#yeah i missed 2 things cause idk what to do

[hohotaro]

Wait, posting this also cause this is my new agenda as of late

[dilfian]

4 hour work<3 just that easy<3 kiss my ass l*wes<3 lol

[colie-nne]

captured?

pairing: daniel ricciardo x photographer!reader | instagram au

summary: some bantering with the one and only daniel ricciardo.

requested: yes | no

a/n: I was bored and I missed danny ric so here is something I did for a hot minute, sorry if it's a mess. requests are open

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo and 108,237 others

yourusername round 1: more unreleased DR3 pics like you guys requested

(tagged: mclaren, danielricciardo)

view all 492 comments

user The smile he gives y/n is breathtaking.

user more, please!!!🫶🏻

landonorris when will you release mine? i'm waiting

yourusername sorry, Lando. you'll have to wait in line landonorris Hey! wasn't I the one who gave you the idea danielricciardo but I'm her favourite.

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 452,887

danielricciardo round 2: capturing the photographer

view all 192,230 comments

user why is y/n on the floor😭😭😭

user not Daniel joining his girlfriend's photo trends

user i love this wag so much

user same user oh to be this kind of wag user same (2)

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 547,923 others

yourusername round 3: My Boys 🧡

(tagged: mclaren, danielricciardo and landonorris)

view all 318 comments

user my boys😭

user so is lando like their child or something?

user yeah, i think so user idk maybe more like an annoying little sibling landonorris .... user i'm sorry🥲

danielricciardo my love❤️

yourusername why are you dropping things like this out of nowhere 🫣 danielricciardo cause i can user y/n being shy when danny shows love is cute

user i love this thing that they're doing

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 643,052 others

danielricciardo round 4: capturing the photographer off-guard

view all 344,754 comments

yourusername why the pictures?

danielricciardo you look lovely in it yourusername even whilst i'm hibernating? danielricciardo always, even if you look like a caterpillar and wake up like a bear

user the transition from posting unreleased f1 photos to making the world feel single is huge

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 163,994

yourusername round 5: payback?? (sorry for not posting mclaren pictures, the man had awakened the beast)

view all 4,238 comments

user this series went from unreleased McLaren pics to dumping their whole ass relationship on instagram.

landonorris put those grippers away, mate

danielricciardo never😍 yourusername the reason why I had to repost this, to be honest

user they're so goofy🤩

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 449,201 others

danielricciardo round 6: will end this on a good note (she's threatening to post ungodly pictures of me so I had to). still love you!!

(tagged: yourusername)

view all 254,892 comments

yourusername still?? kidding i love you too

user y/n reciprocating his love publicly, what a day danielricciardo aww my love yourusername ok, now...

user he's so boyfriend material

user when will i get my own dr3?

landonorris does this mean that daniel has rizz?

danielricciardo yes yourusername no and close your eyes, child alex_albon I will pretend I didn't see anything, mother landonorris I'm already blind so count that in

yourusername

liked by mclaren, landnorris, danielricciardo and 832,019 others

yourusername round 7: ending this chaotic exchange with the pictures i was supposed to post. Hope you love these, just like how much i love taking them.

(tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris, and mclaren)

view all 604,954 comments

user i love the unreleased pictures so much!!!

yourusername thank you!! will post once I've been granted permission again landonorris mate, you don't need to ask. Post them already yourusername do you want me to get fired? user lol

redbullracing Can we get you to take photos of the team?

danielricciardo no mclaren no landonorris no yourusername sorry, but no user y/n is where daniel is, you can never separate them.

user aaaa the headband pictures are to die for!!!

[uglypastels]

Caught Me Slippin' | escort!eddie au

(a/n) yes, this fic is based on the Kiss Quotient, and, therefore also Pretty Woman. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll for me to work on this fic. I had a lot of fun with it! So, even though its a bit all over the place, haha, I hope you still like it.

If you want to see more of this fic, please send an ask and we can chat about it but Do Not Ask For Part 2. This is a One Shot.

Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

Word count: 13.2k

Warnings: SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. dual POV. rich!female!reader. shorter than Eddie. self-consciousness. slight miscommunication - quickly resolved. swearing. drinking. awkwardness. [mention of infidelity, side characters]. non-monogamous relationship. smut. male sex work (obviously). slight dom! Eddie. inexperienced!reader. mentions of bdsm- bondage, sadomasochism. nipple piercings. nipple play. fingering. oral (f receiving). light pussy slapping. Eddie has an innocence kink. I'm probably not representing sex work 100% accurately, but this is [fan]fiction. You should always take it with a grain of salt. + apparently, kind of angsty, idk i guess I'm dead inside.

if you think I'm missing any warnings, please let me know, and I'll add them. if you do not like the sound of any of these- then this is not for you. do not read.

All the errors left unlearned, oh

But I am the luckiest guy

Not the loneliest guy in the world

- David Bowie, The Loneliest Guy

What the hell were you doing? 

Sitting at a bar, which was mistake number two. One of many, for that matter. The third was ordering a drink you knew you wouldn’t drink but had picked when panic swooped over you as the bartender walked up. The red liquid looked quite pretty, but you could smell the alcohol the second the girl put the glass in front of you. An attempt at a sip was made, and you brought it to your lips, but the bitterness overwhelmed you. 

There was one thing you had gotten right, and that was at least picking a bar that wasn’t crowded. The music played at just the right volume, and people kept to themselves, to their booths and their tables. You tried to let your mind wander off, not to overthink– that would only cause more anxiety– but it always went back to what the people around you were talking about. You never meant to be nosy, and you never butted in… but it was entertaining what random strangers had to say to each other.

— You’re shitting me. 

— No, I’m serious. Sarah told me herself. She walked in, and there he was, fucking their pool boy. 

The table behind you erupted in a chorus of gasps. 

— Poor Sarah, though. 

— Yeah, well, she had been sleeping with her yoga instructor. 

How were people so comfortable talking about such things in public? Where everyone could listen in? You almost felt bad for this Sarah that her complicated marriage was being shared with the entirety of this small bar, surely then retold all across the city.

You glanced around you, side to side. The bar counter was quite long, with enough space for eight barstools to stand next to each other. Besides yours, four more were occupied. Having opted for the last chair, you were worried about someone sitting on one of your neighbouring chairs, but luck had been in your favour.

That is, until he showed up. 

Your first, and probably, the biggest mistake that you made that night.

♤

From the second that Eddie sat down beside her, he could tell something was wrong. He always could with such things. As well as assume what might have been the cause of the problem. 

Her eyes widened, nearly doubled in size, as he sat down next to her. He couldn’t have made a mistake; she had sent what she would look like and be wearing, and the description was accurate. She should have known what Eddie would look like as well; that’s basically what the whole selection was based on, look, and yet… the way she stared at him… he had the urge to wave his hand in front of her to make sure she wasn’t going into shock. 

‘Hey,’ instead, he opted for a kind smile as he leaned against the bar, asking for a quick confirmation of her name, and took a moment to take her in properly while she defrosted and returned to reality.  She was cute, to his surprise, definitely not the type he would usually be coming across these nights. Pretty and young, but mostly, shy. The bar was definitely not in her comfort zone, and he had picked up on that the second he noticed het sitting there, back stiff in nerves, drink untouched except for the little straw she stirred around in circles mindlessly. At first, he thought, maybe it’s all an act. The shy and naive girl next door, he was into it, but no. Now he knew better; she was terrified. 

A few seconds later, when his eyes moved back up to her face, she spoke her first words. 

‘Who are you?’

♤

There had been a mistake. There must have been. Whoever the guy sitting next to you was, he was not the guy you had paid for. 

Jesus that sounded so stupid. How could you have been so dumb thinking it was a good idea to hire a guy for the night. As if that would make you feel better, make all your problems disappear. 

The man blinked in confusion. Your reaction had clearly been a surprise. As he stumbled over his words, you took him in quickly. 

Long brown hair fell over his shoulders in messy waves. He had layered up, but not for practicality. You couldn’t see how the leather jacket or the denim vest over a thin t-shirt would help him against the evening cold, not to mention his ribbed jeans. Overall he looked like he had been directly cut out of an 80s rock magazine. Sure, some women must be into that kind of look; you couldn’t even deny he was pretty attractive, but it was not what you had wanted. Not for now. You needed something simple. Comfortable. Easy.

Those large rings and metal chains were most definitely not comfortable. Or simple. Or easy. 

Oh god. 

♤

‘I’m Eddie,’ he stated, hoping it would clear something up, but her confused stare didn’t falter. ‘Didn’t you book…’ Eddie knew all the people around him were poking their noses into everyone’s business, so he tried to pick his words wisely, ‘... the appointment?’ Fuck, did he walk up to the wrong girl? He knew it would have been too good to be true to get an actual girl his age. People always lied on these forms. He was ready to apologise and walk away, but she answered. 

‘I did.’ Her eyes wavered again over him. ‘But not you. There must have been some kind of mistake, I–’ 

‘Is everything good here?’ The bartender walked up, towel across her shoulder, her piercing blue eyes digging right through Eddie. Her question had been directed at the girl, and she nodded quickly. 

‘All good, just a little misunderstanding.’ 

‘Alright then,’ The bartender sent Eddie another suspicious look before heading to the other side of the counter to take another order. This was fucking fantastic. Yeah, just great. 

♤

‘Ok, so who did you think you were meeting?’ Eddie asked when the woman behind the bar walked away, slightly backing away from you, letting his shoulders fall.

You tried to remember the name of the guy who caught your attention last evening. Would the name mean anything to Eddie? You didn’t expect all these guys to hang around together...

‘Shit, yeah, ok, that makes sense.’ You could see all the puzzle pieces coming together behind his eyes. ‘He’s out on a date tonight as well. They must have sent us each other’s… wait,’ he quickly grabbed his phone. 

♤

Eddie searched through his emails. It didn’t take long to ignore the few spam messages he had gotten since this morning. And there it was. The booking confirmation he had received. Having gotten them so often, he had read it on autopilot, not even realising that his own name was missing. All he had needed, he thought, was his client’s information. But there it was, literally the first two words of the email: Dear Steve… 

Oh, the office would have a field day with this. 

But some of him also could not wait to ask Steve how his date went. 

♤

‘Yeah, they fucked it up,’ after a few seconds, Eddie had turned his phone around to show you an email. Even though you only needed the first two words to understand the mistake that occurred, you took the time to read as much of it as possible to make sure it was real. From what you could tell, it seemed legit. Just what business operated solemnly through emails… and apparently, not even automated ones. 

‘I’m really sorry for the inconvenience,’ Eddie apologised as he pulled his phone back and placed it into his pocket. ‘I can call the office and get you a refund. I promise you that this is usually nothing of the standard we usually operate at.’ You appreciated his professionalism. Despite never thinking you were that judgemental, perhaps you had actually judged him a bit too harshly at first glance. And he was quite attractive… 

‘No, wait,’ you stopped him before he could dial the number of his boss, or whoever was in charge. ‘Uhm… did your… friend… send you something? About his date?’ Steve was now, of course, also on the wrong job. Eddie looked up at you for a second, before glancing down again at his phone to check his notifications. 

‘No, haven’t heard anything from him. I guess the other person didn’t seem to care which one of us they got.’ he chuckled, which surprised you. Did other people not care about who they slept with? You get to pick a person for a reason, don’t you? 

‘I don’t need a refund.’ You stated after a short moment. Eddie glanced up once more.

‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money–’ 

‘No, I mean, I would like to continue the night… with you.’ This was, for sure, getting out of your comfort zone, right? Being adventurous, getting a life, all that shit your friends nagged you about for years. Eddie smiled with the corner of his mouth. 

‘Alright then, would you like to get out of here?’ 

‘Yes, please,’ you let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the volume in the space picked up quite a lot as more people entered, drowning out your conversation, but it was getting a bit too much for you. ‘Just… one minute.’ you stood up, heading to the bathroom, but Eddie called your attention for one more second. 

‘You forgot your purse.’ he looked down at the ground where your bag was lying. You gave him an awkward smile and picked it up before making your way to the back of the bar.

Closing the stall door behind you, you wished for some decent internet; thankfully, it wasn’t the worst. You didn’t bother trying to be quick about it. There was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were looking him up online. With shaking hands, you typed in the name of the agency where you had found Steve. They had a list of all their “models”, as they nicely labelled them, and you scrolled through them. There was the guy you had planned on spending the night with. You had picked him because he looked sweet, and hot, obviously, but with enough cockiness thrown in the mix to tell you he knew what he was doing. And the little sales pitch the website had written up for him to sell the fantasy worked well. You didn’t bother rereading it now, but it was something to do with “the sweet jock that knows how to take care of his girl”. It was extremely cheesy, you were more than aware of that, but cheesy was good. It was safe. 

Your friends would have probably laughed at you. 

They probably would have picked out a guy like Eddie. 

Speaking of the guy waiting for you at the bar, you found his profile. First thing first, the picture. That was definitely him; you recognised the unruly dark hair and brown eyes. He had several photos posted in his profile, like most of the men on the website, and they were of semi-professional quality: self-taken, but with a very nice camera and lighting. He had put effort into his presentation. First, there was the portrait, showing his handsome face, shirtless but cropped to the shoulder, revealing enough of the silver chain around his neck but not showing what was actually hanging off it. 

The following picture was a full-body pose, with clothes on that were not significantly different from the ones he was wearing now. No denim vest, but a different leather jacket on top of a black shirt. Dark denim jeans with a belt, buckled by what looked like to be steel handcuffs… had he been wearing that tonight as well? 

Your throat tightened up as you swiped to the next post, which was, of course, the obligatory nude. All the “models” had to have them, since that was basically what people paid for. If it wasn’t for the fact that the site saw itself as one of the “classier” agencies out there, the naked pictures would have been the only ones available. You, for one, appreciated the variety. 

Eddie was posed on a bed, on his knees. With one hand in his hair, and the other over his thigh, he didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Despite not even looking at the camera, the smug smile on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He got you looking, and he knew you liked it. Yet, what you couldn’t stop looking at were the tattoos that covered his pale skin. Dozens of them, at least, varying in size and style, covering most of his arms, upper legs, ribs…

You scrolled on, remembering he was still waiting for you outside, but the next picture didn’t make anything better. 

It had been a session shot. You had stumbled across similar ones on your initial look at the website. The men posing out the act of some kind of intercourse. Different positions, different actions, whatever described their style in the profession. For Eddie, that included the shot of a naked woman in bed, the same bed in which he had taken the previous picture. Her limbs were spread apart, tied to the bed corners. Her eyes were covered with a black and white bandana, and the rest of the features tightened in bliss as Eddie was positioned between her legs. His mouth was right at her core. If that wasn’t enough, he had put some props up on display next to the woman; some extra handcuffs, a vibrator and what you assumed to be a flogger. 

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

♤

She returned after a few minutes, and Eddie could immediately tell his assumption was right. The poor thing couldn’t look him in the face. She sat back down on the barstool, holding onto her purse, lip between her teeth and eyes on anything but him. Yeah, she had looked him up. 

In all honesty, he thought it was a good thing. He didn’t care for people who didn’t do their research into things. Saying that, as quite a spontaneous person, you couldn’t jump into things head first all the time. Sometimes, it was important to test the waters. Make sure there were no sharks swimming around.

‘I paid for your drink,’ Eddie remembered. She looked at him, stunned. 

‘Oh, you really didn’t have to.’ Did she seem apologetic? 

‘Please, its the least I can do, for, you know, being the wrong guy and all.’ He smiled, hoping she would return the favour. The corner of her mouth curved up the smallest amount, still quite unsure of the situation. 

‘Really, I–’ she was ready to get her wallet, most likely pay him back, but Eddie stopped her by placing his hand over hers. That made her freeze, look back up at him. Eddie felt two pairs of eyes on him. Hers, and the bartender behind him, most definitely reassessing the whole situation. Everything about this evening was going to shit. He could probably wave his perfect 5-star rating goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he for sure as hell was not going to get put on any registers tonight. However, trying to seduce a stranger into bed with him when he is so clearly not the type for this girl… why was he even trying so hard?

He didn’t like using the term “vanilla”, it got too much of a bad rep, but that is what she seemed to be. Her clothes weren’t flashy, not even considering for “outgoing”. She wasn’t the type to go out and hook up, let alone get an escort. He wasn’t surprised she had decided to go for a guy like Steve. But Steve wasn’t here; Eddie was. He now had the job of taking care of this girl in any way she wanted him to.

‘Ok, shall we?’ She took a deep breath as she got up. 

‘Are you–’ maybe they should talk about this? He didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. 

‘C’mon,’ next thing he knew, she grabbed Eddie by the wrist and whisked him off the barstool, dragging him along outside. It was early in the year, but late in the evening. The air was crispy, and the wind blew harshly. Eddie had definitely not dressed warm enough for the night, but that would have been an understatement for her. She would freeze in a few minutes. 

‘I got a room in the hotel just across the corner,’ she spoke, rather determined. Some people might have mistaken it for confidence, but Eddie saw the other signs. Her clenched jaw, her consistent avoidance of eye contact… she was putting on a brave face. And that’s how people get into situations they don’t want to be in. 

If it had been warmer, he would have stopped them on the street, but he had to get her out of the cold, so he let the girl drag him across the sidewalk to the hotel's entrance. It was big. The warm lighting reflecting off of all the decor, giving it a golden glow. 

She did not stop walking until they reached the elevator. She clicked the button, and the arrow above the doors pointed down. The numbers slowly descended from 14. 

‘I know you looked me up.’ Eddie started, having no idea how to introduce the topic fluently. 

‘Ok.’ She was biting her lip nervously. 

‘So I know you know what my usual gig is.’ They both watched the numbers go down. 7… 6… 

‘So we’re on the same page.’ She glanced up at him; he could see it in the reflection of the metal doors. 

‘I don’t think we are.’ The elevator pinged open as Eddie said so. They walked inside. 

‘What do you mean?’ She finally looked him in the eye, only momentarily, but he saw that some of her fear slowly faded as she pressed the button to her floor. 15. 

‘That, yes, I usually am pretty rough with my clients,’ he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, but could anyone blame him? He enjoyed his work. ‘But that’s because they want me to be rough.’ He looked at her intensely. Not to intimidate her, but to show her the seriousness of his words. ‘I don’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. You paid for an evening with… well, not me, but it’s all the same. If you get your money’s worth from a good pounding, I’m more than happy to oblige. From cuddling and watching a movie? All fine by me.’ 

♤

It’s all the same. 

But it wasn’t, was it? They weren’t all the same. 

‘What about you?’ you asked just as the elevator opened on your floor. Eddie let you walk through first. Now, you couldn’t look away from him, letting your head almost spin around a whole 360 to get your glance at him. 

‘What about me?’ He had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be anything scary about him. His hair was soft. His jacket, while not exactly winter-weather proof, looked cozy. The patches on his vest were hand sawn. With an image of him sitting at home, sewing them on, one by one, you got a sudden urge to ask about them, but who did that? Surely, in your situation, questions like that were out of bounds. 

‘What do you like?’ 

‘That doesn’t matter,’ he chuckled, which confused you. 

‘Doesn’t it? I might not be the most knowledgeable about the whole sex thing, but… shouldn’t both people involved be getting off? Doesn’t that make it better?’ You had reached your door. Weirdly, from having focused on the conversation as you walked, you didn’t feel any nerves unlocking the door. The room was dark, and you switched the light on. The nerves still didn’t bubble up. You could do it.

‘I suppose so– wait, you’re not a virgin, are you?’ 

You shook your head no. 

‘Ok. not that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone’s living life at their own pace, I just don’t feel comfortable with that kind of responsibility. No one’s first time should be with….’ 

‘A professional?’ you raised your eyebrow, suggesting a possibly more classy term for what he wanted to say. 

‘Nice.’ He smiled, and made his way over to the bed. You watched him get comfortable on the edge as you took off your light jacket. Your arms were freezing from the cold air outside, but the hotel room was cosy. Not to mention, the nerves were heating you up once more by the second. This was it. Eddie spread his legs wide, almost calling for your eyes to look at his thighs and how they stretched the material of the jeans. 

When your eyes moved back up to his face, you were terrified to see that he was staring right back at you, devouring you with his gaze. He definitely saw you checking him out. But it was becoming harder to concentrate when you looked at how his large hand grazed over the faint stubble on his face. 

‘C’mere,’ he said with a nod, and thoughtlessly, you followed his order. Eddie took you by both hands once you were close enough and placed them on his shoulders, then let his hands settle on your waist. His eyes found yours for a quick check. When you gave him the green light with a smile, he immediately mirrored it and asked: ‘what were your plans for this magical evening?’ He briefly tightened his grip on you and kept moving his hands up and down lightly as you tried to respond. As if that wasn’t hard enough with his eyes staring deep into you. 

‘No, uhm, nothing special.’ You didn’t need special. Special meany complicated, and you just needed someone to help you out with the basics. 

‘Making it special is kind of my one job, you know,’ he pulled you in for a hug so that his face was only a few inches away from your stomach. His arms now enveloped your frame, hands comfortably positioned over your ass. A complete stranger was hiking up the hem of your shirt, touching your bare skin underneath it. ‘So, what is it that you want?’ When he pulled up enough of your shirt to actually reveal the skin underneath, he placed a soft kiss on your side. That feeling alone felt electric. He kept on leaving fluttering kisses over your middle. It was a strange sensation as well as a pleasing one. So simple, and yet it had a great effect that you couldn’t quite explain. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to concentrate on Eddie’s question as his kisses continued. What did you want from this night? But should you tell him the complete truth? Wasn’t there some way to avoid the embarrassing details? Then again… how could he ever help you with your needs if he didn’t know what they were?

‘I want…’ you gasped lightly when his teeth grazed your skin. For some reason, that pushed you over the edge to just put everything you worried about out there. You were already here, in this hotel room, with him. Fuck it. 

♤

‘I want you to help me be good at sex.’ 

Eddie didn’t mean to stop. He saw in her reaction that that had been the wrong thing to do. She must have seen his widened eyes and taken it for judgement, while really, it had just been a small surprise. He wasn’t exactly used to people asking him to teach them how to have sex. 

‘Sorry, uhm, nevermind. Just ignore me.’ She scratched at her neck while looking away. That won’t do. Eddie had to fix this before they would do anything else. 

‘No, wait. Let’s… let’s talk this through for a moment.’ He led her by the hand and let her sit on the bed next to him. ‘Get comfortable. Is there anything in the minibar?’ he noticed the small fridge in the closet across the room and hoped she would understand his question to ask permission to use the service provided in the room. 

‘Go ahead, take anything you want.’ 

‘Living large, are we?’ He cocked his brow before making his way over to the minibar. The selection of drinks was quite understated for a place like they were in. two cheap beers, a small bottle of champagne and two sodas. From what he had gathered at the bar, she didn’t seem to be a big drinker, so he grabbed a beer and a soda can. ‘Here.’

‘Oh, thanks.’ She didn’t look up at him as she took the can from him. Fuck, what was she embarrassed for? He doubted she would speak up in the conversation by herself, so just started out with a question. ‘Why do you think you need help with sex?’ She said she wasn’t a virgin, so she’s had experience. With a glance at her hands, he saw no ring or sign of regular wear of one. That, of course, didn’t exclude the option of a boyfriend or a partner. Maybe even a guy she just wanted to impress. The possibilities were endless, and for some strange reason, at the thought of her having sex with someone else, a strange feeling started gnawing at Eddie’s guts. 

‘Because I’ve had sex a few times and so far it’s been awful.’ She sighed. ‘But I know that, to get better at it, I would have to go and endure endless dates to find a guy who would want to sleep with me, but then what if I do meet a great guy but just put him off because I’m shit in the sack?’

‘Don’t you believe that, if you did really find the right guy, he would help you? Or not even mind your alleged lack of skills “in the sack”?’ Eddie asked, taking a sip of beer. She just looked at him with a look that told him everything. Right. Men are egoistic scum. She had a point.

‘Sorry, you must think I’m insane.’  She tapped on the top of the can. The metal ticking sounded hollow in the quiet room. 

‘I really don’t.’ If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a moral spine, he would have happily told her about some of his other clients. 

‘Yeah, but I’m just wasting your time talking your ears off with absolute nonsense,’ she tried to laugh at it, lessen the tension. 

Eddie leaned over the bed on his elbow. ‘Don’t you know that escorts are the new therapists?’ 

‘Wasn’t that bartenders?’

‘I brought you your drink, didn’t I? Call it a 2-for-1 combo deal.’ He put his beer in the air for a toast and took another sip. ‘And I was serious earlier. You already paid for the whole night, so I’m all yours, sweetheart’ He hoped that didn’t sound dismissive. The last thing he wanted to do (again) was to upset or offend this girl, who genuinely looked and seemed amazing. The idea of her not being able to find someone for herself, having to go down the process of finding someone like him to make her feel good… 

‘Are all the guys at your agency this nice?’ she looked up from the lip of her can, bringing his mind back into the room.

‘No, Steve is a giant dick,’ Eddie laughed.

‘Right, while you have one,’ she teased.

‘Ha. Funny.’ He pointed at her in appreciation before taking a sip of the beer. ‘But I suppose you’re not wrong.’ She had seen his pictures; she knew what he had in stock. He wondered what she thought of it– sure, she might not have been ready for his regular repertoire, but that didn’t mean “never”.  But what he wanted to know the most, which felt like the biggest surprise, was what did she think of him? For the first time since he started this gig, he wondered what she thought of his appearance. Did she like his tattoos? Was his hair too long, maybe? Were his clothes too shabby? Perhaps it was because she had not actually picked him. She had chosen Steve.

Oh, Stevie. They couldn’t be more different. 

‘Are you sure you’re ok with me… being here?’

♤

‘I am.’ You didn’t know what else to reply to that question. Of course, the night was not going anything like you had expected. Until two hours ago, you were planning to have some alright sex with, what you could describe as a “regular hot guy”. Instead, you were on the bed, fully clothed, drinking a coke next to a Metallica reject. Was it too late to still do any of the things you had initially paid for, or was the mood entirely ruined? Did people recover from going into highly personal and dramatic tangents in front of the escort they had hired? 

‘Ok, cool. Just… making sure. Fair warning, I might do that a few more times through the night.’ The idea of still having an entire night to spend with Eddie made you really happy. Even if you didn’t know what to do with him in this small room. With a large king-sized bed in the middle, and not much else but the essential hotel decor, the room was perfect for exactly the reason you had booked it and not much else.

Just as you thought it was getting a bit too quiet between the two of you and had wanted to speak up with a question, Eddie opened his mouth to say something as well. So you also simultaneously apologised and let the other person say their piece. 

‘No, go ahead,’ you nudged him. Whatever he had to say would probably lead the conversation better.

‘I was just wondering, when you said “help be good with sex”, which aspect are we talking about here? Just regular? Oral? Foreplay? Like, what are we talking about here?’

‘Uhm, pretty much everything.’ You winced at yourself. So far, all your attempts at intercourse had been not great. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable. The guys would get what they were there for and didn’t feel the need to wait around for more. And if it kept on happening, then the math was simple, wasn’t it? Just look at what the overlapping factor was in all the situations. It was eventually your friends one night, after a few bottles of wine, who suggested the idea of just hiring a guy to teach you what to do. It would be so much easier. No feelings, and they know what they are doing. Foolproof plan. 

And somehow, you still managed to make things complicated and weird. 

♤

‘Now see, I don’t believe that,’ Eddie smiled. There was no way she didn’t know how to do anything. Especially since most of it was just pure instinct. There is a reason why people call it “messing around”, and it’s not because of any guide or formula that one should be working off of to get it right. 

‘Well, then you should ask the other guys.’ Again with that little smile, trying to undermine her own feelings. 

‘No, fuck them. I bet they didn’t even make you cum.’ He accused. Her lack of response was enough of an answer. Eddie could bet his entire wage that she thought it was her fault they didn’t get her to climax and that… that actually pissed him off. How often had he had his clients tell him how their husbands, the men supposed to take care of them, never bothered to fulfil their one simple and honestly fucking delicious duty? A thought sparked in his mind, and he couldn’t keep back the grin that sprouted up with it. 

‘What?’ she asked at the sight of his smile. 

‘Have you ever?’

‘Ever what?’

‘Had a climax?’ 

‘Oh,’ the way she got shy talking about it, to Eddie’s embarrassment, turned him on. The best thing was they didn’t even have to play pretend. ‘I mean, I think?’

‘You think?’ He raised an eyebrow. 

‘Yeah, sorry,’ she cleared her throat, ‘Uhm… I’ll just be right back.’ And having said that, she ran to the bathroom. 

As she closed the door, Eddie pondered on the idea of undressing. It would speed things up, possibly breaking the icy wall that closed her off. With one naked person in the room, it was hard to think about much else, which meant less to worry about. But he didn’t think she would actually appreciate it. No, she needed to take it slow. And he would happily guide her through it all. 

♤

You splashed some cold water in your face. There had been no reason for you to run out of the room like that except for being a total chicken. The way Eddie was so open and comfortable, talking about all of that… brought out a new fear in you. One you didn’t know you had. One you couldn’t even identify. You just knew you had to get out from under his gaze. Those big brown honey-glazed eyes. 

Why the hell did you leave the room? He was sitting so close to you. Your legs were nearly touching. He still sat with his legs spread, basically inviting you to get between them. And what do you do? Run away. 

You splashed some more water onto your face. 

There wasn’t much makeup on your face to begin the night, and whatever you had left of your mascara and blush was wiped off with the towel you grabbed. One more look in the mirror to ensure no grey ink streaks down your cheeks, and you were ready to get out again. 

Just one big breath in. and out. 

The bathroom door handle moved silently, and you pulled the door open to be met with Eddie’s chest. He was standing right in front of you. 

‘Oh, hi.’ 

‘Hey, just wanted to make sure you were ok in there.’ He knocked on the door frame in a delayed manner for extra effect. Knock knock. You noticed he had taken off his vest and jacket. Just in his t-shirt now. The sleeves ended right at his biceps, revealing the sleeves of tattoos he hid underneath all those removed layers. 

‘So are you alright?’ he asked when you didn’t respond to what he had said earlier. The question pulled your thoughts out of the clouds and your head up to look him in the eye. 

‘Yeah, yeah, just…’ your mouth was extremely dry. One more second and no words would be leaving it ever again. It was just gonna have to come out now. Then, with a quick exhale,  you admitted. ‘I’ve never had an orgasm.’ From Eddie’s reaction, it didn’t seem to have been any news to him. Like it was the most normal conversation, which, given his job, it probably was. You tried to ignore the thought of him and the many women he must have helped. 

‘Well, I would be more than honoured to change that for you.’ He took a step forward, and the proximity forced you to look up at him to see his eyes. 

‘Is that a rehearsed line?’ Apparently, your one outburst of truth led to the pandora’s box in your brain, and now you couldn’t shut up, saying the first thing that came to your mind. And unfortunately, it was still filled with the images of him with other people; him making all of them feel ecstatic. 

Luckily, Eddie laughed at your presumption. His head tilted back, and when it came back down, and his eyes were once again locked in with yours, his lips pulled up into a smirk. One of his hands found its way up to your cheek before he leaned in. you were ready for him to kiss you, but instead, his breath lingered over your skin. So close that you should have been able to touch him, and maybe you did. Because there was something that made your mind a thick haze, impossible to navigate through. Everything spun around you except for Eddie.

‘So what if I did rehearse it?’ his words hit your jaw as he hovered over you, then whispering directly into your, he asked: ‘What if I’ve already planned 10 different ways in which I want to make you writhe underneath me? Would you mind that?’ Would you mind? 

Whatever for? 

In a shaky breath, you spoke the only thing you could think of at the moment. 

‘Kiss me.’ 

♤

Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. 

He must have been grinning like an idiot, and he could only hope it didn’t put her off as he brought their lips together and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately. 

The hair around her face was slightly wet, as was her jaw, telling him she had just spent the last minute splashing water in her face. She tasted sweet, like the coke she had been drinking earlier. 

Her hand crept up to his collar, shyly grabbing at it and pulling it down, revealing the slightest inch of the tattoo on his clavicle. Not that she would see it, having closed her eyes the second their lips connected. 

Eddie let one of his hands find its way back to her waist. Holding on to each other, they stumbled back onto the bed. She let out a whimper as Eddie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell backwards, taking her right down with him. 

It was a slow tear-away, leaving both in a haze. Eddie watched her sit up straight, straddling him and keeping him locked. If she moved, she would feel how hard he was getting. 

‘I assume kissing was not on the agenda of the lesson?’ He brushed some of his hair out of his face. 

‘Well, if you have any tips–’ she tugged at the bottom of her shirt. A nervous habit, probably, but all Eddie could think about was how he wanted that material as far away from her as possible. 

‘You’re joking, right?’ She must have been. The kiss, though brief, had been… he felt alive after it. His chest was tight as he caught his breath. ‘Fuck, c’mere.’ He pulled her right back. It might have only been one kiss, but it had been more than enough for him. He was already hooked. 

♤

His lips were slightly chapped, but not in any way to make you feel uncomfortable. Nothing that some chapstick before going out into the cold couldn’t solve. You could smell the bitter beer he had just drank, and despite the drink having been cooled, it brought a warmth out in you. This heat swam over your cheeks and the parts of you that he held close. His hands were now back to playing with your shirt. The material was creeping up over your stomach, up up up…

♤

‘Can you take your shirt off first, please?’ she asked nervously once the second kiss parted. Her small voice sent sparks flying down Eddie’s body, directly to his dick.

‘Yeah, ‘course.’ All he could do was smile. She shuffled down his legs to give him space and remove the shirt. There was no way she didn’t feel how tight he was getting in his trousers, but she didn’t show any reaction to it, eyes focused on his chest. Eddie looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten about those. 

‘You have piercings?’ 

He kept on forgetting to update his pictures on the website. It was such a hassle. Taking the time to plan it all in, preferably with someone else, so he could have some action shots. There was the editing, and then he would have to send them into the office so someone could actually upload them… he just couldn’t be bothered. As much as he was meant to keep his clients aware of what they were paying for, it was selfish of him to love their surprised reactions. Just now, the way her eyes immediately locked in on them in surprise. How her hand lightly fought against reaching for him. 

‘You can touch them. It doesn’t hurt.’ He took her hand and placed it right over his chest. She immediately regained control over her body, and her finger lightly traced over the silver bar. Eddie’s body tightened for a second in bliss. ‘See? It feels fucking good, actually.’ He hadn’t meant to whisper the words out or for them to be so shaky. It was supposed to be a light joke to keep the tension away, yet it pulled the atmosphere down to something intense and sultry. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare her away.

But she smiled and leaned in again for a featherlight kiss. Fuck, she could kiss. It was like a gift from the gods themselves. A little piece of heaven. If this was how she kissed every guy, Eddie couldn’t comprehend how they didn’t line up for more. And then her hand kept moving, slowly tracing the ink on his body. Her fingernails grazed over the drawings. Perhaps it was a placebo, but he had always considered the tattoos to be more sensitive than the rest of him. The soft touches made him shake in need of her. 

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, nearly out of breath, mind spiralling with everything he wanted to do to her. He couldn’t keep it in a straight line anymore. Meanwhile, he was supposed to be the professional here. Meanwhile, she expected him to teach her… he was absolutely fucked. 

And then her following words only made his situation worse. 

‘Just tell me what to do, Eddie.’ Somehow, he missed the exact moment when her lips travelled down to his jaw. It must have been some kind of joke– there was no way this incredible woman did not know what she was doing. 

‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned. He actually groaned. Eddie never did that during his sessions. It just wasn’t something he thought he could do with his clients. It turns out he had never been this turned on by any of them.

It made sense. How often did he think up hour scenarios before meeting the ladies? How often did he imagine he was with someone else? He had thought that maybe, because of the rules of his job and the frequency of his sessions, that maybe sex just wasn’t really anything for him. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job or regretted ever going into the business… money was good, and he was good at what he did. Yet, it was still a job. And jobs could often tire a person out. Maybe he had become desensitised to it all. 

But this proved all of his theories wrong. He was entirely in the moment. Aware of everything that was happening between him and her. Nothing between them was new, or necessarily exciting, and yet it felt like nothing he had felt before. Nothing but kissing sent him down a road he could never return from. 

And now she wanted him to tell her what to do. Yes, in the teaching context, he understood. But was she even aware that this would not be that far from the ordinary things he did in his sessions if they had just removed that context? Just add in some leather and handcuffs. 

‘Take your clothes off, baby.’ He spoke softly, not wanting to roll back into his regular role. This wasn’t that, he reminded himself. He didn’t want it to be that. 

When she started to pull her shirt up, he quickly took over. ‘No, wait, go slower. Take your time.’ Fuck, please take your time, he internally cried out. He didn’t want this night to end. It all felt like a dream, and he didn’t want to get dressed and wake up. He didn’t want to leave because once he did, coming back was not an option for him. 

♤

You followed his instruction, slowly pulling your shirt over your head. Focusing on him. Looking at him prevented you from getting too much into your head. After all, it was hard to think or worry about anything with someone like him, half-naked, under you. You traced his tattoos. They were all black and white, the ink scratchy and uneven on most as if done at home.

Not precisely stick and poke, but not from a studio either. A pull at your heartstrings made you think of how much money you had paid. How much he needed that money… See, hard to think of your own insecurities when looking at him.

Eddie moved up to lean on his elbow. You were sitting still for too long; he must have sensed something was off. With a gentle touch, he stroke your bare skin. You were both shirtless, though you still had your bra on; his hand was sneakily moving up to the strap over your back, ready to unclasp it.

‘What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart.’ It must be some kind of trick he was pulling, something he learned over his experience on the job because of the way your whole body fluttered at the sound of the little nickname… it must be a trick. But there was nothing you could complain about either. 

Once again, your mouth worked faster than your brain, and before you could tell yourself to shut up, you answered with the first question that came to your mind. ‘Do you do anything else… besides this?’ a second later, before he even had the time to react, you butted in with your own response. ‘That is probably way out of bounds. Sorry–’ 

‘Only a little bit,’ he was taking it lightly with a chuckle. Clearly, with no intention of stopping what the two of you had been doing, he littered your jaw and neck with kisses between his answer. ‘I’m in a band. But garage gigs don’t exactly pay the bills.’ You felt him tremble with a laugh against your neck. Eddie had by then sat up and kept you in place on his lap with a tight hold. As he kept kissing you, you let your body speak for itself, closing your eyes and trusting your instincts. Somehow you knew what felt right and what didn’t. Your hips moved of their own accord, grinding against Eddie. You tried not to think about what you were doing, knowing you would just start to freak out and freeze. Instead, you thought of Eddie on stage with his band, imagining him in all the different positions, trying to figure out which instrument fit him best. 

As if he could read your mind, he said, ‘I play guitar.’ His hand had now officially made its mark on your bra, grabbing the backstrap, and wringing it until it unclasped.

‘That’s hot.’

‘Yeah?’ The bra snapped open. Eddie took it upon himself to slide the straps off your arms. You threw the item off to the side of the room, and Eddie didn’t waste a second to bring his attention to your breast.

♤

Had no one ever touched her properly?

All that Eddie did was kiss her tits, and she was almost coming undone. He felt a pang of terrible guilt on behalf of his entire sex. How the fuck did no one make her feel good… not only that. How did men make her feel as if she was the problem? That she had to step her game up and learn. If he ever got his hands on one of those assholes– woah. Calm down. 

♤

‘Yeah,’ you gasped out the small word. ‘So- so hot.’ It was hard to keep a sentence straight when he had his full attention on your nipples.

One preoccupying his lips, while the other was cupped by his large hand. He was rough in his touches, pulling and squeezing, but not in any way that felt too much. On the contrary, you needed more. More of him. 

He switched from one breast to the other in his movements. Then when he pulled away, he kissed you again. Then, he looked you in the eyes, a false seriousness covering his features. 

‘So, let that be lesson one: foreplay. Extremely important before any kind of sex.’ 

‘But… I didn’t do anything?’ You blinked. It was true, wasn’t it? He had been doing most of the work; meanwhile, you hadn’t done anything for him. But Eddie frowned.

‘Oh, baby, you did plenty.’ His hand reached down to his own trousers. ‘You feel this?’ When you hesitated, he took your hand to guide it over his crotch, where you could clearly feel the outline of his dick. ‘Yeah, that’s all you, sweetheart.’ He was so cocky, so confident. 

He kept on talking. ‘And let me ask you one more question.’ For this, he leaned in to almost whisper the words against your hot skin. ‘Are you wet?’ 

‘I don’t know.’ 

Eddie clicked his tongue in disapproval. ‘I think you do know, but let me check then, hmm?’ You weren’t sure how he did it, but he brought you underneath his body in one fell swing. You were now lying on the bed, and he slid down to sit on his knees at the end of the bed. ‘Professional opinion and all, right?’ 

‘Right.’ You hid your face in your hands to laugh. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

Eddie reached for your hands, making you look down at him. 

‘I wanna see your pretty face.’ But, God, speaking of pretty faces, his smile might have been one of the most beautiful sights in the world. He could have been a model, probably… and yet… 

You didn’t want to look at him, however, when he started unzipping your trousers. The button opened up, and you heard the zipper move down, releasing the tension of the material around your waist. Eddie tapped your hip, telling you to move them up. Once you did so, with one big tug, he pulled the pants down to the middle of your thighs with one big tug. It took him three more to get them off entirely. The next second, the trousers were in the corner of the room, along with your shirts. 

‘Oh, baby,’ his syllables were long, dramatic, playful. ‘You are fucking soaking through these.’ You felt your back stiffen at the feeling of his fingers on you. Two, his pointer and middle fingers, slowly tracing down over the thin cotton. Then he’d roll them back up, letting his knuckles press the slit.

‘Fuck, can’t wait to taste you– can I taste you, baby?’ He asked, eyes pleading you for it. 

‘You don’t have to,’ you responded. The air in the room seemed to be turning colder and sent shivers over your arms. 

‘I know I don’t have to.’ Eddie scoffed, teasing. ‘Let that be lesson two then: if a guy doesn’t want his mouth near your pussy, then you shouldn’t come anywhere near his dick.’ He growled out the last words, and his hand had such a tight grip on your panties, that, with one quick move, he tore the material in two. 

♤

‘Eddie!’ she shouted. 

‘Shit, sorry.’ He got too carried away in everything. ‘I’ll pay you back.’ That’s when he glanced down; it was like his memory was instantly wiped. ‘Oh, fuck yes. Fuck you got the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.’ He left a kiss a few inches above it and slowly made his way down. His fingers returned to the slow up-and-down motion he had done before, and each time, he let himself go deeper. Her body tensed up, and breathing hitched in her throat until it came out in a soft moan. 

‘That’s right,’ Eddie said before one last kiss on the most crucial spot. And this kiss lasted. After a few seconds, he practically made out with her clit, as his fingers entered her.

That is when her hand reached for his hair. The touch was enough to make him moan against her. 

‘Oh fuck,’ she moaned loud, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. Keeping his fingers deep within her, Eddie mused:

‘That’s right, baby. Does it feel good?’

‘So good.’ She dug her nails through his hair, nudging him on to continue whatever he was doing. 

♤

Even though you had not meant to pull at his hair, it was all much more of an impulsive action, Eddie groaned out against. He pulled you in closer, sending the vibrations from his body right through yours. 

You had expected, thinking up this plan of hiring someone to teach you sex, that it would be much more formal. That the guy would give you step-by-step instructions on how to do things, tell you everything directly, and you would follow. Maybe that is how it would be with anyone else, but with Eddie, he made you feel it. Without saying a word, you knew how to listen to him. Through his reactions, you knew what to do. His moans encouraged you to pull his hair, to close your thighs around him. Meanwhile, your response spurred him to go, let his fingers move harder, his tongue slick deeper through you. 

‘Fuck, Eddie, fuck.’ You felt that feeling inside you, the build-up. It wasn’t familiar, for you had only experienced it very few times, mostly on your own. This tension deep within you. It grew, quickly reaching its tipping point. 

Eddie’s free hand fastened itself onto your leg; he seemed to have lost himself in you. Then his eyes moved up, locking right with yourself. A part of you wanted to take a picture of what you saw in front of you and cherish the memory forever. His honey-brown eyes glazed in need of you. This spark of all-knowing deviltry. 

Your whole body tightened as you felt it coming, tighter and tighter, like a rubber band ready to snap.

But instead, Eddie let go of the band as he pulled away from you to accompany your last moan of his name.

A whimper left your mouth, and pleads were ready to follow it, begging him to not stop. Not now. Just a few more seconds. 

‘Lesson number three,’ he wiped his mouth– which was glistening in the room's warm light– with his thumb but never wiping the smug smile off his face. ‘Tease, tease and tease. The longer you keep them waiting, the sweeter their reward will be.’ 

At this point, you could not imagine it being so sweet, as all you felt was a horribly empty feeling, deflating your insides by the second. 

‘Everyone likes that?’ You asked.

‘Hmm, good question.’ Eddie got up to remove his belt. He made a spectacle out of it, sliding the whole strap from between the loops, then throwing it down to the ground. ‘It does probably depend on a person, what their limits are. How much they can last and take.’ Like a showman, he made you watch. Made you wait. ‘I’m sure some people would rather just get on to the final act.’ 

‘Not me?’ you asked as he pulled his jeans down along with his boxers.

Just like the picture. 

‘Hmm,’ with a pondering expression, he fell down onto the mattress beside you. ‘Not you.’ 

‘What makes you say that?’ It took all your willpower to keep looking into his eyes. He, however, wasn’t as courteous. His eyes roamed over your naked body as his hand found its way back between your legs. A quick snap. He slapped your clit lightly, but it was enough to immediately sent a spark through you, nearly bringing you back to the spot of tension. 

‘Just a hunch.’ He slapped you again. 

♤

She was so fucking sensitive. Like a little porcelain doll.

For good measure, and the fact he couldn’t get enough of how her body moved when encountering intense pleasure, he gave that pussy a third and final snap. Maybe he would have kept going, he certainly had not felt like stopping any time soon, but it was when her hand reached for his. Fingers around his wrist. Her eyes closed lightly, mouth parted just a tiny bit, enough for her to whisper his name. 

‘Eddie.’

‘What’s up, sweetheart,’ he leaned in his lips almost on her cheek again. She didn’t respond. ‘Lesson four: always use words. I don’t know what you really want unless you tell me.’ He left sloppy kisses over her face as he dictated. ‘So? What. Do. You. Want?’ He punctuated each word with a touch

‘Fuck me.’ 

‘Of course.’ He had expected her to play around with the words, make him pull it out of him, but no. So, he got up and reached for the wallet in his jeans. He should have checked sooner. This had been too much of a risk, but luckily, the silver foil stuck out immediately. 

She had sat up again to watch him rip the packaging open. 

‘You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now,’ he chuckled to himself whilst pulling the condom out. ‘I have a whole box in my bag with the rest of my stuff.’ He had planned to get it out of his car after meeting her at the bar, but then everything had gone a bit to shit, hadn’t it? 

‘I have a box… in my bag,’ she said, for some reason almost embarrassed. 

‘Someone’s eager, huh?’ Perhaps he didn’t help, but really, he was talking about himself. Eddie could immediately imagine himself being with her for the rest of the night, the entire fucking week if he could, but something told him that after this— that would most likely be it. It was better not to stretch a good thing out. She paid for him to teach her the basics, not exhaust her to her limits, perhaps scare her off of sex forever.

‘No, I just–’ did she notice he was joking? Either way, she hid her face in her hands, laughing at herself. Eddie took the moment that she wasn’t eating him alive with her eyes to get a few pumps in. it wasn’t even needed; he was rock hard; it was just a routine at this point. He let his head roll back a little back as his hand moved up and down, then got on with putting the condom on. 

♤

‘How should we uhm— how do you want—’ you looked for a good way to phrase it as Eddie got back into bed. 

‘Anything particular in mind you wanted to get a hang of?’ he asked. You shook your head no. Stupid. You should have done your research. Come more prepared. 

But could anything prepare you for Eddie? It didn’t seem likely. You could have come in with a four-volume guide, and he would have probably thrown it out the window and shown you a whole new world. 

‘Then we’ll just see where the night takes us, why don’t we?’ He positioned himself on top of you. Arms on each side of your shoulders, stomach hovering over yours. As you both breathed in, you could feel his muscles. He put his weight on one of his forearms as the other hand reached back down between you, moving his fingers in a circular, steady motion. 

Too occupied with how good his touch on you felt, there was no real thought going through your mind when you pulled his face closer to you, kissing him deeply. Your noses pushed against one another. Your fingers rooted down between his hair.  

Eddie spread your legs wider apart, creating the perfect position for himself. 

‘You ok?’ he asked, lips practically still on yours. 

‘Mhm.’ You hummed, but Eddie clicked his tongue, pulling away a few inches to look at you a bit more focused. 

‘Mm, remember rule four?’ 

You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think. All you wanted, needed, was him inside you. But you answered: ‘use your words? Let them know what you want.’ 

‘Good girl,’ he kissed you softly. ‘It also goes for consent. Probably should have made that the first lesson, but what can you do? Make clear what and when you want something. If the guy doesn’t listen– I don’t know, kick him in the nuts.’ 

‘Got it.’ You nodded. 

‘So, let’s try it out.’ He didn’t move, just waited for you to speak. 

You took a deep breath. ‘I want you to fuck me, Eddie.’ 

‘There we go. Feels good, doesn’t it?’ His hand returned to rubbing your clit as he moved around above you, getting in the proper position. ‘Quick lesson five: it’s fucking hot when girls say shit like that. So don’t be afraid to get dirty.’ Slowly and carefully, he let himself sink into you. His length filled you up, spread your walls. It was a perfectly tight fit, making it impossible to hold anything in. 

‘Dirty and loud.’ Eddie stayed still, letting you get used to the feeling of him. ‘Don’t hold it in, baby, ok?’ 

‘O-ok.’ Your breath was shaky. Once used to him, you placed your hand on his chest. His hot breath burned your skin.

Eddie kept a slow pace, letting both of you ease into the rhythm of being together, but eventually, you felt your body loosen up. Finally, it wasn’t enough anymore. Was he holding himself in? Could he tell you needed more but was waiting for you to tell him? Teach you your lesson. 

‘More,’ the word was nearly just an exhale, but it was enough for Eddie. He kissed you passionately with a smile, and he plunged deeper inside you. From then on, his thrusts were harder, faster. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over himself. The new change brought in a whole new angle, letting you feel him through your entire body. 

The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. Your mind was scattered, so you didn’t even feel your teeth graze over your lips, locking in your voice. But Eddie noticed. 

♤

The second he caught it, something in Eddie’s mind switched on. As much as he tried to contain that part of himself, keep it away from her, he couldn’t. It was fucking primal. 

He thrust harder than he did before. His hand found its way to her cheek, squeezing it– not too tight, he pulled himself back quickly, but strong enough to show her he meant it– and his words came out in a growl. 

‘What did I tell you, baby? Don’t hold it in.’ A few more deep thrusts left both their bodies shaking with each move. ‘I want to hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.’ His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, and, without another word exchanged, she parted those beautiful lips and granted him access. 

She fucking moaned around it and sucked her own juices off it. Could she taste the sweetness? He hoped she could. He was jealous of every person that ever got to taste it, but he quickly let that thought sink away as he had more pressing questions. 

‘Now, where did you learn that?’ He smiled when he pulled his thumb away, his hips only slightly rearranging the pace as he spoke calmly. 

‘Sorry, was that wrong?’ She blinked. Genuine fucking naivete. Eddie could barely hold it in anymore. 

‘Only in the sense that it got me this close to blowing my load before you got even close.’ He quickly regained his speed.

From that point on, she didn’t hold back. Her moans were beautiful. The sound of his name comes directly from the centre of her pleasure was like hitting the jackpot. If only he could live off those cute noises, he’d be the wealthiest man on earth. The luckiest. The happiest. 

What the fuck was wrong with him? 

But shit were her tits a sight for sore eyes. Looking at them, he couldn’t go a second without touching them. For a moment, he got scared he was too rough, but then the claws came out– almost literally. Her nails dug into his back. It would leave marks, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see them when he looked in the mirror the following day. 

‘Eddieee,’ it came out so shaky, so desperate. He could tell she was getting close. It took much less than expected. He had a thousand things in his head that he still wanted to do with her, show her, but even he realised then it was wishful thinking. His own words from minutes ago reverberated in his mind. 

You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now.

He was ready to burst, and it only took a few minutes in missionary. Usually, he could go for ages.

Then again, he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time. 

‘You close, baby?’ He asked and almost hoped to hear yes; Eddie didn’t know how much longer he could last, and if he came before her– he could never live that down. 

But she was lost in him, too far down to appropriately respond. That wasn’t good. Eddie slowed down a bit. ‘Hey, hey, you alright?’ 

♤

‘Yes,’ you took a deep breath, ‘please don’t stop. Not now.’ He was making you feel incredible. In a matter of a few minutes, you felt like you had reached the seventh heaven. Absolute bliss. 

But perhaps you didn’t feel how much you actually felt. As good as it was, this overwhelming sensation pulled you away from everything around you. When Eddie brought you back, with the softness of his voice and the touch of his hands, only then you realised how far down you had been.

‘Are you sure? We can take a break.’ Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any signs of trouble, but before he could spiral, you halted him. A few deep breaths were all it took for you to be present. 

‘I’m ok. Thank you.’ You kissed him. Whatever anyone would say if they heard about your plan, this was how you knew you had made the right choice. Or perhaps how you knew that the universe wasn’t always against you. Tonight, it brought you Eddie. Whether it was a freak accident or not, you would never regret the choices that led to it. 

Eddie continued what he was doing, giving you all his attention. To all of you. You didn’t feel like an inch of your body went down forgotten. Meanwhile, he was all you could think about. It was like the world around you dissolved. A fire could have burned down the entire room, and you don’t think you would have even noticed. Not with Eddie’s cock deep inside you. He didn’t falter. Each thrust was full of him, hitting the perfect spot. Mind-numbing, toe-curling and… 

Soon, you felt that feeling again. That tightness inside you. This time even tighter than previously. It was to be expected that Eddie knew what he was talking about. The longer the wait, the better the reward. And to think only a little time had passed since the two of you entered the hotel room. Not much time at all compared to how much you wished you could be with him. Was it insane? Probably, but you didn’t care.

You just wanted him, and you would take as much as he could give you. 

♤

Eddie could feel how close she was. 

It had definitely scared him when he saw how far down she had been, already blaming himself for taking it too far. He had been ready to pull the plug and return her all the money. It didn’t matter if her payment had actually gone to his account; he would make sure that his fuck ups were compensated. 

But she was fine. Like a little firecracker that she was, she kissed him, wiping his whole mind clear of anything but her. Her and that sweet, sweet taste. 

It didn’t take much longer for breathing to break up in quick succession. Moans got louder, likely uncontrolled, and her grip on his tighter. Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he loved it. 

‘C’mon baby, come on.’ He encouraged her to lose all of her control. Lose herself to the pleasure. She needed to know how it was to be treated right. He needed her to know. And he didn’t know how much more he could keep it going. His last few thrusts still reached the deepest parts of her, and got everything out of her he wanted, but he felt himself lose his momentum. With each second, it was getting harder to concentrate. 

‘Oh my god-’ she whimpered as she released underneath him with a high-pitched scream at that. As much as he wanted to hear all of it, he kissed her to mute it. There was no need for the neighbours to get concerned. 

Though from all the other noises they made, from how the bed shook and banged against the wall, they would make the correct assumption. 

Not much later, as she was still coming undone, Eddie let himself reel in the pleasure. Then, stilled within her, his lips on her neck now, he came. When he pulled away, he wished he could have left a mark on her, but he knew that would be a step too far. 

‘Thank you’ were the first words to come out of her mouth when he discarded the full condom in the trash. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t like feeling naked post-sex, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe she expected more. If so, he could give it to her, but he just wasn’t sure– 

‘It’s my pleasure,’ he sat on the edge of the bed, just in reach to place his hand on her leg. They were both covered in sweat, naturally, but the cold was taking over. ‘You should get under the covers.’ The last thing he wanted was for her to get sick.

‘Right.’ She pulled at the corner of the blanket– always a much more arduous task than necessary in hotel rooms when they’re tucked in deeper than the pits of hell. As soon as she pulled the white sheet over her body, Eddie regretted his choice of words. It was probably the last time he would have seen her naked, and he didn’t even take a moment to appreciate what he had in front of him. 

He found his underwear, which was almost kicked under the bed. When he resurfaced, her face was full of worry. The furrow of her brows was enough to tell him that. 

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he covered himself up. 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘I don’t understand.’ 

‘I didn’t do anything. I asked you to help me figure this out, and we just–’ 

‘No, hey, hey.’ Eddie practically jumped into bed next to her. Cupped her face in his hands and made sure she looked at him as he spoke. ‘First of all, if this is how you feel, I should be the one to be sorry since I clearly didn’t do my job. So I’m sorry. But you have no reason to think you didn’t do well. This was amazing.’ He could only hope she knew just how much he meant his words. That she could trust a complete stranger with words as much as she did with their bodies. 

‘No, Eddie, it’s not that you didn’t teach me anything, but I– there’s still so much I don’t know. Fuck, I still have no idea how to suck a guy off.’ 

Eddie cursed under his breath. Just from those words, he could feel himself twitching against his boxers. This girl was going to be the death of me. She kept on talking. 

‘Would it be ok if we do this again? Not as an accident this time, I will book you.’ 

He wanted to say yes so badly. But he had to keep his mind clear as he answered. ‘I don’t think that will be a good idea.’ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted to punch himself in the gut. 

♤

‘I try to keep a strict one-time, no repeating clients policy. It makes the job much easier,’ Eddie explained. 

‘No, I understand.’ Having to do this with the number of people he does… you couldn’t imagine how that was. How other people would be with him, and what could have happened for him to make such a rule in the first place. 

‘I would say you should try Steve for real, but I don’t believe you need any “sex lessons”. 

‘Right,’ you scoffed away the comment, but Eddie was persistent. 

‘I mean it. I can tell that you have a whole talent in there for this shit. You just need to find the right guy to bring it out in you because whoever you’ve been in the past, clearly, they weren’t doing it right. Then you will learn everything else you want to learn by yourself. Basically like you did now.’ He gave you a kind smile, and you tried to replicate it. 

‘I did need you.’ You couldn’t look at him as you said it.

‘Ehhh– not so sure about that. For a while, I thought you just wanted me for my body.’ He fell over to his back, hand on his chest as if he had just been shot. ‘That shit can hurt, you know.’ He was so dramatic and made you laugh so easily. You had never expected anything like that to happen that night. 

♤

A body to adore was one thing, but he might miss her smile even more. 

‘Are you feeling alright?’

‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ She blinked. Eddie pushed down the anger he felt at all those morons that had not treated her right before.

‘Let that be your final lesson then,’ he pushed down another instinct, this time to make a cheesy reference that she might not get. There was no need to make the mood weird or awkward now. Eddie cleared his throat. ‘Lesson… what number are we on, six?– Lesson six: aftercare. Just check up on yourself to see if you’re able to carry on afterwards. While always quite vital, the more intense the session, the more important the aftercare. It keeps you stable.’ 

She nodded in understanding. ‘So, how would that look?’

‘Well, let’s see…. Are you sore? Do you need anything?’ Once again, he was mad at himself for going into this without his usual stuff. While his bag was mostly filled with toys that might be a bit too much for her, he also had plenty of shit to make her feel better if needed. 

‘No, I don’t think so.’ 

‘Ok, do you need something to drink? Eat?’ Before she even replied, Eddie lunged for the can of soda she had discarded on the desk opposite the bed. The bubbles would have mostly flattened by now, but it was still a liquid to drink. 

‘Not really,’ she said as he handed her the can and took a small sip. ‘Ok, maybe a little bit.’ They both smiled as she emptied the can of its last chug. 

‘More?’ Eddie asked as he tried to read it off of her. 

‘No, I’m good.’ Just like before, she started tapping on the can. Now empty, it sounded even more hollow. 

‘And was everything alright? I was scared I might have gone too far at one point.’ 

♤

The way you could see the genuine concern and worry in Eddie’s eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and never let him go. To think that a few hours ago, neither of you was even aware of the other’s existence. That you weren’t supposed to be aware, that it was all a giant coincidence. And that after tonight… that would be all that it ever was. 

Here was this fantastic man taking care of you better than any other guy had. 

Sure, you paid him to do it, but something in you, call it a freaky instinct, told you that that was just who Eddie was. He wanted to take care of you. 

Maybe that’s why he went into the business. Who could really tell?

‘It was perfect,’ you told him because it was. 

‘Ok, good.’ He nodded, smiling shyly. It was the first time that night that you saw a crack in the confident front of the guy. 

‘Really, thank you.’ You reached for his hand, and his eyes followed it. He looked as your fingers lazily intertwined while you watched him.

‘You, uhm, you should probably go to the bathroom. Make sure you wash all of me out. Make it a standard practice, really.’

‘Will do,’ your voice wasn’t hoarse, yet you whispered. It suddenly became hushed in the room. It could have been quiet all this time, but it was then that you grew aware of it. 

You didn’t want to leave the bed, or Eddie, just yet, but you knew you should listen to his professional advice. Everything he had told you so far felt like the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe you also knew of them already, maybe did it too, but it only made sense when it came from Eddie.  ‘Don’t leave yet, ok? I want to say goodbye.’ The idea of him being gone when you came back felt gut-wrenching for many reasons, but all unknown. 

All Eddie did was nod. 

When you returned, he had just put his shirt back on. His belt was in his jeans loops but not yet fastened. Was it weird to watch him get dressed? It felt more like a thing real couples did, which you were far from. It felt stranger doing so whilst you were still completely naked, so you grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe on the bathroom shelf and pulled it on, tying it tightly around your waist. 

‘That’s me then.’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking around, most likely checking if he didn’t forget something. A part of you hoped he did. He would realise it only hours later and rush back to find it. That this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet. 

A girl could wish. 

‘Right.’ You put on a brave face as you made your way to the door. ‘Thank you again. For everything.’

All Eddie did in response was nod with a tight-lipped smile. 

The door was open now. He was already on the threshold. Compared to the soft glow of your room, the corridor's light felt jarring to your eyes. Just like that, it was over.

You could not believe this was the end. It ended as quickly as it started. A whole whirlwind of… everything, really. 

Before you could stop yourself, one last question burst through your lips. 

‘Is Eddie your real name?’ You immediately regretted your entire life, couldn’t believe you had done that. ‘I’m so sorry, just ignore me. I don’t know why I said that–’

But Eddie beamed. He took your hand in his. ‘As real as anything tonight was.’ and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. He started walking before your wrist even hit your hip. 

You couldn’t watch him walk away, so you closed the door and your eyes before he went too far. A minute later, you cursed to yourself.

The whole aftercare thing- You never got to ask if he was ok.

Fuck.

the end.

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist. - also made a lil playlist based on this fic, told through taylor swift songs

and please support your (not so) local creators by liking AND reblogging.

I would love to know what you thought of the story, so please consider leaving a comment, or maybe an ask or even an anonymous review ;P

you are also more than welcome to join the taglist. right here.

Eddie (smut, 18+) taglist part 1:

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington @billyhargrovesprincess @annikin-im-panicin @kaitieskidmore1 @yesv01 @princess-aries

[guardian5tiger3]

Tarot pick a group ....

Anything that comes up.

1. 2. 3.

One

You guys are what people call lovers of life. A lot of you are really into some form or forms of art. A lot of you are really wise, open minded , really psychedelic type of individuals know it or not. You have a fresh way of looking at things a lot of the time and other people may feel that way about you all. You're definitely something a lot of people and really what the world needs . It's like you would be something missing and things would be incomplete without your uniqueness. :)

Oddly I got something about fried food maybe some of you work in a restaurant but really I'm getting the energy that you should treat yourself like you love yourself and fuel yourself with love when it comes to anything you take in and just generally the energy you put yourself in and feel. I'm picking up a really light nice energy. So I'm getting a quote from Alan Watts . Oddly I can't find the quote I'm thinking of .. but I saw one that said " waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be. "

I seriously can't find the quote some of you should look into Alan Watts and what he talks about. Generally, though, I'm getting you're searching for something maybe consciously or unconsciously and the universe wants to motivate you to continue to do that and I'm feeling a lot of refreshing energy, so if you open yourself up and allow any energy the universe is trying to gift you that. I heard "a peace of mind" and felt in my third eye really calm. And I see a bird with its wings open now. So there's some information or knowledge or wisdom or something and you will find it just stay on the path that you're on and focus on any good vibes around and within you. Spring time also is looking good for you guys a few of you might be moving also seeing about someone adopting a dog if you thought about that this is saying you should or maybe you already know you're gonna idk. For most of you though look forward to spring I see seeds you planted growing metaphorically which is totally with the season, and good surprises and just really good happy fun light energy. Especially!!! If the winter was kind of rough. Even if you just didn't have fun with the weather if you live where it snows. Or any personal struggles with that being a metaphor for that, I saw a heavy snowstorm, so , yeah. :)

Two

I've been getting a lot of weather symbolism so far and I saw like a rain storm for you all. I also got two cards about conflict, in general. So if you can relate to any tense , irritating energy, anything negative going on this is for you . Even just negative vibes especially with other people or for some living situations even for someone something to do with a kid in your life so it really depends and of course is gonna be specific for everyone what it might be. Seems like you've been trying to stay stable and "hold your own" best you can while also trying to go with the flow in terms of regulating your emotions according to the situation at hand. I just got three nines in a row, 999. That can tell you this is all coming to an end around this time or soon ok. Really picking up queen energy too ..? This is kind of strange but I'm picking up on the energy of treasure like you'll have a surprise or gift or something good from the universe like a present cause of this stuff and just y'all being good people thru this stuff and everything as best you can and being very stable for the circumstances or in general, but I initially got it worded and presented like, treasure. Like pirates or something which is funny cuz I just got a pirate sword tattoo haha. I'm also channeling old cartoons for some reason, like Tom and Jerry specifically, the old ones, like when you were a kid chilling Sunday morning watching the cartoons with your bowl of cereal or whatever. That's a vibe a lot of people share having to be able to experience. I rocked with wacky races and Scooby Doo lol. Among others ..Maybe something you're manifesting now goes all the way back to your childhood, somehow that's a hint. I'm also getting candy and heard sweettooth y'all better be careful with all that or find alternatives so to not damage your teeth ok. And if any of you are eating cuz you're bored ok straight up I heavily got play video games lol. I can relate to that. Also going for walks. Some of you need to drink cold water and make sure you're focusing on hygiene in any way. And for anyone feeling like life is bleak or boring or whatever or unexcited I would say stick to a routine and keep yourself busy for now, things always change no matter what that's a rule of life, and something might come to you one day that's a good idea for something to do, a new adventure, hobby, maybe you volunteer somewhere cool or anything really, it seems like you'll just have an idea eventually.

Three

39, 41,14,13 ,15 all might be significant. Maybe something about math and how math works.....? Wtf... Ok....y'all might talk about the matrix or get references to that. Also a lot about nature especially.... During the day. Also about camping. And ....parks? Depends on who you are. Andddd 16. Right I don't know if this all adds up to something or what I've never been super great at math so... Or maybe something is straight up building up to something ...? Lol. Lot of riddle like energy in this. I got humpty Dumpty . Y'all WTF is this . ? This is so specific and doesn't make a lot of sense to me but what I just channeled was like a group of people or at least two chilling like campfire vibes and sharing something to smoke and just hanging out kinda..... Idk if you want a time like that you can manifest it or some of you already have vibed like that idk. Cuz I saw multiple instances around a campfire and not but mainly at night or in the afternoon ,also sitting on steps outside. I guess you guys in your lives right now it's a lot about synchronicities and ... Going with the flow...? I keep picking up on Dora. The explorer. Anyway y'all seem like ok if your lives are all stories at the end of the day and you're in the middle of your journey but it's like a dope journey ,like embrace whatever adventures you're on and all the obstacles you face cause you have a destiny at the end of it. And by end I don't mean the end end I mean once you meet the ending of this your life will go on, after the happy ending (didn't mean to say happy ending but I added happy. :) . ).... Are you guys just confused in life cause I couldn't tell you what any of this means but hey if it resonates than I guess this is your confirmation youre on the right path.

I'm really picking up that the amount of fun you have at this point in your life at any given moment is mostly up to you. I think there's some points in time in the past and future that are destined to be certain vibes. Like looking at the stars or you have a altercation with someone or whatever you know but , I heard "in the meantime" like, for most of the time you can kind of decide to have fun, make things fun, you're free to do whatever you want. Some of you need to hear and absorb that. You are free. So make the most of that. Whatever you feel in any given moment.

Also , in the meantime is a song by spacehog, me being me I'd say listen to the whole album it has a few of my favorite songs on there personally, but yeah that's a great song so I do personally recommend it , too. Also I heard space song, space, traveler. Maybe I'm picking up on song names and don't know. I know space song is obviously a song but idk about traveler or space so idk. If you know a song like with those words it's significant. For some reason I wanna say, have a good day, lol. I hope this makes sense if it was meant for you. :) . Y'all definitely get a happy ending. So worry less and enjoy the moment it couldn't be more clear to me if you resonate with any of this, you definitely get a happy ending and it'll all be more than ok. Just roll with it. ;) 💗

[just-some-random-blogger]

AHHHH

Can I request a Matt smith x reader where in real life theyre married and in the show theyre hot sibling lovers 🥵🥵 anyways 👀 theyre doing a bunch of press junkets, interviews, games, etc. and its sooo fluffy☺️ and domestic☺️ and I just want to envision my life with Matt smith 😭

+ some star points if an interviewer asks about their 😏 scenes and they get really embarrassed but cute 🥰🥰😫😫😫☺️

I Can't Help It

Matt Smith x (ME PLS I WANTHIM) Actress!Reader

Summary: The tumblr girlies were absolutely wrecked when they found out their resident girlboss was dating their superwholock tumblr boy.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Crackfic, i use y/n im sorry im not that strong, head empty only matt, a bunch of made up stuff because plot!, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: NAH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS LIKE I GOTTA ZOOM THROUGH ALL MY REQS FOR THIS IASFHASFAS. i swear my anons and i share the same brain fr we all just want the same loser dont we PLSSSSSS [foams in the mouth] Also, idk if you've ever read any of my chris evans fics, but what you want me to do for matt is what i did for him & IM ABOUT TO HAVE A FIELD DAY IM ON CRACK HELLO ALSO ALSO, i get you probably meant they're targaryen sibling/lovers, cause otherwise ALFHKAFA MISS ME W THAT BS, but i decided on doing something different all together so lolol i hope you like it nonnie <3 idk what you feel about matt smith but im still going to tag you anyway holla Tagging: @pinksirensong what do you feel about matt smith HAHAHAHAAHHA

It all started with this tweet that was prompted during a brief interaction at a movie premiere:

@fannygurl007: yeah but matt smith and y/n interacted for 20 seconds and i want them to get married and have babies [clip attached]

being liked by Matt's mom.

Then all hell broke lose.

And hell hath no mercy.

It lead with intense investigations of:

@ihave100problems retweeted: AWFHASL:FHAH WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY WHISPER TO EACH OTHER?!?!? 👹👹👹 @thedoctorswife retweeted: IN FRONT OF MY SINGLE ASS?? THEY FLIRTED IN FRONT OF *MY* SINGLE ASS??? JAIL @mattsmithbithc retweeted: "Oh, I think you look so pretty ------- yeah, that's great -----" HELP WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY @mattsmithbithc replied: I THINK SHE SAID SMTH ABOUT HIS SUIT BUT IDK WHAT SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP @tennantsmith1 retweeted: you really can't trust men look at the way he's looking at her. i bet it was love at first sight for him. was anything between us even real </3 @mmmyehs retweeted: what's that? my matt smith and y/n cutouts gon sleep outside? I HOPE YOU KEEP EACH OTHER WARM IN HELL @y/nloml666 retweeted: NAH NAH NAH BUT MY BISEXUAL ASS WANTS TO BE IN BETWEEN THAT SANDWHICH @datass00 replied: me watching that vid like [image attached below]

Then these things popped up on youtube:

proof matt smith and y/n have been dating all along 🤡🤡

Clip #1

I stick my hand in a jar and pull out a folded piece of paper. "Who's my celebrity crush," I read out the question, turning back to the camera, "I have long list," I refold the paper as I push it beneath my seat, "and the unfortunate king of that, currently, is Matt Smith."

*cut to a bunch of 🤡🤡🤡 and really loud background music*

One of the staff asks, off camera, "why unfortunate?"

"Well," I chuckle, crossing my arms, "if you know me, then you know when I like something so, so much, I end up hating it." I straighten up, "yeah, Matt Smith may or may not have been subjected to verbal abuse as of late."

I chuckle as I hear a few of the staff wheeze.

I raise a hand and cut through the air, "affectionately, affectionately."

Clip #2

There is an abrupt cut to a sound of a crowd cheering.

Matt leans in, scrunching his face as he brings the mic close to his lips, "sorry, love, what was that?"

*The clip is replayed twice and captioned [IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT WAS JUST SO HOT I HAD TO REPEAT IT]*

The crowd is gracious enough to quiet down, keeping their fangirling internal.

"Is there an actor or actress that you have not yet worked with but always wanted to?" the lucky fan asks her question again.

Matt hums, leaning back on his sofa chair, repeating the words for good measure. He pulls the mic away as he thinks, then brings it back, "you know what, I have been lucky enough to work with some amazing people," he starts, "but-"

The crowd cheers.

Matt smiles and releases a chuckle, waving the mic around, "but," he carefully says, "I have recently watched Vampire in the Locker for the first time."

The crowd cheers again.

"Yeah, and thought y/n was absolutely fabulous in it."

Someone in the crowd says loudly, "same!"

The crowd, along with Matt, laughs. He straightens up and points, "that person gets it!"

But what it really took was this Instagram post to destroy the internet:

@imthebesty/n: ok but you cant get mad a me, i was there during superwholock. at least one of us won!! ps, he's a horrible cook, i promise you don't want him. i took one for the team 😇

That paired with headlines like:

Y/N confirms relationship with Matt Smith on Instagram with hilarious caption

Matt Smith cooks horribly, according to girlfriend, Y/N, who confirmed rumors with Instagram post

"I took one for the team," Y/N says in Instagram post, referring to dating Matt Smith

Tumblr but all stayed sane:

winchester-pie: Are you normal, or are you losing your mind overthinking one of the superwholock girlies is secretly y/n 369,278 notes dont-talk3me: When I gaslight people, it's bad, when y/n gaslights people, it's taking one for the team? 16,586 notes uowbish: I'm gonna say it: I DONT CARE THAT YOU'RE DATING MATT SMITH YOU SHOULD BE DATING ME [image attatched] 99,345 notes sh3l0ck3D: thinking about how y/n once said that she wrote fanfiction that was popular online. i should have known it was superwholock, she unhinged as fuck. 836,084 y/nb00tyluv: OK but i genuinely think y/n and matt smith talked for 5 minutes then decided to date after that 74,670 notes prettyeyebrows: ok but tell me y/n doesn't look like the type to make memes like this [image attached below] 424,245 notes

The cherry on top was when Vogue magazine graced the world with this brilliant interview:

I introduce myself and turn to my side, smiling at the man next to me.

"I'm Matt, and today we-"

"Smith."

Matt turns to me, words going dry.

"You're Matt Smith," I correct, blinking at him.

Matt looks at me for a good moment then raises a hand between our faces, turning back to the camera, "and today, we're going to be-" he cuts himself off with a laugh when he hears me laughing.

He drops his hand and gives me a look before continuing, "we're going to be answering some questions for-"

Matt points to me so that I finish his sentence.

"Vogue magazine!" I say, making the man beside me clap his hands.

The most played part of that interview is this scene:

Matt is reading from a card, "if you could have something of the other's, what would it be?" He chucks the card away, turning to me just as I turn to him.

I mutter under my breath as I think, "something of the other's?"

Matt furrows pouts his lips out in thought.

A beat of silence passes.

We then simultaneously trail off as we both whisper, "like a baby."

I wheeze and lean into Matt, dying of laughter. He snorts and beams like a boy on Christmas, dropping his jaw low.

"No," I warn as I raise a finger through my chuckles, "behave."

Matt throws an arm around me as he lets out more deep laughs.

"The fact we both keep answering the same thing means me hang out too much."

He scoffs. "Clearly not enough though," Matt notes, making me glare at him and shake him off. He withdraws his arm, face still awfully pleased.

I give him a look, "your mother has been ingraining that ideation in your head too religiously."

"I mean," he grabs my hand. He looks at me for 3 whole seconds before sighing and saying, "you would make a great mother."

I purse my lips and sighing as well. I lean into him a bit as I softly admit, "and I think you would make a great father."

For a moment, the two of us look at each other.

I pull my hand away from him, moving to grab another card.

Here are a few of the most liked comments on that video:

Jason Stone: I have absolutely no idea who either of these people are and only watched this video because it autoplayed. Do I want them to get married and have babies though? Yes. Yes I do. 88.9k likes kpopinmybloodstream: matt the entire video:😍🥰😘 y/n the entire video: 😍🥰😘 me the entire video: 😍🥰😘 but single as fock 🤡🤡🤡 103k likes sowrr88: if i cant have what they have, i dont want it 94k likes

[avalikesf19]

A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)

Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx

Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk

Lando x quadrant fem reader

Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..

Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)

Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.

Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.

Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.

Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.

Lando: all good

Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.

That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.

"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.

"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".

Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.

rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".

"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.

"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.

you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.

what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.

"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but while walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.

why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.

You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..

sorry its a short one x

[byhuenii]

⊱☆⊰ COFFEE STAINED SHIRT

prompt— couples truth or drink with bf gojo satoru. (WC: idk) pairing— gojo satoru x fem!reader warnings— MINORS DNI! not proofread, fluff, maybe ooc gojo, typos, suggestive, maybe more im missing. a/n— these videos get me through boring days lol, i love these and yeah MINORS DNI. gojo’s questions are in blue and yours are in purple

“ are we already recording orr… ” satoru’s blue eyes squint at the camera crew who put up their thumbs as a yes now start the video.

YN : “ hi. my name is yn ln! ”

GOJO : “ and im satoru gojo, and this is truth or drink couples edition! ”

“ how long have you two been together and how did you meet up? ”

a sly smirk rolled onto satoru’s lips causing you to groan outloud. “ well if you insist~ she actually spilled coffee on my white shirt that i gifted myself for my own birthday! and 2 1/2 years ”

“ it didnt even look expensive ”, she mumbled under her breath, a few staff giggled

GOJO : “ what? ”

YN : “ nothing anyways.ill go first! ”

a small chuckle escaped her lips, “ oh wow starting off stong. okay what is your favorite part of my body ” her eyes deadpanned to the camera “ i already know what he is gonna say, and its gonna be my ass and boobs .”

GOJO : “ wrong its your heart, i love the way it beats and brings me comfort ”

the silence was evident, gojo tried not to laugh causing little hee hee tee hee slip out. you stared at the camera blank expression.

GOJO : “ it is your boobs and ass though. ” a wide smile plastered on his face

“ have you liked any of my friends? ” satoru happily placed the card down staring beams against you, you hesitated at bit your hand rested against the cup, “ see! she only had eyes on me—“

you took a shot eyes squinting at the bitter and hot aftertaste lingering on your tongue

GOJO : “ WHAT ?? ” “ WHO?? WHAT ??? ”

YN : “ nope i took a shot im not saying shit! ”

GOJO : “ …do any of them know..? ”

YN : “ well i wanna say both of them. ”

GOJO : “ BOTH? AS IN TWO?? ”

you cleared your throat “ anyways, what were your first impressions of me ”

GOJO : “ i thought you were really cute especially when you apologized after spilling the coffee on my shirt.. ”

YN : “ is that it? ” you smiled at how sweet he thought of you

GOJO : “ …and that i wanted to fuc— “

YN : “ OKAY OKAY FUCK. NEVERMIND I ASKED. JUST GO. ” your face turned red flipping off satoru who blew you a kiss

“ what is the one thing you wouldnt change about me? ” satoru rested his head in his hand kicking his feet from under the chair

YN : “ your beautiful big blue eyes. ”

GOJO : “ i was expecting you to say like my big dick or something but awww ”

you kicked his foot under the table “ yeah i guess i love that too. ”

GOJO : “ no no you do love it, you tell me all the time ”

“ okay shut up satoru. how many people did you have sex with while we were talking? ”

GOJO : “ zero, after you spilled that coffee on my shirt i only wanted you. ”

“ whats the meanest thing you said about me to your friends? ” gojo smiled, “ it cant be that bad ”

you sighed taking a shot, debating if you should pour yourself another shot.

GOJO : “ okay im hurt ” he exclaimed dramatically,

YN : “ you may of not had sex with other girls when we were talking but you flirted with them toru. ”

GOJO : “ ..hey i said i was sorry! ” his pout was evident

“ if you could change one thing about me what would it be? ”

GOJO : “ nothing. ”

YN : “ all quick.. ”

“ me or peeta mellark? ”

YN : “ both? ”

GOJO : “ no pick thats not fair! “

YN : “ okay well you obviously! i love my boyfriend more than some fictional man.. ” you looked over at the camera ans whispered peeta mellark,

GOJO : “ HEY I SAW THAT NO NO— “

“ have you ever faked an orgasm? ”

YN : “ no. ”

GOJO : “ im just that good ladies never settle for anything lower! ” he winked at the camera

“ have you ever thought of breaking up with me or taking a break? ”

GOJO : “ honestly once i did, but that was just because my job is so demanding i didnt want you to constantly be alone waiting for me ”

“ would you of dated me STILL if i had a child with another women? ”

YN : “ oh hell yeah i would, kid no kid it dont matter to me ”

“ what is my biggest flaw? ”

YN : “ you are very cocky and some times act like nobody can touch you or you think youre alone basically. ”

GOJO : “ well..damn ”

YN : “ its okay i still love you ”

“ have you every considered having an open relationship? ”

GOJO : “ i have thought about it BUT i don’t like the idea of open relationships. whats the point of being im a relationship if you are going to date another person? it doesn’t make me feel right either.. ”

YN : “ okay good cause i would’ve killed you if you said yes. ”

“ whats the nicest thing you’ve said about me to your friends? ”

GOJO : ww had meanest so obviously we need the nicest now spill.

YN : okay well, this was when we were in our talking stage. i already knew he liked me but i was trying to figure out my feelings and he waited for me and was so supportive. i think i cried and ranted to my friends about him the next day—

GOJO : i mean nobody should pressure nobody into a relationship

YN : see ladies NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS KEEP THOSE EXPECTATIONS HIGH.

GOJO : in the wise words of taylor swift “in a world of boys hes a gentleman!”,

YN : since when did you know tswift…

GOJO : …

“ if i was a leech would you still love me? ”

GOJO : “ aww yes, id put a cute little bow on you! ”

YN : “ really? id love a glitter bow— “

GOJO : “ i would keep you on my arm ans let you suck the shit out of me— “

YN : “ okay bye this video is over. MAKE SURE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE— ”

GOJO : “ WHAT ALREADY? I WAS JOKING WAIT PLEASE, ”

A/N: :3 gojo :3

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 17)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jesperbratt, tofff73, and 383,624 others

y/ndevils00 WE ARE SO BACK, BABIES!!

your mighty lil hell raisers won 5-2 tonight against the flightless birds, and SURPRISE!! I WAS THERE!!

what a happy “welcome back to Pitt” to my lovely former-bumblebee-color-wearing bestie, Johnny Rockets!

i’m so proud of all of our goal scorers tonight, one of which is not pictured because he wouldn’t let me order a drink at dinner last night (*cough* Bratter *cough*)!

it was also AMAZING to see my sweet Edward Cullen again, you can see in the fourth photo how much he missed me! doesn’t he look positively overjoyed?!

oh, and: p.s. that one player, number 87 on the penguins? yeah he got a penalty. HA! don’t trip my boys, Sidney. i know where you sleep.

tagged curtislazar95, naterbastian, john.marino97, ryangraves27, dawson1417, holtz_10, tofff73

Load more comments

user19 IS THIS WHAT THE CROSBY HATTY THING LAST RECAP WAS ABOUT?! SHE WAS HINTING THAT SHE WAS COMING TO THIS GAME?!

naterbastian that’s a blurry pic

y/ndevils00 hop off my dick, nathan

naterbastian no

y/ndevils00 NO?!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 how do i solve this?

dawson1417 maybe you could take less blurry pictures? i’m not sure about this one tbh

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 USELESS!

dawson1417 oh :(

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 WAIT NO! I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! YOU’RE MY BESTEST FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! EVEN MORE THAN JOHN

john.marino97 HELLO?! I’M RIGHT HERE?!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 oh hi John!

user35 DID Y/N JUST THREATEN SIDNEY CROSBY?!

user99 I FEAR THIS IS WHEN SHE GETS FIRED

holtz_10 why is Crosby pictured?

ryangraves27 what i look is terrified because i didn’t even know you were in town

y/ndevils00 it was a surprise!! were you surprised?!

ryangraves27 did he know you were coming?

y/ndevils00 nope! showed up at his house like “BOO!”

user01 who the hell are they talking about?

jackhughes i’m glad the team won and i’m glad you’ve had fun, can you come home now?

y/ndevils00 aww you miss me 🥹

jackhughes yeah, sure, but also, LSH has chewed through my phone charger, has been scratching at the couch, and bit Nico’s hand

y/ndevils00 i put her in charge of keeping the house in order while i’m gone. sounds like she’s doing great!

jackhughes i’m a human and she’s a cat??

y/ndevils00 she’s also smarter than you, my love

jackhughes did you just call me dumb?

y/ndevils00 oh my sweet, sweet himbo, i love you to pluto and back

jackhughes um, yeah, i love you too, dove

holtz_10 hello??? why is Crosby pictured??

y/ndevils00 shhh i ignore stupid questions

jesperbratt i didn’t want you to get drunk, please don’t hold it against me

y/ndevils00 aww okay 🥺 i’m sorry for leaving you out of the post, thank you for looking out for me!

jackhughes how do you do it?!

jesperbratt @/jackhughes i’m cute 🤷🏼‍♂️

jackhughes oh fuck off Bratter, obviously i’m cute too, i’m her boyfriend

curtislazar95 WE WON

y/ndevils00 YOU WON!! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT MAKING US LOSERS ANYMORE

curtislazar95 thank you?? i think??

y/ndevils00 YOU’RE WELCOME!!

y/ndevils00 notice how we win when @/tmeier96 isn’t playing… it’s cause he called me a bitch and the universe has my back

tmeier96 if i could insult you, you would be so sad right now

y/ndevils00 hmm but you CAN’T insult me! because i’m perfect!

tmeier96 actually it’s because after tuesday nights comments, Jack threatened to slap-shot a puck to my face if i insult you again

y/ndevils00 awww @/jackhughes that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever threatened for me 🥹🫶

jackhughes do people often threaten others for you?

y/ndevils00 of course?? i’m lovable and everyone i know wants me to be protected and loved!

tmeier96 well… i highly doubt EVERYONE you know…

y/ndevils00 watch it, Meier!

user56 idk, thats two posts in a row with Sidney Crosby… i’m starting to get suspicious

user13 i wanna know who the mysterious “he” is that they keep discussing!

user07 same! like, is it the same “he” every time?! and if so, if she showed up at his house, does that mean he lives in Pitt?

user22 all i’m saying is it’s suspicious and she better not be cheating on Jack

user91 @/user22 oh please! not only is she obviously head over heels for Jack, but if she were to cheat, i highly doubt everyone on the team, including Jack, would know and openly discuss him on a public platform

liked by @/y/ndevils00

[mylittlesecrethaven]

How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 3

Let's finish this off because this post series has taken a long time to finish.

(*sigh* never mind. This will be in 2 parts because it's longer than I thought it'd be.)

Cater:

I mean.... he might be ok? But he seems to have a lot of issues going on with himself, so I'm unsure if he'd even be ready for a relationship. It would probably be a pretty stable relationship, though. Although, if you're one of those "I need silence or I will go fucking insane." people, probably won't work out.

MC: *trying to zone out because they need it*

Cater: MC! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

MC: *still trying to enjoy the silence*

Cater: MC! COME ON COME ON!

MC: Can I have some peace for a moment?

Cater: But you'll miss it if you don't come!

Probably a pretty good boyfriend for certain personalities.

Ace:

Fuck no. Have you not read the wiki thing where it says he literally ghosted his gf? I get that was in middle school, but this mans literally runs from commitment and will probably bully you because he thinks it's teasing.

Ace: Seriously? That's the grade you got?

MC: I tried my hardest! I'm not from this world, remember?!

Ace: But Grim got a better grade than you. Grim! How dumb do you have to be?

MC: *either raging or crying*

(I may have based this off a fic I read)

I hope you're good at teasing his back, otherwise y'all will never get along.

Deuce:

Maybe another good one? He seems to have gotten better with his anger, so that's something. He probably wouldn't leech off of you too much. I think his only problem is that he might not see the relationship as an actual relationship, y'know? He might just treat it like a normal friendship or something. Maybe once he's graduated, he'd be better with knowing how to deal with a relationship, but for now? Not so much. He might also honestly forget y'all are in a relationship. (this might just be a headcannon? Idk)

MC: We should give each other pet names!

Deuce: Why?

MC: Cause we're dating!

Deuce: *pauses to load* ....OH!.... Right.... yeah.... we are.

But honestly? Probably a pretty good boyfriend.

Jack:

Ok, now we're just getting good boyfriend material, wtf? But seriously, Jack is a family man, and he's good at keeping at his goals. He'd be perfect at keeping his significant other on track and keep them from procrastinating. He'd probably also help them keep in shape. I feel like his only flaw is he tends to either overestimate people's abilities or try to push his views onto others a little too much.

Jack: You have to keep going or else you'll get used to stopping right before you get the exercise you need!

MC: *literally sweating through their clothes and pretty much fucking dying* I NEED A BREAK!

Jack: Just keep going! It's fine!

As long as you're an overachiever and you're ok with your limits being pushed, I'd say he's good bf material.

It's been a while, so I hope I still made this ok. There were a lot more good boyfriends than I thought there'd be.

Oh well. I'll get the next part out at some point.

[gojos-fr-bae]

Liar pt. 7

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader

Warnings: Fluff to Angst, Drinking, Cussing, Club tings (lmk if I missed anything

Word Count: 1.3K

A/N: UGH, I hate this one too, idk what it is it just doesn't fulfill what I wanted, let me know anything you would like to see or have to say. Also, DO you guys want this story to have a happy or sad ending? I'm still deciding, I'm about to finish the series so...

(Requests open)

Satoru

Satoru was going batshit crazy running around his house like a headless chicken, trying to clean and baby-proof the house. Things had been going surprisingly smoothly with you and Kaito. He had been going absolutely amazing.

You guys had been going out as a family consistently for the past three months and you finally decided to let Kaito spend the night at Satoru’s. He had spent the whole day yesterday buying snacks, toys, and redecorating the nursery that he had been preparing for the day he would meet his boy.

He was running around making sure he had gotten rid of all his alcohol, although he couldn’t lie that he was buzzed at the moment although he had tried so hard to sober up, his body just wouldn’t let him.

Just before he could begin to spiral, he heard his doorbell ring.

He ran to the door as fast as his lanky legs would take him and quickly opened it. And there you stood.

Fuck you look beautiful.

You were just wearing the first thing you found at the top of your closet, but oh gosh you made it look so good.

In your arms was Kaito’s overnight bag and the precious angel in question. He looked up at his father with his iconic blue eyes, his little fingers having a grip stronger than gravity on your shirt.

Y/N

“Hi, Satoru, thank you so much again, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you said, you had been swarmed with work and a mission you had to do, not to mention complete registering him for kindergarten and everyone was too busy to baby sit Kaito, everyone except for Satoru, and considering how much you knew he wanted this, and how much you wanted this for Kaito, you thought, why not. I mean, what could go wrong, Satoru is his dad and your baby is two years old. What harm could he possibly do?

“Hey, y-yeah, it's no problem! I would love to spend some time with the little guy,” He said, smiling at the boy who stared back at him, boredom evident in his face.

“Mhm, well here’s his bag, it has all his clothes toothbrush, the usual, and on the outer pocket I put a list of stuff he likes, hates, shouldn’t eat, beadtime instructions, emergency contac-”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down, he’ll be fine, I promise,” he whispered, holding your shoulders before taking the bag out of your hands, but you didn’t miss how they shook ever so slightly.

You set Kaito down before squatting down to look at him.

“Okay baby, I have to go now, remember what we talked about, and please listen to daddy, “ you said softly. Kaito’s eyes began to tear up as he began to reach out for you, whining softly.

“Oh, Kai, come on, you promised you’d be good, and I’ll be back first thing in the morning, okay?”you said.

“Uh-huh,” he replied, although his grip on your shirt wasn’t loosening in the slightest.

“Okay, I love you the most, okay, so so so so sooooo much.” you said, littering kisses all over his face, causing him to smile the cutest smile ever.

“Love you too!” he replied cutely.

And then, the time finally came for you to part with your little one. It pained you greatly to have to leave him, and it felt ten times worse for the little boy, but all you could do was look up at Satoru and hope he would keep your son safe.

***

Satoru

He stopped in front of Kaito’s room and opened the door to the boy’s room.

“And here’s your room” he stated as he closed off his tour.

Gojo helped Kaito unpack everything and get settled in his room before leading him to the kitchen whenever their dinner of burgers, pizza and fried chicken were waiting for them * Satoru could not cook to save his life*

The two sat and ate in awkward silence before he took Kaito into his playpen and the boy discovered a whole new world.

The thing was huge and filled with literally every toy under the sun. He giggled and ran towards it, ready to have the time of his life.

The night went by faster than he expected and it was finally time for Kaito to go to bed.

“Come on buddy, please just go to bed.” He said to the boy laying on the bed, claiming that he wasn’t tired. Satoru tried to leave but this kid and his iron grip reached for his arm, refusing to let go.

Sighing, Gojo just gave up and layed down on the bed, with his son on his chest, and just like magic, Kaito fell asleep within seconds, but Satoru was stuck. He didn’t want to move because he was scared of waking up the child, so he just accepted his fate and let sleep overcome him.

***

“Mama!!” Kaito screamed, running to you at breakneck speeds, you picked him up and hugged him tight. 

“Hi baby,” You said sweetly, smiling down at him. 

Satoru was leaning against a wall, his heart swelling at the scene before him. He could have had this. You could have been his family. It hurts to know that you are standing right before him, and yet, so out of reach.

“Thanks again Gojo, I owe you one.”

“Well…you could pay me back by going out with me?”

“Gojo…”

“Please Y/N, just this once,” He begged.

“Ok, ok, I'll think about it. Thank you so much again. Say bye to daddy Kai.”

“Bye-bye.” he said, waving at his dad, who waved back.” 

Once he closed the door, Satoru started jumping up and down, giggling giddily. YOU SAID YES, YOU’RE GOING TO ACTUALLY GO OUT WITH HIM.

If pure joy and elation were a person, it would be him.

***

Y/N

You were trying to push through the crowd at the club you had gaslit yourself into thinking you should go to. You had been so stressed recently and since Kaito wanted to hang out with Megumi, you  thought why not. Oh how you would come to regret this decision.

The hoard of grinding sweaty bodies, deafeningly loud music and strobing LEDs were becoming too much, you began to make your way to the bar, hoping for a chance to catch your breath, only to be met with an absolutely heartbreaking sight.

There was Gojo, sitting on a barstool right in front of you.  But that wasn’t the problem. No, the problem was the girl dressed in such a skimpy fit that a napkin would give her more coverage, grinding on him. And he was just sitting there.  He just held his glass, sipping on his whiskey and looking away from her with his hands on her waist. It looked like he was mumbling something to her but you couldn’t make it out from where you stood.

You saw nothing but red. Who the fuck does he think he is talking about how he missed you, asked you out, and then proceeds, to pull this shit.

You walked up to him, tears in your eyes, and slapped him with all your might.The girl looked at you in disgust but Satoru looked absolutely mortified.

“You fucking asshole!” You screamed at him. Heads turned towards you but you couldn’t care less. You turned and ran out of there as fast as your legs could take you. You could hear Gojo frantically calling out to you but you didn’t care. It’s like you completely blacked out. You ran, you don’t know where, you don’t know for how long, but you ran.

Eventually, your legs gave out. You fell on the sidewalk and sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t handle it. You thought he loved you. That he hadn’t changed, but no. Of Course not. Afterall, He’s Gojo Satoru.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Again, let me know if u want a happy or sad ending. Thank you for reading this far :)

@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here, @starlightanyaaa

© gojos-fr-bae

[anyasathenaeum]

*KICKS DOWN DOOR* YOU ASK FOR ERIKS AND I SHALL INDULGE ok so what im gonna need is some where the reader thinks Vash (they were dating before everything went to shit) is dead until they blow into town with Woofboy and they do the whole Recognition thing yknow. Ok and so after all the Bad Shit gets dealt with and they have a moment alone to talk, he thinks that they're not gonna be in love with him anymore after all this time and might even be pissed at him for sort of "abandoning" them but they just express nothing but joy at having him back in their arms again and how they're soulmates and sappy stuff like that and its very sweet and emotional and raw because they missed each other so so much. And if you sprinkled just a little spice at the end I wouldn't mind cuz the long hair and stubble is so sexy on that man. Maybe it would be great part 2 bait idk I don't wanna put too much on you. Might be best to play that by ear.

Sorry this is so long I got excited when I saw ur post ily bye.

Across Time and Space (Part 1)

A/N: HECK YEAH ANON I AM SO HERE FOR THIS. ERIKS!VASH HURT COMFORT LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm mostly going off of 98!Eriks with some Stampede!Eriks mixed in hehe and this is gonna have to be split into 2 parts because I'm INSPIRED. This part is mostly set up and some hurt in the hurt/comfort part of things. :P Read the continuation in part 2 here!

Pairing: Eriks!Vash x reader

Warnings: Some slight violence, mention of nudity, literally just going off episode 18 of Trigun so potential spoilers, potential spoilers for episode 12 of Trigun Stampede, the "hurt" part of "hurt/comfort"

You brought your hand up to shield your eyes from the glaring sunlight as the tiny town came into view, the bus you were on finally arriving after what felt like an eternity and a half.

"Remind me again why we chose to come to this tiny town, Wolfwood," You grumbled under your breath, grabbing your backpack and strapping it to your back as you started to get ready to disembark from the bus.

"Cause we gotta see if we can find the Humanoid Typhoon here," The priest replied, shooting you a smile that you couldn't bring yourself to return.

"Vash is dead, Wolfwood," You snapped back, your heart tightening in your chest as you said his name for what felt like the first time in forever, "He's dead, and we're not finding him."

Wolfwood just stayed silent, watching you carefully as you let out a deep sigh, rubbing your face with your hands, trying desperately to brush off the pain that the mere thought of Vash had brought you.

Wolfwood wasn't a fool - he knew you and Vash had been in love with each other. He knew that you and Vash were more than friends, that Vash was everything to you. Wolfwood remembered how you seemed to stop living after the disaster in the city of July, when the city was turned into a crater and Vash was nowhere to be found. You had watched the man you loved fall from the sky and the city cave in on itself in a massive explosion of energy - there was no way Vash could've survived that.

When Vash died, so did you. You existed, sure - you walked and talked and drank and ate, but you had stopped living. It was heartbreaking to watch - both Wolfwood and Meryl couldn't stand to see you so broken, but nothing they did could bring Vash back. And so, you became silent, closed-off, and you never smiled anymore.

"I'm sorry, Wolfwood. I just... don't see the point in hoping for what can't be," You apologized, your voice quiet as you stared down at the floor, your heart aching in your chest as Vash's smiling face appeared in your mind.

Wolfwood sighed a bit and just stepped forward, throwing his arm around your shoulder casually. However, when he spoke, his tone was surprisingly gentle.

"It's okay. You're still hurting, (Y/N). Let's just get off this bus and settle in, yeah?"

You nodded, pulling up your hood to cover your head as you followed Wolfwood off the bus, shoving through all the people who were fighting to get on the bus you had just arrived on.

"What the hell is all that about?" You muttered, glancing at Wolfwood in confusion as you both watched the crowd of people swarming the bus, many of them shouting at the driver to let them on.

"No clue, but I have a feeling we'll find out real soon," Wolfwood replied, his shades glistening in the sunlight as he turned his head, gesturing towards a building not too far away, "Let's start at the saloon. If anybody's got information, they'll likely be there."

You just nodded and followed Wolfwood, keeping your head down and your face hidden - you didn't feel like starting a conversation with anybody who recognized you as new to the town.

However, that plan immediately went out the window the moment you and Wolfwood stepped foot into the saloon, as you suddenly found every person in the saloon pointing their guns at the two of you. You let out a stifled yelp and threw your hands up, your heart beating fast in your chest. You heard Wolfwood let out a small sound just like you had, his hands up in the air, too, sweating slightly as he glanced around.

Thankfully, after a few seconds, the townsfolk decided you weren't a threat and lowered their weapons. With that, you and Wolfwood slowly approached the bar, and you could hear Wolfwood chatting with the bartender. As he did, you walked over to the window of the saloon, gazing at the people walking by and watching the mob chasing after the bus you had arrived on.

'Man, what a weird place,' You thought to yourself, 'Feels so tense here.'

Suddenly, you watched the ground near the bus explode, sending people flying through the air and causing Wolfwood to exclaim, "What happened over there?"

The bartender explained that the town was overrun with bandits, and then you heard the name "Vash the Stampede" escape his lips and your heart just about stopped in your chest. However, you immediately recognized that the kind of violence being orchestrated by this gang being run by "Vash the Stampede" was everything Vash opposed. There was no way this was Vash's doing.

'Like it matters, he's been dead for almost two years anyway,' You thought to yourself bitterly, your mouth pressing into a thin line. You weren't listening to whatever the bartender was telling Wolfwood, but you found yourself glancing over at the entrance as you heard the door swing open.

All the patrons immediately had their guns pointing at the intruders, which in this case, happened to be a tall man with long, blonde hair wearing glasses, holding a young girl with short, brown hair in what almost looked like a chokehold. You found yourself reaching for your own weapon, readying to fight the man until you heard the girl speak.

"Uh oh. Hey, what's the big idea you guys?!"

You jumped a little at how loud she was, and you heard the patrons mumbling to themselves, "Oh, it's only Lina."

"What do you mean "only Lina"?! Let go of me, Eriks!" The young girl, Lina, shouted, freeing herself from the grasp of the tall, blonde man who simply let her go and watched her walk towards the bar, his expression surprised.

"Lina, what's the big hurry?" The bartender asked as the girl walked over, standing right next to you and Wolfwood. You studied the girl carefully, deciding that she couldn't be older than 12 at the most.

'She's very brave, I gotta give her that,' You thought to yourself, your lip twitching upwards a bit.

"I was wondering if you could hide me somewhere," Lina asked, a sheepish smile on her face as she asked.

The bartender looked a bit concerned as he inquired, "What did you do this time?"

"She doesn't know when to quit."

You jumped out of your skin at the sudden, new voice - the tall, blonde man, Eriks, had walked up to the bar without you noticing. You physically jumped, your hood falling from your head and revealing your face, not that it mattered - you weren't trying to hide anymore.

"Oh, sorry! Did I scare yo-?" Eriks began to apologize, turning to look at you as he did so, but his sentence died in his mouth as he looked at your face, his eyes widening behind his glasses.

"It's okay," You let out a jittery half-chuckle, just trying to recollect yourself, "I just didn't hear you walk up to the bar, just startled me a bit."

Eriks didn't say a word - he just continued to look at you, his eyes almost owlishly wide. You couldn't decode the expression on the man's face, and you began to feel uncomfortable at the level of intensity in his gaze.

"Um... is something wrong?" You asked, your voice making it clear that you were becoming uncomfortable.

That was enough to snap Eriks out of whatever stupour he was in, with him shaking his head a bit as though trying to clear it, his tone a bit embarrassed, "S-Sorry! No, nothing's wrong, you just... you look like somebody I knew once."

You found yourself wanting to smile a bit, but the words struck pain into your heart again and you just nodded, your lips pressing into a thin line once again.

"I see."

The man, Eriks, let out a nervous laugh before extending his hand to you for you to shake, "I'm Eriks. Sorry about startling you...?"

It was clear he was asking for your name. You just extended your hand and took his, shaking it firmly, "(Y/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

You thought you felt Eriks' grip on your hand falter for half a moment, but you brushed it off - probably nothing of note.

"N-Nice to meet you, (Y/N)," Eriks replied, his voice breaking slightly. He was evidently very, very nervous.

"Are you okay?" You asked bluntly, "You look ready to pass out."

Eriks just nodded before letting your hand go, "Y-Yeah! I'm good, I'm fine. Just, um... Lina's in trouble."

You didn't entirely buy that sudden excuse, but you decided to go with it, "Uh oh, what did she do?"

That's when you heard Lina explaining that she thumped a bandit across the face and that the bandit was coming after her.

"What are you telling me?" The bartender asked, his voice full of worry and his expression becoming one of horror, "Oh, my dear..."

"Yeah... I'm afraid so," Lina confirmed, leaning on the bar with a sad expression on her face, "And they weren't real happy about it. But, at least I don't think they saw me come in here."

The bartender immediately began to yell, and before you had a second to process what was happening, the wall next to you exploded, causing you to cry out as you got thrown across the room.

"Hey... I wasn't done eating yet," You heard Wolfwood complain, and you groaned as you sat up from the floor where you'd landed. You could've laughed at the image of Wolfwood holding his knife and fork over his plate, which was now crushed by a piece of broken wall.

"(Y/N)! You okay?"

You looked up to see Eriks standing above you, offering you his hand to help you up, which you took gladly.

"Yeah, I'm okay," You replied, brushing yourself off as you got to your feet, wincing slightly as your back ached from the impact, "I'm probably badly bruised, but I don't think anything's broken."

The look of relief on Eriks' face didn't feel like it matched what it should've been for a stranger he had just met - he looked relieved as he would look if you had been one of his closest friends. It was weird.

However, before you had a moment longer to think about it all, you heard yelling coming from outside the bar - the bandit who Lina had hit, yelling to give her up or that he'd shoot again if they didn't.

You grit your teeth, anger surging through your body - how dare this bandit threaten a child? She may be feisty and fiery, but she was still just a child. You grabbed your weapon and began to walk towards the hole in the wall, but somebody stopped you in your tracks, putting their arm out in front of you - Eriks.

"No, wait. Let me handle this," He spoke, his voice quiet but very sure. A surge of familiarity coursed through you - where had you heard this before? That tone... that calmness... it unsettled you as you knew you'd heard it before, but where? You couldn't pin it.

That split second of you being thrown off by the sudden feeling of déjà-vu was all Eriks needed before he walked out of the bar, his hands in the air, trying to appease the bandit and stop him from doing further damage to anybody or anything.

"Wolfwood," You mumbled, coming up to the priest, "Is it just me, or does Eriks feel... familiar to you?"

The priest just looked at you carefully, "Familiar? Familiar how?"

"I don't know," You confessed, "Just... the way he spoke to me just now reminded me of-"

Your eyes widened and your words died on your lips as you realized exactly who Eriks had reminded you of.

Vash.

You didn't need to say anything - Wolfwood could see the immediate look of shock on your face, the realization dawning on you. You could feel your breathing picking up and your heart rate was starting to go through the roof - why did Eriks sound so much like Vash? Hadn't you suffered enough? To lose Vash once was agony. But to be reminded of him now? It was unbearable.

"Woah, (Y/N), woah, calm down, breathe. You need to breath."

You could hear Wolfwood's words, but you couldn't understand them, couldn't process them. You were bordering on a full-blown panic attack. The world suddenly became quieter, all sounds muted, as though you were underwater. You couldn't process anything else going on around you right now. All you could do was stumble to your feet and run to the hole in the wall of the saloon, your eyes landing on the blonde man who reminded you so much of the love of your life.

You didn't really understand what was happening - you could vaguely hear the tones and timbre of Eriks' voice and the voice of the bandit, but you couldn't make out the words. You watched as Eriks bowed to the bandit all the way to the ground, trying to apologize on Lina's behalf and diffuse the situation, but it apparently hadn't been enough.

The bandit yelled something at Eriks, to which he apparently agreed. To your surprise, you watched as Eriks suddenly... began to take off his clothes?

"W-What?" You mumbled, not understanding what was happening. All you could make out was the sound of Lina crying next to you, and Wolfwood comforting her as Eriks defended her, even at the cost of his pride.

When you looked back at Eriks, you suddenly felt as though you had been hit by a truck.

Those scars... that body... the missing arm replaced with a prosthetic...

All you heard before the ground came up to meet you and the world went black around you was the sound of Wolfwood exclaiming your name - "(Y/N)!".

You don't know how long you'd been unconscious for, but when you found yourself waking up, you didn't recognize your surroundings. You were in a rather large room, laying on what could've only been a hospital bed, right next to a large window. There were no other beds or patients in the room with you - it was just you. And-

"Morning, sweetheart."

You jumped, turning to see Wolfwood sitting at your bedside, a smirk on his face as his cigarette dangled between his lips crookedly.

"W-Wolfwood," You spoke, your voice strained, "W-What-?"

"You dropped like a stone," Wolfwood explained, standing from his chair and walking over to sit right next to you on your bed, "You saw Eriks' scars and I guess the realization of who he was was just too much for you to handle. Can't say I'm surprised, it's not every day you learn that supposedly dead love of your life isn't actually dead."

Wolfwood just grinned at you, but you just sat there, unmoving, eyes staring forward like you were a statue, not really seeing whatever you were looking at. The memories of what had preceded your passing out came back to you in flashes, and before Wolfwood could continue speaking, you were suddenly sobbing as you had never sobbed before.

All the pain, the sadness, the grief, the loneliness, the feeling of having part of you missing for so long overwhelmed you, making you feel every bit of emotion you had been repressing over the past two years. You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, crying your eyes out as you buried your face into your knees, unable to comprehend what was happening. Surely you were dead, or dreaming, because there was no way that Vash was really alive.

Unless...

"I'll leave you be," You heard Wolfwood say gruffly, before he stood up, patting your back and leaving you alone to confront your emotions.

After that, Wolfwood walked over to another patient's room - that of Eriks, or rather, Vash the Stampede. He had already spoken to Vash earlier, telling him about the fact that Millions Knives was still at large, but now... this was going to be a very different conversation.

Wolfwood didn't even bother knocking, just letting himself right into Vash's room, walking over to where the blonde young man sat in his bed.

"You know, I'm surprised you didn't straight up kill (Y/N)," Wolfwood started, a small smirk on his face as he sat next to Vash, who was just watching him carefully. He watched Vash's expression become one of concern the moment your name left Wolfwood's lips.

"What do you mean?" Vash asked, eyebrows furrowing at Wolfwood's statement - the last Vash saw of you was when he stopped you from taking on the bandit yourself, and you were fine, then.

Wolfwood sighed, "(Y/N) saw your scars, Stampede. It was too much for them to handle and they passed out cold. Smacked their head pretty bad on the way down, but that was my bad, I didn't expect them to go down."

"What?!" Vash exclaimed, his blue eyes widening in worry. He immediately began to try to get out of his bed, but Wolfwood stopped him.

"(Y/N)'s spent the last two years grieving you, Vash. They believed you were dead. This is a bigger shock than you know. They heard nothing from you and the last thing they saw of you was when July city imploded on itself."

Vash's eyes somehow managed to widen even more, and tears were beginning to well in them as Wolfwood explained the situation to him. Wolfwood told him everything he knew - about how you'd essentially become a living statue, not truly living beyond basic existence, about how broken you'd become, how closed-off and sad you were now. You'd been changed so badly that neither Vash nor Wolfwood were really sure if you'd ever rebound from this.

By the time Wolfwood was done explaining, Vash found himself crying silently, his heart torn to pieces at the thought of what this had done to you.

"They loved you more than anything, Vash," Wolfwood stated quietly, standing up as he went to take his leave for the second time that day, "I think you owe them an explanation and a very big apology."

With that, Wolfwood left Vash to his own thoughts, just as he had done to you earlier.

Vash sat there, just replaying everything Wolfwood had told him in his mind. He was telling the truth, Vash knew - he had seen the look on your face when he initially saw you as Eriks. Vash had been so taken aback by you when he took a good look at your face - you looked so much like yourself, but simultaneously so different.

Your face had new scars, and lines engraved in your skin from frowning and worrying rather than from smiling, as you used to in the past. Your expression was tired and somewhat empty, even as you greeted him, and your tone was dull and serious. And your eyes...

Tears began to course down Vash's cheeks freely, soft sobs escaping from his throat as pain jolted through him as he recalled your eyes.

Your eyes were utterly lifeless. Like you had died in every way except physically.

Vash had had to restrain himself from gasping loudly, sobbing his heart out and begging you for forgiveness when he'd looked at you for the first time in two years. He had wanted nothing more than to pull you into his embrace as he used to do before July then and there, but when you failed to recognize him, Vash knew that he couldn't do that to you.

'There's no way they still love me now,' Vash thought to himself, his pain intensifying and his cries becoming louder as he sobbed into his hands, 'I've destroyed them, too.'

You were the love of Vash's life. Nobody ever meant more to him than you did, and after the destruction of July city... Vash couldn't face you. He was a murderer, while you were innocent, pure, and good. He couldn't bring himself to look for you, or try to reach out to you, because he had wanted to keep you safe. Especially now that his bounty was 60 billion double dollars and everybody was hunting for him.

But when he saw you in that saloon... and he saw how damaged you'd become... he realized that he'd done had been wrong. So, so wrong. You'd loved him all that time, to the point where his supposed death broke you beyond repair, and it was all Vash's fault. In trying to protect you, he'd been the one to hurt you worse than anybody ever had before.

And now, he had to find the strength to face you. But how could he?

"Your gun! Give me your gun, hurry!"

Vash suddenly heard the frantic, panicked voice of Lina's grandmother, Grandma Sheryl, coming from downstairs. He focused in, wiping the tears off his face as he listened.

"It's Lina, they got her!"

The arguing continued, and Vash knew what he had to do then. Once he'd rescued Lina, he'd talk to you. He'd face you, and finally pay for his mistake.

As Vash dressed and exited his room, he found Wolfwood standing there, leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his lips once more.

"They got (Y/N), too, it seems like," Wolfwood stated, looking surprisingly calm despite having to deliver terrible news, "Guess they thought (Y/N) was a worthy hostage."

Vash's eyes widened, and his gaze hardened slightly, his heart twisting hard in his chest at the thought of you in danger - despite the two years that had passed, Vash still loved you more than anything in his life, and he still sought to protect you. He had thought of you every day, wondering where you were, what you were up to, if you'd missed him...

He had to rescue you and Lina as soon as possible.

With his teeth gritted and his gun holstered, Vash headed out with Wolfwood trailing in his wake.

"Then, let's go get them."

Wolfwood just smirked.

"There's the Stampede I used to know."

[findafight]

i don't get why robin and eddie clocking each other is so popular. firstly i find it kind of cheap esp since it's usually a set-up for robin and/or eddie being all-knowing arbiters of lgbt knowledge while steve is clueless and dumb and not lgbt enough (despite usually being bi) to partake in this exchange as well. then it's otherwise used to establish an immediate connection between robin and eddie since they are both gay which automatically makes them besties. secondly it doesn't make much sense w what we see of either robin or eddie. like we know robin struggles w social cues and we see that that extends to sexual orientation through her interactions w vickie. also i think she is just not paying that much attention to eddie i must be honest. then w eddie he spends his time campaigning for the stancy revival while steve blatantly stares at his mouth so. i don't think he'd be good at that either. like the irony in this being so common is that steve is the person that does clock someone else on top of being consistently socially and emotionally intelligent and perceptive. idk sometimes i feel like ppl take him not clocking robin as proof he's incapable of it despite him then clocking someone later and being right, and that s3 scene fitting into the broader context of steve being lonely, insecure, and off his game for most of s3 as well as between s2 and s3. tbh missed comedy potential w steve being the one person in that trio that actually knows what's happening.

oooohg yeah i feel you anon. Not to say that all the fics that have these tropes in them are bad! it just. sometimes gets annoying? I don't want people to feel too bad about it but yes agree.

I think it really is used as a way to fast track their friendship. Truly unfortunate that it's often used to make them all knowing queer guides instead of the disaster teenage gays they are.

Robin is a small town lesbian who is only out to one singular person, she does not know anything, let alone vague little queer codes that might be happening. She wouldn't know Eddie was queer for a variety of reasons. She says herself she's not good at reading people! She's also busy worrying about if she's doing something that might out her or make people suspicious of her, so she's not analyzing other people's actions. She does not care about men that aren't Steve enough to pay enough attention to figure out if Eddie is queer or not lol. She can't even figure out if the girl she likes who likes her back is queer when her best friend is telling her. Oblivious icon! open your eyes, queen!!

Eddie had a man he deliberately broke a moment of romantic tension between his love interest by throwing a vest at his face staring at his lips and still pushed him towards said love interest. Sir. what are you doing. and once it's clear stncy isn't happening you know eddie would be like okay. why aren't you dating Robin? hmm? she's cool! and causes Steve to Suffer. (Steve was flirting with Eddie .5 seconds before he started on this please get with the program Eddie!!)

Also think it's silly that people would stereotype Eddie as Queer from how he dresses as though that's not just how a lot of people dressed? long hair was In in the 80s. Metal fashion was there. It also likely had some/a lot of ingrained homophobia in the subculture (as many things did). Sorry Eddie, but I'm pretty sure our boy Brucie did more for the gays than metallica. (Kissing Clarence Clemens Right On The Mouth Many Times On Stage thank you mr. springsteen and mr. clemens sirs.)

Steve's the only one of these three that 1) knows how to flirt 2) knows when someone is flirting with him 3) has consistently demonstrated being emotionally and socially intelligent to observe people (more than arguably anyone else in the series) and 4) has any kind of functioning gaydar. Totally agree that Steve not clocking Robin despite his gaydar is that he was way off his game, insecure, in a funk, pathetic sad meow meow era, and in a weird state of squish-or-crush on Robin, that was pushed towards crush by Dustin but slam dunked into squish by Robin coming out (does that make any sense?)

I truly, truly believe Vickie returned Fast Times paused on 53 minutes and five seconds specifically when she knew Robin and/or Steve would be the ones to rewind it. Why else would she not rewind it? when clearly they knew who had rented it and could potentially out her if they read into it? She was getting vibes from robin and knew that Steve would at least report Back to Robin (I refuse to believe the championship game was the only time stobin gossiped like they did. Vickie knows their shenanigans.) so she decided to be indirect but kinda obvious about it!! And while Robin is denying this Steve has seen the truth, he knows exactly what Vickie is doing. (would be very funny if Steve and Vickie clock each other, and then make eye contact like I know what you are. They deserve to become funky little friends while Steve is trying to get her and Robin together.)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 19

chapter 33:

1. awwww being close to sirius again is the best part of reg’s life now

2. “James nearly breaks his fucking neck to do a double-take as soon as Regulus is led out again. If he was a dog, his ears would be standing straight up in intense interest. Sirius whacks him on the back of his head in what seems to be a reflex, most likely because James is doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that he's currently undressing Regulus with his eyes.”

😭😭😭 james, keep it in your pants

3. i love that when people are jokingly mean to james, the first thing he does is call for his mum. he’s such a momma’s boy

4. james and reg being dressed up pretty <3333

5. effie and monty 💕💕🥰🥰

6. i love everyone teasing james and regulus for their crushes. they’re so funny 😭😭

7. oh. james leaving a flower at the door everyday is reg’s reason for getting up in the morning

8. their disabilities are not being ignored!!!!

9. i- they’re gonna have to visit the districts of all their friends from the arena, knowing that they walked those same streets and breathed that same air, and have to be fine

10. 😧 district twelve was where remus lived. i- sirius is not gonna do well

11. plsss lyall is so scared of why sirius would be knocking at his door

12. stop, this conversation with lyall is making me cry

13. lyall is gonna write remus a letter. i’m SOBBING

14. sirius missing remus is making me miss him too

15. “"You just found out my son is a murderer," Lyall informs him, raising his eyebrows slowly.

Sirius blinks. "Mr. Lupin, I'm also a murderer. I've killed twelve people."”

😳 they’re both on thin ice but that exchange is also unnecessarily funny

16. 😭😭😭😭 sirius, buddy, you just told lyall that you and remus had sex. my boy, pls think before speaking next time

17. 😭😭😭 he just rambled more and admitted to being in love. sir 😭😭

chapter 34:

1. DORCAS SEES MARLENE FROM THE TRAIN

2. DORLENE HUGGG!! FUCK YEAH

3. i’m so mad at the riches that victors and the hollow receive, while there are literally people in starvation

4. god, they’re so gay. dorcas just gave marlene her ring

5. i can’t fucking deal with this. james sees vanity and hodges’ families

6. i knew i couldn’t deal with it, cause james’ speech to the families is making me cry

7. 😬 shit they just did the hallow is hollow chant. shit shit shit

8. james, stop being so harsh on yourself. you deserve the same grace that you gave sirius

9. 😧 evans only friend was regulus. i- i am not okay at all

10. sobbing, shit shit shit. they’re looking at evan’s tree

11. “They talk a lot, him and Evan. Or Evan's ghost. Regulus tells him secrets that he's never told another soul. Evan is his best friend, so why shouldn't he?”

deep breath. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

12. 😭😭😭 regulus deciding that he must climb the tree even tho he doesn’t really want to

13. !!!! progress!! reg wants to sleep in james’ room!

14. “He won't see Evan in his dreams again for a long, long time.” 😐 i want to stare into author’s soul cause i hate them for this line

(also, if anyone knows author’s pronouns and could let me know, that would be great. idk if it’s something they shared or not, but if it is, i’d like to know)

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

we need more ethan!spiderman au omg

okay so i wasn’t sure if you wanted like a blurb/fic (if you do just send like a prompt or something) but i’ll give headcanons! (a mix of ethan and reader centered hc)

- i’m gonna say the reason ethan had landry instead of bailey for his last name is cause his mom died in childbirth so his dad gave ethan her last name. the last piece of her. (why i made that so sad? idk?)

- the bailey-landry family moved from california to new york two years after the mom’s death. bailey wanted a new start for him and the kids. so that’s where you join this tale. you meet ethan in 7th grade, partners in p.e. for a game.

“they’re gonna pummel you.” a mindless comment when your game partner stood beside you. ethan’s eyes widened and looked down at himself, “what? why?” his voice cracked on why and it added to your comment, “you’re built like a stick. but i’ll protect you.” he fell in love that day.

- so you know that scene in ITSV were miles said “i think i hit puberty” cause of his growth spurt. yeah so i would say ethan was definitely scrawny and probably 5’6 (let’s say he got bit in 10th grade, late bloomer) so the next day after he got bit suddenly he’s 6’2 with abs and muscles

“woah, when the hell did this happen?” his dad asks when ethan joins him and quinn at breakfast. ethan just mumbles, “puberty?” and bailey laughs, “more like steroids” and quinn just quirks her brows chewing her food in silence.

- i’m gonna give him the tobey powers, so his webs shoot from his wrist naturally (i know still gross, but i don’t think he’s super science smart)

imagine he’s just in his room and then sneezed into his elbow and BAM, web on the wall. he’s still and then, “what the fuck?!”

- when you saw ethan at school after the weekend, it’s was like your jaw cartoon dropped to the floor. you almost mistook him for someone else cause your mind is like that’s not your ethan. but then he walked up to you and said your name and you just said, “what the fuck happened over a two day weekend?”

- now i’m gonna say it isn’t until senior year of hs that two things happen. 1. you realize these certain feelings and thoughts about ethan that aren’t going away and you’re not mad about it. 2. you find out he’s spider-man.

1. sitting across from him at the library where the both of you are working on homework. you groan to yourself and rub your face. you look at ethan who has his eyes focused on his work, one earbud playing music while the other dangle from his shirt. his curls look more defined that day and his biceps are tight against the striped polo, it feels like your eyes can’t move away. he looks up from his paper and smiles sweetly before it morphed to concern, “you okay?” voice softer due to the rules. and for some reason your heart stuttered and it was like the air was sucked from your lungs. “yeah,” was all you could say.

2. i feel it would be the cliché finding out your friend is a superhero (think green lantern 2011) spider-man saves you from something, wrong time wrong place. he’s extra gentle with you, a little touchy, asking if your okay if you got hurt in anyway. and he practically sighs when you say your untouched from harm. your eyes catch the few ticks you notice from ethan and you think nothing at first, but when he talks and says certain words, your mind confirms it for you. ethan landry is spider-man. so you go to his house later that day and retell him the events (even though he was there) and hearing him say almost the exact same words made you blurt out, “why didn’t you tell me you’re spider-man?” and ethan freezes and tries to stutter through any answer to throw you off. “so if i look in your closet or draws i won’t find a red and blue webbed costume?” “…no”

- you help ethan with excuses when needed. skipping class? he’s at the dentist. missing a shift at the job you both work at? try and copy his voice over the shitty call. bailey asking where he is at 10:30pm? fell asleep at your place.

- ethan unofficial makes you the guy in the chair (girl in the chair? copilot?) you were really reluctant about it. he’d have you call to the police anonymously to report a tied up bad guy. you’d help stitch his outfit back together when it gets cut (you’d try teaching him and when he’d do something wrong you either grab it from his hands or put yours over his just to ‘flirt’ with him). also wash blood from the outfit (you’d cry silently to yourself in the bathroom while ethan stayed in your room to lay down. you hated when there was too much red mixed with the water. you don’t like seeing him hurt, and if you express this he’d say ‘i’m fine. i have superhealing’ and you resist punching his bicep).

- when the big bads start showing up (sinister six) and ethan was getting tossed like a bag of rice or sand, he would basically crawl to your house and and the both of you do this repetitive routine. then crawl into your bed, blanket tight and thrown over your bodies, you’d cling to each other. tucking yourself into ethan’s chest with your fist tight in his shirt, his chin digging into your head with his arms over your shoulders, his palms rubbing your back.

“ethan?” voice muffled. he hummed, the vibration tickling your cheek. “are you gonna be okay?” sounding like a scared child. his up and down rubbing continued, “of course. i can handle myself.” you knew he was saying it for your sake. “but these people, ethan. their different from street level thugs and muggers. they have powers and high tech.” “and they have weaknesses just like everybody else. spider-man always wins the day.” and then he pressed his lips to your head. and it wasn’t a peck, it was those lingering kisses where the giver is trying to pour ever ounce of love they have for the reciver.

- you have notifications for updates on spider-man. even listening to the news. the news! who watches/listens to the news?

- ethan leaves you random notes through out the day. some with a -el (holy shit my initials?) or sometimes not signed to pretend you have a secret admirer so he could be bold and blatantly compliment you (you know his hand writing, but at least this gives you some hints that he like likes you)

- you guys practically flirt when ethan approaches as spider-man in public. (the mask gives him extra confidence and you have a slight kink for the mask🫢)

- bailey hates spider-man and quinn likes him. so ethan just sits awkwardly whenever they bring up his alter-ego. trying to stay neutral if they look to him for an answer.

- if you go out and drink hard (very rare) ethan is watching your location like a hawk! texting every now and again (not trying to come off as clingy or whatever. just a worried friend) always happy to pick you up and take you home (he gives you piggyback rides and you rest your chin on his shoulder slowly falling asleep)

a/n: honestly would love to do more hc if anyone wants. but also if you do want more spider-man!ethan send a prompt to my inbox!

[lunels]

with dating ellie comes with…

dating ellie williams !!

♡ - decided to write this on a whim when i woke up from a short nap today. was kinda reluctant to post this cause i know there are a lottt of these out there buuuttt, this was fun 2 write. anywayyyy, enjoy < 3

with dating ellie, comes with…

her iconic and award-winning journal. that thing has documented just about everything in her life over the years annddddd before dating U she would write about you in it constantly. even b4 she realized she was crushing. just saying how cool you are and she loves being your friend. im talking before bed, having breakfast, after talking to you, after hearing you laugh. she’d draw you too. jot down little details ab you. you name it, it’s journaled. you’d come across it one day and see a few pages written about you, all smiley like awwweeee ellieeeeee, you reallly love meee and she’d be soo embarrassed, like yeah.. just a little bit.

which takes us toooo…. her episodic memory! (😱it’s true! jk.) but nah actually this girl’s memory is hit or miss. in terms of you though she remembers a lot of things…. like how you get grumbly when you’re hungry or how you prefer sitting down to wipe instead of standing up orrr how your first kiss with her was on a wednesday at 6:54pm. the weird little things you know!? other times…. information goes through one ear and out the other. you ask her what she did 10 mins ago & she’s stuck sitting there trying to recall. sometimes you wonder if you were to knock on her head if it would feel hollow or not.

her unusual appetite… i think she’s a picky eater and LOVES to eat but LOVES……. finger foods. what you would consider snacks would be breakfast lunch and dinner to her. one day you'd be in the store by the freezers & she'd dramatically gasp, ....dino fuckin nuggets? they had these the whole time?! aw man.. and she's just holding the box while reading the ingredients like its the most interesting discovery. babe do you SEE this??? did you know????? and you’re like noo… whaaattt! that’s crazyyy! knowing she won’t eat anything else & it would be her favorite hyperfixation of food til like. death. ellie is not going to dive into a 5 star meal. i mean, she would... but it's not preferred. if you’re having a date night she will happily order chicken tenders and fries with a side of ketchup. hell if she’s feeling a lil healthy that day a cup of grapes too. meanwhile you have… not that. your plate consists of five cheese ziti with a buttered and crisp breadstick on the side with garlic parmesan marinara sauce for dip idk. she'll just look at your plate like "okay! if that's what you like babe......if you like it go ahead…" while munching on a piece of chicken. you'd shrug, "least i don't eat like a toddler." the contrast in plates is horrificcc

her lowkey cocky and competitive nature. don’t get me wrong she’s default awkward and nervy but does have a bit of an ego. her vocabulary consists of alot of “yeah?”s and shit that makes you nervous but as soooonnnn as you hit back with the same energy she’s shying away and stuttering. because she’s like damn that made me feel something. uh oh. dating her would consist of a lot of races and competition over simple things….. such as seeing who could get to bed first, orrr race u to kitchen! when you two first started dating she would tell you lots of facts (still does) ab space/dinosaurs and be like “a million earth’s can fit inside the sun. did ya know that babe??” “i bet you don’t know why this dinosaur poops in pebbles…” why would you??? now it's just a regular occurrence. she’d feel so smart and brainy knowing you don’t know a thing she’s talking about. with her competitive side she’s also kinda sore loser too. you beat her in a video game, she’s moping around the entire day until you finally give in to a rematch… mumbling ab how that was just a warmup. and she hasn’t played the game in a while. yeah ok. but best believe she’s shit talking the entire time and finally boasting ab her longggg overdue win

her nerdy dorky loser side. she’s a nerd. she’s a dork. she’s a loser!! idc what u say that’s her. everyone should know this. the girl is in love with space and dinosaurs and reads comics and is technically a pro gamer. like that’s her shit. what does that say?? & the pun books?? come. on. being her gf would mean that there wouldn’t be a day that’d go by that you wouldn’t hear about a fun fact ab space or how something reminded her of a particular dinosaur that lived 19356827.9999 years ago. if you ever touch one of her collectibles or pick up those little trading cards or highly rare action figures she'd immediately run over and swat your hand away, lecturing you about how they haven't sold this character in years and she found this at a garage sale 5 years ago.... how could you- why you do such a thing??!?!? like babe… i love you… so much. but. don’t touch my shit ever again. yeah. it's that serious.

sleepless nights!!!!! she’s pretty much an insomniac. lowkey, but highkey. like, she sleeps, obviously, but she can’t sleep. which would often lead to you waking up in the middle of the night to find her re-building a jurassic park lego set orrrr playing one of her little video games. maybe jamming out to some music as she draws. (bonus if she's drawing your face cuz she can’t you outta her head) and all u hear is her humming along, music blasting out of her headphones like drrrrr dodododoo yeAhhh ooOooO or times if you can’t sleep either, the two of you would be up talking and goofing off w hushed laughs over nothing but it’s really everything to her and she just looks at you with her pretty eyes like... this person is really my whole world.

her guitar skills!!! how could i forget!!!! she plays, like a lot, and anytime you’re over that’s the one of the things she’s doing. most likely playing along to her fav band or practicing a song you suggested once. she’d always wanna play for you and show you a new trick she learned or play you a song she wrote. (bonus if it’s about you<33) if she’s sooo in love with you she’d def wanna teach you a few things:)) sometimes if you can’t sleep she’d be like babe gimme a song. any song and i’ll play it for you. and you’re likee glue song:))) then… there u go. she’d do all the little tuning stuff & you can’t help but feel mesmerized by the way her pretty hands pluck the strings or how she hums the lyrics on some parts. glancing at you every while to make sure you're still listening. she’s just sooo… *prettily sighs*

comic con. anime con. gaming con. YOU NAME IT. shes at all the cons!!!! she’s there and flourishing like a little butterfly. best believe she is dragging you to every single one (for support and comfort cause she wouldn’t ever go alone) and showing you eve-r-y-thing. everything? everything!!! she’d be genuinely excited. all smiley and jumping from place 2 place, pointing at all the characters she recognizes. like babe that's the wizard guy!!! remember him??? and then that's his buddy who’s like a thousand fuckin years old! look at him!!! never knew dude was so wrinkly in person though...yeesh. and you're like ohh… yeaahh☺️ so overwhelmed and very much confused and getting characters mixed up w others from her little rants but she's happy so you're happy n that's all that matters right? if you can't show up for some reason, her gf, who she forced to have on her arm, then jesse because he was the next person actually down to go BUT she would make him take a bunch of pics just to personally send to you. like waitwaitwait she's gotta see this—jesse where's my fucking phone?!? okay whatever just use yours. hurry up before they leave! spamming you left & right with all these attachments of her posed w her favs or pics of her at the different events there. she’d look so cute that you’re like okaaayy…. maybeeee i’ll go w her next time :)))

okay that’s it! this was rly fun to write!! i hope someone out there liked this and maybeee i'll do a prt 2 :) all loveee < 33