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wonderlustlucas · 5 years

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four - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit

You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.

The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.

You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.

[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls

[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer

[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid

[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji

You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop

You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.

[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm

[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep

[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee

You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.

In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!

By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.

“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.

“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.

“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.

“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”

“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?

Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.

“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.

“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”

“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”

“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”

“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.

Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.

And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.

He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.

And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.

But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.

But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.

But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?

It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.

So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.

Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.

Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.

Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.

Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.

Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.

Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.

“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”

You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.

Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.

You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.

“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.

“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”

“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.

And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.

Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”

Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”

“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.

Yeah.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.

“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”

“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”

“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.

“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.

You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.

September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.

You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.

Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.

“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.

Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—

��I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”

It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.

How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.

God, you hate it.

You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.

Hyunjin is a funny guy.

Or so he thinks.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.

Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.

After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.

But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.

You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.

After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts

See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?

[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”

[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM

[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president

[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like

[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing

Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.

You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.

“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.

“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”

“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.

“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.

“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”

Yikes. He’s going to kill you.

“Nursing,” you blurt.

“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”

“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”

“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?

“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”

Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.

For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.

Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.

Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.

“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”

Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!

After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.

“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!

Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?

Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.

“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”

You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.

Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”

Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”

He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”

You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”

“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”

At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”

Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.

“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”

Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.

“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.

It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.

In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.

“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.

“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”

Yeah. We shall.

The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”

“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.

“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”

“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.

“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.

Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.

Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.

Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.

You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”

“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”

“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”

“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.

“Kinky.”

Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.

Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.

Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.

“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.

“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”

“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.

At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.

You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”

He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.

Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.

Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”

“Just past two,” he whispers.

You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”

“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.

Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.

“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.

“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.

“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.

You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.

Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.

“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.

“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”

A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”

“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.

“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.

You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”

You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.

“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”

“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.

“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”

“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.

“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.

“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.

You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”

“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”

You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?

Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.

“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”

“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”

“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”

“You didn’t kiss m—”

The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.

“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.

“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”

He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.

On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.

On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.

The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.

The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”

Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”

Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”

“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”

“Yes. Wait— what? No!”

You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.

“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.

“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”

You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?

“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”

You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.

“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.

“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”

You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”

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princesskokichi · 4 years

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kokichi with a short, chubby s/o

is this for me ? to feel positive about my body for a minute ? why yes, yes it is. if u judge me i’ll come & collect ur toenails ( i’ll get back to requests after i wake up i swear )

at some point at the beginning it goes from the actual prompt to just regular relationship headcanons oops

- mod kokichi

- ah yes, a short & chubby partner

- aka the best person in existence to him

- because he’s 5′1 ( he’s so small omg i just, i love him,, i love him so much ), you’re either at his height or just barely above / below him

- and because of that ya’ll are instant Tinie Babies In Love

- it’s kokichi,, he will undoubtedly joke about your weight some time in the future

- but i honestly feel like he doesn’t actually like when anyone gets hurt with his lies / jokes, so the moment that you show or tell him that he hurt your feelings he would never joke about such a thing again

- but he’ll find something else to tease you about, something that doesn’t hurt your feelings

- it’s kokichi, it’s just something you have to expect from him

- he’ll !!! 100% use you as a pillow whenever he pleases !!

- and it’s cute because he gets all snuggly & clingy

- but he will still be talking even when he’s snuggling so don’t expect any silence unless he’s asleep

- seriously i don’t think this boy knows how to stop talking

- but when he’s got his head in your lap it’s ?? precious ? ?

- like you’d never guess he’s able to do any wrong

- he also likes when you play with his hair while he’s got his head in your lap

- it just calms him down, especially when he’s been overstimmed with too much going on that day

- but that’s getting off topic,, ,

- kokichi would probably see you as a person he can come to for protection, even if it’s not in your nature to do so

- he’ll just be like “ oh yeah that’s my s / o, i should probably go to them when i need some lovin’ “

- literally i feel like that would be his process of thinking

- he just wants to be around you as much as he can !!!

- so he’ll do that, because what kokichi wants, kokichi gets

- he’s bad at spending quiet days inside, but he always finds a way to find something entertaining

- he’s the kind of guy, however, that prefers to work by himself, so it’s definitely a new experience for him to let you into his little bubble when he’s planning stuff

- if you want to be a part of that portion of his life, you have to make the conscious effort to come visit him while he’s holed up in his room working on god knows what

- eventually when he gets comfortable, probably completely subconsciously trusting you more and more as time passes, he’ll be the one to initiate you to join him !!

- and the nights that you join him while he’s working are literally the most fun because throughout the entire night you two are bouncing ideas back and forth and bickering and playing

- those are also the nights it’s nearly 04 am when you finally start to fall asleep & you end up falling asleep on the floor with kokichi resting his head on your shoulder, already out

- ah, you are his cuddle buddy for life now btw !

- he just , he loves cuddling with you

- specifically having you as the big spoon, so he feels all wrapped in your warmth

- he also really likes to turn around while you’re holding him & face you and just bury his face in your chest

- he actually really likes that you’re chubby because to him that means there’s more of you to hold him when he’s not feeling 100%

- he’d probably never admit it but he really needs you there sometimes, and it’s always a relief when he knows he can text you at any time & you’ll be there

- he also really enjoys the fact that you’re just as short as he is too, because that means he can have fun when trying to reach something on the top shelf !!

- like, he’s probably going to climb onto your shoulders at least once in the relationship while at the store because something he wanted was too high up for either of you

- also, you both are short enough to look like children, so he’ll probably use that to his advantage, you know, to do Nefarious Things

- aka he’ll pay a child’s price at a zoo instead of an adult price for the both of you, bringing along someone like kaito who could pretend to be the adult

- and that’s why your dates are always so cheap

- he knows his way around the system, and if using his & your heights & babie charms means he gets what he wants, then so be it

- he really vibes with your body because it’s not often that you see a chubby person in the country he lives in, one that’s so focused on weight & unrealistic beauty standards

- so even though he’ll probably never admit it, he finds it admirable to a point that you’re not afraid to be yourself

- also !!! don’t let anyone talk shit about you, whether about your weight or otheriwise, or they will have kokichi coming to tear them apart

- he doesn’t enjoy you being teased by anyone other than him, but he can tolerate it if you’re friends with them since he knows well enough that it’s not his place to get defensive over some friendly things

- but if someone’s teasing you with the intent to hurt you ?? ? dear god he will never let off them

- they’ll be the next keebo / miu who he is constantly dogging after, even after the incident

- kokichi would find a way to change the subject from you to them, and it won’t be subtle that he just wants a chance to rip them to shreds

- once he has that foothold of a person arguing back with him, there’s no way he’s going to let go

- he’s going to keep going until they get frustrated and leave, too

- once kokichi is pissed, he’s pissed

- even after they leave from the initial incident, if they interact with you or kokichi anymore, while kokichi may not even be aware of why he dislikes that person so much, he’ll still probably insult them a little bit

- there’s not much at that point that they could do to get back on his good graces

- he just has a level of protectiveness over you or anyone that he cares about that requires him to dislike anyone who says negative things about you

- he may not be the world’s sweetest boyfriend, but he really does try hard to be a good partner in his own way

- because, after all, you do put up with him every day, so he’s got to show his gratitude some how, right ?

- he’s really thankful that you stuck with him so long, which is another thing he won’t admit

- i feel like his family life may not be the best, so he really clings to relationships like d.i.c.e that give him some validation

- sometimes the poor boy just needs someone to stick around, ,

- in conclusion, kokichi really lowkey loves your body no matter what it may look like, because those things don’t really matter to him. the only thing that matters is that you’re ‘ fun ‘ to be around. or, translated from kokichi speech, just be by his side. he really just needs someone to laugh & cry with

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russianredassassin · 5 years

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Huntress x Female Reader - De-stressing after a mission

Hello all this was kind of requested by a message I got from Anonymous - Omg I saw that nsfw alphabet with Helena (which rocked my world btw) and that part where she had like rare moments when she would go full dom mode on u to let off steam FUCKED ME UP!!! I was wondering if u could write something abt that pls! Thanks for always blessing my tl!!!

A little thing, I changed the request a little because I struggled with writing a full fic about the subject mainly because I haven't written a full smut fic before. So I am sorry, but I hope you all enjoy never the less :)

Word count - 409 words

Warnings - A little bit nsfw, but not full on smut

There she stood. Helena Bertinelli aka Huntress standing in the doorway, dressed in her leather Huntress gear. Breathing heavily, hair sticking to her forehead from the layers of sweat, glistening on her head and arms. All the while, looking at me with a look I have never seen on her before. A look almost predatory in nature.

“Helena?” I said, slightly confused by the way she’s looking at me, but I gave a reassuring smile nevertheless. Then, like a predator would. She pounced, grabbing my face and kissing me. Hard. To say I was shocked was an understatement, normally Helena was so soft when it came to affection. But I soon kissed back, putting my arms around her, putting as much effort and emotion as Helena was then she grabbed my hair to break off the kiss and look me in the eyes. I look right back into hers. That was when she leaned down to my ear.

“Bedroom Now” Helena whispered to me. Feeling her hot breath on my skin made me shiver, I knowingly smiled and eagerly nodded at her which caused her to pick me up with her big strong arms and carrying me our shared bedroom.

Once we got to our bedroom, Helena threw me onto the bed and while keeping her eyes locked on me, jumped onto me once again starting to kiss me and all the while practically tearing off her clothes off plus my own until we were just two naked bodies, kissing and touching with Helena on top of me. When suddenly she used an arm to pin my wrists above my head. Locking them in place as Helena towed over me, still breathing heavily and eyeing me like she was going to devour me. Then, her head swiftly moved to my neck, nuzzling into it while planting kisses along it. I tried wriggling out of Helena’s grip, but she just chuckled against my skin. She continued to kiss me along my neck then journeyed lower, till she met my breasts and layered kisses all over them. She then journeyed lower still until she reached my lower stomach. Helena then glanced up at me, eyes locked with each other, a look on her face as if to say May I? To which I only had one reply

“Yes” I practally blurted out. Helena meanwhile just smiled and dove between my legs. Causing my head to fall back onto the pillows and thrust my hips at Helena. It was going to be a long night.

#Huntress #huntress imagine #helena bertinelli #helena bertinelli x reader #helena bertinelli imagine #helena bertinelli headcanons #Birds of Prey #Birds of Prey (And The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)#headcanons #dc #requested #request

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night-raven-dorms · 5 years

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Spicy Headcanons

A/N: Yup. This is my milestone celebration gift. I just want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone for following because I was honestly not expecting the blog to grow this quickly. I made this blog with the mentality that it would get lost in the sea of blogs that are so much better than this one. Then a week later I get smacked in the face with 50 followers, and now we’re hitting close to 100. That being said, I decided to combine the 50 and 100 milestone. Enjoy you spice lovers~! Also I’m just noticing now how long Malleus and Idia’s went on... whoops. Also I apologize if these are cringe

- The forever grateful GW

Idia Shroud:

A switch (I’ll explain later)

As you probably could all guess, he was shy about the first couple of times you did it, so you had to take lead

When he gets the hang of things

Have fun

One of the things that drives him wild is if and when you keep his sweatshirt on while you guys do it.

You have done a lot of things in his computer chair

You have, and multiple times, sucked his dick underneath his desk. A couple of times it lead to you riding him in the chair

Speaking of riding him, that’s his favorite position because he can see all of you. Not only that, but he can keep you close and kiss you

Luckily you don’t have the “dead fish” problem with him. He loves to hold your hips to set a pace, and he does thrust into you.

He’s a bit on the whiner side of moaning

Did I ever mention that he is a god with his mouth? Because he is.

The boy has woken you up by giving you head before on multiple occasions because he likes watching you slowly come to realization and come undone. Just saying

Hey, remember when I said he was a switch?

Well, one time you were being a tease and edging him on, and you could have sworn you saw his hair flicker red. You kept doing it and he suddenly flipped you over. His hair was dark red and he had a certain look in his eyes (if anyone has seen the “Idia online” picture someone did. Yeah it’s that one)

You didn’t walk after that one

Yeah, Idia has two modes: online red mode and blue mode

Blue Idia is a gentle, cute, submissive, bottom

Red Idia is a sexy hot piece of dominant top

Red Idia moans are 😚👌

Red Idia’s favorite position is face down ass up

It’S tHe BeSt oF bOtH wOrLdS

Also he probably builds his own toys. Ignihyde is the tech dorm

He has a thing for thigh high socks. Pass it on

He’s a butt guy. Just trust me.

And just between you and me... I heard he likes getting hickies from you

Malleus Draconia:

This boy is a gentle Dom. He’s a lot stronger than he looks, and he doesn’t want to hurt you

Worships you like a god(dess). He doesn’t have a favorite part of your body. He loves all of you

Top but leaning switch. He likes to take charge, but if you want to ride him, go for it.

Guy or girl, he will treat you like a pillow princess. Like, he will literally take care of you in bed

(You’ll understand this one if you’ve read the Diasomnia dorm HC’s) Malleus puffing out smoke is oddly attractive and lowkey cute don’t @ me

It mostly happens when he gets frustrated. i.e. one time when he was close to cumming in your mouth, he huffed out of frustration when you suddenly stopped, and you could see a really light cloud of smoke escape his lips

Speaking of lips, he loves to kiss you when either of you are close. Tbh he just wants to show his love for you

Just because I keep mentioning how sweet he is, doesn’t mean he can’t be a little rough because he can, and will if asked/brought to that state

You can always tell when he’s like that because his pupils are dilated so thin

Even if his thrusts get deeper, harder, and faster he won’t ever harm you besides making you sore. Like – for example – you wanted him to choke you, he’ll only pit a hand around your neck but won’t actually commit to it

He’s actually pretty vanilla. The farthest he’s gone (so far at least) is blindfolding and ice play. He’s not really into the freaky during sex unlike a certain pink and black haired boy i know 👀

He loves it when you grip onto him

Listen, he’s probably touch starved let him have this

And give special love and attention to the two huge scars on his back. He’ll practically melt if you do

Btw, his favorite position is missionary because he can see all of you and other reasons stated above

Oh yeah,

He has stamina. And when I say stamina, I mean stamina

Azul Ashengrotto:

Another gentle dom... or so it seemed

The first couple of times, he treated you lovingly and was very gentlemanly about it. You could always tell something was off though

One day/night before you guys started you told him to “not hold back anymore” and he was hesitant about it.

“Are you sure?”

“Azul I’m not a piece of paper.”

Yeah, you couldn’t walk the next day

He’s got two modes (like Idia lol) one is where he’s loving, and the other is sadistic

He can and more than likely will dirty talk you. He’ll stop if you feel uncomfortable with it

There are two main places: the bedroom and his office

Being dorm leader and manager puts a lot of stress on him and he’s gotta release the stress and anger somehow

When you guys do it in the office, you’re bent over/on his work desk

Floyd and Jade hear you guys but don’t say anything. They do give you knowing glances though

Shower sex

One time you were messing around at the lounge and you found the employee uniforms and put one on. Azul walked in on you and just lost it

Jade and Floyd yeeted out of there real fast

There was the other time you dressed as a maid too

Alright look, I’m not saying he has tentacles, but he can probably summon some. Cue the “I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going”

One of the best people to give after care (the other being Vil, but that’s for another time). Like while you’re cleaning up he makes you your favorite drink, changes the sheets, helps you get dressed, and cuddles you until you fall asleep

Trey Clover:

One of the two tops in Heartslabyul

If any of you are surprised, look at his face. His face alone says it all

I hope you’re prepared because this boy is one of the rougher and riskier ones

He’s also a bastard

Quickies in the bathroom between classes. Somehow you both don’t get caught

I’m going to be very real with you, he’s a bit of a sadist

Orgasm denials you for fun

Enjoys watching you attempt to get yourself off when he suddenly stops using his hand

The type of person that just stops thrusting when he sees your about to cum

Listen, if you want to be on top, you gotta assert yourself. Like literally keep your hands on his chest and start moving (he knows he’s stronger than you and can probably flip you, but he let’s you do your thing)

Wall sex with impatient Trey. Just imagine it

Likes to mark your body with hickies. He’ll put it in places you can hide it. He’s not that much of an asshole

If you really want to turn the tables on him, suck his dick. Cool demeanor = gone

Has made an interesting way to tutor you for classes you struggle in

Aka the more questions you get right, the faster his hand goes. The more you get wrong it gets slower

Now you maybe wondering why I keep mentioning his hands. That’s because he has the “yaoi hands.” You know the guys hands that are super nice, big, with the long fingers

Listen, I know I said he’s a top, but one of his favorite positions is when your in his lap leaning back on him as he thrusts into you

One time you jokingly wore a crown, and he literally called you a king/queen the entire time. Safe to say you were shook

Divus Crewel:

Ah yes. Divus Crewel

He is all types of everything

Do I even need to make the joke of what position he likes the most? Because uh 🐶

He got you a beautifully made red collar. There was a doggy tag, but you take it off when you wear it in public so it looks like a choker. All the students are confused when the professor gets shaken up when his assistant walks in to hand him papers

Being with Divus means you have a lot of nice and pricy clothing. Lingerie included (for my females out there)

His favorite on you is black and red babydoll with little white bows. That plus one of his fur coats makes him feral crazy. Be ready to be pounded

You guys have done some risky stuff. Like you hiding underneath his office desk and giving him head. Or you wearing a vibrator while you were working on papers (he started turning it up when he was bored). Or you guys having a quickie in the staff bathroom

Time to address the elephant in the room: the riding crop

He uses it to give you, ahem, “punishments” 👀

He has multiple, but they all look the same. You can’t tell the difference, but he can and he constantly teases you about telling the students what it’s used for

You’ve gotten a glove kink because of him

Will go down on you like an all you can eat buffet (he’s probably had you sit on his face before)

Doesn’t exactly moan, but he does pant

get it like a dog? (someone shoot me for that... jk don’t really pls)

He uses his tie as a blindfold and/or gag

Highly recommend that you pull his hair a bit. He loves it

He has a love seat in his bedroom...

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shizekarnstein · 5 years

Text

At first I had doubts about posting this bc as a prequel fan I GET how annoying is to have to read and listen as so many ppl at once make fun and nickpick everything about a movie you like but... god was this bad. Like so so bad.

Lets start with the opening credits. I honestly start laughing right there. Palpatine pulls as Moriarty and leaves a threatening message announcing his return and im ????? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME INSTEAD OF S H O W I N G AAAAAAH. As soon as I saw that I knew I was in for an unconfortable ride.

I'll try to make this short.

Things I liked: aka the Good.

For the first time in years C3PO was actually funny? He made me laugh fulltime.

The new droid. Protect it pls.

Reys training montage.

Hans cameo. Especially his I know.

Luke and Leias flashback even if kind of contradicts everything about ST Leia but more on that later.

Force ghost Luke.

?????

Oh god I can't think of anything else????

Lando and his like three lines.

Oh I supposed all the people arriving to end the new sith fleet or whatever was cool if kind of unrelevant. Yes disney we know it's up to us regular people teaming up to put a stop to tyrannical regimes but the OT already told that. And better.

Palpatine's evil bitch energy. On that note I also liked Hux petty and dramatic energy.

The seeds for Kylos conflict were there more or less for the wholr three movies so AT LEAST that arc felt somewhat logical. Even if the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

At least the final shot was pretty??????

Oooh and Chewie's medal.

Things I didn't like: aka the Bad.

Lack of any semblance of glue connecting the story as a whole. For me at least it felt like a lot (and I mean a lot) of disconected threads and plot points one after each other.

John is a phenomenal actor but omg the "trio scenes" are horrible. I tried but I couldnt feel a single thing watching them. Their lines also felt so empty to me. In general I didn't connect with any of tje dialogue.

Finns arc is?????? Horrible.

Same as Poes (even is Oscar is like extra sexy this time around). Please stop trying to make him the new Han Solo.

Rose. Like cmon she deserved a better role.

The whole lets erase 3pos memory arc.

Rey can use force lighting.

Honestly I hated all the storylines.

Rey and Kylos fight in the watery version of Mustafar.

Palpatine is... just there. No explanation whatsoever.

REY PALPATINE.

His weird ass ritual like sooo unnecesary pls.

The force reviving people just bc rip Anakin.

It's not as if they didn't have the budget to make all the forces ghosts they wanted so WHY ONLY VOICEOVERS IM SO MAD.

The exegol plot was just such a mess. And boring. This is one of my major problems with the movie: I had never been so bored watching sw in my entire life. I almost fell asleep multiple times. Why.

LEIA BEING A JEDI CONTRADICTS LIKE EVERYTHING OF THE PREVIOUS MOVIES LIKE. AND HER REASONS FOR QUITTING IM. It was all in vain. Also omg they should have killed Leia in TLJ and be done with that bc her scenes in ROS are so so messy.

How they rushed Kylos redemption like. Well you healed me and my mother died and after interacting with this hallucination of my father (whom I killed btw just bc for the evil lols) I guess I don't want to opress the galaxy anymore.

Rey returning to Tatooine to bury the lightsabers pls.

REY PALPATINE.

Also wtf is that narrative: we, the palpatines, love our daughter very much. So we are going to sell and abandon her. For her own good.

Also ew Palpatine had a biological son. Who apparently wasn't as important as his granddaughter or something.

ASSPULLS EVEYWHERE.

And now the Funny:

C3PO is the MVP. srsly he was the only character I liked in the whole movie. What a legend.

Kylos new mask with red veins like omg I was laughing so hard

HUX BEING A PETTY BITCH AND ONLY CARING ABOUT KYLOS RUIN. AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES. I stan.

When they ran out of Carrie Fisher footage and compensated by throwing some pillows under a blanket and tried to make me feel something for "leias body".

The mustafar watery edition.

Rey being so angry all the fucking time.

Finn in general was a joke. Sorry finn fans.

The dialogue was so forced I coped by laughing all the time.

Palpatines evil lair.

THE KNIGHTS OF REN WERE SO USELESS OMG.

The tiny alien whose name I forgot.

Chewies resurrection.

The final showdown.

REY PALPATINE.

Guys I can't wrapped my head around the fact PALPATINE FUCKED.

When Ben dies and zaz his and leias bodies dissapear I laughed so hard the guy who was sitting at my right (who btw fell asleep in the middle of the movie 😂) startled.

So as you can see... i had to use humour as a coping mechanism to even endure this movie. They truly ruined Anakin and Luke so I guess the ot and pt are a waste of time. Anakin didn't destroy palpatine. Leia and the rest couldnt do shit to at least preserve the so hard won peace. Also rip padme im sorry the secret spell to revive the dead was invented like 50 years later.

#sw spoilers #ros spoilers #star wars #the rise of skywalker #my opinion #i really hope there are ppl who liked it bc good for you!! im so happy if you liked it

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heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet · 4 years

Text

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th

Mood/anxiety = numb.

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick.

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO.

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done.

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep.

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator.

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship.

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same.

---Emotionally it hurts the same.

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way.

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am.

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation.

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate.

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally.

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety - still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested.

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way.

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean.

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board.

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum.

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far.

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine.

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict.

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed.

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings.

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days.

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely.

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness".

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room.

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod.

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am.

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes.

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok.

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house.

We are having a picnic social distancing style.

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around. But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction)

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives.

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant.

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past.

#mental health #lost #hurting #help #self reflection #finelinebetweenloveandhate #still breathing #GAD #recovery #survivor

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pa-pa-plasma · 5 years

Text

my personal chronic migraine symptoms, in no particular order or ranking

warning for some of these btw. just wanted to write them down. Does anyone else experience any of these too cuz all i get when i look into migraines is "migraines hurt and thats it :) ". I may have forgotten some, so assume this is only a taste of what life is like for me!

pain: yes, this is a symptom. "painless" migraines are a thing and they feel very weird. imagine breaking your arm and feeling it, but not feeling any pain. The pain, when i feel it which is a vast majority of the time, usually beats. i assume the pain spikes every time my heart beats. Sometimes its in my eyes, sometimes generally in my brain. Causes me to physically wince because its too much for me to handle.

Extreme sensitivity: everything hurts me. Smells, lights, sounds, physical touch, etc. causes me physical pain. Most common symptom. I usually just sit in bed in the dark in loose boxers n nothing else cuz clothes make me hurt

Insatiable hunger: exactly what it sounds like. I feel a physical hunger that lasts as long as the migraine. I can and will eat until I am sick, and even then, when im hovering around the bathroom because my stomach is so full i just might puke, i still feel as though I havent eaten in days.

Nausea: my stomach is in my throat at all times. Not usually paired with hunger

Extreme nightmares: if i manage to fall asleep with a migraine, or pass out from the pain, i will pay with dreams of being killed via getting my head smashed in repeatedly. The scariest nightmares I have ever experienced, since the pain I felt in the dream was 100% real, and was still there in full even after I woke up.

Passing out/fainting: this is always paired with nightmares. Usually the pain knocks me out, and im woken by the pain-induced nightmares. cry for a while. Repeat.

Dizziness/inability to keep balance: this one sucks cuz lying down actually makes the pain worse, so i have to prop myself with pillows against a wall if i wanna get anywhere near comfortable. If i walk anywhere i have to lean on a wall or railing or risk falling and hurting myself

Shaking: im shaking as i write this. I feel it deep in my body. I dont know why.

Extreme temperature: im boiling hot and absolutely freezing at the same time. The trick to this is always go for heat. Dont use ice packs. Cold always makes things worse. Drink lots of water slowly and keep head warm

Runny nose and mouth: super common symptom. Actually how i can tell if i have a serious migraine most of the time (aka if its just passing through or if shits gonna go down). My mouth usually starts over-salivating, and the saliva is thick and sticks to itself. I will have to keep spitting into the sink. Runny nose is less common

Yawning: i realized recently that i yawn more when i have a migraine, even when its days before the worst symptoms show (yes, days. ive had migraines that last for over a week straight). It's not because Im tired. Idk why

Neck and joint pain: this really makes it 10 time more unbearable. my jaw will hurt so much i cant fully close my mouth. Pair this with the spit thing and its a nightmare. Sometimes it feels like the pain is seeping down into my upper spine

I gotta go: yeah. i pee like a racehorse when i have a migraine

Exhaustion: pain, crying, and nearly vomiting can take a lot out of you. If anything good comes out of this, its that i have the best sleeps post-migraine. Nothing beats the feeling of not being in pain after being in extreme pain for several hours! wheres that captain america post about him right after he gets those drugs?? Yeah thats me

Restlessness: i hurt so bad but i cant stop moving. I usually pace in a dark room. If i stop i feel sick. If its a smaller migraine and im trying to sleep through it, (usually propped up because of the whole "lying down making the pain worse" thing) i cant fall asleep because i cant stop moving. Different from adhd restlessness i also experience. Its like if i stop moving the pain intensifies.

#chronic pain #migraine #chronic migraine #symptoms #pain is so fun!!!!!1!!!#at least writing this distracted me til the drugs kicked in

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theladylovingcrow · 5 years

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High Sex is the Best (Just Don't Fall Asleep) - Sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, luluthechoosingcrow- AO3, theladylovingcrow- Devianart and Wattpad

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing(s): Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka, Jake Kiszka/Josh Kiszka in background, slightly implies Danny/Sam/Josh/Jake

Warnings/Tags: Drug use, marijuana, shotgunning, making out, mild smut, gay, voyeurism, masturbation, first kiss, incest, twincest, some attempts at humor

Word Count: 3715

Summary: Sam figures out that he's attracted to his best friend after catching Danny jerking off in the shower. (BTW this story focuses on Danny and Sam, though Jake and Josh are definitely in there)

Author's Notes: Yes, I wrote incest/twincest. If it bothers you, don't read it. This is pure, ridiculous, speculative fiction. I was hesitant to write it, at first, but the twins are so cute and I think it fits well, at least with this story.

Also I kinda realized the title sounds a bit rapey? Its not, they just fall asleep before it gets to the sex because I lost inspiration. Sorry not sorry.

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your room, Monsueir, I hope everything is to your pleasure," Sam said in an awful French accent, bowing as Danny walked past him into their hotel room.

His best friend giggled and surveyed the room they had rented for the next two and a half days. The boys of Greta Van Fleet had elected to go to a Motel 6 during their longer stay in Minnesota instead of sleeping on the bus. Overall, the room was plain and oddly sea themed, but it would do the job.

"I think it's lovely! Very nice view, here," Danny replied, opening the puke orange curtains to survey the parking lot and Kmart across the street.

"Yes, very cozy," Sam said in his regular voice, kicking their duffel bags to one side of the queen sized bed. "But no, honestly, the room sucks. I might go back and sleep in the bus."

"What? I thought you said you didn't mind? It was all about the music, and that we play better together because we're so close and in tune with each other. Change your mind?"

Sam snorted and looked back at Danny, still by the window.

"Oh, no, I still believe all that. I just have a headache and I don't wanna listen to whatever the hell Jake and Josh are doing next door. I'm kind of in a crappy mood, sorry."

Danny grinned to match the

bassist. That was the Sam he knew.

"What makes you think they're gonna be at it tonight? Josh was complaining about *his* headache from your snoring all the way here."

Sam looked affronted.

"I do not snore!"

"Nuh-uh, you totally do. Remember, we even video taped it that year we went to the cabin on the lake."

Sam just pouted and threw a pillow from the bed at Danny, who caught it and tossed it right back at his face. They both set to work unpacking a few choice items and familiarizing themselves with the motel room's meager offerings.

"Hey, mints!" Danny cried from the corner, bent over the rickety desk to inspect what was on it. "And menus. Wanna order pizza?"

"You know I do," Sam said, "but let's see if my brothers have plans to go somewhere, or if they already ordered something."

"Hmm, yeah, good idea," Danny replied, already immersed again in going through the contents of the desk.

Sam pocketed the key card, just in case Danny wasn't able to open the door again for some reason, and went to the room directly to their left.

Jake answered the door, cheeks flushed and expression annoyed at being interrupted in whatever he was doing. Peering past him, Sam could see his eldest brother Josh lying on the bed, looking pretty well on his way to being fucked (and not the drug kind).

Ah, so Josh was what he had been doing. Okay, cool, that was pretty normal. Well, most people would disagree, horrified, but Sam's brothers had always been like this, and he saw no problem with the love and understanding they clearly had. He was a little bummed that he most likely wouldn't be getting a good night's sleep, though.

"Hey, do you guys have dinner plans? Danny and I want to order pizza."

"Nah, pizza sounds good. We'll, uh, come by and get it when we're ready to eat," Josh said from the bed, his voice raspier and deeper than normal.

Sam noticed that Jake's pants were also undone and slipping off of one bony hip, having been pulled on in a hurry.

He smirked at his brothers, and said, "Okay, sounds good. Enjoy the blow job!" Before pulling the door shut himself and turning to his and Danny's room.

He knocked on the blue door, and waited for his best friend to come let him in. Danny didn't come to the door, though, and if Sam strained his ears, he could hear the faint sound of the shower running through the clanking pipes.

'Thank God I thought to grab the key card, wouldn't want to spend the next twenty minutes in the twins' room cockblocking them. They always get so cranky when they can't get it on, damn horndogs.'

He let himself in, ordering the pizza then sitting down on the bed him and Danny would share the next two nights. They were all used to passing out in a pile on the floor, or sharing tents and bunks when camping, or even hotel beds like tonight when they still preferred to save money by getting one queen. Basically, they all slept together all the time and thought nothing of it.

Other people probably thought it was weird. Weird that his brothers were fucking, weird that he lay snuggled up to Josh's back with Danny's arms around his waist while they did it. Sam pondered what an outsider's perception to his life would be. But it didn't really matter in the end, did it? Like he told Danny, he was in this for the music. And it really did make them play better, he thought, knowing each other so closely.

Speaking of Danny, he was taking a long time in the shower. He could be washing his luxurious hair, or he could be jerking off. Maybe he was listening to Jake and Josh through the thin motel walls.

Sam grinned, and stealthily tip toed over to the bathroom door. He turned the knob, and smiled even wider when it opened without a noise. Looks like hotel maintenance actually upkept this room.

Creeping over to the sea horse patterned curtain, Sam prepared to rip it open and hopefully scare Danny out of his mind.

With a sudden "Hyyahhh!", he tore open the shower curtain to find his best friend with his hand wrapped around his erection.

"Ahhh!" Danny screamed, higher pitched than Josh's wailing onstage.

"Gotcha!" Sam cried, curiously pleases that he caught Danny jerking off.

It was just that he'd caught him doing something embarrassing, right? But, no, not really. His brothers didn't really make any attempts to mask their sounds of pleasure and shifting movements in the dark, and neither did Sam when he felt the need. Once Danny had gotten used to that (and it sure was a shocker the first few times), he hadn't hesitated to take care of a boner either. Danny had even fucked a girl while sitting on a couch right next to Sam.

So, 'embarrassing' wasn't the reason he was absolutely gleeful at catching (aka seeing) this. Danny didn't seem to mind, either, as he'd gone right back to stroking himself once the surprise of Sam's sudden appearance wore off.

"Is the pizza here already? I swear it hasn't been *that* long."

"Nah, man. Still probably have twenty minutes or so."

"Okay, so, did you- uhhh- did you need something?" Danny asked, moaning softly as his hand sped up.

"I dunno, I was bored," Sam answered. What was he supposed to say now, especially with the way he was mesmerized with seeing the mess of soap suds Danny was using as lube slide down his balls?

"I'm pretty entertained now, though," he blurted out. Sam guessed his mouth had decided that flirty and playful was the way to go in this emotionally confusing but increasingly hot situation.

"Uh- okay, sure. Just don't pull the curtain back any, anymore or water will- *fuck*- go everywhere. *Shit*." Danny got out, sounding breathless and preoccupied.

Sam wasn't going to pass up this opportunity to really observe, not just listen, so he leaned against the wall and watched to his heart's content.

Danny was stroking fast, now, his feet widened so that he could thrust his hips in tiny circles and not slip on the slick floor. His balls, much darker than the rest of his body and still covered in soap, swung gently with the motion. Sam couldn't get enough of seeing his dark pink head poke out from the foreskin every time Danny's hand started on the downstroke.

Sam stood and watched as Danny threw his head back, groaning low at the back of his throat as cum fell onto his fist and the shower floor. His own skinny jeans were noticeable tighter, he realized, after awareness of what just happened came to him.

Ehh, whatever. This wasn't the weirdest thing they'd done, and he doubted that it would make things awkward.

Sam whistled. "Damn, dude, that was kind of impressive."

"Kind of? Fuck you, Kiszka, I'm hotter than a shish kebab."

Sam snorted at the odd saying, but had to agree with it none the less. Danny was *really fucking hot.* That was why he's so exited, then: He's attracted to his best friend. Oddly, the thought didn't cause him alarm or disgust, just a level of clarity.

"You are. That was great, and now we get to have pizza!"

There had been a knock at the door a few seconds before, which could only be one thing: warm, cheesy, greasy pizza. Okay, it could have also been one of his brothers, but he didn't think they'd come up for air for another hour.

Danny smirked at his boner, but said nothing. Sam went to grab the food, being the clothed one, while Danny dried off and slipped on a pair of boxers. Danny didn't seem bothered by what had happened, either, in fact he appeared to be in a great mood. And that was just fine with Sam.

They both settled against the pillows on the bed, Sam now in his boxers and a soft tee shirt. An old western that neither of them had ever heard of was playing on the TV, and a pizza box lay by their feet.

"Hey, Danny, what's the best thing about Switzerland?" Sam suddenly asked.

"Um, I don't know. I don't know much about Switzerland. The chocolate?"

"I don't know either. But, the flag is a big plus!" Sam said, obviously trying to hold back his giggles. An ugly snort broke loose, though.

Danny bit his lip in an effort not to laugh, but Sam's ridiculous face and noises were hard to ignore. And it *had* been kind of a funny joke, if a really corny one.

They laughed together at the stupid joke Sam totally got off the internet, and polished off their box of pizza.

Danny groaned and rubbed his full belly; Sam yawned and stretched.

"Man, that was great. I swear the Dominoes at home doesn't make it like that," Sam said, yawning again.

"Yeah, I don't know what it was, but that pizza tasted ten times better than it normally does. Maybe because we haven't had any in awhile?"

"You call three days a while? But, yeah, it does tend to taste better when you've been craving it. What do you want to do now?" Sam asked.

"I dunno, dude, it's kinda early to go to bed but there's not much else to do. This motel has shitty channels."

"All motels have shitty channels, Dan. Wanna catch a drink, maybe? Go out?"

"Hmm, not really in the mood to get dressed again. I just wanna chill, you know? But some beer would be good, or a joint. You got shit?"

Sam grinned at him. "Of course I do. Here, let me put some music on. Maybe Jake and Josh will join us, they should be about done and hungry now."

The twins were indeed done (for the moment) and ready to eat their dinner. Danny got up to let them in as Sam put on his favorite Miles Davis album on his phone and lit up.

"Alright, it's a party! Pass that over, Sammy," Jake demanded, plopping down on the bed next to him.

Sam took a hit, shot gunned the smoke into Danny's mouth, then passed the joint over to his brother.

There: that was practically a kiss just then! And neither of them thought anything of it! Maybe watching Danny jerk off was just the next natural step in their relationship. After all, they were already extremely close, and, some might consider, intimate.

They all bobbed their heads to the music and slowly got high together; Sam was sharing more stupid jokes while the twins snuggled and breathed smoke into each other's mouths in between lazy kisses. Danny was lying in the middle of the bed, his head in Sam's lap so his best friend could play with his hair. They talked and laughed for hours, about everything from their show the next day to that chick from their high school who was STILL trying to bang Josh, no matter how many times he said no.

Eventually, Sam's brothers said goodnight and left, whispering much louder than they thought about how high sex was the best and that they were totally going to fuck until they passed out.

Sam waved them out with one hand, the other still tangled in Danny's thick hair. He felt so relaxed and content in that moment that a landslide coming towards the hotel couldn't of made him move.

"They're right, high sex is the best. Every thing feels so much- so much *more*."

Sam looked down at Danny and nodded in agreement.

"Hey, we're high. Wanna have sex?" Sam asked. Would Danny say yes? There was actually a possibility that he would, but, if not, that would be fine, too. Just hanging out with his best friend was enough.

"Sure, why the fuck not?" Danny replied.

Alright! What's it gonna be like, Sam wondered. Hot? Probably. Awkward? Not likely, at this point. How far were they gonna go? Danny was a fine looking guy, and Sam trusted him, but he was not ready to take it up the ass if they lasted that long.

Sam sucked in another lungful of smoke and scooted down the bed so that he was lying next to Danny, arms around him and a hand still curled into his hair. He leaned forward to shotgun the smoke, but, this time, he didn't pull away immediately.

One of Danny's hands found its way underneath his shirt, smoothing over his flat stomach. Sam gripped the side of his best friend's face and breathed out, passing the high between them as their lips mushed together. It was nice.

Really nice, actually. Sam was feeling very calm about the whole experience, practically watching it from outside his body on another plane. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the comfort of being right next to his best friend, but Sam felt at ease.

Also pretty horny, because hot DAMN was Danny doing something with his tongue. He kept licking at the seam of their lips like he was trying to taste the smoke escaping from the sides of their mouths.

Sam sucked on Danny's lower lip, making it dark and swollen. He then pulled back to catch a breath and look at his bandmate.

What a sight Danny was, with his long hair flowing around his shoulders, kissed lips, and heavy lidded eyes. Not to mention the blissed out expression on his face.

"Mmm, that is nice, and all we've even done is kissed."

"No, I watched you earlier, remember? I'm pretty sure that counts towards the... the sex."

"Oh, yeah," Danny remembered with a dopey smile on his face. "I liked having you watch me, it was hot. I haven't cum like that in a while."

"Wanna do that again? I liked watching you. You can watch me too, if you want."

Danny nodded and leaned back in for another cannabis flavored kiss. They finished off the joint in between slow, heavy french kisses and dropped the roach in a marinara sauce container, now more occupied with making out.

Sam was in heaven, there was no other way to describe it. Danny's large, warm hands roamed all over his torso: pressing flat into his stomach, gripping his hips, smoothing down his shoulder blades and pinching his nipples. The feeling of his best friend's hair was smoother than silk in between his fingers, and it was so thick that he was able to grab handfuls of it just so he could hang on for the ride.

Sam should have known that, out of anyone, Danny would be the person who had him whipped. They kissed and they moaned and they dry humped, just a little bit, until they were so sleepy and contented that they passed out on top of each other. What a disappointment.

//////////////

Sam woke up with a mothful of Danny's hair and a warm belly pressing on his erection. He smiled as hazy memories of the night before ghosted through his head: the pizza, the weed, the kissing, his newfound love interest.

He realized that he should probably spit out the hair in his mouth so that he wouldn't suffocate before him and Danny actually got a chance to have sex. Because he was pretty sure that hadn't happened last night. Pretty sure. It was kind of fuzzy.

"Hey, Danny, did we fuck last night?"

Danny groaned in response and pulled him closer, causing the drummer's own boner to rub against Sam's. How long had he been awake?

"No, no, I don't think we did. We could now, though."

Sam grinned. What an excellent idea! He rolled them over so that this time, Danny was lying on top of him.

They kissed, sloppy and sweet, musty breathes mingling in the air between them. Sam ran his hands up and down Danny's strong back, then traced the edge of his pants. He reached in between them to pull out Danny's co-

Jake busted through the door. "Hey! Which one of you took my sunglasses? I know you have them."

He paused for a minute to stare at their compromising position.

"God dammit! Josh is gonna be so fucking smug, you couldn't have waited another year to shack up?"

Sam and Danny just smiled at Each other and went back to kissing. They'd get to sex eventually. And Sam was looking forward to it.

#fanfiction #slash fiction #sam kiszka #danny wagner #samxdanny #sanny #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #joshxjake #joash #fluff #smut #humor #my writing #lulucrowproductions #contains incest #greta van fleet

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sooghostwriter · 6 years

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CLUB ıFinaleı

Genre: AU. Adult. Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC Plot: Moon Soo goes to EXO Club (aka EXO Strip club) one day, and falls under the spell of one dancer, D.O.

Notes: i’m so sorry for the late update, but life got in the way. I went on vacation, and then SM Town happened (yes, I had Kyung Soo right in front of me). But here I am. I want to thank you all for the support, the comments and the love. Enjoy the last chapter. Remember to listen to the playlist! BTW, the song he dances is CBX’s Thursday.

Chapter 5.

Moon Soo went to pick up Kyung Soo at the coffee shop where he worked after her shift. She arrived a bit early, so she walked around the neighborhood checking the store’s window displays. She wished she could find something for Kyung Soo, a present to commemorate his new job. She walked for a while until she found him a black apron at a specialized store. She still had some minutes to kill, so she went to Kyong Soo’s coffee to wait for him. He was preparing something in the machine very focused, so he didn’t see her when she walked into the store and ordered. The girl at the register told him what she ordered and gave him a cup with her name on it.

He came back to the sophisticated coffee machine, Moon Soo still unnoticed. After a couple of minutes of explosives noises and steam, he was done with her coffee “Moon Soo?” He called, not looking ahead “Here! Thank you D.O” She said playfully, grabbing her cup. He looked up startled “Moon Soo, you are early”

“I know, I will wait for you over there” She pointed at a comfy couch at the back of the shop “Ok, I’ll be done in 15 minutes” In the 15 minutes that passed, at least 10 costumers arrived, and Kyung Soo prepared the 10 coffees quickly.

He appeared with his street clothes after his shift ended with a middle-age woman behind him “We will miss you Kyung Soo, take care ok”

“Yes ma’am, thank you for everything” He bowed at her and gave Moon Soo a signal to come with him. He offered his hand and Moon Soo grabbed it, walking outside the coffee shop. When they were outside, he turned around facing the glass walls “I quit this job today”

“You did? Why?”

“I need to focus on cooking, and they pay me more at the restaurant now, so I can survive without the coffee money”

“Congratulations Kyung Soo” He looked at her puzzled “You are taking a new step, and that takes braveness and it needs to be congratulated”

“Thank you”

“So now you only have the job at the restaurant, the karaoke and the club”

“Yes”

“Still sounds like a lot”

“Yeah, in the future I will probably quit at the karaoke place” She was kind of relieved “Not the club uh?”

“Oh no, I love it there” He started walking with her, swinging their joined hands “Good for you, good for us, good for everybody”

“You don’t want me to quit the club?”

“Of course is your decision, but no, not only because you are amazing but also because I know you like it, you love it, you like the rush it gives you, you love to dance, you love your friends there, so why quit when you don’t have too, at least not yet” He stopped on his tracks again, grabbing her other hand, making her face him “Again, you get it”

“I get it”

Working with kids was always her favorite part of the job. They were very brave. But also, they always came with parents, and parents were terrible.

A birthday party went wrong when the kids got food poisoned with the chicken. Now the ER was populated by 10 kids, with their respective mothers and fathers. Her head was killing her, so she needed a break. One of her colleagues took her position and she went for some needed 30 minutes of rest. She still had the night ahead. She checked her phone and found two missed calls from Kyung Soo and a message telling her to call him as soon as possible. She got really worried, she wished she had his number on speed dial so she could call him faster. He picked up after the 2nd ring “Kyung Soo, did something happen?”

“Yeah, I got kicked out from my apartment” He sounded so sad and worried, she wanted to run to him and console him “Why?”

“My landlord found out about my job, she said a lot of things regarding my morals and stuff and kicked me out, she even gave me back my deposit” She was fuming all of the sudden “That bitch!” A nurse that was passing by jolted at her cursing, she bowed at her apologetically “And where are you know? What are you going to do?” He cleaned his throat a bit nervous “I was thinking, May I stay at your apartment until I find a new place? I could stay with one of the guys, but the possibility terrifies me” She sat down at a bench relieved, she was thinking on proposing that, but she was worried Kyung Soo wouldn’t like the idea “I’m glad we were thinking the same, I’m not going to be there until tomorrow morning, but make yourself at home, ok?”

“Thank you, Sehun and the other guys are helping me with my things, you don’t mind them at your house?”

“Of course not, are you going to need my car?”

“No, I have that covered”

“Ok, see you tomorrow then” He took a deep breath and his voice sounded so much calmer when he said “Moon Soo, Thank you”

“I’m glad I could help you”

She normally left work an hour after the end of her shift, there were always things to do, information to give to her colleagues. This time she dashed out the door as soon as the clock marked 8 o’clock.

She picked up breakfast on her way and went home. Kyung Soo was just getting dressed when she arrived.

His energy was very low. His eyes looked tired, and his voice sounded different. Even the way he walked was slower than usual. She wouldn’t say he was sad, he looked disappointed. She gave him a tight hug and brought him to the kitchen so they could eat “She was so disrespectful, she kept talking at me like someone inferior, and saying things like I can’t imagine what can of life you live, you deceive me and I just stopped listening at some point, I couldn’t answer either, I was in shock and she wouldn’t stop talking, it was so frustrating, and I was terrified, I didn’t know what to do, then she left and threatened with calling the cops If I didn’t leave by today” The more he spoke, the sadder his voice got. Moon Soo kept caressing his back, and with every sentence, she felt more and more disgust up her throat. She was a doctor, yes, and her duty was to save lives, yes, but she was ready to take one life just now “Who she thinks she is?! That amount of disrespect!” Kyung Soo only shrugged “You aren’t hurting anyone with your job, unless you consider sexual frustration a bad thing, but besides that your job is as normal as any other job” Kyung Soo brought his left hand to her thigh, trying to calm her down “Moon Soo?”

“What?!” She shouted unintentionally, but Kyung Soo only chuckled at her tone “Thank you for getting mad, it takes away a lot of frustration when you get mad for me and support me”

“Well…yeah, but…I mean it’s obvious!”

“Yeah, but not everybody is as open-minded as you, especially a fifty-something woman” Now he was comforting her “I guess, but still! kicking out a young, gorgeous, well-behaved man!”

“She thought I was a prostitute” She felt her eyes growing and the anger boiling inside, she took a couple of deep breaths so she wouldn’t break something “What?! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the amount of prejudice!” By now Kyung Soo was amused by her anger, he was grinning meanwhile she felt her eyebrows atrophied into an angry position “Let’s change the subject, you are getting way too work out” He moved his hand from her leg to her back, and slid his other arm over her stomach, engulfing her into a hug. She laid her head against his chest and she felt him dropping a kiss on her head. She started feeling sleepy, feeling calmer with Kyung Soo’s touch and smell. She felt how her body went numb “I think we need to get you to bed”

“Sure roommate” She answered getting up, Kyung Soo followed her close “Are you working tomorrow?”

“No, I got a free day because is my birthday”

“It’s your birthday?!” She took her clothes off and put on her pajama, resting importance to the matter, Kyung Soo was still surprised by the news following her around the bedroom “Why didn’t you tell me?” She got inside her bed, arranging her pillows “I don’t know, is there ever a good timing to say when is your birthday? you ask those things, which reminds me, when is yours?”

“January 12”

“Noted,” She said, tapping the side of her head with one finger. Her eyes were closing. He told her something, but she couldn’t grasp what.

Moon Soo’s birthday tradition was to stay in her pajamas all morning and answer all the calls from family and friends. Then she would go have lunch by herself to some nice restaurant, then buy herself a gift, and then drinks with her friends.

But this year there were some changes.

She woke up early because Kyung Soo had to be at the restaurant at 8 a.m. She stayed in bed as he got ready. He gave her a good morning kiss, a good birthday hug and another kiss “You have plans for lunch? Let me invite you, I have rehearsal at the club, I’ll be done by 2 ”

“Sure, my pleasure”

“And also, Do you have plans this night?”

“Yeah, my friends and I are going for drinks, Wanna come?”

“I can’t, is Friday, but come home as soon as you are done ok?, and don��t get too drunk, you are going to need all your senses for what I have planned” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully and Moon Soo was stunned “Jesus, what did you plan?”

“It’s a secret”

“Kyung Soo! Tell me! I will have to wait until tonight?!”

“Maybe midnight” He winked at her and run outside her bedroom.

She stared at the door of her room for a long time. She mostly cursed at him inside her head. The curiosity was killing her and he just left like that. She didn’t like to wait.

To distract herself she got up and took a bath.

She used a bath bomb, exfoliated and shaved. Whatever surprise Kyung Soo prepared for her it most definitely involved sex, so she wanted to be ready.

As always, her morning consisted of answering birthday phone calls. She had breakfast and then spend a bit more than an hour choosing what to wear on her birthday date.

The day was really nice, the sun was up, and it wasn’t very cold. She drove listening to music, finding everything on her way prettier than other days.

She arrived at the club earlier than she expected, so she parked in front to wait for Kyung Soo.

She was focused on her phone, so she didn’t see the three guys approaching her car.

Someone knocked at her window and she looked expecting to see Kyung Soo. Her disappointment changed to surprise when she realized who was knocking. She recognized them immediately. It was Kai, Xiumin and Baekhyun.

She didn’t like this position at all. She was seated in her car so of course she was lower, and these three guys were looking at her from above, like some kind of 21st-century Greek goods. She wasn’t afraid to recognize that she was quite intimidated.

But then she remembered that she saw two of them in underwear, and she wasn’t intimidated anymore. It was kind of amusing. Instead of rolling down her window, she decided to go out of her car. The guys took a step back and as soon as she was out, they crossed their arms over their chests, at the same time, which was very comical “Are you Kyung Soo’s sugar mommy?” Asked Baekhyun “Did he called me that?”

“Yes, I mean no, but when we called you that he didn’t correct us, he only smiled at us and then left”

“I can see him doing that, then I guess I…” Kai coughed, a fake one, of course, interrupting her “What are your intentions with Kyung Soo?” His two friends jolted in surprise, but regain composure quickly “My intentions?” The three of them nodded once, at the same time. They were waiting for an answer, and she wanted to answer them. She gave herself a couple of seconds to think about her rejoinder, it wasn’t very hard “My intentions with Kyung Soo are…supporting him in what he does, but also try to take some burdens from his back, take care of him in everything I can and provide him with everything he could need” Once she was done, she took a big puff of air and saw how their faces softened. They remained silent, looking at each other “What? What happened with the men of some minutes ago?”

“Yeah, what happened?” Kyung Soo asked, behind Kai. He cursed, turning around, finding Kyung Soo with a severe look on his eyes, but she was sure it was just his normal stare. Moon Soo could swear she saw fear in the face of his friends.

Kyung Soo walked pass his friends and stood next to Moon Soo “Leave her alone, you already got your answer” His voice was far from annoyed. He was sweet. He was explaining to his son’s that dad was okay, or something like that “We were just worried about you” Said Baekhyun, looking at the floor moving his foot nervously “And I appreciate it, but you already heard and saw that she has good intentions”

“And are you guys like…dating?” Baekhyun demeanor changed from embarrassed to high school girl ready to gossip “We haven’t talked about that yet” He answered, his voice severe “Well, you do realize that you are both holding hands, right?” They both looked at their hands and in fact, Kyung Soo at some point had interlocked his fingers with hers, or maybe she did, the fact was that she hadn’t registered that “Well…sure, anyway, the point is that this is none of your business, Moon Soo and I have a date now, so if you excuse us” He released her hand to push his friends away from them. She opened her door and before she got inside, she waved at them and this time the three of them answered back smiling. Kyung Soo walked around the car and they both got inside the car. Before leaving, Moon Soo pulled down her window and shout at them “I forgot to tell you guys that I am a huge fan of your work!”

“Thank you!” The three of them shouted at the same time, Kai bowing and the rest waving profusely.

The rest of the afternoon passed by very quickly. Lunch with Kyung Soo was very fulfilling. Not only food-wise.

He accompanied her to buy herself a gift. She got a new sound system for her house and bought Kyung Soo a new set of fancy headphones since his were about to die. She insisted on buying him a pink set with cat ears, but he only gave her a dead stare and she grabbed a set of very low-key black headphones.

She went back to her place to take a quick nap and change her outfit. She left Kyung Soo at the subway station and before he went off the car, he reminded her about his surprise “Have a good time with your friends, but remember not to get too drunk and be ready for my surprise”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that damn surprise”

“It will be damn, yeah” And he went out of the car.

The friends gathering was great. Her friends invite her to a famous bar, the food never stopped coming, and her glass was always full. She did control herself with the booze. Her friends not too much. But it made her happy to see that they were having a good time.

The clock was about to hit midnight when she excused herself from the table. Some of them made a big deal about her leaving, but they were too drunk to insist.

She took a cab back to her place, and as soon as she got in, she wrote to Kyung Soo that she was on her way.

- Great, everything is ready here, don’t use your keys, knock the door –

He answered. She asked the driver to take the fastest route to her place. And he did. So, she paid him more than necessary. She followed Kyung Soo’s instructions. She knocked at her own door, and when she lifted her hand to do so, she realized how nervous she was. Her hand was shaking, and her heart bit was out of control. She knocked twice and she felt him on the other side of the door. The click of the door opening almost made her hyperventilate. “Welcome,” Said Kyung Soo when she walked in. She couldn’t answer, she was appreciating him. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and equally tight black pants. Once her shoes were off, he grabbed her hand and walked her inside the house. Kyung Soo’s hands were a little bit sweaty, he was nervous, she could tell. He didn’t speak. He only walked ahead of her, until they reached her living room. The lights were dimmed, he had lit some candles and he had made some arrangements in the place. In the center of the room, instead of her modern coffee table, there was a chair “What is this?” She asked, her voice a whisper. She looked in his direction, and Kyung Soo’s outfit now had a new addition. A black cap. The image immediately came to her head. That was the outfit he was wearing the first time she saw him perform “Sit down Moon Soo, I’m going to give you a lap dance” Her world stopped for a long second. And she wasn’t exaggerating.

She wanted to say something. Anything. But the shock was massive, and she couldn’t quite explain how she felt in words. A high pitch scream could be more honest. But Kyung Soo understood it apparently. He chuckled, grabbed her hand and walked her to the chair “I honestly don’t know how to do this, I’m kind of nervous” She squeezed his hand, and made a huge effort to speak out “Don’t worry, you are going to be alright” She could have told him that he didn’t need to do it if he wasn’t comfortable, but she wasn’t a saint, she wasn’t that stupid “I’m just going to copy what my friends do, also, I may have had a couple of drinks, I don’t know why this makes me so nervous, I take my clothes off in front of hundred people! One lap dance can't be that much worst” He was clearly nervous, he stuttered a couple of times, and he was unable to look at her, also, there was this adorable redness on his cheeks, could be the drinks, but most definitely was the embarrassment the entire situation cause him. Instead of saying anything, Moon Soo pulled him into a kiss.

She kissed him slowly, pillowing his lips, caressing his cheeks, nape, shoulders, trying to convey her calm to him, showing him that he was safe with her. This was just between the two of them.

When she parted, Kyung Soo was smiling. His shoulders weren’t stiff anymore, his eyes were less serious, but the redness of his cheeks was still there, and she liked it there “I think I’m ok now”

“Trust me”

“I do” He moved away, and signaled her to sit at the chair. She obeyed, a wide smile on her lips. He moved away, and she grew anxious. She wanted to have him close “I’m going to prepare the music”

“Are we really doing this?”

“Of course, is your birthday gift” He grabbed his phone and walked to her new music system. It took him half a minute to have everything ready, of course, it felt like longer.

The room went silent. She couldn’t even hear her own breathing, mostly because she wasn’t breathing. Kyung Soo walked to her, putting his black cap on “You recognize this outfit?” Of course she did, but she couldn’t say so, she only nodded energetically. He stood in front of her, touching her knees with his body. He bend down, his lips close to her hear “You can’t touch me Moon soo, got it?”

“Really?! I thought I was getting special treatment!” Her voice found a way out, for obvious reasons. This was outrageous. Though Kyung Soo was very amused by it “No, no touching”

“You are bad Do Kyung Soo”

“The worst” He grinned at her, she couldn’t see his eyes because of the lighting and the cap, but she could imagine how dark and dangerous they looked “Are you going to touch me?” She asked hopefully “Of course”

“Ok, good enough” At least she was going to feel him. He moved his attention to his phone, pressed the screen and the music filled the room.

I like that feeling, right before it’s about to get ripe

This distance of just about to touch but not

I don’t think you’re getting any closer

But I like you even more

In this space that’s so perfect

The bit was slow and mellow, the rhythm made her body react. He wasn’t even moving, and she had to hold the chair to keep her hands in line. Kyung Soo walked around her chair, slow, caressing her chest, shoulders, and back on his way. He stood behind her, his hands heavy on her shoulders. He slid them down her arms to her hands. He rested his chin on her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her ear. She closed her eyes, moaning, and she heard his chuckle. Cocky bastard.

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

But now my heart is spilling out

My heart has passed the afternoon

And now is going toward midnight

Story will be starting tonight, yeah

You’ll be mine

Oh, you’ll be mine

When the song reached its chorus, Kyung Soo moved to the front, passing a leg above hers, capturing her between his body and the chair. His hips started rotating, his hands caressing his chest until they reached his hips. He gave a soft thrust and started rolling his body against her, he wasn’t touching her, but she could feel his heat. She wanted to feel him against her bare skin. It was maddening. But she refused to move. She was going to be obedient. Instead, she bit her lip hard.

It’s a night that’s slightly too early to have hearts fluttering

We’ve been stopped and we need a little something different

We’re about to take a step

That’ll be hard to take back once the night is over

When tomorrow’s sun rises

I’m going to slightly pull on us

Her heart was clenched like a fist. She never even dared to dream about this. Kyung Soo was a stoic man, and his word was definitive. He said no lap dances, so no lap dances. Also, she wasn’t fetishizing him as a stripper. He was her lover who happened to be a stripper, but that didn’t define him.

But Kyung Soo was also a man full of surprises. And now he was dancing for her. And her poor, horny heart was having trouble taking all in. And it got worse when he grabbed the hem of his tight shirt and pulled it up, taking it off without further a due. She yelped in surprise, and that cocky grin appeared again.

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

But now my heart is spilling out

My heart has passed the afternoon

And now is going toward midnight

Story will be starting tonight, yeah

He grabbed her right hand causing her to jump on her seat. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, looking straight into her eyes. Her heart clenched harder.

He didn’t release her hand, instead grabbed her wrist with his other hand, and moved it to his chest. She groaned in relief. His skin was hot and incredibly soft. His grip was still strong, he was allowing her to touch him, but he was in control. He kept moving her hand down his chest, till he reached his abdomen. He stopped there for a while. His stomach moved up and down quickly because of his heavy breathing. He was affected too, not as affected as she was, but the excitement was mutual. He kept holding her hand against his stomach, Moon Soo looked up at him and he was staring back at her, his bottom lip between his teeth “Keep moving it down, please Kyung Soo” She begged, “You want to touch me?” His low voice went straight to her core “Yes, please keep moving it down”

You’ll be mine (All the time)

All the time

He grinned at her and slowly slid their hands down over his belt and then right on top of his zipper. She moaned when she felt him, big and hard under her palm. She moved on her seat uncomfortably. Her thighs opened and closed, rubbing against each other. She kept grabbing her t-shirt with her other hand, she just didn’t know what to do with herself “What do you want now? You want me to keep dancing for you, or you want me to fuck you?” She couldn’t answer immediately, and Kyung Soo was amused by how the two option were battling inside her head “I…I don’t know” He laughed, such an adorable laugh compared with this sinful situation “I’m so turn on and I really want you to fuck me, but also I’m loving seeing you dance this close”

“Then is pretty clear, I’m finishing this dance, and then we are fucking in this chair” She agreed, with a small voice.

I’m going to slightly pull on us

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

He moved away from her suddenly, getting on his knees, pulling her legs open. He grabbed her waist and rubbed his body against her middle, moving up until they were face to face. He was breathing heavily, and his breath fanning her face felt suffocating. He got up, closed her legs, turned around and straddled her lap, giving her his back. He dropped his body to the front, resting his weight on his hands, and started rubbing his still clothed and very hard dick against her. She had a close look at his perfectly formed ass, and her hands were itching to touch him, but they were trapped with his legs. He kept moving his body, rolling his hips, rubbing himself against her.

But now my heart is spilling out, after the long is over

Your name rises in my heart as the sun

Story will be written on your heart

You’ll be mine

He moved up, resting his back against her chest, she brought her lips to his skin, hot and slightly wet. She dropped a kiss on his shoulder blade, tentatively, and heard him sight in content. He reached back to hold her hands and brought them to his chest. He moved them up and down a couple of times, slowly, to please himself, and to torture her probably. She was losing it, and biting his shoulder looked like a good way to release some tension, but before she could do it, he was gone. He stood up suddenly, re-arranged his pants and turned around, grinning “Are you okay?” He asked, with a tiny bit of mock in his voice. Not enough to annoy her, but enough to make her want to erase that grin with a filthy kiss “Very, please keep dancing” She answered, more like begged. Kyung Soo walked behind her and moved her hair to one side, so he could have clean access to her neck. She shivered violently when he dropped a light kiss on his shoulder and then whispered against her ear “I love how open you are” Immediately she looked down at her legs. Her thighs were closed tight, trying to control the urgency of her crotch “No, not that silly, I mean you, you always say how you feel, you are an open book, most of the time” He bit her earlobe playfully, and she was so grateful that he was doing this under his own rules and he was touching her, otherwise she would have gone insane by now. She was on the verge. And Kyung Soo with his furtive touch fueled that insanity but tamed down the fire burning all over her body. Suddenly she felt very selfish. She knew Kyung Soo didn’t do lap dances, but he better didn’t start now. She wasn’t going to share this with anyone. She was ok, more than ok, with him dancing, but this, this amount of teasing, sensuality, and confidence had to remain just to herself. This was her Kyung Soo acting like D.O only for her.

Her Kyung Soo.

Was he hers?

Kyung Soo stopped whatever line of thought she was entering when he moved to her front and pulled off his pants. With no warning. Not teasing hip movement or fondling. Just pulled. The sound of the Velcro resounded on her ears, and the view of his naked legs and tight briefs knocked the air out of her lungs. She was so used to that view, whenever they had sex, when he got ready to leave to work, when he walked around her kitchen preparing something. It was so common, but in this context, it looked new.

He took one, two and three short steps back. Very slowly. Like a feline. He sat down on his knees, breathing heavily, resting his hands on his thighs, his stare fixed on her. She could see his hard-on, the faint shine of his sweat on his chest and forehead, and the darkness of his eyes. She wasn’t the only one enjoying this. It was clear. Kyung Soo was getting a kick from feeling this wanted, from having this control. And she was going to show him how she was enjoying it too. As soon as the show was over, she was going to find permanent residence between his legs. She was going to suck the hell out of that hard-on. She moved her eyes back to his. The music was over. There was silence, only their breathings were audible. Quite loudly.

Kyung Soo licked his lips a couple of times and run his hand over his face. He reached ahead and grabbed her chair, pulling it to him, capturing her again between his body and the chair. His naked chest felt hot trough the fabric of her pants, she wanted to open her legs wider, so she could feel him closer where her body was burning the most “What do you want?” He asked, his hands caressing her thighs “I want to touch you, I want to suck you off”

“Do it then”

“Really?” He didn’t answer, he got up and gestured her to pull down his underwear “Go ahead Moon Soo, I know you are great at it” With firm hands, she grabbed his black briefs and pulled them down in one go. She moved her face closer to him, thirsty.

She didn’t go for teasing licks or any kind of foreplay, she knew he liked to be touched, his abdomen, groin, and thighs. But this time she would have to skip all that, for her own sake. She immediately attached her mouth to the tip of his dick, sucking hard. Both moaned at the same time. His hands went to her head, holding her hair softly. She moved her hands to his thighs, but stopped halfway, Kyung Soo said no touching, at least not without his permission “Go ahead, you can touch me now” And she did.

She held on to his thighs for dear life. Moon Soo set to first tease playfully, licking his hard cock a few times before swallowing it whole. His breath hitched before he let out a long growl, rolling his hips to slide deeper on to Moon Soo’s mouth. The sounds he made and his fingers pulling her head spurred her more. She hollowed her cheeks, sucking harder, bobbing her head faster. Kyung Soo didn’t know what to do with himself “Moon Soo, stop! I’m going to come” She released him with a loud pop “Do it, come, do it in my mouth” She urged him, drooling, all shame she could feel was long gone “No, I’m going to fuck you, I need to be inside you”

“Kyung Soo, you are driving me crazy”

“Come here” He pulled her up by her arms and made her stand in front of him. Quickly, he removed her clothes and underwear and finished by taking off his last piece of clothing. He pulled her body close to his, hands moving from her arm to his nape, and Moon Soo felt how the hairs of her arms stood on its end. She pulled him closer by the waist, feeling his hard cock against her stomach. Moon Soo closed her eyes briefly when Kyung Soo’s hot breath touched her skin, trying to calm herself down. He stroked her nape and leaned in more and more until their lips met. Moon Soo gave him easy access for his tongue to explore. She took his kiss greedily, sucking his upper lip, biting his lower lip, feeling his teeth capturing her lower lip as their hands roamed each other bodies. Both of them were panting heavily after resurfacing from the kiss.

He grabbed her face firmly but kept caressing her cheeks tenderly. Quickly, he changed positions with her and sat at the chair, bringing her with him, making her sit on his lap “Ride me”

“Here?” He nodded, his eyes dark with lust “Here, come on, ride me” He framed her face as she leaned in to kiss him, arranging her body on top of him, moving her chest closer to his, sitting on his thick thighs comfortably. Her hands carded through Kyung Soo’s hair and her tongue ran along his lower lip before slipping inside Kyung Soo’s mouth. She could still taste the alcohol he drank to gain confidence, there was a sweetness also, or she could just idealizing the kiss. He pulled back and his hands slid down her neck to her chest, moving around her torso, his eyes following their path appreciatively. His lips found purchase on a patch of skin between her breast, and he sucked gently before grazing his teeth along the same patch.

Moon Soo gasped loudly, fisting her hands in Kyung Soo’s dark hair painfully. Although he didn’t complain. His hands slid down Moon Soo’s chest to rest on her hips, trying to pull her closer, closer than she already was. It seemed impossible to her. She was already able to feel the heat coming from his skin, if she allowed herself to exaggerate a little bit, she felt the beat of her heart against her own chest. But Kyung Soo needed her closer, and there was one way to fulfill his wishes. She stood up, amused by Kyung Soo angry exhale, which sounded almost like a snarl “We need a condom, I’ll be back” Before she could leave, Kyung Soo grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to him “No need to go far, there’s one on my pants” She looked down to the floor, and Kyung Soo’s pants were resting next to her right foot, torn apart, but still useful. She fetched the piece of foil that peeked from inside one of his pockets and incorporate back on to his lap. Kyung Soo rested his hands on her knees as she was putting his condom on, focused on her task. He kept his eyes closed, his lower lip tightly captured between his teeth, he was very sensitive apparently. He reached for her face and catch her lower lip between his teeth. Moon Soo grunted at the pain and moved closer to him, so he could have his much-needed skinship. Kyung Soo dragged his lips up her jaw to her ear and nipped her earlobe, she felt her body melt on his lap. His hands grabbed her thighs, gave them a couple of squeezes and then moved back to her bottom to pull her closer to his dick. She felt him hard against her inner thigh. She moaned, involuntarily, and Kyung Soo grinned as she threw her arms around his neck, trying to calm her whimpers by kissing him. Kyung Soo bucked his hips up, looking for some friction, and trying to get more moans out of her, which was quite an easy job “Fuck me already Kyung Soo, I’m desperate”

“You are on top, help yourself” She cursed at him for always being a sexy asshole in this kind of situations. He ran his hands up Moon Soo’s sides as she grabbed him and helped herself. Kyung Soo’s frame shivered and soon they were pressed together skin to skin “You are so wet, is this because of my lap dance?” She only nodded, focused on finding a good rhythm with the movement of her hips “So do I get a nice tip?” Moon Soo couldn’t stop her giggles “This is your tip” She said, biting his earlobe. Kyung Soo let his mouth wander down her chest, stopping to tease her nipples with his teeth. He sucked the area gently and then bit down as he bucked his hips, the chair squeaking against the floor. Moon Soo was pleased to see the dark shade of pink on his cheeks when she pulled apart to get a bit of air in her lungs. She ran her hands up Kyung Soo’s chest, enjoying the feel of his soft skin and the warmth of it. She loved how solid he felt under her hands. She scraped her nails down his chest lightly, engraving in her head the sounds his mouth made. Moon Soo never stopped moving her hips, the more Kyung Soo moaned or grunted, the faster her hips moved, looking for relief. Kyung Soo grunted again, squeezing her hips hard “Go slow please, or I’m not going to be able to hold it”

“So what?”

“I want to make this last, is that too bad?” He finished with a deep moan when Moon Soo snapped her hips again. Her pace went slow, Kyung Soo was never one to have a quickie, and she quite liked that, so she complied with his request. She rocked her hips forward, feeling every inch of Kyung Soo as he also moved his hips, meeting her halfway. He ran both hands up Moon Soo’s back and made her yelp in surprise when he suddenly pulled her to him, capturing her lips in a wet sloppy kiss, his hands resting heavily on her shoulder blades. Moon Soo wanted to move her hips fast and strong, but she contained herself. She was an obedient lover.

Kyung Soo’s kiss had her moaning nonstop, every breath ended in a moan. And she couldn’t avoid pinching his nipple in reprimand when she felt him smile against her lips. His victory was short-lived as Moon Soo decided to speed things up, moving her chest away from his, resting her hands on his knees, exposing herself to him. Kyung Soo moaned at the view, his eyes moving slowly from her face to her chest and then where both were connected. He thrust in, hard and repeatedly. Moon Soo felt her hands grabbing into his knees as claws so she wouldn’t fall back. Kyung Soo moved one of his hands to her lower back and the other to her clit, rubbing circles with his strong fingers. She felt herself clench harder around him “Fuck Kyung Soo!” She cursed involuntarily, and the sound of his chuckle irritated her just a tiny bit “I changed my mind, come now, I wanna see it, I wanna see you” Both of their breaths were coming in pants. She moved, taking Kyung Soo out of her and took a couple of seconds to move back, having him inside again. Her entire body buzzed to that feeling, her muscles felt like cotton and when she closed her eyes she saw lights of all colors. For some reason, she felt more sensitive than other times. Maybe it was the position, or the alcohol from before, or the lap dance. Probably it was all of them combined. She was so close, but before, she wanted to make true a small fantasy of hers “Come on me Kyung Soo” He looked at her puzzled “I want your cum on me, here” She completed, pointing at her mound. He locked eyes with her, and she saw them grow dark. His lips formed a perfect smirk and he whispered a “My pleasure” Moon Soo got down to work, her hips rolling, kind of imitating his movements from before. And it was clear that he quite liked that “Touch yourself, I wanna see you” She obeyed immediately, she knew just what to do to get the release she and Kyung Soo needed. He looked at her hypnotized, his hips were bucking against her now, softly but decisively. One of those thrusts overflowed her. She came violently. Her core shaking, her moans loud, but not loud enough. She grabbed on to Kyung Soo’s knees stronger, but he didn’t complain, so she rode her pleasure to the end, letting its fire wash over her. Kyung Soo didn’t wait for one more second and reached down to take his condom off, tossing it to the side. He positioned himself and rubbed his erection a couple of times before his orgasm hit him strongly. His cum formed irregular patterns on her skin, and it felt hot and sinfully pleasurable. Kyung Soo kept pumping himself until she stopped him to do it by herself. His dick was growing soft, but it still felt heavy against her hand. She leaned forward, back to her place against Kyung Soo’s chest, and pressed open-mouthed kisses to his neck and shoulders, then finally crushed their mouths together in a bruising kiss. He grunted into her mouth as he circled his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly “So you really enjoyed the lap dance” He commented, his voice muffled by her skin “So much”

“Happy birthday…should I start doing it at the club?” She knew he was joking, but leaving things clear couldn’t hurt anybody “No, that’s only for me, got it?”

“Loud and clear ma’am” He nuzzled her neck, sucking enough to leave a couple of marks there “Am I gonna get this treatment too someday?” He asked, moving his head to the other side of her neck “You want me to give you a lap dance?”

“I would love too”

“Then wait for your birthday”

“Next year then” Moon Soo let it pass, she was confident enough to give him a lap dance. She wasn’t the best dancer, but she knew how to undulate her body and that was all it takes. But one thing that stayed with her during the rest of the night, meanwhile he carried her to her room, to fuck again, and then when he got with her in the tub, was how he so easily made plans for next year.

He was planning to stay around for a long time apparently.

And her chest vibrated with glee.

Bosses were betrayers. That’s for sure.

Hers knew she took her day off to celebrate her birthday. And that always implied a hangover, maybe a headache, or just the honest need of rest. But the bastard told her to go back to work at 8 am. An hour that was simply ridiculous.

Her alarm was set to ring at 6 am.

She went to bed at 3 am.

It wasn’t weariness what didn’t allow her to get up though. Well, that too, but she was used to functioning tired.

The reason for her grogginess was the professional cuddling that Kyung Soo was performing on her. Her body was cocooned by Kyung Soo’s with engineering perfection. His chin resting against her head, her back warmed by his chest, her butt like a puzzle piece fit against his dick and their legs were entangled, sharing warmth since their covers were lost somewhere. He was awake too, she felt the change in his breathing, And the hand that was resting against one of her boobs tightened its grip “You can’t get up?”

“No” He hummed behind her, rubbing his body against her “You shouldn’t…you really have to?”

“Yeah, I have to be at the hospital at 8 o’clock” He stayed silent for a couple of seconds, thinking about something. “Wanna come so you can have some energy” He proposed, his hand fondling her breast and moving down with a clear agenda “Will love to, but I don’t have time to have sex”

“No, no sex, I was thinking about getting you off”

“That I can do” He helped her turn on to her back, his right arm pillowing her head, his left hand already getting under her underwear. There was no time to be lost. His fingers massaged her with experience. They already knew what to do and how to get her moaning in a couple of minutes. Most of the time she kept her eyes closed in complete bliss. But when she opened them, she found him looking at her fondly. Of course, his eyes were dark, and he kept licking and biting his lips, but there was this spark of something in his eyes. As if this was more than just getting your lover off. He was caring about her. Or at least it felt like that, and she felt so…so…

Kyung Soo thought it was the right time to finger fuck her. And he was never wrong. He used his index and middle finger to get in and massage her, and her thumb remained stuck to her clit, pressing and rubbing. Her orgasm hit her quickly, and very strongly. She couldn’t open her eyes nor close her mouth. Her lower back lifted from the mattress, her hands grasping whatever was around them. Normally her body would go down after a minute, maybe two. But after her body was back to a relaxed position, with Kyung Soo’s hands roaming her, helping her to stay calm, her heartbeat remained strong and fast. The drumming on her ears was still loud and her limbs were numb. And then it happened.

Kyung Soo kissed her temple, tenderly, innocently. But her body amplified the feelings and emotions that this simple act caused on her.

She felt her heart explode. As exaggerated and repetitive as that could sound. It just exploded. And her blood was rushing all over her body. Dizziness, trembling, ragged breathing, partial loss of consciousness. She was feeling all that, and more.

She was hyperventilating. She sat up abruptly, a thing that didn’t help her current situation. She brought one of her hands to her chest and the other to her neck, checking her pulse. And it was not ok “What happened?” He asked her clearly worried. She didn’t dare to look at him “My heart rate, Jesus, look!” She grabbed his hand and put it on her chest. His eyes opened wide, a familiar expression that was one of her favorites. Her heart rate went up immediately “Are you sure you are ok?”

“Yeah, don’t worry…I just, it was a lot, I came and then I had this thought and then you kissed me and my heart just…it feels so weird still”

“What thought you had?” His voice was so low, and his eyes so serious. She knew her answer would dictate things from now on, and he knew that too “Uh?” Was the only thing she could form “Don’t act dumb, what thought you had?” He insisted “I don’t want to say it”

“Say it so I can say my thoughts too”

“I was just…I came to realize that I like you a lot” The hand he had against her chest move down to her waist and he moved his head closer to hers, half facing her “You have like me for a while now, That’s why we have been doing this for a long time” He kissed her shoulder snuggling closer to her “Is it more than that?” He asked with confidence “Yeah it is”

“Say it”

“I think I love you” He relaxed next to her. He looked so confident before her confession, but now it was clear he was alleviated “Well, on my side, I know I love you” There it was again the tachycardia “Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked him, flustered “I don’t think we were ready” His hand kept rubbing patterns against her body, and his eyes looked calm, which gave her some rest, although his confection still had her shook “And now we are? Ready I mean”

“Sure”

“Says who?”

“I say” He smiled at her and kissed her briefly. She giggled shyly. The shyest she had felt since she met him. Before she could kiss him too, she had to confess too “I love you Kyung Soo”

“Me too Moon Soo” She kissed him this time, but quickly he dominated the kiss, sinking his hands in her hair, trying to push her back to the bed, succeeding.

She called in sick.

And Kyung Soo skipped rehearsing.

The End

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