#with like 2 eyeballs on top

[ilaiyayaya]

🤔i don't know what to do now.

I was gonna look into getting HRT, and I'm probably still gonna do that pretty soon, but then my car died and I had to spend nearly 4k on a new one, which luckily I saved enough to where I'm still fine, but it did completely interrupt my streak of productivity towards doing trans stuff. On top of that, having to be around both my father and one of my uncles almost every day for the last 2 weeks to deal with said car has caused a massive drop in mental health and I've especially been in kill mode for the last 48 hours, which makes it kinda hard to get anything else done.

Overall tho, getting a car now is probably a net positive, I'm not gonna have to worry about panicking to get a car as quickly as possible after I moved out because if my old one had died after I left, but before I was able to get a new one, I would've probably been really fucked. Not great timing to happen at this exact moment though.

And on the topic of moving out, I don't really have any reason to not just move to an entirely different state now. I'm not entirely sure where to move, wherever it is, realistically it'll probably be relatively short-term, but every reason I had before to stay in my current area is kinda gone, I have a car now and thus won't have to worry as much about dying on the road while driving 500,000,000,000 kilometers to another state, I pretty much exclusively talk to all of my friends online now, even the ones that I do live near, so that won't really change much, I kinda hate my job now and have been heavily considering quitting since like, November so like, don't really care to stay here just for that. The only real reason I have to stay here is that living expenses are fairly cheap, but this is far from the only area in the country where that's the case, and I know there are other places that are even cheaper. My reasons for needing to leave keep increasing too, the core general reason is just, my family live here, and I want most of my family dead (and some of them want me dead too!) but more specifically, my mother almost certainly knows I'm still living here by this point, I learned about 6 months ago that she had moved back here after being in another state for the last 5 years, and while I'm not in contact with her at all, it's not unlikely that she's heard from someone else that I'm here, possibly even where I work or any other information, and her knowing literally anything about my current location pretty much puts a timer on my life because she really does not want me to be alive. Tension with the rest of my family has also gotten significantly worse in the last few months (which is largely my fault but like, what am I supposed to do, not tell my uncle to kill himself???), which really I don't care much about, most of them I normally see 5 times per year max, and even the few I do see more often than that have extremely little impact on my life, but the bigger concern is that a couple of them have definitely, at least to some degree, caught onto me being trans. Or maybe they just think I'm gay but like either way it's a potential problem for me, my family is extremely bigoted (the uncle I told to kill himself literally prompted me to say that by going on a massive rant about electric cars being bad because, something about them all being made by f*gs??? idk being in the same room as that man is like being in the same room as a stereotypical 4chan user, but like, the worst kind) (that uncle btw is not one of the relatives that have probably caught onto me being trans, he is so incredibly dense that I could probably directly tell him I'm trans myself and he probably just like, wouldn't even process it and then somehow use it as an opportunity to tell me to remove all of my money from the banks because the blog he read says joe biden is gonna pass a bill tomorrow that makes banks disappear). Biggest reason why I think some of them know is because a couple of them (one in particular, a different uncle than the one i told to kill himself) have really started to enjoy bringing up conversation topics related to trans and gay people, and my answer is always just complete neutrality, but in a way where it is so extremely obvious that I am just trying to say whatever gets them to shut the fuck up. If any of them, or especially my father who I currently live with, had 100% concrete proof that I'm trans, it would become completely insufferable, I would actually end up murdering one of them within a week I am certain of it, even just being in the same area and them knowing where I live, they would make my life hell immediately, and I'd really rather just not deal with that, and it's really hard to fully cut contact with those people if I'm living in the same town as them, even if I try to.

Another one of the other reasons I had for just getting an apartment where I currently live was that I had a few options for potential roommates, which would make paying rent a lot easier, but that's not the case anymore, some of those options went away once I came out as trans, some I am absolutely not comfortable with living with anymore, a few have since found other roommates or just moved out on their own, and the rest are all just other miscellaneous reasons. I don't really have any viable options for roommates in other states either, but since I don't have any here either, it doesn't really make much of a difference. I technically do know people elsewhere that would probably be willing to live with me, the problem is they're all either in other countries, which I'd be fine with eventually, but not right now, or they're in texas or florida, so, so many in texas and florida, texas especially, why is everyone i know in texas i am not moving to texas especially when most of the people i know that already live there hate it. so yea I'm pretty much on my own unless I want to move to the UK or Texas and I'm not doing that, luckily I expected and prepared for this so I should be fine financially for at least 1 year even on my own, even if it's not ideal. Financially I'm probably fine moving somewhere else, the main concern is everything else cuz like, I'm dumb. and stupid. and incompetent. and i fuck everything up and am bad at everything. Me being stupid and incompetent still applies to living the same state i currently do but like, 🤔idk i just feel like i'd be more likely to have actual consequences for being a massive fuckup somewhere that isn't here. But like yea I'm an idiot.

I don't even know where I would move, for the last few months I was looking into apartments with the intent of temporarily living here for like 6 more months, but again, new car, no more reasons to stay, I think it'd kinda just be a waste of 6 months at this point. But if I commit to moving to a different state I'll have to completely restart the process of searching for an apartment, except it'll be even harder because I don't even know where to look for an apartment at, like I don't know where I want to go I just know I can't be here for much longer. Plus moving states probably requires a bunch of paperwork stuff, like, I probably need a new license for that state and like uhhh new bank account because the current bank i use only has locations in this state and i don't know how hard all of that stuff is to do, like I said I'm a stupid idiot that's incompetent and dumb and should die. Guess I'll die then cause as I've been writing this I'm becoming more and more committed to the idea of just saying fuck it and leaving, I have no clue how much longer it'll take to find a place and get everything sorted out in order to move states but like, if I stay in this town for another 6 months or more like my original plan I am absolutely going to end up killing myself, and that would not be fun so I'd rather not do that.

Idk whether it'd be better to just start hrt after finding another place, or go back to trying to get it now, because on one hand finding somewhere in another state could potentially take a lot longer than it would've taken to find a place in this town and each month that goes by without me being on estrogen is another month closer to the guillotine, but also if I try starting hrt immediately after I move out it'd just be adding to the pile of things to be stressed about because I'd be going through the whole process of trying to get it while also trying to figure out everything else. I was trying to list reasons why both starting hrt now, and starting hrt later have downsides, but I think I literally just gave reasons for why starting hrt later would be bad, but like trust me there are reasons why looking into getting it now would also be hard and potentially bad, it's fine it's fine I have the excuse of being kinda tired and extra mentally ill after just getting out of one of the worst meltdowns I've ever had over the last 24 hours so like it's fine if everything I say is completely incomprehensible verbal slop I get the free pass to be unhinged right now if you yell at me for being insane right now you're being mean and unfair and i'll cry. Mods decipher what anything said in this entire multi-paragraph rant means even I, the writer, the author, the director, the lead actor, do not understand what literally any of it means. I should probably sleep but mania hittin too hard to do so so instead time to listen to the Colress battle theme on loop and walk in circles (a normal tuesday (chewsday innit)).

I am so confused

[toji-sweetheart]

18+ only content - mdni

tags: pregnant! fem reader + pregnancy sex + car sex + repost

Summer months always brought out one of Toji's favorite things.

Sundresses.

He's pretty sure that's how you ended up pregnant.

You were settled in bed going through your boxes of clothes trying to figure out what you wanted and what to give away when Toji shuffled in ready to lay on the mattress until he caught sight of the dress.

It was one he'd seen before.

How amazing it looked on you, the way your breasts all but spilled over the top, and if you had to bend over? His eyes were glued to your ass so were his hands that grabbed a palmful of cheeks.

You always enjoyed the attention and how your husband still flirted with you like he was chasing you for the first time. It was a wonder you didn't get pregnant on the first date you both had.

Now years later you were attempting to slip on that same dress with a swollen belly that only added to the layer of attraction Toji felt for you and it didn't matter how you felt about it either, to him you were the sexiest and most beautiful woman out there.

While he wasn't a poet, he still had a way of making you feel sexy even when you felt like a cow, leaking breasts, a stomach round and protruding making the sundress a lot shorter than what it was.

"Ugh! Are you kidding me!?" You growled in frustration trying your best to yank the fabric of your ass over and over as you stood in front of the mirror getting ready for a day out with Toji to do some shopping for your daughter, some more clothes and diapers.

You had no idea that your husband had come back home earlier from a shift he picked up, any of them he could get he did to help pay for the expenses especially your cravings that seem to come at 2 am.

When you had stomped down the steps still in the sundress that barely covered your ass to look for your shoes, Toji followed you like a dog after a bone, his hands coming down to swat at your ass softly.

"Damn. You goin' out like that? I'll have to pluck eyeballs out." He mumbled, his eyes glued to the way the fabric swished and when you tried to bend over only for him to see your pussylips he lost it.

You rolled your eyes and huffed attempting to reach for your shoes before Toji swiped them up and pointed to the couch. "I have nothing that fits anymore! I'm a fat cow!" You whined and pouted sitting down as he helped you and crouched down to put your shoes on for you.

"You're growin' a human being in you, you're not fat, you're knocked up with my baby giving her life. Stop sayin' that shit." His words were a little crass but they made you smile as he looked at you warmly.

His look never failed to give you butterflies, nor did his touch.

However, after the seven months you've been pregnant he's been able to pick up on your moods and right now wasn't the best time to get his dick wet, all he had to do was wait for the right time.

Ever since you found out you were having his baby your sense of smell has been heightened making everything much more sensitive so when Toji sprayed your favorite cologne on him before leaving you were all over him nuzzling your face into his shirt and back.

"What do you think about this? She'll be here in the cold-" Toji was interrupted when you slid your hands under his shirt right in the middle of the clothing aisle not caring if anyone saw.

You weren't blind.

Your husband is a very good-looking man so it was natural that women would stare and ogle him, nudging their friends to see the tall and dark and handsome man with his very pregnant wife.

Green eyes looked at you with amusement and he knew that your pussy was throbbing, swollen, and sensitive as all your blood rushed to between your legs. "Toji." You tugged on his shirt with a pout.

That's all it took for you to end up cowgirl style sitting on his lap with his cock buried deep inside you while you both sat in the backseat of the car that he barely had time to move in the way back of the parking lot making sure you wouldn't get caught having sex in the middle of the day, no one could see you both.

"So needy for dick and you wonder how you ended up pregnant." He teased burying his face between your tits as he helped you ride him, the exertion didn't take much with all the pressure on your internal organs and your lungs didn't feel like they fully inflate, and with your daughter using your bladder as a trampoline you tired easily.

Your fingers that stayed buried in his hair tugged on the dark locks when he hit a certain spot that had you squealing his name while clawing at his shoulders, your movements went from bouncing to grinding your clit on his pelvic bone moaning and whimpering.

Toji knew that he wanted to keep you nice and pregnant if this was how you acted.

[deadsetobsessions]

Summonings

Ever since Danny Phantom became the Ghost King, he’s had to deal with an endless amount of crap. An eternity of it, actually, and it was constantly causing him unending amount of existential crises and stress.

First, there was the paperwork. Pariah Dark, the incompetent asshole, had left him decades worth of bureaucracy to painfully sift through. He ended up hiring some ghosts with paperwork obsessions to sort some of that out. Who knew ruling the infinite realms would require this much paperwork? He’s lucky each section of the underworld had their own systems to report to their own rulers who, in turn, report to him.

Secondly, there were the Observers. And other ghosts, like his own rogues, but they were the main issues. Eyeball menaces. They protested his appointment, something he actually agreed with. Putting a fifteen year old on the throne is rarely a smart decision. But the Infinite Realm values strength, the only type of currency that matters in the land of the gods and the dead. Danny? Phantom? He’s got strength in spades. With only a few months of being a ghost, Danny had managed to defeat Pariah Dark, who had cowered gods and struck fear into the hearts of ghost heroes.

But Danny hasn’t quite realized the significance of that yet, too focused on the realization that he was about to be in charge of the infinite realms. The Observants, since his reluctant and extremely limited coronation, has been up his ass about doing things the “proper way.”

Danny’s main problem lies with the ridiculous amount of paperwork though. It’s fine. Tedious. But fine.

But if he gets one more fifteen page essay style complaint form about some guy named Constantine, Danny might seriously reconsider donning Dan’s ruthlessness and offing the guy himself. Perhaps grab the man by his shoulders and shake him like a rag doll and ask who the fuck told him it was a good idea to sell his soul out like that? Danny eventually just sent out Skulker to hunt down the contracts and trade minor services for them. He owns most of the soul now, and perhaps he’ll hunt this guy down and force him to do paperwork.

Regardless, paperwork was just often tedious. He’s worked out a system for himself. The halfa, true to his teenage form, had better things to be doing. His homework, for one. Hanging out with his friends and logging in hours for Doomed 2 would be another. But no, he’s here, twirling a pen as he glared down at a stack of forms for a zone expansion. What the fuck does Zeus want to expand his zone for? The current share space of the sky domain is literally a perfect balance with respect towards the other gods. For the love of- Danny slams down a red ‘REJECTED’ stamp on top of the stack. His hair flickers wildly in annoyance, the iced over Crown floating above his head emitting concerning levels of frost. To anyone else but himself, of course.

He then feels a soft tug on his core.

Right. The third most annoying thing about becoming King: the fucking summoning. Danny taps his pen against his lips, clicking it against his fangs, as he considers the summoning circle that calls him. Huh. Desperation. Mildly bloody. Fear. Resignation- ah, fuck it, it’s not like he’s too enthusiastic about staying to do work with the Observers poking around. He takes the summoning, allowing his regalia to overtake his normal hazmat-clad form, and approves the summoning.

Oh hey, Danny thinks he recognizes that ugly ass trenchcoat.

—-

John Constantine has had more than enough practice summoning things that would give people nightmares. But there are things he normally refuses to touch, refuses to even entertain the idea of trying. As usual, desperation made John its bitch and the Justice League’s battered and bruised faces tugged on his shriveled heart.

He’s going to summon something from the Infinite Realms. Oh, but he wasn’t just summoning any old ghost. No, he thought, I’m just going to summon the one being that’s guaranteed to be able to crush our universe without breaking a sweat. Bollocks.

“Is it ready?”

“Untwist your pants, spooky,” John snaps, wishing he had a crate of whiskey he could down. “We’re trying to summon the Ghost King, not your average demon.”

“What do we know about him?” Batman’s gravelly voice demanded.

“Powerful enough to take us all out without even breaking a sweat. Defeated the bloody tyrant who ruled over the Realms last I heard.”

“That’s it?”

“You could ask Deadman, but I heard he’s on the outs with the Infinite Realms on the fact that he’s made of pure magic, not ectoplasm.”

“There’s no guarantee the king will work with us.” Zatanna says, pressing her fingertips together tiredly. She had been at the forefront of the battle and had paid the price for it. “But he’s supposedly more benevolent than his predecessor… and we’re out of options.”

“Hm.”

“Just make sure to shut up and let me do the talking.”

“Hn.”

John rolls his eyes and takes a fortifying breath, something that does not go unnoticed by the League. They all tense up, preparing themselves for a battle. Another one, seeing as they all got their ass kicked by a ghost only ten hours ago. The League is spread thin, running interference to distract the ghost in question and evacuating civilians.

John Constantine started chanting, the glow of his magic lighting up the circle as he spills his blood into the circle.

He waits, heart in his throat, for the summoning to work.

“Is it supposed to take-” Red Robin asks, only to cut himself off as the circle flares once more. Power pulsates outwards from the circle. Frost crackles on the frost resistant floors, spreading outwards as a green portal rips open the fabric of time and space. Long, spindly imitations of a hand grabs the edges of space and pulls, heaving the rest of his celestial body out of the tear in reality. John does not look away. He can not look away, not from the eerie green pallor of the King, not from his torrential white wisps of hair, not from the black-hole like material of his outfit, not from the nebulas and beginnings and endings tailored onto the King’s cape. John could not look away from the ice crown that floated like a bastion of power above the king’s head.

His mouth is dry. What price will he have to pay to save the world? What price will this being demand of him, of the Justice League, to save the world?

John desperately needs that drink.

—-

Oh! He’s in his home dimension! His core purrs at coming home, at the close proximity to his first haunt.

He was expecting cultists, or even the Winchesters again, but this is nice.

The Justice League- summoning him. Sam and Tucker are going to flip when they hear about this.

They’ve been staring at him in silence for a bit now. It was getting awkward.

“Why have you summoned me?” He asks, softening his tone. By their winces, he didn’t get it as well as he thought. Danny grimaces. At the first sign of discomfort though, the man in the trenchcoat- is that fucking Constantine?!- launches into a nerve filled tirade.

“Your, uh, Majesty.” He starts. “One of… One of your subjects is wreaking havoc on the world. We would be extremely grateful if… if you could reign him in?”

Danny’s face sours, only to quickly clear his expression as he realized how much even a small hint of displeasure causes the jumpiness in Constantine and the others.

“To do that, I will have to make a contract with you, seeing as you’ve summoned me.” Danny drawls, letting his overly long digits wave at the summoning circle in question. He could break it, of course, but Danny’s bored and trying to draw this out. He’s not saying he’d take a batch of cookies as payment but that’s exactly what he’s saying.

“The price… you could always have my soul?”

Danny pauses. “Your… soul?”

Oh, he did not say what he just said.

“Yes. My soul.”

Oh, he did.

Fuck it. Danny’s flashbacks of suffering through the reports pushes green into his irises and urgency to his action.

He breaks out of the circle, hands lunging and gripping Constantine’s jaw tightly. Danny ignores the shouts of alarm as he allows the thrown weapons to pass through him.

John Constantine is panicking now, struggling in the air as Danny lifts him an inch off the floor in agitation.

Good.

“Your soul, little wizard? The one you’ve split eight ways till the thirtieth of February? The one that caused,” he tightens his grip, no doubt bruising the man. “An insane amount of paperwork that I’ve had to suffer through. Your soul, John Constantine?”

Danny hisses his name. The man makes a warbling noise that Danny takes as acknowledgement. Danny bats away the weak spell Zatanna sends at him with a hand.

“You’ll find that I am in the possession of most of your soul contracts. To simply put,” he grins, teeth made of dying stars on display. “I own your soul. My soul, now.”

He drops the wizard who collapses onto his knees to stare up at him in horror, eyes flicking between the circle that was meant to contain him and Danny, who is very much not contained. He crouches down- something necessary but disjointed as he’s not used to this taller form- and speaks to Constantine in a slow, dead serious, drawl.

“If you ever sell your soul again, you and I are going to have issues. Is that clear, John Constantine?”

“Uh- yeah, yes, yes, your majesty.”

Patting his cheek condescendingly, Danny gets up and sighs, stress relieved. He’s starting to feel bad, though, so he allows his form to ripple back to his normal teenage Phantom self.

“Well, it’s not like anyone will buy it, since they know they’ll have to go against me.” He chirps, flipping 180 from his terror inducing eldritch voice. “So, what’ll you pay me to get rid of whatever ghost you’ve got?”

“…. Nothing?”

Red Robin holds out a bag, eyebags betraying his exhaustion. “I’ve got fifty dollars and a bag of cookies.”

Phantom beams at him. “Throw in a couple of autographs and you’ve got a deal.”

“That’s- yeah, okay.” Red Robin says, inching forward cautiously to hand him the bag.

“Great. I’ll be back for them later. You can call me Phantom. ‘Your Majesty’ gets annoying after a while.”

“Thank- thank you for your mercy, Your- Phantom.” Wonder Woman says.

“Sure. Make sure this idiot doesn’t make any more deals with demons while I’m out, yeah?”

With that, Danny Phantom grabs the bag of cookies and fifty dollars and flies through the wall to do his job.

John slams his head onto the space station floor.

“Fuck.”

—-

Danny: lol I’ll do it for the shits and giggles

Constantine and the League: he’s terrifying, a bastion of pure power and authority

Red Robin, Young “we commit war crimes bc it gets shit done” Justice leader and fellow gremlin: he’d probably do it for cookies. I would.

[satosugusandwich]

His Angel and His Brat

Part 1!!! Part 2

Hard!Dom!Geto x Brat!Gojo x obedient!afab!reader

(I also try to write my fics to be racially ambiguous! No mention of skin tone or hair type!)

Summary: Gojo is a mega-brat to y/n and Suguru and likes to push buttons cuz he can so Suguru decides to overstimulate Gojo until he thinks he’s broken. (Key word: thinks.) To add to Gojo’s humiliation, he ensures that the reader is getting princess treatment while watching Gojo suffer endlessly. But, of course, things don’t always go as planned with Satoru Gojo.

CW and whatnots: Overstimulation, vibrators, cuffs, finger sucking, condescending!geto, usage of the word “cock”, gojo’s boundless stamina and cocky attitude, anal play, cum licking (off the floor and gojos pp) praise, cocksucking, angel ass reader that ends up in trouble cuz gojo can’t shut his mouth, geto is actually so mean to gojo but so soft cuz he’s actually a teddy bear dw. Use of “brat, princess, angel.” There will be aftercare in future parts cuz imagine leaving pathetic satoru a cum drenched mess. Poor baby. :(((

There will be additional tags in future parts. This is how I cope with ch 236.

Suguru runs his thumb along your bottom lip, licking his own lips while you whimper. Your pretty eyes fixated on his blushing face and half-lidded eyes. He looks at you with so much lust and is so gentle with you, just so in love with how much you please him and how willing you are to do what he wants. You eagerly await him and his orders, always ready to obey.

But.

“Suguru!”

Satoru’s cry makes his face go from pure admiration to utterly sadistic. “Satoru.” He says, looking at the man to the right of you, the same man that’s panting and whining as the vibrator in his tight hole runs relentlessly. “Jealously doesn’t look very good on you.” He grins and hits a button on the small remote he holds in his hand that isn’t occupied with your mouth.

“Fuck—FUCK!” Satoru’s eyes clench shut, the whirring sound coming from his bottom getting faster and bit more high pitched. You’re grateful you aren’t in his position, you don’t know if you could handle Suguru having full control of how much pleasure you get to feel. Especially if that pleasure is ongoing… and nonstop.

Satoru looked unusually pathetic and… weak. It’s insane to think that the so called strongest sorcerer, the cocky, the arrogant, the man on top, bends to the will of his pretty best friend. Suguru’s change in character comes as a shock too. The sweet, soft-spoken, gentle, and empathetic sorcerer is now grinning down at his partner, showing no mercy, no kindness, and is only sending Satoru into deeper throes of overwhelming pleasure. You almost didn’t want to look at Satoru, what if Suguru surmised you wanted the same treatment. Would he show you mercy?

“Now, now,” Suguru muses, “if you can beg me properly, I’ll stop your torment. And of course you’ll need to apologize to Y/n and I for being such an impatient little shit.” He chuckles softly and withdraws his thumb from your mouth. “She’s being so well-behaved while you whine and whine and cry and cry about how much it is.” He mocks him, furrowing his eyebrows together in a false pity. “I suppose I should expect it, after all, you’ve cum how many times? That pressure against—“ Suguru crouches as he speaks “—your prostate—“ he runs the tip of his fingers up Satoru’s base “—it’s been nonstop for 30 minutes now.”

You can’t help but watch as Suguru’s hand starts to stroke Satoru now, giving expert attention to his neglected yet tortured cock. Suguru notices how you eyeball his actions and can’t help but smile wider.

“Ah, do you feel left out?” His false pity changes back to his gentle expression. “It’s alright, princess, why don’t you show Satoru how impressed you are with his stamina. Give him a little reward?”

Suguru is evil.

“I don’t think he could take it, Sugu.” You answer honestly.

He looks a bit disappointed but he relents his ministrations. “I suppose you’re right. But he still owes us an apology before his punishment ends.”

You nod and meet Satoru’s eyes. He can barely speak as his next orgasm approaches. “I-I’m so—“ his body is shaking. “I’m so sorry! I’ve been so—Suguru—so impatient! Please, I’m so so soo!!! So sorry!” He’s almost in tears now, you can tell Suguru is even beginning to feel pity for his best friend and his brat.

“Ahh… cum one more time and I’ll take it out. Show me you deserve mercy by pleading. Plead for mercy.” Suguru’s fingers tug at your nipples now, clearly losing interest in Satoru’s torment. You know that you aren’t being punished, but seeing Suguru like this… makes you a little weary.

“Please please!” Satoru repeats the word over and over. “I’m so sorry! Please, mercy!” He keeps prattling on, thrusting into the air as he struggles to keep together.

“Y/n.” Suguru looks to you. “Clean up his next mess for me. Lick his cock clean and then it’ll be your turn.”

Satoru starts to mumble and moan out different variations of thank yous and Suguru’s name as he reaches his final high. And when he cums, It’s a mess. Semen spills from his cock and your immediately there to catch it. Suguru’s eyes widen, absolutely loving your eagerness to take his cum down your throat.

“Good boy, good girl.” He pets your head and clicks the toy off, causing Satoru’s to collapse completely, his body weight bearing into the now standing legs of Suguru. He catches his breath, still whimpering as Suguru pets his head. Satoru looks you in the eyes, his beauty keeping your gaze fixated on his body. His six eyes are a little red, probably from the tears that he held back, and his body is flushed beautifully, his pretty cock slowly going soft as he does his best to calm down.

Satoru relaxes back on his knees while Suguru goes behind him to remove the toy from his ass and undo Satoru’s hand cuffs. You breathe a sigh of relief for him, always impressed by Satoru’s unwavering stamina and attitude. You wondered how Satoru enjoyed pissing Geto off so much, does he really enjoy these punishments that much? Suguru seemingly loves the after effects of a good punishment, his adoration of Satoru is evident in the way he kisses his head and gently rubs his back while Satoru regains his strength.

As much as you love watching, you are wondering why Suguru invited you to observe Satoru’s punishment. You’re not really complaining and it definitely isn’t the first time you’ve seen it, but, all you’ve had is a thumb in your mouth and a little bit of cocksucking. After all, Suguru can’t ever stay entirely focused on Satoru, he needs some pleasure himself.

Satoru seems to be wondering the same thing. “So, baby, why did you bring her in to watch?” He asks, rising from his knees to give them a break.

Suguru looks down at you. “Just on a whim.” He strokes your face before looking back toward his brat. “And I’ve noticed you get more worked up with an arousing audience.”

“Well, wouldn’t you if she was licking your cum from the floor?” Satoru grumbled, sitting on the bed.

Suguru turns his attention back toward you. “She does love cum in her mouth.” He strokes himself slowly, catching your attention.

“I want yours next.” You tell him, shifting your weight and sending him a smile.

Satoru watches as you lean forward to lick Suguru’s cock, taking his precum on your tongue. He doubt he could handle anymore cumming, but he certainly loves to see you take cock down your throat. If he had more energy, he’d love to stuff his down as well. “Like it that much, y/n?” He chuckles.

Suguru’s eyes shoot to Satoru. “Jealous again, Satoru?? Well, the question is are you jealous cuz my cock is down her throat or are you jealous cuz it’s not down your throat?”

Satoru sucks his teeth. “I want to watch her take me balls deep.”

Uh oh.

Suguru removes his cock from your mouth. “Satoru,” you start, “I don’t think you have enough energy to keep that attitude up.” Indeed, his stamina is incredible.

Suguru waits to see his reaction.

And of course, the other man grins and only adds fuel to the fire. “Think she’d look better with my cock in her mouth. She’s been paying more attention to me than you anyways.”

“Satoru…” you sigh and in seconds Suguru has him pressed back into the bed and is beckoning for you to get on with him.

Satoru laughs. “Aw, did I bruise your ego, baby? What are you gonna do about it?”

Suguru points to his mouth. “Sit on him to shut him up and I’ll give him a nice view of my cock in your mouth.”

Fuck, that sounds hot. Satoru just grins and motions for you to ride his face, pointing at his eager tongue that’s already out and waiting.

“Y/n, make sure he stays quiet I don’t want to hear him make a single peep. And since he likes being punished so much, I’ll punish you instead if he speaks.”

What?

You blink. Undeniably aroused but a bit scared of his now very evident sadism. “You know he’s going to try to speak now on purpose?” Mercy isn’t exactly his thing right now but you’ll pry at it for sure.

Suguru gives you an evil grin as you lower your weeping pussy onto Satoru’s face. “Then keep his mouth shut.”

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff drabble no2. making it up to you

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ drabble summary. after a pretty angsty period between you two, gojo tries to make it up to you with flowers & a kitten he finds on the side of the road. (note: for new readers, this is in continuation of my long fic gojo x reader series “kickoff”!! masterlist is linked below) ᰔ main storyline summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. drabble #2

ᰔ words. 2.2k

a/n. ahhh in the original ver of ch10, i actually wrote these scenes from reader’s pov, but cut them out and condensed them bc the word count was already super high haha. so it’s nice i have a chance to include them like this!! although this is written from gojo’s side of the events :”) hope you enjoy <3

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1 :: ♬.*ﾟplaylist

Gojo finds himself crouched down on the sidewalk outside of your apartment complex as he plucks thorns off of roses one by one, flicking them off of his finger and almost straight into his eyeball with how closely he’s inspecting the stems for any pointed edges.

Are roses poisonous? It’d be bad if they were, since he got pricked in about five different places when he rummaged through bushes at the city park to pluck them for you, walking straight into spring foliage and the no trespassing sign wasn’t going to stop him if it meant he could get the dopamine rush of seeing a smile on your face. But he couldn’t have you getting pricked the way he did. Just in case they were poisonous. And also because he’s not too keen on hurting you anymore than he already has.

“Hm?” he hums as he turns one of the roses in his hands, ankles starting to strain from holding his body weight up on them for so long, something Coach Yaga would make him run laps for, given he skips warm-up stretches at the top of every practice and his lack of flexibility was starting to show. Then he’s wondering if you were any flexible, and the thought threatens to make him horny at 6:17am.

There’s a ladybug creeping up the stem of a soft petalled red rose, missing the opportunity of seamlessly blending into the pigment since it just crawls onto one of the green leaves instead. Absolutely abysmal survival instincts, Gojo thinks to himself. He lets it be, regardless.

Well the flowers didn’t really put a smile on your face, turns out you don’t enjoy having to answer to a doorbell at the crack of dawn on the one day of the week you got to sleep in. He used all the people-reading skills he could possibly muster, and got the vibe that you were annoyed by the gesture. Maybe he could’ve chosen better flowers? He doesn’t know anything about flowers, although he probably should, since his mother used to run a florist shop before she traded it in to run a KFC downtown, near the city’s high school. Better business than selling shriveled up tulips, was how she defended her decision. But maybe if she’d kept it, she could have shown him what arrangement of flowers he should make for a girl he’s trying to apologize to.

You’re rubbing your eye, standing in an oversized stained old T-shirt and some shorts underneath that barely reveal themselves under the hem of the shirt. Cute, so fucking cute. Unbearably, really, but you deny it when he says it.

“You woke me up. And I look like bigfoot standing in front of you,” you say, still rubbing at your eye with a pout on your face.

“I still think you look pretty,” he says and now you’re scratching the top of your head where your hair piles up with coils that look like cotton candy.

“What are you doing here?” you ask through a sleepy voice that sounds a little grumpy.

“I got these for you,” he says, leaning against the doorframe of the entryway and holding out the arrangement of flowers he jumped over a fence to steal. In his defense, none of the supermarkets on the way were open at this hour, but the desperation and urge he had to see you today was so overwhelmingly strong, so he had to find an excuse.

You take the flowers from him, which have been sparsely held together by the newspaper he took from someone’s driveway, and you blink up at him. Your face was a little puffy with sleep, and he can’t help the pursed grin that makes its way onto his face. In very much contrast to your stone face.

“Did you pluck these for me??” you ask, peering into the bouquet.

“Uh-huh,” he affirms.

“From where?”

“The,” he points over his shoulder, “the city park.”

Apparently pilfering flowers from an area of no trespassing was not the romantic gesture he thought it would be, or possibly waking you up just to give them to you was the crime, since you mumbled something about wanting to go back to sleep and then shoo’d him away before he had the chance to ask you what you were doing this weekend. But that’s fine, maybe he’ll get another chance.

Divine intervention came the very next day. Why Gojo considers a kitten he finds in the bushes as an order from God to go talk to you again is a mystery even his good conscience wouldn’t understand, but he’s on a mission to make it up to you. It’s the only thing he wants to do.

He was taking a two minute break during his morning run, pacing down sidewalk panting slightly underneath spring heat, when he heard something crying deep within the bushes. Without a second thought, he’s pushing his way through branches that were a lot more spiky than anticipated, one tearing straight through the fabric of his shirt, but he finally spotted it—

A tiny little soot sprite sitting curled up in a ball between dead leaves and spiky twigs, the round of its form rising and falling fast with its heavy breathing just like Gojo is right now. It lifts his head up, triangular ears dropping then raising, dropping then raising, as it makes sense of its surroundings and eventually it cocks its head all the way up to look Gojo straight in the eye.

A kitten?

With paws rustling the leaves underneath it, it tilts its head and resumes its cries. Loud and sounding so hoarse from exhaustion in its throat that it sounds like a kazoo. All left alone and abandoned.

Gojo picks it up slowly, noticing it’s smaller than the size of his hand, and he holds it up into the air to inspect it. How does he know if it’s a girl or a boy? He pulls his phone out and types it into Google. Okay, in male kittens, the genital shape resembles a colon punctuation mark (:). He looks back at the kitten with no preservation of its genital honor. Yup, it’s a boy.

He has nothing against cats, he’s just not really used to them. His family had a dog growing up, a stunning Mongolian mastiff he could fight and wrestle with like a bear for as long as he could remember through to his teens, but because of that, he has no clue how to be gentle with an animal. And this little kitten seemed like it needed a whole lot of gentle from the way it shivers as he holds it in his arms.

He knows someone gentle.

In hindsight, he should’ve taken a glance in someone’s car door window to inspect for twigs and leaves in his hair before showing up at your front door, and he also should’ve felt weary over the ripped up condition of his shirt, but he didn’t think of those things until he was already standing at your front door. He briefly considered going shirtless, but then the idea of him showing up shirtless to your front door with no notice at an hour that wasn’t much better than the hour he visited you yesterday was something his gut was telling him wouldn’t be a wise thing to do. Although showing up shirtless most places has hardly ever failed him, he just had the feeling that you’d be different.

The kitten he holds in the curled palm of his hand trembles as it claws at Gojo’s shirt, calming down when it feels the warmth of his torso, and Gojo starts to find it cute. Then the door of your apartment flings open.

You stand there, looking neater than yesterday with your hair kept and you’re in some jeans with a light pink University of Tokyo T-shirt tucked into them. Your tote bag was slung around your shoulder, like you were just about to leave.

“S-Satoru?” you squeak out after jumping a little where you stand.

“Hey,” he says, leaning against the doorframe again since you seem to never allow him inside your apartment. Apparently the doorframe is as far as he’ll get.

“What are you doing here?” you ask in the same way you asked it yesterday, and you tuck strands of hair behind your ear. His heart beats faster at the sight, and the kitten probably feels it from the way it starts purring with a nuzzling head under his ribcage.

He pulls the tiny thing from his front and extends his arm out to you, as it sits dazzled and confused in the palm of his hand from the sudden loss of surrounding heat, and then it looks at you. And you look at it. “I brought you a cat.”

“Wha—” you stutter, and your face entirely softens, lower lip jutting out slightly in a pout as you use both hands to pick it up off of his hand, it’s tiny white paws dangling in the air before you settle it snug in your arms, and it chirps a mew before pushing its little face against the pillows of your breasts. Lucky bastard. “But why???”

He shrugs, crossing his arms now as an easy smile makes way onto his face. “I don’t know. I thought you’d think it’s cute and you’d want to keep it.”

“But I can’t,” you whine, your fingers scratching the top of its head and its purrs become louder. “I can’t keep cats in my apartment.” You lift the fluff ball up into the air, its tiny stubby tail now slightly wagging from side to side like it’s a puppy. He makes note that you are a person who has the ability to turn kittens into puppies.

“Keep it anyway,” he tells you, “you wouldn’t be the first college student to unlawfully keep a cat in their apartment.”

“No, no, no, you don’t understand,” you say, cradling the kitten in the nook of your elbow again. “I really can’t.” And your lips turn downwards into a frown, “this complex checks on tenants often. The people who rented this apartment before us couldn’t renew their lease because they got caught having a cat in the unit.”

His eyes widen. “Oh…that—…that sucks.”

“I can’t keep him,” you say, voice trembling slightly as you look down at it. It looked like it had fallen asleep in your arms. “I really want to, but I can’t. And he’s so cuuute, and tiny and sweet and—” He sees tears start to sheen in your eyes.

Uh.

Uh-oh.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

This was not going how he thought it would in his head.

He wasn’t supposed to make you CRY.

That was the last fucking thing he was supposed to do.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he tries to comfort you when he hears you sniffle and sees your lower lip tremble. He holds your shoulders to get you to look at him, and his heart physically hurts at the sight of seeing you so sad. For fuck’s sake, you were going to ruin him. “I’m sorry, I—…I didn’t know that, I shouldn’t have brought it here without knowing that first, it was stupid and—”

“Yes, it was,” you say with a broken voice, shrugging his hold off you and using the back of your hand to wipe at a tear rolling down your cheek.

He pulls you into him now, holding you in his arms against your resistance but you eventually tuck your head into his chest to continue your sniffling as he rests his chin on top of your head and rubs a soothing thumb over your arm. The kitten is sandwiched between you two now, and is probably in the most amount of bliss it’s ever had in its extremely short life so far from the amount of warmth it's being surrounded by right now.

He feels the cool dampness of your tears soaking through his shirt, and he holds you tighter. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.” It feels like he’s apologizing for a lot more than the kitten right now.

You pull one of your arms out, the one that wasn’t holding the kitten, from between the two of you and hold onto his shirt tightly, the places where it’s ripped tearing open even more. “You just don’t think sometimes and it really hurts,” you say, muffled.

He lets out a deep sigh, lips brushing against the top of your head and you two stand still here in the imaginary forcefield of your apartment’s doorframe. “I’ll be better. I promise.”

“Don’t be sweet right now,” you say, voice cracking again, “that hurts even more.”

He’s really confused, in all honesty, but he masks it and can only hope out of the ten things he does wrong, he can do at least one right. “Okay.”

You push yourself out of his hold and hand him back the kitten, all in a rush, and he notices you refuse to look at the soot sprite anymore, like you’re trying not to get attached. “Take him, and leave,” you say, hoisting your totebag higher up onto your shoulder.

“But—” he tries to protest but you push him a few paces backwards by palms against his chest until he’s standing outside into the hallway. There’s a slight scrunch to your brow from your irritation of him, and maybe his problem is that he just finds it cute. And then you shut the door on him.

After a moment of stunned silence, he hears the kitten meow incessantly in his palm.

The little shit’s mocking me, he thinks.

.

.

.

[end]

a/n. thanks for reading!! this was silly to write haha. tbh i think reader was on her period during this scene which is why she became very emotional. i may be projecting bc i sob like a little bitch over cute animals when im on my period LOL. and gojo is trying his best u guys he’s just a little dumb ok ✋🏼😔 his looks have got him this far we have to have patience w a pretty privilege victim okay!!!!

thanks so much for reading!! also i really want to write a drabble of gojo becoming a cat dad now aaaaa

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[hyuckiefluff]

Pretty Boy

pairing: na jaemin x f!reader genre: roommates to lovers wc : 1.2k + summary: you are determined to convince your roommate to let you put mascara on his pretty eyelashes but things escalate when playful touches become more intimate. a/n: this is a short story that i wrote in like an hour sorry if it’s kind of all over the place lol. it has an open ending so possible part 2 if it doesn’t flop?? tysm for reading &lt;33

part 2

"Jaemin, come here!!" you followed him out of the room as he escaped.

"Nope! Not a chance!" Jaemin retorted.

"C'mon, you're being so dramatic,"

"I'm not the one trying to poke your eyeballs with a strange object," he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he walked away, keeping a safe distance from you.

"Please, it's just mascara. I'm trying to see how it looks on you," you said, practically sprinting after him across the shared department.

"When I agreed to room with you, I didn't know I was signing up to become your little experiment," he grumbled, effortlessly leaping over the couch and assuming a defensive stance. "Why do you even want to put mascara on me?"

"Like I said, you're being dramatic. And you have the prettiest eyelashes I've ever seen, so I must see what they look like all done,"

He rolled his eyes, having had this conversation with you before. You had always pointed out the unfairness of him having such long lashes but never doing anything to them.

"I'm not letting you come close to my eyes with that thing," he firmly stated, causing you to let out a sigh of frustration.

“Wait, what’s that behind you?” While you didn't expect him to actually fall for it, he momentarily looked over his shoulder, and in that split second, you swiftly jumped over the couch, landing right on top of him with a victorious war cry.

"C'mooon," he protested, but his hands instinctively found their place on your hips, keeping you in place.

"I'm just going to apply a little bit," you said innocently, moving closer to his face. He remained silent, which caught you off guard, considering how vehemently he had opposed the idea just moments ago.

His gaze was fixed on you, and you took it as an opportunity to concentrate on your task. You were so focused on not accidentally poking his eyes that you failed to notice what his hands were doing. He started slowly caressing your hips, it seemed like he was doing it unconsciously at first but then he started gently pinching and groping and it was getting harder for you to keep your hand steady.

"Does it usually take you this long to do this?" he asked, looking upwards as you worked the mascara brush on his lashes.

"Well, excuse me, but you're distracting me," you responded, pausing for a moment to give him an accusing look. When he met your gaze, you almost dropped the brush because of how absurdly beautiful he looked. His eyes appeared larger, framed by the now even longer and darker lashes. Despite his frown and occasional uncomfortable blinking, he looked mesmerizing.

You brought the back of your hand to your mouth, trying to hide the smile threatening to escape. However, he caught your gesture and gently took your hand, placing a kiss on it. "What are you smiling at? Do I look that ridiculous?" he asked, his voice lowering in tone.

"No," you replied, your voice slightly faltering. "You look good." If he hadn't already sensed your flustered state from the way your voice trembled, he certainly did when you flinched in response to his hands grabbing your thighs and pulling you down closer to him.

"Really? Show me then," he said, his gaze fixed on you. For a moment, you were confused, dazed by the way he was looking at you. Then it clicked, and you understood what he meant. Without hesitation, you pulled out your phone to take a picture of him.

As you captured the shot, you couldn't help but bite your lip at how intimate it looked. He was looking up at you through his eyelashes, a slight smile playing on his lips. The image clearly showed the fact that you were straddling him, his hands resting on your thighs. You knew you'd have to delete this picture after showing him because your best friends were notoriously nosy, and the last thing you wanted was for them to stumble upon a photo of you practically riding your roommate.

"Are you gonna show me or..." his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you cleared your throat, handing him the phone. You would have gotten off his lap by now if it weren't for his hand still holding you firmly in place.

"Mhmm..." he hummed approvingly as he looked at the picture. "I like it. I'm sending it to myself."

"What? No, no," you panicked, attempting to grab your phone, but he held it out of reach, lifting it over his head. Retrieving it would mean getting even closer to him. Instead, you gave him a death stare and an expression that clearly said, 'Seriously dude?'

"If you like it so much, I can just take another one of just you," you pleaded.

"But I like this one because you're in it too," he responded, raising an eyebrow.

Your stomach dropped, and before you could form a coherent response, Jaemin propped himself up on his elbows, your phone abandoned somewhere behind him. His face was now incredibly close to yours, his minty breath filling the space between you. You couldn't move away, and if you're honest with yourself, you wouldn't even if you could. After two years of being roommates with Jaemin, you had grown used to him being clingy and affectionate, and while you had found yourself on his lap on previous occasions, it had never escalated to this level of intensity.

Unconsciously, you bit your lip, a nervous habit of yours, catching Jaemin's attention. He lifted his hand and gently caressed your bottom lip with his thumb, causing you to cease the biting. Now his focus was entirely on your lips, and perhaps it was your imagination, but he seemed to be getting closer. "Don't bite these pretty lips; you'll roughen them up," he whispered in your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

"Sorry..." you murmured instinctively, your voice sounding small and vulnerable. It was a clear indication that he was flustering you.

There were so many alarms going off in your head, warning you of the dangerous territory you were about to venture into. If you were smart, you would heed those warnings and run away.

"Okay, well, I'm done here, so..." you began to say, your voice trailing off.

"Are you? But there's a space here that needs taking care of," he pointed towards his eye, and as you leaned closer, you struggled to see anything out of the ordinary.

"What? Whe-" Your words were abruptly swallowed by his lips as they pressed against yours, catching you completely off guard. A whimper escaped your lips, met with a low grunt from him, as he skillfully moved his lips against yours. His hands found their way up from your hips to your waist, exploring the exposed skin revealed by your riding-up shirt. The kiss started off gentle but quickly escalated, his lips and hands working their way up your body. It was you who deepened the kiss, prodding him with your tongue, silently asking for entry. He sighed contently, granting you access, and the kiss grew wetter and more intense as your tongues danced together. His hips began to buck up, creating a delicious friction between your cores, eliciting moans from both of you.

There was no turning back now. You were well aware of it, and Jaemin seemed to understand too, as he pulled away from the kiss, suggesting, "Maybe we should move to the bed."

The implications made your lower stomach churn with a mix of excitement and nervousness, but you nodded, a smile playing on your lips.

"Let's go, pretty boy," you said teasingly, before darting away, Jaemin hot on your heels, eagerly chasing after you.

part 2

feedback is greatly appreciated! <3

[kayhi808]

First Crush - 7

It took forever to get Abby down for her nap. She was too excited about Bucky coming over today. You can't lie, you're a little excited too. It feels like an important step is being made. You've invited him into your sanctuary. You switched up the menu to a roasted chicken. He ruined the idea of spaghetti & meatballs with his guts & eyeball comment. Roast chicken was a better idea, you can just throw it in the oven & enjoy the movie with them.

Looking around the living room to see if there was something you missed. You threw Abby's toys in a basket & pushed it to the side, so at least the living room looked a little neat. You had on shorts & a peasant top. A little dressier for staying home, but you wanted to look good for Bucky.

"Mama?" You hear her footsteps running down the hall. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Where Bucky?" She looks around frowning. "I'm all done sleeping."

Bucky texted just a little bit ago saying he was getting near. "Pretty soon. He's on his way over right now. Let's brush your hair & put on a clean tshirt. We can wait for him downstairs.

*****

You and Abby wait on the stoop, singing songs she learned at daycare. There's a rumble of a motorcycle turning the corner that catches your attention. Of course he would own a bike. Your forehead wrinkles watching him pull in between the 2 cars parked out front. He looks sexy as hell, but you should have learned your lesson with Jason. Abby is jumping up & down clapping her hands watching Bucky take off his helmet. You have a hand on her arm keeping her away.

"How's my favorite girl?" Bucky smiles up at Abby as she pulls away from you & launches herself off the stairs at him. You're terrified that the daredevil gene will end up getting Abby hurt one day.

"ABBY!" Bucky easily catches her & hugs her to him. He sees the anger on your face and sets her down. "Abigail," turning her face towards you, "Don't you ever pull away from me like that. You know you aren't supposed to jump down the stairs."

"It's ok, Mama. Bucky catch me."

"No. No, it's not ok. What if he didn't?"

"I think you scared your Mama, Abby. Maybe you should say you're sorry." You see a stubborn frown on her face before she said she's sorry & you nod & kiss her brow. You stand up to face Bucky who looks concerned & bends down to kiss your cheek and whisper, "You ok?" He gives you an identical kiss to the brow that you gave Abby.

Nodding, "Nice bike."

"It's easier to find street parking," he shrugs. That makes perfect sense, but why does it still bother you? You shake off that thought & give him a smile.

Abby slips her hand in his, "Cans I ride it with you?"

"Absolutely not."

Bucky picks Abby up, "Let's listen to Mama, huh?"

"She's going to give me a heart attack.' You lead Bucky upstairs to your apartment. Abby has already switched topics & talking a mile a minute.

Once inside, Bucky opens his backpack & brings out 2 pints of ice cream, which brings a smile to your lips. Shyly, "I didn't know what flavor to get."

"Didn't know what would go well with guts & eyeballs? I switched to roast chicken by the way." He laughs & nods. "These are perfect. Abby, look what Bucky brought for dessert."

"Strawberry is my favorite! How yous know?"

Shrugging, "Lucky guess."

"Bucky, yous want to play toys in my room?"

"Um..."

"Baby, remember we were going to watch a movie. I'm going to make popcorn right now. Maybe you and Bucky can look for a movie instead."

"Oh yea! Come, Bucky." She tugs on his hand.

"What do you want to drink? I got iced tea, water, soda, juice...."

"Iced tea?"

"Mama, cans I has juice, please?"

"Yes, ma'am. One ice tea, one juice."

You put the chicken potato veggies in the oven. Pop some popcorn. Get their beverages and bring it to the living room. You find Bucky wearing a plastic lei and holding Pua, the pig from Moana, on his lap. Your jaw drops but you quickly take out your phone and snap a picture of him glaring at you. "Abby, where are you?"

You hear her feet running down the hallway, "I'm here, Mama!" She has a lei on & hula skirt. "I had to gives Bucky your lei."

"That's fine, Baby. It looks good on him."

Nodding, "So pretty!" She runs out again.

"Abby! What are you doing? The movie is going to start." You turn to Bucky who looks a little shell shocked. You straighten his lei. "You look good."

You hear Abby running back and now she's added on a tiara, "Ok, Mama! Puts yours on." She climbs on the couch and places one on Bucky. "There."

"That's perfect, Baby. Let's take a picture." Standing on the couch next to Bucky, she wraps her arms around him squishing her cheek up against his. "Nice! Say cheese! Smile, Buck." Then you sit on his other side and get a selfie of the 3 of you.

"Lemme see, please." Abby takes your phone and squeals. "Good work, Mama! We so pretty!" She plops down next to Bucky, "Okies, I'm ready for the movie."

You play "Moana", one of Abby's favorites so she's zoned out singing every song. Doing little dances. Bucky takes the opportunity to wrap his arm around you pulling you close. Whispering, "If you send those pics to anyone on the team, I will end you."

Next Chapter

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[miguelsslvt]

miguel o’hara x fem! reader shower sex

word count: 796

TW: smut, nsfw, fingering, miguel is a little cutie

A/N: happy kinktober my loves, enjoy the smut, welcome to the club;)

Miguel had been quite busy recently. And when I say quite, I mean very. You two used to have sex at least once every day, but now you’re lucky if you guys can even see each other during the week. You understood it was his duty to protect the multiverse and keep it in order, but damn you’re starting to think Lyla might be more important then you.

Thats why, on one night, Miguel finally got back after being out for 4 days. You two had barely even spoken. He looked tired, as you walked up to him, hugging him softly. ‘God you look shattered.’ You said, pointing at his eyeballs. ‘Didn’t you sleep in the spare room at HQ?’ You asked, he nodded. ‘Yeah, but you know what the beds like.’ He reminded, as you nodded. ‘yeah.. pretty bad. Cmon, lets get you cleaned up. You smell like crap’ you teased, as he chuckled softly, holding your hips as you both went into the bathroom.

this had been the first time in exactly 2 weeks and 5 days you had seen Miguel naked. And god, it was like a bottle of fresh water. His tan kissed skin, his abs and muscles flexing in just the right way, his v-line looking delicious as always. it was like he was sculpted by a god. You both got into the shower, the hot water going on both of your heads, as Miguel pulled you right on top of the shower head, as you gasped and giggled in surprise. He laughed softly, kissing you passionately.

You kissed back of course, missing this sweet side of him. Its quite uncommon to see Miguel be human for once.

Things got heated pretty quickly. He had picked you up by your thighs, pinning you onto the shower wall. your hands gripped around his thick neck, as your tongues danced together. He let go soon enough, panting. ‘We haven’t.. in so long..’ He said between pants, you nodded. ‘If you don’t want to-‘ ‘I’ve been craving you for weeks, love.’ He whispered, the water still hot on Miguels back.

He kissed you again passionately, placing a finger inside you. ‘Missed this sweet pussy..’ He growled, lacing another finger inside as you gasped in pleasure. Sure you’ve fingered yourself this week thinking about Miguel, but nothing can compare to his long, huge fingers.

‘god.. mig..’ You moaned breathlessly, as he just shut you up by kissing you once again. ‘..you ready, mi amor?’ He cooed, taking out his fingers and putting his tip just on your hole. You nodded desperately. ‘please.. you don’t understand how much I’ve needed this..’ You confess, as he plunged all 8 and a half inches inside you. You moaned out loudly, gasping as you felt the same usual heat as you always do when miguel is filling you up.

‘You okay..?’ He asked, groaning. You nodded, leaning your head on the cold shower wall. ‘y..you can move..’ You said, as he nodded.

He started thrusting into your slowly, as his pace soon sped up. You moaned in ecstasy, eyes glued onto Miguel. he was a panting mess, his hands grabbing anything of you as he could. Your waist, your thighs, your tits, your neck, your hands, everything.

‘fuck.. you feel so good, sweetheart.. could stay stuck with you like this forever..’ He whispered in your er, as your lower stomach felt hot as he thrusted deeper. harder. Your mind was foggy and clouded in lust, all you could think about was Miguel and how good he ws making you feel. ‘M..Miguel.. gd feels so good..’ You whispered, whining a little. He chuckled slowly, lifting you chin to look up at him. ‘Its okay, keep your eyes on me. i’ll always be here, okay?’ He said, kissing you sloppily. ‘Always gonna be here to fuck my girl the way she deserves.’ He said between the kiss, as you moaned softly, hands trailing up and down his abs, feeling the same familiar hot coil down your stomach.

‘g..gonna.. Miguel..’ You whined, as he nodded. ‘I know. I know..’ He whispered, as he got faster and harder with the thrusts, so hard you swore you started seeing stars. You let out a loud moan of Miguel’s name, as your eyes rolled back, cumming on his cock.

miguel kept going, biting his lower lip, grunting as he groaned loudly beside you ear, mumbling something in Spanish as he came deep inside you.

You both panted together, the sound of the shower still there. You could worry about the water bill later.

You looked up at Miguel, as he kissed you passionately.

‘We’re not done yet, my love.’ He said, his voice husky and deep. god, you knew you were in for it now.

[1-800-luvmail]

[ read part one w/ price here ! ]

reader who would rather skydive without a parachute than have their self sufficiency questioned vs cod men [ 2 / ? ]

könig assumed that when you invited him to bake with you, it was going to be a cute little activity for the two of you to do. a simple afternoon in your kitchen, making some baked goods to enjoy later.

he could not be more fucking wrong. you bake up a storm, leaving trails of flour, baking soda, sugar and whatever other substances you've used in your wake. you also seem to be eyeballing every single measurement. it's chaos. he's never seen a more disorganized process of making red velvet cupcakes.

the worst part is, könig can't seem to understand why he's even there.

"hey can you pass me th— nevermind, i got it." you say, standing on the tips of your toes to reach a bag of chocolate chips which was just a little too high. he's just a whole 6'10 ft of useless, standing in your kitchen, and getting in the way.

so instead of waiting for instructions, he choses to make himself helpful by attempting to clean as you bake. it works smoothly for the most part. he wipes up any milk you've spilt on the counter, places a batter covered spoon in the sink to be washed later (not before taking a little taste of course... and mess be damned, you're good at baking even if the sample he got was raw), and moves the bowls you don't quite need yet out of the way.

everything is going fine. you're talking to him like this is the most calming activity on earth and he's replying with little hums of acknowledgement and nods as he swiftly tries to get a little more batter from the whisk you've just stopped using.

"hey— no. you're gonna get sick. there's raw egg in there." you chide, just as he's about to sneak a lick. he wonders how you even noticed, considering you seem to be using 110% of your concentration on filling up the cupcake liners with just enough batter for each cupcake to be roughly the same size, which happens to be the only semblance of consistency you've had this entire baking session.

"i'm not going to die because of a little batter." he counters, amused by your concern. he can't help but chuckle.

you snort, rolling your eyes. "famous last words of an impatient man."

eventually, your baking frenzy subsides. the red velvet cupcakes are cooled after being pulled fresh out of the oven, you've made an insanely good homemade cream cheese icing to go on top (which you begrudgingly allow him one taste of. one.), and it's time to decorate. you've piped on most of the icing already, but the unsatisfied stare you give your baked goods allows him to piece together it isn't over yet.

"i think these need sprinkles." you murmur after a moment. your eyes glance around and eventually land on possibly the highest shelf in the kitchen. where the sprinkles just so happen to be. he tries to supress laughter when he sees the disbelief on your face. "motherfu—"

"i will get it." könig interrupts, stepping towards the shelf. you step in front of him, blocking him from getting there, hauling a chair with you.

"nope. won't need to. 'm innovative." he watches you set up the chair and get ready to climb up— only to gently grab your forearm and tug you back.

"famous last words of a stupid person." he scoffs, echoing your words from earlier.

you shoot him an exasperated look as you wriggle out of his grasp.

"c'mon, i do this like, what— all the time? hasn't killed me yet." you say, pointing at the shelf. "it's not that high. i'll just climb up to reach it."

"or you could swallow your pride and allow me to get it."

"and what fun would that be?"

he sighs at your response, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he mutters something to himself. probably in german. not like you could hear. you were too busy staring up at the shelf and getting the chair set up.

on one hand, könig wants to help to prevent you from potentially falling and eating shit, but on the other, he knows you well enough to understand there's no stopping you. so instead, he settles for a compromise.

könig moves the chair out of the way.

"i said, i'm getting it by myself. i kinda need the chair for that." you huff, glancing back at him, only to watch as he lowers himself, arms wrapping around your legs. "hey wh—"

before you can process, you're hoisted up into the air with a startling ease.

"alright," he isn't even trying to hide his smirk as he lifts you up, high enough to reach the shelf, "you can get it."

[potato-lord-but-not]

HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT DRAWING SIDE PROFILES. WHICH OTHERWORLDLY CREATURE DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL TO TO BE ABLE TO DRAW SIDE PROFILES SO WELL AND CAN I GET THEIR CONTACT INFORMATION.

ok firstly thank you but I’m legally unable to name the being I sold my soul to- HOWEVER I hope this little tutorial will suffice (and maybe actually help ya a bit)

1: start with a circle, and a rather imperfect square overlapping it as shown. The imperfectness of the square depends on the face shape you’re going for. The two shapes are the beginning of our head and jaw.

2: I like to work down from the brow to the chin. the top of the square is where you’ll be placing the bridge? top of? start of the nose, and the bottom of the circle is where you’ll stop and start with the lips. lip sizes and how far they go out can vary depending on the person, but generally the bottom lip sticks out less than the top. for the chin, make it curve back in slightly before protruding out to the same length as the upper lip.

3: neck starts from the middle of the square to almost the end of the circle, that’s something I usually just eyeball so you can do whatever feels best yk. and the ear fits nicely between the top of the square and the bottom of the circle, right along side the square.

4: eyebrow is placed where are little brow ridge(?) is, but can vary depending on expression, so don’t think too hard about it. for the eye you’ll want to start with the top lid, the front of the eye, and then the bottom lid, which makes kind of a leaf shape ?? the pupil will be like a quarter of an oval,, staying relatively flat along the front of the eye, and curving halfway until it meets the top of the eye. (ALSO if you were to have a more opened eye, the top lid would be level with the brow ridge)

and then the rest ? go crazy. also you can get a lot of variety I think with these basic rules like where the face placements go, which can be molded depending on the person, as so:

ummm hopefully this helps have fun with the side profiles girlies I’m so sorry I’m bad at explaining things 💔

[poniesart]

[Image description: A series of images depicting a song-based comic about Stanley and Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls.

Image 1: The top panel shows Stan, a grey-haired older man in a suit, breaking out of handcuffs in an interrogation room. Lyrics to the left read "They tried the handcuffs, but they won't lock."

The bottom panel shows Ford, a similar man with less grey in his hair, wearing a sweater and jacket. He has a shock collar on that emits blue electricity. Lyrics to the right read "electrical courses, but they won't shock."

Image 2: The top panel shows Ford holding a gun, looking behind him and running. There is a "Wanted" poster of him, on the wall beside him. Lyrics to the left read "You pulled the fire alarm."

The bottom panel shows Stan holding a suitcase of money, looking behind him and running. Behind him is a police car with its lights on, and a cop laying on the sidewalk. Lyrics to the right read "You tried punching a cop."

At the bottom of the image, six busts of Stan and Ford show them aging over thirty years. Lyrics above them read "You're just too tired to stop."

Image 3: An all-black background. White text shows the lyrics "You old pine box." Below is a white outline of a coffin.

Image 4: The left panel shows Stan in a basement, looking down at a journal with his head in his hands. The top of his head is breaking open, and flower pot shards drift away. A plant with a few leaves grows out of his head. Lyrics atop the panel read "You old pine box, with your head full of rocks, sharp like a cracked flower pot."

The right panel shows Ford at a cooking fire, drawing plans for a weapon called a "quantum destabilizer" as he glances suspiciously behind him. Eyeballs with bat wings fly out of an open portion of his head. Lyrics atop the panel read "You old paper head, on your skull full of bats, there's no percentage in that."

Image 5: The top panel shows a younger Ford in the foreground clutching a journal. Behind him, Fiddleford, a man wearing circle glasses and a cultist robe, is walking away from Ford. Further back is Caryn Pines, a dark-haired woman reaching out to Ford. In the very back is Filbrick Pines, a man with sunglasses and a mustache. Lyrics to the right read "They called relations, but they declined. They called the fanclub, but they'd resigned."

The bottom panel shows a younger Stan in the foreground with a grim look on his face. He is walking away from a crashed car on fire in the background. Lyrics to the left read "Left your car in a field and some questions behind."

Image 6: A night view of the second stories of some buildings. In the middle building, Caryn is leaning outside the right-hand window. She has grey in her hair, and is smoking a cigarette and looking up at the stars. Text in the sky reads "Your mom thinks you're out of your mind."

End ID.]

Song: They Might Be Giants - Old Pine Box. Again, I recommend reading with the song playing!

Another year, another Gravity Falls lyric comic, because I am always in my feelings about it!! I could froth at the mouth for ages about Stan and Ford being more similar than they might think - self-isolating, determined, desperate - but instead I drew this.

This is another one I had cooking in the back of my head for, probably, years, because my brain makes so many connections between TMBG songs and GF. I hope you like it!!

[fruitglazed]

WHAT KIND OF RECS

rough sex w matt pls im in heatttttttttttt

I hope this makes your pussy throb. ୨⍣୧

♡

♡

Turning off the water, you open the shower door, grabbing the towel you placed on the counter. Wrapping it over your body, you hear a ding. Checking your phone, it reads “See you at 6pm, pretty girl.” Confirmation text from Matt, your boyfriend of a few months. Followed by another ding, you glance down at your phone again. “Bro, I’m right next to you, no need to text me.” His brother Chris sent back. Chuckling to yourself, you dry both your hands off on the towel around your frame. “See you boys tonight. And Nick, what’re you wearing?” Pressing send, you smile to yourself. Our hebdomadal dinner was a go tonight. The four of you decided on a fancy Steakhouse. One of your favorites in particular. Expensive, but yummy. It was Matt’s turn to pay. You love to watch Matt get riled up whenever Chris would order almost the entire menu since he wasn’t in charge of the bill this time. Running out of the bathroom after finishing your hair and makeup, you head into your room browsing through your closet. With another ding from your phone- “White tank top and my corduroy striped pants. The purple ones.” Loving the message, you threw your phone on the bed. Time to get to work. Stripping each article of clothing you had from its place, you managed to decide on a simple satin dress. Eggshell shade, buttons on one side, starting from the hip, down to the slit of the dress. Not too short, just the perfect length. Thin spaghetti straps, hanging over your shoulders. The dress fit you in all the right places. To compliment Nick, you found a pair of open toed purple sandals. Adding on all your gold accessories, you look at the clock. 5:49pm. Dousing yourself with your favorite smell, you head back into your room and grab your phone. As you scroll through, you press Matt’s contact to give him a call. “Hey, baby. What’s up?” Matt says. “Just finished getting ready, I can’t wait to see you tonight. I’m wearing a pretty dress for you, I hope you’ll take it off of me later.” You breathe out. Almost moaning. You and Matt were like wild animals when it came to sex. Time and place didn’t matter. Matt’s breathing became louder as he spoke into the phone. “You don’t have to ask me twice. Should I just cancel dinner and come do it now?” Laughing you said you wouldn’t mind. Matt could fuck you any time he pleased, and you’d thank him. You weren’t shy when it came to him touching and fucking you. “I think we should role play tonight.” You suggested. This was one of your favorites to do with Matt. He thought it was fun, especially since you always got into character. “Sure, baby. That sounds like fun. We’re on our way to get you now.” Cheerfully, Matt had responded back. “See you soon, baby.” Blowing a kiss over the phone, you hung up.

Luckily the drive to your place from theirs, was only 2 minutes give or take. You locked up the house and walked to the end of the driveway. Pulling up, you see Matt in the drivers seat, and Chris in the passenger seat. Chris hops out of the door to offer you the front, but you decline and slip into the backseat next to Nick. “Hi boys! Are we ready for dinner this evening?” You exclaim. “Oh yes girl. Chris has been pissing me off all day because he’s hungry. Literally at any point he could’ve gotten a snack and just shut the fuck up.” Nick huffed out, smacking his lips. “Nick, shut up. You know I don’t eat much when it’s not my tab I have to worry about.” Chris spoke, rubbing his hands together, with a menacing laugh, all the while he stares down Matt. Smiling to yourself, you know Matt’s going to punch Chris when he sees the bill. “Hi, Matt. Ready for dinner?” I say in his direction. He eyeballs me through the mirror, taking turns looking at the road, then me. “Mhm.” His throat vibrates out. Hm. He must be getting into character already. You shrug and spark up a conversation with Nick and Chris. Once arrived at the Steakhouse, you all shuffle in and pick your seats. Matt goes on the opposite side of the table, across from Nick. Pulling the chair out from the table for you, expecting you to sit next to him, and Chris to sit with Nick, you decline again. You plop down right next to Chris, taking Nick’s usual spot. Furrowing his eyebrows, Matt stops and stares at you. With a blank look on his face, not taking his eyes off you, “Nick, sit next to me.” Leaves Matt’s lips. Nick puts his hands up and nods, sitting down next to him. Matt takes his seat still with his eyes locked on you. Staring back, not intimidated by him, you smile and make sure everyone has a menu. “Okay…” Chris says, breaking the tension between the Matt and I. “Yeah, what’s the deal?” Nick pipes in. “Nothing! I’m totally cool. I’m excited for tonight, I’m hungry and I’m with my best friends. Besides, it’s all on Matt, tonight.” A smirk creeping onto your lips. Nick and Chris giggle, while Matt is still monotone. Just before anyone can say anything else, a waitress stops by to take the tables order. “Hi there, welcome in! what can I get started for drinks for you all?” She says, pulling out her pen and notepad. “I’ll take an ice water with lemon. Thanks sweetheart.” Matt says smiling, looking from her straight to you, but dropping the smile. “Uh, yeah. We’ll do 3 more of those. Thanks!” Nick quickly says, hurriedly getting the waitress away from the table. You look at Matt, biting your lip almost laughing in disbelief. Looking back at your menu, skimming all the possibilities, the waitress appears with the lemon water and some bread and butter. As she’s setting them down on the table, she takes her hand and caresses Matt’s shoulder. Watching his every move from behind your menu, you roll your eyes. “Thanks again, sweetheart.” Matt repeats, this time with more of a flirtatious tone. Two can play at this game. Ignoring them and rescanning the menu, Chris leans over next to you- “Oh, by the way, you look very pretty tonight. You clean up nice, kid.” He says, innocently. You look up from your menu and glance at Matt, then turning to Chris. “Aww thanks Chris. That’s so sweet of you. I must say you’re looking rather handsome yourself.” You wink at him, bringing your hand up to his face just underneath his chin, giving his cheeks a little squeeze. You blow a kiss at him, then bring your eyes back to Matt. Anything goes when you role play. You can tell he’s seething in his chair. Trying not to make it obvious that it clearly had an effect on him. “I’ll be right back you guys, I’m going to the bathroom.” You excuse yourself and head to the ladies room. Once you find the bathrooms, you head in. Looking in the mirror, thinking to yourself this is not how tonight is supposed to go. In an instant the bathroom door flies open. Matt enters, locking the door behind him. “What the fuck was that?” He says harshly. Almost anything goes when you role play.

Playing dumb, you respond. “What was what, sweetheart?” Matt is two inches from your face. “You know what.” Sternly and not holding back, he gets even closer. “I pick you up, and you get in the back? We get here, you don’t sit next to me? Now you’re out there getting cute with Chris?” His chest is now touching yours. Not saying a word, you just look up at him. “He might look like me, but he can’t fuck like me.” Matt says brazenly. Your cheeks burn. Your core is on fire. Staring into his eyes, his pupils widen, getting darker by the second. Trying to slow your breathing down, you shrug. “Turn around. Now.” Matt flips you around, both of you looking at yourselves in the mirror. His dick outlined through his pants, grazing your ass. You softly moan to yourself. “Don’t make a sound unless I fucking tell you to.” Matt replies. Pressing his hand on your back, he pushes your chest to the cold counter. Matt brings his hands up your thighs to the buttons on your dress. In a motion he tears at your dress, buttons flying everywhere. All you can do is stare at him. “Good girl.” He breathes out. Pulling up your dress to the small of your back, exposing your ass and glistening pussy. “No panties? And you’re already soaked? I haven’t even touched you. You’re such a slut for me.” Dropping to his knees, he’s face first with your core. He drags his thumb up and down your cunt. Standing back up behind you, he shoves his finger in his mouth, licking it clean. Unbuckling his pants with one hand, they fall to the floor. Without warning, he shoves his cock deep inside you with no time to adjust. “Matt!” You yell out, forgetting what he just said. “Shut the fuck up.” He grits through his teeth. Matt takes his hands and wraps them around your throat, slightly squeezing each time you make a noise. Holding onto the sink, you could feel his rage with each stroke. Tears forming in the corner of your eyes from the pain, yet pleasure he’s enduring on your tight little pussy. “Don’t you ever think about sitting next to anyone else but me. Don’t ever touch anyone else but me. Next time, I’ll fuck you in front of them. Show them what’s mine.” The sound of moans and his hips slapping against your ass is definitely loud enough to hear from outside the bathroom. “Who fucks you like this, huh? Whose pussy is this.” Matt grabs ahold of your face, lining it up with the mirror. Watching him use you, sliding his cock in and out, making you take him deeper and deeper with every breath he breathes. Looking him in the eyes, you whisper out through tears “It’s yours, Matthew. This is your pussy.” A moan leaves your lips. Eyes rolling in the back of your head. Speeding up his thrusts, he’s hate fucking you, you can barely form a sentence. “Matt, I can’t take it-“ Throwing your head back. Matt grabs your hips, guiding your body with his slams into you. Clenching his member with your walls, you wish he could be buried in you forever. Your wetness leaking down your legs, hoping that he will lick it up afterwards. “Gonna fuck my load right into that cunt of yours. You’re gonna take every last drop.” His voice was dark. His thrusts began to slow, but he was still in control. Pumping in and out of you once more, he came in an instant. Matt pulled out and immediately crouched down, staring at your sweetly filled pussy. Watching his cum drizzle out of you, he took two of his fingers and stuffed it right back inside, swirling it around. Once he was satisfied, he brought his fingers up to your lips and shoved them in. Observing you suck the conjoined juices off his fingers, made him ready to fuck you again. Matt placed a sweet kiss on your lips and fixed your dress. Buckling his pants and running his hand through his hair, he grabbed your hand. “Let’s go baby, we have a dinner to ever back to.” He smiled back at you. Almost like he didn’t just fuck you senseless in your favorite Steakhouse’s bathroom. Walking out hand in hand from the women’s restroom, you get back to the table.

“Nick, do you mind if I trade seats with you?” You say, still holding onto Matt’s hand. Nick stands up and lets you sit, scooting the chair in for you. Chris and Nick both look at you and Matt, and then back at each other, laughing. “What?” Matt scoffs. “Oh nothing, just wondering if you love birds squashed the beef you had, or if you needed to go back to the bathroom for round 2?” Chris cackled. “Oh my god, you heard that?” You gasped. I mean you knew, but you didn’t want to believe it. “Oh sweetheart, everyone heard it.” Nick added. Rolling your eyes while giggling to yourself, Matt leans over to you. “I’ll be ready for round two when we get home.”

♡

hiiiiiii…,,,,,,,, so I feel like I got sloppy at the end. >:-( ! anyways hope this was good enough 4 u anon <3 thank u 4 requesting this. Let me know anything yall want me to make come to LIFE! Mwah 💋

[paper-mario-wiki]

PLEASE share the pancake recipe!!!

ingredients (eyeballed measurements, you can do this):

pancake mix (buttermilk mix bought from farmer Bob who has a corn maze outside of seattle)

milk

1 or 2 egg whites per serving (you can determine what that means, i trust your judgement)

i preheat my stove to a little over medium. like in the 5-7 range.

pour the milk into the buttermilk mix until it's like, as thick as a smoothie. it doesnt have to be perfectly smooth, and actually wouldn't benefit from it either.

crack an egg but open it upward so that the contents dont spill out. then, over the bowl, pour the yolk back and forth between the two pieces of shell. after a few times, the yolk will separate from the whites, which will fall out and into the bowl.

then you feed the yolk to Scarlet, my dog, with her breakfast kibble.

i whip the egg whites in a cereal bowl with a fork. the whole point of whipping the whites is to trap air in them, until they basically turn into a foam. keep that in mind while you're mixing, and try to trap air in the mixture. imagine you're a taffy puller. ya know, pulling taffy. same principle. use the arm you jerk off with, as it's probably stronger and has the same basic muscle memory for this task.

after they're nice n foamy, add them to the batter, but don't mix or whip it in. as much as you can, gently fold the two concoctions together. you don't wanna pop all those bubbles you just made.

i like to hold a stick of butter and draw all over the pan to coat it in a semi-generous amount of butter, which will make the skin super crispy as it sorta fries in it.

the old "wait until the bubbles on the back of the pancake pop to flip it" rule doesnt really work here, since the thing is basically gonna be bubbling and foaming and popping IMMEDIATELY, so INSTEAD:

wait until the batter is only 40% shiny on top, as a lot of the pancake is going to cook through very quick since the batter is basically a dense network of very thin bubble walls.

after flipping, give it about 70% of the time you gave it on the first side to properly finish up the bottom.

i suggest pairing with bacon and hashbrowns.

[wendigo-volturi]

The Volturi kings have a mate who just blurts out the most random things, like she’ll turn around one moment and go “I wonder what a slug tastes like” and the Volturi kings will look over like “wha..?”

1. Aro, Marcus, and Caius' mate once asked them, "Do you think vampires have allergies? Like, what if I'm allergic to a certain type of blood and I just don't know it yet?"

2. While the Volturi kings are discussing important matters, their mate suddenly bursts out with, "I've always wondered if ghosts have a favorite color. What do you think, boys?"

3. Aro is in the middle of explaining a complex strategy to Marcus and Caius when their mate interrupts with, "I read somewhere that the average person walks past a murderer 16 times in their lifetime. Do you think we've walked past one as vampires?"

4. Marcus is lost in thought as usual when their mate suddenly says, "If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or does the vampire become a zombie?" Caius and Aro exchange confused glances.

5. As the Volturi kings are enjoying a quiet evening, their mate suddenly announces, "I have a theory that if you sneeze with your eyes open, your eyeballs will pop out. Should I try it?"

6. Caius is engrossed in a particularly interesting book when their mate asks, "Do you think time travelers exist? Like, what if we've already met one, but we just didn't know it because they were really good at blending in?"

7. Aro, Marcus, and Caius are enjoying a rare moment of relaxation when their mate muses, "I wonder if we could train a squirrel army to do our bidding. They're so sneaky and quick, it could be our secret weapon."

8. Marcus is quietly observing the room when their mate suddenly exclaims, "I've always wanted to see a penguin in a top hat. Do you think they would look classy or just ridiculous?"

9. Aro and Marcus are in the middle of a heated debate when their mate interrupts with, "I've been thinking, what if mermaids are just really advanced octopuses that evolved to live in the water?"

10. Caius is trying to maintain his composure when their mate blurts out, "I wonder if aliens have ever visited Earth and thought humans were the weirdest creatures they've ever seen. Can you imagine what they would write in their alien blogs about us?"

Aro: "Darling, sometimes I wonder where these thoughts of yours come from."

Caius: "I think we may need to consider expanding our library to accommodate her varied interests."

Marcus: *chuckles* "She certainly keeps us on our toes, doesn't she?"

[basuralindo]

Hey I'm dropping a crepe recipe because there's still people around who think they're hard to make and I'm sick of french food being romanticized to the point of inaccessibility.

I call this a 3-2-1 method to make it easy to remember; 3 eggs, 2 cups water/fluid of choice, 1 cup flour.

I'm sparing you the obligatory backstory on my path to cooking extremely flat pancakes because we both know that neither of us care. If you want to hear me overshare check my blog between 1-4am pacific time.

•Anyway, start with three eggs and beat with a fork until they're all one color (you can use a whisk or an egg beater but I hate the extra steps. Fork it):

•Add 1 cup flour:

•Add whatever dry flavoring you want (I usually go with cinnamon and cardamom, today we're doing matcha cause that happens to be what I'm cooking. Some mornings caffeine is meant to be eaten):

•Add sugar to taste if desired. It's not necessary for the recipe, and if you've managed to add enough to throw off the consistency you've got other shit to worry about, so follow your heart. I usually use like two tablespoons or so (I prefer brown, but white tastes better with matcha):

•Decide on your fluid of choice. Water and/or milk is the usual, but you can do literally whatever you want; hot cocoa, coffee, tea, soda -whatever you want them to taste like. Go nuts with it. Use soup if you want idgaf it's between you and your chosen god at this point. I recommend starting with 2 cups for simplicity, but you can add more if needed for the right consistency. At this point I just eyeball it tbh.

•Add a little at a time and start mixing until it's as smooth as you can get (this is also where you'd add wet flavorings, like vanilla extract):

•Add the rest until the batter is roughly the consistency of heavy whipping cream, or like thin tomato soup (if you actually ran with the soup joke, add a little water to thin it out). Just get it to where it's still a little viscous but will run if you pour it on the pan:

•For best results cover and let it sit in the fridge overnight or for a few hours (it will separate a little, just mix it again). For last minute "I forgot to prep this last night but I really want crepes" results, we're putting it aside while I wash dishes and heat up the pan.

•Ladle out like ¼ cups worth onto a hot lubricated pan (butter or cooking oil, medium heat) and swirl it until it coats the bottom. Don't stress if it looks like shit the first few times, that's what practice is for, add a little more fluid if it's not spreading well:

•cook until the top is no longer wet and edges start to lighten:

•Flip it with either a very flat spatula or sheer hubris (spatula recommended for beginners), and cook for like 45 seconds (I have no sense of time), then slide it onto a plate:

•Top with whatever you want and try whatever folds/rolls you saw in that one show that made you think these were cool.

Go forth, have fun, eat well.

(if you want an even easier method with only mild sacrifice to quality: mix a couple eggs and some extra fluid into your leftover pancake batter and leave it in the fridge for the next morning)

[toreii]

Sebek: “And, you must be very worried about Princess Meleanor.”

Lilia: “Worried? Me about Princess Meleanor? Ahahaha!”

Lilia: “It’s not the princess I’m worried about. It’s Wild Rose Castle, and my own life!”

Lilia: “During my absence, the castle was completely destroyed by the princess’s tantrum…I want to avoid something like that.”

Sebek: “Huh?”

Lilia: “The Draconians, who rule the Briar Country, are the descendants of the dragons, who are said to be the pinnacle of the night spring genus.”

Lilia: “The “princess” of your country may be a beautiful person that everyone should protect…”

Lilia: “Our princess is so strong that even if we attacked her as a group, we wouldn't stand a chance.”

Lilia: “On top of that, she’s a tomboy, quick to quarrel, selfish, and prone to tantrums…furthermore, she’s unbelievably vicious.”

Lilia: “Princess Meleanor is truly the “most evil” princess in Briar Country.”

Lilia: “If you’ dawdle, lightning will strike your head, or you’ll be roasted by flames blowing from her mouth.”

Lilia: “I’m not kidding, I tell you. Seriously, that princess.”

Baul: “G-GENERAL OF THE RIGHT! YOU’VE SAID ENOUGH!”

Lilia: “How rude. I’ve dragged this out long enough.”

Lilia: “I mean, I’ve been abused by that princess for 300 years as far as I can remember.”

Lilia: “If Lady Meleanor was only the kind of princess who quietly waits for a prince riding a white dragon to the castle…”

Lilia: “I’m sure I wouldn’t have to struggle as much.”

Baul: “G-GENERAL OF THE RIGHT!”

Lilia: “Well…the only solace is that I’ll be able to stay at Wild Rose Castle obediently for the next 2-3 years.”

Lilia: “As expected of a princess, she won’t do anything unreasonable until her precious egg hatches.”

Sebek/Silver/Grim: “EGG!!??”

Lilia: “What? Why are you suddenly shouting…?”

Silver: “Princess M-Meleanor already has an heir!?”

Sebek: “Y-Y-Young…no, where is the egg now!? Is it in Wild Rose Castle with its parents!?”

Yuu:

(Tsunotarou was born from an egg!?)

(How old is Tsunotarou?)

Baul: “Why do you guys care where the heir egg is?”

Baul: “It’s suspicious……surely, you wouldn’t be going after the egg!?”

Silver: “O-Of course not! We didn’t even know an heir had been born…!”

Lilia: “Haa…you’d know where the egg is even if you walk around that area in this country.”*

Lilia: “Dragon eggs do not hatch unless you pour love and magic from their parents.”

Lilia: “Besides, the safest place in this country is none other than the arms of Lady Meleanor.”

Lilia: “As far as I know, it can’t be done.”

Baul: “But! There’s also the matter of Lord Ryūgan. Don’t trust strangers! It’s best to be careful.”

Lilia: “Lord Levan of Ryūgan, huh……”

Lilia: “If he had returned safely, we wouldn't have gone to the eastern fortress to run errands.”

Lilia: “That couple has been working me extra since I was a child.”

Notes:

Siiigh… Again, I apologize for any mistakes. I seem to be having some trouble with Lilia’s lines. I feel like I’m struggling a lot more right now than I sometimes do. I don’t blame the writing. It’s definitely me and my lack of comprehension.

Anyways, about Malleus’s dad…or, rather, his title. I left it the way the furigana was written, but I’m not entirely sure how to translate it. My app translated it as “longan”, and several online dictionaries stated this, but I’m still not sure. Kanji wise, it reads as dragon/imperial, eyeball, and public/prince/official/governmental according to Jisho. Until we get an official translation, I will leave it as so.