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blackgirlsuperherorants · 3 years

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With more articulation, I'm ready to talk about why the push for Lokius simply bothers me, and this can be said for other m/m or w/w ships that fans push to be canon so hard just because they ship it.

It's the framing. The framing that if Marvel doesn't do it (or whatever the brand is), it's because homophobia, and if other fans don't like it/ship it, it's because homophobia (even if they ship other queer ships and are queer themselves.) And the biggest problem with that is that it overshadows the REAL issue of lack of queer representation on screen in mainstream nerd media, especially from big things under the Disney umbrella (Marvel and Lucasfilm/Star Wars, especially.)

It makes it bad that your ship isn't canon instead of bad that there haven't been any queer romances on screen in the MCU.

And like, as a writer myself, I find myself dissecting the stories of other media all the time. I can watch an MCU movie or series and pretty much assess what direction the story is going in by the narrative points they're hitting. I knew Sylki was basically gonna happen (even if just a kiss) because narratively, that's what the show was doing as soon as they had that "what is love" conversation on Lamentis-1. It didn't mean I liked it. But I knew it was happening.

Similarly, there's no romantic undertones to Loki and Mobius. None. For Marvel to make them a couple, it would mean they'd be doing it simply because the two present as men and it would make stans happy. And while there's something to be said for fan service, it would be annoying to watch them cram two guys together who aren't romantic in the slightest. I'd much rather see Loki meet some guy and have the same type of undertones they were giving to Sylvie and form a real bond to where the kiss feels earned and warranted. Not just put him with the nearest man because "he gay lol."

And how you guys are claiming it's being queer that makes you want this is beyond me. It's not being queer that makes you want this. I don't want queer characters that fuck everyone of whatever gender(s) they're attracted to even when it doesn't make sense for them to. I want real love stories. I mean, yeah, sometimes we can have a slut character, because that's fun, too, but that's not even what y'all think Lokius is. You seem to want them to be in love. But why? Because he's the first friend Loki made that isn't through Thor?

I hate that, too, because I hate this idea that queer people cannot have friends of their same gender without wanting to fuck them. IDK how y'all are, maybe y'all are like that, but I almost never have wanted to fuck any of my friends. The only few exceptions have been when I tried to befriend someone I had a crush on (in which case, usually the friendship can't work, really, because I have a crush on them.) I also think it's okay if you can have casual sex with friends, or if you have a friendship that develops into romance, but Jesus, do you people not have friends that you don't want to fuck? I am bi, maybe more pan (gender kind of doesn't matter to me, I guess) and I'm friends with people of all kinds of gender identities and like... I love them as people, which is why they're my friends, but I DO NOT want to fuck them. Especially my closest friend. I talked about her, before, here, but she's like my sister. The thought of fucking her is gross, to me. Not because she's gross, but because it feels incestuous.

Loki shouldn't want to fuck Mobius just because they developed a friendship. And that's very much how it's written on the series. They almost dislike each other (or Mobius is at least indifferent to Loki) and then they become friends.

That's not to mention the power dynamic that exists, there. And I know some of y'all are subs, but yeah, it's a bit gross to imply a sexual relationship with Loki's captor.

But on to Sylki. It sucks that I feel like most of y'all hate Sylki because Sylvie is a girl, and not just because it's bad in other ways. Like, the reasons Sylki is bad have less to do with "it should have been Mobius" and more to do with it being a lazy 1980s action movie plot that should have never happened. I'm not as creeped out by the selfcest (as many of you wouldn't have been if she was a he, I'm almost positive), but what's bad about it is that they couldn't have a strong female lead character without her being the love interest of the main guy. She didn't need to be, especially because she was a Loki variant, anyway. There was no need for it to have romantic undertones, and there was no need for them to kiss. It was sexist more than it was homophobic (and I can't help feeling like y'all are kind of being biphobic in this case. Maybe I'll talk about that, later, but yeah.) It was sexist bullshit. And there's valid criticism that Sylvie is underdeveloped. She's just angry and something for Loki to project affection onto.

I was also hoping they'd do a "found family" type of thing with Sylvie and Loki and let her be like the sister he never knew he needed, but no, they had to go trope and make her the love interest. It was lazy and bad and basically went "If Loki girl, main Loki want bone!"

Basically, having the main character fall for a character just because of their proximity and gender is bad and I hate it (and it would have been bad with Mobius, too, but yeah.)

Both the Mobius and the Sylvie thing also feel kind of racist, to me, because the show has prominent Black women who aren't even presented as desirable to Loki. And y'all, of course, ship him with anyone but the Women of Color. Y'all can pull true love with Mobius out of your ass, but he couldn't possibly fall for the Black women. lol.

Anyway. Not every show needs ships, and this show shouldn't have had any. I hate it. It's bad.

I guess on the biphobia front, I have heard some takes that it's not biphobic because Loki being queer in the MCU which hasn't shown any queer relationships, and Loki being the first openly queer character means they shouldn't have shown him with a woman presenting character. Which, I guess I get where you're coming from... but I have also been in fandoms for a long time and I see mostly girls saying this shit, which is what leads me to feel like it's simply jealousy. It happens all the time when a long-beloved single male character/celebrity suddenly starts dating a woman. Everyone hates it. And like, we haven't seen Loki be with ANYONE in the MCU, because mostly he's been doing villainy and his dating life hasn't been relevant. If the demigod says he's bi, he can kiss a woman. Especially a woman version of himself. Like I said, I hate it for other reasons, but pretending it's because he should have kissed Mobius is utterly delusional. He probably shouldn't have kissed anyone. Not in this series. There was no reason for any canon romance, especially because the show has a season 2 and we'll have time to see Loki develop earned, deserved romance with someone.

I'd much rather see them create a character just to be his boyfriend than have y'all push Marvel into making Lokius canon, which is a nonsense ship that only happened because Mobius is the only prominent male-presenting character before we meet the other Lokis.

My sincere wish is for people to remember that their ships are just ships and to enjoy them without getting all self-righteous about it. I TOLD y'all that Lokius wasn't gonna be canon like 4 episodes back, and here y'all are acting shocked and like Marvel took something from you. NOBODY expected y'all to ship Lokius. It's not even queerbait.

You can make clear arguments as to why Sambucky was queerbait. It's there in undertones in the actual series.

You cannot watch Loki and tell me you thought it was queerbait, unless you think men can't have conversations or hug goodbye without being romantically involved. Which means, in my opinion, that you need to learn about healthy masculinity.

Again, this is not a defense of Marvel. They DO need to let characters be queer, for real, and not just by saying " A bit of both". Like, let Loki be queer. Let Deadpool be queer. Let these queer characters be queer on screen. Yes.

But please stop making it about your ship. I'd rather see a flashback of Loki dating a guy and see him kiss someone he loved back on Asgard than watch y'all force Lokius. Because my queer rep is not about your crackship. It really isn't. And the fact that y'all keep calling us homophobic for not liking your ship REALLY needs to be addressed.

Like, when will y'all stop? I got on Stucky shippers about this shit in the past. All of us gay as hell, too, we just don't like YOUR ship. A lot of us like other queer ships. A lot of us like queer ships in other fandoms, too, and even have queer OCs. YOUR ship just ain't it. Stop forcing it. Literally, most of the ship wars between MCU fans have been queer ship vs queer ship, not really queer ship vs straight ship. Like, the number one Stucky rival ship was Stony. Not Steggy. People are not homophobic for not wanting your ship.

Sometimes it's because they ship something else.

And sometimes, like me, it's because they want something to make sense narratively and not happen for the sake of it happening. It's always better writing to have a character meetcute a new love interest than to magically turn a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship. Like, even when the characters are straight. Like, when Moesha dated Hakeem. It was just weird, even if he was kind of a great boyfriend. He was just supposed to be her friend, and people didn't really like it because it didn't fit narratively.

And that's why ships for the most part should be left to fanfiction, with the exception of a few where fans are right to call out the writers for not making it canon because it's clearly bait (like what happened to Destiel shippers. To see Lokius shippers compare themselves to THAT was so ridiculous. Destiel shippers had a decade of evidence only to be let down by a criminally unfair ending. Lokius shippers saw two men have a deep conversation once and lost their minds.)

Anyway, I'm not saying don't ship Lokius. I don't even hate it, really. I just think it obviously shouldn't be canon, and fans pretending like they were robbed of it is ridiculous. Literally, Ao3 exists for this reason. I will never see Steve fuck Sam Wilson, so I wrote it into my fanfic. I am not mad that they didn't actually date in the main MCU storyline.

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bisexualoftheblade-old · 3 years

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how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

#cai's 200 #asks #mininacl

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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Thank You For Dropping Me Off, Sir

Now I've talked a lot about Armando's denial and given the facts to prove it. What I don't want getting lost in translation though is that though Armando does care about Betty, you cannot deny that he is also concerned over the company, however it(his feelings towards Betty) is the the real reason he continues with the plan.

@el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle (They're the poster about Aura Maria and Mario their post is Episode 64, go read it if you haven't had the chance!) mentioned something that I hadn't thought about all that well, that due to Armando's tendency of people pleasing he often does things out of a deep responsibility for their happiness and his guilt.

When Mario manipulates him this day(the day after he first kissed Betty) he really switches language as he tells him "I don't like this." "I'm worried." He's after our(my) money." which moves Armando to continue with the plan, for the sake of Mario and the company and everyone else in the company but now he has another reason, he somewhat wants to understand what he feels.

Now let's jump into the scene I'll be breaking down.

Betty is being dropped off by Armando. She is still keeping this very PG, trying to justify his actions to them being work related. Again this is very true of a person who has experienced real heartbreak of the romantic kind. Like I mentioned in the previous post I was in toxic friendship, when that friendship was over I spent years guarding myself around anyone and making no efforts to from friendships of any real substance and when I did I worked really hard to keep them at arm's length. This was my defense mechanism and I appreciate the fact that they show this with Betty.

In most instances they don't portray characters with emotional damage all too well or one could assume that Betty does this because she's insecure and though to some degree that's true, Betty also does this to protect herself from having to once again experience heartbreak and this time from someone who she actually cares about, not someone who in some way forced himself to be her interest.

Miguel wasn't just a guy who used her and got money out of it. That wasn't the only thing that broke Betty.

Miguel presented himself as a love interested to Betty, who didn't like him at first but was flattered by his attention, as she later tells Armando that she up to that point thought no man would ever pay attention to her as a woman. Betty was somewhat guarded but once she let her guard down she fell in love.

She says she gave all of herself and all her love to him. He was her first love but Miguel didn't care. To Betty what Miguel did translated to him finding her so repulsive, so heinous, and disgusting that even her love wasn't enough to change his heart and he shared her naked spirit to his friends all for money and to make fun of her. It wasn't a question of ego but rather of worth.

This with every right left Betty traumatized. So when she speaks over him, interrupts Armando and justify it as him being drunk, not knowing what he was doing, depressed, stressed, anguished for the company and exceeding himself with beautifiers, she is trying not to feed her hope. She is trying to remain grounded and safe because unlike with Miguel Betty on her own has discovered who Armando is and decided to fall in love with him. What she feels for his is true and genuine feelings that weren't "forced" or pushed onto her like with Miguel. If she allows herself to believe what he is saying she is allowing herself to fall victim to loves cruelty again.

Armando soberly repeats the same things he had drunkenly told Betty the previous night. That he can't live without her.

"But you haven't lived without me, Sir. I work by your side more than eighteen hours (Girl I would've done killted myself if I had to work beside a man as neurotic as Armando for 18+ hours a day!No matter how good the view is!) a day."

"Yes but now it's different, Beatriz, because I feel these desires[I can't really hear what he said] to caress you, to kiss you." He says leaning forward after touching the side of her face with the back of his fingers, but Betty pulls back and says "No".

As he pulls away Armando studies Betty's face and looks embarrassed as well as confused at Betty's rejection all the while trying to remain composed.

This is when Betty names the list of reasons not to believe Armando is interested in her and Armando gets mad at her.

He openly yells "No,no,no, I'm not confused Beatriz!" he says between clenched teeth and turns to look at her. "I am not. I feel perfectly sure that what I'm saying is the truth."

"Sir, the thing is that it's not possible for you to have taken notice of me."

Angirly now Armando screams at her "But why!"

Why does he react so angrily at Betty for this? For one because he doesn't like for Betty to invalidate his feelings(again this shows he feels comfortable being himself around her) and that she wouldn't believe that he likes her.

I mentioned already that Armando's tone gives us a true understanding of what he's saying and with what intention even when his body language is different. Here he is upset that Betty doesn't believe him and mostly that she doesn't see why he'd be interested in her.

"But why?" he asks more calmly at seeing Betty's reaction.

She nervously begins to explain "Because I know your type really well. You are of fine palate. You like women who are ninety, sixty, ninety, tall, pretty, with class, and-and I don't correlate with any of those characteristics, sir."

"Yes that's true." They both laugh nervously, "Betty, Betty, Betty." He is now trying to find the words to speak. "I love,love, your-your, strength hmm" He nods and here we see him slowly become more honest as he finds the qualities of Betty's that he loves/likes. "I love that energy that I feel when we're together, I love it. I love the way you do things like so sure of it." He smiles and turns to look at her and then tells her. "I also love your softness(tenderness/gentle nature)." he says looking away from her now being shy and then looks back at her and tells her "I love that gift you've got, of managing people. I really love that."(y'all this is why she works 18+ hours with him, I get it).

Again he starts to struggle to find the words but he finds them and unlike the first reason he listed (her strength) he is actually being honest even though he is doing the same gesture(from what I've read often times when you are reading body language you don't just focus on the gesture but overall the entire context; like tone of voice, subject of conversation, speech patterns, ect. We can conclude that Armando is being honest here as it shows a very natural pattern of behavior of his here instead of seeming tense, now he is actively wanting to find the words to speak) "I love your sensibility, man, you've got a very special sensibility." Betty now looks away from him with a slight smile and he seems Contentment with her reaction(Even in the past, before all of this, Armando has always had a face of contentment/joy when he sees Betty smile, especially when he is the one that makes her smile and because of that he kept trying to actively treat her better so that he could be the cause of it; it's a sense of reward really. He did something nice for her and she'd be happy and that would make him happy. A clear demonstration of this is when Armando talks to Betty about her new raise) and he tells her "Betty it's because you're like a little angle to me. Plus I love your personality, what a (the word he uses literally translates to hot or scorching but we'll use another one) welcoming personality and and I love you intelligence. The way you so efficiently do things. It's because I think that any man would find all of that attractive now, don't you think?"

Armando started struggling to consciously find what he likes about her but all of a sudden he can't stop naming them or talking about the things he finds attractive of Betty's. Like a vail has been dropped in his brain all of a sudden>

"Mmm, no." Betty shakes her head in response to his question. "Definitely not, Sir."

"No?" He chuckles nervously "then I don't know what's going on with me then so then I'm going crazy...crazy for you. See I want you to know that since I found out about Nicolas I felt a lot a lot of fear. I felt a lot of anguish and believe me, I felt a lot of anguish but also this desire to caress you and kiss you. " In this sentence we get a shift of tone of voice showing that he shifts from being honest to being manipulative.

"No, no, Sir. What I was only going to tell you is that I don't understand why you feel that about me. I can't find any motive why[you would]."

Armando's tone has now shifted to manipulation, no longer being light hearted and natural.

"This goes to prove that what one feels goes beyond physical appearance, the stereotypical, you understand me?" then again shifts to his natural voice "Betty I know that you've probably thought that the woman of my life has to be a ninety, sixty, ninety, with these marvelous curves, with generous breast, blue eyes, very tall," he says very clearly showing that he likes that and Betty seems down about it until he turns to look at her "like the models, right? But look none of those models have made me happy. I haven't felt for anyone, what I feel for you Beatriz Pinzon Solano." The final sentence he says with conviction. You can't overlook or ignore that as confusion, this shows us that Armando to some degree knows that what he feels for Betty goes beyond anything he's ever felt for anyone.

Now next he closes his eyes to go onto this monologue that beauty isn't what media feeds us but rather something that is deeper than skin. That is it based on the substance of a person, speaking Betty's love ideal here. Why does he have his eyes closed?

He can openly talk about Betty and the wonderful qualities that he finds attractive but he can't openly talk about Betty's physical appearance because up to this point he hasn't accepted or had to face that reality yet.

Betty the whole time is paying attention to what he's saying, his body language. This is why Betty lives sure and convinced of what he is telling her because she's learned to read him like her favorite book and that's the thing.

Betty is very aware of Armando's feelings, boundaries, and flaws. Just like Mario is and we see that in the office when they see each other for the first time after the kiss. Betty inspects his behavior and then decides to act like nothing happened, not only to protect herself but to not make him uncomfortable. The difference however is that while Mario uses his knowledge on Armando to manipulate and force him to do things, Betty doesn't. Betty uses this knowledge to help him and to encourage him in his growth by celebrating his victories and standing beside him when he fails. She doesn't demand for him to change or stop doing what he is, instead she allows him to behave how he does but she isn't shy to show how she feels about it. While Armando isn't so much intune or aware of Betty's feelings because he's so focused on what Betty does for him, however this doesn't dismiss that because of the way Betty loves him, it also inspires him to change and that's really the biggest lesson we get with these two and we're only getting started.

"Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink, sir?"

"I'm sober, Betty, but I'm hallucinating, and that's real." he looks away from her and then back "I'm hallucinating but for you. Of you, Betty." he leans forward. Now the music here gives us the understanding that it is meant to be intriguing(I love the soundtrack so I looked it up and that's legit the title track for this theme) .

Music is a huge part of cinema as it is proven to affect the audience and convey feelings otherwise dismissed. The music creates an air of mystery now because we don't know if what Armando is saying and doing is honest now while in the past we could pick up on it now it's a lot harder to do so.

However one can imagine that while he had his eyes closed he was pictureing Adriana Arboleda sitting in front of him(why else would they show us Mario giving him the picture and telling him to just picture her instead) instead of Betty.

Betty turns to look at the moon after he points it and she smiles.

"Yes the moon is very beautiful. How curious." she speaks as Armando now looks at a picture of AA. "It's the same moon that's inspired so many poets throughout a lot of human history." Here Armando takes in a deep breath is seems to be pumping himself up, he takes off his glasses. Betty is still looking up at the moon and says "There's nothing that inspires more than the moon." Armando sleeks his brows(he wanted to look presentable IG) and agrees with her, now his hand under her chin her turns her around towards him.

"And that's our moon, Beatriz and this is our night." He now leans closer.

Now I see many people point out that Armando's eyes are open when he kisses Betty but this is something he does with Marcela as well which indicates that it isn't based on disgust but mostly guilt.

As they kiss at first his eyes are wide open and then tightly shut(if I'm being honest, as a person who hates romance(ironic huh) I hate with a passion, kissing scenes so this is hard for me to watch lol like I've seen from the nose up, nothing below that so I know how Armando reacts as wella s Betty but the mouth part is the one that grosses me out the most) . Betty takes ina sharp breath and pulls away and now Armando opens his eyes surprised and does the same.

"No, Sir.." Betty is now the one struggling to find words.

"You didn't like it?" He asks but states at the same time.

Betty nods gently, however her eyes are wide. Betty is terrified here and it isn't because Armando is taking advantage here(he's not) it's because she is terrified of all the implications it means. For one she is allowing herself to have hope for a relationship with Armando, for her to show her love to him and for him to love her for it, despite the fact she's "ugly". It means that she is setting herself up for a potential heartbreak that could be the end of her.

"Lets move from here, it's cause my dad peeps out through the windows and he can come and see what's going on and I don't want that."

"Yeah me either."

They move from location and Betty proceeds to speak.

"Sir this isn't correct. I don't know what's going on with you. I'm starting to get worried, Sir. "

"What is it Betty? Is that you suddenly don't feel anything for me?" He tries to stay composed but his micro expression shows worry.

"Of course I do." He looks somewhat relieved while maintaining a poker face. "I admire you a lot. You're a man that's so-so interesting." he smirks and raises an eyebrow showing approval of what she said as well as confident in himself 'Of course you do'.

"I started to feel that you were special for me when you started to defend my work. To value me as a professional." He still seems pleased but not as much. As Betty relays all of this in the professional element(While Armando focused on the person). We know why it was so important to her that Armando did this and why he became special to her for it, however Armando doesn't. "and I realized how important I am for your life.(osea, how important of a role she plays in his life)" Armando now has eyebrows raised and is blinking rapidly. He is really paying attention to what she is saying. and trying to comprehend as well "All of these things attract me from you." she says timidly.

He now has to face this new reality, that though he confessed true attraction based on her person, Betty has only relaid professional or work related qualities that attract her, not him as an individual and why it bothers him.

"That-that's wonderful, Betty."

"But this is crazy, Sir. You have a girlfriend, you're going to get married." He turns from he and opens his mouth slightly in shock and then turns back to look at her. "You can't leave Marcela to start a relationship with me."

He now looks at her with a frustrated expression.

"It would be terrible, your family would not allow it... and what would happen with me? You have to really think this through."

"No, Betty, but of course. It can be crazy, of course. What's happening is that I already... I already experienced something. Yes and I already confirmed that I want to keep living it. Now you're right I can't breakup with Marcela, just like that. The situation with Eco Moda is too difficult to end things with her right this moment, plus my relationship with my family is in crises, I think they wouldn't take the sandal and neither would I but you better than anyone know I don't love Marcela. See if that's the case, what's the fear? Let's continue ahead, Betty. Besides it's about feelings. I have to feel for you, you have to feel for me. We'll see til where we go. Don't you think?" The music theme is titled "secrecy".

"I'm just so afraid, Sir."

"Or is it because you feel more for that sir, Nicolas?" he says with a tinge of jealousy.

"Ay, sir, lets take Nicolas out of this conversation, you want to?"

"Yes clearly, that's what I want. So what then? What's the fear? Huh? You've risked everything for me, see, together we've done a lot crazy things. We've been accomplices in a lot things and now you're going to tell me that you don't have the bravery to live this next to me? Or you don't want to live it, Betty?

"Of course I do, Sir."

"Yes?" He now shifts to kiss her.

After their kiss, after Armando does that disgusted face again, Betty agrees to be his other woman.

His phone starts to ring and Marcela is a very possessive manner tells Armando that she's waiting for him and just wanted to make sure he was going to go over, that she a very delicious dinner for him.

After he hangs up and he agrees to drop her off he tells Betty "You look very precious." And she scoffs in a lighthearted way, finding it funny that he'd say that.

Marcela legit made fun of her and said that she looked worse than she had the day before so it amuses her that Armando would say that.

"One last question, will Mr. Mario Calderon know of this?" she asks as they arrive at the front of her house. "It's just that you both are so trusting of each other, you tell each other everything. I wouldn't want for him nor anyone to know of this, Sir. In some way you have a relationship with Ms. Marcela and by accepting this affair I take on the role of you lover."

"No don't say that." Again this entire things highlights Armando's true nature of his obsessiveness with physical perfection and how it's the only way he can ever be attracted to a woman so he feels grossed out by the idea of having to do anything more than kissing, and lover implies that they do more than kissing. He'd know, he's an expert in the subject.

This is when Armando promises to Betty not to tell Mario about this.

This is his second mistake with Betty.

The first being that he starts his relationship in the bases of lies.

The drop off:

Now as the nights go on there's a change of pace to the drop offs in front of Betty's house.

This first time Betty waves good-bye to him and he repeats to himself he's a piece of ish over and over again, angirly. Duh, he feels guilty.

Betty's dad then opens the door and Armando urgently drives off. Later we see that he does this frequently but slowly he begins to take a while longer before driving off, which demonstrates his longing for Betty.

#analysis of ysblf #armando ysblf #don armando #armando mendoza #betty #beatriz pinzon solano #betty pinzón solano #betty ysblf #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea

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emmaannaelisabeth · 3 years

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okay friends, this starts sad but turns into a crackhead comedy, so please continue reading. (tw: death) and for some reason, inej has spiderman's powers (kinda) which gives us a spider wraith, you're very welcome, yes. it's a marvel crossover-ish with ghosts.

and she dropped kaz, so he disappeared-ish and dirtyhands took over him or something - winter soldier feeling here y'all. and well, i don't know why pekka shows up, but he does. and this is crazy but oh god i wrote it so please read it anyway

~ 3,5k words of PAIN and CROW CRACKHEAD ENERGY

it's been a year now since she failed him, since she couldn’t catch him, since she saw him fall, and she knows she should stop looking for him in the street, that she should tell her heart to stop hoping, she should give up. kaz is dead.

he fell, he got shoved off the bridge and her webs couldn’t reach him. he disappeared in the waves.

and that's when she sees him, when she’s just about to give up all hope that he might have made it somehow. she sees him walking on the street, cane in hand, hat on his head. "kaz!" she gasps, throws a web and swings down next to him.

he turns around slowly, and looks at her. she can barely see him through the tears in her eyes. "I thought I lost you", she says and throws her arms around him, buries her head in his jacket, being selfish, not caring that he might not want her close.

"you're okay", she sobs, lets her fingers spread over his back, just to feel that he is really there.

kaz frowns and shrugs her off him. "who the hell are you?"

"kaz, it's me", inej says and puts a hand on his arm. coldly, he looks at it, before grabbing her wrist tightly and tilting his head to the side. "what do you want?"

"kaz, kaz, what's going on? you were, you were gone and i-"

"i've never seen you before", he snorts and raises his eyebrows, gives the smallest shake of his head. he lets go of her hand and goes, leaves her, disappears.

***

inej rushes home, tells jesper and wylan. "he's alive, I'm telling you, I saw him!"

they tell her she's seeing things, "you're not making any sense", jesper says, turns his gun in his hand. "kaz is dead, you saw him fall." he meets her gaze; they all know what he’s not saying. you dropped him. but then his face softens, concern glitters in his eyes. "don't fall with him."

***

so inej goes to nina, tries to explain. nina looks at her with sad eyes. "inej, I-" if anyone knows how it feels like to lose the one they love, it's nina. "I know it's hard, but at some point, we all need to move on."

“but nina, I saw him, it was him”, inej says, throws her arms out to the sides.

“if you say so…” she pauses, knows inej isn’t dumb, isn’t lying. “I’ll help you find him.”

***

they go back to wylan and jesper - if they are going to find kaz, make him remember, they need them too. as they enter, nina stops dead in her tracks. “wait”, she breathes. “no…” she gasps, rushes up the stairs.

“nina, what?”

nina hears it beat, slower and slower, fading.

badum, badum, ba...dum..ba..

nononono.

then it stops. ….dum… and it’s quiet. and she almost falls, it’s suddenly so empty.

nonono. NO.

she walks into the living room and feels the tears well up in her eyes. red hair, wet red hair. even redder with the blood in it. no.

she hears jesper sob, he’s sitting with wylan in his arms, his hand on wylan’s cheek, his thumb moving up and down the curve of his cheekbone. right where he always used to kiss him.

“jesper, what-” she breathes, hears inej whelp as she enters the room.

jesper looks up, distraught, and then he shoots a glare at someone across the room.

nina looks up, and her breath catches. it’s him, it’s kaz.

***

“kaz”, inej whispers. “kaz, what happened?” tears prick in her eyes.

he looks at her, rolls his eyes, oh not you again, raises his eyebrows, nods to wylan’s lifeless body.

“i earned my living”, he says, way too casually. “there’s five hundred thousand kruge right there.”

“murderer”, jesper hisses, his eyes burn behind the glittering tears, he almost glows with hate. he holds wylan’s body close to his, as if the act alone could bring him back, blow life into his heart.

kaz offers him a half smile. “i like the sound of that.”

jesper looks like he could explode… or shatter. inej can’t decide which fits better.

“kaz-”

“who the hell is kaz?” he says, spins around to face her. inej straightens her back, how is he so tall, all of a sudden?

her gaze wanders down to his blood stained hands, his ungloved hands. something is wrong. he didn’t flinch when she touched him, and he doesn’t wear gloves, and he doesn’t seem to remember any of them.

and he fucking killed wylan.

inej swallows. “he’s our friend”, she says. “he helped us all, he saved me.”

kaz snorts. “waste of time.”

inej feels his words like a stab to the guts, but she continues talking. “please, kaz, i know you’re still there.”

within the blink of an eye, kaz has closed his hand around her throat and slammed her into the closest wall. she gasps and looks into his eyes. she can see something glitter behind the coldness, she can see brekker in there, somewhere.

“you know me”, she gasps. kaz clenches his jaw, smiles - it’s more of a baring of teeth than a smile. he shakes his head.

“no, darling”, he squeezes harder. “i don’t.”

“kaz!” nina says, holds up her hands. “don’t.” she shakes her head. but kaz just smiles.

quick as lightning, he flips up the gun from behind his coat and pulls the trigger. nina falls to the ground, clutching her stomach.

jesper whimpers, sits on the floor, unable to move - his body is too heavy, to heavy by grief and pain. he isn’t strong enough to leave wylan’s side.

inej throws a look at nina, and then she snaps. she jumps, kicks kaz in the stomach with her knee, pushes him off her, hits him, makes him fall, presses her knee to his chest, pinning him down.

“spider”, he hisses, but inej doesn’t listen, she puts her dagger right to his throat and leans over him, fury burning in her chest.

“what did you do?” she snarls. “do you know what you did!?”

kaz raises an eyebrow, talks through gritted teeth. “i don’t care.”

then, he pushes her off him, and inej falls down on the floor. he kicks the dagger out of her hand and raises the gun at her. and inej looks around quickly, shoots a web at the table and pulls it towards her, pushing him, making him fall on his back, hit his head. the bullet buries deep into the ceiling.

“nina”, inej whispers, looks over at her.

“I’m fine”, she pants, still working on closing the wound.

inej makes her way over to kaz, another of her saints now in her hand. this time, she lets the tip cut his skin, just so he feels it, just so he wakes up.

“you almost killed her”, she hisses, almost spits in his face.

kaz looks at her. his eyes glitter with something new, and he almost looks… scared.

“who the hell is kaz?” he asks calmly, confusion staining his brow.

inej feels herself weaken, she takes away her knife. instead, she puts her hand on his cheek. kaz stares at her in confusion. “he’s… he’s the treasurer of my heart.”

kaz blinks slowly, looks away. “that line”, he says. “have I heard it before?”

inej nods, tears in her eyes. come back, come back, come back to me.

“who are you?” he squints his eyes.

“I’m the one who helped you.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“don’t you remember kaz? please, try for me, try”, she begs, strokes his cheek with her hand, just like she wished she could’ve done before.

then, kaz’s jaw drops. his gaze freezes at something behind inej, and she turns to look at it too, but all she can see is empty space.

“jordie”, he whispers. he shudders, tilts his face away from her hand.

I can help you, a young woman says in his head, and then there’s purple everywhere. a young boy with dark skin gambles before his inner gaze. a girl who loved waffles… when did he eat waffles last?

papers in his hand, a cane, a crow, he can hear his own voice in his head, asking someone to buy him a new hat. kaz lifts his hand to inej’s cheek, looks at her, confused, was that you?, and then, he rips his hand away, gasping, feeling sick. what the hell?

and then, a redheaded boy.

CRACK-

kaz’s eyes widen, and he sits up, shoves inej out of the way. “wylan”, he whispers, stumbles to his legs and feels his soul shatter as he lays eyes on the boy in jesper’s arms.

“I- I-” kaz stutters, feels the tears burn in his eyes, he feels tired, he wants to sit down. it's probably the grief. “jesper, I- I didn’t-” he takes a step forward, attempting to kneel beside them.

“don’t”, jesper hisses. “don’t you dare even look at him.”

“jesper, I never wanted-”

“you fucking killed him.”

“jesper”, inej says. “he wasn’t him, it wasn’t kaz!”

jesper doesn’t listen, he carefully lays down wylan on the floor and stands up. kaz doesn’t even have time to blink before jesper has thrown himself at him and pinned him against the wall, his forearm crossed over kaz’s throat.

kaz closes his eyes, shudders at having jesper this close; tears roll down his cheeks. “I swear I would never-”

“he’s dead”, jesper whimpers. “you shot him.” he blinks the tears away and reassures his grip on kaz. “I should kill you.”

“jesper-” kaz stops talking. his face screws up with pain and he bows his bows his head, accidentally leans onto jesper’s arm. his knees buckle and he slides down against the wall, panting.

“jesper!” inej shouts.

jesper lets go of kaz, almost as if he’d been burned. “I didn’t do anything”, he says, voice high pitched.

inej goes down on her knee beside kaz, checking him up and down, desperately. her gaze freezes at his waist. behind the dark coat, there’s a big tear in the vest, a gaping hole in his skin, red blossoming like a flower in summer.

no… no, no, no.

she looks down at her knee, at her blades. her world grows cold, she did this, when she pushed him off of her.

“nina”, she says, voice high, strangled.

nina says something, but inej can only hear the words that are passing kaz’s lips. “matthias?”

he can see the fjerdan boy behind jesper, kaz can see his strong build and his golden hair. “it wasn’t nina’s time yet, but maybe it’s yours, brother.”

brother? how could the person who called him demon, call him brother.

“what’s happening?”, kaz asks.

“you’re going to be fine”, inej says, somewhere above him.

matthias looks calm, he smiles softly. “I wanna show you something”, he says.

“you know you’re starting to look like Da, right?” a familiar voice says, and as matthias steps to the side, kaz’s weak heart jumps.

“jordie?”

jordie smiles brightly and walks up to him. “saints, you’re so old”, he says and reaches out a hand to correct kaz’s tie. kaz can’t believe this, what is this, what is happening?

he can hear inej… somewhere, and he can feel hands on him, he can see jesper’s blurred out outline.

“do I have to leave?” he asks.

“I’m afraid so”, matthias says, nods.

“I- no, please”, kaz turns his head, tries to look at inej, but all he can see is black dark hair, blurring together.

“you’ll be able to keep her safe, i promise.”

“we can play tricks with her”, jordie laughs and pushes on kaz’s shoulder. kaz raises one eyebrow.

“I’m not haunting her.”

jordie laughs again, and matthias chuckles softly. then, kaz’s eyes fall on someone in the background.

“i know you didn’t mean it, kaz”, he says, dries the tears off his face with the back of his hand. the redhead is suddenly standing right there, meeting kaz’s gaze. wylan bites his quivering lip and looks at his body on the floor, then at the blurred out jesper.

“but did you really have to?” wylan’s words utterly shatters kaz’s heart. “I was… happy”, the boy says. “I love him.”

“Wy”, kaz whispers. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did-”

“I do, kaz”, wylan says, sniffles, tries to smile. “but I do, i actually do, i can. I know it wasn’t you.”

“I know you loved him and I wish I could-”

“huh”, wylan chuckles. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“say what?”

“ask for forgiveness.”

kaz swallows. “do you forgive me?”

wylan huffs, breathes in slowly. “always.”

kaz smiles and then the world unblurs for a moment, and he sees inej right in front of him. “kaz, kaz, kaz come on”, she mumbles, claps his cheek. he knows he should pull away, feel sick by her touch, but… he doesn’t.

there are tears on her face. he frowns weakly. “don’t cry for me”, he whispers and lifts his bloodied hand to her cheek, dries off a tear.

and then he can hear her shout his name, and the world goes black for a moment, for a beat. jordie takes his hand, and then the world is clear, and he’s standing there, looking down at himself.

“see, wasn’t that hard”, jordie smirks, elbows kaz lightly in the side. kaz feels numb. I really look like Da. (especially with the blood)

inej cries and pulls kaz’s body into her arms, sobs into his clothes, buries her face in his neck. jesper turns away, wraps his arms around himself, and nina sits on the floor, on her knees, bloodied hands in her lap, head bent back, tears on her cheeks.

matthias sighs and walks up to her, puts a hand on his shoulder. and, almost as if she could feel him there, she leans her head against his arm.

“inej”, nina then says, reaches out and puts a hand on inej’s shoulder. “i can’t tell you how, I just know, I just know they’re okay. they’re safe with matthias.”

matthias smirks at kaz, as he walks up to them. he ruffles jordie’s hair and pulls wylan in for a hug. “wylan”, he says. “why don’t you teach jordie how to play the flute?”

jordie’s mouth falls open, he looks at wylan with big eyes. “you can do that?”

wylan smiles smugly, looks up at kaz with a raised eyebrow. “I sure can.”

kaz gives the smallest, most panicked shake of his head, wylan has ever seen anyone do. do NOT teach him that. I swear, wylan, if you… but jordie is sold. and kaz sighs deeply.

“I thought you wouldn’t even associate with my ghost, helvar”, he says.

“I will if jordie plays the flute.”

“saints”, kaz mutters and rolls his eyes.

***

but then, matthias tenses and his gaze snaps back to the door. wylan frowns. “matthias what…”

“run”, matthias simply says. “nina, run.”

nina’s head flies up and she looks around. inej is still holding kaz, and jesper just stands there, staring at wylan.

“inej, jesper, we need to go”, she says. “now.”

but neither of them will leave their hearts on the floor like this, held only by the arms of their own blood, comforted by their own coldness spreading within.

inej shivers, her head flies up, her body almost tingles, as her spider sense rings the alarm bells in her mind. but she shakes her head. “I can’t just leave him…”

“we’ll come back for them”, nina says, not knowing if they actually will.

“I’m not leaving wylan”, jesper whispers, his voice empty.

***

matthias sighs, paces around the room. “what’s wrong?” wylan asks.

“someone’s coming”, jordie says, stares at the door. “and they need to get out of here, now.”

jordie turns around looks his brother in the eyes, he teaches him how to make inej hear his whispers, just the way jordie whispered to kaz.

and kaz tells her to go, and at first she’s terrified, but as kaz talks again, she begins to understand.

and then wylan learns to whisper in jespers mind. jesper starts crying. nina smiles sadly, looks into thin air, right where matthias is standing.

***

inej can’t take both nina and jesper with her through the window at the same time - she’ll have to come back for nina. nina tells them it’s fine, she’ll manage.

and then, there’s a person in the door. “saints”, she mumbles.

“who do we- oh”, the man in the door says.

pekka rollins walks into the room and lets his gaze fall upon kaz’s bloodied form on the floor, and then on wylan’s crimson chest.

“you?” he looks at nina. she straightens her back, blinks slowly, tilts her head to the side.

“yes.” she smiles softly, looks at kaz’s body. “a shame”, she sighs, frowns and looks bakc at pekka. “a shame on such a pretty thing, don’t you think?”

pekka smiles. kaz snorts, raises his eyebrows. oh really??

“and van eck’s son?” pekka nods towards wylan’s still figure.

“oh”, nina looks over her shoulder. “yes, five hundred thousand for the boy and a million for the scoundrel.”

wylan crosses his arms. “five hundred? I’m worth more than that.”

kaz looks at him, raises an eyebrow. “he offered me a hundred, I wanted a million, I got five hundred.”

wylan shoots him a glare. “rude.”

“shut up”, matthias hisses and give them both an angry gaze, sharp as steel.

pekka nods slowly, tilts his head to the side. “well, miss, how would you like to work for with the dime lions, and not for van eck?”

nina feels her stomach turn, but she smiles. “and what exactly would that engagement look like?”

“what the hell, nina”, matthias mutters, and he rolls his eyes as she smirks at pekka.

“I can offer you more than money and protection.”

kaz stares. “for once, we agree, helvar”, he snorts. “what the hell nina, say no.”

“I know”, nina says, takes a step back. “that’s why I say no", she tells pekka.

kaz draws in a sharp breath. “she was on thin fucking ice.” matthias kicks him in the side with his elbow.

“I said no, you ass”, nina says in her mind, and kaz freezes. what the-

matthias just laughs. “she’s special”, he says. "be careful with what you say", he whispers.

"heard you, helvar", nina thinks.

kaz smirks back at matthias, for some reason he doesn’t look that bothered by having pekka in front of him.

but jordie, jordie looks like he could explode anytime, as if he was just about to burst into flames.

kaz bends down next to his brother. “don’t worry about him, nina will take care of rollins.”

“I’m not killing him, I’ve seen enough dead bodies today”, nina thinks.

“excuse me”, wylan says. “have respect for the dead.”

“you’re the one to talk”, nina thinks.

"you're the one alive."

matthias laughs, it's a deep warm murmur.

“he made me leave”, jordie mumbles, curls his fists.

“jordie”, kaz begins. “it’s-”

“remember how you saw me sometimes?” jordie frowns and tilts his head to the side, looks at kaz.

kaz nods. “didn’t amuse me much at the time.”

jordie smirks, rolls his shoulders. since he’s been dead the longest, he knows the tricks.

with the small twitch of a hand he makes himself visible, like a grey see-through shadow. pekka lays eyes on him and takes a step back.

“you took everything from me”, jordie hisses, voice ancient, chilly like frosty night air. pekka shivers.

nina turns, lays eyes on the boy but pretends that she didn’t see him.

“I don’t even know who you are”, pekka says, fear glistens in his eyes.but he does, jordie knows he does.

“who are you talking to?” nina asks.

pekka stares at her, points at jordie. “him?”

“who?” she looks around. “oh.” she laughs. “you mean the boy?" she huffs. "he's my little friend, you see."

pekka grits his teeth. “devil”, he growls.

“almost”, nina grins. “would you like to dance with me?”

“excuse me”, matthias cuts in. “jordie how did you do that?”

“witch”, pekka breathes and backs out of the room. jordie and nina follow slowly. “go away, go away!”

pekka stumbles backwards and hits the reeling of the stairs, falls over it, crashes on the floor, far below.

“whoops”, nina says and looks down.

kaz huffs, ruffles jordie’s hair when he comes back. “feeling better now, aye?”

“definitely”, jordie chuckles.

wylan nods slowly, lips pressed together. “he had it coming.”

matthias stares at them all. “you’re all horrible.” he looks jordie up and down. “you’re thirteen. you should be playing and laughing and having fu-”

jordie sighs. “i’m older than him.” he points at kaz without looking at his brother.

matthias looks at kaz, sighs, as if he'd given up all hope. “it’s in the blood, isn’t it?” he rolls his eyes. “demons.”

***

kaz whispers to her to come back, and within a minute, inej is there with jesper. jesper, who looks like he’s thrown up at least twice when swinging with her.

“okay, so you do it just like this”, jordie says and shows them how to turn visible.

matthias is first, and inej’s jaw drops. “what- matthias?” she sniffles.

he smiles softly at her and walks up to nina. “long time, no see”, he says to them both.

jordie comes after. “hello sister”, he says and walks up to inej, a beaming smile on his lips. inej covers her mouth with her hands.

“he thinks your nose is cute”, jordie whispers with his hand lifted up to his mouth, so that kaz won’t hear.

“hey”, kaz says and hits jordie on the shoulder. when he does, the world pops, and kaz realises that shit I just turned visible.

“hi”, he says, frowns and smiles awkwardly, his cheeks grow hotter than fire.

inej almost loses her balance. “kaz?” she whispers. he nods.

“i want to kill you”, she says, a smile on her lips, tears in her eyes.

“you did”, he smirks and corrects a strand of hair behind her ear. “my spider.”

inej turns to matthias. “is it really you?” she asks.

matthias nods. “not in the flesh, but in spirit.”

she laughs, kaz’s stomach flutters at the sound. “has djel treated you well?” she asks, looks at matthias.

“actually, i never met him”, he answeres, shrugs.

jesper stares at them all, his jaw unlocked from the rest of his head, hanging low, open. “what the-”

and then wylan stumbles into view. “yes!” he exclaims. “yes, I did it, I did…” his gaze lands on jesper.

a wide smile forms on wylan’s lips and he leaps forward, right into jesper’s arms. jesper sinks to the floor, eyes wide and chest not moving. nina huffs. “first time?”

wylan goes down on his knees beside jesper, buries his face in jesper’s short hair, kisses his temple, his forehead, his cheek. he cradles jesper’s head in his arms, presses it against his chest.

jesper sobs and hugs him back, as tightly as he can, despite wylan being half see-through and not really that physical as a real person.

“what-" jordie pauses, leans towards kaz, a confused frown on his face. “-are they doing?”

kaz huffs. “they’re being path-”

“they love-” inej lingers on the word, glares at kaz, who tries to hide his smirk. “-each other”, she explains to jordie.

“disgusting.” jordie shudders.

“no, it’s-”, inej stops when she sees kaz tap jordie on the shoulder, and she screws her gaze right through him. kaz mouths a “what?” and tries to hide his grin.

“you’re hopeless”, she huffs, shakes her head. and i love you for it, she thinks.

“I know”, he says, and winks at her.

#kaz brekker #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #mattias helvar #jesper fahey #nina zenik #jordie rietveld #pekka rollins #fanfcition #six of crows #soc #six of crows duology #crooked kingdom #crackhead energy #ghosts #i don't know what this is to be honest #but here it is

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praphit · 4 years

Text

WandaVision: When you can’t let go of that robo-lovin.

So, I just finished watching "WandaVision", and I must say, right off the bat

- I LOVED IT!

Disney Plus is finally paying off. I'm in the group of peeps who got DP, not for the mouse, but for the ones whom the mouse is in bed with, and most recently on Mickey's playtime Marvel List - Wanda Maximoff and her robo-boy toy VISION... or is that “THE Vision”? - that seems kinda ostentatious, but whatever.

When I first heard that Wanda was getting a series, I said "Who cares?" I don't care bout no Wanda! What has she been other than a weird pest?

Let's review:

She tried to kill the Avengers, she accidentally injures and kills innocent people, she was getting in the way, so Tony Stark had to get his CPU (Vision) to babysit her, she falls in love with the CPU - can we talk about how strange this is? I didn't say wrong, just different, cuz honestly, we may be headed there soon. That movie "Her" might be a reality with how tech is going these days.

But, imagine I come to your home and fall in love with your laptop (which messes everything up for you with all your devices and your social media), THEN (as Wanda did with Vision), I run off on some romantic journey with all of your devices. Imagine how Tony would have felt, if he was still with us.

She had one job when it came to Thanos, and it ended up not mattering.

Then, went full rage on the wrong Thanos.

Idk if that’s a look (Thanos) pain, release, of he’s listening to his jam. Kinda looks like he’s saying “JESUS”. But, Wanda is pissed.

Wanda: "You took everything from me!"

Thanos: "Lady, I don't even know you!"

I didn't care about Wanda. But, damn, Marvel is so good that in one episode they made me care; one trailer, really.

If you had not seen the trailer for this series, you might be confused by the first episode.

You might even ask yourself - "What the bleep is this nonsense?!" We want heroes vs villains. We want super-powered explosions. We want capes, ridiculously tight clothes, bulky armor, and anything else that makes no sense to fight in.

You're giving me "Bewitched"?

I DID see the trailer, so I knew going in that it would be a slow burn with some nostalgia, some quirks, and some eeriness; right up my alley.

The change in Tv decade styles btw *chef kiss*

I figured that they'd be trapped in some mysterious, magical world - which they are...

Unless you're super geeky with the funny books, there's no way you'll see what's coming in this mystery.

And it IS a mystery, not only to the audience, but for the characters involved in this show. Don't nobody know what the hell is going on.

But, LaWanda and Vishawn

(sorry, I just wanted to use this pic - Ha! Y'all are crazy.)had help figuring things out:

Rambo

Yeah, it's actually Monica Rambeau,

but... admit it, some of you kept thinking about Rambo too, right?? No offense to this actress, but I'd rather see old man Sly play Rambo, and HIM be in this mysterious WandaVision town. Let's get Disney a lil bloody. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Marvel WILL BE venturing into multiple universes soon, so perhaps Rambo finds his way to team up with The Punisher? Huh?? YEAH!

But, no... Rambeau (meh No personality, but whatever).

Randall Park -

He's that person we all know who has made us laugh so much in life, that they don't even need to say anything anymore; you look at them and laugh. I love this dude!

Kat Dennings -

I remember liking her more in the Thor movies. I found her annoying, this time around. She joins the mystery to figure tech stuff out, and she's a doctor or something (don't you forget it!). She also asks the team she just meets to get her some coffee, and acts like they're disrespecting HER, by their lack of response. I know she's a doctor and all, but damn! Imagine some electrician comes to your place to serve YOU, they're condescending to you, and then they ask you for some coffee. Get the hell outta here!

Oh, and there's a dude named “Director Dick”. That's my name for him, but the name fits.

The people in this town are acting out as if they've been scripted for some show. And all of these characters, AND US, get to figure it out together - through antics from different times in Tv culture.

Times sure were different back in the day:

No social justice issues implanted or cursing or sex or drugs... now, I'm not saying it was a better time, just a different one :) A time when dad jokes ruled! Simple times! Ignorance was bliss. But, it kinda wasn't - not really.

It's like having an animal die on your property somewhere, and it starts to stink. You COULD find the truth of the stench... or light candles everywhere. Some really strong candles - maybe some of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles.

Though the stench might get covered up, the problem is still there. At some point, your kids could find the dead rotting animal... maybe start playing with it... you get the point.

In this show, the townspeople's minds have been taken over by someone or something, and it's torturous for them. So... bliss on the surface, but... not so much, going deeper. I tell you all of this, plus great production in each epi, a good slow-burn mystery, and fun with comic characters in a way we haven't seen before on screen, and hell yeah - Grade: A series.

Now... spoilers.

You might want to leave now.

People, Wanda is the villain here. I'm not sure if that's the message the writers are trying to convey or not, but I don't care; she is the clear villain here.

Here’s Wanda reading some Hell book, conjuring some dark spirits - nbd.

We are rooting for her throughout this show; even after we find out that she has been (even if not maliciously) controlling every one, we still root for her.

I'm not saying that's bad, but we can't forget about what she has done! Remember, I said that the mind control was torturous for the townspeople.

There's a very emotional moment at the end of this series between Wanda and Vision, and between them and their kids (yeah, they have kids... that's a whole other thing). This moment is well done and touching. There's even a bad ass fight between Wanda and the "true... villain"? - of this story. I'll get to her in a sec (There’s a badass Vision fight scene as well).

I loved all of that! But, at the end of the day...

I know Wanda is grieving and all, we all grieve, but we all don't, in our grief, take a whole town hostage, torture the people, all while playing house with our family. That's kinda sick, no??

Are we doing a girl-power thing? or a “witches are people too” thing? or “but she’s doing it all for her family” thing (yeah, they’re not actually real, but whatever)? I don’t know.

I'm not sure that we know what a villain is anymore. It used to be clear - the guy with the beard was the bad guy, or the guy wearing the black outfit was the bad guy, or the people who aren't Americans are the bad guys :)

But, movies like "Joker" and "Deadpool" and Harley's joint have confused some.

Who else would be the villain? There's a character, the villain (i guess), a witch named Agatha Harkness, played by Kathryn Hahn

Here she is saying “I’m the villain? Really? What about her?!!”

- she's excellent btw; def the highlight of this show; her and Paul Bettany's hair game.

But, let's compare:

Agatha:

betrays her coven back in the day, sure, but why you bringing up old shit?

She allows Wanda to play out this fantasy for a while, and even played along. She could have just killed her when she was ignorant; that's what I would have done. She eventually shows Wanda the truth (granted, she then wants Wanda's power, but hey, everything has a price. And for all we know, she would have used all of that power to... cure the worlds diseases or something... though prob not:). Annnd maybe she killed an imaginary puppy. Convo for another time: if you kill something that's not real, does it matter??

That's it!

She didn't (like Wanda): abduct a town, torture its people, bring Vision back from the dead (kinda), endanger soldiers who were just doing their jobs, create weird fantasies (And did she have sexy time with previously dead, fake Vision? This thing gets even weirder if she did. But, let's not go down that path.) Oh, and she magically punted a black woman (Rambo) the length of a football field just for her asking Wanda some questions.

When the townspeople finally regain their minds (Lord knows how long it's been), they look at her with disdain, and I don't blame them. And what does Wanda do?? - shrug, put on a hoodie, and fly off - to break into somebody's home and read some devil book.

Where’s cancel culture in this universe?

I know she made us feel, but I ask again, who's the villain here?

Still Grade A stuff for me (again, I loved this!), but c'mon, people.

We get a glimpse of Captain Marvel 2 as well. My fingers are crossed. I actually liked the first movie. But, many others did not, and one of the reasons - Captain Marvel doesn't have much of a personality, and another - she's too powerful (no risk).

So, to answer the critics, we have Monica Rambeau - another ridiculously super-powered hero, with no personality. So, two unrelatable characters flying around in space, as Sam L Jackson tries not to curse. But, if Marvel can make me care about evil ass Wanda, I'll still hold out hope for Capt Marvel 2.

#wandavision #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #paul bettany #praphit #bewitched #disney #Marvel Comics #Movie Reviews #comicbooks #cancel culture #witchcraft #kathryn hahn #rambo #captain marvel 2 #action #mystery

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eternalstann · 5 years

Text

Celebrity

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: swearing?? Flufff

Summary: You and Tom just so happen to each other’s celebrity crushes 🥰

"Y/N, Y/N!" The photographers called out as you walked along the red carpet. You loved your job but the photographers and paparazzi were endlessly annoying. It was your third VMA's. You'd been a very successful singer for a while now, but this year you'd done your first big movie. You'd gotten nominated for 4 awards. You gave one last smile before walking into the building. Your manager walking to your side immediately.

"You're performing at 10:15 so enjoy the show while you can- I'll come get you around 9:30. You're sitting in the front row. We wanted to push the fact that you're focusing on acting right now so we sat you next to other actors." He glanced at his phone, "Brie Larson on your left and - Tom Holland on your right." You tried to hold in your excitement at the names he said. You were a huge fan of Marvel movies, so to sit next to Captain Marvel and Spiderman?! You were ecstatic. "Thank you Donovan" you spoke, kissing him on the cheek before walking off to mingle.

You snuck behind your friend Shawn Mendes when you saw him slapping up Drake. "Omg my two favorite Canadians!" You joked, hugging Shawn and then Drake. "Y/N, you look incredible" Shawn spoke, gripping your waist and taking in your appearance. "Like a snack" Drake added, snatching you from Shawn and twirling you around. "Thank you guys! And a snack?! Y'all look like full course meals and dessert" They both laughed at your comment. "So what's the moves for tonight mamacita?" Drake asked and you smirked, "You already know, everyone back at my place for the after party" you exclaimed, already excited. "Aye!" They both cheered in unison. It was very well known you threw the best parties in Hollywood as of late. "Text me and let me know if you need anything love" Shawn hugged you again, and told him you would before walking to your seat.

You felt eyes on your back, but when you turned around there was no one there.

Little did you know your seat neighbor Tom Holland had watched your whole interaction. He was chatting with Jake Gyllenhaal, Jacob and his brother Harry when he saw you. "Holy shit, that's Y/N" Jacob whispered, pointing over at you. "Every song she makes is an absolute banger! Tom go introduce us" Harry joined in. "No fucking way she's literally talking to Drake, I can't go over there" Toms heart ached watching you giggle with the two men. He'd literally never spoken to you, but he'd developed quite the crush on you. He watched all your interviews, and loved your music. You made him feel like he was in elementary school again. "Just go!" Jake exclaimed, shoving him in your direction.

Tom stumbled before catching his stride and following behind you. He didn't know if he should jog to catch up with you, or do an awkward speed walk, so he just kept his normal pace. He mentally kicked himself when he didn't make it to you before you got to your seat. He tried to causally walk past you as you sat down, but did a double take and tripped over his own feet when he saw his face on the chair beside you. Tom literally wished the floor would swallow him up so he could disappear forever when he hit the ground in front of you.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" You ask the man laying at your feet, and you could hardly contain your excitement when you realized it was none other than Tom fucking Holland. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine" he insisted, pushing himself up with the help of your extended arm. Once he's off the ground and in his chair you introduce yourself. "Hey, I'm Y/N" you beam at him, turning your body to face him. "I know who you are, I think everyone does" he laughs, reaching out his hand for you to shake. You ignore his cue, pulling him in for a hug. "You smell really nice" he murmurs and it was your turn to laugh. "Thank you; it's so nice to meet you!" You tell him and he shakes his head. "Me?! It's nice to meet you! I'm a huge fan" he expresses and your heart races, he's a fan?

The next twenty minutes turn into a compliment competition; the two of you just spewing nice things to each other and laughing. You even joke through the start of the show, Brie shushing the two of you which only makes you laugh harder. "What are you doing tonight?" You ask him while a presenter was rambling on about something. "Nothing, why?" He quips back and he can feel himself start to sweat, were you going to ask him out?

"and the winner of the best collaboration award.....Y/N and Drake for Rewind!"

You were caught completely off guard, you and Tom both look at each other in shock. "That's you, get up there!" He exclaims, a wide smile on his face. He stands with you and walks you to the stage, he hands you off to Drake at the steps and you thank him. You reach the microphone and stand in front of the huge crowd, Drake next to you and begin to talk. "Wow, um, I really wasn't expecting this-" you cringe in your head, everyone says that- "but thank you all so much! We truly have the best fans in the world. Your support is unmatched and I love you all so much!" You cheer raising up your moon man and stepping aside to let Drake talk. You weren't even really listening to what he was saying, all you could focus on was Tom standing there staring at you with a face full of admiration. You didn't want to be corny but you were positive you were in love with him. And he looked really good. Like you wanted to tie him up keep him all to yourself good.

Next thing you know your being escorted off the stage and you hug your manager backstage. "Congratulations" he tells you and thank him, before turning to make your way back to your seat. "Girl where are you going? It's 9:26, you need to start getting ready" you sigh, you loved performing but you wanted to go back with Tom. You scroll through your Instagram while getting your hair done and see Brie Larsons story, you click on it. You smile at the selfie the two of you took. What you weren't expecting though was to see a video of you and Tom laughing together with the caption "get a room🤣🥴". You immediately go to your own profile and begin to go through your tagged pictures. A lot of you in your dress on the red carpet, screen caps of you and drake accepting the award and then boom; you and Tom. You click on reposts and screenshots of the video and read some of the captions.

'Yessss Y/N get that superhero dick!'

'Omg they look so good together- we have no choice but to stan'

'Ew bye he better stay away from the queen'

'and I oop-'

'Tom shooting his shot 👀'

'Thank you Brie Larson this is the content we deserve'

“She always fuck with white boys smh”

And so it begins you you think to yourself. You realize you never even followed Tom, on your real account at least. Only your account you use to lurk, so you press the button the blue button. Tom doesn't leave your mind the rest of the time you spend getting ready. You don't think about anything besides Tom until the time you start performing. And even then, you can't help but look for him in the crowd.

Your performance goes almost perfectly, you have the best adrenaline rush afterwards. But once again you're sat back in the hair and makeup chair. You're not gonna lie you probably needed it after how much you were sweating on stage. They bring out your dress, but it's a different one. A short backless white dress, much different from your earlier gown. "Donovan what is this?" You ask your manager. "Your dress for the party. We have to go make sure everything is all set- and yes I know you wanna go see your little boo thing Tom but we don't have time!" He replies, motioning for you to put on the dress. You groan and slip it on before following him out to the car waiting outside.

You get back to your house, doing a quick walk through to make sure everything is in place. Taste testing the food and liquor. You knew tonight was going to be crazy. Everyone would be amped up from the awards and live performances, you were starting to get excited. You were proud of your party throwing skills- until you realized you never got the chance to invite Tom. "Shit!" You shout, actually face palming. You pull out your phone and try to figure out the best way to get a hold of him. You text Zendaya- she would definitely have his number. Seven minutes go by with no response, the party starts in less than an hour. "Fuck it.." you mutter, opening Instagram and typing out a DM to Tom,

'Hey Tom, I'm throwing a party tonight and I would love for you to come. You can bring whoever you want. Hope to see you there!'

So basic, but it'd have to do. You didn't wanna look too thirsty or something. You sent the address in a separate message. You didn't even notice your leg bouncing up on down in anticipation, waiting for him to respond. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of your door opening and closing, then voices. It was Shawn, Drake and some of their friends. "Hey guys" you chirp and they come over to greet you. "Do either of you guys know Tom Holland?" You ask and they raise they're eyebrows. "No 'how are you?' Or anything first?" Drake would laugh you would just rolled your eyes, "I'm serious!"

"Spider-Man? No I don't know him, but we follow each other on Instagram" Shawn spoke. “Ughh you guys are no help-“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone dinging. It was Tom! You take a deep breath before opening the message.

“Oh I’ll absolutely be there, see you soon love. Thanks for the invite xx”

You could feel yourself swooning and let out a little squeal. “He’s coming!” You inform your guests before the doorbell rang again. You go to open it and this time there’s a multitude of people waiting to come in - not to mention the linebof black cars and limos in the round-about dropping off even more guests. Bella & Gigi Hadid, Niall Horan, Halsey, ASAP Rocky & Big Sean, Normani and more. You hug everyone who comes in, joking with Sean about his song playing through the speakers. You drink and talk with everyone, but you can’t help but keep glancing at the door. You were really waiting for one person. After half an hour you finally settle in, maybe he wasn’t coming.

You’re sitting on the couch, on Bella’s lap pretending to listen to Lewis Capaldi talk about how nervous he is for his U.S tour. Your attention is drawn to the door though when you hear a familiar laugh. “Tom!” You exclaim, unable to hide your excitement immediately going over to him. He hugs you and you wish he’d never let go. He does though before introducing you to his guests. “This is my brother Harry, and this is my friend Jacob” he informs you and you smile at both of them before embracing them as well. “It’s so great to meet you! Make yourselves at home, can I get you some drinks?” You inquire, gesturing towards the kitchen. “They got it” he spoke whisking you away.

“Listen, Y/N, I know you hear this all the time but I think you’re an amazing woman and I’d love to take you out sometime”

“I’d love that Tom!”

________________

PT 2 HERE!

lmaooo what a shitty ending, but I feel like this has potential to be a series but idk. I like Y/N and I like kind of shy Tom 🤧

Love you all, feel free to hmu ❤️

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland preference #thomas stanley holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #peter parker #spiderman #marvel #fanfiction

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idy-ll-ique · 4 years

Text

Holi Hai!

Pairing: Loki x Desi!F!Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: Pure Fluff

Requested: By @marvel-madness

Hi there! Could you do a Loki x Desi American!reader where she takes everyone to a holi festival? And it’s super adorable and kinda crack!fic at the same time?

Summary: Y/N, an American born Desi, takes her friends, the Avengers, to India to show them what a real party looks like.

Author's Note: Hi!!! A huge thanks to @marvel-madness for requesting this fic and sending the prompt! It was amazing to write! For the Indian friends, I used the names of my own friends (and I oop). I hope y'all desis reading this enjoy it! Sorry if it's crappy I tried my best—

---

Loki stared at his girlfriend of 8 months in confusion. He was confused as to why she was staring at the calendar so longingly. "Um, love, is anything—" She groaned loudly, startling him. "I wanna go! I wanna go home so bad! Haaye mein mar jawa…" That phrase was spoken in Punjabi, even though Loki knew his girlfriend was of Marathi origins.

He didn't understand it, but her sadness was clear. "What happened? Where do you want to go?" he asked soothingly, wrapping his arms around her. "Back to India! The festival of Holi is in a week and my family is inviting me. I want to go, but…" she sighed, turning around in his arms. Y/N was a second generation desi American, her parents having moved to New York.

Y/N was born here, but she had a lot of family back in India. She loved Bollywood, the Indian festivals, the culture, the food, everything. Every year, she went to India during the festival of Holi, it being her favorite one. This year, though, things seemed difficult. Now she was a part of the Avengers and had a lot of work. If only she could get a 2 week break.

"But what? You have to go! It's your favorite festival, you've told me that a hundred times," Loki scoffed as she buried her face in his chest. "I know! But the Avengers, my work…" she whined. "Don't worry about that, we'll be fine," Loki laughed. Suddenly, she had a brilliant idea. They should go to India with her! "Why don't you come with me?"

"Me? Uh… okay, I don't have plans, visiting India sounds nice…" Loki stammered, taken aback. "Not only you, all of you! Thor, Tony, Steve, Nat, Bruce, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Sam, Bucky… I'll take you to a brilliant Holi festival! You'll have a lot of fun," Y/N said excitedly, jumping up and down. Loki smiled softly at her excitement.

"Why don't we call a meeting and ask them?"

Fifteen minutes later, all the aforementioned people were assembled in the sitting room, smiling at the couple. "So, did Loki propose? Are you getting married? Is Y/N pregnant?" Loki and Y/N rolled their eyes at Tony's questions while the others laughed. "This one is pretty mild. I have a question to ask you all." Steve beckoned for Y/N to go on, everyone listening attentively.

"As you all know, the festival of Holi is a week away, and I've been to India for the festival every single year of my life. This year, too, there isn't a problem with me going there but I wanna ask… any of you interested in tagging along?" For a few seconds, all was silent. Y/N grew nervous, should she not have asked? She got startled badly when everyone cheered loudly.

"We're going to India! We're going to India! Finally!"

A wide smile bloomed on Y/N's face; she glanced at Loki to see him already looking at her with a smile of his own. "Okay, my dudes, start packing! We leave tomorrow! Can we borrow your private jets, Tones?" He agreed instantly, hugging Y/N. "We better get to packing," Steve laughed, running out of the room with Nat, Wanda, Sam and Bucky.

---

"Ugh… so… hot…"

"It was your idea to come to India, Y/N."

"Yeah, we feel fine."

Y/N glared at her teammates, which caused them to look at her smugly. Their jet had just landed at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj International Airport, in Mumbai. One of Y/N's relatives lived in a huge apartment complex in Mumbai, and she had invited their other relatives, too. Every year, that complex saw the best Holi party ever, complete with water, colours, bhaang, songs and dance.

Y/N had been there a couple times. The Avengers and herself had decided to stay at a nearby hotel. Being 12 people, they had booked 6 double rooms in one of the hotels at the airport, called Grand Hyatt. The entire trip was sponsored by Tony Stark. Since Tony and Bruce spoke Hindi a little bit and Y/N… well, she was Indian, they decided to get 3 cabs.

In one cab sat Loki, Y/N, Thor and Vision, in the second sat Tony, Steve, Wanda and Nat while in the third cab sat Bruce, Clint, Sam and Bucky. Their cab arrived at the hotel, they checked in and went to their rooms.

---

"Loki, Lokes, wakey-wakey!"

Loki blinked his eyes open at the persistent awakening, turning over on the hotel bed. Y/N grabbed his shoulder, shaking him. "What? It's… 7 in the morning!" he whined shamelessly, pushing her hands away. "It'll take us 15 minutes to reach the apartment complex but the celebrations start early there," Y/N insisted. He sighed, right, today was the day of Holi.

"Fine, I'm getting up," he muttered as he sat up. Y/N stood in front of him, wearing a white kurti and white pants underneath. She looked so beautiful, he couldn't resist pulling her on his lap. "Loki," Y/N chuckled bashfully as he kissed her cheek. She turned her head to face him and placed a proper kiss to his lips. "That dress is beautiful, like you," he whispered to her.

She giggled, giving him a hug. "Okay, go get ready, I need to wake the others up," she smiled, pushing away from him. He nodded and stood up, stretching. He picked up his suitcase which was kept in the corner of the room while Y/N left to wake the others up. He picked out a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

Y/N had explained to the others how wearing white during the festival was the best option. Everyone had brought along a white tee to wear. He first cleaned up and wore his clothes, finally sitting down to apply some oil to the exposed parts of his body. Y/N said it helped the colours come out faster. After preparing, he grabbed the room keys and left, locking the door.

---

"Y/N! How are you? I thought you wouldn't visit this year," Krsna, one of Y/N's friends, grinned as she moved to hug her. The Avengers quietly stood behind, taking in all the beautiful sights. The buildings were decorated, there was a drinks table nearby, the colours were neatly kept on another table and nearly 30 other people there. Many children, a few adults and even fewer oldies.

Since Y/N visited the apartment complex nearly every single year, you could say she practically grew up with the kids there, meaning Krsna and a few others. They had formed a strong bond.

Most of the kids were staring at these foreigners in shock and awe. "Hell no! I wouldn't miss my favorite festival for anything. Meet my friends." Krsna gathered a few of her friends too, namely Shruti, Drishti, Harsh and Ritvik. "This is Loki," Y/N introduced first. Loki moved forward to wrap his arms around his girl from behind, smiling at her Indian friends.

"Oooh," Harsh smirked, which earned him a slap on the arm from Krsna. "Kadhi pasun?" Drishti asked cheekily, crossing her arms. "Since 8 months," Y/N replied, shaking her head. She quickly introduced the others too. They were a bit surprised, because holy hell, the Avengers but they got over their shock immediately. "This place looks nice," Wanda commented.

"Thank you! We usually start preparing a week before Holi," Ritvik grinned. Harsh, Drishti and Ritvik decided to give the Avengers a tour of the apartment complex and they readily agreed to go along with them. Loki, Y/N, Tony, Natasha, Krsna and Shruti decided to stay back. "Tujhya mom dad la mahiti aahe?" Shruti questioned, motioning towards Loki.

"Ho! Tyana kahi farak nahi padla," Y/N laughed, sending a smile in Loki's direction. "New York ka kya? Isne hi kiya tha na? News mein dekha meine…" Krsna asked worriedly. "Don't worry about that! Abhi thik ho gaya hai ye…" Y/N winked. Loki was trying his hardest to decipher what they were saying, but all in vain. As Tony stood to the side, listening to the three ladies talking in their native tongue, he noticed a few people walking up to him.

They were small kids, around 8-9 years old. "Happy Holi!" one boy grinned, raising his colour filled hands up to wipe them on Tony's cheeks. Tony grinned broadly, taking some colour to return the favor. "Happy Holi, kid!" he said happily. Natasha joined him, applying some red colour to the kids' cheeks. The kids led them somewhere and the two of them went readily.

Y/N looked around the place, trying to find her friends. She smiled proudly when she saw everyone enjoying themselves. A few of them were talking to the adults, most of them were playing with the kids and Wanda was following Drishti, who was teaching her a dance step to the songs that were playing. The scene warmed her heart. As she enjoyed the scene, a water balloon collided hard with her back.

She turned, shocked, only for Loki to cover her face in pink colour. He ruffled her hair, screaming 'Happy Holi'. "Grr, get back, a-hole!" she screamed, quickly wiping her face before she took off running after him. Krsna handed her a water balloon and with expert precision, Y/N threw it at Loki. It hit his back. He turned around and smirked at her.

She grabbed a handful of colour and went to each of her friends, applying colour to their faces and wishing them a happy holi. She chatted with some of the aunties of the society, and also wished her relatives. Soon, the volume of the songs increased and party, holi songs started playing. The first song was Balam Pichkari. Y/N cheered loudly, dancing along with some of the others.

"Balam pichkari, jo tune mujhe maari, toh seedhi saadhi chori sharabi ho gayi!" Y/N sang along, enjoying very much. Loki stood to the side and took out his phone, discreetly taking a few photos as she enjoyed. By the end of 2 hours, all the Avengers were soaked in water, every single colour visible on their clothes, their faces and their hair. They were a bit drunk, having had nearly 4 glasses of bhaang each. Still, they had huge grins on their faces.

"Stay for lunch! We also organize lunch! After lunch and ice cream, we also have a game of housie but I'd understand if you—" Y/N scoffed, cutting off Ritvik's trail of words. "We're staying for as long as we can! We'll be back in about an hour, after cleaning up." She checked the time, it was 12 noon. "Sure, sure. We'll be waiting. Bye!" Harsh, Krsna, Shruti, Drishti and Ritvik waved as the Avengers walked out of the complex.

"Did you enjoy?" Y/N asked the Avengers immediately. "Of course we did! This was the most fun I've had in years. I wanna celebrate Holi every year now," Wanda squealed. Everyone agreed with her. "See? Indian festivals, always the best," Y/N winked. They booked cabs, went to their hotels and cleaned up, taking a bath and wearing fresh clothes.

They went back to the apartment complex just in time for lunch. Everyone there had also cleaned up. As Y/N watched her friends mingle with her Indian friends, she made up her mind— to bring the Avengers to every single Holi party from that year onwards.

---

A/N: Yeeeee!!!! I'm sad because I couldn't play Holi this year [one of my relatives passed away, RIP :')] but writing this released dopamine in my brain.

For those of you who don't know-

Balam Pichkari is very famous Bollywood song related to Holi

Bhaang is kind of an alcoholic drink prepared from milk (?)

I've mostly used Hindi and Marathi since those two are the Indian languages I speak (I can also speak Gujarati and understand Telugu, which is my father tongue) but yeah :/

I hope you like this!!

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x female reader #loki laufeyson #loki fluff #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x y/n #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston characters #disney #marvel #mcu #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

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andrewmoocow · 4 years

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Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 4: The Deadpool and Peridot Show (originally posted on August 29, 2020)

AN: Welcome back to The Fantastic Mutants everyone. This is a very special chapter because here I have a co-writer, whether I like it or not.

Surprise everyone, it's me Deadpool! Since this kid refuses to get his writing done quickly, I've taken it upon myself to "help" him out since no one can understand me better than me. Now then, back to my cohost here.

Yes, Deadpool of all people has decided to help me. Though I'd rather do all of this myself without any distractions.

Kinda like how this author's note is distracting us from the actual main event! Now let's just get this rolling already!

We begin on a talk show set in a blank white space, inhabited solely by a drop-dead handsome mercenary dressed in a beautiful shade of red with hints of black that was currently tearing it apart for no good reason. You know him, you love him, it's the sexiest anti-hero to have ever graced this dying industry, Deadpool.

"Thank you, thank you all!" yours truly bowed for an unseen audience as he finished tearing the set apart. "Now if all y'all have been lying under a rock since like, I don't know, '91, I am known as Wade Winston Wilson. I was created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Niecieza for The New Mutants #98 in February 199-"

"Wade, I believe everyone knows who you are already." My white thinky-box, represented by a bold underline, cut me off. "You're already an Internet legend and of course, there's Ryan Reynolds."

"Can we just can the prologue already?" my yellow thinky-box, also represented by underlining but this time it was in italics. "There's gotta be people coming here solely for us who don't know what's going on."

"Okay wiseguys, you asked for it." the man who looked like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Shar-Pei underneath that creepily adorable mask replied. "So in case you guys are just joining us, this is a crossover with the modern classic with some of the most psycho fans in the Internet, Steven Universe." I explained. "Last chapter, our smol sunshine baby of a protagonist was kidnapped by the Master of Magnetism Magneto for some most likely evil science experiment by our favorite evil dictator with a superiority complex to compliment his tiny dick, Doctor Doom. In response, the Crystal Gems have decided that they need more hands on deck, and more characters than this story already needs."

"What does he want this to be, the DC Extended Universe?"

"I'd watch that mouth if I were you buddy." I called the dialogue box out. "Our author here has had experiences with those fans. If that Englishman can think he's free to call MCU fans Marvel Zombies, than he's free to have his own opinion. But someone that fanatical deserves to be called something similar, like a DCheep! Get it, because he's a sheep!"

"Can we please move on? This recap has already taken up two pages and I got real-life things to do." The author begged Wade.

"Okay, okay! Let's get this started already, keep your pants on!" the masked macho-man declared, marching off stage in an alluring fashion. "Cue scenery!"

Not too far from Westchester County, there was a shitty apartment where dwelled the hideously scarred human mutate, Wade Wilson. He was out like a light after the badass battle to the death he totally had last night, no joke. Not even a chimichanga could wake him up, and he didn't care that much for them. Yeah, no joke.

"Come on you sack 'a crap, wake up!" his blind, black, elderly roommate Blind Al groaned while fishing Wade out of bed with a snow shovel. "How much off-screen carnage puts you this much to sleep?"

"Enough for readers to get a glimpse of what I do in my spare time." Deadpool declared as he woke up, looking like he had a fantastic night's sleep. "Morning Al, off to do a crossover, see ya later!" he hurriedly greeted the old woman before leaving his room.

"Should I tell him he's not wearing pants?" Al muttered to herself. "Naw, he'll figure it out himself."

And figure it out he did. Immediately after that scene, Deadpool was wandering around the street fully clothed and ready to get this chapter over with.

"So, can we have our co-stars please show themselves?"

The author complied by dropping Connie, Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Bismuth and Nephrite into the scene. "Wait, how did we get here?" Peridot wondered aloud. "And who are you?"

"Ooh, I get to hang with everyone's favorite character!" Deadpool cheered. "I've been writing up jokes about the fans I've been wanting to say for quite a while." He added to the readers while searching his hammerspace for cue cards. "Let me see, Molotov cocktail, big-ass cartoon bomb, reminder to sue Marvel & Capcom for leaving me out of Infinite, God knows how many machine guns."

"Uh, while you're looking for whatever it is you want, let me introduce myself." Connie introduced herself. "My name is Connie, pleased to meet you."

"Hey, can you put your cue-card search on hold and say hi to the kid?"

"Ah, here they are!" Deadpool declared as he fished a series of flashcards from seemingly his butt. "Been wanting to do this for ages." He said before clearing his throat, and he began to read off of them.

"Here are some complaints I have heard about Steven Universe. Complaint #1: literally no one can stay on-model because storyboarding is the devil. Complaint #2: Rebecca Sugar is a total butchphobic abuse supporter because she treats Jasper like crap and lets Lapis off the hook despite the fact that she's even worse."

"Please note that these are clearly not the opinions of the author. He's just been around Tumblr a lot and knows just how these so-called 'fans' think."

"Who said that?" Bismuth wondered aloud. "Oh hey, Bismuth!" Wade exclaimed as he just took notice of her. "That reminds me, Complaint #3: Making Bismuth an antagonist in any way, shape or form is racist because all minorities are pretty little angels than must be defended at all costs despite the facts that we're all human beings who have the potential to be complete balls to the wall sociopathic!"

"Okay, now you're just being used as a mouthpiece for the author. Hey buddy, can you stop him by introducing your version of the X-Force?!"

As a way to shut him up, the writer dropped the X-Force into the current scene on top of Deadpool. Their members, aside from Wilson, consisted of big names like Cable, Domino, Bob & Psylocke, to those who are only familiar to movie-watchers like Copycat, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Yukio, Bedlam & Shatterstar, and even Outlaw & Fantomex!

"How did we get here?" Cable asked the other black-ops mutants as he got up. "Oh hey Natey, knew you'd come along sooner or later!" Wade greeted his cybernetic compadre. "I was just getting myself introduced to these characters that we'll be paired up with for this crossover."

"Hi, I'm Bob, Wade's best friend!" the HYDRA agent Bob cheerfully introduced himself. "Name's Domino." Neena Thurman responded.

"A pleasure to meet you, dearest jeune fille bleue." Fantomex greeted Lapis in a gentlemanly fashion. "You may call me Fantomex. "

"Charmed." Lapis replied.

"Wow, everyone wants Lapis! First Fandral, and now Fanto."

"Can you blame her? She's the writer's fave and top SU waifu! Favoritism much?"

"Name's Negasonic Teenage Warhead." Ellie Phimster introduced herself. "This here is Yukio." She added gesturing to a Japanese girl with pink hair and a big smile. "Hi there!"

"I'm Wade's girlfriend Vanessa, though a lot of people call me Copycat since that's my power." Vanessa stated. "Yeah, totally original."

"Call me Bedlam." Bedlam stated. "And this here is Shatterstar. Unlike the rest of us, he's an alien from the Mojoverse."

"And finally, these are Outlaw and Psylocke." Shatterstar gestured to the cowgirl and the ninja in the one piece. "Nice to meet ya." Inez Temple greeted. "Indeed." Betsy Braddock added.

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Deadpool asked Connie. "Don't give too much away, cause I already got a basic knowledge of what happened last chapter."

"Chapter?" Connie tilted her head in confusion. "Steven was kidnapped only an hour ago! What do you think this is, some kind of story?"

"You'd be surprised Girl-Who-Wasn't-Actually-Dressed-As-Gohan-In-That-One-Episode." The Merc with a Mouth grinned underneath his mask. Before anyone could move on however, a stereotypical overweight nerd who looks like he doesn't get out much wheeled in on an automated scooter with a plate of brownies in front of him. "And you are?"

"I am simply an SU Critical that wants to congratulate you for making my voice heard." The nerd congratulated Deadpool. "As a way of saying thanks, have some brownies."

"I get it! Deadpool won some brownie points!"

"Don't explain the joke dumbass. The punchline should be coming up now."

As Wade snacked on the brownies, he came to realize something was wrong with them. "Hey wait a second. Yo, stereotype! Why do these brownies taste like literal dogshit?!"

"That's my secret ingredient!" the nerd revealed, much to Wade's disgust and he angrily tossed the brownies on the ground. "It's to symbolize how I believe Steven Universe has gone bad ever since the barn arc ended since absolutely nothing can compare to the amazing character development Peridot got!"

"Oh, it's so nice to see someone notice my splendidness!" Peridot blushed as she felt humbled by the nerd. "Of course, then they had to devolve her into a mindless comic relief who only-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MINDLESS COMIC RELIEF YOU CLOD?!" the small Gem shrieked furiously before she pounced on the basement dweller and began choking him. "I'll teach you to talk back to me immediately after giving my praises you hypocrite!"

As Peridot continued assaulting the nerd, everyone else watched in either shock, bemusement or in Deadpool's case, pride. "I think I want to be her new bestest friend already."

"But I thought we were friends!" Bob weeped sadly while Bedlam gave him a comforting pat on the head.

"And now it's time for a cutaway gag!"

"Cutaway gags? You gotta be kidding me, we're not Family Guy!"

"Just let the writer do his thing man, it's his imagination!"

"Come on Willy, I know you can do it!" a child version of Deadpool called to a whale in a scene that is clearly a reference to a certain all-time classic "Boy and his non-human friend" story. However just as Willy finally leaped over the rock Wade was standing on, he was immediately harpooned in midair and dragged towards a pirate ship manned by Captain Ahab. "Hey, wrong whale story Habbo Hotel!"

"After so many years of searching, that accursed whale is now mine to profit off!" Ahab and his crew celebrated their capture. "I'm talking sequels and an animated series to start, but the sky's the limit!"

"This ain't the last you'll see of me Old Thunder!" Wade cursed the sea captain as he made off with his prize. "I'll bring that whale home, just you wait!"

"Okay, that's a pretty unique idea for a gag. But seriously, back to the show."

"So, we're here because Magneto has kidnapped Steven with a bunch of Sentinels." Connie recapped to Deadpool while they were out and about in the city. "Now that you know what we're doing, can you tell us what you do?"

"I'm glad you asked Connie." Deadpool declared. "Allow me to explain the only way you Steven Universe characters probably know how. IN SONG!"

"Wait, a musical number, in a fanfiction?! Seriously?!"

"Hey shut it, this is gonna be good!"

"Lights please." Wade announced, shutting off the lights with a snap of his fingers, and turning them back on with another snap. He was now dressed as an Elvis impersonator with Cable, Domino, Bob and Copycat as his band. "What song do you plan on playing?" Vanessa asked her boyfriend.

"Just watch and listen." Wade responded, and began playing a parody of a classic movie song. "Here I go!" he started singing while Cable provided backup on the drums. "Woo! Ah-ha, ah-ha, let me show you what I work with!"

"Well Gambit was in league with a bunch of thieves, Cyclops has almost two thousand tales!" For his first act of insanity, the Regenerating Degenerate made about fifty longboxes filled with comics appear for Peridot & Lapis to rifle through. As soon as they discovered one with Wade fighting a vampire bat creature on the cover titled "Deadpool: The Gauntlet," the Deadpool on the cover continued the song.

"Well my friends, you're in luck cause up your sleeves, you got a kind of guy that never fails!" After Deadpool emerged from the issue Peridot was holding, he shot down various villains emerging from the other comics while singing.

"You got a real badass in your corner now, a real Wolverine type in your camp!" he then demonstrated by transforming his face into that of Logan's and then back again before letting bullets rain from above. "He can shoot, kablam! Bullets galore, all you gotta do is say my name!" Wade crooned. "And I'll say: 'Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?'"

As he sat the Gems down on a beach blanket, Deadpool then assumed pirate attire and set a heavy treasure chest on the ground. "Just give me a guy and I'll shoot him down, you ain't had a mercenary like me!"

Peridot began to excitedly open the chest while Lapis rolled her eyes. "Life's like a treasure chest," Wade's disembodied voice continued. When the treasure box was opened, the mercenary exploded out of it and made gold fly everywhere. "AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR KEY!"

Unlike her smaller partner, Lapis was still not amused. "C'mon, whisper to me what you want," Wade kept crooning, followed by splitting himself into four smaller Deadpools. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

"Contractors pride ourselves on service." One of the mini-Wades stated, and then they merged into the prime Wilson while spawning a lavish couch for his two guests. "You girls the hoss, the queens, the Shah! No matter what you wish, I'll be your bitch! How 'bout a few chimichangas?"

"Have some of Sample A, try all of Sample B!" Following the chimichanga rain, Peridot and Lapis were handed free samples at a supermarket before they found themselves on a velvet pillow held by Wade. "Anytime, any day, I'll help you babes. You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

A brief dance number then ensued between Deadpool and his hands. His left hand vocalized and the degenerate replied with an "Oh my!" When the right hand started singing, it was responded with "No no!" Both hands harmonized and they got a "Ha ha ha!" They sandwiched Deadpool between them as he peaced out with a "Zip-a-dee doo-dah!"

When Deadpool returned, he pointed straight at Peridot. "Give me a good badda-yadda-yadda!"

"Badda-yadda-yadda!" Peridot excitedly repeated. "Good, scotty-wop!" Wade then pointed to Lapis. Her reply was more unsure. "Uh, scotty-wop?"

"Everybody now!" Deadpool compelled the readers. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!" the readers answered excitedly.

"Yeah, y'all got it!" Wade congratulated before proceeding to demonstrate his healing factor. "Can your friends do this?" he asked, casually dislocating his arms. "Can your friends do that?" he added, ripping out his spinal cord to bounce on it like a certain stuffed tiger. "Can your friends pull this?" With that, Wade tore his skeleton out of his body and started dancing the Charleston with it. "Out a little hat?!"

Suddenly, Wade's skeleton started filling itself with dynamite sticks on the verge of exploding. "CAN YOUR FRIENDS GO-" The human mutate was interrupted as the TNT exploded, and the clouds gave way to him beatboxing while doing a silly dance.

"Call me the Merc with a Mouth, I am always there. North, West, East and South! So don't sit there slackjawed, all buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all ya evening prayers!" he continued. "You got me bona-fide certified! A hired gun for your charge affair!"

"I got a powerful urge to help you out! So who's gonna die? I really need to know!" Deadpool said as the song began to reach its climax while pulling a long strip of paper from Peridot's mouth and began rubbing his bottom with it. "You got a list that's three miles long no doubt. So all you gotta do is pay-wayho!"

For the final setpiece, Peridot and Lapis now stood atop a mountain of dead Marvel characters that are so obscure, not even the most hardcore fans knew a thing about them. "Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?" Wade asked tunefully. Peridot then picked up one body, and its head suddenly turned into Deadpool's. "Anytime anyplace, I'll help you babes."

A few bodies rose from the dead, only for Deadpool to shoot them all down. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary." He concluded. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary."

Bullets once again began raining, along with all sorts of violent weapons as the song finally ended. "YOU AIN'T, HAD A, MERCE-NARY LIIIII-IIIIIKE MEEEEE!"

With the X-Force performing a kickline to finish things off, Deadpool pulled on a string dangling from above. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!" A flickering neon applause sign dropped down, capping off the rather pointless number.

"Well, that was a waste of time that'll never be spoken of again."

"Sincerest apologies to Alan Menken, Howard Ashman and especially Robin Williams. He would've been 69 this year. NICE!"

"Okay you generic-looking monster, time to discover who you truly are!" Connie declared to a captured Sasquatch while she, Peridot, Deadpool, Lapis and Cable were dressed as a certain band of meddling kids and their voracious canine pal. Connie ripped off the Sasquatch's head to reveal that it was a mask worn by an evil parrot with a scar across his face.

"Zoinks! Like, it's a parrot!" Deadpool declared in a beatnik voice. "Wait, a parrot? Is that all?"

"Far from it mein friends!" the parrot answered in a German accent. Suddenly, large robots kicked the walls around them down. "Behold, my Nazi robots!"

"N-Nazi robots?" Lapis stuttered. "Jeepers, this is just getting too weird."

Deadpool then glanced expectantly at Cable, who groaned while pushing up his glasses. "C'mon Cabey, say the line!" he exhorted the cyborg. With a heavy groan, Cable quietly said "Jinkies, run."

"He's right, let's split up gang!" Connie commanded, and the crew were off to the races. After passing by the same flowerpot approximately five times because there wasn't that much in the budget, the five came across a hallway littered with doors.

When Deadpool and Peridot burst into one door, they came out of another not too faraway, same with the others. However at the end of a door, they came across a blue digital ghost with yellow eyes & teeth and a grainy laugh.

"Ruh roh, rit's Rames Rarles the Rindly Rohnny!" Peridot exclaimed, making every word she spoke begin with R before she coughed. "How does anyone speak like this?" she asked Wade. "Because speech impediments are funny!" the mercenary replied. "Now let's move!"

"Seriously, why can't I be Fred?!" Cable complained while emerging from another door with Deadpool by his side instead of Lapis. "Connie gets the cool ascot, and all I'm left with is this bulky sweater and a short skirt!"

"Well for one, that skirt actually looks pretty cute on you." Wade answered with a stupidly cheeky grin on his face. Before anyone else could charge through more doors, zombie cats and dinosaurs that could move without thinking came charging in. "Wow, Scooby-Doo became a lot weirder than when I was a youngin."

Returning to the real world, the Crystal Temps and the X-Force have just plowed through an entire armed squadron inhabiting a conveniently abandoned office building and now had their leader tied up in a chair. "We ain't gonna let all those hallway fights amount to nothing!" Wade declared holding the squadron leader at gunpoint. "We've tried every torture technique in the book: eating your own food, threatening your family, doing a silly dance to some awesome music and yet still you won't talk!" he exclaimed. "So let me ask this again! What does the guy who gave Magneto & Doctor Doom those Sentinels look like?"

"What?" the gunman asked nervously, causing Wade to smash another wall. "WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM?!" the mercenary shrieked. "What?" the captive continued squeaking. "WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!" Deadpool yelled. "THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!"

"What?" the man said a third time. "ENGLISH MOTHER-" Deadpool began, but then he noticed the T-rating and groaned. "ENGLISH YOU BASTARD, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" he reiterated. "YES!" the gunman finally said something other than what. "THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Deadpool kept yelling. "WHAT DOES YOUR MASTER LOOK LIKE?!"

"We could just beat the info outta him and be done with it." Bedlam advised. "No need for all this Pulp Fiction parody crap."

"Was I talking to you?" Wade asked his teammate tersely before going back to his captive. "Now where was I? Oh yeah! Does he look like a bitch?"

"Now you're just skipping lines!" the gunman squealed in defiance. "What else do you wanna do with me?!"

"Okay, I got another question for you." Wade stated. "Have you had your prostate exam lately?"

"What?" the gunman muttered, fearing what could come next. "In fact, I got just the girl to help me." Wade declared. "Hey Connie, your MILF of a mom is a doctor right? Surely you must know what I'm talking about!"

"Yeah, pretty much!" Connie answered. "Here, lend me your sword. We might need to operate." Deadpool said as he menacingly snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. "Hey author, why don't we cut to another scene before this gets too violent?"

"Now then, what are we working with he-There it is!"

"AUGH!"

Elsewhere, a stereotypical shadowy figure watched from a large video screen as the X-Force tore through his mercenaries. "That masked maniac is onto us!" he growled quietly while pounding his fist on an armrest and turned his chair to face Ruckus, Gorgeous George, Hairbag, Ramrod & Slab, the Nasty Boyz. "You five track him & those rainbow women down and kill them all!"

"Yes sir." The Nasty Boyz complied and set off for the Merc with a Mouth. "Now where do you suppose the merc could be now?" Hairbag asked his fellow Boyz. "My best guess, he's probably at that Hellhouse run by Patch." the Southern-accented Slab theorized. "Hopefully they have room for his head as a trophy."

"Well here we are at Saint Margaret's School for Wayward Children." Deadpool decreed as he suddenly parked a limo that he totally always had in front of the mercenary dispatch center he loved frequenting. "I suggest you try not to look at some of its inhabitants funny, some of them can get a little ballistic."

Entering the bar, the two teams had all eyes on them by all the other mercs at the establishment. "Uh, hello there." Connie nervously greeted one of them. "I don't think you're old enough to be here little girl." The mercenary replied ominously. "Don't worry Jessica, they're with me." Deadpool told the larger man. "So, where's Weasel?"

"Right here old buddy!" the bespectacled bartender called for Wade. "Hey, Weasel!" Wade exclaimed to his old friend while sitting down at the bar and exchanging a fistbump. "I see you're doing well Poolboy." Weasel said to his friend. "And who's the green midget with you?"

"This is Peridot, a member of the Crystal Gems." Shatterstar introduced Peridot. "Oh, you mean those rock ladies that creamed those Chitauri only to get creamed by Thanos?" Weasel asked, making Peridot pretty mad. "Hey, we creamed Thanos right back!"

"We're looking for information sir." Connie said to Weasel. "A friend of mine has been captured by Magneto & Doctor Doom using those Sentinel robots, and we want to know where they've come from."

"You want confidential info little girl?" the barkeep stated. "Go see Multiple Man over there at that poker table, he's usually the guy to talk to since he's a detective."

"Yet one mystery he can't solve is the mystery of why he can never get his own movie."

"ZING!"

At a nearby poker table, Jamie Madrox and some of his duplicates were playing cards with the albino mutant Caliban, and the four Jamies clearly had the upper hand. "All in!" one of the clones declared shoving his chips into the pot. "I know you are cheating Madrox." Caliban informed his opponent. "I mean, there are literally four of you!"

Just then, Deadpool abruptly shot one of the clones dead and sat down where he once was. "Deal me in." he simply declared as if nothing happened. "Caliban welcomes you Mr. Pool." Caliban nervously greeted the regenerating degenerate. "And who is your little friend?"

"You may call me Peridot, the suave, attractive and positively adorable leader of the Crystal Gems!" Peridot introduced herself arrogantly. "So, you more members of the X-Men? Haven't seen you around the mansion."

"Actually, we're members of a different team of mutants." Madrox replied, while his surviving doubles sadly carried their dead comrade away. "There are actually quite a lot of them you see. X-Factor; the one we're a part of, X-Statix, Excalibur, Generation X, the Morlocks and most famously Alpha Flight."

"Half of them sound so late 20th to early 21st century." Peridot commented. "I mean, X-Statix? Talk about totally cool dudes!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Is this Saint Margaret's? We'd like to have a word with the owner." A voice came from the other side, catching all the patrons and employees off-guard. All was quiet, but then the Nasty Boyz came crashing through the wall instead of the door. "LET'S GET NASTY!" they all cried out, springing into action.

"Alright, what the shit is going on here?!" Bob "Patch" Stirrat, the elderly owner of Saint Margaret's growled, emerging from another room while stroking his big bushy mustache. "Oh god, it's the Nasty Boyz."

"The Nasty Boyz?" Peridot and Lapis repeated in unison before they laughed at the evil mutant team's name. Suddenly, the wood tables of the bar came to life and changed their form thanks to Ramrod, who used them to restrain everyone aside from Deadpool. "Okay boys, frisk him."

On Ramrod's orders, Gorgeous George used his shapeshifting powers to grab Wade by the ankles and dangle him above the ground. "Let's see what he's got here." Ruckus muttered, fishing through the belongings dropped as Wade was shaken up and down. "Various pistols, swords, nunchucks, staves, forks, a bazooka."

"Most of those were from a Ninja Turtles convention I went to last year." Wade revealed. "Don't know where the bazooka came from."

"Rubber chicken, five month old bag of pizza pockets; that are still warm," Slab continued for his teammate. "Ryan Reynolds's phone number, large collection of nude selfies from Thumbelin-WHAT?!"

To Slab's absolute shock and fury, he found an overfilled file of lewd pictures taken by his sister Kristina Anderson with her phone number on it, along with a message saying "I bet you want more, my raging sex machine!" Crushing the file in his hand, Slab furiously glared at Deadpool. "Wilson, you son of a bitch!"

"Geez Chris, I thought you had a sense of humor." Wade grinned cheekily. "After all, SHE'S YOUR SISTER!" Then like Thor returning Mjolnir to his hand, the mercenary wiggled his fingers to call one of his katana blades back and free himself from Gorgeous George before rescuing his friends. "SSSSSSmokin'!" he hissed before spin-dashing out of the bar.

"After that degenerate!" Hairbag exclaimed while Slab frothed in wordless rage and the Boyz gave chase, leaving the bar in tatters. "Hey, which of you assholes is gonna clean this up?!" Patch exclaimed, but then he answered his own question by handing Weasel a broom.

"Everyone, to the Deadpoolmobile!" Deadpool exclaimed as the X-Force and Crystal Temps piled into the limousine from earlier. "Where did you ever get this car anyways?" Bismuth asked him, and he replied. "Don't think about it!"

Far across the city, Robert Kelly was left facepalming and a colleague of his scratching his head when they discovered that one of Kelly's limos was missing, its place taken by a graffiti message saying "I O U".

"I hate that Deadpool." Senator Kelly groaned.

"You get back here this instant you red-masked c-" Slab called for Deadpool as the Nasty Boyz chased them in a stolen taxi, but his cursing was cut off by Deadpool popping out the sunroof of the limousine to open fire on them.

"Wait, if Deadpool is up there, then who is driving?" Connie asked the group, and that's when Yukio made a shocking realization. "Oh my god, Demon Bear is driving!" she exclaimed pointing to a demonic bear that was taking the wheel. "How can that be?!"

"That's right folks, Lawrence Abrams is here to report that the insanely infamous insane mercenary Deadpool has started an intense car chase where he's hijacked a limo belonging to Senator Robert Kelly and is being chased by a group of other mutants called the Nasty Boyz." Lawrence Abrams said on the television at the Baxter Building, where Garnet, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine had now caught wind of the event. "And there's also some kinda bear driving the limo for some reason. Why's there a bear?! Who gives a damn! And now onto Sally Floyd with politics!"

"Deadpool." Colossus glowered in embarrassment. "Come my friends, we must go and handle this crisis ourselves." He declared while preparing to leave the building. "But you let Connie go on that mission for her optimism." Pearl stated to the metal mutant while setting Reed and Sue's young son Franklin Richards on the floor.

"We know Pearl, but that maniac is a whole 'nother level of unpredictable." Wolverine grumbled. "And there's a high chance Connie's life is at risk here! Right Garnet?"

"Logan is correct. I can see multiple paths where things go horribly wrong." Garnet agreed with Logan. "Oh, you're leaving already?" Franklin's older sister Valeria asked them. "Mom and Dad were just about to introduce you to H.E.R.B.I.E."

"It's alright Valeria, they still have friends to help." Susan assured her daughter. "Go on Gems, we'll catch up with you back at the mansion."

"It's been a pleasure to be shown around the Baxter Building and meeting the kids Sue." Pearl said gratefully and shook the Invisible Woman's hand. "I especially like how Franklin reminds me of Steven."

"Bye Ms. Pearl!" Franklin said goodbye by hugging the tall Gem's leg. "Oh, goodbye to you too Frank." Pearl replied. "Hey, what about me?!" the Four's AI H.E.R.B.I.E exclaimed irritably. "Don't I get anything to say?!"

"Oy Cain, you gotta check this out!" Black Tom called to Juggernaut while he was watching TV. The Brotherhood of Mutants had stopped to refuel their ship and Black Tom had run off on his own when he discovered a TV shop playing the same news report of Deadpool's car chase. "What say we give Deadpool an old one-two before Mags finishes up?"

"You son of a bitch, I'm in!" Juggernaut exclaimed eagerly, giving his teammate a fist-bump that knocked Tom to the ground. "You okay there?"

"We have your limousine surrounded! Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!" a police officer barked into a bullhorn as they had Deadpool and pals backed into a corner. "I would make a police brutality joke, but even I know that would be too soon." Wade said to the readers as he screeched the limo to a stop, making donuts on the street and damaging numerous police cars in the process.

"Okay, now you're just either showing off or defying us." The cop with the megaphone japed. Just then, a mighty thud briefly shook the ground. And another. And another. And another. And-

"Quit stalling writer, we know who it is! It's the goddamn Juggernaut!" Deadpool interrupted the third-person omniscient narrator. "Literally everyone and their goddamn long lost relatives know who he is!" The mighty Juggernaut continued inching closer to the fanboying mercenary while the police scattered out of fear of him and Peridot poked her head out the sunroof to see what was up.

"Uh, Wade?" the petite Gem squeaked nervously. "You know who that is right?"

"Didn't I just say that it's ol' Juggernaut?!" Wade exclaimed to his new best friend. "Oh, the things I could say about how much of a badass he is! This guy has beaten the shit outta Cyttorak, the Thing, Colossus, Blob & Thor and even called banging She-Hulk a stalemate! Maybe, that last one was actually a cl-"

Before Deadpool could finish the sentence, Juggernaut grabbed him by the neck with just two fingers and brought him very close to his helmeted face. "Hello Wade." He beamed callously. "Hey Cainy, is that new toothpaste I smell?" Deadpool greeted him nervously. "What flavor is it this time, Feeling Bad About Your Shitty Mutant Powers So You Get New Ones from Cyttorak?"

"Goddamn he went there." Black Tom muttered, only to receive a glare from his partner.

"Deadpool!" Garnet called for the Merc with a Mouth as she, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine entered the scene. "Oh, hey guys." Peridot nervously waved to her fellow Crystal Gems. "What brings you here?"

"We came here to take control of this current situation." Pearl explained. "No matter how much you want to swear and kill and all sorts of other crass activities, we still need your help in saving a friend of ours."

"I appreciate you want me to be more involved in this story Mordecai," Wade said to Pearl. "but can this wait a bit? I'm currently in the middle of worshipping the Juggernaut, bit-"

However within seconds, Deadpool was mashed into the ground by Juggernaut, leaving only a few scattered body parts lying in a puddle of blood. "Oh, so rude!" his disembodied head declared indignantly. "And to think we were buddies at one time Marky-Mark." He then turned to face the audience one last time before the degenerate would meet his not very possible untimely end. "But since I'm literally nothing but blood, my head, a few fingers, an upper arm and my dick right now, let's lighten the mood a little with some more gags, shall we?"

"As if we didn't waste enough time already."

"I love the smell of 372,844 pancakes in the morning." Deadpool declared as he flipped his last pancake and added it to the growing mountain of pancakes. "Smells like victory!"

"Why on Earth would you need this many pancakes?" Bismuth asked while Deadpool turned on the ceiling sprinklers to pour maple syrup all over each and every one of them at once. "Well, that's pretty clever I'll admit."

"Okay Peridot, ace this test and you're on the team!" Wade, now a coach for the girls' swim team comprised of Lapis, Bismuth, Domino, Warhead, Yukio, Outlaw, Copycat, Psylocke & Nephrite, announced to their soon to be newest member Peridot while she prepared to dive.

"This is it Peri, get this right and you'll make everyone proud!" Peridot muttered to herself while adjusting her cap and gazing at Lapis. As soon as Coach Wade blew the whistle, Peridot leaped into the water…and soon began struggling to keep herself afloat in a very exaggerated manner. "AAAAAGH, SOMEONE HELP! LIFEGUARD, COACH, SOS! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!" she shrieked for help before the chlorinated water won out and she sank to the bottom.

"I'll save you!" Cable roared while assuming the role of a lifeguard, preparing to jump in the water after her when Wade stopped him. "No no, wait for the punchline."

When Peridot finally breached the surface, she dramatically gasped for air and then frantically paddled towards the end of the pool, grabbing the ledge with a serious expression on her face. "So, how do you like my swimming?" she asked, acting like nothing had happened. However, no one else was there to answer except for Deadpool. "Hey, where did everyone go?!"

"They jumped ship an hour ago because they were tired of waiting." Wade answered. "But you still get on the team cause you really made me laugh."

"Gotta say Lapis, we got quite a team here." Deadpool remarked proudly to his fellow baseball player Lapis. "Uh, yeah, they're great." Lapis nervously replied while failing to get the joke. "So, who's on first?"

"Yeah, and what's on second." Wade responded eagerly. "No, I want to know who's on first." Lapis continued asking. "Exactly! We already established that who's on first, what's on second and I don't know is third."

"Wait, do you not know their names or are those seriously what they're called?" the ocean Gem asked, causing great irritation for her team captain. "Dammit Lapis, you spoiled the punchline!" he reprimanded her. "In fact, this whole Abbott and Costello tribute was just an excuse to see you dress up as Bob again! I mean, can you blame me with those shorts?"

"Abbott and who now?" Lapis remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"You really need to get out more." Wade deadpanned, lowering his eyelids in response.

"Welcome back one and all to Celebrity Jeopardy." Pearl announced, now dressed as Alex Trebek. "Now before we proceed, I'd like to apologize on the behalf of our contestants to all viewers with rather unusual lifestyles. We here at the studio refuse to judge anyone based on how they live, and sincerely hope you accept our apologies. Now then, let's proceed with our contestants."

Deadpool was in the podium closest to Pearl, now dressed as Sean Connery. "Mr. Connery is in first place with only -1 dollar." Pearl began recapping for the viewers at home. "About as many points as your mother gave you!" Wade cackled.

"Classy." Pearl responded crossly before shining the spotlight on Lewis Black, aka Peridot. "Mr. Black now has a score of, shockingly enough, -6,000 dollars." She explained, prompting the small Gem turned abrasive comedian to climb up on top of her podium in the middle. "Is that enough to buy my own bus?"

"And finally, Josh Brolin, now having raised 35 dollars." Pearl concluded while Juggernaut assumed the role of the aforementioned actor many may know as a certain Mad Titan. "I don't feel so good." Cain muttered. "Damn, walked right into that one!"

"Very well then. With introductions out of the way, let's move onto the board." Pearl stated, moving her eyes from the podiums to the categories. "Tonight our categories are Annals of History, Potent Potables, What Bulls Hit, Jokes, Popular Foreign Television, Places with Names Ending in 'Nia' and Video Games." Deadpool then pressed his buzzer. "Mr. Connery, you have the board."

"I'll take What Bullshit for $500 Al." Wade announced with a stupid grin on his face, clearly misreading the category he had chosen. "And I can tell you plenty of things that are bullshit."

"No, it clearly says What Bulls-" Pearl began to correct the masked contestant before she came to a realization. "Whoa! Okay, walked right into that one. Anyways, the question is: "It is commonly believed bulls are enraged by this color". Mr. Connery?"

"I'll tell you something I've hit recently." Deadpool chortled. "Hit up a few bars over the past week while hanging with your mom. She and I had a wonderful time, if you get what I mean! Wink wink, nudge nudge."

"I don't even have a mother!" Pearl ranted hotly. "And can we please return to what was happening earlier?! These pop culture references are nothing but a waste of time!"

"Thank you!"

"Boldface, you ignorant slut."

"Oh no, Wade!" Peridot yelled for Deadpool as she dashed out the limo to check on the puddle of blood and body parts that was once her new friend. "Please speak to us you clod, you can't die like this!"

"That's because I can't!" Deadpool proudly declared and in a beautiful Disney-like spectacle, slowly reassembled himself until he was the full-bodied lovable manic once again. "Healing factor baby! Got it when some asshole tried to cure my cancer, along with looking like a walking tumor."

"Uh hey, remember us?" the Nasty Boyz cried out in unison, catching the merc's attention. "Oh right, you guys. Gotta wrap up the chapter somehow." As a result, Wade opened fire on the evil mutants, shooting them in the arms, kneecaps and especially their dicks. "Oh and Bismuth, Peridot? You guys got Black Tom & Juggies. I'll take Garnet and Pearl!"

"You got it, I guess." Bismuth complied before she and her little friend squared off with Cassidy & Cain, leaving Wade alone against the senior Crystal Gems.

"Hey, what about us?" Lapis asked the writer, who responded by typing, "Didn't think that far ahead. You guys can just do crowd control."

"Okay Q-Bert and Drinking Bird," Deadpool exclaimed. "you two may have thousands of years of battle experience on your show but in terms of franchise ages, I've been doing this for far longer! There was even a graphic novel trilogy where an actually insane version of me killed the rest of Marvel, tons of classic literature characters and even other versions of me!"

"Do you have any idea what he's saying anymore?" Pearl asked Garnet. "I'm not sure. I fear he may be too unpredictable for us to comprehend!" Garnet answered fearfully. "You can try if you want." Deadpool beckoned them with a silly dance. "But I can assure you that hilarity will ensue!"

Pearl leaped at the Merc with a Mouth, but she was quickly denied a hit when Wade did a pirouette and kicked her in the back, sending her flying into a lamppost. "See, what did I tells ya?!"

Garnet tried her hand at attacking by enlarging her gauntlets & launching them at her foe, but they proved to be useless against him. Deadpool then rapidly fired his gun at Garnet, but she blocked all the bullets with her gauntlets and then finally moved so fast, not even Deadpool could catch her and was punched in the face.

"Wow okay, you got the guts!" Wade yelled while readjusting his head from the hit. "Seems like I really am a bit outmatched by you Garnet. Or maybe a certain someone just wants to make things fair!"

"Come on you maniac, what else can you throw at us?!" Pearl asked pointing her spear. "Oh what else can I throw?" Deadpool replied, letting out a sinister giggle while wearing a pair of shiny glasses and clasping his fingers together. "Let me show you!"

Whipping out his katana blades, Deadpool laughed maniacally while using them to tear the background apart, leaving nothing but a blank white space behind. "WELCOME CRYSTAL GEMS TO MY TURF! I PRESENT TO YOU THE FOURTH WALL, WHERE LOGIC IS JUST AS ILLEGAL AS JAYWALKING!"

"This is starting to remind me of that Uncle person." Pearl muttered in awe. "I thought we promised to never speak of that man again." Garnet instructed the former servant. "Well if he wants to make jokes and talk to the audience, then so can we."

When the two Gems joined hand, there was a bright shimmer as the pair merged into the returning glamorous Sardonyx. "Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in-between, the Gem Hostess with the Mostest has finally returned!" the fusion of Garnet and Pearl announced. "And it seems we have a very special guest star today."

"Sardonyx, huh?" Deadpool muttered while scrolling through the Steven Universe wiki for statistics. "Oh I see, she's here because we can both break the fourth wall!"

"A worthy opponent for you I must say!" Sardonyx chortled before smashing Deadpool in with her hammer. "Of course you realize this means war!" Wade roared, proceeding to whip out numerous cartoon guns, launching them all at once. "RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-RATA!" he screamed while launching lead at his fusion foe, following up with a declaration of "Omae wa mou shindeiru."

"N-NANI?!" Sardonyx cried out in shock before she spontaneously combusted with a cry of "HIDEBU!" However, the explosion cleared up and she was perfectly fine. "Psyche! Hammer time!"

Before Sardonyx could hit Deadpool with the hammer again, he disappeared into a cartoon hole like it were a solid object and reappeared out another. "Ha, that Spot douche should take notes from-OH GOD!"

"Anyone up for Whack-A-Mole?!" Sardonyx exclaimed, proceeding to whack her opponent multiple times with her hammer before he vanished and popped out another hole. And another, and another, and another, and another, until the hiding began to tire him out. "Jesus she's good." Wade panted, and then he began to make a plan. "I swore that I would never use this the moment I stole it from those schmoes, but I'm left with no choice!"

Sticking a hand up his red-clad butt, Deadpool pulled it out while holding a small black jewel that seemed similar to the Infinity Stones. "Ough, I also swore to never use it again because looking for it is a literal pain in my ass!"

"That Infinity Stone isn't canon!" Sardonyx objected while sounding like a stereotypical nerd. "Oh it may not be canon my dear, but we're in the Fourth Wall where anything could happen." Deadpool explained deviously. "With this Continuity Stone, I could warp all reality to my whims! I could use it to go back in time and erase One More Day by preventing Civil War from happening, or maybe beat the shit outta that Judas Traveller prick and his butt-buddies! But what I plan on doing now is using this stone to erase you from this reality once and for all!"

"Oh no, I don't feel so good!" Sardonyx dramatically announced as she felt herself fading away. "I'm melting! Melting! Oh what a world, what a world!" With that, the fusion finally vanished and presumably Garnet & Pearl as well. As Deadpool let out a heavy sigh, he suddenly realized that the Continuity Stone was now missing. "What the?! Where did it go!?"

"Looking for something Ninja Spidey?" a familiar voice rang out. Sardonyx was now back to normal and smugly held the Stone in her hand, setting it down like a golfball and swinging it at Deadpool's eye, causing his body to explode.

"Can I at least get one F-bomb in Mr. Author Man? Please?" Wade begged the author by putting on his best puppy dog eyes until his disembodied head landed in one of Sardonyx's hands. "To be or not to be," she began quoting Shakespeare. "That is the question."

"I got a question." The mercenary's head growled angrily. "On a scale from one to ten, how much do you think I FUCKING hate you?"

"Watch the mouth sonny, children could be reading this!" Sardonyx chortled. "Now then, let's finish this chapter!"

One bypass of the chapter break later, Sardonyx and the defeated Deadpool were now out of the Fourth Wall and back in the real world where the Nasty Boyz, Juggernaut & Black Tom were now nowhere to be seen.

"Okay, I give up!" Deadpool complained while his body began to regenerate. "I'll go with your stupid plan! Didn't really need to treat me like how Pearl killed that one Irishman during the Easter Rising."

"It was an accident!" Pearl exclaimed as she and Garnet defused. "And how did you possibly know?"

"But before we move onto the next chapter, can we make a quick stop first?" Deadpool asked. "There's a joke I think needs resolving."

"You'll never take the whale from me Wilson!" Captain Ahab exclaimed as he engaged in a swordfight with the dread pirate Straw Hat Deadpool and his motley crew. "I'll surrender when I get eaten alive!"

"Funny you should mention that Habbo." First Mate Peridot sneered before she whistled loudly for Willy to breach the surface, breaking most of Ahab's ship and swallowing him whole. "I'll get you for this Wade!" Ahab shrieked vengefully. "You haven't seen the last of me!"

When Ahab was finally swallowed, Willy gave the pirates his farewells and dove back into the water, free again at last.

"What did parodying both Free Willy and Moby Dick have to do with anything?" Pearl asked Straw Hat Deadpool. "You know what? After what I've experienced, I don't think I want to know."

At long last, the chapter is done! Good thing too, because my partner has just started college as we write this and all that education is gonna cut into his freetime!

Yes indeed, the next chapter will take a bit longer to come out because of college. But I still get a few months off soon, so there you go.

Well, that should settle it. You get some free writing done and I won't take your ANDY ONLY stuff. Hasta luego amigo! And be sure to give my regards to your mom!

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venus-says · 5 years

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Futari wa Pretty Cure Episodes 27-49

Fighting Darkness with Hope.

The second week of the Precure Rewatch series is here and we reach the end of our first season! I know I'm late, part of it is my fault because I kept watching AGDQ videos and procrastinated a lot, I admit that (the high temperatures I'm having adds into that too because I become no one in the heat). But also, if you don't know, January is a month that rains a lot here in Brazil and in some cases rain equals the power going down a lot so it was hard for me to watch everything on time.

But enough excuses, let's get right into the meat of this post.

I always had a hard time with Futari wa's second half, in my mind that has always been the weakest portion of the original season, but I gotta be honest, I enjoyed the latter half more than the first one during this rewatch! Yes, I still have a problem with the change of villains and everything, to me the Dark King gets revived way too soon, and Pollun is definitely a handful. But honestly? It didn't bother me as much, at least not as much as I expected.

What this part has that put it above the first half to me is how better the fighting got. The formula is still the same, most of the cases it's just the girls being beat down until Pollun comes to the rescue thanks to the Power of Crying™ and they fire a beam of light to the enemy. The difference here is that in between these scripted points we have physical fights and some of them are top-notch, real good stuff that adds so much to this format and it doesn't make it feel stale. It also helps a lot that there were very few instances of using Zakennas for the precure portion which means they were fighting against the new generals directly in most of the cases and this is a thing I think more shows that follow the MOTW style of combat should follow.

Speaking of the new generals, here's another very glad surprise I had during this rewatch. While I still think they "lose" in terms of design when putting them in comparison with the first team, Juna, Regine, and Belzei, the Seeds of Darkness as I like to call them (because Dark Warriors is a very generic name and I don't like it), are very great villains. Maybe Juna not so much since I think he's not expressive at all and he doesn't do much, but Regine and Belzei more than compensate for him. I like this quirky of Regine's civilian form has of being quiet and shy even though she's like a living demon of darkness, I also love that whenever she transforms and her hair gets "pulled" all the way back and then bounces back in those curls I go all "YAS QUEEN, WORK MAMA". Much like Juna I feel like she doesn't do a lot, she worked on a team with him quite sometimes and it was very interesting to see in most cases, but overall her presence felt a little empty, I still love her regardless. Belzei is total final boss material, he's powerful, he's smart, he's scary, everything we need from a villain. Not gonna lie, when I saw they were going to betray the Dark King I started rooting for them because I like them more as villains than I like the Dark King.

On the side of our heroines, things got more interesting as well. I think one of the charms of this part was the period where Wisdom was captured by the Seeds of Evil, I wish we had seen the girls actively trying to locate and rescue the Guardian more times, but overall it was a good experience, it revealed he had quite a lot of personality and it wasn't just another background character from the Garden of Light. Speaking of characters with personality, Pollun was a huge part this time around and even though his selfishness was annoying, and all the whining was hard to cope with, he was great, by the end of the season I acquired an appreciation for him that I didn't know it was possible for me to have, especially seeing how terrible I remembered him being. Maybe he gets worse in Max Heart and that's the image I had of him in my mind, but he's a child and he's very genuine with his feelings which leads to one of the most touching scenes in the season during the climax battle where he sorta sacrifices himself because he loves the Precure and he wants to help them SO BADLY he's willing to do anything for them no matter how scared he is. I have mixed feelings about his powers because I thought the Rainbow Bracelets were a thing because he had the power of the Prism Stones inside him but later in the season it seems that apparently that wasn't the case and I think that's kinda off, but it doesn't tickle me off that much so I'm fine with letting this pass.

If in the first half the characters were the greatest for me, I'm glad to say the second half kept the good work going and it was just as great with the characters as well. This second half had a lot more fillers, but I feel like this isn't a problem since most of these fillers were to give some development and character for the side characters which was excellent, first because made characters that were more or less just there doing nothing in the first half be more active and feel more like real people that live in this world, and second, no filler came alone and without purpose, even in the less eventful ones either Nagisa, Honoka, or Pollun had something that they could learn from those situations. From Nagisa's brother to even their teacher, I feel like most of the side characters were explored in these episodes, and it was a delight to watch them.

Nagisa had some interesting growth, I feel like this second half was more focused on her than in Honoka, which is kinda sad but I feel like I can't complain since what Nagisa got was very good. Of course I have a problem with part of her development coming from her admiration/relationship with Fujipi, but she has a lot of moments where she's more down and she gets the opportunity to reflect about herself which I appreciate, I also realized that this could've been a relationship I could root for if only their relation had any major changes throughout the season. Sadly that's not the case, for the most part, Fujipi is there unaware of everything and just living his life, while Nagisa never dares to break the status quo and actually confess her feelings which makes this relationship be stale, though it's great for Nagisa as a person and I do think it's important for her to go through some of those emotions so I'm not as mad as I was with it during the first portion.

Poor Honoka wasn't as fleshed out in this second half, part of her development was more or less intertwined with Nagisa so she didn't have a lot of opportunities to shine, which is obviously a downside. However, they chose to pick one of her most interesting plotlines from the first half and did something that was very deep, strong, and beautiful with her feelings about Kiriya which I appreciate. But I can't deny that I wish they had done some more stuff around this, I know it's hard seeing how things happened with Kiriya in his goodbye, but since they would bring him back for the final arc I would like if they had given us more especially seeing how this relationship has left such a strong impact on Honoka.

I know it sounds awful when most of my points related to character growth involve romantic interests, but even with that element it was still pretty good to watch, and one thing that I definitely like more here than in the first half is that none of their conflicts centered around a "romantic" figure was a detriment or weakened their friendship. And to me, this is what makes this second half great, honestly. Nagisa and Honoka have their boy issues but this second half don't forget these characters have a very strong and beautiful friendship, we're always reminded of that, we're always seeing them help each other, and we're always seeing this friendship evolving and moving forward. One of my favorite moments of this season is on episode 42 that is an episode solely made to showcase this friendship and it's just so powerful and emotional, I think this episode embodies everything that Futari wa is about and it's definitely a high point in this second half, in the season, and a huge landmark for the development of our heroines.

Since I mentioned Episode 42, here are other episodes that were highlights for me in this second half:

Episode 28, the one with Honoka's Grandma story from the time of the war was very touching, and it also laid down one of the most important lessons of this show, the one about Hope and Despair going back to back and we choose on what we wanna focus the most. Yes, is a somewhat naive way to see things, but it's important nonetheless and that was just amazing. It also introduced Regine and that was also a plus. Episode 30 was awesome because it delivered on the action, it was also the point where Pollun gets the power of the Prism Stones inside him and the Precure get their new finisher that is their main attack used for the rest of the season, it was great. Episode 36 got me with mixed feelings, I love the portion where we follow the Guardian as he tries to escape, but I hate the plotline going in the side of the girls because it was another one of those stories where Mepple is an asshole but ends up as a hero in the end and y'all know how much I love that, don't you?

37 was great because it was a school play where we got to see Nagisa and Honoka acting as Romeo and Juliet, but my favorite thing about this episode was seeing the girls fight IN THEIR CIVILIAN FORM against the knight Zakennas in front of a live audience, that was just marvelous. I like episode 40 because they went all Freddie Krueger and attacked the girls on their dreams, which is always interesting. And the entire final arc, from episode 47 to 49, was very great as well. It was a strong finale, even though I had a few problems with it.

And that's pretty much it. Despite my technical problems, I really enjoyed rewatching this season, it was great for me to rediscover characters and moments that I loved and also find out new passions about this wonderful season, it sparkled something on me and now I feel like the precure flame inside me is more strong than ever. Thank you so much for sticking with me through the end of this huge post once again, I hope I can see you again in the next time. Bye folks~

#Futari wa Pretty Cure #Futari wa Precure #precure

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 53)

"Chats, Flights & Late Night Delights"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

I still can't tag:

@queenieofthesouth

@kellyimagines

Colson is immovable in the back of the uber. The driver waits patiently while Luna calls Benny. She can't lift Colson sober, let alone walk them while they're both drunk.

Benny comes to save the day, helping Luna and Colson inside and the upstairs. He drops a drunken Colson on the bed to Luna's grateful, slurred Thank Yous.

Colson knocks out again once he hits the bed. She pulls both their clothes off before falling hard next to him. Drunk and tired, she passes out quickly.

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They sleep late. Colson waking before Luna. He slips out of bed and into the bathroom for a morning piss. Walking out of the bathroom, Luna's naked body in bed catches his eye.

She's so fucking beautiful...." He thinks to himself. "Fuck, I don't remember coming home last night..." Knowing he has to fly out today... "I'll book a later flight and let her sleep for a bit..." He decides. Not knowing of she's coming to Cleveland with him or not.

He pulls on black joggers and a black T. He heads downstairs for coffee. Leaving Luna to snooze away.

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Benny and Slim are in the kitchen.

"Yo." Colson greets them tiredly while grabbing coffee.

"Yo." They both reply.

"Luna got me FUCKED UP yesterday." He says into his cup after sitting down with his friends at the table. He sparks a joint.

Benny laughs. "I know, Dawg. You couldn't even stand. She had to call me to get you into the house."

"Fuck." Colson rubs his face, trying to circulate blood through it. He passes it to Slim.

"Where'd y'all go?" Slim asks, hitting the joint. He's seen Kells hungover before but this is Top 10.

"Everywhere." A smile plays on Colson's lips as he remembers yesterday. "We walked around Downtown, sharing a bottle, hitting different famous spots." He yawns. "It was REALLY fucking cool. SHIT!!!" He pulls his pant leg up. Grinning, he shows them his new ink. "And got we tattooed!!" He laughs.

Looking up from the blonde haired woman in the moon Kells now has tattooed on is calf, Slim asks as he hands of the joint to Benny. "What she get?"

Taking a second to remember, he grins. "A machine gun."

Slim shakes his head and laughs. "Y'all motherfuckers might as well just get each other's names tattooed on you."

"Nah... There's no originality in that." Luna startles them as she comes into the kitchen for coffee. She doesn't sleep well without Colson.

Wearing one of his long T shirts and her sunglasses, she slides in next to Colson at the table.

"Morning, Bunny." She kisses him on the cheek. "How are you guys?" She asks, sipping her coffee before she lays her head down on the table.

She's met with a "Good." from Slim and a "You aight, Brooklyn?" from Benny.

"Mhm. Just slowly dying." She says lifting her head off the table. "Thanks for your help last night." She answers Benny, taking her glasses off to rub her eyes for a minute before she puts them back on. Benny passes her the joint

"No problem." He laughs.

"Was I really that bad?" Colson asks.

"Yes." Benny and Luna state automatically making Slim and Colson laugh. The joint continues making it's rounds.

"I don't know, Man. I didn't see you." Slim continues to laugh, putting his hands up.

Luna lays her head against Colson's arm. "What's the last thing you remember?" She asks him.

"Tattoos. No. The graveyard. No. Dinner. I remember eating. I had a steak and mashed potatoes, right?" He looks down, asking her.

She closes her eyes behind her glasses trying to remember what she ate herself. "I don't know. I forget what I ate myself. Do you remember giving your number out to the fan?" She lifts her head.

"What!?" He asks confused.

"Yeah, some kid asked us for a picture and you gave him your number, telling him to text it to you. Check your phone." She tells him. The joint's made its way back to her. It's small. She hits it once before putting it out.

He does and sure a shit there's a crazy picture of Luna laughing with Colson's head cut off from a random number.

"You almost shook the uber driver to death when Bad Things came on too." She laughs. "You were so fucked uuuup."

"How were you not as fucked up as I was??" He asks her, puzzled.

"Because I banged that Add earlier..." She tells him.

"So did I?" He argues.

"You do them almost everyday, I don't." She shrugs.

"Whatever." He yawns again, kissing the side of her head. "You got plans?" He asks her.

"Me?" She looks around, confused.

"Yeah, Asshole." He laughs at her.

Her glasses are back off, rubbing her face now. "Uhhhh... I have to be in Minneapolis by Monday morning. Me and Ash have a radio interview and then she's got that free show at The Armory. We've gonna perform Nightmare for the first time." She tells him while yawning herself.

"You don't need to rehearse?" He asks her.

"Enh. It's one song. We'll run through it Monday beforehand." Luna tells Colson.

"Wanna come to Cleveland with me? I'm gonna have dinner with Case and Em tonight then take Case to see Captain Marvel tomorrow."

"Uhm. Fuck yes. She's only the greatest super hero in the MCU."

"I don't know about all that..." Colson dismisses her.

THIS leads to a 10 minute argument over who's better in the MCU between Luna, Colson and Slim.

"She has all the power of Tony's suit in her BO-DY." Luna argues, rolling her eyes.

"Y'all are some fucking nerds." Benny laughs at them.

Luna sucks her teeth. "I'm done arguing. You all are dumb and should know by now." She quotes Beyoncé. "Who run the world? Girls." She tells Colson and Slim flatly as she gets up for more coffee to their laughter.

Sitting back down, she lights another joint. "You book a flight yet?" She asks Colson.

"Nah, I'm a do it right now." He tells her as she passes the joint.

They chat more, passing the joint around. Everyone else is flying back to Cleveland this coming week too. The tour kicks off in less than 15 days. They'll run for a month, take a break and then hop back on. It's gonna be a long, exciting summer they all agree.

Standing at the sink together, Colson tells Luna "Stark would kick Danvers ass." With a smirk.

"I'll kick your fucking ass." She replies, cocking her head back and biting his arm.

"AHHHH!!" He laughs and goes to grab her but she's taken off.

He catches her in the living room. Throwing her over his shoulder.

Giggling she's tries to get out of his grasp. "Get off meeeee!!" She cries pulling her shirt over her ass as he carries her upstairs.

"No!" He smacks her hands away, then slaps her ass. "It's shower time." He tells her to her sighing submission.

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In the shower Colson washes Luna's new tattoo. "I fucking love it." He tells her, kissing the middle of her back after rinsing her off. "Your shoulder's looking good too."

This catches her off gaurd. They don't really talk about her shoulder. The night it happened being a sore subject for them both.

"Yeah? What makes you say that?" She asks.

"I'm just looking at it. You're supposed to see the Doc again on the 15th but we'll be on tour. I'm gonna have Ash figure out where we'll be so I can have him meet us." He tells her.

His concern melts her heart. Turning around she kisses him passionately. After breaking away, she runs both thumbs alongside his jawline. Staring into his eyes, she tells him she loves him before kissing him deeply again.

Their kisses make his dick grow. He moves his mouth to her neck. Gripping her body tight under the warm water, he kisses her all over as she moans and pulls at his hair.

"God, I want you off your fucking period." He says, sucking on her wet body.

"I know. We should be good by Monday." She breathes heavily.

"I want you NOW." He says firmly as he spins her around carefully. Leaning into the wall, she bends over for him. He runs his finger down the middle of her back, giving her goosebumps before he slides his dick inside of her.

Luna moans at the size of Colson's cock. Her nails scratch the shower wall as he thrusts himself into her. She's always been greedy with his dick, pushing him deeper into her with her hips. Fucking him backwards.

"Kiittenn..." He moans, pulling her hair back with one hand as the other rests on her hip. Pushing off the wall she slams her ass harder into him. Feeling her walls clench around him and body flush, she bucks harder.

"I'm gonna FUCKING cum, Colson!" She pants as her legs start to shake before her body explodes and her mind goes blank.

As she cums, she hears Colson in the background cum with her. Head spinning, she rests it on the shower wall. Colson lays his warm face on her bare back.

Both breathing heavy, trying to catch their breathes. They stay there for a moment as usual, exchanging I love yous and a kiss to her back as always.

"My fucking vagina is gonna fall off one of these days." Luna thinks as her head still dances from her latest orgasm.

Out of the shower Colson dresses Luna's shoulder and puts Eucerin on her tattoo.

She catches him smiling in the mirror.

"What?" She asks, amused.

"Nothing..." He meets her eye through the mirror making him grin "You got me tattooed on you."

Luna raises her eyebrows and puts up 2 fingers. Chuckling, she says "Twice."

"Twice." He nods, still grinning.

She leans her neck back as he bends down from behind to kiss her before both smiling as the continue on.

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Having checked her phone before leaving, there was a group text from Pete with Ashley. Details on locking them into next Saturday. As Colson and Luna chat on their flight to Cleveland, she remembers text.

"FUCK, I haven't mentioned shit to him yet." She thinks, irritated by her forgetfulness.

"Hey!" She interrupts whatever he's saying. "I'm sorry, that was rude but I need to tell you before I forget again."

"Hunh?" He asks her.

"Uhm. Nightmare got booked for SNL next Saturday. I requested you and the guys over the house band and got it.... I probably should've asked you first but will you do it?" She asks him, giving him a beaming 'please bunny' smile.

Colson laughs. "How do you forget SNL?" He asks her "No, like seriously?"

"I don't know? It was more Ash and Petey pulling it together. Like, she's co-hosting and shit. I'm just popping in for Alabama." She explains.

"Why aren't you hosting?" He asks her, not thinking.

Luna recoils from Colson. "Doooo you know who I am? I am NOT trying to be all up in that shit. That's totally Ash, Man." Luna inhales with eyes wide looking at him like he's crazy.

"Yeaaah, I guess that was a dumb question." He laughs at himself.

"Yeah." She confirms, nodding while laughing with him. "Sooooooo... SNL next Saturday?" She asks again.

"Oh... Fuck yeah!" He exclaims, remembering their initial conversation.

Shooting finger guns at him, she teases while smiling "Ha! Ha! You forgot too!!"

"Fuck you." He laughs. Then is back with "SNL. Cool... Yeah." Nodding at her with an amused smile. "Why'd you ask for us?"

He's always inquisitive of why she does shit.

"Cuz you cut the record with me. Duh." She laughs, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. He side eyes her. "..... And you're my boyfriend. Youuu dealt with the craziness that came along with all of that. Helping get mine and Ash's vision out there to help people, so of course" she reaches for his hand "I'm always gonna ask to have you with me for something big, when it comes to Nightmare. To me, that's as much you guy's record as ours. We all created it together and considering the context of it, I think that's important as hell. Plus, you're who I feel comfortable playing it with." She tells him with a shrug and a honest expression. Sweetness twinkling in her blue eyes.

Colson smiles and leans in to kiss her.

"I love your logic." He tells her.

They're due to land soon and are headed directly to Casie and Emma's for dinner. Anticipating the quick switch over, Luna's dressed casually in black skinnies and an oversized sweater.

There's never any shortage of conversation between Luna and Colson.

She goes on to ask about Casie coming to participate in the SNL gig too. She was in the video after all...

Colson telling her they should ask Emma first. Luna thanking him with excited kisses before they prepare to land.

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Arriving for dinner, Casie answers the door excitedly. Happy to see them both.

"DADDY!! LUNA!!" She shouts, throwing her arms around both of their legs.

Laughing, Colson scoops her up to kiss her Hello to her delighted squeals. "DAAADDYYY!!!" She laughs out with him.

Luna's stuck in the door frame, enjoying watching them.

"Hey!!!" Emma calls out, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm sorry it's a mess, you guys, let her in the door.." She laughs coming to help Luna.

It is not a mess.

Everyone's giggling as they finally come inside the house.

"How are you?" Luna and Emma greet each other warmly, both asking about the other.

Colson and Casie are rambunctious. Wrestling all over the floor.

"Wanna go into the kitchen with me? Away from these crazies." Emma laughs to Luna, pointing at the handsome man playing with his child on the floor.

Luna could watch Casie and Colson together all day. Before Emma asks, she had grabbed a shot of them that makes her heart skip a beat.

"Sure!" Luna agrees, popping her camera away before following Emma into the kitchen. Leaving her heart with them.

--------------------------------------------------

Emma offers Luna wine, which she happily accepts. Asking if she can help, Emma says yes, please, with the salad. Looking at Emma, Luna gets a little nervous as she peels and cuts up vegetable.

"We haven't spoken since brunch." Luna starts off. "I never got to ask your opinion of Nightmare...."

Emma's fussing with pasta water. "Oh! I'm sorry!!! Congratulations! I know it's doing really well!!" Emma turns to hug Luna.

While hugging Emma back, Luna starts to say "No.. No.. No.. How did you feel seeing Casie in it? As she pulls out of the hug to look a the little girl's mother.

Emma smiles at Luna's thoughtfulness. "I LOVED it!" She tells her with a squeeze before both turning back to their food duties.

Emma continuing.

"I think it was a really great experience for her to meet all those women and to know she's apart of such a powerful song. Because GIRL, we bang it when we rage!!!" Emma's laughter and candour reassures a now laughing Luna.

"That's really great." Luna beams. "I have another question... We got booked for SNL next Saturday and I was hoping you'd let her be onstage with us. Colson and the boys are our band so she should feel totally comfortable... If she wants to do it....." Luna's talking quickly as she does when she has ideas buzzing.

Emma can feel Luna's nervousness as she slices through a cucumber. She finds it endearing.

"What would she do?" Emma asks.

"I figure, draw her own picture or sign and at the end hold it up between Ash and I. Her own thoughts, her own ideas about the song. Unfiltered." Luna explains her vision, tossing the cucumbers in the the salad

Emma gets it, nodding. She really likes that Luna is interested and mindful of Casie. How she thinks to include her in important, appropriate ways.

"We'll ask her at dinner." Emma tells Luna to her giddiness.

Cheesing, Luna kisses Emma on the cheek to her surprise. "THANKS!!" She exclaims to Emma's chuckle.

Setting the table together, they touch base on more details. Casie fly out with Colson and Luna Friday after school. They'll all stay with Luna's grandmother and be back Sunday. In time for Casie to be settled and prepared for school on Monday. Emma's content with the plan.

"I'll be watching in support!" She beams at Luna.

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Dinner is delicious.

Emma made a Ricotta & Spinach stuffed Chicken Parmesan with pasta.

They enjoy wine bread and salad with it.

Emma and Luna mention SNL to an imprssed Colson and confused Casie. Once explaining it to Casie, she's over the moon. Colson still impressed that Luna talked to Emma herself. He appreciates Luna's independency and the women's growing friendship.

They finish up dinner, Colson helping Emma clean up as Luna helps Casie pack.

Hugs, kisses and Thank Yous are given before Colson, Casie and Luna head to his house.

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Back at Colson's, they change, get comfortable, find a movie to watch but have no snacks. Changing again, off to the super market they go.

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The three of them are silly in the store. Playing White Tiles are Lava. Each hopping from square to square, Luna and Colson catch eyes. Smiling at Casie's happiness.

Luna hides behind as display case. Scaring both Casie and Colsin to their delight as they run away. Luna catching and tickling the giddy little girl.

They grab ice cream, cones, toppings and head to the bakery for chocolate chip cookies. Luna jump teasing a shrieking Casie along the way.

At the bakery, Luna stands very still with her hot chocolate.

To Casie's leeriness, the little girl creeps closer and closer as Luna pretends to stare off. Once within in reach, she bops Casie's arm.

"YOU'RE IT!!" Luna declares to the little girl's squeals and giggles as they play tag. Luna letting her catch her easily but always acting shocked when she does.

"They're too fucking cute!!" Colson grins to himself. Love washing over him as he watches his girls play around and enjoy each other.

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Back at house, ice cream-cookie concoctions in hand, the three of them curl up in the couch. Casie in the middle.

They pop in The Emoji Movie. Colson and Luna laugh their asses off along with Casie. It's not long before she falls asleep between them. Resting comfortably against her dad. Colson reaches his arm across the top of the couch, touching Luna. She looks up to his smile and an I love you. She returns both.

They finish the movie together. Colson carrying Casie to her bed.

Coming back to find Luna, he guides her to his bedroom. This is her first time being here.

They cuddle together getting high, talking about Casie, SNL and other things.

They finish the joint and he cradles her face. Kissing her sweetly, thanking her for coming, telling her how much he loves her and is so grateful for how she loves Casie and gets along with Emma.

Heart and body flushed from his words. She kisses him deep into his soul. Exchanging her love and gratitude as well. Telling him there's no place she'd rather be with sweet kisses.

They light another joint. Cuddling, burning and watching Big Mouths before falling asleep together contently in each other's arms.

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To be continued......

14 notes · View notes

flyswhumpcenter · 5 years

Text

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. I don’t have any request left, so feel free to send in suggestions for this card!).

I need to write more Makaito smh

Y'all don't even know how surprised I got to see @mythgirlimagines had sent me a request. Most of all because I rarely get those, but man, that was a good surprise. I had to ask her for another duo (as I know nothing about UDG, not gonna lie), but I always love more Makaito in my life despite the appearances. I always get crazy about the worldbuilding in this AU, but in short: everyone has powers (yes, everyone, even your grandparents). They're called mages. There are three types of mages: weapon users, spell casters and healers. Sometimes there are hybrids between these models (of 2 kinds at the same time). Hybrids are chased by bounty hunters for plot reasons. Maki used to be one, but she's become a "hunter of hunters". I think that's all you need to know for this fic? Oh yeah, this fic contains some French because the main setting, the city of Hellesimbault, is heavily based on French culture. It just made more sense to keep some French in.

It should have been angstier than that, but I was in a fluffier mood today, so here you go. I really need to provide more for this ship.

-----

Flickering Lights

Summary: The night has never been safe for anyone in the darker streets of the city, yet a duo makes it way through the shadows with vigilent crimson eyes and purple thunder. Still, even the most attention doesn't always give away damage people can take, doesn't it?

Fandom: Danganronpa V3 (magical people AU) Ship: Makaito (Established)

Wordcount: 2.2K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

----

Quartier de la Lune, Hellesimbault, January. The dire cold blew in harsh winds as the dust and garbage littered on the barely lit ground fly right against the ground, their mass never quite taking off. The artificial lights flicker in incoherent rhythms, drilling into the skulls of passers-by with their constant noise you can’t quite get used to, even after hearing it for a while (it just stops being your main nuisance). The rest of the streets leading to the old Moon Temple is sunk in the night’s darkness, with only a few flashes and bursts of clarity piercing through the sea of shadows.

Personally, Nerio was one of these shadows, and had always been. She had gone through everything possible: abandoned girl, orphan raised along the nice and the bad, forced through the grinder to become a bounty hunter, now on the opposite side of the underground war. Hidden under her hood, crimson eyes focusing on any light and ears open to all possible noise, she was used to the darkness.

In fact, she was in unison with the underground, hostile, familiar universe of Hellesimbault’s darkest streets and ruins long buried by modern civilisation.

In the shadows, she felt safe as soon as she was wearing the mask of Nerio, named after a goddess of war, a bloodthirsty figure in need for a vengeance and taking it out onto bounty hunters with no hope of redemption. It felt good to shoot arrows at criminals like those who had forced her into the network as a preteen whom life hadn’t directly shown its atrocious parts to yet, and it was the one way she had ever felt alive: reclaiming her rotten childhood and early teenage years by showing them she’s now better than them.

She hadn’t quite killed her abductors, even when an untold furry had possessed her into doing so by hindering any semblance of reason she could have had, only because some guy who couldn’t get enough of her had put his hand on Enyo’s shoulder and whispered to her, in a disapproving but paradoxically soft voice:

“Maki, that’s enough.”

That was the day where she had truly stopped only considering herself as Nerio, bloodstained shadow and reluctant, yet effective, bounty hunter turned hunter slayer, a figure of the shadows, and more like whom she had been during in the daylight all this time.

All thanks to an absolute idiot she had met in class because he wouldn’t stop not wanting to talk to her.

Their tandem made no sense. She was a figure of the night, a girl shrouded in darkness, content being left alone. Her arms and legs were covered in scars, her hands calloused from handling her magical weapon, her feet permanently threaded with the liquified mana of her former adversaries. Her spirit was calculating, her character quiet, her face always covered with a mask. She never had had friends before high school had come around, before people flocked to her because she had apparently stopped being threatening to some. That was around this time that Nerio started to fade and Maki took her place, progressively, until Nerio was the persona and Maki the person.

If she was used to the horrors of Hybrid trafficking, he couldn’t have. He was a benevolent figure of the day, loud to the point of being obnoxious, rude but well-meaning, never second-guessing anything, acting before he thought. His arms and legs, displayed by much more revealing clothes than her elbow-long sleeves and opaque tights, were defined yet not showing a trace of damage like a recently sculpted statue, his hands were strong but their skin soft, his character remarkable, his face displaying a smile and never hiding anything from sight. He was popular, dizzyingly so, people constantly around him, but he had his inner circle. He had come to her, introduced himself, asked her who she was and, before she realized it, he had accepted her into this inner circle so few would have even dared dreaming about entering in the Cité Scolaire, and that was when her façade crumbled before his friends and him. Before she knew it, Kaito had found himself a night persona, Uranus, who barely was different from the person.

It pained her to have him as her partner for this very reason: he was too good for the shadows, too bright for the darkness, and he’d only be busted before she could save him. She wasn’t ready to lose him to the urban abyss, but he insisted, and his presence was too warm for her not to want it.

Still, Uranus had impressive fighting skills. His dream to one day be the first mage to reach space and discover if there was a world aside from theirs had pushed him to maintain a perfect form, despite an unfortunate illness trying to limit his life. She’d have expected him to be a weapon user, like she was, but the equivalent to his crossbow life had given him was a cape whom had the powers to create the tiniest blackholes and power up his offensive magic. They were power units in vastly different domains, sure thing, but she was still impressed by how many enemies he could take at once and still win over.

The main issue of their duet was their range: it was too long for close combat. If an enemy was to sneak up on them and force her to switch her weapon for her fists and kicks, there was no doubt she’d have a harder time taking care of them. He was more or less the same: long-range spells, very poor to non-existent support magic, a blackhole strategy that’d be more of a double-edged sword and, of course, his fairly frail constitution outside of his training. Neither was a healer, so they couldn’t possibly count on that either.

Under the full moon of the harsh January, lights flickering above them like candles on a tomb flowing with the wind, they were fighting against an ambush. A bunch of low-grade Hybrid bounty hunters, eyes staring at them with an indiscretion she was getting tired of, their hands on their weapons and only waiting for the duo to slip up. Nerio wouldn’t give them the pleasure to kill her and take her corpse away for them to get compensation for a murder, so she shot arrow after arrow, ignoring various attempted status ailments thrown at her and gusts of winds repeatedly trying to flip her skirt up. All she had to hide under the hem of her dress were tights and a holster with a material hatchet in case she was in a desperate situation; but using it in front of Uranus felt dirty. It’d be nothing but a cheap shot at life when she had proved to him countless times before she was more than competent.

Their number was dwindling more quickly than her mana, sure, but the fighting was tiring her out, most likely him too, and they had class to attend tomorrow (Kaito had managed to convince her, with the insistence of the overly cheerful Kaede). She’d better make it quick, so she charged her cheapest shots in and didn’t mind the drawbacks of wasting more of her power endurance to quickly put an end to the fight. Rapid-fire, crimson arrows it’d have to be, in the end: not quite her Final Gambit spell, which she was still trying to control, but still one powerful enough to clear through the ranks and through her mana reserves. Any child of the shadows would have learnt that exhausting their magic entirely was nothing more but signing their worse-than-death fate: being forgotten in the icy streets of the underground city.

Their adversaries were most likely scummy opportunists, because they disappeared after a few arrows had been thrown at them. It didn’t prevent her from exhaling a sigh of relief, the danger of the streets weakening around them as the lights stopped flickering. Too much magic in the air to make the one used by the electric network function properly, she supposed: it didn’t matter this much, to be frank. All she wanted to do was go back home, now that she had exterminated the vermin for the night.

Maki turned her attention back to her partner who, like her, was still transformed into his battle attire. He looked just fine, smiling at her with his darkness-eating grin and a thumbs-up. Giving him a nod, they silently decided to go back to their base, where surely Kaede and Shuichi were waiting for them before going to sleep at last. Despite her earlier loneliness, she felt safe and welcome around their little group, her companions, her friends.

Yet, despite the peace of hearing nothing but their footsteps and breathing, the mandatory silence of the underground nights pushing them not to speak to each other before they’d safely make it to their home, there was something bothering Maki. It wasn’t the sudden silence: she was used to activity dying down and coming back much, much later, when they wouldn’t be there anymore. Thinking silence was a trap in those uncharted territories was a beginner’s mistake: it was a sign towards the right direction. The narrow walls always made sounds resonate and echo to a hunter’s ears.

It was a smell in the air, the faint smell of iron. It was close to her, yet hindered by something, and she couldn’t quite put her hand on where she had smelt it before. Her confusion merely lasted a few moments, though, until she realized it couldn’t have been anything but blood tainting something, its scent retained by something else, but remaining detectable nonetheless. One source and one source only: the dark crimson puddle she was seeing on her partner’s attire.

“Kaito,” she suddenly said, stopping in her tracks.

“Hm?” He turned his attention to her, hand mindlessly over the epicentre of the issue. “What’s wrong, Maki Roll?”

“You’re injured, you idiot. I thought you wanted us to tell each other everything.”

Her eyebrows frowned.

“I am? I promised I would tell you everything, Maki Roll, you must be imagining things!”

She knew when he lied, when his voice would sound fake, when his eyes looked too much to the left and when he wouldn’t stop laughing nervously. It disturbed her that none of these cues were there.

“Your hand,” she only said as an explanation. “Look at your hand, you fool.”

Kaito, luckily, understood immediately what hand she was referring to. He took it off the wound, eyes glancing at his mostly untouched palms, then the growing stain. It surprised it at first, almost sending him in a panic, until he breathed out and ignored the nervous sweat beads pearling on his temples.

“Ah, fuck, you’re right Maki Roll! They must have gotten a hit on me… Let’s get home fast then!”

She felt a tiny smile make its way onto her face.

“I’m surprised you didn’t feel it,” she replied as they resumed their walk, gaze often glancing at the stain. “It doesn’t look too deep, at least, if you can walk this easily.”

“Yeah… Most likely a bad cut. Nothing my sidekick can’t heal!”

“…you’re going to ask Shuichi to heal that for you?”

He blinked.

“On second thought, bad idea. It’ll heal by itself soon enough.”

“That’s also a terrible option. At least put a bandage on that thing, you moron.”

“Got it!”

His eyes grew wider as he stared at her. Now, that was a look she didn’t like in the slightest: he usually gave it to her when he had a shitty idea to propose.

“Hey, Maki Roll,” he pointed his finger at her arms, “you’re injured too!”

Surprised, she stared at her forearms right afterwards, only to notice he was referring to small bruises and scratches.

“Oh, come on, you know this has nothing in common with what you could have been bleeding from, Kaito. It’s merely a scratch.”

“You should be careful too, then, if you scold me for being careless.

“I know what I’m doing, unlike you, but thank you for the concern.”

“Hey, I know what I’m doing too!”

“Sure, sure.”

He showed her a hand, palm turned to her.

“Don’t worry, that’s one not stained with blood”. His grin.

She found him ridiculous and beyond cheesy, but took his fingers in hers anyway, enlacing them together.

“As long as you don’t need me as a clutch, it’s fine.”

“Of course I don’t! I’m Uranus, Luminary of the Stars!”

Oh god. He was ridiculous, and such an idiot, but her life had only improved ever since he had arrived there. She could only partially attribute it to his idiotic side, in a way.

“Your predictability is utterly disappointing, sometimes, you know that?”

“I also know you secretly love it, Maki.”

“If you say so. There’s no discussing with you anyway.”

Right in front of her, he brushed his other hand on his attire’s pants, barely giving her the time to frown in disgusted surprise, and swiped her hood in a swift movement with the back of his hand. All of this to put a kiss on her forehead, a childish peck, that nonetheless makes her cheeks slightly heat up.

“You’re an untameable idiot, Kaito.”

“I’m your idiot, though, Maki Roll.”

She looked away, chuckling despite her best attempts at controlling herself.

“…I know, I know.”

#bad things happen bingo #makaito #momoharu #maki harukawa #kaito momota #danganronpa #ndrv3 #injury #hurt comfort #au: osas #blood #otp: harumaki #bthb 2

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ch1a-k1-06 · 5 years

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I don't really have much to post so here's some stuff about me...

Hi so I already put some of this in the description thingie for this but whatever imma tell you again cause I don't care, I'm Caitlin I'm thirteen, I use she/her and I'm panromantic asexual. I guess I should say what stuff I like/would post about so here:

TV shows:

-Supernatural

-Doom Patrol

-Umbrella Academy

-The Witcher

-whats that one show with the police woman who finds that little girl she calls Piper? The girl has powers I think doesn't she? Idk

-started watching Batwoman so idk maybe that

-pokemon, when I finally start watching it

-Fringe

-idk I used to watch Once Upon A Time, Riverdale, Runaways, Cloak and Dagger and stuff like that a while ago so maybe?

Movies:

-some marvel and maybe DC stuff too

-Frozen (both films)

-idk probably some other stuff too

Books:

-harry potter

-hunger games

-Howls Moving Castle

-Firestarter and probably other Stephen king stuff if I get more books

-shadowhunters? Some Mortal instruments but I haven't seen the show in ages and haven't read all the books, but also that one other series with Emma and Julian.

-divergent and the fault in our stars once I actually read them.

-other stuff?? Maybe??

Music:

-My Chemical Romance

-Fall Out Boy

-Panic! At The Disco

-Twenty One Pilots

-Bring Me The Horizon

-other stuff like Avril Lavigne, Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens, Paramore, Melanie Martinez, and loads of other stuff too.

????:

-Im way too fricking shy and quiet, but sometimes I'm really loud and shout or talk too much, like if I had a volume it's either 0-5 or 70-100 there's no in-between. I either don't speak or speak too much and too loudly.

-Not Okay™ but may talk to a friend soon so hopefully that could help, but at the same time I don't wanna bother her and tell her everything.

-was good in school, mostly top classes but wouldn't be surprised if that changed, don't really listen or do much work, can't concentrate much, just end up drawing. Hella forgetful too, I don't know what lessons I have, forget homework, or remember but waits till the last minute.

(i feel like I should stop maybe this is too much information)

-i like memes

-just got a guitar, gonna learn some stuff(if y'all have song ideas that would be nice idk what to learn) I also have had a piano for a while but I don't play much I need way may practice.

- art is cool I like it but I'm not that good at drawing, wanna get better at it(my Instagram, Oh_Ms_Believer_2006, has some of my stuff, may post my painting from art class tomorrow)

-i support the LGBTQ community obviously cause I'm part of it

-im sorry about this it's probably to much info I'm so sorry I just don't know what else to post I'm sorry I know its too much.

-terrible at conversations, and friendships clearly, though I have friends I don't talk to them much and I'm kinda not really in the group, you know? Not invited, not involved in much, rarely spoken to/texted. I had someone but either they're really fricking busy or they're ignoring me, no messages in like a week. If y'all want a friend I am one hundred percent ok with that I'd love a friend especially if you like some of the same stuff, but if not thats cool too!

I'm so sorry about this.

So yeah y'all want a friend/someone to talk to, I'll try to be a good friend or help or whatever. I should mention that you should not follow me if you are racist, sexist, homophobic/transphobic or something. That's not okay.

Again i am so sorry about this.

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minaminokyoko · 6 years

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Captain Marvel: A Spoilertastic Review

Well, here we are. Our first female-led Marvel movie (unless you count Ant Man and the Wasp, which I kind of do because Scott was basically useless and Hope ran the whole movie like a boss, but too bad she ran the show on a dull, rushed movie). How does it measure up?

It's fine.

I'd coin Captain Marvel as good, not great. It's definitely a popcorn flick, in the same vein of Ant Man for sure in terms of where it fits in our giant pantheon of MCU movies. I'd rank it dead center, so slightly underneath Cap 1 and Thor 2, but above Doctor Strange. I think Ant Man is a good comparison for the tone and the enjoyment of this movie, although it does do more to characterize the main lead than Ant Man did for Scott Lang. To be fair, though, somehow they end up in the same spot for my personal rankings.

So let's dive in and see why.

Overall Grade: B-

Pros:

-Plenty of action. No shortage on that whatsoever.

-Lots of off-world adventures, for those fans who sometimes are annoyed that too many MCU movies are earth-based. We don't hit earth until about the halfway point and there are still some shenanigans then.

-The dynamic between Carol and Fury is a lot of fun. Larson and Jackson work off each other's energy very well and the banter feels fun and familiar without ever veering into any weird territory. Fury is just as effective as ever at her side, and it's before he becomes full on grumpy Dad Fury, so he's a lot less cold and it's fun to see.

-It was also delightful getting to see Coulson one more time, although it's a cameo, not a whole role as some of the trailers sort of imply.

-The female relationships are probably the strongest in the Marvel lineup, aside from Black Panther. Particularly Carol, her best friend Maria, and Maria's daughter. We don't see a ton of it, but it's just enough to put a huge grin on your face. It's very warm and endearing. I also like that Maria was not only a supportive best friend struggling to get over her loss, but she got to join the action as well, and it was badass. I really am happy with Marvel pushing forward to give black women more representation in the superhero genre. Too many folks think black women in film are only sassy best friends or baby mamas or Tyler Perry stereotypes. We love sci-fi/fantasy just as much as everyone else, and so I loved seeing two beautiful black actresses shining next to Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson. It lends the film a lot of heart.

-Brie Larson is relatively decent in the role. She has some moments better than others, but overall, she did a good job. It never felt like she couldn't handle the work of beating some ass, and she sold me far more than Gal Gadot did as Wonder Woman. Which, yes, I know, it's unfair and kind of tasteless to compare them, but I have to note it since I didn't care for the WW movie that this is what I was talking about with film presence. Gal Gadot, to me, looks like a supermodel wearing a Wonder Woman costume. To me, she never embodied the poise, agility, and strength that Diana has in the comics or in the animated series. I believed Gadot more during the softer parts of the WW movie, but she couldn't pull off the action because she just doesn't have the presence. Larson does, imo. She carries herself in a manner that makes me feel like she can kick your ass. She has a stance and a stature that allows me to feel her strength, and it's in line with other Marvel women like Widow, Okoye, or Scarlet Witch.

-My favorite part of the movie is hands down the "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt scene. Oh my God. I was internally squeeing and singing along with the lyrics while she kicked ass. I was so delighted to see them perfectly use that song that I already liked in high school anyway, and it just worked so well.

-I also liked the montages of Carol getting back up. That is a really, really important image for the girls growing up to see. It's not about how many times you fall. It's about how many times you still get back up. That's great. We fall and get dirty and scuffed and mocked and hated. But we still get up and try again every time. Love it. It's very empowering.

-The de-aging looked pretty good. Jackson is tougher since he's gained weight since the size he was back in the 90's but they filled in his wrinkles well enough. Coulson's looked better, although I did notice just it a tad bit during the stairwell scene, but overall, I thought it was well done.

-Gosh, her costume looks amazing. I want it. I want to wear it for Halloween. It's gorgeous.

-The sequence of the Skrulls acquiring her memories was very neat and uniquely done. Kudos.

-THE MOTHERFUCKING FIRST END CREDITS SCENE. Y'ALL. I SCREAMED. I SCREAMED AND CLAPPED MY HANDS SO HARD I HURT THEM. OH MY GOD. SHE'S ON EARTH. THE QUEEN IS ON EARTH AND WE SHALL ALL BE SAVED. SHE IS GOING TO TURN FUCKING THANOS INTO FUCKING PURPLE CLAM CHOWDER WITH HER BARE HANDS FOR KILLING FURY AWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Ahem. Sorry. I am really goddamn excited about that tiny piece of Avengers: Endgame because Marvel and the Russos have been so fucking stingy with details. We still don't know the plot. We only have that 30-second Superbowl spot and the Sad Stark trailer. I was livid they didn't give us a final trailer in front of this movie, but I guess with it a month and change away, they're just banking on us frothing at the mouth wanting more. Jerks. But anyway, yes, this fucking scene is mint and I wish I could rewind it.

-Nick naming the Avenger Initiative after her was a great cherry on top moment.

-I fucking lost it when Nick started singing “Mr. Postman.” Deadass, I just started listening to that song about a month ago thanks to that one famous Vine where those dudes sung it acapella. I was dying. You go, Nick.

Cons:

-This movie overall has a bit of a bland taste to it. It's most revolving around Carol. The problem is that I think they were too chicken to dive deeply into who she is and her personality and her desires because they were afraid the feminists would complain that they made her too soft, so they replaced it all with action. Which is fine, some people just want a girl kicking ass, but I think it did Carol and Larson a disservice by rushing everything and doing drive-by characterization. The dialogue doesn't stick as well due to the bland flavoring, for example. If you ask me who Carol Danvers is, I can't really tell you. I can tell you what she does, but not who she is. I regret that probably the most out of everything. This movie is a bit of a vehicle than a movie where we discover who she is. We discover what she is, but not who she is. She's kind of just every tough, stubborn, smartass female lead you could see in maybe an Avengers OC fic on AO3. She really needed more distinct quirks and likes and dislikes, and I really fault them for cutting out her life on the Kree planet. It would have shown us so much more about her if we knew what her Kree life was like juxtaposed against her original human life, and it could up the stakes and help them sink it, and give more immediacy and concern to the dangers she faced.

-The villains were telegraphed. Again, people ding Marvel for this all the time. It's because they seem to struggle with balance. Often, the villains are thin to cut down the running time by not developing them at all. It's a shame. I've always found Jude Law very entertaining and I think they should have given him something to work with other than Obvious Bad Guy Pretending To Be Good. It was so transparent, much like the bitchy sister villain from Incredibles II. He might as well have been twirling a mustache. I mean, any dude who tells you your emotions are bad is probably not on the up-and-up. And it would have been better to see him and Carol square off at the end in an emotional battle than for it to just be a cheap shot and a joke. But I digress.

-While there was a lot of action, aside from the "Just a Girl" sequence, I will forget it all by morning. I think they wanted the movie to have mass appeal, so a lot of it comes across as generic. The stuff that stands out more are bits like finally seeing what alien Goose actually was or some of Fury's quips and the bits with Maria's daughter and Carol. The action itself is serviceable, but I'd have liked it to have more flavor if possible.

-Not outlining the limit to Carol's powers. This is going to be tough lining up with Endgame because she's so god-like we're gonna wonder if she just bitchslaps Thanos and that's the end. She feels overpowered without the chip limiting her, so I would have liked them to give us some kind of idea as to how she won't just wipe the floor with him in retribution in Endgame.

-Nitpick: Nick losing his eye to Goose annoyed me. People called it. I didn't want them to be right, but ugh, they were. It was a bit too silly for me.

-Nitpick: They really didn't need to waste our time with the second end credits being Goose puking up the Tesseract. We knew he did. You didn't have to show it, dummies.

-Nitpick: Was hoping for some 90's era cameos from at least one other Avenger, but no such luck. Damn. What a letdown.

I had fun, and I am eager to see her fit into the rest of the MCU. And I am also selfishly even more interested in Kamala Khan someday popping in as the new generation of heroes. Please, God, give me Kamala Khan. I want her and my son Peter Parker to team up and be the cutest superhero dorks ever. But until then...God help us all. Endgame is coming.

Enjoy the sunlight coming off of Ms. Danvers.

Because it's finna get dark up in here, my children.

See you in Endgame.

Kyo out.

#captain marvel #captain marvel (2019)#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #movie review #film review #carol danvers

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