#“...I'll get better and strong. I'll impress everyone so I don't have to hear it--his name repeating over and over again.”

[maxiwaxipads]

Romarriche - “Your company is one of a kind… I would never lie to you. I would never say a half-truth or be quiet.” “What is it in your mind, Merold?” “Hearing your voice, complaint or not—it is music to me either way.” Merold - “If there is one constant in this world… Let it be you.” “You’re the cruelest and the kindest thing that happened to me.” “…If only you continued to look at me like that.” Romarriche - “…Merold?” Merold - “But~ It’s only a minor case of bad-mood-itis.” “So Romarriche, spoil me with a spar, will you?” Romarriche - “Merold.” Romarriche - “Look at me.” Merold - “…” Romarriche - “Is something… Wrong?” Merold - “Instead of a spar…” “I might want to lie down on your lap after all.”

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of all Saiyans

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Masterlist

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Welcome back everyone. And welcome to anyone new. I'm back… yet again. New year… I won't say it again. I jinxed myself last year. As always, DM's/Comments are always open if you have any comments, questions, or concerns. I'd also like to thank everyone for the constant support. It means a lot.

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Chapter 16

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Gohan rushes over to your side with Krillin in tow. "Wow, Y/N. You really held your own against Frieza. I'm impressed." Krillin praises you.

"Ya, it was so cool!" Gohan exclaims. "I had no idea you were that strong."

"And talk about that transformation." Krillin continues to fawn over your brief display of abilities. "It was unreal."

"I lost." You scowl at the pair in disgust. You swear there's something psychologically wrong with them. This isn't the first time you've seen them praise failure. It's one of their many odd behaviors that you've managed to observe.

Kakarot and Frieza stand mere inches apart, sizing each other up. You never thought this day would come. You've been reduced to nothing more than one of Kakarot's accessories. You feel ill. Piccolo turns to the others, a hint of concern in his voice. "All four of us need to get out of here and go somewhere safe. Quickly."

Gohan and Krillin nod at the Namekian. "Get him, dad! Make him pay for what he did!" It's kinda cute how much the boy admires his father. In a way, it reminds you of the way Vegeta was with your own. Obviously, your brother was far less endearing.

Now, you all stand much farther away. Well, the other three stand. You don't have the energy. Damn, going Super Saiyan is a real energy drainer. "I'm quite surprised." Frieza chuckles with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"And why's that?" Goku asks.

"I've never seen Y/N so fond of someone before." Frieza's gaze jumps from you to Kakarot. "Lord knows Jeice tried."

"That weird little red guy?" Goku looks back, his eyes locking on you. You meet his gaze, glaring daggers at him. "I don't think she likes me that much." He chuckles, turning back to Frieza.

"I differ. Not even her precious Raditz would've gotten away with a stunt like that. I'm surprised she even allowed you to hold her."

"What are they talking about?" Gohan turns to Krillin, who just shrugs. Piccolo, however, has a faint smirk dancing on his lips. You've heard that Namkeians have a heightened sense of hearing. So whatever Frieza and that buffoon are discussing, it must be amusing enough to put a momentary pause on the Namkeian's brooding.

The epic battle between Goku and Frieza begins. They trade blows back and forth, creating rubble across the terrain as they go. You want nothing more than to watch Kakarot wipe the floor with that monster, but you're struggling. You can barely keep your eyes open. So much has happened today. You're both physically and mentally drained. "Y/N?" Gohan turns to you. "Are you alright?"

"Never better." You faintly grin at him.

"Maybe we should get her back to the ship." Krillin looks at Gohan skeptically.

"Touch me, and you won't have to worry about Frieza. I'll end you myself." Krillin gulps, diverting his gaze back onto the battlefield. Even injured, the human is still terrified of you. It's comforting.

Frieza manages to get the upper hand on Goku, knocking the Saiyan into the water. Far too much time for comfort passes. Something's off. You try to focus on his energy, yet you come up flat. You must be weaker than you thought. Maybe Kakarot came up somewhere else? Adrenaline kicks in. You hop up onto your feet without a second thought. "You shouldn't be standing!" The brat scolds you, rushing to your side. "You're too weak."

"This isn't right," Krillin mutters. "Goku should've come up for air by now."

"He's fine. I've been tracking his energy." Gohan assures him as he supports your weight, desperately trying to get you to sit back down. "You heard that right, Y/N. My dad is fine. You don't need to worry about him, alright."

"I'm not worried about Kakarot." You scoff. "If your idiot father insists on getting himself killed, so be it."

"You don't have to say it. I know you care. If you didn't, you would've left already." You grimace, your eyes locking back onto the water. If Kakarot's still under there, he must have a plan. But then again, it's Kakarot. From what you've been able to understand, his plans don't ever seem to have much consistency.

What the hell? The large body of water begins to illuminate. You're not very familiar with Namek's aquatic life, but you're pretty sure none of the creatures here glow. Three balls of energy shoot out of the water. Collectively striking Frieza and knocking him down. Wow. Kakarot may be smarter than you give him credit for. Though you'd never say that to his face. 

However, Frieza isn't down for long, quickly jumping back onto his feet. With ease Frieza, lifts a boulder the size of a small island. He tosses the rock into the air, shooting it straight at Goku. The Saiyan manages to catch it. But struggles with the sheer mass of the bolder. He's pushed into another mountain, trapping him between the terrain.

Not even a second passes before Goku shoots a beam, the rock fracturing around him. Allowing the man to easily escape. "You fell for it!" Frieza laughs manically.

Frieza's trapped Kakarot in some sort of bubble. You didn't know the freak had an ability like that. He kicks Goku back and forth as if he was a ball. You'd probably find this situation amusing if this was anyone other than Frieza. The pair continue to go back and forth, causing the whole planet to shake.

The winds pick up, causing their audience to be blown back. You and Piccolo managed to maintain your center of gravity, but the other two went flying. Krillin grabs onto a tree, and Piccolo grabs Gohan by the fabric of his attire. "They're causing an earthquake?" Krillin shouts, clinging onto the tree for dear life.

"But we're not on Earth... so is it still called an earthquake? Maybe it's called a namekquake?" Gohan chuckles.

"I don't think the technicalities really matter right now, Gohan!" Krllin tightens his grip. "Especially if we all die!" The planet stills, causing Krillin to land flat on his face. You laugh at his incompetence. How the hell has he even survived this long? It must be because of the Dragon Balls.

"That's not even the half of it. Frieza could destroy this planet in one blast if he wanted to. He certainly has the power." Piccolo says, his stoic expression not wavering.

"So he's just toying with us?" Krillin glances at Frieza through his peripheral vision. "That bastard."

"He's having fun with Kakarot." You scoff. "We're just a bonus."

Gohan frowns, furrowing his brows. "I-Is my dad gonna be okay?"

"Frieza's not the only one holding back." Piccolo's gaze moves onto Goku. "Look for yourselves."

"Dad!" The boy chuckles. The Namekian may be correct, but you've heard the rumors about Frieza. And if there's any validity to them, this isn't even a speck of Frieza's true power.

Your eyes wander around the rubble of Namek, and you see something... well, someone. For a split second, you thought it was Vegeta. But their build is shorter and far too slim. The name pops into your mind sooner than you'd care to admit. Tarble? You feel as if you're falling further and further into a bottomless abyss.

Your brother is dead... both of them are. Tarble's been dead for years. There's no way he survived in space all on his own. And if the slim chance he did, this would be the last place he'd be. He would never actively look for a fight or put himself in danger. He was always far too timid, far too afraid. Back on your home planet, people would refer to him as your shadow. Wherever you were, Tarble was just two steps behind. Just like... your shadow. You try not to think about him much. But once in a blue moon, thoughts of him slip into your mind. You can't help it.

"Y/N?" Gohan looks at you, concern shining in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Krillin's expression mirrors Gohan's.

"Ya, it's nothing." You shake your head, squinting your eyes. "I just

 thought I saw something."

"What did you see?" Gohan turns his head in the direction you were fixated on, only to find nothing.

"I'm just delirious. My eyes are playing tricks on me." You close your eyes, massaging your temples. And just like that, the image is gone. You're losing what's left of your mind.

"Are you sure?" Krillin asks. You nod, not wanting to spend another second on this topic. You direct your attention back onto the battle.

As the battle continues, you hear a motor of some kind. It's heading straight for you. Your head darts towards the source. It's the Earth woman on some sort of pink vehicle. Has she lost her damn mind? She jumps onto the ground, landing in a v-shaped pose. "A perfect ten!" Her voice is more gravelly than you remember. Wait a second. You'd recognize that dorky pose anywhere... It's Ginyu.

"Bulma!" Krillin yelps. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous this place is?" 'Bulma' has his back turned to him, seemingly not listening to a thing he says. You doubt Ginyu even knows her name. "Bulma? Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Who's that?" You were right. That fool took her body without even learning her name. Oh, this is great. You begin to laugh hysterically, wiping tears from your eyes. After the day you've had, you really needed this.

"Y/N? What's so funny?" Gohan asks.

"This is the best thing to ever happen on this damn planet. It's so amusing that it hurts." You grab your stomach, wincing in pain from laughing so hard.

"Bulma, you can't be here!" Krillin scolds the false Bulma. "Goku and Frieza are having it out. You need to find somewhere to hide."

"Really?" 'Bulma' jumps up in excitement, moving closer to the direction of the battle.

"Hold on!" Krillin shouts. "Don't just waltz over there. It's too dangerous."

"Lord Frieza in his ultimate form." Ginyu looks on in awe, fangirling over his boss. "Wow. It's magnificent! Frieza's body is reacting to the Saiyan's power!"

Gohan and Krillin share a look. "Bulma?"

A frog leaps in front of Gohan, jumping into his arms. The animal attempts to communicate with him. Making several croaking sounds and lots of gestures. Wait. If Ginyu is in Bulma's body, then Bulma must be... she's the damn frog! Oh, if only Raditz could see this. He'd get a kick out of it. You can practically hear his brash laughter ringing in your ears.

Gohan's eyes widen. "I get it now. You're that Ginyu guy. It's beyond dangerous out here, little buddy. If I were you, I'd find a nice sturdy rock to climb under."

"This is bad," As you watch the battle, Piccolo speaks for the first time in a while. "The gap between their strength is widening."

"It... It can't be." Krillin and Gohan share an uneasy look as Bulma laughs maniacally.

"Bulma?" Krillin questions again, this time more concerned than ever.

"His Lordship Frieza does not disappoint. Victory is his."

"Enough of this. Who are you?" Piccolo questions. Looks like one of the members of Team Kakarot has finally caught on.

"Cap--" Ginyu's hands fling over his mouth, stopping him from finishing his sentence. He struggles to pose in the unfamiliar feminine frame. But quickly, he maneuvers into a fighting stance. His attention concentrated on the Namekian.

"Look out, Piccolo!" Krillin shouts. Unfortunately for Piccolo, the warning comes just a second too late.

"Change now!"

"Head's up!" Gohan shouts, tossing the frog-morphed human straight into the line of fire.

Once the blinding light disperses, everyone's eyes lock on Bulma. Who's standing there frozen in shock. Which means Ginyu must be... You look down to the floor and catch the frog scampering away. You shake your head and snicker. What a coward.

"That was a close one, huh?" Gohan chuckles.

"Ya... If I only knew what happened." The Namekian scratches his head. He seems a bit dazed.

"I'm back! Inner and outer beauty are in perfect harmony once again!" The woman jumps around in pure joy. You'd think being a slimy frog, even just for a few minutes, would've taught her a lesson about vanity. Looks like she hasn't learned a damn thing.

"We're all overjoyed for you. But look, you need to get out of here and find someplace to hide. This is the absolute last place you want---" A harsh gust of wind interrupts Krillin, blasting Bulma back.

Gohan gasps. "Bulma!"

"Save me!" The woman shouts as she's flung up into the air out of view."

You watch in horror as Frieza splits the ground in two, carving a massive trench in the landscape. It extends as far as your eyes can see, even through the waters. You always knew Frieza was the most powerful being you've ever encountered. Yet, this is the first time you've ever contemplated the level of strength he truly possesses. Because viewing him as the strongest being you've ever met is no longer sufficient enough.

"Did that really just happen? This is starting to seem like a one-sided fight." Krillin comments.

"Of course it does. Frieza is stronger than any of us could've even prepared for. The look on Y/N's face should tell you all you need to know. I don't think even she anticipated this." The other two turn to you as Piccolo speaks. The look of dismay clear across your features. "There's nothing else we can do now. He's just too powerful." You never thought you'd see it. It's as if the Namekian has given up entirely. He seems different than he was on Earth. You can't exactly put your finger on it, but something has changed.

The battle, more appropriately labeled as Kakarot's beating, continues. Frieza smacks him around like he's nothing. You watch as Frieza holds Kakarot underwater with only a single limb. That's not good. If Kakarot is so weak that that's all it takes to drown him, you're all in trouble.

For every second that tics on, you have less and less hope. Your mind filling with possible contingency plans for after Kakarot's demise. But not a single one is up to par. And just when you thought Kakarot was down for the count, he comes shooting up from the water. His voice booming louder than ever.

Gohan and Krillin cheer, shouting words of encouragement as they watch in awe. "For Gohan, everyone on Earth, and the future of Namek. I'm not about to give up!" Goku shouts as red energy engulfs his body.

You gasp as he goes right back at Frieza like the last few minutes never happened. If you ignore the whole selfless hero thing, you'd say you're impressed with his resilience. Goku uses the Kaio-Ken technique on Frieza. Frankly, you were impressed with its sheer power. Once the blinding light disappears, your vision clears once again.

And no surprises here; Frieza hasn't moved an inch despite the brute force Kakarot used. To the untrained eye, you'd think that little stunt had no effect on him. Unlucky for you, you're very well versed in Frieza's mannerisms.

"There's no way... Goku put everything he had into that. So how is Frieza still floating there with barely a scratch on him?" Krillin questions in utter disbelief.

"Dad's energy dropped like a rock..."

"There's no way someone this powerful exists." That human is sure shocked a lot. You think he'd learn by now.

"Goku's finished." Piccolo scoffs. "Guess that lunatic King Kai was right. We should've listened when he told us to avoid a monster like Frieza."

"Frieza's off," You speak in almost a whisper, your sights locked on the man. He's relatively unscathed. There's barely a scratch on him, only a few nicks. But you can tell. The slight spasm of his extended hand, almost as if he was shaking. Mixed with his eyes. His eyes give it all away. The twitching mixed with something you thought you'd never see from Frieza. Fear. A being has never come that close to scathing him before.

Three heads dart in your direction. "What do you mean?" Krillin asks you. "He's fine. That blast did nothing to him."

"You don't know Frieza like I do." You chuckle. "Out of the many years I've worked under that snake, not once have I seen him look like that. His physical condition may be fine, but mentally he's off." Frieza's fear is quickly replaced with a much more familiar emotion. Pure rage.

You watch as Frieza knocks the man down. And he continues to pummel Goku into the ground. "Wow. Kakarot's really gotten him all worked up."

"Dad, no!" Gohan tries to run out to his father, but Piccolo grabs his cape, restraining the boy in place.

"You might as well send Y/N back out here!" Frieza mocks. "Even in her injured state, she'd put up a better fight!" He's not wrong. You'd never give up like that. It's pathetic.

"I'm ashamed to even call you a Saiyan, Kakarot!" You shout as Frieza's beating of your fellow Saiyan continues.

"I can't take this anymore!" Gohan shouts. "I can't just stand here. I have to help him!"

"No." Piccolo, yet again, stops Gohan from running into the line of fire.

"But... Dad will die if I don't!"

"He'll die if you do too." You scoff. "You'd only be prolonging the inevitable... and I doubt it would be for long. We're all going to be slaughtered today. I say, if the boy wants to die sooner, let him."

"Don't listen to her. Goku has something up his sleeve. I can tell." Piccolo assures the boy. "But he has such little power left. I have no idea what it could be." Kakarot looks as if he's posing. Maybe he got possessed by Ginyu again. You chuckle to yourself at the thought.

"A spirit bomb!" Krillin abruptly shouts. "It's a special last-ditch move he picked up from King Kai. It gathers all the energy from everything around. The grass, trees, even us. Everything that has a life force."

"But how?" Gohan eyes the older man skeptically. "This place doesn't look like it has much life left."

"I know, but just look down there. It's not like he has many options." He notices the look of concern across Gohan's features, quickly throwing an arm around him. "Besides, your dad knows more about it than us. I bet he'll make it work."

"Oh, yes. Let's just blindly put our faith in Kakarot. When has that strategy ever failed you before?" You sarcastically mumble. "I'm not a gambler when it comes to my life. And if I was, my money's on Frieza."

"Do you always have to be so negative?" Krillin cranes his neck in your direction, his displeasure with you apparent.

"I'll start being more positive when---" And just like that, an idea pops into your head. "Wait. So the more energy Kakarot can get, the better?" Your energy increases significantly in your newly unlocked form. So, if this spirit bomb works as Krillin claims, your new form could still be an asset against Frieza.

"Exactly." Krillin narrows his eyes at you. "Why?" Without a word, you stand back up. You crack your neck, getting into a better stance. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Cause a few minutes ago, you could barely stand without Gohan's help."

You smirk. "I'll be fine, human." You start to scream in a desperate attempt to replicate your original transformation. It's much easier to do than the last time. It's different from the Great Ape one that you're so used to. That one you were born with and had to learn to control. This one you had to unlock. You quickly transform. Your hair changing into a yellow hue, and your eyes glow. You're the Great Super Saiyan again. Now that you're not using it directly in battle, it's less impressive than you imagined as a child. It's sort of anti-climactic. You just need to hold this form as long as possible and hope your body doesn't give out.

Gohan and Krillin stare at you in confusion, but the Namekian chuckles. "Smart." Out of all of Kakarot's little friends, you suppose the Namekian is the most tolerable. Well, he's at least the most intelligent.

"I doubt it will do much." You roll your eyes before moving your gaze back to the battlefield. You can't lie. You do enjoy the look of bewilderment on Frieza's face.

After a few moments, the Namkeian looks around. "What the hell am I sensing?"

Krillin looks up at him. "Like I said---"

All three of you turn to Gohan, who's gazing at the sky in dismay. "The spirit bomb..." The three of you look up, finally seeing what Gohan does. You've never seen a ball of energy that size. Not even when you were flipping planets.

"That can't be it..." Krillin gulps. "It's gigantic."

"Damn." You shake your head. "Well, I guess I'd rather die by Kakarot's hands than Frieza's."

"By the look on your face, Krillin. I'm assuming this one is exceptional." Piccolo looks over to the human.

"The one on Earth wasn't even half that size. He must be collecting energy from all over the universe!"

"Frieza hasn't caught on yet," Piccolo announces. "Why doesn't he use that thing while he has the upper hand?"

"It must not be enough to... you know..." Krillin trails.

"You can say kill. It's not a bad word." You snarl. "You had no problem with it when you tried to murder my brother back on Earth."

"Come on, Dad!" You can hear Gohan shout as you glare at Krillin. "Hit him with everything you got!"

"How long do you intend to just stand there?" Frieza shouts, irritation evident in his voice.

"You know." Goku lets out a breathy chuckle. "That's a very good question." You adore watching the way Kakarot gets under Freieza's skin. Kakarot's antics sure are amusing when you're not the one being subjected to them.

You watch as Freiza twitches before knocking Kakarot back. "Oh, no!" Krillin shouts. "He caught on."

"No, Krillin. I don't think he did."

"The Namekian is right." You grin. "Kakarot's just pissing him off." Goku stands up, returning to his pose. Which only enrages Frieza more.

"I'm not going to ask you again." Frieza continues attacking him. Goku simply ignores his request, going back into the same stance. Your invasive laughter echoes throughout the remnants of the planet as Kakarot's beating counties.

The other three watch in horror with the occasional glance of disbelief at you. "Krillin, Gohan. Transfer any power you can spare to me. Quickly." The pair begin to give their remaining energy to the Namekian.

"What about Y/N?" Gohan asks.

"Right now. I think all of her energy is concentrated on keeping her transformation active." Piccolo chuckles. "Both of your energy will be plenty for what I have in mind. Don't worry."

"What's the big rush, Frieza?" Goku chuckles. "You're so impatient." Moments like this make it clear that there's still some Saiyan left in Kakarot. It might be the only thing attractive about him.

"You dare mock me, ape!" Frieza creates a large blast with his hand. Knocking Goku back further, sending him flying into the water.

"You two!" Piccolo shouts. "Pay no attention to what's going on down there. Just focus your energy." You do wonder what the Namekian has in mind. Neither of those earthlings have much power left. So, it can't be anything too powerful.

"This should be enough." Piccolo shoos them away. "Now listen here and listen well. None of you are to involve yourselves, understand? This is my fight and my fight alone." You scoff. It's like Vegeta never died.

"But---" Before Gohan can raise any opposition, the Namekian shuts him down.

"You'd only get in my way. You gave me all your remaining energy."

As Piccolo leaves the rest of you, Gohan speaks up again. "We can't just let him do this. He'll get himself killed."

"He's not trying to go after Frieza." You chuckle. "He's going to attempt to buy Kakarot sometime. It's a suicide mission... and he knows it."

"We can't just let him---"

"Then what's your plan?" You scoff. "You need to stop jumping the gun. I used to be just like that, too. You're gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. How would your death help the Namekian?"

"It... wouldn't." Gohan sighs.

"Exactly. So stay there and shut up."

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" Krillin turns to you. "He's just a---"

"You shut up, too!" You cut the human off. " I didn't know children were omitted from death on your planet." You sarcastically mumble.

While Frieza is distracted by Kakarot's idiocy, Piccolo finally strikes. Sending Frieza flying back and out of view. A sneak attack. Not a bad strategy. But that kind of thing only works once. You know that when Frieza returns, he'll be less than pleased.

"Piccolo!" Goku shouts in relief.

"Ya, ya. Just hurry up and finish that thing before he comes back."

"I owe you one." Goku gets back into his stance to finish the spirit bomb.

"You better make it quick. That sneak attack is the only thing I can manage right now."

Frieza launches back over. A vein bulging from his forehead. "How is that Namekian still drawing breath? I thought they've all been taken care of." You just love it when Frieza is enraged. It fills you with joy.

"Goku... hurry it up! How much longer do you need to finish that damn thing? Cause something tells me that Frieza is losing his patience."

"I'm sorry." Goku grunts. "I just need a bit more time."

"Ugh." Piccolo groans. "Just throw it already."

"No. It's still not done. It's too weak. If I throw it now, it'll do nothing!" Piccolo scoffs at him, flying up into the air.

"Too pesky to live but too stubborn to die," Frieza smirks at him.

"You're going to eat those words, scum." You watch, waiting to see who'll throw the first blow.

"What's he doing now?" Gohan asks.

"I think he's going to sacrifice himself. He can't have much power left after that move he just pulled. Since Goku's not done yet, I think Piccolo's trying to buy him some time." Wow, the human is observant for once. You assume there's a first time for everything.

"I told you he was going on a suicide mission." You cross your arms, wondering how this will all play out. You know it'll probably end with the Namekian splattered across the landscape. But the moments that lead to that are far more interesting to you.

"Goku... hurry it up! How much longer do you need to finish that damn thing? Cause something tells me that Frieza is losing his patience."

"I'm sorry." Goku grunts. "I just need a bit more time."

Piccolo groans. "Just throw it already."

“I don’t think Piccolo can last much longer… he’s really taking a beating.” Krillin looks on in horror.

"We have to help him!" Gohan starts to fly towards the two men. You shake your head. The boy has learned nothing. If he refuses to adhere to your warning, there's nothing more you can do for him.

"Gohan, wait!" Krillin's voice stops him dead in his tracks. He doesn't speak another word, just shaking his head at Gohan.

You roll your eyes. "As I said before, You'd just get in the way. You'd be more of a hindrance than an asset. Don't be stupid. That job belongs to your moronic father." You look away from the earthlings, directing your attention to the battle. The Namekian is far too weak to provide you with any kind of entertainment. The only attacks he can manage are several small yellow energy disks. 

"How can someone so resilient be so dumb?" Frieza mutters. You've often pondered the same question about Kakarot. "You must have a death wish, Namekian."

"We're at the end of our rope, Goku. Finish the damn thing!" With little effort, Frieza slams Piccolo onto the ground. "That's all I got. Please tell me you're almost done."

Goku shakes his head. "It's still not finished yet. If I throw it now, this all would've been for nothing."

Frieza grabs Piccolo by the collar. "Say goodbye, Namkeian. You get to die on your home planet. You should be thankful. The others aren't so lucky. Thanks to me, two of them don't even have one to die on." Before Frieza can kill him, Krillin and Gohan shoot a collective blast at Frieza with the minuscule energy they have left. Stopping yet another murder attempt. Frieza's three for three for his assassinations on this damn rock. That's not a bad stat in general, but it is terrible for Frieza.

"You... pests!" Frieza shrieks. "I hope you all end up suffering the same fate as this damn planet!" You've never seen Frieza look this unhinged. You've seen him pissed off countless times, but never to this degree. You watch as Frieza starts another attack. The ball of energy from his palms growing larger and larger by the second.

"Goku..." Krillin chuckles nervously. "It doesn't look like we have much time left!"

"Okay... Okay. I think it's ready!"

"Come on then!" Piccolo shouts. "Throw it!"

"Now, Dad!"

"While we're still young, Kakarot!" Wow, all of you are on the same page for once. Maye hell has frozen over? Goku screams, launching the spirit bomb at Frieza. "Holy shit..." That monstrosity absorbs Frieza's entire attack like it was nothing.

"Get down!" Piccolo shouts. Everyone falls to the ground, the spirit bomb causing severe damage to Namek's landscape... well what was left of it. The harsh winds send you all flying up into the air. The planet has turned entirely into a body of water. And you're thrown right into it. You weren't really intending to go for a swim today. Guess you have no choice now.

You grab onto some rock, pulling yourself up, gasping desperately for air. "I hate this vile planet!" You laugh as your eyes land on the earthlings staring at you with wide eyes. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Y/N!" Gohan exclaims, running over to you. The boy practically tackles you. Wrapping his arms around you, clinging onto you for dear life. "You're okay!" Your body goes rigid. You're not used to this. As you've said multiple times already. Physical affection isn't something your people partake in.

Krillin walks over to you, a faint grin on his features. "I never thought I'd say this, but oh boy, I am happy to see you."

Gohan finally releases you from his tight embrace. "Did you sense my dad or Piccolo down there?"

You shake your head. "I can barely sense myself right now, Gohan." You look around, taking in Namek's drastic remodel. The once vibrant planet is now drowning. This isn't exactly a foreign sight to you. For many years, your job was to destroy and flip planets for profit. You scan the area, searching for any source of life. You'd like to say you're looking for Kakarot or the Namekian, but that isn't true. You can't help but search for Frieza. That man has terrorized you since you were a small child. It's hard for you to believe he's gone. You can't ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Everything just feels far too easy.

"Hey, over there!' Gohan points to another area. "I see something!" A green hand grabs onto a rock. Using all his strength, Piccolo pulls himself up, dragging Goku with him.

Your lips unconsciously curve upwards at the sight. What the hell is happening to you? You should've wanted Kakarot dead. The idea of getting rid of him and Frieza in one blast should have been joyful... but it wasn't. You were worried? Upset? You don't know how to define your emotions for this hypothetical scenario.

Though, Kakarot is the only other member of your race alive. With Vegeta and Raditz dead, you and Kakarot are the only things left of your home. And when you're both dead... it will be as if your planet never existed. Like your species never existed. The Saiyan race would be nothing but a distant memory... a tale of the past.

"Goku!" You hear the human shout. You see Kakarot there. He's alive. And yet, you can't help but think about what things would've been like if he wasn't.

The reality of everything begins to set in. Frieza, Raditz, Vegeta, they're all dead. And yet, you're still standing. For the first time in your life, you're truly alone. What do you do now? Where are you supposed to go? It's not like you have a home to go back to.

Your brother would know what to do. He always knew what to do. You feel so lost. You try to think about what Vegeta's next steps would be. First, he'd kill Kakarot, obviously. And with Frieza gone, taking over the universe would be a piece of cake. The Frieza Force is weak, but their soldiers are malleable. But is that what you want? Do you want to rule the universe?

That was Vegeta's dream. Not yours. You always just went along with his whims. Ruling the universe with Vegeta would've involved a lot of work; without him, it is next to impossible. The plan was always for Vegeta to do all the work, and you'd selfishly reap all the benefits. Without your brother, you don't desire to dominate the universe. But if you're not going to take over the universe, then what the hell are you going to do?

You watch their little reunion from a distance. It's filled with hugs and happiness... and all of the other shit you find nauseating. Frieza's dead... you should be happier than ever. Yet you're not. You feel... numb? You've never felt this lost in your life. Whatever is left of Raditz and Vegeta is somewhere underwater now. That is if their bodies weren't destroyed by Frieza's trench. Saiyans don't mourn. They suck it up and move on. That's what your father did after your mother died in childbirth with you and Tarble. Yet... you're melancholy. It's almost bitter-sweet. But mostly bitter.

Goku frowns, and starts to look around. Like he's searching for something, "Where's-" His eyes lock on you, a grin quickly replacing the frown on his lips.

You slowly saunter over to them. "You actually lived." You shake your head at the buffoon. "Color me surprised."

"Does that mean you're happy to see me?"

You roll your eyes, chuckling. "You really just hear what you want, don't you, Kakarot?"

"Man, that spirit bomb was a doozy. It was like the size of a planet." And they're back to their little celebration. Who are you kidding? It never ended.

"You better believe it was, Krillin. The hopes and dreams of the entire universe were packed into that thing." Goku looks at you from the corner of his eye. "And maybe a bit of extra help from Y/N, too."

"I was still afraid that you got caught in it."

"Come on, Gohan." Piccolo chuckles, ruffling the boy's hair. "Give your father and I some credit."

"Well, I guess it's time to head home with our heads held high. Might even have the chance to live the dream." Krillin announces.

"Huh?" The father-son duo looks at him in collective confusion.

Krillina laughs awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "You're seriously going to make me spell out what's at the top of my victory list, aren't you?" His face flushes bright red. "A girlfriend."

You sneer in disgust. "Humans are such pathetic creatures." The other three stare at Krillin in surprise before breaking out into laughter. You'll never understand any of them. And you don't desire to.

Once the initial adrenaline passes, everyone's now standing. Goku has one arm around Krillin, the other placed on top of his son's head. "You all ready to go? My spaceship should be able to get us back home in just under six days."

Gohan jumps in joy. "Yay! I get to see everyone in less than a week."

Goku grins at his son before turning to you. "You're more than welcome to come with us."

"It's not like there's any other way off this damn rock." You look away, avoiding his gaze. Great, you get to go from one horrid planet to another. You can't even pick which one is worse. Namek, which is a shell of its former self. Or Earth, which is home to some of the weakest, most pathetic creatures you've ever encountered.

Your ears perk up as Krillin screams. "What is it?" Goku asks, alarm dripping from his voice.

"Bulma's out there somewhere. And I totally forgot." He looks terrified. It's the same way the human typically looks at you.

"Come on, Krillin." Goku laughs. "Don't scare us like that. From the look on your face, I thought that Frieza was back."

"Ya, well, he's got nothing on her when she's pissed off." Really? He finds the Earth women terrifying? You've seen insects with a higher power level than her. You doubt the earth woman has eradicated entire species when she was angry. It must be an exaggeration.

The others laugh, but you aren't amused. "Don't make me laugh." Goku chuckles more, gripping his side. "My body's already mad enough at me as it is."

You stare at your reflection in the water as the Namekian speaks. You look like crap. You desperately need sleep. You look back up and see the earthling, his mouth hanging ajar; he's practically shaking in fear. You turn your head to see what he's staring at. Laughter escapes your lips. It's Frieza. You knew it. You knew it seemed too fucking easy.

"How can this be happening? There's no way someone could survive a blast like that and not get obliterated." Krillin looks on in utter disbelief.

"He's not just anyone. He's Frieza...." Your voice trails.

Frieza extends his arm, shooting a blast at Goku and Gohan. Piccolo jumps in, knocking the pair out of the way. Taking the impact of the blast entirely. "Piccolo!" Gohan screams, falling to his knees.

"He's alive..." You cross your arms over your chest. "At least for now."

Gohan gets up and rushes over to the Namekians' side. "Piccolo... please get up."

You watch as Kakarot clenches his fists, his knuckles turning milky white. "Bravo, my friend." You don't think you've ever heard Frieza refer to someone as a friend. Pest, sure, but a friend? Never. It's unnerving. "You nearly brought the mighty Frieza down. I've never had a call quite that close before."

Goku's gaze darts from Frieza to you all. "I want you all to get out of here. My ship isn't far. Grab Piccolo, find Bulma, and set a course for Earth." Why is everyone always so bossy? First Vegeta, then the Namekian, and now Kakarot. Who’s gonna try to boss you around next? The brat? "I'm not leaving. So don't get any ideas about waiting for me." His eyes lock on his son, who's in a trance-like state. "Snap out of it, Gohan!"

"I won't!" The brat stubbornly stands his ground; how Saiyan-like. "I owe it to Piccolo to stay and fight." Gohan starts to tear up.

"With what?" Goku questions. "None of you have enough strength left. The most you'd do is get in the way."

"Goku..." Krilin's voice trails. "You're serious."

"I advise against placing much stock in your vessel. But if you'd like, I can bring you much closer to home." That sounds mildly threatening. You know he's not talking about your home. All that's left of your homeworld is most likely a handful of rocks floating aimlessly somewhere in space.

"Krillin! Look out!" Gohan shouts. Frieza takes control of Krillin's body, blasting him high into the air.

"Frieza... don't do it!" Begging will only encourage him further. You don't see a way where any of you make it off of this planet alive.

"Goku!" Krillin shouts as he dangles in the air. With a clench of Frieza's fist, the human implodes. Talk about going out with a bang. You don't even see a body. He must have... disintegrated.

"You are a ruthless... heartless... bastard." Kakarot's fists remain clenched, his entire body vibrating.

Frieza laughs mockingly. "I think the pretty princess should go next." He extends his index finger in your direction. "And after I take care of her, it'll be the brat's turn." Frieza shoots a blast of energy straight toward you. It all happens so fast that any attempt to move would be in vain.

You can feel the heat of the energy against your armored chest. Yet there's no pain. The beam reflects off your chest as if you were made entirely of rubber. Frieza dodges out of the way, just barely evading his own attack.

"What the hell?" You mutter to yourself. You look down. Your armor is the same... but your chest is glowing. You reach into your armor, pulling out your necklace, holding it by the chain. This is the source of the light; the stars of the charm are shining. It's never done that before. Your necklace... it saved you?

"What kind of damn trick was that Y/N?"

"I- I have no idea." You grasp the charm in your hand. It feels warm, an odd, comforting familiarity you can't describe. Where the hell did your father actually get this thing?

Frieza is about to speak again, but his attention quickly focuses on Kakarot. Whose anger has only seemed to grow. Beams of light shoot all over the planet. It almost resembles lightning. He must like Krillin more than all his other friends you had slaughtered back on Earth. The waters form waves, and rocks shoot everywhere. "I will make you suffer!" Now, this is a version of Kakarot you can get behind. His hair flickers from black to blonde. No way... he can't be.

With one final shriek, he transforms right before your eyes. His hair was now in a semi-permanent state of blonde, with his eyes a much lighter shade. Kakarot... is a Super Saiyan. "Holy shit..."

"Both of you go. Take Piccolo with you, and get the hell out of here." It's clear this isn't a request. "Find Bulma, find the ship, and go." Gohan hesitates, not moving. "Do as I say now before I lose what little sense of reason I have left!"

"O-Okay." Gohan nods, rushing back over to Piccolo.

"Move as fast as you can, and don't look back. If Piccolo dies, then Kami dies... and I don't think I have to remind you what happens after that." And still, after all of this, his priority is resurrecting his pathetic friends. Unbelievable.

"What are you trying to say?" Gohan's voice shakes.

"I'm saying go without me. Get back home; I'll be there when I can."

"But... if we take your ship, you'll be stuck here. You'd have no way to get home."

"I'm your father! Don't talk back to me!" Goku snaps. "Just do as I say!"

"Alright, Dad." Gohan nods. "I'll see you at home." Gohan picks up Piccolo, flying out of view."

After his son is gone, Goku turns to you. "That means you too."

"But I wanted to watch..." You pout.

He scoffs. "I'm not asking, Y/N."

You place your hands on your hips, rolling your eyes at the man. "You sound like Vegeta."

Goku takes several steps toward you. Now, standing directly in front of you. "Stop being a stubborn brat and listen!"

You chuckle. "Now you really sound like Vegeta."

"I'm not playing this game." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Now get the hell out of here!"

"I never knew you could yell so much." You smirk.

"Well, that's because yelling seems to be the only damn thing you respond to!" He snaps.

"That's not---" Wait. Have you been conditioned to only listen when someone's screaming at you?

"Now, I'd happily entertain you any other goddamn day of the year, but not now." He takes a deep breath. "Now go before I lose my damn patience."

"Man, now you really sound like---" You're cut off by Kakarot's lips pressing against your own. The warm sensation causes your heart to flutter. Your eyes widen. Your breath catching in the back of your throat.

"How about now? Do I sound like Vegeta now?" You touch your lips. Did... Did that just happen? "Now go!" He takes a deep breath, seeming to have calmed down a bit. "When I return to Earth, we can get back to what we started before. So you'll get a turn, too. I'll gladly fight you... or fuck you if that's what you'd like instead. Maybe both if you listen." You choke on air. Who the fuck is this? Cause this isn't the Neanderthal Kakarot. Your brain is short-circuiting. "Just wait for me, alright. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"A-Alright." You're not sure if you love or hate this new Kakarot. You take a deep breath and regain your frosty attitude. "Don't die. Or do. I don't give a damn what happens to this planet. Well, it's not much of a planet anymore, is it." You fly up into the air.

"Hey!" He calls out to you one last time. "Take care of Gohan for me while I'm gone."

You grin, shaking your head. "You really are a terrible father!"

[felis-rach]

5, 9, 20 and 25 for Grimmer and (Umataro) Tenma! ^_^

(I love the need to specify the Tenma that comes with liking Monster and Astro Boy KJSJKSJK)

Grimmer:

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Hmmm I had to think a bit since I didn't have any song associated to him already - but I think Lysergide Daydream by Will Wood REALLY fits him!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Oh he seems like a lovely roomate! I'm very talkative and I like to hears other talk as well so I think we could get along!

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think I'll go with Tenma here. They seem like they would be very comfortable around each other, with Grimmer filling the silence and Tenma hearing him talk, and Tenma having the sensibility necessary to help Grimmer better understand his emotions. I do ship those men and I think they'd grow a strong friendship before start dating!

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Started Monster hyped to see him because of you. When he showed up, I was like 🥺🥺🥺🥺 this for the whole episode, seeing him being so kind and gentle and nice. Now... oh I still think he's so kind and gentle and nice, even moreso because of how that kindness had to grow from rocks and dried land. He's SUCH and interesting character, my favorite character in Monster, and I want only the best for him.

(Umataro) Tenma:

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Bro tbh I think all of Will Wood's discography fits him perfectly 💀 but the first that comes to mind is Against the Kitchen Floor, especially in a post-2003 sense Bonus: Science Ashbury Heights and you're to blame. That song fits him PERFECTLY. Bonus bonus: Phantasmagoria Ashbury Heights, I think it resonates a lot with his phase of grieving for Tobio and regretting creating Astro

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

I believe we would murder each other. And I will refrain from any comments that might suggest I'm extremely attracted to this man

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

This would be easier to answer if that wreck of a man didn't hate everyone but hmm. I think he could have a really strong relationship to Shadow, since Shadow quite literally knows him from the inside out. He has nothing to hide, so he can just be honest and open to him. And since he's changing for the better, I think Shadow would be willing to listen. I can see them making projects together and studying the heart of humans and robots, sharing their perspectives as such. And maybe Shadow could open up to him too as he developed his own sense of self but Tenma is still his blueprint. ...Wow, now I want to write about these two. Anyway, I think Tenma's closest friend since forever was always Ochan but since they're also dating I wanted to answer with someone else.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Now that's a funny one, bc I spent 49 episodes of 2003 strictly thinking "oh he's a great antagonist, I can definitely see him having some sort of redemption but I don't think he'll ever go back to Astro and Ochan's life." Then episode 50 happenned and boom. Now I want him to have a 200k words redemption arc actually. Everyone needs to be a happy family. Like I FELT the clown makeup materializing in my face but what can I do man. That hug destroyed me

.

[hwaightme]

Your fan, Jongho (part 2)

(part 1) (your fan ml)

⚽pairing: jongho x footballer!gn!reader ⚽summary: a bulletpoint-style drabble, continuation of part 1 ⚽wordcount: 2.5k ⚽warnings/tags: unedited, jongho is an undercover athlete, yeosang seizes opportunity, hongjoong is in on the secrets, sports, football, cute romance, secret relationship, seriously in love, overall wholesome vibes (lmk if anything isn't here) ⚽a/n: thank you so much everyone for waiting for this one <3 enjoy and please reblog, comment leave a like! lmk if you would like a new moodboard for this part, or anything at all <3

"Where are you going, Jongho?"

"Gym"

"Bro it is literally midnight and we just filmed two stages. Two! You are actually going to be dead tomorrow if you go."

"No pain, no gain. See you later, I'll be quick."

Jongho's behaviour was becoming increasingly erratic and unpredictable.

One moment he was stonefaced and would barely speak, and the other he would do an entire live belting love songs at the top of his voice.

And there were his disappearances to the gym, which he was now claiming acted as his alone time that no one should interrupt. To be frank, even if the members wanted to they would not be able to, seeing as Jongho was secretive of its location.

Hongjoong had a couple ideas as to what it could be, but chose to not share it with the others out of respect for the maknae. If he wanted to keep things on the down low, he should have the right.

But as a responsible hyung and captain, Hongjoong felt it to be his duty to pull him aside. This had started a few months ago, but recently had become noticeable. He chose to ambush Jongho when he was sure the younger would not be able to escape.

Other members were still getting ready for a photoshoot, while Jongho and Hongjoong had some time at their liberty to lounge around.

"Hey, Jongho, can I talk to you for a minute? Outside."

Jongho's blood ran cold at the sudden change in tone. What did Hongjoong want to talk about? Mustering his best impression of a confident and self-assured man who was totally not hiding anything, he followed the older man outside of the changing room and into a more private seating area.

"Okay, so, I don't mean to pry but excuse me what the heck?"

Well that was unexpected. Jongho's eyes widened.

"Wh-what do you mean, hyung?" He cursed at himself; what was that uncharacteristic stutter? Who was he right now? He felt his throat go dry.

"You know exactly what I mean, Jongho. What's up with you? And don't tell me that it is nothing, I have eyes and a brain."

Jongho desperately wanted to make some snide remark in return, but knew better than that. In Hongjoong's eyes he could read desperation and it was almost as if he already knew everything, but just wanted to hear Jongho admit it.

A silence weighed down on the pair, and to the maknae it was as heavy as the world.

For the majority of his life, he prided himself on being the type of guy who was not afraid of anything. If there was a challenge, he was ready to face it head on even if others told him that it was a lost cause.

For him, that was an opportunity.

Mature, dependent. Both mentally and physically strong. Even though he was an idol, he had the mental resolve and drive of an Olympian.

And this exact mindset was why he was confident that he could give you his heart.

Truth be told, you had his heart since a pretty long time ago anyways, just not romantically.

But that came to change when you and him started "hanging out", initially just as two people who admired one another's work, and then as two people who were undeniably infatuated.

The champion mindset also helped both of you plan ahead and form date strategies that were specially designed to fool press, had they ever gotten on your tail.

From unexpected route changes to even sometimes timing your dates, you and Jongho had taken a very tactical approach. As if you were training for a competition. So much so that maybe that was what made Jongho start behaving that way in general.

Which did work then it came to more distant friends and colleagues, but... not the other members of ATEEZ. And especially not Hongjoong. Jongho should have known better. Now he had to come clean.

So he began. Began by recounting the time that he received his first message from you after the his silly escapade with the note stuffed in his group's album.

"Okay bonus points for promoting us. But she was already a fan of ours, no? What if she had the album?"

"It was a risk I was willing to take."

"Anyways, that was off-topic. Do go on, I have yet to hear any details about why you are mystery man as of late."

So Jongho explained how you two had the bright idea of organising your dates at various gyms during times when the only types of people who could be there would be true gym bros or staff. Hongjoong had to admit, it was definitely the most careful approach he had heard in a while. Some other members' past attempts had been comical.

Jongho brushed over and not to mention the fact that you had been at one of their recent music show performances, though you did have a good covery story since you were with with two fellow team mates who were fans of some of the other groups that performed.

But what no one was aware of was how both you and Jongho disappeared for a solid quarter of an hour just to meet - luckily he knew the venue like the back of his hand at this point, so there were enough places to choose from.

After reiterating that both him and you were placing security and reputation above all else and were approaching every rendezvous with the seriousness of an investor risking his entire stock, he diverged.

He wanted to appeal to Hongjoong's emotions, something which he rarely did... to anyone really. It was more likely that he would approach someone and throw a couple of playful punches than drown in some 'feels'.

Hongjoong was so taken aback that he was almost disgusted, but nevertheless sat through Jongho's monologue on how "you know you go compose music and come back at random times, or you spend hours modifying clothing or shoes or something and that time is never enough. Well that is how it is with Y/N."

"Believe me, I am still very much career focused, and, I'll have you know, so is she, but even though..." he paused, unsure if he could even use the pronoun in the way that his mind wanted to, but decided to go with it

"we are in different worlds... different playing fields," he chuckled, "we are one in the same when it comes to values, principles and what we want overall."

"And what about when you go on tour, keep in mind, that the only reason why you were able to meet was because we did not have any schedules abroad yet. The next half a year is going to be crazy if you want to keep this up." Hongjoong countered, leaning against the wall behind him and giving his friend a once over.

He could not catch a single trace of the nervous wreck that had initially followed him into the room. Before him stood a man with intent, one who had is heart set and mind clear. And that was evident from Jongho's answer.

"Oh we have that planned out. If you want to hear the details, I'd be happy to explain." When he received a nod in confirmation, he proudly elaborated on how you two had spent an entire evening, two weeks ago, comparing schedules and down to the possible hours available, wrote out contact times and rest breaks in your phones.

"Damn, isn't that like... overwhelming?" Hongjoong felt tired just from hearing that.

"But it works, so it is worth it." Jongho stood his ground.

All this conversation really did was confirm that he indeed was serious about you, and was not going to let go any time soon, if ever.

Hongjoong had no choice but to give his blessing to the maknae, not before scolding him and telling him to be a bit more chill with the others and for him to keep that military energy to his relationship.

Mission success. He was free. And most importantly, free to love.

Once the captain was out of the room, and Jongho himself was heading out, he took his phone from his pocket to shoot you a quick text divulging the details of what just happened, and to wish you luck for the coming stressful period of trying out for the national team.

He grinned to himself when he opened the conversation with you. Both of you had saved each other as "PT 🏋🏻‍♀️" and took the liberty to choose the strangest photographs that both obscured identity and had the power to start a laughing fit.

His photo of you was a blurry shot of you mid freestyle routine, contorted like a forest goblin and reaching after the football like it was "your precioussss"

Oh gosh he was in love with this.

To be fair the photo that you had of him was equally as flattering, and on top of that your collection need not be 'homemade', as you had eagle-eyed memelord fans on your side to give you bullying content (all in good fun of course, you could never attack this teddy bear who you had completely fallen for)

His entire focus on the screen, he barely noticed a wild Yeosang, totally still, with a smug face.

"Oh hey, Yeosang, didn't see you there. What brings you out here?"

"Room got too loud. Mingi is singing something that sounds like death metal, Woo has reached the stage where he is laughing so hard no sound is coming out and 'joong and 'hwa look like lost parents."

"I see. So the usual." Jongho looked off to the side awkwardly, while Yeosang held his gaze level and was unfazed.

"You are down bad, bro." A short phrase, but one that shot through the maknae, making him gasp and nearly burst out laughing. So he heard everything. Of course he did.

"Any chance of making you keep this quiet?"

"I'll give you exactly one way to bribe me, and then I'll take this with me to the grave if you want."

"What is it?"

"Fried chicken. Any time I ask. For a month."

"Done deal."

"Pleasure doing business with you. Now let's go, we've been doing whatever for long enough."

And that was how Jongho managed to arrange for your relationship to be kept entirely secret for the next year and a half.

You had qualified for the national team, and ATEEZ was making it big. He was cheering for you, and you were cheering for him.

Though the time you could spend together fluctuated and was constantly adapting, neither of you were ever deterred by it, taking it day by day, being open and highly responsible when it came to your relationship. You two were the constant.

Slowly but surely, Jongho's reputation as an idol sports ace came to an ever higher prominence, as in a couple of variety shows he showed off his impressive coordination when doing some football tricks, power when during a match against another team he completed owned the game as a forward (how could he perform in any other way he was your boyfriend, for goodness' sake)

Hongjoong and Yeosang were totally not grinning like Cheshire cats, having the knowledge that they did. After any time Jongho presented his newly improved skills in a show, Yeosang would approach him to give him a pat on the back, in the style of "you did your girl proud"

Now, after the 1.5 year mark, right about the time when you two began to discuss the potential for making the relationship even more serious, together you decided to approach management to see how you could proceed.

Frankly, neither your agent nor any other staff could care less - pop off kid, you go be a power couple, so long as you make it to practice at 5AM and be a beast out on the pitch. You had not been worried about how that discussion was to go, so it went smoothly.

Jongho, on the other hand, was cracking. He had heard far too many stories of fellow idols being cancelled, getting into scandals or being fired all for just... being in love? And the last thing he wanted was to lose you.

You agreed to accompany him and be there if he needed it.

Though it was a long conversation, the boss was astounded at Jongho being the member to approach him with such a situation. His tactics had to be commended.

Upon hearing that you were waiting outside of the office, you were invited in at the speed of light, only to find out that, as luck would have it, the boss was a supporter of your team.

Your heart light, Jongho's face adorned by a gummy smile and the boss getting an autograph (which you were hesitant to give because you knew you needed to improve and grow, but the boss insisted, saying "an ever brighter future is ahead of you") - you two walked through the building, hand in hand, straight into a practice room where the rest of ATEEZ was gathered.

Jongho had asked Hongjoong beforehand to gather the members just in case, and if things did not work out just make it a legit practice and let him fight his management. But fortunately, things went as best as they could.

And now he could relish in the rest of the members' shock as they saw you walk through the door, HANDS LOCKED WITH THEIR PRECIOUS MAKNAE

OH HE IS A MAN ISN'T HE

THE MAN EVEN

After the initial wave of shouting, louder even than the stadiums where you had played, all of you settled down in a circle, mainly to interrogate Jongho and to inquire into your entire life.

The members took a liking to you, realising how you had full understanding of their profession, had total respect of any boundaries, and at the same time, was kind hearted and humorous.

And then you produced small gifts for each of the members out of your bag, and hereby, you gained full approval.

On any other day Jongho would probably punch the living daylights out of Mingi, San and Wooyoung teasing him about "when the wedding was" and call Seonghwa a sentimental mother. But he was too happy to care.

Yunho was happily chatting away with you, while Yeosang was busy unpacking his present.

Jongho caught eyes with Hongjoong, who was sitting to his right and was attempting to quieten the more 'enthusiastic' members down, and reciprocated a warm smile, appreciating the quick thumbs up.

He squeezed your hand, knowing that he was always going to be on your team. Cheering you on.

[egg-emperor]

One of my favorite go to fantasies is sneaking down to Mystic Ruins and making my way all through the jungle in the middle of the night to find the Egg Carrier that's landed at Final Egg. Getting a glimpse at the site from afar when above the canopy before climbing down the ladder into the jungle is so inviting and thoughts of seeing him makes me push on through to get there

I meet with Eggman and he's impressed by my devotion and determination to see him by coming all this way from Station Square without anyone realizing, in the dark cold night then all through thick jungle to get to him even if it's pouring with rain. That dedication is deemed useful and that's why he's been keeping me around and testing just how deep my admiration for him goes

I enjoy getting to come in from the cold night into the warm Egg Carrier. It feels like my real home now and I miss it and especially him every second I'm away. He likes showing me around and bragging about it and the boost to his ego with how impressed I am. He likes how I'm willing to listen to him talking non stop all about himself and what he's created with wholehearted interest.

We have drinks at the poolside and when he strips down to just swim shorts I can't help but admire his beautiful titties, tummy, and feet and when his shorts slip down a bit for a lil teasing peak at his butt hehe 🥴 He likes to show off his expert swimming skills then invites me in with him and we splash about, he can make huge waves! And we race each other across and I don't stand a chance!

We play with the toys, games, slots, and rocking Egg Mobile rides in the game room and I love getting to see his giddy fun playful side! Sometimes he works in the workshop or private room and shows off his efforts and basks in the praise. Sometimes he quietly reads or draws while I snuggle up to him and watch in admiration and love the cute look of concentration on his face.

We cuddle in his spacious pilot seat or couch in his private room. I enjoy losing track of time kissing him in the dim light, hearing the soothing ambient hum of the systems of the ship and our heavy breaths and kisses, enamored by his handsomeness and lost in his pretty blue eyes. I'm thrilled by his deep kisses, the sensual touch of his big warm hands, and his soft body pressed against mine.

He teases me when he feels my heart thumping faster against his chest and I blush hard as he makes me admit that I really, really, really, like him. I love being in his strong arms. He's dangerous and I know he has bad intentions and that I'm not safe with him, especially when we're all alone and nobody is around for miles to find me. But it's so warm and cozy and he's so handsome and irresistible!

He doesn't try to hide or sugarcoat his plans when he knows I specifically admire it. So he starts saying things like "What would everyone think if they knew you've been sneaking off to spend the night with a dangerous man like me? I want to destroy your city you know. Unleash chaos, wreak havoc until there's nothing left and it's the perfect building ground for my glorious Robotnikland"

And I just say "I don't care, I want to get away from it all, I'll trade it all for you!" and he says "That's a good boy~ I'm going to make it into something so much better. :)" He's pleased by the results of charming me, playing into my desires to get away from my old life, and testing my loyalty and how I keep proving how committed I am, even while knowing exactly what he's doing

We go outside to find a clearing in the trees to see the pretty twinkling stars and cuddle up to him and hold hands to keep warm. I love escaping life in Station Square to go deep into the jungle to visit such a beautiful base and ship, it's so peaceful miles away from it all. But it's also so exciting to be so lucky enough to be alone with such a handsome man in it and I want to stay there forever 💜

After that it's much too late and I'm too tired to travel through that jungle again, so Eggman takes me back to his private room to unfold the bed and he spoons me to sleep, there's nothing cozier than his warm squishy tummy pressed against me, strong arms around me, and the tickle of his fluffy stache and hit breath on my neck there's nowhere in the whole world I'd rather be 🥰

[tallyanimatez]

(Feather Au)Your dorm leader ver about Yuu being executed so amazing.Can I request about it again with the first years?

Everyone's out for blood today ay! *ends call*

I'm probably going on a long break from writing.

Feathers!Yuu execution but with first years.

Tw: mentions of death, angst, possible OOC because I'm learning

Out of all the people who chose to visit you, it had to be the people who cared about you the most.

"I really thought you were joking when you told us yah a wanted criminal"

Ace Trapolla, your first true friend you made in this wretched world. The person you wanted to strangle the most before.

Ace didn't give you the best impression when you two first met, when Grim officially joined the racing tournament. But his attitude has definitely improved a lot better now once you guys got along.

And now? You didn't think he'd muster up the courage to come and bid his last goodbye, you know how terrible ace would be when it comes to moving on, but you guess this is an improvement

After all, as long as he understands that even he can't do anything to save you, atleast he can say his farewell to stop being delusional.

"Well, I guess this is farewell then, but don't think you can escape me in the after life!"

"Typical Ace, hehe."

Ace turned around, good, if you can't watch it, don't look, you keep telling Ace to not act whenever it's not needed. Atleast now he's starting to change, when you're gone...

The next person comes up to bid their goodbye, you expected him to be here if Ace was here.

"I always looked up to you since you gave me so much helpful advice...I never thought you were a criminal Yuu."

Deuce Spade, if there's Ace, there's a Deuce. It's a non-spoken rule that your group knows of.

Deuce was the more helpful person whenever you, him and Ace hung out with each other, often assisting with heavy groceries or gears in general. He is just all on brawns...really.

You know that if none of the 4 will come, at least Deuce will see you to bid his goodbye, he understands the situation atleast.

The reality is more brutal than you think, that's why you shouldn't always be so oblivious to everything, so that it will be easier to move on when the time comes.

"I guess this is really goodbye...Farewell, I'll make sure to follow your advice though!"

"I hope you don't get into anymore fights Deuce."

Upon hearing what you said, Deuce frowned a little bit, but regardless, he moved back. Now the next person...

"I didn't expect this, not from someone like you at least..."

Jack Howl, the tsundere wolf boy you jokingly like to call. He's the main person you can count on when you need to go somewhere else leaving Adeuce unsupervised.

If there's one thing you'd give to him, he's better than any of you in this group when talking about attitude, well almost. His tsundere attitude wasn't always your favorite because you didn't like dishonesty, not like you have never lied before.

Jack is disappointed, you're someone who told him to go with what's right to him, and yet here you are, near your death.

You promised you wouldn't leave them, yet you knew the inevitable fate would come...why did you made it anyway?

"I don't really have much to say, I thought you were better than this"

"Sorry wolf boy, looks are deceiving."

Jack's tail dropped down along with his ears, despite saying things like that, he often can't hide how he feels most of the time, making it easy to predict how he's feeling...

He moved out of the way for the next person to bid their goodbye, the person who probably looked at you like a deity.

"I admired y'ah alot with your sharp tongue to people, but...this is too far ain't it?"

Epel felmier, your person to go with, because you get discount with Epel's pretty face, and he's fun to tease sometimes... and the person who would stop Vil from almost trying to poison you everytime you made him frown for defending Epel

He always wants to appear strong, puffing his chest out and trying to prove he's really strong to even trying to help you with your heavy gears & equipment ( even though jack is there to help and you can managed just fine on your own ), to indulge in his antiques, you just give him mildly heavy object so he won't complain.

Right now? Epel is quite upset, if you're gone, then he'd have to deal with Vil without any help, and noone would acknowledge that he's strong just like you did.

Even though he's often fight through pest and rough times during the country side, it won't be the same as fighting to move on once you're gone...

"I hope you'll get stronger to help more people apple boi~"

"Argh- not everyone is gonna look at me like y'ah do.."

You smirked, teasing Epel was a piece of cake, well almost as easy to tease Jack, but you can't deny that he had saved you from starving before by offering apple pie. You won't be able to repay the favor.

The last one, he's more quiet than his usual...

"..."

Sebek Zigvolt, for the love of god, you have no idea how he made it into this group, and how you survive with your ear drums intact.

He's loud. Especially speaking to his "Waka-sama" whom you have little clue about, and whenever you're bored, just listen to Sebek's rambles, free entertainment I guess...

It's awfully hard to get Sebek quiet majority of the time, you're surprised that he even attended your execution when he always saying he needs to be with his waka-sama, he's really hard to understand sometimes, but you're happy he cares at a somewhat degree.

A foolish human that is blinded by despair, you've made him feel something he shouldn't have felt when he swears to be loyal to his Waka-sama, you'll have to pay the price.

"I don't think you'll have anything else to say, so just back off and look away Sebek."

"..."

All Sebek did was backing down and standing to were the first year group is. You'd thought you'll lose your hearing to him because of how he follows what's moral and what's not alot.

But at the very least, your closest friends came...

You can go, till you meet them again next life.

-------------------------------------

Authors note: I think my brain went from 100%-0% when I wrote Ace to Sebek, possible chances of them being OOC but datz alright because I'm learning :D

Y'all out for blood aren't cha....

[autisticempathydaemon]

Heya! Here for the match up thingamajig :) ty for doing this, it sounds really fun. go through this in your own time, i know these asks get long 👍🏽 i'll try to provide some useful information here lol Hm. Ok I get two of the mbti personalities on repeat everytime i take the quiz, either INTP (logician) or ISFJ (defender). Right now, it's ISFJ, though I'm able to speak my mind well enough. Idk what my enneagram type is. My friends have called me loyal, stubborn and strong on multiple occasions. Also that I have a "spine of iron", and I take pride in that. I'm the one in the party that pulls everyone in to dance. I love parties, booze or no booze. I'm a social introvert, if that makes sense. I'm good with a crowd but I don't make friends easy. I'm restless sometimes, it manifests as zoomies and tons and tons of art. I've even made art for the fandom :)

As for the song, I've had Rigamarole by ROZET on loop for a while now. Specifically the chorus, "' 'Cause I ain't satisfied, you ain't satisfied, You know I can't lie, You know I'm bored out of my mind, 'Cause I ain't satisfied, you ain't satisfied, Same thing, new day, man, I'd rather die."

My imaginary friend was the guy that leaped over buildings alongside the car :) more than just picturing him running along the ride, i used to pretend he was real and make conversation.

I like my name, but if I had to change it, it'd be Surya. The hindu god of the sun. I've always kind of taken the celestial body as an example for what I should do. To keep burning and keep shedding light, constantly. I like how you can't stare at the sun for too long. I love the moon, but the intensity of the sun speaks to me.

Now to the redacted questions : I lack appeal for Marcus tbh. Idk why, I've tried, he hasn't stuck. I'm platonically attracted to David Shaw, which apparently is an obvious guess. He's a big man in terms of capability, what with being the alpha to the most famous pack in dahlia. I don't wanna befriend him because of his power - I have this thing where I try to make friends with people who I think are better than me, people that make me uncomfortable in my own pride. I think he's capable of shaking me up because of how he handles intense responsibility alng with everything else.

My favourite playlist rn is my "current favs" one lmao. a bunch of screamo rap and trap rock. Idk it's a phase i think.

And last but not least - my guilty pleasure media is bf asmr 👍🏽

Okay, you’re going to think this is just because of the Sun and Sunshine metaphors, but hear me out, I promise, I swear there’s SO many reasons I want to pair you with Elliott-!

The way you describe yourself socially, the kind of friend you are, makes me imagine you and Elliott as just the It Couple, especially at parties. Elliott also strikes me as the social chameleon type who fits in well, balancing that intro-ambivert vibe of mood making and knowing when he needs time alone with you to recharge. It’s that lovely friends to lovers image of y’all being that couple that never makes anyone feel like the third wheel because you’re so genuinely fun to be around.

I also like the bit where you mentioned surrounding yourself with impressive people you admire, because Elliott is so cool. He’s, like, a government-contracted Defensive Dream Designer which must require skill, ambition, creativity, all that jazz. I can see that pairing well with you and your art. Imagine him taking you into dreams and helping you construct visual models of your ideas, bringing them to life for you to recreate, the two of you making art together!

Song:

Hush, hush, the world is quiet/ Hush, hush, we both can't fight it/ It's us that made this mess/ Why can't you understand?/ Whoa, I won't sleep tonight

I like this song for y’all because of the fun, “will they, won’t they”, undeniable tension vibes of it; like, the opening line is literally “I kind of want to be more than friends.” It’s perfect! I also think it’d be a fun party song for dancing, in my non-party going opinion, and Elliott strikes me as an alt/indie kind of guy, so this seems like the genre he’d like.

Runner-Ups:

I like Guy as a runner-up for you because I think he also has that restless energy and bright, sociable nature that would make y’all the absolute best party guests, However, I love Sam as a runner-up because one, “loyal, stubborn, and strong” is also how I’d describe him, Two, I am obsessed with pairing vampires with partners who radiate strong Sun energy, okay, there’s nothing like it.

note: thank you for your patience, I hope you like your results! 💖

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[hansoheeglobal]

Q. I thought that the emotional acting became deeper through this work. Have you ever felt like you, as an actor, have grown in your acting?

A. (Shaking head) I don't have any. I am a person focused on the field. That's why I tend to break down when I can't concentrate. Everyone says I'm being embarrassed (laughter), but when I go as Chaeok, I told not to talk to her because I have to concentrate. Once I do, I feel better. I don't know how far this concentration will go or how much focus I will have. I feel like I haven't been able to concentrate 100% yet, so I'm not satisfied with myself. I think I'll be satisfied if I focus because everything is in order, but I still feel like I'm not focused enough.

Q. Although she is wounded on the inside, she is a strong character on the outside. How did you try to understand and digest it?

A. The wound must have become dull. It's 10 years, but chasing that pain ultimately means carrying it with a very strong mind. So it can't be described as a wound. It ends with her promise, her determination to find her mother. So it doesn't matter if you are cut by a knife or risk your life. People with scars can't do that. She thought it was the strength to move forward. For example, if you have 100 days when someone dies, you can cry for 10 days. But not when the 99th day comes. Chaeok must have been like that too.

Q. Actor Park Seojoon gave a lot of praise in the interview. How would you praise actor Park Seojoon?

A. For me, it shows when the filming set is difficult. The assistant director even asks if I’m okay. Seojun oppa looks really good, but he didn't make it obvious. He's good at controlling himself. It's amazing that only a mentally strong person can do it. He could've said it was difficult, but he didn't. Later, he said, "It was really hard for me, too." So, I said, "I can't tell. How did you endure it?" I thought it was amazing. I thought I was filming while leaning on (Seojoon) oppa, but he didn't say anything and he was filming while leaning on me. Since (Seojoon) oppa was so dignified, I didn't think I should say that I was having a hard time as well. I felt very scared of Seojun oppa at first. He doesn't even talk much. (Seojoon) oppa always poses on set. He sits in his chair and looks at his phone and sits still. How can I talk to him when it’s like that? Since we got close, there is no one in the world who is this friendly.

Q. Writer Kang Eunkyung said she was impressed by Han So-hee's attitude. What is something you consider important in the field?

A. It's concentration. It's not just about focusing on the actors when creating a work. Everyone on set, including the director, must do the same. I don't like to chat or joke before filming. It's okay once we've finished filming all the scenes, but I can't get excited before filming. This will probably be like this for the rest of my life.

Q. Looking at the works you've been doing, I think you've been doing a lot of heavy and serious characters.

A. Strangely, I only get characters that are opposite to my personality. I talk a lot, but my character is quiet. So, I want to try a character that matches my personality. I think Nabi in 'Nevertheless' was a bit similar, but her way of looking at men was completely wrong. Dakyung from ‘The World of the Married’ was also wrong.

Q. Recently, on the so-called "solitary room" (a message group on KaTalk) you wrote, "I'll do my best not to embarrass my fans, so please give me just the right love until then. I'll pay you back twice as much." Is there a reason you did that?

A. I'm a person who started my career as an actor, and I don't want my fans to hear that I'm not good at it. I couldn't be better when I hear that I'm good at it. But you shouldn't be told that you're bad at it. This is something that should never be done, and you shouldn't use it as a career. There must be a reason why you get paid, and that's because you did the job perfectly and did it well. So, I don't want to be embarrassed when fans say, 'The person I like, Han Sohee, is an actress.' I think we should be able to say with pride, "My unnie is an actor, she's an actress," not "Sohee, you're pretty."

Q. Is there a reason why you use "hyung-nim" to actor Park Seojoon and actor Do Kyungsoo?

A. I can't say "oppa" to anyone. Even when I was young, there was no oppa around me. The word "oppa" is awkward. Only when we meet face to face can I quietly say, ‘Oppa was like this,’ but I don’t like calling ‘oppa’ through text, so I call them ‘hyung’ or ‘hyung-nim’.

Q. You became a hot topic by expressing your affection for actress Song Hyekyo. Do you usually express it like that?

A. I am only nice to people I like. Human relationships are closed. (Showing her cell phone) I only have 35 people in my phone contact.

Q. Did you save your younger sister's number that you fought with? (laughs)

A. (firmly) disowned. So I don’t have a younger sister.

Q. When you look at the fans, honey drips from my eyes. you're famous for being nice to your fans, to the point where I can't help but think, 'It must be nice to be a fan of Han Sohee.'

A. I'm so thankful and happy for the fans. I think they really like and support me for no reason. I'm expressing as much as I can to those fans.

[trikeyaredilfs]

Banned

Pairing: Trevor/Michael

Prompt: Bar

Summary: Despite revealing that Michael was the sole reason Brad was murdered, he found it to be a good idea to go for a drink in Sandy Shores.

CW: suicidal ideation, alcoholism

How did Michael end up at the Yellow Jack Inn?

Good Question.

Why was Michael in Sandy Shores when Trevor was pissed off with him?

Better Question.

Why was he still sober enough to think?

The best fucking Question you could ask.

-

Somehow the low rumble of the jukebox was still audible over the muffled conversations between the mix of bikers and hicks. Michael stuck out like a sore thumb, his tidy suit and slicked-back hair quickly gained him the nickname "city boy". Occasionally he'd hear himself mentioned in other conversations, but they'd quickly return to whatever tall tale was being spewed about a hunting trip or what kind of modification was being put on their vehicle.

The closest damn thing to the ramblings that took place back in North Yankton. Michael hated the city for that, he missed the simplicity of small-town gossip. Who was getting married, who was having kids, and murmurs about the newcomers in the town. That was how it used to be, but in Los Santos, it was all about what celebrity had fucked who, how many millions some corrupt asshole had dumped into another useless corporation, and how many people were living on the street because they couldn't afford rent.

He downs the rest of the whiskey in his glass, setting it down before sighing. It was nights like these that he really wished he would've been pickier with his placement by the FIB. Better yet, if he hadn't pulled this whole "fake your own death" thing at all. Things wouldn't be so rough with Trevor, Brad would probably just be in jail, and Lester wouldn't always look at him with this look of...disgust whenever he spoke about his "movie director" lifestyle in Los Santos. Sometimes he wonders if maybe he would've been better off being the one buried in that box back in North Yankton.

"Hey, Jan. Get city boy over there another whiskey, I can hear the gears grinding in his head from over here." remarks a biker, gruffly. The bartender glances to Michael, approaching him. Her name tag reads "Janet". "Hey, big shot. You need another?" She asks with a soft southern twang.

Michael looks at his glass, contemplating. "Nah...well." He taps his finger against the glass, "Ah, fuck it. Yeah, another round, please." He pulls out his wallet, flipping through a few ones before setting them on the counter. Janet sets the whiskey down in front of Michael. "So, city-slicker, you definitely ain't from around here, so what brings you to my bar?"

Michael laughs softly, pulling the whiskey closer. "I wish I had an answer for you, truthfully I don't even fuckin' know." She leans on her elbows, "Well, whatever brings ya, stranger. You're definitely one of the better customers." She says softly, smiling. He laughs again, this time with little humor. "I'm guessing that's not a high bar of standards."

"Well, usually my better customers pay their tab and don't make me have to find people's teeth under the booth tables. So, I would very much so say for a fancy man like you, not high standards at all." She nods her head, "Nothin' like your city bars, we just got the strong shit."

"Well, I happen to like the strong shit." Says Michael, taking a sip of his whiskey. "Well, I happen to have a good guess that you weren't born in the city," Janet says, glancing over at him. Michael now meets her gaze, intrigued. "I'll bite. What gives you that impression?"

"City folk, they will sit closest to the door. They're afraid of Jerry and the other bikers. Now the country folk, we sit inside. We're avoiding someone, maybe a wife, maybe the cops...but we're hiding. Plus, you got the charisma of a city boy, but your mannerisms ain't city."

"Ain't city, huh?"

Janet looks back across the bar, finding everyone still entertained, she glances back to Michael. "Well, am I right?"

Michael tilts his head in thought, then nods. "Yeah. I was raised on a farm."

"Was it worth it?"

Michael blinks, "Excuse me?"

"Moving to the city, was it worth it?"

He sits a moment, falling back into his thoughts. "I think so." He murmurs in response. She seems satisfied with his response and gives him a tap on his free hand before collecting his money. "Let me know if ya need somethin' else, slick."

Michael takes a long swig of his whiskey now, feeling a sense of uncertainty wash back over him. Was he really that out of place? Noticeably enough to be called out by a complete stranger? He feels his stomach twist again, his vision darkening at the edges.

The door slams against the wall, and Michael jumps, his head snapping back to see who had just created the commotion, as had the rest of the bar. "You are banned! Get the fuck out of my bar!" Yells Janet from across the counter.

Standing in the doorway, his chest heaving and his eyes locking onto the suited man was Trevor. His jaw clenched and his breath hisses through his teeth. "You."

Michael could barely react before the man grabs him by the shirt collar, towering over him. Michael's eyes widen, and his breath caught in his throat. "I knew that was your fucking hunk of shit sitting out front. You got a lot of nerve fucking showing up in my town, tiptoeing around me. Drinking at my fucking bar."

"Trevor. Get the fuck out! Take this shit outside. I am not cleaning up your fucking mess! Out!"Janet yells.

"Oh with fucking pleasure, Jannie!" Says Trevor, hauling Michael to his feet before dragging him outside, throwing him to the ground. Trevor lifts his foot right above Michael's head. Michael puts his hands up "Trevor! Fucking stop, please!" Michael chokes out the last word, barely managing to get himself onto his hands and knees before emptying his stomach. He wretches and gags.

Trevor freezes, trying to process what had just happened. He tries to bring his foot down on the back of Michael's head, but can't bring himself to. The man is shaking, having thrown up on himself, softly choking back pained tears. Trevor growls before stomping his foot back down just beside Michael.

"God. Fucking! Why are you always so pathetic?" He barks. "I just want to stomp your fucking brains into the curb and-!" He throws his hands up. "Just get up."

Michael heaves again, nothing else coming up. He stands, hands shaking and covered in bile. Trevor grumbles something, as Michael just looks at him, eyes pleading. He looks away from Michael, taking his shirt off. "Wipe off your hands and face, and get in the truck."

"Wh-"

"Now!" Trevor roars.

Michael just follows his command, taking the stained shirt from him and hesitantly wiping himself off, he walks over and climbs into the truck. Sitting in the passenger seat, in dead silence. He figured this was it, Trevor was going to kill him and dump his body in the desert somewhere. That would be the end of Michael De Santa.

To his surprise, the silent ride took him just down the road to a familiar trailer. He just looks at Trevor, who is still white-knuckling the steering wheel. "Get out. Go inside." He orders.

Michael simply obeys, he gets out, sliding out of the truck, his feet hitting the ground as he stumbles into the trailer. His body felt like it was going to collapse at any second. What the fuck was happening? He thought as he made it to the couch, his breath still shaky. The room was spinning, but he could only see about a quarter of it, and what he could see was fuzzy. He felt like he was melting from the inside out and like he was going to get frostbite all at once. His heart pounded inside his chest. This was it, wasn't it? He was going to have a heart attack and croak. Right here. On a meth head's couch.

His mind still spiraled as Trevor walked in the door, storming into the bathroom. He comes back out with a pill bottle, handing it to Michael. "Here. Take the fucking thing."

"What- What is this?"

"It's fucking anxiety medication, you're having a fucking panic attack, you moron." He mumbles, sitting back on the couch, grabbing another beer from the case, popping the cap off with the corner of the couch. Downing about half the bottle before resting it back in his lap. Michael stares at the pill bottle, it was prescribed to Trevor, and somehow, unshockingly that this man would refuse to take a mood stabilizer. He twists open the cap and takes a pill into his hand, looking around for something to take it with. Trevor glances over, holds out his half-empty beer bottle. "Are you supposed to take this with alcohol..?" He rasps, his voice was hoarse from the sudden surge of adrenaline and stomach acid.

"Do you want the fucking beer or not?"

Michael takes a swig, tossing the pill back before sitting against the back of the couch. He hands the bottle back to Trevor, staring down at the dirty floor of the trailer. "Don't puke on my floor." Trevor warns.

"I can't." Michael retorts, "I don't have anything to throw up."

"No shit, I just watched you flip your stomach at the bar." He scoffs. "Why the fuck are you here, anyways?"

"I don't know. I don't want to be around Amanda. I don't want to be in the city. This was the only place I know."

"You own Hookies, that's just a blatant fucking lie. You're pretty fucking good at that you know? Being a lying fucking snake."

"I don't fucking know, Trevor. I didn't really want to be here either, it just kind of happened." He admits.

"It just happened? What? You just, magically, fucking arrived in Sandy Shores? Which may I add is an entire hour away from your stupid little shit palace back in LS. It's not a mistake, Mikey. You are just fucking lying, again."

"Then why the fuck would I come here? Do you seriously think I want to come here and just-" He makes a waving motion with his hands. "Get bitched at about how much I fuck up? Because let me tell you it's a lot cheaper to get bitched at, at home."

"By your wife, that's not there? Right?"

That struck a nerve. Michael finally had it, he swung, connecting with Trevor's jaw. Suddenly Trevor's beer hit the floor and he was at Michael's throat. "You made me spill my fucking beer, that is a party foul, asshole! I will fucking kill you with my bare hands, don't try me, Mikey. Because I have fucking had it with you!"

"Good then, fucking do it! Because I've fucking had it with me too."

Trevor's grip loosens, his eyes narrowing. "You couldn't even fucking kill yourself? You came here, knowing it was a suicide mission because once again, you wanted me to do the fucking dirty work? Unbelievable."

Michael laughs with no humor, "Apparently nobody wants to fucking do it."

"So you come to the one person who you pissed off because you thought I'd just do it. Get your blood on my hands so once again you could blame me for some fucking mess you got into? That's original." Trevor stands, kicking Michael in the side before walking out onto the porch. Leaving Michael on the floor.

What in the fuck was he even doing here?

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Hi! Can I get a Lotr ship please? I'm Moon, she/they, bi girl, but would prefer a guy.

I like wearing dark, gothic, or cottagecore clothes and enjoy shopping, video games like Pokémon and cooking, baking. Sharing food is my love language including physical touch. I'm a fantasy nerd and daydream a lot. I also write sometimes. I get frequent migraines but being outside in fresh air helps a lot.

Very silent at first, but after some time I'm my true cheerful and loud self. But I'll adapt to the situation if I need to be more quieter. I learn pretty quick, I'm independent and won't take any disrespect. If someone were to insult my friends I'd go feral and hate when people torment others and abuse their "power.

I can be a little "sneaky" and play small pranks on my friends in real life, if they're fine with it. I'm ambitious and stubborn, but not reckles and actually prefer to do things the safe way. My humor is pretty dry and I adore making my friends laugh. I've often been described as giving off weird, but kind cousin/older sister vibes and I'm definitely a little eccentric (I relate to Luna from HP a lot).

Thank you! Your writing is fabulous🦇💕

im sorry why are you me. why are you me. why. I don't play pokémon but the rest. (also thank you for that compliment, it's always amazing to know people actually like what I do! you've been reblogging sm, it's really sweet) - so just that you know, I might be biased with this because you remind me of, well, me. I might just have given you someone I've fallen head over heels for. feel free to request again tho if you don't like that lmao

alright,

I ship you with...

Eomer!!!!

let me tell you why.

- Eomer is absolutely enamoured the moment he first lays eyes on you. And when someone like him comes along, obviously you are, too. Everyone would be, right? Well, maybe not everyone. But he’s so strong willed and loyal and he follows his heart even when it breaks the rules, and all that just makes it really hard for you not to fall in love with him. 

- You don’t talk, at first, but because he’s - not arrogant, no, but certainly not above a little mocking - he soon hears you speak up. That situation does set your impression of him back a bit. He’s just as quick to redeem himself, though; he’d never meant to actually insult someone and he has no problem apologising to you. And he realises instantly that he couldn’t have done anything better because you talk to him after that, you really talk and open up to him and he’s never enjoyed getting to know someone more. 

- He loves your stubborn, your ambitious side, especially because you don’t tend to do reckless things. The way you can stand up for yourself and for others, how you have the perfect plan to keep things safe, a skill that some would call strategic wonder, how it just so happens that you don’t let people step on your toes, he just cannot do anything but fall helplessly for you. Are strong women his type? I guess so. 

- When you play little pranks on him, you realise very quickly that it’s really, really hard to get him to even flinch. He is so not easily scared. So you make it a competition. Of course you refuse to do anything hurtful and most of it is to make him laugh, or maybe it’s because he always wraps you up in his arms after you’ve tried to prank him again, but whatever the reason you don’t stop. And you won’t. Maybe you’ll get him to flinch at least once in your life. 

- He definitely is the number one fan of your baking and cooking, partly because he’s always the first one who gets to eat it and also the one who gets most of it, even when you plan on sharing with others too. Sometimes when he has to go out for the day, he’ll walk up behind you while you take the cookies out of the oven, kiss your head and sneakily steal one that he’s already stuffed into his mouth and run away with before you can scold him - not that you’d mean anything you said, anyway, you always have the biggest grin on your face. Especially because he’ll turn around just before he’s out of the door and shout how good they are. 

- Whenever you get a migraine, he’s the most careful, caring guy you could wish for. He makes sure you have whatever you need, and when the headaches are even worse than usual, he often stays home with you. He definitely joins you on walks or just outside with a book, or he gladly takes you with him for a horseback ride. He’s so gentle, so very gentle, the way he cups your face with such endless softness and care to make sure he doesn’t hurt you....... I’m crying over here, I love him sm. He strokes your head or loosely braids your hair or does literally whatever you ask of him, and he always, always is in range of touch, and unless you’re uncomfortable, he always is touching you in a way, soothing you, just brushing his thumb over your arm sometimes. 

- There simply would be no one in the whole wide world who’d worship you more than he would. 

[mintb0w]

"Get out!" 

A senior, in his late 40s, threw me out of the store. My hands and cheek simultaneously received cuts as a result of my face brushing against the coarse sand. This stunned everyone, but they proceeded with their current tasks. I glanced behind me while adjusting my hat, which was concealing my vision. Those fiery brown eyes that could penetrate through me met mine. I quickly crouch in his direction and bow my head in forgiveness. 

"You must understand, please! To support my son, I need money!" I pleaded with my life. He chuckled at my face as I looked up with tears streaming down my face. "What gives you the impression that I'll hire you? You deceived to my face admittedly, and now you want something from me. Ha, women are expected to take care of their families at home."

I was cognizant of it. These folks wouldn't comprehend. "How am I supposed to care for my family if my husband is gone? Only eight years old and ill, my son."

He moved to kick me out of his path. He roared indignantly, "Don't question me and just go! The conversation has ended; you won't be hired for this position. You're upsetting my clients."

I stood up and grabbed my waist where he kicked me.  Another attempt to find employment has failed. Once they hear my voice, they can identify me. For lying about my gender, they strip me of my clothing and beat me. Barely inches before grabbing my wallet, I bent down. It was instantly taken by a hand with quick movement and fled. 

"NO!" I shouted and followed after him. He hasn't gone very far, I think to myself, and I come up with a strategy. I ran after him and decided to slip around him. Once he realizes he no longer needs to be concerned about me, he will let his guard down. 

I halted and started to pant. I catch of him looking behind and smirked. Of course, this infuriated me, but I managed to disappear into the crowd and chase after him. We don't want him to venture too far. I concealed myself behind this location's rugged walls. He paused his sprint to survey his surroundings. I continued to look at him. 

I lowered my hat to shield my front eyes as he entered a shoe store. I followed them inside and took a few minutes to look around. Various shoe styles are hung throughout the store. I saw a few little pairs of shoes and wondered if my son needed some new ones. No, I have to remain focused. From above, I could hear gasping noises, so I followed them. When I entered the room, a sleepy man was strangling the elf-like robber. Legs around his neck and squeeze his neck hard. I grinned maliciously, thinking that this might be my moment to steal my money. I moved in closer and attempted to take the man's wallet, but he pulled me away. He sure is greedy, for someone is suffocating to death.

"Listen, thief, I'll help you but in return, I want my money. I know the exact money I have to so don't try anything. Deal?" He hesitated but he turned blue and nodded his head quickly. I let out my hand in expecting my money out. He went through his pocket as he gasped desperately. Tossed my wallet and random money too. Which I accepted and started to look around. I pulled a string which seemed like it kind of worked. He looked better but the sleeping man began to squeeze again and groaned. the thief began to whimper so I panic. I don't want to see a dead man here. So, I pulled on the sleeping man's leg in attempt to get on off. Didn't worked; he is extremely strong which is scary. 

I know! I approached the man and tickled his neck close to his face. On everyone, it typically works, and it did. He laughed before letting the thief go. Before I could grab him, the thief panted and fled. I groaned quietly and turned to face the man. Probably a restless sleeper. Maybe there is a job vacancy for him. In an effort to look like a man, I tucked my hair under my hat. Women can work, yet sexism exists, and men are typically paid more. I approached him and gave his right leg a little kick.

The sleeping man yawned as I sensed him shift. I stooped and prodded his shoulders. He quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me down before I could react. I gasped and tripped over him. He encircled my waist with his legs while stabilizing me with his arms. He squeezes hard and then gently releases. For him, I resemble a teddy bear. It seems as though my brain stopped thinking because I didn't move a muscle. What shall I do? Move him aside? Attempting to rouse him? But why do I feel as though I want to stay where I am?

It's very cozy and secure. Since having my son, I haven't experienced this. I was able to forget about everything because of the warm, cozy sensation. Despite the fact that he is a stranger, perhaps I could continue like this for a while. I was desperate to have this from someone. I shed a few tears because I was so at ease for once. How pathological that a hug made me feel so emotional...

NO! Why am I doing this? This is untrue. I kick him while using my feet to free my legs from his grip. My knee struck his region. He immediately shrieked in pain as a result, released me, and put his hands on his area. He began to roll about. I'm aware of how delicate the area is there, but I didn't mean to hit.

"Oh, dear! I apologize; I was just trying to get you to move away from me. I wasn't trying to hurt you." I brushed away my tears and stayed away from the man. I doubt he will hire me after what I did to him... He remained on the ground for five minutes as I kept hunting for something to assist him. Sincerity be damned, I have no idea why I'm still here. I'll flee as soon as I can if he does try to hurt me. He stood up and the space between us was silent. He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side. Oh! He requests an explanation of my presence.

"To start with, I wasn't intending to steal from you or act creepily. I came here to apprehend a thief who broke into your store. You affix him to your trousers," He looked down and saw a few tiny holes when I pointed out his overalls. "I succeeded in separating him from you, but regrettably he got away. I apologize; he also stole from me, but I was able to recover it. But you didn't." He patted my head as I made a small bow. His face was relaxed when I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged and pulled out his pockets, which were empty.

"Are you trying to say that you didn't have the money before?" I asked and he nodded his head. That got me thinking, if I worked for him, he might be able to recoup his costs. I'll also be paid!

"You own his business, yes?" He cocked his head to the side and nodded when I asked. "Great, I could work for you--" I quickly stopped talking when he immediately shook his head "no." My eyes started to tear up once more, and my smile faded. I can't take it any longer. I didn't mean to kick his crotch, so maybe that's why. Why is getting a job, which I only desired, so difficult?

"Why?" My voice quivered as I questioned. He looked down before his eyes widened when I got closer to his face. "I need a job. I need to make money to save my son. Please, I beg of you."

He gave me a little shove away as he continued to stare into my (f/c) eyes. He pulled one of the tacks out of his mouth and spoke, "My business isn't going so smoothly, I'm afraid you have to find someplace else." I sank on the ground and begged. "Nobody will work with a woman like me! I'm running short on time! If you want, I'll put on a man's suit and market your company everywhere." I stumbled over my words. My heart bleeds at the idea of my son leaving me as well, and I started to cry in an ugly way. The idea makes me feel hopeless and like a failure in front of my son.

He extended his hand to me, and I took it. I must depart and look elsewhere. How humiliating. crying in his presence. He raises me up and pushes my facial hair out; I flushed since this seems unusual. His smile grew softer as I stared into his kind, blue eyes. He said "Your devotion to your son is admirable. I'll give you a job, but I also advise acquiring a second one. Please, if you need anything, come to me. I'll want you to get dress--" I interrupted him before he could continue his thought because I held him so tightly that I started crying. I needed to let this out before I let my son see me like this, but I couldn't control myself. I'm so used to crying alone at night, but at this moment, I needed support. He cradled me tenderly in his arms and ran his pale fingers through my hair.

His fingers dried my tears as I pulled away, and as my heart began to race, I badly blushed. I hesitantly allowed him some room and inquired, "I apologize for not having introduced myself. What is yours, I'm Y/N?"

His left hand still held his tack and showed it to me, "I'm Tack. Pleasure to meet you."

What an odd name...

~~~

(I watched the Princess and the Cobbler. I know he is mute in other movies, but that shit is hard to describe and I'm lazy too)

Follow me at my Wattpad: MintB0w

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Dating Pietro Maximoff

Reader: female

Type:headcannons + short scenarios

Notes: Im gonna start writing for more marvel characters

Warnings: none

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You met him on a mission,

A mission where he tried to take out your partner aka Clint

"You didn't see that comin-"

And now he's being choked out by some buff chick suddenly.

Note to self: stop being cocky

He's thrown against a tree and groaning

So you both didnt meet on sweet terms at first...

He's impressed by you, and he's even more impressed that he can't find you after you basically manhandled him.

Do you have superspeed? No. No nothing like that

You're just that fricken good.

But when you're face to face with god its on

How you keep up with his superspeed with forever be a mystery to him.

The urge to just. MHM smash your face in but also kiss you is strong for him.

So imagine how flirty he tried to be when he sees you at Stark Industries

Not to mention you give Tony a hard time and he loves it

Remember he falls down that glass floor? Yeah well, he got cut.

So you're the one to fix him up, you know being the field medic as stuff.

"Had anyone ever told you how pretty you are, you know? up close"

"My dad'll kill you if he hears you saying that."

"I'll take that risk."

Well shit he hooked you with that one sentence

Saving each other on the battlefield for real.

back to back, fighting

Pietro getting injured badly and you carrying him on your back to safety

"I am gonna die doc- Shit-"

"No, but bullets out of your stomach now."

Luckily you got him back safe and sound.

And everyone's alive, yay

"Let me take you on a date for keepin' me alive."

You could only laugh, sewing up the rest of the cuts on the Quinjet.

You took him up on that offer after he heals.

He cooked you dinner, some soup from Sokovia

"You like it?"

"Yeah. It's good soup."

You thought it was a pretty fun date; even if it was just you two eating soup on top of Stark building.

You both just started talking about whatever, what you guys like; hobbies and such, and family.

He asked about your dad, and you only shook your head, "My dad, you know it's complicated...I don't see him as much as I like to."

Pietro only nodded, "Family is never easy."

It was a good date, probably the best one you'd ever had, simple and sweet.

You told him you had to go, but you kept sitting there, you both smiling at one another.

"I'm gonna kiss you now" you smile

its the best kiss ever

Dating is great with you guys, you're for sure everyone teases you.

Especially Tony

You'd guys went everywhere together: he was excited to go see things in new york with you

He loves pizza, especially in hole-in-the-wall places.

He likes hole-in-the-wall places in general, which seem cozier and more romantic.

And if you're guys on seperate missions you better be sure it feels lonely all the sudden.

Steve's kinda stepped into the dad roll for you: he's always sweet and ask how you're doing and asking how you and Pietro are doing.

He even had a father daughter possible son in law dinner with you and pietro,

You both takes alot of naps together.

You guys sleep together in general,

Yes you're the big spoon, he likes when you rub your fingers through his hair

Long kisses after missions where you havent seen him for so long are a must

You love his accent, especially after not hearing it for so long.

"You okay?" Y/n asked him, holding his face,

"Im fine. I'm okay." Pietro nodded, he holding her her wrist comforting, theres a cut across his temple and a forming bruise on his cheek, another cut across his nose.

Y/n hugs him, she was so worried, he can only hug back, kissing her head in response.

You'll try and stay in bed with him the whole day he's recovering.

Getting him anything he needs, changing any bandages.

When you're injured he has a hard time sleeping, he'd hate to lose you in any way shape, or form.

When you're both injured you just knock out together.

Is Stark having a fancy party?

You're matching, you have to, no comment: either you guys have matching schemes, or you have matching ties, maybe just matching rings

He can get jealous, especially of Guys, especially the ones who look at you for a long ass time and then come over and you entertain them

You only ever do it to be nice at first, you know: "Hi how are you" type of stuff

Pietro no matter what comes up behind you kiss your shoulder he'll ask you if everything alright

The guy usually backs off as Pietro introduces himself as an Avenger

If they don't- well, Pietro usually rushes and suddenly there's a fresh drink in your hand and a bowl of candy at the speed of light, "My love."

Now they're really running. Hah...running

At parties he loves dancing with you, he'll take it slow just for you

As said: he may run fast, but loves slow dancing with you like an old married couple.

It's not even the waltz or ballroom, or any of those slow dances: it's just rocking back and forth, going in a circle

He loves kissing you when you slow dance, he's really just so in love with you

and he looks at you that way in small moments, you just being you, makes him happy seeing you smile.

[junniepop]

JJK men and a male reader

So I died and came back. Now my inbox is filled with a lot of Jujutsu Kaisen stuff with a male reader, so I looked around and noticed there aren't a lot of male writers or even gender neutral ones, meaning that's what I'll be doing for awhile. This first request is...

before I get started, if you'd like to request something, then please see my masterlist

JJK boys with a male s/o

Warnings: aged up and language oh and some nsfw stuff cuz that's what they wanted.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, T. Aoi

I. Yuuji

Isn't hung up by you being male, I feel as Yuuji got older, the more open minded he became. His sexuality was something that evolved as he aged and had a big change in his mid teenage years when he was exploring himself. Into his late teens he began seeing people of all types of representation, he simply did not care how they presented themselves.

That leads us to you, our gorgeous male that has Yuuji simping. All seriousness, this man loves entirely, some might even find it to be smothering. He is the type to text you paragraphs of good morning and goodnight texts, always leaving something for you to eat in the fridge, brings something home because it reminded him of you, and always always makes time to call you before a mission.

Yuuji always has random thoughts about you. Like, "Should I make his favorite tonight?" "I wonder what he's doing." "Oh....that would look so cute on him, should I get it?" "AH this charm has our initials on it! that means it was meant to be!"

If you're a sorcerer, Yuuji d e m a n d s to be your partner on missions and he will have a fit if someone says no. Is constantly stressing himself out over your well being, even if he knows you can handle yourself. always asking about your technique and is amazed every time he sees it. Very protective, stands in front of you a lot and when he see's you struggling he doesn't hesitate to get the curse's attention regardless of his own situation.

Also just because I feel like he would: Yuuji gave you a promise ring when he realized you were the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He has this need to prove to you that he is a fit partner, Like showing you he can cook, has his own place, very responsible with his money and what not.

The type of guy to send you a million snaps a day. He will literally show you everything he did that day and wants the same in return.

Every date with him somehow includes a physical activity. Going out to dinner? chances are Yuuji will see an arcade and more specifically the DDR in the background.

NSFW

In terms of sexual stuff, Yuuji seems like a top, but has definitely thought about bottoming and upon trying it- was not into it. Does not matter if you're much bigger than him or not, he will top you. However, Yuuji is rather submissive when it comes to his partner, he will say yes to whatever it is you want. You want him to be soft and gentle, he'll do it. You want him to absolutely wreck your ability to walk, he'll do it.

The first time Yuuji tried stuff with a guy, he for sure looked up if it would hurt and read that anal could be very painful, was TERRIFIED that he would hurt the guy. Definitely was asking with every movement if he was okay. With you he's more confident, but still askes if you're okay throughout the event.

Man is simple, likes very intimate positions where he can see your face. Heavily into pleasing you, he tries any kinks you're into even if he's not that into it. Loves being praised, it just does something to his brain, in that same line- any sounds you make go straight to his dick. Really enjoys marking, is proud to cover you in them too.

The type of guy to enjoy eating you out, like fully sit on his face. Plus it helps his dick slide in smoother.

Yuuji will lose his mind if you say you want to milk him. Yuuji usually never thinks about his own pleasure, so when you want to pleasure him until he's empty, mans is not readyyyy. Just stutters out an okay and proceeds to go stupid when you start.

Conclusion

Yuuji loves you entirely. Trusts you 100% and would do anything to keep your life stable and happy. Yuuji just wants to grow old with you tbh, so in love with the idea.

If you were to break up with him, he would be devastated, unable to continue on for a long time. I mean he placed his everything into you, why would you do this to him?

all in all, it is a very stable relationship as long as you don't take him for granted because he is prone to letting people use him.

F. Megumi

Definitely did not care you were male. Megumi cares about a person's mentality, their goals and dreams, the way a person carries themselves. When Megumi met you, he found you quite attractive, your drive is what lured him in and from there his feelings developed.

Megumi is subtle in showing his affection. Little touches here, sticky notes meant just for you, always carrying 'extra' snacks. It actually might take you awhile to notice his affections for you, simply because it is so subtle. Megumi seems like the person to wait until you confess. However. Megumi would confess if he gets pushed to or knows he won't get rejected.

Once he confesses, his love is soft and soothing with a hint of awkwardness. Megumi in the beginning would be showing affection through words and small acts of service, always telling you how much he appreciates you and doing things for you. Some of these things would be things like picking up snacks for you, doing your laundry, leaving you some of his clothes. He likes to do these things without you knowing because I think it lessens the embarrassment he feels doing it.

Even if you are in a long term relationship with him, he always gets flustered by you. Megumi is naturally reserved, so telling him I love you with sincerity will cause him to malfunction. Poor boy freezes and stutters around his words while avoiding eye contact.

Now, physical contact in this relationship is a tell tale sign of how much Megumi trusts you and loves you. Megumi is the type of person to reserve physical touch for someone he completely trusts, so with you, this will let you know his true feelings.

Touch would start with closeness at first, just grazing hands or bumping knees, but would develop into hours of intimate cuddling because he's touched starved. KISSING, oh my lord- his kisses tell you everything he feels. so intense, no matter how soft he kisses you.

if you're a sorcerer, Megumi is the type to go on missions with you, but doesn't complain if he can't go with you. However, worries a lot and contemplates going after you. Unlike Yuuji, who would go to literal war, Megumi trusts your strength a lot. The only time he is like yuuji is against a particularly strong curse. Loves fighting together though, it shows how much you trust him.

NSFW

Megumi gives me verse energy. Like he was a top for a long time, asked you if he could bottom once and was surprisingly into it. So now when the mood arises, its whatever you guys are in the mood for. You guys often take turns.

His first time was with you- Megumi just seems like a late bloomer and you were the only person he did stuff with. He's very gentle because he knows it can be painful, I think sexually his fear is not being good enough for you, so give him as much reassurance as you can.

Now this boy is rather kinky despite his personality. Loves when you beg, drives him mad to hear your pleas and whimpers. Likes the pain of you needing something to hold onto when he tops which results in scratches down his back and the pulling of his hair. Doesn't think condoms are necessary because you're the only person for him in his eyes- aka likes breeding. When he bottoms, he enjoys riding and wants to see your face as he does. Do not get it twisted though, he's very much into you messing him up and railing him.

SEND THIS BOY NUDES. DO IT. Mans will sprint home if he has to. Don't do it too often or he'll get used to it. Maybe like once every two-ish weeks. Or better yet do it while he's on a mission. Megumi always tries to answer you, so expecting something serious, he short circuits when its just a pic of you in some underwear he thought he ripped the last time you guys were intimate.

Conclusion

Shy boy into some kinky things with his partner. It might take him some time to develop a deep relationship with you because he's scared you'll leave, but as long as you provide him the security he needs, he'll stay by your side indefinitely.

If you were to break up with him, you're just like his dad in his eyes and the betrayal would result in him locking many people out. Unlike Yuuji, who's emotions pour out of him, many wouldn't know Megumi is barely scrapping by.

G. Satoru

Gojo doesn't give a rats ass how you present yourself, he lives by the motto "a hole's a hole." What truly would make Gojo invest in more than casual hooking up is your personality. Gojo needs someone who doesn't need him and doesn't care about who he is in the sorcerer world. Someone like that would capture his eye rather quick and this man is like "Eh? I'm GOJO SATORU, you know top dog?" and you would just blink and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Shows off so much trying to impress you. "ne ne (Y/n) did you see me squash that special grade into dust?" *sigh* "Yes Gojo, I also saw you split one into a thousand pieces and turn another into a ball." so unamused by his abilities.

The one time he saw amazement cross your features is when he was playing the piano (I feel Gojo's other talents were never looked at and everyone saw him as this god like being, all he wants is someone to look at other things he can do.) and his heart skipped a beat. Because his first goal was just get into your pants, he was quite surprised you were more interested in his normal talents. This is where he begins showing you his real side, still a teasing man child, but he begins asking you about your interests and seeing what you have in common.

The more he learns, the harder it is for him to find a way not to commit to you. You see Gojo subconsciously looks for a reason to leave, he hates being tied down and is super flighty. Then there's you, ticking all his boxes without even knowing it. There's only been one person to do that.

So he takes a leap and goes for it. He's still scared that he'll get burned like last time, but he's willing to try.

One of the requirements to being with Gojo is you need to be strong in your own right. Gojo is an extremely powerful man with many enemies, so his partner must be able to handle themselves. Being a sorcerer, Gojo would B E G you to go with him on literally every single mission and would throw the biggest tantrum until you say yes. Sometimes when he's being particularly childish, he'll stop fighting the curses to watch you do it. "You can do it (Y/n)-chan, if you win I'll give you kisses." Takes everything in your power not to launch your technique right at him as he sits there with his shit-eating grin.

This man in the beginning of your relationship is immediately extremely handsy. Just all up on you all the time, but little do you know is, this is really a protective measure for when you're out of the house. At home, he's still handsy, but you can just feel how different it is. He'll come and fall asleep on you, stand behind you when you're doing your skincare routine, always following you around the house.

Overtime, you'll become his place to rest when he needs to recharge. You're the only time Gojo gets a break from being at the top. It makes you wonder if he ever truly gets to be normal.

Overall, Gojo's love is deceptively delicate because his personality is quite childish, he uses it as a mask to hide how he's really feeling. So you might think everything is going swimmingly until he ups and leaves you. Once he starts showing you that real side of him, that's when you have him wrapped around your finger.

NSFW

This man is incredibly horny. His stamina is very high and he's very kinky. Gojo is a dominant verse whore. It doesn't matter if he's taking or giving, he's always in control. Honey you were not first and you might not be the last, this man is very confident in pleasuring you.

Gojo like I said, is incredibly kinky. He enjoys degrading you, overstimulating you until you beg him to stop, he wants to break you and make you only crave him. Seriously, you might want to think about a safe word because this man won't stop until you're not even speaking coherent sentences. In saying that there are somethings that you can try (key word 'try') to do to make him lose his mind. One of those things is a blowjob, his dick is incredibly sensitive in certain areas, so he'll become a mind-numbed mess if you're good enough. Another is softly begging in his ear and saying how he's the only one who makes you feel this way aka call him your god in bed and he'll bust right then and there.

Phone sex. Legit will call you if you guys haven't been together for a few days and all you hear are his whines and groans. "Guess what I'm doing cutie~"

THIS MAN- you're never safe to answer your phone because one time you opened the snap and it was him lazily jacking his dick. You have a small heart attack every time the notif is a snap from Gojo, just praying you can open it in public and 9/10 you can't.

The type of guy to get handsy in public places. Just in your ear like "Baby pleeeeasssseeeee can we fuck in public, I promise you'll still be able to walk when I'm done."

Conclusion

Gojo is a rollercoaster of a relationship that needs it's rider to be okay with a lot of distance for awhile and sudden disappearances. Without the right criteria, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If you were to break up with him, he would immediately sleep with as many people as he can to numb himself from the pain of having a hole ripped right through him. He'd go back to that childish personality, but you can feel the edge in his words despite his tone.

N. Kento

Nanami gives me 'gave up on the sex of my partner ages ago' energy. Like he has tried relationships with a lot of people and realized all people suck. So you being a man means nothing to him, you just have to prove to him you're not shitty like everyone else.

The type of guy that takes you out on proper dates in the beginning. It's usually dinner because of his job, but sometimes he'll ask you to lunch. Nanami will bring you small gifts like flowers or Knick knacks he thought you'd like.

Nanami likes someone a little younger than himself, probably around 23-24, they still have that idealistic thought process but with realistic foundations. He likes someone who can be serious, but still enjoys things like joyrides or going out bowling.

Nanami is a very uptight guy, so you're going to have to work to get him to relax. When you do, this is when he starts to see you as long time partner rather than someone who is just for fun. Literally goes from stick up his ass, to a big softie that just wants to curl up in bed with you. He'll start smiling more and doing intimate things like bathing together.

Nanami would probably rather have someone outside the sorcerer world so he doesn't have to think about work when he sees you. He wouldn't complain if you were though, gives him a lot less to worry about since he knows you can handle yourself. Doesn't even stress when you go on missions by yourself, he respects your strength.

NSFW

Now Nanami is moderately kinky. He's definitely a top and will not change. He's into ddlb (dom daddy and little boy for my innocents out there.) Very much into control and making you take it, he's not one for brats and will tame that shit right out of you. Doesn't need a safe word, he's very good at gauging your reactions. Really really into deep throating and you better learn how to breathe or you'll be struggling. Likes breeding, so he would be glad you can't have children.

Conclusion

Nanami’s love is traditional and straight forward. He likes routine to a certain degree and that degree ends at stable relationship, everything else is not that fun without a level of risk to him, but he likes that when he comes home, you'll be right there.

if you were to break up with him, Nanami would sigh and say he told himself so. He's hurt, but it'll solidify that people are still and always will be shitty.

R. Sukuna

Sukuna does not do love. period. The only way I could see him giving notice to someone is if they are powerful, someone who can bring him amusement. Sukuna only does thing for his own entertainment end of discussion.

I’m going to be using post-Yuuji Sukuna, so he’s restricted by Yuuji himself and can’t outright cause chaos at all times. This way Sukuna has to spend more time with people than he’d like to, normally he would just kill something once he’s bored, but now he has to deal with them.

Noticed your technique through Yuuji and was amused, much like Megumi, he thought your curse technique had a lot of potential to be devastating. As Yuuji spent more time with you, Sukuna began noticed more things about you, like that you cooked better than Yuuji, were extremely versatile in battle with your technique and so on.

The type to notice your attraction to him and act on it. He can’t really do much since he’s in Yuuji’s body, so he’s going to work with what he’s got. Didn’t care if you’re male or female, he just likes a strong partner so he can go harder during sex.

Your relationship would start with being his toy, something to bring him pleasure that is all. With Sukuna, you must both respect him and not fear him. He’s very big on respect and trust, but hates when someone he views as ‘important’ fears him because they’ll betray him the second they can. Everyone else can fear him, he doesn’t care.

Sukuna is also highly unpredictable and unstable, be prepared for death at a moments notice tbh. He’ll kill you if he feels like it. In a deeper relationship, Sukuna is a hard pressed tsundere, saying things quite harshly. Saying things like, “Here brat, I don’t need you breaking just yet.” “Dumbass, that curse was stronger than you.” “I took care of them because you’re weak.”

Trust between Sukuna and you is a game of high stakes chess, one wrong move and you’re nothing but trash to him. However, succeed in earning his trust and you’ll be rewarded with a loyal man. Though Sukuna hates showing vulnerability, so he’ll treat you the same in public places that he would treat anyone else. Alone, he’s alright with whatever as long as it doesn’t annoy him.

Surprisingly protective. He’ll kill curses he deems are a problem to you or rip a person limb from limb if he found a hair missing from your head. Doesn’t understand why you don’t let him handle it, he’s way stronger than you.

Is almost never soft with you unless he’s extremely tired or just waking up. Holding you as close as he can and telling you not to go. Don’t bring it up either, he’ll end you if you tell anyone.

Will never tell you, but likes touching you, you’re very soft compared to him. He’s the type of guy to have callous from years of fight and doesn’t really care about his skin to much because he’s a God in his eyes.

Would rather surrender himself to a church than admit he gets slightly giddy when you remember small details about him. Like this man has a lot of history, so when you know a tiny random detail about him, his non-existent heart shutters a little.

Nsfw

This man is extremely kinky during sex. I pray for your well being because honestly I don’t know if you’re going to live through sex with him. A dom top period, that last person to even insinuate they could top him was added to his innate domain permanently.

He’s into completely dominating you and make sure you know he owns you. B I G into impact play, slapping you a lot until you’re a beautiful red. Degrading and humiliating you, honestly would let people watch so they know that you’re his property.

Actually really likes his partner to be a brat, man loves breaking you and turning you into a submissive bunny just for him. Honestly he just likes pushing people beyond their limits, like really into emotional play, he wants to see your expressions when he does something. Ooo objectification, will use you like a foot stool and sit on you. Man in general will work you hard.

In saying all that, immaculate aftercare because he knows your mind is too far gone to remember him being this caring and soft for you. Literally bathes you and gets you into bed curled up on him. Also makes sure your body didn’t sustain a lot of damage during sex.

Do. Not. Taunt. Sukuna. It will not end well. “Huuuh? You think you can handle more little boy?” Eyes narrowed and smile too tight. You’ve awoken the beast and he’s not going to leave anything unbroken.

Conclusion

Sukuna’s love is... well a bike ride through hell? To be honest you’ll never know if he loves you. Everything about him is highly unpredictable and dangerous, you could end up as worm food in seconds.

Breaking up with Sukuna... you’re joking right? You don’t have the balls to tell a man who could split you into a million pieces with a flick of the wrist, you’re breaking up with him , right?

Seriously he’ll kill you, no hesitation. It’s either realize you’re stuck with him or die. I think most people would assume he never cared at first, but he did care and now you want to leave him? Absolutely not. He set everything down for you and he’ll be damned if he lets you live without him.

T. Aoi

(First and foremost- why is it so hard to find Toudou headers.)

Okay, I’m sorry but Toudou to me is a straight guy, so I can’t really see him with a male. But, if it were to happen, I think it would go like this:

Being childhood friends with Toudou, you were used to his eccentric personality and sometimes extreme antics.

This man is EXTREMELY comfortable with you. You guys grew up together, so some of the things you guys do together would definitely be seen as way too much for friends. I’m talking sharing the same bed, bathing together, using each other’s things without permission. To you guys, you’ve been doing this since you were little, so neither of you think twice.

I think there would be a trigger that would make Toudou realize he’s more into you than being friends. Like maybe someone flirting with you, he’d at first think he’s being replaced as a friend, but it’s much deeper than that. Definitely debates in his head about what he’s feeling toward you. After going back and forth with his type of girl in his head, he’ll come to terms with it.

This is when he’ll start noticing things he’s never payed that much attention to before. Things like how small you’re compared to him, the way clothes fitted to your body, how pretty you actually were and most important difference- how he’s never noticed you have the fattest ass he’s ever seen.

Seriously this man’s sexuality went from women to women + you.

Toudou isn’t the type to wait either, as soon as he knows how he feels, he confesses. He’s the type of guy to say “take it or leave it, that is how I feel.”

You kinda just stand there. Like, huh? Toudou are you feeling okay? Have- have you been cursed? There’s no way, Toudou middle name pussy pounder Aoi just said he was into you romantically... right?

After the shock, you reciprocated his feelings and began dating.

Now, this man- S U P E R affectionate and devoted. Always wanting to hold hands or link arms. He loves cuddling and playing with your hair while you sleep on him. Puddy in your hands if you give him a massage.

Toudou is immensely dedicated. He knows your favorite foods down to the amount of salt you use on your fries, knows what sizes you prefer for hoodies, shirts, button ups and so on, and this man knows your favorite movies by heart.

He’s the type to buy you something simply because you said it was starting to give you problems.

Lovvvvessss dates. I mean he’s a hopeless romantic, he wants to take you on really cheesy dates that you’d see honeymoon couples go on.

The type to want to match clothing or jewelry.

If you’re a sorcerer, he’s wanting to train everyday, he likes seeing you in action. Double points if you can match him in strength too. He respects your strength enough to not worry about you, he’s confident in his S/o’s abilities.

NSFW

Top. Enough said. Ok but seriously, he wants to clap you cheeks so bad.

Toudou has the biggest size kink too, I’m talking like he’s the type to point right at your navel and say “I’m right here baby~ can you feel me filling you?”

His definitely into railing. His favorite position is the mating press, allows him to hit deeply and as hard as he wants.

Lovesss when you whine and beg. He wants to see how much you can take before your begging him to let you cum.

The type of guy to leave your ass a nice reddish purple color. Just two big ass hand prints on you ass and hips.

✨i m m a c u l a t e✨ aftercare. It’s almost like he’s worshipping you when he’s cleaning you up and making sure you’re taken care of.

Conclusion

Being with Toudou is like being with an Aries, he’s high energy and can get easily bored. He enjoys someone who excites him both mentally and physically. Loves a challenge. Toudou’s love is like a concentrated ball of sunlight, it’s hot and bright. He’s overly devoted to you and tells you how much you mean to him all the time.

If you break up with him, he’s the type to hold his head high until he’s alone and then he breaks down, crying into his hands. Thinking, “Was I too much?” “Maybe I wasn’t enough?” He’s confident, but he’s still a person with insecurities.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Undiagnosed Autism-spectrum disorder in The Michells Vs The Machines

I'm sure that more well educated people have put two and two together in this film but I really, really want to put my own spin on it from my experience. For me, as an aspie, film is one of my biggest interests. I love studying and more than anything I love watching and rewatching films. My latest favorite movie was one that I just watched last night for my family movie night, The Michells Vs The Machines. I also went 17 years of my life asking myself the same question that both Rick and his daughter ask each other, what is wrong with him/her?

Well, I'll tell you, in my firmly undiagnosed autistic opinion for far too long, that this family is full of people with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. When I was watching it with my parents my mom made the comment that "the dad was a jerk" and maybe "he just didn't love his daughter enough to let her be her own person." I thought that was so not seeing the bigger picture even though it was only fifteen minutes into the film. I have felt like Katie so much with my own dad. My dad is a computer nerd and a physics major for those of you that don't talk to me very often. That means in laminas terms that he's extremely smart. Way smarter than I will ever be in my entire life. Both of my parents are insanely smart in their own rights. My mom is a CPA accountant. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about here. I want to discuss the effect of undiagnosed autism and what it can do to a whole family when they all have it and just don't know that they do. This will probably go on for quite some time so you may stop here or read below the cut because this also has the probablity of getting super, duper personal.

We'll start with Katie! To me, Katie is one of the most relatable characters that I have ever come across. She's a film nerd, which alone has made her supremely relatable as somebody who is thinking about going into a degree in film studies. I am more of a critic of film than somebody who wants to make her own film but nonetheless, there were SO many little moments that I related to. The first thing that I personally noticed and related to was the stimming technique that Katie has. She chews on her hoodie strings. As somebody who has chewed on the drawstrings of hoodies far too often long before I was officially put into the Aspergers box. Aspies are also known to stick with one "special interest" for the rest of their lives if it's one that is wide enough and varied enough to make it applicable. For Katie, that's film. For me that's animation. I appreciated that little detail of most of her dialogue being references to other films because as a lover of films and movies in general I could go for days on just fumes and movie references that nobody else understands. The little things from her hair being perpetually messy (same that's a whole ass mood like I just learned over quarantine how to tye my own hair back), only having one earring in her ear at all times, the way that she dresses and draws on her own hands, this was just me when I was first in high school. I was one of the few people that wore shorts underneath all my skirts/dresses. Everyone who knew about looked at me like I had grown a third eyeball.

Aaron, the younger brother, also just oozes spectrum lil buddy out of his every pore from his being. I do think that they should have picked somebody capable of doing a bit of a younger sounding voice (I know what they were going for, but like Ben Schwartz has become a huge deal in both voice acting and live action before switching mediums.) His special interest is actually quite a common one, he loves dinosaurs. I've met a bunch of people on the spectrum that are fascinated by dinos and what they meant for the world as well as the universe as a whole. To me, there was one scene specifically that was the scene where Katie was lightly teasing him when they were going to the half assed dinosaur extravaganza. For me, this was SO relatable because both of my parents will mess with me about my interests most of the time it's when we go to Disneyland, they'll tell me that we actually aren't going to land of magic but to Timbuckto (hopefully one day they'll say some place else just to switch things up.) I related so hard to Aaron's protesting and whining in this scene since that is always my reaction to doing something that I want to do but get told that I can't do that thing.

Linda is more of your traditional mom but I think that she's on the spectrum as well. Just a more... normalized version as opposed to her family. She's able to be a teacher, she's able to interact somewhat normally around her neighbors. If anything, she reminded me of my own mom. This independent, takes nobody's trash (especially not her husband's), strong minded, and amazing mother who is completely in control of everything. She knows the special interests of her children and is constantly thinking of what will make them happy. Whether it be taking a detour for something dinosaur related, reminding her daughter that her dad loves her no matter what, and even something as simple as watching something that her daughter made and put her heart and soul into. I can't tell you how many times my mom has watched something with me. She watched my first anime Soul Eater with me when I was 12 and ever since then has been trying to get me to watch other shows with her. She's a lot like Linda, your loving, but firm mother who just wants her family to work things out.

Whew boy. This one is going to be probably where I cry. Comparing my dad to Rick is... something that I did consistently when I was watching the film. He's the strong but silent type usually, unless your me and he's just this constant annoyance when I'm trying to do something. He could be seen as just a "Jerk" but I think that is the undiagnosed aspie talking. Rick and Katie just struggle so hard to see eye to eye because their special interests can't intersect to save their lives. This, this hurt me because so often I struggle to relate to my dad. Especially when he talks to me about computers or physics. Now I took physics but without having been in quarantine and having him as my live in tutor I would have failed, not gotten an A. This has resulted me in saying things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment when we do argue. It doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to back when I was in middle school but when it happened it was because of one thing. I lied. I used to lie a lot because I felt so unworthy of being his daughter because on my best days I am not technically smart. You want to know how many nations of the world there were in 1991 when the original Animaniacs was airing? You want to hear my Dot Warner impression? Did you ever wonder how to recognize a specific voice when your watching anime? Have you ever had to watch a panel of your favorite anime voice actor just to laugh at something? No, well I did. But ever since I have started taking a quarter off from community college I have realized something. I am not technically smart. I struggle at learning the rules for math. My dad can do this with his eyes closed but me, I struggle and look like a complete moron. It took years for my dad and I to see eye to eye. Sometimes I still wonder if I was the product of some laboratory experiment of what would happen if two intelligent people came together, fell in love, and expecting that the daughter was smart I was the reject. Watching this movie with my dad I saw so much of my relationship with him on the screen. Struggling to relate to one another, fighting and getting into arguments about petty things, and not being able to be in the same room as one another without heated words because I didn't get him.

The scene that I related to the most when it was in terms of how much Katie just doesn't understand her dad was after he was nabbed by the machines. When Aaron asked her why she said those things to their dad and her simple answer was "I don't know." This. This right here was when I saw me. So many times I've gotten into heated arguments with my dad when he has simply annoyed me at the wrong time and I've just blown up in his face. Then I regret my actions and not know how to apologize for losing my temper with him because "I don't know" just doesn't seem like a nearly acceptable answer. I felt this in my soul because it happened especially often before I was diagnosed.

When I was diagnosed, things started to get better with my dad and I. We haven't had a fight in nearly four years now. He watches cartoons with me now to try and relate to me, it's mostly Pinky and The Brain but it's more than I could have ever asked for. I love my dad so much, more than anything in the entire world. This movie is so, so good at telling a story about how a family of undiagnosed aspie's and people on the spectrum struggle to relate to one another because their special interests are different.

Special interests and family's are especially difficult and I applaud this movie so loud because of the way that it was able to treat the subject matter with integrity and honesty. I'm sorry if this analysis got a little bit long in the toof but thank you for sticking with me! I really hope that if you watched the film you loved my analysis.

[wh6res]

UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic. 

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane." 

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears. 

"bitch," you mutter under your breath. 

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again. 

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?" 

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway. 

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?" 

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him. 

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath. 

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement. 

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year. 

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her. 

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" 

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living. 

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing." 

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done. 

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way. 

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement. 

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears. 

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend. 

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word. 

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel. 

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode. 

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information. 

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics. 

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve. 

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too. 

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today  —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?" 

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind. 

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head. 

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest. 

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!" 

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys. 

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history." 

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said. 

"do you really want to know why?" 

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart. 

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss. 

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone. 

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment. 

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day. 

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor. 

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down. 

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud. 

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand. 

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't… 

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper. 

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused. 

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going. 

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back. 

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video. 

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers. 

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples. 

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration. 

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin. 

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day. 

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder. 

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp. 

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time. 

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside. 

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home. 

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off. 

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung. 

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him. 

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with. 

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it...  but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you. 

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob. 

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face. 

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

[asnowperson]

Luciana's Tears by Kasuya Noriko (1976)

I am questioning why I even bought a random magazine issue from 1976, but well, let's turn it into a contribution to shoujo history.

28 August 1976 issue of Weekly Shoujo Comic's Flower Deluxe edition has a 51-page story titled Luciana no Namida (ルチアーナの涙 - Luciana's Tears) by Kasuya Noriko. Even googling it didn't give me much results, and her fan site says that this story was never compiled in a tankoubon, so beware, we are very likely getting into the forgotten shoujo titles territory. The said fan site has a much better summary, you can check it out (in JP).

Story by Kuni Kazue (邦一恵)

This manga piqued my interest because it looked like the story was taking place in Renaissance Italy, something I realized how much I liked after recently watching the 1968 adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.

So, the story is set in 15th century Italy. In the Duchy of Ferrara, to be more exact. The Duke, Ercole (very likely this guy), marries a 17-year-old girl. Of course, this is a political marriage. Everyone pities the new bride as she had to marry a man over 40, but she tries her best to be a good wife and to find love in her marriage. However, Ercole is cold towards her and spends his nights away from home.

The Duke has three sons, each born from a different mistress of his: Giulio, Pesaro and Roberto. Ercole favors his eldest, Giulio, and names him as his heir much to the chagrin of Pesaro. The latter gets even more annoyed watching his elder brother be on friendly terms with their "mother" who is pretty much the same age as them. One day, Pesaro goes to her to tell that his father has at least 20 mistresses that he knows of, a fact Giulio had been hiding from her to protect her, just to torment her.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me~ Kiss the haha-ue.

Luciana is devastated, but tries to remain strong. In her moment of weakness, his "son" kisses her, further confusing her heart.

Despite her grief, she stands firm and says that she won't take his husband into her bed until he cuts ties with all the other chicks. But surprise: Ercole is indeed impressed by her gall, and breaks up with her mistresses to be with his waifu. However, Luciana refuses her again because this time around, her heart already belongs to Giulio!

Pesaro doesn't take long to notice this illicit affair, and snitches on them to his father. Duke Ercole is furious, and imprisons them both in his fancy towers. He doesn't want to blame and kill his precious son, he implores him to put the blame and Luciana and say that she seduced him, but Giulio insists that all blame lies with him. In a final effort to save him, Ercole secretly sends word to his son to flee to Venice before their lovers' execution at dawn.

This is the face of a man true to his word: "Luciana, I promised that I would follow you anywhere you go, even if it costs me my life..."

On the morning of the execution, Luciana is acting all smug with her "I regret nothing" face. Her face is also giving me that "hehe, I fucked you're son" vibe, but no one remembers Goro memes anymore, so I'll probably be alone on this.

As Luciana is beheaded, Guilio commits suicide in his cell. The Duke is shooketh. Pesaro, who caused this tragedy, leaves home and no one ever hears of him again. Ercole orders the two lovers to be buried side by side. As their lifeless bodies are being taken to the catacombs, Luciana's nanny notices that, although they have forever lost their light, there are tears trickling down from her lady's eyes... Ayyy, title drop!

The sad tale of these young lovers is told all over Italy for many years to come... FINE

This was a very simple, yet very shoujo story. What I liked the most is the fact that Kasuya never dragged things out in the pages she's been given. We all read all the famous/successful titles from the 1970s, but reading stuff like this really gives you a sense of what was popular during that period of time and makes you feel like a little girl who got the latest shoujo magazine with her allowance. More known works all have something they do differently, which becomes the standard later on, and that means those were not the standard back then. So it's nice to read random manga like this one to have an idea about state of the shoujo manga scene of that time.