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@bruciemilf you can’t leave this in the tags actually.

whatever you do, do NOT think about the scene in Batman 2022 where Alfred gives Bruce his cufflinks. And especially don’t think about Bruce going “what about you? Are you a Wayne?” with the closeup shot of the ‘W’ insignia, and Alfred responding “you father gave me these.” and ESPECIALLY don’t think about it in the context of the Pennywaynes. okay?? okay.

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Shoe game ballin

Get it bart get it

Not tagging names for literally the two girls hands but I WILL be sticking this in the tim drake tag fuck you

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I promised my friend I would finish up, edit, and post my hallucination!Jason fic so now I have to lock in.

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dinners at the manor be like...

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someone said in the tags that they saw my roblox post on tiktok but i can’t find it 😭

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Oml I just found your blog, but I have to tell you I haven’t stopped laughing at that Nygmobblepot post you made a few hours ago, it’s legit the funniest thing I read all day

oh I’ve only just seen this I’m so sorry!

Thank you, I find myself remembering it and having a little chuckle pretty often lmao

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Jason, messy sobbing: He's just so cool, I'll never be as cool as him! He's good at everything and he can do cool tricks and stuff, I'm screwed, I'll never live up to him! He's achieved so much, I'll never be as skilled or as impressive as he is! Everyone loves him for a reason, he's kind and heroic and such a free spririt. I'm nothing compared to him, that blue bastard!

Bruce, trying his best: Are- Are you talking about your brother? Look I know Nightwing is quite the predecessor but you don't have to pressure yourself to be like him, you're good at what you do in your own way. And though it might not mean much to you right now, I still care about you just as much as I do Nightwing. I'm sure with time you'll grow to be just as accomplished as Nightwing, there's no need to feel inferior, you're stil-

Jason: What? I'm not talking about Dick, fuck that guy! I'm talking about Sonic The Hedgehog!

Bruce: You're- like from the Sega?

Jason: Of course from the Sega!

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Obsessed with the image of the batkids all belting Epic: The Musical together in the Batcave while Bruce watches in befuddled silence. He’s just glad they��re getting along…

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Jason who is still hesitant to spend any of Bruce’s money until…

Bruce: Hey, what’s this charge on my card? $1000 for… Robux? Is that like cryptocurrency?

Jason: Uh. I wanted VIP in ‘Dress to Impress’ and then I realised I could customise my avatar and then I wanted to buy items in-game and-

Bruce: Oh, so it’s like a video game thing? And not crypto? That’s fine then.

Dick, a Runway Diva in DTI: You play fucking Roblox? Lame.

Jason: Yeah? You would too if you had any joy or whimsy in your heart.

Tim, has been spending hundreds on Roblox using Bruce’s card for months, knows Bruce knows what Roblox is: Oh, Roblox! I’ve heard of that, it’s like… minecraft but mini games, right?

Jason, eye twitching: Something like that.

Damian, has also spent hundreds of Bruce’s dollars on Robux recently: It sounds like a frivolous investment. But whatever makes you happy, Todd.

Duke: Wait… I am not using my free will and rich adults to my advantage. I’ve been doing free to play shit this whole time. Bruce, give me your card.

Bruce, bewildered but supportive: O-okay?

Steph, who has been using Tim’s money (which is Bruce’s money) for Robux: Hey, I also want your card. (She does not intend to buy Robux. God knows what she will purchase. I support her.)

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He nygles on my mobble til I pot.

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Some wounds don't heal

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Damian: You're ugly.

Tim: Tone indicator?

Damian: Oh, I'm sorry.

Damian: You're ugly /srs.

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The Batcave has a “Do Not Talk To Me” couch. It’s sacred. It’s unspoken. It’s real.

okay so. picture this:

the batcave has one couch. it's in the corner. it’s hideous. it’s like beige or green or something equally offensive to every one of their aesthetics. no one likes the couch.

and that is exactly why it became sacred.

because one night jason just. drops onto it. full gear. bleeding. absolutely done with life. says nothing. doesn’t even take off the helmet. sits there in silence for 3 hours and then leaves.

next week tim uses it. sits there post-mission. face in hands. someone tries to ask if he’s okay and jason throws a batarang at them.

and thus it began.

Rules of the Do Not Talk To Me Couch:

You sit there? No one speaks to you.

You cry? No you didn’t.

You eat cold noodles off your chest at 4 a.m.? That’s sacred time.

If someone tries to comfort you? They are excommunicated for 12 hours.

Dick (sitting on the couch):

Damian: Grayson, are you—

Jason (from across the cave): HE’S ON THE COUCH.

Jason: I don’t make the rules.

Steph: You LITERALLY made the rules.

Jason: And I am the defender of the rules. There’s a difference.

one time damian storms in. covered in blood. absolutely furious. 10/10 rage goblin energy. throws his sword. marches to the couch. sits. arms crossed. steaming.

tim takes one look at him and goes: “i’m making tea.”

jason: “that’s acceptable. tea is allowed. talking is not.”

bonus:

once bruce sits on it.

and the ENTIRE CAVE goes silent.

tim literally freezes mid-typing. cass stops mid-flip. jason just mutters “oh shit.”

they all leave. immediately.

the couch is not ready for bruce.

extra bonus:

alfred vacuums around the couch. never says a word. leaves snacks in a silent offering. once placed a weighted blanket gently on jason’s shoulder. that’s different. he’s allowed.

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Young Tim who makes kandi/friendship bracelets for Robin and Batman (mostly Robin, he just doesn’t want Batman to feel left out) and leaves them in the Bats’ most common brooding/surveillance spots.

He does this for years, perfecting his craft. He makes bracelets with multiple chains, his beads get higher quality, his finishings improve (he learns that gluing the knot and trimming down the string is better than just tying it off and cutting it down.) and he loves to make bracelets for the two Robins, and for Nightwing, when Robin I eventually becomes his own hero.

When Jason dies, Tim sneaks over to leave kandi at his grave, nothing that would incriminate him as Robin, just things Tim thinks he would like. Kandi strung in his favourite colours, a cuff with a quote from his favourite book, intricate designs woven with pieces of Tim’s heart and his sorrow for his favourite Robin, his hero.

They’re cleared away often, but Tim replaces them with new kandi diligently.

He also turns Robin II’s favourite gargoyle into a mini shrine, bracelets and kandi chains decorating the stone high above Gotham’s streets, dedicated to his hero.

When Jason arrives to the tower, ready to break his replacement’s wings, he instead finds a sixteen year old boy sitting cross legged on the floor, surrounded by boxes of beads. He has a tray in front of him, a design laid out that he is carefully transferring one by one onto the elastic string.

“Stupid Bruce clearing the stupid grave.” He mutters angrily, tying off the bracelet. “Have to replace these every other week.” He adds a dollop of glue, ties the string again, adds another bit of glue, and then sets the piece down to dry. Jason watches as he carefully manoeuvres the glued knot to rest in one of the beads, ensuring that’s its secured to itself as well as to the bead.

He would be impressed by the attention to detail if he wasn’t currently processing that Tim fucking Drake is Robin’s stalker.

He thinks back to his room at the manor, at least fifty bracelets for Robin II found on rooftops (and once, on the passenger seat of the Batmobile. God, the look on Bruce’s face.) stored securely in a plastic box at the very back of his closet. His most prized possessions. He knows Dick has one just like it.

Whatever plans for revenge being enacted through the vessel of his replacement are immediately scrapped.

“Those for me?” He asks, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms.

Tim whips around, beads clattering off the bracelet he was carefully stringing together.

“Not unless you’re my neighbour’s dead son.” He shoots back, tone aiming for joking, scrambling for his staff. Play cool, play cool.

Jason barely thinks for a moment before he removes his helmet. He peels off the domino mask, wincing as it pulls slightly.

“Uh…” Tim stalls, staff at the ready.

“You left me bracelets, all around Gotham. For years. For Nightwing too, and the Bat.” Jason tilts his head. “You said those were for your dead neighbour. You make them for me out of the mask too?” Tim nods wordlessly, stepping aside so that Jason can rifle through the pile of bracelets waiting for their glue to fully dry.

He finally finds his words as Jason starts trying on various pieces.

“I started leaving them after you- after everything. At your… grave. B and A clear them away every few weeks, I don’t know if they keep them, but I replace them.” He sounds unsure, Jason thinks that’s reasonable.

“You don’t even know me.” He says, he knows why someone would leave gifts for Robin, but Jason Todd? No way.

“You were my hero. You are my hero.” Tim responds, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Guess we gotta break into the manor and see where he’s hiding those bracelets then, eh?” Jason pushes through the warm feeling in his chest. He doesn’t have time to analyse that now.

“Only if you agree to let me run tests in the cave.” Tim still holds his staff in an iron grip.

Jason would expect nothing less from his Robin.

It’s only a small price to pay for those kandi after all.

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not the bad vibes 😓

tim is so done

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Being carried swiftly by mama