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in celebration of april 13, i present all four known photos of neil, who banged out the tunes 19 years ago today

source: theagilerat.com (click right to see all four photos!)

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Attempted apology

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Quite possibly my favorite Ides of March meme I've seen. 11/10 great post.

You can only post this once a year

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Tumblr isn't giving us back the boops for ides of march so I will do it myself.

Get your boops everyone!!!

I just put these together real quick feel free to use them.

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Always keep them guessing.

“Kill them with kindness” Wrong. Unlimited Blade Works

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Happy Ides of March!!

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The YGO/Fate crossover meme no one asked for

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This is an intriguing concept.

Ladies and gents, duelists of all ages, put your favorite ship in the tags!

Mine is faithshipping

Yusei runs enough monsters of every level that he could do it.

So question

Is the Yugioh vision on the Penelope challenge to summon 12 monsters in one turn?

Cause I’ve been sitting here thinking about this, and like Penelope’s challenge to the suitors is to string her husband’s bow and shoot through 12 axes cleanly (they have a hole in them)

So for duel monsters would the challenge be to summon 12 monsters? But like in building order? 1 star followed by 2 star all the way up to a 12 star monster.

Can you do that? It’s a lot of special summons and probably couldn’t be pulled on the 1st turn but is it possible to pull off? 12 summons 1 turn.

Make it harder that everyone has to use the same deck when attempting (Penelope’s husbands deck)

I think it’s a fun idea

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Not my art. But funny.

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Your honour, it's them.

theyre fighting a god in the morning

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multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

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This is my magnum opus

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Dating according to Vex:

First base: somehow manage to not once mention your love for him to him despite declaring it in front of everyone else until he kisses you because goddammit somebody has to move this relationship forward

Second base: slap him on the ass casually in public

Third base: when he comes to knock on your door the night before you head off to war, open it while completely naked

The ten steps to wooing a lady according to Percy:

Step one: give her all your money immediately and forever after

Step two: bury those feelings deep

Step three: give her weapons

Step four: show her where you grew up and become a little evil and fucked up there so she has to keep a close eye on you

Step five: kill her (accidentally)

Step six: title her (to spite her dad)

Step seven: forgive your enemies and die

Step eight: agree to talk to her so you stop thinking about a cool icebreaker ship, then kiss her and walk away, promising to talk later

Step nine: don't talk later

Step ten: show up at her door the night before you all might die with four different bottles of alcohol to choose from and get your flirtation utterly overshadowed by her brazenness

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Thank you @bermuda-n-drangle for this take. I wholeheartedly agree with you on your points made. As someone who is a big fan of legends, mythology and also a Magic fan, I can say that I was super disappointed when I saw they were making an Arthurian inspired plane but then had so little actual influence drawn from said legends. I did enjoy the rest of the fairytale style from the original Throne of Eldraine, don't get me wrong. But the Wilds of Eldraine set blew it out of the water for me. I always enjoy looking through all the different card's arts and flavor text. I definitely have better appreciation for the set now after seeing your post. Thank you.

Wilds of Eldraine Is More Arthurian Than Throne of Eldraine Was

Wizards of the Coast personnel, most prominently Mark Rosewater, have been transparent that Eldraine began its creative life as an Arthurian/Camelot inspired plane. Which it still is, but it was originally just that. However, they'd run some polls, and general public's recognition of things from Arthurian legend was limited in scope compared to the actual breadth of source material. So, to avoid a second Kamigawa, they supplemented it with the "fairy tale plane" premise, which has also been on the short list for years but didn't have enough thematic legs to stand on its own. They would play off each other: fairy tales needed a kingdom of humans, and Camelot legends needed a magical element outside the kingdom.

It was a pretty great idea. Then, the set came out, and the "Arthurian half" of it was received much more mildly than the fairy tale half. So, in Wilds of Eldraine, the fairy tale half is given much, much more prominence. This is obvious in every aspect of the set, from key art to draft archetypes, to the absence of Knight typal.

So this post's title probably seems like a weird sentiment to have. But I feel like Throne's Arthurian side feel flat because it was barely there to begin with.

Here, walk with me through a creative exercise. Suppose you have been tasked with making a setting inspired by Arthurian legend, the way Theros is inspired by Greek myth. You do not yet know that you will be given a fairy tale parachute later on. What's step one?

You probably said "make an analogue of King Arthur and/or Camelot". Because that's the right answer. And that is, indeed what they did.

Sort of.

Eldraine's Camelot is Ardenvale, and its high king is the Good King Algenus Kenrith. He underwent many trials to claim his crown, and all of the realm looks to him for leadership.

King Kenrith's card is not in booster pack, and his entire role in the story is that he is kidnapped and turned into an ungulate.

That's a pretty odd way to handle the King Arthur of your King Arthur setting, in the set that's introducing the setting. But okay.

You have your Arthur expy, and you have his kingdom. What is Step 2 in making a resonant facsimile of the Matter of Britain?

If you said "make four more Camelots"... Well, I'd say that's an odd pull. Given that there was only one Camelot in the source material. However, I did say that in this scenario you were designing for a Magic set, and if a plane doesn't have five or ten of its main gimmick, Richard Garfield will just die on the spot.

This is how we get the five courts. There is Ardenvale, yes, but that's just the white guys. Each court is a different take on the virtues of knighthood and chivalry. Ardenvale values honor and loyalty, Vantress values wisdom and knowledge, Locthwain values determination and persistence, Embereth values bravery and valor, and Garenbrig values strength and fortitude. Thus, the Knight, which is traditionally very white and sometimes black, can be in any color it wants this set and still make sense.

And that was very cool of them, honestly! However, it doesn't get us any closer to the setting feeling Arthurian. Setting aside that you're making a Magic set, ask: once you have King Arthur himself and Camelot, what do you need next to truly be Arthurian-evocative?

There's a pretty good chance that you said either Merlin or Excalibur. And Eldraine does indeed have those! Sort of.

This is Gadwick the Wizened and Embercleave. The former is from Vantress, and the latter associated with Embereth.

I have just told you all the lore about Gadwick and Embercleave.

They are both part of cycles of cards. Gadwick is the only card in his cycle that has anything to do with King Arthur conceptually, and in-universe he does nothing significant and is unrelated to Kenrith or Ardenvale, so it's really only process of elimination and word of God that places him as this setting's Merlin. Embercleave is part of a cycle of artifacts meant to represent different artifacts from Arthurian legend. Except the blue one, which is another fairy tale thing, and the green one, which is... Stonehenge, for some reason.

In fact, Embercleave almost did not exist. It was originally the Irencrag, this world's Sword in the Stone-- or rather, Stone with the Sword. (Note: Excalibur isn't even the sword in the stone, Excalibur was from the lady of the lady, the stone sword is different, look it up) Knights of Embereth, as a rite of passage, stick their weapon into the rocky edifice, and if they can pull it back out again, they are worthy of knighthood. And that's a very fun, cute way to take a recognizable motif of the source material and expand it into a whole cultural thing, genuinely.

But you're telling me early drafts of your Story of King Arthur Plane didn't have an Excalibur? Like, I'm glad that you caught it before you went to print, but where are your priorities where that almost happened? And it's not like Arthurian myth has some kind of dearth of legendary relics! Rhongomyniad, Failnaught, Carnwennan, the Ring of Dispel, the Green Sash, Prydwen. There, I just made another five color cycle with one to spare, and I wasn't even trying!

But fine, it's fine. You have your King Arthur, your Merlin, and your Excalibur, and even your Holy Grail, even though not a one has anything to do with the other and only one of them will do anything of significance within the story. You also almost had a Morgan le Fay analogue in the form of Sheoldred the Whispering Witch, but you cut her later in design because you wanted Eldraine to be a breather period after WotS and not another immediate ramp-up (good call, btw, but her replacement, Oko, is very much not a Morgan).

Is there... anything else? Something... synonymous with King Arthur, present in virtually every pop culture depiction of the man in some fashion? Something that a layman might naturally finish the sentence "King Arthur and his..." if prompted?

That's right, his Round Table!

King Arthur's iconic Round Table, which he famously sat at all by himself. His Round Table which was definitely intrinsically magical and NOT, by any means, a symbol of a regent placing himself on equal footing with those who swore allegiance to him.

In case my sarcasm is not portraying my frustration adequately: there are no Knights of the Round Table in this set. There plenty of knights, sure. A glut of them. And, as seen above, there is something of a Round Table that some of them are associated with. But there is not elite fellowship of legendary knights with the King counted among their distinguished and exclusive ranks.

The set Throne of Eldraine have five legendary knights at uncommon, plus a sixth if you count the commander precon. None of them have any lore or characterization beyond "hey remember how we said knights of this color are like? this is one of them".

Lancelot, the peerless master of weapons whose base desires doomed the court to infighting. Bedivere, the king's first knight of unfailing loyalty and single arm. Kay, the king's stepbrother turned protector, know for his mix of fire magic and swordplay. Gawain the gentleman, whose arrogance is tempered into humility. Mordred, the child of the king and his worst enemy, traitor to the crown. Tristan of the tragic romance. Galahad, Agravain, Percival.

Not a single one of them has an intentional parallel in Throne. All real estate for legendary knight characters in what is, ostensibly, The Legendary Knight Setting, is dedicated to going "knights are in all five colors in this setting isn't that neat".

And one might think "oh, they were just worried that the average consumer isn't going to have the knowledge of the specific of King Arthur's court". And ordinarily might be inclined to agree with you, but: they printed Questing Beast.

Yes, everybody's favorite 4/4 for four with three keywords and more further upsides than most would care to count. The questing beast is an actual thing from Arthurian lore, and like a surprising number of other mythical creatures, it probably originated from someone poorly describing a giraffe. Still, it's extremely obscure. I count myself the biggest authority in Arthurian stuff in most of my friend circles, and I'd never heard of this thing until its card was spoiled.

So this thing that almost nobody had ever heard of, it gets to be in the set, legendary, at mythic, and strong enough to warp standard, PLUS explicit lore importance. But making room for a single Knight of the Round Table? In the Camelot setting? Couldn't be done.

I'm not asserting this is actually true, but looking at the set, I can't help but feel that whoever pitched "let's do an Arthurian world after War of the Spark" knew nothing about King Arthur stuff besides what cartoons and movies made casual reference to. Like, really. Assume that you aren't allowed to say "there's a king" or "there are knights", because those are both things true of very many planes, and tell me, how would explain what makes Eldraine "Arthurian"?

Oathsword Knight is a Monty Python reference, is that anything?

So, yeah. The set comes out, and according to market research, the Arthurian side of the plane "tested poorly", which is to say, most players didn't realize it was there, which is to say, they realized it wasn't. So, in response to this-- I mean, by sheer coincidence, the Phyrexians destroyed all five courts in the invasion. References to them still exist, but Eldraine is focusing much more on the fairy-tale side of things this time, hence the name Wilds of Eldraine. There's knights, but no knight typal. Humans, but no adamant.

And then something funny happened.

I won't go into every last detail of Wilds of Eldraine's story, but: Will and Rowan are in disagreement of how The Realm should be salvaged. Rowan, frustrated with ideas like "social reform" and "negotiation", wants to do so with her magical prowess, and is willing to swear fealty to her evil witch aunt to make it happen. Will, meanwhile, is more level-headed, and wants to untie the realm by simply being a good leader and trusting the people to believe in him. And at first, they don't. But Syr Imodane, knight turned raider turned knight again, sees his earnestness and decides to place her loyalty in Will, and others follow after her.

One day I was thinking about Imodane, who features prominently in the story, and I had a small realization. The prosthetic arm, the mixture of fire magic and melee combat, being first to join. She's sort of like Bedivere and Kay rolled into one character. Except, you know, meaner, and a woman of color.

Then, like a flash, it clicked for me.

Algenus was never the Arthur. He was the Uther, THAT'S why he barely did anything. Will Kenrith is the King Arthur, the boy who became king because somebody had to. Eriette is the Morgan. And Rowan, her pawn and Will's flesh and blood, is the Mordred.

And just like that, they've done it. They have captured, not just the surface-level aesthetics of the Matter of Britain, which are by themselves nothing extraordinary, but the SPIRIT of it.

Many people thought getting rid of the courts would dilute the setting's Arthurian theme to nonexistence, but honestly? The courts never had anything to do with the Arthurian theme, not really. Apparently, they were just getting in the way.

Ultimately, making a setting "Arthurian" is a foolhardy task, because the setting of King Arthur himself isn't interesting, and it's not what makes the tale of Camelot interesting. But making STORY "Arthurian", making its cast and their relationships and their arcs and their virtues line up with what the tale of Camelot explores? That's something. Strange that it took making a limited archetype about evil candy to accomplish this, but we got there.

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I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

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Another beautiful piece from @oexas!

Fantastic job with perspective and beautiful use of making the colours shine.

I love the design you came up with for Sophie.

A lil practice in perspective with this piece mostly, so here's Howl and Sophie, who I designed based 50/50 on their book and movie counterparts! I actually would love to revisit this piece and paring in the future, since the book is one of my all time favs