#“Because we have lost our power to create

[gojonegs]

Eternal Promise: A Tale of Love and Loss.

synopsis: In the enchanting world of 'Eternal Promise: A Tale of Love and Loss,' Y/N, a spirited sorcerer, shares a deep and joyful bond with Satoru, her beloved partner. Together, they navigate life's ups and downs with laughter and love, their shared dreams weaving a tapestry of hope for the future. But it all changes quickly when tragedy strikes, shattering their idyllic existence and plunging them into a world of grief and despair. Through the lens of their once vibrant relationship, 'Eternal Promise explores the transformative power of love in the face of life's most devastating challenges.

wc: 4.8k

warning: fluff to angst to fluff! Happy ending anyway enjoy.

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In the bustling halls of Jujutsu High School, amidst the chaos of students and teachers bustling about, Satoru Gojo and I shared a quiet moment together, our fingers intertwined as we sat on a bench in the courtyard.

The warm afternoon sun cast dappled shadows through the trees, creating a serene atmosphere that enveloped us in a cocoon of tranquility. It was a rare moment of peace amidst our hectic lives as Jujutsu sorcerers, and we savored every precious second of it.

Satoru's eyes gleamed mischievously as he glanced at me, a playful grin spreading across his face. "You know, Y/N, they say love is like jujutsu: unpredictable, powerful, and sometimes it makes you want to scream into the void."

I chuckled softly, leaning my head against his shoulder. "You've definitely mastered the art of charming metaphors, Satoru," I replied, my voice tinged with amusement.

Satoru's grin widened, his gaze softening as he looked at me. "Only because I have the most inspiring muse," he said, his tone sincere.

I felt my cheeks flush at his words, a warm fluttering sensation spreading through my chest. "You always know just what to say, don't you?" I said, unable to hide the affection in my voice.

Satoru shrugged casually, but I could see the hint of pride in his eyes. "What can I say? It's a gift," he quipped, earning a playful shove from me.

As we sat together, lost in the comfort of each other's presence, the rest of the world seemed to fade away. In that moment, it was just Satoru and me, two souls intertwined in a bond that defied all logic and reason.

And as we sat there, basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as I had Satoru by my side, I could face anything with courage and grace.

We remained there for what felt like an eternity, content to simply be in each other's company, our fingers laced together as if nothing else in the world mattered. The sounds of the bustling school faded into the background, replaced by the gentle rustling of leaves and the soft whispers of the breeze.

With each passing moment, I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the warmth of Satoru's presence, his easy laughter and infectious charm wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. Despite the blindfold covering his eyes, he exuded an aura of confidence and assurance, as if he could see right through to the depths of my soul.

And as I gazed into the darkness behind his blindfold, I knew that he felt the same way, his unwavering gaze filled with an unspoken affection that spoke volumes more than words ever could. In that shared moment of understanding, we were no longer just two sorcerers bound by duty and destiny; we were partners, confidants, and soulmates.

But even as the outside world continued to spin around us, threatening to intrude upon our sanctuary of peace, we held onto that moment with all our might, unwilling to let it slip away. In each other's arms, we found solace, strength, and a love that transcended time and space.

Eventually, the sounds of approaching footsteps shattered the stillness of our reverie, signaling the end of our moment of respite. With a shared sigh, we reluctantly pulled away from each other, knowing that duty called and we had to answer.

But as we rose to our feet, ready to face whatever challenges awaited us, I knew that no matter what trials lay ahead, as long as I had Satoru by my side, I could conquer them all with unwavering determination and unwavering love.

As we reluctantly rose to our feet, a familiar voice called out to us from across the courtyard. It was Principal Yaga, his imposing figure casting a shadow over the bustling students as he approached.

"Y/N, may I have a word with you?" he asked, his tone serious.

I exchanged a quick glance with Satoru before nodding and following Principal Yaga to a quieter corner of the courtyard.

"What's going on, Principal Yaga?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady despite the growing sense of unease in my stomach.

Principal Yaga sighed heavily, his expression grave. "I've just received word from headquarters. It seems there's been a sighting of a Special Grade curse in the area, and it's causing quite a bit of havoc," he explained.

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of a special grade curse. They were the most dangerous of adversaries, and facing one alone would be a daunting task.

"I'm afraid I have no choice but to assign you to this mission, Y/N," Principal Yaga continued, his voice tinged with regret. "I know it won't be easy, but I trust that you're more than capable of handling it."

I nodded, a sense of determination burning within me. "I won't let you down, Principal Yaga. I'll do whatever it takes to protect the people," I said, my voice echoing with resolve.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Principal Yaga stepped aside, allowing me to make my preparations for the mission ahead. As I walked away, the weight of my impending task hung heavy in the air, but with each step, I knew that I had to face this challenge head-on, for the sake of those who relied on me.

As I returned to where Satoru was waiting, his expression immediately shifted to one of concern. "What did Principal Yaga want?" he asked, his tone laced with worry.

Taking a deep breath, I met his gaze, trying to convey a sense of determination. "There's been a sighting of a Special Grade curse," I began, bracing myself for his reaction. "And Principal Yaga wants me to handle it alone."

Satoru's eyes widened in disbelief, and I could see the anger bubbling beneath the surface. "Alone? Why would he send you on such a dangerous mission by yourself?" He demanded, his voice rising with frustration.

I reached out to lay a hand on his arm, trying to calm his growing agitation. "I know it sounds risky, Satoru, but I believe I can handle it," I said, my voice steady despite the nerves churning in my stomach.

Satoru shook his head, his expression conflicted. "But what if something goes wrong? What if you need backup?" he argued, his concern for me shining through.

I squeezed his arm gently, meeting his gaze with unwavering resolve. "I've trained for this, Satoru. I know the risks, but I also know my abilities," I said, trying to reassure him. "And I promise, if I need help, I'll call for backup. But for now, I need to do this on my own."

Reluctantly, Satoru nodded, his grip tightening around my hand. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Y/N," he said, his voice soft with concern.

I smiled gratefully, grateful for his understanding. "I will, Satoru. I promise," I replied, before turning to make my preparations for the mission ahead.

As I walked away, I couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence, knowing that Satoru believed in me. And as I set off alone to confront the looming threat, I knew that, with his unwavering support, I could face whatever challenges awaited me with courage and determination.

As I ventured forth alone to confront the Special Grade curse, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease gnawing at the edges of my mind. Nevertheless, I pressed on, determined to prove to myself and to Satoru that I was capable of handling the mission.

Upon arriving at the location indicated by Principal Yaga, I found myself facing a seemingly straightforward encounter with a curse. It was a Grade 1 curse, far weaker than what I had anticipated, and I dispatched it with relative ease, my confidence growing with each passing moment.

However, as the dust settled and I prepared to return to the school, a sudden realization struck me like a bolt of lightning. The Grade 1 curse had been nothing more than a distraction—a decoy designed to lure me away while the true threat remained hidden.

My heart raced as I frantically scanned my surroundings, searching for any signs of the real Special Grade curse. And then I saw him, standing before me with a sinister grin, his presence radiating malevolence.

It was Mahito, the cursed spirit that Nanami and Yuji had warned us about. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut, my blood running cold as I faced one of the most dangerous adversaries imaginable.

As Mahito and I faced off, the tension in the air was palpable, each of us poised for battle. With a flick of my wrist, I summoned forth my blood technique, crimson tendrils snaking through the air like serpents, ready to strike.

Mahito's grin widened, a glint of anticipation in his eyes as he prepared to unleash his own curse technique. "Impressive, little sorcerer," he sneered, his voice dripping with malice. "But let's see if you can handle this."

With a wave of his hand, Mahito sent a wave of dark energy hurtling towards me, the sheer force of it threatening to knock me off balance. I gritted my teeth, channeling my energy into a protective barrier as I braced myself for the impact.

The clash of our techniques sent shockwaves rippling through the air, each one vying for dominance in the chaotic battleground. As the dust settled, I could feel the strain of the battle weighing heavily on me, but I refused to back down.

"Is that the best you've got, Mahito?" I taunted, my voice filled with determination. "I expected more from the likes of you."

Mahito's grin faltered, replaced by a scowl of annoyance. "You dare to mock me, human?" he growled, his voice low and menacing. "I'll make you regret those words."

With renewed determination, Mahito launched himself at me, his movements fluid and unpredictable. I met his attack head-on, countering with a flurry of strikes from my blood technique.

The clash of our powers echoed through the air, a symphony of chaos and destruction as we battled for supremacy. With each exchange, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, fueling my every move.

But even as the fight raged on, a sense of unease gnawed at the edges of my mind. Mahito was a formidable opponent, his powers twisting and distorting reality itself. I knew that defeating him would require every ounce of strength and cunning I possessed.

And as the battle reached its climax, with neither of us willing to give ground, I knew that victory was within reach. With one final surge of determination, I unleashed a devastating blow, channeling all of my energy into a single, decisive strike.

But as the dust settled and I prepared to claim my victory, I realized with a sinking feeling in my chest that Mahito was nowhere to be found. He had slipped away in the chaos of battle, leaving behind only a sense of frustration and the lingering echoes of our fierce confrontation.

With a heavy sigh, I knew that our battle was far from over. Mahito may have escaped this time, but I would not rest until I had defeated him once and for all, proving to myself and to Satoru that I was more than capable of facing even the most formidable of foes.

As the dust settled and I prepared to claim victory, a sense of relief washed over me. I had fought Mahito to a standstill, and it seemed that he had finally been defeated. Or so I thought.

With trembling hands, I wiped the sweat from my brow, my heart still pounding in my chest from the intensity of the battle. But as I scanned the area, searching for any sign of Mahito's presence, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

There was no sign of him. No lingering trace of his cursed energy. It was as if he had simply vanished into thin air.

A sense of unease crept over me as I realized the truth. Mahito had slipped away once again, leaving me battered and bruised, but no closer to victory than before.

Just as I turned to leave, a sudden surge of darkness enveloped me from behind, knocking me off balance and sending me sprawling to the ground.

With a gasp of surprise, I turned to face my attacker, only to find Mahito standing over me, a malicious grin on his face. "Did you really think it would be that easy, little sorcerer?" he taunted, his voice dripping with scorn.

My heart raced as I realized my mistake. Mahito had used my momentary distraction to launch a surprise attack from behind, catching me off guard.

But even as the realization sank in, a surge of adrenaline coursed through my veins, fueling my determination to fight on. With every ounce of strength I possessed, I launched myself at Mahito, unleashing a flurry of blows with all the skill and precision I could muster.

The battle that followed was fierce and unforgiving, the odds stacked against me as Mahito unleashed his full fury upon me with relentless ferocity. But I refused to give up, drawing strength from the memory of Satoru's unwavering belief in me.

As the battle reached its climax, I could feel my energy waning, my muscles burning with exhaustion. But still, I pressed on, refusing to back down in the face of adversity.

And then, in a moment of perfect clarity, I saw my opportunity. With a burst of speed and determination, I unleashed a devastating combination of spells, each one aimed with deadly accuracy. Mahito staggered under the onslaught, his defenses faltering for the briefest of moments.

With one final surge of strength, I launched myself at Mahito, delivering a decisive blow that sent him sprawling to the ground.

As I stood over him, panting heavily and covered in sweat, a sense of triumph washed over me. I had defeated Mahito, proving to myself and to Satoru that I was more than capable of facing even the most formidable of foes.

But as I prepared to claim victory, a sudden surge of darkness enveloped me once again, and before I could react, Mahito was standing over me, his grin wider than ever.

"Nice try, little sorcerer," he sneered, his voice filled with malice. "But this battle is far from over."

With a sinking feeling in my chest, I realized that I had been deceived. Mahito had lured me into a false sense of security, allowing me to believe that I had won when, in reality, he had been biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

As darkness closed in around me, I knew that the true battle was only just beginning. And with Mahito as my relentless adversary, the road ahead would be fraught with danger and uncertainty. But I refused to give up hope. With Satoru by my side, I knew that together, we could overcome even the most daunting of challenges.

As darkness closed in around me, memories of happier times flooded my mind, a bittersweet reminder of the moments I cherished most with Satoru.

I remembered the way his laughter echoed through the halls of the school, infectious and full of life. How his easy smile could chase away even the darkest of clouds, filling me with warmth and joy.

I recalled the countless hours we spent training together, his patient guidance and unwavering support pushing me to be the best sorcerer I could be. How his encouraging words never failed to lift my spirits, even in the face of adversity.

And then there were the quiet moments, just the two of us, lost in our own little world. The stolen glances and shy smiles, the whispered conversations that spoke volumes more than words ever could.

As I lay there, battered and broken, these memories became my lifeline, a source of strength and comfort in the darkness. They reminded me of the love and support I had received from Satoru, and the promise of a brighter tomorrow, even in the face of despair.

But just as quickly as they came, the memories faded, replaced once again by the harsh reality of the present. Mahito stood before me, his malicious grin a stark reminder of the danger that lurked just beyond reach.

With a heavy heart, I prepared to face my fate, knowing that I had fought with all the courage and determination I possessed. But even as darkness closed in around me, I held onto the hope that somewhere, somehow, Satoru was watching over me, ready to guide me home once more.

As darkness closed in around me, and Mahito's menacing presence loomed over me, a wave of despair washed over my soul. In that moment of uncertainty and fear, my thoughts turned to Satoru, the one person who had always been my guiding light in the darkest of times.

But as I struggled against the suffocating grip of darkness, a bitter realization swept over me like a cold, merciless wave. The memories of our time together—the laughter, the joy, the love—it all felt like a distant dream, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

And in that moment, I knew with a heavy heart that I would not be guided back home to Satoru. The future we had imagined together, filled with hope and promise, now seemed nothing more than a cruel fantasy.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I faced the harsh reality of my fate, alone and powerless against the darkness that threatened to consume me. The thought of never seeing Satoru again, never feeling his comforting presence by my side, filled me with a profound sense of loss and sorrow.

But even as despair threatened to overwhelm me, a small glimmer of hope flickered deep within my soul. For in the depths of darkness, there was still a spark of light, a reminder of the love and strength that had sustained me through the darkest of times.

With one final, trembling breath, I whispered a silent prayer to the heavens, a plea for salvation, for redemption, for a chance to be reunited with the one I loved more than life itself.

But as the darkness closed in around me, swallowing me whole, I couldn't help but wonder if my plea would ever be answered. And as I slipped into oblivion, I clung to the memory of Satoru, my beacon of light in the endless sea of darkness, hoping against hope that someday, somehow, we would be together again.

"You thought you could stand against me?" Mahito's voice dripped with disdain, his eyes gleaming with malevolence. "You're nothing but a weak, pathetic human. It's almost laughable how easily you've been defeated."

His words cut through me like a knife, each syllable laden with cruelty and malice. I gritted my teeth, refusing to let his taunts break my spirit, but deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling of hopelessness that threatened to overwhelm me.

As Mahito loomed over me, his grin widening with satisfaction, I knew that the battle was lost. In that moment of despair, I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the inevitable. But even as darkness closed in around me, I clung to the faint glimmer of hope that still burned within me, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there was still a chance for redemption.

As Mahito's cruel words pierced through me like daggers, a profound sense of doubt and self-doubt enveloped my thoughts, shrouding them in a suffocating darkness. Was he right? Was I truly nothing more than a weak, insignificant human, destined to be crushed beneath the heel of those more powerful than me?

Questions plagued my mind relentlessly, each one more unsettling than the last, echoing in the depths of my consciousness like a haunting melody. What was the purpose of my existence, if not to be a pawn in the cruel game of cursed spirits and sorcerers? Did I even have a place in this world, or was I merely a fleeting shadow, destined to fade into obscurity?

With every passing moment, the weight of my doubts grew heavier, threatening to crush me beneath their oppressive burden. Was there any meaning to my struggles, any purpose to my suffering? The thought of continuing to fight in a world that seemed determined to crush me at every turn felt like an insurmountable challenge.

I questioned my worth, my abilities, my very essence. Was there anything about me that was truly worthy of recognition, of respect, of love? Or was I destined to remain forever in the shadows, a forgotten soul lost amidst the chaos and turmoil of the world?

As Mahito's mocking laughter echoed in the darkness, I felt myself slipping further into the abyss of doubt and self-loathing. And in that moment of utter despair, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps I would have been better off never existing at all.

The existential crisis that consumed me threatened to drown out any flicker of hope or resilience that remained within me. I felt adrift in a sea of uncertainty, unable to find solid ground upon which to anchor myself.

And as I grappled with these existential questions, I found no solace, no answers to ease the torment of my thoughts. Instead, I was left with only a profound sense of emptiness, a void that threatened to consume me from within, leaving nothing but darkness in its wake.

As I lay there, consumed by doubt and despair, Mahito's cruel laughter reverberated through the darkness, mocking my suffering. With a malicious gleam in his eyes, he raised his hand, preparing to deliver the final blow that would seal my fate.

I braced myself for the inevitable, resigned to my fate as his helpless victim. But even as fear gripped my heart, a small voice whispered within me, urging me to fight on, to cling to whatever shreds of hope remained.

With every fiber of my being, I summoned the strength to push back against the suffocating darkness, determined to defy Mahito until my last breath. But it was futile. I was no match for his overwhelming power and cruelty.

And then, with a flash of darkness, Mahito's hand descended, striking me with a force that sent shockwaves of pain coursing through my body. Agony engulfed me as I cried out in anguish, the world around me fading into oblivion.

In that moment of agony and despair, I knew that I had been defeated. Mahito had triumphed, his cruelty and malice snuffing out whatever flicker of hope remained within me.

As consciousness slipped away, I was left with only the haunting echoes of Mahito's laughter, a chilling reminder of the darkness that had consumed me. And in the end, as darkness closed in around me, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps oblivion was the only escape from the torment of my existence.

As darkness enveloped me and Mahito's final blow struck, pain surged through every fiber of my being, threatening to consume me whole. In that moment of agony, memories of happier times flooded my mind, a fleeting reprieve from the darkness that surrounded me.

I thought of Satoru, his laughter and warmth wrapping around me like a comforting embrace. I remembered the promise he had made to me, whispered in moments of quiet intimacy when the world seemed to stand still. The promise to marry me, to spend eternity by my side, bound together by love and devotion.

In the depths of despair, I clung to that promise, holding onto it with all the strength I had left. And as consciousness slipped away, I found solace in the thought of Satoru waiting for me on the other side, his smile a beacon of light in the endless darkness.

In my final moments, as I took my last breath, I whispered his name, a prayer on my lips as I surrendered to the void. And in that moment, I felt a sense of peace wash over me—a fleeting glimpse of happiness amidst the pain and suffering.

Even in death, I knew that Satoru would be with me, his love guiding me through the darkness and into the light. And as I slipped away into the unknown, I held onto the hope that somewhere, somehow, we would be reunited once more, bound together for eternity by the promise of a love that transcended even death itself.

As Yaga delivered the devastating news of Y/N's demise, a wave of anguish washed over Satoru, threatening to engulf him in a tempest of grief and despair. The words hung heavy in the air, each syllable a dagger to his heart as he struggled to comprehend the magnitude of his loss.

"No, it can't be," Satoru whispered hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper as he grappled with the reality of Y/N's death. His hands clenched into fists, trembling with suppressed emotion as he fought to hold back the flood of anguish threatening to consume him.

But as the truth of Y/N's fate sank in, Satoru's grief gave way to a burning rage unlike anything he had ever known. His eyes blazed with an intensity that seemed to pierce through the very fabric of reality, and his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"How could this happen?" He roared, his voice raw with pain and fury. The sound echoed through the halls of the school, reverberating with a primal intensity that sent shivers down the spines of all who heard it. "She was supposed to be safe! I promised to protect her, and now she's gone!"

Every fiber of Satoru's being screamed out in anguish, the weight of his grief pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He felt as if he were drowning in a sea of despair, unable to find solid ground upon which to anchor himself.

In that moment of unbridled fury and anguish, Satoru's resolve hardened into steel. He would not rest until he had avenged Y/N's death, until he had hunted down every last cursed spirit responsible for her demise.

With a primal roar of anguish, Satoru unleashed his fury upon the world; his grief transformed into a tempest of righteous fury. His screams echoed through the night, a symphony of pain and rage that pierced the darkness with their intensity.

And as he set off into the night, his heart burning with a vengeful fire, he vowed to stop at nothing to bring justice to those who had dared to take Y/N from him. In that moment of unspeakable loss, Satoru swore an oath that would echo through the ages, a promise to avenge the one he loved with every fiber of his being.

As Satoru stood before Y/N's casket, his heart heavy with grief, a sense of numbness washed over him, dulling the pain of his loss to a dull ache. The funeral procession had been a blur of tears and mournful whispers, but now, as he faced the reality of Y/N's passing, the full weight of his sorrow crashed down upon him like a tidal wave.

With trembling hands, Satoru reached into his pocket, his fingers closing around the small velvet box that held the ring he had intended to propose to Y/N with. The ring, a symbol of their love and commitment to each other, felt heavy in his grasp, a reminder of the future they had planned together, now cruelly snatched away.

As he gazed down at Y/N's peaceful face, a sob caught in his throat, threatening to choke him with its intensity. He couldn't bear to say goodbye, couldn't bear to let go of the one person who had meant everything to him.

But as he looked into Y/N's serene expression, a sense of calm washed over him, a whispered reassurance that she was at peace. With tears streaming down his cheeks, Satoru opened the velvet box, revealing the gleaming ring nestled within.

With trembling hands, he carefully slipped the ring onto Y/N's finger, a silent promise of eternal love and devotion. It felt like a bittersweet farewell, a final gesture of affection to the one he had loved more than life itself.

As he stood there, lost in his grief, a sense of closure washed over him, a whisper of acceptance in the depths of his sorrow. Y/N may have been taken from him far too soon, but her memory would live on in his heart forever, a beacon of light in the darkness that surrounded him.

With one last lingering glance at Y/N's peaceful face, Satoru bowed his head in silent prayer, offering a final farewell to the love of his life. And as he turned to leave, a sense of peace settled over him, a whispered reassurance that even in death, their love would endure for all eternity.

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Upsi, I fooled you! Nah, to be honest, it also hurt me, but I had to get through it. 

Do not copy or translate; just don’t do anything with it. Reblogs are appreciated. hihi

[fitia]

Sometimes I think about Steven Universe Malachite discourse and like. wow, people were really killing each other over cartoons, and I witnessed it. And also picked a side.

[pepprs]

like ok. not to double post but i am going to try very very hard to be hopeful. the future is not fixed. this was a fucking horrible outcome and the consequences are and will be continue to be absolutely dire. but it is not permanent. things can change. this will radicalize people who will then use that energy to try to make things better. this will make people realize that we need each other and we are nothing without community and mutual aid and it will create networks of care and deepen the networks that already exist. the justices will die or retire and new justices will take their place and they may be just as bad or even worse but they also might be better. maybe we won’t even have justices. maybe this will be the breaking point where we decide (or really reach critical mass of people deciding) we aren’t going to live like this anymore and we look at what other countries are doing and how they fought to get there and we fight even harder in that same direction. these other cases are in even more jeopardy now but maybe they wont be overturned. abortions will still happen and maybe people will pursue careers and volunteer opportjnities to make sure that even in light of this they will happen safely. the future is not fixed. this is the middle of the story, not the end of it and not the beginning of it. idk

[spacelazarwolf]

apparently a bunch of ppl on social media are trying to call for a boycott of rick riordan because of this statement in a blog post:

Becky and I are just back from a busy weekend with events at the Boston Book Festival and New York Comic-Con.

Before I get into that, however, some words to acknowledge the ongoing horrors in Israel and Gaza. As many of you may know, I am no longer on social media. My accounts post only updates on my books and related projects. I do not read posts, reply to posts, or share my thoughts about world events on those forums. That doesn’t mean I don’t have strong feelings and reactions. It means I am offline as completely as possible, except for the occasional blog post like this one.

I will say this: Over the last eighteen years, I have received many fan letters from young readers, both Israeli and Palestinian, who often told me that my books helped them escape the fear, grief and anxiety they were dealing with at the time. Some had lost family members to violence. Some were writing while in the distance they could hear explosions, gunfire, and the launching of rockets. They used my books as a way to escape into another world, where the monsters were fictional, and where demigods usually saved the day. While I am always glad that my books can help young readers find joy during difficult times, my heart breaks every time I hear about the things they have to deal with. I am grief-stricken by the horrific events now unfolding, especially because I know that they are part of a long historic pattern that has been robbing too many children of their childhood and perpetuating hatred for far too long.

I am also quite aware that when anyone, myself included, tries to speak about this issue, the reader is waiting to pounce, thinking, “Yes, but whose side are you on?” That is exactly the wrong question. If there are two sides to this issue, those sides are not Palestinian/Israeli or Muslim/Jewish. The two sides are humanitarian and dehumanizing. Dehumanizing has a long evil history. It is appealing and easy to buy into, because humans are tribal animals. We are hardwired to think in terms of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ We are the real humans, the good guys, the ones with God on our side. Those other people are evil monsters who don’t deserve empathy. Hate mongers have thrived on dehumanizing for as long as there have been humans. It provides them with a purpose, a way to rally support, power, and scapegoats. It is easy to point to atrocities committed by our enemies, while justifying or minimizing the atrocities committed by ourselves or our allies.

Humanitarianism is a much harder sell. It requires us to empathize, to see other groups of people as equally deserving of dignity and quality of life. It requires not always putting ourselves and our needs first. But in the long run, humanitarianism is our only hope. If violence could end violence, if we could put an end to “those other people” once and for all, human history would read very differently than it does.

So yes, I am appalled by the Hamas attacks on Israeli civilians. I am appalled by the suffering of Palestinian civilians in Gaza. Both things can be true. Both things must be true. My thoughts are with all the people who have died, who have lost loved ones, who have had their worlds and their lives shattered, especially the children. More death and violence will not break this cycle, which has been going on for generations. There is no military solution. Even since I first wrote the post, only twenty-four hours ago, the Israeli government’s brutal retaliation against the entire population of Gaza has reached genocidal proportions. This is not only an atrocity. It is folly. Answering misery with misery only creates more fertile ground for extremism, dehumanizing the “other side,” letting hate mongers thrive, stay in power, and reduce us all to our most monstrous impulses. The only real solution is treating each other like equally worthy human beings, and negotiating a peace that allows all parties a chance to live in security and dignity, with hopes for a future that does not include bombs and rockets and gunfire. This means security and support for Israel, yes. It also means a secure Palestine which is allowed to get the international aid and recognition it needs to build a viable state.

Do I think that will happen? Unfortunately, no. Humans are simply too selfish, too ready to blame “the other” for all their problems, too ready to dehumanize, though I also believe, perhaps paradoxically, that most people just want to live their lives in peace and have a chance for their children to have a brighter future. The problem is when we don’t allow other people to have those same hopes and dreams — when it becomes a false choice of us versus them.

What can I do? I will continue to write books that I hope will give young readers some joy. I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people. I will call for less violence, not more violence. And when asked whose side I am on, I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism.

So with that said, I return to the world of books . . .

honestly, if you have a problem with this statement, it’s probably because he’s talking about you. this is exactly what legitimate activists (as in not just random westerners who share social media posts but on-the-ground activists who are doing real work) have been saying for decades. and i think all this really speaks to just how disconnected a lot of westerners who claim to be pro palestinian are from those activists.

if you can’t read a statement that says “i am on the side of humanitarianism and less violence” without immediately jumping to cancel them, you are the problem being discussed in the above statement.

[headspace-hotel]

Problems like climate change, where solving them requires millions of people to collectively work at hundreds of different solutions at once, are black holes for internal peacefulness because they give you a type of frustration where you alternately become bitter towards yourself or everyone around you. "If only I could work harder to fix the problem!" makes you exhausted, so you must become angry at others: "If only they cared about the problem!"

People who are already working on fixing climate change need to convince more people to work on it. And a popular thing is to share writings that describe how doomed we all are if climate change is not fixed, how terrible everything will be because of climate change, and how quickly all the treasures of our world are being lost.

There is a particular understanding of human behavior that is being accepted here without thinking about it hard enough. Popular news media shows headlines with terrible prophecies, written that way in hopes of getting the attention of otherwise disinterested people, who will then be "motivated" to fix climate change.

The trouble is that fear is no good for motivating thoughtful, patient, steady commitment to solving a problem. Fear is made to cause an organism to avoid things that might harm it. It creates a brief and explosive pulse of action where the organism's energy pours out as it instinctively, thoughtlessly reacts to escape the danger as fast as possible.

It's silly to blame people for avoiding thinking about climate change. The point of an organism responding to stressors is to avoid them. Oftentimes, the only tool people are presented with is personal choices about what products to buy, which inevitably is horribly frustrating and stressful, since a person will frequently be coerced by their situation into buying a certain product, and even if they don't they see others doing it all the time.

Relentless exposure to imminent threats that cannot be escaped causes Trauma, which severely impacts a person's ability to be resilient to stressors.

I think there is definitely a type of trauma associated with being constantly aware of the destruction of the environment and feeling helpless to do anything about it, especially since we as humans have a deep need for contact with other living things and aspects of the natural world, such as trees, water, flowers, and animals—a need that is often totally denied and treated as merely a Want or a hobby meant only for certain people who enjoy particular activities, like Hiking or Gardening.

We need to expand our minds on how this disconnection can hurt a human being. Imagine if a child's need to be loved by their caregivers, a person's need to be loved by their friends and family, was treated as a desire for indulgence or luxury, or a certain use of free time!

Yes, yes, one person has a condition that makes it hard to walk up hills, another doesn't like the bright sunshine, another is allergic to the grass or fungal components of the outdoor world, but WE ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH and WE EXIST IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT WHICH TAKES CARE OF US. Who showed you what beauty was, who taught you to feel peace and relief inside you in the form of a caressing breeze and rustle of leaves, who gave you awe and wonder at seeing the stars or the mountains? Where does every delicious food come from but the soil teeming with creatures? Isn't the most perfectly sweet berry grown from a plant, nurtured by the soil and pollinated by the bugs? Don't you feel delight at seeing a springy carpet of moss, a little mushroom, or a tiny bird? Think of all that the trees give us. Whose breath do you breathe? Whose body frames your home?

The writings of Indigenous writers such as the book by Mary Siisip Genuisz I am reading right now show me that the other life forms are our family. They take care of us and provide for us, and they would miss us if our species disappeared. Isn't that a powerful, healing fact? I think everybody is so enthusiastic about the book Braiding Sweetgrass because it is a worldview that those of us coming from the dominant colonizer culture are straight up ravenous, starving to death for.

Maybe, I think to myself, humans can experience a kind of trauma from being deprived a relationship with their Earth, just as they would experience trauma from being deprived relationships with other humans.

I really believe that it hurts us to be surrounded by concrete instead of soil, to see a majestic tree cut down on a whim without any justice possible, to see wild animals mostly in the form of mangled corpses on the roadside, to have poison sprayed everywhere to kill the insects that life depends on, to hear traffic and lawn mowers and weed whackers instead of birds and flowing water.

We KNOW that this is physically bad for our health, the stifling, polluted, and stressful environments of a civilization that doesn't know the ways of the plants, but I think it's a kind of moral injury too, right? To see a beautiful field turned into a housing development of ugly, big, expensive houses—no thought given to the butterflies and sparrows and quail of the field? To see a big old tree cut down, a pond full of frogs obliterated and turned into a drainage ditch beside a gas station? They aren't just things, they are lives, and while expansion and profit and progress are "necessary," a nice old field of wildflowers or a pond full of frogs are a different kind of necessary. I remember feeling this as a child without words for it—the sheer cruelty of a world that is totally without reverence for the other creatures.

"They own the property, they can cut down the tree" "They bought the land, they can do what they want with it" <but it can also be wrong, and many people know this on some level, even though our culture doesn't provide us with the framework.

Fear could never give people the motivation to fix climate change. Constant fear of what will happen in the future forces a person to protect themselves from the relentless stress by shutting it out entirely or developing apathy.

A fear based argument for fixing climate change either causes a worldview of nature with no bond of kinship at all, based on the physical and practical dependence on Nature as a "resource," or forces people to experience their kinship with Nature only through grief.

Fear tells us that we want to live—it does not tell us WHY to live. If a person tries to live on fear alone, they will eventually find the desire to live burdensome and painful in itself. I see this emerging on a society wide scale in the USA, feeding on influences from the Christian evangelicalism that sees the Earth as something already sullied and worthless, to be thrown away like a dirty tissue, and on the looming monolith of nuclear winter that gave our parents recurring nightmares as children.

If you go to r/collapse on Reddit (don't do that) you will see a whole community of people who cope with the threat of climate change by fantasizing about it, imagining it as a collective punishment for all humanity and a cathartic release from the present painful situation.

We cannot learn to live without seeing the reason for living. We cannot save the Earth without loving it. We cannot heal nature without caring for it. In order to collectively take action against climate change, we must be moved by something other than fear—and that something is love. Not just love of the outdoors as an activity, but love of the Earth as something that loves us.

The dominant Western culture cannot borrow Indigenous land stewardship techniques as though they are just one climate resilience strategy, without being also willing to change its dreadfully impoverished way of viewing human relationships with Nature.

What right have we to think, "Huh, maybe those guys were on to something with the multi-level polyculture systems and controlled burns" while still thinking humans are nothing but a disease on the Earth, and that Earth would be happy to be rid of us? The sustainable ways of using the land practiced traditionally by cultures who have lived in relationship with their ecosystems for many generations work because humans can exist in mutualistic symbiosis with the life forms around them. We care for them. They care for us.

I know for a fact that plants seek relationships with us, and I was taught by them to see how interconnected everything really is, and how I was made to be a caretaker of my ecosystem. I was, a few years ago, just as I describe above. Too scared and pessimistic about the future of nature to bother loving it, and because of this, I could not realize my niche in the ecosystem. It felt for many years like I could do nothing—i believed in climate change, but I felt hopeless, so I put it out of my mind. But when I began to cultivate a love and reverence for the sad, scraggly, beaten-down fragments of Nature around me, everything changed. So much became possible.

I am still learning and exploring, trying to open my mind to ideas totally different than the ones I knew growing up, paying close attention to every plant and learning its ways. And it stuns me to think—some people write about climate change without this process.

The author of the book "The Uninhabitable Earth" (a scary book about how doomed the Earth is because of climate change) says in the beginning of the book that he is not very much of a nature lover. You fool, love is our most powerful evolutionary adaptation!

[etherealkissed88]

learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆

indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”

since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.

we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.

remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.

how to be indifferent:

be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d

accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self

trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”

know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?

hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d

stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere

“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng

“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd

before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*

after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*

so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation

your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self

kisses, jani ☆

[araminakilla]

Regarding Death Wolf...

Hear me out (NO, it's not the kind you are thinking)

We know Death has a job, right? To collect souls and most likely release them to the afterlife.

And for this job, he has to be there when somebody is about to die, as demostrated with him being there moments before Puss' eight death.

Supposing he is THE Death and he has been doing this since the beginning of time (or at least when there were enough stories of the Grim Reaper to adquire a physical form) that means he has seen a lot, A LOT of awful things.

Murders, suicides, massacres, death of infants, people who didn't deserve to die alone, animal cruelty, some other heavy stuff I won't mention here, etc etc etc.

And we thought "man, how is he able to cope with all of that? That job has to be utter torture for someone."

Probably many of you could think that he is able to do that because he is Death, and he was "born" with that purpose and only him can reap souls perfectly.

But while he is a force of nature, he also WAS a force of nature. Let me explain it well: He adquired a personality enough to be angry, excited, frustrated, amazed, happy, among other emotions.

While he has supernatural power and is most likely the most powerful being in the Shrek Franchise (or in Dreamworks as many say) he is also a PERSON.

Someone with a code of honor, morals, opinions, beliefs, etc.

Returning to the question "How can he bear all of that?" taking into account he is no longer an inevitable force, but a character of his own.

The answer is something you may relate to, and that is: Creativity and escapism.

To be the embodiment of Death, the guy is a very creative fella.

First of all, his design. I heard many people saying here and in Twitter that his design is something they would come up in their edgy, teen years of drawing their first fursona.

Guess what? They are right, the wolf form is someone's fursona. It's DEATH'S fursona. He clearly came up with this badass, piercing canine form to blend with the Fairy Tale Land assuming the form of the "Big Bad Wolf". He most likely had other forms he designed over the centuries and was able to present as them like if he were on a role play game in the living world.

His sickles? The weapon of choice with the little crossed cats on it to have a bigger effect of terror for Puss? Those who can become knuckles and join to create a scythe? Those are his creation, probably after thinking it for a while and writing all of those functions on a paper.

The way he presents himself? In the bar? The coins in his eyes as a "watching you" sign while being a cool reference to the Ferryman of souls? He transforming Perrito's forest into the background of a skull? The chilling reveal at the Cave of Lost Souls? The fire ring? It was all him.

As for the escapism part...

When the world becomes too heavy to deal with as real life issues tend to make us feel bad, depressed, angry... we tend to escape it somewhere. And in our time the common place would be the internet as in webpages or comics, stories, etc.

But what has to do with Death Wolf you may ask?

Well, while he would NEVER be able to escape his job entirely, he can have moments where he can enjoy a good hunt of people who don't appreciate life, like the whole plot of the Puss in Boots sequel could demostrate.

He managed to have a little time outside his eternal routine to chase an arrogant cat who took life for granted. He enjoyed it, it was thrilling, it was exciting.

It was a way to escape a monotonous, grim "life", if just for a short moment.

So, when the chase ended as his prey no longer feared him and now was ready to fight for his last life, the wolf retreats, happy for Puss' character development but resigned because he once again had to return to "The Eternal Duty"

And that's not even counting all the times Jack "I'm dead inside" Horner had to interrupt Lobo's hunt and remind him of his job even in his "spare time"

Death knew the chase had to end eventually, but he didn't want it to end.

He didn't want to return to his own world

And if we look at Death like that, then he is probably one of the most relatable characters Dreamworks has ever make.

In the Shrek Franchise:

Monsters can be loved

Princesses don't have to fit the perfect standards of beauty

Handsome guys can be possesive jerks

Love at first sight doesn't work like one would think

Happily ever afters had to be built and not just obtain them with magic

And Death is the most creative and "full of life" being in the world

Because he would absolutely go crazy with his life/work if he wasn't.

Because in a world of Kings, Poets and Soldiers, he's the Supreme King

And he's also a perky goth but none of you are ready for that conversation.

[silver-horse]

if we are talking about the lost dream lover/daisy scenes from act 1 then we should talk about why those scenes were so good and why the loss of that storyline is so disappointing. because it's not just "oh those scenes looked better or whatever" it was a completely different character and storyline.

even though the companions pushed back way more and the whole narrative was telling you to resist the dream lover, it was somehow far more tempting. you were constantly tempted in dialogues to use your powers and if you did, you slowly started to lose yourself, the narrator said you could feel something slipping away, something you will never get back. You were giving yourself over to the fantasy, a mindflayer illusion

the game asked you during character creation "who do you dream of at night?" obviously meaning "what are you attracted to?" rather than just "you need a guardian. choose one." there is already a different implication there. I wonder how people interpret "guardian" if they don't know about the original dream lover. they might not even create someone they find tempting. a guardian sounds more like a mentor figure, rather than your ideal fantasy partner.

During early access the dream lover not only offered us power, they also showed us a tempting future where we are powerful and important and beloved and we are ruling the world. such universal temptations and desires. and we were resting on a peaceful field with the person of our dreams. it was peace in the dream world vs the real life struggle.

In the end it seemed obvious where this was leading... if you use the tadpole too much, you would have turned into a mindflayer. and whatever is left of your individuality and consciousness would have stayed in that fantasy world with your perfect fantasy partner. the mindflayer illusion forever trapped you. the song "Down by the River" was written about this fantasy dream lover. and what a banger and creative storyline this could have been. what a tragic ending! to just give up, lose yourself in the fantasy, the easy way out. choose this beautiful fantasy over the imperfect real world. and choose your perfect imaginary partner over the flawed real people, your companions. truly I mourn what an incredible storyline this could have been. It would have resonated with basically everyone.

and you would have been constantly tempted. to avoid this fate you would need to struggle constantly while the easy fantasy is dangling in front of your face with a zero difficulty ability check.

turning into a mindflayer wouldn't have been something you have the option to choose. and you can get cured no matter how much you indulged in the tadpole powers. lmao I kinda hate that there is no consequence for any of that now

[vesora]

deferred occupancy [+ rant]

as per neville, this is the common fault of man and i agree. sadly to say, i have done the same.

what does deferred occupancy mean?

you are not occupying the state right now. you are waiting until you tap into the void. you are waiting until the 3d conforms. you are waiting until someone gives it to you. but you are not occupying it right now.

you have in mind to occupy it later or you will experience the state when it comes in the 3d, not realising that the state must be fulfilled first in imagination then it will materialise in the 3d.

do not keep creating, do not keep constructing, do not think of your desire as something that you are not one with already. you must occupy NOW. you must accept you have it NOW. daydream knowing what you are dreaming is true. script knowing what you are scripting is true right NOW.

you are not manifesting it. you have already manifested it.

continuously remind yourself that you are the only creator of your reality so that you do not become an inmate in this sense-world. break free from this illusion. you are the creator. you can control everything. you are a God in a human body. you are GOD. you are a beautiful divine spiritual being who is limitless. Humans were made in the likeness of God therefore we can do whatever God can do. There is no separation between God and me. None at all. We are one.

Stop viewing your desires as something not in your possession yet. Stop scripting as if you don't have it yet. You have it right now. The 4D comes first then the 3D conforms. The change in the 4D must be made. The change in self must be made.

It is fruitless to not occupy your state right now. You will keep daydreaming ABOUT your desires and not FROM. You will keep viewing the desires as something outside out of you, something that is not unified with you. This will lead you to keep running in circles, blaming the 3D for not conforming when it is you who has not changed self yet and deferred occupancy of your desired state.

Slam the door on any doubts or worries you have. I don't care, slam it. Ignore it. Oh what if my desires don't manifest? Who the fuck is the 3d to tell YOU, a GOD, what is a fact or not? Tell the doubts to go fuck themselves. Or gently scold them whatever floats your boat. Fact is, do not pay attention or you will keep running in circles. Just let go and believe. Just let go and try without controlling the outcome on a conscious level by worrying about time etc.. it will materialise soon, it has no choice but to!

Be still and know you are God {@lotusmi hehe}. It is done. Why? Because you said so. It is done because you fucking said so.

Remember who you are. You have the power to change anything in your life, simply by thinking from the desire; simply by becoming the desire. The external reality is extremely malleable and our creative mind is the Potter. We mold the external reality through our assumptions. If you assume something, it has no choice but to materialise. If you have FAITH, you will have it in the 3d. Even if you don't, you will still have it, especially if you work on your self concept.

Stop waiting. STOP WAITING! YOU HAVE IT NOW. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WAIT FOR. Your unwillingness to accept you have it now already is what is delaying the externalisation of your manifestations. Because creation is finished! It's done!

You lost 100 euros and you're stressed? No youre not, 100 euros is like 1 cent to you. Tell your subconscious that you're not stressed because you're a millionaire and handle the situation as you would normally because the state is not lost! The outer man does not manifest, the inner man does; the real self does! The subcon only hears what you tell it, so tell it wonderful things. Accept you have these things. Do not wait. Do not wait PLEASE.

You have everything you need right now. All the knowledge needed, you have it already. It is done. It is done because you said it's done. And who are you to say it's done? You are God, you are the ONLY creator / molder of your reality, outside forces don't exist. Even if you believe outside forces exist, they have NO influence in your reality; NONE AT ALL. So, how can you say you don't have it when you are the creator?

Occupy the state now. It is done. Stop waiting and think from it. You already are it. YOU HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. DO NOT BE A SLAVE TO THE 3D SENSES. YOU HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. YOU CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. THERE IS NONE THAT CAN CONTROL YOUR EXPERIENCE EXCEPT YOU!!!!

THE 4D CREATES THE 3D. DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE 3D. IT WILL AND MUST CHANGE IF YOU OCCUPY THE STATE EVEN BY JUST AFFIRMING. JUST HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. HAVE IT. YOU ALREADY DO. IT'S DONE

YOURE SCARED? NO YOURE NOT. WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED? WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME YOU WILL FEEL SCARED WHEN THE DESIRES MANIFEST? ASSUME THAT YOU FEEL ONLY THE BEST EMOTIONS AND ONLY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.

THE CHANGE OF THE 3D IS NOT PERMANENT. IT IS EASILY MOLDED. IT IS NOT HARD. YOU CREATED IT. IF YOU REGRET SOMETHING, GO BACK. BUT DO NOT LET THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN HOLD YOU BACK FROM MANIFESTING TRUE UNBRIDLED HAPPINESS.

FUCK FEAR. IT HAS NO PLACE IN OUR LIVES. HOW CAN WE BE SCARED WHEN WE ARE IN CONTROL OF EACH ASPECT OF OUR LIVES? HOW CAN WE FUCKING DOUBT OURSELVES? GET UP. STAND UP. YOU HAVE IT NOW.

[originalaccountname]

Finally caved and did my perceived timeline of what happened to Chuuya, from being brought into the lab for project Arahabaki to being taken out of it.

I originally thought about mentioning it in my Chuuya's true original ability being to amplify others' abilities post, but it was way too long, and not as solid an argument to that specific topic.

Because this is about Chuuya being the original, not the clone, but more importantly the why and how that is the case.

Chuuya's humanity is the core question of SB, and the most important part is that in the end, Chuuya chose to accept himself despite it all, and that no matter what, he is himself and no one can take that away from him.

But once we have been given all the pieces of the puzzle, we can try connecting the dots and deduce the true story behind it all.

-

Project Arahabaki was built to create an ability weapon based on the recovered notes of Pan, a French researcher and Verlaine's creator. The technique uses the clone of a human with a "fake" psyche (persona model) who is fused with a singularity life-form. The clone's original should have an ability able to create a self-referencing singularity (to manifest gravity powers). Pan even had a special ability metal to brainwash that individual. Basically, this concept is supposed to create an overpowered flesh puppet.

So. Project Arahabaki. They needed an original with an ability that could produce a singularity on its own, which is super rare. Joy oh joy, there just so happen to be this boy, the son of a military doctor, who fits these needs! They just need his DNA/some cells to create a clone to use in their project. It's the middle of the war, ethics are disregarded, plus no "real child" should be harmed in the making of this weapon. No biggie, right? Lend us your son for the sake of the country!

Except we know that boy, officially at least, died during the war.

According to N's timeline, there once was this certain boy who managed to create a singularity with his ability while under the supervision of scientists, but got swallowed by the black hole it created, never to return.

He also had Chuuya's supposed "original" stuck in a tube full of mystery liquid, the same kind Chuuya once was in, but that one's flesh and organs melted when exposed to air (normal behaviour), changing it into a skeleton that can be ordered around like an overpowered puppet (literally on strings. The tubes in its back controlled it and kept it going, but would severely limit its range)

Back to our Chuuya:

All N does is lie, so we can't take his word as the simple truth. Chuuya was a miracle they never managed to reproduce. Why is that?

In Rimbaud's notes, he says how in their operation to retrieve the new ability weapon Japan was developing (based on Verlaine), they managed to identify the artificial being, aka the clone, A2-5-8. In the flashback, Rimbaud is absolutely positive it is him, so we have to assume this information was recorded as-is somewhere.

And yet, Dazai is the one to suggest later that, perhaps, the original and the clone had been swapped.

And wouldn't that make everything else make sense?

The clone(s) never managed to hold up to the quality standard necessary to be useful outside of their confines. The skeleton approach was the lab trying something different, like N admitted so to Verlaine. There ever only was one successful attempt, a "miracle", Chuuya. The original child is thought to be dead, yet N the liar supposedly had him in a tube, ready to turn him into a skeleton(???). Rimbaud and Verlaine thought for sure they had the artificial life-form, the clone, but they got Chuuya, who has a graphite scar from before he lost his memories, with a past that was able to be dug up by the Flags and Port Mafia.

My conclusion is this: N swapped out a clone for the original child. His research wasn't giving the proper results, but he had found a workaround, where he could use the original instead of his clone, for better/faster results.

Chuuya is the only one who could harness "Arahabaki" in any way that would remotely resemble "Guivre". Chuuya is the only one who could operate autonomously. That's why N wanted to remove "Arahabaki" and try to factory-reset Chuuya before putting it back in: because there really is only one of him, and he couldn't afford losing him if he wanted to continue his research.

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley’s Realm Dominance & Mirror Dimensions: “A Piece of My World”

I’ve had this theory in my sleeves for a while now, but an impromptu collab with @moonlightequin1 on Twitter truly opened my third eye!

It started out with Ray saying what if “Piece of my World,” aka TWSTs theme song, is the name of someone’s Unique Magic? It certainly does have a ring of a Unique Magic title haha. It sounded like a bit of a joke at first, but then our discussion suddenly became serious. Because what if it was the Signature Spell/Unique Magic for Crowley?

In Book 7, when STYX is learning about Malleus’ Overblot, STYX drops a huge lore drop about the dream barrier being Malleus’ “Realm Dominance,” an ancient and rare class type of Fae magic. A type of magic that can change the world into the visions of the caster. Malleus puts everyone to sleep and trapped in thorns because it’s the world he wants- where his loved ones can’t die nor leave. We don’t know the extent of Crowley’s magic yet, but we do know he’s a long-lived Fae who speaks of Imagination being the key to a mages magic. In Book 7, Silver also begins to speak of this world of imagination created by memories (side note, the ghost camera pictures full name in JP is “Memories: Fragments of Remembrance”) before getting cut off.

But what does this have to do with Crowley? After all, not even regular Fae has this sort of Realm Dominance magic- it needs extreme power and imagination for it come true. And it’s only possible on a world scale because Malleus is one of top 5 mages, despite not even being a matured Dragon Fae. But the thing is, this has EVERYTHING to do with Crowley. In fact, Ray and I are convinced that Crowley has already shown the “Pieces of his world” ever since the very beginning of the game.

Staring right in front of us is the mirror dimensions for each dorm. Outside of NRC, there has been NO CASE of a mirror having another stable realm inside. None whatsoever! The Lost in the Book with Stitch event does have the mirror on a storybook, but everyone loses their memories at the end. It’s clearly not a stable mirror realm. Side note, I will be talking about how sus that book is in a future post, Ray and I also had a lengthy discussion on that one haha.

I don’t believe that this is normal magic. Sure, mirrors are commonly used for teleportation in TWST, but an entire POCKET DIMENSION? We know for a fact that it is a pocket dimension because in Book 4, there is a limit to the dorm worlds inside the mirror. The dimension gets colder and darker the farther you try to travel, which we received proof on in Book 4 during Jamil’s Overblot. Jamil threw us to a cold, dark and grey area of the dorm, aka the literal boundaries to the dimension that can take hours if not days to trek through by foot.

And isn’t it interesting that each of these mirrors has a world individually crafted in the image of the Great Seven? An entire WORLD where students can live in and use magic in, while taking up no space in the real world of Twisted Wonderland. So Ray and I are thinking that this is one of Crowley’s display of “Realm Dominance,” that these mirror dimensions are his creations. Crowley even wears mirrors (5 in total) all over his body, perhaps as a hint to this

So if Crowley’s Unique Magic is “Piece of My World,” the dorm mirrors are quite literally, a piece of Crowley’s world that he has created! The opening animation even starts out with Crowley being surrounded by mirrors with the names of each dorm inside them, in flame. So in the terms of this theory, if Crowley’s Unique Magic is related to Realm Dominance itself, it’s likely how he can craft completely individual and stable dimensions within objects like mirrors that are his own pocket dimensions. And if he’s capable of that, it could be possible at a world scale.

Twisted Wonderland is, well, twisted. A world where the villains won or at least are viewed favorably…a world where these Overblots at NRC are suspected to be caused by someone on purpose. And from what we now know from Book 7, it is possible for Realm Dominance to take over the ENTIRE WORLD. In Malleus’ case, it’s because his magic supply could literally never run out because some Fae can absorb magic power from nature itself. And this, Malleus renews his magic and slowly expands his sleeping realm.

Edit: @camrastuff sent me a wonderful ask bringing this up! On the front of his body, Crowley having seven keys: three on his hat, and four at his belt with the mirrors. Perhaps these keys work similarly to Azul’s contracts, and are something that keeps the separate dimensions in check? Or if they are a necessary thing to his magic, and this is on a world scale…Crowley’s cane being in the shape of a giant key is 👀👀👀👀

It’s also interesting to note that the theme song of the game doesn’t have a full OP yet. A “full” performance on ABEMA TV was made, but an official release was never made, and it’s believed that it wasn’t the true full version due to potential spoilers to the late game of TWST. It’s just a possibility tho haha, we can’t say for sure.

Edit: I’d like to add that the ominous opening song when you physically open the game is literally called “Dire Crowley.” If “Piece is my World” is also Crowley’s song, his presence is lowkey everywhere in the background in the game??

There were many, many topics from Ray and I’s discussion that I’d like to cover, but I’ll be separating them out for coherency haha. On a final note, I’d like to add that the countdown art was connected to tarot cards according to their number. I made a whole deep dive on Crowley’s card, but to sum it up, Crowley’s countdown number was “1,” and the last one in the countdown. In this case, Dire Crowley has the number of the Magician, who has the potential of infinite creation capabilities as long as he can imagine it. It’s interesting to note how the Magician serves as a connection between worlds as well 👀 I think this theory has potential for Crowley gaining a more centric role in TWST soon…Book 8 specifically. The Magician also has a strong connection to the number 8, because of its theme of “infinity.” Just something to think about…

Edit: Part 2 to this theory is out!! This time, going further into the idea of Crowley’s magic being on a world-scale level, and his motives for his magic 👀

[honeywiththemoneyloa222]

HELLO MY DARLINGS

PLEASE READ

So I have heard that even I manifested for everyone

It may not work for everyone

Because you still have to persist yourself

Kinda like this

You could manifest for a job but you still have to work

Someone told me this

And then said that those who promised to manifest in the void for others said that they tried but couldn’t do it for everyone

So their followers called them liars

Please don’t do that

We are the Gods of our OWN reality

Do it yourself

I’m here to guide you

So

Here’s a step by step guide that actually helped someone get super close and helped me get in!!!

First

What is the void state?

The void state is the deepest type of meditation

It is the state of pure consciousness where your body is asleep but the righty side of your brain is awake

Why we need to keep the right side of our brain awake?

Because the right side of our brain is more “creative”

We have two sides of our brain

They’re called “Hemispheres”

Left hemisphere(left side of brain)

Is for your every day activities you use more of during certain classes at school

This sides more logical

Meaning it knows things like

“1+1=2” “You eat cereal with a spoon spaghetti with a fork”

When you stay still for 15-20 minutes not only is your body asleep but your left hemisphere is also asleep

How to enter the void state

To enter the void state one must simply

Be

In the void state anything is possible

You can revise death, heal someone from something, gain magical powers

Become famous be a billionaire marry your celebrity crush wake up next to your SP

Be the coolest person in the world

Have pink hair etc

Nothing is impossible

If you lost someone you could literally manifest in the void they’re still alive and healthy

Here are the steps to entering the void:

1. Get comfortable I don’t care if you lay down or sit up just be in a position where you feel comfy

2. Put on an instrumental to your favorite song if it’s relaxing enough it can even be a rap song

Just no lyrics

Make sure it’s upbeat enough to make you happy and keep you awake

Or a slow pop instrumental I don’t care if it’s Billie Eilish etc

Any song instrumental that gets you in your mood

3. Whilst listening to your instrumental, I want you to start daydreaming

Visualize your dream life

Picture that everything is perfect the way you want it

The 3D can be altered that’s why it’s an illusion

In this very moment that you’re lying down the only thing that’s important is your mind

Allow your thoughts to pass they don’t even matter

Shift those thoughts into your daydream

Fantasize about your dream life

Feel happy feel good

4. While daydreaming about your desires

I want you to picture your desired self as vividly as you can picture them staring into your eyes

Breathing with you

The breathing method I want you to try during this is

The “444” method

Breathe in on 4

Like this

As you’re breathing in through your nose count to 4 in your head or out loud

Then hold it

Release on the count of 8

So hold it then release on 8

Do I this until you feel super relaxed

Now imagine your desired self

Counting to a hundred with you

With each breath in you both count together

What you’re doing here is you are becoming in sync with your desired self

As she/he/they( your desired self) stares into your eyes

Let them count with you picture them just staring at you with a comfy smile and counting with you

Until you reach maybe 100 or 200 whatever you choose

5. After counting

Still imagine your desired self

Imagine they’re telling “you always wake up in the void”

Repeat after them start saying

“I always wake up in the void “

Create affirmations for them to say

And just repeat after them but using first place like they’ll say “You are pure consciousness” so you say “I am pure consciousness”

Become in synch with your desired self as if your souls are one because truthfully this desired version of you is already you

You’re just forming a deeper connection with them in this very moment

6. Start saying together “I am in the void”

7. that’s it

If you’re not in by now

I need you to focus on talking to your desired self today become in synchronized with them

This will help you feel a stronger connection with your desires instead of putting them on a pedestal

Subliminals to use

For Alpha waves

What is Alpha waves?

Alpha waves are a mindfulness meditation exercise that helps relief stress and many other things

The alpha state of mind is a relaxed state of consciousness while awake when the brain produces alpha waves instead of beta waves. Alpha waves can help reduce stress increase productivity, and boost creativity. Some techniques that may help you enter the alpha state include:

(Credit to google haha)

Examples of when you’re in the Alpha wave state

1. When you sit down to watch tv for awhile

2.While studying

3.Maybe reading a book

These are examples of things we do that trigger the alpha state

To get into the alpha wave

Listen to the subliminal above with the waves included

During this subliminal

Focus on deep breathing

Calm your mind

Slow down your heart rate

The frequency of alpha should be at 8 to 13 HZ

The video I mentioned above is at a frequency of 11 HZ

ISOCHRONIC TONES

Isochronic tones are tones that basically forces your brain waves to move in synch with the frequency you’re listening to

Isochronic tones is what I like to call “Synchronized tones “

You can use binaural beats but these and isochronic tones are the not the same

The differences are

Binaural beats are separate frequencies functioning together

While isochronic tones are frequencies of a singular wave

You could use either one

“What if you can’t visualize?”

No worries!

If you are unable to visualize like I was I want you to practice this method instead

The non visualization method:

Requires no daydreaming no visualization

How to enter void with a clear mental image

1. As stated before get into a comfortable position

2. Put on either subliminal or instrumental

3. Close your eyes and instead of visualizing

I want you to lay completely still

In about 15 minutes or when you feel it’s been awhile

Start moving your eyes rapidly

Not too fast

You know when you’re fake sleeping and your mom tries to see if you’re actually asleep

Like that move your eyes

Not like you WANT to wake up but more like as in you are dreaming

This will trick you into thinking you’re in the “R.E.M” state

The REM state also known as “Rapid eye movement”

This occurs when your brain waves and your mind are becoming consciously aware

You’ll feel like waking up because you’re in the process of waking up

But you’re still asleep

This where you dream

Or if you have Aphantasia(the inability to visualize) whether your dream or not

Many people with aphantasia still dream they’re just low in sensory

Anyways during REM sleep

You’re basically half awake half asleep

The duration is about 90 minutes

To trick yourself into thinking you’re in the REM state

After awhile of laying still and tricking your body into thinking you’re asleep

Move your eyes rapidly

You’ll start seeing little lights or colors that’s behind your eyelids

These are called “phosphenes”

Focus on these colors behind your eyes

Until you feel you’ve are in a self induced trance

You might end up in the hypnagogic state

Hypnagogia are phoshenes which is where you’re between awaking consciousness and sleep

You’ll hallucinate different patterns shapes smells etc

This is just extra information

The main key here is if you can’t visualize

Trick your body into thinking you’re the REM state by moving your eyes

And focusing on the lights shapes sparkles or colors you see behind your eyes

4. When you feel like your mind is blank/fuzzy at this point

Start affirming or counting or both while still focusing on the colors

This helps you take the focus off of your surroundings and your body

Because at this point you’ll be feeling symptoms

If you don’t it doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right

You don’t need symptoms

They’re your bodies reaction to falling asleep

That floating feeling

Is also part of your body falling asleep

You ever had dream you were falling and you wake up thinking you were falling?

The void requires no symptoms

So if you get some don’t get excited

It just means your body is full asleep

It only takes 15 minutes to fall asleep

The Gateway Experience

First and foremost it’s important to know not to use too many different brain wave audios choose a few you resonate with the most

This audio below is from either the 60s or 80s

Anyways it’s been proven by the CiA that the void state exists

Monks have done for centuries tapping into it whilst chanting the OM mantra

Below I’ve provided the hemi synch subliminal and a theta wave subliminal one with the OM mantra one without

And one is for shifting realities but you can block out the shifting affs if you just wanna enter the void

We have different brain waves here’s what each one is and used for

Beta wave: Alertness awakened consciousness active thinking

Examples

You in school or work

Theta wave: Creativity

Dreaming deep meditative states

Examples

Meditation or when you’re about to fall asleep

Delta waves: Deep sleep

Reduced waking consciousness

Examples

Deep sleeping

Epilson waves: Spiritual awareness and insight along with inspiration

Subliminals I recommend

And good luck guys

I love you babies so much

But please remember not to give these subliminals or even me

Power

The power lies within you

So if these work

It’s because you allow them too

You might think you’re self concept is good

But there’s two versions of your mind

Your 3D brain and your 4D brain

Your 4D brain is where your imagination lies

Your 3D brain is you right now

Both are you but they must both be in synch

Your 3D brain needs to also know your power

In other words you could say all you want that you’re “The God of your reality” or that you “Enter the void easily”

But you need to actually believe it

Many believe that reprogramming the subconscious mind takes months or weeks have clearly never of Psych k

Psych k is a method that aligns both sides of the brain in tune to absorb whatever information you tell it

It’s supposed to require your brain in only minutes

Watch this video to learn how to do it

I know some success stories are exaggerated but never get discouraged if you do

Search “Electra Soul” on YouTube

She helped me when I needed the motivation

Here is more subliminals for you to try out

Don’t ask people to enter for you

Because it’s not 100% guaranteed even if it was

Everything in your life

Is the way this because of how YOU assume it to be

Change your assumptions

If I entered for everyone but you still have a shitty self concept

Your life would not be better that’s like me giving a kid homework for something he’s already been taught

But he still expects me to do it for him

How else does he learn? He does it himself

Then if he needs help he asks

Reason why they’re called “TEACHers” to teach you the things you need to know not do it for you

Plus you feel so much more accomplished and confident when you get things done by yourself

At the end of the day all you have is you

We’re all just random strangers

Your subconscious mind is not a person so stop talking at it

But talk TO it

It’s like a tape recorder

The current tape that’s in is repeating negative affirmations that’s you’ve subconsciously embeddeded into your mind

Change the tape

Re record those thoughts

Place them with wanted desired thoughts

Here’s more subs for you as I mentioned earlier

Hemi Synch

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, how exactly was the Gotei 13 formed in AEIWAM?

(The original gotei-13 captains might have canon genders but I'm going off vibes tbh.) (Here's a collection of Kubo's art of the original 13 so you can see what everyone looks like)

-----

It had started with the Clans.

Actually, it had started when Shigekuni Yamamoto was mugged for the fourth time in as many days, by agents of The Great Noble Houses, trying to influence the tide of their endless petty wars. You could hardly blame him for reacting as he did, somewhat literally blowing up with rage, and upon his return to his home office, rallying his fellow distraught men into a fighting force to stand up to the clans.

It had been quite a popular manuver for him, with the equally distraught and downtrodden citizens of the central rukongai threw their support behind him in short order. He was already well-known to them, and respected for his work. In a few short years, his meager forces had grown to rival the clans in power.

Then the Quincies had invaded the Spirit World, lead by some horrible creature known as Yhwach, seemingly Hell-Bent on conquest- which is where all of them would end up if The Archery Bastards kept shooting everything that moved and upended the balance between the worlds.

Now-General Shigekuni Yamamoto, the unfortunate bastard to whom the task of defending the largest city in the Spirit world from invasion had fallen, needed some muscle.

Why me, of all people? Surely there were others more qualified? He wondered, staring at the latest round of reports from the meager handful of his men that remained. Or perhaps everyone smart enough to actually do this is also smart enough to realize it was a lost cause and had thrown their lot in with one of the Noble Houses, and I am on a fool's errand.

Even just a handful of warriors with sufficient strength could break the leading edge of the Quincy line, and let the small army that remained slip behind them in to cut the Quincies off from their supply lines. It was just that breaking the wall of archers required at least a dozen of him.

"Word from lieutenant Sasakibe!" Shouted one of his soldiers, sprinting in the door and thrusting a letter at him. "Sorry sir I just remembered how important it was that you heard from him as soon as possible."

"You did as I asked." Yamamoto nodded, opening the letter. He had needed to stay- both to recover from his injuries and because if the Quincy got much closer, using Ryujin jakka to create a wall of fire around the city might be the only way to hold them off- and he had tasked Chojiro Sasakibe, his Longest and Dearest friend, with finding him the strongest warriors in Soul Society.

He took the scroll and opened it, reading the neat but excitably slanted handwriting within-

Dearest Shigekuni,

I am relieved to report I have found a dozen extremely powerful warriors per your request! I went on a hunch a friend of mine had, and found a concentration of MANY powerful warriors that would be willing to aid our cause, but twelve among them are particularly standout candidates. Given the rapid advance of the Quincy Army, I have included a teleportation spell to their location at the end of this scroll so you may meet them immediately.

"Incredible!" Yamamoto laughed. "Is there nothing this man cannot do?"

I do beg of you though- Please, reserve your judgement of them until you have seen their capacity.

"Ah." Yamamoto sighed. "...of course there's a catch."

Their circumstances are... complex, and this has made many of them rough and peculiar to speak to, but I swear we will not find better warriors, at least not before the Quincy advance reaches Seireitei.

I await your arrival, Chojiro

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll a bit more to see the edge of the teleportation spell that would activate when exposed to sunlight. "Sir?" asked the young soldier.

"It seems Sasakibe was successful in finding me the assistance we need, but they are apparently a queer lot." Yamamoto rumbled, thinking. "There is a teleportation spell- How close did you say the Advance was?"

"Not more than a week out, sir."

"Hopefully less than two hours then." he grunted, standing up and carrying the scroll to the courtyard of the building he operated from- it was a place used to the many comings and goings of a large and complex organization, though the little Shrine to the God of Messages and messengers had been somewhat neglected of late. Yamamoto took a moment to sweep the leaves out of the shrine and bowed to the statue within, thanking it for delivering Sasakibe's message and asking for help delivering him to his friend.

"Any orders while you're away, Sir?" The soldier asked.

"Someone clean out that shrine and make it a proper offering. The last thing we need is for communications to go down." The General nodded.

"Yes Sir!" the soldier saluted.

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll and with a flash, vanished from the courtyard.

---

With the same flash, he appeared somewhere... foggy.

"Shigekuni?" a familiarly crisp voice asked somewhere in the ether.

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto called back, and the vague shape that might have been a rock in front of him stood up, arms open. He laughed, and embraced his friend. "Good job! How did you find them so fast?"

Sasakibe's warm smile suddenly stiffened into a grimace. "...Promise you will not be angry?"

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto frowned.

"See, I was asking my friends- only the most trusted of them, I swear- how to even go about finding warriors with everything scattered to the wind of late, and well- One of them suggested that only things that are powerful are widely feared, so look where fearsome things are to find powerful ones."

Yamamoto squinted at his friend, then around them at the dense fog, the strange rocky cliff beside them, and the distant sound of angry voices.

"Chojiro." Yamamoto asked, hands on his shoulders. "Where are we?"

Sasakibe pointed up behind Yamamoto where characters had been carved into the stone cliff.

The Nest Of Maggots

"Chojiro."

"Yes, sir?"

"This is a prison."

"Yes, sir."

"This is a prison for the kind of filth that even the most bitterly factious clans agree is a danger to have wandering around. The kind that they already tried and failed to weaponize against each other. This is a prison for Monsters."

"...Yes, sir." Sasakibe sighed. "-But, is is not monsters we need?"

Yamamoto was silent for a time, thinking of the swathes of pointless destruction- salted fields and burnt villages- of the senseless loss of life- slaughtering soldier and civilian alike down to the last man, woman and child- of the cruel and twisted powers of the chosen favorites of Yhwach.

"Monsters to fight monsters." He shook his head. "What is this world coming to?" Yamamoto sighed.

Sasakibe looked away, unable to meet his friend's gaze. "Still, beggars can't be choosers." Yamamoto nodded. "Show them to me."

--- All twelve "Most Dangerous" of The Nest's prisoners had been herded together into something approximating a straight line in the middle of the rocky cavern that housed the prisoners here, though some of them were already beginning to meander, and one woman near the end of the line had, rather rudely, decided to remain seated in Yamamoto's presence. The lineup was... less than impressive. Two of the women looked like they belonged on pinup posters rather than death row. One of the men looked like a washed-up Sumo, another like an ashtray that had been cursed to roam the afterlife as a human. On one end of the line was an ancient and decrepit old man, and on the other was a- Yamamoto wasn't actually sure if they were a man or a woman, but in another life, they had definitely been a cat.

"These are the most powerful fighters in the Spirit World?"  He muttered to Chojiro.

"These are the most still-alive-est fighters in the Spirit World." Chojiro clarified.

"...Fuck it. " Yamamoto sighed under his breath, before stepping forward and addressing them properly.

"I am General Shigekuni Yamamoto of The Seireitei. I don't know how long you've been in this hole-" Yamamoto paused, sensing that something was off.

None of the Prisoners were looking at him. In fact, the all seemed very dedicated to looking everywhere but at him. Some were inspecting the stalactites, others were examining the grit on the cave floor, or staring into the metaphysical abyss somewhere just over his shoulder, and one man had pulled his very silly straw hat down in front of his face.

"-Alright, what the hell is going on?" Yamamoto growled.

There was a general unenthusiastic sort of shuffling and a distinct lack of answers.

"Remember everyone!" The man next to the cat-in-human-form spoke up while examining his fingernails. He looked more like an accountant than someone who belonged on Death Row, but the others perked up and paid attention. "-We are not to speak to any guards of visitors until our representative arrives and has given us permission to do so." The others nodded and resumed looking anywhere but at Yamamoto.

"...Representative?" Sasakibe lightly growled at a guard, whose complexion went from 'ashen' to 'deathly'.

"They um. Well. They've gotten rather close to one of the other prisoners, but she's no good in a fight, so we left her-" The Guard sputtered under Sasakibe's withering glare.

"-Miss Tsubaki was waiting at the Primary gate last I saw her." continued the man who looked like an accountant and that Yamamoto was becoming increasingly sure was armed, despite allegedly having been searched and denied any tools in his confinement. "...I say to no-one in particular." He added.

There was a moment of silence.

Yamamoto struck the tired-looking, gray-haired young woman beside the accountant, sending her stumbling back, but the accountant and the sturdily-built blonde man beside her stepped in to catch her, the rest of the line snapping to attention, eyes fixed on him with utter rage.

"Now that I have your attention-" Yamamoto started again, the gray-haired woman coughing as the sturdy blonde helped her back to her feet. "-As I was saying, the Spirit World is being invaded, and you're all being conscripted to-"

"Yachiru!" Snapped a young woman behind them.

Yamamoto turned to glare at the interloper, but instead found that the gaunt-looking woman that had remained seated had somehow apparently teleported and tackled Sasakibe to the wall behind them, one arm pressed to his throat, slowly choking him. Apparently-Yachiru's other hand had put some substantial holes in his abdomen and she paused from where she was about to stark licking Sasakibe's blood off her fingers to look at who had spoken.

"Don't eat that! You don't know where it's been!" Said a waifish young woman in threadbare prisoner's robes who could not have been taller than 4'10". She was quite striking, with large, dark eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a long aquiline nose. She took Yachiru's bloodied hand and dragged her back to the group. Yamamoto tried to keep his pace even as he walked over to check on Sasakibe, who immediately sat up and waved him off.

"...Thirsty." Grunted Yachiru- She might also have been beautiful, with her pale, round face and smooth black hair, were it not for the haunted, carnivorous look in her eye and her apparently literal bloodthirst. She stopped halfway back to the group to give a wet, hacking cough that made Yamamoto's skin crawl, and spat out a gob of bloody phlegm on the floor.

"You'll feel better when you get Minazuki back." the young woman reassured her, helping Yachiru sit back down, the others taking seats on the stone floor as well, in two neat lines behind her, the Human Cat behind one shoulder, the Accountant behind the other. "Is everyone else alright?"

"Kinroku definitely did not tell the guards to go get you." announced the man from behind his straw hat. "Also the mean old man hit Chigiri."

"I understand. Do you need assistance, Chigiri?

"The Old Goat has a sucker-punch like a rocket but I'll live." grunted Chigri, rubbing her abdomen and waving her hand interrogatively at Yachiru, who shrugged in reply.

"Despicable Behavior, hitting a medic." the human ashtray sniffed disapprovingly. Yamamoto could feel the Reiatsu of the group now, previously held in check, now starting to unfurl and growl and snarl at him.

"You BASTARDS-!" Yamamoto snarled, lunging towards the young woman, who instinctively made a fist in front of her chest, grabbed it with her other hand, and swung her whole body around, slamming her elbow into his eye socket and nose, and he stumbled, falling to his knees. It wasn't that hard a hit, not compared to what he was used to, but there was genuine killing intent behind it, much like the heel she struck into the side of his head, knocking him over the rest of the way in surprise. Miss Tsubaki's large, dark eyes were full of rage as she glared down at him, grinding his head into the floor under her toes. "Ah." He said, finally recognizing her from images in the intermittent news bulletins. Tsubaki was a middle daughter of one of the most powerful of the Noble Houses who had suddenly vanished from public view the year before. The rumor was that she had been imprisoned by her father for dangerous activities like 'Going Places' and 'Writing Letters' or even 'Having Opinions'. It was apparently true, but if she'd managed to organize the dirtiest dozen of the Maggot's Nest, he was beginning to understand her father's choice of internment. "Miss Tsunayashiro, I presume."

"I am her, and I am here in my capacity as their Union Representative. This means you do not talk to them. You talk to me." She lightly snarled, removing her surprisingly sharp-heeled foot from his temple and sitting seiza in front of the group. "Now what is it that you have brought us here to discuss?"

"Your friends are getting conscripted." he glared, slowly getting up and standing to address her. Returning the blow to a civilan, no matter who her family was or how hard she hit, was beneath either of their dignity, but a little looming was alright.

"We're getting hired." She corrected him. "With proper contracts and compensation."

"Shut up or else." He snarled, reconsidering the value of his dignity.

"...Or else what, exactly?" She asked.

Yamamoto bristled, and slowly drew his sword. Tsunayashiro's gaze flicked to the blade, following it's gleam as he brought it up to her throat, tipping her chin up with the point. "-Or you will all die right here." Tsubaki closed her eyes, sighed deeply and opened them again, gaze fixed on his. He could feel her pulse through Ryujin Jakka's blade.

...Steady as a rock.

"Alright." She spoke evenly. "Strike me down."

Yamamoto blinked.

"We are already on Death Row, General." She explained slowly as though speaking to an idiot. "None of us have families to speak of, or to speak to, for you to threaten. We're already cold and barely allowed to sleep and starving and in constant pain from broken bones or missing organs or untreated injuries. We are all already doomed to die or suffer gross abasement. You, however-"

She slowly stood up, neck sliding a bit on Ryujin Jakka's blade, drawing a trickle of blood.

"-I've been in here for the better part of a year, I believe, but news trickles in. Guards leave to replace soldiers fallen on the battlefield. Rations dwindle as farmland is overrun or destroyed. Political prisoners are freed and returned home as more popular heirs and scions are killed. You, General Shigekuini Yamamoto, need help with this war, and need it badly, to come here for it." Tsubaki continued, stepping forward and pressing a bit more into the blade, the trickle running more strongly, down her throat and into the folds of her thin Yukakta, staining the fabric bright red.

"So go on. Strike us down." She spoke softly. "Spare us the Humiliation of a Public execution or the horrors of a lobotomy, and doom yourself."

Yamamoto, quite possibly for the first time in his life, hesitated.

"If you cannot do that, sit down and negotiate like a civilized person." She said. The blood stained her entire breast now, but she did not flinch or waver.

Slowly, glaring and refusing to break eye contact, he withdrew his blade, wiped it down and sheathed it. Teeth gritted and heart unexpectedly racing, he sat. Lady Tsunayashiro followed, head still held high, though that may have been so Chigiri could lean forward and press a pad of torn robe to her throat, stemming the bleeding as she bandaged it, muttering curses.

"We're being invaded by an army of mutant humans called "Quincy" who can shoot arrows made of pure reishi, which can obliterate a soul entirely. They're lead by some monster called Yhwach, who seems hell-bent on conquering the entirety of the Living and Spirit worlds, and is apparently capable of killing small gods and Kami." Yamamoto explained, trying to stress the depth of the situation. He'd never been in a labor negotiation before, and was hoping they'd be more reasonable if he made an emotional appeal. "Kill enough of the archery bastards and live, and I'll have all your crimes pardoned."

"What a shame, what a shame." clucked the old man at the far end of the lines. "You young people just don't know how to handle things..."

"Hmmm..." The person who was definitely at least spiritually a cat pursed their lips. "Oh, uh- Chika Shihon." the bowed their head. "-It's a good start, but I'm gonna need a hell of a payday, seeing as nobody will hire an ex-criminal, even a pardoned one, and about forty more people need to die before my family will consider taking me back in."

"As well as some form of protection from political reprisals, or there won't be an opportunity to spend any of that payday." said Kinroku the Accountant, rubbing his nose like he was going to push up a pair of glasses he wasn't wearing.

"Paying criminals? Surely, you can't be serious!" Sasakibe scoffed.

"I am serious, and my name is Tsubaki, not Shirley." The representative quietly smirked at him. "Well, General? What price are you willing to offer for the salvation of all of Soul Society?"

"I want to see some proof before we talk price." Yamamoto glared at the Death Row From The Dumpster before him.

"Fair enough." Nodded Tsubaki, turning her head to address the group. "After me, who would you all say is the weakest fighter?"

The group considered this for a moment.

"Strongest is easy, its Yachiru, even with the missing lung." waved the pinup girl with the eyepatch and pigtails.

"Give Uhin some credit!" Protested the other pinup girl with the tits that were individually larger than her head.

"That's sweet of you to say Batsu-" Uhin the Giant in the back row laughed, patting the second girl's head. "-But also holy shit, no. Yachiru could disembowel me and strangle me with my own intestines before I could get off the mark! No offense little man, but I think it's Furuoki." He said, patting the straw hat of the man in front of him.

"Really?" Tits McGee pondered. "I was going to say Nobutsuna."

"I was gonna say me too." announced the human ashtray with a rough and reedy voice. "I hate fighting." "Yeah, but you hit like a fuckin' rockslide. Yeah, it's Furuoki." Agreed eyepatch.

"Mr. Otogawa-" Tsubaki addressed Furuoki the hat man. "-It's rather dark in here, would you please let in some light?"

Furuoki blinked at her, confused.

"Show the old man you can punch a hole in the ceiling." Yachiru translated for him, wetly.

"Okay!" Furuoki chirped happily, getting up and walking a few feet away.

"MORE!" yelled the group.

"Over by the guard tower!" Encouraged the large and rather jolly looking man, save for how he seemed to have lost both his lips and most of the front of his mouth, but had only bothered to replace his missing teeth with gold ones, giving him a permanent lipless grin.

Furuoki walked over towards the guard tower until the guards approached him and told him to back up, paced a bit until he found a suitable middle ground, and squinted up at the ceiling.

"Sir-" Sighed the head guard walking towards Furuoki as frowned at the ceiling. "Sir that's half a mile of solid rock and twelve different magical wards above you. It's not gonna work."

Furuoki instead dropped down on one knee, aimed, and-

A dazzling blue-green light and a noise like the roaring fires of Hell Itself erupted from his fist as he punched up towards the ceiling, vaporizing the stone above him and making all 12 wards chime and tinkle like glass as he broke through them. As the mushroom cloud of dust dispersed, sunlight began to filter in through the hole, at least 100 feet in diameter. The top third of the Guard tower seemed to have evaporated as well, and the guards were scrambling to try to control the panic.

"Is that enough?" Furuoki called.

"...Is it, General?" miss Tsubaki asked.

"...Ten Thousand Kan?" Yamamoto tried.

"That's fine dear, please come sit back down." Tsubaki waved.

"I am surprised, general." She smiled at Yamamoto in a way that reminded him uncomfortably of they way the post office cat would smile at the mice. "Ten Thousand Kan annually per individual is a very reasonable offer."

"A one-time payment of Ten thousand Kan to be split between the group." he growled.

"No." She shook he head. "You're offering us annual salaries, individually."

"The hell I am."

"Then we will enjoy watching the collapse of civilization through the new Skylight Furuoki made us." She replied, unconcerned. "You may have noticed, General, that there is a war on, and this is an exceptionally safe and secure place to be. Make it worth leaving."

"-Two minutes ago this was a frozen hellhole you were all starving in." he glared.

"Ah, but the view and property value has improved substantially in the last two minutes!" She smiled, unconcerned with his complaints. "There is no punishment you could mete out that is worse than remaining here, General, but you are not an advancing army of superhuman mutants, and there are MANY things the Quincy can do to us that are worse than remaining here. You are in a most unenviable position."

Yamamoto grimaced. "You're sure this is the best there is?" he muttered to Sasakibe.

"We could also try swearing loyalty to one noble house and hoping the other four don't try to kill us before the Quincy do." Sasakibe grunted, hand over the puncture wounds in his guts. "I don't like it either. but I like our other options even less."

Yamamoto sighed. "...Five thousand Kan Annually per individual."

"Ten thousand." replied Tsubaki.

"Seven thousand."

"Ten thousand."

"That's not how this is supposed to go." Yamamoto grumbled.

"And yet, this is how it's going." She smirked. "There is also the matter of the political protections!"

"DAMMIT!"

---

Half an hour later, terms had been reached.

Full pardons, Ten Thousand Kan, annually per individual (plus expenses), and political protections in the form of employing them as commanding officers on the condition that they "-Don't get killed, and prove you're smarter than a sack of hammers and at least half as useful."

"No for real, I'll forgive the old man the gut punch, lemme do something so you're not bleedin' all over my contract?" Chigiri sighed, watching Sasakibe write up the contracts.

"I'll trust my body to keep my guts on the right side of my skin over someone's dirty socks." he sighed. "Or do you have something else on hand?"

"Minazuki." Muttered Yachiru, leaning heavily on Chigiri.

"Oh right! I keep forgetting she does the fish thing." Chigiri perked up. "Yeah tell the guards to go get her sword, it turns into a... fuckin' whatsit, the big flat fish? Turns into one of those that can heal anything."

"Again, I trust my own faculties over any sort of Healing Halibut." Chojiro groaned.

"Stingray." Yachiru muttered, wheezing a bit. "Minazuki is a stingray."

"Alright, back in line everyone- I need you all to confirm your identities and what crimes you need pardoned, and to sign your contracts." Sasakibe sighed, standing up with the contracts and handing the first to Yamamoto.

"Shigekuni Yamamoto, Dereliction of duty and Mail-tampering, among other assorted sins." He said, smirking a bit at his own joke as he took the contract.

"Thank you sir." Sasakibe sighed, shuffling the pile of folders containing the files of the dozen criminals, and stepping up to the first one.

"Chika Shihon-" He read off, matching the drawn portrait to the person in front of him- Chika was a rather handsome young thing, with warm bronze skin and short, soft white hair. It was the gleam in their yellow eyes that made Sasakibe worry. "- Sentenced to lifetime imprisonment or death for staging a clan coup, twelve counts of fratricide and... dabbling in forbidden Kido?"

"Oh, like you've never had a family dinner that got out of control!" Chika huffed, indignant.

"I'm more curious about the Kido, actually." Yamamoto said, peering over his file.

Chika beamed and Sasakibe got as far as a choked "NOT HERE-!" before they vanished in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, they were still wearing the same excited expression, but now as a small white house cat.

Sasakibe and Yamamoto stared at the cat for a moment, then at each other in a mutual expression of I can't believe we've been reduced to asking these freaks for help.

"Well, when you've got thumbs again, please read your contract, then sign and initial all the indicated areas, and swipe your blood across the bottom." Sasakibe sighed, bending over to hand the kitty their contract. "Remember, these contracts are legally and magically binding. Betray us, and die immediately."

"Next is- Kinroku Izuhara-" Sasakibe was interrupted by one of guards appearing with the confiscated personal belongings of the prisoners, including an entire bundle of swords under his arm.

"I understand not giving us our weapons until the contracts are signed and the seal is placed upon us, but may I have my glasses back?" Kinroku asked, voice crisp and arch. He was certainly the least ragged-looking of the group, his graying hair still neatly trimmed and face clean-shaven.

Yamamoto held out a hand and the guard placed the appropriate glasses in his palm. "Trade you for whatever you have that's kept you so clean-shaven it's making my mustache itch." Yamamoto glared.

Kinroku smirked, and produced a piece of bone that had been exquisitely sharpened into a razor's edge.

"This is a human bone." Yamamoto observed.

"Unfortunately, poorer quality than the bones of pigs or cattle in terms of holding an edge, but it's done it's job." Kinrku nodded.

"...This says you're on death row for ...Tax Evasion?" Sasakibe glared at the file as the blade was traded for the glasses.

"Yes. I made an unfortunate miscalculation regarding the loyalty of my men, so I am glad you are taking adequate precautions." Kinroku muttered, cleaning his glasses on his robe, holding them up to the dim sunlight filtering through the hole, and frowning, disappointed.

"Men?" Yamamoto asked. "You've had experience commanding armed forces before?"

"After a fashion." he said, signing the contract and biting into his thumb to finish the deal. "You've heard of The Vipers of the southern reaches?"

"The decentralized bandit gang that disbanded a few years back? I thought their leader had died?" Sasakibe frowned.

Kinroku smirked at him.

"...Oh, for fuckssake." Sasakibe groaned.

"Chigiri Shijima." Yamamoto read off, having already moved on. "...What the hell kind of charge is Aggravated Medical Research?"

"Can't make an emergency field medicine manual omlette without breaking a few bones. And causing a few disembowelments. And poking out a few eyes." She explained.

Yamamoto slowly arched an eyebrow at her.

"I PUT 'EM ALL BACK!" Chigiri protested. "...Eventually."

"Read. Sign. Blood." Yamamoto sighed, handing her the contract.

"For real though, your man okay? I can have those stitched in under a minute." Chigiri pointed her thumb at Sasakibe.

"That's some fast-acting painkillers." Sasakibe noted.

"What painkillers?" Chigiri asked, genuinely confused.

"...I'll take my chances with the halibut." Sasakibe winced, turning to the next man in line. "Danjiro Obana?"

"Yeah!" Grinned the sturdy-looking blonde man, all smiles and friendliness now that an agreement had been reached. "Lookin' forward to workin' with you guys!"

"...Imprisoned for cannibalism?" Sasakibe asked, horrified.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Danjiro hollered, voice echoing around the cavern.

"How do you accidentally consume human flesh?" Yamamoto glared.

"Well- okay it wasn't an 'accident' per se, but look, that Ise Clan guy locked me in the family mausoleum to die, and understandably, I got the munches, and the coffins were fulla, eh... post-sapient jerky?" Danjiro explained. "I really don't know what he expected to happen. Really surprised when he opened up the door a month later and I gut punched his spine out though. I don't regret that one bit."

"You know? That's fair." decided Sasakibe, handing him a contract. "Read, sign, blood."

"Yessir!" Danjiro saluted happily.

"Furufoshi Saito?" Yamamoto asked the young woman with the purple pigtails and eyepatch that was next in line.

"I DID NOT 'KIDNAP' HIM, HE'S MY HUSBAND AND THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF PRICKS!" She roared.

Yamamoto blinked at her, then leaned over to read "Accused of Abducting and 'Deflowering' the eldest son of the Kuchiki clan' on her file. "...Care to elaborate on that?"

"I found poor Kyoga-kun half-dead on my doortstep after the battle of River Bo- he still had spears in him, the poor thing! So like a sane and reasonable person I took him in and nursed the sweet thing back to heath and- well, a beautiful man in my bed, grateful to me for saving his life and offering me his eternal love and gratitude- How could a girl resist?" She sighed, hearts in her remaining eye.

"-and since I'd carried him over the threshold into my home we were basically married already, so it wasn't wrong of me to ride him like a pony or violate his warranty like that! He loved it! He loves ME! AND I LOVE HIM! It's just that the rest of the Kuchiki clan are a bunch of snobs with no sense of romance." She sighed, melancholy, then looked up at him, chewing her lip in nervousness. "...You haven't. heard anything about him?"

Yamamoto considered her story, and the few times he'd met Kyoga Kuchiki- a delicate young man with a sense of romantic grandeur and when he'd seen the boy recently, he had been lying facedown on the floor and sobbing, in quite some distress over being separated from his beloved-

"...Daddy Bear?" Yamamoto asked, bewildered.

"MY LITTLE BABY BEAR REMEMBERS ME!" She shrieked with joy, "Is he alright? I've been so worried, he still wasn't over that septic infection and the war keeps getting closer-" She demanded, grabbing Yamamoto by his Kosode and shaking him for answers.

"-As of last month, he was distraught over your absence, but otherwise hale. The sooner the Quincy are dead, the sooner you can see him again. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, detangling himself from her and putting the contract between them.

"Ah, Ever-turbulent but true runs the course of Love." sighed the charred man beside her. "Nobotsuna Shigyo, at your service." he introduced himself, bowing politely.

"I'm Batsu'unsai Katori- We were arrested and imprisoned for roughly the same incident and it may help to be introduced at the same time." Said the woman with the exceptionally large breasts beside him. "Um, I'll need my glasses back too- Oh, thank you!"

"The sight of sunlight is so strange after such time." Mused Nobotsuna. "Even before our imprisonment, the Lady Katori and I were leaders of a secret underground society!"

"It was less of a society and more of a Polycule that got out of control-" Explained Batsu'unsai. "Once I discovered by spiritual powers, I moved in with the great sage Shou Dokutsu, and began hanging out with and then dating other people with spiritual powers and they started bringing their partners to my district and pretty soon there were so many of us that the easiest way to house everyone was to start developing the extensive underground cave systems in the area."

"We manufactured many fine magical artifacts, so called ourselves The Under-Wares!" Said Nobotsuna.

"We actually called ourselves The Kido Union, because in addition to the magical tools, we formed a united labor front to keep the clans from exploiting us." She explained, and Yamamoto began to understand her interruption.

"I am the wise Loremaster of our people!" Said Nobutsuna.

"He's a stablehand." Batsu'unsai smiled.

"But the clans did not like that they were no longer able to exploit and abuse us now that we had allied in great numbers, and war came to our peaceful nation of Shou's Hole!" he said, with genuine sadness.

Yamamoto and Sasakibe looked back at Batsu'unsai.

"It actually is called Shou's Hole." she sighed. "He just wanted it so badly."

"I wore them down!" Notbotsuna grinned.

"Still, the clans did not like that they now had to pay to have magical labor done and that we would outright refuse their more barbaric requests, and eventually I think it was the Shibas that mounted an all-out assault on us. Last I heard, most of the Union made it out through the other exits from the caves, but Dokutsu-san and most of our heavy hitters stayed at the primary entrance to buy time. Nobotsuna and I were the only ones to survive the assault, and Hiraku Shiba had us thrown in here." Batsu'unsai sighed.

"Prick." Spat Nobotsuna. "Oh sure, when a head of one of the so-called 'Noble' houses goes around decapitating people and burning them alive it's considered 'honorable combat' and 'keeping the peace', but when I, a man whose family tree isn't a fucking wreath of incest, retaliates in a decidedly less lethal fashion suddenly its 'treason' and 'making up a spell called Penis Blast is a war crime'!!"

"-What kind of blast?" asked Sasakibe.

"He can demonstrate it for us on The Archery Bastards. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, thrusting contracts at them.

"Entetsu Kumoi." Read off Sasakibe as they came to the bald man who was nearly as wide as he was tall, with the exposed gold teeth. Entetsu looked up from where he'd finished putting his glasses back on and arranged his hairless brows into something that indicated that he'd be smiling politely if he had lips. "Imprisoned for your participation in the riot at the Windroad House, where you..." Sasakibe frowned at the file. "-Attacked and killed one hudred fifty-seven town guards with a brick, and mounted an assault on the local Dyamo?"

"Always morally correct, hittin' cops with bricks." Nodded Entetsu. "-Specially ones comin' t' kill just because some people are out havin' a good time, doin' no harm to no-one."

"The Windroad House is a Bar in the 3rd district famous for it's ah. Exotic. Cabaret performances." Sasakibe explained to Yamamoto, who didn't get out much.

"You were. At one of these performances?' Yamamoto asked.

"Ah, nah- just gotten off the job and had nipped down to the pub across th'way for a pint when I saw the pigs kick in the door an' start dragggin' the ladies out and I thought 'well that ain't right', so I started throwin' bricks until I were on me last brick and then I hunted them down wit' that last brick until there were none left." he explained. "Then I thinks, 'well, there's only none left until more come from the station', so's I made me way up the road to the station wit' me brick and had me a little hogslaughter up there too, see?"

"...And you just. kept going?" Sasakiba asked.

"So's I did! Right up to the head hog's trough, though by then it were well early in the mornin' and I were tired an' had some dozen spears in me back and me brick had fallen apart, so's I dinna get hims haunches fer ham." Entetsu sighed.

"Persistence! Very good quality in a captain!" Grinned Yamamoto, handing him the contract. "You know what to do by now."

They turned to the rather comely young man with the straw hat. "Furuoki, was it?" Yamamoto asked, feeling something that wasn't hopeful, per se, but these were strong people, and deeply insane and they were agreeing to help him, something that made his heart race with a delirious sort of mania.

"Yes. I am Furuoki Otogawa." he nodded.

"-And you're imprisoned here for- ecological terrorism, defiling holy a holy site and creating a dangerous magical device?" Sasakibe asked.

"What?" asked Yachiru, getting back to her feet and leaning heavily on him. "You told me you were in here for Jaywalking?"

"I thought I was?" Said Furuoki, frowning and tipping his head with confusion.

"It says here you constructed a device over the Tenjo no Ganbo waterfalls to, ah- 'suck up the carp in the pool at the base of the waterfall and launch them, at speed, up and over the waterfall'." Sasakibe read off and looked up to see Furuoki staring into the distance, eyes watering.

"They wanted to get to the lake at the top so badly they were swimming up the waterfall, but they kept falling down and getting hurt!" he sobbed, overcome with emotion. "I just made a chute to safely carry them to the top and gently toss them in the lake! how is that a crime?"

"-because when a carp makes it to the top of Tenjo no Ganbo falls, IT TURNS INTO A DRAGON! YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF DRAGONS SUDDENLY APPEAR! THOUSANDS BEFORE THEY COULD DISMANTLE THE DAMN THING!!" Sasakibe shouted.

"Ohhh." Furuoki said, nodding. "-I'd wondered where all the dragons had come from. I still don't see why that's a crime though?"

"Gods help us." Groaned Yamamoto.

"Dragons tend to be. Kinda destructive." Yachiru spoke slowly, her voice still rough and hollow-sounding. " 'specially to little villages."

"Oh." Furuoki said quietly, horrified.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with them once I get my lung back and bust outta this joint." Yachiru reassured him as Sasakibe handed Furuoki his contract.

"You wont be 'busting out' of anywhere, miss-" Sasakibe suffled the papers to open her file. "-Yachiru Unohana! You're obligated to serve General Yamamoto in exchange for your freedom, seeing as you're imprisoned for- for-"

Sasakibe froze, staring at the file. "-That has to be a Mistake."

"What?" Grunted Yamamoto, sizing the woman up. According to the group, if Furuoki who could rip this heavily fortified prison open like an ant's nest was their weakest fighter, this sickly-looking woman was their strongest.

"The file says she's imprisoned for killing ten thousand people!" babbled Sasakibe.

"Oh, no, that isn't right." grunted Yachiru, and Sasakibe sighed with relief.

"-Should be closer to twelve or fifteen thousand." She clarified, and Sasakibe went white.

"Read, sign, mark with your blood at the bottom." Yamamoto sighed, thrusting the contract at her.

"Uhhh... can't." She said, staring blankly at the contract, then slowly looking up at Yamamoto.

"What do you mean 'can't'?"  he growled.

"I can't read." she said.

Sasakibe hid his face in his hands, groaning with pain, while Yamamoto turned on his heel and threw his hands in the air, silently beseeching any available Gods for help.

"You get what you pay for, General." Called Chika, having changed back into the clothes they'd arrived in- garish red-orange and black ninja garb of the Shihon clan- and tying their sword back onto their gaudy belt.

"I am paying all of you a frankly OBSCENE amount of money, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect basic literacy!" Yamamoto snapped.

"It's okay girl, I'll read it to you and then you can have Minazuki back, okay?" Chigiri volunteered, wrapping an arm around her illiterate compatriot and walking her back to some seat-height rocks.

"Let's just get this over with." Yamamoto sighed, glaring at Tsubaki, who only smiled serenely back at him. "Uhin Zenjoji?"

"Present, sir." Beamed the enormous man who looked like a professional Sumo wrestler- there was fat, lots of it, but underneath, an unsettlingly steady grace and power to his movements.

"Your file says you're imprisoned for Smuggling, Murder, Bootlegging, Murder, Trafficking, Murder, More murder and... one hundred seventy two violations of The Migratory Bird Act?"

"The only two I will dispute are the trafficking and migratory bird charges-" he said, delicately holding up two fingers. "-firstly, it's not trafficking to move refugees from the clan wars out of danger without giving the aforementioned clans a cut. I'm no pimp."

"And the birds?" Yamamoto glared, intrigued more than anything.

"A man may have his hobbies and his charitable works!" Uhin said, touching his hand to his chest in faux-impassioned speech. "I collect and breed rare and endangered birds- the world would a sadder place without their songs. So I have- well, had- an aviary up in the mountains where they could be propagated in peace." Uhin sighed.

"Huh. Something nearly bordering on sanity." said Sasakibe said, offering Uhin his contract.

"Got any of them- whatsit- the big kicky bitches?" Danjiro asked.

"Cassowaries?" Uhin asked. "But of course! Delightful little creatures."

Yamamoto decided he didn't hear that, actually, and turned his attention to the final member of the dirty dozen.

"Hello young man!" the decrepit old man creaked cheerfully. "I am Saizo Sakahone." he was bald, liver-spotted, missing teeth and had a spine that bowed like a fishing rod with something much too large for the boat on the end of the line.

"Sakahone like the province?" asked Yamamoto, remembering the western area he'd traveled through recently.

"...In a manner of speaking, I suppose?" Saizo grinned. "Though it's rather the other way around- my lovely wife, may she rest in peace, managed to bear me no less than sixteen beautiful daughters, and they bore at least a dozen granddaughters and so on- Why, by my one thousand one hundred and eleventy-eth birthday, I had somewhere over fifty thousand descendants! So I am not so much named after the province, as the province is named after me!" he chucked.

"...by the Gods." marveled Sasakibe.

"Look, I love my sword too but at least I take it out of the scabbard sometimes." sighed Yamamoto. "What're you in for, family man?"

"O-ho! Now that was quite rash of me, I'm afraid. Yes-" Saizo nodded, rubbing his gnarled-oak hands. "-but as you say, I am a family man and there is nothing I despise so much as someone who does violence to children. No, no, nothing more vile in the world than that..."

Yamamoto felt Sasakibe go stiff beside him, and glanced over. Sasakibe tipped the file closer for his friend to read.

"-The total annihilation of the Uchimaki clan?" Yamamoto asked.

"I was born a shepherd, my boy. My people have been herding cattle over the hills of my province since there were cattle and hills to herd them over. When rot and madness like that turns up in a line- you need to cull backwards at least three generations or it'll set root and spread through your whole herd." he sighed. "What a shame, what a shame, but it had to be done, or they would have learned to turn a profit, treating children like that, and then we'd never be rid of it."

"I saw the crater. Half a mile deep and three times as wide." Said Yamamoto, mustache trembling. "I thought the wrath of the Gods themselves had descended upon them."

"Hm." Saizo nodded, jaw trembling a bit with palsy. "Hm, yes. That's what it felt like."

"Would you like to feel it again?" Yamamoto asked.

"No." Saizo shook his head, but slowly straightened up as much as he could- he must have been close to seven feet tall before the scoliosis set in- flexing his hands and rolling his neck, the power held withing that body starting to come off him in shimmering golden steam. "-but if that's what it takes for me to go home again, then I will be the tool of the Gods once more."

Yamamoto offered him the contract, and did not need to give him instructions.

Behind them, there was a quiet but extremely invasive wet noise and Yamamoto turned to see Unohana unsheath her... well, it lived in a scabbard but it was a muddy green and unusually gooey for a sword. Minazuki bubbled forth from her scabbard, trilling faintly as she solidified and formed into a mottled green cyclopean stingray, large enough to swallow a man, nuzzling at her human affectionately.

"Huh. She does seem to have an exceptionally intimate bond with her Zanpaktou..." Sasakibe noted, then flinched as Minazuki's mouth opened to reveal a fleshy interior of writhing tentacles and strange glands. Without hesitation, Unohana shed her prisoner's robe, which was apparently the and stepped inside to be swallowed with a sigh of relief.

"Very intimate!" grinned Chigiri at Sasakibe's shoulder. "My offer to stitch you up is still on the table, unless you want to develop a similarly intimate relationship with a fish."

"Never did care for seafood..." Sasakibe muttered.

"What about Tsubaki-san?" Furofushi frowned. "Where's her contract?"

"I came here for fighters." Yamamoto shook his head, turning to Tsubaki. "But you are right that The Maggot's Nest is a secure fortress in it's own right. The war is no place for a pri-"

He stopped, staring. Tsubaki had sat down and was rubbing her feet, fingers laced between her toes. She glanced up at him, then down at her feet, smirked, and sat back, wiggling her toes. "No, I agree, the front is no place for a Princess, but it is very much a place for a Diplomat, isn't it?" she asked.

Yamamoto blinked. "I have been thoroughly disinherited from any political position I may have inherited, so I am no princess." She explained, rolling her ankle with a smirk. "-and you are, if I may make an estimation based on my training as a Lady Of Society and now that all of our contracts are signed and bonded, terrible at negotiations."

Yamamoto shook himself, trying to pretend he hadn't been staring at her arches. "...I thought it went fine? Nobody lost a hand."

She smiled, and walked up beside him, lacing her arm with his and gently patting his hand. "My dear. If bookies had been allowed to lay bets on this encounter, the odds of me losing my head would have been considered a sure thing, and the odds on my being able to convince you to properly hire us and pay us, I agree, an 'obscene' amount of money so slim that anyone who took my side would now be a very rich idiot."

Yamamoto squinted at her, trying to translate that in his head.

"...You've conned me." He glared.

"Quite badly, I'm afraid." She smiled.

"You've conned me, but you can con say, that idiot that runs the Omeda clan or the obnoxious boy with the cock's comb that follows Yhwach around even worse." He tried.

Miss Tsubaki smiled, and laced her fingers with his.

"I'm going to have someone much smarter than me write up your contract." he nodded. "Sasakibe? Can you get us home in a-"

Yamamoto turned to see his friend, standing with his robe open while Chigiri knelt before him. Yamamoto blinked in bewilderment, and then realized the woman was stitching his wounds up at speed, her face close to his navel to focus on her work.

"...Hurry?" Yamamoto asked.

"Boss if I go any faster I'm gonna sew his bellybutton shut." Chirigi replied, not looking up.

"She is almost done, sir." Sasakibe winced. "Please don't interrupt her work?"

--- It took a good half hour to get everyone together to leave- clothes changed, signed out of the Maggot's nest and their custody turned over to Yamamoto, Nobotsuna trying to smuggle his "pet" Salamander out, several other prisoners saying tearful goodbyes to Tsubaki and her taking their information down 'for later', Minazuki trying to eat the salamander, and further mayhem while Sasakibe finished drawing the teleportation circle but soon they were lined up, and as the spell activated, Tsubaki gripped Yamamoto's arm rather firmly.

But in a flash, they were returned to Headquarters, Tsubaki blinking from the bright sun.

"General!" the soldier saluted. "Good to see you again! No news from the front, but we have received word the Shihon clan has made an alliance with the Fon clan as the advance approaches their homeland."

"HAH!" Shouted Chika. "Either cousin Genki pulled his head out of his ass or whatever cousin they're on now has good taste! Mingyan is a BABE and a half."

"Nice digs, very nice." Nodded Danjiro, looking around the courtyard. "...Looks really familiar for some reason. Never been to Seireitei, but I swear I've been in a building just like this?"

The other criminals looked around the courtyard, frowning and muttering about how it DID look familiar, and not at all like barracks.

There was a distressing hurgling sort of noise behind them and Minazuki spat out Yachiru Unohana, who tumbled out, nude and covered in slime. She rolled to the foot of the shrine, and sat up, blinking at the statue inside.

"Hey-" She called, voice still low and a rough but the hollow wetness had gone. "-Why's the military got a shrine to Yatagarasu?"

The others looked at the shrine and then around the building again. The orderly layout, the way the men were fit and professional but not precisely military, the extensive filing and sorting system visible through the open doors, Yamamoto's confession to Mail-tampering, the shrine to the Messenger of the Gods...

"You know, I did think it was rather strange that you were able to rally a small but apparently quite fast and very loyal army without the aid of any major clans." Tsubaki sighed. "How very industrious of you, Postmaster-General Yamamoto!"

[rachetmath]

Jaune More MC Ruby?

Ruby: That’s why I’m the MC and you're the side character.

Jaune: So because you have silver eyes you’re special?

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: Even though I cheated Beacon.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: I was bullied.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: My partner is dead. And because I let my guard down, Ozpin died, and Oscar had no choice but to come on this journey. You know,  because of me.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: And because Cinder, who works under Salem killed my partner, I have beef with the main villain and her whole crew.

Ruby: Yeah.

Jaune: Salem, who I have way more in common with than most people, the deemed goddess I’m defying her, just like she did with the brothers over a loved one's death. Are you following me so far?

Ruby: … Yeah…

Jaune: Hazel, who mind you, lost his sister. He lost his sister because of the world Ozpin had created, like I did, with Pyrrha.

Qrow: She had a choice.

Jaune: A few days' choice which turned into minutes when Beacon was attacked. Then discovering how bad the situation is, you know with Salem being immortal, I almost hurt if not killed Oscar, making me at the spur of the moment,  just as bad as Hazel. And mind you I was willing to fight you on that.

Ruby: Uh… yeah…

Jaune: Tyrian, has the opposite to my semblance. Wasn’t he more interested in me than you? And you were his target.

Ruby: Mmhmm.

Jaune: Let’s talk about Cinder again. Cinder had two stray kids who followed her. I have Ren and Nora. Neither have parents. Also, we both want power but for different reasons. We even have different views on destiny.

Ruby: Oh damn.

Jaune: Atlas. Oscar did Ironwood not act like how I did in Argus but worse?

Oscar: Yeah he did. Jaune even saw Salem in person before you did.

Yang: So did we. You saw her face to face.

Oscar: I’m Ozpin. What is that supposed to mean?

Ruby: Oscar, not helping.

Jaune: Neo. We both lost our partners. The difference is that I have friends while she has none. The cat, him, and I almost have the same ability except he manipulates your soul or takes it. He might as well have been a devil version of me.

Weiss: O. Dear lord.

Jaune: Watts. … … … You know what no. He-he was no. Like he could have done better, he’s an example of being smart yet making the dumbest choices. 

Weiss: True.

In the Twilight

Watts: What?! My decision was understandable.

Ironwood: No. No, they were not.

Penny: Like you could have logically put your two weeks in and left for another kingdom. Or country. Like Vale. Mistral. Anywhere. You could have helped where you could've been needed. Which would have made you better than my father.

Watts: I wasted my life.

Back to Remnant 

Ruby: Um….

Jaune: You know what I have to ask this question. What is the moral of the story and how does your character fit into this?

Ruby: Well my-

Jaune: Let me retort. I lied. I was bullied. I had no idea about anything in the hunting world. I needed a teacher. I lost someone important to me. I have beef with the main villains. I train to get stronger to be of use to others.

Ruby: So?

Jaune: Okay. No one believed in me. But I still went to chase my goal. I lost the best thing in my life. I still moved forward. I had to kill someone. Still moved forward. I’m an old man trapped in a boy's body. Still moving forward. Fighting the odds that are stacked against me. I have seven who no one knows about. Yet your family is more interesting.

Ruby: Your point?

Jaune: The moral of the story is that no matter your circumstance you can always be better. Never allow destiny or grief to influence your entire life. No matter what odds that stand before you,  you can ultimately change your fate. And no matter the darkness a simple soul can light up the night and unite everyone against a greater evil. Even when the whole world is against you, you are never alone to endure it. If we stand united and look past our differences only then the wor;d would be a better place.

Ruby: Well my mom died at Salem’s hands.

Jaune: And?

Ruby: It's still relevant.

Jaune: You're right. But how many times has your mother been mentioned and you bothered to get information about her?

Yang: I-

Jaune: Bitch shut the fuck up. You were looking for the deadbeat mom more than the mom who stepped up.

Ruby: Well um… um…. Damn. Oh, but I-

Jaune: You weren’t the sword. I may not have known Penny as long as you, but the fact, that I could've saved her proved her death hit harder than Pyrrha's. I’m close to walking in Raven’s path.

Ruby: Shit.

Jaune: And back to your mother. She was a silver-eyed warrior. But Salem is still here. Do silver eyes work on her?

Ruby: Um.

Jaune: Because Salem is still both the brothers' creation. The old humanity. She can't be phased by the black liquid even though everything they touch decays. 

Ruby: She's immortal.

Jaune: Yeah but again when Maria told you her story didn't she try using her silver eyes on humans and it didn't work? 

Ruby: Cinder.

Jaune: Grimm arm.

Ruby: The hound. 

Blake: Silver-eyed person too but only stunned them.

Ruby: Blake.

Blake: What a minute he had animalistic ears. Should I be concerned for my people?

Jaune: Yeah… we’re not getting into that. The point is if you go see Salem and your silver eyes don't work then your mom died for nothing.

Ruby: Oo. Um…

Jaune: And let's get back to the other villains. Besides Emerald, Mercury, and Tyrian, some of them have valid reasons to join Salem. 

Ren: Jaune!

Jaune: Ren, your village got destroyed.

Ren: Nevermind.

Me: Hold up. Let me start. With Cinder, a huntsman saw what she was going through and didn't bother to help her. She was alone. The world abandoned her.  

Jaune: So Hazel was right. In fact, Raven had a point.

Oscar(Ozpin): Mr. Arc I-

Jaune: Motherfucker Hazel had every right to be angry. Dude shadow missions involve us going with experienced hunters. Yet his sister died and Ruby could’ve died. Shadowing them. Following their lead. Does that not show how bad the hunting system is? Not just that we got hunters who died in the line of duty. Not to mention how some were sexually harassing the girls.  And some of them are just plain crazy or assholes. Not to mention Blake, Qrow, and Raven. You let them in. And to make matters worse you chose Pyrrha, a first-year student, to be your maiden.

Oscar(Ozpin): She was my best option. 

Jaune: So Glynda wasn't on the table? A high-ranked fourth-year student wasn't on the table? Man, at least you could have chosen Ruby considering she has silver eyes and is a young upcoming prodigy. That would have made her more important. Like Ozpin Ruby off the bat was better than Pyrrha.

Qrow: Hey, I would have stopped that.

Jaune: O, so… it was okay with Pyrrha… but not your niece. I see. Hypocrite.

Qrow: Damn. Set myself up for that.

Jaune: Watts, despite his stupidity, had a point. James would abuse any source of technology just to have some level of control over something. Why did you think he wanted your sister instead of Penny? Why do you think he wanted Amity up as quickly as possible? Why do you think he hacked into Penny? Everything was always about control.

Weiss: Well our lives weren't easy.

Jaune: That I won't deny. Yet we are all still bad people.

Yang: Jaune my mother -

Jaune: Raven and Summer left you. Summer no one cared enough to talk about. Raven doesn't matter at all. Willow waited until her children were teenagers or young adults to start dealing with an abusive father. And Kali… yeah she should have slapped some sense into her daughter. 

Weiss: Well your mom doesn't love you.

Jaune: Don't care. Back to Jacque though how does he and James know each other? Why do they have beef with one another? Unless… o. Oh no. Don't tell me. Did James set Jacque up with Willow? And in return, he helps James rise to power. Or did James love Willow but because of his career he couldn't marry her? Could Winter be-

Weiss: Please stop. I do not need those theories in my head.

Jaune: Fine. The point I'm trying to make is… … well how about you explain.

Me: It's crazy how Jaune fits the main character role better than Ruby.

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2 hangs on - you guessed it - a double meaning (and art). *Part 4*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The End?

This is major spoilers for season 3 territory. You have been warned. I'm also going to split this into parts because wow, I have so many ✨Clues✨! Friends, we have arrived at the prestige! Metatron come at me bro, catch these hands. Oh wait you can't, you always have your hands in your pockets...

People smarter than me have talked all about Aziraphale's magician outfits on this show, so I won't steal their thunder. Suffice it to say, The Metatron is wearing a weirdly dark coat and tie over his whole outfit. Which gives him a very only a white floating head look, but also keeps in the theme of ✨I am a magician✨. He's here to perform a trick!

I also won't talk a lot about him in the coffee shop because that's been done already. If we have learned anything from part 3, analyzing the coffee to death is what we are supposed to be doing, because He is distracting everyone with a benign object that we can inspect. So while he's waving this coffee around in the shop going "SEE I KNOW HOW EARTH WORKS" he's also doing something fascinating: Checking to see who recognizes him.

Weirdly, even though Aziraphael saw him in season one, and the angels all work with him, no one does right away. EXCEPT for Saraquiel and Crowley, who just saw his face not in person, but in a video tape of sorts up in heaven at Gabriel's trial by farce. And then something funny happens. Saraquiel is scared shitless and pretends to have 'forgotten' like Michael, but Crowley admits loud and proud that he does. Then Uriel gives THE BIGGEST SIDEYE I have ever seen on screen to Michael, as in "You don't recognize our boss? I am very afraid for what that means."

As far as I can understand, this is the reason the Metatron is here : "Are we in the version of events where I lose?" And the answer The Metatron gets after the question is : We are in the version of events where I have severely fucked with Michael, sort of fucked with the other angels, I have fucked with Aziraphale, and Crowley has seen me already in heaven. Now we're missing a lot of information as to WHY this specific answer is good for The Metatron, and how much Saraquiel knows, but it seems like he interprets this as an "I haven't lost yet, and I can still do my trick".

So now here we are, at the most important part of the episode, in my (and Aziraphale's) opinion. THE double meaning.

This line is insane. On the surface we have meaning 1) The Metatron is scolding over-zealous angels for meddling in this affair, and over reaching with their power, especially threatening to use the book of life on people. He's the good guy! But under the surface we have meaning 2) I HAVE THE BOOK OF LIFE and I have been using it on everybody in this room. If I don't get my way this time around, I will edit you guys again, and you will have done the right thing. And with that admission, Aziraphale severely twigs and becomes very afraid. From then on his voice shakes and he babbles, and he has trouble looking the Metatron in the eye. I'm willing to bet that this is the moment Aziraphale realizes what The Metatron just admitted: I am creating a version of reality as we speak where I change you and Crowley (and everyone else) so that you lose to me. A terrified Aziraphael goes off with The Metatron to have a chin wag. Now here's the trick.

We've already established that Maggie and Nina are here as stage assistants to The Metatron, so they need time to work on Crowley alone. If they talk to A/C together, like they would have without The Metatron's appearing in the scene before, better communication might have happened between them. He made Aziraphale disappear from the scene!

This does NOT look like the face of someone getting good news. We never heard what the details were besides inviting Crowley to the job promotion, so who knows what he threatened him with, but

This looks like the face of someone caught in a trap. So we are now seeing the prestige! We don't need that coffee anymore, that cup is GONE BABY. Aziraphale has been removed from the Nina/Maggie confession like a dove, and placed in The Metatron's dark coat pocket. Now he just needs to make our angel reappear in the scene the assistants have prepared for him and let him fail, thus completing the trick (uhg I hate it. So cruel).

I'm going to turn the final 15 into it's own post because this is already very long. Let's skip it for now, but we know our lovebirds get separated by heaven, and Aziraphale leaves. The Metatron breathes a huge sigh of relief in the elevator as he thinks his trick has worked, and he has won.

So it's finished now, and there's seemingly no way out. Aziraphale now knows what The Metatron meant when he communicated "I am creating a version of reality as we speak where I change you and Crowley and everything else so that you lose to me."

BUT! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SHIT? BECAUSE IT HIT ME LIKE LIQUID JET FUEL. And I think it hits Aziraphale right here, (when he makes the creepy face after being hit with a beam of light i.e. realization)

That means that in the original version of events before all the edits, Crowley & Aziraphale won.

------

If you've gotten this far, thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear what you thought, or even reblog it with your ✨Clues✨! Want to read more about the timey wimey business that we're gonna see in season 3, and why all this changes the final 15? Well I have *part 5* coming in just a bit. Parts 5 and The End are here! Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The End?

[roz-ani]

As someone who was absolutely thriving while watching episode 5 and being a huge fan of Alastor being a dad/mentor/godfather figure to Charlie, I think one thing needs to be made clear: Alastor doesn't see her as his daughter. He is, however, meant to slowly warm up to the idea of the Hotel and to the people living it. The thing that holds the audience back from fully grasping that idea is the show's pacing. As Al continues to be the best-written character in the show, I wanted to focus more on his motivation and actions in light of the events of episode 5, while also being aware of how much work the audience has to do to fill in the gaps created by the show's writing.

As fun and entertaining as the idea of Charlie and Alstor having this kind of bond is, it is not without its flaws.

Where did this idea of Al being supportive of Charlie's idea even come from? Obviously, the pilot. The Radio Demon shows up at the doorstep and offers his aid. He claims he's doing it for himself, but hey, he's still helping, right? Well, technically. The moment the Princess asks him if he believes in her cause, he laughs it off. He doesn't support her dream and does not necessarily want to make the Hotel work in the sense that he would like to see it succeed. Alastor is fully convinced it's a lost cause - hard work that doesn't pay off. He wants to see it function. He wants ongoing entertainment in the form of sinners failing to redeem themselves. Well, he doesn't get to watch that much if you look at how much redeeming there's actually going on it the show.

He provides the staff, renovates the building, even gives it its official name, and agrees to make the commercial to promote the establishment. The only issue he has with the last thing is the form of the promotion. If Charlie asked for a radio advertisement, he would definitely go out of his way to make it appealing. Would it actually work? Who knows? Probably not much, and we need to remember that no one can be forced or manipulated to stay at the Hotel.

Let's stop here for a moment, though. Now that we know that someone (Lilith... or maybe Eve, but let's leave that for another post) has Alastor on a leash, we can take a different look at the Demon offering Vaggie his help with the commercial. He was most likely sent to help with the establishment because Lilith does want to see Charlie's idea work. Alastor's contract most likely requires him to help and protect Lilith's daughter. Still, he wants to do it on his own terms. So the only requirement he makes is that he will not be involved with television in the future, even if it would help the cause.

Here we face our first problem. This is everything he does for the Hotel in the show. There is literally nothing more we see him do due to the limited number of episodes. We don't even see Charlie and Alastor talk. The last time they had a proper conversation was in the pilot.

Now, here we can notice what made people see Alastor as Charlie's father/mentor figure. In the pilot episode, and especially during his song number, Alastor goes out of his way to touch Charlie and even dances with her. He makes the building look more appealing, showing the owner he's capable of making her dream come true. He does that again episode 5.

Vivzie did say they have a good relationship. The Radio Demon actually likes Charlie's personality and appreciates her artistic talents. Unfortunately, we don't see it in the show itself. We just fill this gap by ourselves. If you want to understand better, put yourself in the shoes of a person who only saw the pilot, which is becoming less and less canon now, and immediately started watching the show without any behind-the-scenes information. Ask your friends to watch this show, like I did, and you'll see what the issue is.

But back to the main topic. Personally, I see Alasto as more of Charlie's (fairy) godfather. Just like the fairy in Cinderella's story, Alastor uses his powers to make the protagonist's dreams come true. He fulfills her requests, like the commercial, but adds his own twists, like the Hotel's name and the deal with Vaggie. I still remember he doesn't actually care about the cause, but it's still entertaining to see him working. Well, again, it would be, because we don't really see him doing that in the show itself.

So, time passes and Lucifer shows up. Now, if looks could kill, this episode would last less than 5 minutes. Alastor IMMEDIATELY hates Hell's boss. His eye starts twitching the moment he hugs Charlie. I would even argue the way he smiles while observing the preparations is much more sinister. He knows who's coming and he doesn't like it.

It doesn't take long before these two start their petty argument. I've seen people come up with a few main ideas for Al's pettiness towards Lucifer:

He hates that yet another power figure didn't recognise him. Partially. We know that Alastor's ego can be easily hurt. He's been gone for seven years and still thinks he's all that. Sure, he's still powerful, and he proves that in the episode, but he's not as relevant as he thinks he is. There is one issue with that argument, though. This is the first time these two meet, and Alastor shows his aversion to Lucifer the moment he arrives. I would say Charlie's father not recognising the Radio Demon just adds insult to the injury.

Alastor had an abusive father, and he hates Lucifer for acting similarly. Possibly. If we want to fill the gaps ourselves again or treat it as a headcanon. We don't know much about Al's childhood, only that he had a good relationship with his mother. If that is the case, we have yet to see it in the show.

Lucifer is the reason why Alastor is on Lilith's leash. Now, that's more likely. My guess is that after losing to Vox, Al made a deal with Lilith and the two of them were gone for 7 years. We have yet to learn what they were doing, but Lilith eventually sent the Radio Demon to help her daughter, while he saw his return as a chance to reestablish his position in Hell's hierarchy. Now, one could argue that was not necessarily hinted at in the episode as well, and I do agree. Yet, I do believe this is the most likely answer, as it would fit the plot and is the most likely part of Al's character to be explored in the future.

Alastor sees Lucifer as a threat to his work/an obstacle. That's an idea that popped into my head recently, and it's strongly connected to the previous theory. Alastor definitely knew that Charlie's dad was… not very supportive of her work. If he somehow managed to dissuade her, it would mean the Demon failed to fulfil his task/hold his end of the deal. It would not only absolutely ruin his ego but also have contract-related consequences.

I think we may explore this issue the future if the show is given a chance to do so. For now, I believe it's safe to say that the main reason for Alastor's aversion is his contract and personality.

But why the pettiness? Why the whole act about being Charlie's biggest supporter? Because Alastor is petty. His ego is quite fragile. We saw that when Carmilla dismissed his return or when Husk warned him about Mimzy. Just like Lucifer, he doesn't believe in Charlie's cause, but Lucifer makes Alastor's aversion even stronger by just straight-up insulting him and his work.

And if Al is willing to send a guy flying because of a coat (that's already torn at the bottom mind you), he's absolutely going to put such a person in their place. The thing is, he can't. Not in this case. We're talking about the King of Hell. Despite his mental state, he's still more powerful than any overlord. We can joke about Vox wishing to have this kind of rivalry with Alastor, but we do see the Radio Demon and the Fallen Anger going head-to-head during their song number. But if Lucifer is so powerful, how can Alastor "beat" him? Simple, by manipulation.

Here we come to the whole father-daughter relationship issue. Everything Alastor does and says is intended to piss off Lucifer. He keeps touching Charlie and talks to her in a way we have only seen during the song number in the pilot. While he does that, he gives her biological father a sinister look any chance he gets. "See? I'm winning. I can give her whatever she wants. In her eyes, I'm just like you if not better."

Now, we need to remember that Charlie is fully aware of Alastor's intentions. She knows he's aiding her for selfish reasons, so why isn't she completely taken aback by his sudden flow of affection and praise? Because it's Charlie we're talking about. In episode 3, she "confessed" that she loves the Hotel residents despite not being that close with them in the first place, and, well, she does have daddy issues. Whenever Alastor looks at her during the song, it feels like he's forcing Charlie to believe what he says and does. The Radio Demon is truly giving the Princess everything her father has failed to provide, and she falls for it. 

Remember, Alastor enjoyed watching children suffer after the Stock Market Crash of 1929. He is not a father material. Mentor? Sure. Father? Definitely not. That's why it feels so weird when he says he wishes he had a child of his own. He has never acted this way toward Charlie. He is willing to say anything to make her and Lucifer believe his intentions because he simply wants to win this argument, and he just happens to be in a position that allows him to exploit other people's insecurities. 

It makes sense, right? It sure does if we apply the suspension of disbelief notion here. Again, we haven't seen Alastor do any of the things he mentions in the song. The last time he and the Princess talked was in the pilot. We just assume they get along. I think this is especially visible when we stop to think about the fight near the end of the episode. Charlie claims Alastor is protecting the Hotel. It definitely looks like it at first, and we could argue that this is something he signed up for. However, Alastor basically admits that for him, this is a chance to show everyone why he still should be feared. He treats this as an opportunity for a power display. Not because he cares about the Hotel. The writers WANT us to believe that's the case by making Alastor send Mimzy away right after the fight is over. Nothing indicates he cares more about the Hotel. That's why people are not sure if we should treat Alastor's talk with Mimzy seriously. 

The show has already done that before, especially in episode 3 with Carmnilla and Vaggie. We know nothing of these two, and we are just supposed to bond with them and understand their way of thinking and actions. Some of that is even in episode 4, when Husk says what everyone's main deal is - Sir Pentious being insecure, Vaggie hating herself, Charlie wanting to resolve other people's problems instead of her own, and Angel Dust putting on an act. We haven't seen any of those people, besides Angel, talk to Husk before, and there was very little time to establish whether all those issues were actually the case. The only reason why we can believe Husk is because we know all that information from the crew, wiki trivia, and because the episode proves Husk was partially right about Angel, whose character act is probably the second-best established one in the show. We know we're meant to fill in the gaps, but there are moments when we're just confused once we turn on critical thinking.

So, Al's argument with Mizmzy is supposed to feel like he's starting to care more about the Hotel because Charlie tells us so and because we can guess that this is most likely Alastor's main character act. Paradoxically, the reason it's not so clear-cut is not just Hazbin Hotel's bad pacing, but Alastor being the best-written character in the show. We learn more and more about him, but there is still some mystery to his motivation. It is never laid out for us like it is with Vaggie (damn, she really is getting the short end of the stick). We're never told, "Hey, this is his deal".

This show is genuinely held back by its format. The writers pick the best, most relevant moments and put them together to create a narrative that ultimately feels incomplete. Interestingly, I think the people who realise it (and are not out there to absolutely tear the show down) are not exactly mad but disappointed. They tend to feel ambivalent or find it hard to care about the characters unless they choose to ignore the missing parts. I believe the show's redeeming qualities, like the voice acting, songs, and its heroes' personalities, make the problems easier to handle, but that doesn't change the fact that it's simply getting more and more frustrating. 

Nowadays, writers are left with two choices: severely changing their story or opting for bad writing/pacing to fulfil their vision. Hazbin Hotel's creators clearly went for the second option. We don't know what exactly was changed because of the budget and the show's format, but the main premise is just not present in the series. We're not observing much redeeming, and the whole deal with Heaven feels like a season 2 plot idea. Are the writers doing their best with what they have? It depends on what we consider "doing your best." Personally, I understand they want to make the series entertaining. They want people to be intrigued and interested in the premise, but the execution is just hopeless. Just because you can do more doesn't mean you should. What looks good on paper is not always going to work in a different medium. Show, don't tell.

You can't expect the audience to fill in the gaps for your sake all the time. What you think is intriguing may be just another reason for people to realise how lacklustre your creation is. 

I know it sounds like I'm just blaming the crew, but I am fully aware that they're not Benioff and Weiss. They would absolutely accept more episodes. Just like with Charlie, their efforts are futile when they're not fully in control. Still, that doesn't change the fact that the final outcome is deeply flawed. As an audience, we can't just keep saying, "Well, they wanted to do more, but the studios didn't let them." Yes, that is the whole problem. Yes, studios shouldn't have so much power over someone's creation. Hazbin Hotel's writers are trying their best, but not with the pacing. They are making everything else redeem the issues with the story progression. While the show is genuinely enjoyable, it is mainly so when you, as a viewer, decide to turn a blind eye to the pacing. When you convince yourself that as long as something fun and plot-relevant happens, the show is well-written. I don't want Hazbin Hotel to be perfect. I want it to realize that some things should be prioritised.