hair falling into his eyes from underneath his hoodie. I laugh, “Nevermind, that was stupid of me.”

He stills, before shaking out of it then shaking his head profusely, “No no no no, not stupid.” I raise my brows and he looks me in the eyes, “I mean, are you being serious?”

I nod slowly, “Well, yeah, it makes perfect sense, and you even brought it up, a while ago.”

He hums, “Yeah, I’m sure I did, but, when?”

He asks for a reminder, “When you told me you volunteered to be my ‘test dummy’ for relationships. So why not, show me what it’s like.”

Something told me his reaction was disingenuous, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He smiled anyway, picking up his bag and water, “Well, in that case, let our first date be a coffee date, on me.” He animatedly looped his arm around mine and walked away from our running trail and towards the nearby shop.

Jungkook was, as expected, a perfect gentleman. And I thought, that was what he was supposed to be. We were doing this whole thing so I could get some experience under my belt with less hassle and pressure, it was perfect.

There was always something, though. A little voice screaming at me that something is wrong and needed to be addressed. But neither of us did. Not when he walked me to my ‘doorstep’ (the front of my building) on our third date and told me, “this is when any good man would likely try to kiss you.” He looked at me, I looked at him and nodded, “the third date?” He nodded, “Yep, of course, only if you’re showing signs you’re interested, and even better if he explicitly asks.”

I nod and smile up at him, both of our hands shoved into our pockets, the wind making the nighttime much chillier. He bites at his bottom lip and shifts his weight from his toes, to his heels, and back and forth, until I say, “so, are you going to ask?”

This stops him, “ask… what?”

I laugh, thinking how stupid of a question, “To kiss me?”

His eyes widen, and then he leans back, shaking his head with a grin, “No no, this isn’t-”

“What, did I do something wrong?”

He quickly shakes his head, “No, nothing, you’re perfect.”

I ignore the way my cheeks flush despite the cold, “Okay then.” I lead on, he looks at his feet. He never tried to leave, he never told me goodnight, offered to kiss me on the cheek, he just did, nothing.

And I simply wasn’t having that.

I leaned up on my toes and pulled my warm hands from my pockets and placed them tentatively on his face, and I kissed him.

It was quick, I had kissed someone before, albeit years ago, and I was not confident at all in my skills. But I was confident in myself. I knew he wanted to kiss me but didn’t think it was right.

I bid him goodbye that night, and life went on just as it always did. From that line crossed, every line there on after became more and more blurred. When exactly “trial dating” became real dating, I’m unsure.

It gave me a perfect excuse as to why I was spending so much time with Jungkook, and why I was enjoying it, until I tried wine for the first time. We both had a decent amount, and I had sex for the first time.

That, still, is one of my largest regrets. I mostly wish we could go back, and do it differently. Or had at least weighed the outcomes of putting me, the guy I liked, and a bottle of wine and zero reference of a tolerance in a romantically-set up room.

From then on, Jungkook and I have argued over what we are, what to do, what we were doing, at all. I had made a bubble. A perfectly constructed, safe space. No one holding me back, judging me, or shadows looming. I was comfortable in my bubble.

That was until break came, and my bubble literally, popped.

I told Jungkook, (I’ll admit, rather coldly) that from the moment we were back in our hometown, none of this had ever happened. “If they ask, we kept up with each other on campus as friends, but that was it.”

He did not take well to this, but what was I supposed to do? Re-introduce one of my brother's closest friends as “my friend I go on dates with and kiss and sleep with every so often but he’s not really my boyfriend I don’t know we haven’t figured it out yet.” ???? Absolutely not. It is too complicated, too fast, too much for my brain to deal with all at once. It is bad enough returning home, and even worse knowing my problems were following me and harassing me in my own kitchen.

Jungkook sighs, having relented, “I don’t know what else to do, y/n.”

I pause for a moment, then shrug, “I’ve told you, i-it’s a hard situation. And any normal guy in your position would most definitely not be invited to my home during holiday, let alone bonding with my entire family and even join us for freaking christmas dinner if he wanted.”

His eyes look past me before nodding solemnly, “I get that, really, I-I’ve kept my distance! I’ve done what you asked, but you’re not even meeting me halfway.”

I put my hands out in front of him, “There is no half-way Jungkook.” I look to the basement door when I hear a voice and the steps creaking, “As of right now, there is nothing to talk about.”

He opens his mouth to complain and I loudly hush him, “Ah! Stop talking.”

He tries speaking again, no doubt further complaints about how unfair I’m being, and thankfully he notices Seokjin seconds before he slings his arm around him with a grin, “Wondered what was taking you so long to grab my coke.”

He laughs it off and Seokjin crosses the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge, and I turn to leave before he calls out to me, “Yeah?”

“There’s still pizza down there, and we found the missing 4 striped ball.” He points at the basement door with the drink in his hand and chuckles, “Which if I remember correctly, you lost when you practically threw it at me.”

I roll my eyes, “I did not throw it at you, you hid it from me so I couldn’t win, I was beating you so bad you had to cheat.”

He chortles, “Yeah, that may be, but I’m nowhere near the best player anymore, you could easily win even if I cheated.”

I nod, “Yeah I’m sure-”

“Actually, Jungkook beat me twice and Taehyung forfeited, that's why we sent him up here, so we could have our own losers match.” He makes himself laugh even harder, walking back over to Jungkook, “We’re gonna go play mario kart in my old bedroom, you can join us or see if y/n is still the best at pool.” He speaks to Jungkook, but looks at me.

I shake my head, “It’s not that deep-”

“Of course! We have to.” Jungkook says quickly. I narrow my eyes towards him and he grins cockily, “unless you know you’ll already lose.”

I roll my eyes, “Comedic, you’ve always been a sore loser, I refuse for the sake of your ego.”

He scoffs, “Nope. Liar. You know you’re no good anymore and you’ll lose.”

I shake my head, “You’ll say anything to get me to play.”

He leans against the table, “Just one round. And I’ll even offer best of three, when you lose.” He grins cockily and I mock him.

“Whatever. ONE round, that’s it.”

Seokjin claps, “Perfect! Winner can run their victory lap around the house and boasting rights until next year, and loser pays our dinner later.” He pats our backs excitedly before jogging up to his room, Taehyung not far behind him.

Jungkook and I enter the basement, setting up the game and talking shit, as one does. “Who’s breaking?”

He smiles, holding his chosen pool cue, “Ladies first.”

I nod, “Such a gentleman.”

He laughs, “Yeah, that’s what got me into your pants.”

I mess up my shot and berate him. “I have half the mind to come over there and use this forcefully.” I lift up my pool cue and he pretends to be scared.

“Oh no! Please don’t!” I walk over to him, slap his chest and I only get one good (albeit, wimpy, compared to his strength) hit in before he grabs both of my hands and backs me into the pool table. He leans into me, our bodies touching leaving absolutely no room, and he kisses me.

I’m able to forget my surroundings and lose all rationality when he kisses me. He licks at my lips and I let his tongue slide past, soon enough his hands drop the cue, mine long forgotten as his hands slide down my body and he lifts me onto the table.

My hands are split, one tangling his hair and the other feeling his chest. He continues to kiss me fervently, hungrily, like he was touch-starved and in dire need of attention. He pulls me close and rubs against me, showing me how bad he wants me and it takes all the strength I have left to pull away, calling out to him. He ignores me the first time, kissing me in response to his name. I pull away again, “Jungkook.” he hums, busying himself with kissing and biting my neck, “Jungkook, w-we can’t.”

My pleas fall on deaf ears. “Jungkook, please,” my hands tug on his arms that are wrapped around me, “not here.”

He buries his face in my neck and leans into me with an annoyed groan. I let him rest like that for a while, waiting until he lifted his head and looked at me. “I don’t actually want to play pool.”

I chuckle, “Me neither.”

He takes a deep breath and nods, “Okay so let's use this table for a much better purpose.” He leans back into kiss me and I turn away, laughing at his desperate attempt.

“Jungkook, it’s bad enough, what we’re doing, let alone to do it in my house, where Seokjin is literally in, right now.”

He whines, “I don’t care! I will go up there right now and tell him-”

“Tell him what?!” Jungkook stops in his tracks. “Tell him what, Jungkook?” He doesn’t respond. “Exactly. We don’t have a label. I’m not ready to figure this out yet, there’s nothing to tell them now.”

His gaze softens and he steps towards me, his hands resting on my thighs as he draws circles on them, “But we’ll tell them eventually? It won’t be like this, much longer?”

I sigh, scratching his head and looking him in the eyes, “if we become official, if we really work out, then yes, of course. We’ll tell them.”

He kisses me again, barely parting our lips, “Okay, I’ll stop.”

I kiss him back and laugh, “Really? That’s all it took?” He furrows his brows. “Jungkook, I’ve been saying that since the beginning. Albeit, quite meaner.”

He nods, “You were being a megabitch, but I really like you so I didn’t mind.” He presses our noses together and smiles. I push his chest offendedly and he doesn’t move an inch, “You were stressed, worried, and confused, I don’t blame you. I should've been more sympathetic.” I kiss him again and thank him, followed by my own apology for mistreating him. “But there is still something different this time.”

I hum, “Yeah? What.”

He grins, “You acknowledged us being together.”

I roll my eyes, knowing I couldn’t hide the way my cheeks heat while trapped in his arms, “Whatever, stop talking.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

heyyy thanks for reading! if u liked it check out my masterlist for more :) also!! i am (tentatively) accepting requests! send them in via dm or askbox! hope u have a gorgeous day! - ara <3

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[rubydubydoo122]

Jason gets de-aged because I've seen fics of Tim or Dick being de-aged, and Bruce losing his memory, but no one has realized the potential for angst if you de-age Jason.

Turns out, Bruce was taking the day off work, but that just made it that much harder for Jason to sneak into the batcave, with both him and Alfred watching him. They were doing that thing where they were hovering while still giving him space. 

Jason just felt so stupid . You would think with all the random memories popping up, one of them would’ve warned him that his mom was dead— oh wait . One of them did. So really, it was just Jason being dumb. He just really thought he could have a mom again. 

Despite how long it had been since his mami died, he still missed her. Maybe it was because with going from foster home to homeless, to crime house, he never really had time to really grieve her. And with Papi, it kinda felt like he wasn’t allowed to grieve him because Jason had already been living with Bruce for some time. And his Papi was a criminal, but his Dad was Batman. 

Jason barely even knew Sheila Haywood. According to Bruce and Alfred, Jason had only known her for a day. So why did he feel so hurt about this? Why did this grief feel so much deeper than anything else?

Cass somehow practically appeared out of nowhere and handed him a book, “My English is not the best. Can you read to me?”

Jason looked at the cover, “ Pride and Prejudice . This is one of my favorites.”

Cass smiled knowingly, so she probably picked it for that reason. Maybe she didn’t even need him to read to her. Maybe she was doing this for him. Which was honestly really sweet. 

Cass leaned against the arm of the couch, and Jason went to sit on the other side when she opened an arm, “Cuddles too.”

“You make a lot of demands Ma’am.” Though he did lean into her. “Do we do this a lot? Cuddle and read?”

She shook her head, “Not like this. When I’m hurt and come for help, we read.”

“But not smushed up together like this?”

“No. You’re too big.”

Right. He was as big as Bruce. That was kind of weird to think about. 

So Jason opened the book and started reading out loud. 

It was the copy he read out of the most. The spine was worn, not too much, but that perfect amount where you could easily flip the pages. It was a hardback, and there were post-it notes on the pages that his favorite scenes or lines were on. 

Cass would occasionally ask a question about why a character would be doing something, or what a line or phrase meant, and Jason would happily explain. 

Seven chapters in, Jason’s pace of reading was starting to slow down, and his voice was getting hoarse from talking for so long without a pause. 

Jason was tired. He had been tired since this morning, because of his nightmare, and the information he had gathered this morning didn’t make him feel any better. 

Sometime, while he was reading, Bruce had come in and sat on the other end of the couch. Jason did object when Bruce had gently taken the book from him, and started from chapter eight. 

Jason also didn’t object when Cass started carding her hands through his hair. It felt nice. It reminded him of nights when mami’s eyes were clear of influence, and she’d take care of him for the night instead of the other way around. 

Jason let his eyes close, and after a couple minutes Bruce stopped reading. 

“I’m not sleeping, Old man, just resting my eyes.” 

He was definitely just resting his eyes

Cass could feel Jason fully relax and hear his breath deepen. “He’s sleeping now.” 

Bruce had a gaze lingered on Jason. His expression was fond. Reminiscing. Though there was pain too.

“You did good this morning.” Cass made sure to keep her voice quiet. Jason was a light sleeper. He always heard her when she would come into his apartment after patrol.

“How do you know?” It was one question that asked two.

“I know you did good because you spoke what you needed to say. From your heart. You don’t do that often.” Bruce did not know about the blackmail group chat, and he wasn’t allowed to know so Cass wouldn’t tell him about the video Tim had sent of this morning. 

“I was trying not to make him upset, but I ended up making things worse.” Guilt . 

Guilt was always on Bruce’s face whenever he talked about Jason. Guilt, hurt, and grief.

“If you did not tell him about his mom he would be angry. He would go looking for answers. Answers he shouldn’t know. Not like this.” Cass swirled one of Jason’s curls in her fingers, “We have to keep him…” Not happy, because no one could be happy all the time, “We have to protect his light. And you did that. You told him what happened, then you comforted him. It is what he needs. Comfort. So you did well.”

Bruce looked away from Cass, “Jason is probably going to be so angry at me when he’s back to normal. He’s going to hate me for taking advantage of his young state and–”

“No. Not angry. Hurt . He thinks you don’t care about him anymore. When he’s big again, tell him you do. Even though you’re bad at it.” Cass smirked, “Add it to the mission.”

Bruce groaned, “Of course you know about that.” He got up, “I’m going to go back to looking for the sorcerer. If you or Jason need anything…”

Cass smiled, “I know. We’ll come.”

And Bruce gave her a tiny smile back. A smile that said, Thank you. A smile that said I love you. 

Tim had, honest to god, thought Bruce would try his hardest to avoid Jason, so imagine the whiplash he faced when Bruce actually gave Jason a very genuine sounding heart to heart. And a hug . But should he really be surprised? It was Jason.

He knew that when Jason went back to normal it would just cause Bruce even more grief. And that grief would just cause Jason to lash out at Bruce because Jason’s not dead anymore. 

He doesn’t want to deal with the fallout. He couldn’t do that again. Not when he had spent his entire time as Robin dealing with it. He was just so tired of the same cycles over and over again. It’s infuriating. 

Jason needs to step aside from the mantle of angry ex-Robin because Tim could feel himself slowly stepping into that role. Maybe that’s why all of the future versions of himself turned evil. Because he was just done with Batman’s bullshit. 

Tim was going to go back to his apartment after work, but because he had fallen asleep at the batcomputer last night, he still had some work to finish. 

Tim doesn’t know what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting to come home to find Cass on the sofa in the living room with Jason napping in her arms.

 He obviously took a picture and sent it in the group chat. All eight of them were in it, so even though they said it was for blackmail purposes, it ended up being something more… sentimental. None of them would admit it though. In their line of work, it’s hard to hang onto the happier things especially with how dark things could get. They've all had near death (or just death) experiences at least once. The pictures made it easier to remember the good times. It made them remember to savor it. 

Jason never responded in the chat, but Tim knew he read through everything . Tim knew he saved every picture posted. 

Maybe Jason wouldn’t like seeing his younger self so close with the rest of them, maybe Jason would see it as emotional manipulation. Tim was pretty sure he was the closest to Jason, and they only talked when their cases overlapped. Though, he hoped that Jason would see it as the rest of them wanting him in their lives. (He wouldn’t, but Tim could hope)  

Cass looked at him with a look that clearly asked what’s up?

Tim’s response look asked how long have you two been here?

Cass lifted up four fingers. So four hours. Or minutes, but four minutes seemed too short of time for Jason to be out like a light.

Tim debated something. The times Jason has physically dragged him around his apartment, or literally thrown him. Tim has tried to drag Jason off his couch before but it’s never worked, but now… Tim wouldn’t get the chance to do this any other time. 

Cass gave him a look that asked what are you doing?

Tim shrugged, and grabbed Jason’s ankles and yanked him to the other side of the couch. 

Jason yelped, and Tim barely had time to dodge a kick, “What gives?!”

“Please, Jason, this is light compared to the things you have done to me.” Tim took Jason’s now vacated spot and curled up next to Cass, “and it’s my turn now.”

Tim could feel Cass smirk. 

Tim was also pretty sure he was about to experience a fist to face, but it never came. There was a light pat on his head, “I’m only allowing this because you’re my baby brother, and I’m hungry, and I want food. Do you guys want anything?”

Tim blinked, “I’m not a baby– I’m not that much younger than you– I’m older than you right now!”

Jason took a blanket out of the shelf and laid it across both him and Cass, “Nope, doesn’t count. Boop!”

Jason booped his nose.  

Tim officially stopped working.

“I’m in the mood for…mm…churros, but Alfred’s probably gonna tell me to eat food first. So what’re you guys in the mood for?”

“Noodles.” Cass answered almost immediately. Was Tim the only one hung up on the fact that Jason booped his nose?

“Like… spaghetti and meatballs or..”

“Stir-fry. You make it spicy. Good.” she lowered her voice, “Better than Alfred.”

Jason laughed, “I don’t think that’s possible, but I’ll try. What time is it? Should I make some for Duke and Damian too? Is anyone allergic to anything?”

“2:43. Yes. No, Damian is vegetarian.”

“Got it!” And Jason skipped off to the kitchen.

Tim looked down at the blanket wrapped around him, and then touched his nose. Ok, it wasn’t out of character for Jason to take care of him. He’s definitely, on more than one occasion, taken care of Tim. It’s just usually, Jason’s really aggressive about it. Grumbling while making food for him, yanking his computer away from him, physically throwing him into his bed after he’s pulled multiple all-nighters. 

It was just weird how gentle Jason was being. Not weird. Different. 

He brought up the security footage from the living room and sent it into the group chat. 

Stephanie replied to a video: NOT THE NOSE BOOP >u<

Duke replied to a video: You really let the intrusive thoughts win when you yanked him by the ankles

Babs replied to a video: AWWWW 

Babs: Sunshine Jason making an appearance was not anywhere on my 2023 bats bingo board

Tim: sunshine jason is scaring me

Tim: this is too ooc 

Dick replied to a video: This is 2 precious

Dick replied to a photo: This is going 2 b my new lockscreen

Stephanie replied to ~Sunshine Jason is scaring…~: Don’t say that about my homie

Tim: jason would say ‘I’m not your Homie’

Stephanie: but sunshine jason wouldn;t

Duke: Steph

Duke: i’m sorry

Duke: but I don’t think sunshine jason likes you because of the picture you took of him tripping in his RedHood uniform 

Stephanie: dwdw I’ll change that

Duke replied to ~This is going to be…~: I thought you just changed it to Damian

Dick: I’ll make a collage

Tim replied to ~This is going to be…~: cass said her and jason were reading before he fell asleep.

Tim: hold up

Tim scrolled back through the footage, but stopped when he realized Bruce was there. Reading to Jason . And Cass, but still. Tim scrolled back a bit farther, and realized that Jason didn’t even have to drag Bruce into doing it. He just did . 

Jason’s back to how he was before he died and Bruce pulls out the love and affection that he apparently just had in his back pocket? That’s not fair . 

No.

It’s not fair for Tim to think like that. Bruce is probably just acting to make sure Jason doesn’t realize he died. Yeah. That's probably it. 

Tim scrolled back further and sent the clip of Cass and Jason reading together, and then stood up. “Ok, I know Jason’s a really good cook, but I feel like we should go watch him considering he’s barely five foot.”

Jason was grabbing some already chopped vegetables out of the fridge. Hopefully Alfred doesn't have plans to use them later. He already had the noodles in the boiling water, but he was going to wait until they were halfway cooked to start cooking the vegetables.

So he started heating up the water, sugar and oil for the churros. 

Jason's pretty sure only Alfred knew this, but Churros are one of his main comfort foods. Especially when he missed his mom. Sure he loved chili-dogs, but those only taste the best from a vendor. And Neapolitan Ice Cream was more like his go-to ice cream flavor. Why choose one when you could have all three? 

Churros reminded him of cold winter days when the heating wouldn’t work properly, and he and Mami would make them to warm up. Mami would always add a little bit of cinnamon and vanilla into the dough. The first time he had made churros with Alfred, Jason had forgotten about that, and they didn’t taste the same. Jason hasn’t forgotten the cinnamon and vanilla since then.

Cass and Tim walked into the kitchen and sat at the counter. 

Jason got out a wok and tossed the oil, chilis, garlic and onions in. None of them were saying anything, but it didn’t feel like an uncomfortable silence. Maybe they’d been doing this for years. Sitting in silence, while Jason cooked. The thought made his chest feel warm.

“When did Bruce take you guys in?”

Tim and Cass had a silent mind conversation. “I started hanging around the manor when I was 13. And then Bruce adopted me when I was 15. Bruce adopted Cass around the same time.”

Cass nodded, “I was 17.” She looked up to think about it, “you were 17 too, 18 when Tim came.”

Jason stirred the vegetables around before adding the noodles, “What about Duke. And Damian, I guess.”

“Talia kinda just dropped Damian off on a random Tuesday. That was also close to two years ago. Dukes the newest. He’s only been here for a couple months.” 

Jason nodded. “Got it.” He turned off the stove with the wok. Then he walked over to the fryer with the churro dough before pausing. “Am I allowed to use the fryer?” 

Tim shrugged, “You’re literally the only one allowed to use the kitchen.”

Even though Jason knows how to use it, it’s the one thing he has to have supervision while using. Because hot oil does not feel good on skin. But technically, he was being supervised. By Cass and Tim. And technically , Jason was an adult. And if Alfred got mad, he could offer him a churro and puppy eyes.

He turned on the fryer, and once the oil was all heated up he started piping the dough in. 

He had almost finished when the garage door opened, followed by the sound of footsteps. 

“Master Jason, you know you are not allowed to use the fryer without supervision.” Alfred was standing at the door with his hands on his hips and his I’m disappointed in you ™ face. 

Duke and Damian were also walking in, but tentatively.

“But I’m 20…”

Alfred pinched the bridge of his nose, but Jason could tell it was just to hide a smile. “You are physically and mentally 15. The rules from then apply now. You need supervision while working with oil.”

“Cass and Tim were here.”

Damian crossed his arms,“Tt, Drake hardly counts as proper supervision.” 

“Cass was here, but I won’t do it again. Sorry Alfred.”

Alfred took the piping bag from Jason, “Well, since the house is still standing, and you are not injured in any way, I suppose I will allow it.” Alfred placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder, “Go eat in the dining room with your siblings, I can finish up here.”

So there they all sat, slurping noodles. 

“Jason, this is really good.” Duke leaned closer to him and whispered, “I’ve been missing spice.”

Jason grinned, “Thank you.” And yes, Alfred’s cooking was good, but after some time you start craving some spice.

Tim sniffled and wiped his nose. His cheeks were pink, and–

“Drake, are you crying?” Damian took the bottle of chili flakes and shook it on top of his noodles, “I knew you were weak, but I didn’t think you were this pathetic.”

“I’m not crying, I just don’t have a super spice tolerance like the rest of you.”

Jason laughed, “If it makes you feel better, Bruce is worse. I once made Nachos for a movie night, and since he’s a white man, I left out the jalapenos and I only put, like, three chili in the salsa. This man ate two chips, and was guzzling milk.”

“Seriously?” Duke looked surprised.

Jason nodded, “Dick should have it on video somewhere.”

“I’m asking him for this right now,” Tim took out his phone, blinked a couple times and then put it away, “Duke, you do it, my eyes are too watery.”

Duke smirked and started typing away.

Cass patted Tim on the shoulder, “Not your fault for crying. You’re just white.”

That earned a laugh from everyone. Except for Tim. He just turned redder if that was possible.

Duke glanced at his phone, “Dick said, ‘I hv a whole folder. We can hv a viewing when I get home.’ Then Steph said ‘Batman’s Kryptonite are nachos’ and then Dick said ‘+ most of the things Jason has made bc he 4got that Bruce was yt man’ Jesus Christ, it’s like deciphering an anagram trying to read Dick’s messages.” 

Tim sighed, “Millennials.”

Jason smirked, Dick’s typing has always been so dumb. Some things never change.

He starts to picture this sight, but it’s his older self. He thinks he can picture his older self. He thinks he can picture his older self maybe playing a supporting role in the Fall play or Spring musical. He thinks he can picture what he would’ve written his college essay about– losing a family, only to gain an even bigger one. He can picture himself with Bruce in his office opening up acceptance letters to Princeton, or NYU, but he’d ultimately choose to go to Gotham University. Actually, maybe he was wrong about that. Damian did seem shocked this morning to see Jason in the kitchen. Maybe Jason goes far enough away to Dorm, but still close enough to patrol when there’s an emergency. Yeah. He can see Bruce and Alfred helping him move into his dorm. He can see himself coming back on some weekends. Maybe he and Dick have become closer as time passed, because He can see Dick stopping by his dorm to pick him up to head to the manor. Maybe Damian’s in the car with them, or Tim, or Cass, or Duke. He can picture Alfred waiting by the door to greet him. He can see Bruce pulling him into a hug and asking him how his classes have been going. He can see them all sitting at the table, Damian and Tim bickering, Stephanie egging them on. Duke and Cass trading food, and Babs and Dick holding hands under the table. He can feel Bruce’s fond, but barely there, smile. Jason could feel the longing in his chest for all of that. 

Though it felt like something was holding back that longing. Like there was something physically blocking Jason from all of that. “Are… are we close?” There was a beat of silence, and then Jason put a hand to his heart, “because I think I feel… I feel calm– at peace when I’m with you Cass.” He looked to Tim, Duke, and Damian, “And you guys are my little brothers. I feel like… I would do anything for you guys.” 

“Jason–”

“But I also feel…guilty?” Jason thought about it for a moment, “No. Ashamed. I don’t know why, but I think I’m ashamed of myself and–”

“Jason, stop.” 

Jason snapped his mouth shut.

Tim set down his fork and had a silent conversation with Cass and Damian. It didn’t seem like Duke was part of their mind conversation, but most of the guilt and shame bubbled up more around Damian and Tim. The guilt and shame felt like it was going to overflow around Tim.

Tim looked Jason firmly in the eye, “A lot was changing all at once during that time. None of us blame you for the way you reacted.” 

Jason carefully inspected Tim’s face. He was doing the weird double mask thing he was doing earlier in the bathroom, “But you got the worst of it.”

“...Dick is so much better at this.” he looked back at Cass and She nodded, “Did you remember anything specific?”

Jason closed his eyes and tried to trace the guilt and shame, but ultimately drew a blank. “..No. It’s more like I’ve been feeling it.”

Tim nodded, “What were you feeling before the guilt.”

“Longing.” He was sitting on a rooftop, red helmet next to him, watching five figures leap across buildings in the distance. “I think I felt… Alone.”

A sad smile briefly appeared on Tim’s face, “A lot was changing during that time. And Bruce and Dick didn’t make sure you felt like you still had a place. You probably were all alone, and I don’t blame you for feeling like that. I didn’t understand until something similar happened to me.”

“Tt, and what happened doesn’t matter anyways, because for all we fight, at the end of the day, you have our backs, Akhi. You would take a bullet for each one of us.”

“And Jason?”

“Yeah?” “Stop being such a sap. You’re ruining your own street cred.”

[sandybrett]

Here are my completely honest thoughts on a bunch of audio dramas I've checked out. (Don't worry, nothing scathing, they're all reasonably good. But please proceed with caution, or don't proceed, if you're involved in creating any of these shows.)

In the order I first listened:

The Storage Papers: Nine episodes in. A little slow paced, but I've heard it picks up in the later seasons. My only real concern is that it seems like a lot of the horror revolves around "this thing looks sort of like a human but it's Wrong somehow. also it kills people (or cats)." I hope at some point we meet a creature that looks and acts as unsettling as the Grinner but is nice, or at least complicated.

The Cellar Letters: Seven episodes in. I LOVE it. I love the natural-feeling messiness of it, the way Nate and Steve talk in circles and go back and forth on what to believe. It's made me laugh out loud multiple times. I can't wait to learn more about that weird little room full of letters with that one random word written on the wall (I forget what).

400 Words a Horror: Three episodes in. I had to re-listen to the first episode because I hadn't been paying enough attention, but I think that particular episode rewards re-listening anyway. Also it is the only show on this list that genuinely frightens me so I have to pace myself. Very good.

Tin Can Audio Presents: Middle:Below: Two episodes in. I won't say I'm hooked, but I am somewhat interested. It's a lot more relaxing than the other podcasts on this list, so I keep thinking I'll save it for listening closer to bedtime, then not getting around to it.

The Grotto: Six episodes in. Very much enjoying. I was SO proud of myself for correctly guessing the twist in the second episode. I love the characters and am extremely intrigued by the mysteries. My only criticism is that the musical interludes drag on too long. And I'm saying that as a WOE.BEGONE fan.

Soul Operator: Three episodes in. It's good but there isn't any particular element that's drawing me in just yet. There's a lot I don't know about the world yet, though, so there is still plenty of time for me to fall in love with this show. (Irrelevant note: I always get "Smooth Operator" by Sade stuck in my head when I think about this show.)

Shadows at the Door: Listened to half of the first episode. It was somewhat interesting, but I decided I had higher priorities for my listening time than disconnected hour-long episodes that are only *somewhat* interesting.

Archive 81: Five episodes in. Quite possibly going to become a major obsession. It's got everything: playing with point of view; the Power of Storytelling but in a menacing way; vivid character voices; probably a cult. I particularly love the way conversations play out on this show--I don't know exactly how to explain it but there's a certain... friction that happens in real conversations but rarely in fictional ones outside cringe comedy. I don't usually enjoy that sort of thing when it's played for laughs, but for realism or suspense? I eat that up. It does make me a little tense so this is another show I pace myself with and I'm glad the episodes are short.

Alice Isn't Dead: Two episodes in. I'm not going to make it a priority--it's got a similar sort of surrealism to Night Vale, but with higher stakes and less humor, and I had enough trouble getting immersed in Night Vale. I could probably enjoy it if I gave it enough time, but for now I'd rather focus on *gestures at some of the shows above*

The Silt Verses: Listened to the first ten minutes of the first episode and got bored, which I think says as much about me as it does about the show. It does get off to a bit of a slow start and leaves more space between lines of dialogue than most of these shows do, but I could probably get into it with adequate time and sleep. Not prioritizing it, for similar reasons to Alice.

[lost-girl-2021]

Chapter One of BRIGHTSIDE

Spider had always been an outsider. It didn’t matter if she was around humans or Na’vi, around the young or old. It didn’t matter, because her father was a monster. It didn’t matter, because although Spider couldn’t remember either of her parents, she was a reminder of all the bad they did.

Jake had said it once. He didn’t mean for her to hear it, probably. She’d gotten in a fight with Kiri, over a wooden Ikran that got broken when they were playing. It ended with Kiri pulling her hair and Spider pinching her arm, at which point the adults stepped in and separated them. Neytiri had punished Kiri while Jake took Spider back to base camp early. She was six or seven, maybe, still too young to visit the Omaticaya without an adult accompanying her.

“You can’t fight with the others.” He told her as they flew, one arm wrapped around her front so she wouldn’t fall off. “They’re bigger than you and sometimes they don’t realize their own strength.”

The lecture wasn’t anything new. Spider was always and would always be the weakest link. Lo’ak was two years younger than her and even he was bigger than her already. She ‘hmphed’ a response, brow furrowing in annoyance.

Jake sighed. “How about I make you a brand-new toy? I’m sure it’ll be much better than Neteyam’s hand-me-downs, huh?”

She crossed her arms in front of her, digging her elbow into Jake’s arm. “I liked that one.”

It wasn’t really about the toy Ikran— if it was, then her mood would’ve been easily changed by a ride on a real Ikran, which can actually fly and take her with. It was about the fight, how Kiri got to stay at camp and Spider had to go back to the stupid lab and the extra-stupid scientists. There were only, like, two other kids there and they were both way younger than her. And they all thought she was weird. Norm would make her put on shoes and too many layers when she got back, Max would probably try to make her do more schoolwork. She hated the lab.

“You can come back in two days, okay?” Jake offered, seeming to sense her mood. “I’ll even come pick you up, so you don’t have to wait for the slow-pokes. How does that sound?”

“Two days?” She whined, turning to glare up at Jake. He was looking forward, too high up for her to be seen, so she tugged sharply on his hair.

“Hey, it’s not— “ He cut himself off as he finally peered down at her, eyes suddenly widening. She wondered if he saw something down below, behind her. But, no, he was staring at her like he’d never seen her before.

“Jake?” She asked, features morphing from angry to scared.

He seemingly snapped out of it as his Ikran jerked below him, startling him back from whatever had happened. Spider, as emotional as most six-maybe-seven-year-olds were, was already starting to cry, startled by whatever had come over the man.

“Are y— you mad at me?” She mumbled, tears starting to drip down her cheeks. “Are you gonna— are you gonna tell everyone I— I— I can’t go back to the forest?”

A big hand reached up, as if to brush away tears. Unable to breach the mask, Jake settled for pulling her closer, trusting his steed to keep them steady.

“No, I’m not mad.” He assured, cupping the back of her head with one hand. “It’s okay, I’m sorry, it’s okay.”

By the time they landed, Spider had mostly stopped crying. Jake carried the girl inside, peeling off the mask and setting her down once they’d been through the airlock. Max was waiting near the door, frowning at the tear tracks on the girl’s face. Eclipse was still hours away, meaning everyone expected Spider to be gone for a long time yet to come.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, scanning the little human for injuries.

“I— “ Spider cut herself off, feeling like she was about to start crying again. Instead, she just shook her head, running towards her room.

She ended up crying in bed for another few minutes until she felt better, sure that Jake was already gone by the time she got back up. But, she’d been wrong.

She hated the feel of the shoes trapping her toes, making her always quiet footsteps loud as she crept towards the lab. She hated socks and dresses and most of all, shoes. But, she also hated when people were angry at her and she really wanted to ask Max for a hug. And some food, ‘cause she hadn’t gotten lunch yet and she was too short to reach the rehydrator buttons.

As she neared the lab door, she heard voices echoing into the hallways. The door was always closed to the lab, but she must’ve left it open on accident when she’d run away.

“I feel like such an asshole.” That was Jake’s voice.

“What even happened out there, man?” Max asked, voice quiet. “Spider barely ever cries.”

“She furrowed her brow and I swear, it was like I was staring at Him again.” Jake groaned. “The next thing I know, she’s crying and it’s her again. But, I . . . “

“Quaritch is dead. And Spider is nothing like— “

“I know that, Max. But, I just . . . it’s just hard, sometimes.”

Max sighed. “It’s hard for all of us. I mean, every day she looks more and more like . . . like both of them.”

Spider had snuck back into her room before she could hear anything more. But, the words had stuck with her. It was the first time she’d heard anyone talk about her like that, but it wasn’t the last.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

29 and choking/breath play <3 

Prompt: "Touch me there. Right there."

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: Explicit

Contents: Femdom!Shigaraki (quirk sex swap, he/him pronouns throughout), BDSM, feminization, lingerie, sex toys, objectification, masturbation, choking, PIV sex, oral sex (F!receiving), orgasm denial/delay, safeword use, multiple orgasms, humiliation, cum eating, degradation, dacryphilia, subspace, aftercare.

Read on AO3 if you'd prefer, here!

If Dabi ever meets AFO, he's going to light him on fire and watch his bones blacken for the way he treated his lover as a child. However, before that, he's going to beat him bloody and make him explain why he stole so many of the strangest quirks that Duster has slowly been unlocking over the past few months. A hair growing quirk? Octopus quirk? The ability to elongate noses? Fucking weird and stupid, and for every useful quirk that Tomura unlocks, he gets half a dozen other useless ones that he has to send dormant again. 

That being said, Dabi is usually able to roll with the punches when it comes to the All For One quirk. Duster has been getting his physical treatments and hasn't hurt himself unlocking the new quirks, and Dabi puts up with the occasional weirdness because he also gets the occasional quirk that makes him see fucking stars. It's a compromise. But he's not thrilled that his lover didn't get back in from training until about twenty minutes ago, Dabi not even seeing him from where he was getting dressed in their massive closet, before he'd gone to take a shower before their meeting in half an hour. Usually tries to bully Duster into actually sleeping after a training session, but they're not gonna have time for it this morning. Fine. Whatever, their schedules will be clear after this meeting so he can get railed and Tomura can sleep after, only ever sleeps normally if they work each other over thoroughly first. 

He pokes his head into the bathroom, absolutely blinded by steam from how insanely hot his lover likes to shower, "I'm gonna head downstairs, show me whatever you unlocked later?" Because if he was out all night that must mean that he's got a new one. 

"Alright, firefly." Duster calls back as he starts to shut the door again. His voice is... off. Wonders if that has something to do with the new quirk, but Dabi doesn't pay it any mind. At least he's not speaking backwards this time. 

Dabi gets downstairs and starts to set up for the meeting, the others trickling in slowly but surely. Toga is still in her pajamas, which, yeah, he wishes he still was too. But unfortunately, it's some big deadline for Detnerat this week, which means that the PLF check-in had to be at six in the morning to ensure that they could get it finished before half of the lieutenants won't be available for seven days. He's at least going to make it look like he's not going to take the rest of the week as a vacation as soon as they leave. Everyone is just about settled in when the doors open. 

Oh he is going to beat AFO to death and then burn his corpse. If he doesn't accidentally immolate himself first. 

Tomura walks into the room, and yeah, it's still very obviously his lover, but he'd have to be blind to not notice that his lover is currently a gorgeous woman. Still the same height, still the same long wavy white hair, but right now it's falling around softer features. Sharper cheekbones, the same cracked texture around his eyes and mouth, but his lips are a little pinker, fuller, a softer jaw. He's not wearing his suit, instead having stolen one of Dabi's loose tank tops he sometimes lounges around in. Probably had to because it was the only thing in their closet that would fit his much fuller chest, holy shit. Full chest, definitely bouncing but not as much as he probably should be which must mean he's wearing one of Dabi's-- He is going to overheat. Muscle still corded along his arms, waist a little more narrow, hips definitely fuller, holy fuck, his ass when he gets into the chair beside his own. He's staring. He's staring, and his brain is completely empty except for the vague thought that he's going to have to kill AFO for leaving Duster with a quirk that seemingly just turns him into an insanely hot woman. 

"You're smoking, firefly." His voice is higher, but throaty. Kind of effortlessly sultry and that is not helping. 

"You're a girl." 

Duster raises a not-brow. "I'm your Grand Commander right now. Focus." 

As if he didn't know this was going to knock him flat on his ass. Probably only didn't warn him in their room because he wanted him to be flustered. That, or he'd known that as soon as Dabi saw him, he'd want to take him to bed and they actually do need to be at this meeting, so. He forces his temperature lower and tries to focus as the meeting actually starts. It definitely says something about how used they're getting to Shigaraki unlocking new quirks that aside from his initial outburst, no one else brings it up throughout the rest of the meeting. 

And it's a long, tedious, frustrating meeting. Because nothing is finished, nothing is going to be finished for the rest of the week, and that means that no matter what other things they might get up to while they've got some free time, they're going to be overworked as soon as it ends again. But there's nothing for that. It is what it is and they can only do so much-- all that bullshit that Duster usually tells him when Dabi is about to start tearing staples from his skin when he feels like he's stalling out. He'll happily submit to those platitudes right now if it means that he gets to rail his lover as soon as the others leave. 

They have just barely closed out the meeting before Dabi turns to Duster, and that's still apparently too slow. 

Toga immediately launches herself at him, getting her arms around his neck and hanging on, "You look so pretty like this, Tomu!" 

"Do I?" And it's all amusement. He must know exactly how good he looks. Never had any problem with his confidence before now, and Dabi's sure this quirk won't have changed that. 

"Totally, but those clothes so aren't cute. We should go out and get you some new ones." 

"What?" Dabi interjects, wanting to get his lover in bed and get very familiar with the new quirk as soon as possible. "You're not stuck like this, are you?" Because if he's not then getting new clothes right now is not really super necessary. Could always order something for the next time he changes into this form. 

"I'm not stuck," Duster reassures him immediately. "And we can't go shopping, Toga." 

"Come on! I can transform and you look so different right now! If you put on your facemask and coat, no one will know." And then she goes for the fucking kill, big sad puppy eyes and, "I haven't gotten to go shopping with anyone since Magne..." 

And Dabi knows he's not getting laid any time soon. "That's a cheap fucking move, and you're a horrible manipulative little gremlin." He tells her. 

"Don't pout, firefly." Tomura tells him, hand reaching for his arm and pulling him closer. Close enough he can murmur in his ear, "I'll find something to make it worth the wait, baby." And then he presses those fuller lips against his cheek, overlapping his staples the same way he always does. 

As soon as he pulls away, Toga is grabbing Duster's other arm and tugging him out of his chair, already listing a string of shops that she wants to take him to. Ugh. She's so damn happy that Dabi can't do more than pout for a second as he watches them go. He does get to watch Duster walk away after all, and that's always a pretty solid consolation prize. 

///

He doesn't waste his day once they've headed out. He tries his best to be as productive as he can be, tries to get anything done that his lover might want to see to, just wants to make sure that when he comes back he can monopolize his time. Because holy fuck, he is always gagging for Tomura, but his lover is usually hellbent on spoiling or torturing him. But right now, well, his lover has a whole new body right now. Dabi's sure that he wants to try whatever he can while he's like this. Wants to have Duster under him, wants to make him feel as good as he always makes him feel. And he absolutely does not want any kind of work taking away Duster's attention. 

So he finishes what he can and he waits. 

And waits.

And waits.

It's sundown before he hears Toga's loud, cheerful voice ringing out from their common area. Dabi immediately heads in that direction towards louder chatter, definitely hearing Spinner and Twice's voices joining in. He rounds the corner and nearly turns right around again so he doesn't embarrass himself by starting to smoke again. But Jesus fucking Christ, Tomura must be trying to kill him. 

His lover has set a small array of bags onto the coffee table and has clearly changed since he saw him this morning. Has clothes of his own that fit his body like this now, and the pantsuit he's wearing now is white and black, high collar and decorated with two small moth charms connected by a silver chain, pants high-waisted and straight legged, shirt baggier, long-sleeved, and tucked in. His fur-lined red coat is draped over his shoulders and his long white hair is pulled up into a wild pony, with pieces still hanging around and across his face. Fucking hell, Toga must have also taken him to get his nails and makeup done, because his lips are painted deep burgundy and eyeliner or mascara or something must have been applied to his lover's normally pale lashes to make them look so dark and full, creating a beautiful frame for his vibrant red eyes. Wonders how he handled a nail tech painting his deadly hands, but his nails are long and shaped into perfect almonds with a gradient of black polish fading away closer to his cuticle. 

Toga immediately starts laughing, which must mean she can smell how badly he wants to take Tomura to bed, and when that sound catches his attention, he turns to find him. And fucking smirks. Oh, Dabi is going to have to kill them both. 

"What do you think?" Toga asks him, throwing out her hands as if she needs to direct his attention to his lover. 

He's honestly glad that he doesn't just grab Tomura and start to drag him back towards their bedroom, instead managing, "Why so many bags? I thought you weren't stuck?" 

"I'm not," Duster reassures him again, gathering them on one arm. "But Toga was right, this was an effective disguise. If Re-Destro ever needs me at Detnerat in the future, I wanted to have some appropriate clothes for it." And he, thankfully, does start to come towards him and the door. The others don't have to die because Spinner and Twice stop Toga before she can cockblock him again, and Duster breezes past him, expecting he'll follow. He does, eagerly. 

And in just a few minutes they are finally, finally behind the closed door of their room and Dabi can't wait any longer. He catches Tomura around his waist and pulls him closer. He's maybe another centimeter or two shorter in this form, but he still feels solid, muscle and softer curves in equal measure which is so fucking hot-- He presses in for a kiss and Tomura lets him. Soft full lips against his, slick with the lipstick, but still shattered the way he expects of his lover's mouth. He tries to pull Duster in tighter, wants to surround him with his body the way Shig always does for him-- only to get a firm four-fingered hand pressing against his sternum and a hard nip to his lips. 

He parts immediately, worried he's overstepped-- But Tomura's eyes are hot on him and he's not pulling away. Moving  closer instead, the press of his breasts against his chest now a foreign sensation, but certainly not an unwelcome one. "Now, now, firefly, don't be greedy. You know the rules." 

Dabi feels his face heat, "But--" 

Sharper eyes on him as Duster takes half a step away from him and Dabi wants to hold onto him tighter. "Did you really think that anything would be different just because I look like this, princess?" 

He has to bite his tongue. Has to because his whole body is going impossibly hot at hearing his lover call him that while looking like this. "I... I thought--" Definitely being glared at when he doesn't immediately fall in line. "I'm sorry...sir?" 

"We'll see." Duster tells him with the same haughtiness that his lover reaches for so casually when they're like this. When he knows that he can take Dabi apart with nothing more than a word. "Take off your clothes, baby girl." 

Dabi is still reeling a little, but this is familiar. Knows how to be good for his lover, and he's so hot already just seeing him like this that it's not difficult to fall into line, even if he thought that maybe tonight things would be different. Is Duster going to fuck him full on one of their toys and not even let him touch? Deny himself a whole array of new sensations just to make sure that Dabi knows exactly who owns him no matter what his body looks like? It's a dumb question, he knows his lover absolutely would. Willing to do almost anything to be certain that Dabi knows is place.

He strips away his clothes layer by layer under Duster's watchful eye, Sir having taken a seat on the edge of the couch to watch him as he does, legs crossed. His face heats as he strips away his boxers and his cock is already starting to harden just having his eyes on him while he does this, embarrassment hot under his skin. 

"Do you like it that much, princess?" Made so much worse when Tomura's voice goes so mean and mocking, as he trails a hand along his neck, down his collarbone, and then cups himself through his shirt, squeezing enough to make the fabric bunch and his lashes flutter. Dabi's mouth goes dry. Wants his hands there, at Tomura's waist, around his thighs, between them. Wants to lick and suck at his skin and see if he can coax any new sounds out of him while he's like this. Wants to know how many times his lover can cum while he's like this, how wet he'll be, what he tastes like--

"Sir, please," 

Begging already and they haven't even done anything. Tomura laughs, and it's higher, but just as mean as it normally is. Mean in a way that makes him hotter as Duster lets go of himself. "Already so needy, sweetheart? Can't have you misbehaving so soon. Go put on your ring, baby girl." 

Evil. But he knew that before they'd started sleeping together, and Dabi wants to earn his reward. He goes over to the nightstand and finds his ring in the sea of toys they keep close by and resigns himself to a night of torture instead of indulgence as he puts it on and the familiar pressure chokes away any possibility for release until Tomura gives him permission-- if he does. 

"Sit pretty, princess." Dabi's face burns, but he grabs a pillow from the bed, and puts it on the floor, moving to kneel on top of it, his hands clasped behind his back as he faces the bed. Hears the rustle of fabric being moved, being set aside before Tomura approaches. Cool metal fingers stroke over his cheek, trailing down his chin, neck, to his chest, and he cups his the same way, rolling a nipple between his fingers and stealing Dabi's building heat everywhere he touches. "Such a good girl." 

Always humiliating to be called that. More humiliating because he likes it so much, it turns him on so quickly to be made into this for Tomura's pleasure. But right now? When his lover actually is a girl for the time being? Dabi doesn't know if he's going to survive this encounter or if he'll boil his brain into soup when Duster does really start to use him in earnest. The hand trails over his clavicle as Tomura moves around to perch on the edge of the bed and Dabi evaporates all the moisture in his mouth. 

He sits, crossing his legs, leaning back so that Dabi can see every line and curve of his body. And how dark red lace is accentuating each one. Can't help staring at him like he's starving for the sight of his lover, the swell of his breasts, petal pink nipples hardened buds he can just see through the lace cupping them. The beautiful planes of muscle along his flat stomach, high straps of his thong dragging his gaze lower, his cunt hidden behind the fabric and the way his legs are crossed. Long pretty legs with thick thighs encased in sheer stockings edged in the same lace. His hair has been let down and he must have turned on the growing one while they were out because it's spilling down his back in a wild mane that frames his features, a cloud of white against pale skin and dark fabric and-- and he looks ethereal. Dabi is pretty sure if Duster ever wears this form while fighting, his victims will be certain they were killed by a Valkyrie before they crumble away into dust. 

"Oh, princess," he murmurs, leaning forward to cup his face in his hands, thumbs stroking his seams. "You're already smoking? Really miss having a woman so much?" 

No. He likes pussy, likes tits just fine, but he's more than happy to have his lover's cock in his throat, buried inside of him and making him see stars. He's never really missed having anything else as long as he's been with Tomura. That's not what's making him so hot. "No, sir," he manages after a second, can taste the smoke on the back of his tongue, "Just want you. Want to make you feel good." And then just because he can't help it, "You're beautiful." 

Duster's expression loses that mocking edge, that bit of meanness, and he leans in again. Kisses him sweet and deep, takes Dabi's breath away. "And if what makes me feel good is leaving you so needy?" 

His cock already hurts. Holy fuck, he is starving for his lover, has been since he saw him this morning, but, "Anything for you, sir." 

"Such pretty words for me today, let's see if you can live up to them." And he leans back, uncrossing his leg and pressing his toes to Dabi's chest. "Take off my stockings." Dabi unlocks his hands from behind him and starts to reach. "Behave yourself, princess." More warning in his tone. No touching anywhere he doesn't need to, no making any needy noises. Just be good and prove to Sir he can earn anything else. 

Dabi carefully hooks his fingers under the edge of lace and starts to work the clingy fabric down Tomura's leg. He wants to touch, to linger. Wants to wrap his hand around the back of his leg and press kisses along his thigh. He wants to know how that little sigh he sometimes gets out of his lover sounds out of feminine vocal chords. But he behaves himself. Takes off the first and sets it aside, and then starts to go to the next. A needy whine slips out of his throat before he can stop himself. 

Tomura has slipped his hand into his panties, his fingers toying with himself through the thin layer of fabric and he can see that it's getting darker at his center, wetter as he watches him with lazy, half-lidded eyes. Doesn't stop as he reprimands him, "You have something better to do than stare, kitten." 

Dabi tries to focus, goes to the next stocking and takes that one off with the same care as the first, then he forces himself to put his hands behind his back. Tomura doesn't even acknowledge him, instead continuing to play with his new anatomy through his undergarments, other hand moving to pinch at his nipple. Strokes his fingers along himself, the sound growing wetter as he keeps doing so, his panties getting darker, as his fingers dip inside before moving back up to rub and circle around his clit. Dabi's cock aches as he watches Duster's eyes flutter shut, a soft breath leaving him as his hand works. God, he wants to touch.  But he said he'd be good. Said he'd behave. So he sits and watches as his lover works himself up, as his fingers move faster, as he finds what he likes, as he has to knot four fingers in the sheets as he leans back a little further so that he can rock his hips into his touches as they build. His painted lips fall open, but no sound comes out as he keeps working himself up. Higher and higher, a pretty blush spreads over his cheeks. Oh, fuck. Never seen that before. It makes him look so vibrant. Alive. Always looks like he's got one foot in the grave because of his quirk. Never seen him so affected, and he's not even touching his lover. 

Dabi watches breathlessly as Tomura works himself up, over, and sees his orgasm wash through him. The muscles in his thighs jump as his back bows slightly and he lets out a pant, but no other sound. Some things are still the same then, but he wonders if enough of that pleasure, pleasure written into every line of his face, in a row would finally make his lover moan and scream the way Duster always makes him. Dabi feels half-crazed as he wonders if he could make Duster feel so good he cries in this form. 

But he won't get to. Not if Tomura doesn't let him. Not if he's never allowed to touch. Tomura shivers and lets out another little sigh before opening his eyes again, and Dabi can only imagine how desperate he looks. Sir pulls his hand from his panties and leans forward on the bed, using his other to tilt Dabi's chin up. "Always want something in your mouth. Are you still hungry for it, princess?" 

"Yes, sir." Wants to taste him. Opens his mouth eagerly when Tomura brings his wet fingers to his face. Isn't stopped from licking at his skin, sucking his juices from his deadly fingers, and the taste really isn't that different from what he's used to from his cock, but it's never about the taste. He doesn't care, he doesn't even have that great of a sense of taste since he had to have his tongue reattached. It's about knowing it's his lover's slick on his tongue, knowing that he's not letting him lick him where he wants to. That he's helpless to do anything but take what little scraps that he's being given because Tomura gets to choose what he deserves. He licks up everything he's given and keeps sucking at Sir's fingers until he finally pulls them away. Wipes away Dabi's spit against his cheek and that's so demeaning-- his cock aches as it gives a desperate little twitch, a pearl of pre barely managing to bead on his tip. 

Tomura sees it and laughs, cruel and perfect and making his whole body hum with pleasure-pain as his arousal spikes his quirk even higher. "Oh, baby girl." That just makes him tremble harder. Always makes him so hard when Tomura calls him that. Thinks that right now, with his lover like this, it's going to do catastrophic, irreversible things to his brain. 

"Tomura," barely a word the way Dabi is whimpering. He wants to touch so badly. He doesn't know if he's going to survive not being allowed to. His lover stands from the edge of the bed, reaching around to unhook his bra, and discards it as he moves to the side drawers, the ones filled with all of their other toys. 

"Okay princess, lay on the bed, on your back for me." Dabi scrambles to do so, hoping that means that Tomura is going to use him in some other way. He would take anything if that just means that he can touch. He lays down and after a minute Sir comes back over, setting something onto the mattress before he's leaning over him. His long hair falls around them in a curtain, blocking out the rest of the world, and Dabi's eyes greedily eat up the sight of his lover. He really is breathtaking like this. Still strong and imposing, still pretty, but the difference is novel and captivating. Can't help devouring the sight of his lover's new body completely naked now. The full curve of his breasts and the pebbled pink nipples, the flat v of his pelvis leading to his-- he can't really see as much as he wants because Tomura is catching his chin and dragging his head up. He wants a kiss, but instead he finds cool leather and chain being looped around his neck. "There, baby girl, how does that feel?" He curls the leash around one hand, only giving him a foot of slack.

"Good, sir," he says immediately. Chokes a second later when Tomura pulls it tight and the chains slide loudly through one another and constrict around his neck. It's not too hard, Tomura doesn't want to do real damage to his throat, but just being choked lightly has him moaning readily again, hips jumping, his cock throbbing with his need and helpless to get any kind of release. As soon as he gets breath back in his lungs he's begging, "Please, please, Tomura, please!" Misbehaving already, but he can't help it. "Please, sir, I need you."

"You need me, princess?" He purrs. His free hand moves down Dabi's body, sharp manicured nails scraping over his chest and seams, moving along his hip bone, over his thigh. Dabi whimpers when dry fingers rub against his hole. "You just want your pussy full, baby?"

"No, sir." He admits weakly, unsure if this is going to get him more or get him punished. 

Tomura's fingers leave his hole. "Oh? But you were begging for me just a moment ago. Are you having a hard time deciding what you really want, princess?" 

"No, sir," he still isn't being given much air, but he'd happily give it all up to say, "I want you, I want to make you feel good." 

"You already said that, baby. But you're still begging, so you must want something else." He waits and Dabi's throat is thick and even tighter when he manages to whimper, 

 "I-- I want to fuck you, sir." He admits, trembling. 

His lover's eyes shine with a cruel mirth. "There it is." Tomura rubs the back of his knuckles along the staples piercing his cheek and Dabi does his best to not melt into that touch like a puppet with his string cut. "Why do you think that having me like this makes things any different? You know you never get to put your naughty cock inside of me." 

He whimpers. He knows that. Knows he's Sir's sub, his bottom, made to have his greedy hole filled up with Sir's cock and cum until he's so full he can't tell up from down. But-- "Just once, please, Tomura? I-- I want you to feel what it's like." 

Tomura hums in the back of his throat, eyes moving from his, dragging down over his body and to his aching, flushed cock. His head tilts slightly, considering. "Alright, baby girl," Dabi opens his mouth to thank him, but the leash is tugged on sharply again, held taught this time until there are black spots blooming across his vision and he's having a hard time focusing on anything. 

When the air is finally allowed to rush back into his lungs, he finds that Tomura is perched over him now, his thick thighs spread, kneeling over him and Dabi can see him. See his pretty cunt, flushed even pinker than his nipples or cheeks, all smooth pretty skin, no hair able to grow still because of his quirk-- unless he and Toga got waxed on their little shopping day adventure too. He's still slick, the light glistening off of the moisture clinging to his folds, and he's perched right over him. Ready to sink down and fill himself up with his cock. 

"Listen to me, princess." Like Dabi isn't absolutely held captive by everything that Tomura is doing to him. "You are not going to fuck me." He whimpers, but doesn't protest outright. "You are going to lay there and hold still, and I am going to use your cute clit as a toy. And if you can be a good girl and behave until I'm finished, then I'll give you a reward, sweetheart. And if you can't..?" 

"I'll need to be punished, sir." He agrees through his aching throat. 

"That's my good girl. Now hold still." 

Dabi is helpless to do anything else as Tomura shifts his weight. The hand not occupied with his leash wraps around his cock and Dabi keens, which has him being choked again the next second as Tomura, completely undaunted, starts to sink onto him. It probably doesn't matter that he's being choked because he's pretty sure he would've stopped breathing anyway as he's surrounded by the tight, wet, cool press of Tomura's cunt enveloping his length. Oh fuck. Dabi moans through the pressure on his throat. Holy fuck, oh god. It feels so good. Hasn't ever been inside of his lover anywhere but occasionally his throat, and he's used to how low his body temperature feels in comparison to his own, but this is different. Hasn't ever felt a pussy like this before, hasn't had one in a year and a half now. He's suddenly very, very grateful to be wearing his ring because he has the sneaking suspicion that if he wasn't, he would have cum embarrassingly quickly from the way Tomura's eyes flutter shut, how his pretty lips open around a soft gasp, and how he feels as he trembles slightly in his lap as he seats himself fully onto Dabi's cock. 

"Oh, princess," Tomura rolls his hips, giving Dabi slack on his leash so he can suck in a few gasping breaths. He has to fist his hands in the sheets to stop himself from reaching to grab Tomura. Doesn't know if he wants to stop his lover or let him keep going, just knows that feeling his cunt squeezing his cock is sending pleasure through him so sharply he's bleeding smoke, dizzy from his heat and being choked both. "I can feel all of your cute accessories, baby girl." He purrs, pretty red eyes opening halfway, looking down at him through those long, lovely lashes. Fuck, 

"You're so beautiful," the words slip out of him. Tomura's lips curve into a soft smile before he rests both hands against Dabi's chest, toying with his seam and nipples. 

"Barely started and you're already so drunk on my pussy, baby?" Mocking again as he lifts himself halfway up his length before dropping back down hard. Dabi cries out, the movement making him see stars, his hips jumping-- Tomura chokes him again. Doesn't just do that, his hand cracks across his face, the sharp sting of his palm against his cheek has his staples scraping his gums and tears springing to his eyes. "What the fuck was that, you filthy little whore?" 

Dabi sobs, his cock throbs. The pain and humiliation are so sharp against his nerves and add a layer to his pleasure that makes him so desperate. When he's given slack on his leash again, he barely takes half of a breath before he's blubbering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'm sorry--" 

"I told you not to move," Tomura hisses, but his voice is a little thinner than it usually is. The blush across his cheeks is darker than it was before he got on top of him. 

"I'm sorry, I won't, please, your toy, Tomura, please, I'll be good," He pleads. 

"Pathetic. Can't even follow the most simple orders." Rises so that he's barely inside of his soaked cunt and then drops back down much harder than before. Dabi sobs again, but he holds still, sinks his teeth hard into his lower lip to keep from begging for more. Tomura sets into that fast, rough rhythm, not stopping even as he continues speaking. "Said you were going to behave so many times already, and you haven't managed it once. I'm going to have to keep you locked up for a month and re-train you, princess. Going to stuff up your cunt and put you in your cute little lingerie, and then make you sit quiet and pretty until your pathetic little clit just dribbles through your cage." Tomura's hips shift slightly and he lets out a sharp breath, his spine going rigid. Dabi's knuckles ache from how hard he's clenching the sheets as his lover uses him like a dildo. As he angles his hips a little more on the next thrust and Dabi feels a spongier texture along his inner walls. Tomura's pussy gets even wetter as he lets out a low moan. 

Dabi is going to boil his fucking brain. His cock is throbbing, aching, his balls have never been this sore. But he keeps himself quiet except the hitching breaths of his sobs, even tries to keep those soft, because he wants to hear all of the tiny sounds that Tomura is letting out. He seems to have forgotten his anger, that Dabi needs to be reprimanded, because he's distracted fucking himself full on Dabi's cock. His sharp nails are biting into his chest as he uses him as leverage as he keeps moving. His eyes have slipped closed, his chest heaving with his breaths, and Dabi can feel the tremble of his thighs against him every time he brings their bodies completely flush to one another again. And he's so wet, and so tight, getting tighter on every thrust as his muscles clench down around his cock like they don't want to let him go every time he's fully inside. 

Tomura keeps going for ages it feels like, until the air between them is thick with the smoke pouring out of Dabi's seams. He thinks he really might be losing his mind with how badly he wants to cum, but he bites his lip hard and doesn't make a sound. He was so bad already tonight, he doesn't want Sir to punish him any worse and stop playing with him all together. When Tomura grabs one of his wrists, he whimpers, trying to pull back, scared that he's somehow done something else wrong. 

But lust-hazy red eyes open and lock on him, and all Dabi wants to do is-- Tomura guides his hand to just above where they're joined. "Touch me, there. Right there." Dabi sets to the task immediately. Hasn't wanted to do anything but touch his lover all day, and immediately rolls his thumb over his gorgeous, swollen clit. It earns him the best sound he's ever heard his lover make. A loud, unabashed, throaty moan that spills from his chest like it was torn out of him. Dabi rubs and circles, tries to do it at the same pace as Tomura's desperate, frantic thrusts. "Good-- Fuck, good girl, baby." The praise makes his already aching nerves sting sharply, but he can't focus on his need, not when Tomura is moving over him, is looking like a fucking goddess as he does so, as his back arches and he has to pull his hands sharply away from Dabi's body so that he doesn't activate his quirk as he cums on Dabi's cock. 

Dabi keens, his cock is being strangled in his lover's tight, soaked pussy, and he wants to cum so, so badly too as he watches him shudder and pant on top of him. He starts to ease his fingers off of his clit-- and red eyes snap to him in a sharp glare. "Did I say you could stop?" 

Oh fuck. Dabi doesn't, and after another few seconds as Tomura catches his breath, he starts to roll and rock his hips again. He doesn't know how long it takes before Tomura is working back up into that fast pace again. But it feels so good and Dabi keeps his fingers moving, his hips still, his whole body shaking like a leaf under the unrelenting sensation. He tries so, so hard to hold on. He said he just wanted to make Tomura feel good, he meant it, but it's too much. Dabi breaks with another sob, 

"Y-yellow, Tomu--" 

The thrusts slow immediately, his lover focusing on him, hand not tangled in his leash moving to wipe away some of his tears as he shushes him gently. "What's wrong, firefly? What don't you like, baby girl?" His chest is still heaving, his skin shining with sweat, can feel his thighs shaking against his. 

"M-my ring, too much-- I'm sorry--" Should be better, should be able to do whatever his lover wants after how badly he's misbehaved so far tonight. 

"Shh, sweetheart." Tomura leans in and kisses him gently. "You're being such a good girl telling me what you need. Do you want to keep playing, baby?" 

Doesn't know how long Tomura will stay like this, wants to make sure that he enjoys his new form as much as he wants before he goes back to normal. He gives a weak nod. 

"Okay, baby girl. Here's what we're going to do," Tomura sits up a little more and Dabi can't help keening as he feels his wet walls shifting against him again. His lover can't help the little sharper inhale that he sucks in at the sensation either. "I'm going to take off your ring. All you have to do is try to last until I'm finished, and if you can, then you won't be punished anymore tonight, understand, princess?" 

"Yes, sir." He breathes. He doesn't know if he can be good. He's so close already. But he'll try. He'd do anything for Tomura. 

His lover starts to move again, coaxes his fingers back against his soaked clit. Trying to work himself up again, to get close again so that Dabi doesn't have to hold on for as long. Easymode, because he loves him, because he doesn't want him to feel bad about being so ruined. Trying to soothe him and make sure he floats instead of drops when they stop. He tries to focus on those things, tries to pull himself back from the edge. Tomura reaches to undo the clasp around his balls. 

As soon as it's not restricting him anymore, his cock twitches. Tomura lifts until he's barely inside, slams back down with the sharp sound of skin against skin. And Dabi gives another sob, a moan, can't stop himself. He cums so hard inside of his lover's body. Tomura keens, a high, sharp sound that he's never heard his lover make before, that he is going to be replaying over and over in his head forever as his pleasure wracks his body. "H-hot!" Tomura moans, and then he's going so tight around his cock again, milking out the last drops of his cum as he shudders through another orgasm of his own. 

They're both gasping, panting messes as they take a minute to come down from the high. His lover sighs softly, "My toy broke." His voice equal parts mocking and disappointed. Tomura lifts himself off of his softening cock and gives a little tug on his leash. "On your hands and knees, princess." 

Dabi manages sluggishly, his brain feels like it definitely got boiled, but he gets into the position that Tomura wants as his lover swaps places with him on the bed. Settles with his back against the mattress and head on the pillows, spills his legs open and watches him with those gorgeous eyes. "I'm sorry, sir." He barely manages to whisper. 

Tomura hums and reaches between his legs, spreading his lips, letting Dabi see how flushed his cunt is letting him see-- He sinks two fingers carefully into his hole, making Dabi's cum spill out around his fingers. If he hadn't just trembled through such an intense orgasm, he's pretty sure that the sight alone would have made him ready for another. As is, his aching cock gives a little twitch, trying to fill again. "And it made such a mess," he says, amusement seeping into his tone. "But I'm not finished yet." Pulls his fingers out and pulls on his leash. Makes Dabi move closer, close enough. His dirty fingers rub over his lower lip, like they did before. "So you're going to clean up your mess, until I'm all done. This is your punishment, do you understand, princess?" 

Dabi's whole body goes hot. "Yes, sir," this isn't a punishment at all. Takes Tomura's fingers back between his lips and licks away the tangled mix of their juices without hesitation. He makes sure there's nothing on his skin before he's lowering himself to the bed, carefully, and hesitantly wrapping his hands around Tomura's thighs. His lover is watching him from the pillows, expression soft and indulgent now. That's all the permission that he needs. 

Dabi licks along his cunt eagerly. Flattens his tongue and lets his stud drag against him, cleaning away the cum that's already leaked out of him. Moves to his clit and gives a few long, slow licks, just wanting to taste him, just wanting to make sure that he's ready for more. Licks and sucks at his clit until it's flushed even darker and Tomura's free hand is in his hair, scratching his nails lightly across his scalp as he pets him. Rewards Dabi with soft, breathy little sounds as he lavishes his lover's cunt with his tongue. Only goes lower when that gentle hand pulls lightly at his hair. Licks out the mess of his own cum and Tomura's slick from his entrance, does it greedily, wanting to push his tongue inside and feel those soft walls tighten around his tongue the same way they had around his cock. Licks and swallows away his release until all he can taste is his lover, moves back up to his clit as he brings his fingers to his hole, sinks two inside and has them rubbing and crooking up, looking for that denser patch of tissue that will make everything better for his lover. Finds the spongy texture of his g-spot and keeps rubbing there as Tomura moans and grinds his cunt against him, trying to get more. Dabi gives it happily. Keeps his mouth working, his tongue and fingers flicking. Anything for his lover. Just wants to make Tomura feel good. 

Dabi has no idea how long he eats out his lover. Knows he gets Tomura off a few more times with his mouth and fingers, eventually even ends up on his back again, his lover riding his face as he clutches the headboard and moans so loudly and unabashedly. Knows that he liked that so much, that he'd cum all over himself without a hand anywhere near his cock. Hadn't even wanted to stop then, even though he re-split his lip again and his lover's fluids and his blood were dripping all over his face. 

///

He's floating so high, for so long, that Dabi is disoriented when he starts to come back. Confused because he's aching, but not the places he is usually aching after Tomura works him over so thoroughly that he loses hours to the heady fog of his subspace. Blinks as he feels hands petting along his back, through his hair again, but his head is pillowed on a soft, moving chest--Oh. He blinks and looks up. Tomura is staring off into space. Never really sees him do that. Still a woman for the time being. Dabi sits up a little more and that has his attention shifting again. That perfect, soft, warm smile that Dabi fucking lives for spreads over his features. 

"There you are, firefly." And he pulls him in for a sweet kiss. It's very light, but that doesn't stop Dabi from being immediately aware of how his lip hurts, how his jaw hurts the same way it does when Tomura lets him cockwarm him for a whole afternoon or evening. 

"Good?" Is the first thing he can think to say, his brain still syrupy and sluggish.

Tomura pulls him closer, letting their naked bodies tangle together, and it's different, but the same, and Dabi cuddles in as close as he's allowed. "Very good, baby girl. Did you like playing while I was like this?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"Good, we can talk about if we want this to be a reward going forward. But we made a mess, princess. Time to go get cleaned up, and you need to eat something--" Dabi's brain is starting to reboot enough to open his mouth to make a comment about that. "Substantial." Tomura cuts him off before he can say anything that's going to get him into more trouble. "And if you're a good girl, then maybe before bed, I'll change back and fill up your pretty cunt. How does that sound, precious?" 

Dabi's breathless. "Good, sir." 

"Good. Come on, let's go take a shower, sweetheart." 

They manage to get out of bed, but he's not the only one who's a little unstable. Dabi can't help but feel a curl of pride going through his gut. Normally Tomura just wants to make him cum so many times, or deny him until just one orgasm, shatters him into a million pieces. This is absolutely going to have to be a reward of some kind, because just knowing he could have helped to make Tomura feel so good that his perfect composure slipped, is enough to make him want to melt right back into his subspace. 

"Tomura?" 

"What is it, firefly?" He asks as he pulls open the shower door. 

"...Can you use me like that again? When you're back to normal?" He asks, a flicker of nervousness going back through him. He's Tomura's toy, he decides how to play with him, but-- but he would like to know he can make his lover feel that good no matter what his body is like. 

Sir doesn't make him explain himself, catches him around his hips and pulls him close instead, pressing kisses to his eyelids, his forehead, his lips. "We can do that, baby." He agrees gently. "Would you want to try this quirk? Let me show you how good you made me feel?" 

Breathless when he agrees with another needy little, "Yes, sir."

Tomura kisses him again and hums, "Wonder if you'll like being my good girl even more when you really have a tight little pussy for me to fuck."

The sound he makes is aroused and miserable all in one breath. They don't have anything to do for the rest of the week, and Dabi already has a sneaking suspicion he knows exactly what they're going to be doing with the time off. Oh, he is going to die and die happy and completely blissed out of his mind if his lover has anything to say about it. 

God, AFO was a fucking creep and a bastard who hoarded a million stupid, useless quirks, but Dabi is glad he stole this one. He and Duster are definitely going to get plenty of use out of it. 

Thanks for submitting!

[jelly-and-strawberries]

Music Event Scenario ♡

Since apparently there's no scene for the image... I made one myself. Hope you like it.

After we managed to make that cacophonous snake go away, the guys and I finally breathed a sigh a relief.

"Why do I feel this isn't the first time we end up fighting a gigantic snake to save the day?" Said Mathieu with a strong feeling of deja vu.

"Last Christmas was the same, remember? A snake was stealing gifts" Mentioned Nevra who instead of looking tired had a bothered expression in his face. Probably because we five were always the ones who had to solve the problems on special occasions like today.

"Hopefully, it won't come back next year" Voiced Leiftan as if reading the mind of all of us.

"Don't give it ideas" Retorted Lance with irritation. It was understandable, we had wasted a lot of our time just so the others back at H.Q could enjoy the music festival. Now, the sun was going down and the concert would start-...

"OH NO!" I shouted causing the four to turn their heads in my direction. "What time is it?!"

"Ummm the sun is almost gone, so I would say... it's six or seven o'clock" Answered Mathieu nonchalantly.

"FUCK, I'M SO LATE!" I practically ran past the woods towards the H.Q while thinking how to be ready in five minutes.

"Late for what? If I may ask..." Asked Leiftan who catched up to me with the rest.

"The concert!" I said without slowing down my pace. Thanks to the their silence, I knew they didn't understand my sudden urge to go. "Remember I was supposed to sing a human song for Lady Beulanelle?"

"Shit, that's true" Mumbled Mathieu while messing with his hair.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I gave Nevra a hard look for his unsupportive words.

"I can't go on stage like this, I look like I got beat up!" It was not a good time for Nevra to get on my nerves. "Besides, Purriry made me a special outfit for the ocassion".

"Dressing up shouldn't take you too long" Said Lance, another one who did not understand my struggle.

"I also have to do my hair and make up" I explained feeling deeply stressed. "I'll never be ready on time..."

Now Huang Hua will have another thing to use against me and make me feel guilty.

"How about we help you?" Offered Leiftan. "I can do your make up."

Leiftan... I couldn't help to look at him with adoration.

"I can help with the hair, I have a lot of experience because of Karenn" Said Nevra avoiding my gaze, maybe because he was feeling a little embarrased. I wasn't expecting him to help me too.

"And surely there's something that Lance and I can do as well" Mathieu and Lance... I wasn't expecting them to help me, but I was really grateful for their support. "What do you say? Do you let us help you out?

"Thank you, guys!"

[ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ]

Once I took a shower, Mathieu and Lance helped me put on my clothes. The outfit consisted of different pieces, so it was going to take some effort to get it perfect.

I was gadly surprised with the seriousness they took in doing the task.

I had the impression that their hands lingered in some parts of my body while adjusting my clothes, but maybe it was my imagination.

I had four guys over me, I was bound to feel self-conscious.

On the other hand, Nevra and Leiftan looked very concentrated while doing my hair and make up.

The vampire was brushing my hair with the utmost care. I even caught him smiling, something very weird nowadays.

I could feel Nevra's breath against my neck which was making me feel flustered.

And with Leiftan it was no different... his face was right in front of mine. It was impossible to avoid his passionate emerald eyes.

It was so hard to remain calm when he applied the lipstick. By the way he smirked, I was sure he knew the effect he was having in me.

This situation was so surreal.

I was so thankful.

Maybe after the concert ended, I could compesate them for their hard work...

I had several ideas in mind and surely they had some of their own.

The image gives me so much material girl energy, I love it ♡

[coffeedepressionsoup]

Somebody Does Love | MYG - They Meet Again pt. 2

Pairing - Yoongi x F!reader

Summary - "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Two people are in love but that is not enough because sometimes loving requires courage. This is the one where fate plays games and Sammy plays Cupid. Part 3.5 of Somebody Does Love.

Series Masterlist

Genre - fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut and angst

Word count - 1.4k+

Warnings - lil swearing

Ratings - 13+

Taglist: @majiiisstuff @starlighttaek8 @yoongrace @proudnoona

A/N - Hello lovelies. Been in a writing slump. This is short-ish. Apologies if it's not too good. I had to get it out of my system to jumpstart my neurons. Not proofread.

“No, but if you resell it, you’ll get a good price,” Jaehyeong exclaimed.

“Are you sure it’s not a dupe?” you asked, chugging the last bit of drink in your glass.

Hoseok shook his head vehemently across the table and reached out to grab the lapel of the jacket in question, the one Dojoon was wearing now. He turned it inside out to show the lining where there was a textured material. “You can fake it down to the buttons, but not this.”

The jacket had gone around the room and everyone was fascinated by your kind knight-in-fancy-designer-jacket kitten rescue story.

They were equally amused by you being stood up by said knight. All of them had their theories - Jaehyeong claimed that the stranger was too rich to remember about the jacket, which Hajoon agreed with. Therefore, selling it on a second-hand fashion website was fair.

Dojoon claimed that the knight in question did not bother going back for the jacket because it probably was a gift or reminded him of a former lover and instead considered the opportunity of the jacket being used as a temporary kitten carrier by a stranger as good riddance. Yijeong agreed with him. Yijeong was Dojoon’s twin from another mother. They have been friends for a long time. They often agreed about a lot of things.

Sammy and Hoseok, however, blasted this guy-they-did-not-know the moment you told them that you waited almost 2 hours at the cafe, convincing yourself every 15 minutes to wait for another 15, on the off chance that he was stuck in traffic or whatever. Eventually, you thought a third cup of coffee would be a bit much that late in the evening and you also did not want to fill yourself up with bagels since you already had dinner plans.

Sammy called him several colourful alternatives of “jerk” every time the stranger was brought up. Hoseok passed you the chicken bucket and said, “It’s behaviour like this that shows, you can’t buy character.”

The only one who was quiet on the issue - who just nodded curtly to every opinion on the table - the one who downed seven of his nine big pegs till now in a single swig, was Yoongi. His silence on the issue was seen by his friends as a) him being shy in front of the new person joining them that evening, b) him not giving a fuck about the matter.

His silence and aversion of gaze every time it met yours was, however, read by you as disinterested, bordering on dismissive. Before you were a couple of drinks in, looking at Yoongi and trying to interact with him gave you weird little knots in your stomach.

It wasn’t you feeling intimidation or being starstruck. Age and years of being friends with Sammy had made you immune to celebrity vanity. Of course, you knew who Min Yoongi was. You loved his music and have been the longest fan of his group. When Sammy initially told you about the plan for the night, you had screeched hard enough to spook Woolfie out of his nap.

[His idea was to introduce you to some of his friends in Seoul to help you find your circle here, in case you connected with some of them. Not that he patronised your socialising skills but he knew that more often than not you had a habit of pulling yourself into a shell of seclusion, much to your detriment. Back in your hometown, you had other friends to pull you out of the occasional slump. In a new city though, you could see how easy it would be to melt into the background and continue having cup noodle meals in a nook of your apartment.]

But it wasn’t that.

You felt Yoongi’s gaze upon you sparingly enough throughout the evening to not be spooked but enough to know that he was avoiding direct conversation with you on purpose. So after your eighth drink of the night, when you and Yoongi were the only ones awake at the table, you decided to grab the bull by its horn.

Hoseok and Hajoon had moved to the kitchen to attempt to dig ice cream out of the freezer to satiate their craving for ice cream soda, and Sammy was passed out peacefully on the floor, with the fancy designer jacket acting as a cover. The rest of the party had left.

You sat up straight, well, as straight as you could sit without tipping over and rocked your body back and forth, ever so slightly. You crossed your arms over your chest and cleared your throat. Yoongi, pretending to be engrossed in his phone, looked at you from the corner of his eye, still making sure his back was slumped against the big sofa in the living room, urging every functioning neuron in his body to help him feign relaxation.

“Is there something about me you dislike?” you asked. You saw the finger scrolling on his phone pause.

Yoongi did not move for a couple of seconds. He hoped that he could pretend to not hear. But his jerk score had been through the roof this evening and he did not intend to take it any higher. He looked towards you and you drew in a breath, waiting for him to respond. He folded his outstretched legs to bring his knees up to his chest as he hung his arms over them, one of the hands still holding his phone. He said, in a voice deeper than you anticipated, “No, I don’t dislike anything about you.”

“Is it my presence itself that puts you off then?”

“No.”

“Then why have you been-”

“Avoiding talking to you?”

“Yeah?”

“You remind me of someone.”

“Oh!” your firm tone from earlier softening significantly. Yoongi could see confusion in your eyes as you struggled for an apt response to that. You had probably anticipated some amount of hostility but you “reminding” Min Yoongi of someone was not on your bingo card of the evening.

Was it a friend? A lover? A colleague? A no-one?

Before you could ask anything further, a very drunk Hajoon planted himself next to you. Hoseok followed him and handed you a beer glass full of ice cream soda. He also helped steer the conversation towards your move to Seoul, asking you more about your position at SNU and how you were friends with Sammy. Hajoon occasionally filled in on details that he was aware of including anecdotes from the few times you have met the band on tour when visiting Sammy.

This time though, drunk as you all were, the dynamic in the room changed. Yoongi was actively involved in this conversation. Listening, reacting, asking. This time around, he held your gaze, albeit fleetingly. The knots in your stomach shifted form. This time, it was less uncomfortable. During your recollection of drunk Sammy stories, you may have also heard Yoongi chuckle wholeheartedly at the story of how the two of you had once managed to nick a stranger’s toupe.

The throaty sound of his unadulterated amusement reverberated in your chest. But you tried to gather your thoughts so that you wouldn’t be caught swooning at a rapper that millions of people around the world wanted to marry.

Yoongi, on the other hand, could not look away from you. Did not want to either. Your confrontation with him earlier that hour had pulled him out of his head, his feelings of guilt and embarrassment from earlier that evening taking a back seat.

In its place, he felt the same warmth he felt when he saw you comforting the kitten. The disappointment he felt when he thought he had blown his only ever chance of seeing you again faded away. He felt relieved. Hella guilty, but also relieved. He could hope to see you again. He could hope to hear your voice again. He could hope for an opportunity to share a comfortable silence with you someday or a coffee.

[cafeseoulmate]

{3:06 AM}

almost lovers au; wc: 683

"Would you change things?"

Wonwoo whips his head to your direction so fast that he almost topples over in his place on the sofa in his dizziness, his hazy vision only clearing up as the question sinks in further in his almost sober state.

You meet his gaze with an equally flushed face and drowsy eyes, the last bottle of soju perspirating so much in your hands Wonwoo briefly thinks that the remaining contents would empty through osmosis. "Would you change things if you I told you how I feel and felt before much earlier?"

There's an uncomfortably long beat of silence. Right, Wonwoo blinks, you just confessed your feelings to him—of how you've been falling in and out of love by each other all this time—and he's been awfully quiet for more than two minutes. You must think, even in your heavily drunken state, that he's a jerk now.

Would he change things?

Your best friend shakes his head slowly. "I think..." He slurs slowly, sitting up properly and looking away to the picture frames behind you. "I don't know, I don't think so."

You nod, downing the last of tonight's soju and placing the bottle back on the coffee table.

"In the whole seven years we've been friends, I always thought that I liked you when you didn't like me and you said you liked me whenever I wasn't thinking of you that way. Right now, it's like that too." Wonwoo points out, blinking away the last of his drunkenness with a sigh. "Our timelines never match but we both always think after that we're better off as friends."

"We are better off as friends." You repeat in agreement, patting your damp hands down on your pajama shorts. There's a slight hesitance in the way you enunciate your words but Wonwoo blames it on the alcohol. "You're too good for me."

"I should be saying that to you."

You roll your eyes, playfully pushing him away but he doesn't budge. "Oh, shush. We both know you're carrying the sanity in this friendship, Jeon Wonwoo." You chuckle in amusement, turning your entire body to him this time. "So it's a no?"

Wonwoo shakes his head. "Even if one of us confessed while they had feelings, knowing our timelines now, it probably would've destroyed us than bring us together."

"Even when you're drunk, you still talk so logically." You scoff playfully. "God, this is why I kept coming back to you from time to time."

Wonwoo holds back a flattered smile by briefly turning his head away. "Don't say that or I'll actually catch feelings right now."

You chuckle tiredly. "Then I'll promise you this."

Wonwoo hums, propping an elbow up on the head cushions as he tilts his head towards you.

You clear your throat, patting your chest once as you try gathering all seriousness you can muster in the moment. "This is the last time I'll ever fall for you." You declare with a few more hiccups. "This weird cycle between us of—of liking each other but never at the same time stops with me. Then, we'll fall for other people right and actually be happy again as best friends."

Another long beat of silence. Wonwoo sighs under his breath as he glances at your sleepy face. "Then I promise, to help you, that I won't fall for you right after."

"Fall in love with someone else soon so you can help me get over you faster." You pout, to which Wonwoo laughs.

"I don't know how I'll do that but let's see." He shrugs before standing up from the sofa. "Tsk, anyway, enough drunk talk, we actually have to clean up your place and I have work in the morning."

You complain loudly in your drowsy state but help him clean up anyway, letting him drag you to your bedroom and tuck you in bed once the soju bottles and plastic bags of half-eaten snacks have been properly disposed of.

Wonwoo leaves your apartment sober after, sighing sadly to himself at your last conversation before heading home.

[fanvoidkeith]

holy shit the hazbin hotel show. wow. incredible. very neat that they went for an almost-musical style because they had so much lore

BY THE WAY! this is a going to be a LONG, ramble-y, spoiler-filled post, so i'm going to put a readmore here and my thoughts on the show will be under the cut. if you don't want to be spoiled for the Hazbin Hotel Official Show TM or don't like hazbin hotel... probably don't read the rest of this post lmao

anyways. here's all my thoughts on it, pretty much. enjoy! :]

i need one of those cat creatures immediately KEESHEE IS SO CUUUTE AWWWW. oh they're called keeshee because that's the. the key. to the hazbin hotel HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT UNTIL I FINISHED WATCHING THE SHOW

oh fuck there's just been a huge massacre. rip. this happens every year. i guess charlie isn't really allowed to mourn or grieve for long though? which is weird because it seems like she cares the MOST about her people (demons), so she should at least be allowed to cry about it. maybe sob and wail a little bit, y'know? also be ANGRY ABOUT IT. it'll give her more oomf if she gets to be angry on screen, y'know?

there's kind of a lot of songs but besides the very first one- "a happy day in hell", i think- i like them. the first one kept moving the "camera" around too much, so it was hard to focus

i think something is deeply wrong with niffty, but assuming her connection to alastor is voluntary... yeah i can see it. they're allies (maybe friends?) for a reason

angel dust my boy

SIR PENTIOUS MY BOY!!!!!!!!

sir pentious taking a small chunk out of alastor's coat and alastor getting PISSED was cool. especially because apparently "no one's gotten this much before". damn, dude

poor charlie trying to help these people who have no idea how to accept help because she's demon-born, one of the highest-ranking people in hell, and the rarest sort of person in hell- kind

"let's do trust falls!" charlie says, as most of her little group doesn't do the exercise and niffty uses it as an excuse for her masochist tendencies

angel dust taking them to a night club is kinda funny. sir pentious probably hasn't seen ANY of this shit before. neither has charlie, probably. idk about vaggie, but she's obviously uncomfortable. and oh my god niffty WOULD love being a dom, but honestly probably not for the sex reasons. i don't see her as that kinda person lol, considering she spends most of the show talking about pain and killing bugs with a knife

charlie's mom has been missing for seven years

how is adam an angel if he's an asshole and he hates women? genuine question. of course heaven's judgemental and shit- helluva boss's angels proved that- but like, why is the guy who's basically in charge THAT much of a dipshit

wait alastor's been missing for seven years too??

COINCIDENCE: I THINK NOT. alastor and lilith connection???

valentino is a bitch, naturally. and so are his cronies. and that tv guy. "the vees" or whatever

oh is the tv dude hating alastor a reference to the song "video killed the radio star" because that'd be funny

"he tried to recruit me and now he's mad i said no :)" and y'know what, alastor? slay

"hey, how did you miss me guys?" "we didn't, but i guess you show up anyways" "..." great job alastor, disappearing for seven whole years didn't make you more famous/infamous lol

AN ANGEL EXTERMINATOR IS DEAD AND BEHEADED. WHAT. HOW

there are demons older than alastor??? i mean. damn. that's crazy bro. lol

nooo angel not everyone thinks you're a crackhead!! :(

oh gods, angel dust's trauma. oh god. oh no

ANGEL. ANTHONY. ANGEL DUST MY BOYYYYY 😭

sick ass song though, reminds me of addict (his previous song that's not in the hazbin pilot or hazbin show but is probably still canon anyways)

angel dust and husk's rivalry-turned-i-guess-you're-alright-now thing was neat AND THEY HAD A SONG TOGETHER YESSSSS THAT WAS AMAZINGGGG

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE HUSKER WAS ONE OF THE OVERLORD HIGH RANKING DEMONS AT ONE POINT WHAT THE FUCK????????

guess we know kinda why he owes alastor "a favor" now, because he was a chronic gambler

why did vaggie get a random duet with this random lady (carmilla arms dealer woman)

okay sir pentious (my boy, i love him, he's my son) calling vaggie "vagatha" was kinda funny

are we SURE that carmilla isn't a former angel? she probably isn't, but she sure is knowledgeable of them

charlie going to heaven to try and bargain with the angels and then using The Orb to cut to the B plot was pretty smart, actually. fucking LOVED that idea. heaven is literally watching, everyone :)

angel dust protecting his friendssss aughhhhh

FUCK valentino. FUCKKKK VALENTINO I HATE HIM. i hate that his moth demon design thing is cool because if it wasn't i could fully hate him

okayyyy SO vaggie's previous backstory as a pop star who committed suicide has been retconned. alright then. they said "what will give our beloved fans the MOST heartache? i know! let's make charlie's girlfriend with an underdeveloped sense of character in this show because the pacing kinda sucks a FORMER ANGEL. A KILLER ONE. THE MURDEROUS ONES THAT WE'RE TRYING TO STOP"

girl. vaggie. it's pretty obvious now that i'm looking back that everyone knows you're an angel. EXCEPT FOR ME, APPARENTLY. BECAUSE SHE HAD A DIFFERENT BACKSTORY PREVIOUSLY. WHAT

NO ONE KNOWS HOW ANYONE GETS INTO HEAVEN?????

andnfjfgjsjdn the pacing again- i was laughing at a joke they made in the show and suddenly they cut to charlie sobbing 💀 i had to rewind to be able to process that- augh

didn't love charlie getting stressed and sad- poor charlie- but LOVED charlie telling alastor FUCK YOU. that was awesome

"oh, alastor, i know you're an ace in the hole" "i'm a what now?" rosie's telling you you're asexual, alastor

vaggie telling the hotel residents that she'd understand if they left

nooo charlie and vaggie fighting actually means something now :(

OMG CARMILLA GOT HER OWN SONG YESSSS i love it

charlie yelling "FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH" at that lady in cannibal town was awesome

VAGGIE AND CHARLIE COME BACK TO THE HAZBIN RESIDENTS TRYING TO FORTIFY THE HOTEL AAAAAWWWW

charlie getting vaggie a souvenir from cannibal town and vaggie immediately tearing up because she knew charlie forgave her was cuuuute

FUCK YEAH GIRLFRIENDS KISSING!! WHOOOOOO LET'S GO GAY PEOPLE!!! I LOVE IT

*smash bros ultimate announcer voice* EVERYONE IS HERE!

except for like... most of hell lmao

at least the vee's are watching lol

THE FINAL FIGHT WAS SO COOL OH MY GODSSS

charlie's war gear being a dress that looked like an APPLE CORE LIKE HER DAD AAAAAAAAAAA

NOOOO ALASTOR!! oh he's fine actually. thanks vox for confirming that alastor's not dead lmao

aww sir pentious actually got to show his interest in cherri bomb without chickening outttt awwwww

NOOOO MY BOY SIR PENTIOUS NOOOOOOOOOO HE SACRIFICED HIMSEEEELFFFFFFFF FUCK DUDE NOOO

fun fact: i actually had to pause the show for a few seconds to put my head in my hands because NOOO SIR PENTIOUS MY SON BOY BABY BOY

FATHER'S HERE TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTERRR

i love how easily lucifer dodged adam's attacks lmao

"TASTE MY MERCY, BITCH" another iconic line from mr. duck-collector king-of-hell himself

niffty coming in and stabbing adam a bunch of times was awesome

"charlie told me to stab, so i stabbed :)" niffty. love her. weird little freak. epic

alastor coming back to the hotel ONLY after a breakdown and being like "i'm fine now guys :)" is... uncannily relatable LMAO

"ugh, this guy" lucifer. he nearly died, calm down with the sass for a second, sir

"i will never understand your taste" me neither, alastor. i don't think anyone quite understands niffty

the news describing it as "lucifer's pathetic daughter saved by her daddy" makes sense but. jeez what an asshole way to put it. she's an adult! and the PRINCESS OF HELL no less!!

AAAAAAAAAA MY BOY SIR PENTIOUSSSSSSSS AUGH

"uhhh.... where am i?"

emily's face being ":D!!" and sera's face being like. horrified. was amazing

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Dead Beauty AU (Chapter seven!!)

In other words, about 3k words of everyone’s favourite de Vil cousins accomplishing exactly nothing.

They got to the garden slowly, walking at leisurely pace – no need to rush, really, since it’ll take some time for Carlos to get there, anyway. On unrelated note, Ivy has scraped up her knee; she was sliding on the railing by the stairs, as she just didn’t feel like dealing with the stairs today, not in her high heels at least.

Whatever.

The blood just adds to the aesthetic anyway.

And the bruise can be a future her problem.

She abruptly stops right in front of the lawn, if it can be called that, really: Overgrown weed sharp enough to cut skin, thorny bushes, some vaguely leafy stuff that she’s pretty sure she saw one of the Mims harvesting at some point.

It occurs to her that they should have demanded a payment for that, or at least a discount in the Apothecary.

Diego finally stops too, already halfway through the miserable parody of a lawn, and glares at them.

Ivy glares back and loses her balance a bit; she holds onto Claudine as she removes her heels.

She’s not walking on grass in heels, who do you think she is?!

She holds Claudine’s hand in one hand and her shoes in the other when she steps into the garden.

The ground feels weird under her bare feet, all squishy and muddy in all the wrong ways; she frowns and drops the shoes, as she has just decided they’re too much trouble anyway.

Neither Claudine nor Diego pick them up.

Besides, the gate just creaked. They should probably do something about that, it’s giving her a headache – then again, it does work like a rather effective alarm system, and making it shut up would just be entirely too much work.

And really, soon, they join them: Carlos and the Badun kids, who just as quickly leave with a very rude „try not to die,“ to which Ivy pays no mind.

„Carlito!“ she lets go of Claudine and stumbles over to her baby cousin – the long stems of grass were maliciously weaving in between her legs, yeah?

Carlos catches her before she can fall and she holds onto his shoulders and gives him a greeting kiss on the cheek – she needs to stand on her tiptoes for that, now!

Her baby cousin grew so much since she saw him–

Somewhere back in her mind, she recognises that might have something to do with the access to actual food and the distinct lack of Cruella that there is in Auradon.

Larger part of her doesn’t really care right now.

„How are you?“ she takes a step back, remembering his disdain for casual touch; she steps into Claudine again. Neat.

„Why didn’t you visit us?“

„Yeah,“ Diego says, trying his best not to sound angry, „Why didn’t you at least tell us you are back?“ He then proceeds to hug Carlos and almost lift him off the ground, by which Carlos is entirely unamused. Ivy smiles.

„Hi,“ adds Claudine with an honestly impressive amount of indifference. Ivy gives her a kiss on the cheek.

„What the fuck–“ mutters Carlos and Diego just cackles, that bastard.

„Rude,“ comments Claudine towards both of them, Ivy pressumes.

„You know what’s also rude?“ answers another voice, high and already grating on her nerves. When she looks around, she sees no one else who could be talking. Weird. „Ignoring me! No one has greeted me yet!“

Ivy thinks she has managed to locate whoever spoke, but– it’s some mangy thing, a dog barely big enough to make a fur hat from, not that Ivy would wear a fur hat. Why, that thing was not even fashionable in the sixties!

She shakes her head and looks around to find the annoying Isle rat that made the mistake of trying to prank the de Vils; she sees Diego and Claudine gaping at the dog; Carlos shaking his head at it all.

„Really, Dude?“ he sighs, „I told you not to come with me!“

Wait. 

Wait a fucking minute.

„That thing’s real?!“ Ivy shrieks and staggers backwards, „That dog’s fucking talking?!“

Claudine grips her arm hard enough to bruise and searches for a knife; Ivy steps in between the– the <i>thing</i> and Claudine.

„Not for long,“ says Diego with deceiving calmness, finally breaking from his own surprise, „I’m gonna get the gun.“

He turns around mechanically and walks back towards the Hell Hall; when he glances back, Ivy thinks his eyes are not quite there.

„Wait!“ whisper–yells Carlos after him, „That’s just Dude – I mean, my dog! Don’t– don’t hurt him!“

Oh, hurt it– They’ll merely be putting that thing out of its misery.

Silver gleams through the dull Isle air, a yelp of pain or maybe just surprise: there’s a knife in the ground where the dog’s head was just a moment ago.

And neither Ivy nor Claudine have any other weapon.

Carlos picks the <i>still fucking talking</i> dog up and mutters calming nothings to it; Claudine clutches Ivy’s arm harder, clearly distressed. Yeah, that’s definitely gonna bruise.

Anyway.

„Ivy it’s– it’s talking, it’s talking it must be possessed or–“ Claudine hisses and holds on tighter yet, „Ivy, the Lord has decided. This is the end–“

She descends into what Ivy can only presume is a prayer and still doesn’t let go; Ivy brushes her fingers over hers. Just – please, she’s a de Vil. She’s <i>so</i> not dying by some talking dog.

„No end, love,“ she tells her, „Diego’s getting the gun and then you can get perhaps gloves from this thing, or anything. We’re de Vils, remember?“

„And you’re not killing my dog,“ butts in Carlos, as if anyone asked him. „There’s this neat thing called breaking the generational cycle of expectations,“ he informs her and, again, Ivy doesn’t fucking care.

She turns her back to Carlos.

„Honestly, Ives, you’re doing this on purpose.“

Well, duh.

If he didn’t get too smart in Auradon, that little shit – oh, who is he kidding. He always had too sharp tongue for his own good. Usually, it was more amusing.

„If you’re just gonna sulk the whole time, I’m gonna leave.“

Well, that seems like his problem, if he won’t hear about the boy king, then. 

Ivy tried.

„Say hi to Diego for me.“

She doesn’t think she will – oh, who is she kidding. They’re her cousins. She turns around again, to see Carlos honestly very reluctantly backing away. She almost smiles at that – It goes both ways. They’re family.

„Where do you think you are going?“ interrupts Diego. He is really good at that. 

Claudine finally shuts up and loosens her grip, her fingers pale, bloodless. Ivy rubs them with her own.

„Ives,“ Diego turns at her, „The gun is gone.“

Carlos stops now that he assumes no danger for his poor excuse of a dog and Ivy starts laughing.

Oh, just– „This is too good!“ she cackles, „Harry Hook must have nicked it – don’t you think, Claudine?“ Claudine just hisses. She doesn’t particularly like Harry.

Diego answers with something like „Dear god in the fucking Heaven, why–“ and Claudine hisses again. Ivy doesn’t see the problem – the Hooks with a gun is going to get oh so entertaining– She doesn’t stop laughing.

„Also, I think Auntie heard me,“ adds Diego, „So we better get going.“ He motions at the tree house.

Ivy makes a long face as they start moving and Carlos asks: „Why was Harry Hook here?“

„Curiosity killed the cat,“ she bitches at her darling cousin, „Or that dog, or whatever that is.“

Carlos doesn’t dignify that with a response. Diego unfortunately does: „Oh, you know. They were just trying to poison one another. Or fuck one another. I’m not sure.“

Claudine flings the lighter at his head. Lovely.

„Go get, that, sweetheart,“ Ivy nudges her, because, lighter, you see, „And you go fuck yourself, Diego.“

„Oh, don’t worry about me, Ivana.“

„You know what, Claudine, you can just throw that at him again. Or light him on fire.“

„You can certainly try.“

Claudine walks over to Ivy though, pulling her close, which is good for closely unspecified reasons, and instead eyes the dog, which would probably burn way better than Diego anyway. Carlos clutches the dog closer and hisses something like „One fucking conversation,“ and Ivy has no idea what he means, really.

She turns up her nose as she motions for him to start climbing up; she grabs the rope ladder after him.

„If you fall, I’m not catching you, Ivana,“ Diego informs her. That doesn’t sound like her problem.

She puts both of her feet at the ladder and gasps out in surprise when the thing swings; the partitions dig harshly into her bare feet.

„I’m not falling,“ she growls through her teeth.

„Yeah, sure.“

„…Why would she fall?“ asks Carlos, already mostly up, and didn’t she just tell him curiosity killed the cat? Honestly.

„Oh, I don’t know– Might be the poison. Might be the alcohol. Or Auntie’s sleeping pills,“ Diego says obnoxiously, and all of these are absolutely fine, Ivy will let you know. Just a little something to get her by. She giggles.

„For good– Holly hell, Ivy! Get down right this second, we can talk somewhere else!“ Oh, look, now her baby cousin has the audacity to pretend he looks after her. Well, fuck that.

Ivy laughs more and starts climbing up, ignoring both his protests and the way the rope burns at her hands. She just hopes her nails don’t get damaged from this escapade, that’d be a shame.

„Are you okay?“ he asks when he helps her climb into the treehouse, and why wouldn’t she be? She just laughs more.

„…Yeah, I think I’m gonna take that as a no.“ Always so clever, this baby cousin of hers.

She moves away from the trapdoor so Claudine and Diego could follow after them and asks:

„Me– What about you, Carlos? How’s Auradon treating you?“

He bites his lip, trying to find his words, and meanwhile, Claudine climbs in, very unhappy with the whole ordeal and rubbing at her hands. Ivy pulls her close and settles down, gives her the lighter so she wouldn’t just run her fingers raw.

Diego’s in now, too, finally, and:

„He must be bored in Auradon, Ivy,“ he teases, „For that to happen.“ He motions at the dog.

Speaking of which, Ivy would like to know if all dogs in Auradon talk, or just those that have the misfortune of meeting the de Vil family.

„That’s Dude,“ repeats Carlos, „He’s my friend.“

„And it’s talking,“ points out Ivy, eyeing it warily. Claudine runs her fingers too close to the flame and starts muttering prayers into her skin.

„Yes, because– well because me and Mal– Because Jane–“

Ivy perks up at the unfamiliar name, as does Diego. 

„Jane?“

„Who is Jane?“

A distinct blush creeps into Carlos’ cheeks as he stammers the most unconvincing „No one!“ Ivy has ever heard.

„Come on, Carlito,“ she coos at him, „Who is Jane? Is she someone special?“ She threads her fingers through Claudine’s hair, just because she can.

„Come on, little man!“ adds on Diego, „Tell us! Maybe we can help you!“

„Please?“

Now, Ivy doesn’t beg, just– relationship drama, you see.

„I– fine,“ Carlos allows, still blushing, „Jane is a girl I… <i>fancy</i>,“ he frowns at the unfamiliar Auradonian word, „Fairy Godmother’s daughter.“

Oh, yes, relationship drama and also – Carlos’ first crush! Ivy squeaks and Diego whistles; Claudine flinches at the sound.

„And I… I kinda… sorta…“

„He’s a coward!“ jumps in the <i>rude</i> talking dog. No one asked him. It’s only fair Claudine throws the coincidentally still lit lighter at it.

Ivy and Diego laugh as Carlos scrambles after it and:

„Yes! Yes, we can most certainly help with that.“

„How does I can’t talk to a girl become there is now a hellish abomination of a talking dog?“ asks Claudine, extending her hand to get the lighter back, and, yeah, reasonable question, actually.

„Hey!“ barks out the demon-dog. Everybody ignores it.

„Yeah,“ Ivy prods at her cousin and snatches the lighter, which he doesn’t want to give back, for some reason, „How did that happen? Nearly gave me heart attack.“

Well, not really, but close enough.

„It’s lucky we don’t have the gun and I don’t wanna dirty my knives,“ adds Diego, running his fingertips over one of his blades, which looks fun. The fire is better though.

„I– Diego, no. Dude is mine,“ says Carlos, focusing on the incorrect part of this situation.

„Yeah, too late to kill him now anyway.“

Ivy looks at Claudine and at then at the dog: „Is it though?“ She wonders if Claudine will be more upset by the dog’s continual survival or Carlos by its death. „I suppose it’s much too ugly to be of use anyway.“

„Hey! I’m very pretty!“ protests the fucking animal and Ivy catches Claudine’s hand to stop her from throwing the lighter again.

„Shut up, Dude,“ sighs Carlos, „This is a good thing.“

„It’s not!“

See? 

That thing just <i>wants to</i> die.

And still, how is it talking anyway?

„Anyway,“ Carlos grabs his dog around the muzzle to shut it up, fucking finally, „Mal kinda gave me a truth gummy so I’d finally tell Jane what I feel to her, but this menace ate it first, so. Talking dog.“

Ivy cackles again: „Oh, you <i>do</i> need help!“

Diego is too busy gaping to agree with her, what a shame.

„Pray tell, did you take her at any romantic outings yet?“

„Like what,“ deadpans Carlos. Doesn’t seem like he appreciates her gracious help at all.

„…Midnight graveyard?“ she offers.

„Oh, good idea,“ says Diego, finally getting his head into the conversation, „It’s gonna be cold, you can offer her your jacket.“

„Oh, how romantic!“ Ivy clasps her hands, „Midnight graveyard, only the two of you… and the dead body you’re getting rid off. Just take a jacket you wouldn’t mind getting dirty or not getting back from her.“

(„The body we’re getting rid of?!“ mouths Carlos silently and, well, obviously. Nothing bonds people like getting rid of a body together, Ivy would know. She absentmindedly catches one of Claudine’s hands and brings it to her lips.)

„Oh, yes,“ nods Diego, „Nothing brings two people close like getting rid of a body together.“

See? Diego agrees!

„Torture also works.“

Ivy looks at him, almost asking „You and who?“ before deciding that she can ask that whenever and to focus on baby Carlos instead. She leans her head down on Claudine’s shoulder as she says: „Or arson. Good for the cold, too.“

Ivy might be just a little too jealous of her jackets and coats.

„Of course you’d say that.“

„Fuck off.“

Ivy just shows him the middle finger; she thinks Carlos is just too shocked to intervene. By how great their suggestions are, of course.

„Also, did you try getting rid of her parent yet?“

There is no underlying motive behind this suggestion of Diego’s, Ivy is so sure. She grins wickedly:

„Have you tried stealing anything for her yet? Jewelry? Designer tiaras? The wand – she seemed pretty hung up on that, didn’t she?“

„Ivy! She’s not– she’s not like that!“

Well, too bad.

„If you don’t like that, murder is always an option.“

„Yeah, what girl could resist when such a handsome young man kills someone for her?“

„…Guys. Guys. I don’t know how to tell you. All of these are illegal,“ says Carlos and, honestly, seems to Ivy he’s just being a kill joy. She slides down, laying her head in Claudine’s lap, and takes the lighter from her to play with it herself.

„…Fight for her hand at a grand tournay the king hosts in her honour?“ offers Diego.

„That’s not real,“ sighs Carlos again. Ivy yawns. He just isn’t putting his heart in it, you see.

„Kill a dragon for her?“

„Illegal.“

„You sure you are not stealing the wand?“ 

„Yes?“

„Dunno, then, wait till she’s comatose and kiss her awake with a true love’s kiss.“

„Arrange for an accident so she falls comatose faster,“ advises Ivy. And Diego keeps telling her she’s not practical, honestly.

„Diego! Ivy!“ cries out Carlos, „I’m not doing any of that!“

Well, too bad.

Ivy closes her eyes; Claudine is running her fingers through her hair. It’s nice.

„Sing her a love ballad then,“ says Diego, as his last ditch attempt, presumably.

„That’s…Not illegal. And not that terrible idea.“

Ivy raises her hand for Diego to high five.

„Still not doing that though.“

Diego high fives her anyway.

„Oh, by the way,“ Ivy decides she should probably tell Carlos about the whole hostage situation now, before she falls asleep, „The Hooks have the king. They want ransom.“

Carlos jumps to his feet:

„The Hooks– What?!“ he shouts in surprise and Ivy grimaces at the volume. Her head hurts. „Ivy, couldn’t you have led with that?!“

„Geez, chill a bit,“ she complains, „It’s just a hostage situation.“

She wants to sleep.

„It’s not like Harriet will have him killed while she can get something in exchange for him,“ adds Diego helpfully.

„Yeah, they could just kill him on accident,“ adds Claudine way less helpfully.

„Shush,“ advises her Ivy. Little lethal accident, who cares? Just adds thrill to life.

„Fucking hell, I can’t believe you guys,“ grumbles Carlos. Well, he’s welcome to go check. She’s sure the Hooks will be all to pleased at him showing up with bare hands. „What do they want?“

„Oh, just the usual,“ she yawns, „Alcohol. Like, obscene amounts of money. A functional remote to the Barrier.“

„Wha– nevermind,“ Carlos shakes his head, „How much money?“

And, you see, Ivy isn’t actually sure. You’ll have to forgive her, with everything else that has been going on.

„Claudine?“ she says instead.

Claudine lists a number and Diego whistles; Carlos just curses again and mutters something about their general insanity, as if that was anything new.

„I’m pretty sure Harry made up the number on the spot, though,“ adds Claudine, shaking her head. Her hair fall into Ivy’s face and she sputters. „Sorry.“

„I– I–,“ Carlos, and thankfully the dog too, are at the loss of words. Neat. „I’m gonna go tell Mal, I suppose.“

He sounds about as enthusiastic about it Claudine does when she offers to take her to the Tremaine salon, that is, like he would rather have his teeth pulled. Mood.

„You do that,“ Ivy waves him away. She is tired and he refuses to take any reasonable advice with that Jane girl anyway. Speaking of which:

„Hey, bring Janey a gift while you’re here. Maybe something from the Mims, or the Faciliers. She’s magic, isn’t she?“

„I–“ He just shakes his head at her before crouching down to the trapdoor, „Lovely seeing, you, Ivy, Diego.“

She blows him a lazy kiss.

„Wait, I’m gonna go with you,“ Diego stands up too, and, well, that doesn‘t seem like her problem.

She wonders if she wants to fall asleep here or try to get to her bed first.

[stxramr]

DELUSIONAL

Yandere!Neige LeBlanche x Gender Neutral reader

WARNING:Delusions,kidnapping,drvgging,usage of aphrodisiacs,mentioned Stockholm syndrome

`Oh my dear,I've seen the way you've been looking at me when you think I don't notice.`

Its been a while since you mysteriously disappeared.

The last person you were seen with before your disappearance was the internet sensation,Neige LeBlanche.But everybody believed he was too kind and innocent to do such thing.They thought he was too sweet to even think of harming one of his closest friends at all.

They sure thought wrong.

It was a peaceful long night,you agreed to meet up with him in one of his favorite restaurants.Today was your anniversary,...of being friends for about seven years.

It was...nice.

Everyone around you greeted you with a smile and a friendly expression.The food was great.And Neige was very happy.He seemed a bit too happy but you shook it off,thinking he was probably just joyful of how smooth everything was going.Not a single slip up at all.It was perfect.

When you both left the building and went to the parking lot to head in the car,he fumbled with the car keys.But you two got into the car not even a minute later.

He asked you a few questions while turning on the car.At first,the questions were normal.What did you think?did you like it there?wanna go again sometimes?

But as time went by,his questions were starting to get a bit....questionable.

''Hey,You love me right?.."

You turned your head to look at him,to see he was already looking at you.Flashing him a gentle small smile,you chuckled lowly.If someone were to look directly in your eyes and focus,it would be quite obvious you were starting to get nervous.

"Of course,A-As a friend.."

Cursing yourself out in your head,a small bead of sweat rolled down your neck.Luckily,it was too small and you were too far for it to be noticed by Neige.

He nodded understandingly at your answer.He started driving away from the restaurant and got on the main road.Turning on the air humidifier before doing so,although the wind coming out of the humidifier smelled...different you didn't mind it,,much.

"Did you enjoy your drink?"

Remembering that you two had one or two glasses of red wine,and that you had to use the restroom while the waiter left,finished pouring both glasses.

Your drink did taste a bit more...funky.But it was alcohol,and you didn't drink much alcohol so you wouldn't know the difference.Instead of being suspicious or careful at all,you chugged down the wine as if it was your last drink.

"It was good.''

He seemed rather pleased with the response.

Your vision started to blur,rubbing your eyes and yawning.

Continuing to ask you more questions which got stranger every time you answered him.He was your friend for a really long time,these questions didn't bother you at all!Okay,maybe some did stick out but it wasn't really THAT weird..

"Can you answer this honestly,would you..date me?"

That.That was the question that made your eyes widen,looking at him and blinking your eyes multiple times to assure you weren't dreaming,his eyes were focused on the road ahead,but you could see the clear intensity in his eyes.

"Oh- uhm...You're an amazing and great guy...maybe I would.."

To be honest,you kind of did liked Neige at some points of your life.And you probably would have taken any chance to date him..but now,your feelings for him arn't as strong anymore.Part of you still liked him,part of you doesn't anymore.

He didn't reply though,blankly staring ahead.He didnt seem mad or happy,at all.

You looked out the window,raising an eyebrow when the view completely changed.From the houses at the sides of the roads,to...multiple random tress and other wildlife.

You really don't remember much of what happened then,all you did recall was Neige claiming to take a short cut then getting dizzy and passing out.

Before you even knew it,you were locked inside an isolated room with fancy interior design.

It was completely unfamiliar.

Banging onto the locked door,screaming just to be heard by no one.

It was when he walked into the room as calm as ever.

You asked him,begged him,pleaded with him.Feeling betrayed and confused when he shook his head as no.

"Oh [___]-san,don't you get it?you belong here.Here with me!this is your new home now!"

Snapping at him,you slapped him across the face looking more pissed than ever.

"Are you crazy?!what the hell did you put in my food last night..?!"

He just chuckled oh so innocently.You grabbed his shoulders and shook his furiously.He giggled and replied with something that made your heart drop.

"Silly,I didn't put anything in your food...although,I may have accidentally slipped a few sleeping pills in your drink..ehe.."

With one of your eyes twitching,you shoved him away and backed away.He stood up and slowly went towards you.Backing you up into a wall.

God your head hurted so damn much.

So many events happened in the small span of a few days.

Apparently,your oh so innocent sweet best friend of seven years kidnapped you and is constantly drugging your food and drinks.You can't even eat anything without being anxious if its poisoned or not.

Neige,to be dead honest,wasnt as bad.

It sounds crazy but he was still his loving,caring old self.A bit more affectionate and maybe even deranged but he was more touchy.

You lived with him,although you're never allowed to leave or interact with anyone else,he fed you and spoiled you rotten.

You wanted to slap yourself for thinking of such things.He's your captor!he's holding you captive.You shouldn't be getting Stockholm syndrome so early..

But you couldn't help but let your gaze travel over to him every time you were in the same room.

He loves cooking you food and buying you your favorite snacks,you don't trust the food because its often laced with aphrodisiacs.

Don't even make me list all the times he drugged you into a state of heat and uncontrollable urges.

You hated it.He was crazy.The old Neige you loved and knew was gone.The man currently in front of you was insane.No Neige you know is insane.

You wanted to thrash out at him,jump at him and attack him.But you didn't wanna get on his bad side.

Your thoughts of just ripping him to shreds were interrupted when he looked at you with a smile,giggling to himself.

Asking him what's so funny,he started to laugh.You were confused and a bit concerned.Has he lost all senses of morality and became even more insane?

"Don't act stupid now.."

Furrowing your brows as he wiped away a fake tear.

"what the hell do you mean?"

Voice obviously dead and annoyed,you glarred dagers into his soul.

"Oh my dear,I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice.."

Although if it were a normal,sane person,they would know the looks you give him were full of dread at hatred.To him,it was filled with love and admiration.

You were more than sure that he was delusional now.

First,he kidnaps you and expects you to love him back immediately when he abducted you of your home.

Second,He drugs you and gaslights you,thinking you'd still 'love and want' him no matter what happens and what he does.

And now this?is he living life with some kind of lovey dovey filter?

Whatever insane delusions he has in his head,he needs to stop.

You've told him how much you hated him.How much you despised him.How much he disgusted you and that you want him dead.

But it was like he goes completely deaf whenever you even try to tell him you hate him.

He's so delusional to the point he just molds and shifts reality into a version he prefers and would believe that version more than reality itself.

He's convinced you would just stop faking your hatred towards him,give in and finally show your love for him if he tried hard enough.And you can't convince him otherwise.

Because,you are his beloved [princess/prince] that will submit to him,right?

You NEED a knight in shining armour,and that can always be him.

At this point,you can say no to him.

Because like I said,he believes in his little delusions more than reality.He'll believe you didn't say anything he doesn't like.Just play along for your sake and safety.Don't want your knight in shining armour to show his true colors,right?

[altschmerzes]

if anyone has cats they would like to send me pics of i would appreciate that a lot i am having a very very fucking weird one right now and don’t really know what to do with myself.

the short version is: my dad died today. the long version is..... probably an absolutely ridiculous overshare but. like i said. don’t know what to do with myself so i’m just. idk im talking out loud i guess, putting this Somewhere. it’s. heavy, sorry.

so the post i made recently celebrating seven years going no-contact with my abusive father who kind of ruined my life in a lot of really serious ways i am likely never really going to completely recover from? yeah. he had a stroke earlier this year that sounded like it was pretty serious and that was a lot to process and then i just got the call from my mom that he had a heart attack while fishing with a friend this afternoon and died. apparently it was fast, which is good. he was fifty-five and i guess he’d just hit two years sober.

my mom sounded really upset on the phone, and i guess she’d only found out less than ten minutes before she called me, she just told my sister, who lives with her, and my sister went off to take a shower (read: have a breakdown in the shower), and then called me immediately and said “your dad died” as soon as i answered with a hey, what’s up. they’d been divorced for twenty years and he was a fucking bastard but i guess your ex-husband and your kids’ dad who you’ve recently been reconnecting with and spending time with again dies and you’re probably gonna have some strong feelings about it. my sister is in pieces, they’d reconnected and were spending a lot more time together. in their text they said ‘i barely got any time with him and i’m fucking heartbroken’.

and because he has no other living relatives my 23 year old sister who is uh, in a fragile state on the best of days, is gonna have to deal with all of the paperwork and shit that happens when someone dies. and my sister and i’s relationship is like.... it’s complicated, to put it politely, they are very hard for me to be around for a lot of reasons, but i wouldn’t wish that on them and i wish i was able to take on that stuff if only because i’m almost through law school and i’m the least emotionally invested in the man and it just would be easier for everyone if i did the paperwork and whatever.

and then there’s my brother, because i have a brother, who i barely talk about because it hurts to think about him. he’s nine years older than me and he’s my half-brother by my dad and after my dad went to prison on drug charges i didn’t see him for thirteen years. and then a long time after a brief visit too. he’s got two kids now, and for a while there we were in sporadic contact, but i haven’t seen or heard from him since i was maybe nineteen. and my mom was just kind of rambling on the phone about how she had to find my brother’s mother’s contact information because someone had to tell him and because i’m all the way out here and i can’t DO anything else i told her i’d find her and tell her what happened and get everyone’s contact information for whatever’s coming next so. now i’ve texted my brother, who is a living wound in my life, for the first time in like six years. he hasn’t answered yet and according to his mother he’s ‘devastated.’ so.

i’m not. i’m not devastated. i don’t know what i feel honestly. once i tracked her down on facebook and dealt with all of that i just sort of sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall for a long time. listened to the mountain goats song ‘pale green things’ and drifted in a weird numb void. i’m not.... sad. not about him anyway. i don’t know what i am. i have a very difficult time articulating my feelings on a good day, fuck i mean i have a hard time identifying my feelings on a good day. some combination of autism and cptsd and the sense that if i have feelings someone is going to die, maybe me, maybe someone else. if i have feelings, i get someone killed, is the thought process, which is a long story but. is extremely hard to work around, especially when i don’t see the point because taking active steps to make my feelings known and make them something someone else has to deal with is like. what’s the point. why do that.

so i don’t know what i feel. i feel strange and distant and not-sad and kind of angry at my sister and brother for some fucking reason and guilty and resentful and relieved. there’s some relief in there i think, because it’s like. i don’t know. i had the thought earlier, ‘oh thank gd’ which is. it sounds heinous but i now i’ll never have to choose between attending my sister’s wedding and not having to see him there, if i go back to my hometown and feel like there’s a monster stalking me from the shadows i can just tell myself the fucking monster’s fucking dead and he can’t ever hurt me again. nobody in my family is ever going to be able to pressure me to just talk to him already, just move on and let it go. reconcile, forgive, get past it.

(i don’t know how much any of them know. i have never discussed this with my parents or my sister and i never plan to. we’ve talked about some things in vague euphemisms and talked around it even more. when he got out of prison and then when he was done stalking us which he did for a while and got some help i guess and was doing a bit better my sister wanted to reconnect with him and i didn’t. i had panic attacks, i was terrified, i didn’t want anything to do with him and i didn’t want my sister anywhere near him and i remember all my mom had to say to me about that was ‘if it makes you feel any better, i could take him.’ i don’t know what to... i just don’t know.)

i dunno. i don’t know. when i visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house (my grandmother’s house, when i say ‘parents’ i mean her and my mom generally) i slept with a knife on my bedside table and a plan of how to get out the window because i’d heard that he’d started dropping by sometimes and i was too scared to sleep otherwise. he terrorized me. i have very few memories from before he went to prison and most of them are of being terrified for my life. of being chased through the house, staying above the garage because for some reason we couldn’t be in the house that night. sexual abuse that i can still barely handle thinking about. he haunts my nightmares regularly, even though i haven’t seen or spoken to him in seven years, didn’t see or talk to him very often before that. i have panic attacks in my sleep dreaming about him, enough that i have to be medicated for it.

he’s a person who was deeply troubled and sick and suffered unimaginably in his life and it’s just.... i know all of that and i just. i don’t know. i hope he’s at peace i guess. i know he never was when he was alive. i know i’m not at peace most of the time, largely because of the shit he did to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. my dad’s dead.

[ace-robot-has-matcha]

Things I like and didn’t like about hazbin hotel

I watched it last night with my friends. My basic thoughts are that it’s pretty good.

!!THIS IS ALL 100% MY SUBJECTIVE OPINION ON ASPECTS OF THIS SHOW!!

Stuff I liked:

Most of the songs were pretty good, and of course the singing as well. The visuals for the songs are also very cool a lot of the time as well. Visual standouts included the vox song and the husk song

I’m still sad about the loss of the original cast, but I will admit that the new cast is also good. RIP Michael though. I still miss him in this show but he’s In everything now so whatever.

Vaggie was cool. She really felt expanded from the pilot version, even though I kinnnda miss her old design. The other new designs I got used to, but hers still strikes me as weird.

Niffty was epic. Honestly just like me fr.

This show made me come around to Alastor. Liked him in the pilot, but he was never my favorite (probably overexposure). But he ended up being a very goofy character, which I liked. The mystery element of what he was doing for seven years is also interesting.

I actually ended up liking the Vees. I didn't expect to like them lol. Vox is funny and has a cool voice, Val is cartoonishly evil (and scary at times so that's neat), and I never cared about Velvette before, but she turned out to be my favorite of the three.

One thing I really like about vivziepop shows is that she puts all those hidden text stuff in that you can actually pause to read. She does this in helluva boss, and she keeps up the tradition here. I like when shows do that.

So for years I've been calling him Anthony as a joke to lovingly bully him, and then it ended up being shown in canon lol. For some reason this made me lose my shit. Oh and also the angel dust stuff was really good too yeah yeah

My absolute favorite part was unironically Sir Pentious. This is mostly due to the surprise that he actually ended up in the main cast. I had no idea that was going to happen. I thought he'd be a sort of villain-of-the-week guy who sort of joins the party, but nope this goofy idiot hangs out at the hotel for the rest of the show lol. That was awesome. I never knew how much of his character I needed until now.

I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to television. I'm willing to excuse a lot of things, which is probably why I'm one of the like ten people who still thinks Helluva Boss S2 is okay. Therefore, there were only a few problems with these episodes that I actually didn't like enough to put here.

I really really didn't like Adam. His voice is good, his song is good but that's pretty much it. I don't even really like his design. He was just so irritating and unfunny. I know he was supposed to be annoying and unlikeable, but usually I still find enjoyment in those characters, and I just couldn't here. Case in point: Mammon is basically the same character but actually funny.

This is the only nitpick that really bothered me. Zestial is a cool character. BUT HOLY SHIT THEY COMPLETELY FUCKED UP HIS DIALECT. It happens a lot and it's so irritating because it does not take very long to look up the difference between thee, thou and thy. They didn't even change it to make it rhyme, it's just legitimately fucked up. This annoyed me way too much admittedly but it made me cringe in like every scene he was in, even though I liked everything else about him.

Yeah episode one isn't great. It's not very focused. This is kind of par for the course for vivzie shows though.

Spoilers I guess? I did not like the reveal of who killed the angel. It turned out to be some lady we just met five minutes ago?? It felt very underwhelming and made me angry. However, this one I'm willing to make my peace with because it's episode three, there will probably be a better payoff later. Hopium.

Write me an essay in the comments about why I'm wrong about everything or whatever. I'll read it and maybe adopt it into my perspective. There's probably other things I wanted to talk about that I forgot, but I don't care. Anyway I like this show give it like a 7.6 out of 10.