#( i say this trying to be hopeful im so scared im gonna lose everything i have on here)

[theclosetedskeleton]

ONE OF THESE DAYS IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE/NEG

[gibbearish]

hi i’m not really sure how to do this but i came from your uquiz and you seem knowledgeable and nice and so i’m asking you a question now i’m sorry

uhm, so, i think i maybe might be trans (ftm) because i’m super dysphoric and i sometimes look at guys and i get really jealous because they just get to, like, exist like that (i’m not really sure what the “that” is, but god, do i want it) and i very much don’t and when i refer to myself using he/him pronouns in my head it feels, uhm, at the risk of being a cliche, right, i guess.

but the thing is that i don’t really fit into any of the stereotypical trans guy things. like a lot of my friends when i was little were girls and though i have some stereotypically masculine hobbies (sports and physics) i also sew, and when i was little i was obsessed with being a princess for like a month before i started refusing to wear dresses.

i don’t think i’m non-binary, i tried using they/them pronouns this summer and while they didn’t actively hurt like she does, they didn’t really feel right.

so, like, am i lying to myself? i don’t know, maybe i just want to be special (i don’t want it, though, if i could just be happy as a girl i would).

sorry i just unloaded half an essay on you you obviously don’t have to reply and i know you’re probably not qualified to answer anyway, i just needed to tell someone, you know?

anyways, i hope you’re having a nice night or day or whatever. thank you, for, like, existing on the internet i guess. your quiz was very nice. bye.

howdy anon! dw i am always glad to answer questions abt this stuff even tho it make take me a while lol

my best advice for situations like this is i know its easy but don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of "well this is the label that makes me feel best but i dont technically check off every single box for it so am i just lying?" people arent video game quests, you dont have to hit every single box for it to count, youre allowed to have stuff fall outside the technical definition of a term while still calling yourself it. im very similar to you, i was in tap and ballet growing up, wore dresses and makeup for most of highschool, sewing crocheting knitting the whole shebang. but the important part is that none of those things make a difference to your identity. knowing how to sew doesnt make you a girl, it can just make you a guy who knows how to sew. its a thing you do, not who you are.

all that being said, i think another helpful angle to look at things is "does the distinction between two similar labels actually make a difference to me?" using myself as an example again, i dont call myself a trans man because while i do prefer presenting masculine, for some reason the term 'man' just doesnt feel right for me. but at the same time, to the rest of the world that's functionally what i am, right? so does that change /who/ i am? no. so for me personally, ive deliberately chosen not to file myself into either "trans man" or "nonbinary" and just move on with my day, because to me it doesnt actually make a difference which one i am, im still gonna stay on t, i still want top surgery, i still want to be perceived masculine, and thats not gonna change no matter what name is on the box so who gives a shit. just do what makes you happy

[luvyeni]

𐙚 : WEAR A VIBRATOR W/ DREAMIES 00' LINERS ֶָ֢ !

request: wearing a vibrator with nct dream , if you're comfortable plzz.

authors note. i hope you like it , i know you probably wanted all the members but my brain wasn't fully working😭🩷

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

𐙚 : RENJUN ֶָ֢ !

this was a punishment to him , you wanna wear that tiny ass skirt to lunch, giving his friends a look at your pretty ass that was only his to see — fine , now try to not moan like a slut in front of them , pray they dont hear the buzzing of the vibrator that was stuffed inside your messy cunt. he's relentless , never letting you cum , turning it off as soon as you were about to cum , you slammed your hand on the table out of frustration , making everything turn to you. "you okay?" mark asked concerned, you nodded , biting the inside of your cheek as he once again turned the vibrator back on. once everyone turned back to their conversations , he turned to you scowl on his face , leaning over to your ear.

"keep being a fucking brat , i'll make sure you won't cum at all slut."

𐙚 : JENO ֶָ֢ !

gaming with jeno was a fun activity for you — gaming with jeno with a vibrator stuffed inside you while you wore his head set trying not to moan was a fun activity for jeno; watching you struggle to play , not moan and curse at haechan made his cock chub in his shorts. "keep them on." he used your body, grinding his cock against yours. "why aren't you saying anything yn , you scared." he chuckled , if only haechan knew. "fu-fuck off." he hissed , hitting your thigh. "language baby." he lifted you up , pulling his cock to the side , stuffing his cock inside your cunt with the vibrator still inside , throwing his back as he turned it up. "why are you huffing so much?" you couldn't take it anymore and neither could jeno , taking the headphones from you. "fuck, we'll log back on later." he groaned , the last thing you heard was haechan yelling gross into the mic before he was picking you up, holding you.

"shit ,im about to ruin this pretty pussy."

𐙚 : HAECHAN ֶָ֢ !

not only are you wearing wearing a vibrator, but he's wearing vibrating cock ring— now it's a challenge on who could make the other cum first without your friends catching on to what you were doing. haechan saw how nonchalant you were being , meanwhile he was losing his mind trying not moan your name, and end up being embarrassed by the boys, turning the setting up , watch your legs twitch, hands gripping the table , he knew you were about to cum , he just had to hold it out a little longer. he swore he had it— until you squeezed his cock , he bit his tongue as he came , his thighs shaking making you smirk. "fuck we gotta go." he said. "yn has work in the morning." he quickly dragged you out of the building to his car. "why'd you want to leave?" you smirked.

"don't play dumb, you know i came , and im gonna fucking cum again if you don't turn that stupid thing off."

𐙚 : JAEMIN ֶָ֢ !

you gave him the remote — this was your doing; you were the one who gave him this freedom to do what he wanted to you , so of course he was gonna use it to his advantage. smirking as you struggled to keep still in your seat as you talked to marks girlfriend , your eyes locking with his with a pleading look , he pouted , tilting his head in faux sympathy as he raised the number , you body jolted , making marks girlfriend concerned. "you okay?" you hummed , nodding softly excusing yourself as you ran to the bathroom. jaemin stood up , tucking the remote away before telling everyone he was gonna go check on you , following behind you knocking on the bathroom door. "princess?" he heard you whining, pushing the door open. "pl-please turn it off." he chuckled , reaching in his pocket handing it too you , quickly snatching it away. "silly girl."

"why would i do that princess , do you really not want to cum that bad?"

©️LUVYENI

[twilightnesss]

˚ ༘ ◝ are we still friends?

pairing: kate martin x bestfriend!oc

summary: after hooking up with one of her childhood best friends, kate finds it hard to keep the friendship.. friendly.

warnings: none

divider from @anitalenia

abigail’s eyes fluttered open slowly trying to take in her surroundings. the room she was in was very familiar, her best friend kate’s dorm. her nerves began to calm until she noticed that she was completely naked waist down. her breath hitched and her body froze. she sat up on her elbows quickly to see articles of both the girls clothing scattered around the room. as she looked around hastily, she soon heard footsteps coming towards the specific dorm room.

abi tried to put on her clothes quickly before having to run anto anyone she didn’t want to. she got up from the bed, ass still out looking for her under in the mess around the room. as she was bent over, she heard the door open and looked back ashamed.

kate didn’t look half as bad as eye did. her hair was tamed but her face was still puffy as if she hadn’t woken up that long before me. “morning g.” she muttered with a small smile. abi just nodded her head rushing to get out of there, trying not to leave anything. she eventually got all her clothes on but couldn’t find her cellphone for her life. kate just watched her every move, looking up and down for her phone.

they both knew how stressful the situation was but kate was taking it way easier. last night was everything she had ever wanted and more. the light haired girl paced in front of kate a few more times before kate grabbed her wrist so they could come face to face. for some reason, abi couldn’t get herself to look in kate’s face. almost like the was embarrassed from last night events.. knowing she’s not.

“talk to me abi.” kate’s voice was extremely warm and inviting as she rubbed abigail’s arm as a way of comfort. this action may have made her wanna go another round

but instead she let out a defeated sigh and shakily said “im just trying to find my phone kate. please.” kate’s hand fell by her side before she reached into her sweatpants pocket and pulled out abi’s phone, handing it to the shorter girl. “i was just sending our videos to myself” she said backing up to lay out in her bed. abigail stood there dumbfounded completely. she couldn’t even believe the had sex first of all but now there’s videos??? she was definitely gonna look at those later

the two were in this distanced position for a minute or two before abigail semi stormed out. it was expected but still hurt kate. she was scared of catching feelings but even more scared to lose her best friend all together.

few days later

today was game day. kate had found it hard to even focus on todays game. all she could think of was abigail. her face, her body, her voice, everything. they hadn’t been in contact since the other night. kate hoped and prayed that abi would show up to her game today even though she didn’t really expect it.

but to her surprise, abigail had shown up. she tried to hide herself but kate could spot her from a mile away. knowing that abi even showed up made her extremely happy and threw her back on her game.

by the end of the night, iowa obviously won but their captain wasn’t focused on that. she was focused on getting to talk to her girl by the end of the night. Kate quickly changed her clothes in an attempt to catch Abi leaving or even outside. unfortunately when kate came out of the locker room, she was stopped up by fans. taking pictures, answering questions, and signing merchandise. before she knew it she was in a post-game interview. her answers were rushed but that didn’t seem to cut the interview in half. if anything it made it longer.. having more questions to ask.

when the interview was over, kate sluggishly rose from her seat and continued to walk outside the arena. she was discouraged to say the least. her heart knew that when she went through those double doors, the person she wanted to see the most would not be on the other side.

but to her surprise, abigail was there.. waiting on the other side. kate didn’t get the reaction she wanted though. she expected abigail’s face to light up when she saw her best friend but instead it drooped into a deep frown. this was ignored tho.

“hey. glad you waited for me” kate spoke first. “yep. can we talk” abigail questioned avoiding the blondes gaze once again.

this sentence made kate’s stomach drop to her ass. there was no way this would end well.

“look i know you think the other night was a mistake and i thought that way too at first but i can’t deny it. i love you abi. like so much and we could work something out no matter what” kate expressed stepping closer to her best friend, rubbing her cheek gently.

“kate”

a/n: i was tired of writing this sorry it’s short (def a pattern for me) but there will be a pt.2. there’s been a lot of requests for a pt2 of “pool party” but idek what to do for that so if yall have any ideas

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

OK BUT SPENCER'S AND BAU TEAM REACTION TO TTPD????

spencer reid x famous!reader

warnings: miscarriage (will put a warning before and after), im basing most of the mention/emotions of miscarriages with my experience with my sister who has gone through a couple while she was trying for a baby as well as research i did, mention of weed

note: this has taken a while to write cause i wanted to interpret the songs on my own time before applying then to the au, so i hope it was worth the wait!

this quickly became my analysis of the songs (in the context of the au) rather than the bau's reactions

feel free to send a message to my inbox about what you think their reactions would be/fav songs i love hearing about that stuff from y'all 🩷

Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)

I don't picture this song to be about Spencer. I see it as more fictional in the way folklore and evermore were more fictional inspired by different things that have happened in her life. Also I feel like Emily likes Post Malone so she was excited for this song, and Penny love the ai fortnight but love the real fortnight better.

Spencer is always worried when a sadder song comes out that it's about him, but reader always reassures him that it's not and that she loves him.

The Tortured Poets Department

THIS SONG IS SO SPENCER REID CODED. "you're in self-sabotage mode" !!!!

I feel like this is Rossi's fav off the album 🤷‍♀️

I said this in an ask a while ago but sometime in 2020, maybe 2021, they had a sort of break and this song was written during that time for sure.

"but you told Penny you'd kill if I ever leave, and I said that to Jack about you so I felt seen, everyone we know why it's meant to be, cause we're... crazy" I feel like this line really explains the break they were on. Like they were so co-dependant and loved each other so much that it was the problem. Everyone knows they're meant for each other but they still get in their own way, Spencer with not wanting to get married when reader did, and reader not wanting Spencer to spend so much time with work. And they just weren't thinking of the same things at that time.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

"He saw forever so he smashed it up" reminds me of "i wouldn't marry me either" but in 'you're losing me' she's blaming herself for the break whereas in this song she realized that it was Spencer and his commitment issues. Which always makes me think of the line "I'll tell you that he runs because he loves me" which can be seen as a really sad line but I think in this instance it's that she wants to accept him for all his faults, he's going to run sometimes when he gets scared but he always comes back, and they're working on that.

"Once i fix me, he's gonna mix me" reminds me very much like 'you're losing me'

"Stole my tortured heart, felt all these broken parts, told me I'm better off... but I'm not" do I have to say commitment issues and self-sabotage again?

Down Bad

Emily loves this song. She loves the vibes, she loves the lyrics, just everything.

In my eyes, it's about Spencer. Reminds me of "told me I'm better off... but I'm not."

So Long, London

Penelope's favourite part of the album is the opening of this song, first time hearing it she said it sounded like wedding bells.

In Virginia there's a town called New London thats 2hrs from Quantico... It's meant to be.

"Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away" you guys gonna make me say commitment issues every time?

She's clearly talking about her side of when they both weren't communicating and how he hurt her when he couldn't commit.

She really thought it was over when she wrote this.

But Daddy I Love Him

The shock in that room when she said "I'm having his babies!"... Derek found it hilarious, the girls were having a heart attack.

I think she's not not writing about Spencer in this song. Idk how else to explain, like it's kinda about backlash from every time she gets in a relationship no matter with who, which happened with Spencer so she's talking about that but not that exclusively. Does that make sense?

Fresh Out The Slammer

I think this song is about getting out of a relationship and now you're free to be with someone else who you've had your eye on. This song was written so long ago it's basically a rep vault track. In this au when reader and Spencer met reader was with Tom (i think??) but still gave Spencer her number and called him after she broke up with Tom, and that was the birth of this song.

Florida!!! (ft. Florence + The Machine)

Written about the idea of getting away, taking a break from life, while her and Spencer were on their break. She needed a break, all her friends were either single and smell like weed or they had kids and she wanted kids, but Spencer wasn't ready, so she had to get away from what reminded her of him.

Guilty as Sin?

"What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh only in my mind" she's imagining what it would be like if they got back together.

Is the second half of this song when she says "they're gonna crucify me anyway,,, i choose you and me, religiously.." And the song sounds like it ended but they she comes back in with the chorus, cause she thought it was over but now they're back better than ever.

"One slip falling into a hedge maze" a labyrinth is a hedge maze, because she fell back in love.

The last "Am I allowed to cry" is almost like can I cry from relieve? Relieve that it worked.

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?

This song is Spencer Reid coded.

Derek and Emily love badass-ery of this song. Pen loves the production "I love the production of this song!" "I'll pass that along to Jack."

Spencer just can't help but tell her he loves and is proud of her after hearing it.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

This is about a past relationship, no way can I see this to be about Spencer.

I feel like JJ really likes this song.

loml

This song was written, probably not too long after 'you're losing me' when they had that break and she was in the depression stage. She wrote this when she thought she lost him, she thought she did all she could and still lost him.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

warning!!!miscarriage

I had written down the idea of them having miscarriage in my notes app a couple weeks or maybe even a month before the album, cause of the song 'bigger than the whole sky' and when I heard this song with this in mind it broke my heart, that I knew I had to do it.

I'm thinking they were trying for a while and having lots of trouble, then stopped when the tour idea was falling in place, but she ended up miscarrying during the practice for the tour while not knowing she was pregnant. Likely she didn't know because she was on birth control and because she was working so hard and so busy with Midnights and the tour.

So with all the trouble they were having trying to get pregnant, Spencer was grieving in his own way, sadly it hurt reader a lot. He was angry, he probably said things he didn't mean, they were both feeling so much sadness and anger and they couldn't handle it. I think at this time, they were still going to bed every night together, but it was off and they no longer spent time together. Spencer needed the time to himself, when all reader needed was time with him (want to be clear no one is in the wrong in this situation, it's just a fucking bad situation)

"He said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short" has two meaning (they were having a boy)

"I can hold my breath, I've been doing it since he left. I keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole time, I'm sure I can pass this test." 😭 Like referring to her baby, and since they'd been trying before they had a couple baby things like clothes that she couldn't stop herself from getting in hopes 😭😭😭

end of warning

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Every verse I see as being about a different relationship. Working on re-records it's bring up old feelings and I think she just collectively put all the feelings into this song.

Spencer was beyond scared it was about him, he was already apologizing for making her feel that way before she could tell him it's not about him.

The Alchemy

This idea I have is so silly, that I think it works???

Spencer once said off-handedly that his job was kinda like football, it was strategy, and you failed a lot but sometimes things just fell into place like a puzzle. And reader ran with that idea, like she couldn't sleep that bight and just had the silly thought of Spencer, her Spencer, playing football and wrote this. Little off topic but I also think this about 'Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince' lol

Clara Bow

The self-name drop. The team's jaws were on the floor, their eyes were wide. When Pen realizes she's like "DID YOU JUST DAY YOUR OWN NAME??!?"

The Black Dog

Maybe like the team was seeing how Spencer was down recently and brought him out to a bar after work.

And Spencer didn't 'forget' to turn off his location he never did because he still had the hope that the relationship wasn't over, that this was just a rough patch.

imgonnagetyouback

Spoiler alert: she got him back.

Because no matter how much they hurt each other they're in love. And it reminds me of a boygenius lyric "You could absolutely break my heart, that's how I know that we're in love." that lyric in bodies them.

The Albatross

This is like a sister song to 'peace'

This song to me is obviously about the narrative that she's the problem. She's the one destroying all her relationships.

And she's telling Spencer in this song "I've been through this before, it doesn't matter."

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

This song is her thinking about them seeing other people. Her imagining him with other people, how much that hurts.

And around 2020-2021 maybe there were rumours about her seeing some athlete or something cause of 'And you saw my bones out with somebody new, who seemed like he would've bullied you in school'

And maybe not the entire song is about him (that's me trying to make him sound better) I see it as mostly her thinking off some what-ifs.

I think they both caused each other a lot of pain, but their love out-ways that completely.

How Did It End?

Written the same night as the Black Dog and she's thinking about what Spencer tells the team.

I see the fact she says 'it's happening again' instead of 'it's happened again' tells us that this is not a sure thing, she's thinking about what people will think if it does end.

So High School

What if it's just a lover vault track lol.

I Hate It Here

I think Penny really likes this song.

It's definitely written in the state of mind of the prophecy, that she's just not meant to be loved but she wants to so badly. So she escapes into her mind which I picture is folklore/evermore.

thanK you aIMee

They love the petty vibes, probably was Penny that first showed or sent a TikTok of North listening to reader's music and was like "girl, you see this yet?"

I Look in People's Windows

In this au I see this as a folklore or evermore vault track.

The Prophecy

Very similar to 'how did it end' and 'i hate it here'

Cassandra

Again it's very similar to 'mad women' so maybe she chose which one to put on folklore and put the other on this album.

Peter

I think she wrote this as a break up song, with a lot of metaphors but what sticks out to me is in the bridge.

"Cause loves never lost when perspective is earned, and you said you'd come and get me but you were 25,,,forgive me peter please know that i tried to hold on to the days that you were mine."

Spencer was 25 in this au when they met and it's so perfect and sad and I love it.

The Bolter

In this au the 'She' in this song is reader.

Robin

I feel boring by saying I think it's another track written in the fictional world of folklore and evermore, but for the au that's what I think!

The Manuscript

In the directors on directors interview she called the All too well short film script 'the manuscript' that's all the evidence I need.

Spencer encouraged her to write this song, because he saw all the emotions she was dealing with while writing/directing the short film.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

[mikachacha]

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚘𝚘 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛) 𝙿𝚝. 3

Synopsis: Bada wanted you to stay in Korea with her as she found work there but then your relationship is falling apart rapidly.

Warnings: toxic relationship and behaviours, angst. This'll be pretty heavy so please if you're not into this kind of stuff, you can ignore this update and wait for the regular fluffs and smuts 🫶🫶

(A/N: i hope none of y'all are experiencing this in real life or if you have experienced this, im so sorry that you have gone through such shit relationship but don't give up, yeah? Things will get better eventually.)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

It hasn't been well for you and Bada ever since that incident while meeting her friends. You still couldn't believe how she can do that to you. You wanted to get away but at the same time you want to mend your relationship with her. You didn't wanna lose her despite everything that has happened. Plus she's showing lots of effort for you to forgive her. She even got an apartment in Seoul so you and her can live there and won't have to pretend to be best friends anymore like you did at her parents' house. It was a big step for you both but then it also meant that whenever a fight would break out between you and her, you had no one to run off to.

"Jesus.. You scared me!" you exclaimed. You were in the kitchen, making some tea since you just couldn't fall asleep. You've been having a hard time falling asleep the past few days as thoughts plague your mind. Bada noticed you weren't in bed next to her so she got up and searched for you, only to find you making tea in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry my love.. Didn't mean to scare you. Was just confused since you weren't there beside me. Having trouble falling asleep?" she asked and you nodded. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in for a warm embrace and kissing the top of your head. You melted in her arms. You missed moments like this with her.

"Baby.. I may need to go back to the states soon. I got a job offer there." you told her and she hugged you even tighter, like it's her own way of telling that you shouldn't go back and to just stay with her in Korea.

"Y/N.. Do you really wanna leave me all alone here? I got this apartment for us and then you're gonna go back to the states?" Bada's questions made your heart ache. You didn't wanna leave her despite everything.

"I.. I don't know if I'll be able to find a job here, Bada.. I don't speak Korean that well and I don't want you to shoulder all the expenses for us." you tried to reason with her that led to an hour long discussion about applying as an English teacher there or working from home as long as you don't leave her. You were tired and just wanted to sleep so you agreed. The next morning, Bada helped you search for jobs before she went to her own. She has been hired as a teacher at a dance studio nearby and she's got to work with artists as well. You're happy for her since it has been her dream to be able to work with artists and teach people to dance.

"So baby, we're going somewhere this Friday. The studio is holding a welcome party for me and I want you to be there with me. I want you to meet my workmates and some friends." Bada said as she came home one day. What happened when you last went out with her to meet with someone didn't end up well but you wanted to move past that and you also didn't want to disappoint her so you agreed to go with her. You really don't want to start an argument with her as you're still trying to fix your relationship up.

"Yeah.. Is it a formal event? Do I need to really dress up?" you asked and she placed her head on your shoulder. She played with your hand, drawing patterns and kissing it.

"Maybe a dress would be fine. It's not too formal plus you look amazing either way." Bada says that made your heart flutter and heat to creep up your cheeks. She really knows how to win you over even with just words.

The night of the event came and it was rather chill. You didn't feel that out of place since you've been studying Korean when you had time to spare. You were able to hold conversations and didn't cling to Bada that much. You were having fun, chattering with some of Bada's friends when you saw something that shattered you to pieces. It was Bada and a girl who looked so familiar. It was Redy, one of Bada's exes before she started dating you. She was clinging to Bada like they're still a couple and the sight made you feel physically sick that you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom. You're just crying there, trying to convince yourself that it's probably nothing and that you're just overthinking stuff when the door opened and there stood one of Bada's dancer friends.

"Hey are you okay? What happened? Should I call Bada to come here?" the woman asked and you shook your head, wiping your tears away. You're embarrassed that this stranger saw you in a vulnerable state.

"Y-yeah I'm okay.. Sorry you had to see me like this.. But I'm good, everything's good. No need to call Bada." you assured her and she offered to help you freshen up which really helped you calm down.

"I'm Monika by the way and if you need to talk to someone, you can reach me via Instagram." Monika says and you followed her on instagram to which she reciprocated. You thanked her and gave her a hug just in time that Bada came in the bathroom, looking for you and saw you hugging Monika. The look on her face terrified you and your heart sank knowing that this will be another fight between you and her.

Monika excused herself when she saw Bada and now, you're left alone with your girlfriend who looked really pissed off. She looked at you before grabbing you firmly by the wrist and basically dragged you back to the car. The whole car ride was filled with deafening silence but it was a whole different scenario when you were finally inside your shared apartment.

"So what was that all about? Lusher told me that you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and haven't returned after 20 minutes. What were you doing there? Flirting with Monika?! What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N?! Am I not enough?!" Bada yelled at you and you flinched. She was still holding on to your wrist rather tightly and it's starting to hurt now.

"Let me go, Bada.. You're hurting me.." you told her and she did let you go but she didn't stop yelling at you and accusing you of cheating.

"Hurting you? Have you ever thought about how much you've hurt me when I saw you hugging Monika?! Who knows what else happened there!" Bada was absolutely furious and you're starting to get pissed off as well. She's accusing you of cheating yet you saw her and Redy looking like they're still together while Bada couldn't be bothered to even check on you, spend at least a minute with you in that party.

"You're really going absolutely crazy about me hugging Monika when you were the one having her ex cling to them and couldn't be bothered to check on their girlfriend the whole night! I was crying in that damn bathroom because you were never there for me, you were paying more attention to your damn ex more than me! How was I supposed to react to that, huh?!" you finally snapped back and Bada just stormed off to your shared bedroom and locked you out so you slept on the couch that night.

The days went by and you could really feel you and Bada drifting apart. She wouldn't even look at you, wouldn't speak to you. It was horrible and you felt like everything was your fault. How did it come to this? What went wrong? Where was the Bada you once knew and loved? You were about to message her when a friend messaged you first, asking if you and Bada broke up since all your pictures together are apparently deleted from Bada's socials which was a shock to you. You checked and sobs wracked your body at what you saw. It was true, it seems like Bada has erased you from her life already.

With a heavy heart, you grabbed all your belongings and packed your bags. You left the apartment and booked a hotel. You're just gonna stay there for a bit until you can find a cheap apartment to stay. You were planning on leaving Korea once your contract with the company you're currently working at ends. You deactivated all your socials and only kept in touch with your friends and family from the states. You just wanted to be alone and away from Bada to really think things through. To think if the relationship is still worth it or if you needed to just let go of it.

—————

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

@lil-elliesgf, @efyyylee, @hwm1hyun, @mikaleialt, @bunnywonyo, @badaswifey, @mrs-grim-reaper

[iouinotes]

Heroic love (part 4) | Luke Castellan

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: betrayal, dark romance, no verbal consent, angst, smut MINORS DONT INTERACTE

summary: Luke finds out your plan and you give in. After all, it is better to be with him than with the monsters that suround you.

authors note: The reader joins Luke rather unwillingly, even though she still loves him. I just want to say up front that Luke's threat at the end is not meant serious. He would never do something like that to her. He only does it so that she realizes that there is no other way than to join him. If it's too dark, I'm sorry... @qwertydddddddddd wanted to be tagged, so I hope you enjoy it <33

Sometimes you think to yourself, this is real love. I'm gonna marry this person. I will spend my life with them, building a home and a family.

Well thats the regular scenario, I mean for the people who are regular. Not demigods.

And you see, even though we dont have an easy life, fighting monsters, losing friends, being scared and anxious all the time, that some bad evil guy suddenly wants to rule the world- we live. Because we have to and because we have each other.

So, for me, I was prepared for it to become harsh. I always knew my life would be like sitting on a rollercoaster, never having the chance to exit.

But I found comfort in this reality. I would imagine being on this attraction, but holding onto something that grounds me. Someone that gives me strengh, so I don't lose myself.

For a long time, I held hands with Luke.

Then of course, something did go terrible wrong, as if they goddess Aphrodite wanted to watch an exciting, action packed romance movie, with the plot twist of I-hate-to-love-you-because-you-left-me trope. Something like this.

Well, I think the movie sucks. In the last months, everything was just not right- Luke leaving camp to join Kronos? Betraying everyone and kidnapping me? Showing up here, messing with me and then holding my own dagger to my throat? (Deja vu)

No, that just isnt what I Imagined to happen in the future. I didnt want my boyfriend to turn into the bad guy, who we swore to fight.

But now I guess, thats up to me. At least some part of it.

"I think Luke ist turning into Darth Vader." Sometimes I'm not sure whats going on in Percys head.

"I never heard of this monster?" Annabeths parents are so wrong for not watching Star Wars with her.

"Guys, after we discussed this, you can have your movie night. But please, let's focus." My voice sounds harsher than I intended, so I immediately feel bad about it.

"Sorry, it's just very complicated. I want to know what our next steps are, what we are planning to do with this- situation." I don't know how else to call it.

"We need information. Who is the spy? What are Kronos plans? Where will he attack? Who joined him? So many unanwered questions." Chirons voice sends a shiver down my neck. He's right, but how do we achieve it?

Percys gaze unnerves me and when I turn my head to meet his eyes, he immediately shakes his head.

"I am not letting you alone with him this time. Nope." I sign, conflicted how I would want to deal with this.

All eyes are on me and when I turn to them, I try to explain my plan. But I cant even finish my second sentence and already everyone seems to be against it.

"We cant let him out!"

"He will kill us!"

"His army is already searching for him, he would escape!"

Annabeth raises her hand and the voices calm down. As she looks at me, I sense her own doubts about the situation.

"They are right. How do you know he would trust you? Could you convince him?"

I nod my head, ignoring my doubts.

"I can."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

The moon shines beautifully in the sky, but it helps nothing to calm down my nerves. Im so stupid, why did I thought I could pull this off?

"Youre sure, you want to do this? You dont have to." Percy's standing next me, as always trying to comfort me.

"He will believe me. I always had dreams, where I thought he-" I need a moment to finish my sentence.

"-died. That he got hurt or is in pain. When I had this sort of dream, I would always sneak out of my cabin and came to him. I would walk into his cabin and he somehow always knew what happend. He would tuck me in his bed, letting me cry and cuddling me. Resurring me that everything is going to be okay, that he will live. That was always my biggest fear, that he would die and I would be helpless to do anything against it. He knows that."

We stand in silence for a moment.

"If you need me, I will be there. Just be careful." I smile at him.

I take a deep breath and go trough the doors, seeing that the only light he has, is a small lamp on the ceiling. I quicken my pace so he can hear me coming. When I stand in front of his cell, he is already on his feet. He looks alarmed.

"What-" his t-shirt is wrinkled and his eyes are sleepy. My breath catches and I don't even have to pretend to be confused and afraid, standing in front of him alone in the dark is enough.

The bars are the only thing that separates us.

At first I don't say anything, I just look at him with watery eyes. And just like I said, he knows it. He always knows.

"Another nightmare?" His voice is so gentle, it makes me remember the old days when everything was good. When he took me in his arms and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I just nod, I don't think my voice is stable enough yet.

I have to play the role, I can do it. He has to believe me.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands, all the despair and pain I've been carrying for weeks suddenly coming out of me. I'm crying so hard that I'm almost afraid of waking up the others.

"Shit, princess- what can I do? Let me help, please." He sounds so desperate and it's only now that I realize, that I don't actually have to act. Because my tears are real.

"Y-you ruined everything! And I'm still s-so scared that something h-happens to you" I meet his gaze and see the remorse in his eyes. His heart hurts too.

"I didn't want something like that to happen- please, darling. Come here." Sniffling, I stand up. My knees feeling weak and unsteady. If I go in there now, I won't be able to defend myself properly.

“You hurt me, I shouldn’t even be here. You're an idiot, Luke. I hate-" but I can't bring myself to say it. I cant say that I hate him. Because I don't, at least not yet.

"I know, believe me. I hate myself too. Only your belief in me has always held me together." He grips the bars, I see the inner conflict within him.

"But you won't change. You've never been able to do that well." I know I'm right and he knows it too. Silence surrounds us.

"Let me hold you. Just for- a few minutes. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this. You've always been the sunshine in my life. I don't want my sun to be obscured."

The key jingles in my hand and I look at it uncertainly.

"I won't hurt you, never again, I promise. I also got an anklet. I can't escape." His eyes look so honest. I'm feeling nervous, my heart is beating way too fast.

I put the key in the lock and open the door, freezing in my movements for a moment. What am I doing here? But then I hear his voice and I know why.

“It’s not that comfortable on the floor, but you can sit on my lap." I close the door.

As I move towards him I see how thin he has become and how brown his eyes still are.

Slowly, he raises his hands and when I stand in front of him he puts them around my waist. My knees buckle and I sink carefully onto his lap. My hands rest uncertainly on his shoulders, then moving down to his neck. Playing with the strands of his hair, lost in thoughts.

His face is right in front of mine, both of our breaths are uneven. His hands linger on me, holding me tight to him. Warmth fills my chest as I look into his eyes.

"You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful." A sob tries to escape me, as I do something, I always loved. I put my head in the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me for a few minutes, stroking my back and whispering soothing, sweet nothings in my ear.

Once I've calmed down, I'm basically lying on top of him and can hear his heartbeat. It's almost soporific.

"Luke?" my voice is calm.

His head turns to me. "Yes?"

"I...I want to be with you. I don't care how or- or where. I just know that I can't live without you." I see his eyebrows furrow.

"You dont mean-" I am silent. Just looking at him, sitting up a little, straddling him.

"I need you. I tried not to need you. But it's out of my control, nothing helps to ease the pain. Only you, only you matter."

Is it the truth if the words escape me so easily?

His hand finds my cheek and I lean into his touch.

"We're the only ones that matter. We will get through this, together and united. You don't have to fight my darling, you just have to be by my side." His hand around my waist pulls me towards him, the other one, he continues to lay on my cheek. Caressing the skin, drawing invisible heart-shapes.

Then his lips meet mine and my eyes flutter shut. The kiss so intoxicating, that I forget for a moment my real intention. Forget why I'm participating in this madness.

As he pulls away from me, I hear his whispering voice.

"You won't betray me, right? You won't do that to me?" He tugs on my hair, ever so slightly, to get my attention.

"No, Luke. I won't." Lie.

The key in my hand is no longer idle as I remove his shackles carefully.

"Then princess, let's get out of here." I slowly get off his lap, but before I stand up, he lifts me up in his arms.

"I promise you that I will never hurt you again. You deserve only the best." As cliche as it is, he carries me out of the cell, which isnt locked anymore.

He lets me down outside and breathes in the fresh air. It's still night, maybe 4 a.m. Everything is quiet.

His hands cup my face and place several kisses on my skin.

"You are incredible, I knew you would join me. For real this time." He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I don't see Percy anywhere.

"Let's go. I know where my troops are stationed. Nobody will notice that we're gone until it's too late."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Joining Kronos' army was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and that includes keeping the truth from Luke.

That I'm a spy for the camp, better hidden than anyone else ever could. No one would accuse or suspect the leader's girlfriend, because everyone can see how much I love him.

After all, it's the only reason I'm tolerated here. Because Luke would kill anyone who even came near me. He has already done it to a dragon lady who was too pushy and even when I tried to stop him, he showed no mercy.

Because he can't afford to do that, if he shows that he has a heart, it will be taken away from him.

Every day it is torture to witness this evil, to help maintain cover, to save my friends.

And every day I feel worse, because I lie to Luke. But it is the only way. I cannot help in the camp, if my heart is somewhere else. Here, with him, my thoughts are not always here, but my heart is.

At least it's enough for me to function. When Luke isn't distracting me.

When I wake up that morning on the Princess Andromeda, it is still quiet. In the presence of these monsters, I have not been able to sleep well for months. Even the dreams I have, make me wake up in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms me down is Luke's touch.

His fingers gently stroke my exposed skin, and as I turn my head and look at him, I see an emotion in his eyes, I've only recently noticed. There is a desire in his gaze, as if he wanted to consume my entire being, to have me just for himself.

My voice, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Simply everything. He wants it all to be his.

"I wish I could erase every bad dream you have and send whoever is responsible for it to burn in hell. It should scare me that you make me think like that, but if I'm honest, it doesn't. Are you scared?" His eyes look into mine.

Slowly, my fingers intertwine with his. "Not when you're with me."

The next thing I notice is his lips on mine. The way his hands grip my hips and pull me onto him.

He leans towards me, his lips caress my ears and I hear his whispering voice. "Every day I hear one my followers talking about you. That they want to have you, to decorate your beautiful body with scars, with their initials." I freeze at his words, wanting to pull away and look at him, but he holds me tight. Makes me continue to listen to his voice.

"They want to see you bleed, to alternate between pain and pleasure when they push their cocks into you. Do you like that? That you are so desired? That you turn everyone's heads, when you go by and they start wanting to see my head roll? To get close to you, huh?" I want to shake my own head, but he holds me even tighter.

"Do you know how hard it is not to execute every single one of them? Do you know that? I would, if I could. I would kill every single one of them, in front of you, so that everyone knows that you belong to me. Do you understand? No one will speak to you anymore, because your voice is mine. No one will look at you, because your sight is mine. You keep your hands to yourself, no more help with injuries, I don't care if they die. Your hands only touch me."

As I start to sqirm, he leans back, keeping his hands on my hips until a finger strokes my cheek.

"No one will ever kiss you except me. And anyone who even thinks about fucking you, I will let die in battle. You may think my loyalty is to Kronos, but it is to you. My beautiful girl. Now think carefully about who you are pledging your loyalty to."

When his eyes look into mine, I fall silent. Then, even though I try not to, my voice trembles.

"What do you mean? I'm loyal to you, Luke."

His hands caress my skin, examining how the sun shines on me. I'm only wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties. His hands, stroke my bare thighs.

His eyebrows rise, slowly his fingers wrap around my panties, pulling them down until I am revealed to him. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, that it feels like it's about to give up. I hold my breath as he places the tip of his cock at my entrance.

What am I doing here?

"I think you're not being completely honest with me, princess. Let's try again. Who are you loyal to?" As he slowly enters me and his hands hold my hips, I moan. I lay my head back for a moment and enjoy the stretch, feeling his hands slide under my shirt and stroke over my stomach, to my breasts and to my neck.

"Luke, what's going on? I'm here with you, I'm-" But I can't finish my sentence as he plunges into me with a violent jerk, right up to the edge. My eyes roll back.

"These sweet lies that come from your lips. Of course you are here physically, but with the mind? Oh no, while I fuck you, your thoughts are on Camp Halfblood. On Jackson. Can you believe it?" His hands push my hips down until I am connected directly to him and can feel every inch inside me. I almost melt as one of his hands presses into my lower back and I move even closer to him.

When I try to answer him, my voice is a mixture of horror and pleasure. "Luke, that's not true. I only want you, I'm on your side- ahh-" Faster than I can react, he thrusts into me. Once, twice. So hard and ruthless that he hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars. I can't concentrate.

"How I wish you would tell the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Admit it, I already know. My girlfriend is the traitor. Behind my back, she talks to the person I hate the most and yet, she sits on my lap and rides my cock. What would Percy say about that?"

His hand wraps around my neck and holds me tight, his hips keep pounding into me and even though my brain tells me to stop, my guard is down. I want this.

"How-" But when I want to ask, he pushes me onto him again. So fast, too hard, it almost hurts, but it also feels so good.

"I have my eyes everywhere. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it, how to deal with you. But I found a good solution. After all, Percy lets you be here, without cover, without protection. Hoping I wouldn't find out that you were passing on information. That I wouldn't hurt you."

His last sentence makes me tense up, but even though his face twists in amusement for a brief moment, he doesn't stop talking.

"Your pussy won't save you either. And since I have given you my word, I will not harm you. I found a better punishment. A choice."

He suddenly stops moving and I almost cry, wanting to move myself, but he takes my face in his hand, tightly. Focusing all attention on him.

"Either you stop your underhanded loyalty to Jackson immediately and serve me, or I will make the wishes of everyone behind this door come true and you will be used like a beautiful, little doll. From each one of them, I assure you. But after that, you won't be so beautiful anymore."

Tears well up my eyes, whether it's from the tight grip he's holding on me or from his words, I can't tell. And I'm scared, it feels like I'm being buried alive. With no prospect of ever being able to breathe or be free again.

Without me saying anything, he starts moving inside me again, letting my hips sink onto his. I breathe in loudly.

"Come on, move. Your choice. It's either my cock or anyone else's."

When I look at him, the person I once loved has disappeared. It's like looking at a stranger.

My heart feels like it's been stolen and in the back of my mind I realize, that I should have never gone with him.

But then I close my eyes, put my hands on his shoulders for support and sink down onto him. Again and again, even stronger. Until my thighs shake and tears run down my cheeks. Until I hear Luke's quiet voice again.

"If you think you are strong enough to be like me, treacherous, cold-hearted and ruthless, then I have to disappoint you. Your heart will be soft forever unless the world hardens it. I will protect you for that, princess. Forget camp halfblood, you only serve me now."

His lips are hot on my skin, a strong contrast to my heart, which feels like it's made of ice.

And when I receive the next secret sign from Annabeth a few days later, I ignore it.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Bullet train au tangerine x fem reader where lemon and tangerine partner up with two other siblings and this time instead of tangerine dying fem reader loses her brother and she’s devastated and he’s all im going to fuck this train up for hurting my girl. 🥺 some comfort from tangerine to reader as well please!!! Tangerine then acts soft towards the reader

hii!! I love it!! this turned out angsty and sad, I hope that’s okay. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

ace of hearts

tangerine x f reader

readers code name is ace, twin brother is spade

wc || 1k

warnings || quite sad, might be a little heavy for some. death of readers brother, mentions of blood

a/n || I had a complete brain fart, for some reason I thought the deck of cards were diamond, heart, spade and ace. turns out, it’s ACE OF (…) not the actual card name😭 I forgot about ‘clubs’ but we’re gonna pretend that ace is a name of card, okay? or that it has some deeper connection and meaning to her brother lmao

masterlist + rules

taglist

Everything seemed to fall apart the very second the bullet train travelled past Tokyo Station. Everything you thought was under control, seemed not to be.

Ever since then, it all felt like some kind of progressively sick game; it started with the disappearance of the briefcase, then the death of the son, which was later followed by unexpected fights with others who also wanted the case. Everything right down to the very moment when you hear the unnerving sound of a gunshot a couple carriages down.

You’ve heard many gunshots in your time, but none of them scared you the way this one did. There was this daunting feeling throughout the entirety of your bones that told you it was something different to the thousands before. Pushing past the twins, you dart through the aisles, bustling through the cascade of people that were running away from the noise in fear. Stumbling your way in, you see him. And your heart crumbles.

Falling to your knees beside your twin brother, clutching his stomach while you applied pressure directly over his wound, trying to keep the blood from pouring out. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay.” You say softly, your voice breaking as you look around with tear-filled eyes. “We’re gonna get some help, okay? It’s gonna be fine.” You assure him, but in actuality, you were reassuring yourself.

You hear a couple soft gasps from behind before feeling their presence join you shortly after. “What can we do? Quick.” Lemon says panicked, searching around for ways to keep the blood from gushing out.

“I don’t know.” You whisper, staring down at the painful expression that was spread across your brother Spade’s features.

“Where you going?” Lemon shouts, calling after Tangerine.

“To find the twat that did it.”

Turning your attention back to your best friend, your worried eyes darting over his face as you watched him attentively. Pushing a little harder over his wound when you notice his blood seep through the gaps in your hand. “It’s not working.” Your voice breaks as you quietly sob. “It’s not working— why isn’t it working?”

Lemon shimmies off his jacket and rolls it into a ball. “Count of three, we swap places. Okay? … one, two, three.” Sliding your hands away so that Lem could apply the pressure, you cup your hands around your brother's face to keep him calm. Staring down at him with eyes riddled with fear.

“You need to get off the train.” Spade says quietly, eyes fluttering as his head grew heavy in your hands.

“Not without you. We’re gonna get help... you’re gonna be okay.”

“No… please. Just leave me.” He sighs, holding into your hand that was resting against his face. Gripping you dearly as he looked up at you. “Please, you have to get out of here.”

“Just, no. We’re getting you off.” You say defiantly, holding his face stern to emphasise your words. “I can’t lose you… I won’t lose you.” Whispering in broken speech as you gaze down at his stomach.

“How is he?” Tangerine anxiously questions, rushing towards you as he shook off his now blood-splattered blazer. Lemon turns around to face him, slowly shaking his head with a pained smile.

“Just leave me here… please go…” His speech becomes slow and strained as his eyelids grow heavy. Fluttering every once in a while, until they didn’t.

“No.” You sob, softly shaking his head. “What you doing? Come on, that’s not funny.”

“Ace…” Tangerine says softly, kneeling beside you. Brushing slow circles over your lower back.

“He’s okay, he’s just resting his eyes.” You reply, your words coaxed in denial.

“Darling… he’s not.” Stroking higher up your back, gently urging you towards his embrace.

“He’s fine. Lem, what you doing? Put your hands back.” You heavily exhale, cupping back over his stomach. “Come on, he’s losing more blood.”

“Oh, honey,” Lemon says quietly, delicately removing your hands.

“We still have time.”

“We don’t, sweetheart.” Tangerine responds almost regretfully as he twists you around to face him. “He’s… gone.”

Whispering. “No.”

“I know.” His bottom lip hides a sympathetic wobble as he cradles your head, pulling you towards him. “I’m so sorry.”

It was at the moment when the fog cleared and you finally realised that you had in fact just lost your brother. Your other half. Sobbing into the Tangerine’s chest as he embraced you tighter, wrapping his arms around you as if his only goal was to shield and protect you.

“He didn’t want to do this job in the first place.” You wail into his shirt, sniffling as you pull away. “It’s all my fault… if I didn’t push him to say yes, he wouldn’t be dead. If I had just—“

Tangerine sadly shakes his head, his eyes darting across your saddened face. “No. Don’t say that.”

“It should’ve been me.” You whisper, wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand. “… should’ve been me.”

He cups your face, clutching your cheeks for you to meet his eye-line. “Please don’t say that.” His words were stern yet tender.

“Come on love, we gotta get you off.” Lemon quietly adds, checking the time on his watch.

“I can’t leave him here.” Lacing your hand into your brother’s, holding him like you couldn’t let go.

“I know, I know.” Tangerine nods slowly, looking over your doleful face. “Lem’s arranging a pick up in Nagoya, aren’t ya?”

“Yeah sweet, we got some guys that are gonna pick us up.”

“I’m gonna— we’re gonna look after you, alright? It’s all sorted.”

“What about Spade? I can’t leave him.”

“Love, it’s sorted. We’ve got a plane arranged. Right?” Looking back at his brother to confirm. “Yeah, they’re gonna take us to the plane base, and then we see how it goes from there, alright?”

Turning around you avert your attention back to your brother's lifeless body, stroking his face. Mumbling. “Okay.”

hii, I won’t be doing a part 2 to this :( I wanted to keep it so the ending was how you wanted it to be. either reader joins the twins and they become a group of three, or the reader leaves the job entirely and moves abroad. I wanted it to be an up-in-the-air ending, hope that’s okay:)

——————

@tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @ch3rries-n-cream @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things

[lin0or]

Irony

leeknow x y/n

MDNI:(18+) - spanking,p in v,unprotected sex (make sure to wrap it before you tap it lovelies),afab reader

a/n-i’m not very experienced in the sexual/smut department and i’m fairly new to writing.If anyone sees this and likes it or has any requests please don’t hesitate.Also,don't hesitate to give me any tips on writing.Enough with my yapping and read on.

(This is in first person readers pov btw and with no specified body types)

_____________________________________________________________

“Do I look like I’m messing around? Do I look like I won’t punish you?

I looked into his eyes again trying to find a hint of irony.Nothing.He was dead serious.The same boyfriend who treats me like an angel and spoon feeds me everything was now threatening me with punishment.What a switch up.

“Baby you can't be for real.”I say as I pout at him.

All this over a joke.A very racy one at that but still a joke.All i said was that i rather sit on his friends face then go on a date with him.As.A.Joke.Of course i would love to go on a date with him, he’s MY boyfriend.

“Minho, you know I'm joking.” I kiss all over his neck especially on his heart shaped Adams apple but he resists me.

“Get over my knee now.” He says with an emotion I can’t put my finger on.

I’m scared he’s never punished me for anything before even when I did something completely wrong.I reluctantly get over his knee and he pulls my shorts down.

“Good girl,I hope this will help you learn to not push my buttons.”

He spanks me

“Ah~” I let out pathetically 

This is not a new feeling.It’s like he’s edging me with every spank.I feel like whore for liking it so much,i can't even think it’s overstimulating but it makes me feel so submissive.

“Minho please~” I whimper 

“What’s wrong slut?You’re clearly enjoying it your panties are soaked.”He smirks

“Is it too much for little princess to handle?”He mocks me

Well,yes but I will not give in so soon I need to make him submit to me.But how?

“Daddy ,please.” I moan as my legs start to shake

He spanks me for what feels like the hundredth time 

“Daddy?How much of a whore can you be?” He chuckles as i hear his belt unbuckle

FINALLY.i’ve been waiting for some action(Let me retract my statement so i don’t seem like a slut) He flips me so im facing him and he kisses me aggressively like a starved man.I gasp for air everytime he tries to rip my bra off until he reaches my pebbled nipples and twists them watching my face contort in pleasure

“So pretty”He groans out as I flip him over and I play with his boxers waistband.

“Off?Please.” I beg him

He nods.I eagerly rip off his boxers and I reveal his handsome cock.Minho loses all sense of patience,tugs my panties to the side and rubs his tip on my slit.

“S’wet just for me.” he says with hazy eyes  

Holy shit when did he get so fucked out?

“Just for you Daddy.”

Holy shit when did I get so fucked out.Come to think of it i’ve been moaning so loudly from the start.He’s right i’m such a whore.

“Need you to fuck me now.” I say desperately

“Anything for you princess.”

It slips in at the right angle and I fall apart.Our sticky chests pressed against each other as we pant like dogs in each others ears.Fuck,I could die like this.The pleasure gets a billion times better as he hits the spot,bullseye everytime.If i wasn’t in Lala land right now i’d probably be able to disguise my moans so my neighbours dont think i’m a pornstar.

“Minho I-i’m gonna cum~” I guide his hand to my puffy clit as he looks in my eyes and I pout waiting for a kiss.Instead he nibbles on my neck, my orgasm building up and the familiar feeling in my stomach arriving.

“Want to cum together.” He holds my hand and i arch my back

The moment is so sentimental and I clench on him like a vice as I try to remain in eye contact with his soft boba eyes and tofu cheeks.I let go as I see white and my body goes limp.

___________________________________________________________

I hear the faint sound of water and I wake up in a bath.

“You finally woke up Kitten.”he washes me gently “You blacked out after squirting so perfectly for me,must of felt good.”he whispers cheekily

“Felt so good.” I whisper back

“I love you Minho.”

“I love you y/n.”

[bnuuys-writing]

Chapter Six. Welcome back!

Im sorry but im gonna say it- im a leona hater. FIRE ME. These next two chapters are short but sweet! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six(You are here!), Leona's Ending, Malleus' Ending

The book was heavy as the words wrote themselves out for the entertainment of others. Ace, Deuce and Grim have been guarding the book with their very lives due to the fact that the two most powerful sorcerers were in the book but more importantly; You were in it and they wanted you back so badly! So bad that they had even brought you to Professor Crewel who could only shake his head and tell them this;

“They will need to finish the story to return. If you force them out, they might lose their memory or even worse; remain the character in that book while being out here.” 

That frightened the trio of them so they held the book close to themselves as they went to their classes, Riddle would scold them if they were too close to getting food on it or any type of liquid. Then at night, the first year squad would gather all together in the ramshackle just to read the updates on the book. Epel would give snide remarks about Vil and how he's finally getting booked off the stage, saying how its finally time that its happened. Though he did cry a little bit when Rook was pronounced dead in the Duan Juan scene. 

Jack was proud of you and how far you’ve come within the book, having went from a simple ballerina to being right in front of the stage by yourself. Plus, all the stability you need to be a ballerina is insane! Ortho would make comments about how cool it would be to be a ballerina and offer Jack some methods on how to strengthen certain muscles if he would attempt to try it all. 

While Grim, Ace and Deuce were just worried sick about you, hoping that you would come from the book safely and most preferably not traumatized! All the scenes, all the fighting and all the scariness of having the most powerful sorcerers after your hand- hopefully they can protect you from them when you all come out from the book! 

It wasn't until one night at the Ramshackle that everyone was sleeping, Jack and Epel were close to each other while Ace and Deuce slept beside each other. While Grim slept on top of the book for if anyone dared to move it away from underneath him, they’d get a big ball of blue fire in their face! The books cover swung open, knocking Grim onto Ace who only began to complain about it, waking everyone up in the group from his complaints only to turn their eyes to the book that was flipping through all the pages only for it to stop on the last page.

Learn to be Lonely.

“Eh? Learn to be lonely? What does that mean?” Ace grumbled out as he reached forward to grab the book only for it to start shaking violently as the words began to glow brighter and brighter until the room was filled with so much light, it was looking as if it was day time. With a belch coming out from the book, eleven figures were thrown out of the book as it violently shut itself and was sealed back up with enchanted string and stamped close with a waxy seal. 

Lilia was the first to regain consciousness first as he slowly sat up, looked around only to find himself within the Ramshackle, with Jack, Epel, Ace, Deuce, and Grim looking at them with wide eyes. Then everything clicked; the book had finished itself. They were finally out of the book. Yet, before any questions could get answered, Lilia’s grin appeared as he looked at them and then down at the ten figures down on the floor. Malleus and Leona holding onto the precious Prefect, Y/n.

“We shall see you at the infirmary.” Was all Lilia said before all ten figures were teleported to the nurses office who got quite a scare at seeing all these figures appear out of nowhere in the middle of the night. 

It was a long week before everyone started to wake up within the infirmary, yet you had not awoken just yet. Everyone was worried about their magicless Prefect as everyone made sure to come and swarm your bedside at least three times a day if it weren't for Jack and Ruggie scaring them off or Sebek and Silver standing guard at your bedside. Yet, if it weren't for those two duos, it was Deuce and Ace while Grim was purring on your chest, hoping you would open your eyes to greet them once more. 

All the while they waited for you to open up your pretty eyes once more, Rook was stable and alive, often teasing poor Malleus for killing him so easily just to get to you. Although Vil was not impressed with this at all. 

“Oh~! Roi Des Dragons~! Your hands are cold! Though I thank you for the fun hunt!” Rook joyfully spoke as he walked beside him, having spotted Malleus a mile away walking down the sidewalk, most likely going to visit your form within the infirmary. Malleus had already apologized to Rook plenty of times but he could only nod his head this time as he disregarded the frenchman. Though, the thing that did stop him in his trip was a mangy tail within his path and a very irritated Lion looking at him.

“Leona Kingscholar, a pleasure to see you again. I apologize for trying to strangle you at the end.” Malleus states cooly, as if he wasn't really sorry about almost killing him in the end but Leona could only scoff. “Lizard. At least I had Y/n in the end.” Leona chuckled out, waving that win over Malleus’ head as he stood up to face him fully.

“It was all scripted within the book, I’m sure if I were able to do so, they would choose to court me instead. Afterall, we were all imposed on the Book’s will.” Malleus spoke out slowly as if trying to taunt Leona. As if almost picking out another fight with the Lion who seemed eager to pick up the strands of a threat. Yet, another idea came into his mind as he smirked.

“No magic, no brooms. Just good sportsmanship. Lets race to the infirmary and whoever gets there first, they get to keep Y/n.” Leona gruffed out, a smirk playing on his face as he stared at his enemy. Malleus only seemed to think about this idea for a moment as he brought a hand up to his chin just to think. A race for your heart? He seemed to like the idea of it, yes…

“Very well, may the fastest runner win.” With that, they both lined up and with Rook watching both of them very closely, they both dashed off when they heard a snap of a twig coming from the treelined beside them.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

[beannary]

If you want to talk about one of your aus, or au ideas, I'd love to hear about them! (*scoots my chair forward, looking hopeful*)

ok ive been wanting to answer this for a while but i kept on being so scared because ah! this is the one opportunity ill get to talk about my au! but then i realized that is stupid this is not gonna be my only opportunity to talk about my au

putting my ramblings under a read more because i ended up uh saying a whole lot about Donnie and his relationship with both Splinter and Big Mama

ok so basically ive been thinking a lot about the little prince au because it is fully my child and i adore it so much but ive been specifically thinking about Donnie and Splinter's relationship because I really want to write their relationship well

theyre gonna have such an interesting relationship. I know I havent gotten into how Big Mama ended up with Donnie but I am working on a comic for that so I'm not going to get into all of the details but Splinter does know that he left a turtle behind, he just thinks that the turtle he left behind died in the lab explosion, so over the years he has dealt with guilt because of that but overtime that guilt not necessarily faded but he comes to rationalize it because truly it wasn't his fault that Donnie got left behind, and truly there was nothing he could have done to save Donnie. But once he learns that Donnie is not only alive but that he's been living with Big Mama, Splinter's guilt is going to come back at full force because oh my god, not only is the kid that he thought was dead actually alive but he was raised by the woman who kidnapped Splinter and forced him to fight for years!

Splinter is going to be trying so hard to get Donnie to live with him once he learns that Donnie is alive, and he's going to be trying so hard to be the best parent for Donnie ever to like makeup for abandoning Donnie back in the lab explosion. or you know, not abandoning Donnie but that's what Splinter sees it as

I also want Donnie to have like similar reactions to leaving Big Mama that Splinter had. Like undeniably Splinter was incredibly depressed after leaving Big Mama, and like Big Mama turned this thing that Splinter loved, you know performing and being in the spotlight and entertaining!, and completely took away any agency that he could have to this thing that he loved to the point where he refused to take part in it just so he could have some sort of control over his life again

When Donnie leaves Big Mama (whether its by his own will or not I havent decided or figured out how he comes to live with the Hamatos yet) but he's going to go through something similar just a complete shut down where he abandons everything that he loved to do because he now associates them with Big Mama and her control over him if that makes sense? Like Donnie LOVES dancing and he loves playing music and listening to music! but these are activities that Big Mama actively encouraged and so naturally hes going to associate them with her.

I think one thing Donnie is going to throw himself into when he first leaves Big Mama is his inventing. Sort of like how Splinter would lose himself in his shows, I think Donnie is going to get into a sort of headspace where he just spaces out and doesn't have to think about anything while he's tinkering around.

Donnie and Splinter I think are also both going to want to try to prove themselves to each other? Splinter I think might end up being really overbearing while trying to makeup for all this lost time while Donnie is going to try to be the perfect son for Splinter just like he tried to be the perfect son for Big Mama

But like once they actually get to talking and once Donnie is more comfortable around Splinter I think these two are going to have a lot of heart to hearts just because Big Mama controlled their lives for so long, there's a lot of stuff to bond over and relate to

Idk Im not super confident in my writing abilities and Im trying really hard to portray Big Mama as a narcissistic parent but a lot of the stuff that I've read about how narcissistic personality disorder might portray itself in a parental role like centers heavily on the way that they pit siblings against each other and Donnie does not have a sibling! So I guess in a sense he would be both the golden child and the scapegoat which must make for a confusing existence. I dont even know if im portraying this well at all or if any of this is coming across in my writing but I sure hope that it is!

Another thing I want to get into is how Big Mama like reacts to Donnie's inventing because like having a super smart kid that can build you whatever you want is logically a very good resource to have and she does want him to keep building her stuff. But like inventing is messy! Science is messy! In an ideal world Donnie would be getting down and dirty working hard on engineering and botany, and like Donnie can sometimes get so focused on his work that he turns into a bit of a hermit till he comes out of that focused mindset and that's really the part that Big Mama doesn't like because like yes having a super smart kid does reflect very well on her, but having a kid whose constantly playing in the dirt or messing around with explosives and other dangerous devices and who occasionally goes completely MIA while working does not reflect well on her. So she's put into a position where she both wants Donnie to keep building her stuff but she also doesn't want all that extra messiness that comes with encouraging this interest of his.

Anyways im going to stop now because this has gotten WAY too long and I dont even know where im going with this! but it was so helpful to write this all out and just like getting my like thoughts you know written out so I can actually see if any of this makes sense asdklfjhsakdjh

[cl00udyyanan]

gotta get back to you

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}───── ⊰

synopsis: you threaten to leave him and he realizes he loves you too much to let you go

warnings: mentions of cheating (no actual cheating), mentions of swearing, crying, mentions of proposing

characters: kaeya

notes: i've never wrote anything like this before so i hope it's okay, i've had this idea for a while and i didn't know how to go about it since this is based off a song (gotta get back by p1harmony) i hope it's alright and im sure there are places i could improve but i think it's okay, enjoy!

kaeya hated fights, especially when they invovled you. fights always ended up with him losing something or someone. he knew the costs, thats why he hardly engaged in bickering with you, simply shutting you down by walking away or adhering to your wishes. it was far easier to give into your wants than to stand up for what he believed in those arguments.

yet this one just got to him. you yelling at him for coming home late for the fifth day in a row. accusing him of seeing someone else, you thought that low of him and yours relationship? so him coming home at an untimely manner made him a cheater. that hurt him the most. he acted like a child by turning you away and tuning you out.

what he didn't realise was the pure concern you had for him. everyday he came home he was drunk and would barely make it in the door way. he was letting himself go slowly and you had no idea why. what was causing him to drink so wrecklessly that he couldn't talk to you about? he was stubborn, so stupidly stubborn. all you could do was scream at him.

"you never listen!" "you go off without a word" "all i wanted was for you to comeback home!" his back was turned to you while you yelled. hands covering his ears. he didn't want to fight with you. he knew how it would end. you'd leave him. like everone else. "archons! I cant do this anymore" you're face was steaming, tears burned down your cheeks, your heart stung like kaeya had thrown a knife straight at it. he didn't say anything back to you, he didn't have the courage to see the hurt on your face.

it wasn't until l it had gotten dead silent kaeya finally decided to turn around. you were headed towards the front door, the thud of the door closing behind you. his hands balled up, eyes wide and watery. everything he wanted to say had evaded him and you weren't there. he should've listened to you, made it right and told you the truth. no he wasn't cheating he'd never, he'd been working more hours saving up to buy you the beautiful diamond ring he'd dream of proposing to you with. those nights he'd come home drunk were filled with doubt. would you even say yes? was all his late nights gonna be worth it if you deny him his love?

he wanted to pull you back through the hurt and swaddle you in a warm hug while he kiss your lips so gently. his apartment was so lifeless without you and he was alone once again with nothing but his thoughts as company. archons he hated his thoughts. the way they surrounded him in hatred and loathing, reminding him of all his regrets and past mistakes that would eat him up. he knew that without you he wouldn't have someone to catch his hand and lift him from the abyss he was descending towards. he had to get back to you.

he swung the door open leading out to bitter outside. kaeya he made his way to you, grabbing your arm and swaddling you into a warm hug, defeating the swirling winter around the both. you tried to shove him back, but his strong arm wrapped around your waist denied you any movement. yet, he didn't hurt you or try to fight back after all the horrible words you hurled at him. he simply held you in this chilling winter. his lips gingerly pecking the side of your neck while his free hand laid in the valley of your hair. his hold was tight as if he were scared you'd disappear if he let go.

small meaningful words were whispered from him into you ear.

"i know i'm not perfect"

"and i've hurt your heart before"

"i just wanna love you"

"forever endlessly"

"please don't leave"

how could you say no to him when he asked so sweetly? you wrap your arms around his waist, cheeks resting on his chest. "please forgive me."

in the burr, you find solace in the warmth of your lover. forgiving him and loving him once more, forever endlessly.

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}───── ⊰

[melodyfsoul1]

LOKI S2 FINALE GLORIOUS PURPOSE

Just spent over an hour crying over the Loki S2 Finale, and still havent recovered, but here I go anyway with my Reaction/ Review

*Loki S2 E6 Spoilers ahead*

Okay so... before watching the episode I wrote down a couple things that I did NOT want to happen/ but knowing myself, and my luck with my characters, figured that was exactly what would happen....

and turns out... I was correct....

Back in Infinty War I feared/ predicted that Loki was gonna die in the first 10 min in a stupid way where he wouldnt be able to show off his powers... and we all know how that turned out...

For this season finale, all I hoped was that Loki, for once wouldnt play the self sacrifical lamb, and find a way where he didnt have to lose Mobius and his new found friends, where he would be not alone...

So.... yeah.... about that....

Now to the Review/ Reaction:

God I was so scared

"Glorious Purpose"

The title alone had me tearing up.... we really came full circle back to S1 E1 and the fact that they started the recap with 2012 Loki too...

1 min 30 in and I'm already pausing, THE INTRO IS BACKWARDS, thar was so cool

So we all knew Loki would have to go back and try to safe everyone

BUT MARVEL DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW US TIMELY DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (and in so many angles too....)

Then Loki trying to learn everything OB knows to be prepared to help, but it would take time, makes sense

"CENTURIES LATER"

WHAT?! They really did that, good thing Loki has that long Life span...

The fact that all the characters realizes sth was off with Loki but MOBIUS is the one to stop and talks to him, and Loki telling him to trust him.... my heart

OH MY GOD ITS WORKING?! And Timely survived too? Did not expect that

I have never seen Loki this relieved/ happy but at the same time sad and exhausted before...

But of course its never that "easy"

No matter what, the infinite amount of branches will always detroy the loom, so the moment a timeline branched everything was doomed from he start... Ah yes Marvel and their existential dread...

Loki going back to before Sylvie killed He Who Remains, trying to convince her not to kill him.... and of course she says he has to kill her if he wants to stop her...

God Loki's Emotional Damage....

Of course Loki cant

HWR COULD HAVE STOPPED TIME THAT THE WHOLE TIME!??!! The fact that he figured Loki has gone through this whole scene before and still just watched

He knows about time slipping...

He paved he road

He planned this

Him and Loki had this conversations before

"We die with the dying, we are born with the dead"

That is such a sick quote :0

Its basically Loki vs HWR forever, and Loki knows he will always lose... but still wants to try... kudos to his determination

And of course Loki cant bring himself to trade lives... not Sylvie's, not his friends and not the multiverses...

Loki goes back to the first time he talked to Mobius...NOOOOO not the Throne talk, why does this feel like a final good bye talk.... I HATE IT

Though S1 E1 Mobius having a chat with S2 E6 Loki is such an interesting concept

He wants to find out how they chose who lives and dies... ("Who lives, who dies, who tells your story" huh? Sorry but I had to make that Hamilton reference XD)

"You're not gonna find comfort in the TVA" - Mobius to Loki

BUT HE DID, LOKI DID FIND COMFORT, IN YOU MOBIUS, Im gonna cry ... the TVA was the first place where Loki could just be himself and he found friends there too

Also Mobius might be the only comfort character who actually gives comfort (and isnt just an angsty mess who hasnt had a happy day ever)

Mobius telling the story of a hunter who couldnt kill a kid, which caused more death, loosing sight of the bigger picture

So he is talking about himself right? And of course Renslayer was the Partner

Mobius telling Loki they have to chose a burden and live with it... that it leaves scars.

Theres this sinking feeling again

And the scene SPGAHETTIFIES?! I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL, NOT AGAIN, STOP GIVING US FANS PTSD THROUGH VISUAL EFFECTS

I dont know what to think of Loki & Sylvie's final talk.... Loki has an idea?

Oh NoNONONONONONO

I FREAKING KNEW HE WAS GONNA GO THE SELF SACRFICE ROUTE BACK FROM EP 1 AND I FIGURED HE WOULD TAKE TIMELY'S PLACE IN EP 5 BUT THIS?!

Cant he ever be happy?! Is there any Loki, in any universe who actually gets to be happy?!

The fact that Mobius was the first to notice and that him and Sylvie immediately followed Loki, tried to talk him out of it

Loki looking back, saying he finally knows what he wants

MY HEART

LOKI WALKING THROUGH SPACE WITHSTANDING THE RADIATION JUST LIKE THOR WITHSTOOD THE DYING STAR IN INFINITY WAR, THE PARALLELS

THE NEW OUTFIT, THE CAPE, HIS HORNED HELMET, OH MY GOD

It looks like an End of Time Aesthetic Version of his Ragnarok Outfit wih the Cracked Kintsugi helmet

Ngl at first I had no idea if he was using his powers to manually destroy, change or preserve the branches.... or weave them together

Oh and to be clear I was crying during like the whole last 20 min of the episode because that was just too many emotions at once

Also can we talk about how freaking cool looking the shots of Loki with the new Helmet and the branches being his cape, were?!

The throne... Oh god the remains of HWR throne...

LOKI'S GLORIOUS PURPOSE WAS TAKING ON THE BURDEN OF THE THRONE HE NEVER WANTED

*starts violently sobbing*

Poetic, Ironic and Heartbreaking, all at the same time

Like, is it extremely cool to see him use his powers to his full potential? Yes definitely.

Were the cinematics beautiful? Yes of course, it was gorgeous, tho the moment I realized he was making Yggdrasil, I started bawling my eyes out, because "You go Loki, show us what you can do"

But I also felt my heart break because Loki is now at the end if time, chose to have to watch over & protect the multiverse, all alone, forever.... (can he leave that place?)

Like this is the very same Loki, who just, 1 episode ago, admitted that he is terrified of being alone, who just wants to be with his friends. L1130 is a Loki who was actually happy and had friends, a place where he felt safe because he could be himself. And he gave EVERYTHING up to give EVERYONE ELSE a chance at life, a life he might not be able to take part in... he can watch, but we dont know if he can interact with them....

I literally talked about that in my reaction/ review from last episode. Sylvie & Loki are both selfish, which is ironically a very human trait (them being gods and all), but unlike Sylvie, Loki would actually give up everything to safe others, which is exactly what he did.

And I know Comic Loki, God of Stories, wrote himself out if the Narrative as well, out of the Story, to look behind the curtain, have a talk with the beings behind everything, but that Loki also had Verity, he had a friend outside of everything, he had someome to talk to, a friend. Verity is one of my fav characters and I would have loved to see her Comic Version too in the MCU, but I saw B-15's Name was revealed to be Verity Willis, so thats is cool Easter Egg :D

Back to Loki, I honestly cant tell which Loki has it the worst... I always thought the main Loki dying to Thanos had it the worst, but he sth akin to a life and he got the chance to mend his relationship with Thor before he died his heroes' death...

Now L1130, in the worst case, is damned to spent eternity alone, the very thing he is scared of, being without his friends, forced to watch from afar as they live life without him, when all he wanted was to be with them... that is unless he can just leave the place whenever he wants to (if the branches allow it I guess?) But if it turns out that he cant leave that place/ or interact with anyone, without everything going down immediately, then I would argue that this Loki's life is worse than the other's death... and I cant believe Im describing Infinity War Loki's Death as a mercy...

Back to the ep...

AFTER?! Right theres an after

The TVA is still intact, with a new leader ship and everyone working together, B-15, OB, Casey and even Ms Minutes is helping?

Mobius looks so sad doing his job though...

Hes gonna LEAVE?! He wants to experience his own life on the timeline, huh... Loki did promise that to Don... and M is going for it, thats sweet actually

Renslayer got sent to the end of time, Alioth waiting for her, well then

Mobius seeing what his life used to be is so sweet, likes how perfectly imperfect is it

Sylvie visits too?

"Its weird Loki's not around" she says and I start bawling my eyes out again, now thats just salting the wound.... at least they remember him

NOOOOO THE SHOT OF LOKI IN HIS THRONE

He is smiling, but he's crying too

Is there ANY Marvel Movie, or Show where Loki doesnt cry?!?! My freaking heart...

Look I know this ending makes rational sense.... and it was defintely epic, and we finally got Loki at his full potential, and yes, Loki being finally recongnized as one of the most powerful MCU characters is cool.

But personally, on an emotional level, that ending is somewhere between bittersweet and absolutely heart breakingly dreadful, because Loki didnt want this, he didnt want the throne, he only did this to save his friends, he gave up his own happiness and I hate it... I know he is happier knowing his friends have a chance at life and that he chose this, but there wasnt much of an choice with HWR....

I just hope that Loki learning to control time means he can at least visit his friend, pop in from time to time, because if him leaving the throne/ the branches means everything could come crashing down, then thats just sad...

And what does that mean for the teased Loki & Thor Reunion?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?! We didnt even get an end credit scene?!

Anyways, I'm gonna rewatch the season the next couple days and go through some theories and head canons and see whether that will change my opinion on the ending, but we'll see.

[gibbearish]

hello i’m questioning if i’m transmasc rn and i took your am i trans uquiz and the parts about wishing you were a ‘real’ [agab]/feeling like you’re not good at being your agab and feeling like a ghost possessing your own body hit me like a train. i’ve taken so many am i trans quizzes over the last couple days. this is gonna sound weird but i hope i really am trans so i don’t have to be perceived as a girl anymore. i get random gender crises every few months but this one is the worst i’ve ever gotten and i can’t figure out if i’m actually trans or not 😭 i feel like a fake because i never showed any signs as a kid and also this particular gender crisis only started about a week ago and i felt pretty fem before that. also my best friend is a trans guy and i hang out with him literally all the time so i’m scared i’m just copying him or something (i also get really jealous that he gets to be a boy lol) anyway sorry for rambling in your askbox but if you’ve got any advice for me i’d really appreciate it 😭

sometimes when yall from the uquiz message me i have to physically restrain myself from saying "my advice is to read back everything you just said." and usually i can manage to tamp down the urge and handle it a lot more delicately, but. i am losing that battle currently. you arent having random gender crises every few months, youre having one ongoing crisis that you keep talking yourself out of. i try very hard to avoid giving solid answers on these bc no matter how obvious it can seem, i still have no way of knowing for sure but. like. dude.

youve taken a bunch of quizzes about this, and based on what you've said here im assuming youve gotten similar results from most of them. you keep having this same crisis every few months. you want to be trans so you dont have to be seen as a girl. youre jealous of your ftm friend because he gets to be a boy. look me in the eyes here and tell me you dont know exactly what all of that means