#yes there is a long history of he/him and they/them lesbians too

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

I just have to wax poetic about the beauty of gentlebeard, particularly why I, as an autistic person, love them so much and project onto them so badly

This might get a little long, so a read more will do

But first off, some fun brief history lesson on autistic relationships in media :). Which sucks most of the time :)))

Ok I'm really not gonna get too much into it cause most of its the same; white autistic man/white allistic woman (The Good Doctor, Adam, etc). There have been steps in more diversity when it comes to this (Jane Wants a Boyfriend and Extraordinary Attorney Woo, a flip on this trope, and Heartbreak High has an actually autistic actress as a main lesbian character) but some of these media aren't being continued anymore (Everything's Gonna Be Okay you will always be missed)

As of right now, the themes of these stories are usually about the disability, teaching allistics and just overall centers around autism itself, which considering how many of these projects aren't led by autistic people, it's shitty repetitive portrayals (The Good Doctor, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, As They See Us, blah blah blah blah blah)

But then you got these two pirates.

And let me explain how they pressed all the right buttons for me:

1. Both neurodivergent coded

Stede Bonnet my autistic icon. Just, the way he goes about social interactions and his knowledge about things is so reminiscent of trying to understand social rules and masking and special interests. There's even the little things like his love of books and needing things spelled out to him and when he commented on the textures of the privateer clothing.

And there's definitely a reason loads of people love to read Ed as adhd: his brain thinking of plans ahead in the future, feeling stuck in life, collection of items in a "messy" room, and that fancy French party man. His reading is less overt and more nuanced to me, but I still feel connected to him like I do with Stede, like how I would feel when watching a show about autistic people.

2. Their neurodivergent relationship

I've said before that most relationships we see are with an autistic/allistic. It falls under the "teaching" category and makes me feel like its trying to make a point, like yes, autistic people can have relationships like anyone else and they are lovable enough to neurotypicals!!!1!!1!

So imagine my absolute glee at how when Stede and Ed have their first proper conversation, it goes like

Ed seemingly seeking a sensory touch from the softness of a fabric

Stede instead of judging him on doing something "weird" asks if he enjoys it

And because they find they both enjoy this certain thing

Stede shows him his safe space to Ed full of this same kind of thing Ed liked

Ed then expresses his personal feelings to Stede

And gets no judgment, in fact a show of agreement and sympathy

And then they do something that's like an inside joke that's really only funny to them

And then Ed encourages Stede to be confident by supporting him

This is thee meet-cute, nothing can ever top this cute and honest beginning of a medium-burn relationship, change my mind

Most of what autistics want more than anything, romantic or otherwise, is to feel listened to and accepted. And we get this almost immediately, with BOTH Stede and Ed feeling appreciated!!!!

3. No neurodivergent preaching

When autistic love is shown in media, it's usually never the focal point. The main thing is about the person having the disability - even shows I love and praise for its relationship representation like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Everything's Gonna Be Okay do the same thing

Ofmd acknowledges issues existing like colonialism, racism and homophobia, yet this show is not about that. The characters are allowed to exist and be themselves and happy without having this fact shoved down their throat every waking second and the villains who keep up the systemic issues get their comeuppance, usually by that person they were hurting.

And I here what you're saying: that neurodivergency is not canon and so doesn't have the direct acknowledgement like the other issues I mentioned... well.

We don't see sexism in ofmd, yet we all understand how Mary wouldn't be able to make the same choices Stede could on leaving their family. We know that the French party were entertained by Ed, not just cause of his stories as Jeff The Accountant.

Stede was bullied in his childhood by his father and classmates for not fitting in, for standing out - yes this obviously reads as homophobia, but many neurodivergents can relate to feeling exactly like this, some i bet almost being in the same situation as Stede is when it comes to things like crying easily and liking to pick flowers

So a moment like Stede playing Stark Revelations, where he gets to make fun of people that were like those in his old life AND being able to defend his one and only friend? That felt pretty damn good to watch myself.

Even without the romance, you still have a show where the two main characters are encouraged to be themselves in every way. This is a far cry from other media where even though they aren't explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, they are generally unlikeable and/or characters around them scold and pressure them to change into something "better" (Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, etc etc). Doesn't change the fact they are read as neurodivergent and thus seen as harmful representation for people who are "similar" to them irl

Meanwhile, Ed and Stede love each other because of who the other is, no narrative about them having to fall in love with the other despite their differences... but because they found something in each other they always wanted to find, and to feel loved in return

And the narrative doesn't preach to you or tries to fix them. Instead it says "this is our main character who happens to be white and middle aged, and this is his love interest who happens to be middle-aged and a Māori man, and this is their love story". And it is so goddamn neurodivergent

[rubykgrant]

Because of REASONS, I remembered my Scooby-Doo character designs from a few years ago. I decided to touch-up the picture a bit and fix a few things. So, here they are again! If I were to totally make my own “dream version” of Scooby-Doo, this isn’t exactly the “style” I’d prefer them in (something a little closer to the classic), this is just a cute and simple style I use when I want to get an idea for basic body-types, hair, and outfits. As for the story, I’d toss together all my favorite things from every previous version, but the basic plot would go like this; the kids all originally met when they were very little, trick-or-treating on Halloween, and solving the mystery of some mean older kids who were stealing candy. During middle school, they wound up moving away from each other for various reasons... but all reunited in high school! They had a fairly normal time, solving mundane mysteries and such. After graduation, they decide to take a road trip together, and THAT is when they truly become Mystery Inc. A mixture of the old-school plots, some new adventures, and yes- sometimes the spooky things ARE real! I’d honestly aim for it to be PG-13, it doesn’t need to be turbo-edgey and grim-dark, but they can say swears. There would one F-bomb in the whole show, and Freddy gets to say it~

(some character notes below)

I drew Velma first because I’ve always wanted to update her outfit as sort of a sleeveless sweater-dress kind of thing. I gave her red shorts instead of a skirt, and I think it somehow made her look more sporty but still cute. Some orange high-tops sort of bring it together. I wanted her hair to have something like a flapper-girl style, and I kept classic style square glasses because she works them (and still can’t see without them). Velma is easily the most adorable. She’s still the “smart one”, but she doesn’t know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING; history, science and chemistry, literature, and math are what she excels at. She also has a near photographic memory, and although she understands a lot about technology (in terms of software/programming/coding), she isn’t too great with machines. Some background for her; Velma is mixed Japanese/Mexican and Jewish. She’s also trans and a lesbian~

I knew I wanted Daphne to look really fashionable, but also in something simple and comfortable. I gave her a purple halter top/skirt with a leg-cut on one side, and loose lavender jeans. She almost never has pants in her main outfit, but I think it gives her a fun nostalgic look of the 60s and 70s. I moved her green scarf up to her hair, and gave her matching green earrings. I like the idea that because she’s a little clumsy (Danger-Prone-Daphne) she’s taken lots of athletic lessons to try and make up for it; she’s done ballet, gymnastics, Karate, boxing, archery, played different sports like soccer/basketball/baseball/tennis, swimming lessons, and equestrian classes. Basically, when she’s in “alert-mode”, she could probably handle just about anything… but when she’s not paying attention she tends to trip (though, she’s kinda of backwards-lucky by stumbling into clues this way). Daphne can speak several languages fluently, she’s got perfect pitch, is super sensitive to textures so she can recognize any material, and has a gift for being very charming and intuitive. Some background for her; her dad is Iranian, and her mom is Scottish. She’s also bi~

I always wanted to give Fred a blue jacket. I just think it suits him. He’s also got light-blue jeans, and a white long-sleeve shirt (with a red collar to replace the ascot haha). He’s got a little bit of a farm-boy vibe (hence the belt and work boots). He’s all about cars and other machines, a real  Mr. Fix-It, and he loves taking stuff apart to see how it works. As a result he’s pretty good at his other hobby besides mechanics… TRAPS. Fred also practices being an escape artist, so if he ever gets caught he’ll be able to get out of almost anything. Although he’s certainly not “stupid”, he has a tendency to be a bit oblivious and a little too headstrong. He’s got a heart if gold though, and everybody who knows him would agree that he’s endlessly kind. Some background for him; Fred’s parents went missing around when he younger, and so he’s had a few different foster families. He doesn’t get reunited with his folks until much later (learning more about his family, he finds out he’s mixed Italian/Norwegian). He’s also bi~

Shaggy doesn’t need much changing (if I altered too much, he just wouldn’t look like Shaggy anymore). I have him a white long-sleeved shirt under his classic green one, changed his brown pants into cargoes (all loose fitting, Shaggy likes it baggy), and gave him some black sneakers. He’s naturally still got long hair and a scruffy chin (plus some sideburns). Even though he’s a well known scardey-cat, Shaggy has a deep love for horror movies and fictional spooky stuff doesn’t seem to bother him. His various fears and phobias have actually made him a safety expert; not only does he usually carry a back-pack with a fully stocked first aid kit, he knows how rescue somebody who is drowning, all the safety procedures for different vehicles/aircraft, CPR, and survival tactics (he actually knows more medical facts than Velma). Despite being so thin and lanky, he is almost always eating, sometimes thinking with his stomach rather than his head. He’s always happy to share though, and he even cooks great meals for his friends (mindful of allergies and what-not). Some background for him; he’s Canadian First Nations and Jewish on his mother’s side. He’s also trans, bi and ace~

Scooby was maybe the most difficult to draw… he’s so iconic, and I wasn’t sure how to draw him in this style but still make him look like Scooby. I’m not sure if I succeeded, but I think the result isn’t too bad. Shaggy found Scoob as a pup, and they have been best friends ever since. Like Shaggy, Scooby loves to eat and hates to be afraid, but he’s only a coward when something threatens him; if a monster or villain is going to hurt one of his friends, Scooby always comes to their defense. People forget that he’s actually a very big strong dog because he’s usually so gentle and silly. Scoob knows all sorts of trick from the typical “sit/roll-over/shake” to more impressive stunts. Although he loves attention and praise, the best way to get him to do anything is to bribe him with a Scooby Snack! He’s a very smart animal, and the fact that he can communicate when he smells or hears something suspicious that people might miss is a real asset for solving mysteries. Like any good dog, Scooby is loyal and lovable~

[honorarycassowary]

I really enjoyed Marlene and Reese’s conversation in the annual, and I think it highlighted some key things about each of their relationships with Marc and the themes of the MacKay run writ large. However, I feel like I reacted to this conversation quite differently than many other people, both in terms of sympathy towards Marlene and in terms of what I got out of their conversation. So of course I wrote a long-ass analysis post.

MARLENE: Are you in love with him, Reese?

REESE: Pfft, please. He’s hardly my type.

I am actually really glad that someone in-universe asked Reese this. I don’t think this concern is substantiated at all, but we, the readers, are viewing this story very differently than it would be viewed by the people participating in it. We can see the characters at all times; we can look into Marc Spector’s head and know what he is hiding; we have knowledge of all past runs, we have access to Jed MacKay’s Twitter. In short, we have all the information available to recognize that Marc and Reese aren’t romantically involved or interested in romance - they are friends! Marc helped Reese adjust to her new life as a vampire, and she is helping him be a superhero and maintain his mental health, and through this they have recognized parallels in their trauma and that they just plain get along.

But. In-universe, stripped of our knowledge and the context that we know and understand through our familiarity with the characters and access to their private minds and lives, what we have is a ~18 year old girl who is newly estranged from her parents who has now moved in with a ~40 year man with a history of violence. With no other information, that is a pretty sketchy situation.

Now, I absolutely do not think Marlene is concerned about Marc being in love with Reese, wanting a relationship with Reese, or doing anything to harm Reese physically or verbally. Marlene knows Marc, and she knows he wouldn’t. In this scene, Marlene isn’t jealous or trying to make the conversation uncomfortable; she is trying to suss out Reese’s reasons for being here. Reese isn’t in love with Marc. Reese doesn’t think of Marc as her dad. Reese views them as friends. She is “in his corner” but “not blindly beholden to him”. An equal.

(Also, “he’s hardly my type”? Lesbian Reese agenda 2k22.)

REESE: But he needs someone in his corner. All his old super hero pals dropped him, except for that snitch Tigra. He needs someone who’s not his doctor, who’s not blindly beholden to him, who’s not mixed up in all his moon-god crap.

Reese is right that Marc needs someone to support him. Marc does need someone who isn’t his doctor, or a yes-man, or into Khonshu. But hoo boy, “that snitch Tigra” is a waving red flag. Reese says way back in issue 3 that “they say all these things about you. [..] About what you used to do to people,” and Marc affirms that, but does Reese get it?

Tigra is watching Marc for a reason, and Marc knows that and is okay with it, and it doesn’t mean Tigra and Marc don’t care about each other. Framing this as “snitching” - something that’s come up in the main run, too - to me indicates a with-us-or-against-us mindset. To Reese, Marc is the guy who saved her and who she’s trying to help save in return. She hasn’t integrated that guy with the “bad person who did bad things,” as Marc puts it to Dr. Sterman. (To Marc, he’s the bad person, and not the guy who saved Reese.) But those are the same guy. The same Marc Spector, the same Moon Knight, the same Steven Grant and Jake Lockley alongside him.

MARLENE: You like him. I get it, he’s likable. Him, Jake, Steven, all of them. You want to protect him. I get that too - he’s got a lot of problems.

REESE: He saved me, saved lots of people --

MARLENE: That’s the thing. He saves people. Everyone except himself and the people closest to him.

This isn’t saying that Reese should leave. I’m not at all interested in her deciding Marc is bad or that he actually needs to be taken to task. Reese doesn’t need to sit down and watch a slideshow of Marc Spector’s Worst War Crimes and "learn” that that counts more than his dedication to keeping an abusive man away from his spouse. It is GOOD that she cares about who Marc is now more than anything else, and I think that aspect of her friendship with Marc is good for him.

However, if she maintains a mindset that Marc should be protected, that Tigra being willing to secretly assess Marc as a threat is a betrayal instead of the consequence of trying to take over the world, she runs the risk of sliding into codependency. And again, Reese is ~18 years old. She cannot be the only person in Marc’s corner, regardless of the strength of their friendship. That’s pretty clearly what Marlene is referring to here - Reese may want to protect Marc, but she can’t save him. Marc is terrible at taking care of himself, and he’s worse at supporting the people who are supporting him. Stab a guy? He’s got you. Acknowledge that your brother died in front of you? That might be a problem. If you want to be the guy in his corner, you need to know that and know how much of that you can take.

MARLENE: I get that too. I thought that could be me, once upon a time. It was exciting, at first. I loved Marc. And Steven. And Jake. But that was a long time ago.

And Marlene should know that - for years, she wanted to be the person in his corner. Marc was the guy who saved her from Bushman, and who she dedicated her life to saving in return. She helped Steven build his fortune; helped Moon Knight infiltrate terrorist groups; worked to maintain their cover story and secret identity. Marc Spector was giving up his existence as a killer mercenary and becoming Steven Grant, a philanthropic millionaire, and Moon Knight, dispenser of justice in Khonshu’s name. There is no doubt in my mind that Marc and Frenchie alone could not have made that transition, and that Marlene was key in facilitating that development. (Just go back and read the series where Marlene is living with them vs. the ones where they’re separated - there is a pretty sharp divide in how well they’ve got their shit together. Moon Knight cannot effectively function without a support system.)

But did any of that work she did actually matter? Now Marc Spector is giving up his existence as the killer disciple of Khonshu and becoming Mr. Knight, neighborhood hero, and Moon Knight, dispenser of justice (but only begrudgingly in Khonshu’s name).

What did Marlene get out of it? A daughter; a lot of enemies; knowledge that her partner/s loved her but wouldn’t change.

Of course she thinks Reese is getting into essentially the same shit as she did all over again.

But like ... is she right?

MARLENE: We broke each other’s hearts over the years, again and again. In time, horror outpaced the excitement. You’ll see that, eventually.

Well. There are two answers I can give.

The quick blunt answer is that Moon Knight’s defining trait has become that he is mentally ill and does not have his shit together. Will future runs allow him to maintain whatever recovery he makes in this run? My money is on no.

That’s a pretty unsatisfying answer, though, and it completely ignores what MacKay is setting up himself, and I’d argue that the guy whose work is actually in front of us is more worth debating than the potentially infinite future guys. So! In the greater context of this run, I find it impossible to argue that MacKay wants us to think nothing good can come from Marc. Reese and the other vampires are free because of him. Ordinary, everyday people come to him for help. The people in his neighborhood recognize him and trust him and want him there. Soldier’s mother doesn’t blame him for what happened to her son. The House of Shadows loves him.

The thematic question this run is posing is, “can Marc Spector change?” and the main run is answering ... yes! He can let Steven and Jake in again. He can tell the people in his life he has DID. He can go to therapy and take it to heart.

In the annual, Marlene is answering no. She does not think he has really changed, and he will eventually backslide, as he always has before. He is still promising that he can totally quit being Moon Knight and be the partner she always wanted when they both know that is a lie. He’s still a person who needs to be talked down from murder by his elementary-school aged daughter. Moreover, this is a necessary pushback to the main run’s “yes” answer. Marlene’s stance here isn’t wrong. It’s just not universal. If this shit was easy and obvious, we wouldn’t be able to make an overarching emotional throughline out of it, and we need to be shown the roadblocks (people who don’t let you back into their lives and the desire to slide into old bad habits, among others).

This pushback also helps us elaborate on our thematic questions. It’s not just CAN Marc change, but how much effort is Marc willing to put into becoming a stable person to be close to, with whom a long-term relationship of any kind is viable? If he has to choose, will he choose Moon Knight or his human relationships? Will he emotionally support his friends, or only expect their emotional support? If Marc changes, will that even matter? Does being Moon Knight do anything meaningful for the people he hurt? Or is it all for Marc Spector?

Within the context of MacKay’s run, I think Marc and Reese will be fine. Marc has already made the critical step of telling Reese about his DID. Reese, unlike Marlene circa the Moench run, is not interested in Marc making up for his past; she wants him to be good now and that’s enough for her. Reese isn’t going to ~learn her lesson~ about being naive and trusting someone who’s ~crazy~ and ~violent~. What matters isn’t what Marc has done in the past; it’s seeing his behavior in the present with clear eyes and making sure they’re good friends to each other, not just in one direction. (But make no mistake, there will be horrors. Just horrors that they can face as parts of a team.)

[queer-mental-health]

Okay so imma go on a little ramble here, I hope you don't mind and no pressure to respond-

I identify as demigirl and lesbian, and I have an extensive history with sh, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and suicidal thoughts. About a month and a half ago, I came out to my parents (but only about being lesbian and having shitty mental health cuz I didn't know I was a demigirl back then and am still trying to figure out my gender). They seemed really supportive then, but even before I came out they always said things like "don't marry a woman" and weren't kind to lgbtqia+. Now, my dad (whom I don't have a good relationship with) has been going around saying things like "nothing's permanent" and "you can still change your mind". Maybe I'm overreacting, but is he being homophobic? I'm not going to be calling him out for it, because he has also been abusive in the past, but I still want to know if that's wrong of him to say. It probably is because it does hurt emotionally, but still. On top of that, I'm about two weeks clean from sh (not counting scratching/pinching), but I've been really wanting to hurt/kill myself lately, and I'm really struggling with those thoughts. Do you have any tips on how to avoid those? I've talked to Teen Link a few times, which is a confidential teen text line for those struggling with mental health who don't have anyone to talk to but want to talk to someone around their own age (I'll put the phone number down below) and I've found that really helpful, but it's not always enough. I need help but I don't want to reach out for it because I'm afraid of what people will say and stuff. Almost no one knows about my sh, but spring/summer is coming up, meaning warmer days and more short sleeves/swimsuits. Would you have any tips for covering up scars too?

Anyways, sorry that got a little long, also for all of you teens out there who need it, the Teen Link # is 866-833-6546. The number only works for America (I think), but if you research it you may find a similar thing for your country. Thanks for the help :)

You actually have a lot of good questions which I am more than happy to answer!

First, if your dad is saying that you can change your mind because he does not WANT you to be queer, yes that is homophobic. If he is saying that because he knows you and genuinely does not THINK you are queer, that's not exactly homophobic.

Also, I'm proud of you for bein clean for two weeks AND talking to a text line. Those are both things that show how strong you are. About the suicidal thoughts, I know a lot of ways to help with that (being someone who has struggled/is struggling). First, when you get them just distract yourself is the biggest thing. Step away from your thoughts and be around people.

Lastly, I know how hard it can be to not sh but the biggest thing is just resist it. Of course, everyone has slipups so here are some tips for covering up scars. My go to is to wear a jacket but obviously that's not gonna work during the summer, so sometimes you could use makeup if you have access to it. If there are only a few scars you could also just cover them up with bandaids and it shouldn't be too bad.

I hope this helps you!! If you have any other questions or need to vent my inbox is always open!

[pan-magi]

My Magi LGBTQIA+ Headcanons

Ok, I've been working on this list since January. I still probably forgot some. I haven't worked out all my SnB ones yet and about half the Rens. It takes me an inordinate amount of time to sort them out. The only ones I'm really set on are the aspec ones because I'm biased (that's me, I'm AA and proud).

All that to say I may update this list or do a second part. Most likely won't be for a while since I'd want to to add a good chunk before I commit more to the wild.

Also, if you disagree, that's cool. My list though~ I love hearing other people's hcs but I am not up to arguing over mine. I know you guys are chill but to ensure we are on the same page :)

(It's a reasonably long list so all of it is under the read more)

Leila and Sahsa: You can't tell me the manga didn't start off with a lesbian love story with a little shit child playing mediator.

Judar: He very gay.

Aladdin: Genderfluid. I just like the idea of him having everyone constantly guessing as a child of chaos. They're also vying to take that title from Judar. I also can't place who the kid will be interested in but none of his friends are around the same age.

Titus: Trans gay guy.

Yunan: Doesn't really have much attachment to gender. He wouldn't really describe it as a lack of gender yet won't turn down using agender. Gender neutrois also works. Uses any pronouns.

Scheherazade: Cupiosexual. She yearns for being able to have sexual attraction but it just never has occurred for her. After a few decades she had accepted it about herself. The most common form of attraction she feels is alterous attraction (often explained as the space between romantic and platonic attraction).

Hakuryuu: He has messy chemistry with everyone. Bi disaster through and through.

Morgiana: Ace and questioning. She hasn't figured it all out yet but her friends are there to support her. (hi, yes, this is me projecting weeee)

Alibaba: Bisexual and clueless. So if you ask, he won't be able to answer but he also picked up on Sinbad's natural ability to flirt with anybody without trying too hard.

Hakuei: Lesbian

Koumei: Bisexual. I mentioned with the art I made on my own blog that I designed Koumei around the bi colors without realizing it. Nothing in my mind has changed to refute that so that's what I'm still going with. I do think it fits him.

Sphintus: Gay. I can see him being biromantic as well, but mostly into guys.

Sinbad: Pansexual and greyromantic. I won't go into it again more here. He's the best most clueless and suave person ever.

Jafar: Homoromantic demisexual. He likes guys but also without any strong connection to go off of he doesn't really register how people can be attractive.

Drakon: Omnisexual. There's attraction to guys, women, and enbies, all slightly different to each other. Preference for women.

Mystras: Also very gay.

Pisti: Aegoromantic. She gets invested in other people's (mainly her friends') love lives, and loves love stories, but whenever she tries getting into a relationship it never sits right for her. She won't mind an intimate relationship though knows it won't be romantic (after a bit of denial). After my brain came up with this I started projecting like hell and I don't give a fuck XD.

Mu: Mspec of some variety. I don't think he will be bothered by either bi or pan. Queer will work just as well. He will be down for anyone, you know? Going off queer history circles I've seen conversations and jokes that no one in Ancient Rome is monosexual. Mu feels like the person it will apply to the most. I'm going with it.

I joked to myself that the majority on Alma Toran are mspec or aspec. With longer lifespans for humans, a good handful are aspec because of the lack of incentive to have kids or families quickly. I would have posted about it last year during my Alma Toran posting in October and during ace week, but alas. I'm now posting it here lol.

Anyway, my Alma Toran hcs:

Solomon: Demisexual. Hasn't spent time thinking about it because he didn't expect to marry so young. It doesn't bother him though, not that he could explain his sexuality well.

Setta: Aroace. All ice mages are aroace because I said so. (except Judar, dude can have as many guys as he wants)

Isnan: Gay

Falan: Bi. Growing up she didn't have the chance to explore her sexuality. She won't deny it if asked though is perfectly happy in her relationship.

Ugo: Bi and aceflux.

Paimon: Also bi. She flirts too much with Ugo not to be (though I do know some lesbians and non-interested in men peeps who flirt with guys for shits and giggles without much feeling. Poison Ivy being the main lesbian I think of for this).

Arba: Non-sam aro. I tried to figure out her sexuality and I know it's not ace, but it's still too wrapped up in being aromantic. Non-sam is the closest I could figure.

Tess: Demiboy. The idea just burrowed into my head and hasn't left so I'm going with it. He is fine with he/they pronouns, yet the only people allowed to get away with calling him little boy are his parents.

That's all I got. For the moment, at least. If I try to figure everyone out I won't get around to finishing this till pride next year. If ever >>. As I said, I may update the list or post a second part.

Remember to stay chill peeps! & Happy Pride!

[vryivs]

Shipper tag game

tagged by @tiesanjiaoshenanigans <33

What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

oh god i dont even know. probably any silm ship i liked since i just outgrew that part of my life organically and also dennor probably?

Which ship would you consider your first one?

percabeth easily

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

it was dennor hetalia

Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

most likely percabeth since i got tumblr literally just to follow viria for the art

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

yes i was 13 and i didnt like fruk. i made an apology drawing that said 'im sorry fruk shippers' on a sign being held up by a sad girl. i was 13. since then? not really. i dont tend to have the time or energy to actively argue with people i disagree with. to me theres no point + it doesnt matter

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

im opinionated so absolutely!! didnt like hk/iceland (hetalia) or fruk (hetalia again lol). didnt like yuri/otabek (yoi), most byleth/student ships (femblem), jeanluc (when i was into genshin). currently dont like renheng (it's just not my thing), jing yuan/fu xuan (also not my thing) or dan heng/anyone tbh (although i make exceptions for tb). i dont have any massive reasons for disliking them theyre just either not my thing or dont align with my hcs (shrug)

any jing yuan/hcq feels vaguely icky to me because they knew him as a teenager while they were adults (aside from yingxing since his age is more ambiguous and it seems like he mightve grown up at the same time jy did?)

Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

brb checking my ao3 history

oh my god is was a fucking dddne dabi/hawks fic i found when i was looking through trans tags. i havent read or watched mha it just sounded interesting. i liked it and its here if you want to read it (mind the tags)

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

weirdly no massive ones for hsr which is my main fandom. i have ships i like tho!! kafblade, stellemarch and bronseele. also i think clara/yanqing is adorable in concept. arranging playdates between my daughter and jing yuans son. i also think voidwelt would be really interesting

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

not rlly!! i tend not to care too much about canon when it comes to shipping, so i hardly even pay it attention

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

not rlly!! if there is i cant remember them

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

any rpf ship tbh. i honestly think rpf is fine as long as you dont project its contents onto the very real people it's based off of.

What is your favorite crack ship?

velite/argenti

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

i dont read fanfic v often (combination of bad attention span, really specific tastes, etc) but when i do its usually sansang, seongjoong, or whatever ship fic @tiesanjiaoshenanigans or @kireinalix ask me to beta are hehe

What do most of your ships usually have in common?

this is a good question and i dont really know the answer. my taste tends to favour characters who make a good parental unit (seongjoong, jingliu/baiheng), but i also enjoy the dynamics of amoral pairs (kafblade), as well as goofy lesbians having a good time (stellemarch)

What you absolutely hate in a ship?

if its boring tbh. if something feels boring or overdone im p much guaranteed not to like it. like jeanluc? theyre just boring to me. i also really dont enjoy the 'i knew you when you were a kid and then you grew up hot and now we're dating' thing

tagging @himbodevotee @morifiinwe @shineoftherainbow @kireinalix @aowyn and anyone else who follows me :3

[kickflipkidd]

Hi. Tell me about Calum. Or Florian. Baker's choice. 👀

Hi! Thank you for the ask omg! Hope you are prepared for more than a bit of an infodump lol

My boyyyys haha it's a little hard to pick one buuuut I guess I'll go with Florian!

-full name is Franz Florian Leitner

-born and raised in Vienna ((fun fact about both of these characters that I am. cringing to admit but. they both started out as Hetalia ocs cuz I was really into it when I was like 13/14 but I loved them so much they became their own boys)), moved to Berlin at 20, Amsterdam at 24, New York city at 27 and then ended up vaguely in the PNW US at 28. this boy keeps runnin

-his mother Lita was a rising star ballerina who got pregnant as a teen and kicked out by her parents but her grandfather took her in and was there for the first five years of Florian's life before he passed. he left them his home and inheritence so they were financially stable but now Lita was left alone to raise the kid who she sees as the reason her life fell apart. there is a lot of resentment between the two of them

-Florian showed an early aptitude for music and his mother really latched on to that and adopted the same "pressure makes diamonds" attitude her parents had towards her. Florian has practically no social life growing up, all of his free time is dedicated to practicing music

-when he comes out as gay her response is "good to know you won't be getting anyone pregnant. are you ready for that play test tomorrow? I expect to hear good things from your director, Franz" (he started going by Florian as like. an act of rebellion but Lita refuses to acknowledge it bc he's named after her grandfather who took them in and she sees it as extremely disrespectful to his memory)

-But more about Florian himself! the first instrument he ever played was piano and he is very skilled at it, but he fell in love with violin at age 4 after seeing a performance of Vivaldi's four seasons. His grandfather got him a child sized violin and a book on basics and that was that, Florian was hooked. Music is his happy place in spite of the pressure his mother would end up putting on him about it. Since he wasn't allowed to do things with friends outside of performances he spent a lot of time on his own learning about all different instruments, their histories, how to play them, etc. If you give him about a day with any given instrument he can come back to you and play something at at least a basic skill level depending on how familiar he was with the instrument beforehand. (this leads to friends he makes later in life basically just. handing him their instruments and being like "can you play THIS tho??" and the answer is usually yes)

-ask him about an instrument if you would like an hours long dissertation about its history and cultural influences! you can't get him to stop once he starts! (he later meets and befriends a cool nb lesbian named Mickie who is also Very Autistic about music. they become besties and their combined infodumping could educate a lecture hall full of disinterested music majors)

-transcribes music by hand for fun and relaxation

-he is a ridiculously heavy sleeper and can will himself to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. not god themself could wake this mans when he decides it's bedtime

-he looks like the softest sweetest lil nerd who will faint if he hears swear words but he had a pretty hardcore party phase in his early twenties. classic case of stifled/sheltered kid going crazy once they're on their own. he hit up a lot of clubs, experimented with a lot of substances, got into a habit of drunken hookups which he found to be So Much Easier to handle than like. a relationship where you have to deal with your feelings or ~whatever~. his friends later in life are astonished when they learn all this bc they assumed that his body count was MAYBE 1 and that he didn't know what drugs were. he just DOES NOT seem the type

-partied a little too hardy and had to stop. got back into music as a main focus after kinda just fucking around for a few years. tried to live in NYC but hated it. ended up in (vague city, I don't actually wanna be tied to a specific real location lol) for a music festival with a small group and ended up checking out the open auditions the local symphony orchestra was holding. decided to audition on violin and made it in! this is how he ends up in (vague city)

-this boy is very anxious and not very good at making friends. he can hold conversation with other members of the symphony okay but outside of that he really just keeps to himself. it's what he's used to, and aside from that he tends to jump to the worst conclusions about all of his social interactions because he doesn't know how to read people. he leaves most conversations having convinced himself that the other person hates him when usually at worst he may have said some rude shit on accident

-how he and Calum meet varies depending on the setting (I have so many aus for them) but the consistent thing is that there's an immediate connection. which scares the Fuck out of Florian who really doesn't do the whole "commitment" thing. so he bolts which leaves Calum going "hey wtf I thought there was something to this? get back here." lucky for both of them Calum is stubborn

-an important thing to get across - Florian is kind of bitchy. he doesn't mean to be (most of the time) but he doesn't always know what is or isn't considered appropriate to say so he'll say shit not realizing it's rude (like comments about people's appearances or giving his actual brutally honest opinion on something), or he gets overwhelmed by a situation and lashes out. Calum is particularly good at pushing his buttons and the two of them bicker quite a bit, especially at first. it takes Florian a long time to wrap his head around the fact that Calum still likes him even when they're not getting along

-I feel like I should cut it here cuz it's getting long but I'll end saying Florian's story in pretty much any setting is about him learning to love himself and make healthy connections with other people and lean on them for support. I could go on for like. hours but that pretty much covers basic facts and what I consider to be his "base canon" backstory! Thanks so much again for the ask!!

here are a couple old as fuck (circa 2015 I think?) doodles of him. I haven't drawn as much in recent years but that's my boy!

[mdhwrites]

Sorry, person who sent the Amity ask here. I saw your tweet along with the blog response. Firstly, i didnt mean for my ask to be upsetting so im sorry about that.

Secondly, i kinda wanna clarify that i meant the fandom knows Amity isnt a morally good person not so much a bad character? (although yes her writing is not that great in s2 and arguably in s1 it is 'eh' handled too.)

I think the writers really could have tackled that morality issue and possibly tried to integrate Amity KNOWING her flip was selfish, it could have been an interesting s2 dynamic with Willow.

(but ofc... Hunter, who devours screen time. sorry i hate this guy, he is so pointless in every way. familial abuse? already being done with Amity. Setting up caleb? could have been done in so many other ways that didnt make characters like Gus and Willow have like no real development. showing Belos is evil? Vee is RIGHT THERE as a experimentation victim. and ykno, trying to commit genocide is a pretty big tell of e v i l.)

No need to apologize. It's not your fault and honestly, I could in theory try to hold myself back doing these and not get as emotional. I prefer how I'm doing them now because I think A: it just shows my passion for writing which... you know, it is my job, B: it shows that I'm not just doing this to prove I'm 'better' than The Owl House or any shit and C: that all of this comes from a place of... Well, sympathy to anyone else who is like me. Anyone else who adored the show and could ignore its flaws until it just turned into something so much rougher, meaner and blatantly unplanned. I agree that tackling Amity's flip as having been selfish and only around one person would have been interesting. It also would have meant painting Lumity as a non-universal good thing and that is clearly not something they want to do, despite everything they have Luz do post them getting together. They WANT that title of healthiest couple in media for their little Disney lesbians even if they've lost that possibility long ago. So I don't blame them for not following that specific angle. But I also made my blog last time the way I did because... By the end of season 2, how much do YOU believe she's still a morally gray character? Even if she's still mostly motivated by Luz, this is a character who won't snoop, won't be mean, tries to emulate her version of Luz, which is the sweet version of Luz, when faced with a dilemma, etc. like that. She is a good guy through and through, and especially more so than Luz because she has a problem with someone and she opens up communication, despite that making NO SENSE. Then again, much of Amity's actions post becoming Luz's girlfriend don't make sense in the context to what love, acceptance, etc. like that means with the only explanation for it being that Eclipse Lake was all it took to clear all that trauma and mistreatment because "It's Luz! What was I thinking?" *siiiiiigh* And then S3, from the clips I've seen, push more her being sweet or a complete fucking disaster, continuing something that has been happening since S1 even. After all, "Watch it, nitwit!" is like... the last mean thing Amity has said or done to someone who wasn't framed as deserving it. But she has been a fucking saint ever since then. And as a note, because I call even Amity's character arc bad, this is not a bad place for it to have ended. HOWEVER, the lack of her past self, her past actions, any personal goals or the like... It'd be like if Zuko joined the gang and then immediately was smiles, rainbows and totally not interested in killing his dad because that can wait, I just want to fish! At that point it's just an entirely different character and there are definitely points at which Amity just feels like she must have an entirely different history and personality than the one we knew and were told.

And as for Hunter, I've covered some of my feelings about him when someone asked me if I thought Lunter would have been better for the show *gags* but there's obviously more I could talk about with just a piece dedicated to discussing the character. When the baseline of your character is "Discount other character", you know things are in for a rough time. The fact that he's a discount Amity when I already think so poorly of Amity's handling... OOOOOOH BOY.

[cfaugust]

❛❛   fable langstrom .  ❜❜   ― 🦇 ― loading files…  

BASICS.

full name : fable rebecca langstrom

name meaning :

fable : english | “story with a moral lesson”

rebecca : hebrew | “captivating; snare”

langstrom : swedish | “flowing river, long stream”

nicknames : fae

alias : she-bat, formery batling

gender / pronouns : nonbinary / she/they

sexuality : lesbian

date of birth : april 17

age : 18-32

zodiac : aries

place of birth : gotham, new jersey

accent : slight jersey accent

languages : english, latin, asl

occupation : natural history museum curator

species : metahuman

powers/abilities : she-bat transformation, flight, echolocation, sound manipulation, animal empathy, enhanced strength, enhanced durability, enhanced hearing

APPEARANCE.

faceclaim : nina dobrev

height : 5′8″

eye color : brown

hair color : brunette

dominant hand : right handed

glasses : yes, prescription

MEDICAL.

mental : audhd, ptsd, insomnia, survivor’s guilt, depression

physical : n/a

PERSONALITY.

positive traits : resilient, articulate, passionate

negative traits : resentful, insecure, enigmatic

hobbies : researching, reading, relaxing in the bath, cuddling chiro, midnight flights when she can’t sleep

RELATIONSHIPS.

parents :

robert kirkland “kirk” langstrom, man-bat; father

francine kirkland, née lee, she-bat; mother

siblings : n/a

spouse : n/a

children : n/a

pets :

chiroptera “chiro” [ chocolate lab ]

ADDITIONAL INFO.

quick facts :

coming soon.

feel free to ask me anything, as this is a work in progress.

biography :

TW FOR SUICIDE, MURDER, ADDICTION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE.

kirk canonically struggled with an addiction to the man-bat serum. his overuse of the serum is how fable ended up with those abilities straight up in her dna. she was a toddler the first time she transformed, attacking both her parents in a confused panic. eventually kirk was able to calm the child, but it was a wake up call that things had gone too far. he reached out to batman for help in researching a cure, as the hero had developed the initial reversal serum. but nothing worked, and fable's abilities were deemed untreatable. so training began to help her gain control over the transformation. she took to it far better than either of the langstrom's ever had, showing no signs of the loss of self and hostility that her parents had suffered as a side effect of the serum. kirk, for his part, stayed clean for years. but he could only live vicariously through his child for so long.

fable was 12 the first time her father relapsed. it lasted about a week, ending with francince leaving him and taking their daughter with her. it was this event that would begin a downward spiral for kirk langstrom. another 6 years of sobriety for the sake of visitation, and he found himself turning once more to the man-bat serum. perhaps if fable had been born without the negative side effects, he could push through them if he just tried hard enough.

but kirk had been wrong. the built up anger and self loathing of the last few years were too much, driving him to turn his hatred towards his ex wife. he flew to the apartment francine and fable shared, attacking his ex and killing her in front of their child. it was the scream that exploded from a then 18 year old fable that broke through the haze of anger clouding kirk's mind. seeing what he had done, the man-bat fled the scene and later that night took his own life, leaving his child an orphan.

CONNECTIONS. (adoptable affiliated ocs)

connection : details. ➢ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍

connection : details. ➢ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍

[aftgsucks]

NMFTG Chapter 22

First Date Attempted Homicides

holy shit I finally finished this chapter: ao3

renee and neil being friend dates to the christmas banquet below the cut

In the midst of nine different long winded anecdotes, maybe just enough waxing poetic about Dan, and a very confusing explanation of something called “love languages,” Matt managed to deliver a list of requirements: buy flowers, wear semi-matching outfits, compliment each other, and sit together.

A mission statement: “dates are about learning and sharing.” 

And a promise to “not gossip or interfere if Andrew tries to kill you, you strange, strange man.” As Matt was still somehow convinced Neil was living by a secret agenda that dictated he steal everyone’s girlfriends, despite Neil’s entire lack of interest in that or the blatant fact that Renee and Andrew weren’t together. And therefore Matt assumed Andrew would be killing Neil at his earliest convenience once he returned and learned of that. 

If only Neil would be so lucky. 

Neil was about ready to flip the picnic table they were sitting at and yell ‘scatter,’ when Matt slapped the table with an air of finality and asked, “Do you guys have any questions?” 

“No, thank you Matt, this has been informative,” Renee answered. 

“I’m happy to help and not gossip about this whatsoever. It’ll actually be pretty funny to be the only one in the know while you guys do this… experiment? What exactly is going on here? If not girlfriend-napping.” He asked. 

“We’re going to the banquet together,” Neil hedged. 

“Yeah, sure, no answers for Matt. Whatever. By the way, what are you guys doing for winter break?” 

“North Dakota,” Renee answered. “I’m bringing Allison and Seth again.” 

“I’ll be here, I guess, or in Columbia looking after Andrew’s little ducks.” 

Matt half-heartedly tried to hide his smile. “Okay, well, if you and Andrew’s little ducks want to come to New York with me, my mom and I would be happy to host you all.” 

Neil had never been to New York. “I’ll ask them,” he said. They’d probably say yes, if not Neil could just lower his voice and maybe they’d all think he was Andrew for a second and agree in a blind fear. 

“Awesome.” Matt said, completely ignoring the fact that if Andrew was going to kill Neil for anything it would definitely be this. 

They all agreed easy, way easier then Neil thought they would. But Katelyn was going to visit her parents for the holidays so Aaron didn’t care and once Kevin was told they’d have access to a court he agreed. 

Allison had gotten Neil a second suit for the winter banquet back when she’d gotten the first one. Neil showed it to Renee for the purposes of matching and getting flowers. It was dark brown with gold buttons and another white button up underneath. Renee had nodded sagely and Neil figured she’d sort it out. 

They went to the florist together the day before the banquet, paid what seemed like too much to a vaguely depressed looking florist and got yellow roses to pin to each other. 

“I don’t know if I really understand this?” Neil admitted as they walked back to the dorms. It was cold out and the straw hat did nothing to keep heat in, but Neil was determined to stick to his hat resolution. He could steal one of Seth’s beanies but it just wouldn’t have the same flair. 

“Well, flowers have a long history as tokens of affection. They’re pretty and most people like them. It’s probably more about the exchange of items and visual connection.” 

“I have a yellow flower, you have a yellow flower.” Neil nodded to himself. “Hey, Renee?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever wanted to actually do this with someone?” 

Renee glanced at him, “I have. I had too much going on before I was Renee. And then I had my religion and admittedly it took a long time for me to get past my own fears about what I wanted.” 

Neil raised an eyebrow. 

Renee shrugged. “‘I’ve been considering telling everyone soon, but I know you wouldn’t say anything anyway, I’m a Lesbian, Neil. I like women and that has not historically been approved of in lots of circles. I was afraid Stephanie would tell me I was going to hell. I was afraid I was going to hell.” 

“And then?”

“And then I talked to her about it and my fears were unfounded. And then I came here and while the team’s gotten better in recent times it was rough at first. So, I decided to keep quiet on the matter.” And then her and Andrew worked out their deal about banquets to keep the others off her back about it. 

“I’ve never,” Neil fiddled with the plastic bag that had the roses in it. “The few times I kissed anyone it was mostly about curiosity and then disappointment. I don’t really get any of it, to be honest. And I was never allowed to date anyway so it never seemed that important. But um, I’m asexual.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with that, or you for that matter.” She gave him a wry grin. “Not about this. Everyone’s different. I know you’re not one for religion so I’ll save the whole God thing. But, there are other people who feel just the way you do. None of us are as alone as we feel.” Her hand went up to her cross and Neil would put money on it being a gift from her mother. 

“Thanks for being my first date, Renee.” 

“Thank you for being mine.” 

Allison ‘got’ Neil to leave his hat at the dorms by promising to stop pretending to throw up everytime she saw him in one of his new outfits. She was a total sucker, Neil had already decided he didn’t want his hat to have to deal with the Ravens. They would sully its honor. 

Everyone piled onto the bus and Neil snagged Kevin’s sleeve and tugged him off to the side. “Look at me.” Neil said. 

Kevin was already in the beginnings of his pre-Raven panics but still had the leftover audacity to look irritated at Neil. Whatever, he could be as pissed as he wanted, it wasn't Neil’s job to keep him happy, it was Neil’s job to keep him alive and un-Ravened. 

Neil had pinpointed right before the bus ride as the best time for this chat, it gave Kevin long enough to ruminate on Neil’s words that he’d believe him but not long enough that Kevin would start having extra questions. 

“Do you remember what you asked me at Halloween?” Neil asked. 

“What?” Kevin asked. Of course he didn’t remember. The guy had been eight different sorts of fucked up that night. 

“You asked me why I don’t drink,” he informed Kevin. “The time and place for alcohol is when you’re in the process of bleeding out and need something to steady your hand while you’re stitching up your own wounds.” 

Kevin's eyes went wide. 

“You’ve seen me in the locker room, you can guess how many times I’ve had to do that. Drinking recreationally would just make it a less effective anesthetic in addition to making me vulnerable to an attack. You won’t be bleeding today. Stay sober, stay within reach of me or another Fox. Don’t leave with anyone who isn’t us. If anyone tries to corner you or get you alone you yell ‘I’m gonna throw up’ and run for the nearest Fox and then the nearest bathroom. Do you understand me?” Neil reached out and grabbed Kevin’s shoulder. “I will not let anything happen to you, but you need to listen to me.” 

“Okay,” Kevin said with a jerking nod. “Okay.” 

“Sober and in sight.” Neil said once more before marching Kevin up and onto the bus. Neil deposited Kevin next to Abby and then made for Renee’s bench, where she had saved him a seat. 

“Neil?” Seth asked. 

“What?” 

“What do you mean what?” Seth gestured to Neil and Renee. 

“You’re supposed to sit with your date.” Neil said. 

Renee made an amused sound next to him. 

“Date?!?” Allison yelled, with frankly too much disbelief and outrage. 

Katelyn shot up from her seat next to Aaron. And practically sprinted down the aisle to look Neil in the eyes. “What happened to ‘I’m not catholic and I’m not taking anyone to the banquet?’” She asked with a shit eating grin on her face. 

“Well, I’m still not catholic. And Renee asked nicely.” 

“I also asked nicely.” Katelyn said with fake offense. 

“No, you hunted me down while I was on a walk and tried to get me to be the scapegoat for your badly hidden secret relationship.” 

“We’re not in a relationship,” Aaron corrected from where he was still seated. 

“Aaron, I will beat the shit out of you and gleefully die at Andrew’s hands. Grow up.” 

“Neil,” Matt said carefully. “Do you want Andrew to kill you?”

Neil leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling of the bus. “We all have to die someday, Matt, and there are worse ways to go. If I get him angry enough he’ll even be quick about it.” 

“Well, that’s horrible.” Nicky said before apologizing to his date about everyone. 

“Andrew’s not gonna kill you, you little shit, you’re like his deputy or whatever.” Seth said. 

“Call him the sheriff to his face when he gets back and I’ll give you a hundred dollars,” Allison offered, already pulling out her purse. 

“There is nothing lawful about either of them,” Aaron complained. “They’re like weird murder buddies.” 

“Okay, if you say that to Andrew’s face I’ll give you two hundred dollars.” Allison said. 

“No one is allowed to get murdered,” Dan said. 

Dan would be very unhappy with Neil one of these days. Oh, well. 

“Renee, if Andrew doesn’t murder me when he gets back will you put me out of my misery?” Neil asked, remembering Matt’s rule about talking. 

“Sorry, Neil, the ten commandments forbid me.” She patted him on the shoulder consolingly. 

“This is so unfair.” 

The Winter Banquet was at Breckenridge that year. Kevin managed to somewhat listen to Neil and was close enough to sober for Neil to not bug him about it. 

They got changed in the lockers and met back up in the hall. Neil handed Renee the rose. There was a pin in the stem so Renee could attach it to the strap of her dress. 

“Your dress looks very soft.” He said, glancing over at Matt for support. And it did, it was velvet and just a shade darker then Neil’s suit. 

Matt gave him a thumbs up. 

“Thank you,” Renee said, handing him the other rose. “The orange hair goes well with the suit, you made an apt choice.” 

“Thank you.” Neil said. Although he hadn't been thinking of the suit when he’d dyed his hair. He pulled the lapel of the suit out a bit so he could jam the pin through it without stabbing himself. 

“This is adorable,” Dan said. 

“So cute I could throw up,” Allison said. She checked over Neil’s suit but didn’t fix anything about his appearance. He was vaguely proud of himself. 

The Ravens and the Foxes were both seated at opposite ends of the court. Evidently the last banquet being proof enough that the two teams should be kept far, far away from each other. Which was good as Neil had a few educated guesses about what Riko was planning and he didn’t like any of the possibilities. 

They sat with the Hornets and Neil left interteam relations to the upperclassmen. Instead he split his time evenly between chatting with Renee, distracting Kevin, and keeping an eye out for stray birds. 

Then Tetsuji got up to announce which teams would qualify for the spring games and Neil got so caught up in the euphoria of Palmetto just barely making it that he decided to ignore the strong possibility he wouldn’t make it to the end of the season. 

He slipped a hand into his suit pocket and thumbed at the keys he’d transferred from his sweatshirt. He just needed the rest of the team to survive longer, if they made it far enough before he died the ERC might let the others finish without him. Technically they’d still have enough players. 

Post dinner, the Foxes divided. Most of them headed off to the dance floor. Neil, Renee, and Kevin stayed at the edge of the dance floor watching the others. 

“Do you want to dance?” Neil asked, hoping the answer was no. 

“What would we do with Kevin?” Renee shook her head. 

Kevin, still mostly sober, just sighed deeply, not at all entertaining either of them. They should have brought him to the first date lesson with Matt, Kevin sucked at this. 

Neil said as much. 

“I am not either of your dates,” Kevin complained. “We’re not dating, I have a girlfriend.” 

“I totally believe you, Kevin.” Neil said. “Also, we don’t need to be dating to go as dates to the banquet.” 

“I need a drink.” 

“You don’t,” Neil disagreed. 

Renee opened her mouth to say something good natured and amusing, Neil was sure, but then Seth came up to them out of the dance floor. With his hands in his pockets and a complicated look on his face he avoided eye contact and managed to speak in an even and genial tone. 

“Renee, would you go dance with Allison? I need a break.” 

Renee looked to Neil, who shrugged. And then she smiled and made off onto the dance floor. 

Seth turned and watched as Renee went up to Allison and the two started to dance. 

“Be an ally, Seth,” he mumbled under his breath. “Wingman me.” He straightened up and spoke at a regular volume. “Okay I need to go find Coach, some place that isn’t here, see you later fuckos.” 

Neil let Seth go, in favor of not asking what any of that was about. But he couldn’t help himself completely and the second Seth was out of earshot Neil turned to Kevin. “Did him and Allison break up again?” He asked. 

“Okay, I’m getting a drink.” Kevin said instead of answering. 

Neil followed him over to the drink table, fully intending to spend the next ten minutes knocking cups out of Kevin’s hand. Which of course is when Riko and Jean appeared to make everything miserable. 

“Oh, yay,” Neil decided he would start. “My two favorite has-beens, what’s up? Fuck anything up recently?” 

Kevin poured himself a glass of punch and chugged it for half a second before putting it down with a look of disgust. That was the ‘this has no alcohol content,’ look of disgust, distinct and separate from all of Kevin’s other various disgust related faces. 

“Nathaniel,” Riko said with a grin. Fuck. “You will learn how to treat your betters. I will not tolerate this disrespect any longer.” 

“Come now, Riko, delusional isn’t a good look for anyone. You know my name is Neil.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“I’d love to know what it is you think you’re doing here? Acting as if I don’t own you, but as everything you say is incomprehensible gibberish I’ll save us both the time. You will come to Evermore for Christmas break or a doctor in Easthaven will turn therapy into reenactments of the Goalie’s scandalous past. Or maybe something worse. Do you understand me, Butcher’s boy?” Riko reached out and slipped a piece of folded paper into Neil’s suit pocket. 

Neil grabbed his wrist and and hissed, “if you even think of touching him--” 

“If you want him safe you will be on that plane tomorrow.” Riko hissed back, wrenching his wrist out of Neil’s grasp and storming off. Jean followed obediently behind him. 

Fuck, FUCK. Neil couldn’t even begin to parse what the fuck Riko meant about owning him. 

Andrew, locked in Easthaven where no one could talk to him until the new year. Shit. No knives, coming off his meds. Fuck. 

Neil turned and saw Kevin, face pale as a sheet, not breathing at all. 

Even Dobson couldn’t talk to Andrew. 

“Is it true?” Kevin wheezed, eyes searching Neil’s face. 

The team had petitioned the courts because of him. Because of Neil and his big fucking mouth. 

Neil moved forward, Kevin flinched and Neil ignored it as he grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him out of the court, out of the party and into the hall. Kevin started babbling and Neil couldn’t make most of it out between his own panic and Kevin’s. 

“You have to go,” is what finally caught up to Neil’s ears. 

Neil pulled the slip of paper out of his pocket, the plane confirmation. “No, that’s stupid.” He said, ripping it in half. 

Kevin decked him in the face. 

Neil swore and stumbled back. 

“You are not leaving Andrew to die,” Kevin ordered. Now, where the fuck had this been while Riko was running his mouth? 

“I’m not. Fuckface.” Neil said. “I know you’re smart, rub two brain cells together and think for a minute. If I go we’ll both die.” Neil couldn’t protect anyone from the Nest. 

“He’ll kill Andrew if you stay!”

Kevin wasn’t wrong. 

“Just give me a minute.” Neil said. He reached up to staunch the blood coming from his nose. Goddammit, thinking with a broken nose wasn’t fun. But no one was gonna die to Riko fucking Moryiama. 

The other Foxes came pouring out of the court and Neil suddenly saw his solution. A beacon of white haired salvation. His date. Renee Walker. 

Renee who had sat on the other side of the hallway that whole night with him. Renee who had put one hand above his eyes to keep the soap away while washing his hair. 

Renee who Andrew trusted. 

Neil made for the group. 

“What happened?” Dan asked the second she saw the blood on Neil’s face. 

“Riko?” Seth asked, already building up a rage. 

“No, it was Kevin,” Neil dismissed. 

“Day, what the fuck?” Seth and Matt both made for Kevin. 

Neil grabbed both of them. “If you hit Kevin, Andrew will hit you when he gets back.” 

“If he gets back,” Kevin had stopped breathing again. He wouldn’t look at Neil. 

“No one hit Kevin,” Neil said. 

“Why wouldn’t Andrew come back?” Nicky asked. 

“Renee,” Neil ignored him. “I need to talk to you.” 

“No, you need to answer the fucking question Josten,” Aaron said with a pointed finger. Katelyn pulled a wad of napkins out of her purse and handed them to Neil. 

Sure, yeah, Neil could answer the question and they could all storm back into the court to rip Riko limb from limb in front of all the southern division teams. That would be great. A real fun time until they went to prison or got executed by the mob. 

Or Neil could run in now, swipe a stray knife off some table and jam it through Riko’s stupid neck. Then he’d be the only one in trouble. Maybe he’d end up in the same prison as his father. 

Coach stormed out into the hall, “what the fuck are you all doing out here?” He barked. 

That wouldn’t get Andrew out of Easthaven.

“Coach, we all gotta go,” Neil said. “Or else I’m going to very publicly make an attempt on Riko’s life.” He shoved the ripped pieces of paper into the nearest trash can and wiped some blood off his face with the napkins. 

“Oh, god,” Kevin groaned. “He wasn’t lying, was he?” 

“Later Kevin, one crisis at a time.”

[accidentally-got-here]

Dude’s first steps into understanding The Trans

This needs a lot of context first so bare with me

So I work at Walmart and there’s this one guy who I have called Follow Friend when telling others about him.

Now, I think I’m the only one in my department (apparel) that actually has the patience to deal with him and I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m a fellow neurodivergent so I just kinda...get it. 

He follows me around for literal hours just talking and talking and asking very basic questions. I don’t know what his flavor of neurodivergent is, I can’t place it, but it’s also none of my business. He can’t read time, even on a digital clock, but he knows what the numbers mean when you say them out loud. He seems to be unable to read most anything. This isn’t for a lack of education, no, I just learned that attends one of the best schools in our area. I also learned that he’s 17 and still repeating the 9th grade. I’ve explained to him what the word “fancy” means, I’ve explained the point of fishnet tights in a PG way, I’ve explained why clothes are different for men and women, I’ve explained the history and evolution of dresses and that men used to wear tunics and yes that was like a dress but not, I’ve explained what cotton is, and I’ve explained what is means when something is expensive. 

I don’t think he hasn’t ever had these things explained or didn’t learn stuff, I think his brains just doesn't hold onto anything and that’s okay. He has a very simple mind and I mean that in the most basic factual way. 

Yesterday, Follow Friend found me again and asked if it was weird that he used to paint his nails. I said it wasn’t and that lots of people paint their nails for different reasons. He wanted to know if painting them made him gay. From my understanding he’s from a very conservative family and he also has very conservative views but is too jolly in his soul to ever have that conservation bitterness or hatred. 

“Painting your nails doesn't make you gay, but it is generally considered to be a feminine thing to do.” 

I then explained what feminine was. He asked if I knew any gay people and I said I did. He asked if I knew any gay girls and I said I did and introduce him to the term lesbian. I try to keep my own opinions out of conversations while at work because I don’t want a disagreeing Karen to pop up out of nowhere and yell at me. He then asked me when gay people first existed. He wondered if it only started in like 2010 or something.

Listen, I don’t know the depth of what he can comprehend or if complex social topics like this will just leave him confused. So I broke it down to the most simple elements I could on the spot. 

“Modernly, I would say things started changing in the ‘70′s. But gay people have been around as long as all people have. Personally, I wasn’t aware of gays until I was in middle school in 2008.”

“Really? As long ago as the 70′s? Wow. I don’t know any old gay people though. Do you?” 

“Yes, my mom’s cousin is gay.” I didn’t elaborate on that. He was a teen in the 70s and has seen a lot of violence in his life. Sweet guy. He got his happy ending though! He lives in the mountains with his husband and two chihuahuas and a labrador. 

Follow Friend was stumped by that and then asked if trans people have been around that long because he didn’t know any old trans people. One thing he does seem to retain some knowledge of though is pop culture and celebrates. And I wasn’t about to out the elder trans woman that worked in the store. 

“Well, do you know about Caitlyn Jenner?” I asked and his eyes lit up. 

“Oh yeah! He was Bruce!” 

“Yes, see? There are old trans. They have been around just as long as the gays.”

“Since the 70′s? That’s along time.” 

“Yup.” The abstract notion of “as long as people have been around” didn’t stick. 

“Do you know trans people?” He asked. He never asks a disingenuous question.

“I do, I know some tans men and some trans women.” I elaborated to explain that trans men were transitioning to men while trans women where transitioning to women. That was a bit much, he kinda got this lost and sad look like he had no idea what words I was even say so I cut the explanation short. But he was still curious.

“What do they do? Take medicine? Get surgery?” 

“They take hormone medicine but none of them have gotten surgeries done.”

“Oh, why not?” 

“Well, surgery is expensive.” 

“Oh yeah! And what if it all broke or came undone or fell out? That wouldn’t be worth it cause you’d have to do it all again. Doing it twice would be too expensive.” 

I don’t think he knows how the various surgeries work but he made it make sense in his mind. I’m also not about to give an anatomy lesson in Walmart.

“Yes, so my friends are just letting their bodies be for now.”

“That’s probably smart.”

Did I handle this all perfectly? No. Should I have corrected him? Maybe, but in this situation I don’t think correcting him was not the right answer. He was able to make things make sense for himself. Even if it’s not the most accurate I watched it click in his brain and I’m not about to undo that. 

[crossdreamers]

In Praise of Medieval Lesbians Accidentally Having a Baby

Erik Wade has published a twitter-thread on lesbians  in Medieval Europe. The thread is relevant to all LGBTQA people, because it tells us something about how historians and other writers have censored the history of sexuality and gender in order to make sure that no queer role models remained.

Erik Wade writes:

Here's a AMAZING 12th-century Middle Irish story about lesbians accidentally having a baby. A woman asked the king to determine her baby's father, bc she hadn't sex with a man in a long time. The king asked if she'd had sex with a woman. The woman said yes. 

While they were there, a woman came to the king carrying a boy-child, and put him into the king’s arms. ‘For your kingship and your sovereignty,’ said she, ‘find out for me through your ruler’s truth who the carnal father of this boy is, for I do not know myself. For I swear by your ruler’s truth, and by the King who governs every created thing that I have not known guilt with a man for many years now,’

The king was silent then. ‘Have you had playful mating with another woman?’ said he, ‘and do not conceal it if you have.’ ‘I will not conceal it,’ said she; ‘I have.’ ‘It is true,’ said the king. ‘That woman had mated with a man just before, and the semen which he left with her, she put it into your womb in the tumbling, so that it was begotten in your womb. That man is the father of your child, and let it be found out who he is.’

The king basically says, "Oh, then she must have had sex with her husband beforehand, and the semen fell into your womb during your 'tumbling.'"

Immediately, a MAN FALLS OUT OF THE SKY. He introduces himself as a priest who made a deal with a demon. The demons had been carrying him through the air for 7 years, but they were overhead when the king was speaking, & the truth made the demons scatter, freeing the priest.

While they were there they heard a noise coming towards them out of the sky, and they saw a strange malignant spectre falling to the floor of the assembly, putting men and horses to flight; nobody stayed in the assembly but the king and a few people around him. ‘What are you?’ said the king. ‘A human being,’ said he. “What put you in that plight?’ said the king. ‘I will tell you,’ said he. ‘I am in fact the priest of Inis Bó Finne,' and I had built a house, and there was no craftsman in the world that I thought good enough to make the woodwork. And a demon came to me in the shape of a man, and he made the woodwork in the house, and he would take no payment except that I should bow down to him. And I bowed down to him then, and I was seized by swelling pride and a wave of vainglory and I was caught up into flight and the demons took me away with them, and they have been ruling me for seven years now. But when you gave that fine righteous judgment this morning on the woman who came to plead with you, we happened to be above you at that time. The vapour, then, which arose from you when you became red flew up and scattered the demons in all directions, and they were unable to hold me in the air, so that I fell down through the truth of your rulership — the true judgment vou gave on...

The story's relative lack of criticism of two women having sex is noteworthy, and *once again* suggests that the history of queerness is a lot more complicated than "the Middle Ages were oppressive/homophobic." The king assumes correctly that women often had sex together.

This story appears in several versions after this. It appears in a 15th-century manuscript, in an apologue to a 16th-century bardic poem (written for a famous judge!) and in another 16th-century version. Some of these versions were less explicit, but none condemn the women.

In the 16th-century poem, the woman claims she's never had sex with a man and the King asks if she's ever "play[ed]" with another woman, laying beside her or letting her "lie between [her] thighs." The woman says yes, and the king says that woman's husband is the father.

‘Be in no doubt regarding anything that I say to you; even if it were not considered [possible], o king, no man has ever sinned with me.’

‘Did you ever,’ said Niall, ‘please confirm this for me, engage in [erotic fore-]play with another woman; did she ever place her body side by side with your fair body, or did she ever lie between your thighs?’

The lady admitted to the king in a soft regal voice: ‘It happens that such [a woman] did indeed lie in my bed, if that be a sin,’

Then spoke the high-king of swift intellect: ‘find out who is the husband of that woman, and I swear to you by God’s great will that he is the father of your only son.’

The part considered too risque to discuss is the semen, NOT the women having sex together. Later, in the 20th century, people refused to translate these texts because of the women having sex with each other. That was a *modern* anxiety, not a medieval one.

The second 16th-century version (this one in prose) is my FAVORITE, because, in this version, the woman tells the king that her lover had sex with her bc her lover's husband couldn't satisfy her (unlike the woman, who def could).

It was Niall Frasach son of Fergal son of Mdel Duin, high king of Ireland, who made the famous judgement for the woman regarding her child at the fair of Tailtiu, when she said that she did not know who the father of her child was, and she swore that she had no husband and that he (the father?) had not been shown to her in a dream. Niall asked had another woman lain with her. “Yes,’ said she. ‘What did she want with you?” ‘Her husband had lain with her,’ said she, ‘and she was not satisfied by him and she lay with me to quench her desire.’ ‘True,’ said Niall; ‘the semen which her husband left with her, she left with you, so that that man is the father of your child.”

In that moment the people attending the fair were shadowed by a dark cloud of demons above them in the air, and one of the demons fell to the ground in Tailtiu in front of the men of Ireland, i.e. the priest of Inisbofin. And he explained that Niall had been sanctified, and that it was the smoke of that fine judgement which had scattered the demons around him on all sides. And the priest asked Niall to pray on his behalf to deliver him from torment, and Niall did that and it was successful. It was on the night of Niall’s birth that the three showers showered down from Heaven as the poet sang...

There is a LOT happening in this story. The priest sells himself to the devil for nice woodwork, the devils just carry him around for years, etc. But the central claim is that a king's truthful judgment scatters demons. The truth of lesbians drives demons away. 

Screenshots from the below. Translations from Damian Mcmanus's article "Niall Frosach's 'Act Of Truth': A Bardic Apologue In A Poem For Sir Nicholas Walsh" & David Greene's “The ‘Act of Truth’ in a Middle-Irish Story,” Saga och Sed (1976).

I will add, before people scream anachronism, that the term "lesbian" is attested referring to women who have sex with women in the Middle Ages, AND I use it as a deliberate choice of queer historiography, following Valerie Traub, Bernadette Brooten, Anne Lasykaya, etc.

More here!

See also my post on the poem written by a Medieval transgender woman.

[goosemixtapes]

ok i’ve elected to just Make The Damn Post My Damn Self because i need something to link back to when i inevitably get into arguments about this because i have run-my-mouth disorder. so. slightly-more-generally-applicable companion piece to this post:

“but how can lesbians use he/him pronouns???!?1???”

1: pronouns =/= gender.

one of the arguments i see a lot with this topic is “pronouns = gender, & saying otherwise is transphobic.” i GET this, because pronouns are important & often correlate with gender, but saying pronouns = gender is oversimplified. pronouns are a method of gender presentation - same as clothing, name, & so on & so forth. society genders all of these things, but names & clothing do not prescribe gender. a man, cis or trans, who decides to wear a dress does not become a woman because of the dress; a woman, cis or trans, with a traditionally “masculine” name (ex. bailey, taylor, cameron), does not become a man because of the name. closeted trans people, if they must use names and wear clothing correlated with their agab, are still trans & are still the gender they are.

yes, most binary-gendered people choose clothing & names that “match” their gender, but some might not! think of butch lesbians -- they are women, just deliberately gendernonconforming women. pronouns are the same way -- the majority of men use “masculine” pronouns, & the majority of women use “feminine” pronouns, but this is because pronouns are a form of gender expression/presentation.

“pronouns =/= gender” does not equate to “i can misgender whoever i want.” pronouns should always be respected.

2: nonbinary people can use whatever pronouns they want.

this follows from #1. yeah, i’d say the majority of nonbinary people use they/them pronouns. but not all nonbinary people dress totally androgynously; some present more feminine or more masculine. the same is true for pronouns. nonbinary people may use she/her or he/him pronouns as part of their presentation - think of jonathan van ness (uses primarily he/him) or rebecca sugar (uses she/her along with they/them). this isn’t even getting into neopronouns; that’s a whole different post. the point is that restricting nonbinary people to they/them pronouns really misses the point of identifying as nonbinary: it’s not a third slot in the gender binary; it’s the general state of existing outside or partially outside of it.

(note: cis people can also use whatever pronouns they want. some cis lesbians use he/him; i’ll get to he/him lesbians a few slots down, but i just want to make it clear that sometimes cis people also use pronouns to express gender nonconformity & that’s their business & the same idea!)

3: lesbians can be nonbinary.

nonbinary =/= totally genderless. sometimes, for some people, it does mean that! but not for everyone. see #2 again, on trying to make nonbinary a strictly defined third gender.

(note: this doesn’t only apply to lesbians. this honestly applies to anyone. i’m just talking about lesbians because that’s My Lane.)

lesbians in particular often have complex relationships with gender, & have for literal decades. as womanhood is to a large degree constructed in contrast to & in relation to manhood, lesbian gender has kind of taken on its own thing since we just... are never in relationships with men, ever, which muddles the whole thing up. (also, womanhood is often a generally uncomfortable and muddled thing because of, you know, misogyny, so there’s that.) thus, a lot of lesbians feel disconnected from “womanhood” as an idea.

a lot of people like to protest nonbinary lesbians by saying “but a lesbian is a GIRL who likes GIRLS!!!1!!” yes. we... we know. the thing is, though, that if any nonbinary person identifies as a lesbian, they are probably close enough to womanhood to count as a wlw! the term “lesbian” automatically brings “women who love women” to people’s minds. if a nonbinary person is uncomfortable associating with womanhood at all, literally why would they use that term. it stands to reason that the people who DO use that term feel at least a tangential connection there.

a lot of lesbians define their gender solely as “lesbian.” in my own experience, the ONLY connection i feel toward womanhood is liking girls in a gay way. the attraction i feel toward women is gay attraction - i am attracted to women who like women. i do not want to date a straight woman who sees me as a man. if i didn’t like women, i wouldn’t have this connection & would probably identify otherwise - but i do like women & as it is that’s pretty much... what my gender is. (this is why people may say their gender is “butch” or “femme” -- it’s the same idea of a gender defined by attraction & the way you relate to women!)

for some people, nonbinary does mean totally genderless. for others, it just means anything that isn’t strictly binary. hence why some lesbians may consider themselves nonbinary - not entirely woman, but woman enough to be a lesbian. an example in layman’s terms: you know how “berry” lacroix tastes like it maybe saw a berry, once, from a distance? my gender is lacroix and the flavor is woman.

4: lesbians can thus use whatever pronouns they want.

i think this one is like... a geometry proof. #2 (nonbinary people can use any pronouns) + #3 (lesbians can be nonbinary) makes this one pretty simple. while the rest of this post will be about he/him lesbians, because that’s what i see the most “discourse” about, lesbians can use she/her or they/them or he/him or it/its or xe/xem or Any Other Pronouns They Want. Any.

5: “but why would a lesbian ever want to use he/him pronouns?”

people who ask this are usually asking one of these more specific questions:

“but if you use he/him, aren’t you a man?” see #1.

“but why would lesbians want to use masculine pronouns when lesbianism is about women?” i don’t know. why do butch lesbians dress masculinely? why do they often use masculine names or nicknames? it’s about the deliberate gender nonconformity, something that has been central to lesbian communities for literal decades. pronouns are another form of presentation (see #1); using pronouns other than she/her is another form of nonconformity.

“masculine clothing and names i get -- but why pronouns? that feels a little much.” i do get this! i used to feel the same way! but the criteria for being a lesbian is like... 1) not a man 2) a woman or at least sort of connected to being a woman (see #3) (yes, this includes trans lesbians, who are not men) 3) attracted to women and not men. that’s the criteria. that’s all.

& i would like to think that some of you have the best intentions. but i would really, really caution you away from trying to disqualify people from iding as lesbians because of the pronouns they use. saying “well, clearly lesbians can wear masculine clothes and have masculine names, but the pronouns are a step too far” doesn’t make any sense -- where do you draw the line? at what point are you trying to define when someone is “too masculine to be a lesbian?” and why do you feel the need to do that?

this goes double for nonlesbians. i’ll repeat: really, honestly ask yourself why you feel the need to do that.

(note: butch lesbians aren’t the only lesbians who are gender nonconforming and they aren’t the only ones who use he/him pronouns! but i’ve found this is very common among butches, more so than other lesbians, + it’s another space where i can speak from personal experience.)

6: “wait but this feels kind of TERFy. are you saying trans men can be lesbians?”

oh no. oh god no. lesbians = not men. trans men = men. (& trans women = trans women, & TERFS can choke.)

i think there is a misconception among some trans men (especially transmedicalists) that he/him lesbians are trying to tell trans men they aren’t “real men” & thus undermining their identities. the idea is that we’re saying, “hey, look, lesbians can use whatever pronouns we want! thus, you don’t need to transition :) you can use he pronouns and still be a gay woman :)” to which the obvious response is “i’m not a woman and this is transphobic.”

but i... honestly truly have never seen a he/him lesbian say that. we aren’t the same! even if we use the same pronouns, even if we may take some of the same steps to feel gender euphoria (ex. wearing more masculine clothing, binding/going on T for afab lesbians), we are not the same! trans men = men. men cannot be lesbians. he/him lesbians = people who are not men, but have a complicated relationship to womanhood. thus:

he/him lesbians =/= trans men.

there is no correlation.

(note: i lied. there is one correlation. the correlation is friends and allies. trans men i’m on your team and i hope you’re having a good day. my right to exist is not mutually exclusive with yours; we’re fighting similar battles.)

7. “okay, i guess, but i still don’t really get it?”

that’s okay!! gender is confusing as shit (plus this was a long & slightly repetitive post, because i wanted to make sure i covered all my bases). here are some things you can do if you still don’t understand:

a) talk to more he/him lesbians! maybe my explanation doesn’t really do it for you, but someone else’s will! (if you’re interested in lesbian history, i can recommend stone butch blues, which can be downloaded as a PDF from leslie feinberg’s website. the main character’s relationship to gender isn’t quite the same as the one explained in this post -- jess has to use he/him & pass as male to stay safe -- but it’s still a good read that gets into the complexity of lesbian gender. the lesbian mc participates in butch/femme culture, gets top surgery, & later has a relationship with a trans woman -- so, basically, corroborating what i’ve said about how lesbians can do all of these things & still be lesbians.)

b) if you don’t have the time/energy/desire to talk to more he/him lesbians, that’s fine! just respect us. respect our pronouns. don’t misgender us; don’t call us men or say we aren’t lesbians. you don’t have to get it to accept us.

c) here’s a secret. if you still don’t understand, but you are no longer seeking help understanding & you’ve decided to just vibe and respect us without totally Getting It - that is totally fine. you don’t need to tell us this :) saying “hey, i don’t really get it, could you help?” is one thing. saying “hey, i still don’t get it. not asking for help, just letting you know” is uh. is like. um. okay thanks for informing me?? i guess ??

i understand that not everyone will Get It. but if you’re using my pronouns & respecting my identity, i do not need to hear that you don’t actually get it because my gender is super complicated. it is a little, er, how you say, impolite. (again - not the same as asking for help! i’m totally open to answer any questions anyone has.)

_______________________________________________________________________

source: i am a he/him lesbian.

you are allowed & politely encouraged to reblog this post.

if anyone would like to add to this post -- particularly other lesbians and/or trans women (as i’m tme and don’t want to overstep) -- feel free!

if anyone would like to ask me to elaborate on something, feel free to ask in the reblogs, replies, or in my inbox/dms!

if anyone would like to clown on this post and say some lesbophobic or transphobic bullshit without reading what i wrote, please block me, log off, & go trip over something <3

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

[ao-21]

BARE WITH ME. This is going to be very long and I am writing this at midnight.

this is the first fic I have written and probably the only fic I will ever write, I needed to get this out of my system.

I have been thinking about this for a while and this is just basically gonna be the full back/life story of Will Solace that I headcannon.

So let's start at the beginning:

Naomi Solace mother of Will Solace as per the books is a country singer and it was said that she was a kind hearted person as was stated in the trails of apollo (I don't remember which book specifically, but it was stated). This is unfortunately all we know about her.

In my head- while the toa is happening(around 2012-2013)- Naomi is basically as famous as Beyoncé, Whitney, Brittany Spears molded together -and just as talented as amazing as them) and is basically a household name.

So as per my previous post when I did the timeliness of events for the series, let's say Will was born in 1995 which would make him 15 during the trials of Apollo (I know in my timeline post I said he would be 16 but I have decided to bump him done an age because of how old Nico would have been and people had a problem with him being so much older).

So in 1995 Will was born in early September maybe late August to keep in time the birthday the Fandom came up for him.

This means Naomi and Apollo would have met in November/December of 1994. At this point in time Naomi is 23 and and just released her third country album and it was a big hit and quite popular.

They met at a charity event were they both are going to perform on stage. When it is Naomi's turn to perform Apollo is totally blown away by how talented and amazing she is, and he has to met her. They met stuff happens blah blah blah and it ends in a onenightstand, and they never see each other again until after Will is born.

Naomi is the daughter of grandma Solace and Granpa Solace (I don't care enough to give them actually names and I will be referring to them as such) she is the middle child in a family of nine siblings, yes nine -this would make her child number 5- and she is very close to all her siblings but she is the closest to Anna(child number 4), as there is only 10 months age difference between them and their practically twins.

Anna Solace is a transgenger woman who came out to her family when she was 13 and was met with acceptance and love and support from her parents and siblings and was allowed to transition asap. She is ace/aro and perfectly happy being single and child free but she still spoils her neices and nefews and she is Wills godmother. She is a fashion designer and the ceo of a big company that is 100% vegan, animal cruelty free, and practices humain treatment towards all workers who are paid liveable wage of I don't know 20$ an hour(I don't know how money works in America) plus they all get free paid for health care for them and their families.

Grandma Solace is the only daughter of a family of 5 children. And because she was the only girl with 4 brothers in the early 1900s she was not given an education and she was basically mistreated by her brothers and her father. I'd like to say they had a poorish family and where underprivileged so they didn't really have much. Then came into their lives Grandpa Solace who came from a wealthy family (handsomely rich family) who would so to school with one of Gran Solaces brother and he basically fell head over heels in love with gran Solace the first time they met.

Grandpa Solace is the sole surving child of the Solace family as his sister died from offing herself and his identical twin brother, Andrew(this is important later) was murdered by a bunch of the guys from his school when they were 19 because Andrew was gay. And thus leaving Grandpa Solace the sole inheriter of the Solace family riches.

When gran and gramps got married and had kids they decided to raise all there kids to be accepting and kind toward all people regardless of their skill color sexuality and gender and be open and welcome to lgbtq+ people because Grandpa Solace saw how all the homophobia from his parents and the community had a negative affect on his twin brother and he didn't want his kids to live in pain and suffer the way his brother suffered.

Nine kids later and they have taught all there children to be accepting loving kind people, even though they had lived in Texas for basically ever.

Child 1- boy, born a year after his parents got married, never marries however he is a 'player' and has live five daughters all from different mothers the oldest being 23 during toa and the youngest 5. He is a history professor at Harvard University.

Child 2- a housewife with 3 kids however she is a lawyer but decided when her kids were born to be a stay-at-home-mom but she still works part time as a lawyer on the side. Married a man who would be your typical himbo dad

Child 3- gynecologist who specializes in helping transgender youth, she is the first practicing female gynecologist in America. Has 2 kids, a lesbian and lives with her girlfriend as gay marriage is not legal as yet.

Child 4- Anna Solace, transwoman, ace/aro, she was explained above.

Child 5- Naomi Solace, country singer, one kid, married- will be explained later in more detail.

Child 6- architect, married, 4 kids (a man)

Child 7- boy, dentist, lives with girlfriend one kid.

Child 8- studying to be a brain surgeon, unmarried, no kids, nonbinary

Child 9- Jonathan Solace, born in 1991, boy, he is gay, just started his first year of collage during toa, gas a boyfriend , no kids.

January 1995, Naomi finds out she is pregnant, goes all out and plans everything she is going to teach her child when they are born by making binders of everything from cooking and baking to how to drive to cleaning etc. Incase she dies when her child is young, they will be prepared for anything.

When she is five months pregnant, she met's this guy who is a British actor and like a cross between Chris Hemsworth, Ryan renalds, and just basically the perfect, most polite handsome man, manly because he is pansexual, and falls in love at first site when he met's her at an awards show and they become friends.(p.s. his name is Jeremy)

2 months after they met, and Naomi is 7 months pregnant, he asks her out on a date, and they later get married when Will is three.

When her pregnancy is announced to the fans,it's kinda implied that Jeremy is Wills father, and while he knows he is not, his name is on Wills birth Certificate and he was there when he was born, he treats Will as if he is his own child and he loves Will.

So august/september 1995, Naomi had a girl who she named AuroraSolace, but she did raise her child to know what transgender and nonbinary is so if her child wanted to be referred to by another name or different pronouns they knew it was okay.

So when aurora was 4 years old, she told her mom that she wants to be referred to as a boy and called another name Naomi and their whole family were supportive and welcoming about it, and he was thus named William Andrew Solace, after Naomis favorite poet William wordsworth and his grandfather's twin brother Andrew, as he was the first grandson of the family. ( I'm sorry if this doesn't really make sense, i hope you understand what I was trying to say,about this whole Will being trans, I didn't mean to offend anyone, or say something that was offensive as I am cisgender and do not actually know what it is like ,sorry)

So Will is transgender, and gay (I know another of people headcanon hom to be bi but I've seen so many relashinships where one was gay and the other was bi(and there's nothing wrong with that I myself am bi) but I've just seen too much of it that I just want two gay boys)

End of part 1 I'll finish part two later because I'm tired and I have a headache and it's like nearly 1 in the morning.