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webofstories · 3 years

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A Fool Like Me - Arvin Russell *Smut*

Summary: It's your first time since you wanted to save it for marriage and Arvin is ready to make it special for you.

Note: who next?

Warnings: fluff smut, praise, touching, oral (fem receiving), just vanilla

Everyone who knew Arvin Russell knew he was rough around the edges. He was like a prickly rose, only to others, the rose blossom didn't exist. Arvin was extremely misunderstood and you hated it, but in this car, wearing white as you observed him driving in his suit, you knew you had the blossom.

"Well," Arvin chuckled, cheeks pink as his tongue grazed over his drying lips, "Guess yer' a Russell now."

You smiled.

"Yes sir, I am," you giggled, "Yer' wife, to be exact."

Arvin rolled his eyes, but he smiled. He smiled cause he knew he had you forever and you weren't going anywhere. That thought alone made him the happiest man alive.

"Our honeymoon is gon' be in that cabin we found during that roadtrip." Arvin spoke, "It's a rental now."

Your heart jumped and your eyes widened, happy as can be. You were overjoyed, you loved that cabin, you told Arvin countless times about how you wished to go there for your honeymoon but you didn't expect it.

Arvin looked over at you and smiled, seeing how happily his newly wed wife was. It sent a shiver to his heart.

"Thank you, Arvin!" You squealed, throwing your arms around his torso as he smiler, "Oh, thank you!"

His scent wrapped around you like a blanket, keeping you warm as your body pressed against his. Arvin put an arm around you and back on the wheel. He loved your body on his.

You knew what I meant to be married now. You were each other's forever- no leaving. No giving up and quiting, things were all together now. That means becoming even more.

You and Arvin have only had intimate make outs and a little bit of undressing, but when it got serious, Arvin always stopped it because he knew you wanted to wait until marriage. 3 years later and it's finally here, you just didn't know how Arvin felt.

It wasn't long until you pulled into the driveway of the cabin. It was beautiful, red rose petals surrounding your feet as Arvin gently swooped you off the ground and into his arms. You squealed and fell into giggles, hearing Arvin chuckle at your reaction. You love this man.

Once you two were through the threshold, your eyes went wide. Arvin was studying your face closely as you took in everything around you, rose petals as red as Arvin's cheeks scattered in a trail leading down the hall with candles lit everywhere. Fire hazard? Maybe... but you were stunned.

"Oh, Arv..." you whispered under your breath, looking around in awe. Arvin awaited your next words anxiously.

"It's absolutely beautiful," Is all you could manage saying, so starstruck from the surprise.

Arvin let out a sigh of relief, knowing the time he put into making this happen in hopes you'd like it. He smiled softly and placed a hand on your back, gently guiding you down the path of petals as you admired the twinkling candle lights.

As you rounded the hallway, you stepped into a bedroom, a gasp escaping your lips as you looked around.

There was a giant bed with rose petals and roses scattered all over it, candles on the bed side table illuminating the room. Your heart felt full as you blushed deeply, facing Arvin.

"It's alrigh' if yer not ready, sweetheart." He spoke softly, caressing your cheekbone, "I just-"

"I'm ready."

Arvin's eyes went wide, positioning his hands on your hips as he stood infront of you.

"Ya are?"

"Yes, for a while now, actually..." you whispered, pushing Arvin's hand towards the back of your dress.

Arvin took the hint and gently tugged the zipper, pulling it all the way down before the straps were loose on your shoulders. Arvin eyed you before pushing them off, watching as your dress pooled around your feet.

Arvin was lost in lust but mostly love. Admiring your body, he pulled you into him, kissing you softly.

"Yer so beautiful," he mumbles, "Damn angel is what ya are."

You felt your cheeks heat up from the compliments. You watched him unbutton his shirt and toss it on the floor, eyes never leaving yours. You were in nothing but your undergarments, Arvin too.

"Darlin'?"

"Yes?"

Arvin grabbed your bare hips and pulled you into his hard chest. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I love you," he whispers, "More than anythin'."

Your smile beamed up at him, shiney and bright. There was so much love in the room that it couldn't go unnoticed.

Arvin had two protective arms wrapped around you before gently pressing his lips to yours, kissing you passionately.

You made a soft quiet noise against his lips out of delight, telling Arvin he could continue. He suddenly pick you up, wrapping your legs around his waist at you giggled. He walked over to the bed and gently laid you down on it before crawling over you, more laughter coming from you.

"Well ain't you just a giddy lil thing," Arvin chuckles, a smile on his face. You blushed, hiding your face in his neck.

Arvin's hands roamed your body a little, silently asking for permission everytime he touched a more daring spot. He knew you were subconscious and insecure but he made sure to put those thoughts to ease.

"Damn stunnin'."

"My pretty girl."

"My my... all mine?"

He had already slipped off the rest of your clothes, leaving him in only boxers too. You were beyond nervous and it showed, which made Arvin cautious.

"We ain't gotta do nothin'," he coos, pulling you into his lap, palming your thighs with locked eyes, "Ya know I'll never pressure ya-"

You cut him off with a bit of force as you smash your lips together. Arvin grunted, squeezing your thighs as he let out a soft moan against your lips. You wanted to show him you love him, not just to "fuck". You wanted to make love to Arvin.

"Please, Arvin, I want to." You spoke with a small smile, "I want you to make love to me."

Arvin searched your eyes for what felt like minutes. He was looking for something... hesitation, uncertainty, maybe even doubt. He found none, just as you expected.

You slowly slid your hands down his chest, lingering lower and lower, hoping to get something started. Arvin's eyes widened when he realized as he quickly grabbed your arms, flipping you over in a blink so he could hover over your naked body.

"Nah, hun," Arvin chuckled, kissing your neck lightly, making you let out a breath, "Tonight is about you,"

"Arv-"

"Hush now, let me focus on pleasin' my pretty lady." He smirked, making your down area tingle a bit. You bit your lip as you felt his lips kiss down your body.

Starting at your jaw, he made a line of soft, wet kisses to your neck, where he sucked on your sweet spot hard enough to leave a work of art there. He pulled back and observed the darkening hickey with a smile, glad to mark you.

"You're so beautiful," he mumbles before trailing kisses down to your breasts where he gently takes one in his hand and other softly in his mouth, slowly grazing his tongue over your sensitive bud.

"Ah," you moaned out, loving the way it felt.

"So good." he grunted, repeating his actions, "Love yer noise,"

You moaned again which only made him more eager. Gently trailing down your body with his lips, Arvin pushed your legs up and apart, leaving you to feel his hot breath on your core. You gasped, shocked at how good just his breath felt.

You looked down at his beautiful features and was surprised at how sexy the southern boy looked between your thighs, looking up at you for permission. All you could muster was a nod before closing your eyes and looking up.

The feeling of Arvin's wet tongue gliding between your soaked slit caused a high pitched moan to escape your lips. Your body felt estatic, breathing heavy already. You felt him lick you up again, making you moan once more.

Arvin grabbed your hips and pushed his face further into you, causing his tongue to graze your entrance.

"Ah- Arvin!" You moaned out, hands flying to grip his hair.

"Yer doin' so good, darlin'." Arvin spoke encouragingly before he continued to eat you out.

It was fantastic. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you struggled to catch your breath. You arched yourself against him, making him go deeper, erupting a soft moan to come out of you once more.

Right before you were about to cum, Arvin pulled away. Your core felt colder than ever as you frowned.

He positioned himself between you, face an inch from yours. His lips pressed against yours to create a soft, tender, loving kiss that had your body at ease. This love was only getting stronger.

"I'd do anythin' for you." Arvin whispers, staring into your eyes, "You know that."

You nodded, smiling at him as you cup his face in your hands.

"So, if ya wanna stop, that's fine," he whispered, "I'll wait."

"I'm ready now, Arv." You laughed to him, his worry in his face, "It's okay."

Arvin rolled his eyes but smiled, looking between your bodies before looking back at you. You were so close together, closer than ever before, and you loved it.

"I'm gonna go, alright?" Arvin mumbled, his southern accent seeping into his words, "It might hurt, but I opened ya up a little. Just tell me to stop and I will, always."

You nodded, smiling up at him and his support. In a slow, painful movement, Arvin pushed himself inside you.

You hissed loudly, face screwed in pain. Arvin bottomed out before stopping, eyes wide as he grew concerned.

"Are you alright?" He questioned frantically, almost pulling out but you stopped him.

"N-No, don't stop." You spoke, "Keep going."

Arvin looked hesitant, but did as you said. Slowly and hesitantly, he started thrusting gently, holding your hands in his. The pain you were feeling was hurtful in such a sensitive area, but you felt it fading away everytime Arvin pushed back into you.

"Keep going," you moaned out softly, urging Arvin to continue. His heart fluttered when he heard your moan, being less cautious and more loving with you.

His thrusts were slow and lingering, pulling out all the way before slowly pushing back in until he bottomed out inside you. Your moans and soft calls of Arvin's name filled the room as Arvin showed you how much he loved you.

"Ah- fuck." Arvin groaned into your neck, pausing for a moment. Even though he wasn't a virgin, he was feeling overwhelming pleasure from how tight you were.

"Are you okay?" Sweet Y/N asked, looking at her husband. He pulled his head away and smiled down at her, kissing her softly.

"Yea," he spoke, "Just happy I found the love of my life."

You blushed and he continued his thrusts, making your stomach erupt into butterflies. You moaned out softly, breathing heavy despite the slow pace. But you loved it, you loved the love, the warmth, the feeling of home, all of it.

"I'm close, Arvin." You moaned out, gripping his hands tight.

"Me too, darlin'," he panted, "Just let it go."

And you did. Your vision blurred as your climax rolled over you, head to toe. Arvin pulled out of you and followed suit, a spew of soft curses leaving hid lips. You smiled at him, panting slightly.

Arvin fell down next to you on the bed, immediately hooking his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. You winced, feeling tender from what you and Arvin just did.

"Thank you," you said with a smile, turning to face him.

"No, thank you." Arvin said with love in his eyes as he caresses your cheekbone with his thumb.

You looked at him in confusion.

"For what?"

Arvin sighs before pulling you to lay on top of him, both arms wrapped around your bare body as he covers you both with the white sheets.

"For marrying a fool like me."

@mathletemadison

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flipchild · 2 years

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I know I said I'm changing my life but i have too many followers so I'm enhancing the natural unnatural fervor inherent to MY posting style. THEN I'm cleaning and filling out forms and check lists and send email. And all of those with a professional grin, like a businessman sitting in the grass with two others of his kind, looking out over Buffalo, NY. Life could be so, so much worse. That's the main theme it projects into you, projects onto you. It's freezing outside. You like doing things you're good at, but you don't necessarily like your job. Which doesn't make sense to you: it pays well, you've made friends out of coworkers and maintained a successful work relationship– enhanced, even, for its breadth and ±duplicity. The work environment is fine. You're good at your job. What is the source of this profound full-body unhappiness over the big picture when every detail feels alright? It's probably something in the air, or in the water, or in the food, or in shampoo. You're not unhappy with your job, it's something else. Surely.

But yeah I'm doing my tasks in a professional style. Signed, The Happy Smiler

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weirdochick56 · 5 years

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Past Lives- Dean Winchester AU Chapter Two

Dean Winchester x Photographer!Reader

Warnings: None.

Disclaimers: I don’t own DW.

Word Count: 3, 073 words

Read Chapter One Here!!

***

(Gif isn’t mine!)

You have no idea why, but you feel dirty.

Well, that was a bit of lie. But, you didn’t exactly want to think about how heated mere memories made you feel when you were an engaged woman too much. You’d done enough of that already.

Your muscles ached softly when you stretched and you smelled of the airport. Like coffee, street and something...grey and bleak. Airport.

With a heavy sigh, you make your way over to the only bathroom in the house, towel in hand. As you step in, you feel a wave of strangeness wash over you. It wasn’t that you felt out of place in this house. You had lived in it for most of your life after all, but it was more like....the house itself was out of place. In your life.

You’d been living in a huge penthouse for the last few years so and being back here felt...strange. The house felt out of place, like a puzzle piece that only made up a part of your past but not your present or future.

The notion made you oddly sad and you feel your heart squeeze painfully in your chest.

But you shake away the thoughts the best you can. You’d been gone a long time, there was no need to feel like that anymore. It was all nonsense anyway.

Stepping closer to the tub, you turn on the water and feel for the warmest setting. You needed some of that to sink into your skin, make you feel a bit better at least. Once you're satisfied with the temperature, you lean back, stretching your spine with a small grunt.

Slowly, you strip, stepping into the marble tub and releasing a small sigh of relief at the feeling of the warm water hitting your achy muscles, unwinding the knots almost entirely.

You wash your hair and condition it with some expensive shampoo and conditioner Dave had insisted smelled great on you. Ridding yourself of the knots with your fingers, you hum tunelessly to yourself and then lather some fruity body wash over your skin, scrubbing it until it became red.

When your skin and hair were so clean they squeaked, you step out of the shower, wrapping a towel securely around yourself.

Silently, you make your way around the house with surprising ease. Truly nothing had changed. And soon you found yourself exploring every room in the house with deep intrigue. The kitchen, the living room, your parents' room... Your father’s study...

You pause at the doorway with a harsh gulp, remembering where he was and what it must be like what he was going through.

Tears well up in your eyes, but you manage to blink them away as you step in further, fingertips brushing over dusty books and pens.

Nothing had changed.

Except maybe you.

When you were a little girl, your dad used to tug onto his lap every night and show you pictures. Pictures of your mom and him when they were younger, pictures of your uncles and aunts and your grandmother.

They fascinated you endlessly. The people in the picture, as well as the fact that pictures even existed at all, piqued your interest.

One day, you sat by your dad’s study, grasping the tiny picture he had offered you tightly in your hands. “Dad?” you asked quietly, examining the new black-and-white image closely.

He looks at you from above a stack of papers he was reading on his desk.

“How do you make pictures? Like, how can you make them capture a single moment like this?”

Your dad chuckles then lets out a hum that was a mixture of thoughtful and appreciative. “Well, that’s certainly an extremely grown-up way of putting it,” he compliments and you all but beam back at him, glowing at the praising words that only got you just a few steps away from the much-desired “big-girl” title.

He continues, scratching his neatly-trimmed beard. “It’s quite simple to take a picture hun. You simply point it at whatever it is you want to capture and then...” he makes believe like he’s holding up a camera to his face and presses his pointer finger down. “BAM. You take a picture. And there you go, that’s all there is to it.” He winks, letting his arms fall beside him and turning his attention back to some lawyer-related paper he had to sign.

You immediately deflate, the hope of finding something far more adventurous and intricate about cameras and photographs being squashed under your dad’s fancy leather shoes in a millisecond. Your ten-year-old heart was completely crushed.

Still, you hung onto the last shred of hope within you like your tender life depended on it. “But dad!!” You whine loudly. “Isn’t there something more?”

He frowns at you. “More?”

You nod frantically. “Yes, more. Like-like how the mechanisms of the camera work. You can simply expect me to believe you click on a button and then POOF,” you clap your small hands together. “A picture simply appears. There has got to be some machinery and gears doing something.” He opens his mouth to answer, but you’ve only just begun expressing your curiosities. “And! What about the story behind a picture?”

He tilts his head, a small smile on his face. “The story you say?”

You not frantically once more, shoving the image he’d handed you of a younger, smiling version and mom directly into his face. “Mhmm! You and mom seem so happy here, people don’t smile without a motive. I want to know what it is. You know, I can almost imagine it being you asking her out on a date or something,” you grin, showing off your gap-filled pearly whites.

Your dad stares at you blankly for a few minutes and you’re afraid you might’ve angered him with your exuberance, but then he throws his head back, laughing.

Which is a sense, way worse. Was he laughing at you? At the passionate questions that’d been eating you up since he’d started showing you photographs of people in his life?

“What’s so funny?”

He looks at you with a huge smile taking up almost half of his face and making you wonder how it hadn’t been split in half by now. His face was starting to wrinkle. Not like your old leather couch. Dad wasn’t that old, more like...happy wrinkles. You know, the ones that form around your eyes and your nose and the corners of your mouth when you smile too much?

Well, your dad had a lot of those. He was a natural-smiler. He smiled no matter what.

“Nothing’s funny hun. It’s just...you’re a curious kid. Which is good! But...you’re ten. How in the holy heck do you know what a date stands for?”

You shrug.

He shakes his head, sighing exasperatedly even though you know he could never be tired of talking to you about photographs. Especially if they involved mom. “Tell you what. How about I lend you a book to explain everything about how a camera works and I’ll tell you why your mom and I are so happy in this picture in exchange for a kiss on the cheek?”

You immediately nod, jumping into his lap and peppering his face with kisses.

That evening, you sit in your baby blue bedroom, a huge book on cameras and their general functions laid out on your lap. You read and looked at the pictures with rigorous eyes, trying to wrap your tiny brain around the utter beauty of cameras and their ideals.

You flipped through pictures in the book and paused to look at the one your dad had given you earlier. He explained that he and your mom were smiling because they’d gotten your grandparents' blessing to marry.

It made you want to capture more moments like these. With people you loved just looking happy.

Who would’ve thought that later on, pain would be your real forte?

With a small sad huff, you make your way out of the study, closing the door silently behind you. The place that once brought you the greatest amount of joy, now brought you the greatest amount of sadness.

Your father had been your best friend and now he was all messed up in some hospital and you hadn’t been here for him all that much. You can feel the familiar guilt eating away at your gut as you nibble on your lip silently.

You were going to see him first thing tomorrow. But for now, you needed something to calm your nerves down. A drink maybe?

Whilst thinking over where you were going to go to get said drink, you realize your body felt a bit dried out from the cold air nipping at the bare skin. So you decide to get dressed, heading over to your room and fishing out a bottle of cream from your suitcase and spreading a bit of it all over your skin.

When you were done getting dressed into a flowy red dress that wrapped around your waist tightly then fanned out towards the bottom and a pair of black heels, you smile comfortably, deciding to go natural on your make up. Mascara and red lipstick was the lightest you’d gone for a while with makeup and it made you feel great.

Dave had made it a point to express his full adoration for your bare face, telling you constantly how you were beautiful either way and reassuring you of your “natural beauty” as much as he could.

But when you were thrown into his world, the world of the elite new yorkers, models, wives of millionaires, you knew that just you- with your simple clothing and minimal makeup- wasn’t enough. So you took it up a notch, buying flattering, over-the-top the dresses and shoes. Doing your make up as glamorous as possible.

You fit right in.

Dave was pleasantly surprised and showered you with compliments like never before.

And yet...standing here, your face mostly bare, your small imperfections on full display...made you feel utterly powerful. Confident in your own skin. There wasn’t a barrier hiding it anymore but you didn’t feel like you needed it either way.

Finally settling for a bar you hoped hadn’t been taken away since you’d last been here, you tug on your purse filled with your lipstick gum and phone, and silently make your way out of the house, closing the door behind you.

A hot wind whisks past you and you feel a surge of relief for not wearing a lot of makeup.

As you make your way to the bar, walking through the suburban streets of Darkwell, eyes trained on your phone as you text your mom for details on your father, people you recognized right away stop and gawk. Many stop and whisper amongst themselves as your heels click on the hot gravel loudly.

For a moment, you want to shrink away from their judgy gazes and run the opposite direction. But you remind yourself you’re different now. You’re not the same insecure little girl all these people of Darkwell had come to know. You were older now. A mature, fiercely independent woman who was successful in her field and sure of herself and who didn’t need nor want anyone’s opinions, new or old.

So you straighten your back and raise your chin higher in the air, puffing your chest out slightly and sway your hips side to side with each stride.

This goes one until you come to a halt in front of the place you’d been seeking for the past fifteen minutes or so.

OLIVER’S BAR glared back at you, the neon sign not even on, but still as menacing as you had remembered. With a sly grin, you push the door open and walk in, eyes flickering around immediately.

The bar was fairly empty with only a few people hanging around and drinking beer. Granted, it was midday so no one except a few people were expected to be here. The big bar had been switched of sides and the chairs and stools were now made of dark mahogany wood, giving the whole place a dark and polished yet elegant atmosphere. But otherwise, the place looked the same.

As soon as you step in, a few gazes snap in your direction and you find yourself feeling small again. Like you did all those years ago when you were here.

Except back then, you were being protected by him so it wasn’t that bad. His arm was tightly wrapped around your waist, making it clear to everyone that you were his and that no one ought to mess with you.

Quickly, memories of you and him in this place flashback.

With a quick bit of your lip, you look up at Dean, who’s arm it wrapped securely around your waist.

“Dean, are you sure it’s okay that we’re here? “ Your voice trembled with slight worry. Men, much older burly and scary-looking than Dean, were eyeing you like you were a delicious fresh-out-of-the-oven piece of meat they were just about ready to gobble up whole.

But Dean doesn’t seem particularly concerned though, with his usual easy grin gracing his lips as he leans down, pecking your forehead softly and squeezing you to his side only a bit tighter. He offers the men a cool sweep with his green eyes and they snap their gazes elsewhere.

You’re left speechless at Dean’s power over these scary men and gaze up at him with a look of pure awe. “W-wha-”

A smirk takes over his plump pink lips. “All in a day’s work sweetheart.” Then he abruptly turns serious, his arm unwinding from your waist and his big warm hand gripping your arm firmly so you’re looking directly at him.

Your heart races at the look of pure sincerity in his breath-taking green eyes.

“Y/n, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you while you’re with me. You’re the most important person to me in the world, you have to trust me on that sweetheart.”

And then, without a warning, he leans down and presses his lips firmly to yours, simultaneously silencing any question bubbling up from your lips with his. It doesn’t take you long to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your lips to his with full intent.

And you were sure you weren’t exaggerating when in that very moment, you thought to yourself: nothing has ever tasted so sweet.

You flush at the memory and shake your head. You decisively approaching the bar with the soft click of your heels all the while ignoring people’s eyes on you, following your movements with close curiosity.

Heading over to a stool, you sit down, eyes searching for a single man.

Oliver was a long-time friend. He was slightly older, but he’d been there to see everything. You hadn’t talked to him since you’d left Darkwell, but you recognized him almost as soon as your eyes landed on his profile.

Oliver was talking to a man on the opposite end of the bar and you silently watched, eyes looking over Oli. You almost gasp. He looked radically different. Face slightly wrinkled, blue eyes dimmed significantly and the facial hair that was once light subtle on his long-ish face had been grown into a full beard and mustache. He looked...older.

Not wanting to interrupt what looked like a pleasant conversation, your gaze flickers over to the man Oliver was conversing with.

Even with his face looking away from you, like Oliver, only his profile visible, you could tell the man was incredibly handsome.

His short, spiky but soft dirty blonde hair went incredibly well with his lean physique. It was prominent under a tight-fitting plaid shirt which you had noticed back muscles straining against when he moved animatedly or talked with his hands. These, in themselves, were enough of a tell and alluded to his overall smoking-hotness. Long-fingered and a bit rough, they clasp together under a strong chin as he places his elbows on the bar and leans in a bit closer with interest. His sharp lightly stubble-filled jaw clenches almost in unison with the veins in his strong arms and you gulp lightly. His long lashes flutter slightly and his tongue slips in between his pink plump lips to lick them slowly.

Your body feels flushed for a second before a sudden feeling of utter dread settles in. You frown as your stomach drops. No other explanation appears in your brain other than...

This man looks familiar. The feelings you were getting from merely looking at him were familiar as well.

Familiar. Familiar. Familiar.

As you continue gazing at him, trying to make out his face desperately and sorting through your brain to find it in your stack of memories, Oliver looks in your general direction.

You catch his eye slightly and watch as he turns to look away before doing a double-take. You almost burst out giggling as his mouth stops moving, smile falling off his face and replaced with a look of pure and utter shock.

For a moment, you forget about your interest in the man sitting in front of Oli and hold his gaze, a grin spreading on your face as he gapes at you fully, eyes wide as saucers and jaw dropped.

You can’t make out anything he’s saying but you can see the frown on the man’s face as he snaps his fingers in front of Oli’s face to grasp his attention. The frown is on his handsome face intensifies when Oliver doesn’t waver, eyes scanning your face, unblinking. Almost as if unbelieving in the fact that you were actually there.

The man huffs at his failed attempts to catch the barman’s attention and finally decides to turn and see what it was that had Oliver so surprised.

You remember the man and your stomach swirls with anticipation in the single heartbeat it takes the man’s eyes slowly follow Oliver’s gaze...to you.

And then swiftly, that heartbeat slows down to an eternity.

Because as bright green eyes clash with your gaze, you realize the reason he seemed so familiar.

Only one other person ever made you feel like you just did by a mere glance at them.

Only one person in this entire world possessed the power to make you weak in the knees with only a quick look of those bright green eyes.

A gasp lodges itself in your throat as you stare up at the gorgeous man, eyes wide. Your heart races and then suddenly one heartbeat turns into five.. ten.. one hundred.. beats per second. Your head swims at the realization.

It’s him. It’s Dean Winchester.

***

Omomgomgomgomg

YASSS I’m so exciteddddddd!!!

I’m like, wheezing right now, I kid you not.

I’ll be updating my series nonstop for the next few weeks so be prepared because I’m gonna go crazy y’all!!

Anywho, leave feedback. Send me asks, messaged, leave replies, I see them ALL. (let me know if you want to be tagged to any of my works)

Love you guys!

A Special Thanks to:

@thewinchesterchronicles

@topthis808

@vvinch3st3r

@thorins-queen-of-erebor

And my lovely forevers!

@sherlockedtash88

@lilypalmer1987

@jessikared97

@mogaruke

Sorry it took so long!

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victorluvsalice · 7 months

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...where there was ANOTHER MASSIVE BLIZZARD. -.- That just figures, right? Felt like the entire game was against me opening the store at this point.

But! I was not going to give up on the grand opening so quickly! So, after taking some time to make sure all the shelves were fully stocked and everything on them was set for sale (which was a very tricky process, given I'm selling a lot of small items and if you turn the "for sale" tags on they can very easily overlap with each other and trick you into believing stuff is set for sale when it isn't), I took a few pictures to show you my lovely lovely full shelves, transferred some money from the gang's personal account to the business account --

And bought a weather machine! Because like HELL was I going to let this miserable weather stand when I had the power to change it. Alice got sent out to clear the skies while Victor and Smiler hung out inside chatting...

Aaaand, as you can see, she wasn't successful. In fact, she just got straight-up electrocuted, though I didn't manage to get a picture of that, unfortunately. She promptly ran inside to talk to the motivational posters instead (maybe she needed a pick-me-up after that), then serenaded Victor (still slightly smoking) while I sent Smiler outside to try their luck. Fortunately, THEY were able to get the result I wanted -- possibly because they have higher Handiness skill? I don't know, all I know is that they didn't get zapped.

However -- even the magic weather machine can't change the weather INSTANTLY. It was going to take some time for the snow to clear out. So Smiler came back in for a congratulatory kiss on the cheek, Victor Repairioed the busted sign above the bakery section (can't have broken stuff on the first day open)...

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #yeah I arrived in San Myshuno and was like 'what the hell'#'come on I imagine you as VERY far away from Henford-On-Bagley! You're supposed to have different weather!'#and then poor Alice got zapped and zapped good by the weather machine I bought #which I don't have a picture of because my mouse at the time kept double-clicking instead of single-clicking #meaning it was VERY hard for me to hit pause sometimes and get good pictures #although admittedly I was also distracted by a random pop-up from a random woman offering Smiler help with their infant #...don't worry you didn't miss anything the trio do NOT have kids #this game sometimes I swear #at least we got some cute Valicery moments #the trio are very much into serenading each other lately XD #it's cute and also very silly I like it #oh and yes if you have a lot of little products to sell don't turn the 'for sale' tags on #you will be LOST in a sea of red #I am thinking I have to seriously rejigger how this store works #too many little items to keep track of!#queued

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spooky-muldy · 6 years

Text

Emoji Movie Script

Here it is, Spanish version and other languages coming soon:

The world we live in. It's so wondrous, mysterious, even magical. No. No, not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program and app is its own little planet of perfect technology, all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text. Addie McAllister? Must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam. Don't send her your Social Security number. Dude. She's right there. That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, as the pace of life gets faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter and... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in, the most important invention in the history of communication... Emojis. That's my home. Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. The Christmas Tree just has to stand there all festive. Merry Christmas. It's still September, Tim. The Princesses... I am so pretty. They just got to wear their crowns and keep their hair combed. You guys, we are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up. They just show up, and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Crier always has to cry, even if he's just won the lottery. Hooray! I'm a billionaire! The Laugher is always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. I can see the bone! Now, me, I'm a Meh. So I got to be totally over it all the time, you know, like, "Meh, who cares?" Which is not as easy as it sounds. Morning, Mrs. D. I see you have the little minis with you. They're so cute. That is so adorable, I can't take it! Now I'll never get them to sleep. Stick to your one face, weirdo. No! No! It's hard to always act blase, when living in Textopolis is just so exciting. Hello, good simians. Those are some sharp attaches. Yes, well, we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. I sounded British! Meh. That was really good. Meh. Meh. That was a great... -Whatcha doing there, mate? -Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Boy. I'm gonna be so meh. What are you gonna do? Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Here's my sauce now. G'day, mate. Hey. Konnichiwa. Sorry, emoticons! I hate knocking over the elderly. Here, let me help, let me help. My colon! Is that the time? Hey, my eyes are up here, pal. Yeah! All right! Right on time. So, last week, Alex sends me next to this guy. That kid! Where does he get this stuff? Why are you laughing, freak? Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. In public. He was. I remember. Let's go somewhere more private. I have some bad news, Gene. And I'm afraid you'll have the wrong reaction. Okay. What's the wrong reaction? Anything other than "meh." Come on. I don't want to be late. I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, what? You're just not ready, son. Come on! Working in the cube is an emoji's whole purpose in life. Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me. Sweetie, that's not true. Yeah! I'm gonna work on the phone, and I'm only 10. That's because I believe in you. Should we wash our hands? No, no, no. We're number two! We're number two! We're number two! See? I... I know I'm different, okay? But when I need to, I can be meh. I just... I want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Like everybody else, and then... Then I would finally fit in, you know? You fit in, honey. No, I don't, Mom. I never have. But I can change all that if you'd just let me. Just give me a chance. But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No, Dad, I'll make the right face. Look. Meh... You're so handsome when you make that face. I think he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come on, Dad. Let me prove it to you. If you really think you're ready. I am! Yes! Yes. I promise, I won't let you down. Stop. Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you. It's really her. Pizza! Hey! Your first day on the job. Hi. Hi. Don't be nervous. I won't bite. Hi. I'm Smiler. Don't touch me. Hi! Okay. I mean, hey. As you know, I'm Smiler. I am the system supervisor here because I was the original emoji. Here's how it works. It's nothing fancy. Wait a minute. It's really fancy! You each have your own cube on the emoji bar. If Alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up. It's showtime. The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box. And let me tell you, guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. You're gonna love it. Really. Now, over here is the favorites section where you'll find all the most popular emojis. And, of course, you'll find my cube here. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. What? What did I say? Rocket looking to party. Come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted. Steven, for the last time, I don't want to buy a time-share. Come on, man, it's Hi-5. You know me, I'm a favorite. Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. And if he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. It's got to be some sort of mistake. I mean, look at me, I'm an attractive hand giving a high five. Fist Bump. Come on in. Hey. Fist Bump? He's a knucklehead. Literally. Look at him. I can look like that. Cramp. Huge mistake. Help. Help me. Help up the hand. There you go. Thanks, mate. Hey, little Meh, how about you create a distraction, and then I'll just slip under the rope? Is someone lost? Smiler, hi. Just leaving. Yeah, you know, just killing time before I go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even see me anymore! You may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place in the cube. Yeah, in the nosebleeds. I'm standing right here. Words hurt. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself. Blah. I was made to be happy, so I am always smiling. Places, please. Emojis to your cubes. Attention. We've got incoming. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. My gosh, my own cube. I can't believe it. I could put a plant over here. And over here could go an inspirational calendar. Okay. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. Look at our son down there. I'm just beaming with pride. You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? Hie-ro-gly-phics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. Does that remind anyone of anything? Hello? A language of pictures. Anyone? Early hieroglyphs date back as far as 3,300... I got to reply to Addie's text. What should I write? Nothing. Words aren't cool. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. All right, Alex is not sure how he wants to play this. I would really love it to be me. Beam me up! Beam me up! I need Thumbs Up on standby. Yeah! Thumbs Up is going in! Wait! Alex is changing his mind. He's moving. Okay. Looks like it's gonna be Meh. I'm so nervous, I could almost shrug. We are go for Meh. Initiating scan. Okay. You can do this. I can't do this! I can't do it! What is this? Stop the scan! I can't! It's too late! Meh, meh, meh, meh. My goodness, I'm freaking out! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face! Good for him! Little... Wait, what? Be meh! Be meh! Be meh! Abort! Abort! Shut it down! Shut it down! What is that emoji? Wrong emoji sent! Evacuate the Meh cube! Evacuate the cube! I got to get out of here. Get that bozo out of there! I'm trying! No! My God. The humanity. Medic. Sorry, everybody. That was not what I meant to do. I kinda... I kinda panicked. Are you even a Meh at all? Course he is. He's my spitting image. If you have expressions other than meh, what you are is a malfunction. Malfunction? No! I can be meh. Just give me one more chance. That's not gonna happen. You know what would be really fun? A board meeting. Where we could figure out what to do with you! I knew there was something wrong with him. A malfunction? What's gonna happen to him? He can't work on the phone. What would Alex think? What do his parents think? I just wanted to be useful, you know? Fit in. Now everybody thinks I'm a malfunction. I am a malfunction. Even if you are a malfunction, Gene, your mom and dad still love ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get you out of here and take you home. One day, all this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. Wait. You want to hide me away? You're embarrassed of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene? Where are you going? I'm not gonna run away from this. I'm an emoji, and even though I'm not sure exactly which one, I've got to have some sort of purpose here. I know it. Gene, no. Sweetie, please. Boy. A malfunction... Order! Order! The motion is carried. So, how'd it go, Gavel? Hey, Light Bulb, tell me what's going on in there. What? Poop, what is it? Tell me, turd. Tell me true. What happened? I know it was an accident. We all have accidents. You're so soft, Poop. Not too soft, I hope. Gene! We were just gonna come looking for you. Why don't you come inside the boardroom, and we can have a teeny, weeny chat. Um, I came up here to defend myself, but you seem pretty happy. So, good news? Right. I'm always happy. Right. Hashtag truth. Well, the only thing that could ever make me unhappy is if one of our emoji team made a mistake, which caused Alex to lose faith in the phone. And then our whole world gets wiped out. Smiler, I double-pinky-swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. We know you won't, Gene. We know you won't. You know, the first time you said it, it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and then, that was weird. That's because we're setting you up with our best Anti-Virus Bots. So, they'll like... They'll just... They're gonna fix me? Actually, delete you. But yes! If you get deleted, you don't have to worry about what your purpose is or the future or why you're such a malfunction. 'Cause you're deleted, right? All right, good talk. Bots! No! Don't let him escape! Party time! Wait a minute... The air is better here. Beer, Tea. I'm Coffee! Sorry. Sheesh. So edgy. My old cube. Take a hike, Mike. -My name's not Mike. -What? There's AV Bots coming! For me? Just because I'm in the wrong section? Holy deleto! What do we do? Quick! This way! Let's go. Don't tell anyone you're about to see this. They'll never find us down here. Where are we? The basement? No. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out. Go fish, Fish Cake With Swirl. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. I almost got deleted. Me, Hi-5. Hey. What's up, Hi-5? They weren't trying to delete you. They were trying to delete me. You? What's so important about you they'd send out an entire team of Bots? They say I'm a malfunction. You bringing malfunctions in here now, Hi-5? For crying out loud, Abandoned Luggage, that had better not be my leftover Chinese food. What Chinese food? Do you have any idea what it's like to be living large, hashtag blessed, the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit my calluses for me? At least you're a working emoji. That's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it'll take for you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find a hacker? In the Piracy app. Duh. Who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get there, I mean, I'd have to leave Textopolis. So? I've done it. Would you be a brother? One of the Princess emojis left the phone altogether. Now she lives on the cloud. That is good. I'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to be reprogrammed, and then, I can finally be the Meh I was meh to be. Help me find that hacker, Hi-5. Will you? Please? Maybe this hacker could help you, too. Like rewrite some code, get you into the favorites section. Wait a minute. I've been trying to use my charisma and sense of entitlement to get me back on top, but all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll. Hey, can I come, too? Talk to the hand, Red Wagon. I thought I was. Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fish Cake with Swirl. Daddy's heading back to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait. What about the Bots? Good point. Good point. Ouch! Hey. I shouldn't have picked the cactus. I just... I shouldn't have picked it. You didn't even try to get the tree. It's baffling. Let's go. Hi-5? Hello? Hi-5? Where are you? I'm right here! Gene! Here we are, end of the text app. No way. Come on, Gene. It's perfectly safe. Gene, help me! The wallpaper monster's got me! No! Hold on, hold on! Hi-5! No. This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Hi-5! I'm... I'm just messing with you. It's one of those rubber finger-monster puppets from the '80s. I collected the whole set. All right, you coming? What do I do? What do you mean? Just take a step through the other side. This is it. The next time I come back here, I'll be a real Meh. Hi-5? No! Are you finished? Where are we? Welcome to the Wallpaper. This place is incredible. Each app is its own unique world. That's my face. You're on my... Thank you. What is this place? WeChat. It's like a whole other world. It is. What are they? They're Bubble Pups. They might be cute, but, man, are they clingy. Whee! They're stickers, Gene. Try to get with the program. This is so cool. Wait. What's in that one? -Guys, look at this picture. -Look at my baby. This is what I ate for breakfast. -This is what I ate for lunch! -Here's me on a hike! Here's me in the gym! Here's me in the bathroom! Everybody's talking about themselves. How does he know so many people? None of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. I... I think I'd... I think I'd rather just have a real friend. A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans. They give you complete and unrelenting support. As long as you're on top. Poor Gene. I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supportive. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, Mel Meh. Bots. If they haven't found Gene by now, he must have skipped town. You mean the Wallpaper? Our boy's on the run. How about we find him ourselves? Yeah, for sure. Tell all Bots to follow those Mehs. I'm sure they'll know all the freaky-deaky apps Gene will hide out in. I'm really good at making plans, you guys. Right? Here we are. The Piracy app. This is where we'll find Jailbreak. Um... But this is the Dictionary. That's just what Alex wants his parents to think. This is called a skin. Really? What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? Just try to keep up. This place can get a little rough. Ahoy, mateys. Look who's back! Hi-5! I'm a bit of a celebrity here. Always welcome.! Loser! Come on. Follow me. Great. Emojis. I thought the conversation just got dumber. Internet trolls. Just ignore them. Eventually, they'll get a job or a girlfriend or some sort of purpose in life, and they'll stop. Virus. We'll just... We'll just walk over this way. Hi! It's so great to see you again. Do I know you? It's Spam. Just sign here and I can get you special discounts on vitamins and credit card offers that can save you up to 25%. No, no, no, don't get sucked in. Back off, Spam! It's the only way to deal... Back off! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right here. Hey, Trojan Horse. How are you? Yeah, what'll it be, hand? I'll have a bottle of "Hack Daniel's." Maybe with a plate of cheese and hackers? You trying to find a hacker? You can just ask, you know. Sorry. Um, yes. We're looking for a hacker named Jailbreak. I know a guy that can hook you up. Right over there. He looks capable. No, not him. Her. Wait. He's a she? Hey, Jailbreak. Mind if we join you? Yes. That's the thing about the Internet, isn't it? You can never tell if someone's being ironic or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. That's a good one. So, here's the thing. My friend Gene here has a little problem. Well, see, I'm supposed to be a Meh, but I don't really feel... Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And we thought you could help, since you got the Princess, you know, off the phone. Not interested. Hold up. That's not a Meh face. Bots! They're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's just something I can do. Can you help us? Follow me. Bots! Delete my history! I corrupted the entire hard drive. I made the most delicious cinnamon buns. Maybe if there was something to, you know, jog my memory. Come on! Move! Hey, Trolls, why is that mailbox wearing a tuxedo? Hi! It's so great to see you again! Call me! This tunnel will get us out of here. Move! Did that cloud taste sweet to you?! Help me! Help! I'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am I? Get me out of here. Hey, Palm Face. Try getting him out the top! Already on it! Hold tight, Gene. This feels very odd, and it smells. I mean, it smells good, it smells delicious, but I still don't like it. The game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're weirdly misshapen, you know? What are we gonna do? Stay very still. Don't worry. We've got your back. Right, Hi-5? Hey, Fingers! You want to focus? For your information, I happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very serious... Listen, Finger Head! We have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up. I don't want to blow up. We have to match up the candies, so that Gene will drop to the bottom. And we can't match him with any yellows, or else... Don't do that. Please don't do that. Watch. Match three in a row. Don't blow Gene up. Got it. And we have to be very careful. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful. -Candy! Watch it! Hey! No! No, no, no! Slow down. Not the yellows! Not the yellows. I said careful! My mom just joined Facebook. Can you believe she wanted to friend me? Hey, Addie, I was just wondering if you are... Tasty. What? Um... Excuse me? Sweet. Hey, Addie! Hi, Nikki. See you later, Alex. Sugar Crush. So over this. Wireless Wireless. How may I help you? I'd like to make an appointment. It's like this phone is playing games with me. Hey, what does this do? No! Get me out of here! No! Stop it! Stop, stop! It's not working. Well, there's one option left. We line you up with the yellows. But you said not to do that. Special candies get transported to that jar. The game might think you're a special candy. And what if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? Well... Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak? Sorry. What if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? I'm not too worried about it. Okay, just do it. Gene! Gene? Hey. No! Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see if I had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? Yes, I was. And you have not. Hey. Looks like something popped up on Alex's calendar. I'm sure it's nothing. Alex made an appointment at the phone store. No! Calm down, everyone! Calm down. Don't worry. Everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories. His appointment is with technical support. Well, I'm sure we still have plenty of time to figure this out. His appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance. Actually, it's to erase the phone. Listen, Gene, I'm about to become your knight in shining armor. You are? Yeah. But first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. That's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. The cloud? Isn't that off the phone? Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it. Yeah, the cloud. Off the phone. We're in Candy Crush, obvs. I know a shortcut to Just Dance, which is right next to Dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. Of course. Just Dance, then boogie over to Dropbox, catch the link, and zoom. Hold up. Here's the stinker. Before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this firewall. The firewall uses face identification. Yeah, the firewall. Which is really annoying, because I've already tried to get through. Guessed wrong once, and now I'm locked out for life. Locked out for life? You're thinking, 'cause I can make different faces, the firewall will think I'm different emojis. Yeah. I wanted to say it 'cause it was my idea. You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. You know what... Well, then let's hit the road. Hi-5, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think I'm gonna come around on black licorice? My precious. Hey! Move it! Certain death, here we come. Let's try this one. YouTube? What a visual treat. And I don't even need a remote. That guy is so expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yeah. Something really wrong with him. Our son is a malfunction, and you should never have let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for this, Mel. I am hopping mad at you. See? Mary, I think we're being followed. But don't overreact. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? They'll be in there for hours. Mary, where are you going? I think we should go our separate ways, Mel. I thought I knew the Meh that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary... This tunnel will help us avoid the Bots. Thanks for helping us. It's really nice of you. NBD, dude. The truth is, you're helping me. Come on, let's move it. Why so slow? Hi-5, stop. Why are you getting so close? What's with you? Back off. Can't stop now. I'm having a sugar rush! I'll go around you. If I stop moving, my heart's gonna explode! Coming through, Jailbreak! Look out! Hey! Watch it, Knuckle Butt! I can't feel my face. So, Jailbreak, back there you said I'm helping you. I've been trying to get past that firewall for months. Come on, come on! The faster we get there, the faster I become a favorite! Look at me! I just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud. What just happened? You don't like it here? There's so many rules here. What is up with that? The cloud is supposed to be amazing. There's so much to see and do. Sugar crash. I can't hold on anymore. Catch me, Gene. Catch me! And you can be whoever you want. Thanks. You're free! Come on! My gosh, my hands are sweating. You are a hand! Yeah! You know, come to think of it, I don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. Um, you know, you're taking up too much of my brain space. Let's keep the chitchat to a minimum. Someone likes you. What are you talking about? This is just like when Peace Sign gave me just one finger. I knew she was in love with me. Let's go! I'm never eating another piece of candy ever again. Hi-5, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. Don't do it. Are my fingers getting fat? I'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. Okay. We get through this app, and Dropbox is right on the other side. We just need to keep it super DL in here. And no matter what, we can't turn it on. OMG, this turned it on! What? I'm a hand. It's a big, red button. What's happening? No, no, no, no, no! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get to move forward. Do the wrong moves and you get an "X." Three strikes and you're out. Out? What does she mean by "Out"? Digital death. Thanks to you, Fingers. Now we're gonna have to dance our way out. Which is all right with me, 'cause I can shake it like Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad, Gene. I can't dance. I got no groove. Come on. Everybody can dance. Not me, okay? I'm really stiff. See? I can't... Don't understand. Okay. No, no... Stop, stop. She has to stop. I see now what you are saying. Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three... This I can't do. Two... Dude... Just shut up and... Dance! It's too easy! Hee-hee! Shamone! Jailbreak! I got you. Look. Just feel the music. Express yourself. Through dance? Yeah, you got it! Go, girl! Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito. I'm doing it! I'm fully nailing this dance! You got it! Great job! You're moving on to free dance! Impress us with your moves to move forward. More dancing? You're killing it, Gene! Slay! Nice! Shake it, Gene. You won't break it. Wait a minute! I've never seen that dance before. What's it called? Um... The Emoji Pop? I love it! What? You do? Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! Hoo! Yes! Princess. You're the Princess emoji? You never got off the phone. Welcome, new players! What? Who? No! We got to go. Don't worry. They're robots. They can't dance. Downloading funk protocol. "Can't dance," he says. Move! Congratulations. You're a disco diva. Hey, Alex, you gonna dance for us? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Hey, Alex, you gonna shake it? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! Alex must be deleting the app. Watch out! We got to get out of here. Come on! This song is my jam. Hi-5, come on! Let's go! Hurry! Hi-5! Gene! I got you! Gene... Hi-5! Gene. Hey, wait. Where's Hi-5? Alex trashed the app. And Hi-5 right along with it. Wait, what? Wait, trashed? Hi-5 is in the trash? He wanted to dance. But I knew it was a bad idea. We got to get him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right here. That's our ticket to the cloud. And the trash is on the other side of the phone. We don't know how many other Bots are out there. I'm sorry. No way. We can't go without Hi-5. I don't care how far away it is. That's my friend down there. I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted. What? What is it? I've always just thought you got to look out for number one. Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers? Okay. I'm sorry. This is my malfunction. I just... I can't be meh about anything. This is why I'm going to get reprogrammed. Well, it's actually kind of cool. Wait, really? You know, I think I know a shortcut. We can take the music streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand a hand. Come on. Alex trashed the Just Dance app, and our Bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache. I am so angry. I really need to stay happy. Can we please lighten the mood? No one can resist una fiesta! Not that happy. We've only got four hours before Alex's phone appointment. If they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all gonna be wiped. Yeah. She said, "Wiped." Aim higher, Steven. I didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. The illegal upgrade. Now that makes me happy. I just want to dance. Dance, please. Arr! Quiet, you sassy gypsy. Where am I? Hi! It's so great to see you again! You're in the trash, Fingers for Brains. Get away from me, Troll. Hi! It's so great to see you again! I got to get out of here. You can't. And at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all gonna die! No. No, no! This is the last face you will ever see. No! This is Spotify? Yep. Every one of those streams is a different song. Is it safe? Yeah! Are you sure this is a good idea? Fastest way to the trash, dude! Could we at least pick a calmer stream? Okay, buzzkill. Alex. A bunch of people are hitting the promenade. I think Addie might be there, too. That's perfect! I have an appointment down there, anyway. I've got to get this phone fixed. Hey, bubble butt. Yeah, you do. Much better. So, I got to ask. Is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies, and... Hello, stereotype. That is a complete and total myth. I'm sorry. Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be. Get ready. Whale song coming. -Wait, wait. Whale what? -A whale song. From Alex's biology presentation. You're not gonna see that sitting around in a cube. It's funny. You want out of the cube, and I want in. Gene, if that means you can't be yourself, what's the point? You know, I think you're pretty cool just the way you are. We're gonna need this. In the trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am. Look. In an old e-mail Alex never sent. "Addie, blah, blah, blah, blah, bla-la-la-la." And then there's me, Hi-5, right there, doing my job. FYI, nobody cares about you. Just leave me, Troll, and let me die in this dump alone. Let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so you can play it. It's the Hand Angel of Mercy. She's finally come for me. Give me your hand! I mean, give me yourself. Take my hand, angel. I'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? I got him! Take me with you. Hi-5! Let go of me. Don't leave me down here! You were wrong, Troll. People do care about me. And I'm not upset, Troll. Do you see how not upset I am? Gene, you came back for me. You saved me. It wasn't just me. Jailbreak helped, too. And she's a hugger. Give her a squeeze. No, no, no. There really is nothing greater than the feeling of being truly free. You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, but I was once one of you, so I, too, feel your pain. Now go. Be free! Should be smooth sailing from here. Gene. Gene. Gene? Are you Instagramming? Where is my Gene? Mary. You've really done it this time. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine. What do you mean? Is that a tear on your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way he is. I have other expressions, too. I think they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing and thinking I might have lost you, too... Mel. Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame. I like that, Mel. Let's go find our son. Together. We'll always have Paris, Mary. So, you're a princess. I saw your little tiara. Very fancy. Is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly down from... That's what I said! No, guys! That's a stupid myth! What software version are we living in? Go read an e-book. Educate yourselves. Just look behind you. What the... What is that? Smiler must have upgraded her Bots. Let's get out of here before it... Hi, Gene. Remember me? Smiler. I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater. Why don't you come back to Textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? My friend here will escort you, all right? I'm gonna see you soon, buddy. Bye, now. We're actually gonna delete him in front of everyone. Psst! It's still on! It's still what? Jiminy Sassafras! Move! Separate! Tangle him up! Jailbreak! Gene! This way! It's still after me! Let's go. We have to make it to Dropbox. Yes! No! Go low! Don't worry. It can't get in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure. Come on. Welcome to Dropbox. You are about to leave the phone. Remain seated, please. You might want to hang on. Why do they call this Dropbox, anyway? This is why! I see that now! Yeah! I think we're about to see that candy corn again! We made it. Hoo! Guys, guys, chill. We still have to get past that. Holy... Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? All right, here goes. What do I do? Sit in the corner and don't say a word. Keep those sausage fingers to yourself. Yes, Your Majesty Princess of Nightmares! Now, Gene, step onto the password icon, and I'll feed you the passwords. Okay. Okay. 10-11-2002. 10-11-2002. Access denied. Okay, try a different expression. Is it gonna blast me every time I mess up? Yeah, kinda. What do you mean, "Kinda"? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His favorite food. Chimichangas. Chimichangas? Access denied. This might take a while. Boy. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. Abuela Dora! Skate or die. Access denied. Denied. I don't get it. We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma. I'm sorry, Gene. I let us all down. You know, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I liked. I've been all over the phone. He's never mentioned a girl. Yes, he has. Hi. When I was in the trash, I read a very interesting e-mail, but I'm just the dunce in the corner, forbidden to speak. What e-mail? Sorry, what? What e-mail? To a girl at school. He was declaring his feelings of love for her. I guess instead of sending it, he tossed it in the trash. Hi-5, this is very important. What is her name? Her name, yes. Excellent question. It was Tina. Karen. Marge. Lindsey. Alison. Sarah or Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel right now I'm saying it out loud. Jennifer. Got to find that e-mail. Phillipa. I think I can access the trash. Annabelle. -I got it! Addie! -Yes! Yes! That's it! Addie! I knew I'd get there. "Dear Addie, you and I, we're like diamonds in the sky. "You're a shooting star I see, "a vision of ecstasy. "Shine bright like a diamond." And he used a high five, see? I guess now we know why he trashed it. Shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie. Access granted. Snap. This place is amazing. The cloud. I can't believe it. One little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. I guess we should make you a Meh before that Bot comes back? So, we're gonna... We're gonna do that now? We had a deal. Right? Yeah, okay. Right. I, guess I'll start hacking. We did it, Gene. All our dreams are coming true. I'll be an Alex favorite again, and you'll be a real Meh. Yeah! Yeah, but this all seems kind of super-fast now, though. Doesn't it? Hi-5, I just didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. Well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. So, I've been... I mean, um... Ever since we... Jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji I've ever met. And after all the adventures that we had, I'm just not sure I want all that to go away, because my feelings right now are, like, huge. I just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way I am. If it means I could stay here with you. Like, forever. Forever and ever and ever. Maybe longer than that even. Like in the fairy tales. Like, what is "? Is that a good "? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then I am all about that. I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. Right. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince. I mean, what you said was beautiful, but... Gene. You're all meh. The source code worked! Turns out I didn't need it. For the first time in my life, meh is all I feel. No! Gene! Hi. I have an appointment. I'm a little early. No problem. I can take you right now. Jailbreak! Don't do that! That freaky huge Bot has got Gene back inside the phone. What? He left looking more meh than the meh-est meh face I've ever seen. What did you say to him? It's what I didn't say. We've got to go get him. How are we gonna get in there in time before he gets deleted? I can't believe I'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw this, and I'll crack more than those knuckles. Birds do love princesses! It's not a myth. It's not a myth at all! What happened to becoming a favorite? Guess I'd rather have one real friend. And let's go get him. I can't wait to see the look on Gene's face! Look at that expression. Is that for realizing you've put all of Textopolis at risk, causing Alex to question our reliability? Hey, that's going too far, even for me. If we can delete this malfunction before his appointment, they'll discover there's nothing wrong with the phone. Any last words? Meh. Well, it's too late for that. Delete him! Wait. You delete Gene, you'll have to delete me, too. I have the same malfunction Gene does. Dad? Gosh, I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. Bot! No! Sorry, Mrs. Meh. I did not see that one coming. Smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. Really? How about you're next? I was wrong, Gene. I should've believed in you all along. What a touching daddy-son reunion moment. It reminds me of the time I deleted you both. Wait. That's this time! Delete the two malfunctions! No. How's that for an... Great. I can't reach! No! What did you do to my beautiful... My tooth. Hand, button. Jailbreak? Gene. You really are a Meh. What happened to looking out for number one? Being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. Alex's appointment! He's deleting the phone! No, no, no! Show me Alex. Are you sure you want to delete everything? Do it. Red alert! Red alert! Alex, no! Game over. Fellas, I'm afraid this is last call. Dude, Addie's here. You should go over. Every time I try, I screw it up. I don't know how to tell her how I feel. If we help Alex connect to Addie, maybe he won't delete us. I might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. But we'll only have time to send one. Maybe I should go. He has love in his eyes. Send me. Alex looks nervous, too. He's more shy than nervous. Stop! It's Gene. He's all of those things. An emoji should only be one thing. Really? The Princess! Linda! Not now, Mom! Gene, you got this. That's not me anymore. But I have to try. It's starting! No, it's ending! I'm working on it. Mom? Dad? No. I'm in. Last time I was in this cube, I screwed everything up. Gene, why do you think I came back? It's because of you. Me? It's all inside of you, Gene. Just try to bring it back. And do you. Hi-5! I don't want to wave good-bye. It's now or never, Gene. Jailbreak, now! Check out this emoji. No way. Hey, I got your text. That's one super-cool emoji. I know, right? A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings. Yeah. That's me. So, do you think you'd want to... Yes. I'd love to go to the dance with you. Hey, excuse me. We made it! I could've lost you, Peter Pinkie. Or you, Reggie Ring Finger. Even you, Tiberius Thumb. Change your mind? Yeah, maybe it's weird, but... I'm gonna hold on to it. Gene, you did it! You saved us all! Mel. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene. Gene. Gene. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us! Hey, what up, Gene? Slap me some skin. And a little porridge for the pinkie. Hey, Hi-5, save me a dance for later. As long as you're not all hands again. Back on top of the hand pile. You're not on the list. -Wait, what? -What's going on? From now on, everyone is welcome! Wait, what is all this? It's for you, Gene. Everybody, the Emoji Pop! This is jazzy. Yeah. Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! We are out of Alex's pocket, emojis. This is not a butt dial. To your cubes. -Are we up and running? -Roger that. Good, 'cause we got incoming. Looks like it's gonna be Gene. Hey, Gene, ready to try out your new cube? In three, two... Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-emoji-movie

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scholar-of-the-abyss · 7 years

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the world we live in. it's so... wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no... no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it's own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don't send her your social security number. she's right there! that's our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster... phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter... and... you're probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that's where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that's my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it's still september, tim! and princesses... i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they're good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i'm a millionaire! laugher's always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah... and me, i'm a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they're so... cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it's hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is.... just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh... Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh ... meh ha ha... what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i'm gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help... oh, my colon!!! ducks... hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let's go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i'm afraid that you'll have the wrong reaction. ok, what's the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don't want to be late! i'm not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you're just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji's whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that's not true. ow! YEAH! i'm going to work on the phone and I'm only ten! that's because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we're number two! we're number two! see? i, i know i'm different, ok? but, i need to... i can be meh... i just... want to be a working emoji, you know, like... everybody else... and then... i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don't, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i'll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you're so handsome when you make that face. i think he's ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you're ready... YES! yes i am! i promise i won't let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it's really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don't be nervous! i won't bite! hi, i'm smiler! ho ho ho ho ho... DON'T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i'm smiler, i'm the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here's how it works. it's nothing fancy! wait a minute... it's really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it's showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex's text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you're gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you'll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you'll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don't want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it's high five! you know me! i'm a favorite! Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. there's gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i'm an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he's a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh... help me.. help up a hand.. oh... here you go... thanks mate... hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i'll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds... uh, i'm standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself... basically, happy itself... i am always smiling... places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we've got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can't believe it... oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh... look at our son get on there, i'm beaming... with pride! you don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures... anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient... i gotta reply to addie's text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren't cool. ok, be cool, be cool... alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this... oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he's moving! ok, looks like it's gonna be meh... i'm so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can't do this! i can't do it! stop the scan! i can't, it's too late! oh! what's he doing? he's making the wrong face! good for him, little... wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi... shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i'm trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody's calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren't ready. let's get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you're gonna hide me away? you're embarrased of me. it's for your own safety. we're trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i'm not going to run away from this. i'm an emoji, and, even though i'm not exactly sure which one... i've gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how'd it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what's going on in there. what... poop... what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you're so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i'm always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone... and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won't, gene. we know you won't! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it's weird. we're setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they'll, like, uh, they'll just, they're gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don't have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you're deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he's escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute... the air is better here! beer, tea... i'm coffee! sorry... ish... so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name's not mike... ah! there's AV bots coming! what, me? just because i'm in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let's go! don't tell anyone you're about to see this. they'll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what's up high five? they weren't trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what's so important about you that they'd send out an entire team of bots? they say... i'm a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food... uh... what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it's like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you're a working emoji, that's all i ever wanted. well, if that's all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it's not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i've done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud... mmm... ooh, that is good. i'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's jailbreak. jailbreak? that's great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i've been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today's your lucky day! let's roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was... bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy's headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow... hey... i shouldn't have picked the cactus. i shouldn't have picked it. you didn't even try to get the tree, it's baffling. let's go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i'm right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it's perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I... i'm just messing with you! it's just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i'll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome... to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that's my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it's like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they're bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they're stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what's in that one! everybody's talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i'd rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how's that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you're on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven't found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy's on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i'm sure they'll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i'm really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we'll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that's just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who's back! high five! i'm a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they'll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they'll stop. virus, we'll just, we'll just walk over this way... hi! it's so great to see you again! do i know you? it's spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don't get sucked in! back off, spam! it's the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what'll it be had? i'll have a bottle of... hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of... cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we're looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he's a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that's the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone's being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good... so here's the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i'm supposed to be a meh, but i don't really feel... yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help... the princess, you know, off the phone... woah, hold up, that's not a meh face. bots, they're after me! how are you doing that? look, it's just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it's so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i'm stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don't like it! the game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don't worry, we've got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very, serious... hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don't want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can't match him with any yellows, or else... oh! don't do that, please don't do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don't blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don't do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i... i was just wondering, if, you are... tasty. what? um... delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh... hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i'm so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i'd like to make an appointment. it's like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh... suck it in... stop it... stop it... ow ow ow... it's not working! well, there's one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you're a special candy. and... what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? well... ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? oh, i'm not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you're alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex's calender. ah, i'm sure it's nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don't worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i'm sure we'll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it's to erase the phone. listen, gene, i'm about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. the... cloud? isn't that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we're in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here's the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this... firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it's really annoying, because i've already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i'm locked out for life. locked out for life? you're thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i'm different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let's hit the road. high five, you coming? i'm coming! why do i always think i'm going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious... move it! sudden death, here we come! let's try this one... you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don't even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something's really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don't blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we're being followed, but don't overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don't. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it's really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you're helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can't stop now, i'm having a sugar rush! i'm going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart's going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can't feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i'm... helping you. i've been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don't like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud's supposed to be amazing, it's full of dreams too... oh, sugar crash. i can't hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we're free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you're taking too much of my brain space, let's try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let's go! ugh, i'm never eating another piece of candy ever again... high-five, don't do it! don't you do it! it's already been in there once. don't do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can't, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i'm a hand, it's a big red button! woah. no no no no! what's happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you're out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we're going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can't dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i'm really stiff... see? you don't... understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can't do! two! dude! just shut up and... dance! i'm just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i'm doing it! i'm finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you're moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you're killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i've never seen that dance before! what's it called? the emoji... bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you're the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they're robots, they can't dance! downloading thought protocol... can't dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that's extra homework for you. yeah, alex's getting wicked, ha ha ha... alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let's go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene... hey, wait a minute, where's high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance... but, i knew it was a bad idea... i'm so sorry... we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other

#Emoji movie

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victorluvsalice · 5 months

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Merry Christmas SatiricalDemon!

@thesatiricaldemon *waves* So you requested a fic about Daniel, Dommik, and N on an inter-dimensional vacation to one of my other fic verses...and the very first thing that came to mind was a follow up on a thread about a certain crystalline butterfly birthday present Dan sent to the Victors that my Secundus boy found very inspiring. XD So yeah, that's what you're getting. Hope you enjoy!

This Feels Like A Recipe For Disaster

“. . .and that allowed me to dampen the threat response! They still react if one of the flock gets injured, but it’s more of a ‘chase away the potential threat’ thing – they won’t try a full swarm unless you full-on shatter one of them.”

“Oh, excellent, excellent! And I see in your notes here you were looking to see if you could get different colors – I would imagine that if you added that lovely compound to the caterpillar mid-metamorphosis, you could get a truly acidic shade of green!”

“Maybe, but that also has a good chance of completely destabilizing the metamorphosis entirely. . .though I guess it’s all about how much I add. . .”

Alice looked over at the two, hunched over the main experimentation table in Victor’s greenhouse lab, and shook her head fondly. “I’m sorry, it sounds like they may be at this for a while,” she commented, turning back to their other two guests. “Victor was – very inspired by that little gift your Dr. Daniel sent along for his birthday.”

“So I can see,” Dommik said, grinning in that rather off-kilter way he had. Then again, Alice supposed that since he was really some sort of odd vampire-worm thing running around in a human suit (and how she wished she didn’t know that), it was only to be expected. “Daniel was hoping that he’d enjoy the statue, but I don’t think he expected him to try and recreate it.”

Normally it’s a bad idea for anyone to attempt to copy anomalous flora and fauna, N added, their cold gaze fixed on Daniel and Victor as they kept exchanging ideas on tweaks to the crystalline butterflies Victor was working on. But your husband seems to have a rare talent in that regard.

“Only because it’s a butterfly, I’m sure,” Alice replied, folding her arms. “Lepidoptery is Victor’s specialty. He can work with other insects too – we’ve got a hive of modified bees from a honey-making venture he attempted a little while back – and he’s got some talent with engineering, but butterflies and moths are where he shines.” She grinned. “Possibly because his very first project as a Touched was figuring out how to make them glow.”

“Oooh! I’d love to see that!” Dommik said, excitement shining through his eye sockets. “I’m sure they’re beautiful!”

“They are – and much less deadly than the creatures you lot apparently deal with on a daily basis,” Alice said, glancing between them and Daniel. “I thought Secundus could be a rowdy place to live sometimes, but after the stories you’ve told us of your world, it seems almost – peaceful.”

It is a difficult place to exist sometimes, N agreed. But we have found happiness there, regardless of the circumstances. They tilted their head at her. I do still find it interesting you do not exhibit the same Hume potential as the Alice we know at home.

“Oh, I’d love to be able to bend reality to my will,” Alice grumbled. “It’d make life so much easier. . .then again, your Alice seems to have had a very different life to mine, even if some of the broader events match up?”

“Mmm? Oh, yes – I’ve noticed your meta-narrative placement is much different from hers,” Daniel commented, looking up from the notepad he’d been sharing with Victor. “As is this Victor’s from the one I know. No waking up Emily means no potential for necromancy at all!”

“I’ll take raising butterflies over raising the dead,” Victor mumbled, scribbling something with a frown. “Hmmm – I’m not entirely sure that’s adding up right. . .”

“I’m just wondering where Smiler is,” Dommik said, looking around.

Alice blinked, then glanced over at Victor, who looked equally confused. “Ah – who?”

“You know – Smiler! Your themfriend?”

“Wrong universe, dearest,” Daniel said, with a slightly softer version of his trademark manic grin. “This romantic situation was resolved before their creation – though they may be here somewhere in potentia! Perhaps I could look into the matter!”

“Who are they?” Victor asked. “Other than a ‘themfriend.’” He smiled, tone light. “What, are we supposed to be a threesome too?”

Daniel laughed. “You could if you wanted to be! In fact, in studying the meta-verse for this trip, I actually located a reality where you and Alice are part of a nine-person polycule!”

Alice and Victor shared another, much more astonished glance. “. . .all right, now you have to tell us about that one,” Alice said after a moment, shaking her head. “Because I have got to know.”

#thesatiricaldemon #merry xmas #christmas fic #xmas fic #fanfic #secundus #eldritch hellworld valice #yeah my brain went 'okay honestly the world they'd probably fit into the best is Secundus but'#'...omg I could do a follow up to Secundus!Victor wanting to recreate that super-dangerous butterfly' XD #I think it turned out pretty well!#hoping the trio sound at least mostly in-character #reread a bit of Beneath A Broken Sky to get an idea of how they should talk #the Smiler bit at the end is a nod to where people probably EXPECTED me to go with this #with the nine-person polycule being 'Running Headlong Into The Bullshit'#the mega polycule with Preston Garvey and Piper Wright added to the mix XD #seriously hope you enjoy #and thanks again for Beneath A Broken Sky :)#queued

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victorluvsalice · 4 months

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AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark Vs Baldur's Gate III

Okay, so, yesterday I happened to mention that I'd gotten into Baldur's Gate III -- and that a certain Crime Trio of mine (based on an entirely different RPG, I might add), had decided to lay claim to it as a potential AU of their OWN AU. No, I don't know why I'm like this either. *sigh* Anyway, there's not really that much to it at this point in time -- while I have spoiled myself on the story (and seen a bunch of cutscenes thanks to my friend @gaydragonwizards), I haven't actually played that much of the game itself and thus don't know exactly how the trio would react to EVERY quest and NPC in the game. I do know some basics, though:

-->The AU starts with the Nautiloid happening to pop into the Valicer In The Dark universe by mistake while navigating -- the mind flayers decide they may as well abduct some people while they're here, and unfortunately Victor, Alice, and Smiler, walking the streets of Six Towers, are in range of the tentacles and taken aboard to be infected

-->Smiler wakes up in the canonical pod and finds their way to Us, saving them and immediately bonding with the little intellect devourer ("I'm a they/them too!"); Alice wakes up in a different pod nearby and is the first to meet Lae'zel, and helps her fight the imps; and Victor wakes up in the same room as Shadowheart, and is working on freeing her when the others arrive -- they get her out, get to the helm, and manage to fight their way to the transponder and connect the nerves

-->If you're wondering about potential language barriers, one of the good things about the tadpoles randomly connecting your mind to other people's is that it allows you to pick up Common super fast -- I basically see them getting a bit of an "information dump" on a few key things about the reality they're currently in during the initial connections

-->Also, in the process of freeing Shadowheart, the group find that woman in the other room and mess with her console, accidentally causing her to change -- a creepy moment made even creepier by Victor's Ghost Mind ability letting him briefly see the woman's soul escape...and then burn up as she transforms into a mind flayer. We will come back to this later

-->After the crash landing, Victor, Alice, and Smiler are very confused when they wake up to see a blue sky...and then, after waking up Shadowheart and being told, essentially, "it's blue because it's sunny?" are utterly GOBSMACKED to find themselves in a world with an ACTUAL SUN. Though shock and delight quickly turn to "oh wow, this is actually a lot hotter than we're used to, we need to find lighter clothes fast" XD

-->From there, they pick up the rest of the companions and work their way through the main plot, hoping to both find a way to get the damn tadpoles out of their heads and get home (because as nice as a world with a sun is, it's not Duskwall, and Smiler in particular would like to see their parents again plz)

-->Naturally, being pretty good-hearted people, they do the nice versions of the quests and help people out as much as possible -- though, also being a group of Shadows who nick things and sabotage schemes for their living, I can see them offering tips to the gang of tiefling children thieves and scam artists to help them in their chosen path. XD Also, Alice probably has to be talked out of killing Kagha right then and there when she threatens Arabella, and I'm not sure the snake survives THAT little encounter. Alice has a thing about people threatening children, as you might expect!

-->I foresee a lot of confusion on both sides about how different Duskwall and the Shattered Isles are from Faerun -- not just the sun thing, but also Victor having access to an entirely different form of magic (Gale in particular is like "wtf is this??? This is not Weave???"); the group not knowing what horses or cows are (both animals are extinct in their world) and having to be introduced to them -- while, on the flip side, being perfectly cool with eating rat; and the trio being briefly like "well, it's horrible what happened to that poor woman on the Nautiloid, but at least her ghost won't be slowly going insane and trying to feast on the life essence of the living" and the others being like "what." Leading to Victor, Alice, and Smiler learning that this world has an afterlife and being like D: as it dawns on them that the total destruction of the soul is not an accepted way to keep the world from being riddled from ghosts here. (The others are once again like "what the FUCK is wrong with your reality?")

-->Smiler spends a good portion of the early game looking for Us, before finally accepting sadly that the intellect devourer probably didn't survive the crash...and then they get to the mind flayer colony under Moonrise in Act Two and "Friend! You found the helm!" :D They are beyond happy to see Us and won't hear a word said against them from the other companions (who are naturally BAFFLED as to why Smiler wants an intellect devourer as a pet) -- and Us, for their part, is entirely loyal to their friend Smiler and all THEIR friends, because the kindness Smiler showed to them on the Nautiloid caused them to bond more closely with them than the rest of the hive :) Victor and Alice warm up to the little thing pretty quick, while the others...well, they get used to having a brain wandering around pretending to be a kitty. XD

-->Part of me would like Shar to somehow be responsible for the Shattered Isles no longer having a sun...and thus be real annoyed that people are still living in that world eight hundred and forty-seven years later (as Alice puts it, "you brought the darkness, and we just lit it back up again")

-->And in the "overpowered nonsense that wouldn't make it into any actual story stuff but is fun to think about," I enjoy pondering the possibility of the trio, when faced with the Avatar of Myrkul, using Victor's Whisper ghost-fighting stuff on it -- and successfully forcing it into a spirit bottle. I imagine the other companions would be like "how the FUCK did you bottle part of a GOD?!" while Myrkul would be just "...guess it beats dying again." Oh, and Withers finds it hilarious in his droll way. XD Bonus points for talking to Myrkul about what the damn plan with the Absolute even gets him, Myrkul realizing that he's somehow been had by the Netherbrain, and switching sides against his former compatriots because, yeah, this mind flayer invasion does NOT benefit him in any way, wtf.

-->Or, if you would like DIFFERENT godly intervention, I did have an idea where Mar-Mal is also able to access Faerun through the blessing they gave Smiler, and uses its influence to protect Smiler from the tadpole instead of Smiler having to rely on the Dream Visitor and the artifact. They task Smiler with spreading their influence and getting worshipers so Mar-Mal can do more on this plane, and Smiler happily talks up their god to anyone who will listen (also sharing what samples they have left of their Joy Serum). And fortunately for them, people are willing to throw at least a few prayers the way of a god of pure happiness...meaning that during the endgame, when it's time to fight the Netherbrain, Mar-Mal's gotten just enough power to come into Faerun, filling the sky with spiral clouds as they manifest. The gang still has to fight the Netherbrain, but it's easier as the Netherbrain is, um, a bit distracted trying to not be mindwarped by Mar-Mal! XD And once the threat is defeated, Mar-Mal is able to open up a temporary portal to bring Victor, Alice, and Smiler home. With the implication that they could get back eventually...like, say, in six months to catch up. :p

Whew -- bit more than I expected here! I don't know if anything is actually going to come from this -- I mean, I definitely have to get the REGULAR Valicer In The Dark stuff done first -- but it's fun to think about as I play the game. And it has inspired me to make a few not-incorrect quotes/shitposty scenes...

#valicer in the dark au #baldur's gate 3 #vitd bg3 #yeah my brain is -- weird #I think we can all accept this now #I just like the idea of the trio ending up in this bizarre new world and needing to adapt #and confusing the hell out of the locals in the process XD #might be some meta fun to be had with the fact that D&D and Blades In The Dark play VERY differently too #Alice utterly ignores turn order while fighting because that's not really a thing in BITD #Victor of course has totally different magic #and Smiler is being charming and having loads more success with a bigger dice pool XD #and yes they have a special bond with Us #if only because I developed a special bond with Us after seeing them for the first time in YouTube videos #what can I say the brain is cute and I love them #and now Smiler loves them too #best brain kitty #queued

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