#yes ken rides a horse

[bettsfic]

wikipedia editors providing the most important info up top

[thapunqueen]

SO I SADDLE UP MY HORSE AND I RIDE INTO THE CITAAYY !!!!!

[3seven-gambler]

#⌁꒰Cowgiɾl Bɑɾbie! ɾeɑdeɾ x RG! Ken dɑting heɑdcɑnons꒱

⋆ w𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇��: 631

⋆ g𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: fluff, SFW

⋆ a/n: not proofread!

ken lives in my head rent free rn- also this is my first writing in a long time so this might not be the best sorry-.

⋆ When he first saw you arriving to Barbie Land was with your beautiful sparkly horse.

⋆ He thought you looked so good on your outfit! He wanted to go and put on his cowboy outfit so bad.

⋆ One time, he saw your striking horse standing alone, no sight of you near it. He took the chance and waited for you there while petting your horse.

⋆ -“Well, hello there, Ken” you said while walking closer to him, giving him a bright smile.

⋆ - “Hi Barbie!” he said with his characteristically smile and excitement in his sweet voice, while still stroking your horse softly.

⋆ You took notice of that -“You like horses?”

⋆ -“Horses are AMAZING” he said even with more excitement.

⋆ -“I see” you laughed softly because of his attitude. 

⋆ He looked at you with the softest eyes you had ever seen, like if they carried so much love and care.

⋆ And you had an idea then. -“Hey, would you like to go to my dream farm house, I got more horses there, and I could use so help to feed them all”.

⋆ He felt like if all his wishes had come true, or at least some of them.

⋆ He gladdly accepted, and so you got on your special horse and he sat behind you, hugging your waist.

⋆ You rode out of the city and got to a big farm with a stunning mansion and a big stable.

⋆ He finally had a real best day ever, before all he nedeed was a look from Stereotypical Barbie; but then when he met you, everything just felt even more right.

⋆ Months went by and the two of you become super really close. Every other Barbie, Ken and also Allan took quick notice of that.

⋆ You two had a thing going, at least you thought that. You knew, from what other Barbies and Allan told you, about Ken’s big crush on Stereo Barbie, but how she didn’t feel the same way. But did he keep having those feelings towards her?

⋆ Hopefully, when you were hanging out with Ken one day he asked you out, making all your worries go away.

⋆ The two of you were on a date he planned with all his heart, he wanted this to be THE perfect date. He told you to get Starry, your ultimate spacial horse, and guided the two of you to a super special location on the beach. After a while, with all of his courage asked you -“Would you like us to be girlfriend and boyfriend?” while closing his eyes and crossing his fingers. When you said yes, he asked for permission to kiss you, and you answered by graving him softly by his cheeks and giving him a sweet long kiss.

⋆ He plans the best dates ever. Picnics, horse rides together, beach days, and many cute things.

⋆ He’s literally such a sweetheart. Whenever he’s with you -which is all the time now-, he makes sure to have all your favorite things at hand and also things for Starry.

⋆ He spends a lot of time in your house; he visits you every day now that you are together.

⋆ He helps you out feeding and taking care of the horses, and of course you have a great time as well since he’s really good at it and he’s a great company as well.

⋆ He makes sure to have matching outfits with you, always.

⋆ He cried hard when, after a while, you asked him to move in into your ‘farm’.

⋆ He took a full sense of responsability to take care of the house and the horses.

⋆ He just wants to show you how much he appreciates what you have done for him. After all, you gave him all he could wish for: love, a place to call home, and horses<3.

❥ 𝖱𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽. || 𝖣𝖮 𝖭𝖮𝖳 𝖱𝖤𝖯𝖮𝖲𝖳/𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖭𝖲𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖤.

[beebopboom]

The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter

Yep! That’s right we are diving back into season 1, specifically with the last true witch, Agnes Nutter

This first part is mainly going to deal with what is in her book and is largely just a reference point. This will cover all the prophecies we know about and the images included in her book that I could find

Further analysis and theories will start in part two

-> which you can click here to read if you’d like

But other than that let’s just dive in

Prophecies 

Most of these we know and we see play out but there are a few stragglers- (which I’m not going to go into in this series just for the sole reason my very ill brain cannot handle them right now, maybe in the future)

Prophecy 1111: "An the Great Hound Sharl come and the Two Powers sharl watch in... Goeth where is its Master, Where the... Notte, and he shall name it, True to... and Hell shall flee it."

Prophecy 2214: "In December 1980, an Apple will arise no man can eat. Invest thy money in Master Jobbes's machine, and good fortune will tend thy days."

Prophecy 2213: "I tell ye this, and I charge ye with my wordes. Four shall ride, and three shall ride the sky as two, and one shall ride in flames, and there shall be no stopping them. Not fish, nor rain, neither devil or angel. And ye shall be there also, Anathema."

Prophecy 2315: "Sum say It cometh in London Town, or New Yorke, butte they be Wronge, for the place is Taddes Fild, Stronge inne hys powr, he cometh like a knight innne the fief, he divideth the Worlde into 4 partes, he bringeth the storme.

Prophecy 3001: "Behind the Eagle's Neste, a great Ash hath fallen.

Prophecy 3007: "Prayers and hope ... / Brings forth sorrow and serpents reign / For the devil lucks in plain sight / Under an arc of pale moonlight."

Prophecy 3008: "When that the angel readeth these words of mine, in his shoppe of other menne's books, then the final days are certes upon us. Open thine eyes to understand. Open thine eyes and rede, I do say, foolish principalitee, for thy cocoa doth grow cold."

Prophecy 3009: "Seven who hold the Scepter shall be killed...of them shall become a saint."

Prophecy 3011: "The exer... and churches be laid open to ... oppressed shall prevail, and oppose the cruelty of foreigners. For a Boar of Cornwall shall give his assistance, and trample their necks under his feet."

Prophecy 3012: "A shower of blood shall rain, and a raging famine shall afflict mankind. When these things happen, the Red Dragon shall grieve, but when his fatigue is over he shall recover his strength. Then shall misfortunes hasten upon the White Dragon, and the buildings of his gardens be pulled down."

Prophecy 3017: "I see Four Riding, bringing the Ende and the Angells of Hell ride with them, And three shall Rise. And Four and Four Together be Four and the Dark Angel sharl Own Defeat, Yette the Manne sharl claim his Own."

Prophecy 3477: Lette the wheel of Fate turne, let harts en-join, there are othere fyres than mine; when the wynd blowethe the blos-soms, reach oute one to anothere, for the calm cometh when Redde and Whyte and Blacke and Pale approche to Peas is Our Professioune.

Prophecy 3817: "The Number of the Beast is in the Revelayting of Sainte John, call hym in Taddesfield. And ye will know hym by this sign, that when ye do call hym, the Lesser Beaste will walk upon his hind legs like unto a Dancing Bear."

Prophecy 3819: "When Orient's chariot inverted be, four wheles in the skye, a man with bruises be upon Youre Bedde, aching his hedd for willow fine, a manne who testeth with a pyn yette his hart be.

Prophecy 3988: "Whene menne of crocus come frome the Earth and green manne frome the Sky, yette ken not why, and Pluto's barres quitte the Light-ning castels, and sunken lands riseth, and Levia-than runneth free, and Brazil is vert, then Three cometh together and Four arise, upon iron horses ride; I tell you the ende draweth nigh."

Prophecy 3989: "He is not what he says he is."

Prophecy 4009: "Where the Hogg's back ends the young beast will take the world and Adam's line will end in fire and darkness."

Prophecy 4019: "When Orient's Chariot Inverted be a man with bruises up thy bed, aching his head for willow fine."

Prophecy 4020: "Let the wheel of fate turne, let harts enjoin, there are othere fyres than mine; when the whirl wynd whirls, reach oute one to another."

Prophecy 5001: "When the skies are crimson seen, then ye both must stand between the world of life and the world of war, where the iron bird lands no more."

Prophecy 5004: "When alle is sayed and all is done, ye must choose your faces wisely, for soon enouff, ye will be playing with fyre."

and that’s all of them I believe so let’s hop into the images I could find

Artworks

Starting out on the very first page we have this

Now I could not find an exact reference to this (I know starting out strong just stay with me) but between the examples I could find plus the four wings surrounding the head I would say this is depicting a Cherubim

This next one is from the actual book itself,

This is the piece, Saint John Devouring the Book by Albrecht Dürer (1498) which was published alongside 15 other woodcut illustrations in his book, Apocalypse, all covering events in Revelations

Now we are moving into pieces that we see in the little montage moments so the images are a little less clear

This piece, Saint Michael Slaying the Dragon, is by Martin Schongauger done sometime between 1480-1490

The next piece was actually a two for one which made my job a little easier and let this post only be one part *curse you image limit*

Chariot Vision, which is by Matthäus Merian depicting Ezekiel’s vision in Ezekiel 1:5 (I couldn’t find when it was made -and now that I’m really looking at it the wheels are a little different but I’m confident enough to say it’s from the same story so the point will still stands)

and finally we have this one

With help from @gallup24 and some image manipulation finally found this piece, The Minde bould hare a fixed Eye On Objects, that are plac’d on High.

I believe to be published first along side other emblems by Gabrielis Rollenhagii in 1613 it was reprinted in 1635 with added hymns by George Wither in his emblem book

the hymn reads

A Heart, which bore the figure of an Eye

Wide open to the Sunne; by fome, was us’d,

When in an Emblem, they would fignifie

A Minde, which on Celeftiall Matters mus’d :

Implying, by this fame, that there is nought

Which in this lower Orbe, our Eyes can fee,

So fit an Object for manly thought,

As thofe things, which in Heav’n above us be.

God, gave Mankinde (above all other Creatures)

A lovely Forme, and upward-looking Eye,

(Among the reft of his peculiar Featares)

That he might lift his Countenance on high:

And (having view'd the Beauty, which appeares

Within the outward Sights circumference)

That he might elevate above the Sphares,

The piercing Eye, of his tatelligence,

Then, higher, and fill higher ftrive to raife

His Contemplations Eyes, till they alcend

To gaine a glimple of thofe eternall Rayes,

To which all undepraved Spirits rend.

For, 'tis the proper nature of the Minde

(Till fehly Thoughts corrupt it) to delpile

Thole Lufts whereto the Rody ftands inclin'd ;

And labour alwayes, upmard to arife.

Some, theretore, thought thofe Goblins which appeare

To haunt old Graves and Tombes, are Soules of fuch,

Who to thefe loathfome places doomed were,

Becaule, they doted on the Fleh too much.

But, ture weare, well-minded Men thall god

To live above, when others bide below.

(also if you want a really good breakdown of the publishers of, The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, check out the one @i-only-ever-asked-questions posted one here)

————————————————————————

so yeah that’s all I could find and like I said this is mainly just a reference post

and yes I am aware that one very obvious piece is missing that seems to be made just for this book. I ran out of images so i’ll post it in a rb

[yronnia]

[Edit: check my reblog too, screenshots from the book kindly provided by spookydazechaos]

Agnesses Nyce and not so accurate prophecies with screenshots.

The full list below.

Some are unreadable (to me), so I inserted some X-es instead, where necessary. Interesting is, that Orient Chariot is mentioned twice, in prophecy nr. 3819 anf 4019.

Prophecy nr. 3012 is only one I cant allocate, dont tell me its about Aziraphale and Crowley, when Agness adressed Aziraphale by "angel" "thyf " and "principalitee", whats the bit about the dragons? Because they have wings?

1111- An the Great Hound sharl come

and the Two Powers sharl watch in V

Goeth Where is, Where they

Notte, and he sharl name it, True to l

and Hell sharl flee it

2213- I tell ye thyf, and I charge

ye with my wordes. Four shalle

ryde and Four shalle alfo ryde,

and Three sharl ryde the Skye

as twixt and Wonne shal ryde in

flames, and theyr shall be no stopping

themme, not fish, nor rayne nor rode, neirher

Deville nor Angel. And ye shalle be theyr also

2214- In December 1980 an Apple will arise no

man can eat. Invest thy money in Master Jobbes

thinking machine and good fortune

will tend thy days.

2315- Sumsay It cometh in Londo xxx or

New Yorke, butte they be Wronge, f xxx is

Taddes fild, Stronge inne hys powr, h xxxxke

a knight inee the fief, he divideth the xxx

4 partes, he bringeth the storme.

3001- Behinde the Eagles Neste a grate Ash hath fallen.

? 3007- Brings forth

For the devil lucks in plain sight.

Under an arc of pale moonlight.

3008- When that the angel readeth these

word of mine, in his shoppe of other mmennes

books, then the final days are certes upon us. Open

thyne eyes to understand. Open thyne eyes and rede

I do say, foolish principalitee, for thy cocoa doth

grow cold

3009- Seven, who hold the Scepther shall be killed,

xxx shall become a saint.

3011- xxThe?

and churces be laid open

opressed shall prevail, and oppose the cruen

foreginers. For a Boar of Cornwall shall give his

assistance and trample their necks under his feet

3012- A shower of blood shall rain and a ragging

famine shall afflict mankind. When dhese things

happen, the Red Dragon shall grieve, but when his

fatigue is over, he shall recover his strength. Then

shall misfortunes hasten upon the White Dragon,

and the buildings of his gardens be pulled down.

3017- I see Four Riding, bringing the Ende, and

the Angells of Hell ride with them, And Three sharl

Rise. And Four and Four Together be Four, and the

Dark Angel sharl Own Defeat, Yette the Manne

sharl claim his Own.

3477- Lette the wheel of Fate turne, let harts

en- join, there are othere Fyres than mine, when

the wynd blowethe the blos- soms, reach oute one

to anothere, for the calm cometh when Redde and

Whyte and BLacke and Pale approache to Pear is

Our Professioune.

3819- When Orients chariot

inverted be, four wheles in the

skye, a man with bruises be upon

Youre Bedde, achinge his head

for willowfine, a manne who

resterh with a pyn yette his

hart be.

3988- Whene menne of crocus come frome the

Earth and green manne frome thee Sky, yette ken

not why, and Plutos barres quitte the light- ning

castels, and sunken landes riseth, and Levia- than

runneth free, and Brazil is vert, then Three cometh

together and Four arise, upon iron horses ride, I tell

you the ende draweth nigh.

3989- He is not what he says he is

4009- Where the Hoggs back end the young

beast will take the world and Adams line will end

in fire and darkness.

4019- When Orients chariot inverted be a

man with bruises up thy bed, aching his head for

willow fine

4020- Let the wheel of fate turne, let harts

enjoin, there are other fyres than myne, when the

whirl wynd whirls, reach oute one to another.

5001- When the skies are xxxx, then ye

both must stand between the world and life and the

world of wae, where the iron bird lands no more

5004- When alle is fayed and all is done, ye

must choofe your faces wisely, for soon enouff

ye will be playing with fyre

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ignore this if you want but please write a ryan gosling!Ken x Shy!human!Reader? Like I can’t stop thinking about Ken being human and a dad of a infant son who’s a mommy boy and Ken brings them to Barbie land, just hardcore fluff? Like everyone is happy to see the reader again but also happy to see a baby. So cute shy reader brings her infant son to girls night. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

"You think they'll like him?"

"They'll love him, [y/n]. I'm sure of it." Ken popped his head out of the camper van's window, smiling as he saw you sitting outside on the lawn chair.

You weren't the only people making a trip back to Barbieland, however, as you were currently cradling your pride and joy:

It was your infant son, who had the same hair color as you, and the same bright blue eyes as his father.

Yes, the baby was also Ken's.

After he decided to become human with your help (and a whole lot of patience), he was finally at a place where he felt genuinely happy with his life and purpose:

He started working for Mattel to advocate for the Ken dolls and skyrocket their sales, got married to you--his owner who finalized his decision to leave all his dollness behind, and settled down in a house that you could both call your own.

Despite all of these great happenings, however, he did feel like something else was missing.

Something that he desperately wanted to experience as a man.

And no, it had nothing to do with horse or beach or patriarchy.

It was fatherhood.

During his second time in the Real World, he's seen families bonding with their kids in movies, books, and even just walking down the street.

He was a bit embarrassed about obsessing over horses and ignoring the beauty of humanity happening all around him back then.

But now? He got to truly appreciate it.

While Ken didn't explicitly tell you that he wanted to know what it's like to raise a family, you could just tell from his lingering stares and smiles that he would give anything to experience that.

So you had some conversations about it, and you were absolutely happy to have a kid with him.

Yet after coming home from the clinic with the confirmation that you were pregnant, he became utterly terrified, his mind cluttered with the "what-ifs"?

He knew that he messed up a lot as Barbie's handcrafted boyfriend, and even as a human...that guilt followed him back to the Real World. He may have left behind the pastels and plastics, but these overwhelming emotions stuck to him like super glue.

He's just so, so afraid of screwing up again. Or that his expectations of fatherhood will fall short and the kid will hate him if they knew what he-

But you reassured Ken he was going to be a great father; him worrying about raising them right before they're even born just shows it.

Those nerves finally went away the moment he got to hold his son in the delivery room, sobbing after he realized he helped create this beautiful life with you.

Something that he, a dumb blond plastic doll who only knew how to do beach, never thought he'd get to experience.

Like Barbie, he finally got to be the creator...rather than the created.

Now he couldn't wait to revisit Barbieland with you and introduce his child to everyone there.

You've taken a trip there a few times before, so you were well aware of the long rollerblade-snowmobile-camper van-tandem bike-rocketship-speedboat-convertible journey ahead.

This time however, you were reasonably nervous, given you now had one extra fragile passenger to take care of.

Luckily, it's been a rather smooth trip so far, and your son didn't make a single fuss.

Not in the freezing cold during your snowmobile ride...and not even when a mama bear was currently emerging from the surrounding woods, approaching you both. You still held him closely, staying calm and cool, knowing these animals wouldn't hurt you.

Ken, on the other hand, damn near jumped out the window to drive the scary beast away--his newly-acquired dad instincts kicking into maximum overdrive.

But you took notice and hushed him, before turning back to the bear who was now sniffing you and your son with curiosity. You got to pet her on the head, and eventually she huffed and left you two alone.

"See?" You glanced back at your husband, amused that his torso was now halfway out the window. "Seriously, Ken? There's a door y'know."

"W-Well...had to make sure my family is safe! But I see you got it under control...g-good job, sweetie!" He forced a smile, although he was clearly struggling.

"....are you stuck?"

"......maybe."

'Great...now I'm dealing with two children.' Shaking your head, you gently set your baby in the carrier, before going to help Ken.

Yeah, this trip was going to be longer than you thought.

And not because of the kid.

................

"Barbies! Kens! Allan! We're back!"

"Oh my god!"

"Everybody STOP what you're doing!! It's [y/n] and Ken!!"

"Hi [y/n]!!"

"Hi Ken!!"

"Welcome back guys!!"

"Ken, dude!!!"

"[Y/n]! How you've been-??!"

"Guys, guys..at least let us get out first." After stepping out of the car, you looked around at the dolls surrounding you and Ken, seeing that Barbieland had gone through some changes since the last time you've seen it.

Nevertheless, it still felt warm and welcoming. Like your second home at this point.

With a bashful smile, you cradled your son closely to your chest, sighing as you wondered how you'll break the news to them. You were never one to make huge announcements...especially as everydoll here now had their eyes on you.

Weird Barbie--now in a uniform fitting for the garbage workers here--was quick to notice the bundle of blue you were holding, tilting her head. "What's that you got there, hun? A gift for us?"

"O-Oh! This is...um-"

"Oh it's not just any gift you can buy, Weird Barbie," Ken interjected, trying to hold back the tears in his eyes as he wrapped an arm around you, smiling from ear-to-ear. "We have brought to you the gift...of life!!"

There was a silence so loud, you could almost hear crickets chirping from the other world.

"...he means we had a baby boy." You bluntly stated, uncovering some of the blanket so they could see your child.

At first there were gasps, before there were cheers and smiles all around as they came closer to congratulate you both.

The Barbies cooed at how adorable your son looked, while Midge asked you if he just "popped" out of your belly like her Real World counterpart (to which you said no, of course).

Meanwhile, Ken struck up a conversation with the other Kens, who had their own praise to give and told him about all the cool jobs and other opportunities they've gotten since he left.

Of course, though, he was the first among them to be a dad besides Sugar Daddy Ken.

"But enough about us, and more about your son..." Tourist Ken spoke up, leaning forward. "Tell me, is he shaping up to be a "beach boy" like his dad?"

"Nope. He's...definitely a momma's boy." With a warm smile, Ken looked to you, seeing how his son clung to you while looking mesmerized by all the colorful and sparkly things in the cul-de-sac. "But he has my eyes and...that's enough for me."

A small chorus of "awh's" were heard, but before all the guys could start spouting about the sports they wanted to teach your son, he noticed you approaching them.

He stood right up, his focus on you. "Yes, my love?"

"Oh! So..I was wondering..uh--girls, c'mon." You huffed to the giggling Barbies behind you, shooing them away. Then you turned back to your husband. "Anyways, they um...invited me to girls' night tonight. And they're hoping our little guy can come along, too!"

"........."

"It'll just be for a few hours, I-I promise." You nervously added, suddenly remembering how he felt about that event. "I won't be-"

"I don't mind if you two go."

You blinked. "...you don't?"

"Nah, the Kens said they're having their own boys' night on the beach...which so-happens to be tonight as well!" His grin returned. "You have fun with the ladies. You'll know where I'll be."

Those words brought a huge smile to your own face, and you stepped forward to peck him on the lips. "Thanks, sweetheart. You boys have fun.." Your gaze flickered to the male dolls. "Try not to "beach-off" my husband while I'm gone."

After that, you turned and walked back to the Barbies, while Ken stared at the other Kens, noticing their bewildered expressions.

"What?"

"Th-That was an actual kiss."

"I've never seen one like that before!"

"H-How did you do that???"

"...it took practice, and don't forget..I'm human now, too." He chuckled, feeling a bit smug. "Humans kiss very differently."

[dranna]

Movie Night with Ken

AO3 / Commissions / Links /

Warnings: fluff, tiny tiny angst, hurt/comfort, feeling excluded, sobbing, not beta read

Summary: Ken planned a special night to watch a horsey movie with you. But when emotions starts bubbling up due to the film, he gets insecure.

a/n: I watched this movie for the first time a few days ago, and I fell in love with this silly. (I'm still practising writing and english is not my first language, so I apologise for mistakes) ((lowkey nervous posting this ))

tags my beloveds: @ken-dom

Moon was shining,

Stars were singing,

All the clouds went sleeping.

It was a quiet evening,

Notley as quiet as Los Angeles can be,

When Ken was busy arranging things,

He thought were important for his doings.

You two were in your home,

That Ken called Dojo Mojo.

You still remembered the time,

Caughting him red handed as he tried,

To hide something from your sight.

“What you got there dear?”

“I-it’s nothing..

It’s stupid really haha..”

— as he moved,

You saw a picture of—

“Horses?

Is that what you tried to hide from me? “

“ … yes.”

“ Oh you silly!

Come,

Tell me about them, everything.”

“ Really?!”

— And with that,

He started telling you all things,

About horse riding and races,

While you let him to put,

That beloved picture on the wall.

Right now as he was organising your Dojo,

He looked at the canvas many times,

As if collecting confidence from its sight.

He checked everything twice,

Because he wanted to make everything perfectly fine.

You were waiting patiently in the kitchen,

Stealing secret looks towards that working man.

After he found everything flawless,

He escorted you in your bedchamber,

The room was casted with a pinkish light,

Burning candles on the bedsides.

“My idea was.. I thought,

That we can watch,

The horse movie together,

Spirit: the Stallion of the Cinnamon!”

“It’s Cimarron”

— You laughed,

As you saw him all so excited.

Standing on tiptoes,

And taking a breath,

You kissed his little face,

That made his cheeks scarlety red.

“So it’s a sleepover?”

“Yes”

— with your reply,

He punched the air,

Jumping up and down in a merry way.

“Sublime!”

The two of you were on the bed,

That Ken insisted to be decorated with pinkness,

Buried under pillow forts and blankets,

Flushed together in sweetness.

There wasn’t a quiet minute,

Because Ken was talking horse facts,

And exhale his delights and surprises.

How you loved to see him that way,

Comfortable and talkative!

You could’ve listen to his silly little things for hours,

So you can see his adorable smile,

Accompanied with giggles,

Which were music in the night.

The movie was progressing,

So as the plot,

And you noticed a silence that covered you both,

As the end credits rolled you turned,

To see what’s wrong.

He sank deeper into the soft covers,

Turning away from you,

“Ken?”

— You called softly his name,

Resulting in him sinking even further away,

Something is wrong,

But what?

So you gently touched,

His carved shoulders.

If it wasn’t for the contract you would never know,

But shivers were running through,

His perfect beach-ready form.

“What’s the matter?

I thought the movie wasn’t that bad!”

“ He got free.. after all the h-hardships,

And ..found l-love!

Someone who ap-ppreciates him—“

A sudden sob cut him short,

Making him turn away even more,

“Ken, there is nothing wrong with crying.”

“You think so?”

“Yes I do”

—With that ,

You pulled him up from the deep Bluness,

Tugging him into a cosy embrace,

Filling his chest with warmness.

Silly silly Ken thought,

That showing “weakness”,

Would resort,

You realising he isn’t Kenough,

That he is a pathetic, unworthy doll,

And would be yet again left alone,

In the footsteps of yours.

Of course,

You would never leave this cutie pie behind,

You only want to see him shine.

With your arms around his hot body,

And the praises from your lips,

He finally started to relax and let,

His emotions to wash over his head,

With teary puppy eyes,

He started to tell headcanons of his mind.

With your blooming love,

You two were a peaceful island among,

The noisy streets and haste,

Where only the night sky,

Could hear Ken’s movie ideas.

He just talked and talked until he felt,

The magical visit of dreamland.

Sleep came and hid you both,

Under that horsy picture,

Which watched over you two.

[juliawanag]

Decided to rewatch NATLA to properly form my own takes that’s been running through my mind: (I’ll have both things that I like and dislike.) Part 1

SPOILERS!

I like it like a friend from a hundred years ago: 

First and foremost, NATLA predominantly consists of Asian American Pacific Islanders. Good for them for creating a version that is more in their lens and creativity. 

The Bendiiing. All of the elements, except for Earth, are 10/10. I really want it to be more solid, especially on AangvsBumi. It’s not that bad though, so much better than…well u know. I’ll give it an 8/10. 

I rewatched it with a Filipino dub and it’s good, 9/10. Aang VO was convincing as a kid, so either they’re a great actor or a great kid actor. The jokes (Sokka’s sarcasm) hits better on my mother tongue

"You're my friend. You will always be my friend.” 

Avatar state under the ocean 

The costume. The only one that I do agree with everyone else that lacks is Zuko’s scar. They should’ve put prosthetics on the eyebrow. 

Zuko’s hair? Hello? They did a great job. Even though my sister and I sing Ariana Grande song whenever we see them swaying. It’s an integral part of his story, and I loved that they keep it. There’s an East Asian culture that indicates that kind of haircut as a punishment. I remember my History teacher taught me this in eighth grade but I forgot which it was, my bad. And the actor’s such a champ for having that hair IRL. 

My favorite actor performances: Gordon (Aang) superb acting. Liz (Azula). Utkarsh (Bumi). Justin Wong (Chong/SecretTunnelguy) sounds exactly like the character. Made up for my delusional expectation that Dee Bradley Baker would be in this. Ken Leung (Zhao) pisses me off so much, and that means he’s doing a great job. Dallas (Zuko) & Iroh (Paul). DDK's(Ozai) a natural idk if that's acting /j

Was it established in the OG that Katara's intro is a folklore/legend? Because yeah, I don’t mind that it is considered that way in this version. 

AAAAA, the Lieutenant Jee younger casting makes so much sense now! The 41st division is chef kiss. Zuko cryiiiing when he was being banished!? Dallas Lui ate! 

THE HYBRID ANIMALS LOOOK SO GOOD. The ostrich horse blended well with whoever rides them. It doesn’t look CGI to me. MOMO HIS MOMONESS, MOMO OF THE MOMO DYNASTY 

Any Zuko fight choreography (MY FAVORITE CHOREO DALLAS LOOKS FIIIRE). And Aang’s too (Oh hey).

Aang the Hype Man

The fallen Fire Nation ship behind Zukka fighting. (It’s in my notes idk why but I guess background details are a win) 

Aang and Iroh's interactions

NATLA Zuko (I don’t think there’s much of a difference though with the OG lol, and it’s probably because the NATLA directors/producers like Zuko) 

Camera direction 

The Found Family Hug™, what Netflix can do well.

End scene of Episode 1, is very cinematic. I can’t believe TV shows have come this far. I hope employees are paid well. 

The End Theme remains the saaame, and is added with cinematic effects as well.

The folly/sound effect at the start of Episode 2. Why is this the only episode with that flair? 

Creating a grave for Gyatso.

How Ozai’s forced unity/being totalitarian is represented. Reminds me so much of our own government, it amuses me. I know it’s not directly referencing that though. It’s good that they show it early on I guess. With the Fire Nation culty greeting as well. 

On a lighter note: THE AIR SPHERE/BALL whatevah, yes! More of this goofiness. How about instead of being inspired by GOT, NATLA should be inspired by Stranger Things in terms of fantasy + childhood simplicity balanced by this trauma they're going through. (Well, ST lacks worldbuilding cause it’s just normal Earth but anyway) 

Kyoshi Takeoveeer. I hope Roku gets more screen time someday though. Pls pls pls. 

They incorporated the OG character theme songs! Of course! The ones I noticed right away are the FireNation Siblings’. So if you watched OG Avatar and you watched the scene where a mysterious girl joins the infiltration of the FN Royal Palace, you’ll know who she is. 

Sorry not sorry, Daddy Dae Kim is daddying. (Although he did catch me off guard in Zuko’s Agni Kai lmao.) The plot.

The Aang VS Zuko fight! A reference to the Fortune Teller fight. The team did so well. 

Zuko The Master of Disguise Major In Stealing Clothes. Full-time Avatar researcher. 

A fourth wall foreshadows Bumi’s OOC for this version. Jet’s "he’s not like he used to be" in line. I mean they did warn us. 

Another 4th wall is the line “Things shouldn’t be here” referring to the prototype Fire Nation balloon. 

Nice animation with the retelling of Two Lovers legend.

Lu Ten Funeral scene ate. That single teaaaar. I recommend everyone who loves the animation to watch this scene. To feel something idk AHAHAHAH. 

The actors were convincing when interacting with CGI animals. Specifically the badger moles. 

ZUKO AND IROH SCENES! 

CGI’s great did not waste any money 

In Katara’s flashback. She experienced this in her present form. And when she was so scared to go to the place where her mom was killed, she immediately changed back to her young self. Like, I wanted that so bad when I was watching the flashback. I thought, this shouldn’t be the present-day Katara. There should be a moment when she switches back to young again. And they did. 

Big Iroh moment that makes you cry as an adult when Gyatso was reassuring Aang that the genoc*de wasn’t his fault, and shouldn’t blame himself. Ahh, and the subtle sadness as they say goodbye. 

Random eye drawing from Zuko. He’s an artist AHAHAHAH. Okay, I forgot which episode. Sincerely, unreliable narrator. 

Showing Zuko's scar when Aang says "Do you even know that lives are at stake". 

Basically every scene/plot they 1 by 1 copy from the show. Did not disappoint (well, maybe because OG showrunners were there). Blue Spirit, Siege of the North. 

Zuko’s room. I love me some character bedrooms. He’s like a TV Sitcom character for that. 

Gaang teamwork scenes! It works and it's dynamic. 

Hahn as an honorable man? Yes. I don’t like love triangles so much. I like me some camaraderie. And Ian (Sokka) acted well for feeling included and seen as Hahn recognized his value as warrior/intel.��

Zutara fight scene.

Two points that I don’t know if I like but it makes me realize some stuff:

Meek Katara. I know there are specific plot points that Feisty Katara is needed. But she was always nurturing, so I think it makes sense she’s…meek? That Jet scene explains it. Maybe because I relate to her being a log AHAHAHAH. But yeah, uh, I do not, ironically, have strong feelings against that water down.

Angry Bumi. IDK how to feel about him tbh. I always think Bumi is…harsh like that. Almost scary. But yeah, he never blames Aang. Still, it doesn’t feel out of place here. He will return anyway so he’s not this one-dimensional character that is only angry at his friend (hopefully). I never thought of how Bumi would actually feel. And that he will be upset, and now it’s sad because that’s like your friend when you were twelve years old and you wonder where he’s been all this time, and if he’s alive. And..war..never made it any better to process that emotion. So, we got two versions, one that is cautious and then eventually welcomes him, and another who's completely angry and blames a literal kid that he does not know the pain (from the war). Too real, and I personally don’t mind. 

[novaae]

“I’m just Ken anywhere else I’d be a ten”

to me Bumi gives off the same loneliness as Ken. Like both are very attractive and fun, easy to get along with but they’re pushed aside in favor of the main character/s. Also both of them struggling with traditional male gender roles and then this feeling of imposter syndrome Bumi has because he’s a non bender and Ken has because he’s literally made of plastic.

But really I just want shirtless Bumi to have a dramatic musical number….😔 and ride (me) ahem I meant a horse.

Oh anon this is so true,,,,, you're so big brained....

Like of course I joke about him being Ken because of shipping, but your ask made me see that in a different light. I think he might actually cry when he sees Barbie and start saying that he's Kenough.

One thing I don't understand is how he fits into traditional male gender roles, because he seems to be rather uncaring of that. Masculinity to Bumi is just having a dick, the rest of his behaviour for him is just behaviour... I think... He's comfortable with knitting and pink and being a soft presence despite being in the navy and going through horrors.

Also yes anon I also want a shirtless Bumi to ride me. Please have this humble offering from me.

[ouatsqincorrect]

Idk if you’ve mentioned this previously but headcannons for the gang and Barbie movie?

kay, i love this question because yes, i absolutely do have headcanons about this family and the barbie movie

i did a poll once on who’s most likely to buy tickets and snow won, but personally, i think it’d be regina

there’s this tiny movie theater in storybrooke but she buys them tickets for a theater a couple towns over because this family will take any excuse to get out of town for a bit

and it immediately becomes an entire family outing. regina buys the tickets and then fully expects at least rumple and maybe zelena to turn them down, but surprisingly, everyone wants to go

regina is perhaps the most excited for it, even though she won’t say it out loud

emma’s excited too because she actually grew up in this world and she kind of likes when the family gets to experience something that she grew up knowing about (she never really played with barbie as a kid though)

they make a day of it. they get lunch at this little restaurant and then head to the theater and not one of them leaves upset with what they saw

emma, regina, belle, zelena, and snow all know what it’s like to be looked down upon simply for being a woman and it’s nice to see that kind of representation

plus, besides emma and henry, they all are from a different world so it’s cool to see this character who travels to “the land without magic” and end up finding a way to live and be happy there

on the ride home, david agrees that ken was right. once you realize the patriarchy isn’t about horses, you just lose interest

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I saw a review literally comparing the Barbie movie to nazi propaganda and saying that "Goebbels would have thought this movie is too on the nose". The Barbie movie. Because it has women in leading roles.

ah yes -

-where would we be without some making light of the atrocities of the NS-regime.

What boggles my mind (spoilers btw) is that the Barbie movie actually gives Ken a lot more sympathetic motives for acting the way he does than there are for misogyny in the Real World.

Ken actually comes from a gender-inversed world where 'the Kens' were side-lined and ignored (and I hate that I'm taking the character motivations of Ken from the Barbie movie seriously rn). The reason he's so excited about the patriarchy and immediately gets in over his head in that ideology is that he comes from a 'matriarchy' and seeing stuff like men as bankers, as CEOs, artists, businessmen, men as politicians, men as doctors (men riding horses..........) is something that is absolutely mind-blowing to him and it's actually understandable that he wants to have some of that.

The whole point is the deep personal impact it has on a child to grow up and learn about the world at large and learn the way power is constructed, that most politicians are men, that most famous historic figures are men etc etc etc. The reason why Ken is so excited about this is the same reason why Gloria and Sasha react the way they do to Barbie-land.

So it's deeply ironic that these people can see the 'evils' of Barbie land and sympathise with Ken and saying that the world that this movie has created is sexist and cruel - but cannot see how the world we live in is deeply sexist and cruel and alienating to girls and women.

Somehow, they manage to watch this movie and can go 'wow isn't it horrible that this world glorifies only having female leaders, only has women in roles of authority and influence, only has women as academics and doctors etc' - - - - but not realise the very obvious message (even with Greta Gerwig literally spelling out that it is a film about the experience of growing up as a girl) that...this very traumatising realisation of society is something that every girl has experienced since the beginning of time which makes them question their own intelligence and strength and value as a person.

I guess the part that they're not understanding is that Barbie-land isn't supposed to be good and ideal (which is also something that the movie spells out by saying that the Kens are just as well-established in Barbie-land as women are in the Real World and since the Real World isn't ideal, neither is Barbie-land) but seriously, it's mind-boggling how they can sympathise with Ken as a victim, but not understand the point it makes about what it means to grow up as a woman.

Anyway. It's the Barbie-movie and they're paying tickets just to get mad lmao

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

Snowbaz & Co Barbie Outfits

I was chatting with a few others in discord and we were all in agreement that Simon and Baz would absolutely be going to see Barbie, and would be bringing Mordelia, Petra, and Sophie along.

But what would they wear?

This is how I’ve spent my job hunting free time over the last few weeks.

Pink and nonsense below the cut.

Petra

I feel like she’s a total horse girl. She spends all of her time thinking about horses and drawing horses and riding horses both real and imaginary. When Baz tells her they’re going to dress up for the movie, Petra is ready with her pink accessories to be Equestrian Barbie. There are a few versions of this Barbie, but I wasn’t that into them. Petra can do better. I asked my horse-riding friends how they would Barbie-fy the standard English riding look, and they said pink accessories. So:

Let’s start with our base equestrian look. White top with pink lining on the collar/cuffs, beige or... whatever color that is for the breeches, and field boots (I hear this is what they are called?). Then we add the pink accessories! (Yes, that is a unicorn on the end of that crop). Hot pink breeches optional. I’m foregoing the riding coat because it’s summer and we just don’t need that extra layer, but it does really pull the look together, and I did find a suuuuuper cute pink one. 

I don’t know anything about riding, especially English riding, so don’t come at me if this doesn’t make any sense (I would like to know how you would Barbie-fy your own riding look, though!).

Links: Base Outfit (left), Gloves, Crop, Helmet Cover, Breeches

Sophie

Sophie heard “wear pink” and knew just the dress for the occasion. This was the dress she wore for her most recent birthday party (because they totally have super posh, fancy kid birthdays that require nice new dresses, right?). I’m pretty sure the twins are somewhere around 10 now, and this is definitely something I would have worn as a 10 year old.

My inspiration for Sophie’s look was the 2010 Modern Princess Barbie (left) and the 2011 Cut ‘N Style Princess (right).

Links: Barbie Modern Princess (left), Dress, Barbie Cut ‘N Style Princess (right)

Mordelia

I imagine Mordelia goes immediately to a retro look. She’s around 15 at this point and could totally be into makeup and fashion. I like to imagine she’s kind of artsy, and while she’s the perfect age to be in her emo phase (which I would love for her to have), I understand this is not a “thing” anymore among the youths. Either way, I like to think Mordelia is a bit of a chameleon and floats around to whatever style inspires her at the moment. (Am I projecting? Yes. Yes, I am.)

I think she would prefer to go for the original 1959 Barbie with the black and white swimsuit (bodysuit?) and sunglasses, but Baz insists on pink (or Simon... yeah... it’s definitely all Simon). So they compromise on a modern take on the Flower Power era of the 60s and 70s. The dress has the large-scale, brightly colored floral print and miniskirt of the 60s with the bell sleeves more common in the 70s. I used this 1969 P.J. Talking doll for inspiration.

She goes all-out on the makeup with the recently revived and renovated mod eye look (top left) and sort of clumped, thick bottom lashes (bottom right) (there’s got to be a better way to describe that....). And the knee-high white boots, of course. She’s really just an amalgamation of all the most fun trends of the 1960s.

Can you tell I had the most fun with this one?

Links: Mod-inspired Eye Makeup (top left), Dress, P.J. Talking doll, Boots, Classic Mod Eye Makeup (bottom right)

Simon

I had a really hard time with both of the boys. But here we are. As soon as I saw the 1982 Ken Fashion Jeans, I knew that was my inspiration for Simon. It just felt so right. Though I didn’t use the actual jeans part as the inspiration, I did go with another 80s jean staple: acid wash jeans. And imagine the light pink shirt is actually the most obnoxious hot pink you can think of. 

I like to think Simon already had both of these pieces in his closet. Baz will be ensuring those top buttons stay undone all day, as god intended.

Honorable mention to this shirt that also has a Simon-look-alike for a model (tbh I still think maybe I should pick that one every time I look at it) and this basically mesh shirt.

Links: Soft Pink Knit Shirt (top left), Hot Pink Polo (top right), Acid Wash Jeans, Ken Fashion Jeans doll

Baz

The one that I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for that I’m also sure is going to disappoint... Baz. Boy did I struggle with Baz. What would he wear? A suit? More casual? More costume-y? Ultimately I decided casual since everyone else would be casual, it’s summer, and, more importantly, I couldn’t find any hot pink floral suits for men.

Once I narrowed it down to casual, I still couldn’t decide. I didn’t even have a good reference for inspiration. Nothing felt quite Baz.  Honestly, I need help.

I think I’ve settled on this large-scale floral print on the top left that feels like a very Barbie-esque print, but it’s not quite right. It for sure needs to be a little less boxy and a little more tailored like the slightly more classic Bazzy floral shirts below. The cherry blossoms (top right) are pretty and pink, but not quite Barbie and not quite Baz. The bottom left seems the most... typical? Not a bad choice (aside from the fact that Baz absolutely would not shop at Target or Walmart where I found this shirt). The bottom right is a little more bold and has the hot pink, but... I’m just not sure. 

And of course we need a good “Baz, you’re wearing jeans!” moment. Why is there a picture of Trent Crimm/James Lance instead of jeans on the left, you ask? When is a photo of Trent Crimm not relevant to Baz? He’s wearing jeans, isn’t he?

Links: Beautiful James Lance in Jeans, Large-Print Floral Shirt (top center), Cherry Blossoms Shirt (top right), Small Floral Print Shirt (bottom center), Shiny and Bold Floral Print (bottom right)

What do you all think? Which top is the most Baz x Barbie? Has anyone else thought about what everyone would wear to see Barbie? I’d love to see!

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Barbie was so good?!? Fucking loved every minute of it, but special shout-out to some things...

(BARBIE SPOILERS below the cut)

This movie was so funny, I can't get over how fucking funny and camp it was, an actual masterpiece 11/10

"This movie is overly feminist and man-hating" - THIS MOVIE AIN'T FOR YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO WATCH THE SHITTY FLASH MOVIE THEN IF YOU'RE SO MAD

(haven't actually seen the flash, have seen a few clips on twitter and i'm glad i haven't, i don't want to, don't @ me)

I'll be honest, I had very few Barbie dolls growing up, I had a medium sized doll house that was not for Barbie-height-toys, and so most of my toys were random figurines collected over the years (shout-out to the McDonald's Happy Meal Narnia toys!), but I was still getting pumped at the beginning of this film when the narrator went into detail about how Barbie can have any career, any life she wants etc.

The attention to detail in Barbie-land, like the pools/sea are all flat and not actually wet, there’s no actual liquid in the cups when they drink, no water in the shower etc.

Look, I will fully admit that HOTD has fucked my brain and my taste in men up, and so I'm blaming that for me looking at Ryan Gosling as Ken and going "yes I would like to obliterate that twink" 🙈

There were a lot of kids in my screening who absolutely did NOT get the "beach you off" joke, meanwhile I was sitting there laughing embarrassingly loudly like an idiot

Why was Allan a whole ass mood, I'm sorry but he was so relatable, arguably the best character I fear-

I like that weird-Barbie is basically what a lot of girls go through with their Barbies at a certain age by cutting off their hair, drawing on them with pens, etc. Like that’s a mood, my sister and I used to wash our Barbies’ hair and draw fake tattoos on them with felt tips 💀

“Do you ever think about dying? 😃” took me out oh my fucking god 💀 I already had one existential crisis this weekend watching Oppenheimer, I don’t need another one from Barbie of all things 😭

The way Ken says “because we’re boyfriend girlfriend” has the most random place in my heart and I don’t know why lol

The sheer horror over Barbie having flat feet LMFAO

Weird-Barbie having the dog where you feed it pellets and then use the tail so it shits the pellets back out?!? Me and my sister were like "oh my fucking god" because we literally had that fucking toy lmfao

Weird-Barbie talking about Ken's smooth plastic bulge, I literally CHOKED-

Honestly just... Barbie entering the real world and being confused that men treat her like a sex object, being super uncomfortable, meanwhile Ken's like "they're looking at me appreciatively!"... oof

I nearly choked on my drink when Barbie loudly declared "I don't have a vagina and he doesn't have a penis!" like?!?!?

Barbie and Ken getting arrested not only once but TWICE... oh that's the content I'm living for lmao

I’m so so SO glad that the scene with Barbie and the elderly lady was kept in, I shed a tear because it was so beautiful and simple. When Barbie said that the lady was beautiful?!?! I’m a mess just thinking about it 😭❤️

Pleasantly surprised by the sheer amount of horsey content in this film like yes, that's 100% what the patriarchy should be, it should be about Kens riding horsies :D (I’m aware this is NOT the only thing that happened lmao I’m just saying that the world would be a better place with more horses)

America Ferrera is a fucking QUEEN and I adore her, I know HTTYD is over but she will always be MY Astrid, aka Chieftess Queen and Dragon-Rider

Not gonna lie, I felt Sasha’s little monologue where she rants about the unrealistic standards set by Barbie like I see both sides of what Barbie represents and how she can be viewed and I get it. Like on the one hand, hooray for girls growing up having a doll that can show them they can be Presidents, Nobel Piece winners, doctors etc., hooray for all the feminism to come from Barbie. But also you could argue that there’s unreal expectations in regards to Barbie’s body shape, and that when we girls grow up into women, we realise that the Real World is not as simple as what we dreamt of while playing with Barbies, that our world doesn’t revolve around having women in positions of power, that we still very much live in a society where women are viewed as being there solely for men, as home makers and wives and mothers, that we can have a certain amount of freedom and power but not too much etc.

Did I kind of guess "hey maybe it's not the daughter who has triggered Barbie's crisis, maybe it's the mother"? Yes, I guessed that early on but I still loved it anyway

I have no idea how Greta Gerwig got Mattel to agree to this script but holy shit, she must be magical or something

The spirit of Ruth Handler, aka THE creator of Barbie who named the doll after her daughter?!? Played by Rhea Perlman?!?!

Also I've only just learnt, after looking at Ruth Handler's wikipedia page, that Ken was named after her son?!?! Barbie and Ken are siblings?!?!

JOHN CENA AS MERMAN KEN?!?!

My sister was so delighted by the amount of Sylvester Stallone references in this film omg

DEPRESSION-BARBIE I WAS IN LITERAL FUCKING TEARS I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING, AND SHE WAS WATCHING BBC'S PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?!? WHILE EATING SWEETS?!? I CANT STOP CACKLING AND CRYING

Depression-Barbie also comes in other variations, including an anxiety one?!?! 🤣

I shit you not, I NEED America Ferrera to be nominated for supporting actress for all the awards because holy fUCK, her monologue?!?! That monologue?!?!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROB BRYDON AKA UNCLE BRYNN FROM GAVIN AND STACEY IS SUGAR DADDY KEN?!?!

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they have come.” - STOP I WAS ALREADY SOBBING

The Helen Mirren fourth wall break where she says that if the filmmakers wanted us to believe that Barbie was no longer pretty, "they shouldn't have cast Margot Robbie in this part", literally ICONIC

KEN’S FLUFFY TIE DYE HOODIE THING THAT SAYS “I AM KENOUGH” ASDFGHJKL I WANT ONE

Ridiculously glad that Ken and Barbie didn’t get together to be honest, yes I get it that Ken is designed as a boyfriend for Barbie but also it would have sucked to have this whole film play out as it did and then have them end up together 💀

The soundtrack of this film was IMMACULATE, 10/10, five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

There’s a definite message and commentary here but I’m too stupid and tired to write it out, so I’ll reblog it from the people who are smarter and more eloquent than me instead but oh my good this film was such an amazing piece of cinema

This isn't everything about the film obviously, there was a lot going on and I'm still mentally processing it so I might add more to the post later but wow, just… wow.

[ghostismybbygorl]

My sweet boy

Soap x ghost

Summary: soap takes ghost to meet his mom for the first time

Warnings: thick scottish writing, embarrassing baby photos, not proofread

"oh Mah bairn! How urr ye daein' ?!"

"Hey ma im doin well"

Johnny decided to give his mother a call to tell her the news

"Hae ye bin eating, did ye fin' a lover yit, whit's thair name, dae ye aye hae that ridiculous skin heid, och mah sweet laddie whin urr ye comin' hame we lassy you!"

"Maa!" Johnny said blushing over the phone

"Ive been fine, yes i have been eating, and yes i did find someone thats why i called you"

"Och guid! a'm sae happy youre in loue whit's thair name!? "

"His name is simon." He said nervously

Ever since johnny came out as bisexual he was always nervous about how his mom reacted to bringing home a man in his life. She was very traditional and wasn't very accepting of it but, she couldn't push her son away he was her pride and joy. She immediately warmed up to the fact that hey if her son is happy shes happy no matter what he does.

She ghasped

"A laddie! och mah loue howfur is he? does he treat ye weel? whin ur we meetin him? yer sisters lassy ye!"

"Ma!" He laughed "that why i called, simon and i have been stationed here for a few weeks and i thought it was time for you to meet him"

"Och joy mah loue! please hae him come ower fur tea ah wid loue tae catch up wi` him. Noo whit does he lik' 'n' whit doesn't he lik', is he allergic tae anythin' that a'm needin' tae ken aboot? "

"He'll eat just about anything. He's not a picky eater like me" he replied

"Thats guid peely-wally mak' a roast! ah cannae hauld yer horses tae see ye johnny! "

"Thats great ma! Hey i have to go the captains calling"

"I love you son! Forever and always"

"Love you too ma!"

Johnny hung up and walked to the debriefing room where price was going over the plans for the next mission. Once he dismissed everyone simon came over to him

"You ready to meet my family?" Johnny asked

Simon nodded "yeah im ready"

Jihnny gave him a peck over his clothed face

"Be ready by 3 and wear something nice no hoodies gitta make a good impression"

Simon rolled his eyes "roger"

Johnny was fidgeting like crazy running his hands through his hair staring at his outfit in the reflection worring about how he looked. He was wearing his kilt with a sweater over it. He liked to wear it around his family when he's visiting since it was such a special occasion to visit. He sighed fixing his hair trying to slick down his Mohawk from any fly aways. He didnt realize that simon had walked up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist

"You look great" he said kissing his cheek

Simon was wearing a black sweater with jeans and his docs. He wasnt wearing his mask revealing his scarred face.

"You ready love" simon asked

"Yeah i am" johhny replied getting into the car

The ride was quiet both boys where nervous. Simon worrying about his impression, johnny worrying about his family liking his new boyfriend.

Johnny drove down the driveway of his childhood home. His family had a cozy house with a large plot of land that had cows, chickens, and a few horses roaming around

"Looks like you where raised on a farm" simon quipped

"Oh Gang bile yer heid"

Simon chuckled grabbing soaps hand

"Everything's going to be alright don't worry" he said kissing his hand "love you"

Johnny parked the car letting out a sigh

"You ready?" He asked

"I am" simon replied giving him a kiss

As soon as johnny got out if the car he was tackled by his sister

"YOU STUPID PERSON WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND" she yelled in his chest

"Good to see you too grace" he said returning the hug

Grace looked over at simon. He awkwardly waved at her "hello" he walked over and was immediately pulled into a hug. Simon awkwardly hugged her back

“So you must be the famous Simon!” she said smiling “welcome home! C’mon in the rest of the family is waiting”

Simon and johnny walked into the house where they where greeted with a Australian shepherd. Her little nub of a tail wagon a million miles an hour She jumped onto Simon barking at him and licking his hands.

“LACEY GET DOWN!” johnny's mother walked into the room holding a toddler on her side. She had the same exact features as johnny bright blue eyes long curly black hair down to her waist.

“I'm so sorry Simon she gets too excited when she meets new people” she set down the toddler on the floor where he ran straight to johnny

“uncleJohn!” he yelled waddling over to him

“Hey fergus!” Johnny scooped him up and gave him raspberry on his cheek. “Wheres your mommy?” fergus pointed to a pregnant woman waddling over from the kitchen

“Johnny you're here!” she said giving a kiss on his forehead and grabbing fergus. “Hows my baby brother doing?” she looked over to Simon and smirked “and how's the new family member doing?”

Simon blushed ruffling the back of his hair emmiting a shy “good”

She stuck out her hand “ olivia, nice to meat you” Simon shook her hand “and I'm Ferguth” the toddler said reach his hand out

“Hello fergus” Simon said shaking his hand

“Wheres pa?” johnny asked looking around the living room

“You know exactly where he is” olivia said pointing to the love seat in the corner where a man with a pot belly slept he had a baseball cap covering his face while his long brown hair stuck out every which way he had a long beard which settled down to his chest.

Johnny walked over giving his thickest Scottish accent Simon had ever heard

“Weel if it isnae th' pie-eater his-sel captain angus mactavish” he slapped his stomach waking him up from his slumber

“Ye wee wanker ah wis juist haein a guid dream” he said holding up his fists “Git yer bahookie ower 'ere ye wee jobby ah cannae hae mah son beat me noo”

Johnny and his dad fake fought causing Fergus to run over to them and fake fight with them. Angus wailed in fake pain as his grandchild hit him

“Oh me chest the wee lad got a punch to em, gonna be strong like year uncle aren't ye” he said grabbing Fergus and tickling him causing a fit of giggles. Simon smiled at the sight of Johnny's family he was reminded of his late family having fun like this (aside from kicking out his father from his family). He missed the atmosphere of what he had back then.

Fergus got out of his grandfathers lap and ran to simon "uncle john is tis your boyfwend!?" Pointing at him "it is" he replied

Fergus held his hands up wanting Simon to pick him up "uppies!"

"Oh you want uppies yeah?" Simon grabbed him settling him on his hip. Fergus pointed at his scars "you got a boo boo!" He pointed out

"Fergus!" Johnnys mom scolded him "im sorry simon this little bugger still learning his manners"

"Its alright mrs.mactavish my nephew did the same thing"

"Oh please call me liz! Mrs. mactavish is my mother in law!" Angus let out a loud laugh

"Kin that wench rest in peace" he said sighing the cross

Fergus touched simons scar on his lip

"how did you get the boo boo?" He asked

"Well i fought some bad guys like your uncle and had a bad accident causing to get boo boos on my face" Fergus gasped "did the bad guys go bye bye?"

"Yeah they did gave em a good wave goodbye"

Fergus smiled "i can make the boo boo feel better ma always does dis when i get one" fergus kissed his hand and put it on simons lip "bye bye boo boo!"

"Well look at that its all better" simon smiled he set fergus down where he ran to liz

"G-ma i made uncle simons boo boo feel better" he smiled

“You did! Well look at you ferg gonna be a good doctor one day!” she ruffled his hair causing him to giggle.

Angus got up from his seat with a groan

"Right lets see this fine man my sons datin'" angus walked over to Simon assessing his features. He put a hand on his shoulder

"Promise to take care of me boy?" He asked

Simon nodded "already do, should see em on the field definitely wouldnt make it without me"

"Oi!" Johnny chimed in "not true at all"

Angus gave another belly laugh

"i like em you should keep em john!"

Johnny rolled his eyes

A tall man walked over and put his arm around olivia “nice to meet you Simon I'm matt” he shook his hand

“Nice to meet you” Simon replied

There was a ding that came to the kitched lizs face lit up.

"Oh! The roasts ready! Everyone grab a plate!"

The whole family gathered into the kitchen

"Wait g-ma! we gotta do grace!" Fergus yelled

"Oh thats right! Simon do you want to do grace?"

Simon awkwardly stood by johnny

"I uhm"

"Ma hes not... you know"

"Oh! Its alright simon we dont have to do it" liz looked at fergus "we can do grace in our heads tonight"

Fergus looked confused but agreeds

Everyone sat the table fergus sat next to simon om his right and johnny to the left of him, angus sat at the head of the table along with matt on the other side. Olivia sat next to him, liz was in the middle, and grace was next to her father.

"So anything new since i left?" Johnny said shoving food in his mouth.

"Johnathan scott wheres your manners!" Liz said smacking his hand across the table. Johnny face turned red and swallowed his food.

"Honestly he eats like he's been starved. Oh angus remember when he ate so fast he got the hiccups for the first time" liz sighed with a dreamy look

"oh when he was a wee lad he used to run around the house nude" angus chimed in

"Or when he got a crayon stuck in his nose" olivia chuckled

"Oi it was a triple dog dare you cant break those!" Johnny huffed. His face was as red as a tomato. Simon let out a chuckle.

"He still runs around in the nude" simon chimed in

Johnny hid his face from his family blushing scarlet now. His family laughing at the embarrassing stories they had of him

When dinner was done liz gasped

"I have something to show you simon!"

She jogged upstairs and came down holding a large book

"LITTLE JOHNNYS BABY PHOTOS!" She whispered excitedly she sat on the couch patting for him to sit next to her

Simon smiled sitting and looking at the photos

Johnny was cleaning up the dishes when he heard chuckling in the living room

"Oi what the-" johnny stopped in his tracks face turning more red than before "ma! Are those my baby photos?!"

Olivia and grace snickered

"Wait till he sees the nude photos" they said to each other laughing

Simon looked at the photos grinning johnny was a cute baby. He turned the pages and saw him in the bathtub full of soap

"Oh that was his first bubble bath" liz cooed "he used to love em!"

"He still does "simon replied causing liz to chuckled

"Aww olivia look it was when we took our first Christmas photo with johnny"

"Ohh and look that was olivia first meeting johnny whats a great memory"

"Oh look at that! His first football game!" Olivia pointed out

"Looks like the mowhawk was his style" simon chimed in

"Oh yes the wee lad decided to give himself a little haircut"

She pointed to a photo of him with a bandaid on his chin

"Thats where he got that scar of his! Olivia and him wouldn't stop fighting had to tie em to a chair to get them to get along."

"That ones cute" simon pointed to him holding a baby

"Oh that was the first day we brought home grace he was head over heels for her he vowed to protect her and fight off her boyfriends"

"And i still do!" Johnny chimed in sitting next to simon locking his hands together with his

"Remember this one!" Olivia pointed to johnny in a bathrobe giving a glare "he was so mad because i ised up all the hot water" she laughed "fuckin pissed me off" johnny replied

Liz flipped the page and laughed at the photo of him sleeping on the floor "oh wee lad loved sleeping in different places look at this one he fell alseep on the counter after a football game"

Simon chuckled and pulled out his phone showing a photo of soap sleeping on their couch. Liz and Olivia let out a loud laugh "oh he never changes" Olivia said slapping his shoulder

Simon held the book now looking through the pages until he stopped at a photo of him being the goalie and right next to the photo was him and olivia on his back

"Oh thats when our schools team won the finals! For both the boys and girls team!" Olivia pointed "johnny was such a good goalie he could have been pro if he didn't enlist in the royal marines"

"Yeah i would but i wouldnt have met simon" he squeeze simons hand simon set his head on his shoulder closing the picture book

"Thank you for the photos i really enjoyed them" simon handed the book to liz she patted his back "love its always a pleasure to embarrass my son!" She laughed setting the book on the coffee table.

The whole family decided to play a couple of games until it was time for simon and johnny to go back to the base. Johnny said goodbye to his mother giving her a kiss on the cheek and giving his dad a bear hug. He hugged both of his siters and gave blew his nephew a raspberry on his cheek. Simon shook angus' hand then he was pulled into a giant hug from him

"you take care of our son you hear?" He let go of simon with johnnys mom giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek

"The door is always open for the two of you!" She said waving goodbye to them as they walked back to the car.

Simon sat in the passenger seat while johnny drive

"So that was my family" he said

He looked over to see simon sulking

Johnny grabbed his hand giving it a kiss

Simon looked at him

"they remind me if my family"

"I know they do babe, but id have ti say they absolutely adore you and my family is your family"

Simon smiled "i love you"

"Love you too bonnie" johnny replied giving simons hand another kiss

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

charlie and the chocolate factory ticket winner headcannons!! (Apart from charlie)

(This is from the 2005 movie so their birthdays will be what age I think they were in 2005)

Augustus Gloop:

birthday: August 1st 1990

is German

has a younger sister called Andrea who is 6 years old

his father is a butcher and owns a butchers shop

Comes from a rich family but not as rich as verucas

he rarley eats vegetables

is babied by his mum

his mum does EVERYTHING for him - gets his clothes, cleans his room, wakes him up, gets him food, everything

hates listening to music

is very lazy

loves the colour red

Couldn’t sleep when he got the golden ticket - he was too excited to go to the factory

his mum is called gail and his dad is called otto

is so lazy he’s never hurt himself - yeah he’s grazed his knee as a kid and all that but he’s never sprained his ankle, stretched too hard or broke a bone

After the factory he was stained with chocolate so he has a slight tan now

when he found out Charlie won the factory he was so jealous and mad that he didn’t eat chocolate for a full 2 weeks

has a huge king sized bed

is homeschooled

Veruca Salt:

Birthday: November 2nd 1994

is British but has Swedish, Irish and Scottish heritage

goes on holiday 5 times a year

goes to a private school

teachers pet

only child

her father is in his 60s as her mother is in her late 20s

has seen the queen before

Can horse ride

has a massive bedroom, on-sweet bathroom, walk in closet, study room, eveything

everyone wants to be her friend at school

has a private doctor

her parents are called Ken and Maria

thinks her name is the best

has a pure gold necklace

has pure silver earrings

if she isn’t in the top set lesson at school she gets her dad to complain and move her up to the top set even if she’s dumb lol

was going to be named Kylie but her parents chose Veruca instead

has a personal hairstylist

claims she will never wear makeup when she’s older because she’s ‘perfect looking’

comes from a upper class family

after the factory her parents started saying no to her and she had a huge fit and smashed most things in the house - her parents went back to giving her anything she wants after that

loves the film ‘pretty woman’

never uses slang - always uses complicated words and instead of saying ‘yeah’ she’ll say ‘yes’

Violet Beauregarde:

Birthday - March 3rd 1993

Is American but has Italian heritage

Has a twin sister named Lilla

her parents are divorced - her sister lives with her dad, and she lives with her mom

her mum is a Karen lol

can box

is popular in school

even though she chews gum every single second of every single day she has perfect teeth - people think she has fake teeth

is allowed to swear

Loves nirvana

her mum is called Shona and her dad is called Liam

Is a pure blonde

Her mum tried flirting with mr Wonka to try and increase violets chances of winning

Thought she was gonna win

gets called blueberry girl at school after the factory

after the factory she tried to use makeup and other things to make her not blue but nothing worked

her whole closet is blue/purple

has a pet chinchilla called Gumball

loves the amazing world of gumball

Always has packs of gum on her

likes watching law and order

rarely sees her sister

her and her sister are identical

mike teavee:

Birthday: October 4th 1992

Is American but has Spanish and polish heritage

has 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters called Liam (29), Gary (30), David (22) , Sarah (27) and Tina (25),

his siblings are quite a bit older than him, the one that is the second youngest is 10 years older than him

his Parents had kids in their 20s, then had Mike quite late on

hes the baby of his family and RAGES when they baby him

has a niece who is the same age as him

has atleast one day off of school a week because he wants to play video games and if his parents try to get him to go to school he breaks things

one broke a window with a vase lol

his parents are called Norman and Clara

likes tomb raider, call of duty, watch dogs, hitman, James Bond, ect

loves heavy metal music

can do a metal scream and it terrifies his parents when he does it

his sleep schedule is he falls asleep at 4am and wakes up at 9am

Loves energy drinks

bites his fingernails when he’s nervous

hates people who call him micheal (his real name)

wants to be a twitch streamer lol

after the factory he found a way to shrink back to his regular size

when he got home from the factory and looked in the mirror he passed out because he thought he looked fresky

thinks Veruca is a brat but she’s pretty lol

has a very short attention span

likes race car driving

hates football

wishes he was born on halloween

has a whole bookshelf full of video games

[renee-writer]

Letters Chapter 5

AO3

She carries them into the great room where she has a folding table and chairs set up. Sitting in one, she lays the letters out. Opening one, she sees it is addressed to,

 

 

“Our coming bairn,

 

My darling, this is yer da. I dinna ken whether ye be a lass or a lad. It matters not. Yer mama assumes I wish for a lad. I dinna think she believes me when I say it doesn’t matter. Truly whatever God gifts us with is fine with me.

I cannae wait to see ye. To see yer mama in ye. She is beautiful. I ken ye will be as well. I cannae wait to take ye riding. A horse man, or lass, ye shall be.

Yer mama believes it will be anytime, yer coming. She is sae brave. Yer da has delivered many a horse and coo. To see a woman be delivered of a child, weel, yer da is glad that I dinna have to witness such. “

 

The next on the pile is wrinkled when she removes it. From long dried tears, she sees as she reads the opening line.

 

“Ye were delivered still, my daughter. Yer Auntie Jenny named ye Faith. Beautiful, as I expected ye to be, fair of skin with my red hair and yer mama ‘s curls. Yer mama…”  There is a break here where a swatch of ink takes the center of the page, “yer mama wished for Julia, after her own mama. We thought it better to wait until a living child. Nae it matters.” Another break. She reads his breaking and shattered heart in the pauses, “They couldn’t stop the bleeding. They tried. Jenny was near covered with it when she came to tell me. I was holding ye, saying goodbye. She took ye and I rushed in, just in time.  She slipped away as I held her hand, begging her to stay.

Ye are both with the angels now. I am alone.”

 

Claire laid the missive aside, reaching for the tissues. She wept for this heartbroken man. This Jamie who feels as near as his writing. After a few minutes, she picks up another one. It is next in the chronological order he wrote them.

 

“My dearest Claire,

 

We laid ye to rest today. Faith lays cradled in your arms. I dinna ken how to go on from here. The life we planned is under the dirt and I only go on out of habit. How am I to keep moving forward without ye? How could death part us sae soon?

I railed against the Almighty. How can His will be thus? I shall find ye again. If it takes all of eternity, I shall find ye! I must.”

 

“What type of love is this?” she asks the room.

 

Shaking, she slides the next one out.

 

“My dearest Claire,

 

Hope! I have hope. How ye could have kept such a thing from me, I cannae fathom. Going through yer things, I found the letter ye penned to me. I understand so much more now. How ye ken’ d what ye did. I would have believed ye. There was always a trust between us. All ye had to do is tell me. Ah, ye have, in ye own way.

As ye made it here once, I ken ye can again. I shall be waiting. As always, yer faithful husband.”

 

“What the hell?” Claire mumbles to herself. Inside the envelope, that the last letter had been in, there is another.  Opening it, she sees, to her shock, her own handwriting. It is recognizable even with the different writing instruments used. Heart pounding, she reads it.

 

“My dearest Jamie,

 

I have a confession. I am not who I seem to be. Yes, I am your wife and shall always be. But, I am more. I am a time traveler. I was born in the year 1915. While in Scotland on holiday, I explored a strange set of standing stones. A touch of the largest transferred me to your time. I woke up disoriented in a time different from my own. Then Murtagh found me. My clothing, that you thought a shift, was actually a dress from my time.

I should have told you straight away but, I never expected to fall so deeply in love with you. I pray soon I get the courage to share this with you. You deserve the truth.

Your love,

Claire.”

 

She sits holding the letter as the clock chimes the hour. It brings her back to herself.  Shaking her head in a futile effort to clear it, she struggles to make sense of it all.