#why am i so insecure

[anadorablekiwi]

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[babybubastis]

Seeing Wakanda Forever tonight and I get the feeling that I’m going to be foaming at the mouth with ideas for Shuri x Namor fics… but I also still have Winterprincess and Shuri x Bucky x Steve fics to update… like, does anyone even want to read those anymore? I love them, but I also don’t want to be annoying if no one cares 🤦🏽‍♀️

[youngcollectedtired]

Something that’s definitely talked about a lot is being bigger sized. But growing up I didn’t see a lot of dark skinned women on media so unfortunately I hated being black. And I also happen to live in a southern area where everyone’s type is skinny and white. So I didn’t get any attention which technically I don’t need to know I’m good enough or pretty because of boys attention. But sometimes it’s nice right?

And then when I was 11 I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Taking steroids and infusion medication which made me gain more weight. So there’s just something about being curvy, black, and chronically ill that as I get older now at 20 I wonder if I’ll ever get over that. I love fashion, buying clothes and actually wearing things that fit me. And seeing all these beautiful girls and they’re amazing outfits on social media really makes me happy. But every now and then I’m reminded by how lonely I am. Because even just at 20 it seems everyone around me is dating and or married. It has had some kind of relationship or situationship.

So I’m just saying all of that to say that I’m better than I was. I’m comfortable in my skin and I love my style. But some days I’m reminded of how lonely I am. Even at work my coworkers talk so happily about they’re husbands and boyfriends and how easy it is to be happy. And it feels like a slap to the face every time.

How badly I want someone. Someone to make me smile and laugh. Someone I can be unashamed with. Someone who brings me any flower even wild flowers because they know I just love flowers. Someone I can make lunch for and surprise on my days off. Someone who will surprise me with the best place to watch the stars because they know every time I get home late enough I take a moment to look at the night sky. Someone that will hold me when we argue to remind me that he doesn’t hate me. That it’s okay because I know it’ll never be perfect.

I just really feel like I got the bitter end of the deal sometimes. And now I have to start infusions again and who’s going to want to spend the rest of there life with a constantly sick girl. If they didn’t try to get close to me before they definitely won’t now.

Anyone relate?

[prettybbychim]

logically i know someone could be attracted to me despite being chubby, anxious, forgetful, and riddled with self-inflicted scabs and scarring because there are others out there with those same qualities and they have partners, they are loved

logically i know someone could look past those things in me because i don’t disregard others with those same qualities, i hardly bat an eye at them

but every time i look in the mirror, i just think…how

how can someone ever love me when i’m this way

[fuckin-depression]

I hate going out.

Seeing people everywhere,

And trying not to look awkward,

Pretend like having a good time,

Act like not being insecure.

So damn hard

[endericarus]

scrolling on Pinterest and seeing shit like, “5 things girls who smell good don’t do” and fighting the feminist in me who says, “ugh that’s so stupid and literally designed to lower a girls self esteem so they’ll click” with the insecure little girl in me who says, “but maybe, I do this one thing and someone will finally like me. Maybe, after all this time, maybe I can make someone like me”

[sick-sweet-angel]

haha

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

I'm still waiting for a time where one of my friends call me annoying. Hasn't happened yet, but my brain is telling me that everyone thinks it.

[imprintedintent]

How am I supposed to believe in God when I can barely believe in myself ?

- Samantha Blei

[lanez06]

i feel so disgusted with myself rn. i went swimming with some friends and they pointed out that my butt looked saggy. i have cellulite on it from weight gain in the past, but i struggle with body issues very bad. An i’m supposed to go swimming with the same friend an are boyfriends tomorrow, and i just barely want to go but my boyfriends excited to go and i don’t want to be selfish.

[whatimfelling]

Why does everyone have an opinion about other people's bodies instead of minding their own business?!

FUCK, JUST STOP DAMIT!

And then they still ask:

"Oh, why don't you do some sport? Swimming would be great for you, don't you think?

"No I don't."

"Why?"

"I just don't like it"

My mind: "SHUT UP FUCKING BITCH! I'M INSECURE AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT SHIT! IT'S MY BODY! MY BUSINESS! MIND UR OWN"

[wermoewe]

Every social media I had so far I only post own posts when I'm at least tipsy.

When I'm sober I don't consider anything I think relevant enough to be shared

[shesfuckinginsecures-blog]

"Yes I am sick of myself. I am sick of the way I look. I am sick of the way I feel. I am sick of the way I act. I am sick of not knowing who I am. I want to be comfortable in my skin. But I don't think I ever will be comfortable with myself. I am scared that I might never myself and I am so sick and tired of it all."

[row444]

Sometimes I look like a virgin westernized angel and the rest I just look like an ugly biblically accurate angel

[thoughtsscale17]

A veces no entiendo lo que siento, lo que hago y lo que pienso. Sé que te quiero, sé que me quieres, sé que ambos queremos estar juntos lo más que podamos. Pero hay veces en las que inconsciente o subconscientemente intento sabotearnos, creando celos infundados, estando enfadada por x problemas, alegando a mis inseguridades y demás... Y creo, que todo eso es para que te canses de mi y poder demostrarme a mí misma, que tal como pensaba, no valgo lo suficiente, no valgo la pena ni los esfuerzos. Así que, solo me queda decir, perdón por ser así.

[co8wb0yz5]

I wish that i can just run away from it all but i can't i try to stay positive but that has become a struggle also everyday is harder