#& my therapist is lovely and understanding but some of what she said was stuff that. While important to know in general

[fealtyfaggot]

.

[lee-laurent]

Little Green Monster - Luke Hughes

Summary: Riley wants his dad. And Luke is not his dad

content: children, tantrums (child punching, kicking, screaming), doubts about relationship, kissing, past oc x ex!john marino

wc: 3.3k

notes: the highly anticipated part 6!! this one is a bit of domestic life, but also dramaaaa. maybe luke wasn't as ready for a relationship with a mom as he thought (hehehe) ENJOY

"What does a cow say?" Luke asked as Riley handed him a plastic cow.

"Moooooooo!" Riley laughed, clapping his hands together as he put his plastic sheep in his little barn.

"Good job, Ri! You're so smart."

This was the first time that Luke had spent unsupervised time alone with Riley. Tori had gone to the basement of the building to do some laundry and had asked her boyfriend to stay and watch Riley for ten minutes. Riley was quick to rope Luke into playing farm animals with him, but Luke was enjoying it to be honest.

"Moo! Moo!" Riley took the cow back, bouncing it up and down like it was walking. "'Ockey."

"Hockey? What about hockey?"

"'Uke play 'ockey."

"I do, that's right."

Riley shook his head, frustrated that Luke wasn't understanding what he was saying. "No. 'Uke play 'ockey?"

"You want to play hockey?"

He shook his head again, standing up and toddling over to the coffee table. He grabbed the TV remote, shoving it at Luke's chest. "'Uke play 'ockey!"

"Ohhhhh, you want to watch hockey?"

Riley finally nodded, sitting down in Luke's lap as he sat criss-cross on the floor.

"I don't know if Mama would be happy if we watched TV right now," Luke sighed, knowing that Tori was pretty strict about the screen time. She didn't want to raise an iPad baby.

"'Ockey?" he tilted his head to the side, waiting for Luke to turn on the TV.

"Okay. What hockey should we watch?"

Luke flipped through the watched videos on YouTube, noticing that most of them were highlights of John or Sidney Crosby. He knew that Riley really looked up to his dad, so he wasn't surprised. But that didn't mean it stung any less.

"Dada!"

"You wanna watch you dad?"

"Dada!" Riley clapped, picking up his toy cow again.

"Alright."

Luke clicked on one of the fan made highlight videos of John, watching Riley's face light up when he heard the announcers say "Marino." Was that Riley's last name too? He didn't really ask Victoria much about that kinda stuff. He could tell she didn't like talking about her past with John.

"Mama's home!"

"Mama! 'Ockey!"

"Are you watching hockey with Luke? That's so fun, baby!" she smiled, pressing a kiss to both of their heads.

"How was the laundry room?" Luke asked, setting Riley down on the couch.

"Super exciting," she rolled her eyes, smiling at him playfully. Luke shook his head, leaning down to kiss her. "You resorted to the TV that fast?"

"No," Luke laughed. "We were playing farm animals but then he decided he wanted to watch his dad play hockey."

"So you're a push over?"

"Rude," he placed a hand over his heart, feigning a hurt expression.

"I'm joking. He loves watching John play. Almost as much as he loves seeing him in general."

Luke nodded, leaning down to kiss her again.

"What're your plans today?" she asked, pouring Riley a bottle for his snack before nap.

"Not sure. Might go to the gym with Jack for a bit. He's pissed I've been sleeping here. After that... nothing? Come back here and make out with my hot ass girlfriend."

"Not gonna happen, bud. Your 'hot ass girlfriend' has a playdate with her baby daddy."

"You're seeing John? Why didn't you tell me? I would've come."

"Because it's for Riley to have some proper family time."

"But the three of us hang out all the time," he frowned.

But Tori continued, not realizing how much her words were hurting him. "He needs some... regular family time. My therapist said it's a good thing to do. So, we're giving it a try."

"Your therapist? Why am I so out of the loop, V?"

"I just... I didn't want to stress you out, Luke. I'm doing fine, I just need some guidance when it comes to managing co-parenting."

"Oh. Well, I'm gonna go home and shower. Enjoy your 'playdate.'"

"Luke-"

"See you later, Tori."

She sighed, shaking her head as the front door closed. She threw the towel she was holding down on the counter, resting her head in her hands. She took a few deep breaths, trying to center herself. Maybe dating wasn't the best idea after all.

Luke arrived home to the apartment he shared with Jack, his mood soured by his earlier conversation with Tori. He didn't like how she'd worded it as "proper family time." Why wasn't him spending time with them the same? And therapy. Why didn't she tell him, her boyfriend, that she was doing therapy.

Jack was sprawled on the couch, watching some stupid show he'd found on Hulu.

"Hey, man. You ready to hit the gym?" he asked, not even turning to look at Luke.

"Yeah, but can we talk for a sec. I need some advice," Luke slumped down on the sofa next to his brother.

"Sure. What's going on?" he clicked the TV off.

"It's about Tori. Well... me and Tori. She told me this morning she's having some family time with John and Riley. Said it's important for Riley to have time with his dad. And she mentioned seeing a therapist about co-parenting. I didn't even know she was struggling with that stuff. Like am I that shit of a boyfriend that I couldn't even tell my girlfriend was struggling with her kid. And now I'm questioning if I'm really cut out for this whole thing."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Cut out for what? Dating someone with a kid?"

"Yeah. It feels like no matter what I do, I'm not measuring up. I'm always in John's shadow. And with Tori so focused on making sure Riley has time with John, I'm starting to wonder if I'm even needed in their lives."

Jack leaned back, studying his brother. "You're taking on a lot, man. It's not just about being with Tori; it's about being a part of Riley's life too. And John's presence makes that even trickier."

"I know. I really do care about Tori and Riley," Luke said, rubbing his face. "But it's tough feeling like I'm never going to fit into the family like John does."

Jack looked at him thougtfully. "You gotta ask yourself if you're ready for all this. This relationship isn't just about having a girlfriend; it's about stepping up and helping with the responsibilities that come with Riley. That's a lot of work."

"I want to be ready," Luke admitted. "But sometimes it feels like I'm just the guy who's not John. It's hard to see if I'm making a difference or if I'm just background noise."

"It's a lot of stress to take on. You need to think if you're prepared for that kind of pressure. Are you ready to be there for Riley, even when it's hard? Especially since he's a toddler. You have to be consistent and supportive."

"I guess I gotta evaluate if I'm ready for that," Luke said. "I thought I was. But this is a lot more complicated than I realized."

"There's an extra layer of complexity to this, dude. But I'm here if you get overwhelmed."

"Thanks for being honest with me, Jack. I needed to hear this."

"No problem," Jack replied. "Now let's hit the gym and work through some of that stress. Sometimes a good workout is all you need to clear your mind."

Jack's perspective had helped Luke realize the gravity of his situation, now he just had to think about where to go next.

~~

Tori walked into the park with Riley in tow, his lunchbox in her hand. John was already there, sitting on a park bench with a big smile when he saw Riley running towards him. Tori waved politely but kept her distance, wanting Riley to have some time with his dad.

"Hey, Ri-Ri!" John called out. "How's my buddy?"

Riley just giggled and clung to John, clearly excited to spend time with his dad.

"Thanks for bringing him. Missed family time."

"No problem," Tori smiled. "He's always excited to see you."

John nodded, moving his gaze to Riley. "So, how's everything? You've been busy lately."

"Yeah, things are a bit hectic. I've been trying to get more hours in working," Tori admitted. "But Riley's been good. He's adjusting well. Spending time playing with Luke."

John's eyes narrowed slightly, thinking of his next words. "You know, I've been thinking. It's important for Riley to have a stable environment. And, uh, Luke... well, he's still pretty young, right?"

Tori frowned, "What d'you mean?"

John leaned forward, lowering his voice as if someone was listening in. "I've noticed he's been around a lot. But, you know, having a young boyfriend can be tricky. It's not about him hanging out when he feels like it."

Tori crossed her arms, her expression guarded. "Luke's been doing his best. He's trying to be involved."

John shrugged, "I'm sure he is. But it's a lot for someone who's still figuring out their life. I mean, Riley needs someone that's going to hang around, not someone who could just leave whenever."

"I guess..."

John reached over, ruffling Riley's curls. "It's good that you're thinking about what's best for him."

"Yeah. Always."

"Have you been watching lots of hockey, Ri?" John changed the subject, hoping he'd planted the seeds of doubt in Tori's mind.

"Dada play 'ockey!" Riley clapped, snacking on some of the cheese that Tori had packed for him.

"You watch Dada play hockey?"

"Yes! With 'Uke!"

"Oh." John wasn't sure how to react to that. Sure Riley was watching him play hockey, but he was doing it with Luke. He could be watching it with him instead.

"It's great that he likes hockey, isn't it?" Tori grinned, breaking up some more cheese for Riley.

"It's awesome that you're watching hockey, but wouldn't it be more fun to watch with Dada?"

Riley, not understanding the subtext of John's question, just giggled. "Dada play 'ockey!"

"That's right, buddy," he glanced at Tori. "You know, Tori, maybe we could make that a regular thing. Just you, me, and Riley. Watching games together on my off days. Didn't you say he should be getting time with both his parents?"

Tori hesitated, her eyes flickering to Riley as he played with his lunchbox. "I don't know, John. We've been trying to keep things... balanced. I want him to spend time with you, of course, but I also want him to get more comfortable with Luke."

"I get that. But just remember, no one can replace his dad. I'm not saying Luke's a bad guy, he's just young. And let's be real, Luke's got his whole career ahead of him. Do you really think he can handle the responsibilities of being a father figure?"

"I'm not asking Luke to be Riley's dad. He knows that. But he's trying to be there for us, and I appreciate that."

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Tori. Or for Riley to get attached to someone who might not be around for the long run."

"I appreciate your concern, John," her tone a bit sharper than before. "But I've got his under control. I'm making decisions based on what's best for Riley."

"Of course," John raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just looking out for our son. That's all."

Riley tugged on John's sleeve, oblivious to the tension between his parents. "Dada, play 'ockey?"

"Sure thing, buddy. How about we practice shooting some goals together? Think you can beat Dada?"

Riley nodded eagerly, and John jumped at the opportunity to step away from the awkward conversation but also show Tori how good of a dad he was. "Come on, let's go play!"

They moved to a small concrete area near by, Tori watching from where they were sat. She knew John was trying to do something, but she couldn't deny the importance of his relationship with Riley.

"Alright, show me what you've got, Riley!" she cheered, moving the conversation with John to the back of her mind. As Riley focused on playing hockey with his dad, Victoria couldn't shake the idea that things were about to get more complicated.

~~

"Hey, you haven't been over for a bit? Riley's been asking for you," Tori smiled into the phone, mixing Riley's oatmeal in a bowl.

"Oh, um, yeah. Just been super busy. Sorry," Luke replied, fiddling with a stray thread on his hoodie.

"Oh. That's fine. D'you wanna come over for dinner tonight?"

"I have a training session with Nico. Sorry."

"Did I do something wrong?" Tori asked nervously, setting the bowl down for Riley. "Blow on it, Ri. Hot."

"Ooo 'ot!" he waved his hand, blowing on his food.

"No, Tori. I'm just busy."

"Are you su-"

"I'm busy, Tori. Drop it. I'll talk to you later."

"Oh, bye, Lu-"

He'd hung up. Tori sighed, moving on to making her own breakfast. Just as she was turning on the coffee pot, she heard a clattering sound. She turned around to find that Riley had thrown his bowl onto the floor, oatmeal covering the floor and bottom of his chair. His face and hands were also covered, his spoon discarded next to his bowl. She sighed again. It was going to be a long day.

She grabbed a wash cloth to start washing up the mess on her kitchen floor. As she crouched down, wiping up the oatmeal, Riley started crying, his fists rubbing at his eyes.

"Ri, what's wrong?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm, though the exhaustion was already creeping in.

"Noooo!" Riley wailed, kicking his feet in frustration.

"Okay, let's get you cleaned up," Tori murmured, lifting him out of his high chair and carrying him to the sink. He squirmed in her arms, his cries growing louder as she tried to clean his face and hands.

"I know, baby, I know. We're almost done," she said, her patience wearing thin. As soon as she set him down, Riley threw himself on the floor, wailing at the top of his lungs.

Tori stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to do. She really didn't want to get a noise complaint. She had already been feeling off after the call with Luke, and now this. She needed help and Luke clearly wasn't an option right now. She picked up her phone, scrolling thorugh her favourited contacts until she got to John.

The phone rang twice before he answered.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, um, are you busy right now? Riley's having a rough start to the day, and I could really use some help," she admitted, her voice dripping with desperation.

There was a pause on the other end before John responded, "Yeah, I can come over. Give me 20 minutes."

"Thank you, J. I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be over soon."

Tori hung up and looked down at Riley, who had moved onto his back, his sobs becoming hiccups. She knelt beside him, brushing his curls from his eyes. "Daddy's coming, Ri. It's gonna be okay."

Riley sniffled, "Dada?"

"Yeah, Dada's coming." She knew she needed John's help today, but she couldn't help but wonder what Luke would think if he knew she hadn't called him. Surely he couldn't be upset, he'd said he was busy. He'd been "busy" a lot recently.

John arrived at Tori's apartment, the sound of Riley's wails echoed through the hallway. He could hear the frustration in Tori's voice as she tried to soothe their son. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to walk into.

"Thank God you're here," she sighed, stepping aside to let him in.

John crouched down beside Riley, trying to get his attention. "Hey, big guy. What's going on?"

"Dada!" Riley cried, reaching out for John. His face was tear-streaked, and his eyes puffy from crying.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he soothed, picking Riley up and holding him close. But Riley continued to squirm, resisting his dad's hug.

"Riley, we're here, okay? Let's take a few deep breaths."

But he wasn't listening. He kicked out, hitting John in the stomach, and trashed in his arms trying to escape.

John winched, but held on, walking around the room with him. He was gently bouncing the toddler in another attempt to soothe him. "I know you're upset, buddy. It's okay to be upset, but we need to use our words."

"Look, Ri. It's Pooh bear. Do you want to hold Pooh bear?" Tori offered, holding up his favourite stuffie.

Riley shook his head, burying his face in John's shoulder, his body trembling from the aftermath of his tantrum. "You're okay, Ri-Ri. We're right here. Daddy's here."

It took a few more minutes, but Riley's sobs finally calmed into hiccups. His grip on John's shirt loosening as exhaustion took over his body.

"I think he's finally calming down."

"Thank you, John. I really couldn't deal with that on my own today."

"It's okay. This stuff is hard. But we're in this together, remember?"

Tori sighed and sat on the couch, motioning for John to join her. "I know. I just... I wasn't ready for the terrible twos. His first real toddler tantrum, I mean. I didn't know how to calm him down. And you're his favourite person."

"You did fine," John reassured, cradling Riley. "He's just overwhelmed and didn't know how to express it. We all have days like that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just hate seeing him so upset."

"Me too. But he's okay now, and that's what matters."

As Riley settled into a deep sleep in John's arms, the room grew quiet. Tori watched John cradle their son, his hand gently brushing through Riley's curls. The tenderness in John's actions stirred something in her--a familiar warmth she hadn't felt in a long time. She was so grateful for John's help, but seeing him like this, being so good with Riley, brought back memories she thought she'd moved past.

John looked up and met her eyes. There was something in his gaze that made her heart skip a beat. Without thinking, Tori leaned forward, her eyes flickering to his lips. John noticed, and in the heat of the moment, he closed the gap between them. His lips pressed gently against hers. The kiss was soft, lingering, filled with longing and familiarity.

For a moment, Tori kissed him back, all the good times from their relationship flooding her mind. But as quickly as it happened, reality crashed back in. She pulled away, her mind spinning with guilt.

"I--I shouldn't have done that."

"Tori..."

She shook her head, standing up quickly. "No, John. This isn't right. I'm with Luke. I... I shouldn't be kissing you."

"Tori, I know you're with Luke, but I can't pretend I don't care about you."

"It can't mean anything, John. I'm trying to move forward, to build something new. I can't go back."

"I-"

"I think it's best if we forget this happened."

She knew she had crossed a line, one that could complicate everything with Luke, but there was no undoing that she had just done.

"If that's what you want, Vic. But you can't ignore what's still there between us."

She didn't respond.

"Let me take Riley to his room," John offered. Tori nodded, watching as John carefully carried the toddler to his room. As she heard the soft click of Riley's bedroom door closing, she sank back into the couch.

"I'll head out now. But, Tori... if you need anthing. Call me," John said, standing near the front door.

"I know, John. Thanks. I mean it."

He gave her a nod, and turned to leave her with her thoughts. She couldn't deny the kiss, or the feelings that it stirred. But she was scared--scared for what it would mean for her and Luke, and what it might mean for the future she was trying to build.

[misfithive]

So as some ppl know i had a mental breakdown abt the trailer ha ha ha (fr). so anyway this week my therapist tells me she decided to watch it so she could know what im talking about/why its upsetting me so bad and she ended up binge watching both seasons 🥲

She says its an amazing show and shes glad i told her about it. She has a new love for swedish cinema and how honest it is.

This was her favorite scene:

She said she’s never heard anyone say something like that on tv before and she thinks its very honest and that people do a lot of stuff for love that they wouldn’t ordinarily do. So she felt like it was very healing to hear lol

And thennnnn she also said “this is more than just a show so i understand” and asked me why there are only gonna be three seasons 🤣

So anyway my therapist will be watching s3 when it comes out 🤣😌

[typicalopposite]

Tommy stumbles upon Buck's journal. They read it together 🙂

Omg! OMG!! I love this so much! So much I wrote it three different times before I figured out the way I actually wanted it to go! LOL! Hope you like the final cut! (she got a little long!)

<3<3<3<3<3

Buck is busy making dinner. He has his brand new apron on; a housewarming gift from Bobby. Although it’s not technically a housewarming gift, since Tommy has already lived in the house for almost a decade… Either way, he loves it, and he is officially breaking it in. 

“Baby,” Tommy calls from their room. Their room… Buck can’t help the smile that creeps across his face at that. “What’s this?”

He looks up from seasoning some veggies as Tommy walks in, a notebook in his hand. His notebook. Buck nearly yelps: “Oh— uh— uhm— wha— wh- where… did you find that?” 

“It was sticking out from under the mattress,” Tommy says. “I didn’t know you kept a journal.” 

“Oh, well… it’s not— it’s just—” Tommy finally lifts his eyes from the cover (that may or may not be covered in little doodles and a couple dozen fancily penned versions of their names together) to look at Buck. Buck feels his face getting hot; he sighs. “Uh yeah—I used to write a lot… Back when I first started seeing my therapist, she suggested it. Said it might help to get all the thoughts I tend to keep bottled up… out.” He lets out a nervous laugh, switching the spice shaker he’s holding from one hand to the other, and back. 

Tommy finally hands the notebook to him. “Is this one recent?” 

“It is,” Buck admits. “I— uh— I actually picked it up again when—” His voice falters, his nerves kick in. He knows he shouldn’t be nervous; Tommy would never judge him for anything, especially not something he uses as a coping mechanism. “When I met you…” he finally says. He can feel the blush all the way in his ears. Tommy smiles that soft understanding smile. “You— uh— you wanna read some of it?” 

“Only if you don’t mind,” Tommy says, but his eyes light up excitedly. 

Buck’s heart is racing as he quickly finishes the meal prep, shoves it into the oven, and sets a timer. “Okay…” He wipes off his hands and picks up the notebook. Buck’s Journal 2024-2025 is written on the front cover in the bottom corner. Tommy pulls him down onto the couch beside him, situating himself around Buck’s body, resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder so he can read along.  

Buck flips to the first page. 

March 19 2024 

Secretly followed Hen on a hunch she had. Flew through a hurricane, and saved Cap and Athena from their capsized cruise ship. Came up with the team's new motto, “Who Cares!?!” 

Oh and I finally got to meet Tommy. He’s pretty cool!

Next to the entry is Tommy’s number, he got it from Chimney so he could call about the tour… and it’s circled. 

March 29 2024

Got a tour of Harbor Station today. Seeing all the helicopters and learning what all air ops does was pretty cool, not as cool as the guy who gets to man the helicopters and do all the stuff air ops does… but still. I kind of didn’t want the tour to end. I’d have loved to get to know Tommy a little more, BUT unfortunately he had other plans… weirdly they were with Eddie… he flew him to Vegas to see a fight. 

He did offer to give me flying lessons though… that will be fun. I wonder if he offered to give Eddie flying lessons too.

Buck can feel Tommy smiling. “So jealous,” he hears him whisper, and he nudges at his jaw with his shoulder. 

April 4 2024 

I have a date. 

Which is definitely not how I expected my day to end… giving it kind of started with me hurting Eddie.  

Ok so to explain that… I kind of convinced Chimney to bring me along to the basketball game because I was maybe just a little jealous of Eddie getting to spend so much time with Tommy when something always came up when I tried to… and I guess it just got the better of me. I feel really bad about it, probably will feel bad for a while…

BUT THEN Tommy came over! And he… kissed me!? And I liked it?!? And now we have a date. On Saturday. 

Yes… the date of their date was circled with a heart around it. “Awww,” Tommy says, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek. Buck laughs and turns the page, then quickly tries to turn it again, but Tommy stops him. “Can I see?” He asks. 

April 6 2024

I BLEW IT.

That was all that was written on that page. In big letters and underlined. Tear stains were scattered across the page. He feels Tommy’s arms tighten around him. “I’m so sorry baby,” he says quietly. 

Buck shrugs; smiles. “It’s all good because…” he skips a page to—

April 12 2024

I FIXED IT!

And now I have a date for the wedding! :)

Tommy barks out a laugh. 

May 6 2024  Buck writes about the bachelor party, and losing Chimney, and coming out to everyone at the hospital wedding

May 19 2024 Buck writes about helping save the kidnapped baby, and spending the night at Tommy’s for the first time. 

May 25 2024 Buck writes about the medal ceremony, and meeting Gerrard, and hating Gerrard, and wanting to fight Gerrard for being mean to Tommy, and wanting to make out with Tommy in front of Gerrard so he can go into homophobic shock and wither away like the old wrinkly ass he is…

May 30 2024 Buck writes about Bobby, and the fear he had about almost losing him. He writes about Christopher going to Texas, and missing him. He writes about Tommy, and how he thinks he can picture forever with him. 

June 23 2024 Buck writes about Gerrard being the new captain. 

September 1 2024 Buck writes about Gerrard finally getting fired permanently. The time under him was miserable; he didn't feel like writing during that time. He writes about Tommy being his rock through it all. He writes about thinking he’s in love. 

The timer goes off in the kitchen. “Well,” Tommy says, pulling Buck into his arms for a kiss. “That was nice, getting to see some of the stuff you keep bottled up. Thank you for sharing it with me.”  

Buck smiles; he feels that damned blush creeping up again. He holds the notebook close to his chest, carrying it with him back into the kitchen. That was close… he thinks. He really needs to find a better hiding place, at least until after their anniversary… 

.

.

.

March 29 2025

I bought a ring. I’m going to ask him to marry me on our anniversary. I want to spend the rest of my life feeling this happy and safe and satisfied. 

.

.

.

April 4 2025

He said yes!

<3<3<3<3<3

might put this one on ao3 later too!

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian > 3: Merlin is Gay > 4: Arthur is Bi

Building off of the whole metaphor idea, Morgana's character arc is basically that she starts to question her identity because she's having all of these dreams and thoughts that she doesn't understand. Then Gaius, who is straight up a conversion therapist, literally gaslights her and is like, 'no no, you're just going crazy, you're overreacting, here, why don't you take all of these drugs to suppress those thoughts?'

Meanwhile, Uther is saying all of this stuff about how sorcerers are all evil and should be killed, and Morgana will try to argue with him and he will just be like, 'well, why do you care so much?' And she's all, 'oh, no reason. I'm just an ally. I'm just really passionate about social justice.' Like, girl, we've all been there.

And then once Morgana does come to terms with her identity and she realises how fucked up the way that she was treated is, she goes batshit and starts a revolution and assassinates her dad. And good for her! I honestly think that all repressed lesbians deserve a little bit of murder, it's only fair, especially if they look so hot doing it.

Also, Morgana doesn't have any male love interests. I mean, she will sometimes flirt with men to manipulate them into doing what she wants, but it's very clear that that is what she is doing, she never actually cares about them or follows through.

Besides, Katie McGrath has never played a heterosexual in her life. She's basically straight up said that she played Morgana as a lesbian. You know where she said that? Here:

Hear me out.

Are they technically half-sisters? Yes. But omg the sexual tension between these two is undeniable. You really do think that they're just going to kiss at any given moment. This has been straight up confirmed. This is a quote from the same conversation as earlier between the main producer and Katie McGrath, where they fully admit that there are definitely lesbian undertones there, and not only did both actresses play it that way, but it was written that way. So I rest my case.

Gwen knew about Morgana's prophetic visions from the start and she was never scared of it or tried to deny that it was magic. Instead, she was always by Morgana's bedside (or in her bed) so she could hold her face and stroke her hair and tell her she would be okay. Gayasses.

Although, as Iori Miyazawa can attest, yuri is often best found in the absence of it. Because once Morgana accepts her identity and her magic becomes an unavoidable part of of her life rather than thoughts she could repress, she begins to push Gwen away, often in the form of telling her not to undress her anymore.

Then this tension between them is emphasised when Morgana starts having nightmares of Gwen marrying Arthur and is really upset by it for some reason. I know that she justifies it by saying that she doesn't want Gwen to take her place as queen, but if you think about that for more than 5 seconds, it makes absolutely no sense. Arthur is still going to be king regardless of who he marries, so unless Morgana is planning to follow the legend a bit too closely and marry her brother, then Gwen is absolutely not taking her place.

And yet Morgana spends the entire rest of the show obsessing over Gwen, including: planting false evidence to break up Gwen and Arthur, using necroLancey as a puppet to seduce her, kidnapping Gwen only to tenderly caress her face and force her to have dinner with her, and then of course enchanting Gwen to kill Arthur so that Morgana can be queen, and Gwen will seemingly also still be queen. And they will be two queens, together, platonically. Hmmm

[our-aroace-experience]

I always thought I was aroace until I met my best friend and got really confused, because I would think about them a lot and I would (after spending a lot of time together) get the fluttery feeling when I was with them. But I've never wanted anything sexual with her.. I think kisses and sex are kinda gross and a waste of time. And we've even talked about it, she doesn't like that stuff either. That's how close and comfy with each other we are. I also talked about it with my therapist and basically my therapist thought it was a crush. If I HAD to put a label on it, I'd agree that "crush" is probably closest. The no sex thing was fine, and actually common for some people like me: some people on the autism spectrum. Anyway, months later, I'm on a walk with best friend and she's talking about their sexuality and they say so smoothly "yeah and I think I have a crush on you." ?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!??!!? OH MY GOD. Holy cow. okay. wow. if someone else had said that to me, I would've been weirded out. I always thought dating was weird and never understood it. But when SHE said it? I got so excited and flustered and I said I think I had a crush on them and we talked. We were confused though because we were like "well, what now? are we dating??" because we didn't wanna kiss and stuff but still we felt like. attached? close? to each other. and what's the point of dates? lets just hang out and chill. we didn't really put a label on it. It's a Qpr, I guess? we're girlfriends, partners, whatever. remember in the jaiden animations video where she says she thought having a partner was just like having an extra special friend or whatever? that's us!! my partner is simply my person. I love them. also after the walk and talk, they asked me "so wanna get married on stardew?" we're both obsessed with the game. I said yes. Im just amazed because I've had other close friends say they had crushes on me but I was always just like "oh :(" because I never understood. and honestly I don't think I do still. but her. my favorite person in the whole world. they understand me. I understand her. we're each other's special person and that's all that matters to me. I love the aroace spectrum because relationships like mine exist and we can feel valid because there's others like us and I just. wow. its just special.

i’m so happy to hear it! best wishes to you and your partner!

[callsign-joyride]

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys | Javy "Coyote" Machado

Summary: You take a break from things with Javy. Lyric: "'Cause it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night. I should've known it was a matter of time." Content warnings: Slight angst with a happy ending, this is very short

Buy me a coffee

For the most part, everything about the relationship that you and Javy had was straight out of a rom-com. He had seen you around The Hard Deck a few times, but it was when you accidentally knocked his beer over that he finally got your number. You spent almost every day together, even though you lived in different apartments. Javy would pick you up after he got done with work and you’d go out for ice cream, or you’d go out for some drinks at The Hard Deck.

The honeymoon phase didn’t last as long as you thought it would, though. Soon enough, you and Javy would start canceling plans on each other, leaving your time together to be solely on weekends. You’d make up excuses for it, though, by telling yourself that you were both busy with your respective jobs, and his was a lot more serious than yours. You were a school nurse, so your schedule was pretty consistent. There would be nights where Javy was forced to stay at work because of one of Hangman’s fuck-ups, or something else.

You were able to understand everything that was going on, but there was a part of you that wasn’t sure if the relationship was going to work out since you didn’t have as much time for each other. It was an act of self-sabotage, really, when you met Javy at The Hard Deck and walked down the shore with him in silence.

“You’ve been quiet. Is everything okay?” He asked.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I love you a lot, but lately, I’ve been getting the feeling that we aren’t as close as we were at the beginning. It’s like we’re too busy for each other, even on weekends. I can tell that you’re still stuck in your work mindset, and it makes me feel like you’re not fully present.”

“So, what are you saying here?”

“I think we need to take a break so that you can work on leaving the work mindset at work. Don’t freak out - I’m not going anywhere, but I think we should put dates on pause so that you can get your stuff figured out.”

“Okay.”

It only took a few weeks for Javy to come back around. He had texted you after work one day, asking if you wanted to go out to eat, and you said yes. The waitress brought your appetizers over when Javy started to tell you about what he’s been doing.

“I started seeing a therapist,” he said.

“Oh, really? How’s that going?”

“Pretty good, actually. She’s helped me work on my mindset, and I’m not thinking about work when I’m not working as often, if that makes sense. You were right, and I’m glad that I listened to you. I actually invited you out because I was wondering if we could get back together. Maybe not pick up from where we left off, but a fresh start.”

You nodded your head and said yes, giggling as he introduced himself to you and asked for your number.

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[pruning-the-minds-garden]

Another one of Those Posts

Mental health and relationship stuff under the cut.

I was trying to be around here more consistently, but life got the better of me for both good and bad reasons. The good is a new job in a more friendly part of the country so I am preparing to move ~3000 miles to the PNW soon. The bad is... well, what we're about to allude to.

It came to a head last night. I was reading a book on female sexuality ("Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski) and realized that much of what's in there could be of interest to my wife. I told her as much. That kicked off a spate of her yelling and crying at me.

Apparently, I am a villain for only caring about female sexuality now that I'm thinking about transition. That is not why I'm thinking thinking about it and in reality I asked my therapist for advice on the subject because of our issues in the relationship and wanting to address them, as well as heading any potential personal issues off at the pass because I have danced that dance before. I have asked prior therapists for similar and not gotten much of use, but this time was different. As soon as I knew it would be useful for her, I shared it with her. That I did not have that book years ago was apparently me intentionally withholding help from her and hurting her in the process. The reasons I did not provide more active support in that and instead gave her the space and resources to solve the problem herself, was three-fold: 1) I did not feel comfortable with interfering in her relationship with her body (i.e. her bodily autonomy) without an explicit say-so, which I never got; 2) She never game me any clear (or even unclear) direction on the kind of help she needed or wanted; and 3) The times I did take the lead, it got so mentally taxing after a while that I had to bow out for my own health. She knew that because I told her, but in her mind that was a conscious decision on my part to hang her out to dry. That speaks to a very... troubling... way she thinks of me in the corners of her mind.

Then she talked about my transition. With a face that twisted at times into what I can only call disgust, she said that she did not know "what she had" and whether I would be a husband, a wife, a spouse, a partner or something else and she wasn't sure she wanted some of those. Now, she has said that she is bisexual for years, and she has supported me in my transition thus far... so that she would reveal that those thoughts and feelings were in her head/heart is... troubling. She says she supports me and affirms my state regardless of what it is, that she loves Me, and says that's enough... but is that true? Does she love me, or does she love me when/if I present masculine and take care of all her needs?

Then, she talked about an incident between us. She'd said she buried the hatchet on that incident and we've talked it to death... but she referred to it in the unfair and reductive way she has in the past, calling it an affair when it was not. It was a consent violation, yes, and I have apologized for that as well as doing my best to make amends... but it was not an affair. Additionally, I don't know how she thinks she has a leg to stand on. She knows me and I am open about everything I do. As well, our relationship started as an affair she had on her ex fiance, without telling me that's what it was, and which happened due to a mismatch between their sex drives. Like, even if that's what it was (which it was not), she ought to understand the reason behind it and have a little forgiveness in her heart for the difficulty therein.

Obviously we need some counseling or something, and that's on the menu if feasible under my new insurance. I just... I don't know what to do with all this. She is treating this like it's my fault for opening the can of worms and everything she said was said in a state of heightened emotion and passion and so isn't really indicative of her thoughts... which, that's fair to an extent... but it also isn't an excuse. She said those things. Those words-as-actions are hers to own, and are her responsibility to deal with the fallout for. They hurt me, a lot. This is also not the first time. I have brought this up with her before, she said she would work on it and change for the better... and now, this.

She has also only gotten less capable of doing anything on her own. More and more chores are my responsibility because her neurodivergent brain just won't let her do them. More and more of her life is my responsibility - things like her student loans which are mine to handle, her prescriptions which I manage, and the bank account which she refuses to check before she makes purchases of things we don't need (but which are nice to have regardless, though doing so at the expense of having any financial cushion is a problem). These things used to not be an issue. I used to be able to trust that she'd take care of the car on her own, but she hasn't gotten the inspection sticker updated for two years nor taken it for an oil change in that time, nor fixed the crack in the windshield, not the headlights. I used to be able to trust that the cats were taken care of, but now I do 100% of the litter box cleaning and 2/3 of the feeding. Things like just maintaining the house, which has fallen apart. I work 40 hrs a week and make 100% of the income for the house... and now it feels like I am doing most of the housework as well. That isn't equitable, when what she does all day is paint-by-numbers, watch Youtube documentaries, and sew/knit/spin. When I get home - and yes, I have brought this up with her several times - she keeps doing those things, but gets mad at me if I don't Just Know which chores need to be done because she has not done them.

None of this feels right, and yet somehow I'M the villain of the tale. I don't think there IS a villain to this story - not me, not her - and that we're both just people... but I very much do not want to be fitted for that Black Hat in her mind, subconsciously or not.

Blah.

[cloudycleric]

hi Ollie! just wanna start by saying I love your channel. your favorite video of mine is the one where you were talking about how you think Will Byers has autism.

you said that you have autism but you were misdiagnosed first and that you thought you couldn't have autism because you had already been told that you don't have it. I was wondering what made you get diagnosed when you'd already been told that you don't have it.

I went to get diagnosed a few months ago but was told that I don't have it. I'm only asking because I genuinely think that I have autism and that it was a misdiagnosis. any advice? also you dont have to answer if its like too personal or something. sorry if its confusing and doesn't make a lot of sense.

also here's a picture of byler kissing to hopefully make your day better! <3

hi hello !!!

thank you for the picture i lobe it!

as for why i decided to retest for autism—

it kinda just… worked out. the more that i thought about it after my first testing came back negative, the more that i realized that i was in fact autistic, & some of the things in document that said i wasn’t autistic were objectively untrue & my mom noticed, too.

that was not fault to the tester, she was lovely, it’s just that a lot of testers only really know how to diagnose traditional autism in amab people. with being afab, or even trans, autism can present itself differently. i know there’s haha jokes about girl & boy autism but, there is some objective truth there. it also doesn’t help testers who have a more deep understanding of the ‘traditional’ autism that people who are afab or trans or whatever have a way better time hiding or masking their autism. i’d say, when deciding to retest, really examine whether or not you feel your are masking.

anywho, back to the story—

my therapist’s office has a child psychologist who specialized in therapy for lgbtq+ youth & occasionally did screenings for things like adhd, autism, among other disorders & neurodivergent stuffs. she was amazing, she was able to work directly with my therapist on parts of the tests & for professional input, as well as used a more friendly test based on experience as a person, not as whether or not you check boxes or act a certain way during certain testing sessions.

the tests it took were the Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Functioning, Second Edition (BRIEF-2), Self-and Parent-Reports & Monteiro Interview Guidelines for Diagnosing the Autism Spectrum, Second Edition (MIGDAS-2), which the psychologist described as much more “affirming” & “validating”. by the end of the session she told me, “i usually don’t immediately say this to clients, but you are very obviously autistic.”

getting that diagnosis was really good because it made people FINALLY start believing me when i said i was autistic. i’ve also noticed that it’s easier for me to de-mask now because i feel like the people around me now know why i act the way i do.

anywho, that’s my story! like i said, i would just really investigate whether or not you felt like the tester had an inaccurate view of you & if you were masking/how much masking you do on a daily basis.

I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[lullaebies]

I’m sure you’re slammed with request, but if you find the time, I was wondering if you had any headcanons about what an argument for the helaegon family would like? And how you think that they would solve their arguments? Sorry if you’ve already gotten this ask!!!💓💓

I have not gotten this ask yet no worries <333 took me a while but got to it!

Helaegon Family in an Argument Headcanons

⇥ first of all, arguments in this family usually occur among three different pairs: Aegon II and Helaena (as the parents and decision makers), Aegon II and Jaehaerys (father and son chewing each other's ankles), and Jaehaerys and Jaehaera (if they have different perspectives about an issue and do not agree they can claaaash)

⇥ With Helaegon arguments, they don't fight in front of the kids, Helaena would death glare him if he even tries to open it by them, but they all know because helaegon fight as siblings do - its very clear when they are upset and even clearer when they start getting petty. The level of side eye is crazy. It could be over serious stuff or really small stuff but no can tell so you can feel the tension. The thing is with them is that they need the right amount of push (usually from Jaehaera who is septa Maegelle reincarnated, Daeron who is kinda like baby no. 1 and family therapist for all of the Greens but is brother, or Maelor who shuts down fights with only pouts), and also need a heart to heart where they can spill everything. Usually Aegon folds first to apologize, when Helaena is angry it's very present and very clear and his guilt creeps up on him, but Helaena would also apologize for any point she hurt him at the end. If she was the one who hurt him first somehow, she probably didn't realize what she said/did was hurtful and it would settle quicker because she would just settle it when she realizes her mistake. In these hcs they are kinda older so they just have understandings and are past having any explosive fights. btw Jaehaerys roots for his mom. Every time.

⇥ With Jaehaerys and Aegon they are the next in the generational family trauma line, so Jaehaerys ends up feeling a lot of what Aegon felt towards Viserys - he feels the neglect sometimes and although Aegon got a bit better as they grew and with Maelor for example its not really the same Jaehaerys still has some anger at him, especially when mom/Jaehaera/Maelor get hurt in the process. These two can end up fist fighting but usually it's petty shit like Jaehaerys bringing Aegon his glass of wine but accidentally dropping it like "oops I lost my grip" with his six fingered hand like 💀 Helaena and Jaehaera can conciliate in these matters, they usually do, but every now and then Aegon has a spark of "I fucked up but I still love you" and comes himself. He would ask Jaehaerys to go on rides with him on their dragons and talk somewhere a bit far away from KL or something like that, and the peace will be restored again. For a while at least!

⇥ And the fights of Jaehaera and Jaehaerys... it does not happen often. the twins usually get along very well, they have established roles in their siblinghood (is this a word? lmao) and they work very well together... but when they disagree, or when Jaehaerys teases Jaehaera too much, or when Jaehaera puts too much stress on Jaehaerys - practically fire in the house. They're younger and they can get into physical squabbles too when upset and namecalling and everything - the twins are usually considered very mature (read: repressed) for teenagers, but when they fight they become their most childish selves and all of their hurts get out. Helaena and Aegon would have to sit with them seperately and try to calm them down, Maelor is like ????? 'why do I gotta choose a side' and generally it's like a very weird split in the house and NOBODY likes it. It can last a while, but is usually broken when one twin sees the other too distraught, about their fight or about something unrelated. I think for Jaehaerys especially it would be hard to stay angry at Jaehaera because I hc him as a wee bit of a protective brother. Generally at the end they would have issues without the presence of the other and solve it - these two are very reliant on each other due to the family dysfunction, and at the end they find their empathy for each other once more.

⇥ Maelor doesn't get into fights. He ends them. When he's young, my guy will pull up a fairytale book saying "you shouldn't be mean to each other" with a cute face and no one can refute him. When he's older it can be the same but with an actual book of laws or philosophy Aemond/Daeron gave him and with actual clauses. He kinda mad they never fight in front of him though. "But mom it was just getting interestingggggg!! I'm not a baby anymore I have an opinionnnnnn I can weigh in on thisssss😭😭" Sorry Maely but you will always be baby.

[bil-daddy]

Salutations Mr Bildad, Bildad the Shuhite, Bildaddy sir.

I'm so so sorry to bother you, or be a nuisance, but everything is getting on top of me lately and you give excellent advice.

Basically, the last 12-18 months have been awful - I'm acutely aware that in terms of what's happening in the world I'm pretty blessed 🙏🏻 However within around 12 months experiencing; a miscarriage, 4 bereavements, one parent being rushed into hospital, the other needing surgery (both are doing Ok now thank God 🙏🏻), two surgeries of my own within six months - neither of which have improved what they should have, chronic pain, multiple diagnoses - most of which were unexpected & should have been diagnosed a looonnnnggg time ago, reactions to any& all medications, finding out physio will be necessary for the rest of my life, a very upsetting break up, discovering people who were supposed to be friends can't be trusted...... Let's not forget financial issues due to being unable to work as result of illness etc .... I am losing hope that things are ever going to get better 😔

I'm so so sorry for offloading all this on you but work said they could no longer offer counselling which is infuriating because the counsellor was amazing! Sadly she isn't taking on any private patients for several months so we had to discontinue sessions for the foreseeable 😔

I'm so sorry but I don't really have any other people to talk to right now, my fiancé was my best friend so in a sense it's almost a double loss? Sorry this is pretty pathetic 😪

Yikes. And here I thought @blameless-job had it bad.

So, first off, let me tell you how sorry I am for all your losses. Any of which on their own are extremely painful, but all at the same time? Nobody should have to weather a storm like that. I am so proud of you, just for being here. You're incredibly strong for what you're surviving, even though you shouldn't even have to survive it in the first place.

So don't apologize cause there's nothing pathetic about reaching out for help when you're going through something--or multiple somethings, in your case. In fact, it's exactly the thing you need to do. A lot has been dumped onto your plate, so it makes sense you need to offload it.

I know your former counsellor isn't able to help you at the moment, but maybe they can refer you to someone else, because you deserve a professional (in psychology, not shoemaking and obstetrics) to help you through these tragedies. They might be able to get you a referral.

(If you want to try to find a counsellor on your own, there's NHS Therapy Services in the UK, and SAMHSA National Helpline in the US.)

In the meantime, though, I'll do my best.

If you're worried that things are never going to get better, you shouldn't be. I mean I understand why you are, but the fact is, as dark as this is to say, you might actually be at your lowest point right now. Which means, as awful as things are right now, things can only go up from here.

You got some new diagnoses, which suck to have, especially when they should have been caught earlier, but now that you have a diagnosis, you can start getting treated.

You're six months out from two surgeries and haven't gotten better, but in six more months, or even six weeks, you might start to see some improvement. Plus, once you start the phsyio therapy you now know you need, you can troubleshoot with the physical therapist on how to make more improvements on the issues you had surgery for, as well as the chronic pain. The physical therapist might also be able to refer you to a counsellor as well, if your previous counsellor isn't able to give you one.

But that's just the physical stuff.

It's the emotional stuff that hurts more. Losing loved ones, be it to death, breakup, or just realizing your friends aren't really friends. That kind of pain is even more difficult to deal with.

For the bereavements, it might be helpful remember the good times you shared with these people and the things you loved most about them. They may be gone now, but those memories aren't and they're even more valuable now that they are the parts of your loved ones that are still with you.

And when you're living your life, and you see or hear something that reminds you of them, like a favourite song, or the kind of car they used to drive, that's another way they're still with you.

You might cry the first few, or few hundred times you remember them, but after awhile you'll start smiling more and crying less when you think about them.

For the miscarriage, it's a bit tougher, since you're grieving what could have been, rather than what was. But it's still a loss as valid as any other loss of a loved one, so you have every right to grieve it as such. You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your child. And the miscarriage is why your fiancé and you are no longer together, you have my deepest sympathy for that, too.

It would be easy for me to say "the trash took itself out" when it comes to ex-fiancés and fake friends, but much harder for you to actually feel that way.

You have the right to grieve the friendships and your relationship ending. To miss them even though they hurt you. To feel hurt, and betrayed, and angry, and still love them anyway, even if you can't be around them anymore. It's okay to hate them, too, if you need to. Not forever. But in the short term, it can be cathartic and exactly what you need.

It'll take time for all these overwhelming and conflicting feelings to fade, and it's possible they'll never completely be gone. But you will learn to live alongside them until you forget they're even there.

You will feel better, I promise you. Een if the light at the end of the tunnel looks like a distant star right now, you'll reach it.

So have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey

Hope this helps, even just a little. Mutuals, feel free to send good vibes @ashbunny2027's way

[biohazard-4ever]

I just talked with someone who said "Only Claire can keep up with Leon destructive behavior since they've been friends for many years" and say this just because she understand leon.

Like, i find this fucking horrible to say this ? Especially that Claire already have to deal with her owns trauma etc, just imagine you cop with a depressing, unstable, alchoolic and a bit suicidal partner ? Like Leon is literally mentally weak, he let himself getting used by kinda everyone because he's trying to convince himself he's doing it for the right thing (since he see himself as a weapon LOL) who obviously never checked a therapist, or trying to wake up himself (It's literally Chris in VEN who woke up Leon.) and just because Claire understand him. It's not enough, and obviously they never had to deal with thoses type of stuff.

Like for me so far, Leon is too damn unstable for any type of shit and doesn't "deserve" to be with Claire yet.

Im just wondering if im the weirdo here. 💀

I already mentioned something about Leon deserving Claire right here: LINK

But I have one thing I must add to all this... Chris was not the "only one" who helped Leon from that mental stage. Rebecca was there too and also the call from Patricio's wife and the tiny voice of his daughter, it all rang a bell in Leon's mind.

Besides, as someone who watched the movie with the comentarists (and directors of the movie), they mentioned why they did the way they did Leon's "redemption" and "back-to-action" moment and why it all happened so fast.

And the reason was: Low budget, and they wanted Leon in the movie ready for Action and not dwell on it for too long. That was not the focus of the movie.

So they needed Leon to just... Get back to it the next scene. With Chris being there or not -, the second Rebecca got kidnapped what did Leon say?

"There goes my vacation, again!"

Regardless of Chris existing in the movie or not. Leon would get back to his feet again for Rebecca.

But they also wanted to write Leon as a defeated-hero because: That would be popular among his fangirls (and RE4R is the prove it does work), and because Chris already had that moment in RE6 and they liked the plot so they wanted to give it to Leon, too.

And no, it is not a lie that only Claire can pull out with Leon AND VICE VERSA.

Like how only Chris and Jill really understand what they went through in the Spencer mansion.

No matter how vividly Leon and Claire try to describe what they lived in Raccoon City -, only they know.

Only they know what happened in the aftermatch.

Only they know the burden of needing to fake a smile to a child when they were as hopeless and lost about where to go from there.

Only they know the relief of reuniting with each other after such a drama.

Only they know what they went through. It is not a lie. Leon and Claire went through this together and it is no wonder that, for Leon, -, she is HIS PARTNER in this.

Not Jill, not Chris, not Rebecca... CLAIRE Is. So yes, She is the one he trusts and can find some sort of comfort. And I am not speaking any of this saying: "ROMANTICALLY, THEY ARE PERFECT"

I am saying this in a: Their friendship is what is keeping them sane in this time.

RE4OG, When Krauser asks Leon what he is fighting for...? Guess the image that comes to his mind? Claire.

Not because he is FIGHTING FOR HER. But because he is fighting for who he was -, for his past.

In RE6? In his file he mentions Claire and Sherry. Especially Sherry when mentioning about why he "don't end himself once and for all"

So... Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Claire is the only one capable to.

No one is saying: "THIS IS HER RESPONSIBILITY TO DO IT". What we are saying is that OUT OF A PROFESSIONAL HELPER, only Claire knows. Only she really knows.

Only Leon knows, too. It is vice-versa. But to add to the equation, Leon is being forced to work for people that hurt others and are to blame for all this mess, while Claire genuinely believes and loves her job.

Huge difference here.

Leon is living doing something against his will

Claire loves her job and believes in what she does.

As someone who went through a job she hated and did not believe in... I tell you Leon's problem is not ONLY RC. It is the now, the present. And friends like Claire -, friends who went through the same shit as you but are doing something GOOD out of the same experience bring us HOPE.

It is almost a SALVATION for him to know Claire is doing so well. As he says in RE:DEGENERATION -, Claire followed a path he couldn't follow. And she is not wrong for that.

[sothischickshe]

Up for a discussion question? If we’d gotten a full season three as intended, what would you have expected/liked to see from Beth and Rio?

Hey sweetie, I'm always up for a discussion question danke 🙇🏼‍♀️🥰❤️

I stand by what I said once re what i'd've liked to see from s3, particularly: the full s3 😭😭, whatever their vision for that was, so I could judge it on its own merits!! It remains a very romantic concept to me, bc while I certainly have my issues with other plots in s3 (terrible therapist, donor family, here's a hitman let's give him all our money woo, dean's salesman shenanigans & boring affair with gale etc) the angsty messy sexy brio scenes were soooo delicious 🥺🖤 and then while I understand s4 had a lot to reset from/deal with, s4 (b)rio frequently doesn't make all that much sense to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

but also! i finally started posting a fic which is kinda about that? (rio pov, post s3, eventually very long etc). so im gonna say a lil more (thus warning: minor fic spoilers) behind the cut...

....but this thing keeps moving where i put the readmore?!

how do u make a website this bad. um anyhow

pay-off to the boring dean/gale stuff!! helllooooo beth and dean both sleeping with their bosses?! hilarity goldmine no?!

MORE RHEA. like you can't just introduce a character beth's having a quasi-romance with & rio's presumably had an actual one with, who's seen them both at their softest and uncovered worstnesses, and is surely best placed to comment on say their similarities and then do nothing with it???

beth and rio yelling at each other. surely this was coming??

not ending on that next time empty the clip line (which i don't like) / wrapping up the hitman plot

given the (sudden!) arrival of nick in s4 and depressing rio backstory, i'd've loved some suggestion that rio was like consciously paralleling nick & beth's betrayals of him & considering them as similar and/or that his mentoring of beth had something to do with even the vaguest of plans to extricate himself from nick (plus Revenge) etc

like. acknowledgment and processing of trauma???

weird angsty sex

more brio bar scenes, more brio drinking, more brio laughing (at each other)

if not the furniture return, then at least it being more a topic of conversation...like how wasnt it? beth pitching ideas for earning the return (at least of her kids' stuff??) or rio holding it over her head or at least him going on abt how much he's enjoying her lamps or something!

death divorce. the show held this over our head for far too long. i also like this being decoupled from the brio stuff as much as plausible. beth needs to divorce dean not bc she's interested in rio but bc dean is the worst.

plenty of boland bubbles, that spot lasted abt 0.4 seconds after we sat through all that dean nonsense... we should have at least got rio testing out an empty hot tub cos he doesnt know theyre supposed to have water in or something.

inordinate amounts of brio bickering

ending of hitman/plot consciously paralleling s1 and 2 finales, even if it wasn't literally beth + rio + some man + a gun (ideally with some rationale as to how rio finds said hitman, whether or not that was a reveal of his magical powers)

Incentive Convo Callbacks (also rio vs sushi like a million more times, pls)

scars.

[nymph-ette111]

I’m happy to know you enjoy our interactions too and that you liked my little tangent there. I’m glad that you searched for accounts from actual people who have the disorder rather than pseudo-psychologists, because they are often the harshest without a shred of accuracy (just the way they talk about the narcissist’s eyes turning a demonic black is enough to make me exit the article).

To be fair, Quora is one of the worst places when it comes to accepting people with npd. So I’m glad you managed to find something that didn’t conclude in a pro-eugenics rant lead by a divorced dad who is certain his ex wife is a narcissist because she took the kids. And since I chose my first paper this school year to be about npd and gender (we could write about anything, it was to test our abilities in general), I had to go through a ton of those. They ranged from absolutely hilarious to restraining order worthy. Thankfully Google Scholar saved me from that (though I would never suggest reading studies upon studies on a topic for x reader headcanons, I’m only saying this to sort of validate where my understanding of it came from). Since, yk, it’s a relatively fresh thing (recognised since the 80s I believe) and the fact that I had a therapist who diagnosed me correctly and knew how to approach it is pure luck

Also just any dog metaphor is delightful but it fits so well with Toby too?? Like, it just feels so right when people do that. And I can genuinely see Jeff having some npd traits, good call^^

Ben is just so!!! He’s awful in the best way. I want to kiss him and also put him in a blender for fun :3 i want to drive him insane. And also hold hands maybe. Like, yeah, realistically I would lose my sanity if he liked me but he’s so fun

Also yeah, that’s why I like your blog so much. You don’t shy away from making them hard to be around, hurt, mean. All kinds of messed up but also fun to read about. That’s why I also said that they would probably have an easy time with hurting me mentally, bc if they were aware of just how paranoid I am they would absolutely do what I did in that friend example, only 10 times worse (like, specifically saying stuff they know gets a reaction out of me to force me to stay or do whatever). In all honesty, this might be just why I like creepypasta characters (especially this specific portrayal of them). I mean, it does fit into that type of ‚pleople may be nice but they are out to get you at all times so you need to act to survive’. It’s kind of a safe way to experience something that is both natural to me and also absolutely unsafe irl. Like, yeah, I would have to walk on eggshells to be with Toby but also that is the way I see any sort of relationship either way. Sometimes, I’m more uncomfortable with the pure fluff bc that feels fake and unnatural. On that note, Toby to me is so untreated-bpd coded

-⭐︎

Agreed Ben is so fucking stupid I want to gnaw on him and push him down the stairs, what a silly fella. You don't know how happy it made me when you said you liked my blog :') when I shared my first post I thought it wouldn't get any attention, and I would just end up deleting the blog all together so hearing someone actually enjoys these little headcanons I make about fictional serial killers is so nice <3

you said everything so perfectly I have nothing to add, and yes toby is fucking miserable any disorder he has is 100% untreated and yes I love him and yes I want him and—

[destinyc1020]

I think that many of this SM4 rumors come from different factions that are pushing certain stuff at negotiations. I don't think that SM4 had anything to do with the delay of Euphoria because contractually Euphoria would have taken priority over Spidey for Z since Zs Spidey contract (and its precedence over Euphoria) expired with NWH. Also Sydney straight up said that Euphoria was going to be her next project so this decision to delay Euphoria was very recent and the most likely reason is that Sam is going through some shit probably triggered by the deaths of Angus and Turen and he's not accepting for anyone else to help him with the writing (I do think that the Euphoria situation is a major contributing factor to Zs stress. She's not only the lead of the show, but also a producer and a close friend of Sam. We know she would go to his house to motivate him to write during S2. All of this shit should be stressful as hell for her. I think she needs to be ready to walk away if Sam is not willing to get help with the writing. She can't put her career on hold to be a therapist for a friend)

Anyway, we saw during NWH press how Amy Pascal straight up lied to reporters saying that Tom had signed a new Spidey contract. I would bet good money that many of these fake leaks are coming from her. There are billions of $$ involved with the franchise, and when there's so much money at stake people become ruthless. I would not believe anything about SM4 unless it's coming from Variety, Deadline or THR. Until then I'm not going to stress about Spidey at all

Thanks Anon for your input ☺️

Well.... All I'll say is that I definitely hope that Z isn't stressing out about "Euphoria" based on Sam's account. 🥴

While I love Zendaya's incredibly sweet heart and kind nature, I really don't think she should be responsible for babysitting a nearly 40-year old man, and holding his hand to get his freakin' work done. 🙄😒

Going over his house to try to "motivate" him to write??? 🥴 I'm sorry, but NO. 😒 He is a GROWN MAN. My coworkers don't come over to my house to try to get me to sit at my computer and do my job anytime I'm having an emotional or mental bad day. 👀

If the deaths of Angus and Turen have been too much for him (which is totally understandable), then he needs to hire some writers (like NORMAL directors do), OR, take a bit of a break, and revive the show for one last season years from now. 👀 He could even do what "Downton Abbey" does, and just make a full-feature film at the theater after the show seasons ended lol 😆

Making a 2-hour film might actually be easier for him than trying to do 8 one-hour episodes. 👀

Either way, I hope Sam is getting some therapy. 👀 I just think it's incredibly stressful (and shows a lack of common courtesy) to your cast to be taking years to write stuff that really should have been finished long time ago, and to be changing scripts LAST MINUTE every single filming day 🙄(cuz the cast has def talked about this 👀).

Let's also not forget how the crew was constantly complaining all during the S2 filming about the crazy conditions they were under. 🥴

Idk, maybe it's just me, but it just seems to lack common courtesy... but maybe Sam is a perfectionist. 🤷🏾‍♀️