#Bruce Wayne being tired af

[deadsetobsessions]

Summonings

Ever since Danny Phantom became the Ghost King, he’s had to deal with an endless amount of crap. An eternity of it, actually, and it was constantly causing him unending amount of existential crises and stress.

First, there was the paperwork. Pariah Dark, the incompetent asshole, had left him decades worth of bureaucracy to painfully sift through. He ended up hiring some ghosts with paperwork obsessions to sort some of that out. Who knew ruling the infinite realms would require this much paperwork? He’s lucky each section of the underworld had their own systems to report to their own rulers who, in turn, report to him.

Secondly, there were the Observers. And other ghosts, like his own rogues, but they were the main issues. Eyeball menaces. They protested his appointment, something he actually agreed with. Putting a fifteen year old on the throne is rarely a smart decision. But the Infinite Realm values strength, the only type of currency that matters in the land of the gods and the dead. Danny? Phantom? He’s got strength in spades. With only a few months of being a ghost, Danny had managed to defeat Pariah Dark, who had cowered gods and struck fear into the hearts of ghost heroes.

But Danny hasn’t quite realized the significance of that yet, too focused on the realization that he was about to be in charge of the infinite realms. The Observants, since his reluctant and extremely limited coronation, has been up his ass about doing things the “proper way.”

Danny’s main problem lies with the ridiculous amount of paperwork though. It’s fine. Tedious. But fine.

But if he gets one more fifteen page essay style complaint form about some guy named Constantine, Danny might seriously reconsider donning Dan’s ruthlessness and offing the guy himself. Perhaps grab the man by his shoulders and shake him like a rag doll and ask who the fuck told him it was a good idea to sell his soul out like that? Danny eventually just sent out Skulker to hunt down the contracts and trade minor services for them. He owns most of the soul now, and perhaps he’ll hunt this guy down and force him to do paperwork.

Regardless, paperwork was just often tedious. He’s worked out a system for himself. The halfa, true to his teenage form, had better things to be doing. His homework, for one. Hanging out with his friends and logging in hours for Doomed 2 would be another. But no, he’s here, twirling a pen as he glared down at a stack of forms for a zone expansion. What the fuck does Zeus want to expand his zone for? The current share space of the sky domain is literally a perfect balance with respect towards the other gods. For the love of- Danny slams down a red ‘REJECTED’ stamp on top of the stack. His hair flickers wildly in annoyance, the iced over Crown floating above his head emitting concerning levels of frost. To anyone else but himself, of course.

He then feels a soft tug on his core.

Right. The third most annoying thing about becoming King: the fucking summoning. Danny taps his pen against his lips, clicking it against his fangs, as he considers the summoning circle that calls him. Huh. Desperation. Mildly bloody. Fear. Resignation- ah, fuck it, it’s not like he’s too enthusiastic about staying to do work with the Observers poking around. He takes the summoning, allowing his regalia to overtake his normal hazmat-clad form, and approves the summoning.

Oh hey, Danny thinks he recognizes that ugly ass trenchcoat.

—-

John Constantine has had more than enough practice summoning things that would give people nightmares. But there are things he normally refuses to touch, refuses to even entertain the idea of trying. As usual, desperation made John its bitch and the Justice League’s battered and bruised faces tugged on his shriveled heart.

He’s going to summon something from the Infinite Realms. Oh, but he wasn’t just summoning any old ghost. No, he thought, I’m just going to summon the one being that’s guaranteed to be able to crush our universe without breaking a sweat. Bollocks.

“Is it ready?”

“Untwist your pants, spooky,” John snaps, wishing he had a crate of whiskey he could down. “We’re trying to summon the Ghost King, not your average demon.”

“What do we know about him?” Batman’s gravelly voice demanded.

“Powerful enough to take us all out without even breaking a sweat. Defeated the bloody tyrant who ruled over the Realms last I heard.”

“That’s it?”

“You could ask Deadman, but I heard he’s on the outs with the Infinite Realms on the fact that he’s made of pure magic, not ectoplasm.”

“There’s no guarantee the king will work with us.” Zatanna says, pressing her fingertips together tiredly. She had been at the forefront of the battle and had paid the price for it. “But he’s supposedly more benevolent than his predecessor… and we’re out of options.”

“Hm.”

“Just make sure to shut up and let me do the talking.”

“Hn.”

John rolls his eyes and takes a fortifying breath, something that does not go unnoticed by the League. They all tense up, preparing themselves for a battle. Another one, seeing as they all got their ass kicked by a ghost only ten hours ago. The League is spread thin, running interference to distract the ghost in question and evacuating civilians.

John Constantine started chanting, the glow of his magic lighting up the circle as he spills his blood into the circle.

He waits, heart in his throat, for the summoning to work.

“Is it supposed to take-” Red Robin asks, only to cut himself off as the circle flares once more. Power pulsates outwards from the circle. Frost crackles on the frost resistant floors, spreading outwards as a green portal rips open the fabric of time and space. Long, spindly imitations of a hand grabs the edges of space and pulls, heaving the rest of his celestial body out of the tear in reality. John does not look away. He can not look away, not from the eerie green pallor of the King, not from his torrential white wisps of hair, not from the black-hole like material of his outfit, not from the nebulas and beginnings and endings tailored onto the King’s cape. John could not look away from the ice crown that floated like a bastion of power above the king’s head.

His mouth is dry. What price will he have to pay to save the world? What price will this being demand of him, of the Justice League, to save the world?

John desperately needs that drink.

—-

Oh! He’s in his home dimension! His core purrs at coming home, at the close proximity to his first haunt.

He was expecting cultists, or even the Winchesters again, but this is nice.

The Justice League- summoning him. Sam and Tucker are going to flip when they hear about this.

They’ve been staring at him in silence for a bit now. It was getting awkward.

“Why have you summoned me?” He asks, softening his tone. By their winces, he didn’t get it as well as he thought. Danny grimaces. At the first sign of discomfort though, the man in the trenchcoat- is that fucking Constantine?!- launches into a nerve filled tirade.

“Your, uh, Majesty.” He starts. “One of… One of your subjects is wreaking havoc on the world. We would be extremely grateful if… if you could reign him in?”

Danny’s face sours, only to quickly clear his expression as he realized how much even a small hint of displeasure causes the jumpiness in Constantine and the others.

“To do that, I will have to make a contract with you, seeing as you’ve summoned me.” Danny drawls, letting his overly long digits wave at the summoning circle in question. He could break it, of course, but Danny’s bored and trying to draw this out. He’s not saying he’d take a batch of cookies as payment but that’s exactly what he’s saying.

“The price… you could always have my soul?”

Danny pauses. “Your… soul?”

Oh, he did not say what he just said.

“Yes. My soul.”

Oh, he did.

Fuck it. Danny’s flashbacks of suffering through the reports pushes green into his irises and urgency to his action.

He breaks out of the circle, hands lunging and gripping Constantine’s jaw tightly. Danny ignores the shouts of alarm as he allows the thrown weapons to pass through him.

John Constantine is panicking now, struggling in the air as Danny lifts him an inch off the floor in agitation.

Good.

“Your soul, little wizard? The one you’ve split eight ways till the thirtieth of February? The one that caused,” he tightens his grip, no doubt bruising the man. “An insane amount of paperwork that I’ve had to suffer through. Your soul, John Constantine?”

Danny hisses his name. The man makes a warbling noise that Danny takes as acknowledgement. Danny bats away the weak spell Zatanna sends at him with a hand.

“You’ll find that I am in the possession of most of your soul contracts. To simply put,” he grins, teeth made of dying stars on display. “I own your soul. My soul, now.”

He drops the wizard who collapses onto his knees to stare up at him in horror, eyes flicking between the circle that was meant to contain him and Danny, who is very much not contained. He crouches down- something necessary but disjointed as he’s not used to this taller form- and speaks to Constantine in a slow, dead serious, drawl.

“If you ever sell your soul again, you and I are going to have issues. Is that clear, John Constantine?”

“Uh- yeah, yes, yes, your majesty.”

Patting his cheek condescendingly, Danny gets up and sighs, stress relieved. He’s starting to feel bad, though, so he allows his form to ripple back to his normal teenage Phantom self.

“Well, it’s not like anyone will buy it, since they know they’ll have to go against me.” He chirps, flipping 180 from his terror inducing eldritch voice. “So, what’ll you pay me to get rid of whatever ghost you’ve got?”

“…. Nothing?”

Red Robin holds out a bag, eyebags betraying his exhaustion. “I’ve got fifty dollars and a bag of cookies.”

Phantom beams at him. “Throw in a couple of autographs and you’ve got a deal.”

“That’s- yeah, okay.” Red Robin says, inching forward cautiously to hand him the bag.

“Great. I’ll be back for them later. You can call me Phantom. ‘Your Majesty’ gets annoying after a while.”

“Thank- thank you for your mercy, Your- Phantom.” Wonder Woman says.

“Sure. Make sure this idiot doesn’t make any more deals with demons while I’m out, yeah?”

With that, Danny Phantom grabs the bag of cookies and fifty dollars and flies through the wall to do his job.

John slams his head onto the space station floor.

“Fuck.”

—-

Danny: lol I’ll do it for the shits and giggles

Constantine and the League: he’s terrifying, a bastion of pure power and authority

Red Robin, Young “we commit war crimes bc it gets shit done” Justice leader and fellow gremlin: he’d probably do it for cookies. I would.

[theglidingbat]

There's a sever lack of ghostbat content and I need that to be fixed

Honestly I've been reading a lot of "bruce Wayne is not batman but his kids are still vigilantes and he's a doctor fic"

But like, what if he still went through all the training and shit like till about he gets that angsty ass break up with khoa and decides to call it quits. He goes to med school instead and becomes a doctor hiding away his trianing and shit.

I know damm well Minhkhoa went to his med school to convince him join the training being insanely disappointed that bruce chose to be a sane person.

Minhkhoa khan does not give up by the way

Finally they get into a big sparring match which bruce manges to barely win out of and they make the deal of khoa leaving gotham alone and bruce not meddling wherever his sets his camps bla bla bla

Years later minhkhoa gets the word that there's new vigilantes running around in Gotham and they're Bruce's childern

He comes to Gotham to check it out and baiscally annoys the shit out of the Gotham knights until the hero's of Gotham witness what they they was their "normal civilian doctor dad" beat the shit out of this vigilante pulling all sorts of moves while they just watch shocked.

Even better if khoa is back with bruce and the kids think that their poor father has no idea BUT NOPE

Bruce is well aware and he's more aware of his kids running around in spandex and kevlar [minhkhoa laughed at him as he a mental breakdown about it]

Bruce is also well aware that his childern are stubborn af and eventually stops trying to get them to give up without hinting he already knows.

Also the idea of batman or vigilante bruce only appearing once to save his kids or to beat khoa's ass is amazing.

The kids (escpically dick and Jason who only know the med school stuff) try to scare away minhkhoa and eventually tell their dad everything

Only to be led with a blank stare and a "is that all?" As Bruce sips his coffee in classic Tired dadtm fashion

I also just want doctor bruce patching up his vigilante boyfriend and scolding him for being care less only for khoa to scoff and go "you were and are much worse"

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

Not an unpopular opinion: if the Nolanverse Batman did have baby Dick Grayson let’s say around 7-8 yes old it would’ve strucked audiences a lot more with Bruce being a tired af dad to this violent little sunshine child. All I want is one Batman movie with good Batdad is that too much to ask for

I know it wouldn't work within the timeline of the nolanverse, but I'd love to see that specific Batman with Damien as his Robin. Or Jason. Either would be a great foil to this very serious Batman. And just Bruce Wayne starts showing up to board meetings with apparently new found son who sits in a chair in the corner playing Roblox on a tablet Lucius gave him.

[collectivefandomstuff]

Mom my bio dad is being foolish again. We always have this argument about the number of Robins. He says there was only one and that was Dick. I say four, even though it's like six if you count Steph and Carrie, but I count the main boys since most people know who they are. Anyway, no matter what I do I can't convince my dad that there's more than one and that the title gets passed down. Any ideas or should I just accept that my dad doesn't want anything to happen to his precious originals? I rather not accept defeat but oh well.

Oh but this is spectacular. Don’t argue, just wholeheartedly embrace it! There were no other robins; only Dick Grayson.

Jason Todd? Dick walking on his knees in a trenchcoat.

Tim Drake? Dick in a wig.

Stephanie Brown? Blonde wig padded bra.

Damian Wayne? Dick crouching with a sword.

That’s why they so rarely interact in canon; because whenever two or more robins meet it’s just Dick running back and forth putting on different disguises.

Red Hood nearly killing Red Robin? Dick in a wig beating himself up a la that one scene from fight club. (not to mention the battle for the cowl)

In multiple-Robin hostage situations Dick gets out of his cuffs/rope just so he can change his persona and then puts them on again.

Dick as Batman has a cape with yellow lining so he can just flip it and become robin and answer his own quips.

When Red Hood appeared Dick and Bruce watched as Dick with padded clothes and plateau boots went on a rampage and Dick was like “who could it be?”

Everyone plays along even though he fools absolutely no one except Clark who’s like “different hair different person has always been my motto”

Everytime one of the Robins becomes old enough to stop being a side-kick Dick just invents a new one like “yes, I am now a small violent child. Teach me stuff” and Bruce is like “fine but only because I need someone to mentor” and Dick, tired af, is like “I know”.

[justcourttee]

Mari and dami would make tiktoks of them pranking each other

Prank War

I wasn’t really sure how to write this, but I imagine it has to go something like this lol

-It totally starts off as something innocent. Marinette was tired and accidentally used tablespoons instead of teaspoons of salt in her new cookie recipe. (it’s an insane difference, I wouldn’t recommend)  And she’s totally the type of tiktoker to post her trials with the batfamily being judges.

-Anyways, Damian is the only one she can find for the day, and she really needs to upload content so she begs him to film solo. 

-She catches the whole reaction, from the excitement in his eyes to the instant distaste at the mouthful of salt.

-He definitely is over dramatic af (will claim later that it was just an act) and shouts something stupid like “are you trying to poison me heathen? Did Tim pay you?”

-Marinette still uploads it.

-A million likes overnight. Everybody excited that their favorite baker started an all out prank war with Ice King, Damian Wayne.

-Tim and Jason rub it in Damian’s face all week that he got bested by Marinette, who wasn’t even trying. He decides he has to even the score, then everyone will get off his back about it.

-The next morning, Damian replaces Marinette’s OJ with his own special concoction. He waits until she takes her first sip, immediately spitting it back into the cup

-“Is that powdered cheese? Oh, Gods.”

-Damian smiles smugly as he ends the video, posting it immediately to his newly created account. 

-It takes exactly two hours for Marinette to figure out who did it after the video popped up on her fyp.

-She declares an all out war. 

-Several months pass with harmless pranks between the two of them. Bruce is so happy to see Damian so engaged with someone his own age, doing something his own age. He has no complaints. 

-The others that had been caught in the cross fire had different feelings. 

-Every one has picked sides now, focusing all their attention on the opposite team, no one holding back. 

-Bruce only steps in after Damian steps out of his shower, completely dyed purple from neck to toes. He forces them to post a joint TikTok calling off the prank war. 

-Thousands of messages flooded their video begging them to come back or at least announce who won, fights breaking out as to whether it was Team Sunshine (Marinette) or Team Ice King (Damian).

-After several days, Damian approaches Marinette with his head hung, mumbling under his breath. When she finally convinces him to speak up, his eyes are filled with a mischievous light that she had only ever witnessed from Jason.

-“Father does not know much about social media, but he does know out screen names. What if you turn your account back into a baking one and we start a joint account to continue this war?”

-Marinette is shocked, but readily agrees. After all, the fans weren’t the only ones unsure of who won. 

-Together, they sit down, filming an intro video for their new account, explaining the situation. It takes a couple days, but their followers slowly shift over.

-Everyone in the Batfam is buzzing with excitement, unsure of which team will strike first. 

-They get their answer only a week later when Marinette bites into a mayonnaise filled eclair, Damian nearly doubled over laughing as she ran to the sink trying to rinse out the flavor. 

-As he posts the video, he tags Marinette in the caption along with the seemingly innocent phrase:

“May the odds be ever in your favor.”

Permanent Tag List:

@ash-amg @rebecarojas07 @heaven428 @long-lost-peace @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @moongoddesskiana @nach0ava @iamablinkmarvelarmy @seraphkitty @clumsy-owl-4178 @pawsitivelymiraculous @mialuvscats @leagrey @smolplantmum @animegirlweeb

[mysticprofessoralienhumanoid]

Maribat ideas I will probably never write

Now, before we start.

I realize that those may have already been made but I've never seen them and everything here came from my mind. But if you remember the titles, please tell me them or send a link to the stories, I'd love to read them.

This can be whatever ship you want Connorette, Daminette, Cassandra x Marinette, Brucinette... Any ship.

Here I'll refer to them just as the bats or one of the bats, or just choose a random one of them simply because I don't know the exact person that'd fit in the au with Marinette so I'm just leaving it up to you but... yeah.

[And yes, I know I said it could be Connor or Jon or anyone else, and I know they are not part of Batclan but for the lack of better word, just roll with it]

Yes, you can use any of them, but please tag me (i really want to read what you came up with) and include the link to my post so maybe someone else could use any other of these.

And if want to add anything or just brainstorm in the comments I'd love to do it with you, so don't be shy and say what you think (constructive critism only).

Maybe i will update this, but for now feel free to use any of these over 20 (i think at least) ideas I came with in these past 2 weeks cuz i was bored.

And before you start, I'm thinking of making mafia boss! Marinette AU, but i don't know what ship it should be... Suggestions? (Just not the love square please)

Hope you like it.

-------------------------------------------------------

Violinist Marinette. The Waynes got invited to a concert in which Mari played a solo. And they're all just enchanted with her talent.

Marinette a Badass Dancer. None of the bats is a dancer in this AU and I don't really have any direction where this would go, but i just had a scene where she kicks their asses even though she doesn't have much (or any) exprience in martial arts. Just her spinning and kicking one of them mid-spin in the face or... somewhere else...

So the scene is a Wayne Gala, right? Jagged Stone dares Marinette to sing a song on a stage (there’s live music band, i guess?). Everyone’s mesmerised by her voice and Jagged can be heard screaming “That’s my niece!” in the backround. I really want her to sing Creep , a cover by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox ft. Haley Reinhart or Crazy in Love , also a cover made by Sofia Karlberg, though any other song is fine too

Bats and Marinette in a band. That's it. That's the whole AU.

One of the bats is sitting under a tree, all peacefully and relaxed, but then they look up to see a random girl with dark blue hair (??) just hanging upside down from a branch like an actual freaking bat. She gives them a heart attack.

Another Au with singing Marinette lol. In this one Marinette likes to sing in a park every other day and Damian comes here one day and hears her and is like “wow.”, and since then he comes there everyday in hopes of hearing her sing and getting her number. And maybe Luka or Adrien play while she sings, that’d be cool

Guys, Marinette and the Waynes being neighbours. No, but imagine. Them seeing some girl watering plants every week for a month or two and then not seeing her for a long period of time, and they're kinda worried, but then she's back and they're confused, because where the hell she'd been, the house looked like not used and just where the hell was she? Marinette seeing some... Weird things happening in the Wayne backyard. Balconies being in front of each other, so they're balcony neighbours too (the romance, the fluff, even the angst, guys). Marinette going to them with baked goods and introducing herself as their neighbour. Them going to hers and welcoming her with a basket of Alfred's cooking. 

Jason has to participate in a dating show because he lost a bet and Mari's one of the participants too...

Duke needs a date to a wedding (i don't know whose, your choice) and Marinette's his best friend, so be my fake date to this wedding?

Marinette as Tim's daughter??

The greatest showman AU. (Sibling dickinette. On the trapeze-)

Forget rouges, superheroes and vigilantes. Underground dancers. Because it's what i need, y'all

So in this, WE is a dance company, and Marinette's maybe an intern in a fashion department. One day Dick's going to one of the practice rooms where's been scheduled a meeting with a designer for his costume for the next show. Instead he's met with a girl he sees for the first time, practically flying on the dance floor. Just as he's about to reveal himself the rest comes and it turns out this is the fashion designer and it seems as no one knows she's an amazing dancer too

Teachers AU + Rivals AU = utter chaos. Them teaching the same subject and competing for their class' loves and/or arguing whose close is better. [Bonus points if everyone's thinking they hate each others guts, but they're secretly dating]

Fencers AU - on the same team on different teams, your choice. (And this honestly suits with Kagami too. I'm up for kagami x bat/marinette)

Damian in the park with Mar'i, but he's having trouble, because this kid has so much energy. How?? Just when he thinks he can take a breath, he notices Mar'i has wandered off and is talking to a young woman, so he rushes there and try to apologize, but she says it's no problem at all. Suddenly this gorgeous girl offers him her help. It looks like Mar'i has taken liking to her and he's so tired, so he agrees and for the rest day watches two Mari's play together and falls in love with the older one. Plotwist: this was plan all along. Mar'i is the ultimate wingwoman.

All the Wayne siblings decided to go to one of those haunted houses for a halloween and there's this petite girl who tagged along their group somehow. They didn't expect to see this tiny girl punching the worker dressed as a monster and knocking the daylight out of him. But it was so worth getting kicked out.

Marinette's a ghost and these four men came to her house and apparently they're doing a ghost investigation?? I mean, she was getting a bit lonely and bored, maybe it's time to "gain some friends" (read: scare the living out of them).

Pretty much the above but with bat/s as ghost/s and Marinette as the paranormal investigator with her team (i honestly want one of them to be Kagami, i don't know why). In both you need to decide who's a skeptic and who believes. It's fun, the ghost is trying to scare them off, but they're stubborn.

Sibling dickinette where Marinette calls her older brother everytime she wants to get out of a date and so he pretends to "arrest" her. (And then maybe dick decides to play a matchmaker and sets her up with one of his adoptive siblings)

Marinette as a lawyer. Her going against LexCorps who framed Wayne Enterprises for something. Or maybe Bruce was accused of murder (that he obviously did not commit) and now she has to prove his innocence. I just really want to read about badass lawyer Marinette, guys

Merlin AU. Is there any AUs with Marinette being Merlin and saving Arthur's ass (I honestly think it should be Chloe, no joke)?

Mominette where she adopts Cassandra. I just imagined them going to ballet lessons together and cooking and now I'm soft.

Marinette got dared by her friends to set a trap for the passerby that involved eggs, toy train and glitter and to then to pretend they're her ex and they cheated in her, and Jason had the misfortune to be that passerby. (Yes, this is probably crack lol)

Tim can rap. Marinette can rap. What could go wrong?? (Yes, this is probably crack too)

There's this girl they see every year when to go on trick-or-treating and she always has the most amazing or scariest costumes. But Damian will not go without a fight and so every year they compete over who has the better costume. This year they just so conveniently dressed up as the famous Halloween couple.

Jon is 17 now and it seems as no one is interested in him. He jokingly tells Damian he supects theres a ghost that's in love with him and they keep away any potential lovers from him. He doesn't know how much he's right. Marinette though, is freaking out.

Marinette decided to take a part-time job at a local pool as a life guard. There's a sudden increase in people coming to said pool but also a dramatic increase in people pretending to drown. Conner is one of them.

Marinette plays a therapist to all of the batfam. The amount of the ridiculous problems she had to listen to... She could write a book and she would make millions out of it, she swears.

"Some say "revenge is a dish best served cold.", then i read "revenge is sweet", so i came to conclusion revenge is ice cream." Huh, so that'd explain the sudden disappearance of ice cream in whole Gotham Jason had been hearing about for the past week from Bruce. The question is, what that petite bluenette is planning to do and who is going to be a victim of her ice cream revenge?

Tim had been in coma for a month after the drug bust, and he has just woken up. The first thing he does? He picks up the argument he and Marinette had been having before he's been put into a coma.

The couple at the place Jason had been at, started making out loudly, so he started making loud noises while eating his ice cream. They stopped. And he got this cute barista's phone number when she was walking past him.

Marinette's at the spa when she overhears two guys betting who can eat more slices of cucumber (that were supposed to be put on their eyelids) and she decided to participate. Safe to say they were all banned from all the spas in Gotham

Can i please get Jason/Duke/anyone making up a bedtime story for Marinette after she woke up from a nasty nightmare? I need it

Every morning and night Marinette pretends to be asleep just so she can feel Damian pull her closer, kiss her temple and whisper how much he loves her

Roy listening to Jason complaining about each first encounter of her girlfriend with his siblings and Bruce. Each is more ridiculous than the one before. He listens to it, after he and Marinette had gone through their own weird af first meeting.

Dick was so busy laughing at the bluenette who'd just walked into a post, he ran into the same post minute later. She asked him out... After she finished laughing and telling him karma's a bitch

Dick likes to think he's the reason Jason and Marinette got married. To his last days he will brag about how at his and Kori's wedding Marinette caught the bouquet, tripped and Jay caught her.

Jason asked Marinette on a date to one of the restaurant the WE owned. Then as a test, he told her he couldn't pay for all the expensive dishes they ordered. She took his hand and they ran out of the building. He's convinced he's going to marry her.

[yicruz48]

Serious Asks

|| Discussions | Reviews | Fun Asks || 

|| Get to Know Damian Wayne ||

ATTENTION: Currently my ask box is closed (I’m concentrating on University right now)) so I won’t be taking questions for a while. 

ALTHOUGH, when I have time, I’ll let you know when you can submit questions (I’ll give you a 2-3 day window to submit), SO PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR THOSE POSTS. 

People have asked me where else they can ask questions while I am less active, here are other Damian Stan accounts you can ask questions to. 

-> The Teen Titans Rebirth run wou-ld be so much more enjoyable if the core three (Damian, Emiko, Wallace) were…[HERE] . 

-> Thanks for the rant because I’m getting tired of the way DC treats Damian…[HERE]. 

-> Do you still consider the Super Sons, the same dynamic dual they were after Jon was aged up?…[HERE].

-> How I would’ve handled Damian’s destruction in Teen Titans…[HERE].

-> Hey, what did you see in Adam Glass’ instagram? :ooo I am really curious (and worried af)…[HERE].

-> Do you think that Leviathan: Checkmate being indefinitely postponed has any relevance to Damian losing his Robin title or was impacted by DC’s future plans for Damian?…[HERE].

-> So I think I’m the person who’s message got accidentally erased. So what I was saying is I hate this evil Damian Arc because antis are just going to use this to “prove” that he is a brat and he is evil when in reality it’s super ooc...[HERE].

-> What on earth do you think the synopses for Teen Titans #46 and #47 mean with Jon coming back to ask questions about Damian then 'abandoning' TT?...[HERE].

-> To make things more confusing, in that scene in NW #73...[HERE].

-> I don't understand what DC has against Damian? destroying all the development he had in those years and the relationship of father and son with Bruce just to make him a village even though there are a lot of fans who don't want it, what do they get out of it?...[HERE]. 

[we-want-mini-mini]

Since I have no self restraint, I’m writing another prompt/one shot.

Essentially, normal girl Lia (or some OC) whose a big fan of DC comics and the like ends up in a weird inter dimensional accident and ends up in the DC universe (it can be a mix of canon because fuck canon, up to you).

But, where did Lia end up exactly? Fucking Gotham.

The moment she realizes this is decides: Nope. Nah. Nada. No sir-y. This is NOT happening. Fuck this. I might end dying, or, worse, BECOME A FUCKING MAIN CHARACTER IN THE BAT CLAN. NAH. HELL NO.

Lia decides that, no, she will not involve herself in the Bat Clan/Wayne’s at all. Nope. Nah. Too much drama. Too much angst. Too much fucking skin tight suits and my poor Pan heart can’t TAKE all the HOT, RIPPED hero’s like what the fuck.

Now, this can play out in a variety of ways:

Lia is, say, around the same age as one of the Batboys. It can be any of them, up to you. Now, she some how ends up in Gotham Acdemy and begrudgingly befriends them. Cue angst (especially if its Jason. Considering in canon, if Jason survives he becomes Red Robin thats all I know lmao). If Lia is friends with the second Robin, it’d bring up the deliemma of: does she tell him that he’s gonna fucking die and then come back to life. Oh and, she’s actually from an alternate world were everyone thats like a superhero/vigilante is a fictional character. Honestly, if done well, can definitely stir the feelings of the poor saps who read the moral deliemma of Lia. Now, who is Lia? Someone who doesn’t want to get involved. If she avoids Jason in the beginning, does she have doubts and wants to warn Batman of Jason impending death or not? Like, that sort of shit panic attack inducing. There’s a lot of things you guys can do to torture not only Lia, but also the readers who might be like: “TELL HIM! TELL HIMMMMM!!!” or, “fuck, even I don’t know what I’d do” and etc. There’s a lot of leeway.

They are grown, and are in college (let’s say the events of Death in The Family happened and everything surrounding Red Robin striking out to find Bruce whose lost in time). This Lia is much older, recently graduated from college and currently interns for Wayne Enterprises. See, Lia is just another intern in a global colgomerate cooperation, there’s no way she’d ever run into any of the Wayne’s. None at all. But. But. She does. Some how she becomes the Executive Assistant to Tim (he once saw how she managed an entire fucking department’s schedule even though a group of people spontaneously quit. She was able to somehow salvage that shit in under three hours. And, Tim might or might not have fallen slightly in love with her—). Lia, now, a fresh 20-something year old, is now the Executive Assistant to another 20-something year old who happened to run one of the most rich and powerful companies in the entire world holy shit. Now, we follow the adventures of Lia, whose now one of the most powerful persons in the entire company (and proxy the world, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️). Lia, let’s say, is a fucking god at manipulating people, making connections, accounting and management, and also a Very Tired Recently Graduate of GU. She, cannot, and will not deal with the constant bullshit that the Bats pull regularly. So, Lia can either passive aggressively hint that, yeah Tim, you definitely got that broken arm from a golf accident. Oh hey, I also heard the Red Robin foughy Killer Croc and also sported a broken left arm like you! What a coincidence, right? And she’d say this with a straight face. Tim knows that she knows, and Lia knows that Tim knows and yeah. Alternatively, she could outright tell him: “look, Tim, I swear to god, if you put off another meeting without a day notice just because some gang member got the better of you.” “Wait, gang member—?” “—do NOT interrupt me. Look, I know Bruce Wayne is Batman. Not the whole, ‘Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person! The butts match!’ type of thing. I know he is Batman, you Red Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Red Hood is the weirdly alive Jason Todd, etc etc. There’s no point in feigning the fact that I don’t know. Because, I do.” They stare at eachother for a bit, and Tim falls just a little more in love. “How... Actually it’s dumb to ask you how you know, but, how long?” “Good tactic to ask me how long I’ve know instead of how I know. But, to answer your question: I’ve know since I was around...” THE FRAME FREEZES now, should Lia say 8, since, technically, she’s know since she was 8 that Bruce Wayne is Batman, considering the whole parallel universe thing. Or, does she say 18, the age in which she arrived into this world? Now, that decision can prompt many things to happen. For one, if Lia says 8, Tim is gonna be so awestruck and also be dry curious. If 18, Tim is still amazed (that she knows at all). Either answer would also illicit this response: “...you’ve known for so long, yet never told anyone?” Lia shakes her head. “You guys have a secret identity for a reason. Plus, I’m not in the business of becoming a vigilante or whatever. I’ve tried my best to steer clear of all of that, in all honesty.” “Huh. Makes sense. Wait. Then... why did you start working at WE, if you knew our identities?” Lia stares at him like he’s grown three heads. “Dude. This is WE. One of the most powerful companies out there, why wouldn’t I work here? But, the ither fact of the matter is that I didn’t expect to become your fucking Executive Assistant. Like, I couldn’t just deny the offer, my mother would’ve disowned my ass the second she heard I turned down such a prestigious position.” Lia shuddered. “Fuck, I can hear her curse me out in like, five different languages.” Let’s also say, at one point or another, Lia’s mother arrives, and say, is the most terrifying person Tim has ever met (and Tim’s faced off against Ra’s al Ghul, a functionally immortal man with a fucking army of highly trained assassin at his disposal).

Lia is tame honest to god tame compared to her mother (if her mother is like, 5’3”, that’s even more hilarious tbh). Essentially, if Lia’s older and somehow become Executive Assistant to Tim (or Bruce, because, fuck canon) it would be so god damn funny (read “The Executive Assistant To Batman” in which Tim nene became Robin but still knows the identities of the various Gotham vigilantes. Oh, and, he’s the Executive Assistant to Batman. It’s so fucking hilarious and y’all gotta check it out. It’s on AO3).

Number 2, is a lot more light hearted compared to the moral deliemma of Number 1 (as, is Lia is the same age as Robin!Jason, and knows that he’s gonna die, but she also doesn’t want to get involved with the vigilantes presents a very large problem). Number 1 is great for angst and a character study for this OC. Number 2, is a more light hearted, fun scenario (as it avoids the can of worms called “Do I Warn the Bats of Robin!Jasons impending death or not because I honestly don’t want to get involved with the Bat.”.

I, personally, would love to read Number 2 (please make Lia, or whatever OC, a god damn Tired of Your Bullshit, amazing assistant to the CEO of WE, competent af and very, Very Tired of the Bats BS, and, PR is Going To Skin Me Alive and Roast Me Over A Flame). Maybe some drama, angst sprinkled in (there’s the blatant fact that, Lia is a completely different world. One that has superhero’s, aliens, magic and so, so much more. The fact that she’s in her doppelgänger’s body could cause some dissociation/body dysphoria and that sort of stuff. It’s a great opportunity for a character study for Lia/your OC).

Regardless of you choose 1 or 2, the basic premise is:

Some rando kid (or young adult, whichever strikes your fancy) who loves to read Batman/DC in general. Ends up in some weird ass accident that lands them in the DC universe, specifically Gotham. Everything about their pervious life and the life in his world is the same (or not, up to you), only difference is that there’s an alien powered by the Sun and that cannot he injured (unless it’s by a glowing green rock). They decide, pretty early on, that they want nothing to do with the vigilantes of Gotham (which also means they have to avoid the Wayne’s and Co, which should be ways right? Right?? Gotham is really big, I’ll probably only ever see them in passing, I’ll be fine—). But, the universe said, LOL, nope. And they end up befriending the Wayne’s somehow. The rest? Up to you. If they befriend Robin!Jason they have to cope with the moral deliemma of getting involved to save his life or not. Or, maybe this is the world where Dick is still Robin. Do we save Jason early on, or not? What about Tim? Cass? Stephanie? Or, what if, they end up in a world in which Jason died and came back, Bruce came back from being lost in the time stream and Damian is now Robin.

Essentially: OC ends up in the DC universe, specifically Gotham. Decided not to ever get in involved with the Vigilantes/Wayne’s. However, the universe said nope and they become friends with one of the Bats/Waynes regardless. Now, how the fuck do they cope?

BONUS: Lia manages to avoid the Wayne’s/Vigilantes of Gotham completely. How? She ends working for LexCorp. As Lex Luthors Executive Assistant (basically the same way as she became the Executive Assistant to Tim). Now, she has to cope with the fact that she works as the Executive Assistant for Lex fucking Luthor of all people. She can hear her mother shaking her head in Disappointment™️. She hates the universe. Also, Lex Luthor is pretty open about his Evil, Bastard Schemes with Lia for whatever reason (much to Lia’s utter fucking chargin). She discreetly sends info about these Evil, Bastard, Devious plans to the Bats. Cue her realizing that, to ensure Luthor doesn’t suspect her, she’s gotta get GOOD at hacking and computer science. And get good she does. Like, her utter fucking Done-ness over Luthors Supervillain ways and her wanted to never be found out by the Bats is like taken to Infinty in the 10 dial scale. Somehow, she manages to both avoid suspicion from Luthor (cue intense moments in which Luthor is talking to her, and he’s speaking in a weird direct way that makes Lia think he found out and she mentally plans for her subsequent “death” and fleeing of the country and when Luthor finishes his sentences it just him praising her or something else innocuous. Lia felt like the sun was lifted off her shoulders.) She’s always on edge. Her hair is slowly turning grey. Luthor notices and makes a comment and Lia simply laughs while making a underhand comment about how Luthors bald so he doesn’t need to deal with greying hairs. Lia stops laughing realizing oh shit I just insulted my boss in the most underhand way. What ghe fuck. But Luthor just laughs, much to Lia’s relief. Her hair is still greying from the stress. Anyways, she inadvertently becomes a techno vigilante that can rival the famed Oracle (let’s say, for the sake of this prompt, Lia’s code name is Reaper because she was drunk and apparently in the mind of her 13 year old self when she came up with it). Reaper’s name is slowly growing, as Lia does some other stuff with her new found skills in hacking. She mostly helps the Bats by giving them crucial info on Luthors dealings and the like.

One day, she realizes, that, oh shit. I became the one thing swore I’d never become. What type of Shakespearean shit is my life—

If someone does the situation in which Lia/their OC becomes Luthor Executive Assistant and then inadvertently becomes a Vigilante themselves because, sure, they don’t want to get involved, but, fuck Luthor and Eat the Rich. Also, I would love it if said fic included the most stress inducing scenes were it seems like Luthor found out about Lia and the whole Reaper situation but he actually DIDN’T and Lia is here like, sweating god damn bucks while her hair slowly falls out. Please. Write this shit. It would be

✨Immaculate✨

Anyways, hope you like this prompt/one shot because I damn well enjoyed writing it!

[twi-sight2020]

Do People Really Do This?

So, after Edward offers to take Bella to Seattle, she’s all in her own little word and ends up late for class, Mike doesn’t sit with her in class, but he does meet her-along with Eric- after and blabs on forever about the trip to the Beach, nothing new until lunch when Edward motions for Bella to sit with him, which pretty much shocks the universe.

”As long as I’m going to hell I might as well do it thoroughly.”

Oh Edward, my drama queen.He continues with this for a while, telling her that he’s tired of staying away from her, giving up on it, etc. She ask if they are friends, he says he’s not a good friend and he’s waiting for her to figure that out and leave....this conversation will be had a few hundred more times during these books but it is interesting to see how earnestly he tried to persuade her to leave him...even when she had no clue what was going on.

He ask if she has anymore theories on what he is...she mentally thinks how she has gone back and forth between “Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker” and  , well in 2020 all i can see is RPatz Batman and I laugh for days.

Edward comments on how frustrating it is not to know what she is thinking, and Bella, Bless her, has another moment of being pretty damn great, being snarky af and commenting on how she “can’t imagine “ how frustrating someone being cryptic could be. He calls her out for having a temper and she-rightly- says it’s just about disliking double standards. Again, Bella is a hell of a lot smarter, snarkier, and more interesting than many give her credit for. 

Unfortunately, she also then has the “My stomach was full-of butterflies” line and I have to sigh because, I think we can all admit, that line was a bit cheesy. Like...Gouda levels. 

However, she does somewhat redeem herself by asking Edward to, you know, not be a dick, and warn her next time he plans on pushing her away.  Which, yea, it’s only fair. Because, it’s pretty damn shitty to just keep ditching her, regardless of how he

thinks

it’s for the right reasons. Edward agrees , but then wants her to tell him one of her theories, to which she suggest the radio active spider. He laughs a bit before the ‘What if I’m not the Hero, I’m the bad guy” line which...I actually really like.

I also like how she has the moment of realizing he is dangerous and that he has, indeed, tried to warn her, before she points out that he’s still not bad. Edward disagrees( because he gives Angel a run for his money in terms of vampire guilt trips, but Bella refuses to believe that.

Edward then says he’s skipping class for the day, but Bella is like , “Yea, no, I’m going, I’m way too chicken to skip.” Which, yea, same Bella, same.  Like, if I was going to skip class, I just skipped the whole day. Anyway, she gets to class and they are doing...blood typing.

Ok, honest question, did anyone actually do blood typing  in their High School Biology? I was in Honors Bio and we never did anything like this, and none of my friends in the regular classes ever mentioned this. Nor was this done in my Anatomy class or even Forensic Science. Like, I’m pretty sure my school would have been sued if they had students do activities where they had in injure themselves or deal with blood.

Bella gets faint at the sight of blood which, amuses the hell out of me. I have a friend like this who pretty much faints anytime she has to have blood works and yea, I laugh. #Badfriend. 

Mike offers to take her to the nurse and on the way there Bella...lays down...on the sidewalk. I...really have no words for the because she didn’t actually pass out...she just fetl faint and...LAID ON THE SIDEWALK. Like, who does this?  She’s more of a drama queen than Edward.

Edward see Bella and thinks she’s hurt which, who wouldn’t? SHE’S LAYING ON THE DAMN SIDEWALK. he ask if she can her him and she says “

No, go away.”

Which is pretty damn funny. Edward picks her up to take her to the nurse and she feels embarrassed , more so than LAYING ON THE DAMN SIDEWALK???  Edward walks off and leaves Mike, and then teases Bella about her blood phobia.

They get to the nurses office and in a moment Mike brings in another kid who fainted, Bella leaves because she says she can “smell the blood” Edwards says humans can’t, but Bella insist it’s the smell that makes her sick and Edward seems very intrigued. I, also am, tbh? Like we have this set up of Bella being able to smell blood, Edward can’t read her mind, it almost feels like there is something....unique about her but then...well, we’ll get into more of these things that kinda popped up in this book and seemed like it was leading somewhere and then it didn’t. 

Mike glares at Edward and is all “you like better” at Bella, being a lil jealous shit. Then he reminds of of the beach trip she’s supposed to join in, making it clear Edward isn’t invited. Of course, Bella does ask him to go, but Edward is like “Let’s....not make Mike snap. “ HAHAHAHA

Edwards gets Bella out of gym and she plans on driving home, but  Edward is like “Yea, no, you were laying on a sidewalk, not a chance you can drive.” Well, he was a bit nicer than that but... you get the idea.

They bond over Clair de Lune  and how her mom likes classic music. Which leads to them discussing her mother.We don’t get alot of info about Renee during this series, in fact the most description we get is probably right here when Bella informs us Renee is:

Prettier than her

More out going and brave than her

Irresponsible

Slightly eccentric

an unpredictable cook

and Bella’s best friend.

Which, I don’t...see. Sorry Bella, but my mom is one of my Best friends, and I talk to her and about her all the time. Even in college when I was living away from her she was still on my mind alot. Bella says it hurts to talk about her, but even in her thoughts, her mother is often absent unless something DIRECTLY effects her mom.

Edward then randomly ask Bella her age and then says she doesn’t seem seventeen. She remarks that her mom said she was born 35 years old. They then go a little more into how Her mother married a younger man and how Bella is still supportive as long as her mother is happy.

Edward has a whole moment of “”Would she extend the same courtesy to you?No matter who your choice was?” HA, cute, like you plan on ever letting her mother know what you are. -eye roll- they make some jokes about “No one too scary’ and Bella admits that she thinks he could be scary if he wanted to be.  She ask about his family and all we get are. His parents died so long ago he barely remembers them, and he loves Esme and Carlise.” Then she ask about his siblings and he says this “My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter...” And like....they made it a point in the book to say that the “official story” was that Jasper and Rosalie were twins  but ....were Edward, Emmett, and Alice supposed to be biological siblings? At least according to the town? Because otherwise wouldn’t he have called them all his siblings? 

Edward then tells Bella he and Emmett are going hiking this weekend, skipping school tomorrow. I know I’ve said this before, but HOW THE HELL DO THE CULLENS GET AWAY WITH SKIPPING SCHOOL THIS MUCH? Do they not have a truancy board in Forks???Or, was this something where Meyer livid that she just assumed all other schools allowed? I NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT? Edward then makes Bella promise not to get hurt while he’s gone and she gets pissy and slams the door on him, making this lil shit smirk as he drives off. Again, I know Bella is supposed to be accident prone and all, but ....it also kind feels like her luck is... well, they mention at some points how it was almost like her “number was up” and ...always struck me as a plot that went no where, but we’ll get more into that in the next few chapters. Until then,  Stay Safe

[onlyinmyimagination]

Love is Blind

Jason Todd X Reader

This did not turn out how I wanted at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe I’ll attempt a rewrite in the future but right now I am so tired of this story. I sincerely hope you guys like it more than I do. I’m so done.

Very loosely based on this prompt: “As a dating company professional, I never thought that I’d be able to match you with anyone because honestly, you’re such a terrible human being. But, in our search we found someone who fits your profile, and since you paid us to help you find a match, here is their information. God Help us.“

Also inspired by those social media au posts that float around the fandom. those are bomb af.

Genre: Romance, fluff I guess idk

Sorta social media au/celebrity au??? idk (someone tell me what kind of AU you think this is)

Warnings: Some foul language.

.

It started when Jason needed to quickly get a date to a launch party of some clothing brand by Wayne Enterprises (he never really cares for whatever new business venture Bruce Wayne busies himself with). He was supposed to glam it up with a partner at his side but he had put it off until the very last minute. His solution was to call up a reputable dating company because he simply didn’t have the time to screen the potential candidates on Tinder. And just like that, you were the dating professional assigned to him and he became your client.  

He hadn’t been the politest over the phone. He had been curt, a little aggressive, and much too particular about his preferences. Right away you knew he was trouble. But you resolved to do your best and stay professional. You had to compile his profile quickly and it was then that you found out that your newest client is a local celebrity. Hearing the name Jason Todd over the phone didn’t ring any bells at the time, but upon further research on your client you knew he’d be a challenge.

He had said he needed a date in less than a week and to his relief, you were able to meet him the next day with a potential match. Upon seeing your client in person you realized why his demands were so high. Not only is he the son of a billionaire, he’s also ridiculously good-looking and oddly intimidating. It must’ve been hard to find a suitable partner all by himself.

He had introduced himself, even though you knew very well who he was. He didn’t have as much attitude as he did over the phone, and he didn’t act as haughty as you expected him to be. With a practiced script and a customer service smile plastered on your lips, you invited him to sit at a nearby café while you reviewed the file of his potential partner with him.

He took the information with satisfaction and thanked you for your time. Unfortunately he didn’t last long with the match you found him, and you got another call from him a few weeks later. He needed another partner for an upcoming gala. And thus, the cycle continued to repeat itself, with your patience wearing thin and professionalism quickly dissipating with a few months. Before you met Jason Todd Wayne you’ve had a near perfect reputation, with an almost one hundred percent success rate with your clients. But he was ruining your reputation and it upset you tremendously.

“Jason, did you seriously ditch her last night?”

“It’s not what you think!”

“What do you...” you pause to take a deep breath and calm yourself.  You continue, “You literally ditched her at a party you brought her to.”

“Yeah, but for a good reason!”

“And what reason would that be?”

“Uhhh...I can’t say. But it really was a good reason!”

You give a skeptical look. “Did you even call her afterwards? Did you even think to apologize for leaving her alone?”

“...No. I got a little sidetracked, but I’ll do it right now!”

“She doesn’t want to see you again. I doubt she’ll want to talk to you.”

“Well that’s her loss.”

“Is it really, though,” you mutter to yourself.

“She seemed more than happy with me last night.” Then he adds, “Before I left her anyway.”

“What a coincidence—she said the same thing to me. I painstakingly searched through hundreds of files for her, and this is what you do? After you messed up all those other dates, it’s been near impossible digging up more matches for you.”

“I know, I know. I’m an asshole. But I also know you’ll find me another date in time for Bruce Wayne’s next big gala.”

“Can you at least try to be nice,” you say while shaking your head and rummaging through your files. “Nicer, I mean. I’m trying to find a potential lifelong partner for you here.”

“No guarantees, cupid.”

You eye him as you press your lips into a thin line. “I found a realtor who lives less than an hour away. Her profile is similar to your past matches and she seemed like she’d be able to put up with you. Realtors tend to have a lot of patience. Very admirable.”

“That’s pretty cold of you to say.”

“At this point, the one I feel sorry for is her.”

“Brrr...chilly.”

“From all the complaints I’ve been getting, you’re not exactly the easiest to be around.”

“You’re holding up just fine.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that we’ve hung out longer than I’ve dated any of the partners you’ve set me up with. Technically you could say,” he says slowly, suggestively, “I’ve been on more dates with you than any of those matches of yours.”

“Like any of that is my fault. You get dumped after one date almost every time and I’ve got to set up a new match for you in time for your next big party.”

“Why don’t you just be my date from now on?”

“Not gonna happen. I don’t get involved with my clients.”

“A little uptight, aren’t you?”

“If you’re just going to pester me about how I do my job, then this meeting is over. I’ll see you in a week after this next one dumps you.”

“That’s ice cold.”

“We’ll see what happens in a week.” You plaster a professional smile on your face as you bid him goodbye but once you turn around you bite your lip anxiously. You didn’t want to admit his nonchalant invitation to be his date made your chest squeeze. Just the slightest interest toward you has you feeling a little too giddy even when you keep reminding yourself how much of a jerk he is. The more he flirts with you, the harder it is to stay professional. You feel awful and guilty about it, but you don’t get many chances to feel this way.  

Being a professional matchmaker left you on the sidelines as you constantly watch couples meet and fall in love. Finding love for yourself just seemed to be out of reach for you when you’re busy finding love for other people. And pursuing romance with Jason Todd is entirely out of the question. It became impossible the moment he became your client. So, you vow to keep him at a distance.

Just as you had predicted, a week passes and Jason Todd Wayne contacts you again for another meeting to discuss another partner.

You glance at the time and see that he’s twenty minutes late. You roll your eyes at this. It’s nothing new. His lack of punctuality is part of the reason his dates got so fed up with him. Bored, you scan your surroundings and see an ice cream shop next to the café. Seeing no harm in getting yourself a treat, you buy a scoop of your favorite flavor. You choose the cone over the cup to savor your treat. The purchase takes only a few minutes and you’re soon back at your meeting spot, with still no sign of Jason, of course. It’s a few more minutes later when you hear your name being called.

Pausing mid-bite, you turn to see Jason and don’t bother with a greeting. “See? What’d I tell you? It’s been a week.”

He chooses to ignore your jab and says, “Is that ice cream? You bought ice cream without me?” You’re caught off guard for a moment and you open your mouth to answer but he continues childishly, “Let me have some.” His hand is suddenly around your hand that’s holding the ice cream cone, and he’s guiding it to his mouth.

You’re fumbling over your words as he takes a bite and you finally say, “Go get your own!” You snatch your hand out of his grasp and gesture to the ice cream shop. He licks the ice cream from his lips as he looks over to the shop. That’s when you see the side of his face where a greenish-yellow bruise adorns the outer corner of his eye, just below his eyebrow.  

“What the hell? That was not there last week” you say, lifting a hand as if to touch his face. Then you realize what you’re doing and drop your hand again. “That looks bad. Did you ice it?”

“I did. But you should’ve seen it last night, it was so much worse,” he says good-humoredly but then clamps his mouth shut as if he had just revealed a secret.

“I don’t even want to know,” you remark with a shake of your head. You had heard about Jason’s mysterious bruises and wounds, but you never saw them on the visible parts of his body. Your clients on the other hand had often complained about him showing up with mysterious injuries, suspecting him of getting into brawls, fooling around with other lovers, and God knows what. You understand now why they chose to break up with him. Showing up with serious injuries and refusing to offer an explanation as to how he got them (or making some outlandish lie) would make anyone in his company uncomfortable. It’s disconcerting. But the longer you stare at his bruised face, the more you pity him. “Let’s just get you some ice cream.”

“For my face?” His fingers lightly brush over his bruise.

“I was thinking for your mouth or your stomach.”

He laughs and makes his way into the ice cream store. “What flavor should I get?” he asks as you follow him inside.

“Just get your favorite flavor,” you suggest curtly.

“But that’s boring. Predictable.”

You roll your eyes. “Then try a new flavor.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

You act annoyed to keep up a withdrawn attitude toward him. But if you didn’t know better, he seems like he’s biding his time on purpose and you can’t help but wonder why. “Please just choose something, Jason.”

He’s not fazed by your snippy attitude and asks, “You don’t want to share with me?” He stuffs his hands into his pockets as he examines the choices beneath the glass.

“You can share with your next date partner,” you suggest as you continue consuming your treat. He narrows his eyes at you and you hide your smile behind your ice cream.

“You’re no fun,” he mumbles.

It takes an agonizingly long time with a lot of back and forth between you before he could successfully pick a flavor. Then, in an unexpected turn of events, you both end up walking around while finishing your cold treats. You discuss the next profile with him as you both stroll leisurely through a shopping center. During this time, you find Jason isn’t all that bad. The complaints about him have been mostly regarding his carelessness after all, rather than his attitude. But you hate that you find him so charming. As if his good looks didn’t make you curse him enough already.  

The next time you see Jason is after a few weeks and you’ve agreed to meet at a local bookstore. You’re not surprised to find that once again, Jason is late and nowhere to be seen. While skimming the shelves, a book catches your eye and you flip through it curiously.  

“That book isn’t very interesting.”  

You turn to the familiar voice and shut the book. “Then what do you recommend?” you ask lightly, remembering that reading is listed as one of his hobbies.

“Well, you can’t go wrong with the classics.”

“Classics? As in?” you prod with a raised brow.

“Well there’s Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters,” he says. “What kind of stories do you like? Or do you like poetry? Plays?”

You hadn’t expected him to ask so much about your interests. But you remind yourself to stay professional, so you steer the conversation to the purpose of the meeting. “We can discuss books next time. I have another client’s profile for you.”

“Still as uptight as ever. Thought you eased up a little since we last met.”

“It was...a unique occasion. I won’t let it happen again,” you say while turning away in case your face gives anything away.

“So I have to get knocked around a little for you to be nice to me?”

“I am nice to you,” you say indignantly. “I’m just trying to do my job and find suitable partners for you.”

“Alright, cupid. Then who do you have for me today?” he asks with annoyance, holding out his hand for the file. He acts almost... sulky.

You hand him a folder and he flips through it quickly. You explain, “They live almost two hours away but—”  

“Too far,” he states as he closes the folder and gives it back to you. His dismissive attitude stuns you and you look back at him with a bewildered expression. Jason had never declined the potential partners you’ve presented to him before. Then he says, “Can’t you just be my date from now on, cupid?”

You blink and take a moment to gather yourself. “I told you, I don’t get involved with my clients.”

"What do I have to do to get a date with you? Am I supposed to fire you? Even for me, that’s kind of a douche-y thing to do.”

Your breath still at this. The thought of being fired distresses you, but at the same time, Jason’s intention behind his words has your heart racing.

“Are you serious?” you ask.

“Yeah. You gotta admit we have fun together, right? And don’t say it’s because it’s your job.” He is interrupted when his phone suddenly goes off and he takes out the device as if he had just gotten an important notification. You cross your arms while waiting for his attention to return to the conversation. As he scrolls through his phone, you wonder fleetingly if he’s simply just tired of all his failed partners you’ve matched him with. “Listen, I gotta run,” he says while stuffing his phone back in his pocket. “But how about we meet again tomorrow? Are you free?” Realizing he’s ready to speed off, you stop him with a pointed finger.

“Hold it right there! You can’t just ditch our meeting today!”

“But—but it’s an emergency!” he insists.

“Then come back after!” you reply. “If you really need to talk to me then meet me in front of the library at eight tonight. That’s where I’m meeting my last client today and I should be done by then. Will you be able to come?”

“Uh, I guess I could do that.” He looks unsure as he glances at the time.

“Try, Jason. I have meetings with other clients tomorrow so unless you can wait a few more days, that’s the best I can do.”

“Okay, okay. Tonight in front of the library, got it.”

You don’t manage to get another word in as he takes his leave. This must be the infamous disappearance act where he just ups and leaves, ditching his partners. Despite being annoyed with his flaky attitude, you’re more bothered by the conversation that just transpired. Did he really want to fire you?  

Regardless of whether he fires you or you resign as his matchmaker, you aren’t even sure it would work out with Jason if you agree to a date him. You didn’t exactly approve of his attitude after all, and who’s to say the relationship would last? You wouldn’t even be able to go back to being matchmaker and client if you ended up breaking it off, and then you would have no reason to contact him again. The thought leaves you feeling strangely forlorn, so you push the thoughts away and continue your day.

Later that night you bid your last client goodbye and you loiter around the supposed meeting spot. As expected, Jason is nowhere to be seen, and you lazily sit on the cement planters in front of the library to wait for him. After thirty minutes, you toy with the idea of calling him. But you conclude that he’s just being his usual self.  

While waiting, you pass the time on your phone. You visit Jason’s Instagram profile, telling yourself the action is strictly professional and for the sake of research. You notice a post from yesterday. It’s a picture of a playbill for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He must’ve gone to see the play locally. You scroll down a bit to read the accompanying caption he wrote:  

“Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

“Cupid, huh,” you mutter under your breath. The post has half a million likes and hundreds of comments, most of which are heart emojis. Did Gotham even have that many people in it? You don’t dwell on it too long and proceed to add the activity to his dating profile.

It’s another thirty minutes later when a noise behind you draws your attention and makes you flinch. It sounded like a thud, like something had fallen.  

“Why are you still here?” a voice asks, and you turn to face the infamous vigilante in the red helmet. “It’s late. You should be home.”

Red Hood is addressing you and it stuns you. But you’re distracted by the way he slowly staggers forward while leaning on the side of the building for support. This guy is not in the best shape.

“I’m supposed to be meeting someone,” you say unsurely as you stand. Not many people have had the opportunity to converse with Gotham’s vigilantes. Not as common an occurrence as one would think. “Am I not supposed to be here? Um, should I go?” You can’t help but dwell on his wording, the way he had phrased his words. A sudden thought creeps into the back of your mind that you didn’t want to surface, that you didn’t want to acknowledge.

“Heh. I’ve always thought that seriousness of yours is pretty cute.” Then he loses balance and falls forward.  

“Are you okay?!” you exclaim. Instinctively, you move forward to catch him and the next thing you know, you’re holding up half his body weight. As you help lower him to a more comfortable position on the floor you slowly register his words, and when you do, your breath stills. You had tried to push it down, keeping it at the back of your mind, but the implication is impossible to ignore. The timing is too perfect to simply be a coincidence. You nervously scan Red Hood’s appearance as you sit next to him. “Jason?” you try, not sure what answer you are hoping to hear.

He hums in response then he vaguely says, “You know me pretty well, cupid. Looks like you don’t need your eyes to see me at all.”

His words throw you off but then you’re reminded of Jason’s most recent post on his social media. If you hadn’t seen it, you probably wouldn’t have understood what he just said to you. “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind,” you say softly and slowly, trying to recall the quote. “And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

“Didn’t know you were a fan of Shakespeare. Or have you been stalking me?”

“I have to keep up to date with my clients’ interests, okay?” you say to defend yourself. “I needed to update your profile.”

“Oh. Right, right.” A short chuckle escapes him but he groans right after and he clutches his side in pain. He leans his head back against the wall behind him.

“Are you okay?” you ask in panic, completely forgetting he came to you barely standing. Your hands hover just over his wounded body, wanting to help but unsure how to. You don’t care that you’re losing your cool in front of him. Professionalism be damned. It’s impossible to control the turmoil of emotions flowing through you, especially the guilt. All this time, you had criticized his awful habits and nonchalant behavior. Now everything about him is suddenly clicking into place.  

“You should be going to the hospital or something with these injuries,” you say while eyeing the blood seeping from his side. You notice cuts all over his body and even the helmet is cracked. “Why did you come here when you’re this hurt?”

“Well I said I’d come, so here I am.” His tone is light-hearted despite the heaves of his chest as he struggles to intake air.

“You’re already super late anyway, idiot,” you snap back, though you can feel tears pricking your eyes. “You shouldn’t have bothered. I was about to leave.”

“Kinda relieved you didn’t.”

“What was so important that it couldn’t wait until our next meeting?” you demand. You figure the sooner you get the reason out of him, the sooner you can get him some help.

“Come on, don’t be mad. It makes it harder to say if you’re mad at me.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and say in a controlled tone, “I’m not mad.”

“Let’s hope it stays that way,” he says before taking a deep breath. “I just didn’t want you to find me another date. I needed to tell you...God, this is going to sound so sappy but to hell with it. I don’t want any more matches, or profiles, or whatever. I’m in love with you. I don’t want to see anyone else. Look, I know you’re wary of me but give me a chance. Even Cupid was able to fall in love, right?”

For a moment you’re speechless but you organize your thoughts and say, “I consider Cupid’s love story more tragic than romantic. He really shouldn’t be a source of inspiration... or object of affection.”

“You’re totally missing the point of my speech.”

“You’re the one who likened me to Cupid,” you reply, trying to keep your emotions under control.

“Oh, so we’re just going to ignore my heartfelt confession, then.” He moves to sit up straighter and groans while doing so. You reach out to help support him but he grabs your hand instead. “I’m serious about you, really. Give me a chance. I promise I’ll be more honest. I’ll try harder to be on time. I’ll keep our dates. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“Okay, okay!” you hastily answer out of nervousness. “But how am I supposed to date you if you’re dying right in front of me?!”

“This is nothing. I just need to make a call, and everything will be fine. Easy-peasy.” He groans again as he leans back. He continues to grip your hand, clutching it to his chest. “But more importantly, now that we’re officially dating, can I publicly announce it?”

“You should be making this call of yours the priority right now,” you say while desperately trying to ignore the heat creeping across your face.

He sighs dramatically. “Can’t you let me savor this moment a little while longer?”

“Well excuse me for worrying! If you weren’t bleeding out, I would let you savor this moment however long you wanted.”

“I can’t help it if I want to celebrate. I’ve finally caught Cupid, after all.”

You study his expressionless helmet. "What would you have done if I still said no?” you ask curiously.

“Remember how I said I didn’t want to be an ass and fire you? Well I would probably try to get you to quit instead. Then ask you out.”

An incredulous expression crosses your face and you ask, “Get me to quit? How?”

“Oh, probably a little bullying here and there. Just me being more of a jerk than I already am,” he says while using one hand to slide his helmet off. You’re glad to see his familiar face after staring at his mask for so long.

“Wow, that is just as bad,” you remark, your voice laced with humor. “That’s an equally terrible thing to do.”  

“Doesn’t matter now, cupid. I don’t have to do any of that stuff anymore.” He grips your hand again and tugs you closer, making you lean over him slightly as a result.

“Yeah, because you made me a promise,” you quip, attempting to maintain your composure despite how close you are to him.

"Indeed, I did,” he says in agreement, his voice dropping lower and making your legs weak. He tilts his head and his lips ghost just over yours. “So now I can be cupid’s match.”

Your lips stretch into a smile. “Then, as of now, I officially resign as your matchmaker.”

.

.

.

[thischairismyhomenow]

Joker

I must preface this little review with a defense of my honor.

I did not want to pay to see this movie! I didn't!! And I wasn't planning on doing so either! I was going to pirate this shit wait for streaming and I would have, except that a new friend wanted to see it for his birthday and it felt like the wrong time to go on a self-righteous tangent. Especially since (having not seen the film, duh) I didn't know for sure if there was anything to even be self-righteous about.

There was! But honestly? Not as much as I thought. For a film that's been controversial basically since it was announced, it was mostly just boring. Now, I don't have a problem with slow movies. I loved Curon's Roma, for fuck's sake. But boring and slow are different things.

Okay so, spoilers, if I'm even remembering this correctly:

We meet Joker, whose real name is Forever Alone. He is sad because he has a mental illness that makes him laugh at the wrong times, which is kind of like Tourettes I guess. He is also sad because it's the 80s.

Forever Alone goes to see his therapist after being beat up in an alleyway. His therapist asks if any of the seven (seven!!!) medications he's on are helping. I can't remember if he says yes or no, but he's very sad, because his dad is gone and his mom has no boundaries and this is supposed to make us sympathetic to him murdering people later. Did you know a lot of men were raised by single mothers? They should be allowed to do whatever they want because they are sad and angry. Tyler Durdan told me so.

Anyway, Forever Alone hates his job as a clown. He wants to be a comedian someday. He wants Robert De Niro, who is a talk show host, to be his dad. He helps his mother take a bath, which is very creepy and wildly inappropriate and I would rant about how parental enmeshment is actually emotional abuse but that's a post for another time.

Some smug Wall Street guys who are weirdly good at singing attack him on the subway and he (dressed as a clown) kills them. At this point I'm torn, because fuck those guys. I have a glimmer of hope that this movie is about how we should tax the rich. We don't need to kill them!! We don't even need to eat them. But we should tax them.  

Forever Alone's therapist's office closes due to lack of funding and he can't get his (seven!!!!) meds anymore. Again I have hope that this movie is about economic inequality and it kind of is for a few minutes. He's sad and I'm genuinely sad too, because Jeff Bozo has too much money.

Next: Forever Alone kills one of his friends from work for being mean. He does not kill his midget friend. Then he finds out baby Bruce Wayne's dad is also his dad! What the fuck!

I almost like this twist except that a little later in the movie we find out that his mom was making it up and he was really adopted. (Or was he??) He's really mad at his mom for lying about it, so he smothers her with a pillow.

He does a standup routine that goes 80s-equivalent-of-viral, so Robert De Niro invites him onto his talk show. Forever Alone, who is now the Joker, kills Robert with a gun on live television. Because father figures will always disappoint you or something. There is pandemonium in the streets. Someone kills baby Bruce Wayne's parents. The Joker is embraced by a big mob of people and smiles a bloody smile and that's the end.

Do I feel bad for the Joker? Yeah, sort of. Do I feel mad at the filmmakers? Also yeah! For one thing, they're just perpetuating the same tired stereotypes about the mentally ill, i.e. that they're dangerous time bombs. Are some people so out of touch with reality that they can't be held accountable for their actions? Yes.

Is that who this movie is for though? No.

Are the majority of people with mental illnesses so out of touch with reality that they can't be held accountable for their actions? ALSO NO.

"Oh, I don't believe in anything." —the Joker

This line is how you know the movie is not actually made for paranoid schizophrenics. Because paranoid schizophrenics believe things VERY deeply. If he had said, "I believe I am God's second son who was cast out of heaven. Follow me," I would be like, okay, yeah, decent portrayal I guess.

"I don't believe in anything," is the line that does tell me, yes: this movie will indeed make incels feel special and validated. They will feel seen! Representation for everybody! Nihilistic edgelords everywhere can watch this movie and say, "SEE. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M TERRIBLE. WE LIVE IN A  S O C I E T Y."

It's true. We do live in a society. A society that could be improved. What I'll never understand is why this particular type of dude doesn't realize that they could like...do something? And I don't mean shoot up a church. There are a thousand ways to get involved in the bettering of the universe. Sure, if you're depressed AF it's hard to believe that. But you have to try.

I saw this other superhero movie a few years ago, and it started in a similar way — with a weird, scrawny guy getting his ass kicked in an alleyway. This guy had tons of problems too: health problems, money problems, no-dad problems, existential questions of purpose. He didn't really have girl problems because girls completely ignored him.

His name was Steve Rogers.

Think about that.

So I'm not saying the movie is completely terrible, honestly, I just hate that a particular demographic of American Male will walk out of that theater feeling like it revealed some deep truth, when really they are being sold a lie.

You don't have to become a monster just to prove how much pain you're in. You could just like, talk to people. Bad shit is gonna happen. Poverty, abuse, pain, rejection. We can either try to hurt the world or try to save it in response.

[bvtmxns-blog]

LOOK, UP IN THE SKY ! its a bird, its a plane – NO, it’s BATMAN!! i’ve heard rumors that they are a HERO, adopted child of BRUCE WAYNE. i wonder who they really are.. definitely not RICHARD ‘DICK’ GRAYSON. it’s weird though, they look just like MATTHEW DADDARIO. they’re AFFABLE  &  DAUNTLESS, but also STUBBORN  &  BOISTEROUS.

HEY GANG !! i’m ashley and i will be playing dick grayson — formerly known as nightwing and now known as BATMAN . i have to shove off to bed here shortly due to work , but wanted to get this posted first . feel free to hmu for plotting either here or on discord !! promise that i’m normally 500% down for anything !!

i’m comic book trash when it comes to the batfam, so i’ll be pulling a lot from new 52 and rebirth, plus my own headcanons and adjustments to fit the roleplay. dick’s backstory will be fairly the same, but none of that spyral stuff. ain’t nobody got time for that.

batman helped him in investigating the murder of his parents by tony zucco. bruce empathized with dick, having gone through a similar tragedy as a kid and took him under his wing. dick would become the first robin and eventually lead the teen titans during his preteen and early teenage years. 

he would eventually become a bit disillusioned with bruce. while he loved and respected him as a father figure, it was apparent to dick that being batman had changed the man he was over the years— making bruce a bit harder to deal with (that broody mofo). this coupled with the fact that dick was tired of being in the shadow of the bat drove the two to fight with one another and dick to branch out on his own. he would move to blüdhaven and take up the mantle of nightwing. at this time he would also join the police force as his day job. at some point he became the leader of the titans, a team made up of former teen titans.

dick NEVER wanted to be batman. again, he saw what it did to bruce and certainly didn’t want that for himself. but deep down he knew that the cowl would end up passed down to him. he was the oldest and had practically been groomed for the duty since the day he became robin. plus, he recognized that gotham still needed batman and it wasn’t a burden that dick would allow any of his siblings to carry. so, when the time came for bruce to step down, dick reluctantly accepted the role of the dark knight. he made sure that nightwing lived on with his little brother tommy, though.

in addition to taking on the cowl as batman, dick also became a co-leader of the justice league. he gets the police forces far more involved in the vigilantism of the batfamily and company, being a former cop himself, he knows their more active involvement will help make sure their convictions stick.

dick is very actively trying not to be like bruce (lowkey he is bruce lite™ tho). he doesn’t want to be some dark brooding, loner with more secrets than he can count. their family has enough secrets already, thank you very much.

he’d do absolutely anything for his family. his siblings mean the world to him and he takes his big brother role very seriously.

dick is a rather good natured and fun-loving guy. he laughs easily and leans on the more optimistic side.

he’s got a lil bit of an ego ngl.

HE IS STUBBORN AF. dogmatic as hell. once he decides his way is the morally right way, good luck trying to get him to change his mind or see something from another point-of-view.

he’s a flirt with a thing for redheads. this is canon fact, let’s just be honest.

[yicruz48]

MASTER LIST

Rants, Asks, Analysis, Theories, Discussions, Reviews and Fan-fiction.

Updated: July/9/2020

Notes: 

Everything italicized is newly added content;

Decided to make this since I’ve noticed a lot Damian-centered fan-fiction blogs seem to reblog my posts as reference for their fan-fictions and I wanted to put it all in one place. Wasn’t my intention when I first published my posts but its a welcomed outcome :D. 

Asks: 

Please don’t be afraid to ask me Damian/Teen-Titan centered questions or if you just want to just discuss anything Batfam-related (although admittedly I am well-read on Damian specifically)!!! I really love discussing things with you guys!!!

-> The Teen Titans Rebirth run would be so much more enjoyable if the core three (Damian, Emiko, Wallace) were...[HERE]

-> Opinions on the dami/emiko ship?..[HERE]

-> Thanks for the rant because I'm getting tired of the way DC treats Damian...[HERE]

-> What do you think is going to happen when the annual comes out?...[HERE]

-> Do you think Damian has photographic memory?...[HERE]

-> Do  you still consider the Super Sons, the same dynamic dual they were after Jon was aged up?...[HERE]. 

-> Do you think Damian knows how to use roller blades?...[HERE].

-> Does Damian have a favorite food?...[HERE].

->  What do you think will happen in Damian and Bruce's confrontation? I'm worried that Bruce will hit him and they will try to excuse it...[HERE].

-> How I would’ve handled Damian’s destruction in Teen Titans...[HERE].

-> Hey, what did you see in Adam Glass' instagram? :ooo I am really curious (and worried af)...[HERE].

-> Do you think that Leviathan: Checkmate being indefinitely postponed has any relevance to Damian losing his Robin title or was impacted by DC’s future plans for Damian?...[HERE].

-> Do you pronounce Ra’s Al Ghul “Raz” or “Raysh?”...[HERE].

-> How much times has Damian died so far?...[HERE].

Discussions:  

->Unpopular Opinion: Damian Wayne x Emiko Queen

-> Wallace West II (Kid Flash) Rant

->Damian Wayne & Emiko Queen : Admittedly, I got ALOT things wrong on my post when I first published it. With the help of @redfreakingarrow​ I have gone back and corrected those mistakes. So if you have already read this post I would suggest you go back and re-read the corrections.  

->Dick Grayson & Oliver Queen

->Theory: Damian Wayne, Batman #666, and The Book of the Damned

->Things I Wish Writers Would Explore More with Damian. Addition to post that goes deeper into Damian’s Trauma in the League...[HERE]. 

-> How To Know If A Writer Knows How To Write Damian

->TIM AND DAMIAN RANT

-> Damian & Dick 

-> Damian’s Development Slaughtered

-> Want to read up on Damian? Don’t know where to start? Want a short reading list? Here is my top ten comic recommendations to read to get to know Damian. 

-> Why You Should Read Tom Taylor’s Suicide Squad: Where I give you 10 reasons to read Tom Taylor’s Suicide Squad. If you haven’t read it, your clearly missing out.

-> Get Rekt Bruce: Compilation of times since the start of Rebirth that Bruce has been insulted by heroes and villain's (including additions from followers in the comments).   

Reviews:

-> My Review on the Teen Titans(2016) So Far : Updated with new research on characters including Red Arrow and Kid Flash.  

-> Teen Titans #41 Review: Adam’s Glass last Issue/ End of Djinn Arc

-> Teen Titans #42 Review: Robbie Thompson’s first Issue as writer alone.

Fan-Fiction: 

What can I say? Self Promo... 

-> Strictly Confidential: Takes place after the events of Pennyworth RIP. Wallace awaits Damian outside of Mercy Hall to attempt to comfort Damian after the event.