melon-cat-cult

[melon-cat-cult]

Good mom Talia hc?

Just thought it would be cute that when Talia had time she'd personally train with Damian ?

You know in the middle of training its quiet Damian isn't expecting much other than his form to be corrected or its baby Damian and he's getting frustrated at being bad at this new skill he's learning or Talia is bored.

But she starts talking about all of the al ghul family drama.

And this becomes their tradition. it becomes so normal to Damian that now he thinks it's a rule that when sparing with mother it's time to talk, but he doesn't have much to talk about so he talks about bugs and animals just about anything he still knows all the family drama and when Jason is his guard he does the same thing with him telling him all the Al ghul family drama first. Jason then tells him the family drama he remembers back with Bruce about dick running away and starting the titans. All that jazz is tradition.

Then when he gets to Bruce, Bruce is struggling he doesn't know how to connect with his own child he feels like he's failing, Damian is just violent and Bruce doesn't know how to calm him down so he agrees to sparr to see damian's skill set, and that's how they bond because it's tradition and Damian was taught to respect tradition so he starts telling Bruce all of the al ghul tea.

[melon-cat-cult]

I do the opposite of gatekeeping, I’m not going to shut up until you like this thing as much as I do

[melon-cat-cult]

Guys it was really hard to find a fanfic to listen to at work today that was Damian Wayne centric that didn't sound like it was gonna make me cry at work are we good fam ?

[melon-cat-cult]

*at a company party for the daily planet*

coworker: why is Bruce Wayne here

Lois: he's Clark's boyfriend and needed a break from his kids

Coworker:... Clark as in your husband ?

Lois: yeah

Coworker: Bruce Wayne is dating your husband and coming to a company party and you're not throwing a fit

Lois: why would i? Bruce is my boyfriend sometimes when I want him to be *shrugs and walks over to Clark and Bruce*

Coworker: ????

[melon-cat-cult]

Does anyone else's dog sleep like this

[melon-cat-cult]

Dragon Damian Au!

pt.3

NO! You can’t pierce Damian’s EARS with a SAFETY PIN!

Tim was not getting any closer to figuring out why Duke and Damian were close, and it seemed like they were getting closer. Tim couldn’t even touch Damian without getting growled at! The evidence board wasn’t looking good either. One side was for figuring out Duke and Damian, and the other was for all of Damian’s ‘strange’ habits. The idea that these might just be things he does because of the LOA, but Jason also stayed with LOA for a long time, and he doesn’t do any of those things that Tim has seen. 

On the ‘Duke and Damian’ side, 

Shiny rocks 

Warm blankets 

Lamps ??? 

And on the what the ‘hell is up with Damian side’. 

Glowing eyes

Attracted to extreme heat 

He stabs when too close to possessions( may be a league thing, Jason has stabbed me because of that as well) 

He’s a weird kid on the scale of Bruce’s brood weird level, still don't know how to make the kid like him. Tim sighed, his eyes hurting from looking at his screen too long, getting up to do some other work around the cave. Totally normal that was until he passed the stables where Goliath, Wiggles, and Jarro stay in the cave, normal used to seeing the two dragons and giant starfish. What wasn't normal was seeing Damian caught in Goliath and Wiggles and getting licked. 

“Uh… yo demon, you getting eaten?” Tim called into the stable 

Damian didn’t say anything. Tim came into the room more. Tim heard purring? He got closer, Wiggles looked up instead of getting growled at, and Tim got wrapped up in Wiggles’ tail. Squirming to get out of the side of Tim’s face was met with a wet sandpaper tongue. 

“Eugh, Wiggles, that’s gross,” Tim complained, but stopped hearing the purring, likes cats, most definitely coming from the dragons, and… Damian… that's being added to the list. 

[melon-cat-cult]

What my brother said about the Ai scrap of AO3

My fic was unfortunately in the range so it did get scrapped too smh

[melon-cat-cult]

You can take the HC that Martha Kent and Martha Wayne called their boys by every pet name under the sun out of my cold dead hands.

Ma Kent, her baby came to her out of the sky

She called Clark every variation of star or sun thought possible. Clark grew up being called starlight, starling, shooting star, sun bean, sunshine.

Because to Martha Kent Clark was all those things

Martha Wayne Bruce was her baby, sweetheart, honey bunny, love, her little knight,

Bruce remembered how loved he felt being called those names and does the same thing with his kids. Clark still has his mom to call him those things and also feels the love from ma Kent when she calls him those things they make him feel warmer than the sun ever could.

Clark calls Jon his sunlight and to begin with he didn't call Kon those pet names but it comes naturally to call Kon starshine Clark didn't notice he started calling him that.

[melon-cat-cult]

Quotes from my sister

From playing cult of the lamb

Sister: I'm like I'm a cultist wet dream

---

*Me explaining the lamb is like the last lamb* 

Am I the chosen one! 

Why couldn't it be one of my brothers! I don't wanna be the last one 

--

*Seeing everyone working together*

Yeah we'll finish this up licity split 

---

Fuck you your unworthy! I'm not unworthy!! You're just jealous*genuinely just crashing out about leshy saying the goat was unworthy of the red crown*

I'm about to kill this bitch

---

A bondfire ritual? Let's do that shit naked!

---

*With first dissenter*

Stop spreading lies In my names! 

---

*First upgrade to cult seeing it bringing up faith which was really low* 

Ah shit that did wonders- alright bitches I gotta fucking dip *runs to crusade*

[melon-cat-cult]

More batfam as stuff said at work

Part 3

Bruce: please stop

Jason: I just got here I can say so much more

Duke: don't

---

Dick: the elfile tower is in France

Tim: it's also in vagas

Dick: you're not allowed to talk

---

Steph: I hate people who are bad at math

Jason: so you hate me

Steph: so I hate myself

---

Damian: to the orphanage, there's a bed with your name on it

Tim: there's one with your name on it too

Damian: yep right next to yours so I can smoother you in your sleep

---

Dick: I'm getting real sick and tired of being threatened with the orphanage

---

Duke: it's not tequila it starts with a t though.

*Duke struggles for the name*

Duke: vodka!

Cass: *narrows eyes*

Duke: that doesn't start with a t

---

*Jason singing I kissed a girl*

Jason: *poking at cass* that's you

---

* Damian and Bruce talking*

*Tim starts having a coughing fit*

Damian: would you let me finish talking

---

Steph: you're a genius

Tim: thank you

Steph: shut up

---

*Cass as all the narrowed eyes and Damian as all the disgusted looks me and my coworkers throw at each other when we see something stupid or want to get on each other's nerves*

[melon-cat-cult]

I showed this to my sister and now she's getting the game

They Scream together, like all good best friends do

[melon-cat-cult]

How easy it is to make my sister get a game

Me: yeah so you are a little guy running a cult

Me: and there's a goat he's purple, we could play together

*shows fanart of goat and lamb*

Sister: damn I have to there's purple

[melon-cat-cult]

I raise the angst one more.

Damian waking up from a nightmare, not wanting to show weakness he doesn't go to anyone but he can't seem to calm down so he starts singing a lullaby one his mother used to sing to him singing it in Talia's voice to try and trick himself

Mimicking voices

Damian's mimicking voices ability should be explored more in fics where he's being a little shit, or just acting like a kid and pranking his family, like Damian is comfortable with the family now he knows their voices but he also knows how they talk with I think is most important because you can imitate a sound but getting the way a person talks how they slur certain words or have different names for things because of the people that raised them, when he knows that about the family is when he can mess with them.

It'll be a quiet night when he first does it, he was scared to do it honestly because he didn't want to get in trouble with his father but he does he mimics Grayson's voice seeing where everyone should be knowing Grayson is the one alone right now, he tells Brown something so utterly grayson he can't believe it came out of his mouth.

Damian*in Grayson's voice*: betcha fiftie that you can't push RR off a building in tha next 20 minutes.

Damian says it so perfectly In Grayson's 'its time for chaos' voice that Dick is shocked and wondering if he said that.

That's the start, what really sells it is when one of his siblings does dare someone else over coms and Damian responds in their voice telling 'damian' to stop imitating their voice, causing a fight now no one is sure when the dare is or isn't from Damian, Barbra knows because their icons light up when they talk on her computer, Damian has bought her silence, Bruce knows but his baby is giggling listening to the chaos and its joy he doesn't hear from his son often so he lets it continue to hear his baby giggle and he happy like a kid.

[melon-cat-cult]

*me and my sister talking about the song that is trending on tiktok*

Sister: that's Grayson song

Me: you go to his comms and he's singing that at the top of his lungs

*nods together*

Me: what redhead is he singing about though.

Sister: the most chaotic one

*me having flashes of Barbra, Kori and Wally*

Me: that doesn't narrow it down.

This is the song btw ⬇️

[melon-cat-cult]

Mimicking voices

Damian's mimicking voices ability should be explored more in fics where he's being a little shit, or just acting like a kid and pranking his family, like Damian is comfortable with the family now he knows their voices but he also knows how they talk with I think is most important because you can imitate a sound but getting the way a person talks how they slur certain words or have different names for things because of the people that raised them, when he knows that about the family is when he can mess with them.

It'll be a quiet night when he first does it, he was scared to do it honestly because he didn't want to get in trouble with his father but he does he mimics Grayson's voice seeing where everyone should be knowing Grayson is the one alone right now, he tells Brown something so utterly grayson he can't believe it came out of his mouth.

Damian*in Grayson's voice*: betcha fiftie that you can't push RR off a building in tha next 20 minutes.

Damian says it so perfectly In Grayson's 'its time for chaos' voice that Dick is shocked and wondering if he said that.

That's the start, what really sells it is when one of his siblings does dare someone else over coms and Damian responds in their voice telling 'damian' to stop imitating their voice, causing a fight now no one is sure when the dare is or isn't from Damian, Barbra knows because their icons light up when they talk on her computer, Damian has bought her silence, Bruce knows but his baby is giggling listening to the chaos and its joy he doesn't hear from his son often so he lets it continue to hear his baby giggle and he happy like a kid.

[melon-cat-cult]

Batman, how the f**k did you imply that!?

Bruce coming home from a justice league meeting going up to the bat computer Tim is sitting there Dick is leaning on the chair to look at the screen, Bruce sits down taking his cawl off and just looks up at the bats on the ceiling Dick and Tim notices Bruce's odd behavior.

Dick: uh you okay B ?

Bruce let's out the most exhausted sigh Dick has ever heard from the man. This makes Tim stop typing and look over as well

Bruce:... I might have implied that I was...

Bruce's voice trills off into a whisper.

Dick: what?

Bruce: that as Batman, Bruce Wayne is my sugar daddy...

Tim:...

Dick:...

Bruce sighs again.

Dick: this is why you need to tell them your identity dad

Bruce: unfortunately I can never tell them now because I will die of embarrassment

Dick: B you have to tell them

Bruce: do you want me to die of embarrassment Dick?

[melon-cat-cult]

Dragon Damian AU!

Pt.2 Duke's New (definitely Stabby) dragon Brother.

Living with the Waynes is an experience; it's nice, not home, but the people there are family. The people here are insane, but that's besides the point. It's fun, he and Tim skate sometimes, Steph joins on her rollerblades, he and Jason patrol crime alley in the morning, aka Jason finds him when he's out as Singal to annoy him, he and Cass watch gossip girls together when theyre supposed to be training and he and Dick…

Then there’s Damian, the youngest, the fucking Dragon that made his heart drop down to his ass the first day he was here because of his aura, when damian walked in at first he was convinced an full blood dragon had stepped in and growled at him for being too close to his hoard. He realized his powers were acting up. To be fair, Damian is a dragon, the family is a part of his hoard, and he did growl at him, but it was instead of the hulking green and black beast he had seen; it was just a little kid. The rest didn’t react to the warning growl he got, so he assumed everyone knew. Because why wouldn't a family of detectives know?

Duke and Tim were at the skate park. Duke was sitting on top of the ramp, watching Tim go around and around in the bowl. They were the only two at the park. He raised his brow. Tim seemed out of it.

“Yo Tim, man, are you good?” Duke called down, his powers acting up a bit. He saw Tim's aura in the shape of a crow; most of the family were birds except B and Alfred. Duke shook his head, clearing his vision as Tim sat down next to him.

“We can head back to the manor if you're tired,” Duke adds as Tim sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Why does the demon brat like you?” Tim asked kinda suddenly. Causing Duke to blink at him

“Oh,” Duke says, understanding (at least he thinks he does), “I just gave him shiny rocks, like a lot of shiny rocks.” Duke nods to himself. Tim just gives him a confused look. It seemed pretty easy to understand that if you want a dragon to like you, you give said dragon things for its hoard.

“Why the fuck does that work” Tim asked.

“Why the fuck wouldn’t it work” Duke asked back both of them just giving each other confused looks. They were gonna continue their conversation, but then Steph came rolling in yelling with Batburger, causing them to lose their thought process.