#/All this cutting was a pain in the ass but totally worth it.

[lethal-spaceship]

Have been trying my hand at traditional art recently. I think these are pretty neat.

[the-floral-perspective]

Creepypasta kink headcannons!

In honor of (late) Valentine’s Day 😏 yk the drill, mentions of sexual topics! Do not read if uncomfortable!! MDNI 18+

Jeff the killer

-major sadomasochist, LOVES pain and loves causing pain too.

-hard dom energy fr

-definitely has a knife kink omg, but like almost to an extreme level, it’s a little concerning. He also loves fucking to horror gore movies and tbh has some more taboo kinks I won’t go into much detail abt.

-his biggest fantasy is fucking someone from behind and seeing all the pain he’s inflicted on them (scratch marks, slap marks maybe some blood ykyk)

Jane the killer

-tbh major role player, soft dom energy too.

-orgasm controller, loves overstim or teasing. Just LOVES giving someone immense pleasure that they just stop working completely.

-has a specific roleplay idea that she LOVES, oddly religious, like she’s a cult leader ‘sacrificing’ a new recruit, but sexual.

-like she likes pretending to be a leader of sorts and tying up whoever she’s with and either 1. Eating them out 2. Fucking them or 3. Putting a vibrator to them, until they physically can’t anymore.

Ben drowned

-switch energy, can be totally submissive and 100% dominant whenever.

-morning sex is top TEIR.

-loves filming ykyk and keeping pictures. Totally a masochist too.

-DESPERATE SEX, never ending sex or something like that ong. Maybe a slight breeding kink and bondage.

-I think his libido is pretty high tbh, so his biggest fantasy is probably like sneaking into his spouses shower after sex and fucking them again. Like he’s into desperate, passionate sex where neither can get enough of each other. Like he wants to be pussy-whipped by the end of the day lol and his spouse would be dick-drunk too.

Clockwork

-pleasure dom. She LOVES giving head, like genuinely one of her fave things.

-or like obsessive and possessive sex yk. She likes showing her territory or something like that. Like proving her worth whenever she gets jealous???

-Ik I headcannon her as ace, but ace people can still feel sexual desire! It’s a spectrum! This is when she does get yk.

Ticci Toby

-switch easily

-he likes his senses being taken away, but like ALL his senses except for touch. Bro is a huge masochist fr. Like if you put noise cancelling headphones and cover his eyes he’s hard as an mf.

-adrenaline junkie at heart, is a little bit of a voyeur, but more risky than the other pastas. Like public bathrooms, alleyways, or like under the blankets when hanging with other pastas.

-tbh lil pervy

Judge Angels

-dom ass worshipper lol

-idk the name but likes getting a show, like stripteases??? Tbh thinks they’re silly but like, likes the idea that someone is actively TRYING their hardest to arouse her. So basically humiliation.

-would totally be down to peg tbh, like she likes being a hard dom and like making someone who is normally so authoritative or monotone and making them pathetic and subby.

-loves corruption.

Puppeteer

-sadist dom frfr

-if you’d be aight with it he’d totally slap you, ONLY DURING THE DEED THO. He does hit irl or without permission, he just likes the look of marks or like mascara tears.

-loves tying people up a lot too with his yellow strings.

-also has a slight breeding kink lol I wonder where that came from

Nurse Ann

-soft dom fr

-I know I said she’s soft, but like she totally is into blood play. But she’s like gentle and praising yk, like she’d totally cut you but she’d lick up the blood and give you praises :)

-small… tiny little mommy kink going on yk. Don’t know where it comes from, but it’s definitely a thing that gets her going lolz.

-is a sexual yapper istg, like she talks a LOT. I feel like yes, she does moan, but she also just TALKS.

Bloody Painter

-switch mostly dom tho

-I think he’s into food play tbh, like whipped cream and chocolate syrup. LOVESSS making messes. (Hates cleaning them tho, coward.) he just likes the sweetness yk and also has an oral fixation so yk.

-loves being cockwarmed omg. He loves just forcing you to feel him and not being able to do anything about it. Or even just staying in you after sex because your so warm and tight he doesn’t wanna leave.

-specific sounds??? Like odd ones tho, like gagging sounds or slurping sounds. Whether sexual or not he doesn’t know why he gets hella bricked

Rouge

-switch (leans submissive)

-has a kink for hands, like LOVES hands and forearms omg. Not the super veiny ones, but the skinny defined ones. Loves getting like (consensually) groped and manhandled.

-I AM NOT GOING TO LIE, I think she likes the idea of ghost-fucking. I mean, she is some sort of ghost now, but like, the idea that someone dead is watching her she doesn’t know about and is able to touch her??? Like it gets her turned ONNNN, idk maybe she thinks it’s her dead fiancé 😭

-does not make that much sounds during tbh, like let’s out light whimpers but nothing else. What she does do tho??? She moves. A lot. I don’t think she has a kink for being tied down as much as she’d like being held down 😏

Masky

-hard dom

-believes in power balances, and is totally into soft BDSM.

-he’s hella into spanking and is a slight sadist (he balances it out tho with like overstimulation) he’s not at all a masochist fr

-huge fan of dirty talk and pet names, like tbh kinda nicely dehumanizes??! Idk if that’s the word I should use. But he LOVES like dumbing down his girl and like idk like “just sit back, I’ll take care of you baby, just let me do that, alright?”

Laughing Jill

-switch

-tbh I really don’t think she’s that much into sex at all. Like sure she’ll give head and whatnot, but her libido is too low for me to have much headcannons.

-I feel like she’d be into pegging and probably more of a pleasure dom. When she’s subbing than she’s getting the attention yk, but she’s a classic gal yk, she likes the basics.

-sweet, simple and passionate sex yk, like with soft moans, and light scratches on the back yk.

Hoodie

-probably a dom

-I feel like he’s kind of repulsed by sex tbh tho, like his drive isn’t that big. When he’s turned on tho things r spicy 😏

-big thing for mirror sex, like he loves seeing peoples faces as he’s fucking them. It just gets him into a rut, also like, he kinda compares himself to how he looks in the mirror, so he’ll go faster and harder to “compete” almost.

-nylon fetish probably, but without the feet aspect. He just likes ripping them open and fucking someone deeply yk. He probably loves the whole idea of stockings and whatnot too, like THIGHS. Someone needs to thigh fuck him stg.

Laughing Jack

-switch (mostly sub tho tbh)

-electrostimulation tbh, he LOVES getting the shock of it. Literally. Like this ties in hella with his strong masochism. Idk whenever he gets shocked, he just always gets hard and needy. Desperate mfer.

-shibari bondage, but on HIM. Loves being tied up 100% just the feeling of the rope on his skin turns him on, like the slight burn he gets when it rubs certain places. It hurts like a bitch, but he only gets hornier.

-masochist (as listed above), he LOVES being slapped n whatnot. It’s a little hard to hurt him tho.

Jason the Toymaker

-soft??? Hard??? dom

-somnophilia (fucking someone who is asleep), he LOVES waking someone up to pleasure or just completely surprising someone awake like that. The sleepiness and all of it he just finds adorably arousing.

-dumbification?? He loves dumbing down his spouses during sex. It gives him a power balance thing idk. It also might just be like an innocence thing too.

-he also just generally loves having full and total dominance over his spouse sexually, like he WEARS the pants and princesses you, so don’t question him.

Zero

-hardest dom in town.

-loves hatefucking and just taking complete control over whoever she’s with. Even if she’s with a dom, somehow she will break them down to a sub.

-loves aphrodisiacs and other stuff like that. Also does not like giving pleasure, she only takes it. Whenever she does give pleasure it’s only to turn herself on more than what she is so she can get full use of you and your body.

-very selfish lover tbh

Homicidal Liu

-switch (leans sub)

-boob fucker, loves the honka honka.

-aggressive toy user, like he brings out toys that look like actual SAW contraptions fr. Even has a rose toy and one of those moving fleshlights. Does not use his toys that often, but uses the others on you a LOT. Has nipple clamps for you.

-also really into spanking and gagging (getting gagged 😏) he likes the ripple ykyk. LOVES cumming on you and in you too, fr this man is a cum machine…. He wouldn’t mind getting overstimulated.

Nina the Killer

-bratty sub

-along with Kate, loves exposing herself and having her body be on show. Would probably be interested in getting watched by another person while getting screwed.

-loves being praised and called princess, but sometimes when she’s sad she wants something hella physical to make herself feel worse.

-gets more wet when getting dirty talked to more than being touched lol

Candypop

-prob a switch

-TO BE HONEST,,, COSTUMES LIKE SEXY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. Those are his kink + if there’s STOCKINGS. He basically cums in his pants fr.

-tbh think he’s kind of vanilla, but like, in a free use type of way. Like he’s into like taking you whenever he feels like it (if he has your consent) and also being used whenever you feel like it.

-but like aside from the costumes and free use thing, I think he’s simple like that yk. Idk I don’t think he has that much pizzazz in his sex life, bro just LOVES quickies.

Kate The Chaser

-mostly dom

-has a specific fantasy for car sex and doing it in inconvenient places. Not a voyeur, but if you guys were in an abandoned house she’d totally do you against multiple surfaces. Or like a tree deep in the woods.

-LOVES mutual masturbation, or like stalking someone while they’re masturbating. Also loves having someone fucking her thigh.

-gets off on exposing herself (only whenever asked to by other people.)

Eyeless Jack

-Soft dom 100% fr

-YOU KNOWWW he has a breeding kink, like that’s just who he is. He can’t help but to cum in you when you look so pretty :(

-totally a somno too, but he’d never act it out unless y’all have talked about it.

-also likes predator/prey play, this one connects with bondage. As he is literally a demon, he LOVES fucking someone significantly weaker or something of the lines.

Dr Smiley

-experimentalist at heart, switch probably.

-likes temperature play, like with ice and candle wax yk. He loves to test out his babes reaction to the sudden changes. He likes feeling them too, especially the ice going down his happy trail.

-medical play 😔 he likes to act as a doctor who takes advantage of his patients in his lab, but he’d never actually do that. It’s just roleplay.

-also huge munch btw, loves having his face be sat on.

[konigsblog]

༉‧₊˚. stepdad!könig thots ...

tw: stepcest, somnophillia, non-con/rape, dumbification, forced self degrading, degrading, cheating, daddy kink, college!reader...

｡*ﾟ+⭒·｡*ﾟ+⭒

note: stepdad!könig drives me crazy :'3

not proofread, pls correct errors or point them out in the cmmts :) comments and reblogs are appreciated !!!

Your stepfather is a cruel, strict man. He expects the best of the best from you. You're his little princess, he hates punishing you, but god, the way his thick cock gets all hard when he see's that pretty, upset expression. Perhaps it's your tears, or perhaps it's the way he fantasies about rutting into you while you're mother is away at work.

He knows he's horrible for it, a total and complete jerk for going behind your mother's back—and yours too. When he see's you asleep on your bed, with textbooks and websites on your computer open for the exam next morning, he can't help but twitch, his breath hitching in his throat at the opportunities infront of him. “Meine Gott...” he chuckles, palming himself through his jeans before taking a step closer.

Through your baggy pjama shorts, he can see your thin, white panties. It drives him crazy, and you have to believe him when he says that it's not just fault—and if anything, it's yours for being so scandalous or promiscuous around a man like him. You're filthy, aren't you?

He slowly pulls your shorts down, taking them off of your unconscious figure. He rubs his weeping tip between your slit over your panties until they're transparent with your sweet cum. “Don't move, prinzessin.” König growls out under his breath, moving your panties to the side to slip his bulbous, wet cock into your tight hole. “Oh, you naughty girl-Hah...” he breathes out, smacking your ass painfully to your surprise.

It shocks you awake, your head stirring, dizzy and confused after waking up from a nap in this setting. König's large hand grips your hair tightly, pushing it down against your book as he begins rutting into you. Not giving you a second to adjust to his size, he begins thrusting erratically. It's painful, burning between your soft thighs at the force of his big dick into your wetness. “Ow—stop--!!” you plead, gripping your bedsheets tightly as he begins going harder, one hand on your hip and pounding into you restlessly.

“Don't try me, Puppe. You've been dreaming of this, ja? Wearing such short shorts and expecting not to be touched like this.” his hand goes underneath your body cupping and grabbing your by the pussy while his thumb runs over your clit, rubbing it in circles. “König—No!” you squirm, panicking as he rams into your cunt over and over again! To say it's not sore is a lie, and you quickly begin to feel lightheaded from the ache between your thighs.

His veiny, hard shaft rubs against your gummy walls. Veins lugging and dragging against your walls while you pulse around him uncontrollably! “Look at you—call yourself a slut, because that's all you are!” he grumbles out, smacking your ass painfully, earning him a broken sob. “I-I'm a slut...”—“For who?” König cuts you off, making you weep harder. It's the way your cunt squeezes and drools around his huge dick, in a way that only drives him crazy.

“You...” it doesn't help that you're so depraved and desperate for praise that you'll do—almost—anything for praise, especially from your stepfather. A guttural chuckle leaves his lips, smacking your ass again, causing it to ache. “That's right, a slut for your daddy. A dumb one, at that.” König makes you shudder and throb around him, repeating his words over and over again as he fucks you raw and dumb.

“A dumb whore for me.” you plead for gentleness, but you're met with a rough and painful—yet deserved—fucking. It's all your worth around your stepfather as he pumps and drives his achingly hard dick into your swollen folds like you're a fleshlight and nothing more than that. Your pussy begins spamming around him, an irresistible urge you can't help. Tears soaked the pages of the textbook infront of you, and your voice is hoarse from a screaming.

“What are you, mäuschen?” König asks as slows down his pace, broad hips meeting your ass, holding it there. “Were you listening? You're a dumb, dumb fucktoy for me to use. Say it.” when he picks up his ruthless pace, you're almost silenced. Raping you like you're worth a penny—not even that. “I'm a dumb fucktoy for you to use...” you say through exhaustion, breathless.

Your orgasm draws closer with each thrust. White, hot, and sticky release pulls you closer and closer to euphoria. That burning, rupturing feeling in your stomach pulling at your orgasm causing you to whine out. “Please, daddy, I just want to cum...” you beg, gasping when König pulls you by your hair, forcing your back to his chest and your back arched. König is hunched over, his lips beside yours as he degrades you. “Go on, work for it.”

You're so numb that you didn't even notice how he'd stopped moving. Bouncing your ass back, a mewl leaving your lips, before you bite your bottom, quivering lip. Your ass aches from his spankings, and you're too far gone to even think of what your mother would think...

Squeezing around his thick, meaty shaft as you fuck yourself back onto his wet cock. You pulse around him, your hands pulled behind your back. You stutter, shuddering as you cream around him, pussy drenched with your cum. You cry out, shaking and trembling. König pushes you down against the bed harshly, pushing you onto your side and lifting your leg up into the air. He ploughs into your raw hole over and over again while you whimper and cry.

White, hot release drips from his cock as he spurts ropes and ropes of his cum into you. Dumping a load into your walls before pulling out. He lets out a low grumble, balls coated in cum and slick. You're half passed out from the aggression forced onto you.

Left with wet cheeks, a sore cunny and your stepfather's thick cum oozing down your thighs.

[robins-egg-bindery]

Windows by @drgrlfriend

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

fic by @drgrlfriend

art by @maichan808 & @andavs-main

368 pages / 83,266 words

Title Font: PP Hatton

Body Fonts: Cardo, Geo

HAPPY FFWAD!!! Thank you @renegadepublishing for putting on this event in celebration!

More on the process below the cut!

I'm so excited to be posting this book! Super grateful @drgrlfriend was so down to let me bind Windows for Fan Fiction Writer Appreciation Day. This is one of my all-time favs, and I was thrilled to give it the treatment it deserves! @maichan808 & @andavs-main were also incredibly kind to allow me to include their stunning art pieces in the book <3 And thank you @renegadepublishing for putting this event together!

I wanted the typeset to be visually interesting and move around the page, without making it difficult to read. I created unique headers for each of the 28 chapters with royalty free art, and varied placement on the page in six different configurations. I also played with the text warp to make the text work as part of the image - one of my favorites is chapter 26, "Banshee", pictured above!

I used Brick duo for this bind, as part of the vision for the front cover, which was done in silver permanent vinyl. I think the rich rust color is perfect for how I would imagine Stiles & Derek's apartment building, and the silver is incredibly reflective - my favorite part is how the vinyl catches the light on the spine, and can reflect "Windows" on whatever surface it's on (pictured above). That's not an added effect, it's just doing that!

I did @tankbredgrunt's faux double-core headband with some Sulky Gutermann I bought at a secondhand store for $0.25, and it's so pretty! A bit thin to work with, but totally worth it for the multi-color effect it gives off.

And I finally got a proper crisp hinge! I think it really brings the whole book together, thank you knitting needles (even though you were a pain in the ass).

This project also marks my 100th book! I'm rapidly approaching the two year mark of my fanbinding career with no sign of stopping; thank you to this entire community, and all of the fandoms I've been able to bring this hobby to. I love how cross-fandom it is; and for an old floater like me, it's wonderful to bring all of my interests together and have something that transcends those lines.

HAPPY FAN FICTION WRITER APPRECIATION DAY!

[void-18]

DAR NATASHA: JEALOUS

Trigger: Smut, forced pregnancy, and violence

(Natasha pov)

Y/n and I were currently at one of Tony's big events. As I was sent by Fury to make sure nothing happened to Tony I couldn't help but feel attracted to his little sister, Y/n Stark. Y/n was only 3 years younger than me and was just as smart as her brother. I had kept my cover from getting blown until I started to watch Y/n more than Tony. I started to make sure nobody would come close to her, touch her, and I even became personally close with her. We would sit in her room and talk about anything and everything, we became close. It got so close that we developed feelings for each other, we started with little things like subtle touches, whispering things, and hanging out when I wasn't watching Tony. It was until I started to lose focus of the mission and decided to dedicate myself to strengthening my relationship with Y/n. I didn't mean to feel anything for this girl, for once in my life, something caught me by surprise. I was caught when Y/n and I were making out on her bed. I was about to remove her shirt when Tony came in raising hell.

Once my cover was blown, Fury directed me to stay away from Y/n and help Tony figure out whose behind all the chaos. Did I listen to the order? Of course not. I paid heavy attention to Tony and the mission but I also made time for Y/n. In total we have been dating for 6 months and we've been happy together. The only thing I would say is the pain in the ass is Tony, Fury, and everyone around Y/n. They keep getting in the way of us being happy.

My thoughts were cut off when I see Y/n brought up on stage along with Tony's business partner. As Tony was giving his speech, the partner stayed besides Y/n putting his hand on her waist and whispering things in her ear, Y/n giggled at it. To say I was enraged was an understatement, I was beyond that. I could feel the heat rising to my face as that piece of shit touches my girl. I stand up from my seat and leave to the backstage, by the time I get there the speech was over. I watch from behind the curtain as Tony and Y/n go into a separate section of the stage as the business partner stays in my sight.

I come from behind the curtain silently as he stays looking down at a computer typing away. I see him get a glance of me from the corner of his eye.

" Hey, lady you're not supposed to be here-"

I cut him off by grabbing his arm and rotating it backwards and then up before slamming him on the desk. He shouts in pain and the stage outside is still loud, muffling his shouts. I hold his arm in place.

I put my other arm on his neck putting pressure.

" Tell me, why'd you touch her!"

He chokes on his own spit before spitting out

" she's just a friend please!!"

I didn't listen to his cries, instead I twisted his arm at an irregular angle, hearing his screams become more desperate as the arm twitches. He was being too damn noisy so I slammed his head on the desk another time, watching as his body slumps to the floor.

I calm myself down before heading to Y/ns dressing room. She needs to be punished for what she did. I open the door to see her sitting on her chair fiddling with her phone. She looks up at me and her face changes to surprise then to fearful, I guess she saw I wasn't happy.

I lock the door to the room and walk to her bed taking a seat.

"Y/n, could you tell me why you were rubbing against that guy on stage."

I crossed my legs waiting for her answer

" Nat- Baby I didn't mean for it to seem that way, he's a really decent guy."

"Decent? Well that decent guy is laying on the ground right now, passed out with a broken arm. Do you think decency is worth that?"

She looked horrified by what I said, I knew she didn't know what to say next

" lay your upper body on your desk now."

I instructed her calmly and she did as I said. I felt myself grow hard seeing her in this position.

" spread your legs babe"

I could hear her heavy breathing as she shivered, waiting for what I'd do. I pressed my front to her back and whispered "prepare yourself Y/n, you're gonna need it."

I hike up her dress all the way up to her breast, almost ripping it in the process. I lay her hands on each side of her head telling her to keep them there.

I harshly pull her breasts out from her bra, still leaving it on letting them push her breasts up on the desk. She shudders as the cold air hits her breasts and ass. I run my hands down her sides and down to her ass where I caress and grab it before giving it a harsh smack, earning a whimper from her. I could see a little bit of wetness through her underwear turning me on even more.

I rub myself through my dress as I look at the sight of her, across her own makeup desk waiting for me patiently. I hike up my dress to my waist and stroke my cock through my underwear. I decide to press my hardness on Y/n so she can know what to expect. I see her shift a bit making me groan as her wetness touched my clothed dick. I take her waist and start humping her from behind, laying my head on her back. I did this about 5 times before freeing my cock and stroking it a bit. I move Y/ns panties up a bit so each fold could go up her ass, I finally move the piece she's been wanting. I see the mess she's made and move her panties to the side before roughly entering her. I didn't give her a chance to relax to my size, I roughly slammed into her not caring if she yelped in pain. She tried to get a hold of my hips from behind but I put her into the same head lock I did the man and continued to roughly fuck her.

She kept moaning loudly as her breasts were squished on the desk, moving up and down from my thrusts. Her hands were restrained behind her back as I used my other arm to hold down her head into the desk.

" NAT PLEASE UGH-"

I kept thrusting rough and fast

I got close to her ear

" you need to learn a lesson Y/n. You should've e never touched him." I gritted into her ear before speeding up my thrusts. It was hard to keep slamming into her considering she was squeezing me very tightly and her own pre-cum didn't help.

I kept slamming into her roughly as my balls kept smacking her ass. The lip glosses and other things on the desk have already fallen off and the mirror was holding on as the desk shook roughly. Y/n kept moving her legs trying to wiggle away from my thrusts but that only made me go harder as she screamed for me to slow down.

I didn't have protection on so this was my chance to keep Y/n with me, indefinitely. I kept slamming into her until I felt her clench around me, whimpering that she couldn't take it any longer. I soon felt her clench hard enough to stop my hard thrusts as her body shook, I could feel her cum wrap around my cock as she tried to push me out. I still kept her in the same position till she stopped huffing and caught her breath. As soon as she did, she unclenched around me. I decided to stay inside letting her adjust to me just a bit.

She squirmed making me growl

" Nat I've learned my lesson, you can take it out now. I'll finish you off another way." She said out of breath

I went to her temple and kissed it, letting my cock fully sink into her. She moaned since she was still sensitive. I went to her ear and whispered.

" That's not gonna happen baby"

Her eyes went wide as I started to jackhammer into her as deeply as I could, chasing my high. She kept kicking my legs and moaning for me to stop.

" please Nat, I can't take another round!" Her mouth had a little bit of drool hanging from her moaning so much. I took my hand off her neck and caught her leg propping it on the desk while the other tried to find footing on the ground.

God I could feel that I was hitting a new spot as her moans got louder. I couldn't have anyone possibly ruin this so I shove three fingers in her mouth to shut her up.

" suck on my fingers baby hmm."

She sucks on them as I continue my assault on her swollen pussy until I feel myself close to cumming. I sped up and I'm sure Y/n felt me twitching. I took my fingers outta her mouth and wrapped it around her neck

" Nat! Nat! Please pull out, I'm not on the pill!"

I kiss on her ear

" let's start a family baby" as I thrust harder and lean my weight on her, keeping her hands in place.

" Nat please no-"

She continues to struggle, wiggle, and kick my thighs but I roughly continue and ignore her pleas as I thrust forward biting her neck grunting as I release my warm cum inside her. She goes abruptly forward stiffening with me as her insides are painted with my cum. She gasps at the warm sensation inside her aching pussy as I thrust slowly into her to get every last drop out.

I finally let go of her arms and slowly pull out as she whines. She breathlessly lays there as I watch our mixed cum leak out of her red swollen pussy. I lean over her, kiss her cheek, and whisper.

" hopefully you've learned your lesson dorogoy (darling)."

A/N

She's backkkkkkk aka me, how have ya'll been? Anyways, if you have any suggestions on what to write next, you can either PM me or write it in the comments! Happy reading nuggets:)

[lynnlovesspidahman]

this is me trying.

peter parker x reader

part 2. || part 1.

masterlist.

warnings : angst, mentions of violence, swearing, lots of self-doubt (peter im sorry)

word count : 2.7k

summary : There’s always two sides to a story. An apology is put into place.

Peter felt like he was living three different lives at once.

Each taking so, so much energy every single day.

His job, an assistant for Dr. Octavius at Octavius Industries. He felt guilty for arriving late every day, and still somehow having a job.

Peter was smarter than Doc, they both knew that. So that meant he would be called to office very, very often.

Usually because of some mistake Doc had made while working on the new prototypes of prosthetic limbs.

But the pressure it brought could get to be too much sometimes. One small mistake could cost millions of lives — or dollars — if not noticed early enough.

But he knew it would help the world someday, in so many ways. The exhaustion was totally worth it.

Spider-Man. Peter had loved and genuinely enjoyed playing his alter-ego.

Constantly, day and night, he was out. Out saving people everywhere. Sure, his work wasn’t appreciated by everyone but it was 100% worth it — to him.

But Spider-Man came with considerable costs. His everlasting lack of sleep. Peter can’t remember the last time he really got his 8 hours. The bags under his eyes made that apparent enough.

The physicality of the job, how many times had he stopped a car with his bare hands? He lost count years ago.

The bruises, cuts, broken limbs, brought immense pain, even to Spider-Man. Sure, he can heal faster — a nights rest, a heating pad, and your some soup is more than enough — But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

And the emotional weight it brought.

The crimes haven’t slowed, if anything they’ve gotten much more prominent all around the city.

The overwhelming amount of times he has to swing across New York to fight off large groups of thugs has become too much.

And honestly, he’s so sick of it.

And so, Peter stopped pulling his punches as much.

The guilt didn’t come until later.

He climbed through your apartment’s window after a long, long night of patrol.

You were sitting there — unaware of his presence— watching TV, all cuddled up on the corner of the couch with your mini Spidey plush.

“Hey, beautiful.” He called out to you.

“Holy shit-” You jumped and turned around to look at him. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere like that, you scared the hell out of me.”

You got up and walked towards him, “Was patrol okay?”

“Uh, yeah it was alright, kicked my ass tonight though. I’m worn out,” He stretched his arms above his head.

“Hm. Why?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uhm, I mean I fought bad guys all night?” He scoffed, a stupid question, he thought.

“Or was it because you practically killed someone tonight?” You bluntly said.

You had taken a step away from him, like he was a danger to you too.

“They were a criminal!” He shrugged.

“Why does that matter? You can’t just completely take someone’s life away. That’s not who you are. Before you say you didn’t, you came real close to.” You stood your position.

It felt like you shot him straight in the heart.

He should’ve listened to you. But instead, he took a shot right back at you, a shot to kill.

“Again, they’re criminals. I’m sorry I had to calm things down somehow. I’m sorry I needed to do something to catch a break for once in my damn life. And you’re not exactly helping that.” He looked away from you. He felt ashamed.

You were right, he knew that, even then. But his pride couldn’t let him admit it.

“What is wrong with you? You love Spider-Man. And you always talk about how killing sickens you. You’ve changed, Peter.” You spat back at him.

He should’ve just ended it there, stopped the excessive violence, stopped the fight. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in your kitchen on that faithful Tuesday.

It had been two days since that argument.

His almost perfect rep was officially ruined (Jameson had a field trip that day, too). The stress was at an all-time high.

He almost couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to anymore.

He was still so angry at you for being right. Because you always were.

You were the one who kept him balanced, who took care of him no matter the time of day or night.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the fight, either.

But he would return to it after a tough night the day after. And the next.

And you forgave him, so fast (He took you to see the Barbie movie, paid for every snack and drink you could’ve wanted. It was indisputable on your end). The guilt from what Peter’s put you through has just stacked on and on.

Now he really couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And so, there he was. Sat atop a random rooftop rethinking everything.

He debated his life. His three lives, more like. Which parts were worth it, and which weren’t. (It was really fucked up, who measures parts of their life in worth and just decides which to throw away?)

He couldn’t lose his job, how would he make money?

He couldn’t stop being Spider-Man, he knew that.

And there was you. The biggest and undoubtedly the most important part.

But you were also easy to throw away, he thought.

So much stress and time would be lifted off of his shoulders.

(Little did he know, it would be the complete opposite. His injuries didn’t heal all the way like they did when you took care of him. Every time he was hurt, it would linger for days at a time. He missed how much you’d worried for him. He really took you for granted.)

And so, he decided in the next couple of weeks, he would break it off.

And he did. On the Tuesday the following week.

He looks back on it — to this day — and realized everything he had said to you that evening, wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at himself.

Of course he enjoyed loving you. He didn’t enjoy being himself was what.

He needed to be his best for you because he couldn’t be with anything else. He failed at being the friendly and reliable Spider-man. Him and Doc didn’t get the grant they’d been needing for so long.

And when he did try to improve when you called him out that night, it just wasn’t enough.

He didn’t deserve you.

He took everything out on you, he didn’t mean a word he said. But you didn’t know that.

Peter never had an outlet to take anything out. He couldn’t leave you with every burden of his life, Doc and him weren’t that close, and May couldn’t know he was Spider-Man.

He snapped that Tuesday.

And there’s nothing more that he regrets in his entire life.

But he couldn’t burden you anymore. He wouldn’t.

He did nothing but keep you up late at night, hurt your feelings, and make you do everything for him.

Peter loved you. And he couldn’t let himself torture you like this.

So he forced himself to let you go. You would move on, anyways. He couldn’t.

He listened to every single one of the voicemails you sent.

Every. Single. One. He’s never heard you sound so down (Because of him, nonetheless).

It took so much out of him to not respond. More than what he had to give.

And after five weeks, he finally caved.

He texted you.

9:52 PM

Hey, beautiful.

You wouldn’t forgive him quick this time, he knew that. This time wasn’t just some fight. He tore your heart apart.

But he would work for your forgiveness, he swore to himself, God as his witness.

You read the message immediately. He knew you had gotten off of work, so it wasn’t completely abnormal.

But you didn’t respond. He checked his phone all night and the next morning (He was desperate for something, even if it was an angry text. He hated nothing more than you ignoring him).

So he texted you again. He just went straight for it this time, no holding back anymore.

1:16 PM

Can we meet up?? I think we can agree there’s still some loose ends we need to revisit, together.

Read 1:18 PM

He was patient this time. He tried stepping in your shoes, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine you snapping on him like he had.

He couldn’t live if you were angry at him like he was at you. And if you weren’t going to respond again he was debating on just showing up to your apartment. Can’t ignore him that way.

2:12 PM

Y/N 💞 : “Loose ends” is a funny term. You mean when you randomly showed up to my apartment and broke up with me for the stupidest reason?

He cringed. This was a dumb decision.

2:12 PM

I know, trust me. I just want to talk. And explain myself.

Explain my biggest mistake. I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you and taking the anger at myself onto you.

He debated on sending the message, but he didn’t.

You would just see it as him trying kiss your ass into forgiving him. It worked before.

2:14 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, why? Why are you only just know texting me? Why are you trying to meet up when you tore my heart into pieces? Why are you seeking forgiveness randomly?

Why are you asking such hard questions, he wanted to ask.

2:14 PM

Idk, I miss you?

I miss you and still love you. I regret that night so much.

Can you just hear me out? Please?

Nothing sounded right. But he just went for it, again. At this point, he was pacing across his rooftop, anxious for your response (If you even gave him one).

2:15 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, I swear. If you make me regret this, I’ll come for you. Worse than any enemy you’ve ever faced and ever will.

He laughed at that one. You wouldn’t —right?—

2:15 PM

I won’t, Y/N. I promise. Tomorrow, Micks at 3?

Read 2:16 PM

You left him on read, but he counted that as a success — you didn’t refuse his offer so.. —

He would come back from this. He has to.

Peter was late. Fuck him.

Why did you even give him your time of day anymore? This man could tear you apart and you still gave into his words.

3:13 PM

Peter 🕸️ : Babt, I’mso sotry. I got caugjt up with worl, I’m bloxks away I sqaer.

You could barely understand him, but you were used to his usually proper grammar slipping while he was swinging.

How dare he? How dare he beg you to come out here and he gets to show up late??

He practically busted the restaurant’s door open. He rushed to your table.

“Baby I-”

“No,” You interrupted. “You don’t get to call me that. Fuck you, asshole. You ask me to meet you and you show up late? Are you kidding me?” You crossed your arms and stood up from the booth you were sitting at.

“Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I got caught up with Doc at work. Huuge internal wiring problem. I don’t even understand how he could’ve messed it up so badly,” He talked with his hands, he was so cute when he did that.

You took a step towards him, and slapped the shit out of his stupidly attractive face.

“You don’t get to break me and show up late when you wanted me here.” The tears were back. You were livid. You shoved your finger into his face as you scolded him.

“I know, I know. I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. Lets just sit down and let me explain everything. I promise you, it’s worth it.” He put his hands on both of your shoulders to keep you from leaving and tried to calm you down.

“Hands off,” You pulled his hands away from your shoulder and slumped back into the booth.

You wanted to go home.

“Okay, okay.” He sat down and stared at you.

“Well?” You waited, “Let’s hear this explanation,” You rolled your eyes.

“Well, uh-” He paused for a moment, “I don’t know how to start.”

You waited for him to continue, arms still crossed. You really didn’t want to hear him out.

“Do you remember when I almost beat the life outta that guy? Like a month ago or something?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes again, not exactly a good moment to bring up.

“I feel like that’s where it started,”

“Mhm..” You nodded for him to keep going.

“I started slipping. I stopped pulling my punches and I was so stressed out every moment of my life. A-and one day I just got so sick of it,” He started choking up, you almost felt bad for him.

“So I sat down and tried to organize my life. I wanted to rid myself of stress and try to free up time for myself in order to y’know, rejuvenate.”

You sat there, you were expecting plain excuses. But it seemed he had something real going here.

“I couldn’t rid myself of my job — how else would I be able to live? — and obviously Spider-Man isn’t a choice. And there came you. The best and biggest part of my life.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I was stupid, I thought that by taking a break, I’d feel more free. And feel more.. well less stressed out. If I had something to myself then I would be better and feel okay? I don’t know.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, please. I was so overwhelmed with everything. I’ve been so behind on rent, and crime just never stops around here. Its like it raises more and more every week.”

“I thought-” He took a deep breath, “I thought that if I had one less chore — trust me you are not a chore to me — life would get easier.”

You’re guessing he tried to rephrase his words he said before, he’s almost repeating himself.

“But it didn’t. At all. I was in pain all the time — emotionally and physically — it didn’t help at all. I said I didn’t enjoy loving you. I lied. I didn’t enjoy loving myself- or being me.”

Your heart clenched for him. He hurt you so bad, but hearing how he truly felt made you slightly reconsider things.

“I didn’t enjoy the stress of my life, and I don’t have any outlet for my anger. And you forgave me so easily the last time we fought. And I guess I took advantage of that. I took all of the hate I had for myself onto you. I think that will forever be my biggest mistake.”

Your eyebrows scrunched.

“I love you. So much, Y/N. More than words can describe. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life and I can’t ever be away from you, again.”

“I broke it off thinking it would cause me less stress, but I understand now that it was you who took the pressure away. Being away from you, Y/N,” He laughed (At his own pain, seemingly). “I’ve never felt shittier in my life.”

Your tears flowed. Your expectations were well exceeded. He’s fucked up so much, but he makes up for it every time. And this time, it wasn’t done by kissing your ass and spoiling you, you recognized that.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am. I regret what I did to you that night so much. More than anything in the world. I just hope you can understand that.”

“I hope you can understand me.” He kept eye contact, his eyes were watery. “I know how complicated I can get,” He let out a breathy laugh.

“Pete.” You just about whispered his name.

“Yeah..?” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before answering you.

“I forgive you.” You smiled, still crying from his well thought out (you had to give him credit) apology.

“Wait- Really?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He stood up and hugged you from across the table.

“But..”

“But..?” He repeated you, curiously. He let go of the hug to look you in the eyes.

“You’re gonna have to pay for the meal if you really want me back.”

He laughed.

“I love you.”

He grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. He’s never kissed you so hard.

Stunned, but pleasantly surprised, you sat there for a moment. Unsure of whether you should kiss him or not.

But you grabbed his collar and melted into the kiss.

No matter how hard he had broken you, his words brought you back to him.

And you wouldn’t regret it, you knew that.

part 2 is finished 🥹

just wanna explain a few things just in case:

peter is a lil ooc w the excessive violence and it’s not him to be like that but i feel like every body gets to that point where everything can be just too much. even spider-man.

i also feel like he needs a healthy outlet for his feelings, being spiderman, he’s constantly busy. not exactly easy to make friends. but also being spiderman, he doesn’t wanna leave y/n with all of his problems, he’s supposed to be the hero. so he bottles it all up. to the point where he just burst one day and took it out on her. (not good!!)

also i felt like him being a man, he’s going to feel insecure if y/n’s the one taking care of him all the time. he’s the man, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. and that’s okay!! often times, old traditions still lies deep within all of us. men’s mental health matters too!! men can still feel insecure!! EVERYONE DOES. but that doesn’t mean we (as people) can take out our insecurities or anger at ourselves onto other people. most times, they don’t deserve the hate we bring onto ourselves.

that being said, not everyone can be perfect. (peter is a great example) we’re all going through something in life and are constantly being tested. but, the biggest thing is to always persevere no matter what. you’re never going to have more on your plate than you can handle. if you’re struggling, always remember to reach out to someone. a loved one, a professional, or even me. my dms are always open. i love you all. 🩷

anyways,

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!!

i hope you all enjoyed this story as much as i liked writing it 💗💗

[thelemoncoffee]

I'M BAAACCK~!

and with me being back comes me dumping info on y'all about my danganronpa pokemon au/region! (for those unaware, i 'm playing with my own fakemon region concept where all the new mons are based on danganronpa characters)

this au has a gimmick that's really cool imo, but also a pain in my ass to do cause it means i have to make way more pokemon than i would otherwise, but that's okay!

to explain the gimmick, i have the recently redesigned for a third time Kokichi Pokemon here, this time the full line instead of just one of them

how this gimmick works is every single new pokemon in the game has a split final evolution, which version of you'd be on (Hope or Despair) would determine which final evo you get. don't worry, you aren't locked out of getting the other evolution tho, because there is a special item that can be used called the Ursine Amulet that- when given to your mon during their final evolution- will let them evolve into the other option.

Kokichi here only evolves once, so thankfully i only had to make three mon, but three stage evos will have four mons in total and that's alot of work for the me.

anywho yeah, fakemon region gimmick go brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

bonus: Shiny versions and Kokichi's Dex entries below cut

-Bantwit (Fairy)   >The Faux Pokemon = These tricky pokemon have become excellent liars and actors, fooling other pokemon into thinking they are ghost types as a defense mechanism brought on by their own paranoia. [Despair] = Mischief in carnet, these pokemon will spend their time pretending to be a ghost type and stealing what appears to be entirely slightly-inconvenient-when-missing times [Hope]

-Jestricking (Fairy/Ghost)    >The Trickster Pokemon = Like a sick twist on the boy who cried wolf, their time spent pretending to be a ghost type has transformed them into a real one. Now they spend their days using their ghostly abilities to play seemingly malicious pranks on trainers and other pokemon, sometimes getting themselves hurt in the process. These pokemon struggle to trust others and would rather push them away, only showing trust to the trainer that raised them [Despair]

-Phantomime (Fairy/Psychic)   >The Thief Pokemon = As a reminit of their ghost type facades they have mastered the art of vanishing out of thin air. When vanishing they prefer to live on the edge and will instigate a chase by stealing something of mild worth before doing so, then returning the item during the chase as if it were never stolen at all. These pokemon are excellent manipulators, getting other pokemon to do things and act the way they want them to without the other pokemon knowing they’re even being tricked. [Hope] 

[mommyownsmee]

My dom (he's my boyfriend) had told me that he's a sadist and that it would be the best for us to try out several things like whipping, verbal humiliation, anal etc. I was not entirely enthusiastic about them all and told him that I would need some time to try these things out and a lot of mental preparation. I don't know if that makes me weird but I need a lot of time, established trust and mental preparation to actually engage in these things. He agreed initially but did absolutely nothing to prepare me for any of that. Instead, he pressured me over the course of several days to finally do these things. I was reluctant but he didn't give up asking. With some activities, I reluctantly agreed after he kept pressuring me to do them. With other activites, it was the case that he just did them without prior discussion. It was uncomfortable in both scenarios. For example, yesterday during sex, he pushed his dick into my ass and I was screaming in pain. Afterwards, he shrugged it off & told me that he just confused both holes. Recently, he amped up the verbal humiliation and impact play and never performed aftercare. It was hard to distinguish for me if it was just role-play or the reality. During play, among other things, he told me t have nothing to offer to him, not even sex. He . that I'm worth less than an actual "human sex toy". I was surprised that he just said that as a form of "foreplay" before the sex happened. It really hurt me. His words and actions really cut to the core and devastated me. Since then, I can't properly eat and sleep, I've started isolating from everybody else and feel totally worthless. Essentially I feel broken and like a ghost. I've told him about this but he said that l'm just too sensitive and that I shouldn't be a bitch about it. He shrugged his shoulders and said: "You knew what you were getting into. This is the way BDSM is." BTW: there has been some misunderstanding here about it. I was pressured into some sex acts like the whipping. But most of the time, I wasn't even pressured, he just straight up did what he felt like doing. The unexpected anal which occured without consent is an example of this. What do you think about it? Should I continue seeing my dom? Am I really too sensitive and bitching about it? The problem is that I feel extremely bonded to my dom and I feel like I'm worth nothing without him. I am in love with him and so far I've always looked up to him. He took care of me when I was depressed and lonely. I never felt so dependent on somebody before I met my dom. But yeah, the thought of breaking up with him scares me immensely. Like I said, I feel like I cannot live without him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

THIS ANON IS ABOUT HETEROSEXUAL SEX

AND CONTAINS THEMES LIKE RAPE AND ABUSE.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After I took several hours to calm down, I finally managed to word what I think (This will be a long answer):

My dom (he's my boyfriend) had told me that (…) it would be the best for us to try out several things like whipping, verbal humiliation, anal etc.

It "would be best"? Best for who? For him? Did he bother to ask what you would like to try? Why does he get to decide what's best for the two of you as a couple? A relationship is a two-way street, even a Dom/Sub relationship, and should consider the needs of both parties.

I (…) told him that I would need some time to try these things out and a lot of mental preparation. I don't know if that makes me weird.

This does not make you weird. This makes you human. The way that you're trivialising your own needs here tells me that he has convinced you that your boundaries are less important than his, which is not the case. Both of your needs are equally important.

(…) He pressured me over the course of several days to finally do these things. I was reluctant but he didn't give up asking.

This is a tactic commonly employed by abusers. It's called sexual coercion, which is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a physical way, and it is a crime. It has other names, like sexual assault or rape. I have been a victim of this myself, and I know that, at the time, I felt like maybe it wasn't as big a deal as I was making it out to be because I said yes. But think about it in non-sexual terms. Have you ever seen one of those true crime documentaries where an innocent person winds up in jail because the police just kept badgering them in the interrogation room until they finally confessed to a crime they didn't commit, just to make it stop? It's the exact same principle.

For example, yesterday during sex, he pushed his dick into my ass and I was screaming in pain. Afterwards, he shrugged it off and told me that he just confused both holes.

Imagine if you were the one with the penis in this scenario. Even if it was an accident (which I doubt), wouldn't you be horrified that you had accidentally hurt your partner? Wouldn't you want to stop and make sure they're okay? Any person with an ounce of empathy or compassion would. The fact that he shrugged off your pain tells me that he cares more about his own pleasure than he cares about you as a human being. This man is dangerous.

During play, among other things, he told me that I have nothing to offer to him, not even sex. He said that I'm worth less than an actual "human sex toy".

I have used language like this during sex. But do you know what the difference is? I communicated extensively with my partner beforehand, I made sure that it was something they wanted, we established and confirmed safe words (for example, before we began the scene, I told them to tell me their safe words and explain what they mean), I stopped immediately if they used any of said safe words, and we engaged in aftercare where I checked in to make sure they were okay and reassured them that I didn't really think those things about them. Without implementing these basic tenets of BDSM, what your boyfriend said to you was not verbal degradation in the context of a scene. It was verbal abuse, period. Full stop. End of sentence.

His words and actions really cut to the core and devastated me. Since then, I can't properly eat and sleep, I've started isolating from everybody else and feel totally worthless. Essentially I feel broken and like a ghost.

This is completely understandable, given that you have been abused and subject to sexual violence. I am not a psychiatrist, and I am not your psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you may be experiencing symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It's important for you to know that you are not broken. His goal is to make you feel that way so that you won't leave him. This is not because he loves you. It's because you're easier to control if you feel that you somehow deserve the abuse that he is subjecting you to. You don't deserve it. Nobody does. You deserve to be loved, to feel safe, and to participate in sexual activities that all parties involved consent to. Sex is not something that happens to a person. It's an act of intimacy that involves two or more consenting adults.

(...) He said that I'm just too sensitive and that I shouldn't be a bitch about it. He shrugged his shoulders and said: "You knew what you were getting into. This is the way BDSM is."

Listen to me: You are not too sensitive. He is saying that to try and make you feel like your comfort doesn't matter, like you're being silly for sticking up for yourself. You should be a bitch about it, if "being a bitch" means knowing your value. You are an entire person with your own thoughts, feelings, desires, agency and autonomy over your body, and you deserve to have all of those things respected. Anybody who says you are "being a bitch" for asserting your right to respect is an abuser, and not somebody that deserves the privilege of being with you. Also, I just want to reiterate, this is not the way BDSM is. The Merriam-Webster dictionary partly defines BDSM as "the granting and relinquishing of control". The operative words there are granting and relinquishing. By definition, it cannot be BDSM if you don't both consent to it.

Should I continue seeing my dom?

Absolutely not. He is not your Dom. He is your abuser. You are endangering not only your mental and physical health, but potentially your life if you remain with this person.

The problem is that I feel extremely bonded to my dom and I feel like I'm worth nothing without him. (…) He took care of me when I was depressed and lonely. I never felt so dependent on somebody before I met my dom.

I want you to know that this was an intentional choice on his part. He deliberately targeted and exploited you because he saw that you were vulnerable. He is an abuser, and you deserve so much better. I'm not sure where you are based, but there are organisations who can help people in similar situations.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR EVERYONE OF YOU.

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[drysaladandketchup]

22 Mattdrai please

Thank you anon! I hope you enjoy :)

22. things you said after it was over

Last year, it was Matthew's precious Flames that got punted out of the playoffs. To add insult to injury, it was at the hands of the Oilers. Which is why, that same night, he sent Leon a slew of drunken texts from some dingy downtown bar because he was not in the mood to even look at Leon, let alone go home with him.

Those texts included one declaring they were breaking up, which Leon didn't take to heart because not even five minutes later he got another message assuring him that no they were not actually breaking up Matthew was just going to hate him for the next 48 hours. That, Leon could handle.

Hell, he'd probably have gone for 72 hours. Minimum. And he had to rest his ankle anyways, if he wanted any chance of seeing ice-time the next game. He'd be there when Matthew was ready.

This year, it's the Oilers who go out first.

Leon just barely keeps it together through the post-game media frenzy. He doesn't want to look at the cameras, barely keeps the shudder from his voice, which is little more than a whimper because he just can’t breathe. Hunkered down with his hood up because it feels safe, the only barrier between him and a world that just crushed his dream. Again.

It's not like he can be mad at Matthew, because he fucked off to Florida, a whole other division, so Leon has no excuse for not answering any of his texts, or the six separate times Matthew tried to call after Vegas knocked Edmonton on it's ass.

Only once Leon's back home for the night, drained and exhausted and dazed, refusing to go out with Connor and the guys because he really, really doesn't want to exist right now, does he look at his phone.

Cuddling Bowie in his arms, he sits on the couch and scrolls through the avalanche of texts from Matthew. The last one catches him off guard, and he stares at it, reading it over and over.

come down and see me. please.

And... yeah. Through the doom and gloom of another lost season, he misses Matthew. Matthew, who's season isn't done. Matthew, who doesn't need Leon, but wants him. Wants him to be there.

So Leon books a flight to Florida, and starts packing.

The next day he goes in early for clear-out, says his goodbyes, and drives right to the airport. After an almost nine hour flight--including a layover in Denver that's great for his legs but not his morale--he lands in Fort Lauderdale just as the sun hits the horizon.

Matthew's waiting for him at Arrivals, dressed in board shorts and sandals and button-down shirt, sunglasses and that damn bucket hat. He smiles when he sees Leon, waves, and the simplicity of it chips away at the heavy stone sitting on Leon's chest. He always breathes better when he's with Matthew.

"What, not even a sign?" Leon calls out once he's in earshot. "I thought you were excited to see me?"

Matthew slaps the brim of Leon's hat down over his eyes. "Next time I'll bring confetti canons and air horns."

And fuck, just hearing Matthew's voice again without a phone between them lifts a weight off Leon's shoulders. It almost makes the defeat worth it.

His hands are too empty suddenly. He wants to hold Matthew's, wrap him up in his arms, touch him anywhere and everywhere, inside and out. Replenish old memories, make new ones. Never let go again.

Matthew gets the jump on him once they're in his car, dragging Leon over the center console by his shirt and into a sloppy kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, scratchy beard and plush lips, and as always, it's perfect. This too, aches like a phantom pain when they're on opposite ends of the continent. Phone sex and a bit of imagination with his own hand can't totally replace the sex, but it definitely can't replace the sweetness of a kiss.

When he pulls back, Matthew looks like he's going to immediately drop the one thing Leon really doesn't want to hear--the dreaded I'm sorry about what happened--so he jumps first.

"I missed you."

If Matthew knows he's purposely being cut off, he doesn't show it. He bumps their foreheads together and closes his eyes, like he's just soaking Leon in.

"Missed you too."

As the dusk fades to night, they drive, and drive, and drive. Not to Matthew's house, that's immediately obvious, but Leon doesn't ask where they're going. He slumps in the passenger's seat, leg tucked up against the dashboard, and goes between watching palm trees and glistening waterfront, to watching Matthew.

He tries not to think about hockey, but it was a long and restless flight, and Matthew's got a stupid little air freshener shaped like skates, and the playoffs aren't actually over, so of course the first thing Leon says to break the silence is, "When's your next game?"

Matthew taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music playing on the radio. "Thursday. Against Carolina. We're flying out the day after tomorrow."

"Hmm. So what are we doing with all that time?"

"Fucking, hopefully." Matthew glances sidelong at him, tongue poking between his teeth. "At least for part of it. I still have practice, and you need to relax."

"What am I doing while you're gone?"

"Waiting for me to come back? You can stay at my place. Come to the games when we're at home. My family's going to drop in too, so, you know, be prepared for that."

Won't be Leon's first tangle with the Tkachuks. Pretty sure he's an honorary member of the family at this point, even if he still struggles to keep up with the energy they bring to a room. Not that he minds.

The rest of the drive is quiet enough that Leon dozes off. When he wakes up, groggy with jet lag, it's dark aside from the street lights, and Matthew is pulling into a parking lot up from a small, deserted beach. Leon doesn't know which one; there's so many here. He follows Matthew out of the car and down the promenade, down the stone steps to the sand, where grains slip between his toes and the sound of the waves soothes the storm in his own head.

Which is exactly why Matthew brought him here; somewhere secluded, somewhere that can't hurt him. Because Leon loves the ocean, and Matthew loves him.

He follows Matthew along the beach, going nowhere in particular. Matthew walks purposefully nonetheless, head high and shoulders back, warm breeze tugging at his clothes and ruffling his curls. Something Leon loves to do too, and can't wait to do again.

This place looks good on Matthew. If only it weren't so far away.

"I'm glad you came," Matthew says over his shoulder, slowing until Leon catches up. "I wasn't sure you would."

Why not? The year-round heat and the beaches and the seemingly endless bars are a nice change of pace. But more importantly, this is where Matthew is. Of course he was going to come.

"Beats sitting around re-watching the second round wondering what we could have done differently," Leon says instead, because it's true, and because he doesn't need to tell Matthew what he already knows.

"Hey, that's not a bad thing. But it's not what you need right now." Matthew swallows, takes an uneven breath like he's the one getting choked up. "I saw your interview yesterday. After the game. Leon, you know I didn't call you down here for me, right? Don't get me wrong, I'd fucking love for you to be here watching us play, but the way you sounded... I was worried you'd end up sitting around your house all alone and depressed."

"I'm not depressed. And I wasn't going to. I was planning on going back home."

"Great, so you can mope around in Germany instead."

"I wouldn't have been alone."

"Much as I love Bowie, he doesn't count, babe."

Leon stops walking, staring at the sand until Matthew stops too, turning back and right into Leon's space to block the wind, which has taken on a chill.

"Leon--"

"Our season's over, Matthew," he mutters. "I really thought we could... I didn't want it to end here."

Matthew sighs, but his eyes are sympathetic. "Yeah. I know. But you're not done. There's always next year. And a bunch more after that."

The same platitudes, every time. It's empty words. Leon knows it. Matthew knows it. But what else is there to say? You fall, you get back up, you try again. Rinse and repeat. That's what this league is.

In any other circumstance, Matthew would probably make some crack about the Oilers and how assuming you guys can actually get your shit together, you may have a chance, but it's, you know, fucking Edmonton, so...

But he's being kind for Leon's sake. Because Matthew's forked tongue turns to silk when he's off the ice. He's so gentle at times like this, handling Leon with kid gloves like he thinks he'll shatter if he so much as breathes too hard.

"I'm just getting tired of it always being 'next year'," Leon admits easily, because it is easy with Matthew. "Every time we come close, we get knocked down. It feels like shit. I'm fucking tired of it."

Every time he climbs the ladder, he tastes victory. The higher the wrung, the sweeter it is. And every time he falls, there's a tiny part of him that worries he'll never get his feet off the ground again.

"Hey." Matthew cups his cheek, forcing Leon to look him in the eye, into pale blues that dance and shine even in the dark. "You're not giving up on me, are you?"

The question catches him so off guard Leon jerks like he's been struck.

"What? No. Fuck no. The hell kind of question is that?"

Quitting has never even crossed his mind. He didn't come into this league thinking it would be easy. He's worked his ass off to get where he is, and sure he's got his own liabilities to work through, but he'll keep going until something gives out.

"Good. Just making sure." Matthew looks so damn smug, but Leon's learned to find that endearing too. "Only place left to go is up, right?"

Right. Leon said something like that to Matthew, once. You win or you lose. Only two options. If you lose, then all you can do next time is win. If you win, you keep winning until you make it to the top. Anger into action, failure into fortune.

Matthew's hand slips down Leon's forearm, searching for his hand, but stops when Leon flinches, and brushes a callused thumb back and forth over the bruise there.

"This from Pietrangelo?"

Leon huffs. "Maniac, yeah. It's fine. It wasn't as bad as it looked."

"Want me to rough him up a little if I see him down the line? My treat. Actually, it'd be my pleasure."

There's that blinding confidence. The Matthew that's going to ensure they blow right past Carolina, through Dallas or Vegas, and raise the Cup. Who's dumb enough to argue with him?

"If you want." Leon's almost too tired to smile, but he tries anyways.

And Matthew softens too, cheeks pinked and teeth showing between his parted lips. It's hard to think back to a time when he would never look at Leon like this; like he's so fucking in love with him it's physically impossible to hide it. Leon can only imagine how he looks to Matthew.

"I'll make you another deal while we're at it," Matthew says.

"A deal or a promise?" Leon knows what's coming, because he knows Matthew. His heart still jumps up into his throat.

"I'll win the Cup for you."

They've learned to say I love you in a million different ways. Somehow, they keep finding new ones.

It's so stupid. Matthew's not arrogant. But then again, he seems to be playing a game no one else is, in a way no one else can. He oozes confidence and bleeds charisma, possesses the kind of karma that can change destinies.

If anyone could actually say it, and do it, it's Matthew. Damn if Leon doesn't believe it, too.

So all he has to do is smile, nod, and say, "Okay."

"Just to be clear," Matthew says, "I'm not doing it for the Oilers. I'm doing it for you. And for me and the Cats, obviously. Maybe... maybe a little more for me and the Cats. No offence, babe."

Leon snorts. "It's fine. It's yours. You earned it."

"So have you." Damn right he has. "Shit just sucks sometimes."

Leon scoffs and rolls his eyes to whatever unseeing deity keeps fucking him over. But he's done wallowing. He's got something so much better standing right in front of him.

"You said this was a deal." Leon tugs him closer, one hand cupping the back of Matthew's head, pressing the words against his mouth. "So what do you want from me?"

Matthew smiles under his lips. "I just want you to be there to see it."

[snek-panini]

Book time! This is On the Subject of Nests and Happiness by Nonesensed. I don't typically go for nesting fics, they tend to get a little silly for my taste, but this one is an old favorite. They put some very nice worldbuilding into it and I really liked their OCs, which is kinda unusual in fandom, at least for me. So I wanted to give it the book treatment, and it turned out really well! The cover is cardstock, with book cloth on the spine, neither of which were actually bought for this project but they looked so good together that I couldn't resist. The title is HTV and it was an absolute nightmare to get all those tiny letters to stick properly. Worth it, though. More pics under the cut!

Endpapers are scrapbook paper, also not bought for this book, but just. Look at them. They look so good. I had actually intended to make my own end bands on this project, but they fought me so hard that I gave up. And I already had these black-and-white checkered ones that matched, so it's not so bad. You can kinda notice my tendency to make covers too deep in this shot. I used to think that was a flaw but as I go on I'm kinda liking it. I get more wiggle room when casing in, and they feel nice when I read the books. View from the top shows how thick this one is. It's the longest word count I've done at this size and I want to do more like this. The textures and proportions make it very pleasant to hold.

Have some interior shots:

Title page, first page of first chapter with summary, and first page of actual chapter text. All the images came from rawpixel with minimal manipulation on my part to make the one in the third photo. I don't like working with images, I've never been that kind of artist, but I do very much like how things turned out. It's got three chapters and they all have a first page with the wreath image and short summary, then the actual text of the chapter starts on the following page.

This fic has so many footnotes. More than any other fic I've set type for so far, and some of them are very long. I discovered in the process of formatting them that footnotes are a pain in the ass to typeset. Again, though: totally worth it, they look so good even if they do make the line spacing a little weird. I think a lot of my frustration with them comes from trying to make Word do things it was not intended to do. It won't stop me doing more footnote-heavy fics in the future, but at least now I have a better idea of what I'm getting into when I do them.

Fun thing about this: I waxed and burnished the cardstock before I attached the cover, and the last thing I did after casing in was the title. I have a cricut mini press, which is shaped like a tiny iron, and when I was pressing the HTV it left an iron-shaped dark patch on the front cover. Cue panic. It looked so stupid, and it was already cased in so I was stuck with it. I think what happened had to do with the wax coating? Thankfully, pressing it again all over (instead of just where the title is) covered up the dark patch, but the result is that the front is a slightly different color than the back. Whoops. I may go back later and press the back too, to get the color even, but for the moment I actually kinda like it? Shows me what I'm learning. Another fun fact, thankfully less visible than the last one: while I was making the cover, I gave myself the worst papercut ever while working with the cardstock. There was actual blood, and right on the tip of a finger on my dominant hand. I had a mark there for weeks.

I'm very proud of this one. That's probably why the post got so long and ramble-y, but I just keep coming back to it. Colors, textures, size, nice sharp groove where the spine connects to the front. I'm just really proud of it.

[69bitterbeingz]

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB || CH. 1

next ->

DISCLAIMER: This is a reupload from my prev account! best to follow the fic through ao3 [linked below] to avoid any future issues PAIRINGS - johnny knoxville, bam margera, steve-o, chris pontius, ryan dunn x reader WARNINGS - swearing, drinking, smoking, brief injury mention

ao3 version

“So what are you doing at the moment?”

“What am I doing…” You repeated, twirling your cigarette between your fingers, clicking your tongue. “Things, y’know. Stuff.”

“Stuff?”

You chuckled. "  Yeah, stuff. Guy’s gotta have secrets.”

“Any new music?”

“Well….” You dragged your tongue over your top teeth, then smoked your cig. “…You didn’t hear it from me but we may or may not be working on a new album.”

“Exciting! Fans have been getting pretty restless - after all, it’s been a year since the last album.”

“C’mon, one year really isn’t that long to wait for an album. Want it to be shit?” You took another drag.

“Any details? Release date?”

“Nah, can’t say. Maybe we have some exciting collabs lined up but my lips are sealed.”

“Alright, alright, point taken. Moving on to new appearance, you’ve recently been featured on the new season of MTV's hottest new show—“

You cackled, immediately catching on.

“So what’s the story with you and the ‘Jackass’ daredevils?”

You shook your head, grinning from ear to ear, “Where do I start?”

“How about the beginning?”

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Curtains drawn, lights dead, total darkness in the room; sun tried to bleed through thick fabric, but it was blocked, only able to illuminate the window sill. The room was silent aside from the whir of a desk fan set up on a chair by the double bed, jaggedly inching from side to side, over and over. The floor was littered with clothes, shoes, wires, it goes on. Clearly the inhabitant was a fan of clutter. Everything remained still, until a loud beeping cut through the stagnation. The duvet stirred, and an arm snaked out from under it to clumsily smack the buttons of the wired phone on the bedside table. 

Click

“[Y/n] ? Didn’t think you’d be awake.”

“Then why’d’ya call…?”

“ I was going to leave a message. ”

“Mmm…” The duvet stirred again, a head now peaking out from the nest; your eyes were barely open a crack, even the low light of the room hurt. “...For the record, I wasn’t awake. How’s it going, Valo?”

“ Tired, but exciting all things considered. That’s why I called, actually.”

“Oh yeah…?”

“ Mhm, doing a concert in LA tonight, you should come to the show. Been a while since I’ve seen you. ”

“What’s the venue?”

“ A place called ‘The Wiltern’? Have you heard of it?”

“Yeah yeah, done a few shows there myself. I’m game.”

“ Great! I don’t suppose Mila and Dan want to come…?”

“Nah, rest of the band is out of town.”

“ Ok, I’ll see you tonight then.”

Click

Fuck. You should’ve asked when it was. Reluctantly, you pushed off the duvet and pulled up the swivel chair to your desk, powering on the computer. Not difficult to figure it out. You scratched your arm as you waited for the dial-up to stop screeching, glancing at the time on the toolbar and cringing slightly. 3:49pm'. Eh, at least you’re consistent. Looks like the concert started at 7, so you had time, too. That’s good, the last few times you made last minute plans you had about 20 minutes to prepare, but b y the time 7:30 rolled around, you were as ready as you could be, sleep still dusting the corners of your eyes. You were dressed as you normally would, a little on the goth-y side with tripp pants and all, but that's expected from a metal musician. Tripp pants are the shit , don’t need a handbag when you have like 8 fucking pockets. You made the rounds of the house, making sure everything was locked while you rang for a cab; once you hung up, you noticed the text you’d been sent from Valo.

‘See you soon’

It was kinda a pain in the ass having to go outside, but it would be worth it.

There was already a large crowd forming as you pulled up to the venue, making you instinctively sink down into the car seat. At least the cab driver knew to roll around to the back so you wouldn’t have to deal with the large crowd, or god forbid people recognising you. You slunk out of the car as quick as you could, only needing to show the security guarding the back door your face for them to let you through. Another security guard waiting inside led you to the green room, making small talk since you recognised him from one of the previous shows you did here. 

“Warm up’s on stage right now, you got about half an hour ‘til the band goes on.” He let you know as you arrived, and you just nodded. Granted you're a little late, but you’d make up for lost time at the bar after. Mr security guard swung open the door, and once Valo saw you he got up to greet you.

“[Y/n], so good to see you!” The two of you hugged, ending with a pat on his back.

“Wouldn’t miss it, Ville. Nice to get out the house.” You said hi to the other band members, until you came to somebody you didn’t recognise. Or- well, not consciously at least, as something about him was oddly familiar. He stared back as you raised an eyebrow, shoving your hands in your pockets.

“Heya stranger.”

“Ah, [Y/n]–” Ville took a seat next to the outsider, gesturing to him. “This is Bam, he's with the warm up band.”

“How come you’re not on stage?” You flanked Bam on his other side, and he shook his head.

“It's my brother's band.”

You hummed, scrutinising him. “You sure that’s all you’re known for? Swear I’ve seen you somewhere…”

He smirked, leaning his arms on his thighs. “You ever watch MTV?”

Then it clicked - that’s where you’ve seen him.

“Ohh, you're on that new show where all the idiots hurt themselves, right? I've seen that, pretty decent for torture porn.” You snickered, satisfied you put it together with his help. He made a face, like he wasn’t sure if he should be smug you recognised him or insulted you called him an idiot. 

“Idiot?” He repeated, looking unimpressed; offended it was. You shrugged awkwardly.

“I say as an idiot myself.”

Surprisingly, the two of you continued to talk after that small blunder. It wasn’t long before Ville and his band had to leave, but you were strangely unbothered by carrying on a conversation with a guy you had just met. The warm up band filtered in then left for some pub, empty bottles started to add and add to the coffee table, and soon you were talking like you’d known each other all your lives, braying like donkeys - it's incredible what alcohol can do as a social lubricant. He was a bit of a self absorbed asshole, but hey, who wasn’t? He was fun to talk to and right now that’s all you really cared about. By the time Ville came back, the two of you were very obviously 6 beers deep each. Ville chuckled.

“Good to see the two of you getting along...?”

That was one way of putting it. Bam had his arms tangled around you, drunkenly dragging you into his lap as you cackled and knocked back another beer, ungracefully thrown over his thighs. 

“Where were you hiding this one, huh?” Bam slurred, tightening his hold on your waist for emphasis and making you squeak. The vocalist smiled, waltzing over to the couch and grabbing a beer for himself.

“I didn’t think you were her type.”

“Huh?”

But you cut Bam off with a choked back snort, slinging your arm around his neck to hoist yourself up.

“ Come off it Valo, you don't know shit.” You finished your beer in one last gulp and threw it on the floor, breaking free from Bam to stretch your limbs. “You guys’re done here, yeah? How’s about a pub, eh?”

“Speakin’ my language.” Bam’s grin met his eyes. Ville had a look on his face like this would be a disaster of a night, but lord knew he was all in. 

It seemed Ville’s intuition was correct. The night consisted of crashing into clubs then getting subsequently kicked out, charging through the streets to find the next poor place to take you all in. Maybe it was how obviously trashed you all were or your tendency to get pissy at the bouncers when they gave you an ‘attitude’ - who knows, who cares? You were all too busy painting LA red. The entire time, you were hanging off of Bam’s shoulder like a lovesick teenager, which might have been embarrassing if he wasn't returning that energy, hugging you close to his side like his life depended on it. The debauchery ended outside some seedy metal bar you’d never come back to as the sun peeked over the horizon, more sober and definitely more bloodied than when you started. There was just you and Bam left, sat next to each other sharing your cigarettes. The dry blood on your hands and face contrasted nicely with the all black [torn] clothes. 

“Cab’s comin’.” You said, shutting your flip phone and fiddling with the charms hanging off of it. “You sure you don’t want me to order you one?”

“I know someone lives near here… just crash at their place.”

You nodded, lighting another cigarette and offering him the last from the pack. Bam gladly took it, lighting his end by yours. He kept glancing over at you, eyeliner smudged over his cheekbones blending into the black eye that was starting to form; he seemed like he wanted something.

“Hey.”

You glanced up at him, cigarette hanging from your lips. Bam motioned for your phone, and without question you handed it over.

“Lemme give you my number.”

“Sure.” You shrugged, a slight smile on your lips. “Gotta say, you made this night worth getting out of bed.” That seemed to please his ego, a smug grin on his face as he finished punching in his number.

“Glad to hear that, sweetheart. I had a good time with you.”

“Yea, hopefully it doesn’t end here, y’know?”

He took a drag of his cigarette. “I’m filming here for another couple months before I go back to Philly… come see me on set.”

“Really? They won’t mind some random chick joining in?”

“Fuck them, I want you to come. You’ll make things more fun.”

You scoffed, stamping out your cig and playfully shoving his shoulder. To any bystander, it may have even looked bashful. “Watch it.” But you were smiling playfully. “Alright, text me the office address, or… wherever the fuck you end up. Got nothing better to do right now, so I’ll be there.” You were so occupied by Bam’s wide smile that you didn’t notice the taxi pull up to the two of you until the driver yelled your name. With a sigh, you slapped your hand onto his shoulder in a farewell gesture and rose to your feet, trying to ignore whatever the fuck you had done to your leg. You were too tired to look back as you opened the taxi door.

“I’ll see you round, Margera.”

[queenofcats17]

The Ink Demonth 6

Today is Machine.

===============================================

Tom liked machines. He always had. There was something about them that just felt... right to him. They made sense. As long as you knew how they worked, you could take them apart and put them back together as many times as you liked. He understood machines. Machines were easy.

People, though... People were hard.

Tom had never been good with people. It wasn't that he didn't understand people, he understood them just fine, but that he didn't want to play the games that society seemed so fond of. The battles of words, of smiling and being polite while trying to subtly cut down your conversation partner, they just made him tired. He would much rather just say what he meant and be over with it. What was the point of all these mind games? It just made no sense to him.

It was just his luck that Joey Drew happened to be one of the people who thrived in those mind games. Dealing with Joey's underhanded comments and tendency to conceal what he truly meant gave Tom a headache. Being at Joey Drew Studios wasn't a total nightmare, though, as he made an unlikely friend in the form of one Lacie Benton.

He'd met her when he'd been nosing around the area dedicated to Bertrum's theme park work. Bertrum Piedmont had a bit of a Reputation, and Tom had wanted to see if the park maker was going to be as much of a nightmare as Joey. To his pleasant surprise, he found that Bertrum's grandstanding was actually backed up by competence and care.

As well as a damn good mechanic.

Lacie had been working on the willow whipper ride when Tom had come searching. The central column was opened up and Lacie was digging around in it, pulling cables around and muttering to herself. Tom couldn't help but let out a whistle of admiration as he walked up. Wiring could be incredibly tricky. He tried not to touch it if he could help it.

Lacie turned around at the whistle, eyes narrowing slightly. "You need something?" She asked.

"No." Tom shook his head, stopping just short of her. "I just wanted to see what Piedmont's attractions were like in person. Seems like he's not all talk."

Lacie let out a snort. "Not all talk like Drew, you mean."

"That's exactly what I mean."

A small smile appeared on Lacie's face. "You're not a fan of him either."

"I'm not," Tom confirmed.

"What's your reason?" Lacie leaned back against the central column, folding her arms.

"Why do you want to know?" Tom instinctively tensed.

Lacie shrugged. "I'm curious. Seems like there's a long list of reasons not to like Drew. Like the fact that he's a pompous prick who likes the sound of his own voice. But I want to know what yours is."

Although he didn't fully relax, Tom allowed some of the tension to leave him. "He keeps asking me for the impossible and getting mad when I can't deliver," he answered slowly.

"Mm." Lacie nodded. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Has he been asking Piedmont for something similar?"

"Something like that." Lacie gestured vaguely around them. "He keeps demanding more, but refuses to pay what it'll cost to make more."

Now it was Tom's turn to snort. "He wants to cut corners, doesn't he?"

"He sure does." Lacie's lip curled up in disdain. "Wants quality but won't pay what it's worth. Real pain in the ass."

Sensing Lacie's mood would probably only get worse the more they talked about Joey, Tom took a step forward to gesture at the ride. "Enough about Drew. Tell me about what you're working on."

Lacie seemed to brighten a bit at the question, although it was kind of hard to tell with her, and she began to explain the ride and how it functioned.

Tom would come back to the Bendyland warehouse as often as he could to see what Lacie was working on. Sometimes Bertrum would be there as well, which was a tiny bit awkward, but at least Bertrum treated Tom with respect. He was excited to hear Tom's thoughts and valued his input.

Bertrum and Lacie understood machines. They loved machines, just like Tom did. People like that weren't so hard for Tom. If only he could meet more of them.

[butmakeitgayblog]

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I do kind of understand what Harry Styles was saying about gay sex scenes because sex scenes with men are always so ROUGH 😭 With het and MLM scenes I typically have trouble believing that they actually have any feelings for each other beyond Horny because the whole time I’m just like damn dude are you even trying to make it good for them cause it’s not all about you!!!

And then like you said we get a hard cut to two girls doing nothing more than laying in bed holding the covers over their titties and I feel infinitely more chemistry and love between them than basically any sex scene with a man 😂 Have men in the industry not got the memo that sex doesn’t always have to be getting railed until you can’t walk but rather there are many ways to have sex and it can in fact often be a loving and dare I say cute experience??? If there’s gonna be a sex scene I want it to show something about the characters and their relationship, how they treat and care for each other (or not 😬) not… whatever tf the scene in TLFOAH was. Wasn’t sexy, didn’t contribute anything, super out of place… ugh

Well, respectfully idk about all that. I mean I think there have been sex scenes involving men that are perfectly lovely and loving in their depiction, it's just unfortunate that those don't tend to be the stories Hollywood dork ass loser execs want to portray 😒 they all want rough sex and violence and exploitation

And really I don't even necessarily blame the actors. I mean yes it's their performance, but I assume they're mostly being directed on how to shoot these scenes. I believe most, if not all, sex scenes these days have choreographers that break every movement and touch down beat by beat to try and do away with any variables that could mess up a shot or give opportunities to less savory actors trying to pull shit in scenes that make stuff weird.

And that's where my bitching and complaining comes in! Lol because now they have no excuse. There's no excuse for the bullshit that gets peddled and is so obviously made salacious on purpose rather than loving.

Like this scene for example.

It could have actually been worth a damn. A sex scene could have worked here, if they had not been thinking "hmmm ho how can we make this as sexy as possible so whoever's boyfriend that's being made to watch this with will get their dick hard", and actually used it as a vehicle for the plot and for character development. I would've been completely for it. If they had slowed down and taken a few beats to show him being sweet with her, show him lovingly kissing her, maybe a few smiles or intense looks while they slowly undressed each other, moments where he stops just to look into her eyes and build that connection. Have the rhythm of the sex be slow and sweet, as though he's giving her tenderness and caring that she hadn't had before - that she's so obviously been searching for in all her pain and trauma and abandonment. That would've been amazing! BECAUSE THEN! You jump forward to the beach scene only a few moments later, and you see that veneer crack. You see the beginnings of his ugliness and his abuse start to emerge.

How much more impactful would that have been?

That stark contrast. That immediate shift that would've felt like the rug was yanked right out from under the viewer and Alice both.

To move between these scenes of seeing her falling into him, thinking '*sigh* Finally. Finally, here's someone who cares about me. Here's someone who will be soft with me. Here's someone who will protect me, help me heal, give me the love that's been stolen from me over and over again in my life. Here's my safety.'

And then... you see him change.

That would've totally been so effective and speak to the characters and the blossoming of their relationship, and how someone can be so blinded by emotions that they don't see the danger signs right in front of them. It would've built such a more solid foundation for why Alice would make excuses and exceptions for him and his behavior, because we'd know that she'd already have this love story written in her head fROM THE SEX SCENE

But no.

Nope.

Uh uh.

Gratuitous boinking always wins and I just

[lewis-winters]

Why is it like I want to protect Dick from Sobel's attempt on court martial against him? I feel like I want to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him.

Tbh, in the beginning I was feeling the same as you anon. I've been subjected to a power tripping bully boss before, I knew Dick's pain. But when the scene cuts to Sobel's office and the "call for court martial" is revealed to be "taking a punishment (48 hrs pass revoked for 60 days) OR request trial by court martial" and Dick chose the latter, I lost almost all my sympathy. More under cut bc it got long--

Dick Winters totally deserved that-- he REQUESTED it. Not to say Sobel didn't deserve getting his ass handed to him by his own NCOs (he overestimated their fear of him and completely underestimated their love of Dick) for being such a power tripping asshole, but all of that drama could have been avoided if Dick had just decided to keep his mouth shut and taken the punishment. Which, according to Sobel, wasn't anything off Dick's plate; he already spent those weekends he'd've been deprived of on base, anyway! At this point, the only thing at risk was Dick's own pride in his work ethic, and instead of just picking his battles and taking the punishment, he chose to prove a point-- which he DID NOT, at the time, have the capacity to prove, by the way!

Dick risked a lot getting himself court martialed! And though Malarkey speculated that Dick had arranged the NCO mutiny irl (as mentioned in Malarkey's book) we don't know that for sure, and in the show, it certainly wasn't framed that way! Think about the facts: 1) Dick cares about his men, but he's not delusional enough to think: 'oh, they'll risk their own court martialing to save my ass.' He's not entitled enough to expect that of them, either. Meaning Dick requested court martial without knowing if he'd win. 2) What REALLY is the harm of just spending those punishment days on base that Dick would have otherwise spent on base anyway, punishment or not? Literally, that whole scene was just Dick saying "well I was gonna do it, but I think you're being unfair, I don't want to do it now! even if awaiting trial by court martial means I most likely won't jump in Normandy and help protect the men I care about!"

TL;DR - Dick Winters went and chose court martial, without a back-up plan, simply because his pride was wounded.

It was, in hindsight, very stupid. Very brave, and definitely shows us the kind of man he is-- driven by principles and the very strong instinct of fairness and right from wrong-- but it was also very stupid. And risky. You are at WAR Dick, and sooner or later you will be leading your men into a blood bath! Now is not the time for silly ego games!

Think of it this way: he knew how incompetent Sobel was, he knew what would happen if Sobel were to eventually lead Easy, he knew removing himself via court martial meant leaving his men to the mercy of Sobel's mistakes, he KNEW that his trial by court martial would not be completed in time to jump into Normandy with Easy. Dick knew all that, he'd have to have known that, but he still sacrificed it all because he wanted to make a point.

When I think of Dick getting court martialled, my first instinct is to put my head in my hands and remind myself that not even the great Dick Winters is exempt from letting his ego get the best of him. I think a lot of people just miss that because it turned out ok in the end (i.e. Dick was reinstated out of mess + Sobel was sent away + Meehan was given Easy). But for a tense moment there, it very nearly didn't. What would have happened then?

Would fighting for his pride have been worth the lives of his men?

[anime-simp-0]

Hi there! I am so sooooo happy to see other people with a Bakugo obsession - his character development is one of the better ones in my opinion.

If you are open to sharing some headcanons (but of course no pressure! Writing should be enjoyable!) - how do you think Bakugo would be with an antihero s/o with a personality like Deadpool? I imagine them having a really smart mouth that drives Bakugo up the wall lol but also being kickass enough to stand toe to toe with him. What do you think?

I'm so sorry this took me so long my courses kicked my ass and i had to put literally everything else on the backburner. But! I got it done lol

i can totally see this. to me, bakugo definitely seems like the type of guy to go after someone who can not only hold their own against him in a fight, but also in a conversation. i think it's very important to him to have an s/o who can put up with his bullshit and call him out at the same time. i also think that he secretly finds it really sexy that you can put him in his place so easily with your smart mouth. well, as long as your not using it to make him lose his mind ( even if that is your favorite pastime). regardless of his stereotype of just being a stubborn hothead, he is actually quite levelheaded. He knows he overreacts sometimes. he knows that he doesn't always think things through. so, he needs someone who can call him out. and that's why you're so perfect for him. you're just as stubborn as him, which none of his friends could believe so it was quite a shock when he proved it, and it keeps him on his toes. it keeps your relationship interesting.

i think that bakugo himself fits the definition of a hero rather well, but that doesn't mean that all of his actions do. yes, he himself aligns with heroic standards, but that's more for the sake of keeping his license then morals. i think the more experience he gets as a pro really changes him and his perspective on good and evil. this also gives him the ability to recognize that heroic ways don't always solve the problem.

for the record, when i think antihero, i think of an oliver queen/green arrow situation here. don't judge me 😓

having said that, i think that bakugo doesn't necessarily like your antihero decisions either. he understands them, yes. and he can see the good you do and your good intentions. and he'd be damned if he ever told anyone who you were in the shadows. hell, he'd rather take a bullet to the brain then risk you getting arrested for being a vigilante. and that's the problem. you would be. your methods are unorthodox. you get the job done, but at what cost? how much blood has to spill before you are the one that doesn't get back up? at least as a hero he has protection. backup. you go in blind and pray for the best. and it kills him to see your busted lip and bruised knuckles. yet you hide it well. everyone he works with just sees you as his kickass, badass partner. the only one he listens to and smiles for.

but he knows the truth.

he knows why you do what you do.

because again and again heroes let you and the people you cared about down. you got sick of waiting around to be saved. so you saved yourself. you got your hands dirty. but the farther you went in, the harder the dirt was to wash off your hands and now you can't. you can't stop. you can't turn away. not from all of those suffering people that the heroes won't help.

so, for now, he'll be quite. he'll clean your cuts while you sit on the bathroom counter with him between your thighs. he'll get you ice for bruises and learn how to do stitches. he'll even help you come up with a cover story. because as much as it pains him to see you in pain, he knows your happy. that it's worth it to you. and as long as he gets to hold you when everything is said and done and hear you whisper you love him as you fall asleep, as long as he can feel the way your chest expands as you breath against him and hear the soft sighs against his neck, he'll learn to love these moments enough to forget about how you got in this state in the first place. he'll learn to see that you don't just do it for them, but for him too.

[princeescaluswords]

Is calling Allison Argent “anything with a pulse” not being used in a misogynist context? / You tell me, Pew. Is calling and reducing Allison Argent to "Scott's dead white girlfriend" not misogynist? You are the one who used those words after all

I would usually put something like this in the trash bin, but you brought up something that I want to talk about: context.

I did say the words "Scott's dead white girlfriend" because I was expressing my displeasure with the show's writing in Apotheosis (5x20). In it, for those who might not know, Scott is fighting with The Beast, Sebastien Valet, who by sheer coincidence (something else that displeased me) shoves his claws into the back of Scott's neck, thereby seeing images of Scott's memories of Allison.

I would argue that describing Allison in Apotheosis as "Scott's dead white girlfriend" is not misogynist because, at the time, she was actually dead, she has always been white, and the memories in which she was appearing were flashbacks to romantic and emotional scenes between them. So yes, I did describe Scott's dead white girlfriend as "Scott's dead white girlfriend."

But why did I do it? Why was I disappointed by Allison's appearance in Apotheosis? Well, that's something I feel is worth talking about.

Contrary to some people's opinions, I've never been shy about talking about how the writers of Teen Wolf fed into fandom and Hollywood racism by establishing repeatedly that Scott, to be a hero, can never act in behalf of his own emotions, but must overcome adversity and pain only to be in service to others. Don't get me wrong, it's a noble characteristic, and one that makes me like Scott, but it became racist when the production veered, as it so often did, into making it mandatory, in a way they never did for any other especially white character. It seemed to me that in Season 5, the writers had characters forget that Scott didn't seek to become a werewolf, he didn't seek to become an alpha, and so had his own mother give him a speech in Status Asthmaticus (5x10) in which she told him, essentially, that he had to let people abuse him in order to be a good leader. In a similar vein, The writers had Mason say that Scott had to forgive Liam in Damnatio Memoriae (5x12). Fighting to preserve the lives that would be lost to La Bête du Gévaudan isn't enough, Scott has to let people like Stiles and Malia and Liam hurt him and the Beast himself violate him to justify his own survival.

DEAD. In keeping with that injustice, the violation of Scott's memories in Apotheosis is portrayed as a triumph. It's just another thing that Scott has to sacrifice to save people, and the writers were very eager to portray this as necessary. "Allison saved him," Stiles tells Lydia, but the truth is -- Allison is dead (at that point). She didn't save shit. Scott isn't dead, but the writers hardly care. How does Scott feel about another serial killer rooting around in his head? We'll never know. The writers put the consequences of that into Things That Are Unnecessary, such as Mason's reaction to being the host for Valet.

WHITE. We all know how hard Kira got screwed as a character in Season 5B. We know that scenes elaborating on Kira's time in the desert was cut, and the way that she was written out was flaming hot garbage, to be compounded later by the "her story was finished" crap of Season 6. Contrary to the Asshole Anon's rantings, I do pay attention to the way the production treated Kira and Arden Cho, and while I also know that Jeff Davis placed special narrative importance on Scott and Allison's relationship, the execution of Kira and Scott's relationship in 5B (especially the Cheap-Ass Green Screen scene) managed to damage the relationship for the audience in a totally unnecessary way, compounded by the fact that after 5x20, Scott never mentioned Kira again.

So yes, I was critical of how they employed Allison in Apotheosis, and I said so. If they wanted to show how powerful Scott's love for others and willingness to sacrifice they could have spent more time on how that affected Scott. The dynamics of Scott saying goodbye to Kira at Shiprock and then very next scene having him wordlessly focus on Allison (instead of letting Stiles tell Lydia about it, it should have been Scott) are just terrible. I don't think that describing how the production messed up is misogynist at all.

Indeed, one of the things I loved most about the movie is that there wasn't a hint of Scott having to justify his survival in how he treats other people, especially in how he treats Allison.